GUYS, IT’S MY MOM’S BIRTHDAY Ft. Sarah Doerner | Episode 190

Sarah Doerner (aka sarahcha) joins Drew on the show this week for another terrifying Spooky Season episode. Drew and Sarah talk about the Plowman’s Lunch, Sarah’s run as a National Shakespeare Competition semi-finalist, what to do when your roommate boils his pantaloons in your shared pot, getting girlbossed by the police, and so much more. Sarah IG: https://www.instagram.com/ssarah.cha/ Sarah Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sriracha.d Follow The Comment Section on IG! https://www.instagram.com/thecommentsection/ eBay is the place for pre-loved and vintage fashion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Network freedom and flexibility. That's what you want in a healthcare plan. With a Humana Medicare Advantage PPO plan, you can see any doctor in the country who accepts Medicare, including specialists. No referrals, no kidding. Learn more at gethumana.com. See any doctor who accepts Medicare and is willing to bill Humana. Humana PPOs may not be available in all areas. Benefits and costs share may vary. Humana is a Medicare Advantage PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  When you tell the time, like, tell me what the time is. Don't be like, oh, a quarter past blah, blah, blah. All of these British people are like, you fucking Americans. I'm like, I just want to know if it's 7:02 or not.

• 0:42Drew Afualo?

  Hey, shut up and tell me the real time.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  The moss grows on the north side of the tree. I'm like, tell me the time.

• 0:48Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, make me read a sundial, why don't you?

• 0:56Drew Afualo?

  Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Common Section Show. Welcome, you're, well, first of all, happy spooky season. Yay! Me not even acknowledging that my head is being shoved through a hole. Anyways, I'm so excited to spend spooky season with y'all and to welcome our very special guest. Please welcome the iconic, the hilarious, the ridiculously talented Sarah Doerner. Woo! AKA Sriracha.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 1:23Drew Afualo?

  Hi. I'm so glad you're dressed up like me.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  Thanks.

• 1:25Drew Afualo?

  Nobody ever wants to match my freak when they come on my homie.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

• 1:33Drew Afualo?

  This episode is presented to you by eBay. We all have that piece. You know, the one, the thing that's so you. You've basically become known for it. And if you don't have yours yet, you'll find it on eBay. Let me put you on, team. eBay is where you'll find those one-of-a-kind, can't-stop researching, stay-up-dreaming-about pieces again and again. I'm talking that Miu Miu off-the-runway red leather bomber, the Cousteau Barcelona top with the cowboy on it, or that Patagonia fleece in the 2017 colorway. All these finds are on eBay, and they even offer millions of main character pieces backed by authenticity guarantee. eBay is the place for pre-loved and vintage fashion. eBay, things people love. We both have our heads shoved through a hole.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:19Drew Afualo?

  And we're both happy to be here.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  This morning, I was scrunch, I was like, pulling it so my head could fit there.

• 2:25Drew Afualo?

  Being reborn.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  My little tiny head could fit through here.

• 2:27Drew Afualo?

  I know, and yours is so erect. I wish mine was. I had to shove cardboard up there to make her stand up straight. I'm so serious.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Oh, it's not just on its own?

• 2:35Drew Afualo?

  No, it was real flaccid when I didn't have the cardboard in there. I thought that was a little off putting to look at.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  That's okay. It's, there's no shame in needing a little boost.

• 2:43Drew Afualo?

  Right, right. We all need a little help. It's okay. I'm so excited to have you. Honored to have you. How's life been?

• 2:49Speaker 01

  Diva, good.

• 2:50Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I bet.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  I just put on new nails this morning, so we're feeling great.

• 2:54Drew Afualo?

  Feeling fresh, feeling cute?

• 2:55Speaker 01

  Feeling good, feeling excited that I'm still here.

• 2:58Drew Afualo?

  After the rapture, we survived it. We did, in fact.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  You and I.

• 3:02Drew Afualo?

  Oh, my God, what were your plans if we did get raptured?

• 3:04Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 3:05Drew Afualo?

  If you had any?

• 3:05Speaker 01

  If they took me up or if they kept me down?

• 3:07Drew Afualo?

  Both. I'll, I'll take both. Yeah.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Um, if they took me up, they would send me back down.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  And if I stayed down, um, I saw a video of this lady who was like, get down there, you're, you're gonna be down there with your sins. You're gonna, all of you sinners. I was like, okay, so all the fun people are gonna be here.

• 3:24Drew Afualo?

  Right, okay, right. Okay, so my people.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:28Drew Afualo?

  Right, my community.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  Oh, my besties are here.

• 3:31Drew Afualo?

  I was like, yeah, I know damn well all my friends are sinners. They were right. We're all getting left behind. If they got taken up and I didn't, I'd be offended. You know what I mean?

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Would you leave your clothes?

• 3:41Drew Afualo?

  Like the clothes I have on me?

• 3:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:42Drew Afualo?

  Like, would I just get sucked up naked? Probably not.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:46Drew Afualo?

  I'd probably wear a big t-shirt. God has to let you wear a big t-shirt in heaven.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  Big t-shirt, no pants.

• 3:50Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, they don't let, they don't let you wear them in Love Island, but they should let you wear them in heaven.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 3:55Drew Afualo?

  Because that's a different kind of hell, I think, Love Island.

• 3:59Drew Afualo?

  If I had to guess.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  They always do challenges where they're covered in goo and then they can't take a bath.

• 4:03Drew Afualo?

  And they have to.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  A bath? They don't even let them take a bath.

• 4:07Drew Afualo?

  They have, they have to literally wear a two-piece at all times.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  I know, fully.

• 4:11Drew Afualo?

  Sometimes you need a big T.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  That's my nightmare.

• 4:13Drew Afualo?

  What if I want to swim in my swim shirt, then what?

• 4:15Speaker 01

  Absolutely. I'm always in a tankany.

• 4:18Drew Afualo?

  What if my shoulders are burned and I can't have them exposed anymore, then what?

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 4:21Drew Afualo?

  Well, I'm, I'm excited to have you here. I know, uh, like, everyone is, I don't think as familiar with your lore, but I'd love to know how you came to be on TikTok in the first place.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Absolutely. Well, so I graduated in 2020, which was awesome.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Um, and then

• 4:36Drew Afualo?

  Perfect timing.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  Perfect timing, especially because I went to school for acting. Um, and they were like, well, no one's ever gonna act ever again. I thought we were all gonna die. I were all gonna get raptured.

• 4:45Drew Afualo?

  For real. That one did feel real. In 2020, that one did feel real.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  Absolutely did feel like shit. Um, and I was like, oh, I'm so depressed. Oh, I hate my life. Um, and then I wasn't posting anything. And then I just like posted a couple of videos for my friends, which was like basically what I'm doing now, honestly. I'm truly just posting for friends.

• 5:04Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  But, um, yeah, and then I got another job at a coffee shop and I was like, I have always had shit uh, experiences with customers. So I'm gonna talk about it all the time.

• 5:16Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, have to. How else do you survive it?

• 5:17Speaker 01

  And I did.

• 5:18Drew Afualo?

  And I, I, I think, I've said before on the show many times, I think the service industry is one of the hardest to work in literally ever.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Absolutely, it is.

• 5:26Drew Afualo?

  People like being intentionally incompetent or rude is insane.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  People just love, they have no control in their own lives. So they're like, I know that you make below minimum wage. So I should come in here and be mean to you. And you are every day.

• 5:40Drew Afualo?

  I literally said that as, that was so shocking to me when I was a server for half a second because I couldn't believe, it felt like they were intentionally leaving the house to go harass someone.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:50Drew Afualo?

  And where can I legally do it? A restaurant?

• 5:52Speaker 01

  Absolutely. And then I won't tip. They never do.

• 5:56Drew Afualo?

  And then I'm gonna find a reason that's valid to only me and my family.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:00Drew Afualo?

  About why I didn't tip.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. I remember I got a, I got a review. I've never gotten a bad review. This is the one time I've gotten a bad review on Yelp. It was paragraphs long of this ancient man who was like, there's, he called me a little girl. He said, I was the manager of a coffee shop. He's like, this tiny little baby girl.

• 6:18Drew Afualo?

  This child, this fetus was raising her voice to me.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  Fully. I was like, hey, it was just after COVID restriction had been lifted. And I was like, hey, I'm so sorry. You can't move the chairs. Like, there's a certain number of chairs. We have to have a table. He's like, what are you talking about? It's like, I know it's a stupid rule, but like you have to. And then he kept moving them. And I go, sir, I really don't need the attitude. I just need you to keep the chair where it is. And he was like,

• 6:42Speaker 01

  Flipped his lid, he left, comes back the next day, talks to my coworker, he goes, are you the manager? To him, and he was like, yeah, couldn't even fathom that I would be the manager.

• 6:50Drew Afualo?

  Right, literally, of course not.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  And he goes, you need to apologize to me.

• 6:55Drew Afualo?

  Oh, no, I don't.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  I don't know what that means.

• 6:58Drew Afualo?

  It's funny, because no, I don't, because you're not the boss of me, so, sorry. But it's literally how I handle most hate like that, I'm like, I actually don't have to do that, because you're not the boss of me. I can actually do whatever I want.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Oh, you're my mom?

• 7:09Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 7:11Drew Afualo?

  Actually, no, because I'm thirty, so, no.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Um, I just had my thirtieth birthday, I am not a baby.

• 7:17Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, no.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  No.

• 7:19Drew Afualo?

  So you had to, you had to confront that guy, he wrote a bad review about you then?

• 7:23Speaker 01

  It was paragraphs, yeah, yeah.

• 7:24Drew Afualo?

  Damn.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  I was like, okay, and what?

• 7:26Drew Afualo?

  Harping about the chairs?

• 7:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. What do you mean? He was like, I was waiting for a date, no, you weren't.

• 7:33Drew Afualo?

  Well, that's the first lie you've told me since you've been in here, and that's kind of fucked up.

• 7:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:37Drew Afualo?

  I'm gonna be a seller.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  He goes, do you want to apologize to me? I go, do you want to apologize to me? What are we talking about?

• 7:43Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, you first, I'll show you mine if you show me yours, how's that?

• 7:46Speaker 01

  Rock, paper, scissors, just go for it.

• 7:48Drew Afualo?

  Let's pull straws. That's so funny, dude, I can't even imagine, especially with men, too, like, the way that they

• 7:56Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 7:56Drew Afualo?

  Talk to women in the service industry is like, actually insane.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  It's actually, i- it is, I mean, I will have people.

• 8:02Drew Afualo?

  What's the craziest one you've ever had? I'm sure there's a few.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Oh, my god, well, this one was actually the most insane, my first job, I worked in Albert Sims at a grocery store.

