If Ant & Dec Never Became Famous… 🤔

It’s Voice note Monday, and the boys are diving into alternative careers, PJ & Duncan’s cringiest songs, and the secret ingredient that keeps their friendship fresh! Plus, Ant’s been on the Orient Express and shares his strict travel rules, while Dec reveals a very questionable sandwich filling… Tune in and keep your correspondence coming at [email protected] ----- 01:35 - Voicenote Monday 02:50 - Ant’s Strict Packing 07:15 - All Dec’s On Board 08:20 - PJ & Duncan Cringiest Songs 10:19 - The Woman in the Wardrobe 12:50 - Misheard Lyrics 15:00 - A Different Career18:40 - Laughter keeps Friendship Alive 20:10 - Sandwich Fillings Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:31Speaker 01

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• 1:02Speaker 02

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• 1:39Ant McPartlin?

  Have you guys got to sing along to your theme tune? Or just me?

• 1:42Declan Donnelly?

  It's just you.

• 1:43Ant McPartlin?

  Just me?

• 1:43Declan Donnelly?

  Just you.

• 1:44Ant McPartlin?

  I reckon there's people out there that sing along to our theme tune. There must be. Get in touch, let us know.

• 1:49Declan Donnelly?

  Do you like the theme tune? We agonized for the theme tune for a long time, didn't we?

• 1:54Ant McPartlin?

  There was a lot of talk of the theme tune. But we liked it.

• 1:56Declan Donnelly?

  We agonized.

• 1:57Ant McPartlin?

  Turn me on, Jack, turn me on.

• 1:58Declan Donnelly?

  Hello, hello. You're on. Welcome back to the Hangout for another Hanging Out bonus pod with me and him. I feel a little bit unprepared for this.

• 2:06Ant McPartlin?

  Well, good, as you should be.

• 2:08Declan Donnelly?

  No, it's just I haven't got a lot of tea left.

• 2:09Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, I see, right.

• 2:10Declan Donnelly?

  I've drank most of my tea already.

• 2:11Ant McPartlin?

  As the yellow phone is here, it's the banana phone, which is voice notes, voice recordings, messages from you guys.

• 2:17Declan Donnelly?

  If you're just listening, yes, the phone is out on the desk. We have a bunch of your voice notes backed up, ready to listen, ready to answer.

• 2:25Ant McPartlin?

  Backed up, sounds. Wrong.

• 2:28Declan Donnelly?

  Like constipated.

• 2:29Ant McPartlin?

  You're constipated, yeah.

• 2:30Declan Donnelly?

  We're constipated with messages.

• 2:32Ant McPartlin?

  Now I'm just going to put the phone to me here.

• 2:36Declan Donnelly?

  Well, let's hope they're not all

• 2:40Declan Donnelly?

  I'm gonna have to bleep that.

• 2:41Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, shall I dive straight in? That's what, would you like some more hot water for your tea? Have you rung that bag dry?

• 2:48Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 2:48Ant McPartlin?

  How many times have you topped that off?

• 2:49Declan Donnelly?

  That's the second top up.

• 2:50Ant McPartlin?

  You can't do that again, nigga.

• 2:51Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 2:52Ant McPartlin?

  And you like to save a bit of money.

• 2:54Declan Donnelly?

  I'll hang out on the line.

• 2:57Declan Donnelly?

  We'll dry it off. I might get another couple of cups out of that. Still got caffeine in green tea, you know, I'll still get a bit jittery if I have too many.

• 3:04Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, here is voice recording one.

• 3:09Speaker 05

  Hi, I'm Jolie and I'm from Kent.

• 3:10Declan Donnelly?

  Hi, Jolie.

• 3:11Speaker 05

  I was wondering what your travel habits are. Do you leave everything to the last minute and rock up late? Or do you like to get to airports and stations early to get the snacks in and make that part of your holiday? Thanks, respect, guys.

• 3:25Ant McPartlin?

  Respect to you.

• 3:26Declan Donnelly?

  Respect, Jolie.

• 3:26Ant McPartlin?

  What a lovely chirpy message that was from you, Jolene. Jolene?

• 3:30Declan Donnelly?

  Jolie.

• 3:31Ant McPartlin?

  Jolie?

• 3:31Declan Donnelly?

  Jolie.

• 3:32Ant McPartlin?

  Jolie. Jolie. Jolie. Why do you want to know about my habits?

• 3:39Declan Donnelly?

  How are you as a traveller?

• 3:42Declan Donnelly?

  He's very impatient. He's head down and a scurrier.

• 3:46Ant McPartlin?

