Pod Insights My Brother, My Brother And Me MBMBaM 752: A Complex Story About Beans About this episode We’re celebrating our most gruntable season yet by crafting cool sentences with all the sounds. Wanna know how to join the Donut Club, or Phil’s Inner Circle? The hit play right now, because this is when we do our jobs.
Suggested Taking Points: I Am Doctor Chomp, A Huge Influx of Groundhogheads, Skin That Smokewagon, Incidental Beatles Pizza
Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com
Transcript 10,784 words · 9 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?
0:20 Speaker 01 One, two, three. It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's rapid into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you.
1:03 Speaker 01 My life, ah, it's better with you.
1:10 Travis McElroy? Hello, everybody, and welcome. My brother, my brother, me and advice for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother.
1:14 Griffin McElroy? This is untenable.
1:16 Travis McElroy? What up, Travis Nation? Vroom, vroom. It's me, your middlest brother, Travis, big dog, Wolf Wolf McElroy.
1:22 Griffin McElroy? This is Griffin. It sounds like you are trying to tell me a little secret.
1:28 Travis McElroy? Oh, see, I thought you were drunk.
1:31 Griffin McElroy? You're drunk and trying to tell me a little drunk secret.
1:34 Travis McElroy? We're at like a family wedding kind of deal and you're drunk and you're like.
1:38 Griffin McElroy? Here comes Uncle Justin.
1:40 Travis McElroy? Oh, he's gonna tell us something about Aunt, Aunt, you know, Josephine, that everybody knows, but nobody talks about.
1:47 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
1:48 Travis McElroy? Here comes Justin to tell us about it. I got.
1:50 Travis McElroy? Okay, well, I got a root canal. And this is the time that they could get me in because there's an emergency because my mouth hurts so bad.
1:58 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
1:58 Travis McElroy? And this is the time they could get me in. 11 o'clock.
2:03 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
2:03 Travis McElroy? And that is the time that I have to, after that, do my brother, my brother me here.
2:08 Griffin McElroy? Oh, so that's, that's where I start to run into issues.
2:11 Travis McElroy? Can I tell you something?
2:12 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
2:13 Travis McElroy? This is the time I do my job. You know what I mean? Like, this is the time I do my job.
2:18 Griffin McElroy? For sure, for sure.
2:19 Travis McElroy? And this is the time when the professional-
2:20 Travis McElroy? Justin, I can't believe that you would do your job and record my brother, my brother me at the same time. That kind of split focus?
2:28 Griffin McElroy? That's weird.
2:29 Travis McElroy? No, no, this is my job, Travis.
2:31 Travis McElroy? What?
2:32 Travis McElroy? This is my brother, my brother me. My brother, my brother me is my job.
2:35 Griffin McElroy? So the thing is, and obviously there's nothing implicitly funny about making fun of the way someone talks. I want to say that out loud to acknowledge it. What I'm saying is that the time we record this show is and can be quite flexible. We're your brothers and we love you and we record this bad boy a good five days in advance, so.
2:56 Travis McElroy? I love you too, man. Thank you so much.
2:57 Griffin McElroy? But it feels, it feels to me like you were almost, you sent us a video from the car like, I'm fucked up, let's do this, baby.
3:04 Travis McElroy? I wasn't. No, I wasn't.
3:06 Griffin McElroy? It almost seemed like you wanted to do that, like you wanted to see what happens.
3:11 Travis McElroy? On the job aspect of it, like if you were a pitcher and you had just gotten some kind of thing done to your arm that made your arm numb. And you're like, I put me in, coach, I'm ready to pitch.
3:22 Griffin McElroy? Or if you were a podcaster and you accidentally glued a kazoo into your mouth and then you were like,
3:28 Travis McElroy? Okay, but-
3:29 Griffin McElroy? Our podcast doesn't go up for five days. I've got this kazoo in my mouth, we gotta roll, baby.
3:35 Travis McElroy? If Wade Boggs pounds too many brewskis the night before and then the next morning-
3:39 Travis McElroy? He calls it getting bogged down, please.
3:41 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
3:41 Travis McElroy? And then next morning he's gotta go out and hit home runs, okay?
3:45 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
3:46 Travis McElroy? That's when he does his job. Do you understand? 11:30 on Wednesdays is when I do my job.
3:52 Travis McElroy? It's 12:15.
3:53 Travis McElroy? The only, yeah, I had it a little late because of my root canal. I don't know if you heard, Trav.
3:59 Griffin McElroy? I heard and continue to hear in your every word.
4:01 Travis McElroy? It held me up a little bit because he was drilling into my tooth.
4:03 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I'm just saying.
4:05 Travis McElroy? Hopefully a dentist, right?
4:07 Griffin McElroy? Tomorrow, Friday juice for me, wide open, pal. I'm saying this bad, this baseball game can play anytime we want it.
4:15 Travis McElroy? But the only reason to reschedule, there, there's only one reason is if I can't do my job. At the time I was supposed to do my job and Griffin, it's time to go to work.
4:26 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, man.
4:27 Travis McElroy? Trying to make the doughnut.
4:29 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
4:29 Travis McElroy? If I didn't have to work right now, I'd do what I always do when I'm not working. I go to my kid's school and I pull him out. I say, I could teach them more than you, you people ever could. If I didn't have to do my job, I'd do my other job, take my kids out of school and teach them everything they need to know.
4:44 Travis McElroy? Just then, I'm worried that you're.
4:45 Travis McElroy? My kids are in school. That means I'm doing my job right now.
4:48 Griffin McElroy? Right, right.
4:49 Travis McElroy? So I, I'm worried that your, the numbing has moved beyond your like lip and mouth to like your brain. Are you okay?
4:57 Griffin McElroy? The parts of your brain that exercise restraint.
5:00 Travis McElroy? Okay, I mean, it was not the most pleasant experience.
5:05 Griffin McElroy? So like any, dude, yeah.
5:07 Travis McElroy? I guess I'm feeling a little shaken up, you know?
5:09 Griffin McElroy? Okay, but I didn't, I also didn't Skype you guys into my vasectomy, right? Like, no matter how much we asked. I didn't make you a part of that.
5:18 Travis McElroy? I think, I think the difference is.
5:21 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
5:22 Travis McElroy? For the shows that you missed because of your vasectomy.
5:24 Griffin McElroy? Right.
5:25 Travis McElroy? This is when I.
5:27 Griffin McElroy? You, no, no, no, don't say that to end that sentence. That ending doesn't end that sentence. You can't say because of the time you took off for your vasectomy, this is when I do my job.
5:37 Travis McElroy? We only have so many.
5:38 Travis McElroy? I'll say it, that was the choice that you made for you, right? You used your sick days on that.
5:43 Griffin McElroy? The choice I made for me was to record the episodes.
5:45 Travis McElroy? You used your sick days on that.
5:46 Griffin McElroy? If I may, it was to record the episodes of the podcast that I would have done during vasectomy time at a different time. Do you know what I mean? That was the choice I made and I, you have made a different one today.
5:59 Travis McElroy? Okay. Yeah, but I had, when I left.
6:05 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
6:06 Travis McElroy? The, the tooth doctor.
6:07 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
6:08 Travis McElroy? My tooth doctor, Doc, Dr. Trump, he said to me.
6:12 Griffin McElroy? Hold on, what?
6:14 Travis McElroy? Make him laugh to, to they. Well, you go out there and I did my job.
6:17 Griffin McElroy? And then he took a big huff off of the nitrous that he had.
6:20 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
6:21 Griffin McElroy? And he was like, you go out there, you did the same thing for them.
6:23 Travis McElroy? Yeah. He said, he said, Justin, I'm feeling, I gotta be honest with you. I'm feeling kinda low. And I was like, that's too, I'm, I hate to hear that, Doc, Dr. Trump. And he said, just, I promised me like, I did my job, right?
6:35 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
6:35 Travis McElroy? And I was like, yeah.
6:35 Griffin McElroy? And he said, this is, this is when I do my job, is what he said.
6:39 Travis McElroy? He said, well, no, cause he had already done it at this point. He ate a cigarette.
6:43 Griffin McElroy? Just now, just now is when I do my job.
