Lauren Graham: Lorelai, Love, & Life Lessons

Join Alex in the studio for an interview with Lauren Graham. Lauren reflects on her iconic role as Lorelai, unpacks the most memorable Gilmore Girls moments, and spills some fun behind the scenes tea. She also discusses how important it is to advocate for yourself in relationships, why you shouldn’t make yourself smaller for your partner, and how to find the joy in getting older. Enjoy!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Alex Cooper?

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• 0:43Alex Cooper?

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• 1:28Alex Cooper?

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• 2:09Alex Cooper?

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• 2:49Alex Cooper?

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• 3:14Alex Cooper?

  What is up Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy.

• 3:23Alex Cooper?

  Lauren Graham, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 3:26Alex Cooper?

  I am such a fan. This is so epic and so fun. And I think that my fans, the Daddy Gang, are going to freak out that we're in the same room.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  That's really, really nice of you to say. Thank you. I'm excited too.

• 3:37Alex Cooper?

  How are you doing today?

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Listen, I was running a little late. It's raining in California, which always freaks everybody out. And, but I'm otherwise good.

• 3:48Alex Cooper?

  No, everyone acts like we have to like all stay home from work when it rains. It's like no one leave your house or none of us also can drive, apparently.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  No, everyone gets very stressed out and it's hard to, but it also looks really pretty. And, you know, it makes the air feel healthier.

• 4:04Alex Cooper?

  True. Okay. You live in LA. What is the most LA thing about you and the least LA thing about you?

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Well, I live in LA and New York. I still have a place in New York that I've had for a long time. So I'm endlessly like asking that question. I think one extremely LA thing is to be really freaked out by like one inch of rain. And it is a thing to like really have long conversations about what freeway you took and why.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  And, uh, and it's just very LA to be like, oh my gosh, it's 70 degrees. I'm freezing. Like that has become like now I go to the East Coast and I can't, I don't know how I ever lived there.

• 4:43Alex Cooper?

  I feel the same way. My parents recently have been like, Alex, shut the fuck up. You literally grew up in Pennsylvania. You went to school in Boston. You lived in New York.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:51Alex Cooper?

  Why are you cold? It's like 60 something degrees. I'm like, I need a, I need like a parka.

• 4:56Speaker 01

  I think it changes your body to live here. I don't think it's our fault. I think that you just do become more of a wimp.

• 5:02Alex Cooper?

  I agree, but like we're so fortunate to have this weather. Like I want to stay in it forever.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:06Alex Cooper?

  And then the least LA thing about you?

• 5:09Speaker 01

  Um, I don't do yoga.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  I try, I've tried, I'll try again. I just can't. People are like, oh my God, the yoga. I don't know why I'm making impressions of my friends, making them sound like ding dongs. But like, yeah, I can't do, I don't, I don't know. It's so slow and.

• 5:25Alex Cooper?

  It's too slow. I also can't do it. I don't also do hikes as often as I probably should whenever it's like hiking, but yoga, I'm the same way. I'm like, and hot yoga?

• 5:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:35Alex Cooper?

  Truly fuck off.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 5:37Alex Cooper?

  Um, okay. When you aren't working, what is your favorite way to spend an off day?

• 5:43Speaker 01

  Well, I, um,

• 5:46Speaker 01

  Really have enjoyed, because I worked for a big chunk of the year and I'm, I'm in kind of a newish house that I haven't like gotten, I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time there. I really love doing very little. And my favorite thing about my house is I put, uh, cause the, I put the coffee machine where the bedrooms are on the bedroom level.

• 6:09Alex Cooper?

  Ooh.

• 6:09Speaker 01

  So I get up, I get out of bed, I go boop to the coffee maker. I get back in bed and I do like every New York Times puzzle. I'll read, I'll like, I just, the luxury of not having a 5am call time is just really a wonderful.

• 6:26Alex Cooper?

  You saying that just made me realize like, we're all doing it wrong. It's like, why is my coffee machine not?

• 6:34Speaker 01

  On another floor.

• 6:35Alex Cooper?

  We, obviously you played historically, like a character that was obsessed with coffee.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:41Alex Cooper?

  What is your coffee order?

• 6:42Speaker 01

  It's, well, it's gotten, it's, it's pretty, it can be anything. First of all, I'll, I'll drink coffee from the gas station. I don't care. And, and also I'll have like really coffee with like a lot of, you know, footnotes on it, like, can you? And also, but the thing that I do around holiday time, so the coffee is just coffee. I like this vanilla creamer. And then I've started being this person, which is I have whipped cream in a can and I put whipped cream on top of my coffee and cinnamon. It's the best thing you've ever had. And, and I, the whipped cream was just like for holidays. I was like, certainly no one can just have whipped cream on their coffee. That's just decadent. And then I just kept it from Christmas. It's so good.

• 7:25Alex Cooper?

  No, every time my husband sees me, he's like, you're making a milkshake. That's not a coffee. And I'm like, shut up, watch yourself. I'm having a nice morning.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:33Alex Cooper?

  And he just drinks it black. And I'm like, you're insane. Okay, wait. So then was that like a huge part that you just like randomly brought to Lorelai? Like, did you, or did, was that already written as the character?

• 7:44Speaker 01

  It was all written. It was all there. The coffee's, I mean, it's in the first episode, right? She goes and he's, you know, demands more coffee and he's like, you've had enough. No, that was just there and. Um, you know, like it was one of the many kind of serendipitous aspects of that part and that time and that character is like, we just shared a lot of traits.

• 8:06Alex Cooper?

  Okay, I'm gonna move my coffee machine upstairs. I don't know how I'm doing it, but I'm doing it.

• 8:26Alex Cooper?

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• 9:11Alex Cooper?

  SoFi, get your money right. This is a paid advertisement by SoFi Technologies and is not intended to be financial advice. This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. I always think it is so important to find time to take care of myself because I think self-care for me a lot of times is getting some alone time, even if it's just go on a 10-minute walk outside. Self-care can obviously look different at different stages of life, and the ways that we practice it often evolve over time. But one possible way to take care of yourself is through therapy. Therapy with BetterHelp, one of the leading online therapy platforms, can be a space to prioritize your mental health, reflect on where you are, and check in with yourself. With over 30,000 therapists worldwide, BetterHelp has served millions of people globally.

• 9:56Alex Cooper?

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• 10:37Alex Cooper?

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• 11:17Alex Cooper?

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• 12:00Alex Cooper?

  I personally have this fragrance and I will say, my favorite thing, although yes, I love my husband thinking I smell good, there is nothing better when women or your girlfriends compliment you. And every single time I have worn this fragrance, my Girlfriends are like, no, what are you wearing? Give it to me right now. That smells so freaking good. And Matt is obsessed with it. I'm always looking for something that has a fresh citrus floral scent, but it needs to still be that perfect balance of not overpowering, but still bold. And this has exactly that. So Daddy Gang, if you want to try it out, shop now at Sephora. Before your acting career took off, you worked a lot of different jobs.

• 12:44Alex Cooper?

