Ep 643 - Luis Jobs Gomez (feat. Colum Tyrrell & Luis J. Gomez)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod WATCH Collie's NEW Special on his YouTube NOW! @ https://www.youtube.com/@ColumTyrrell Listen to Cockfight @ https://www.patreon.com/CockFightPod Support Luis @ https://gasdigitalnetwork.com/ Go See Matt Live in NEW JERSEY! @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Colum Live @ https://columtyrrell.com/#tour Go See Luis Live @ https://luisofskanks.com/ Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ pls come to noctis tues hello. Good afternoon everybody. We got the broz in town. Collie the D. A. W. G. and Luiz J - the J stands for Steve Jobs. We cover it all this week tbh ngl. Also Luis molested Lemaire at the end. Collie's special is out now so please watch on his YouTube. Get skankfest tix. Support legion of skanks and the regz etc etc. Please enjoy. God Bless. Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $150 if you win your first $5 lineup! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, Wes.

• 0:01Speaker 01

  Starting now, how's everybody doing? What was, uh, what was really making me laugh though? Before, before you walked in here, I was crying laughing because Louis was talking about his tattoos.

• 0:13Speaker 02

  Well, I was making fun of Big Jay's.

• 0:14Speaker 01

  Well, I didn't want to say that you were trashing him behind his back.

• 0:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I'll say it to his face behind his back.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  He was making fun of his tattoos.

• 0:20Speaker 02

  Big Jay has a tattoo, you know, the, the Jared Leto's Joker, the shitty Joker? He has the ha, ha, ha's and that like, I'm crazy.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 0:28Speaker 02

  Big Jay got the exact same tattoo.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Where?

• 0:30Speaker 02

  On his arms.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  It's tight.

• 0:32Speaker 02

  It's tough. It's brutal.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  It's tough. And he said his tattoos were cool.

• 0:36Speaker 02

  I said mine are super cool.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  He showed me them.

• 0:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got a bunch. I got a bunch.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  We're not gonna, let's save that one.

• 0:42Speaker 02

  We'll save, we'll save that one for the last.

• 0:43Speaker 01

  Show me the one on your right arm.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  This one right here?

• 0:45Speaker 01

  That first, I said, what the fuck's that?

• 0:48Speaker 02

  That is, that is a double pendulum.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 0:50Speaker 02

  Which represents chaos theory.

• 0:53Speaker 01

  Shit.

• 0:53Speaker 02

  So if you drop a double pendulum from any point, it'll never create the same pattern. So just, you know, it's really, it's about my kid. It's about him being born and, you know, my, you know, that seed had to fucking meet that egg at that exact moment. We could have been anywhere in the world. It all just had to happen, you know?

• 1:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's awesome. Now. I'll let the viewers.

• 1:12Speaker 03

  Louis screams chaos.

• 1:13Speaker 02

  Okay, it's super cool.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  Now the other one on the, on your left.

• 1:15Speaker 02

  Which one? This one right here? This is my king of clubs tattoo.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:18Speaker 02

  That I got when I was promoting comedy clubs.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  You got the king of clubs.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Damn dude, that stinks.

• 1:26Speaker 03

  King of comedy clubs?

• 1:31Speaker 01

  How do you feel about that?

• 1:32Speaker 02

  You didn't even get to that one.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  The next one is the craziest. Did that really though, give you extra juice when you were promoting comedy clubs and see the king on your arm?

• 1:41Speaker 02

  They're like, oh dude, we better listen to him. He's the king.

• 1:43Speaker 01

  He's the king of the clubs.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  He's the king.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  Let me stop you right there.

• 1:48Speaker 03

  You, don't you have a matching tattoo with Jay though? You're talking shit about Jay's tattoos.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  No, I do. We have.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  He has the same, they have the two halves of the same tattoo.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  We have, we have, we have a half heart and his says Dave, mine says Smith. And we put our arms together and this is Dave Smith.

• 2:01Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  But they, they got in a weird position where they can't actually touch. They don't actually meet properly, so they kind of just lean together and it's a broken heart.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  It's a shitty artist too. They, like, one heart's bigger than the other heart. It doesn't actually match up.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  That's not anything compared to the one on your left forearm.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  Which one?

• 2:17Speaker 01

  The computer.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  Oh, that one.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  So look at this.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  Show the camera. Show the folks.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  It says goodbye and it's a computer.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  It's an Apple computer.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  What is that for? And it's in memorial of Steve Jobs.

• 2:28Speaker 03

  Or I see. R I P.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Instead of saying hello on the Mac, it says goodbye.

• 2:38Matt McCusker?

  Was that a joke or do you have like an affinity for Steve Jobs?

• 2:41Speaker 01

  He's the king of clubs. Of course he is.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  For real?

• 2:46Speaker 02

  He's the OG king of clubs, Steve Jobs.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Like.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  I love Steve Jobs.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  Steve Jobs.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  He's obsessed with Steve Jobs.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  My dog's name is Apple.

• 2:56Speaker 02

  I have a Steve Jobs quoteograph in my bedroom over my bed. So it's all his quotes that make up his face.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  Really?

• 3:02Matt McCusker?

  I swear to God. You say to like hatin' ass tech guys, I think he's like a poser.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  They wouldn't say it to me. They wouldn't dare.

• 3:08Matt McCusker?

  Sure not to the king of clubs.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  They see my king of clubs tattoo.

• 3:14Matt McCusker?

  I don't know much about him.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  I love the influence Jobs had on you. Just think of that man, Steve Jobs. And then think of a fucking dumbass Puerto Rican from the Bronx getting a fucking computer tattoo. And being like, yo, I love Steve Jobs.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  Steve has rules dude. I started following his daughter to like creep on his daughter, Eve Jobs. Her name's Eve.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Her name is Eve Jobs and she's like a hot chick who like fucking rides horses and shit. She's just like a billionaire.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  You gotta get an Eve tattoo.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  I get an Eve tattoo.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  You gotta get that. Yeah. So you got Steve Jobs quotes. What are you, what are some of your favorite Jobs quotes? Cause you've stared at this poster above your bed how long? And you probably can't retain one quote, can you?

• 3:58Speaker 01

  You don't remember one quote, do you?

• 4:00Speaker 02

  Something about the crazy ones. Yeah. I don't remember. I mean, I just like, I like his face. I like his face that the quotes make up.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  It's just inspirational.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  You just like his look. You like his look.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Can't name one Steve Jobs quote?

• 4:14Speaker 01

  Real?

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Some people would ask for a faster horse.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  There you go. That's a good one.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  If we ask people what they want, that they would have asked for.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  They'd ask for a faster horse.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  Wasn't that Ford?

• 4:23Matt McCusker?

  What's Steve, what's Steve want?

• 4:24Speaker 03

  That's not Steve Jobs, is it?

• 4:26Speaker 02

  That's Steve, yeah.

• 4:26Matt McCusker?

  That's like confused.

• 4:29Matt McCusker?

  I think it's lousy.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  So you can leave a, lead a horse to water.

• 4:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  That's Steve.

• 4:34Matt McCusker?

  Heard that.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:36Speaker 03

  Too many cooks.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Now how stupid do you guys feel?

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Too many apps.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:40Matt McCusker?

  True. What does he want? He doesn't want a fast horse. What kind of horse does he want?

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Well, it's, it's not a Steve Jobs. It's actually not even a Ford quote. They, they attribute it to Henry Ford, but it actually wasn't him. They don't understand it, but they said, if you were to ask the people what they want.

• 4:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 4:53Speaker 02

  They would, they would want a faster horse.

• 4:55Matt McCusker?

  Right, right.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  Meaning that these fucking idiots don't know what they want.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  They don't know.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:59Matt McCusker?

  It's also inspirational.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  Super inspirational. I love an inspirational quote.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  You got any other ones? Cause this is good stuff.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  Any other quotes?

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Well.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Or any other tattoos?

• 5:08Speaker 03

  He has a body brain.

• 5:08Speaker 02

  I got a lot of tattoos.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  Cause I know you have, and it was tough. Cause when he was showing me them and like asking me to ask about each one. It's tough because you've lived such a completely tragic life. I didn't want to step on any landmines. Be like, what's that dumbass one? And be like, that's for my dead mother.

• 5:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 5:24Speaker 01

  Alright, well that one's cool.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  All, all my tattoos are either dumb or funny.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  Your buddy, your buddy's like the Russian mob type of guys where each one has a different story, you know? This is when I was on the streets selling comedy club tickets.

• 5:35Speaker 02

  This is when I tried to get my fans to buy kratom and.

• 5:38Speaker 03

  This is when I was on a lot of coke.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  I don't mind the, the X one.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, the three for life.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  Well, you got one on this side.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  No, that stinks, but that one's alright.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  No, you don't like my three for life?

• 5:49Speaker 01

  Let me see it.

• 5:50Matt McCusker?

  What's three for life about?

• 5:51Speaker 02

  Legion of Skanks, three for life. Same, three of us will always be there for life.

• 5:54Matt McCusker?

  Right off.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  But he's not.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  What?

• 5:59Speaker 01

  But he left.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  Steve has been with the show for 15 years.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  Oh, this is Steve.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, Steve for life.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 6:04Matt McCusker?

  What's this one? What's the X? The X is tight.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  That's just a little, the, the mouth from Legion of Skanks.

• 6:09Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  Mint Mobile.

• 6:13Matt McCusker?

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• 6:19Speaker 01

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• 6:29Matt McCusker?

  Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months. Plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabytes of hotspot. Capable devices required. Availability, speed and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  Incredible.

• 6:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  Shane almost got a Legion of Skanks tattoo at the first Skank Fest. Dude, it drives me out of my mind that that didn't happen.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  Thank goodness.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  You have no tattoos. For you to have the only tattoo on your body to be a Legion of Skanks.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  Like on my hand.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  He was online at Skank Fest one, ready to get it. Who talked you out of it?

• 7:09Speaker 01

  Just two guys.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Two dudes.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  Two guys that were in line. They were also, they were getting tattoos.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  And they're like, come on, man. You don't want to be like us. I was like, yeah, true.

• 7:18Matt McCusker?

  Really? Just two?

• 7:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  Two guys. Oh, yes.

• 7:21Matt McCusker?

  Where were you gonna get it?

• 7:22Speaker 01

  I have no idea. I was shitfaced. I was just looking at him.

• 7:26Matt McCusker?

  You should have got it and sued.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  It would have ruined probably my entire career.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  You everything. You would have, it would have set you off on a trajectory.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Terrible.

• 7:34Matt McCusker?

  You would have had like a Michael Jackson glove. You would have been.

• 7:36Speaker 01

  I would have had to wear a glove. That could actually make me even the most powerful person.

• 7:41Matt McCusker?

