How to Be a New Homeowner w/ Colum Tyrrell!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Colum Tyrrell! You know Colum Tyrrell from stand up comedy, The Joe Rogan Experience, Kill Tony, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, Whiskey Ginger, Soder Podcast, Real Ass Podcast, Stuff Island, Tim Butterly's Show, The Tonight Show, and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch AMERICAN GARBAGE: https://youtu.be/77zGwlLffWk?si=6E9dBr63JY7HgP9t AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Bærskin Tactical: Text GARBAGE to 36912 to get $20 USD off your BAERSkin Hoodie. BlueChew: https://bluechew.com Promo Code: GARBAGE MOD: Visit https://mod.com for a free consultation and get 10% off your first order PLUS free shipping with promo code GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Oh baby, New York City, New York. We just added a show over there at Gotham Comedy Club for Saturday, November 14th. Grab your tickets.

• 0:08Speaker 01

  Yes, Friday night's sold out. There's still some tickets for the late show Friday, but get them, get them Saturday. The boys are coming. Bring the squad. Let's go.

• 0:16H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 0:17Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:37H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:43Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:44H. Foley?

  It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they're good to be classy.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:48H. Foley?

  Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:51H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toody's in the new addition. She's on a little hunting trip.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:57H. Foley?

  Yeah, going after a 12-point buck.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 1:00H. Foley?

  Old Nelly.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:02H. Foley?

  Trying to hit it with her car. Out in the woods. Alright.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  Take it.

• 1:08H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  That's all the time.

• 1:10H. Foley?

  Just in time for bonus season. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman. He has a little money in the market, as everybody knows. He's also a loving father, loving husband, and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ. It's Kevin James Ryan.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  What's up, everybody? He always says the things he's extremely jealous of, by the way. This guy's got a lot of money. Decent hug.

• 1:33H. Foley?

  Guy's got a piece on him.

• 1:34Speaker 01

  I do not. Uh, guys, thanks for tuning in. As always, just make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify. The boys are climbing the frickin' charts.

• 1:44H. Foley?

  Yes, we are.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  Top 100 all podcasts of all time ever created.

• 1:48H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  Or something like that. Uh, then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, we're hitting all-time highs over there on the Patreon.

• 1:56H. Foley?

  17K, 17,000. Goddamn army over there.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Lot of money.

• 2:01H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm. Again, we couldn't be more excited. Have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest. He's back with us again today. A lot of changes in his life.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:09H. Foley?

  Settled down?

• 2:10Speaker 01

  Hope so.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  I don't know what the fuck else we're gonna talk about. You have house underline.

• 2:17H. Foley?

  Two underlines. A little cold sore coming in, I see on that top lip.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  That's the prep door around here.

• 2:22H. Foley?

  Very funny stand-up comedian and podcaster. You can hear every week on his amazing podcast, Cock Fight, and he has a brand-new special, Bells and Whistles, out on his YouTube page. One of the funniest, one of our best pals, Countrell, everybody.

• 2:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:34H. Foley?

  Old Tony T.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  You did it.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  One of my favorites.

• 2:37H. Foley?

  The Irish were over.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me. Do you say I have cold sore? I woke up with a pimple on my lips this morning. I had to, it hurts so much.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  That's the worst place to go.

• 2:45H. Foley?

  That's not a pimple. What are we talking about?

• 2:48Speaker 03

  Well, if I had the herpes, I'd let you know, but I just don't want people to think that it's herpes.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:55Speaker 03

  That's strictly a, strictly a southern issue.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  That's a genital thing I get going on. I don't have the oral kind. It's strictly on my wiener.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  Well, I have the cold, I do have, I do get cold sores. I haven't really got them in a long time, but I think.

• 3:07H. Foley?

  You got the herpes. That's the herpes.

• 3:08Speaker 03

  But it's herpes cousin. It is herpes cousin. It's not real.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't have the, I don't have the info. I know it is a variation of it, but it is.

• 3:17Speaker 03

  But I think it's made me build up an immune system to the real herpes.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  Oh, there you go. It's like a weakened version of the herpes that your body beat up and now you can't get the real herpes.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  It's like a vaccine version.

• 3:27H. Foley?

  It's a common affliction among our people.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't know what it is.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  Scumbags? What are you talking about?

• 3:32H. Foley?

  It's our, it's our.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  Gay guys?

• 3:36Speaker 01

  Homosexual men.

• 3:38H. Foley?

  It gets us a lot.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 3:40H. Foley?

  You know what I mean? The fair skin, the drinking.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:44H. Foley?

  Poor diet, stressing the home life.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  Everyone drinking out of the same carton in the fridge. That's probably a common thing, I reckon.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  That means your parents have it?

• 3:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course they do. Everyone has it. It's weird if you don't. It means you're ugly.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Means you're getting no A's.

• 4:01Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 4:02H. Foley?

  Buddy, good to see you.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  Good to see you, fellas.

• 4:04H. Foley?

  Congrats on the special.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  Cooking, cooking.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  Go check it out. You know, you guys are always, you always got the best fans, the,

• 4:11Speaker 01

  This guy's pandering already.

• 4:14H. Foley?

  No cold sores out there, huh?

• 4:17Speaker 03

  You guys, sexy, cool fans. The fans that leave comments on my special.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  Share it with their friends.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  Specifically, and if you don't leave a comment, you suck.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  You have one of my favorite, you, cause you're very, you can't not be you. You can't not be.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  Such an affectionate personality.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  You're just like, if you have something, I don't know, we had you.

• 4:35H. Foley?

  Something rude to say?

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Nah, you, we, uh.

• 4:38H. Foley?

  Speaks his mind.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  We had you open, uh, open to a set on the Met Show.

• 4:42Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  And one of my brothers, my brother's been coming to see us.

• 4:45H. Foley?

  On the Met Show?

• 4:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:47H. Foley?

  Down in Philly?

• 4:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:48H. Foley?

  That was, you were down there that night?

• 4:50Speaker 03

  That was me. That was me.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  Yes, he was.

• 4:52H. Foley?

  The night we did the Met in Philly, when my nephew and my cousin was backstage?

• 4:57Speaker 01

  I don't fucking know. How many times have you done the Met?

• 4:59Speaker 03

  I don't think, I don't, I don't think they were there.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  I don't remember seeing your nephew back there. He was there.

• 5:04H. Foley?

  When we got the Santucci's Pizza.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  How messed up were you? You thought I was, you thought?

• 5:08Speaker 01

  That's not your nephew.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  You thought, yeah.

• 5:10H. Foley?

  What?

• 5:14H. Foley?

  I gave you $500 for Christmas.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  Also, why break our balls on it? Just roll with the idea that he was there.

• 5:20H. Foley?

  I'm a stickler.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  What, you're telling me he was in the same room as my nephew? I guess. If that's how you quantify, that's how you quantify the night with your nephew was there? Not the biggest show you've ever done?

• 5:31Speaker 03

  Anyway, the point being.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  And the Santucci's Pizza. Uh, the point being is, uh, you came out and you shit on us immediately.

• 5:38Speaker 03

  Did I? I don't even remember.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  It was like something, my brother brings it up all the time. It was, anytime, anytime someone publicly shits on me, my brother, he's standing in line.

• 5:46Speaker 03

  Good, good.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  I wanna shake your hand.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  You gotta keep him around, yeah.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  That guy's got balls. He's got balls.

• 5:51Speaker 03

  He Venmo'd me $10. So, hey, thanks for that.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  It was something, whoever remembers who's seen me from the podcast and like, you know, half the people clap or whatever, cause yeah, they've gotten too big. It's been a while. They won't have me back on or something like, which I respect. You take your chop block.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  I think I was shitting on myself there, but I get it. You guys are sitting in here at Cameron Diaz, asking her if she ever drank milk and all this shit, and I'm just a little, I'm just a no good.

• 6:13H. Foley?

  The fuck Cameron Diaz was here?

• 6:14Speaker 03

  I'm just a no good stand-up comedian.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  He just did Rogan. Shut up.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, you were like, you thought it was your niece the whole time.

• 6:20Speaker 01

  Here's a nickel. Go buy yourself some candy.

• 6:23H. Foley?

  There has been a lot of changes, though. You got settled down. You're married now.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  I'm married now.

• 6:27H. Foley?

  And you're at the burbs. You moved out of the city.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  Big J.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Wait, Big J?

• 6:32Speaker 03

  I gave her a nickname and then I realized that nickname's already taken. Her name's, her name's Jessica, so I was like, Big J, and then I was like, shit. I feel like that's actually already used.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  It's a buddy of ours.

• 6:41H. Foley?

  You moved out of, you got out of the rat race in New York City.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:44H. Foley?

  You're out there in the burbs in Jersey.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  I'm in the burbs, yeah.

• 6:47H. Foley?

  You settled down. You guys buy a house?

• 6:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, we bought the house.

• 6:49H. Foley?

  You bought a house?

• 6:50Speaker 03

  Bought a house back in, uh, April, yeah.

• 6:52H. Foley?

  Look at this. Goddamn homeowner. Irish shitmaker comes to this country.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  Come back. Dirtball. Check his papers.

• 7:00Speaker 03

  Exactly. I'm in the suburbs now. It's quiet. It's just.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, what do you like about the burbs? Cause you were in Brooklyn or Queens before?

• 7:05Speaker 03

  We were in Queens.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  You were in Queens.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. I was in Astoria for a long time. I was also in Brooklyn originally, but yeah.

• 7:10H. Foley?

  Walk up in Astoria.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, that was good, though. That's uphill. You miss the steps. You start gaining those suburban pounds.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  You do. You put on a spare tire.

• 7:18H. Foley?

  Nothing wrong with it.

• 7:19Speaker 03

  Those little walks down to the bodega to get milk, you know, those, those add up when you're in the suburbs. But it's, I like it. It's nice.

• 7:26H. Foley?

  What'd you get at the bodega? Milk?

• 7:27Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. What do you get?

• 7:29H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Fucking Lucy's? Loose cigarettes?

• 7:31Speaker 01

  You're lighting it still off the, you're lighting it off the guy at the counter. That's a, that's a different kind of bodega. When you can light, when the guy will light it for you and you can walk out.

• 7:39H. Foley?

  It's on a piece of yarn?

• 7:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:41H. Foley?

  It's a tatso, the bodega cat running around?

• 7:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, the lighter's on it like a chain, like a, like a pan at the post office.

• 7:46Speaker 01

  I always love the kind of someone that'll light it, then as they're walking out, they stop to look at like the fucking daily news or whatever. You're like, get the fuck out of here, guy. Listen, I like a heater just as much as the next guy, but goddamn.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, the loose cigarettes was nice. When I lived in Brooklyn, they would sell them. And then actually, when I first moved in there, I had to get the, the people I lived with, there was a black family, but the, but the local store wouldn't sell.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  Sell to you.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  Cause they thought I was a cop.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 8:09Speaker 03

  So I had to bring them down and they were like, no, he's good. He's with us.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  They vouched for you.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  They vouched for me.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  Look at that. That's New York, baby.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, that, that really is summarizes New York with the bodegas. Like, absolutely not.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  I kinda had to do that.

• 8:20Speaker 03

  I know a cop when I see them. I'm 24, I'm from Ireland, going, that lady gives a cigarette.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  My bodega would sell you, uh, the one shipped in from another state for $10 flat. But you had to, I, you had to have someone, you had to go in enough, you had to be there.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  Kentucky was the cheap one, I think, if I remember.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  $10, $10 pack of cigarettes in New York. Can't beat that.

• 8:42H. Foley?

  Ian's guy did that to me. He fucking wouldn't sell it to me. Ian's like, this is my friend, and Ian, Ian leaves, the guy tries to hit me with 20. I had 20. And the fucking weird guy said, you give me a deal.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  The guy just disappeared. He was here a second ago.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  He goes, I hate that guy. Worst guy you could ever introduce.

• 8:59H. Foley?

  That's not true. I love Ian.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  And you pay the Ian tax?

