Pod Insights Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast Hot Guys w/ Kippy & Foley About this episode Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show!
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Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test.
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Transcript 12,587 words · 4 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
0:19 H. Foley? Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?
0:25 Speaker 02 Isn't it?
0:25 H. Foley? It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's good to be classy.
0:29 Speaker 02 Hello.
0:30 H. Foley? But they're just a big old piece of trash.
0:31 Speaker 02 Rubbish.
0:32 H. Foley? I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's and the new addition. She's upstairs making sweet love to herself. My Coz is coming at you from across the table.
0:42 Speaker 02 Sticking move, big man.
0:43 H. Foley? This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. And he is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman. And let me tell you this right now, next time you're reaching for a best pal, do yourself a favor, make it a Kippy. Or a La Croix, whatever you want. Kevin Ryan, everybody.
1:01 Speaker 02 What up, gang? Shout out to the, shout out to the homies and the bozos. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video now available on Spotify.
1:11 H. Foley? Look at that.
1:11 Speaker 02 There you go, over there, dropping a comment. Climbing up the charts over there on Spotify.
1:14 H. Foley? Too shabby.
1:15 Speaker 02 Uh, obviously, the Route 66 special. If you haven't already seen that, go watch that, share with a friend, put it in a group chat, the whole nine yards. Thank you for all the support on that. Uh, live shows are in full swing, tickets are moving. Get those, areyougarbage.com.
1:28 H. Foley? That's right, baby. I had a question for you before we get started.
1:31 Speaker 02 Hit me.
1:33 H. Foley? I've been trying to take better care of myself.
1:35 Speaker 02 All right, I didn't know we were gonna start off...
1:38 H. Foley? What?
1:39 Speaker 02 In Foleyville.
1:40 H. Foley? Therapy, on the pills, this, that, the other thing.
1:44 Speaker 02 Those are some boxing.
1:47 Speaker 02 Okay, yes, you are taking great strides. If you're not on Patreon, Foley's going through a, a journey. He's taking great strides in himself.
1:53 H. Foley? Yeah. Got a salad for lunch today?
1:55 Speaker 02 Threw it at me.
1:58 Speaker 02 I was promised a submarine sandwich.
2:01 H. Foley? Anyway.
2:02 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
2:03 H. Foley? Um, I've been, I'm getting older. You know what I mean? And though I have a youthful appearance, right? I've been blessed with good genetics.
2:13 Speaker 02 You look like the fat guy from Mr. Deeds that he beats up in the nice restaurant. The opera singer. Pull that, drop that in right there.
2:22 H. Foley? What is your, and you're the wrong person to ask.
2:25 Speaker 02 Why is that? What do you mean? I don't get that.
2:26 H. Foley? You're a gurus.
2:27 Speaker 02 Charles a garoody.
2:30 H. Foley? Um, but I'll ask you.
2:32 Speaker 02 All right.
2:32 H. Foley? I'll put it up to Luke as well, but he's a young guy, so he's not probably doing this stuff yet. And I, I never had to do it. You know what I mean? But it's catching up to me. What is your nightly routine before you go to bed? Like, is there a wash? Is there an eye cream? Is there?
2:48 Speaker 02 Is there an eye cream? My eyes look like they're falling out of my head. Is there an eye cream? No, I gotta go to the doctor. What do you mean eye cream? Um.
2:55 H. Foley? You haven't slept in 12 years.
2:57 Speaker 02 I, sometimes I'll do, I might, I got those little eye things, like the pads, I'll do them.
3:02 H. Foley? I've seen you do those before shows. It's weird. Like you're going to a cosplay or something. About to get freaky. Kippy's a furry.
3:09 Speaker 02 I'll do that on the, yeah, if I got ba, I mean, I get baggy eyes. A couple of Jan sports under here.
3:16 H. Foley? Couple of book bags.
3:17 Speaker 02 And, uh, yeah, sometimes if we're on the road and I'm groggy and I'm hungover and I'm drinking.
3:21 H. Foley? I'm saying on a nightly basis.
3:22 Speaker 02 Nah, just go to bed.
3:24 H. Foley? Really? That's so bad. Just going to, I do it too.
3:28 Speaker 02 I take a pee. I lay down. I like to get a fresh water. If I, that's about it. I like a nice glass of water. I wake up in the middle of the night mummified.
3:37 H. Foley? You brush your teeth before you go to bed every night?
3:39 Speaker 02 No. Every night? Absolutely not.
3:41 H. Foley? Wow.
3:42 Speaker 02 Does my wife like it? Absolutely not.
3:44 H. Foley? Man, if you don't, the morning breath difference is.
3:47 Speaker 02 I know.
3:48 H. Foley? Crazy.
3:48 Speaker 02 But sometimes it dries my mouth out too much. And then I'm like-
3:52 H. Foley? What are you brushing your teeth with?
3:54 Speaker 02 Pure bacon soda.
3:58 Speaker 02 It dries my mouth out too much and then I sleep real bad and I wake up wake up, you know, fucking huffing.
4:04 H. Foley? So no, you don't wash? You don't do nothing? Moisturizer? Nothing like that, huh?
4:10 Speaker 02 No. I'm going to bed.
4:12 H. Foley? Okay.
4:12 Speaker 02 I go to bed right now. The only thing, I take my jacket off is the only difference.
4:17 H. Foley? Sleeping in your jeans. Oh, I got caught doing that the other day. She freaked out. I got into bed with my cargo pants on.
4:25 Speaker 02 That's insane! Dude, I would divorce you immediately.
4:30 H. Foley? They're comfy. Sometimes I like it.
4:32 Speaker 02 No, you're just, it's lazy.
4:33 H. Foley? No!
4:34 Speaker 02 Yes, okay, defensive Dan. Nah! I swear to God!
4:39 H. Foley? They're so worn in perfectly. They're basically sweat- They're almost pajamas at this point. Cause I washed them so much. They're very thin.
4:46 Speaker 02 I don't believe any of that. Thinly a gabberdean. Yeah, no, I'll, I'll, I do, I do, I moisturize in the morning. That's what I moisturize.
4:55 H. Foley? The bird does, right? She has a whole routine.
4:57 Speaker 02 Don't get me started. The this and the that and the moistures and the creams and the stuff. Hey lady, just go to bed. You'll look like me. Wake up, they got two of us. Yikes. That's a bad hand to be dealt. No, I'm glad she does. You're a beautiful woman. She does everything, you know. One of us has to be good looking.
5:14 H. Foley? Sure.
5:15 Speaker 02 It ain't me.
5:16 H. Foley? That's what I say about you and I.
5:17 Speaker 02 What?
5:18 H. Foley? It's one of the reasons why I'm really starting this journey hard.
5:22 Speaker 02 What?
5:22 H. Foley? One of us has gotta be attractive.
5:24 Speaker 02 I think we know who that is. Luke?
5:30 H. Foley? That's why we keep her around.
5:33 Speaker 02 Sure. Yeah.
5:35 H. Foley? Yeah. I'm gonna work on that for us.
5:37 Speaker 02 Okay. Well then, we're fucked. Let's, let's, let's see if we can return these cameras and sell the van.
5:43 H. Foley? And I thought, thinking about getting rid of the beard, too.
5:45 Speaker 02 No, no. More hair, if anything.
5:48 H. Foley? Really? Cause I don't, the, what you call it?
5:50 Speaker 02 Well, let me do a touch of gray. That'll be, that'll be, let me, let me, well, we're go- Let me do a touch of gray.
5:55 H. Foley? I thought you said you didn't want me to do it.
5:56 Speaker 02 No, cause it looks bad, but that's the reason I'd be doing it.
5:59 H. Foley? You'll do it.
6:00 Speaker 02 I'll do it for you.
6:01 H. Foley? You'll touch my face?
6:02 Speaker 02 I wear gloves. And cut your head off and do it on a, and then do it on a second location.
6:09 Speaker 02 Uh.
6:10 H. Foley? Okay.
6:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
6:11 H. Foley? I've been trying to start doing that a little bit more. Wash my face, put a little moisturizer on, brush my teeth before I go to bed.
6:17 Speaker 02 You'll be the hot one in no time. Brush my teeth.
6:21 H. Foley? Cause I keep waking up in the morning and my teeth hurt. And I don't think that's a good thing. Get a little coat of Sensa night, I'm alright.
6:28 Speaker 02 Did you ever have your hair hurt?
6:29 H. Foley? What?
6:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
6:30 H. Foley? My hair hurt?
6:31 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
6:32 H. Foley? My pubes a little bit, you gotta scratch them out.
6:34 Speaker 02 They're running away from that thing.
6:37 H. Foley? They're getting wiry too.
6:38 Speaker 02 Alright dude, stop.
6:39 H. Foley? Thick.
6:40 Speaker 02 We're gonna get demonetized. Take a Brillo pad down there.
6:44 H. Foley? Oh man.
6:44 Speaker 02 Now, when was the last time you cleaned up down there?
6:47 H. Foley? With the buzzer?
6:49 Speaker 02 Ah, I don't remember shit.
6:50 H. Foley? Uh.
6:51 Speaker 02 Weed whacker, whatever.
6:51 H. Foley? Before the wedding.
6:52 Speaker 02 Oh yeah.
6:53 H. Foley? I trimmed it up.
6:54 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
6:55 H. Foley? But she had to do it, so it kinda takes it away a little bit.
6:57 Speaker 02 Alright, okay. I mean, you're fucking.
7:00 H. Foley? I can't ask the girl at the nail place to do it, they'll throw me out again.
7:06 H. Foley? Go down there with the fucking welding mask.
7:08 Speaker 02 What do you do with your hands when that's happening?
7:12 Speaker 02 Picture you with your hands, just hanging. Uh, you're probably being a dick, cause you are. You're probably being a real, real bitch about it.
7:23 H. Foley? If you really wanna know, I gotta hold up my belly.
7:25 Speaker 02 That was worse than I pictured.
7:29 Speaker 02 Hurry up! Let's take it, I can't hold this all day. Jesus. This is embarrassing for me.
7:37 Speaker 02 Well, it's what it's doing to you.
7:41 H. Foley? God love her.
7:42 Speaker 02 Uh, I had one the other day, I, I, it's something I did the other day that made me think of, uh...
7:47 H. Foley? Me?
7:48 Speaker 02 No. Oh god, no. Uh, of being a garbage. I've done it, uh, cause my wife kinda looked at me, uh...
7:58 H. Foley? Ew.
7:59 Speaker 02 Ew.
8:01 Speaker 02 No, I, uh, I asked a guy where he got a coffee.
8:06 H. Foley? Yeah.
8:07 Speaker 02 Right? Hey, where'd you get? But I'm used to doing-
8:09 H. Foley? Really?
8:09 Speaker 02 No, it was, well, it was the further conversation. I'm used to doing that and seeing that done with beers. When you're somewhere, not at a bar, you're at like an amusement, you're at like a Six Flags, and you see a guy walking with a beer, it's natural happenstance for my-
8:25 H. Foley? Yo!
8:26 Speaker 02 -my family to be like, "Hey buddy, where'd you get that beer?"
8:28 H. Foley? Where'd you score them beers?
8:29 Speaker 02 Hey, I got it right back there.
8:31 H. Foley? And did you got any more on ya?
8:32 Speaker 02 Uh-huh. Do they take credit?
8:34 H. Foley? Okay.
8:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, I don't know, just asking somebody where they got those beers is very trashy.
8:39 H. Foley? So, did you ask somebody about the coffee?
8:40 Speaker 02 Yeah. And then it led to-
8:42 H. Foley? Where were you that you didn't know your surroundings?
8:44 Speaker 02 In the mall.
8:45 H. Foley? You were in the mall?
8:46 Speaker 02 Uh-huh.
8:46 H. Foley? You saw a guy with a coffee?
8:48 Speaker 02 Saw a guy with a coffee.
8:49 H. Foley? Did you know the branding of the coffee?
8:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, Starbucks.
8:53 H. Foley? So, you said, "Hey, where's that Starbucks?"
8:55 Speaker 02 I said, "Hey man, where'd you get that coffee?"
8:56 H. Foley? What, are you looking to chit chat? Why don't you just look at the map like a normal person?
8:59 Speaker 02 Look at the map?
9:01 H. Foley? You asked somebody? I would've treated you like an asshole. I got it at Starbucks.
9:05 Speaker 02 Now, please excuse me while my wife shapes my pubes. You would've looked at me like an-
9:09 H. Foley? I don't do that in the mall.
9:11 Speaker 02 Not anymore.
9:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, I said, "Hey, where'd you get that coffee?"
9:16 H. Foley? Man, what'd he say?
9:17 Speaker 02 That way. I said, "Okay, great." In the mall, I ain't never been to. I don't know if you've been to one, eh, you know, you drop me in the Oxford Valley Mall, the Shammany Mall, get your coffee, dude, it's sweet. You drop me in these weird fucking North Jersey malls, or, eh, the Palisades, I don't know nothing.
9:30 H. Foley? I'm surprised you did something like that. Talk to a stranger like that.
9:34 Speaker 02 I'm a-
9:35 H. Foley? That's not your MO.
9:36 Speaker 02 I'm a 38-year-old business owner.
9:37 H. Foley? That's not your MO.
9:39 Speaker 02 What?
9:40 H. Foley? "Hey, where'd you get that?"
9:41 Speaker 02 I didn't throw him up against the wall, fucking turn him around and start batting him down.
9:45 H. Foley? Hey, tough guy, we got latte, huh?
9:47 Speaker 02 Hey, you wanna do this the hard way or the easy? What are you talking? I said, "Hey man, where'd you get that coffee?"
9:50 H. Foley? Hey, what about this? You like that?
9:52 Speaker 02 Uh-huh.
9:53 H. Foley? Huh.
9:53 Speaker 02 Yeah. But I think it's tr- I think-
9:56 H. Foley? I would've told you to fuck off. I'm a tough guy, though.
9:59 Speaker 02 Is that what you are? Yeah, tough guy? Now, you can excuse me, do you mind tying my shoe for me?
10:04 H. Foley? Then I'm gonna kick your ass.
10:08 H. Foley? Ah, God.
10:09 Speaker 02 Man.
10:10 H. Foley? Yeah. That made me think of, I can't remember what it was, I might've told you this, but, I dropped something on the street and I was bending over to pick it up and it was taking me a minute. And this old lady walked by, she's like, "I wouldn't be able to get that either." Fucking old bitch.
10:24 Speaker 02 Why don't you mind your fucking business? Otherwise, I'll give you a dirt nap.
10:30 H. Foley? What happened? I slump ya, huh?
10:34 H. Foley? Brutal. Which, that's getting better. My flexibility's getting better, my bend down's getting better. It's good. Be attractive and no tan.
10:44 Speaker 02 The hot one.
10:47 H. Foley? The good-looking one. What does that make you?
10:51 Speaker 02 Yikes. What? When...
10:55 Speaker 02 Uh, I mean, you are, you do have, uh...
10:58 H. Foley? If we wanna get into scripted things and stuff like that, I gotta, gotta, gotta get somebody good-looking.
11:04 H. Foley? Pull this thing off. Something for the poster. Something for the kids.
11:08 Speaker 02 Alright, so maybe we'll have a movie drop in, what, 2098? What the fuck are you talking about?
11:14 Speaker 02 You, first of all, dude, you have no teeth. Listen, I'm not sitting here saying I'm Brad Pitt. I'm not comparing, I'm just saying, if you wanna be the hot one, I got two tree critiques. You got a lot of skin tags.
11:26 H. Foley? Kids see them.
11:26 Speaker 02 Ben Affleck don't have, I ain't gonna do shirtless sex scenes, huh? You'd be tagged, all tagged up, look at a goddamn railroad car.
11:32 H. Foley? Yeah.
11:32 Speaker 02 Okay, you got a lot of skin tags.
11:34 H. Foley? I'm gonna get 'em scraped off.
11:35 Speaker 02 And listen out there, I'm not saying I am the attractive one, I'm just saying...
11:40 H. Foley? I told you to let me get the veneers, you weren't letting me get 'em.
11:43 Speaker 02 I didn't say you can, you can do whatever you want.
11:46 H. Foley? Choppers.
11:47 Speaker 02 Well, and you ain't got the cash to do it now.
11:51 Speaker 02 You got a gray beard. Bad teeth. Bad skin, like, it's like blotch, it's yellowy.
11:57 H. Foley? Is it? Yeah. So I get a little color, I'm alright. That's why I'm doing this, the thing at night, that's why I asked ya.
12:03 Speaker 02 The creams?
12:04 H. Foley? Whatever.
12:05 Speaker 02 What? Tallow. Beef tallow. Yeah, I bet it is.
12:09 H. Foley? Bone marrow.
12:11 Speaker 02 You're dabbing rye bread on your face and eating it.
12:16 H. Foley? My own charcuterie board.
12:17 Speaker 02 Sure. Yeah, I would love for you to be the, I would love for you to get hot. Get a, be, become hot.
12:24 H. Foley? Okay.
12:25 Speaker 02 I just lost confidence in that, okay? If we're being honest. I think you lost confidence, I lose... And I mean, we're screwed.
12:33 H. Foley? Yeah, screwed.
12:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, listen. We're not Hollywood guys. We're YouTube guys.
12:40 H. Foley? Hollywood, Florida.
12:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, there, I can go clean up down there. Get a tan, get a speedboat cigarette boat.
12:46 H. Foley? That's what we need.
12:47 Speaker 02 What?
12:48 H. Foley? Cigarette boat.
12:49 Speaker 02 I'd move, yeah, I'd move to Flor... We could go clean up in Florida.
12:53 H. Foley? You know what we'd be doing down there? Running a weight.
12:57 Speaker 02 Why?
12:58 H. Foley? I don't know. Make moves.
12:59 Speaker 02 Okay, yeah, sure.
13:01 H. Foley? Cocaine cowboys. That wouldn't catch us. He behind a cigarette boat.
13:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, there's another 400-pound guy in a cigarette boat wearing the shirt he wore in his wedding.
13:14 H. Foley? Aw, shit.
13:16 Speaker 02 Who can't bend down after he drops the keys.
13:18 H. Foley? I got the old lady for that.
13:20 Speaker 02 Sure.
13:21 H. Foley? All right.
13:22 Speaker 02 Listen, I want you to, I want you to become Hollywood. Start fucking, you know.
13:27 H. Foley? I told you, I started with the face shit. That's where you start. Start the face, work your way down.
13:34 Speaker 02 What? I mean, you also started with beefs, so it's like...
13:38 H. Foley? Beef?
13:38 Speaker 02 Beef.
13:39 H. Foley? Beef?
13:40 Speaker 02 You said you used beef tallow.
13:41 H. Foley? That's good for you.
13:42 Speaker 02 Sure, it's...
13:43 H. Foley? Google that.
13:43 Speaker 02 I, listen, I...
13:44 H. Foley? That's what they're all doing now.
13:45 Speaker 02 I know what it is, but you're going, I think you might just, you know, use and put it near your lips.
13:50 H. Foley? I started pulling, too.
13:52 Speaker 02 Oil, pulling, pulling oils.
13:54 H. Foley? Yeah. And, no, pulling.
13:56 Speaker 02 That stuff don't work.
13:58 H. Foley? Soaking.
13:59 Speaker 02 Shout out to soaking. What do you mean, uh?
14:02 H. Foley? All right, that's what the, that's what the college kids are doing, right?
14:05 Speaker 02 Not college, Mormons.
14:06 H. Foley? Mormons?
14:07 Speaker 02 That's how at BU they ask those questions. And you're too old to be looking at those videos.
14:11 H. Foley? I saw it on Instagram the other day. You have to have somebody else to sit there with you. To move the bed.
14:17 Speaker 02 Sure.
14:20 Speaker 02 Just fuck. What are you doing here?
14:22 H. Foley? I'd be good at that. Get me in there.
14:24 Speaker 02 And go to bed without brushing your teeth. Listen to me, kids. Uh, alright, but all that's either here nor there, you know what I mean?
14:30 H. Foley? That's what I said. It's goddamn family epis- a family program, we're talking about this filth.
14:34 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
14:35 H. Foley? I asked you what your nightly, uh, nighttime routine was. You start talking about dirty shit.
14:40 Speaker 02 That wasn't me, that was you.
14:42 H. Foley? No.
14:43 Speaker 02 Yeah.
14:43 H. Foley? It's not what the-
14:45 Speaker 02 Read the meeting minutes back.
14:46 H. Foley? Meeting minutes?
14:47 Speaker 02 I don't know how we got there.
14:48 H. Foley? Let's go.
14:49 Speaker 02 Uh, alright, this one's from the De- the Deals, uh, $10 homie. Ever seen your dad cry? I've only seen it three times. One, at his mother's funeral, rest in peace Granny C. Two, our dog dying, rest in peace Buddy. And three, when we watched the movie Armageddon.
15:08 H. Foley? No, if you're not crying at the end of Armageddon-
15:10 Speaker 02 That's like The Notebook for dads, dude. That is a-
15:14 H. Foley? That kills me at the end.
15:16 Speaker 02 That one, that affected me.
15:18 H. Foley? Oh!
15:19 Speaker 02 He's trying to get bad, the whole, he's gotta come down and talk to the, the ho- uh, Steven Tyler's daughter.
15:25 H. Foley? Yeah, oh, the, you know what gets me? Is, I mean, obviously, when Bruce Willis goes like this. And he just accepts it, he just, he, the flash hits him. But fucking Ben Affleck banging on that window.
15:39 H. Foley? He was great. Liv Tyler was great. But the, the, the, the guy, um, the guy who the wife wouldn't tell the kid that it was his dad. Remember? He was the gambler, he had the curly hair. He was the coach in, um, Remember the Titans.
15:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:53 H. Foley? Yeah, when he gets back down there. That's your daddy, and, man.
16:00 H. Foley? Killed me.
16:01 Speaker 02 I was hit the same way with Con Air. That, but I know that's-
16:05 H. Foley? Con Air makes you cry?
16:06 Speaker 02 Not, he's trying to get that teddy bear home to his dog. That guy had a bad rap.
16:09 H. Foley? That teddy bear's all fucked up at the end.
16:11 Speaker 02 Oh yeah, he saved it-
16:12 H. Foley? Plus he's got Cyrus the Virus all over it. Dave Buscemi's brains are all over that thing.
16:18 Speaker 02 Dave Chappelle's brains. Dave Chappelle gets it.
16:20 H. Foley? He does die, yeah. He dies early.
16:22 Speaker 02 Gets up in a wheels.
16:23 H. Foley? Gets thrown out, right? He falls.
16:25 Speaker 02 He freezes. They found him frozen and then throw him. They write a note on him or something to throw. They did him dirty if you ask me. Greatest comedian of all time, throw him out a goddamn window.
16:33 H. Foley? Yeah. Um. Um.
16:36 Speaker 02 That doesn't get me, but I mean, I remember being like emotionally, I was like, fuck, what year did Con Air come out?
16:42 Speaker 03 97 or something like that.
16:44 Speaker 02 That's early. Had to be earlier.
16:45 H. Foley? 93.
16:46 Speaker 02 94, yeah.
16:47 H. Foley? 93, 94, maybe 90.
16:48 Speaker 03 97.
16:49 Speaker 02 Damn.
16:50 H. Foley? Get the fuck outta here.
16:51 Speaker 02 What? How? What did it do in the box office? That killed it.
16:55 Speaker 03 224 million.
16:56 Speaker 02 224 million?
16:58 H. Foley? Back then, that's like 8 billion.
17:00 Speaker 03 Box office 224, budget was 75 million.
17:03 H. Foley? That's not bad.
17:04 Speaker 02 That's.
17:04 H. Foley? That's a nice return for the studio.
17:06 Speaker 02 What's that have on, uh, Rotten Tomatoes?
17:09 Speaker 03 58.
17:10 H. Foley? They don't fucking, that's bought and sold, that rotten tomato.
17:13 Speaker 03 Google users is 84.
17:14 H. Foley? Yeah, it is.
17:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, there you go. It's mostly me. Kevin 1, Kevin 2.
17:18 H. Foley? Um, Kip, Simpler Hair Color.
17:20 Speaker 02 Woo.
17:21 H. Foley? I'm getting rid of my grays.
17:22 Speaker 02 Ah, you've been saying that for a while and.
17:24 H. Foley? I'm going hot pink, baby. Let's have a little fun with this, with Simpler Hair Color.
17:29 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
17:29 H. Foley? Gang, it's official. I see grays every time I look in the mirror. I wanna cover them up, but home hair dye kits are for the birds.
17:36 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
17:36 H. Foley? It's a mess and you go to the salon. I mean, forget about it.
17:39 Speaker 02 They bang you out.
17:40 H. Foley? They bang you out over there.
17:41 Speaker 02 You gotta be tipping.
17:42 H. Foley? I gotta sit there for 3 hours. I gotta hear what this one's doing and that one's doing. Gang, if you wanna color your hair, Simpler Hair Color is the way to go.
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18:14 H. Foley? Woo.
18:14 Speaker 02 Plus, 1 can of Simpler Hair Color provides as many uses up to 4 boxes of drugstore hair dye.
18:20 H. Foley? There you go.
18:20 Speaker 02 You're saving money, daddy-o.
18:21 H. Foley? You're doing the beard.
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18:45 H. Foley? Kim, let's talk about Bombas.
18:46 Speaker 02 Shout out to Bombas, dog.
18:48 H. Foley? The best socks that you're ever gonna wear. And here's the turkey. We got them for all occasions. Athletic, you got a wedding coming up this spring. You never have nice socks.
18:57 Speaker 02 No.
18:57 H. Foley? You know what I mean? That's always the, you got a nice wedding coming up, or you got a funeral, something like that, or a graduation, and you're like, ah shit, I forgot about socks. And you're using some old pair of socks in the back of your drawer. Get your Bombas, baby.
19:10 Speaker 02 I know.
19:10 H. Foley? Get ready to rock and roll.
19:12 Speaker 02 Yeah. I caught, I caught, we did a Patreon episode. I had my tootsies out. I got, I got a lot of heat for having holes in my socks. My wife, my wife saw the comments, was quite upset. Ordered a bunch of Bombas, baby.
19:23 H. Foley? Should've smelled them.
19:23 Speaker 02 Uh, they got head to toe comfort. Uh, that goes, uh, you get spring socks, you get fresh white t-shirts, waterproof slides. I got a few pairs, buttery soft underwear, whatever you need, Bombas has you. Best of all, uh, for every comfy pair of socks you purchase, Bombas donates a comfy pair to someone facing homelessness. Uh, socks are like one of the most requested things in homeless shelters, and Bombas is helping out.
19:45 H. Foley? Look at that.
19:45 Speaker 02 Bombas is going international. Enjoy worldwide shipping to over 200 countries. God damn, take it over.
19:50 H. Foley? They're going international?
19:51 Speaker 02 Head over to Bombas.com slash AYG. Use the code AYG for 20% off your first purchase. That, that's Bombas, B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash AYG, code AYG. 20% off. Ain't nothing to shake a stick at. 20% off your first purchase. Bombas.com slash AYG, code AYG, do it.
20:06 H. Foley? Yes. My dad, my dad was on the low and emotional guy. Like, I would see him tear up watching stuff. But he, you know, he's like, yeah, something in my eye or whatever.
20:17 Speaker 02 I don't think I've ever seen my dad cry. Um, seen him hit a man.
20:24 H. Foley? Me? Uh, yeah. Definitely the natural got him, for sure. I remember the natural getting him. When his dad died, I remember him being sad, but not, I don't remember seeing him cry. I know, we had a, we had a, uh, a sudden, sit your death in the family that everybody got it. That was the first time I saw everybody cry. And I was too young for it. It fucking freaked me out.
20:53 Speaker 02 Seemed to bounce back from it.
20:54 H. Foley? Wasn't no Michael Bay movie. Yikes. But that's when Bay hit it. That's when the little flares and all that stuff were perfect.
21:02 Speaker 02 What are we talking about?
21:03 H. Foley? Armageddon.
21:04 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
21:05 H. Foley? Yeah. It did that good.
21:08 Speaker 02 You went in the big circle and came back there, nine of your family members died, and you brought it back to fucking the get in. Shout out to it. I didn't know where we were. He's like, and then he died, she died, quick one, and you gotta go, little kid died, I died, what are you talking about? It's like reading a goddamn obituary with you. Is it garbage if you can smell that somebody smokes inside their house from outside their house?
21:32 H. Foley? That's heaterville. Holy shit.
21:35 Speaker 02 That's pretty good. We have that in our apartment. The guy on our first floor, he's one of the supers. He, that's an indoor cig house. Not all day. He goes out like, but I think morning to night.
21:48 H. Foley? He's ripping heaters.
21:48 Speaker 02 Especially in the cold.
21:49 H. Foley? And what, you could smell it walking in the?
21:51 Speaker 02 Oh, you open the door, boom.
21:53 H. Foley? Wow.
21:53 Speaker 02 There's also someone below me or somewhere. I can't, I can't peg it.
21:57 H. Foley? I like it a little bit.
21:58 Speaker 02 They're cranking heaters and you walk into one corner of the living room and you're like, ooh.
22:03 H. Foley? I don't mind it. That, I tell you what, I don't know if it's like a Pavlovian thing, is that the right word?
22:09 Speaker 02 I, you need to continue on the definition.
22:12 H. Foley? Smelling a little bit of weed is comforting. Cause somebody smokes weed in our building and they, they do it in the bathroom and they blow it in the vent.
22:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's just so like.
22:24 H. Foley? Yeah, I kinda like it. It mixes in with the air freshener and all that stuff. Makes it cozy in there. I don't know why.
22:29 Speaker 02 It just reminds me of-
22:30 H. Foley? I'm about that lifestyle. You don't smoke, you smoke the chronic.
22:33 Speaker 02 Sure. I forgot I was talking to fucking Dr. Dre over here in exhibit.
22:37 H. Foley? I smoke bags, dog.
22:39 Speaker 02 And then immediately freak out. I shouldn't have done that. Why did-
22:42 H. Foley? Yeah, when I fucking get his shit.
22:44 Speaker 02 Uh.
22:47 Speaker 02 No, it reminds me of every shitty house I've ever lived in and it makes me sad.
22:51 H. Foley? I'll give you that.
22:51 Speaker 02 I'm just like, ah, there's a guy smoking a blunt on the couch right now. And I'm like, I don't... That I'm sleeping on.
22:57 H. Foley? Yeah, that smell I didn't like. That burnt blunt smell at the weed dealer's place.
23:02 Speaker 02 Sure.
23:03 H. Foley? Bad couch, bad TVs on.
23:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's what it reminds me of like...
23:07 H. Foley? Hanging out.
23:08 Speaker 02 Someone finding a couch in the... That someone's like being thrown out and I'm spending too much time on it. You know what I mean? Sweating and it's making the back of my legs itch. This is a very specific couch I'm talking about.
23:20 H. Foley? I know exactly what you're talking about.
23:21 Speaker 02 Um, alright, this one's from Smashing Blumpkins.
23:25 H. Foley? Very nice.
23:26 Speaker 02 This just says, "My buddy says supper instead of dinner."
23:29 H. Foley? We've talked about this.
23:30 Speaker 02 "He also holds his utensils with a clenched fish." Like the Angry Arthur meme.
23:35 H. Foley? That's how he eats supper.
23:36 Speaker 02 That's... That's like... There's no... There's no elegance. There's no refineness. That's like manual labor.
23:46 H. Foley? Yeah. We've talked about this a little bit, because I asked you about this not that long, about dinner and supper. Supper and somebody hit me up about this.
23:53 Speaker 02 That was very divisive, if I do recall.
23:55 H. Foley? Yes.
23:56 Speaker 02 Some were saying you were wrong, some were saying you were right. I don't know.
24:00 H. Foley? My understanding of it is Sunday supper is technically lunchtime. That's how they did it in the old days, is that the big meal of the day on Sunday would be around 2 or 3 o'clock. Right? What do you have on that? History of supper?
24:19 Speaker 03 Supper is typically described as a lighter, more informal meal eaten at home, while dinner often implies a larger, more formal meal.
24:26 H. Foley? Hmm. That's not the Dirtbag Dictionary.
24:29 Speaker 02 Check Urban Dictionary.
24:31 H. Foley? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's trash. Calling it supper's trash, for sure.
24:36 Speaker 03 Dinner's sometimes the midday meal and supper being the evening meal?
24:39 H. Foley? No shit!
24:40 Speaker 02 I think that's where you were wrong, people were saying.
24:42 H. Foley? Okay. Huh.
24:45 H. Foley? Like a nice supper. Aunt Mary Catherine used to throw out a nice supper on Sunday. Little vegetable stew. Goddamn, that was good.
24:54 Speaker 02 Supper is the evening meal. Dinner doesn't refer to a specific time, yet it always remains the main meal of the day.
25:01 H. Foley? Supper always had plain white bread with soft butter.
25:06 H. Foley? Dipping it in your soup. That's delicious.
25:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, I don't know. I mean, we've never, uh, it's never been anything, uh, used for us.
25:14 Speaker 02 Uh, alright, this one's just funny. This is from Blimp and Grind. $10 homie never had one red. You've ever had to use someone else's spare tire? Dude, you are jammed the fuck up.
25:25 H. Foley? My mom did.
25:26 Speaker 02 Really?
25:27 H. Foley? Yeah.
25:28 Speaker 02 At that point, we'd always just go buy a used tire.
25:30 H. Foley? Nah, there was, there was, there was a run there where Patty was like a mechanic. We'd be going to junkyards to get... And I don't even, like, if you really went back, she didn't need to be doing this. I don't think. I could be wrong. But like, we would go to, she, if like a taillight went out, she would go to a junkyard and get the part and we would fucking... She would finagle it in there and put it in there.
25:53 Speaker 02 I would argue, this is when like...
25:58 Speaker 02 Things are way cheaper now and readily available.
26:02 H. Foley? Right.
26:02 Speaker 02 You didn't have to like, order it. Hey, the parts not coming in for five days. You got a whatever, whatever, and they shipping and handling.
26:08 H. Foley? I specifically remember going to like, like, well, Mike has a tire. We'll go and get that. And going to get the tire in the other car and throwing a tire into the back, into the trunk of a car. You just feel like a dirtbag.
26:22 Speaker 02 I've done that.
26:22 H. Foley? You got that dirt all over you.
26:24 Speaker 02 The soot.
26:25 H. Foley? Ooh.
26:26 Speaker 02 I've done that, been like, this is just gonna live in here for who not to, I'm never taking this out. At one point, I had a tree stump and a tire back there.
26:34 H. Foley? A tree stump?
26:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, we were making an end table or something, right when I started dating my wife. And this is like, not that long ago.
26:40 H. Foley? What?
26:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, I opened the trunk, Akash had to put something in there. And he's like, why do you have lumber and a tire? Or you, like, I like, it was like...
26:49 H. Foley? Wait, who was gonna make the end table?
26:51 Speaker 02 Uh, we had made one. So...
26:53 H. Foley? You and your wife?
26:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
26:55 H. Foley? Where's that now?
26:57 Speaker 02 Fire pit or something. We got rid of it when we moved some apartments.
27:01 H. Foley? Made an end table?
27:02 Speaker 02 She's, my wife likes making stuff.
27:05 H. Foley? Where'd you get the tree stump?
27:07 Speaker 02 My brother-in-law's house. I've never told you this story? So there was a thing with like, uh, we would take a tree stump. See if you can find, tree stump and table.
27:18 Speaker 03 Oh.
27:18 Speaker 02 Or nightstand or something.
27:19 Speaker 03 I thought you were playing stump.
27:20 Speaker 02 I don't know what that is.
27:22 Speaker 03 You have a hammer and you flip it and then you try, you have your own nail.
27:25 Speaker 02 What, me and my wife in a frat party?
27:27 Speaker 03 What the fuck? It's a drinking game.
27:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, no. Playing stump. Uh, that does look like a fun game though.
27:34 H. Foley? I see what you're talking about now.
27:35 Speaker 02 You like, you take like a big, like a tru- like a, uh, trunk, cut like a six inch or four inch slice off of it. It still has the bark. You coat it with something and then you put legs on it.
27:45 H. Foley? Yeah.
27:45 Speaker 02 And that was like our end table.
27:47 H. Foley? Put legs on it?
27:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, we put legs on it.
27:49 H. Foley? Where'd you get the legs?
27:51 Speaker 02 That's a good question. Ikea, probably?
27:53 H. Foley? Why wouldn't you just leave it, why wouldn't you just make the bottom smooth and have the stump?
27:58 Speaker 02 Hey guy, I don't fucking know. What do you mean? Why are you breaking my balls? This is six years ago.
28:02 H. Foley? I'm making my end table.
28:04 Speaker 02 What? Nobody, I, but I, I don't want to make your end. Yeah, it was a different take on the big chunk one. Also, I live, at the time I lived in a five floor walk up. I ain't walking up with a fucking, a three foot trunk, tree trunk.
28:16 Speaker 03 Saving 150.
28:18 Speaker 02 Is that what they go for?
28:19 Speaker 03 Bout, yeah, you get cheaper ones, but.
28:21 H. Foley? You should be selling them.
28:23 Speaker 02 Now you're on my side here.
28:24 H. Foley? Little bit.
28:25 Speaker 02 Uh, but I had a second one of those in the trunk still. We only made the one. We didn't have enough space for two. I only made the one and it lived in my, lived in the Montego trunk for four or five years.
28:35 H. Foley? There's vines growing out of it?
28:38 Speaker 02 There's a frog on it. I didn't take it out of my car until I sold my, until I turned my, my car in as a junker.
28:45 H. Foley? Probably good for the snow though.
28:47 Speaker 02 Whatever happened to that car? Uh, sure. Yeah.
28:51 H. Foley? My dad used to do that. I remember him putting like bags of Quickcrete in the trunk if it was snowing out.
28:57 Speaker 02 Yeah, for sure. You gotta, the weight, I, I was in my mom's bravata and I got a flat tire on the Newtown bypass. And I couldn't for the life of me find the spare tire. They were either, all the cars I ever had was like the trunk.
29:13 H. Foley? Under the carpet of the trunk?
29:14 Speaker 02 Wasn't there.
29:15 H. Foley? Where was it?
29:16 Speaker 02 It was in SUV. So I'm like, oh, it's in the back, like in the.
29:18 H. Foley? Was it underneath?
29:19 Speaker 02 It was underneath.
29:20 H. Foley? Oh, fuck that.
29:21 Speaker 02 I have, dude, I didn't know.
29:22 H. Foley? What, you in the army?
29:23 Speaker 02 I didn't know where it was. And I'm like, ma, you ain't got no fucking. You ain't got no spare tire. That's crazy. And it was under, you had to like, get under that. I laid on the side of the bypass. Fuck that. I remember I just got, I just went to Foot Locker and spent my whole paycheck on Nike, uh, no, uh, fucking Jordan shorts. Like, actual Jordan shorts. Cause I was used to get the bullshit Foot Locker brand and they suck. Were you wearing them? Yeah. You wore them out? Who wears shorts out of the store? It might have, I wasn't on my way home. It was probably like a day or two later. I had a pair of, a black and white basketball, dude, you couldn't tell me shit. Pockets and everything. Cause I used to use the Foot Locker brand and those things stunk.
30:06 Speaker 02 Dude, they, you roll in a pair, your and ones are very of that. They just stink. I got a couple of Dick's store brand. Yeah. And I had a brand new. Athletica? Yeah. I spent all of my money on those shorts, a pair of, uh, slides, like Nike slides, and new socks, cause we rocked socks with them back in the day. And man, I had to get off the, by the side. I fucked up all the clothes. I remember ripping the slides as I was crawling out from under the car. I was so pissed. I've done that. Can't have hot shit. I can never have hot shit. I'm not gonna be the hot guy. I can't dress right.
30:44 Speaker 02 Blowing out a. You're, you're our only hope. Blowing out a flip flop is a tough look, dude. Catching a flat tire. Ain't no spare for that. I remember one time one cracked. I think a pair of Adidas or something cracked and I tried super gluing it. That, that didn't hold for shit. Got your foot stuck in there? God. Stunk so bad. Um. I got a tire, I got a tire over at the house. My one family. They don't all fit. Like, they're not just interchangeable. Like, the rim, I guess the top, no, but everything's different. Right? Aren't donuts the same? I would argue. I don't know that. That's something, that's above, I don't even know whether that's above my pay grade. There is no tougher look than the donut.
31:28 Speaker 02 Sure. I was a big donut guy.
31:31 H. Foley? How long can you ride on a donut?
31:33 Speaker 03 All donuts are not the same.
31:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
31:35 H. Foley? No kidding. You ain't telling me.
31:37 Speaker 02 Couple of curlers. Um, yeah, I've, I've, I've always pushed it, you know, hey, you can do 50 miles at 50 miles or under 50 miles an hour. I, yeah, I just always, always.
31:49 H. Foley? Pedal to the metal.
31:50 Speaker 02 I've put air in a donut.
31:53 Speaker 02 Fill it up a little bit, a little dabble, dude. I'm riding, I can't ride on the rims on this guy.
31:57 H. Foley? Four donuts?
32:00 Speaker 02 Uh, all right, this one's just funny. This one, Tootie's Tummy Tuck. Is it garbage every time I see anything Dale Earnhardt related? I can't stop from saying myself, God needed a driver.
32:13 Speaker 02 Ah, that is some dirtbag shit. Um, all right. That's just great. This one, bit of a story. This is from Chad. Never had one read. I was traveling for work, leaving the Milwaukee Airport and flying back to Nashville, Tennessee.
32:28 H. Foley? Okay.
32:29 Speaker 02 In line at the TSA checkpoint and the lady in front of me had her carry-on bag inspected. When asked why it was so heavy, she said it's full of loose change and White Castles. She said she wasn't going to eat the White Castle at the airport because they don't have White Castle in her hometown and she was bringing them back for her husband and her kids. She said all the loose change was because she visited Milwaukee for a funeral and the deceased family member left her all the loose change. The bag was so heavy the TSA agent had to lift it with two hands.
33:01 H. Foley? That's a lot of burgers.
33:02 Speaker 02 That's a lot of change.
33:04 H. Foley? Damn, you got the loose cha-
33:06 Speaker 02 Why don't you go hit a coin store and get, turn it into bills?
33:09 H. Foley? How is it, could that be, is that how it is?
33:11 Speaker 02 What, they give you all the loose change? You figure they cut you a check or something? That's crazy, dude. Also, why would you-
33:19 H. Foley? And for Tina?
33:21 Speaker 02 Change.
33:22 H. Foley? Slamming on the counter. Had a lawyer, mention the lawyer. What kind of lawyer you got doing that, Will?
33:28 Speaker 02 All right, dude, at no point, listen, I've done a lot of bozo stuff. At no point would I ever be like, I'm gonna fly. Dude, imagine getting that in the overhead carry. You can't, that's, you gotta get that up over your head, tiny little girl, all them burgers and change.
33:42 H. Foley? I respect the bringing the, the White Castles back. That's nice. And those are okay.
33:46 Speaker 02 That feels like it should stay in like a school bag or a purse or so. That doesn't go in the luggage.
33:51 H. Foley? I agree.
33:52 Speaker 02 With the money? I guess it tastes like pennies.
33:56 Speaker 02 All them loose burgers and change.
33:57 H. Foley? Got a nickel in there.
33:58 Speaker 02 Uh.
34:00 H. Foley? But I don't mind that move, because you don't gotta heat them up. If it's a couple hours flight, you get back, you can have them, you know, hey.
34:06 Speaker 02 And you're gonna be the hot one. Eating burgers that been on a plane is crazy.
34:12 H. Foley? With pennies in them?
34:13 Speaker 02 You know, burgers to TSA. Um.
34:18 Speaker 02 At no point would I ever say, "Let's fly all this change home." I'd go like, "Okay, thank you, thank you, and I'm sorry for your..."
34:25 H. Foley? We're the trash can.
34:27 Speaker 02 Well, I mean, also, how much change is a suitcase full of change?
34:30 H. Foley? I don't know if it was heavy.
34:31 Speaker 02 Couple hundred bucks?
34:33 H. Foley? Ah, maybe more if it's quarters, dude. Could be looking at a couple of Gs.
34:37 Speaker 02 No.
34:38 H. Foley? Sure.
34:39 Speaker 03 If it's a checked bag.
34:41 Speaker 02 Checked bag's different. Now, this was...
34:42 H. Foley? No, you said he had to pick it up with two hands. So that's maybe 50 pounds worth of change. That's a lot of change. Pennies, you're fucked.
34:51 Speaker 02 Say what 50 pounds of loose change is?
34:53 H. Foley? Quarters.
34:54 Speaker 02 No, not quarter. You would've said quarters.
34:57 H. Foley? 50 cent piece.
34:58 Speaker 02 Gold bar.
35:01 Speaker 03 50 pounds of loose change would be worth 600 to 800 dollars.
35:05 H. Foley? That's not bad.
35:06 Speaker 02 Not a couple grand.
35:07 H. Foley? Well.
35:08 Speaker 02 Not well. You said it was not a couple grand. Also, go hit the Coinstar. It's already in the, just drag it, drag bag. Shout the drag bag right to it. Bada bing bada boom, you're donezo. Ah, yeah, no way would I fly with the change. Burgers, seb, burgers or whatever. I mean, that's crazy to me, too, but...
35:26 H. Foley? Now, if you'd hit it like, uh, you know, they don't have it in your hometown, you wouldn't love that? That's, you're gonna, that goes back to the Abe's Hot Dog things. My, my parents went up to Wilkes-Barre and they came home, they'd bring...
35:38 Speaker 02 That's different. That's a, that's a 90-minute drive.
35:42 H. Foley? Two-hour flight.
35:44 Speaker 02 Airport, I get the air train, a cab, rental car. Yeah, no, I mean, I see what you're saying. Listen.
35:51 H. Foley? Fries, that's ridiculous, I'll give you that, but the...
35:53 Speaker 02 Sodas aren't gonna be cold.
35:56 Speaker 02 Ice is gonna be melted.
36:01 H. Foley? Oak shakes are all mixed in.
36:02 Speaker 02 Uh, this one's from Matthew C. $10 bozo. Is it garbage and I have multiple condiments on my nightstand? I wish I could attach a photo. It's bad.
36:11 H. Foley? God damn it.
36:12 Speaker 02 I've, I have a very adverse reaction to this because for a minute, I slept near a Frank's Red Hot that was and Sriracha that was way too close to me.
36:21 H. Foley? That was on a coffee table, though.
36:23 Speaker 02 No.
36:24 H. Foley? Why would you have that?
36:24 Speaker 02 In my, in my college room in my apartment.
36:27 H. Foley? Okay, that's different. On the coffee table, we, we ask people, do you have any hot sauce on your coffee table? That's alright.
36:34 Speaker 02 Al, it should be in the kitchen. Anything that should live in the kitchen, should live in the kitchen.
36:37 H. Foley? In your bedroom?
36:39 Speaker 02 You don't know this is a setup. Maybe he lives with like three roommates and it's like, hey, it's just easier to keep there.
36:44 H. Foley? Yeah, crushes him in there.
36:45 Speaker 02 That was kinda my thing. It was like I was also doing a lot of eating in there. We had lost the, the middle to the mice. Flip's room was on one end, mine was on the other and
36:56 Speaker 02 the no man's land got a little hairy. We're doing a lot of eating, chicken, cheese, steak, some french fries in my room.
37:02 H. Foley? The kingdom had changed hands.
37:03 Speaker 02 Uh huh, and uh, I would keep it in there and I just like, I still saw smoking in there, been smoking in bed. A bed was like your couch, essentially.
37:13 H. Foley? A bottle of ketchup in there?
37:15 Speaker 02 Pro, yeah, I just remember being like, I just remember laying next to an, like a full ashtray and a, and a Frank's Red Hot or something and just being like, this ain't, I can't do this forever. I gotta make some changes.
37:28 H. Foley? This ain't it, dog.
37:29 Speaker 02 This ain't it. And I remember there was a, a change cup that had every piece of silver dug out of it. It's just like, it was a clear, it was a clear solo cup full of pennies.
37:40 H. Foley? Stuck pennies, pennies stuck together.
37:42 Speaker 02 Oh, man. Turning green, looked like they had toothpaste on them and stuff.
37:45 H. Foley? Let me tell you about Pretty Litter.
37:46 Speaker 02 Shout out to Pretty Litter.
37:48 H. Foley? Yeah, shout out to Pretty, you're not a kitty cat man. Uncle Hank, I'm a kitty cat man.
37:51 Speaker 02 I'm a dog man.
37:52 H. Foley? You're a dog man. We're talking about Pretty Litter for nice kitty cats. I know we got a lot of cat people out there. Listen, I'm telling you right now, look at me, shooting you straight, I've used all the different kinda litter. Alright?
38:05 Speaker 02 What do you, what do you prefer to be in, big guy?
38:08 H. Foley? When I'm taking a dump. Listen, Pretty Litter is the best. They became a, let me tell you my pretty little story. They became a sponsor. They sent us a bag.
38:17 Speaker 02 Sure.
38:17 H. Foley? I brought it home. I told the bird, "Hey, I got this new thing, Pretty Litter." She's like, "Oh, my God, Pretty Litter. I know about it. Get it in there." It lasts long. It's not heavy. If there's something going on with the cat, the crystals tell you. If the cat's got a urinary tract infection, the crystals are gonna turn color. That way you can say, "Hey, it's time to take the cat to the vet and see what's going on." It smells great. There's not a lot of dust. It's absolutely fantastic. It is now the only kitty litter that we use.
38:44 Speaker 02 The creme de la creme.
38:45 H. Foley? I'm buying it.
38:46 Speaker 02 You hear that? Pretty Litter, Pretty Litter helps, uh, keep the big man's house smelling fresh and clean. I've been over there. I didn't even know we had a cat.
38:54 H. Foley? Got 12.
38:56 Speaker 02 It's a goddamn pet shop in there. Try and you'll love it. Go to prettylitter.com/garbage. You save 20% off your first order and you get a free cat toy. That ain't too shabby. That's prettylitter.com/garbage. You save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. One more time, prettylitter.com/garbage. Terms and conditions apply. See the site for details.
39:14 H. Foley? Yeah, why do they do that? Turn green? It's like they're in the bottom of the ocean or something.
39:17 Speaker 02 I think it's patina.
39:18 H. Foley? Patina?
39:19 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:19 H. Foley? Who's that?
39:20 Speaker 02 Girl I went to school with. Patina is the Liberty Bell. That's patina. Or the Statue of Liberty, the Liberty Bell. It's green. That's copper. Copper's copper color.
39:31 H. Foley? Oh, that's what that would be? If you took some, if you took some brass out of the Statue of Liberty?
39:38 Speaker 02 Some CL, hit it with some CLR?
39:39 H. Foley? It would turn copper color?
39:41 Speaker 02 I mean, in theory, yeah.
39:43 H. Foley? No, actually, why don't they do that?
39:44 Speaker 02 I don't think you can.
39:46 H. Foley? Why not?
39:48 Speaker 02 What do I look like? I work at Kruger Smoothen Industrial Standing? I don't fucking know.
39:52 H. Foley? They should do that. That'd be nice. That'd be good for the city.
39:55 Speaker 02 Look into why they don't do it. They probably could never finish it. Before it started turning green again. The other side would turn green.
40:02 H. Foley? Oh, okay.
40:03 Speaker 02 First of all, I could be completely wrong. I'm guessing. Also, that's been on there for like fucking 300 years. I don't think you can take that off.
40:09 H. Foley? Sick coat.
40:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's on there. But it's not green. It's copper.
40:14 H. Foley? Underneath.
40:15 Speaker 02 Not under, I mean, that is copper.
40:17 H. Foley? The Statue of Liberty is made of copper. Is that what you're telling me?
40:20 Speaker 02 Luke, that's not what I'm telling you. Yeah.
40:22 H. Foley? It is.
40:22 Speaker 03 And the green patina actually protects the copper from further erosion. So, I guess I'll leave it.
40:29 H. Foley? All right, leave it. Call it off, boys.
40:32 Speaker 02 Kruger! You didn't know it was copper?
40:37 H. Foley? I didn't know what it was. Metal of some kind, steel. I didn't know it was ca- I didn't know. So you're telling me that when they built that?
40:43 Speaker 02 Stop saying like you're telling me, like I'm like.
40:46 H. Foley? When they, so when they built that, it was copper color. It looked like a big penny.
40:51 Speaker 02 I, I, I mean, I believe that-
40:52 H. Foley? For a couple of weeks until it rained or something.
40:55 Speaker 02 I mean, even still.
40:56 H. Foley? What do you mean even still?
40:57 Speaker 02 I think if you leave a piece of copper out and it rains, it doesn't immediately turn green like that.
41:01 H. Foley? So it took awhile?
41:02 Speaker 02 I always thought it was mint chocolate chip. Thank you, Scoop-a-That, Scoop of Freedom, baby.
41:08 H. Foley? I remember when Orbit had that, it was like fresh mint or something. It wa- it was like mint chocolate, or maybe it was mint chocolate chip. It was a mint chip gum for a little while.
41:18 Speaker 02 I got nothing.
41:19 H. Foley? It was hot.
41:20 Speaker 02 I was like, was that hot? Sounds gross.
41:24 H. Foley? Rocky road gum?
41:25 Speaker 02 What do you got?
41:26 Speaker 03 Took about thirty years.
41:28 H. Foley? Really?
41:28 Speaker 03 To go green.
41:30 H. Foley? Get the fuck out of here.
41:31 Speaker 02 Go birds.
41:33 H. Foley? Man, that's something I'd like to see.
41:34 Speaker 02 What do you mean?
41:35 H. Foley? I don't know, go back and see it in its original color. Be pretty cool.
41:39 Speaker 02 Dre, I could do that for you.
41:41 H. Foley? Yeah. It's all fake shit.
41:43 Speaker 02 What was the closest you've ever been to the Statue of Liberty?
41:50 Speaker 02 Houston Street?
41:51 H. Foley? I don't know. The Staten, Staten Island Ferry?
41:54 Speaker 02 Okay.
41:55 H. Foley? Yeah.
41:56 Speaker 02 Alright.
41:56 H. Foley? I ain't been over there.
41:57 Speaker 02 What's with the attitude?
41:57 H. Foley? Oh yeah, what, you worked there? What's the closest you've been, dickhead? I don't like this.
42:02 Speaker 02 What do you mean?
42:03 H. Foley? And I like mint gum. And it was hot, and it was hot when a chick had it and then that, and their breath smelled like mint chocolate chip a little bit.
42:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, turned you on, huh, fatty?
42:12 H. Foley? Yeah, it wasn't chocolate chip.
42:13 Speaker 02 And you wanna be the hot one.
42:14 H. Foley? It was like fresh mint or something, or mint chip. Or something. She was hot, though.
42:20 Speaker 02 I'm sure she was.
42:21 H. Foley? Fucking dickhead. Sitting here with this bullshit. Trying to do a goddamn show.
42:25 Speaker 02 Got a little patino on your brain.
42:26 H. Foley? I'm sorry, I think it'd be cool to see that in its original form.
42:28 Speaker 02 I never said it wasn't. I asked how close to the Statue of Liberty was, and for some reason, that offended you.
42:37 H. Foley? Oh, Jesus Christ.
42:40 Speaker 02 Are you done? I got Ryan texting me. Ryan, shut up! This text to me facts about the Statue of Liberty.
42:50 H. Foley? Alright.
42:51 Speaker 03 How many condiment bottles are too many, if you're living in that studio setup?
42:56 Speaker 02 I mean, studio, you still have a kitchen of some kind.
42:58 Speaker 03 It's true, but dorm, dorm-style setup.
43:01 H. Foley? Dorm's out the window.
43:02 Speaker 02 No, it shouldn't be next to the bed, though. Like, you at least go, you eat, and then... When you're living in tight quarters like that, you have to be on... It's like living in jail. You gotta be on top of it. You gotta go, okay, eat, and then I'll eat, I'll sit in my bed and eat, but then that stuff goes over there.
43:15 H. Foley? No, at dorm, the way you have it set up, you have the... You have your little kitchen area.
43:19 Speaker 02 Please tell me, guy who got thrown out of college?
43:21 H. Foley? Well, I was in the dorm for a couple of years. One year.
43:24 Speaker 02 Okay, there we go. Three months.
43:26 H. Foley? No, one year. I was in there for first year. You have your college, and you have your milk crates, and you put all your stuff over there in the area. You know, that next to the bed.
43:35 Speaker 02 That was the vague... Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
43:37 H. Foley? Yeah.
43:37 Speaker 02 I just said that. You said, "No, let me tell ya."
43:39 H. Foley? I thought you were saying...
43:40 Speaker 02 No, you can eat in your bed and have it next to you while you're doing that, but then, at the end of... When you're done, you...
43:46 H. Foley? Clean up and put it over there.
43:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, put everything back. That's big when you're living...
43:48 H. Foley? Chicks are coming in.
43:49 Speaker 02 Broads.
43:50 H. Foley? Sure. Get that hot sauce in your eyes, dude.
43:53 Speaker 02 That kid that used my computer. Who we saw, by the way.
43:56 H. Foley? Got the Eagles game.
43:57 Speaker 02 Uh, alright, let's see, um...
44:02 Speaker 02 This is from Jaren. "Damn near day one, homie. Shout out to ya."
44:06 H. Foley? There we go.
44:06 Speaker 02 "Never had one red. You ever get dessert with McDonald's breakfast? We call it the Fat Boy Speedball."
44:16 H. Foley? What are we talking about here?
44:17 Speaker 02 I don't know what kinda... You would do... I don't... Listen.
44:22 H. Foley? The way I would do it, if you wanna know.
44:25 Speaker 02 Do they... I have just a general question. What kinda desserts are they serving at that time?
44:29 H. Foley? They have pastries in the morning.
44:31 Speaker 02 Don't say "pastries" like it's a French fucking...
44:35 H. Foley? They have cinnamon rolls, maybe an apple fritter. You might be able to get the pies then, too. The apple pies, or the confetti pies, or birthday pies. And they're starting to dabble into the, uh... They're taking a cue from Popeyes. Popeyes has the fruit and cream pies.
44:51 Speaker 02 Cream pies?
44:52 H. Foley? It'll be strawberry and like a Philadelphia cream cheese line. They're delicious.
44:59 H. Foley? But what I would consider dessert there would be, in the morning...
45:02 Speaker 02 A Whopper.
45:05 H. Foley? Is the McGriddles. I, there would always be a McGriddle, whatever I got, there would be a sausage, egg and cheese McGriddle for afterwards. That would be dessert.
45:17 Speaker 02 It's gonna make me sick.
45:19 H. Foley? Hey, your question.
45:20 Speaker 02 No, it wasn't. Hot cakes are pretty big.
45:24 H. Foley? Yeah. That's not dessert, though. That McGriddle cake is, it's got the cinnamon shit, maple whatever running through it. They should just sell those.
45:35 Speaker 02 Alright, hey, hey, we were just talking about trying to get into Hollywood.
45:38 H. Foley? That's old, you brought it up, that's old stuff, that's the old me, I don't do that.
45:41 Speaker 02 Sure. Um, let's see here, this was-
45:45 H. Foley? Unless you guys wanna get some.
45:46 Speaker 02 This one's new to me, and I like a nice scam. This is from KJ Peterman. Jammed up tip.
45:54 Speaker 02 If you get a check, you can take a picture on the app, which will free $200 for you. Like, say you get a check for a thousand bucks.
46:03 H. Foley? Yeah.
46:04 Speaker 02 Most banks will free on the good credit of-
46:07 H. Foley? When you put it, when you deposit it into your thing.
46:10 Speaker 02 Say you deposit it at night.
46:11 H. Foley? Yes.
46:11 Speaker 02 And, you know, there's-
46:12 H. Foley? $200 is available immediately, the rest is available the next 24 hours.
46:17 Speaker 02 Or 40, whatever. But if, say Friday night, that might not hit till Tuesday morning.
46:22 H. Foley? Right.
46:23 Speaker 02 Right? So, you get a check, you can take a picture with the app and deposit it, which will give you $200.
46:28 H. Foley? Okay.
46:29 Speaker 02 Then you can go to an ATM and they'll give you another $200 till the check clears.
46:34 H. Foley? Yeah, that's, I think, check fraud.
46:37 Speaker 02 Huh. I didn't say that. I don't know why this guy's fucking throwing shade.
46:41 H. Foley? Double dipping.
46:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, I didn't, I forgot. I didn't think it went through on my phone. There you go, I'm out. I'm a free man.
46:48 H. Foley? Just come Monday.
46:50 Speaker 02 Don't just go, oh, this is double deposited. But you got your, you got 400 beans. I don't think that's illegal.
46:57 H. Foley? The check can cover it. As long as the check can cover what you-
47:03 Speaker 02 As long as you don't say it's a thousand dollars, as long as you don't spend those two thousand dollars. You just spend the four hundred.
47:08 H. Foley? Sure.
47:08 Speaker 02 Wake up in the morning, wash your hands, still six hundred bucks.
47:11 H. Foley? Taking it, hey, I double deposited this by accident.
47:15 Speaker 02 That's something I would save for when you're really in a jam and not just use it or to it, because you probably only get one or two of them a year till they fuck you up, till they go, well, listen, we're not fucking idiots over here.
47:26 H. Foley? I remember like when I first started doing that stuff, how generous they were with the, like how, like, the first couple of times you could really overdraft and then they'd slam you.
47:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, I remember doing, having like, you know, like twenty something over, I just got fucked. And I called and complained, they're like, we'll take three away. And I remember like the despair. My account was like negative fifteen hundred or something like that.
47:54 Speaker 02 And I remember like thinking, she's like, okay, I just talked to my manager. I'm like, whoo, here we go, get me back to zero. Yeah, you're at neg, you know, we'll, we'll clear three of the fifteen. I'm still, I'm still, you know, sitting negative fucking seven hundred and eighty-eight dollars or something, fucking jamoke.
48:13 H. Foley? All red text everywhere.
48:15 Speaker 02 I'm standing on Fifty-Ninth and Park, just like, fuck, cranking heaters. Couldn't get lunch, I had no cash on me.
48:24 H. Foley? I need a check.
48:25 Speaker 02 I remember I found a ten dollar bill, whoo, dried when I, it was nuts. I was going into like a fucking multi, multi-million dollar law firm. I like couldn't eat lunch. I'd hit up Denise, she'd be good for maybe twenty, probably twenty bucks, you might as well give me a handgun if I can kill myself.
48:46 H. Foley? You're doing shooters at coffee creamers?
48:49 Speaker 02 Well, we did have like some stuff stocked in the kitchen.
48:52 H. Foley? Yeah, you did.
48:53 Speaker 02 Not food, maybe a couple of nuts or something like that. They were for high rolling clients that would come and got the cashews. I like drink a lot of orange juice. They had orange juice and milk in there and I would crush that stuff.
49:10 Speaker 02 I remember somebody, that's a lot of ju-
49:12 H. Foley? Eating sugar pack?
49:14 Speaker 02 I'm all fucking charged up.
49:17 H. Foley? Fucking blood sugars through the roof.
49:20 Speaker 02 I'm, I'm chain smoking outside, my teeth are chattering.
49:28 H. Foley? That's a lot of money. He never got sick though.
49:31 Speaker 02 Haven't called out.
49:34 Speaker 02 Oh, man.
49:36 H. Foley? I like that. That seems borderline.
49:39 Speaker 02 Hey, no, no, no, you can't get in through your mistake. Hey, I mean, I didn't think it went through on my phone. It wasn't registered and they can't prove that.
49:47 H. Foley? Took the 200 out though. I thought that was in there.
49:49 Speaker 02 I thought it cleared. I didn't know.
49:52 Speaker 02 I thought I had $200 more than that.
49:53 H. Foley? Just put it to the test.
49:54 Speaker 02 No.
49:55 H. Foley? Write me a check.
49:56 Speaker 02 I don't have a checkbook.
49:58 H. Foley? We don't? What kind of operation you running here?
50:01 Speaker 02 What?
50:01 H. Foley? We don't have a company checkbook?
50:02 Speaker 02 I don't have one. Do you? I don't have one. I think we might have. No.
50:08 H. Foley? You don't have one of those big books where you write checks? With the things in there?
50:12 Speaker 02 Who would I be writing checks to?
50:13 H. Foley? I don't know.
50:14 Speaker 02 Well, yeah, just... No.
50:17 H. Foley? Pizza guy?
50:18 Speaker 02 I have our articles over in corporations somewhere. I think that one's got thrown out recently. We gotta get somebody on top of it.
50:26 H. Foley? Mine and the masthead?
50:27 Speaker 02 You're listed somewhere. We did this where I lied to you and said you weren't, but you're listed somewhere.
50:32 H. Foley? Nice.
50:33 Speaker 02 I think it's a 99-1 split we gotta go.
50:39 H. Foley? Checks are all in my name.
50:42 Speaker 02 Uh, alright, this is from Helia. How classy or trashy it is to roll the corn on the cob right onto the communal stick of butter? This is how my family did it growing up. My boyfriend was horrified when I invited him over for dinner.
50:54 H. Foley? No, fuck that guy. That's the way to do it.
50:56 Speaker 02 I think you would have it's your own stick for the corn on the cob.
51:01 H. Foley? No. What? Everybody's got a stick of butter? This is my house?
51:05 Speaker 02 Why are you so competitive? No, relax. Anytime food or all purpose flour comes up, you get all fucking defensive. You have a stick just for the corn on the cob.
51:15 H. Foley? Yes.
51:15 Speaker 02 Not for like, hey, with crumbs in it from the fucking biscuits and stuff.
51:19 H. Foley? I apologize.
51:21 Speaker 02 Jesus, why don't you go get a fucking McGriddle and settle the fuck down? Cause you're not gonna be hot.
51:27 H. Foley? No, of course. Yeah, okay, so you make the corn on the cob. Which always came out later.
51:32 Speaker 02 Thanks. You go to the farm. Yeah, no shit you make it.
51:36 H. Foley? Which was always, my mom never timed that out right. The corn, I was already done. And then she's like, "The corn on the cob's ready." That was always like after you had your regular meal.
51:46 Speaker 02 Kinda see that.
51:47 H. Foley? You know what I'm saying?
51:48 Speaker 02 Maybe.
51:49 H. Foley? It's your boiling water, you dumb broad. Get it fucking, get the timing right.
51:53 Speaker 02 There you go. You really love your mother, huh?
51:54 H. Foley? I love Patty, I love you.
51:56 Speaker 02 You dumb bitch.
51:58 H. Foley? But it was always a couple minutes after.
51:59 Speaker 02 They got a lot going on, cooking for your fam, everybody, you know.
52:03 H. Foley? I heard what you were saying.
52:06 Speaker 02 Your hot ass.
52:07 H. Foley? I picked up what you were laying down. It was always a couple minutes later.
52:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, they got a lot going on. They got the beans, they got the biscuits, they got the more beans. You guys love your beans.
52:16 H. Foley? We do, we love our baked beans at the Foley household.
52:18 Speaker 02 Um...
52:19 H. Foley? She always doctors them up, too.
52:20 Speaker 02 I see what you're saying. I think it's just like, you gotta figure that's, you know, I don't know, we only really did it bar, we only did it in some barbecue, I feel, mostly. We weren't doing like spaghetti and corn on the cob.
52:31 H. Foley? Crazy.
52:32 Speaker 02 So what else would you be going to stove?
52:35 H. Foley? What, what's go, what?
52:37 Speaker 02 In my eyes, there was more cooking, so you're like, "I gotta wait until this is done and then I..."
52:40 H. Foley? In the summer, on the weekends, when the family comes over, if Patty's having people, you know, the kids are swimming or whatever, I'll work the grill, you know, whatever, salmon or the steaks or chicken or whatever we're doing.
52:51 Speaker 02 Luke just audibly laughed at that.
52:53 H. Foley? Why? I work the grill, dickhead. You talking about? I'll do a salmon on the grill, you won't know what to do. And I do a little mayonnaise dill, uh...
53:01 Speaker 02 That's how to sex move. Salmon on the grill? Yeah, you gotta pay for that.
53:07 H. Foley? Reverse cowgirl. I do it nice. All right? They don't see me like that.
53:14 Speaker 02 Who?
53:15 H. Foley? My family.
53:16 Speaker 02 See you like what?
53:17 H. Foley? I like the joke he thinks I am.
53:19 Speaker 02 How did, okay, all right.
53:20 H. Foley? I've seen them.
53:21 Speaker 02 I've seen, I've seen them see you.
53:24 H. Foley? Well, when it comes to the grill, I get respect.
53:26 Speaker 02 Okay.
53:26 H. Foley? I do, none of them can cook salmon.
53:29 Speaker 02 No one in your family can cook salmon?
53:31 H. Foley? Nobody can cook salmon but me, I swear to God.
53:33 Speaker 02 I don't know, that doesn't make, I don't, listen, you say, I...
53:36 H. Foley? Cause they don't know the technique about the...
53:37 Speaker 02 How am I supposed to believe that?
53:39 H. Foley? I'm telling you the truth. And when the salmon's getting cooked...
53:42 Speaker 02 So you're the smart, you're the smartest guy in your family, is what you're trying to... I've met these people, they're learning people, they're not as dumb as you.
53:48 H. Foley? I cook the salmon.
53:49 Speaker 02 No, I'm not saying you don't. But I, you gotta say, I gotta push back when you say you're the only guy in your family can cook.
53:55 H. Foley? I'm the one that does it.
53:56 Speaker 02 What about that bald guy?
53:58 H. Foley? Johnny?
53:59 Speaker 02 Johnny can cook salmon.
54:00 H. Foley? Yeah, he cooks salmon.
54:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, okay, thank you.
54:02 H. Foley? He cooks a lot. He's a good baker.
54:05 Speaker 02 Guy can bake, if he can bake and bread, he can cook a fucking, anybody can cook salmon.
54:08 H. Foley? He comes at you with cookies and he does a great job. Yeah, he's good.
54:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, so he, I believe he could cook salmon.
54:15 H. Foley? Alright, fine. But I do the cooking, I cook the sa- because you're getting, we get the salmon or the steak going on the grill.
54:22 Speaker 02 And now there's steak too, you're the servant there? This guy's fucking nuts.
54:26 H. Foley? Whatever side she does, but then she has a big pot of boiling water and it's always feels like the meal's already done and then the corn's ready. We're always having the corn after.
54:38 Speaker 02 I, I understand that, that's not what it was.
54:40 H. Foley? So if you had a stick of butter.
54:42 Speaker 02 Are you taking crazy pills today?
54:43 H. Foley? Before anybody took it to bite of it.
54:45 Speaker 02 Hold on, I'm, I'm, I'm saying my theory is, I, this is my theory and I don't know, I'm asking. That there's only four burners on the stove.
54:52 H. Foley? Right.
54:52 Speaker 02 Maybe the corn isn't prioritized because you gotta get the beans and the fucking whatevers and the whatevers. That's what I'm saying, maybe is that the case? I'm asking what, what else she puts out. You then turn this into you being fucking chef boy R D. The only guy who knows how to cook, cook salmon, what are we talking about?
55:08 Speaker 02 What else is she serving from the, uh, stove? That's all I'm asking.
55:11 H. Foley? Beans.
55:14 Speaker 02 Okay, alright, this is my no way.
55:19 Speaker 02 There are four pots of beans?
55:22 H. Foley? I don't know, nothing.
55:23 Speaker 02 Right, so, okay, alright, so then she's stupid, she should have put it on at the same time, what the fuck, well, I'm trying to fucking figure this out.
55:29 H. Foley? It's a big pot of water, she never times it out right, how long it takes it to get boiling, I think is what it is, or she forgets.
55:35 Speaker 02 Okay, yeah, I, I understand with you.
55:41 H. Foley? Anyway, I respect that move, have a nice piece of butter.
55:44 Speaker 02 I agree, I think it should have its own piece, its own brand new stick of butter.
55:46 H. Foley? You can't bite it and go back in though.
55:49 Speaker 02 No, you gotta do, yeah, you, yeah, you undo it and then it, then it gets that little concaveness to it, a little, gets a little groove going.
55:58 H. Foley? As long as you're not, as long as you're not the first guy through the door.
56:00 Speaker 02 Also too, I saw a little bit better, which I kinda like, you can do it, you hold it long ways and can go like that with the short end.
56:10 H. Foley? Oh, what, like, wha- what?
56:12 Speaker 02 Like, you hold the stick of butter.
56:13 H. Foley? Oh, yeah, yeah.
56:14 Speaker 02 And then just do like-
56:14 H. Foley? Like, you're putting makeup on it.
56:16 Speaker 02 Okay.
56:17 H. Foley? Right?
56:17 Speaker 02 Sure. I was just-
56:19 H. Foley? Like, you're holding it like this, and you're going like that.
56:21 Speaker 02 You would just lay it down.
56:24 H. Foley? Oh, oh, I gotcha, I gotcha.
56:25 Speaker 02 And then you're holding the, you're holding the thing like a pencil, almost.
56:28 H. Foley? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
56:29 Speaker 02 And you're just going like that.
56:29 H. Foley? I gotcha. That's pretty-
56:30 Speaker 02 Man, we are off today.
56:33 Speaker 03 You freak.
56:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, like, you're putting makeup on it, huh? You're like, you're dating your corner. It's about to get shoved up your arse.
56:41 Speaker 03 Buffalo Bill over here.
56:43 Speaker 02 Oh, god.
56:49 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think that's completely nor- I mean, now this, I don't know-
56:51 H. Foley? Yeah, fuck this boyfriend.
56:52 Speaker 02 I, but this, I, who knows with this broad, this could have been like the, there could have been crumbs from the toast in it at breakfast, and then get like, I ain't fucking rubbing, I'd rather eat dry corn than eat fucking Pop-Pops crumbs.
57:03 H. Foley? Which isn't that bad.
57:04 Speaker 02 What?
57:04 H. Foley? Dry corn, just straight up.
57:06 Speaker 02 Sure, I'll give it to ya.
57:07 H. Foley? Yeah.
57:07 Speaker 02 But, yeah, I'm just, that might-
57:08 H. Foley? As a kid, forget about it.
57:11 Speaker 02 No. Um...
57:15 Speaker 02 My stepmom used to have to cut the corn off.
57:17 H. Foley? I, that, man, when my dad would do that-
57:19 Speaker 02 It made my skin crawl.
57:21 H. Foley? I love-
57:22 Speaker 03 I love it.
57:23 Speaker 02 No, it's what they do in mental institutions.
57:25 Speaker 03 I love it.
57:25 H. Foley? No, my dad would do that, and they do that now in nice joints, when they make like a cold salad, and they have like cold corn in there, and it has like, they look, they're like in little pieces, that's good eating, that's good, I love, my dad used to, I loved that. I remember when I got too old for him to do it, he's like, "Do it yourself."
57:44 Speaker 02 I was 29, I just failed out of school for the third-
57:47 H. Foley? It's just when they did it, it was so much better. Oh, so good.
57:51 Speaker 03 So much better.
57:51 H. Foley? So good.
57:52 Speaker 03 I love, a good chain of those?
57:53 H. Foley? Oh, a nice link.
57:55 Speaker 02 Woo-ee!
57:57 H. Foley? See, now we're on the same page.
58:00 Speaker 02 Um.
58:03 Speaker 02 Let's see, so Jay, did Garbs use polio string cheese on a chicken parm because you ran out of regular mozzarella? Ah, you know, you're doing it, you're getting the job done.
58:15 H. Foley? Were you a polio string cheese family?
58:17 Speaker 02 My brother, it would be my, not really, no.
58:21 H. Foley? That was, that was, when I was a kid, that was expensive.
58:25 Speaker 02 Yeah, that just-
58:25 H. Foley? We weren't getting that.
58:26 Speaker 02 We weren't that kinda-
58:28 H. Foley? I used to love it.
58:30 H. Foley? When my other friends had it, it was so buttery and good and just taking your time and then eventually-
58:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, we weren't, maybe it would like, if it was like real deep discount and about the, you know, about to expire or something-
58:45 H. Foley? Don't know if it's Swiss or Cheddar.
58:46 Speaker 02 She'd pick off a pack of it, but, I mean, we were mainly pound of American sliced thin.
58:51 H. Foley? Of course.
58:51 Speaker 02 Just, you know, dipping that.
58:53 H. Foley? Yeah.
58:54 Speaker 02 Man, I remember, I remember being sliced so thin, I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, it was like 7th grade.
58:59 H. Foley? Ah, you couldn't get it all, you couldn't break it apart?
59:01 Speaker 02 And I remember like having a full blow, I was so fat and so hungry. And like, oh, full blow, like, do you, because I was getting close and they were just coming off in little chips. Ah, and that ain't the same, you need the big slice.
59:13 H. Foley? That'll drive you crazy.
59:15 Speaker 02 Dude, I remember getting a fucking steak knife out and trying to fucking, trying to separate them.
59:21 H. Foley? That would happen with frozen burgers sometimes too, you couldn't get them in there.
59:25 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, but this was because if you're starting to fucking-
59:27 H. Foley? It's like making a watch.
59:29 Speaker 02 I came back from, I had a monocle, I came back, I came back from the gym, they were making me work out to try to lose weight or something and I-
59:37 H. Foley? Who wants the state?
59:40 Speaker 02 What?
59:41 H. Foley? Court ordered?
59:43 Speaker 02 Three to five, three to five minutes on the treadmill, fat ass. I was coming back from the gym, I don't think they were making me, but it was like, hey, it's coming back from a gym or something.
59:53 H. Foley? I bet you when Porky came back from the gym, he's hungry.
59:56 Speaker 02 I remember sweating, I just still had the shit, my, every, it was like that wet, kinda dried a little bit, it was cold.
1:00:03 H. Foley? That's the first thing you want, a little American cheese.
1:00:06 Speaker 02 A cheese sandwich with goldfish, I was like, I think I know what the pride, ain't the treadmill. It's the fucking, it's the carbobomb I'm about to do.
1:00:15 H. Foley? Protein shake or a Gatorade, ooh, you go straight for the Cooper Sharp.
1:00:20 Speaker 02 I'm a Lando Lakes American man sliced, but I remember being like, then the trick would be- You like, open up the middle of it. Like, if you can't get it off the edge.
1:00:31 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:00:32 Speaker 02 You then open up the middle, flip and go, "Maybe then that wasn't working and that's when I fucking..."
1:00:36 H. Foley? Freak out.
1:00:37 Speaker 02 I lost it.
1:00:38 H. Foley? I would always get in trouble too, if I couldn't do it and I'd put it back, it would look like birds got at it.
1:00:42 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
1:00:43 H. Foley? My, "What the hell happened to the cheese?"
1:00:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:00:46 H. Foley? It's all broken apart.
1:00:47 Speaker 02 I know, I don't know. It's hanging from my lip.
1:00:52 Speaker 02 Then I get yelled at for not properly wrapping it up. Wrapping it up.
1:00:57 H. Foley? What did you just say?
1:00:58 Speaker 02 I would get-
1:00:59 H. Foley? Properly wrapping-
1:01:00 Speaker 02 I don't know, I got cheese on the brim.
1:01:02 H. Foley? Of course.
1:01:03 Speaker 02 Well, like, sometimes-
1:01:04 H. Foley? Cause I'd rip it.
1:01:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, well, sometimes we'd operate in a thing where like, the sticker would come off.
1:01:09 H. Foley? And it would rip.
1:01:10 Speaker 02 And then other times I'd just go, "We're ripping, we got the seal, we're ripping, then we fold and you put it, you know, you put it down so it's stable." Like, "What are we doing here?" First of all, this pound of American cheese isn't gonna hang out that long.
1:01:20 H. Foley? But it's nice when you get to fold it back up and you put it back nice.
1:01:22 Speaker 02 I know.
1:01:23 H. Foley? It's like a, it's like a money holder.
1:01:24 Speaker 02 But yeah, I was never, uh-
1:01:26 H. Foley? Ah, would get screamed at for that.
1:01:28 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
1:01:28 H. Foley? "What have you done?"
1:01:29 Speaker 02 Uh, alright, let's see here, uh, we got a few more, um... This one's from John, uh, $10 contributor, still haven't had one read. "Is it garbage to accept stolen property as a birthday gift?" That's a bad look. "When I was a teenager, my younger brother and his s- My younger brother and sister stole a nice ass skateboard off someone's porch for my birthday." Dirtbag family.
1:01:54 H. Foley? Heart's in the right place, though.
1:01:55 Speaker 02 Cut to a few weeks later, I'm cruising down the sidewalk and some grown ass guy in a beat up Mustang yells out the window, "Hey, that's my skateboard." "This guy flipped a bitch and chased me for a few blocks, even went up a curb trying to run me over." "I ended up hopping a few fences and almost got mauled by a dog, but I got away." "I painted the board, swapped out the wheels and watched my back for a few months, but I never saw that guy again." I mean, that's like, dude, the levels of dirtbaggedness. I respect, I respect the brother for stealing it, not respect it, but it's like-
1:02:30 H. Foley? Ha, that was so well-written.
1:02:32 Speaker 02 That was great.
1:02:36 H. Foley? I painted the deck and swapped the trucks.
1:02:39 Speaker 02 My brother stole somebody's skateboard or found, I don't know. My brother ended up with a skateboard that wasn't his, let's just say that.
1:02:44 H. Foley? Oh shit.
1:02:45 Speaker 02 And, uh, I think it might have been a debt or something. Somebody owed him money and he took his skateboard, I don't know, something.
1:02:52 H. Foley? I got you.
1:02:53 Speaker 02 Something not on the up and up. And he painted it green with like paint that his buddy had. And it was drying and I, I came, I came home from wherever I was. There's a green.
1:03:04 H. Foley? Probably the gym.
1:03:06 Speaker 02 The cheese factory. I came home and it was leaning up against the wall, green. I went, we don't have a fucking green skateboard. So I went over and I grabbed it and the paint was still wet. So I go inside. And I was, "Where's your skateboard's at?" Or whatever. And he's like, "I, I just bought it." I'm like, "Well, why'd you paint it?" And he's like, "I don't know, no, like I know something's up." So he goes outside to look at it and my fingerprints are on it. And then he comes, he goes, "You fucking ruined my, you ruined my paint job." I go, "No, I didn't." He goes, "Let me see your hands." I had green paint all over my fingers too.
1:03:44 Speaker 02 Got me!
1:03:47 Speaker 02 And it was all over the cheese too.
1:03:51 Speaker 02 Uh, God, we gotta wrap it up though. What a good one.
1:03:54 H. Foley? What a fun one.
1:03:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:03:56 H. Foley? Gang, we love you to death.
1:03:57 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
1:03:58 H. Foley? Uh, grab some tickets for the shows in April.
1:04:00 Speaker 02 Yes.
1:04:01 H. Foley? Right? Uh, check out that Route 66 store if you haven't, like, uh, like we said. We appreciate our love and support for it and we love you and we'll see you next week.
1:04:09 Speaker 02 Peace!
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