MBMBaM 751: Face 2 Face: Tragic Mike Tour

Vroom, vroom! We're staying Faster Than Fear with the first Thunder Drive show straight from Tampa! Things get wet and beachy in Florida as we dole out wisdom about Hulk Hogan, sexy farmers, the least nutty nut, and picking up pheasants. Suggested talking points: Wheres Cars Pees From, Brutus “The Candlestick Maker” Beefcake, Clear Legal Yes, Seagrass by Fortnite, Where the Luck Comes Out, Did you Look Up Pheasant Shit Backstage? You can see a photo of our outfits from this show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/DGdRa_ZR6Zz/ World Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Travis McElroy?

  Hey, we know you're chomping at the bit to get at this next little Dollop and McElroy content, but we've got some big news that we can't sit on.

• 0:07Griffin McElroy?

  Can't get enough of it, you nasty, nasty hungry dogs.

• 0:09Travis McElroy?

  We're coming back to the road. Thanks to those who came to see us in Florida. We're getting right back out there, though, with this leg of the 20 Thunder Drive Tour. We're coming to Virginia, North Carolina, Michigan, Minnesota, and Ohio. Tickets are gonna go on sale this Friday, February 28th at 10 a.m. in the local time of those venues. We've got more info and ticket links available at bit.ly/mcElroyTours.

• 0:35Griffin McElroy?

  Let's grab someone here at this live show we're at now in Tampa, see how they feel about it. Hey, what's up, buddy? How do you feel about the live show you went to tonight?

• 0:43Speaker 02

  That was the greatest night of my life, Seth. Seven out of 10.

• 0:47Griffin McElroy?

  Why's your pants wet?

• 0:48Speaker 02

  They ruined me!

• 0:51Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, come see us.

• 0:52Speaker 02

  I'll never laugh again!

• 0:54Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, so bit.ly/mcElroyTours. Come see us. Enjoy the episode.

• 0:58Speaker 03

  The McElroy Brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 2:15Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody, and welcome. My brother, my brother, me and Vai show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin Tyler McElroy.

• 2:26Travis McElroy?

  What's up, Trav Nation? Vroom, vroom. I'm your middlest brother, Travis Big Dog Woof Woof McElroy.

• 2:34Griffin McElroy?

  What's up? It's me, your youngest, sweet, babyest brother, 30 under 30, media luminary, Griffin, Bill Fortoff, McElroy.

• 2:46Travis McElroy?

  Now, as everyone in the theater can see, we have left the five best seats open for the five original Power Rangers. And once again-

• 2:54Griffin McElroy?

  As we do in every show.

• 2:55Travis McElroy?

  As we do in every show, they have declined the invite.

• 3:00Travis McElroy?

  I have to take the helmet off. Uh, I can't hear anything to do jokes for you that you paid for.

• 3:06Travis McElroy?

  Can you take it off with the gloves on? Okay.

• 3:13Griffin McElroy?

  It is nice. I will say, it is nice after, uh, pretty much every year since we've been doing live shows, uh, to have a theme where I don't look like a fucking clown and I look cool as shit instead.

• 3:26Griffin McElroy?

  They thought I was some sort of human avatar of Lightning McQueen, when clearly I'm a mem- a human member of Lightning McQueen's pit crew.

• 3:37Travis McElroy?

  Are you imagining the only human member?

• 3:41Griffin McElroy?

  If you've seen the Cars movies, you know that cars aren't allowed to do work on other cars. That's sex for them. They obviously can't do that at a public event like the Daytona 500, or whatever happens in the car. So, yes, there's human, human men present.

• 3:59Travis McElroy?

  That they keep around just to service, though.

• 4:01Griffin McElroy?

  If they had other cars touching Lightning McQueen, you would have to hear Owen Wilson, like, "Oh, yeah," like-

• 4:09Travis McElroy?

  It is weird at that point when he's doing the race, and we've only seen cars at that point, and then the, like, kind of, a little bit bloodstained, like, kind of gate opens up and the humans rush out, quickly fix the tires, and then run back cowering. They never addressed that in the story.

• 4:27Griffin McElroy?

  I will say this- Not my most mobile costume, ironically enough.

• 4:33Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:33Griffin McElroy?

  Not a lot of freedom of movement, ironically enough, in my racecar pit crew costume.

• 4:38Travis McElroy?

  Specifically, your movement to the bathroom before the show was impeded. You were mentioning to me, Griffin. And your ritual.

• 4:45Travis McElroy?

  To access pocket.

• 4:46Travis McElroy?

  Let's just say it won't come as a surprise to you that the three of us share a pretty ritual is that we have to pee as we're walking on stage, basically. And Griffin could not get in his last minute pee because of the constrictions of his uniform.

• 4:59Griffin McElroy?

  It is extra sad seeing a Lightning McQueen pit crew uniform crumpled on the ground at the foot of the toilet.

• 5:07Travis McElroy?

  I've seen it at so many Comic Con hotel rooms, I can't tell you.

• 5:12Travis McElroy?

  You should have just done what they did in the movie and give you a bucket.

• 5:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:16Travis McElroy?

  To use as the only human.

• 5:18Griffin McElroy?

  This costume gap starts at my navel. There's no access to anything down there.

• 5:22Travis McElroy?

  Well, that's where cars pee from.

• 5:24Griffin McElroy?

  This is a big suit-shaped chastity belt in more ways than one.

• 5:29Travis McElroy?

  Griffin and I were standing backstage and the, and the, next to the crew here were getting their first look at our costumes. And I told him, don't worry, no matter how much this may look like a strip show, it is not a sort of Magic Mike tribute act.

• 5:45Griffin McElroy?

  To which I responded, tragic Mike, which is what the name of the film would be.

• 5:50Travis McElroy?

  It's, yeah, that's our tour. This is the tragic Mike.

• 5:55Travis McElroy?

  No, it's not. It's an advice show.

• 5:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:58Travis McElroy?

  And that, yeah.

• 5:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:00Travis McElroy?

  What we do is we take your questions and we turn them alchemy-like into wisdom. Uh, and I think we should get started.

• 6:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:07Travis McElroy?

  Do you think that there was a small-time stage magician who called himself Magic Mike? And then the movie came out and he was like, oh, man.

• 6:15Griffin McElroy?

  Everyone's gonna expect me to be cut and nude.

• 6:20Travis McElroy?

  Speaking of cut, local celebrity Hulk Hogan is a regular at the restaurant where I work. I really don't want to wait on him. What can I do to ensure I never have to be his server? Thanks, brothers.

• 6:37Travis McElroy?

  And they don't, they don't leave a name. I find if I don't-

• 6:39Griffin McElroy?

  Are you here?

• 6:41Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:41Griffin McElroy?

  Alright, hell yeah.

• 6:42Travis McElroy?

  Woo! I find if I don't want to wait on Hulk, I just tell him we gotta be there 30 minutes before we actually do. And then he'll be ready in time.

• 6:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, he'll fall for anything.

• 6:53Travis McElroy?

  I don't know that you want to even ingest, talk about hanging out with Hulk Hogan.

• 6:57Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's true, I think we're allude to.

• 7:00Griffin McElroy?

  You could hire also as a server Brutus Beefcake.

• 7:05Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:06Griffin McElroy?

  And then Hulk Hogan's not gonna come sniffing around there anymore.

• 7:09Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:10Griffin McElroy?

  Cause Brutus Beefcake will kick his ass.

• 7:13Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, okay, so, sorry, you mean Brutus the Barber Beefcake?

• 7:16Travis McElroy?

  Or Brutus the Baker Beefcake, or Brutus-

• 7:19Travis McElroy?

  Cause Brutus-

• 7:20Griffin McElroy?

  The candlestick maker Beefcake?

• 7:22Travis McElroy?

  Brutus Beefcake, sounds like he tried to leave wrestling behind him. He's like, no, I'm no longer Brutus the Barber Beefcake, now I'm just Brutus Beefcake Attorney at Law.

• 7:30Griffin McElroy?

  Well, when you become a, when you become a pediatric dentist, you have to change your name so that it's not scary anymore.

• 7:38Travis McElroy?

  Now he's Brutus the Dentist Toothache.

• 7:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that's good.

• 7:45Travis McElroy?

  Is there a level of excited to wait on Hulk Hogan you could pretend to be? That would ensure you were never allowed to wait on Hulk Hogan?

• 7:54Travis McElroy?

  Speak of that-

• 7:56Travis McElroy?

  Please let me run wild on him! Pleeeeeease!

• 8:00Travis McElroy?

  Like you would, you would shape yourself as such a massive Hulk Hogan. Now Travis, I do think that that would probably keep you off Hulk Hogan duty. Is it worth, I wonder, I'm wondering myself now, is it worth all your coworkers thinking you're an absolute Hulkamaniac?

• 8:15Travis McElroy?

  Now, Justin, I'm glad you asked. Part of the fiction would have to be that you're a huge fan who hasn't been able to get any updates in the last like 15 years.

• 8:25Travis McElroy?

  Okay, right.

• 8:26Travis McElroy?

  I'm so excited to check in with him finally!

• 8:29Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, my AOL-

• 8:30Travis McElroy?

  What's he been up to?

• 8:31Travis McElroy?

  My AOL free trial ran out, brother. I haven't, I haven't gotten any updates. What are you into? Charity? What kind of good stuff you doing, man? You're a, you're an American hero. I can't wait to hear what cool things in the last 15 years.

• 8:46Griffin McElroy?

  You and Bubba Love still palling around or what?

• 8:49Travis McElroy?

  You guys still best buds?

• 8:54Travis McElroy?

  Oh man. It would be really hard if I ran into him not to tell him about the, the, the giant cookie. I promised Dwight I'm gonna buy him the day he dies.

• 9:02Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 9:03Travis McElroy?

  But I bet he doesn't want to hear that anecdote at all.

• 9:05Travis McElroy?

  Oh, there's a giant cookie on the line, brother? I need to start living life more recklessly.

• 9:11Travis McElroy?

  Uh, I enjoy taking trips to the beach by myself.

• 9:15Travis McElroy?

  I don't see what that has to do with Hulk Hogan.

• 9:17Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. But whenever I do, other people always set up way too close to me, like, like way too close, within a few feet of me. Even when there's plenty of space elsewhere, it seems like no matter where I set up to enjoy some sun and sea, other people go out of their way to invade my space. How do I stake out my territory at the beach and keep others from getting all up in it? That's from Beach Bum in Orlando.

• 9:44Griffin McElroy?

  Are you here? Hello?

• 9:46Travis McElroy?

  Hi.

• 9:48Travis McElroy?

  Is there a level of Hulk fan you could act like?

• 9:52Griffin McElroy?

  I'm wondering now, actually Travis, if vociferously talking about how much you love, you fucking love Hulk Hogan in 2025?

• 10:02Travis McElroy?

  If there was a boombox busting out, "I am a real American," I would probably sit many, many beach lengths away, like several towels. Not seven, eight towels away.

• 10:13Travis McElroy?

  You would do that, but someone who would sit close to someone else on the beach when there's plenty of beach is probably like, "Hell yeah, brother."

• 10:24Griffin McElroy?

  A lot of people are too afraid to sit where it's wet. Um, but...

• 10:30Travis McElroy?

  Not just at the beach, in life.

• 10:35Griffin McElroy?

  Um, that's a good, on dry land, you shouldn't actually sit where it's, there's not a good wet seat in dry land.

• 10:43Travis McElroy?

  There's not a good wet seat in the house.

• 10:45Griffin McElroy?

  Ah.

• 10:46Travis McElroy?

  Um.

• 10:46Griffin McElroy?

  I'll say, yeah.

• 10:47Travis McElroy?

  By the end of the night.

• 10:48Griffin McElroy?

  For the.

• 10:49Travis McElroy?

  This is, this is a, this is a really good point, though, Griffin, about the wet seat.

• 10:55Travis McElroy?

  Thank you for ignoring what I said.

• 10:56Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. It's not so much ignore as move through by force. Um, I think that at the beach, I'm not a big beach guy, and this whole thing about sometimes the ocean can come up to where you are doing your day.

• 11:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:11Travis McElroy?

  Is so hard for me to calculate. If I see somebody else has already posted up, I'm gonna assume they know what they're doing.

• 11:17Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 11:18Travis McElroy?