  One glove. Pull it off. Like, I can't. I can't. Yeah, that would have been, that would have been crazy if you had the skanks thing on your hand.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Then you just gotta explain that for the rest of your life.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  I had a tough weekend. That was at, at Skank Fest the first time. I think it was the second one ever.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  And, uh, I didn't like any New York comedians. I was sitting there like, I hate these guys. I hate all these guys. I fucking hate New York comedy. Fuck this. And then I went to, uh, Boss's Roast.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  And I watched it and I was like, nevermind. I love this place.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  That's the coolest thing I've ever seen.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  It was the day after Skank Fest?

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:18Speaker 01

  But I was watching you guys trot around Kings of the Castle.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, you hated it. You didn't like it.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  What the fuck? This is weird. I don't like that.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  You loved it.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  Taking shits on stage.

• 8:28Speaker 02

  Shane's acting cool now. Shane was a big fan of Legion of Skanks.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  I love Legion of Skanks, but not that weekend. I was, I got like one spot at like 2:00 PM in the garage in the basement. I was like, I'm, I hate these people. This is crazy. For like five other angry open micers.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  You weren't even on the poster.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  It was devastating. I was furious.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  Enjoy your pittance.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Things have changed though, huh?

• 8:51Speaker 01

  Things have changed.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  Not begging you.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  No, he doesn't have to beg. He actually does the opposite. He threatens me with violence.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  That's how he gets me to go to Skank Fest. He goes, I'll fucking beat your fucking ass.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  I know where you live, you little bitch. I'll dock you. I'll tell everyone.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  Alright, I'll be there.

• 9:06Matt McCusker?

  You should get a steak. You just go for points.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  True, I should be.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  Yeah. Is there equity going at, um, Skank Fest?

• 9:14Speaker 02

  Give me 20%. Of Skank Fest?

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  There's a path.

• 9:19Speaker 03

  That's Steve Jobs. That's a Steve Jobs quote.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  That's Jobs. That's Jobs.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  That's Jobs coming out.

• 9:24Speaker 01

  That's Jobs there.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  That's the king of clubs right there.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  There's a path for that, for you.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  We just gotta get rid of one of the.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  That's in his mind. There is a path for that.

• 9:35Matt McCusker?

  Get rid of one of the three.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  I have another 10% equity because we bought Shane.

• 9:43Matt McCusker?

  You should do a coup.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:45Matt McCusker?

  You could probably get the other two to sign a document to give you all the rights.

• 9:48Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:49Matt McCusker?

  It's worth a try.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  Just trick them.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  We just got, we got, oh, I can't talk about the lawsuit yet until the lawyers tell me that I can. I'm just waiting for the fucking go ahead.

• 9:58Speaker 03

  Can we talk about it?

• 9:59Speaker 02

  There's a lawsuit. Yeah. Yeah.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  I think I know about it. You told everybody.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  It's allegedly.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  My lawyers specifically said, do not talk about this.

• 10:11Matt McCusker?

  Dude, how bad does that make you want to talk about it, though?

• 10:13Speaker 02

  Oh, all I want to do is talk about it.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by PrizePix. Football ball is heating up and PrizePix makes it easy like that. Stay in, stay locked in. Find players with improved search, track your picks with live box scores and find popular picks to copy with one click. So what you on this season, Matt?

• 10:33Matt McCusker?

  What am I on this season?

• 10:34Speaker 01

  Who's having the most surprising performance this season so far for you?

• 10:37Matt McCusker?

  I've been upset about the big injury for the Eagles, honestly. So I'm wishing, I'm wishing it hurts the best.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  Nice. That's what Matt's on.

• 10:44Matt McCusker?

  I'm on, that's what I'm on, like more like thinking about it, more to like how's the person doing. Yeah.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 10:49Matt McCusker?

  Exactly.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  That's what we do here.

• 10:50Matt McCusker?

  That's what I'm on, that's what I'm on this season. I'm watching my own.

• 10:55Matt McCusker?

  Guys, download the app today and use code DRENCH to get $150 instantly in lineups. If you win your first $5 lineup, that's code DRENCH to get $150 instantly in lineups. If you win your first $5 lineup. PrizePix, run your game. Guys, oh God, the dreaded show approaches. Guys, please, for the love of God. Well, first I gotta do the Florida run. That's Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Orlando. Looking decent. I'm feeling all right about those. Newark, New Jersey. I really don't know what we're gonna do. We're dropping curtains. We're dropping curtains, guys. Come out, we'll have a good time. Watch me sweat in a giant room. Baltimore, Maryland, Columbus, Ohio,

• 11:38Matt McCusker?

  Cincinnati, Ohio, San Diego, and of course, ball Sacramento at the very end with more dates to come. Thank you, guys.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Do you think of yourself, are you a bit like Jobs?

• 11:49Speaker 02

  A little bit.

• 11:50Matt McCusker?

  I would say, yeah.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:52Matt McCusker?

  Jobs like?

• 11:53Speaker 02

  I play, I play the orchestra.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:55Speaker 03

  You play the orchestra?

• 11:56Speaker 02

  I play the orchestra.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 11:58Speaker 01

  Did that come out how you wanted it?

• 11:59Speaker 03

  Is that an expression?

• 12:01Speaker 02

  Jobs.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  Play the orchestra.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  You never saw the Jobs movie?

• 12:04Matt McCusker?

  No, I never really cared to lick for Jobs, if I'm being honest.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  That's insane.

• 12:08Speaker 03

  Aston Coach.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  That's actually crazy. Not the Kutcher one, the Michael Fassbender one, obviously.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  Aston Coach is the great.

• 12:14Matt McCusker?

  Never even thought, I've never even thought about.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  You should, you should just binge watch Jobs movies tonight. Compare the Kutcher one to the Fassbender one.

• 12:22Matt McCusker?

  I'm more of a Zuckerberg guy.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  That's nice.

• 12:25Matt McCusker?

  Zuck's more my speed.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  Zuck dominates Jobs.

• 12:28Matt McCusker?

  Zuck's still here. Zuck would beat the fuck out of Jobs.

• 12:30Speaker 02

  You guys are fucking just sucking on the teat of the Rogan sphere. You get it.

• 12:34Matt McCusker?

  I'm just putting it out. Zuck's still here.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  Dude, if Jobs is around, he would completely disrespect the Rogan sphere.

• 12:40Speaker 01

  You're scoring Reddit points with that, Louis. Congrats. Get your updates. Get the commenters.

• 12:48Matt McCusker?

  Even Louis has opened his eyes.

• 12:51Speaker 02

  Louis is outside the walled garden.

• 12:53Matt McCusker?

  Louis is hatching from his eggs.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Finally. No, it's, it's just fun to say that Zuck would beat up your favorite guy.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  Zuck would probably fuck up Jobs.

• 13:05Matt McCusker?

  I might have talked about that.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  Zuck does jiu-jitsu now.

• 13:07Matt McCusker?

  Not even talk about that.

• 13:08Speaker 03

  And Jobs had cancer.

• 13:09Matt McCusker?

  That's whatever. I'm talking about his business. He's, I mean, A, he's still here.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  He destroyed the entire world. That's, he's a beast.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Who?

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Zuckerberg. He literally destroyed the earth.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 13:20Speaker 01

  He ruined every single person.

• 13:21Speaker 02

  What, because he created Facebook?

• 13:23Speaker 03

  Facebook, yeah.

• 13:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, it was the beginning of the end.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, Jobs did the device, Zuck made it slap.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:31Matt McCusker?

  Zuck did the software.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:33Matt McCusker?

  The apps.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. I don't know anything. I don't know one thing.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  You don't know anything about it.

• 13:40Matt McCusker?

  Trying to think what entrepreneur I would say I most admire. I'm more into pimps, honestly.

• 13:45Speaker 02

  You're more into pimps.

• 13:46Matt McCusker?

  I'm more into pimps.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  You remind me of Zuck, area of Musk, though. You got a little Musk to you.

• 13:53Matt McCusker?

  My mind is like a storm, actually.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  It is. You have a become meme.

• 14:00Matt McCusker?

  I can see me being more Musk than anything.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  Trying to think, oh, you could be, you could be Bezos, dude, just launching some bitches into space. That's pimp shit, though.

• 14:09Matt McCusker?

  That is pimp shit. Bezos is pimping. What do you think about pimps, Louis?

• 14:15Speaker 02

  My dad was a pimp.

• 14:17Matt McCusker?

  Really? Was he a finesse pimp or a gorilla pimp?

• 14:21Speaker 02

  I don't know what that means.

• 14:22Matt McCusker?

  Did he have to force the hose?

• 14:23Speaker 03

  If you're at the gas, what do you think? If you're at the gas.

• 14:26Matt McCusker?

  Gorilla pimping's like using force, finesse pimp is just using game.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Uh, I don't really know. He died before I have memories of him.

• 14:33Matt McCusker?

  You should ask.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  But he, no, he was, he was actually a pimp.

• 14:36Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:36Matt McCusker?

  How many hoes he have?

• 14:38Speaker 02

  I don't know. But the, the night he got murdered, he was literally pimping.

• 14:41Matt McCusker?

  Oh shit. He didn't know he got murdered? I knew he got murdered.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  I guess it's not.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  You didn't know he got murdered?

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:46Matt McCusker?

  I was saying, oh shit, because it's really improper to murder a pimp like that.

• 14:50Speaker 01

  I'm gonna say that joke again. It's not easy.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  Your dad found out the hard way. It certainly is not easy.

• 14:55Matt McCusker?

  I didn't know your dad was pimping. Because you got the game flowing through your veins.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  You do have the game flowing.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  Do gorilla pimps and finesse pimps, can they overlap? Like, sometimes the gorilla comes out? Or is it like that kind of different technique?

• 15:10Speaker 02

  But sometimes if the finesse stops working, there's a moment you have to cross over to gorilla.

• 15:14Speaker 01

  Once you're into gorilla, I think you're just, that's it.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  But if you're in finesse, do you ever just like, you know?

• 15:19Matt McCusker?

  You could.

• 15:19Speaker 03

  Saturday night, gorilla came out.

• 15:21Matt McCusker?

  True pimps, true pimps say you never have to use force whatsoever.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  I feel like, though, if you grow, go gorilla once, then, then you go, this is a lot easier than finesse.

• 15:32Matt McCusker?

  You try to put that back in the bottle.

• 15:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, it's tough.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  If you're a gorilla pimp and you try to finesse a bitch, then they're gonna think you're soft. Then you gotta double down on your gorilla pimp.

• 15:39Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, you look like an idiot.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, you look like a pussy, dude. They're gonna start taking advantage of you.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  What, what are finesse techniques? Just go, hey, you look great when you go prostituting.

• 15:49Matt McCusker?

  You just expand these bitches' minds.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  Instead of having no money, you could have a little money.

• 15:56Matt McCusker?

  You just teach them, bro.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  You love, you love bomb them.

• 15:58Matt McCusker?

  Exactly.

• 15:59Speaker 02

  You say nice things about them, you fucking tell them they're beautiful, you know. That's it. I get it. Whatever you guys say.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  There used to be, there used to be a thing in technique in Harlem back in the day. And they would, but why was that funny? But it was, and.

• 16:14Matt McCusker?

