‘Running Scared’ (1986) With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan head to Key West to fulfill their lifelong dream of rewatching the 1986 buddy-cop comedy ‘Running Scared,’ starring Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines. Watch this episode on our Ringer Movies YouTube channel! Producer: Craig Horlbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  What's happening? It's Todd McShay and I'm back with a new home and a new show at The Ringer and Spotify. The McShay Show. It's a video and audio podcast coming to you year round with all my NFL draft information, big boards, mock drafts and player movement. Plus, I'll be chatting with some of my best friends in football, including some of your favorite football analysts. During the week, we'll have episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays that'll include discussions about my player rankings, who's rising, who's falling, and who your NFL team should be keeping an eye on. Plus, we'll be reacting each week to the college football playoff polls and giving you previews and picks for each Saturday slate. In addition, I'll have episodes on Saturday nights with my immediate reaction to the full

• 0:44Speaker 00

  day in college football every week. So if you love the college game, the NFL, the draft, or all of it like me, make sure to like, follow, subscribe, and get ready for The McShay Show on The Ringer, Spotify, and wherever you watch or listen to podcasts.

• 1:03Speaker 01

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• 1:33Bill Simmons?

  The Rewatchables, brought to by The Ringer Podcast Network, where you can find the watch with Chris Ryan.

• 1:38Chris Ryan?

  That's right, and Andy Grunwald, but thank you for putting me first.

• 1:41Bill Simmons?

  He's in London, right?

• 1:42Chris Ryan?

  Uh, he's back and forth a lot.

• 1:43Bill Simmons?

  He's back and forth?

• 1:44Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:45Bill Simmons?

  He's like a politician? What's going on with that guy? My name is Bill Simmons. You can watch all the clips and videos from this podcast on The Ringer Movies Channel. This is our last time in the weird studio.

• 1:56Chris Ryan?

  You're getting sentimental.

• 1:58Bill Simmons?

  Not really.

• 1:58Chris Ryan?

  Bigger and better things for us.

• 2:00Bill Simmons?

  How many studios have we taped in? We had, in the old Sunset Hour place, we had the chapel. We had PS2.

• 2:06Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 2:06Bill Simmons?

  We had PS3.

• 2:07Chris Ryan?

  We had your office.

• 2:08Bill Simmons?

  There was three. We had my, my pool house.

• 2:10Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:11Bill Simmons?

  That's four. We had my office, that's five. And then this was six. And I think we did a couple in Pod City. We've had seven locations for the Rewatchables.

• 2:18Chris Ryan?

  Just a pair of detectives looking for our Key West bar.

• 2:21Bill Simmons?

  What's, what's your, what was your favorite of all the locations?

• 2:23Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I mean, the chapel was the most unique and also we did the town in there.

• 2:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that is true. The peak of the Rewatchables. The happiest I've ever seen you in the 13 years we've known each other. Coming up, we are gonna finally do a movie that we've wanted to do for a long time. Running Scared is next.

• 2:40Speaker 04

  Let me tell you something. When you've been cops this long, you are not fit for anything else.

• 2:47Speaker 05

  I can't believe that you missed all six shots. What are you talking about? I hit the windshield six times in a row. I'm the one who made him swerve. Oh, you made him swerve? Yes, sir. You always aim low anyway. Oh, good, nagging me now. Nagging is good. You owe me 10 bucks that I never said anything. You want it now? Yeah, I want it now.

• 3:07Speaker 05

  Oh, now you're gonna criticize my driving? Well, just that you get to do all the dangerous stuff and I get to parallel park.

• 3:22Speaker 05

  I love this job.

• 3:32Bill Simmons?

  All right, CR. So we have a yacht rock documentary as part of the music series that's coming on November 29th on HBO and Max.

• 3:42Chris Ryan?

  Awesome movie.

• 3:43Bill Simmons?

  Um, really fun movie. I, I just refuse to believe anybody wouldn't enjoy the hell out of it. The music's great, but a big person in this is Michael McDonald.

• 3:51Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 3:52Bill Simmons?

  And a lot of people, or maybe just me, have always felt that the Sweet Freedom video from Running Scared was the official end of Yacht Rock.

• 4:02Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 4:02Bill Simmons?

  Yacht Rock was holding on for like a year and a half, two years, and then we had this video and we had the appearance of the movie and then Yacht Rock kind of ends. Although we didn't know it was Yacht Rock yet, that's what the doc's about. Nobody knew it was a genre for 20 years until it became a genre belatedly.

• 4:19Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, it becomes kind of mid 80s leisure core, you know, like this, maybe a little Weekend at Bernie's, like there is like a kind of a cocktail. We start to move into more of a like, what if we escaped the islands? What if we had a perma beach life?

• 4:34Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 4:35Chris Ryan?

  But the idea of like, no, like let's, let's get Steely Dan and let's get a bunch of cocaine and just kind of have a night, that kind of disappears.

• 4:44Bill Simmons?

  Well, this all made sense in 1986, that we would have a movie with Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines as buddy cops in Chicago and that the crucial scene in the movie would be a Michael McDonald Key West scene.

• 5:10Bill Simmons?

  I swear to God, it made sense in 1986. It's still hitting 38 years later in the same way. That, I love this movie, but then when they go to Key West, it's like, oh my God, this is gonna be the best five minutes of my life.

• 5:21Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, it's, in my mind, this scene and this part of the film was like half an hour or 40 minutes.

• 5:28Bill Simmons?

  What is it, like four minutes?

• 5:30Chris Ryan?

  It's like four minutes long. It's like they, they go there, they, they basically fall in love with the place, then they're like, oh, we gotta go back and get Julio.

• 5:36Bill Simmons?

  They meet hot girls left and right. They learn how to roller skate, they open a bar.

• 5:40Chris Ryan?

  They're putting up like Cam Thomas numbers.

• 5:44Chris Ryan?

  And then, but yeah, like when you watch this movie, it's basically a pretty by the numbers Chicago cop movie that's very entertaining because of the chemistry of the two detectives. But it has this weird wanderlust with this Key West sequence that kind of makes the entire movie sing.

• 6:00Bill Simmons?

  And it's also like a different movie and maybe a movie I would have wanted more as much as I liked Running Scared. I'm totally fine with them just being in Key West, running a bar and then like getting involved with criminals.

• 6:11Chris Ryan?

  If I just showed somebody who'd never seen Running Scared, that sequence of Key West, they would be like, this is a movie about two guys who are in love who moved to Florida to open a bar. If you just see Billy Crystal pouring beer all over Gregory Hyde's like half naked body. You'd be like, oh yeah, this is great. This is like Call Me By Your Name, but with a bar.

• 6:32Bill Simmons?

  The eighties are very homoerotic.

• 6:36Bill Simmons?

  The bigger thing is this is a buddy cop movie during the, the first heyday of the buddy cops. Buddy Cop era, which started with 48 Hours. Beverly Hills Cop, you count?

• 6:46Chris Ryan?

  Mm hmm.

• 6:47Bill Simmons?

  Running Scared, Stakeout, Lethal Weapon one and two. I count Turner and Hooch, even though Hooch was a dog.

• 6:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, we need to get into the technicalities of this a little bit.

• 6:56Bill Simmons?

  I count Hooch. That's Buddy Cop to me. It's two, it's two, two cops trying to get together. One just happened to be a slobbering dog. And then Tango and Cash?

• 7:05Chris Ryan?

  Mm hmm.

• 7:05Bill Simmons?

  That's all in the eighties. And then we move into like you in the nineties. Bad Boys is the first kind of

• 7:12Chris Ryan?

  Return.

• 7:12Bill Simmons?

  younger brother of these movies where it's like, hey, everybody loved those movies. Let's put Will Smith and Martin Lawrence together. And then, you know, we get Rush Hour with the other guys, Twenty One Jump Street, The Heat. Like it's a recurring theme. But what are your favorites? Give me your top four or five ever.

• 7:26Chris Ryan?

  There's like, uh, there's a rushmore of this stuff where it's like, you know, 48 Hours, I think Lethal Weapon's in there.

• 7:32Bill Simmons?

  Yep. Which one? One or two?

• 7:34Chris Ryan?

  I would go two if you're talking about pure comedy, which is where I feel like you're kind of taking this is.

• 7:39Bill Simmons?

  I think it's two for Lethal Weapon because they really, and we did that on, we watched it was already, they really had figured out the characters and the comedy and the balance between comedy and action.

• 7:47Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, because Mel Gibson spends most of the first one in a state of suicidal despair. So it's a little bit of a different vibe than two. See, when you first asked me this, I was also thinking beyond comedy, you still go, you can go into Training Day. You can go into Miami Vice, Michael Mann. You can go into

• 8:03Bill Simmons?

  We could, we sure could. I went to Audible and just do Miami Vice. I'm ready to do it right now.

• 8:09Chris Ryan?

  And then I was also asking you whether or not you would make allowances for Ex cops who are now detectives are doing what like?

• 8:17Bill Simmons?

  Yes, is Midnight Run a buddy cop movie?

• 8:19Chris Ryan?

  I think it is.

• 8:22Chris Ryan?

  I think Jack was a former cop. I think there are lots of cops in it and they are buddies eventually.

• 8:28Bill Simmons?

  Can we say it's buddy cop adjacent?

• 8:30Chris Ryan?

  That's fine. Yeah.

• 8:31Bill Simmons?

  So maybe Turner and Hooch is buddy cop adjacent too, because it's a dog. This to me is the ultimate buddy cop movie because the crucial twist is these guys are best friends and they just love each other.

• 8:42Chris Ryan?

  Yes, because most buddy cop movies are opposites attract.

• 8:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's like, I don't like this guy. Wait, I'm starting to like him. Oh, now we gotta work together. Even Bad Boys, it's very adversarial, the whole movie. This movie is like, these two guys just love each other. They have each other's back. They make jokes. They're always on the same page.

• 8:58Chris Ryan?

  Way more than they love the women in their lives.

• 9:00Bill Simmons?

  Right, right. That might have been why the divorce happened. But I think for me, it's 48 Hours, Lethal Weapon 2, Running Scared.

• 9:12Bill Simmons?

  And I would probably put Bad Boys, the first one.

• 9:14Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 9:14Bill Simmons?

  I think that's my four. So what's your, what's your?

• 9:16Chris Ryan?

  I think I would go to just mix it up, 48 Hours, Lethal Weapon 2, Training Day, The Nice Guys.

• 9:25Bill Simmons?

  Oh, interesting.

• 9:25Chris Ryan?

  Russell Crowe, Ryan Gosling.

• 9:27Bill Simmons?

  Got a lot of requests for The Nice Guys.

• 9:29Chris Ryan?

  It's so fucking funny.

• 9:30Bill Simmons?

  You like that movie, Craig?

• 9:31Chris Ryan?

  I love that movie. I love that movie.

• 9:32Bill Simmons?

  It's on the list. Maybe we'll do it in 2025.

• 9:35Chris Ryan?

  Okay, and uh?

• 9:36Bill Simmons?

  If the feed keeps going, we'll do it.

• 9:39Chris Ryan?

  Nice Guys, Almost Famous, double feature.

• 9:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 9:42Chris Ryan?

  Uh, and then I'd probably go Vice.

• 9:45Bill Simmons?

  Vice?

• 9:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 9:46Bill Simmons?

  That's, see, I don't think that, I think you have to have humor to have a buddy cop movie.

• 9:49Chris Ryan?

  I'll do Midnight Run. I'll take my Midnight Run.

• 9:51Bill Simmons?

  If we're just doing cops, then that opens like French Connection and like, we're, we're in this whole other universe of cops.

• 9:57Chris Ryan?

  Okay, so 48 Hours to, sorry, 48 Hours, Lethal Weapon 2, The Nice Guys, Running Scared, Midnight Run. Those are my five.

• 10:06Bill Simmons?

  Well, Midnight Run counts. That has to be in. So maybe it's those four and then Midnight Run.

• 10:10Chris Ryan?

  Or Turner and Hooch, yeah.

• 10:11Bill Simmons?

  The sixth man off the bench, because it's not necessarily a buddy cop. I think the two that have to be on there are 48 Hours and Lethal Weapon 2.

• 10:19Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 10:20Bill Simmons?

  They have to be on every list.

• 10:21Chris Ryan?

  Both of those exemplify. What you're talking about, which is that do these movies basically succeed? Because the actual point of watching them is to see these people become friends, rather than whatever the case is. Like, you and I have watched Lethal Weapon 500 times. We know about, like, in Lethal Weapon 2, the South African bad guys in Lethal Weapon 2. I always forget who the bad guy is in Running Scared until I'm fired it up and start watching it again.

• 10:47Bill Simmons?

  It's like Smith's.

• 10:49Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but the plot is kind of this, like, opaque thing where you're just like, ah, they're just chasing this guy all over Chicago over and over and over again. And it's because the fact that you don't have to worry about whether they're gonna become friends. I think you almost concentrate more on the crime part of Running Scared.

• 11:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, and the chase scenes, all that stuff. Um, a couple of big elements. I mean, Chicago is used incredibly. We'll get to that later. They're catching two guys at a perfect point in their careers.

• 11:17Chris Ryan?

  I wanted to ask you about this.

• 11:17Bill Simmons?

  Which I think, like, 48 Hours catches Eddie at the, at the beginning of the, you know, the apex. The, the five years of him flying as close to the sun as you're gonna get as a comedian. Um, and then Nolte had a really good stage of his career too, right as he's starting to become a cranky, older drunk, but he's still handsome enough, but he, now he's got some baggage. This movie has Crystal coming out of SNL when he was, he was the star of the 10th season of SNL, when they did, like, the All-Star Cast. And he's in there for one year and he goes from being a comedian that everybody liked, who was on Soap, TV show from 50 years ago, to becoming like a real star, like a comedy star, that made you wanna know what his, what his movie was gonna be.

• 12:02Bill Simmons?

  You knew the movie was coming halfway through that season and this was the movie. And then Heinz, I think, I think people really liked Heinz. I actually, I wanna talk, we can talk about this now or later. I don't know why he wasn't a bigger movie star, other than, I don't think there were like a ton of black actor parts.

• 12:19Chris Ryan?

  No, I mean, that was-

• 12:20Bill Simmons?

  I think that's really the reason.

• 12:21Chris Ryan?

  That was a big draw for him, for this role, was to get to play, like, a fully fleshed out character, get to have sex with women and make jokes and be an equal partner in a partnership with a white guy, like-

• 12:31Bill Simmons?

  Make a 20 footer and Chicago cold. Yeah, so Gregory Heinz, he makes, he's a tap dancer. He's like this great dancer in real life. And he's in History of the World, Part One, Mel Brooks. A movie that I love. I don't know if it's aged probably great.

• 12:46Chris Ryan?

  Been a long time, but yeah.

• 12:47Bill Simmons?

  It might have to be in what's aged the worst month. But he was a replacement for Richard Pryor because Richard Pryor had the freebasing accent. Richard Pryor was supposed to be in that scene. So Heinz is in it and he's really good. He was supposed to be in Forty Eight Hours and dropped out because he got this big part in Cotton Club, which was the Coppola movie everyone thought was gonna be massive. It wasn't. And then he was in White Nights.