• 8:10Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  I started young, I started young when they hated me. I, they made me the sample girl, because I did theater in high school, and they were like, well, you do theater, so you must love to talk to people.

• 8:21Drew Afualo?

  That's actually the complete fucking opposite.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Who said that? Then who said that?

• 8:26Drew Afualo?

  I like to entertain people, that's different.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  So they put me as a sample girl, and I don't know what holiday it was, maybe it was like a football thing, but I was doing tortilla chips, guacamole and salsa, and just doing samples.

• 8:40Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  And I had a little tiny trash can out front of the little stand, and this woman comes up, guacamole, salsa, she goes, what's the difference between these two?

• 8:53Drew Afualo?

  It's like.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  I was like, okay, well, one is green, then one is red.

• 8:57Drew Afualo?

  Should we start with color, texture, or would you like to start?

• 8:59Speaker 01

  What can you see? How many fingers?

• 9:05Speaker 01

  And she was like, oh, uh, yeah, what's the difference between these two? I was like, well, this one is guacamole and avocado and this one is salsa. She goes, okay. Takes the chip, scoops into the guacamole, takes a bite and she goes, hmm, I make better. So. So we agree that you knew what that was.

• 9:23Drew Afualo?

  She goes, wrong, that's trash. That's what that is.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  She said disgusting. And then she takes her little cup, like the chips came in like a little cup.

• 9:31Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  Throws the, the cup in the trash can, kicks the trash can over, whether it was intentional or not, I don't know, looks at me and goes, someone kicked over your trash can.

• 9:41Drew Afualo?

  What the hell?

• 9:42Speaker 01

  That's crazy. I have a gun.

• 9:45Drew Afualo?

  It's crazy because I don't like this job that much.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  I'm fourteen.

• 9:51Drew Afualo?

  I'm also a child, so there's that too.

• 9:53Speaker 01

  I'm wearing a lime green polo. I'm like, are you bullying me?

• 9:58Drew Afualo?

  I've said before, like some of the jobs I've had where I was interacting with like people, like customers, constituents, whatever.

• 10:07Drew Afualo?

  The way, yeah, the way I say that is because that's the job I had right after college where I worked with my mom. I worked for, for my mom. But I've said before many times, I know she's new. She hasn't heard it. I had to tell the audience. Uh, basically I just did like, I'd pass out bad news about construction. Like that was like, kind of like the short, long and short of it. I like, we did PR for major freeway projects, things like that. So like, you know, people, you know what people love to hear about traffic and commute. And like, when I would walk around and do that shit, we would do these things called neighborhood meetings, which are like, one thing you need to know about an old person, they love a neighborhood meeting. If there's a place they can get free coffee, donuts and bitch, they are gonna be there. Seven AM on the dot.

• 10:48Drew Afualo?

  On the dot. They're gonna be waiting outside that elementary school auditorium for me to open the door. Like they are waiting to get in there. And so like anytime we went to that shit, they would ask me the most insane questions to where I'm like, well, clearly I make the decisions. Because I'm wearing a too small polo and I'm talking to you at seven AM on a Saturday.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 11:09Drew Afualo?

  Mind you, it's a Saturday and I'm twenty one and I'm talking to you because that's what I would love to do. Like one time this old man was yelling, because I worked with my sister, which is a bad idea regardless. But she, she and I were like, just hitting the streets for those flyers and all those projects. One time we did this neighborhood meeting, just, I think it was the two of us and like one of our other coworkers. This old man starts harassing my sister, like starts asking her questions, but then it just turns into like, I just want to talk at you. I want to yell at you.

• 11:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 11:36Drew Afualo?

  Because I'm a hundred and I don't know what's going on anymore.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  They love to.

• 11:39Drew Afualo?

  They love to do that, especially to young women. They love to do that to women. And so he starts like, talk, like asking questions faster than she can answer them. Like she's answering the question. He's like, well, what about this? Well, what about this? And then as she's in the middle of answering another question, he goes, where are you from? What country did you come from? Mind you, my sister's been talking, so you can hear her. Like she doesn't have an accent. Like she's been talking. And at that point I walked over, I said, what does that matter?

• 12:06Speaker 01

  Fully.

• 12:07Drew Afualo?

  Do you have a question about the freeway or no? And then he was like, I just want to know who they're employing. I just turned my back. I was like, see, that's the thing is I need this job, so I can't say all the things I want to say to you.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Where are you from? What's the traffic like?

• 12:22Drew Afualo?

  And then they're like, you're going to do this to my commute? I hate the freeway. I'm like, Diva, I hate the freeway too.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 12:29Drew Afualo?

  Here's the line to complain. Yeah, I'm like giving them the line to complain. You complain. I hate them. I hate them too, girl.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Well, I heard what you said. So now I'm out here and I'm ruining your commute.

• 12:39Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, it was one of those like, jobs where it's just like, no matter what you say or do, like they're going to find something.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  They don't care.

• 12:45Drew Afualo?

  It's just they're, they're so eager to yell at you.

• 12:47Speaker 01

  Well, even if, I mean, even in like coffee, things could be absolutely perfect. You do it exactly how they want. And they're like, no, no. I completed the task and they're pissed.

• 12:57Drew Afualo?

  They're like, what did you change?

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Nothing. Absolutely. I turned my back and I went. And I handed it and they're like, it's divine. Thank you so much.

• 13:06Drew Afualo?

  Thank you for fixing that. I appreciate it. Have you only worked in service? Have you worked in like retail or anything like that?

• 13:11Speaker 01

  I've never done retail. I know that's a different type of hellscape, which is.

• 13:15Drew Afualo?

  Me too.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  But only food, but people are insane with food, obviously. I get it.

• 13:19Drew Afualo?

  I know. It's like, I only worked in that one restaurant. I even told that story recently to my friend Eric about a guy, I caught a guy. Uh, a guy I trained. I didn't know I was training my replacement at the time, but then he like went in the bathroom and smoked meth. And I was like telling my manager, I was about to tell my manager, like, he smokes meth. Like, I don't know about that. That my, oh, bad news, meth. And, uh, I remember when I said, I, when I was about to say it, he was like, I'm going to let it, I'm letting you go. And I was said, oh. Why is that?

• 13:48Speaker 01

  He said, where are you from?

• 13:51Drew Afualo?

  How are you finding me at all my jobs?

• 13:55Drew Afualo?

  But even when I, when I had told that story on Eric's show, like I saw the clip recently and like in the comments, people are like, Hmm, I don't know if that's meth, like he was probably smoking weed. What do you care, first of all?

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Listen, I smoke meth. I know what that's like.

• 14:12Drew Afualo?

  I would know. I would know. But I was like, I was talking about it with my fiance because I was like, what do you care about correcting the? First of all, it wasn't weed. I know what that smells like.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:23Drew Afualo?

  And meth has a very different smell. So I know what that smells like too.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  What did it smell like?

• 14:26Drew Afualo?

  It has such a, such a distinct smell. It's like, almost like oil burning. I don't, I don't really know. It smells like.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  Incense.

• 14:33Drew Afualo?

  Honestly, if I had to guess the smell of meth, it would be that. Like if I was like, okay, that smells sinister and evil.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  They give you four scents to choose from. You're like, that one's definitely meth.

• 14:44Drew Afualo?

  Trust me, this one's meth.

• 14:48Drew Afualo?

  But you mostly worked in food service then?

• 14:50Speaker 01

  Mostly food. The reason I went, is because I remember a woman, um, at my first coffee shop job, no, at my second coffee shop job, I've worked at three. Um, the one where I got the bad review.

• 15:01Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 15:02Speaker 01

  Uh, it was towards the end of the day, a woman, like an older woman and her friend come in. Her friend was so nice. She's like, can I get a hot chocolate? I was like, absolutely. That's so adorable. And then the woman's like, can I get a hot coffee? Absolutely. I had just brewed a fresh pot. I had just brewed a fresh pot.

• 15:15Drew Afualo?

  That's important.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  I pour it for her, go and give it to the table. She comes up and she goes, this.

• 15:27Speaker 00

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• 15:59Speaker 01

  Coffee is freezing.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  It's like, hmm, well, it's not.

• 16:07Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  But okay, I go, oh, I'm like, so sorry. Like, I just brewed a fresh pot. She goes, no, it's ice cold. Takes her entire fist and shoves it into the cup of coffee.

• 16:18Drew Afualo?

  She pulls it out, three, third degree burns. See?

• 16:20Speaker 01

  She goes, so you want to tell me what the fuck that is?

• 16:25Speaker 01

  I go, I don't know what to do. I kind of just went.

• 16:30Drew Afualo?

  You're kind of like, you didn't have to do all that. I, I was gonna change it regardless.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  Also, because I know it's fresh coffee. So you're fucking insane.

• 16:37Drew Afualo?

  She has like a tear running down her face because she's like, it's so hot. See, freezing. See that?

• 16:44Speaker 01

  Ooh, freezer burn.

• 16:46Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, see, that's freezer burn. Yeah.

• 16:48Speaker 01

  And I go, uh, uh, okay, I'll make you another one. I bring it to the table. She's like, oh, my God, thank you so much. Like, she didn't just shove her hand in the fucking pot of, like.

• 16:57Drew Afualo?

  She's like, you're the sweetest, by the way.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  She goes, I love this place.

• 17:00Drew Afualo?

  But her hand's still third degree burns. Looks like Harvey Dent.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  Love. That one, I would say is the craziest one because I would never, I'm the type of person that's like, oh, my order's wrong. I'll just eat it.

• 17:12Drew Afualo?

  Me too.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  I'll just take it.

• 17:13Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, me too. If, unless it's someone else's and they're like, ah, I really can't eat that, then I'll say something. But I'm very nice about it. I'm like, hey, I'm sorry. Can you please? That reminds me, I went to the, I flew to New York recently and, um, we were at, I think we flew JetBlue. So we were like standing at the desk and she's like, okay, put the, it's like me, my fiance, um, Carrie and my sister. And so like, we're all standing there and we're like, okay, like talk, kind of chatting. And she goes, okay, put the first bag up. And so it was mine, right? Because I was first. So she puts it up, she goes,

• 17:47Drew Afualo?

  three pounds over. You might have to change it. And I go, and then I was thinking in my head, I'm like, well, if you're flying business, you have more pounds, right?

• 17:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:56Drew Afualo?

  And it was like barely over 50. It was like 51, 52, something like that. And so she was going, yeah. Otherwise I gotta charge you $200. And then I was like, it's fine. Because at that point I was like, we're running behind. I'm not gonna sit here and rearrange shit. Like, it's fine.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:09Drew Afualo?

