How to bring the house down at karaoke

Karaoke isn't just a crowd-pleasing pastime. When well-executed, it can unite a room of strangers and help you build your internal power. Zak Rosen, reporter and host of The Best Advice Show, offers tips on mastering the art of karaoke. And no, you don't need to be a good (or even average) singer. Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

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• 0:16Marielle Segarra?

  A quick note before we start today's show. You may have heard that President Trump has issued an executive order seeking to block all federal funding to NPR. This is the latest in a series of threats to media organizations around the country. Whatever changes this brings, NPR's commitment to reporting and to serving the public will never change. Even as paywalls rise elsewhere, we offer our reporting as a resource to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay. This is a pivotal moment. It's much more important than ever that every supporter who can contribute comes together to pitch in as much as they're able. Support the news and programming you and millions rely on by visiting donate.npr.org.

• 1:01Marielle Segarra?

  And if you already support us through NPR Plus or another way, thank you. Your support means a lot to us, now more than ever. You help make NPR shows freely available to everyone, and we're proud to do this work for you and with you. All right, here's the show. You're listening to Life Kit from NPR. Hey, it's Marielle. When I lived in Providence, Rhode Island, I went to a bar one time that happened to have karaoke. I say that because I didn't go there to sing, and there were plenty of people sitting around not partaking. Anyway, I remember this somber-looking man getting on the mic and beginning the puddle melt that would be his performance.

• 1:45Marielle Segarra?

  The song was "Foolish Games" by Jewel. If you haven't heard it, it starts like this, with some moody piano.

• 2:06Marielle Segarra?

  This song is about a lover who's done you wrong. And this guy, he got into it. He was all, "In case you fail to notice, in case you fail to see, this is my heart bleeding before you. This is me down on my knees. And these foolish games." That must have been the part when he leaned his back against the pillar and slowly slid down to the floor. Let me just be clear, the mood in this bar had been fairly jovial. And then this guy comes on, rips his heart out of his chest, and holds it up for the

• 2:51Marielle Segarra?

  rest of us to look at.

• 3:00Marielle Segarra?

  At the time, I felt embarrassed for him. Honestly, I was cringing at his vulnerability. But I think about this story a little differently now. Because from what I could tell, he was going through something, right? Maybe a breakup. And he found an outlet in music. That's some of the magic of karaoke. He wasn't a talented singer, and you don't have to be. The karaoke contract states, "You get up there on the mic, the instrumental plays, you sing, we witness. And we don't judge." I hadn't learned that part yet. Feeling morose? Go ahead, sing "Foolish Games." If you're angsty, how about "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette? Celebrating a big achievement?

• 3:45Marielle Segarra?

  There are plenty of songs for that, too. Karaoke is a place where you can work through your emotions and find some power. On this episode of Life Kit, how to karaoke. Whether you're a seasoned karaoke veteran or a first-timer trying to muster up the nerve, there are strategies you can use to get yourself ready. Our guide for this episode will be reporter Zach Rosen. He hosts a very fun podcast called The Best Advice Show, and he headed out into the night to gather some karaoke best practices for us.

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• 5:39Speaker 03

  If I'm walking down the street, wearing my big, soft headphones, singing along to my favorite music, I sound incredible. But if I don't have Tom Petty or Michael Stipe beaming into my ears, my skill diminishes quickly. My pitch is off, my voice breaks. And I don't aspire to sing well, necessarily. I just want to not humiliate myself.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  So before I karaoke in front of a room full of strangers, I need to dip my toe in somewhere safe, somewhere familiar, somewhere I can trust that if I falter, it'll be okay.

• 6:16Speaker 04

  Testing.

• 6:18Speaker 04

  All right, everybody.

• 6:22Speaker 04

  Sing along. It's like, all of a sudden, you're on, you know? That can be scary. But you get to build, like, it's like a trust fall through voice.

• 6:34Speaker 03

  Yes, a vocal trust fall. I like that. I want that.

• 6:47Speaker 03

  There's a place in southwest Detroit. It's best at dusk in late summer when rows of bright yellow sunflowers stand taller than people.

• 6:56Speaker 04

  Shine bright like a diamond.

