Carrot Top and The Girthy Red Head

Carrot Top (Scott Thompson) joins TigerBelly for the 1st time. We chat Tonight Show, Mission Impossible, cafeteria crowds, potato bottom, Fudge Middle, Betty White, U2 of comedy and Black Dudes at a Renaissance Faires. Download the DraftKings Casino app, sign up with code TIGERBELLY, and spin your favorite slots! The Crown is Yours That’s www.helixsleep.com/belly https://www.helixsleep.com/belly for 27% Off Sitewide. Exclusive for listeners of TigerBelly. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you! www.helixsleep.com/belly https://www.helixsleep.com/belly See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:59Speaker 01

  Be the Helix here for your sleep. Baby, why you sleep, babe? Hey, Helix. For your sleep. Helix.

• 1:09Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, Helix, man, I, my sleep has improved dramatically since I've been sleeping on a Helix mattress. Um, improvements, A-OK, number one. Has your Helix mattress upgraded your bedroom home? Yes, it has. Every room in my house is elevated to a beautiful, comfortable sleeping place. For one, human beings and other, um, living beings can sleep on, you know? Um, you can personalize it, can you not?

• 1:32Speaker 03

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• 1:45Speaker 04

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• 2:02Speaker 00

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• 2:18Bobby Lee?

  Belly laugh for your belly.

• 2:26Bobby Lee?

  Guys, in America, in Los Angeles, I'm doing a show called Belly Laughs with Hasan Minhaj, Kumail Nanjiani, Margaret Cho, Bobby Lee, Joel Kim Booster, Sherri Cola, Asaf Ali, Andrea Ginn, Jason Chenney, some other guy that I don't want to even say, but ladies, right now, right, Jo-Wall, everybody. Dude, it's gonna be a gigantic Asian festival of laughs and, you know what I mean?

• 2:53Speaker 00

  What time?

• 2:53Bobby Lee?

  It's gonna be July 13th is the show that I'm on, right?

• 2:56Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 2:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. July 12th is gonna be pretty good.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  Fun.

• 3:00Bobby Lee?

  But the 13th?

• 3:00Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:02Bobby Lee?

  The one I'm on? Yeah, it's a big thing. There's a lot of people on it and it's gonna be great, so...

• 3:09Speaker 00

  Go buy your tickets and go see The Slept King on the 13th. Also, guys, we're doing a giveaway, so head over to our social media to see if you can win a pair of tickets to the show.

• 3:45Bobby Lee?

  How did your... How old are you?

• 3:48Speaker 05

  You ain't getting a... shit, I hate that. First question, before we go, just so, in case you do die, how old are you?

• 3:57Speaker 05

  Just before we get going.

• 3:58Bobby Lee?

  Walkin' free now.

• 3:58Speaker 05

  Are you are?

• 3:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 3:59Speaker 05

  Alright, well, I'm, yeah, well, I'm older than you.

• 4:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. But, um, I feel like I'm gonna die too.

• 4:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:09Speaker 05

  I just did a... have we started? No, I know, I didn't know if we'd start because I was gonna start going to some stories and shit.

• 4:15Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 4:15Speaker 05

  I was just gonna start telling shit.

• 4:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, you wanna use your headphones?

• 4:19Speaker 05

  I didn't, oh, yeah, yeah, let's do that.

• 4:21Bobby Lee?

  It's right there.

• 4:21Speaker 05

  I've never been on one of these.

• 4:24Bobby Lee?

  Is that too loud for you Scott?

• 4:26Speaker 05

  Uh, I don't think so. No, yeah, yeah.

• 4:30Bobby Lee?

  I think this is too loud, maybe.

• 4:32Speaker 05

  No, I like it.

• 4:34Bobby Lee?

  Um.

• 4:35Speaker 05

  Scott, Scott Thompson, here in my house. It's a miracle, it's a miracle. Does everybody get that intro or me? Am I really a miracle?

• 4:56Bobby Lee?

  You're a miracle.

• 4:56Speaker 05

  Okay. Everybody gets to say.

• 4:58Bobby Lee?

  You're not a miracle?

• 4:59Speaker 05

  Intro, right? Oh, I'm not a miracle?

• 5:01Bobby Lee?

  Let me ask you something. Are you a fucking miracle, man?

• 5:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, man.

• 5:04Bobby Lee?

  Exactly. You're one of a kind.

• 5:07Speaker 05

  I didn't even see you there, by the way.

• 5:09Bobby Lee?

  Well, Mexicans are sneaky.

• 5:10Speaker 05

  Thank God he's...

• 5:10Bobby Lee?

  And he's wearing a... because of the deer, that's a really good joke.

• 5:14Speaker 05

  The Florida thing, you know?

• 5:15Bobby Lee?

  I even missed the joke. That's how good.

• 5:18Speaker 05

  A camouflage condom, you don't see him coming.

• 5:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you still wear condoms or no?

• 5:23Speaker 05

  No.

• 5:23Bobby Lee?

  You don't fuck?

• 5:24Speaker 05

  No, I'm old now, so you know. You think about it, you know, you watch people fuck.

• 5:29Bobby Lee?

  Scott, you fucked, dude.

• 5:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, no.

• 5:31Bobby Lee?

  You're a fuck machine.

• 5:32Speaker 05

  I am a fuck machine.

• 5:33Bobby Lee?

  Anyway.

• 5:34Speaker 05

  You can sense it when I walked in. The whole crew's like, this guy is a fuck machine.

• 5:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:39Speaker 05

  Take my hat off. Make sure my wig stays on straight.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  Hey, I didn't know you had a hat on.

• 5:45Speaker 05

  I didn't know I had a hat on, right?

• 5:47Bobby Lee?

  That's a good joke.

• 5:48Speaker 05

  Well, I used to do that show. I'd walk in, they'd say, I was on an airplane, they'd say, you gotta take your hat off. I said, I don't have a hat on. I have my stupid fucking hair. I don't have a hat on.

• 5:58Bobby Lee?

  Did you laugh?

• 5:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, I always laugh. I do that.

• 6:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Who came up with... Listen, I want to say something. I'm gonna ask.

• 6:06Speaker 05

  Wait, we forgot to intro him.

• 6:08Bobby Lee?

  I will in a second, man.

• 6:10Speaker 05

  Let him run his show.

• 6:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. That new Mission Impossible, the credits don't come, like the opening credits came later in.

• 6:18Speaker 04

  There's a cold open, yeah.

• 6:19Speaker 05

  Right. There's a cold open, then you say. I like it.

• 6:23Bobby Lee?

  Did you see it?

• 6:24Speaker 05

  No, I've not seen it yet, but yeah, I do wanna see it.

• 6:26Bobby Lee?

  Well, I mean, we have an argument here. I thought it was perfect movie.

• 6:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, I I'm excited to see it.

• 6:32Bobby Lee?

  It's so good, but this fucking Christian goes like.

• 6:36Speaker 00

  I don't know, too much violence or whatever.

• 6:38Bobby Lee?

  Henry Cavill, the best one. Yeah. Oh my. All out. The Philip Seymour Hoffman was good. That was the best, that was second, that was first best. Then why'd you say fucking? Forgot about the Philip, he was the best villain. Yeah, yeah. Think, think it through. Okay, fine. One and two. Okay, good, good, good. Uh, did you see all of the Mission Impossibles?

• 6:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think, yeah, twelve or thirteen of them.

• 6:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:57Speaker 05

  There's been a lot of them.

• 6:58Bobby Lee?

  Hey, uh, there's been a lot.

• 6:59Speaker 05

  Oh, Rocky's a lot of, yeah.

• 7:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm glad it's done, though.

• 7:02Speaker 05

  Is it? They, they, did they finally?

• 7:04Bobby Lee?

  Well, I hope, I like, when he, I saw him at the end live, uh, I'm sorry, spoiler alert.

• 7:09Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:10Bobby Lee?

  Spoiler, but I was like, please, please don't come back.

• 7:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:15Bobby Lee?

  I was, I, I kinda hoping he died.

• 7:17Speaker 05

  I die at the end of my show every night. And, uh, and people are like, he's, he's, this is it.

• 7:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:22Speaker 05

  Coming back and then I come back, but like, but he died horribly.

• 7:27Speaker 05

  The worst show ever, right? But I'm not dead, I'm bad.

• 7:29Bobby Lee?

  There's no way you bombed still.

• 7:30Speaker 05

  No, I mean, I've had shows where I, you know, comics where you just walk away thinking, oh, man, they just, there is such a thing as a, as a, as a bad crowd, I mean, or a bad energy in the room. Necessarily crowd, but you can go out and do a show, the same boom, and it just doesn't take off.

• 7:45Bobby Lee?

  I do it.

• 7:46Speaker 05

  Right.

• 7:46Bobby Lee?

  I fucking do it, man.

• 7:48Speaker 05

  Then this night, like, last night was magical. They were laughing at setups, they were laughing, you know, so you walk off like, well, okay.

• 7:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I hit Thomas that going, well, it's you.

• 7:57Speaker 05

  Well.

• 7:57Bobby Lee?

  Well, I'm like, no, it's not. This is a fuck crowd.

• 8:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's never me. No, no, fuck, yeah. That was George Carlin gave me some great, it was in a brilliant.

• 8:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh, here we go. This is the fucking knowledge here, dog.

• 8:08Speaker 05

  So cool, so I.

• 8:08Bobby Lee?

  Who's George Carlin?

• 8:09Speaker 05

  He, right.

• 8:12Speaker 05

  I gotta know your audience, yeah.

• 8:14Bobby Lee?

  Uh, so what'd he say?

• 8:15Speaker 05

  No, I, I've got to know him over, of years and it was just, you know, my mentor and one of those guys, he just like, wow. Which, which weird, you think of Carrot Top, you don't think George Carlin being a mentor, but that was the, really, the, his, his stuff is so observational and smart. But I, I had come at the side of the show, he'd just finished, walked off and, and I'm standing there and he's like, he had just a horrible show. And he looked right at me, he's, how much of this shit you see? I said, you know, most of it, it was great. And he's like, I was fucking shit. And I said, he said, you know, fuck that. Well, he ended the show by saying, like, if you ever come to Vegas again.

• 8:49Speaker 05

  Fuck you and don't come fucking see me. I told him, I told him that.

• 8:52Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 8:52Speaker 05

  I knew when he walked off, like, he's just, is that his funny way of, hey, fuck you guys? But no, he was pissed.

• 8:57Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 8:57Speaker 05

  And then he looked right at me, he says, um, he said, when do you start? And I started the next night. I said, I'd, tomorrow. He said, how many shows do you do? I said, I do one every night and on Saturday we do two. And he says, why did you, why the fuck do you do two shows on Saturday? And I was just being funny. I said, my manager has a car payment, you know, just something to give him.

• 9:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:16Speaker 05

  And he's like, no, why the fuck do you do two? I said, I don't know, it's kind of nice, because if I fuck up one and then I get a second chat, shot at it.

• 9:22Bobby Lee?

  Sure.

• 9:23Speaker 05

  He got right in my face, like this close, and he says, never fucking give the audience the upper hand. They get your shit, they get your shit. They don't get your fucking dildo strapped to a fucking walker. Fuck them. And I even knew one of my jokes specifically, I might hit the dick on the walker, wow. And so it was like insane that George Carlin not only knew me, but he knew my bit.

• 9:43Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 9:44Speaker 05

  And what a bit to pick, you know, the walker with the dildo strapped to it, fuck them.

• 9:47Bobby Lee?

  I love that bit, man.

• 9:48Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 9:48Bobby Lee?

  I've always wanted to fuck that walker.

• 9:51Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever seen that bit where you want to fuck it? Uh, am I swearing too much? Too sexual, right?

• 9:56Speaker 05

  Too sexual.

• 9:57Bobby Lee?

  I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll step back. You know how YouTube goes.

• 10:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, no, I started, I started talking about dildos and.

• 10:04Bobby Lee?

  Well, you know, I mean, but I said fuck.

• 10:06Speaker 05

  Ah.

• 10:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You can't even do.

• 10:08Speaker 05

  You're worse.

• 10:08Bobby Lee?

  Mis-siality is a big red flag, right?

• 10:11Speaker 00

  Do you talk about that often?

• 10:12Bobby Lee?

  No, but I want to.

• 10:13Speaker 05

  You just don't say the F word, you can say a B C F.

• 10:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or it's another one, oh yeah, anyway, a lot of, anyway.

• 10:20Speaker 05

  A lot of comedy.

• 10:20Bobby Lee?

  Carrot Top, everybody.

• 10:22Speaker 05

  Hey.

• 10:22Bobby Lee?

  Carrot Top.

• 10:26Speaker 05

  I have to share with you, only because it's on my brain for a second, when you said, uh, what you can do and get away with, like, the F word or mis-siality, whatever you're saying. I did The Tonight Show many times. One of the times, the best part for me was.

• 10:38Bobby Lee?

  I want to interrupt you for a second. I, when, I remember I was in high school.

• 10:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:42Bobby Lee?

  And I saw you on, um, Leno, I think.

• 10:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and it was, yeah, because I did it years later, but toward the end of his reign, but, um, it really was, I laughed so fucking hard. I had never seen anything like it. Now, you know, when I started doing stand-up, you would run into, you know, Harry Basil.

• 11:00Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 11:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, and these types of guys that do similar, not similar even, it's just. That, that type.

• 11:06Speaker 05

  Visual.

• 11:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, visual, yeah, comedy in that way. And, um, obviously, I think that you're, he was before you, but I thought you were so funny. And, um, you just, you crushed.

• 11:19Speaker 05

  Oh, thanks.

• 11:20Bobby Lee?

  You were a crusher.

• 11:21Speaker 05

  It was a fun, yeah, yeah, that's what Jay would always say, because Jay would get grief from a lot of comics. He'd say, "Why do you have some carrots up in the th-" and he would say, you know, "He delivers, you know, it's, you know, it's come to the goods, you know, it's comedy." So, I, I, I had this one in particular, just ever, never in my life will forget this as a comic. I, I go and I have to do the, the rehearsal for the, the, you know, the people that checked the, what do they call that, the, uh?

