Do You Have This Too? | The Sphere of Choice

They knew that life was tough. They knew that a fragile person would not survive. But does that mean the Stoics were unfeeling? Utterly disconnected? Harsh and invulnerable? 🎙️ Interview mentioned: Donald Robertson: Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/in/podcast/donald-robertson-on-marcus-aurelius-and-understanding/id1430315931?i=1000574897658, Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/2uG08YomlqtY54Kr7ozVXA, YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cRyTI4i-u4 📓 Pick up a signed edition of The Daily Stoic Journal: 366 Days of Writing and Reflection on The Art of Living: https://store.dailystoic.com/products/the-daily-stoic-journal-signed-edition https://store.dailystoic.com/ https://store.dailystoic.com/ 👉 Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium https://dailystoic.supercast.com/ - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/ https://dailystoic.supercast.com/ 🎥 Watch the video episodes on The Daily Stoic YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos: https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos ✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail 🏛 Get Stoic inspired books, medallions, and prints to remember these lessons at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/ https://store.dailystoic.com/ 📱 Follow us: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dailystoic/, Twitter https://twitter.com/dailystoic, YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic, TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@daily_stoic?lang=en, and Facebook https://www.facebook.com/dailystoic See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a Stoic-inspired meditation, designed to help you find strength and insight and wisdom into everyday life. Each one of these episodes is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women, help you learn from them, to follow in their example, and to start your day off with a little dose of courage and discipline and justice and wisdom. For more, visit dailystoic.com.

• 0:56Ryan Holiday?

  Do you have this too? They were tough. They knew that life was tough. They knew that a fragile person would not survive. They also knew, back in the days of ancient Rome, that life was fragile, that even tough people could be cut down by disease, or events, or a tyrant. So yeah, there was a gruffness to the Stoics, a weariness of getting too close or too attached, lest your heart be broken by fortune. But does that mean that the Stoics were unfeeling, utterly disconnected, harsh and invulnerable? Hardly. In his fascinating biography of Marcus Aurelius, which you can grab from the painted porch, and he's discussed it on the podcast many times, Donald Robertson takes pains to note

• 1:39Ryan Holiday?

  a virtue exhibited by Marcus Aurelius's incredible mother, Lucilla, and he refers to her natural affection. "While the mothers of many emperors before him were ambitious and cruel, she was kind and generous and genuinely loved by her own children. Marcus," Donald writes, "came to agree with Fronto, his rhetoric teacher, that, generally speaking, those among us who are called patricians are rather deficient in precisely this quality."

• 2:07Ryan Holiday?

  Both Marcus and Fronto Donald point out, use the word that Paul would use in the Bible, which he used to say that Christians were to be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love. The Stoics loved and were loved. They honored their parents. They played with their children. And this is exactly how one would describe Cato's relationship to his brother, who lived very differently than he did, just as it would describe Marcus with his stepbrother Lucius Verus, who was also quite different. The Stoics were kind. They cared about people, and not just people they were related to, but all humankind.

• 2:56Ryan Holiday?

  The Sphere of Choice. And this is from this week's entry in the Daily Stoic Journal, "366 Days of Writing and Reflection on the Art of Living," by yours truly and my co-writer and translator, Stephen Hanselman. I actually do this journal every single day. There's a question in the morning, a question in the afternoon, then there's these sort of weekly meditations. As Epictetus says, "Every day and night, we keep thoughts like this at hand. Write them, read them aloud, and talk to yourself and others about them." You can check out the Daily Stoic Journal anywhere books are sold. You can also get a signed personalized copy from me in the Daily Stoic store at store.dailystoic.com. If the first step is to discern what is or isn't in our control, the second step in

• 3:39Ryan Holiday?

  Stoic philosophy is to focus the energy on the things we have a choice about. The Stoics viewed the soul as a sphere that, when well tuned, well directed, was an invincible fortress against any trial or circumstance. Protected by our reason, this sphere of choice was like a sacred temple, and it is the only thing we truly possess in this life. We are the product of our choices, so it is essential that we choose well. This week, consider and reflect on the choices you have about your emotions, your actions, your beliefs, and your priorities. Keep this thought at the ready at daybreak and through the day and night. There is only one path to happiness, and that is in giving up all that is outside

• 4:24Ryan Holiday?

  your sphere of choice regarding nothing else is your possession, surrendering all else to God and fortune. Epictetus Discourses 4:4. Who then is invincible, the one who cannot be upset by anything outside their reasoned choice? Epictetus Discourses 1:18. The soul is a sphere true to itself. It neither projects itself towards any external thing, nor does it collapse on itself, but instead radiates a light which it shows itself the truth of all things and truth in and of itself. Marcus Aurelius Meditations 11:12. Well, here we are. We were talking about this last week. You only have so many energy points.

• 5:07Ryan Holiday?

  You only have so much, so many resources. How are you going to spend them? Are you going to spend them on what's up to you? Are you going to spend them on what's not up to you? Are you going to emote about things and pretend that that makes a difference? Or are you going to spend your energy trying to do something about this thing that you found so upsetting? So I think people think that Stoicism is about resignation. It's not. It's about allocation. It's resigned to the things that make no difference, where you can make no difference. But it's very focused, intensely focused, on the areas that you can make a difference.

• 5:49Ryan Holiday?

  So you could despair about the larger political trends in your country because you're one person and you're at odds with the majority, but maybe you can make a difference with your family, with your community. You could run for school board or mayor or something like that. What can you do as the individual? That's not to say the Stoics aren't interested in collective action. I'm just saying, I'm going to focus my energy where it's going to make a difference. And as a Stoic, say, be indifferent to the things where I can make no difference. Where can you make a difference? You know, it gets tempting as a writer, right? Because our job as writers is to have opinions about things. That's a really dangerous way to go through your life, thinking that the world gives

• 6:34Ryan Holiday?

  a shit about your opinion, right? And that having the opinion is... The thing that matters and it doesn't matter, right? What matters is what you do. What are the actions, right? We ended the year with the idea from the Stoics about turning words into works. Well, what, what are you providing? Where, where are you putting your resources? And are you putting them towards where they have input? Where they have efficacy, right? So a Stoic has resigned in some sense to, look, I'm not going to get involved in that nonsense. I'm not going to waste time regretting the past either. What I'm going to try to do is move forward. What I'm going to try to do is move ahead. What I'm going to try to do is make some change where I can make some change. And, and yeah, I'm going to be indifferent to the, the things where that's not true.

• 7:17Ryan Holiday?

  And that's what we're talking about here, right? That's what the sphere of choice is about. And it's an easy thing to forget. And that's why Epictetus is saying, keep it ready in the morning. Think about it throughout the day and think about it at night. Saying there's one path to happiness. It's giving up the things that are outside your sphere of choice. Focusing on what else is in your possession, surrendering everything else. So it's being zen about the things that are not up to you. But there's a kind of invincibility in that zen, right? Because if I didn't make the call, I didn't do it. If it wasn't something that was up to me, I'm not going to, I'm not going to get upset by it. Remember Marcus saying, you don't have to have an opinion about this. You don't have to get upset.

• 8:01Ryan Holiday?

  But you should be upset about your own choices. Why did I do that? Why didn't I do that? Why did I, you know, why did I make this mistake? Why did I do this thing again? Then I told myself I was going to stop doing focus on you. Focus on your choices, make good choices. That's how you exert control over the world. Something I, you know, I remind myself, you see what's going on in the world and you can despair. You can feel sad or you can go, look, I've got two little kids in my house who I'm responsible for. The biggest multi-generational impact I can have is in raising them well. And then I go, and this is something Seneca failed. It's like Seneca spent all these years beating his head against the wall, trying to change Nero. He's affected far more people, had far more impact in his writing, where, which he did control.

• 8:45Ryan Holiday?

  So I go, okay, and look, I'm not going to yell at some, some person I know on social media for being, for being silly and have the impact on one person. But I, I am going to sit down and write about this or talk about this on the podcast in a way that can reach a lot of people, right? Let's stay in our lanes. Let's do what we can do. Let's try to make a difference where we can. And if we all do that cumulatively, that is collective action and that does have a big impact. So this is a short lesson today. It's a straightforward one, but it's so hard. And that's why Seneca's saying, you got to remind yourself constantly throughout the day, I'm going to focus on what's in my sphere of choice. That's where I have impact.

• 9:28Ryan Holiday?

  I'm going to focus on allocating my energy properly, not going to waste it on regret, not going to waste it on bitterness, on resentment, on anger, on fear, on worry, on hope. I'm going to focus on what I control. I'm going to make a difference there. So that's what Stoic does.

• 9:47Ryan Holiday?

  Hey, it's Ryan. Thank you for listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast. I just wanted to say we so appreciate it. We love serving you. It's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple of years we've been doing it. It's an honor. Please spread the word, tell people about it. And this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say thank you.