  I am, I am.

• 3:47Declan Donnelly?

  He likes to bowl through the airport.

• 3:49Ant McPartlin?

  Well, let me tell you this, right? People scoff at me because I like to get through the airport quickly and I don't like it if I'm travelling with the family.

• 3:58Declan Donnelly?

  You don't like going out with, he doesn't like taking his family away, he likes going his own.

• 4:02Ant McPartlin?

  And people have got too much stuff. So I'm a real stickler, I'm like, can we do hand luggage only? Right? And they're like, we can't get everything. I said, you can, you've just got to pack, you've just got to think about it. Pack correctly and you'll be able to do hand luggage only. I'm going to give you a great example of what, I travelled recently. I got a birthday present off my wife, which was wonderful. It was a trip on the Orient Express. Which was on my list of things to do, right? I've always wanted to do it and she surprised us and we flew, we had to fly to Venice. So it was only one night, but we flew to Venice, stayed in Venice for the night and then got the train back from Venice all the way to Paris and then we flew from Paris back to the UK.

• 4:45Declan Donnelly?

  Did anyone get murdered on the Orient Express?

• 4:48Ant McPartlin?

  Nobody.

• 4:48Declan Donnelly?

  How disappointing.

• 4:50Ant McPartlin?

  But this is how I packed. I had one little wheelie overhead suitcase that can go in the cabin.

• 4:57Declan Donnelly?

  Four wheeler or two wheeler? Was it a spinner?

• 5:00Ant McPartlin?

  It was a spinner, he can spin it, yeah.

• 5:01Declan Donnelly?

  Doing well.

• 5:02Ant McPartlin?

  But I didn't want to put anything in the hold, right? But I knew I had to dress up smart for dinner.

• 5:08Declan Donnelly?

  That's, that's a lot to cram into that little wheelie.

• 5:11Ant McPartlin?

  And we're having the night in Venice as well. So I travelled day one in my travel outfit, right? Over to Venice, went out for dinner, buy change in a shirt, right? Easy, that's easy. The next day to get on the Orient Express, you've got to be smart. No jeans and trainers are forbidden, it says on the invite, forbidden. Which I'm all for, by the way. It's good, you know, you want to dress up. So in my little wheelie, I had a tuxedo with a white shirt, diggy bow tie, black paint leather shoes, and I also had a brown suit with a little yellow jumper, different shoes, and I had two shirts, the shirt I changed into in Venice for dinner,

• 5:56Ant McPartlin?

  and a shirt that I wore to travel home from the airport, and toiletries.

• 6:05Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you, thank you. I hope that answers your question.

• 6:09Declan Donnelly?

  That all fit in that little wheelie?

• 6:11Ant McPartlin?

  It did when I packed it.

• 6:12Declan Donnelly?

  Did you look like a creased mess?

• 6:14Ant McPartlin?

  Not at all. I picked good fabrics. I picked good fabrics that didn't crease.

• 6:18Declan Donnelly?

  Nice.

• 6:19Ant McPartlin?

  Or if they were creased, they were meant to be. So two linen shirts, so it doesn't matter.

• 6:23Declan Donnelly?

  Doesn't matter.

• 6:24Ant McPartlin?

  Because it's meant to look creased. And then the other brown suit that I had was like a tweedy Kenneth wool, which doesn't crease. I was very proud of myself. So I'm a real stickler. If I travel with anyone, only take what is really needed.

• 6:37Declan Donnelly?

  That's good.

• 6:38Ant McPartlin?

  What about yourself?

• 6:39Declan Donnelly?

  I like getting there early. I like getting there in plenty of time. I get through security. I like getting there. But as soon as the gate is called, let's get down to the gate.

• 6:48Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 6:49Declan Donnelly?

  Because I like to get on the plane.

• 6:51Ant McPartlin?

  But what if you just hang it on the gate for ages?

• 6:54Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I try and time it so by the time I get down to the gate, it's time to board. But the great thing about having kids is that they board you first.

• 7:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, they do.

• 7:01Declan Donnelly?

  Like Jack, get in that buggy.

• 7:02Ant McPartlin?

  I've just learnt this, this is excellent.

• 7:04Declan Donnelly?

  Get in that buggy and pretend you're a baby. So you get to board first. I like getting on the plane, getting all my stuff up in the cabin, under the seat in front of you. Getting all of that, have everything. I'm quite organised. So for somebody who is eternally late for everything.

• 7:21Ant McPartlin?

  Everything.

• 7:22Declan Donnelly?

  I'm early for the airport.

• 7:24Ant McPartlin?

