MBMBaM 787: Man Vs Kramer Vs Wild Vs Predator

SHOW US YOUR DRAWERS! Do you keep your knives and your butter knives together, throwing caution to the wind? Maybe there's bees in there, in the guise of a baby? Or some seasonal coffee that's only 23 years out of date? Suggested talking points: So Tired of Verse-ing, 30 Burger King Commercials Looped, Fork Fencing, Ass Up, Blade Down, Peter Remnolds' Predatory Practices, I'm Trying to Smell What the Rock is Cooking Native American Aid: https://nativepartnership.org/naa/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 1:10Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother My Brother, me and advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

• 1:15Griffin McElroy?

  What's up, Trav Nation? I'm your middlest brother Travis Big Dog Vroom Vroom McElroy. Hey, what's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your sweet baby brother, 30 under 30, media luminary Griffin McElroy. Jing, jing, jing, you just hear those sleigh bells ringing. No, it's not even Halloween yet. We're on the creep. It is when this comes out. Fucking Candle Knights Creep, baby. We're on it. Comes out, Trav, think about it.

• 1:34Travis McElroy?

  But my, but our births haven't even happened yet. I almost said my birthday, Justin, apologies. This is a first.

• 1:39Griffin McElroy?

  No worries, brother, no worries. In there, but it's gonna slot into an open space in the Candle Knights Creek, cuz I'm already putting my holiday plans together, boys.

• 1:49Griffin McElroy?

  We didn't. Have you heard? Have you heard? Do you know where, do you know where you're? The angel, what has the angel told you? The angel came down from the big star and he said, what's your ass doing on December 11th? I said, you cuss? He said, fuck, yeah, I cuss. About this. He said, you know Rowan Atkinson? I said, yeah. And the angel that came down from the big star was like, um, he is completing his circuit of the traditional conflict structures in, in classical literature.

• 2:21Travis McElroy?

  Oh, he's going for the canon.

• 2:22Griffin McElroy?

  He's going for the whole thing. He's got man versus man.

• 2:26Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:26Griffin McElroy?

  Love Actually. Man versus nature.

• 2:30Travis McElroy?

  Man versus.

• 2:31Griffin McElroy?

  Johnny English, man versus himself being.

• 2:34Travis McElroy?

  Being.

• 2:35Griffin McElroy?

  Man versus society, Blackadder.

• 2:37Travis McElroy?

  Man versus machine is rat race.

• 2:40Griffin McElroy?

  Rat race.

• 2:40Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, because that's a bunch of different.

• 2:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 2:43Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:43Griffin McElroy?

  Man versus bee, unlikely. Not a lot of people get hit that one, but.

• 2:49Travis McElroy?

  Well, I think just B movie and man versus bee.

• 2:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, those are the only two.

• 2:55Travis McElroy?

  If, if, you know, Euripides or some of your great playwrights had done all the classics, they would have gotten.

• 3:00Griffin McElroy?

  If they had lived longer, life expectancy back then was like you were 15 years old and you beefed. If you made it longer, they would have gotten the man versus bee, but now.

• 3:07Travis McElroy?

  Can I also just say, cause I invoked the name, I watched an explainer video of B movie recently.

• 3:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:13Travis McElroy?

  It makes me mad that we haven't talked about it more.

• 3:16Griffin McElroy?

  What are you talking about?

• 3:16Travis McElroy?

  But.

• 3:17Griffin McElroy?

  What are you talking about?

• 3:18Travis McElroy?

  Let me. Are you immortal? An explainer video about the B movie?

• 3:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 3:22Travis McElroy?

  Mike, Mike's Mike makes some really good video content and he did a whole thing about the B movie.

• 3:27Griffin McElroy?

  Rowan has completed the canon with.

• 3:32Travis McElroy?

  Okay. Yeah. I'll focus up, focus up.

• 3:34Griffin McElroy?

  Let me say it, the name. Man versus baby. Man versus baby, the last one.

• 3:42Travis McElroy?

  Man versus baby.

• 3:43Griffin McElroy?

  December 11th.

• 3:44Travis McElroy?

  Now, just to be clear, Griffin, it's not man versus B A E B E E, right? It's not his girlfriend, the bee.

• 3:51Griffin McElroy?

  I heard, so like, there's fucking nothing about this film out there right now.

• 3:56Travis McElroy?

  Comes out in like five weeks.

• 3:58Griffin McElroy?

  It comes out quite soon. Thank you. Yes. I have heard just from some like, you know, set side scuttlebutt, that at the end of the movie, the baby bursts open and it was actually 200 bees. That was like pranking him.

• 4:11Travis McElroy?

  Like Wicker Man. I haven't seen it.

• 4:13Griffin McElroy?

  Sort of a Wicker Man situation. Um.

• 4:16Travis McElroy?

  Now, the first one was a mini series, wasn't it?

• 4:19Griffin McElroy?

  This one is also a four part, 30 minute episode mini series. Just make it a two hour movie, guys.

• 4:25Travis McElroy?

  Give us a movie.

• 4:26Griffin McElroy?

  The massive.

• 4:27Travis McElroy?

  Something I could put on my shelf.

• 4:29Travis McElroy?

  Please.

• 4:30Griffin McElroy?

  I can't have a cinema premiere.

• 4:32Travis McElroy?

  Where's the Criterion Collection, you know?

• 4:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. I can't rent the Cinemark at the Huntington Mall. If it doesn't get a theatrical release, you know?

• 4:41Travis McElroy?

  Do you think with a Netflix special?

• 4:43Travis McElroy?

  With the release date being in December.

• 4:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:47Travis McElroy?

  Do you think that there was a time where they thought about Man vs. Baby Jesus?

• 4:51Griffin McElroy?

  So, here's the thing. There's nothing out about this movie. You can't find fucking anything. There's two pictures from the set.

• 4:58Travis McElroy?

  They know what they know you want.

• 5:01Griffin McElroy?

  Dirty dogs are gonna fucking do with that information. We'll take it and run with it. They saw it.

• 5:05Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, can I just say, actually, I don't think there is anyone that would make good use of a lot of information about Man vs. Baby. I agree with you there that it is probably a smart play that like, no one who wants a lot of that information about it is going to make good use of that.

• 5:23Griffin McElroy?

  No, for sure. Only ill intent at heart.

• 5:25Travis McElroy?

  Just us.

• 5:26Griffin McElroy?

  Just us, mostly. There's two photos. One, he's walking down the street holding the baby. One, he's sitting on a couch and he's got his arms crossed and he's feeding two babies. So, uh, how many babies is it Man vs. Baby? Cause if it's more than one.

• 5:38Travis McElroy?

  One of the babies is on his side.

• 5:40Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 5:41Travis McElroy?

  Oh, he's teamed up. Whoever wins, we're cute. I love it.

• 5:45Griffin McElroy?

  One man and a baby versus a different, meaner baby this fall, winter, December.

• 5:50Travis McElroy?

  Boss baby.

• 5:51Griffin McElroy?

  Boss baby. He's.

• 5:52Travis McElroy?

  Oh, man, Man vs. Boss Baby?

• 5:55Griffin McElroy?

  We're watching it. There's no trailers out.

• 5:58Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 5:58Griffin McElroy?

  There is a surplus of artificially inseminated trailers that have been created by robots and put on YouTube to trick everyone. This is, this is what buoys my spirits in the wake of this tide of the, of robots taking all of our jobs for real though this time, is that all the comments in all of these AI trailers are like, this is not my Trevor Bingley. This is AI slop. Trevor Bingley would fucking never, never.

• 6:30Travis McElroy?

  Never. He doesn't have that Trevor Bingley's joie de vivre.

• 6:34Griffin McElroy?

  You made his eyes all big and nightmarish. That's not my pleasant Trevor Bingley. Well-intentioned house sitter.

• 6:41Travis McElroy?

  Does he babysit? Probably babysits in this one. I wanna see if we can reverse engineer.

• 6:47Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 6:47Travis McElroy?

  Man versus baby.

• 6:49Griffin McElroy?

  I saw one trailer that I think had some real information that said he was a school teacher this time around. How the fu- I saw Man vs. B. I don't want that.

• 7:00Travis McElroy?

  Anyone who saw that.

• 7:01Travis McElroy?

  That's also not baby related, like babies don't go to school.

• 7:05Griffin McElroy?

  Um, well, he's, it's a school for ba- just calm down.

• 7:08Travis McElroy?

  The school board must have ruled Man vs. B in municipal.

• 7:11Griffin McElroy?

  It's a school for babies.

• 7:13Travis McElroy?

  A daycare.

• 7:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, he works at a daycare and there's a nativity play and no one comes to pick up the baby Jesus, so.

• 7:20Travis McElroy?

  So it is Man vs. Baby Jesus.

• 7:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, and he takes him to house sit at a different house. I'm saying this out loud, this sounds also fake. There's no way. There's no way the series is he's a daycare teacher and he takes home a baby no one picked up while he's house sitting a fancy house.

• 7:37Travis McElroy?

  It's also, it's been six years since I had a baby.

• 7:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:42Travis McElroy?

  Right, in the house. I didn't have the baby.