  And then Carrie was like, well, no, because we're, um, I don't think it should be up to 75 pounds, right? And she goes, that's business. And then I go, I, I am business. Like, I'm flying, we're all flying business. And then she goes, nope. Just to my face, like I was like, and like, and I'll be real, like she cucked me a little cause I was like, like I was just gonna pay the 200.

• 18:30Speaker 01

  Am I flying business?

• 18:32Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and then I start feeling gaslit, like I'm like, wait, maybe I'm not. And then Carrie, Carrie was literally, it's funny, cause Carrie is so sweet and kind, unlike me. And she was like, no, no, like, that's not true. Like, she was like, looking up on the website and she's like, that's not true. Uh, we're all business. She's like showing it to her. And then the lady goes, okay, so business, 10 seconds has passed since she asked me, right? And then Carrie goes, yeah. She goes, alright, tags the bag, takes it off. And then I go, yeah, that's what I just said. I said I was business. And then she looks at me and she goes,

• 19:07Drew Afualo?

  and I for real felt like, girl, do I know you or something? Like, I was like,

• 19:11Speaker 01

  I'm like, are you mad at me?

• 19:13Drew Afualo?

  And I really, like, she got my ass, cause I, I for real was like,

• 19:17Speaker 01

  Saying nope is crazy.

• 19:19Drew Afualo?

  To my face.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  Nope.

• 19:21Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, nope.

• 19:22Speaker 01

  I actually burned the plane. You won't be flying.

• 19:26Drew Afualo?

  That's why she kinda got my ass. She said that I said, oh, alright, well, my bad, my fucking bad.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  So business, where have you been?

• 19:37Drew Afualo?

  She's like, oh, alright, tags it. And that's why when I said, no, that's what I just said. She was like,

• 19:42Speaker 01

  She's like, no, you didn't.

• 19:43Drew Afualo?

  Almost like she was like, you always do this.

• 19:47Speaker 01

  The last time you were here, you tried to pull some shit like that.

• 19:50Drew Afualo?

  Every fucking time you come in here, you try to pull some shit on me. I never fly jet.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  I'm flying business.

• 19:57Drew Afualo?

  Oh, are you? Yeah, that's why she's like, mm, are you?

• 20:00Speaker 01

  No, you're not. You're flying first class on a private plane.

• 20:05Drew Afualo?

  I know I won the grand prize.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's a big check.

• 20:10Drew Afualo?

  So you said you majored in theater?

• 20:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:12Drew Afualo?

  What, what was your specialty? Did you have like a fave? Did you like comedy, drama?

• 20:16Speaker 01

  Ooh, I loved doing, um, honestly, drama is my favorite to do.

• 20:21Drew Afualo?

  Ooh, I love that.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, I, I mean, I am a dramatic person. I'm not a very like, Yeah, I don't know. I guess, yeah, drama was my favorite to do. Comedy was my favorite to write, though.

• 20:32Drew Afualo?

  Oh, tea. Okay.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  I like doing my own comedy, but I like reading other people's.

• 20:36Drew Afualo?

  Do you do any stand-up or anything?

• 20:37Speaker 01

  I have a ton.

• 20:38Drew Afualo?

  Tea?

• 20:39Speaker 01

  A ton is crazy. I've done it maybe five times.

• 20:41Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, more than me.

• 20:42Speaker 01

  But you should, you should.

• 20:44Drew Afualo?

  I've done, I've done it a couple of times. I've been like, eh, but I do like it. I enjoy it. I think it's really fun.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  It's hard.

• 20:51Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, it's fucking so hard.

• 20:53Speaker 01

  It's insane. I did like a class because I was like, I can't just get up there and do it. So I took a stand-up class.

• 20:59Drew Afualo?

  And how was that?

• 21:01Speaker 01

  It was, well.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  I think it was five people. I was the youngest person there.

• 21:07Drew Afualo?

  Oh, nice.

• 21:08Speaker 01

  Um, my favorite person was like a sixty-five-year-old woman who was like a professor. She's like, I'm just doing this so I can talk in my lectures.

• 21:16Drew Afualo?

  Oh, that's sweet.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  Loved her.

• 21:18Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  Um, and then one guy was named Dave. That's all I remember about him.

• 21:24Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, not very memorable, clearly.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  Very. Um, but yeah, we did our little showcase, which was cute. And then I did an open mic after that. And I was like, maybe I should never do this again.

• 21:35Drew Afualo?

  Really?

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Because everyone there was thirty-five to forty-five-year-old men. And I was like, you hate what I'm saying right now.

• 21:46Drew Afualo?

  I lost the room already.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  They, I got up there and they were like, boo.

• 21:49Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  They said, nope.

• 21:52Drew Afualo?

  When you go up there, right as you're approaching the stage?

• 21:55Speaker 01

  They said, no.

• 21:56Drew Afualo?

  Meh.

• 21:56Speaker 01

  But I've done it a few times and it is really fun, but it is a ton of fucking work.

• 22:01Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, it's hard. I've, I've only, I've only like, like actually done it for real twice. So like.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  How long were you up there for?

• 22:09Drew Afualo?

  I did five, a five and then a twenty.

• 22:12Speaker 01

  Twenty?

• 22:12Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, so I went from five to twenty, no practice in between. I was like, shit. Um, good thing I could just talk up there. But there was like another, uh, I think when I did, I was like, I had the opportunity to do more, but I, I was just kinda like, I need to do this. It's one of those things where maybe this is me being a Virgo, but I was like, I need to practice a ton and I don't have time to practice a ton. And like, I am not the type of bitch that's like, yeah, fuck it.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  I hate that.

• 22:37Drew Afualo?

  Before I go up there, like, to some degree, I need to be prepared.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  Fully. Before the showcase, people were like, trying to like joke and laugh. I'm like, I need space.

• 22:46Drew Afualo?

  Shut up.

• 22:47Speaker 01

  So fucking zip it.

• 22:49Drew Afualo?

  I have to lock in right now.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  Even with like when I did theater and stuff, I before a show or I'd be like, no one talk to me. I would just sit in a corner and like run my lines like a crazy person like shaking.

• 23:01Drew Afualo?

  I felt like that too.

• 23:02Speaker 01

  Can't.

• 23:02Drew Afualo?

  I know, and I find it like such an inhumane skill to memorize an entire hour. It was like the memorizing part was the hardest part for me. Because once you get up there, I feel like I start thinking about a lot of other things. And I even said when I did my next one, I think it went better and flowed better because I wasn't so beholden to memorizing every single line.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  Fully.

• 23:25Drew Afualo?

  It was just like memorizing general theme and then going from there. Cause I need more space to run, I feel like.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  No, I'm the same. I feel like when I'm, I like, I can't have coffee or anything. I have to just be like, I'm almost like half asleep. And get up there. I'm like, I'm so beyond relaxed that like, I don't have time.

• 23:40Drew Afualo?

  That's tea.

• 23:41Speaker 01

  Or the space to think.

• 23:42Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  That I could fuck up.

• 23:43Drew Afualo?

  For real.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  Cause then I will.

• 23:44Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 23:45Speaker 01

  Like I just did a, like a character showcase at UCB.

• 23:48Drew Afualo?

  Oh my gosh, how fun.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  It was so fun. I was really fucking nervous for that one. Cause I don't do like characters.

• 23:53Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  But it was a good ass time. And I was like, I'm just, who gives a shit?

• 23:57Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 23:58Speaker 01

  Like my friends are there, my boyfriend's there, like, who cares?

• 24:02Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I gotta have fun. I think that's like, that was probably the thing that took the most pressure off me the second time I did it too. I was like, I just gotta have a good time.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:10Drew Afualo?

  And also like, I know I'm good at like crowd work. I know I can, I can nail crowd work pretty easy. But I don't want to be one of the, like, I didn't want to be a stand up that only does crowd work. Because then it's like, you're not a stand up. Like at that point, I'm just roasting people from the stage.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  You're just gabbing.

• 24:24Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I'm just, I'm just catching up over like brunch with the girls. Like at that point, that's what I'm doing. Uh, but I didn't want to be that guy. So I was like, hmm.

• 24:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've seen, I've seen that.

• 24:35Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, we all know. We know who we're talking about and they have bad veneers and it's okay. That's. Yeah, and a big fake old jaw. Love that. I need one of those, honestly.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  A new jaw.

• 24:48Drew Afualo?

  A new jaw. How's your journey on TikTok been?

• 24:52Speaker 01

  Really good, really crazy. Um, I, yeah, was posting kind of just for friends and then I started doing lives, not real lives.

• 25:00Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 25:01Speaker 01

  I would go to Olive Garden. I would pick up dinner and eat it in my car and then I would go live for, for people.

• 25:09Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  And they're the best. I have a little group chat with them right now too. They're like, we're so happy for you.

• 25:15Drew Afualo?

  Oh, that's so sweet.

• 25:16Speaker 01

  People in the world, but yeah, my little internet friends. But then it just like started happening more and more and like more people were seeing it and I, anytime I will see a video of mine from like two weeks ago, I'm like, I, this is awful.

• 25:29Drew Afualo?

  I feel that.

• 25:30Speaker 01

  You can't watch them.

• 25:31Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I hate my older, older ones too, like.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:34Drew Afualo?

  At least it, at least your, your catalog, I think your catalog is fantastic.

• 25:38Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 25:38Drew Afualo?

  Mine goes back so far that like, I feel like some of those early ones, if I could scroll that far back, I would delete them all. I just can't.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 25:46Drew Afualo?

  And I posted every day for three years straight. So like, good luck catching it. At that point, I, I'll never catch up at that point.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  Remember when you said, I don't?

• 25:54Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I really don't. And don't remind me. I don't want to know. That, not that bitch anymore, whoever she was. But even at that point too, I, I've said like, my voice sounds very different in those.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:03Drew Afualo?

  And it's because I went to school for journalism, so like broadcast.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Right.

• 26:06Drew Afualo?

  So they made, they made me, well, made me, they told me I needed to raise the tenor of my voice, like.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 26:12Drew Afualo?

  Speak in a higher tone because my voice is an octave, I guess, too manly.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  God forbid.

• 26:18Drew Afualo?

  For broadcast television. So she told me, you should try speaking higher because it's more appealing.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  You have to talk into a transatlantic accent.

• 26:25Drew Afualo?

  I'm like Judy Garland. No, fucking for real. And I think that's why my early ones, I hate watching them because I'm, my voice sounds like Mickey Mouse compared to how it sounds now. And like honestly, I'm I when some people go back and look at them, they're like, oh, my God, I can't believe how young you look here. When I click on it, if I hate it, I delete it, or I hide it.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 26:46Drew Afualo?