  Why would I be so presumptuous as to think that I know better than them vis a vis distance from oceans?

• 11:23Griffin McElroy?

  That must be the part of the beach without sand fleas, because someone's there.

• 11:27Travis McElroy?

  It is interesting that tide doesn't sneak up on you.

• 11:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:32Travis McElroy?

  Right? I've never been sitting there and be like, the water's all the way over there, and then like, two minutes later, be like, ah, it's on my beach!

• 11:38Travis McElroy?

  Hey, Travis, I should say, you should drink more at the beach, because that happens, that happens to me all the time.

• 11:46Travis McElroy?

  That's fair. What you should do is sit up at the edge of the ocean, and just every two minutes, inch backwards.

• 11:53Griffin McElroy?

  Or don't.

• 11:54Travis McElroy?

  And don't worry if there's anyone seated behind you, they'll move.

• 11:57Griffin McElroy?

  Just sit in the, sit in a wet hole at the beach, it's a, it's.

• 12:03Travis McElroy?

  Wait, it's a hole now?

• 12:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yes. It's primarily a body of water. What are you doing there if you're not getting wet?

• 12:10Travis McElroy?

  The problem is, is if you get there early and it's already wet, by like, the end of the day, you've drowned.

• 12:16Griffin McElroy?

  Find a tight little sandbar, get out there, and yell at anybody who swims too close about all the eels.

• 12:25Travis McElroy?

  This is my island!

• 12:27Travis McElroy?

  I, can I tell you guys, and this is gonna come as a surprise to you, I think, but I used to have this exact problem.

• 12:35Travis McElroy?

  People sitting too close to you?

• 12:36Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, at the beach, I was like a person magnet. Like, people would roll up to me and they would like, it's just, I realize what my problem is, and I'm gonna share it with you, cuz once I fixed, adjusted this behavior, the problem fixed itself. What I, it was not about what I was doing, it was about what I stopped doing. What I stopped doing was every time someone was in 50 feet of me, I stopped shouting, "Hey, I got suds for my buds, let's do this thing." Yeah. And I would shout every time anybody, adult, would get within like 30 feet, like, "Hey, I got suds for my buds, let's do this thing." And then they would inevitably come over.

• 13:09Travis McElroy?

  And you'd be like, "Why did they come over?"

• 13:10Travis McElroy?

  Why are they coming over? And I don't know if you ever yell, "I got suds for my buds, let's do this thing," at passersby.

• 13:18Travis McElroy?

  Repeatedly until they come over.

• 13:20Travis McElroy?

  Adult passersby.

• 13:21Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. And then if they're children, he has milk duds, and he yells, "Duds for my buds." And we're like, "Those are kids."

• 13:27Travis McElroy?

  If you ever yell at kids, cuz you don't, cuz you're here, and I appreciate you not yelling at kids, thank you.

• 13:34Travis McElroy?

  Here's what I do, it's a simple trick, there's a little life fact that you guys can have, it's two things you need. You just need some, like, big wooden sticks, right? And you're gonna set those up in corners, however big you want, and then some police tape.

• 13:48Travis McElroy?

  And you're just gonna set up a perimeter around yourself, and you sit in the middle. And I promise you, people will leave you alone.

• 13:56Travis McElroy?

  Hey, here's a question for you folks, this is something about, no matter how close you set up somebody, it's weird at the beach, right? But if you move even three inches closer to them, that's way weirder. Why is that? If I say four feet away, but I move a little bit closer, people get weird, you know? But if you start two feet away.

• 14:19Travis McElroy?

  Like the tide.

• 14:20Travis McElroy?

  Like the tide, exactly, Travis, that's a really good point.

• 14:22Travis McElroy?

  You're a human tide.

• 14:23Travis McElroy?

  I'm a hu, the human tide, that's what they call me.

• 14:25Travis McElroy?

  When you wrestle, it's Hulk Hogan. It's all gonna be about Hulk Hogan tonight.

• 14:30Travis McElroy?

  Please, Christ, no, no. I'd rather that not be the case. I'm a marine biologist, and a couple of times a year, I'm asked to speak to children about my job. The problem is, I work with sea grasses.

• 14:45Travis McElroy?

  And the kids find this incredibly boring.

• 14:47Griffin McElroy?

  Huh.

• 14:49Travis McElroy?

  They prefer cool stuff like sharks and manatees. Hey, thanks for examples of things that are cooler than seagrass.

• 14:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I was gonna struggle.

• 14:56Travis McElroy?

  I would have been, yeah, I would have been flailing up here.

• 15:01Travis McElroy?

  Like grass in the waves.

• 15:03Travis McElroy?

  The seagrasses are super important habitat.

• 15:06Griffin McElroy?

  All right.

• 15:09Travis McElroy?

  Brothers, how do I get children interested?

• 15:10Travis McElroy?

  You know what else is dirt?

• 15:12Travis McElroy?

  In my extremely exciting underwater plants. That's from Super Seagrass Savvy in St. Pete. Are you here? Wow, there's so many of you.

• 15:21Travis McElroy?

  Wait, how many marine biologists are here?

• 15:23Travis McElroy?

  That's cool.

• 15:24Travis McElroy?

  You know what, actually, I bet Tampa Bay has a lot of marine biologists.

• 15:28Griffin McElroy?

  I will, I will say for your sales pitch in the future, the leading bullet point shouldn't be cool stuff lives there. To me, that feels like, um, I would rather hear about the cool stuff living in the house of the seagrass. I'm alre- I already don't care a lot about the ocean, but I recognize there's some cool stuff down there.

• 15:50Travis McElroy?

  That's true. People don't focus on the Fortress of Solitude as the main character in Superman.

• 15:55Travis McElroy?

  True. It's tough when you have, uh, things that we already have up top. Yes. It's never gonna get the, uh, billing. It's never gonna get the hype as the things that are unique to water. I'll give, and if you are something that already exists up on land, you gotta come with some surface heat. I'll give you guys an example. Sponges underwater are alive.

• 16:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's what it takes.

• 16:22Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 16:23Travis McElroy?

  Cause otherwise, I'd be like, uh, I got sponge. You know what I mean? Like, but then they're like, this one, J-Man, it's alive.

• 16:31Griffin McElroy?

  If just one representative from the marine biology community who asked this question could answer this. Scale of one to 10, how many fun facts are there about seagrass?

• 16:43Griffin McElroy?

  Four?

• 16:44Travis McElroy?

  Now, what's interesting is if I'm to say a scale of one to 10, how many? Does that mean on a scale of one to 10, there's a four level amount? Or there are four?

• 16:54Griffin McElroy?

  Four fun facts about seagrass. One, bigger than land grass. Two, slimier significantly than land grass.

• 17:02Travis McElroy?

  Wetter.

• 17:02Griffin McElroy?

  Wetter.

• 17:03Travis McElroy?

  Wetter.

• 17:03Griffin McElroy?

  Habitat for all kinds of cool shit that I do not have time to go into right now.

• 17:08Travis McElroy?

  To Justin's point, these kids aren't gonna study this. And if they do, by the time they get to that point, they're jaded adults. Tell them it can talk, but only underwater. They don't know. They don't know. This, oh, the seagrass dances when you're not looking at it.

• 17:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. It's the hair of dead mermaids.

• 17:27Travis McElroy?

  Wish. Well, now, hold on. That might not play the way you want it to.

• 17:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Good point, Travis.

• 17:34Travis McElroy?

  What? Yeah, that's right. Mermaids are real, but they are all dead.

• 17:39Griffin McElroy?

  Their lifespan is four weeks.

• 17:42Travis McElroy?

  We trick, we trick kids into pillaging turkey carcasses because we told them there's a special bone that grants wishes.

• 17:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 17:50Travis McElroy?

  So I feel like we could get this going for seagrass. Like, it needs a rebrand. I think if we could call, I mean, it's wet.

• 18:00Travis McElroy?

  You could call it wet weed.

• 18:01Griffin McElroy?

  Is seagrass different from seaweed? Okay. You took a long, you took a long time to answer that. I'm not so sure.

• 18:13Travis McElroy?

  Well, seagrass, you wanna grow. Seaweed grows in the seagrass. And like, I gotta pull this out now.

• 18:18Griffin McElroy?

  Get this shit out of here.

• 18:19Travis McElroy?

  We're, we're doing, I got a problem right now. Sometimes this happens on this show where we talk about something that I know nothing about for long enough that I start to think like, I should really learn more about seagrass. That's, that's the age I am now.

• 18:30Travis McElroy?

  I don't know about earth grass. And I deal with that shit all the time.

• 18:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, wait a minute. You just need to change your audience. I don't wanna hear any more shark facts. I've been fed those against my will for like, two decades now. I don't know shit about seagrass. If seagrass showed up in my TikTok algo, I'd be like, hmm.

• 18:50Travis McElroy?

  Can I just say?

• 18:51Griffin McElroy?

  Hello? Let's check in here on seagrass.

• 18:53Travis McElroy?

  You need to start Grass Week. Grass Week is like, a week long, all special things. Where like, maybe the Mythbusters are covering episodes about seagrass. And Terry Crews is there for some reason to talk about seagrass.

• 19:04Travis McElroy?

  Everybody's, yeah, everybody loves seagrass. And, um, it's a rebrand, right? We call it?

• 19:09Travis McElroy?

  We gave you so long. You had so long to think about it.

• 19:14Travis McElroy?

  Well, nothing there. I thought there would be, but I didn't think about it in the interim. I know I looked like I was thinking about it, but I wasn't.

• 19:19Travis McElroy?

  Seagrass by Fortnite.

• 19:22Travis McElroy?

  That's right, guys. We finally did it. We went and put seagrass in Fortnite.

• 19:26Travis McElroy?

  We partnered with seagrass.

• 19:28Travis McElroy?

  To put it in.

• 19:30Griffin McElroy?

  What's the, what's the, I'm sorry to keep asking you questions. This isn't usually the format of the show. But just like, what's the coolest animal that calls seagrass its habitat?

• 19:43Griffin McElroy?

  Seahorse. Yeah, alright. What you gotta do is be like, you kids like seahorse? They may or may not. I was hoping it would be something fucking rad, like barracuda or some, but like you hold up a seahorse and you say, "Pretty cool, huh?" You say, "Mr. Seahorse, how do you feel about seagrass?" To get the seahorse to vouch for how cool seagrass is.

• 20:07Travis McElroy?

  And it says whatever you want, so you'll put it back in the water. Whatever you want, please!

• 20:12Griffin McElroy?

  I love seagrass. This is a great home.

• 20:14Travis McElroy?

  Do you think that the problem isn't that the kids don't think it's cool, but that when you say a seahorse that lives in seagrass, that they're like, "You need to come up with better terms." Cause you're just putting sea in front of things I have.

• 20:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. You also wouldn't say a horse lives in grass.

• 20:32Travis McElroy?

  Wouldn't you?

• 20:34Griffin McElroy?

  No, I guess horse has his own home. Nobody's down there building seashells, barns, are they?

• 20:38Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 20:39Griffin McElroy?

  That'd be pretty cool if they were, though.

• 20:40Travis McElroy?

  I mean, horses spend a lot of time around grass. They love that shit.

• 20:44Griffin McElroy?

  They do, actually.

• 20:45Travis McElroy?

  You gotta go and talk to the kids about seagrass when they're looking at the seahorses already. Cause they're interested in something.

• 20:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:52Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:52Griffin McElroy?

  That's the time. Oh, you like those guys? They'd all be fucking dead as disco without this sweet green stuff.

• 20:58Travis McElroy?

  "Are you guys enjoying the seahorses, huh? I'd like to talk to you about the glue that's holding this whole thing together. Hi, I'm Justin McElroy, paid endorser for seagrass."

• 21:07Griffin McElroy?

  "A lot of ecosystems in danger of collapsing right now."

• 21:10Travis McElroy?

  Not seagrass, baby!

• 21:12Griffin McElroy?

  Baby! "We can't get enough of this slimy leaf."

• 21:15Travis McElroy?

  "We haven't figured out how to mow it, but someday we will."

• 21:18Griffin McElroy?

  Someday we'll get down there and master the seagrass.

• 21:21Travis McElroy?

  "I'm a proud tummy buddy for life."

• 21:27Travis McElroy?