• 9:02Speaker 03

  Mm.

• 9:03H. Foley?

  The Ian tax. Um, how is the house?

• 9:06Speaker 03

  House is great. Lot of work. I didn't realize, I just never really understood the concept of just buying chores.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  Do you know what I mean? It's like, every day I've got a thing to do.

• 9:15H. Foley?

  Can I ask you this? Are you the first Tyrrell to own a home in America?

• 9:18Speaker 01

  God, me.

• 9:19Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, from my immediate family, sure.

• 9:21H. Foley?

  It's awesome.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  There's also some legendary Tyrrell around the place that I've never met. There's like a, there's like a university.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  Apparently they're the ones that created herpes.

• 9:29Speaker 03

  There's a, there's a massive university in Canada.

• 9:32H. Foley?

  Famous Donkey Fighter.

• 9:33Speaker 03

  Some guy, some guy called, yeah, Derek Tyrrell fucking set up a huge university in Canada.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  And they're, they're, they're.

• 9:39H. Foley?

  Related to you?

• 9:40Speaker 03

  There's only 20 people with my name.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  Really? There's not that many?

• 9:44Speaker 03

  It's a small, it's a very unique weird name.

• 9:46H. Foley?

  Little clan?

• 9:47Speaker 03

  A little clan, tiny little clan, yeah.

• 9:49H. Foley?

  Yeah, hit that guy up, get a little cash out of him.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  Well, he might hit me up now.

• 9:53Speaker 01

  He's got that AYG bump.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  Now that bells and whistles, it's got 200,000 views.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Probably 210 by the time this comes out.

• 10:01H. Foley?

  It's 2:30 when I look, it's cooking.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Get it to 250, are you kidding me? It'll be 250 by the end of this recording.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, that'd be good.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  And listen, uh, homies and bozos, go fucking like it, go, go hype it, go do, go share it, do all that stuff, comment, go wa- and first of all, watch it, he's a fucking, one of my favorites.

• 10:17Speaker 03

  Appreciate it, thank you so much.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  An old, an old, an old pal of mine. Um, what is on the to-do list currently? What did, did it need any work when you moved in? Like work, work? Or just like odds and end shit? Cause that shit piles up and I've had my house for three years and I still have, I'm still doing shit.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  Eh, it's mostly just little, little stuff here and there.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  Um, like the pavers are, the, the, the brick work in the yard, it, there's loads of gaps in it. So all the weeds are growing up. So then I bought this sand that I gotta like put down and like water the sand so it hardens. And it's just sitting there in the garage.

• 10:51H. Foley?

  What kind of brickwork? Like a walkway?

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have a little, um, like pavers, you know, so somewhere to park the car and then somewhere to walk right up to the, um, but then there's like little dent, it's like wavy. There's little things on the sides.

• 11:02H. Foley?

  In the front of the house?

• 11:03Speaker 03

  On the front of the house, yeah.

• 11:05H. Foley?

  Is it like brick, brick?

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Well, pavers, they're like pavers. They'd be like the little, I mean, I don't know how to explain it.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  I don't really know how to explain it either. Like, it's, it's brick. Did you ever see The Wizard of Oz?

• 11:14H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Did you ever see it? No, it's yellow.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  Like that, yeah. I mean, they're usually not brick.

• 11:19H. Foley?

  I've seen The Wiz. Oh, okay. You got that. You got that going. All right.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  It gets to be more like this, but it's like red, like this one there probably. Yeah, it's like that. So, but, but now you gotta change the, like the grout essentially in between there. Cause it's all just weeds growing up all the time. And then also on the sides, there's like these like dividers that are sticking out. And I just gotta do it, but it's just.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  You don't do it.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  And, and the problem is I'm just skilled enough that I can do all this work. And I just don't have enough money to really be able to get someone else to do it. But I can't do it fast or well. I'm just at that point where I'll spend the day hanging a TV kind of a thing.

• 11:54H. Foley?

  Did you need a new roof or anything like that?

• 11:56Speaker 03

  Eh, no new roof.

• 11:57H. Foley?

  Water heater's good?

• 11:59Speaker 03

  Water heater's good so far. That's ready to go though. It's, it's, it's ri- right on the edge.

• 12:03H. Foley?

  Really?

• 12:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  How's the house?

• 12:05Speaker 03

  The, the house is like late 50s, but it's been renovated a couple of times. But that's good though in America. And after the 80s, it's fucking. Once they started, once they started shipping in all the timber from abroad? Are you kidding me? No way.

• 12:19Speaker 01

  That's all BBC shit.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  That's that, yeah.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  That's all particle board dickhead. I ain't gonna stay in Eric Casey's.

• 12:25H. Foley?

  All that Wuhan wood.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  That stuff's like their studio, that is.

• 12:29Speaker 01

  All over with a breeze. This is American.

• 12:30H. Foley?

  That's goddamn regular drywall.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  This is put up by a union carpenter. Shout out Cousin Mike. It was.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  I hit a nerve, I think. You guys are like, your body has jumped out of your, oh yeah?

• 12:38Speaker 01

  We vote, we vote union around the earth. The walls fall over.

• 12:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got all that, but the so, it gets boring. I like, I'm always in the yard mowing the lawn. I also mow.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  You got a push mower?

• 12:47Speaker 03

  Eh, yeah, I got a push mower.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  How big, how big's the backyard?

• 12:51Speaker 03

  Backyard's tiny, front yard's massive.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  Massive?

• 12:54H. Foley?

  Massive?

• 12:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, big. Um, cause we got a corner house, so it kind of, whatever way it works in. But I wish.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Corner lot. That's a slice of America right there.

• 13:02Speaker 03

  But I wish we were further to the front and had a bigger backyard. So we got this big curly one. But I'm in the yard all the time and then all my neighbors are there. And then there's this old couple that live across the street.

• 13:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, how you getting along with the neighbors?

• 13:13Speaker 03

  They love me. They love, well, I'm just a small talk.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  Americans love an Irish guy though.

• 13:17Speaker 03

  But I'm always just in, and I'll go up, talk to them. I've introduced myself to every single person. I dragged my wife around. We gave away, like, we gave pie to all the neighbors and she was like. She was like, we're not doing that. I was like, we're fucking doing it. And knocked door to door and go, hey, neighbor, number fucking seven. Give us the, here's my number. You ever need me?

• 13:33H. Foley?

  Where'd you get the pies?

• 13:35Speaker 03

  Um, Delicious Orchards.

• 13:38H. Foley?

  Okay, so you went.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Colts Neck, New Jersey, the best of the best.

• 13:41H. Foley?

  You went to a bakery?

• 13:42Speaker 03

  Went to the bakery.

• 13:42H. Foley?

  Different flavors? Blueberry, peach? What'd you do?

• 13:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, a little bit of different flavors.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  How many pies did you buy?

• 13:48Speaker 03

  Um.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Like five, six pies?

• 13:50Speaker 03

  There was like seven. So we also gave out like some brownies and some donuts depending on how, how it got further from the house.

• 13:55Speaker 01

  Right.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  The, the, the amount of investment got lower and lower. Yeah. So you didn't, you don't do that here? Anyway, but all the neighbors know me. They all have my number. They all love me. Yeah, I guess so. No, this is good though. This is, you never know your neighbor.

• 14:07H. Foley?

  So you went around knocking on people's doors, hey, I'm calling, this is my wife Jessica, we live over here.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, we just moved in. Well, yeah. If you ever need us, here's the number.

• 14:16H. Foley?

  Really?

• 14:17Speaker 03

  And now they're, and now some of them loved it. Some of them hated it. Some of them, some of them loved it to the point that if they're in the yard, they'll wait and we waving and they'll wait and wait and wait until you see, you know, you go, you know?

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Really?

• 14:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, they, cause they feel rude. Sometimes it's nice when you see your neighbor and you're both looking the wrong way and you're kinda gonna go, you can kinda hustle in real quick. Yeah.

• 14:35H. Foley?

  That's very classy.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  Most of my day I'm spent in the yard, mowing the lawn. I don't pay someone even though I probably earn more working than I would pay for it. But I just wanna make my own.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  For sure. Mowing, mowing the lawn anymore with the, with the speed they can do it.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, it feels stupid.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  It's not like a one guy with a push mower. It's like a, a team of three guys coming, it's done in 15 minutes.

• 14:53H. Foley?

  But that's very cathartic. Plus if you got the small mower, you could do nice lines.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  That's the plan.

• 14:57H. Foley?

  Going diagonal and, and, and that front yard with the corner lot get beat?

• 15:01Speaker 01

  Corner lot? There, I didn't know that.

• 15:03H. Foley?

  But you can always get it done on a Friday before you leave or whatever.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, it just takes, it's a time. And then at first you're like.

• 15:08Speaker 01

  How long does it take you? Front to back trimming, cleaning, sweeping, blowing, whatever?

• 15:12H. Foley?

  You have a bagger on it? You got a bagger?

• 15:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, the thing on the back, you gotta empty into it, yeah.

• 15:16H. Foley?

  Where's that going?

• 15:17Speaker 03

  That's going in the regular trash.

• 15:20Speaker 03

  That's going in the trash every Tuesday. That you're not supposed to, that's going in the trash you're not supposed to, yeah.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Uh, okay, a few questions. It's not, it's not.

• 15:27H. Foley?

  This is great. I love that.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is, this is what we're talking about. What kind of, uh, mower is it?

• 15:33Speaker 03

  Um, I just bought it. It's a.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  It's not electric, is it? It's gas?

• 15:36Speaker 03

  No, it's electric.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  It's electric?

• 15:38Speaker 03

  Electric, yeah.

• 15:39H. Foley?

  You got a big extension cord, huh?

• 15:40Speaker 03

  It's not, it's battery. It's battery, battery.

• 15:42H. Foley?

  Battery?

• 15:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, battery's the, all the.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  I think that's what, the battery power now is crazy.

• 15:48H. Foley?

  Like battery, like what, like that you'd stick in a drill?

• 15:50Speaker 03

  You charge it like, yeah, you take it out like you would a drill, you charge it.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  What color is it? What color is the mower?

• 15:55Speaker 03

  It's like gray and green kind of thing.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  Is it Ryobi?

• 15:58Speaker 03

  Evo? No, Ryobi's nonsense. I bought one and I sent it back. I said, I couldn't, never. I sent it back and I go get, and they were like, it's a shite. I can't.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  Shite.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  No, cause it wouldn't even last. The battery wouldn't last the whole place. It was, it was, they were dodgy. Ryobi's cheap. Ryobi's like impulse of woman.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Eco Power Plus Touch Drive. That one?

• 16:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, there we go, baby. That's, that's the one.

• 16:18H. Foley?

  $549 retail.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Ace hardware.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  That's not, no, no, no. Mine, mine was like a $1,200 guy.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  $1,200? I'm doing it every week. Are you kidding me? So something more like this, the 800 series?

• 16:31H. Foley?

  Did you get a weed whacker too?

• 16:32Speaker 03

  The 800 series is what we got. And I got, yeah, I got a weed whacker too.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  No, you got the 1300 series probably.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  Maybe. I'm, I can't really.

• 16:37H. Foley?

  That's what he's got, that thing.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  You got, tell you got the blades that just spit.

• 16:40H. Foley?

  He's got a mule out there?

• 16:41Speaker 03

  If I'm doing the whole yard properly with the, if I'm doing the whole yard properly with the weed whacker in line up, it can, it can take about two hours. But if, if I'm just rallying through the grass and I move on, it's like front and back, it's like an hour fifteen. With this good one.

• 16:54H. Foley?

  Do you ever do one, one day and the backyard the next day?

• 16:57Speaker 03

  I have to do that. And also.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  Just get the front done for, for appearance.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. And I've been on the road too where it's like three weeks go by and I've, I had a neighbor once time, he goes, I almost did it for you.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Oh, that's the worst.

