Ep 631 - B.B.Q. (feat. Joe Derosa)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod WATCH TIRES Season 3 on THURSDAY & Derosa's Special on NETFLIX now! Listen to his pod 'Vile and Horrendous' Go See Matt Live | THURSDAY Late show Added this wknd @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Joe Live @ https://www.joederosa.com/ Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live hello :) Shang's home!! We're in big kahuna HQ. We got the P. I. G. with the D. A. W. G. Z. this week. The vile horrendous ... our dear friend Joseph Derosa. Check out his special available on Netflix now 'I never Promised you a Rose Garden'. Hope you all have a nice week. Please enjoy. God Bless. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, Wes.

• 0:02Matt McCusker?

  Some bullshit.

• 0:04Speaker 00

  You know what? That kid's an odd duck.

• 0:06Matt McCusker?

  La Mer is an odd duck.

• 0:08Speaker 02

  He's a real odd duck, dude.

• 0:09Matt McCusker?

  You brought down his whole mainframe.

• 0:11Speaker 02

  I did. I came home and unplugged everything.

• 0:12Speaker 00

  Yeah. I got a roommate. His name's La Mer. You see, the thing is this. He's an odd duck.

• 0:20Matt McCusker?

  I mean, dude, he's gotta be costing at least, I swear to God, probably 55 bucks a month in paused games.

• 0:26Speaker 02

  He paused.

• 0:27Matt McCusker?

  Pause games alone.

• 0:28Speaker 02

  He paused. He has an entire setup back there. Paused his games and just goes on the road for like a week. I came back, the room's hot. From his mainframe, dude. His servers are constantly.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  You can save wherever you are.

• 0:40Speaker 02

  Literally, the first thing I did when I got home was I just went back and ripped all the plugs out of the outlet. I was like, dude, enough of this.

• 0:46Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  I'm gonna throw all his shit in the pool when he gets home.

• 0:49Matt McCusker?

  It's kind of, yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty wild stuff. His electrical setup was, that was a lot of plugs he showed.

• 0:55Speaker 02

  He's got a moped now. That was just sitting next to the house.

• 0:59Speaker 00

  Where?

• 0:59Speaker 02

  He's got a broken moped here. Like a shitty Vespa just sitting out there. He's like, I'm gonna fix that.

• 1:05Matt McCusker?

  This is meth, this is like meth behavior.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  You are absolutely never gonna fix that.

• 1:08Matt McCusker?

  No. This is meth behavior, dude.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  It is.

• 1:11Matt McCusker?

  This is lots of tinkering.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, but he's, doesn't exhibit meth.

• 1:16Matt McCusker?

  He's not, no, he's certainly not.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  He doesn't do any meth. He does have meth tendencies. He just doesn't do any meth shit.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  If he was on meth, he would have disassembled the moped.

• 1:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, true.

• 1:28Speaker 02

  He constantly plugged in computers.

• 1:29Speaker 00

  Probably be a tad thinner, too.

• 1:31Matt McCusker?

  True. That's rapid weight loss.

• 1:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, and his, his sleeping would not be. He sleeps more than he's awake, for sure.

• 1:40Speaker 00

  Would have sleep apnea.

• 1:40Matt McCusker?

  It's all for show. It's all for show. He's laying there like this, one eye open, just.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  True, he's faking.

• 1:46Matt McCusker?

  Waiting to get back to his plugs in his moped.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  Fake sleep for 15 hours. Fooled them again.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. Jode Rosa.

• 1:57Speaker 00

  What's up dudes? Jode Rosa. Yeah. Jode Rosa. I was just thinking the other day, you haven't, you haven't sung that, you haven't sung that in a while to me.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  I sang it at the beach.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  You did not?

• 2:08Speaker 02

  I did. I remember singing it.

• 2:09Speaker 00

  Yes. All right. Cause that was like your, your song for me.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 2:13Speaker 00

  And I love it too. And I hadn't heard it in a while. If you sang it at the beach, I was very drunk.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  I sang it at the beach. We were in the kitchen. It was in the morning. I remember I was staring at seltzers when I sang it.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  I vividly remember it.

• 2:23Speaker 00

  All right. I love it. I love it.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  I remember. No one, no one really cares about me singing this right now. Everyone's probably annoyed.

• 2:30Matt McCusker?

  Jode Rosa song?

• 2:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:31Matt McCusker?

  That's where you're.

• 2:38Speaker 00

  The.

• 2:38Matt McCusker?

  That was the drive back. Cause that, that was.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  One of the all time bonehead choices.

• 2:42Speaker 00

  Cake. It was cake. It was cake.

• 2:45Speaker 02

  Love cake, dude.

• 2:46Speaker 00

  It was cake. Heard my meals on the ride back.

• 2:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 2:50Speaker 00

  Launched right out of the gate with a KFC. Chicken little, three chicken tenders, uh, and a drumstick.

• 2:57Speaker 02

  Hitting KFC right away?

• 2:59Speaker 00

  Fries. Yeah, about an hour in.

• 3:01Matt McCusker?

  Ready to settle in for 10 hours.

• 3:04Speaker 00

  So that's midday, extra large Arby's sandwich, bag of cool ranch teriyaki.

• 3:09Matt McCusker?

  You eat constantly.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  Do, right? Late night, full of taking it home, Whopper with cheese, bacon, double cheeseburger, fries. Dude, I writ, I was having the time of my life. Oh, and then a king sized bag of Skittles, somewhere in between all that. I had the time of my life driving home, dude. I was just grubbing, man.

• 3:29Matt McCusker?

  What was, what was the bowel movement like after three fast foods?

• 3:33Speaker 00

  Completely normal?

• 3:33Matt McCusker?

  No, stop.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  Your body's just tachmated.

• 3:37Speaker 00

  The, the testosterone takes care of all things.

• 3:42Speaker 02

  Taking tests, eating Arby's. You are the king of the road.

• 3:46Matt McCusker?

  That's awesome. That's actually pretty impressive.

• 3:49Speaker 02

  I like, I like, I mean, the way you deflected the decision making on the drive was impressive.

• 3:54Speaker 00

  Well.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  It was really impressive.

• 3:56Speaker 00

  As we discussed, I made a massive mistake.

• 3:59Speaker 02

  Yes, there are direct, direct flights from Austin to the beach.

• 4:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I did not know that, cause I got travel information from Brian Six.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Okay, you called the bees.

• 4:08Speaker 00

  Beezer.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  And I know how that call went. You're fucked, dude. There's no flights out there. You are fucked, you fucking idiot.

• 4:16Matt McCusker?

  It's just so funny. You can get your phone and be like, are there flights from, and it'll be like, yes, there are. Like, I'm gonna call bees real quick.

• 4:23Speaker 00

  No, no, no, the.

• 4:24Matt McCusker?

  Chatting Google and going to bees is crazy.

• 4:28Speaker 00

  He's my, he's my search engine.

• 4:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 4:30Speaker 00

  Beezer. It just says Beezer instead of Google.

• 4:32Matt McCusker?

  Ass bees.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  Ass bees.

• 4:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. How do you spell this word? Like this, you fucking retard.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Why do you even wanna know?

• 4:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 4:43Speaker 00

  He, uh, he, the, the only thing he told me was the airport, cause I didn't know where the town was. He goes, this is the airport you gotta fly to. So I did go to the internet, but then it was like, no, there's just, there's indirect, there's connecting flights.

• 4:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 4:56Speaker 00

  And then I found out after the fact, there was another airport.

• 4:59Speaker 02

  We'll do this again, but the connecting, the connecting flight argument bothers me as well.

• 5:02Speaker 00

  Nah, I hate a connecting flight. It's brutal. I just did connecting flights last week, cause I had to, cause I had to go to Lafayette and then to Charleston.

• 5:10Speaker 02

  Why don't you drive to Lafayette?

• 5:12Speaker 00

  Because I had to get.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  That's quicker than.

• 5:13Speaker 00

  Cause I had to fly to Charleston and then I had to fly to New York. So to rent a car, it's, it's.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  Now you got it.

• 5:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  But the connecting flight in Dallas or Houston is.

• 5:24Matt McCusker?

  It's gaga, yeah.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  It's crazy. To drive, how long was the drive? And don't lie.

• 5:29Speaker 00

  12 hours.

• 5:31Speaker 00

  12 hours. Like a G.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  So stupid. It's less than a two hour flight.

• 5:36Speaker 00

  Dude, I rode the shoulder.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  It's like an hour and 40 minute flight direct.

• 5:40Speaker 00

  I didn't know. We gotta take the directs off the table.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  We're at the beach and he's like, fucking six fucked me on this. I'm so pissed at him. I was like, dude, what are you talking about? It's all you. This is all you.

• 5:52Speaker 00

  No, I didn't know.

• 5:53Speaker 02

  I won't get into the DM argument. I will not. I would love to get into it.

• 5:59Speaker 00

  I promise, I promise, I'm glad you brought that up. I promise you, I'll tap out if you promise the same. I'm very curious on a, a new party's opinion. If they agree with.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  You're not gonna believe how every single person agrees.

• 6:09Speaker 00

  If they agree with you, I will tap out. I will not argue.

• 6:12Speaker 02

  I'm saying 99% agree.

• 6:15Speaker 00

  But if they agree with me, will you tap out? Can we make that agreement?

• 6:17Speaker 02

  I promise.

• 6:18Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  Here, here's the, here's, we'll just lay it out like this. I was saying, if you respond to a girl's story on Instagram, that goes to her as a DM. And what I was saying was, yes, it's a DM, but it's not the same thing as DMing her. So in other words, Nate.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  Hold on, hold on. I'd like you to start that over and repeat exactly what you said for the record. Yes, it's a DM. So you're DMing her, but it's not DMing her.

• 6:47Speaker 00

  No, no, but it's not the same.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  Now, what world are we living in?

