Pod Insights TigerBelly Asif Ali a Fresh of Breath Air About this episode Comedian and actor Asif Ali joins TigerBelly and Bobby steals a kiss from him at The Store. We talk Indian Doctor closer, Internal Fartitude, Golden Gala thumbs, Hyderabad, meeting Brad Pitt, and Jamie locked in.
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Transcript 19,035 words · 7 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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0:59 Bobby Lee? Be the Helix here for your sleep. Baby, why you sleep, babe? Hey, Helix. For your sleep. Helix. Anyway, Helix, man, I, my sleep has improved dramatically since I've been sleeping on a Helix mattress. Improvements, A-OK, number one. Has your Helix mattress upgraded your bedroom home? Yes, it has. Every room in my house is elevated to a beautiful, comfortable sleeping place. For one, human beings and other living beings can sleep on, you know? You can personalize it, can you not?
1:32 Speaker 02 You can. So for instance, me, like, I'm a hot sleeper, but I also like to sleep on my side. So I got matched with a Helix Midnight mattress. And then I'm like, you know what? I wanna, I wanna upgrade a little bit, and I got the luxe version of that. So I sleep like a baby.
1:46 Speaker 03 The happy with Helix guarantee, rest easy with seamless returns and exchange and 120-night sleep trial.
1:53 Speaker 00 Is it award-winning?
1:54 Speaker 03 It is award-winning. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand, tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired.
2:02 Speaker 00 Guys, go to helixsleep.com/tigerbelly for 20% off site-wide. That's helixsleep.com/tigerbelly for 20% off site-wide. That's helixsleep.com/tigerbelly.
2:18 Bobby Lee? Belly laugh for your belly.
2:26 Bobby Lee? Guys, in America, in Los Angeles, I'm doing a show called Belly Laughs with Hasan Minhaj, Kumail Nanjiani, Margaret Cho, Bobby Lee, Joel Kim Booster, Sherri Cola, Asaf Ali, Andrea Jin, Jason Chaney, some other guy that I don't want to even say, but ladies, right now, right, Jo-Wall, everybody. Dude, it's gonna be a gigantic Asian festival of laughs and, you know what I mean?
2:53 Speaker 00 What time?
2:54 Bobby Lee? It's gonna be July 13th is the show that I'm on, right? July 13th?
2:57 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah, yeah.
2:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah. July 12th is gonna be pretty good.
2:59 Speaker 00 Fine.
2:59 Bobby Lee? But the 13th?
3:00 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah.
3:02 Bobby Lee? The one I'm on? Yeah, it's a big thing. There's a lot of people on it and it's gonna be great, so...
3:09 Speaker 00 Go buy your tickets and go see The Slept King on the 13th. Also, guys, we're doing a giveaway, so head over to our social media to see if you can win a pair of tickets to the show.
3:45 Bobby Lee? Asif Ali.
3:47 Speaker 00 Oh, here we go.
3:48 Bobby Lee? Asif Ali.
3:51 Speaker 00 Dot, wait, you said dot-to?
3:53 Bobby Lee? Well, I was just... Asif Ali, dot-to, on your hair, hello. Something like that, yeah, yeah. Is that racist?
4:01 Speaker 00 No, no, no, no, no. You?
4:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
4:03 Speaker 00 You?
4:03 Bobby Lee? Asif...
4:04 Speaker 00 Never. No, no, no, no, no.
4:05 Bobby Lee? Asif Ali, dot-to.
4:14 Speaker 00 This is like We Are The World. Yeah, this is good.
4:17 Bobby Lee? Yeah. You do Bob Dylan.
4:20 Bobby Lee? Hey.
4:21 Speaker 00 Hey.
4:21 Bobby Lee? Asif Ali.
4:22 Speaker 00 Asif Ali, here.
4:23 Bobby Lee? Dot-to, dot-to.
4:25 Speaker 00 Dot-to, dot-to.
4:27 Bobby Lee? Hi, you're good. You're my friend.
4:31 Speaker 04 I'm so happy to be here.
4:32 Bobby Lee? I'm not done.
4:32 Speaker 04 You're not done?
4:33 Bobby Lee? I love it.
4:34 Speaker 04 Okay.
4:34 Bobby Lee? You brought your shitty brother here.
4:37 Speaker 04 He's a full doctor, by the way.
4:38 Bobby Lee? He's a pharmacist.
4:39 Speaker 04 He's a full pharmacist.
4:40 Bobby Lee? That's not a doctor.
4:41 Speaker 04 Come on, he's Dr. Ali.
4:42 Bobby Lee? He's a fucking, I've known him for years, too.
4:44 Speaker 04 That's Dr. Ali.
4:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and he's always hitting on girls.
4:47 Speaker 04 He's always hitting on girls.
4:48 Bobby Lee? Oh, it's incredible.
4:50 Speaker 04 He's living the life.
4:51 Bobby Lee? I'll be with a girl and he'll come out of nowhere.
4:53 Speaker 04 Yeah, he'll be like, hi, I'm a doctor.
4:55 Bobby Lee? I'm a pharmacist.
4:56 Speaker 04 I'm a pharmacist, do you have a, currently have a prescription at CVS? I'd love to look up your information.
5:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah, do you have your own practice?
5:03 Speaker 04 No, I work at it, retail. Don't include him, this is about me, how dare he, Bobby? Don't include him, I know he's better looking.
5:11 Bobby Lee? No, no, you don't need a mic. You don't need a mic.
5:14 Speaker 04 See how easily he's just, he's right there waiting.
5:17 Bobby Lee? So here's what, can I just get out of the way?
5:19 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, get out of the way. Well, I'll tell you what bothers me about you afterwards, go ahead.
5:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that's what this is all about.
5:24 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, I have a huge problem with you.
5:26 Bobby Lee? I have, dude, I have, oh, you want it's?
5:28 Speaker 04 Yeah, and you're gonna love this.
5:29 Bobby Lee? You have problems?
5:29 Speaker 04 So lock in, dude.
5:30 Bobby Lee? Let's open with problems.
5:32 Speaker 04 So fucking lock in, dude.
5:33 Bobby Lee? Lock it, lock it.
5:34 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5:34 Bobby Lee? Okay.
5:36 Speaker 03 I don't have any problems with you, bro.
5:37 Bobby Lee? Okay.
5:38 Speaker 04 I know, I know, it's mostly us against him.
5:40 Bobby Lee? Wow, dude.
5:41 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5:42 Bobby Lee? Amazing.
5:43 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's an inside job, dude.
5:45 Bobby Lee? So my problem with you is, um,
5:49 Bobby Lee? everyone loves you.
5:50 Speaker 04 That's crazy, I don't believe that.
5:52 Bobby Lee? I'm being real, dude, you're the nicest guy.
5:54 Speaker 04 You say that, but you use it as an insult.
5:57 Bobby Lee? You're the nicest guy in the world.
5:59 Speaker 04 A couple days ago, we were at the store, we had just performed, and we were in the patio, and these two nice people were talking to me.
6:06 Bobby Lee? Women?
6:07 Speaker 04 Women. Yeah, so what?
6:10 Bobby Lee? Do you have a girlfriend?
6:10 Speaker 04 No.
6:11 Bobby Lee? Okay.
6:12 Speaker 04 What if I was shaking when I said that?
6:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, did you slide it?
6:16 Speaker 04 No.
6:16 Bobby Lee? I saw you, I was, so I was watching you from afar.
6:18 Speaker 04 Uh huh. That's so you.
6:21 Bobby Lee? I was.
6:21 Speaker 04 Perch and.
6:22 Bobby Lee? And I was taking notes how not to do it.
6:24 Speaker 04 Okay, I was being too nice and then I said goodbye to everyone and then.
6:28 Bobby Lee? Cause I kissed the Asian one.
6:30 Speaker 04 Wow, on the mouth?
6:32 Bobby Lee? No, on the eyeball.
6:33 Speaker 04 I don't know.
6:34 Bobby Lee? What are you fucking talking about? Yeah, on the fucking mouth, dude.
6:37 Speaker 04 But you feel like an old school guy, maybe you kiss on the neck, R and B style.
6:42 Bobby Lee? Okay, no, no, I.
6:42 Speaker 04 You've never done that?
6:43 Bobby Lee? No, I didn't do R and B, no.
6:44 Speaker 04 Okay.
6:44 Bobby Lee? You've kissed on the neck, you open with a kiss on the neck.
6:47 Speaker 04 I don't open with a kiss on the neck, no. Maybe like a cheek, but you're just going.
6:50 Bobby Lee? Maybe that's how Indians do it.
6:51 Speaker 04 Did you know them? Don't do that.
6:52 Bobby Lee? What?
6:53 Speaker 04 We're only like three minutes in, don't bring India into this yet.
6:56 Bobby Lee? I just, I already said dot dot.
6:57 Speaker 04 I know, but that's, that sounded Asian, that sounded Asian.
7:00 Bobby Lee? Okay, anyway, um.
7:02 Speaker 04 Okay, so then I.
7:03 Bobby Lee? I was watching you.
7:04 Speaker 04 Yeah.
7:05 Bobby Lee? To show me how not to do it.
7:06 Speaker 04 And then you immediately kissed her.
7:08 Bobby Lee? No.
7:09 Speaker 04 How long did it take?
7:10 Bobby Lee? It was a peck, it was a romantic kiss.
7:13 Speaker 04 And did you ask?
7:14 Bobby Lee? Yes, dude, what?
7:16 Speaker 04 I wanted to clarify.
7:17 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
7:17 Speaker 04 Cause he was wondering.
7:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
7:19 Speaker 04 He was wondering.
7:19 Bobby Lee? Cause she had said, I've never kissed an Asian guy before.
7:22 Speaker 04 Impossible, she said that?
7:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so I go, let's be the first, I just picked her on this, it was a joke.
7:26 Speaker 04 Good move.
7:26 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
7:27 Speaker 04 It was a joke.
7:28 Bobby Lee? It was a really good move, yeah, but, oh, but that's how you do it.
7:31 Speaker 04 So I left saying, goodbye to everyone.
7:32 Bobby Lee? Did you find any of them attractive?
7:35 Speaker 04 Uh, yeah.
7:37 Bobby Lee? Which one, the little Asian one?
7:38 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
7:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah, exactly.
7:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
7:39 Bobby Lee? And what, okay, I guess.
7:42 Speaker 04 It's so cool, dude.
7:43 Bobby Lee? It's so cool.
7:43 Speaker 04 Basically, I kissed her too.
7:46 Speaker 03 So you guys kissed each other?
7:47 Speaker 04 Because we were, you know, we're both at the comedy store, no, no, I didn't. I had to go to the improv.
7:50 Bobby Lee? But why didn't you kiss her?
7:51 Speaker 04 Because I had to go to the improv.
7:53 Bobby Lee? But did you get her number?
7:54 Speaker 04 No.
7:54 Speaker 03 Cause he had to go to improv.
7:55 Speaker 04 I had to go to the improv. Fucking lock in, dude, that's what I'm talking about, dude.
7:59 Bobby Lee? Don't give him that.
7:59 Speaker 04 He's locked in right now. Dude, he's geared up.
8:02 Bobby Lee? All right, first of all, he's watching Ozark.
8:04 Speaker 04 He might be bricked up.
8:05 Bobby Lee? He's watching Ozark for the third time because he didn't understand the first two times he watched it.
8:10 Bobby Lee? Don't high five that guy.
8:12 Speaker 04 I don't know, man, maybe he appreciates cinematography.
8:14 Speaker 03 Have you seen the Ozarks?
8:15 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, I've seen the Ozarks.
8:16 Bobby Lee? It's Ozark.
8:17 Speaker 03 Oh, Ozark.
8:18 Speaker 04 I love the Ozarks.
8:19 Bobby Lee? There's only one Ozark.
8:21 Speaker 04 Yeah.
8:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
8:22 Speaker 03 Uh, you wanna ruin it, cause he has, he's only on season one.
8:24 Speaker 04 No, I don't wanna ruin it for you.
8:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
8:25 Speaker 04 But it's incredible, you really love it.
8:27 Bobby Lee? If you ruined it for me right now, I'll tell you what's gonna happen.
8:29 Speaker 04 What's gonna happen?
8:29 Bobby Lee? Many things. Well, those stickers are gonna be inside your body.
8:33 Speaker 04 I don't know if that's a bad thing.
8:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, let's go back to your attitude.
8:37 Speaker 04 Okay, yeah, and then I said goodbye to everybody, cause I'm a nice person, and you said.
8:42 Speaker 04 Why are you doing this? You're on TV. Like, you want me to be an asshole because I'm on TV. And this is what I wanted to argue with you about. You expect me to be, because I feel like maybe when you were coming up, when you were on TV, because there was only three channels, that you could be a real-
8:57 Bobby Lee? Oh, you're the slam.
8:59 Speaker 04 You know what I mean?
8:59 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, black and white. Is that what you're saying, dude?
9:04 Speaker 04 No, no, no, that's not what I'm saying. That's not what I'm saying.
9:06 Bobby Lee? Panoramic, or whatever. What are you fucking saying, dude?
9:09 Speaker 04 No, no, no, no, no.
9:09 Bobby Lee? You piece of shit.
9:10 Speaker 04 You, Lucille Ball-
9:11 Bobby Lee? Your niceness is fake. Your niceness is fake. I see right through it, and you're really a bad guy.
9:17 Speaker 04 Actually, I wanted to tell you this. People think I'm nice. I'm not that nice.
9:21 Bobby Lee? I know you're not. That's why I'm fucking with you now.
9:22 Speaker 04 Because the things that I talk about you to other people, you wouldn't believe, things that I'm saying about you.
9:29 Bobby Lee? Oh, you sound like Trump.
9:30 Speaker 04 Flat-earther.
9:30 Bobby Lee? You wouldn't believe-
9:31 Speaker 04 You wouldn't believe? Bobby Lee, Flat-earther.
9:34 Bobby Lee? Okay. So, you think I'm a Flat-earther?
9:36 Speaker 04 I think you're a Flat-earther. I think you want to bring segregation back. These are things that I'm just saying on the road.
9:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9:41 Speaker 04 I said it in Dallas. That's my closing-
9:42 Bobby Lee? Segregation, maybe.
9:43 Speaker 04 Maybe.
9:44 Bobby Lee? But, um, so you're so nice, right?
9:46 Speaker 04 I don't-
9:47 Bobby Lee? And here's, can I say another thing that you do? And I could be wrong.
9:51 Speaker 04 Okay.
9:51 Bobby Lee? Right? And I don't want to make you mad, right?
9:53 Speaker 04 It's impossible.
9:54 Bobby Lee? But every time I go, "Oh, congratulations on the show," you're like, "Oh, it's no big deal," right? But it's your way of going, you know what I mean? "Yeah, I'm on a show."
10:01 Speaker 04 That is not true.
10:02 Bobby Lee? So, basically, what it is-
10:03 Speaker 04 That is not true.
10:04 Bobby Lee? It's him exuding like-
10:05 Speaker 04 Sure, I'm on Netflix, streaming on Hulu right now.
10:08 Bobby Lee? It's not a big deal, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? "I'm gonna fix the economy." But it's basically him going, you know what I mean, trying to stay humble about it.
10:18 Speaker 04 No.
10:19 Bobby Lee? But it's coming across like, "I'm a TV star, and I don't like it. And I've had enough."
10:23 Speaker 04 That's not true.
10:24 Bobby Lee? The way you did that to my ear, dude, was uncalled for.
10:26 Speaker 04 Crazy.
10:27 Bobby Lee? You know, and also, I can do it to you too, okay? You fuck, you fuck-
10:29 Speaker 04 Let me hear. Ooh, feels good, dude.
10:33 Bobby Lee? So, um-
10:34 Speaker 04 Cheers, cheers to my-
10:35 Bobby Lee? Cheers to you, my friend. To your TV show, you TV star.
10:38 Speaker 03 I did it too, I just-
10:38 Speaker 04 Hey, man. Guys locked in, he's got a Celsius, dude, you don't need that much energy. Unbelievable, you're sitting down and you're getting geared up?
10:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, I bought it for you, yeah, yeah.
10:48 Speaker 04 That's nice, that's nice.
10:49 Speaker 03 How much was this?
10:50 Bobby Lee? What?
10:51 Speaker 04 How much was it? He wants to know the real questions, how much was it?
10:52 Bobby Lee? Two dollars?
10:53 Speaker 03 It was a hundred dollars.
10:55 Bobby Lee? Oh yeah, so, yeah, so I went there and I, so I went to the Shell, Shell gas station.
10:59 Speaker 04 Uh huh.
10:59 Bobby Lee? And I, I got, I bought that, two packs of cigarettes.
11:02 Speaker 04 Who was working there? Be honest with me, look at me right now, what kind of guy was working at that gas station?
11:06 Bobby Lee? A girl.
11:07 Speaker 04 Be honest with me.
11:07 Bobby Lee? Well, they're not working there anymore because I called somebody.
11:10 Speaker 04 Wow.
11:10 Bobby Lee? Hello, hello.
11:14 Bobby Lee? It's cold in here.
11:15 Speaker 04 You know Bobby was too scared to go to the protest.
11:17 Bobby Lee? I was there, Saturday, I didn't see you there.
11:19 Speaker 04 I was there.
11:20 Bobby Lee? Were you really?
11:20 Speaker 04 Mm.
11:21 Bobby Lee? Where were you?
11:21 Speaker 04 I was in Culver City.
11:23 Bobby Lee? Oh, you went to the Culver City one?
11:23 Speaker 04 Yeah. It was you and Steven Spielberg?
11:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
11:28 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:28 Bobby Lee? Good guy too.
11:29 Speaker 04 Yeah, good guy, great guy. Right side of history.
11:31 Bobby Lee? And, okay.
11:32 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:33 Bobby Lee? So what I also want to say about you, so you're cocky about your show.
11:35 Speaker 04 I'm not cocky about my show.
11:36 Bobby Lee? You're too nice.
11:37 Speaker 04 My thing is streaming, everyone is, it used to be this thing of where you're on a TV show, you could be like Bobby, you could walk around and tell people, hey, you piece of shit.
11:47 Bobby Lee? Did I ever do that?
11:47 Speaker 04 And push them.
11:48 Bobby Lee? You know what?
11:49 Speaker 04 You pushed me in front of a car.
11:50 Bobby Lee? This is on fucking Culver.
11:51 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:52 Bobby Lee? I pushed you in front, you, I pushed you in front of a car.
11:54 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:54 Bobby Lee? My car.
11:55 Speaker 04 And you said, and you said, why, why do you think my cars have so many dents in them? Because I'm hitting people with my car.
12:00 Bobby Lee? Exactly.
12:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
12:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
12:02 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:03 Bobby Lee? The way we do it in fucking, you know what I mean, the third world countries.
12:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so you, you're trying to bring that vibe back.
12:08 Bobby Lee? I always take sticks and I, I tap it against buses.
12:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, and you go, and you go, you wish, you say you wish, yeah. You fucking wish.
12:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, do you even know that reference?
12:17 Speaker 04 No, I don't know that reference.
12:18 Bobby Lee? Okay, okay, why, why'd you do this little thing like that?
12:20 Speaker 04 Because it just felt like something you would do.
12:22 Speaker 00 He's yes and, yeah.
12:22 Bobby Lee? He's just handing.
12:23 Speaker 04 God, I love yes handing, dude.
12:24 Bobby Lee? God, I love you, dude. But anyway, uh, so.
12:27 Speaker 04 But because of streaming.
12:28 Bobby Lee? Another thing I found about you just now is that you're not a closer. Your brother, look at me right now dude.
12:35 Speaker 04 Do everything, huh?
12:35 Bobby Lee? You could have a TV show.
12:37 Speaker 04 Yeah, I could.
12:37 Bobby Lee? You're a very funny comic, by the way.
12:38 Speaker 04 Thank you very much.
12:39 Bobby Lee? But this guy's a closer, dude.
12:41 Speaker 04 Fucking closer.
12:42 Bobby Lee? You know why? He closed medical school. Did he not?
12:44 Speaker 04 He closed his student loans.
12:47 Bobby Lee? And he knows how to close women.
12:51 Bobby Lee? Okay?
12:51 Speaker 04 And he'll do it again. You're so lucky there's no women in here right now. And I think you do that on purpose.
12:56 Bobby Lee? Oh yeah, I knew he was coming.
12:57 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:58 Bobby Lee? Get him out, get him out.
12:59 Speaker 04 Let's make a real sausage fest in here, so he has nothing to do.
13:01 Bobby Lee? I think you have an addiction. I think that's something we can talk about later, but yeah, yeah.
13:04 Speaker 04 Whoa!
13:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I think there's something going on with you, like you were, were you molested? There's something going on.
13:10 Speaker 04 Do you wanna be?
13:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, um, so these are three things. So that's the only thing you know about me? Is that, that's the only gripe you have against me?
13:19 Speaker 04 No, no, no, I have other gripes against you.
13:20 Bobby Lee? Give me another one.
13:21 Speaker 04 You have an animated show with Andrew and I, and I was like, hey, I, you, all you say is, hey, there's a talented guy, he's on a TV show. And I go, hey, can I be on your animated show? And you go, no.
13:33 Bobby Lee? Wow.
13:34 Speaker 04 And I go, I auditioned. I had the audacity to audition for the show. I put myself on tape. I'm a humble guy. I'll put myself on tape. I will submit. I'll go through the proper channels and I go, Bobby, hey, just maybe, you know, just give it a little nudge up the, you know, you're the, you're the executive producer, you're the creator, maybe, you know, use a little leverage to help a fellow Asian person out, help the diaspora.
13:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
13:54 Speaker 04 And who'd you hire? Who'd you hire?
13:57 Bobby Lee? Eric Andre?
13:57 Speaker 04 No, not from my part. Who'd you hire?
13:59 Bobby Lee? I don't know what part you read for.
14:00 Speaker 04 Charlie Day.
14:01 Bobby Lee? Charlie Day?
14:01 Speaker 04 Who is what ethnicity?
14:03 Bobby Lee? White.
14:04 Speaker 04 How dare you?
14:05 Bobby Lee? He's not?
14:05 Speaker 04 How dare you do that to me?
14:07 Bobby Lee? He's not white?
14:07 Speaker 04 No, no, that's for solidarity. You hired a white guy over me? Is he not doing, has he not been on TV?
14:12 Bobby Lee? He left.
14:13 Speaker 04 For 30, oh, he left the show?
14:14 Bobby Lee? He's not on the show anymore. You're back in business, baby.
14:16 Speaker 04 I'm back in business.
14:16 Bobby Lee? Go, baby! And I fired him because of you.
14:19 Speaker 04 Oh, good.
14:19 Bobby Lee? Alright, so fuck off now.
14:21 Speaker 04 Okay, cuz.
14:21 Bobby Lee? Call Charlie. He's back in.
14:24 Speaker 04 Wait, wait, wait, no, no.
14:26 Bobby Lee? You lost the job.
14:26 Speaker 04 And it was to be a caterpillar or something like that.
14:29 Bobby Lee? Oh, now you're, why, you think it's a kid's show?
14:31 Speaker 04 I think it's a kid's program.
14:33 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
14:33 Speaker 04 With bad language.
14:34 Bobby Lee? Alright.
14:35 Speaker 04 I think it's nasty language on your kid's program.
14:36 Bobby Lee? There's a lot of nasty language. So the reason why I said no.
14:39 Speaker 04 Yeah.
14:40 Bobby Lee? Is this.
14:42 Speaker 04 I swear to God.
14:43 Bobby Lee? I swear to God, I'll rip your little Indian fucking lips off, you're fucking stupid.
14:47 Speaker 04 I'll fucking kill you, dude. Wait until my rep sees this episode. How dare you. You know my family's from Hyderabad. How dare you keep.
14:54 Bobby Lee? Hyderabad?
14:54 Speaker 04 Hyderabad.
14:55 Bobby Lee? That's not even a place.
14:55 Speaker 04 Make it into a song then.
14:58 Speaker 04 Make it into a song then. Hyderabad.
15:00 Bobby Lee? Hyderabad, not a real place.
15:04 Speaker 04 It is a real place.
15:06 Bobby Lee? What's the nearest big city near Hyderabad?
15:10 Speaker 04 It's Hyderabad.
15:11 Bobby Lee? Hyderabad.
15:12 Speaker 04 Say Hyderabad.
15:13 Bobby Lee? Hyderabad.
15:14 Speaker 04 You know, you have a lot of South Asian fans.
15:17 Bobby Lee? I do?
15:17 Speaker 04 And they're pissed right now.
15:19 Bobby Lee? No, they're not.
15:19 Speaker 04 Yeah, they're watching this right now, being like.
15:21 Bobby Lee? First of all, I did fucking three shows in Hyderabad. In that, in that, in that building.
15:26 Speaker 04 In the Golkhanda Fort? You went to the Golkhanda Fort and sold out, two shows. You sold out two shows in the fort?
15:33 Bobby Lee? Nine seats.
15:34 Speaker 04 Wow. It's the Restaurant Monkeys?
15:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
15:36 Speaker 04 How dare you.
15:37 Bobby Lee? Eighteen total, dude.
15:38 Speaker 04 How fucking dare you, dude.
15:39 Bobby Lee? So Hyderabad.
15:40 Speaker 04 The Chao Mahala, the Ramoji Film Palace, which is a high-tech city.
15:44 Bobby Lee? Is that north or south Hyderabad?
15:46 Speaker 04 It's south. What do you mean, it's south?
15:48 Bobby Lee? It is south of India.
15:50 Speaker 04 Not of India, it's in India. It's south in India.
15:54 Bobby Lee? Okay, can I say, when you look at India, is there a north and south?
15:57 Speaker 04 Yes.
15:57 Bobby Lee? That's what I'm asking. Is it the southern part of fucking?
16:00 Speaker 04 It's the southern part.
16:01 Bobby Lee? Well, you understood, what's wrong with your hostility today?
16:03 Speaker 04 I'm so mad at you.
16:05 Bobby Lee? I don't know anything about Hyderabad.
16:07 Speaker 04 Why not?
16:08 Bobby Lee? Like, why would I know?
16:09 Speaker 04 I, I.
16:10 Bobby Lee? Have you heard anyone, let's do consensus.
16:12 Speaker 04 He's locked in.
16:13 Bobby Lee? Raise your hand if you've heard of Hyderabad.
16:16 Speaker 04 Everyone's heard of Hyderabad, including my brother.
16:18 Bobby Lee? Not EJ, though.
16:19 Speaker 04 Yeah, but why would anyone expect him to know?
16:21 Bobby Lee? Exactly. And I know things about him right now, but I'm not gonna say it.
16:25 Speaker 04 Carmen Arpaio, you gotta come with.
16:27 Bobby Lee? I got that.
16:28 Speaker 04 Would you come to Hyderabad?
16:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, if you and I, let's do four shows then.
16:32 Speaker 04 Four shows at the Golkhanda Fort?
16:34 Bobby Lee? At the Golkhanda Fort, yeah, yeah. I feel like if I went to Hyderabad, I would get no pussy.
16:38 Speaker 04 Impossible.
16:39 Speaker 03 Impossible.
16:40 Speaker 04 He knows, he's locked in, dude.
16:42 Bobby Lee? Like, okay, so you've gotten some ass in Hyderabad?
16:46 Speaker 04 No, because I'm almost there with my family, but.
16:49 Speaker 04 But when me and you go, that's a whole different story.
16:51 Bobby Lee? You really think that if you and I went to Hadhrabaz, that we'd be like swimming in it?
16:56 Speaker 04 Swimming in it?
16:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah. How about a puddle?
16:59 Speaker 04 A puddle, for sure.
16:59 Bobby Lee? Dipping our toes in a puddle?
17:00 Speaker 04 Dipping our toes, absolutely. Both ten toes.
17:03 Bobby Lee? Okay.
17:03 Speaker 04 Yeah.
17:04 Bobby Lee? Now, um, would we have to pay for it?
17:07 Speaker 04 No.
17:07 Bobby Lee? Or you think we can get it in the wild?
17:09 Speaker 04 No, no, just off pure charisma?
17:10 Bobby Lee? At a coffee shop?
17:13 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so.
17:14 Bobby Lee? Okay, so what do they look like?
17:15 Speaker 03 You would crush at this place.
17:16 Speaker 04 Dude, we could shoot a movie. Would you be in the movie with me?
17:19 Bobby Lee? Oh, I'll do a Bollywood movie for you.
17:21 Speaker 04 Can I tell you something that you would find this to be interesting? There's nobody, is, are there any actors with your same name?
17:26 Bobby Lee? No.
17:27 Speaker 04 There's no like, even like a Robert Lee?
17:29 Bobby Lee? No, not really. There was a, um, general.
17:32 Speaker 04 Oh, the Civil War general, yes. Is that why you changed your name?
17:35 Bobby Lee? No, how dare you. I'm proud of, he's my ancestor.
17:39 Speaker 04 He's your great grandfather?
17:40 Bobby Lee? Anyway.
17:40 Speaker 04 Okay, okay, segregation, he wants to bring it back.
17:42 Speaker 03 Robert E. Lee.
17:43 Speaker 04 There is a Osifali.
17:46 Speaker 03 Robert E. Lee, look at him.
17:47 Bobby Lee? Let's move on. Everyone knew that, but I didn't know that you knew it.
17:50 Speaker 04 Yeah. This is what Celsius does, dude.
17:51 Bobby Lee? This is the weirdest, it's going all over the place.
17:53 Speaker 04 He's amped up. Um, there is an Osifali.
17:56 Speaker 03 The South lost.
17:57 Bobby Lee? Oh, I thought you were fucking, I thought you were doing a salute.
18:00 Speaker 04 Yeah, do the salute.
18:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. This is your thinking man?
18:03 Speaker 04 Yeah.
18:03 Bobby Lee? Oh, okay, good.
18:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, there's Osifali. This is, when I do auditions and stuff, or when I'm on set.
18:10 Bobby Lee? Oh shit.
18:11 Speaker 04 You know by the director, they'll have like the pictures of everybody, like if you're doing a commercial or something, so they can like keep track? Ninety-five percent of the time, when I walk by there, it'll be this guy's picture.
18:20 Speaker 03 And that's you over there.
18:21 Bobby Lee? Wow. That's you to the right?
18:23 Speaker 04 That's me to the right. It took me fifteen years.
18:26 Bobby Lee? Do you know the guy?
18:27 Speaker 04 No, I've never met him. But how cool would it be if we went to?
18:30 Bobby Lee? Could you change your name?
18:31 Speaker 04 To what at this point?
18:33 Bobby Lee? What's your middle name?
18:33 Speaker 04 Just do some examples.
18:34 Bobby Lee? What's your middle name?
18:35 Speaker 04 You're not gonna like it.
18:36 Bobby Lee? I'm gonna love it, I think.
18:37 Speaker 04 You're not gonna like it.
18:38 Bobby Lee? Can I pronounce it?
18:39 Speaker 04 Yeah, you can pronounce it.
18:40 Bobby Lee? I don't think I can.
18:41 Speaker 04 It's Mohammed.
18:43 Bobby Lee? Oh, that's standard.
18:44 Speaker 04 See? I knew you weren't gonna like it, and I knew you were gonna act like it.
18:46 Bobby Lee? It's like a Mexican named Jose. It's like, why can't you change it up, you fucking guys?
18:50 Speaker 04 Okay, so then to what?
18:51 Bobby Lee? Like Mohammed?
18:52 Speaker 04 Change it to what?
18:53 Bobby Lee? What?
18:54 Speaker 04 Give me an example.
18:55 Bobby Lee? You can make any sound effect, why can't that be it?
18:57 Speaker 04 Okay, let's hear it.
19:00 Speaker 04 That's, doesn't sound Indian, that sounds like-
19:01 Bobby Lee? It doesn't matter, that could be it. Allah Boom.
19:04 Speaker 04 They have a hard enough time saying Asif, they're gonna pronounce Allah Boom?
19:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, no, not Allah Boom. Allah Boom.
19:11 Speaker 04 Allah Boom.
19:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, there we go.
19:13 Speaker 04 Yeah, but the problem is, executives are not gonna be able to pronounce that.
19:16 Bobby Lee? Okay, right, right.
19:17 Speaker 04 Let's give us something easy.
19:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
19:20 Speaker 04 Or should we go fully white?
19:21 Bobby Lee? I just did it.
19:21 Speaker 04 What is it?
19:25 Bobby Lee? Why can't that be your name? I mean, hey, who's coming in?
19:29 Bobby Lee? Oh, I love- Wait, I love Squirk.
19:33 Speaker 04 You think they would respect me more, 'cause I wanna have a name that people will really respect?
19:36 Bobby Lee? It doesn't even, you don't even have to use, um, um, letters, you can just use like a symbol maybe with-
19:41 Speaker 04 Oh, like a-
19:42 Bobby Lee? Like a pebble or something. Yeah, yeah, dude, that's a great- That's, why can't that be your name?
19:48 Speaker 04 He's all for only.
19:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah. He's all for only, yeah.
19:53 Speaker 04 So I was thinking, should I take this guy out or be in a movie with him?
19:57 Bobby Lee? Oh, Asafili, Asalilah.
19:59 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, by the way, that's another gripe I have with you, when, when Bobby brings up-
20:03 Bobby Lee? Oh my god, dude, what the fuck are you doing?
20:05 Speaker 04 After you get, after you have a set and you have the, you have the honor to bring up a legend like Bobby Lee on stage, you know, you give him the credits and then he goes, "No credits," or if you don't do credits and he'd be like, "Talk about my credits." And then, and then you bring him on, and then he'll be like, "Yeah, give it up for Aslam Wa Lekum," or whatever that guy was.
20:27 Bobby Lee? Never said that.
20:28 Speaker 04 Come on, man, and then I have to say Wa Lekum Aslam, just out of routine in the back?
20:31 Bobby Lee? I do it for everybody.
20:33 Speaker 04 Why?
20:33 Bobby Lee? So if it's Argus Hamilton, I'll go, "One more time for Agi Malaloh," or whatever.
20:37 Speaker 04 What if somebody's there and they're like, "I wanna put you in my animated show," but who is that Aslam Wa Lekum guy that was there?
20:43 Bobby Lee? You think that's how show business works?
20:44 Speaker 04 I think that's how show business works.
20:46 Bobby Lee? You think you cast it because of your little set?
20:47 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
20:48 Bobby Lee? No. And also, I'm making, listen, do I not give you a hug?
20:51 Speaker 04 You do give me a hug.
20:52 Bobby Lee? And have you, have I ever brought you up?
20:54 Speaker 04 Yeah, you have.
20:55 Bobby Lee? And is my intro's good?
20:56 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's pretty good.
20:57 Bobby Lee? Better than most?
20:58 Speaker 04 Better than most.
20:59 Bobby Lee? Exactly, so shut your fucking little poo jabby face off.
21:04 Bobby Lee? What do you guys?
21:04 Speaker 04 Four shows, guys, four shows at the Gold Conde Four.
21:06 Bobby Lee? What are you guys doing right now? I don't like when this happens.
21:07 Speaker 00 We're trying to figure out, did you intro our guest?
21:09 Speaker 03 No, you didn't.
21:10 Speaker 04 Wow, this is the kind of fuck, this is my
21:12 Speaker 00 I was like-
21:12 Speaker 04 ninth problem with you. You never introduce me on your podcast. I fucking knew this was gonna happen. That you were gonna have me on and then you were gonna get distracted
21:20 Bobby Lee? I thought we already did it.
21:21 Speaker 04 by my hot ass doctor brother and you weren't gonna introduce me cuz you're so obsessed with him and all the girls that he has sex with and fucking roasting my ass cuz I'm a nice professional in my workplace.
21:31 Bobby Lee? Is his body count bigger than yours?
21:38 Speaker 03 Hims for your head, for your head, Hims.
21:45 Bobby Lee? Hims.
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22:04 Speaker 00 Six months.
22:05 Speaker 03 Yeah. Baseball season is in the full swing. Home run, be honest. Are you wearing a hat to support your favorite team, my guy?
22:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah, check it out, guy.
22:16 Speaker 03 Or are you hiding it, the thinning hair?
22:18 Speaker 04 I'm just thinning too, I'm hiding it.
22:20 Speaker 03 Oh, man. Hims offers access to a range of prescription treatments that are home run. Am I right, baby?
22:26 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
22:27 Speaker 03 For hair growth.
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23:42 Speaker 04 Roasting my ass because I'm a nice professional in my workplace.
23:45 Bobby Lee? Is his body comb bigger than yours? Your brother?
23:48 Speaker 04 Probably.
23:49 Bobby Lee? You guys don't compare?
23:50 Speaker 04 No.
23:51 Bobby Lee? Was it bigger penis?
23:52 Speaker 04 I don't know. Should we do it on the air right now?
23:55 Bobby Lee? Have you ever seen your brother's penis? I've never seen it. Oh, wow.
23:57 Speaker 04 Do you want to? We'll blur it out.
23:59 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. You guys never been to a spa and go, oh, that's my brother's penis?
24:02 Speaker 04 No, we're waiting for you to offer.
24:03 Bobby Lee? Okay. Can I give you an intro then?
24:05 Speaker 04 Yes.
24:06 Bobby Lee? Okay. Uh, this next guy.
24:08 Speaker 04 I think good though, like I'm like, you know what I mean? So people get really impressed with me.
24:11 Bobby Lee? Look at my face.
24:12 Speaker 04 Don't make that face.
24:14 Bobby Lee? Hold on, hold on. Someone's calling me.
24:15 Speaker 04 Who's calling you right now?
24:17 Speaker 03 Oh, my God.
24:17 Bobby Lee? Santino, hold on.