• 7:44Griffin McElroy?

  Gotcha, okay.

• 7:45Travis McElroy?

  I mean, since I, since I had a baby present in the home.

• 7:48Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 7:49Travis McElroy?

  I don't think parents take the baby to nativity practice and just say, "I'll be back in two hours."

• 7:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:59Travis McElroy?

  "Keep a good eye on this baby."

• 8:01Travis McElroy?

  Why else am I letting them use the baby then if I'm not getting some free babysitting out of it? Why are they, why am I letting them use the?

• 8:06Travis McElroy?

  You can still watch your phone while you sit in the pew.

• 8:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, because the answer to that, Justin, is on your drive back to the house to get in, you know, a good hour and 15 minutes of shitting, gaming and all that stuff. You could die in a car accident on the way back and then Mr. Bean's gonna have your baby in a stranger's house for the holidays. Merry Christmas, it's Man vs.

• 8:27Travis McElroy?

  And you know it's not baby proofed?

• 8:28Griffin McElroy?

  You know that house isn't baby proofed? He certainly isn't. Can't handle a, can't handle a bee? Do you have any idea how much more shit a hu- a human child is gonna rain down on you than a little tiny poops?

• 8:43Travis McElroy?

  Literally.

• 8:45Griffin McElroy?

  I think.

• 8:45Travis McElroy?

  You don't got diapers in the house?

• 8:47Griffin McElroy?

  No way. I think the next one they do should be man versus it's a wonderful life. And Clarence visits him and he's like,

• 8:57Travis McElroy?

  it should be better if I was never born. I keep versing everybody.

• 9:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. I'm so tired from versing everyone all the time.

• 9:05Travis McElroy?

  Once word got out that I was the man to verse, people are calling me out on the street.

• 9:11Travis McElroy?

  And then like Clarence shows up and he takes them to this hellscape that's just covered in bees. It's just a planet of bees.

• 9:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, he's the one I want though.

• 9:21Travis McElroy?

  B movie.

• 9:22Travis McElroy?

  Like a B movie, Trav, I guess. I didn't watch the explainer, so I might have missed some of the context.

• 9:26Travis McElroy?

  Be Sue hu- humanity.

• 9:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Hey, did you guys catch the trailer for Man vs Kramer vs Kramer? It looks like it's gonna be, it looks like versus man versus Kramer versus Predator. It's a fucking really, really good idea for a movie.

• 9:42Travis McElroy?

  Man vs Kramer vs Wild vs Predator.

• 9:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 9:46Travis McElroy?

  Bear Grylls.

• 9:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 9:49Travis McElroy?

  Is on our side.

• 9:50Griffin McElroy?

  Is he?

• 9:50Travis McElroy?

  But he's a baby. He's a baby.

• 9:52Griffin McElroy?

  Baby Bear Grylls.

• 9:53Travis McElroy?

  Baby Bear Grylls.

• 9:54Griffin McElroy?

  Cub Grylls.

• 9:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 9:56Griffin McElroy?

  Cub Grylls is a baby. He's got dropped off at wilderness camp and never picked up. And so Trevor Bingley, Rowan Atkinson, has to take care of him, but the homie's taking care of him. It's a married couple who are going through a hard time. Kramer vs Kramer. Kramer vs Kramer. And then we'll get bees in there too, of course.

• 10:16Travis McElroy?

  And Predator.

• 10:17Griffin McElroy?

  We'll save bees for the last episode, like you'll, at the end of episode three, he finally got the baby to sleep. And he's like, oh, finally time to relax. What's that he hears? Ding dong, checks the nest cam, nothing there.

• 10:30Travis McElroy?

  Santa.

• 10:30Griffin McElroy?

  It's no.

• 10:33Travis McElroy?

  Dang it.

• 10:33Griffin McElroy?

  And he's like, oh, nothing's there.

• 10:35Travis McElroy?

  All right, back to my nap.

• 10:37Griffin McElroy?

  And he puts his phone down and the camera zooms in on the phone where you don't, didn't see anything before. And a single bee climbs over the camera lens and everyone at home is like, oh shit, he's here, the bee. And the bee's back.

• 10:51Travis McElroy?

  And then Predator shows up hunting the bee.

• 10:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, yes. And then Santa, go ahead, Juice, get Santa in there.

• 10:57Travis McElroy?

  And then Santa. I mean, it's like, if you guys put Santa in it, that's, that's the thumbnail. You know what I mean? Like then, then every Christmas.

• 11:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:05Travis McElroy?

  And the fun thing is, if we have Cub Grylls, the baby.

• 11:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:10Travis McElroy?

  Trevor Bingley.

• 11:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:11Travis McElroy?

  Predator, bee, Santa, Kramer.

• 11:14Travis McElroy?

  And Kramer.

• 11:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, we can pick one.

• 11:17Travis McElroy?

  We can match up, mix and match. Who's teaming up versus who in there?

• 11:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:23Travis McElroy?

  Cause I'd love to see Santa and Predator team up against the B.

• 11:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:28Travis McElroy?

  That's where my fan fiction's at.

• 11:31Griffin McElroy?

  Of the Kramers, I think I'd go with Meryl Streep in our picture. Um, over Dusty Hoff and.

• 11:38Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, and, and Michael Ritchie.

• 11:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:40Travis McElroy?

  Michael Richardson.

• 11:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, so we'll get.

• 11:43Travis McElroy?

  Mikey Ritchie.

• 11:44Griffin McElroy?

  Meryl got out of that one good, so we'll get her and the B and the Predator.

• 11:50Travis McElroy?

  And there at the end, Freddy.

• 11:52Griffin McElroy?

  Freddy can get up in it too.

• 11:54Travis McElroy?

  Freddy, yes.

• 11:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:55Travis McElroy?

  Freddy's alright.

• 11:56Griffin McElroy?

  But actually, and Travis, did you hear it? You sealed the joke. I heard it like, there can't be anything else on top. Did you hear it?

• 12:04Travis McElroy?

  It was like, listen, listen, listen real close.

• 12:07Griffin McElroy?

  The perfect kind of like Salt Bay you did on there. And then it was like, everybody take a step back from it. That's really good shit.

• 12:14Travis McElroy?

  It's so rare that we recognize that in the moment. You know what I mean? Normally we, we, we have to see it in the rearview, you know what I mean? But this time.

• 12:21Travis McElroy?

  It's just nice to know that I was there to do the seal or as one might say, killing blow.

• 12:28Griffin McElroy?

  No, it's, it's still a living document. This, this show is a living, it's in the Library of Congress. Hey.

• 12:35Travis McElroy?

  Wow.

• 12:35Griffin McElroy?

  In the bathroom. I keep living, leaving USB drives of our show in the Library of Congress bathrooms.

• 12:40Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, sealed in a Ziploc baggie in the tank.

• 12:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yep.

• 12:42Travis McElroy?

  Um, I have been seeing the psychiatrist for a while. I congratulate, oh, for my anxiety disorder. Sorry, I, I should have finished the whole.

• 12:52Travis McElroy?

  Either way, congratulations.

• 12:53Travis McElroy?

  I mean, congratulations either way.

• 12:55Travis McElroy?

  My health is important.

• 12:56Travis McElroy?

  It's, it's been pretty helpful. She's also really cool and recently suggested that I watch horror movies. Going so far as to recommend me a few of her favorites. I've now watched 30 odd movies and the issue is I don't really like the ones she's told me to watch. Thirty?

• 13:11Griffin McElroy?

  That's a lot of fucking movies, dude.

• 13:15Travis McElroy?

  Man, if somebody recommends me something, they got about 10 minutes. If they whiffed it, they've whiffed it for good, man. Uh, I found them super boring with okay scares, but a baffling plot. Is there a way I can let her know about this without turning her against me? Or do I have to lie to my psychiatrist? My next appointment is on Halloween. Please help. That's from Madden by mediocre movies. I personally would caution you against lying because I think your psychiatrist needs to know exactly how twisted you are.

• 13:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 13:46Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean? Your psychiatrist, if they're gonna get up there in the, in the, in the dark cobwebs and like dig around in the annals of your brain.

• 13:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:56Travis McElroy?

  They gotta know that like, are the clowns up there?

• 13:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:00Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean? Like all the bad guy.

• 14:02Griffin McElroy?

  There's like, there's both Freddy's. There's four people, there's four people on this earth that I want to know what scares me. And my psych, my therapist would be, would be one of them because it'd be helpful in some of our work.

• 14:16Travis McElroy?

  I would also say the person most likely to know you are lying.

• 14:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:22Travis McElroy?

  Now, because they've studied your psyche.

• 14:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, they know you inside and out. It is an impressive feat to recommend someone thirty movies that they don't like.

• 14:35Travis McElroy?

  Thirty, you're gonna get one just out of dumb luck, right? Thirty is so many.

• 14:41Griffin McElroy?

  So many movies to watch you don't like. And it's like, if someone recommends me two movies I don't like, I've stopped taking recommendations from that person.

• 14:49Travis McElroy?

  I don't think I've watched thirty movies this year.

• 14:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, no, no way.