• 6:50Speaker 00

  What, what world are we living in? Give an example of what I mean, the difference is. It's still a DM, but Nate or Sean, you got girls. If your girl posts something funny, right? And I go, ha, ha, that's really funny. Turn the story and then that sends it towards a DM.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  Now you're friends with her already.

• 7:07Speaker 00

  Versus if I just sent your girl a DM.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Let's just go with the real scenario, not these hypotheticals.

• 7:14Speaker 00

  It was a girl that was interesting.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  No, this is somebody you know.

• 7:16Speaker 00

  It was a.

• 7:17Speaker 02

  If I respond to Sean's girlfriend's story, obviously I'm not sliding into her DMs flirting with her.

• 7:21Speaker 00

  Right. It was, it was a girl I was, it was a girl was definitely interesting.

• 7:24Matt McCusker?

  Also, this is kinda turning me on, you guys talking about DM in the room.

• 7:29Speaker 00

  But my question is, is there, is there a difference between sliding into a girl's DMs versus responding to her story that, that she receives as a DM? I said, yes, there's a bit of a difference there.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 7:41Matt McCusker?

  Also, knowing, knowing the person, I think's the big difference between that.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  I didn't know the person. Well, I knew her, I knew her cause we followed each other. That's it.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  Well, who followed who first?

• 7:51Speaker 00

  I followed her first.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  Thank you. Now.

• 7:53Speaker 00

  She followed me right back.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  Let's go with.

• 7:54Speaker 00

  Followed me right back.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  Let's go with, yeah, and then you slid into her DMs, which is appropriate. I don't think that's, it's, it's wild.

• 8:01Speaker 00

  You did start with.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Okay, we can do that too, if you want. I'd love to discuss that as well.

• 8:08Speaker 00

  You, you back off now. No, you be nice. You be nice.

• 8:12Matt McCusker?

  There's a matter, there's a matter that's sealed to the record.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Hold on. So this is how it starts. He shows me somebody he likes on Instagram. I say, you should talk to her. He said, ah, we're, we're talking a little. I said, you followed her first. He said, yeah. And then I said, you, you slid into her DMs?

• 8:31Matt McCusker?

  I didn't slide into her DMs, dude. I replied to a story. It tells you, it says, what do you think about this story? She was asking.

• 8:41Speaker 00

  I didn't say she was asking, but I did say, but I did say, you're responding to the story as a little.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  Responding to a story is sliding into a DM.

• 8:48Speaker 00

  And I disagree with that. I think sliding to the DMs, I think sending a DM like, hey, what's going on is very different from a DM from replying to a story.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  What was the reply?

• 8:57Speaker 00

  This is funny? I don't know. It was something lit, it was something benign.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  You have your telephone on?

• 9:02Speaker 00

  No, I do not.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  Your telephone is in this room.

• 9:06Speaker 00

  No, it's not. Left it at home.

• 9:12Matt McCusker?

  What was he?

• 9:12Speaker 02

  He told me not to bring my fucking phone out.

• 9:15Matt McCusker?

  Was, was he, was the post really like a poll like, hey, guys, what do you think?

• 9:19Speaker 00

  No, no, no. It was just, it was like, it was like, it was like a funny story where it was like, what do you guys think? And I was like, ah, that's funny or whatever.

• 9:26Matt McCusker?

  Right. What was your, what were your intentions?

• 9:29Speaker 00

  Oh, you know what? I actually do remember what I said. I actually do remember what I said.

• 9:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 9:33Speaker 00

  She, I, I wrote, this is awesome.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  You know what his intentions are.

• 9:37Speaker 00

  I wrote, this is awesome.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Yeah. You're trying to spark up a conversation.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  This is awesome.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  This is awesome.

• 9:46Speaker 00

  All right. This is righteous.

• 9:47Speaker 02

  Joe.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  Joe, pretending you're not sliding into the DMs is crazy.

• 9:54Speaker 00

  Hold on.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  Why are you acting like you're not?

• 9:57Speaker 00

  Do you guys agree there's a difference between a story DM and a, and a direct just out of the blue?

• 10:03Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 10:03Speaker 00

  That's the only question.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  That's his question. My question is regardless, is it sliding into the DMs?

• 10:07Matt McCusker?

  There is a difference and it is sliding into the DMs. It's not as.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 10:11Speaker 00

  We both, we both.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. But all I never said there was a difference. I said it was sliding into the DMs. It is what it is.

• 10:16Speaker 00

  And I never said it wasn't a DM. I just said there was a difference.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  You said it was sliding into the DMs.

• 10:20Speaker 00

  Let's bump mics.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 10:22Speaker 00

  Hey, come on, see, this is the problem, dude.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  No, it's not a problem.

• 10:25Speaker 00

  You're gonna.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  You're trying to take a win here because this is the craziest argument.

• 10:29Speaker 00

  I'm trying to take a win. I'm trying to say we both were a little bit right.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  You'd be, you'd settle with a draw right now.

• 10:33Speaker 00

  I would.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  I would not say this is unconditional surrender.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  I need unconditional surrender.

• 10:39Speaker 00

  Truly.

• 10:40Matt McCusker?

  Has anything come about the message? Has the, has the message?

• 10:47Matt McCusker?

  Has the message yielded any more fruit? Have you guys, has that?

• 10:50Speaker 00

  No, it was, it was, it was a while ago and it was, it was not, it was not a recent thing. It was a while ago. But we were talking about it and I said to him, we were just, we were just talking about it.

• 11:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:01Speaker 00

  And I was like, ah, and then X, Y, and Z.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  Well, it was simple. I said, I would never do that.

• 11:06Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  I said, I would never slide into.

• 11:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, DMs. You got you.

• 11:11Matt McCusker?

  I didn't slide into a DMs.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  Yes, you did. End of discussion.

• 11:15Speaker 00

  Now, in my defense.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  End of discussion.

• 11:18Speaker 00

  You know, Matt, you know, as well as I do.

• 11:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 11:22Speaker 00

  He's coming in with.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  An argument.

• 11:26Speaker 00

  He's coming in to push buttons.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're sitting.

• 11:28Speaker 00

  So he starts with, he starts with, I would never do that, dude. I would never do that.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Well, that's a funny thing to say.

• 11:34Speaker 00

  Immediately you're on the defense. What did I do? I didn't, I just responded to her story.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  Edit this. Edit this.

• 11:43Matt McCusker?

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• 13:19Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 13:20Speaker 00

  It was one of those things that was like, it was so, like such a frivolous conversation.

• 13:25Matt McCusker?

  We're talking, we're talking ancient, we're talking ancient history anyway.

• 13:29Speaker 02

  There's water under the bridge.

• 13:31Speaker 00

  It got so fucked.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  You got so defensive so fast.

• 13:35Speaker 00

  You come in.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  I love that. That's like, while we were hanging out at the beach, I like a good argument.

• 13:39Speaker 00

  I know you do.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  It's funny.

• 13:40Speaker 00

  I know you do. And I'm literally there like, I just want to relax. And you're like, no, let's argue. That's how you relax.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it's not how I relax. If somebody says something silly like that, I'm not, I'm not going to let it go.

• 13:55Speaker 00

  And Pope, Pope's a little rat ass dude. Pope is a fucking rat.

• 14:01Matt McCusker?

  What'd he do?

• 14:02Speaker 00

  Pope, Pope the whole time, the whole time Shane's sitting there, he's going, he's going, Derosa, shut the fuck up. You're wrong. Right, right? Soon as you walked away, he's like, dude, you know Shane does this and you know, he rolled over on you immediately, dude. Immediately, that fucking rat.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  Especially he did it a few days later.

• 14:25Speaker 00

  What'd he do?

• 14:25Speaker 02

  He started, he got a little beach argument going.

• 14:27Speaker 00

  Oh, what about what?

• 14:28Speaker 02

  I wasn't there. I wish I was. I raced down to the beach.

• 14:30Speaker 00

  I would, that was the day I wasn't there. What was?

• 14:31Speaker 02

  As soon as I found out about the beach argument.

• 14:33Matt McCusker?

  What was, what was, what was?

• 14:35Speaker 02

  I got my sun shirt on and I ran down.

• 14:38Speaker 00

  What was Pope's beach argument?

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Uh, that you shouldn't give college football players college degrees because they're useless.

• 14:49Speaker 02

  But he was like, I only care about real football, pro football.

• 14:53Matt McCusker?

  Just his ankles fully buried in the sand.

• 14:58Speaker 00

  These fucking things.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  Great.

• 15:00Speaker 00

  Can we talk about those fucking things that Tommy drank at the beach?

• 15:04Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 15:05Matt McCusker?

  Oh, the buzz ball looking things?

• 15:08Speaker 00

  It was the worst thing I've literally ever tasted in my life. And he said that they were delicious. It was crazy. And drank not one, but four of them.

• 15:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 15:18Speaker 00

  They were like 85.

• 15:20Matt McCusker?

  They were rough. Those things were rough.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. Pope put on a clinic.

• 15:25Speaker 00

  On a real clinic, our first night.

• 15:30Speaker 00

  Can we discuss night one?

• 15:31Speaker 02

  We can't.

• 15:31Speaker 00

  No.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  He asked us not to, but.

• 15:34Speaker 00

  All right, all right. He was fucking.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  Mid fucking ranking seltzer. We're sitting out by the, we're the three of us, me, Pope and Derosa are in chairs looking at the fucking full moon.

• 15:49Speaker 00

  Beautiful.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  It was so beautiful.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  Beautiful. So serene. It was quiet. You heard the ocean, just the sound of the ocean.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  Sitting there going, I'll tell you, it goes high noons. Okay. Neutrals.

• 16:00Speaker 00

  He put Trulies first.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Truly, no.

• 16:03Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 16:04Matt McCusker?

  He didn't put Trulies first.

• 16:06Speaker 00

  He put Truly.

• 16:07Matt McCusker?

  He wasn't in his right mind.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  No one's asking him for a ranking. No one even, no, he's, he's doing this ranking by himself, unprovoked.