  I like if I'm like, sometimes I'm like, yeah, go back and like them so I can find them.

• 26:49Speaker 01

  Absolutely. Oh, my God, you look so young here. I'm gonna delete that, and I'm gonna block you.

• 26:54Drew Afualo?

  No, yeah, there's no way you're not catching me. No way. Do you have any like dreams or aspirations with TikTok?

• 27:01Speaker 01

  Ooh, I don't.

• 27:02Drew Afualo?

  Or even acting?

• 27:03Speaker 01

  I really don't know. I mean, acting for sure. I, because I have been acting since like eighth grade, something stupid, like really, really young. Um, yeah.

• 27:12Drew Afualo?

  What's like a dream role for you?

• 27:14Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 27:14Drew Afualo?

  Let's do TV and movie.

• 27:15Speaker 01

  Ooh, ooh, TV.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  I want to host Love is Blind. No, I'm kidding. Um, for TV, I want to.

• 27:24Drew Afualo?

  We should host it together in these costumes, unexplained.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Sight unseen.

• 27:32Drew Afualo?

  Don't judge what you can't see. That's me. This is called Love is Blind, isn't it?

• 27:37Speaker 01

  Wait, but you said you liked me.

• 27:41Speaker 01

  For for TV, I don't know. Okay, this is awful. I don't watch. I don't watch stuff.

• 27:47Drew Afualo?

  Me either.

• 27:48Speaker 01

  I don't. I mean, I just watched a series with my boyfriend. There's six episodes called The Girlfriend.

• 27:52Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 27:53Speaker 01

  It's really good. It's about British people and a couple of Americans.

• 27:56Drew Afualo?

  Okay, tea.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  Um, and there's like a girlfriend and a son and a mom, and the mom kind of loves the son in like a weird way. And hates the girlfriend, and it's a big like whodunit.

• 28:07Drew Afualo?

  Oh, wait, I saw that. I saw the trailer for that on TikTok.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  It's crazy. We just finished it. It was so fucking good.

• 28:12Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  But that's like the only TV show I've watched in a thousand centuries.

• 28:16Drew Afualo?

  You're so like me. Same. I don't watch anything new ever. It's like when people are like, have you watched this? I'm like, nah. But I'll watch it like three years later.

• 28:24Speaker 01

  I'm the same fucking way. I literally, I've never seen, what the hell is it called? The most famous television show? Game of Thrones. I've never.

• 28:32Drew Afualo?

  Oh, you've never seen Game of Thrones? I have watched that, but I watched it back in the day, and we used to watch pirated versions because I couldn't afford HBO at the time.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  Real.

• 28:39Drew Afualo?

  But one of my, but I was way behind like everybody else. Like, one of my girlfriends from college was like, you have to watch it, dude, it's so good. And I was like, really? And then eventually I did.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:48Drew Afualo?

  But I'm a big repeat watcher. Like, I watch the same stuff.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  I'm the same, but mine is, okay, this is insane. I. There is one Twitch streamer I watch.

• 28:58Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  I don't watch him live. I watch the videos he uploads.

• 29:01Drew Afualo?

  Afterwards?

• 29:02Speaker 01

  They're four hours and I will watch them over and over again.

• 29:08Drew Afualo?

  Which streamer is it?

• 29:09Speaker 01

  His name is Half Moon Joe.

• 29:11Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 29:11Speaker 01

  I've been watching him since I was in like, probably eighth grade.

• 29:15Drew Afualo?

  Really? What does he, what does he do?

• 29:17Speaker 01

  He used to make YouTube videos. He's like, this gay man who lives in DC with his husband and their little dog Piggy. I know everything about him. Hey. He used to make YouTube videos about all kinds of stuff and now he just streams like old Nancy Drew PC games, like all, and he's terrible at them, but that's why it's so fucking funny. Also, he's from Arkansas, so he has like a thick southern accent.

• 29:39Drew Afualo?

  T.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  Ah, it's just so.

• 29:40Drew Afualo?

  That's so funny. So randomly specific.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  Fully. Anytime I'm having a bad day, I watch, he has, um, oh, not Wizards of Waverly Plays. Who knows what the hell it's called? He watches Wizards of Waverly Plays.

• 29:53Drew Afualo?

  Right, right, right.

• 29:54Speaker 01

  And he'll play like the Bratz games, like all the old Barbie games. I just, and I watch that over and over again.

• 30:00Drew Afualo?

  That's just what you'd be watching.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  I've never seen Game of Thrones.

• 30:02Drew Afualo?

  But let me tell you about Half Moon Joe.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  But I could.

• 30:06Speaker 01

  I could, yeah, I could quote a four hour video to you.

• 30:09Drew Afualo?

  There is, there is this lady I've been watching. Do you have like niche people like that on TikTok?

• 30:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:13Drew Afualo?

  Me too. There's this lady I've been watching recently. I don't even remember her name. But it's this white girl and she's like a teacher, but that's not her content. Her content is like she eats this thing called a plowman's lunch. Does it sound British? It is. And she ate, uh, when I tell you it's the most off putting charcuterie I've ever seen in my life, and this bitch eats it in a classroom. And I'll tell you what, I'm locked in. Two and a half minutes, I'm watching her eat that whole fucking thing. And it's like, it's like bread, two different kinds of cheeses, like just the stinkiest food alive, really, but like she'll have pickled onions. Pickled beets, these thing called Branny Pea, fuck if I know what that is. It's like when she was describing it, she's like vinegar molasses almost.

• 30:58Drew Afualo?

  And then there's like another thing called Pickle Lily, fuck, what the fuck are they doing over there? When I talk shit on British food, dude, the cut down, like Laura, my, my friend Laura, Laura, she's the best. She does socials for the show. She posted one about me and Robbie Hoffman talking shit on British food. You should have seen those comments, girl. Oh my God, they want me dead. They want to put me in a guillotine. That's rants. Who gives a fuck? They, every time I say your food sucks, they're like, yeah, well, kids die in schools where you're at.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  Absolutely. They're like, sorry, we'll put beans on toast and tree sap.

• 31:29Drew Afualo?

  And I eat, I watch what they eat and I'm like, oh my God.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  I made a video a thousand years ago, not about food, but being like, when you tell the time, like, tell me what the time is. Don't be like, oh, a quarter past blah, blah, blah. All of these British people are like, you fucking Americans. I just want to know if it's seven oh two or not.

• 31:48Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, they're like a quarter pal, a quarter till this. Hey, shut up and tell me the real time.

• 31:53Speaker 01

  The moss grows on the north side of the tree. I'm like, tell me the die.

• 31:56Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, make, make me read a sundial. Why don't you? So I watched this Ploughman's Lunch lady. She eats that, she eats crazy British food. Like she's never been to the UK. She doesn't know any British people, really. She just like is obsessed with their food. So she eats this Ploughman's Lunch when I tell you every fucking day. And every video, I'm like, here she goes again. And I watched the whole thing. And also something that's fascinating to me about her, because she'll just combine all of it. She'll put like that vinegar molasses shit on it. She'll put cheese on there. And then a pickled onion and then she'll eat it. And I'm like, what's crazy about her is like, she'll take the biggest bites I've ever seen in my life. Like when I tell you unhinge her draw, like she literally goes, fits the whole fucking thing in there. And she's like, oh, delicious, delicious.

• 32:41Drew Afualo?

  And it looks like the most disgusting food in the world and I just can't stop watching her. I, every time I see her, I'm like, oh my God, my show's on.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  Time for my cardboard and goo.

• 32:50Drew Afualo?

  I know, like my vinegar cardboard. I'm so excited. Do you have any niche people on there that you're watching?

• 32:56Speaker 01

  Oh my God, yeah. Don't know his name. Don't know what he stands for, but he, he, oh my God, I'm going to try to imitate his voice. I've never done this. Oh my God.

• 33:10Drew Afualo?

  You gotta talk like this and everything.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  So that's his voice.

• 33:12Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 33:13Speaker 01

  And he has created um a map for a world. That he has called.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  Three thousand Queen Mary Ocean City.

• 33:23Drew Afualo?

  Right, okay.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  Who knows what that means? But he's made a map and he was like. Oh, we're gonna open like an M and M store in three thousand Ocean Mary City. This place doesn't exist. He's he makes a thousand videos.

• 33:36Drew Afualo?

  Making business plans?

• 33:37Speaker 01

  A day. He shows the blueprints. It looks like nothing.

• 33:41Drew Afualo?

  He's just showing you brick and mortar. Like brick and mortar businesses in his fake city?

• 33:45Speaker 01

  Absolutely. And I eat it up. Every time I hear, I'll like just be scrolling, not even looking. I hear, I'm like, I'm in.

• 33:54Drew Afualo?

  Your Pavlov.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  What's the newest addition to the city?

• 33:56Drew Afualo?

  And who is coming to the city next?

• 33:59Speaker 01

  I love it. He's like, yeah, we're opening up a Reese's Pieces world.

• 34:04Drew Afualo?

  They're all candy stores. It's like a little kid if they made a city.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Yes, fully. He's like, has to be like thirty seven years old. I eat it up every time.

• 34:14Drew Afualo?

  Like my, my fiancee loved like the Costco guys, right? Like he loved them before they got big, like way before. He would be like, oh, have you seen these guys? And I'm like, I think you know I haven't. Like just generally, I'm sure you can assume. And for, I think it was Valentine's Day this year. He like just talks about them because he thinks they're the funniest people alive and like the Rizler, right? With the Costco guys and all that. Like, it's funny because those two kids act like how I think any child would act if they got a lot of money and access at eleven.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 34:45Drew Afualo?

  They're, they're not doing anything remotely serious. Like they're going to all their favorite things. Like amusement parks, WWE wrestling, like that's all they're really about, which I respect. And I remember when for Valentine's Day, I got him a cameo. From the Costco guys, right? Because they do cameos. And so I bought one and I literally said like. Can you wish um them a happy, like wish my fiancee a happy Valentine's Day? Uh, and also give him five big booms, right? Because like, there's a meme of him when he's like, sorry, your brother died. Here's five big booms. Yeah. Boom, right? That's his favorite like video ever. That's amazing. And so I was like, can you also give him five big booms?

• 35:27Drew Afualo?

  And so then I didn't get the cameo till like a week after Valentine's Day. They like forgot about me and I was like, damn, that sucks. No. Good thing I had other gifts. Otherwise, what would I have done? I was holding out. Right, and then they did eventually send it to me. And they were like, so sorry, we're late. We just want to wish you a happy Valentine's Day. Drew loves you so much. They really improvised a ton in it. But they said, he loves you like a brother, like he loves you so much. You got, he loves, like literally misgendering me constantly throughout it. Which I did not put my pronouns, so that is on me. Uh, but I just thought it was funny because I was like, well, at least we know they're, they don't care about gay couples. Because they were being very, very emphatic throughout the entire thing. I love that. And then they didn't give five big booms. They only gave one big boom, so.