• 13:11Chris Ryan?

  With Borishnikov.

• 13:12Bill Simmons?

  Borishnikov, which was a kind of a big deal movie in 1985. It was a big deal. He was in a movie. It was like, I didn't love it, but it was a thing. And then Running Scared, but it never, never really a hundred percent happened for him. So why? Is it just as simple as there were enough parts for black actors?

• 13:28Chris Ryan?

  I think it probably comes down to that. There's, uh, it's funny. If you just watched this movie, you would think that he'd made 10 other movies like this, though. He seems very at home doing this kind of like city.

• 13:41Bill Simmons?

  Wise cracking.

• 13:42Chris Ryan?

  Comedy thriller. Yeah. He seems very comfortable shooting a gun and running around and making jokes with Billy Crystal. And that was the thing that actually, I think really like, it's sad is like, his comic chops are kind of on the level of Crystal's in this movie.

• 13:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 13:56Chris Ryan?

  They're doing this funny thing where Gregory Heinz being a dancer, you would expect him to be physically capable. Crystal's cut, like Crystal, when he takes a shirt.

• 14:03Bill Simmons?

  My wife noticed that. She's like, Jesus, Billy Crystal.

• 14:06Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. So there's like almost this weird like, if you project forward, could, could Gregory Heinz have done a bunch of Danny Glover, Denzel Washington roles? And could Billy Crystal have done more of the like masculine Tom Hanks roles of the nineties? If like, things had changed different, like broken differently? Like it's, they all, they wind up going on these separate paths and never really doing something like Running Scared again.

• 14:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Crystal has that SNL season. He's second billing in Running Scared, which speaks to like, he was a TV star that nobody knew if he could carry a movie yet. Princess Brad, Throw Mama From The Train, When Harry Met Sally, It Blows Up, and then City Slickers. And that's all from 86 to 91. He's hosting the Oscars by then and becomes like A-plus list Billy Crystal. Never did another cop movie like this.

• 14:52Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, he's like, but also the things that he gets famous for are like being a nebbish guy who wears chunky sweaters. And in this movie, he's like, I like the Cubs, I like women drinking beer and like having police involved shootings.

• 15:07Bill Simmons?

  Well, I had this later for the.

• 15:11Bill Simmons?

  For the hottest take. I'm just gonna do it now.

• 15:16Bill Simmons?

  They left so much money on the table with this.

• 15:18Chris Ryan?

  I know. I know.

• 15:19Bill Simmons?

  I just don't understand it. I don't understand how there weren't four of these. Cause first of all, this movie did pretty well when it came out, but then it was just on cable for five straight years. And everybody loved this movie and everybody and Billy Crystal got bigger. And it's a little like, at some point, it's just common sense, like, let's run it back. Like, Lethal Weapon did this.

• 15:38Chris Ryan?

  He got so big for a different kind of thing than Running Scared, they didn't wanna go back and do Running Scared.

• 15:44Bill Simmons?

  You know, I don't know if anyone, I've never had him on my podcast, I would love to have him.

• 15:50Bill Simmons?

  I don't know whether he felt like he was becoming like family friendly Oscars guy and didn't wanna do another movie where he had like guns and R rated movie with bad guys. It's the only thing I can think of.

• 16:00Chris Ryan?

  Cause Danny in this movie is like the polar opposite of the guy who plays in City Slickers.

• 16:04Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:04Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 16:05Bill Simmons?

  I, I'll go further, I don't think he's ever played a guy remotely like this again. I mean, this, this guy has nothing in common with any other character he played. It would almost be like if Ben Stiller was this guy, was Danny Castanzo.

• 16:16Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 16:16Bill Simmons?

  And then it just like never anything again like it.

• 16:19Chris Ryan?

  They kinda, so the script was a screenplay that had been written about like two older cops who really wanna retire.

• 16:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 16:27Chris Ryan?

  And it was supposed to be kind of like these grizzled guys at the end of their careers.

• 16:30Bill Simmons?

  In New York City.

• 16:31Chris Ryan?

  And so maybe the reason why this whole thing works is because it wasn't like written for Crystal.

• 16:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 16:37Chris Ryan?

  Uh, it was, here's the script, here's an idea, we're gonna make these guys younger. And then obviously, when you watch it, it, whether it's like improvised and then written or improvised on the set, like so much of the dialogue seems like it's just coming from these guys.

• 16:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, and you could feel it, I don't know if they filmed it in sequence, but it feels like it does. And you could just feel them getting better with each other as the movie's going along, which I think Forty Eight Hours had that too. Bad Boys definitely had it. Lethal Weapon Two definitely had it, like the more this guys spend together, if they, time spend together, if they like each other.

• 17:07Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 17:08Bill Simmons?

  You start to feel it in the movie and that's, we've seen a lot of movies where they throw the cops together and you don't have that.

• 17:14Chris Ryan?

  Absolutely.

• 17:14Bill Simmons?

  It's like, ah, I'm not sure why this didn't work.

• 17:17Chris Ryan?

  Also, the, you know, in those kinds of movies, you can at least be like, well, these guys, the characters don't like each other. So if the chemistry is not perfect yet, that's fine. In this movie, these guys have to be best friends from when the movie, from the first scene, from the title sequence. They're like, we spend all of our time with each other. I walk in when this guy is having sex with a woman with donuts. Like, that has to be like.

• 17:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you've known each other for 25 years. It's like in fantasy.

• 17:41Chris Ryan?

  That's right.

• 17:42Bill Simmons?

  When you walk in on fantasy in Coettis.

• 17:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, so we had, I think Bad Boys was the younger brother. And then we had that whole era of the sons of these movies, which I think the other guys is in there and nice guys.

• 17:57Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 17:57Bill Simmons?

  Uh, 21 Jump Street definitely is inspired by both the eighties plus this. The Heat, I think, is really good. It's on the rewatchable list. That, that movie's kind of underrated, actually. I think it did well. It's good, but I actually think, um, it should have like a second tale.

• 18:12Chris Ryan?

  The Heat also has like a really good, uh, YouTube channel. Like, it's basically like all the bloopers and stuff from The Heat. It's kind of like Anchorman where it's like almost as good as the scenes in the movie.

• 18:22Bill Simmons?

  This movie has another big picture thing.

• 18:26Bill Simmons?

  The aspirational bar thing, which is core to, core to your character, your beliefs.

• 18:33Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 18:34Bill Simmons?

  These guys are, they're in Chicago. It's freezing cold. They're getting shot at. They're dealing with all these scumbags and lowlifes. And they both have this epiphany, like, why are we doing this?

• 18:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 18:46Bill Simmons?

  And they go to, they go to Florida. They go to Key West.

• 18:49Chris Ryan?

  They take Aunt Rose's.

• 18:50Bill Simmons?

  They take Aunt Rose's 40 grand.

• 18:52Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 18:53Bill Simmons?

  And they have this great time and they're looking at a bar and they're like, bar for lease. Why wouldn't, we could just live here and this could be our life. And

• 19:00Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 19:00Bill Simmons?

  He talks Gregory Hines into it and, uh, all of a sudden they're at the bank and you're just like, yeah, guys, why don't you just do this? Like, get out of the, get out of the Chicago life. I haven't seen a movie like this really ask that question.

• 19:14Chris Ryan?

  No.

• 19:14Bill Simmons?

  Like, why are we doing this?

• 19:17Bill Simmons?

  Why am I putting my life on the line for this asshole detective?

• 19:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 19:20Bill Simmons?

  For barely any money? I'm gonna get replaced by these two younger cops that are, you know, just gonna take my spot? Like, what's the point?

• 19:28Chris Ryan?

  I think that if they had just stayed in Key West, this is like one of my 10 favorite movies.

• 19:35Bill Simmons?

  And they open a bar and then Gonzalez comes down and it becomes like he sends guys to torture them?

• 19:40Chris Ryan?

  Keys into my like major cocaine highway? That would have been awesome. Yeah. It's basically like, it is cocktail and for like five minutes in this movie and then you're like, I just want them to stay here and hang out.

• 19:51Bill Simmons?

  Right. When Cruz, when Flanagan's in Jamaica.

• 19:55Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 19:56Bill Simmons?

  And it's just like this one part of the movie, but it's the best part of the movie. And it's also the part of the movie where you're like, this could have just been the movie.

• 20:04Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 20:04Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if we needed the before or after. Obviously we did.

• 20:07Chris Ryan?

  Shout out to this movie film though, for the most part, I think the most used location in this film is that bar in Chicago that they're in.

• 20:15Bill Simmons?

  Which I feel like I've seen in 40 other Chicago movies.

• 20:17Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. And it's like, all these things that are very like old bar, like hot peanuts and, you know, everybody's drinking like on tap.

• 20:25Bill Simmons?

  There's like a framed Cubs, like shiny helmet poster. Um, let's, let's take a break and then I want to talk about Chicago mid 80s movies.

• 20:42Speaker 06

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• 21:12Chris Ryan?

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• 21:13Speaker 04

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• 21:15Chris Ryan?

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• 21:26Bill Simmons?

  All right, so we've done this before, but I, it's too important not to do again. This crazy run Chicago has in the mid eighties with movies, which came a lot from like, I think, the mayor and they're trying to like, get people to film there and make money from there. But just in the mid eighties, About Last Night, Running Scared, Code of Silence with Chuck Norris, a movie that I support. And the moment you text me and like, let's do Code of Silence, I'm in. Ferris Bueller, would you count Uncle Buck?

• 21:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I would count the Hughes.

• 21:56Bill Simmons?

  All the Hughes movies, they're like suburbans.

• 21:58Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 21:58Bill Simmons?

  But Ferris definitely, Adventures of Babysitting, Color of Money.

• 22:01Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 22:02Bill Simmons?

  Above the Law with Segal.

• 22:04Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:05Bill Simmons?

  And The Untouchables.

• 22:06Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 22:06Bill Simmons?

  And there's like 50 more, but those are like the big ones. And they're all filming in and around Chicago for like four years.

• 22:12Chris Ryan?

  I would say, you could even say it starts with Thief in 81.

• 22:16Bill Simmons?

  Yep.

• 22:16Chris Ryan?

  And it goes to the fugitive.

• 22:18Bill Simmons?

  It starts with Blues Brothers.

• 22:19Chris Ryan?

  Blues Brothers, and it goes.

• 22:20Bill Simmons?

  And Thief.

• 22:20Chris Ryan?

  Blues Brothers and Thief, all the way through The Fugitive.

• 22:23Bill Simmons?

  It has this crazy, crazy, amazing pop culture decade in Chicago that that just goes away.

• 22:31Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 22:32Bill Simmons?

  It's not just the city, it's in the suburbs around it, risky businesses in there. It's all over the place, and I don't know what happens in the nineties.

• 22:39Chris Ryan?

  It just is a great architectural city.

• 22:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 22:42Chris Ryan?

  And it's so distinctive. And the best part about this movie is how they use Chicago as a playground. Like, there are shootouts and scenes in places where you're like, why are they at the convention center? You know, like, why are they at the Illinois State Capitol Government Center? But it looks extraordinary. Yeah, it's all the stuff with the L is awesome. Yeah.

• 23:02Bill Simmons?

  Chicago outside is that great, that overhanging subway where when there's shootouts, you kind of always know where you are in the city. I think Boston used to be like that. It's a little, because they got rid of some of the over.

• 23:14Chris Ryan?

  Some of the overground subways, yes.

• 23:16Bill Simmons?

  But it's pretty cool when you kind of know where you are. Uh, there's that great airport chase as well. So yeah, Chicago, Ferris probably still is the number one.

• 23:27Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 23:27Bill Simmons?

  For how he uses downtown Chicago. But I think About Last Night, Start to Finish is like an amazing Chicago movie.

• 23:33Chris Ryan?

  There's also something about the fact that they do it at winter, in winter in Chicago. Like, there's something very funny when those guys take their pants off and they're both wearing long johns. They brought in foam to like, make snow, because they clearly wanted to have winter in that city to, to be a huge character in this.

• 23:52Bill Simmons?

  We didn't do About Last Night. Why haven't we done that?

• 23:55Chris Ryan?

  I don't know.

• 23:57Bill Simmons?

  I went on Rob Lowe's podcast.

• 23:59Chris Ryan?

  Did you really?

• 23:59Bill Simmons?

  Slash show a couple of days ago to promote the yacht rock thing.

• 24:02Chris Ryan?

  Uh huh.

• 24:03Bill Simmons?

  It's not out yet. And I just like immediately turned on him. I just started asking about eighties movies and how About Last Night created rom coms.

• 24:10Chris Ryan?

  Was he wearing the NFL hat?

• 24:11Bill Simmons?

  No, he wasn't.

• 24:14Bill Simmons?

  But it's like About Last Night really did create the rom com.

• 24:16Chris Ryan?

  Proud of all those movies and stuff?

• 24:18Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah. I don't know if he's proud of Hotel New Hampshire.

• 24:22Bill Simmons?

  And I think there's maybe me, I might have taken that one back.

• 24:25Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 24:25Bill Simmons?

  But, uh, all right, couple other people in this movie.

• 24:29Chris Ryan?

  A couple?

• 24:30Bill Simmons?

  Joey Pants.

• 24:31Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, a snake.

• 24:33Bill Simmons?

  We named the that guy category after Joey Pants, but then there was like a backlash because he's definitely Joey Pants.

• 24:38Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 24:38Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. Maybe we have to come up with another name, but this is, uh, his eighties run of Midnight Run, Risky Business, Eddie and the Cruisers.

• 24:48Bill Simmons?

  And then eventually Fugitive and Bad Boys and he becomes Joe Panelliano at some point. I don't feel like in Running Scared, he's Joe Panelliano yet.

• 24:56Chris Ryan?

  He is.

• 24:56Bill Simmons?

  He's that guy who is Guido the Killer pimp.

• 24:58Chris Ryan?

  The all time eighties hood.

• 25:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 25:01Chris Ryan?

  Is like Snake wearing his like secondhand overcoat and his like red mohawk.

• 25:07Bill Simmons?

  With like some sort, yeah, some sort of color at the top. Were you excited to see Joey Pants, Craig?

• 25:11Speaker 07

  Always am. Love him. All time grimy dirtbag.

• 25:15Bill Simmons?

  Were you expecting it?

• 25:16Speaker 07

  Uh, I'm always expecting Joey Pants.

• 25:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I don't blame you. If it's in the eighties, you just have to assume he's coming. So he's great in this. I know you have some Darlan. Darlan Flugel, one of the worst names of any leading actress.

• 25:30Chris Ryan?

  As Anna?

• 25:31Bill Simmons?

  Darlan Flugel, but she was in Your Beloved To Live And Die In L.A.

• 25:35Chris Ryan?

  She sure was. Yeah.

• 25:36Bill Simmons?

  She was in this. She was in season one of Crime Story, the Michael Mann TV show, and then Everything Peaks and Lockup with Slash Stallone.

