Bonus #115 - Wilfred Padua and Jeff Scheen [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wilfred Padua and Jeff Scheen join the pod to discuss white people food palettes, umami, sleeping with your parents until you're way too old, having no privacy in a house full of siblings, and much more. Wilfred, Jeff and Stav help callers including a guy who's hung up on an affair that he was the sidepiece in, and a guy whose buddy is a 26-year-old virgin who's way too picky. Follow Wilfred Padua on social media: https://www.wilfredpaduacomedy.com/ http://instagram.com/wilfredpadua Follow Jeff Scheen on social media: https://www.jeffscheen.com/ https://www.instagram.com/newyorkjeffrey/ https://www.youtube.com/@Newyorkjeffrey https://www.tiktok.com/@newyorkjeff 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:45Speaker 00

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• 1:02Speaker 01

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• 1:31Stavros Halkias?

  What did you guys have over there? What kind of mix?

• 1:33Speaker 03

  In Michigan, we got, I mean, it's a lot of German whites. And then we got Chaldeans, you know, we got a Chaldean group.

• 1:39Stavros Halkias?

  What the hell's Chaldea?

• 1:41Speaker 03

  It's Christian Iraqis.

• 1:43Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  Came over, uh-huh, came over from, uh, from the first Iraq war.

• 1:49Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, we let the Christians in.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  And then they came over to a spot in Michigan. So all Michigan people are like, oh, yeah, we know Chaldeans. Nobody else knows what they are. It's like a little Michigan secret. We have a little bunch of Christian Iraqis.

• 2:00Stavros Halkias?

  Christian Iraqis.

• 2:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:02Stavros Halkias?

  What's the Christian Iraq food like? They got kebabs and shit?

• 2:05Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't know. We never try either.

• 2:10Stavros Halkias?

  Just meatloaf every meal?

• 2:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know they're there, that's enough.

• 2:17Stavros Halkias?

  You do have a stofers ass face, Jeff.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 2:22Stavros Halkias?

  You have a right down the middle, American cuisine face.

• 2:25Speaker 03

  Oh, you better believe we had milk with every meal.

• 2:27Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no. That shit is so fucking gross. That's interesting that that type of trash travels across the country, because foley is like that. Just pure, you know, Philadelphia.

• 2:39Speaker 04

  Dude, I went over to his place and he's making a turkey and cheese sandwich on white bread. Just mayo and a glass of milk.

• 2:48Stavros Halkias?

  A glass of milk with a turkey mayo cheese sandwich?

• 2:52Speaker 04

  I was like, you're thirty six.

• 2:53Stavros Halkias?

  That's every shade of white possible. That's every shade of like, from paper white to like cream. All your foods are in that spectrum.

• 3:05Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fucking disgusting.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  Chips in there, there's potato chips.

• 3:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the only pop of colors if you went nacho Doritos.

• 3:15Stavros Halkias?

  If it's Cinco de Mayo and you have nacho, nacho Doritos.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  When it was sour cream on it, you better believe it was sour cream.

• 3:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck, that's so fucking gross.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's good.

• 3:29Stavros Halkias?

  That's not good.

• 3:30Speaker 03

  That's not how you're supposed to eat.

• 3:32Stavros Halkias?

  That's literally what dessert should be like. What you're describing is like savory dessert, like texture, you know what I mean? Like, I'm thinking about that sliding down my throat and it's pissing me off.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  No, no, enjoy the slide. Enjoy it.

• 3:48Speaker 04

  He has a white bread that like sticks to the roof of your mouth.

• 3:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no toasted, not toasted.

• 3:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, not at all.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  You gotta scoop that out with your tongue. That's how you do it.

• 3:57Stavros Halkias?

  That fucking sucks, dude.

• 3:59Speaker 03

  My dad would order at a restaurant, he'd order spaghetti and then he'd go, when it comes out, a cold glass of milk with the spaghetti.

• 4:07Stavros Halkias?

  That sucks.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  He didn't want it to warm up on the table. He needed it.

• 4:14Stavros Halkias?

  I respect that at least. I do weirdly respect that he is strict with his temperatures. But that is, what is he chasing there? What's the thing you want?

• 4:25Speaker 03

  That's how you kids gotta be. Hot spaghetti.

• 4:29Stavros Halkias?

  Cold milk? Hot spaghetti and cold milk?

• 4:34Stavros Halkias?

  Because to me, milk is so, it's dessert coated, you know what I mean?

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know.

• 4:38Stavros Halkias?

  It's like a treat, it's not to be eaten with your main course.

• 4:43Speaker 04

  Yes, it shouldn't be with savory food.