  We recently did some testing and learned that I have grown out of a deadly allergy to nuts.

• 21:34Travis McElroy?

  Allergies for nuts is for babies.

• 21:36Travis McElroy?

  Whoa, hey! Whoa, no, we don't mean that.

• 21:38Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 21:38Travis McElroy?

  This is great news, but I'm still afraid to eat the food that has meant certain deaths for my entire life thus far. How do I stay true to my tummy while also becoming faster than fear? That's from potential pecan eater in St. Pete. Are you here?

• 21:51Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 21:52Travis McElroy?

  Wow, you're excited to eat nuts, and who can blame you? There's a lot of great nut stuff.

• 21:57Travis McElroy?

  Before we discuss this, three dummies in these outfits. Your doctor told you it was cool to eat them?

• 22:04Travis McElroy?

  You're sure, right? You promise.

• 22:07Travis McElroy?

  Can I get a clear, legal yes?

• 22:11Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 22:13Travis McElroy?

  And you agree that if anything were to hap- like, maybe there's one nut, like macadamia or something way off the map, that you eat, and then at your funeral, they played a video of us on stage right now. You're clearing us of any legal obligations? Your family's lawyer has to let the tape play pass to this part, right?

• 22:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, legal thinking.

• 22:37Travis McElroy?

  We should have said this earlier, but they could have just cut off the beginning, too. God, your family's lawyers are good.

• 22:44Travis McElroy?

  And your doctor didn't say like, it's prob- your doctor wasn't like, "It's probably cool." He didn't say like that, right? He was like, "It's 100-" not like there's a 99% chance you're cool if you eat pecans.

• 22:56Travis McElroy?

  Did you ask, "Hey, so have I grown out of my nut allergy yet?" And that doctor just said, "Go nuts," and laughed?

• 23:04Travis McElroy?

  And then he laughed so hard he passed out and you left?

• 23:07Travis McElroy?

  But maybe he didn't mean it, he just had a killer joke. Okay, assuming that you are truly over your nut allergy. What's like the least nut?

• 23:18Travis McElroy?

  Oh, no. Oh, is that the way you're going? Because I'm saying buy a thousand Planters Mc- not and Scrooge McDuck right into.

• 23:25Griffin McElroy?

  No, no fucking way, man.

• 23:27Travis McElroy?

  It's fine. A doctor said so.

• 23:30Travis McElroy?

  No, Travis, you have to ease in because the problem is not with the, it's the fear.

• 23:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:35Travis McElroy?

  You have to ease in. So you have the least nuts, which is of course the Tootsie Roll. Because nobody's quite sure.

• 23:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:41Travis McElroy?

  Is it chocolate? Is it nuts? Is it caramel?

• 23:44Travis McElroy?

  Is it gum?

• 23:45Travis McElroy?

  Is it gum? We don't know.

• 23:46Griffin McElroy?

  Maybe start at baked beans to get used to the shape.

• 23:50Travis McElroy?

  Wait, no, like actual baked beans or Boston baked bean, like the crunchy?

• 23:54Travis McElroy?

  You start with a regu- you get Boston baked beans wet.

• 23:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:59Travis McElroy?

  So an unbaked bean.

• 24:01Travis McElroy?

  An unbaked bean.

• 24:02Travis McElroy?

  A raw bean.

• 24:03Griffin McElroy?

  You have Bush's baked beans. You start cutting in Boston baked beans 10%, 20%, 30%. If you start with a big vault of peanuts, the ple- the, dude, they're so fucking good, like.

• 24:19Travis McElroy?

  You're gonna love them.

• 24:20Griffin McElroy?

  If you start, if you go and you eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup right now, you'll fall down dead from the ecstasy of it.

• 24:28Travis McElroy?

  You know what? I'm gonna say start with those circus peanuts that are like the orange.

• 24:32Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 24:33Travis McElroy?

  Thing. No, because that's not a peanut, but it's gonna get you.

• 24:38Travis McElroy?

  It's gonna get you into the form.

• 24:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:40Travis McElroy?

  You're gonna get used to the form.

• 24:42Griffin McElroy?

  It's like. I'm sorry. Is anyone looking at circus peanuts and being like, hmm, a fat-free candy, huh? Well, that's swayed me. I'll go for it.

• 24:53Travis McElroy?

  Free of major allergens.

• 24:55Griffin McElroy?

  What's that? There's. We got, we do have ragweed.

• 24:59Travis McElroy?

  That's how we get the color. Sorry, folks.

• 25:01Griffin McElroy?

  We got some real underground shit happening in here.

• 25:05Travis McElroy?

  The marshals are made from chinchilla fur. Is that okay?

• 25:08Griffin McElroy?

  We got a little bit of tungsten.

• 25:11Travis McElroy?

  Let's say, let's put it this way. It's illegal, but only because they don't know to make it illegal. They haven't heard about it yet. That's why it's okay. Um, my sister is on farmersonly.com despite having only four chickens.

• 25:28Travis McElroy?

  How many, how many chickens would you say you should have to be on Farmers Only? That's from Lilly L.

• 25:35Griffin McElroy?

  Lilly R.

• 25:36Travis McElroy?

  Lilly R.

• 25:37Griffin McElroy?

  Are you here? Is Lilly L. here?

• 25:40Travis McElroy?

  I heard the quietest sound.

• 25:43Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, it's okay. You don't have to identify yourself.

• 25:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, maybe you're here with your sister. I get it.

• 25:48Travis McElroy?

  What this question presupposes, and I love, is that Farmers Only isn't just a clever name, that it is a strict policy. That if you were to go on a date with a farmer, and you started talking about your chickens, and then let slip you had four, they would stand up and be like, "This date's done."

• 26:07Travis McElroy?

  They would probably, yeah, I think they would be well within their rights, because you will have lied

• 26:14Travis McElroy?

  to be on Farmers Only, because four chickens does not a farmer make. Now, here's what I'll say to you. Thousand chickens does.

• 26:23Travis McElroy?

  But then, Justin, there must be a number betwixt the two.

• 26:26Travis McElroy?

  I don't know what it is, but I'm saying four ain't it, and a thousand is.

• 26:30Travis McElroy?

  Now, I will start here. Let me-

• 26:32Travis McElroy?

  Five thousand? You're a farmer, right?

• 26:36Griffin McElroy?

  Well, you're a, you're a computer at this point.

• 26:38Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, five thousand, you're a conglomerate, like, you're a big, major ag, like, huge corp.

• 26:44Griffin McElroy?

  You're not on Farmers Only. You're on, like, CEOs, please.

• 26:48Travis McElroy?

  You're the owner of Tyson's Chicken.

• 26:50Travis McElroy?

  Blackrockfans.com, man.

• 26:53Travis McElroy?

  I'm gonna slide forward this offer to you, Justin, and you tell me a metaphorical number written on a paper. With 12 chickens-

• 27:00Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 27:01Travis McElroy?

  I could, no, hear me out. I could fill a dozen container every day, and sell that dozen container one time a day to someone.

• 27:11Travis McElroy?

  Farmer, I can't spin up in a day. And I feel like I could, I could buy a chicken house, buy 12 chickens, get that going in a day.

• 27:19Travis McElroy?

  I think the fact that you call it a chicken house means it might be a little harder than you think.

• 27:24Travis McElroy?

  Hey, I'm not trying to be a farmer right now. You'll know when I'm trying to be a farmer, okay? That's not now. I'm, I'm happy with my one two-foot-by-two-foot square of Sun Chokes that my wife lets me grow every year.

• 27:36Griffin McElroy?

  Your wife, the farmer of Sun Chokes.

• 27:39Travis McElroy?

  A popular farmer, Sid McManus.

• 27:40Travis McElroy?

  That's true. I grow tomatoes every year, and I've never been like, "Ah, rain, good for the crops."

• 27:45Travis McElroy?

  But, but if you grew 20,000 tomatoes, you would be a farmer, right?

• 27:51Travis McElroy?

  Well, what I've got, Justin, is a three-foot-by-

• 27:54Griffin McElroy?

  I wanna, I wanna talk about your sister's frame of mind here because I'm having trouble resonating spiritually with someone who has four chickens and is like, "I can't relate to anyone who is not on this fucking vibe." Griffin, man. These four chickens mean fucking everything to me and I do not give a shit about anything else in the world. I would love a fifth chicken. I don't have room in my heart. I love these four idiots so fucking much.

• 28:25Travis McElroy?

  I would posit a different possibility, Griffin, that this sister went, "Man, I wanna date a farmer, but where do I find them? I know, I'll meet the bare minimum I can think of to register for FarmersOnly.com."

• 28:39Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 28:39Travis McElroy?

  The chicken are but a gateway

• 28:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:42Travis McElroy?

  to the dating website. I also said only farmers and I think that's a different thing.

• 28:49Griffin McElroy?

  Alright, I just finished up my workday of work. Who wants to see how muddy my feet got?

• 28:58Griffin McElroy?

  My wo- have you ever- No, I don't do teat stuff anymore. Have you ever been more clearly a podcaster than when you said my workday of work? That's how people with jobs talk, right? Well, honey, I'm home from the mill of working.

• 29:17Travis McElroy?

  Now I'm home daytime.

• 29:19Griffin McElroy?

  Tough day at the time clock, honey bunches.

• 29:22Travis McElroy?

  Ooh, my boss a big rat.

• 29:36Travis McElroy?

  I wanna try something new, Griffin.

• 29:37Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 29:38Travis McElroy?

  I don't know what our sponsor is for this week.

• 29:41Griffin McElroy?

  There's two, baby.

• 29:42Travis McElroy?

  We're out on the road.

• 29:43Griffin McElroy?

  We got two sponsors. We're in the money.

• 29:45Travis McElroy?

  I wanna do something that nobody's ever done before, Griffin, here in the bowels of the Tampa Theater. I want to try to guess the sponsor this week. You're gonna give me some clues. Give me some clues about our first sponsor, Griffin.

• 29:58Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, well-

• 29:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, give me some hints.

• 29:59Griffin McElroy?

  How about I just start reading the ad copy?

• 30:00Travis McElroy?

  I warn you, I'm really bad at this kinda thing.

• 30:02Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, so, but don't say the wrong, don't get it wrong, cuz that, well, they won't work with us again, so stakes are pretty high. I'll just read the, I'll read the ad copy for a little bit, but I'll remove the name of the sponsor.

• 30:13Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 30:14Griffin McElroy?

  They will love that.

• 30:15Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 30:16Griffin McElroy?

  Blank. MyPillow. Nope.

• 30:20Travis McElroy?

  Crap. Sorry. Let me try. I, you do it again. You go on. Sorry. My pillow. It's not my pillow.

• 30:26Griffin McElroy?

  It's not my, this one's not my pillow. They didn't get up on this particular track.

• 30:30Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 30:31Griffin McElroy?

  Blank makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms.

• 30:40Travis McElroy?

  This is embarrassing. It's a shape. It's one of the shape ones.

• 30:42Griffin McElroy?

  It is one of the shape.

• 30:43Travis McElroy?

  Give me another thing. Give me another thing.

• 30:45Griffin McElroy?

  If we don't say the name of the sponsor soon, they legally don't have to pay us. So.

• 30:49Travis McElroy?

  Okay. It sounds like Squarespace, but I feel like that's what you want me to say. So I'm not, that's not my official guess. Cause it's what you want.

• 30:55Griffin McElroy?

  It is square. I do, and just to go back for the times I missed it. Squarespace, Squarespace, Squarespace, Squarespace.

• 31:00Travis McElroy?

  That's very clever, Griffin. Go ahead. You finish your little ruse.

• 31:04Griffin McElroy?

  Squarespace Payments is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place with Squarespace. Get started in just a few clicks and give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like Klarna, ACH and Apple Pay. Get that money on, on your own damn terms. It doesn't say that.

• 31:20Travis McElroy?

  It doesn't say that. They would never, they would never.

• 31:22Griffin McElroy?

  Cuss flare there. You grow credibility, engage visitors with an unrivaled suite of visual design effects. We've all used Squarespace. I mean, the three of us have to make a bunch of websites. I don't know if the whole world has used it. If they did, Squarespace probably wouldn't need to advertise with us.

• 31:35Travis McElroy?

  I wouldn't think that's money, money well, well wasted. I would think.