• 7:01Speaker 04

  Shine bright like a diamond.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  The above-ground pool is filled with clean, warm water. The fire pit is roaring with flames. And the picnic table is overflowing with dates and hummus and crackers and bottles of wine. This, dear listener, is The K-Hole. K as in karaoke, not K-hole like a ketamine trip. The K-Hole has a sentence.

• 7:27Speaker 04

  Now is the time, now is the power, now is the time.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  You're listening to The K-Hole co-founders get revved up for another night of karaoke. They are Detroiters Jenny Lee, Syra Dardis, and Diana Nussera, friends of mine, full disclosure. Diana was the one who called karaoke a vocal trust fall. Her backyard is invite-only, and when the weather is good, like it is tonight, The K-Hole convenes here about once a month. If you're like me, you might be intimidated in the presence of these pros and their rotating crew of karaoke-loving friends. But I think coming out of your karaoke shell at a place like this, private, surrounded by friends, is a great place to start. And with small, private gatherings like this, you can get a lot of reps in on the mic, as opposed to a big karaoke bar where you might just get one shot to sing.

• 8:17Speaker 05

  And if a double-decker bus crashes into us,

• 8:27Speaker 03

  No matter who you are or where you decide to karaoke, Jenny and Syra have a takeaway for you. Our first takeaway: There is a place for you at karaoke.

• 8:37Speaker 06

  Knowing if you're not a "good singer," like you don't have a good voice or you haven't been in choirs your whole life or whatever, just knowing that there's a role for you in the karaoke ecosystem, right? So you getting up there and doing a song not very well, awkwardly...

• 8:59Speaker 06

  Missing the lyrics, all of that, actually like makes other people feel comfortable to like then get up and do it. And then them getting up is just like adding like fuel to the fire. That's gonna then be the beautiful bonfire that is the karaoke experience.

• 9:17Speaker 07

  Hmm.

• 9:17Speaker 06

  So don't be afraid to do that. It's an important part.

• 9:20Speaker 07

  Yeah, and I think like you'll start like, I don't, I mean, I know that some people are not trained in music and maybe our voices are very different or whatever, but even if you're gonna like kind of talk sing, like it's a good time to see someone doing that cuz it it does break the mold and it invites other people in to be like, oh, wow, I never thought about doing that, like that kind of singing here, you know?

• 9:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, I like talk singing as a way in. You know a song like Walk on the Wild Side or something like that?

• 9:50Speaker 08

  A hustle here and a hustle there. New York City is the place where the city be. Take a walk on the wild side.

• 9:58Speaker 03

  So takeaway two, you can find a song that fits your unique range and ability. It just might take some light research and practice before you take the stage.

• 10:07Speaker 06

  I mean, I feel like it's just first noticing, like what are the songs that really hit you? And just being like, oh, yeah, that song. What would it be like to sing that? So like, just like paying attention to the music that you're surrounded by and that like is meaningful to you from different eras of your life, so that you can know like what it is you want to sing.

• 10:28Speaker 03

  So take note of the songs that resonate and keep a list. Think about the songs that if they come on the radio, you automatically turn it up and know every word. Think about the songs you were obsessed with in middle school and high school, the songs you always belt out in the car. Add these to your list. I've started one in my phone's Notes app. And then from there, start practicing those songs in the car, in the shower.

• 10:53Speaker 06

  Like you have to know the lyrics.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  You mean know them, like be able to read them?

• 10:57Speaker 06

  No, no, no.

• 10:58Speaker 03

  You're saying you have to have them memorized?

• 10:59Speaker 06

  You need to-

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Sammy, that's a, that's a tall order.

• 11:01Speaker 06

  No, you need to know the song well enough that the word, seeing the words cues it in your mind where you're like-

• 11:07Speaker 04

  You need to know the melody.

• 11:08Speaker 06

  You need to know the melody.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  The melody is technically just the pitch and rhythm of the notes coming together. For our purposes, the melody is the most recognizable part of the song. So when you sing, "Twinkle, twinkle, little star," that's the melody.

• 11:22Speaker 06

  You don't have to have it memorized, but you need to know how the words that you're reading on the screen fit into the song so that it can flow. Because once you, once you mess up the words and like then you stumble, it kind of like, it can crumble from there. We're like, I don't know it. And then you kind of like lose your confidence.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  Is there a way to get your confidence back mid-song?

