Pod Insights Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast After Hours at the Bar! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley About this episode Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show!
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Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test.
Steal shampoo from hotels?
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Transcript 14,667 words · 4 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 H. Foley? Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, we are giving away free VIP packages to come back and meet me and Kippy after the show. Get a little merch, enjoy yourself, and hang out with me and Kippy.
0:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, we're gonna be backstage. You just have to purchase your tickets before December 1st. Click the link in the description to sign up, and we're gonna announce the winners. We'll see you there. Love ya. AreYouGarbage.com. Yeah.
0:21 H. Foley? Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?
0:46 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
0:46 H. Foley? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that they're going to be classy.
0:50 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:51 H. Foley? Or just a big old piece of trash.
0:52 Speaker 01 Trash, trash, trash.
0:53 H. Foley? I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toody's in the new addition. She just told me she just had a protein shake.
1:00 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:01 H. Foley? My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
1:06 Speaker 01 I don't get it.
1:06 H. Foley? He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He's an international businessman, father of the year, and when he walks through a Home Depot, they all kneel, because he's the king of the barbs, baby. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everyone.
1:18 Speaker 01 What up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Thanks for tuning in. Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify, and the boys are in the middle of the charge.
1:30 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:30 Speaker 01 That's where we belong. We're not showing off. We're not making headlines.
1:34 H. Foley? We're not making moves on anybody.
1:36 Speaker 01 But we're not falling.
1:36 H. Foley? We're there.
1:37 Speaker 01 We're not falling behind. We're at the party. We're having a good time. You look over, we're vibing. We're vibe guys. Uh...
1:42 H. Foley? Philly show.
1:44 Speaker 01 Philly show.
1:44 H. Foley? Big show.
1:45 Speaker 01 Big show in Philadelphia. Obviously, we've been plugging the balls off of that. We want that to be a fucking hum-a-dingy.
1:50 H. Foley? Yes, sir.
1:51 Speaker 01 Biggest show we've ever done. And then if you haven't seen the post, the amount of...
1:56 H. Foley? New merch drop?
1:57 Speaker 01 New merch? Holy shit, I forgot about it. The boys got a lot going on over here. Got the new merch drop.
2:01 H. Foley? Got the garbage. You got the, uh, trash, trash, trash.
2:05 Speaker 01 You're just making stuff up, don't you? You got the tootie. It's all just things in our world. You got the Bug Man? We do. Go check out the merch, obviously, on the website. And then we just announced a whole slew of new shows, daddy-o. We got Austin, Texas. We got Tampa, Florida. We got Chicago. We got Bloomington. We got Nashville. We got Pittsburgh. We got Cleveland. Get your tikkis. The boys are hanging.
2:26 H. Foley? Some club weekends in there.
2:28 Speaker 01 Boys are doing club weekends.
2:29 H. Foley? Looking forward to it.
2:30 Speaker 01 Hanging out, doing a long club weekend.
2:32 H. Foley? They'd be like, real comics get to go out on a Saturday during the day.
2:36 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
2:36 H. Foley? See the town. Have lunch.
2:39 Speaker 01 Just packed a lunch. Get it up, boy!
2:42 H. Foley? By the way, I didn't realize, I have a dented can.
2:44 Speaker 01 Ah dude, I saw, I don't, did you dent that, or no?
2:48 H. Foley? No, no, they didn't dent when I felt.
2:49 Speaker 01 You have such dented can vibes as a guy. If a guy was a dented can, it'd be you.
2:54 H. Foley? Dented can and crooked heaters. Remember that one I pulled out at the airport the other day?
2:59 Speaker 01 Dude, I look-
3:00 H. Foley? It was like right before the firing squad.
3:03 Speaker 01 Looked like a piece of lost luggage.
3:05 H. Foley? By the way, I just saw they executed a guy by firing squad. You still doing that?
3:09 Speaker 01 Can you, um-
3:10 H. Foley? Did he get a blindfold in the heater?
3:11 Speaker 01 Some places you can chew, that you at least, not, yeah. Like a Mad Libs.
3:16 H. Foley? But can I drink this, or is this gonna have botulism in it?
3:18 Speaker 01 What do you mean?
3:19 H. Foley? I don't know, they're bad.
3:21 Speaker 01 Botulism will kill whatever you got going on. Um-
3:25 H. Foley? Mmm. Taste of tetanus flavor.
3:29 Speaker 01 Araby's. Um-
3:30 H. Foley? I scared of Araby's.
3:31 Speaker 01 Some places, I think there's still, like, on the books that you can say, "I wanna go this way," but I don't think you really can.
3:37 Speaker 02 You can.
3:38 Speaker 01 Okay.
3:38 H. Foley? You can. You can decide.
3:40 Speaker 02 I think there's a shortlist of ways to go, and firing squad is one of them.
3:44 Speaker 01 What's the, where, is this state by state? Cause not every state is wack.
3:47 Speaker 02 This is in South Carolina.
3:48 Speaker 01 God, I think-
3:50 H. Foley? Probably muskets. Can I choose to get fucked to death?
3:56 Speaker 01 I wanna do Death by Huies.
4:00 Speaker 01 Uh-
4:01 H. Foley? I meant the other way, but alright.
4:02 Speaker 01 Um-
4:03 H. Foley? Nothing on that?
4:05 Speaker 01 I, uh-
4:06 H. Foley? And how'd you not get the tootie?
4:08 Speaker 01 A protein shake.
4:09 H. Foley? Cause you're a dad. You're an old man. You don't like rock and roll no more. What do you think I mean? She just had a protein shake.
4:17 Speaker 01 I don't know.
4:18 Speaker 02 I just gave it to you.
4:19 H. Foley? You get it? Yeah, look at Luke.
4:21 Speaker 01 It's a beech?
4:22 H. Foley? Yeah.
4:23 Speaker 01 Why is that a-
4:24 H. Foley? That's what they say semen is, it's protein.
4:25 Speaker 01 Listen, I don't know what kind of circles you're running in, but I'm running a clean ship over here. I run a clean shop, alright, that young-
4:31 H. Foley? The missionary man.
4:35 Speaker 01 Listen, I don't know, you're doing your snowballs on a weekend, I'm over here-
4:39 H. Foley? Do you have a crucifix above the bed now that you're a dad?
4:42 Speaker 01 Sure.
4:42 H. Foley? Little palm on the door?
4:43 Speaker 01 You do, you do get, uh, you do understand, uh...
4:48 H. Foley? Man, wait till he gets older and you're yelling at him and say, "Hey, get in there!"
4:51 Speaker 01 Wait.
4:52 H. Foley? Scrub them elbows!
4:53 Speaker 01 I had, I hit him whatever today. Where the hell you going? Rolling all over the place.
4:57 H. Foley? Can't you walk?
4:58 Speaker 01 I know, he knows. He knows.
4:59 H. Foley? He's rolling around?
5:00 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
5:01 H. Foley? Like barrel rolls?
5:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:03 H. Foley? I used to love that.
5:03 Speaker 01 You got a big head and you're fucking... Some of you go, "You should be rolling straight," but it's, he's like, he's got like a, he's got like a, you know, the tire pressure's bad or some-
5:11 H. Foley? Like a drift car. Like the sprint cars.
5:14 Speaker 01 He keeps going in circles, you know what I mean? His head stay, his head is the axis and he walks around that.
5:20 H. Foley? Man. Do you watch 60 Minutes every night now?
5:23 Speaker 01 Uh-
5:23 H. Foley? On Sundays?
5:24 Speaker 01 I don't, but I do have to be honest with you, I am finding a lot of, uh...
5:29 Speaker 01 Solace and comfort in knowing that, like... I'm a home, more of a homebody now, you know what I mean? It's nice to like-
5:38 H. Foley? As opposed to your extravagant nightlife that you were living before.
5:43 H. Foley? Oak room?
5:44 Speaker 01 I was just doing-
5:45 H. Foley? Popping bottles?
5:45 Speaker 01 No, we just did these jokes to you, you can't fucking flip it.
5:48 H. Foley? What'd you give these jokes to me?
5:49 Speaker 01 I can't believe I'm walking around New Orleans having an ice cream cone. You really, you really romanticize your ni- I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, uh... Yeah, I just, I find a lot of, uh, you know, I'm not worried about the running around in spots, the having beers with my jerk off buddies-
6:10 H. Foley? Chasing skirts around.
6:11 Speaker 01 Uh-
6:11 H. Foley? You gotta grow up.
6:12 Speaker 01 It's just a lot of, you know, you, you find the joy in just, uh, being with your family.
6:17 H. Foley? Hmm.
6:17 Speaker 01 You know what I mean?
6:18 H. Foley? That's key.
6:19 Speaker 01 Okay.
6:21 Speaker 01 Cut that. And we're big. You know what I'm talking about, right? Your family still answer your phone calls.
6:28 H. Foley? They're looking for tickets for that Philly show, yeah.
6:31 Speaker 01 Sure, I did. I've mentioned a little bit, but I do want to say we did, um, what was it, a couple, whatever, two weeks ago, we did Preston and Steve.
6:38 H. Foley? Yeah, great, good time.
6:40 Speaker 01 And that was a show I grew up in a pickup, I mean, like, from my twenties when I was working for my family, you know, driving a pickup truck, I was listening to that. And I mean, that was the first time I heard about Burt Kreischer. I was sitting at Bustleton in Street Road, and he had, I'm like, this guy, he was telling the machine stories. I called up my boy, I say, we gotta get friggin' tickets.
7:02 H. Foley? That's when he was doing those daytime shows, right?
7:04 Speaker 01 We did not get tickets. We just ended up getting fucked up at the Bridgeport Pub.
7:10 Speaker 01 But, uh, yeah.
7:11 H. Foley? Couple of pros to Preston and Steve.
7:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:13 H. Foley? Sharp, bang, bang, bang, back and forth.
7:14 Speaker 01 Uh huh. And it would, dude, my mom, my mom, I tell you, Denise called me. "I heard your show on the radio."
7:21 H. Foley? You're on the radio this morning.
7:23 Speaker 01 I know, I'm like, given, dude, those guys are awesome, I love that. And it's just so funny that they're like, of all of the stuff we've accomplished, my friends and family came at, Pat texted me, he goes, "What was it like being in the studio?" I go, "What the five, what are you talking about?" I think it was cool, but still, what?
7:40 H. Foley? The hell's this dump?
7:41 Speaker 01 My mom, I, she called me again yesterday, "I told you I heard the show." I go, "You're looking for money or something." What does that pay for a guy, what? Wet and Herbie, she wants 10%.
7:53 H. Foley? Let me find out she's slipping. I'll have her on the phone with you, "Hang me, and I've been married for 12 years."
8:01 H. Foley? Send you off to boarding school. I'll tell you that right now. I have a good idea for a Christmas present for you. I'm gonna get you a subscription to the newspaper.
8:09 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
8:09 H. Foley? So you can walk down to the end of the sidewalk and get it.
8:12 Speaker 01 Why would I have a subscription, I still gotta go get the fucking thing?
8:15 H. Foley? No, they throw it in the driveway.
8:16 Speaker 01 Oh, oh, in the bird.
8:17 H. Foley? I'm gonna specifically hire a paper boy to throw it in the wrong place. Goddamn in the bushes. So you gotta walk down in your robe.
8:24 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
8:24 H. Foley? I'll get you a robe too.
8:25 Speaker 01 I'm not a robe guy, I don't look good in a robe, I'm too wide. It don't look good, it doesn't cinch well.
8:30 H. Foley? Negligee.
8:31 Speaker 01 I'm not, I'm nighty, something.
8:33 H. Foley? Which, by the way, can I tell you this?
8:35 Speaker 01 I don't know where this is going.
8:36 H. Foley? I was over at, uh, Five Below the other day, okay?
8:42 Speaker 02 A lot of good lingerie there.
8:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:44 H. Foley? I swear to god.
8:45 Speaker 01 It's also like you're making fun of my rock star lifestyle. I was over if I- what the hell is a guy like you doing?
8:51 H. Foley? I'm getting my vitamins.
8:52 Speaker 01 Getting, doing it five below.
8:55 H. Foley? I was getting vitamins.