• 14:53Travis McElroy?

  I would also find it concerning if my therapist who ostensibly has studied my psyche, attempting to understand my brain, then went, I know thirty movies you'll love.

• 15:05Griffin McElroy?

  Just distressing for sure. Absolutely.

• 15:08Travis McElroy?

  Maybe the thing is. This, the, your psychiatrist is actually like, kinda out of their depth. Because like, once they see the, once they kinda see the kinda sick and twisted shit that you get off on, maybe they would be messed up too.

• 15:24Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, sure.

• 15:25Travis McElroy?

  You've been watching all this crazy scary stuff.

• 15:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:28Travis McElroy?

  The psychiatrist can't help you, cuz you wa- didn't you listen?

• 15:31Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:32Travis McElroy?

  Don't watch that stuff, that's evil.

• 15:34Travis McElroy?

  That's evil, bad stuff, dude. I'm trying to walk you back.

• 15:37Travis McElroy?

  Trying to fix you. Yeah, I know, watch these boring movies, you sick fuck.

• 15:43Travis McElroy?

  I'm trying to detox your twisting mind.

• 15:45Travis McElroy?

  Trying to resensitize you, freak.

• 15:50Travis McElroy?

  I do think. I can satiate your bloodlust, no kidding.

• 15:54Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:54Travis McElroy?

  That was just a bunch of Faces of Death movies.

• 15:58Travis McElroy?

  You're getting VHSs mailed to you in unmarked packages, man.

• 16:03Travis McElroy?

  That's direct feed of executions from prisons. You're a terrible person.

• 16:09Travis McElroy?

  I think it's wild to me, maybe I just have a, a different flavor of anxiety.

• 16:15Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 16:15Travis McElroy?

  But the idea that my therapist would be like, hey, I know you're in here for worrying too much and getting too much tension and being too freaked out by things. Anyway, here's thirty scary movies you should watch.

• 16:26Travis McElroy?

  I mean, that makes sense, those, Experation of Pity and Fear, it's one of the great uses of drama. I get that, but it's just, you gotta get your rocks off, though, if it's gonna work, you know, you gotta get your.

• 16:37Griffin McElroy?

  Also, they probably didn't include this, but I assume the therapist told them to like, listen to Yakety Sax while they were watching the movies.

• 16:45Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah, that's good.

• 16:46Griffin McElroy?

  There's like this whole theory, uh, you know, an acceptance, acceptance, commitment therapy where it's just like, take it and twist it and turn it, if you have something fucked up in your brain, like, turn it all, turn it around and look at it a different way. And so playing like Yakety Sax over, um, I don't know, some Troma flick, it changes it. It takes the teeth off of it, it makes you brave.

• 17:08Travis McElroy?

  Guys have got it. They don't specify the anxiety disorder, but if it's related to social anxiety, this is a test.

• 17:16Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, fuck.

• 17:17Travis McElroy?

  Oh dang. Yeah, they gave you movies they knew you wouldn't like.

• 17:20Griffin McElroy?

  Why do all the great-

• 17:22Travis McElroy?

  To see if you can say it wasn't good to their face.

• 17:26Griffin McElroy?

  Why do all the great therapists have to use so many tricks?

• 17:29Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 17:30Griffin McElroy?

  You know what I mean? All the great therapists are so focused on different tricks and puzzles and ways they could catch you up.

• 17:36Travis McElroy?

  Well, did you watch King's Speech? Where fucking Jeffrey Rush is bullying the king to get him to stop stuttering or whatever? I didn't watch it, but I've seen the clip. And he's like yelling and he's like poking him in the eye or something.

• 17:48Griffin McElroy?

  Fucking Good Will-

• 17:49Travis McElroy?

  Fuck, man, stop poking me in the eye. And he's like, mm, didn't stutter, did you?

• 17:52Griffin McElroy?

  Go well hunting when he's like, it's not your fault, kid. And then he starts to cry and when he gets close, Robin Williams farts on his hand and puts it close to his face.

• 17:59Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man. Classic.

• 18:01Griffin McElroy?

  What do we teach? What are we teaching here?

• 18:04Travis McElroy?

  Math? I think that's what they're teaching in Go Well Hunting.

• 18:07Griffin McElroy?

  They do teach a lot of math in Go Well Hunting. Every time you go back and watch that movie, you forget about all the math in it, huh?

• 18:12Travis McElroy?

  No, but you do learn something new.

• 18:14Griffin McElroy?

  They Trojan horses in there. Good. Yeah, man.

• 18:16Travis McElroy?

  How many apples do I have? Do you like these apples or these apples?

• 18:20Griffin McElroy?

  You need to walk in confidently and say, I've fig- I've solved your puzzle. I fucking hated those shitty movies. And you are a bad person for recommending all of them to- because Travis is right. They want to make sure you can stand up.

• 18:35Travis McElroy?

  Travis is right.

• 18:36Griffin McElroy?

  You have to stand up for yourself.

• 18:38Travis McElroy?

  Huh.

• 18:39Griffin McElroy?

  Thirty bad movie recommendations. That's crazy.

• 18:42Travis McElroy?

  Frame it as I've solved your test. You gave me these movies because you knew I wouldn't like them and see if I have the confidence to tell you. You've also now given them the out to say, yeah, that's exactly what it was.

• 18:51Griffin McElroy?

  That's it. That's it.

• 18:51Travis McElroy?

  What if the therapist is like, okay, I'm, I'm hearing your feedback, Jeremy, but please, how many did you watch? Just tell me, how many? Not thirty. No, god damn it.

• 19:03Griffin McElroy?

  Wow.

• 19:03Travis McElroy?

  Have you not been listening to anything? You watched thirty movies? What are we doing in here, Jeremy? I recommended those a week ago.

• 19:11Griffin McElroy?

  You told me your people pleasing was under control. You watched thirty bad movies. You swore to me. You said it was getting better. Thirty?

• 19:23Travis McElroy?

  You watched one of them twice? Just to see if you missed something?

• 19:28Griffin McElroy?

  What was that Wubbles movie with Carrie Elwes in it? What's wrong with you?

• 19:34Travis McElroy?

  This is thirty, this is just thirty Burger King commercials Looped together to make an eighty minute movie. Of course it was boring. God.

• 19:44Griffin McElroy?

  Justin, we gotta talk to-

• 19:45Travis McElroy?

  How did you find a director's cut of the Burger King loop movie?

• 19:49Griffin McElroy?

  Justin, we gotta talk about this crazy fucking lumpy ass gourd you got going on behind you.

• 19:56Travis McElroy?

  Beautiful gourd.

• 19:57Griffin McElroy?

  It's-

• 19:57Travis McElroy?

  That is a biblically accurate gourd.

• 20:00Griffin McElroy?

  It's an octopus monster that got all dried up by science.

• 20:05Griffin McElroy?

  Bring him in. Beauty blog that nasty fucking gourd dude.

• 20:07Travis McElroy?

  Cooper grabbed, got this cat for me at Floyd's.

• 20:12Griffin McElroy?

  That's crazy, man.

• 20:13Travis McElroy?

  I thought it was, I thought it was some ears of corn you had glued together in a weird-

• 20:17Griffin McElroy?

  No, man, that's a single vegetable or fruit.

• 20:20Travis McElroy?

  It's this. I don't know if this, either, these sometimes look like a banana sometimes. Or, this is one of the most important and powerful gourds ever on, on the internet. I don't know. This is either a huge viral thing that everybody's wild about and you're seeing this everywhere on your FYP.

• 20:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:43Travis McElroy?

  Or this is a nothing burger. And I still appreciate it because my daughter thought of me when she got this for me.

• 20:48Travis McElroy?

  My daughter's never gotten me a gourd my whole life.

• 20:50Griffin McElroy?

  Listeners at home, it looks kind of like a small pumpkin that a big fat scorpion climbed on top of and then like kinda goosed all over.

• 20:59Travis McElroy?

  Kinda looks like a banana.

• 21:01Griffin McElroy?

  Like a banana that someone fucked into a tiny pumpkin and then they got banana lumps everywhere.

• 21:07Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. I don't know.

• 21:09Griffin McElroy?

  Get it close to the camera. I know that you're not used to this wide angle, but get it up on, get, give it to me.

• 21:14Travis McElroy?

  I'm so glad we're a video forward podcast now.

• 21:17Travis McElroy?

  I don't know how long it'll last. I don't, I was thinking about if, should I lacquer it? Yeah, lacquer it, right?

• 21:23Griffin McElroy?

  Lacquer that, lacquer that gourd. That'd be cool.

• 21:26Travis McElroy?

  This is, this, I'm, I'm not gonna get up from my chair, so that's the best I can do.

• 21:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you're just holding that gourd for the rest of the recording. Nope. Recording.

• 21:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, bazinga.

• 21:38Travis McElroy?

  All right. You guys want another question?

• 21:40Travis McElroy?

  Please.

• 21:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yes. All right, good. Allow me. My wife came home yesterday and said that her work Slack channel posted a reminder to all the staff to bring back any forks they may have accidentally taken home with them. She said she thought it was weird that anyone would take all the forks with them. I had to tell her that she was in fact the fork thief and that I had been noticing them show up in her lunch bags that she was bringing home with her.