• 16:13Matt McCusker?

  He's looking at the heavenly bodies and he's going.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  He's going, what are the rankings of the seltzers?

• 16:17Matt McCusker?

  Goddamn, high noons are so good.

• 16:20Speaker 00

  He goes, Truly, Surfside, High Noon. And I go, wait, true. Cause I thought, I was like, I must be misremembering what Truly is.

• 16:28Matt McCusker?

  He was doing a countdown, maybe.

• 16:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. No, no. He was saying they were, he was saying Truly.

• 16:32Matt McCusker?

  It might be like a Copernican revolution.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  It was.

• 16:34Matt McCusker?

  It could have been the Copernican revolution.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  We burned him at the stake.

• 16:36Speaker 00

  He burnt Tommy.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  We said it's not right.

• 16:39Matt McCusker?

  Stars. And he said, hold on a second. I have an idea. Like Truly's the best seltzer there are.

• 16:44Speaker 00

  He's standing at the sink. He's just standing at the sink in the house. He just goes, ah, Christ. Pulls up the fucking Surfside.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  That was the best.

• 16:53Speaker 00

  Yeah. Dude, I do a shot with him. We're in the kitchen.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  This is incredible.

• 16:56Speaker 00

  We're in the kitchen. I go, Tommy, let's do a shot. He goes, yeah, yeah. Aggressive for no reason. Yeah, we're going to do a fucking shot. Yeah. I'm like, all right. It was my idea.

• 17:07Matt McCusker?

  He's just peer pressing you now.

• 17:09Speaker 00

  Dude, I pour a shot. He pours one. It's dude, it is like, it is a gulp. I go, bro, it's a massive shot. He goes, yeah, yeah, whatever, man. Cause I'm a fucking man. We see him. He takes a fucking, he takes a fucking Truly or whatever it is. Pours it in a glass, dumps vodka on top of it.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  He goes, holy shit, dude. He putting vodka in there? What's it called? A splitter?

• 17:36Speaker 00

  Yeah. He goes, he goes, yeah, it's a cutter. He goes, it cuts it. So he goes like this. I swear to God, he takes a shot. He fucking bangs it, takes a sip of the thing and he goes, ah, Jesus Christ. Grabs a third drink of Surfside from here and then just starts it. We were like, what are you doing?

• 17:55Speaker 02

  Four different drinks in, I don't even think he took a breath.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  He goes, ah, Jesus Christ.

• 18:03Matt McCusker?

  How's this chase?

• 18:05Speaker 00

  Dude, we go to bed. We're all just like, fuck, I'm hammered. I gotta go to bed. Going to my room. He comes running out of his room. Like, what are you doing? He goes, I'm going to go get a piece of pizza and have some vodka.

• 18:19Speaker 00

  Bees are at one point had just hammered, they're both watching Intervention.

• 18:23Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 18:24Speaker 00

  Look at these losers.

• 18:27Matt McCusker?

  I do like watching them at the end of the day, just both chill.

• 18:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:30Matt McCusker?

  And just watch like A and E for a little bit.

• 18:33Speaker 00

  Dude, my last day there, I went on an adventure with Bees are dude, we had the.

• 18:38Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:39Speaker 00

  We had the best fucking time, man.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  Bees and Derosa are land lovers for sure. Certified. Major land lovers.

• 18:45Matt McCusker?

  Bees are trying to change the narrative.

• 18:47Speaker 02

  He did.

• 18:47Matt McCusker?

  He was like Poseidon out there, dude. He went out, he went out so fucking far.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  It was like, dude, is it true? You can't swim?

• 18:54Speaker 00

  He's like, what the fuck are you talking about? You fuckers want to see me swim here?

• 19:00Matt McCusker?

  Also too, like we would say it all the time and then out of, he went, he came in unannounced and all of a sudden I turned, I was like, is that fucking Bees are? He just, he went out like a hundred yards out into the ocean, was just splashing around.

• 19:12Speaker 00

  You guys went down the day he got there and I was like, I'm just gonna hang back. I'll meet up with Bees, we'll come down.

• 19:20Speaker 00

  I was waiting for him. I had a couple fucking surf sides, whatever the fuck they're called while I was waiting for him. He showed up, he starts cracking them. We start banging shots. He's like, the beach is fucking gay, dude. Let's go to the bar.

• 19:33Matt McCusker?

  He hates the beach.

• 19:34Speaker 00

  Alright, we went to this bar, dude, we're in this bar.

• 19:37Matt McCusker?

  It's so funny to fly to the beach all day and they're like, fuck, beach is gay as hell.

• 19:43Speaker 00

  We're in this bar, just fucking, we start swaying. I'm like, dude, I go, I, I can't tell this, fuck. Never mind. I can't tell the story.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  It's fine.

• 19:54Speaker 00

  I don't think, or can I?

• 19:55Speaker 02

  It's probably about you guys doing drugs or something.

• 19:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:58Speaker 00

  It's about Addys.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, you guys can talk about Addys.

• 20:01Speaker 00

  Talk about Addys, right?

• 20:02Matt McCusker?

  He has a legal prescription, dude.

• 20:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:05Speaker 00

  You guys are, so we took, we popped a five milli before we left the house. We get to this bar, we're like fucked up in this bar. Bees are gets two orders of, uh.

• 20:17Speaker 00

  What's that, what's that shrimp called? Like Bing Ping Ping Pao shrimp?

• 20:23Matt McCusker?

  Bang Bang?

• 20:24Speaker 00

  Huh?

• 20:24Matt McCusker?

  Was it Bang Bang shrimp?

• 20:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, Bang Bang shrimp. He gets two orders of it. He couses the first one and they bring another one. He's like, that shit's good, dude. He eats a whole other order of it. I'm like, bro, I'm flying on Addys right now. I don't even know how you're eating, right? I go in the bathroom, we, he's like, let's go to this other bar. I go in the bathroom. It's gonna be a 25 minute drive to this other bar. I go in the bathroom, I'm swaying again. I take another five milli to try to wake up. I walk out of the bathroom, I go, Bees, I had to take another fiver. He goes, bro, I just gave you a 10. I go, no, you didn't. He goes, yes, you did. You just took it. And I was like, oh shit. Well, we're gonna be in for a ride.

• 21:04Matt McCusker?

  There's probably no shrimp. You guys are probably just munching Adderall on the bar.

• 21:07Speaker 00

  There's no chance.

• 21:08Matt McCusker?

  These are good.

• 21:09Speaker 00

  Went to the next bar.

• 21:11Matt McCusker?

  You forgot you took the.

• 21:12Speaker 00

  Chopping it, I forgot, just chopping it up with a 62 year old lady.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  Called you at the bar.

• 21:18Matt McCusker?

  Like, we called you when we got back from the beach. You were still at the bar, you're like, I'm coming back, man. And I was like, oh my God, Derosa, you fucking dirtbag, don't come back.

• 21:29Matt McCusker?

  That was a tough one when you came back. Dude, that one we'll keep to ourselves.

• 21:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a little messy.

• 21:40Matt McCusker?

  Say I entered his room unannounced.

• 21:45Speaker 00

  I don't give a fuck.

• 21:46Matt McCusker?

  That's just high tea.

• 21:47Speaker 00

  I went up to the room to whack one out.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  You were in your room for fucking three hours, dude. You jacked on to Adderall.

• 21:53Matt McCusker?

  That's understandable. That, you know, balance the Adderall.

• 21:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 21:56Speaker 00

  I had to whack one out. Shane just opens the door. I'm like, what are you doing, dude? Get out of here. I was so calm.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  He's extremely calm.

• 22:04Matt McCusker?

  He was stimfapping.

• 22:05Speaker 02

  He was completely stimfapping.

• 22:06Matt McCusker?

  Completely stimfapping.

• 22:07Speaker 02

  And then he goes. Actual stimfap.

• 22:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it was.

• 22:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, I guess go, get out of here, dude. And he's like, alright, closes the door, he peeks his head back, he goes, I won't tell anybody, dude. I go, okay, thanks. Immediately goes downstairs, tells everybody. I mean, just what a fucking scumbag, dude.

• 22:23Matt McCusker?

  I'm the scumbag? You fucking stimfapping?

• 22:25Speaker 00

  I was in my own room!

• 22:26Matt McCusker?

  You stimfapped for three hours.

• 22:27Speaker 00

  I was in the privacy of my own room.

• 22:30Matt McCusker?

  And it's that is sacred about, you're in your own.

• 22:34Speaker 02

  I knocked first.

• 22:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I was like, beat it.

• 22:37Matt McCusker?

  Come in.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  I gave you enough time to cover up.

• 22:40Speaker 00

  Get out of here.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  I knocked long enough.

• 22:42Speaker 00

  I didn't think you were just gonna walk in, man.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, figured you'd lock it if you were stimfapping.

• 22:46Speaker 00

  Shane had a football.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  On the door.

• 22:48Matt McCusker?

  Shane had a football, I wanted to play catch with you on the beach, you're like, get the fuck out of my room.

• 22:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, I wanted to hang out.

• 22:52Speaker 00

  I came back down.

• 22:53Matt McCusker?

  You did?

• 22:54Speaker 00

  I did what I had to do.

• 22:54Matt McCusker?

  Bravely too, that's, that's brave. I would have, might have, I might have curled up and like, I'll.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  Might have hit the drive immediately.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  Just stimfapped, got caught stimfapping on.

• 23:03Speaker 00

  What's stimfapping?

• 23:04Speaker 02

  It's when you take stimulants and jack off.

• 23:09Matt McCusker?

  It's kinda like meth sex, but it's just more private, obviously.

• 23:14Matt McCusker?

  It's more personal.

• 23:15Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, I get, I get, if I pop an Addy or two, I get, I get kinda horned up.

• 23:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's the thing. People, yeah, people get horned up.

• 23:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, God knows what I said to the 62 year old woman.

