This Is How You Change | What Is Our Duty To Society?

Change is hard but it doesn’t mean you have to be hard on yourself. 📚 Books Mentioned: In My Time Of Dying https://www.thepaintedporch.com/products/in-my-time-of-dying-how-i-came-face-to-face-with-the-idea-of-an-afterlife-signed-by-sebastian-junger?_pos=2&_sid=5ebfd94a0&_ss=r 👉 The Daily StoicHabits for Success, Habits for Happiness https://dailystoic.com/habits course is a six-week challenge designed to change your entire relationship with habits for the better. Sign up https://dailystoic.com/habits to take the first step toward a more effective, happier life | https://challenge.dailystoic.com/habits 🎟️ DAILY STOIC LIVE https://www.dailystoiclive.com/| Ryan Holiday is coming to a city near you https://www.dailystoiclive.com/! Grab tickets here https://www.dailystoiclive.com/ | https://www.dailystoiclive.com/ 🎙️ AD-FREE https://dailystoic.supercast.com/| Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium https://dailystoic.supercast.com/ - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/ https://dailystoic.supercast.com/ 🎥 VIDEO EPISODES https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos| Watch the video episodes on The Daily Stoic YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos: https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos ✉️ FREE STOIC WISDOM https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail | Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom into the real world.

• 0:14Ryan Holiday?

  This is how you change. Changing habits is hard. It takes willpower. It means discomfort. It means doing some stuff you don't want to do, means not doing stuff you want to do. Discipline is not exactly an easy virtue. It's not always a fun virtue. But it's wrong to think that change and discipline is about force, that it's about strictness, that it's all about struggle. When we interviewed Dr. Claire Carlyle Tresh about her award-winning book on habit, one of the things we asked were for tactics she recommends to people who want to quit a bad habit. And she said, there's actually a really important mindset. She said, "The habit is, for the moment, part of you, and it's essential that you treat it with kindness and gentleness

• 0:57Ryan Holiday?

  rather than as an enemy or a monster. Otherwise, you turn your own soul, or psyche, or mind into a battleground. The habit needs to be accepted without being indulged." She said, "Okay, it's here. It is the present reality, and I would like to change." This is actually shockingly similar to some themes we see in Marcus Aurelius and in Meditations. He says, "Celebrate behaving like a human." In another passage, he talks about how to get back to the rhythm after he's been jarred by circumstances. Philosophy wasn't just a stern taskmaster to the Stoics. It was also a solace. It was counsel. It was supposed to, as Seneca said, "Make you a better friend to yourself."

• 1:41Ryan Holiday?

  Change is hard, but it doesn't mean that you have to be relentlessly hard on yourself, that you have to beat yourself up, that you have to fight yourself. And this is actually something we talk about in the Daily Stoic Habits for Success, Habits for Happiness Challenge. It's six weeks of challenges. Yeah, but the challenges are nudging you to be what you're capable of being, pushing yourself to be better, while also not beating on you. It's fun. It's enjoyable. You like who you are on the other side of it. And I think you're really gonna like it. I'd love to have you join us. You can sign up right now at dailystoic.com/habits. We're gonna start it on July 21st, so I'd love to see you in there.

• 2:23Ryan Holiday?

  We're offering a group discount if you enroll with some of your friends. And it's gonna be awesome. I don't want you to think about the year as over. I don't want you to think about the person you want to become as being something out of reach. Just get after it. And you can sign up right now for the Daily Stoic Habits for Success, Habits for Happiness Challenge, and get back on track to being that person you want to be. That's what it's all about. And you can sign up right now at dailystoic.com/habits.

• 2:59Ryan Holiday?

  Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. I have got a short break between dates on the tour I've been doing, traveling all around. I'm actually not home. I'm traveling, but this is a family thing. I've got a cool project that I can't tell you about it just yet. But I do something really, really awesome. But if you want to come see me in Minneapolis in August, or Chicago, or Detroit, that's the 18th, 19th, and 20th. And then in October, I'm gonna be in Perth, and Sydney, and Melbourne, Auckland. Then November, they just added a Nashville date. We've got DC in there, Boston, I think. Anyways, all that's at dailystoiclive.com. But I wanted to bring you some questions

• 3:43Ryan Holiday?

  from the conversation that I had in San Francisco for today's Q and A. Thanks to the folks that asked me those. And if you want to ask me a question, come see me in person yourself, dailystoiclive.com. Hello.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  Hello. Thanks so much. That was amazing. I think I speak for all of us here. If you had one word to define you as a human being, what would that word be and why?

• 4:08Ryan Holiday?

  That's a good question. I don't know. I mean, I guess I would be less interested in my own sort of biased take. My wife's around here somewhere. Maybe you can ask her. You know, trying. How about that? I'm trying.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  Can you speak to what the Stoic view is on our duty to society in terms of, say, volunteering, donating blood?

• 4:29Ryan Holiday?

  Yeah.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  Putting our efforts out besides just our own internal moral compass?

• 4:34Ryan Holiday?

  Yes. I think we are, we are put here for other people to serve the common good, as Marcus Aurelius said. That's what life is, is all about. Couple of years ago, I read this article about someone who had, who'd done a, you know, an unprovoked kidney donation. They just gave their kidney to a stranger. And I thought that was, you know, unreal. I was like, I've always wanted to do, I want to do something like that. And I was telling my wife that I was gonna donate my kidney. And she was like, what are you talking about? She was like, you've never even donated blood before. And I was like, oh, maybe I should start there. So I, you know, I do that every, what is it? Three months that you can? And, and there's something about, like, literally watching, you know, it flowing out of your arm and it going to a blood bank for, you know, gunshot victims, or, you know,

• 5:19Ryan Holiday?

  people rush to the hospital. Sebastian Junger wrote this incredible book recently about, called it My Time of Dying, where he was, he didn't know. Just one day, he's hanging out with his family, and he's bleeding to death internally. And he's rushed to the hospital. He's like, this close to dying. And he talks about, you know, just what a powerful statement that, he says, you know, everyone should, should vote and give blood. Those are our two basic responsibilities as humans. I think that's a pretty good one. But, but the idea that the Stoic is community-minded, I think, is, is worth emphasizing again, and again, and again, because it's seen so much as an individualistic philosophy, a resigned philosophy, a self-contained philosophy. And it is, which I think is what makes the Stoics uniquely suited

• 6:04Ryan Holiday?

  to contribute to society, because they're not all over the place. They're not messes, you know? They're not trying to be all things to all people. They know where they can make a difference. And, you know, that is one area that we can make a difference. Obviously, the other big one is like, what do you decide to, to spend your, your career on? You could take a career that is highly paid, but makes the world a worse place. Or you could choose a career that, you know, you think makes a positive difference. And that was a transition I made even in my own life, just thinking like, is this what I want to do with my limited amount of time here? And then I found the thing that I did, right? And so I think these are all the ways that we contribute to society.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  I would like to know, what do you do as a father to instill the Stoic virtues to your children? I have a 12-year-old, and as an adult, I struggle with cultivating my own, I guess, search for the virtues, the Stoic virtues. But I think they're very valuable.

• 7:03Ryan Holiday?

  Sure.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  Especially in these challenging times. I think I would like to know, what do you do? And maybe I get inspiration from that.

• 7:10Ryan Holiday?

  Yeah. This question of how do we teach our children these Stoic values and virtues is, you know, the main question that I think every parent is thinking about. You know, obviously, my kids love hearing about Stoic philosophy from me. It was all about it. Because, because every kid wants to hear about what their, what their parents do. I try, as I said earlier, I'm trying. I try to model the ideas. I would like them to, even if I'd never spoke about it ever, for them to be able to deduce that this is the philosophy I live by and take seriously. That, that would obviously be, I think, a main, you know, sort of metric. Could you be convicted of it in a court? Could people see it from the outside, even without hearing you talk about it? And, and, you know, I would say, on a good day, yes.

• 7:55Ryan Holiday?

  On most days, probably not. But it, but it's about the trying. I do think that the best way to talk about these ideas is through stories, through the stories we lift up, and then, you know, the examples that we, you know, talk about as cautionary tales, like I'm, I'm doing tonight. What I try to do in my books, and then what I try to do as a parent, when I'm trying to teach and, you know, show them the world, is go to these kind of foundational myths. Like, in the ancient world, biography was not about, you know, this person was at this place at this time, and actually, you know, look at all these, you know, let me disprove, you know, did Washington actually cut down a cherry tree or not? You know, like, the obsession, I think, with the factual nuts and bolts

• 8:39Ryan Holiday?

  of history, I think, is something that we've sort of gotten wrong. The purpose of history, to me, is, is ultimately moral instruction, like, how to be a person? What kind of society do we want to have? Where are we trying to go? And, and so I do try to think a lot about the stories and myths and ideas that we talk about over and over and over again. And then, of course, that we try to live by as well.