  Which is funny.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  They would get these new girls who just moved to New York and they'd move them to an apartment and everything's nice. And then when you'd bring them out for dinner, your friends would go in and steal all their shit. And then when you came back, you were like, oh, God.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  Me and Dave Smith used to do that. We would like, well, one of, well, one of us were hooking up with the girl in the bedroom, the other one would rifle through her purse and steal her money.

• 16:35Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 16:36Speaker 02

  Future libertarian presidential candidate, Dave Smith.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  That's a free market. That's.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  That was three for life.

• 16:42Speaker 03

  That's a free market right there.

• 16:43Speaker 02

  Dave Smith has nothing to do with Legion of Kings.

• 16:46Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:49Speaker 02

  But yeah, that was a, you know.

• 16:51Speaker 03

  But then did you pimp out, did you pimp out these girls after you stole all their?

• 16:53Speaker 01

  We break up, dude.

• 16:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  I'm gonna ruin your presidential campaign.

• 16:59Matt McCusker?

  I've been planning my backstab. My backstab's gonna be so nice.

• 17:06Matt McCusker?

  Um, actually.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:07Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna do a fall dark.

• 17:08Speaker 01

  Some video. Oh.

• 17:10Speaker 02

  Matt, did you have a bachelor party when you got married?

• 17:13Matt McCusker?

  Both times, yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  You've been married twice?

• 17:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I had two bachelor parties.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 17:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. But yeah, I had a bachelor. Why, why do you ask?

• 17:20Speaker 02

  Because I was thinking about if I ever got married, I was like, I'd want to do a bachelor party, but I don't know who would, like, I would have to plan my own bachelor party. Like, nobody else in my world can plan. You'll plan it for me?

• 17:30Matt McCusker?

  I would love to.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:31Matt McCusker?

  You'll think Jay would plan your bachelor party, too?

• 17:33Speaker 02

  Jay's, Jay's the easiest person I've ever met my entire life.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Three for life.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  I mean, god damn, loyalty's crazy. Uh, no, I'd love to plan it. I don't, I don't have to go, but I'll plan it. I'm gonna put you guys in a rocket like Bezos. I'll watch you and your dumbass god friends in outer space.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  Dude, it's a surprise.

• 17:56Speaker 03

  There's so much coke in space. It's gonna be the best coke ever.

• 18:00Matt McCusker?

  Do we need to put it on something? It's just in the air? What would your ideal bachelor party be? Would you be more like friends, conversation steak, or would you be wilding out?

• 18:10Speaker 02

  I feel like it's your last opportunity to fucking really wild out.

• 18:13Speaker 03

  You gotta, you gotta pull that out.

• 18:15Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 18:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, you gotta bring out the old.

• 18:20Speaker 02

  She knows.

• 18:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but like, okay.

• 18:24Speaker 02

  You'd want, you want to get wild.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  We had a great time. I mean, I had.

• 18:27Speaker 02

  What'd you guys do at your bachelor party?

• 18:29Speaker 01

  We went to a cabin. I took some molly and about eight grams of mushrooms.

• 18:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, Shane did. Shane really fucking, he had the Bezos. Shane did the Bezos shuttle.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  Shane's crying and he shit his pants.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  I laid down, I met my father in heaven.

• 18:49Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  Then got sent back down to earth again. My dad's alive.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  It's so good to see you.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 18:59Speaker 01

  And I woke up and sat next to Billy. He said, now that's what I call a party. After everyone watched me like.

• 19:07Matt McCusker?

  You held it together pretty good.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  I was just.

• 19:09Matt McCusker?

  I mean, for being like, you had like, at one point, you had like, almost like a spider's eyes, you were saying, like, everything was in like.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  Well, there was a nice, there was a nice moment where the mushrooms were like, as high as they possibly could be without complete incapacitation. So it was like, everyone's face was like multiple eyes, multiple heads. And I was like, holy shit. And then I went and sat by the fire and zero depth perception. I was like, I don't know where I am.

• 19:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, your feet are, your feet are burning.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  I don't remember where I am. And then I was like, damn, this is what Alzheimer's is like. This is hell.

• 19:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 19:42Speaker 01

  And then.

• 19:43Speaker 02

  There's a moment where it's like mushrooms are coming on too strong and you kind of do one of these like.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. During this period, one of my older cousins was like leaning over him like, dude, I can't believe you got fired from SNL.

• 19:57Speaker 01

  It was crazy. He sat next to me, I'm looking at a fire and he's so obnoxious, he just goes, I can't believe you got fired from Saturday Night Live.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  Shut the fuck up, dude.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  I'm in heaven talking to my dad.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  He's like, oh, you're a comedian? Tell me a joke.

• 20:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he can, and it's not even trying. He wasn't even trying to be like funny. He was just punishing.

• 20:27Speaker 01

  That's how he is. He is a punisher. But we, and, but he got his. He got his. Billy had him on the ropes. He was like, dude, turn your hat backwards.

• 20:37Matt McCusker?

  Well, he got kind of geeked out, he got geeked out on Molly. And it like, it really didn't agree with him.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  What?

• 20:43Speaker 01

  He was just being a pussy. He was like, he took some Molly and then he started getting high and was like, oh my god, is it too much? And we were all just like, yeah, pussy.

• 20:51Speaker 03

  I didn't know that was possible.

• 20:52Matt McCusker?

  I, I, the onset, I feel like the onset can be a little bit much, but like, he, like, maybe thirty minutes before, he was upstairs telling me how his mind is a steel trap and nothing can penetrate it. I go downstairs and he's like, oh, this isn't good at all.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  He's like, do I need help?

• 21:09Matt McCusker?

  And my brother, he had his hat like this. My brother's like, bro, turn your hat around, bro. That is not varsity behavior. Turn it around. And Billy, dude, turn your, and he just kept going like this.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  Good boy. That's what I thought, pussy. You do what I say, bitch.

• 21:25Matt McCusker?

  He completely MK-Ulted him. My little brother MK-Ulted him really badly.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  The other guys, one guy going upstairs being like, I don't feel anything. And he was in his room screaming. He laid down like.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  It was crazy. I took DMT. I took DMT the night before.

• 21:48Matt McCusker?

  Also, like, small dose DMT is the most unpleasant thing possible.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  It was just me and the bees. The bees was ripping it, dude.

• 21:56Speaker 03

  Bro, he is a DMT fiend.

• 21:58Speaker 01

  The bees was ripping it.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  He likes DMT?

• 22:00Speaker 01

  He did. I don't think he still does. He went through a phase.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  I tried, tried to break through in DMT a few times. And it's like, you get to the point where it's like, you're sitting there and your neck is like cranking. You see the devil staring right at your ear. And then the person you're with, they're like, dude, take another hit. You gotta break through.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  You're coughing your lungs out.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  It's the scariest thing, dude. I was in Big Jay's house. We took, we had a, we had a pen with DMT, hard. You gotta keep on hitting it. You gotta keep on hitting it. Dude, at one point, I'm sitting there, I hit it so many times, the furniture all came alive, like Peewee's Playhouse, and started chomping at me. I was like, oh. There was nothing enjoyable about it at all.

• 22:39Matt McCusker?

  You're also, your heart starts beating really weird. I don't know if I was just hallucinating, but I felt like it was like, like a cartoon, like boom, boom, boom, like, oh my god. It was, I did the same thing. I tried it the first time and I was like, like a vegetable, just like, I was in the room, but I was like, ah. And then my brother's like, dude, okay, do it again, but more this time. And I was like, and I did, it actually worked, but it was just like, I.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  You broke through? Did you like lose the sense of time and space?

• 23:05Matt McCusker?

  It felt like somebody.

• 23:06Speaker 02

  Did you see the fucking, like, the purple alien people?

• 23:08Matt McCusker?

  It was, I, what I saw was a jester on a checkered tile floor.

• 23:12Speaker 02

  That's the thing, it's just a jester.

• 23:13Matt McCusker?

  Made fun of me. The whole, it was like, you are such a fucking loser. And I was like, no.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  He's sounding like he's making fun of you. He's just being mean.

• 23:20Speaker 02

  I just got bullied the whole time. I can't believe she's gonna marry you, you fucking bum.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  You suck so much. I'm just kidding with you. I'm just fucking with you.

• 23:27Matt McCusker?

  It's like, you're a loser, you're an idiot. And then it was just me, just, it felt like I was on a roller coaster after that, just like flying through stuff. And I came back like.

• 23:35Speaker 03

  I had a roommate do it and he spas, started running around the house, knocking things over. He tried to jump off the balcony. And I, this was like just four PM. I'm just like in my room and I just hear, ah. What? And he's like, ah, knocking shit over. And I had to pull him down. And I was like, what the fuck is going on?

• 23:50Matt McCusker?

  It is not chill.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  He goes, you gotta try this.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  There's nothing pleasant about it at all.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  You gotta watch bees riff in it. And bees just jams it. And every once in a while, you see when it hits him, he's like.

• 24:01Matt McCusker?

  Well, my.

• 24:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  Just right back.

• 24:03Matt McCusker?

  One of my brothers was all about changa, which is when you take the DMT and put it into an herb so you can kind of smoke it like weed. And he was like, it's so sick, like just smoking a little bit of DMT and you pass the pipe around. And I was like, this is not sick. It tastes weird. It tastes horrible. It's just like, you're just like an elf with your brother for like a minute. You're like, why are we elves right now? We don't have to be elves. We can, we can just chill.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  Did I tell you about the time I did it? And I came, whatever, I, I set up a camera because I was, because I've done it, I've done it before. And then after.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  Hey guys, I'm gonna smoke you.

• 24:37Speaker 03

  Hey, like, share, subscribe. I'm trying DMT. I'm trying to break through.

• 24:40Matt McCusker?

  Why did you camera it?

• 24:41Speaker 03

  Because when you come out of it, you gotta talk about everything you've seen because it will disappear like a dream, right? So, and I've done it before and I forget everything. I set up the camera and I smoke it and I come out. And then I just had this, the worst like shame I've ever felt in my life. And I cried, like balled my eyes out crying for thirty minutes, like howling like an old black lady at church, like at a funeral. And then I just like.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Tell me you didn't delete that.

• 25:07Speaker 03

  I have it somewhere. Just me, me on the couch.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  Send it to everybody.

• 25:12Matt McCusker?

  That should be your promo. That should be your promo for every show you do on the road.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  Have your date.

• 25:19Speaker 02

  I'm worthless.

• 25:21Speaker 03

  Oh god, I feel so ashamed.

• 25:24Matt McCusker?

  That's awesome.

• 25:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I haven't touched it since. I haven't gone back. I don't even know why I felt bad. I just came out feeling horrible. Reaching for the camera.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  I was like, this is gonna be a cool video. The most worst thing I've ever done.

• 25:45Matt McCusker?

  That's the funniest thing ever.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  I remember one time, you remember those one chip challenges were really popular for a minute? It was like one, it was like one potato chip and it's got like, whatever the Scoville rating is. It's like the, and every year they come out with a newer chip and it's hotter than the last year. Some kid died like three years ago. They just discontinued the one chip, like the one chip challenge now. Some kid literally died from a potato chip.