• 25:43Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 25:44Bill Simmons?

  But, uh, pretty short run for Darlan.

• 25:47Chris Ryan?

  But she, I mean, it's like she came, she came through the league and she set it on fire and then she just retired early. It's like Andrew Luck.

• 25:54Bill Simmons?

  She looks great.

• 25:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 25:56Bill Simmons?

  If her name is, if her name is Julia Roberts, is she in like 10 more years of movies?

• 26:00Chris Ryan?

  I think that she does not have like the screen presence of say Rebecca Dimorne. While I personally really find her very charming and.

• 26:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, she's charming, not like super.

• 26:11Chris Ryan?

  But she is not like magnetic where it's like, I have like a ton of like on screen charisma, you know?

• 26:18Bill Simmons?

  It's probably the run she should have had, but it's a really, it's a run that I appreciate and I have no idea how to say her name. The music video.

• 26:25Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 26:26Bill Simmons?

  Is a crucial part of this movie. It was on MTV all the time. Uh, Michael McDonald, I encourage people to watch it. Michael McDonald actually is in scenes. I think they flew him down there when they were filming the movie. He's in like Crystal Heinz stuff. Um, those guys are overselling it. And it's kind of when they learned how to market a movie with a music video right around here.

• 26:48Chris Ryan?

  This is a thing that definitely was, was a huge deal in the eighties. It goes all the way up through like Terminator two. Uh, where you have somehow like the movie bleeds into the music video, but it's unique to the music video footage. So in the music video for Sweet Freedom, Heinz and, and Crystal are like, oh, we got a postcard from Mike down in Key West. We gotta go visit him. It's like a whole other narrative. And yeah, you were, you were wanting to make the yacht rock connection. This is the first movie I thought of when you were like, we gotta do a yacht rock movie because it's like explicitly broadcasting. Like this is the vibe of this movie. It's a hangout and it's a party.

• 27:28Bill Simmons?

  I'm going to read our exact text chain as we were trying to figure out what to do with the rewatchables. And I texted you, uh, there's a lot of Embiid tweets.

• 27:44Chris Ryan?

  I think you were like, were we too hard on Embiid in the pod?

• 27:47Bill Simmons?

  Now that this is earlier.

• 27:48Chris Ryan?

  And then I sent you the, the tweet about Joel Embiid's doing a mole hunt.

• 27:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Well, he also texted me, I was Googling the long-term effects of Bell's palsy was the text from you. Um. So I texted, was trying to think of a good yacht rock movie because the doc comes out next week and you just texted back Running Scared with an exclamation point and my text back was, oh yeah.

• 28:12Chris Ryan?

  That was easy.

• 28:13Bill Simmons?

  And that was it.

• 28:13Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 28:14Bill Simmons?

  That was how we landed on this one. Um, directed by Peter Hyams.

• 28:18Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 28:19Bill Simmons?

  Written by Gary DeVore and Jimmy Huston. I don't know who did the music video. McDonald talked about after how he was super uncomfortable filming it and that that's a little bit of what our yacht rock doc is about is.

• 28:30Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 28:30Bill Simmons?

  Those guys were having a great run and then music videos when you have to look good and that and you have to be actors in videos and those guys were like, what?

• 28:37Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, those guys were session cats.

• 28:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they were.

• 28:39Chris Ryan?

  Music nerds.

• 28:40Bill Simmons?

  They wanted you to listen to their music.

• 28:42Speaker 07

  You feel the same way about pods going to video?

• 28:44Bill Simmons?

  Right. That was when we were trying to get you to be on video for the first time.

• 28:47Chris Ryan?

  No, man. It's all about the audio fidelity.

• 28:49Bill Simmons?

  You really are the Michael McDonald of pods. You're going from pod to pod.

• 28:52Chris Ryan?

  I wish, I should start like a Steely Dan type thing where I just keep firing Andy.

• 28:55Bill Simmons?

  Replacing with a session podcast.

• 28:59Chris Ryan?

  Session podder. No, agree with me more.

• 29:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. The budget, don't know what it was, no record of it, but it made 38.5 million. So I'm guessing it made money. It was the 26th biggest movie of 1986. You mailed me, um, or you texted me a list of, of movies from 86 that were all in the theater at the same time.

• 29:21Chris Ryan?

  This is the weekend that Running Scared came out.

• 29:23Bill Simmons?

  Go ahead, rattle it off.

• 29:24Chris Ryan?

  Okay. Number one, Karate Kid Part Two, top of the box.

• 29:28Bill Simmons?

  Saw in the theater.

• 29:29Chris Ryan?

  Back to School. Rodney Dangerfield.

• 29:32Bill Simmons?

  Uh, some of the funniest scenes of the eighties.

• 29:34Chris Ryan?

  Legal Eagles, so we get a little Daryl.

• 29:36Bill Simmons?

  I liked it.

• 29:36Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Ruthless People.

• 29:38Bill Simmons?

  Solid.

• 29:39Chris Ryan?

  Running Scared.

• 29:40Bill Simmons?

  Amazing.

• 29:41Chris Ryan?

  Top Gun after being out for however long.

• 29:43Bill Simmons?

  Re-released Top Gun, great.

• 29:44Chris Ryan?

  Uh, Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

• 29:46Bill Simmons?

  Awesome.

• 29:46Chris Ryan?

  Labyrinth. Bowie.

• 29:49Bill Simmons?

  Nah, I didn't like that one.

• 29:50Chris Ryan?

  American Anthem.

• 29:52Bill Simmons?

  Oh yeah, Mitch Gaylord.

• 29:54Chris Ryan?

  The gymnast?

• 29:55Bill Simmons?

  One of the six worst sports movies of all time. Janet Jones is in that.

• 29:59Chris Ryan?

  Really?

• 29:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. If we ever do worst sports movies ever month.

• 30:02Chris Ryan?

  American anthem.

• 30:03Bill Simmons?

  American anthem and Jim Carter are two of the four.

• 30:05Chris Ryan?

  I love you knowing that that's one of the six worst sports movies of all time.

• 30:09Bill Simmons?

  Absolutely one of the worst movies you've ever seen. They were trying to capitalize off his 1984 gold medal. So he's playing like, it's his name's like Mike Gason.

• 30:21Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 30:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I guess like his name's like barely different. And he's like a guy who's like, he, he could be, it's like basically a Tom Cruise part.

• 30:29Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 30:30Bill Simmons?

  His own worst enemy is himself, but he's got so much talent and his girlfriend believes in him and Janet Jones is the girlfriend. That's how she became Janet Jones. Anyway.

• 30:37Chris Ryan?

  American anthem, number 10 Cobra, number 11 Short Circuit. There are 11 movies in the box, like in the theaters that you would basically be like, I'll see that this weekend.

• 30:46Bill Simmons?

  So we've done four of those on the rewatchables and I don't know why we haven't done Back to School yet.

• 30:51Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 30:51Bill Simmons?

  I honestly don't know.

• 30:53Chris Ryan?

  I mean, I, I mean.

• 30:54Bill Simmons?

  You know Back to School, Craig? Rodney Dangerfield. He's a, it's a movie that would be, we actually should do it because it's about, he's this rich guy. Who decides to go back to college so he can get a degree. So he'll be taken more seriously and he just does offensive rich guy stuff for two hours.

• 31:11Chris Ryan?

  You were asking for Ringer Movies video ideas. First for Body Double, we came up with you start going to acting classes to fuck with people. You should go back to college.

• 31:20Bill Simmons?

  Set up murders. Yeah. If I go back and another masters.

• 31:23Chris Ryan?

  With Ben. That'd be great. I'll go with them. We could room together.

• 31:27Bill Simmons?

  We're starting to think about colleges next summer, next spring. Uh, Roger Ebert, three stars.

• 31:33Chris Ryan?

  He liked it.

• 31:35Bill Simmons?

  Running scared is yet another movie about street smart cops who are best buddies, wisecracking their way through one hair raising situation after another. I just want to pause there. Settle down Raj. There was only like three of those. I don't, I, it wasn't like there was a slew of these coming out.

• 31:50Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 31:50Bill Simmons?

  And by the way, more should have come out. So settle down, Raj. This genre is so overpopulated, again, settle down. It hardly seems like we need one more example, and yet Running Scare transcends its dreary roots. It turns out to be a lot of fun. Most of the fun comes from Heinz, Crystal, etc.

• 32:08Chris Ryan?

  In his review for The Times, I think Vincent Canby says the same thing much more negatively, and I think was referencing the fact that there was a ton of this stuff on TV, too. So he's like, you'd be better served staying home and watching Cagney and Lacey or Miami Vice.

• 32:23Bill Simmons?

  So maybe that was the issue, is that people were ripping off 48 Hours with TV shows, and that's what people were not responding to. All right, today's most rewatchable scene brought to you by The Home Depot. Spread more joy with The Home Depot's giant holiday decor and make your home something that people want to see again and again and again.

• 32:43Bill Simmons?

  It's almost time to buy the Christmas tree, Chris.

• 32:45Chris Ryan?

  I'm gonna go do it today.

• 32:47Bill Simmons?

  At The Home Depot, there's a huge choice of lights, trees, and decorations, of course. But you can go really big with larger-than-life decor. Maybe that's a tree you can put together in a few clicks, like the Grand Duchess, or an eight-foot towering Santa with posable arms and a flame-effect lantern. Can't believe they haven't sent this to me, Craig.

• 33:06Chris Ryan?

  I'll get on it.

• 33:07Bill Simmons?

  Come on, The Home Depot. Or an eight-and-a-half-foot towering reindeer with illuminated flashing bells. I would have that, too. The Home Depot for a real blockbuster holiday season. All right, rewatchable scenes. I mean, this movie starts with a pickup basketball scene where people get punched, and then there's a chase. What else do we want?

• 33:26Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 33:26Bill Simmons?

  What else do we want? We get no autopsy, no foul? I think Billy Crystal created that. He sees a Mercedes in a bad neighborhood, he goes, Mercedes is a probable cause. Good line. We get a chase scene with Snake, Joe Panelliano, who's carrying 50K. And then we get, uh, we just have to have Craig play this whole thing. Crystal, it's like, they do the move, this is one of my favorite action movie comedy moves of, this guy has something, and instead of us bringing him in...

• 33:53Chris Ryan?

  We're gonna get him in more trouble.

• 33:54Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we're gonna leave him, hang him out to dry in the neighborhood, and he basically tells everyone, hey, this guy's $50,000.

• 34:00Speaker 05

  This block is being designated a neighborhood-wide... It'll make him crazy. And there's a guy up here named Snake. He's wearing garage sale clothes and the top of his hair looks like a parakeet. He also has fifty thousand dollars in small bills in a briefcase. As his neighbors, it's your responsibility to make sure there are no suspicious characters or evil perpetrators lurking in the area who would seek to do him harm. Again, fifty thousand dollars in small bills, tax-free, in a briefcase, right in this apartment.

• 34:35Chris Ryan?

  I cannot leave this podcast without asking you this question.

• 34:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 34:38Chris Ryan?

  What's the coldest weather you've ever played pickup in?

• 34:45Chris Ryan?

  He's taking it so seriously.

• 34:48Bill Simmons?

  I really appreciate the question.

• 34:50Chris Ryan?

  What's, it's like, what's your stance on fluoride in drinking water? It feels like.

• 34:57Bill Simmons?

  So pickup?

• 34:59Chris Ryan?

  Outdoor pickup, shooting around, shooting buck.

• 35:02Bill Simmons?

  I don't think this cold. I think shooting by myself, definitely this cold.

• 35:05Chris Ryan?

  Do you know how much these guys fucking love basketball?

• 35:08Bill Simmons?

  You'd be out there in twenty-eight degree weather?

• 35:10Chris Ryan?

  In Chicago in the winter to be shooting hoops?

• 35:14Bill Simmons?

  My issue is that is there's no way the court wouldn't have like ice patches and like terrible things that could happen.

• 35:19Chris Ryan?

  Do you think this is just the power of, of, would this be rookie Michael Jordan?

• 35:24Bill Simmons?

  Second year Michael Jordan.

• 35:25Chris Ryan?

  And he's just sweeping Chicago with basketball fever that they're keeping warm with the, with Air Jordans?

• 35:31Bill Simmons?

  This might honestly be Apex Mountain for Chicago. They're filming all these movies and Jordan's about to be like a rocket ship.

• 35:37Chris Ryan?

  And, and Crystal and Hines are basically spending the entire time promoting the Sox and the Cubs.

• 35:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 35:45Bill Simmons?

  This is a great scene. Also, I like for a short scene, Snake and the police lineup next to the four cops. That's him, that's the one. Uh, Snake gets killed. Tough one.

• 35:55Chris Ryan?

  That's, that, that's where the movie kind of takes this weird turn where I'm like, oh, I guess we're gonna shoot each other in the head with Uzis.

• 36:00Bill Simmons?

  It's like, oh, this is rated R. Okay. We've, he makes a Colombian necktie reference too. The entire Key West sequence, which I, I can't believe how many categories this swept. I'm just gonna all do them now.

• 36:14Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 36:15Bill Simmons?

  The Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness Award for Best Needle Drop.

• 36:18Chris Ryan?

  Duh.

• 36:19Bill Simmons?

  Great Shot Gordo Award for Most Cinematic Shot, The Sunset?

• 36:22Chris Ryan?

  Oh, I guess so.

• 36:23Bill Simmons?

  I mean, you go like multiple.

• 36:24Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. I mean, what about Great Shot Gordo for the matching tits t-shirts that they're?

• 36:28Bill Simmons?

  I mean, you can do that. I had that for Fortune Three Clap Award for Most Giftable Moment. Dennis Thieves, Benihana, scene stealing location, Key West?

• 36:37Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I had the Illinois State Building, but, but yes.

• 36:43Bill Simmons?

  It starts out with, we're watching the sunset with like the most gorgeous blonde possible.

• 36:47Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 36:48Bill Simmons?

  And Hines and Crystal, just unspoken, now this one's for you. And Hines, they do like a little switch. But then later, two white girls on the boat, which was a big deal in that. Yeah, I, by the way, I should mention Van Lathan, we always said we would do this with him. He's devastated.

• 37:05Chris Ryan?

  He is, it's.

• 37:05Bill Simmons?

  He should be here. He's in New York City this week. We, we realized we want to do this for the yacht rock doc and, uh, and we don't have Van. I think Van would have had a lot of thoughts.

• 37:14Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 37:15Bill Simmons?

  But yeah, I don't, I don't remember seeing that, you know, in a movie like this. First of all, Gregory Hines getting laid, which I had for Woodstage the best, because they were always careful with that.

• 37:24Chris Ryan?

  Multiple times, yeah.

• 37:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he's just all types of women for, for Greg in this one. But we have them on the Honda Elite scooters.

• 37:31Chris Ryan?

  With the quick cut, every time it cuts, they have different girls on the back of the scooter.

• 37:35Bill Simmons?

  Little known fact, those Honda Elite scooters, the exact one that I crashed 40 miles an hour and almost died. Yeah.