• 11:42Bobby Lee?

  Sound?

• 11:43Speaker 05

  No, the, the, approve the jokes, like, it's like not checks and balances.

• 11:46Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I hate that.

• 11:47Speaker 05

  Not checks and balances, but that other thing.

• 11:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:50Speaker 05

  And so, she sits with a clipboard and she would determine what I could get away with, what I can't do.

• 11:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:54Speaker 05

  And she would always just like, after my rehearsal, she'd say, "You know, you can't do the gay mousetrap," or whatever it was.

• 11:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:59Speaker 05

  I'm like, "Okay." The best one is, I had a closer, and it was like, closing bit, and it was a podium for Bill Clinton, and it was a podium, and it had all this foot pedals and, and buzzers, and, and I'd be like, "I didn't, I did not have, you know, sex."

• 12:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:15Speaker 05

  And the buzz would go, "Eh," and I'd, I'd say, "But I did not," eh, ding ding, right?

• 12:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:19Speaker 05

  And the last punchline, the big come shot, would be, the, uh, Monica Lewinsky's head would come up, under the thing, so I'm, I'm like, "I did not have," and all of a sudden the head would come, and so visually, just boom, right? And then I'd say, "Not now," and I'd finish the thing. So, you know, the la- everyone's dying, the whole, the whole, you know, studio audience, this is, this is gonna be, she, I see you walking over, she goes, "You can't do that, that," and she goes, "Okay, now the po-" I said, "Oh, God, not the podium." She goes, "You can do the podium."

• 12:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:47Speaker 05

  "You just can't, you can't put your head, hand on her head." So, I said-

• 12:52Bobby Lee?

  Well, how else are you gonna do it?

• 12:53Speaker 05

  Well, I said the same thing, I said, "That's, the joke is not now."

• 12:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:57Speaker 05

  And she, you just, you can't. I said, I went to the prop guys, I said, "Could you make my foot pedal make it, like, bring one where it brings it down?" Now, you tape this thing in four in the afternoon, we're going at five, there's no time for these guys to make it. So, I just said- Okay, we're on live. It's at the moment, I do the joke, head pops up, the crowd's going nuts. And I said, "Not now," and I used to use my elbow. She didn't say elbow, she just said, "Don't use your hands."

• 13:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh, smart, dude.

• 13:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, smart. And then I got just reprimanded after the show for that, but she's like, "You're so smart. You're so, and I told you not to use your hand." I said, "I used my elbow. I didn't use my hands."

• 13:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, wow.

• 13:29Speaker 05

  But I had to have the ending.

• 13:30Bobby Lee?

  So I had a bit on, so I did one Tonight Show on Leno. And I have this bit about, you know, I think my roommate's gay. Every time I come home, he always wants to wrestle, you know what I mean? "Let's wrestle," right? And then like, my roommate jumps on top of me, and, but I used the stool as me. And I'm my roommate, and that, you know, he gets on and he kinda like, at the end, does a little pump.

• 13:51Speaker 05

  Nice, dude.

• 13:52Bobby Lee?

  Right? And they go, "You can't do the pump."

• 13:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, and that's the whole, right.

• 13:56Bobby Lee?

  But I did the pump.

• 13:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 13:58Bobby Lee?

  And nothing happened. No one said anything.

• 13:59Speaker 05

  Oh, good.

• 14:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just have to do it.

• 14:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 14:03Bobby Lee?

  Do it live! Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gonna Bill O'Reilly.

• 14:06Speaker 05

  Bill O'Reilly.

• 14:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:07Speaker 05

  Just fucking do it live!

• 14:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And in my mind, I'm like, because I have to show every muscle, especially my thrust.

• 14:13Speaker 05

  The rants, yes. The rants are always the best, aren't they? Like Casey Kasem, my god.

• 14:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right.

• 14:18Speaker 05

  How great is that?

• 14:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's great.

• 14:20Speaker 05

  We're gonna do this guy.

• 14:21Bobby Lee?

  You must thrust hard, huh?

• 14:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 14:23Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 14:23Speaker 05

  I did, I did that, I did it. I mean, yes.

• 14:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:26Speaker 05

  Not on NBC, actually.

• 14:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're so built.

• 14:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, I got it. I saw my hate mail, I'm carrying all my hate mail.

• 14:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Now, um, because I get a lot, and, you know, um, what do you, do you read comments or no?

• 14:40Speaker 05

  No.

• 14:40Bobby Lee?

  Either. But is that something that you have to discipline yourself? Because I have to discipline myself.

• 14:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, I, I, no, I don't read it.

• 14:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:49Speaker 05

  I just don't.

• 14:50Bobby Lee?

  Did you, used to read it?

• 14:52Speaker 05

  I think, no, because we didn't have all that social media when I was starting, so there was, you'd just hear it after the show in the, in the hallway. "That fucking guy sucked." That would be the same as reading an Instagram.

• 15:02Bobby Lee?

  The worst is when they go up to your fucking feature and they go, "You were better than that."

• 15:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:07Bobby Lee?

  "You blew the guy away." Yeah, it, yeah, he had the prime spot.

• 15:11Speaker 05

  He had the, yeah, why did you go last? He's, he's.

• 15:13Bobby Lee?

  I know. Imagine if you had to, "Oh, yeah? Well, he'll headline next show."

• 15:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:18Bobby Lee?

  Right? And then how, how is he gonna fare? Okay, I hate it. What, John? You know what I mean? You don't even know that position. It's so humiliating when they go up to your feature who does ten minutes, the prime spot, right? No one knows them, so you could just go pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, right, right? And it's like, we have to pace ourselves.

• 15:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:39Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 15:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:40Bobby Lee?

  The expectations.

• 15:41Speaker 05

  Sure, yeah.

• 15:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:42Speaker 05

  Absolutely. That happens to me a lot. Yeah. I do ten minutes on shows and.

• 15:47Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 15:47Speaker 05

  See, they call that a spot, right? As we call them.

• 15:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we call them a spot.

• 15:50Speaker 05

  So when I, when I, I just did a show the night. No, I was, I was that guy, but I have, I have that.

• 15:55Bobby Lee?

  You were never that guy.

• 15:56Speaker 05

  Yes, I was.

• 15:56Bobby Lee?

  When? In the seventies?

• 15:59Speaker 05

  Forty, yeah, seven, in the seventies. And I would do spots and I would bring, I used to literally, like a, like I'd call it a little guest set. I'd bring like a little trunk. And, uh.

• 16:07Bobby Lee?

  You must have been so hard to follow.

• 16:09Speaker 05

  People like, get your shit out of the hallway. But I remember one time, last week, I was in the middle of my crowd and I went, I go into the crowd and I give out shots of Crown and I just fuck with the crowd a little bit. And, um, this guy's, he's just so, he's just so like, sitting there, he's like, dude, good spot tonight. And I, and I, I just lost my mind. I'm like.

• 16:28Speaker 05

  I'm like, nice spot. It's a fucking hour and a half show. It's not a fucking spot. Hey, good set. It's not a fucking set. I was, I was just.

• 16:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:35Speaker 05

  I mean, for day, I'm still talking about it.

• 16:37Bobby Lee?

  In your mind. Yeah, yeah. You didn't say that to him.

• 16:39Speaker 05

  My crew is like, what's wrong with you? You said it called it a fucking set. It's not a set, it's an hour and a half show. It takes. Fucking nice.

• 16:45Bobby Lee?

  Nice spot?

• 16:46Speaker 05

  Spot. Nice spot.

• 16:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Fuck off.

• 16:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, fuck off.

• 16:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Or when they go, you're pretty funny.

• 16:52Speaker 05

  Yeah. Or, yeah, yeah.

• 16:54Bobby Lee?

  Just don't say anything!

• 16:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, or you do, yeah.

• 16:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:57Speaker 05

  We get them all, right?

• 16:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:59Speaker 05

  I never wanted to come. We, right, tell them, honey, we didn't want to come to the show. She fucking hates you, in fact, but we went to the show tonight. We had such a great time. Like, oh, that's good. It sort of turned out okay. Yeah, but we didn't want it and they'll say it again. No, but we, we hated you. We've always hated you.

• 17:13Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 17:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I go, so, but now we're, we're good?

• 17:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:17Speaker 05

  And they're like, oh, now, no, your show is actually pretty good. I'm like, well, actually pretty good? Okay, I'll take actually.

• 17:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you know, it just, you know, I hate-

• 17:24Speaker 05

  Funny that we thought it was gonna be-

• 17:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 17:26Speaker 05

  Do you hate, can I ask you something? Do you hate elitism in comedy? Elit- elitism? Elitism? No, no, you said it right. I just, it's a big word for Carrot Top.

• 17:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:39Speaker 05

  No, I mean, you mean like, just in general? They're smugy, you like smugy comedians? We called them, I'm trying to think, back in my day, we'd call them like, uh, too hip for the room guys. So, I wouldn't be playing in a club where they had, you know, my, my notes on a stool, because I didn't do that.

• 17:55Bobby Lee?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 17:56Speaker 05

  So I would just, I would just, you know, I always went for the masses. I was playing colleges.

• 18:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:01Speaker 05

  So I never had, you know, my-

• 18:02Bobby Lee?

  Like you two, you're you two.

• 18:04Speaker 05

  I'm, well-

• 18:05Bobby Lee?

  I'm, I'm like, I'm a local band, you know what I mean?

• 18:08Speaker 05

  No, no, no.

• 18:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:09Speaker 05

  No, it was just, I always just did my thing. I didn't really go and do like, you know, I just, I still would do topical, I still do topical stuff, but I didn't do it in a sense of- Was your nails? I didn't see them. I get my nails too. Oh, look at that. Oh.

• 18:22Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 18:23Speaker 05

  Let's see your, oh wait, look, our toes are, look, my toes are colored too. Look, fuck, we're the same.

• 18:27Bobby Lee?

  Let's, let's, let's bond on that.

• 18:28Speaker 05

  Let's see, yeah, I think they're-

• 18:30Speaker 00

  Let's blur this out.

• 18:31Speaker 05

  I think-

• 18:31Speaker 00

  People gotta pay money for this.

• 18:32Speaker 05

  Oh, they're, they're like purple and pink. Oh, sweet.

• 18:38Speaker 05

  We might get something free out of this thing.

• 18:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:41Speaker 04

  Grown man with nails.

• 18:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, people, that, we get that too.

• 18:44Bobby Lee?

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

• 18:45Speaker 05

  What's that? Wait, yeah, wait, wait, yeah.

• 18:47Speaker 04

  Come back again with the fucker.

• 18:48Bobby Lee?

  What the fuck you say, motherfucker?

• 18:51Bobby Lee?

  What'd you say, motherfucker?

• 18:52Speaker 04

  I said, I never seen grown men with painted nails.

• 18:54Speaker 05

  Well, now you have.

• 18:56Speaker 04

  Now I have, too.

• 18:57Bobby Lee?

  Me, Carrot Top, Burt Kreischer, we all do it.

• 19:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:01Speaker 05

  Who's Shaquille O'Neal?

• 19:02Bobby Lee?

  Shaquille O'Neal does it, dude.

• 19:04Speaker 04

  Is that like, part of the elite?

• 19:06Speaker 00

  Oh, that's elitism in comedy?

• 19:08Bobby Lee?

  It costs twenty dollars.

• 19:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, shit.

• 19:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could get you one tonight.

• 19:13Speaker 04

  No.

• 19:13Bobby Lee?

  All right, while you never get your feet or, uh, hands done?

• 19:16Speaker 04

  Part of my hands, but not on feet.

• 19:17Speaker 05

  How about your balls waxed?

• 19:20Speaker 05

  I'm just asking.

• 19:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, your balls aren't masked?

• 19:22Speaker 05

  Nah, it's a package deal.

• 19:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Are you shaved or not shaved on there?

• 19:25Speaker 05

  Me?

• 19:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:26Speaker 05

  Completely, no hair.

• 19:27Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I'll try.

• 19:29Speaker 00

  Right.

• 19:30Speaker 05

  God, yeah, same, yeah, okay.

• 19:34Speaker 05

  And weird thing is, I'm look, I look twice.

• 19:38Speaker 05

  I looked and I, I know you did. Then I looked again, I'm like, why am I looking twice?

• 19:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:44Bobby Lee?

  I shaved my butthole, everything.

• 19:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, I have people shave mine, I don't shave.

• 19:48Bobby Lee?

  Really? Is it dwarf or?

• 19:50Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:50Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 19:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:51Bobby Lee?

  They're the best at it.

• 19:53Speaker 05

  They're already down there.

• 19:53Bobby Lee?

  They're already? I, I know, I know. Um.

• 19:56Speaker 05

  Not now.

• 19:58Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 19:58Speaker 05

  Not now.

• 19:59Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 20:00Speaker 05

  No, not now.

• 20:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you did a callback?

• 20:02Speaker 05

  Callback of that.

• 20:02Bobby Lee?

  Monica. That callback was weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it was an elbow thing.

• 20:08Speaker 05

  Okay, well, he did it with the hand, too.

• 20:10Bobby Lee?

  I, I understand that, but maybe the elbow would have worked better, right? Anyway, let's just move on from that. Um.

• 20:14Speaker 05

  And do you work out?

• 20:26Bobby Lee?

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• 21:44Bobby Lee?

  Guys, I have three mattresses in my house.

• 21:46Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah?

• 21:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I do. I don't like your condescending voice, dude. I have three mattresses at my house, and they're the best mattresses on planet Earth. I'll tell you why.

• 21:55Speaker 05

  Why?

• 21:55Bobby Lee?

  Because when I have guests over and I have people spend the night, and I have people over at my house, right, I want them to have, to sleep on a cloud.

• 22:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:02Bobby Lee?

  Like in heaven. When you die in heaven, I believe that you sleep on an Helix mattress when you die and you go to heaven.