• 31:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, but you can make your own beautiful website. It's so easy. It looks so good. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com slash my brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Now, for our second sponsor, I don't know if you want to play the game again.

• 31:57Travis McElroy?

  No, I'm gonna try.

• 31:58Griffin McElroy?

  It's a new sponsor.

• 32:00Travis McElroy?

  Okay, so I'm gonna try to get you to guess. So, okay, so you give me your phone and I'll give you the clues and you try to guess. Okay. So we'll flip it.

• 32:07Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 32:07Travis McElroy?

  Flip the game.

• 32:08Griffin McElroy?

  Cool. But how are you gonna do that if you don't know the copy?

• 32:10Travis McElroy?

  You give me your phone. I said that. So you give me your phone.

• 32:14Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, okay.

• 32:14Travis McElroy?

  Okay. You ready?

• 32:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 32:15Travis McElroy?

  All right. Now, Griffin.

• 32:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 32:18Travis McElroy?

  Have you ever wanted to leave a legacy?

• 32:21Griffin McElroy?

  Sure. Yeah, absolutely.

• 32:23Travis McElroy?

  Okay. Well, can you think of any better way of doing that than the planning?

• 32:27Griffin McElroy?

  Jimmy John's.

• 32:30Travis McElroy?

  So close, actually.

• 32:31Griffin McElroy?

  Is it not?

• 32:32Travis McElroy?

  No, we were looking for fast growing trees.

• 32:33Griffin McElroy?

  Fast growing trees.

• 32:34Travis McElroy?

  I'm excited about fast growing trees, Griffin, to let the bit go because I have fast growing trees in my backyard from fast growing trees that have been growing there happily for quite some time now. They're two little apple trees that are doing very well and they're doing very well because fast growing trees makes it easy to pick plants. They're going to thrive well in your environment. They give you all the tips that you need to grow the plant properly. And if you're having issues, this is, these are real people that you could reach out to and say, hey, I'm having a problem. And they've got amazing support. I've done this. I've made use of it. They have a troubleshoot something with one of my beautiful apple trees and now it's doing better than ever.

• 33:17Griffin McElroy?

  They've fricking lemons.

• 33:18Travis McElroy?

  It made lemons and I had to, they said, pull it out of the ground, turn it upside down, Jay man, you done did it wrong. But that's not what they said.

• 33:24Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 33:25Travis McElroy?

  They gave me the right advice.

• 33:26Griffin McElroy?

  Real stuff.

• 33:26Travis McElroy?

  No, they said something about, probably something about nitrates.

• 33:28Griffin McElroy?

  But you probably also didn't have lemons come out of the apple tree. That was it.

• 33:32Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 33:32Griffin McElroy?

  That was, I do want to tell the crowd, that's a joke.

• 33:35Travis McElroy?

  It is not born fruit yet, but I'm looking forward to it because I got a berry bush too. They're, they're all working together. They even recommended two apple trees that would work nicely together, pollinating each other.

• 33:43Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, gross.

• 33:45Travis McElroy?

  No, I'm sorry. Yeah, it was a little bit forward.

• 33:46Griffin McElroy?

  Blasting, blasting each other.

• 33:48Travis McElroy?

  I don't have the details though about whatever.

• 33:50Griffin McElroy?

  Well, listen, this spring, they have the best deals for your yard. We haven't said their name a lot. It's fast growing trees. Uh, my favorite Radiohead song, but this spring, fast growing trees.

• 34:00Travis McElroy?

  Growing trees.

• 34:02Griffin McElroy?

  They have the best deals for your yard. Up to half off on select plants and other deals and listeners to our show get 15% off their first purchase when using the code MYBROTHER at checkout. Now's the perfect time to plant. Use my brother to save today. Don't use my, don't use my brother's body.

• 34:20Travis McElroy?

  No, don't use me to save.

• 34:21Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 34:22Travis McElroy?

  Don't make a friend with me just to help get my discount.

• 34:26Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 34:26Travis McElroy?

  On Fast Growing Trees, anybody can.

• 34:27Griffin McElroy?

  Anyone can do it with the promo code MYBROTHER. To save today, offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. Hey, before you get back to the rest of the episode, we did want to tell you we got some new tour dates on the 20 Thunder Drive Tour. We're excited to share. Right now, we're coming to Virginia and North Carolina and Michigan and Minnesota and Ohio. So come see us if you live in those places or even nearby states and territories. Tickets go on sale this Friday, February 28th at 10 a.m. local time. More info and tickets are available at bit.ly/mackelroytours. Come see us. Thanks to everybody in Florida who came out to see us in Tampa and Jacksonville. We had a good time and we sure do appreciate you.

• 35:12Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 35:14Griffin McElroy?

  We got, you want to tell us about the new merch?

• 35:15Travis McElroy?

  Oh yeah, we got some beautiful stuff, Griffin, especially the holographic Dare to Care sticker. You know, 50% of the proceeds from that beauty are going to be donated to the World Central Kitchen and 10% of all our merch proceeds this month are going to go to that group, which uses the power of food to nourish communities and strengthen economies through times of crisis and beyond.

• 35:35Griffin McElroy?

  We got a list of all the organizations that we have been working with over the years and have been able to donate to over the years over at mackelroyfamily.carrd.co. If you're looking for some places to give, to help out, that's one spot you can do it. That's it. Enjoy the rest of this episode, this live episode that you're listening to. We just did it last night and it was a hoot.

• 36:00Travis McElroy?

  It was a good night.

• 36:01Griffin McElroy?

  We'll be back with a new episode next week. All right, later.

• 36:04Travis McElroy?

  Later, bye.

• 36:06Speaker 05

  Who's ready for some science?

• 36:10Speaker 05

  With sources and nuance.

• 36:14Travis McElroy?

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 36:18Travis McElroy?

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 36:20Speaker 05

  Well, let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too. From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins. From quantum physics to the history of swearing. As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.

• 36:32Travis McElroy?

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 36:33Speaker 05

  Me, Caroline Roper. Dr. Ella Hubber. And Tom Lum. So join us next time where we will learn about Everything.

• 36:45Speaker 06

  Hey, are you playing a video game right now?

• 36:48Speaker 07

  Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG.

• 36:51Travis McElroy?

  Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time.

• 36:54Speaker 06

  Been there. I'm Maddie Myers.

• 36:56Speaker 07

  I'm Jason Schreier.

• 36:57Travis McElroy?

  And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast.

• 37:01Speaker 06

  A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.

• 37:04Speaker 07

  Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games.

• 37:10Speaker 06

  On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games.

• 37:12Speaker 07

  And breaking news out of the video game industry.

• 37:15Travis McElroy?

  And we also talk about other stuff besides games.

• 37:18Speaker 07

  So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click.

• 37:22Travis McElroy?

  Listen on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

• 37:32Travis McElroy?

  Like Chilean miners, we've returned from the bathroom.

• 37:35Griffin McElroy?

  You can't do that after the intermission.

• 37:36Travis McElroy?

  No, but I assume they went to the bathroom at some point.

• 37:39Griffin McElroy?

  I'm already so uncomfortable with the fact that we have another, what seems like Jeb Bush "please clap" moment as we come out after very obviously using the bathroom.

• 37:49Travis McElroy?

  Would you rather come out in complete silence, in darkness, lights come up, we're just sitting there like we've been here the whole time?

• 37:55Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know.

• 37:56Travis McElroy?

  Don't worry about it.

• 37:57Griffin McElroy?

  My costume's too small, and I can't return it now, and it was $80.

• 38:03Travis McElroy?

  I really leaned into the thunder aspect. I didn't lean into the drive aspect as hard as you guys did.

• 38:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, but mine's driving and a guy named Lightning McQueen. It's two things at once. The only problem is that if I flex my neck hard enough, I can fucking bust out of the...

• 38:19Travis McElroy?

  Oh my god, yeah. It's like when Lightning McQueen gets angry and turns green, and then he's Lightning McGreen.

• 38:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Uh huh. For sure.

• 38:31Travis McElroy?

  I keep waiting to be interrupted by our older brother.

• 38:33Speaker 07

  You gotta stop talking for even a half a second for that to happen.

• 38:36Travis McElroy?

  To be interrupted?

• 38:41Speaker 08

  I wanna munch squad.

• 38:50Travis McElroy?

  Ba ba ba ba ba ba I want to munch. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast with a podcast profile on the latest grace of branding. This is like a podcast. You came for one podcast? Well, you're getting two, because this is another one inside of that one, which a lot of people don't talk about. That's a huge value.

• 39:12Griffin McElroy?

  So, man.

• 39:13Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, what's on the menu today?

• 39:14Travis McElroy?

  Oh, thank you, because he's back. Grimace is back.

• 39:19Travis McElroy?

  And he's bringing Grimace is back and he's bringing his uncle. That's right, guys. It's happening. Uncle.

• 39:31Travis McElroy?

  Please, yes?

• 39:32Travis McElroy?

  Uncle O. Grimacy is back.

• 39:34Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 39:35Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 39:38Travis McElroy?

  Now, can I just say real quick, for the people at home listening, you can't see this, but they chose to put a green Grimace with a green hat and a green vest in front of a green screen.

• 39:50Travis McElroy?

  Okay, they didn't choose to do that. God made him green.

• 39:55Travis McElroy?

  But the the screen could have been any color, Justin.

• 39:59Travis McElroy?

  It's a heat, but then they couldn't pretend that they're in Gladiator 2 or whatever they're gonna do with this image.

• 40:04Griffin McElroy?

  This is the first time this has ever happened to me, but I feel culturally offended. It doesn't feel very good.

• 40:13Travis McElroy?

  Right, yeah. Well, let's talk about the history here. You're in luck Shamrock Shake is back, starting February 10th, 25 cents from every Shamrock Shake.

• 40:23Travis McElroy?

  Oh, cuz luck. Jesus, Travis.

• 40:26Travis McElroy?

  A special.

• 40:27Travis McElroy?

  Let him cook, chef.

• 40:29Travis McElroy?

  This Shamrock season celebration came to life when Grimace stumbled upon his family's original Shamrock Shake recipe. That discovery sparked Grimace to reconnect with his vibrant, joyful, and generous uncle, Uncle O. Grimacy.

• 40:46Travis McElroy?

  Now, wait.

• 40:47Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck, man. Wait, what's that pouch in his mid? What's that lump in his thorax?

• 40:53Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, you know exactly what that is. That's an opening, my friend.

• 41:00Travis McElroy?

  Where the luck comes out.

• 41:01Griffin McElroy?

  I didn't need to see Uncle O'Grimsay's cloaca.

• 41:04Travis McElroy?

  Can I just say, actually with that clef, he looks so much like a ball sack.

• 41:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 41:10Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you climb in there to hide your mom's sword.

• 41:13Travis McElroy?

  So Justin, what you're telling me is that Grimace found a recipe for the Shamrock Shake, a thing that's been at McDonald's many times. And he said, huh, I've never thought about who I'm related to before.

• 41:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:30Travis McElroy?

  And then maybe did a swab for 23andMe. And then said, oh, I'm related to this green Grimace. I should have noticed the similarities.

• 41:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:41Travis McElroy?

  Especially since his name is O'Grimsay.

• 41:43Griffin McElroy?

  His name has mine in it, in a sort of wild Irish pastiche.

• 41:48Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, Uncle O'Grimsay has been in the mix for quite some time, but he's been off of the radar for a while. We haven't heard from Uncle O'Grimsay.

• 41:57Travis McElroy?

  Recovery.

• 41:58Travis McElroy?

  He used to bring the Shamrock Shakes.

• 41:59Griffin McElroy?

  He needed time.

• 42:01Travis McElroy?

  He's, while McDonald's tried to figure out, is this okay?

• 42:04Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, is this fine?

• 42:06Travis McElroy?

  And then they looked around, they're like, I guess it's fine, whatever. So he reconnected. Grimace had his Eat, Pray, Love journey through Ireland and reawakened. Inspired to-

• 42:18Griffin McElroy?

  No. Fuck off. Jesus Christ.

• 42:23Travis McElroy?

  Whatever is the problem? That's just a regular man named Uncle O'Grimsay.

• 42:28Griffin McElroy?

  Well-

• 42:29Travis McElroy?

  With the regular eyeballs, just like yours or mine.

• 42:32Travis McElroy?

