Bonus #114 - Kush Brothers Vol. 18 [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Pat Burtscher and JP McDade join the pod for an emergency session of Kush Brothers to investigate who Luigi Mangione tried to get top from in Hawaii, the thriving donkey milk market in Albania, and a good old fashioned feel-good story about one couple's wild journey. Patrick, JP and Stav help callers including a guy whose fiancée/baby mama is pissed he got three other chicks pregnant, and a guy who's sick of his girlfriend's dog. Follow Pat Burtscher on social media: https://punchup.live/patburtscher https://x.com/patburtscher https://www.instagram.com/patburtscher Watch JP McDade's special JP MCDADE: IN BROOKYLN out now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9TOXFM3t1M Follow JP McDade on social media: https://twitter.com/jp_mcdade https://www.instagram.com/mcdadebaby 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:45Speaker 00

  Meeting new people just got way more fun because now you don't have to do it alone. With Tinder's new Double Date feature, you and your bestie can match together. Tap the Double Date icon to see profiles built for two. When two pairs match, the group chat kicks off.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Scope the profiles, send memes, keep the chat fun, hype each other up, flirt a little, maybe plan a hang. It's always better when you're in it together. Try the new Tinder Double Date. Explore all the possibilities. Tinder, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today. Man, what's up, Stavi? So I've been watching the podcast forever. Whatever renowned guest is on there, what's up? So I've called in a couple of times. I don't know if you've answered me because I've been busy dealing with this exact situation. But I've got a fiance and a child with her. And I've got three other women pregnant because me and my fiance kind of took a break.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  Three, brother? And now I don't know what to do because I need like advice. Basically, I'm an idiot because my kid's mom is an escort. So I've got custody of the one kid now. The other three aren't exactly escorts. They're strippers. Well, two are strippers, one's an escort. They, uh, my child and my kid's mom are white. So there's this weird racial... Because my kid's mom is angry that my other three soon to be kids moms are all a mix.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  That's what they're mad about? These whores are against race mixing?

• 2:24Speaker 03

  I can forgive you fucking around while we were on a break.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Alright, you wanna raw dog other sex workers and nut inside them, that's one thing, but miscegenation?

• 2:34Speaker 03

  The purity of the white race, I would not.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, you guys are real pure. You guys are real examples of the superiority of white people.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  Cause if our kids are other races, they're gonna be reckless and impulsive, not like us.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  This is awesome, holy fuck, I love this guy.

• 2:53Speaker 01

  I just wanted advice on basically how you would handle this delicate situation when you're dealing with uh, one kid's mom Beyonce that's angry, three other kids moms pregnant, they're all due soon.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  They're all due soon.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  And um, I'm thirty years old, um, so I've got my shit together, I have my own house, I pay my bills, I own my own shit.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  What a statement, what a statement. But he, I guess he's saying he has a pure financial situation, yeah.

• 3:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  Outside of child rearing, he's got it all figured out.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  I own my own everything.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  Respect. For now.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  But I guess basically what's your advice for a guy that's got three women pregnant, all due relatively soon, and I'm technically engaged, I am technically engaged to, uh dude, I'm so upset, like I'm nervous to shit because I already know I'm gonna have child support out the ass, I'm gonna have women fucking me up left and right, I mean I'm, I mean all of these women are crazy. All four of them are nuts, and so basically that's my issue is like, what do I do?

• 4:12Speaker 03

  You're the real guy who light in this situation.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  You nutted in all these people, man.

• 4:18Speaker 04

  That's hilarious.

• 4:19Speaker 02

  You nutted in all of them.

• 4:20Speaker 04

  They're all fucking nuts, they're gonna have my kids. What the fuck?

• 4:25Speaker 02

  But it's all happening next week.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. I think that's all the same time.

• 4:31Speaker 04

  It'd be fucking New Year to me.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  I really hope this podcast has a quick fix for me.

• 4:38Speaker 04

  I know what I'll do, I'll go stop you.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  Buddy, you're in, you're in faking your own death territory. We're way past normal school.

• 4:49Speaker 04

  So this all happened because you didn't answer my previous calls.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  I don't know if there's anything that three guys in their mid 30s have that can tell you.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  Four is crazy. Like, we're, we're, like, even two, right?

• 5:03Speaker 03

  I love that he phrased it as like, yeah, I got three other women pregnant because we took a break.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  Well, what was I supposed to do while we were on a break?