  I had something recently flying back from Newcastle where I had my little wheelie, but I had a buggy as well. He had his bag, my wife had her bag and I'm like, okay, we are technically, we've still got one thing each and a buggy. But it just felt like a lot, right? And she was saying, I think we should check it in. I was like, no, no, check it in. You know the rules. This is a domestic flight, hand luggage only. We do not check in. But when we got there, she has real anxiety of overhead locker space.

• 7:51Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:52Ant McPartlin?

  Getting there.

• 7:52Declan Donnelly?

  I get that.

• 7:53Ant McPartlin?

  Do you?

• 7:54Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 7:55Ant McPartlin?

  My wife hates it, right?

• 7:56Declan Donnelly?

  I said to Ali, we've got to get on the plane.

• 7:58Ant McPartlin?

  That's what she said.

• 7:59Declan Donnelly?

  In case the locker, the bins go.

• 8:00Ant McPartlin?

  And they'd gone, all of them gone. So we were in row two.

• 8:03Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's a nightmare.

• 8:04Ant McPartlin?

  Row one had gone, row two had gone, which I was in. So someone had put their bags in my, my overhead locker. Row three had gone and row four had gone.

• 8:12Declan Donnelly?

  That's unacceptable.

• 8:13Ant McPartlin?

  And there was only one row of people. So boy, did I talk loudly.

• 8:18Declan Donnelly?

  And looked at everybody.

• 8:19Ant McPartlin?

  And looked at everybody who didn't look me in the eye.

• 8:24Ant McPartlin?

  Just took a sigh.

• 8:27Ant McPartlin?

  I'm just gonna get the bags out. I said a lot.

• 8:30Declan Donnelly?

  Somebody's taking up all the space down here, dear.

• 8:32Ant McPartlin?

  That's exactly what I said loudly.

• 8:34Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 8:34Ant McPartlin?

  I didn't say dear. Pet.

• 8:37Declan Donnelly?

  Pet. Babe.

• 8:41Declan Donnelly?

  Somebody's taking all.

• 8:44Declan Donnelly?

  Somebody's taking all the luggage here, babe.

• 8:48Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I do that. Before I get on the plane, I get everything I need. Headphones, get my iPad out, get everything out. So as soon as I get on, boom, it's up there in the locker.

• 8:55Ant McPartlin?

  And that's it.

• 8:56Declan Donnelly?

  She does the thing where she gets on and goes, "Right, what do I need out of this bag?" And people are getting on and putting stuff up and like, this has got to go up pretty soon, otherwise.

• 9:05Ant McPartlin?

  So it's not like me then? Everyone takes them out of me?

• 9:08Declan Donnelly?

  No, I, you shouldn't have this out already. We've got to reserve this. Let me put it up there.

• 9:15Ant McPartlin?

  It's true though.

• 9:16Declan Donnelly?

  Let me get the bag up there. I say, let me put it up there. And then when everybody's on, I get it back down and get what you need. But don't do it now because someone's going to nick the space.

• 9:23Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I agree.

• 9:24Declan Donnelly?

  I get very, very anxious.

• 9:25Ant McPartlin?

  Do you get your Suzuki out before?

• 9:27Declan Donnelly?

  Before, it's all out.

• 9:28Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 9:28Declan Donnelly?

  Because that's in my little backpack, which goes under the seat in front. It's very stressful travelling with us.

• 9:33Ant McPartlin?

  What trauma did we have in our, in our past where we've really feel like we've got to get through so quickly and with less luggage? So it must have gone wrong somewhere.

• 9:41Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, plenty's gone wrong.

• 9:42Ant McPartlin?

  Great first question though. Thank you so much, Jolene.

• 9:46Declan Donnelly?

  Jolie.

• 9:47Ant McPartlin?

  Jolie.

• 9:49Declan Donnelly?

  Let's have another voice now.

• 9:51Speaker 06

  Hello, Christine here. So quick one. Looking back across all your albums, what is your best and most cringey song from each? And how are you going to explain some of those lyrics to your kids one day? Some of them, let's be real, they're pretty questionable. Love you. Take care.

• 10:08Ant McPartlin?

  Oh God. Well, all of them are cringey because they were written in the nineties and we were kind of rappers.

• 10:17Declan Donnelly?

  So like the first album, our best song was probably Let's Get Ready to Rumble.

• 10:20Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 10:21Declan Donnelly?

  And our most cringey song was probably Let's Get Ready to Rumble.

• 10:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Second album, uh, best song, When I Fall in Love, I would say.

• 10:29Declan Donnelly?

  Was that the, was that the second album?

