This Is Poverty That’s Your Fault | No Shame In Needing Help

There is the form of poverty that is not having enough. But there was another form of poverty that Seneca talked about... 🎟️ DAILY STOIC LIVE https://www.dailystoiclive.com/| Ryan Holiday is coming to a city near you https://www.dailystoiclive.com/! Grab tickets here https://www.dailystoiclive.com/ | https://www.dailystoiclive.com/ 🎙️ AD-FREE https://dailystoic.supercast.com/| Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium https://dailystoic.supercast.com/ - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/ https://dailystoic.supercast.com/ 🎥 VIDEO EPISODES https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos| Watch the video episodes on The Daily Stoic YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos: https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos ✉️ FREE STOIC WISDOM https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail | Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues: courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom into the real world.

• 0:15Ryan Holiday?

  This is poverty that's your fault. There's a form of poverty that is not having enough, and this is a real and a tragic problem, a stroke of bad luck and often a social injustice. And it's a shame the way that society looks down upon those who are struggling, as if it's always their fault, as if it says anything about them as a person. But there was another form of poverty that Seneca talked about, and in fact, knew himself. And it was this form of poverty that was actually pathetic. It's the poverty of wanting too much. All Seneca had to do was look around Rome to see it. There's a famous story of a man in Nero's court who threw himself at the emperor's feet, crying that he was down to his last million.

• 0:58Ryan Holiday?

  "My God," Nero replied, "how can you bear it?" And sadly, this is a form of poverty all too common in the first world, perhaps even in your social circles. People who make good money but spend it even better, whose appetites outpace even their enormous incomes. In many cases, their poverty is self-inflicted, the result of a lack of self-discipline, not so much of laziness, but of excess. And there are also people whose poverty comes merely by comparison, although they have quite a bit. Compared to others, they only have a little, and thus feel poor. And both these forms are not only pointless and irresponsible, but they are an insult to the people who actually are struggling. They're an insult to the people who have the misfortune of not being born into money or not working in an industry

• 1:43Ryan Holiday?

  where fortunes are more readily made. And it's an insult to philosophy, too, as Marx realist reminds us, because there is so little actually needed for a good and a happy life. Poverty because of where you're born or what's happening in the world is tragic. Poverty because you are entitled and reckless and envious and insatiable? That, too, is tragic. Just the kind that doesn't deserve any sympathy.

• 2:18Ryan Holiday?

  No shame in needing help. This is the June 16th entry in the Daily Stoic. 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. It is fitting, I guess, today is my birthday, June 16th, that we are going to be quoting one of my absolute favorite quotes from Marcus Aurelius, all time favorite quotes. Marcus Aurelius says, "Don't be ashamed of needing help. You have a duty to fulfill, just like a soldier on the wall of battle. So what if you're injured and can't climb up without another soldier's help? So what?"

• 3:02Ryan Holiday?

  That's Marcus Aurelius's Meditations 7:7. You know what? I like this quote so much, I'm going to give you the Hayes one as well. What is that? It's a 7:7, so let me give you 7:7 from Hayes. Hayes says, "Don't be ashamed to need help like a soldier storming a wall. You have a mission to accomplish. And if you've been wounded and need a comrade to pull you up, so what?" Let's grab the Robin Waterfield one, too. See what he says about it. "There's no shame in being helped because you've got to do the job you've been set, like a soldier storming a city wall. Suppose you had a limp and were unable to scale the battlements on your own, but could do so with someone's assistance."

• 3:48Ryan Holiday?

  Right? So what? That's what he's saying. And the reason I love this quote so much, and actually, let me get to the Meditations first. "No one ever said you were born with all the tools you'd need to solve every problem you'd face in life. In fact, as a newborn, you were practically helpless. Someone helped you then, and you came to understand that you could ask for help. It's how you knew that you were loved. Well, you are still loved, and you can ask for help from anyone. You don't have to face everything on your own. If you need help, comrade, just ask." Look, the idea here, and why I love this quote so much, is it flies in the face of this stereotype of the emotionless, robotic, superhuman stoic that cannot...

• 4:34Ryan Holiday?

  Ask for aid, cannot rely on anyone that is an island. You are not an island. That's what Marx realized saying, no, you're part of the phalanx. You're part of a troop, a brigade, a battalion, and you're all in this together, protecting each other, helping each other. And in fact, to not ask for help, to just lay there and to give up is not just weak, but cowardly, right? You have to be able to ask for help. There's a great book, I've read it to my kids a million times called The Boy, The Fox, The Horse and The Mole. We sell it at the painted porch. If you haven't read it, even as an adult, I promise you, you gotta get this book. But anyways, there's a passage in the book, he says, asking for help isn't giving up.

• 5:17Ryan Holiday?

  It's refusing to give up, right? Asking for help isn't weak. It's a sign of strength. You're not afraid of being seen as weak. You're committed. You're unbeatable, right? You will not go down without a fight and you're willing to do anything and everything to keep going, including asking for help. So I don't know what you're going through. I don't know what's going on in your life. I don't know what you're struggling with, but you should not be afraid to ask for help. You should ask for help. Asking for help is important. I talk to my wife about this sometimes, like we'll be at a store and she's just looking all over the place for the thing. And I'd go, there are people whose job it is to help you.

• 5:58Ryan Holiday?

  And in fact, by going and asking that Home Depot employee to show you something, that's like one box that they don't have to lift. You're giving them purpose and something to do, right? By asking for help, you are giving other people something. You are giving other people the opportunity to feel and do good. Think about it that way. Like when your friends ask for help, are you like, oh, this fucking guy? No, you're glad, right? When your siblings ask for help, like you enjoy the opportunity. So why would you think that other people would judge you or think critically of you or refuse you help? They wouldn't. So don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to show weakness or vulnerability. This is a good thing and I hope that you do it.

• 6:43Ryan Holiday?

  This could be therapy. This could be opening up to a spouse. This could be opening up to a parent, to a loved one, to a friend, could be to a total stranger, could be just asking for directions when you're lost. Don't be afraid to ask for help. It is not un-Stoic. And in fact, to persist in ignorance or air or uncertainty because you are afraid of looking foolish. Well, that is to miss the point of Stoicism, as Epictetus says. If you want to improve, you have to be willing to be seen as foolish. I'm not saying you will look foolish by asking for help, but you have to get over that fear of what other people will think to ask for and get what you need. So please, please do it. And appreciate all of your support here at Daily Stoic.

• 7:28Ryan Holiday?

  And I'm gonna go have some fun on my birthday. So, talk to you tomorrow.