• 22:03Travis McElroy?

  I've been washing them and putting them away with the rest of our dishes, not thinking much about it. Brothers, we've collected over a dozen forks now and we're not sure how to get them back into the office without anyone noticing. How do we return them? That's from fork thief asking for forgiveness in Frederick.

• 22:18Griffin McElroy?

  I feel like I can walk through the mind of this individual and look at the series of small hidden choices they were making to themselves of whether or not to confront their loved one about this fork stealing behavior and saying, no, I will accommodate it and I will in fact be complicit in it.

• 22:36Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you're fencing it. He was fencing the forks.

• 22:40Griffin McElroy?

  You're laundering him.

• 22:42Travis McElroy?

  You are laundering the forks. Absolutely. You are.

• 22:45Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, literally.

• 22:46Travis McElroy?

  You're putting it in a machine and then they come out yours? I don't think so. I'm, I guess I'm learning people, most people are a lot less particular about their silverware than I am. Cause if I put one of a fork in my mouth, that isn't one of my normal shoulders, I'm going to absolutely not be having a good time. I'm pretty particular about those. I like a number of tines. I like some, some tight tine spacing. I like a good hand feel. If somebody's bringing in some scrawdy Raul fork from Nowheresburg, Sean got three for a dollar at the Dollar General. No, thank you. No, thank you. Take that back to work.

• 23:21Travis McElroy?

  Aesthetically, Justin.

• 23:23Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 23:23Travis McElroy?

  You've been putting these away in the drawer with your other forks. When you open that drawer and you look into the fork slot and you see these weird, don't fit the shape, don't stack right.

• 23:36Travis McElroy?

  Tell me the slots that you guys have. What are the slots?

• 23:39Travis McElroy?

  Big fork, little fork, big spoon, little spoon, butter knife.

• 23:43Travis McElroy?

  Travis, that's fucking amazing.

• 23:44Travis McElroy?

  Random.

• 23:45Travis McElroy?

  That's good.

• 23:45Travis McElroy?

  And then random slot with like some plastic, like reusable straws and some chopsticks and et cetera.

• 23:56Griffin McElroy?

  I think you can measure how much you've given up by how you sort the silverware drawer. And at the bottom of the list is probably just like big old bucket. You throw it all in, but I'm, I think I'm probably close to the bottom of the list because we do butter knife, but some steak action will slide in there from time to time.

• 24:13Travis McElroy?

  No, Griffin.

• 24:14Griffin McElroy?

  Big spoon, little spoon in the same drawer, big fork, little fork in the same drawer, and then one for straws, chopsticks, et cetera.

• 24:21Travis McElroy?

  Okay. First of all, piece by piece here, Griffin.

• 24:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:24Travis McElroy?

  You put the steak knives in with the butter knives? Oh, Justin's camera got too hot from the thing you said.

• 24:29Griffin McElroy?

  What is that happen now? It's fucking insane. It's fucking crazy.

• 24:33Griffin McElroy?

  Are you? It's not that, it's not that wild. It's a, it's a camera and it gets hot because it's been on for a while and then it turns off. Every time you act like it's like Cletus, the slack jawed yokel, it's just a warm camera, Griffin. You gotta calm down.

• 24:46Travis McElroy?

  Could you at least turn your camera feed on? So I'm not looking at color boys?

• 24:50Griffin McElroy?

  No, not without standing up. I can't.

• 24:52Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, you put the steak knife in with the butter knife. Well, how is when you reach in to get a butter knife? And some slicey action happens.

• 24:59Griffin McElroy?

  How much fucking, first of all, they all go in kind of like blade first, handle, hand ass up, ass up, up blade down. That's the way we stack our silverware. I'm not going to fucking toss them in there like.

• 25:12Travis McElroy?

  So you reach in to grab a butter knife. You come away with a steak knife and then you have to put that down and pick up a butter knife. Now you've had two trips, two trips.

• 25:23Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, all my steak knives have, you know, this fine elk bone.

• 25:27Travis McElroy?

  If I don't get the thing I want right out of the drawer, I'm so bothered.

• 25:33Griffin McElroy?

  I can, and yeah, but I know what the difference is. I can tell by just the touch of it, of what is a butter knife and what is a steak knife? I don't need to have.

• 25:40Travis McElroy?

  Why are you touching the knife? Like, think about it, though. That's dangerous.

• 25:44Griffin McElroy?

  To get it and use it. What are you talking about?

• 25:46Travis McElroy?

  Dangerous. What if you poke your finger? How small is your sword?

• 25:52Griffin McElroy?

  You guys genuinely do sound a little bit like my mother-in-law right now, who does, every time I'm in the kitchen, usually during Thanksgiving, cutting something, saying, ooh, careful, that's knife looks. And it is true that the first time that they came over Thanksgiving, I cut my fingers so badly. I cut it so, so badly. And so I haven't established a great track record. But I'm good with knives, generally speaking. I'm not going to cut myself reaching into the butter knife drawer.

• 26:15Travis McElroy?

  When you mix your spoons, let's get to spoons, Griffin. The bold depth and size is different.

• 26:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, but like. I look at it. Here's what I do. I look down in the drawer and I look at the spoons. I say, there's a small one. I would like that for cereal.

• 26:29Travis McElroy?

  But they don't stack correctly.

• 26:31Griffin McElroy?

  But it, they don't stack correctly, but it does make the question, Griffin, if you are already doing this, if you're looking at spoons and deciding which spoon you want, why don't you just pile the spoons and the forks together then? Well, because. Damn, you're right. I'm no better.

• 26:44Travis McElroy?

  You're not. You're an animal.

• 26:46Travis McElroy?

  We live in a society.

• 26:47Travis McElroy?

  That's fine, Griffin. You got clawed back out. All right?

• 26:50Griffin McElroy?

  I got you.

• 26:50Travis McElroy?

  Maybe today try separating them and just take a moment to appreciate the step you've taken.

• 26:57Griffin McElroy?

  Is it okay to put chopsticks and straws together?

• 26:59Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's fine.

• 27:00Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I put a big bag of chopsticks, straws, popsicle molds, trash, you know?

• 27:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:08Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Uh, it also helps Griffin if the chopsticks can fit into one of the straws that you can just eat it like a blow dart into some foam. And yeah, that's actually really important.

• 27:18Griffin McElroy?

  The government should pay for you to move back into your own house every year. Cause I bet I would do so much of a better job at this time, like knowing where shit should go.

• 27:28Travis McElroy?

  Cause you've lived there for a while now, you know?

• 27:30Griffin McElroy?

  For like a long time.

• 27:30Travis McElroy?

  You get mad at yourself all the time. Like, why did you do this?

• 27:33Griffin McElroy?

  Moving sucks and it's so expensive, but if the government paid for me to do it once, now that I'm good at it, I'd kick ass.

• 27:41Travis McElroy?

  And the government loves paying for stuff right now.

• 27:43Griffin McElroy?

  Well, no.

• 27:44Travis McElroy?

  They're paying for everything.

• 27:45Griffin McElroy?

  Travis, you have to get political and it's like.

• 27:48Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:49Griffin McElroy?

  Like, I know they're not gonna do it. It's obviously a fancy dreamland. Like, we say a lot of bullshit on this show, like Rowan Atkinson is starring in a four-part mini-series sequel to Man vs. B called Man vs. Baby. Like, we make shit up on this show, like, all the time. And we play with it. We play with it. Yeah.

• 28:07Travis McElroy?

  I, everything I've ever said on this show is 100% true.

• 28:11Travis McElroy?

  Perfect. That's great. Good news.

• 28:12Travis McElroy?

  Just to balance it out.

• 28:14Travis McElroy?

  Let's take a break.

• 28:25Travis McElroy?

  You know how normally Sundays are for humans?

• 28:29Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:30Travis McElroy?

  Not anymore. Now, they've come out with a brand new product, Sundays for dogs.

• 28:38Griffin McElroy?

  This is a good name.

• 28:39Travis McElroy?

  Wait, no, I'm looking here and I'm looking at the bag of food they sent me. It's dog food. It's not a day of the week. Is dog food.

• 28:46Griffin McElroy?

  Sundays for Dogs is still a kick ass, like really strong name. I would be honored to have that on the, on the face of a product that I created.

• 28:54Travis McElroy?

  I did break down weekends for my kids that Saturdays are Daddays. Which is like, could mean I have things I need to take care of, like organizing the garage or whatever. Or it could be like, hey, you're gonna hang out with dad today. And then Sundays are fun days where we usually go somewhere to, you know, like a museum.

• 29:12Griffin McElroy?

  Fridays for the freaks.

• 29:14Travis McElroy?

  Where either they'll have fun or they'll stay quiet while you have fun.

• 29:18Griffin McElroy?

  Exactly.

• 29:19Travis McElroy?

  It mixes and matches. It's a beautiful system.

• 29:21Griffin McElroy?

  Gotta move that now though, cause Sundays for Dogs.

• 29:25Travis McElroy?