6:46 Travis McElroy? He had lit up, he had lit up in the office and he had been like, that was when I did my job.
6:50 Griffin McElroy? He's ripping, hold on, he's, this dentist was ripping darts in his own office?
6:54 Travis McElroy? I don't know if it's a dentist or not, cause my dentist won't do the root canal. So I don't know if this guy's like a different guy.
7:00 Griffin McElroy? Are they afraid of it?
7:01 Travis McElroy? It was cosmetic. It was, uh.
7:05 Griffin McElroy? A cosmetic root canal?
7:07 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
7:07 Travis McElroy? I was having some, some neon.
7:09 Griffin McElroy? Elective.
7:10 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
7:11 Griffin McElroy? Well, you just had, you had ugly roots before. I think we can all agree.
7:14 Travis McElroy? You gotta get your roots done.
7:15 Griffin McElroy? Your gnarled tooth roots.
7:18 Travis McElroy? Do you think there's ever a time when like, Dr. Trump goes to like the therapist and he's like, and my tooth hurts so bad, I can't laugh. And the therapist is like, well, you gotta go see this amazing dentist. His name is Dr. Trump. And he says, but doctor, that's the problem.
7:33 Griffin McElroy? But doctor.
7:34 Travis McElroy? I am Dr. Trump.
7:35 Travis McElroy? I am Dr. Trump, yeah. I mean, it's haunting, Travis, just to hear you put it like that.
7:38 Travis McElroy? It has to keep going up, right? Cause if you're the clown Pagliacci making the dentist laugh, okay, cool. Now who's taking care of the dentist's teeth? You know what I mean?
7:46 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
7:47 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
7:48 Travis McElroy? Who, who tooth doctors the tooth doctors man, you know?
7:51 Travis McElroy? Really, Travis, killer point, man, as always.
7:53 Travis McElroy? We don't think about this, but we're, life is about community.
7:57 Travis McElroy? Uh, I wanted to.
7:58 Travis McElroy? It takes a village to take care of teeth.
8:01 Travis McElroy? Um, Trav, do you want to speak on this? I see at the top of here, a, a Groundhog's Day update slash clarification. Is this a question or is this?
8:09 Travis McElroy? Well, so we talked.
8:10 Travis McElroy? Breaking news or what do we got here?
8:12 Travis McElroy? Uh, a lot about Groundhog's Day, uh, a couple of weeks ago, round about Groundhog's Day. We got an update from Alexis who lives in Punxsutawney. Uh, first of all, telling us that the people of Punxsutawney by and large, uh, dislike Groundhog's Day because of the huge flux of groundhog heads who come in.
8:31 Travis McElroy? Yeah, sure.
8:31 Travis McElroy? And just fill up and take advantage of the city's, uh, small infrastructure, but.
8:37 Travis McElroy? Did you say they take advantage or you say they hog it? Cause I'd say they, oh, man.
8:41 Travis McElroy? Uh, but Alexis also shared, there are some very weird things about the holiday that I think you'd enjoy. Such as the inner circle fills closest group of pals who make sure he gets the elixir of life every year. So he can continue making his predictions. Also, to answer Teresa's question, cause we talked about it on Shreemers too. The inner circle doesn't have to guess if Phil sees a shadow. They ask him directly in groundhog ease, which only the president of the inner circle can understand. Phil and Phyllis have also recently become parents to two little groundhogs, Sunny and Shadow.
9:13 Griffin McElroy? Um, I don't need to know about the groundhog's family. Everything else you said kicks ass.
9:18 Travis McElroy? Well, as far as I know, only Phil and Phyllis get the elixir of life.
9:21 Griffin McElroy? Okay. It's nice that they give them to both of them and it's not just Phil or Phyllis who then have to watch as spouses after spouses.
9:30 Travis McElroy? Oh, you should listen to the musical on TikTok about this exact subject. Cause it is, it is heart wrenching. Um, listen, the, Alexis, I do have to, to quibble with one thing. Everyone hates and Punxsutawney hates that everybody comes in to like see the groundhog and do all the groundhog stuff. And then you're like, come closer. It is actually so cool and actually cooler than anybody knows about. Like, why are you trying to make it more appealing? Now I definitely, definitely want to come and see this crazy inner circle and everything.
10:01 Travis McElroy? I don't know what the nightlife scene is in Punxsutawney, but I bet if you're in Phil's inner circle, you own that town.
10:10 Griffin McElroy? You run that shit. You will never, you will never buy your own weed if you're part of the inner circle. No way. Someone's got you.
10:19 Travis McElroy? How do you think you learn how groundhog ease? You know, you gotta reach a higher plane.
10:23 Griffin McElroy? That would be cool if this person, this elected official, I guess, I did have a sort of cult of personality about them. Like, yeah, man, one day I ascended the mountaintop. I claimed the great power within and now I can speak to groundhogs, so.
10:41 Travis McElroy? But you know that every time that happens, like that, that elected official knows that like, he is still living in the, let's call it what it is, shadow of a great man that like, yeah, he's high up there and he's wielding the power, but he is the right hand to the true king.
10:59 Griffin McElroy? To the real, yeah, to the real.
11:00 Travis McElroy? The groundhog. There must be a moment when that elected official goes to pull Phil out of whatever hut they keep him in, so that he doesn't.
11:08 Griffin McElroy? I don't think they yank, I just, do they yank him?
11:10 Travis McElroy? They freeze him, I think. I think they freeze him. I think they freeze him.
11:15 Travis McElroy? Between?
11:16 Travis McElroy? Between the days, because they've had the same guy going for a long time.
11:19 Griffin McElroy? That's the elixir of life.
11:20 Travis McElroy? The elixir of life keeps him eternal. But there must be a moment when he goes to pull him out where he thinks like, this bastard, I could, oh, he's gonna, he's gonna take all the limelight for me. But I need him. Oh, but I wish I didn't need him. I'm so jealous and I love him so much at the same time.
11:36 Griffin McElroy? That's the thing, because he can speak groundhog ease, this, the elected, um, groundhog conduit, uh, knows that Punxsutawney Phil is a, a real shithead, a real problematic fave, and he wants nothing more than to throw him right on the ground anytime he pulls him out.
11:53 Travis McElroy? Um, but no one would believe him.
11:55 Griffin McElroy? If you guys understood some of the shit that Punks and Tony, they pull him out of that hole and he immediately starts screaming just the worst stuff you've ever heard or imagined.
12:02 Travis McElroy? Griffin, you took, uh, three years of Groundhog Eats in high school, right? Would you say you're fluent?
12:08 Griffin McElroy? Uh, I took three years in high school and I took one double credit AP class in college, um, which they don't usually offer those. And so, yeah, I mean, I can speak, I can, I can read it, but I can't speak it, which sucks because they definitely can't write.
12:23 Travis McElroy? Yeah. If you found yourself, like, if you woke up right now in the middle of like a groundhog complex of tunnels, you think you could find your way out?
12:31 Griffin McElroy? I get out of it. Yeah, yeah.
12:32 Travis McElroy? You're with the way you remember.
12:33 Travis McElroy? You gotta hand it to us, right? A lot of shows don't have the guts to go on a full protracted groundhog run, a full calendar month after Groundhog Day has passed. But you can't come to us here in March. We are still gonna be on about groundhogs.
12:49 Travis McElroy? That's the thing. Uh, Christmas has a long lead up, but Groundhog Day has a long tail. You know what I mean?
12:55 Griffin McElroy? Ironic.
12:56 Travis McElroy? You gotta remember it.
12:58 Travis McElroy? Maybe if we brought him up a bit more, there'd be a bit of accountability.
13:02 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
13:03 Travis McElroy? Maybe if we remembered him in April and we're like, huh, this is weird. It doesn't exactly line up with what you were talking about. Let's check in in May. What do you think, Phil?
13:10 Travis McElroy? Or why don't we let him predict other things?
13:12 Griffin McElroy? Yes, please, God.
13:14 Travis McElroy? Why are we just asking him about that one time of year? Like, is there gonna be more winter or not? Right? Like, we all agree on his prognostication abilities and yet we're not asking him about global markets. We're not asking him about, uh, you know, anything related to like, hey, what's the future look like? Do we need to get on this problem? How are we? And he's just like, ask me about winter, boys.