• 23:27Speaker 00

  I was probably like, you wanna get married, babe? You're beautiful.

• 23:33Matt McCusker?

  I can take you out of here. I can save you.

• 23:35Speaker 00

  I could save you from all this.

• 23:37Matt McCusker?

  We're going to Arby's.

• 23:40Matt McCusker?

  It's gonna be a 15 hour.

• 23:41Speaker 00

  She's like, what are you talking about? I'm rich. I'm loaded, dude. Yeah, the, uh, it was a fun trip, man.

• 23:48Matt McCusker?

  It's a great beach. That beach is a, truly a gem.

• 23:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:51Matt McCusker?

  Airport's having trouble too, cause it's been, they're like travelers and vacationers have doubled in one year. So it was like a million people, now they had two million, something like that, two million people this season. So.

• 24:02Speaker 00

  Really?

• 24:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Bees, the Bees wasn't completely lying. That airport is kind of a clusterfuck.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  Oh, for sure.

• 24:08Matt McCusker?

  That airport was, oh my God, dude.

• 24:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:10Matt McCusker?

  Getting in, I had to rent a car. They do the, I didn't know car rental places still did this where like you go to the desk and they just like wait, they hand you a key. Usually you just get to go to the thing and be like, hey, they like, yeah, just go get your car and there's a key in it. But they like had to go fish out a key and give you, it took, I, I had four people ahead of me and it took, I swear to God, like 35 minutes.

• 24:30Speaker 00

  That sucks.

• 24:30Matt McCusker?

  It's insane.

• 24:31Speaker 00

  That's the problem. That's like when you go to Key West, it's the best time, but the only part that sucks is, and they've got a new airport, but even their new airport is still, you know.

• 24:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 24:41Speaker 00

  It's not an international airport.

• 24:43Matt McCusker?

  Also.

• 24:43Speaker 00

  So you get like, or maybe it is, but you know what I mean? It's small. But my point is, is like, those trips are the kind of places where at the end of the week, you're like, I have to get the fuck home. I'm just like sunstroked, I've been drinking every day.

• 24:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 24:59Speaker 00

  And you go into one of those airports and you're like, God damn it, man, this sucks right now.

• 25:04Matt McCusker?

  The elderly are fucking brutal at airports.

• 25:07Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. They get up like, they're there, they get there four hours before the flight. And then as soon as like, it's like, hey, we're gonna start boarding soon. They all fucking get up with their shit stained pants and all blocked. It's like, dude, get the fuck out of the way.

• 25:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:19Matt McCusker?

  They get real, they get really aggressive.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  Those vaca, the vacation spots, all families. So the airport was just packed with kids screaming and shit. It was a nightmare.

• 25:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 25:28Speaker 02

  It was hot. The internet didn't work. It was tough.

• 25:31Matt McCusker?

  That sucks.

• 25:32Speaker 00

  When I'm the, when I'm in an airport and a full fa, like, when you're like approaching the, you know, like, like, like, let's say you're both approaching the security thing. Where they, where you have to check your ID or whatever at the same time. If I'm approaching the same time as a family and the family takes the lead in, I, dude, I get audible. I'll literally be like.

• 25:56Matt McCusker?

  You should.

• 25:57Speaker 00

  I, I'm like, fuck you, dude.

• 25:59Matt McCusker?

  It's gonna take forever for them to all get through.

• 26:00Speaker 00

  Dude, some moron fucking dad trying to fit the stroller through the fucking security. I saw a guy try to put it through the x-ray machine once.

• 26:07Matt McCusker?

  Bro.

• 26:08Speaker 00

  I, dude, I was like, I, I'll literally start being like, bro.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  There's a metal detector.

• 26:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's, I, I can't, dude, I can't with that shit.

• 26:17Matt McCusker?

  Sometimes they try to force you to put it through the x-ray too, which is weird. The people there are like, put it through, like, it's not gonna fit. And they're like, you have to put it through. And you do it and it breaks and they're just like, I'm sorry. You're like, what the fuck? Yeah, they, they should let you go ahead, man. If, if you're like a family of four and there's one person, it's like, please, cause it's gonna take for fucking ever to get all of that shit up. Your kids are like crying and you're like, hold on, get over, it takes, it takes all day.

• 26:40Speaker 00

  There was a dude in front of me, um, so I was flying out of JFK and I was on Delta, so I was, I went to the Delta lounge, but they have another one called the Delta One.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're not allowed in there.

• 26:55Speaker 00

  No, I'm not. Yeah, you're right. It's for.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  I know.

• 26:58Speaker 00

  International or something?

• 26:59Speaker 02

  Uh, it's like LA and international.

• 27:00Speaker 00

  Okay. So I just didn't know what it was. So I went in and I was just like, I don't know if I can get in here or not, but I'm just gonna see what it is. There was a dude in front of me. The lady's like, yeah, sir, you don't have access to here. And he's like, but I'm flying to Mexico. And she's like, yeah, Mexico doesn't count. And he's like, but it says right here, international. And she goes, yeah, but it doesn't count. He goes, but I'm flying to Mexico. And she goes, I know, Mexico and Canada don't count. You, you have to be international. And he, dude, I swear to God, he goes, turns.

• 27:32Speaker 00

  But it says international, dude, I, as loud as I could, I went, like that, I did the, I did the.

• 27:40Speaker 00

  And then I went.

• 27:41Matt McCusker?

  You went horrible.

• 27:42Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:43Speaker 02

  Hit him with all the black noises.

• 27:45Speaker 00

  Like that?

• 27:48Speaker 00

  Fucking dude didn't even flinch. The psycho didn't even flinch.

• 27:51Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 27:52Speaker 00

  And then finally he leaves and I go, miss, I'm, I'm able to get in here? She goes, where are you going? I go, Austin. She goes, no, it's international. I go, okay. And then I turned and I go, see how fast I accepted it? And she goes, thank you. Yeah, I was like, yeah, that job sucks.

• 28:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I can see, you could be the guy, you could be that other guy going, but it says international.

• 28:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  Am I, am I crazy or is Mexico part of America?

• 28:14Speaker 00

  I'm a redeemed.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  What are we talking about?

• 28:15Speaker 00

  I'm a redeemed man saying that's who I was.

• 28:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 28:19Speaker 00

  And now I fight the crime.

• 28:20Matt McCusker?

  Look how far I've come.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  But you slid into the girl's DMs.

• 28:27Speaker 02

  We're flying to a story of sliding into the DM.

• 28:28Matt McCusker?

  They get aggressive with that, though.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  First, first DM encounter? That's literally textbook sliding.

• 28:33Matt McCusker?

  You take it easy now.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  I'm chill.

• 28:37Speaker 00

  Wait, speaking of, speaking of arguments.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  Let me hear it.

• 28:40Speaker 00

  I wanna, I was not present for this, but I would love to reopen this can of worms.

• 28:46Matt McCusker?

  Led Zeppelin or Metallica U2?

• 28:49Speaker 00

  Defended U2 against the.

• 28:50Matt McCusker?

  It was real. Okay, here was the real argument. It was November rain versus Enter Sandman. I was really arguing Guns N' Roses were better than Metallica and I got so high on my horse. I was like, dude, U2's better than Metallica.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  Uh, I think it might've started U2, Metallica, but you were not involved in that.

• 29:08Matt McCusker?

  I don't know.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  And then you got involved in.

• 29:11Matt McCusker?

  I think I started U2, yeah. I said, I remember, I remembered it being kind of like a, I went on a very confident branch. I was like, U2's better than Metallica.

• 29:19Speaker 00

  But you're, it was weird when you were explaining to me the argument, you, you sounded like you were Team Metallica. Cause you go, dude, they said that, uh, the Edge was better than Kirk Hammett. And I was like, there's no fucking.

• 29:31Matt McCusker?

  That was Billy. You're getting me mistaken with my.

• 29:33Speaker 00

  Oh, Billy was saying that.

• 29:34Matt McCusker?

  Billy was Metallica.

• 29:35Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 29:36Matt McCusker?

  Billy, and I, I threw the, I didn't know much about the, I don't know much about U2, but I didn't, I threw Edge out there. I'm like, he's probably nasty guitar. I, I pulled up a.

• 29:43Speaker 00

  It's terrible.

• 29:44Matt McCusker?

  Compilation of like his greatest solos. I was like, god damn it. Sucked. It was so bad.

• 29:49Speaker 00

  It's terrible. U2's got some great songs. I mean.

• 29:51Matt McCusker?

  That's my argument.

• 29:53Speaker 00

  But against Metallica, not.

• 29:55Matt McCusker?

  I don't think Metallica's that good. I really don't.

• 29:56Speaker 00

  I'll put Metallica over G and R. I love.

• 29:58Matt McCusker?

  You're wearing all black. You're biased. You're a lord of metal.

• 30:03Speaker 02

  It's true.

• 30:04Speaker 00

  Bono wears all black. That's all he wears. The Edge. Edge is wearing a black ski hat in like July all the time.

• 30:10Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 30:11Speaker 00

  The, um, I'll put Metallica over, over G and R.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  No, that was, you missed a good argument. That one got heated.

• 30:16Matt McCusker?

  It was fun. That was, that was.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  I tapped out. I went to bed and then heard everyone screaming downstairs.

• 30:21Matt McCusker?

  It was, it was also.

• 30:22Speaker 00

  How hot did O'Connor get?

• 30:23Speaker 02

  O'Connor was great. He was, he was hot by himself. He started the Prince argument just alone. No one was even talking to him. And he would just be like, Weezer, better than Prince. And we'd be like, who the fuck are you talking to?

• 30:38Matt McCusker?

  That argument turned O'Connor homeless for like two hours. He was just like, fuck you. Uh, he started naming just random bands from the nineties. Cause he looked up, he was like, there's 2,000 bands better than Prince. Then he just looked up bands from the two thousands, thinking he had a list of 2,000 better bands.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  He just looked at the top bands of the two thousands on Wikipedia and just went through and named them.