• 17:09Speaker 03

  Shout out Steve. Shout out old man Steve. Old man Steve's the best. Like, but he's like old man, he's like 72.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  I got Roger.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  Roger next door, 72 retired guy. He's the eyes and ears of the block.

• 17:21H. Foley?

  What's the front of the house?

• 17:22Speaker 03

  If I leave the trash out too long, he'll just wheel it up for you, you know what I mean? He's just like peeping out. He goes, I better go over and help him out. Yeah. Shout out to Steve.

• 17:29H. Foley?

  You're in there with a hot toddy, fucking looking out the window?

• 17:32Speaker 03

  I'm waiting for, I go, Steve, you didn't bring my trash in today.

• 17:34H. Foley?

  And grab the mail, will you?

• 17:35Speaker 01

  You haven't had to do a winter yet, have you? Snow, snow clear?

• 17:39Speaker 03

  No, no, but he's the winter guy. He's the, he has all the snow.

• 17:42H. Foley?

  What, he's got a plow?

• 17:42Speaker 03

  He's got, he's got all the good stuff, yeah.

• 17:44H. Foley?

  Really? So you get him over there to knock it out?

• 17:47Speaker 03

  Well, hopefully. I gotta, I gotta fucking get him maybe a little bit more pie.

• 17:50H. Foley?

  Couple more pies.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  This is, this is where it all fucking starts.

• 17:52H. Foley?

  That's a real smart idea. That's a classy move right there, Luke. See that?

• 17:56Speaker 01

  This is what you got. You got the Eco Power Plus 1100 series. 22 inches, 56 volt battery. Self-propelled lawn mower kit, battery charger.

• 18:05Speaker 03

  Very similar to that, yeah, at least. Anyway, if it's not that one, it's, it's, it's, it's, maybe it's an inch smaller, but whatever. That's the one, yeah. And then I have the weed whacker.

• 18:13H. Foley?

  If you get it to a certain, if you get it to a certain point and you're on top of it, you don't need the bagger. You can just.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can just blow it right on the, right on the grass.

• 18:20Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 18:21H. Foley?

  You know what I mean?

• 18:21Speaker 03

  It's not, it's not worth it though, is it?

• 18:23H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 18:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  No, because the, the mulch will, makes the grass below it die, doesn't it?

• 18:27Speaker 01

  No, that's what I'm saying. If, if it's not that long.

• 18:30H. Foley?

  You stay on top, you can't wait fucking three weeks.

• 18:31Speaker 03

  But how many, how many days? That's like every other day probably, isn't it?

• 18:34Speaker 01

  I mean, probably once a week maybe?

• 18:35Speaker 03

  That's, no, really?

• 18:37H. Foley?

  You know, black guy getting there.

• 18:38Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't trust this. I don't trust you.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  Getting a sheep bump.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  Touch it up a little, yeah. Yeah, maybe.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  Uh, no, yeah, yeah, cuz my, they don't bag my, like, I have a crew that comes and do it. They don't bag mine. Yeah, things are going alright.

• 18:54H. Foley?

  It's like forty bucks.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  I think it's forty bucks.

• 18:56Speaker 03

  It doesn't matter.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  It's forty bucks a cut.

• 18:57Speaker 03

  It doesn't matter.

• 18:58Speaker 01

  And in the summer, they come like-

• 18:59Speaker 03

  Where's your manhood?

• 19:00Speaker 01

  Every ten days.

• 19:01Speaker 03

  Get off my property, no way.

• 19:02H. Foley?

  I agree with him.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  What are you gonna bring my wife on a date next? No, I cut my, I cut my fuck on.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  You'll take her out, will you?

• 19:08Speaker 03

  Nah, I'm busy, I'm busy cutting the lawn, I can't.

• 19:11H. Foley?

  You wanna see a real man, huh?

• 19:12Speaker 01

  I'm not there enough, I'm he, I'm in-

• 19:13Speaker 03

  I get it, yeah.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  It's like, if I, if I were to do it, I would be the guy where they'd be, the neighbor would be cutting the grass cuz I can't.

• 19:19Speaker 03

  I just grew up in a place where you only cut your own grass, right?

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Dude, I grew up cutting my grass.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  This is my first, this is my first time having a place. And now, having bought the lawnmower, I'm kind of committed for a couple of years to, I gotta pay that off. That's not, that wasn't cheap.

• 19:31H. Foley?

  Cut the neighbor's yard.

• 19:32Speaker 03

  So there's no point me buying that, yeah. I've started a little business.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  Hey, how's the comedy going? Not bad!

• 19:38Speaker 03

  Colum's landscaping.

• 19:40H. Foley?

  Doing a couple houses in the summer.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  I tried going rogue, I have a new startup.

• 19:44H. Foley?

  Muscle the high school kids out. Yeah, you're done here, punk. Okay, let's talk about bearskin.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  Bearskin!

• 19:50H. Foley?

  Let's get tactical, baby! Gang, getting caught out by sudden bad weather and not having the right coat or the right rain jacket with you? Talk about jam up city.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 20:02H. Foley?

  For some reason, that rain just seems like it takes forever to dry. You're cold, you're freezing, it's not cool.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  No.

• 20:07H. Foley?

  It's not cinematic.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  No.

• 20:09H. Foley?

  You wanna be looking sharp, you wanna be feeling sharp, you wanna be feeling dry, and not anymore, you don't have to worry about that when you got a little bearskin, you know what I'm saying? Weather doesn't wait for anybody to be ready. One minute it's clear, the next minute the temperature drops and the rain moves in.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 20:22H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 20:23Speaker 01

  I feel you, dog.

• 20:24H. Foley?

  That's bad news, like Uncle Hank when he's having a bad day. Get a nice hoodie, nice rain jacket, make sure you're all ready to go with bearskin.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  Uh, bearskin was nice enough to send us some merchandise, and listen, as a tier one operator myself, I'm tactical. I'm, I'm ready for all things happening when I'm traveling. I got the bearskin, I'm moving, I'm cooking, flights delayed.

• 20:45H. Foley?

  Pockets in the right place.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  Boom, I'm barrel rolling over the rental car, I'm doing stuff, dog. And thanks to bearskin, I'm ready for it, you know what I mean? Um, right now, you can get twenty dollars off, uh, the bearskin hoodie 5.0. Just text garbage. I like this, just text garbage to 36912, and they'll send the link straight to your phone. That's garbage to 36912. That's tactical!

• 21:07H. Foley?

  That's tactical.

• 21:08Speaker 01

  That's operator stuff for twenty dollars off. And if you're on the move, which you probably are, a lot of tactical listeners.

• 21:14H. Foley?

  Uh, Roger 26, Roger 26, need a bearskin hoodie.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  They'll hold the deal so when you're ready, so just text garbage to 36912 to get twenty US dollars off your bearskin hoodie.

• 21:24H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 21:26H. Foley?

  Okay, let's talk about BlueChew.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  BlueChew!

• 21:28H. Foley?

  Let's talk about BlueChew. Uncle Hank's not just the spokesman, he's also a client. Gang, you get a little older, you need a little help in the boudoir.

• 21:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:37H. Foley?

  Am I right?

• 21:38Speaker 01

  Bedroom.

• 21:39H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 21:39Speaker 01

  Knockin' boots.

• 21:40H. Foley?

  I mean, you can't, it is a young man's game out there. I can't be chasing people up and down the court every night.

• 21:48H. Foley?

  What do you want from me?

• 21:49Speaker 01

  Shooting underhand and stuff.

• 21:50H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  Listen, there's nothing wrong with a bank shot.

• 21:53H. Foley?

  No, not at all, and I like to go over to BlueChew and get what I need and it gets delivered to my home, Ian's home.

• 21:58Speaker 01

  Confidentially.

• 21:59H. Foley?

  Confidential, I don't want anybody to know my business.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  He don't need to know.

• 22:02H. Foley?

  That's right.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm, he's gonna hear it though.

• 22:05H. Foley?

  She'll know.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:06H. Foley?

  She'll know. So do yourself a favor, gang, if you need a little help in the bedroom, get BlueChew, get that BlueChew gold.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  Not even BlueChew, we're talking BlueChew Gold, baby. BlueChew Gold is the four in one built for mental and physical arousal.

• 22:17H. Foley?

  Four in one.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  Two ingredients get you barking like a horn dog in an old cartoon. Argha! Uh, it's gonna have your eyes popping out of your skull right- Jesus Christ. The other two maximize blood flow in as little as fifteen minutes.

• 22:29H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  I'm talking zero to sixty.

• 22:31H. Foley?

  Blood flow, gang, talking blood flow.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  Six to midnight, uh-

• 22:35H. Foley?

  Like the Ganges.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  Yes, uh, so here it is, baby. Uh, we got a special deal for our listeners, right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for free. How you doing with promo code garbage? That's promo code garbage, you'll receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping for your first order. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. We thank BlueChew for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom debt.

• 22:58H. Foley?

  Yes, we do.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  Okay, love that.

• 23:01H. Foley?

  Is there a garage?

• 23:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:02H. Foley?

  Now, what's in that garage?

• 23:03Speaker 03

  Bunchish crap.

• 23:05H. Foley?

  Like what?

• 23:05Speaker 03

  Uh-

• 23:06H. Foley?

  Cuz you, listen, you didn't-

• 23:07Speaker 03

  So I've got all my tools, I got an old-

• 23:09Speaker 01

  What kind of tools?

• 23:09H. Foley?

  What tools did you have?

• 23:10Speaker 03

  I've got all the tools.

• 23:11H. Foley?

  Why?

• 23:12Speaker 03

  Cuz I do my own housework, yeah.

• 23:14H. Foley?

  But what do you mean? You didn't have any of this at the apartment in the story, I've been in that doing.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  I did, yeah, for sure. You just didn't see it, but I had bags.

• 23:20H. Foley?

  It's a lot of wine and bottle openers.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Lot of Valtrix containers.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  A lot of empty, empty Bud Lights, mostly, yeah.

• 23:29H. Foley?

  You had those growlers in there, I remember, you had like the big pints of beer.

• 23:32Speaker 03

  Did I?

• 23:33H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  I, I have a lot of alcohol, uh, what you call it, accessories, I guess.

• 23:38H. Foley?

  When did you go and get all these tools?

• 23:39Speaker 03

  I just bought them over the years. I used to work in construction, so I had lots of stuff like that, but I bought all the tools myself.

• 23:44H. Foley?

  Are they set up nice?

• 23:44Speaker 03

  No, it's a pile of shit, but I will get it, I will get it. I have like some Ikea tables set up and, uh, like, everything's just dumped on top of that. I got an old, uh, chest of drawers with a broken leg that has just been sitting there since day one. I'll fix that the first day we move in. It's just sitting there, and I just-

• 24:01H. Foley?

  It's got a lawnmower wheel on it.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  I really, I really need a fire! And so, I was about to fix it, but I can't, yeah, so pile of shit like that. There's an old shed that came with the house that I need to rebuild the shed, but I have-

• 24:10H. Foley?

  Is that in the garage?

• 24:11Speaker 03

  That's all folded into the garage. It's like the, you know-

• 24:13Speaker 01

  Oh, like the plastic, the rubber made ones?

• 24:15Speaker 03

  The plastic boxes almost, you know?

• 24:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, those are, those are alright though.

• 24:18H. Foley?

  You got a fence in the backyard?

• 24:20Speaker 03

  Fenced, uh, yeah.

• 24:21H. Foley?

  Fenced in backyard?

• 24:22Speaker 03

  With the neighbors, yeah, so I'm hitting one, two, three neighbors in the corner, cuz it's-

• 24:27H. Foley?

  Is any of the fencing yours or is it all theirs?

• 24:29Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 24:31Speaker 03

  I believe, uh-

• 24:32Speaker 01

  It's theirs.

• 24:32Speaker 03

  It depends, no, no, no, I believe-

• 24:35Speaker 01

  It depends what they say at City Hall, get the maps out.

• 24:38Speaker 03

  I think it depends on the wall, I think that wall, I think this neighbors is the-

• 24:41Speaker 01

  You see the, wait.