8:56 Speaker 01 That's where they take kids once they see, that's how you start potty training kids. Hey, if you go in a potty, I'll take you to five below. So I can start doing to you.
9:03 H. Foley? I was with some people.
9:04 Speaker 01 Stop peeing on the floor.
9:05 H. Foley? But they had these, uh, Christmas, um, like pajamas for broads. And they're like skimpy short shorts and like a little top.
9:16 Speaker 01 You like that too, don't you?
9:18 H. Foley? Yeah.
9:19 Speaker 01 So I bought three pair.
9:20 H. Foley? And no 5X. Squeeze my little ass in there. Anywho. Gang, this is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies, just the way we like it, especially around the holiday season.
9:34 Speaker 01 That was a quick downshift you just did. Throwing a brake retard. Fucking double clutch drop that thing.
9:42 H. Foley? Pull the e-brake? I always wanted to pull the e-brake. I always wanted my brakes not to work so I could pull the e-brake.
9:48 Speaker 01 I've had to do that.
9:49 H. Foley? Yeah?
9:49 Speaker 01 And remember when the, remember?
9:50 H. Foley? Somebody cut your brakes? It pissed a lot of people off, don't it?
9:53 Speaker 01 I thought it was my stepdad for a long time. Remember my brakes went in a Montego? We went on a road trip. Remember that?
9:59 H. Foley? That was wear and tear.
10:01 Speaker 01 I don't know. He inspect, it sat for a long time. And then...
10:05 H. Foley? These, they sound like the fucking Titanic hitting the iceberg.
10:07 Speaker 01 I mean, we've talked about it, but that was, my, my Montego was the big, I mean, I, I've had dirtbag car after dirtbag car. The Lumina, I had two Luminas. I wrapped one around a telephone pole and then replaced it with the same exact car. My brother also, so at one point we owned three 1995 Chevy Luminas. Two white ones and a silver one. Or a powder blue or something like that.
10:26 H. Foley? I might take that one off your hands.
10:28 Speaker 01 What one?
10:28 H. Foley? The one you got.
10:29 Speaker 01 No, you're not.
10:30 H. Foley? I might.
10:30 Speaker 01 I love that thing.
10:31 H. Foley? I'll steal it.
10:32 Speaker 01 Neighbors hate it.
10:33 H. Foley? Hotwire it.
10:34 Speaker 01 Go for it.
10:34 H. Foley? That'd be fun. I should, we should steal your car.
10:38 H. Foley? Tell me that wouldn't be a good prank.
10:39 Speaker 01 A hundred percent.
10:40 H. Foley? Right?
10:42 H. Foley? What are you gonna do?
10:43 Speaker 01 Huh?
10:44 H. Foley? A half asleep in your rocking chair.
10:46 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
10:46 H. Foley? Old man Ryan in there. I'm at that with a couple of fucking Kia boys. Like, "Mmm, mmm, mmm, I'm still out there living, dog."
10:55 Speaker 02 Smoking K2?
10:56 H. Foley? Yeah.
10:57 Speaker 01 Still out there living, you're hanging out at the Five Below.
11:00 H. Foley? I wasn't hanging out there. I was shopping.
11:02 Speaker 01 I was asking for a job application. They need seasonal work.
11:07 H. Foley? Oh, dude.
11:08 Speaker 01 Seasonal work. Seasonal work. That's, let's, dude, Flip, shout out Flip. Flip would do seasonal work for UPS and we might as well thought he was the goddamn CEO. He would show up, "I'm making fourteen dollars." Dude, that was when we were all making eight, whatever, nine. He was making like double digit and he was the runner. He would run from the truck to the house, truck to the house, and he would come and complain about it.
11:36 H. Foley? Truck to the house, truck to the house.
11:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, so the driver wouldn't have to park, get out, find it. He was like, he would go in the back, find it, pull up to like one, two, three fucking Acorn Avenue.
11:47 H. Foley? Cotton used to work in the warehouse.
11:48 Speaker 01 Warehouse work is not bad.
11:51 H. Foley? He had his belt. Did you ever wear a belt?
11:53 Speaker 01 The, wait, the, like the lifting belt?
11:55 H. Foley? Yeah.
11:56 Speaker 01 Nah.
11:56 H. Foley? No? Did you ever wear a belt to the gym?
12:00 H. Foley? No? Or use the straps? I know Luke does.
12:03 Speaker 02 I did.
12:04 Speaker 01 You wore what?
12:05 Speaker 02 In high school.
12:06 Speaker 01 Was it to hold up your thong underwear? What are you talking about?
12:08 Speaker 02 I got really into powerlifting.
12:10 H. Foley? Too shake weight.
12:11 Speaker 01 Powerlifting. He's got too shake weight. He's double bickering it.
12:16 H. Foley? Doing the Thai master at the same time? What are you talking about?
12:20 Speaker 02 I was taking a lot of creatine at the time.
12:21 H. Foley? A lot of creatine?
12:23 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, I was actually, that was the only time I got up to 180 in my entire life was junior year of high school. For like six months.
12:30 H. Foley? You're like the Flash.
12:31 Speaker 01 Junior year of high school, you were 180.
12:32 Speaker 02 Then I got into weed.
12:33 Speaker 01 Fourth grade fully was 180.
12:35 H. Foley? Uh, naturally, high school, I was 180. Yeah, senior year of high school, uh, in wrestling, I was 180. 171, actually. I had to make 171, didn't they? Didn't they have me wrestle 189?
12:46 Speaker 01 Hey, behind the glory years, no one has.
12:50 Speaker 01 And actually, Scott McFadden broke his ankle and we had to...
12:55 H. Foley? What was that kid's name sophomore year that broke his shoulder? And I had to start wrestling varsity. I got fucked up after the match. What do you got for me?
13:04 Speaker 01 Nothing. Continue down your long line.
13:07 H. Foley? Hey, we're in Q4 here. What do you got?
13:09 Speaker 01 What?
13:09 H. Foley? Q4.
13:10 Speaker 01 Did you just learn that or something? You've been dropping the Q, quarters.
13:14 Speaker 02 I think I said it too.
13:16 H. Foley? I know it's Christmas bonus time. I knew it did. He was just talking a couple of numbers a couple of days ago about you gentlemen.
13:25 Speaker 01 He was trying to lowball everybody.
13:30 H. Foley? He's got it. I just got you that race car. Bought Luke a little toy. That's five below.
13:36 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
13:37 H. Foley? Nineteen dollars.
13:38 Speaker 01 I would not blame... I would see five below doing that. Where like then they start going, oh, this is... Do they do that now? Is still everything's five below?
13:49 Speaker 02 No.
13:50 Speaker 01 No?
13:51 H. Foley? No, none of them. Dollar slices ain't a dollar no more. This country is going to hell in a handbasket.
13:57 Speaker 01 I'm okay with no longer dollar slices. What times these days? I mean, dollar slices... The fact that they were making...
14:02 H. Foley? The 99 cent store is not a dollar anymore either. All these tariffs.
14:08 H. Foley? All these sheriffs.
14:11 Speaker 01 Uh, alright. Well, that's neither here nor that. What do you have on...
14:14 Speaker 02 Most items in the main section are five below, but now you can have five beyond. With sections up to 25 dollars.
14:21 Speaker 01 That's pretty good.
14:23 H. Foley? Don't cut the doodles. A splinter.
14:28 H. Foley? Luke Dempsey, everybody. Over there in the corner office.
14:31 Speaker 02 Hello, everyone.
14:31 H. Foley? Of the Dempsey Group.
14:33 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
14:33 Speaker 02 I would like a weight belt for Christmas.
14:37 H. Foley? Get you 40 pounds. We should bulk you up.
14:40 Speaker 02 I've been trying, man.
14:41 H. Foley? Let's get you on steroids.
14:42 Speaker 02 I thought that was gonna happen when I joined this team. I was gonna gain some weight.
14:45 H. Foley? Let's get you on steroids. I got a winstrel guy.
14:49 Speaker 02 I would like that. You'd be like my trainer.
14:52 H. Foley? Get you jacked up. You need ice cream. That's what Christian Bale did for Batman. He had a lot of ice cream.
14:57 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
14:57 H. Foley? That's what they said and he was pumping iron.
14:59 Speaker 02 Yeah. Had a pint last night.
15:02 H. Foley? You did.
15:02 Speaker 02 I did.
15:03 H. Foley? What'd you have?
15:04 Speaker 02 I had that new Ben and Jerry's, like, they've been doing a little bit of whip something on the top, and then New York cheesecake chocolate. It was great.
15:10 H. Foley? He's such a bitch. It's crazy.
15:12 Speaker 01 Why, why, why? You just don't like him.
15:14 H. Foley? I love him. You don't like me.
15:16 Speaker 01 Nah, you know, you just leaned to me and said, "He's such a bitch."
15:18 H. Foley? I think I heard, I said it on a microphone.
15:21 Speaker 01 I know, he whispered it like he wasn't gonna hear. Like, he's gonna edit this, too. He's gonna listen, he's gonna listen to you call him a bitch like five times.
15:28 H. Foley? It's all foo-foo shit with him.
15:30 Speaker 02 It is.
15:30 H. Foley? He's never up the middle. Briers and some fucking Hershey syrup is what you need. I'm gonna do grocery shopping for you. Get you straightened out.
15:39 Speaker 02 We've evolved. We've evolved as a species.
15:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, what do you, uh, listen. You act like you're not doing, eh, just stop with this. You really,
15:47 H. Foley? The finer things?
15:48 Speaker 01 You really claim you're one guy when you're not that guy.
15:51 H. Foley? I like a cold foam, sure.
15:52 Speaker 01 You're not that guy, pal.
15:54 H. Foley? I like a cold foam.
15:55 Speaker 01 You're not that guy, okay?
15:57 H. Foley? I am not that guy.
15:57 Speaker 01 You really judge everybody. You live in a glass house. That you're behind on rent.
16:05 H. Foley? There's a guy that lives in my building that's so scary. He would fuck me up.
16:09 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
16:09 H. Foley? He's not nice.
16:11 Speaker 01 Maybe you're not nice.
16:12 H. Foley? His wife's a dime piece.
16:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think. You're trying to hide from the debt collector in your glass house. I can see ya. Hey, you're in there.
16:20 H. Foley? That's a hologram, dickhead. I'm doing very well.
16:24 Speaker 01 I see you reading the shut-off notice.
16:27 H. Foley? Hey, hit me up again. Can't much talk about hollow socks.
16:30 Speaker 01 Hollow socks.
16:32 H. Foley? You know what stinks?
16:33 Speaker 01 What's that?
16:33 H. Foley? When you got regular socks on, your feet are freezing in the wintertime, or in the summertime, you got regular socks on, and your feet are all sweaty. What you need is hollow socks.
16:43 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
16:43 H. Foley? To get yourself straightened out. That's the way I'm going. We're talking about premium alpaca boot socks.
16:47 Speaker 01 Woo!
16:48 H. Foley? Built for cold mornings, long days on your feet, and everything in between.
16:51 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm. Got ultra-soft baby alpaca fiber.
16:54 H. Foley? Mm-hmm. That's a good stuff.
16:56 Speaker 01 That's a, I mean-
16:57 H. Foley? Alpaca. You blot that shit.
17:00 Speaker 01 We got thermo-regulating, warm below freezing, comfortable when it warms up, three times warmer than wool without the bulkiness. It's got moisture managing. Uh, your feet stay dry, and instead of sweating, stewing in sweat, durable, no itch, built for daily wear and real boots, not just death socks, baby. We're talking running and gunning. You put these boots, you put these socks on, you can do whatever the heck you want.
17:24 H. Foley? You know they sent them?
17:25 Speaker 01 What's that?
17:26 H. Foley? They sent two pair.
17:27 Speaker 01 Sure, you kept both of them?
17:28 H. Foley? I gave one to my brother.
17:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:29 H. Foley? Got a random text out of nowhere, "These are the best socks I've ever had."
17:32 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
17:32 H. Foley? Swear to God.
17:33 Speaker 01 Uh, for a limited time, Hollow Socks is having a buy two, get two free sale. Head to hollowsocks.com today to check it out. That's hollow socks for up to 50% off your order after your purchase. They're gonna ask you how you heard about them. Tell them the boys sent you, support the show. Are you garbage? Do it.