• 37:40Chris Ryan?

  Did you, so what did, what injuries did you walk away with?

• 37:43Bill Simmons?

  A lot.

• 37:44Chris Ryan?

  Really?

• 37:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 37:44Chris Ryan?

  Oh.

• 37:45Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. It's fine. I'm here now. Uh, the boobs t-shirts and the roller skates.

• 37:49Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 37:51Bill Simmons?

  Danny talks Ray into buying a bar. I feel like it would be this easy for you.

• 37:56Chris Ryan?

  For like you just, if you were just like, you want to buy a bar?

• 37:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, like we were just next to a bar that had a lease and I was like, should we buy this?

• 38:03Chris Ryan?

  I think about this three times a week.

• 38:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 38:04Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 38:06Bill Simmons?

  Promise me we will get robbed a lot.

• 38:10Bill Simmons?

  Roller skating out of the bank.

• 38:11Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 38:12Bill Simmons?

  Every piece of this, I think it's, it's one of the most perfect four minutes of the eighties.

• 38:16Chris Ryan?

  There are three things that you've already forgotten. Gregory Hines is Walter Pate in Jersey.

• 38:19Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 38:20Chris Ryan?

  Jacked Crystal.

• 38:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 38:22Chris Ryan?

  Like completely jacked.

• 38:23Bill Simmons?

  Six pack Crystal.

• 38:24Chris Ryan?

  And the fact that these guys never seem to hook up with women alone. They're always having kind of like a group sex situation.

• 38:31Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 38:32Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 38:32Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Did this movie create swinging?

• 38:36Bill Simmons?

  Important question. Is it time to retire the Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness Award and rename it the Michael McDonald Sweet Freedom Award?

• 38:44Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 38:45Bill Simmons?

  What do you think, Craig?

• 38:45Speaker 07

  My generation says, hell, no.

• 38:47Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 38:48Bill Simmons?

  Oh, well, we do have to appeal to the younger kids.

• 38:50Chris Ryan?

  That's right, the zoomers.

• 38:51Speaker 07

  The kids love Kid Cudi.

• 38:52Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 38:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, all right, fine. The little kid leading them to Gonzalez, I like that scene.

• 38:58Chris Ryan?

  I like the whole, the apartment building shootout is awesome.

• 39:00Bill Simmons?

  Abloh, Smith, and Wesson?

• 39:03Speaker 04

  Put your guns down, you're under arrest. No, I'm English. Oh, Abloh, Smith, and Wesson? You have the right to remain dead. Anything you do will be used against you. You have the right to a coroner. If you cannot afford one, we will appoint a medical examiner for you.

• 39:29Bill Simmons?

  You have the right to a coroner. Krista's got great lines in this movie.

• 39:33Chris Ryan?

  If you can't afford one, we'll get you a medical examiner.

• 39:35Bill Simmons?

  Really good, really good stairway chase scene, throwing the pants.

• 39:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 39:39Bill Simmons?

  I enjoy that. We have an airport chase scene where this movie becomes Ronin for like three minutes?

• 39:44Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. The second half of this movie, it feels much longer than the first half.

• 39:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:50Chris Ryan?

  Just because of the amount of chase sequence after chase sequence after chase sequence.

• 39:55Bill Simmons?

  I like driving on the train tracks. I like when Gonzalez lifts the cab up and it seems like they're gonna get crushed to death. And then the ending. We eat the double elevator.

• 40:04Chris Ryan?

  Awesome.

• 40:05Bill Simmons?

  Julio, you want your coke? Come and get it. My coke! My coke!

• 40:09Speaker 05

  There's your coke! Yeah! No! My coke! My coke! Come on, come and get it! You're my coke! There you go.

• 40:23Bill Simmons?

  My coke! I got him, no, I got him. Uh, good ending. All right, so we don't even need to negotiate this one.

• 40:29Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 40:30Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, what are we doing? Uh, that was today's most rewatchable scene brought to you by The Home Depot. Spread more joy this holiday season, really go big with The Home Depot's giant large and life holiday decor. Shop now in store online at homedepot.com.

• 40:42Chris Ryan?

  You need to get an eight-foot Jimmy Smits who screams, "My coke!", outside of your house.

• 40:48Bill Simmons?

  What's the most 1986 thing about this movie? Jimmy Smits is a bad guy.

• 40:54Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:56Bill Simmons?

  The song Sweet Freedom by Michael McDonald.

• 40:58Chris Ryan?

  Pretty close.

• 40:59Bill Simmons?

  Being shoehorned in in a great way. The Walter Payton jersey that you mentioned. This is also the year the Bears won the Super Bowl. See, this was Apex Mountain for Chicago.

• 41:07Chris Ryan?

  We don't even skip Apex.

• 41:08Bill Simmons?

  Eighty-five Bears, Jordan, a million movies being filmed in there. What else that we want?

• 41:14Chris Ryan?

  Uh, we also have, um.

• 41:16Bill Simmons?

  The eighty, the nineteen eighty-three White Sox cap.

• 41:18Chris Ryan?

  Awesome hat.

• 41:19Bill Simmons?

  Which is like a specific, like, cool-looking White Sox cap. Darlene Flugel feels very nineteen eighty-six to me. Joey Pants with hair.

• 41:29Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 41:30Bill Simmons?

  And the Honda Elite scooters.

• 41:31Chris Ryan?

  What about, um, the, just the preponderance of roller skating as a mode of transportation?

• 41:37Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 41:37Chris Ryan?

  And something that people, like, did all the time for fun.

• 41:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, now those would be those, like, stupid blue bikes that Craig drives around. Drive those?

• 41:45Speaker 07

  The blue bikes?

• 41:46Bill Simmons?

  Those E-blue bikes, whatever those little.

• 41:49Speaker 07

  The thing, are those in New York more than they are in LA?

• 41:51Bill Simmons?

  No, they're in LA.

• 41:51Chris Ryan?

  Do you ride rented bikes around?

• 41:53Bill Simmons?

  No, he's a big blue bike guy.

• 41:55Speaker 07

  Yeah, I love them. I play pods out loud.

• 42:00Bill Simmons?

  I actually think the most eighty-six thing is the, uh, the Honda Elites. Cause remember there was a big ad campaign that year for those? And it just feels like a very era-specific, like, you never see them anymore. I guess they've turned into the blue bikes.

• 42:12Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I think we, I would love to have, like, a scooter revolution in, in this country. Not the Lime scooters where they just leave them outside your house, but like the actual, like, I have a scooter. This is how I get around town.

• 42:25Bill Simmons?

  Those things would go like fifty-five.

• 42:27Chris Ryan?

  Well, you've tested those limits.

• 42:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I used to take it on the highway with no helmet.

• 42:31Chris Ryan?

  Where did you get in your accident?

• 42:32Bill Simmons?

  On side street.

• 42:33Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 42:34Bill Simmons?

  But.

• 42:34Chris Ryan?

  And what happened? You took a back, like, a turn too fast or what?

• 42:37Bill Simmons?

  Old lady cut in front of me.

• 42:38Chris Ryan?

  Oh.

• 42:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, who died in natural causes six months later.

• 42:41Chris Ryan?

  Right then? Okay.

• 42:42Bill Simmons?

  That's great. That has not aged the best. What's aged the best? Ray Hughes and Danny Costanzo.

• 42:50Chris Ryan?

  Is there, this is literally what I have written down. Is there any more like absolutely archetypal cop names?

• 42:56Bill Simmons?

  Danny Costanzo is really sorry. A bad guy in Chicago wanting to be the next Al Capone? I miss it.

• 43:02Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:03Bill Simmons?

  Al Capone, I don't feel like-

• 43:05Chris Ryan?

  He's trying to like make himself like more presentable by like where he's moving and his business ties, yeah.

• 43:10Bill Simmons?

  People still knew who Al Capone was. You know who Al Capone is, Craig?

• 43:13Speaker 07

  Uh, yeah, I'm aware.

• 43:14Bill Simmons?

  It's like 100 years old at this point.

• 43:16Chris Ryan?

  He invented blue bikes.

• 43:18Bill Simmons?

  What else do you have?

• 43:20Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I have Dan Hedaya slash Angry Lieutenants.

• 43:25Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 43:25Chris Ryan?

  Just, I don't, I don't feel, I feel like we, cause it became such a trope and a cliche, we've moved away from the Angry Lieutenant.

• 43:32Bill Simmons?

  No, but it started, it was 70s TV.

• 43:34Chris Ryan?

  It was Inspector Todd.

• 43:36Bill Simmons?

  48 Hours, Inspector Todd, and then it became, it became like a joke to have an Angry Lieutenant.

• 43:40Chris Ryan?

  I wish you would kinda sometimes get a little Inspector Todd with me and be like, Ryan, get in my fucking office! Like, you know, just for no reason, just hang out.

• 43:48Bill Simmons?

  The hell is going on in the watch? Why are you talking about disclaimer? That show sucks!

• 43:54Chris Ryan?

  The commissioner chewed my ass out, the mayor chewed his ass out, and now I'm chewing your ass out.

• 43:59Bill Simmons?

  I got Daniel Ek on the phone wondering why we're talking about Apple shows. Get the fuck out of my office!

• 44:08Bill Simmons?

  What's age the best?

• 44:09Chris Ryan?

  That's right, Bill. I work up on the edge.

• 44:12Bill Simmons?

  That's right, I like Apple shows.

• 44:15Chris Ryan?

  Presumed Innocent was really good.

• 44:18Bill Simmons?

  John, I hope there's a season two, fuck you! Uh, a buddy cop movie that has rival buddy cops?

• 44:25Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 44:26Bill Simmons?

  Like, if we ever write an action movie, it's definitely the two guys, but there's two up and comers that give them shit constantly.

• 44:33Chris Ryan?

  Also, the part, that's clearly a part from the movie that they wrote for way older cops.

• 44:38Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 44:39Chris Ryan?

  Because Stephen Bauer and the other guy are the same age as Gregory Hines.

• 44:42Bill Simmons?

  Right, right. It's like they're up and comers.

• 44:44Chris Ryan?

  But they're like, oh, these young bucks that we have to show, but like, yeah.

• 44:48Bill Simmons?

  Speaking of Stephen Bauer.

• 44:50Chris Ryan?

  Everything that guy fucking wears and says and does in this movie is amazing.

• 44:54Bill Simmons?

  I wrote, mid 80s Stephen Bauer, you can smell the cocaine coming off him.

• 44:59Chris Ryan?

  No, was he clean by this point? Wasn't that the whole body double thing?

• 45:03Bill Simmons?

  Whatever he's going for in this.

• 45:05Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 45:05Bill Simmons?

  He's, he looks like Dirk Diggler when he's going to that guy's house.

• 45:10Chris Ryan?

  There's one scene where he's got like an overcoat over his vest over like a flannel shirt. Like, I love the Chicago layering.

• 45:17Bill Simmons?

  The crazy beard. He looks like he hasn't showered in a month. Amazing job by him. This nice little old Stephen Bauer run. Scarface, Thief of Hearts, this movie.

• 45:25Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 45:26Bill Simmons?

  Nice little run.

• 45:29Bill Simmons?

  Here's one for you specifically. The bad guy in the movie who does something horrible and then ends up right back on the streets, followed by the cops going, "He's back out in the streets."

• 45:39Chris Ryan?

  I have that.

• 45:40Bill Simmons?

  Does this happen in real life?

• 45:41Chris Ryan?

  No, I have that for What's Aged The Worst.

• 45:44Bill Simmons?

  But it has to, it's an essential for an action movie.

• 45:47Chris Ryan?

  What do you mean? The witness recanted their statement.

• 45:49Bill Simmons?

  How is he out?

• 45:50Chris Ryan?

  This guy fucking kills another person with an Uzi right in front of these guys.

• 45:55Bill Simmons?

  In front of four cops.

• 45:56Chris Ryan?

  And they're like, "We can't make it stick." I'm like, swear it out, David. What is wrong with this?

• 46:00Bill Simmons?

  It's a picking it. It's a What's Aged The Worst. It's also What's Aged The Best, because I feel like it's a staple of all of these movies.

• 46:05Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 46:06Bill Simmons?

  You can't keep a bad guy in jail. He's just gonna get out.

• 46:10Chris Ryan?

  I also have What's Aged The Best. This never happens anymore, but it was one of my favorite things is characters in movies and TV, but also in real life, just like barging into someone's house uninvited. Like, every time Crystal goes into Gregory Hines's apartment and turns on the police siren and stuff like that, kind of like boners just coming over to Mike's house on growing pains.

• 46:30Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 46:31Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I really.

• 46:32Bill Simmons?

  Well, unannounced stop bys in the eighties. We didn't have texts. We didn't have email.

• 46:35Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 46:36Bill Simmons?

  Nobody had cell phones. You just kind of drop by someone's house.

• 46:39Chris Ryan?

  And your friend was randomly in your kitchen looking in your, in your cabinets.

• 46:42Bill Simmons?

  They do that anymore, Craig?

• 46:45Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, they'll do that. When is the last time somebody randomly stopped by without letting you know? It was just like, I was. I have no memory of that in my life.

• 46:54Bill Simmons?

  Okay. I was walking home yesterday from getting a coffee and I stopped by my friend's Howard and Marnie's house because they live like five blocks.

• 47:02Chris Ryan?

  Did you text like I'm right outside?

• 47:03Bill Simmons?

  I just did an unannounced stop by, rang the door because I knew Marnie is a Steelers fan. I knew she was going to be home because the game was on in like 40 minutes. And she was delighted to see me. I mean, a great little five minute walk, had my coffee, I never came in, I just left. I was like, this is what the 80s were like.

• 47:17Chris Ryan?

  Now, did you?

• 47:18Bill Simmons?

  Just stop by and said hi to people.

• 47:20Chris Ryan?

  Do to her what you do to me where you're just like, here's all the reasons why the Steelers aren't a real Super Bowl candidate or like?

• 47:24Bill Simmons?

  No, I did. So she's like, no, it's the Browns, we're going to win, but I'm, I still want to watch. I'm like, be nervous. It's going to snow. It's Mike Tomlin. He's 0-7 on Thursday. It's like, dude, like you're going to be sweating this game up.

• 47:36Chris Ryan?

  I'm sure she was like, thanks for coming by, Bill.

• 47:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So, a dead bad guy coming down an escalator?

• 47:45Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 47:45Bill Simmons?

  Another one. Just mark that down for our movie.

• 47:48Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 47:49Bill Simmons?

  So like how the guy, the bumps, like, I just like it.

• 47:54Bill Simmons?

  Dan Hedaya saying, "You are the detectives. Go and detect."

• 48:01Bill Simmons?

  Young Jimmy Smits eventually became the President of the United States on West Wing.

• 48:04Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, Matt Santos.

• 48:08Bill Simmons?

  The big shootout, when he says, "Promise, promise you'll go without me to Florida." And he's like, "Okay, I do." And he's like, "You'd go without me?"

• 48:19Bill Simmons?

  I really like the poster.

• 48:22Bill Simmons?

  The show, that's my camera. That's the poster.

• 48:27Chris Ryan?