13:37 Griffin McElroy? Justin is just looking more and more impressed with how much meat we've carved off this
13:42 Travis McElroy? Yeah, in March.
13:43 Griffin McElroy? Old stinky bone.
13:45 Travis McElroy? In March.
13:46 Travis McElroy? I want to ask you a question, just for old time's sake. Longtime transgender listener, first time question asker. I'm gonna be on testosterone soon and plan on doing a weekly vlog where I talk about the changes happening in my body. One I'm really looking forward to is my voice lowering. Here's my conundrum. I want a cool sentence to be able to say each week to measure how my voice changes. I thought about doing a sentence every, um, fi- fi- Phoneme, like the sound, it's like the sound.
14:15 Travis McElroy? Yes.
14:15 Travis McElroy? But they all sound lame. So I'm coming to the coolest men I know about. I just need a cool sentence, preferably with lots of sounds. That's from trying to be a cool cat in Kentucky.
14:28 Travis McElroy? Isn't that, what's the one, what's the ones that a quick, the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog?
14:33 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, but that doesn't sound cool.
14:35 Travis McElroy? That's typewriter.
14:36 Travis McElroy? Oh yeah, cuz that has every letter in it. Yeah.
14:38 Travis McElroy? That doesn't help.
14:39 Travis McElroy? What's one with a lot of sounds?
14:40 Travis McElroy? Well, you know what, Trav? Let me tell you. Let me see if I can find one real quick. Hold on.
14:47 Travis McElroy? A lot of vowels would have to be in there, right? Like, oh man, the beans fell on my foot. Ow. Okay.
14:56 Griffin McElroy? Hey, man, the be- hey, man, the beans fell on my foot.
15:03 Travis McElroy? Are those your beans or our beans? Does it have to be just one sentence? Could it be a complex short story about beans and the ownership of them?
15:13 Griffin McElroy? Um, maybe. Are you doing, are you good juice?
15:17 Travis McElroy? He's Googling some phonemes.
15:18 Travis McElroy? I told you guys those I was, what I was doing. So I thought we would wait for, I was trying to look up a sentence that has all of the phonemes in it. What?
15:27 Griffin McElroy? And leave dead air?
15:29 Travis McElroy? I said that I was doing it and you guys continued to.
15:31 Griffin McElroy? It's just usually when we set up a bit as a question, we joke about the answer instead of saying.
15:36 Travis McElroy? We don't do intense research.
15:39 Griffin McElroy? Let me get on Encarta and even, no, no, no.
15:41 Travis McElroy? They talked about how they were. They said the sentences were not cool. So I was curious what the sentences were and what we had to, to do better then.
15:51 Travis McElroy? Well, then maybe we're coming at this from the wrong direction. Maybe we should start with.
15:54 Travis McElroy? It feels that way.
15:55 Travis McElroy? We should start with a cool sentence and then add sounds to it.
15:58 Griffin McElroy? Add sounds to it. Make it.
16:00 Travis McElroy? Okay.
16:01 Griffin McElroy? But funny, in a funny way. Don't forget what Dr. Chomps.
16:04 Travis McElroy? Car time, dude, that's ah.
16:08 Travis McElroy? I I I I
16:11 Travis McElroy? We can throw in it's car time, it's car time.
16:13 Travis McElroy? Eh, car eh.
16:15 Griffin McElroy? It's car time, baby dude.
16:18 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
16:18 Griffin McElroy? Baby dude.
16:19 Travis McElroy? Little man.
16:20 Griffin McElroy? Baby dude.
16:21 Travis McElroy? It are I'm little man, little man and.
16:26 Travis McElroy? Baby man.
16:27 Travis McElroy? Car time, man. That's it, I think. No, I think we're getting hung up on vowel sounds. Yeah. Those are some of them though. I mean, some I know.
16:38 Griffin McElroy? We're getting into some pretty, we're getting into some pretty experimental audio right now.
16:42 Travis McElroy? Man, if we only had a reference point, you know what I mean? If only we had a reference point for what we had to.
16:47 Travis McElroy? Baby man, boot that shit up.
16:50 Griffin McElroy? Boot that baby.
16:53 Travis McElroy? Boot that nasty, boot that nasty trunk.
16:58 Griffin McElroy? Uh, trunk, um.
17:00 Travis McElroy? Uh, dundo, dundo, dundo.
17:02 Griffin McElroy? Between this and our naming it two naming of the year episodes, this has been our most sort of gruntable season of my brother, my brother and me so far.
17:12 Travis McElroy? I think maybe just the opening line from Tool Time might where I'm like, it's Tool Time with Tim and Al.
17:19 Travis McElroy? It's Tool Time.
17:20 Griffin McElroy? It's Tool Time. You know, it'd be great is you could learn every part of an a cappella song, maybe by like the Brown Derbies or something like that. You could do Joel's, you could do Joel's fucking Down Easter Alexa if, if you so choose. And you learn every part and you start with whichever one feels more comfortable. And then you'll hit these thresholds where it's like, okay, here I go. Down, uh, down, up, nope. It's time to move down a level and then all of a sudden.
17:47 Travis McElroy? Just gradually harmonize with yourself over time.
17:49 Travis McElroy? Yeah, then you can layer them together later.
17:51 Griffin McElroy? You alto that, yes. And then when you come in, I mean, I don't know how deep, how deep it can possibly go, but I've heard some pretty deep voices in my time. You could get that good baby back ribs.
18:01 Travis McElroy? Oh, Griffin.
18:02 Travis McElroy? Baby back ribs is good.
18:03 Travis McElroy? Oh, well, well, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back. Cause that gets like lower and I feel like you could kind of test the bounds a little bit. Like you start here.
18:10 Griffin McElroy? Definitely.
18:11 Travis McElroy? The Chili's baby back ribs. And then you go like. Burger King's old. Like bring it down. Take it how low you can go.
18:18 Griffin McElroy? But I said, learn every part of an a cappella song. The first one in my mind was not the Chili's baby back ribs.
18:24 Travis McElroy? That's the only one.
18:26 Griffin McElroy? The one everyone knows.
18:27 Travis McElroy? Ones are just, uh, just kind of iterations on that theme.
18:31 Travis McElroy? Go goodbye my Coney Island baby. That's one. That is that one and baby big babes.
18:37 Travis McElroy? I'm trying to think of like really cool, like hard ass lines from movies.
18:43 Griffin McElroy? An acapella song? Unfortunately, I've.
18:45 Travis McElroy? Well, that's Pitch Perfect. Something from Pitch Perfect.
18:48 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
18:48 Travis McElroy? The only acapella movie I can think of.
18:51 Travis McElroy? What's a, what's like Trav? What do you think is like a cool movie? Like, what's a cool movie?
18:56 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I can just see it. It doesn't have to be singing.
18:58 Travis McElroy? Dog chasing cars is a good one. Do you want to see a magic trick?
19:02 Travis McElroy? But it's not like notably like low voiced, right? Like I think you, it's like, maybe like a thing that's just pride fucking with you. Maybe you get some.
19:12 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
19:12 Travis McElroy? Like something like that, some thing rains or, um.
19:16 Travis McElroy? Uh, Claire, uh, Clancy Brown.
19:18 Travis McElroy? Who's like a notably low voiced.
19:20 Travis McElroy? Brown has a deep.
19:21 Travis McElroy? Oh, Clancy Brown. What's some of your favorite, um, uh, cortex lines from the Crash Bandicoot games?
19:28 Travis McElroy? Oh, that's a good, that's a good question. How, how do you choose?
19:33 Griffin McElroy? Definitely the one I have tattooed across my chest. Crash Bandicoot. Set that wampa fruit down. I'm so disappointed in you.
19:41 Travis McElroy? That's the.
19:42 Travis McElroy? That's a good one. There's a lot of sounds in there.
19:45 Griffin McElroy? Have you seen that? That's, that might be it. Crash Bandicoot. Set that wampa fruit. Isn't one of them down.
19:58 Travis McElroy? I'm very disappointed in you.