• 10:31Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Or was that the third album?

• 10:33Declan Donnelly?

  I think that was the third album.

• 10:33Ant McPartlin?

  Was it?

• 10:35Declan Donnelly?

  Second album was.

• 10:36Ant McPartlin?

  Top Cats.

• 10:36Declan Donnelly?

  Top Cats.

• 10:36Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, you do Cats.

• 10:37Declan Donnelly?

  You Crazy Cats, Stuck on You.

• 10:39Ant McPartlin?

  What was Shout on? That was a good one. Shout was a good song.

• 10:41Declan Donnelly?

  Last album?

• 10:42Ant McPartlin?

  Nah, that wasn't cringey. The only one I had lead vocals on.

• 10:49Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, most, most of them are cringey. I don't think I can pick a cringey.

• 10:51Ant McPartlin?

  Nah, nah.

• 10:52Declan Donnelly?

  And the second part of the question was, how are we going to explain some of those to our children when they're older?

• 10:58Ant McPartlin?

  Well, not really. I'm just gonna hope that they never stumble across them.

• 11:01Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, they just won't, they won't play them.

• 11:03Ant McPartlin?

  Nah.

• 11:03Declan Donnelly?

  Nobody plays them.

• 11:04Ant McPartlin?

  Nah.

• 11:05Declan Donnelly?

  Anymore.

• 11:05Ant McPartlin?

  The only song they'll ever hear is Let's Get Rid Of Rumble.

• 11:08Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I don't think any of the others are.

• 11:11Ant McPartlin?

  Which got number one, that's a lot of explaining. Number one, baby. Number one. Number one.

• 11:15Declan Donnelly?

  Only took nineteen years, but it got to number one.

• 11:17Ant McPartlin?

  It did. It was released in nineteen ninety-four and got to number one after we did it on Saturday Night Takeaway, nineteen years later.

• 11:25Declan Donnelly?

  It got to number one as a joke, basically. People got it number one as a joke.

• 11:30Speaker 07

  It's a great song.

• 11:31Declan Donnelly?

  It is a banger.

• 11:32Ant McPartlin?

  It is a good song.

• 11:33Speaker 07

  It's a culturally significant song.

• 11:35Ant McPartlin?

  A culturally significant song. Well, thanks.

• 11:39Declan Donnelly?

  It's been called a lot of things, but never that.

• 11:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, a lot of things that began with the C word, but it was never that.

• 11:46Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 11:47Declan Donnelly?

  Rap with a capital C.

• 11:50Declan Donnelly?

  Let's have another voice note.

• 11:51Speaker 06

  Hi, Aunt and Dec. It's Pip here from Scotland. I'm currently listening to your podcast while I'm hiding in my wardrobe from my children. Um, but it has got me thinking, nobody ever says Dec and Aunt. It just sounds almost illegal. So I was wondering if you guys could think of any other things that just don't sound right unless they're said a certain way around. So for me, for an example, I've thought of things like fish and chips. You just wouldn't say chips and fish.

• 12:20Ant McPartlin?

  No, you wouldn't.

• 12:21Speaker 06

  So, yeah, what other things can you guys think of?

• 12:24Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you wouldn't say pepper and salt, would you? You'd say salt and pepper.

• 12:27Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm.

• 12:28Ant McPartlin?

  It's, it, there's a lot of things like that that go together.

• 12:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 12:32Ant McPartlin?

  Knife and fork, fork and knife. Sounds like you're swearing.

• 12:34Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's common to say that.

• 12:35Ant McPartlin?

  Sounds like you're swearing, fork and knife.

• 12:36Declan Donnelly?

  Pass the fork and knife across the table.

• 12:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, there's, there's a lot of instances where names that have been said first for a long period should always stay that way. Because it does mean it's slightly illegal to change them, like Aunt and Dec.

• 12:51Declan Donnelly?

  But sometimes it's nice to change things up, isn't it?

• 12:54Ant McPartlin?

  Not really. Not really. Not really. I mean, I'm less concerned with her question and more the fact that she's hiding in the wardrobe from her children. A lock can go wrong there.

• 13:04Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:04Ant McPartlin?

  Like, if the kids come along and one of the kids decides to lean something heavy up against that wardrobe, she ain't getting out.

• 13:11Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 13:11Ant McPartlin?

  That's, that's, that's disastrous.

• 13:14Declan Donnelly?

  I guess she could, she could shout and bang.

• 13:17Ant McPartlin?

  She could, or the kids come along quietly and listen and they think that we're in the wardrobe with her. So she thinks that.

• 13:26Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, and then they tell dad.