24:18 Speaker 04 Oh, pick it up.
24:19 Speaker 03 Oh, can I introduce you?
24:20 Bobby Lee? I have, um, I have Asif Ali right now on the pod.
24:23 Speaker 04 Hey, man.
24:25 Speaker 06 Oh, boy, am I not a fan?
24:27 Speaker 04 Oh, come on, dude.
24:28 Bobby Lee? Exactly.
24:29 Speaker 04 Come on, why would you do that?
24:32 Speaker 06 Like, can I say this?
24:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
24:33 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
24:33 Speaker 06 All the brown people in comedy.
24:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
24:36 Speaker 06 Uh, of all the brown guys, probably, if not definitely, the least funniest.
24:40 Speaker 04 Come on!
24:41 Bobby Lee? Exactly. That's what I was about to do. I was about to do his intro and that's what, that was my intro.
24:45 Speaker 04 Andrew, my reps are gonna see this.
24:47 Bobby Lee? Okay.
24:49 Speaker 06 Yeah. And, and honestly.
24:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
24:51 Speaker 06 Honestly, Asif, honestly, don't, don't come around the store anymore, bud.
24:55 Speaker 04 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
24:56 Bobby Lee? Also, Andrew.
24:57 Speaker 06 Hi, guys.
24:58 Bobby Lee? Andrew.
24:58 Speaker 04 Andrew, Andrew, why can't I be in the animated show?
25:01 Bobby Lee? Andrew, he apparently auditioned. Did you listen to, did you listen to his audition? I didn't.
25:07 Speaker 06 I did. I did listen to.
25:08 Speaker 04 No.
25:08 Speaker 06 I have a two-word res- I have a two-word response for you, Asif. You stink.
25:13 Speaker 04 No!
25:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll call you after this. Bye, bye, bye. Okay, bye. Yeah, there we go. The truth has been told.
25:24 Speaker 04 Hey, man, I can't argue.
25:25 Bobby Lee? Alright, so this next guy that we have stinks. He sucks, you know what I mean?
25:31 Speaker 04 He has a show on Hulu?
25:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. He's now about to get banned from the Comedy Store. You know what I mean? Uh, no, let's be real, okay? He's probably one of the funniest rising comics out there. Um, he really is. He's a part of our group.
25:45 Speaker 04 I'm a part of the group?
25:46 Bobby Lee? And we love you. We love you in the club scene. And, um, and I'll tell you something. His show, Deli Boys on Hulu, is a fresher breath air.
25:55 Speaker 04 A fresher breath air?
25:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:58 Speaker 04 Wow, that sounds mean!
25:59 Bobby Lee? It's a fresher breath air.
26:00 Speaker 04 That sounds mean!
26:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. And I'll tell ya, you know, I don't know what that means. Right? The Deli Boys.
26:06 Speaker 04 The Deli Boys!
26:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. On, uh, what does this say?
26:09 Speaker 04 On Hulu right now.
26:10 Bobby Lee? Hulu. What does Onyx mean?
26:11 Speaker 04 Onyx is the production company.
26:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. So Deli Boys. I'll tell you how I discovered Deli Boys.
26:16 Speaker 04 Okay, please.
26:17 Bobby Lee? You don't know the first time I discovered it?
26:18 Speaker 04 No.
26:19 Bobby Lee? You were there.
26:21 Speaker 04 Oh.
26:22 Bobby Lee? You know?
26:23 Speaker 04 Okay.
26:23 Bobby Lee? What?
26:24 Speaker 04 I don't know.
26:24 Bobby Lee? You don't know?
26:26 Speaker 04 I want you to say it.
26:26 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was at that, um, Asian gala. Do you remember?
26:31 Speaker 04 Gold House?
26:31 Bobby Lee? The Gold House Gala. Did you get invited this year?
26:33 Speaker 04 Shout out to the Gold House, yeah.
26:34 Bobby Lee? I wasn't.
26:35 Speaker 04 Hey, hold on, hold on, hold on. Is it because you were doing thumbs down?
26:39 Bobby Lee? It's thumbs down, man.
26:40 Speaker 04 You were doing thumbs down, doing certain, certain speeches?
26:44 Bobby Lee? I did thumbs down on yours.
26:45 Speaker 00 Wait, what?
26:46 Speaker 04 No, you didn't do it on mine!
26:47 Bobby Lee? Whose thumbs down did I do?
26:48 Speaker 04 You did it on somebody else.
26:49 Bobby Lee? I know. You saw me do it?
26:51 Speaker 04 I saw you do it. I looked at you.
26:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
26:53 Speaker 04 Somebody was performing.
26:53 Bobby Lee? Sometimes when I'm in a big gala or something, and people are getting awards, right? I'll just go...
26:59 Speaker 00 What'd you do it to?
27:00 Bobby Lee? I don't remember, but I'll just do it.
27:01 Speaker 04 And it was one of the funniest...
27:02 Bobby Lee? And I have to see, everyone watch. Everyone has to see me. Sometimes I'll stand, I'll go...
27:08 Speaker 04 And they're like, "We can't invite this man."
27:10 Bobby Lee? Okay.
27:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:12 Bobby Lee? Anyway.
27:12 Speaker 04 But it was fun. We wrestled.
27:13 Bobby Lee? The one year I did get invited, I went.
27:15 Speaker 04 We had a great time.
27:16 Bobby Lee? Well, I didn't. I wish I could say the same.
27:18 Speaker 04 Why not?
27:19 Bobby Lee? Because you know what table I was in?
27:20 Speaker 04 You were at the comedians' table.
27:21 Bobby Lee? No, that's not the comedians' table.
27:23 Speaker 04 You, Atsuko.
27:24 Bobby Lee? And others.
27:25 Speaker 04 Okay.
27:25 Bobby Lee? Okay?
27:26 Speaker 04 They asked me to...
27:27 Bobby Lee? Oh, let me ask you this. That's the table I was at, which is a great table.
27:30 Speaker 04 That's a good table. Come out, Val, Mark Cho.
27:32 Bobby Lee? But it's not the table.
27:34 Speaker 04 What is the table?
27:35 Bobby Lee? You saw the table.
27:36 Speaker 04 My table?
27:37 Bobby Lee? Well, you... That was one of them.
27:38 Speaker 04 Yeah, I know.
27:39 Speaker 03 The elite.
27:40 Speaker 04 It's pretty good, too.
27:41 Bobby Lee? Yeah, the elite table. And then there was another table with Steven Yeun, Michelle Yeoh, all those people.
27:44 Speaker 04 You weren't gonna get at that table.
27:46 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:46 Speaker 04 They weren't gonna have you at that table.
27:48 Bobby Lee? And this is what I want to talk about this podcast.
27:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:50 Bobby Lee? That energy.
27:50 Speaker 04 No, no, no. The reason why...
27:52 Bobby Lee? That energy is why we're here.
27:53 Speaker 04 No, no, no. The reason they don't want you...
27:56 Speaker 04 The reason they don't want you at that table...
27:58 Bobby Lee? Is I'm a loser.
27:59 Speaker 04 No, no, no. It's not because you're a loser. It's because you would get everybody else to do thumbs down, and they cannot have that many pictures.
28:06 Bobby Lee? I would get John Cho to do it.
28:07 Speaker 04 Yeah, they can't have Michelle Yeoh doing thumbs down.
28:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Who did a thumbs down? Do you know?
28:12 Speaker 04 Uh, I don't remember.
28:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, me either.
28:13 Speaker 04 Someone trying to be funny, I think.
28:16 Bobby Lee? I also want to say...
28:17 Speaker 04 But I also love that about you.
28:18 Bobby Lee? Asafali, give him a round of applause.
28:19 Speaker 04 Come on!
28:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, nice beard.
28:22 Speaker 04 Hey, thank you. Have you tried growing a beard?
28:24 Speaker 03 Uh, yeah, it's too patchy.
28:26 Speaker 04 Uh... But this thing you got going on is good, the little goatee thing?
28:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:29 Bobby Lee? What is this about making him feel better?
28:32 Speaker 04 I like making people feel... Like, you have a nice goatee thing, too.
28:34 Bobby Lee? That's the nicest I was talking about.
28:36 Speaker 04 Oh, you hate that.
28:37 Bobby Lee? Tell me something physically about myself that's negative.
28:40 Speaker 04 I think you have a perfect body.
28:41 Bobby Lee? No, no.
28:44 Bobby Lee? No, I just wanted to do an exercise. Let's do an exercise.
28:47 Speaker 04 Yeah.
28:47 Bobby Lee? If you can be critical.
28:49 Speaker 04 Oh, wow.
28:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
28:50 Speaker 04 Of you physically?
28:52 Bobby Lee? Just physically first. We can go into my fucking personality. We already did that.
28:56 Speaker 04 We'll go back to it.
28:56 Bobby Lee? Physically, because I don't know if you can.
28:59 Speaker 04 Okay, I will tell you something.
29:00 Bobby Lee? All right, I'll go.
29:01 Speaker 04 Okay, I feel like
29:04 Speaker 04 you don't prioritize your own health.
29:08 Speaker 03 Wow, pretty critical.
29:10 Bobby Lee? Wait, why?
29:11 Speaker 04 Because I feel, I'm getting an applause break, dude, that's so cool.
29:14 Speaker 03 The doctor.
29:15 Bobby Lee? From the doctor.
29:15 Speaker 04 The doctor approves of this.
29:16 Bobby Lee? Well, what is it?
29:17 Speaker 04 It's bedside manner.
29:18 Bobby Lee? This is new news to me.
29:19 Speaker 04 I feel like you're not exercising as much as you should to create longevity for this podcast. Look at all the people you employ. What happens if something happens to you?
29:28 Bobby Lee? This is not what I'm talking about. So you're, okay, what you're saying.
29:31 Speaker 03 He's getting serious.
29:32 Speaker 04 If something happens to you, what are they gonna, how are they gonna feed their kids? Do you guys have kids?
29:35 Bobby Lee? We're not talking, I love.
29:36 Speaker 04 He has kids. Do you have kids?
29:38 Speaker 03 I have a wife.
29:39 Speaker 04 He has a wife, dude, how's he gonna feed his wife?
29:41 Bobby Lee? So you think that when you see me backstage, I'm sloth-like?
29:44 Speaker 04 I don't think you're sloth-like, but the way you sit, like.
29:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
29:50 Speaker 04 Regardless of the chair.
29:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:52 Speaker 04 And it just shows that, you know, maybe your back is gonna give out pretty soon.
29:56 Bobby Lee? No, no, is, no, my back is strong.
29:58 Speaker 04 Your back is strong.
29:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, I can plow.
30:00 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:00 Speaker 04 You can plow?
30:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
30:01 Speaker 04 This sounds like my brother, this sounds like something of my brother.
30:03 Bobby Lee? Not with a fucking cattle, but, or whatever, or bull.
30:05 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
30:06 Bobby Lee? But with like a mongoose or something.
30:07 Speaker 04 You're plowing women.
30:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
30:09 Speaker 04 This is a response you've gotten?
30:11 Bobby Lee? Let's go physically about my face and my body.
30:14 Speaker 04 I just said that.
30:15 Bobby Lee? No, you're not, you're being very like.
30:16 Speaker 03 Real.
30:17 Bobby Lee? Real and helpful about it and giving me life advice. What I want is a real critical view of just my face.
30:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'll give you one.
30:25 Speaker 04 Okay.
30:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:26 Speaker 04 Okay.
30:27 Bobby Lee? Hyrius.
30:27 Speaker 04 Okay.
30:28 Speaker 03 I'm going by his new haircut.
30:29 Speaker 04 Okay, I think your new haircut is, doesn't suit you, I think you look like a fucking idiot.
30:33 Bobby Lee? Okay, see, you're not gonna.
30:35 Speaker 04 No, no, no.
30:35 Bobby Lee? You don't really believe that, that's why.
30:37 Speaker 04 I don't, I think, I think you're a cool guy.
30:38 Bobby Lee? Can I go in on you?
30:39 Speaker 04 No, no, not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet. Okay, how about this, you're, so you're used, like, you're built like a marshmallow. There we go.
30:47 Bobby Lee? I like it.
30:48 Speaker 04 Oh, you thought about that for a second?
30:49 Bobby Lee? I like it.
30:50 Speaker 04 You like it?
30:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:51 Speaker 04 Is that something you're going for, or you just like that it's rude?
30:54 Bobby Lee? See, now we're getting somewhere, now I'm getting angry, this is good.
30:57 Speaker 04 Okay, okay, okay, okay.
30:58 Bobby Lee? Okay.
30:59 Speaker 04 Okay, you're built like a marshmallow, I feel like people look at you and they just laugh at the idea of you. They're not even excited to see you, they're just like, oh, the idea of you.
31:08 Bobby Lee? That's not a physical thing.
31:10 Speaker 04 It is, they're just like, oh, this guy.
31:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that hurts, go ahead.
31:14 Speaker 04 And, and when they take a picture with you, they're like, can you believe it?
31:19 Bobby Lee? Okay.
31:19 Speaker 04 Can you believe it? Like, like, driving by, like, when someone takes a picture of, like, a car accident.
31:22 Bobby Lee? How many photos have you taken on my behalf?
31:25 Speaker 04 On your behalf?
31:26 Bobby Lee? Yeah, has a fan ever go, "Can you take a photo of me?"
31:28 Speaker 04 All the time.
31:29 Bobby Lee? Exactly.
31:29 Speaker 04 But it's always preceded-
31:30 Bobby Lee? So, fuck off.
31:31 Speaker 04 No, it's always preceded by them doing a horrific Asian accent. And then you having to tell a white frat guy to not do that, and then they feel bad, and then I take the photo, and it's a kid just, like, completely reeling-
31:44 Bobby Lee? I know!
31:45 Speaker 04 From their internal-
31:46 Bobby Lee? That's my fanbase!
31:47 Speaker 04 That's your fanbase.
31:47 Bobby Lee? They don't know any better! Yeah, they're from the sticks, they don't know any better.
31:51 Speaker 04 What percentage of your fanbase would unknowingly vote for you to get deported?
31:56 Bobby Lee? Oh, 50%.
31:57 Speaker 04 Yeah.
31:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, 50%.
31:58 Speaker 04 Yeah.
31:59 Bobby Lee? But I love them all.
32:00 Speaker 04 Yeah, we love them.
32:00 Bobby Lee? Right? Slep Kingdom.
32:04 Bobby Lee? Okay?
32:04 Speaker 04 Okay, now it's your turn, go on, go in on me.
32:06 Bobby Lee? Well, I mean, it's like this, it's like, you know, let's say, pose, um-
32:09 Speaker 04 So excited.
32:11 Bobby Lee? This is what God did, okay?
32:12 Speaker 04 Oh, not God did-
32:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, I wanna make two brothers.
32:15 Speaker 04 Okay.
32:15 Bobby Lee? Okay?
32:15 Speaker 04 Okay.
32:16 Bobby Lee? I have two canvases, right?
32:17 Speaker 03 Are you twins?
32:17 Bobby Lee? Right?
32:18 Speaker 04 No, we're not twins.
32:19 Bobby Lee? The same, so you, you, exactly, they're not, look at them. Oh, right, so basically, it's this, it's like, um, God went like this, I'm gonna use the same pieces, right, for the face-
32:30 Speaker 04 Yeah.
32:31 Bobby Lee? But I'm gonna arrange it in a different way.
32:32 Speaker 04 In a better way.
32:33 Bobby Lee? Right.
32:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
32:34 Bobby Lee? So he took, right, so he took your brother's, Ali, can I call you Ali? Ali, yeah. Yeah, Ali's face-
32:38 Speaker 04 Better jawline.
32:39 Bobby Lee? And went, okay, no, he took time.
32:41 Speaker 04 He took time, yeah.
32:41 Bobby Lee? The eyes, this is, seems correct, right, the nose, everything, the lips-
32:45 Speaker 04 Yeah, the chin.
32:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah, let's, let's go fucking Kardashian.
32:47 Speaker 04 He's got real DSLs on him.
32:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the hair, everything, right?
32:50 Speaker 04 Yeah.
32:51 Bobby Lee? And then, and then, somebody went to God and goes, "God, there's a tsunami, we gotta-" Right? And had, he had the other pieces, and he went, "Ugh!"
32:59 Speaker 04 Rush job.
32:59 Bobby Lee? And they went, and what?
33:00 Speaker 04 Rush job.
33:02 Bobby Lee? Is that Rush Job? Yeah. He put the eyes too close to each other.
33:06 Speaker 04 Yeah.
33:06 Speaker 03 There we go.
33:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you know, he, um, the noise too pointy, witch-like. You know what I mean?
33:13 Speaker 03 Is he an actor?
33:15 Speaker 04 Don't come back, don't do that!
33:16 Bobby Lee? He's the actor!
33:17 Speaker 04 He's the actor, you aside you are! I'm the actor!
33:20 Bobby Lee? As if, you're so cute, I don't even, I'm just-
33:22 Speaker 04 I'm the actor!
33:25 Speaker 04 He's merely a pharmacist.
33:28 Speaker 04 Who fucks more than, who fucks at a clip that people think that he's living, he's living the life that people think that I should be living.
33:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:37 Speaker 04 I wake up in the morning.
33:38 Bobby Lee? Leo range, Leo range of fucking.
33:40 Speaker 04 I'm studying, I'm trying to become a better actor, I'm trying to be a writer, I'm trying to do things.
33:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:45 Speaker 04 And then he goes, I, I'm a doctor, and then Indian girls love him too, Indian Pakistan girls, because they're like, he's, he's, he has, he comes to events, he comes to the Bobby Lee pod, he comes to Tiger, and then, and then he's also a doctor, that's a girl's dream, you're around all this cool stuff, you also have stability.
34:01 Bobby Lee? But guess what he doesn't have? Your, your talent.
34:04 Speaker 04 His sense of humor. He's pretty fucking talented.
34:06 Bobby Lee? No, whoa, whoa, whoa. Were you trying stand up at one point?
34:10 Speaker 04 I was, I was.
34:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's sad.
34:13 Speaker 04 Okay, this is good, let's team up. This is good, I'm back in the game. Backfire. Okay, now we're on the same side.
34:18 Bobby Lee? Here's the sad part.
34:19 Speaker 04 Okay, now we're on the same side.
34:20 Bobby Lee? The sad part is this, right?
34:21 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:22 Bobby Lee? And I don't know if this is love.
34:23 Speaker 04 It's been a huge fucking mistake.
34:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I don't, I don't know, LA, I don't know if this is love, right?
34:27 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:27 Bobby Lee? But you're, you know, you're, you're a pharmacist, you're making pretty good money, probably six figures.
34:31 Speaker 04 Parents are proud of him.
34:32 Bobby Lee? Parents are super proud of him, right? You're getting a lot of ladies, right? But then you look at your brother, your younger brother, correct?
34:39 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and goes, hey, wait a second, my younger brother's on a TV show? Right?
34:44 Speaker 04 He does talk like that.