  But the human being that those eyeballs are connected to shifted

• 42:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:37Travis McElroy?

  three inches to the left.

• 42:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:39Travis McElroy?

  Is that AI or is that a stock photo?

• 42:43Griffin McElroy?

  The shillelagh in his hand gives it a Five Nights at Freddy's vibe.

• 42:49Travis McElroy?

  That's not the only thing giving it a Five Nights at Freddy's vibe. I also like that they make it very clear in this ad that it's mint flavored. So you wouldn't think it's Shamrock flavored.

• 42:59Travis McElroy?

  Right, that would be gross. Gross. Inspired to reunite with Grimace and support his favorite charity's 50th milestone, Uncle O'Grimsay packed his bags and embarked on a journey from Shamrock, Ireland.

• 43:15Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 43:15Travis McElroy?

  Why? I mean, why, guys? Why?

• 43:18Travis McElroy?

  Why not just name a real place?

• 43:20Griffin McElroy?

  Why not name a real Irish city?

• 43:22Travis McElroy?

  Because then people would go looking for him. You know, that's the problem.

• 43:26Griffin McElroy?

  I bet he's not hard to find.

• 43:28Travis McElroy?

  If you kiss the shameless O'Grimsby, you get a gift of the lint in your mouth.

• 43:35Travis McElroy?

  Uh, now that he's here, Uncle O-

• 43:37Travis McElroy?

  No! He, this image right now tells me that Uncle O'Grimsby is seeing some shit.

• 43:46Travis McElroy?

  Our fans eagerly await the Shamrock Shake.

• 43:49Travis McElroy?

  Is that Grimace talking?

• 43:51Travis McElroy?

  Our fans eagerly await the Shamrock Shake each year. "We're thrilled that proceeds from this minty-flavored treat will aid RMHC in keeping families together," said Joy Silman, a second-generation McDonald's franchisee.

• 44:06Travis McElroy?

  Cool.

• 44:07Travis McElroy?

  "Family is core value at McDonald's, and we live this every day." And then the person was like, "Joy, could you not say that in the article? Because it's kind of weird."

• 44:18Griffin McElroy?

  It's wild.

• 44:19Travis McElroy?

  And my son will be a franchisee owner, and his children will be a franchisee owner.

• 44:23Griffin McElroy?

  We've also never met, like, Ronald McDonald's wife. Like, family, this is a gambit you all have pulled exactly one time, if I'm not mistaken.

• 44:32Travis McElroy?

  And can I also say, I love the way that they say "we're thrilled," as if it wasn't their decision to partner with Ronald McDonald House?

• 44:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:40Travis McElroy?

  As if McDonald's and Ronald McDonald House weren't going to get together until Uncle O'Grimsby stepped in and said, "Let's get these two kids together."

• 44:51Griffin McElroy?

  Uncle O'Grimsby really, uh, got, got us over our beef with the Ronald McDonald House. We used to fucking hate those guys.

• 44:59Travis McElroy?

  Oh, be real. Excuse me.

• 45:01Travis McElroy?

  Together with our crew customers and iconic McDonald Land character, Uncle O'Grimsy.

• 45:09Travis McElroy?

  We're helping RMHC make families feel at home even when they can't be. And then there's another couple paragraphs about the Philadelphia Eagles. And then it says-

• 45:20Travis McElroy?

  Oh, wait, is that because they've realized that Griddy is related to Grimace?

• 45:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, they're best friends. Our long-

• 45:27Griffin McElroy?

  Not the Eagle, not the Eagles mascot, but close, close-ish.

• 45:32Travis McElroy?

  Sorry, I was doing my be real, I wasn't paying attention.

• 45:34Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, great.

• 45:35Travis McElroy?

  Our longs, imagine how terrifying that feels to be onstage with that kind of energy. Just like-

• 45:40Griffin McElroy?

  It sucks, guys, it sucks.

• 45:41Travis McElroy?

  If I'm not gonna be real-

• 45:43Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it is, it's fucking real, though, it is as real as it gets. You want him to be real.

• 45:49Griffin McElroy?

  If I could pull my phone out of my pocket without having to reach deep into my crotch to do so.

• 45:55Travis McElroy?

  I actually saw you for a minute. I saw you do a move, I'm like, god, fuck.

• 45:59Travis McElroy?

  Griffin texted Paul to bring the seam ripper out.

• 46:02Travis McElroy?

  It would be the same as if you needed to be real on your appendix.

• 46:06Travis McElroy?

  Okay. Our long-standing tradition of the Shamrock Shake is a testament to the joy we bring our customers. This year, we're getting back to the first fundraiser that started our incredible partnership with RMHC, said a guy at McDonald's. This Shamrock Shake season, with a little extra cheer from the Grimace family, we're reminded that the most precious gift is being close to those you love. Hey, hey, it's me, Justin McElroy. If you ever have to be reminded what the most precious gift is by Grimace, you should probably pack it in. That's probably it for recognizing joy in your life. You should probably give up on joy as an idea.

• 46:50Travis McElroy?

  If you need Grimace to remind you about your family being good.

• 46:55Travis McElroy?

  Especially since what they're kind of overriding here is that clearly there was some kind of family falling out.

• 47:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:01Travis McElroy?

  Because Uncle Grimace has been in the canon before.

• 47:04Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 47:04Travis McElroy?

  So it's as if they were, they should be saying, and we're very thankful to Grimace for reminding us that like, yeah, man, some shit's definitely gone down in the past.

• 47:13Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it should be Uncle Grimacey like,

• 47:19Travis McElroy?

  "I just climbed out of the mine hole with the Bing Bong, I'm back."

• 47:23Travis McElroy?

  I've been nothing for 20 years.

• 47:26Travis McElroy?

  What's happening?

• 47:28Travis McElroy?

  Them talking about reestablishing their first charity, once again, as if the Ronald McDonald and Ronald McDonald house was a different Ronald McDonald.

• 47:38Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:39Travis McElroy?

  Unrelated. Not like Grimace and Uncle O'Grimmacy.

• 47:43Travis McElroy?

  Can you imagine what a bummer it would be if the only other member of your whole species was your Uncle O'Grimmacy?

• 47:52Travis McElroy?

  You're not, you're not bringing him, Brian. He's my only living relative.

• 47:57Travis McElroy?

  Okay, Griffin, uh, just real quick, Grimabeth, Grimace's mom, Louis Grimace, Grimace's dad, Winky, Grimace's grandma, Jenny Grimace, Grimace's great-great-grandma, King Gunga, Grimace's brother who rules over all Grimaces.

• 48:13Travis McElroy?

  Whoa.

• 48:13Griffin McElroy?

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on. Does he rule over the Irish Grimaces too? It's not like they all live together in Grimace land.

• 48:24Travis McElroy?

  Wait, hold on, can we jump back? His mom's name is?

• 48:28Travis McElroy?

  So his mom's name is Grimabeth.

• 48:31Travis McElroy?

  And then his dad's name is?

• 48:33Travis McElroy?

  Louis Grimace.

• 48:34Griffin McElroy?

  That's fucked up.

• 48:35Travis McElroy?

  So that would make his name Grimace Grimace?

• 48:40Travis McElroy?

  Named after Grimabeth, Grimabeth, her last name would then be Grimabeth Grimace?

• 48:46Travis McElroy?

  I mean, she's a strong, independent Grimace.

• 48:48Travis McElroy?

  She kept her own last name Grimabeth Johnson.

• 48:51Travis McElroy?

  She, she kept her own last name in a not applicable.

• 48:56Griffin McElroy?

  Are there any Grimaces that aren't related to Grimace?

• 49:00Travis McElroy?

  That's the real big one, Griffin. That's the, that's the big one that's really gonna cook your noodle.

• 49:05Travis McElroy?

  Brother rules over his dad?

• 49:07Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's the, that's.

• 49:08Travis McElroy?

  I'm king. My dad is like, I'm not dead.

• 49:12Travis McElroy?

  We are going to now help you. We've helped Grimace.

• 49:16Griffin McElroy?

  Here's, here is how this is gonna work. We're gonna call down, uh, people by their names and if they've been provided seat numbers. When it's your turn, give us your, your name, your pronouns, if you'd like. Please don't come to the microphone if we don't call you, cause we'll have three synchronized panic attacks.

• 49:33Travis McElroy?

  But at different pitches, which could be lovely.

• 49:36Travis McElroy?

  It could be cool. Come on down to the mic, my friend. Hello.

• 49:38Speaker 09

  Hi, I'm Tanner. I also go by Persephone. Um, any pronouns?

• 49:43Travis McElroy?

  Hello.

• 49:43Travis McElroy?

  Hello. Welcome. What is your question?

• 49:46Speaker 09

  My question is, so, I worked at a clothing store.

• 49:49Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 49:50Speaker 09

  And on the first day, I ripped my pants. How do I go back?

• 49:54Travis McElroy?

  Now, this is a great question. I, I, I've worked, I worked in a clothing store. Um, I would like to pause it if it were to happen again, which God willing and the

• 50:06Travis McElroy?

  You can't, you can't pause it if you tear your pants at work. You can try it. Everybody,

• 50:10Travis McElroy?

  That happened to me.

• 50:11Travis McElroy?

  Pause, pause, pause.

• 50:12Griffin McElroy?

  No one look.

• 50:12Travis McElroy?

  Pause, everybody pause it, pause it, hold on.

• 50:14Travis McElroy?

  Can I tell you, this actually did happen to me. It's actually unrelated to what I was about to say, when I worked at Best Buy.

• 50:19Travis McElroy?

  Cause it's...

• 50:20Travis McElroy?

  I was counting money in, uh, in my couch. I was like Scrooge. No, I was in, I was supposed to count money, and I ripped my pants, and I stapled them back together.

• 50:30Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 50:31Travis McElroy?

  You did too?

• 50:32Speaker 09

  I tried.

• 50:35Travis McElroy?

  Now, I'm gonna tell you that when I say I ripped my pants open and I stapled them together, and then you say, "I tried," it does bring to mind that there might have been an injury associated. No, thank God. Okay, great.

• 50:49Travis McElroy?

  Great.

• 50:50Travis McElroy?

  But here's what you do. If it happens again, you say, huh, don't you hate it when this happens to you?

• 50:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 50:55Travis McElroy?

  If only I had stronger, better pants.

• 50:59Travis McElroy?

  The first word-

• 50:59Travis McElroy?

  Like these over here.

• 51:01Travis McElroy?

  The first words out of your mouth have to be, "I bought these somewhere else."

• 51:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:05Travis McElroy?

  Ah, ah, oh darn it, Persephone, that'll teach you to shop at brand X.

• 51:11Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 51:11Travis McElroy?

  Uh, why did I ever go anywhere else for my great pants?

• 51:15Griffin McElroy?

  They weren't pants from the store, were they?

• 51:17Speaker 09

  Um, I was, they replaced them for me.

• 51:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, okay, can I just say, then, your wrong question. How do you ensure that it happens every time so you get free pants from work?

• 51:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, free new pants.

• 51:28Travis McElroy?

  Or, or you could, you could even play it off like, um, oh, you know, with other pants, I might worry, but here, they'll replace them if you tear them at work, so it's not even a problem. It's-

• 51:37Griffin McElroy?

  It's like, anytime I'm in the parking lot of a hospital, my mind just sort of, without any sort of reason, will offer up the thought, "It's the best place to get in a terrible car accident." They'll fix you up right here.

• 51:54Travis McElroy?

  If I had worked the best by day one, for whatever reason, I had brought in my TV from home and dropped it and they gave me a new one, you best believe I'm bringing in every electronic I own from that. Oh no! And doing it every time.

• 52:07Griffin McElroy?

  Were the pants you got nicer pants?

• 52:10Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 52:10Griffin McElroy?

  Did you have to pay for them?

• 52:12Travis McElroy?

  No, my manager did.

• 52:14Griffin McElroy?

  The manager paid for the pants?

• 52:16Travis McElroy?

  Persephone, this is a good place. I would stick with this place. It sounds alright.

• 52:20Travis McElroy?

  It is great. I quit because of...

• 52:24Travis McElroy?

  Now, Persephone, can I ask you a question? Yes. And did you... You made me bust my collar, Persephone. Did you quit, did you quit between the time you sent this question in and now? So you had already quit before you asked us, "How do I go back?" This was a while back.