  Oh, right. Because of the graffiti on the?

• 48:30Bill Simmons?

  And notice Gregory Hines in, to the left of Billy Crystal in the poster, running scared. "Two of Chicago's finest?" Question mark. Good poster.

• 48:40Chris Ryan?

  Uh, speaking of that poster and the car in it, I miss, lots of places used to do this, company cars, the carpool. And my dad used to, when he worked at the Inquirer, used to have one of five Chevy Cavaliers that you could just take.

• 48:58Bill Simmons?

  She would do it at the Ringer?

• 48:59Chris Ryan?

  I was kind of like?

• 49:00Bill Simmons?

  Just Jack Sanders taking out our Ringer Prius?

• 49:04Bill Simmons?

  Where is it? Oh, Jack had it two days ago.

• 49:06Chris Ryan?

  And then it comes back and it says, "Unmarked police car."

• 49:11Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna check with Daniel Ek. Cause I gotta, I gotta smooth out this Apple TV thing with him.

• 49:15Chris Ryan?

  Thanks. See if you can make, bridge, bridge the gap there.

• 49:18Bill Simmons?

  Any other What's Age the Best?

• 49:20Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I just had the derision people had for croissants back in the eighties and like.

• 49:24Bill Simmons?

  Oh yeah, I really missed that. Yeah.

• 49:25Chris Ryan?

  Uh, before like cafe culture really hit America. It was like croissants. You want a croissant?

• 49:31Bill Simmons?

  Our hatred for the French really gave me fuel in the eighties and I still try to keep it alive. The, the Big Kahuna Burger Award, best use of food and drink. Really strong birthday cake? That's all I got.

• 49:41Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Uh, I mean, all of the like, just draft Pilsner that they drink, I think is probably up there. And I bet they had some pretty good seafood in Key West. They, they pour right out of the ocean, the lobster and the squid.

• 49:53Bill Simmons?

  I forgot to mention the What's Age the Best.

• 49:54Chris Ryan?

  Oh, also the lunch that the girls serve on the boat, on the boat. When they're like lunch and it's like margaritas and shit.

• 50:00Bill Simmons?

  That, that's the winner.

• 50:01Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 50:02Bill Simmons?

  I forgot to mention in What's Age the Best, something about Chicago bars look great in movies.

• 50:07Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 50:08Bill Simmons?

  And the best one is the About Last Night bar.

• 50:11Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 50:11Bill Simmons?

  I, I think that might be that one and, uh,

• 50:15Bill Simmons?

  what was that bar that we said it was used in The Godfather? It was used, the verdict used it and pretended it was in Boston.

• 50:21Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, it was New York. It's a New York bar in the Lower East Side in Alphabet City or something like that. But it, it was in, it's, it's been used in a bunch of movies, no matter where they are.

• 50:29Bill Simmons?

  This, this bar in this movie is a really strong one.

• 50:31Chris Ryan?

  It's, yeah, I don't know if they shot this on a soundstage or what, but like, I love the fact that these guys use this bar as their living room.

• 50:37Bill Simmons?

  Really good bar in Copland.

• 50:39Chris Ryan?

  Oh, incredible bar.

• 50:40Bill Simmons?

  Back room.

• 50:41Chris Ryan?

  Leota and East Falcon.

• 50:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Cheers, probably the, my favorite bar with the, the square in the middle with the, I like when the bartenders are in the middle.

• 50:51Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 50:51Bill Simmons?

  And they can kind of move around.

• 50:52Chris Ryan?

  Did Cheers have TVs?

• 50:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they had two. They were over in the corner over, when you going back to play pool, it was over.

• 50:58Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 50:59Bill Simmons?

  They would watch like, they, they were watching a hockey game in one episode and Diane changed it to the opera.

• 51:03Chris Ryan?

  Oh, I remember that.

• 51:04Bill Simmons?

  Big episode. The Butch's Girlfriend Award, weak link of the film. I really like this film. Do you have a weak link? Cause I have one.

• 51:14Chris Ryan?

  I just don't think that Danny and Anna have such magnetic chemistry that it would explain her, like loving him so much that she like can't be with him than leaving her dentist hus- like fiance to go back with him.

• 51:28Bill Simmons?

  It's fair. I, there's a deleted scene that explains it though.

• 51:31Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 51:32Bill Simmons?

  Huge cock.

• 51:35Bill Simmons?

  Like tripod level.

• 51:36Chris Ryan?

  Where, where do we see it?

• 51:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's in YouTube. No, I don't know. I felt the same way. I don't know. I don't know what's going on there.

• 51:44Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 51:44Bill Simmons?

  There's like a scene missing. Where there, we don't know why they broke up. They seem like they still really like each other. She kinda does a passing reference to you care about your job more than a relationship and that.

• 51:56Chris Ryan?

  And then when he's like, I'm moving to Florida, she's just like, I'm back in, obviously. Yeah.

• 52:02Bill Simmons?

  It's a strong weak link, but I think mine is better.

• 52:04Chris Ryan?

  Let's hear it.

• 52:06Bill Simmons?

  Billy Crystal in Running Scared is playing an Italian Chicago cop named Danny Costanzo.

• 52:12Chris Ryan?

  It's really difficult. I think he also crosses himself at one point. Yeah.

• 52:20Bill Simmons?

  I'm a half Italian on behalf of at least a half Italians. I think they could have.

• 52:23Chris Ryan?

  A lot of people out there doubting your credentials.

• 52:25Bill Simmons?

  Well, they go, they go to.

• 52:27Chris Ryan?

  Cause of the gaba ghoul.

• 52:28Bill Simmons?

  Gaba ghoul. People are talking about me in the streets. Oh, the gaba ghoul. We never, I never, I never heard it called that.

• 52:35Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 52:37Bill Simmons?

  Gaba ghoul. Gaba ghoul.

• 52:38Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 52:39Bill Simmons?

  I just screwed it up. I'm old.

• 52:40Chris Ryan?

  I'm just saying.

• 52:42Bill Simmons?

  Why not make him a half Italian, half Jewish?

• 52:45Chris Ryan?

  I think it would have been fine. It just seems like they, they were just like, this is what the script says. And it was, he wasn't yet at like the Billy Crystal level of like, okay, here's my character.

• 52:54Bill Simmons?

  Billy Crystal, one of the more openly this guy seems Jewish famous actors we've had. Wouldn't you agree?

• 53:01Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 53:02Bill Simmons?

  Like him just being like, now I'm going to be Italian in this. I was like, I just, just make him half and half. What?

• 53:08Chris Ryan?

  This guy must be Jewish acting Mount Rushmore.

• 53:11Bill Simmons?

  I mean, he's leaned into it. A bunch of movies and TV shows, right? It just felt like, I didn't know why they did it. Why not just change his name? Or why, why not have him make a joke about, oh, the Italian side of my family. I gotta do that.

• 53:25Chris Ryan?

  Dan Rosie side.

• 53:26Bill Simmons?

  Something. Instead he's like, I'm Danny Costanzo. Hey, oh. Like Seagal, they did this too, where he played a super Italian, one of, one of the Seagal movies.

• 53:34Chris Ryan?

  I mean, it's just weird enough seeing him wearing all that Cubs shit. Cause you know, he's like a huge Yankees fan, right?

• 53:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that, that's how desperate he was to be in the movie. What's age the worst? I mean, number one, so Paul Walker.

• 53:47Bill Simmons?

  May he rest in peace. I love Paul Walker, but he made a movie in 2006 called Running Scared. And it's really caused a lot of confusion on cable, on streamers. When you, when you Google this movie.

• 53:58Chris Ryan?

  A hundred percent people are gonna be like, when we announce we're doing Running Scared.

• 54:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we're gonna have to put the year. We're gonna put Running Scared 1986 in the title of the pod.

• 54:06Chris Ryan?

  That happened with Bad Boys.

• 54:08Bill Simmons?

  But Running Scared 2006 is not a good movie, and I like Paul Walker.

• 54:12Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 54:12Bill Simmons?

  But it's not. And I just don't know why they named it Running Scared. Running Scared was successful enough that you can't just be like, we'll name it Running Scared. Like when Heat became Heat, and they were like, well, there was a Burt Reynolds movie called Heat eight years earlier. And Michael Mann was like, well, fuck that. The movie's terrible. We're calling it Heat. And that was fine, because Heat was terrible, but this is different. Bugs me. What do you got?

• 54:36Chris Ryan?

  Uh, you just, Uzis? Do they even make those anymore? Like, everybody's got an Uzi in this movie. That was a huge 80s thing.

• 54:45Bill Simmons?

  And then Uzis went away.

• 54:47Chris Ryan?

  I don't even know, but like, they don't show up in movies anymore, for sure. Like, there's no Uzis in John Wick. Are there?

• 54:54Bill Simmons?

  Craig?

• 54:55Speaker 07

  I don't think there are Uzis anymore.

• 54:57Bill Simmons?

  And maybe Uzis just...

• 54:59Chris Ryan?

  Went out of fashion?

• 54:59Speaker 07

  I'm sure they exist.

• 55:00Chris Ryan?

  They're probably hard to conceal, I would imagine.

• 55:03Bill Simmons?

  Maybe, maybe Uzis come back?

• 55:05Speaker 07

  Like, I think they're just very inaccurate guns.

• 55:06Chris Ryan?

  The, uh, the basically constant police, uh, brutality, harassment, you know, skirting the rules, all that stuff.

• 55:14Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's just the 80s. You know that's gonna be in there. Wait, do you think Uzis could come back, like vinyl?

• 55:19Chris Ryan?

  Oh, like, maybe Craig's generation reclaims it as like a collector's?

• 55:22Speaker 07

  Physical, physical media. Yeah. Physical media, Uzis.

• 55:26Chris Ryan?

  So instead of DVDs, Sean starts collecting Uzis.

• 55:31Bill Simmons?

  He's like, yeah, this is great 87 Uzi. What else do you have?

• 55:35Chris Ryan?

  Um, Billy Crystal's scarf move that he pulls like three times where he flips the scarf. It doesn't seem like a very Danny Castanza thing to do. It seemed like a, a crystal bit that he wanted. Um, and I just also think, uh, you just don't really see a lot of guys walking in when their friend is having sex and then like flopping down on the bed and being like, once in breakfast. I mean... Also Gregory Hines couldn't be more comfortable with the fact that Billy Crystal just interrupted

• 56:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 56:02Chris Ryan?

  Coitus. He's like, well, okay, we gotta go.

• 56:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he might have finished like 10 minutes earlier. He was okay with it. Forgot to mention during the Crystal part, cuz I knew Crystal from Soap, cuz Soap was a great show. And he played a gay character in Soap, which was a big deal cuz there was no gay characters on TV. He played Jody.

• 56:18Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 56:20Bill Simmons?

  And it felt like it was gonna like pigeonhole him a little because it was so unusual for somebody to play a gay character. It was like, oh, the gay guy from Soap. And then he eventually started doing comedy, but then SNL, he broke out of it. And then this movie, I think, really shed, oh, it's that guy from Soap who's on SNL. And it just was like surprising to see him in a movie like this, and then he pulled it off. It was really good.

• 56:45Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. The only other thing that I think ages the worst is just the like, the way that the scenes at the second half of the film or the last hour are a little bit repetitive with Julio, like.

• 56:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you could have cut out one of them.

• 56:56Chris Ryan?

  He kidnaps Anna, that it's like, oh, yeah, now there's some stakes.

• 57:00Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I would have said for what ages are worse, we probably could have cut about seven minutes.

• 57:04Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 57:04Bill Simmons?

  According to the Horbeck rule.

• 57:05Chris Ryan?

  The airport sequence is long.

• 57:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 57:07Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 57:08Bill Simmons?

  I have, the overall soundtrack isn't good. McDonald carries it, but McDonald is like Jordan on the 86 Bulls. Everything else is bad.

• 57:16Chris Ryan?

  It's when like yacht rock kinda transitions to smooth R&B.

• 57:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 57:20Chris Ryan?

  And there's like, I think it's like that 80s kind of like, kind of adult contemporary, but also clubbier sound that is just a little bit.

• 57:27Bill Simmons?

  Kinda just loud and overtly happy and synths and like that opening theme song, it's just bad.

• 57:34Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 57:34Bill Simmons?

  They're showing Chicago and it's like the worst possible song, but this was happening over and over again.

• 57:39Chris Ryan?

  I wonder if it would have been better if they had just gone full Faltermeyer and gotten.

• 57:43Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 57:44Chris Ryan?

  You know, a really good synth soundtrack.

• 57:46Bill Simmons?

  Or gone like just full yacht rock.

• 57:48Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 57:48Bill Simmons?

  Like they could have just grabbed a bunch of them. I guess they didn't know what yacht rock was yet. The snow looks fake in some of the scenes.

• 57:54Chris Ryan?

  It is fake in some of the scenes.

• 57:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I noticed. It just didn't have like, felt like they'd chipped out of that. This movie's rated R and I don't know why they didn't just earn the R. So I'm gonna bring out an old category we haven't had very, very many times. The Mallory Rubin Award for did this movie need a better sex scene?

• 58:10Chris Ryan?

  So just.

• 58:11Bill Simmons?

  Might have had Heinz maybe step in there for about 30 seconds. It's 1986. Come on, man. This is gonna be on cable for five years.

• 58:18Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 58:19Bill Simmons?

  Let's go.

• 58:19Chris Ryan?

  Or like at least like have some more like sex happening in the apartments that they bust into, right?

• 58:25Bill Simmons?

  Sure. Like that, just a random, uh, I mean, this was the era of like.

• 58:30Chris Ryan?

  Drug dealer having sex.

• 58:31Bill Simmons?

  There's a naked lady for no reason.

• 58:33Speaker 07

  I was waiting for the classic 80s gratuitous.

• 58:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, where was it?

• 58:36Chris Ryan?

  I'm kinda surprised that Anna is not, there's not like an Anna's just showering for two minutes for some reason.

• 58:41Speaker 07

  There's also, they flirt with it. There's that one moment where the woman has the, like the sheets over her.

• 58:45Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 58:46Speaker 07

  And they don't show anything. All the Key West stuff. It's like they, they never, I don't know why they don't get there.

• 58:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we didn't have like a nude beach scene?

• 58:52Chris Ryan?

  It's true.

• 58:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Craig, we've.

• 58:54Speaker 07

  You've reprogrammed me.

• 58:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we've groomed Craig to expect nudity.

• 59:01Bill Simmons?

  So a sequel titled Self-Running, or I'm sorry, a sequel titled Still Running was planned. Different scripts written and Crystal and Heinz just didn't think any of them were good enough. And turned all of them down, which brings me, um, a runner up hottest take for me is just, I just, as I said earlier, I felt like they leave, they left hundreds of millions on the table.

• 59:23Chris Ryan?

  Do you want me to do my, my hottest take now?

• 59:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, do it.

• 59:25Chris Ryan?

  Basically that. So my hottest take is that there's a world in which this is Lethal Weapon.

• 59:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I don't, I don't even think that's a hot take.

• 59:32Chris Ryan?