• 36:11Drew Afualo?

  Wow, okay, so they fucked up in multiple ways. So if you're gonna buy a cameo from the Costco guys, keep that in mind. That's just what I would say. You're gonna get it a week late. They're gonna misgender you. Yeah, they will misgender you in your cameo. Absolutely, but they said love is love. Yeah.

• 36:27Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, they played, played that Macklemore song for me. In the background, that would have been so great. But anywho, yeah, I think like for niche people on TikTok. Another one I've talked about, Dr. Parkenstein, are you familiar with him? I didn't realize I could go in through this way and fix my hair. This is major. You're unlocking something. Sorry, hold on. I got something going on. Your arm's been out the whole time and you're like, there's a hole right here.

• 36:52Drew Afualo?

  Sorry, what did you say? I said, are you familiar with Dr. Parkenstein on TikTok? No. Love him. He's also someone who is obsessed with like the early nineteen hundreds. So everything he wears drives how he cooks his food. His entire apartment looks like it's in the nineteen twenties. And I, and I remember someone in the comments was like, how old is like too recent for you? And he said, anything after nineteen thirty-six. Absolutely. I said, he's so real. So I watch him, he'll do four minute videos of him doing, um, what is that dance? It's like when they're swinging their legs like crazy. Oh, Charleston? The Charleston, yeah. He'll just, he'll be like, this is me doing the Charleston. And then he'll put on, on his record player and he's dressed like from the nineteen twenties. And then he's just doing that and all you hear is him breathing and kicking. For four minutes. And guess who watches all four minutes? Me.

• 37:38Drew Afualo?

  I'm watching, I'm giving it a like, I'm reposting it, you know what I mean? The world needs to see that guy. I love him.

• 37:44Speaker 01

  Swinging his leg.

• 37:45Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, he's just swinging his leg. And he's good at it. I mean, I'd like to assume. I don't know many people who do the Charleston. I mean, my, my, my opinion probably means nothing, but I think he's great.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  You're like, this is so good. You really killed the Charleston. He's like, this is my worst one yet.

• 37:58Drew Afualo?

  You don't know anything. You literally don't know anything.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  You're not even from the 1920s.

• 38:04Drew Afualo?

  And he also randomly makes videos where he is building like a generator of some kind from scratch.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  Right.

• 38:11Drew Afualo?

  And he, and he has video proof of him coming up with the idea of Tesla before Elon Musk bought it. And I was like, this guy's on to something. I'm gonna follow him into war, honestly, at this point. Like, he knows something the rest of us don't. And I'm staying close by the fire, you know what I mean?

• 38:27Speaker 01

  The uniform, you're in a flapper dress.

• 38:30Drew Afualo?

  If that's what it takes, that's what it takes.

• 38:32Speaker 01

  I'm sorry.

• 38:32Drew Afualo?

  But I watch him cook things on his old timey stove. And I watch him ride his old timey bike, like the one with the huge front wheel and the little back wheel.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  That is my fucking dream.

• 38:42Drew Afualo?

  I'm gonna show you him after we get off. He's fantastic.

• 38:45Speaker 01

  Sorry, I'm late.

• 38:47Drew Afualo?

  He's like, I'm gonna show you guys how I ride my penny bike. And then he sets up his thing and then he's like, it's a little hard to get on. And he, he has no cuts, no edits. And then he also has like end cards on his videos where it's a picture of him in black and white. So it looks like it was taken in 1900. And it says Finn at the top.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  Like he died.

• 39:04Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, at the end of every single TikTok, he puts that in there. I love that guy.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  I have, no, I need to know who this is.

• 39:10Drew Afualo?

  I follow them all. It's funny, I have so many people like that and I follow them and they don't follow me and they don't give a fuck about me. But I follow them and I'm like, they have no idea how big of a fan I am. They have no idea. You guys have no clue.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  Well, they're like, we don't like your content.

• 39:23Drew Afualo?

  They're like, not really my kind of thing.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  Not my thing, but thank you.

• 39:26Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, but I appreciate you. I do have some fun facts about you, though.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  Facts about?

• 39:31Drew Afualo?

  Yes, some, some fun facts.

• 39:32Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 39:33Drew Afualo?

  If you, if you like to get into them with us.

• 39:35Speaker 01

  I'd love to know.

• 39:36Drew Afualo?

  Okay, this first one says, you were a theater major in college and you starred as Juliet in a punk rock version of Romeo and Juliet. And you were a semifinalist in the National Shakespeare Competition.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Absolutely, I was. What if I kill myself right now?

• 39:49Drew Afualo?

  Okay, team is Shakespeare.

• 39:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:51Drew Afualo?

  What'd you do for your, uh, competition?

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Um, so, I, yeah, I guess it was a national competition. And we had to do a monologue and a sonnet. And I did a Juliet monologue and a sonnet about dying. And I...

• 40:06Drew Afualo?

  Were they both from Romeo and Juliet?

• 40:08Speaker 01

  No, just the monologue was.

• 40:09Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  Um, and, yeah, you had to like memorize them and then do it at your school. If you won the one at your school, you do it at state level. If you do it at state level, you go, "You go to national."

• 40:20Drew Afualo?

  And you were a semifinalist?

• 40:22Speaker 01

  Semifinalist, yeah. Didn't make it all the way though.

• 40:26Drew Afualo?

  But you still made it further than a lot of other people.

• 40:27Speaker 01

  So true.

• 40:28Drew Afualo?

  Also Shakespeare's hard as fuck, bitch.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  It is. I, I love Romeo and Juliet.

• 40:32Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  I, which is like probably the cheesiest thing about me, but I love Romeo and Juliet.

• 40:36Drew Afualo?

  No, but you love it for real.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  I do.

• 40:38Drew Afualo?

  Not like the Leonardo DiCaprio version or whatever the fuck. Was it Leonardo DiCaprio?

• 40:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:42Drew Afualo?

  Okay, I couldn't remember.

• 40:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:44Drew Afualo?

  Me forgetting.

• 40:45Speaker 01

  Who the hell was that?

• 40:47Drew Afualo?

  My favorite, my favorite Shakespeare, uh, play was the one about Cyrano.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 40:53Drew Afualo?

  Cyrano? Is it just called Cyrano? Cyrano, yeah. I couldn't remember the name.

• 40:56Speaker 01

  I don't know all of them.

• 40:57Drew Afualo?

  That's one of my, that's one of my favorite ones. That's the one where he's like really ugly and he writes the things for his buddy.

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:02Drew Afualo?

  Who sings to her and he's like stands in the bushes.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 41:04Drew Afualo?

  Love that one. That's a great one.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  Happened to me.

• 41:06Drew Afualo?

  You should go do Shakespearean theater in London.

• 41:08Speaker 01

  I want to so bad.

• 41:10Drew Afualo?

  I think...

• 41:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:11Drew Afualo?

  That's tea.

• 41:12Speaker 01

  I wanted to really, really bad.

• 41:13Drew Afualo?

  I think that's so sick.

• 41:14Speaker 01

  When I was in New York though, and I was doing the competition, all of us were like, "Okay, like what monologue are you doing with sonnet, blah, blah, blah?" This guy was like, "Oh, what monologue are you doing?" I was like, "Oh, I'm doing a Juliet monologue." He goes, "Kind of basic for the competition, right?"

• 41:28Speaker 01

  Right, so...

• 41:30Drew Afualo?

  He's trying to, he's trying to get in your head.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:32Drew Afualo?

  Before the competition.

• 41:33Speaker 01

  What is this?

• 41:33Drew Afualo?

  He's trying to psych you out. It's like Ice Princess.

• 41:36Speaker 01

  Absolutely, it is.

• 41:37Drew Afualo?

  You know, when she comes in, she's like, "Nice skate."

• 41:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:42Drew Afualo?

  The Goth girls, that was a Goth girl doing it to you.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:44Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, see?

• 41:45Speaker 01

  He bullied me. I was like, "Okay, and what?"

• 41:47Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 41:49Drew Afualo?

  Maybe if you did it, it would be basic.

• 41:51Speaker 01

  Well, maybe you did it, you would suck.

• 41:52Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 41:53Speaker 01

  Were you a semifinalist?

• 41:55Drew Afualo?

  Exactly. We'll see at the end of this.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely. We'll see who makes it.

• 42:01Drew Afualo?

  What an asshole thing to say. Well, clearly, clearly, you nailed it.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 42:06Drew Afualo?

  And, uh, this next one says that you co-starred in a queer comedy web series called Twenty that got nominated for a Streamy Award.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 42:14Drew Afualo?

  Oh, my god, how exciting. How was that?

• 42:18Speaker 01

  Right, right. No, cool, cool that you have that.

• 42:22Drew Afualo?

  I'm so glad you found that.

• 42:24Speaker 01

  And I like that we're talking about it.

• 42:27Speaker 01

  No, it was really fun. I was so young. I guess, yeah, I was in college, probably like twenty, twenty-one. Um, I did a terrible play with this one girl. We became really good friends and she wrote this like queer comedy web series.

• 42:41Drew Afualo?

  Cute.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  And I was the youngest person and I, I was just so young.

• 42:47Speaker 01

  And my character is like a bitchy, uh, who knows what they were, but just like bitchy investment banker.

• 42:56Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  Right. I was really, I looked the part, you could say. I nailed it.

• 43:01Drew Afualo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, very crazy.

• 43:04Drew Afualo?

  And nominated for a Streamy?

• 43:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, we went to Palm Springs for a thingy. Who knows?

• 43:09Drew Afualo?

  For the Streamys?

• 43:10Speaker 01

  No, some like festivals or whatever.

• 43:13Drew Afualo?

  Oh, nice.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:14Drew Afualo?

  Okay, T. I also have lost a Streamy. So, we're twins in that. I was also nominated in Lost, yes.

• 43:22Drew Afualo?

  I don't even remember who I lost to either. I don't remember.

• 43:26Speaker 01

  Was it just like a creator award?

• 43:27Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, it was like for a Streamy and it was like, you know, that's like, they're, they're trying to make a thing for content creators, which I was like, we don't need those.

• 43:35Speaker 01

  Absolutely. Hey.

• 43:37Drew Afualo?

  Hey, we don't need those.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  What was the Tyler Oakley thing? Laughing face. Do you remember his speech?

• 43:43Drew Afualo?

  I don't remember his speech. I remember Tyler Oakley. I was so into Tyler Oakley at the time. He was, he was popping. When he gave his, I remember Noah Centineo's.

• 43:51Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 43:51Drew Afualo?

  That one he said about, what was it again, Daisy? Do you remember that one? The one that Noah Centineo made?

• 43:56Speaker 01

  He's like, when you think.

• 43:58Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, it was like, when you think or you imagine, what is you? Like, he said something.

• 44:06Speaker 00

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• 44:40Drew Afualo?

  And also for yourself. Or Justin Bieber's when he said, "I'd also like to thank God and Jesus."

• 44:45Speaker 01

  Also Jesus. Real, I say that all the time to this day. Oh my God, I'd love to thank God. And, and it's just not bad.

• 44:53Drew Afualo?

  And I guess Jesus.

• 44:54Speaker 01

  Jesus.

• 44:54Drew Afualo?

  I guess.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  It's about what you have and what you do with what you have.

• 44:57Drew Afualo?

  That's what it is. That's what it was.

• 45:00Speaker 01

  Absolutely. And you all laugh at that.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  But he was on to something.

• 45:06Drew Afualo?

  Honestly, he was. And the funniest quote from now since now is of course, his Lee Snapchats when he said, "Are you gonna show me how to squirt or not?"

• 45:13Speaker 01

  Absolutely. Well.

• 45:15Drew Afualo?

  That you squirt, not how to squirt. That'd be so funny.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's like, wait. So, he's like, real shit.

• 45:21Drew Afualo?

  He's like, girl, can you show me how?

• 45:24Speaker 01

  Dibbup, I'm curious.

• 45:28Drew Afualo?

  That's what I, I remember quotes like that, that I find funny, that I know they don't find funny at this point in time.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:36Drew Afualo?

  And like my favorite one recently, well lately, I would say, in the fact that I've been repeating it a bunch, which is the Sydney Sweeney one where she's like, "Guys, it's my mom's birthday." When her mom was photographed in a Trump hat. And then they're like, "Hey, what the fuck is this? Are you MAGA?" And then she goes, "Guys, it's my mom's birthday."

• 45:53Speaker 01

  She said, "Guys, it's Bob."

• 45:55Drew Afualo?

  It's my mom's birthday. You know that.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  Like, you know what's crazy? We went to college together.

• 46:00Drew Afualo?

  Really?

• 46:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:02Drew Afualo?

  Tea.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. Went to college together. Literally.

• 46:05Drew Afualo?

  And I'm reading between the lines without you saying them.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 46:07Drew Afualo?

  Yeah. I got it, I'm picking it up.

• 46:09Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 46:09Drew Afualo?

  Yep. Which is, guys, it's my mom's birthday.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  Hey, guys. And when I think about it, genes are passed down from parents to offspring.

• 46:18Drew Afualo?

  They are. Literally and figuratively.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  And she was, and she was right when she said that.

• 46:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:27Drew Afualo?

  Guys, it's my mom's birthday, okay? And I couldn't believe I missed that, I missed that slam dunk for my birthday caption on Instagram.

• 46:35Speaker 01

  I know.

• 46:35Drew Afualo?

  Guys, it's my 30th birthday. I should have put that.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 46:38Drew Afualo?

  Another one, you can guess who said it. People are gonna die.

• 46:41Speaker 01

  Oh my god. Yeah, people are gonna die.

• 46:43Drew Afualo?

  But I guess it's inevitable? Hilarious. I'm gonna laugh because it's about Coachella.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 46:50Drew Afualo?

  And people are dying. And it's like, and you're telling me that I can't have my nips out in Palm Desert? Okay.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Fucked up.

• 46:58Drew Afualo?

  What can I, what kind of country are we coming to at this point? I can't dance in, in something offensive in the desert? Right.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  God forbid, god forbid. People die in the fucking desert.

• 47:11Drew Afualo?

  And you know what? I'm gonna, I'm the type of bitch that's gonna keep those quotes alive.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 47:17Drew Afualo?

  I'm gonna keep them alive no matter how far they go. Like, then no matter how far down they go.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  I also know I have so many that I can't think of right now, but they just come out all the time. Like, when I say, well, yes, like, absolutely that one. There's a million of them.

• 47:33Drew Afualo?

  That's why I love, I love, like, guys, it's my mom's birthday.

• 47:37Speaker 01

  No, fully.

• 47:38Drew Afualo?

  And it's even better when no one understands the reference.

• 47:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:41Drew Afualo?

  Okay, I have some more, uh, fun facts.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  This makes me wanna die.

• 47:46Drew Afualo?

  Uh, it says, "You once lived with a man who boiled his work pants in the one pot that they shared."

• 47:51Speaker 01

  Right.

• 47:52Drew Afualo?

  And what the hell is that?

• 47:53Speaker 01

  So, I lived with a man, hey, so, what the fuck does that mean?

• 47:57Drew Afualo?

  What do you have to say about that, huh?

• 47:59Speaker 01

  So, I have right here that a man boiled his pantaloons. And it wa, they were pantaloons, so.

• 48:06Drew Afualo?

  Very literally speaking?

• 48:07Speaker 01

  Very. So, I lived with this guy for like, a month, maybe a month and a half or something. Um, he, I don't know where he was moving from, but he didn't bring anything with him.

• 48:17Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 48:17Speaker 01

  And I was like, hey, you can use my pots and pans and silverware and stuff, like, that's fine. I have one pot. I live alone. Why do I need two?

• 48:24Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  Um, I would come home from work, he did not have a job, I would come home from work on the stove when I would wanna make something, it would be boiling water and like, linens? And I was like, what is this? He would pull them out and they were pantalo, like, pantaloons. And I was like, hey, so, I'm so hungry. And I'm the only one who has a job. So, I need the pot. And he was like, well, I can't, cuz I'm boiling my pantaloons.

• 48:54Drew Afualo?

  No, I see that.

• 48:55Speaker 01

  My mistake. No, and I came home and saw.

• 48:58Drew Afualo?

  Yes, I noticed. I've seen that, yes.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  It was so bizarre, and he also didn't wash his clothes, but he got a big bucket and would put water in it and clean it on our patio.

• 49:09Drew Afualo?

  Is this man from the 17th century?

• 49:10Speaker 01

  Very ancient, prehistoric man.

• 49:12Drew Afualo?

  I was gonna say, like, his pantaloons, did he elaborate on what?

• 49:16Speaker 01

  No, he was always kind of wearing like garments.

• 49:21Drew Afualo?

  Like a man who loves a blouse?

• 49:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, oh my god, and he was doing the Charleston.

• 49:27Drew Afualo?

  Now that I think about it.

• 49:28Speaker 01

  Oh my, wait, I do know that guy.

• 49:31Speaker 01

  I have him blocked.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  No, it was absolutely insane. I would be like, okay, I'm so hungry, I just wanna make like Chef Boyardee like beef ravioli.

• 49:39Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 49:40Speaker 01

  And I can't.

• 49:41Drew Afualo?

  I can't make my Annie's mac and cheese, cuz someone's bloomers are in my pot.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  Fully. It was awful. Awful, awful, awful. He was so loud, so messy, and I get like, I'm a clean person, like, I'm an organized, clean person, but I understand like, homes are to be lived in.

• 49:56Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 49:56Speaker 01

  So if there's stuff around, like, that's fine. Always shit everywhere.

• 50:00Drew Afualo?

  Just disgusting.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  I was like, hey, dog.

• 50:02Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  You gotta stop that.

• 50:04Drew Afualo?

  Especially the pants thing.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  The pants thing was crazy.

• 50:07Drew Afualo?

  The mess is one thing, the pants thing is another.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  And then he moved. He was like, hey, I'm gonna go to New York. I was like, aww.

• 50:14Drew Afualo?

  No way.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  I'm gonna miss you.

• 50:15Drew Afualo?

  Who's gonna soil my dishes?

• 50:17Speaker 01

  Wait.

• 50:18Drew Afualo?

  In your, in your absence, how am I gonna ruin all the things I own?

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Shit. I'm gonna miss you. You meant a lot to me.

• 50:26Drew Afualo?

  I haven't had too many terrible roommates. I had one roommate in college that wasn't the best, but she wasn't the worst either. She did do one weird thing, though, where like, one time she asked me if she could have some of my alcohol, and I was like, out. Cuz I'm very like, yeah, no, like, help yourself, like, I don't care. And I had a thirty rack and two handle, uh, two handles and a bottle of wine. When I came back, all of it, gone. And I said, I'm sorry, cuz she was probably maybe a hundred and ten pounds like she was the tiniest little woman that's ever lived. I was like, did you drink all of that?

• 51:04Speaker 01

  Could I borrow a sip?

• 51:05Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, she was like, oh, and then the way she would answer questions like that was always so strange. Like she was like, yeah, it's like crazy cuz like I just had like a crazy night, but I was just like in here by myself. I go, you drank all of that by yourself?

• 51:20Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 51:21Drew Afualo?

  And she goes, yeah, sometimes I do that. Okay.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  Right. Do you have anyone to talk to?

• 51:26Drew Afualo?

  So before I freak out, are you okay?

• 51:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 51:29Drew Afualo?

  And second of all, I was like, well, you're gonna replace it, right? Because I'm fucking broke and my parents left that with me when they left, like they came with me to Hawaii to drop me off.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  Right.

• 51:38Drew Afualo?

  And then left, and so they left all the alcohol with me. And I was like, okay, well, you're gonna replace it, right? She goes, I mean, yeah, I can if you need me to. Um, yeah, bitch, all of that alcohol that could feed a small army. Yeah, I'd like, yeah, I'd like you to replace the shit. Are you nuts?

• 51:52Speaker 01

  She said, I'm so thirsty.

• 51:54Drew Afualo?

  Yeah. And I literally, I'm not even kidding, like I had to pick the day that we went back to the store cuz she kept pushing it off and was like, oh, I'll get it another time. I'll get it another time. And I was like, I'm going to the store today. You wanna come with me? We can replace that stuff you drank.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:06Drew Afualo?

  And she was like, oh, yeah. And I go, okay, perfect. I'll, I'll wait for you in the room. I'm, I'm here now. And then I literally, I'm not even kidding, I felt like I was holding her at gunpoint, like to get her to the store. I literally, we took the bus together, sat on the bus, walked into the Walmart, and then I was like, took her to the alcohol aisle. I literally was like escorting her to go buy it because she would not do it on her own. And when I went, she was trying to give me some cheap ass vodka. I said, better put that down and pick that other bottle up cuz that's the one you drank.

• 52:33Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 52:34Drew Afualo?

  Me not caring though, when I'm, when I'm twenty, drinking underage, don't do it. Do as I say, not as I do.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Don't do that.