• 30:58Speaker 00

  Connor is batshit.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  He is batshit, dude.

• 31:01Speaker 00

  O'Connor's batshit. I, I made fun of him about this on Stuff Island. This is a real argument he made to us. We were in Westchester.

• 31:10Speaker 00

  We were, I forget the bar we're at, but anyway, um, who's me, Shane, Jamie Lynn Siegler.

• 31:17Speaker 02

  Oh, this is a great argument. This is a great argument.

• 31:20Speaker 00

  Connor is fucking trash. This is the night O'Connor ordered McDonald's twice in a row because he forgot. And had the same order on his fucking steps twice.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  We were at Square Bar. He, he lived across the street.

• 31:33Speaker 00

  Yeah. And, uh, O'Connor goes.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  He would leave and get McDonald's off his step.

• 31:39Speaker 00

  Flat out, O'Connor goes, name any fucking movie I can defend it. No reason, no reason, right? And I go, any movie? He goes, yeah. I go, Young Einstein. He goes, that ain't a fucking movie, dude.

• 31:56Speaker 00

  I go, yes, it is. He goes, it's not a fucking real movie, dude. I start pulling it up. I'm showing it to him. And he's going, that's fucking horseshit. It's not real. And then just walks out.

• 32:11Speaker 02

  He had a good one that night. I forget exactly what it was. He was trying to name a song, I think. And he was like, you know the song? Boom, boom, clap. Numma, numma, numma, numma, numma, numma, numma. He was like, you guys know that, right? We're like, yeah, of course. And he was like, fuck, I was thinking of a different song.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  Saying, we will rock you. Probably his shit fit.

• 32:34Matt McCusker?

  Him shouting over, I remember I started that argument, kind of fanning the flames, like laughing. And then I, I instantly just got pulled into it. Next thing I know, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

• 32:42Speaker 00

  Dude, we were, we were drunk in Mitzi's one night and we started talking about Star Wars. And he's like, it all sucks except Andor. And I was like, I know you love Andor. It's fine, man. Whatever. And, uh, and then we start talking about the prequels and he goes, they were dog shit. He goes, they were dog shit. I go, Revenge of the Sith rips, dude. He goes, it's fucking sucks. And he goes, I go, it's better than Return of the Jedi. He goes, Return of the Jedi is a fucking masterpiece, right? I go, the Ewoks blow. He goes, the Ewoks fucking rule, dude, right? It's my favorite O'Connor line of all time. I go, they don't rule and it was supposed to be a planet of Wookiees.

• 33:26Speaker 00

  And that would have been so much fucking cooler to see the Wookiees, yeah, fight the fucking empire. And that's why they did it in, in Revenge of the Sith. And he just, kind of just goes, the Wookiees are a fucking embarrassment.

• 33:42Matt McCusker?

  Dead ass.

• 33:43Speaker 02

  Totally dead serious.

• 33:44Matt McCusker?

  Dead serious, dude.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  Dead serious.

• 33:48Speaker 02

  He gets so serious.

• 33:51Matt McCusker?

  I was like, I don't even know what you're talking about, dude.

• 33:55Speaker 02

  He would literally be like despondent. He'd be like, the Wookiees are a fucking embarrassment.

• 33:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:04Matt McCusker?

  Somehow triggered.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  I get really upset. And then I, I'm not paying attention. I'm like, what are you upset about, dude? He's like, fucking Wookiees.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  You need to fucking chill, whatever's going on.

• 34:19Speaker 00

  Holy shit, dude. It's so funny, man.

• 34:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. You love a good argument.

• 34:23Speaker 00

  I love it.

• 34:24Speaker 02

  Love a good argument.

• 34:24Speaker 00

  I love it.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  You just don't like being the one who's screaming about Wookiees.

• 34:30Speaker 00

  I, I love a good argument, but I do get, I do get, damn dude, I'm crying from that. Holy shit. Okay. It's so funny. I'm as much of a lunatic as O'Connor, but, but, but in a slightly different emotional way.

• 34:43Speaker 02

  You got, you were quick to get defensive. It was you, me and Tommy. Weird to be, you got very defensive and you're like, I know what you're doing. You're gonna start, you're all gonna gang up on me. You're gonna do this. It's like, Joe, just relax.

• 34:55Speaker 00

  Blizzard been in the thread all day being like, fuck you, you piece of shit.

• 34:59Matt McCusker?

  I really thought someone else had his phone. I was like, there's no way.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  Uncharacteristic of the Blizzard, man.

• 35:04Speaker 00

  Why is Blizzard coming at me?

• 35:06Speaker 02

  I was, I was. In the group text was just like, fuck Teresa, fucking piece of shit.

• 35:10Matt McCusker?

  I hope Joe dies. It was brutal.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. Joe was on the beach like, dude, I know he's joking around, but like, that's like weird, dude. I'm gonna like talk to him tomorrow.

• 35:21Speaker 00

  It was kind of weird.

• 35:22Matt McCusker?

  I mean, it was funny.

• 35:23Speaker 00

  And then B's started coming in at me and then you were coming at me.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  I wasn't coming at you.

• 35:27Speaker 00

  The second Tommy was like, yeah, Joe changed, right? I was like this, fuck everybody right now.

• 35:34Matt McCusker?

  And that was, you're saying that was just the group chat before even going there?

• 35:37Speaker 00

  The night before, it started with B's calling me Bertha and that fucking just rubbed me the wrong fucking way.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  There's a tropical storm. That was gonna hit. So he's called Teresa Bertha. But if you get mad at getting called Bertha, you're getting called Bertha.

• 35:57Speaker 00

  No, no, no. I know. I know. I know. It wasn't, I wasn't mad at, at him calling me Bertha. I was mad that I, I made a joke that I was trying to be funny with the group. Where I said, I said, I just drove, I go, I woke up at 4 a.m. I started driving at six. It's 7 p.m. I just got to the house. And Shane and Tommy are asleep. This is super fun. It was just a joke.

• 36:17Matt McCusker?

  That was funny.

• 36:17Speaker 00

  Like, god damn it. And then B's goes, I just walked past a homeless guy spraying shit against the wall. Why don't you fucking calm down, Bertha? And I was like, what the fuck? Trying to like be funny. It gets just funny that I got here and they're asleep. Like.

• 36:33Matt McCusker?

  It was, that made me chuckle. I saw that. I'm like, that's really funny to drive 13 hours.

• 36:36Speaker 00

  Could've used a ha ha. Could've used a ha ha. Could've used some support in the thread, bro.

• 36:42Speaker 00

  I'm out there spinning. And then, and then Blizzard starts just being like, you piece of shit, I hope you fucking die. What the fuck is going on?

• 36:52Matt McCusker?

  Dude, that's, yeah, that really threw me off. I was like, what is, what did I miss?

• 36:56Speaker 02

  It was very odd that Blizzard was fired up. He's usually.

• 36:58Speaker 00

  Blizzard and I as like privately as a joke tweet, like we fuck, you know, we send these texts back and forth. But he started going hard in the thread. And I was like, I know it's Blizzard. I mean, he's, I love Blizzard, but there's a little, it's a lot of character.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  Kind of like weird. He's, yeah.

• 37:17Speaker 00

  Did he ever show up?

• 37:18Speaker 02

  No.

• 37:19Speaker 00

  He never came?

• 37:20Speaker 02

  No, I think he thought it was the next week. He might be there.

• 37:23Speaker 00

  I didn't, he wasn't at, uh, in Charleston either.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  No, I think he was in New York.

• 37:29Speaker 00

  I haven't seen him in a minute. He's usually at all the stuff.

• 37:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 37:33Speaker 00

  Anyway, um, yeah.

• 37:39Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Quince.

• 37:42Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 37:42Speaker 00

  What do you know about Quince?

• 37:43Matt McCusker?

  I love Quince. I'll be, I'll be honest. They sent me the stuff and I, their boxers, they use like cot, like regular materials, not a lot of polyesters, natural fibers. I'm a, I'm a big fan.

• 37:54Speaker 00

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• 38:19Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 38:20Speaker 00

  That's a bargain.

• 38:21Matt McCusker?

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• 38:47Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 38:48Matt McCusker?

  You're a fool.

• 38:49Speaker 00

  Nutri you fool.

• 38:49Matt McCusker?

  A pity that Nutraful.

• 38:50Speaker 00

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• 39:07Matt McCusker?

  It's 100% vegan, biotin free, and comes in a smaller capsule size to make your daily routine easier. I can't get enough of this stuff.

• 39:17Speaker 00

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• 39:40Matt McCusker?

  Aight. What you got? What you got, Sean?

• 39:43Speaker 03

  We got the Noctis on Tuesday, uh, first and third Tuesday of every month, and I'll be in Raleigh and Charleston at the end of August, and then I'll be in Seattle and Portland, September 10th, and then Portland, September 11th.

• 39:55Speaker 00

  You know I like you to be in front of the camera.

• 39:57Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, true. Okay, sorry.

• 39:58Speaker 00

  You know that.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  I know.

• 39:59Speaker 00

  And you wanted to stay.

• 40:00Matt McCusker?

  They're trying to see the product.

• 40:02Speaker 00

  You want to be asked on camera. You're super.

• 40:04Speaker 03

  Well, I didn't want to be rude. I

• 40:06Speaker 00

  You know.

• 40:07Speaker 03

  Didn't want to be rude and intrude.

• 40:08Speaker 00

  You wanted to be invited. That's fine. Go ahead.

• 40:10Speaker 03

  Well, I appreciate you guys. I'll be in Raleigh, Charleston, Seattle and Portland. Please join me, sean gardini.com. I'd really like to see you there. Thank you. Thank you, guys.

• 40:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Guys, also August 13th and 14th, this very weekend, I'll be in Spokane Comedy, or Spokane Comedy Club, Spokane, Washington, Portland, and Boston, and then Royal Oaks, Michigan, Milwaukee. Please go to mattmccusker.com. Thank you.