  So number one, Lethal Weapon came out, I think you could say at a, in a softer box office environment. It's still a lot of big ones, but.

• 59:39Bill Simmons?

  It's a year later, 87.

• 59:40Chris Ryan?

  Lethal Weapon comes out, it's number one movie in the country, Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Platoon, Angel Heart, Outrageous Fortune, Some Kind of Wonderful, Mannequin, Hoosiers, Black Widow, Crocodile Dundee, which had been out for a really while, a long time.

• 59:53Bill Simmons?

  Mannequin, that movie sucked.

• 59:54Chris Ryan?

  That's a much, that's a much better environment for Running Scared to be in.

• 59:58Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 59:58Chris Ryan?

  Released in. And then also, if they had just continued the vibe and picked and chose how they were gonna do it, the way Lethal Weapon was like, okay, obviously like Gibson and Glover have incredible chemistry. They're secretly super funny together. Let's just play that up and throw Pesci in there or whatever.

• 1:00:15Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:16Chris Ryan?

  Like that just makes so much more sense. For Running Scared to do that, if they're like, okay, like, we did the Julio Gonzalez plot. Let's make a much more like discernible crime plot, but just let these guys cook. And maybe you started in Florida.

• 1:00:30Bill Simmons?

  Danny finds out he's not Italian.

• 1:00:35Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, he takes the first 23 and me.

• 1:00:37Bill Simmons?

  He's like, wait, what? I would do Running Scared 2: One Last Job. Where now it's like, this is officially, they have to do this one crime in Chicago and then they're off to Key West.

• 1:00:47Chris Ryan?

  Oh, I see. I would flip it. I would have Running Scared 2 starts in Florida.

• 1:00:50Bill Simmons?

  No, that's Running Scared 3.

• 1:00:51Chris Ryan?

  Oh.

• 1:00:53Bill Simmons?

  Running Scared 2: One Last Job.

• 1:00:55Chris Ryan?

  Is back to the keys.

• 1:00:55Bill Simmons?

  Running Scared 3, we're in Key West, these guys don't want this life anymore. But some angry drug dealer from years past comes down to terrorize them.

• 1:01:03Chris Ryan?

  Running Scared 3: Kilo West.

• 1:01:04Bill Simmons?

  And you know what? Heinz probably dies in Running Scared 3.

• 1:01:08Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:08Bill Simmons?

  Or maybe he dies in Running Scared 4.

• 1:01:10Chris Ryan?

  Maybe we'll kill Glover.

• 1:01:11Bill Simmons?

  Or Heinz's wife dies. Somebody's wife or somebody, maybe Darlene Flugel dies. But what's crazy is they're like, yeah, we couldn't find a script that we liked. You and I could have come up with a script in three minutes. It's like, hey, go to Key West, open the bar, and then shit goes down.

• 1:01:25Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, it's really strange.

• 1:01:28Bill Simmons?

  Really makes me mad. My hottest take.

• 1:01:32Bill Simmons?

  And I really put some thought into this.

• 1:01:36Bill Simmons?

  This movie and Cocktail When He Goes to Jamaica. And the movie Hard Bodies on HBO. Were the three most aspirational location movies for me. Where I watched the movie and I was like, that place seems amazing. Because Hard Bodies was like Santa Monica, Malibu. It was like, oh my God, that looks awesome. Jamaica with Cruise was like, holy shit, what's going on there? That'd be amazing. Imagine just living there and then whatever Key West, whatever they made it look like in this movie, which I think it could have worked for whatever. And then Miami Vice would be the TV show version of that, where they would then show Miami, man, that place looks awesome.

• 1:02:13Chris Ryan?

  Have you ever gone on vacation with your wife or whatever, friends, and been like, I think I want to move here?

• 1:02:20Bill Simmons?

  I mean, like, every time I go on vacation? I never, the one place that's an aspirational place I've never been to is the Watanayo, just to do the Andy and Ray trip.

• 1:02:29Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:30Bill Simmons?

  It's a little more complicated to get there from LA than to think about it.

• 1:02:33Chris Ryan?

  It's like a long drive after you fly down.

• 1:02:35Bill Simmons?

  I think it's a little harder to find the exact spot, but I've, I've thought about it. But, um, but just as a kid living in the fucking east coast with bad weather and those guys go to Key West. And it's like, why do I live here? What am I doing?

• 1:02:47Chris Ryan?

  I know.

• 1:02:47Bill Simmons?

  So I eventually moved.

• 1:02:50Bill Simmons?

  The Ruffalo Hannah Ruben Partridge overacting where it's Hadea, but I think it has to be because that's the, he's the over screaming lieutenant. Would you go with somebody else?

• 1:03:00Chris Ryan?

  I had Julio screaming my coke and his death scene.

• 1:03:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you're right. It probably is.

• 1:03:06Bill Simmons?

  Was there a better title for this movie? I think there was. What is running scared? What does that even mean? Who's running scared in this movie? Nobody. Nobody's scared.

• 1:03:16Chris Ryan?

  What would the alternative be? Like what's your, what's your fix for that? Danny and Ray? You know, like what's like Turner Hooch?

• 1:03:23Bill Simmons?

  I've always can't believe there's not a movie called One Last Job.

• 1:03:28Bill Simmons?

  But I guess this movie isn't one last job.

• 1:03:29Chris Ryan?

  Oh, you know what? Maybe Short Time? Because it's like, I know that that is another name for another movie, but like, because the whole thing is like, they've got 30 days left before they go to Florida. Maybe they could do something with that.

• 1:03:41Bill Simmons?

  Short Time. I was thinking Chicago Heat.

• 1:03:48Bill Simmons?

  It's Chicago, but they really want the heat.

• 1:03:50Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:51Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. What, is there a title, Craig? It's tough.

• 1:03:55Chris Ryan?

  Bisexual buddies?

• 1:03:59Chris Ryan?

  They're definitely bisexual.

• 1:04:00Bill Simmons?

  Hobo, Hobo Rock Chicago cops?

• 1:04:04Chris Ryan?

  Guys pouring beer on each other while they're fishing?

• 1:04:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. We're doing that after the pod. I brought some beer.

• 1:04:12Bill Simmons?

  The Can You Dig It? A word for most memorable quote has to be you have the right to a coroner. That was really strong.

• 1:04:17Chris Ryan?

  I also, I also really like, excuse me, we're from noisebusters. Do you know where the Menudo concert is?

• 1:04:22Bill Simmons?

  It's good.

• 1:04:24Bill Simmons?

  Casting what ifs, you mentioned how they, it was supposed to be two old New York City cops. Allegedly it was Hackman and Newman in mind, but they never brought it to them. But then. According to the internets, Tom Selleck and John Travolta were gonna be the cops.

• 1:04:37Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, and Selleck did Magnum.

• 1:04:39Bill Simmons?

  Selleck was doing Magnum. Travolta's agent, Mike Ovitz, said, "I don't like it," turned it down. If you look at Travolta's career from 85 to 1993, it's amazing they turned this down. I can't imagine there was a better script.

• 1:04:53Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:53Bill Simmons?

  We saw some of the stuff he did, so. That's really all I could find. And Peter Hyams loved Darlan Flugel from To Live and Die in L.A. So you guys have something in common.

• 1:05:02Chris Ryan?

  God, I'll just, can I do five seconds on Hyams?

• 1:05:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:05Chris Ryan?

  So, if people are listening and they're interested in like buddy cop stuff, they should go check out this movie from 74 called Busting that he did with Elliot Gould and Robert Forster. It's really, really, really good. I think it's on Tubi.

• 1:05:18Bill Simmons?

  Oh, by the way, this movie's on Tubi.

• 1:05:19Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, this is the most Tubi'd ever.

• 1:05:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you go on Tubi, it's always in like the first two rows.

• 1:05:25Chris Ryan?

  And you'll have a lot of fun with the recommended if you like Running Scared.

• 1:05:29Bill Simmons?

  You hit Running Scared, you're gonna get 20 Rex.

• 1:05:32Chris Ryan?

  Thank you. Uh, yeah, he did, uh, 2010, the year we made Contact, which is like a kinda controversial sequel to 2001, but

• 1:05:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:41Chris Ryan?

  has started to become a little bit more beloved as the years go on. And it's just like, obviously like a very, very talented filmmaker. He shoots his own stuff. In some cases, he edits it too. And this movie looks fucking incredible. Like, when you watch the interiors of this movie, there's like a scene where Heinz is at the evidence locker to get the coke. And there's this shot where it's like all black below him and black above him, so he's almost letterboxed by the lighting, cuz it's just one overhead light. And I'm like, why is this 1986 movie look better than Gladiator 2? Like, it is really crazy.

• 1:06:17Bill Simmons?

  He did two movies that I really like. Capricorn One.

• 1:06:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:21Bill Simmons?

  Which

• 1:06:22Chris Ryan?

  I would do that with you.

• 1:06:22Bill Simmons?

  Finally, somebody was trying to tell us that the moon landing never happened. Finally, somebody had the balls to step forward.

• 1:06:29Chris Ryan?

  Uh huh.

• 1:06:30Bill Simmons?

  And that was before Kubrick made The Shining about the moon landing.

• 1:06:37Chris Ryan?

  China is one of my favorite pods we've done.

• 1:06:40Bill Simmons?

  And then sudden death, which we've done on the rewatchables. Van Damme. Van Damme.

• 1:06:48Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if Craig produced that one.

• 1:06:50Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:50Bill Simmons?

  Dan plays goalie.

• 1:06:51Chris Ryan?

  Of course.

• 1:06:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:52Chris Ryan?

  That was not that long.

• 1:06:53Bill Simmons?

  Craig's on his phone. He's checked out. Um. Sending texts, trying to get the weekend plan.

• 1:06:58Chris Ryan?

  He's like, anybody got a blue bike out there?

• 1:07:00Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Hives is good, though. Let's actually, let's take a break and then we'll rip through the rest of these.

• 1:07:11Speaker 06

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• 1:07:42Chris Ryan?

  And I'm other GLP ones, kinda like him. Are you shaking a maraca?

• 1:07:46Speaker 06

  Nope, I'm shaking the pill version of Ozempic, which no one should ever do except in ads like this.

• 1:07:50Chris Ryan?

  A nice disclaimer.

• 1:07:51Speaker 06

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• 1:08:12Bill Simmons?

  All right, the Joey Pants Award for Best That Guy. Joey Pants automatically wins. Dan Hedaya could have won. Two more people we should mention, though.

• 1:08:20Chris Ryan?

  No, three.

• 1:08:21Bill Simmons?

  Oh, what do you got?

• 1:08:21Chris Ryan?

  Larry Hankin as the cop mechanic.

• 1:08:24Bill Simmons?

  You know who Larry Hankin is, right Craig?

• 1:08:26Chris Ryan?

  What else? Oh, yeah.

• 1:08:27Bill Simmons?

  Cranky old neighbor and friends.

• 1:08:30Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, the guy who gives him the cab, who makes the cab. Yeah, he's in a bunch of stuff.

• 1:08:33Bill Simmons?

  He is. I gotta be honest, I didn't know his name was Larry Hankin until I was doing this pod.

• 1:08:38Chris Ryan?

  And that is the true test of a that guy.

• 1:08:39Bill Simmons?

  He is such a that guy.

• 1:08:41Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Don Calfa, who is Aunt Rose's attorney.

• 1:08:46Chris Ryan?

  Remember when he's like, trying to give him the inheritance and he's like, you gotta go see him, he's in the bathroom or whatever? That guy is the hitman from Weekend at Bernie's.

• 1:08:54Bill Simmons?

  Hmm. Good call.

• 1:08:56Chris Ryan?

  And then Jonathan.

• 1:08:57Bill Simmons?

  That guy's hilarious.

• 1:08:58Chris Ryan?

  Jonathan Grease, who's Bauer's partner and he's in Napoleon Dynamite.

• 1:09:03Speaker 07

  Yeah, Uncle Rico.

• 1:09:04Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:04Bill Simmons?

  My god, you didn't even list his number, his two best things.

• 1:09:07Chris Ryan?

  Well, give it to me.

• 1:09:08Bill Simmons?

  Well, White Lotus.

• 1:09:10Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:10Bill Simmons?

  He plays, uh, what's her face? It's Jennifer Coolidge's mysterious husband.

• 1:09:14Chris Ryan?

  Oh, that's right.

• 1:09:15Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that, I mean, that's his most famous part. Everyone knows him from that.

• 1:09:18Chris Ryan?

  It feels like that guy shrunk. Like, yeah, okay.

• 1:09:21Bill Simmons?

  But then he was Dylan McKay's drug dealer in season.

• 1:09:24Chris Ryan?

  Holy shit.

• 1:09:24Bill Simmons?

  Season five of 902 and O. He got him hooked on the H.

• 1:09:29Chris Ryan?

  He gave him a little taste.

• 1:09:30Bill Simmons?

  He gave him a little taste. Try this, Dylan. Uh, but yeah, that guy's, he was a great, that guy. And then I feel like White Lotus.

• 1:09:37Chris Ryan?

  Nathan.

• 1:09:38Bill Simmons?

  Almost un that guy, though.

• 1:09:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:41Bill Simmons?

  Dionne Waiters award. Pants is eligible.

• 1:09:45Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:46Bill Simmons?

  Bauer's amazing.

• 1:09:48Chris Ryan?

  I kinda, I kinda am shading Bauer.

• 1:09:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I think it's Bauer. Recasting Couch Director City, I have no notes. I don't know if I'd touch anyone.

• 1:09:56Chris Ryan?

  So you, would you want to recast it with guys in the eighties? Or would you want to do a contemporary version of this?

• 1:10:06Bill Simmons?

  Who are the cops in the contemporary version?

• 1:10:10Bill Simmons?

  We just don't have any marketable actors anymore.

• 1:10:14Chris Ryan?

  Guys who are 35, right? Cause Heinz's character is turning like 36.

• 1:10:18Speaker 07

  I mean, you have like Powell and Teller.

• 1:10:21Chris Ryan?

  No, they're too cute, man.

• 1:10:23Speaker 07

  What about like Driver and Shalhoub?

• 1:10:25Bill Simmons?

  I was thinking Shalhoub too.

• 1:10:26Chris Ryan?

  That's a little early for Shalhoub to be retired.

• 1:10:28Bill Simmons?

  We can't have Driver, cause that means the movie will bomb. Make five, five million dollars.

• 1:10:33Speaker 07

  I feel like it's always Driver. Every time we do this, it's like, Driver?

• 1:10:38Bill Simmons?

  I was wondering if it's Chalamet, cuz it's like a nice zag for him. He was just playing like a Chicago cop out of nowhere. Yeah.

• 1:10:46Chris Ryan?

  What about like Glover, Donald Glover, as one of the cops?

• 1:10:50Bill Simmons?

  Donald Glover?

• 1:10:51Chris Ryan?

  Cuz I, I feel-

• 1:10:52Bill Simmons?

  I felt he tried to do that in that Amazon show and I never bought it.

• 1:10:55Chris Ryan?