20:00 Griffin McElroy? I'm very disappointed in you. Maybe it's a threat and you want to see, it's not just the timber. It's not just the pitch of the voice that is changing. The amount of sort of, sort of intense energy you're able to bring to it.
20:15 Travis McElroy? Oh, the, oh, that's a good one from Tombstone. Johnny Ringo. You look like somebody walked over your grave.
20:22 Travis McElroy? Ah, that's. Tombstone is always the greatest repository for like, I mean.
20:28 Travis McElroy? Smoke that, what is it? Uh, skin that smoke wagon is another good one.
20:32 Travis McElroy? Skin that smoke wagon. Yeah.
20:33 Griffin McElroy? Whoa.
20:35 Travis McElroy? So it's maybe the most befuddling way to tell someone to draw their gun that you could ever do. Like I think if you did not smoke wagon.
20:43 Griffin McElroy? I didn't put that together until you said that. If I was in a Wild West duel with the, with the guy, with Val Kilmer, and he said that, I would be like, what? I would look around for the smoke wagon. What do you mean, dude?
20:55 Travis McElroy? What do you mean?
20:57 Travis McElroy? I got it. Oh, yeah. Oh, bow, bow, bow.
21:03 Griffin McElroy? That's so good.
21:06 Travis McElroy? It's the funnest thing to do with your mouth, basically. And you could do it at the beginning and end of every episode. And if you ran out of things to say in the middle, you could just like bust it out and everybody'd be pretty excited to get to hear it, I think.
21:16 Travis McElroy? I like that. That's a good one.
21:17 Travis McElroy? Ferris Bueller Day Off, always, always.
21:19 Travis McElroy? Oh, is that what that is?
21:20 Travis McElroy? It was Travis, actually, yeah.
21:21 Travis McElroy? Okay.
21:22 Griffin McElroy? You could get the guy from that song as a guest on your first episode.
21:26 Travis McElroy? Crash Test Dummies?
21:28 Griffin McElroy? Was it Crash Test Dummies who did the?
21:31 Travis McElroy? No, I thought you were just talking, he's like a really low voice guy. I just thought you were talking about Crash Test Dummies out of nowhere. That was like really random.
21:43 Griffin McElroy? Am I, am I losing my mind or have we done a contest on this very show to see which of the three of us can get the lowest on Baby Back?
21:50 Travis McElroy? For if this episode's 752, we've done everything before.
21:53 Griffin McElroy? I've done all of those.
21:54 Travis McElroy? It's not about finding new things. It's about how do we revisit the questions we've already answered for ourselves?
22:00 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. It's beautiful, meditative and a kind of lazy.
22:05 Travis McElroy? Questions can change, the questions are the same, it's the answers that get different.
22:09 Travis McElroy? Are you saying we could just reuse the question?
22:11 Griffin McElroy? It seems like you'd want it to be the other way around.
22:13 Travis McElroy? It would make more grammatically and like from an oratorical perspective, it would be more satisfying to, to put it that way. But no, I don't think it works that way. I recently started a new job and within my first two weeks, several people there had birthdays. They're apparently a big birthday office and always bring in donuts to celebrate. I personally love donuts, but never ate any that were brought in because I felt anxious of the new job and nothing makes me more uncomfortable than eating in front of strangers. Fortunately, about a week later, my birthday came around. I showed to work expecting to be greeted with donuts, but found they had got me a coffee instead. My new coworkers proudly told me they had noticed I don't like donuts. Sorry, I missed a line here. Notice I didn't like donuts and very thoughtfully got me a coffee instead.
22:56 Travis McElroy? I was so, it was so kind of them and they were so excited to have gotten me something that I liked, that I didn't want to correct them and I just played along. Now I'm getting more comfortable around them and they brought in more donuts today. I want to eat one, but I didn't know how to break it to them that I actually do like donuts. Brothers, how can I start eating donuts at work without seeming like I lied about being a donut hater? That's from Donut Lover's Dilemma. And man, this one doesn't feel like any fault of your own. A lot of times people come to us and we, we can tell them they've already messed up. I don't, this, this wasn't a mess up. Like this seems like an actual, people found like an actual new problem. This is not one that I've heard about before.
23:40 Griffin McElroy? This is original.
23:41 Travis McElroy? This is original. Good job.
23:43 Travis McElroy? I think that there's a way to use this to actually be a benefit, beneficial in this situation. You're going, you're going to tell them the next time there's donuts, you're going to say, can I be honest, guys? I guess it's just that I've never tried donuts before.
23:58 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
23:59 Travis McElroy? I've been too scared.
24:00 Griffin McElroy? Okay. I haven't, I haven't had the right group of people to help me get through that journey. But if you guys want to do a little team building right now.
24:10 Travis McElroy? I just don't know where to start with donuts. And, and then they're going to be so excited to share donuts with you. You're probably going to get more donuts than if you had just started eating donuts to begin with. Cause then you can have one donut and be like, I've been missing out my whole life. I could have been having this.
24:29 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
24:29 Travis McElroy? And then they're going to be so excited to share donuts with you.
24:32 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. And you'll get to eat like a hundred donuts. You'll be living good. Can you, can you walk into the kitchen where the donuts are and pick one up and be like, oh, sweet hole buns? And then people are like, what? And you say, these are hole buns, the buns with holes in them.
24:48 Travis McElroy? One of my favorite foods.
24:49 Griffin McElroy? Bun holes, one of my favorite foods. And they're like, uh, that's donuts. And you say, this is donuts? I like this.
24:58 Griffin McElroy? I like the, I thought these were whole buns. You're saying these are donuts? I like those a lot, actually.
25:06 Travis McElroy? Uh, maybe you could go to someone the next time there's donuts and say, I was just curious who I paid the money to, to join your donut club. Then I'm assuming there's some sort of donut. I know, well, I was never invited, but I really, really like to get into donut club. So if I could sign up somewhere or something like that to, to get in on a donut.
25:24 Travis McElroy? Or like, or like, so how much is it to eat a donut? I haven't had any cash with me.
25:29 Travis McElroy? Try to buy one?
25:30 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
25:32 Travis McElroy? I finally remembered to bring money on donut day. I have $3. Is it?
25:35 Travis McElroy? Is that enough for a donut?
25:37 Travis McElroy? Is that enough for a donut?
25:38 Griffin McElroy? Do you take Apple Pay?
25:39 Travis McElroy? They'll probably make you the boss.
25:40 Griffin McElroy? You do, you do Apple Pay for donut?
25:43 Travis McElroy? I can Ven, I can Venmo. I set it up a day.
25:46 Travis McElroy? I have $2. Can you cut one in half?
25:51 Griffin McElroy? What do you go for? What do you go for to give the appearance of your first donut? Cause the easy sell is you walk in and be like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna try eating a donut. And then you walk over. Do you go with one that has like?
26:04 Griffin McElroy? Fucking.
26:04 Travis McElroy? What if you, what if you like, maybe you try an eclair? And you're like, you know what? I liked this so much. Maybe I've been wrong about donuts this whole time. Like, I'm gonna give donuts another shot. Cause I like, I tried the eclair that you guys brought in and I actually like this. And if donuts are anything like eclairs, I think I could, could really get into it.
26:26 Travis McElroy? Here's the problem though, Jay man. I think if you take a bite, you've never had donuts before in this cafe, right? And you take a bite of an eclair and you don't act at least a little shocked that there's something inside of it. That you're like, they didn't fully cook this one. It's raw in the middle. Look at it gooping out. You gotta, I think you'd have to play it up big to be surprised that there's stuff inside it.
26:48 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
26:49 Travis McElroy? For them to buy the story.
26:51 Griffin McElroy? Pick up a powdered sugar donut and by the end of it, be a mess. Be an absolute mess.
26:57 Travis McElroy? Start coughing a lot.
26:58 Griffin McElroy? And they'll be like, that has to be the first time that they have eaten a powdered donut. Cause there's some tech to it that you do need to, to practice.
27:07 Travis McElroy? Pick up a powdered donut and ask them for a wet nap to clean it off so you could eat it. This one's all dusty. This one's all dusty. I think it's really old. Can we clean this donut off so I could try this one?