• 52:41Travis McElroy?

  Okay, Persephone, did you quit while you were wearing the pants that were gifted to you?

• 52:45Travis McElroy?

  I might have. Okay, you say, "These new pants have given me such confidence."

• 52:52Travis McElroy?

  I realize I don't need this job anymore.

• 52:54Griffin McElroy?

  I came here to pull off one very specific, short-run grift.

• 53:02Griffin McElroy?

  I don't need the paycheck. Thank you. These pants cost $340.

• 53:09Travis McElroy?

  Everybody here can learn something from this.

• 53:12Griffin McElroy?

  Absolutely.

• 53:13Travis McElroy?

  Persephone, does that help?

• 53:14Travis McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 53:15Travis McElroy?

  Thank you. Oh, what a riot.

• 53:17Griffin McElroy?

  Hi, how's it going?

• 53:18Speaker 10

  Hello, I'm good. How are you?

• 53:20Griffin McElroy?

  Very good.

• 53:20Travis McElroy?

  So good, thank you.

• 53:22Speaker 10

  Hello, Tampa audience.

• 53:23Griffin McElroy?

  Hello, Tampa audience.

• 53:24Travis McElroy?

  Everyone say hello!

• 53:28Speaker 10

  I am truly going faster than fear right now because this is a little intimidating.

• 53:33Travis McElroy?

  I appreciate you taking the time to hype up the audience. No one ever does that for us. It's never been done before. I appreciate that. No one ever says, "Hi, everybody." It's just basic manners.

• 53:46Griffin McElroy?

  Who are you?

• 53:47Speaker 10

  Oh, I'm Mackie.

• 53:48Griffin McElroy?

  Hello, Mackie.

• 53:49Travis McElroy?

  Hey, Griffin, can I just say real quick, when they say that they're moving faster than fear, and then you ask, "Who are you?"

• 53:55Griffin McElroy?

  Is maybe not.

• 53:57Travis McElroy?

  Who are you? Justify yourself.

• 54:02Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think I asked it in a way that made you feel nervous, did I?

• 54:06Speaker 10

  It's okay. That should have been the first thing I said.

• 54:08Griffin McElroy?

  No, it's, I mean, yeah, but...

• 54:14Griffin McElroy?

  But other than that, you're doing great so far. Maggie, I'm sorry. I really don't want to project this energy. It's the fucking jumpsuit. I look so cool right now.

• 54:23Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, why does this energy never fucking stick to your brand? That's what I want to know. Why is this brand all like rainbows and eating bananas? You forget he's a dick like 80% of the time.

• 54:39Travis McElroy?

  He just like gives you this like, "Am I a stinker?" look. I guess you are.

• 54:42Travis McElroy?

  Water off a dick's back.

• 54:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Maggie, I'm so excited for your question.

• 54:47Travis McElroy?

  Maybe when he hits 40, that gravy train will finally run out, right? Everybody in it will get on to his fucking act.

• 54:53Griffin McElroy?

  So, I'm so sorry. I'm really curious.

• 54:55Travis McElroy?

  I'm sorry too, Maggie. I'm sorry, Ur.

• 54:58Speaker 10

  It's okay, it's okay.

• 54:59Griffin McElroy?

  What's your question?

• 55:00Speaker 10

  Uh, I had a couple of questions.

• 55:01Griffin McElroy?

  You had one about being a NASA employee?

• 55:04Speaker 10

  Uh, yes.

• 55:05Griffin McElroy?

  And a certain factor of your job.

• 55:07Speaker 10

  Yes, I am a NASA employee. I... Yeah! Space program. Um, I love my job. How can I be more interested in the very frequent launches that happen while I'm there?

• 55:24Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. This is so interesting, Maggie, because there was a sort of syntactical debate between us on stage.

• 55:31Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, a discrepancy as to what your intention of the question was. So, when you ask that, when you say, "How can I be more interested..." My read was, and I'm feeling very confident now, that you were like, "These launches are so frequent, I've lost interest in them."

• 55:46Griffin McElroy?

  Versus, "How do I sneak out to go to these kick-ass rocket ship launches?" Which is what me and Justin thought the question was.

• 55:54Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, where are you at?

• 55:55Griffin McElroy?

  You're saying, "These launches are so frequent, you need, you need something to rekindle the fire, perhaps."

• 56:02Speaker 10

  So, yeah, they happen a lot, and...

• 56:05Travis McElroy?

  Wait, not a lot, though, right? Wait, how frequent?

• 56:10Travis McElroy?

  Like, more than you guys are telling people a lot.

• 56:15Travis McElroy?

  Don't just say a lot, how many times a day? Yeah.

• 56:20Speaker 10

  It's a lot. Like, they have a counter before you get in through the gate. I think we're at 15, somebody...

• 56:27Travis McElroy?

  15 launches for the year so far.

• 56:29Speaker 10

  For this year so far.

• 56:30Travis McElroy?

  Here's one thing I would do. You could see that from a lot of different places. I would probably try to sell tickets. Like, if you set up a cool little theater someplace, or maybe just some lawn chairs...

• 56:42Travis McElroy?

  Open a Burger King franchise nearby?

• 56:46Travis McElroy?

  How close can you open a Burger King?

• 56:48Travis McElroy?

  Good question. And then sell tickets for parking at the parking lot?

• 56:52Travis McElroy?

  Actually, it would be interesting to record for history how far away you have to build a Burger King from a rocket launch place. In case that number changes.

• 57:02Travis McElroy?

  But you're not a Johnny Rockets?

• 57:03Travis McElroy?

  Right, you could just remember that. You know, it used to be illegal to build Burger Kings near rocket places.

• 57:09Travis McElroy?

  All I'm saying is if I'm an astronaut, I'm on my way to the launch, and I see a window where I could order a burger on my way? That's a good market that no one's capitalizing on. Does it scare you if you don't know it's about to happen?

• 57:24Speaker 10

  It does, actually.

• 57:25Travis McElroy?

  They don't tell you?

• 57:26Speaker 10

  They do, but I delete the emails.

• 57:30Travis McElroy?

  Okay, I can't blame you, yeah. So they tell you big fire explosion happening nearby, and you're like, "Mm, seen it."

• 57:36Speaker 10

  The windows just start shaking, and you hear a noise. And I'm in the middle of a meeting, trying to like, "Oh, uh, is this planned? Everybody, is this planned?"

• 57:45Travis McElroy?

  Is this planned? Is this planned? Is this planned? I mean, as opposed to what?

• 57:51Travis McElroy?

  It's really good that I'm not a rocket person, because I think that I would probably try to get you fired if I heard that. If I was like, if I saw you like freak out once on about a rocket launch, that everybody around me was like, "Hell, yeah, 3:37 today, right, Mike?"

• 58:07Travis McElroy?

  Mackie. They did the countdown and everything. Can you not assume that if it was not planned? Like, here's the thing. If you've ever flown on an airplane, and you start to panic about plane travel, look to the flight attendants and see if they're freaking out or not, right? Yeah, yeah. Hey, hold on, hold on, you sure? Okay, but now... Just saying. Okay, so two years ago, what I just said is true. But what I'm saying now is, this is as if I'm on the plane, and I look out the window, and the plane starts to leave the ground, and the flight attendants go, "What the fuck is happening?"

• 58:44Griffin McElroy?

  Is there someone in the office who goes around like,

• 58:47Travis McElroy?

  "Oh, boy!"

• 58:48Griffin McElroy?

  Is there someone in the office sort of monitoring enthusiasm from the employee? No, there's obviously some-

• 58:56Travis McElroy?

  There must be someone like, "Oh shit, again?"

• 58:59Griffin McElroy?

  Is there someone who's like looking-

• 59:00Travis McElroy?

  That was today?

• 59:01Griffin McElroy?

  There's someone who's like, "Did you see the launch, Mackie?" Like, is anyone making sure that you're as fired up about this as you're supposed to be?

• 59:09Travis McElroy?

  Does that help?

• 59:10Speaker 10

  It does.

• 59:11Griffin McElroy?

  I do just, I want to let you know, Mackie, before you go, that there's a little bit of perspective I'd like to offer, which is that our jobs do not offer us any kind of exclusive rocket launch access.

• 59:22Travis McElroy?

  Not exclusive.

• 59:23Griffin McElroy?

  No, we get to see it with everyone else, basically, so-

• 59:26Speaker 10

  Until I sell tickets?

• 59:28Griffin McElroy?

  Until you sell tickets to your Burger King drive-in.

• 59:32Travis McElroy?

  Mackie, I'll switch places with you. We'll switch places any day.

• 59:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 59:37Speaker 10

  I love my job.

• 59:37Griffin McElroy?

  Does that help, Mackie?

• 59:38Speaker 10

  It does.

• 59:39Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you so much for coming. You did an amazing job.

• 59:43Speaker 07

  Hello. Hi there, I'm Benjamin.

• 59:46Travis McElroy?

  Hello, Benjamin.

• 59:47Griffin McElroy?

  Did I say your name weird?

• 59:48Speaker 07

  You said it perfectly fine.

• 59:49Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you so much, Benjamin.

• 59:51Travis McElroy?

  Benjamin, do not, do not suck up to my brother.

• 59:55Speaker 07

  Benjamin, yes.

• 59:56Griffin McElroy?

  Hello, Benjamin.

• 59:57Travis McElroy?

  Benjamin!

• 59:58Speaker 07

  My father, and I've learned that your father have very similar tastes in music.

• 1:00:05Travis McElroy?

  So you're saying we have the same father?

• 1:00:06Griffin McElroy?

  Whoa, Benjamin.

• 1:00:07Travis McElroy?

  A twist I didn't see coming.

• 1:00:09Speaker 07

  Am I the fourth? Yikes.

• 1:00:11Travis McElroy?

  Could it be? Or am I the fourth?

• 1:00:13Speaker 07

  Oh, shit.

• 1:00:14Travis McElroy?

  Oh, wait.

• 1:00:15Speaker 07

  Hmm.

• 1:00:15Travis McElroy?

  Anyway-

• 1:00:16Travis McElroy?

  Please, go ahead.

• 1:00:18Speaker 07

  Uh, my dad loves Chicago the band.

• 1:00:22Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 1:00:22Travis McElroy?

  Thank you for clarifying.

• 1:00:23Speaker 07

  I have recently come to discover that your dad loves Chicago, uh, based on the, the most recent McElroy Family Clubhouse.

• 1:00:30Griffin McElroy?

  Sure.

• 1:00:30Speaker 07

  Uh, fantastic episode, by the way.

• 1:00:32Travis McElroy?

  Thank you, thank you, wow, wow, thanks.

• 1:00:34Travis McElroy?

  Wow.

• 1:00:35Travis McElroy?

  Thank you, thank you so much.

• 1:00:36Travis McElroy?

  You'll get your money later, Benjamin.

• 1:00:38Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you so much, Benjamin.

• 1:00:39Travis McElroy?

  Like and subscribe, like and subscribe. What a weird place to meet a fan, wow, sheesh.

• 1:00:42Speaker 07

  Uh, anyway, my, uh, my dad lives about an hour north of here. I, I flew down from Vermont just to see you guys.

• 1:00:48Griffin McElroy?

  Holy shit, thank you, Benjamin.

• 1:00:50Travis McElroy?

  So wait, you flew down from Vermont, but your dad lives an hour north of you?

• 1:00:54Speaker 07

  Yeah, we're not- We're not super tight.

• 1:00:56Travis McElroy?

  Nice. Okay.

• 1:00:57Travis McElroy?

  Hey Benjamin, speak on that.

• 1:00:59Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, actually no, because the stakes of this are already super high and now they're kind of weirdly super duper high.

• 1:01:06Speaker 07

  Yeah, I don't want to infringe on the

• 1:01:07Travis McElroy?

  Thank you so much Benjamin, yeah.

• 1:01:08Speaker 07

  Uh, but yeah, I uh, I want to impress him with a deep cut Chicago the Band factoid.

• 1:01:15Travis McElroy?

  Alright.

• 1:01:16Speaker 07

  And I know your dad's here, so like, who wants to come in?

• 1:01:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Dad, are you, dad, do you want to come out and drop some?

• 1:01:26Griffin McElroy?

  Hi Matt.

• 1:01:28Speaker 03

  I need to talk to you three.

• 1:01:29Travis McElroy?

  Can I tell you, it would be wild if with your fake family, you also use the name Clint McElroy? And Benjamin was a fan of the podcast and never put that together.

• 1:01:40Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 1:01:41Griffin McElroy?

  Dad, Benjamin needs a sick ass Chicago fact.

• 1:01:45Travis McElroy?

  Yep.

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  How many you need?

• 1:01:48Griffin McElroy?

  Benjamin also watched the most-

• 1:01:49Travis McElroy?

  Hey, hey, hey, can I answer? Hey, can I also stress?

• 1:01:53Griffin McElroy?

  Like three tops.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  Three, got it.

• 1:01:54Travis McElroy?

  I'm also gonna stress, when we got this question, I told our dad, he was not allowed to do any research about this. This had to be off the top of the dome. So what dad is about to spit is what dad knows in his heart.

• 1:02:07Griffin McElroy?

  Also Benjamin watched the most recent McElroy Family Clubhouse and will burn your ass to the ground if you bring anything that you shared there.

• 1:02:13Travis McElroy?

  Recycle that old business.

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  Oh, it's gotta be something new.

• 1:02:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:16Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, a new Chicago fact in the last 24 hours.

• 1:02:23Speaker 03

  In the album, Chicago 7.

• 1:02:27Griffin McElroy?

  If you guys need to go to the bathroom, by the way, this is basically gonna be a little convo between dad and Benjamin.

• 1:02:32Speaker 03

  There was an iron-on transfer of the Chicago logo with a cardinal on it. Yeah, when was the last time you got an album?

• 1:02:40Travis McElroy?

  Wait, sorry dad. Hey dad, can I just tell you just a little quick director's note? You didn't deliver that like it was the end of the fact. You delivered it like it was a question you were asking Benjamin.

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  Gotcha.

• 1:02:53Travis McElroy?

  Maybe next time the inflection should be, "There was"

• 1:02:55Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:02:56Travis McElroy?

  "A thing with a cardinal on it" instead of, "There was a thing with a cardinal on it."

• 1:03:00Travis McElroy?

  I've been talking about how we need to, at our live shows, have less pressure on ourselves to always be joking, like we need to leave room. We need to leave room to like just talk as people because the energy gets a little like eh. I am now second guessing that in a major way. I actually think that impulse is completely wrong.

• 1:03:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:20Travis McElroy?

  Uh, sorry dad, go ahead.

• 1:03:21Speaker 03

  I am talking to your brother. So.

• 1:03:26Speaker 03

  Uh, they were once sued by a bus company.

• 1:03:30Griffin McElroy?

  Chicago Transit Authority.

• 1:03:31Speaker 03

  Because their original name was Chicago Transit Authority. They were sued by the actual bus company, Chicago Transit Authority, to change their name, which is why they are known as Chicago.

• 1:03:44Travis McElroy?

  It's weird that the city of Chicago never sued them. Like, what if people are confused and we, they think you're the city of Chicago?

• 1:03:51Griffin McElroy?

  What if people traveled to you, the band Chicago?

• 1:03:55Travis McElroy?

  And then try to eat pizza while standing on you?

• 1:03:58Speaker 03

  Factoid number two, the original seven members.

• 1:04:01Travis McElroy?

  Wait, no, no, you've done two already. Don't try to fucking. This is three!

• 1:04:03Speaker 03

  I said, they said three.

• 1:04:05Travis McElroy?

  Yes, but these is three. The cardinal dumb one.

• 1:04:08Speaker 03

  Pete Sotera, Robert Lamb, Terry Caff, Danny Serra from Lee Lockname, Walter Perez 88, James Pankell. The original seven members of the Funky Windy City Seven.

• 1:04:20Travis McElroy?

  Ladies and gentlemen, my.

• 1:04:21Speaker 03

  Chicago.

• 1:04:22Travis McElroy?

  My boring old dad. Ladies and gentlemen, again, one more big round of applause.

• 1:04:26Griffin McElroy?

  Does that help Benjamin?

• 1:04:28Travis McElroy?

  Thank you Benjamin. Thank you Benjamin.

• 1:04:30Griffin McElroy?

  Thanks, thank you Clint.

• 1:04:31Travis McElroy?

  Thank you. Thank you Mac.

• 1:04:34Travis McElroy?

  Man.

• 1:04:35Griffin McElroy?

  Hi.

• 1:04:35Travis McElroy?

  Can you imagine how? Can you imagine how jazzed his dad's gonna be when he plays that bit for him? Like, can you believe it? The McRory Brothers talked about you.

• 1:04:45Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry that he said that he was my dad so much.

• 1:04:49Travis McElroy?

  Also.

• 1:04:50Griffin McElroy?

  That'd be weird for you.

• 1:04:51Travis McElroy?

  Benjamin, I'm gonna give you the beginning of this and you can finish it. Something about Pete Sotera. There's something about Pet et cetera. There's something about like.

• 1:04:59Griffin McElroy?

  He opened his own pet store called Pets et cetera.

• 1:05:01Travis McElroy?

  Something in there. You can use that. It's probably better.

• 1:05:04Griffin McElroy?

  This isn't funny, but when you find it, it's gonna be fucking hysterical.

• 1:05:07Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you're gonna laugh at about two weeks.

• 1:05:08Griffin McElroy?

  Hello.

• 1:05:09Travis McElroy?

  Hi.

• 1:05:10Travis McElroy?

  Hey, what's up?

• 1:05:10Speaker 11

  Hey, brothers. I'm Charles, he/him.

• 1:05:12Travis McElroy?

  Hi, Charles.

• 1:05:13Speaker 11

  Uh, so I just moved to Florida from Des Moines, Iowa. And I just got a job at a warehouse last month.

• 1:05:21Travis McElroy?

  Right. You sound so surprised, Charles.

• 1:05:24Speaker 11

  No, it's shocking.

• 1:05:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it sounds like they called you and said, "You're working at a warehouse."

• 1:05:28Speaker 11

  No, yeah.

• 1:05:29Travis McElroy?

  Did you apply to this job?

• 1:05:30Speaker 11

  I was an independent artist prior to this, so the fact that I got a job at a warehouse is shocking to me.

• 1:05:36Travis McElroy?

  Okay, cool. You were on Only Farmers.

• 1:05:37Speaker 11

  Yeah, that's exactly right, yeah. Uh, so, I work at a coffee roastery. And we, uh, a few months before I got hired, we got a machine that packages K-cups specifically.

• 1:05:51Travis McElroy?

  Cool.

• 1:05:51Speaker 11

  And everybody at the warehouse is terrified to use this machine, except for the one person who's allowed to use this machine. And they decided that I should be the trainee that learns under them how to use this.

• 1:06:05Travis McElroy?

  Alright.

• 1:06:06Speaker 11

  So, the training that I got was, first you push the start button.

• 1:06:11Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:12Speaker 11

  And now you guys know how to use the K-cup machine.

• 1:06:15Travis McElroy?

  Fuck, yeah! Okay. I could go get my license right now.

• 1:06:18Speaker 11

  Right now.

• 1:06:19Travis McElroy?

  So, what's the question?

• 1:06:20Speaker 11

  The question is, I need to know how to keep K-Fabe, that this is a scary machine that only I should be allowed to touch, because while I was being trained, the person who trained me said, "Push the start button," and then started watching Wedding Crashers on their phone.

• 1:06:37Travis McElroy?

  Fucking hell, man! Now, wait, sorry, Charles, is that an intrinsic part of the process?

• 1:06:44Travis McElroy?

  Charles, did they look up from their phone and say, "Uh, Charles, if you fuck this up for me, I will kill you." I've been running this grift for ten years.

• 1:06:53Travis McElroy?

  Did they say you can watch any movie with Vince Vaughn in it, but if you don't, the machine will explode? Also, don't get it twisted, Fred Claus doesn't count. Fred Claus, weirdly, doesn't work. And I get this, Charles, because K-cups can't...

• 1:07:07Travis McElroy?

  Wait, wait, wait, what is your question, Charles?

• 1:07:09Speaker 11

  How do I keep everybody thinking that this machine is very scary, so only I get to use it?

• 1:07:16Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, sure, cool. Okay, but here's the thing, because I think K-cups are inherently scary, because people are used to tampons and pads, and K-cups are new. Travis!

• 1:07:33Travis McElroy?

  It's a good joke. I mean, it's a good joke.

• 1:07:35Griffin McElroy?

  It kicks ass. It kicks ass.

• 1:07:38Travis McElroy?

  It's a good joke. Um, Charles.

• 1:07:41Travis McElroy?

  Charles, how much of a buildup do you think you can sustain before you actually press the button? Like, do you think you could get a good?

• 1:07:47Travis McElroy?

  Stand back!

• 1:07:48Travis McElroy?

  Like, a good 15 minutes of, like, getting close to it, and you're like, "Mmm, no, okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."

• 1:07:52Travis McElroy?

  Wait, what's the weather outside? Cloudy? Fuck, no!

• 1:07:56Griffin McElroy?

  The humidity's too high.

• 1:07:58Travis McElroy?

  Everybody, everybody just shut up. Everybody just shut up. For one second I could do it. Everybody just shut up.

• 1:08:02Travis McElroy?

  Let's change the pH!

• 1:08:04Griffin McElroy?

  Too close, Paul. You're too close, Paul. Can you bring a friend into work under the guise of they now work there, but they only show up one day, and then they never show up, and if anyone asks you what happened to them, you'd be like, "Yeah, man, I fell in the fucking K-Cup machine, got turned into K-cups."

• 1:08:20Travis McElroy?

  Got cups, bro. Got cups real hard.

• 1:08:24Travis McElroy?

  Hey, how much of your pinky do you need?

• 1:08:29Griffin McElroy?

  Cool.

• 1:08:31Travis McElroy?

  Hey, I said "need."

• 1:08:34Speaker 11

  Probably not as much as I think.

• 1:08:36Griffin McElroy?

  You would need one finger for the K-Cup machine button, I know that much.

• 1:08:40Travis McElroy?

  One button to start, another one to start wetting grasses.

• 1:08:43Travis McElroy?

  Wait a minute, wait a minute. This is actually really important, really important. If you press the start button, will it just go forever? Is there some way to stop it? Is there, is it going right now?

• 1:08:54Speaker 11

  So...

• 1:08:55Travis McElroy?

  Is there a mannequin of you sitting in the seat?

• 1:08:58Travis McElroy?

  Is there an off?

• 1:09:00Speaker 11

  There is an off switch.

• 1:09:02Travis McElroy?

  So why are we freaked about AI? This is my thing. Sorry, go ahead.

• 1:09:06Speaker 11

  The machine will stop itself if the lid is off a little bit, and then you go, "Oh, I'm sorry." Fix the lid.

• 1:09:14Travis McElroy?

  Now, that sounds scary to me.

• 1:09:15Speaker 11

  And then you push the start button again.

• 1:09:18Travis McElroy?

  You have to reach deep into the machine to knock the lid in place?

• 1:09:23Travis McElroy?

  It keeps going, so you just have to wait for your opportunity to just reach in real quick and grab it out? Charles, does that help?

• 1:09:30Speaker 11

  That super helps.

• 1:09:31Travis McElroy?

  Thank you, Charles. Thank you.

• 1:09:34Griffin McElroy?

  Hello.

• 1:09:34Speaker 12

  Hello.

• 1:09:35Travis McElroy?

  How's it going?

• 1:09:36Speaker 12

  I'm pretty nervous, so I'm living faster than fear of just being here, so...

• 1:09:41Griffin McElroy?

  Like, I appreciate you living faster than fear while very clearly wearing a protest shirt for Tommy Brothers.

• 1:09:47Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Is that why you're nervous because of the bootleg merch?

• 1:09:53Speaker 12

  I didn't think you'd see this. I was like, "I'm not gonna..."

• 1:09:55Travis McElroy?

  You didn't think we'd see it? You wrote a question in and then you sat in the spotlight. I'm actually really glad you asked a question because at the beginning of the show, like before when we did sound check, I said, can we move the light a little bit? Because it's like right on that person's face. And they scooted it over a little bit and then it was right in your face. And then you stood up to ask a question. I went, oh, okay.

• 1:10:14Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, good. What, hello?