  Nah, that was like more like a relationship show. He's never done like a buddy cop movie.

• 1:10:59Bill Simmons?

  So it's, Chalamet's probably like three years too young.

• 1:11:02Chris Ryan?

  No.

• 1:11:04Bill Simmons?

  Glenn Powell's too obvious. Why don't we have more actors for this conversation?

• 1:11:10Bill Simmons?

  And then I think, I think the Heinz part is, is probably definitely like a musician or an athlete.

• 1:11:17Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:17Bill Simmons?

  Like for the stunt casting element of it. It's LeBron. LeBron is Gregory Heinz.

• 1:11:23Chris Ryan?

  Do you have to start with a comedian? I feel like we're going after the actor. Do we, should we-

• 1:11:26Bill Simmons?

  What about Craig's guy, Marcelo Hernandez?

• 1:11:28Chris Ryan?

  What about like Shane Gillis?

• 1:11:31Bill Simmons?

  Shane Gillis is pretty interesting.

• 1:11:32Chris Ryan?

  As Danny?

• 1:11:34Chris Ryan?

  But we'd have to make Shane Gillis pretend to be Italian. That would be really funny.

• 1:11:39Chris Ryan?

  Shane Gillendo.

• 1:11:42Bill Simmons?

  Shane Gillis is good. Um, I can't come up with it.

• 1:11:46Bill Simmons?

  I'm trying to think of people. Usually SNL would have been the feeder system for this, but I can't imagine anyone at SNL. It's like Andrew Justmukes. Here he goes. Romo Collinsworth or someone else for the director's commentary. We'll probably have the same one for this.

• 1:12:02Chris Ryan?

  I had Doris.

• 1:12:03Bill Simmons?

  You had Doris? Oh, good. I have, I have somebody else.

• 1:12:06Chris Ryan?

  We see you, Mr. Gonzalez. You've been arrested, accused, bailed, jailed, and paroled. And you're still managing to bring in dozens of kilos from the jungles of Colombia. The street value, who can say? But what can be said is the value you bring to your organization.

• 1:12:26Bill Simmons?

  I keep watching the NBA is back. I keep waiting for her to break into it.

• 1:12:30Chris Ryan?

  She doesn't really, I mean, that would just become a character unto itself.

• 1:12:36Bill Simmons?

  Mike, Billy Crystal just made the greatest joke I've ever heard in my life.

• 1:12:43Bill Simmons?

  He said, "I'm blow Smith and Wesson." That's just unbelievable, Mike.

• 1:12:47Chris Ryan?

  Oh, Mike, I mean, this guy, Danny Castanza, Billy Crystal screams Italian-American.

• 1:12:53Bill Simmons?

  He should be on, he should be on stage with us watching him, Mike.

• 1:12:58Bill Simmons?

  Half-Assed Internet Research, speaking of Billy Crystal,

• 1:13:02Bill Simmons?

  in his 1986 book, Absolutely Marvelous,

• 1:13:08Bill Simmons?

  he said he accidentally whacked himself in the head with a pistol by accident, split open his nose, and needed plastic surgery. I bring this up because I had no idea he wrote a book called Absolutely Marvelous.

• 1:13:18Chris Ryan?

  Did you immediately eva it?

• 1:13:20Bill Simmons?

  Did you know that book existed?

• 1:13:21Chris Ryan?

  Of course not, no.

• 1:13:24Bill Simmons?

  He said in 2021, because Gregory Hines sadly died,

• 1:13:30Bill Simmons?

  Crystal said, "It was just so much fun making that movie. I miss Gregory Hines terribly. Occasionally, I'll put it on and watch just as a way of visiting with Greg."

• 1:13:38Chris Ryan?

  There is a-

• 1:13:38Bill Simmons?

  I would do that with you if you ever died. I would watch old rewatchables episodes. I miss fucking CR.

• 1:13:43Chris Ryan?

  If I died on a Honda Elite?

• 1:13:45Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:48Chris Ryan?

  Goddamn, I miss CR.

• 1:13:51Bill Simmons?

  So the grand finale-

• 1:13:52Chris Ryan?

  And Daniel X, like, that's what he gets for talking about silo.

• 1:13:55Bill Simmons?

  He shouldn't have talked about Apple.

• 1:13:58Bill Simmons?

  The grand finale took place inside the gleaming new structure called State of Illinois Center.

• 1:14:07Chris Ryan?

  I fucking love-

• 1:14:07Bill Simmons?

  Which apparently was a big deal. It was a very cool location for a movie scene.

• 1:14:10Chris Ryan?

  They sold it to Google.

• 1:14:12Bill Simmons?

  Oh, really?

• 1:14:13Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. I love in action movies where they're like, the meat needs to be somewhere public so that they can just choose somewhere amazing to shoot it, you know?

• 1:14:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you're right. It's never like some like off, off-

• 1:14:28Chris Ryan?

  Like back alley?

• 1:14:29Bill Simmons?

  Off bar, yeah. Some bar that's like three streets off of a street.

• 1:14:32Chris Ryan?

  No, it's always like an amusement park or something like that.

• 1:14:36Bill Simmons?

  Apex Mountain. Crystal, no.

• 1:14:40Chris Ryan?

  That's what, City Slickers to you?

• 1:14:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I think we said it was City Slickers when we did this.

• 1:14:45Chris Ryan?

  Not when Harry Met Sally?

• 1:14:46Bill Simmons?

  I think during City Slickers, we realized it was City Slickers. And Palms are like- Like, he had Oscars going at that point.

• 1:14:54Bill Simmons?

  Heinz, I think there's a case.

• 1:14:55Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 1:14:56Bill Simmons?

  Cause now he's a real movie guy. He's this great dancer. And then it eventually leads to them making the movie Tap. Which is one of the many late eighties misfire movie ideas we had where it's like, he's a tap dancer.

• 1:15:08Chris Ryan?

  This is a sensation, yeah.

• 1:15:10Bill Simmons?

  He wants to get out of the world of tap, but he's gotta stay in.

• 1:15:12Chris Ryan?

  They made movies about a lot of occupations back in the eighties. So if you had a job, there was probably a movie about it.

• 1:15:16Bill Simmons?

  Right. It was like, I'm, I deliver food on a bicycle. Wow, Quicksilver.

• 1:15:20Chris Ryan?

  Now it's like, is Thanos in it? No. But like, you know, they used to just be like, the postman.

• 1:15:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, if we had the same approach now, it'd be like Uber driver.

• 1:15:28Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:30Bill Simmons?

  Key West, Apex Mountain for me. It's this versus the real world season with Johnny Bananas.

• 1:15:35Chris Ryan?

  Not Hemingway living there?

• 1:15:37Bill Simmons?

  Well, that could be there too. I don't know. Johnny Bananas versus Hemingway. Really depends on what you like.

• 1:15:41Chris Ryan?

  Contributions to society, yeah.

• 1:15:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Johnny Bananas is still around. Um, Joey Pants, no.

• 1:15:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, he didn't take the coward's way out like Hemingway.

• 1:15:55Chris Ryan?

  That's cause TJ hates quitters.

• 1:15:59Bill Simmons?

  Johnny Bananas, seven time champ.

• 1:16:00Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:01Bill Simmons?

  Going for number eight right now. Chicago Movie Cops?

• 1:16:05Chris Ryan?

  I really like those assholes in Thief who keep rousting Jimmy Khan.

• 1:16:10Bill Simmons?

  I have Jack Walsh.

• 1:16:11Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:16:11Bill Simmons?

  Jack Walsh had to leave the force because he wouldn't do a buyout from Serrano.

• 1:16:15Chris Ryan?

  When are we gonna read Midnight? Rerun?

• 1:16:17Bill Simmons?

  We're getting Matt Damon to join us for that. I'm just telling you now, it's happening.

• 1:16:20Chris Ryan?

  Is that like his favorite movie?

• 1:16:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:22Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:16:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. That's what, that's when we go, when we get a real studio and we bring some star power in.

• 1:16:29Bill Simmons?

  Unlike now. Um, Jimmy Smits?

• 1:16:33Chris Ryan?

  That's when I fake my own death so that you start remembering me finally.

• 1:16:37Bill Simmons?

  That's when AI Chris takes over. Jimmy Smits, no.

• 1:16:41Chris Ryan?

  Nope. And that's NYPD Blue, you think?

• 1:16:43Bill Simmons?

  Probably, yeah. Him in France. I mean, that was, he was winning, did he win Emmys for that?

• 1:16:48Chris Ryan?

  Like, I feel like they just.

• 1:16:49Bill Simmons?

  He was good on that show.

• 1:16:50Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:51Bill Simmons?

  Chicago Bars, I still think it's the About Last Night bar.

• 1:16:54Chris Ryan?

  I think it's the, the.

• 1:16:56Bill Simmons?

  Mother, what was it called? Mothers? About Last Night?

• 1:16:58Chris Ryan?

  No, but yeah.

• 1:16:59Bill Simmons?

  I don't see you in Mothers!

• 1:17:01Chris Ryan?

  What's uh, what's the name of the bar in Thief? The green something?

• 1:17:05Bill Simmons?

  Oh, that's a good one. I haven't watched Thief since we did the pod. I gotta crank it up again.

• 1:17:10Chris Ryan?

  And Khan blows it up at the end?

• 1:17:11Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:13Bill Simmons?

  Dan Hedaya, Hedaya?

• 1:17:15Chris Ryan?

  I mean, this is around like him, he's Blood Simple's around this time.

• 1:17:19Bill Simmons?

  Well, it's, he's Eddie Tortelli, too.

• 1:17:21Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:21Bill Simmons?

  Cheers.

• 1:17:22Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:22Bill Simmons?

  Like, and he's probably the most fan-

• 1:17:24Chris Ryan?

  I think this is probably Pinky Kaya.

• 1:17:24Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I think it is. Michael McDonald's songs? No, but I think videos, yes.

• 1:17:32Bill Simmons?

  And then Yacht Rock was the opposite Apex Mountain, because this is the official end of Yacht Rock.

• 1:17:37Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:37Bill Simmons?

  So I don't know what that is.

• 1:17:38Chris Ryan?

  Is, were there any other, in retrospect, or upon further reflection, yacht rock-coded movies that we could have done?

• 1:17:47Bill Simmons?

  Really, no. I don't think so.

• 1:17:50Chris Ryan?

  There are movies from the 70s set in LA that feel yacht rocky, even if they aren't explicitly like, the Robert Altman Long Goodbye with Elliot Gould, it's kind of yacht rocky to me.

• 1:18:00Bill Simmons?

  But it didn't have the music to add to the-

• 1:18:03Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that, really, no. I don't, I don't see it.

• 1:18:09Bill Simmons?

  Cruise or Hanks?

• 1:18:10Chris Ryan?

  I'm gonna go Hanks.

• 1:18:11Bill Simmons?

  It has to be Hanks. Hanks wins.

• 1:18:13Chris Ryan?

  I think Hanks could very easily play Danny.

• 1:18:16Bill Simmons?

  No question. What's the scorecard?

• 1:18:19Bill Simmons?

  I think Hanks is winning. I think Hanks in the 80s should have made a movie like this. He tried, he tried a couple times and didn't find the right script. Yeah. I think he thought Dragnet might, might be a version of this, and it wasn't.

• 1:18:31Speaker 07

  Hanks is winning 18 to 14.

• 1:18:32Bill Simmons?

  Oh, fucking Cruise. Have that, Cruise.

• 1:18:34Chris Ryan?

  Well, because also, like, wasn't Hanks around this time doing, like, volunteers? Like, he was trying to do, like, kind of action comedies, too.

• 1:18:42Bill Simmons?

  Racehorse, rock band, wrestler, fantasy team name?

• 1:18:44Chris Ryan?

  Actually, can I just throw Cruiser Hanks? And I, for these movies especially, I always think this. The, the, the third way would have been Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton is Danny after Night Shift.

• 1:18:57Bill Simmons?

  Would have been a great Danny.

• 1:19:00Bill Simmons?

  I really love Crystal in this, but yeah, Keaton could have done it. Racehorse, rock band, wrestler, fantasy team name? Sweet Freedom?

• 1:19:05Chris Ryan?

  Julio's Coke.

• 1:19:07Bill Simmons?

  Where's my Coke?

• 1:19:10Bill Simmons?

  Uh, pick a nits.

• 1:19:12Chris Ryan?

  I got one right off the top.

• 1:19:13Bill Simmons?

  Go.

• 1:19:13Chris Ryan?

  Why, did anybody jump out to anybody that Ray kisses Danny's ex like full on the mouth like a lot?

• 1:19:19Bill Simmons?

  Uh, so I noticed this, there's a sexual energy with them that uh, made me super uncomfortable and it made me wonder if that was why they broke up.

• 1:19:26Chris Ryan?

  She's like, I'm always gonna come to your birthday parties. It's always like a pretty full lips kiss, which is.

• 1:19:32Bill Simmons?

  And like a full body hug.

• 1:19:34Chris Ryan?

  Everybody should just do whatever that ma- makes them happy, but I was like, I would not be into this.

• 1:19:39Bill Simmons?

  It's pretty weird. It jumped out to me too.

• 1:19:42Speaker 07

  There's some challengers energy with these three.

• 1:19:44Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:45Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:45Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:46Bill Simmons?

  Challengers energy.

• 1:19:47Chris Ryan?

  That's really good.

• 1:19:48Bill Simmons?

  That's a good category. The challengers award for the sexual attention that I don't really understand.

• 1:19:53Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:54Bill Simmons?

  Um, picking it for me is just Gonzalez is just running a mock in this movie.

• 1:19:59Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:19:59Bill Simmons?

  And I know this is an eighties trope, but uh, he's just complete, there's just no laws and meanwhile, like a big theme of Chicago's eighties movies is how much police there is and how important the police is and there's either police corruption or there's police and he just seems like he's doing this thing.

• 1:20:15Chris Ryan?

  Between the police department and the district attorney's office in this movie.

• 1:20:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:18Chris Ryan?

  They keep catching this guy and he keeps getting paroled or let go. Or bailed, whatever.

• 1:20:24Bill Simmons?

  Tiny nitpick on the, on the cars driving on the tracks.

• 1:20:28Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:20:28Bill Simmons?

  I feel like that would go terribly. I think that's so much harder to do than anyone would realize. Like you're bouncing, eat the moment you fall off one track, I think the car just.

• 1:20:38Chris Ryan?

  Also like, I was, I was nine, so I don't know, but even in 1986, I don't feel like cops would just like aimlessly shoot at escaping vehicles.

• 1:20:48Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:20:48Chris Ryan?

  Hoping to hit something.

• 1:20:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:50Chris Ryan?

  Like they, would, would they?

• 1:20:52Bill Simmons?

  No.

• 1:20:53Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:54Bill Simmons?

  I have the ending where we have this like crazy shootout. Both guys get shot. His wife has to jump and 15 floors up from one elevator to another and they finally kill this guy and this should have been like, I can't wait to get to Key West and instead it's like.

• 1:21:11Chris Ryan?