27:19 Griffin McElroy? This donut's covered in small colorful pills and I don't know why I'd eat that. It seems like it would make me pretty sick. They're sprinkles.
27:29 Travis McElroy? Okay.
27:30 Travis McElroy? Hmm.
27:31 Travis McElroy? I'm fired? Okay, yeah, I get it.
27:32 Griffin McElroy? I am fired.
27:33 Travis McElroy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:34 Travis McElroy? This is a donut factory? Okay, cool, thank you.
27:38 Griffin McElroy? Uh, before we go to the money zone, can we talk about some recent communicate we received from our father Clint McElroy? Uh, yeah.
27:46 Travis McElroy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:47 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
27:48 Griffin McElroy? Dad, my daddy's a gamer.
27:50 Travis McElroy? Oh, yeah.
27:51 Griffin McElroy? He may, maybe only just Elden Ring for the past three years or however long that game's been out, but he's a real gamer. He has all the video game consoles and Sunday night he texts the three of us and says, "Why does, do any of you know why this keeps happening to my Xbox?"
28:12 Travis McElroy? Can I pause real quick, Griffin, before you keep going? You have to know context wise, we get texts like this about things, uh, related to computers and his tech setup constantly. This was intentional and sincere.
28:27 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, this wasn't, you know, this is, our dad is, is not pulling, uh, punks on us. This is a real thing that happened. Are you pulling it out?
28:36 Travis McElroy? I think that if I have, hold on, I'm gonna see if I can, for posterity's sake.
28:43 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, so exact wording here, "This keeps happening to my Xbox, any ideas?" And then the, the image that he did also send to us is the welcome splash screen for the PlayStation 5. It says at the top of the screen, "Welcome back to PlayStation 5." Um, it does say that on the screen.
29:04 Travis McElroy? And then dad sends that image and it says, "This keeps happening to my Xbox, any ideas?"
29:11 Travis McElroy? And even, there's nothing clearly indicated outside the fact that it's, uh, PlayStation on Xbox, that he could be talking about what's wrong.
29:20 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
29:21 Travis McElroy? The issue is not immediately inherent.
29:23 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. What advice did he think we could give about your Xbox showing PlayStation shit?
29:31 Travis McElroy? Uh, well, how close, how close is your Xbox to your PlayStation, man? It might be bleeding over.
29:37 Griffin McElroy? Plug your phone.
29:37 Travis McElroy? So cross contamination might be happening here.
29:39 Griffin McElroy? Plug your phone into the Xbox. We will integrate with the systems and we're gonna patch through and update. That should get you taken care of.
29:49 Travis McElroy? We're gonna need to get your little reboot guy in there and he's gonna take care of this right now.
29:55 Griffin McElroy? Be a great prank to play on one of your Sony crony friends.
29:58 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
29:58 Griffin McElroy? Or one of these fucking.
29:58 Travis McElroy? Like you boot it up and it's like, oh my God. And then you rush to cover the screen like, oh no, no, but look.
30:03 Griffin McElroy? I would never. But all your Sony crony buddies are there. They're kicking your ass. It's too late. They're already beating your ass into the ground.
30:12 Travis McElroy? I should have followed up on this to see if that ever figured out what the problem was. We just kind of razzed on him and didn't ask what he meant. So I should have followed up.
30:19 Travis McElroy? What if, what if it turns out that this was his Xbox and that's why he's so, he's reasonably perplexed by this question? And we were like, oh, you stupid dumb shit. And he's like, okay, then I don't know.
30:31 Travis McElroy? This is the same guy that restarted Elden Ring like four times because it would just mysteriously like get deleted or something like.
30:39 Griffin McElroy? I, I, I.
30:40 Travis McElroy? It's untenable.
30:41 Griffin McElroy? I understand struggling with tech stuff as you get older. It's already happening to me. There's some tech stuff that I'm like, I don't, I, I don't get it. But it is 2025. I feel like everyone should have gotten the net about the input function of the TV remote control. We have so many buttons on there that give you instantaneous access to TV channels, TV channels, TV chan- no one uses fucking any of those anymore. They use one button that makes it switch between all their other shit that they, so input button, that's gotta be on the, the freshman level curriculum, I feel like.
31:19 Travis McElroy? I absolutely agree, Griffin. Hard to.
31:22 Griffin McElroy? The only button. Only button.
31:24 Travis McElroy? Hey, uh, let's, uh, let's take a brief break and then when we come back, we will do more of this. How's that sound?
31:31 Travis McElroy? More of the same.
31:32 Travis McElroy? But, but different.
31:33 Travis McElroy? Oh.
31:35 Griffin McElroy? And more.
31:36 Travis McElroy? And more.
31:47 Travis McElroy? You know, everybody, I'm ready to admit, it has been hard for me. And I'm just ready to admit it. I need glasses or some sort of corrective lenses to see.
31:58 Griffin McElroy? Wow, Travis.
31:59 Travis McElroy? I know. Yeah, people see me in glasses and they think, what a cool, stylish, fashionable person. But it's not.
32:08 Griffin McElroy? Griffin walked out. Griffin walked out of the recording.
32:10 Travis McElroy? He walked out when I said it. Yeah, when I said I have to wear glasses and he was like, my brother, a nerd? And he walked out. But I've been able to hide it all these years because when people see me wearing glasses, they're like, so stylish. So fabulous. It must be. That he is a stylish and fashionable person and not just someone whose eyes are shaped wrong. And his cones and rods are all messed up, but that's what it is. But thanks to Warby Parker, I can fix my vision and look good doing it. Because Warby Parker designs every frame in-house and their collection includes silhouettes, colors and fits made to suit every face, even my big old noggin.
32:50 Travis McElroy? And you can shop, you can shop them online, at home, in stores, at over 250 retail locations across the US and Canada. Warby Parker glasses start at just $95 and include prescription lenses with anti-reflective, scratch-resistant coatings.
33:04 Griffin McElroy? Are we talking about Warby Parker?
33:06 Travis McElroy? We are.
33:07 Griffin McElroy? I fucking love these guys. Wearing them now.
33:10 Travis McElroy? These glasses look so slick. I almost makes me wish I didn't have perfect vision.
33:16 Travis McElroy? Oh, okay. Okay, it's not perfect, just different vision.
33:20 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Me and Travis didn't choose to have different vision and then record the podcast. Do you know what I mean?
33:28 Travis McElroy? This, so this is a choice? You think I had a wisdom root canal for fun?
33:32 Travis McElroy? And then immediately recorded a podcast every, yes.
33:35 Griffin McElroy? That's the part, that's the part where the choice was made.
33:38 Travis McElroy? The thing is, what the here is that this is when I do my job.
33:41 Travis McElroy? Okay.
33:42 Travis McElroy? This, I'm at work right now.
33:44 Griffin McElroy? Do you want me, get, get started with Warby Parker's virtual try-on. You can try on glasses and sunglasses, seeing the realistic color, texture and size of each style right from home, right now. Or head over to warbyparker.com slash mybrother right now to take the home try-on quiz and pick five pairs of frames to try on at home for free. That's warbyparker.com slash mybrother, warbyparker.com slash mybrother.
34:07 Travis McElroy? Justin, tell me about stamps. I'm old enough. I can handle it.
34:11 Travis McElroy? You're ready for the truth? Well, I'm sorry Travis, but the mailman has not been taking the envelopes where I ask him to because he likes me so much. It's because I've been putting stamps on them. I've been cheating the system. I've been slipping him these little pieces of paper. In exchange, he will take the letter wherever I want to go.
34:30 Travis McElroy? It's a life hack. I see.
34:31 Travis McElroy? Cool. I know, but I found a way to make it even easier. I used to have to go to the post office or Big Bear to buy these things, but now I'm getting them at stamps.com. They handle all my shipping needs for me, Trav. They got USPS, UPS, and big savings, man. Like up to 88% off. How's that grab you?
34:49 Travis McElroy? So I don't have to go to the Post Malone office just to get stamps anymore?
34:55 Travis McElroy? No, no, you don't. You can just get them on the internet. They'll send you a scale. Post Malone office?
35:03 Travis McElroy? Where are you going?
35:05 Travis McElroy? What are you talking about?