17:48 H. Foley? Yeah, we gotta talk about Rocket Money.
17:50 Speaker 01 Shout out to Rocket Money!
17:52 H. Foley? You got a lot of subscriptions that you don't know about, gang. Do yourself a favor, go over Rocket Money and get rid of them, especially around the holiday season. You're gonna have a little extra scratch, right? You don't wanna be, uh, sending money to who knows who.
18:02 Speaker 01 Take some stuff off the books.
18:03 H. Foley? Take some stuff off the books in Q4 before the end of the year. That's how we do it around here, right, Kippy?
18:08 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscription, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Uh, listen, I didn't use it until they were, until they were a, uh, a sponsor. I got on, it's one of my favorite things. You get your, you get your weekly email, "Hey, this is what you spent, this much below, this much above, what you've done last week, you have these upcoming charges pending." It gets every, it gets all your ducks in a row for you.
18:36 H. Foley? Sure.
18:37 Speaker 01 There's no surprises, that's the worst thing, especially when you're, you got a tight rope, you're, you got a tight budget, you're figuring stuff out, you need, every day matters, and then you get hit with some charge you weren't expecting? Jam up the whole weekend and/or holiday season. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including $880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. I was signed up for some, uh, some European fighting thing that, that I didn't know was banging me out every month. Bada bing bada boom, they figure it out, take them off the books. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com/garbage today, that's rocketmoney.com/garbage. Rocketmoney.com/garbage, do it.
19:20 H. Foley? Yeah.
19:20 Speaker 01 Let's get into it here.
19:22 H. Foley? Please.
19:23 Speaker 01 Speaking of jammed up, this is King Without a Castle, $10 homie and jammed up winner. Is it garbage to heat up a brick and use it as your car's defroster? A buddy of mine microwaves a brick and puts a rag on it on the dashboard and drove to work. What a legend.
19:38 H. Foley? Whoa, very, very artisanal. That's like the pizza stone.
19:43 Speaker 01 I know, it's stone fired.
19:45 H. Foley? Yeah.
19:46 Speaker 01 That, I mean, because that holds, right?
19:48 H. Foley? That holds. You cook a burger on that when you get to work.
19:51 Speaker 01 Can you microwave a brick though? Doesn't it need moisture or something?
19:54 H. Foley? Nah, there's moisture in it and there's no metal in it. All of this is water and sand and some kind of red dye.
20:00 Speaker 01 Hey, Flintstone, zip it.
20:02 H. Foley? What is a brick anyway?
20:03 Speaker 01 You just told me. What do you mean?
20:05 H. Foley? What's a brick made of?
20:06 Speaker 01 That's the king of you. Oh, Brooks, you assist.
20:08 H. Foley? What's the difference between brick and concrete?
20:09 Speaker 01 I don't know.
20:11 H. Foley? You're Mr. Construction. So you were driving around in your pickup truck.
20:15 Speaker 01 I don't know. I don't know why we're so adversarial.
20:21 H. Foley? That pissed me off the second you said it.
20:25 H. Foley? Oh yeah, you drove a pickup truck. You were in the back freezing your ass off with some stray dog.
20:31 Speaker 01 You could tell by the way you said drive. That really...
20:36 H. Foley? Probably a Toyota.
20:39 Speaker 01 It was a Dodge 25 Honda, jacked up. We bought it used and never put new tires on it.
20:46 H. Foley? Their radios are always weird in those Dodges.
20:49 Speaker 01 The dial. I love that. Dude, you could really fine tune the... Ah, it was great. And I'd be sitting in there listening to Preston. I remember Nick DiPaolo was saying something so funny that I had to pull over the road and pull over to the side of the road in Marlton, New Jersey. They asked, they asked him what, it was, this was in the lean years of stand-up comedy before like, you know, it was like...
21:10 H. Foley? Late 90s.
21:11 Speaker 01 No, like mid 2000s.
21:13 H. Foley? Okay.
21:16 H. Foley? Yeah, I remember.
21:19 H. Foley? Exactly.
21:20 Speaker 01 They asked him, "What a tough gig." Like, you know, like, "What's the big gig to get now?" And, you know, "Used to be the Tonight Show or whatever. What's the big gig now?" He goes, "I don't know. Healthcare?" Killed me. Killed me. Killed me. "I don't know. Healthcare?" Um...
21:36 H. Foley? You ever drop anything on the road? Drop materials on the road?
21:40 Speaker 01 Uh, no. We, our famous last words were, "We put the ratchet strap on, shake, and go. That ain't going nowhere." And...
21:45 H. Foley? The ratchet trap?
21:46 Speaker 01 The ratchet strap.
21:47 H. Foley? Oh, I hate those things.
21:49 Speaker 01 Um, which I found out they found like a, I could never really, I never really knew how they worked, but there's like a new, like, is... It was like a mechanical one. It's like all together and you kind of just zip, zip, where like, I had to like, string it and loop it and, "Hey, fucking hands are freezing."
22:03 H. Foley? Every, oh, every year, we had to do, we have to do that with the, uh, the furniture in the back on the deck. We close down the, Patty closes down the pool. She fucking puts a tarp over all the lawn furniture and sticks it to the side. Like a resort waiting for a hurricane. And I gotta fucking strap it to like-
22:18 Speaker 01 You have a garage? You don't put it in a garage?
22:20 H. Foley? Hey, get the car in there. She got the pool filter. Plus, my brother, my cousin Paul, and my cousin Tracy, they all got shit in the garage.
22:28 Speaker 01 You start charging these motherfuckers rent.
22:31 H. Foley? Couches, paintings, all kinds of stuff. All kinds of stuff in there. You know who's gotta fucking organize that every time he goes home? I'm getting yelled at. I gotta put the filter over here, this over there. Told her she turn that into a fucking, fucking gym. I get in there, start working out.
22:45 Speaker 01 You and Luke bulk up.
22:47 H. Foley? Telling you.
22:49 Speaker 01 Well, if that's what's stopping you from working out, ninety-eight miles away. I told you, if my mom let me turn the gy- turn the garage into a gym, I'd be jacked right now.
22:56 H. Foley? What's a brick made of?
22:58 Speaker 02 A brick is made of clay. Uh, fired clay. Concrete block is a mixture of cement, sand, and gravel.
23:05 Speaker 01 It's all the same shit.
23:06 H. Foley? Yeah.
23:06 Speaker 02 You should not microwave a brick.
23:08 Speaker 01 Why?
23:09 Speaker 02 Because it absorbs moisture and will crack or explode.
23:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, that can't, dude, the microwave. I remember the first time I put, I forgot the, I was trying to make chocolate milk with Ovaltine-
23:17 H. Foley? These are volatile.
23:18 Speaker 01 And I put a glass in without water.
23:21 H. Foley? Why?
23:22 Speaker 01 I forgot. I don't know. Like, I just put the powder in and forgot to put the milk in it.
23:25 H. Foley? Did you brod?
23:26 Speaker 01 Man, it shattered. I was so scared my dad was gonna scream at me. I didn't know what to do.
23:31 H. Foley? Those early microwaves were fucking a menace. I remember the first one we had, it was the size of like that TV. It was huge. The thing was hanging off our, uh, off our kitchen counter, like, like, three inches. Man, that thing, fuck you up.
23:47 Speaker 01 Cook a turkey in there.
23:48 H. Foley? Dudes, cook your hair.
23:51 Speaker 01 Uh, alright, let's see here. Um, what?
23:57 H. Foley? Cook your hair.
24:00 H. Foley? Sweep that under the rug.
24:02 Speaker 01 Uh, this was from Brian. Um, trashy spelling. B-
24:07 H. Foley? B-R-Y-A-N?
24:08 Speaker 01 B-R-Y-O-N. What the heck is it?
24:12 H. Foley? What are you, a lord from Scotland?
24:14 Speaker 01 I thought it was Byron, but it's Brian.
24:17 H. Foley? Yeah, that's bad.
24:18 Speaker 01 First time in new Patreon, is it garbage to pretend like you're just looking at the merchandise before committing to a long line at a concert? Then you strike up a conversation with the guy next to you in line.
24:32 Speaker 01 And what shirt they like. Hey, what are you looking at? What one do you like? Then before they step to the counter, ask them if I Venmo or Cash App you the money, will you buy my shirt so I don't have to wait in this long line, but to keep it classy, I always throw in a couple extra bucks to grab a beverage of their choice? Those lines can jam me up for like an hour.
24:51 H. Foley? Ooh, that's got scam written all over it. I would never trust that. Would you let somebody you didn't know Venmo ya? I'll Venmo ya.
24:59 Speaker 01 I mean, what do you think Venmo, what do you think they're gonna do when they Venmo ya?
25:02 H. Foley? I don't know. They Venmo you a dollar and then all of a sudden they're taking thousands of dollars out of your account.
25:08 Speaker 01 You do not have.
25:09 H. Foley? Hundreds.
25:10 Speaker 01 Ten bucks.
25:11 H. Foley? Hundreds. About 115 a check in.
25:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, I mean, like, I, you, you're under like-
25:17 H. Foley? Plus then they know you're Venmo.
25:18 Speaker 01 But, what does that mean?
25:20 H. Foley? I don't know.
25:21 Speaker 01 Venmo's not gonna let, like, Venmo is the safeguard. Not that it say they're not, there's not flaws or whatever, they can't be hacked, but like-
25:27 H. Foley? Trust me, they're very sticklers about shit.
25:29 Speaker 01 If someone has your Venmo, they can't just like, it's not like they have your bank account information.
25:34 H. Foley? I know.
25:35 Speaker 01 I kinda like the move. I don't, this is a victimless, a victimless move to me here.
25:41 H. Foley? I don't, I can't see you warming up to that.
25:46 Speaker 01 I'm not saying I would do it, I'm just saying I don't, if that happened in front of me, I'd go, "It's one transaction, I'm here, what's, there's no..."
25:55 H. Foley? I guess I could see it like a Dead show or The Fish where it's like that community vibe. Like, "Hey man, get my shirt and I'll buy you an IPA, man." Like that, but that shit ain't flying at a fucking Oasis concert. Fuck outta here, mate.
26:08 Speaker 01 Sure.
26:09 H. Foley? Buy your own t-shirt.
26:10 Speaker 01 Uh, yeah, I don't know.
26:12 H. Foley? That's like someone walking up to you at an ATM saying, "Hey, can you break this 20?" Didn't that happen to you?
26:15 Speaker 01 Yeah. I was in the Czech Republic, that was a little friggin' different. "Hey, buddy, English, no."
26:25 H. Foley? Pickpocket!
26:26 Speaker 01 Scammer, scammer, scammer. Um, yeah, I mean, listen, that's a, that's fine to me. If both parties are consenting adults, I'm totally okay with it.
26:35 H. Foley? Sure, definitely trash, and I respect the move.
26:37 Speaker 01 I mean, it's a dirtbag move, but, you know, if they say no, they say no, if they say yeah, they say yeah.
26:41 H. Foley? Beveraging, "I'll buy you a beer."
26:42 Speaker 01 No, but he says, "I'll send you the money."
26:44 H. Foley? Uh huh.
26:44 Speaker 01 That's like, that's completely fine to me.
26:47 H. Foley? I could see, hey, I wonder if he goes to wait in line to get the, I'll go grab us a couple of beers, how about that?
26:51 Speaker 01 That's not bad.
26:52 H. Foley? That's not bad.
26:52 Speaker 01 And one thing I do like about the new, uh, I mean, it's probably cutting down on jobs and it's like, but you can just go buy, at a lot of places now, a lot of like, uh, venues and they're like, you know, stadiums and stuff like that, you can just walk up, grab your beers and like, walk, like self-pay walk out. Which for like, if you're just grabbing two beers, there's no need to wait in line. And we were at the last Birds game.
27:15 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
27:16 Speaker 01 I was just going to like a self-checkout, grabbing two beers from the fridge. And there was like a guy standing there just like overseeing it all.
27:23 H. Foley? Making sure you don't walk out with them.
27:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, but that's, I mean, like, that's what it should be.
27:27 H. Foley? Huh.
27:28 Speaker 01 Right? Instead of waiting in line for fucking 90 minutes.