• 26:06Speaker 03

  Right. Well, he probably had a heart attack or something.

• 26:11Speaker 02

  Something happened to this potato chip and he died.

• 26:13Speaker 03

  He died doing what he loved. Making content.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  I remember like, uh, this is like probably one of my most evil moments. Like my sister, she always like needs money. So I was like, alright.

• 26:25Matt McCusker?

  Eat one of these chips.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  I'll give you twenty dollars, but you gotta.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  This is like just like.

• 26:36Matt McCusker?

  How much, how much?

• 26:36Speaker 02

  I have money. What would you do to entertain me?

• 26:39Matt McCusker?

  How much is, how much was she asking for?

• 26:41Speaker 02

  I wanted, maybe it was a hundred bucks for this one. Dude, it was.

• 26:45Matt McCusker?

  He gave her like the gas station crackhead treatment?

• 26:49Speaker 02

  People do this. It was like bum fights. I was like, fight this other homeless woman for my entertainment.

• 26:58Speaker 01

  I've been on the receiving end of that, but we've talked about it a bunch. My family, my family made me do an Easter egg hunt with the kids. They, I didn't have any money. They hid money in some of the Easter eggs. And they're like, if you want money, you can go out with the little kids. I was like, twenty eight.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  Knocking them out of your way.

• 27:17Speaker 02

  But I felt so bad. Like she literally, she's, and she's like, you know, she got a glass of milk. She's like, puking and snorting it out of her nose. She's crying. Like I'm videotaping, it's stopping funny after ten seconds. And I was like, oh, I feel bad. I'd never did anything with the video. I was just like, no, we're not gonna, we're never gonna talk about this again. This is the first time I've talked about this.

• 27:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's fucked up.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  Fucked up, dude.

• 27:40Matt McCusker?

  I mean, a spice prank is funny. Those are so funny. Just hitting someone with like Armageddon hot sauce and just watching them have a mental breakdown. We used to do it on pizza in college. We would put it, like the super hot sauce under the cheese and then like spin the pie around. It was like Russian roulette, whoever got it. One person would get it and they'd start sweating.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Some of those college pranks get out of control. I don't know if this was true, but there was, they said in, where I went to college, someone went to a party, took the butter out of the fridge, melted it in the microwave, took a shit in the butter, put it back in the fridge, started it rehardened.

• 28:16Speaker 03

  Cooked it, shit in the butter. So then, but so then you don't even know the shit.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Somebody's shitting the butter.

• 28:21Speaker 03

  But you don't know until you're spreading it on your toast and suddenly you get into the middle layer. There's a lump of shit in there.

• 28:27Matt McCusker?

  It was in case, there was a turning case.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  So that's why you melt it so that it will like sink to the bottom.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  That's a beautiful prank.

• 28:31Speaker 03

  So you're really.

• 28:32Matt McCusker?

  That's almost urban legend. That's crazy.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  I, I hope it's true, you know?

• 28:36Matt McCusker?

  A shit in the butter is crazy.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  A shit in the butter is. That's our haze, that's our haze.

• 28:42Matt McCusker?

  That's Irish, that's Kukuland did that, dude. That's Irish.

• 28:47Speaker 03

  The legend of the shiten butter. The Leinster High Kings.

• 28:54Speaker 03

  You're nothing but shit in the butter.

• 28:56Matt McCusker?

  That definitely broke up two warring kingdoms.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  It's just a prank. They went to war. A battle.

• 29:05Matt McCusker?

  Irish mythology is the best.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  It's a lot of fun.

• 29:08Matt McCusker?

  It's so funny. It's literally just like, and then the dude was so strong and he beat everybody up.

• 29:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:13Matt McCusker?

  And his fucking dick. There one, I read one, it was like, he had a fine set of genitals on him. You're like, whoa, what the fuck? Why'd you write that? And he had a fine set of genitals.

• 29:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, well.

• 29:23Speaker 01

  Trying to find a picture of me doing the Easter egg hunt. Sorry, couldn't find it.

• 29:27Speaker 02

  That's so funny.

• 29:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it could cool in rules. When he jumped in the fucking river to cool himself down, he would get so hot from battle. He'd go into the river and just boil the water. Awesome.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  I don't think I've even, I don't think I've heard that one.

• 29:40Matt McCusker?

  It's cool.

• 29:40Speaker 03

  I know he, he.

• 29:41Matt McCusker?

  It's cool. I think about every time I jump into a pool, I'm like.

• 29:45Speaker 03

  He, he killed a wolf when he was a kid with the, with the Schlitter and the Hurley.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  What the fuck's a Schlitter and a Hurley?

• 29:51Speaker 03

  It's like a, you don't know what a Schlitter is?

• 29:53Speaker 01

  Schlitter is when you take a dump in the bottom.

• 29:56Speaker 02

  I don't know where a Schlitter.

• 29:57Speaker 03

  Schlitter, I hardly know. Schlitter is the, it's like a baseball that we play sports with, Schlitter. And then he whacked the baseball off the wolf's face and then he became king.

• 30:06Speaker 01

  He had a fucking dog in the head with a baseball.

• 30:09Speaker 03

  No, he's the king.

• 30:10Speaker 02

  He's the king.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  The guy, he's the strongest man alive.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  He was a little bug.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  Being the dog.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  It's his shit little dog.

• 30:20Speaker 03

  Cinder block.

• 30:21Speaker 02

  It's like, oh, oh, oh, I am the king?

• 30:25Speaker 03

  I'm the king now.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  Everyone's like, why would you do that?

• 30:32Speaker 01

  Everyone's doing nothing.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  Everyone hates that guy.

• 30:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, Ireland rules.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  Nah, he rerolled.

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Throw in a bullet, throw in a baseball at a dog's head.

• 30:41Speaker 03

  And then that gets passed down and.

• 30:43Speaker 01

  Well, Mary, you could have been king in Ireland. That's some shit you would do.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  Hurt an animal for no reason. He did squeeze the frog. That's, it makes you.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  Have you ever hurt, have you guys ever hurt an animal?

• 30:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 30:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  You said it like you've been living with the regret.

• 31:01Matt McCusker?

  No, I've talked about it. We used to like dissect frogs when I was little. We would catch them at a pond.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  In school.

• 31:06Matt McCusker?

  No, like, not in school. We would catch them at the pond and we'd break up a soda can and just like pull its heart. I remember I've, I've held a frog's.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  Did you kill it first or you dissected him alive?

• 31:13Matt McCusker?

  Alive, unfortunately.

• 31:14Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 31:15Speaker 03

  Does it, what, what noises it make?

• 31:17Matt McCusker?

  I don't think frog really, didn't really do much. We used to catch catfish and put fireworks in their gills and blow their heads off.

• 31:23Speaker 03

  That's kind of funny though.

• 31:24Matt McCusker?

  That was kind of sick.

• 31:25Speaker 03

  That's, I kind of don't feel bad about that.

• 31:27Speaker 01

  Guys, we'd go out and shoot birds and squirrels and shit.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  I had a one pump handgun BB gun and uh, it was, it was just, you know, one pump, you know, you fucking, it was pretty shitty BB gun. There was a bird on a, a line. Watch this, guys. And I shot it. It bounced off his chest. The bird went.

• 31:49Speaker 02

  Didn't even fly.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  God, dude, dude.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, we got a groundhog once with a BB gun. That was not good.

• 31:59Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:00Speaker 01

  It was just hurting the thing. It wasn't.

• 32:02Speaker 02

  Damn, wasn't killing it?

• 32:03Speaker 01

  It was really fucked up.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:05Matt McCusker?

  I didn't think.

• 32:06Speaker 01

  That was like a evil thing me and my friends did.

• 32:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. My, my, I remember when I was little, my dad would like take me with him to uh, he would have these like voles in his garden, like little, I guess they're moles, I don't know what they are. And he would put smoke bombs in like their holes so that it came out of one. He would, I would watch him. He was fucking blow its head off with a nine millimeter. Got him. Like, nice.

• 32:26Speaker 02

  Dude, I'm gonna do that to the fucking deer in my neighborhood, dude. They eat my hydrangeas.

• 32:30Matt McCusker?

  Mmm.

• 32:31Speaker 02

  So I want to just fucking come out and just fucking bang, right in the fucking shit.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  Deer in the head.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  Right in the head, dude. Leave its body on the fucking lawn.

• 32:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they'll fuck, they'll fuck your landscaping up.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  Oh my God, they're terrible, dude.

• 32:42Matt McCusker?

  I was talking to Rochefort. He said he put it like a ton of flowers in his, his uh, landscape in his garden. And it was just like, oh, these nice roses. He said, he just watched week by week, the deer just destroyed.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  You have to destroy all the, they love to eat nice flowers, dude. I told Rochefort about that too. He said, he was like, I want to, I was talking about, I want to shoot the deer in the head. He was like, I don't, he was like, I don't want to do that. He's like, I just want to spray paint faggot on its body.

• 33:07Speaker 02

  Go off. People are gonna see it, like, say faggot on the side of that deer.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  Oh, look, it's a deer. No, don't look, don't look. No, darling, don't look.

• 33:17Matt McCusker?

  He might be one of the funniest dudes.

• 33:19Speaker 02

  He's the best, dude. He's, I love him. He's the fucking man. He's so funny and such a good dude.

• 33:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 33:24Speaker 02

  It's like, if you have, if you have anything that like a man should know about, you just call him.

• 33:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  Cars, houses.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  Honestly, like a gay guy should know about.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  He does like interior design.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  I know. He told me he was helping you with your, with your shit.

• 33:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's so good at it.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, right.

• 33:38Speaker 02

  His house is fucking dope.

• 33:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, any, I love torturing him with car. I'd be like, yo, I think, I'm thinking about getting the Jeep Gladiator, the Jeep pickup truck. And he'll be like, bro, what the fuck are you fucking?

• 33:50Speaker 02

  I did the same thing when I was buying a car a couple of years ago. I was like, dude, I'm thinking about getting a uh, what are the ones? They're, they're like fucking V8, like um.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  You would get a Charger or?

• 34:00Speaker 02

  Like a Charger, yeah, it was a Charger. And he was like, a Charger.

• 34:02Speaker 01

  King of the club.

• 34:03Speaker 02

  He's like, what are you, a cop? Charger?

• 34:06Speaker 01

  You should have a Charger.

• 34:07Speaker 02

  He's gotta get an Acura all wheel drive, Lexus all wheel drive, nine, uh, 2019 and above. And he was so specific with it. I almost, when I got the sword pulled on me, that was because of Rochefort. That was because of Rochefort.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  I was gonna say.

• 34:21Matt McCusker?

  Why?