34:45 Bobby Lee? I know. You know what I mean? And he's getting, you know what I mean, and he's killing in front of all these people, getting all this attention.
34:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, why do people like him?
34:51 Bobby Lee? I'm gonna do it too.
34:52 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:53 Bobby Lee? And it didn't work out, did it? You know why? Fundamentally, he's weaker.
34:58 Speaker 04 He's weaker, yeah.
34:59 Bobby Lee? He doesn't have the strength as you do.
35:01 Speaker 04 The internal fortitude.
35:02 Bobby Lee? Well, you need internal, internal fortitude to do stand up.
35:04 Speaker 04 Let's try that word again, let's take that back again, let's take it from the top. And action.
35:08 Bobby Lee? Wait, wait, first of all, let me say something.
35:09 Speaker 04 Yeah.
35:10 Bobby Lee? I've never had anyone on this podcast give me a line reading.
35:13 Speaker 04 But that's why I wanted to be on your show, I'm a real actor, I'm a real actor.
35:16 Bobby Lee? I don't even know the line that I was saying, give me the line again.
35:18 Speaker 04 One more time? Internal fortitude.
35:20 Bobby Lee? Ready? Internal forward.
35:22 Speaker 04 Come on, no, no, no, not forward to dude.
35:23 Bobby Lee? See, action, you didn't say action.
35:25 Speaker 04 You said internal forward to dude. Internal.
35:28 Bobby Lee? Say action, I'm gonna.
35:29 Speaker 04 Rolling, rolling, speeding, action.
35:32 Bobby Lee? Hey Frank.
35:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
35:34 Bobby Lee? You need internal fortitude.
35:35 Speaker 04 Hey, I love that.
35:37 Bobby Lee? What do you think of that?
35:37 Speaker 04 That's actually really good, and you put it in a period piece. By the way, I watched your short film, that was like nineteen, nineteen eighties New York.
35:44 Bobby Lee? That was two thousand twenty-nine.
35:45 Speaker 04 No, that felt like Bronx, Raging Bull. Like, yeah, like Scorsese kind of thing. I watched your short film, uh, uh, Death in Ramen.
35:55 Speaker 04 Can I tell you something? And, and, and I, and I thought you were great. And I, and I, and this is the first time in my life.
36:03 Bobby Lee? You have no idea what you're doing.
36:05 Speaker 04 I've read the comments.
36:06 Bobby Lee? You're, you're, yeah, go ahead.
36:07 Speaker 04 And I was like, I was hoping that there'd be some sick-ass burns in there. You know, because that's what we go to the comments for.
36:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:14 Speaker 04 All of the comments, there's not one negative comment. It's all just like, they're all like, "Oh my god, Bobby." And this is also kind of like a diss too. They're like, "Oh my god, Bobby, you can act." And it's like, "Yeah, you've been here for, you've been acting for..."
36:28 Speaker 00 Years.
36:29 Speaker 04 Thirty years. And they're all like, "Oh my god, Bobby, keep going." Like, you were like in a Make-A-Wish program or something like that. They're like, "Keep going, man. You can do it." They think you're on the edge. Do your fans think that you're gonna jump off a cliff or something?
36:40 Bobby Lee? Why, right now? I feel like jumping off right now.
36:42 Speaker 04 Yeah, because the comments, they make it seem like, "Hey, man, if you don't say nice things, he's gonna kill him."
36:46 Bobby Lee? No, here's the deal, okay?
36:48 Speaker 04 But it is very good and you did a great job.
36:49 Bobby Lee? You have no idea what you just stirred up.
36:51 Speaker 04 What did I stir up?
36:51 Speaker 00 You unlocked something.
36:52 Speaker 04 I unlocked what?
36:53 Bobby Lee? You unlocked a door that can never be shut again.
36:55 Speaker 04 You're a very talented guy.
36:56 Bobby Lee? No, no, no. And I'm gonna tell you the door that, that you had no information about.
37:00 Speaker 04 What happened?
37:01 Bobby Lee? I'm gonna tell you what it is, okay? So, the director of the short.
37:05 Speaker 04 Yeah.
37:06 Bobby Lee? You know, I did it for free.
37:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
37:08 Bobby Lee? Okay?
37:08 Speaker 04 That's huge to get something here talented.
37:10 Bobby Lee? And I thought I did a pretty good job.
37:11 Speaker 04 You did a great job, yeah. You and, uh...
37:13 Speaker 00 You deferred payment.
37:14 Speaker 04 You deferred payment.
37:14 Bobby Lee? I deferred payment.
37:15 Speaker 04 And Matt Jones also did a great job.
37:16 Bobby Lee? Matt Jones did a great job.
37:17 Speaker 04 Who played your, uh, mom?
37:19 Bobby Lee? I forgot her name.
37:19 Speaker 04 Oh, that was the one funny comment in the comment section. It was like, "Bobby did a great job, but I, I just wish I had casted Andrew as Bobby's mom." And I was like, "Come on, man."
37:26 Bobby Lee? That's a funny joke.
37:27 Speaker 04 That's a funny joke, but...
37:28 Bobby Lee? Can we go to the controversy?
37:29 Speaker 04 Yeah, let's get into it, yeah.
37:29 Bobby Lee? All right, so during the production of this thing, you know what I mean?
37:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
37:33 Bobby Lee? Um, the director was just like, you know, I mean, "I can't wait to, this is a movie, this and that."
37:37 Speaker 04 Oh, he wanted to make it into a full-length.
37:38 Bobby Lee? A full-featured length, right. And then I was at the Renaissance Fair with my friends.
37:43 Speaker 04 You do that?
37:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah. I did twice this year.
37:46 Speaker 04 Oh, cool. I've never been before. I'm not, I'm not judging you. I just think it's dumb and a weird thing to do. And I think it's kind of like, kind of like, downplays all of this, you know, real like, I'm a closer type energy, you know what I mean? Okay.
38:01 Bobby Lee? Andrea Jin?
38:02 Speaker 04 I take it back, that's very cool.
38:03 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's a fun time.
38:04 Speaker 04 It's a fun time.
38:05 Bobby Lee? Okay, anyway, that was the day, and Andrea Jin goes, um, because her, someone that she's seeing is a part of the business.
38:13 Speaker 04 Classic.
38:14 Bobby Lee? And she was saying, "Oh, so, isn't that weird that they didn't cast you in the movie?" And I go, "What?" Yeah, she goes, "They got a gigantic budget, and they, and then I found out who they, they recast me."
38:28 Speaker 04 Are you serious?
38:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and so then me and, we talked about it, I'm bad friends, we did a-
38:33 Speaker 04 Oh my-
38:34 Bobby Lee? We did a spell on the guy, right, and then all of a sudden, there became a little war between agencies, it was a really tough thing, and I, I, and, and in retrospect, I want people to watch Tiger's movie, because I think he's super talented, and I get it, I get why he recast me.
38:51 Speaker 04 I don't.
38:52 Bobby Lee? He's a better actor than the guy they got.
38:53 Speaker 04 No, that's not true.
38:54 Bobby Lee? He's from, um-
38:55 Speaker 04 That's not true.
38:56 Bobby Lee? He's from White Lotus.
38:57 Speaker 04 I disagree.
38:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, hold on, I have to itch my head.
39:00 Speaker 04 Why, you can't have that on camera?
39:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah, uh-
39:04 Speaker 04 What is this, what kind of, kind of image are you trying to protect right now?
39:07 Bobby Lee? It was super hurtful when I found out, but, in retrospect, I, I felt like I overreacted, and-
39:14 Speaker 04 I don't think you ever reacted.
39:15 Bobby Lee? And I think Tiger's super talented.
39:16 Speaker 04 Sure.
39:17 Bobby Lee? And I hope that the movie is a success.
39:19 Speaker 04 Can I disagree with you, on several counts?
39:22 Bobby Lee? That's why I'm here.
39:23 Speaker 04 I don't think that whoever they cast is better than you, because you already did proof of concept, you already did the thing, you played the character, you are the reason he got funding, so if you did bad, they would, he wouldn't have gotten a budget to make the feature-length movie. So you inherently are good enough to-
39:40 Bobby Lee? Could it be, could it be this, though?
39:41 Speaker 04 What?
39:42 Bobby Lee? The direction's good, we just didn't like the lead.
39:45 Speaker 04 I don't think so.
39:46 Bobby Lee? Okay, well, there's so many arguments that can be had.
39:48 Speaker 04 I can guarantee you, you are more famous than the person that they hired.
39:53 Bobby Lee? Okay.
39:54 Speaker 04 And what is Hollywood now than a series of collections of famous people and projects?
39:59 Bobby Lee? Okay, I'm gonna say, at first, I have to be honest, it was hurtful.
40:03 Speaker 04 Of course.
40:03 Bobby Lee? And I was a little angry.
40:04 Speaker 04 I'm pissed right now, you have, yeah.
40:07 Bobby Lee? And I, I'm here making my peace with the director.
40:10 Speaker 04 I don't think you should ever make peace.
40:13 Bobby Lee? Please, you're making it hard!
40:15 Speaker 04 I don't think you should make-
40:16 Bobby Lee? I'll ask if you're making it hard for me to make peace!
40:18 Speaker 04 No Bobby, I think what you should do instead is take this feeling-
40:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
40:22 Speaker 04 And instead of just being like, "Whatever, it is what it is, this guy's better than me and that's what the world is" Because that's how you feel like this business has treated you for all these years, you feel like that they've beaten you down And they've made you feel like you're not worthy and you're not worth it, you should use that energy And use all these people, whos- families that you're providing, you know, you're putting this guy's wife through Medical school or whatever the fuck his wife is doing, his kids are- how old are your kids?
40:48 Bobby Lee? Two and four.
40:49 Speaker 04 Two and four, you're putting his kids through school right now. No, no, no, and I want you to know this. I want you to know this Bobby, because I'm sick of this shit, okay? You need to take this energy and you need to make your own shit. You need to make your own movie.
41:01 Bobby Lee? You know that-
41:02 Speaker 04 Make your own movie!
41:03 Bobby Lee? You know that thing you're not in? I made that!
41:04 Speaker 04 Yeah, but that's-
41:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:07 Speaker 04 But that's a cartoon!
41:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:09 Speaker 04 That's a cartoon!
41:09 Bobby Lee? I have four things, that's why I'm not that mad. I have four things really good happening.
41:14 Speaker 04 What?
41:14 Bobby Lee? Huge, I can't tell you.
41:15 Speaker 04 Why can't you tell me?
41:16 Speaker 00 He wants to get it.
41:17 Speaker 04 Let me audition for these things!
41:19 Bobby Lee? I have four really good things in the fucking, in the oven.
41:22 Speaker 04 In the pipeline?
41:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and they're real legit, great things, I'm very excited about it. I just don't like, you know what I mean, um, I don't like being bamboozled-
41:31 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:32 Bobby Lee? And tricked, and used.
41:34 Speaker 04 Well, I have a short film that I would love for you to be in.
41:36 Bobby Lee? I would do it. I would literally do any short with you.
41:38 Speaker 04 Oh, really?
41:39 Bobby Lee? Really?
41:39 Speaker 04 Even if we shoot at the Goldcunder Fort in Heatherbud?
41:43 Bobby Lee? Honestly, if you had a good sho- I love doing shorts.
41:45 Speaker 04 Okay.
41:46 Bobby Lee? If you ever-
41:47 Speaker 04 If I had a good idea, you would be in it?
41:48 Bobby Lee? I would help you write it.
41:49 Speaker 04 Wow.
41:50 Bobby Lee? Let's do one.
41:51 Speaker 04 This is, this is, this is a promise.
41:52 Bobby Lee? Let's do one.
41:53 Speaker 00 It's on camera.
41:53 Bobby Lee? And Seven Eckes can produce it.
41:55 Speaker 04 Will you pinky promise me on this? Okay, deal. Alright, that's a deal.
41:59 Bobby Lee? So what would you do in this situation?
42:00 Speaker 04 I would be absolutely livid. I've given you my time, I've lent you my name and my celebrity, if I was as famous as you-
42:09 Bobby Lee? Hmm.
42:09 Speaker 04 I wouldn't even do a short film without asking for- Hallelujah! 100% control-
42:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
42:16 Speaker 04 Of like, if I'm not getting money-
42:17 Bobby Lee? And Matt Jones, you're gonna replace Matt Jones?
42:19 Speaker 04 They replaced Matt too!
42:21 Bobby Lee? Oh, you think they're gonna only replace me and Matt?
42:24 Speaker 04 Yeah!
42:24 Speaker 00 That was a reveal.
42:25 Speaker 04 Because I think, because I think replacing the lead to them is an easier way to secure funding and then everybody else-
42:31 Bobby Lee? Look up the guy, we don't wanna say his name, but look up the guy that did replace me.
42:35 Speaker 04 Glenn Powell.
42:35 Bobby Lee? No, not Glenn.
42:36 Speaker 04 Unbelievable!
42:37 Bobby Lee? The general.
42:38 Speaker 04 They got Glenn Powell?
42:39 Bobby Lee? Cindy McCain.
42:41 Speaker 04 You know, I auditioned for his part in White Lotus and I didn't get it?
42:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
42:44 Speaker 00 Ah.
42:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:46 Speaker 04 Which I get.
42:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so I, now, once I looked him up, I'm like, okay, I get it.
42:51 Speaker 04 Why? Just because he's a hot guy?
42:53 Bobby Lee? What?
42:53 Speaker 00 Can we get him on the pod? I like him.
42:55 Speaker 04 Hey, hey, wait, wait, what's going on here? Turn around, look at my brother for a second.
42:57 Speaker 00 He's hot!
42:58 Speaker 04 There's hot people around you, dude.
42:59 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
42:59 Speaker 04 Be appreciative of the one right behind you.
43:03 Bobby Lee? I don't know.
43:03 Speaker 04 Have you ever spoken to him?
43:04 Bobby Lee? No, I don't know, he lives in England.
43:06 Speaker 04 So, you have the internet? What are you talking about? Like, you have to send a letter or something like that?
43:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
43:09 Speaker 04 What are you talking about?
43:10 Bobby Lee? My doves, my doves don't fly that far.
43:12 Speaker 04 My homie pigeons just don't have that kind of range. What do you want me to do? I want you to send him a DM right now.
43:17 Bobby Lee? No!
43:18 Speaker 04 Internal...
43:20 Bobby Lee? Diarrhea.
43:20 Speaker 04 Okay, okay.
43:21 Bobby Lee? No, what is it?
43:22 Speaker 04 This is, this is what I would do if it was me. If I, if I was to...
43:24 Bobby Lee? Internal what?
43:24 Speaker 04 Internal fortitude, okay?
43:25 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, fortitude.
43:26 Speaker 04 All right. No, no, no, no, no, no, come on.
43:29 Bobby Lee? Hey!
43:30 Speaker 04 Action.
43:32 Bobby Lee? We're doing the thing again?
43:33 Speaker 04 Yeah, internal fortitude.
43:34 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah. Hey, Joe.
43:35 Speaker 04 Yeah.
43:36 Bobby Lee? You need to have internal fortitude.
43:38 Speaker 04 That's so good!
43:39 Bobby Lee? I can't say that, I don't think, in a regular, my voice.
43:41 Speaker 04 Okay, try it in your regular voice.
43:43 Bobby Lee? I see, I see.
43:44 Speaker 04 Okay, okay. Um, let's do a scene where, like...
43:46 Bobby Lee? That's what we're doing.
43:47 Speaker 04 No, no, no, but what's gonna be...
43:48 Bobby Lee? You want lines too?
43:49 Speaker 04 No, no, we're gonna do a scene where, like...
43:50 Bobby Lee? I want you to have lines.
43:51 Speaker 04 I'll have lines too.
43:52 Bobby Lee? You play Joe.
43:53 Speaker 04 Okay, I'll play Joe, okay, okay, okay, yeah. And we're just regular guys, we don't have to be in the mob.
43:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I'm gonna be like, let's, we're in a Minecraft team. I don't know how Minecraft works.
44:02 Speaker 04 No, no, no, this is, no...
44:03 Bobby Lee? No, we're playing Dungeons and Dragons.
44:04 Speaker 04 We're playing Dungeons and Dragons, okay.
44:06 Bobby Lee? I don't know how it's played.
44:07 Speaker 04 I don't know how it's played either. Why are we picking things that we don't have?
44:09 Bobby Lee? That's about it, let's try, let's try, say, action.
44:11 Speaker 04 All right, action.
44:12 Bobby Lee? Well, I think the dragon goes into that layer, and I think there's a magic spell on it.
44:16 Speaker 04 I don't know, I think, I think if you move this over here with the cape, I think that'll have, like, more of a returning, you gotta have...
44:21 Bobby Lee? But it's my turn.
44:21 Speaker 04 You gotta have a little bit more internal fortitude, honestly.
44:23 Bobby Lee? You think I need internal fortitude?
44:25 Speaker 04 Oh, boy. We gotta take that back again. Should we do a different location?
44:29 Speaker 00 Fartitude.
44:30 Speaker 04 You said fartitude.
44:30 Bobby Lee? I did?
44:31 Speaker 04 Yeah.
44:32 Bobby Lee? Fuck, dude, fuck!
44:33 Speaker 04 Dude, I'm, bro, let me, let me tutor you.
44:36 Bobby Lee? Give me a s- no, don't, don't tutor me.
44:38 Speaker 04 Bro, let me tutor you.
44:38 Bobby Lee? Don't tutor.
44:39 Speaker 04 Bro, let me live with him and tutor you.
44:40 Bobby Lee? You, you say action, you make up an improv, I think that's a play.
44:44 Speaker 04 Okay.
44:44 Bobby Lee? I don't even know what the improv is.
44:45 Speaker 04 Okay, okay, go, go, go, go.
44:46 Bobby Lee? And go.
44:46 Speaker 04 Okay.
44:46 Speaker 00 And, action.
44:49 Speaker 04 Bobby, it's been three years.
44:50 Bobby Lee? My god, I've been writing you letters. You know what?
44:54 Speaker 04 What?
44:55 Bobby Lee? Lethy.
44:56 Speaker 04 Lethy?
44:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah. I need more internal fortitude.
45:00 Speaker 04 That was good!
45:01 Speaker 00 That was good.
45:02 Speaker 04 That was good. I think it's just you need some emotion behind it that then really gets the...
45:06 Bobby Lee? All right, let's do a more real emotional.
45:07 Speaker 04 Let's do another one, okay, okay. I'm pregnant.
45:12 Bobby Lee? Dave, what?
45:13 Speaker 04 They said it couldn't happen, but here I am.
45:16 Bobby Lee? You needed more internal fortitude.
45:18 Speaker 04 That's good. It's the emotion is key.
45:20 Bobby Lee? It's the emotional for me. I can't say it regularly.
45:22 Speaker 04 Damn, you're so good, dude.
45:25 Bobby Lee? Let's, and action.
45:26 Speaker 03 That's the best.