• 22:08Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 22:09Bobby Lee?

  Alright?

• 22:09Speaker 00

  Do you think you're going to heaven?

• 22:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Helix has snoring, if you have back pain.

• 22:22Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:22Bobby Lee?

  Sleep apnea, sleeping through the night, sleeping too hot. You have all kinds of mattresses to address all those issues, okay? So Helix, you fill out a quiz, right? And sometimes if they suggest the right mattress for you, okay?

• 22:37Speaker 00

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• 22:52Speaker 06

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• 23:03Speaker 05

  Okay, but he did it with the hand, too.

• 23:04Bobby Lee?

  I understand that, but maybe the elbow would have worked better, right? Anyway, let's just move on from that.

• 23:08Speaker 05

  And do you work out? Do I work out? Yeah, like...

• 23:11Bobby Lee?

  Look at him, dude!

• 23:12Speaker 05

  No, I got punched really hard. And swelling. I got stung by a bee right here.

• 23:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:18Speaker 05

  No, I work out, but not as much as I used to. I still lift a little, just to stay in shape, you know?

• 23:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 05

  You gotta be in shape.

• 23:24Bobby Lee?

  Because you used to be skinny, but now you're buffed out.

• 23:26Speaker 05

  I'm still skinny. I weigh 156 pounds. I mean, I'm not...

• 23:30Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 23:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm skinnier than people think.

• 23:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. You're 150... How tall are you?

• 23:33Speaker 05

  I'm 6'5".

• 23:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:37Bobby Lee?

  See, here's the thing.

• 23:38Speaker 05

  You always do that.

• 23:39Bobby Lee?

  He weighs how I weigh, but he's much taller. So I'm still fat then.

• 23:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, see, I always do that when I go to doctors. Ever since I was a kid, they actually, the clipboard, she'd say, "How tall are you?" And I'd say, "Six-five." And she goes, "How much do you weigh?" And I'd say, "Two-twenty," and she'd go, "Two-twenty." And I'd say, "Well, you're not six-five." "What the fuck?" I'm like, "What?" "You're not two..." "What are you..."

• 23:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:56Speaker 05

  Great thing to do when you're a kid.

• 23:57Bobby Lee?

  Is that your sock?

• 23:58Speaker 05

  That's my sock.

• 23:59Bobby Lee?

  Put your sock back on.

• 24:00Speaker 05

  I know, I was gonna take, you know, it'd kill time to...

• 24:02Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, we added it up, but put your fuck... Put your sock back on.

• 24:04Speaker 05

  I'll remember it.

• 24:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay, okay, okay. I just, you know why, in my mind now, his foot is in his sweaty shoe.

• 24:12Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 24:12Bobby Lee?

  Is it sweating? Okay.

• 24:14Speaker 05

  I'm not nervous or anything.

• 24:18Speaker 05

  Neither am I.

• 24:19Bobby Lee?

  So I'm gonna ask you some, because we've never, we've never met before.

• 24:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't think we have.

• 24:24Bobby Lee?

  We haven't. The one time I saw you, though, was, um, many, many years ago, I was walking down Melrose, and you were sitting in a car outside of the Improv. But you weren't doing, I don't know if you were doing a show or not, but I remember walking by, looking at you, you seemed very happy. I was gonna knock on the window, but I didn't wanna be that guy, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? I was also, no one knew who I was back then. But, um, that's the only time I've physically seen you, you know what I mean? So I'm gonna ask you some basic questions.

• 24:50Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 24:50Bobby Lee?

  For my audience, okay? Who came up with the Carrot Top?

• 24:57Speaker 05

  I don't know. Oh, you don't wanna know?

• 24:59Bobby Lee?

  I didn't wanna ask it because it's like, because I don't know the information. It's like, you know, maybe most people know, but it's like, I wanna know.

• 25:06Speaker 05

  I, I, I honestly was, I was starting out, uh, doing comedy, and I, I didn't even have an act yet. I had no jokes, and I, I was in, in my class, drawing something for a marketing class. I drew logos for these things I was supposed to work. And then, for some reason, I drew a carrot, and a mic, a carrot holding a microphone, and I said, uh, "Carrot Top" or something, and I, I made the logo, and, and my friend said, "What's that?" I said, "It's for my, my, my comedy career." And he says, "You're a comic?" I said, "No, but when I, when I have, when I become a comic, I have the logo, the hard part's over."

• 25:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:40Speaker 05

  I've got the logo. And uh.

• 25:43Bobby Lee?

  What's so funny?

• 25:44Speaker 05

  I went on stage and I just said to the guy to bring me up, can you bring me up as carrot top? And he's like, uh, carrot top?

• 25:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:49Speaker 05

  And I had this big red wig on.

• 25:52Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 25:52Speaker 05

  And when I went, my hair was this big red and I had this red wig to cover it. So when they brought me up, I said, hey, yeah, and everybody laughed and I said, it's not, not that funny. And then it was, you know, so then it made kind of a bit. But people, if you look up on my, people say that I got it from my swimming coach. I'm like, I don't think I ever.

• 26:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:07Speaker 05

  Remember my swimming coach say, I wanna call him carrot top.

• 26:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:10Speaker 05

  I only got into swimming so I could shave my legs.

• 26:12Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 26:13Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 26:13Bobby Lee?

  You're potato bottom.

• 26:14Speaker 05

  Potato bottom.

• 26:17Speaker 05

  You're fudge top.

• 26:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, fudge middle, really. Yeah, dude, you're fudge middle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's what you are, dude.

• 26:27Speaker 05

  And your rice cake?

• 26:31Bobby Lee?

  Nah, I don't think it works. It's gotta be a body part.

• 26:33Speaker 05

  Body part.

• 26:34Bobby Lee?

  Like, like, um, so you can come up with something else.

• 26:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, cotton top, if you had white hair.

• 26:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:40Speaker 05

  It doesn't have to be a vegetable, yeah.

• 26:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, don't think that, if you can't, you have to think that long, the joke's over.

• 26:45Speaker 05

  Damn it.

• 26:46Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 26:47Speaker 05

  My carrot top.

• 26:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then, um, did you start at clubs?

• 26:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:52Bobby Lee?

  Which, where?

• 26:53Speaker 05

  In Florida.

• 26:54Bobby Lee?

  What part? Let me guess. Let me guess.

• 26:57Speaker 05

  Tallahassee.

• 26:58Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 26:58Speaker 05

  Wait, Tallahassee's not Florida, right? Yeah, Tallahassee's.

• 27:01Bobby Lee?

  It is, yeah.

• 27:02Speaker 05

  I started in South Florida.

• 27:03Bobby Lee?

  Uh, South Florida.

• 27:04Speaker 05

  South, West Palm Beach.

• 27:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh, West Palm.

• 27:06Speaker 05

  Fort Lauderdale.

• 27:06Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 27:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:08Bobby Lee?

  None of the improvs were there back then?

• 27:10Speaker 05

  No, there were comedy corners, it was called the comedy corner.

• 27:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. The worst is the mi-

• 27:13Speaker 05

  But there were my, uh, Catch a Rising Star.

• 27:16Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 27:17Speaker 05

  Um, yeah.

• 27:18Bobby Lee?

  The worst was the old Miami Improv.

• 27:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:21Bobby Lee?

  They have that pillar in the middle, or something in the middle of the room? Oh my God, that was a devastating room for me.

• 27:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:27Speaker 05

  But I did all the clubs.

• 27:28Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 27:28Speaker 05

  Then we got into colleges and that was just kinda like, you know, it just was amazing. You know, that's where it really took off. I did start doing, you know, I would, but the weird thing was I would do like a cafeteria in the morning at a college, university, university of, whatever, South Alabama in their, in their cafeteria. And then at night I would do University of Alabama in their stadium. So it was the, every, how crazy is that? So you're, you're playing a cafeteria where people were eating and not giving a shit. And that night you're a star in a big arena.

• 27:58Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 27:59Speaker 05

  So it was so, it was so weird to, to go.

• 28:02Bobby Lee?

  I never had a one.

• 28:03Speaker 05

  A rock star and then you're working a, a fucking library, so, yeah.

• 28:07Bobby Lee?

  Wow. I've never had one good college show, ever. Where I walked off and go, oh, that was great.

• 28:12Speaker 05

  Well, you know, it was years ago, and I think a lot of things have changed with that. Cause when I was playing college, you could, that's what they wanted, but they wanted the irreverence. They wanted my plate for bulimics. They wanted a, you know, a bong, it'd be a lamp that, look, it was a bong that was a lamp. So you could, when they had parents weekend, you could, you know, hide your bong by putting a lamp. It was all this college material.

• 28:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:35Speaker 05

  And they'd howl at, but now I would, I would never go to play at college.

• 28:38Bobby Lee?

  Oh my goodness, right? It would be, I think it'd be tough.

• 28:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, but, yeah.

• 28:42Bobby Lee?

  It'd be depressing.

• 28:42Speaker 05

  I think so.

• 28:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:44Speaker 05

  I mean, I don't know, maybe like, they, but it was a different time.

• 28:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:47Speaker 05

  People enjoyed, people enjoyed everything back then.

• 28:49Bobby Lee?

  I've done, I'm running like a stage the size of this fucking keyboard. Is that you?

• 28:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is someone on Reddit that posted, this is Carrot Top playing at my college.

• 29:00Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 29:00Bobby Lee?

  Wow, dude.

• 29:02Speaker 05

  Who's the chick on the right?

• 29:05Bobby Lee?

  She's beautiful.

• 29:05Speaker 05

  Beautiful. No, oh, the other one, the girl.

• 29:10Speaker 05

  It's my right.

• 29:10Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:11Speaker 05

  It was my right.

• 29:11Bobby Lee?

  I was saying the right, that was, that lady's beautiful, right?

• 29:15Speaker 05

  That's when I had my, Jesus Christ.

• 29:16Bobby Lee?

  You don't remember what college? You probably don't. No, that's a stupid question.

• 29:19Speaker 05

  No, but I fucked her.

• 29:23Speaker 05

  You could, you could see it, you could see it, you could see in the, in the.

• 29:25Bobby Lee?

  When I was in Mission Impossible last night, some black dude walks in front of me, goes, wow, do you remember me? What?

• 29:33Speaker 05

  Oh, he's still looking at the thing?

• 29:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:35Speaker 05

  Maybe just a dude?

• 29:36Bobby Lee?

  He goes, do you remember me? And I go, what? He goes, right on, sounds fair. And I'm like, I said hi to you. Like, how the fuck would I remember you, bro? It's crazy. Well, part of it was gonna go, oh, yeah, you're that black guy.

• 29:52Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't say hi to a lot of black people.

• 29:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:57Bobby Lee?

  Some people think that we remember people, like they would take a photo.

• 30:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, oh, yeah, they always do that. You remember when we became ten years, I'm like, yeah, now you know you don't. Here's the, I said, I still don't remember.

• 30:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know.

• 30:07Speaker 05

  I mean, I still don't remember that.

• 30:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, they, cause they'll come back ten years later from, you know, like at a club that you were once at.

• 30:13Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:14Bobby Lee?

  And they go, I was here ten years ago.

• 30:15Speaker 05

  Here's your baby.

• 30:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I've only done that.

• 30:21Bobby Lee?

  Twice in my life.

• 30:22Speaker 05

  What?

• 30:23Bobby Lee?

  Going to a comedy club, meeting a lady, and then hooking up. I don't, I never did a lot of that.

• 30:29Speaker 05

  I guess back in the day, that was it. I was, I was, I was bad.

• 30:32Bobby Lee?

  You were, yeah, but.

• 30:33Speaker 05

  And I was Carrot Top. All the comics were like, what the, how does Carrot Top get it? I get the hottest, the hottest.

• 30:40Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 30:41Speaker 05

  And people, and back in the day, that's all people were talking about, like, dude, Carrot Top's like.

• 30:45Bobby Lee?

  That surprised me.

• 30:46Speaker 05

  Is the dude. I mean, I don't know, I said, they'd like my, you know, I don't know. But they were, even the club owners like.

• 30:53Bobby Lee?

  I think you can close faster than me.

• 30:55Speaker 05

  Nice, that's very nice.

• 30:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I don't have the gift of gab. I can open, but I can't close. I can go hello, right? But I can't go goodbye.

• 31:04Speaker 00

  What's your, what's your, what's your typical close that you've tried in the past?

• 31:08Bobby Lee?

  Uh, I'll do this. Do you want to go up to my hotel room and play chess?

• 31:12Speaker 05

  Nice. With Louis CK, we're gonna have fun.

• 31:17Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 31:18Speaker 00

  He said with Louis.

• 31:19Speaker 05

  We're just gonna, we're just gonna, it's a, okay, it's a fun game, fun game.

• 31:23Bobby Lee?

  These chess places, pieces are sticky. No, I'll, I'll go, hey, you want to go up and wrestle? I had to make a.

• 31:31Speaker 05

  I think I know how, why, and, oh, yeah.

• 31:34Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, hold on.

• 31:34Speaker 05

  I think we all know.

• 31:35Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, what I'm saying is, I'm trying to make it so it's like, oh, he's being funny.

• 31:40Speaker 05

  And what's your opening then? We, your closing is, hey, wanna wrestle? Hi.

• 31:44Bobby Lee?

  I'll, no, no, no, not just hi, no.

• 31:46Speaker 05

  Hi.

• 31:46Bobby Lee?

  I'll say something like arbitrary or something like, God, I love your shoulder blades.

• 31:51Speaker 00

  That's a good, that's.

• 31:52Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? To get a little giggle, you know what I mean? Your face, not, not so much, but your shoulder blades. And then at the end, I'll go, you want to go wrestle? Do you want to, um, I'll sometimes go, you want, you want to cuddle? Upstairs and cuddle? But how do you say, you want to go upstairs and, you know what I mean?

• 32:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:10Bobby Lee?

  I don't know how to do it.

• 32:11Speaker 00

  Try that.

• 32:11Bobby Lee?

  What do you say as a close?