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, because I went, I went to the car dealership and I wanted to buy an Acura TLX. I came in with $30,000 in cash. Literally in cash, to a little shitty car dealership in Queens. And I was like, yeah, I saw this, it was like, it was $22,000 it was listed at. It was like really dope. It was a nice car. Um, and I was like, yeah, I'd just like to test drive it. And the African guy at the car dealership was like, no test driving. I was like, what? Like, I'm not gonna buy the car without driving it. And then he was just like being really weird and standoffish. Then I did the research afterwards and this is like, it was all bait and switch and all these like extra fees. They were, it was like a scam car dealership. But then I get on the phone with Rochefort. I was like, I'm calling my dad. I was like, he won't let me test drive the car. Rochefort was like, put the guy on the phone with me.

• 35:03Speaker 03

  Put the guy on the phone to me.

• 35:04Speaker 02

  And then the African guy's like arguing with Rochefort and then he puts him on speakerphone and he's like, so fuck you, buddy. You fucking suck. I'll kick your fucking ass. He got the guy over.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Lewis on your end going, what's he saying? What's he saying?

• 35:16Speaker 02

  And then the guy started arguing with me and I was like, fuck, I was like, fuck you, but I'll break your fucking jaw. I said that. And he's like, oh yeah? You'll break my jaw? Then he went into his office and he pulled out a fucking katana. Yeah.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  That's a pretty sick move though. You know, he's been, he uses that every day.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  Body cam footage.

• 35:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, we got the body cam footage.

• 35:31Speaker 03

  What?

• 35:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I called the cops.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  Did your attitude change very quickly when you saw a gigantic?

• 35:37Speaker 01

  Became.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  Not really, no, no, no. I was still talking shit, but I was, as I was backing out slowly.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  You were a bit of a Karen with the police.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  If a man pulls a sword on you, are you not supposed to act like a Karen? It's not a Karen move to say, oh, I need to call the cops now. You've pulled a sword on me.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  You're kind of making a big deal out of nothing.

• 35:55Matt McCusker?

  Sword at the ready.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  You should have had your blade.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  I should have had my blade.

• 35:58Matt McCusker?

  Just pulled a little bit out and went.

• 36:00Speaker 03

  Without a shield.

• 36:01Matt McCusker?

  If your sword fought him for the car, that'd have been nasty.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:04Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy. He went general butt naked on your ass?

• 36:06Speaker 01

  He really did, dude.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, he did.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  He really did.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  Okay, time for our fun little what you want segment presented by PrizePix. The NBA is back on PrizePix. Pick a shootout in the West and a boards battle in the East. Pick it all on PrizePix. Available nationwide. And just because hoops are back, doesn't mean football is slowing down. You can make your prize. You can make your basketball picks and your football picks and put them all in the same lineup.

• 36:36Matt McCusker?

  I love to put all those guys, man.

• 36:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. Put them all right in your lineup. Everyone and everything is on PrizePix. So what you want this NBA season, Matthew?

• 36:45Matt McCusker?

  Hmm, are you doing a boards battle in the East? Oh, man. You know, I like, I like Maxie crashing the boards. He's been getting.

• 36:51Speaker 01

  Maxie getting some boards.

• 36:52Matt McCusker?

  He's been crashing it. Not a lot. I'll go, I'll go, I'll go less on the boards on it, but he's getting boards.

• 36:58Speaker 01

  No, I mean, I.

• 36:59Matt McCusker?

  Just throw up.

• 36:59Speaker 01

  He's not afraid to crash the boards. I don't, I don't mind that pick.

• 37:02Matt McCusker?

  He'll hit the boards every now and again.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  The boards.

• 37:03Matt McCusker?

  He'll follow the shot.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  All right. Well, that's what Matt's on.

• 37:06Matt McCusker?

  And the West, I'm not gonna talk about the West. That's not my territory. Let's not speak on that.

• 37:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:11Matt McCusker?

  So let's be respectful here. Branded outro. Making your picks on PrizePix is super simple. Just pick two.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  Two to six guys.

• 37:20Matt McCusker?

  Pick more or less on their stats and submit your lineup. Then watch your picks play out live and get locked into the action all season long.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Like if it was us, I would go more, less, more, less, less, less.

• 37:37Matt McCusker?

  Hell yeah. Appreciate that.

• 37:42Speaker 01

  If that was just me putting together a lineup.

• 37:45Matt McCusker?

  Download the app today and use code DRENCHED to get $150 instantly in lineups if you win your first $5 lineup. That's code DRENCHED to get $150 instantly in lineups if you win your first $5 lineup. PrizePix, run your game. That's wild. I've only seen one guy brandish a sword angrily and it wasn't at me, but it was, he like came down the steps into his basement and he had been arguing with someone. It was an Asian guy. And he came down the steps screaming the N word and just waving a Samurai sword. It was the first time I met him and I was like, yo, what the fuck is going on here? He owned an auto body shop and someone beat him on, didn't pay him back on something.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. He was mad at an Asian man?

• 38:24Matt McCusker?

  He was an Asian man mad at a black guy. The first time I ever really met him, came down the steps screaming the N word, just brandishing a sword. And I was like, damn, I'm gonna die in here. This is.

• 38:33Speaker 03

  That Asian guy comes at you, do you automatically assume he knows how to use it?

• 38:37Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 38:37Speaker 03

  More, more than your African friend.

• 38:40Speaker 02

  I assume a black guy knows how to use a sword, I gotta be honest with you.

• 38:42Matt McCusker?

  I could see that too.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, black guys love like Samurai shit.

• 38:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 38:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:48Speaker 01

  La Mer, are you good at swords?

• 38:50Speaker 03

  How's your sword?

• 38:50Speaker 01

  I know you think you're good at swords.

• 38:52Matt McCusker?

  His Chinese letters on his fucking shirt.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  You're good at staff.

• 38:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I could see him, but. What's, what did Raphael have? I could see him with some size.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Some size, yeah.

• 39:02Matt McCusker?

  Some size.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  I think he probably had some. Did you own some at any point? I had swords. You had swords?

• 39:08Speaker 02

  The only like, it's either you're like cra- like you're a ninja and you're crazy good with Chinese weapons or ninja weapons, or you're like a fucking fat dork.

• 39:19Speaker 03

  Which one are you there?

• 39:20Speaker 02

  You're fucking.

• 39:21Speaker 01

  La Mer, you're good.

• 39:22Speaker 03

  Which one are you?

• 39:23Speaker 02

  No, I'm not saying you. I'm saying in general, the only people, the only people who buy ninja weapons are ninjas and fat dorks.

• 39:31Speaker 01

  La Mer.

• 39:32Speaker 03

  But then not you though.

• 39:32Speaker 01

  This will not stand.

• 39:34Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy.

• 39:35Speaker 02

  La Mer said he thinks he can beat me up.

• 39:38Speaker 03

  He might be able to.

• 39:38Speaker 01

  You said I can't.

• 39:40Speaker 02

  I know you can.

• 39:41Speaker 01

  You said.

• 39:41Speaker 03

  I think you, you could get him down.

• 39:42Speaker 02

  Somebody asked me on a podcast, how many La Mer's would it take to beat me up? And he said two, and I think I could take two La Mer's.

• 39:50Matt McCusker?

  No, no way dude.

• 39:51Speaker 02

  No, come on.

• 39:52Matt McCusker?

  We could literally run this experiment. Him and his brother could.

• 39:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. You're not gonna like how that fight ends though.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  Your brother, yeah, La Mer's brother might take what's his when he's done.

• 40:02Matt McCusker?

  True. He might claim a prize.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  La Mer, is your brother the same like stature?

• 40:08Speaker 01

  A little bit. He used to be, yeah.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  Who's tougher, you or your brother?

• 40:15Speaker 03

  Think about it.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  You versus Jabri, who wins in a fight? Yeah.

• 40:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 40:19Speaker 01

  But Jabri's a freak.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  So Jabri and Lamar can take me, we know two Lamars, or two.

• 40:23Speaker 01

  Lemare.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  Well, Lemare's Lamar.

• 40:25Speaker 01

  Give him some respect on it. Bro, this is crazy.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  Two Lemare's. I would fight Lemare's brother at Skankfest.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  Two Lemare's would beat your ass.

• 40:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 40:32Speaker 02

  I don't think so.

• 40:32Matt McCusker?

  What are the rules? Is it like boxing?

• 40:34Speaker 02

  Any rules?

• 40:35Speaker 01

  MMA.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  MMA rules.

• 40:37Matt McCusker?

  Bro.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  Just street fight rules.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  Wrestling. They're gonna.

• 40:40Matt McCusker?

  They're gonna squash you, dude. They're gonna be like, you're gonna McMario running through the dungeon. They're gonna crush you like those blocks.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  Or we, I mean, who's another big dog? We could get Andy.

• 40:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 40:52Speaker 01

  You and Andy versus Lewis.

• 40:53Speaker 02

  Melo Farina?

• 40:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. Just two big dogs.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's like two.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  It's like double, double.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, fine. Yeah, fine. Let's do it. It's gangfest. Let's run it.

• 41:02Speaker 01

  That's exciting stuff.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  I'll do a two on one.

• 41:04Speaker 01

  They might for real hurt you.

• 41:05Speaker 02

  Let's go. We'll try.

• 41:07Matt McCusker?

  Who?

• 41:09Speaker 02

  They would have to, they would have to really strategize. They have to really come at me at the same time.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  I think one of them's gonna like.

• 41:14Speaker 02

  Cause if they come at me one at a time, what I'm gonna do to one of them first, the other one's gonna get freaked out.

• 41:18Speaker 03

  One of them's gonna nail down behind you. The other one's gonna push you over. And then they'll just like laugh at you while you're on your back.

• 41:24Speaker 01

  Lemare's coming right at you.

• 41:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's dude, that's.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  He's running right at you.

• 41:28Matt McCusker?

  Required damage, bro, to put him down.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  A clothesline. He'll be doing wrestling moves.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  Get him, easy.

• 41:32Speaker 03

  DDT.

• 41:36Speaker 01

  Oh, now you're getting bashful? You're normally extremely arrogant about this type of.

• 41:40Matt McCusker?

  Sign of a true ninja, by the way.

• 41:41Speaker 02

  If this was three o'clock in the morning, he was drinking, he'd be fucking losing it right now.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  That's actually very true, but yeah, same with just about anyone.

• 41:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  It's three in the morning drinking and someone's like, I could beat up two of you. Well, that's extremely disrespectful.

• 41:56Speaker 02

  I'm gonna fuck you up now.

• 41:58Matt McCusker?

  So you, you guys were approaching the throne of basketball. That was, I found that kinda funny.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, we challenged you guys.

• 42:04Matt McCusker?

  You guys gotta win the tournament to be able to play us again. You're at the bottom of the moral combat pyramid.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  Will you play us at Skankfest?

• 42:10Matt McCusker?

  If you win the tournament, we would consider.

• 42:13Speaker 02

  Why not?

• 42:13Speaker 01

  I'm not doing you that favor.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  It's not doing me a favor.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  You, yes, it is.

• 42:20Speaker 03

  It's a big opportunity for you, Shane.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  How, how is it doing me a favor to beat me in basketball?