45:27 Bobby Lee? Wait, we're not, we're doing our first lines first.
45:29 Speaker 04 Yeah, we're doing our first lines.
45:31 Speaker 03 What do you want me to say?
45:31 Speaker 04 Should we arrest him?
45:32 Bobby Lee? Well, just try to figure out the two things that we were saying and put it into a thing, but after we talk.
45:37 Speaker 04 And then just say internal fortitude at some point at the end of your sentence.
45:40 Bobby Lee? And then just, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. And action.
45:42 Speaker 04 Fucking lock it. Five, four, three, two, action.
45:45 Bobby Lee? Dave, this is our fifth house. We're looking at, are you sure? I mean, this is a new real estate agent, but...
45:49 Speaker 04 Honey, listen, what we have to do?
45:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
45:51 Speaker 04 Is get a place. I'm sick of living with your in-laws, okay? I'm sick of it.
45:55 Bobby Lee? Wait, and also, can you, wait, wait, hold on, hold on, sir.
45:57 Speaker 04 Excuse me, sir? Hold the fuck on, sir.
45:59 Bobby Lee? Will you stop?
46:00 Speaker 03 Listen, I got, I got...
46:02 Speaker 04 Hey, I got other buyers. Excuse me, sir? Sir?
46:05 Bobby Lee? Anyway, let them talk, let them talk.
46:07 Speaker 03 I have other buyers trying to buy this freaking house.
46:11 Speaker 04 This guy's drunk. This real estate...
46:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Anyway, and what are you saying?
46:14 Speaker 04 What are you saying?
46:15 Speaker 03 I got other buyers that want to buy this.
46:17 Speaker 04 You have other buyers?
46:18 Speaker 03 I have a speech impediment. Are you gonna buy this house or not?
46:20 Speaker 04 Am I gonna buy this?
46:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so...
46:23 Speaker 04 Say the line, say the line, hi.
46:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys are giving me internal fluids.
46:30 Speaker 03 Wait, what is the word again?
46:31 Speaker 04 We're gonna have to recast, dude. We're gonna have to recast.
46:33 Bobby Lee? Did you really forget?
46:34 Speaker 04 Did you really forget it?
46:35 Speaker 03 No, yes, kind of.
46:36 Speaker 04 It's internal, so we'll try to get, we'll try to get, I'm sorry.
46:38 Speaker 03 Wait, what's it gonna?
46:38 Speaker 04 Internal?
46:40 Speaker 03 Internal?
46:40 Speaker 04 Fortitude.
46:41 Speaker 03 Fortitude.
46:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but we, we, we're gonna let the scene bleed out.
46:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
46:45 Bobby Lee? Because I don't want you to be thinking about the word. I want you to just come out organically, all right?
46:48 Speaker 04 And then just have it organic.
46:49 Bobby Lee? Another, another...
46:50 Speaker 04 It's gonna be a different scene now.
46:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
46:51 Speaker 04 Okay, here we go. Five, four, three, two, action.
46:53 Bobby Lee? Sir, I bought this ticket online.
46:56 Speaker 04 And I'm gonna need you to calm down.
46:57 Bobby Lee? Okay.
46:58 Speaker 04 Okay? Just because I work at the DMV does not mean that you can disrespect me like this.
47:01 Bobby Lee? Sir, I know, but I've been waiting in this line for three hours.
47:04 Speaker 04 What number, what number does it say?
47:05 Bobby Lee? 3,642.
47:07 Speaker 04 Yeah, we're at 26.
47:08 Bobby Lee? Oh, my God.
47:09 Speaker 04 We're at 26 right now.
47:10 Bobby Lee? Let me talk to your manager.
47:10 Speaker 04 Okay, I'm gonna get my manager.
47:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:12 Speaker 03 What's going on, Mohammed?
47:14 Bobby Lee? Wow, wow. That's her name? It says Cliff on your...
47:18 Speaker 04 We have to let it ride. We have to let it ride.
47:20 Bobby Lee? Well, anyway, Mohammed.
47:22 Speaker 04 We have a friendship. We have a friendship. It's like our pet names for each other.
47:26 Bobby Lee? Anyway, what's your name, sir?
47:27 Speaker 03 Cliff.
47:28 Bobby Lee? Oh, you're Cliff? What are you...
47:30 Speaker 04 It's a fun bit that we do at the DMV.
47:33 Bobby Lee? Oh, I see the Mohammed on your shirt.
47:35 Speaker 04 It's a fun bit we do here.
47:36 Bobby Lee? Okay.
47:37 Speaker 04 He's number 26 and he's pissed.
47:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, so I'm 3,226, but online, they said, anyway, so.
47:43 Speaker 03 Someone, Mohammed, take a five, Mohammed.
47:44 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, so what's the problem, sir?
47:46 Speaker 03 You are out of control, you're becoming internal fluid.
47:53 Speaker 00 You're really forgetting.
47:54 Speaker 03 Fortitude.
47:57 Speaker 04 Get out the chopper, the fortitude.
48:00 Speaker 03 Get to the chopper.
48:03 Bobby Lee? Did you really forget?
48:04 Speaker 04 Bro.
48:04 Bobby Lee? Bro, did you really forget?
48:06 Speaker 04 You have a family, they're watching this.
48:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, you have to do it.
48:09 Speaker 04 You don't have a family?
48:09 Speaker 03 Of course.
48:11 Bobby Lee? Internal fortitude.
48:13 Speaker 03 Internal fortitude.
48:14 Speaker 04 You got it, bro.
48:15 Bobby Lee? So, think of this, think this, okay? Let's try to get his mind wrapped around it.
48:18 Speaker 00 I like how you're tutoring him now with the word.
48:20 Bobby Lee? I, I, I know, so, um.
48:21 Speaker 04 For a guy that just learned how to say it, this is incredible to see.
48:24 Bobby Lee? Hey, fuck you, alright?
48:25 Speaker 04 This is how information gets.
48:27 Bobby Lee? So just think about your insides.
48:29 Speaker 04 Internal?
48:29 Bobby Lee? Internal, yeah. Alright, you got that right. So think of Fortnite.
48:33 Speaker 03 Fortitude.
48:34 Bobby Lee? Think of fortitude.
48:35 Speaker 04 There you go, like a fort with attitude. Fortitude.
48:38 Bobby Lee? This is gonna be the last improv we do on internal fortitude, ladies and gentlemen, I promise you, okay?
48:44 Speaker 04 No, the people at home love this.
48:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
48:46 Speaker 04 Here we go, rolling and action.
48:49 Bobby Lee? Listen, I know you wanna be the a cappella, the lead, in the play.
48:53 Speaker 04 I'm a, I, I feel like my tenor brings the sort of, you know.
48:59 Bobby Lee? But you're not.
48:59 Speaker 04 The Genesee quoi to our group, it's the glue of the a cappella group.
49:04 Bobby Lee? I get it, but like, um.
49:05 Speaker 04 And I know I'm a freshman, I know I'm a freshman and I don't have seniority here.
49:08 Bobby Lee? But we have a kid here, Toto, who can say that.
49:12 Speaker 04 Did he just make a noise?
49:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
49:14 Speaker 04 Did Toto just make a noise?
49:15 Bobby Lee? Well, he's vocal exercising.
49:16 Speaker 04 He's vocal, he's warming up.
49:17 Bobby Lee? He's a native and he's vocal exercising.
49:19 Speaker 04 Okay.
49:19 Bobby Lee? His name's Toto.
49:20 Speaker 04 Okay, so, but the thing is, is I.
49:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
49:23 Speaker 04 I feel like I should take his spot.
49:25 Bobby Lee? Excuse me, anyway.
49:26 Speaker 04 I feel like I deserve his spot because I'm a better.
49:28 Bobby Lee? You do, Mohammed?
49:29 Speaker 04 Yes.
49:32 Speaker 04 Yes, I feel like.
49:33 Bobby Lee? Okay.
49:34 Speaker 04 I feel like this has come up before and I feel like the fans and our audience prefer me.
49:38 Bobby Lee? Anyway, so, Toto, sing the a cappella that we were, that, it was amazing.
49:42 Speaker 04 Yeah, sing that phrase that we love to do.
49:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
49:48 Speaker 04 Fucking lock in, Toto. This is why I think I should take your spot.
49:51 Bobby Lee? I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.
49:52 Speaker 03 I have inter fortitude.
49:57 Bobby Lee? That's close enough.
49:58 Speaker 03 Get to the chappus now. Cause I'm so, I heard what he did.
50:05 Speaker 04 I can't believe, I can't believe you do this several times. This is crazy.
50:10 Bobby Lee? Every Monday.
50:11 Speaker 04 Every Monday. This is crazy. This is crazy.
50:15 Bobby Lee? You know, it's cause he did it. It's literally embarrassing.
50:18 Speaker 03 Why?
50:19 Bobby Lee? Like, I'm blushing. I'm so ashamed.
50:21 Speaker 03 It's cause he did, uh, Arne Soschenegger, um.
50:23 Speaker 04 Swarso what?
50:24 Bobby Lee? Slusha? Whoa, dude, don't ever say that actor's name. Um, um, you said inter fortitude.
50:30 Speaker 04 He said.
50:30 Speaker 03 I said internal.
50:32 Speaker 04 Ooh, sassy.
50:33 Bobby Lee? So say it, say it right now.
50:34 Speaker 03 Internal fortitude.
50:35 Bobby Lee? Oh, very good.
50:36 Speaker 04 Wow, okay. So he's the opposite.
50:38 Bobby Lee? We're never gonna say that.
50:39 Speaker 04 He needs no emotion.
50:39 Bobby Lee? We're never gonna say that term again for the rest of the podcast.
50:42 Speaker 04 Okay, just at the very end.
50:43 Bobby Lee? It's the very, yeah, let's do it at the very end.
50:45 Speaker 04 At the very, very end.
50:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we'll sing a song with it.
50:47 Speaker 04 Yeah, okay, so I, I, so I will say, the thing that does, it does make me mad that you weren't consulted ahead of time of like, here's the, the healthy way to do it, would be like, hey.
50:56 Bobby Lee? Okay, this is the good argument.
50:57 Speaker 04 This is the good argument would have been like, hey, I am doing this as a short in the interest of using this as like a sort of pitch to make a feature. And I would love if it was you guys, but I know how the system works and there's a reality in which, that in order to get funding, I might, I may not even be able to direct the thing.
51:19 Bobby Lee? Okay.
51:20 Speaker 04 So, we don't know who we're gonna be.
51:22 Bobby Lee? The whole thing about me doing the movie is the whole pitch of me doing the short.
51:27 Speaker 04 Oh.
51:28 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean? So I would have never done the short if it was, there was something, something else beyond it.
51:34 Speaker 04 Okay, if we did a short film together, what do you, what would it be about? What, what would you like to do with me?
51:40 Speaker 03 Those improv scenarios.
51:41 Speaker 04 Yeah. DMV, DMV.
51:42 Bobby Lee? No. Um.
51:45 Speaker 04 I think what would be really cool for us to do.
51:46 Bobby Lee? Opening shot is this.
51:47 Speaker 04 Okay, let's hear it.
51:48 Bobby Lee? I just envisioned it. We're in the desert.
51:50 Speaker 04 We're in the desert.
51:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah. What?
51:53 Speaker 04 No, I just feel like.
51:54 Bobby Lee? No, it's not, it's not an Indian thing.
51:56 Speaker 04 I just feel like it's going there, like you're gonna. Exterior, Heatherbun.
52:01 Bobby Lee? It literally isn't.
52:02 Speaker 04 Okay.
52:02 Bobby Lee? No, we're in like, um.
52:04 Speaker 04 Like Nevada or?
52:05 Bobby Lee? No, no, like Joshua Tree.
52:06 Speaker 04 Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
52:07 Bobby Lee? And we're digging a hole.
52:09 Speaker 04 Oh, shit.
52:10 Bobby Lee? The opening scene.
52:11 Speaker 04 Okay.
52:11 Bobby Lee? And we've been, we're sweating.
52:13 Speaker 04 We've been digging.
52:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we've been digging.
52:14 Speaker 04 Okay.
52:14 Bobby Lee? Things that are, we're fighting. And it basically, you're not here, dude.
52:18 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
52:19 Bobby Lee? Right?
52:19 Speaker 04 Yeah.
52:20 Bobby Lee? And I have some sort of map.
52:22 Speaker 04 Uh huh.
52:22 Bobby Lee? Right? I go. You mean, the cliff that looks like a dragon, you know what I mean?
52:27 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
52:27 Bobby Lee? This retreat, right?
52:28 Speaker 04 Yeah.
52:29 Bobby Lee? And that's the opening scene.
52:31 Speaker 04 Okay.
52:31 Bobby Lee? Right? We found the map.
52:33 Speaker 04 Uh huh.
52:33 Bobby Lee? You were given it to, you were given the map.
52:35 Speaker 04 Yeah.
52:36 Bobby Lee? When your grandfather died as an inheritance. But we didn't know it was a map. Basically, he gave you a little, um, wooden kind of horsey toy thing that you liked as a kid.
52:47 Speaker 04 Uh huh, uh huh.
52:48 Bobby Lee? And all, and all your family members got like real money and this and that.
52:52 Speaker 04 So I was mad at that.
52:53 Bobby Lee? So you and I are getting high one night.
52:54 Speaker 04 Yeah.
52:54 Bobby Lee? Right? And you're like, fuck, I got this, and you threw it, but inside was this map.
52:59 Speaker 04 That's like signed by my grandpa.
53:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and he goes, he goes, um.
53:04 Speaker 04 For?
53:04 Bobby Lee? The like, it's some, it's some ambiguous thing that we don't even know what it means yet.
53:08 Speaker 04 Dear Mohammed.
53:09 Bobby Lee? No, not even that, like, yeah, whatever your name is.
53:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
53:12 Bobby Lee? John, let's just call you John.
53:13 Speaker 04 Okay.
53:15 Bobby Lee? No, I'm not gonna go racial on it. I feel like once I said desert, you're out.
53:19 Speaker 04 I was, no, no, I'm in, I'm fully locked in now. No, I'm locked.
53:22 Bobby Lee? Jungle then.
53:22 Speaker 04 No, no, no, I'm locked into the desert. I'm locked into the desert.
53:24 Bobby Lee? Okay, all right, all right.
53:25 Speaker 04 I'm locked into the desert.
53:26 Bobby Lee? We're in Joshua Tree, right?
53:27 Speaker 04 Yes, yes, yes, yes.
53:28 Bobby Lee? And it's something.
53:28 Speaker 03 Comedy?
53:30 Speaker 04 Hey, don't do that.
53:31 Speaker 03 No, is this comedy or drama?
53:33 Speaker 04 Actually, you know what? We should do something that's like. Drama, cuz I think our people need to.
53:39 Bobby Lee? I got another premise then.
53:40 Speaker 04 Okay.
53:40 Bobby Lee? Okay.
53:42 Speaker 04 Like, see, I want us, I want people to look at us and be like, wow, I thought I knew them, but now it's, I don't even know, like, they're completely, they're, they're artists now.
53:50 Bobby Lee? Here's, here's, it's, it's this, okay, you're down on your luck, you live in Phoenix.
53:54 Speaker 04 Fuck, where I grew up, fuck.
53:56 Bobby Lee? Right, your wife left you, two kids, right, I live in Long Beach.
54:00 Speaker 04 Yeah.
54:01 Bobby Lee? You and I were friends growing up.
54:02 Speaker 04 Yeah.
54:02 Bobby Lee? Still best friends.
54:03 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
54:04 Bobby Lee? One day you call me and you go, I don't have any money to get back to Long Beach, I wanna stay, I wanna stay with my parents.
54:09 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
54:10 Bobby Lee? So I drive all the way to Phoenix to pick you up.
54:13 Speaker 04 Yeah.
54:13 Bobby Lee? Okay?
54:14 Speaker 04 Yeah.
54:14 Bobby Lee? It's now seven, eight, eight P M, and we're driving, you know, when you go out from Phoenix to L A, there's a remote.
54:20 Speaker 04 Yes.
54:21 Bobby Lee? Right, where there's nothing, mountains, right? And then we see a light above us.
54:27 Speaker 04 Uh-huh.
54:28 Bobby Lee? Right?
54:28 Speaker 04 Yeah.
54:29 Bobby Lee? And it's a really aggressive, um, aliens. That are trying to, um, capture us for probing.
54:39 Speaker 04 To what, in what end? What end are they probing us with? Be honest with me, your first, your first thought, was it a butt probe?
54:47 Bobby Lee? Well, you and I will be on, in the short.
54:49 Speaker 04 I thought you were gonna say, okay, on all fours?
54:52 Bobby Lee? No, we're gonna be on our stomachs completely naked on a metal, like, futuristic sci-fi kind of table, right? And there are probes sticking out of our butt, okay?
55:02 Speaker 04 And you think that someone's gonna be, you think our reps are gonna be like, yeah, get him on, get him on the new season of, of, of some intense drama?
55:10 Bobby Lee? I'm just throwing, I'm spitballing here, baby. You give me a premise.
55:13 Speaker 04 Okay, okay, here's, here's, here's one that I think.
55:15 Bobby Lee? You have one?
55:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
55:16 Bobby Lee? Or let, let, yeah, yeah.
55:18 Speaker 04 No, no, you go first, I wanna hear yours.
55:19 Bobby Lee? Go, go, we wanna hear yours.
55:20 Speaker 03 All right, you guys are two roommates, thirty years old.
55:23 Speaker 04 Okay, so we're gonna have a lot of fucking makeup, C G I, like the Irish.
55:27 Bobby Lee? How do you know?
55:29 Speaker 04 I'm 55.
55:30 Bobby Lee? No, how old are you?
55:31 Speaker 04 I'm 37.
55:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you look 30.
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56:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's what I said. But I wanna, I wanna, I wanna look like I'm 20 in this short. That way we can have some leeway. You know they're making new James Bond movies?
56:15 Speaker 03 With who?
56:16 Bobby Lee? You know what you are, dude? I just realized. You're a climber.
56:19 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
56:20 Bobby Lee? You're a climber, right?
56:21 Speaker 04 Why do you think I'm here, dude?
56:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Interesting.
56:24 Speaker 04 They told me that if I was on here, I would sell maybe four to six more tickets on the road.
56:30 Bobby Lee? You might.
56:30 Speaker 04 And I'm holding them to that.
56:31 Bobby Lee? You might.
56:32 Speaker 04 And I'm holding them to that. Oh, no, no, let's hear it, let's hear it.
56:34 Speaker 03 So, y'all roommates in LA?
56:35 Speaker 04 Yeah, we're cool roommates.
56:36 Speaker 03 In Los Angeles. And this is a comedy short.
56:40 Speaker 04 Okay.
56:40 Speaker 03 And you guys are two Uber drivers. You're an Uber, he's a Lyft.
56:43 Speaker 04 And what's my character's name in this?
56:45 Speaker 03 Zack.
56:46 Speaker 04 Oh, okay. I'm back on bar.