• 32:12Speaker 05

  I just say, you want to.

• 32:13Bobby Lee?

  I'm a girl, okay. Hi, I love your show.

• 32:15Speaker 05

  Well, thank you.

• 32:16Bobby Lee?

  Can I call you Scott?

• 32:18Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 32:19Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 32:20Speaker 05

  What's that?

• 32:20Bobby Lee?

  Is it why? Oh, your mom calls you Scott?

• 32:22Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 32:23Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Well, I'll just call you Carrot Top then. Mr. Top. Can I call you Mr. Top?

• 32:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, don't call me Mr. Top.

• 32:27Bobby Lee?

  Okay, yeah. All right, anyway, um.

• 32:29Speaker 05

  You have an Uber picking you up soon?

• 32:32Speaker 05

  I'm already annoyed with you.

• 32:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no, no, no. Anyway, so I really, um, I've just been a fan so long.

• 32:38Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 32:39Bobby Lee?

  And, um, I just, you know, what are you doing?

• 32:42Speaker 05

  I was gonna go up and watch my own special on HBO.

• 32:46Speaker 05

  Jerk off to it. Would you like to come see it? It's really funny.

• 32:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. If that's what you would say?

• 32:50Speaker 05

  No.

• 32:51Bobby Lee?

  Now, how would you get around that?

• 32:52Speaker 05

  I was on a plane just last week and I was watching some thing and the guy next to me, he was like 90, and he kept looking over at me because I was laughing at this Instagram thing. And he said, uh, "I don't wanna bother you, but man, something's really making you laugh. Do you mind sharing with me what you're watching?"

• 33:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:07Speaker 05

  "I don't have a phone, I'm 90." So I said, "Yeah." And I showed him, he's like, "Oh, man." And he says, "Is that like a joke on your show?" And I'm like, "Why would I be watching a joke on the, like, I'm watching me on the plane, like, watching Carrot Top." "Have you seen him? It's fucking great." So...

• 33:22Bobby Lee?

  He knew who you were?

• 33:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, 'cause he says, "Is that a joke on your show?" I said, "Yeah, no, I'm, you know."

• 33:27Bobby Lee?

  Do you get, I, I can't imagine being you because, I mean, I guess, well, go ahead.

• 33:31Speaker 05

  Have you ever used a prop to, like, pick up a girl? No. I don't, I mean, that Pringles can might come in handy later.

• 33:42Speaker 05

  I haven't, yeah, I haven't, yes, no. No, I don't think, I don't walk around with props, uh, ever.

• 33:48Speaker 05

  Nah.

• 33:49Bobby Lee?

  Chuck?

• 33:50Speaker 05

  Walking a bar?

• 33:53Speaker 05

  Well, yeah, that's a good question.

• 33:54Bobby Lee?

  No, it's not! Fuck off!

• 33:57Speaker 05

  Like, pop in her pocket. I mean, I, I mean, I've done shows where people have walked up after me, doing a prop and said, "That's really clever," and that made me laugh. "How did you think of it?" And that might get them wanting to talk to.

• 34:07Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 34:07Speaker 05

  I don't think I ever walked up and just, yeah.

• 34:09Bobby Lee?

  Do you know, do you know Willie Tyler?

• 34:10Speaker 05

  Yes, and Lester?

• 34:12Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't know Lester.

• 34:13Speaker 05

  Oh, I know Lester better than Willie Tyler.

• 34:16Bobby Lee?

  You know who they are? Legends.

• 34:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, legend, for sure.

• 34:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, if you go to any ventriloquist, you know, convention, Willie Tyler, there'll be a section dedicated to Willie Tyler.

• 34:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what a nice man.

• 34:27Speaker 05

  Oh, he's great. He's been doing it for thousands.

• 34:29Bobby Lee?

  Thousands of years.

• 34:30Speaker 05

  Really? Honestly?

• 34:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, there he is.

• 34:31Speaker 05

  There he is.

• 34:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so Lester is the...

• 34:34Speaker 05

  Adam Sandler looks like shit.

• 34:35Bobby Lee?

  I know. Yeah. Lester looks better than Adam Sandler.

• 34:39Speaker 05

  Wait. Is that, are they, no, that, wait, no, that's Lester, that's, yeah.

• 34:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, that's Lester. Well, you think that was Michael Jackson in the middle?

• 34:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. But so he told me a story once. I opened for him. This is in the 90s. He's like, oh, and he told me a story about how he used to put Lester on the, like, when he's hooking up with women in the hotel room. And sometimes the request is put Lester out in the bed too.

• 35:06Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 35:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

• 35:09Speaker 05

  That kinda just turned me on a little bit. Just have him wa- he just gonna watch.

• 35:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's so-

• 35:14Speaker 05

  And he can watch. That guy's seen some shit. Look at his, look at his eyes.

• 35:17Bobby Lee?

  I know. I know. But what a kind man.

• 35:21Speaker 05

  Yes, very kind and legend. Been doing it for thousands of years.

• 35:24Bobby Lee?

  See, I always play homage to the greats from before. I'm tired of these young comics that don't know shit. They don't know what came before them. You know what I mean? It's like, I'm a, I've always been a historian of comic. There's not, I could run into Alan Stevens, know who he is. Even the old, like, you know David Tyree, these, yeah, these old, you know what I mean? Like, I just-

• 35:47Speaker 05

  I knew Stevens, guy, you said, but not Ty-

• 35:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I just, you know, I always, I always just know who people are because I'm just a huge fan of, and it doesn't even have to, like, you know, I hate these young guys, like, well, I don't, I don't know how they made it or whatever. It's like, do you know how hard it, you know how hard it is? They made it because there's something about them that connects with an audience, you know what I mean? Which is a, and they're dynamic in some sort of way. And it's like, I just, these younger comics, they just have no respect. You know what I mean?

• 36:17Speaker 05

  Okay. God, you're making me cry now.

• 36:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Don't you, I mean, that doesn't bother you?

• 36:28Speaker 05

  No.

• 36:28Bobby Lee?

  God, that just fell into a fucking hole.

• 36:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:31Bobby Lee?

  And I was just like, how do I get out of this hole? You know what I mean? Well, how do you get out of that hole? There's nothing. I shouldn't have gone down that trail.

• 36:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:40Bobby Lee?

  Is that what it is?

• 36:40Speaker 00

  I think you're fine.

• 36:41Speaker 05

  Well, I mean, young comics, you're talking about young comics that don't-

• 36:44Bobby Lee?

  It's okay, we let it go.

• 36:45Speaker 05

  They don't-

• 36:45Bobby Lee?

  Let's let it go.

• 36:45Speaker 05

  Because if they don't, if they're not successful or successful yet, maybe, with that kind of attitude, it won't be.

• 36:51Bobby Lee?

  Well, how, so how long do you give a young comic to, to, like, is there a certain point?

• 36:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:56Bobby Lee?

  Where you go, I do, it's been a while.

• 36:59Speaker 05

  That's a great question because I think you're born with it. I mean, I think that you were, yeah, I think that you're literally like you have it right away.

• 37:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:09Speaker 05

  I don't think that you go to comedy class and they teach you timing and they teach you how to pause and they teach you how to be. You're just funny. I was never, I just was never told joke in my life. But I listened to my father, who was a great joke teller. And I would watch Carlin and The Tonight Show with Johnny Carlin. He just had that timing. And you kind of learned it from watching it, but then you would go up there. I don't think when they have comedy classes, I think you can tell. I just did a show called Kill Tony, I'm probably very familiar.

• 37:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I've done it, yeah.

• 37:36Speaker 05

  They bring all the comics up and within less than a second, you can already tell, like you just said, the it.

• 37:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:44Speaker 05

  The second they walk, they have a demeanor, a look, their eye, their hip, how they hold the mic.

• 37:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:50Speaker 05

  Right away, or they're like, they're not funny. I just can tell right away.

• 37:53Bobby Lee?

  But would you ever tell a comic, let's say, I'm a guy that's been doing comedy for 15 years. And I don't have a credit to my name.

• 38:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:01Bobby Lee?

  I'm still featuring or opening, you know what I mean? What would you say to this person?

• 38:06Speaker 05

  I don't think you'd have to. I think he knows he eats shit. He needs to probably get out of the business.

• 38:09Bobby Lee?

  See, that's the thing. Some people don't know.

• 38:11Speaker 05

  Well, he knows.

• 38:13Bobby Lee?

  No, because.

• 38:13Speaker 05

  He knows.

• 38:14Bobby Lee?

  No, I'll tell you, because I had this, I don't want to say.

• 38:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm still working, you know, Caroline's on Tuesdays.

• 38:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I used to have, I lived in an apartment building and I love this guy. I can't say his name because I don't want to be sad. But he used to come over to my apartment and go, because he was a stand-up, and he would go, listen. And I would tell him a joke and you would hear barely a laugh.

• 38:36Speaker 05

  Oh, well, he would tell you.

• 38:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he'd play me a set.

• 38:39Speaker 05

  Oh, play me.

• 38:40Bobby Lee?

  And he goes, I'm killing. And I would look at him and go, you're not. It's not good. Like, you could barely hear a laugh.

• 38:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'd just lie and say, that's great.

• 38:50Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 38:50Speaker 05

  No, I'm kidding.

• 38:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, because.

• 38:52Speaker 05

  No, no one, no comics ask me for any, anything, you know.

• 38:55Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 38:56Speaker 05

  Well, like that. I mean, I don't think they, I mean, I think Kill Tony was a good example because that, every comedy that came out was like, wow, Carrot Town, they were, they were, they were very nice to me.

• 39:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:06Speaker 05

  And, and there was one in particular that came out and I didn't mess with them, because I've been messed with my whole career, so I let them do, they only get a minute, right?

• 39:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:15Speaker 05

  So I didn't, I didn't give them grief. I just, at the very end, it was a. Short black guy and he came out and his first joke was the microphone. He takes the mic out and sticks and puts the stand back and starts going to his thing. So I'm automatically wrote out a note. And when he got done, he says, you know, Tony's immediately like, that fucking sucked.

• 39:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:34Speaker 05

  And, uh, and he said, you got something for him? I said, actually, I have a, it's not, it's not a criticism.

• 39:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:40Speaker 05

  It's more of just an idea, maybe. I think the crowd and I, and I said to the crowd, I think we all at the same time, right when you walked out, you're so small and you grabbed the mic out of the stand and you put the mic stand back. I thought you were gonna just say something like, this is already not going well.

• 39:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it's something.

• 39:57Speaker 05

  And he goes, oh, but see, that would be a prop. I said, uh, maybe.

• 40:02Speaker 05

  I said.

• 40:03Bobby Lee?

  Did that get a laugh?

• 40:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, I said, kudos to you. It is, it is, but it's a prop that's already there. You didn't bring it, but it's the prop everybody uses. So you don't have to do the whole thing and make it into a guitar, you know, use the prop. But if it's something just obvious, you wouldn't have to do it over and over. Like Louis Anderson would do that. He'd walk out the mic and he'd go, oh, my God, can you see me? I mean, but it was funny.

• 40:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:20Speaker 05

  Cause he's behind, you know, you can't see him behind the, can you see me behind the microphone?

• 40:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:24Speaker 05

  But it was, it was, it was instantly, you wanted that, you know? I thought the guy was gonna do that. Like he couldn't get it out and they'd say, all right, this is already not going well. So a guy walks in a bar, you know, anything, anything.

• 40:34Bobby Lee?

  I think it would have done well.

• 40:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I'm a whore. I'll do anything for a laugh.

• 40:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:41Bobby Lee?

  On stage, it's all about survival for me, baby. You know what I mean? I'll do all of that. You know what I mean? I'll like, you know what I mean? I have lines when the mic detaches from the, you know what I mean?

• 40:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:52Bobby Lee?

  The microphone, you know what I mean? Every scenario.

• 40:55Speaker 05

  It's good, you have to be.

• 40:57Bobby Lee?

  You have to survive.

• 40:58Speaker 05

  You have to, yeah.

• 40:58Bobby Lee?

  Yes, like Ramsey opened for me in Long Beach. His last bit, the mic came off and this is what he did. He went.

• 41:08Bobby Lee?

  Right? And, and to me, I was back, it was 3,000 people.

• 41:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:13Bobby Lee?

  And I was like. Do something, you know what I mean?

• 41:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:16Bobby Lee?

  And he just put the thing, and he struggled to do it too.

• 41:19Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah, and you hear that, you hear it, you hear it.

• 41:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:22Speaker 05

  Fucking, uh.

• 41:22Bobby Lee?

  It's the three prongs, you have to line them up sometimes.

• 41:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, uh.

• 41:26Bobby Lee?

  Right, and click, right, and he just put the mic back on the stage and walk off stage. And I was like, you have to have something there, right?

• 41:34Speaker 05

  Yes, indeed.

• 41:35Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 41:35Speaker 05

  You have to be prepared.

• 41:36Bobby Lee?

  You have to prepare for anything.

• 41:37Speaker 05

  Everything, anything. There would be a comedy club that we always play, we. I'd always play in Nashville, and the back wall had an outlet, but it didn't have a, it was a plate. There was no outlet, it was just an outlet with a plate cover, so I would always, I would walk up, it was as an, as an outlet for an Amish, fucking Amish. But it would kill every night.

• 41:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 41:57Speaker 05

  And the club owner's like, no one's ever mentioned that outlet. But you can't miss it, it's a fucking, it's a backdrop of the whole club.

• 42:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 42:04Speaker 05

  So, yeah, you always had to be prepared for something, anything, that's.

• 42:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, survive, it's about survival. Do you have little quips like that on stage now, or no?

• 42:11Speaker 05

  Hmm, like if that happened to me?

• 42:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 42:15Speaker 05

  I don't even sound like that, but like if that happened.

• 42:19Bobby Lee?

  You actually do.

• 42:23Speaker 05

  I don't know, maybe.

• 42:25Bobby Lee?

  If the, if the. The mic comes off, what do you do?