• 42:27Speaker 03

  Because you'll be wearing a Body Brain shirt.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  It's gonna be live streamed.

• 42:32Speaker 03

  Sponsored by Body Brain, man. Without any money coming from Body Brain.

• 42:36Speaker 02

  No cameras.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  It's a very jobs move. This is a very jobs move.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  No cameras. Just like Rocky versus Apollo at the end of Rocky.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  Private gym, then yes.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  Private gym. 100%. We get to talk about the results.

• 42:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 42:48Speaker 03

  No, do it, do it.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  We do need neutral witnesses.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  You need to do it outside. Big event, big crowds, black neighborhood. Get all the people out.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  No.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  Get a, get some fucking, get a community.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  Then we'd all be humiliated, not just them.

• 43:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I mean.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  Uh, no, I might just put together a team to face you.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  Please.

• 43:07Matt McCusker?

  You are more in your GM shit right now.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, uh.

• 43:11Speaker 03

  This is like Space, Space Jam. Let me assemble a team real quick. Yo, LeBron.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  I'm on my Donald Sterling. I'm trying to put together a squad. Uh, yeah, Lemare and Matt would beat you and Jay.

• 43:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 43:25Speaker 01

  Without a doubt. It'd be 11, nothing again.

• 43:27Speaker 02

  No.

• 43:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  Yes, it would.

• 43:29Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  I don't think, I don't think.

• 43:31Speaker 01

  Matt's been playing.

• 43:32Matt McCusker?

  I've been playing a lot.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah?

• 43:34Speaker 02

  Big Jay's been playing a lot.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  He better be.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  He won't admit that he stinks. He just won't admit it. Like, just admit you stink. It's okay. You don't wanna fucking do anything but stand under the, he's six foot three and 300 pounds his whole life. So he can just stand underneath the hoop and like be effective. I tried.

• 43:58Speaker 01

  You tried your hardest, but you've never played basketball.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  No, I've played.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 44:02Speaker 02

  I had played before.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Playground legend.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  I was, I remember me and my friends, me and my buddy Mike, we were like, all right, we should do like, uh, we should do like, uh, white men can't jump and like hustle people on the court. Cause he was really good at basketball, but I was like the Billy Coe. Like I was supposed to be like, you know, I was like missing all the shots. And then when we got into the game, we were gonna just hustle them. But we got into the game and I'm not good still.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  You, you didn't understand the second half of the hustle.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:30Speaker 03

  There you go. I'll lose the first five and then we'll double or nothing. And then lose the rest of them.

• 44:34Speaker 01

  Just missed a little closer.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  No, I turned it on a bit.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  I'm so bad at basketball.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  Lost, lost worst.

• 44:40Matt McCusker?

  No, I, we'd really have to see like some crazy improvement on your guys.

• 44:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, you guys have to, you have to beat several opponents.

• 44:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:46Speaker 01

  For us to consider playing.

• 44:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:48Matt McCusker?

  We're gonna take field goal percentage.

• 44:49Speaker 01

  We gotta see you guys score one point in a competitive match.

• 44:52Speaker 02

  I've.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  You guys still haven't scored a bucket.

• 44:54Speaker 03

  You guys gotta, you guys gotta play cockfight.

• 44:58Speaker 02

  It was supposed to be 11, nothing.

• 45:00Speaker 03

  Lost 11, nothing and cried for two years.

• 45:02Speaker 02

  I didn't cry at all.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  You guys cried for two years.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  Hold on.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  It affected my relationship with Big Jason.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  You guys cried?

• 45:09Speaker 01

  You cried initially, then Jason cried for two days.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 45:13Speaker 01

  Or two years.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  I understand you're trying to salvage the relationship with Big Jason right now. You know, he was the only one who cried about this. I didn't care.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  Big Jason cried.

• 45:20Speaker 02

  I didn't care that night. I didn't care after. I didn't care before. I, I, I'm not good at basketball. I have no. Big Jason cried.

• 45:36Matt McCusker?

  That was the funniest. God damn, that was so fun. That was so fun.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  So pissed. And he didn't know who to be pissed at. He was actually just mad at you guys for beating him, but he had to pretend to be mad at Dave for not showing up.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  He went on the bonfire and was like, Shane's just not who I think he is. Next day, he's like, for real? He's like a bad person.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  I took him under my wing. This is how he betrays me.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  Fucking rules.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a sign of a bad guy.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  He's the biggest sore loser on the planet. I played video games with him. We, I remember we play NBA like 2K. And like, I'm so, I'm bad at basketball and even in video game form, I'm terrible at basketball and he's really good. So he would use the Sixers, who at the time were like one of the lowest ranked teams in the game. And I would use like the, the 1996 USA All-Star team. It was like Jordan and fucking, it was like all like the, the best dudes. I remember one time at halftime, he was only beating me by like three points. I wasn't even winning. But he literally, he literally threw the controller down. He was like, yeah, I'm, I'm playing. You're not even, I'm, I'm not gonna play with you. You're playing with a, a better team than me. And I got so mad that like, he went to the bathroom and I left. Like I left. I was so mad. I was like, fuck you, dude. I'm out of here.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  Then I left, but then I didn't live near, anywhere near there and I had no money for a cab. So I had to like ring his doorbell 10 minutes later. And he's like, what? Why are you outside? I was like, I left. I was mad.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  I know where to go.

• 46:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  Like a kid who runs away from home.

• 47:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I have no, yeah, I wasn't mad at all in any sense.

• 47:05Matt McCusker?

  Who you play? So who are you playing against? What's the tourney looking like?

• 47:08Speaker 02

  I think, uh, the only one I, I think is Mike Finn and a Mike Feen.

• 47:11Speaker 03

  Cockfight's gotta do it. Me, me, Lev, Tristan bowling.

• 47:13Speaker 02

  Oh, we'll fucking destroy them.

• 47:14Speaker 03

  No, I don't think so.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  You beat them.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  There's no way you can play.

• 47:17Speaker 03

  I got.

• 47:18Speaker 02

  You're gonna try to throw the ball in a dog's head.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  I got heart.

• 47:20Speaker 01

  You can't play basketball.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, Lev has heart disease.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  Lev cannot play, but there's no way you guys can play.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  He might be a shooter. You don't know. Lev might just fucking threes all day.

• 47:29Matt McCusker?

  Never know.

• 47:30Speaker 01

  I would like to see the three of you guys playing would be great.

• 47:32Speaker 03

  And then Tristan could just be there for morale. It's a perfect.

• 47:34Speaker 02

  Tristan's like a little emo kid. He doesn't play basketball.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  He's like a cheerleader on the side.

• 47:39Speaker 01

  Never know.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  Steve can probably play, I assume.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  I think Steve can play.

• 47:43Speaker 03

  I don't think Steve can play. I think, cause you saw him throw the football.

• 47:47Speaker 02

  That was crazy.

• 47:47Speaker 03

  And I beat him in a game of throwing football.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  What? He has a poor throwing motion?

• 47:51Speaker 03

  Well, I beat him and I, I can't throw.

• 47:53Speaker 02

  We had a, we had the Legion of Skanks end of summer games and one of the things was one of the, it was us versus cockfight. And somebody had to wear a blindfold while they were holding a hula hoop and the other person had to go across the yard and try to make it through the hoop.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  That's a really funny idea.

• 48:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, we lost. Steve didn't get a single.

• 48:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:16Speaker 01

  Who's with you and Jay?

• 48:18Speaker 02

  Uh, no, it was Jay blindfolded and Steve was throwing it.

• 48:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 48:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:22Speaker 03

  Damn, that's hard.

• 48:22Speaker 01

  Have you guys won that competition?

• 48:24Speaker 03

  And they, and they keep making them. They keep making.

• 48:26Speaker 02

  We, we love to challenge people. We love physical challenges.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  Now you've beaten some people up and you're gonna beat the shit out of Lemare's brother.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  Beat up Lemare's brother.

• 48:39Matt McCusker?

  Your boxing technique was nice. I remember seeing that and being like, damn, Lewis can box.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm, I'm boxing at Skankfest this year. Uncle Laser's boxing Harrington. Uncle Laser's gonna get smoked.

• 48:49Speaker 03

  I think so?

• 48:50Speaker 02

  I sparred, I sparred with him today.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  Who are you boxing?

• 48:53Speaker 02

  I'm boxing CJ Bishop, who's a comedian from Canada, who he snuck into, well, he didn't sneak in. He was invited to Skankfest like by a friend. He wasn't performing. Then he went to like the front like gate and he told Shannon, who's my close friend and producer, he was like, oh, Lewis said I could have an artist pass. So he can get into the green room and steal our liquor and food. Which by the way, he could've just asked me. I probably would've just given him an artist pass, but he lied and said that I said to give him an artist pass. So I was like, dude, I should fuck it. I like took him aside and goon armed him. I was like, I should fucking kick you out of here right now. I was like, you fucking piece of shit. You're gonna lie about me? And then he called in Legion of Skanks and put him on trial the next week. We had Tony Ayo as a guest. And, uh, CJ was dressed up in like all prison gear and he had like a, he had like a thuggy, he had gold teeth and a thuggy accent.

• 49:39Speaker 02

  And he demanded trial by combat to not be banned from Skankfest, which I thought was hilarious. So now we have to box and if I stop him, he has to do the naked roast on Friday night.

• 49:48Speaker 01

  Jesus.

• 49:49Speaker 03

  So he's, he's definitely, he's already preparing jokes.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  Probably.

• 49:52Speaker 03

  This guy doesn't fight at all and that's all.

• 49:56Matt McCusker?

  Probably, probably has a huge dick. It's probably 4D chest.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  He might have a donger.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  He might upset you. He might have just a right hook.

• 50:04Matt McCusker?

  You gotta take it out. You gotta just.

• 50:06Speaker 03

  You might go in cocky.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  Dude, I just, I wake up on Tuesday, the festival's over. I'm like, what happened?

• 50:12Speaker 02

  My jaw's wired shut. I miss the whole festival.

• 50:18Speaker 02

  Lomar's got pictures of his balls on my face.

• 50:21Matt McCusker?

  How big is this guy?

• 50:22Speaker 02

  Like six, two. He's like, he's not a small dude, but he's like, yeah, he's not a, no, he's not a fighter. And then he's, I'm not a fighter in any sense, but.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  You're being humble.

• 50:31Speaker 02

  I train, yeah.

• 50:32Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  I like this.

• 50:38Matt McCusker?

  I like that too. AG1, the healthy stuff I've been drinking recently. Still just one scoop, once a day. Vitamins, minerals, probiotics. All this stuff my actual diet doesn't provide. Mix is great. Doesn't taste like a fistfight. Package travel easily if you're on the road doing shows or just too lazy to measure anything out, which dude, come on. They also recently came out with AG1 Pro, the same foundation, but with creatine in one simple delicious drink. So if you're someone who trains a lot or wants to get more impact out of your stack, this one might be worth checking out. So hurry up and go to drinkag1.com/secretpod and for a limited time only, get a free immune support bundle,

• 51:22Matt McCusker?

  including omega three fish oil and vitamin D three plus K two with your first subscription to AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/secretpod.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Quince.