56:47 Bobby Lee? Thank you. Thank you, Jaime.
56:49 Speaker 03 And John.
56:51 Speaker 04 Not working John.
56:52 Speaker 03 Working title.
56:52 Bobby Lee? Thank you, Jaime.
56:53 Speaker 04 Zack and John is a working title of the...
56:55 Speaker 03 Of the movie?
56:56 Speaker 04 Okay, cool, cool, cool.
56:57 Speaker 03 And, um, yeah, I just Ubered, just trying to make a buy. You're in love with his sister.
57:02 Bobby Lee? I'm in love with his sister?
57:03 Speaker 03 Yeah.
57:03 Bobby Lee? Okay, that's nice.
57:04 Speaker 04 You would be.
57:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah. And what's he? Is he a gay? What's going on?
57:08 Speaker 03 He's not gay, he's straight.
57:09 Bobby Lee? All right, so I'm Lyft driver, he's an Uber driver. I'm in love with his sister. What happened?
57:13 Speaker 03 And the whole day, y'all trying to like... You're trying to get with his sister?
57:17 Speaker 04 You're trying to fuck my sister, dude?
57:19 Bobby Lee? In the movie, in the short.
57:20 Speaker 03 But most of the place takes in, uh, at the Uber, uh, station and at AXS Airport.
57:26 Speaker 04 The parking lot?
57:27 Speaker 03 Yeah.
57:28 Speaker 04 But I never pick anybody up?
57:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys are terrible and you guys never pick up.
57:34 Speaker 04 And my sister's just in the car with me? She's like my cop?
57:36 Speaker 03 No, he's talking to you, but hey, what's, what's...
57:38 Speaker 04 What's up with your sister?
57:39 Bobby Lee? Well, just two guys in a car, basically, talking.
57:41 Speaker 03 No, one, two cars, two guys.
57:43 Speaker 04 And we're on the phone.
57:44 Speaker 03 And you guys just hanging out, trying to get picked up, get some rides.
57:49 Bobby Lee? Oh my god.
57:50 Speaker 04 Do you wanna do it?
57:51 Bobby Lee? Go ahead.
57:51 Speaker 04 You wanna do it?
57:52 Bobby Lee? Your pitch.
57:52 Speaker 04 Okay, so this is my pitch. This is my pitch for a full movie. This is my pitch for... I like this idea.
57:57 Bobby Lee? Me and my friend, we're gonna make it, so...
57:58 Speaker 04 You better. And, uh...
58:00 Bobby Lee? Who, who?
58:01 Speaker 04 Ralph.
58:02 Bobby Lee? He won't do it.
58:02 Speaker 04 Yes, he would.
58:04 Bobby Lee? Okay.
58:06 Speaker 04 That sounds like a fun...
58:07 Bobby Lee? Ralph Balboza.
58:08 Speaker 04 Oh, very cool. I love Ralph. I love Ralph. That's awesome. I think what we need to do... I think what we need to do is something that makes our people go, and our fans go, "I didn't know he had it in him."
58:23 Bobby Lee? Really dramatic.
58:24 Speaker 04 It's crazy. Just fucking insane. I think it needs to be something like, you know, we, um...
58:34 Speaker 04 You kill someone.
58:38 Bobby Lee? Great.
58:39 Speaker 04 Do you feel... Hold on, we already have the vibe in here.
58:41 Bobby Lee? Let's shoot it.
58:42 Speaker 04 You kill someone.
58:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
58:45 Speaker 04 And... We think that it's because it was like an accident, but throughout the course of the movie...
58:52 Bobby Lee? Five minutes.
58:53 Speaker 04 Five minutes. We find out at the end of the movie that you actually killed this person on purpose. Because they fucked you over financially. A long time ago.
59:04 Bobby Lee? So, we're roommates?
59:05 Speaker 04 We're not roommates.
59:06 Bobby Lee? How about this?
59:07 Speaker 04 Okay.
59:07 Bobby Lee? We're roommates.
59:08 Speaker 04 Yeah.
59:10 Bobby Lee? What was, what was the premise before?
59:13 Speaker 04 The premise before is that you killed somebody.
59:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I'm giving you the context now.
59:16 Speaker 04 Okay, okay, okay. I hear you.
59:18 Bobby Lee? What?
59:18 Speaker 04 Go ahead.
59:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah. That's what we're gonna do? You murder somebody?
59:21 Speaker 04 No, but I wanted to be...
59:22 Bobby Lee? Credits roll down. What the fuck are you doing? What are we doing here?
59:25 Speaker 04 No, I wanted to be... I wanted to be that person that you killed's husband.
59:31 Bobby Lee? Oh, so I killed a guy?
59:32 Speaker 04 No, no, you killed a girl. Wait, whoa, whoa, what's going on? You're gay in this. Wait, okay. Yeah, that's even better. That's even better. Drama.
59:39 Bobby Lee? You know what's so fucking fucked up?
59:40 Speaker 04 What?
59:41 Bobby Lee? That wasn't even a joke on my part. I just assumed it would be, he would be gay in it.
59:46 Speaker 04 Why is that?
59:47 Bobby Lee? I don't know, it was weird.
59:48 Speaker 04 Just something about me?
59:49 Bobby Lee? Dude, that, fuck, that, that was crazy what I did.
59:53 Speaker 04 Yeah.
59:53 Bobby Lee? I just assumed, yeah, your husband, I killed. So, oh, so you have a girl? Killed my wife. You have a girl in it?
59:59 Speaker 04 Why, why do you say, why you, why'd you say it like that? Like, it's impossible that I would ever have a girlfriend or a wife.
1:00:05 Bobby Lee? I don't think anyone watching is gonna be like-
1:00:06 Speaker 04 Is gonna expect that I would ever have a girlfriend or a wife?
1:00:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I don't know!
1:00:10 Speaker 04 What is this? Is this why you didn't cast me in your animated movie?
1:00:12 Bobby Lee? In Kelly Boys, do you have with anybody?
1:00:13 Speaker 04 Yes, I have a fiance.
1:00:14 Bobby Lee? In it?
1:00:15 Speaker 04 Yes. The whole, the whole season.
1:00:18 Bobby Lee? Cut it out.
1:00:18 Speaker 04 Cut it out?
1:00:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, second season, cut that.
1:00:20 Speaker 04 Okay, say it to, say it to the producers. For season two.
1:00:23 Bobby Lee? Anyway, so.
1:00:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:00:25 Bobby Lee? So I killed your wife?
1:00:26 Speaker 04 You killed my wife.
1:00:27 Bobby Lee? So you wanna act too?
1:00:30 Speaker 04 Yes.
1:00:30 Bobby Lee? Oh, so you, it's a confrontation between you and I?
1:00:32 Speaker 04 Yes.
1:00:33 Bobby Lee? Alright, so I'm at home, you knock on the door?
1:00:36 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:00:37 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:00:38 Speaker 04 And you thought you got away with it?
1:00:39 Bobby Lee? I go, hey, what's up?
1:00:40 Speaker 04 And then I'm there to kill you.
1:00:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but how do you, so, I go, you knock?
1:00:45 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
1:00:45 Bobby Lee? I answer, I go, hey, what's up, Don?
1:00:47 Speaker 04 And I go, hey, are you?
1:00:49 Bobby Lee? Am I what?
1:00:50 Speaker 04 Are you John?
1:00:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, dude. I work with your wife.
1:00:55 Speaker 04 Did you get into a, no, no, this is after you killed my wife.
1:00:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but I worked with her, that's how I knew, I know your wife.
1:01:00 Speaker 04 Oh, okay, okay, okay, fair enough.
1:01:02 Bobby Lee? Or husband, we'll, we'll, we'll decide later, but.
1:01:08 Speaker 04 And I go.
1:01:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:01:10 Speaker 04 And I go, yeah, it's been a while. How are you?
1:01:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, alright, I'm just playing-
1:01:14 Speaker 04 And I have some drinks here, I just wanted to see what's up. I was in the area.
1:01:17 Bobby Lee? Whoa, whoa, dude, dude, I, I don't know you that well, why are you coming over with drinks?
1:01:19 Speaker 04 I was just in the area, I just wanted to say hi.
1:01:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah, dude, anyway, I'm doing, you know, I'm doing something.
1:01:23 Speaker 04 And then you try closing the door, and I put my fucking foot in the door, dude. Foot's in the door.
1:01:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you little-
1:01:28 Speaker 04 Right? Door stops.
1:01:30 Bobby Lee? Right.
1:01:30 Speaker 04 And I go, I need to talk to you.
1:01:32 Bobby Lee? I go, alright, come in.
1:01:34 Speaker 04 You're not scared? In the movie, you'd have to be scared that I'm like, holding the door on you.
1:01:39 Bobby Lee? Because, in my mind, I'm trying to act cool, cuz I already know I killed your wife. Right, so I would just try to pretend-
1:01:45 Speaker 04 But the audience doesn't know that you did it on purpose yet. They're on your side cuz they think it was an accident, that I'm overreacting.
1:01:49 Bobby Lee? Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, what, why you put your foot in the fucking door for? What's wrong with you?
1:01:53 Speaker 04 I need to fucking talk to you. Get on the
1:01:56 Bobby Lee? Do we do it outside? You're not coming in.
1:01:59 Speaker 04 Get on the ground.
1:02:01 Bobby Lee? Oh, I see. The probe in my butt?
1:02:03 Speaker 04 Probe is coming back. I'm an alien. I'm an alien.
1:02:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:02:07 Speaker 04 And I wanted to take you back up for Joshua Tree the whole time.
1:02:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:02:10 Speaker 04 And I have, uh, I have a car antenna in your butthole.
1:02:13 Bobby Lee? I mean, let's just do the movie you wanna do.
1:02:16 Speaker 04 Okay, I'll write it.
1:02:17 Bobby Lee? I'm just laying naked on my back.
1:02:18 Speaker 04 You're not laying naked on your back.
1:02:20 Bobby Lee? Right? And you're just like on top of me.
1:02:22 Speaker 04 I'm on top of you.
1:02:23 Bobby Lee? And that's it. That's the movie you wanna do.
1:02:25 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:02:26 Bobby Lee? All right. Anyway, you can be in it.
1:02:29 Speaker 04 You can be in it. You wanna be in it?
1:02:30 Speaker 03 Can I be the alien?
1:02:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:02:32 Speaker 04 That's actually really good.
1:02:33 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:02:33 Speaker 04 You do kind of, he does kind of have like a Men in Black alien look to him.
1:02:37 Bobby Lee? Let me, would you, be honest with you. So if there was a movie, Jaime, and it was like...
1:02:44 Speaker 04 Look how good that is.
1:02:45 Bobby Lee? Oh my god, you just did that.
1:02:47 Speaker 04 Internal fortitude.
1:02:48 Speaker 00 Can I say, it made you, I put your name instead comedian and it made you look like your brother.
1:02:52 Speaker 04 It made me look like my brother.
1:02:54 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:02:54 Speaker 04 Unbelievable.
1:02:55 Bobby Lee? Trust no, you got a chat?
1:02:57 Speaker 04 That was good.
1:02:58 Bobby Lee? That was really good.
1:02:59 Speaker 04 Wow.
1:03:00 Bobby Lee? Wow. So Jaime, if, if, are you paying attention?
1:03:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:03:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah. So if Paul Thomas Anderson, you know who that is?
1:03:08 Speaker 03 Yeah. PTA.
1:03:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:03:12 Speaker 04 You know, people doubt you, but like, you know a lot.
1:03:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you do know a lot.
1:03:15 Speaker 04 You know a lot.
1:03:15 Speaker 03 I've watched a lot of movies.
1:03:16 Bobby Lee? Yeah. What's a couple of PTA movies?
1:03:18 Speaker 04 Yeah, give me a couple of examples.
1:03:19 Speaker 03 Licorice Pizza.
1:03:20 Speaker 04 Oh, good one.
1:03:21 Speaker 03 Uh, Magnolia.
1:03:22 Bobby Lee? Wow, that's amazing.
1:03:24 Speaker 04 There you go.
1:03:24 Speaker 03 I watched it two times.
1:03:26 Bobby Lee? Magnolia's a great movie.
1:03:27 Speaker 03 It is.
1:03:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. So Paul Thomas Anderson calls and he goes, hey man, I got Brad Pitt, you know what I mean? Scarlett Johansson.
1:03:33 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
1:03:34 Bobby Lee? And, um, Jaime, we're big fans. Okay? We have, you're gonna, we have wrote, I wrote a character, you're a gay guy, Hispanic guy.
1:03:43 Speaker 04 Out.
1:03:44 Bobby Lee? You, what?
1:03:44 Speaker 04 Like an out.
1:03:45 Bobby Lee? You're out. But you also, um, sell star maps on Hollywood Boulevard.
1:03:49 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:03:49 Bobby Lee? Okay?
1:03:49 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:03:50 Bobby Lee? And then, um, I don't know if you know this gay actor named Asif Ali?
1:03:54 Speaker 03 Yes, I'm aware.
1:03:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so we cast him.
1:03:56 Speaker 04 I'm aware, you just...
1:03:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. And so Asif Ali, you know what I mean? He plays a character named Mohammed in it.
1:04:03 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:04:04 Bobby Lee? Right. His name is Cliff Mohammed.
1:04:09 Speaker 04 Cause we didn't want to offend him.
1:04:10 Bobby Lee? You wouldn't offend anybody, you know what I mean? He picks you up. Anyway, there is a very highly charged sex scene. Where, I mean, listen, we'll go through your agents, we'll figure it out.
1:04:20 Speaker 04 We'll get an intimacy coordinator?
1:04:21 Bobby Lee? We'll get an intimacy coordinator, we'll make it very safe for you.
1:04:25 Speaker 04 Of course.
1:04:25 Bobby Lee? But you're gonna be completely naked. There will be one point where, um, in Asafi, Asif-
1:04:30 Speaker 04 Asif!
1:04:31 Bobby Lee? Asif Ali, um, you're not here.
1:04:34 Speaker 04 You're right.
1:04:34 Bobby Lee? Alright. Asif Ali requested this, that he wanted real insertion.
1:04:38 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:04:39 Speaker 00 Oh my god.
1:04:40 Bobby Lee? And we're like, I don't know SAG, we called SAG, you know what I mean?
1:04:42 Speaker 04 And they were cool with it?
1:04:43 Bobby Lee? No, they said no, but he does want to at least stick his genitals between the cracks of your cheeks.
1:04:49 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
1:04:49 Bobby Lee? Not all fully in, but it's gonna be, we're doing it wide and we'll do a couple of close-ups, it'll be really quick. Will you do the movie?
1:04:56 Speaker 03 Um, is this kinda like Boogie Nights?
1:04:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's kinda like Boogie Nights.
1:04:59 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:05:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:05:01 Speaker 00 That's your first question.
1:05:03 Speaker 04 Mark, he wants to win an award, I can, I can sense it.
1:05:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:05:06 Speaker 04 He's like, can I get, will I be able to get nominated for an Oscar? Then I'll do it.
1:05:10 Bobby Lee? Good line of question.
1:05:11 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:05:11 Bobby Lee? It's like, but, yeah, it's award, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:05:14 Speaker 03 If Mark did it, then I can do it too.
1:05:17 Bobby Lee? Okay, so you would like-
1:05:18 Speaker 04 This is a real actor.
1:05:19 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:05:19 Speaker 04 This is a real actor, willing to dedicate.
1:05:21 Bobby Lee? No, no, it's me calling you, I'm Paul Thomas Anderson, right? Asif.
1:05:24 Speaker 04 Hey, hi! I'm like, being like, super excited, you know what I mean? Because it's Paul Thomas Anderson.
1:05:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:05:29 Speaker 04 Hey, hi, hey, what's up? Hey, Paul, how are you? Huge fan! Love your work!
1:05:34 Bobby Lee? Anyway, I'll see you later, man, your energy's-
1:05:36 Speaker 04 Yeah, I have your, I have your stuff saved on HBO Max. And I bought the physicals.
1:05:39 Bobby Lee? You wouldn't do that.
1:05:40 Speaker 04 I love your stuff, dude.
1:05:41 Bobby Lee? You wouldn't do that.
1:05:42 Speaker 04 You, nobody belongs in the Criterion Collection more than you, my guy, PTA. Was just talking about you, love your work. So what's up? How are you?
1:05:52 Bobby Lee? You would do that?
1:05:53 Speaker 04 Hey, you ever come by the Comedy Store? I know Bobby.
1:05:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:05:56 Speaker 04 You should come by, we could hang out sometime.
1:05:57 Bobby Lee? Well, forget it then.
1:05:58 Speaker 04 No, no, Paul, Paul, come on.
1:05:59 Bobby Lee? No, no, I'm done.
1:06:00 Speaker 04 Paul, come on, let's talk.
1:06:01 Bobby Lee? Okay. Um, I, you know Jaime?
1:06:04 Speaker 04 Dude, I love Jaime, yeah. I've worked with him before.
1:06:06 Bobby Lee? Jaime Garcia?
1:06:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, he's a cool guy.
1:06:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:06:07 Speaker 04 He knows Ralph Barbosa, I don't know if you know that?
1:06:09 Bobby Lee? I know.
1:06:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, cool guy.
1:06:11 Bobby Lee? Well, Ralph knows him.
1:06:12 Speaker 04 Oh, whoa.
1:06:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:06:13 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:06:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, Ralph knows him.
1:06:15 Speaker 04 Very cool.
1:06:15 Bobby Lee? So anyway, Jaime's, you know, the next Isai Morales.
1:06:19 Speaker 04 Damn, not Isai?
1:06:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, you know Isai Morales?
1:06:22 Speaker 04 Yeah!
1:06:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:06:23 Speaker 04 Cool.
1:06:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah, he's actually gonna be, Tom didn't want to do another Mission Impossible, but- I mean, the next villain, in the next ten.
1:06:32 Speaker 04 Whoa, in the next one?
1:06:33 Bobby Lee? Yeah, in the next one.
1:06:35 Speaker 04 Damn, so, I mean, I love that you're telling me just like Hollywood information, but I wonder.
1:06:41 Bobby Lee? Because I was trying to sell you that you're.
1:06:43 Speaker 04 That I'm working with him? I'm locked in, PTA.
1:06:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so, we know, we called your agent, we know you wanted to do a full insertion gay scene.
1:06:51 Speaker 04 And here's the thing, here's the thing, I feel like that was taken out of context. Paul, listen, Paul, listen to me, I love you, huge fan, I feel like that was taken out of context.
1:06:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:06:57 Speaker 04 I said that I wanted to fully immerse myself into drama, I think they misunderstood that.
1:07:04 Bobby Lee? Oh! Well, then you're not, you're not gonna get the judge.
1:07:08 Speaker 04 No, Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul. Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, I'm willing to do two things in this industry.
1:07:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:07:14 Speaker 04 I'm willing to take steroids, and I'm willing to do full insertion, if that's what it takes. If I'm willing, you promising me a SAG Choice Award?
