#115 - Will Sasso

The great Will Sasso joins the pod to discuss growing up in Canada, connecting with his Italian roots, Stav's favorite episode of Law & Order SVU, skipping school to become an actor, his first acting gig, his favorite John Candy scene, and much more. Will and Stav help callers including a widower who's in love with his dead wife's poly cousin, and a woman whose dad sent her mom an incriminating video that he claims to be AI. Eat smart with Factor. Head to https://www.factormeals.com/stavvy50off and use code STAVVY50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. Exclusive $20-off Carver Mat at AuraFrames.com. Use code STAVVY at checkout to save. Your summer wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code STAVVY at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/stavvy #chubbiespod Follow Will Sasso on social media: https://www.instagram.com/willsasso/ https://www.facebook.com/willsasso Check out Will Sasso's podcast Dudesy: https://www.dudesypod.com/ 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:45Speaker 00

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• 1:02Speaker 01

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• 1:32Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody, to Stavvi's World. 904-800-Stav. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. We're in Los Angeles, part of the Stavvi's World Takes L.A. Hollywood Halcyon Series, where we get some of our favorites that live over here. And we are pumped to have Will Sasso on the couch. Will, thanks for being here. You don't understand... Eldis is so starstruck. We both are, but he doesn't give a fuck about anyone. We were huge Mad TV guys.

• 2:01Speaker 03

  Oh cheers.

• 2:01Stavros Halkias?

  Huge Mad TV guys as fat little children, you know what I mean? Just fucking, I remember being very small and being like, I caught the tail end of Farley. And then they took my fat guy on TV away.

• 2:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:15Stavros Halkias?

  Very soon after.

• 2:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:16Stavros Halkias?

  Who's coming around the bend?

• 2:18Speaker 03

  Mad TV always had a fat guy. Artie Lange.

• 2:20Stavros Halkias?

  Or he was there.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  Then me, like literally Artie leaves the show and it's like, we need a new warm body. No, must be a fat guy.

• 2:28Stavros Halkias?

  Has to be fat as shit.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:30Stavros Halkias?

  And you were fat as shit back in the day.

• 2:31Speaker 03

  Oh, I was good and fat, good in comedy, not just comedy fat.

• 2:35Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  Fucking, oh no, early twenties gonna fall over fat.

• 2:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, seeing you alive really helps me. Cause I don't got many, I don't got many of the guys I looked up to that were fat as shit. I'm like, alright, if sasso's still kicking, maybe I can turn it around.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  That's fucking great. No, I, you know, it's interesting. Look, I'm a fan. I'm happy to be here. I'm stoked.

• 2:59Stavros Halkias?

  Appreciate it.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  We've been going back and forth a little bit on IG and I haven't been through New York. And, and it was in a while. So it's been one of those things where I'm like, you know, had I been there, I'd been, I would've hit you up. But I'm, I'm so happy to be sitting with you and I feel like there's so many things that we kinda just, you know, have in common, not just cause the business, but also, you know, I don't know, we'll get into it. But your background and your, your immigrant parents.

• 3:25Stavros Halkias?

  Being Mediterranean, yeah, that was another thing that shocked me because I was obviously just a, like a fan growing up. Uh, but then like, like becoming friends on Instagram and seeing your stories where you're in Italy and you're not doing the typical, I'm gonna eat, from all my, all the East Coast Italians I know, they're like, I'm Italian. And they might have an avowal at the end. They're not, they're like, they don't speak of, they say they're Italian. You know what I mean? They're eating chicken par, they're eating like deep fried chicken par. And then I see you who just.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  There's no fucking, you don't put chicken with pasta in Italy.

• 3:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. I see you and you just seem like a white guy, no disrespect. I don't know, you know, I just, uh, you know, a Canadian, I suppose, but still, I'm like, that's.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  Which makes you. Way wider.

• 4:06Stavros Halkias?

  Which makes you way wider. And then you're speaking fucking Italian. You're like really speaking Italian, you're like, I'm with my nonna. And it's like some little Italian lady. I'm like, what the fuck? Sasso's truly ethnic and he's been hiding it the whole time? It's awesome.

• 4:21Speaker 03

  My parents were this big and brown and it's true. And they, yeah, they immigrated from Napoli in the, in sixty six.

• 4:29Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  My brother and sister, my, my sister was a toddler, my brother was a newborn. And then I came out, you know, ten years later, whatever, the mistake. And then, and, and, but yeah, the old man brought aunts and uncles. He was the only one who spoke English. He was in restaurants all over Europe and blah, blah, blah.

• 4:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 4:45Speaker 03

  Waiter, maître d'. And, and so, yeah, it, it, the mo, the bulk of the family is back there.

• 4:52Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 4:52Speaker 03

  So I do have this Napolitan like thing where my upbringing was extremely.

• 4:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 4:58Speaker 03

  Napolitan.

• 4:59Stavros Halkias?

  Truly like old world shit. Like nobody spoke English in the house type of stuff.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  You know.

• 5:05Stavros Halkias?

  And you were, you were at least the youngest one, so they were probably a little.

• 5:08Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 5:08Stavros Halkias?

  By the time you came around, they'd like been in the, in Canada for like, you know, a decade, it sounds like.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  My mom was, you know, my mom, like a lot of, a lot of women, really, you know, the, you know, the, the housewives and mothers that stayed home while their husbands went out and worked in the sixties and seventies. They watched Sesame Street, they watched soap operas.

• 5:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  And they learned how to speak, you know. So, yeah, my mom had the most adorable little broken English accent and.

• 5:35Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  And, yeah, the old man prided himself on being able to speak better English.

• 5:40Stavros Halkias?

  Right, wow.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  Talking like this.

• 5:42Stavros Halkias?

  That I'm not familiar with. Every Greek person I grew up with actively hated America. They hated being here. My dad's still like, we, we, like I hung out with my dad, I put real FaceTime with him in for a while. We, we were kind of on the rocks for a while. And, and I'm like, surely I've imagined how bad his English is. And then we fucking, he's just trying to order something at a restaurant. It's not even like a conversation, it's like, he's, it was, to be fair, Korean barbecue.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 6:12Stavros Halkias?

  So it's like a double language barrier.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  Bulgogi is a hard.

• 6:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but he still couldn't even like make pleasantries with the waiter, but I respect that. Your, your, your dad was like, look, we're here. This is a better place than Italy. Like we're, we're having a better life here.

• 6:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, he'd always romanticized coming out to the States or Canada. My, uh, my no, no, my, my father's father was a chef. And so he used to go over to Chicago and New York and cook. But he didn't have papers. It was always, you know, under the table or whatever.

• 6:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, maybe a little, you should spice that story up. You could for Al Capone.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:50Stavros Halkias?

  The timing's right, right?

• 6:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:52Stavros Halkias?

  Your grandfather, you know?

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was my, yeah, it was my grandfather was like, hey, this untreated syphilis is gonna make your balls melt off the side of your leg.

• 7:02Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, use a condom. And he's like, what is this fucking off the boat whop? No, fuck you. And then if you'd only listened to you, we'd still have Al Capone around today.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, we'd still have Al Capone. And yeah, so they sent, so Capone sent my grandfather back. And he told my dad, like, check out the, the immigration to Canada because they really relaxed it in the sixties. We had a massive influx of, you know, a lot of Greeks, Italians, Portuguese, coming into, into Canada, a lot in Toronto. But the old man had sort of the, sort of loose promise of a job at the Hotel Vancouver, in Vancouver. Cause he had this, you know, resume that had been all over Europe. And he was a real hotelier.

• 7:46Stavros Halkias?

  So your dad and your grandfather?

• 7:47Speaker 03

  No, my, my grandfather was that, stayed, you know, back and they.

• 7:51Stavros Halkias?

  But they were both chefs?

• 7:52Speaker 03

  No, uh, the old, my granddad was a chef. My, my father fancies himself a chef, but waiter and maître d'. And so, yeah, so he came over and, and yeah, like I said, I had cousins and, and uncles and aunts. So it was this thing, like, you know, I mean, there's whatever, you know, and the immigrant experience, like being the, the children of immigrants, the fucking shit, the, the gnarly sort of stuff that's still, you know, they're, they grew up during World War Two. They do things like, you know, you know, whatever, there's hundreds of stories, but you know, we were at the beach every weekend in, in Vancouver and not like the good beach where you have to pay for parking. Like off the, the rock jetty that the ferry terminal is out at the end of, you know, you don't, you just park

• 8:37Speaker 03

  the cars along the freeway. And shit like, again, so many things, but like stuff that. Going back to Napoli, I'm like, oh, this is great because we're doing shit like, you know, my Zio Nino, my Uncle John would take like a chicken wire fence and like bring it. Well, what, what's that for thing pile up rocks and then we're all going clam digging and picking muscle and shit and then just they're all over the, you know, the chicken wire with the fire underneath and just lemon and

• 9:05Stavros Halkias?

  Beautiful dude.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  And you're there until midnight.

• 9:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just hanging out. That's awesome. So was there any like, you're the baby of this Italian family, right? Was there any like pressure on you to be, did they want you to, like, what did your siblings do? Did they have that traditional immigrant, you gotta fucking succeed, gotta be a lawyer type shit or did they want you?

• 9:27Speaker 03

  No, they, I mean, my parents were really like, do whatever the fuck you want, but love it.

• 9:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:33Speaker 03

  So my brother and sister both, uh, yeah, they're, no one's in show business and, uh, you know, my brother's in real estate. My sister is in interpreter services and, and, um, uh, sort of, you know, a really big, you know, inspiration for is the immigrant story and finding interpreter services of which there's so many in Canada because the government gives a shit about that.

• 9:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, figure it out in America. They don't really fucking care. Yeah.

• 10:01Speaker 03

  You mean an interpreter will come to the DMV and help me?

• 10:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's hilarious.

• 10:05Speaker 03

  Maybe not.

• 10:06Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, I didn't even consider that being possible.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, isn't that wild?

• 10:11Stavros Halkias?

  Cause the whole thing, especially in America, it's like that you all, the oldest kid is the interpreter. Like I, I truly like would like trans, I would like fill out paperwork from this time I was like 12 years old.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  You were the oldest?

• 10:24Stavros Halkias?

  I was the oldest.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  Okay. And, and you have brothers, right?

• 10:26Stavros Halkias?

  Two younger brothers.

• 10:27Speaker 03

  Okay. Wow. That's wild.

• 10:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah. So for me, it was definitely the like, and, and again, I guess you, you, it sounds like a very, it sounds like a cheerier immigration with your family. You know what I mean?

• 10:37Speaker 03

  When did your folks come over?

• 10:38Stavros Halkias?

  In the eighties.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:39Stavros Halkias?

  So they came, what happened was my, my mom's side of the family, they had moved in the seventies, when my mom was younger and she hated it. She like, uh, she, her dad just took a job and this is like, This is how Greek men behaved back then. He just like got offered a job in America. He was in Greece.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:00Stavros Halkias?

  Some guy at a coffee house like got a sick job in America for you. He's like, I'll take it. No, like, let me see what my wife and twenty and seventeen year old daughters think about this. He's like, gals were moving to America.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  Amazing, yeah.

• 11:14Stavros Halkias?

  And so she came back, she went back to Greece the second she could. I guess, actually, maybe they moved when she was maybe nineteen. And she came back when she was like twenty one, met my dad in Athens. They decided to come visit in nineteen eighty one. Like, they're like, we're gonna go for a year, save some money in America, come back to Greece, just never came back. So it was like this weird.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  That's, yeah, I hear you.

• 11:39Stavros Halkias?

  It was like this weird, there was no like, there was no like, the American dream. There was like, and the way my dad looked at it was like,

• 11:45Speaker 03

  We're stuck in America.

• 11:46Stavros Halkias?

  Truly, my dad was like, not only that, I mean, obviously, he wanted to do it, but as soon as shit started going bad, he was like, my fucking bitch-in-law's trapped me in America. My dad has completely rewritten history where it's like, it was never his idea to come to America. Meanwhile, he still like, we would have been better off. Fine, everyone in my generation does not have a job. The financial collapse, it's like, everyone had ten years of the worst. Like, it was just, it is, you cannot argue that we would have been better off, but he still is like, I fucked up so bad. He like apologizes to me that we didn't grow up in Greece. I'm like, my life's fucking awesome, dude. If we were in Greece, I would be struggling to find big and tall clothing.

• 12:33Stavros Halkias?

  I would be doing like, the level of comedy in Greece is like sub Telemundo.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  Sure, sure.

• 12:38Stavros Halkias?

  I would be fucking, I would be like, putting blackface on and chasing a midget around on television. That's what I, that's what I'd be trying to do. Like, that would be my career in comedy, but it's just like, so it's just, it's fun to hear a like, positive immigrant story because.

• 12:54Speaker 03

  Or you might have been like a guy with like, you know, like some big olive field who's like, the funniest fuck.

• 13:00Stavros Halkias?

  You know, that's true.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  Guy's the funniest fucking dude.

• 13:02Stavros Halkias?

  I might have had a great life, I had some sunlight, picking olives.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  I think about it, because it's like.

• 13:08Stavros Halkias?

  Nice tan wife.

• 13:09Speaker 03

  Right.

• 13:09Stavros Halkias?

  Nothing wrong with that.

• 13:10Speaker 03

  The, the, the quality of life, of course, in the Mediterranean, and all they do is drink olive oil.

• 13:15Stavros Halkias?

  They just hang out, yeah.

• 13:17Speaker 03

  And, and yeah, they're all just. Sunkissed and happy.

• 13:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  Of course, you know, it's very different. I think about it a lot, like just being there in the spring, like seeing guys that like on the street, like friends of the family and people I got along with. There was this one dude who deliver delivers water on a on a scooter. And he's like this bigger dude. And and he's got like the scooter, you know, he's a big guy and the scooter like dropped because of him. And then he's got this fucking rat trap on the back with like tons of water. And it's like.

• 13:49Stavros Halkias?

  Just going up a mound with no guardrails.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, just like cobble something up and downstairs and shit. And he's like, and the guy couldn't be more chill, you know?

• 14:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  I see him and and we're in the, you know, the area that literally my, you know, my mom and her siblings grew up in, that one of my aunts is still in the the old place that they grew up in. And and it's that romantic, like right in Napoli, right behind like the Piazza del Plebiscito with the, it's just, you know, with the clotheslines going back and forth. It's very Italian, very Napolitan. And this guy's just like, when I was leaving town, like I'm walking down that street and I'm, my wife and I, and we're going back to the thing, going to the, we gotta drive to Rome and then get out of there. And we're leaving the family and it's gnarly and we're a little bit misty.

• 14:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:38Speaker 03

  And this guy, wait, stato forte, io amo me. I'm like, this fucking guy, you know, they're, they are so joyful there.

• 14:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yeah.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  Doing whatever. And he's got this like little like garage kind of, you know, corner store with just provisions and water.

• 14:57Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 14:58Speaker 03

  Couldn't be more chill. And I look at that guy and go, I don't know, maybe.

• 15:02Stavros Halkias?

  His life is better. That is the actual, damn dude, maybe my dad is right. No, we've we've still been miserable because we have, you know, his genes and DNA. Like, that's the thing. It's like wherever he would have been, we wouldn't have been good. But but the Greek life is, and Italian, whatever, it's like, there is something so nice about, because the whole American thing is you have to fucking, if you work hard as fuck and get enough money, you can like, what, take time off to go on the beach that this guy just goes to?

• 15:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:34Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I can get, I can, if I work really fucking hard, I can take two months off and live in Greece and like. Take a walk in the same street and like, yeah, if this guy like even the people in the generation that had no their jobs weren't that great. It's like they work a little bit. They fucking have coffee. They go to the fucking beach. Like I truly, my cousin in Greece. I that motherfucker has a sick life and he actually is an actor weirdly. Like he's gotten into comedy. He's found one of the weird only comedy jobs in Greece that was not too far off from what I described earlier about what my well, the level of comedy I would be doing. But hey, yeah, he's funny. He's good at it, whatever. Time of his life, dude.

• 16:17Stavros Halkias?

  He would just go, he would just like work at a bar for three months and come back with less money. But he was just on vacation. Just like he's basically just paying his way for a vacation. And there is the, there is the, the philosophical thing of like work hard as shit to be able to go on vacations that people with less money just have that let quality of life. And it's like, maybe that's it. Maybe that actually is it. Cause they have an actual, they have actual, uh, uh, community too. Like, yeah, truly they know people. They still live there around it. And it's like, um, that's why my, my goal is to for real be a three months in Greece guy.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  Really?

• 16:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  Good for you.

• 16:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. But it's still, we're still a ways away. But it's like, you know, kind of what I'm saying is like shit, shit goes good for another, you know, five, 10 years.

• 17:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:06Stavros Halkias?

  I start just fucking late summer, early fall. Don't even fucking try and find me.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  I love it.

• 17:11Stavros Halkias?

  I'm on the fucking beach, baby.

• 17:13Speaker 03

  I'm all for it, man. Yeah. This, this trip in particular was like a sort of a thing where my wife was like, we should really consider.

• 17:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 17:21Speaker 03

  And we're, you know, we're, we're, uh, you know, it's like, it's like, whatever. We're, we're, it, it's like thinking, but we don't have kids, but we're, we're trying for kids and stuff. So, so.