• 42:27Speaker 05

  Ooh, sheesh, ah, sure, yeah.

• 42:31Bobby Lee?

  Wait, they can't hear you because you haven't put the mic back in. So he'd just do that to himself? So everyone sees it.

• 42:38Speaker 05

  I'll yell it out. I don't know, it's never happened to me.

• 42:43Bobby Lee?

  That's never happened before?

• 42:44Speaker 05

  If the microphone goes out, you mean?

• 42:45Bobby Lee?

  No, if, oh, that, oh, that's another one.

• 42:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:48Bobby Lee?

  I was at, um, Stand Up Live, and, um, is it Stand Up Live? It was one, I don't know if it was that, but, but it was, the mic completely clicked out for like five minutes.

• 42:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:58Bobby Lee?

  What would you do?

• 43:00Speaker 05

  If the, if the mic clipped out, I would just, I don't know, do a little dance, or?

• 43:07Bobby Lee?

  Or do a five minute dance? Five minutes?

• 43:09Speaker 05

  It was a five minute?

• 43:10Bobby Lee?

  Imagine them dancing for five whole minutes. It should be, it should be fixed in a minute.

• 43:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:16Speaker 05

  What the fuck is that guy doing?

• 43:17Bobby Lee?

  I don't think you could dance for one minute.

• 43:19Speaker 05

  I could dance for two minutes.

• 43:20Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 43:20Speaker 05

  And slow dance, slow, slow dance.

• 43:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another thing that happened in Houston, were you in Houston?

• 43:25Speaker 05

  I was in Houston.

• 43:26Bobby Lee?

  Gilbert? Uh, no, but remember- Were you at the show when the guy fell down? So, in the middle of my show, a guy stood up and just passed out. He was like 350 pounds. Were you there? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and then I couldn't ignore it. Cause like, the whole section got up, and they're trying to help him up. This is like 30 minutes, right? And you have to figure it out.

• 43:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, cause it's so-

• 43:51Bobby Lee?

  I didn't even know, what did I do? Oh, I just stopped and went, "Hey man, are you okay?" Like being real, I'm gonna make a joke about it.

• 43:56Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, they bring in like medics and shit.

• 43:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:58Speaker 05

  You still have to sit there and go, "All right, we're just filming an ER."

• 44:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Has that happened to you?

• 44:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:04Speaker 05

  Happens all the time. And in Vegas, they just, they, and it's right in the front row, you're just like, "Oh, fuck."

• 44:08Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 44:09Speaker 05

  And they have medics and police and, yeah.

• 44:10Bobby Lee?

  Have you not been able to get him back?

• 44:12Speaker 05

  And we just play on something, we, my sound guy will play some kind of, you know, emergency song or something.

• 44:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right, right, right, right.

• 44:18Speaker 05

  And then I'll, I'll, I'll just, I don't know. Yeah, sometimes, but the microphone going out, one time I got lucky being the prop guy, is the mic went out and I had a megaphone for some other prop and I dug it out of the bottom of the thing. I said, "Where's my fucking megaphone?" And I pulled it out and I was like, "All right," and I did the rest, like five, 10 minutes with the megaphone.

• 44:36Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 44:36Speaker 05

  But luckily I had the goddamn-

• 44:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:38Speaker 05

  So by that, you know, the prop saved me.

• 44:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Yeah, it's, do you have, are you prepared for all those things?

• 44:43Speaker 05

  Bring a megaphone every show.

• 44:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, bring a megaphone. Yeah, yeah.

• 44:46Speaker 05

  Like, what the, just, in case.

• 44:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 44:49Speaker 05

  And a guitar.

• 44:50Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever had a situation where somebody climbed up on stage?

• 44:52Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 44:53Bobby Lee?

  What do you do?

• 44:55Speaker 05

  I, I, I, I do not, I just go, "Hi," you know.

• 44:59Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 45:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:00Bobby Lee?

  That's my opener for women.

• 45:01Speaker 05

  Well, this guy, yeah.

• 45:03Bobby Lee?

  Hi.

• 45:03Speaker 04

  Oh, hi. Hi. Hi.

• 45:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Wow.

• 45:06Speaker 05

  No, it happened, it happens a lot. They just come on stage and my security's like, "Mmmmm." So I'm, I'm, it could be 10 minutes.

• 45:13Bobby Lee?

  Is it him?

• 45:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:14Speaker 05

  I can, I can literally stand there and know everything about the person before they, they finally come out and drag him off.

• 45:19Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 45:20Speaker 05

  And they're always, they always are just like, "Oh my god, I love you, fuck, can I hug you?" I'm like, "Yeah."

• 45:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:24Speaker 05

  And then they're like, "Shit, man, I loved you forever," and I'm like, "Right on," so I'm a little busy right now.

• 45:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:29Speaker 05

  We can do this later, maybe.

• 45:30Bobby Lee?

  Why are you laughing?

• 45:33Speaker 04

  Huh?

• 45:34Speaker 05

  Oh my god.

• 45:36Speaker 04

  No, it's because he asked you if that was your security guard. And he does look like a security guard and he's like old and...

• 45:42Speaker 05

  He's old?

• 45:44Speaker 04

  What?

• 45:44Bobby Lee?

  Wait, what's that? He could crush your skull.

• 45:48Speaker 04

  Exactly, but...

• 45:49Bobby Lee?

  This man could with one hand just crush your skull.

• 45:51Speaker 05

  Is that your security guard? No.

• 45:53Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, I was making a joke.

• 45:55Speaker 04

  And that's funny. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

• 45:58Speaker 05

  I was at Vegas and speaking of having to crush your skull, but not knowing... I'm at this bar, really, honestly, like a nightclub, and they came over and they said, "Can Mike Tyson sit at your table?" And I was like, "Sure."

• 46:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:13Speaker 05

  So we had all these, you know, they do the liquor service in the bar. There's a bottle of Crown and vodka, whatever. And he sits down and this guy walks over and says, "Don't give him anything if he asks." Right? So I said, "Okay."

• 46:26Bobby Lee?

  So they got off.

• 46:26Speaker 05

  I'm not even, yeah, so I'm just sitting there and I, first thing he leans over, he says, "What are you drinking?" And I said, "Um, Crown." He goes, "Can you give me a Crown?" I said, "Oh, man, I was just told I'm not supposed to give you anything." He's like, "Well, I'm telling you to give me something." So I said, "But you're a guy." Fuck my guy, I'm gonna have the Crown. So I poured him Crown, I kinda like, like, put it back like it was mine.

• 46:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:49Speaker 05

  I did one behind the thing.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:51Speaker 05

  Just slick it, sneak it.

• 46:51Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 46:52Speaker 05

  And he like slammed it, put it down, and then he's, "I want another one." So I was like, "Dude."

• 46:57Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 46:58Speaker 05

  "I can't do many more because I think, you know, this is right after, he's in a lot of trouble."

• 47:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:03Speaker 05

  So I think I gave him two or three shots and finally I was like, "Dad." I said, "Mike, we gotta stop." And these, these kids come walking by right here, right in front of the table.

• 47:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:12Speaker 05

  And they're like, "Champ, what happened? You're a fat fuck." And I, I literally was like, he's like, he, he's, he moved as you would never imagine him move.

• 47:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can imagine.

• 47:24Speaker 05

  Over the bottle of bottles of the table.

• 47:26Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 47:26Speaker 05

  And I'm like holding on to his leg like, "Mike." And, and they, he finally, "I'm motherfucking not..." And I said to the kids, I said, this guy can literally kill you, like literally and would right now. He has no, he's not even allowed to have crown. He's gonna kill.

• 47:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:41Speaker 05

  And so people, they finally game over and I said, Mike, and the guy said, you give me, I said, I didn't give him anything. These kids though, who would do that, right?

• 47:48Bobby Lee?

  It's suicide.

• 47:49Speaker 05

  You don't know and say, hey, you, you, what happened champ, huh? You fucking fat, and like, they're dead. He just would have just killed him.

• 47:55Bobby Lee?

  You don't do that. Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal.

• 47:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, and Steven Seagal. You could outrun Steven Seagal.

• 48:01Bobby Lee?

  I was kidding. Yeah. Mike is.

• 48:04Speaker 05

  You don't do that. You don't do it.

• 48:05Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Hello.

• 48:07Speaker 05

  You don't do it to me?

• 48:10Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 48:10Bobby Lee?

  Mine's De Niro.

• 48:12Speaker 05

  It just felt like.

• 48:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. My fucking brother is De Niro.

• 48:18Speaker 05

  Yours is more De Niro. He's talking to me.

• 48:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, you know, he's such a nice guy, Mike.

• 48:23Speaker 05

  Oh, he's so.

• 48:24Bobby Lee?

  He's so sweet.

• 48:25Speaker 05

  Even after three shots, he was really, really nice. Yeah.

• 48:29Bobby Lee?

  I'll run into him every, once every five years, but he always says hi, a hug. He's just such a kind, kind-hearted guy. Yeah. But those kids are dumb.

• 48:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:40Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Like, why would you, I don't even, in your mind, this guy is a lethal weapon.

• 48:45Speaker 05

  Yeah. Well, they, I used to, Stallone would always tell stories about people wanting to beat him up in, in restaurants and bars. And just so they could say, I, I beat up Rocky. And he's like, I'm an actor. You know, like, I'm not really fucking Rocky.

• 48:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Who's the most.

• 48:58Speaker 05

  People want to beat me up just because I'm Carrot Top. They just want to beat me up for that.

• 49:01Bobby Lee?

  No, no, listen to me. Fuck off. Yeah. Did you, yeah, so I, I've always loved you.

• 49:06Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 49:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. And, um, um, who's the most famous person you've met?

• 49:12Speaker 05

  Oh, wow.

• 49:14Bobby Lee?

  Because I know Mike.

• 49:15Speaker 05

  I mean, I've met, um, yeah.

• 49:16Bobby Lee?

  Everybody. You've met everybody.

• 49:17Speaker 05

  I've met a lot of people.

• 49:18Bobby Lee?

  But what was, what was a meeting where you were like, I can't believe that?

• 49:21Speaker 07

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• 49:55Speaker 05

  Well, it was two. So one was Queen, the band Queen that came to my show and I was just, uh, I was just... The whole band? Yeah, I didn't know what to do. Freddie was there? Freddie was not there unfortunately. But that's what's up with Daryl.

• 50:08Speaker 05

  But Roger, it's true. Simon and Garfunkel came, but Simon wasn't there. Simon and Garfunkel, not even Garfunkel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The drummer, but the drummer that used to play in Spitfire.

• 50:19Speaker 05

  No, but, but that was a pretty cool royalty. Amazing. Ended up going to his house in England and having lunch at his house. Oh wow. Sounds like, and looking at his drums that have, you know, this is from every, you know, concert, the one, the one to Feed America, whatever it was, Live Aid. Yeah. Amazing. The only one, the big star. Isn't that what Freddie got? Shocked, yeah.

• 50:43Speaker 05

  We gotta keep that in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh man. Okay, sorry. So they were, uh... That's great. The, uh... Yeah. I was in Aspen, walking down the little teeny town of Aspen and it was like seven in the morning, it was like dusk. And I had gone to a gym to work out because we all wanted to go skiing, so I said, "I'm gonna go early," it's a little gym. So I go, I'm walking and there's no one on the streets, I just see this guy coming at me. Let me guess, let me guess, let me guess. Danny DeVito. Nice. Okay. Close. And he says, "Topper!" And I was like, "Oh my god," I didn't know what to do, right? It's Jack Nicholson. Whoa. But I'm like, I don't know, he says, "Topper!" And I just like, I was like, "Jack!"

• 51:26Speaker 05

  And he says, "Uh, what the fuck are you doing out here now?" I said, "Of course you went to a gym. Look at you, you're not even sweating." I just walked from that fucking, see that building right there? I just walked from there, I'm fucking sweating because I'm an old fuck, fucker. He kept saying he's old, kept saying it old. Then he finally says, "I mean, this is kinda cool, you're a comic," he said,

• 51:44Speaker 05

  "You're so goddamn good, that fuck, that Jay Leno can fuck himself." And I said, "No, no, no, Jay's like, one of my biggest fans." Jay books me on this show like... Every week I do Jay. He goes, no, no, no, no, but he never lets you talk. He always makes you do your shit. And then he's like, thanks, Karen. He never lets you tell a story. Fuck him. And I just thought that was interesting because he would notice that. Cause I would always beg for that with Jay. I said, when I get done with the set, can I sit over and tell a story about my dad or something? Or growing up in comedy? No, no.

• 52:16Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 52:17Speaker 05

  But it was a great, yeah. And he was so cool.

• 52:20Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 52:21Speaker 05

  I just thought this is, and it's before we had cell phones. You couldn't call like, I'm talking to Jack.

• 52:25Bobby Lee?

  I mean, just even the thought that he knew your act and knew who you were.

• 52:28Speaker 05

  No, I, literally.

• 52:30Bobby Lee?

  I mean, it would be like, how does he know?

• 52:32Speaker 05

  No, and he knew that tonight, he'd say, I watched that shit and he knew it, you know?

• 52:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Any famous person I know, they don't know who I am.

• 52:38Speaker 05

  Nice.

• 52:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, ever. They're like, you want an autograph or a photo? And I go, no, I'm in the movie with you.

• 52:46Bobby Lee?

  We're doing a scene right now.

• 52:51Bobby Lee?

  I mean, it's like they don't know who the fuck. There have been times where the next day I have a scene with them and they still don't. I'm not kidding you.

• 52:58Speaker 05

  That's great.

• 52:58Bobby Lee?

  Like, um, are you here? I go, no, remember yesterday, that scene? Right where I came in, we had, oh yeah, she goes, oh.

• 53:06Speaker 05

  That's great.

• 53:06Bobby Lee?

  No, it's not.

• 53:07Speaker 05

  No, I mean, great is.

• 53:08Bobby Lee?

  You go to your hotel room.

• 53:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, fuck.

• 53:11Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean?