• 4:44Stavros Halkias?

  So fucked up to be with savory food.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  I mean, it's in the breakfast category.

• 4:48Stavros Halkias?

  Breakfast is.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  I think it can slide.

• 4:50Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  Lunch.

• 4:52Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no, it cannot. First of all, it can't even slide to lunch. You got really greedy, Jeff. I was gonna, I was going to listen to you if you made a brunch based argument. If you made a brunch based argument, my ears were open, but you tried to move it all the way to dinner.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  You got your cereal and milk. Sandwich and milk.

• 5:14Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no. Absolutely not. Absolutely fucking lootly not.

• 5:19Speaker 04

  For years, for years, I've been craving pizza and cold milk.

• 5:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:23Speaker 04

  And I think about myself eating that when I was a kid, and I'm like, damn, that sounds like it would fucking hit.

• 5:28Stavros Halkias?

  But that's.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  Come on over.

• 5:29Stavros Halkias?

  What that is, is, what that is, is summer camp palate. You know what I mean? That's like you get a box, you get a fu, that's like school lunch. We would get milk. I, that, you know, that started early for me because they would give us milk and as a child, I was disgusted. And I would always try and get chocolate milk and see it as a separate entity to my lunch, see it as my dessert.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  Oh, that's why it's dessert for you.

• 5:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but that's, it's for, I think it's for everyone, it should be that way.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  I was over there being like, give me that extra milk.

• 5:58Stavros Halkias?

  Can I, like, can I get that two per, can I get two two percents?

• 6:03Speaker 04

  You get two twos and a skim.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  The skim's for hydrating.

• 6:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, of course. Skim's basically water. You fucking have a, you have a squeeze bottle full of skim when you're running track.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  I'll give you the skim.

• 6:22Stavros Halkias?

  But that's what you mix Gatorade with. You're at soccer practice with powdered Gatorade and skim. That actually doesn't, now I'm actually on board. That sounds like a creamsicle situation. Orange Gatorade and skim powder? I'm listening to that.

• 6:37Speaker 04

  That's protein fortified Gatorade right there.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  Finally.

• 6:42Stavros Halkias?

  This is, yeah, we just invented something by accident. Out of the ashes of your, of a disgusting riff comes something, comes something possible and interesting.

• 6:52Speaker 03

  Beautiful Midwest riff.

• 6:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the, the amount of dairy and, cause you, you, I'm guessing you're in a no dairy. Filipinos don't fuck with dairy. Asians in general, I feel like Koreans will put like fucking cheese on shit weirdly.

• 7:06Speaker 04

  Well, so do Asians, so do Filipinos.

• 7:07Stavros Halkias?

  They do?

• 7:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, uh, there's like cheese ice cream.

• 7:10Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 7:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:11Stavros Halkias?

  I guess I'm thinking of that like hot dog on a stick that Koreans will do. But I feel like a lot of that is them misunderstanding American culture. And trying to get in on it like late in the game.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, all those Korean hot dog spots.

• 7:24Speaker 04

  We, we go to that Korean hot dog spot around the corner from me and it's like, it's so much better than like corn dogs here.

• 7:31Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm, interesting, interesting.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  It's like a fancy corn dog. It takes them like 15 minutes to make the thing.

• 7:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, they put a lot of work into it.

• 7:38Stavros Halkias?

  I think actually a hot dog should not be elevated. I think it deserves to stay in the basement. It's a disgusting food and we should have it at barbecues and it should, we should take, no, I'm with Jeff here. I'm not trying to wait 15 minutes for a hot dog in almost any circumstance.

• 7:52Speaker 04

  When we did go, it took an, like an hour.

• 7:55Stavros Halkias?

  An hour? For a bespoke cheese covered hot dog on a stick?

• 8:00Speaker 03

  He needed his Korean corn dog.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  Ronald Lee.

• 8:09Stavros Halkias?

  Two very interesting palates over here.

• 8:11Speaker 04

  Jeff's coming in for revenge right now.

• 8:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking hilarious. Yeah, cuz it's it's all it's all I respect that about the the Asian palate. There's no there's no dairy really anywhere.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  No dairy, no, uh, lots of.

• 8:28Stavros Halkias?

  Lots of spices and shit.

• 8:30Speaker 04

  Spices, umamis, whatever the hell that is.

• 8:33Stavros Halkias?

  Give me some umami, brother.

• 8:34Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, umami. Throws me off every time.

• 8:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're not in on umami.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  It's like purple, but it's got a milk vibe.

• 8:42Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, you're thinking of.

• 8:43Speaker 04

  No, you're thinking of ube.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  ube, the purple stuff.

• 8:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Umami.