35:06 Travis McElroy? Sorry, I say his full name. I don't, I don't know him personally, so just calling him by his first name feels weird. So I like to use his full name.
35:13 Travis McElroy? What do you guys think Post Malone's office looks like? How do you think he's decorated it? I'll tell you, if they're anything like his Oreos, they're fuck, it's a fucking, it's a little fucking.
35:24 Travis McElroy? Well done. Hey, Mr. Malone, well done.
35:27 Travis McElroy? Well done on your Oreos, Posty. We all had them backstage.
35:29 Travis McElroy? I did. I was sick, but.
35:31 Travis McElroy? Travis was sick, but I've had them and they're good. You did a good job.
35:34 Travis McElroy? I was sick too, and the Post Malone Oreos made my health better.
35:38 Travis McElroy? They didn't pay for this. You want to ship Post Malone Oreos, you can. You can ship whatever you want. You can do it for up to 88% off. Sign up at stamps.com and use the code MYBROTHER for a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com. Use the code MYBROTHER.
35:59 Speaker 05 Who's ready for some science?
36:03 Speaker 05 With sources and nuance.
36:07 Speaker 06 And some funny jokes from me.
36:11 Speaker 06 And some funny jokes from me.
36:13 Speaker 05 Let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else too. From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins.
36:19 Speaker 06 From quantum physics to the history of swearing.
36:22 Speaker 05 As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.
36:24 Speaker 06 And some funny jokes from me.
36:26 Speaker 05 Me, Caroline Roper. Dr. Ella Hubber.
36:29 Speaker 06 And Tom Lum.
36:30 Speaker 05 So join us next time where we will learn about Everything.
36:38 Speaker 07 Hey, are you playing a video game right now?
36:41 Speaker 06 Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG. Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time.
36:47 Speaker 07 Been there. I'm Maddie Myers.
36:49 Speaker 06 I'm Jason Schreier. And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast.
36:54 Speaker 07 A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.
36:57 Speaker 06 Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games.
37:02 Speaker 07 On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games.
37:05 Speaker 06 And breaking news out of the video game industry. And we also talk about other stuff besides games. So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click. Listen on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.
37:20 Griffin McElroy? You really put some stank on that one, man.
37:22 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I like that.
37:25 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
37:27 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
37:31 Travis McElroy? I wanna munch.
37:33 Speaker 06 Squad!
37:33 Griffin McElroy? Squad!
37:34 Travis McElroy? Do, do, do, do. I want to munch, squad.
37:41 Travis McElroy? Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast of the podcast. That's how the Beatles sound.
37:44 Griffin McElroy? Oh! Oh, okay. I was about to say, the Munch Squad intro is, I think, a good thing to do to like, test out lower, newer voices. It has a lot of really cool stuff that you can do.
37:57 Travis McElroy? It covers eight octaves. I, this is a different kinda, this is a different kinda one than what we would normally do, because it's normally we're profiling the sort of the movers and shakers in the fast food industry. And today, I just, I learned something a few weeks ago. And it's been going around in my head a lot, ever since I saw this like, this factoid being reported by my friend Fishboy on TikTok.
38:28 Speaker 06 Okay, hit us with it, Big Munch.
38:30 Travis McElroy? Ready?
38:31 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
38:32 Travis McElroy? Rango Stars never had pizza.
38:34 Griffin McElroy? Wait.
38:36 Travis McElroy? According to who?
38:38 Travis McElroy? Ringo Starr, talking to Jimmy Kimmel, said with pizza, you don't know what you're putting in at half the time. He said he's never had a pizza.
38:50 Griffin McElroy? Those two thoughts existing in the same head is, I've never had pizza and also you can't trust what people are putting in pizza these days. Those two thoughts seem insane to be held together in a, in a marriage, in a union.
39:08 Travis McElroy? This is where I feel like I want to be, I, this is, he says about food sensitivities. So I understand that. And I feel like if any podcast has been at the forefront of food sensitivity acceptance, it is my brother, my brother and me. This is an absolute safe place for people with food intolerance.
39:32 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Did you see how he didn't do the tummy buddy time motto? Yeah, that was for that exact reason.
39:39 Travis McElroy? Perfectly safe space, but so he says it's about onions and garlic and other spices that he's allergic to. And my man, just make one without that. It is, it is pizza, baby. Just make one.
39:57 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. It's a circle with sauce and cheese and you don't even honestly need those.
40:04 Travis McElroy? It don't need to be circle. It don't gotta got sauce or cheese. It's the loosest conceptual arrangement of food.
40:12 Travis McElroy? Do you guys ever find yourself like saying some, like an opinion or something without thinking about it? And it's a real bold and brassy thing where you're like, oh, I don't care for mustard. Like I hate mustard, right? And then people are like, oh man, really? Why? And then you think about it after you said it and you're like, I mean, I don't hate mustard. But now you're like locked in and you said it. Is it possible that Ringo Starr was thinking about like, he couldn't remember the last time he had pizza?
40:41 Griffin McElroy? And came out wrong?
40:43 Travis McElroy? Hey, let me help.
40:45 Griffin McElroy? Oh, okay. Good.
40:46 Speaker 08 I'd do it in a second. The fans will dig it. They've waited long enough. I've just got to get the other lads to agree.
40:56 Speaker 08 I think I can convince them.
40:57 Travis McElroy? I'll say. Lads, the time has come.
41:00 Speaker 08 Sweet or pizza, crust first. Did I dare to go? Stop crust pizza from pizza hut with cheese baked in it.
41:07 Travis McElroy? Yeah, hmm.
41:09 Speaker 08 You'll want to eat it crust first, now with free garlic dipping sauce. Wrong lads, large designer.
41:16 Travis McElroy? So, yeah, that's a pretty-
41:17 Griffin McElroy? That's the fucking wildest thing I've ever seen.
41:20 Travis McElroy? But he doesn't take a bite!
41:24 Griffin McElroy? He doesn't take a bite of the pizza.
41:25 Travis McElroy? He doesn't take a bite! That's 100% true, but like, Rango? What are you selling me, dude?
41:31 Griffin McElroy? What are you selling me?
41:32 Travis McElroy? That was-
41:32 Griffin McElroy? You can't, the whole thing of your commercial can't be, gotta get the lads back together, when two of the lads are dead.
41:39 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that's why I can begin with. At this point, I think just one lad would be dead. But you are right that he was quite dead.
41:48 Griffin McElroy? You're still not getting-
41:48 Travis McElroy? He died a month to the day after I was born, so I know he was dead.
41:51 Travis McElroy? All I'm saying is, if you review the footage, he never takes a bite of the pizza.
41:56 Travis McElroy? He didn't eat any of the pizza.
41:58 Travis McElroy? Yeah, Travis, I 100% agree with that, and I'm not trying to be like, gotcha, you did take a bite. And because this is what, what, what, uh, Fishboy said in his TikTok too, which is very true. It, it is him endorsing pizza.
42:11 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, yes, the idea.
42:12 Travis McElroy? As a concept, he is saying like-
42:14 Griffin McElroy? Pizza's got my seal of approval, mine, I love pizza.
42:19 Travis McElroy? And now he's telling Jimmy like, you don't know if pizza's really messed up, I won't eat. Just-
42:24 Griffin McElroy? What a nasty impre- what a nasty impression that was.
42:27 Travis McElroy? Yes, a hateful-
42:27 Griffin McElroy? What a nasty thing to not eat pizza, Griffin.
42:28 Travis McElroy? A spiteful impression, I would say, Justin.
42:30 Griffin McElroy? A spiteful, nasty spirited impression.
42:32 Travis McElroy? Can I say though, it's normally much more open-hearted, but I, the, there's the numbness.
42:38 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
42:39 Travis McElroy? It's, I've lost some of the lip control.
42:40 Travis McElroy? Did he say that he was allergic to things in the pizza? Or just say, you don't know what's in there?
42:46 Travis McElroy? The reporting from People Magazine is-
42:49 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
42:49 Travis McElroy? I'm alert, I've never had a pizza, or a curry. I'm allergic to several items. With pizza, you don't know what you're putting in it half the time, or the curry. So I'm pretty strict with myself, because it makes me ill immediately.