• 13:30Ant McPartlin?

  That.

• 13:30Declan Donnelly?

  He goes off it.

• 13:31Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 13:32Declan Donnelly?

  Files for divorce.

• 13:33Ant McPartlin?

  Dad, mommy was in the wardrobe with Adam and Dec, how do you know, I heard them.

• 13:37Declan Donnelly?

  He gets on a train from Scotland to London to look for us to seek revenge. This could go really wrong.

• 13:44Ant McPartlin?

  This could go really wrong. It's a very good idea for a drama though. It's the good start of a good whodunit.

• 13:51Declan Donnelly?

  Sheridan Smith in a wardrobe at the beginning.

• 13:55Ant McPartlin?

  Who would pay me and you?

• 13:56Declan Donnelly?

  Andrew Scott. You can pay both of us.

• 13:58Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, because you can pay both of us.

• 14:00Declan Donnelly?

  Like Tom Hardy in The Cray.

• 14:02Ant McPartlin?

  In The Cray, yeah, yeah. Or Michael B Jordan in Sinners.

• 14:06Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 14:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that's it.

• 14:07Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you for the great idea, Pip.

• 14:09Ant McPartlin?

  Very, very good idea. Get out the wardrobe now, Pip, because we do worry about your safety and our safety when it's, when your husband's concerned.

• 14:17Speaker 07

  Do you know what an edcor is? Or spoonerisms? You know, when you say things like parcock or like you say things, two of those.

• 14:24Declan Donnelly?

  There's one that I get wrong quite a bit and we do it on telly sometimes is when you do a toine cos.

• 14:30Ant McPartlin?

  Toine cos.

• 14:30Declan Donnelly?

  I've said that a few times before. So before the show, we did a toine cos.

• 14:37Ant McPartlin?

  I've said so many wrong things, obviously, over the past, and it's just, it's just the way it is.

• 14:41Declan Donnelly?

  So many wrong things and some of them weren't eggcons, they were just wrong things.

• 14:45Speaker 07

  That's a spoonerism.

• 14:46Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, a spoonerism is the wrong way around.

• 14:48Speaker 07

  Yeah, and then an edcor is when you mishear a phrase.

• 14:51Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, right.

• 14:52Speaker 07

  So you think it's all like you mishear a lyric or you quote things wrong.

• 14:55Declan Donnelly?

  Misheard lyrics are brilliant. If, if you out there have any misheard lyrics that you thought were something else, send them in to us.

• 15:02Ant McPartlin?

  Send them in and send them in what you thought they were and we'll see if we can guess what the actual version is.

• 15:07Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, like Skin and Medial, um, Three Lions on the Shelf.

• 15:13Declan Donnelly?

  That's, that's obviously three lines on a shirt.

• 15:16Ant McPartlin?

  The jewels remain still gleaming, that lyric always gets people as well. Because they just don't know what.

• 15:20Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 15:21Ant McPartlin?

  If you don't know what that, that the first World Cup was called the jewels remain trophy, then people just, whenever people sing along to that song in crowds or whatever, they always get it wrong.

• 15:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 15:31Speaker 07

  I thought it was about the crown jewels.

• 15:33Ant McPartlin?

  See? Jewels remain still gleaming.

• 15:37Speaker 07

  Not the jewels remain.

• 15:39Ant McPartlin?

  No, jewels remain still gleaming.

• 15:40Declan Donnelly?

  Jewels remain is the trophy, is the original World Cup trophy, the jewels remain trophy.

• 15:44Ant McPartlin?

  Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body.

• 15:48Declan Donnelly?

  You know who Bill Oddie is?

• 15:50Ant McPartlin?

  Birdwatcher.

• 15:51Declan Donnelly?

  Birdwatcher.

• 15:52Ant McPartlin?

  Of course, he's not singing Bill Oddie.

• 15:54Declan Donnelly?

  She's singing erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body. What it sounds like, listen to it, it goes. Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body. That'll steam up these binoculars. Let's have another voice note.

• 16:09Speaker 05

  Hey, Anton, it's Lisa Manje and Renato here.

• 16:12Ant McPartlin?

  Hi.

• 16:12Speaker 05

  We're so looking forward to actually coming and seeing you at the King's Trust on the 11th of May at the Royal Albert Hall.

• 16:18Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks, good plug.

• 16:18Speaker 05

  My question is, if you had to have one wish of something else you could do, other than all the brilliant shows that you do today, what would that be?

• 16:28Ant McPartlin?

  A wish.

• 16:29Declan Donnelly?

  A wish.

• 16:31Declan Donnelly?

  A wish. We've got it pretty sweet, you know?

• 16:34Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we have, we have done, yeah, we've done, done well.

• 16:37Speaker 07

  What if you were told you could no longer work in media?

• 16:39Declan Donnelly?

  Oh!

• 16:40Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, get out of here!

• 16:42Speaker 07

  Weren't you gonna be a plumber?

• 16:45Ant McPartlin?

  My dad's a plumber and actually, last night, at the house, all the water pressure went and there was, we didn't have a hot shower. So I said, I'll be in charge of this, I'll sort this out. And all I done was top up the water, you know, like the overflow pipe, topped it up. And, and the plumber was still called because nobody trusted me. And by the time the plumber got there, he went, it was a waste of my time because what, what you've just done was the correct thing to do.

• 17:14Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you, thank you, thank you. I mean, he was a bit more annoyed than that, because it was a waste of his time, it was nine o'clock last night.

• 17:21Declan Donnelly?

  I bet he charged you for a call-out, though.

• 17:22Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah, that's a good point.

• 17:23Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, you'll get a bill for it.

• 17:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, boo.

• 17:25Declan Donnelly?

  You'll get a bill for it.

• 17:27Ant McPartlin?

  I would love to do some more acting.

• 17:29Declan Donnelly?

  You can't work in the media, and what didn't you understand about the question?

• 17:33Ant McPartlin?

  I'd like to open a coffee shop, near me.

• 17:35Declan Donnelly?

  Would you?

• 17:36Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I would. Near me, I think there's room for a really good artisan coffee shop, you know, like a really cool little place where people hang out. Artisan handmade.

• 17:44Declan Donnelly?

  Artisan, I know what it means, I know what it means.

• 17:47Ant McPartlin?

  I think, yeah, I'd quite like to do that.

• 17:50Declan Donnelly?

  It's a long, long, long day, long day.

• 17:53Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, I wouldn't be there from the start of the day.

• 17:55Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, you're just opening up.

• 17:56Ant McPartlin?

  I'll pop, pop off, see you, do this, pop back, we're kind of ready.

• 18:01Declan Donnelly?

  You'd be in there like that, just open the till up, just take that. See you, guys, give up the good work, yeah?

• 18:08Ant McPartlin?

  I mean, the fact nobody pays in cash anymore, I'll try that, yeah, yeah, oh, what do I do?

• 18:12Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 18:13Ant McPartlin?

  So, yeah, a comedy drama, we'd like, we've talked about, haven't we, about potentially, Darren?

• 18:17Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:18Ant McPartlin?

  You looked at me quite blankly then, like we had never talked, we've talked about that a lot.

• 18:21Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, no, I think it was something else. I'd like to do theatre.

• 18:25Ant McPartlin?

  We've been approached by some theatre producers all these years.

• 18:29Declan Donnelly?

  They were definitely theatre types, because they wore scarves inside.

• 18:32Ant McPartlin?

  Correct. But they were, we were very interested, actually, and we still might do something.

• 18:37Speaker 07

  An out-of-media?

• 18:38Ant McPartlin?

  Diary writing.

• 18:41Ant McPartlin?

  Calligraphy?

• 18:41Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know, maybe something attached to a hobby.

• 18:45Ant McPartlin?

  You don't have any hobbies?

• 18:46Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:47Speaker 07

  Tattoo artist?

• 18:48Declan Donnelly?

  I could, I could be a tattoo artist.

• 18:50Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 18:52Declan Donnelly?

  I could do that.

• 18:52Ant McPartlin?

  Give over. A tattoo artist?

• 18:55Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 18:55Ant McPartlin?

  Well, all right, well, you draw some of it then, the tattoo I'll get.

• 18:58Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, what about the stiff-fresh cheese bag man?

• 19:01Ant McPartlin?

  Cool.

• 19:03Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 19:03Ant McPartlin?

  Did I expect that, did you?

• 19:04Declan Donnelly?

  No, I didn't.

• 19:08Declan Donnelly?

  All right, I'll have a design as well.

• 19:09Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I'll do that.

• 19:10Declan Donnelly?

  Design.

• 19:11Ant McPartlin?

  Put it in there.

• 19:11Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, I'll slip it in and just see what you think of it.

• 19:14Ant McPartlin?

  Anonymously.

• 19:15Declan Donnelly?

  Anonymously.

• 19:16Ant McPartlin?

  Because then I know the one that doesn't have a name would be you.

• 19:18Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah, I'll give it a false name.

• 19:20Ant McPartlin?

  A fake name, pseudonym.

• 19:21Declan Donnelly?