• 51:35Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  What do you know about Quince?

• 51:36Matt McCusker?

  I love Quince. I'll be, I'll be honest. They sent me the stuff and I, they're boxers. They use like cotton, like regular materials, not a lot of polyesters, natural fibers. I'm a, I'm a big fan.

• 51:47Speaker 01

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• 52:12Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 52:13Speaker 01

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• 52:14Matt McCusker?

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• 53:08Speaker 03

  Can I, can I plug my special while I'm here?

• 53:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:10Speaker 03

  Do you mind? New special on Callum Tyrrell YouTube. It's called Bells and Whistles. It should be out like right now or whenever you're watching it. Please check it out.

• 53:18Speaker 01

  Hell yeah.

• 53:19Speaker 03

  Uh, thank you very much.

• 53:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:20Speaker 03

  They put a lot of work into it.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  You got a big, you got a big one tomorrow, huh?

• 53:23Speaker 03

  Big guy tomorrow.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  How do you feel?

• 53:25Speaker 03

  I'm trying not to think about it.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  Are you nervous?

• 53:28Speaker 03

  A little bit, yeah.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  I was nervous. I was very nervous.

• 53:30Speaker 02

  I wasn't. I was like, Rogan, you're doing me.

• 53:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. That's the attitude I'll go in there. I'll go, yeah, what's up?

• 53:36Speaker 02

  Did I saw a moment with Rogan last night? It was the best. He was in the green room.

• 53:39Speaker 01

  Who?

• 53:40Speaker 02

  Joe Rogan. He was talking to, uh, fucking, um, what's his name? Uh, the British guy.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  Jimmy Carr.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  Jimmy Carr. He's like having a one-on-one conversation and some girl, I don't know why she was in the green room. She's like a, like a blonde chick with glasses.

• 53:52Speaker 03

  Just like a blonde chick.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  Comes over and, and interrupts Joe talking to Jimmy Carr and she goes, here. And she got a business card. So Rogan doesn't even like, you know, like if somebody does that, your, your natural reaction will be like to put your hand out. He doesn't do anything. He just stands there. He's like, what's that? She goes, my business card. He was like, I don't want that. And he started talking to Jimmy Carr.

• 54:10Speaker 02

  And you watch her like literally like you watch her soul leave her body and she kind of just like stared up at the ceiling, like backed slowly out of the green room. But I mean, what a crazy move to interrupt the conversation. Nobody, nobody wants a business card in 2026. You're just handing somebody garbage. That's it.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  Now you're like, I have to throw this out now or you have your fucking mind?

• 54:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's wild.

• 54:31Speaker 03

  Should I, should I get a business card made for, for tomorrow on the pod? Just halfway, just to, just keep that, just in case you ever need me.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  We were in the green room and Joe was talking about, or we were talking about, uh, David Lucas being capable of doing splits. And we're like, no way. And Rogan, of course, is like, I can. Do it.

• 54:54Speaker 02

  You told them to do a split.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  Slit on the ground. And then David Jolly walks in and is like.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  Everyone's got to pretend that it's cool. It's like, wow, awesome.

• 55:08Matt McCusker?

  That's such a fucked up thing to walk into.

• 55:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  Joe Rogan just went to don't know how to rally. Anybody else, you just start making fun of them immediately. But it's Joe. You're like, this is the best thing I've ever seen.

• 55:17Speaker 01

  Jolly's walking in like, God damn, what the fuck?

• 55:21Matt McCusker?

  That must be nice. Split's crazy.

• 55:23Speaker 02

  Can you do a split?

• 55:24Matt McCusker?

  No, my, my daughter does dancing. She can do splits. So I try to do them and it like fucking kills. I can.

• 55:30Speaker 03

  Is it forward? Do you gotta go?

• 55:32Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, the one leg forward, one leg back or just like straight up split.

• 55:35Matt McCusker?

  I try to do one leg, one leg forward, one leg back. Straight. It's crazy.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  One leg forward, one leg back, you're saying?

• 55:41Speaker 03

  You go.

• 55:42Speaker 02

  You have video of Rogan doing splits?

• 55:44Speaker 03

  He's doing it over a bunch of candles, fuck.

• 55:48Speaker 02

  Dude, this was, it reminds me of when Shane was on Skanks one time and, uh,

• 55:54Speaker 02

  me and Jay, I don't know what happened, but somehow Jay convinced, or Shane convinced me and Jay to do a test of strength.

• 56:03Speaker 02

  In the middle of it, we're doing like a real like, you know, like Mercy, we grab each other's figures. And then in the middle of it, we're like doing it. We're really into it. And Shane goes, look at you fucking idiots. I just made your leaders fucking fight each other. And we had to like stop. We were like, oh yeah, that's funny. It's hilarious.

• 56:18Matt McCusker?

  Like a school bus.

• 56:22Matt McCusker?

  Mercy is a fucked up game.

• 56:23Speaker 02

  Mercy's crazy.

• 56:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 56:25Speaker 01

  I don't know why I keep trying to show pictures.

• 56:27Matt McCusker?

  Just can't find it.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  I can't find any pictures.

• 56:29Matt McCusker?

  You gotta be a girl. Girls are the best at that. Have you ever seen, no, not mercy. Have you ever seen them find pictures on their phone? They'll pull them up from like six years ago. There you go. There it is.

• 56:37Speaker 02

  I was just trying to get in my hotel room. I, I forgot my key card upstairs. They were like, they were like, give her ID. I was like, no, no, but I'll give you my, you know, Hilton Honors number. She was like, well, do you have a picture ID? I was like, no. I was like, I don't. She's like, well, we need security to come escort you up. And I was like, I just opened up my phone, typed in identification, showed it to her right, within three seconds I had it.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  It's wonderful.

• 56:59Speaker 01

  Jolly walking in. That's good stuff.

• 57:01Matt McCusker?

  That's a good split.

• 57:03Speaker 01

  That's fun, huh?

• 57:04Matt McCusker?

  That's another thing. That's another thing.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  Jeans too.

• 57:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. Jeans is a wild man.

• 57:07Matt McCusker?

  He has another thing to babes do. They take a picture of all their credit cards and ID and your ID. It's everything. So they're ready.

• 57:13Speaker 01

  Sure they do. They're ready.

• 57:18Speaker 03

  Just in case it comes in handy.

• 57:19Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 57:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can't do, I mean, a split would be crazy.

• 57:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:25Speaker 02

  Who do you think here could do the best split? I bet Lomar could do a split.

• 57:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

• 57:30Speaker 01

  Lomar, would you try your hardest for us?

• 57:31Speaker 03

  Lomar's probably got a little flexibility in there.

• 57:33Speaker 01

  Would you please try your hardest?

• 57:34Speaker 02

  I can, I can, uh, I can get pretty close.

• 57:38Matt McCusker?

  Let's see.

• 57:38Speaker 01

  I'd like to see it, please. You don't have to be on camera. You can just be where you are.

• 57:42Matt McCusker?

  You can just show us a split. I'm, I just wanna.

• 57:45Speaker 01

  No, it would just.

• 57:47Matt McCusker?

  I'm all juiced up to see a guy split right now.

• 57:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you might wanna.

• 57:52Speaker 01

  You can come over here so you don't knock that over. Don't worry.

• 57:55Speaker 03

  You should take the shoes off.

• 57:56Speaker 01

  We'll edit it out if it's really bad.

• 57:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we'll blur you.

• 57:58Speaker 02

  Huh?

• 58:01Speaker 01

  Don't get hurt. Do not get hurt, Lomar.

• 58:04Speaker 03

  His groin ripping.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  Don't get hurt.

• 58:06Matt McCusker?

  Lomar, that's not bad.

• 58:07Speaker 02

  That's actually crazy.

• 58:08Speaker 03

  You got a nice of the balls to the floor there.

• 58:10Speaker 02

  That's, that's pretty good.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  That's, that was good.

• 58:12Speaker 01

  That was good, man.

• 58:13Speaker 03

  That was pretty close. You're.

• 58:14Speaker 02

  I mean, it looked like you just popped your knee, but.

• 58:18Speaker 01

  Are you okay?

• 58:20Speaker 03

  You slipped on ice or something. I could never, I couldn't even go that far. That's crazy.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  That's great. That's. He's gonna fucking whale on you.

• 58:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 02

  I'm so inflexible. And with the flexibility competition, Lomar will fuck me up.

• 58:32Speaker 01

  Wait till you wrestle him, dude. He's gonna go nuts.

• 58:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:35Matt McCusker?

  He is a wrestler.

• 58:36Speaker 03

  That's a ball of strength right there. He's fucking.

• 58:39Matt McCusker?

  I ran into a guy at 10th planet on the plane. He was like, bro, the mayor's been thrashing people down there.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  Oh, you're on the 10th planet?

• 58:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Oh, just a little bit. Just a little bit.

• 58:52Speaker 02

  Lomar, you're the 10th planet? Yeah, I haven't been in a month. I gotta.

• 58:57Matt McCusker?

  Humble warrior, obviously.

• 58:58Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 59:00Matt McCusker?

  He's been training hard. Don't let him fool you.

• 59:03Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 59:05Speaker 02

  I feel like, I feel like I could take him.

• 59:10Speaker 03

  You don't know. He'll just get close. He'll just close that fucking gap.

• 59:14Matt McCusker?

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:14Speaker 03

  Put all this fucking weight on you, take you to the ground.

• 59:16Speaker 01

  And there's gonna be another guy that's 300 pounds coming at you.

• 59:18Speaker 02

  It's another guy.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  If you accidentally fall.

• 59:21Speaker 02

  I'm fucked. Oh, if they get me down.

• 59:23Speaker 01

  The hogs are gonna be on you.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm fucked.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  The hogs are gonna be swarming.

• 59:28Speaker 01

  They're gonna be on you.

• 59:29Speaker 03

  It's like Gulliver's Travels.

• 59:31Speaker 01

  Tie you down. They're gonna get you.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, if I, if I fall, it's a problem.

• 59:35Matt McCusker?

  You're gonna think you have sleep paralysis.

• 59:38Speaker 01

  You're not gonna be able to move, dude.

• 59:40Speaker 03

  You're gonna think it was a DMV.

• 59:43Speaker 01

  So much weight, dude.

• 59:45Speaker 02

  Lemare's just fucking stepping on my neck.

• 59:48Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:49Matt McCusker?

  What other challenges you have cooking up? I do like that, the fact that you guys are challenging.

• 59:52Speaker 02

  Physical challenges? I don't know if we have anything else going on right now.

• 59:55Speaker 03

  Fighting basketball.

• 59:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're doing some fights at the festival.

• 59:58Matt McCusker?

  I liked the carnival of combat. That was fun, how it was like, you couldn't do it in Vegas, you just rented a place in Florida. People punch each other.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Did, uh, does, does Big Jason have any, uh, physical challenges in the works?