27:31 H. Foley? I thought they were gonna chip us all so we could just walk out of the store.
27:33 Speaker 01 I don't mind that either, chip me up.
27:36 H. Foley? Take a chip?
27:36 Speaker 02 Yeah. Our college bar started like the last year selling like just pounders for like, just cash, at like the front, away from the bar, so when the bar was too packed, you could just go get pounders.
27:47 Speaker 01 That's what, that's what...
27:48 H. Foley? And stay in the bar?
27:49 Speaker 02 Yeah.
27:50 H. Foley? Wow.
27:50 Speaker 01 That's the move down at Keenan's too, like big, big places like that. You go to like the Beer Tub Girl, you know what I mean? Ah, my bum boy. I mean, he fell in love with the beer tub, but like, fell in love. And then I think she ended up dating someone else or something. It was like, it was a, it was a, it was a web. But he was like, "Yeah, she's hitting me up." And we were like, "Dude." She is a, dude, we're talking a North Wild Keenan's beer tub girl. As hot and trashy as you could get. You know what I mean? I'm talking somewhere from like Abington or something. Nice, but trashy.
28:30 H. Foley? Two words, kid at home.
28:32 Speaker 01 No, we were young. We were still in like college.
28:34 H. Foley? Kid at home.
28:35 Speaker 01 Kid at college.
28:39 Speaker 01 Yeah, I remember just, you know, he was over tipping her, hanging out there. Yeah, I'll go, he was, I'll go get the beers.
28:46 H. Foley? I love that falling in love in the moment though. Like getting like enthralled by like a bartender or something like that.
28:52 Speaker 01 Sure.
28:53 H. Foley? Fades very quickly.
28:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, it just, listen, I've, I've been in a lot of
28:58 Speaker 01 right, you know, regular bars. With a lot of people, close to me, not close to me, and like, you know, you know, working construction or whatever, you know, Friday, you go for happy hour. And just to see every dude operate the same with like, the quasi-hot bartender, who's like a bitch to be a bitch, you know what I mean? Over tipping, "Oh, you're, oh, you're bad," as they like walk away.
29:24 H. Foley? That girl hates your fucking guts.
29:27 Speaker 01 I mean.
29:27 H. Foley? And I respect, not you personally.
29:29 Speaker 01 I mean, maybe.
29:30 H. Foley? Do you remember that, um?
29:31 Speaker 01 I remember my dad doing that.
29:33 H. Foley? And your dad's got a little swag though.
29:36 Speaker 01 From what I remember, yeah.
29:37 H. Foley? You know what I'm saying?
29:38 Speaker 01 Sure. You've met him once.
29:41 H. Foley? Sharp guy, I don't think.
29:42 Speaker 01 I remember you being like.
29:44 H. Foley? I knew he was a good-looking older dude. Only needed to see that once. Had the stash in the hair and the jeans. He's probably closing deals. As long as your fat little ass wasn't jamming up the works.
29:56 H. Foley? Taking you out as a wingman.
29:58 Speaker 01 Yikes. Couple quarters.
30:01 H. Foley? Fucking hamburger on your face. You got mayonnaise in your hair, get away from me. Say your son.
30:07 Speaker 01 No.
30:08 H. Foley? Um. Did you ever do that, uh... Those...
30:13 Speaker 01 You're an idiot.
30:16 H. Foley? Somebody that can support that?
30:18 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
30:18 H. Foley? Did you ever do those shows that we did for a minute? Excuse me. Out in...
30:24 Speaker 01 I forgot when Foley was the comedy kingpin, setting up these great gigs for everybody.
30:28 H. Foley? It was out in Ridley at that sports bar. I wanna say the guy that ran...
30:32 Speaker 01 Was it right next to the fridge? The stage was right next to the fridge?
30:35 H. Foley? Maybe.
30:36 Speaker 01 I didn't want...
30:36 H. Foley? The bartenders wore Foot Locker shirts. They were refs, you know, for us.
30:41 Speaker 01 I don't think so.
30:42 H. Foley? Hot chick in one of those? It was that guy that, the guy that taught classes at Helium. The guy that taught comedy classes at Helium.
30:50 Speaker 01 Trackman.
30:51 H. Foley? Yes! Brad Trackman put them together, I think, or maybe he was just the headliner on one of the shows. And he was out there that time. You don't remember that bar?
30:59 Speaker 01 Was it like a shotgun, like, there was no showroom, it was just in the bar?
31:03 H. Foley? Yeah, you're right at the bar. There was like two bars next to each other, like two like round bars.
31:07 Speaker 01 Nah, this wasn't, I don't remember that then.
31:08 H. Foley? Huh. Before your time, maybe. Well, that was one of those bars where it was like, they were like strippers. They were so hot. And so smoky and mysterious and so Ridley and Delco.
31:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
31:22 H. Foley? And they had a bunch of fucking mouth breathers just hanging in there.
31:26 Speaker 01 Uh-huh. Well, it's like tough when you see... I remember somebody, I said to my stepdad, I think it was my stepdad or my dad. I hang out a lot of bars with these guys. But, I, every, we were there and I go, "Every time I'm there, this fucking guy's sitting here." Like, it's the same guy across the bar.
31:43 H. Foley? Your dad said this?
31:43 Speaker 01 No, I said this to my dad, I believe it was my dad or my step, I forget, one of them.
31:47 H. Foley? I got you.
31:47 Speaker 01 One of the positive male, uh, smoking and drinking role models in my life.
31:53 H. Foley? Just like that guy's thinking, "Every time I come in here, I've got fat kids here."
31:55 Speaker 01 That's what they say, that's when my stepdad goes, "He's saying the same fucking thing." "Every time I'm here, I see this, well, these fucking, these momos." And, uh, that's when it hit me of like, "Oh, I'm the, I'm not better than any of these peep." Not that I thought I was better, but like, you think you're different.
32:10 H. Foley? Well, you're a little better, you were 12.
32:12 Speaker 01 No, but even, no, I mean...
32:13 H. Foley? Whole life, idiot.
32:15 Speaker 01 Doubtful.
32:20 H. Foley? Guy's 87. He's leaving tips and quarters. There you go. Fucking drinking it through that thing in his throat.
32:28 Speaker 01 I told you, we were at the pub.
32:29 H. Foley? Biggest fear.
32:30 Speaker 01 Me and Pat for happy hour and there was this guy, he like worked there and he had a real bad haircut. He goes, "I see you got your Dallas..." He said, I told you, he said to the guy across the bar, this fucking drunk and nobody, he didn't like anybody, he goes, "I see you still got your Dallas Cowboy jersey on." And not even looking up, he goes, "I see you still got your little boy haircut." And it fucking leveled the place, dude. Leveled the place. Me and Pat shit ourselves laughing, dude.
32:56 H. Foley? Little boy haircut.
32:58 Speaker 01 That was when you were hanging and being close to the owner of the bar was cool.
33:02 H. Foley? Oh.
33:03 Speaker 01 That was the coolest you could be. They go, "Ah, I don't know, you know, fucking Jimmy, Jimmy showed." And then we were out, after you left, Jimmy showed up, closed the door, bought around the car bombs.
33:15 H. Foley? After hours, yeah.
33:16 Speaker 01 Fuck! I'm all pissed.
33:18 H. Foley? Car bombs? What?
33:20 Speaker 01 I went to get chicken fingers.
33:22 H. Foley? Being selected for happy hour, or for after hours was always good.
33:27 Speaker 01 That was to me...
33:28 H. Foley? And watching people get yanked out of there.
33:29 Speaker 01 You might as well be famous. That's like you're on the list.
33:32 H. Foley? Yeah.
33:33 Speaker 01 You're A and I know so and so, so and so.
33:35 H. Foley? Guys, we're closing up. You guys are cool, stay here.
33:37 Speaker 01 Hang out for a minute.
33:38 H. Foley? I'm there, fuck it.
33:41 Speaker 01 Fire up that fryolator.
33:44 H. Foley? My buddy, who I went to high school with, did well. I think in construction. And he... Driving a truck.
33:53 H. Foley? And he, uh...
33:54 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
33:55 H. Foley? He, um, he bought a bar in, uh, in Ambler and I remember, I don't know, late twenties, early thirties, uh, back in town. He would, he would, you get to hang out in the office. He called you, you got, you and a couple of the boys could go into the office and hang out back there.
34:15 Speaker 01 AKA Coke Town. Sitting on an empty keg. What are you talking about?
34:20 H. Foley? Well, the weather outside is frightful. Um, no, you're going to hang out. And it was always cool.
34:27 H. Foley? Yeah, you felt like you were famous.
34:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, my brother does that. You go anywhere with Danny, anywhere. I don't care.
34:33 H. Foley? He wants the VIP treatment.
34:34 Speaker 01 Not that. He gets in there and you're like talking and he's looking around. He's, he's, he's figuring out the organizational chart. Who's in charge? Do they own it? Yeah, she's related, she's ma- that's the, and he's going, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then next time you go in, that's the owner I know.
34:51 Speaker 01 He figures it out. He's-
34:52 H. Foley? That's the owner I know is brother.
34:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, he fucking, he really figures it. Hey, it must be the owner. Family organization.
34:59 H. Foley? It's always something, though. There's always a little, it's never just professional.
35:05 Speaker 01 What do you mean?
35:05 H. Foley? It's, you know, their cousin works there, this one knows this one.
35:09 Speaker 01 Well, that's-
35:09 H. Foley? That's the, that's the owner's wife, she's the manager.
35:12 Speaker 01 That's ninety, eh, eh, eh, I remember learning this in college. That's like, you think it's all like corporation. It's like, it's ninety-five percent small businesses and family owned businesses. A small business is like anything under fifty employees. So it's like, not whatever X amount of, you know, crazy large percent of, of businesses are small businesses.
35:30 H. Foley? Are we a family owned business?
35:33 Speaker 01 No.
35:34 H. Foley? Why not?
35:35 Speaker 01 Until you marry my mother, we won't be a family owned business. Uh, yeah, we're not, we, we run like a fam- there's a lot of dysfunction. We run like every family business I've ever been a part of.
35:44 H. Foley? We get lunch together.
35:45 Speaker 01 We get lunch together?
35:46 H. Foley? We do Christmas together.
35:48 Speaker 01 We do a Christmas episode together?
35:49 H. Foley? We go out to dinner together.
35:50 Speaker 01 Yeah. I mean, we're friends.
35:52 H. Foley? Are we a small business?
35:53 Speaker 01 Do we have fifty people working for us?
35:55 H. Foley? Oh, it's over fifty people.
35:57 Speaker 01 Is that the number? I, I think that's what it is. If I, if I remember correctly. A lot of times like when you do the insurance and stuff, it's like under fifty.
36:05 H. Foley? We just hired Mark the Shark.
36:06 Speaker 01 Hired Mark the Shark. His name's not Mark. But it's a great nickname.
36:10 Speaker 02 Five Hundred.
36:10 Speaker 01 Five Hundred?
36:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:12 H. Foley? Five Hundred?
36:14 H. Foley? What the, what are we, Chobani? Five Hundred?
36:16 Speaker 01 Why was that the, did you have Chobani today?
36:18 H. Foley? Yeah. For breakfast. The honey.
36:22 Speaker 01 What are we, lactaid? It's just like some random ass fucking dairy.
36:25 H. Foley? I never trusted that.
36:26 Speaker 01 Nah, dude, that was for no-
36:28 H. Foley? You're taking the milk out of the milk?
36:29 Speaker 01 I think-
36:30 H. Foley? And trying to sell it to me?
36:31 Speaker 01 I still don't get that. It's a little more accepted now. Yeah, with the lactaid, hey, we can't do the sleepover, okay? I'm gonna have my mom come pick me up.
36:40 H. Foley? That and egg beaters.
36:41 Speaker 01 Oh, no, fucking dude, trying to, trying to throw me a bowl of Frosted Flakes with lactaid? Yo, pick me up. I'm gonna have my dad hit suburban diner. Where the baking's done on premises.
36:54 H. Foley? That and that New Horizons milk, I've told you.
36:56 Speaker 01 That's milk though, no?
36:57 H. Foley? Ah, you smell that cap, it stinks. I don't know what it is.