  Ronnie Barker used to do that.

• 19:22Ant McPartlin?

  He did.

• 19:23Declan Donnelly?

  The two Ronnies, he used to write sketches and send them into the producer under a pseudonym called Gerald. And then they would read them and go, oh, that's quite funny, actually. It's been sent by Gerald, what's his name again? And it was Ronnie Barker all the time. But he wanted them to be judged solely on the quality of the script, not because it came from him.

• 19:42Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, so if I get a tattoo, a design, and it is by Gerald, I'll know it's you.

• 19:48Declan Donnelly?

  You'll know.

• 19:48Ant McPartlin?

  It's best to change the name.

• 19:49Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, I'll change it again.

• 19:50Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, right, next one.

• 19:52Speaker 05

  Hi, Ant and Dec, how are you guys?

• 19:54Declan Donnelly?

  Great.

• 19:55Speaker 05

  My name is Bernie.

• 19:56Declan Donnelly?

  Hi, Bernie.

• 19:57Speaker 05

  I'm from Greystones in County Whitlow.

• 19:59Declan Donnelly?

  Lovely.

• 19:59Speaker 05

  And the question I'd like to ask you both is, after working together all these years, what's the one thing that still surprises you?

• 20:09Ant McPartlin?

  I think whenever you laugh, not you, as in we, one of us laughs.

• 20:14Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 20:15Ant McPartlin?

  Whenever we make each other laugh, it's still a lovely surprise.

• 20:19Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 20:20Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know what I mean? It just, because you kind of, you would think after all these years, we've heard every joke, everything that would make the other one laugh.

• 20:28Declan Donnelly?

  And also, you kind of know what the other person's going to say a lot of the time. So sometimes we still catch each other out.

• 20:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that's, that's what I would say. When it's a lovely surprise like that, that's, that, yeah, that's what makes, makes us laugh. And that's the most surprising.

• 20:43Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, and we try and do that as well. Like when we're on I'm a Celebrity and stuff like that, we'll keep things back for the live show to try and make the other person laugh. I think that's quite a healthy thing to try and.

• 20:54Ant McPartlin?

  Spice up the relationship.

• 20:58Declan Donnelly?

  You've got to be able to laugh in the bedroom, haven't you?

• 21:01Ant McPartlin?

  Bernie.

• 21:02Declan Donnelly?

  Great question. You win question of the week. Is that a thing?

• 21:07Ant McPartlin?

  No, but it should be.

• 21:07Declan Donnelly?

  We should do that.

• 21:09Ant McPartlin?

  Question of the week. What did you win? Hanging out mug?

• 21:12Declan Donnelly?

  Tea towel. What about a tea towel? That's easy to post.

• 21:13Speaker 07

  Will you design us a tea towel?

• 21:15Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 21:15Ant McPartlin?

  What, a what?

• 21:16Speaker 07

  And, I mean, Deck.

• 21:17Declan Donnelly?

  I'm Deck.

• 21:18Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 21:20Declan Donnelly?

  It's the first time we've done that.

• 21:21Ant McPartlin?

  Wow.

• 21:22Declan Donnelly?

  You get one, one life. That's it.

• 21:25Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that's it. You're allowed to make one genuine mistake and after that, it's, you're fired.

• 21:31Speaker 07

  Will Deck design us a tea towel?

• 21:33Declan Donnelly?

  Yes. I'll design us a hanging out tea towel. And then we'll give it to question of the week. Have we got any more questions?

• 21:41Speaker 07

  One more?

• 21:41Declan Donnelly?

  One more. Bernie, you're in the lead.

• 21:43Speaker 06

  Hi, Ant and Deck. It's Caitlin from Newcastle. And my question is, what is your go-to fill-in for a sandwich?

• 21:52Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, great question because.

• 21:53Declan Donnelly?

  Well, hang on a minute. Well done Bernie. Congratulations.

• 21:58Ant McPartlin?

  Great question because I was recently in Newcastle and I had two sandwiches. Well, they weren't both mine. One was my wife's, one was mine, right? But we were at halves.

• 22:07Declan Donnelly?

  Of course you do.

• 22:08Ant McPartlin?

  You slid down the middle.

• 22:09Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 22:10Ant McPartlin?

  And it was cheese savory is one. Tremendous, by the way. So a cheese savory fill-in, if you haven't had one before, it's a bit, so you get coleslaw and you get cheese in there. And it was in a roll, a crusty roll, Glasgow roll, they called it, which is like crusty on top, soft in the middle. That was amazing.

• 22:31Declan Donnelly?