  Yes, Sundays for Dogs, you know, normally you can either have fresh or healthy. With Sundays for Dogs, you have fresh and healthy. They sent us a bag. And one, I'll tell you this, both of my pups, they got sensitive tongue toms. But we've been using Sundays for Dogs as treats for Lily, our big old dog. And she yummys that shit up. She loves it. She's finally listening to me for the first time ever.

• 29:51Griffin McElroy?

  She finally likes Travis. It's amazing.

• 29:53Travis McElroy?

  She likes me. Sundays is fresh, air dried dog food made from great ingredients. The rest of these are customized based on the needs of your dog, its size, breeds, allergies, activity levels and more. You don't need to thaw it. There's a lot of dog foods now that like you find in the refrigerator at the pet store where it comes like frozen. You don't gotta do that. And you can make the switch to Sundays by right now going to sundaysfordogs.com slash mybrother to get 50% off your first order. Or you can use code MYBROTHER at checkout. That's 50% off your first order at sundaysfordogs.com slash mybrother. sundaysfordogs.com slash mybrother or use code MYBROTHER at checkout. Woof woof, big dog approved.

• 30:41Travis McElroy?

  Griffin Andrew McElroy.

• 30:43Griffin McElroy?

  All right.

• 30:43Travis McElroy?

  My name is Peter Riddles. I'm an agent to the stars. I know you've fallen on hard times and I got good news for you.

• 30:50Griffin McElroy?

  What which hard times?

• 30:51Travis McElroy?

  Hard times? I didn't know that.

• 30:53Travis McElroy?

  I know you've fallen on hard times, Griffin.

• 30:54Griffin McElroy?

  Which kind of hard times? I've fallen on a few different types of hard times.

• 30:58Travis McElroy?

  Struggling to pick up work lately. Uh, his brothers can't carry his coattails anymore. It's been, it's sad Travis. He's reduced. He actually wrote a book, if you can believe it. It's getting pretty sad.

• 31:07Travis McElroy?

  Was it like a novel?

• 31:08Travis McElroy?

  He had to write a book. He had to write a book, but listen, I'm going to turn things around for you, baby, because I have, uh, I've been learning the web and, uh, I'm gonna be charging you an absolute premium to make a website for you because I, I've taken the time to make myself into an expert, Griffin. So for a very reasonable fee.

• 31:27Travis McElroy?

  Name again, Agent Man?

• 31:28Travis McElroy?

  Peter Squarespace is my name and, uh, I'm gonna, yes.

• 31:32Griffin McElroy?

  Are you sure that's the name you said at the start?

• 31:34Travis McElroy?

  Said Peter Reynolds.

• 31:36Travis McElroy?

  Re- Reynolds?

• 31:39Travis McElroy?

  With an M?

• 31:41Griffin McElroy?

  Which one, Pete, which one is it?

• 31:43Travis McElroy?

  No, Reynolds.

• 31:45Griffin McElroy?

  No, obviously not Remnolds.

• 31:47Travis McElroy?

  Certainly not Reynolds.

• 31:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. So what did you need me to, what did you need me to do, Pete?

• 31:55Travis McElroy?

  I'm making your website, baby. And, yeah, you gotta pay me a, a bunch of money because, uh, I'm a, I got a big team of experts and they can let you do whatever you want with a website, Griffin. You're gonna have to pay me a huge premium because our websites that we build, they can do anything. You can sell stuff with these. You can, yeah.

• 32:12Travis McElroy?

  Hey Griffin, can I talk to you over here real quick?

• 32:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you keep going, Pete.

• 32:15Travis McElroy?

  You're gonna miss out on the deal.

• 32:16Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 32:18Travis McElroy?

  What's up, Griffin? I think that this Remnolds guy is maybe trying to take you to the cleaners because you can do all that with Squarespace. You don't need, you don't need Remnolds.

• 32:27Griffin McElroy?

  Did say his name was Peter Squarespace.

• 32:28Travis McElroy?

  We got, wait, wait, wait. I don't want to interrupt, but we got, we got world-class designers.

• 32:32Griffin McElroy?

  Hold on. That was crazy.

• 32:33Travis McElroy?

  Getting a call from another, another client.

• 32:35Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry, I got another guy coming in. Hold on. Really? That's your ringtone for Sydney?

• 32:38Travis McElroy?

  No, Griffin's dragging his feet. I don't know. Maybe I'll have room for you because Griffin's dragging his feet.

• 32:43Travis McElroy?

  I know for sure that's Sydney.

• 32:45Travis McElroy?

  Do what? Just because the ringtone is on the wings of love? That's gotta be my wife? You're ridiculous.

• 32:49Travis McElroy?

  You're married to Sydney too?

• 32:51Griffin McElroy?

  Uh-oh.

• 32:51Travis McElroy?

  Peter Reynolds and Justin McElroy are both married to Sydney?

• 32:55Travis McElroy?

  The sequel to Sydney.

• 32:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, so.

• 32:57Travis McElroy?

  Listen, I have world-class designers that have made templates for me only and I can let you use them for a, an exorbitant fee.

• 33:06Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 33:06Travis McElroy?

  Go ahead with what you're saying. Sorry.

• 33:08Griffin McElroy?

  First of all.

• 33:11Griffin McElroy?

  The book that I'm writing is The Stow Away. I've written it. It's coming out next year. You can preorder it at bit.ly/griffinstowaway. Really excited for that.

• 33:20Travis McElroy?

  A choose your own adventure experience.

• 33:22Griffin McElroy?

  It's a choose your own adventure experience. Penguin-

• 33:25Travis McElroy?

  This is why you're never going anywhere.

• 33:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, Penguin Random House made the website for that one. Didn't, did not, did not have the opportunity to whip one up. But if I did, Mr. Remnold, I would, I would use Squarespace and not whatever bogus bullshit you're trying to sling my fucking way, dude. I've got you dead to rights in my sights and I know that it's not right, what you're doing.

• 33:47Travis McElroy?

  So don't fall for Peter Remnold's predatory practices. Instead, head to Squarespace.com/mybrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MYBROTHER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 34:06Speaker 04

  Pokemon, Insecure, Love Island, Paramore. What do all these things have in common? Black people love them. That's where Black People Love Paramore comes in. We're a pop culture podcast, taking a funny look at the common and sometimes very uncommon things black people love. From asking why so many black kids were secretly emo, to debating whether Beyonce is underrated. Hint: she is. We're getting into all the things that make us feel a little bit more seen. Get it? And yes, everybody's invited. No matter your niche, we have room for you. Listen to Black People Love Paramore on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get your podcasts.

• 34:50Speaker 05

  Hello?

• 34:50Speaker 06

  Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network Podcast.

• 34:54Speaker 05

  No, I'm sorry, no sales calls. Goodbye.

• 34:56Speaker 06

  It's a multi-award-winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long.

• 35:00Speaker 05

  I don't know what a Josie Long is. And anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones. I don't want that to carry you home again, do I?

• 35:19Speaker 06

  Right. Well, if you were looking for a podcast-

• 35:20Speaker 05

  Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is musical theatre, not a Parisian bordello.

• 35:26Speaker 06

  Simply go to MaximumFun.org.

• 35:29Speaker 05

  I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother! Mother, not that hat!

• 35:38Travis McElroy?

  I never know if Justin's waiting for one of us to talk, so you could interrupt it with a bit. Yeah, I know. And so let's, sometimes I just like to do a gentle. All right.

• 35:53Travis McElroy?

  So. I wanna munch.

• 35:57Travis McElroy?

  I want you munch. Squad.

• 36:03Travis McElroy?

  Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast of the podcast profile and the lazy, crazy and brand of eating. And finally, someone's doing something about Elf. Guys. Elf? Scooter's Coffee. This is a first. That's not a real place. This is a first press release I've ever had that is also adventure. Cool. So I want you guys to experience. Is there anything we should know to be ready for the adventure? Just imagine it in your mind's eye, I guess, to experience the adventure. Okay.

• 36:30Travis McElroy?

  Press your own adventure.

• 36:31Travis McElroy?

  At Scooter's Coffee. Smiling is our favorite. Scooter's Coffee is partnered with those, those wizards over at Warner Brothers Discovery Global Consumer Products. They doesn't say that. It doesn't say that sentence. What? The wizards. No, I added wizards, but it does say has partnered with Warner Brothers Discovery Global Consumer Products. Man alive. Globochem Corp. Fuck, man. Happy holidays from Globochem. To bring out smiles and holiday cheer to coffee drive-throughs far and near. The holiday menu at Scooter's Coffee is filled with magic and sweet surprises inspired by New Line Cinema's film Elf. Which is at least 15 years old.

• 37:15Travis McElroy?

  Which is at least 600,000 years old. Throughout the holiday season, you've got drinks and food items that feature maple, peppermint, and cherry flavors. That's inspired by the holiday classic film. Each drink comes with served in a cup, featuring guys' designs inspired by Buddy the Elf and Jovi's North Pole looks. And there's a stick, there's a sticker featuring a friendly face for the North Pole. Can you give me the original take on that? It's a seeger.

• 37:45Travis McElroy?