1:07:21 Bobby Lee? You know what's so funny? If it's a big director like Tarantino, Spielberg, like one of those kind of guys, I don't think there's anything I'm not willing to do.
1:07:29 Speaker 04 You would, you would suck someone's penis?
1:07:31 Bobby Lee? If it was like a really Oscar-worthy, you know what I mean, you know what I mean, movie?
1:07:36 Speaker 04 Like, okay.
1:07:36 Bobby Lee? And it's stacked, right, and I get to really be this character?
1:07:40 Speaker 04 So you wouldn't do like a Nora, because you're like, I don't know what this is gonna be?
1:07:46 Bobby Lee? I never saw Nora.
1:07:47 Speaker 03 Oh, it's a good movie.
1:07:48 Speaker 04 Okay, of course you would have watched it.
1:07:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:07:50 Speaker 04 Nasty.
1:07:51 Bobby Lee? Give me another example.
1:07:52 Speaker 04 Um, like, let's say, let's say Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.
1:07:56 Bobby Lee? Love that movie.
1:07:57 Speaker 04 And they're like, there's a scene where you're in the cult, and they're all like trying to seduce Brad Pitt, and through the screen door, they just see you just, just blowing some dude.
1:08:09 Bobby Lee? Do I have any lines?
1:08:10 Speaker 04 No, other than this is good, other than wow, this is good.
1:08:13 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, no, no.
1:08:14 Speaker 04 Wow, tastier than I thought?
1:08:15 Bobby Lee? There's no way. Do you know why? Do you know why?
1:08:18 Speaker 04 And Brad Pitt goes, he just, his movies, he takes his sunglasses and he goes, "Not for me."
1:08:24 Bobby Lee? But the reason why I won't do it is because that scene could get cut, and if it does get cut, I suck dick for no reason.
1:08:31 Speaker 04 No, but what if Tarantino gives you-
1:08:32 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean, that memory of me just-
1:08:34 Speaker 04 No, but what if he gives you a copy of it?
1:08:36 Bobby Lee? What?
1:08:36 Speaker 04 What if he gives you a copy of it for your reel?
1:08:38 Bobby Lee? For my reel? No. Because it's not gonna look like I'm gonna be-
1:08:42 Speaker 04 Because it's not color corrected?
1:08:43 Bobby Lee? No, it's gonna be, it's not color corrected, there's no sound.
1:08:46 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:08:47 Bobby Lee? The ADR is fucking shit, right?
1:08:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:08:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and-
1:08:51 Speaker 04 You hear people in the back being like, "Yikes."
1:08:52 Bobby Lee? And that's, who am I blowing?
1:08:54 Speaker 04 Um- That's a big deal, yeah.
1:08:56 Bobby Lee? That's a big deal.
1:08:57 Speaker 04 Okay. What if you were blowing like- Austin Butler. Yeah, Austin Butler.
1:09:03 Bobby Lee? And you see Austin's face?
1:09:04 Speaker 04 In Elvis. What if he was in Elvis? And he was like, "And he was gonna suck my dick."
1:09:08 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah. It shows his face.
1:09:11 Speaker 04 Yeah. Sorry.
1:09:12 Bobby Lee? What's this?
1:09:14 Speaker 04 This is our Paul Thomas Anderson movie.
1:09:15 Bobby Lee? This is a great, unspoken-
1:09:17 Speaker 04 God, it's like getting you, but it looks nothing like me. It looks more like your brother. This is a poster you could pitch to your reps and they'd be like, "What is this?"
1:09:25 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:09:26 Speaker 04 This is cool. He's willing to get outside of his range.
1:09:28 Bobby Lee? Do you just say my name and it puts it out like that?
1:09:30 Speaker 04 Yeah. That's insane. And I'm feeding it so much of your credits- And it's not having it.
1:09:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:09:35 Speaker 04 It's like, that's how the industry sees me. A nondescript Indian dude.
1:09:39 Bobby Lee? You're new.
1:09:43 Speaker 04 How dare you, dude, I've been around.
1:09:45 Bobby Lee? So, yeah, Austin Butler, if he's in it, I would do it.
1:09:47 Speaker 04 Yeah. You'd suck off Austin Butler?
1:09:49 Bobby Lee? If it's his fit, dude, I would probably do it at a party.
1:09:51 Speaker 04 No, you wouldn't.
1:09:52 Bobby Lee? I don't know, dude.
1:09:53 Speaker 04 No, you wouldn't.
1:09:54 Bobby Lee? Dude, if I said to people, I go, you know, years ago, like my grandkids.
1:09:58 Speaker 04 I sucked off Austin Butler.
1:10:03 Speaker 04 And you were kind of bragging to them at your grandkids' party?
1:10:05 Bobby Lee? And they're like, "Who, Dad?"
1:10:07 Speaker 04 You know-
1:10:07 Bobby Lee? Who granddad?
1:10:08 Speaker 04 Yeah, before we blow out the candles on the stage-
1:10:10 Bobby Lee? Austin Butler, Elvis.
1:10:10 Speaker 04 Austin Butler, Elvis.
1:10:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:10:12 Speaker 04 I blew him.
1:10:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:10:13 Speaker 04 Anyway, make a wish.
1:10:14 Bobby Lee? Nah, we didn't see it.
1:10:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, you know, I had my wish come true.
1:10:17 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:10:17 Speaker 03 Hey, it's between him or Glenn Powell.
1:10:19 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, Glenn Powell. Which one would you pick?
1:10:21 Bobby Lee? I don't know Glenn Powell.
1:10:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, you do.
1:10:22 Speaker 04 Come on, you know the guy.
1:10:24 Speaker 03 Maverick?
1:10:24 Speaker 04 Maverick. Twisters. Twisters.
1:10:26 Bobby Lee? Oh, Glenn Powell.
1:10:28 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:10:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:10:30 Speaker 04 Is that, by the way, how someone knows that they're famous to you?
1:10:32 Bobby Lee? What?
1:10:33 Speaker 04 Is you'll say their name in that kind of tone?
1:10:36 Bobby Lee? I don't get what you're saying.
1:10:36 Speaker 04 Of like Glenn Powell, like they're like, oh, that's how someone knows that they're a celebrity.
1:10:41 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:10:41 Speaker 04 Cause you never say my name like that.
1:10:43 Bobby Lee? No one's ever said, oh, Asif Ali.
1:10:44 Speaker 04 No, no one's ever said that.
1:10:45 Bobby Lee? No one's ever said that, yeah, yeah.
1:10:46 Speaker 04 Fuck.
1:10:47 Bobby Lee? No, they have, dude.
1:10:48 Speaker 04 No, they haven't.
1:10:48 Bobby Lee? Dude.
1:10:49 Speaker 04 Hey, I have a question for you. What do you think, what do you think I should be doing in my career?
1:10:52 Bobby Lee? You're so fast today.
1:10:52 Speaker 04 What do you think I should do with my career to like really take it to the next level? Cause you've been around and you've seen, you've seen people come and go. What kind, I need some real advice, like.
1:10:59 Bobby Lee? You want real advice?
1:11:00 Speaker 04 What should I be doing to like, take my comedy and also my acting career to the next level?
1:11:04 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:11:04 Speaker 04 And like, be honest with me.
1:11:05 Bobby Lee? Oh, you want me to?
1:11:06 Speaker 04 Be brutally honest with me.
1:11:07 Bobby Lee? I'm gonna be brutally honest with you.
1:11:08 Speaker 04 Brutally fucking honest with me.
1:11:09 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:11:10 Speaker 04 And I'm gonna fucking take it. Cause I feel like everyone's lying to me, but I know that's the one thing about you is that you will tell the truth.
1:11:15 Bobby Lee? So, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be completely and utterly honest.
1:11:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:11:18 Bobby Lee? No comedy or whatever.
1:11:19 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
1:11:19 Bobby Lee? If you interrupt me, Jaime, during this.
1:11:21 Speaker 04 I swear to God, Jaime, lock the fuck in, dude.
1:11:24 Bobby Lee? So, a couple of weeks ago, I had a dream. And it was, it was just a normal dream. It was a dream about me, I remember um, walking through the crowd in front of Mad TV when we had a live audience.
1:11:36 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
1:11:37 Bobby Lee? And they would cheer and then I would then go into, it was frantic, cause I would go into makeup. And sometimes you're in sketches where, once the sketch is done, you have to run back into
1:11:46 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:11:46 Bobby Lee? hair and makeup and change characters and stuff like that. And I remember, it was a happy dream, right? And then when I woke up, I had a thought. I said, you know what?
1:11:58 Bobby Lee? I wish I appreciated that more. Because during that whole time, I thought, what's next? And um, sure, I got different kinds of jobs and this, but it was not as special as that, that first one. It, I have so many fond memories of it and I really wish I took, I took advantage of it and really appreciated it. Because it's like, it'll never be like that again. That kind of show business is done. And so I wish I would have been more grateful about the things that I had. You should be really happy that you're on Deli Boys right now. Because we don't know, maybe second season, maybe not, who knows? I hope that there's a second season. And even if it ran for five years, you, this, there's nothing that's gonna be like that in your future.
1:12:43 Bobby Lee? It might be a higher, um, more money in a project or with more elevated actors and this and that. But it's never gonna be the same. This is it. You should be on top of the world right now.
1:12:59 Speaker 04 Can I tell you something? Thank you very much for that. Don't leave.
1:13:01 Bobby Lee? No, not leave, I have to scratch my head.
1:13:02 Speaker 04 We have to cut that out. Every time he takes his hat off, we have to cut it out. Um, I, I, I think that's beautiful. And can I tell you, for the first time in my career, I've been acting a long time, the first time in my career.
1:13:13 Bobby Lee? You have?
1:13:14 Speaker 04 How dare you? How dare you do that to me?
1:13:16 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:13:16 Speaker 04 How dare you? I've been on Shrinking.
1:13:18 Bobby Lee? Whoa.
1:13:19 Speaker 04 I've been on Mandalorian.
1:13:21 Bobby Lee? Oh.
1:13:21 Speaker 04 I've been on Wandavision.
1:13:22 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:13:23 Speaker 03 Oh.
1:13:24 Speaker 04 I've been on this podcast, which I will say, I know it sounds like a bit, but.
1:13:27 Bobby Lee? You've never done this podcast before?
1:13:28 Speaker 04 I know, but this is, this is it.
1:13:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:13:30 Speaker 04 This is, I'm enjoying this right now.
1:13:31 Bobby Lee? This is your last time.
1:13:31 Speaker 04 This is my last time, my first last time.
1:13:33 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:13:33 Speaker 04 And honestly, it's all I need.
1:13:34 Bobby Lee? I'm kidding, you're, you're killed, this is so fucked.
1:13:36 Speaker 04 I feel like when I was shooting, because I've been on lots of shows and you've been on lots of shows where you feel like you're the only one. Or where you're like, oh, I'm the only Asian person, or they brought me in here and you kind of like doubt yourself and go, did they just bring me here because they needed to feel some sort of diversity quota? Or do they actually think I'm, whatever? And so this show was the first time where I was like, oh shit. I'm like the lead of a, of a, of a, of a show on Hulu.
1:14:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:14:01 Speaker 04 And it's all South Asian people.
1:14:04 Bobby Lee? Amazing.
1:14:04 Speaker 04 And even from the pilot, we were all looking at each other. And being like, both in front and behind the camera, there's so many, like, so much diversity. We were like, dude, we have to like, even if this pilot doesn't get picked up. This is like insanely special. And we really have to like, you know, enjoy it, you know? And we did that the entire season. I cried, I've never cried. At the wrap for season one, I like fully cried doing my little.
1:14:34 Bobby Lee? You're joy.
1:14:35 Speaker 04 Joy.
1:14:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:14:36 Speaker 04 And so appreciative.
1:14:37 Bobby Lee? And I'll tell you why you should feel joy.
1:14:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:14:39 Bobby Lee? Because you have no talent. No, I'm kidding.
1:14:42 Bobby Lee? No. You're so talented.
1:14:43 Speaker 04 Thank you.
1:14:44 Bobby Lee? The reason why I think you should have joy is because, um, this type of show is harder to be in.
1:14:51 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:14:52 Bobby Lee? A comedy, 30 minutes.
1:14:53 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:14:54 Bobby Lee? Single camera, it's violent.
1:14:56 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
1:14:56 Bobby Lee? So it's got some R-rated elements to it.
1:14:58 Speaker 04 Would you be in it?
1:14:59 Bobby Lee? Dude, you, fuck off, you're never gonna ask me.
1:15:02 Speaker 04 Bobby, look at me.
1:15:03 Bobby Lee? Yes, I would do it, 100%.
1:15:04 Speaker 04 I would 1,000%.
1:15:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah, me and George Butler, George Butler, not George Butler, um, Butler.
1:15:09 Speaker 04 Austin Butler, the one you're gonna suck off?
1:15:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, I wanted that, that scene. But, dude.
1:15:15 Speaker 04 Dude, that's actually.
1:15:16 Bobby Lee? That's amazing, dude.
1:15:17 Speaker 04 Viva La Tension, that's so good.
1:15:19 Bobby Lee? Dude, that is so good, dude. Wow.
1:15:23 Speaker 04 It's so good.
1:15:24 Bobby Lee? It's so scary.
1:15:25 Speaker 04 That's scary dude.
1:15:26 Bobby Lee? How fast AI is developing.
1:15:28 Speaker 04 Isn't that the Comedy Store? It looks like the, it looks like the main room.
1:15:31 Bobby Lee? But isn't that scary, how fa- fast?
1:15:33 Speaker 04 It's terrifying.
1:15:34 Bobby Lee? It's terrifying.
1:15:34 Speaker 04 It's absolutely terrifying.
1:15:36 Bobby Lee? A year from now? Oh my god. Cause you know what I saw on TikTok, um, like a couple of weeks ago is like how, like, remember two, three years ago, there was that Will Smith AI?
1:15:44 Speaker 04 Yes.
1:15:44 Bobby Lee? Where he's eating spaghetti?
1:15:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:15:45 Speaker 03 So bad.
1:15:46 Bobby Lee? It was so bad. But at the time, I'm like, whoa.
1:15:49 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:15:49 Bobby Lee? Right? Look how fast we've gone. In two years? What the fuck?
1:15:54 Speaker 04 It looks real.
1:15:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:15:56 Speaker 04 It's insane.
1:15:56 Bobby Lee? It's gonna, I mean, we might, I don't know if we're gonna be out of a job.
1:15:59 Speaker 04 We probably will be.
1:16:00 Speaker 03 No.
1:16:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:16:00 Speaker 04 Yeah, I heard that what they're gonna try doing is just keep the movie stars we have and just digitally keep putting them in movies. Like, a, a movie star will just license their image and you'll have, you'll have Mission Impossible 98. Because they're like, we have enough footage and whatever to like do Tom Cruise and we can just, uh, put him into things. And then have other people just being the auxiliary people around him.
1:16:27 Bobby Lee? My god.
1:16:28 Speaker 04 Yeah. So then actually breaking out and developing talent will become less and less. I hope I'm wrong, but it seems like that's.
1:16:35 Bobby Lee? My god. Scary, scary.
1:16:37 Speaker 04 But they can't replace this.
1:16:38 Speaker 03 They can't.
1:16:39 Bobby Lee? I don't know.
1:16:39 Speaker 04 They can't replace this.
1:16:41 Speaker 03 The, um, like the human feeling of a movie.
1:16:44 Speaker 04 The human feeling and bits and like, this is.
1:16:46 Bobby Lee? I've been watching some AI shorts that are like comedy. Some of it's funny.
1:16:50 Speaker 03 Really?
1:16:51 Speaker 04 But it doesn't feel real.
1:16:52 Speaker 03 It doesn't, yeah.
1:16:53 Bobby Lee? If the joke's good, it'll work.
1:16:56 Speaker 04 No, I'm, like, in this kind of setting, like, three people just shooting the shit? I don't, I think that's the last thing you can kind of do. Okay.
1:17:03 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:17:04 Speaker 04 Wait, none of those people look like the people in the show. You could have just used the actual poster from the show.
1:17:11 Bobby Lee? Why do I look like that?
1:17:12 Speaker 03 I put the actual poster.
1:17:13 Speaker 04 Why did they make you two feet tall?
1:17:15 Bobby Lee? I don't know why. I think that's what the internet thinks.
1:17:19 Speaker 04 And this is why we have to make a, we have to make a short where it's all, all the camera angles are low and up. That way we all look really fucking tall. I did not pitch the show. This guy Abdullah Said wrote it and-
1:17:32 Bobby Lee? So you read for it?
1:17:33 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and I got hired, yeah.
1:17:36 Bobby Lee? Amazing.
1:17:37 Speaker 04 And he used to work at Vice. He did drugs at Vice, which is how he came up with this idea.
1:17:41 Bobby Lee? Wow, amazing.
1:17:41 Speaker 04 About like brown people in, in the mob and, you know, selling cocaine and all that shit.
1:17:46 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:17:46 Speaker 04 It's so fun. It's so cool. It's my favorite thing I've ever done and I'm so stoked to like-
1:17:50 Bobby Lee? It's amazing, dude.
1:17:51 Speaker 04 -continue doing it.
1:17:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:17:53 Speaker 04 Hopefully not-
1:17:53 Bobby Lee? They don't show you numbers Hulu, right?
1:17:55 Speaker 04 They don't show you anything.
1:17:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:17:57 Speaker 04 They don't show you anything. They like having control.
1:17:59 Bobby Lee? Hopefully, you know, my animated show will get picked up.
1:18:01 Speaker 04 I think it will.
1:18:02 Bobby Lee? And then I can go to the Hulu party or what? Is there a Hulu party?
1:18:05 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:18:05 Bobby Lee? Is there?
1:18:06 Speaker 04 For your consideration, Emmys.
1:18:08 Bobby Lee? But is there, is there like a one general party that-
1:18:10 Speaker 04 No, because it's all under Disney, so it'll be a Disney party. So like for like the award season, Disney will have like a big party and then, you know-
1:18:17 Bobby Lee? You went to it?
1:18:18 Speaker 04 Hulu, FX, you know?
1:18:19 Bobby Lee? You went?
1:18:20 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:18:21 Bobby Lee? Did you see stars?
1:18:22 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
1:18:23 Bobby Lee? How many?
1:18:23 Speaker 04 Everybody was there.
1:18:24 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:18:25 Speaker 04 Everybody was there and they were all asking about you.
1:18:28 Bobby Lee? No, they're not.
1:18:29 Speaker 04 They're like, where's Bobby? And you were at home giving a thumbs down.
1:18:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Do you talk to celebrities there or no?
1:18:34 Speaker 04 Yeah, I've gotten, I've gotten-
1:18:36 Bobby Lee? Who's, who's the most famous person you talked to?
1:18:37 Speaker 04 I've ever spoken to?
1:18:38 Bobby Lee? At a Disney party?
1:18:40 Speaker 04 Uh...