• 40:33Speaker 00

  I have no shows.

• 40:35Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 40:38Matt McCusker?

  So what's going on with you, man? What are you up to?

• 40:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh, special came out Netflix.

• 40:44Matt McCusker?

  Rockin'.

• 40:44Speaker 00

  I Never Promised You Rose Garden. Last time I was here was the plug when it came out on YouTube.

• 40:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 40:49Speaker 00

  And then a year later Netflix picked it up. So it's, it's out now.

• 40:53Matt McCusker?

  It is. I'm always mystified how like these companies work. I remember some company was like, we want to re-put your YouTube special on our YouTube page for free. And I was like, okay.

• 41:03Speaker 00

  Absolutely not.

• 41:04Matt McCusker?

  Well, they, we always like, go ahead, I guess, if you want to do it. I don't, you know, then people would watch it and be like, why the fuck is this on this channel now? And I'm like, I don't know either. I don't know. It's a business thing. I don't understand how business works now.

• 41:15Speaker 00

  Dude, it's wild. Like, um, I, I, I work with these guys that helped me with my YouTube and they're, they're real, they're called Wildline. They're really great, but one of the services they'll provide if you want them to, is they'll go out and find all of your clips.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  Hey, a hummingbird.

• 41:31Speaker 00

  Like.

• 41:31Matt McCusker?

  Oh, shit.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  Hey, that hummingbird. That's nice.

• 41:33Matt McCusker?

  Sorry, dude, that's, it's right behind you.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Hummingbird's better than your fucking YouTube channel.

• 41:38Matt McCusker?

  Hummingbirds are fucking sick.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Hummingbird's rule.

• 41:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 41:41Speaker 00

  But they'll go out and find clips of, um, like of you, or you, you know, from your pod or whatever, that other people just post and they'll redirect the monetization back to you because there's clips out there. Like people just post clips of your pod and they have millions of views on their channel, which.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, me and Matt have never been too good at monetizing that.

• 42:02Matt McCusker?

  It's hard. It's a pain.

• 42:03Speaker 00

  Channels are monetized. There's a lot to.

• 42:05Matt McCusker?

  That was a decision 10 years ago. We're like, fuck that.

• 42:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, fuck the system. We'll never monetize this.

• 42:09Matt McCusker?

  We don't monetize this, this channel.

• 42:12Speaker 00

  I mean, it probably does. I was, I was incorrect what I said to you. I think if you don't monetize, it won't show ads.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's why I said no. So on my special, they were like, do you want to monetize it? I was like, it means there's going to be ads in the middle of the fucking special? No.

• 42:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 42:27Speaker 00

  So.

• 42:29Matt McCusker?

  That's cool though. YouTube doesn't show ads if it's not monetized.

• 42:31Speaker 00

  I don't, I monetized it because my cousin Jeff, executive producer, and he funded it.

• 42:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 42:36Speaker 00

  I'm like, I want to make Jeff his money back.

• 42:38Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 42:38Speaker 00

  You know, so, um, but, but yeah, but anyway, that's, that's what's going on, man.

• 42:43Matt McCusker?

  Do you ever get into the science of like thumbnail engineering where they'll do, there's guys that'll do a thing where like they'll, they'll put a thumbnail out and then they'll gate, they'll put like three different ones and test them. So it's like changing all the time. What everyone gets the most, they like swap that out after the fact.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  Netflix does that.

• 42:57Matt McCusker?

  Do they really?

• 42:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, like.

• 42:58Matt McCusker?

  Pretty wild.

• 43:00Speaker 02

  The shows, they'll like cycle thumbnails.

• 43:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  See who clicks on what. Yeah.

• 43:04Speaker 00

  They, uh, the, the, my YouTube guys do that with my podcast. They have three thumbnails and three titles and they A B them.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:14Speaker 00

  There's so much, it's kind of annoying with, with all this shit because it's like, it's, it's hard enough that we all have to like now do this other stuff that we, that didn't even fucking exist when we started doing comedy, let alone like we had an idea of it. You know what I mean? So it's like, like, we're all doing it now. We're all playing ball, but now there's like all of these sub elements to do.

• 43:37Speaker 02

  I think these other people are just, they're making shit up so that they have jobs.

• 43:41Speaker 00

  It could be.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  Your thumbnail, I got you an extra 400 views. That'll be five grand.

• 43:47Speaker 00

  I mean, have you ever looked at YouTube Studio? It's like the analytics are, it's crazy.

• 43:53Matt McCusker?

  Spaceship, dude.

• 43:53Speaker 00

  Dude, you, yeah, you have to learn. It's like, it's like war, it's like.

• 43:57Speaker 02

  Never seen it.

• 43:57Speaker 00

  War Room Reports. It's nuts.

• 43:59Matt McCusker?

  It's also, you don't even want to look at that stuff, dude. You, you look at YouTube analytics and they're like, average watch time. People stopped after one minute. You're like, yeah, great. That's nice. You're like, thousands of people looked at, how long are they watching? Two minutes on average? Like, it's a fucking 45 minute thing. That's great.

• 44:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:15Matt McCusker?

  It's good to know.

• 44:16Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. I try, I try to have some familiarity with it because I'm, I'm just trying to look at it like the way you'd look at television or something. And you're like, well, this works in a certain way and, and whatever. So I want to have some understanding of it. And I also want to understand why when I, when money comes in, I understand why that money is coming in versus just.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  But you don't understand anything.

• 44:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:39Matt McCusker?

  You're a businessman. You're, you're a businessman.

• 44:42Speaker 00

  Not really.

• 44:42Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 44:43Speaker 00

  What do you, are you referring to the hoagie shop I used to own?

• 44:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the hogies.

• 44:48Speaker 00

  Well, that's, I'm out of the hoagie shop.

• 44:50Matt McCusker?

  Still.

• 44:50Speaker 00

  No more Joey Roses. They're still there.

• 44:52Speaker 02

  You made a good hoagie at the beach.

• 44:54Speaker 00

  I made a good hoagie.

• 44:54Speaker 02

  You still have it.

• 44:55Speaker 00

  I still have it. I still have it. But who knows what the future holds? Maybe.

• 45:00Matt McCusker?

  I wasn't even saying that in a bad, I wasn't saying that in a bad way. I'm like, you have to be pretty savvy to.

• 45:03Speaker 00

  No, no, no, no. I know, I know you weren't. I was saying I'm not a great business.

• 45:06Matt McCusker?

  You're out. Oh, really?

• 45:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:08Matt McCusker?

  What was it like owning a hoagie shop?

• 45:10Speaker 00

  Uh, it's.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  You were in there getting wasted. You were acting like you fell down.

• 45:14Matt McCusker?

  You're a Greek guy out front of your pizza shop.

• 45:16Speaker 02

  You were getting carried out of your own hoagie shop. It was pathetic. I went down there. I saw you getting tossed out.

• 45:22Speaker 00

  I can't believe how few times you and I drank in there. That's crazy.

• 45:26Speaker 02

  I was in Austin.

• 45:28Speaker 00

  No, you were in New York.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  When did you open it?

• 45:31Speaker 00

  2020?

• 45:32Speaker 02

  Shit.

• 45:35Speaker 00

  Like, I'm actually.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, shit. That was the whole time I was in New York. I didn't, I didn't go anywhere. When I lived in New York, I did never go anywhere.

• 45:43Speaker 00

  I know. It was, you'd always be in Philly all the time. You were doing Gillian Keebs and all that stuff. But like, I, I don't say it to give you shit, like.

• 45:49Speaker 02

  No, I know.

• 45:50Speaker 00

  Now, I just mean, I can't believe we didn't just get wasted in there for free all the time.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:54Speaker 00

  Um, did I, I did not, not because of

• 46:01Speaker 00

  anything related to my shop. I just did not enjoy the experience of what it was to operate a business like that in New York City. I think I could have very much enjoyed it elsewhere. I did not enjoy it in New York. New York is a very, very hard place to operate. It is a very hard place to survive in. And, um, and it was very, very stressful for me.

• 46:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I heard just starting, like getting your license to start a shop like that is like really, really, really difficult.

• 46:27Speaker 00

  It's funny. All that was easy, which is this is, I don't want to get conspiracy, conspiracy theory here, whatever, but I felt like New York, because of COVID, made all of the red tape extraordinarily easy.

• 46:42Matt McCusker?

  Oh, right, right.

• 46:44Speaker 00

  And then once you were in and COVID ended and all, everything changed, then it was like, all right, guys, now we're going to be New York about everything again.

• 46:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 46:54Speaker 00

  So, uh, rent was cheaper because of COVID. Uh, the, the red tape was easier. The liquor board hearings, all these things were so much more amicable because people desperately, there were, everybody was leaving New York City.

• 47:09Speaker 00

  They gave, oh, put out outdoor seating and spend all this money on it because it's going to be a new part of New York City and, and all this bullshit. And then COVID ended and every landlord in the city was like, uh, your rent's going back up.

• 47:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 47:24Speaker 00

  Uh, city's like, hey, get this fucking outdoor shit out of here.

• 47:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 47:27Speaker 00

  You got to be able to hide it. You can't have it out here all the, and it was just like, this fucking sucks. Like, so I, I, I had some really, really wonderful times in that bar. I made some really great memories. Um, it was the best phase of dating I've ever had in my life.

• 47:42Speaker 02

  Thanks for the memories.

• 47:43Matt McCusker?

  Come to your own, come to your own establishment.

• 47:46Speaker 00

  It's the coolest thing ever to be like, want to go to my bar?

• 47:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's kind of nice.

• 47:53Speaker 00

  It's pretty cool. Uh, but yeah, but that's, that, but, but other than that, no, I did not enjoy it. I, I would never open a business in New York ever again.

• 48:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 48:01Speaker 00

  Ever again.

• 48:02Speaker 02

  Especially now with Mom Donnie.

• 48:03Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 48:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. Especially with Khan Donnie.