• 5:13Speaker 02

  I mean, listen, I could see this guy being a weirdly ethical dirtbag, right? Where he's like, look, if I were together with her, I wouldn't have nutted in three strippers, two strippers, one escort.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  But I was hurting lonely.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. Three, dude, it's crazy, man. You're, four is nuts. Four is really nuts. And yes, JP is right, you're in faking your own death territory. I guess let's finish, let's finish, let's finish the fucking, let's finish the call.

• 5:41Speaker 04

  That's the best.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  Our nut jobs. And so, basically, that's my issue is like, what do I do with crazy women? I have four of them pregnant, I'm engaged to one, I'm not married.

• 5:53Speaker 03

  I knocked up four women, how do I heal their racism?

• 5:59Speaker 01

  Not married, I'm engaged. So I guess that's the question, Bobby, is how would you handle one fiance and that, that is your child's mother?

• 6:10Speaker 03

  I love him saying he's engaged.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  And three other women that are pregnant. And there's this weird racial, racial tension because my kid's mom is one of them weirdos. It's like, you cheated with a black girl. Well, yeah, she's fucking hot. So like, you know what I mean? Thank you.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  Now you're starting to make sense.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  Alright, alright, respect, dude.

• 6:30Speaker 03

  You came back around.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Now we're getting you.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Alright, bro, so he has one kid already with the fiance. Fiance, what do you mean, you keep saying technically engaged, like, do you wanna be with this woman? Like, that's another thing. Here's the thing, you're fucked, bro. I love ya, you're a good guy, you seem fun.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Sounds like a great time.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  You seem fun, I think we would have a good time together, getting pussy of all, of all creeds and colors together, right? But, you're fucked. Like, if you had gotten one girl pregnant on a break and fucked a host a handful more, still bad, still really tough, you, you could come back from that. If you got two girls pregnant while on a break, would be really hard.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Quick sand.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  Would be really hard, but maybe.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  But you're still on ice.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  But you're, well, yeah, or you fell through the ice, but we got a rescue crew coming, you might lose a toe, but you might come out of it, right?

• 7:37Speaker 03

  We're getting a rope from the garage.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Three women, three women that are all gonna have a kid at the same time. And we're just not even gonna, I guess, address the racial, racial thing, other than to say like-

• 7:50Speaker 03

  There's no time for that, yeah.

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's on, he's on borrowed time, we gotta get to the fucking solution. By the time your immediate problems come to a solution, the racism may have been healed from the world.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  I mean dude, all you can do here is, all you can do here is, like, you say you got your shit together, and yes, you will have child support, out the ass, whatever, truly, all I can think of is, you gotta do right by, this isn't these kids' fault that you are nutting inside their insane mothers, right? You're, their dad, if you're the sanest person involved, that's a big problem, right? We're gonna take your word for it. It's not these kids' fault, you had a legendary run, brother.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  Legendary week, it sounds like.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You had a legendary little week here that you're gonna have to think of fondly.

• 8:47Speaker 04

  Buddy's batting at a thousand.

• 8:49Speaker 02

  I know, you have strong, I would immediately get a vasectomy, that's number one.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  I don't think it would work, they'd fucking try to cut in there. Like the tools would just get thrown across the room.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  You know what, we'll pay for your vasectomy. Email Elvis, we will get, we will literally pay for your vasectomy if you want it, man.

• 9:09Speaker 04

  He's like, yeah, can you Western Union me the money?

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Look, whatever it's for, we will give, we want you to get a vasectomy, please, at least give it to your kids, whatever. All I can think of is you got your shit together, you own your own house, you have whatever. You're just gonna have to stick with it and you're gonna be living a life of servitude, paying off these child support payments like, until for the next eighteen years. I don't wanna give you this, now this is not my official advice, but keep your regular job that the government will base your child support payments off of.

• 9:45Speaker 04

  Nice and low.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  Keep your regular job and then listen, if you gotta supplement that with some things that are not Uncle Sam don't know about, yeah, you literally might have to do that. And look, nothing too crazy, but you know.

• 10:00Speaker 04

  I got a sports betting parlay that's gonna get you out of this.

• 10:03Speaker 02

  No betting, no betting. You're better off selling drugs.

• 10:07Speaker 04

  Also invest in your kids. Don't fuck them over, cuz this could pay off in the long run. Make those kids form a band. Piano lessons, sports, get them involved in anything and whatever they like, throw them into that.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's true. And in terms of healing the racism,

• 10:27Speaker 02

  you're not gonna be able to do that, you're just gonna have to be like, I'm gonna be in all these kids' lives. You can't, please don't be racist. And here, here's the reality, if this engaged person is a bit, if she's weird about that, I don't know that this marriage was meant to be anyway, but like, you know, if this is gonna be a weird thing.

• 10:48Speaker 04

  Call me a skeptic, but I have my doubts about their relationship.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  I would have saw it as a rock.

• 10:56Speaker 04

  But the reality of it is, he has four other options.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  Just within this small chasm.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  The raw dogging, man, and whatever we don't, I'm not gonna kick a dog, a man when he's down. I get it. I myself have had some sleepless nights.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  You know, let he was without judgment cast the first stone. Sure, but um, damn dude. All I can say is, yeah, at this point, it's like. You went out with a bang. You're gonna leave a real legacy. You have kids here. All you can do is kind of prepare for these kids' lives and keep at it. Be in their lives as much as possible.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  Figure out how to live on one tenth of your paycheck.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. You might literally start growing your own food. You might need to be a fucking guy that has a farm in the backyard.

• 11:48Speaker 04

  I can hear it in his gruff voice. He's unflappable. You're gonna get through this just okay, buddy.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  I actually do think that. I actually do think that, but I will say.

• 11:57Speaker 04

  It's gonna be easier than you think or something for you.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  Put your head down, whatever. And I would just say like. This is the rest of your life, man. This is the, this is the why. And it's like. All, the only thing that's important is to put the kids first. Do what you can for them, stay in their lives as much as possible. And the rest of it, I, you do sound resourceful. And of all the people this could happen to, this would crush me. I would be gone. I would be. In Greece, under a different name if this happened to me. Uh, but you sound like you can fucking handle it, man. And I respect that. Yeah, I would be my.

• 12:30Speaker 04

  Change your name to?

• 12:31Speaker 02

  I don't know. I, I probably, I need a common name. So I'd have to be like Yanis probably.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  Or Christos.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  Yanis Papadopoulos. Something where they couldn't find me. Yeah, Christos Papadopoulos. Yep, something nice like that.

• 12:46Speaker 04

  Their version of like Kevin Smith or something, you know, like just very John Smith.

• 12:52Speaker 02

  Truly, it is kind of close to that.

• 12:54Speaker 03

  Nikos Stamos.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would be off the grid. I would get different. I would get radical surgery.

• 13:03Speaker 04

  Just a very, very heavy unibrow. That's all you do, though?

• 13:08Speaker 03

  A woman, a woman looks through the Greek phone book and finds fuck Leo Suivlaki.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  I would go to Tur- I would go over to Tur- get a thick hair transplant. I would get a beard transplant. I would be

• 13:22Speaker 05

  Like surgery to be made a lot taller.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  I would do that. I would do that surgery. They break your legs. You're

• 13:29Speaker 02

  That's a good time to lay. I would, I would want to disappear for like a year. I'm just being a fucking hotel, a hotel in Turkey. Healing and then I come back, but full head of hair, full beard. I'm three inches taller. I've gotten liposuction.

• 13:45Speaker 05

  So you have a crazy limp.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  I have a limp. That's a good idea.

• 13:47Speaker 04

  You're 175 pounds?

• 13:49Speaker 02

  Yep. I love it, dude. This isn't so bad, actually. Maybe I'll just do this anyway.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, we, we love you and good for you and you had a, listen, a lot of guys, their lives are ruined by child support. They don't ever have the kind of week you had, man. All right? So just enjoy that. Think about that. Run that back in your head. Where's he calling from? Can we see the, the, oh, it doesn't matter. Oh, yeah.

• 14:16Speaker 02

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 14:19Speaker 05

  Makes sense.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  Makes a lot of sense.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  Three women who are ovulating at the same time, basically.

• 14:26Speaker 04

  But you'd watch them all be roommates.

• 14:38Stavros Halkias?

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• 15:17Stavros Halkias?

  Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STOVE. Terms apply.

• 15:25Speaker 07

  Meeting new people just got way more fun because now you don't have to do it alone. With Tinder's new Double Date feature, you and your bestie can match together. Tap the Double Date icon to see profiles built for two. When two pairs match, the group chat kicks off. Scope the profiles, send memes, keep the chat fun. Hype each other up, flirt a little, maybe plan a hang. It's always better when you're in it together. Try the new Tinder Double Date. Explore all the possibilities. Tinder: It starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today.