  It's a sticker with a friendly face from the North Pole. Now, they don't go so far as to say it's Santa, but I'll be fucked if it's not Santa.

• 37:54Travis McElroy?

  It's trademarked.

• 37:55Travis McElroy?

  It's a sticker, but they can't say sticker, a Santa sticker.

• 37:58Speaker 04

  Collect the wool, collect all the wifey's.

• 38:02Travis McElroy?

  Many stores will also feature holiday lighting and decor inspired by Buddy's journey to New York City to save his, find his father.

• 38:10Griffin McElroy?

  Shit, yeah. Save his father would be better.

• 38:13Travis McElroy?

  Cherry?

• 38:14Travis McElroy?

  Second.

• 38:15Travis McElroy?

  I love that they put in the press release, check this, folks, we're doing something new and different this holiday season. Our store, holiday decorations.

• 38:24Griffin McElroy?

  Trees and shit, garland.

• 38:26Travis McElroy?

  We're gonna have lights.

• 38:28Travis McElroy?

  I, I really, the, uh, I really like the version of this journey where the sea serpent that greets Buddy is played by, in the TV animated special, I don't know if you guys know this, but the sea serpent that says goodbye to Buddy is voiced by one Matt Lauer, a real black mark on another one.

• 38:44Griffin McElroy?

  It's a delightful film, yeah.

• 38:47Travis McElroy?

  A monster playing a monster, fantastic. Hey, the candy cane forest, mocha. Hot or ice blended, features our world-class espresso combined with decadent mocha and peppermint flavors, a mocha drizzle and topped with whipped cream, more mocha drizzle and peppermint chips.

• 39:02Travis McElroy?

  Wait, that's too much mocha drizzle.

• 39:04Griffin McElroy?

  That's a lot of.

• 39:05Travis McElroy?

  That's a mocha storm.

• 39:07Griffin McElroy?

  Why do I need two strata? Two, two strata of mocha drizzle.

• 39:12Travis McElroy?

  No matter which peppermint option you choose, we're bringing the candy cane forest to you. Now, we're gonna go through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops. And have a swirly twirly sugar cookie latte. That's hot, iced, or blended.

• 39:27Travis McElroy?

  Well, now, hold on.

• 39:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 39:29Travis McElroy?

  A sugar cookie is not a gumdrop.

• 39:31Griffin McElroy?

  Close to a gumdrop.

• 39:33Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, dude. They're two wildly different sweet, like, universes.

• 39:37Travis McElroy?

  How everybody hates gumdrops and they're all busted down flavors.

• 39:41Travis McElroy?

  They're good if you want to build with them in toothpicks.

• 39:44Travis McElroy?

  They, that is good. That's the only reason they keep making them. That's the reason, only Michael's sells gumdrops because they're only for crafts.

• 39:50Griffin McElroy?

  Have we talked about, it feels like this sounds like, this sounds like the kind of thing we've definitely talked about before, but is there a gingerbread house eating contest that happens after the gingerbread house, like, creation contest? Because I would love to see someone try to pound down more than like. A half dozen gum drops.

• 40:07Travis McElroy?

  You know what happens to the gingerbread houses that Disney World makes, right?

• 40:11Griffin McElroy?

  What?

• 40:11Travis McElroy?

  They become houses for bees.

• 40:17Griffin McElroy?

  I guess, yeah, man, I guess.

• 40:18Travis McElroy?

  What they do is they take them out and they become houses for bees.

• 40:22Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, you can't just say they become houses for bees. That is nature.

• 40:26Travis McElroy?

  I don't know how much clearer he could say it. Here's what I'm saying. They chuck them out there.

• 40:31Griffin McElroy?

  Where?

• 40:32Travis McElroy?

  Alligators, where the alligators and mosquitoes are. They chuck them out there.

• 40:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 40:36Travis McElroy?

  And then they bring a bunch of bees and they say, fucking go for it. We got a new queen here and she loves this gingerbread house and this is her gingerbread castle.

• 40:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 40:43Travis McElroy?

  Maybe we'll name her Anna and glue a little wig to her or whatever. But here's the point is you guys live in this fucking house now. Eat it up.

• 40:49Griffin McElroy?

  That's, that's, that sucks for them, man. That's a bad.

• 40:52Travis McElroy?

  Are you kidding? It sounds pretty fucking good.

• 40:54Griffin McElroy?

  It sounds pretty fucking good, except it's like, oh, guys, it's winter time and our house is gonna happen. We eat it at all because it's sweet candy.

• 41:01Travis McElroy?

  It's winter time in Florida and California, Griffin. Don't get on your high horse.

• 41:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, it's what, 60? 60 in the afternoon? Come on.

• 41:08Travis McElroy?

  Also, I want to say, here's my pitch for a gingerbread house eating competition. It's not how much or how fast. It is, in fact, how long do you think you can wait? And then still be able to consume.

• 41:20Griffin McElroy?

  Dryest.

• 41:21Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, so it's like, I'm gonna wait. But if you wait too long.

• 41:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:26Travis McElroy?

  And then you go to eat it and you're like, actually, this is no longer consumable. You're disqualified.

• 41:31Griffin McElroy?

  I have to imagine that there is, they make space for like the big gulp full of water that they just dunk, dunk them all in, get it soft and gullible like they do in the hot dog one.

• 41:42Travis McElroy?

  It would be different categories.

• 41:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:44Travis McElroy?

  Right? There would be with liquid, without.

• 41:47Griffin McElroy?

  With toothpicks, without.

• 41:49Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:49Griffin McElroy?

  Toothpicks is.

• 41:50Travis McElroy?

  Get them down.

• 41:51Griffin McElroy?

  Chomp them down. It's faster to eat the toothpicks, definitely.

• 41:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it is. You gotta, it's a few extra chews.

• 41:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yep.

• 41:58Travis McElroy?

  There's a, there, okay, so now, and finally, we've got treats inspired by Buddy the Elf. You did it. Congratulations. You made the whole journey through the press release.

• 42:06Griffin McElroy?

  Now they're elf flavored.

• 42:08Travis McElroy?

  Celebrate your holiday season victories with maple infused options that don't skimp on the syrup. The Buddy the Elf Maple Caramelicious Hot Iced or Blended Features Our Signature Drink. I'm assuming they mean coffee.

• 42:21Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:22Travis McElroy?

  But we put an elf-inspired new spin on the classic. Creamy Carol meets Maple and Rich Espresso before being topped with whipped cream. Creamy Caramel meets Maple.

• 42:31Griffin McElroy?

  Creamy Carol is the woman who puts the whipped cream on all of the drinks.

• 42:34Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:35Griffin McElroy?

  That's true. She hates it when you call her that.

• 42:37Travis McElroy?

  Where's the cream on my thing?

• 42:38Griffin McElroy?

  Creamy Carol is at a death in the family. Creamy Carol is.

• 42:42Travis McElroy?

  And none of us are trained on it.

• 42:44Griffin McElroy?

  Creepy Carol is on sabbatical. It's rough, man. I do not know what to say to her.

• 42:48Travis McElroy?

  Perfect for making snow angels, The Buddy the Elf Maple Chai gives your favorite spiced chai an elf upgrade with warm notes of golden maple syrup.

• 42:57Griffin McElroy?

  How is it perfect for making snow angels?

• 42:59Travis McElroy?

  You dump it on the ground.

• 43:00Griffin McElroy?

  Dump it on the ground in the shape of an angel.

• 43:02Travis McElroy?

  It's perfect for making snow angels because you need to, after you've gotten down there with Jovi and made beautiful snow angels, then you need a warm up.

• 43:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:09Travis McElroy?

  Before you go find your dad. James Cobb.

• 43:13Griffin McElroy?

  I love you, Dad.

• 43:14Travis McElroy?

  He's on the naughty list.

• 43:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, he is.

• 43:16Travis McElroy?

  Uh, don't have as much of a sweet tooth as Buddy the Elf? Try our Son of a Nutcracker Brewed Coffee, a special limited brewed coffee featuring notes of dark chocolate, roasted nuts, and warm brown sugary bread. It's all based on a movie that's older than your kid's kindergarten teacher, believe it or not. Amazing.

• 43:31Griffin McElroy?

  Great flick, great, great flick.

• 43:34Travis McElroy?

  Great flick.

• 43:35Griffin McElroy?

  This is one of the more comprehensive brand partnerships.

• 43:38Travis McElroy?

  Dude, we're not even done. Welcome to the, we're filled with holiday cheer. There's plenty more to cheer about with our Cheery Cheer Sparkling Float. Tart, cherry, and vanilla flavors mixed with sparkling soda and creamy snowy vanilla float topping and whipped cream for a carbonated cup of Cheery Cheer. This one's trying to fuck with me. I'm not great of a reader, but this one is trying to make problems for me intentionally.

• 44:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:01Travis McElroy?

  Which is rude.

• 44:02Griffin McElroy?

  How big's their menu that they can slot in two dozen?

• 44:05Travis McElroy?

  Snowball Fight Cake Bite with a delicious bite of vanilla cake goodness with creamy blue filling surrounded by white chocolate and topped with. They're now getting into like deep cut elf references that only the real elf heads.