• 11:42Speaker 06

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. Once you like sync back up with the melody and the lyrics.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  As for what song is in your range, there's flexibility here. On your list, you can have songs where you know you'll be able to roughly hit the notes every time. But you also don't have to forego singing a song you really love just because there are super high notes or it requires belting. Here's Diana.

• 12:06Speaker 04

  Like visually, someone could be a really good performer but have like not a great voice and that. But they are like, their conviction is like there and they, they're like singing to you with their body. Um, someone could have an amazing voice and that could be like, holy crap, like wow, we just witnessed that. But for me, I love it when you could tell someone loves that song.

• 12:29Speaker 03

  Hmm. This is very important. Takeaway three. Embodied your love of the song in your performance. Clench your fist and pump it. Shake your hips. Close your eyes. Let the music literally move you. Become the R and B star you always dreamt of becoming, like Saira is here.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  Doing that is more important than nailing the technical performance.

• 13:03Speaker 04

  I think to me, like, just love that song so much and like, they're feeling or figuring something out when they sing it. To me, that makes a beautiful performance.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  Karaoke is a chance to channel that singer you love. You get to be a pop star for a few minutes, so give pop star during your performance. Diana is a ringer. She's so good. She puts out records as Mother Cyborg and credits karaoke with helping her find her voice.

• 13:32Speaker 04

  I started recording and then in a band, because I was karaoke-ing, I found my voice through karaoke.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Takeaway number four: Warm up. Before she sings, Diana loosens up her vocal cords with a breathing exercise, which we can and should do too.

• 13:50Speaker 04

  The hee-haw. Hee-haw, hee-haw, hee-haw, hee-haw.

• 13:59Speaker 03

  So how do we, will you teach us how to do that? What do we do?

• 14:02Speaker 04

  So you say he.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  And you just kind of give it all your might, like, hee.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  Hee.

• 14:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, and then you do, huh.

• 14:14Speaker 03

  Huh.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  And that's the way that you engage your diaphragm.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  Singing from your diaphragm is something people are always talking about. It seems important.

• 14:22Speaker 04

  I don't know what my diaphragm is. And that's what pushes your, the breath through your lungs. And that's how you, you control your breath and stuff like that is with your diaphragm. So when you do the hee-haw, you learn how to feel it so that you can engage it when you're singing.

• 14:38Speaker 03

  So do your heehaws.

• 14:39Speaker 04

  Huh.

• 14:40Speaker 03

  Hee. You can make a siren noise with your lips, like this.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  You can try and exercise where you inhale for four counts. Then exhale on a hiss for eight to 12 counts.

• 14:58Speaker 03

  Vocal exercises like these can build up your singing muscles and help you hold notes for longer. And yet, another byproduct of these warmups, they help you activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which will help ground you, easing those pre karaoke jitters. The last warmup Diana teaches me is something she calls loose lips.

• 15:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, and that just loosens your face up. And the looser your face is, the more you're just like using your lips to make the shapes to have the sounds.

• 15:29Speaker 05

  Hee-haw loose lips.

• 15:32Speaker 05

  Exactly. If you remember one thing tonight, folks, it's the hee-haw loose lips.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  I've done a fair amount of singing at private karaoke parties, but very little out in the world in front of strangers. But I want to try it. I'm not confident in my singing voice, though, nor do I think I can sell my performance with cool, evocative moves like the K-Holders prescribe. So I'm gonna take some time. I'm gonna pay attention to the songs ringing around in my head and rehearse in the shower.

• 16:01Speaker 05

  Well, you've got the moves, haven't you? Got the touch. And don't get it wrong. Yeah, I think you're all right.

• 16:11Speaker 03

  And I'm gonna work on my breathing techniques. But I could also use a pep talk. And I know the perfect person, Abigail Banksen. She brings us Takeaway Five: Karaoke is a Way to Get Free and to Build Power. And then as far as like, what you do, what do you say?

• 16:29Speaker 05

  I usually say I'm a singer, composer and a singer.

• 16:32Speaker 03

  Okay, I was thinking song priestess, but that's.

• 16:37Speaker 05

  I don't know if I can claim that for myself, but if you want to call me that, I'm honored.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  Abigail and her partner Sean make up the Banksens, a musical duo that puts out albums and musicals. They just finished up a run as the house band of the Broadway show All In. You might have seen their raw, gorgeous stuff on Instagram, like this one from early in the pandemic.