  Can you share some of your favorite ones?

• 12:48Speaker 01

  I mean, none of them. They were all, they were all on the, you know, it's hard to do something in service of the thing you want to do, but you're not there yet. But I didn't, I didn't hate being a waitress. I, I liked, I like anything where you're moving and the time goes by really quickly. I liked being an apprentice at Summerstock, even though like during the day we had to like clean the bathrooms and paint the fence and stuff, work the box office. But that was just like, we were all kind of in it together. It was like a fun community. I liked being a tutor. I was a tutor for the SATs and stuff.

• 13:28Alex Cooper?

  Oh, my God.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:30Alex Cooper?

  Wait, that's a flex. Wait, no, Lauren, that's like, whoa.

• 13:35Speaker 01

  It was a little bit, sure. I mean, really, the reason I got the job is because I had a car in New York City. And they were like, oh, we'll send her to Far Rockaway or whatever. But I like working with kids and, and we weren't even that far apart in age. I was like right out of grad school and I'm working with like high school kids. So, so they were all kind of okay. I worked retail, I worked at Barney's.

• 13:56Alex Cooper?

  Oh, you did it all.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:57Alex Cooper?

  Um, okay, let's talk about Gilmore Girls.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 14:00Alex Cooper?

  I'm the biggest fan. Like, I feel like I go back and forth. It depends usually time of year. I'm like, it just is end of September. It's about to be October. Boom, hit it again. And I just saw that according to Netflix, people spent 500 million hours watching the show in 2023. I'm like, oh, I'm 100 million of those hours. Um, how does it feel to know that this show is still just so loved?

• 14:29Speaker 01

  It feels really good. And, and also it's hard to, it's hard to comprehend. It's like, I feel really lucky. I feel like, um,

• 14:42Speaker 01

  Honored and um, it's just kind of crazy. I don't, cause where does it go from here? Like, how many generations, you know?

• 14:53Alex Cooper?

  I feel like though it will have, like, it has this lasting power because the themes are so relatable.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:01Alex Cooper?

  And the world that was built is so genuine and safe feeling.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:10Alex Cooper?

  Which I think like, depending on what's going on in the world, like for me, like when I need a show that's gonna make me feel good, I'm turning it on.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:18Alex Cooper?

  And I think especially in the next couple of years, people will be like replay, replay, go back to episode one, like I, to me, that may be like, everyone has a different experience with it, but like, why do you think it resonates with so many people?

• 15:29Speaker 01

  Everything you just said, I think it's a safe place to visit and um, you know, it's aspirational without being saccharine. I mean, this mother daughter relationship's really fun and positive, but it has its bumps on the road. But I do think it's the writing as well, which is kind of meets you, sorry, meets you wherever you are. If you're a young person, you might miss some of the references and get some of the wit of it kind of as you get older. But I think there's a, it's almost to me, and this is what it was like performing it, it has a musicality to it.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  It's, it's almost theater in a way, I feel like, how densely packed the dialogue is. But how kind of it takes you along, like a song does, you know? And, and so I think it's, it's something in your brain that like playing a song again, like you can kind of listen to it again.

• 16:28Alex Cooper?

  That's such an interesting way. Did it feel like that?

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:32Alex Cooper?

  It's like its own world, essentially, of what you guys have created. Can you explain the moment to me that you realized, holy shit, this show is a hit?

• 16:42Speaker 01

  It, there was no moment because it was a very slow burn and continues to be like, like, you know, I remember. Driving, I guess my window was down or something. I was at a stoplight and like a more trucky driver guy was like, go more girls. And I was like, unlikely, sir. You're an unlikely, but I love it. And so it there, it was a really slow burn.

• 17:05Alex Cooper?

  That is the best where you're like, not the demographic I thought we were hitting.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  You can't believe how many men are like, I know it's a, you know, it's not for me or it's not designed for me. And I'm like, it is for you. You should start a support group. Like, you know, there's, yeah.

• 17:19Alex Cooper?

  Um, okay. One, when you got the script initially, what was your first impression? Like now in hindsight of Lorelai? Like in that moment, do you remember?

• 17:30Speaker 01

  I was really struck by the sense of humor in, in the, in the writing and that it was, because you have to remember this was a, we now have many more dramaties than we did then. And I don't even know. And, and even when the show started picking up steam and getting submitted for things, there was always a discussion every time of, do we submit it in comedy or do we submit it in drama? It doesn't really, it is its own kind of thing. And, but it's that tone that I love the most. And it did not occur to me, although it occurred to many other people in my work life, that she was a mom. Like,

• 18:11Speaker 01

  that wasn't the thing that struck me that, because a lot of people then I was 30, I turned 32 on the pilot, I think, or right before. Um, and people were like, don't play a mom. That's the end of your career. Like you should, uh, you know, play whatever girlfriends, you know, until you can't do that anymore or whatever, you know, that was more like, play the, the, play the girlfriend. And, and I was like, oh, I don't think of this. Mom is not, mom can be so many things, you know? And, and I just really, I recognized the language, like, like it was somebody speaking to me. I was like, I know that person.

• 18:50Alex Cooper?

  Well, I love how you brought it to life though, because even you saying that, you're right. I guess someone could read on a page and be like, Lorelai is a mom. But I'm like, the way that she had this youthfulness about her, not even saying, yes, like you're young as a woman at this point and still, but it's like, the energy you were bringing and her independence and her own storylines were so.

• 19:15Alex Cooper?

  She was an individual and she was a mother at the same time.

• 19:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:18Alex Cooper?

  And I think you brought that to life and it was very inspiring as a woman to watch that character because her life didn't just revolve around Rory, even though it revolved around Rory.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:28Alex Cooper?

  And it felt very refreshing to see a single mother who had her own life and her career and her struggles. Like it, I loved it. Like I loved watching two women of different ages work together to this like common goal of trying to find happiness with each other and individually.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  I loved it too. And I think the, the aspect, because you could have just stopped at the premise being, oh, she had her as a teenager, but it, it was also therefore allowed for them to have a more truly pure relationship, except for when, you know, somebody needed to, to put their foot down. And we did it for each other in a way. And you buy it, I think, because that's the whole thing of the show. There are friends who are also mother and daughter, they're mother and daughter who are also friends and.

• 20:16Alex Cooper?

  Beautiful.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:18Alex Cooper?

  In what ways did you relate to Lorelai? And like, how does that work in a script where you're slowly learning more about the character and you're learning about yourself? Like, what was the through line for you?

• 20:29Speaker 01

  I've been trying to think now. There was one in particular in the maybe first or second season where I was like, are they, are they just like stealing from my life? Like, and it was probably in, I mean, of course there are so, besides I was not a mom, but many parallels of like dating, um, career, you know, setbacks, dealing with parents. I mean, it's just all relatable. Um, it, it is the wonderful evolution in television where the more the writer gets to know you. I mean, you're always playing, hopefully the best thing you can get in, especially a TV show that's going to go on, is you want to be the voice of the creator of the show. You want to be that character who, um, you

• 21:13Speaker 01

  know, is them speaking through you, kind of. That's where you get the most juicy kind of material. Um, but also as they get to know you, they start writing for you even more and that's really fun.

• 21:25Alex Cooper?

  Fun and scary where you're like, wait, no, you just heard me gossiping over here. How is that in the script this week? Get away from me. I've like sat with actors sometimes who are like, I had to like, stop talking about my personal life because it's gonna be in the script and I'm like, no.

• 21:38Speaker 01

  We always hear that about like Sex and the City and Friends and stuff. Yeah, I felt that less on Parenthood where, which I loved that character. I loved that show too, but I would get frustrated on her behalf. Sometimes I'd be like, what? Can't she not have a win? Like, what? I mean, she did have wins and, and, and had, you know, such a beautiful relationship to her, that family too.

• 22:02Alex Cooper?

  Sarah Braverman. Come on, Sarah. Sarah needed more wins than Lorelai.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  Yes, right.

• 22:08Alex Cooper?

  Different, different. Okay, what was it like the first time that you met Alexis, AKA Rory Gilmore?

• 22:15Speaker 01

  Well, it was, it was literally on our way to the table read because they had waited for me because I was on another show. So by the time they cast me, they were ready to go, ready to shoot. And we went to Canada and I met Alexis in the lobby of the, of the, of the hotel. And we've just always really got along.

• 22:38Alex Cooper?

  Oh, my.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  I was really lucky.

• 22:39Alex Cooper?

  That is kind of incredible and also hilarious of like this relationship that we all feel like we grew up with. Whether people wished they had that relationship with their mom or they find similarities or differences. And it was like such a heartstring puller. Then it's like, you're like, oh, we quickly met and then we got off to the races.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  It worked.

• 23:01Alex Cooper?

  What do you remember of like those first few scenes shooting with Alexis? Cause like, did you feel the immediate chemistry? Were you guys trying to figure out your vibe together?

• 23:10Speaker 01

  No, I mean, I, I think we did just feel the immediate chemistry, you know? We are very different energies. She is a shyer, quieter person, which is perfect. Cause I think if you had two loud me's, you'd not have a good balance. And I just really liked her and I, she just had like a lot of natural ability.

• 23:30Alex Cooper?

  Okay, I'm going to ask you some rapid fire Gilmore girl questions. Stars Hollow is so iconic, obviously. What was your favorite place there?

• 23:39Speaker 01

  Um, not the town hall because it was so hot in there always. And it was like 50 people. You know, Luke's was always fun. The scenes in there were always fun. It always just had a lot of like energy. I used to get phone calls from like my cousins who'd be like, how many times are you going around the gazebo? Like you've been like, we would just walk around the gazebo a million times. So you know, you just get such a sense memory of all these places. My house was always fun and the kitchen was always good. Good scenes in the kitchen. It tended to be, you know, in the house where like, we'd have some good watching TV, sitting on the couch with giant cheese puffs in front of us. So they were all, they were all really cozy.

• 24:24Alex Cooper?

  The damn town hall. I'm down. Okay. Which castmate is most like their character in real life?

• 24:31Speaker 01

  Um, Kelly. Well, no.

• 24:35Speaker 01

  Gosh, everybody is and isn't, you know, um, like Kelly has that part of her. But she's warm. She's, she's, you know, regal, but way warmer than, than Emily, who, who does, who had warmth in there.

• 24:51Alex Cooper?

  Yes. Okay. What Lorelai line is most often quoted back to you?

• 24:57Speaker 01

  I mean, oi with the poodles already, I guess.

• 25:01Alex Cooper?

  That's good. That's good. Okay. Lorelai has some amazing outfits. Did you ever use your own clothes from your own closet?

• 25:07Speaker 01

  I think I did. I think that that everybody loves an Irish girl t-shirt that was my introduction to Instagram. Yeah, guys, I haven't even been on it a year yet. Really was really waiting to just make sure it was gonna stick. Um, I think that was mine and occasionally.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  But you know, you're going to work at five in the morning and like, so I wasn't, I wasn't, uh, bringing in anything good. Also like my clothes are not, her clothes were more fun than my clothes are not fun.

• 25:36Alex Cooper?

  So fun. Okay. What storyline was a little hard for you to get behind?

• 25:40Speaker 01

  There's a year when Alexis and I are in a fight, Rory and Lorelai are in a fight for a long time and, and we would talk about it and Amy was like, you know, you can't do a show for this long and not have conflict. But it, I forgot even what the conflict was, but it went on for a while. And that's the one that I would hear from people that they didn't, they didn't like that.

• 26:00Alex Cooper?

  I agree. Yeah. Which of Rory's boyfriends do you think was the best fit for her in the long run?

• 26:05Speaker 01

  You know, you can't get me. I won't be gotten here or anywhere else. I'll never say they were all a good fit for her at the time because there were a learning experience. Oh my God, you're so.

• 26:20Alex Cooper?

  That's the right answer.

• 26:21Speaker 01

  We all learn from even the frogs.

• 26:23Alex Cooper?

  You know, you're the frogs. Um, okay. Which of Lorelai's partners did you like the best?

• 26:30Speaker 01

  I mean, Luke is the right answer for sure.

• 26:33Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, Luke. Yep. Um, okay. You previously said you did not date Scott Patterson, obviously, who plays Luke in the show, but you did date a couple of the other guys on the set of Gilmore Girls. I know you're not going to tell me. Can I ask, though, was it anyone that Lorelai ever dated?

• 26:51Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  And dating is a real big word for, for some of the experiences. But you know, you're there 14, 15 hours. Who else are you going to meet?

• 27:04Alex Cooper?

  No, are you kidding me? I love that for you. Um, okay. Quickly, want to go through some memorable scenes? Can you tell I'm a fan? Um, I'm like, hold on.

• 27:12Speaker 01

  I hope I remember them.

• 27:12Alex Cooper?

  I'm like, wait, just one more time. No, actually, it's good if you don't like, let's get through it. Okay, I'm going to give you a moment. Tell me what you remember, any behind the scenes, how you felt, whatever it was. Okay. When Lorelai and Rory get hit on by the same guy at Luke's diner, first scene of the pilot.

• 27:26Speaker 01

  Well, that really was the scene that was the hook of the show. Weirdly, or I had never seen that scene before in anything. And I thought like, that's really creative. That's a great way to introduce that these are, you know, people who are close in age. And, um, I, I, I did sort of feel like that's the, I can still, I can remember it really well. Um, you know, it was one of the first scenes, if not the first scene we shot at Luke's diner. I don't know. It felt like that that was a really fun. The kid playing the kid was really cute and Alexis was like, are you my new daddy? Like, speaking of call her daddy. Um, and I don't know, it was just really fun. It was like the hook of the show.

• 28:07Alex Cooper?

  It was amazing. Okay. When Lorelai and Luke finally have their first kiss.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  When was that?

• 28:12Alex Cooper?

  You guys are like on the porch. I think it was this season four finale. You guys are on the porch.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  Kissed that early?

• 28:19Alex Cooper?

  Season four, you like pull away. You're like, what are you doing? And he's like, would you just shut up for a second? And then he goes in.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  That's so hot.

• 28:26Alex Cooper?

  I know.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  I don't remember.

• 28:27Alex Cooper?

  Oh, it was so hot. I like re, was like re. Rewind, rewind, rewind. Cause like the build, I love how you say that soon. I'm like, I was waiting since day one. Day one. Okay. When Lorelai starts dating Rory's teacher.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  Well, I think we've learned both from Lorelai and Sarah Braverman, don't date your teacher's kid.

• 28:44Alex Cooper?

  I, when I was getting ready for this. No, I forgot about that. I was like, Sarah and Lorelai both dated.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  Doesn't work out.

• 28:51Alex Cooper?

  No, it does not. Okay. When Rory slept with Dean after he got married.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  She did?

• 28:56Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember. Oh, I mean, there are these things where, yeah, that was bad.

• 29:07Speaker 01

  That was very out of character for her.

• 29:08Alex Cooper?

  It was, but sometimes you had to switch it up. Okay. When weekly dinners with Richard and Emily were the price for Rory going to Chilton.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  I mean, it's tough because I don't want to wreck anything for anybody. I loved those scenes. They were a real bear to shoot. Cause somebody's eating here and somebody's eating there. Somebody's in here. You gotta move the camera all the way around. And so they would take a really long time and you'd sit in front of that, like fake fancy food and, you know, but we, we would just, that was also so key to the show to so, you know, so we, we loved them while they took a long time.

• 29:47Alex Cooper?

  I didn't even think about that as like, when you're in production, like you're like, I'm, which I guess could then kind of in a positive way, like add to your annoyance.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 29:56Alex Cooper?

  Shut up, mom. And you're like getting annoyed.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Well, and it, and it does, it's, it's an interesting exercise in continuity because as, you know, the hours tick by, what are, what's your emotional level? Where did your elbow go? Like, so there was a kind of, you're right, like, constraint in there or something that like, you had to keep doing this the same exact way and yet keep it fresh.

• 30:20Alex Cooper?

  Which is kind of indicative of how you were actually supposed to be feeling while you're shooting that scene. So, okay, there we go.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  I used it in my work.

• 30:27Alex Cooper?

  Um, okay. You talked about how you did not realize that the Steve, season seven finale was the end of Gilmore Girls. And I cannot imagine emotionally just being like, see you guys tomorrow. Or see you guys next season and then it ends like what was that last day like for you?

• 30:44Speaker 01

  It was really emotional. We had our wonderful director, Lee Charlotte Shemel, who was like, guys, you know, I'm going to do a shot at the end that mimics the shot that that is in the pilot that sort of pulls away from Luke's and we're like there in the diner. She's like, in case this is it. And the whole year had been really emotional. We were very lost without as good as writers we had that we were kind of lost without Amy and Dan.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  The show just didn't feel the same. We couldn't even, it was like, would it, should we try to stay? Should we try to keep going? Like it, you know, and it's not up to the actors. So there were many, many, many conversations and it just did feel like you, you want to be able to say goodbye to something and we didn't get to do that.

• 31:33Alex Cooper?

  Obviously the show came back for a revival, but like when you did walk away, how did you feel knowing like, wow, the Gilmore Girls era of my life is over?

• 31:45Speaker 01

  Well, it didn't happen until a few weeks later. There were still conversations going on. Who knows how that decision ultimately got made, but I was at a restaurant and the waiter came over and was like, your agent's on the phone, which was very dramatic and glamorous. I was like, oh, excuse me, my agent's on the phone. And I went and picked up the phone at the bar because I guess, I don't know what was going on with cell phones then and or why he knew where I was or like why, I don't know any of it, but and he said, it's over. And I didn't know how to feel and I didn't know, you know, later, different, a couple of different cast members said, you know, you didn't call me.

• 32:25Speaker 01

  And I was like, oh God, I didn't, I wouldn't even have thought it was my job or my place to call anybody and tell them.

• 32:34Alex Cooper?

  No, and that's what I think is like, nice though to hear because I think people would be like, what do you mean? You didn't know? And you're like, no, I'm literally sitting there and I didn't know. So you guys come back for the revival. What was it like playing Borley again?

• 32:46Speaker 01

  It just made me so happy. It's so, um, God, it would just made me so happy. I, I. I was like on a little cloud the entire time. I because it was such an opportunity that you don't get very often to do not a do over, but like get to return to something with people feeling enthusiastic and you know, it's gonna be completed. You know, it's not a pilot. Um, it was just an incredible opportunity and I don't know, everything about it was just, it was the most probably fun I've had at work.

• 33:24Alex Cooper?

  The show ended on a bit of a cliffhanger.

• 33:27Speaker 01

  Total.

• 33:28Alex Cooper?

  Uh, the bigot. I was like, wait, what? How are we? Wait, do you think that it could ever come back again?

• 33:34Speaker 01

  I think this is just my theory. I do not know. I'm, this is how much I'm superstitious or in love with the show is like, there are questions I could probably get an answer to that I have never asked. Like I never asked because Amy said from the beginning, she knew what the final four words of the show were. She knew from the beginning and she didn't get to do it in season seven, that it had to wait until like she knew that was the, the, those are the final words. I never asked her. I didn't even ask her when we were shooting that episode of the, of the show. I don't think I asked her until, cause it wasn't in the script.

• 34:13Alex Cooper?

  Cause it's what? Mom, I'm pregnant?

• 34:14Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. Mom, what? I'm pregnant. And she didn't put it in the script because she didn't want it to leak. So she, she just told us when we kind of got there. And so it did feel like a cliffhanger. I think it was. I think maybe the thought was we would go into another season then. But I have never asked and I don't know.

• 34:39Alex Cooper?

  Why don't you ask?

• 34:40Speaker 01

  Because I don't know, because I'm scared. I don't know. I, because, because I guess I feel like if that didn't happen, was that like, I don't know. Like, I don't want to know. I don't want to see behind the curtain of like, did they not feel like doing it? Did Netflix not feel like doing it? Did, did, were they waiting? What were they waiting on? There's just a little bit of movie magic that I would like to maintain.

• 35:02Alex Cooper?

  That's fair.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:04Alex Cooper?

  Do you have your theories of who you think the father is?

• 35:06Speaker 01

  I do.

• 35:07Alex Cooper?

  Are you gonna tell me?

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Well, there are two theories and, and either one, I'll just speak as a producer type now. Could, could send the story forward. It could be the Wookiee who she fools around with in the, in that storyline. It could be Logan. And either way, it's juicy.

• 35:31Alex Cooper?

  Either way, it's juicy. Yeah, that's fair.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  Cause it's some, it could be some one night stand, which then what does that do to her relationship? To the guy she's maybe, you know, was gonna go down that path, or it could be,

• 35:44Speaker 01

  could be him.

• 35:44Alex Cooper?

  This is good tea. Um, okay. You obviously also starred in another one of my favorite shows, Parenthood. I can't tell you how many times I have rewatched that show.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  Really?

• 35:55Alex Cooper?

  Oh my god.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  That's what I was gonna wonder is, is that a rewatch in the way, it's not in the same way, but I don't hear that as much. The people rewatch it.

• 36:03Alex Cooper?

  Different. I have to really want a show and I, that I want to like dive into and like feel something.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 36:13Alex Cooper?

  Like I can't do that when I'm like stressed with work and I'm like, I'm like Gilmore Girls. When I, I go through it like every few years.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:20Alex Cooper?

  My mom and I will be like, are you starting it again? I'm starting it again. You're starting it? Oh, well then I'm gonna start it again. You playing episode one tonight? Okay, I'm playing. And we like live on opposite sides of the country. So I'm like, go, go. And then we like gush over it. And it's the best. Um, how would you describe your relationship with that cast?

• 36:36Speaker 01

  Well, I mean,

• 36:41Speaker 01

  varied.

• 36:43Alex Cooper?

  Oh, right. Yeah.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  And, um, but predominantly, uh, like just it was, it was the most easy filming experience, which you bond to some degree, no matter what.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  But when something's easy and, and, and you just have a lot of time to just sit around and chit chat, like, that's just so fun. How lucky were we that we got to, you know, make this show where it was a very different way of working and it was a much looser kind of way of working and they each have their merit and they each like belong to the kind of show it is. And I just love, I just love everybody, truly. And, and you know, in particular, had the fortune of May and Miles being

• 37:42Speaker 01

  a child of mine adjacent, like incredible friendships that have, that have lasted. And, you know, my friendship with Dax, I don't see him as much, but like, there's just some really wonderful people. Every scene was so much fun to do.

• 38:03Speaker 01

  It was just really fun.

• 38:04Alex Cooper?

  I was recently with Dax and Kristen and I was like, Dax, can you just give me like 20 minutes? Just give me 20 minutes. And Kristen, I apologize, we need to talk about parenthood. He's like, ask me anything. Let's go. I'm going one by one. I'm like, tell me this, tell me, because it's as a fan, that world that was built of that family and the chaos and the beauty and the pain and the fun, like, you can't help but feel, one, parts of yourself and your own family in it. Or two, it really does kind of take you out of your own bullshit that you're dealing with. And you're like, oh, this family is fucking insane. I love it. Like, but you also want to be a part of it.

• 38:48Speaker 01

  And there was such pride, I'll say amongst the cast, everybody in their own family unit really had their own thing and their own kind of language, their own way they did things. And, and, you know, so it was easy when we would all get together to have these sort of. Organic conflicts and, you know, ribbing and kind of fun and like, it's a really good group.

• 39:11Alex Cooper?

  Okay. I know this is a little broad, but if you have anything that comes to mind, like looking back at your time on that show, is there any memory or story or moment you can share with us that really sticks with you to this day? When you like, think back at that time of your life?

• 39:26Speaker 01

  I mean, there's, there, there is just a strange thing, May Whitman and I have, which is like,

• 39:35Speaker 01

  it's like we are speaking some twin language and there were many, many scenes with her, almost to the degree that I was like, this must stop. We cannot continue. I'd have a tiny little maybe tear in my eye. She'd be like, no, no, don't do it. Don't do it. And like, you know, I think of like, when we're singing, playing guitar and stuff and like, you know, she improvised a line one day where she said, she said, "You're my hero."

• 40:03Speaker 01

  And I'm pretty sure she just like, came up with that. And like, it's just a weirdo kind of connection that, you know, we're having right now.

• 40:12Alex Cooper?

  Oh my God, let's both start crying. If you're listening to this, we both have tears in our eyes. Oh my, I was wondering like, how much in parenthood and in Gilmore Girls are you kind of improvising certain lines?

• 40:26Speaker 01

  Gilmore Girls, never.

• 40:27Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 40:27Speaker 01

  And parenthood sometimes. And, you know, but, and both just have their merit.

• 40:51Alex Cooper?

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• 41:36Alex Cooper?

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• 42:19Alex Cooper?

  You can see all the delicious options at stouffers.com. In your early career, the press would criticize you for being single and not dating. How did those comments back then affect you?

• 42:30Speaker 01

  Oh, God. I mean, always feels weird to be asked and many times I was lying because it's such a strange

• 42:44Speaker 01

  thing to talk about, which I still mainly don't talk about, like something that you don't know what's going to happen. I think some people are built for it. Some people don't find it personally vulnerable. And it was also, I have to say, it wasn't my focus at the time. So it felt strange, like I'm a working person and I'm in a career and like.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  I don't know. This was odd.

• 43:13Alex Cooper?

  Would you consider yourself a very private person? Or would you just consider the career that you're in

• 43:20Speaker 01

  too public?

• 43:20Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  I think a little bit of both. I also think I have led in some ways, you know, an unconventional, like certain, there, there is a age at which most, a lot of people do the same thing. There is an age at which a lot of people get married. There's an age at which a lot of people have kids. And then there are, there are people who just are not on that timing. And so I don't know whether to be the spokesperson for that or like apologetic about that or like, I don't know.

• 43:57Alex Cooper?

  No, I could see that being annoying because what I, what I appreciate about what I do for a living is I get to sit down with like mostly incredible women. I mostly interview women and something that I talked about recently with, I forget who I was just talking about this with, which was like timelines and how we all have something in our head growing up of like, this is my story. Like I, and I was always the person that was like, I'm never getting married. I'm never getting married. When I met my now husband, who I just recently got married to, I literally said to him, we will never get married. And he was like, okay, like chill. And I was like, it's, you can't change my mind. I just want to be really upfront about that.

• 44:39Speaker 01

  And then what changed your mind?

• 44:41Alex Cooper?

  I think

• 44:43Alex Cooper?

  because I recognized that when I knew he earnestly meant it, that he would be with me for the rest of his life without us signing a legal document, without me having a physical ring on my finger, all of that. And it was months and months of him never bringing it up. And he would even, he would even say like, my partner, like this, that. I saw the level of respect that he had for what I had initially wanted. And then I went into therapy and reevaluated, why was I so? Intent on not wanting to get married and I would consider myself a very like strong, independent woman who I've always been career driven. Like I'm gonna go for this until the end and I'm gonna still be working then until someone rips me out of the chair.

• 45:29Alex Cooper?

  And I was always worried that especially as a woman, it would threaten a man and I didn't think I could do both.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:35Alex Cooper?

  And when I started to have a partner that allowed me to do that, I was like, fuck.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  I think it's interesting because I did not have a timeline.

• 45:45Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  And until like the, the, I, I, I just didn't have a timeline. I, I think a little bit growing up the way I did with my mom, not, not that mothers give this necessarily to people, but now I'm like obsessed with timeline in a, in a way that I think is really positive because I'm now at an age where I want to be planning what else I would like in my life. I, I want to be thinking really actively about that. I think I was mainly in relationships where it didn't really occur to me to say, this is what I would like. This is not what I would not like.

• 46:25Speaker 01

  I thought that happened just organically and it doesn't always and, and like, like I love all the matchmaking shows, um, hard, hard left. Um, I, and I love them because there's like, it's, you know, we're all working within a system, right? Like we're all learning the way a podcast works, the way a TV show works, so the, what we want to do next, or how you create a show or all that kind of stuff. Everything has a system, including being a person on this planet, including being in a relationship, including being in a career and juggling that with like, what else you want to do. And I don't know why some fundamental like.

• 47:06Speaker 01

  Being, I don't know whether it was, I just didn't think that you had to say those things out loud. And I think like you're describing the process of the two of you kind of, what you did in that, in your relationship is you met over a shared value. And you didn't have it at first, maybe, or you had a different thought about it. And then you grew and changed, and I'm sure he did too. And that's relationship. And that's the one thing you cannot predict when you go in, is are we going to grow and change and have values that keep aligning? And, and, and the only way you have that is by talking about it, being open about it, being honest

• 47:47Speaker 01

  about it. And, you know, I think it's why, again, hard left, why so many housewife shows?

• 47:55Alex Cooper?

  I love this. I love it.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  Why you see these things, you know, we were watching in sort of real-ish time, or whatever degree we believe it's real. You can see things crumble when people did, people change, people change. And you don't know, and you don't know.

• 48:11Alex Cooper?

  No, that's such a good point of like, when people are so perplexed by like, well, how did it not work? And how, and it's like, oh, I think it makes complete sense every time something doesn't work. Because either one person's not growing with the other, or they're both growing in complete opposite directions, or they're the exact same, and life happens, and you can't stay the same if you're not like, you know what I mean? It's like, a pretty sad feeling when things end. But in my opinion, when I look back at previous relationships I had, I was never asking the questions. And then this was the first relationship I actually was like, oh, I think I'm going to be honest with him and see if he can handle it. Because the men I had dated prior to him, I knew I could never say that. Because it wouldn't have worked for the

• 48:56Alex Cooper?

  men that I was dating. And I think I'd be curious to know from you, like, I struggled a lot of being a woman with a career and really loving my career and being confident in it. And I know a lot of women listening experiences like men can be terrified and emasculated and feel like, how can I handle such like a competent, competent, competent woman? Like, how, how has that impacted you?

• 49:25Speaker 01

  I just, I, I tended in the earlier days to, I dated maybe guys who were great, but who weren't as in their careers. And I would feel apologetic about that more than, I don't know. So I would maybe tamp my thing down a little bit and not try to not compete, but like not, I didn't want them to feel bad kind of thing. It is, it's really tricky. But I will say, you know, like, I, I think I was supportive to one of my sisters when, you know, she was dating her now husband. I was like, ask for this, that and this. And, and it's like the TV show thing.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  If we all knew how to do it perfectly, every relationship would be perfect. Because there's also giving something time to grow. And there's also, you know, not going in guns blazing, like, this is what I want, when you haven't established like a foundation yet. But

• 50:25Alex Cooper?

  That's so relatable, what you just said of like, trying to not intimidate the person you're with. And I do feel, and I know this is like, not every statement is just like 100%, but I bet it's rare that a man is like, trying to dim his success to make the woman feel comfortable that she's maybe not as high up in her career of who they're together. But you sitting here, I've done it too, where like, I'm having such success and the guy that I'm dating, I'm like, oh my God, he is gonna actually like, He's not gonna be able to, you just feel it. You know their threshold and you have to

• 51:06Alex Cooper?

  dim yourself down and you don't come home and say, holy shit, I had the best fucking day at work. Cause they're like standing there like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why are you shining so bright? And I'm over here feeling like a piece of shit.

• 51:18Speaker 01

  Which is another thing that I wouldn't have thought, like, I don't feel that way in, in like, I'm happy for my friend's success and happy for my partner's success and, and, but I get it. I get it. If I get it, especially in your twenties and thirties and maybe even forties, when like, you're still trying to get to the thing you wanted to get and it's hard when, you know, you see somebody else shoot ahead and, and you, it's not that you don't want it for them. You want it for yourself. And now I just, I really wanna have a good day at work. I'm like not, I don't have the, whatever that drive was that I really, really, that put me in all those jobs and I didn't care. I was gonna kill, kill myself at work until I could

• 51:59Speaker 01

  get to an audition, until I could get something like, I think it's age appropriate not to have that as much anymore. I, I got beyond my wildest dreams. Isn't that incredible? That I can say that. I, I, I just thought I was gonna be like in a regional theater company in Washington DC, which still would be a dream. And I got this part that we're here talking about. Like, that is so moving to me that I just kind of wanna just enjoy my days now, you know, of, of work. And now I'm, I'm more interested in the creative vision about, of, of something

• 52:38Speaker 01

  or like, you know, I'm, wanna direct my friend's book, then turn it into a movie. Like, it's just, I wanna be in partnership that is, in every way, that is, um, fun.

• 52:52Alex Cooper?

  I think that's an incredible place to get to because I do think like, that in a lot of people, we all feel it, where you're like, everyone's got that thing individually that you're like, if I get this, I know I worked so hard and I deserve it and I'm gonna get it. And then once you get it, then you're like, okay, now what's next? And it's a beautiful thing to keep going. And, but it's also, it's a lot because then, once you get what you want.

• 53:18Speaker 01

  You gotta move the needle.

• 53:19Alex Cooper?

  And do you ever feel like, you're like, when you were in that kind of like, race with yourself, did you ever feel like, shit, I need to? Not slowed down, but did you ever feel like people were like, you did it? Like you accomplished it?

• 53:34Speaker 01

  Like, no, I don't think anyone gives it, gives you that. I think you have to give it to yourself. Like, I remember I was dating some actor and I was in a really busy time. It was maybe like second, third year of Gomor Girls where not only were the days really busy, but then weekends and doing talk shows or whatever else was going on at the time. And I was like, I just don't, I'm tired. I don't want to do it. And, and, and his advice was interesting. And we were sort of peers. He was like, don't, you kind of have to ride, ride this while it's happening. You can't step off this train because it's hard to get back on. Like, go do the photo shoot. You don't feel like to do it, you know, like you, now, is that great advice?

• 54:17Speaker 01

  I don't know, but it, it, it was when something's going, you, that is an opportunity. It will come around again, probably, but it, there, there are times when you're working harder than you want to. And then you, but it's like the relationship thing. You have to keep reevaluating. Does this feel good? I have, my friend Jenny Hahn has this thing that I always forget what the third one is. It's basically like, am I doing this just for fun? Am I doing this as maybe an act of service or for, you know, as a, some, somebody I want to help out? Is it worth it? And that can mean financially, that can mean it's going to help your career.

• 54:58Speaker 01

  That can mean, you know, but you don't have to just say yes endlessly, you know?

• 55:04Alex Cooper?

  When you're talking about like reevaluating things, like I agree. And I think that's great advice for people listening of like, you always have to be like rechecking in with yourself. And if you are dating or you're in a relationship, um, what is something that you've realized that you're not willing to compromise on?

• 55:24Speaker 01

  I mean, so many things. Um, it's, it, it is, first of all, I think in the beginning, something should be easy. It should not be, I don't know, are they going to call? Like any of that kind of gamesmanship. I think, I think I have a great sense of how I connect to somebody.

• 55:49Speaker 01

  Physically, intellectually, humor, I really love a certain level of like, back and forth banter, you know, I love, like, I know that. And I think the thing I know now better is also like, how are we going to live this life together? And it's interesting, all my friends my age, some are still married for a long time, some have been in the dating world.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  The people who are the happiest are doing what they want to do and being really clear upfront. Like, I, you know, I have a friend who's like, I don't really think I'm gonna get married again. I, you know, and I just wanna be having fun and out there. And so I just think, and that is a gift of age, if you let it be, which is, you can just say what you would like. And there's no amount of,

• 56:50Speaker 01

  you can't love somebody into

• 56:54Speaker 01

  being who you want them to be, or, you know, wanting the same things. And I think, not to put women in a stereotype, but I, I think it's easy to be like, if I just, dot, dot, dot, then he'll, dot, dot, dot. And I, I

• 57:13Speaker 01

  don't think that works.

• 57:14Alex Cooper?

  It definitely doesn't.

• 57:32Alex Cooper?

  Daddy gang, did you know the average person has to send out 51 resumes just to try to land a job? It is insane, and it's a lot of work. But honestly, I believe that, right? I remember when I got my first job out of college, I literally spent months applying and applying and applying and applying. And the worst part is, you can spend all this time finding the right role. Fixing your resume, writing the application, and then you might not even hear back, right? And it is so frustrating because you're like, okay, I know I would be so great for this job, but how do I actually get them to even notice me?

• 58:11Alex Cooper?

  That is where ZipRecruiter comes in, my friends. Okay, ZipRecruiter matches you up with the right job in minutes and their new feature even lets your application be seen first by employers. You can try it out by going to ziprecruiter.com/daddy. It is such a game changer, guys. When you apply for a job, you can be seen first. Just tell the employer why you're interested in the role and your application jumps to the top of their list. No matter where you are in your career journey, make your application be seen first only on ZipRecruiter. Try it out now by going to this exclusive web address, ziprecruiter.com/daddy. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com/daddy.

• 58:55Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Stouffer's. Let me tell you something. When I am hungry and I am trying to figure out what to eat, sometimes you can just actually become so, you're angry. You're like, I am busy, I'm hungry, I'm getting hangry, I'm getting angry. What can I eat? I need something hot and delicious and low maintenance. Well, introducing Stouffer's. Dinners are not only delicious, they're done in a flash. Serve up their classic lasagna, chicken pesto, or carbonara for two. Whatever you're craving, Stouffer's is your hot, delicious, easy meal fantasy. When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's. You can see all the delicious options at stouffers.com. We need your advice. People listening, we can use your wisdom. I'm going to give you

• 59:40Alex Cooper?

  a scenario and you're going to tell me what advice you would give the person. Okay. What is your advice for someone who feels unfulfilled by their job and wants to make a change, but is too nervous to start over?

• 59:52Speaker 01

  Well, is there something besides starting over that can give you fulfillment? That is a project you have that is not dependent on outside validation? I really, as a writer, have gotten an incredible amount of satisfaction in just the practice of,

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  Putting these books together, you get better the more you do something, no matter what, no matter what. Like, you don't have to be, I just took up tennis this year. I'm terrible, but I practice and I get better. And that is such a basic thing that really, because of tennis, really became new to me. And the writing is that, too. I just get better with doing more. And so, job, you're nine to five, or nobody works nine to five anymore, but your job is one piece of you. Can it, can it, can you give yourself something else so that, you know, I mean, it's hobbies, it's, you know, travel, it's reading, it's whatever else.

• 1:01:04Alex Cooper?

  It's great advice. What would you tell someone who is struggling to connect with their friends because they're all in different life phases?

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  I really get that. It's, it, they, they will end. I talked, I've talked about it before, when I finished Gilmore Girls, and I was like, anybody, who's, who's up for dinner? No one? Everybody had children while I was gone? Like, everybody was in a different life phase. That's what I mean. I have often been out of that step. And I think one thing is, you have to meet your friend where they are, and like, go over to the house and play with the toddler, and like, understand that you, you don't, you guys don't have the same hours, but the, the kids eventually go to college.

• 1:01:46Alex Cooper?

  I'm not gonna say the kids eventually go to sleep, you're like, college, those fuckers are gone now.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  Well, I have like, all my, you know, when I get to go home, my high school girlfriends are like, their kids are gone now. And like, it's, it's almost like, it's one of the many, many things I loved about the Bridget Jones movie and books. But this most recent one is like, she's back in the dating scene because, you know, she, she, for happy and sad reasons, can be. It's, it's always the same. We're all, you know, it, it's like, you keep meeting the same challenges and, and in life.

• 1:02:18Alex Cooper?

  True. Okay, what would you say to someone who feels like they put all of their focus on their career and is now worried that they're falling behind in their dating life?

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  I mean, there's really just no, the only falling behind is in your mind. You know, I used to, I skipped a grade when I was little, and, and for a long time, I was like, I have an extra year. There's no such thing. Like, I was like, I have an extra year with, before I'm the same age as people who are a year ahead of me. Like, it, that's, there, there is only what you tell yourself. And, and, you know, if you've seen any Nancy Meyers movies, you know, that there's, people come around at, at different ages, but it is hard when you're not with your peer group.

• 1:02:56Alex Cooper?

  Yeah. Can we talk about the essay that you wrote for Time Magazine about aging?

• 1:03:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Alex Cooper?

  And you talk about how you found the humor.

• 1:03:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:04Alex Cooper?

  In aging as a woman, which I thought was such a unique, beautiful take that I loved reading. Um, what inspired you to write a piece like that?

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  I guess, being asked about aging. Like, I'm, I, I was talking about this today with my, uh, with some people. You and I are having this experience. We are having this conversation. We are different ages. Someday, when you are my age, and you are talking to someone who is now your age, you will not feel the difference as much. I think the younger person feels the difference more than the older person. I am the same person. I, I think it's psychotic, the number of years I have lived on this planet. I'm like, surely that's a miscount.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  Surely that's wrong. It doesn't, it genuinely does not feel that way. As opposed to when I was 30, I was like, I feel 30. Like, I, I understood 40. This now is like, I just don't accept it. And, and that, that's funny. And the stuff that, because mainly, I'm just living the same life. There are some things where you go, oh, I fell and, you know, broke a thing and like, the recovery took a little longer or whatever. So. But I am amazed at the people I know who who are giving into a sense of sadness

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  about getting older or not feeling the same way they did. I meet that by, not in a brutal way, but like, I fight that. I fight the urge to be like, ugh, I just even don't even like when, you know, friends are like, ugh, well, I'm so old, I can't remember that, you know, whatever. Like, it's, I think it's just, also, my mom passed at age 61. Like, I'm not that far away from that. Like, I don't want to be living in, um, in worry.

• 1:05:13Alex Cooper?

  No, I completely agree with what you're saying. And I had a conversation recently with Ellen Pompeo. And she and I were talking a little bit about how women, obviously, like, were the ones that it's like, oh, she's, she's getting older and it's, and then you hit 30 and it's like, oh.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:05:34Alex Cooper?

  Oh, and you're like, what? Like, I've never felt better. And from what I'm taking from every woman I keep talking to is, holy shit, 40s are the best.

• 1:05:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:44Alex Cooper?

  Oh, my God. And if you had told me that in 20, I would have been like, wait, 40s old and what? But it's like, every person I'm talking to, it feels like women are just getting better with age. And it's what society is freaking women out about of like, how you look. Because of course, that's the only thing they think that we care about is our fucking looks. And it's like, what do you think is the best part of getting older?

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  I wrote this in another essay, which is, um, I know what I want and I'm grateful for what I have.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  That is the best thing about it to me. And, and I, and the fun, you can make it fun if you plan what's next. Like, as much as you can, you think about so that it doesn't, because I think the, you know,

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  I I went to the theater on Sunday here in Los Angeles, which is unusual. And ninety percent of the audience was older, like way much, much older, which you don't see in LA. And I just found it fascinating, like, like, what is that going to be like? I like to think about that. I like to plan for that. I like to imagine what kind of, oh, that's a stylish lady in her perhaps seventies. Like, what do, how do I want to approach that so that I'm not scared by it? I'm not freaked out by it and I'm not depressed because it truly is all the things people say of like, you should be so lucky to be in all those places. And yeah, and the how you look thing is like, I don't know.

• 1:07:25Alex Cooper?

  It's so tired.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:27Alex Cooper?

  Like, it's, how do you think men and women handle aging differently?

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  I've actually heard from, I think it's a vulnerable thing for guys too. And there is like, popular opinion would say they have it easier. But I think it's, it's if you identified as a beauty, either a man or woman, as a younger person. I think it's, the loss might be greater. Like, my mom was a stunningly beautiful person who literally turned heads on the street. I did not grow up with that. I'm not saying whatever, I just didn't have that identity. That was not my thing. So it's not still, still not my thing. Like, it's not, I don't feel the loss of like,

• 1:08:17Speaker 01

  that being treated that way. And even in relationship, I never like, met someone across a crowded room. I was friends with them or I worked with them or I, it was organic. Like, it was just, I, you know, would fall for the person and they would fall for me. And so. I think that makes it a little bit easier.

• 1:08:35Alex Cooper?

  Yeah. Why I wanted to bring this whole conversation, though, up about aging and the different generations is obviously because of your new show. I think there's this like huge conversation, obviously, about like Gen Z and it's like an interesting, it's interesting, like even just like us talking about you even saying, like, we're a different age. Like, you take on the Z suite, like, what drew you to this role? Because this is different.

• 1:09:00Speaker 01

  I'm so, it was different. That's the, that was one of the main things. I like, I liked that this, first of all, it's comedy. I really, this is how I would like to spend my days now. I feel that I cannot touch the beauty that is Gomor Girls. I really love that dramedy parenthood space. I did start in Half Hour and it was so fun to just do something that was a little more big and, and look at female bosses, because it's a trope of a kind and like, that was there. But I was also like,

• 1:09:41Speaker 01

  this is so relatable to anybody when the thing you have worked for is taken away, whether it was your fault or somebody else is coming up behind you or like, you know, or somebody's better at it. That is just evolution. That's just being a human on this planet. Like,

• 1:10:04Speaker 01

  nothing lasts forever. And, and so, and then I love the showrunner, you know, now, again, like I said, it's putting all the pieces together. I'm not just responding to the part. I'm responding to, what's this experience going to be? Do I get to have a say in creative conversation and like, and also that it was, you know, we're the first scripted programming for, to be, uh, original scripted programming. And I was like, that's fun. And I just want to say, probably the kids know, but people still say to me, oh, I can't have another subscription. It's free. You just download it. You, um, you know, put your email in if you want to save stuff, but it's so easy, the interface and it's, and it's, it's very, um, it doesn't cost you anything.

• 1:10:48Alex Cooper?

  Um, I love that you're talking also about the character of like, being good at something, but then questioning if you're good at it, because if you're getting replaced or what's happening, like, that's like, Again, a conversation that one, I love the point of a woman being at the top because we still don't see that that often still, how crazy. And two, though, like being pushed out in a moment where you're probably also feeling like you're at your best, like right when I feel like you're starting to hit your stride is when they want to then replace the women with a younger woman. Which is such a crazy fucking concept because you're like, we know I, I just had to get, wait, how am I already not in the conversation anymore?

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  It endlessly, and it's not just women, it's we, we are not to be real esoteric. We, we will be replaced. You and I will not be here forever.

• 1:11:40Alex Cooper?

  Bye.

• 1:11:42Speaker 01

  And that is, that's how it goes. And so that's true in work, in life. I remember I did a pilot that didn't get picked up and the, one of the younger cast was like, she was like, so is this going to get picked up? And I was like, oh, I have no idea, you know? And she's like, what do you mean? They don't tell you? And I'm like, no, they don't know. Nobody knows and nobody tells me. And she's like, so you could see her like things. She was like, so this just keeps happening over and over where like you do something and then you see if it goes and then, you know, you don't know how that's going to turn out. And I was like, yeah. Like you don't, you don't get to a place where it's just a slam dunk in, in life, in, you know, relationship and work.

• 1:12:23Alex Cooper?

  What do you hope people take away from the show?

• 1:12:26Speaker 01

  Honestly, I just hope they have a good time. I mean, I've seen, it, it is truly makes fun of everybody. No one is woke or doing a great job. That's to me a fun comedy if everyone's silly. And I think there's something there that we haven't, you know, that, that does sort of, that is in the zeitgeist of like, do kids know, not kids, but I call them the kids on the show. I'm sure they're so irritated. Um, I'm like, where are the kids? Are the kids coming to lunch? Um, they're all like, you know, 29 years old. Um, but so.

• 1:13:01Speaker 01

  You know, there, there's something there because it, we're living in various kinds of times, but on the one hand, a really expressive time where, you know, people can bring themselves to work, at least they do here. And like I, this character does not understand what language they're speaking. And I just think that's relatable.

• 1:13:23Alex Cooper?

  No, Lauren, thank you so much for coming on. This was a pleasure sitting down with you. You're so incredible. You, your life is so inspiring and everything you've done. And I feel like whenever I get to sit down with someone that I have admired and been inspired by, and I get to watch and then I get to like, get to know them as like a real human being. It is why I do my job. Like this is so fun for me. And I just thank you for taking the time because I know you're a busy woman.

• 1:13:50Speaker 01

  Thank you. And I loved this conversation and I, I just loved being asked these questions and, and being included in, in this, whatever this journey is going to be for you. So congratulations and thank you for inviting me.

• 1:14:18Alex Cooper?

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• 1:14:59Alex Cooper?

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