• 44:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:20Travis McElroy?

  Only the real elfies remember this.

• 44:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:23Travis McElroy?

  There's exclusive co-branded X, sorry, elf.

• 44:27Travis McElroy?

  Scooters Coffee Merchandise. That's how I'm saying, or no, sorry, we're pronouncing those, right?

• 44:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:32Travis McElroy?

  Is that what we sell them on?

• 44:33Griffin McElroy?

  That is, yeah.

• 44:34Travis McElroy?

  There's co-branded Elf Scooter Coffee Merchandise. Makes for a sweet holiday gift, available in stores and online. Our Son of a Nutcracker Tumbler, a stainless steel 32 ounce insulated tumbler. Finally, folks, a cup with Elf on it.

• 44:50Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:50Travis McElroy?

  I think, I think we finally did it, guys. A coffee mug with Elf.

• 44:56Griffin McElroy?

  You've, they've like tripled the size of their core menu options.

• 45:00Travis McElroy?

  Merchandise is available at scooterscoffee.com, including a Son of a Nutcracker blanket, featuring the same design.

• 45:07Griffin McElroy?

  Did they just get rights to the one saying, the one quote?

• 45:11Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. What did you guys have left over that we could just troll for? Uh, so that is an exciting partnership. I'm excited to get over to Scooters. Never been to one. Can't imagine I'll go now. Too much Elf stuff.

• 45:25Griffin McElroy?

  Too much.

• 45:26Travis McElroy?

  You would have to say the name of these things out loud to order them.

• 45:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 45:31Travis McElroy?

  Cause yeah, can't do it, won't do it.

• 45:33Griffin McElroy?

  I'll do it like I do it at like a restaurant where I don't know how to pronounce some of the menu items, or I'll be like, I will have the stew. And they'll know what I mean when I say like,

• 45:44Travis McElroy?

  This one?

• 45:44Griffin McElroy?

  I would like.

• 45:45Travis McElroy?

  Can I have this one, please?

• 45:46Griffin McElroy?

  May I have the cherry beverage? And you know.

• 45:51Travis McElroy?

  And how many does that cost?

• 45:53Griffin McElroy?

  You want me to say, son of a nutcracker? You have a knife in your hand. You're saying, say, son of a nutcracker.

• 45:58Travis McElroy?

  Out loud, okay.

• 45:59Griffin McElroy?

  You said, you said, say, son of a nutcracker, or I can't finish? You said that to me, a customer at your coffee shop?

• 46:07Travis McElroy?

  God, this place is a drive-through. I wouldn't want to stay here for very long.

• 46:10Griffin McElroy?

  Thanks.

• 46:12Travis McElroy?

  Uh, on the first day of class, our TA told us not to raise our hands, but simply to speak up when we had something to share. For context, I'm in grad school and there are about 20 people in the class. I respect the TA and want to follow their request, but I keep forgetting and raising my hand anyway. To say this bothers her would be an understatement. She is clearly annoyed and has even begun to threaten docking grades. I've started to realize what I'm doing partway through raising my hand and trying to pass it off as raising my hand through my hair or stretching.

• 46:37Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome.

• 46:38Travis McElroy?

  I could only do this so many times before it looks suspicious. The other day I tried to pass off raising my hand as pretending to shoot basketball and it didn't go over well. Brothers, what are some other convincing ways that could pretend I am not raising my hand? That's from Teacher's Pest in Tennessee.

• 46:52Griffin McElroy?

  Stretch.

• 46:53Travis McElroy?

  No, they already said stretching.

• 46:54Travis McElroy?

  I mean, they did cover that. Now say, pretend to shoot basketball.

• 46:57Griffin McElroy?

  Pretend to shoot a basketball, big one in the hoop.

• 47:00Travis McElroy?

  Oh, there he did it.

• 47:01Travis McElroy?

  Pretend like you're raising an antenna to get better reception on your invisible ham radio.

• 47:06Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's good. Pretend to grab a bug.

• 47:12Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 47:13Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's a good one. If you just like snap it out of the air and then

• 47:18Travis McElroy?

  Maybe.

• 47:18Travis McElroy?

  Body odor, body odor check.

• 47:21Travis McElroy?

  Write a fun phrase on the palm of your hand.

• 47:24Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:24Griffin McElroy?

  Don't think you're cheating. Don't think you're cheating.

• 47:26Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no. So then when you raise your hand, they see and it just says like, hi TA.

• 47:31Travis McElroy?

  They'll kill you.

• 47:31Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, wait, no, Tracy's a good idea. Waving. Hi.

• 47:37Travis McElroy?

  I'm not, don't call on me. I know I have shit.

• 47:40Travis McElroy?

  And give him a thumbs up. Let him know they're doing a good job.

• 47:42Griffin McElroy?

  Just glad to see you teach.

• 47:44Travis McElroy?

  Air high five.

• 47:46Griffin McElroy?

  It sucks that you only.

• 47:47Travis McElroy?

  Great point. Great point, teach.

• 47:49Griffin McElroy?

  Sucks you only get to wave when you say hi or bye to someone. You should be able to mid-conversation be like,

• 47:55Travis McElroy?

  I wave all the time. What are you talking about?

• 47:57Griffin McElroy?

  I'm fucking stoked all over again to be talking to you, man. Here's a big one for you, dude.

• 48:02Travis McElroy?

  I'm not very good at waving too, so I do it all the time to try to practice.

• 48:06Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 48:06Travis McElroy?

  Sometimes when I wave, it makes it seem like my wrist is disconnected from my hand and it's just kinda all over the place.

• 48:14Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's, you need to, you need to, it needs to be more of a lever action.

• 48:17Travis McElroy?

  I can't. I'm trying to do kind of more of a princess dying.

• 48:21Travis McElroy?

  No, man.

• 48:22Travis McElroy?

  Parade wave.

• 48:23Travis McElroy?

  It would be, you know, it would be nice if we use the wave as a symbol to like, start the conversation over. Like, I'm not, like, I've accidentally lied a couple of times and I don't want to have this anymore and you're going to talk to me about something I don't care about. And I just want to start over, please.

• 48:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, watch that hand, man.

• 48:38Travis McElroy?

  You would have to limit the amount of times you could do that, right? Like, you could do that like once a conversation.

• 48:45Griffin McElroy?

  Do you guys think John Cena, the first time he did the, you can't see me thing, he was just waving at himself? Cause he was like.

• 48:53Travis McElroy?

  Or he smelled something?

• 48:54Griffin McElroy?

  He wanted to, that's possible too.

• 48:56Travis McElroy?

  Or he would want to just smell something. He was trying to walk.

• 49:00Griffin McElroy?

  That was it. It was Cena V Rock and the Rock was like, do you smell? And John Cena was like.

• 49:06Travis McElroy?

  I don't know, man.

• 49:08Travis McElroy?

  I'm trying.

• 49:09Travis McElroy?

  That looks cool. That looks really cool.

• 49:10Travis McElroy?

  That's another thing you could do. You could do the John Cena wave. You start to wave your hand and then you just wave it in front of your face.

• 49:16Travis McElroy?

  That's cool. Yeah, you raise one hand, you raise the other hand.

• 49:19Griffin McElroy?

  Bring it down like crotch chop.

• 49:20Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah. Brutalizing our microphones during this question. It's, I've been seeing interviews of John Cena lately pop up on TikTok and he's talking about a lot of like debonair stuff like his, like, uh, his preferences of coffee or.

• 49:33Travis McElroy?

  I watched that as well, Justin.

• 49:35Travis McElroy?

  He's very debonair and it gave me this strange, a strange emotion I don't think I've ever had before, which is the feeling that I am glad John Cena is as big as he is, so he is not bullied. Because I think if John Cena was not John Cena sized, he would get bullied a lot. Like, I felt weirdly defensive for a John Cena that didn't exist. That didn't have his huge muscles, you know what I mean? But I'm glad he is as, he is as, John Cena is as big as he needs to be. And I don't think I understood this because I was not a wrestling person. Yeah. And, but he is, I will say, it seems like widely bullied in that, even in that world, for a strong man, it seems like even people who like wrestling

• 50:18Travis McElroy?

  bullied John Cena more than they would feel comfortable bullying a man of his size.

• 50:22Travis McElroy?

  Well, he left wrestling to go to Hollywood, Justin, where being debonair is appreciated. Now he comes back and he's like, y'all bullied me when I was just a big, strong wrestler, but look at me now.

• 50:34Travis McElroy?

  Look at me now. I'd like to get a gut check from Griffin on this angle of John Cena being highly bullyable because I feel that in my bones. I want to know if it's a right, a right feeling. Um, I need, I need 10 seconds.

• 50:49Travis McElroy?

  Can I also just say, uh, Justin, he wasn't always that big. Like, as much as I want to picture a 10-year-old John Cena who's absolutely jacked and it's just the same, but scaled down to 10? There must have been a time where he did get bullied and he thought, I'm gonna become an absolutely jacked mountain of a man.

• 51:10Travis McElroy?

  Yes, but what I'm saying is like, I think. Baby Cena's. His hugeness is directly proportionate to how big of a dork he was. He real like a lot of people would have that realization and they do like 20 pushups and be like, okay, I'm all right. I feel good. John Cena's like, I'm a, I think I need to get just really huge to be able to carry off.

• 51:32Travis McElroy?

  That's what I did.

• 51:33Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. Travis. Yeah. The Travis McElroy system. He called it.

• 51:37Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Where I got real big.

• 51:39Griffin McElroy?

  In 2000.

• 51:40Travis McElroy?

  Weirdo.

• 51:41Griffin McElroy?

  In 2002, John Cena debuted the alias that he had at the time, which was a freestyle rapping wrestler named the Doctor of Thuganomics.

• 51:58Travis McElroy?

  I'm gonna hyperventilate.

• 51:59Travis McElroy?

  Okay, so.

• 52:00Griffin McElroy?

  This is real.

• 52:02Travis McElroy?

  Cannon.

• 52:02Griffin McElroy?

  A hundred percent, fully, fully super. I know, guys, I get it that that sounds like some shit, I would say, that would be made up on this show where we say made up shit all the time, like man versus baby. But that's very real. I have to imagine.

• 52:15Travis McElroy?

  Man versus baby is real too. I want to be clear.

• 52:20Travis McElroy?

  Damn it. Okay. Go ahead. Thank you.

• 52:22Griffin McElroy?

  I have to imagine.

• 52:24Travis McElroy?

  Did you guys make that?

• 52:24Griffin McElroy?

  That where he is.

• 52:25Travis McElroy?

  Because I didn't even Google it.

• 52:26Griffin McElroy?

  It's very real. I have to imagine where John Cena is now, the frame, the frame he occupies now was largely, he was pressed firmly into that mold.

• 52:40Travis McElroy?

  Like a plate, like the Playdo dentist.

• 52:42Griffin McElroy?

  Like a Playdo dentist.

• 52:43Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 52:43Griffin McElroy?

  Because of a slingshot effect that he took around Doctor of Thuganomics to come back. He went, whoa. And everyone's like, this sucks. And he was like, rip. And he launched back forward into that huge guy mold. And now he's like, he is where he is now. And that's like a, who, who does that? Who can make that fucking transition? Nobody.

• 53:06Travis McElroy?

  My question is. Did the Doctor of Thuganomics have a PhD or a medical degree?

• 53:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 53:15Travis McElroy?

  Because even in there, what it applies implies is that the character went, yes, I could just be a layman of Thuganomics, but I will attend more schooling.

• 53:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Um, debuting the Doctor of Thuganomics character in 2002, Cena began performing freestyle raps and promos and wore jerseys and hats as part of his gimmick, along with the slogan, "Wordlife." So he had to, he had to, they had to crush him at the bottom of the fucking pit. Batman broke his back so he could climb back up. Now he's the fucking fear. You know what I mean?

• 53:50Travis McElroy?

  I love that.

• 53:51Griffin McElroy?

  I love that for him.

• 53:52Travis McElroy?

  Good for you, John. Cool journey. Would love to get you on my brother, my brother and me, or McQuaid family clubhouse. Standing offer, John.

• 53:59Travis McElroy?

  Or just a cool hang if you, if you're afraid of the attention.

• 54:03Griffin McElroy?

  And I'm not gonna bully you.

• 54:03Travis McElroy?

  If you're afraid of all the attention you would get from guessing on our show, I understand that can be off putting. We can just chill out and play Fortnite together.

• 54:11Travis McElroy?

  That's fine.

• 54:12Travis McElroy?

  You can, you can play as yourself.

• 54:14Griffin McElroy?

  I can be you, John, in Fortnite.

• 54:16Travis McElroy?

  He probably doesn't play as John Cena, right?

• 54:19Travis McElroy?

  No, but I bet it would make him more comfortable if you did.

• 54:22Griffin McElroy?

  He do pickle, he do pickle Rick.

• 54:26Griffin McElroy?

  John Cena loves that. John Cena's still talking about Pickle Rick, guys.

• 54:31Travis McElroy?

  John, hi. The invite was real. Griffin doesn't mean this.

• 54:34Griffin McElroy?

  No, please, please.

• 54:35Travis McElroy?

  I do know that part.

• 54:37Griffin McElroy?

  I do fully mean it. He's on his farewell tour season still in WWE and every once in a while I'll be like, "I'm about to take you down like Pickle Rick." And they're like, "Dude, you can't fucking..."

• 54:47Travis McElroy?

  You're saying, Griffin, there's two things, there's two things John Cena loves that we know about. The perfect flat white, which he discusses at length in the video Justin and I watched, and Pickle Rick.

• 55:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, dude.

• 55:01Travis McElroy?

  So when John Cena goes into a coffee shop, he orders a flat white to see if they know what they're doing, and then asks the barista, "Also, what are your feelings on Pickle Rick?"

• 55:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, and you know, it's great, it's like, he... He's, he hasn't seen it. He said, he, and he said in an interview, he's not, he said, I'm not allowed to watch Rick and Morty, but I-

• 55:23Travis McElroy?

  It's on Adult Swim.

• 55:24Griffin McElroy?

  He said, but I see a lot of like really funny stuff about this guy.

• 55:27Travis McElroy?

  I'm busy studying Thugonomics.

• 55:29Travis McElroy?

  I haven't, I haven't watched it. I asked AI to generate a version of it for me based on what I knew about it.

• 55:36Travis McElroy?

  I saw the T-shirt at Hot Topic and I-

• 55:39Travis McElroy?

  I do like-

• 55:40Travis McElroy?

  So focused on the iconography.

• 55:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. He is a subscriber to the American Journal of Thugonomics because you can't just like learn that shit in 2002 and then-

• 55:50Travis McElroy?

  No, he goes to the conferences.

• 55:52Griffin McElroy?

  Constantly changing.

• 55:53Travis McElroy?

  He reads the articles.

• 55:55Travis McElroy?

  Hey, thank you so much for listening to my brother, my brother, me and a true podcast full of absolutely true stuff.

• 56:03Travis McElroy?

  For grownups.

• 56:04Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 56:04Travis McElroy?

  For dogs.

• 56:05Travis McElroy?

  This is true. On December 6th, we're going to be doing a candlelight show right here in Huntington, West Virginia at 7:00 PM. That includes a virtual stream ticket. If you want that digital premiere of recording the show with bonus behind the scenes footage, that premiere is going to be December 19th at 9:00 PM Eastern through, and you can watch that through January 4th. We'll be in the chat now. Hanging out with you, watching that. All benefits from this show are going to be donated to Harmony House, which seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs. I don't need to tell you how important that is right now. Uh, and, uh, we would really appreciate any support you can provide. Tickets for both of those events are available at bit.ly forward slash candlelights 2025.

• 56:49Travis McElroy?

  Also, uh, if this goes out at noon on Monday, which it normally does, that means that Champions Grove 2026 tickets are on sale right now. So Champions Grove, real quick, the whole pitch is there's a castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio called Ravenwood Castle. It is a castle, hotel, uh, event space. And on Memorial Day weekend, we have rented it out. Uh, me and the Champions Grove folks, and I'm bringing in some, uh, game hosts and, you know, people who do amazing projects in the TTRPG space to run games. You guys come in, we run the games for you. You play games with each other. We have events.

• 57:30Travis McElroy?

  We have fancy dinners. We have all kinds of stuff that you can-

• 57:35Travis McElroy?

  You're gonna meet a bunch of cool people. I went to the first one. It was a delight.

• 57:38Travis McElroy?

  Thank you, Justin. And that's Memorial Day weekend, and we have accommodation packages for two to four people. You rent out the accommodation, and that also is going to give you, when you get the accommodation package, you get access to the event, and then you're going to reserve the hotel room through Ravenwood Castle. You can find out all the information, championsgrove.com. It's there. That's also where you can get the packages. But like I said, it's on sale now, and the spots are limited, so don't wait. Championsgrove.com.

• 58:15Griffin McElroy?

  Two more quick things. I did write a choose your own adventure book. Comes out March 10th next year. It's called The Stowaway. You can preorder that at bit.ly/griffinstowaway. And we also have revealed the cover for the final Adventure Zone graphic novel adaptation, written by us and our dad, illustrated by Kerry Peach, the Adventure Zone story and song. That one comes out on July 14th.

• 58:42Travis McElroy?

  There it is.

• 58:43Griffin McElroy?

  July 14th. And you can preorder that at theadventurezonecomic.com. It's a lot of stuff happening next year. Oh, and thanks to Montane for these for a theme song, My Life is Better With You. It's a great one. Great track.

• 58:56Travis McElroy?

  We got a fear, Trav, that we want to be faster than this year. We started, John Stan, would you like to read that?

• 59:03Travis McElroy?

  This year, I'm gonna go faster than my fear of a large flock of birds coming down and taking me away into the sky forever.

• 59:12Travis McElroy?

  Fair enough.

• 59:13Griffin McElroy?

  Clean, simple, simple and clean.

• 59:16Travis McElroy?

  My name's Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. It's been my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad. Square on the lips.