• 17:33Stavros Halkias?

  That might even be a better reason. Yeah. Well, like you might actually want to have kids there.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  But also like they need to.

• 17:40Stavros Halkias?

  Smart move, younger wife, by the way.

• 17:42Speaker 03

  Cheers. Thank you.

• 17:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you being like, I'm thinking about it. You gotta get a younger wife to be able to do that.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  So I, I, you know, she's like, and she's, you know, from Northern California and Irish, you know? So she's like, but she took to the whole Italian thing and, and also did her DNA and has like a, a grandfather who's Greek.

• 18:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  Grand, a great grandfather. So she's always talking, but she's like, I want to go back there and see someone who's like, I'm like, you're not going to find some Irish looking, there's not going to be some, you know, lady who looks.

• 18:17Stavros Halkias?

  This guy's DNA has been bleached out.

• 18:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 18:20Stavros Halkias?

  This guy's not, it's not.

• 18:21Speaker 03

  There's not going to be someone there who looks like Jennifer Connelly.

• 18:24Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 18:25Speaker 03

  Serving you squid. But, uh, so she's like, you know, we have kids, they need to know about this side and they need to, blah, blah, blah. And maybe we could, you know, figure out, you know, like get a place for a little bit, you know, like that sort of thing. Because truly like, and your cousin and the family back there, they do live incredible lives.

• 18:43Stavros Halkias?

  They live a better life. It's not even close.

• 18:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're going to the beach with, you know, and it was really nice because it reminded me of like childhood because it, you know, later on, everyone goes their separate ways, not the, not my aunts and uncles and all them, you know, my mom and dad and everything. They are all very tight, but the cousins, we don't do a good job of keeping together, but over there they sure fucking do.

• 19:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  And, uh, you know, we go to this beach and it's like, I, I look around and we're all just like, wherever, you know, sit here, sit there, like thing and a fucking chairs and everyone's sitting together and, and, you know, people are bringing, you know, baked pastas and stuff like this. And just like stuffing buns.

• 19:18Stavros Halkias?

  Just hanging out.

• 19:19Speaker 03

  And stuff. Yeah. And just like hanging out and then just going into the water and thing and you lose track of time and let's go get gelato. And everyone's.

• 19:27Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, the day is perfect. And we, my family, we have, uh, my, my uncle has just had untreated diabetes that he's, has not let him slow down, has not slowed him down one bit in terms, like he looks worse every time I see him.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 19:44Stavros Halkias?

  But boy, oh boy, does that motherfucker know where to eat. And it was like having like a, a much less charming Anthony Bourdain. Like in the family, like that's the cool thing about when you go over there. It's like they just know shit.

• 19:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:59Stavros Halkias?

  They just, they actually like, they talk, they have like, and we would just, anywhere we were, they would take us to a beach and he would like route it to like a specific restaurant. And it's just like, he doesn't have fucking Yelp, Google, any of that shit. He's just like, I heard a guy makes incredible goat here.

• 20:16Speaker 03

  Right.

• 20:16Stavros Halkias?

  So we're gonna go check it out.

• 20:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:19Stavros Halkias?

  He was always fucking right.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  That's fucking great.

• 20:20Stavros Halkias?

  I did, yeah, it's, it's a, it is fucking awesome. This episode is brought to you by Visible, the smartest upgrade this season. Isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises, we love it. We just got a new assistant, she loves it, she's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and

• 21:05Stavros Halkias?

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• 21:44Stavros Halkias?

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• 22:29Speaker 04

  But and and and did you, so you said most of your family's over there. Did you have relatives here too or in Canada?

• 22:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, they, they, I had.

• 22:37Speaker 04

  You had a couple?

• 22:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:39Speaker 04

  Cuz the old man was like, again, it was sort of his like thing like, so there was,

• 22:45Speaker 03

  there was two sets of, you know, like an aunt and uncle and an aunt and uncle. And then my, my uncle John was, was 19 and he married my aunt Kathy, who was, you know, Canadian girl. So, and there were already,

• 22:59Speaker 03

  there were already six kids were already born.

• 23:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, wow.

• 23:03Speaker 03

  That came over from, you know, like my brother and sister were older and four of my other cousins, if I'm not mistaken, were born there. And then, you know, whatever, like five or six more were born in Canada.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  So you guys got to.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we were all.

• 23:16Speaker 04

  Replacing the, the population fast.

• 23:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. And the Italians would come over and we would go there and, and yeah, so it was a very, it was nice, you know.

• 23:28Speaker 04

  Sorry, did you have like, because we always had Greek school. Did they have anything like, or you just learned Italian in the house? Or they never made you go to after school?

• 23:36Speaker 03

  No, no. So we, yeah, we just kind of learned, uh, yeah, just, I mean, I just kind of, and I speak kind of a broken, I don't have a huge vocabulary and I don't speak good Italian. I only speak really Napolitan, Napolitan dialect. Which, you know, those, those, those.

• 23:53Speaker 04

  That's fascinating.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  Things are very different from one another. So in Rome, people are like, what are you trying to say?

• 24:00Speaker 04

  Who is this hillbilly?

• 24:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:03Speaker 04

  That's really, yeah, because that's another thing that's super fascinating about immigrant shit is like, the, a lot of the Greek I speak is.

• 24:10Stavros Halkias?

  Like frozen in carbonite from the 1980s. Cause my parents came in the eighties.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:17Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, you definitely experienced this with Albanian, right? Like you, they speak like an old, like a, you kind of speak like formal old Albanian.

• 24:25Speaker 04

  When I hear like Albanians of the north speaking, like I don't understand it at all. It's crazy. And it's similar with like, you know, I feel like Kosovars have like a thick accent too. And like.

• 24:37Stavros Halkias?

  Whenever you say Kosovar, it sounds like a slur. Cause of the little Albanian hate you put on it. Let's, we also like to ask our guests, Will, what, what do you know about Albanians? Did they have any over in Vancouver?

• 24:49Speaker 03

  I had no idea that you would call someone from Albania an Albaniar.

• 24:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no. No, he, he's talking about Kosovars.

• 25:00Speaker 03

  Oh, Kosovar.

• 25:01Stavros Halkias?

  He's coming.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  I already forgot the word.

• 25:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's how little he respects Albanians.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  About.

• 25:06Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 25:07Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 25:08Stavros Halkias?

  That's good. That's fascinating because Albanians, I guess, didn't make it to Canada.

• 25:12Speaker 03

  No.

• 25:13Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 25:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, I guess not.

• 25:14Speaker 04

  They made it to Italy, though. I got family in Italy.

• 25:16Stavros Halkias?

  That is true, because it's close. Isn't Albania right there?

• 25:19Speaker 04

  A lot of Albanians like fled to Italy in like the seventies or eighties or something.

• 25:23Stavros Halkias?

  They were mad when they found out it wasn't still fascist. They're like, what the fuck is this? I heard this was gonna be a cool racist paradise. Now I'm the one who's at the bottom of the social hierarchy? This sucks.

• 25:39Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. I guess it's an east coast thing. I bet you they have them in Toronto. That's the other thing about, uh, I, I do feel like there are, I feel like there's probably Albanians. But just, because they're all over the, they're on, actually, my, my Lyft driver was telling me they got Albanians here, which I didn't know.

• 25:56Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 25:57Stavros Halkias?

  LA having Albanians, I didn't.

• 25:59Speaker 04

  I haven't heard too much about Albanians in LA, but I bet they're, we're everywhere, man.

• 26:05Speaker 03

  We're right under your nose. Heroes, wasn't John Belushi Albanian?

• 26:08Stavros Halkias?

  That's a hard one. I unfortunately, I do have to cede that to Eldis. And that really is a sore subject in terms of our Greek versus Albanian supremacy, which is a huge. Greek people are very racist towards Albanians traditionally. And that's our fun little thing we like to keep alive here on Stoddies World. We like to keep old world, white on white, regional racism. Balkan racism.

• 26:36Speaker 03

  You know, my old man had a, my old man was like best friends with a Greek guy that he worked with. He came over, Andy, Andy Dukas, his name was Dukas. And he was great, you know, he looked like, yeah, he, he was like, you know, he's a Danny DeVito type looking, you know, little guy with chest hair and the chains, the whole nine. And yeah, it was fucking, he was so awesome, because my old man was very, you know, he's a very quiet guy. And it was only when Andy would call the house or come over, he would call the house and he'd, you know,

• 27:09Speaker 03

  you'd answer the phone, "Hey, good man!"

• 27:13Speaker 03

  "Hi, Mr. Dukas." "Hey, your father's home." Yeah.

• 27:19Speaker 03

  And the old man would come over to the phone. "Hey, good man!" "Hey, good man!" That was like, it was that. And, uh, yeah, when those guys would get together, it was like, yeah, it was fucking Uzo and, and, you know, and he set and just fucking, you know, with the, they go in the yard and they don't wear shorts in the yard. They just pull their slacks up to here to get sun.

• 27:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  And their shirts all the way undone. And they both worked at Hotel Vancouver.

• 27:45Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 27:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, they were great.

• 27:47Stavros Halkias?

  That's a nice little bromance right there.

• 27:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was awesome. And we would go to like, uh, Greek weddings.

• 27:52Stavros Halkias?

  They're fun.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  Because of his family.

• 27:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  And then I remember the Greek word for sit is katse.

• 28:00Stavros Halkias?

  Katse.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  And that means cock in Italian.

• 28:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 28:03Speaker 03

  Katso, katso, hey, katso dura. So, which is, you don't say that in the house, so. So, everyone's like, katso, katso, katso.

• 28:13Speaker 03

  How come no one's upset? How come no one's angry? How come no one's getting slapped across the room for saying katso? Hey, katso, katso.

• 28:18Stavros Halkias?

  Katso is cock, that's good to know.

• 28:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, katso. Well, katso, we say katso, but katso. All katso, you know.

• 28:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, is that where ugat's?

• 28:27Speaker 03

  Ugat's, I think ugat's is all katso, like my dick, like, you know, like, fuck, yeah, right, my dick.

• 28:33Stavros Halkias?

  Like gabagool, basically, it's like a bastardization.

• 28:35Speaker 03

  Of capicol, Italians say capicol.

• 28:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, there we go. We got a real Italian here first.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, when they say gabagool, you know, but whatever, Italians. Look, the whole like Italian-American thing, look, again.

• 28:49Stavros Halkias?

  No, the episode of Sopranos.

• 28:51Speaker 03

  What?

• 28:52Stavros Halkias?

  I'm sorry to cut you off, but the episode of Sopranos where they.

• 28:54Speaker 03

  Go to Italy, one of the funniest, I don't know if you. I haven't seen it. Can I, can I, let me admit something awful here. Yeah. I, and it's very interesting that you bring up The Sopranos. I'm on episode, I'm on episode two. Wow. I've never watched The Sopranos. Then you got that, he did that great sketch. The Sopranos, uh, The Sopranos edited for TV. It was so fucking funny. We did a lot of Sopranos. Yeah, we did. Yeah, where they can't. Where they get. They push. You can't even say, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Motherf- but, um, yeah, I, you know, it's weird. Yeah, I never watched it cause I kinda. Back at Mad TV, you get like research tapes. You go and I watched the, I guess I watched the pilot back in the day.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  Cause that's all there was to, to research the, the impression. And then did the impression and this is, this is even more embarrassing than not watching. My reason, but I just remember early on, like everyone going, oh, that fucking show's amazing. I'm like, I know, I know. I bet it's incredible. I fucking, I, I love James Gandolfini. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's incredible and Edie Falco and you know, it's like for sure, they're just killers. And I, I, I just can't watch it. Why? This is so dumb. This is such an actor-y fucking thing. Cause I, this is really, it's a stupid selfish actor thing. Unburden yourself. Maybe someone will call in with this kind of problem. I was doing an impression and I, but I, I'll be like, I know I would.

• 30:18Speaker 03

  Every time I would watch it, I would go, should've done that. He does that, not this. And I see plenty. For your impression. Right. So I see plenty of people that do a much better James Gandolfini. And it's like, oh yeah, no, it's more in the nose. I should've been more, or whatever. Like, so that's just enough for me for half a second to go. Yeah, I'll watch it. And then 20 years goes by. It just would've annoyed you to catch things you didn't nail in your impression. Is that what it is? Yeah, but maybe not for the past, ooh, I don't know, 18 years. Like I could've, like, what am I doing? You could even say like, it would've made you better.

• 30:54Stavros Halkias?

  At the impression.

• 30:55Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, but then it's over and then you're done with man TV and then you're never doing it again. And yeah, so I literally, that's like a weird thing. It's like, yeah.

• 31:05Stavros Halkias?

  Well, dude, yeah.

• 31:06Speaker 03

  Same reason I'll, I'd stopped listening to Limp Bizkit and I feel like I robbed myself because I did a Fred Durst impression. I'm like, ooh, I didn't get the nuances.

• 31:15Stavros Halkias?

  Two of the greatest American works of art.

• 31:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:18Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm Sopranos and.

• 31:20Speaker 03

  No, of course I listen to Limp Bizkit nonstop.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  I'm not missing out on Limp, but uh, I'm really not.

• 31:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Sorry to you.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  I gotta watch it. I'm sorry.

• 31:30Stavros Halkias?

  I think you're going to love, there is an arc where they go to Italy.

• 31:34Speaker 03

  Sounds insane.

• 31:35Stavros Halkias?

  And it's, I think it was, it's, I think you'll, I think what you were about to say is what that episode is where the whole Italian American thing that you were getting at.

• 31:42Speaker 03

  It's, it's interesting. Yeah. And, and we're watching it now because I can't, and it was one of those things where my wife's like, what the fuck? Like we have to.

• 31:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  But uh, yeah, the, the, I feel like, you know, and whatever, I guess, I don't know if this is a slur, but the Italians, you know, the Italians in New York.

• 31:59Stavros Halkias?

  I love it. I love sowing discord among your ranks. This is my plan.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  Look.

• 32:04Stavros Halkias?

  Divide and conquer.

• 32:05Speaker 03

  But in many ways, in many ways, they're way more Italian than me because they have the family together and whatever. I think that Italian Americans are, you know, they, they have a pride there unto themselves that is extremely Italian. It's very family and it's okay that they're cooking chicken parmigiana and there's no such fucking thing. But uh.

• 32:27Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, it is good.

• 32:28Speaker 03

  The parmigiana, first of all, you guys, with the Parmesan, what is that? No, parmigiano, that's, it comes from. So uh, and a lot of the eggplant parmigiana, you know, like maybe uh, barely any cheese, just a little.

• 32:41Stavros Halkias?

  Just a little sprinkling.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  Little something, but uh, because I gotta go to the beach. Yeah, yeah. You gotta fry it down, sweat it down.

• 32:48Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, don't fucking, I was about to have a heart attack if eggplant parm was it fried.

• 32:52Speaker 03

  Oh my God.

• 32:53Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I love a nice fry. Eggplant fried zucchini.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 32:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's nice.

• 32:57Speaker 03

  See, that's the thing about about Mediterranean. You know, guys raised Mediterranean like you and me. I do feel like maybe this is different from a lot of the Italian Americans and, you know, sort of Mediterranean that are, you know, in New York and shit or whatever for generations. We love breezy vegetables.

• 33:17Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 33:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:18Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 33:19Speaker 03

  That's what's saving, you know, you and I. It's just breezy vegetables.

• 33:24Stavros Halkias?

  And it's olive oil.

• 33:25Speaker 03

  Clean and, yeah.

• 33:26Stavros Halkias?

  It's not deep fried. You have to flip it.

• 33:28Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 33:28Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? It's, yeah, when you have to flip your vegetables, that shouldn't even count as fried.

• 33:33Speaker 03

  That's not.

• 33:33Stavros Halkias?

  As far as I'm concerned.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  It's not submerged.

• 33:35Stavros Halkias?

  If the oil does not submerge it, it's fucking, might as well be steamed as far as I'm concerned.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  And now it's so funny that it's like, everything you hear is like, oh, olive oil is great for you.

• 33:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  And, and yeah, and I'm like, okay, good. That's why my heart didn't explode when I was 18, so.

• 33:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you always, you were a chubster from the jump?

• 33:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, you?

• 33:58Stavros Halkias?

  Love, oh, yeah.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:59Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:00Stavros Halkias?

  There was, there was definitely a moment, I'd probably, I was kinda chubby and then like, second, third grade, never looked back from there. We hit the ground running in second and third grade. I believe you were about the same, Eldis, is that correct? Did you have a moment where you?

• 34:15Speaker 04

  I, I don't know, just, when, when did I get like, pretty fat, you know, like?

• 34:20Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you're not as fat now as you, you had fatter times in your life, for sure.

• 34:23Speaker 04

  Maybe when I was a kid.

• 34:25Stavros Halkias?

  As a kid, you were, you were kinda, you were fatter, for sure.

• 34:27Speaker 04

  But I don't know, I feel like I've always just been like, tall, fat, goofy, like, my whole life, pretty much.

• 34:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, that is true. That is true.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  How long have you guys known each other?

• 34:34Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, literally kindergarten.

• 34:37Speaker 04

  Pre-K.

• 34:37Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 34:39Stavros Halkias?