  What is the savory bit? Is that like a salad cream or a mayonnaise? Or what, what holds it all together?

• 22:36Ant McPartlin?

  The bun.

• 22:38Declan Donnelly?

  But it's got a bit of cheese savory. It's normally like a claggy old.

• 22:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it's quite claggy. So it's like coleslaw with cheese. And then you've got the butter at top and bottom. Honestly, it was amazing. And it had a bit of salt and pepper in there, a bit of mustard. It was lush.

• 22:54Declan Donnelly?

  Not feeling that.

• 22:54Ant McPartlin?

  And then the second sandwich I had was a, was a very traditional Geordie staple, which is a ham and peas pudding sandwich. Again, not in a stocky dough, in a Glasgow roll, this, which I'd never heard of before.

• 23:06Declan Donnelly?

  No, I've never heard of that.

• 23:07Ant McPartlin?

  But that was really good. Really good peas pudding.

• 23:10Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 23:11Ant McPartlin?

  So I think ham and peas pudding.

• 23:14Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 23:14Ant McPartlin?

  Yourself.

• 23:15Declan Donnelly?

  I do love a tuna with some mayonnaise.

• 23:17Ant McPartlin?

  Spruce onion?

• 23:18Declan Donnelly?

  Bit of spruce onion or red onion.

• 23:20Speaker 07

  Sweet corn?

• 23:21Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 23:22Ant McPartlin?

  Why? No sweet corn?

• 23:23Declan Donnelly?

  No, I'm not, I'm not a huge fan of sweet corn.

• 23:25Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:26Declan Donnelly?

  But I'll have a bit of cucumber in it.

• 23:28Ant McPartlin?

  Nice.

• 23:28Declan Donnelly?

  But that's not my favourite.

• 23:30Ant McPartlin?

  God's sake. He's so indecisive, he doesn't have a favourite anything.

• 23:34Declan Donnelly?

  I am very indecisive. I love an egg meal. May come as a shock to you.

• 23:39Ant McPartlin?

  Shut up, that stinks.

• 23:41Declan Donnelly?

  Egg meal.

• 23:41Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, give over.

• 23:43Declan Donnelly?

  Egg meal with smoked ham.

• 23:45Ant McPartlin?

  And the smoked ham on board with.

• 23:50Ant McPartlin?

  You giving him a round of applause?

• 23:52Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 23:52Ant McPartlin?

  For a sandwich filling. Give you a heater wobble.

• 23:56Declan Donnelly?

  On granary.

• 23:57Ant McPartlin?

  On granary, yeah, I love that. Yeah, yeah.

• 23:59Declan Donnelly?

  Is that all we've got time for?

• 24:00Speaker 07

  That is all we've got.

• 24:01Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, that's a shame.

• 24:02Declan Donnelly?

  Question of the week?

• 24:04Ant McPartlin?

  Question of the week goes to Brenda.

• 24:06Declan Donnelly?

  Bernie.

• 24:06Ant McPartlin?

  Bernie!

• 24:08Declan Donnelly?

  Well done Bernie, in County Wicklow.

• 24:10Ant McPartlin?

  County Wicklow.

• 24:11Declan Donnelly?

  I'll design a tea towel.

• 24:12Ant McPartlin?

  Tea towel.

• 24:13Declan Donnelly?

  We'll get the tea towel manufactured.

• 24:14Ant McPartlin?

  Manufactured!

• 24:15Declan Donnelly?

  And if we remember, by the time all that's done, we'll send you a tea towel.

• 24:19Ant McPartlin?

  Tea towel!

• 24:22Ant McPartlin?

  I'm like your hype man when it comes to the end of this podcast.

• 24:25Declan Donnelly?

  That's all we've got time for today?

• 24:26Ant McPartlin?

  Time for!

• 24:29Declan Donnelly?

  We'll be back, we'll have some postbag.

• 24:31Ant McPartlin?

  Postbag!

• 24:32Declan Donnelly?

  We'll have some diary.

• 24:33Ant McPartlin?

  Diary!

• 24:35Declan Donnelly?

  All the other stuff we normally do.

• 24:38Ant McPartlin?

  We'll do.

• 24:40Ant McPartlin?

  I'm missing the rest of it.

• 24:41Declan Donnelly?

  There'll be more.

• 24:41Ant McPartlin?

  Shut up!

• 24:42Declan Donnelly?

  There'll be more hanging out.

• 24:42Ant McPartlin?

  Come on, go to train to catch.

• 24:43Declan Donnelly?

  Bye! There'll be more hanging out on Thursday. See you then! Until then, respect guys. See you Thursday!

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