• 8:48Speaker 04

  Umami.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Wait, which one's that?

• 8:49Stavros Halkias?

  Umami is not really a thing. It's more of a description of a type of like savory flavor.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what I meant.

• 8:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's a rich.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 8:57Stavros Halkias?

  MSG has a lot of umami.

• 8:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's mushrooms involved in it.

• 9:02Stavros Halkias?

  Sometimes tomato.

• 9:03Speaker 03

  Oh, it's a it's like a vibe.

• 9:05Stavros Halkias?

  It's a vibe, yeah, it's closer to a vibe. It's a vibey. It's salty. It's it's the it's savory salty with like a a better like PR.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 9:15Stavros Halkias?

  That's what umami is. It's good shit, though. You know what I mean?

• 9:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can't tell the difference, though.

• 9:20Stavros Halkias?

  Between what?

• 9:22Speaker 04

  Umami and non-umami.

• 9:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:24Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 9:24Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, I just.

• 9:25Speaker 04

  My girlfriend made chili last night, and then she was like, oh, I put some uh, some umami in it. And I was like, I couldn't tell.

• 9:32Stavros Halkias?

  But she might just be getting got by PR cuz now it's the it's the kind of thing like they'll be like wagyu steak at Walmart, and it's like, that's not wagyu. You know what I mean?

• 9:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:41Stavros Halkias?

  Whereas like umami, it's like, you know, I saw like at Costco, there's like umami flavoring. It's like, that's not. I think you gotta put MSG. I think MSG was, uh, it's been it's been, um, exonerated. As people used to think it would make you sick.

• 9:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:57Stavros Halkias?

  Um, and they were like, no MSG, but it's actually good for you.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  It is back.

• 10:01Stavros Halkias?

  It's that's umami.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  MSG is back.

• 10:03Stavros Halkias?

  MSG's back, brother.

• 10:05Speaker 03

  And that's umami.

• 10:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, it is.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  All right, look at me. Let's go somewhere.

• 10:09Stavros Halkias?

  It's part, yeah.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  I'm ready to tackle the day.

• 10:11Stavros Halkias?

  Lots of different things can get you some umami.

• 10:12Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 10:13Stavros Halkias?

  You know, it's a deep richness. I feel like fish sometime, fish stock can give you a little umami. Some tomato, a lot of different flavors.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  How do you know when you're getting it?

• 10:23Stavros Halkias?

  It's just, I mean, this is, you're pretty, you're really, you're barely hanging on to this concept. The questions you're asking really betray that you you're pretending to understand it a lot more than you actually do. So it's okay, we can drop it. We don't have to keep talking about umami.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  So someone at the table can disagree, though, if it's umami or not.

• 10:48Stavros Halkias?

  I suppose the way you could disagree if something's too salty or too sweet. You could have, you could have opinions on what level.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  I could be like, this is an umami.

• 10:57Stavros Halkias?

  Well.

• 10:57Speaker 04

  But how much umami is in it?

• 10:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I think so.

• 11:00Speaker 04

  I don't even, I couldn't tell you the difference.

• 11:02Stavros Halkias?

  I think it's just a, yeah, I mean, it's just a flavor. I don't know.

• 11:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:10Stavros Halkias?

  It's more of a richness, like a multiplier of flavors. It's not. We really don't have to spend that much time on this.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  But I could be at the table and be like, I disagree.

• 11:19Stavros Halkias?

  You, I guess, the way you could with almost anything. Somebody could bring a plate of, let me put it in terms you understand. Somebody could bring a plate of new, of well-done noodles. And you could say, I could, they have some shape to them. These are not, these are not boiled enough. You know what I mean? So the way you could say that, you'd be like, I'd like these a little more boiled, please.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  So it's obvious, but it can be opinion-based.

• 11:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, it could, I guess. To each his own, to each his own.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  I'm eating ice cream.

• 11:49Stavros Halkias?

  This is like teaching a baby, this is like teaching a baby like what opinions are.

• 11:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, some people like, even though you like cookies, doesn't mean she likes cookies. You can ask her, is this too much chocolate for you? You know, that kind of thing.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  I can't wait to disagree.

• 12:09Stavros Halkias?

  When you go have some, some of Wilfred's girlfriend's chili. You could say, there's no umami in your bitch.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  I disagree.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  Get you with a fork and a knife.

• 12:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:31Speaker 00

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT. Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time, and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you, because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to NerTec ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers

• 13:16Speaker 00

  and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NER-TAC or visit ner-tac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 13:31Stavros Halkias?

  This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network, brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month, or get the Premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STOV.

• 14:16Stavros Halkias?

  Terms apply.