  This is the, eh, my, my biggest problem with this. I mean, I have a lot of unanswerable questions about this.

• 1:21:16Bill Simmons?

  Well, eh, all of a sudden he's like, no, actually we should stay cops. It's like, what just happened should make you not want to be cops.

• 1:21:22Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:21:22Bill Simmons?

  You should wanna go to Key West. You already paid for the bar. Like, Key West sounds great. Go to Key West.

• 1:21:29Chris Ryan?

  Another nitpick is when Danny gets shot full in the chest by a fellow police officer.

• 1:21:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:35Chris Ryan?

  And they're just kinda like,

• 1:21:36Bill Simmons?

  Whoa!

• 1:21:37Chris Ryan?

  You should've watched where you're fucking standing. Like, there's no accountability for that.

• 1:21:40Bill Simmons?

  That shootout scene is a whole nitpick. Like, there's just a lot of close range. Like, people as close as me to you are just shooting this way. Anything else?

• 1:21:50Chris Ryan?

  Uh, no, I have mostly unanswerable questions.

• 1:21:52Bill Simmons?

  Sequel, prequel, prestige, TBL, Black Cast, Untouchable. There should've been three sequels. We covered that. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trejo, Sid Goldberg, Sam Jackson, JT Walsh, Nell, Byron Mayo, Harling Mays, evil laughing Ramon Raymond? Might have to bump him. Ramon's never won this category. Long Legs? Or Philip Baker Hall?

• 1:22:14Chris Ryan?

  Well, should we give it to Ramon Raymond and make him one of Julio's lieutenants?

• 1:22:19Bill Simmons?

  Well, or he could've been Steven Bauer's partner.

• 1:22:22Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah. Yes.

• 1:22:24Bill Simmons?

  Hey Danny, you think you can catch this guy?

• 1:22:26Chris Ryan?

  I would also say, uh, a little early for him, but Sam Jackson would be a great snake. Early Sam Jackson, taking the Joey Pants Award.

• 1:22:34Bill Simmons?

  Or he could've been, um, yeah, I mean, Sam Jackson could've been in this movie. I had Trejo. Cause I think Trejo could've been like, uh, Jimmy Spitz's lead henchman. He's right around the right age for Trejo. I just think he, I just think he helps the movie.

• 1:22:49Chris Ryan?

  That'd have been great.

• 1:22:53Bill Simmons?

  Now, I also was thinking about too. Where they're in the elevator and he's trying to get her to jump. She's like,

• 1:23:01Bill Simmons?

  What if, what if it even better?

• 1:23:04Chris Ryan?

  If Julio was Long Legs?

• 1:23:06Bill Simmons?

  Give me back my coke, Danny!

• 1:23:09Chris Ryan?

  Where's my coke?

• 1:23:14Bill Simmons?

  Danny? Your partner's fucking your wife!

• 1:23:21Bill Simmons?

  He's getting in there!

• 1:23:27Bill Simmons?

  Just want to ask her who gets it. It's gotta be Michael McDonald.

• 1:23:30Chris Ryan?

  For best song.

• 1:23:31Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, for best song. Probably an answerable questions. Let's do it. Did these guys ever move to Key West? Cause they never made a fucking sequel and then Gregory Hines died, so we're never getting one.

• 1:23:40Chris Ryan?

  About this. Do they say they're gonna stay in Chicago? I looked this up. 1986 mortgage rates? 10.19%.

• 1:23:50Bill Simmons?

  Jesus.

• 1:23:50Chris Ryan?

  So fucking Danny is underwater on this lease, like instantaneously. If he's not already down there slinging shrimp.

• 1:23:57Bill Simmons?

  Right. He's gotta immediately get like 50% off, 5 to 8.

• 1:24:02Chris Ryan?

  But he's gonna be annihilated by that, right?

• 1:24:06Bill Simmons?

  10% Yeah, that's tough.

• 1:24:07Chris Ryan?

  Cause Julio says to him, "I'm gonna give you 150 grand," which is like more than the note on that bar that you just leased.

• 1:24:15Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:16Chris Ryan?

  And they're like, "No, no, no." But like, if they don't go down there and start pumping beer out of there, they're fucking dead financially. So that's one thing. Second, Anna clearly perked back up for Danny when he was like, "I'm moving to Florida." She was like, "Great. You finally have seen yourself outside of Chicago."

• 1:24:32Bill Simmons?

  So it was the job that was breaking them up?

• 1:24:34Chris Ryan?

  Right. So when he's like, actually on second thought, now that we're making out, "I'm gonna continue to be a detective in Chicago and get shot at all the time."

• 1:24:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:42Chris Ryan?

  Is she like, "All right, great. I'm going back to my dentist?"

• 1:24:45Bill Simmons?

  She's like, "I'm going back to Ray."

• 1:24:47Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. So that's, that's my big, those are my two big ones. The loan and what happens to the relationship.

• 1:24:51Bill Simmons?

  Just go to Key West. The last scene of this movie should be like the last scene in Trading Places.

• 1:24:55Chris Ryan?

  Absolutely.

• 1:24:56Bill Simmons?

  They should be at the bar, super happy. The wife's there. Hines has some hot lady with him and it's 50% off.

• 1:25:03Chris Ryan?

  The girl he's been sleeping with throughout the movie.

• 1:25:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:06Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:08Bill Simmons?

  Best double feature choice. I had Stakeout.

• 1:25:11Chris Ryan?

  That's a really good one. I was gonna go busting just because of Hyams, but yeah.

• 1:25:15Bill Simmons?

  You know Stakeout, Craig? Mill West of Es and Richard Dreyfuss?

• 1:25:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:20Bill Simmons?

  Classic. Good enough that they made a sequel. They made a sequel for Stakeout.

• 1:25:24Chris Ryan?

  In the second one?

• 1:25:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:25Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:25Bill Simmons?

  Made a sequel to that and not to this.

• 1:25:29Bill Simmons?

  The Indian Reds one, A Ward. What happened the next day? We talked about it.

• 1:25:34Bill Simmons?

  What piece of memorabilia would you want from this movie?

• 1:25:37Chris Ryan?

  I could just get it, but the White Sox hat.

• 1:25:40Bill Simmons?

  The boobs t-shirts?

• 1:25:42Chris Ryan?

  What?

• 1:25:43Bill Simmons?

  Like the actual worn from the movie t-shirts?

• 1:25:45Chris Ryan?

  What actual, like, reality do you think you could wear a boobs t-shirt in? Like, around the house?

• 1:25:51Bill Simmons?

  Halloween, dressed as the cops?

• 1:25:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but like, this is not that popular of a movie. If you and I did, like, Halloween wearing boobs t-shirts, I don't think people would get it.

• 1:26:03Bill Simmons?

  Greg?

• 1:26:03Speaker 07

  You could wear it when you're back at college with Ben.

• 1:26:06Chris Ryan?

  That's true.

• 1:26:07Bill Simmons?

  Ben would wear it right now.

• 1:26:11Bill Simmons?

  Maybe, maybe in Trump's America, boobs t-shirts will come back.

• 1:26:14Chris Ryan?

  That's true.

• 1:26:16Bill Simmons?

  The Honda Elite scooters that they have, the movie-driven scooters would be cool.

• 1:26:22Chris Ryan?

  Have you ever been back on a scooter since that accident?

• 1:26:24Bill Simmons?

  No, I retired.

• 1:26:26Chris Ryan?

  And if Ben was like, "I want to get a Honda Elite," would you let him?

• 1:26:29Bill Simmons?

  I would strangle him.

• 1:26:30Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:26:30Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson. "You can't go from marrying a cop to marrying a dentist." That was the biggest lesson I learned from this.

• 1:26:40Chris Ryan?

  I was gonna say, if you really want to, if you think you want to move to Key West, you do. And you should stay. You should go. Don't go back to Chicago.

• 1:26:49Bill Simmons?

  What's your Key West CR?

• 1:26:54Bill Simmons?

  Don't say Portland, I'm throwing my body in front of that.

• 1:26:56Chris Ryan?

  No, I gotta pick somewhere more exotic and beautiful. Uh, there's an island off of Croatia called Vis that I really like.

• 1:27:02Bill Simmons?

  See, this is, now we're talking.

• 1:27:04Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you get some basketball.

• 1:27:06Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:07Bill Simmons?

  You could pick a side in the Croatia Serbia basketball rivalry.

• 1:27:10Chris Ryan?

  Semi-pro team.

• 1:27:12Bill Simmons?

  Start setting some of the three-point offenses.

• 1:27:15Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:16Bill Simmons?

  Uh, who won the movie? It's a really tough one.

• 1:27:19Chris Ryan?

  I'm gonna go Crystal.

• 1:27:22Chris Ryan?

  But it's close with him and Heinz.

• 1:27:25Bill Simmons?

  I agree with you because this movie allows Crystal to have the next five years that he had.

• 1:27:31Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:32Bill Simmons?

  He needed to prove that he could be in a movie, as we can see from the poster. Heinz was the star and Crystal was basically the sidekick.

• 1:27:40Chris Ryan?

  Even though he has the more, like, articulated love arc.

• 1:27:44Bill Simmons?

  Well, we've reached the time when we asked producer Craig, who had never heard of this movie or seen it, for his opinion.

• 1:27:49Speaker 07

  I liked this movie a lot. I liked the chemistry between Hines and Crystal was great. I do think watching it, it made me realize how much I love like Lethal Weapon and Midnight Run and Beverly Hills Cop. This feels a tier below. I feel like the chemistry was there, but it's a little flatter.

• 1:28:05Chris Ryan?

  Cause there's no, there's no tension.

• 1:28:06Speaker 07

  There's no tension. It's like they're just kinda hanging around trying to catch this one guy. There's like, there's not a ton of stakes. I think Lethal Weapon is darker and funnier. This is just a little bit more, kind of just, I don't wanna say going through the motions.

• 1:28:21Bill Simmons?

  It's an easier watch.

• 1:28:22Speaker 07

  Yeah. You, this is a, you can go to the bathroom during it and come back and it's okay. And Lethal Weapon, I feel like I'm a little bit more invested in the performances and the storyline and stuff like that.

• 1:28:32Chris Ryan?

  I think this is more of like what you would call like a programmer. Like this is like a 3pm cable, like, oh shit, the running scared's on. Like, I'm gonna watch this for 25 minutes.

• 1:28:39Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's less fully formed.

• 1:28:41Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. But I still really like, like, the more you watch it, the more stuff you're like, oh, man, I, I forgot about this part or like that outfit that he's wearing, stuff like that.

• 1:28:52Bill Simmons?

  I like hanging out with the guys.

• 1:28:53Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:28:53Bill Simmons?

  So this movie could have either been 20 minutes shorter or like three hours longer. I was good either way.

• 1:28:59Speaker 07

  I really liked Hines. I don't think I've ever seen a movie with him. I know he was in Will and Grace a little bit, I remember him from, but I don't really have a huge connection to him.

• 1:29:06Bill Simmons?

  He's one of those where the career didn't match what, like, the way I wish it had gone.

• 1:29:10Chris Ryan?

  Well, I think outside of the movies, he's considered like an American cultural institution because of his contributions to dance and stuff like that.

• 1:29:17Bill Simmons?

  But I just feel like he just could have been in a bunch of cool movies.

• 1:29:19Speaker 07

  Yeah. Can I say, what is up with men's underwear in this movie?

• 1:29:23Bill Simmons?

  What, the long?

• 1:29:24Chris Ryan?

  All the briefs or the long johns?

• 1:29:25Speaker 07

  No, no, the long johns I get. It's when they, like, Panaliano, when he strips, like, there's two scenes of men in underwear. And it's like these very tight little things.

• 1:29:33Bill Simmons?

  No, that was the era.

• 1:29:34Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, boxers weren't really-

• 1:29:35Bill Simmons?

  Caught in banana hammocks.

• 1:29:37Speaker 07

  Everybody wore those and those were comfortable? Why was that ever the move?

• 1:29:42Bill Simmons?

  It was just the way it went. And in the 90s, I think I was one of the last people who didn't move to boxers.

• 1:29:48Speaker 07

  Oh.

• 1:29:48Bill Simmons?

  And, um-

• 1:29:50Speaker 07

  What about briefs?

• 1:29:51Chris Ryan?

  You're talking about, no, he's talking about boxer shorts.

• 1:29:53Speaker 07

  When did the briefs come into play?

• 1:29:54Chris Ryan?

  After boxer shorts, to my knowledge.

• 1:29:56Bill Simmons?

  Commissioner and Camp and my fantasy league named my team the Banana Hammocks.

• 1:29:59Speaker 07

  Cause you would wear them.

• 1:30:00Bill Simmons?

  Cause those guys couldn't believe that I was still wearing that kinda underwear. I was like three years too late. But now, now I'm like full boxers.

• 1:30:06Speaker 07

  If you went to go play pickup basketball and, were you wearing banana hammocks?

• 1:30:11Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I think I was.

• 1:30:12Speaker 07

  Wow.

• 1:30:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Probably a mistake.

• 1:30:14Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:30:15Bill Simmons?

  A lot of mistakes were made in the eighties.

• 1:30:17Chris Ryan?

  Riding a Honda Elite.

• 1:30:18Bill Simmons?

  I don't think, it wasn't anything I put thought into until I went to college. Cause it was like, my mom bought me this underwear, so I'll wear it.

• 1:30:26Chris Ryan?

  It's useful to know that we were not bombarded with like, information about every single choice that we made back then. So it was kinda like underwear was not something you thought about like a ton.

• 1:30:37Speaker 07

  It was just funny because the clothes back then were much bulkier and bigger and roomier. And yet the underwear was incredibly tight.

• 1:30:45Chris Ryan?

  I think I switched, I think I switched to boxers in like the late eighties.

• 1:30:48Speaker 07

  Because when they, when, when-

• 1:30:49Bill Simmons?

  That was like 92 range.

• 1:30:50Speaker 07

  When Joey Pants takes off his pants and they, it's, they show his underwear. I thought that was gonna be like a big joke and they kinda just move right past it.

• 1:30:56Chris Ryan?

  No, I mean, there's this, when, when they're on the boat fishing, when Gregory had this fishing.

• 1:31:01Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:31:01Chris Ryan?

  He's wearing like a thong and it, it's, it's pretty wild for a second. And I'm just like, I don't ever remember seeing, outside of like the Mediterranean, guys wear those.

• 1:31:10Speaker 07

  Yeah. That will never come back in America, I think.

• 1:31:13Bill Simmons?

  No.

• 1:31:15Chris Ryan?

  Um. This has been Undergarment Talk with Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan.

• 1:31:20Bill Simmons?

  Produced by Craig Horlbeck. Thanks to Jack and Gao as well. Our last time in the studio. Don't forget, um, the Yacht Rock Documentary. Friday, November 29th.

• 1:31:30Chris Ryan?

  A lot of Michael McDonald in it.

• 1:31:31Bill Simmons?

  All Thanksgiving weekend. A lot of Michael McDonald in it. Scenes from this movie in it. So, uh, stay tuned for that. We will see you next week on The Re-Lotable.