• 1:10:16Travis McElroy?

  How can we help?

• 1:10:16Travis McElroy?

  May I please ask your name?

• 1:10:18Speaker 12

  My name is Rosie.

• 1:10:20Griffin McElroy?

  Is that better?

• 1:10:21Travis McElroy?

  That was really good.

• 1:10:22Griffin McElroy?

  Kick ass, awesome.

• 1:10:23Travis McElroy?

  Actually, Griffin, it was, it was worse. You heard it though, right?

• 1:10:25Griffin McElroy?

  I did, I heard that one.

• 1:10:27Travis McElroy?

  Okay, but you heard it.

• 1:10:27Griffin McElroy?

  The vibe, the vibe was off.

• 1:10:29Travis McElroy?

  Like even in trying to riff on it, it's like, yeah, sure. Okay, so go ahead.

• 1:10:32Speaker 12

  Um, this is also kind of about my dad, coincidentally.

• 1:10:35Griffin McElroy?

  Kick ass.

• 1:10:35Travis McElroy?

  Wait, what?

• 1:10:39Speaker 12

  I didn't mention it in the question. I didn't think you'd choose it, actually.

• 1:10:42Griffin McElroy?

  It's a kick ass question, Rosie.

• 1:10:43Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, Rosie.

• 1:10:44Speaker 12

  So my dad likes to buy pheasants.

• 1:10:46Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, we've been there.

• 1:10:47Speaker 12

  He lives in Missouri. This is his second pair of pheasants that he's gotten.

• 1:10:50Griffin McElroy?

  Hold on, hold on, hold on. You just dropped two things on us really fast. With a tone of voice of like, you know, he lives in Missouri, pheasant country, and bought a pair of them. Like you have to do or they'll kill each other.

• 1:11:04Travis McElroy?

  And can I also say, the second pair of pheasants implies that the first pair went out at the same time?

• 1:11:14Speaker 12

  No, the first pair is fine. They're still there.

• 1:11:15Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, great.

• 1:11:16Travis McElroy?

  Okay. So why not his first quadruple pair of pheasants?

• 1:11:22Griffin McElroy?

  Let's hear Rosie's question.

• 1:11:23Speaker 12

  Um, so he got a golden, a pair of golden pheasants originally. And then he got really interested in tragopan pheasants. I don't know if you've seen their mating displays. They're really weird. I thought-

• 1:11:33Travis McElroy?

  Wait, sorry, trag, tragopan?

• 1:11:34Speaker 12

  Tragopan, I think.

• 1:11:35Travis McElroy?

  I've not seen their mating displays.

• 1:11:37Speaker 12

  They-

• 1:11:37Griffin McElroy?

  I've seen a lot of other pheasant mating displays.

• 1:11:39Travis McElroy?

  I thought you said dragon pan at first.

• 1:11:41Travis McElroy?

  Dragon pan I've seen there. Sorry, go ahead.

• 1:11:43Speaker 12

  They're really weird. I thought it was an AI.

• 1:11:45Travis McElroy?

  Even for pheasant mating displays, they're weird.

• 1:11:47Speaker 12

  Yeah.

• 1:11:48Travis McElroy?

  Really?

• 1:11:48Griffin McElroy?

  Trying to ask, unless it's like, yucky.

• 1:11:52Speaker 12

  No, it's, it's really cool. They look kind of like aliens. They've got this like multicolored flap that like opens up.

• 1:11:59Travis McElroy?

  No, sorry. Hey, hey, hey, Rosie.

• 1:12:01Speaker 12

  It's weird.

• 1:12:02Travis McElroy?

  Where's the flap?

• 1:12:03Speaker 12

  On their like-

• 1:12:04Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, but hold on, no, hold on.

• 1:12:05Speaker 12

  Look at it.

• 1:12:05Griffin McElroy?

  They do look like an avatar bird. Paul, if you could pull up a picture of a tragopan pheasant?

• 1:12:13Travis McElroy?

  No. No, there's better pictures.

• 1:12:15Travis McElroy?

  Hey, you shot your shot, Paul. It's all good, man.

• 1:12:17Travis McElroy?

  Okay, but we can all agree that they're saying, in a breeding thing, in a mating ritual, they open up their flap. That maybe there might be some... These guys look fucking... This picture does not do credit to how fucking avatar-ass these birds look. Holy shit.

• 1:12:30Travis McElroy?

  Can I say something earnestly for a second? I never would have thought that I would have a career that is specifically built to just bring me the world's most fascinating people. But I feel so thrilled to come out here, and this is our first show this year. I feel so thrilled to come out here and meet you absolute maniacs.

• 1:12:51Travis McElroy?

  You're the most fascinating humans on the planet.

• 1:12:53Travis McElroy?

  And can I say my favorite thing? We haven't even gotten to the actual question.

• 1:12:58Travis McElroy?

  So, how can we help?

• 1:13:01Speaker 12

  Um, one of them escaped the enclosure.

• 1:13:03Travis McElroy?

  Fuck! Male or female?

• 1:13:06Speaker 12

  Um, the female. We have the male...

• 1:13:07Travis McElroy?

  The tragopan or the golden?

• 1:13:08Speaker 12

  The tragopan.

• 1:13:09Travis McElroy?

  Okay, this all helps.

• 1:13:11Speaker 12

  Um, the female's name is, uh, no. The female's name is Winter. The male is Vivaldi.

• 1:13:17Travis McElroy?

  Yep.

• 1:13:17Speaker 12

  Um, there's another female that they have not named yet. I... We don't know.

• 1:13:21Travis McElroy?

  They didn't want to go spring or fall, the other four seasons?

• 1:13:24Speaker 12

  Again, my dad is an interesting guy. He loves Vivaldi.

• 1:13:27Travis McElroy?

  I'd say... Yeah, sounds like... Way more interesting than our dad. He was just out here. Did you hear him? Did you hear him? He just talked about the band Chicago, not cool bird shit.

• 1:13:37Travis McElroy?

  I bet pheasants make cool bird shit. I bet so.

• 1:13:40Travis McElroy?

  What if pheasants... So, pheasants?

• 1:13:42Speaker 12

  Yeah.

• 1:13:43Travis McElroy?

  Right? That's fucking crazy! They look like... Imagine the stumbling on that shit. He looks like the spitter dinosaur that killed Wayne Knight.

• 1:13:53Travis McElroy?

  Or like a cool rave vagina. Travis?

• 1:14:00Travis McElroy?

  Travis.

• 1:14:01Travis McElroy?

  I'm saying if you saw...

• 1:14:02Travis McElroy?

  How dare you say what Griffin was thinking?

• 1:14:06Travis McElroy?

  You're stonelizing him.

• 1:14:07Travis McElroy?

  No, no, hold on! What's a... No, hold on! What's a rave vagina, Travis? What the fuck does that mean, Travis? If you saw a vagina under a black light. Travis, that's...

• 1:14:24Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Get that gone, get that gone.

• 1:14:30Travis McElroy?

  So, uh...

• 1:14:31Travis McElroy?

  My face hurts.

• 1:14:32Travis McElroy?

  You need help?

• 1:14:33Travis McElroy?

  What do you want? What do you want? Like, what do you want?

• 1:14:37Travis McElroy?

  You destroyed our camera.

• 1:14:39Travis McElroy?

  Look at that shit, that's crazy! What do you want? Why do you want this to come back? You just want this to be away from you!

• 1:14:46Travis McElroy?

  This is somebody painted this mural on the wall of a laser tag blaze, and the boss is like, "I think I need to fire him because I think that's a vagina."

• 1:14:54Travis McElroy?

  I need that, that's a bird. I'll tell you where it is. It probably got stolen by an insane wizard.

• 1:14:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:58Travis McElroy?

  Like, look at it, it's incredible.

• 1:15:00Travis McElroy?

  What's the question?

• 1:15:02Travis McElroy?

  What do you want?

• 1:15:05Travis McElroy?

  How do you kill it?

• 1:15:06Travis McElroy?

  No. It's weak spot, just look! It's the purple.

• 1:15:13Speaker 12

  Need some tips on how to catch it?

• 1:15:14Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 1:15:15Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:15:17Travis McElroy?

  So, what is a pheasant?

• 1:15:17Travis McElroy?

  Hey, can I just say, when I look at that bird, don't look fast? Or it looks extremely fucking fast. It's either one of the two. Yeah, you actually don't get to look that stupid and be slow at the same time.

• 1:15:28Travis McElroy?

  Can your dad get his hands on some space mushrooms? Because that's the diet of this guy, I bet. What you're going to want is a varied environment that'll appeal to a pheasant. So you're gonna wanna put out some grain, some sorghum, some wheat. Did you look up pheasant shit backstage? So, I did, but then...

• 1:15:53Travis McElroy?

  Then I got on TikTok.

• 1:15:58Travis McElroy?

  So I have burnt through what I remember.

• 1:16:01Travis McElroy?

  Justin, could you recreate some pheasant calls?

• 1:16:03Travis McElroy?

  Travis, let me finish.

• 1:16:04Travis McElroy?

  Some pheasant calls for us?

• 1:16:12Travis McElroy?

  That was him clearing his throat!

• 1:16:14Travis McElroy?

  Guys? If you laugh during it, you can mess it up.

• 1:16:19Travis McElroy?

  This is something that Josie can play on their phone.

• 1:16:22Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, play it on your phone, it's recorded. Pheasants are easily spooked. Please stay absolutely silent while my brother does pheasant calls he learned on TikTok. Please be quiet!

• 1:16:34Travis McElroy?

  Shut up! Shut up!

• 1:16:45Travis McElroy?

  There you go.

• 1:16:45Griffin McElroy?

  Does that help?

• 1:16:48Speaker 12

  Yes, I will play these for my dad.

• 1:16:49Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 1:16:50Travis McElroy?

  Play those for your dad, he's gonna love them. Tell your dad he owes me $20 on OnlyFans.

• 1:16:54Griffin McElroy?

  Whoa.

• 1:16:55Travis McElroy?

  Whoa. Thank you, you can bring the lights down. Hey Tampa, you've been such a lot of fun.

• 1:17:00Griffin McElroy?

  Tampa, thank you, this is our first show of 2025 of 20 Thunder Drive. You all have been fucking incredible.

• 1:17:05Travis McElroy?

  You're amazing.

• 1:17:06Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you so much.

• 1:17:07Travis McElroy?

  I'm waiting an appropriate amount of time for Paul to get back to the table to talk about Matty's posters, whenever Paul's ready. Can we go to the poster, Paul? There it is.

• 1:17:21Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you so much, there's our poster.

• 1:17:22Travis McElroy?

  Thank you, Matty Lundquist.

• 1:17:24Griffin McElroy?

  Grab one of those, if there's any left, we signed a whole bunch of them. There's also coins out there. All proceeds from these coins go to feeding Tampa Bay. It's a beautiful double-sided, no matter which theme you've really resonated with this year.

• 1:17:39Travis McElroy?

  And if you don't already have tickets, we're gonna be here tomorrow night as well doing The Adventure Zone.

• 1:17:47Travis McElroy?

  Doing Taz versus Romeo versus Juliet.

• 1:17:51Griffin McElroy?

  It's gonna be a fun time. Thank you to Montane for the use of our theme song, "My Life is Better With You." It is a fantastic track, we're so grateful to be able to use it.

• 1:18:01Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, we have a Faster Than Fear, this is going to be our first line, Faster Than Fear. And I think because of the outfit Griffin is wearing and the character discussed in the thing and maybe what he might be if you squint your eyes reminiscent of.

• 1:18:15Griffin McElroy?

  What are you talking about?

• 1:18:16Travis McElroy?

  That Griffin should read this question, maybe Justin and I will quietly vroom, vroom, vroom. Yeah?

• 1:18:22Griffin McElroy?

  That's not what Cars said, you will practice this, but that's not what Cars said.

• 1:18:29Griffin McElroy?

  This year I am going to be faster than my fear of the Kool-Aid Man.

• 1:18:35Travis McElroy?

  I'm Justin McElroy.

• 1:18:36Travis McElroy?

  I'm Travis McElroy.

• 1:18:37Griffin McElroy?

  Griffin McElroy.

• 1:18:38Travis McElroy?

  My brother, my brother, may kiss your dad square on the lips.

• 1:19:13Speaker 07

  Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.