• 17:02Speaker 05

  I am Abigail, and this is Sean, and we're so glad that you turned this on and welcomed us into your home. And you are welcome into our home. We're in Dayton, Ohio.

• 17:19Speaker 03

  I think we have the tendency to be the devils on our own shoulders, telling ourselves, we can't do it. But Abigail is here to tell us, we can, and it's gonna be amazing.

• 17:29Speaker 09

  We have a vocabulary growing about body positivity, body acceptance, body love. And we don't have a vocabulary around voice acceptance, voice positivity, voice vocal love, even though that is so often the way we meet the world, is through our voices. And voice, your voice is from your family, it's too cultural. But I also have a feeling that everyone's voice is like a fingerprint. Like it's something truly, completely your own, when you allow it to be. And I'm not very interested in an excellent singing voice.

• 18:12Speaker 09

  It's just in the same way that I don't think there's such a thing as an excellent body. I think that there are more or less liberated bodies, more or less liberated voices.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  What Abigail looks for in a singer is someone who's willing to be brave enough to get free on stage.

• 18:29Speaker 09

  When they get free, I get free. Being vulnerable like that is a gift. You're modeling vulnerability, you're modeling courage. What an incredible thing, no matter what happens next. We will be together tonight for the

• 18:42Speaker 05

  Keep going, keep going, keep going on. Keep going on, song. This is a

• 18:53Speaker 07

  Yeah, I think it's also an exercise in building power in yourself.

• 18:58Speaker 03

  K-Holter Cyra Dardis.

• 19:00Speaker 07

  Like for me, that's why I started doing karaoke. Cause I was like, I need to exercise power and I need to find it in myself and like, figure out how to tap in to it. And it is like a wielding of, like goofy wielding of power moment.

• 19:16Speaker 08

  Now is the time, now is the hour. Now is the time for K-Hol power. Now is the time.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  My family and I moved to Amsterdam last year. And on a recent Thursday night, I set off for a popular tourist district in the center of the city. When you're in route to your performance like I am, you might consider building your own pre-show routine. Have your song list ready, run through the songs you think you might sing, do some of your vocal warmups. Takeaway six: create your own pre-show ritual. Okay, I am on my bike on the way to the karaoke bar. Oh, God. Oh, gosh. Okay, just do your voice warmups, buddy.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  I'm headed to Coco's Outback, a cavernous Australian-themed sports bar that's known to have a rockin' weekly karaoke night.

• 20:11Speaker 05

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Coco's Outback. It's still a good idea, so we're gonna sing some songs tonight.

• 20:18Speaker 10

  I'm Boris Nolans. I live in Amsterdam. I'm 24 years old. I've been doing the emceeing for about a year now.

• 20:25Speaker 03

  What advice would you give people who haven't sung before, who are about to

• 20:30Speaker 03

  sing in front of a group of people?

• 20:32Speaker 10

  If you're with a group, peer pressure 100% helps.

• 20:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:35Speaker 10

  And after that, yeah. Just try to find a song that people like, a song that other people will also sing along with, so you're not standing in front of a crowd that's quiet, listening, looking at you.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  Don't pick an obscure song.

• 20:47Speaker 10

  Exactly. Pick something easy, something that everyone knows mainstream, and then just go for it.

• 20:52Speaker 09

  So if you're gotten up there, you've chosen your Aerosmith song or your Billie Eilish song, and you are ready to go.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  Song priestess Abigail Bangson once again.

• 21:05Speaker 09

  I would say, take a deep breath, feel your feet on the ground.

• 21:12Speaker 09

  Don't worry about what it's gonna look like or sound like. Think about how it's gonna feel.

• 21:18Speaker 09

  I'd say, ask yourself, hmm, what's gonna happen? And then tell the truth, which is, I don't know.

• 21:28Speaker 09

  And then, man, life is too long and too short. Grab a little bit of joy where you can. Take pleasure. Excellence is not that interesting.

• 21:48Speaker 03

  People half my age slowly emerge on the dance floor. They're singing and dancing to songs I've never heard. Boris, the emcee, asks me what song I'm gonna do. After more than a week of internal debate, I tell him, "You Can Call Me Al." "What is it?" "You Can Call Me Al," by Paul Simon. "You're not gonna do something mainstream," he says. "Well, it was really popular in the 80s," I tell him. He eyes me with suspicion and pity, and he tells me I should take a shot. He brings me a Jägerbomb. That's a shot of Jägermeister dropped inside a Red Bull. I've never had Jägermeister. I've never had Red Bull. But I down it with him because I feel it would be rude to turn it away.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  I want to clarify, you don't have to drink to enjoy karaoke. Lots of my friends who are sober love karaoke. And not for nothing, Life Kit has some solid episodes about understanding the risks of alcohol. Boris says I have about 15 minutes till he'll call me to the stage. Then I remember something Syrah and Jenny from the K-Hole advised me to do. They said, "Before you go up, go to the bathroom, put in your earbuds, and do some last-second rehearsing. Down-low practice one last time." So that's what I do in the privacy of the bathroom. And also one last hee-haw. In the bathroom, getting through my vocal warm-ups one last time. Hee-haw, hee-haw.

• 23:20Speaker 03

  I'm relieved when the very young people recognize the song. See, Boris, it is mainstream. I start bobbing my head, shaking my hips. I nail the first few words, then I lose track of where I am. Oh, God.

• 23:38Speaker 03

  This is not going as planned. Then a drunk guy, probably 25 years old tops, jumps up on stage and puts his arm around me. So I hand him the mic.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  And then I remember Diana and Jenny's wise words. Is there a way to get your confidence back mid-song?

• 24:01Speaker 09

  Yeah, oh yeah. Once you like sync back up with the melody and the lyrics. Like when a record skips, just put it back on the groove.

• 24:18Speaker 03

  I find my footing, kind of. But I realize no one cares how well I'm singing. They care that I am singing, that I'm up there awkwardly, but finding some fun in the midst of it.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  I survived the performance. I'm not being self-deprecating when I say I sucked. But after getting over my nerves, I genuinely had a great time singing and stumbling in front of strangers. And I feel far less fear and more audacious because of it. Thanks karaoke.

• 24:54Speaker 03

  Before I let you go practicing your next song, let's recap. Takeaway number one, no matter who you are, there is a place for you at karaoke. Takeaway number two, you can find a song that fits your unique range and ability. You just need to seek it out and pay attention to songs that move you. Takeaway number three, if you outwardly love the song you're performing, the audience will too. Takeaway number four, warm up your voice before you sing.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  Takeaway number five, karaoke isn't just about singing. It's about making yourself vulnerable, singing yourself free, and realizing your power.

• 25:36Speaker 09

  And when someone else has the courage and vulnerability to unlock their own freedom in front of others,

• 25:45Speaker 09

  that part of us, no matter how buried, can't help but rise up and run towards the walls we've built and knock them down if they can.

• 25:57Speaker 03

  Takeaway number six, make your own pre-show ritual, which will give you confidence and clarity heading into your performance.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  Since my "You can call me Al" moment at Coco's, I've karaoke'd two more times. I rented a private room with my wife and our friends. The stakes were a lot lower. The energy was much higher. The vibes were fantastic.

• 26:22Speaker 05

  Everybody look left. Everybody look right. Everywhere you look, I'm standing in the spotlight. Not yet.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  That thing I said earlier about paying attention to the songs you loved in middle school, that has really been true for me lately. Choose your song, choose your stage, get free, have fun. That is karaoke.

• 27:03Marielle Segarra?

  That was reporter and host of the Best Advice Show, Zach Rosen. For more Life Kit, check out our other episodes. We've got one on how to find your singing voice and another on overcoming nerves when you're speaking in public. You can find those at npr.org/lifekit. And if you love Life Kit and want even more, subscribe to our newsletter at npr.org/lifekitnewsletter. Also, we love hearing from you, so if you have episode ideas or feedback you want to share, or you want to tell us your favorite karaoke song, email us at [email protected].

• 27:37Marielle Segarra?

  This episode of Life Kit was produced by Margaret Serino. Our visuals editor is Beck Harlan, and our digital editor is Malika Gharib. Megan Cain is our supervising editor, and Beth Donovan is our executive producer. Our production team also includes Andy Tagel, Claire Marie Schneider, Sam Yellowhorse Kessler, and Sylvie Douglas. Engineering support comes from Zoe Vangenhoven. Special thanks to Johannes Dergi. I'm Marielle Segarra. Thanks for listening.

• 28:17Speaker 00

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