37:00 Speaker 01 Dude, I trust the generic, non, I mean, at home, it's, you know, Rosenberg, that kinda stuff. But I, if I'm in a, if I go, if I go to Cleveland, I'm, I'm trusting the red cap, the red label, the plastic, microplastic junk. That's what I don't want. I'm not going carton. I'm not go, I want, I want like, bad milk.
37:20 H. Foley? We have not talked-
37:21 Speaker 01 And I was that way with eggs for a long time.
37:23 H. Foley? You like bad egg, you like the bleached white?
37:25 Speaker 01 I've stepped it up.
37:26 H. Foley? Yeah.
37:26 Speaker 01 I've stepped it up, just cuz-
37:27 H. Foley? As a kid, brown eggs?
37:29 Speaker 01 Dude-
37:29 H. Foley? What am I, fucking Amish?
37:30 Speaker 01 Dude-
37:31 H. Foley? Get outta here with that shit.
37:32 Speaker 01 Up until three years ago-
37:33 H. Foley? The pigeon shit on them?
37:34 Speaker 01 My, I, yeah, they're, I'm like, you're sending me dirty eggs? I don't like things, this is-
37:39 H. Foley? Yeah, run them through the dishwasher, right?
37:40 Speaker 01 This is how I operate. I don't like things not going through like, a corporate oversight.
37:44 H. Foley? Processing.
37:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:45 H. Foley? Yeah.
37:46 Speaker 01 I'm not picking berries off the street and eating them. Fucking put them in a bag, spray them with some formaldehyde, sell them at the Acme.
37:52 H. Foley? Yeah.
37:53 Speaker 01 That's what I'm talking about.
37:54 H. Foley? Um, we don't talk enough about Rosenburgers. Which, it's a Philadelphia company, I believe, right, or local?
38:01 Speaker 01 It was always area, yeah, like, it was the area to me.
38:03 H. Foley? They did iced tea, they did chocolate milk, their chocolate milk was banging. They had all the schools. They would do the little banger cartons. That looked like half gowns, but they were in a little, you know, like a little-
38:14 Speaker 01 Carton of small carton, yeah, individual carton of milk. Which I, that was never enough for me.
38:17 H. Foley? No, sucked. See people drinking it with a straw, like, what the fuck?
38:22 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
38:22 H. Foley? Yeah, never enough. Always left you thirsty.
38:25 Speaker 01 Then I remember, I remember-
38:26 H. Foley? But Rosenburger, shout out to them. Okay, what do you know about Uncommon Goods?
38:28 Speaker 01 Uh, I know nothing. Why don't you tell me about Uncommon Goods, big dog?
38:32 H. Foley? Well, I'm good on my friend. Uncommon Goods has something for everybody. From moms and dads to kids and teens, from book lovers, history buffs, and diehard football fans, to foodies, mixologists, avid gardeners. Find thousands of new gift ideas that you won't find anywhere else. When you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses, many handcrafted products and made in small batches. So shop now, before they sell out this holiday season.
38:58 Speaker 01 Yes. Uncommon Goods takes the stress out of gift giving with thousands of unique, high quality- Quality finds that you won't find anywhere else. Listen, I stink at giving gifts. I logged on to Uncommon Goods. Beep, boop, bop, boop, boop. You knock everybody out. I got like 20 people I gotta buy for. Wipe them off the list. All easily done with Uncommon Goods. And everybody's gonna like what they get. Uh, so don't wait. Cross off those names off your list before the rush. To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/AYG. That's uncommongoods.com/AYG for 15% off. Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary over here at Uncommon Goods, baby.
39:32 H. Foley? Do it. Okay, we gotta talk about Factor.
39:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, scream it from the rafters. Factor, factor, factor.
39:37 H. Foley? Factor, factor, factor. We are a Factor family. Been a Factor family before they were even sponsors. We love Factor. Gang, what you wanna do is you wanna go over there. You wanna choose from a wider variety of selections. Weekly meal options, including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp. At no extra cost. We're talking about support your wellness goals. All right? Sickie season, you're starting to get sick. You wanna support your wellness goals. Everyone that's working on their GLP-1s. We have friendly meals and new Mediterranean diet options. Packed with protein and good for you fats. We're talking about the best ready to eat meal kit in the United States of America. You throw it in the microwave, two minutes, and you're ready to go.
40:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, as the holiday season gears up, you got busier routines, shorter days. Finding time to cook can be tough. That's why I lean on Factor. And listen, you don't have to do it for every meal of the day. Do it for a couple of meals. Hey, you get this, man, you get six meals. That takes six meals out of the week. Easy, I don't have to think, and you get a healthy meal. Uh, they got more choices, better nutrition. That's why 90%, 97% of customers say that Factor helped them live a healthier lifestyle. And listen, baby, I'm one of them guys. Uh, eat smart at factormeals.com/garbage50off. And use the code garbage50off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for a year. That's code garbage50off at factormeals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year.
40:57 Speaker 01 Get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualified, qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. Do it. My elementary school, midway through, maybe, I was never a milk at lunch guy.
41:12 H. Foley? Really?
41:12 Speaker 01 Nah, just doing can of coke.
41:16 Speaker 01 Wrapped in tin foil and sometimes warm, dude, a warm Coke on your... I feel your teeth rotting out in second grade.
41:22 H. Foley? Yeah.
41:23 Speaker 01 But, uh...
41:24 H. Foley? Spring for the ice pack, Patty, will ya? You're wrapping it in tin foil?
41:28 Speaker 01 I didn't like the ice pack, then I gotta come home with stuff. That was a chore to me.
41:32 H. Foley? Oh, that was, that was single use.
41:34 Speaker 01 I would, I would lose my, my mom would be like, "Where's your lunch bag?" I go, "Let's, give me the brown bag. What are we doing?"
41:41 H. Foley? Where's your lunch suitcase?
41:44 H. Foley? Walking it with a roller.
41:45 Speaker 01 Which, shout out to Fleazy, if you're on the Patreon, you might know him. Fleazy, our boy Fleazy.
41:50 H. Foley? Yeah.
41:50 Speaker 01 Top Flight Fleazy.
41:51 H. Foley? Yeah.
41:52 Speaker 01 He uses the roller bag. We should get behind that. Instead of a school bag, a backpack, walking around, everybody should roll with a roll. You should be able to roll day to day with a roller bag, the drag bag.
42:02 H. Foley? What are you putting in there?
42:02 Speaker 01 What?
42:03 H. Foley? What are you putting in there?
42:04 Speaker 01 What aren't you putting in there? How much better would your day be if you had all the comforts?
42:08 H. Foley? It would be empty. I don't bring anything. I don't have anything.
42:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, cuz you don't wanna carry a bag.
42:12 H. Foley? I would, I don't have nothing.
42:14 Speaker 01 You have some snacks in there? Some Rosenburgers milk?
42:17 Speaker 01 If it was socially acceptable, if we all rolled into work with a drag bag.
42:21 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
42:22 Speaker 01 Tired of going class to class with sore, sore shoulders and a broken spirit.
42:24 H. Foley? Sure. TNT Entertainment.
42:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:27 H. Foley? TNT Amusement.
42:28 Speaker 01 TNT Amusement. Shout out to Tucky. Uh, I'm just saying...
42:31 H. Foley? And the whole Tucky family, especially during the holiday season.
42:34 Speaker 01 Yes. Um, that, I, I would get down with that. Yeah, a computer in there, some snacks, power bars, pack of heaters. You know, change your underwear.
42:44 H. Foley? Well, this guy's lost his mind.
42:45 Speaker 01 What? You're not all, you're not in with that? You know what? You used to carry a bag.
42:51 H. Foley? What?
42:51 Speaker 01 You used to run around the city in that mess, that Rockstar messenger bag, man. Where did, where did you get that? There was a version of Foley.
42:58 H. Foley? I know exactly what you're talking about.
43:00 Speaker 01 It was like, it was like, I don't know the, where you got it.
43:04 H. Foley? It was...
43:04 Speaker 01 You do claim you got it at an Army Navy surplus store, which I do not think you did. I think you got it at like...
43:09 H. Foley? Bradley's.
43:10 Speaker 01 An Old Navy or something.
43:11 H. Foley? You got it at Bradley's.
43:12 Speaker 01 And you used to claim, "Oh, what I..."
43:13 H. Foley? It had red wings on it and a parachute thing.
43:16 Speaker 01 Uh-huh, and he would claim he got, you steal valor.
43:18 H. Foley? I think I used to tell people it was an Israeli paratrooper bag.
43:21 Speaker 01 You did. Yes, you did. That's how nuts he is. That's how...
43:24 H. Foley? It's Al Qaeda.
43:26 Speaker 01 Taliban. That's how, I got a friend at Gipmo, he sent it back.
43:32 Speaker 01 That's how nuts you are.
43:33 H. Foley? Yeah, I used to, I used to have that and I had my notebooks in there. And I had it in New York. Somebody stole it from the Lantern one time and I found it a block away. That's when you know you're losing at life. When someone steals your bag and then leaves it on the street a block away. Nothing was taken out of it.
43:48 Speaker 01 Leaves a 20 in there for you?
43:49 H. Foley? But it was opened. It was a dirty scarf that smelled like pure butt, because I wore it every day. And like some notebook with some bad jokes in there. And my pens, I was big on my pens. I had my, my micron Japanese drafting pen. That when I write it, when I wrote with it, I felt like such a, like I was a genius. I felt like a smart Asian kid.
44:08 Speaker 01 You...
44:10 Speaker 01 You did. I wasn't...
44:13 H. Foley? But I wore that, my pleather jacket.
44:15 Speaker 01 Yeah. And that, that, that short sleeve, white, like with like black or red dot, the small dot shirts.
44:22 H. Foley? God, that shirt. Did very well in that shirt a couple of times.
44:27 Speaker 01 Sure.
44:28 H. Foley? On the SATs.
44:29 Speaker 01 Um, yeah, you were...
44:32 H. Foley? What are you getting at? Did I stink?
44:34 Speaker 01 No. What, I mean, I don't know why you fucking snapped.
44:41 Speaker 01 I'm just saying, as a guy who liked the bag at one point, you did carry your stuff around. Imagine if you had a nice, a nice roller bag where it was socially acceptable to bring all your cool stuff.
44:49 H. Foley? That was hot back then, wearing those things.
44:51 Speaker 01 I'm saying, what if this was hot? That would be cool. You roll up, you got all your stuff, your charger, your headphones, your keys.
44:58 H. Foley? I think they would have to, I think I've said this to you before, it would have to be the ones that, that, that, that, uh, have power on them. You get on it and you ride away.
45:09 H. Foley? That should become fashionable. We should all be zipping around the airport in those things.
45:15 Speaker 01 Nah.
45:15 H. Foley? Yeah. That thing's sick. You pull your crackers out of your bag, have a cracker.
45:19 Speaker 01 See, now you got crackers. Now, see?
45:21 H. Foley? Then you sit on it and fucking... Right down. We should all be zipping around. We should have little, we should have those one wheel things that we're all zipping around town in.
45:31 Speaker 01 I don't want to be on them.
45:32 H. Foley? Why? You look cool.
45:35 Speaker 01 Uh-uh.
45:36 H. Foley? You love that mess in your bag.
45:38 Speaker 01 I hated that thing. I hated it because like, you thought it was like a conversation starter because you would, you've made up an origin story of it, which it was not. I got this is in the Israeli paratrooper bag. And you're like, first of all, why is that cool?
45:51 H. Foley? I don't know.
45:51 Speaker 01 Uh, it wa- it wasn't. Everybody go, ah, cool, man.
45:55 H. Foley? You in the military? No.
45:56 Speaker 01 No.
45:58 Speaker 02 The military stuff you get at like Old Navy and like that mid 2000s was so corny.
46:04 H. Foley? I had to think.
46:04 Speaker 01 That you're, you're, you're, you're looking at the spokesman.
46:07 H. Foley? I remember, I remember, I remember when I fucking, when, when I, when I fatted out of, uh, Old Navy. It was a sad day.