• 48:11Speaker 00

  Uh, you're a big Mom Donnie guy, right?

• 48:13Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 48:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  You know I am.

• 48:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:16Speaker 02

  Fucking love taxes. I trust the government with my money, so I, I love giving the government money.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  I think that's a good choice. I think it goes to the right places.

• 48:27Speaker 00

  Wasn't it wild, like, like, living in Texas, the first time I was like, when I became a full-time resident and like declared homestead and everything, it was only a few months ago. I was part-time. When all of a sudden my business manager was like, oh dude, you don't need to worry about that, what your taxes were. I was like, holy shit. All of a sudden I was just like, oh my God, you saved so much fucking much.

• 48:51Matt McCusker?

  That's what I heard. I heard New York's pretty brutal.

• 48:53Speaker 02

  New York's crazy.

• 48:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 48:56Speaker 00

  It's rough. PA's not bad.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  PA's good.

• 48:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, PA's not bad, but, but, um, but anyway.

• 49:03Matt McCusker?

  That's kinda, that's kinda cool though. How long did you have it for?

• 49:06Speaker 00

  It's still there. I'm just not involved anymore.

• 49:08Matt McCusker?

  Do you sell it off or you just?

• 49:12Speaker 00

  I can't, I don't wanna get into it.

• 49:13Matt McCusker?

  True, true.

• 49:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:15Matt McCusker?

  It's like Trump Towers.

• 49:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:17Matt McCusker?

  That's cool.

• 49:18Speaker 02

  It's got his face on it.

• 49:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 00

  My face is not on it anymore.

• 49:21Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 49:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, I took my, but, but it's.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  I bet business is booming. You were like a scarecrow. That fucking mug up there is scaring everyone away. I go, Jesus Christ, that's the guy making the sandwiches? I'm not eating that.

• 49:33Matt McCusker?

  This is a Tunisian family, like.

• 49:35Speaker 00

  Look at that scumbag up there. The, uh, I, uh, I, um, what's it called? It's still called Joey.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  Checking the time, are we boring you?

• 49:44Speaker 00

  No, I just was making sure I wasn't late. That's all. I get paranoid.

• 49:49Speaker 00

  Um, the, uh, I, um, stop.

• 49:53Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 49:53Speaker 00

  Let me be.

• 49:57Speaker 02

  True. Let's talk tax regulations.

• 49:58Speaker 00

  No, no, no.

• 50:01Speaker 02

  No, good call.

• 50:01Speaker 00

  I didn't bring it up. He did.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  No, good call.

• 50:05Speaker 00

  Now, um, wait, what'd you just ask me? Oh, my face, hideous face.

• 50:12Matt McCusker?

  They should put like an animatronic Chuck E. Cheese thing of you in there.

• 50:16Speaker 00

  They're still there. I was, I was involved for.

• 50:21Speaker 00

  Fuck you. You know, you've always been an asshole to me.

• 50:27Speaker 00

  I'm always so good to you and you're such a piece of shit to me.

• 50:31Speaker 02

  I was involved for four years. That was my favorite. That was like our best conversation. Were you like, dude, you're, you're cocksucking to me all the time. How come you don't do that to Soder? Yeah. How come you, you don't do that to Matt or Soder ever? I'm like, cause Matt and Soder aren't dickheads to me. It's very, it's very obvious.

• 50:49Speaker 00

  You said it better than that. You said it better than that. I want you to get full credit for this, cause it was such a, it was such a drop the mic. Go, why, why don't you do that to them? And he goes, because they don't say the worst things imaginable to me.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  All the time?

• 51:04Speaker 00

  And I go, alright, yeah.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Cause that's the, the best part of DeRosa is you're gonna fight.

• 51:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  And then the next day you're getting a call. Dude, I'm just like, can we stop with this? Like every time we hang out, it's just like, it's like, Joe, you, you said I was a fucking piece of shit, like horrible person.

• 51:26Speaker 00

  Be, be, be, be fair though. You do, you do push the buttons first a little more than I do. You have to come on. You, you gotta admit that much.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  We've had this conversation.

• 51:35Speaker 00

  You know you like.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  We can keep track of it.

• 51:37Speaker 00

  You know you like.

• 51:37Speaker 02

  I literally will walk into a green room and you'll go, well, well, well, look at it. Fucking piece of shit. I go, there's one. One, nothing. Let's go.

• 51:49Speaker 00

  You walk up to me.

• 51:50Speaker 02

  I walked out here, you called me barbecue.

• 51:53Speaker 00

  First thing in the morning, don't you like seeing me, fucking big barbecue piece of shit?

• 51:58Speaker 02

  I go, alright, good morning. Let's start.

• 52:02Matt McCusker?

  I was taking a shit and I heard that.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course you do that.

• 52:06Speaker 00

  I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't even realize I do.

• 52:10Speaker 02

  I see Matt, I give him a hug. I go, what's up dude? He goes, what's up, man?

• 52:13Speaker 00

  You know what's funny? When you hugged Matt, I was kinda like, he didn't hug me. And I didn't even realize I called a barbecue.

• 52:20Speaker 02

  Now, if Matt walked out of the.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  If you would have done what Matt did, I would have said something immediately.

• 52:26Speaker 00

  You know, dude?

• 52:26Speaker 02

  The dump on arrivals. The DOA is fucking crazy.

• 52:29Speaker 00

  I was happy to see you.

• 52:31Speaker 02

  Dump, dump on arrival, I heard him call. I didn't know you were here. I heard you like. I was like, Matt's taking a shit.

• 52:39Matt McCusker?

  DeRosa was talking about something midway through. I'm like, I'm sorry, I gotta shit right now. I made a conversation. I was like, I gotta go.

• 52:45Speaker 02

  Pardon me.

• 52:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:46Matt McCusker?

  Excuse me.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  I beg your pardon, I have to shit.

• 52:48Speaker 00

  That's, alright, alright, you got, you got a, you got a point.

• 52:51Speaker 02

  I do it too.

• 52:52Speaker 00

  You definitely do. You love walking up and going, you got, your big opening line, you got a real bad attitude today. You would love to start with that. Like, I was just gonna say hi, dude.

• 53:06Speaker 02

  You do have a rotten attitude. Every time I see you.

• 53:13Matt McCusker?

  That's such a funny thing.

• 53:15Speaker 00

  I just drove 13 hours. Bees are lying to me about the airports.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  Shut the fuck up, Joe.

• 53:20Speaker 00

  Dude, and then you'll fucking, another one you'll do. You'll text me, there'll be some hang that you weren't there for. Next morning, you'll be like, I know what you did, you fucking scumbag.

• 53:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's nice. I like to stay home, dude. You guys are out partying. I go, I'm gonna take it easy.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  I know what you're up to.

• 53:44Speaker 00

  The, uh, wait, there was another one you did that I was, I was just trying to remember it. Fuck. The bad, bad attitudes is a big one.

• 53:50Matt McCusker?

  Bad attitudes are good.

• 53:53Matt McCusker?

  Well, well, well is nice when someone comes in.

• 53:59Speaker 00

  It's, look, playing offense is the defense.

• 54:03Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 54:03Speaker 00

  Cause you know it's coming.

• 54:06Speaker 00

  I know, I, oh, oh, that's what it was. I remember now. I remember now. I know when you think, I know when you think that you were fucking with me too much. And it's very nice, but you will do a thing now when we're drinking. If you think you're fucking with me too much, for no reason, you'll come up behind me and you'll go, you'll grab my shoulder and you'll be like, you're a good man, dude. I love you.

• 54:28Speaker 00

  Kinda like, uh, he thinks he's, he thinks he's fucking with me.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, you get so upset.

• 54:34Speaker 00

  I get upset. Sometimes what you, you're.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  You get so upset.

• 54:38Speaker 00

  You, you know how, this is how I describe you. I've described you a lot like this to all of our friends. Um, it's not a bad thing. It's, it's, it's actually a compliment.

• 54:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm sure.

• 54:52Speaker 02

  I've described this to you this way to all your friends behind your back. It's a good thing.

• 54:55Speaker 00

  No, no, it's, I swear to God, it's, it's, it's, it speaks to your prowess of your insight into another person. I always say you're like, like if you read the Justice League comic books, Batman, he has a way to take down every Justice League member in case they ever go AWOL. Like he's like, he's, so he's got a kryptonite bullet, cause he's like, in case Superman ever goes crazy, like that, we have to kill him, right? And I'm like, that's Shane, Shane is Batman. He knows exactly what everybody's kryptonite bullet is. And he knows exactly how to fire it at you and get you the most mad you could possibly get. I honestly mean that as a compliment. It's a skill that Patrice had it too.

• 55:35Speaker 00

  Patrice could just look at you and be like, eh, you fucking, and say the thing that you left the house thinking about. Like, god damn it, man.

• 55:47Speaker 02

  Deep insecurity.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  You go, he's gonna notice what I thought about when I walked out, so I gotta fucking nail him, dude.

• 55:55Speaker 00

  So I, I do tend to get a little, little, uh, little more, uh, uh, yeah, you're right. I, I get.

• 56:03Speaker 02

  It's okay. Yeah, maybe I'll, maybe I'll stop messing with you.

• 56:07Speaker 00

  We'd stop.

• 56:07Speaker 02

  Never.

• 56:09Speaker 00

  Last year on this very pod, on this very day, we tried to call the truth.

• 56:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I walked into the green room and you're like, hey, look who's here, you fucking tub of shit.

• 56:17Speaker 00

  No, no, no. Okay. That night you started it and then you kept going, you kept going, alright, that's it. I won't do anymore. Come on, dude. Stop.

• 56:26Speaker 02

  I'd make bottom, I'd go, oh, truth, truth, truth.

• 56:29Speaker 02

  We can't, we can't, we promise.

• 56:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, six beers later, we're like, fuck you, dude. Just goes to shit. Immediately just went to shit.