• 1:00:10Speaker 02

  Big Jason said he would, uh, he would do the, uh, pinata fight, where he dresses as a pinata, and we have to defend him as fans try to attack him. So I'm gonna convince him now. If he can do that, that'd be really fun. We just move, let him get fucked up.

• 1:00:29Speaker 02

  Get fucking jumped. How about you let me talk on the podcast, motherfucker?

• 1:00:34Speaker 03

  Not so fucking big now.

• 1:00:37Speaker 03

  I signed up for the, uh, Royal Rumble.

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  Did you? No, you didn't.

• 1:00:40Speaker 03

  I did, yeah.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  Did you really?

• 1:00:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Why not?

• 1:00:42Speaker 02

  You're doing it?

• 1:00:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm not doing it.

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  What's that one? Just everyone?

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  I'm just gonna go like this until I get punched twice.

• 1:00:46Speaker 02

  One minute, every minute a new comedian comes in.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  Boxing?

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  Boxing.

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:51Speaker 02

  Last year Jamar won, did Jamar?

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, it'd be terrifying.

• 1:00:54Speaker 02

  Did Jamar fucking leveled fucking, uh, Term from the Palmer Squares? It was Drew Montana, Term and Jamar, and everyone was kinda like, you know, everybody's having fun, just like, you know, sparring in a fun way. And Jamar's like, oh, there's three of us left, and he just fuck, I mean dude, a hook from hell, dude. He knocked off Term's fucking head, and then, uh, Drew just took a knee. He was like, fuck that.

• 1:01:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, Jamar's a beast.

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  Jamar did a silly.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  You should box Jamar.

• 1:01:23Speaker 02

  I boxed Jamar today.

• 1:01:24Speaker 01

  How'd it go?

• 1:01:25Speaker 02

  It was good. I did alright. Yeah, yeah. Jamar's, Jamar's fast.

• 1:01:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:31Speaker 02

  They all are.

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  Every Jamar I've ever met, pretty, pretty speedy.

• 1:01:38Speaker 01

  What about Lemare's?

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  Kinda sounds like Jamar.

• 1:01:44Speaker 02

  Lemare's way more flexible than I thought he would be. That was pretty, that was so much closer than I'd get to.

• 1:01:49Matt McCusker?

  Strength is crazy too.

• 1:01:51Speaker 02

  Your strength is crazy?

• 1:01:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  Let's arm wrestle right now.

• 1:01:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  Could've been two.

• 1:01:59Matt McCusker?

  Well, how about some classics?

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  225 easy, without benching ever.

• 1:02:03Matt McCusker?

  A little bit sumo would be nice. I think Lemare sumo would be a good little preview.

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  We did sumo at Skank Fest one year.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  That'd be fun.

• 1:02:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  A little sumo right here to see your budgets.

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  Proper sumo, or where you like dress up in the?

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  No, no, no, we did proper sumo.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's fight for us.

• 1:02:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you, yeah. Let's get a little sumo right here.

• 1:02:20Speaker 01

  I don't mind a little arm wrestling right now.

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  I'll do a little arm wrestling.

• 1:02:22Matt McCusker?

  You guys are fired up.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  Lemare, you wanna arm wrestle?

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 1:02:26Matt McCusker?

  A little preview of what's to come.

• 1:02:29Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 1:02:29Speaker 02

  Right there?

• 1:02:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:31Speaker 02

  You don't have a table with like a handle, where I have one handle there? And the pads?

• 1:02:36Speaker 01

  You can go out there.

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  You don't have, you don't have an arm wrestling table?

• 1:02:39Matt McCusker?

  You do. What's that Swedish, what's that leg wrestling thing?

• 1:02:42Speaker 02

  Oh, uh, yeah, where you both try to?

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  Please do that.

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  I'm, I'm really not good at that, dude.

• 1:02:49Matt McCusker?

  Please let Lemare flip you, dude.

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  I'll try to, I'll try, I'll leg wrestle Lemare. I'll do any type of wrestling with Lemare.

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  Yes. Lemare, are you good for that?

• 1:02:57Speaker 02

  Well, what do you, you have to like?

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Just both laying on your backs, opposite.

• 1:03:01Matt McCusker?

  Hook legs, whoever flips, well, I forget, I don't know how it works either.

• 1:03:04Speaker 02

  How does it work? Can we see how it works?

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, both lay down next to each other.

• 1:03:08Speaker 02

  You have to like essentially lay down like hip to hip?

• 1:03:10Speaker 01

  Head to toes, yeah, hip to hip.

• 1:03:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, hip to hip, and then you hook your legs?

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:14Speaker 02

  And whoever can flip the other one?

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:03:17Matt McCusker?

  We've done it before, it's pretty fun.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've done it.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  Get in there.

• 1:03:20Speaker 03

  Come on, show us. I don't know what, I don't even understand. Let's do it, let's do it.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, Lemare says, well, I'm, I'm good for whatever.

• 1:03:26Matt McCusker?

  Lemare doesn't give a fuck, dude.

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  Come on, Meezy.

• 1:03:29Matt McCusker?

  Let's go, Meez.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  Come on, Meezy.

• 1:03:32Speaker 03

  What's the, what's the market saying on this now?

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, you got it. Sorry, you're just. You're going Meez, dude.

• 1:03:38Speaker 03

  I think you're too close, are you?

• 1:03:41Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  I think so. Yeah, and then you.

• 1:03:45Matt McCusker?

  Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Tactical foul. Tactical foul.

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  Easy win. Easy win.

• 1:03:57Matt McCusker?

  Dirty, dirty play.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  That was a good fucking play.

• 1:04:02Speaker 03

  Louis did all that just to touch his balls. That was his whole elaborate.

• 1:04:05Speaker 02

  Meez.

• 1:04:07Speaker 01

  Lemeez was flopping on the deck.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  He does that when he's arm wrestling too.

• 1:04:10Speaker 02

  It's so funny when you don't want somebody to touch your balls, that you really will just shut down. Like, here, take all my money.

• 1:04:16Speaker 02

  He's shut down completely.

• 1:04:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:22Matt McCusker?

  You gotta grab his balls, dude.

• 1:04:23Speaker 02

  You freak out, you freak, if somebody touches your balls, you don't want them to touch your balls?

• 1:04:26Speaker 03

  You can't go into a fight with Louis expecting honor.

• 1:04:31Speaker 03

  Louis is immediately looking to splash some dust in your eyes or whatever. Kick some fuck.

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  What are you up to tonight?

• 1:04:37Speaker 02

  Nothing.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  Nothing? Nice.

• 1:04:39Speaker 02

  What are you guys up to?

• 1:04:41Matt McCusker?

  I think I'm playing a little paddleball.

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 1:04:43Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah?

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  That'll be fun.

• 1:04:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  I've only played it once and it was great.

• 1:04:48Matt McCusker?

  It's, it's not pickle.

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  I really enjoyed it. I only played pickleball.

• 1:04:50Matt McCusker?

  Paddleball is pickleball, but you have a tennis ball instead, so you can kinda really.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  Some people french it up a little.

• 1:04:55Matt McCusker?

  A little French, yeah.

• 1:04:56Speaker 03

  They say paddle.

• 1:04:57Speaker 02

  We would play, we would play handball.

• 1:04:58Matt McCusker?

  No, they say that.

• 1:04:59Speaker 03

  It's just a lot to say, right?

• 1:05:01Matt McCusker?

  I call it paddleball.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  Were you good at handball?

• 1:05:03Speaker 01

  No, I never played handball.

• 1:05:06Matt McCusker?

  What's hand, what's the difference between handball and wall ball?

• 1:05:09Speaker 02

  I think it probably is wall ball.

• 1:05:10Speaker 01

  Well, okay, I think I've played that, but.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  It's like with the little blue.

• 1:05:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, you just smack it and use it.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  You whack it with your hand instead of a tennis racket.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  No, I feel like we would catch it and throw it.

• 1:05:20Speaker 02

  Oh, no, that's ass.

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  I feel like there was never rules.

• 1:05:23Speaker 02

  No, the ASS was you throw it at the wall, and then if you touch it, then you get pegged with it.

• 1:05:28Matt McCusker?

  Yep.

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  I mean, I was always so, I was so bad at this game, dude. I was the fattest kid and I'm the least athletic. I wouldn't catch it, I would touch it, they'd peg me in the back.

• 1:05:36Matt McCusker?

  That's what it was, yeah. There, there was the fabled game of red balls, where you would stand and they could just throw it at the person's dick, but I don't think anyone ever really played that.

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 1:05:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  Hey, I think that's a podcast.

• 1:05:48Matt McCusker?

  It is, that's an hour.

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  That's all, that's pretty impressive stuff, guys.

• 1:05:51Speaker 03

  Check out the special, please. Thank you.

• 1:05:53Speaker 02

  Check out a special.

• 1:05:54Speaker 01

  Please check out a special.

• 1:05:55Speaker 03

  For love, go on, please.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  Single day passes still available for Skank Fest. Saturday is almost sold out, so get them now before it's too late.

• 1:06:00Speaker 01

  Big names?

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, you.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  No, who else?

• 1:06:03Speaker 02

  Matt.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  No, who else?

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  Problem.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  Kali T.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  Eric Andre, Christina P.

• 1:06:09Speaker 01

  That's exciting.

• 1:06:09Speaker 02

  Norton's coming back, uh, fucking, I mean, it's everybody. Mark Norman, Joe List, the whole fucking.

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  I mean, you got any unusual?

• 1:06:20Speaker 02

  Eric Andre's for the first time, Christina P's for the first time.

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  She's, she's out now. She's out. She's on the prowl.

• 1:06:25Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah?

• 1:06:26Speaker 03

  Yeah. Single lady. She's gonna be looking for some fucking skank fans.

• 1:06:32Speaker 03

  First thing you do out of divorce is go fuck some big goth guy.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  She wants you to try to fuck her.

• 1:06:37Speaker 03

  Some big birded fucking loser from Ohio.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  Thanks, y'all.

• 1:06:42Matt McCusker?

  Should be leg wrestling.

• 1:06:45Matt McCusker?

  Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 1:06:49Speaker 01

  Do it.

• 1:06:55Speaker 06

  Streaming October 30th on Paramount Plus.

• 1:06:57Speaker 01

  I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been killing killers for half my life. It gets to you. You're having a midlife crisis.

• 1:07:04Speaker 06

  I'm not ready for this. He's back. I'm older. I'm wiser. And sharper than ever. Things are gonna get messy. But if I can't believe in myself, I can't believe in anything. Dexter Resurrection. New season October 30th on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan. Does checking your bank statements feel like digging through a dusty attic full of forgotten subscriptions and old free trials?

• 1:07:34Speaker 06

  Experian can help take the pain out of canceling by handling it for you. Think of it as Operation Get Your Sanity Back. Over 200 subscriptions are cancelable. So get started in the Experian app and see how much you could save. Results will vary. Not all subscriptions eligible. Savings not guaranteed. Paid membership with connected payment account required. See experian.com for details.