43:03 Griffin McElroy? I fully understand that. I fully, fully get that. But curry is, again, a pretty loose food zone that you could-
43:14 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man. But I could believe that because the thing is a pizza that I try to wrap my mind around. The number of times that I have been places or events or hang out with people. And by no action of my own, there has suddenly been pizza there and I'm eating it without really thinking about it. And here was a young man who must have done so many, as I believe they're called, gigs. At different places in like the sixties touring around doing things.
43:45 Griffin McElroy? Throwing, throwing pizzas at the Beatles.
43:47 Travis McElroy? Ah, this is what I'm saying. There must have been so much incidental pizza in the Beatles' experience.
43:54 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
43:54 Travis McElroy? That you're telling me at every turn, he was consciously avoiding it even from a young age to be like, "I don't know what shit's in there."
44:03 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
44:04 Travis McElroy? And, and listen, he did a lot of drugs with all the other guys, right? The guys did a lot of drugs. And we're really certain that at no point.
44:15 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
44:15 Travis McElroy? Anybody was like, "Guys, it's 3 a.m. right? I just got this new thing from the States. They're calling it pizza."
44:24 Griffin McElroy? Wait, Mick Jagger's there?
44:26 Travis McElroy? Yeah, me and Keith love it. You boys gotta try it too.
44:30 Griffin McElroy? Holy shit. Hello, it's me, David Bowie. Have you heard of the American invention of pizza? It's quite-
44:38 Travis McElroy? And I'm Andy Warhol.
44:42 Travis McElroy? Aflac. I love this shit. You gotta eat it.
44:47 Griffin McElroy? Well, it's quite luxurious, isn't it?
44:50 Travis McElroy? And listen, I know we got, we got people from all over the, the spectrum of neurodivergence who listen to and create these programs. And I want to say, I know there's other reasons that people avoid food. He didn't fucking say that. He said he's allergic. So I'm saying, make pizza without the things that you're allergic to, Ringo. Please, for the love of God. At this point, the man's in his eighties. It's just to keep the streak alive. And I'm saying, get one in there, R- Ringo.
45:18 Griffin McElroy? If he puts up down a piece of bread and puts down some sort of- Alumina free red sauce on there and like a slice of of cheddar. And then he puts that in the toaster oven for a minute and a half on blast. And then takes that and eats it. Can we say Ringo, you've you've done it? You've done it. Now you've had pizza. You've done it.
45:43 Travis McElroy? Yes.
45:43 Griffin McElroy? That's all it is.
45:44 Travis McElroy? But okay, can I can I make my stance clear here, boys? Yeah, please. If he had said in this interview, I the first time I tried pizza, I had a severe allergic reaction to it and I've never eaten it again. I would say 100%.
46:00 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
46:00 Travis McElroy? I believe that that's true.
46:02 Griffin McElroy? Fool me once pizza, shame on
46:04 Travis McElroy? Right.
46:05 Griffin McElroy? You, but
46:06 Travis McElroy? But the idea that without ever trying pizza, he's just always, always had the awareness of like, I will never
46:16 Griffin McElroy? Not for, I will not ever eat pizza, ever.
46:21 Travis McElroy? That's
46:21 Travis McElroy? And it's also, I think, an interesting, if we can send jokes out of the room for a second. I think it's also an interesting example of the role that privilege can play in our lives. Right? Because if I had tried to live a pizzaless existence, I wouldn't have made it through the past week without it causing severe strife in my friends and family. How? It would have been a major issue, like almost immediately.
46:46 Griffin McElroy? How how challenging would life be? If you were like Ringo Starr and and for Ringo Starr, every pizza is a tombstone pizza.
47:02 Travis McElroy? I'm not gonna, let's read another question because like legitimately, we're not gonna say anything funny.
47:07 Travis McElroy? No.
47:08 Travis McElroy? Than that.
47:09 Travis McElroy? We might have never said anything funny of him.
47:11 Travis McElroy? The my D and D group wants to start hanging out outside of campaign sessions, which is great. Problem is they want to do an escape room. All of them are reportedly very good at the activity. Our DM even used to work in an escape room. Brothers, I am terrible at escape rooms. So I guess the thing I'm asking for is escape room hacks to impress my friends. Failing that, how do I keep my cool and have a good time? That's from No Sherlock in New Hampshire.
47:37 Griffin McElroy? Oh, boy.
47:38 Travis McElroy? You know what's unappreciated in escape room group dynamics?
47:41 Griffin McElroy? What's that Travis?
47:42 Travis McElroy? The hype person.
47:44 Griffin McElroy? Hmm.
47:45 Travis McElroy? The person who's-
47:46 Griffin McElroy? There's a lot of it, yes.
47:47 Travis McElroy? A lot of morale management that does- Well, cause everyone you do in an escape room, everybody wants to be the hero. Everybody wants to put the pieces together. Everybody wants to do the final twist of the thing. Having somebody who's like, "You're solving the shit out of that puzzle, Derek," would be amazing.
48:03 Griffin McElroy? I could never do what you'd- no, I wouldn't like that. I need someone to get in there when I get too cranky because I'm stumped, but I don't want to hint.
48:10 Travis McElroy? Oh, somebody who brought Gorp to keep your blood sugar levels up, maybe?
48:14 Griffin McElroy? Snacks would be good, yeah. I'll never say no to that.
48:17 Travis McElroy? I have a, I have a kind of a patented escape room system, right? And I, and I would, I would highly recommend it. I am, I do not break the bank intellectually speaking. And I, I'm in circles of people that run circles around me.
48:31 Griffin McElroy? Wait, sorry.
48:31 Travis McElroy? What? Of, hey.
48:33 Travis McElroy? No, no, no, what you're talking about? We all have our strengths, right? I can bake and do what's, like, whatever, you know, like-
48:38 Travis McElroy? And like, I'm physically strong and incredibly intelligent.
48:41 Travis McElroy? And charismatic and a go-getter, don't forget.
48:45 Travis McElroy? And I- And good at escape rooms. And I'm-
48:50 Travis McElroy? You're dependable.
48:52 Travis McElroy? Oh, that's a huge, that's a huge skill. Uh, but anyway, the, at the escape rooms, I'm not a smart person, so I kind of hang back, right? And I'm watching-
49:01 Travis McElroy? Not a very nice person either.
49:03 Travis McElroy? I was kidding about that, Griffin. You're like super smart. Like, you guys both do a good job. I hang back. I'm like kind of a sniper and I look like I'm like thinking about all of it.
49:13 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
49:13 Travis McElroy? And then I wait for my moment when something maybe occurs to me and I don't say anything, right?
49:19 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
49:20 Travis McElroy? And then eventually I'll do like one thing and it'll seem like-
49:24 Travis McElroy? Hmm.
49:25 Travis McElroy? You know what I mean? Like, I've just been waiting for it, but the thing is, I'm actually not computing anything that is happening. I'm just kind of like looking at where the action is. And just kind of like being happy that people can figure it out because it's I can't keep up with.
49:39 Travis McElroy? That's very good. You could also, if you end up finding a black light, a little black light flashlight, being the black light person.
49:46 Travis McElroy? Oh, that's a good one. Or write down person.
49:47 Travis McElroy? Or write down person, solid. Hold the flashlight person. Um, be the person who goes, did we ever figure out what's going on with this key? Right? Just like keep reminding everybody all the things you haven't figured out yet.
50:00 Travis McElroy? I will tell you guys honestly, but I spent a lot of time in escape rooms doing it. I'm a big organize the props that were already used. And I like to put them into like used and not used piles, you know, I like to sort the piles. I could do that. I like to sort in piles, you know, I can remember which things we've used and not used.
50:18 Griffin McElroy? A lot of, um, a lot of places won't tell you this and, but they don't like screen for it or anything. But you can bring some props with you that if it turns out is part of the thing, like bring a powerful magnet. Bring a black light. Bring, bring some bolt cutters. Bring an airsoft gun. Bring a compass. Bring.
50:40 Travis McElroy? A big drill.
50:41 Travis McElroy? A drill, like a knife to get out of a place.
50:44 Travis McElroy? Yeah, your own door.