• 56:39Matt McCusker?

  I, I do like the PA and O, OL framing.

• 56:42Speaker 02

  There's a big PA.

• 56:43Matt McCusker?

  There's personal tax and then there's over the line.

• 56:45Speaker 02

  There's over the line.

• 56:47Speaker 00

  Oh, oh.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  So if you. PA, it's like you PA'd me, I'm gonna PA you.

• 56:50Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 56:51Speaker 02

  But that's an OL, dude.

• 56:53Speaker 00

  I, I, I don't think any of us have a lot of OLs.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  Everyone has an OL.

• 56:58Speaker 00

  What's, what's, no, I'm saying like, I haven't witnessed a lot of OLs take place.

• 57:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, we, we, we usually don't take it that far.

• 57:07Speaker 00

  No, no. The, uh, I'm trying to think of somebody who, who does.

• 57:12Speaker 02

  Tommy's kind of a habitual OL stepper.

• 57:17Speaker 02

  Spit on Nate.

• 57:19Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:20Matt McCusker?

  That's OL.

• 57:21Speaker 00

  He did slap me in the face and miss.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  And I'll slap you in the face, kind of as hard as he can.

• 57:25Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. And I go, and you were like, you were like, Tommy, what are you doing? And he's like, what, what, what?

• 57:32Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:34Speaker 02

  He stares at you.

• 57:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's great. You just did it perfect. And I go, I go, look, it's no big deal, dude. It's no big deal. We're drunk. I don't care. I go, do me a favor.

• 57:46Speaker 00

  Don't wake up tomorrow worried about this and call me and be like, dude, I'm so sorry. I'm embarrassed. Whatever he goes, I'm not fucking going to because I'm not sorry. I was like, well, don't do that either.

• 57:59Speaker 00

  That's psychotic.

• 58:02Speaker 00

  But he just was so just like, I don't, like, and then he did call me, like, sorry about that. But yeah, he'll slap you in the fucking, he'll give you a nice slap.

• 58:09Speaker 02

  He's a big slap guy.

• 58:10Matt McCusker?

  It's wild.

• 58:12Speaker 00

  It is.

• 58:13Speaker 02

  He's a big slap man. After a while, you'll see him slaps him. You're like, dude.

• 58:18Matt McCusker?

  Is it like a Robert De Niro kind of affectionate?

• 58:21Speaker 02

  It is, but he takes it too far.

• 58:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 58:23Speaker 02

  And sometimes he's a little too drunk.

• 58:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  He'll really slap you.

• 58:26Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 58:26Speaker 00

  He.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 00

  Fucking, we, we, we were in, I was in New York the other night, fucking Gomez. I'm sitting backstage at Kill Tony. I didn't know who it was. Gomez, Luis Gomez comes up behind me. He puts me in a, starts by like hugging me around the neck. And I'm like, I don't know who this is. Slides into a triangle choke hold. And starts doing it so strong where I go, bro, bro, stop. And it fucking hurts. And he goes literally like, you are such a pussy.

• 58:56Speaker 00

  You tap. What kind of pussy says stop? I go, I didn't even know who the fuck it was, dude. Are you a psycho?

• 59:05Speaker 00

  You're defending this? That is psychotic. And then he opened with it on stage and it bombed.

• 59:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:13Speaker 00

  He went out and he's like, the rules are so, because I was on panel. He goes, those are such a pussy. I put him in a child trouble. He didn't even, he doesn't fucking tap. He goes, stop. And the people are like, uh huh.

• 59:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  At the Garden?

• 59:26Speaker 00

  Yeah. And then he had a great set, but that first line, they were just like, yeah, yeah, it's crazy.

• 59:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I do that move police kill people with and he was all pissed off about it.

• 59:36Speaker 00

  That's an OL, right?

• 59:37Matt McCusker?

  That's an OL. Well.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, a bit of an O. Well, no, I mean, it depends how hard he strangled you.

• 59:46Speaker 00

  An anonymous triangle choke from behind.

• 59:51Speaker 02

  It borders P A O L. It's right there. It's sitting on the line. Now defending it immediately and calling you a pussy, that's an O.

• 59:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, that's.

• 59:59Speaker 02

  Strangling someone and then calling them a pussy.

• 1:00:01Speaker 00

  You pussy.

• 1:00:02Speaker 02

  OL.

• 1:00:03Speaker 00

  Fuck off, man.

• 1:00:05Matt McCusker?

  She just gave one of the bodyguards like a thousand bucks and like, destroy this guy.

• 1:00:11Speaker 00

  I would love to go get a couple of those Rogan, those Rogan troops.

• 1:00:18Speaker 00

  Sub of Finsky. Just fucking do me a favor.

• 1:00:21Matt McCusker?

  Handle that. Handle that.

• 1:00:26Speaker 00

  Fuck dude. Yeah. But, uh, yeah, anyway, well, the, oh, the slap thing. It is, it's like Shane said, like it's, he's, he's not doing it to be like, fuck you. He's doing it to be funny. But it's like Tommy also gets like, he'll hug you and, and it, it hurts.

• 1:00:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:46Speaker 00

  And he's kissing your face.

• 1:00:47Speaker 02

  The kissing is outrageous.

• 1:00:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. And you're like, Tom, this hurts. Please stop.

• 1:00:51Speaker 02

  Kissing is absolutely the most outrageous fucking thing.

• 1:00:54Matt McCusker?

  I've seen it.

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  And his beard, his beard will be wet from drinking.

• 1:01:00Speaker 00

  Dude, get the fuck. He's like, what? I love you. God forbid somebody loves you. Fucking piece of shit, fucking asshole.

• 1:01:07Matt McCusker?

  His beard like digs into your face too. You're like, ow.

• 1:01:10Speaker 00

  Wide eyed, just fucking, fucking wide eyed. You want to have a drink? I've been drinking all fucking day.

• 1:01:19Speaker 00

  All right, man.

• 1:01:23Matt McCusker?

  We had a nice time cooking at the beach. Me and him sat there for like two and a half hours cooking. It was so, so nice.

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, the meals were great.

• 1:01:30Matt McCusker?

  He can fucking cook, man.

• 1:01:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:31Matt McCusker?

  He is, he's like, it's unbelievable.

• 1:01:33Speaker 00

  He's amazing.

• 1:01:33Matt McCusker?

  He made like a steakhouse, like a real steakhouse dinner.

• 1:01:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:38Matt McCusker?

  It's, it's, he's just sitting there the whole time flipping everything. I'm going to go check the steaks back and forth. I'm like, dude, how the fuck are you doing this?

• 1:01:45Speaker 00

  Dude, we.

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  And he fucking resentfully serves. After he makes a nice meal, he's like, hey, you fucking piece of shit.

• 1:01:53Matt McCusker?

  No, as soon as.

• 1:01:53Speaker 00

  Somebody's got to feed these fucking children. No one here can make a fucking meal to save their life.

• 1:01:59Matt McCusker?

  As soon as O'Connor came in, it went.

• 1:02:01Speaker 00

  Oh, that was crazy.

• 1:02:02Matt McCusker?

  O'Connor goes, what's that mushroom risotto? And I get, O'Connor was trying to be nice and cheery, but he was so drunk. Then when he saw it, he goes, what's that mushroom risotto? And Tommy goes, yeah.

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  I was so happy. I was walking to the bathroom. I heard it. I leaned back in and I was like, say thank you, Chris. Oh, it was so nice.

• 1:02:19Speaker 00

  Did the second.

• 1:02:22Matt McCusker?

  O'Connor was trying to be nice. I could tell.

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  What's that mushroom risotto? Chris, say thank you. Don't just fucking complain that there's mushrooms. Yeah, I'm not complaining. There's mushrooms. Fucking piece of shit.

• 1:02:35Speaker 00

  Second night we were there, it's me, Shane and Tommy, we're on the beach. Tommy's like, I'm going to cook a steak dinner. I'm going to make a Greek salad. It was amazing. We're down at the beach. We get pretty bombed up at the beach. Me, Tommy go back. Shane's still sitting down there. I go take a nap. Actually, no, I left first and I just went up and took a nap. I wake up from my nap. I'm like, fuck man, I was out for like two hours. Jesus. I go downstairs because I hear noise. Tommy's alone in the kitchen. He's got a Greek salad in front of him, dude. He's like, where the fuck were you?

• 1:03:14Speaker 00

  I go, I was upstairs sleeping. He goes, I'm in the fucking weeds. I'm working my fucking ass off down here. He was yelling at me like it was a, like a real restaurant kitchen. I was like, I never said I would help you with any of this fucking weird meal you wanted to cook.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  The Greek salad was incredible. It was the best Greek salad.

• 1:03:32Matt McCusker?

  I don't even like tomatoes like that. And I was like, these are delicious.

• 1:03:34Speaker 00

  It was amazing. He was so on edge, man.

• 1:03:36Matt McCusker?

  Oh, so funny.

• 1:03:37Speaker 00

  Guys, I love you. I got to roll.

• 1:03:39Speaker 02

  All right. Joe.

• 1:03:40Speaker 00

  Congratulations.

• 1:03:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, please.

• 1:03:42Speaker 00

  Thanks. Uh, I never promised you a rose garden on Netflix now. Please go watch it. And my new podcast, Vol and Horrendous on the, on my YouTube, at Joe DeRosa.

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  You're in tires.

• 1:03:52Speaker 00

  Tire season three.

• 1:03:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, it comes out Thursday.

• 1:03:54Speaker 00

  Comes out Thursday. Awesome. And, uh, live dates, joederosa.com. Guys, thank you, man. This is fucking awesome.

• 1:04:00Speaker 02

  Of course, man. This was a special, this was a special one.

• 1:04:03Speaker 00

  Thanks, man. Wait. Fuck off. Dickhead.

• 1:04:14Matt McCusker?

  Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 1:04:18Speaker 02

  Do it.

• 1:04:24Speaker 04

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• 1:04:33Speaker 04

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