46:13 Speaker 01 I remember that. I used to go to the one over like on like 6th, like the fashion district. And he'd go, I mean, he, this is what he would say though. Every day, for the listener, every day, I worked like a straight job. I worked at an office. So I had a very, you know, I was out by 5:30, 6 o'clock every, I'd be downtown, six, whatever. He was a little more jumping around, a little more, a little more piecing things together. You know what I mean? You were.
46:36 H. Foley? There's a gig culture back then.
46:37 Speaker 01 Gig economy. So you were in and out of like, you do, you were waiter, you were waiting table, like steady jobs, but.
46:43 H. Foley? Yeah, I got fired a couple of times.
46:44 Speaker 01 I'm not saying that. Uh, but sometimes you'd be working in the morning, afternoon, whatever. You were, you were a little more flex. I don't know why you're taking this the wrong way. That's all I'm saying is you were a little more like, it wasn't.
46:54 H. Foley? And I'd do a little shopping before my spot.
46:57 Speaker 01 Yeah. So we'd meet up because we're not going home. We live so deep out in the borough. I lived all the way uptown. You lived all, I mean, you were, you were floating around at that time.
47:04 H. Foley? Man.
47:05 Speaker 01 But instead of.
47:06 H. Foley? A trash bag of clothes and a guitar.
47:08 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
47:10 H. Foley? Yeah. From Bushwick to Astoria, from Astoria to Bensonhurst.
47:15 Speaker 01 But instead of going back to our respect, I mean, at that point, we were probably both on couches, going back to our respective couches.
47:21 H. Foley? Yeah.
47:22 Speaker 01 We would just meet up, hang out, find a Starbucks or something, post up. You introduced me to iced coffee. Thank you very much.
47:28 H. Foley? I did?
47:29 Speaker 01 Uh-huh. I have a picture of it. I have a picture of the first day.
47:33 H. Foley? You should tell me more things like this. That makes me feel great.
47:38 Speaker 01 You introduced me to Bryant Park, which is near and dear to my heart.
47:40 H. Foley? Now who's that? How do they spell that with a Y?
47:44 Speaker 01 Was he in the Israeli Air Force with me?
47:48 H. Foley? Taiwanese jet fighter. That's something I wanted to ask you.
47:53 Speaker 01 No, I'm not in the Taiwanese army.
47:55 H. Foley? Is it, how lame is it?
47:56 Speaker 01 Very.
47:58 H. Foley? We all wear bomber jackets.
48:00 Speaker 01 Not anymore. Bomber jackets are kind of phased out.
48:02 H. Foley? I just wore mine today, because it fits now.
48:06 Speaker 01 But you bought it four years ago? You still look good and it's a vibe.
48:10 H. Foley? No, I'm out.
48:11 Speaker 01 No, I'm telling you. It's cool that now no one's wearing them.
48:13 H. Foley? By the way.
48:14 Speaker 01 I'm just saying, we're all not wearing bomber jackets.
48:16 H. Foley? True classic.
48:17 Speaker 01 Hey, sponsor this episode.
48:19 H. Foley? True, I'm back in the true classic.
48:20 Speaker 01 That's great.
48:21 H. Foley? I got a whole pack of them at the house, too.
48:23 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
48:23 H. Foley? All yellow.
48:26 Speaker 01 Great. Colonel mustard.
48:29 H. Foley? Alright, I'm going today to get a new jacket. I want to get a new jacket anyway.
48:32 Speaker 01 No, no, no. I'm saying the bomber jacket looks good. That's a choice for you. That's cool.
48:35 H. Foley? I got a meeting today. I want to look cool. So I'm gonna go down and pick up a jacket.
48:38 Speaker 01 Okay. But, I'm sorry, they cut you off. Just to put a button in it, I'd meet up with somebody and go, "Meet me in a fashion, Dino Little Shop. Meet me in a fashion district." Yeah, you would. Yeah, you would.
48:52 H. Foley? Kippee, when you're shopping on 7th Avenue, you gotta look the part.
48:55 Speaker 01 And I'm like, alright. I remember, you're like, "Meet me at like, you know, whatever that, whatever, find out."
49:01 H. Foley? It was a cluster of Old Navy, Brown and T. Code Factory, and TJ Maxx on 6th Avenue.
49:05 Speaker 01 6th and, no, but 7th then. It would've been like 7th and like 24th or something like that.
49:09 H. Foley? Something.
49:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, in the 20s.
49:11 H. Foley? Yeah.
49:11 Speaker 01 I remember staying on the side of that Old Navy, cranking a heater.
49:14 H. Foley? I came out like a million bucks.
49:16 Speaker 01 Dude, he turned a corner and goes, "Let's go." And I'm thinking, we're walking into like, fuck it, I don't even know, like John Varvatos or I don't even know the real, I think we're walking in somewhere where you got like a personal shopper, and he fucking kicks in the doors to the Old Navy.
49:31 H. Foley? Tony!
49:34 Speaker 01 I was like, this guy's a mover and shaker.
49:36 H. Foley? I remember. Really?
49:37 Speaker 01 No. You asked me to bum a cig. What are you, you asked for kills on my cig and then walked into an Old Navy?
49:44 H. Foley? That's when I had these deals that Patty was, Patty was feeding me coupons from like Labor Day and shit. $10 off this, $10 off that. Remember those Old Navy things? Gift certificates are everywhere?
49:58 H. Foley? Except that you jammed up, because I buy a lot of shit on clearance and they didn't count for the tickets. But I remember when I fatted out of Old Navy. Go in there, you know, I had them in an XL, maybe for a couple XLs.
50:10 Speaker 01 I remember you going, nah, that's not gonna swing it. Like you knew certain things.
50:14 H. Foley? Yeah.
50:14 Speaker 01 That's the way I was at H and M. Certain things just aren't gonna work. I gotta get...
50:18 H. Foley? Hit 2X. It's limited, but you could find one.
50:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:22 H. Foley? And then once that don't work, gang, it's been real. I'll be over at the DXL.
50:29 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
50:30 H. Foley? Take care, Hank.
50:32 H. Foley? Thanks, boys.
50:32 Speaker 01 Ahoy, matey.
50:33 H. Foley? Wear a fleece for me one day, will you, fellas? Remember those fleeces? Every trash bag in Philly wore, those Old Navy fleeces?
50:41 Speaker 01 Performance fleece.
50:42 H. Foley? Have a cigarette burn on there.
50:43 Speaker 01 Never big. I was never a fleece guy.
50:45 H. Foley? No.
50:45 Speaker 01 I don't like the way it fell on me.
50:46 H. Foley? I look like a fucking tennis ball.
50:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, I look like a smock. Bad look for the kid.
50:51 H. Foley? Bad look.
50:52 Speaker 01 I look like a big mitten.
50:53 H. Foley? Well, what I was gonna say is, is it garbage to wear the fighter jacket with the fighter patches on it?
51:00 Speaker 01 You got, listen, for us...
51:01 H. Foley? Unless you're a fighter pilot.
51:03 Speaker 01 I think there's fashion, like there's guys who are, there's people who are into fashion where that does play. Like, and you're going like, this is a look I'm going, that's not our look.
51:12 H. Foley? No. What?
51:13 Speaker 01 We look like we're about to storm the Capitol.
51:18 H. Foley? I got a raccoon hat on.
51:22 H. Foley? Fucking trash can lid as a shield. You ever see those?
51:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, it would be a bad look. You can't... When...
51:33 H. Foley? Running at an FBI agent with a folding chair strapped to your arm? You're gonna lose that battle.
51:40 Speaker 01 When dudes like us try to do anything like, not that...
51:43 H. Foley? Cool.
51:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, cool, it's just, we're just not cool guys. I've... I've...
51:52 H. Foley? Family show, gang.
51:53 Speaker 01 Uh, I don't know if I told you.
51:55 H. Foley? What? Somebody asking about me?
51:57 Speaker 01 Somebody said they were opposed to me? No, the good boys at, uh, Carhartt reached out to me.
52:01 H. Foley? Get the fuck out of here.
52:02 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
52:03 H. Foley? Cease and desist?
52:04 Speaker 01 That's what I said. Wait till, wait till that merch, wait till you see that new merch drop, gang. This email ain't gonna be too sweet.
52:11 H. Foley? That's what I need is a new Carhartt. Hit me up!
52:13 Speaker 01 No, I'm Carhartt. You're not, I'm the Car. They say, "Hey, Kebby, we realize you're wearing Carhartt all the time." I said, "Buddy, I just put in an order." He goes, "We'll send you some stuff."
52:19 H. Foley? I need a brand.
52:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, go find one.
52:22 H. Foley? Yeah. Timmy, Timmy D's got the polo.
52:24 Speaker 01 Old Navy. Buddy, I've been trying to get you in cool shit. In okay, not cool shit, in decent looking shit. You fight me on it. You do. I'd send Diesel, I'd take you shopping.
52:33 H. Foley? Is Superdry coming back? Remember dudes wearing that shit when we got up here open mic? Cause dudes always rocking Superdry. I went in there one time, I was like, "What the fuck? That ain't a medium." And this shit is expensive.
52:46 Speaker 01 Sure.
52:47 H. Foley? Yeah. But when I was a kid, I can't, however I'm gonna express this, I am underestimating it. Or I am underselling it. I wanted Tom Cruise's jacket from Top Gun so fucking bad. I thought if I had that jacket and a motorcycle,
53:07 H. Foley? and could fly an F-14, I would be alright. I mean, that dude was killing it. You ever see that jacket?
53:15 Speaker 01 You gotta be able to back it up, I would say. Well, you did make it to the-
53:18 H. Foley? Work the stick. I can't.
53:19 Speaker 01 You didn't, you did make it to the Israeli Air Force, so that's pretty good.
53:23 H. Foley? Paratrooper.
53:25 H. Foley? I don't know what it was. It was a red something. It was a grenade bag, I think. They put your grenades in there. Cause I remember seeing it in a couple of movies when they were like-
53:33 Speaker 01 It was a, what do you mean? No, it wasn't.
53:35 H. Foley? No, but that's what it was used for, I think, in the military. What?
53:38 Speaker 01 It was a, what? Stop trying to sell, wait, dude, you're-
53:41 H. Foley? No, that style of bag.
53:42 Speaker 01 It was a messenger bag.
53:44 H. Foley? Yeah, but in the army, they would put grenades and shit in there.
53:47 Speaker 01 That bag was not in the army.
53:48 H. Foley? No, not that specific bag, that style.
53:51 Speaker 01 It was a messenger bag.
53:52 H. Foley? I think it was a World War II grenade bag.
53:54 Speaker 01 It was a green messenger bag that you bought, that you bought, as you said, at Bradley's.
54:00 H. Foley? I've seen it in movies, where they were like about to all get killed, and then you pull a couple of, you, you always have a bag of grenades that in the last minute, you pull all the pins.
54:08 Speaker 01 You just got burgers in there. Fuck, wrong bag.
54:11 H. Foley? And you go in and then you drop all the pins in front of the monster, whoever.
54:14 Speaker 01 Did I ever tell you the time I bought a grenade? My mom-
54:16 H. Foley? Bought a grenade?
54:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, there was this, uh-
54:17 H. Foley? I jumped on a couple.
54:20 H. Foley? Only in New York.
54:23 Speaker 01 Hawks eat squirrels.
54:26 Speaker 01 We went to some weird, uh, not like-
54:30 H. Foley? Expo?
54:30 Speaker 01 No, like, which I did, I did make my dad take me to the gun expo one time. He was again, that and like the record one where it's like-
54:38 H. Foley? Oh, I've been to that.
54:39 Speaker 01 That thing, my dad walked in, he goes, he goes, buddy, this is-
54:43 H. Foley? You gotta get some pussy.
54:45 Speaker 01 I was young, I was probably like eight, nine. It was a lesson. He went, these things, he's like, cause they were advertising it on the radio all the time and he's like- This is when I was going to work with them a lot, or just in the car when we were-
54:57 H. Foley? Wait, this is like the thing downtown, like would they have the old records and they have posters and all that stuff?
55:01 Speaker 01 This was at the Valley Forge Convention Center.
55:05 H. Foley? He's pretty, listen kid.
55:07 Speaker 01 No, he's just like, it's not gonna be what you think it is. I go, they said they got 10 million records in this place.