• 52:40Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, don't do that. I've never done that. But when I was doing that, you know, it's like, I'll drink piss out of a bottle. I don't care. But I was like, top shelf only, only cuz she pissed me off.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  I like Grey Goose.

• 52:48Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I was like, I'm a Spedka girl, so, need you to get in on that.

• 52:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, she said, here's Burnett's. Here's like,

• 52:56Speaker 01

  warm Burnett's.

• 52:57Drew Afualo?

  Oh, yeah, don't bring me, don't you bring me another Amsterdam bottle, I swear to god. But you've had, have you had a lot of crazy roommates?

• 53:04Speaker 01

  Um, honestly, no. That's good. My last college roommate, we just left on bad terms. Which is the very diplomatic way of saying that.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  Hope you're well. But no, just the pantaloons guy. Oh my god, okay, well, the guy that tried to kill me. Oh, yeah, that's right. So, the roommate that I had for the longest, her name was Ally, she was so great. We lived in North Hollywood. And she was moving stuff over. And he sees her outside and goes up to her and says, I have the key to your apartment. And she was like, tea.

• 53:43Speaker 01

  As far as I know, only one woman lives in there. Absolutely. Yeah. And she's like, okay, great, I'm gonna change the locks. So she changed, changes the locks. Every night for probably three months, he was like screaming around the building, just like saying nothing, nonsense. Right. Would take Sharpies and draw on the walls of the hallway, like, fuck the people who live here, fuck the girls who live in this apartment, like blah, blah, blah, blah. It was just you two? Ju- it was just us two. Why? Hated our guts. For any particular reason? No, I had never even seen him at that point, so. Yeah. He was just, something was unwell. Yeah. But he would be like, he would draw guns and skulls and nooses, and he's like, I'm gonna kill all these people, I was like, sled. Not great.

• 54:26Speaker 01

  Will you give me a heads up, or is it kind of a surprise thing? Let me know. Well, just let me know so my calendar's free. Absolutely. Yeah. Um, his apartment was like right next to the laundry room, which you had to walk past to go do laundry. And he would talk to other people in the building. Um, and he was like, do you know the girls that live in da-da-da apartment? That's even scarier. Super, really, really scary. Yeah. They're like, yeah, we do, he's like, I'm gonna get them.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  Right. Right. And it was the middle of COVID, so no one was like getting evicted and no one was being moved out, or blah, blah, blah. And then eventually we got a camera for our front door. And we would watch the video back in the middle of the night, he would come and stand in front of our door and watch on the camera. Just looking, not doing it.

• 55:09Drew Afualo?

  Just staring into it?

• 55:09Speaker 01

  Staring into the camera, like really scary.

• 55:12Drew Afualo?

  Ew.

• 55:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, he like kicked a guy's door in, he like tried to break into our apartment a bunch of times. Um, and then eventually I've like stopped being scared and I was like, you are so fucking annoying. Like I listen to you every fucking night, say bullshit. So I would go down there, uh, he would be like walking around the building and I would go down there and I'd be like, can you shut up?

• 55:32Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  Like, please stop. He's like, I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna kill you. I'm like, you haven't.

• 55:35Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  You haven't yet.

• 55:37Drew Afualo?

  Lot of this, but when I come around, you don't wanna post up.

• 55:41Speaker 01

  Fully, fully. I'm like, do it, please, I'm waiting.

• 55:45Drew Afualo?

  At this point, I'd rather you kill me than keep fucking yapping shit.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  I'm gonna kill you. Okay, right, have yet to see it.

• 55:52Drew Afualo?

  And honestly, some, those guys a lot of times prey on fear. Like, and just like avoiding them and not, yeah.

• 55:57Speaker 01

  Completely, and so the weirdest one is, so my roommate and a bunch of the people who live in the building went to the landlord's office and they're like, hey, this guy's really scary, like, we need to get him out. And the landlord looks at my roommate and goes, well, if you're scared, just move out. Love that.

• 56:14Drew Afualo?

  Okay, why do I have to move out when this guy's threatening to kill me?

• 56:17Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 56:18Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 56:18Speaker 01

  And then, so they're like, okay, we're gonna lock the, the floor, so he can't get up to your floor or whatever, blah, blah, blah. In the middle of the night, I hear like, like metal clanging. I go down there, he's taking a drill to the back door to try to get into the building, so I'm filming all of this.

• 56:35Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 56:36Speaker 01

  And I open the door and I go, what the fuck are you doing? And he's like, uh, um, um, I'm like, yeah, you have a drill.

• 56:43Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 56:44Speaker 01

  And I was like.

• 56:44Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I can hear it. I can hear the metal drill, yeah.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  He's like, I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna kill you, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, do it, you haven't, you won't. You won't.

• 56:52Drew Afualo?

  You won't, you won't.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  Do, do it. And I had never called the police and I called the police, stupid.

• 56:59Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 56:59Speaker 01

  Because I showed them the video, um, and they go, don't show this to anyone ever again. I was like, why? And they go, because it shows that you're not inferior to him, cuz I stood up for myself.

• 57:10Drew Afualo?

  So they're like, so you got it?

• 57:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, so like, so, hey, you are.

• 57:14Drew Afualo?

  So you bothered me for what? That's what, yeah, fuck the cops.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, fully. They were like, you're bold, you've got it.

• 57:22Drew Afualo?

  You know what, girl? You don't, don't look down anymore. Your crown is falling.

• 57:27Speaker 01

  Fully. They said, your spark in your energy is something we've all been talking about.

• 57:33Drew Afualo?

  Put your hair in a messy bun and handle it.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  Fully.

• 57:38Drew Afualo?

  They're girl bossing you?

• 57:39Speaker 01

  Fully. Get that smoothie.

• 57:43Drew Afualo?

  Don't even talk to her before she's had her coffee.

• 57:45Speaker 01

  Absolutely. After Pilates, you got this, T-Bone.

• 57:49Speaker 01

  I was like, he's gonna kill me. And they're like, and what?

• 57:51Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 57:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, really stupid.

• 57:53Drew Afualo?

  Girl, you're dumb. You should have edited this part out. Now I know you can stand up for yourself, so. And it's funny, because even if you couldn't, they still wouldn't do shit.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  No, absolutely. And then I, I, I don't know if it was before or after this, but I called and I was like, can I make a report? They're like, there's no need.

• 58:07Drew Afualo?

  According to who? You?

• 58:09Speaker 01

  According to hell.

• 58:10Drew Afualo?

  Imagine, what is that? Is that guy, is that guy the fucking chief of police? The one that's threatening to kill you?

• 58:15Speaker 01

  Wait, that's my bestie.

• 58:18Drew Afualo?

  No need, no need. I already did. I, I think I wrote it down in my head. Like, while you were telling me, when I was at your house the other night, I wrote it down.

• 58:23Speaker 01

  No, like, put it on post-it.

• 58:25Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, don't worry. I, I sent it through Slack. It's fine. They'll get it.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  I sent a Slack message.

• 58:30Drew Afualo?

  To the reports people. They're gonna take care of it. Don't worry about it. Yeah, it's totally fine.

• 58:33Speaker 01

  Aw. She passed away? Aw. Anyway.

• 58:38Drew Afualo?

  That's like, I, I, first of all, good for fucking you.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 58:41Drew Afualo?

  Because at, at a certain point, you're like, bitch, let's have it out. You and I need to brawl in the street at this point. I'm gonna beat the shit out of you. How's that? Like, at this point, I'm sick of it.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 58:50Drew Afualo?

  All this, all this shit talking, I'm over it.

• 58:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, we had a-

• 58:53Drew Afualo?

  And trying to, like, intimidate you.

• 58:54Speaker 01

  That part was-

• 58:55Drew Afualo?

  That's the worst part.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  That was the craziest. We had like a hammer next to our door, like, just in case.

• 58:59Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 59:00Speaker 01

  Um, because I don't believe in guns. I'd smash a skull in.

• 59:04Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 59:05Speaker 01

  Um, and then my roommate had like a, a ladder, like a rope ladder to throw out of the window in case we had to leave.

• 59:11Drew Afualo?

  Oh my god.

• 59:12Speaker 01

  It was insane. It went on for like, so fucking long. Months.

• 59:14Drew Afualo?

  That's insane.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:16Drew Afualo?

  I'm glad you weren't alone during that time.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  Me too. So, not roommate, but crazy man.

• 59:21Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, crazy man in my building.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:23Drew Afualo?

  That's, and honestly, that's why I said, like, a lot of times, like, when you say some shit back, all of a sudden, it's like-

• 59:29Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 59:30Drew Afualo?

  Well, I didn't really prepare for the second half of the conversation, so.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  Wait. You're standing up for yourself.

• 59:36Drew Afualo?

  Wait a second. That's not what girls do.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  You've changed my mind.

• 59:41Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 59:41Speaker 01

  I'm like, okay, great.

• 59:42Drew Afualo?

  I'm not gonna kill you after all.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  I'm gonna erase what I wrote on the walls.

• 59:46Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, imagine he's like, what are you doing later today?

• 59:50Speaker 01

  They're kind of cute. I'm like, no.

• 59:53Drew Afualo?

  No, but I'm really looking at you.

• 59:54Speaker 01

  His name was Asknart.

• 59:56Drew Afualo?

  Asknart?

• 59:57Speaker 01

  Asknart.

• 59:58Drew Afualo?

  That was a government name or is it a nickname, you think?

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  Who knows?

• 1:00:01Drew Afualo?

  Anyone's guess, honestly. A person running around the building saying they're gonna kill you would be named Asknart, I think.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 1:00:08Drew Afualo?

  Heavy on the ass. Ass fart, maybe.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Oh, my god. I should have said that. Fuck!

• 1:00:14Drew Afualo?

  More like ass fart, how's that?

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  I'm gonna kill you. Okay, ass fart!

• 1:00:18Drew Afualo?

  And he says, "Assnark," you're all, "Yeah, that's what I said."

• 1:00:21Speaker 01

  Wait, what'd you say? Nothing.

• 1:00:22Drew Afualo?

  You guys ever try to rage bait your bully? Your stalker? You rage bait your stalker?

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  Hmm, okay.

• 1:00:31Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, okay, ass fart.

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  It's like, stop.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  Wait.

• 1:00:37Drew Afualo?

  I love shit like that. That's why I said, "You're not the boss of me." That's the best one.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 1:00:42Drew Afualo?

  No, why? Because you're not the boss of me. That's why. When I was in, um, Arizona for work stuff once, we were at like a TikTok event thing that I was hosting and I, uh, took like my sister and my man and, um, Alex, like she came with us too. And I remember like in between, I was hosting live, so like it was a whole big music thing. So there was a bunch of different acts, whatever. So in between, like I would go host and then once the music act started, I would come back and sit with them. And like one of the last times they came back, there was like, they put us in this huge section because it was in a baseball stadium. So we were like on this huge open part. There was a ton of couches, a ton of room to stand and watch. And the person performing was Niall Horan. And that's important to remember.

• 1:01:23Drew Afualo?

  So we were, we're all standing there. I come out, I'm like getting some food and stuff. I'm about to sit down and like my sister and Alex are sitting on the couch. And they're both small, they're both short. So like we're sitting on this couch. We've been there for hours because I've been there since it started. And there was like a big group of guys there. They were like older men in like their 50s. I think they were working for like the tech company that like helped do lighting and shit. So they got to stand up there. There's plenty of space to stand and watch. And they keep standing directly in front of my sister and Alex and they're both small, so they can't see. So they would ask like, hey, can you guys scoot a little bit to the left? It change, doesn't change the view, the seat, nothing, right? And so like they moved once and then the second time my sister asked again, like, hey, can you guys please move over?

• 1:02:06Drew Afualo?

  Cause it's again, it's open bar. So like people are fucked up at this point, towards the end of the night. And then the second time she asked, it's like this old ass dude. He turns around, he goes, no. And then he just turns back around. And then I was at the table getting food at the time and my sister said that she's like, okay, well, I'm gonna tell my sister. And then you're gonna have to deal with her when she comes back.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:27Drew Afualo?

  So I came to sit down and I was like, why are these guys just standing here? And she was like, I asked him, but he went, no. And I go, alright. So I went up and I like tapped him on the shoulder. And I was like, excuse me? And they tried to ignore me at first and it was him and like a bunch of other dudes. They're all like old ass white dudes, all of them, their hair's gray.

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:45Drew Afualo?

  So then he turns around, he looks at me like all disgusted and I was like, would you guys mind just scooting to the left? Cause some people are sitting behind you and they're, they're not very tall, so they can't see. And I was like, would you guys mind? And then he goes, no. Like to my face, like rude as fuck. And when he said that, I go, why?

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:03Drew Afualo?

  And then when I tell you, we sat in silence for fifteen seconds, cause he had no idea what the fuck to say to me.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  Why?

• 1:03:11Drew Afualo?

  And then he was like, mm, and I go, hello?

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:16Drew Afualo?

  And I'm, I'm like talking louder now. So I'm like, is there a fucking problem? And then at that point, my man stood up and he was like, what's going on? And I was like, this guy won't fucking move and now he won't tell me why. I said, why? And then we're both standing there. My man's big as hell too. I'm, I'm six feet. And my man is six, four. So we're standing there and we're looking, I'm like, is there a fucking problem? And then the guy was like,

• 1:03:40Drew Afualo?

  Like he's not saying words at all. Like he's just uttering noises. Like he's like,

• 1:03:47Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, he's like, it's crazy that you asked me that question. And then he goes, well, earlier you, you came up to me and were like,

• 1:03:56Drew Afualo?

  That's exactly the verbatim what he said. And then my man goes, what the fuck does that even mean? And then we're just looking at each other and I go, again, is there an issue?

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:05Drew Afualo?

  Can you move yes or no? And then they were just looking at me and I go, are you, what are you, a big Niall Horan fan? Like, what the fuck's wrong with you?

• 1:04:11Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 1:04:12Drew Afualo?

  And then, and then his friend comes over and goes, hey dude, just like, it's, it, just come over, it's not a big deal. Sorry about that. And I was like, yeah, no, I know it's not a big deal. Go ahead. And then they started moving. I go, thanks, guys. Appreciate you. And then we went and sat down. I was like, yeah, they won't get in front of you again. I promise you that.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  Look how easy that was.

• 1:04:27Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, but it's like when you press them, they're like.

• 1:04:31Speaker 01

  Why? Why? Oh. No one's ever asked me that before.

• 1:04:36Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I know. And Eric Sedenio was there.

• 1:04:39Speaker 01

  Mm-mm.

• 1:04:40Drew Afualo?

  And he told, because he was co-hosting with me. And I remember right after that, we went back to host one more time. And he was like, that was the scariest thing I've ever seen. And I go, what? He goes, just you and your man standing like that? I would poop my pants.

• 1:04:54Drew Afualo?

  And I was like, I know. And I was like, it's really, they were really being disrespectful because I'm a girl. And they were just like.

• 1:05:00Speaker 01

  Well, no. You did go up to him and go, raw.

• 1:05:03Drew Afualo?

  So that part's on me.

• 1:05:04Speaker 01

  That's not.

• 1:05:05Drew Afualo?

  I take that. That's on me.

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  That's crazy. Also, not an excuse.

• 1:05:08Drew Afualo?

  Also, you're 150 years old. Like, what is your problem? Like, you're just trying to bully young women for what?

• 1:05:13Speaker 01

  He's like, he's playing slow hands.

• 1:05:16Drew Afualo?

  You don't understand how much this town means to me. I bought this town on iTunes. I sure did.

• 1:05:25Drew Afualo?

  Okay, last one fact. Uh, it says you have done motion capture performing work for an animated TV series. And it says, photo below.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's me. Wait, I know her.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:39Drew Afualo?

  What was that for? That's so cool.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  It was for like a animated kids show called Super Giant Robot Brothers.

• 1:05:47Drew Afualo?

  So cool.

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  And I got to play like an evil alien lady and um some of the robots and like a bunch of other like alien people. They love to cast me as like villainous woman.

• 1:05:58Drew Afualo?

  You're telling me bitch.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  Hey, you said, and I'm here.

• 1:06:01Drew Afualo?

  All the roles I get are like huge bitch in the office. That's the byline. It's always like a cunt, but soft at heart.

• 1:06:10Speaker 01

  Rancid energy. You're like, what the fuck?

• 1:06:13Drew Afualo?

  Everybody hates her, but it's a heart of gold. It's like shit like that.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, they, especially when I was younger, they were like, okay, so you're gonna play the bitch. Is that okay? I was like, yeah, sure. Um, but this one was so much fun and they were like, hey, like, we also might want you to like be the voice. I was like, no way. They didn't pick me.

• 1:06:33Drew Afualo?

  I was gonna say though, I think you would thrive in voice work.

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  I would love to do it.

• 1:06:37Drew Afualo?

  I feel like you would thrive, whether it's like adult cartoon or for kids. I think you would kill.

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  People say it all the time and I'm like, are you gonna offer me something?

• 1:06:45Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, you're okay. So let's keep that up. Yeah. Pass that on to your friends.

• 1:06:49Speaker 01

  I, I would love to.

• 1:06:50Drew Afualo?

  I think you would kill in something like that. You have such a distinct tone of voice.

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:06:54Drew Afualo?

  And I can imagine it in an adult cartoon too, like a Bojack Horseman or like Bob's Burgers kind of thing.

• 1:07:00Speaker 01

  I would love to.

• 1:07:00Drew Afualo?

  Oh, I love that.

• 1:07:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:02Drew Afualo?

  Well, thank you so much for coming and hanging out with me on our first day of spooky season.

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  No, I know.

• 1:07:07Drew Afualo?

  Did you enjoy yourself?

• 1:07:08Speaker 01

  I did.

• 1:07:09Drew Afualo?

  Oh, perfect.

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  We look so spooky.

• 1:07:12Drew Afualo?

  In a way, yes, we do.

• 1:07:14Speaker 01

  And in a sense.

• 1:07:14Drew Afualo?

  In a horrifying way.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:07:15Drew Afualo?

  In a very off putting way, I would say. But for, to close this out, do you have any advice for any aspiring theater kids? That are coming up, maybe utilizing social media, kind of like you have been?

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  Absolutely. Um, get, get the tattoos. Like, oh my god. They would always be like, don't get tattoos because they're gonna have to cover them and you won't be able to do a role, diva. Long sleeves exist.

• 1:07:39Drew Afualo?

  Right. And makeup exists, body makeup.

• 1:07:42Speaker 01

  What if you never book?

• 1:07:44Drew Afualo?

  Then you're just gonna.

• 1:07:44Speaker 01

  And you never got tattoos.

• 1:07:45Drew Afualo?

  You're just gonna hold out just in case.

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  Fully. Um.

• 1:07:48Drew Afualo?

  That's a good idea. That's good advice.

• 1:07:51Speaker 01

  That's my only one. Get tattoos.

• 1:07:55Speaker 01

  Probably that.

• 1:07:55Drew Afualo?

  Period. I love that. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show. I fucking love you. You're the best. I'm rooting for you. I can't wait for everyone else to keep watching you and consuming you. And then one day seeing, I can't wait till you're like in the literal like Shakespearean theater in England. And then I get to pull up this pic of you looking like this.

• 1:08:13Speaker 01

  Absolutely. And then I go, can you move?

• 1:08:16Drew Afualo?

  I'm gonna say, never forget your roots. That's what I'm gonna, I'm gonna tag you in it. Never forget them.

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:08:23Drew Afualo?

  Thank you all so much for joining us on this episode of the comment section show. Thank you to my amazing guest, Sarah. Where can everybody find you?

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  You can find me on TikTok. I think it's Sriracha. It has to be. There's no way it's not.

• 1:08:35Drew Afualo?

  At this point, yes, it has.

• 1:08:36Speaker 01

  Sriracha. And then Instagram, Sriracha again. And then I have my cute little pod.

• 1:08:41Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  Sriracha sleepover.

• 1:08:42Drew Afualo?

  Period.

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  She's new, but she's cute.

• 1:08:44Drew Afualo?

  Love that. And you're hosting it alone, yes?

• 1:08:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:08:47Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I love that. That's how you know you're good, to be honest. When you can talk by yourself for a fucking hour.

• 1:08:53Speaker 01

  Oh, and I can.

• 1:08:55Speaker 01

  And I do. And dead.

• 1:08:58Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, make sure y'all check out Sarah. She's so fucking funny and you're just gonna keep seeing her everywhere. But memorialize this carrot in your head. That's the most important part.

• 1:09:06Speaker 01

  Wait.

• 1:09:06Drew Afualo?

  Don't remember, oh yeah, I was doing that earlier to kind of show people. My, I'm a highlighter, by the way, not a penis. I don't want to hear it. Don't. I should have picked a different color. Perfect. Thank you all so much for tuning into this episode of the comment section show. Don't forget, new episodes drop every Wednesday. You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms, but the video is for free and exclusively on our favorite platform, Spotify. Thank you so much to my amazing guest, Sarah. Thank you so much for tuning in and I'll see you next week. Bye.

• 1:09:42Speaker 00

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