50:46 Griffin McElroy? Bring some C4 charges to blow the door. Bring five cans of different sizes. And a container of water.
50:54 Travis McElroy? One thing that I, I might try is you stand near the door. There's usually a light switch there, right? And a lot of times in these escape rooms, the lights go off and a secret is revealed. So what I would do is wait till halfway through the escape room when no one is thinking about it. Be like, hey, guys, what about this? And then you flip the lights off, right? If there's a secret revealed.
51:14 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
51:15 Travis McElroy? Brilliant. Turn the lights back on. Everybody's like, oh my God, how'd you do it? If there's no secret, you just open the door and leave.
51:21 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
51:22 Travis McElroy? You're gone, right? The lights are off and you disappear because you can't.
51:26 Travis McElroy? Now there's a new mystery.
51:27 Travis McElroy? Yeah, you're embarrassed. You don't want to stay there. So you leave.
51:30 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, you could also try to convince them that they've actually been in an escape room for a really long time, longer than they think they have been since they walked in. So you could say like, you know, you're all trying to stop the bomb from Dr. Blood Knife. And you can be like, everyone's stumped and you'd be like, guys, I think that we've been in Dr. Blood Knife's hideout since we entered this building. And the person working outside who told us not to smash all the furniture and smash all the lights and absolutely tear all the wires out of the wall was one of Dr. Blood Knife's minion, or perhaps Dr. Blood Knife himself. So we need to start demolishing this place because that was a feint, that was a, that
52:13 Griffin McElroy? was a lie, and it's time for us to get serious about it.
52:16 Travis McElroy? I think the most heartbreaking part of Dr. Blood Knife's backstory is how his intention was to like, do good and like work with like Doctors Without Borders and stuff. But then anytime anything evil would happen, they'd be like, well, it must be Blood Knife. His name's Blood Knife. And he's like, that's just my name. That's just a family name.
52:34 Griffin McElroy? That's what made him so nasty and made him set up the bomb.
52:37 Travis McElroy? Yeah, eventually he had to be evil because of that.
52:40 Griffin McElroy? And you're in an experiment, you are in an experiment of one of Dr. Blood Knife's experiments.
52:46 Travis McElroy? And the way to escape is kindness, to have some faith in humanity and believe that Dr. Blood Knife isn't responsible for it. And that's the real escape is through Jesus Christ.
52:57 Griffin McElroy? Wow, did not expect that term.
53:00 Travis McElroy? Get him safe, slip the cashier a twatski and be like, can I get some Nintendo Power Helpline on Escape from Dr. Blood Knife?
53:10 Travis McElroy? The person who breaks the hint kind of barrier, because everybody wants to ask for all the hints all the time, but they don't want to be the person who says, should we get a hint? And being the person who is both strong enough, but willing to appear weak enough to say like, I think we should get a hint.
53:26 Travis McElroy? Travis, that's so funny you say that. I have never heard someone ask for a hint where the tone is anything other than like, I'm kind of getting a vibe in the room. Like, we're starting to kind of maybe want to get a hint. Like, no one's ever like, I don't know. I was not, I don't know.
53:44 Travis McElroy? I'm way behind. I'm lost.
53:47 Travis McElroy? I got nothing figured out.
53:49 Travis McElroy? I'm getting tired and cranky.
53:51 Griffin McElroy? You could establish yourself as like the hint controller and you stand in front of the hint button and you say, if you want a hint, you're going to have to fight me for it. And then people are really going to feel like-
54:04 Travis McElroy? The bully, the bully of the-
54:05 Griffin McElroy? The bully of the group. And then that way, people are gonna feel like-
54:08 Travis McElroy? We're so close.
54:08 Griffin McElroy? We really need to grind on this. We can't, I don't want to have to fight our friend in order to get the hint.
54:14 Travis McElroy? But what they don't know is you, you're just leaning back against the button every 10 seconds and then you're whispering out whatever you hear.
54:20 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
54:21 Travis McElroy? Right? And you're like, I think it's this guy's. And they're like, whoa, Derek knows everything about this thing.
54:26 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
54:27 Travis McElroy? But you, you got an inside man.
54:29 Travis McElroy? Hey, thank you so much-
54:30 Travis McElroy? You're welcome.
54:31 Travis McElroy? -for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself. And thank you to Justin McRoy today for-
54:36 Griffin McElroy? He's a hero.
54:37 Travis McElroy? -doing his job, even though he didn't feel like it and he didn't want to do it. His brothers insisted and he did it anyway, because that's how, that's what a professional does. That's what a pro does. You're welcome, Doc.
54:49 Griffin McElroy? Proud of you.
54:50 Travis McElroy? Thank you again to everybody who came out to Tampa and Jacksonville. We've got more tour dates announced for the 20 Thunder Drive Tour. We're coming to Virginia, North Carolina, Michigan, Minnesota, and Ohio.
55:04 Griffin McElroy? That's real, that's real America.
55:06 Travis McElroy? Yeah. And well, Ohio's where I live, so I just, I have a lot of reference for it, which is nice. All the Adventure Zone shows are going to be different versions of Taz versus. We just did one down in Tampa and it was an absolute blast. I mean, I was sick, but I still did a great job because I'm a hero too.
55:22 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
55:23 Travis McElroy? That's right.
55:24 Griffin McElroy? A lot of bravery.
55:25 Travis McElroy? Tickets are on sale now for those shows. More info and ticket links are available at bit.ly/mcroytours. Go get those tickets now. And go ahead, we've only got like, I think two or three packages left for Champions Grove. If you haven't gotten those yet, go to championsgrove.com and get those now.
55:42 Griffin McElroy? Got some new merch. We got a Visekticon hoodie designed by Evan Palmer that I absolutely adore. A hot dog, hot dog man drains you dry if you know you know pin from the most recent run of Monster Factory. A bunch of stuff over at McRoy Merch.
55:58 Travis McElroy? You'll like it.
55:59 Griffin McElroy? 10% of all merge proceeds this month will be donated to Harmony House, which helps to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs.
56:08 Travis McElroy? I also want to say something I'm incredibly excited about. We're partnering with Kinship Goods.
56:15 Griffin McElroy? Hell, yeah.
56:16 Travis McElroy? To release a shirt designed by Pepper Raccoon. It's at Pepper Raccoon on Instagram.
56:23 Travis McElroy? They are a West Virginia based company who I love very much and we have many of their, many of their things, clothes and stickers and stuff like that. And I had the idea for a shirt celebrating the birth of Huntington, because Huntington, West Virginia was born when Carlos P. Huntington was given a traffic ticket or a parking ticket for parking his horse in Holderby's Landing. And they said, you gotta pay the traffic ticket. And he said, I'm about to like build a whole thing here. And they said, you still have to pay the ticket, man. And he said, fuck you, I'm building my own town. So the shirt is, it says, Born of Spite.
56:58 Griffin McElroy? It's so sick.
57:00 Travis McElroy? It's a sick ass shirt.
57:01 Griffin McElroy? Such a sick shirt.
57:02 Travis McElroy? You can go to kinshipgoods.com/mcroy and go check it out and get it now. Thank you to Kinship Goods for partnering with us and all the amazing stuff that they make that I wear all the time.
57:14 Griffin McElroy? Thanks to Montane also for the Easter theme song, My Life Is Better With You. It's a slammer. It's a fucking ripper.
57:23 Travis McElroy? And don't forget, if you have a Faster Than Fear you would like us to read at the end of the episode, email that in with Faster Than Fear in the subject line. Justin.
57:30 Travis McElroy? Do we have one right now?
57:31 Travis McElroy? We do. Will you read it, please?
57:33 Travis McElroy? Yeah, Travis, I'd be happy to, man. This year, I'm gonna stop being afraid of a train chasing me through the woods, like in Wrongfully Accused, a fear that has haunted me for 25 years.
57:45 Griffin McElroy? Amazing.
57:48 Griffin McElroy? So many wonderful things in this world.
57:49 Travis McElroy? My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.
57:51 Griffin McElroy? I'm Griffin McElroy.
57:52 Travis McElroy? It's my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad's square on the lips.
58:02 Speaker 01 Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.
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