• 53:11Speaker 05

  It happens, I think, yeah. But I, I, I did a movie with Betty White and it's pretty big, right? I walk into the, she was on the Tonight Show. I was on there and I walked back to the, uh, the makeup area and I said, I don't want to bother, you know? So I said, Betty, I don't want to bother you, but I just wanted to say hi. And she goes, oh, hi. And I said, you, you remember that movie we did together? And she says, we were in a movie together? And I said, yeah. And she said, oh, that must've not gone well.

• 53:38Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow.

• 53:39Speaker 05

  I said, no, it was Dennis the Menace. It did great. Remember Don Rickles is in it? And she's like, I've never been in a movie with Don Rickles.

• 53:45Bobby Lee?

  Oh, was she 99 then?

• 53:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, no, yes.

• 53:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh, she was old?

• 53:51Speaker 05

  She said, I don't, I wasn't ever in a movie with Don Rickles. So like, yeah, yeah, we, yeah, you, we were, we both were.

• 53:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So when I did Sex and the City, the five episode, did I, we were on set and she kept going, can you get me this? I was like, uh, right? And then she's like, are you here? Or makeup? I go, no, no, no. She thought I was just help.

• 54:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:16Bobby Lee?

  Like, every, like, craft service.

• 54:18Speaker 05

  Right.

• 54:19Bobby Lee?

  Everything.

• 54:19Speaker 05

  Can you fill up the jelly beans?

• 54:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but then, then finally, we were in, like, we, you know, you, they, they were blocking, blocking, right? And I'm having lines with her, and she's like, "You're an actor?"

• 54:33Bobby Lee?

  And I go, "Yeah," because I guess she's never seen a fat, back then I was so fat, like, a fat, big-headed Korean dude. You know what I mean?

• 54:41Speaker 05

  She, "But you make such great coffee, I can't believe you're an actor."

• 54:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. But, you know, that was, it was, it was, um...

• 54:47Speaker 05

  What was her name? Yeah.

• 54:48Bobby Lee?

  Candace Bergen.

• 54:48Speaker 05

  Candace Bergman, yeah.

• 54:50Bobby Lee?

  How do you remember?

• 54:51Speaker 00

  She just looked up old people on IMDb on...

• 54:53Bobby Lee?

  I know, but, dude, I, I just...

• 54:55Speaker 05

  See, they...

• 54:55Bobby Lee?

  I gave no hints!

• 54:57Speaker 00

  You said a woman.

• 54:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 54:59Speaker 05

  Look at that, you got a good staff, look at that.

• 55:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:01Bobby Lee?

  Wow! She had no idea Candace Bergen. She was super nice, though.

• 55:05Speaker 05

  I, speaking of assistants, my, my other assistant, but yours is a judge, uh...

• 55:09Bobby Lee?

  That's your assistant?

• 55:09Speaker 05

  Not my assistant, no, that's my friend, that's my friend Laz. That's actually a homeless guy, I don't know who...

• 55:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, how do, how do you know? Wait, how do you know Laz?

• 55:16Speaker 05

  Laz and I have known each other about thirty-five years, just living out here. Laz is a good, dear friend.

• 55:21Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 55:22Speaker 05

  My friend, you don't even know this guy, he was a comic, and we went to get to Bill Mar- Bill Maher's house. I don't know, name dropping, but this is great, because she brought up Candace Bergen.

• 55:28Bobby Lee?

  I bet you his house is good, thank you.

• 55:29Speaker 05

  So, we're doing a, but, but, you know, how am I getting invited to Bill Maher's? He's like, "Yeah, come to..." "Come to Bill Maher's, uh, my house for a birthday," but, and I get there, everybody is there, I mean, it's like...

• 55:38Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I can't imagine.

• 55:39Speaker 05

  You know, I mean, everybody. And I'm like, just blown away at Dennis Miller, da-da-da. And my friend, my friend who's a comic is with me, and we finally, we're gonna leave, and he says, "No, no, you know, Jay's coming." I said, "Oh, fuck, I'll say hi to Jay."

• 55:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:49Speaker 05

  He's, yeah, he's like, "Feed you..." Now, now I'm doing Bill Maher doing Jay. It's like five minutes from Miami, like, I'm like, "Oh, oh, oh."

• 55:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:54Speaker 05

  So, me, we walk down the, that long driveway, all the way down, we're leaving, and here comes Jay, walking up the hill, and...

• 56:03Speaker 05

  Florence Henderson is stands and she says, oh my God, hi. And she's talking to Jay and then she goes, oh my God, hey, Carrot Top, she loves me. And she hands her wine to my friend Jay. She goes, I'm done with this. Thank you.

• 56:15Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 56:15Speaker 05

  So it was the same kind of thing. And I was like, oh, no, he's.

• 56:18Bobby Lee?

  Well, she, how is it possible?

• 56:21Speaker 05

  Oh, I love you. How you been? I'm done. Thank you. That's.

• 56:23Bobby Lee?

  How did, she didn't know who Jay Leno was?

• 56:25Speaker 05

  No, no, she knew Jay. She gave it to my friend.

• 56:27Bobby Lee?

  Oh, your friend?

• 56:28Speaker 05

  My friends, they stand there.

• 56:29Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I was like, what the fuck is going on?

• 56:30Speaker 05

  Have you been, Carrot Top? I'm done with this. Thank you.

• 56:32Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 56:32Speaker 05

  To this day, I still say, yeah, can you just hold this? I'm done.

• 56:35Bobby Lee?

  Funny.

• 56:35Speaker 05

  It's just like, I'm not, I'm not a.

• 56:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:38Speaker 05

  I'm here for the party too. Like you said, I'm here for the party.

• 56:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Wow. Is your friend, he wasn't a celebrity or anything like that?

• 56:44Speaker 05

  No.

• 56:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, how come you don't, you have children?

• 56:48Speaker 05

  No.

• 56:48Bobby Lee?

  Nice.

• 56:49Speaker 05

  They're in here.

• 56:50Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. Let's talk about a little bit of your personal.

• 56:53Speaker 05

  Talk about you, let's talk about me.

• 56:57Bobby Lee?

  No. Can I, so were you ever engaged?

• 57:00Speaker 05

  I've ever been engaged.

• 57:01Bobby Lee?

  Engaged?

• 57:01Speaker 05

  No.

• 57:02Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 57:03Speaker 05

  Oh, no.

• 57:04Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever been close?

• 57:05Speaker 05

  No. I am close now.

• 57:06Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right now you're seeing somebody that's.

• 57:11Speaker 05

  No, I'm close.

• 57:12Bobby Lee?

  So.

• 57:12Speaker 05

  No, no, no. I never got, I've had relationships up for like eight or nine years and then it's the weird number. It's like eight, nine years and they want to get married and they want to have a baby and they want to move on.

• 57:21Bobby Lee?

  And then you get scared?

• 57:22Speaker 05

  No, I just tell them, I tell them from day one that I don't. And then they hang out because I just don't, you know, I, I, I don't know. I've just been that guy.

• 57:30Bobby Lee?

  But even now, you, I mean, you don't want an heir?

• 57:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:34Bobby Lee?

  Where's your money gonna go when you die?

• 57:37Speaker 05

  To Las.

• 57:39Bobby Lee?

  Las, fuck yeah. Nice work, Las. Yeah, 30 year commitment. I love it. You know what I mean? So you've never had, wanted a family or anything like that?

• 57:45Speaker 05

  No, you kind of, I mean, it's, you kind of do, you know.

• 57:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:49Speaker 05

  And my, I have, my ex-girlfriend actually has a five-year-old now, six, she's coming on six. That's basically my, my, my kid in a sense. So I, I almost see her every day.

• 57:57Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 57:57Speaker 05

  Take her to lunch, teach her manners and do, you know, what father would do.

• 58:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 58:02Speaker 05

  How to load a gun, you know.

• 58:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Cause I'm, I'm 53 now and I've been really thinking about it.

• 58:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm 60. So it's like, yes, I'd be like Letterman, you gotta, you gotta shoot that thing out for soon.

• 58:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Cause Steve Martin had one late.

• 58:17Speaker 05

  Did he?

• 58:17Bobby Lee?

  Couple, yeah.

• 58:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Um, you see, you've never sat there and like, oh my God, um.

• 58:23Speaker 05

  Not in that voice. No.

• 58:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:26Speaker 05

  Oh my God, I wish I had kids right now. It's like Roseanne, I wish I had a kid right now. What would you do if you had a kid carrying on?

• 58:35Bobby Lee?

  Do you like her? I love her.

• 58:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, Roseanne?

• 58:37Bobby Lee?

  Roseanne Barr?

• 58:38Speaker 05

  Yeah. You don't like Roseanne?

• 58:39Bobby Lee?

  I love her.

• 58:40Speaker 05

  Oh, no, I thought I loved Roseanne, yeah.

• 58:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, because I-

• 58:43Speaker 05

  No, I love her.

• 58:44Bobby Lee?

  Here's what I say about her, right? A lot of people don't like her.

• 58:47Speaker 05

  Oh, I love her.

• 58:48Bobby Lee?

  I love her too, but if you know her personally, right? She's so kind.

• 58:54Speaker 05

  Oh, absolutely.

• 58:55Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean?

• 58:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:56Bobby Lee?

  She'll go out of her way to say hi. She'll say only good things, like if there's people around, oh, this guy, you know what I mean?

• 59:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:03Bobby Lee?

  It's so great. But then you hear, you know what I mean, go online, or you know what I mean, you run into people that are you know what I mean, and um, it's liberal for me.

• 59:14Speaker 05

  They're a little, they're a little eh eh.

• 59:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm liberal. I'm a Kamala guy.

• 59:20Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 59:20Bobby Lee?

  You know?

• 59:21Speaker 05

  I never heard, who's that?

• 59:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. But like, but you know Dave-

• 59:25Speaker 05

  You said camo, we are camo.

• 59:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:28Speaker 05

  We're a camo guy.

• 59:28Bobby Lee?

  But it's like, people say fucking crazy things, it's like, dude, you don't know her.

• 59:32Speaker 05

  No, that's true, it's like with anything though, isn't it? I mean, honestly, you meet people and, not even celebrities, right? You meet people in general and you hear horror stories and you meet them, you're like, oh, they're such a nice, that's such a nice guy.

• 59:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I've done movies where, and stuff, or TV thing where a guest starred in something. And my agents will even go, you know, be careful with this one. And I'm like, uh, why?

• 59:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:54Bobby Lee?

  Well, they got a bad rep or this or that, and then you show up and it's like the opposite.

• 59:58Speaker 05

  Right, they're great.

• 59:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. It's just all rumors and people, it's just like, um, so now I just don't listen to people, I just go, I'll see.

• 1:00:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:07Bobby Lee?

  Like you.

• 1:00:08Speaker 05

  People say shit about me every day, it's the cra- it's the craziest thing.

• 1:00:11Bobby Lee?

  What do they say?

• 1:00:12Speaker 05

  I put it in the show.

• 1:00:13Bobby Lee?

  What do they, what do they say?

• 1:00:14Speaker 05

  Well, everything from, you know, uh, I have a wig on or something, I always, wouldn't I pick a better wig if I was gonna pick a fucking wig first?

• 1:00:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:21Speaker 05

  Um, you know, facelift, would I not look better if I had a facelift?

• 1:00:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:25Speaker 05

  You're just pissed I'm 60.

• 1:00:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:26Speaker 05

  Um, and only in LA can you go to a gym and someone's like, eh, implants? Yeah, I have calf implants, like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

• 1:00:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:34Speaker 05

  It's only in LA, no one would walk up to someone in Nebraska, oh, so implants?

• 1:00:38Bobby Lee?

  People see that, they'll walk up to you and say it?

• 1:00:40Speaker 05

  Yeah. I mean, when I lived in LA and I'd go to the gym, they'd say, man, they're nice, and I don't have nice legs, you know, I, I mean, I have okay legs. But I mean, like a-

• 1:00:48Bobby Lee?

  For a redhead?

• 1:00:48Speaker 05

  For a redhead, but my arms is saying like-

• 1:00:51Bobby Lee?

  You saw Santino, his legs are fucking terrible.

• 1:00:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, they are.

• 1:00:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:54Speaker 05

  I did see them. I was, but no people make up shit all the time. Yeah. And of course, that's why I don't really use it, or going back to digress to the reading comments. There's no need to, I already, I already, you post something, I can already see what they're gonna say. And usually it's dumb things, like my, my agent will read me something, say, "Did you see the response?" I said, "No, I don't read that." Who's your agent? And he'll read one back and he'll say- What agency? And they read back, CIA, so they read back and they'll say things like, you know, just incredible, they didn't even get the joke, like, something. Yeah. They didn't get the joke. Yeah. We did one, it was clever done, we had the whole, I did a joke, I said, "You know, being in politics, that's a tough room when you play like the, the thing, right? Cause you, you one side of the room fucking loves you and the other side of the room hates your guts, right? It was right when they did the State of the Union.

• 1:01:39Speaker 05

  So I said, "Could you imagine that? That would never work." And imagine being a comic and you're up on the stage, like, and I did this joke, and I had planned it so that this whole half of the crowd stood up and this half stayed down. Wow. And it was so funny looking and it brilliantly done and I was like, I said, "All right, that was weird." Like, how would just half the crowd not get it? Yeah. And almost all the comments were like, "I don't get it," or "I didn't get it," cause they don't follow the, they didn't get the, I even said "State of the fucking Union." Right, right, right, right. If I was, imagine me, me playing in this state building as a comic, it would never, you know, and people still didn't, "Why did the half of the crowd not get the joke? It was a good joke." Yeah. I'm like, "No, it wa-" What was the joke? Yeah, I don't remember where the joke was. What?

• 1:02:20Speaker 05

  They said the joke was good, but you know, I, I don't know, I said something like, you know, trying to think of what it was, something about, about Calif- actually it was a California thing. Yeah. God dang, what is it now? It's okay, you don't have to. But it was, it was a good, it was a good solid just stand-up joke and then, you know, elevators. "Oh, he's smoking," I said, "you can't smoke in, people smoke in Vegas, dah dah dah." "You can't, you can't smoke in Calif- California, even in a fire or something." And elevators, you can smoke, and so, and they all, "Ah," and that whole crowd's, and then this, this, and that was the best responses. Wow. Ninety percent of them were like, "That was a good joke, why didn't the other half laugh?" I'm like, "Ah, never mind, just stop following me." Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Please don't be a fan. Yeah.

• 1:03:04Speaker 04

  Can I just say something?

• 1:03:05Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:03:06Speaker 04

  Oh, Jesus. My bad.

• 1:03:09Bobby Lee?

  I mean, make it good, though.

• 1:03:11Speaker 04

  So people tell me things about you, so like, but if they get to know Bobby, he's a nice guy.

• 1:03:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:18Speaker 00

  So what you're saying is, people say what?

• 1:03:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, now you're saying, now we're just gonna say, well, what are they saying? What are they saying?

• 1:03:26Bobby Lee?

  I don't even wanna know. That was...

• 1:03:29Speaker 04

  You said that like Rosie, like, people...

• 1:03:31Bobby Lee?

  That was the most depressing...

• 1:03:34Speaker 04

  It's like, when I go out, people always give me shit about you, but they love...

• 1:03:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:40Speaker 04

  If they get to know you, Bobby, they love you. I love you, Bobby.

• 1:03:45Speaker 06

  Despite everything.

• 1:03:47Speaker 00

  Despite all the stuff people keep telling him.

• 1:03:49Speaker 04

  People tell me things, man.

• 1:03:51Bobby Lee?

  What I'm saying is that, so what you're saying to me is that when you go out into the world, people hate me, and then you're my defender?

• 1:03:58Speaker 00

  He's your defender.

• 1:03:59Bobby Lee?

  You're my knight in shining armor out there?

• 1:04:01Speaker 04

  You said about Rosie, you know, despite...

• 1:04:03Bobby Lee?

  Who's Rosie?

• 1:04:04Speaker 00

  Roseanne.

• 1:04:04Speaker 04

  I mean, Roseanne.

• 1:04:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you don't know her, call her Rosie, dude.

• 1:04:09Speaker 04

  That's insane, dude.

• 1:04:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:11Speaker 04

  Roseanne.

• 1:04:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:12Speaker 04

  Despite everything.

• 1:04:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:14Speaker 04

  She's a good lady.

• 1:04:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So people go out there, is there a lot of people?

• 1:04:18Speaker 04

  Not like, I was like, one or two guys that tell me, like, "Hey, Bobby..."

• 1:04:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:25Speaker 04

  You know? And then I'm like, "Ah, he's a good guy."

• 1:04:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, okay. Yeah, this is the last podcast you do with me. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm kidding. No, don't be sad. We love you. Oh, let's move on.

• 1:04:40Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:04:40Bobby Lee?

  All right, Scott.

• 1:04:41Speaker 04

  Can I ask him a question? Yeah.

• 1:04:45Speaker 04

  Okay, sorry about...

• 1:04:46Bobby Lee?

  Just do it.

• 1:04:48Speaker 04

  So like, like, in the early 2000s, like, whenever, like, Family Guy did that riff on you, did you like that? Or, you like, yeah?

• 1:04:59Speaker 05

  It's a good, uh, it's a good question.

• 1:05:00Bobby Lee?

  It's not a really good question.

• 1:05:01Speaker 05

  No, it is a good question.

• 1:05:02Bobby Lee?

  It's a little confrontational.

• 1:05:03Speaker 05

  No, actually, no.

• 1:05:04Bobby Lee?

  It's a confrontation.

• 1:05:05Speaker 05

  It was interesting, because they called me and they said, "We wanna do this episode with you on Family Guy. Would you like to do the voice for it?" And I said, "Of course, why would I have someone else do my voice?"

• 1:05:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:14Speaker 05

  So it's gotta be me.

• 1:05:15Bobby Lee?

  So you did it.

• 1:05:15Speaker 05

  So I, oh, there you go, so yeah, I did the voice. But here's the, here's the part that, interesting for your question. So they sent me the script, and it's funny, I'm in this big castle, and I'm... It's funny, up until I do this, this thing, I pull out a pair of glasses with a saw in it.

• 1:05:33Speaker 05

  And I was like, it's so bad, like I, I, I said, I don't want to do it. And they said, but it's really funny. And I said, no, it's really not like it's, you know, a seesaw. And it's like, what the fuck?

• 1:05:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:44Speaker 05

  And that's, I even, I look, seesaw, get it? And, and, and I said, I, I'll, can we do anything else? And of course, McFarlane calls me and says, dude, first of all, everyone loves the line. Secondly, you know, we've already made the animations. I'm like, that's fucking lie. You just did that on purpose. So I'd say, there it is, seesaw. Look, it's a seesaw.

• 1:06:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:03Speaker 05

  And people still this day say, ah, ah, it's fucking seesaw. You're brilliant. So I was so mad. I'm like, I hate this fucking thing. And then I go through the airports, we were like, fucking seesaw. I'm like, okay, he was right. You know, people, people still yell seesaw.

• 1:06:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yes. I mean, yeah, sometimes you, you know, if they're that adamant, Seth's calling you.

• 1:06:21Speaker 05

  Yeah. And, and you know, I considered the source. I'm like, you know, it's Seth McFarlane. He's, he knows, but I just didn't like the prop for myself. It was just, but it was fun doing it.

• 1:06:30Bobby Lee?

  I don't even get the joke.

• 1:06:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:06:33Bobby Lee?

  What does that mean?

• 1:06:33Speaker 05

  That's good.

• 1:06:34Speaker 06

  It's making fun of other prop comics.

• 1:06:35Speaker 05

  It's like a, right. It's a, it's a carrot topic. Right. Right. I do more inventions kind of thing instead of like a mousetrap for gay mice. It's a mousetrap on a mirror ball so you can catch gay mice.

• 1:06:51Bobby Lee?

  It's hilarious.

• 1:06:52Speaker 05

  I think I might've pitched that instead. And he was like, that's brilliant, but we already made the animation. I said, oh no, we can do another one. I have thousands of props. It might've been more. But he wanted to be that, what you're saying, a play on prop comics. And he wanted to make me look stupid.

• 1:07:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:07Speaker 05

  That's, initially, that's what it wanted to be.

• 1:07:10Bobby Lee?

  They say that you, they already did the animation. Now, when you into the, went into the booth, right? Did they have it on animation or did they make you do what? Wild?

• 1:07:20Speaker 05

  I don't remember. I think we just did it while. And I'm saying, that's what I said. No, I knew going into, they lied.

• 1:07:24Bobby Lee?

  Cause they would, they would have, cause if they already done it, right?

• 1:07:27Speaker 05

  Then you have to do the beep beep.

• 1:07:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, beep beep. And all that stuff, right?

• 1:07:30Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 1:07:31Bobby Lee?

  So fucking liar, Seth! Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:34Speaker 05

  But he, but it was grateful for them to put me on it.

• 1:07:37Bobby Lee?

  Of course.

• 1:07:37Speaker 05

  People to this day, they are still saying, hey, you're doing stuff. Yeah, it was great. So.

• 1:07:41Bobby Lee?

  I get so grateful when I get so, I'll walk up to the showrunner or something and go, thank you so much for this.

• 1:07:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:47Bobby Lee?

  I get still excited. You get excited still?

• 1:07:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:07:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I can't believe it. You know what I mean? It's, it's so cool. It's like, I'm in a playground and, and I'm doing something that I never thought I would be able to achieve. When you see redheaded people, do you get excited? Like I, when I see Koreans, I get a little excited.

• 1:08:04Speaker 05

  Do you?

• 1:08:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I go, I go, "Oh, you're so, you're so."

• 1:08:08Speaker 05

  "So sad."

• 1:08:09Bobby Lee?

  Right, and then we'll hug each other. Yeah, "Oh, chama neo, chama neo," you know what I mean?

• 1:08:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, when I see white people, it's like, "Hey."

• 1:08:15Speaker 05

  Hey.

• 1:08:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:17Speaker 05

  Well, people try to hook me up with other redheads. I always think that's funny. They'll say, "I have this really hot friend. She's really cute." And I said, "Oh, and she has red hair too, so it's perfect." I'm like, "What, you gotta breed?"

• 1:08:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:26Speaker 05

  I don't need to fuck another red, most redheads don't really.

• 1:08:29Bobby Lee?

  But when you and Santino met.

• 1:08:30Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:08:31Bobby Lee?

  Was there an extra, like, bond?

• 1:08:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, we did have a little redhead bond.

• 1:08:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:36Speaker 05

  And he was very, very nice.

• 1:08:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:37Speaker 05

  Horrible legs, though, you're right.

• 1:08:39Bobby Lee?

  He has terrible legs, yeah. And he plays golf. It's fucking crazy. But like.

• 1:08:43Speaker 05

  Redheads and sun, they shouldn't be, yeah.

• 1:08:45Bobby Lee?

  You know that TikTok that happened a month ago saying that redheads were black people?

• 1:08:49Speaker 05

  I have a great bit in the show about that.

• 1:08:51Bobby Lee?

  All right, so, um.

• 1:08:53Speaker 05

  Do you feel black? My cock does, yeah.

• 1:08:59Speaker 05

  I've always said that, years ago. I'm telling you, seriously, ten, twenty years ago when I was doing comedy, I used to do a line where I'd say, um, something about having a big, black cock.

• 1:09:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:08Speaker 05

  And my, only my crew remembers this, when that TikTok came out. They're like, it was almost like, "What the..." Because I, and it would always be a joke, and then I'd say, "Why do I have a big..." Now I've gone back to the old bit.

• 1:09:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:19Speaker 05

  But now I show it on the show.

• 1:09:22Bobby Lee?

  Your penis?

• 1:09:23Speaker 05

  No, the clip of the TikTok. If you're red-haired and you're a man, you have, you're a black man. And I just, I just pause and look at the crowd, and I, then I look in my pants like that, and I go, "All right." And then everybody laughs, and I said, "I, for years, I've asked that question. I might, little, I was a kid."

• 1:09:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:39Speaker 05

  I say, "Why do I, mommy, why do I have a big, black dick?" And she says, "You're blessed." And I'd say, "Oh, kids are asking."

• 1:09:45Bobby Lee?

  Wait, have you, have you seen his penis?

• 1:09:48Speaker 05

  No, he probably, yes.

• 1:09:49Bobby Lee?

  No, no, but look at me right now. Have you seen Scott's penis?

• 1:09:52Speaker 05

  Backstage, probably.

• 1:09:53Bobby Lee?

  You have?

• 1:09:53Speaker 05

  That backstage.

• 1:09:54Bobby Lee?

  Is it girthy?

• 1:09:55Speaker 05

  Oh, very girthy.

• 1:09:58Bobby Lee?

  It's awesome.

• 1:09:58Speaker 05

  It's awesome.

• 1:09:59Bobby Lee?

  I already imagined it is.

• 1:10:00Speaker 05

  I have a very girthy dick.

• 1:10:02Bobby Lee?

  Okay dude.

• 1:10:03Speaker 05

  It's, redheads have big, big, you know.

• 1:10:06Bobby Lee?

  So you think Andrew has one?

• 1:10:07Speaker 05

  No, he doesn't though, no.

• 1:10:10Speaker 05

  You know how you can tell?

• 1:10:11Bobby Lee?

  I don't think so.

• 1:10:11Speaker 05

  You know I can tell with like another Korean like nah, nah, I can tell another redhead.

• 1:10:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:15Speaker 05

  Some redheads, I just look at them, I can tell.

• 1:10:17Bobby Lee?

  I don't like his butthole either.

• 1:10:18Speaker 05

  No, not that much.

• 1:10:19Bobby Lee?

  No, no, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because the cheeks are white, pale white like Cape Lanchets, right?

• 1:10:28Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:10:29Bobby Lee?

  But when you get more toward the whole area, it turns redder. It's more pinker around the whole area.

• 1:10:36Speaker 05

  How close have you gotten?

• 1:10:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, how close? Oh, I've seen the, I've seen like the fallopian tubes.

• 1:10:39Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:10:40Bobby Lee?

  If he has them.

• 1:10:41Speaker 05

  Only because you were like, it was surgery, right? You were helping him.

• 1:10:43Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no. I was just like, what's going on?

• 1:10:45Speaker 05

  Jesus.

• 1:10:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

• 1:10:47Speaker 05

  I do this to all my friends. I just want to see your ass.

• 1:10:49Bobby Lee?

  He's my best friend!

• 1:10:51Speaker 05

  Love that you're best friend.

• 1:10:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:52Speaker 05

  Then it's okay.

• 1:10:53Bobby Lee?

  Thirty years, he's seen your girth.

• 1:10:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, but backstage, you know, I just walk around naked because, you know, I don't care.

• 1:10:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's your backstage, dude.

• 1:10:59Speaker 05

  People always say, "Put on some pants." I'm fucking not putting on pants.

• 1:11:02Bobby Lee?

  Well, you're blessed with talent and that, that's not fair.

• 1:11:05Speaker 05

  Red hair and a big dick.

• 1:11:08Speaker 05

  And blue eyes, very, very special.

• 1:11:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you do have blue eyes?

• 1:11:11Speaker 05

  It's a rarity.

• 1:11:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:12Speaker 05

  Very rare.

• 1:11:13Bobby Lee?

  Is your, can we talk about your eyeliner real quick?

• 1:11:15Speaker 05

  My island?

• 1:11:16Bobby Lee?

  Eyeliner.

• 1:11:17Speaker 05

  Oh, I think it's island.

• 1:11:18Bobby Lee?

  Because I used to do it too, eyeliner. Is it tattooed on?

• 1:11:21Speaker 05

  No, it's just, I, no.

• 1:11:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because my mom got it tattooed.

• 1:11:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, on.

• 1:11:25Speaker 05

  No, I, yeah, I just pu, I just put it on.