55:12 H. Foley? Did you have a record player?
55:13 Speaker 01 Or just albums, CDs, things you couldn't get, stickers, tour, merch, and like, I was like getting into-
55:19 H. Foley? A Japanese vinyl?
55:21 Speaker 01 Not even, it wasn't even like specifics, it was just like, this is cool. I don't know, music, it's cool. They were fucking President Steve were advertising, I had to get there.
55:29 H. Foley? Sure.
55:29 Speaker 01 And he goes, it's not gonna be what you think it is. And I remember walking in and there was like nine, it was like a bunch of tables and like nine people walking, it was like- Like a tumbleweed blew across and he's, I was like, ah.
55:41 H. Foley? Let's just go to Friendly's.
55:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, we did one half a lap and he's like, you know, you see, I told, he's like this stuff, he's like, you can't believe everything you read type deal.
55:49 H. Foley? Oh, man.
55:50 Speaker 01 It was very much, that's how they get ya. You know what I mean?
55:53 H. Foley? Yeah. Took you to a gun show?
55:55 Speaker 01 I think so. I was into guns at a young age.
55:57 H. Foley? Really?
55:58 Speaker 01 Yeah. I told you I had a holster. Took me to a real, he went and bought me a real holster.
56:03 H. Foley? Cheese steak?
56:06 Speaker 01 But I went to this-
56:07 H. Foley? Sure you kept your ketchup?
56:08 Speaker 01 But I went to this, uh, my mom took me to this, like, not a farmer's market, but like, uh-
56:14 Speaker 01 It was like a shat, it was like a collection of-
56:17 H. Foley? An auction, trying to sell you? 45, 65, 75?
56:21 Speaker 01 Sports-induced asthma. Um, whatever, and they had a grenade with the drilled out bottom, like a real grenade. And he goes, I'm not supposed to be selling these, cause you can find out how to fill them on the internet.
56:38 H. Foley? I'll take two.
56:39 Speaker 01 And my mom goes, "Well, we don't have the internet." And then bought me an old decommissioned hand grenade. And I wanted to be like, "This is how, this is what you see on the news."
56:50 H. Foley? And what did you do with it?
56:51 Speaker 01 I just thought it was cool. I fucking play with it, throw it, dive over the couch, fucking cover your ears and shit. Fucking clear a room, fucking bust a bunker. What do you need me to do, dude?
57:02 H. Foley? Your mom's trying to make dinner, you're flashbanging her?
57:06 H. Foley? Come here!
57:08 H. Foley? Man.
57:12 H. Foley? Whew. You've really turned things around.
57:16 Speaker 01 So have you. What are you talking about?
57:17 H. Foley? I haven't, you have.
57:19 Speaker 01 What if I turned around?
57:20 H. Foley? We really got you straightened out, didn't we, boy?
57:22 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
57:22 H. Foley? From Forrest Gump. I mean, you were a dork. Now you're a successful businessman, podcaster, comedian.
57:29 Speaker 01 I was eight years old. I'm not like 16 doing this. I was smoking heaters and drinking frosty brews at that point.
57:38 Speaker 01 Many men wish death upon me. Me and Pat cruising out with sideways hats, cruising out to 50 Cent. Many men cranking heaters.
57:46 H. Foley? You girls wanna see my grenade?
57:50 Speaker 01 Show my asshole.
57:53 H. Foley? Boom.
58:06 Speaker 01 Uh, speaking of weird little kids, Dr. Chalupa-Cabra. That's a pretty good name.
58:12 H. Foley? That's great. They should make that a Taco Bell, the Chalupa-Cabra.
58:16 Speaker 01 Haunting your dreams? Is that what the Chupacabra, is the Chupacabra real? No, it's a mythical beast.
58:21 H. Foley? Mythical beast.
58:24 Speaker 01 Uh, is it garbage if you used to flip your eyelids as a kid?
58:29 H. Foley? I saw a meme the other day that said, like, nine out of ten kids that flipped their eyebrows, or flipped their eyelids are in prison.
58:36 Speaker 01 Sure.
58:37 H. Foley? Yeah, it was only a certain ambidextrous person that could do it.
58:41 Speaker 01 I don't know if that's the right word, but sure.
58:43 H. Foley? They could do that, they could do the spit down and suck it back up, snap their arm, they had a really good bang, bang, bang.
58:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, same kid, uh, same kid in my grade, buddy of mine, could flip his eyelids, he could do the lips where like, kinda like Fire Marshal Bill.
58:58 H. Foley? Oh, yeah.
58:59 Speaker 01 They go up and down and it's just his teeth, and he could also make himself fart.
59:02 H. Foley? Yeah.
59:03 Speaker 01 He could suck air in his ass.
59:04 H. Foley? That's crazy.
59:05 Speaker 01 I don't know how to...
59:06 H. Foley? Good time in college.
59:07 Speaker 01 I remember getting picked, I mean, again, we were probably ten, twelve, you know, out of something, and he showed me that at his house. I was like, "Yeah, you know, he can fart on demand," I said. "I'm gonna have to get some ice on this."
59:18 H. Foley? I'll show you, make it even.
59:21 H. Foley? You fart.
59:22 Speaker 01 Somebody pull, pull the pin on this guy, okay? And, so, I remember getting in the car and going, "Dad, you're not gonna believe what Matt can do."
59:36 H. Foley? I know you're behind on the mortgage and all that stuff, but wait to hear this.
59:39 Speaker 01 I think I got the, I got the answer to all of our problems.
59:45 H. Foley? We get this freak down to Atlantic City?
59:46 Speaker 01 You get him at the Valley Forge Convention Center, we start selling tickets. We start running ads, people paying to see this guy, you wet your beak. Yeah, that was, uh...
59:57 H. Foley? Joe Testarini, the magic farting boy. Step right up.
1:00:03 Speaker 01 And the one time we made him do it in the pool and he sucked in water.
1:00:08 H. Foley? Caught a parasite, he was dead in a week.
1:00:13 H. Foley? Apparently chlorine's not good for the gallbladder.
1:00:17 Speaker 01 That's crazy.
1:00:18 H. Foley? Oh, God!
1:00:20 Speaker 01 He shit himself. Just gave him diarrhea.
1:00:30 H. Foley? I think a leaf cut in there.
1:00:36 H. Foley? Ah, that's dangerous. Opening up your butthole in a body of water?
1:00:40 Speaker 01 We didn't know what we were doing.
1:00:43 Speaker 01 I remember he was having a party and I str- I, I don't know if I was smoking, I guess I was smoking cigarettes, I had a pack of matches on me. And I struck a match in his basement. And his mom came down and fucking reamed me out. A bad, I don't know if I got kicked out, but it was like, who's got matches? And someone narked on me real quick.
1:01:03 H. Foley? Were you smoking?
1:01:04 Speaker 01 Not in the house, I think I just-
1:01:05 H. Foley? You just had matches?
1:01:06 Speaker 01 I was probably smoking at the time, yeah. Yeah, we're in junior high-
1:01:09 H. Foley? Were you just lighting matches?
1:01:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, I guess, I don't know. I'm fucking-
1:01:12 Speaker 02 Freak, he's farting all the time.
1:01:15 Speaker 01 But I, I think I was so used to my houses-
1:01:18 H. Foley? Real who's who you rolled with?
1:01:19 Speaker 01 My houses you could smoke in, so I'm going, there's no way they could smell a match. You know what I mean? Like, if you struck a match in my dad's house, it wouldn't, he wouldn't be able to sniff it out three floors down, you know what I mean? And she can't do it, it was like, she came down the stairs.
1:01:38 H. Foley? Like the Terminator.
1:01:39 Speaker 01 Fucking reamed me, ew. We weren't a lot of hangout together anymore. I was a bad kid.
1:01:45 H. Foley? There was something about getting yelled at-
1:01:46 Speaker 01 Compared to him.
1:01:47 H. Foley? As a kid, when you were fat, that made you feel worse. I don't know what it was, but I was aware of my fatness whenever I got yelled at. I was just waiting for the parent to be like, "You fat little bastard."
1:01:58 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
1:01:58 H. Foley? I don't know why.
1:01:59 Speaker 01 Is this because I'm fat?
1:02:04 H. Foley? No, you broke my window.
1:02:07 Speaker 01 You called my daughter a whore. Ah, that's when we were deep sixing each other, remember that? Do you know deep six?
1:02:16 H. Foley? Is that what you call it?
1:02:17 Speaker 01 Deep two and a half.
1:02:20 H. Foley? Finger blasting each other?
1:02:21 Speaker 01 No.
1:02:22 H. Foley? Deep sixing each other?
1:02:22 Speaker 01 Where you make yourself pass out?
1:02:24 H. Foley? That's what you call that?
1:02:26 Speaker 01 And then you push on their chest?
1:02:28 H. Foley? We just called that the pass out game. I did it once, not for me.
1:02:32 Speaker 01 Do, uh, Google deep six, see if that's the thing.
1:02:34 Speaker 02 We called it the pass out game.
1:02:35 H. Foley? I knew kids that would do that every day. Dude, we had a kid do-
1:02:37 Speaker 01 Too much cuz it would be like you breathe in and out five times or whatever and then he would be like, let me do 15 deep breaths and this kid's bad news now like,
1:02:45 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:02:46 Speaker 01 Off the reservation.
1:02:47 H. Foley? Attic behavior.
1:02:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, oh dude. At a very, at like 16, he's like,
1:02:52 H. Foley? It's when you know, dog.
1:02:53 Speaker 01 He's institutionalized for, and now he's, he's not doing great, but I've ever been like, guy, relax, I got, I got the matches.
1:03:02 H. Foley? Galaxy gas, same similar effect.
1:03:05 Speaker 01 What's galaxy gas?
1:03:06 H. Foley? Nitrous.
1:03:07 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
1:03:08 Speaker 02 Um, I don't have deep six.
1:03:10 Speaker 01 Who are you, my mom? I think they're doing galaxy gas.
1:03:13 H. Foley? That's what the kids are calling it now.
1:03:14 Speaker 01 Fucking nitrous.
1:03:17 Speaker 02 They don't call it deep six, it seems like on the internet, but they also call it space monkeys. Fainting game, choking game.
1:03:23 Speaker 01 That's great, space monkey. That's really, that's way better than deep six. Don't ever play space, it sounds like a video game.
1:03:29 H. Foley? Don't do that, kids out there if you're listening, don't do that shit.
1:03:32 Speaker 01 It's bad news.
1:03:32 H. Foley? You stay in school and eat your vegetables, smoke your heaters.
1:03:37 H. Foley? Like a gentleman.
1:03:39 H. Foley? I had sex in a hot tub one time.
1:03:42 Speaker 01 Sweet.
1:03:43 H. Foley? That's from a couple minutes ago, you're talking about the farting in the pool.
1:03:45 Speaker 01 Uh huh, okay.
1:03:47 H. Foley? Plus this one, everybody know, kinda wicked UTI.
1:03:50 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
1:03:50 H. Foley? Wicked.
1:03:51 Speaker 01 What was his name?
1:03:54 Speaker 01 We'll be right back.
1:03:57 Speaker 01 Um, all right, let's see here. Uh, this is from Daniel from Shaw in New York. $10 Wawa BLT hoagie with ranch and Old Bay, never have one red.
1:04:06 H. Foley? That's what you're doing?
1:04:07 Speaker 01 You can do Old Bay at Wawa?
1:04:08 H. Foley? Fuck that.
1:04:09 Speaker 01 No way. Can you see if that's on the menu?
1:04:11 H. Foley? Old Bay on a sandwich?
1:04:12 Speaker 01 They do BLT, I guess.
1:04:14 H. Foley? They do BLT.
1:04:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, I don't, uh,
1:04:15 H. Foley? I told you, they have that special sizzly.
1:04:18 Speaker 02 It's on the menu.
1:04:18 Speaker 01 Old Bay's on a menu.
1:04:19 H. Foley? Oh, yeah, I know the spices.
1:04:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, I don't, not perusing the spice menu that much.
1:04:24 H. Foley? Yeah, me neither.
1:04:26 Speaker 01 Is it garbage to take a break mid-sandwich slash meal to floss your teeth and then get back to eating? I eat a 10-inch classic, hit the placers, and then crush the second half with fresh chompers.
1:04:39 H. Foley? It's trashy, but I know exactly where you're coming from. You don't feel, he gets a lot of stuff in his teeth, probably could use some dental work. I have a spot right here. Where I always get a little tendon or something get stuck in there.
1:04:51 Speaker 01 You get like the white chunk of bread that's like too white.
1:04:54 H. Foley? If I can't get that out, it freaks me out.
1:04:56 Speaker 01 I get it.
1:04:56 H. Foley? So I respect it. You're coming back in fresh. That's like going in halftime and having a Gatorade. Getting your head on straight.
1:05:01 Speaker 01 Sure. Uh, I, I mean, I've honestly never really heard of it or thought about it. It's like, that could be classy. If you're doing it and like putting it on the dashboard of your car, I'd have to argue not classy. But I don't know.
1:05:13 H. Foley? I flush my dental floss.
1:05:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, I thought you're probably not supposed to do that.
1:05:18 H. Foley? Sometimes I forget to.
1:05:19 Speaker 01 I mean, I'm sure it's fine, but.
1:05:21 H. Foley? People get very upset when they see it in the toilet, which I don't understand why.
1:05:25 Speaker 01 Um, yeah, I just like, it's just not, it's someone else's refuse of some kind, I guess the argument would be of like, just flush the fucking toilet, you lazy motherfucker. That's what I think they would be saying.
1:05:37 H. Foley? It's not me talking to you, Brad. I like you.
1:05:39 Speaker 01 I like you. You're a nice guy. I'm saying this is what probably someone who doesn't like you would say.
1:05:43 Speaker 02 Should never flush dental floss.
1:05:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, I don't, you're not supposed to flush much.
1:05:46 H. Foley? Shouldn't do a lot of stuff. What are we doing here? Okay, we're here to make mistakes and love each other.
1:05:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:05:57 H. Foley? And get our, get our hearts broken.
1:05:58 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
1:05:59 H. Foley? And write music. And laugh and sing. Watch TV. Get a hoagie.
1:06:06 Speaker 01 Get two.
1:06:07 H. Foley? Forget about the rules, man.
1:06:08 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
1:06:09 H. Foley? Right?
1:06:10 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:06:10 H. Foley? You know what I'm saying?
1:06:11 Speaker 02 Live a life.
1:06:12 H. Foley? Live a life. Flush or wipe. Who cares?
1:06:17 Speaker 01 You jam up half a Queens, they gotta open up the, you know.
1:06:20 H. Foley? Open up the main?
1:06:21 Speaker 01 Mars Boulevard. Jam, jam everyone up.
1:06:25 H. Foley? We're there anyway.
1:06:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's what guys who do that kind of stuff. I'm not saying you're bad. I'm just saying like that's your.
1:06:32 H. Foley? I'm bad.
1:06:34 Speaker 01 Oh, I'm bad. Um, all right, let's see here. We got time for one more. This was from Zachary. Uh, faithful Navy Fed overdrafter here.
1:06:43 H. Foley? My man.
1:06:43 Speaker 01 Uh, is it garbage that we only had cash to buy tickets to the Pittsburgh show you just dropped? So we ran to our local Dollar General to get a Visa gift card to snag them VIP tickets up. We'll see you again in June.
1:07:00 Speaker 01 If you wondered why we couldn't use my card, it's because it was overdrafted. That-
1:07:04 H. Foley? Tell you what, whoever you're coming with, you got two t-shirts waiting for you at the show.
1:07:09 Speaker 01 There you go.
1:07:09 H. Foley? How about that?
1:07:10 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm. Just opened the door to everybody hitting you up with a sob story and just costs us $10,000 in merch.
1:07:15 H. Foley? No, that's it!
1:07:16 Speaker 01 All sales final.
1:07:18 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:07:18 Speaker 01 Um, I didn't, I mean dude, that is, it takes that kind of problem solving and resourcefulness that I've been, I, listen, I have been there.
1:07:26 H. Foley? You gotta be a dirtbag to know that stuff.
1:07:27 Speaker 01 You have to truly, and just not accept your, that is part of being a true dirtbag, is not accepting where you currently are. Of just going like, "I don't have a credit card to buy these tickets," or whatever, or to go get drunk, or to buy these heaters. That ain't stopping me.
1:07:46 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:07:46 Speaker 01 "I'm gonna find the quarters to get my ciggies. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna overdraft, pull out cash." Something to keep the plate sped-
1:07:54 H. Foley? "I'm gonna run to Dollar General and get a gift card and do it online." You know it's a big one on that? People getting their check on, "I got my check, but it's not gonna be clear until Monday."
1:08:03 Speaker 01 What? I never let that stay.
1:08:05 H. Foley? "Give me the check and 5% and I'll be back in 20 minutes with your money."
1:08:09 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
1:08:10 H. Foley? What?
1:08:10 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:08:11 H. Foley? Not taking no for an answer.
1:08:13 Speaker 01 There's, if you got a-
1:08:14 H. Foley? Figuring it out.
1:08:15 Speaker 01 Uh-huh. Dude, I remember the, I went to, uh, my, my first job out of college, it was at a roofing, I was selling roofs and windows door to door, and they went, it was, I was so jammed up, it was Friday, and Friday morning, I'm so jammed up. And they hit me with a, I'm probably making...
1:08:33 Speaker 01 29, or I'm probably making 30 grand a year.
1:08:37 H. Foley? Were you really jammed up, or did you just want that money to-
1:08:38 Speaker 01 No, I'm jammed up.
1:08:39 H. Foley? I always say that like, "I gotta cash this check today," but I always underspend it on him or her, you know what I mean? This or that.
1:08:46 Speaker 01 Sure, but my, I might take, I remember my time at, that, mm, I mean, this is, hold on, let's do the math. I was making $500 a week was my pay.
1:08:56 H. Foley? Gross.
1:08:58 Speaker 01 Gross. My net was like 322 or 388 something. And then I show, so now, come Friday, what's 500?
1:09:07 H. Foley? You're making 26,000 a year.
1:09:08 Speaker 01 26,000 dollars a year.
1:09:09 H. Foley? I've never looked at a-
1:09:09 Speaker 01 Plus commission, I never got one commission check.
1:09:10 H. Foley? I've never looked at a paycheck and thought that it was right. This has gotta be, this is wrong.
1:09:15 Speaker 01 Well, I knew, but there, whatever. So I remember, I remember I showed up. So dude, 388, a dirtbag, I'm 23 years old.
1:09:23 H. Foley? That's a great weekend.
1:09:24 Speaker 01 That's, that's a solid weekend with the boys.
1:09:27 H. Foley? Sure.
1:09:27 Speaker 01 That's drinking Friday night, drinking Saturday night, maybe hitting a mall, buying a fucking, a new button up at fucking, you know, something to keep, a pair of shoes or something.
1:09:36 H. Foley? Sure.
1:09:38 Speaker 01 Uh, and then, gas in the car, need gas for the week, fill up the tank, heater, sizzlys, the whole night. And that ain't making you that far. Um, and I needed the money so bad, and I get there and the guy goes, uh, "Hey, we're changing banks, you're not gonna get paid till Tuesday." And I went, "What the fuck's that gotta do with a guy named Kevin James Ryan? Ain't fucking shit."
1:10:01 H. Foley? Well, you're not getting the showroom door back until then.
1:10:05 Speaker 01 I got the sample windows in the trunk of the Tigo.
1:10:08 H. Foley? I'll sell them on the streets down at the fucking Italian market.
1:10:11 Speaker 01 And I wanted to be like, I said to my direct boss, I went, "Guy, I ain't leaving here without fucking 322 dollars. I don't know what to tell you."
1:10:20 H. Foley? You can fire me if you want.
1:10:22 Speaker 01 I'm on E right now, like, I can't get home. I need the cash. I came here to pick up my cash. And he goes, "Ah, yeah, you can't wait till mi-" I go, "Hey, either you start-"
1:10:32 H. Foley? Who the fuck, wait till Monday. What, what's, wait, what, what's Monday?
1:10:36 Speaker 01 I said, "You go hit the ATM personally, and I'll sign my check over to you come Monday, or fucking tell big, big man in the front office out there."
1:10:46 H. Foley? Go get Mr. Anderson. He's got his fucking money.
1:10:49 Speaker 01 He's got his triple payin' cash.
1:10:50 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:10:51 Speaker 01 I go, "Make go with the 388 or 322, whatever it was." That's crazy. I mean, listen, I run a, I run a fair ship for the most part. If I've ever been like, guys, you're not getting paid till, I go, um, I got it. If you need it, I'll cover whatever it is. You don't fucking stiff a guy making fucking 26 grand a year.
1:11:10 H. Foley? Imagine if I was running the books. That would be happening a lot. They're not on purpose, but.
1:11:14 Speaker 01 You're just bad with money.
1:11:15 H. Foley? Yeah. What would you be, you'd be coming in with a fucking picket sign.
1:11:20 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. They'd do, there would be a fucking, they'd be unionizing against you.
1:11:25 H. Foley? If lunch is late. You're a little testy.
1:11:28 Speaker 02 You freak out.
1:11:29 Speaker 01 Yeah. What are you talking about?
1:11:31 H. Foley? Luke, where's Lenwich?
1:11:33 Speaker 01 That's what you do.
1:11:34 H. Foley? I don't say that.
1:11:35 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
1:11:36 Speaker 02 Make sure to put my order in right.
1:11:38 Speaker 01 Luke, did you get my order in as you're staring down over your glasses with your scowl?
1:11:42 Speaker 02 I don't like olives. The next week, I really like olives.
1:11:46 Speaker 01 You know what I've been into recently? All right, we gotta wrap it up.
1:11:49 H. Foley? Gang, we love you to death, Philadelphia. We'll see you on December 13th at the Metropolitan Theater.
1:11:53 Speaker 01 Not only Philadelphia.
1:11:54 H. Foley? Of course, we got a lot of stuff going on.
1:11:56 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
1:11:57 H. Foley? Big tour this, this, uh, next year.
1:11:59 Speaker 01 Uh huh. Where are we going?
1:12:01 H. Foley? Where are we going?
1:12:02 Speaker 01 I'm gonna tell you where we're going. How's that sound?
1:12:04 H. Foley? I'll tell you where we're going.
1:12:05 Speaker 01 No, I'll do it in order. All right. So starting, we're going to, obviously.
1:12:08 H. Foley? Going to lunch.
1:12:10 Speaker 01 So, uh, hold on, let's just even coming up. Uh, we got Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania for the homecoming show every year we do. Shout out to the boys. Then we got Rochester, Toronto, those are almost sold out or going very quick. We got Austin, Tampa, Chicago, Bloomington, Nashville, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Ohio. Get your tickets. The boys are coming and we're hanging out.
1:12:31 H. Foley? That's Bloomington, Indiana at the Comedy Attic.
1:12:33 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:12:33 H. Foley? Does he, you know there's a Bloomington, Illinois?
1:12:35 Speaker 01 I believe I did know that. There's a...
1:12:38 H. Foley? Shout out to Laura on Instagram asked me that.
1:12:40 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:12:41 H. Foley? Is there, do you come to Bloomington, Indiana or Bloomington, Illinois? I was like, I don't know.
1:12:45 Speaker 01 Talk to kippie. I got a Lenwich order going.
1:12:48 H. Foley? Excited to get to the Comedy Attic.
1:12:49 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:12:49 H. Foley? Never been.
1:12:50 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
1:12:51 H. Foley? Love it. Got the merch too.
1:12:53 Speaker 01 Got the merch.
1:12:54 H. Foley? Pick up a Bug Man shirt.
1:12:56 Speaker 01 They are not moving that well. Shit. Hand to God, shocked. I thought that was gonna, typically whenever we do like a kippies or a folies, they move very well and we didn't do a kippies this time.
1:13:08 H. Foley? They don't want that stink on them.
1:13:10 Speaker 01 Man, nobody wants the worst summer. We sold about six of them fucking things. Everything else is flying off the fucking chart.
1:13:16 H. Foley? Ah, I love it. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.
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Previous Jim Gaffigan Returns! Next Late Credit Card Payments! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley Page updated October 31, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated