Pod Insights My Brother, My Brother And Me MBMBaM 815: Pain Is Funny Leaving The Body About this episode Welcome to our master class! Today we're turning precious childhood memories into content and entering contract negotiations with a goose. Rest assured, any and all virtual succubi will be confiscated! I hope everyone brought their own clown nose or this will just be embarrassing.
Suggested talking points: They Uncancelled Honk Boy, I Am the Laughman, Handful of Loose Icing, What If You Can't Turn the Clown Off, Small German Ghost Bullying Someone Into Submission, Clockwork Pink
First Nations Development Institute: https://www.firstnations.org/
Transcript 10,622 words · 6 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?
1:10 Travis McElroy? Hello, everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your boy Travis McElroy, coming to you live from the studio. Big news. Yeah.
1:23 Griffin McElroy? I'm Griffin.
1:26 Travis McElroy? Go ahead.
1:27 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
1:28 Travis McElroy? I got some big news. We should change the order.
1:30 Griffin McElroy? We should fucking change the order.
1:32 Travis McElroy? It is weird because we build to Griffin. And that's always, I will say this, 10 out of 10 times anticlimactic. You know what I mean? It's like almost always a decline in the energy.
1:44 Griffin McElroy? I don't have bits. I don't have characters that give the people what they want. No questions asked.
1:48 Travis McElroy? This isn't a bit. It's big news about Trav Nation. Oh, wow. No, it's not about my custom umbrella line. That's coming September 2027. Keep your eyes out. Preorders open now. Bye. I've been invited to join a content house.
2:05 Griffin McElroy? Fuck yeah, dude. One of the big ones.
2:07 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man.
2:08 Griffin McElroy? Did you get fucking stink cruise?
2:10 Travis McElroy? I've been invited to join Purina Pro Plan slash Country Crock Presents Multimedia Mansion.
2:17 Griffin McElroy? I've heard of that one. Yeah, that one's that one stepped in some hot water sort of legally, ethically, news wise lately.
2:24 Travis McElroy? They cleaned house. It's an all new crew. It's me. It's Honkboy. It's Poki. It's Big Shoes. Ghostface 69. They uncancelled Honkboy?
2:35 Griffin McElroy? Let him finish.
2:36 Travis McElroy? It's gay.
2:37 Griffin McElroy? He's got five more.
2:39 Travis McElroy? Which ones did I already say? I said Honky. No, Honkboy, Poki, uh, Big Shoes, Ghostface 69.
2:47 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
2:48 Travis McElroy? Um, Hopster, all the big ones.
2:51 Griffin McElroy? That's only, okay, you'd only had.
2:53 Travis McElroy? Well, it's only five. Six rooms in the mansion.
2:56 Griffin McElroy? It was my understanding that Big Shoes died. I thought Big Shoes fucking died.
3:01 Travis McElroy? Well, this is a new Big Shoes. This one does exclusive unboxings of hats. Yeah, I'll say Travis, he has big shoes to fill.
3:12 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
3:14 Travis McElroy? Well, his dad died, Justin, so I'm glad. Dude, like.
3:19 Griffin McElroy? Glad you think that's so funny, dude.
3:20 Travis McElroy? Yeah, his dad died. Big Shoe Senior. It's not a laughing matter, man.
3:25 Griffin McElroy? His dad died trying to fit 300 Takis in his mouth at one time for content.
3:30 Travis McElroy? And he was a parrot, so that was not healthy for him.
3:34 Griffin McElroy? And it was the blue Takis too, so it burned him really bad.
3:38 Travis McElroy? Well, that's really. Big Shoe Senior, the parrot died, so now Big Shoe Junior, the parrot, has taken over the hat unboxings.
3:46 Griffin McElroy? That's interesting. So are they all tropical birds or?
3:51 Travis McElroy? No, that's fucking stupid. Poki is a hedgehog. Ghostface 69 is a Call of Duty streamer and also a Labrador. Um, Hopster is a rabbit, obviously. So is everybody an animal other than you or? I mean, Honkboy is a goose.
4:08 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
4:09 Travis McElroy? Are you the only one? That's not a tropical bird. This is a bird.
4:12 Griffin McElroy? They can live in the tropics.
4:13 Travis McElroy? Big shoes as a parrot.
4:14 Griffin McElroy? So.
4:15 Travis McElroy? But they're all content creators. All of them combined have like 60 million impressions across social media and streaming. So.
4:23 Griffin McElroy? And that's pretty good for a goose.
4:25 Travis McElroy? And it's gonna help my brand so much.
4:27 Griffin McElroy? Are you in charge of the, do you have to like take care of the animals or like?
4:30 Travis McElroy? We all have our responsibilities.
4:33 Griffin McElroy? What could a hedgehog's responsibilities possibly entail?
4:36 Travis McElroy? Patrol on the hedge? Yep. Hogging.
4:39 Griffin McElroy? Guess so.
4:40 Travis McElroy? Hogging it all.
4:40 Travis McElroy? Keeping the hedge safe. I am responsible for a lot of refilling things.
4:46 Griffin McElroy? Buying things, refilling things. Do you play Call of Duty for Ghostface 69? Cause I don't know how.
4:52 Travis McElroy? The idea, Griffin, that I would even touch his rig. Oh my God, would you, would you engage with another man's car?
5:00 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
5:01 Travis McElroy? Right? Would you steal a boat?
5:03 Griffin McElroy? So do Justin and I have to do that? We make all our content together. Are we part of the contract?
5:09 Travis McElroy? Are you gonna dial in or what's the deal? This will be a bit of a shift for my content. I think that we're, okay, can I just say this? I'm very excited because I've always wanted to be, whenever you watch the great YouTube family content that I think everybody enjoys and celebrates, it is completely unproblematic. There's always like a disinterested older brother who seems like he's headed to sports and that's, I feel like I would be so good at that role. Like, I'm not really like, sometimes you do the pranks on me and maybe like you'll paint my whole room blue, but I'm not like having to do any of this stuff.
5:46 Travis McElroy? Like maybe we'll play hide and seek in Camden Park like one time in a video, but like I'm mainly, it seems like I'm going to do something sporty. This is great. If you guys would keep these ideas coming, I'm contractually committed to produce 12 hours of content a day. And that's after editing. So.
6:07 Griffin McElroy? After, okay.
6:08 Travis McElroy? Yeah. So it usually ends up being about 18 hours of filming a day, but you know, it's just hanging out, you know, making content.
6:16 Griffin McElroy? It's just hanging with the bros. Yeah.
6:18 Travis McElroy? Um, for fun and Trav told us yesterday, it only has to be sound. There was about thirty minutes yesterday where Travis just made noises with his mouth. I mean, it wasn't even Yeah, I mean, it's content, you know? As long as twelve hours of it is usable and brandable.
6:34 Griffin McElroy? You've got that duolinger, duolinger partnership where Honkboy is trying to teach you goose language.
6:39 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
6:40 Griffin McElroy? Um, and that's pretty, and how's that going, Trav?
6:42 Travis McElroy? We actually had to edit that way down because I was
6:45 Griffin McElroy? In goose, please.
6:46 Travis McElroy? No, I, because I, my accent is apparently horribly offensive to the goose community.
6:52 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
6:52 Travis McElroy? And interestingly enough, to swans as well, there's a crossover in my accent.
6:57 Griffin McElroy? They're the same bird.
6:58 Travis McElroy? That's, oh my God, Griffin, please don't let Honkboy hear you say that. That's incredibly insensitive. We just had to do a whole sensitivity training on species.
7:09 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
7:09 Travis McElroy? Stuff. I actually was the only one required to attend, now that I'm thinking about it.
7:14 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I heard that you, you pretended to sit on the hedgehog one, whose name I forgot already, and you'd stand up holding your butt like, ouchie, ouchie.
7:22 Travis McElroy? Yeah, she didn't enjoy that.
7:24 Griffin McElroy? Number one thing that hedgehogs like fucking hate, man. They don't like when you pretend to poke your butt.
7:29 Travis McElroy? I saw TikTok. I just got, I just got, oh, I'm out of the house. Ah dang, Trav, I'm sorry.
7:35 Griffin McElroy? Is it because you're doing this right now and it's not?
7:38 Travis McElroy? I have other opportunity, I, I have, Trav, don't worry, I have a business plan for you that I hit upon this week, actually. Oh, okay, great. Yeah. Because I owe them a lot of money now. We're gonna get you out of it. I saw TikTok about how it was a little bit, watching the TikTok was bad because it's unnerving. They're basically the, the prompt of the TikTok or the basis of the TikTok was there are YouTube channels that are, uh, YouTube is activating this like auto uh, translating feature, right? So it was just like, auto translate these videos from other countries, auto translate them into English. The concern is that like in this world of, you know, a Mr. B style ramp up to like the most incendiary, the most whatever.
8:23 Travis McElroy? We will outsource our content creation to poorer countries, you know, less than other nations where uh, people might be exploited and then that will be translated into English, right? That's, uh, that was the unnerving subject of the TikTok. And then the worry would be that I basically like this gets outsourced to other countries. My question is was slightly different is that. Okay. How do we get that worked out the other way? Where we make. So we're get, no, we're like, yeah. So I feel like maybe we'd hit big. If we were getting auto translated into other countries. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, we have been maybe like English locked.
9:08 Travis McElroy? And maybe our real audience. Uh huh. Is a German speaking crowd or a Japanese speaking. They would get us like they get Hasselhoff kind of deal. Yes, exactly. Yes, trust. Yeah, we never charted here in America. But you put us like in Germany or Finland or something. Yes, yes, the technology is there now Travis for us to be a global. Think about how big Hasselhoff could have guided if he had AI on his side. Yeah, who better than Google's AI engine to take our twisted brand of comedy? Yeah. Repurpose it for the Venezuelan audience and just like give it, you know what I mean?
9:45 Griffin McElroy? Some cultural references here and there.
9:47 Travis McElroy? Yeah, you would need to not just translate word for word. There'd have to be like, I don't know how big like, uh, Morbius was, you know? So for the Morbius episode, they would have to choose like the Venezuelan equivalent of Morbius. I, I, when we translated, uh, uh, the Solvence book into Chinese. Uh, the translator reached out to me and said, I'm really struggling with this bit. Where you said, you feel like He-Man slamming a Capri Sun. We have Capri Sun, but we don't have He-Man.
10:18 Griffin McElroy? That's weird. That is not the one that I thought.
10:20 Travis McElroy? I know. So he says, is it sort of like monkey from Journey to the West? And I'm like, yep, okay. Yeah, just swap that. Yes, you will feel like monkey from Journey to the West slamming a Capri Sun. Hundred percent. You got it. Control F, Battle Cat. Right. Replace.
10:36 Griffin McElroy? Like Nimbus cloud.
10:37 Travis McElroy? When they said, is it like monkey from Journey to the West? Were you like, I should have made that the reference to begin with. That is better. Um, Justin, I thought you were gonna go a different way, which is instead of outsourcing it to countries where people would be taken advantage of and, uh, why not? Which we hate. Did I say that? We hate? We hate.
10:59 Griffin McElroy? We've been doing this for so long, man. I hope people just assume we hate that stuff.
11:02 Travis McElroy? Outsource it to us. So we'll make Mr. Beast's content and then they can auto translate it to like how Mr. Beast would say it, but we would make it-
11:13 Griffin McElroy? No one watches Mr. Beast anymore. Mr. Beast tried to give away a hundred Bugattis the other day and not, and not even a hundred people showed up.
11:20 Travis McElroy? No takers.
11:21 Griffin McElroy? No takers. People are so fucking-
11:23 Travis McElroy? He got stuck with fifty Bugattis, can't unload.
11:24 Griffin McElroy? Cause he had games and he hosted his games and he said, come play for a billion dollars. And then everyone left and like, we hated those games.
11:31 Travis McElroy? Well, he said the whole game going, don't you guys wanna be shitty to each other? And they're like, no, I would feel bad if I did that. And he's like, but for money, you wanna be shitty to each other. And it's like, wow, this is an interesting look into your world. I really enjoyed Beast showing up on Survivor because as a, a, a zillennial, I, I had a little swell of like, well, well, well, well, well, look who's on CBS. You know what I mean? Like, well, look who's not too cool to come on our dusty ass old reality show.
12:03 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, you weren't the only one like that, cause Jeff also shriveled up like one of the, the creatures from Ursula's Lair that made a bad deal with her. Welcome Beast. Please, a million more dollars. Thank you daddy. We love Beast.
12:19 Travis McElroy? Is it too much to call it the Beast Factor? I'm freaking out with how much Beast Effect is going on in Survivor right now.
12:25 Griffin McElroy? He's the king of YouTube.
12:30 Travis McElroy? But I felt like that too. I just watch it. So credit to Jeff. I mean-
12:34 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, he's right. I think all the money's in family-based content, not our age family, but like, what do we make?
12:40 Travis McElroy? Jeffrey, Jeffrey, still haven't seen a picture of you with the trophy, my man. Would love to catch a glimpse.
12:45 Griffin McElroy? Would love, yeah.
12:46 Travis McElroy? Would love to. No, it made it to HQ. We tracked it. We tracked it, Jeff. It's NHQ would love a glimpse. Use it as an immunity idol in an episode? Oh my god. We're not asking for much, just make it a fundamental prop. Yeah. Okay, if it could be like a game winning immunity idol that comes up in the finale episode, that would be. Yeah, it would be if you could show up and we'll, if you could be like, the McElroy brothers gave us $2 million to add to the prize pool. And we're not gonna do that though. We don't have it, Jeff. You have to. You would do it, but do it in our name? Yeah.
13:24 Griffin McElroy? It seems like all the, a hawk just like grabbed a bird right off my balcony, guys.
13:29 Travis McElroy? Are you kidding?
13:30 Griffin McElroy? Nature. No, dude, it was a huge big bird and it swooped in and it screeched a little bit and it grabbed another bird and it went where, nothing else we're gonna do today. That's the craziest shit I've ever seen. It was about six feet away from me.
13:41 Travis McElroy? Is there something in your life that you've needed guidance on? Like you have to be open to signs and importance. Like what, what? Or is there something that's been threatening you? The universe is trying to tell you.
13:51 Griffin McElroy? I think the hawk is now, the threat, the hawk now thinks that my house is a cool hangout spot to grab little birds.
13:57 Travis McElroy? You don't know what that little bird was planning, Griffin. That hawk just saved your life.
14:02 Griffin McElroy? True. Sky, sky con.
14:04 Travis McElroy? He was gonna assassinate you. That little bird was a spy.
14:08 Griffin McElroy? When I see how many V bucks these parents are giving their kids for hiding at a Dave and Buster's for two straight days, I think they must be making lots of fucking cash. And I think that's where the money is. I don't wanna make that kinda content with my own children. We could, the three of us do it and maybe it would be kinda the same where I'd be like, you guys didn't clean your room, so now you gotta drink this milkshake that I made out of fucking shit.
14:32 Travis McElroy? House with six kids that aren't our kids. Cause I don't wanna mess up my kids. I don't wanna mess up mine. I think family YouTube, it really takes advantage of children and it's, there's a lot of horrible stuff. So let's instead hire child actors, an industry that has never taken advantage of children, never been detrimental. Yes. And also, we wanna be so clear about this, cause I don't want anybody to be confused.
14:58 Travis McElroy? Family YouTube. Bad. Yeah. Family podcast. Good. Good. We like that. I've been taking advantage of Justin Griffin for years now to coast off of them. But we're grown. Look how happy they are. And our kids like it. And our kids sometimes a little bit, but they like.
15:18 Griffin McElroy? They do like it. I've gotten some positive feedback.
15:21 Travis McElroy? My kids are proud of me occasionally. Proud. So, yeah. That feels good. I've never made my kid hide in a Home Depot while they paint themselves orange. How's that? Right? You know what I mean? Occasionally a YouTube video will make my kids think that real happy families uh set up bouncy castles in their living room to sleep in for the night. And I had to explain to them that one, all the lights are on and they're filming it. So they're not sleeping in there.
15:49 Griffin McElroy? When we watch those videos where it's like, I turn my house into a trampoline park. I always, there's a bit where someone like jumps into a chandelier and breaks it. And everyone's like, ah, that's always where I pause it and I see, I said, that's exactly why. That's exactly why we don't have that. They're having fun. They're doing a good job. That's someone's chandelier. Someone worked hard on that.
16:08 Travis McElroy? Also, it's not, my kid, my kids watch so much YouTube that they think there's a non zero chance Mark Rober is gonna blow up their home with elephant toothpaste at any moment. You know what I mean? At any moment, Mark Rober could come in here and blow up this whole place with elephant toothpaste.
16:22 Griffin McElroy? It's Mark Rover, but I do love French, like, I'm Mark Rover.
16:26 Travis McElroy? No, no, no, it's not. No, no, no, listen, I've done a lot of his Crunch Labs. No, that's the evil version. I've done a lot of his Crunch Labs. It's Mark Rober.
16:34 Griffin McElroy? I don't think it's Mark Rober.
16:36 Travis McElroy? I do, I'm a Crunch Lab member, Griffin. It's Mark Rober. I've watched this show on Netflix. It's Mark Rober. I think it's Mark Robot. I think it's Mark Rober and. Are you children ready to build an oscilloscope? I'm Mark Rober. Mark. Do your parents have homeowners insurance? Mark, if you wanna send us a quick vid and let us know if it's Rober or I think you may wanna switch. Be your boy Jeff to the punch. Hey, how about some advice? Let's help.
17:04 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:05 Travis McElroy? I wanna help. I work in a nonprofit and per my contract, I have a stipend that I can spend on personal and professional development. I've used some of it to learn a new language. However, a company newsletter listed a few more options. One of which is a clown retreat where I can quote, learn about what clowning means to me. My job has nothing to do with clowning and my girlfriend definitely wouldn't approve. Is it irresponsible for me to go on a free clowning retreat for my own enjoyment on company dollars? Please help. Question two, if I did go, do you think it's assumed I would bring my own nose and clown makeup? And that's from clown.
17:43 Griffin McElroy? Well, now you're not taking it. Now you're not taking.
17:45 Travis McElroy? Now you're. Oh, what? That was the, that was the hinge of the question for me.
17:50 Griffin McElroy? The hinge of the question for me was, was.
17:52 Travis McElroy? Do I bring my own nose and makeup?
17:54 Griffin McElroy? You don't think they send an email ahead of time to let you know what kind of.
17:57 Travis McElroy? They tell you how many underwears to bring probably? If the classes find out what clowning means to you, it seems to me like the first like calling, the first like let's weed out. You know, is to see, does clowning mean to you? Bring your own nose, be prepared, or I will earn the nose and I will earn the makeup. If I have to figure out the right clown white to bring in where I'm not gonna get beat up by the big kids, I'm not gonna go. It's gotta be provided for me. Okay. I mean, I know. Right?
18:34 Griffin McElroy? Just nose is in shades. Yeah.
18:36 Travis McElroy? I have a degree in this stuff. Okay. This is my area of expertise.
18:40 Griffin McElroy? Right.
18:40 Travis McElroy? Clowning is an art that is not limited to the nose. A lot of people forget this, that I had a masterclass with Marcel Marceau.
18:50 Griffin McElroy? I never forget this.
18:51 Travis McElroy? A lot of people forget that Marcel Marceau came to Marshall University in the 2000s. Marcel University.
19:00 Travis McElroy? Marcel Marceau came to Marshall in the 2000s.
19:03 Griffin McElroy? With Mark Robert.
19:04 Travis McElroy? With Mark Robert while I was a student there and after and, and before or after he performed a show at the Keith Albee. He came to the Marshall University Theater Department and did a masterclass for us. And so I don't think, I think to say I've been trained by Marcel Marceau. Gives me some leg to stand on here and I can say clowning is so much more than a nose. It's an attitude. Wasn't he a mime? Mimes is clowns, dude. That's what I'm saying. Whoa.
19:32 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
19:33 Travis McElroy? Yeah, dude. It's all, it's all part of comedy, the art.
19:37 Travis McElroy? You know, Justin, I also had a masterclass at the University of Oklahoma from Larry Drake, AKA Dr. Giggles and the guy with the sash in that one episode of Firefly. Yeah. And he was asked if he prefers doing drama or comedy. And he said drama is like, oh, but comedy is like, hey, and I'll never forget that.
19:59 Griffin McElroy? Whoa, I think I just learned a lot by the transitive property.
20:02 Travis McElroy? Yeah, so.
20:03 Griffin McElroy? That's awesome.
20:04 Travis McElroy? Damn, that's good. Yeah. So I think I also know a lot about comedy.
20:09 Griffin McElroy? I think you're assuming a lot that you will be asked to apply clown makeup and a nose and do clown stuff because that does not sound like the concept of this, of this retreat. It sounds like you'll find, uh, do a deep soul searching to find what clowning means to you.
20:28 Travis McElroy? When someone introduces the word retreat into the formula for me, it does imply a level of getting in touch with myself in a way that I'm like, oh, no, thank you. If it was a clown class that lasted three days, uh, yeah, a hundred percent, a retreat.
20:48 Travis McElroy? I think that it could help you maybe, maybe the angle is like, find the vulnerability in yourself. Isn't that clowning? Isn't that clowning? You get down deep, you find the things that you're embarrassed of, then you just like, put them out, just beg people to laugh at them for your own humiliation. I think I've lost the plot a little bit.
21:06 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, you understand.
21:07 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Earlier on in the sentence, I think we could all remember the halcyon days.
21:11 Griffin McElroy? You had some great points in the first, like, two thirds of that sentence, absolutely.
21:15 Travis McElroy? Those were the days. I have a running analysis in my head of, um, handsome guy funny like stars, right? It's like, where they go into movies and it's like, I've been handsome for a while, but now I want to do funny movies.
21:31 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
21:32 Travis McElroy? And there are some who are so good at being like, I don't need to be cool. I think John Cena is great at this, where John Cena is willing to look stupid and be the butt of a joke in so many things.
21:43 Griffin McElroy? He'll tear his chest open and show you his heart and everything. Inside he's so vulnerable.
21:47 Travis McElroy? He has no problem looking like idiot. There are some other ones where even when they're supposed to look like an idiot, they're cool and it doesn't work. So I like, I do like, if I could go to a clown retreat that would teach me to finally just let.
22:00 Griffin McElroy? Stop being so handsome all the time.
22:01 Travis McElroy? Yeah, stop being so handsome and cool and just let myself be a bit of a fool from time to time. That might be very useful for me. I, what if you love it too much and you can't turn the clown off? Oh, maybe, is that what your girlfriends are afraid of?
22:17 Griffin McElroy? What if you can't turn the clown off? Maybe you find the clown and you awaken the clown and you're all of a sudden you're the disguise.
22:23 Travis McElroy? Yeah, like Bruce Wayne, the Batman, where he.
22:26 Griffin McElroy? He, he is Batman.
22:27 Travis McElroy? He is Batman.
22:28 Griffin McElroy? Batman for real.
22:29 Travis McElroy? I am Batman.
22:29 Griffin McElroy? When he was born.
22:30 Travis McElroy? I'm Batman. He was born Batman? And then when he was like 12, he made some money at a lemonade stand and he came inside with a suit and he's like, I'm go by, I'm go by Bruce now. That's not exactly what I meant, but yeah.
22:47 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
22:48 Travis McElroy? That's exactly what happened.
22:49 Griffin McElroy? His parents got killed in the alley. They were like, help us Batman. And he's like, I can't, I'm Bruce now.
22:53 Travis McElroy? I'm Bruce now.
22:54 Griffin McElroy? Bruce can't fight.
22:56 Travis McElroy? I wanted to take on an identity that would strike fear in the heart of no one.
23:01 Griffin McElroy? Murderer, will you spare my parents for this many dollars?
23:08 Travis McElroy? I do like the idea because the company put the option in the newsletter, but you take it and then they're like, oh, we didn't think.
23:16 Griffin McElroy? Test. Absolutely a test. Yeah. And it's not, clowning's not bad, but they don't, it's not useful for your job, as skill says, not part of your job.
23:25 Travis McElroy? There are plenty of, like, I know people who do corporate improv workshops and Shakespeare workshops and stuff. It's about getting in touch. It's the retreat aspect of it, that if you get there, here's the problem with a retreat. You get there day one, you've been there 10 minutes and the vibe is off for you and you're like, oh, this isn't what I signed up for. You can't leave. Yeah, you're in prison. You're in clown prison. You're stuck in a clown car with a bunch of other clowns, but you don't want to be a clown. You're just Dave. You know what I mean? It's Dave. You thought it would be funny to use this corporate money to go. Clown retreat, but then you're there. It is funny. I'll say this. No, it's funny. Of course it's funny. Yeah, I mean, it's funny. It's funny. In hindsight, you have to live through it. You have to experience it with your human body and mind.
24:10 Travis McElroy? And then after that, it will be funny, but you do have to endure the initial thing, I think. Pain is funny. Leaving the body. Why? I don't, I don't think your bosses want you to take the lessons of these retreats. Like in improv retreat or clowning retreat. Your bosses don't actually want you to bring that energy back to the office, right? If your boss is like, Justin, you did a bad job on your reports. And you looked at him and you're like, yes. And?
24:39 Travis McElroy? You know what I mean? He doesn't want that. He wants actually for you to just do a better job at your thing. He doesn't want you to reach up and go, oh, he wants you to do better at the reports. They want you to bring the energy of someone who got a clown retreat paid for them. And now they feel special. And they're gonna work a little harder. And they're working harder. Cause they got away with something. They don't want clown technique to come back into the office. They want clown, the clown energy, clown satisfaction. Clown mentality. Clown work ethic. There you go. Clown grind. What? Willingness to be humiliated. Come back as the Joker. Oh shit. Yeah. You don't get to choose on Pennywise. Oh no. Oh no.
25:24 Travis McElroy? It was the wrong retreat. Thanks for the retreat, boss. I'm gonna go eat a kid. No. Bad news, your HR director is Pennywise.
25:37 Travis McElroy? Over the past month, I've been going to physio for a shoulder and neck issue. During one of the first sessions, I was asked to use a grip strength tester where I pulled the highest LBs the clinic has ever seen.
25:52 Travis McElroy? Since then, some of the staff at the clinic have been calling me Mr. Grips, Grippy, Gripster. I'm not sure how I feel about the new names. Do I curb them or let them slide? And that's from Grip Strength Grip in Canada. Shouldn't they let you leave?
26:08 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. What are you doing?
26:09 Travis McElroy? If you're doing physical therapy and they're like, here's the grip machine and they're like, fuck, shouldn't you be in charge? Shouldn't they have to start gripping it? Once they passed the grip machine, they then handed him a big mallet and said, now hit this paddle. And if you can ring the bell, you get to go. And that's where it failed. You know what I mean? Do you think as a physical therapist, there's a moment where you get them to the point where they're like, probably as good as they used to be. But do you think sometimes you're like, damn, I think this guy's really got potential. Like I think if I keep physical therapying them, I think they could become a professional athlete. Like there is a, there's a ceiling here that I can get them back past. You know what I mean?
26:53 Travis McElroy? You can just keep, you never know when to stop the therapy. That's probably only like one in a hundred times, you know? It's probably pretty rare. I, I agree. Yeah, I agree. All I'm saying is that if I did a grip strength test, if I did any test at a place and they said I did the best anyone ever, that's going to become at least 20 to 30% of my personality from now on. Travis, that was maybe the least surprising sentence. I know. It's ever been uttered on the program. I could have written it with my blood. I mean, I, I, yeah, man. And then will it surprise you to know, Justin, when I found out, uh, two and a half years ago, the grip strength testers existed, I immediately bought one.
27:34 Griffin McElroy? He did. I remember that because you made us all do it and mine was bad. Mine was really, really bad.
27:39 Travis McElroy? Very good. Yeah. I have grit muscles built into my hands. You see those?
27:44 Griffin McElroy? Tall hands. Look at those grippers. God damn dude.
27:46 Travis McElroy? Muscles next to my thumb?
27:47 Griffin McElroy? That's crazy dude.
27:48 Travis McElroy? Griffin got 17 rubber bands, not even double looped, 17 rubber bands. That was his grip strength rating.
27:55 Griffin McElroy? Pretty good, I thought.
27:56 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
27:56 Griffin McElroy? It goes up to like 6,000, like Travis is doing like 6,000.
27:59 Travis McElroy? He's got like watermelon crushing power. Well, I'm out here because inevitably one of you will slip and slide off a cliff and I'll dive and catch you by the wrist and I want to be able to hold you because I love you.
28:10 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. But what if you're the one that falls off and we can't pull you up?
28:13 Travis McElroy? Why haven't you guys been working harder?
28:15 Griffin McElroy? We're like, you gotta let us go, Trav. You gotta let us go. You're too heavy. And you're like, I can't, man. My gripper is too powerful.
28:20 Travis McElroy? I have been dealing with this in my left hand because I've been recovering from, from carpal toe surgery. And I'm, I'm, you know, I'm a few months in now. And I am now starting to get to the point where like, is this as good as it was? Was it better than this? I don't remember it being better or worse. I don't remember how good it was before. So I'm kind of like trying to feel that out. Like, yeah, I think it could be a little bit more movie. Yeah, all right. This is every time I watch a show where they do some kind of like, we're doing a challenge, right? And it's like, we took our biometric measurements before and after. I, that's the part I most envy. The idea of I'm about to do something for a week and someone's going to tell me the measure of change of like, yeah, this improved, this went down.
29:02 Travis McElroy? And I could perfectly like, figure out a sequence of events where it's like, yeah, every week he's just getting stronger and stronger. Travis, I must have more data about Travis. There must be more I can know about myself. So many numbers are slipping away from me.
29:16 Griffin McElroy? I had the thought for the first time, like a couple of days ago, that people who like, go to the gym to lift weights to get stronger. They probably have a moment pretty frequently where they lift a new heaviest weight. And I had the thought of like, that's probably cool. That probably feels pretty cool. No, I can do 300 now. I don't know how, if that's good or bad, or like, what.
29:37 Travis McElroy? I mean, it depends on what exercise you're doing.
29:39 Griffin McElroy? If you're like, if you could do 300, you're nailing it.
29:41 Travis McElroy? A measurement, I would say also.
29:43 Griffin McElroy? But like, if you couldn't do 300 before, and then you practiced, and you worked hard, and you ate like a bunch of cod or whatever, and then the next day you could do 300, you'd probably be like, fucking stoked, because your score will not.
29:55 Travis McElroy? Griffin, I was thinking about something similar to that. If I, I was thinking about how if you were to practice at like, um, say chess, and then you played chess, and then you, your score at chess improved, um, you would probably have a positive.
30:13 Travis McElroy? Feeling you derive from that. I Or like if you started playing an instrument and like you found a really challenging piece of music that you weren't able to play. But then you practiced, you got better.
30:23 Griffin McElroy? I feel like you guys are making fun. You guys are talking in a tone that sounds like you're making fun of me.
30:27 Travis McElroy? No, Travis, that's a similar experience to what Griffin outlined.
30:31 Griffin McElroy? But like, of course, if you did chess and you got better at chess and your ELO went up, that'd be cool. And if you could play a musical piece, that would be cool. I'm talking about looking at big.
30:38 Travis McElroy? Or like if you started running and you kept track of the time, it took you to like run a mile. Yeah, and for you to be, or if you tried to cook a meal and you couldn't, and then you studied cooking for a year. And then at the end of that year, you cooked that same meal again.
30:52 Griffin McElroy? No, that's different. This is your body.
30:55 Travis McElroy? Or like if you didn't know how to read, right? So then you started learning to read and then you knew how to read. That would probably feel pretty good.
31:03 Griffin McElroy? You guys are making fun of me for fucking sure, dude.
31:06 Travis McElroy? I don't think so.
31:07 Griffin McElroy? I don't think I am. Trav, Trav, were you? Cause I wasn't, but maybe Trav was.
31:10 Travis McElroy? I don't think I was. I was just trying to back up Griffin's points with other salient examples.
31:15 Griffin McElroy? I don't know how much I can pick up. I don't know how much I can pick up. I know that if someone asks me to move a couch and they're gonna help, I can usually do it. But that's not, that doesn't translate to a number. If I had a number.
31:24 Travis McElroy? I disagree, Griffin, because I think you're picking up, and Trav are laying down really well.
31:30 Griffin McElroy? I just don't want to get squished.
31:31 Travis McElroy? Let's go to the money zone.
31:31 Griffin McElroy? I just don't want to get, I don't lift weights because I don't want to get squished.
31:38 Travis McElroy? Non-sexually.
31:49 Travis McElroy? Smalls is the best cat food I have ever purchased. And friends, I've bought them all, but my cats are wild for this stuff. I've got the timing down perfect. The smalls show up right when I need it. There is a, honestly, there is a bag of treats that comes with my smalls every time I get a shipment. And if I didn't have it, I couldn't get the cats out of the girls' bedroom at night. No, I've seen this work. It's incredible. I've seen it in action. It is like you have a remote control cat. It's crazy. Yeah. It's wild. It's because they go crazy for this food. They go, the same thing happens. When I tear up a package of Smalls, they go, they, they go wild for it. It's preservative free, human grade ingredients. It's, it's good natural stuff you find in your fridge.
32:31 Travis McElroy? Does it ever happen if you open a package that just sounds like a package of Smalls and they run in the room? And then they're really angry that it's not Smalls? Uh, yes, 100% of the time, Travis. In fact, you might say that if we open the fridge, sometimes the cat will leap onto Sydney's shoulder like some sort of demented furry parrot. Just trying to get some Smalls. They're wild for this stuff and your cats will be too. Stop serving your little-
32:53 Griffin McElroy? You're making it sound like a problem. I'll just say feedback on the ad. You're making it sound like your cats are like Smalls junkies.
33:00 Travis McElroy? They are. They are. They love Smalls.
33:03 Griffin McElroy? But in a good way. But in a good way. Okay. I'm saying it sounds like your cat has a problem too much.
33:09 Travis McElroy? My cat has a problem because it's mean. That's not Smalls's fault. It's a cruel creature. Do you understand? Like it's, it's not the emotions of the cat. Which one's your favorite?
33:20 Griffin McElroy? One of Justin's cats is famously meaner than your cat.
33:23 Travis McElroy? Sydney has two cats. I have a litter box. Stop serving your little carnivore a bowl of processed shortcuts. For a limited time, because you're a Bim Bam listener, get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life. When you head to smalls.com slash my brother. That's 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life. When you head to smalls.com slash my brother. I have Jasmine in my home and what I've learned about Jasmine is basically, uh, she's the type of cat that is just the world's clumsiest and least effective assassin. Where she'll see me going into a room, she'll run ahead of me, hide behind the couch,
34:03 Travis McElroy? and then dive out at me and boot my leg and then run back behind and I imagine laugh at her success. Just a funny kitty story for you guys.
34:12 Griffin McElroy? That was chilling, bud.
34:14 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man. You don't want to hear about my kitty?
34:16 Griffin McElroy? We don't usually tell funny kitty. We don't usually tell-
34:17 Travis McElroy? We just listened to a kitty story from Justin.
34:20 Griffin McElroy? Justin's was a paid kitty story.
34:21 Travis McElroy? And they had to pay me to tell a kitty story. You know what? They also didn't like this at the content house when I was telling them about my pets at home. And I think every time I use the word pets, they got really upset.
34:31 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, they don't even understand the idea. How can a man own a goose?
34:36 Travis McElroy? What is a man to a goose?
34:38 Griffin McElroy? What is a man to a goose?
34:42 Speaker 03 Pokemon, Insecure, Love Island, Paramore. What do all these things have in common? Black people love them. That's where Black People Love Paramore comes in. We're a pop culture podcast taking a funny look at the common and sometimes very uncommon things black people love. From asking why so many black kids were secretly emo to debating whether Beyonce is underrated. Hint, she is. We're getting into all the things that make us feel a little bit more seen. Get it? And yes, everybody's invited, no matter your niche, we have room for you. Listen to Black People Love Paramore on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get your podcasts.
35:25 Travis McElroy? Hello?
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35:29 Travis McElroy? No, I'm sorry, no sales calls, goodbye.
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35:36 Travis McElroy? I don't know what a Josie Long is, and anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old, she's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones, I don't want that to carry you home again, do I?
35:54 Speaker 04 Right, well, if you were looking for a podcast...
35:56 Travis McElroy? Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is musical theatre, not a Parisian bordello.
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36:04 Travis McElroy? I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother! Mother, not that hat!
36:14 Travis McElroy? Haunted doll watch. You know, there's a lot going on in the world of haunted items, and I just...
36:21 Griffin McElroy? Summer ween.
36:23 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I have, uh, five.
36:25 Griffin McElroy? My summer ween is really coming.
36:27 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's summer ween time. I have five I'm gonna share with you guys because, uh, they're all the worst, and I wanted to show them to you guys to see which ones you all think is the worst.
36:39 Griffin McElroy? Juice, are you still watching From? I heard they got haunted doll monsters now.
36:43 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man, they've got everything on From. And of course, I'm still watching From. I remember a time where Justin said, there apparently is a show that exists called From. I keep seeing clips from it and I have no goddamn idea what any of them mean.
36:57 Griffin McElroy? Hey Juice, this one sucks, man.
36:59 Travis McElroy? Oh, boy. Oh, yeah, these all, hey, this week, they all suck. Haunted Doll, Vessel Young, Sealy, Court, White, Light, Witch, Fae, Spirit.
37:09 Griffin McElroy? It's, it's giving Cola Scola Mary Todd a little bit, just, just like in the complexion, I guess.
37:17 Travis McElroy? Does she have just a handful of loose icing? What is that? So let's see here. That's a good, man, that's a really good, really good question. A lot of people don't have that level of. Oh, my. That is a unicorn brooch? It's the head of a unicorn and she's threatening that other unicorn with. It's the head of a unicorn. She's holding the head of a unicorn, I think, is what we're dealing with there. It's Pippi Longstockings. And she's coming into your world. Uh, Lydia is not a witch practicing white magic. She is white light magic in fae form. She's connected to happiness, purity, emotional healing, self-worth, emotional encouragement, and light abundance energy.
37:57 Travis McElroy? There's something about that that sounds like the head of a PTA board saying to a parent, the parent is like, I don't, I don't think you understand like Miller Elementary Spirit. And they're like, I don't understand Miller Elementary Spirit. I am Miller Elementary Spirit in human form. This girl was not fully ready for the human world yet. Not because she's weak. Because she is unbelievably innocent naive, which means she has not fully harnessed her authority. She does not naturally recognize manipulation yet. She assumes everyone is emotionally sincere. She believes everything will work out perfectly perfect because that's her nature. Must be nice. Isn't that true of every baby born though?
38:41 Griffin McElroy? That is a pretty much a baby experience.
38:43 Travis McElroy? Are there babies that come into the world jaded? Um, this is the next part that I, I can't stop thinking about. For the next three months, Lydia has had full reign of my home, my divination room, which I guess is not in the home, my spirit collection, which I guess she doesn't keep in the divination room. I got a lot of sheds. The rituals, which I guess is in yet another outbuilding. And then the pure communication work, which must happen at yet a tertiary location.
39:11 Griffin McElroy? It's more of a compound.
39:12 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's really, yeah, it's a, I got a bunch of buses that I buried underground and linked with tunnels.
39:18 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, this is my she shed and that's my sea shed where I see.
39:22 Travis McElroy? That's my D shed where the demons, she has approached all of it with emotional confidence of a glitter covered four year old with absolutely zero survival instincts. Then don't give her free rein.
39:33 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, that's.
39:34 Travis McElroy? I had one of those, a glitter covered four year old with no survival instincts. And I wasn't like, everything, let me open all the drawers and cabinets for you.
39:43 Griffin McElroy? I can't imagine setting my five year old loose in a divination room. No way, man.
39:48 Travis McElroy? Yeah, she even got this way. She tried to re rehabilitate a Lilith succubus. What? She, yeah, she calls them sparkle resets. She says, you breathe and shine. Yeah, she, this is what Lydia said to her Lilith succubus. Oh, girl, you got a lot going on. You never gonna get the right boyfriend with that look. You need positive affirmations and self-respect.
40:14 Travis McElroy? Meanwhile, this ancient seductive succubus energy and Lydia is talking to her like a tiny emotive, emotionally supportive pageant coach.
40:24 Travis McElroy? There's so much. So you guys think I'm just kind of like loosening it right now, but I'm going to scroll down a little bit. Just you can, I want to scroll past the sexy succubus.
40:31 Griffin McElroy? The fucking row of succubus thumbnails.
40:34 Travis McElroy? Oh, my God. This is the script of this person who has like outlined this, this, this exchange that this ghost had with the different ghosts she has living in her house. Wait, scroll back up because. Sure, Trav. Lydia is a toxic friend.
40:50 Griffin McElroy? Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
40:51 Travis McElroy? Like Lydia truly sees good in everything. Dark spirit, maybe he's just sad. Manipulation, maybe it was a misunderstanding. Chaos, maybe everybody just needs a hug. Hey, Lydia, I'm trying to complain about this guy and I just need you to validate my feelings.
41:09 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, please. Sparkle reset is also the most menacing.
41:13 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
41:13 Griffin McElroy? Brainwashing shit I've ever heard in my entire.
41:15 Travis McElroy? As I think of you, a clockwork orange, clockwork pink, you get a sparkle reset. She sees sadness, anger, bitter. And thinks, oh no, somebody forgot to be happy. And it's like, hey, Lydia, depression exists.
41:28 Griffin McElroy? Some of us are, we're working through some shit.
41:30 Travis McElroy? I'm giving you guys some extra ones to read here.
41:32 Griffin McElroy? She celebrates every tiny manifestation like they just won a spiritual Olympics. That's what they call, that's, that is what they called the church camp that I went to.
41:41 Travis McElroy? This is honestly, I, y'all, it, I can't. It keeps going.
41:47 Griffin McElroy? This is a whole pilot.
41:48 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's, it's a whole, she's got a season two arc. Yeah, it's a whole universe. So we're not going to deal with that anymore. One of the things I really like here, and listen, I wouldn't call myself an expert in fae mythology, but it did say that I'm a, a rarely seen young, seely court fae. There's no such like, they've been alive for like, they're eternal. I don't think they're a young fae anyways. By popular demand, we have another succubus summoned by my very spiritual friend who has experienced with conjuring and binding. And we curated this vessel especially for her. Reezy Rob brought this one to us.
42:27 Griffin McElroy? Nasty Dave brings you these ones.
42:30 Travis McElroy? I'm just realizing I didn't read the text of this one before I brought it. I just thought the picture was funny. You just like the picture so much? See the lights? I wanted to see how you guys react. And only Griffin gave me what I created.
42:38 Travis McElroy? We would have to blur this to post it on our Instagram, Justin.
42:42 Griffin McElroy? Even that would be.
42:43 Travis McElroy? It's just a doll, you pervert. Get your head out of gutter. It's not just a doll, Justin, because I would say there's some aftermarket additions.
42:49 Griffin McElroy? There's some mods, that some bio mods.
42:54 Travis McElroy? I haven't looked at the picture very closely, but hot she much.
42:57 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
42:57 Travis McElroy? Yeah, there are nipples. Someone drew nipples on it. Um, sorry. Uh, let's see here. We have, uh, is a lust, lustful succubus spirit. Hmm. Uh, if you feel a stirring and are drawn to her pictures, perhaps you're already.
43:11 Griffin McElroy? You're in jail now.
43:12 Travis McElroy? Go to jail. Perhaps you are already connecting with her and could fulfill her desires and fantasies. She will come to you in vivid dreams, but she can manifest as a shadow figure if she gains enough strength. And I'm sorry, I'm paying $205. Sorry, just to be clear.
43:30 Griffin McElroy? For this shadow figure?
43:33 Travis McElroy? For this? I'm paying $205? I also, once again, don't know much. About mythology, but I'm pretty sure the deal is that a succubus is looking for someone to fulfill their desires.
43:43 Griffin McElroy? Right.
43:44 Travis McElroy? I'm pretty sure that's not how the exchange.
43:46 Griffin McElroy? So that's, so this says not a toy. Her vessel's top is removable, revealing an anatomically correct chest underneath. She also has a see-through lace skirt with small white. I'm not gonna say that word underneath.
44:03 Travis McElroy? It also explicitly says this is not a toy. Then that line, and then per eBay policy, you're purchasing a tangible item, a toy.
44:13 Griffin McElroy? That was gross.
44:14 Travis McElroy? Let's see.
44:15 Griffin McElroy? Hey, the new Toy Story looks weird as fuck, by the way. See these stills? Oh.
44:20 Travis McElroy? Uh, oh, this is too bad. Yep, they finally got into us. They got haunted doll mystery box still. You don't know what a haunted thing you're gonna get with this eighty dollar treat.
44:32 Griffin McElroy? And look at that totally real hand drawn art display.
44:35 Travis McElroy? Yeah, totally.
44:37 Griffin McElroy? Definitely not artificially.
44:38 Travis McElroy? Yeah, step in the enchanting world of the supernatural with this haunted doll mystery box. Inside you'll find one haunted doll rumored to carry the presence of friendly, fun, wholesome, and positive spirits. We're outsourcing our hauntings to other countries that were importing them in bulk. This is terrible.
44:56 Griffin McElroy? So imagine being a haunted doll and being told like, yeah, you're, you're gonna be in a blind box.
45:03 Travis McElroy? What?
45:04 Griffin McElroy? What? Yeah, no one wanted you. When people knew you, they did not want you. The only way we can get you in their hands is to, is to sort of do you a gotcha style.
45:14 Travis McElroy? If you have enough haunted dolls to start a haunted doll blind box company, I don't think you get to throw the word rumored in there. Like, did you just buy dolls in bulk and you're like, one of these bad boys?
45:26 Griffin McElroy? You've lost context.
45:27 Travis McElroy? Are they, are they rumored or are you verifying every one of these guys is haunted as fuck? Some people say. I'm buying an eighty dollar box.
45:36 Griffin McElroy? I would not do this because this is definitely how they get rid of the dolls that are too haunted. Yeah. The dolls that are like, this one will make spikes come out of your fucking balls and it'll stab you in the head while you're asleep. This is a dark, dark, dark demon. And no one goes for that. They're gonna show up inside the blind box.
45:54 Travis McElroy? It's also irritating from somebody that just like, I'd like to maintain canon within Haunted Doll Watch. I like to maintain, you know, Kefabe. And I feel like every practitioner of these arts tell you how important it is to find the spirit that sort of works with you and like makes sense for you and not like fucking fired out of a T-shirt cannon, just whatever random. Think about this, even in a world where you believe these are haunted, what these people are saying is, we'll box up a random fucking soul and send it to your house. Like, you wouldn't do that with DoorDash, right? You wouldn't say like, hey, I need a friend. Will you come over and hang out with me? Fucking anybody in the world, doesn't matter.
46:36 Travis McElroy? And I wouldn't do that with, I'm hungry, just bring whatever food you find lying around. Yeah, whatever you're near, whatever restaurant is around.
46:45 Griffin McElroy? At this point, you're not an eBay vendor. I do think you qualify as a necromancer. Once you start sort of slinging around randomized haunted dolls in this manner.
46:55 Travis McElroy? Sad. Um, two quick ones, just this is a palate cleanser. We don't even have to talk about this haunted doll.
47:02 Griffin McElroy? Visible nipples on this palate cleanser, please?
47:04 Travis McElroy? No, I wanted to step you guys down. We're gonna go out in the chill out tent real quick with positive Leo or rambunctious prankster. See, I need like Leo.
47:12 Griffin McElroy? God damn, inflation has, has absolutely savaged the haunted doll market. This is 175 bucks.
47:20 Travis McElroy? You would think. They have 2,015 transactions, a hundred percent positive.
47:28 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, wow. They're throwing heat, man.
47:30 Travis McElroy? Leo is amazing. With his ability, I'm sorry, Leo is amazing. Did you read the title, Justin? The title's great. Thank you. Haunted doll, active spirit, positive Leo, rambunctious prankster.
47:43 Griffin McElroy? And you watch, listening at home, just sort of imagine, um, like a cats from Cat, like a human cat.
47:49 Travis McElroy? Skimble shanks type.
47:50 Griffin McElroy? Imagine a skimble shanks. But scary, like even scarier.
47:55 Travis McElroy? Rambunctious prankster does sound like a euphemism that a parent uses for their horrible child to try to get them into the fancy daycare in town.
48:03 Griffin McElroy? Uh huh.
48:04 Travis McElroy? Oh, he's, oh yeah, he's a rambunctious prankster.
48:08 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Timmy just pushed my kid in the river. Yeah, he's a, he is rambunctious like that.
48:14 Travis McElroy? This is good. I accept items that are considered seriously haunted. If it's haunted and it feels like it could be too dangerous for you or the people you love, contact me and we'll see about getting it out of your hands. No questions asked unless about the item itself.
48:29 Griffin McElroy? Well now.
48:30 Travis McElroy? Well, I mean.
48:31 Griffin McElroy? Huge question.
48:32 Travis McElroy? Some questions asked. So all questions, I mean, you say you won't ask a question that I cannot reasonably ration into some reason that it would be connected to the doll in any way.
48:43 Griffin McElroy? You guys want drugs? I got them. No questions asked, except for which drugs you like and want and whether I have them.
48:49 Travis McElroy? And how you'll be paying.
48:50 Griffin McElroy? And how you'll pay and what they do to your brain and body.
48:55 Travis McElroy? I won't ask questions about you. Yeah, about your personal life. I won't ask your address.
49:00 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
49:01 Travis McElroy? Uh, last one and you guys are gonna, you guys can do ape shit for this guy. I love this guy. I might get him myself. Honestly, I never, I never get these guys. I never do this.
49:12 Griffin McElroy? Oh, god damn. So we got, oh.
49:17 Travis McElroy? It's me, haunted German doll vessel child spirit Bennett, active mysterious loving boy. It does, I'm gonna say this, Justin, in an alternate universe. Tell me, what is it? In which Justin McRoy was born in Victorian England and maybe went through a scarlet fever or two. This is, that looks like two-year-old Justin McRoy. Yes, it's a beautiful boy and he has, has to come with my own entertainment. I have a copy of The Bear and the Fly, a story by Paula Winter and a picture of four of the oldest kids you've ever seen in your entire life. Why are those kids? How are these kids old? Forty. That's crazy. Forty old children and yes. Victor's lost at our retirement party from the business we started.
50:00 Travis McElroy? Look at this like photo cube that the car is sitting on like this is a fully staged production here. Uh, for Bennett and Bennett deserves. Take the picture, mother. I'm ready, mother. I found my light. Take the picture. My hair is perfect. Bennett, you want to know about Bennett? Of course. Yeah. A, uh, a little guy. He found this little guy back in 2015 in an antique shop in New Orleans. The antique shop owner told me he'd been sitting untouched for quite a while because people could not decide whether he looked sad, confused, or mildly offended by humanity. Personally. How are those mutually exclusive? Yeah. Yeah. Personally, I thought he looked like trouble and I like that. What you did?
50:44 Travis McElroy? Made me laugh because he was a bit judgy. The second I picked him up, I swear I heard the emotional equivalent of a sigh. Like he was looking at me thinking, ah, absolutely not. What is, what is wrong with you in your day to day that you pick up a doll and you think this doll thinks I suck? And, and I love that. And I like that. I love this. I will read me for filth. Read me for filth, Bennett. I'll make you love me. I love this boy. I took him home. I can fix him. I think Bennett would look great on your shelf. Besides, what is one more man in my life telling me what to do? Oof. Is that, does it say that?
51:29 Travis McElroy? It says that. I didn't write that. I wouldn't editorialize that. Uh, I noticed a name written beneath his wig when I got home. Shirley Navarre. Naturally, my first response was, ooh, creepy. I like that. All right, dude. Fucking, we get it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Well, it also tells me a lot that the first thing he did when you got home was take his wig off. Yeah.
51:51 Griffin McElroy? You gotta check it. You gotta check it for wig wig bugs, right?
51:54 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's true.
51:55 Griffin McElroy? You can't bring a new haunted doll into your vessel into your house and get wig bugs everywhere.
52:00 Travis McElroy? This person is the same person that writes these incredibly long screeds, but I did want to highlight this. Oh, boy. Okay. One image repeated during my sessions with him, a fountain, not a little golden fountain either. A massive decorative estate fountain filled with goldfish. He was reaching in and putting them in his pocket. I said, why would you do that? And Bennett intuitively said, the toilet is basically an indoor pond. If you stop being negative for five minutes, then after a very dramatic pause, he added, it was a scientific experiment and everyone overreacted. Apparently this is the sore spot. What was the experiment, Bennett? Pissing in the fountain.
52:43 Griffin McElroy? Piss in the fountain.
52:43 Travis McElroy? No, he flushed it. He flushed the fish down the toilet. It was a prank. You just didn't get it.
52:49 Griffin McElroy? It was a prank and an experiment and the fact that you don't understand it.
52:52 Travis McElroy? I was trying to start a family vlog channel and.
52:55 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, it was eighteen twenty-three. So like Bennett wouldn't even know what to do with.
52:59 Travis McElroy? Yeah, this continues for quite some time, actually, and it is just a long history of this small German ghost bullying this woman into submission. I don't blame her for wanting to get rid of Bennett. He seems like a real dingleberry.
53:15 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Wait, what's it say at the bottom? Oh, the entertainment purposes only.
53:19 Travis McElroy? Oh, no. Okay. I do. I guess legally you're right, Griffin. eBay rules. I need to inform you that this is for entertainment purposes only and you're buying a tangible item. I'm not responsible for the behaviors you may experience, but you can't say I didn't warn you. You should say that part before the other part. Like you should totally break the story at the end. Don't break it in the middle.
53:41 Griffin McElroy? For the eBay items, it's like, pay me a hundred dollars and I'll have a witch cast a spell that makes your dick bigger. What do they say at the bottom of those?
53:49 Travis McElroy? What you get is a little, what you do, you get a little scroll like in Wizard of Oz. You know, where he handed him the thing that said he had like a great brain or whatever. And it's just a tiny scroll that says like better dick. You know, it was like a little, it's like read this out loud, maybe or not. I don't know the exact mechanism of it. I've never had to order one. I just order a harem of virtual succubi that live in my home. I did see it scroll by quick there that Sher- Shirley Navarre was a previous doll owner that apparently Andy Style wrote her name on the boy's head on his wig.
54:30 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. What if that's how Andy had marked Woody? Woody just had a neck tattoo that said Andy on it.
54:37 Travis McElroy? And these are my nipples he drew on.
54:43 Travis McElroy? You are a toy. And these are my- You are a tangible item.
54:48 Griffin McElroy? Why don't they have one?
54:49 Travis McElroy? These are my anatomically correct nipples. They should have a haunted doll character in the movies where it's like, no, no, no, you don't understand. It's like, she comes to life, but she's like, I'm alive all the time. And the life that she has is different. It's from ours. It's not like ours, how like, we kind of sparkle with fun and joy. I hear you talking, Woody. You hear how she does that, partner? The way she sounds sometimes freaks me out.
55:17 Griffin McElroy? You hear, partner, how I'm usually talking about toy stuff, but he's over there talking about like, you have weird balls. Get them out. Let me see it like.
55:27 Travis McElroy? Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. It's called My Brother, My Brother, Me. Even after all these years, we stuck with it. Remember it. We got new merchandise for you. Uh, this is your last chance, actually. Your last crack at our May merch. Got Count Donut Cape Vault sticker by Nate Freberg. You can make any vault into a cape vault. And, uh, don't talk to me until I've had my podcast mug and an I like all butts and no government mug. Uh, with a digital cross stitch pattern of that as well. So a lot of great stuff in there. Also, I wanted to just give a shout out, let y'all know our dad is gonna be in 17. 76 at the Keith Alby coming up this summer. I'm sure we'll talk about it more, but like. He plays.
56:10 Travis McElroy? I don't know how you feel about America now, or even America then. But our dad's in it. Around by then.
56:16 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, who knows?
56:18 Travis McElroy? Who knows?
56:20 Griffin McElroy? Um, I want to say thanks to Montane, producer of theme song, My Life is Better With You. Um, just listened to that Montane ep of Off Menu. So delightful, so entertaining.
56:29 Travis McElroy? I have to say this important announcement, I'm so sorry. But Monday, June 1st at around 8:15, we're doing the brush ceremony. So if, yeah, so if you want to have your name read there, please head on over to maximumfun.org forward slash join any new supporters through 11:59 PM Eastern on May 31st. And you will have your name read into the brush that increases desire. Also worth noting, uh, we are moving Clubhouse back a week to accommodate Griffin traveling. Um, and we're having a guest on, our friend JD. So that'll be June 2nd, they were doing Clubhouse. This week, uh, is going to be a game stream with me and Justin. Perfect.
57:12 Travis McElroy? I have a Excedrin tension headache bottle that I could throw. It's got a couple of pills left, might make a good noise. That's a good sound.
57:18 Griffin McElroy? That's a good sound.
57:19 Travis McElroy? I got like 10 pins. Okay.
57:21 Griffin McElroy? I have like 10 markers.
57:23 Travis McElroy? Griffin's already got those in his hands, so I'd actually love him to throw all 10 of them.
57:27 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, it'll be a cool sound, I bet.
57:29 Travis McElroy? It'll be a good sound and a big mess for you to clean up after. I like that. Cause it won't be funny, cause William will be gone and he'll be doing it by himself.
57:36 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
57:37 Travis McElroy? Three, two, one.
57:41 Travis McElroy? Oh, that was good. It was like a firework. That was great. My name is Justin McElroy.
57:45 Griffin McElroy? I'm Griffin McElroy.
57:46 Travis McElroy? I'm Travis McElroy. This has been my brother, my brother. He kissed your dad square on the lips.
58:23 Speaker 05 Maximum Fun. A worker owned network. Of artist owned shows. Supported directly by you.
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