• 24:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 24:43Speaker 03

  No, cuz it's all, we have the same, one fence divides the two homes, correct?

• 24:48Speaker 01

  Is it their fence or your fence? If you ask them.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  Well, the thing is-

• 24:51Speaker 01

  Do they have that same fence on the other sides? Or do you have three, like-

• 24:55Speaker 03

  I, that's what I'm saying, is one of the neighbors is my fence, and then I think the other neighbors is their fence. Cuz I have three people touching it. And one of them is only like half a foot, whatever way they divided it up, right? Just, they made a mistake and we got the leftover, whatever, yeah.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  Ah, I see what you're saying.

• 25:10Speaker 03

  That's the old bitch I didn't like now. I went around and gave her some stuff, and she was like, "What? What do you want?" And I was like, "I'm the neighbor," and she was like, "Oh."

• 25:16Speaker 01

  Is there any beef with any of the neighbors?

• 25:17Speaker 03

  No, just that.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Just her.

• 25:18Speaker 03

  Just her.

• 25:19H. Foley?

  Did she take the pie?

• 25:20Speaker 03

  Of course she took the fucking pie, you kidding me? They always do.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  These old birds, they can't get through.

• 25:26H. Foley?

  You got a bunch of laxative in there?

• 25:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:29H. Foley?

  Is the garage connected to the house?

• 25:31Speaker 03

  No.

• 25:32H. Foley?

  No?

• 25:32Speaker 03

  No, well, it's obviously touching, but you gotta walk through to the-

• 25:35Speaker 01

  That's what I got too.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  You gotta, you gotta get the, you gotta go through to the main door.

• 25:39H. Foley?

  What do you mean?

• 25:40Speaker 01

  That must've been a thing of the time.

• 25:41H. Foley?

  You can't get into the house from the garage?

• 25:42Speaker 03

  That's exactly what I mean.

• 25:44Speaker 01

  What do you mean? The thing you just said?

• 25:45Speaker 03

  Did I not say that right?

• 25:46H. Foley?

  You can't get into the house, you, you can't go into the garage and get into the house.

• 25:49Speaker 03

  So if you, if you look at the outside of my house, there's my main door, and then there's the garage.

• 25:53H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  The garage, and you have to walk around, you've gotta walk out, out the front.

• 25:58H. Foley?

  No kidding?

• 25:59Speaker 03

  There's no side thing. But I, I might, we, we have plans to renovate it, but I think, I don't know, I might just move, might not renovate at all, I might just move to a better neighborhood.

• 26:07H. Foley?

  Is that right?

• 26:07Speaker 01

  Really? No, you just bought the fucking house?

• 26:09Speaker 03

  I've been on Rogan, surely that-

• 26:11Speaker 01

  Put those checks to rolling.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  Things are changing.

• 26:15Speaker 03

  What's that, eight, eight hundred dollars from YouTube comes in?

• 26:19Speaker 03

  Oh, baby.

• 26:20H. Foley?

  He's using the lawnmower to renovate?

• 26:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  Uh, okay.

• 26:23H. Foley?

  I love it.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  Uh, inside the house, can we, we walk into the kitchen, can we see your trash can or is it hidden?

• 26:30Speaker 03

  You can see it.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  Where is it?

• 26:31Speaker 03

  In the kitchen?

• 26:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  It's in the kitchen.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  Like on the side of like where?

• 26:35Speaker 03

  Um, I, I don't know, I wish I had a photo to fucking show you.

• 26:38H. Foley?

  Automatic trash can?

• 26:40Speaker 01

  Do you step on it?

• 26:40Speaker 03

  No, no, you step on it, step on it.

• 26:42H. Foley?

  How's that doing?

• 26:42Speaker 03

  It's great, hanging in there. We got two trash cans.

• 26:45H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  Recycle.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Recycle, whatever, yeah.

• 26:47H. Foley?

  Now, how did you do that?

• 26:48Speaker 03

  Is that bad? Should I, should I be hiding it?

• 26:50H. Foley?

  No!

• 26:50Speaker 01

  No, the classier, you, you walk into a rich person's house, you can't see it.

• 26:54Speaker 03

  But I don't like when you have to, you know, when you pull out a drawer and it's like a small one, almost like where they like, their permanent trash can is like, it's like a toilet trash can? That stinks. You need a, you need a big, otherwise you're emptying that all the time. Yeah, you need a full size.

• 27:07H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 27:08Speaker 03

  But people have those hidden?

• 27:09H. Foley?

  If you, if you, if you do renovate the kitchen, that'll probably be in all of that.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna have words with my wife. I didn't notice. See, she's supposed to be the classy one to know, but these stuff are-

• 27:16Speaker 01

  Ask me if you can see my, my, my trash can.

• 27:18Speaker 03

  I don't wanna.

• 27:19Speaker 01

  Do it. You can, actually, we keep it in, we keep it in the living room.

• 27:23H. Foley?

  Mine's an old Philly trash can.

• 27:24Speaker 03

  Like it's Christmas morning, just, it's just in the corner.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  No, but I do have this, it is small, it's not really small, but it's smaller and it's not the, it's not ideal. It's probably two thirds of a regular tall kitchen bag, which I think is a thirty gallon.

• 27:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I like a big one. I like to step on it, boom.

• 27:40H. Foley?

  When you got the-

• 27:41Speaker 01

  Oh, I have another one, sorry.

• 27:42H. Foley?

  Trash removal company. You know what I mean? Did, did they give you trash cans for outside? Do you have the, you have the-

• 27:49Speaker 03

  No, I have to-

• 27:50H. Foley?

  The big wheeled one?

• 27:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, we do have the big wheeled ones for outside, but I have to pay for it or something.

• 27:55H. Foley?

  You do, huh?

• 27:55Speaker 03

  You, yeah, it's like, they give you your first month free, but it's like fifty dollars to get them to deliver the-

• 28:00H. Foley?

  What are they banging you out a month for sanitation removal?

• 28:03Speaker 01

  Sanitation.

• 28:03Speaker 03

  Uh, thirty-three dollars. It's a hundred dollars every three months.

• 28:07H. Foley?

  That's not bad, that's, that's all getting trash taken out?

• 28:10Speaker 01

  I don't think I pay.

• 28:10H. Foley?

  Hundred bucks?

• 28:11Speaker 03

  That's a once, that's once a week for whatever gallons, you know?

• 28:15H. Foley?

  And recyclables too?

• 28:16Speaker 03

  That's a different, that's free, I think, with the, with the town.

• 28:19H. Foley?

  Really?

• 28:19Speaker 03

  I believe so.

• 28:20H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 28:21Speaker 03

  They're not the same company.

• 28:21H. Foley?

  Are you recycling?

• 28:22Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm, oh, yeah. Big hippie, big hippie Colum.

• 28:26H. Foley?

  This is all cans!

• 28:29Speaker 01

  These are bottles!

• 28:31H. Foley?

  Who put all these pies in here?

• 28:34H. Foley?

  Alright, okay, we have an island in the kitchen?

• 28:37Speaker 03

  No.

• 28:38H. Foley?

  No island?

• 28:38Speaker 03

  No room, I don't think.

• 28:39H. Foley?

  Can you eat in the kitchen? Do you have a table in the kitchen?

• 28:41Speaker 03

  No, it's a, like a knocked down wall, so we have a big, uh, you go straight from the kitchen into the, uh, I guess the dining room.

• 28:48H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, the dining room.

• 28:49Speaker 01

  I'm starting to think there's not a house. No, right into the garage.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  Next to the bathroom, right?

• 28:57Speaker 03

  I'm making things up.

• 28:58H. Foley?

  There's no table in the kitchen?

• 29:00Speaker 03

  There's no table.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  There is no kitchen.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  There's, there's, there's, there's a kitchen counter that goes around.

• 29:05H. Foley?

  Shed in the lawnmower.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  We got the kitchen-

• 29:06Speaker 01

  It may or may not contain a grill.

• 29:09H. Foley?

  You got a grill?

• 29:10Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, nice big Weber, baby.

• 29:12Speaker 01

  Weber, did you buy it new or did you buy it used?

• 29:14Speaker 03

  Gift from the in-laws.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  Gift from the in-laws, cuz I, I understand the in-laws do well.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  The in-laws are doing well, from, from my point of view, for sure. For sure.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  From your horse thief family point of view.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  They're banished from Dublin.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  My Peaky Blinders and fucking uncles and yeah, they're doing pretty well. So they got, they dropped a nice gift on the web. And that's my favorite thing in the world to whip out, just grill some chicken out there and then eat outside in the.

• 29:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, you got patio furniture.

• 29:43Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, we got a bunch of shit at the back. Yeah. My wife did great. She went on Facebook Marketplace and scoured the place until she eventually. Yeah. Cause you know what? A lot of these dumb housewives don't have any value in what they're getting rid of, you know? So goes, we got like incredible set for dirt cheap, but they didn't know they had no diff. They, they were like, this is old and trash. And you were like, that's worth thousands of dollars.

• 30:04H. Foley?

  They picked it up in the middle of the night.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  He dressed like cat burglars.

• 30:09Speaker 03

  I got the striped shirt on.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  They've been getting ransacked around the fucking Haslam, New Jersey.

• 30:19Speaker 01

  That's why the neighbors hate you.

• 30:20H. Foley?

  B and E's are up 12%.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  Oh yeah. I dropped the pie off. I'm looking over his shoulder. Is that a safe?

• 30:27Speaker 01

  How do you lock your windows at night? How do you feel?

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Do you have any break-ins lately? Yeah.

• 30:32H. Foley?

  Good stuff.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  I'm a cat burglar. Call him too.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Very nice.

• 30:36H. Foley?

  How many cars we got in the garage in the, in the house?

• 30:38Speaker 03

  Just the one.

• 30:38H. Foley?

  Just the one.

• 30:39Speaker 03

  We're sharing right now.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  What is it?

• 30:40Speaker 03

  And by sharing, I mean she has a car.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  We're shit. It's our car.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  We're sharing her car.

• 30:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 30:47H. Foley?

  So.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  Now.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  But if I had a car, I'd be willing to share it.

• 30:49H. Foley?

  So coming to the city, what do you gotta do?

• 30:52Speaker 03

  I had to drive in with the car or I go to the train station, get the train in.

• 30:56H. Foley?

  How do you get to the train station?

• 30:57Speaker 03

  Well, today, which was a rare one, but she dropped me off the train station. It's five minutes down the road.

• 31:01H. Foley?

  Does she work from the house or does she work?

• 31:03Speaker 03

  Mostly from home. Yeah.

• 31:04H. Foley?

  Nice. Okay. So she's home.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  She's almost.

• 31:05H. Foley?

  So she doesn't really need to go anywhere.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  No.

• 31:07H. Foley?

  Right?

• 31:08Speaker 03

  That's what I'd be saying.

• 31:08H. Foley?

  And you take the car?

• 31:09Speaker 03

  I take the car.

• 31:10H. Foley?

  Nice. But today she dropped you off.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  Today she dropped me off. Yeah.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Do you have your lunch packed up and everything? All right, Colum.

• 31:17H. Foley?

  She has to get the conductor.

• 31:18Speaker 01

  Have fun at comedy school.

• 31:20H. Foley?

  She has to get the conductor to walk you on the train. You're crying.

• 31:26H. Foley?

  I wanna cut the grass again.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  I'm texting. Don't be late this time. Last time I was late, you were late and it was scary.

• 31:33H. Foley?

  Okay. How many bedrooms is the home?

• 31:35Speaker 03

  Uh, four rooms upstairs. So I guess, but like, what's a bedroom really? You know what I mean?

• 31:41Speaker 01

  See this, I don't think, there's no house.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  No, well, we have one of the rooms is like.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  If they're upstairs, any room upstairs is a bedroom.

• 31:47Speaker 03

  Okay. It's a four bedroom.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  I don't know what you guys do in Ireland, bud.

• 31:49H. Foley?

  Four bedroom house.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  Yeah. One of them, one of them, we shower in it.

• 31:53Speaker 01

  One of them has a tub.

• 31:57Speaker 03

  But you know, a couple of pillows. That's, that's nice.

• 31:59Speaker 01

  And here's our, here's our tub bathroom. This is where the shower sleeps.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. We, we got the four rooms.

• 32:05Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 32:05H. Foley?

  How many bathrooms upstairs?

• 32:06Speaker 03

  One. That's small though. That's a small guy.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  I think we have a very similar.

• 32:11Speaker 03

  I think we got a small, but we're thinking of not, cause my wife now, what she does is she'll look at all the other homes that are for sale in the neighborhood.

• 32:17Speaker 01

  Welcome to it.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  And she goes, she goes through those photos and then goes, oh, that's smart.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Knock down this wall. They wanna knock down, these broads have never knocked a wall. They don't even have to swing a hammer.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  They love it.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  They're talking about taking out load bearing walls.

• 32:28Speaker 03

  They think, yeah, they think walls are like an idea, kind of like just like, you know, it's like an emotion. It's like that wall. Let's just get rid of the wall. Let's get a jacuzzi in here. All this type of stuff. And on it, like right, go, I gotta fucking cut the lawn.

• 32:41H. Foley?

  You refinance.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  I gotta go get my wall tools downstairs.

• 32:44Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 32:44H. Foley?

  Hey, refinance. No big deal.

• 32:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. But she'd be like, she looks at other people's homes on, on Zillow and really takes the photo, screenshots it and goes, this is what we could have, you know?

• 32:52Speaker 01

  Now what, what, is there something you learned? That you would do differently? Like, would you go like, all right, I wouldn't buy a house that needs, I would buy it more complete or less like, you know? You see what I'm saying?

• 33:05Speaker 03

  I have, I haven't.

• 33:05Speaker 01

  Haven't learned that lesson yet.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  We haven't really got that far yet. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Um.

• 33:10Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  I don't know what. Yeah. I haven't learned that yet. But I think it was good enough. I think, but we, you know, if it was up to me, we'd be living in fucking Idaho and getting a huge big house.

• 33:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like a big mansion or whatever.

• 33:22Speaker 03

  Although Idaho is probably not a good best example, but sure. Yeah. Exactly. But all our family's in New Jersey. So we're just stuck down there forever.

• 33:27H. Foley?

  Has any of your family come over? Yeah. To see, to stay at the house?

• 33:31Speaker 03

  No, not, no. We, we only just got in, you know? But they all came over for the wedding there, like a year or two ago, whenever that was.

• 33:37H. Foley?

  You didn't have the house yet though.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Didn't have the house yet. No, but.

• 33:40H. Foley?

  I go, you gotta have cousins with plans.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  Hmm. I'm sure.

• 33:43H. Foley?

  Fucking free house in New York, as far as that concerned.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  Yes, it's an hour outside of New York. So let's see.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it's seven hours closer to them.

• 33:50Speaker 03

  Mm hmm.

• 33:51Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm looking forward to get all the, I'll get the big Irish family come over for the summer. Get fucking. They'll, they'll evaporate with it.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  That lawn's gonna be ruined. Took all the carriages on it.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  What do you mean they banned the horse and carriages?

• 34:07Speaker 01

  They're in Central Park getting a ride.

• 34:09Speaker 03

  Yeah. All the neighbors.

• 34:10H. Foley?

  Someone's complaining about the goat shit everywhere.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  Knocking, they go knocking door to door. We're gonna have a fucking bear knuckle fight later on. If you wanna come around, you're more than welcome. More than welcome to come around there now.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  I'm Colum cousin. Can you fight? What?

• 34:24Speaker 03

  I'll look for some ice for me knuckles.

• 34:27H. Foley?

  I love it. How's the fridge?

• 34:29Speaker 03

  Fridge is doing good. Stock. Yeah. It's one of them.

• 34:32H. Foley?

  You got the ice machine?

• 34:34Speaker 03

  No ice machine. No.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  Have you, have you had to replace any appliances yet? Wash or dry? Or is there any of that on the list?

• 34:40Speaker 03

  All of it came in there. Everything, everything came with it. It's all the Samsung stuff. So it makes that silly noise, you know? Every, every single thing in there.

• 34:47H. Foley?

  Samsung. Oh, Samsung.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  Samsung. Yeah. Yeah.

• 34:51H. Foley?

  Any, any repairmen have to come over to the house yet? Have you had anybody over? Any plumbers? Anybody like that?

• 34:55Speaker 03

  And nothing major. Yeah.

• 34:57H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 34:57Speaker 03

  No, nothing major. Just the usual HVAC kind of inspections, things like that.

• 35:02H. Foley?

  And you said the hot water heater is close.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  It's, it's, it's, it's, it's ready to go.

• 35:07H. Foley?

  How?

• 35:07Speaker 03

  So we're just waiting for it to kick the bucket, I guess.

• 35:09H. Foley?

  Does the water go cold at a certain point in the shower?

• 35:11Speaker 03

  No, not yet. No.

• 35:13H. Foley?

  And how many, so there's one bathroom upstairs. How many are downstairs? Just a half a bath?

• 35:17Speaker 03

  Half a bath. Yeah.

• 35:18H. Foley?

  So one and a half bath.

• 35:19Speaker 03

  One and a half.

• 35:19H. Foley?

  Four bedrooms. One's your office?

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Uh, basement is the office.

• 35:22H. Foley?

  Basement?

• 35:23Speaker 03

  Baby. Huge big basement actually.

• 35:25Speaker 01

  Finished?

• 35:25Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah. Finished basement.

• 35:27Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 35:27H. Foley?

  So you have a finished basement?

• 35:29Speaker 03

  Mm hmm.

• 35:29H. Foley?

  Is that where the TV and all that shit is?

• 35:31Speaker 03

  No, that's just where my computer is. There's a, there's a.

• 35:33Speaker 01

  Just a computer.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  There's a treadmill that the, essentially just a huge big fucking.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  Who's, who gave you the treadmill? You didn't have the treadmill?

• 35:39Speaker 03

  It came with the house.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  Dude, these motherfuckers never wanna move the treadmill.

• 35:42Speaker 03

  No one wants to move the treadmill.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  From down there. Oh, that's yours. You go, I don't fucking want that.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  It came with the house for them. It came.

• 35:47H. Foley?

  It's a Peloton. Is it nice?

• 35:48Speaker 03

  No, it's not some fucking, it's just called Mr. Trade or something. I don't know what it is. I've never even looked at it. You know, I don't even know if it turns on. It's just a giant.

• 35:56H. Foley?

  So what's in the other bed?

• 35:57Speaker 03

  It's essentially an ornament.

• 35:58H. Foley?

  What's in the other bedrooms upstairs?

• 36:00Speaker 03

  Just empty beds for when there's guests.

• 36:03H. Foley?

  All other, other three rooms all have beds?

• 36:05Speaker 03

  Uh, one of them's a claw office, as they say, I think.

• 36:08H. Foley?

  A claw office?

• 36:09Speaker 03

  It's a.

• 36:09H. Foley?

  Closet office.

• 36:10Speaker 03

  Closet office. Yeah.

• 36:11H. Foley?

  Is that where, is that where she gets ready?

• 36:13Speaker 03

  That's where she gets ready. Yeah.

• 36:14H. Foley?

  Really?

• 36:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:15H. Foley?

  She has a little vanity in there and all that stuff?

• 36:16Speaker 03

  She has a little vanity. Yeah. She works from home. So she has her little setup there. Yeah. Nice.

• 36:22Speaker 01

  I like that.

• 36:22H. Foley?

  I like it a lot.

• 36:23Speaker 01

  Classy.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  It's a, yeah, no, it's great. Life's great. It's like boring as hell, but it's, it's just classic suburban. Hey Steve.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. You reach an age of, I'm living in the city. I was doing the math. I've lived half of my life in cities, half of my life in the suburbs. Uh, and like directly down the line, 20 years and uh, you get to an age, especially in New York, it's like, the city's not for me. I have to be here for work.

• 36:47Speaker 03

  I'd have to be.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  But like, I don't, I'm not out drinking till 4:00 AM anymore.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  I'd have to be so rich to really enjoy New York at the highest. Like I'd have to have a huge Soho apartment type of thing, you know, to really enjoy living in New.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  For how you want it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

• 37:02H. Foley?

  Have you gotten bombed at the house? Like just at the house?

• 37:05Speaker 01

  Are you drinking or you, or you, sometimes you go on and off the sauce a little bit.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  I actually drank this weekend by mistake. First time in six months.

• 37:12H. Foley?

  So did I.

• 37:14Speaker 03

  Had a couple on the way here by mistake. No, I was, I was in Austin and I, and I was drinking a non-alcoholic beer. And I saw, and they had them all in the whatever. I reached in and grabbed it. I drank the whole thing. Looked down. It was just a regular beer. And I was like, well, we're open now. So. Can't put it, you know?

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Did you then get?

• 37:31Speaker 03

  Yeah. I only had, no, I had like six beers. Fuck, just got tired, went to bed.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:35Speaker 03

  Yeah. I don't know. I think that's just where I am now, which is exactly where I wanna be is have six beers, fall, then fall asleep. I don't want any, any more. That's perfect.

• 37:43H. Foley?

  So you weren't here for the weekend. So no trick or treating. You missed all that?

• 37:46Speaker 03

  No, I missed all the trick or treating unfortunately.

• 37:48H. Foley?

  Did your wife stay home?

• 37:48Speaker 03

  She did. She said it was a little bit of a letdown with the neighbors.

• 37:51Speaker 01

  I didn't get one.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  These kids don't come knocking. They walk by the house. It's like, you almost have to fucking beg them to come.

• 37:56H. Foley?

  You gotta have like the whole, the whole song and dance.

• 37:57Speaker 03

  We had some stuff, song and dancing, but I just don't know what's going on.

• 38:00Speaker 01

  There's not that many kids.

• 38:01Speaker 03

  I don't think it's a good holiday like it used to be.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  So I, I, I just didn't.

• 38:05H. Foley?

  China, we're not populating? Like we're gonna, we're gonna tank?

• 38:07Speaker 01

  One, I, one, that is true. Our gener- my generation is having significantly less kids than previous generations.

• 38:14H. Foley?

  Really?

• 38:14Speaker 03

  What about his generation?

• 38:16H. Foley?

  I don't have kids.

• 38:17Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 38:18H. Foley?

  Luke, you're getting nailed tonight. We're making a baby.

• 38:21Speaker 04

  Americans are having fewer kids.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:22H. Foley?

  Really?

• 38:23Speaker 04

  And fertility rates have fallen.

• 38:24H. Foley?

  Well, what does that mean?

• 38:25Speaker 01

  Put your dick, stop putting your dick in a microwave.

• 38:27Speaker 03

  It used to be kinda like in Ireland, it was like a lawless night of like kids would just dress up and and your parents would go, see you later.

• 38:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  And they would just go out and then one kid would always like blow up a finger from a firework and it was like kind of part of it.

• 38:41Speaker 01

  You were doing mis- I was explaining that to my wife because we, so we were in the burbs and we took our son around with another group of like, it was a family that all had older, you know, kids were.

• 38:49Speaker 03

  Did you have a family? Were you all dressed up as a family?

• 38:51Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no.

• 38:53Speaker 03

  I like that. You're dressed up as a fork and the kid's a plate or whatever.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  No, we didn't.

• 39:00Speaker 03

  That's a family, that's a good one.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  We're all pumpkins or whatever.

• 39:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly, yeah.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  I would do it if he asked. Like if next year, if he's like, I want to be Spider-Man and you be.

• 39:08Speaker 03

  A web.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  Fucking.

• 39:10Speaker 03

  Or whatever, yeah.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's like, you also be.

• 39:12H. Foley?

  Want you to be Mary Jane?

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Kissing me upside down. These kids are freaks.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Well, he asked, you know?

• 39:19Speaker 01

  Got hardened hips, so you gotta do it, you know? Um, I would do it if he asked, but so we walked around and we went through this loop through with a group of people. There's probably 15, 20 of us. We didn't run into one other group of kids or parents. Not one. And we didn't get anybody at our house. We live on more of a, a busier street traffic wise, so I don't think people do it. Walked there, um, but not one other group. And you know, we went 20 houses and didn't see one other kid.

• 39:49Speaker 03

  And also, when I grew up though, it was a lot of make your own costume.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 39:55Speaker 03

  Like in the 90s in Ireland, everyone was, your costume was made by your parents. You would say a few weeks in advance, you go, hey, I want to dress up as whatever. And your parents go, okay. And then they would take out a black trash bag and tape that around you. And then everyone would just be essentially wearing a black trash bag. And then you'd have to pretend like, no, I'm Batman.

• 40:14Speaker 01

  I'm a clown.

• 40:14Speaker 03

  And I'm an astronaut. It's like your parents just shoved shit on you and drew a little thing on your head that said fucking astronaut. And you go, good, go on.

• 40:22Speaker 01

  Said NASA.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  And you have, yeah, and there was no buy in a costume. That was insane. That would be insane.

• 40:27Speaker 01

  We would get like, we, my mom made a good amount, but then it would also be like the masks. It would just, at some age you go, just get the, I want this scream mask or whatever. And then you would use that. My brother would get a mask one year. I would use that the next year. We just, she would buy three masks. It would last five years.

• 40:42Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:43Speaker 01

  Um, but also too, all these kids are doing the trunk or treat, which is.

• 40:48H. Foley?

  How the fuck is that?

• 40:49Speaker 01

  They don't really go out.

• 40:51Speaker 03

  So they go to, I.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  So everybody pulls their car into a soccer field, pops their trunk.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:56Speaker 01

  And they decorate and they go one to one eating, getting candy that way.

• 41:00H. Foley?

  It's the dumbest shit I ever heard.

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, I get it.

• 41:03Speaker 03

  I feel sorry for these kids. They don't know the joys.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  Well, my, because I was explaining to my wife, this is her first suburban one, like experiencing. And she's like, I just don't get it. I go, this isn't what I grew up with.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  What was it like?

• 41:14Speaker 01

  There was one moment where like the kids were running through the front yard from one door to another and everybody was screaming. I went, that's it. I go, this feels like, that's what you would see in the movies. They were like running under trees.

• 41:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  You know, all the.

• 41:25H. Foley?

  That's when the BB gun comes out.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  I'm like that. That's when one of you gets pulled into the woods by the fucking monsters. Uh, but I'm like, that's a, it was so sterile.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just a week, you know? And sure, they're all safer and all that, but like, is it worth it? You know? I think.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  You know, what's the cost?

• 41:42Speaker 03

  Halloween's kinda needs to be a little dangerous.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  A little edgy.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  Some kids go, some, some kids go missing.

• 41:47H. Foley?

  I'm gonna get my shit checked. See what I got.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah? I can smell it from here. It's bad.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  It's bad and mixed with Mountain Dew.

• 41:54Speaker 03

  That is bad.

• 41:56H. Foley?

  My pee has been very sweet lately.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  You got a lot of sperm, but they're lazy as hell. They're fucking, they're hungover.

• 42:02H. Foley?

  Like summer flowers, it smells like.

• 42:03Speaker 01

  Your pee?

• 42:03Speaker 03

  Your pee?

• 42:04H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  Sweet?

• 42:05H. Foley?

  Sweet.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Sweet's nice. Sweet's nice. It's, it means you're, it means you're dying, but it is.

• 42:10Speaker 01

  It means you're on your way out.

• 42:11Speaker 03

  It's nice for the people around you. Nice for the people in your life.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  It's nice for the nurses.

• 42:15H. Foley?

  Trying to piss yourself in the casket. Kim, let's talk about mod.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  Mod, mod, mod.

• 42:19H. Foley?

  Gang, this episode is brought to you by mod. Mod prescribes a once or twice daily modofenol drink that keeps you energized, focused and alert throughout the day. Here's the mechanism. That's a very professional word, the mechanism. Energy drinks with caffeine temporarily block endosine, andocene.

• 42:38Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 42:39H. Foley?

  Okay, the chemical that makes you tired. It builds up and when the caffeine wears off, what do you think happens, pinhead?

• 42:45Speaker 01

  Kaboom, the crash comes.

• 42:46H. Foley?

  Boom, like 1929, the crash.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 42:51H. Foley?

  In history, all right? Modofenol works differently. It engages multiple pathways in your brain, dopamine, norephrine, histamine and orexin to achieve steady energy and alertness for up to 10 to 12 hours. How about that?

• 43:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:08H. Foley?

  Do yourself a favor, get that mod. What are we doing here?

• 43:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was invented in the 1970s and since has been used by the highest performers on and off the planet. Soldiers, pilots, astronauts aboard the space station, all use it, uh, for their, where they need full concentration and alertness. Listen, they were nice enough to send us over a couple two treat things.

• 43:26H. Foley?

  Dialed in.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  How you doing? Focused, in, no crash, clean, pivoting, boom, boom, boom, boom. Alert is the word I like to use. Visit mod.com, that's M-O-D dot com for a free consultation to get 10% off your first order, plus free shipping with the promo code garbage. That's promo code garbage at M-O-D dot com. Do it. See their site for important safety information and we thank mod for sponsoring the pod.

• 43:49H. Foley?

  Yes, we do.

• 43:50Speaker 01

  Now, back to the show.

• 43:50H. Foley?

  Back to the show. Kim, let's talk about DraftKings.

• 43:53Speaker 01

  DraftKings.

• 43:53H. Foley?

  Gang, as you know, football has a way of turning one game into a full week of conversation and DraftKings keeps you close to it all. DraftKings Sports App is now live in all 50 states. I'll say it again. DraftKings Sports App is now live in all 50 states. We're talking everywhere, baby. Follow the teams you love, keep up with the biggest games and experience the excitement of football all week long.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, one app, every sport, all 50 states. New DraftKings customer, sign up with code AYG, spend just five bucks and get 200 in rewards with the 21 days, includes all markets. That's code AYG in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MYRESSET. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777. Visit ccpg.org on half a Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet, tax, pass through, may apply in Illinois. 21+, void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings predictions involves a risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offered void in New York. Bet to get bonus bets

• 44:56Speaker 01

  that expire in seven days. Trade to get prediction dollars that expire in one year. $50 in rewards issued every seven days via click to claim for 21 days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at dkng.co slash offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free two-play sports contest. Availability varies by state. Now, back to the show.

• 45:18H. Foley?

  Back to the show.

• 45:21H. Foley?

  What's the bet upstairs? We got a king size?

• 45:23Speaker 03

  Not yet, no, queen.

• 45:25H. Foley?

  Got a queen?

• 45:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, but we're hoping to level up if we can.

• 45:28H. Foley?

  You got two nightstands next to each one?

• 45:30Speaker 03

  Uh, yes.

• 45:31H. Foley?

  You got, you got the TV in there?

• 45:32Speaker 03

  We got the TV in there.

• 45:33H. Foley?

  Ceiling fan?

• 45:34Speaker 03

  No ceiling fan, no, no ceiling fan.

• 45:36H. Foley?

  Are we going to bed with the TV on? We watch a TV snuggled up?

• 45:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, I don't like that though, but my wife's upset. That's like how she does it. So we just, that kind of just took over the.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  I want to go back. What's the car? And did she own the, how long has she owned the car? Or does she?

• 45:50Speaker 03

  Oh, it's a new car.

• 45:51H. Foley?

  New car?

• 45:52Speaker 01

  She just got a new car.

• 45:53Speaker 03

  She got a new car.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  You don't refer to it as you're both.

• 45:55H. Foley?

  Mom and dad?

• 45:56Speaker 03

  It's not my car. She bought a car.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  She bought a car.

• 45:58Speaker 03

  And we share the payments on it, but it's her car.

• 46:01H. Foley?

  No kidding?

• 46:01Speaker 01

  Really?

• 46:02H. Foley?

  What are we, what are we driving? What is it?

• 46:03Speaker 03

  Subaru Forester.

• 46:04H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 46:05Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 46:06H. Foley?

  Family car?

• 46:06Speaker 03

  Nice, family little.

• 46:07H. Foley?

  I love that.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, it's good, yeah. I'm glad she bought it.

• 46:12H. Foley?

  Do you have?

• 46:13Speaker 03

  You know, I'd hate to be, I'd hate to be the opposite of going, we have a car. And then she'd ever go, well, I actually bought it. I go, I fucking know.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  I know. Well, she's gonna come on next week and go, actually, I bought the car. That would just be a conversation.

• 46:24H. Foley?

  Right now?

• 46:25Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't need her to have it. I'm an honest man.

• 46:29H. Foley?

  Do we have a, so we got two, we have two toilets.

• 46:32Speaker 01

  I knew there was something up about that car. It didn't sit right.

• 46:35Speaker 03

  Toilets.

• 46:35H. Foley?

  You got one upstairs, one downstairs. You got one and a half bath.

• 46:38Speaker 03

  Uh-huh.

• 46:38H. Foley?

  Is there a particular one that you prefer to handle your?

• 46:42Speaker 03

  Dumping?

• 46:42H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 46:43Speaker 03

  Um.

• 46:44H. Foley?

  Your affairs.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  No, I, I'll go either one. I'm, I'm easy peasy.

• 46:47H. Foley?

  One that's more comfortable? You like to stretch out in or anything? Where's the one downstairs?

• 46:52Speaker 03

  Uh.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  Next to the garage.

• 46:54Speaker 03

  It's so hard to describe it. It's just in the, it's in the.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  It's in the house.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  Like you've not been over. I don't know what to tell you.

• 47:02H. Foley?

  Is it like?

• 47:02Speaker 01

  You know when you walk in?

• 47:03H. Foley?

  I walk in.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  It's, so when you walk in, the stairs go straight up.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  We have a very similar.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  As soon as you walk in, the stairs go straight up and then the back of the house is behind it. So you walk around and then it's.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  It's right behind the stairs.

• 47:14Speaker 03

  It's right, like to the right of the stairs before you go outside. And then it kind of connects to the kitchen, which would be back around that way, kind of.

• 47:21H. Foley?

  Let me ask you this.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  The west wing. Nah, the east wing.

• 47:24H. Foley?

  Let me ask you this. Let's say you have a little.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  It's obviously much bigger.

• 47:27H. Foley?

  Let's say you have a little get together at the house.

• 47:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:29H. Foley?

  Holidays, whatever.

• 47:30Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 47:31H. Foley?

  I'm over there.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  Are you gonna have a party, by the way? A housewarming party?

• 47:34Speaker 03

  Well, we were gonna have one and then my wife got sick, so we canceled it. And then they just had a Halloween party while I was out of town. So I guess that kind of.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  They don't like you very much, do they? Uh, what's, they just look at your wedding, they look at your tour dates and go, oh, you know what? We're gonna have a party when he's in Toledo at the Funny Bone.

• 47:49H. Foley?

  Wait, you were gonna have a housewarming party?

• 47:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, but we had to cancel. My wife came down with the flu or something, so we canceled. What? I didn't invite a single human.

• 47:56H. Foley?

  What the hell?

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Other than my wife's family.

• 47:59H. Foley?

  You did? Man.

• 48:01Speaker 03

  Would you come? Honestly, honestly, she's got such a big Italian family, it'd be, it'd be homeless hard.

• 48:07H. Foley?

  She's Italian.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  She's Italian, yeah.

• 48:08H. Foley?

  She's Catholic.

• 48:09Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, of course. Are you kidding me?

• 48:10Speaker 01

  Are you Catholic?

• 48:12Speaker 03

  Hell, yeah.

• 48:12H. Foley?

  What are you talking about, huh?

• 48:13Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 48:14Speaker 01

  Come on, baby. You can go either way, I don't know if he's north or south.

• 48:16Speaker 03

  I am and it, I am and it suits me.

• 48:19H. Foley?

  Is that new?

• 48:20Speaker 03

  This is new.

• 48:21H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  Things are going well.

• 48:22H. Foley?

  Treat yourself.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  Treated myself.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  How much that set you back?

• 48:25Speaker 03

  Have a guess.

• 48:26Speaker 01

  $79.99.

• 48:28Speaker 03

  Have a guess.

• 48:29H. Foley?

  Two grand.

• 48:30Speaker 01

  No way.

• 48:31Speaker 03

  A little, a little less.

• 48:32H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 48:33Speaker 03

  It was $12.99 on Amazon.

• 48:34H. Foley?

  $12.99, same as the lawnmower.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  $12.99.

• 48:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, this is like an Amazon piece of shit. This will, this will cause me a long-term brain damage. This, this will slowly leak into my bloodstream.

• 48:47Speaker 01

  He's not having kids.

• 48:47H. Foley?

  Everybody's wearing fake jewelry these days.

• 48:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 48:50H. Foley?

  It's on the rappers' way. You're robbed, they're stealing your shit. That's what T-Pain said.

• 48:56Speaker 01

  You look like you're in T-Pain.

• 49:01H. Foley?

  A little sciatic.

• 49:04Speaker 01

  A bit of a crank in my neck.

• 49:06H. Foley?

  Alright, so you have, we got a party going on. It's the winter time, everybody's inside, lot of heat. You know what I mean? Sweaters. I gotta use the bathroom.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  Do you, do you, hold on, hold on. If you had to use the bathroom, the comments, the rude, sharp comment he would make would be blistering.

• 49:25H. Foley?

  Do I have to use the one downstairs in front of everybody, or can I go upstairs and use it up there?

• 49:29Speaker 03

  You'd have to trot yourself upstairs. But, um, yeah, you'd have to go upstairs. Well, that's where the, uh, that's where the, um...

• 49:34Speaker 01

  Toilet paper is.

• 49:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's where the ex is, the tushy is.

• 49:39H. Foley?

  Oh, you want me to go freshen up? You'd let me use your bidet?

• 49:42Speaker 03

  Why not? You're not supposed to? What are the rules on that?

• 49:45Speaker 01

  It's intimate to me, I don't know.

• 49:48Speaker 03

  It's not backwashed water, so I don't think...

• 49:50H. Foley?

  Who cares? You'd want to know that that was squirting up my ass?

• 49:53Speaker 03

  I'd feel better about you sitting, I'd feel better about you sitting on my couch. If you...

• 49:57Speaker 01

  Ah, there you go, take it outside.

• 49:58H. Foley?

  Put a clean ass.

• 49:59Speaker 03

  When you walk in, I go, "Quick, bidet, you gotta bidet."

• 50:02Speaker 01

  Hey, big dog.

• 50:02Speaker 03

  You gotta bidet yourself upstairs before, I wash you down like a prison.

• 50:06H. Foley?

  I haven't gone yet today, get up there.

• 50:11H. Foley?

  Alright, very classy of you. Thank you, I appreciate that. Some people don't let me in their homes.

• 50:17Speaker 03

  I don't know what the rules are. I'd hate to have a house where you can't have a ship, because it's kind of part of the house.

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Well, no, his, his, the whole thing is he wants to, this all started because he was at a Christmas party. Ate like fifteen meatballs, buffalo chicken dip, fucking hoagie dip.

• 50:34Speaker 03

  Some leftover curry.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  He did a lot, yeah, he did a lot of work to himself, and then they didn't want him to go in the master bedroom.

• 50:41Speaker 03

  Because they had seen what was coming out.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're just like, and this was at, dude, you were at, you were 450 at this time.

• 50:47H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ!

• 50:48Speaker 03

  This is the master bedroom, though.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  I ain't talking the time of day.

• 50:50Speaker 03

  This is a private bedroom, this is the bedroom.

• 50:52H. Foley?

  This is the master bedroom.

• 50:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you can have that, that's fine.

• 50:55H. Foley?

  I get, if you, when you, when you guys, when you guys remodel and you got the master bedroom in the bedroom?

• 50:59Speaker 03

  No, no one's walking through the bedroom to you.

• 51:00H. Foley?

  Nobody's walking through the bedroom?

• 51:01Speaker 03

  Unless it's like a particular, like, oh...

• 51:03Speaker 01

  Giving a tour of the house, and this is the oldie. Your shirts off.

• 51:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, shirts on, pants off, newspaper, do you mind? Do you mind? You're reading the Irish Weekly or whatever?

• 51:14H. Foley?

  The neighbor said I could use this.

• 51:16Speaker 03

  The Dublin Herald I have on the table.

• 51:20H. Foley?

  Did you know?

• 51:21Speaker 03

  Pat O'Shea spoke in prison.

• 51:23H. Foley?

  Can you believe these sons of bitches? Trying chintayne.

• 51:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, you slide the door open.

• 51:29Speaker 01

  I'm Collins, bro.

• 51:33H. Foley?

  You must be the little lady's mom, huh?

• 51:36Speaker 03

  I get up.

• 51:36H. Foley?

  The bidet squirting through the air.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  Smells like a bear died.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ.

• 51:44Speaker 03

  Welcome to the neighborhood, yeah.

• 51:46H. Foley?

  Alright, we gonna do, I'm sorry, we gonna do Christmas decorations and all that stuff, do the tree, all that? You gonna do the outside lights?

• 51:54Speaker 03

  I, I don't know. I guess we'll see. First year, so I gotta figure out how much work it's gonna be, but...

• 51:59H. Foley?

  I get some lights on.

• 52:00Speaker 03

  We're gonna do something. We're gonna do something for sure, but I don't have like, I don't even know where you get a big ladder. Like, how much?

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Listen, you're gonna push, you're gonna push back, can I recommend, there's companies out there.

• 52:10Speaker 03

  I think I might have to do that.

• 52:11Speaker 01

  Dude, I think I pay five forty?

• 52:14Speaker 03

  Five, five hundred bucks?

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Five hundred and forty bucks. Yeah, for the lights, he comes, he fucking strings them up, he fucking runs them, he puts them on a timer.

• 52:23H. Foley?

  Are they your lights?

• 52:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're my lights, cut to my, I mean, they're like, simple, but they're, and then he keeps them, comes back the next year.

• 52:29Speaker 03

  I buy the lights and then...

• 52:30Speaker 01

  He buy, you buy, he goes, hey, he'll send you a picture of your house, and this is what my guy did, and goes, "Where do you want them?" You go, "Here, here, here, here and here." And he goes, "Cool, I'll come, set them up, gone, timer, everything's hidden, it's very much worth it."

• 52:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:44Speaker 01

  Because there's a thing with, it's like, they say if you make like, more than like twenty-five dollars an hour, you should not be on your roof.

• 52:50Speaker 03

  I guess I'm going on my roof.

• 52:53H. Foley?

  What he say, pick up one of those ladders?

• 52:56Speaker 01

  Anybody got a, extend your ladder?

• 52:58H. Foley?

  I want a house now.

• 53:00Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:02Speaker 01

  Let's get you on ground floor, how about that? Let's get you from subterranean to ground floor.

• 53:07H. Foley?

  I couldn't afford the ladder.

• 53:08Speaker 03

  Let's start with Netflix. Let's, let's get you a Netflix subscription first. Let's see if you can handle that. Let's see if you can handle that.

• 53:15H. Foley?

  I got that.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  Where would you go? Where would you live?

• 53:18H. Foley?

  I don't know. I'd move out by you, it sounds pretty chill.

• 53:20Speaker 03

  You'd like it, dude.

• 53:21H. Foley?

  Pies and shit. Take a dump in any house I want.

• 53:25Speaker 03

  You buy yourself a pie when you move there?

• 53:29Speaker 01

  You knock on Collins' door, "I'm here for my pie?"

• 53:31Speaker 03

  I heard, so I just moved into the neighborhood, but I heard you gave out pies last year?

• 53:34H. Foley?

  You're the pie guy, huh?

• 53:36Speaker 01

  Ah, that's good.

• 53:38H. Foley?

  I love it, I'm happy for you, man.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  Um, do you carry a Venmo balance by any chance? Is there anything in your Venmo right now? Are you like, you get it in there?

• 53:47Speaker 03

  Whatever's left over, so there's probably like eighty dollars there. Yeah, I keep it, I keep it, because it goes out fast enough, yeah.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Right. That is kind of nice when you go, "Oh, I gotta Venmo somebody fifty bucks," and you go in and there's sixty-two in there, and it goes, "Use balance," you go, "That's a freebie right there."

• 54:01Speaker 03

  It would have to be over a thousand, or eight hu, it would have to be over eight hundred for me to take it out. For me to transfer, because it's gonna, I'm gonna send it.

• 54:10Speaker 01

  I don't even have that much, I don't use it that much anymore.

• 54:14H. Foley?

  It's a good place to, say, say, you got, you may, pass, do a couple of things or something like that, you know what I mean? The bank automatically yanks something out of your account, they can't get it from your Venmo.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  Talk about the bank yanks stuff out of your account, you want a house.

• 54:29Speaker 03

  I didn't, yeah, I guess it's, yeah.

• 54:30H. Foley?

  Good little place to park a couple of bucks.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  You got eighty bucks there.

• 54:33Speaker 03

  I know, I got my sixty-one, ninety-nine.

• 54:35H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you got in there? Probably like three grand.

• 54:38Speaker 04

  It's like a hundred, a hundred bucks or something.

• 54:40H. Foley?

  Really?

• 54:40Speaker 03

  But this guy, he probably has all your money invested, right? That you've got that type of face. You, you think of the seven hundred in there as wasted interest that you could have in your IRA account or whatever.

• 54:49Speaker 04

  That's like finding a twenty in the coat.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  Should be in the Roth IRA.

• 54:52H. Foley?

  He's like a sixty, he's like a sixty-five year old man.

• 54:55Speaker 03

  It's crazy.

• 54:55H. Foley?

  It's all tucked away, IRAs and T-bonds and whatever.

• 54:58Speaker 03

  You're like a fourteen year old boy.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  You're like a fourteen year, ah, I'm not gonna say.

• 55:02Speaker 04

  Freaky or Friday.

• 55:08H. Foley?

  I got no Forrester, I'll tell you that.

• 55:10Speaker 03

  Me neither.

• 55:13Speaker 03

  My wife does.

• 55:14H. Foley?

  My wife's doing very well.

• 55:14Speaker 03

  You're not listening to the story, the wife's, my wife's crushing it.

• 55:17H. Foley?

  Now, what's the grocery store situation out there?

• 55:19Speaker 01

  Shoprite guy, out there, North Jersey Shoprite, gotta be Shoprite town.

• 55:23Speaker 03

  We're a little bit of Everton kind of, actually. We don't really have any loyalty. Well, Costco is right around the corner. There's also a little around the corner, I go to sometimes. A Lidl, yeah.

• 55:31H. Foley?

  Remind you of home, I used to.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  And then there's a...

• 55:33Speaker 01

  I don't know, do you guys have Lidl in Ireland?

• 55:35Speaker 03

  I think there's a Shoprite I go to, or Key Foods or something, one of them nearby.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  Not a Key Foods.

• 55:38H. Foley?

  Key Foods?

• 55:40Speaker 03

  It must be a Shoprite I go to, yeah. I don't, I'm always calling them the wrong name, too, and like, I just, I don't know what it is about my brain.

• 55:46Speaker 01

  You didn't grow up with them. So it's like tough to...

• 55:48Speaker 03

  I think, I'm a little stupid, too, it's just like, I'm off the Shoprite, and my wife's like, "You're not, you're not, you're going to Key Foods," and I'm like, "I don't know." I don't want to live in the world where I know the name of the grocery store, I'm like, just go in.

• 56:00Speaker 01

  You do the self-checkout, or you, do you like waiting in line?

• 56:02Speaker 03

  It really depends on, I guess, how much, but I, I, I hate the self-checkout.

• 56:06Speaker 01

  Really?

• 56:07Speaker 03

  I hate, no, but when there's a mistake, and then you gotta ask the dipshit, and she's off telling her friend a story about this documentary she watched and didn't understand, I'm like, "Oh, yo, get your drug-addicted head over here, and fucking scan my bell peppers, I got places to be."

• 56:23H. Foley?

  Keep saying bananas.

• 56:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I get, I get cross, and then there's no help, or then you like, scan a thing, and it's like, bling, well, that didn't work, or, you know, or put the thing in the thing, and you've done it. I hate it, I hate to scan.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  I do hate getting in the fight when it's like, place the item in the bag in there, and you do, and it says, place the item in the bag in there, you're like, "I did," and then it's like, "Service needed," you go, "Nah," and then they come over and I'm already fighting in my head.

• 56:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I hate it. I like going to a person, give the little thing, have a little, "How's your day? What's on your off?"

• 56:51Speaker 01

  Sure, my wife, every time, she'll like, I'll be scanning, and I go, "Let me just do it," and then she'll come in with like, a candy bar, and then not put it in the, and then that, and I go, "Every time, we do, every time we do this." And then someone's gotta come over.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's for sure, I don't like any of that.

• 57:06H. Foley?

  You getting the, you getting the reusable bags, or you getting this to plastic bags?

• 57:09Speaker 03

  We do reusable.

• 57:10H. Foley?

  Do you bring them with you, or just get them?

• 57:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, we got like, the car, the, the Forrester's packed. The Forrester's supplied.

• 57:17H. Foley?

  You're bringing your bags back to the grocery store.

• 57:20Speaker 01

  I gotta say.

• 57:21Speaker 03

  What do you mean, what do you mean bringing them back? I mean, I, I own the bags, and I bring them with me whenever I go grocery store.

• 57:25H. Foley?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 57:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course, but I also grew up in Ireland where that was normal.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, Europe's been, Europe's been ahead of that.

• 57:31H. Foley?

  You gotta bring your own bag?

• 57:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, since like two thousand and four or something.

• 57:34H. Foley?

  Suckers.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  I guess, yeah.

• 57:37Speaker 03

  Is that a big win for you?

• 57:39Speaker 01

  He needs it, just let him have it.

• 57:41Speaker 03

  He needs it. He goes, "Now I got more bags, now I got all my plastic bags."

• 57:46H. Foley?

  You gotta be so mean about it.

• 57:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, you've made a blanket when you sleep under the bridge.

• 57:50H. Foley?

  Is that a win for you? Yeah, a little bit.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  Those are...

• 57:54Speaker 01

  Hey, hey, hey, we're trying to stack W's over here, okay, let it give a toll.

• 57:58Speaker 03

  Those reusable bags, they're hard to tie around a stick for all your stuff.

• 58:02H. Foley?

  Can I have that last sip of coffee?

• 58:03Speaker 03

  I'll give you some ice to go.

• 58:04H. Foley?

  Take that, sucker.

• 58:07H. Foley?

  Alright, that's very classy. I like that.

• 58:11Speaker 01

  But you don't, in the burbs, everyone is doing that.

• 58:14H. Foley?

  Bringing them back?

• 58:15Speaker 01

  Dude, it's so, it's...

• 58:16H. Foley?

  I know how to get them, give me the good bag.

• 58:18Speaker 03

  You keep them in the car, you keep a bag in the car, that's the plan.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, that dude, it's...

• 58:22H. Foley?

  Are you doing that?

• 58:23Speaker 01

  No, obviously not. They look at me, I get like, I go, "I'll just take, I'll plow by the bag," they go, "Oh, yeah, blah, blah," it's like, I don't know, I, people in front, behind me go, "Ah, you can use, take, I have extra, take," I go, "I don't want your bag, just give me new bags." The world's not operating like me and you.

• 58:40H. Foley?

  I want triple plastic.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  It's not even, and then once you get used to carrying the good bags, that the, the plastic bags don't do.

• 58:45H. Foley?

  You're not wrong.

• 58:46Speaker 03

  Because it...

• 58:46Speaker 01

  They don't make them like they used to, and they definitely don't do...

• 58:49Speaker 03

  They, they rip through your fingers, you're trying to carry them, you need a couple of big reus...

• 58:52Speaker 01

  The plastic's worse. The plastic's thinner, rips. Any, if you put a piece of plastic in there, or like a cardboard box, that, those bags are ripping, and they don't give you the paper and plastic like we grew up with. They give you the brown paper bags that you have to hold from the bottom, like you're in the nineteen fifties, like you're in The Godfather.

• 59:10H. Foley?

  You're on the Gilmore Girls.

• 59:11Speaker 03

  One day in the neighborhood, they, they brought my, whatever.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Kind of, fix that with AI.

• 59:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, put in a great quote. From the godfather there.

• 59:19H. Foley?

  You know what really stinks? Can I tell you this?

• 59:21Speaker 03

  That joke I tried to do?

• 59:23H. Foley?

  Fair enough.

• 59:24Speaker 03

  Go ahead.

• 59:25H. Foley?

  The drawstrings on garbage bags. You know what I'm talking about?

• 59:30Speaker 01

  Oh, I love them.

• 59:31H. Foley?

  You're crazy. Those things slight like piano wire.

• 59:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got, I understand what you're saying.

• 59:35H. Foley?

  Take the trash out. It's one of my chores.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:37H. Foley?

  I take the trash.

• 59:38Speaker 01

  Does he give you your allowance?

• 59:39H. Foley?

  No.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. He has a little boredom.

• 59:42Speaker 01

  Also, I love how you're like,

• 59:45Speaker 01

  I have to take the trash out of a place he's letting you live for free. Your perspective of it is crazy.

• 59:50Speaker 03

  That's the man, that's the man of the house's job.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  Makes me do.

• 59:53H. Foley?

  No, he doesn't make me do it. We do it together. We're a family unit.

• 59:55Speaker 03

  But you.

• 59:56H. Foley?

  Me, him, Glennie and little Sammy.

• 59:58Speaker 03

  You're, you're reminded to have to do it. I don't know. That's, I feel good about.

• 1:00:01H. Foley?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 1:00:02Speaker 03

  I'm the trash man at the house, too.

• 1:00:03H. Foley?

  I do my stuff. Yeah. Man of the house.

• 1:00:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, man of the house. Bring the trash out. Could not have my princess break a nail.

• 1:00:09H. Foley?

  Where do you keep the, where do you keep the outside trashcans?

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  In the garage.

• 1:00:12H. Foley?

  In the garage?

• 1:00:13Speaker 03

  No, on the outside of the house. I don't wheel them in, no.

• 1:00:16H. Foley?

  On the outside of the house? Over by the garage?

• 1:00:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, on the wall at like leading around the back of it.

• 1:00:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:21H. Foley?

  So you go, so you gotta walk out the front door, go around the garage? And then?

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  Well.

• 1:00:26H. Foley?

  Throw them in the trashcan behind the house?

• 1:00:28Speaker 03

  A little less of a walk than that, but yeah.

• 1:00:30H. Foley?

  And then?

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  So they're just on the side of the house? I've shot a, I should, I should, I should have showed you.

• 1:00:36H. Foley?

  I still don't get the fact that there's no entrance to the home through the garage.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  I know, but I have the same thing. We've had this conversation like 12 times.

• 1:00:42Speaker 03

  Garage door opens and closes, yeah?

• 1:00:43H. Foley?

  Yeah, I get that.

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  And then, so in order to get into that particular room, which is the garage, you walk in and out of that door. But you're imagining there's two doors, but there's not. There's one door.

• 1:00:54H. Foley?

  There's one garage door. There's no door going into the house.

• 1:00:57Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:00:57H. Foley?

  So I can't walk into your garage and then disappear into your house.

• 1:01:00Speaker 03

  Absolutely, no.

• 1:01:01H. Foley?

  I gotta come back out like a dickhead and go to the front door.

• 1:01:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're gonna look like a fool. Trying to save yourself some time down the back there, yeah.

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  Because I'm a, I don't know if you know, in this story, he's about to shit his pants. He's gotta get upstairs.

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  I gotta get upstairs stacked, okay?

• 1:01:15H. Foley?

  And then you gotta roll the trashcans down, down to the, down to the curb.

• 1:01:18Speaker 03

  Down the side, down the side, yeah. I rolled, I rolled them down to the.

• 1:01:20H. Foley?

  Where they get you? Tuesdays? What are you doing? Tuesday, Wednesday? Where they got you?

• 1:01:24Speaker 03

  Uh, Tuesday night is main garbage night. So that comes on Wednesdays.

• 1:01:29H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 1:01:29Speaker 03

  Now, some people pay for two days a week, but we're not like that. We're just a young, we're dinks. You know how it is.

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  Dual income, no kids.

• 1:01:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:35H. Foley?

  I got it. Let's go.

• 1:01:36Speaker 03

  One good income, one small income. Still, still dual. That counts.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  Equals two.

• 1:01:41H. Foley?

  I love it, man.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  I did the other thing the other night where I, I went out, I had to take the dog out to be, at night, and I forgot it was trash night.

• 1:01:49Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  And it was like one of those things where I'm like, growing up, if you miss trash night, like you'd, you know, take the fucking trash. It was like a thing.

• 1:01:57H. Foley?

  Could be half full. It's like.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  And I just went, I'm not doing it.

• 1:02:00H. Foley?

  Not a restaurant.

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  Just not doing it. We'll just wait till fucking, we'll wait till Thursday night. And I was just like, I felt like such an adult. I went, oh, I can just do that?

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  Unless you got some fresh cooked grass in that bitch.

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, then you gotta get it.

• 1:02:11Speaker 03

  That's gonna start smelling bad. I got hit with that one of the first weeks. I didn't realize.

• 1:02:15Speaker 01

  That moisture sticks in there?

• 1:02:17Speaker 03

  Sweet. I put, yeah, I put the grass in and then it was like a few days later and it's in the middle of the summer, you fuck. Oh, poof, comes flying out.

• 1:02:23H. Foley?

  Like a diaper.

• 1:02:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  The air's thicker. She's like, what the fuck?

• 1:02:27Speaker 03

  I passed out.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  Hit my head off the forester.

• 1:02:31H. Foley?

  All right, we gotta wrap it up. Gang, the special is bells and whistles and it's on his YouTube page. It's absolutely fantastic.

• 1:02:37Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:02:37H. Foley?

  Do yourself a favor. Check out Mr. Calum Tyrrell. Bells and whistles on his YouTube page. Check out his amazing podcast Cockfight and I'm sure he's got some dates.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, plug away. What do you got?

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  Oh, I got loads of stuff coming up. I don't know when this is gonna be out.

• 1:02:48Speaker 01

  This week, tomorrow.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  I got Charlotte this weekend. I'm gonna be at Skank Fest. I got Key West coming up. I got a tour of Ireland coming up. Anyone from Europe.

• 1:02:57H. Foley?

  Back to your old country.

• 1:02:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got Dublin, Cork, Limerick, London coming up. They'll all be on my website, calumterrell.com. And then I got loads of dates, but calumterrell.com for everything. Um, I can't remember them all now.

• 1:03:07H. Foley?

  Cool.

• 1:03:07Speaker 03

  So please, always adding more stuff, too.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  One of my faves.

• 1:03:10H. Foley?

  Buddy, we love you. We're so happy for you.

• 1:03:12Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:03:12H. Foley?

  Special's amazing. Congratulations. Kippee, what do you got for him?

• 1:03:15Speaker 03

  Uh.

• 1:03:16H. Foley?

  Gotham Comedy Club?

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Gotham Comedy Club, uh, next weekend. Uh, tickets are going, uh, we got, we just added a Saturday night show. Get those tickets before they're gone. Uh, and then Philly, obviously before the end of the year as well. Tickets for that are going. We love you.

• 1:03:29H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week.

• 1:03:31Speaker 03

  Peace.