1:18:41 Bobby Lee? Well, you don't like these questions?
1:18:42 Speaker 04 No, I'm curious. That's a good, that's a good question. Who's the most, um, well, we shot next, we shot our show in Chicago. So we shot right next door to The Bear.
1:18:51 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:18:52 Speaker 04 So we, so we became friendly with all the people that work on The Bear.
1:18:56 Bobby Lee? So when you, you shot, did they put you up at a hotel?
1:18:59 Speaker 04 Uh, yeah. No, they give you like money. They give you like a dividend to be like, hey, put yourself wherever you want.
1:19:04 Bobby Lee? Where'd you stay?
1:19:05 Speaker 04 I stayed in Logan Square because I went to college in Chicago.
1:19:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:19:08 Speaker 04 All my cousins live there and I did a comedy when I was there, so I got to live in the neighborhood I couldn't afford to live in, which was-
1:19:13 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:19:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, it was like the hip Echo Park-y-
1:19:16 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:19:16 Speaker 04 -part of Chicago and I loved it. It was awesome.
1:19:18 Bobby Lee? Okay, you Airbnb'd it?
1:19:20 Speaker 04 Uh, no, it was like one of those long-term, you know, like those furnished kind of cool.
1:19:25 Bobby Lee? I love it. It must have been so exciting.
1:19:27 Speaker 04 I loved it, because I got to kind of relive, it was like time machine of like, oh shit, I remember being broke here and doing open mics here, and now I'm here.
1:19:36 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:19:37 Speaker 04 In the neighborhood that I always wanted to live in, and I'm on a fucking TV show.
1:19:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, The Bear's a great show, but that's not what I'm asking. I'm saying at a Disney party, that they're, it's a good show, but they're not super like celebrities.
1:19:48 Speaker 04 They're pretty fucking famous.
1:19:48 Bobby Lee? Now they are.
1:19:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, so that's, I'm talking about this now.
1:19:52 Bobby Lee? I'm talking about like, you know what I mean?
1:19:54 Speaker 04 Oh, like in general. Oh, okay, okay, okay.
1:19:56 Bobby Lee? Come on, man, hurry up.
1:19:57 Speaker 04 I'm trying to think of the most famous person I've ever met. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. Uh, okay, the most famous person I've ever met, um, Tina Fey, but I've worked with her before. I did a pilot with her, so that's.
1:20:09 Bobby Lee? Never met her.
1:20:10 Speaker 04 Um, uh, Brian Tyree Henry from Atlanta. Um, he plays the.
1:20:17 Bobby Lee? You've never met a Denzel.
1:20:18 Speaker 04 I've never met Denzel Washington.
1:20:20 Bobby Lee? He wants like a Brad Pitt. Yeah, yeah, like the top, top, top, top.
1:20:23 Speaker 04 Actually, uh, one of our co-stars, uh, Porna, who's in Deli Boys, she was in this movie Wolves with Brad Pitt and George Clooney.
1:20:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:20:31 Speaker 04 As Apple TV, so, so she invited me and Sagar to go to the Wolves, like, after-party. And so we're like, hey, we're gonna say hi to Brad Pitt. You're, let's say you're Brad Pitt, right?
1:20:41 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:20:41 Speaker 04 And so me and Sagar are standing right here, like, fuck it, let's just go say hi to Brad Pitt.
1:20:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:20:45 Speaker 04 We're just standing here because he's having a conversation, we're being polite.
1:20:48 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:20:48 Speaker 04 Hey, we'll just wait till he's finished, and then be like, hey, you know, we're friends with, we're on Deli Boys with Porna, we just wanted to say hey, and the movie is great. Literally as we're about to take a step, a security guard walks right in front of us.
1:21:00 Bobby Lee? Yes.
1:21:00 Speaker 04 And goes, what are you guys doing here?
1:21:02 Bobby Lee? Yes, exactly.
1:21:04 Speaker 04 And this is a private after-party, which to get in, you had to be like.
1:21:07 Bobby Lee? No. Invited.
1:21:08 Speaker 04 Triple vetted.
1:21:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:21:09 Speaker 04 He goes, what are you doing here?
1:21:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:21:11 Speaker 04 And we go, hey, we're, you know, we're in a show with Porna, and we just wanted to say hi to, to Brad, just to congratulate him on, and he goes, you're not doing that.
1:21:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, of course you're not. Oh my god, dude.
1:21:22 Speaker 04 And got like, and then we felt another security guard behind us.
1:21:26 Bobby Lee? Exactly.
1:21:26 Speaker 04 Like I felt some strong man's chest on my back.
1:21:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:21:29 Speaker 04 He goes, you're not doing that. And we're like. Is this racist?
1:21:33 Bobby Lee? No, it's not racist.
1:21:34 Speaker 04 We go, what is this? And it felt very racist.
1:21:37 Bobby Lee? If I'm Brad Pitt, I'm a big star, like a huge movie star. I'm at my own private show.
1:21:43 Speaker 04 There's only like a hundred people in the room!
1:21:44 Bobby Lee? And I see you and your brother on the outside, I don't know you. I'm gonna, especially, I'm gonna have my own little walkie talkie. That's the fucking two problem, fuck, get the fuck away, get the fucking away from me.
1:21:53 Speaker 04 Okay, be honest with you. Did he, do you think that he thought we were there?
1:21:58 Bobby Lee? You look like help.
1:21:59 Speaker 04 We look like catering.
1:21:59 Bobby Lee? If he doesn't know who you are, they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:22:03 Speaker 04 So that's the vibe I put out, that I'm just in catering?
1:22:06 Bobby Lee? I don't know, but you, how close was he, how close were you to him?
1:22:09 Speaker 04 Literally this far.
1:22:10 Bobby Lee? Handsome?
1:22:10 Speaker 04 And I got, stunning!
1:22:13 Bobby Lee? Just by him being right there, it's enough for me to go, okay, I did it.
1:22:18 Speaker 04 That I met him.
1:22:19 Bobby Lee? I didn't meet him, but I was, if I'm that close to-
1:22:21 Speaker 04 I was in proximity.
1:22:22 Bobby Lee? I can breathe him.
1:22:23 Speaker 04 Yeah, I breathe, I breathe him in.
1:22:25 Bobby Lee? I wanna breathe him.
1:22:26 Speaker 04 It was a fresh of breath air. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:22:28 Bobby Lee? Oh!
1:22:29 Speaker 04 Yeah, and he smelled good.
1:22:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so, was Clooney there?
1:22:33 Speaker 04 Uh, no, he left pretty quickly.
1:22:35 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:22:36 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
1:22:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:22:37 Speaker 04 So he left pretty quickly, but I would say that's the closest I've ever been to somebody-
1:22:39 Bobby Lee? That big.
1:22:40 Speaker 04 -that fucking famous.
1:22:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:22:41 Speaker 04 Um, I'm trying to think of like, I'm just, do you, is there anybody? Oh, Harry Styles!
1:22:46 Bobby Lee? Whoa.
1:22:47 Speaker 04 I did a movie with Harry Styles called Don't Worry Darling.
1:22:50 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah?
1:22:50 Speaker 04 And so I got to hang out with him on set, and he's such a nice guy, and he invited us to his concerts and stuff, and it's fucking incredible. But, um, I think of it, I worked with him, huh?
1:23:01 Bobby Lee? Where was that shot?
1:23:02 Speaker 04 In L.A.
1:23:02 Bobby Lee? Don't Worry Tar- Darling.
1:23:03 Speaker 04 Dar- Don't Worry Tarling? Come on, man! Let's take it from the top.
1:23:06 Bobby Lee? That's you?
1:23:07 Speaker 04 That's me, dude.
1:23:08 Bobby Lee? There were Indians in the 50s there?
1:23:09 Speaker 04 How dare you! It's not about the 50s!
1:23:13 Bobby Lee? Oh, it's, it's, you're plugged into a different society in your mind, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:23:16 Speaker 04 Look how hot I look!
1:23:18 Speaker 03 And Harry.
1:23:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I don't know, man.
1:23:20 Speaker 04 I don't know, man!
1:23:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:23:21 Speaker 04 You just, you just have it in your head that every Indian dude is in catering.
1:23:24 Bobby Lee? Are you, are you fucking-
1:23:25 Speaker 04 You think every Indian dude is, is-
1:23:27 Bobby Lee? I love Indians, dude.
1:23:28 Speaker 04 When they're serving you-
1:23:29 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, as a peer.
1:23:31 Speaker 04 How dare you.
1:23:32 Bobby Lee? How dare you, dude.
1:23:33 Speaker 04 How dare you, dude.
1:23:34 Bobby Lee? Fuck you, dude.
1:23:35 Speaker 04 Fuck you, dude.
1:23:35 Bobby Lee? I love Fikim Anwar.
1:23:37 Speaker 04 This is intern- how dare you.
1:23:38 Bobby Lee? How dare you, dude, who's this?
1:23:39 Speaker 04 That's Florence Pugh, the incredible, one of the greatest actors of all time, that's me!
1:23:46 Speaker 04 How dare you?
1:23:47 Speaker 00 He's like ChatGPT.
1:23:48 Speaker 04 One of the greatest actors of our lifetime.
1:23:52 Bobby Lee? You don't have a beard.
1:23:53 Speaker 04 Yeah, when I'm trying to get fucking serious, I get rid of my beard. Don't Worry Darling, she was also in it.
1:23:57 Bobby Lee? Okay, very good.
1:23:58 Speaker 04 Harry, like Harry Styles, Florence Pugh, Chris Pine.
1:24:02 Bobby Lee? Did you meet him?
1:24:02 Speaker 04 Yes.
1:24:03 Bobby Lee? You nice?
1:24:04 Speaker 04 I have mutuals with Chris Pine.
1:24:05 Bobby Lee? I'm a huge fan, I'm a huge fan.
1:24:05 Speaker 04 He's such a great guy. He told me some things about you.
1:24:07 Bobby Lee? What do you do, do you really?
1:24:09 Speaker 00 I mean, he's, he stands out.
1:24:10 Speaker 04 Look at my outfit!
1:24:11 Bobby Lee? Where are you in this? Let me see if I can find you in this. That's you?
1:24:15 Speaker 04 That's fucking me!
1:24:16 Bobby Lee? That's not you, dude.
1:24:17 Speaker 04 That's me. Nick Kroll was in it, Gemma Chan, Olivia Wilde, K. B. Lant. Come on, man, Douglas Smith. Come on, man.
1:24:25 Bobby Lee? That's huge. What are you doing on this shitty podcast? I didn't know it was around fucking royalty around here, dude.
1:24:32 Speaker 04 You just never respect, you never respect me.
1:24:34 Bobby Lee? What a braggart.
1:24:34 Speaker 04 First of all, you asked me to brag. You asked me to brag. I don't want to be this guy.
1:24:39 Bobby Lee? You're a climber, dude.
1:24:40 Speaker 04 You're a climber.
1:24:42 Bobby Lee? You're a point at me again, you'll see what happens.
1:24:44 Speaker 04 You're climbing on me.
1:24:45 Bobby Lee? Okay. Hahaha, pharmacy laugh.
1:24:48 Speaker 04 You had... Honestly, fuck that guy.
1:24:51 Bobby Lee? Fake pharmacy laugh.
1:24:52 Speaker 04 That's a pharmacy laugh.
1:24:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:24:53 Speaker 04 Tell him, tell him that you, do this, ask for your prescription.
1:24:56 Bobby Lee? Can I have my prescription? Hahaha.
1:24:59 Speaker 04 Do your laugh. Be like, hey, I have hemorrhoids.
1:25:01 Bobby Lee? Hey, can I have my prescription? I need, I have hemorrhoids.
1:25:03 Speaker 00 You have hemorrhoids?
1:25:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:25:05 Speaker 00 Uh, okay, let me, let me go get it.
1:25:08 Speaker 04 Now he's trying to act professional, but usually he would laugh.
1:25:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:25:11 Speaker 04 And he's seen famous people too that he can't say.
1:25:14 Speaker 00 Oh yeah, comedians too.
1:25:16 Bobby Lee? Famous comedians?
1:25:17 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:25:17 Bobby Lee? Okay. What, in pharmacy lines?
1:25:19 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
1:25:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we all need it.
1:25:21 Speaker 04 No, no, no, but it's for things that you don't think.
1:25:23 Bobby Lee? Oh, rectal.
1:25:25 Speaker 04 Hey, what?
1:25:26 Bobby Lee? Something like that.
1:25:27 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:25:27 Bobby Lee? Rashes.
1:25:28 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
1:25:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:25:29 Speaker 04 So now, what do you, do you, do you respect me now? Do you respect me now?
1:25:31 Bobby Lee? I've always respected you.
1:25:33 Speaker 04 No, but this is different.
1:25:33 Bobby Lee? I didn't know you were a part of the elite, my bad.
1:25:34 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm different.
1:25:37 Bobby Lee? Okay, so...
1:25:37 Speaker 04 But I want to do a movie with you, I really...
1:25:38 Bobby Lee? We're not doing anything.
1:25:39 Speaker 04 We are, we are!
1:25:40 Bobby Lee? Now I know it's fake Hollywood bullshit.
1:25:42 Speaker 04 It's not fake Hollywood bullshit.
1:25:43 Bobby Lee? Let's go to his, um, socials.
1:25:44 Speaker 04 It's real.
1:25:45 Bobby Lee? Let's go to his socials, please.
1:25:48 Bobby Lee? Uh, so, um...
1:25:49 Speaker 04 No, these are all bad dates. Chicago is like, this is not gonna even be out by then. When does this come out?
1:25:57 Speaker 04 I already did Charlotte, I did Dallas.
1:26:00 Speaker 03 Who's hosting? You like Dallas?
1:26:02 Speaker 04 I love Dallas. I was on a town that weekend. Is that how you know?
1:26:08 Bobby Lee? I called you.
1:26:09 Speaker 04 What's up?
1:26:09 Speaker 06 July 9th.
1:26:11 Speaker 04 Oh, July, I'll be in, um, I'll be at Just For Laughs.
1:26:16 Speaker 04 Yeah, in Montreal, so come out, come see me perform.
1:26:21 Speaker 04 Just for laughs. You'll be at Just For Laughs too? Oh my god, dude, we're gonna have so much fun. Are you gonna be at Just For Laughs?
1:26:27 Bobby Lee? No.
1:26:27 Speaker 04 Why not?
1:26:28 Bobby Lee? One, two, three, we're closing it up.
1:26:30 Speaker 04 Okay, we'll close it up.
1:26:36 Bobby Lee? But no one will laugh.
1:26:38 Speaker 04 No one will laugh.
1:26:40 Bobby Lee? No one will laugh.
1:26:43 Speaker 04 No one will laugh at you. Even though I did the part, I thought people would come out, but in fact, they think I'm Aziz Ansari.
1:27:02 Speaker 04 Bobby just wants Kumail on the pod.
1:27:07 Bobby Lee? He's the better one.
1:27:08 Speaker 04 He's the better one, he's got the better body.
1:27:11 Bobby Lee? Russell Peters too.
1:27:13 Speaker 04 Have you ever had Hasan Minhaj?
1:27:16 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, never heard of that person.
1:27:19 Speaker 04 He would never do this.
1:27:22 Bobby Lee? I know he won't. I know.
1:27:24 Speaker 04 He won't be body one.
1:27:31 Bobby Lee? I know, I know. Oh, oh, oh, okay, I can't get him.
1:27:47 Speaker 04 Goat face, shout out to goat face, shout out to Fahim and Aristotle.
1:27:53 Bobby Lee? Wait, wait, is that you?
1:27:55 Speaker 04 Yeah. Why can't you leave? That I could ever not have a beard.
1:28:00 Bobby Lee? Well, I saw Goatface. You were in that?
1:28:03 Speaker 04 Oh, my God. Piece of shit.
1:28:07 Bobby Lee? What's so funny? You were, you've done a lot of work.
1:28:10 Speaker 04 I've done a lot of work.
1:28:11 Speaker 00 Who did the fourth guy was?
1:28:12 Bobby Lee? Done a lot of work. Done a lot of work. What's Aristotle like? He's a fucking weirdo.
1:28:20 Speaker 04 He's such a great, he's such a talented actor.
1:28:22 Bobby Lee? He's a great actor. Weirdo, weirdo.
1:28:25 Speaker 04 Weirdo? I guess everyone's a weirdo.
1:28:28 Bobby Lee? He's like a serial killer-y kind of of a.
1:28:29 Speaker 04 No.
1:28:30 Bobby Lee? You're friends with him.
1:28:31 Speaker 04 You haven't opened him up.
1:28:33 Bobby Lee? I love him. He's done Tiger Belly.
1:28:34 Speaker 00 Yeah, he actually was shooting a documentary for a while.
1:28:37 Bobby Lee? Anyway, um.
1:28:38 Speaker 04 I love you so much. Thank you so much for having me.
1:28:40 Bobby Lee? I feel the same. I love you. It was amazing part time.
1:28:42 Speaker 04 I, I have been so looking forward to doing this and seeing how this, you know, group of.
1:28:48 Bobby Lee? You had a good time, right?
1:28:49 Speaker 04 I had the best time.
1:28:50 Bobby Lee? It went papai, huh?
1:28:51 Speaker 04 It went papai and.
1:28:52 Bobby Lee? It went papaya.
1:28:52 Speaker 04 It went papaya and we love this.
1:28:54 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:28:55 Speaker 04 And, um, I just want people to watch Deli Boys on Hulu and.
1:28:58 Bobby Lee? Watch Deli Boys on Hulu. Watch Goatface on whatever.
1:29:01 Speaker 04 Don't watch. Goatface is done.
1:29:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah, watch.
1:29:03 Speaker 04 Comedy Center doesn't even exist anymore.
1:29:05 Bobby Lee? Nighttime darling.
1:29:06 Speaker 04 No, no, no, no.
1:29:07 Bobby Lee? Nighttime darling.
1:29:07 Speaker 04 No, no. Watch Don't Worry Darling.
1:29:09 Bobby Lee? With Lord and.
1:29:11 Speaker 04 Lord is not in it.
1:29:12 Bobby Lee? Whoever you're doing it with.
1:29:13 Speaker 04 Not with Lord.
1:29:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, these fancy people.
1:29:15 Speaker 04 Florence Pugh and Harry Styles.
1:29:17 Bobby Lee? Whatever dude.
1:29:17 Speaker 04 Chris Pine.
1:29:18 Bobby Lee? And then, you know.
1:29:19 Speaker 04 And go see me at Just for Laughs.
1:29:21 Bobby Lee? Just for Laughs.
1:29:21 Speaker 04 Go to Just for Laughs. Go to ha ha ha ha dot com, please.
1:29:24 Bobby Lee? Please go laugh at that.
1:29:25 Speaker 04 I'll see you so soon. I love you guys. Thank you so much. Bye.
Previous Jim Jefferies is the Steve Irwin of Comedy Next Carrot Top and The Girthy Red Head Page updated November 3, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated