Jim Gaffigan Returns!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian Jim Gaffigan! You know Jim Gaffigan from Stand Up Comedy, This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von, We Might Be Drunk, TigerBelly, the Joe Rogan Experience, Monday Morning Podcast w/ Bill Burr, Club Random w/ Bill Maher, the HoneyDew Podcast, Whiskey Ginger and much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Pretty Litter: Right now try your first bag for just $14.99 and get a free cat toy at https://PrettyLitter.com/garbage Aura Frames: Exclusive $45-off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/GARBAGE. Promo Code GARBAGE True Classic: Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/GARBAGE Ethos: Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at Ethos dot com slash AYG. That’s E-T-H-O-S dot com slash AYG. https://www.ethos.com/AYG Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  We got new tour dates to announce, gang. Obviously, we got Philadelphia at the Met December 13th, but then we're headed to Austin, Tampa, Chicago, Bloomington, Indiana, Nashville, Tennessee. We got Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and Cleveland, Ohio. Get your tickets right now. AreYouGarbage.com. The boys are coming.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:37H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they're going to be classy. Yeah. Or just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Toody's in a new addition. She's down in Miami getting in the highlights. Okay. A lot of cash we made down there on that sport. 30 years later, aren't you?

• 1:01Speaker 03

  So, that sport is still a thing? Or was it just in the Miami Vice kind of intro?

• 1:08H. Foley?

  I don't know, but it worked.

• 1:10Speaker 03

  It looked so cool. I was like, oh, so exotic.

• 1:13H. Foley?

  Yeah. I was a big Miami Vice guy. But that's either here nor there. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:27Speaker 00

  What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, get all that bonus content, gang.

• 1:38H. Foley?

  Love that money. And, gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. We're gonna put him through the wringer, legendary stand-up comedian. We love him, you love him. He's got a brand-new set out right now, live from Old Forester, the Bourbon Set. It's all about bourbon on YouTube. Give it up for Mr. Jim Gaffigan.

• 1:59Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 2:00H. Foley?

  Look at you. The legend.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  It feels like at least three people were clapping. But thanks for having me back, you guys.

• 2:07H. Foley?

  Are you kidding me? Love it.

• 2:09Speaker 03

  You know, I have memories, ingrained memories of the questions. And I will say that, like... I am now such a leave the butter out guy.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  Really?

• 2:23Speaker 03

  Like, when people put it in the fridge, I get annoyed because Baby doesn't wanna have to push it down hard.

• 2:30Speaker 00

  Baby likes it soft.

• 2:31Speaker 03

  Baby likes his butter soft, so he gets right to the melting.

• 2:34Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 2:35Speaker 03

  Anyway, that's an important piece of information.

• 2:37H. Foley?

  Was your peanut butter in the fridge, or was it out? Do you remember?

• 2:40Speaker 03

  I think it was, I think it was out. It was not in the fridge.

• 2:42H. Foley?

  Yeah, my mom had it in the fridge, which is crazy.

• 2:45Speaker 00

  Crazy talk.

• 2:45H. Foley?

  And I would assume that when you were a kid, your mom had the butter on the counter. She didn't? It was in the fridge?

• 2:51Speaker 03

  I don't even remember. I don't, I think it was in the fridge, cuz I think there was a lot of flies. You know what I mean?

• 2:57H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  So there was just, you know, there was cigarettes, smoke, and flies that like, we don't have to deal with now. But I, but selfishly, I like the butter out.

• 3:09H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  It's like...

• 3:11H. Foley?

  Salted, right? You're salted?

• 3:13Speaker 00

  It's gotta be salted to keep out the salmon.

• 3:15Speaker 03

  Come on, right?

• 3:16H. Foley?

  I mean, that would be a logical thing. You know, well, you know what I mean? That's very, that's a very in thing for, you know, people that do well, that have the nice butter dish out on the counter.

• 3:23Speaker 03

  There's, there's certain things that I felt like, well, you know, like, uh, there's different, like, there's a certain belief, this is gonna sound sexist. I think like, you need food in the house

• 3:37Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  to keep a guy happy.

• 3:39Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  I know that sounds kind of like, well, why don't you get your own food? Because, you know, it's like, I'm just saying, like, all a guy needs is respect and food. That's all he needs.

• 3:51Speaker 00

  Amen.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  Anyway.

• 3:52H. Foley?

  Genie runs the show. Your wife runs the show down there?

• 3:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I mean, believe me, I'm totally a pussy, but...

• 3:59Speaker 00

  I talk a big game.

• 4:00Speaker 03

  The equation is very simple.

• 4:03Speaker 00

  It's like three, you need three, um, sue, I totally get it.

• 4:05H. Foley?

  But I mean, she handles everything.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  She handles everything.

• 4:08H. Foley?

  Sharp.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  You know, and it's, but you know what? I mean, we're comedians. In a way, us even being in a relationship is wrong.

• 4:19Speaker 00

  Dude.

• 4:19H. Foley?

  You aren't lying, brother.

• 4:20Speaker 00

  I, I, my wife asks, I went and just got food for myself the other day, and my wife, I came home and she goes, "What are you doing?" I go, "I got a sandwich." She's like, "It's dinner time." I go, "Yeah, that's why I got a sandwich." She's like, "You didn't even run it by me?" No.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  No, there's just this constant negotiation, but we're not from this planet.

• 4:38Speaker 00

  I, I concur.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  And you know, it's like narcissism or whatever, whatever you wanna call it.

• 4:43Speaker 00

  It's a bad mess.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  You knew we were dicks in America.

• 4:47H. Foley?

  Yeah, no kidding.

• 4:48Speaker 00

  Well, I got with my wife before the show took off, so I'm like, you, it could be significantly worse if I never got successful.

• 4:56H. Foley?

  I'd be lucky if we had the butter on the counter.

• 4:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly. You're lucky we got sandwich money.

• 5:00H. Foley?

  You could have the unsalted stuff you gotta keep in the freezer.

• 5:03Speaker 03

  Men are dumb. We're dumb.

• 5:04H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  We're really kind of dumb creatures. And I think like, the weird thing is like, when I'm on the road, my wife's like, what do you do all day? I'm like, I'm by myself. And it is heaven.

• 5:17H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  It's like, I'm, I really, you know, I have too many kids, but I have a lot of moments where I'm like, like when you hear about someone trapped on an island by themselves, I'm like, that sounds amazing. That sounds really amazing.

• 5:30H. Foley?

  As long as you get to the coconuts, yeah.

• 5:31Speaker 03

  I don't, I just wanna be alone.

• 5:33Speaker 00

  I was thinking about you yesterday. I, I had a kid five months ago. We were in a one bedroom apartment. We just, we just moved in the same building to a two bedroom. And there's still not enough space. And I literally went, I went, how the hell did Gaffigan do this with 15 kids?

• 5:47H. Foley?

  That was always the crazy thing about you. When you, when the kid, when you, all the kids were born, but you were in like a two bedroom apartment.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 5:55H. Foley?

  And you were doing very well.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  Well, some of it is, as you know, like, that step up from a one bedroom to a bedroom, to two bedrooms is pretty significant. And then if you have five kids, like, and then if you're, and then if you're touring, like, how do you navigate this? And my wife was constantly pregnant, so like, she, she's.

• 6:18Speaker 00

  Limited in what can, yeah.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  She's in nesting mode. She doesn't wanna like.

• 6:21Speaker 00

  Move.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  Move.

• 6:22Speaker 00

  While you're, while you're in Toledo, you're like, babe, ba, you know, put the stuff in boxes.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  So, but, yeah, I don't know. And then, of course, like, you know, our great grandparents were living in a shoebox. So, we're spoiled babies.

• 6:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, of course.

• 6:36H. Foley?

  I wanted to ask you, you're bringing up the household and stuff like that, just out of curiosity. I know your wife, you know, she does probably the order and all that kinda stuff and gets everything going. Will you pop in, let's say it's a Sunday.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:47H. Foley?

  Will you, yourself, run to the market, run to a Whole Foods, grab a couple of things?

• 6:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:52H. Foley?

  Do you enjoy that or dig it?

• 6:53Speaker 03

  I mean, I, you know, some of it is, there is these food delivery services now.

• 6:59Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 7:00Speaker 03

  And so you're like-

• 7:01Speaker 00

  Sounds like a guy who just heard about it this week. There's these food deliveries there-

• 7:05Speaker 03

  No, but some of it is like, I also think like-

• 7:07Speaker 00

  Sound like Andy Rooney?

• 7:08Speaker 03

  It is like you're playing, "There's somebody delivering food."

• 7:12Speaker 00

  That's a good one. Watch what they're seamless.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  But there is, there is, you're paying a surcharge for someone to deliver an unripe avocado.

• 7:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:21H. Foley?

  Oh man, they don't look at all.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  And, or, you know, like you have a certain type of ham you want and they don't give a shit. I mean, well, also they're like struggling to get by. They're probably an air traffic controller. You know what I mean? And so-

• 7:35H. Foley?

  All freaked out?

• 7:36Speaker 03

  That's why I will go, but like, some of it is also, my, my wife is very precise. She's also very conscious of not wanting to waste food. So, you know, it's like, well, we're going out of town, so I'm not gonna, we're gonna only eat leftovers. And I'm like, you know, these, we have like, you know, at home now, I have two teenage boys. I'm like, they're eating con-

• 7:59Speaker 00

  It'll go.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  Like, when you're a teenager, you're like, dinner, then a meal, then something before I go to bed. It's like, there's always things to be consumed. So, I'm erring on more having too much food there.

• 8:12Speaker 00

  Surplus.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  And she's much more practical.

• 8:16Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:16Speaker 03

  Anyway, but food is important.

• 8:18H. Foley?

  Since you brought it up.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:20H. Foley?

  What is the ham that Jim Gaffigan likes?

• 8:21Speaker 03

  I like it.

• 8:22H. Foley?

  Your boy's head?

• 8:23Speaker 03

  I like, um, well, I'm less concerned about the brand.

• 8:27H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  I don't like-

• 8:29H. Foley?

  That means there's a Whole Foods man.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  I don't like, no, I don't like honey.

• 8:32Speaker 00

  Really?

• 8:33Speaker 03

  I don't like, I don't like maple.

• 8:35Speaker 00

  An aristocrat.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  Huh. I don't like, I feel like maple is kind of like, first of all, maple syrup is sugar spit. Let's be serious.

• 8:43H. Foley?

  You like the real stuff though, right?

• 8:45Speaker 03

  I mean, it's alright, but like, and I love performing in Canada and Vermont. And when you get there, they give you a jug of syrup that you're gonna use for the rest of your life.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  And it's like, and I understand some people love a maple bacon or, you know, I don't, I don't like sweets switched in with my savory.

• 9:08Speaker 00

  I, I'm right there with you.

• 9:09H. Foley?

  So regular ham up the middle.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  Regular ham, I don't like the sweet shit. I'm so angry about this. I like thin.

• 9:16Speaker 00

  I like thick.

• 9:17H. Foley?

  Of course, see, gentlemen.

• 9:19Speaker 03

  You know, it's like, I don't, like, you know.

• 9:22H. Foley?

  Will you take the piece? Did he slices it?

• 9:24Speaker 03

  Yes. I like it. I like it. I like it. Very thin sliced. It can be prepackaged. I'm not, you know, I mean, I'd love it if it was from a deli, but like, you know, from the deli counter, just sliced it right in front of me, but I.

• 9:37Speaker 00

  You're talking the stuff that comes in like the Tupperware prepackaged? That's a tough look, Jim.

• 9:41H. Foley?

  The Hillshire Farms. I'm with you though. I dig it. It's got a little slime on it, but I'm cool with it.

• 9:45Speaker 00

  That stuff comes out wet. It's wet.

• 9:47Speaker 03

  It's from 1991, but like, it's fine. It's fine. It's in a Tupperware container. You gotta save those.

• 9:55H. Foley?

  Oh, of course.

• 9:55Speaker 03

  And then, and then inside, there's a little plastic bag in there. But the thing with the ham in those containers, you can look in the fridge and go, oh, we got ham. And then you open it up, there's only one piece.

• 10:07Speaker 00

  They fold it in there, like, it's like origami once it's in there.

• 10:10Speaker 03

  I mean, these are the struggles that we encounter.

• 10:12Speaker 00

  Man, if there's anybody built for the show, it's a guy with an opinion on Tupperware ham.

• 10:16H. Foley?

  Is there anything at the house that is just dads, like, like, you know, I'm just example, like, double stuffed Oreos or something like that? Like, hey, don't touch your dad's root beer. That was always a big thing with us.

• 10:27Speaker 03

  Well, I'm kinda talking about in my standup how that's the thing, how kids, my clothes are supposedly open season now.

• 10:34H. Foley?

  Really?

• 10:34Speaker 03

  They just take my clothes, even though I've said no, but.

• 10:38H. Foley?

  The boys are wearing your size?

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 10:41H. Foley?

  They're getting big.

• 10:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:42H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  And then, but I would say, you know, I have, I've gotten into bourbon and they, cause I have, my five kids are 13 to 21.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  And so, you know, you're young, you've got a young kid.

• 10:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:58Speaker 03

  It's like, there is a point, and we remember this as teenagers, where you're like, alright, I'm gonna just, I'm not gonna take the whole bottle, I'm gonna take some of it. So I have-

• 11:06Speaker 00

  A little dabble, do you?

• 11:07Speaker 03

  I love bourbon, and so I will strategically place certain bottles. So like, I have a 19-year-old son, and if he's hanging out with his buddies, I'm like, "Don't drink this stuff, you can have this stuff." And he's like, "I never would."

• 11:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't even try.

• 11:25Speaker 03

  But of course he does, you know what I mean? So there's, you strategically place things, kind of like, if, if something's gonna be taken, you can-

• 11:34Speaker 00

  Take the cheap stuff.

• 11:35H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  You can take this.

• 11:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? But yeah, so like, my bourbon, they don't touch my bourbon, but they probably do.

• 11:43Speaker 00

  But they might, I'm not sure.

• 11:44H. Foley?

  Tastes like ice tea.

• 11:45Speaker 03

  Children are criminals, of course. But you're living with criminals.

• 11:49Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  Like, I think that we are unaware of how much we tortured our parents until we have teenagers.

• 11:57Speaker 00

  I, yeah, yeah. I think about it now, even it's been so, and I'm like, oh my god, what I've done to like, as I'm having a kid, I have a kid, and I'm looking at him, "I love you so much, this is crazy."

• 12:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:06Speaker 00

  The fact that I was ever like, looking at my parents like, "I hate you."

• 12:09Speaker 03

  Yes!

• 12:09Speaker 00

  Is crazy. It's crazy that he's gonna go at some point and go, "I hate you."

• 12:14Speaker 03

  I, you know what, I've debated, there is this narrative of like-

• 12:17Speaker 00

  Which he will hate me.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  This narrative of like, "I would never say F you to my father." And like, cause my dad was so scary.

• 12:28Speaker 00

  Uh-huh.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  But like, dealing with my teenagers, I'm like, "Of course I probably did."

• 12:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:32Speaker 03

  Do you know what I mean? I know there's this romantic notion of like, "I never swore in front of my mama." You know what I mean? "I never looked my daddy in the eyes." But the reality is, is teenagers are a handful. And I'm saying even the best ones at times are a problem. I don't know.

• 12:49H. Foley?

  I get a feeling Jim's going through it these days.

• 12:52Speaker 00

  He's got five between 13 and 21.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:55H. Foley?

  Athletically, where, where are you guys at comparatively? Do you think you could still take the 21-year-old if push came to shove?

• 13:03Speaker 03

  Um-

• 13:04Speaker 00

  You're a big guy.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  My, my 21-

• 13:06Speaker 00

  Division 1 football player.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  My 21-year-old is, is taller than me.

• 13:10Speaker 00

  What?

• 13:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's 6'2", probably, I'm 6 and a half an inch. My-

• 13:17Speaker 03

  Fifteen year, my, my daughter's, you know, I think I could take.

• 13:23Speaker 00

  She's four.

• 13:23Speaker 03

  My fourteen year old is getting close to six foot.

• 13:28Speaker 00

  Are you kidding me?

• 13:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just, and then.

• 13:32Speaker 00

  Jim Gaffigan.

• 13:32Speaker 03

  And I literally, because you know, the, you know, he passes out, so I have to pick him up and kind of walk him to the bed and it's like, it's like the same.

• 13:42Speaker 00

  It's like you're carrying your, your brother out.

• 13:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, it's literally, I might as well be in the military, like, hey, I gotta get my fellow soldier to bed.

• 13:50Speaker 00

  Someone get Gaffigan to bed.

• 13:51Speaker 03

  And you know, the thing is, is that these kids are always growing. So like when they crash in your bed, you climb into bed. And again, we forget this. It's like, they're just growing. So it's literally a pool of sweat.

• 14:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:07Speaker 03

  Like, it's like, he didn't pee or anything. He just sweated for no reason because he's in the middle of a growth spurt.

• 14:12Speaker 00

  The cells are splitting, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:14Speaker 03

  So, anyway, parenting's great.

• 14:18H. Foley?

  All right. So we're gonna put you back through the wringer a little bit.

• 14:20Speaker 00

  Yes. Um, hmm. One of the, one of the common, you know, one of the more, more common questions we've been asking guests, uh, since you've been here is growing up, who was the most famous person you have met as a kid?

• 14:32H. Foley?

  As a child.

• 14:33Speaker 00

  Before, and maybe you're a teenager, like.

• 14:35Speaker 03

  I wonder if I answered this, but like.

• 14:37Speaker 00

  I don't remember, so.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  Jimmy Walker.

• 14:40Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  I met Jimmy Walker from Good Times.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  That's a great one.

• 14:44Speaker 03

  I had a dynamite hat. And I, you know, we kind of looked similar. So people probably thought.

• 14:53Speaker 00

  Is that Jimmy Gaffigan or Jimmy Walker?

• 14:55Speaker 03

  I stood in line. No, it was, it was, it was kind of a bucket hat.

• 14:59Speaker 00

  Oh, sure, sure, sure.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  And what he would wear on Good Times. And I stood in line and I met him and I think there's a photograph of it too, somewhere. I was a goofy looking, I mean, I'm a goofy looking adult. You know what I mean? So, but I remember. I had Jimmy Walker hat and then I would wear. See, I'm older than you guys. I had Mork and Mindy. I used to wear the suspenders.

• 15:25Speaker 00

  No way.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  Of Mork and I wasn't gay. Cause they were Rainbow.

• 15:30Speaker 00

  I got five kids.

• 15:30Speaker 03

  That was before Rainbow was gay. It was just more kind of like clown.

• 15:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, wacky.

• 15:36H. Foley?

  Didn't he have like a white finger on it to point it that way? He had some kind of button on it or something?

• 15:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think there was, it's so, that was such a moment. But he was the funniest guy. Yeah, Mork and Mindy was just an amazing show.

• 15:49H. Foley?

  Yeah, unbelievable.

• 15:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, he did have a pin, yeah.

• 15:52Speaker 03

  The, the age of the typical garbage listener.

• 15:57H. Foley?

  Listener?

• 15:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:58H. Foley?

  All over this pack. So I'm 49.

• 16:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:01H. Foley?

  He's 39. Yeah, and then 20s, 30s.

• 16:05Speaker 00

  Everybody, but mid 20s to mid 40s, like into the 40s. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:13Speaker 03

  And when you do live events, like when, can you sit there and go, oh, this guy's coming to our show?

• 16:19Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. If you're like, if you're like at the restaurant two blocks away and like someone kind of looks at you, you're like, that guy's for sure.

• 16:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:27Speaker 00

  He's gonna be in the front row. Yeah.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  I was, I, I went to, um, I did shows in Indy and, uh, and I was invited to the Colts game. I, cause I'd done stuff with the Colts and, um, and so I went with, and it reminded me the last time I went to a Colts game. Cause the Colts, Indianapolis, the, it's similar to actually growing up in Northwest Indiana. And I don't know if Notre Dame games are like this, but like the entire stadium is white people. And all the players are black.

• 17:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:02Speaker 03

  So like, I remember when I went to a Colts game with my manager and my agent and my, my agent was like, this stadium is exactly Jim Gaffigan's Democrat.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  It was all kind of thirty, forty, fifty, white guys, married, maybe, you know, maybe a grandmother and a grandfather mixed in there. I don't know what brought that up. But like, it was just like, it's, you know, it's like, I'm right, that's all right who I, that's who I am.

• 17:34Speaker 00

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• 18:17Speaker 00

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• 19:02Speaker 00

  one of the broads in your life. This is the men talking. Listen, this is an ease. I'm a bad gift giver. It's well documented on this show. I talk about it all the time. I am bad at giving gifts, and Aura Frames makes it easy to be a good gift giver. My mom got an Aura Frame, my wife got an Aura Frame, my mother-in-law got an Aura Frame, my sister got an Aura Frame. I upload pictures of the baby, oh, look at the baby, bada bing bada Boom, it's out the door. Plus, if you send them to your parents, they feel like they're technology wizards. You know what I mean? This is like NASA level technology to them. They don't know what the heck's going on. You get unlimited free photos and video. You just download the Aura app and connect to the wifi. You can preload the photos before it ships. Keep adding them from anywhere

• 19:45Speaker 00

  at any time. You can personalize your gift box, add a message before it arrives. And for a limited time, visit AuraFrames.com and get $45 off AuraFrames best-selling Carver Matte Frames, named number one by Wirecutter, by using the promo code GARBAGE at the checkout. Let them know the boy sent you. That's AuraFrames, A-U-R-A-Frames.com, promo code GARBAGE. This exclusive Black Friday/Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year, so order now before it ends. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. That. Speaking of that, you're at a game. Do you have a, you know, you're Jim Gaffigan, you got guys. Do you have a ticket guy that you go through? Do you go through the agents in Manor? Or do you have like, someone at life? Somebody? Are you going on and buying tickets to?

• 20:25H. Foley?

  If you want to go to a Knick game tonight, what are you doing?

• 20:28Speaker 03

  Knick games, I've, you know, because, and you guys have probably done some MSG venues, right?

• 20:34Speaker 00

  No.

• 20:34H. Foley?

  No.

• 20:35Speaker 03

  Once you do an MSG venue, like the Beacon or Radio City, then you kind of, you can go to a Knick game or a Ranger game.

• 20:44Speaker 00

  They want it for promotion.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  They want it for promotion. So if you're at a Rangers game or a Knick game, they can put you on the Jumbotron and say, like, I'm gonna be at the Beacon, so they're more open to it. So it's kind of a cross-promotion. They also own the Chicago Theater. Now I'm like for MSG entertainment. But, so there is that arrangement there. They also do a Garden of Laughter event. So there is some, but yeah, no, it's amazing.

• 21:17H. Foley?

  Let's say you're out in LA. You want to go to a Lakers game. Who are you, are you going, are you going on to buy tickets yourself?

• 21:21Speaker 03

  I would, I would reach out to my manager and see if he knows someone.

• 21:26Speaker 00

  Let them facilitate. You work your magic.

• 21:27Speaker 03

  Because my manager, his company, I think, you know, they're owned by another company that owns a sports management thing.

• 21:35H. Foley?

  Yeah. Let's say nine out of 10 times, that's going your way, right?

• 21:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:40H. Foley?

  10 out of 10 times.

• 21:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. But I, you know, I think-

• 21:42Speaker 00

  You're not in the nosebleeds.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  I'm not in the nosebleeds. But I think that one Easter weekend, I brought-

• 21:49Speaker 03

  My daughter and all her friends to a Mets game and I bought the tickets.

• 21:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:53H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 21:54Speaker 03

  And so it's like, I have paid, but I'm also like.

• 21:58H. Foley?

  I didn't like it.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  I'm also lazy.

• 22:01H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 22:02Speaker 03

  And some of it is, even, you know, my 14-year-old loves the Knicks so much. And like, like when they lost to the Pacers, and I'm from Indiana, when they locked to the papers, he was like depressed for a good week.

• 22:16H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:16Speaker 03

  And I was like, oh my gosh.

• 22:17H. Foley?

  He's a New York kid.

• 22:18Speaker 03

  He's got, he's got the sports fan addiction, right? And, um, but when I would go, uh, you know, you could, you could go, you could sit there and get two tickets. Cause also they, they, they kind of get some promotion out of it. I don't know. It's an amazing deal.

• 22:35Speaker 00

  That's great.

• 22:37Speaker 03

  It's an amazing thing.

• 22:37H. Foley?

  I like being famous.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. That's great. But you guys got that.

• 22:41Speaker 00

  Not really.

• 22:42H. Foley?

  Not with the Knicks.

• 22:43Speaker 00

  We can go, no, we'll, we'll, we'll ask. We got, we got good representation.

• 22:47H. Foley?

  Go to a Coney Island Cyclone game.

• 22:48Speaker 00

  Three hearts.

• 22:49Speaker 03

  Well, you know, I mean, you, you got this thing. I mean, maybe an Eagles game, right?

• 22:54H. Foley?

  Yeah, that.

• 22:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. We got, we got connections through, uh, from Philadelphia. So we, we, we, we got that, but like.

• 23:00H. Foley?

  His cousin sells peanuts down there.

• 23:02Speaker 00

  So does my grandma. Uh, we'll ask for like, hey, can you get me tickets to this? And I think it goes like, they go, hey, we got Jim Gaffigan asking and AYG. We lose. We lose the competition a lot.

• 23:16Speaker 03

  You know, I tried to get into a playoffs thing, a playoffs game with my son and they're like, no.

• 23:22Speaker 00

  Nah, no kidding.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 00

  Really?

• 23:24Speaker 03

  But then there's the other side. Like I'm from outside Chicago and I was invited to a Cubs game, a Cubs World Series game, and I could not, first of all, I lived in New York, but I was like, I can't take those tickets from someone who has been this loyal Cubs fan for the last.

• 23:41Speaker 00

  Look at that.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  I mean, so I do have some principles.

• 23:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  Where it was like, I can't, I can't do that. But particularly this is the, you know, they're, and they're like, we could, we'd be, uh, cause I think I had thrown out a first pitch and I was like, I can't take a ticket from.

• 23:55H. Foley?

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  You know, I'm a great guy.

• 23:58H. Foley?

  Instead he hired a helicopter and just circled and hovered the whole time. Throwing hundreds down at people. Um, I wanted to ask you, I assume now the refrigerator is in the wall at the house, right?

• 24:11Speaker 00

  It looks like a cabinet.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  Uh, yes, yes, it is, it is.

• 24:16H. Foley?

  But back in the day, was there cereal on top of the refrigerator? Were there boxes of cereal ever on top of the refrigerator?

• 24:22Speaker 03

  Yes, and there was, there was also, um, it's so interesting, it's so sad how cereal is now considered this great poison, and it was kind of this, uh, it was

• 24:36Speaker 00

  It was a balanced, part of a balanced breakfast as far as I was concerned.

• 24:38Speaker 03

  And it was, it was also a form of independence, right? Like, my kids are old enough, there was very much like, hey, let's put out a box of cereal, and you can even put out a box of milk if you're going to bed at like 2 a.m. and a kid can come out and kind of do it, and now, as a parent, you're not supposed to do that because cereal is garbage.

• 24:59Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:00Speaker 03

  Nothing personal.

• 25:01Speaker 00

  What?

• 25:02H. Foley?

  Do you still partake, though?

• 25:03Speaker 03

  Cereal, it's been a while.

• 25:05Speaker 00

  Really?

• 25:06Speaker 03

  It's been a while, it's been a while. I mean, I did that, that movie Unfrosted.

• 25:11H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:11Speaker 03

  So, uh, but you know, there's certain give and take, like, you know, it's not like my favorite poison, you know, like, I'd rather, again, I'm more of a savory guy, I'd rather eat a huge block of cheddar cheese than have a bowl of cereal.

• 25:29Speaker 00

  I didn't know what he was gonna say, I wasn't thinking block of cheddar cheese.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  Huge black cock. No.

• 25:34Speaker 00

  What?

• 25:35H. Foley?

  I literally did that this weekend.

• 25:36Speaker 00

  What?

• 25:37H. Foley?

  The cheese, the cheese, the cheese.

• 25:39Speaker 00

  Is that what his damn was?

• 25:42Speaker 00

  The cheese. That's my boy cheese.

• 25:43H. Foley?

  He was a tender lover, I'll have yous know.

• 25:45Speaker 00

  Uh, while we're on food a little bit, uh, how do you like getting your steak cooked? You go out?

• 25:49Speaker 03

  Uh, I'm medium rare, but I, I'm much more of a medium guy.

• 25:55Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  And my dad would burn, uh, my dad, I might, I don't know if I talked about this last time, my dad was the, you know, his parents, like, he was born in like 36 or something like that, so like, he was

• 26:11Speaker 03

  Very, they were very sensitive. So like when my mom died, my dad retired, he ate steak every day the rest of his life.

• 26:19Speaker 00

  Really?

• 26:20Speaker 03

  And it was because it was this luxury item, right? And I think it was far more accessible. Like, I didn't realize this, but like, people used to eat liver because there wasn't enough steak to go around. And so, but like, he would, uh, he would, he was a big grill guy, not good at it. And, uh, he would go out there and smoke cigarettes, so there would be ashes on your steak sometimes.

• 26:45Speaker 00

  Flavor, baby.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  And also, uh, the, uh, they would always be overcooked. I grill, I'm not good at it, so he's kind of passed that tradition on. But I would say that I prefer medium rare, but I'm also at the point where I can only have, like, I was invited the night before I filmed a special to go to a steakhouse, and I was like, I can't do it.

• 27:08Speaker 00

  Takes it out of you.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  I, I can't, it's like-

• 27:10Speaker 00

  It's like, you get a hangover from it.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  Baby can't recover.

• 27:14Speaker 00

  Baby likes his meat from a steak.

• 27:16Speaker 03

  And so, uh, but yeah, no, I like, what are you guys, you guys?

• 27:20H. Foley?

  Medium rare, of course.

• 27:21Speaker 00

  I'm a medium man. I go medium.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  Medium rare is, is, that's the acceptable thing, right?

• 27:29H. Foley?

  Yeah, anything over medium rare.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  But rare is like, then you're, you know-

• 27:32Speaker 00

  That's too much for me.

• 27:33H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 27:34Speaker 03

  That's like, that's where real men do, right?

• 27:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, we do-

• 27:38H. Foley?

  That's what Bill the Butcher ate it.

• 27:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, don't say that.

• 27:42Speaker 00

  You do the, you go to, you do the porterhouse, it was, it's been told to us, you go, there's four people, you do the porterhouse for four, medium rare. Parts of that will be medium. The outside of that will, you know, will be a little more done. That's where I live. They live in the middle, split the sides.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  I love a steakhouse.

• 27:58Speaker 00

  What do you like in New York? Do you have a, do you have a, one of your favorite haunts?

• 28:01Speaker 03

  I, um, you know, I never really get to go out to dinner when I'm home, you know, but I do love Smith and Malinsky's. I love, and I had- I, I had, uh, you know, the, uh, the whole ritual, the experience, you know, like the, the waiters, how they're kind of gruff.

• 28:19Speaker 00

  The career waiters I love.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  They show you the chunk of meat, like, you can get this, like this. We also-

• 28:25Speaker 03

  Like a potato.

• 28:27Speaker 00

  It's so scripted and recited.

• 28:29Speaker 03

  You know, there's also a lobster and you're like huh huh.

• 28:33H. Foley?

  As a fat guy, what I appreciate about a corporate steakhouse and about certain hotels.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:39H. Foley?

  The chairs are bigger. It's comfortable. It's cozy.

• 28:43Speaker 00

  It's not one of like the Lower East Side, small restaurants that you're bumping into tables.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  What is your guys? I'm interested.

• 28:48Speaker 00

  We're a Gallagher's family.

• 28:49H. Foley?

  Gallagher's.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  Gallagher's.

• 28:50H. Foley?

  Well, I love Smith and Lewinsky's.

• 28:51Speaker 00

  It's great.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  Is there still?

• 28:53H. Foley?

  I like Lugers.

• 28:53Speaker 03

  I was in, I was in Atlantic City and I went to Old Homestead. Is Old Homestead still on?

• 28:59Speaker 00

  It's on like 14th Street or whatever.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  I feel like that might be the, one of the oldest ones.

• 29:03Speaker 00

  I've never been.

• 29:05H. Foley?

  I think Keen's is the oldest, which we've never been.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. And you've gone out to Brooklyn to the uh.

• 29:10Speaker 00

  Lugers. I've never done Lugers.

• 29:11H. Foley?

  I'm a Lugers man.

• 29:12Speaker 03

  It's interesting. I think what I remember, I've been there twice. I think Lugers, they kind of, they cook their steaks a different way. Like it's a little bit, it's a little bit more well done. Is it?

• 29:22Speaker 00

  Very butter based.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:25Speaker 03

  But I love Ruth Chris. I love it's being a butter. You know, I love the sizzling plate.

• 29:30H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 29:31Speaker 00

  Give me a little razzle dazzle. We're in show business. You know what I mean?

• 29:34H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 29:35Speaker 00

  Um, what's the one in Indy? St. Elmo or?

• 29:38Speaker 03

  St. Elmo. Yeah.

• 29:39H. Foley?

  Shrimp cocktail?

• 29:40Speaker 03

  Shrimp cocktail. Got the shrimp cocktail.

• 29:42H. Foley?

  Home run.

• 29:43Speaker 03

  Love the, but you know, I feel like I, I, you know, that's my big thing is when I go out of town and I do a show. Um, I want to go to a steakhouse afterwards. Steakhouse or a whiskey bar. Now I, I like going to a whiskey bar and some of that. I love the whole, the whiskey culture thing. It's, I feel like you guys are young. You're gonna get there if you're not there. It is, it's a nice thing to nerd out on. It's, it's less expensive than an affair. It's uh, you can nerd out a little bit and uh, you can, you know, you have like two of them and you're done.

• 30:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  The thing is, you have a bunch of beers. You feel too full.

• 30:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, I did it last night.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  Right? I'm, I'm your, I'm your whiskey mentor.

• 30:29Speaker 00

  Sure. The, the problem with me is like the stopping it too. I haven't fully developed that yet. Uh, so it's like I drink them like they're beer. Two, I do two Manhattans. Nothing's better. Two's, two's not enough and three's too many is where I live.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  I totally get it. I totally get it. But there is, there comes a point where like. The beer, kind of like, you've swallowed a loaf of bread. For me, that's how, I like Guinness, but like, that's how Guinness has always been. And then it just switched to like, that was the thing. And then, no, but the whiskey path, it's, I strongly recommend, I encourage alcohol.

• 31:05Speaker 00

  I believe.

• 31:07H. Foley?

  So we stay light with the beer. Garage beer. A beer that tastes like beer. Garage beer.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  And is garage beer good?

• 31:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:14H. Foley?

  Awesome.

• 31:15Speaker 03

  It is?

• 31:15Speaker 00

  It's just like, it's like a middle of the road. It's like a, they call it beer flavored beer, is like, is like their, their bit. But it's like, it's just like-

• 31:23H. Foley?

  You want one?

• 31:24Speaker 03

  No, no. Is it, you know, is it, is it, is it kind of like a Bud Light? Or is it close, does it have a little more character, like a Yingling?

• 31:33H. Foley?

  More character.

• 31:34Speaker 00

  More character than a Bud Light, but it's still like a light beer. I love a Yingling.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  And I say that, cause it's, you know, I know you-

• 31:39Speaker 00

  Cause I'm pandering.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  Pandering to you, P A.

• 31:42Speaker 00

  That's how you get to be Jim Gaffigan.

• 31:44H. Foley?

  Go Birds, he starts going, go Birds. Punches you in the face. Go Birds! Something that we've been discussing, that's been going back around, is, I know now your time is very strict and valuable and stuff like that, but was there a time, when you'd be flying out to do shows for the weekend, would you go to the airport in the morning and have breakfast at the airport before you flew out? And how do you feel about that?

• 32:10Speaker 03

  That's pretty interesting. First of all, it's so sad, how the airport is just, they just, you know, sometimes you're in an airport and you'll see a restaurant that you like, and it breaks my heart. I'm like, oh, you've ruined it.

• 32:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, and it's, it's like, I know it's hard to execute it, and I know that like, generally, the people that work at the airport are like, maybe a half a day from suicide. And I can appreciate-

• 32:38Speaker 00

  Imagine going through security every time you gotta go to work. I'd be upset.

• 32:41H. Foley?

  Brutal.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  It's just a brutal existence, but like-

• 32:46Speaker 03

  I will consistently make the mistake.

• 32:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:50Speaker 03

  Of having breakfast, because I also, when I go out of town, if I, if I'm flying somewhere, even if I'm taking Amtrak, I'll do it in the morning, because I don't want to, I don't want to risk the possibility of that anxiety of.

• 33:05Speaker 00

  Get out early.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  It was delayed two hours, or.

• 33:08Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 33:08Speaker 03

  It's like, I like to get in, go to the hotel, sit down, and then I can kind of like breathe for a second.

• 33:15Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  But the question, the breakfast, you know, say if you could do a bagel, some, the worst bagel I've ever had was.

• 33:22Speaker 00

  They're so bad.

• 33:23Speaker 03

  Just so bad.

• 33:24Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 33:25Speaker 03

  Like, you know, like, and I'm not a bagel snob, I don't know bagels, but I'm just like, this is, like, I felt like I should report it to someone.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  But like.

• 33:35Speaker 00

  Call TSA.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  There's just something about the airport, like, the drinks, like, a cold drink, a non-cold drink, like, at the airport, they're like, you know what, we're gonna make it lukewarm. You know what I mean?

• 33:49Speaker 00

  We don't want to be shelling off.

• 33:50Speaker 03

  It's, it's just, and if you're aware of, like, but, you know, I would say in Austin, I think you can get a decent, there's some airports where.

• 33:59Speaker 00

  With a good restaurant in it, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:01Speaker 03

  Decent, but like, generally, even if you think of like, a good chain steak place, it's not gonna be the same experience.

• 34:09Speaker 00

  A hundred percent.

• 34:10H. Foley?

  You're talking to two, you're talking, you're talking to three very big fans of the Palm at JFK.

• 34:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:16H. Foley?

  That's what we do, we get there early.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  You do.

• 34:18Speaker 00

  Set up shop.

• 34:18Speaker 03

  Is it that good?

• 34:19Speaker 00

  No.

• 34:20H. Foley?

  No, we're just garbage.

• 34:21Speaker 00

  And we just like hanging out, we like going in, we like a nice breakfast out.

• 34:24H. Foley?

  They were trashing us for it.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  All right, so let me talk about, so if you're going to the Palm, do you get the steak and eggs, then?

• 34:29Speaker 00

  Some people do.

• 34:30H. Foley?

  I have.

• 34:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:31Speaker 00

  That's a, that's a, that's a heavy, that's a heavy breakfast.

• 34:34H. Foley?

  More hamburger.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  Maybe I, maybe I'm being unfair.

• 34:39H. Foley?

  No, you're not.

• 34:39Speaker 00

  No, you're, you're, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:41H. Foley?

  You're, you're right there.

• 34:42Speaker 03

  There's just like, just, it's just like.

• 34:46Speaker 03

  How hard is it? Well, well, they- Like, when you get a delivery from a- One of these order, these food ordering apps. These food, no, when you get, like, here, let me- Back in my day- Let me, let me, let me come clean about this. Alright, I love the pound. I don't like, first of all, I don't like room service, because I think that, like, it sits around and then, you know, it's not even that you have to pay 25% for someone to take an elevator. It's, it's- What do you care? But, but, but, like, it's just, it's not, I want it from the kitchen in front of me. Okay. And so, like, I also don't like to get, I don't like to use those delivery services, but occasionally you have to, right?

• 35:29Speaker 03

  I order, so I live downtown, I ordered from Blue Ribbon Chicken, which is good. Love it. Which is pricey, right? Yeah.

• 35:35Speaker 00

  Never been.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  And, ordered at 5:05, it's delivered to my place at 6:40. Okay, that's, you know, so, it's not the, it's not the Uber Eats guy or the, whatever, the DoorDash guy's fault, you know? And of course, it's built in, you gotta tip 25%. My god. And so then- You are Andy Rooney. And so then you sit there, and so then you get the food, the order's always messed up. Sure. Always messed up. And so, here's the thing, so- Now I gotta call Uber. I've got all these, I've got all these teenagers, right? So, everyone gets their stuff, and then, I'm like, and then I order for the second meal,

• 36:16Speaker 03

  right, you know, and I got, like, some, you know, a chicken breast for, like, $80 each. And I go, and I go, so there's, so they're not, it's not in there. So then I call Blue Ribbon Chicken. You call Blue Ribbon? I call Blue Ribbon Chicken. Did you say I'm Jim Gaffigan? No. He goes, "Please hold for Jim Gaffigan," and then, and then gets up. And I said, I go, I go, "Hey."

• 36:37H. Foley?

  They know it's you.

• 36:38Speaker 03

  No, they don't. And I go, hey, we ordered, in our order, there were supposed to be three chicken breasts,

• 36:48Speaker 03

  fried chicken, and they didn't come. Now, I know the person on the other end is earning 850 an hour and is like, I don't give a shit. You know what I mean? But like, I was like, what are we doing? She goes, oh, well, you ordered that from DoorDash. You gotta call DoorDash.

• 37:04H. Foley?

  That's probably gonna set you up a wall.

• 37:06Speaker 03

  And so then I'm like, I'm like, it's not, again, it's not, it's not gonna be solved. It's not about the money. It's just like, the, I mean, so I've done it with like Shake Shack. Go, I've gone there and they stapled the bag so you can't even check.

• 37:24Speaker 00

  I wanna see my burger.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  That's not an accident. And some of it is, yeah, again, God bless these people that are making 650, 1050 an hour. But like, it's not hard. Do I sound like a prick?

• 37:38H. Foley?

  That's so funny.

• 37:39Speaker 00

  I get it.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  It's like, what, you know, everyone makes mistakes, but like, every single time? Every single time?

• 37:49Speaker 00

  Well, it's, these apps have added this volume of work for them. It's like, imagine being in the weeds when you had to go wait in line to get to order the burgers.

• 37:58Speaker 03

  It's like.

• 37:58Speaker 00

  And now it's like, there's, instead of one person ordering at the counter, there's 15 orders coming in every 10 seconds. And they're like, guy, you're lucky, you're lucky you got a half of your order.

• 38:07Speaker 03

  And then, and then, you know, like, it's like, you know, some McDonald's, it's just drive through. Like, they, they might as well not even have a seating thing.

• 38:17Speaker 00

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• 38:57Speaker 00

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• 39:39Speaker 00

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• 40:24Speaker 00

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• 40:50H. Foley?

  What else is there? You still banging on Mickey D's? You still?

• 40:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll go double quarter pound of cheese when I treat myself.

• 40:57H. Foley?

  No kidding.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? And the fries. They're legendary.

• 41:02H. Foley?

  They're legendary.

• 41:02Speaker 00

  The best.

• 41:03H. Foley?

  I don't know what they've done over the last couple of months, but they've really got, the McDonald's by me, they've really gotten their shit together.

• 41:09Speaker 03

  Really?

• 41:10H. Foley?

  The fries are unbelievable.

• 41:11Speaker 03

  Let's talk, let's talk, some important talk.

• 41:14H. Foley?

  Sure, please.

• 41:16Speaker 03

  Let's talk about fast food.

• 41:17H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 41:18Speaker 03

  And, uh, I'm gonna, maybe I might, I might alienate people. I've been on this planet trying to destroy my body for a long time.

• 41:26H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  Okay?

• 41:27H. Foley?

  Well documented.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  Eating fast food, right? And we all know that fast food, they should just get rid of the S. It's, it's fat food, right? And so, I know that, that my pecking order is Shake Shack is the best. Then it goes, then, then when we go to the big chain.

• 41:45Speaker 00

  I find that to qualify that as fast food.

• 41:48H. Foley?

  By the way, that Danny Meyer restaurant.

• 41:50Speaker 03

  By the way, breakfast? Have you had the Shake Shack breakfast sandwich?

• 41:55Speaker 00

  What the heck is even that?

• 41:57Speaker 03

  It's a sausage, egg sandwich. It's, it's insane. Anyway, do yourself a favor, get that. So let me, so like, let's go down our pecking order.

• 42:06H. Foley?

  Let's do it. Okay, Shake Shack?

• 42:07Speaker 00

  Oh, that looks good.

• 42:08Speaker 03

  Then you go, then for me, it's Wendy's. But if it's a regional thing, if, if I'm kind of like in St. Louis, or, or, you know, like if I'm in Milwaukee or Michigan, I'll get Culvers. That'll go above.

• 42:23H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  Then it goes Wendy's.

• 42:24H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 42:25Speaker 03

  Then McDonald's, safety, but like also, you know that like there's a lot of chemicals that they make in a plant in New Jersey that they spray on other things. Every couple of years, this is, you know, this is, I, I, I make this mistake. Some of it, I don't want to identify. There's a comedian I'm friends with who, who opens for me sometimes. And, um, he refuses to eat at McDonald's because I think he did a corporate and McDonald's screwed him, screwed him over. And so when we're together and we're going to the airport and they'll be like, I'll get you lunch. Or dinner or something like that. He goes, I can't eat McDonald's. You can get it. And I'm like, I'm not gonna get McDonald's and not get you something.

• 43:06H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's crazy.

• 43:07Speaker 03

  So, but here's what happens.

• 43:08H. Foley?

  That's, that's, they shouldn't put you in that position.

• 43:11Speaker 03

  So what, what happens is the most inconsistent fast food place is Burger King. It's just.

• 43:19Speaker 00

  A hundred percent.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  And so we were in a college market. I don't know where it was, but like, meaning high volume. You know, these are college students. Eating this poison, right? And I was like, alright, it's worth the gamble. This food

• 43:36Speaker 03

  was not edible.

• 43:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  And I'm not being a snob, like, I've

• 43:42Speaker 00

  I love how you're like, I'm not being a snob about my chicken tenders from fucking Burger King.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  Like, the Burger King

• 43:48H. Foley?

  Shake Shack is fast food.

• 43:49Speaker 00

  I know.

• 43:50H. Foley?

  I went there for Thanksgiving last year.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  No, but like, even the Burger King commercials, I'm like, what is going on?

• 43:57H. Foley?

  They've lost it.

• 43:58Speaker 03

  Like, the wheels are off.

• 44:00H. Foley?

  They're off, but we have a theory here. Okay, we have a belief that America is at its best and culture is at its best when Burger King and Pepsi are in fashion.

• 44:11Speaker 00

  When they're clicking.

• 44:12H. Foley?

  When they're clicking.

• 44:12Speaker 00

  When Burger King's in full stride, everything's right in the world.

• 44:16H. Foley?

  Remember Burger Buddies?

• 44:16Speaker 03

  You know, you know.

• 44:17H. Foley?

  Remember Burger Buddies? You remember Burger Buddies?

• 44:18Speaker 03

  Well, you know, it's so, some of that is, you know that, that, so Coke and Pepsi have this rivalry and, and so like, what happened is Coke would make it so you can't, every fast food place would have to have Coke. And so what Pepsi encountered is like, we have to buy a fast food chain so that we can put Pepsi in there.

• 44:45Speaker 00

  KFC, right?

• 44:46Speaker 03

  So that's why they bought KFC and Taco Bell. And

• 44:50H. Foley?

  Which I respect it.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  You know, that's, that's how you survive.

• 44:52Speaker 00

  That's one of the greatest moves in the, to have the brain to think like that.

• 44:56Speaker 03

  But whoever is running Burger King right now

• 44:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's not the king.

• 45:00H. Foley?

  It's bad.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  Is

• 45:01H. Foley?

  They need a rebrand, stat.

• 45:03Speaker 03

  I think it's, I think it's probably, it makes you realize, oh, this is hard.

• 45:08H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  You go into a Burger King and you're like, oh, this is hard to be, you know, to, to have a franchise to like, like, I don't know, the new products, some of them, they're like, we have like, uh, what do they have, like, sticks that are fingers or whatever?

• 45:23Speaker 00

  Chicken fries.

• 45:23H. Foley?

  Chicken fries.

• 45:24Speaker 00

  Don't cast any, I mean,

• 45:26Speaker 03

  Are they good?

• 45:26Speaker 00

  Sticks that are fingers is, you see.

• 45:28H. Foley?

  See, that's his generation, they love it. Listen.

• 45:30Speaker 00

  I don't love it, when they, listen, when they hit, they were great. The breading on them was like something you would not, you'd get at a Shake Shack, not at a, they were like this limited time thing, and they were great, and then they pivoted to a full time and it just fell.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  McDonald's knows that you, you McRib it and then you go.

• 45:45Speaker 00

  Yeah. No, you're, a hundred percent.

• 45:47H. Foley?

  I want to say this, here's the sad thing about Burger King.

• 45:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:50H. Foley?

  The breakfast is the, is one of the best, their, their Bacon, egg and cheese on a croissant? The eggs are fluffy, the cheese is good, I'm telling you. The hash browns are awesome. I genuinely think, I'm a pretty incompetent person. If Burger King ever reached out to me, I could turn their business around. I could do it, I swear to God.

• 46:11Speaker 03

  I think it's, I think it's really hard because the consistency that McDonald's has achieved is, it's hard to pull that off.

• 46:21Speaker 00

  Dude, they're doing that thing where like, to become a supplier for them, you have to like, to become a ketchup supplier for them, or to like, whatever, you have to go through like 50 blind taste tests and pass. And like, each batch has to pass, if it's off a little bit, they go, you're not there yet, come back in three years.

• 46:40Speaker 03

  Well, you bring up a very important topic, which is ketchup.

• 46:43H. Foley?

  I love this, because this is the show.

• 46:46Speaker 03

  Let me tell you something.

• 46:49Speaker 03

  It's just Heinz, alright?

• 46:51Speaker 00

  I'm right there.

• 46:51Speaker 03

  It is just Heinz, it's like, it's, there are certain things that are a monopoly, that should be a monopoly. It's like, look, we don't have more than one army, we just have one army. Because it makes sense. Heinz is the ketchup. You know, you can mix it up with mustard, go ahead. Hunt's, my brother married a woman that eats Hunt's.

• 47:22H. Foley?

  Do you guys still talk to them?

• 47:23Speaker 03

  No, of course not. No, but like, it is, there's certain, it has to be Heinz ketchup. It's like, when you go out to dinner, and a restaurant's like, we make our own ketchup? I'm like, don't. Don't make your own ketchup.

• 47:37Speaker 00

  Well, why don't you make an employee run to the corner and get me some Heinz ketchup?

• 47:40Speaker 03

  Do you know what I'm saying?

• 47:41H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't even like, I, you know.

• 47:45H. Foley?

  We put cardamom in it, what the hell, you putting sweaters in it? Get out of here.

• 47:49Speaker 03

  I also think that, I think it's weird that ketchup... When you're at home, the ketchup's cold. It should be room temperature.

• 47:58H. Foley?

  It should be.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  Do you know what I mean? These are important issues.

• 48:01H. Foley?

  And you know who did that great? Was Wendy's. They had the pump.

• 48:04Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 48:04Speaker 00

  Out on the counter.

• 48:05Speaker 03

  Perfect.

• 48:06H. Foley?

  It was great. It was great. It made the fries so much better.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  Perfect.

• 48:09H. Foley?

  What, just, just out of curiosity, run the subject. You said mustard, who would be the, you'd give Goldens?

• 48:15Speaker 03

  Uh, no, I would, um...

• 48:17H. Foley?

  Or French's. French's yellow.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  I would probably go French's.

• 48:19H. Foley?

  Okay, alright.

• 48:20Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 48:20Speaker 03

  And then, um...

• 48:22H. Foley?

  Just to round it out, we might have asked you, mayonnaise?

• 48:24Speaker 03

  Mayonnaise, well, I'd go Hellmann's.

• 48:26H. Foley?

  Good man.

• 48:26Speaker 03

  I mean, you know, Miracle Whip, look, you know what? There's a lot of garbage watching right now. And if you like Miracle Whip, it just means you like sugar. Right? Cause that's just very sweet. I also, um, I love, but I love garlic and I love, you know, salt. I'm not a huge spice guy.

• 48:47Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  Meaning a spicy hot thing.

• 48:49Speaker 00

  Really? Irish guy Midwest? That didn't cross... What? Holy shit, gang.

• 48:54H. Foley?

  This Reese's peanut butter cup.

• 48:55Speaker 03

  This may surprise you, but I'm not a big vindaloo eater.

• 49:00H. Foley?

  This dentine is burning my mouth.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  Me and Tim Walz, don't eat spicy food.

• 49:05H. Foley?

  Can I, can I really quick, just, just let you in on something? I don't know if you guys have come across it at the Gaffigan household. Hellmann's, I love. Miracle Whip is trash. You know what's hot? You know what's really good?

• 49:15Speaker 03

  Okay, here, I know what you're gonna say. Dukes.

• 49:18H. Foley?

  Nah, nah, that's the same thing.

• 49:19Speaker 03

  Dukes is good.

• 49:20H. Foley?

  Dukes is alright.

• 49:21Speaker 03

  Dukes is good.

• 49:21H. Foley?

  Mike's. Mike's amazing. I am telling you, it is unbelievable.

• 49:26Speaker 03

  Really?

• 49:27Speaker 00

  Jason Alexander's pushing it.

• 49:28H. Foley?

  Ah, dude, it's so good.

• 49:30Speaker 03

  Really?

• 49:31H. Foley?

  Mike's amazing mayo. Give it a shot.

• 49:33Speaker 03

  By the way, I...

• 49:34H. Foley?

  If you don't like it, I'll take it off your hands.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  I would say, um...

• 49:37Speaker 00

  You know what, get me some.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  Dukes is, Dukes is quality.

• 49:39H. Foley?

  It's great.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  Dukes is quality.

• 49:40H. Foley?

  Yeah, Dukes is great. Mike's, Mike's is up there with it.

• 49:43Speaker 03

  Here's the thing about the southeast. They, you know... A biscuit, alright? I feel like the biscuit is really underappreciated.

• 49:53H. Foley?

  For sure.

• 49:53Speaker 03

  And I'm not talking the English cookie biscuit. I'm talking-

• 49:56H. Foley?

  Wait, you're talking about English muffins? You don't like English muffin?

• 49:58Speaker 03

  I, no, no, I'm still like when-

• 50:00H. Foley?

  Oh, well, come on, that's a cookie!

• 50:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:03H. Foley?

  It's a cookie!

• 50:04Speaker 03

  But I'm talking about like, a biscuit that you would get with-

• 50:07H. Foley?

  Sausage and gravy.

• 50:09Speaker 00

  That, I remember the first time I had that.

• 50:11Speaker 03

  It's like, why is that not everywhere? Not only is there that-

• 50:14Speaker 00

  I'd be, I'd be in pretty bad shape if that was everywhere.

• 50:17Speaker 03

  Not only do they have the biscuit, cornbread. I mean-

• 50:21H. Foley?

  Home run.

• 50:22Speaker 03

  It's like, cornbread and the biscuit. I feel like, it, let's go down our breads. I think it's like-

• 50:29H. Foley?

  Let's do it, yes!

• 50:30Speaker 03

  Cornbread, biscuit, I think that beats the croissant. The croissant is too much of a mess.

• 50:36Speaker 00

  I hate the croissant, it stinks.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  It, you, you might as well just rub it on yourself.

• 50:41H. Foley?

  That's my bread.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's your thing.

• 50:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's why, it's too buttery, it doesn't hold up.

• 50:45H. Foley?

  But I res- I respect what you're both saying.

• 50:47Speaker 03

  I like an English muffin, but you're fancy. You like, you know, like the, the, the, the-

• 50:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's see, he loves the croissant from Boogaloo.

• 50:54Speaker 03

  I, I do love-

• 50:57Speaker 00

  Real fancy.

• 50:58H. Foley?

  Et bonjour madame?

• 50:59Speaker 03

  Do you-

• 50:59Speaker 00

  He's sweating right now, talking about it.

• 51:01Speaker 03

  So then they have, sometimes they have the chocolate croissant, which just has like, a chocolate turd in the croissant.

• 51:06H. Foley?

  It's great, what are you talking about?

• 51:08Speaker 00

  That I'll push back on a little-

• 51:09H. Foley?

  Luke, straighten this guy out, what are you, nuts?

• 51:10Speaker 03

  It's like-

• 51:11Speaker 00

  The croissants stink as a whole.

• 51:12H. Foley?

  You don't like the chocolate croissant? I thought you were an omi guy!

• 51:14Speaker 03

  I like, I, well, and then sometimes they'll just stick an almond on-

• 51:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's like, what are you doing?

• 51:19Speaker 03

  What's going on?

• 51:20Speaker 00

  Oh, this is an arts and crafts project, zip it! Get me a bagel, it's New York City!

• 51:24Speaker 03

  I'm trying to think, alright, let's go down, uh-

• 51:27H. Foley?

  Real quick, the English muffin? The only problem with that, I love English muffins, you can-

• 51:30Speaker 00

  Fine.

• 51:30H. Foley?

  You can only make them at the house. They're never good anywhere else.

• 51:33Speaker 03

  No!

• 51:33H. Foley?

  Never.

• 51:34Speaker 03

  It's like, by the way, that's another thing. When you go and you buy a bagel, and you say, "I want it toasted," and they warm it? You're like, "Do I gotta go back there?"

• 51:44Speaker 00

  You want me-

• 51:45H. Foley?

  Straighten this guy out.

• 51:46Speaker 00

  Hey buddy, you want me to come around the counter?

• 51:47Speaker 03

  I didn't ask for it to be warmed.

• 51:48Speaker 00

  Uh, to go back on your, your thing about the airport, the worst bagel you ever had? LaGuardia, I landed, I was rushing to get somewhere else, I go, "I, I, I gotta, I gotta get a car, I just gotta get it," I grabbed a bagel, and I went to the stand, I go, "Can I get a sesame bagel with cream cheese?" And he goes, "Yeah," and handed me, he handed me a little tub of cream cheese, and I went- And he goes, "Oh no, you grabbed the bagel yourself." I go, "Can you toast it?" He goes, "No." I go, "You're just selling a loose bagel and one dollop of cream cheese? I just paid you $9.99 for that?"

• 52:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:17Speaker 00

  Crazy.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  Oh, here, I gotta, this is an important bagel story. So last week-

• 52:21H. Foley?

  Only you could say that.

• 52:22Speaker 03

  I, um, I mean, there's, first of all, we should probably talk about our bagel. Uh, mine is, mine is an everything bagel.

• 52:30H. Foley?

  Scooped and toasted?

• 52:31Speaker 03

  I, I don't know if I'd go that, the scooped.

• 52:34H. Foley?

  You don't go scooped?

• 52:35Speaker 00

  He's not European.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  Here's the thing, here's the thing, the tragedy. Like, the great sins of a bagel are when you, some people say you're, you're not supposed to even toast it.

• 52:44Speaker 00

  I don't, I don't toast, the good ones, I don't toast.

• 52:47Speaker 03

  Okay, and I can appreciate that, but like, if it's gonna be toasted, it should be toasted. When you order a bagel, I can't even believe this. And this is like, uh, it's so sad because like, you don't realize till you're gone.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  I mean, this is America, right? I ordered a toasted, everything bagel with cream cheese.

• 53:13Speaker 03

  I got it, the guy spread the cream cheese like it was, I don't know, mustard?

• 53:21Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:22Speaker 03

  Like, it was indiscernible that there was cream cheese on it.

• 53:26Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  And I bit into it, and I was five steps away from the store, there's nothing I could do.

• 53:32Speaker 00

  I'm just the guy on the street.

• 53:34Speaker 03

  I couldn't go back and appropriately yell at him. I had to eat this dry ass, but, like, I think when you get cream cheese, there should be too much cream cheese.

• 53:45H. Foley?

  It's a la, that's a New York way, smear, nice smear.

• 53:47Speaker 03

  There should be, there should be, I mean, it's a sin. It's a sin to serve a dry ass bagel.

• 53:55Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:55Speaker 03

  Like, what's going on?

• 53:57H. Foley?

  But is that it? So, so you're an everything bagel with cream cheese?

• 53:59Speaker 03

  Everything bagel with cream cheese. When I, when I worked in, uh, uh, when I was in college, I worked in a, uh, like a little kitchenette thing and where we would steal all our food. And-

• 54:12H. Foley?

  My man.

• 54:12Speaker 03

  And what I would do- Uh, is I would do a toasted, I haven't done this in a long time. Toasted cinnamon raisin with cream cheese and bacon.

• 54:22H. Foley?

  It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable.

• 54:24Speaker 03

  It's unbelievable.

• 54:24H. Foley?

  It's unbelievable.

• 54:25Speaker 00

  My wife got onto the cream cheese and she was like, can you get, can you have them put bacon on it? And I was like, I feel weird asking that. I'd never seen, and I did it. I mean, it's salty and sweet.

• 54:35Speaker 03

  It's pretty glorious.

• 54:36Speaker 00

  It's great.

• 54:36Speaker 03

  Pretty glorious. And I normally.

• 54:37Speaker 00

  And it's not done enough.

• 54:38Speaker 03

  I normally don't, as I said before, I don't normally mix in the sweet. But when I take over this country, the first thing I'm gonna do.

• 54:46Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 54:47Speaker 03

  All the maple syrup.

• 54:49H. Foley?

  Gone?

• 54:49Speaker 03

  It's gone. We're gonna dump it in the Gulf of Mexico.

• 54:54H. Foley?

  What are you doing when it's, if you have pancakes?

• 54:57Speaker 03

  I put butter on it. There's.

• 54:59Speaker 00

  That's it?

• 55:00Speaker 03

  There's sweetness in the batter. Or a little powdered sugar.

• 55:04H. Foley?

  He's yelling at us.

• 55:05Speaker 03

  A little powdered sugar. A little powdered sugar, cuz I'm from the 1800s. No, that my dad.

• 55:11H. Foley?

  A little cornstarch.

• 55:12Speaker 03

  But some of it is like.

• 55:14H. Foley?

  I'll give you, I'll give you this. I got you. A hundred percent.

• 55:16Speaker 03

  Syrup is, and I love Vermont and I love Canadians and I appreciate the fact that like.

• 55:22Speaker 00

  I feel like after this episode, they're not gonna love you that much.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  The spit from the tree, I get it, all that, you know, and, but.

• 55:30Speaker 03

  If you're a parent. The syrup thing is a mess. It's a mess. It ends up on chairs. It ends up. It's not like tacos where it's, uh, that's alright, hey, there's some stuff everywhere. Syrup is like glue. I don't know. But I think it's also, it, it just has the consistency of. Uh, someone who has the flu.

• 55:53H. Foley?

  Sure. It's napalm, it's napalm without the gaseous.

• 55:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 55:56H. Foley?

  Basically.

• 55:57Speaker 00

  Uh, why, why we're on food? Uh, Pizza Hut or Domino's? Obviously you're not, but if you, you know, lean one way.

• 56:03Speaker 03

  Well, you know, let me also say this.

• 56:05H. Foley?

  Why we're on food, it's been an hour.

• 56:07Speaker 03

  Uh, let me, let me be real here.

• 56:09Speaker 00

  Let's get to politics.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  There's, there is.

• 56:13Speaker 03

  The pizza that you enjoy, and then there's the pizza.

• 56:18Speaker 00

  Functional.

• 56:19Speaker 03

  That's functional, right? And so, obviously, you would love to get, I mean, there's a Prince Street pizza, I don't know if you've had it.

• 56:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  Pretty damn good. I like Detroit pizza, I love Chicago deep dish.

• 56:31Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

• 56:31Speaker 03

  You know, it's, but like, Domino's serves a purpose.

• 56:35Speaker 00

  Uh-huh.

• 56:36Speaker 03

  And it's like, if you're eating McDonald's, you should feel no shame in eating Domino's.

• 56:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  Do you know what I mean? There's nothing wrong with it.

• 56:45Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:45Speaker 03

  I would say, I prefer the thin crust.

• 56:49Speaker 00

  Hmm, at Domino's.

• 56:50Speaker 03

  Because I'm fancy.

• 56:51H. Foley?

  The money's changed you, Mr. Gaffigan. Paying pizza.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  The thin crust is, then you can kind of use it as an appetizer.

• 57:00H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 57:01Speaker 03

  Right?

• 57:01H. Foley?

  I like it.

• 57:02Speaker 03

  Uh.

• 57:03H. Foley?

  It's almost, it's almost an Amuse boue.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  But I don't like, I don't like, uh, get, keep your sweetness.

• 57:09Speaker 00

  I hate that.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  Away from my pizza.

• 57:11H. Foley?

  You're not a hot honey guy on the pizza?

• 57:13Speaker 03

  No! Hot honey. No, that's, that's even worse than maple syrup.

• 57:19Speaker 00

  I knew that was gonna get him. You flip the table.

• 57:21H. Foley?

  Is Prince Street your pizza downtown?

• 57:23Speaker 03

  Um, you know, I, now I, you know.

• 57:26H. Foley?

  If the Gaffigans are getting pizza on a Friday night.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, we would, I would probably order from the Prince Street, and, and it would be like, fifty dollars.

• 57:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, a one pie in New York is like, it's like forty dollars.

• 57:37Speaker 03

  But there was, now I can't even.

• 57:39H. Foley?

  We gotta tell you though.

• 57:40Speaker 03

  I can't even remember.

• 57:40Speaker 00

  We got one for you.

• 57:41H. Foley?

  We got one for you.

• 57:42Speaker 03

  There's a good one. I mean, so, Spring Street.

• 57:45H. Foley?

  Spring Street.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:46H. Foley?

  Yes, yes. Greenpoint, Brooklyn, Chrissy's Pizza.

• 57:51Speaker 03

  I got, I'm not going to Brooklyn.

• 57:53Speaker 00

  When was the last time you were in Brooklyn?

• 57:54Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 57:55H. Foley?

  It's unbelievable.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  I love Brooklyn, but I'm just like.

• 57:58Speaker 00

  You just, when you live in Manhattan, you don't go.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  On my way here, I was literally on the phone with Kevin for like, four times, to go ten blocks.

• 58:06Speaker 00

  I know, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:06Speaker 03

  It's like, I, you know, but then again, that's where I'm lazy. Like, my wife's from Wisconsin, and we normally goes, we go back for Christmas, and sometimes the Packers will, you know, obviously, they keep adding games, but like, there would be maybe a, a really important game, and some people would be going up to Lambeau, to Green Bay to watch it, and I'm like, I'm not going.

• 58:29Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:29Speaker 03

  I'm not. I'm not, it's the traffic, but it's also, I don't care if, if Jesus is gonna appear there, I'm not going to Upper Wisconsin. In. January.

• 58:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, not happening.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  Like, it's like, I, call me a coward. I don't, why would I do that? My alcoholism hasn't reached that point yet.

• 58:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:51H. Foley?

  When's the last time you were in Queens?

• 58:53Speaker 03

  Queens?

• 58:54Speaker 00

  You fly out of Queens.

• 58:55H. Foley?

  You fly out of Queens.

• 58:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, I fly out of Queens.

• 58:56H. Foley?

  The Bronx?

• 58:57Speaker 03

  The Bronx, well, you know, I grew up there.

• 59:01Speaker 00

  I started it, Bob.

• 59:02Speaker 03

  I don't know. It's been, it's been a while. But no, I drive through the Bronx.

• 59:06Speaker 00

  What, uh, are you a Newark guy? Newark Airport at all? Cause you're, you can scoot across from downtown pretty easily.

• 59:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, Newark is probably the easiest. Um, also, uh, Newark is easier than LaGuardia.

• 59:20Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 59:20Speaker 03

  These upgrades have helped a lot.

• 59:22Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 59:23Speaker 03

  You know, Newark used to be one of the more depressing places.

• 59:27Speaker 00

  It was real bad.

• 59:28H. Foley?

  I think it still is.

• 59:29Speaker 00

  No.

• 59:29H. Foley?

  Newark stinks.

• 59:30Speaker 00

  It's not great.

• 59:31H. Foley?

  I'm a LaGuardia man.

• 59:31Speaker 00

  But you're traveling from Queens, you're, by the time you get to Newark, you're upset to begin with. I get that. But, uh...

• 59:38Speaker 03

  By the way, I mean, I don't even think, I mean, I was complaining about the traffic. You realize, we are ending, we're entering a season where we're not gonna be able to get anywhere. Like, so when you have to fly out for a gig.

• 59:52Speaker 00

  We're doing it tomorrow.

• 59:52Speaker 03

  You're gonna have to add an out. I mean, forget about the air traffic controllers and your plane might go down. Forget about that. I mean, there is a little bit of like, ooh, I hope it's not my, you know, my, you know, cause now the government...

• 1:00:07H. Foley?

  Wheels are falling off.

• 1:00:09Speaker 03

  That, there's literally, I mean, I obviously don't want that to happen, but like, people are so selfish and lazy. They're like, well, I guess, oh, a plane went down, alright, now we have to make it right for... I mean, these poor air traffic controllers, it's like, it's a pretty damn important job to not pay them.

• 1:00:29Speaker 00

  I'm right there with you.

• 1:00:29Speaker 03

  Supposedly, they were doing...

• 1:00:30Speaker 00

  At least get him some Domino's or something.

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:33H. Foley?

  Mr. Jim Gaffigan, I mean, the good news is, still 100% garbage.

• 1:00:41Speaker 00

  Trash.

• 1:00:41Speaker 03

  You know, it's trash.

• 1:00:43H. Foley?

  Um, I mean.

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  Now, you have to, everyone has to go, uh, watch the Bourbon Set.

• 1:00:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, go watch the Bourbon Set.

• 1:00:50H. Foley?

  Of course. Live from the Old Forester, the Bourbon Set.

• 1:00:53Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:00:54H. Foley?

  All about bourbon.

• 1:00:54Speaker 03

  All about bourbon. And, you know, you may be curious, why would I do that? Well, no one asked for it. And as you, you know, we're all comedians. It's all self-assignment.

• 1:01:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:06Speaker 03

  And I'm sure you guys struggle with finding a balance between the, the success of this and working on your stand-up.

• 1:01:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  And so, some of it is, I went to YouTube because it is such a niche thing.

• 1:01:20Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  I didn't even bother presenting it to Hulu, or Netflix, or Amazon, because it was like, I, the reality is, is like, hopefully it appeals to everyone, but the, it is me talking about bourbon.

• 1:01:33Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:33Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? So there's some people that are like, I, I don't drink, I haven't drank for 20 years. I'm not gonna, you know, tempt myself. And then there's some people that are like, you got any tequila jokes? No, it's just bourbon.

• 1:01:45Speaker 00

  I'm a tequila man, Mike.

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:47H. Foley?

  Here's the thing, and I say this with all sincerity, you know, I was lucky enough to host at Eastville when you could come in to do spots, and you're a comedian, come in to do spots. There's not really a topic that you can't make relatable, and you're a legendary comedian.

• 1:02:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:00H. Foley?

  You know that. I mean, do you remember when you, I can't remember what you were working or getting ready for, but you did about 20 minutes on horses.

• 1:02:07Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:07H. Foley?

  Do you remember that?

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:08H. Foley?

  And dude, it was, it's the best. Live from the Old Forester, the Bourbon Set, on YouTube, the legendary, the incomparable, the garbage.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  The garbage.

• 1:02:19H. Foley?

  Mr. Jim Gaffigan.

• 1:02:21Speaker 03

  Thanks so much, guys.

• 1:02:21H. Foley?

  We love you, buddy. Thank you so much for coming in.

• 1:02:24Speaker 03

  So fun.

• 1:02:24H. Foley?

  Live from the Old Forester, the Bourbon Set. Make sure you check it out on YouTube. Kippy, what do you got for him?

• 1:02:29Speaker 00

  Uh, Philly, we're gonna be at the Met in Philly, our biggest show to date.

• 1:02:32Speaker 03

  That's huge.

• 1:02:33Speaker 00

  That's huge.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  And by the way, that's a beautiful theater.

• 1:02:35Speaker 00

  Beautiful. Super excited. Uh, Philly, get your tickets. It's always, Philly, uh, homecoming shows are always fantastic. We'll see you there.

• 1:02:42H. Foley?

  Jim, we love you, sir. Thank you so much. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week.

• 1:02:45Speaker 03

  Thanks.

• 1:02:47Speaker 04

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• 1:03:09Speaker 04

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