  Pre-K, we weren't friends. I didn't like the cut of his jib in pre-K, but.

• 34:43Speaker 03

  It was the beard. You didn't like his beard?

• 34:48Stavros Halkias?

  It was, he was the one, I've said it before, but he was the only person who was like, more foreign and poorer than me. And it was like me being like an elitist American who's like, who's this fucking refugee? From Albania? I'm too fucking good to hang out with this. This cocksucker doesn't have Nintendo. What does he have to offer me? But very quickly, Eldis's family were a bunch of winners. They got themselves internet before my family. I had to go over to his house to sort of, not even watch porn, but just like pull up bikini pictures of like foxy brown. And we would be like, nice.

• 35:23Speaker 03

  Cindy Margolis picture that takes like all night to download.

• 35:26Stavros Halkias?

  And watch like MTV, they had cable before. Cause my family didn't get cable. The reason we got cable at all was because satellite TV could get Greek stuff. And that, that wasn't until second or third grade. So for most, when I was a little kid, we didn't have anything cool. Eldis, Eldis had fucking, Eldis had cable.

• 35:44Speaker 03

  Guys had the multicultural channels and all that.

• 35:47Stavros Halkias?

  They were trying to assimilate. No, no, they didn't. They had straight up American cool shit. The stuff I wasn't allowed to look at.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  Oh, you were watching a lot of Greek.

• 35:54Stavros Halkias?

  I had the only, we got, we got the most basic cable in third grade because it came with like the three Greek channels. And my dad would watch that. And so we got like, actually that's when I got Comedy Central. Um, and you know, was watching like half hour specials and being like a, a snobby, like as a kid, this is how much of a little fucking prick I was. I was, I would watch it and be like, I could do better.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 36:21Stavros Halkias?

  I would be literally 10 years old and be like, kinda lazy. Just so, such a fucking dickhead. But, but yeah, when I was like, you know, seven, if I wanted to go watch MTV, had to go to Eldis's apartment.

• 36:36Speaker 03

  That's wild.

• 36:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:37Speaker 03

  That's cool. Did you always know you wanted to be a comedian?

• 36:40Stavros Halkias?

  I think, I think on some level, I mean, we did like school plays from the time we were like second grade and like, I liked performing. I was always a fucking. Fucking little fucking attention whore like from being a bait like I would play the little fake guitar. In front of everybody when my mom would have her friends over. They have video of me shushing another baby is trying to sing and I'm like ah ah ah ah. It's kind of my time right now. I'm like back to the drums pal.

• 37:10Stavros Halkias?

  I was a fucking asshole. I was a diva as a fucking three year old. But yeah, I was always sort of like, and then I definitely did have the immigrant guilt stuff of. No, you have to get us out of debt. You have to be a lawyer and I like tested well. I was good at standardized tests. I think my parents mistakenly thought that meant I was like a genius. My mom over, I don't know if your mom was like this, the oh believes in you too much. Like yeah, thinks I'm smarter than I am by an order of magnitude.

• 37:42Speaker 03

  I I think that has a lot to do with, you know, it's interesting being, you know, being um, being an immigrant. When my folks came over, I feel like, you know, like my brother and sister are nine and 11 years older than me. And I feel like by the time they were, you know, they're like 12, 13. They know way more than their parents do about the Canadian experience. Being a north, North America and an English speaking society and in the West, you know. And I think that has a lot to do with it. I think, I think that. And maybe it's specific to the, to the time, but I think it applies in the seventies and also the eighties that it's like. It's like, oh, you know, this kid knows the way things work in a way that I just don't.

• 38:27Speaker 03

  They've been in the system and savvy. So there is sort of this thing that the kid, that the parents look at the kids and go. You, you know what's how to get moving here, right?

• 38:37Stavros Halkias?

  You could figure this out.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  And this test must mean a lot because they give it to you. So that must mean it's important. Yeah, I, I, you know, I don't know. I, I feel like by the time I was around, because I was the youngest, they were kind of like.

• 38:50Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, yeah, 10 years younger is hilarious.

• 38:53Speaker 03

  It, it was, yeah, it was, it's.

• 38:56Stavros Halkias?

  Fully not planned at all.

• 39:01Stavros Halkias?

  We had a buddy who had a, a kind of a similar situation, immigrant, immigrant, and then just like pops helped himself. The one too many strokes and out comes their little brother. That's you, man. You know, that was, that was a little too much hanging out with his Greek friend at a wedding. That was a little too much.

• 39:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just, it's good in the coffee. We're having coffee. Uh, yeah, I feel like later on, I like I, they were different parents. It was probably extremely stressful. I know it was.

• 39:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:32Speaker 03

  For them. And, um, and then when I came around, it was kinda like, what? I'm a fucking fat white boy. Thanks for the pasta.

• 39:43Stavros Halkias?

  Fat goofy white boy. And you've always been like the mascot of your family. Cause you were the baby, you know what I mean?

• 39:50Speaker 03

  And I was a goof, you know, my mom's hilarious. She's a very funny person and her side of the family is very, very funny, very animated, always singing, laughing, dancing. They're just the whole, you know, and, and, uh, my, my dad's side, not so much. So, uh, but I definitely took after my mom's side and, and was, yeah. You know, I was a class clown and all that shit. And it was just like, what I can do. And I feel like, this is why I ask, because I do feel like it, a lot of it is like, I'm gonna do this.

• 40:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  Right? And I used to watch movies and go like, like, oh my, here's my idols. They're fucking amazing.

• 40:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 40:27Speaker 03

  But the guy who, that, that guy who's way down the call sheet, you know, the guy who has like a run in with your hero.

• 40:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  I can do that.

• 40:35Stavros Halkias?

  I can do that for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Put me in one scene.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:38Stavros Halkias?

  Let me be the weird guy. I recently played a fat weirdo on a bus that the hot leads of a romantic comedy run into. That was like, that's the kinda shit that's like, perfect.

• 40:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:49Stavros Halkias?

  Let me annoy two like, like, you know, like 20 something actors.

• 40:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:55Stavros Halkias?

  By being like, you know, by cursing it like some beautiful boy and girl, you know what I mean? Like, that's the kinda stuff where, you know, perfect for.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  Uh, where you, and you feel like, and you kind of as a performer, you're gonna like, what? That's what people are gonna remember, right? And they'll be like, oh yeah, there was a scene where the fucking guy gives the two people shit. I didn't care for them anyway. I always say that my dream, you know, like as a kid, if I could even just be the guy who's like, you can't park here. I always, that's my guy. Like, you can't park here would be.

• 41:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  So anything above that has been way too fortunate for me.

• 41:36Speaker 00

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• 43:35Stavros Halkias?

  So it was like always acting and stuff.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:37Stavros Halkias?

  You came up through like, I'm gonna guess improv stuff?

• 43:40Speaker 03

  You know, mostly just straight up acting.

• 43:42Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 43:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, it's weird. I, I, so in Vancouver, they shoot a lot of stuff and they still do, of course. They shoot a lot of stuff now and they did back then too. So I, you know, I always wanted to be an actor. I saw, it's a very predictable list of like, you know, like John Candy is my idol.

• 44:00Stavros Halkias?

  He's the man.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  And then, you know, from there, you know, a very predictable list from, you know, all the SCTV and Saturday Night Live.

• 44:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 44:08Speaker 03

  And on down and Monty Python and all of it. And, and in Living Color and Kids in the Hall and, and. But I, I really is, as a, as a little guy was like watching, you know, Candy and Ackroyd and Belushi and Levy and all of them. And just being like, this is, and Cleese and everyone. And this is what I want to do. And then.

• 44:27Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome, dude.

• 44:28Speaker 03

  But I, I, there was, you know, I got into the plays and shit in high school and elementary school and doing all that. Was really like, this is the only thing I want to do.

• 44:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  And then, you know, 14, 15, I started, you know, kind of just crashing some auditions downtown. And, and there was enough going on.

• 44:47Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome. Yeah, yeah.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  We had a magazine, like just the, or a paper, the Georgia Strait. You go in the back and here's some things. And I would literally, I would take the bus downtown, uh, cause I was in a little, you know, uh, sort of little enclave out there. Farming and fishing town, like 30 minutes out. And I would take the, take the bus and go to some audition. And then, you know, gotta get, and then get fucking fries and gravy somewhere and be out of money.

• 45:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  And then go walk into the Hotel Vancouver where the old man was working in the lobby lounge back then. And I go, Dad, Dad. And he's like, Hey, William. What are you doing here? You know, it's like, this is, it's school time.

• 45:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  And I'm like.

• 45:29Stavros Halkias?

  So you would cut to go audition?

• 45:31Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck yeah. I never, I never did any of that.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  Never like, like, like, oh, he has a thing. My parents didn't know about it. And then I go, I had an audition. Dad, I had an audition for the season. My um audition, what is it audition? And I'm like, I need, you know, a buck fifty to get, okay, don't tell your mom, okay? And, and like later, and then I, and then I started booking some stuff and I was fortunate enough to start working at like fifteen, sixteen. And then, you know, you're supposed to go to school while you're on set. And I just didn't do, I didn't, I didn't tell the fucking school. I just was gone for a week.

• 46:14Stavros Halkias?

  Just truant.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then I would come back and they go, where was Willie? And it's like, I was doing a TV show.

• 46:20Stavros Halkias?

  I love that.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  And they're like, oh.

• 46:23Stavros Halkias?

  What was the first thing? Do you remember like the first?

• 46:25Speaker 03

  Yeah. The first thing I did was I did three episodes of this show called, this I fucking, I, it's just such a Canadian. It's such early nineties Canadiana to me.

• 46:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:36Speaker 03

  It was a show called Neon Rider.

• 46:38Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 46:39Speaker 03

  And the pitch of this show was there's this Michael Landon type, this guy.

• 46:43Stavros Halkias?

  So shitty Knight Rider, Canadian Knight Rider?

• 46:45Speaker 03

  Oh, uh, that would be way cooler. No, this was about a guy, uh, played by Winston Record, rest in peace, was an actor who sort of had this kind of, oh, if we're looking at it, yeah, here we are. There he is. And Neon Rider was a show about this guy who had a ranch and he would come down to the city and pick up teens that, yeah, no, stay with me. I know, I know. He would get kids that are, that are.

• 47:16Stavros Halkias?

  At youth, no parents.

• 47:18Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 47:18Stavros Halkias?

  At risk youth, no one would miss him.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  Precisely. Exactly. But he would go the other way.

• 47:25Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 47:26Speaker 03

  Cause what he would do is he would bring them up to the ranch. The social workers would be like, here's this kid. He's got this problem or whatever. And he'd take them up to the ranch and, you know, make them fucking bail hay and do all these things. And they'd have little, little sessions and talk and this and that. And it was, and then the, the kids would get it. And by the end, they hugged their. Parents.

• 47:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:46Speaker 03

  And.

• 47:47Stavros Halkias?

  Like a scared straight program.

• 47:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, like a nice Canadian where you ride horses and then you're good.

• 47:53Stavros Halkias?

  Fully in like written by a child molester.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 47:58Stavros Halkias?

  Trying to put that idea out in the public.

• 48:00Speaker 03

  Just to get around.

• 48:01Stavros Halkias?

  Put the idea into zeitgeist.

• 48:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:03Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, if a guy's taking fourteen year olds with a with a drug addict mom up to the ranch, he's doing good.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  He just wants them to raise a barn and learn about themselves.

• 48:12Stavros Halkias?

  Wants them to learn about the value of a hard day's work. That's it. He's not trying to suck them off.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 48:18Stavros Halkias?

  Definitely not.

• 48:19Speaker 03

  No.

• 48:20Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's crazy.

• 48:22Speaker 03

  And like a lot of shows in Canada probably got some government funding because it's about something good. It's like, hey, we should be doing this in real life, too. Let me take these kids up to the ranch.

• 48:32Stavros Halkias?

  Duck children.

• 48:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:34Stavros Halkias?

  Were you an at risk teen then?

• 48:36Speaker 03

  I was like one of the kids. I was a.

• 48:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  I was a kleptomaniac.

• 48:39Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 48:40Speaker 03

  And that was my thing.

• 48:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome, dude. I would. I guess I just assumed because you're, I mean, you're a great comedic. I mean, obviously, you're you're a good actor, but it's interesting that you approach it straight from just acting because you're so funny. I mean, truly so funny and so like all of like, just a very, just a like, I would have assumed improv because you're quick. And you're so good at like, character work, but I guess that's just by being a good actor who is funny, you can just do that. It's kind of, it's kind of like, almost like, oh, like, it is kind of, yeah, like candy or the like, that's all. It's it's cool to, yeah, that's awesome. You were just like, you would, did you want to be dramatic or no? You wanted to do comedy stuff?

• 49:21Speaker 03

  I I wanted to do both. Like, I I really like, I love, I love comedy and I kind of, you know, I always wanted to be on Saturday Night Live. And I was a kid, that whole thing.

• 49:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 49:31Speaker 03

  You?

• 49:32Stavros Halkias?

  Um, I just want, I honestly want to do stand up.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  Really?

• 49:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 49:36Speaker 03

  That's great.

• 49:36Stavros Halkias?

  I kind. Kind of, I was, the first thing was, just because you don't know stand up exists when you're little.

• 49:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:42Stavros Halkias?

  It was same stuff, the same fat guys. We watched the same fat guys. We're like, I wanna be John Candy. I wanna be.

• 49:51Stavros Halkias?

  And, but then when I saw stand up, something did click.

• 49:54Speaker 03

  That's great.

• 49:54Stavros Halkias?

  Where I was like, wait, this, and I still feel that now, where I've, I've been lucky to do a little acting, uh, this year.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  Congrats on your movie, bud.

• 50:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, thanks, dude. Appreciate it.

• 50:03Speaker 03

  That's awesome. It was really cool to see.

• 50:05Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, man.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  Because you, you are, and look, I have a great respect for stand up. Um, and I, and I, maybe, maybe, I don't know, maybe we have similar philosophies about it or views. I, I do feel like, you know, cause people go, oh, you're funny, you stand up. And it's like, no, these are different passions. Forget about completely different arts.

• 50:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 50:25Speaker 03

  But these are also different passions. And I watch what comedians do and the time you put in to get a joke. It doesn't matter how. Well, it's like, it doesn't matter how great you are at stand up and you are great at stand up. Cheers, come on.

• 50:39Stavros Halkias?

  Come on.

• 50:40Speaker 03

  No, hey, you.

• 50:41Stavros Halkias?

  Stop.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know, but no, it's, it's, it's incredible to see the discipline of it.

• 50:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, thank you.

• 50:47Speaker 03

  Going, you know, going and working, working around the country.

• 50:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, I see, it's bullshit. Stand up is bullshit. Like, let me stop you right there. It's, it's pretty easy. That's what I've learned acting is like, I used to think acting was bullshit and it's like, and it's sort of is, but like.

• 51:05Speaker 03

  It could be tricky.

• 51:06Stavros Halkias?

  I think it's like, here's what I will say. I think you could be eighty percent, you get to eighty percent, you could be not bad at acting pretty easy. To be good at it's very hard, I think. To get like the above percentile, stand up is the fucking easiest. Like, it's hard to get good at it. Once you're there, you're on autopilot, brother.

• 51:24Speaker 03

  You, you are, cause you're fucking funny.

• 51:27Stavros Halkias?

  I appreciate that.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  Feel like, and this is really, this is, I'm, let me just, this is gonna be very blunt.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  I feel like your, your art form is, has been under siege for years. Whenever stand-up gets hot, everyone's like, yeah, I'm me too.

• 51:44Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 51:44Speaker 03

  Because all you need is a microphone. It's like, there's some barrier to cross with acting or with,

• 51:50Stavros Halkias?

  True, true, true.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  With even being in a band or fucking playing sports and shit. But it's like, I feel like everyone thinks they can, not everyone, but people, you know, a lot of sociopaths, more of them can be getting to stand up. Whereas in, in, you know, acting or, or, you know, some of these other pursuits that are creative, it's a little harder. The barrier of entry is there. And, and I think that, you know, I think that that makes it even more special when someone is like, oh no, this is a, this is a great stand-up. I'm not just laughing because this is a fucking funny person. But what I mean by you going around everywhere and doing the stuff, it's like, I'll listen to stand-ups talk about, oh, that joke doesn't work. Forget about like this club or that club or whatever, but like regionally,

• 52:35Speaker 03

  you understand, which I'm fascinated by like, oh, don't try that there.

• 52:39Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I am interested in, actually for this tour, I really want to be more, um, like this next special, because the last special felt like I did kind of quick because I just wanted to get a Netflix special. I, everything I'd done had been on the internet, but this tour is going to go everywhere. And I even am trying to figure out international stuff because I really want to put the material through its paces. Like it's cool to put it everywhere and see exactly what you're talking about of like, how does it do here? How does it do there? And try and figure out, try and make it as airtight as I can. And I think it's fun. Like to me, it is fun as much as I don't respect it artistically. I love doing it. I just love doing it. I think it's a good time.

• 53:21Stavros Halkias?

  And, uh, it is honestly like an easier, like, uh, like logistical life. Once you get used to the travel, which I guess is very hard to get used to now that I'm saying it out loud.

• 53:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a lot of travel.

• 53:34Stavros Halkias?

  But, uh, but anyway, who cares?

• 53:36Speaker 03

  Look, but you're.

• 53:39Speaker 03

  No, I hear we, look.

• 53:41Stavros Halkias?

  But you're right about the under siege thing because it's even when it's not hot. It's the only, the problem with the art form is like, anyone who can get people in a room can say they're a stand up because, and it's not even when it's hot. It's like, you know, may he rest in peace. Dustin Diamond is the perfect example of like, it would be like, what's this guy just is doing this because he's broke and it was not good. You know what I mean? Like, and now it's like, if you can get people in a room, like I almost feel like stand up is, I just do it because I love it, but you have to kind of pop from other shit because no one really cares about stand up. They won't see you because you're stand up. You have to kind of like, you know, do podcasts, do clips.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  Well, you guys now, yeah, yeah. Watching the hustle. I mean, it's, it's incredible that.

• 54:30Stavros Halkias?

  It has become too much of a job, unfortunately.

• 54:32Speaker 03

  Well, I, you know, I look at, I look at podcasting as a, you know, there's so many positives and negatives and I love it, but it's like, it is kind of like, I, I do kind of feel like, man, you know, well, I'm having a great time. Here we are doing one.

• 54:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:47Speaker 03

  But, but it's like, I, I, it, it, in my opinion, it does suck a little bit that stand ups have to do that in order to get, and, and the people, because audiences out there, that's, it's just, we're all, we're all conditioned now to that's where we find funny people is, is on podcasts.

• 55:04Stavros Halkias?

  And some people will even be like, he's funnier on podcasts. And it's like, yeah, maybe you preferred, but it's like, it's just a completely different thing, but it is, you know, it is, it is funny, but who would have thought that this is how shit went, but who cares? Well, let's get back to, I wanted to ask you, since we're talking about acting, I want to ask you about a specific performance you gave. And this is my buddy, my buddy Nick Mullin. Uh, we watched this together and he was fascinated, we were both fascinated by it, but I want to talk about, do you remember the Law and Order episode you did?

• 55:34Speaker 03

  Oh, geez. You guys watched that?

• 55:36Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, I fucking, I wanted to ask you about it cuz it was fucking awesome. You were like, what were you trying to do like, and I'm not like, it felt like you were having a lot of fun on that, on that, on that Law and Order and you were like, I'm going to play this. Like you were over the top in an awesome way. You're like, well, I'm going to be a mad TV character in Law and Order. Because it was like, didn't you like fuck your daughter or something?

• 56:08Speaker 03

  No, my, my daughter, my daughter, my daughter had been abused by her music teacher.

• 56:16Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 56:17Speaker 03

  My daughter was, you know, a teenager and her, and is being, you know, fucking having a thing with her music teacher.

• 56:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  And then spoiler alert, at the end of the episode, you find out that my wife had always, they, and that that's not my daughter.

• 56:35Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. Oh, right. I remember somebody was fucking his own daughter.

• 56:39Speaker 03

  Right.

• 56:39Stavros Halkias?

  You were the victim.

• 56:41Speaker 03

  Right. So at the end of it, he's completely, and I just remember like, I'm like trying to get at him in the, in the precinct. And like you got Mariska Hargitay and Ice T holding you back. And you know what I'm saying?

• 56:55Stavros Halkias?

  You were playing, it was awesome cuz it was like, you, you gave Law and Order the subtlety it deserved. You know what I mean? It was like, it was like, you were, it was so, you were clearly having an awesome time. I hope I'm not disrespecting you to your, I hope you understand that I enjoyed it and I thought it was hilarious.

• 57:12Speaker 03

  I appreciate it.

• 57:13Stavros Halkias?

  Cuz it felt like you were doing it on purpose. You know what I mean? Like, cuz you are a good actor who, you know, like, they weren't, it's like a ridiculous thing and it was funny to see someone be like, we are going, I'm going to match this writing. Instead of pretending I'm doing Shakespeare. That a lot of people do.

• 57:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:30Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, I am gonna be go. You're like biting your fucking fist.

• 57:33Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm I'm crying in the in the courthouse in the court like. Dude. But like, but okay, but those are I'm. Here all I'm crying.

• 57:48Stavros Halkias?

  You are. You really were. I know.

• 57:50Speaker 03

  So, you know, look, here's the thing. It's funny.

• 57:52Stavros Halkias?

  I guess I'm just asking about your your philosophy going into that. Cause I would yeah, just I'm I loved that.

• 57:58Speaker 03

  Sometimes I feel like my career has two lanes.

• 58:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 58:01Speaker 03

  I like being I like doing extremely, you know, goofy, absurdist shit.

• 58:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:08Speaker 03

  And then on the other hand, I really love acting.

• 58:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  And I love finding I love doing dramatic stuff. Anytime I get to do it like, you know, I've done movies where it's like, no, it's like totally. And series where it's like.

• 58:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:22Speaker 03

  Completely serious and and I love it and I love playing the heavy and I love playing. Characters that are all far reaching, like a guy who's like just completely victimized and sad and finding that. And I really am an acting dork with that sort of stuff.

• 58:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, it's.

• 58:37Speaker 03

  So it's but there are to what you're saying, and that's very funny to to hear that you and your pal Nick.

• 58:43Stavros Halkias?

  We love that.

• 58:44Speaker 03

  There watching that smoked out like.

• 58:46Stavros Halkias?

  I think we did a whole episode of Come Town about it. I think we like we were just hanging out and we watched and we were like, yeah, I don't know where it is. I either we did or we talked about it between episodes, but I remember very vividly just how awesome that episode was.

• 59:01Speaker 03

  It's like there are times where I'm like, and this is to what you're saying. There are times where I'm like doing something extremely serious and I'll be like, there are people watching this going, I can't, I can't. You're not. That's not. And and I know that, but there are other people who don't know the other side of things. And they go like, yeah, that's what would happen, I guess.

• 59:20Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 59:21Speaker 03

  And their partner might be like, that's the fucking guy from the stupid or Mad TV. You just need to Fred Durst and now like, how are you taking? So there's always a thing where I'm sort of checking in with myself, but I cannot, I can not, that will never, and this is the fucking, this is even more embarrassing than the reason I haven't watched Sopranos. I will never, I can never, I could never sacrifice a character for a personal reason like that. Like, oh, I don't, I'm doing it sort of wink, wink on the, no, I do approach, I approach every single, because what I really dig about acting is playing, I really love

• 1:00:05Speaker 03

  the fantasy of it and playing completely different people. And as a kid, that's why I dug Sound Alive and stuff. It's like, these are the most fortunate performers in the world because they get to play five, six, seven different people in one episode. So I really do sink into the, it's funny, I do, I feel like I have two things, you know?

• 1:00:23Stavros Halkias?

  But I still think, I still think it's a, it's as a performance, because it would remind me of, it's like how Sandler in Punch Drunk Love, it was like, this is if Billy Madison was a real guy. It almost was, this is if a Will Sasso, like Mad TV character, was a real guy who was, who got ultra cucked and, and his daughter got molested all in one. This is how that guy would react. And it was fascinating from that perspective. I just loved it. I just wanted to.

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  No, I appreciate it. And I'm happy that you enjoyed it in any way that you did. Believe me, I'm not saying, I'm not like, because that.

• 1:01:04Stavros Halkias?

  Good, good, good.

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  Look, it's sort of like those Simpsons memes you see where it's like, when they do the 3D art of like, this is what they would look like as a real person. You don't want to see it.

• 1:01:13Stavros Halkias?

  You don't want to think about your own, you don't want to hear it dissected to your face this way? Is that what you're saying?

• 1:01:18Speaker 03

  No, I'm saying like the Adam Sandler thing of like, yeah, he's a fantastic fucking actor.

• 1:01:25Speaker 03

  Adam Sandler is Adam Sandler. When you think of that and you're like, oh, he's fucking hilarious and incredible candidate of movies and some of the funniest shit you've ever fucking seen. And now it's great that he's, you know, performing live again and doing all that shit.

• 1:01:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, special was great.

• 1:01:37Speaker 03

  Yeah. And it's like, but at the same time, I love watching him as a fucking actor.

• 1:01:42Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  And, uh, watching, and to me, it comes back to like the John Candy thing of like, one of the reasons he's my hero is like, you know, Planes, Trains and Automobiles is my favorite movie.

• 1:01:52Stavros Halkias?

  So fucking good.

• 1:01:53Speaker 03

  It's incredible.

• 1:01:54Stavros Halkias?

  So good.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  And as a kid, you're watching it as a broad studio comedy. And, you know, you're watching and it's like, you know, those aren't pillows and the car's on fire and all that shit. But when you get a little older and you realize, oh, this is a movie about loneliness.

• 1:02:09Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:02:10Speaker 03

  This is about a very lonely man. If that movie came out anywhere in the last, I would say 15 years, he wins an Oscar for best supporting actor or best actor.

• 1:02:19Stavros Halkias?

  I think you're probably right. Yeah.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  100%.

• 1:02:21Stavros Halkias?

  That, that is an incredible performance and you're right. It is like, I mean, those movies really were, that was, they really had lightning in a bottle. When, when it's like, you know, John Hughes, John Candy, Steve Martin, I mean, what they put together. And then when you hear about that movie and it was like, a thing I love, tight 90 minute movie.

• 1:02:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:39Stavros Halkias?

  But it was, the first cut's like three hours.

• 1:02:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've heard about this.

• 1:02:42Stavros Halkias?

  The editing of that is like so, that's like so, that makes you understand like how much goes into it. Cause like, they, that performance was always there and they found like such a stirring performance that was also so fucking hilarious. But yeah, that guy, you watch it now and we watched it like last, what's like six months ago. He really was like, it's a sad guy that you know, and you know, that guy who's just overly friendly.

• 1:03:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:07Stavros Halkias?

  And it's just a, yeah, great.

• 1:03:09Speaker 03

  It's a beautiful type. And it's like, that for me was like, I think there were things that I watched as a kid. That movie came out when I was 12 and I just remember loving, loving it immediately. And also there's my hero, John Candy doing this movie. Every movie that he was in, it was like, had to see it and I loved it. The thing about that though, and it's, it's the magic of John Hughes and John Candy together. And then Steve Martin is just playing it straight. Great straight man, yeah. No, you said you were going home. What are you doing here? Like just, just not afraid to play it straight. Has a couple of like goofy moments, couple tiny ones. Where he sort of sounds like Steve Martin. You stole it. He stole it. Like, but the rest of it is.

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  Totally. And, but it's still hilarious because they're playing it real. They're playing the situations real. I, I, I really got off on that as a kid and was like, that to me is, that's what I love. That, that illusion of creating character that by the end of 90 minutes, you're like, I know this guy. And even as a kid, the real incredible thing is it could capture the imagination of a little kid. And then now like, you know, as a grown ass man, I'm watching it going, I'll still pick up tiny things. Absolutely. My favorite part of the movie is, and these are the things that, that you just go like, does he know how, did he know how, like, did he know that?

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  Or is it just so inherent to the, or is he just so deep in the character that it is what it is? And it's just magic. Cause there's one part where they're in that hotel with the two, the two single beds. And they're drinking the little airplane vodkas. Is this a good combination? No. They're like the, the Doritos and the tequila. Get these, get these off the bed or I'm gonna kick them off. And then they start talking about, I'm afraid to look at my ass. I got those little marks on my ass. And they're laughing. And, and Candy goes into the bathroom and they're laughing and they're giggling back and forth and they're drunk. And Steve Martin goes, why do I feel like I'm in summer camp? And Candy's laughing in the bathroom and he goes, and he opens the door a crack and just goes,

• 1:05:24Speaker 03

  and closes it. And I'm like, as a kid, whatever. As an adult, I watch and I go like, he needs to share the same oxygen as that guy. He needs to be in the room with him. He is so fucking lonely. Yeah. He wanted to share that laugh. He couldn't.

• 1:05:38Stavros Halkias?

  Just like he wanted to be present in the moment for that exchange.

• 1:05:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:41Stavros Halkias?

  He couldn't just enjoy it. He needed to like.

• 1:05:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:44Stavros Halkias?

  Be a part, an active part of it.

• 1:05:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:47Speaker 03

  And it's like, uh, anyway, that's the kind of shit that.

• 1:05:50Stavros Halkias?

  I love it, dude. No, that's awesome. Yeah, I mean, I just fucking, I just, I never thought about it artistically. I literally just wanted to be a buffoon.

• 1:06:00Speaker 03

  I just literally. Oh, same here.

• 1:06:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I literally just wanted to do stand up and get pussy, to be completely honest with you.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  So you should go.

• 1:06:05Stavros Halkias?

  What's the closest way for me to get sucked off?

• 1:06:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you gotta do some Law and Order.

• 1:06:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:06:10Speaker 03

  Really play some. I would love it if, if anyone's listening.

• 1:06:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:06:15Speaker 03

  If anyone's listening, please, please.

• 1:06:19Stavros Halkias?

  I want to play that character.

• 1:06:20Speaker 03

  As a, well, you should be like my kid brother. Who's like fucking does the sa- gets in the same shit.

• 1:06:26Stavros Halkias?

  They should do that character as, it should be like fat comedian Hamlet, where it's like, we all play that role. It becomes like, you know what I mean? We all play that guy. And it's like, I wanna, I literally want to do a stage production of that script of Law and Order.

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  That is so fucking fucked. Everyone, everyone has to, every foot, fat Hamlet. Everyone has to do the fucking role.

• 1:06:52Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's so fucking good.

• 1:06:54Speaker 03

  We should look into that. We should look into doing a stage production of it. Fortunate to have, I mean, even though now he's, he's so, what he's done is incredible, but your pal Ethan Sopley.

• 1:07:04Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, he's the man.

• 1:07:04Speaker 03

  Just the man, like, and what he's done is, I love Ethan. I'm so in awe of what he's done. But yeah, Ethan's gotta go. We can be so fortunate to have a wonderful actor like Paul Walter Hauser.

• 1:07:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:07:15Speaker 03

  Everyone go through Josh Cass.

• 1:07:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:07:18Speaker 03

  Maybe Joshie will do it.

• 1:07:20Stavros Halkias?

  We'll figure it out.

• 1:07:20Speaker 03

  And just play that one, cause, because we'd all have a fucking take on it.

• 1:07:26Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone would have a different take.

• 1:07:27Speaker 03

  And be like, yeah, that was, yeah, Paul Walter Hauser's a killer. Have you seen Stavi's fucking? Go see him at the Pasadena Playhouse. It's fucking out of control. You know, like, everyone's gonna have a take on it.

• 1:07:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:07:42Speaker 03

  That's fucking great.

• 1:07:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's Shakespeare. That's gonna be, uh, we'll, we'll, we'll do that. But look, for the time, we gotta fucking.

• 1:07:48Speaker 03

  Hey, uh, hey, uh, hey, about, uh, Staking Shakespeare. Hey, all right, everybody. Hey, we're having a good time on the podcast. That's how we know.

• 1:07:55Stavros Halkias?

  Now you're warmed up, brother.

• 1:07:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, now we're warmed up.

• 1:07:56Stavros Halkias?

  Now you're ready to give some fucking advice. All right, now let's, now let's turn the mics on.

• 1:08:02Stavros Halkias?

  Now that we got, let me get the intro riffs going. We need you to fucking to guide some of our our lost our lost souls that have called in here, Will. So play us a couple calls here, Eldis.

• 1:08:18Speaker 00

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• 1:10:18Speaker 06

  Hey, Stavi, hey Eldis. I know you guys won't be getting to this call for probably a month or two after I ask it. So I won't worry about that other than to say I am still a fan of both of you. You're both fantastic and hell of a beautiful guests as well. Stavi, my question is related to, you know, your background, having immigrant parents. My girlfriend's parents are both like first generation off the boat immigrants. Her dad barely speaks English. In fact, it sounds a lot like your dad. And, you know, the difference being that her parents are still together. So their marriage sounds a lot like what your parents dealt with as well.

• 1:11:03Speaker 06

  I love this girl very much. We've been together for probably at this point, just about three years. And I really want to ask her to marry me. I want to also kind of like ask slash let her parents know that that's something I want to do. Her mom and I have a great relationship and her dad kind of sees me as like a pleasant little foreigner that his daughter brings around and, you know, she knows we're together and all that. But we don't interact very much. And I guess what I'm asking is, is there any way that I would go about connecting with these people

• 1:11:48Speaker 06

  beyond just kind of like the typical saying in English, I love your daughter very much. I'm willing to try, you know, learning Polish for that. I've tried learning a bit of it, but quote unquote, is it hard? So, yeah, any advice would be super appreciated. Love the pod, have been a huge fan forever and come back to Toronto and hope to see you soon. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Eldis, you're a legend. Don't listen to him. Albania, I'm sure is, you know, only a two out of 10, not a zero out of 10. All right. Thanks, guys.

• 1:12:29Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, okay. Well, hey, we're the Dreamboat Tour coming to Toronto. We're gonna be there in April, I think. Oh, this is that right? April or May, some shit like that? Interesting. Okay, so we got a, we got a guy who's trying to impress some, a potential Balkan father-in-law.

• 1:12:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:47Stavros Halkias?

  Asked for a hand in, basically he's trying to, he wants advice on how to connect. And he wants advice on essentially like, asking for the daughter's hand in marriage, I suppose, so. Connecting with immigrant in-laws is very interesting, because I've always, I've never, obviously, we're all on the opposite side of that.

• 1:13:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:08Stavros Halkias?

  And we're, for me, any woman I dated, my parents automatically, I feel like my mom liked them more. Just because they wanted me to have a girlfriend. They're like, this is great. Just have, get married, have grandchildren, get me grandchildren. They, my mom's pretty easy to win over, and my dad was never like. I guess dad and daughter stuff is different than like, son stuff, but.

• 1:13:35Speaker 03

  I would say food. I would say try to learn, look, everyone nowadays is cooking these TikTok, you know, cooking TikToks.

• 1:13:43Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:13:43Speaker 03

  Since the pandemic, you know, everyone's cooking everything. I would really, in my opinion, I would bring something over. And, and they're in Toronto, which is, you know, it's a foodie kinda place. I'm sure they're, they're, you know. I have friends that are Polish, they're super into their sausages and all that fucking stuff.

• 1:14:03Stavros Halkias?

  They're fucking, what are their little?

• 1:14:04Speaker 03

  Pierogies.

• 1:14:05Stavros Halkias?

  Pierogies, yes.

• 1:14:06Speaker 03

  So I would, honestly, I would, if there's a, and this might be a huge insult, though, if you bring food. Because you don't bring food, and you and I know this.

• 1:14:15Stavros Halkias?

  Imagine bringing your mom spaghetti. Where my mom, fucking, my mom a Greek thing. I think maybe.

• 1:14:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe that's a bad idea.

• 1:14:24Stavros Halkias?

  Taking an interest in it, wanting to cook with them.

• 1:14:27Speaker 03

  Learn.

• 1:14:28Stavros Halkias?

  I love your pierogies.

• 1:14:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:30Stavros Halkias?

  I wanna cook, you know what I mean? Can we cook? Or like, but see, the thing is.

• 1:14:33Speaker 03

  I can tell by the sound of this guy's voice that he'd fuck up pierogies, so forget that.

• 1:14:37Stavros Halkias?

  But he also, the mom is not a problem here, right? This is stuff that's gonna, the mom is gonna love.

• 1:14:42Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:14:42Stavros Halkias?

  How do you win a tough immigrant dad over when you're the guy? Cause like for me, it's like any woman I'm with, I'm like, don't worry about my fucking dad.

• 1:14:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:53Stavros Halkias?

  You're fine. Who gives a fuck? But if it's flipped, that is harder. You know what I mean?

• 1:14:58Speaker 03

  It doesn't sound like he's too adverse to this guy being around. He said he's the amusing little foreigner.

• 1:15:04Stavros Halkias?

  Pleasant little foreigner.

• 1:15:07Speaker 03

  What the fuck?

• 1:15:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:09Speaker 03

  Sometimes.

• 1:15:10Stavros Halkias?

  This might just be universal, like, like, how do you get a father-in-law to like you? It might not be immigrant stuff at all. So you're both married men. Have you dealt with any? What did you do with, with your, your wife and, did you ask for a hand? Were you the same age as her father?

• 1:15:25Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:15:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you guys went to high school together?

• 1:15:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:27Stavros Halkias?

  So it was an easy conversation?

• 1:15:30Speaker 03

  No, you know, yeah, my wife's been in LA for, you know, a long time and stuff. And we were kind of like, yeah, we're no, we're doing.

• 1:15:36Stavros Halkias?

  Not traditionalist.

• 1:15:37Speaker 03

  We're doing our fucking thing.

• 1:15:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:39Speaker 03

  It wasn't like, yeah, that was, that would not be a situation where I would, let's just say, give a fuck.

• 1:15:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:48Speaker 03

  What? Uh, that's not, that's maybe unfair, unfair.

• 1:15:51Stavros Halkias?

  But I know what you're saying.

• 1:15:52Speaker 03

  Particular situation, you know, her grandmother was the, who we just lost a couple of years ago, was the, oh, she was so sweet. And that was someone that I really, you know, yeah, was like, talked to about.

• 1:16:06Stavros Halkias?

  You had to talk about, you know, that's good.

• 1:16:08Speaker 03

  That I, that I, you know, that I, I love your grandma, granddaughter so much. And, and, uh, you know, she's going to be in, in very good hands. And there was, there's a, yeah, there was a thing there. There was a thing there, which, which was very nice. Cause I do believe that you need the, the, the family's blessing. My, my, my wife had my parents' blessing like crazy. They loved her.

• 1:16:29Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:16:30Speaker 03

  So that was very, that was really, that was really wonderful to have. And it is, it is very important.

• 1:16:36Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:16:36Speaker 03

  But I think so long as you do you, young man. And just ask the fucking guy, worst case scenario, he says no, and you do it anyway.

• 1:16:44Stavros Halkias?

  And you do it anyway. And that's the thing. Here's the issue. He smells your weakness.

• 1:16:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:49Stavros Halkias?

  He smells how scared you are of him. And the thing he will respect the most is just being like, sitting him down in a way that I'm going to guess you never have.

• 1:16:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:59Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like you've always been a soft boy that's hung around the kitchen with the mom and had coffee with her. You've never like gone and had beers in the garage with her Polish dad or whatever. And you just have to do, I mean, that's one of these hard, kind of hard things in life that you just. Fucking, you just do it, man.

• 1:17:19Speaker 03

  I didn't know what a, a husband and father who'd been, again, you know, cucked by the music teacher, who's also come to find out the father of his daughter. I have no frame of reference there, but you dive in, you dive in, you trust the writing.

• 1:17:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 1:17:38Speaker 03

  Show's been on the air for 23 fucking years for a reason. So you are the guy. You walk in there, you are the guy, get him in the backyard, pull your slacks up, get some sun, unbutton your shirt a little bit, and pretend you're the, you know, you are the John Wayne of getting cucked by the music teacher.

• 1:17:57Speaker 04

  There's something to that too, because like immigrant dads just, they just never, they didn't come up in societies where like it was okay to express your emotions as a man. But I feel like even saying, I want to marry your daughter and just like sitting them down, talking them out, right? I bet that will open up a wellspring of old world. My daughter's getting married pride, and you will see like something click in him a little where, you know, you'll just see a little expression in his face.

• 1:18:26Stavros Halkias?

  And it's a sign of, these guys love being respected. Old world dads love when someone bows down and respects them. And they, he's gonna love that you're like, you're ceremonially asking for his daughter's hand in marriage. You know what I mean?

• 1:18:41Speaker 03

  And go for it. Throw that hail Mary of that. Put yourself in his shoes and go, I see it the same way you with your wife, you know, my hopefully lovely mother-in-law. You guys made a relationship out of this and I really admire that. So that when he says no, it'll be, you will have known that you threw everything out there.

• 1:19:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yes. Yeah, you'll be fine. I think you're probably fine. I mean, he's also Polish.

• 1:19:07Speaker 04

  Also bring a bottle of liquor. Those, all those old, old, old fucking immigrant dads love getting boozed up.

• 1:19:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Prime the pump with like a nice gift.

• 1:19:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:18Stavros Halkias?

  A little bit, but it's the holidays. I mean, it's not anymore. It's January.

• 1:19:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:21Stavros Halkias?

  But, uh, you know, hopefully you already got him a nice gift, like.

• 1:19:25Speaker 03

  Do it for next Christmas. Right now, what you want to do, fill your bathtub with potatoes and grain. And start fermenting that homemade Polish fucking rot gut and bring that to him.

• 1:19:37Stavros Halkias?

  He'll love that.

• 1:19:38Speaker 03

  In a green bottle. He'll go like, whoa, this fucking kid makes his own piss.

• 1:19:44Stavros Halkias?

  My own potato moonshine.

• 1:19:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:47Stavros Halkias?

  Good luck, little buddy. We're rooting for you.

• 1:19:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:50Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, you ask for a hand in marriage, Eldis? Do you sit down and have the formal ask?

• 1:19:54Speaker 04

  I did not. I kind of had a conversation with her mom a couple of years before that.

• 1:19:59Stavros Halkias?

  Couple of years? My man took his time. You really are a piece of shit. Her mom's just waiting like, hmm, so any news? Just calling her every fucking month? Uh, no, not really.

• 1:20:12Speaker 04

  But technically, no.

• 1:20:13Stavros Halkias?

  Well, he's gotten into podcast producing.

• 1:20:21Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit. Oh, oh my God, I'm not even Los Angeles anymore. It's time to do something. It's time to keep it twisted. Holy shit. Oh, JP, you're not Will Sasso.

• 1:20:36Speaker 04

  Whoa, we all love.

• 1:20:39Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no, fucking idiot. That's for a different one.

• 1:20:46Stavros Halkias?

  JP, you're not fucking Will Sasso. We kept it so twisted. You became, Will Sasso became a different guy and I was transported to New York City.

• 1:20:55Speaker 04

  We all love Will Sasso, but I'm feeling too twisted.

• 1:20:58Stavros Halkias?

  Too motherfucking ass twisted.

• 1:21:01Speaker 04

  Had to cut in.

• 1:21:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man, it's time. Eldis, we're in the twisted zone. We're in the twisted zone. It's very similar to the cheek zone, except you get even more twisted here.

• 1:21:16Stavros Halkias?

  It's, we, we were transported because, you know, it's February 10th, which is one day away from me. I've been sober for a whole year. In two days, I'll be sipping one of these delicious beverages. That's right. But for now, I have to satiate myself with. Keep it twisted. Keeping it motherfucking twisted with the twisted ass motherfucking question of the week. Birthday, one day before Stav's birthday edition and it's Eldis's birthday edition.

• 1:21:55Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis, what, what twisted motherfucking birthday question do you have for us?

• 1:22:00Speaker 04

  We have a really, someone going through a really fucked up twisted scenario.

• 1:22:04Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, let's see. Let's see what we got. Hi, Chavy.

• 1:22:09Speaker 06

  Longtime listener, a religious listener of fucking Patreon subscriber, sorry. Um, I have a stupid question. But it it has been bugging me. Um, so I've been living with my dear friend and roommate for the past like three years. And we're great matches roommates, we're buddies, uh, loving to death. Um, I have noticed over the last three years of living with them. They have the same shampoo, conditioner and body wash bottles in the shower. The whole time.

• 1:22:46Stavros Halkias?

  Very twisted.

• 1:22:47Speaker 06

  And I'm like, and it's funny because the bo- the bottles are, oh, they're transparent.

• 1:22:58Speaker 06

  Has not really moved much. Since we've lived together and it's like this person is very clean, like they shower every day, they smell good, they're not. At at this point, all I can think is like, are they using my shampoo? Like, I don't know. Um, and if they are, like, do I say something? Like, it's not like I'm like flying through my soap, but I'm kind of like. Uh, I don't know. It's weird. I'm like, what, what's going on here? Anyways, you probably won't answer this one. This is kind of a silly one, but uh, thank you.

• 1:23:34Stavros Halkias?

  Not only will we answer it, well, first of all, let me just say, your roommate is suspected of keeping it. Keeping it much too twisted, okay? That's, now look, that's a, that's misdemeanor. We are in a misdemeanor twisted. Uh, fe- court right now. It's not, it's not felony keeping it twisted. It's not, you know, fucking, fucking your ex's grandma. You know, but this is a level and I'm just wondering.

• 1:24:02Speaker 04

  Showering by definition is not twisted. But if you're committing a minor crime.

• 1:24:08Stavros Halkias?

  Showering, that is twi- keeping it very twisted. And yeah, you're doing a wa- a clean, that showering and bathing, it's sort, it's almost like this, like, almost this symbolic. You're cleansing yourself and it's a baptism of sorts every time you shower. And to just say, to just say, not only am I not gonna accept this ritual cleansing, I'm going to steal during it. That's why people who beat off in the showers weird. It's like, come on, jacking off into the shower.

• 1:24:37Speaker 03

  If you sin during your baptism, you go to purgatory forever.

• 1:24:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's actually not bad. That's a good loophole.

• 1:24:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:44Stavros Halkias?

  Cause that way you don't get to, you don't have to go to hell.

• 1:24:46Speaker 03

  Sin as much as you want in life.

• 1:24:47Stavros Halkias?

  I wish I'd known that.

• 1:24:48Speaker 03

  I was beating off during my own baptism.

• 1:24:52Stavros Halkias?

  That would be keeping it twisted. As a baby, the priest looking at JP and he's like, whoa, that young man, you know what he's doing. He's.

• 1:24:58Speaker 03

  What you gonna do about it, father?

• 1:25:02Stavros Halkias?

  So, okay, birthday edition. We used to be roommates. I had a bottle of Pert Plus for years. Are you calling me out here, Eldis?

• 1:25:12Speaker 04

  I was about to say, I think we could definitely accuse you of keeping it twisted. I feel like I usually had nicer shampoo than you.

• 1:25:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I see what's going on here. On your birthday, you decided to use a, to kinda get a question that's not that twisted to accuse me of a fucking crime.

• 1:25:33Speaker 03

  Eldis hired a fiver worker and emailed them the script and said, bring this up on the podcast.

• 1:25:41Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, my roommate not only is using my shampoo, but I also, I suspect him of taking two to three spoonfuls of my Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream and smoking a little bit of my weed.

• 1:25:56Speaker 04

  And he cooked a meal and used seven pots and they've been in the sink for five days. I kind of assumed he'll have them cleaned up every day I come home from work, but.

• 1:26:07Stavros Halkias?

  He doesn't have a job.

• 1:26:10Speaker 03

  I think he bought a fleshlight on my Amazon Prime.

• 1:26:13Speaker 04

  Every time I come home from work, he's on the couch and I could just tell he's been here most of the day, but he still hasn't cleaned the pots and pans from when he wanted to make zucchini fritters.

• 1:26:27Speaker 03

  If I could have rigged up some cameras in this palace.

• 1:26:31Speaker 04

  That you guys were living in.

• 1:26:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man. That is a shame, dude. That would have been a great documentary. It's like just sealed footage of us like before, you know, before like even like we're talking. This is like right when Come Town is starting. This is so long ago.

• 1:26:48Speaker 04

  But you know, I've, I think I've kept it twisted in the way the callers are describing with.

• 1:26:52Stavros Halkias?

  It was a two way twisted street when we were, when we were roommates. So whatever, but that's very interesting.

• 1:26:59Speaker 04

  So my instinct to this question is mind your business.

• 1:27:02Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Okay. Cause we do respect the twisted. That's the problem with the, when your call gets selected for the twisted ass motherfucking question of the week. We tend to side with the twisted individual.

• 1:27:16Stavros Halkias?

  And your roommate is keeping it twisted here.

• 1:27:18Speaker 04

  Keeping it delightfully twisted. I also had a really annoying roommate one time who was a piece of shit. He was like a medical student and he was just a completely pampered mama's boy. And he had like, he had Keel's body wash in the shower and I had whatever fucked up thing I was buying from the bodega. Okay, I was stealing some of the Keel's body wash, but microscopic amounts. And he sent us, me and my other roommate, my good friend, this long ass text, like a very fucking annoying text to get. Like someone's been using my body wash and it's very expensive. And it's like, okay, fine, but also how do you know that?

• 1:27:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, well, you marked it.

• 1:27:55Speaker 04

  There were no visible marks. So it was like, are you taking a picture of this shit every time you use it?

• 1:27:59Stavros Halkias?

  He might've been.

• 1:28:00Speaker 04

  A humiliating behavior.

• 1:28:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's, and I, I could see like, there is a way to steal a little shampoo here and there. And that's okay that you charge that to the game.

• 1:28:10Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:28:10Stavros Halkias?

  I, I will say actually this person is slo- I actually, I changed my mind. I'm not on their team because this is behavior that you sort of expect a little bit here and there. They're keeping it twisted is one thing. But you can't be sloppy when you keep it twisted. Your shampoo bottles cannot be clear if you're stealing somebody shampoo. Like I have, there is still, I think I threw away a bottle shampoo. First of all, when I grew my hair out during the pandemic, remember, you were, you were gone by then when I was growing my hair out. Uh, but I remember my roommate, our, our, our friend, our good friend, the elusive and mysterious big P.

• 1:28:53Stavros Halkias?

  That when he came home and he saw there was shampoo, that I put shampoo in our shared shower, he started laughing his dick off. Cause I would, I was like bald, you know, I'd been bald since we were 22. And then at 34 or whatever, 33, whatever, he was like, I grew my hair out in the pandemic. Uh, but I've had, I had a bottle of green pert plus that you couldn't see through. S- laying there for four years and that was viewed, that's all the, um, uh, plausible deniability you need. Like if you're this guy, you get pert, you get a fucking thing, an Irish spring body wash. You put it there or you put one fucked up, uh, bar, you know what I mean? Like.

• 1:29:36Speaker 04

  The bottle you had was like the old branding.

• 1:29:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:39Speaker 04

  Like you go to CBS and it looks completely different now. It's a vintage.

• 1:29:44Stavros Halkias?

  So we, we're saying it is weird.

• 1:29:49Stavros Halkias?

  You can ask, you'd be like, hey, or you know what you really do? You run out of soap. Cause that would happen to me. I would stop stealing when they got too close to the end, you know? Then it got dire. Then I was just taking pure water showers and that's brutal stuff. Um, so.

• 1:30:06Speaker 04

  Moving the sweat around.

• 1:30:08Stavros Halkias?

  Because, yeah, because this is the twisted ass motherfucking question. Usually you would say, ask them, they're your boy. It's a little weird. Who cares? But since it's the twisted ass motherfucking question of the week, we say, get twisted back or. Keep it twisted. If you really wanna. Keep it twisted. You put some ne'er in your fucking shampoo.

• 1:30:32Stavros Halkias?

  If you really wanna keep it twisted.

• 1:30:35Speaker 04

  That's how you find out once and for all.

• 1:30:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's how you find out once and for all. You put a fucking decoy, but it doesn't sound like she even wants to do that. We're just giving you twisted options, so, um.

• 1:30:47Speaker 04

  Take your shampoo and conditioner, squeeze it into like, plastic bags, and leave like, the empty bottles there.

• 1:30:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, true.

• 1:30:54Speaker 04

  And see if they, and then you have your own stash.

• 1:30:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just have your own stash, you know, I don't know about this putting shit in bottles and bags.

• 1:31:01Speaker 04

  I haven't thought it all the way through, but I'm trying to move it to another place.

• 1:31:06Stavros Halkias?

  Holy fuck, that was twisted. Um, well, maybe we shouldn't be telling, you know, advocating for, you know, bleep that out. Well, this isn't spot, this is merely the twisted ass motherfucking, this is just a thing we like to do.

• 1:31:20Speaker 04

  It's just organically emerging.

• 1:31:22Stavros Halkias?

  Twisted tea so much, JP.

• 1:31:24Speaker 04

  These were the shoes I was wearing already.

• 1:31:27Stavros Halkias?

  I was wearing this hat, I was in this city when this episode started. Um, so there you have it, that's how you're gonna keep it fucking twisted. Um, and don't forget, if you wanna keep it twisted, you could, there's no better beverage to keep it twisted than a delicious twisted tea from our friends at Twisted Tea.

• 1:31:50Stavros Halkias?

  Keep it twisted. Alright, well, um.

• 1:31:55Stavros Halkias?

  What did you think of that, Will?

• 1:31:57Speaker 03

  That's fucking great.

• 1:31:58Speaker 04

  What else we got, little buddy, what else we got here?

• 1:32:01Speaker 06

  Hey, Stavi, uh, I'm just calling in to, the problem that I have is, uh, I'm still in love with the person that I'm supposed to be friends with.

• 1:32:13Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm, stop it.

• 1:32:15Speaker 06

  Short story, uh, I am a widower, and it is my wife's cousin.

• 1:32:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:32:24Speaker 06

  So we kinda like, trauma bonded together, and then, things accelerated into a intimate relationship, um.

• 1:32:34Stavros Halkias?

  You fucked her?

• 1:32:35Speaker 06

  But she is Polly.

• 1:32:37Stavros Halkias?

  That ain't the problem! It's not on her side, you fucking weirdo.

• 1:32:41Speaker 06

  I had a little freak out about it because it's all new to me. I've only ever been monogamous.

• 1:32:44Stavros Halkias?

  The poly thing is the problem?

• 1:32:49Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck?

• 1:32:53Stavros Halkias?

  Is that Polly Shore movie where he has to, the, it's like the younger brother has to marry the widow? Do you remember that one?

• 1:33:01Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:33:02Stavros Halkias?

  There's like a weird Polly Shore movie, I think. Uh, anyway, keep playing this call. So this guy, wow, okay. That threw me for a loop. I thought for sure he was like, I have feelings for this woman, but she's my, may she rest in peace.

• 1:33:16Speaker 03

  This man has moved on.

• 1:33:19Stavros Halkias?

  With his dead wife's cousin. Very interesting move. Okay. All right. Not judging here, just kind of called me off guard. Just called me off guard. Let's see what else he's got. Let's go back a little bit.

• 1:33:31Speaker 06

  So we decided to stay friends.

• 1:33:34Stavros Halkias?

  Can you go back a little bit?

• 1:33:35Speaker 06

  And I have been, uh, I kind of had a little freak out about it because it's all new to me. I've only ever been monogamous. And, uh, so we decided to stay friends. And I have been, uh, experimenting with the, the poly lifestyle. And I am enjoying it, which is really annoying because now I'm realizing that I freaked out when I shouldn't have.

• 1:34:03Speaker 06

  But like, we're back at being in a good place, uh, as friends. So I'm just wondering, should I just kind of like chalk it up as a, a loss and just continue being friends? Or, uh, like shoot my shot again because I really fucking love this woman still.

• 1:34:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh man, hold on.

• 1:34:26Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's about it.

• 1:34:27Stavros Halkias?

  The fact that, I'm sorry, the fact that it's his deceased wife's cousin is actually immaterial to this question.

• 1:34:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:37Stavros Halkias?

  It doesn't matter at all.

• 1:34:38Speaker 03

  It has not come up since the beginning of the call. You're right.

• 1:34:41Stavros Halkias?

  It's just color. Like I thought that was going to be the whole point of this, but this is, I, okay, let's just take that out because I am finding it too funny otherwise and weird. And this just shows you how resilient a man is.

• 1:34:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:56Stavros Halkias?

  He deals with the most intense tragedy possible, but if there's a lady with big tits that'll suck him off at the funeral, he's moving on and now he's getting into the poly lifestyle.

• 1:35:05Speaker 03

  It really, it really is like, no judgment. I'm sure it's a complicated experience to go through with the content.

• 1:35:12Stavros Halkias?

  But it's just funny.

• 1:35:13Speaker 03

  But it's like, man, imagine being the wife listening to this voicemail from up in heaven. It's like, what?

• 1:35:19Stavros Halkias?

  This is your problem?

• 1:35:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:21Stavros Halkias?

  Not even a little bit of, you didn't at the end say, and of course, obviously, there's a little guilt involved here. There's none of that.

• 1:35:30Speaker 03

  You know.

• 1:35:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, again, no, no judgment, I suppose, but.

• 1:35:35Speaker 03

  This is, I'm gonna put myself in the, in the, uh, I'm gonna put myself in the shoes of anyone who, any one of your close friends or definitely family.

• 1:35:46Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 1:35:46Speaker 03

  In the future.

• 1:35:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:35:47Speaker 03

  That has to listen to the answer to, so how'd you guys get together? So, and I was sitting here going, uh, uh, uh. So, my advice would be to stop it. Get out. I think right away, even the part that he, like you said, cares very little about. That his, his deceased wife, his family, with the, even just the Polly thing. But, but that, that at the top of it.

• 1:36:17Stavros Halkias?

  How is the Polly thing his big problem?

• 1:36:19Speaker 03

  But now he's into the Polly thing.

• 1:36:21Stavros Halkias?

  Now he's into the Polly thing by accident. Okay, let me, let's, let's actually give this guy some fucking, let's stop laughing at him and give him some tough talking to, okay?

• 1:36:30Speaker 03

  Where do you get these?

• 1:36:32Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, this one's awesome.

• 1:36:33Speaker 03

  Dude, when I see your calls, I'm just like, and I'm watching it going, and then you hit me up, hey, man, I'm in town, you gonna do the podcast? Well, come on. Yeah, fuck yeah. And my first thought is like, oh, whenever I watch the show, I'm like, don't, don't, don't give advice to that, like, you're a fucking actor, comedian or something. Nah, you can't help this person. But now I'm sitting here going, we gotta help this fucking guy.

• 1:36:57Stavros Halkias?

  Save this man, dude. Okay, I think it is very, very possible that you might not even really understand what's going on emotionally for yourself right now. Right. Like, let's give him some credit and, and just even say he might be too fucking stupid to understand, like, how sad he is and how the ways grief is taking place. Cause here's the thing, let's throw the, okay, let's start one by one. Trauma bonded, you both went, you know, whatever grief is weird. Essentially, you in a tumultuous emotional time of your life, hooked up with somebody that you both sought comfort from each other, right?

• 1:37:40Stavros Halkias?

  See, and now you're trying to fuck her again. Why don't you just chalk that up to, hey, it was a fucking weird time. It was a fucking weird time, and maybe your freak out had a little bit to do with that. Maybe you did, it wasn't the fact that you wanted to be in a monogamous relationship with your dead wife's cousin. It was the fact that maybe on some emotional level, you were freaking out about it, right? So, hey, we'll give you the pass for fucking her, pal. Good, you're absolved, done, done and done. And you know what? You want to do some weird poly shit while you're dealing with this? Great, but you can't fuck her again. That's fucking nuts. That's fucking nuts. You're out of your fucking mind, dude.

• 1:38:25Stavros Halkias?

  And we're only saying this because we're your friends. But like, did you see how gobsmacked your thing made me? Do you understand how much weird shit we get on this fucking show? And how much this fucked me up? Please take that as an understanding of what's going on here. Absolved, you fucked her once, who cares? Your gindapoly shit, great. Me and like, you both might not know what's going on here. You can't fuck, you, you move on. Fuck, fuck other women, who gives a fuck?

• 1:38:55Speaker 03

  The second time is gonna be exponentially.

• 1:38:58Stavros Halkias?

  It's gonna be so weird.

• 1:38:59Speaker 03

  Way worse and is gonna come back to haunt you in ways that you can't even think of right now. I can't imagine them. You're, you're in a situation and you clearly don't know what they are because you're calling Stavi to go, help me sort this out. You, you, you have no idea what's coming for you.

• 1:39:18Stavros Halkias?

  No, dude, no you do not.

• 1:39:20Speaker 03

  Run the other way.

• 1:39:20Stavros Halkias?

  You got, yeah, this is all, you know what? After the initial shock wore off, this is pretty easy. You good?

• 1:39:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I'm good.

• 1:39:27Stavros Halkias?

  This is a pretty easy thing. You had a weird hookup in a weird time and now you move on. And her saying like, you're in a good place as friends, that's good. That's good. Stay friends.

• 1:39:38Speaker 03

  She's not Polly. She's just saying that to get him off her ass.

• 1:39:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:39:43Speaker 03

  Oh, I like all sorts of people. He's like, me too.

• 1:39:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, totally.

• 1:39:46Speaker 03

  That didn't work.

• 1:39:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're good, man. Keep it moving.

• 1:39:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, keep it moving.

• 1:39:51Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck a bunch of, like, you're sad still. You don't even understand it and just keep it moving, brother.

• 1:39:57Speaker 03

  Keep it moving.

• 1:39:58Stavros Halkias?

  Wild stuff, man. I mean, phew.

• 1:40:00Speaker 03

  That's, yeah, that was, that was, that was something. Oh, man, that was really something.

• 1:40:05Stavros Halkias?

  We drama bonded. That's the last that came up. I mean, that's fucking nuts, dude.

• 1:40:10Speaker 03

  That's almost incest, I mean, it's incestuous. It's, it's, it's.

• 1:40:14Stavros Halkias?

  There is, I mean, it's.

• 1:40:15Speaker 03

  Emotional, familial, I mean, they're not blood related, so.

• 1:40:19Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:40:19Speaker 03

  You can't, but that's. Keep it moving.

• 1:40:24Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta keep moving. And it probably was probably a pretty nice nutter too. That's the other thing. It's probably like fucked up shit just probably made his dick even harder on some level. And that's, he's trying to tap into that, but that is over. That's over. You're right. The sheen is gone. The first, they might have fucked a few times, but it's like, that will never come back, brother. Please move, okay, play a call.

• 1:40:48Speaker 03

  Find other women whose cousins may have passed away and see if that gets you going.

• 1:40:54Stavros Halkias?

  Start going to funerals.

• 1:40:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, there you go.

• 1:40:56Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe you just wanna fuck sad women, right?

• 1:40:59Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 1:41:00Stavros Halkias?

  See if anybody in your past has died recently.

• 1:41:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:04Stavros Halkias?

  Go to a high school reunion. Anyway, keep going, Eldis.

• 1:41:08Speaker 05

  Hi, Stavi, long time listener, first time caller. I was calling, and I love the show. I was calling because I had like kind of a weird incident happen with my family. And I wanted to know how to support, I guess, my mom.

• 1:41:23Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:41:24Speaker 05

  Um, so my mom got a WhatsApp message from my dad when he was in an Eastern European country by himself.

• 1:41:34Speaker 06

  Because he was gonna go visit my brother in the UK. And it was of uh what she described as uh AI porn, but of him. Um, and I felt weird because I was like, why would someone be sending AI porn of my dad to my mom? Um, and uh, what does that mean? Um, so she seemed to like just be really, really stressed out and brushed it off as just a thing that didn't happen. Um, but like still seems pretty sad about the incident and uh,

• 1:42:18Speaker 06

  I don't know, like I guess I asked her like, well, what did the video look like? And it didn't have audio and it was like 10 seconds and uh, really, really, really still like um, still like the phone was still and I asked my boyfriend like, oh, do you think it's AI? Or do you think something funny is happening? Um, another thing for context is my dad has a very, very like shitty um, phone. It basically is an Obama phone, but he just refuses to get anything better. Um, so it can be hacked pretty easy and he only uses WhatsApp and um, I don't know why. Um, so I feel like he's just more prone to getting hacked, but the incident just made me feel weird.

• 1:43:02Speaker 06

  Um, and I don't know where it's about. Um, so yeah, what would you do? What are your thoughts? Uh, it was just something really weird that happened.

• 1:43:11Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck is she talking about?

• 1:43:12Speaker 06

  Not like my dad to do that. Uh, it's also weird because it's like, I'm not gonna ask my mom to see it because I feel like if you, if I were to see it, I would know it's AI right away. Um, but I-

• 1:43:27Speaker 05

  That just puts me in a weird position. It's not like I could make like my friends or my boyfriend look at that either. Um, but yeah, uh, appreciate your thoughts. Sorry if the call was long. Okay. Love the show. Love you all. Bye.

• 1:43:42Speaker 03

  Send it to stop.

• 1:43:44Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, I would love to see it. We honestly would love to check out the AI pornography of your father. So this woman is saying her mom received a WhatsApp message from her dad while he was away in Europe. And it was AI pornography. I assume of the dad holding his cock or some shit. Yeah, she doesn't specify, but. Maybe he's jacking off.

• 1:44:09Speaker 03

  She does not mention another woman or partner.

• 1:44:11Stavros Halkias?

  No. She does not. Yeah. But which I would, that seems like it would have been like, and her mom said she brushed it off. Did she ask? Did she ask her husband? Hey, what the fuck is this? Like, what? Like, I don't get that. I mean, that's fucking nuts.

• 1:44:28Speaker 03

  I, I kind of feel like mom has the right strategy here.

• 1:44:32Stavros Halkias?

  Respect, yeah.

• 1:44:33Speaker 03

  Definitely just brush that off. Pretend it didn't happen. 100% bury that down. Also, this dude is just, didn't she say he was visiting her brother in the UK?

• 1:44:44Stavros Halkias?

  Right, the brother.

• 1:44:45Speaker 03

  Which last time I checked is not in Eastern Europe. So now he's just in Eastern Europe with, and there's some AI.

• 1:44:50Stavros Halkias?

  I'm assuming he was doing some sort of tour or stop or something. If that's what it was. But like, could he have gotten hacked? Could somebody have taken up a picture from him? And made AI pornography?

• 1:45:02Speaker 03

  They don't want money. They're not trying to blackmail him or anything?

• 1:45:05Stavros Halkias?

  They used to do that, right? Where they would be like, they'd get you to jack off on cam and then they'd record it. Oh, and then they'd show you the video and be like, we're sending this to all your friends. If you don't give us money. So is it possible that maybe it's not AI porn? Maybe dad was beating off on FaceTime with some, somebody in Slovakia?

• 1:45:22Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:45:23Stavros Halkias?

  And they sent it to everybody. You know what I mean?

• 1:45:26Speaker 03

  That's what's up.

• 1:45:27Stavros Halkias?

  That could be it.

• 1:45:28Speaker 03

  No, I think you cracked it.

• 1:45:29Stavros Halkias?

  That might be.

• 1:45:29Speaker 03

  This should be in a, a, a, a law and order.

• 1:45:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we should get a law. And I would say you have a brother. You gotta ask your brother in the UK to look at this pornography and tell you what it is. Your brother can look at it. Your brother can look at it. It's different than being a girl looking at.

• 1:45:44Speaker 03

  Yes, that's for, yes.

• 1:45:46Stavros Halkias?

  I would, if my dad sent my mom some weird thing, I would, it would be my duty as the first born to look at potentially my dad's hard cock.

• 1:45:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:45:56Stavros Halkias?

  That would be, that would be something I'd have to do. And I would be praying it's AI. Now, the other funny possibility here is your dad just learned about AI. You know how like a bunch of fucking ugly motherfuckers were doing the AI, what did I look like in high school thing and posting just a sexy version of them that never existed?

• 1:46:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:46:17Stavros Halkias?

  When it's, you know what I mean, those like, do you remember that? Anyway, people were doing that a lot when AI first came out. It was like, just a hot picture of them. Is it possible your dad is a horny man who loves your mother? And just found out about AI? He put himself through a filter that makes his dick look harder and bigger? And is trying to jerk off with your mom? Like, is it possible your dad took a weird shot at your mom? When he's feeling horny off the fucking, off the fucking rocky? He's had fucking bathtub moonshine from, from the, you know, the old world? And he's trying to get his wife to look at his hard cock? But it's not getting that hard, so he throws a filter on it? Is that possible?

• 1:46:55Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 1:46:58Speaker 03

  It's the first one.

• 1:47:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, this isn't a Trump NFT.

• 1:47:06Speaker 03

  It's not him dressed up as a fucking astronaut or a cowboy.

• 1:47:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just him with his dick out. It's just a guy with his dick out. That's what happened here. She sounds so sweet.

• 1:47:18Stavros Halkias?

  You're right, you're so right.

• 1:47:19Speaker 03

  Affected by it. Also, the fact that the mom is-

• 1:47:21Stavros Halkias?

  It's not AI at all, you're so right.

• 1:47:23Speaker 03

  It's not AI. But that's also an old head thing to do is to blame shit on AI. It's AI.

• 1:47:29Stavros Halkias?

  My husband's not a weird pervert, it's AI.

• 1:47:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, just everything is, and he just blame it all on AI.

• 1:47:36Speaker 03

  The fact that the mom has said nothing about this and just seems kind of sad, means that you might be new to knowing that your mom's ignored a lot of shit about your dad. And it just makes her kind of sad.

• 1:47:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:47:47Speaker 03

  So, I agree with the not wanting to make it worse and stuff. A lot of shit will come out in the wash and- Yeah, maybe just let it lie.

• 1:47:56Stavros Halkias?

  You're so fucking right about that. Who knows? Pops is on a, you're right, Pops on an Eastern European solo tour on his way to the UK. Last time I checked, there's plenty of direct flights till Heathrow. He doesn't really have to stop over in fucking Ukraine.

• 1:48:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, that's, that's amazing. Oh, yeah, I got, I'm going to, I'm going to Montana. I got a layover in, in Chicago.

• 1:48:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I have to go. Yeah, so there's a weird thing where you have to stop in Thailand for 48 hours on the way, on the way to the UK. And so, but the tickets are so cheap, I just gotta do it. Um, yeah, and I would consult with your brother. This is what brothers are for. Pornography is his realm. Your dad's dick is his realm.

• 1:48:39Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 1:48:39Stavros Halkias?

  He's gotta handle this for you.

• 1:48:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:42Stavros Halkias?

  He's gotta be the one to do this.

• 1:48:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's watched him piss in the woods over and over again. He'll be able to just, and he won't even have to look that long. He'll just be like, that's dad's hammer. That's not, that's not AI at all. He didn't enhance that. Same color.

• 1:48:57Stavros Halkias?

  I remember that freckle.

• 1:48:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:48:59Stavros Halkias?

  Um, yes, this is fascinating though, and please call in with a resolution if you have one. We were captivated by this. Damn, that's, this is so sweet. Is it AI?

• 1:49:11Speaker 03

  She sounded so nice.

• 1:49:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, I heard it in her voice. She's just like, she, she doesn't even want to entertain that it could be real and it's just like...

• 1:49:18Stavros Halkias?

  But it's so clearly real.

• 1:49:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what threw me the whole, for the whole first part. I'm like, what is she, why is the word, why is the word AI even in this? I don't understand what the hell she's talking about.

• 1:49:27Stavros Halkias?

  Now, I mean, hack and AI are two of the most...

• 1:49:31Speaker 03

  Yes, I got hacked. It's AI.

• 1:49:33Stavros Halkias?

  And it's AI is like the, we are gonna hear that every time like a Republican senator gets caught getting his dick sucked by a 17-year-old boy. We are gonna hear about how he got hacked and it's AI for eternity. We're gonna hear that. Um, all right, let's see what else we got. Some pretty good questions, Elders. Good job producing so far.

• 1:49:52Speaker 06

  It's Tavi. Hope you're doing well, you and your esteemed guest. Uh, I hope that your Albanian picked my question this time. Uh, I have a bit of a problem, man. Um, so I've been working at the same job for a few years now. It's a nice little office job. I like it a lot. Um, I have an intern.

• 1:50:14Stavros Halkias?

  Uh oh.

• 1:50:15Speaker 06

  Who, uh, just, um, actually ended their first semester with our office. And, uh, they're going to be.

• 1:50:25Stavros Halkias?

  Who's they?

• 1:50:26Speaker 06

  Potentially coming back. The thing is, man, I'm pretty sure that they're into me. And like, I'm not, I mean, I don't wanna fuck up my job. I know that they're like basically done working with me.

• 1:50:41Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, dude.

• 1:50:42Speaker 06

  Wouldn't be that big of a deal. I don't know if I would get fired, even if like it turned out that we were doing anything beforehand. We haven't done anything. The thing is, they are.

• 1:50:54Stavros Halkias?

  The fact that you're already thinking about legalities and trying to get the timing right, you know, you're, what you're doing is fucked up, man. The fact that you're trying to get the timeline straight for the prosecutor, that's, that's already a very bad sign. We'll hear you out.

• 1:51:10Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:51:11Stavros Halkias?

  But you're on very thin ice.

• 1:51:14Speaker 06

  Done anything? The thing is, they are so hot. It's insane. And on top of that, I'm pretty sure that they're into me. Like, they always wanna work with me on projects. They're always asking me if I wanna do stuff with them as far as like work stuff. We've never hung out outside of work, um, but they're always trying to help me with stuff. Um, and they, you know, they're, they're acting all flirty and things like that. I've been trying to keep things very professional, but, um, I would, I would do it. I gotta say. So what do I do? Uh, there's a, I've, I've been working here for about three years.

• 1:51:54Speaker 06

  Um, and, uh, it's like a, I don't know, like a half a decade, some age gap. Uh, so no issues there really, I guess. I don't know. Um.

• 1:52:06Stavros Halkias?

  Five years older than me.

• 1:52:07Speaker 06

  Help me out, man. Would it be creepy? Would it seem weird? I, I don't wanna really like reach out to them to be like, hey, you wanna hang? Or something like that. But at the same time, like, I don't know. Am I gonna miss out on this opportunity? Love you, stuff. Please help me out. Uh, and, uh, if you could make this the twisted question of the week.

• 1:52:28Stavros Halkias?

  You know what? Elders, you fucked up. This should have been the twisted question of the week. You fucking idiot. This is the most, this is an insane, although I don't know if twisted tea would wanna be associated with fucking a subordinate.

• 1:52:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:52:42Stavros Halkias?

  But it is twisted. It is very twisted. Okay. I mean, dude, you know, you can't fuck someone at the office. I mean, what are the more, what are the true moral implications here? Who really gives a fuck about fucking somebody in an office like, whatever, it happens all the time, but it's like-

• 1:53:03Speaker 03

  Always a terrible idea.

• 1:53:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's a bad idea.

• 1:53:05Speaker 03

  How a lot of people do meet their partners at work.

• 1:53:09Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a little dubious of your reading of the situation, too.

• 1:53:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:53:13Stavros Halkias?

  Like, it's like, I don't know, are you sure? Oh, the hot college student is really into you.

• 1:53:19Speaker 03

  But did he mention, did I hear it right, that you were saying he's five years just-

• 1:53:23Stavros Halkias?

  Five years older? That's not crazy, honestly.

• 1:53:26Speaker 04

  And, and he sounds pretty young himself.

• 1:53:28Stavros Halkias?

  He sounds pretty young. If, if this person's 20, he's 25 or 21, 26.

• 1:53:32Speaker 04

  If he's like making it this big of a deal and isn't just like, yeah, I'm gonna fuck this.

• 1:53:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, a real scumbag would have, if they're 20, he would have been like, I could buy you booze. Why don't you just fucking come to my apartment? And he would have fucking cornered them in a room.

• 1:53:45Speaker 03

  He seems really hung up on the, the, the fact that it's the, the, the, the power dynamic. He's an in, it's an intern. Yeah, I think you need to, I, this is every, this is the answer to every single one of these. Just leave it alone. This is easy.

• 1:53:58Stavros Halkias?

  I will say, yes, I will say, you seem to like your job.

• 1:54:02Speaker 03

  Later, you might see them later in life.

• 1:54:03Stavros Halkias?

  If they truly want to fuck you, right? If they really a hundred percent, if you are right and there is some kind of something going on, let it go. Maybe you run into them. Maybe on their last day, they say something like, oh, can I use you as a reference? And they, you exchange contact, like, let them show actual interest instead of you thinking, well, obviously the hottest person in this office wants to fuck me, right? You might be wrong. Let things, and then, look, if you guys happen to, if some connection is made when you are not, when they're not your subordinate and you don't want to jeopardize your job, fine.

• 1:54:45Stavros Halkias?

  But like, anything you do while they work there seems like you're on, you know, I wouldn't make this move unless they were like, it was very, very apparent. And even then you probably shouldn't, but look, who am I to tell you, you can't break a few rules to fuck somebody that's hot. I get that. I understand that.

• 1:55:03Speaker 03

  You're the guy that has question and answers for an hour at the end of your fucking podcast. You're exactly the, you're the only person he's gonna ask, unfortunately. So you better nail it.

• 1:55:15Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, I guess you're right. Don't do it.

• 1:55:17Speaker 03

  No, don't do it. And also he's like, "You might wanna stay at the job, I might not." No, you want your job. You're just saying that.

• 1:55:25Stavros Halkias?

  He's horny.

• 1:55:25Speaker 03

  Yeah. A horny guy at work.

• 1:55:28Stavros Halkias?

  The reality here is this man is insanely pussy-starved. And he's trying to, he knows it's a bad idea and he's like, "Do I even..." That's how much he knows he wants to fuck. He's like, "Do I even like my job?" He wants to fuck this person so bad. He's like, "I don't even, is this industry even for me?" So you're not thinking clearly.

• 1:55:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:55:51Stavros Halkias?

  You let it, you definitely don't make a move while they work there. And then you let it go and if something organic happens afterwards, when they show interest and it's not just you reading the tea leaves, then it's up to you, man. That's a personal decision. But don't fuck your job up because you need a nut.

• 1:56:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:56:08Stavros Halkias?

  Unless it was a really bad job. I never fucked in the office.

• 1:56:17Speaker 03

  It's a really bad idea to get involved with anybody at work.

• 1:56:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:20Speaker 03

  It's just, you don't shit where you eat.

• 1:56:22Stavros Halkias?

  Did you ever have like a day job, office job? Or was it just right to Neon Rider and you were off, brother?

• 1:56:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. And that's definitely somewhere where you don't wanna pick up, you know, when you're on Neon Rider, the show about the teens, being a teen at that time myself. You don't wanna get involved with any of the social workers. There's a couple of lovely women working on the show, actors.

• 1:56:51Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, alright. Well, yeah. I think we did good. We stayed moral. Keep going, Aldous.

• 1:56:59Speaker 06

  Bobby, um, called a few times, huge fan of the show.

• 1:57:04Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you.

• 1:57:05Speaker 06

  Thank you so much for all you do and you and Elvis, of course.

• 1:57:09Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:57:10Speaker 06

  I'm just calling because I've been in a relationship for about ten years now. And sometimes I struggle with the idea that we don't show love in the same way. Um, he's very like, I guess affectionate and shows affection through words of affirmation and physical touch. While I'm more of like an acts of service kind of girl. Um, and I feel like sometimes we butt heads on, you know, if we're showing love and appreciation to each other in the right way. So I just wanted to see if you had any advice on, um, kind of changing the mindset and making it to where you guys, you're the two people can kind of, uh, reach common ground in the way that you show love to each other.

• 1:57:55Speaker 06

  Um, again, love the pod. Thank you so much. This is way cheaper than therapy. So you're, you're the, you're the realist for this.

• 1:58:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. It's just as helpful.

• 1:58:03Speaker 06

  Have a great day. Thanks so much. Bye.

• 1:58:05Speaker 03

  I mean, she solves the problem at the end of it by saying, this is way cheaper than therapy. Go to therapy. Don't ask him.

• 1:58:17Speaker 03

  Or me. Like couples therapy.

• 1:58:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is kind of a.

• 1:58:23Speaker 03

  Act of service kind of girl, she says. That, that made me sad.

• 1:58:26Stavros Halkias?

  This is a straight up couples therapy situation without question. You're so right.

• 1:58:30Speaker 03

  About couples therapy is they were, even though you guys have been together for ten years, a good therapist will be able to listen to two of you in a session and be like, I can't help you, which means break up.

• 1:58:44Speaker 03

  If I can't help you, break up because this is that, that's how easy it is. I don't even want another session.

• 1:58:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:50Speaker 03

  Break up.

• 1:58:51Stavros Halkias?

  Well, they'll know.

• 1:58:52Speaker 03

  I empathize with this, with this, uh, with this woman. That sounds rough.

• 1:58:56Stavros Halkias?

  Well, so the idea basically is like the, her, her partner's, he's very touchy feely and she's more like. Do I'd like you to do the dishes or so I don't know if that's what active service.

• 1:59:06Speaker 03

  I believe active service meant that she looks at and I may be wrong because she used the term act of service.

• 1:59:14Stavros Halkias?

  I think she's using, this is a type of language of the, isn't it love language stuff?

• 1:59:21Speaker 03

  Is it?

• 1:59:21Stavros Halkias?

  I think so.

• 1:59:22Speaker 03

  Oh, okay. I've never heard of that.

• 1:59:23Stavros Halkias?

  There's like gift giving, physical touch, right? Look up, uh.

• 1:59:27Speaker 03

  I thought she, I thought she meant that her affection falls under the act of service.

• 1:59:34Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, I don't think that. I think she's basically means what the way she likes to receive love is by him doing nice things for her, whereas he likes to just be cuddly and physical touch. I think it's different types of, yeah. Acts of services or love language means that someone feels most love when their partner actively does thoughtful things for them, like completing tasks, running errands or performing small favors that make their lives easier. So, okay, look.

• 2:00:00Speaker 03

  Who doesn't like that?

• 2:00:02Stavros Halkias?

  Right. I mean, that's the other thing. Look at, look at all five love languages and they're all like awesome things. Like none of them are, click on the all, you know, all love languages there, Aldous.

• 2:00:14Stavros Halkias?

  There's that, it's a fucking, the five love languages to the right. God, you're fucking at producing. Okay. Acts of service, gifts, gift thoughtful gifts, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation. All those are fucking awesome. So I guess, but okay, I get it. Whatever. She prefers, is the problem that you really have different love languages? Or would you be more affectionate to someone you loved more? Like, maybe that's, you know, maybe, I don't want to assume that, but maybe that's true. Maybe it's not. Would he want to do shit for you? Like this thing, even if he's not, like I'm fucking lazy. I don't like running errands for myself, but I, in relationships, it's something clicks for

• 2:00:58Stavros Halkias?

  me and it feels good. I will so, I will way more go out of my way to pick up, go to a store and get some for somebody I'm dating, more so than if I would do it for myself. You know what I mean?

• 2:01:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:01:10Stavros Halkias?

  So I don't know if you necessarily have to break up, but if you, have you had these conversations? It's like. Hey, could you do this for me? I really appreciate this and maybe it's, you know, it's a compromise thing of like, maybe you, you want to be a little more physically affectionate. Maybe he does a little more stuff that you like, but it's like, this is relationship stuff 101 in terms of compromise.

• 2:01:33Speaker 03

  Also 10 years in and each of them are only doing one of the five love languages. What do you want from us? You know what I mean? Do more of those.

• 2:01:42Stavros Halkias?

  Do more of them.

• 2:01:42Speaker 03

  At least get to three out of five.

• 2:01:44Stavros Halkias?

  Gotta get to 60%.

• 2:01:45Speaker 03

  And then see if you have some overlap.

• 2:01:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:01:47Speaker 03

  Before you call Stavi and be like, fix this for me. I've been in a relationship for 10 years.

• 2:01:53Stavros Halkias?

  For 10 years and he won't pick up my dry cleaning when I ask. But yeah, I mean, I do hate to be like, but it's like, have you just, how do you reach common ground?

• 2:02:05Stavros Halkias?

  You have the conversation and not to be reductive, but if it's important enough to both of you, you'll just fucking do it.

• 2:02:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:02:12Stavros Halkias?

  Like unless there's little resentments that stop you and that, that can definitely build up and I hate to say it, but Will is right. This is cheaper than therapy and that's the issue here. You literally need to go and talk through these issues because you know, I have it. You, you, you were again, you guys are in long-term relationships.

• 2:02:30Stavros Halkias?

  This, does this seem, you know?

• 2:02:32Speaker 03

  Is it worth 150 bucks? It's basically the calculation.

• 2:02:37Speaker 06

  Well, I would say to her, she subscribed to the Patreon.

• 2:02:39Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 2:02:39Speaker 06

  Cause if she's not.

• 2:02:40Stavros Halkias?

  Cause if she's not.

• 2:02:41Speaker 06

  We give even better advice there.

• 2:02:43Stavros Halkias?

  The advice is so much better on the Patreon.

• 2:02:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:02:46Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great point, Eldis. But yeah, I don't know.

• 2:02:50Speaker 06

  I wonder, I wonder if she like feels smothered too. Cause all this love language stuff is just like, I don't know. It's like, is he being too lovey dovey and annoying? It's like, is that what you mean?

• 2:03:00Speaker 03

  And not doing anything.

• 2:03:02Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 2:03:02Speaker 03

  Cause, cause you know, you know, I mean, whatever people in general, but women need someone to show up and, and you know, and, and. I guess do these love language things, you know what I mean? Like, but like, you gotta do you.

• 2:03:15Stavros Halkias?

  I agree.

• 2:03:16Speaker 03

  In partnership, you have to like, you show up for the other person because you are thinking of them and you love them and you know them and you know.

• 2:03:23Stavros Halkias?

  Their life easier.

• 2:03:23Speaker 03

  You wanna make their life easier and you just, and it should be, it becomes hopefully second nature.

• 2:03:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 2:03:29Speaker 03

  Ten years in.

• 2:03:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it shouldn't be harder ten years in.

• 2:03:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:03:33Stavros Halkias?

  It should be, you should understand each other's rhythms a little better.

• 2:03:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:03:36Stavros Halkias?

  And what this boils down to, if we take out the, the love language parlance is like, this guy wants to fuck and you want him to do chores. It's turned into a fucking Tim Allen routine from the eighties. Which is like, my wife won't blow me unless I do the dishes. It's like, I hate to fucking, again, let's cut through the love language stuff, but it's like acts of service versus physical affection. We can fucking read between the lines here. Is there a reason you don't want to be as affectionate? Is there a reason he doesn't want to do stuff for you? You gotta get to the bottom of that. I don't know. That's as he, you know, and of course, that's as, that's as easy, that's as much as I can give you. I'm also a, you know, a bachelor, what can I say?

• 2:04:20Stavros Halkias?

  It's been a while since I, I've never been in a ten year relationship. The longest relationship I've been has been like, you know, a couple of years. So, I don't know what to tell you. Uh, but good luck out there. Go to therapy maybe, sorry. And, uh, you know, I don't want to tell you, really think about your relationship and see if it makes sense, but.

• 2:04:38Speaker 03

  I mean, it's, it's better than that fucking polyamorous cousin bullshit. You got that going for you.

• 2:04:44Stavros Halkias?

  That is true. You're in a much better position than that guy.

• 2:04:47Speaker 03

  Yeah. Not a freak show like that other guy.

• 2:04:50Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking guy, that grief stricken son of a bitch who's fucking, who's the tragic laws of his wife, re fucking melted his brain and thinks he's gotta get into vests and fucking multiple people at night. Starts talking about fluid bonding. All right, LD, what else we got here? We're rolling. We got some great advice.

• 2:05:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:05:14Speaker 06

  Hey elders, sorry about that last voicemail. My phone died mid voicemail. Anyways, I was hoping that you could hook me up and tell that filthy Greek that you work for about my problems.

• 2:05:25Stavros Halkias?

  You're not speaking to elders directly, you understand that, right?

• 2:05:27Speaker 06

  And my problem is that I recently got off parole in California and moved up north to Oregon. And I haven't been with my family in some time and they have brought in a ton of tiny dogs.

• 2:05:38Stavros Halkias?

  A ton?

• 2:05:39Speaker 06

  And my problem is that my mom's dog comes on me. And they're a small breed, which, you know, like, stop dick, which is big for a dog, but that's not the point here. Um, I would just, you know, grab it by the scruff of the neck and throw it down, but it's, it's so small. It just jumps on my chest and comes on me. And like, it's like, he just like, it's a dominant posture and my mom thinks it's the funniest shit. And I'm just trying to go to school and live at the house and not be sexually assaulted. Uh, every single day, like as soon as he comes out of my mom's room in the morning while I'm eating,

• 2:06:23Speaker 06

  uh, drinking my coffee, uh, he charges downstairs, jumps onto my chest and comes on me and kind of dares me to do anything about it. Because my mom will defend him and be like, oh no, that's just my poor baby. But the thing is, my stuffed panda that I've had my whole fucking entire life, uh, he raped when I was in prison. He, he, he, he just on it somewhere and threw it away before I got out. Um, yeah, that's it. That's it. My mom's dog comes on me.

• 2:06:52Stavros Halkias?

  Every morning this dog nuts on your chest?

• 2:06:53Speaker 06

  Basically every chance he gets and I don't know what to do. Kill it? Maybe come on it? I'm not sure.

• 2:06:59Stavros Halkias?

  You shouldn't come on a dog.

• 2:07:00Speaker 06

  Uh, and, uh, exalted guests, take care.

• 2:07:05Stavros Halkias?

  Is this real?

• 2:07:06Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 2:07:06Stavros Halkias?

  Feels fake.

• 2:07:08Speaker 04

  It feels fake. I wondered this when I screened this.

• 2:07:11Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 2:07:12Speaker 04

  Here are some.

• 2:07:12Stavros Halkias?

  Walk me through your thought process about this.

• 2:07:14Speaker 04

  Here are some clues why I'm willing to entertain it.

• 2:07:17Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 2:07:18Speaker 04

  I have known small dogs that do get excitable. I don't know about coming, but I Googled it and apparently that is a thing sometimes.

• 2:07:26Speaker 03

  You got two small dogs. I've never even heard of this.

• 2:07:30Speaker 04

  I have, I have seen, I have seen dogs that when you walk in the house, they

• 2:07:33Stavros Halkias?

  Like get excited and pee all over themselves. Sure. So I think it's like maybe a similar thing. Okay, but this. Here's another clue. What he's describing as his mom's reaction, like, oh, that's my baby. Ha ha. They laugh it off. I can see that, too. I can. I'll give you that. I could see like a dog owner like just being like, oh, that's just cute. He's just a dog. He doesn't know any better. Especially when she's poured all her love into the dog while you were in prison. Like, well, this is my child now. And then the last clue I would say is, uh, you know, he has a rough around the edges way of speaking. He's referring to this dog raping his stuffed animal in a way that, you know, I believe this guy's on parole, whether or not this is real or not.

• 2:08:18Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, all right. I guess, fine, Elvis. You've pleaded your case. That's my apology for letting this one slip through. And you know what? I made fun of this guy for, this is, this is what a mark you are. This guy fucking just addressed you directly and you were like, I'm gonna advocate for him. I'm going to make, I'm gonna make it so that we do answer his question.

• 2:08:39Speaker 03

  I'm happy for him that it seems like nothing this bad has happened, nothing even approaching this bad has happened to him in prison. So he's like, this is the most traumatic thing.

• 2:08:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. In terms of the jizz you're getting daily, it's much better to get chihuahua cum on your dickies at your mom's house. Then a fucking arsonist's cum on your chin on the top bunk. So all things considered, look at it that way.

• 2:09:10Speaker 03

  You know, make it a fun game. See if you can just avoid the dog and get treats. Treats.

• 2:09:16Stavros Halkias?

  How about this? He maybe he's attracted to your scent. Go work out in a shirt, get it real musky. And then put it on a stuffed animal and see if he fucks that stuffed animal. If he raped your panda, which I'm sorry to hear about, can you get him a different stuffed animal for him to fuck?

• 2:09:32Speaker 03

  Toss that into the house before you go in there and then enjoy your coffee.

• 2:09:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 2:09:37Speaker 03

  And watch it.

• 2:09:39Stavros Halkias?

  Are there chihuahua pocket pussies? Is there some kind of, is there something for a thing to fuck? I think that's just what stuffed animals are. Yeah.

• 2:09:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, essentially, all the, all of those pet smart are just, they all have, why do they all have a little finger hole in them that you, oh, it's a puppet.

• 2:09:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's for snack pellets.

• 2:09:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, that's right. You hide the treat in there.

• 2:10:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you could create, you, how about this? Let's get back to the way you learned in prison, how they make those pussies out of sponges or whatever. Make him one of those, get a stuffed animal, cut out the ass, make him a tiny little dog prison pocket pussy out of gloves and sponges and dial soap. And that way, everybody's happy.

• 2:10:21Speaker 03

  I mean, there's just no way, this is just your crossed bear. I'm sorry. There's no way around this. I'm thinking like, and like I said, we got two little cute dogs. It's like, oh, they do this, they do that. One of our dogs is getting, Ronnie's like 13 now. She's pissing inside a little bit. Never used to do that. It's just, we deal with it. We love her through it. Oh, it's cute. It's cute.

• 2:10:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:10:42Speaker 03

  It pissed me off the first few times because she's very housebroken. And now all of a sudden she's, well, she's old, you know? It's cute that she did that. So you got dogs coming on you.

• 2:10:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the dog's coming on you. He's threatened. There's masculine energy in the house.

• 2:10:56Speaker 03

  It's, yeah, it, it's.

• 2:10:58Stavros Halkias?

  He's putting you in your place.

• 2:11:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, you gotta, I think, unfortunately, and I hate to say this, I think you're the problem.

• 2:11:08Stavros Halkias?

  Commit another crime.

• 2:11:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:11:11Stavros Halkias?

  Get back to jail, man.

• 2:11:14Speaker 03

  You're a better living arrangement. The living with your mom getting jizzed on every day by her pooch.

• 2:11:22Stavros Halkias?

  And there's no way to fucking fix this dog. Your mom won't hear of it.

• 2:11:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, isn't there a way to, so wait a minute.

• 2:11:28Stavros Halkias?

  Neuter the dog?

• 2:11:29Speaker 03

  Do you still, do they, would they still be able to?

• 2:11:32Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think they nut if you neuter them.

• 2:11:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:11:34Stavros Halkias?

  It's not like a vasectomy.

• 2:11:36Speaker 03

  It's apparently, it's like mean to do to a dog, like later on, it hurts more or whatever, but.

• 2:11:42Stavros Halkias?

  Well, hey.

• 2:11:42Speaker 03

  The dog's coming on you. Someone, something's got to, something's got to break.

• 2:11:46Stavros Halkias?

  Something's got to give.

• 2:11:47Speaker 03

  Something's got to give.

• 2:11:49Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 2:11:50Speaker 03

  He seems very, he seems very kind about it, even though it's, he doesn't even sound too upset. I mean, I know he's upset.

• 2:11:58Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 2:11:59Speaker 03

  And he's, like you said, using some pretty rough language to describe what this cute little doggy is doing, but.

• 2:12:05Stavros Halkias?

  So look, man, create a little dog for him to fuck out of stuff, out of your shirt and a stuffed animal. You'll be fine, bro. Put it next to you. It sounds like he's coming on your chest while you're drinking coffee.

• 2:12:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, what are you doing? Why are you lying down?

• 2:12:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:12:20Speaker 03

  Like, just, I'm sure you're gonna have to be alert. You just have to be on your shit when you go to your moms.

• 2:12:25Stavros Halkias?

  I know you thought you, that was over for you, but it's not.

• 2:12:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:12:30Stavros Halkias?

  What do you got, Els? You got something nice for us to go out on here?

• 2:12:36Speaker 06

  What's up, stoppers? Longtime listener, just calling in. I've heard all these people talk about their relationship problems and thought I'd ask what your opinion is on someone who's 28 years old and has only ever been in a relationship with one woman. And it wasn't even dating, like, I, like, we met each other and then within a week or two, we were pretty serious. We dated for a while, but after we broke up, she was married for, she got married within like,

• 2:13:06Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 2:13:06Speaker 06

  six months of us breaking up. So, I don't know, long story short, I'm 28 and don't really know how to get into the dating scene. So, I hear you talk to these other people and see if we can get a unique situation in here. Have a great day.

• 2:13:24Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 2:13:25Speaker 03

  He sounds a little shy. That's okay.

• 2:13:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, sounds like a shy guy.

• 2:13:28Speaker 03

  Just a shy guy.

• 2:13:29Stavros Halkias?

  Again, not really the kind of fun ones we like to go out on, El, this, you maybe would've wanted to flip the order of these.

• 2:13:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:13:35Stavros Halkias?

  A chihuahua nutting on a guy's chest, a lot funnier than this guy who just needs real cogent advice.

• 2:13:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:13:42Stavros Halkias?

  For this poor man who's only-

• 2:13:44Speaker 03

  There's no trauma bonding or doggy coming in this one.

• 2:13:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:13:48Stavros Halkias?

  28, one relationship, that's not so bad, bro. It's really not a big deal at all. I mean, I, I've only been in like, I don't know, I guess like, three real relat-, ah, three or four real relationships and one like, two very official official relationships, whatever.

• 2:14:07Stavros Halkias?

  Now, are you, is that the only girl you fucked? That's a little different, maybe, yeah.

• 2:14:13Speaker 03

  I think you would have mentioned that, whatever. To me, it seems like he's, that's why I say I believe this is just a person.

• 2:14:19Stavros Halkias?

  A shy guy, yeah.

• 2:14:20Speaker 03

  You're going at your own pace and that's okay. You'll find it. You're still young.

• 2:14:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:14:24Speaker 03

  You are, I mean, you know, like, also, he seems very daunted by dating.

• 2:14:29Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 2:14:29Speaker 03

  And just get online, do the online dating. There's lots of people and just take your practice, talking.

• 2:14:34Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's, that is what it is, is like, cause again, I, we've, you know, me and Elders were fucking losers for much of our lives. You could argue, someone might argue, we still are, despite the success. Uh, but there, I know this feeling of being like, maybe I wasn't 28, but I was like, you know, 21, 22, like, uh, where, and then even after that, when I'm like 23, I got out of my first relationship in college, but before that, I was like fucking scared. And I could like talk, and I could do everything until it got romantic and then I got scared, right?

• 2:15:11Speaker 03

  I was like that when I was, yeah, in my early twenties for sure. I was like not, I was just very, yeah, I was very, I was very timid when it came to, and you know.

• 2:15:20Stavros Halkias?

  And that might be.

• 2:15:21Speaker 03

  It's interesting, cause it's like, you're talking about being like, eh, eh, you're a kid, you're class clown, blah, blah, blah. You don't have to be completely adept at everything, just cause your, your, your peers are and it's okay to go at your own pace.

• 2:15:31Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, and that, and hopefully that makes you feel better, because it's like, yeah, both of us were probably like very outgoing, boisterous people that no one might have even assumed that was an issue. Like, I remember friends of mine were like confused, where I was like, when I, cause I was never shy until it was like a girl I liked.

• 2:15:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:15:47Stavros Halkias?

  And then I was like the shyest guy of all time.

• 2:15:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:15:50Stavros Halkias?

  And all that was, was being scared of rejection. That's really what it boils down to. And maybe you're in that situation too, maybe that's why you hit it off with a girl and you were immediately like, great, I'm dating her. Cause I found one woman that makes me feel comfortable.

• 2:16:04Speaker 03

  Well said.

• 2:16:04Stavros Halkias?

  You know, and so just, brother, it ain't, there's no secret here. There's, you know, the general advice we give everybody, if you're feeling bad about yourself, just try and make a little, some improvements. Not even for, uh, you know, the shallow reasons, but because whatever you do to, when you feel like you're making progress, you feel more, um, confident in general. So whatever that is.

• 2:16:29Stavros Halkias?

  You know, dressing better, losing weight, exercising, like, you know, whatever, whatever the fuck you want to do, maybe that'll help. But even if you don't do any of that shit, just start taking swings, bro. Start, start failing. Take some losses, and then eventually you will fucking win. Where are you going? You gotta piss? I'm so clearly wrapping up the episode. No, go piss. I mean, hilarious stuff. I love Elvis, man.

• 2:16:57Speaker 03

  You know, there's a good chance that this, that this caller would maybe needed advice, at which point they called in. But seeing these first three or four calls is now going, I got no problems. I'm just a guy who's a little bit, a little bit slow to the game. Not a big deal at all. I agree with everything you're saying.

• 2:17:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, just fuck, take, you should make it your goal to get rejected, because then you will accidentally, someone will be into you. There's, you gotta free yourself of the worry of getting rejected. That's all it is. And that's like the fear of like, I remember again, being young and being scared of women who probably were also nervous. And it's just like, they're just, they're other, they're just fucking people, man. And when you're a fucking no, no pussy getting loser, it doesn't feel that way.

• 2:17:47Speaker 03

  It can be fun, it can be fun, throwing a few rejections in a row and going, hey, this ain't that big a deal. I can take it. And you do learn a lot about yourself, you know, and it's not supposed to work out with everybody. You know, that's the fun thing about dating is you should be able to, you know, see someone, meet them, whatever, have a date and, and realize, I don't really.

• 2:18:12Stavros Halkias?

  This would be a nightmare.

• 2:18:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm not really into this person, or they're not really into me. And, and be able to understand that because you've had the experience to go, not everyone's for me. Certainly, I'm not going to be for everybody. You don't have to take it personally. But at 28 years of age, I don't think you're, I don't think, and the fact that he mentions his age, I think, is something that's interesting. And that's why, yeah, Stavi and I both saying, oh, yeah, here's where we were in our early twenties, not far off. You're on your own, you're on your own schedule. It's not a big deal.

• 2:18:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you'll be fine, little buddy. Get out there, try and, try and get sucked off a couple times. It'll eventually work for you. Um, this, I gotta say, this cold brew and the banh mi I had right before are really running through me. So we gotta end this one quick. Will, thank you for fucking being on. Thanks for having me. I gotta hit that bathroom. Elders just hit within seconds. Yay. So, please stick around. You know, if you've got stuff to do, I won't take it personally if you leave, but I gotta hit that bathroom. See you guys. Talk to you next time.

• 2:19:30Speaker 00

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