• 1:11:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I like it too.

• 1:11:29Speaker 05

  Well, I got in show business, I mean.

• 1:11:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:31Speaker 05

  Now, my nephew said that one day at a mall, it was pretty funny. They're about eight years old, about ten years old shits, and I took him to get pizza.

• 1:11:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:37Speaker 05

  And his kids were all, his friends were all looking at me, and one of his friends says, "Why does your uncle wear makeup?" And my nephew says, "He's in show business." And I just never, I thought it was so fucking genius. I said, "Yeah."

• 1:11:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, just, yeah.

• 1:11:49Speaker 05

  "Why does he wear women's panties?" "I'm in show business, we've talked."

• 1:11:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:53Speaker 05

  Jesus.

• 1:11:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what?

• 1:11:55Speaker 05

  You're allowed to do anything. Showbiz, you get to do anything. It's all right in showbiz. He killed a guy, he killed, he's in showbiz.

• 1:12:01Bobby Lee?

  I think you and I are the same type of comic.

• 1:12:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:12:07Bobby Lee?

  He said it like.

• 1:12:07Speaker 05

  Disturbed, disturbed, just depressed.

• 1:12:10Bobby Lee?

  Why would you say it like that? I'm trying to bond with you, like, yeah?

• 1:12:13Speaker 05

  No, I feel, I feel like we have a, well, you walked up to meet me outside, it was very, uh, very warm, nice right away, like we had known each other for years.

• 1:12:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm just, yeah, because it's like, I've always wanted to meet you and it's like, I think that's the proper way to greet somebody like you.

• 1:12:28Speaker 05

  No, it's very, could you go to send one of these guys out to you?

• 1:12:30Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, I don't do that because it's like, um, it's like, you know, when, it's like Rob, like, I've done podcasts with Rob Lowe or whatever, and he'll greet me, you know what I mean? It's just a kind thing. Some people I don't greet. Yeah. Because I don't know and I don't care. Like he'll book somebody.

• 1:12:48Speaker 05

  Now you gotta roll back and see some of the former episodes of who he picked was that he did.

• 1:12:52Bobby Lee?

  If we met you outside, we still like. No, no, no, here's the thing, no, here's the thing.

• 1:12:56Speaker 05

  We'll be out in a minute.

• 1:12:57Bobby Lee?

  Sometimes he'll book somebody, I'm like, I'm not aware of their work.

• 1:13:01Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:13:02Bobby Lee?

  But, but then once I meet them, we do this podcast, then I go, I feel guilty because I'm like, this guy's great, you know? So every guest we've had is great and you've, you know what I mean, and I'm so grateful for it, right? But it's like, um, well, you know what today's episode is? I'm digging myself. I was gonna say, yeah, we're all like, why are you doing this? Yeah, yeah, I'm digging myself little holes.

• 1:13:25Speaker 05

  He had, yeah, he's had a few, hadn't he?

• 1:13:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, these are little holes I'm trying to dig out of. I know that you have a flight to take, um, you're going back to Vegas.

• 1:13:32Speaker 05

  Florida.

• 1:13:33Bobby Lee?

  To do gigs?

• 1:13:34Speaker 05

  No, just to vacation.

• 1:13:35Bobby Lee?

  You live there?

• 1:13:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:36Bobby Lee?

  In Florida? Well, I thought you lived in Vegas.

• 1:13:39Speaker 05

  I live in both.

• 1:13:40Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:13:40Speaker 05

  I go back from Florida to Vegas every like a week, a week, a month.

• 1:13:44Bobby Lee?

  So, so you have a, um, what do you have in, um, Vegas, a condo or a house?

• 1:13:49Speaker 05

  I have a house.

• 1:13:49Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Excuse me, sorry.

• 1:13:51Speaker 05

  I'm a house.

• 1:13:52Bobby Lee?

  And in Florida, where do you li- I mean, in general?

• 1:13:54Speaker 05

  Way bigger house, way bigger house.

• 1:13:56Bobby Lee?

  Way bigger house, way bigger house.

• 1:13:58Speaker 05

  On the water, baby. On the water or whatever.

• 1:14:00Bobby Lee?

  So you, and then you live in either south or north Florida?

• 1:14:04Speaker 05

  I live in, uh, central Orlando.

• 1:14:05Bobby Lee?

  Orlando?

• 1:14:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:14:06Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:14:07Speaker 05

  Winter Park, yeah, it's beautiful.

• 1:14:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, really nice.

• 1:14:09Speaker 05

  All lakes, the water just covers their whole.

• 1:14:11Bobby Lee?

  It's just beautiful, a lot of trees and.

• 1:14:13Speaker 05

  Absolutely gorgeous, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:15Bobby Lee?

  So you live there, so you spend half your time there or half your time?

• 1:14:17Speaker 05

  No, most of the time Vegas, I only get ten, twelve weeks off a year.

• 1:14:21Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:14:21Speaker 05

  So I do, I do two hundred and forty shows a year in Vegas and then the other time. I'm doing drugs at home in Florida.

• 1:14:29Bobby Lee?

  But you've never thought about stopping?

• 1:14:31Speaker 05

  No, I don't know how to do anything else, what am I gonna do, you know? I says, I love doing this.

• 1:14:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:35Speaker 05

  I had a show last night, it was the most fun, it was after a three week run, it was like, that was the most energy of the whole week.

• 1:14:39Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Yeah, it's so much fun, yeah, it is, I can't.

• 1:14:42Speaker 05

  I always tell people, the only, the only job I could probably do is guess people's weight at the fair, you know? You can't, you can't really fuck that up, right? You just.

• 1:14:51Bobby Lee?

  What the fuck up?

• 1:14:52Speaker 05

  You just sit there and you. You sit in a lawn chair and they, they bring people in.

• 1:14:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:56Speaker 05

  You just kinda look them over and you're like, two ninety. And you're like, nope, I'm like, fuck. All right, bring me the next one.

• 1:15:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:05Speaker 05

  One seventy-two, fuck, how was work? Not good, not good.

• 1:15:08Bobby Lee?

  Can you walk into a mall?

• 1:15:10Speaker 05

  They're talking about canceling me. Walk into a mall?

• 1:15:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, you get recognized a lot.

• 1:15:14Speaker 05

  Oh, and yeah, I, I mean, yeah.

• 1:15:16Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:15:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, you just open the door. I'm, I'm fucked in a lineup.

• 1:15:20Bobby Lee?

  He just opened the door?

• 1:15:21Speaker 05

  Oh, he says, can you walk in a mall? Yeah, I just opened the door.

• 1:15:24Bobby Lee?

  Damn.

• 1:15:24Speaker 05

  Literal, he's a literal.

• 1:15:25Bobby Lee?

  So funny.

• 1:15:26Speaker 05

  He's a literalist.

• 1:15:27Bobby Lee?

  You're. He's on one today, he's like. Elevated, to a level where I don't even get it. I like it. Wow.

• 1:15:32Speaker 05

  So can, can you still get on elevators? Well, yeah, you just hold the button and then you.

• 1:15:37Speaker 05

  Still do it.

• 1:15:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, your material is so devolved, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:40Speaker 05

  But no, going back to quitting and retiring and all that, it's like, I don't, I honestly love what I do. And I'm at the, I'm at the, uh, stage of it where it's more fun. Because I think I've not figured it out, but figured me out, like, I know how to write and I know how to, uh. Put the show together more and more of a rhythm than I was when I was younger. Where I was more just bouncing around trying to figure out, you know, how to, how to do it. So I think now I feel like I kinda have a sense of, your table has a glory hole in it, by the way.

• 1:16:08Bobby Lee?

  I know. We have a friend named Carlos and he, he likes to use it. You know what I mean? Have you ever used a glory hole?

• 1:16:15Speaker 05

  Have I used one?

• 1:16:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:17Speaker 05

  That's where we met. I thought we met.

• 1:16:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:20Speaker 05

  That's why I say you look familiar.

• 1:16:21Bobby Lee?

  No, let me add to that. If.

• 1:16:23Speaker 05

  If I was in, if I was in, if I stuck my penis in a glory hole and you were the one blowing me. And then we went to the hallway and we figured that out, how would you feel? How would you feel?

• 1:16:44Bobby Lee?

  How would you feel?

• 1:16:44Speaker 05

  If it was good head, I'd be all right.

• 1:16:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, if I did it to you, yeah, and we walked.

• 1:16:51Speaker 05

  I'll see you tomorrow at work, huh?

• 1:16:52Bobby Lee?

  Would we laugh? Like we locked eyes like, ah!

• 1:16:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, you blew me.

• 1:16:58Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:16:58Speaker 05

  You know, I thought, wait, I blew you.

• 1:17:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I've never, I've never used a glory hole. And I don't even know where they are. But, Carrot?

• 1:17:08Speaker 05

  He has them on his phone. He has a lot of them.

• 1:17:10Bobby Lee?

  Scott, Scott?

• 1:17:12Speaker 05

  West Hollywood.

• 1:17:12Bobby Lee?

  Thank you so, did you have fun here?

• 1:17:14Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:17:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, I did have.

• 1:17:17Bobby Lee?

  Why? Why?

• 1:17:18Speaker 05

  No, I did have fun.

• 1:17:19Bobby Lee?

  Well, could I have improved?

• 1:17:20Speaker 05

  No, I, nothing. And all your, your whole, your whole cruise, they're great.

• 1:17:25Bobby Lee?

  They, they loved you.

• 1:17:26Speaker 05

  It makes it so much fun. It makes it so much fun. And appreciate you having me.

• 1:17:29Bobby Lee?

  You wanna plug anything?

• 1:17:31Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah, that, put that picture of that girl back up there. No.

• 1:17:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Yeah. You're quick, dude.

• 1:17:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:17:39Bobby Lee?

  So you, is, so your show's in Vegas?

• 1:17:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, Vegas every night.

• 1:17:43Bobby Lee?

  Where's your residency at?

• 1:17:44Speaker 05

  At the Luxor Casino. And, uh, yeah, every night and, uh, except Sundays. And then, of course, when we take our breaks, we go. Yeah, Luxor.

• 1:17:53Bobby Lee?

  So the next time in Vegas, could I get backstage?

• 1:17:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:17:57Bobby Lee?

  Or go out to buy a ticket?

• 1:17:58Speaker 05

  No, you absolutely can.

• 1:18:00Bobby Lee?

  I can contact you and then, you know. Are we, and you can say no. Are we at a level where I can have your phone number?

• 1:18:06Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 1:18:06Bobby Lee?

  Be real.

• 1:18:07Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 1:18:07Bobby Lee?

  I don't.

• 1:18:08Speaker 05

  I already have it. It's on the glory hall wall.

• 1:18:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:11Speaker 05

  I wrote it down.

• 1:18:12Bobby Lee?

  Um, so I've learned so much about you today. Um, the main thing is the girth, which is I'm gonna have to rattle. Uh, it's gonna fuck up my mind for a couple of days, but, um, I think I'll get over it. Um, and then, um, what a nice guy you are.

• 1:18:26Speaker 05

  Thank you. Likewise. All you guys are. Appreciate you having me.

• 1:18:29Bobby Lee?

  And so talented. I want you to have a safe flight. I want you to have a blessed life. And I want everyone in the room to clap for, um, Scott.

• 1:18:37Speaker 05

  Scott.

• 1:18:38Bobby Lee?

  AKA Carrot.

• 1:19:17Bobby Lee?

  I mean, you gotta take care of your autism. You need to have medication or, you know, see a psychotherapist. I don't know what it is, but your brain is really interesting. I saw Mission Impossible last night.

• 1:19:29Speaker 00

  Why did you, why did you do that?

• 1:19:31Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 1:19:32Speaker 00

  You liked it?

• 1:19:33Bobby Lee?

  I loved it. It was a masterpiece.

• 1:19:36Speaker 00

  Masterpiece?

• 1:19:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:40Speaker 04

  You don't like it?

• 1:19:41Speaker 00

  No, I did.

• 1:19:43Speaker 06

  You watched it and did not like it?

• 1:19:44Speaker 00

  I did not like it.

• 1:19:45Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, it was a masterpiece.

• 1:19:46Speaker 00

  The stunt work, the second, the first part was so long.

• 1:19:49Bobby Lee?

  The first part was so great.

• 1:19:52Speaker 00

  Bro, I feel like the last good one was the one with Henry Cavill.

• 1:19:55Bobby Lee?

  This is the best one they've done.

• 1:19:56Speaker 00

  Oh wow.

• 1:19:57Bobby Lee?

  Me and my group were like, that was insane. It was so good from beginning to end. I loved every minute of it. When Bing Rames dies, that's the slow part?

• 1:20:05Speaker 00

  Dude, no one cared.

• 1:20:07Bobby Lee?

  I did. I cried.

• 1:20:08Speaker 00

  Oh my god, not crying.

• 1:20:09Bobby Lee?

  I literally cried.

• 1:20:12Bobby Lee?

  When they were at the fence, or at the gate.

• 1:20:17Bobby Lee?

  It was flawless.

• 1:20:19Speaker 00

  The Entity.

• 1:20:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:22Bobby Lee?

  The Entity's been around since the whole thing. The last couple.

• 1:20:27Speaker 04

  I want to watch Karate Kid: Legends.

• 1:20:29Bobby Lee?

  Okay, we're not doing this.

• 1:20:34Speaker 00

  And?

• 1:20:35Speaker 04

  I don't know, I'm still processing.

• 1:20:39Speaker 00

  Is it that?

• 1:20:39Bobby Lee?

  Gave this stuff for the thing.

• 1:20:41Speaker 00

  Isn't it that deep? Jackie Chan?

• 1:20:43Speaker 04

  It doesn't feel like a Karate Kid movie.

• 1:20:45Bobby Lee?

  Okay, we're gonna get your review in a second when we start the thing.

• 1:20:48Speaker 04

  It's like...

• 1:20:49Bobby Lee?

  No, we'll get it, okay? Cisco, we'll get it.