Best of Monday 2025

On this special episode, we revisit some of our favorite moments from Monday episodes in 2025. Nikki Glaser relays the risks of a roast, Brad Pitt commits a non-union extra faux pas, Dominic Fike drops his mixtape in jail, Dove Cameron tries to mend her relationship with her dad, Alexander Skarsgård finds his way as an actor post-Zoolander, Jennifer Aniston talks kids and SNL, Adam Scott discovers grief for his mom while filming Severance, Mindy Kaling writes nerdy women who desire, and Charlie Sheen keisters an ice cube after falling asleep on camera. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm with Lily Padman.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 0:04Dax Shepard?

  Today is Best of Mondays 2025. We get support from Quince.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  I have to say, I am so ready for fall. I want sweaters. I've been craving a true crisp morning where I actually need a jacket. I can't wait.

• 0:19Dax Shepard?

  I'm fully there. The second it dips below 70, I'm like, this is my season. Give me the layers, give me the boots, give me a reason to wear something other than a t-shirt. And honestly, that's why I love Quince, because fall is when your wardrobe actually has to show up. And everything at Quince is 50 to 80% less than similar brands. We're talking 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at $60.

• 0:41Speaker 01

  $60. $60 for cashmere that you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. It's amazing. Gets me every time. It really shouldn't be real, but it is because they go straight to the factories, they skip the middlemen, and they just hand you the savings. The stuff isn't trendy. It's the kind of pieces you grab over and over because they work every time.

• 0:59Dax Shepard?

  The 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters for me are it. When I look at Steve McQueen, this man owned a couple of sweaters he wore all the time, and he looks iconic.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  It's a uniform.

• 1:10Dax Shepard?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  And Quince isn't just about the clothes. They have hotel-quality bedding, cookware, bath essentials, thoughtfully-designed furniture. You can really go there and outfit your entire apartment or house. So if you're in need of any kind of fall refresh at home, too, same quality, same attention to detail for every corner of your life.

• 1:28Dax Shepard?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. We get support from AG1. Fall is that time when your body and mind are getting ready for the winter. You're settling in, bracing for the cold. Your body's already running a deficit from the shorter days and broken sleep patterns. You don't want a nutrient deficit stacked on top of that, too.

• 2:04Speaker 01

  That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs so the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop, cold water every morning before anything else.

• 2:16Dax Shepard?

  AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, superfoods, backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials. Key nutrient levels improved with three months of consistent use.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  That's the part people miss. It's not a one day fix. It's what happens when you stay consistent.

• 2:34Dax Shepard?

  It's an easy, everyday thing. I've added it to my morning routine and I'm going to tell you, I actually love the taste of it. It's like Pavlovian. I drink it and I know, mm, I'm going to get that little vitamin buzz.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  Well, that's also the thing. When you do it first thing in the morning, you already feel kind of self-esteem because you're like, I already did something good for myself.

• 2:52Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Go to drinkag1.com/dax and for a limited time, get a free immunity bundle, including a bottle of omega three fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3 K2 with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/dax. And after checkout, be sure to let them know that Armchair Experts sent you.

• 3:34Dax Shepard?

  From episode 861, Nikki Glaser.

• 3:37Speaker 02

  Well, last night I was at the Grammys and my boyfriend, I'm just trying to be very small. Like, I feel like I don't belong there. I don't want people even noticing me to go like, why is she here? Even though I was nominated for a Grammy. But like, I didn't win. I was so mad I didn't win only because I wanted to bring my Grammy to like, hold it, to be like, I belong. I just wanted to have a reason to be there. So I was being very small and then people were come, you know, people were coming up to me being like, oh my God, I love, like people I'm fans of. And my boyfriend had to talk with me after. We were like, you know, just kind of doing a debrief afterwards. He was like, you, I think you have to remember that you need to go up to people next time. Like you going up to someone will be the same gift as Olivia Rodrigo coming up to you. Like, because that was like the biggest gift of my life was someone I admire so much coming up to me to say she was a fan. He was like, but you could go give that to people.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  And I was like, I don't think of anyone thinking of, that they would want that from me.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  I didn't. That's one, you know, like Taylor, she's just, everyone wants a piece. That one, I'm just like, I will never be the one to be like, excuse me ever. It's almost rude what I do when I'm in the same room as Taylor Swift because I won't even look her way. It might.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  She's like tapping you on the shoulder and you're just like.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  It will take that because I just will never, and everyone goes, go up and say something to her. And so it's like, she's got, there's no way that she's dying for that in a night like this where everyone's doing it. And of course she would be so nice. I know exactly how it would go down, but I just, I don't want to take someone's energy a way that I require their energy to be put into making great music. That's why I don't want her to make a less great song because she had to be like, oh, nice to meet you. Oh, and like hold me as I'm crying.

• 5:13Dax Shepard?

  Give you the full Swiftie treatment.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Something tells me I can't bother her.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  I generally after award shows get pretty depressed, no matter what happens, because I'm around all these famous people that I put on a pedestal. And I kind of see the facade of it all and like the desperation and like, oh.

• 5:30Dax Shepard?

  Everyone's the same.

• 5:31Speaker 02

  Everyone has, they're all wearing uncomfortable clothes and have the fake hair in. And I'm like, we're all clamoring to be noticed and a little bit disappointed when we're not. And it just, it makes me a little bit sad because I'm like, no matter how big you get, you kind of worry about who's in the room, who's looking at you, where you're seated. It's, I kind of go through a depression afterwards.

• 5:47Dax Shepard?

  It's seeing the magic trick a bit. You realize, oh, there isn't any pixie dust.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  There is pixie dust. Like there's magical moments where you're like, wow, that person's so talented. They're so amazing. They're like, you know. You know, just even watching Chapel Rohn last night, Sabrina Carpenter, Rey, who I've never, had never heard of. But watching her was just transcendent.

• 6:06Dax Shepard?

  Definitely musicians when they're doing their thing. And if you were watching the people in the room act, perhaps.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 6:11Dax Shepard?

  But you're just seeing them not lit and not in a riveting drama.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 6:16Dax Shepard?

  And they're just people.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  The reason I brought up the thing is because I wanted to do a full circle, which is, and this is important to say. Cause I was like a little annoyed and I was upset on your behalf and upset on my behalf because I was like, oh, this is gonna, this is gonna be a problem for me. So Kristen is hosting the SAG Awards.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Oh my God, really?

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Yes. And she hosted. Them in 2018 and that's when I was her producing partner and creative partner. And so I wrote her monologue and I did all that stuff for her then. And so she asked me to do that this time. So I went back to look at that original monologue. I kid you not, there is a joke that is about Marc Maron.

• 6:57Dax Shepard?

  That Monica wrote.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  That I wrote. That is, we didn't have our show yet. That is literally No way. The exact No way. I loved that show. Yes. I loved that show. My jaw dropped. I had no memory of writing that joke. And also I was like, well, this joke is fine. This joke is fine. So that joke has to be

• 7:19Speaker 02

  Oh, that makes me feel so good.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Like, it doesn't mean anything.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  It doesn't.

• 7:24Dax Shepard?

  He killed his close up. He was such a good sport. I, Kristen showed it to me. She's like, I mean, look at this. We did the same thing.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  It's so funny.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  The full circle moment. I was like, I wrote this exact same joke.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  It's so nice to hear that because I think that happens all the time where people get mad about something and you've just done it before. And no one will ever admit that they've done it before. But even when I get mad, it's, everyone's such a hypocrite. Not that you were

• 7:49Speaker 01

  I know.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  But it's like

• 7:50Speaker 01

  No, I was.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  But unintentionally, yeah.

• 7:52Dax Shepard?

  I hope that got to you in our debrief as well, which is as I was listening to the monologue, panicked that I was gonna get made fun of. I was doing a personal inventory, you know, and I was going,

• 8:04Dax Shepard?

  you, you have done this many times. Like I, I have done this. I have been on Conan, making fun of the cast of The Expendables. Cause I had a movie coming out against them.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:13Dax Shepard?

  And they're easy targets and I can do all their accents. You know, maybe Sly was at home bombed. I, it's hard for me to imagine that, but maybe. Cause again, in my, in that, in that situation, I'm insignificant and I'm almost speaking in a vacuum. These people won't really hear me.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  They, yeah.

• 8:29Dax Shepard?

  And then I'm like, and I was on a show called Punk'd where we put celebrities in very rough situations and hopefully they acted poorly. I mean,

• 8:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:37Dax Shepard?

  Like I, I had no, I, no point was ever judgmental. And at no point did I act like I was above that. What I more was starting to feel was a kind of compassion for both of us.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  That's really nice.

• 8:52Dax Shepard?

  Which is like, I want to get invited to the party. And the way I got invited to the party was like, yeah, you can come to the party if you shit on me.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 9:02Dax Shepard?

  And I was like, okay, I'll do it.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  And you get to the party and the people you shit on are there.

• 9:06Dax Shepard?

  I know. For years, I'm bumping into Timberlake and he hates my guts. And I'm like, Mike, don't you understand, buddy? I was like dead broke and that was my only chance.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. He said, so he remember, he places you from that.

• 9:17Dax Shepard?

  We've had him on and we talked it all through. But like, yeah, I would see him for years and it's like, yeah, that guy doesn't like me and for good reason.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  You forget these people have feelings and generally the jokes I make are about, you know, at roast, I feel like everything's on the table because they've signed up for it.

• 9:32Dax Shepard?

  We should make a distinction because I heard you talking about it this morning. And it's great. You're like, Tom Brady's getting 25 million dollars. He has consented.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 9:40Dax Shepard?

  Everyone that said yes to the Diaz, they, am I saying it right? Diaz?

• 9:43Speaker 02

  The Diaz, yeah. Yeah. Everyone who says yes to Cameron Diaz. Don't make fun of him for saying it wrong.

• 9:50Dax Shepard?

  Everyone says yes to her. Is it the Diaz? And you go, yes, that's right. Diaz.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  I just want to give you what you want. Ultimately be honest with you. So that's gonna, that's gonna track throughout this episode.

• 10:02Dax Shepard?

  We have the same approach.

• 10:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but there, there is consent.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:08Dax Shepard?

  And I have been invited to so many of those roasts and I'm like, I just don't have thick enough skin. I'll just tell you, like, I, I can't handle it. I'm very sensitive.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  Thank God. Like, I don't even think about what's going to be said about me when I say yes to the roast. Like, I put it out of my head, but even the, I did the Tom Brady one because it was like, Tom Brady, I gotta do it. But the next roast that they threw at me, I was gonna say no to because I was like, I'm too old now. Like, when I was 35, getting called old, you could cut, it didn't hurt. Yeah. Because I was like, I don't feel it. Not really. But at 40, I kind of feel it and I'm starting to see it. And I just don't want, I don't want anyone pointing out something about my face or that I have to then go talk to someone about. Yeah. In an office and have them draw on me and stare into my eyes and and fix it, which I've done and I continue to do. And but I just don't want, I don't want anyone else notice, like, I just don't want people to pay too close of attention. But then the Tom Brady roast, you just

• 11:01Speaker 02

  And then you go, oh, good. I'm not the most famous person here. So there won't be that many jokes about me. And that's how it ended up. But the next one, I feel like I'm a little bit more famous. Yeah, bigger target next time. So we'll see. It's gonna have to be someone really, really good for me to do it again. It hurts a lot, like.

• 11:17Dax Shepard?

  It does, right? I'm one of the only people who didn't watch a Tom Brady roast because I'm, I can't even enjoy watching it. I just think of myself hearing that and I just, I, I'm very sensitive.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  Um, no, I, I am, I don't read any comments about myself. I, um, um, I've been sober from comments, which I think should be a thing.

• 11:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:37Speaker 02

  Like, not the general public, because I don't think the general public has too many, like trolls in their comments. But if you're a person, a celebrity or a person.

• 11:45Dax Shepard?

  You probably know you're a troll if you're a civilian and you, someone saying, you probably work with that person.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  You should have blocked your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend ages ago. That, you could, that's just a simple block. But yeah, I just, I don't, I can post things now and not wor, and not like go back. How many likes does it have? Cause I just go, it's none of your business anymore and you don't get to read anything. Cause I can't handle it. I, it will destroy me.

• 12:08Dax Shepard?

  From episode 893 with Mo Amer.

• 12:14Dax Shepard?

  So Gulf War breaks out in 91.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  90, yeah, 90. It was like, uh, August of 90. The reason why I remember exactly.

• 12:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, the invasion is.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  The invasion, the Iraqi invasion was then, and I remember it quite well because I was supposed to have my tonsils removed. Two days before, you know, two days before, yeah, after they came in, yeah.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  So I was like, damn it. So now for the rest of my life, I still have.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  Tonsillitis.

• 12:43Dax Shepard?

  Might have been a happy accident.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  No, it's not, brother. I'm miserable. I have enormous tonsils.

• 12:48Dax Shepard?

  I bet they're gorgeous.

• 12:49Speaker 03

  They're massive. They are gorgeous. They are mountainous. You can ski off of those fucking things, for sure.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  You could probably get them out now.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  I am so scared. They're talking about like the way I've, yeah.

• 12:57Dax Shepard?

  Adults are supposed to do it.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Really?

• 12:59Speaker 03

  It's a really, it's like 50 50 bleed or something, something crazy, like heavy bleeding.

• 13:03Dax Shepard?

  Was it someone on here?

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Six weeks to eight weeks recovery, no talking.

• 13:07Dax Shepard?

  They cauterize it, but you can't feel, you can't feel if it's bleeding. Bleeding down into your stomach.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 13:12Dax Shepard?

  You can basically.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  Well, see, yeah. That's all I needed to hear to make it even worse.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  But why are the kids more, why are they able to?

• 13:18Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  I think it's not as mature enough. It's very like, it's a in and out procedure for kids.

• 13:26Dax Shepard?

  But someone was just telling, an adult was like really battling whether or not to do it. They don't like to do it on adults.

• 13:31Speaker 03

  Yeah. I went to like the top special of UCLA and they were like, hmm, fifty fifty they're gonna bleed, you know? But you'll be fine. It's just gonna take a lot longer to heal. I was like, you know what? I'll just take antibiotics.

• 13:46Speaker 03

  Do a lot of voices too. Like what if it affects?

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  You know, how I do all these accents and stuff. Like what if I just end up talking like this all this time now?

• 13:57Speaker 03

  My life is ruined because I sound terrible.

• 13:59Dax Shepard?

  So the invasions in August, the, the US enters, as I remember, because my birthday is January 2nd. And I got my license in ninety one on the second. And it was the only thing that played in the radio when I first, I feel like it was like maybe January first of ninety one, the US entered.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  Yep. I had left before that, but go ahead.

• 14:21Dax Shepard?

  You left before the US response.

• 14:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was pretty, it was really, really intense because that was the first time I knew that we were stateless, number one. Like I didn't know, I just knew this happy life. I knew that we were, you know, had family on next. I didn't know anything was wrong.

• 14:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:40Speaker 03

  With us, like we couldn't just.

• 14:41Dax Shepard?

  But you weren't like holding a passport.

• 14:43Speaker 03

  Why don't we just go to, why don't we just go back to Palestine? Let's go back to us. Like, why can't we?

• 14:47Speaker 01

  Right.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  And they're like, no, we can't necessarily do that either. It's not the best next step. Let's figure it out. And it was the first time seeing, you know, your parents are this, you see them and like they're your pillars. Like they're, they're always in control. There's nothing ever wrong.

• 15:02Dax Shepard?

  Seemingly know everything.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  Seemingly know everything and to see them so worried.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  And I remember this to this day, that call at six AM. I remember the phone ringing, you know, at those days, the phone, wake up the entire house.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  I was like, who the hell's calling? I remember getting up, Alman picking up the phone. It was like Saddam has invaded Kuwait. Hangs up and now everyone is out to try to get as many resources for the house. Food, rice, water, you know, thing, whatever you can get.

• 15:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 15:30Speaker 03

  To just store it. Um, and yeah, that's when everything changed and they. Got to our house at one o'clock in the morning and I was passed, I was asleep. I slept through the whole breaking of the door, ransacking the home. They were threatening my mom, my dad, who's in this bedroom? Who's in this bedroom? They were pointing at my bedroom and they were threatening, they were gonna throw a grenade in the bedroom. Oh my god. Like, tell us, tell us, tell us. And, uh, and you know, my mom and my, like, they were trying to figure out who works at the Kuwaiti oil company since the whole reason of their invasion to begin with is the side, supposed side thing of, you know, Iraqi, uh, um, oil and whatnot, whatever. Was that their premise? They were diagonally drilling in? That's what they were saying.

• 16:15Speaker 03

  I don't know what exactly is, it feels like, you know, yeah, it's a bigger conversation to me now. I have, I, as a grown ass man, I see what's everything going on, living in America. Now I know like who's been putting all these people in power and doing it, whatever. Let's talk about that thing, but, but that was the premise is that, you know, Kuwait was stealing from them and he's there to take it back, that's the idea. Okay. But then, since it's the Kuwaiti oil company, so our neighborhood was hot. Targeted. First stop, absolutely. And it was all about collecting people who are, you know. Who could help manage and turn over the control of it. Exactly. Your dad's like, I just do telephones. Well, that's the biggest fucking thing, right? Communication. Yeah. That was like one of their, probably on their top five list.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Oh, wow. You know, of, you know, transferring all communication to where? Oh, right. Transfer to Adolf, you know? Yeah. So my dad had one choice, either do it or we, you know, potentially your family is at risk, you know? Yeah. Might take them all out, who knows? You're not gonna find out if they're bluffing. Bluffing or not. Yeah, exactly. He was just gonna say, yeah, it's me, what are you gonna do? Like, what is he gonna do? So he was forced to go in and redirect. Oh, wow. Some of it, from what I've heard, some of it at that time, and he regrets it. He doesn't, didn't feel good about any of it, you know? Well, he had to protect himself and his family. He loves, he loves Kuwait and he loved the people of Kuwait. He loved everything there and he was just saddened to see it all happen that way. But he was also just protecting our family. So like soldiers were showing.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  Up early in the morning at our house and just constantly all throughout the whole street. It was pretty regular, but I felt like our house was like a spot, you know?

• 17:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  Uh, became that and uh, play soccer with these guys. Like there was just, you know, I had me like, hold the machine. I was like, I don't know, hold the machine. You know, it was that weird, like different life, just my, everything changed.

• 18:07Dax Shepard?

  Right. And trying to evaluate, are these guys mean and evil?

• 18:10Speaker 03

  They weren't.

• 18:11Dax Shepard?

  Right. Or, but when you're, when they first show up with the guns.

• 18:13Speaker 03

  They had moments. They had moments. So I remember this guy, he had a thick stash, huge. But I was really fast as a kid and I played tons of soccer. So I was killing these older guys. I was killing them and he just boom, he just socks me real hard. And I remember being laid out on the ground and I look up and I see him and this is how he felt like he was laughing. He goes,

• 18:33Speaker 03

  and I was like.

• 18:34Dax Shepard?

  Like a Bond villain, bro.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  It felt evil. I know he's not, but he was just like fucking with me, but he just, it really, uh, it just, it just, I can't forget his face. I can, I can, if a sketch artist was sitting here, I could draw him. It's that kind of, you never forget.

• 18:50Dax Shepard?

  From episode nine 11 with Brad Pitt.

• 18:59Speaker 04

  You know, I've never had a gay experience. I kind of missed that window, but if I did.

• 19:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 19:04Speaker 04

  It wouldn't be you.

• 19:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh man, you had me. I was like, wow, he's gonna say it. I was like, he, Dax is going to die tonight. 14 to 15. I don't want to brag, but you're gonna need to build up to me.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  I do recommend you start with some, some starters.

• 19:23Dax Shepard?

  Now, is this true? That you left college a week before our graduation?

• 19:28Speaker 04

  No, I actually went through graduation. I just didn't finish my last week of classes and actually graduate. But my parents were already coming.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Oh, you went to the ceremony, but you didn't graduate.

• 19:39Speaker 04

  Fucking walk the line, hat and all, cap.

• 19:41Dax Shepard?

  You wanted to be able to throw your hat.

• 19:43Speaker 01

  Well, sure, it's very fun.

• 19:45Dax Shepard?

  That's a crazy fucking decision.

• 19:47Speaker 04

  No, because I decided, come to LA.

• 19:49Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  We only had one week left.

• 19:51Speaker 04

  I had one week left, but what's the Spike Jones movie adaptation? Remember when Chris Cooper goes, he talks about, he's into, what is the flowers?

• 20:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the lotus.

• 20:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, yes.

• 20:03Dax Shepard?

  Lotus?

• 20:04Speaker 04

  No, it wasn't a lotus.

• 20:05Dax Shepard?

  Orchids.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  Orchids. Yeah, yeah. And he talked about his former Jones was about, was about fish or some kind of fish breeding. She said, she, I think it was Merrill asking him what happens and he says, done with fish.

• 20:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:17Speaker 04

  I kind of, it felt like that for me. It just like, done.

• 20:21Dax Shepard?

  I don't want to do this.

• 20:22Speaker 04

  I talked to a friend, they had, it never occurred to me, I could, like, I was kind of lamented that movies weren't an option. I'd always loved movies. I met this friend whose dad had a condo in Burbank and said, I could stay there for one month. Oh, and I went.

• 20:40Dax Shepard?

  Green light.

• 20:40Speaker 04

  I'm going to it. I'm going to it. And he moved to Beverly.

• 20:46Dax Shepard?

  What car did you drive out for that?

• 20:48Speaker 04

  Datsun 200SX.

• 20:49Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 20:50Speaker 04

  Bumper hanging off.

• 20:51Dax Shepard?

  Okay, it wasn't in great shape.

• 20:53Speaker 01

  Do you still have it?

• 20:54Speaker 04

  No.

• 20:54Speaker 01

  Oh, sometimes it's fun to have those old, original.

• 20:58Dax Shepard?

  Do you fantasize about getting any of the stupid cars you have? Cause I had a 91 Honda Civic DX for a decade here and I want to get one and make it fucking fast.

• 21:07Speaker 04

  I was just looking, my dad had a 74 Monte Carlo and I was just looking that up.

• 21:11Dax Shepard?

  You gotta get it.

• 21:12Speaker 04

  Just looking it up.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  You gotta get it.

• 21:13Speaker 04

  Just for fun.

• 21:14Dax Shepard?

  Just a little tribute.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  How often are you scrolling those cars? Be honest.

• 21:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, just bring a trailer.

• 21:22Speaker 04

  Almost as often as I'm scrolling Zillow.

• 21:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know, Zillow will really.

• 21:26Speaker 04

  Love, I love house porn. House porn, car porn, bike porn.

• 21:30Dax Shepard?

  Well, you've been in this situation for a long time, but it's, for so long, it was just, I dreamt about it and then I could do it and then I did it. I bought too much stuff.

• 21:39Speaker 04

  I saw the toys out there.

• 21:41Dax Shepard?

  Fun. And this is me, this is me now like constrained, so. I have these like rules I have to have in place. Like I have to look at the car like 10 times and I gotta want it still in four months. You know, like I.

• 21:52Speaker 04

  Ah, so you make sure that you put the time in to make it worth its while.

• 21:56Dax Shepard?

  That's right. I, I, I, cause I'm dangerous. I get on Bring a Trailer and I'm like, oh my fucking God, I need that thing so bad. Okay. So you drove out into Dotson. I did hear a funny story about you wanting to get your SAG card and interject.

• 22:10Speaker 04

  Oh, I got shut down so hard.

• 22:13Dax Shepard?

  Will you tell Monica that?

• 22:14Speaker 04

  Down. I was doing extra work for about a year and a half before I even got into. You got to do something real. I was doing, I was an extra and I was thrilled. I loved it. I couldn't believe I'd be on set.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 04

  And I started that. And I mean, when I landed in Burbank, I got the paper, went to McDonald's. I had $275 left in my name. There were three extra agencies. You could pay them 25 bucks and you were in. I found it in the paper and I got in the next day. I'm going, I'm rolling. I'm doing an industrial, industrial like video by the end of the week.

• 22:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 22:47Speaker 04

  And, and I get this, um, I get this gig. I'm about.

• 22:53Dax Shepard?

  You're already inflating what happened.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  I'm an extra in this movie.

• 22:57Dax Shepard?

  I land this role.

• 22:58Speaker 04

  I land this job as extra.

• 23:01Dax Shepard?

  It's a waiter.

• 23:01Speaker 04

  The funny that when I started, I put them on like a resume, like they were real.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:05Speaker 04

  And it still haunts me.

• 23:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, sure.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  It's still like on my, anyway, I'm like a jackass and it's, it's a restaurant scene and it's the main characters, Charlie Sheen and DB Sweeney. And then, and a bunch of other actors that I wasn't necessarily aware of. And I am the waiter. I'm supposed to bring up champagne and pour champagne. They show me how to do it. You gotta pour.

• 23:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:27Speaker 04

  You spin, you wipe the thing. I said, great.

• 23:29Speaker 01

  That's more than an extra.

• 23:30Speaker 04

  I come in, well, it was a chosen extra. I got chosen. I was chosen. I got put forward.

• 23:34Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 23:35Speaker 04

  And the whole game was how do you get your SAG card?

• 23:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:38Speaker 04

  Because you can't get a job. You don't have your SAG card, but you can't get your SAG card unless you've had a job. So it was just catch 22.

• 23:45Dax Shepard?

  Specifically, you need to speak.

• 23:46Speaker 04

  Yeah. You gotta speak. That was the, that was the.

• 23:49Dax Shepard?

  Barrier entry.

• 23:50Speaker 04

  Yes. And like a jackass, they're having the scene, they're doing the scene. I get to the last, the last actor. And she seemed lower on the totem pole, like, maybe. And literally the scene is going on. I pour her champagne and I go, would you like anything else?

• 24:13Speaker 04

  I want them dailies from them.

• 24:14Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 24:15Speaker 04

  Listen to this.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh.

• 24:16Speaker 04

  It was.

• 24:19Speaker 04

  First AD runs over, you do that again, you're out of here.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 24:23Speaker 04

  This is just shame for the rest of the night.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  That's so.

• 24:27Speaker 04

  Took a shot.

• 24:29Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 24:36Dax Shepard?

  This episode is supported by Helix.

• 24:39Speaker 01

  Dax, is there anything better than crawling into a perfect bed on a cold fall night? Candlelit, hoodie on, maybe even some rain outside, the dream.

• 24:50Dax Shepard?

  That's the dream. You just described one of my ideal fall nights.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  I know. And thanks to Helix, my bed actually lives up to the vibe. All I had to do was take the Helix Sleep Quiz and within two minutes, they matched me to a mattress built for exactly how I sleep. I have a midnight mattress. It also has cooling technology.

• 25:08Dax Shepard?

  Ooh.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  Which I really.

• 25:10Dax Shepard?

  Increasingly so.

• 25:11Speaker 01

  I need it. I have to have it. And I heard that you're supposed to sleep at a cold temp.

• 25:18Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Optimal sleep. It's very, very helpful.

• 25:21Dax Shepard?

  She is not wrong. I have one too, and it's been such a game changer for sleep. And I love that they make it so easy. Free shipping right to your door. And with their happy with Helix guarantee, you'll get a full 365 nights to try it. A whole year to live in that cozy. They've got over 20 mattress models, so no matter how you sleep, they've got one for you.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  And it's not just us saying it. Helix has been named the most awarded mattress brand by Forbes, Wired, and more. You gotta try it for yourself.

• 25:48Dax Shepard?

  Go to helixsleep.com/armchair for 20% off site wide. That's helixsleep.com/armchair for 20% off site wide. Helixsleep.com/armchair. This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I have my dream job. I get to talk to folks I admire like crazy and ask them virtually any question that I want to. I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. But even dream jobs have some not so dreamy parts, the stuff that gets in the way. Of the actual work. Now that's where Service Now's AI specialists come in. They don't just tell you what you should do about your busy work.

• 26:31Dax Shepard?

  They actually do it, start to finish, cases closed, requests handled, no extra work for you. So you and your team can focus on what matters most, which for me is, are they obsessed with male bodies on the same level as I am?

• 26:44Speaker 01

  They never are.

• 26:45Dax Shepard?

  To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com. We get support from our sponsor Lilly. For adults with obesity or with excess weight and weight-related medical problems, it's time to find out about Foundo or for Gleepran. Foundo is a once daily prescription GLP-1 medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off.

• 27:16Speaker 05

  Foundo should not be used with other GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Foundo is safe and effective for use in children. Don't take Foundo if you're allergic to it, or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer or multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type two. Stop and call your doctor right away if you have an allergic reaction, a lump or swelling in your neck, or severe stomach pain. Serious side effects may include inflamed pancreas and gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes, if you're nursing, pregnant, plant to be or taking birth control pills, and before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. Taking Foundo with an insulin or sulfonylurea may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and may cause kidney problems.

• 27:56Speaker 05

  Once Daily Foundo is available by prescription only in 0.8 milligram, 2.5 milligram, 5.5 milligram, 9 milligram, 14.5 milligram, and 17.2 milligram tablets. Learn more at foundo.lilly.com or call 1-800-LILY-RX. Now is perfect to talk to your doctor about Foundo.

• 28:13Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Instagram teen accounts. So we talk a lot on this show about how the world is different now than when we were growing up. And one of the biggest differences is obviously social media. And I think a lot of people wonder, okay, what's actually being done to make it safer for teenagers?

• 28:30Speaker 01

  Which is a fair question.

• 28:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So Instagram has got something called teen accounts and they come with automatic protections built in by default. So anyone between 13 and 17 is automatically placed into this experience. They get age appropriate content settings, contact limits, so that by default, only people they're already connected to can message them. And time management tools, daily time limit reminders, and also sleep mode that mutes notifications from 10:00 PM to 7:00 AM.

• 28:57Speaker 01

  Sleep mode is genius.

• 28:58Dax Shepard?

  Right? And here's the thing, for anyone under 16, a parent has to give permission to change any of those settings to be less strict. The guardrails are on and Instagram keeps building new safety features to create age appropriate experiences for teens.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  I am really glad Instagram's helping to give parents peace of mind with teen accounts.

• 29:18Dax Shepard?

  Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 29:30Dax Shepard?

  From episode 949 with Dominic Fike.

• 29:36Dax Shepard?

  Okay, but you didn't get to cocaine or breaking house arrest.

• 29:39Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:40Dax Shepard?

  So you're in there focusing and doing wonders for your songwriting, but...

• 29:44Speaker 06

  But I'm in a room all day and I'm trapped all day. And even now that that's my job, it's like, I still know that I have to step away sometimes, even if I want to. I know that it's healthy to step away.

• 29:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, isolation is...

• 29:54Speaker 06

  It's a bitch.

• 29:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:56Speaker 06

  Yeah. So I start using everything I can that has a short span in your stream. Coke's like three days, yeah?

• 30:04Dax Shepard?

  Is that what it is?

• 30:04Speaker 06

  I don't know. I was when I was looking it up. Work out, do this.

• 30:08Dax Shepard?

  I wasn't taking a lot of piss tests when I was smoking crack. This may surprise you. Hold any employment.

• 30:13Speaker 06

  You know what's funny? Me neither, but I think it's like something in middle school that you do with friends when it comes to weed is like you guys discuss like the shelf life of drugs in your system.

• 30:20Dax Shepard?

  I do know weed lasts for like a month. I know that one.

• 30:23Speaker 06

  Yeah, everyone knows that. Every guy knows that.

• 30:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and meth lasts a while in your system. But I don't know the coke thing. I should have.

• 30:30Speaker 06

  Coke's one of the quicker ones. So I'm doing coke.

• 30:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 30:33Speaker 06

  Right?

• 30:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, because you might take a piss test. I guess you are on house arrest.

• 30:37Speaker 06

  That's true. I'm bored. I'm bored. And like the girls are always at work and their mom lived there too, but she's always at work. She's trying to get me to go to school. She's like, Dom, you need to do something with your life. I'm telling her I'm making a mixtape. Kid with a face tat smoking dope, doing coke in her fucking apartment, talking about a mixtape, you know?

• 30:54Dax Shepard?

  I'm not necessarily investing on that startup.

• 30:57Speaker 06

  No one gave a damn.

• 31:00Speaker 06

  And then I get called in for, I think, and it's right as I finished the last song on the mixtape, I'm up doing coke that night. And the dude calls me at 7 a.m. He's like, Dominic, another drug test. And I'm thinking like, oh, I just did it. So it's probably not even in there yet.

• 31:16Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 31:16Speaker 06

  Oh, like I just did a five minutes. Like, what's up, Pete? Give me the cup, motherfucker.

• 31:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 31:21Speaker 06

  He gives me the cup and I just failed. And he put cuffs on me right there. I'd never been so in disbelief. Oh, wow.

• 31:28Dax Shepard?

  We thought you had it all.

• 31:29Speaker 06

  Well, the coke will do that, won't it?

• 31:30Dax Shepard?

  That's the great thing about coke. It makes you optimistic. That's why it's a relief.

• 31:34Speaker 06

  And then I went to jail for a while and during that time in jail, I released the mixtape.

• 31:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So how was the time in jail? You were in county?

• 31:42Speaker 06

  It was awesome.

• 31:43Dax Shepard?

  It was great.

• 31:43Speaker 06

  I'm not even kidding. Really? I had a good time in jail.

• 31:46Dax Shepard?

  Again, this is a stereotype, but I'm worried how cute you are. I'm a little worried about how cute you are.

• 31:51Speaker 06

  Well, that's scary.

• 31:51Dax Shepard?

  I know. I said I hate to perpetuate a stereotype.

• 31:54Speaker 06

  Okay, so it's not really like that no more. Okay, tell us. There's this thing called like Peta, Peta, Peta, Reda, something like that. It's some four letter acronym.

• 32:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 32:04Speaker 06

  That is against prison rape.

• 32:06Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so we got some action in there now.

• 32:08Speaker 06

  We got some protests. It's huge. It's like, it's like dare, but if it's like they kept doing dare. Oh, wow. And it was a huge nationwide. And it worked.

• 32:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 32:16Speaker 06

  Cause I was in, yeah, I had full, long hair. This was before I, you know, I was like 20, 20 in there. Oh, no. I was a piece of ass. Yeah.

• 32:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, there we go. You're a piece of ass.

• 32:26Speaker 06

  I was.

• 32:26Dax Shepard?

  Call it what it is.

• 32:27Speaker 06

  I was. Yeah, and I was in a um violent block because of my charge. So my my bunkie was just a murdered his family.

• 32:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 32:37Speaker 06

  Hilarious, though. It's the funniest guy, like the funniest guy.

• 32:41Dax Shepard?

  Well, if you can't laugh about murdering your family.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  What can you laugh at?

• 32:45Speaker 06

  If you can't laugh with him because you killed them all.

• 32:47Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Wait, how old are you at this point, then?

• 32:51Speaker 06

  I'm like 20, 21.

• 32:53Speaker 01

  Okay, and how long were you in jail?

• 32:55Speaker 06

  Like a year.

• 32:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 32:56Speaker 06

  Yeah, so, you know.

• 32:58Dax Shepard?

  Wait.

• 32:58Speaker 01

  Murder.

• 32:59Dax Shepard?

  I did have one question we blew past. Did you watch Florida Project?

• 33:03Speaker 06

  No, I never watched Florida Project. I was never into people like making their projects about their like movies about my town because they always did it wrong. And I just didn't want to be let down and pissed off with.

• 33:12Dax Shepard?

  I don't think you will be with that. I I hadn't seen it when everyone else saw it, but then I loved Anora.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:18Dax Shepard?

  And then so I went back.

• 33:19Speaker 06

  Nora's great.

• 33:19Dax Shepard?

  And watched Florida Project. Florida Project's better than Anora, and I love Anora. Florida Project is fucking.

• 33:25Speaker 06

  That's a crazy take.

• 33:26Dax Shepard?

  It's awesome.

• 33:27Speaker 06

  Sean Baker's amazing. Did he do? Oh, he did Florida Project.

• 33:29Dax Shepard?

  He did Florida Project.

• 33:30Speaker 06

  Okay, we love Sean Baker, though.

• 33:31Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and it has this impossible thing that like kids have. Once every 30 years, someone captures little kids being little kids. And it like, you're like, how did they get this to happen?

• 33:41Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:41Dax Shepard?

  It's like, it's magic.

• 33:42Speaker 06

  The first time you saw Dakota Fanning. What the fuck's going on?

• 33:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I am Sam.

• 33:47Dax Shepard?

  Very more E.T.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  Drew Barrymore E.T.

• 33:50Dax Shepard?

  So you piss hot, you go to county.

• 33:53Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 33:54Dax Shepard?

  You release the music. Now, this is so improbable. By the time you get out?

• 33:59Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 34:00Dax Shepard?

  By the time they he gets out, there is a bidding war.

• 34:03Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 34:03Dax Shepard?

  To sign you.

• 34:04Speaker 06

  Mm hmm.

• 34:05Dax Shepard?

  And you sign at Columbia for $4 million?

• 34:08Speaker 06

  Mm hmm.

• 34:09Dax Shepard?

  What? I mean, I'm going a lot of way. This is up there with um.

• 34:13Speaker 01

  Hee Hee Kwan, yeah.

• 34:14Dax Shepard?

  Hee Hee Kwan.

• 34:15Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 34:16Dax Shepard?

  He's on a refugee ship.

• 34:18Speaker 06

  Oh, wow.

• 34:19Dax Shepard?

  Within a year, he's flying first class to fucking uh.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  To Steven Spielberg.

• 34:23Dax Shepard?

  To be in Indiana Jones.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:25Speaker 06

  Wow.

• 34:25Dax Shepard?

  So, yeah, this getting out of prison to a $4 million contract, how do you compute that?

• 34:29Speaker 06

  Yeah, so I I don't know. It was it was kind of like the first of its kind in that span of time to happen to this bidding war thing. I'd never been a part of anything like that.

• 34:39Dax Shepard?

  Because it was being on SoundCloud, right? You had put it all on SoundCloud?

• 34:41Speaker 06

  Yeah, I put it on SoundCloud and then. My manager Reed, who's still my manager to this day, takes it off real quick because he sees it starting to garner like attention.

• 34:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 34:50Speaker 06

  And we had a couple like suits reach out. We'd never been in contact with anybody like that. I've been releasing music for five years at this point, you know? All over, any way I can get it, I'm releasing it. So then people start reaching out and these dudes start flying from California to visit me in the jail. No. Like, I'm not even kidding you, I'm at the, like this type of shit. Like with this dude that's like, hey Dominic, you ready to be a millionaire?

• 35:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and you're like.

• 35:13Speaker 06

  I'm homeless.

• 35:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I'm not doing this for a penny under four million. You can take three million, shove it in your.

• 35:19Speaker 06

  Well, what had happened, what had happened was my mom is in jail and my dad's in jail at this point for 20 years. Both are facing 20 years because my family, this whole time, my family, they're huge heroin dealers. Huge heroin traffickers. My dad Sean, my stepdad Sean's a heroin trafficker. Like, we're all chilling at one point. And we'd been doing this for years, living in hotels, selling coke or whatever. It worked out, it put me through school, you know, at the time. And then the doors, all the doors get kicked down at our hotels and at our other houses. And everyone's taken to jail, marshals, you know, it's in the news. I'm seeing them both, I'm like, oh man, they're fucked, like 20 years each. So I'm in jail too. And my sister's up for adoption because of this. And my brother's in jail. And I need to get my sister out of adoption. I need to get my mom out of jail and I need to get my stepdad out of jail.

• 36:03Speaker 06

  So, you know, each lawyer for them is 200 grand, 200 grand apiece. And then to get my sister out, I'm still paying for that to this day. Wow. So I'm like, thinking about my position and I'm homeless at the time. You know, and I need some fucking money.

• 36:18Dax Shepard?

  You're in jail yourself.

• 36:18Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 36:19Dax Shepard?

  You're damn self.

• 36:19Speaker 06

  This is my work that y'all are buying. All this is in my head, you know, at the time. And it wasn't that I came up with like four million. It was just more like, these dudes, I had never seen money over a thousand dollars.

• 36:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

• 36:32Speaker 06

  So motherfuckers are like 200,000. I'm like, that sounds like a not real number, I guess, cool. I'm not pushing it up. Another dude flies from another label, comes to the jail, says a bigger number. Right. And then I didn't even know this was a thing. I tell that dude that the guy said a bigger number. Yeah. This motherfucker goes with a bigger number. I'm like, wow, this, I feel like I'm a, like a, you know, athlete. Yeah. You're in Jerry Maguire. Jerry Maguire, yeah, dude, that movie's so funny. We get to the point where we're in LA and on top of the Columbia building. Or the Sony building, because at this point, Rob Stringer's involved, like the dude who owns Sony. He's like, all right, who's this motherfucker? Like, everyone's throwing this money around. Who's this guy? He comes to meet me. We're in a meeting and at this point, I got my, like, I got the, I know how to do this money thing.

• 37:17Speaker 06

  So I'm in the room and I'm like playing them songs and they're like, oh, these are so good. And then I'm like, yeah, well, you never know. And I'm about to walk out and Rob Stringer's like, so what, are we doing this or not? Because he's a businessman. He's like a real, I respect him so much. He's like, are we doing this or not? I'm like, well, and Ron's like, maybe we could. And he's like, no, no more millions. Are we doing this right now? I'm like, yeah, I'll do it right now. And we just sign it and, and, and we pop a bottle of champagne on this rooftop. It's me, Rob and a couple of my friends. And then I go into the bathroom and I'm like, yeah, I gotta piss because of all the champagne. And I'm looking at my phone, the bank account, shouldn't I see the number jump?

• 37:50Speaker 07

  No way.

• 37:51Speaker 06

  At the urinal. And then from then on, I just don't remember. It's been like seven years of.

• 37:57Dax Shepard?

  From episode 879 with Dove Cameron.

• 38:05Dax Shepard?

  Were you having any guilt about being in Burbank?

• 38:11Speaker 07

  Yeah, I, I mean, I, it was a weird thing because to be completely honest, I tried to mend my relationship with my dad a lot. And I think there's this thing that happens with depression. A lot of people who are depressed, um, where they are perpetually pushing people away.

• 38:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:29Speaker 07

  And for the entirety of like 13 and 14 and 15, I was really trying to connect with my dad. I think, you know, he was always a depressive person. Like my mom and him met and he was like, I'm super suicidal. And she was like, okay, I'm 20, we're gonna try to get you out of this, you know? Oh, boy. Yeah, so, so it was always sort of, um, there, but I really, at 13 and 14 and 15, I was really just like, I miss my dad. I know something's weird. He doesn't answer when I call.

• 39:05Dax Shepard?

  Well, the most heartbreaking part from, it would seem to me is that you at least had the fantasy at all times. This'll get repaired one day.

• 39:13Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 39:14Dax Shepard?

  I keep trying, but one day he's gonna be feeling better and I can get it repaired.

• 39:19Speaker 07

  Yeah. Sorry.

• 39:20Dax Shepard?

  You know, and then they go like, uh, oh, God, yeah, I'm not gonna be able to repair that. It's fucking.

• 39:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 39:27Dax Shepard?

  Really sad.

• 39:28Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, it's true. It's, um. It's also like, I think about this a lot because I was so young. And I, like, I have a memory of him, like, coming to stay with us once in Burbank.

• 39:47Speaker 07

  And I just remember, like, thinking all the color had left his face and I didn't know, like, he was drinking so heavily and all of that.

• 39:55Speaker 07

  And I remember being, like, young enough, like, fourteen, he was staying on, like, a little blow-up mattress or something in our living room. And I just came out to, like, like, he wasn't looking me in the eye, like, it was all this stuff that I, like, didn't really, I thought he was mad at me, right?

• 40:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:11Speaker 07

  And I, like, came to, like, say goodnight or, like, lay down next to him or something. And, because I was still, like, a very young fourteen, like, I wasn't, like, uh, like, mentally I was mature, but I was still, like, I wasn't dating, I was, I was very, like, my parents' kid and I was very insulated. And, like, I don't know, maybe, like, very protected. And I remember, like, laying down next to him just for a second to be, like, cuddle time, like, routine, and he, like, didn't really move, and I remember him being, like, I think you should, you should go to bed. And I was like, and I remember receiving that as just, like, such a rejection that, like, he didn't wanna... And I, and I didn't know what it was, like, I truly thought he was angry with me for something, and you know, when you're a kid, like, you blame yourself.

• 40:55Dax Shepard?

  Of course.

• 40:56Speaker 07

  You really blame yourself, and so I was like, maybe I'm behaving badly or something, I didn't really get it.

• 41:01Dax Shepard?

  Or I would just feel guilty that I'm pursuing my own life.

• 41:04Speaker 07

  Yeah, like...

• 41:05Dax Shepard?

  Is he mad that I'm pursuing my own life and I'm...

• 41:08Speaker 07

  I mean, he was always, like, kind of vaguely supportive, I guess, like, he was worried about me more than anything, like, he was worried that I wasn't gonna be able to survive in Hollywood, um, and I knew that, but he was never, like, I, the thing was, I had gone back to see him after I had lived in L.A. for a year and I stayed, like, at our home for the summer, at our, at our family home. And I, I went, because I wanted to spend the summer with my dad and I wanted to see him and we hadn't seen each other for so long and I remember him doing everything he could to get me to not stay with him, like, he would send me to stay with my friends and I, I actually...

• 41:44Dax Shepard?

  He probably didn't want you to see him, how he was existing, yeah.

• 41:48Speaker 07

  Yeah, and I remember, like, he was, like, a famously, um...

• 41:53Speaker 07

  Like tight-walleted man, like he was always like, you get $100 for clothes every year before school. And if you grow out of them, that's your problem. Yeah. You go secondhand shopping.

• 42:01Dax Shepard?

  Six outfits out of this.

• 42:02Speaker 07

  Yeah. He's like, if you grow, that's your fucking problem. And then the rest, like you have a sewing machine figured out. And I was like, all right. But he, the, the year, the, the summer that I stayed with him, I remember he was like, just giving me money, like just cash money to get out of the house. And I was like, that's so bizarre. And I, I didn't really realize that he had already sort of put a plan in place where it was like,

• 42:23Dax Shepard?

  He didn't need it anymore.

• 42:24Speaker 07

  No, he got rid of all of the animals. He was getting rid of all of his money.

• 42:28Dax Shepard?

  God, isn't it weird to think of someone planning for that long, something like that?

• 42:33Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 42:33Dax Shepard?

  It goes against my stereotype of it, like overwhelming you in a moment as opposed to.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  Right. Well, it might not have been as consciously planned as just like, I, I don't want anything. Like you're.

• 42:48Dax Shepard?

  You've lost even the desire.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  Yes. You've lost the desire to even care for anything or have anything.

• 42:53Speaker 07

  I, I still go back and forth on that because I found out later that he was paying like my friend's mom to like get me groceries and all, like basically was just like pawning me off on another family. And I was so, I honestly just thought he was mad at me. Like I internalized it like for two years that he was just mad at me. And I was constantly trying to fix our relationship and reach out and he just wasn't having it. Um, and so I, I don't, I don't think at the time I felt guilty for being in LA so much as like, even when I was on the island still, he was not really wanting to see me. And so I was kind of like, I'm always here. I'm always wanting to connect with you.

• 43:38Dax Shepard?

  Your side of the street was clean.

• 43:39Speaker 07

  And I found out also that like, he had attempted, um, something really publicly and my mom kept that from me. And that was like a big sort of turning point in like my mental health was just being like, what do I not know is going on, you know?

• 43:55Dax Shepard?

  Right, right.

• 43:56Speaker 07

  Um, and my mom was probably right to keep that from me. But of course, when I was like 14 or something, I was like, what the fuck? So I, I really didn't know what to think of it. Like he, he, the last thing he texted me was like, I love you, Chloe. And then it was like, we got a call the next day. And it was like, Yeah, it's really crazy. I honestly don't like talk about it too much.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, understandable.

• 44:19Speaker 07

  Not because it's hard, honestly, because I do talk about it.

• 44:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 44:22Speaker 07

  But I talk about it with this kind of like, here are the facts.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can disassociate a little bit.

• 44:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So I went into therapy for the very first time, like two, three years ago or two, whatever it was.

• 44:32Speaker 07

  Oh, really? Wow.

• 44:33Dax Shepard?

  Weirdly, since I was in recovery for so long and I was like, well, I'm getting everything I need from there, but whatever I did. And yeah, I, I can tell you my story. I can tell anyone my story.

• 44:42Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:43Dax Shepard?

  And it is, it's a list, it's a timeline.

• 44:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:46Dax Shepard?

  It's like, then this happened, then this happened. And then in that therapy session, as I was talking to him, for the very first time, the emotions were attached to the timeline.

• 44:55Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:56Dax Shepard?

  And they just are not generally for me. Uh, yeah. So I can relate to like these moments where like, oh, okay, the emotions are here now with the story.

• 45:05Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 45:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 45:06Speaker 07

  I think also like, I think also some, it's, it's really hard to, a lot of the time, like, trauma is very sensationalized. I'm sure you know.

• 45:15Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 45:15Speaker 07

  I've become very protective of that over the years because I used to be much more open about speaking about it. I had a friend who died very publicly in the last few years, and that was when I sort of tried to reorient a little bit my autonomy over like where, what spaces I share that much.

• 45:35Dax Shepard?

  Well, my therapist said to me, he's like, you know, some stuff you, you can keep for yourself. Not because you're, you're hiding it out of shame, but just, it's yours to keep and you should keep it for yourself. Like also having it for you in a weird way, which was a new concept for me.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  Sort of the opposite of what we were talking about earlier, which I was actually gonna say that, like, I think it's actually okay. Not out of shame, but when we were saying like, sharing is important, and of course it is, but it's okay to have things that are just yours.

• 46:03Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 46:04Speaker 01

  And it doesn't mean like it's your secret. It's just like, it's yours and you can protect that if you want.

• 46:11Dax Shepard?

  Just like sliding that line back and forth. And it's like, yeah, I felt comfortable with it here. And now I feel more comfortable with it here and it'll probably change again.

• 46:19Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 46:19Dax Shepard?

  And it's fine. There's not a right or a wrong. It's just like, yeah, am I betraying myself? Do I regret it later?

• 46:26Speaker 07

  Right, right.

• 46:27Dax Shepard?

  You did make me cry today though, because I was seeing the tattoo that you got. And I have little girls.

• 46:34Speaker 07

  No.

• 46:35Dax Shepard?

  And I say that same thing to them all the time.

• 46:38Speaker 07

  Really? Oh, my God. You're gonna make me cry. That's so beautiful.

• 46:43Dax Shepard?

  And I was like, oh, my God, I can't.

• 46:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, if they had to tattoo that on them at some point. Cause something went sideways. You know, it's just heartbreaking.

• 46:55Speaker 01

  What is it? What is the tattoo? If you don't mind sharing.

• 46:58Speaker 07

  It says, we'll be friends forever. Which is just like the sweetest.

• 47:05Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God. I'm like almost every day. Otherwise, I go like, you know, we're gonna be best friends for the rest of your life.

• 47:10Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 47:11Dax Shepard?

  Rest of my life.

• 47:12Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 47:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, unless I get a procedure, hopefully. I live for 180.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, you gotta work on that.

• 47:17Dax Shepard?

  Maybe I can do it with the whole time. Yeah, I'm like, we're fucking best friends from this day till the end.

• 47:23Speaker 07

  Well, and that's what it should be, right? Like, I was, I, I'm so like moved to hear you say that about your girls.

• 47:29Dax Shepard?

  Cause. Oh, yeah.

• 47:30Speaker 07

  Cause I, I truly was best friends with my dad, like, and he, he really like, he tried his best, you know?

• 47:36Dax Shepard?

  There's probably equally sweet relationships, but I find it hard to believe there are.

• 47:42Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. We get support from Superhuman. Look, I love what I do. The conversations, the ideas, the creative stuff. But there's this whole other layer of work that eats my day alive. The inbox that never ends. Docs I need to get through, threads I'm behind on. And by the time I've dealt with all that, the stuff I actually want to focus on gets whatever's left. What I needed was something that just works where I'm already working. Not another tab to open, not another thing to set up. Superhuman Go from the makers of Grammarly is different. It's already right there inside your email, your docs, your browser. You don't go to it. It's already working alongside you.

• 48:26Dax Shepard?

  You're deep in a long thread, highlight it, and it pulls the key points. About to send something important? It flags what doesn't add up before it leaves your hands. It knows your style, your workflows, and it just backs you up without getting in the way. A thought partner that's already up to speed at your service, not after your job. So do yourself a favor and try Superhuman Go from the makers of Grammarly. Find out more at superhuman.com.

• 48:53Dax Shepard?

  We get support by Peloton. You know that feeling when you're spiraling over a problem and you just can't figure it out? When that happens to me, I need a change of pace. And I've found that running is the best way. It takes my brain out of the driver's seat and I come back with a fresh perspective. Running can be freeing and cathartic and Peloton helps you feel all of that. And now that feeling fits wherever you need it with the new Peloton Tread Flex. It's movable and foldable, designed to fit your life. So next time you feel stuck, you can go for a run literally anywhere. Whether that's in your office, living room, or even the attic. Plus, they have classes with expert instructors and programs to meet you at any level and keep you moving. Let yourself run.

• 49:36Dax Shepard?

  Explore the new Peloton Tread Flex at onepeloton.com. We get support from ZipRecruiter. Oh, get recruiting. So I went down this rabbit hole the other day on real holiday jobs that exist and I couldn't stop. Somebody out there is hiring a ham glazer, a professional ham glazer. Another place is hiring a lead elf, implying a whole hierarchy of elves I had never even considered. Here's the thing, these jobs need real skills. People like that are hard to find. And whether you're hiring for one of these roles or any other role, the best way to find qualified people who are genuinely excited about your role is on ZipRecruiter. And right now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/dax.

• 50:21Dax Shepard?

  Plus ZipRecruiter has a new feature that shows you the most interested qualified candidates first. So you meet the right people faster. No wonder ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on G2. Let ZipRecruiter find the right people for your roles, seasonal or otherwise. Try it for free today at ziprecruiter.com/dax. At ziprecruiter.com/dax, meet your match on ZipRecruiter.

• 50:49Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Skims. So Monica just informed me that she's a girl's girl and I nodded like I knew exactly what that meant.

• 50:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, but the girls who get it, they get it.

• 51:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay, but for those of us who are clearly not girls, walk me through it.

• 51:04Speaker 01

  Well, you know how much I love my Skims fleece joggers? Because the plush fleece is so soft, it's cozy, it's really comfortable without feeling too heavy. Well, I went to friend them and she would not stop talking about how comfy they were. She almost didn't give them back to me, which was upsetting, but I'm a girl's girl, so I let her have it.

• 51:21Dax Shepard?

  Great, great, great.

• 51:22Speaker 01

  So the sleep sets are awesome because they are very soft and comfortable, but they're cute. If I'm in my sleep set, I feel fine about going down the street to pick up my food. I'm still looking cute, but I'm comfy and I'm cozy.

• 51:36Dax Shepard?

  Roger.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  A really fun thing to do is if you're going on vacation with your girlfriends, to get matching Skims pajamas. I've done this with Callie and it is so fun. First of all, the pics are so cute, but also it's just fun and friendship.

• 51:49Dax Shepard?

  So a girl's girl is looking out for your friends with better loungewear. I get it. Am I one of your girls now?

• 51:55Speaker 01

  You are. You and the other girlies can shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

• 52:12Dax Shepard?

  From episode 923 with Alexander Skarsgård.

• 52:19Dax Shepard?

  I was out here forever before I started working.

• 52:22Speaker 08

  Okay.

• 52:23Dax Shepard?

  Like a painfully long.

• 52:24Speaker 08

  I booked the first audition I went to.

• 52:27Dax Shepard?

  Zoolander?

• 52:28Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 52:28Dax Shepard?

  That's fine, because then nothing happened for a long time, American film wise.

• 52:32Speaker 08

  We don't need to talk about that. Let's just talk and focus on the fact that I booked my first audition.

• 52:37Dax Shepard?

  It's very Ashton Kutcher of you.

• 52:38Speaker 08

  So it's one for one.

• 52:41Speaker 08

  Well, I did.

• 52:42Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you did?

• 52:43Speaker 08

  I was working as a hot barista in Stockholm. And then I can, um, dad was shooting a movie out here in LA. And we all came out just to visit and my, my dad's manager, he's just like, I'll send you out to an audition if you want. And it was for a Zoolander.

• 53:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 53:04Speaker 08

  Um, and I booked that baby.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 53:07Speaker 08

  I remember thinking, because again, I didn't have representation out here. I'd never been on audition.

• 53:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 53:13Speaker 08

  I'd never auditioned in Sweden for anything. I was just like, oh, I guess this is how Hollywood works. You walk into a room and Ben Stiller's sitting there and then you're like, all right.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 53:23Speaker 08

  You know, listen to a little wham and drive down and have a gasoline fight.

• 53:27Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 53:28Speaker 08

  So then I went back to Stockholm and my dad's manager was like, all right, that went all right. Um, if you wanted.

• 53:35Dax Shepard?

  We could build on that.

• 53:36Speaker 08

  Yeah, if you should come back when, you know, you're done with your, whatever you're doing out there and we'll, we'll send you out some stuff.

• 53:42Dax Shepard?

  Serve all those coffees.

• 53:42Speaker 08

  Yeah. Then I came out in, I think, 2003, maybe.

• 53:46Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 53:46Speaker 08

  Incredibly naive, thinking like, all right. Alright Hollywood.

• 53:51Dax Shepard?

  I finally decided.

• 53:52Speaker 08

  You're welcome Hollywood, I'm here.

• 53:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, here I am.

• 53:54Dax Shepard?

  I'll take it.

• 53:54Speaker 08

  Yeah. You'll find me at Starbucks on Sunset Boulevard. Come get me Spielberg. And he didn't, and no one else did either.

• 54:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, cuz Zoolander is 2001.

• 54:05Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 54:05Dax Shepard?

  And Generation Kills 2008.

• 54:07Speaker 08

  We shot it in 2007.

• 54:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 54:09Speaker 08

  Yeah, it came out in 2008.

• 54:11Dax Shepard?

  So were you here the majority of those six years?

• 54:14Speaker 08

  Yes, sir.

• 54:14Dax Shepard?

  Yes, okay, this is what I wanna live in because again, I did that.

• 54:19Speaker 01

  It's the most relatable part of your story.

• 54:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 54:22Speaker 08

  I like to be relatable.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, we all do.

• 54:24Dax Shepard?

  But I didn't have on top of that, well, my dad's great at it and he's really successful and I should be able to do this. Was that a compounding, or was it fine, or was it grueling?

• 54:37Speaker 08

  The dad relationship wasn't really grueling, or that wasn't something that I felt that I... I didn't feel like an external pressure to like live up to or, or, or, or, um, reach his level of success, or it was...

• 54:56Speaker 08

  It was hard because I couldn't get a job, that was hard, you know?

• 55:00Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 55:01Speaker 08

  And the fact that I came out of being very naive, thinking like, oh, it's super easy.

• 55:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 55:06Speaker 08

  And Zoolander was a great experience and it was also like a super fun movie.

• 55:10Dax Shepard?

  Fuck, yeah.

• 55:10Speaker 08

  And then I found myself like auditioning for things that I didn't really like.

• 55:14Dax Shepard?

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:15Speaker 08

  But I was also in a position where I had, I was at another agency then, um, and I was constantly worried that they would drop me because I wasn't booking anything.

• 55:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and you're like paying to get new headshots all the time, you're just kinda...

• 55:28Speaker 08

  Yeah, and they, you know, pilot season, I would audition a lot, not book anything. And then it would be like weeks without an auditions. When they finally called and they're like, we have this job. Audition, um, even if I felt like, ah, this is terrible and I'm so not right for it.

• 55:46Speaker 01

  You had to do.

• 55:47Speaker 08

  Cause then you have to do it. Cause then like, I was constantly worried. They would be like, well, you know what? I think it's time for us to part ways.

• 55:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 55:53Speaker 08

  And that's, I don't know if you have to do that, but like auditioning for stuff that you don't believe in.

• 55:58Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 55:58Speaker 08

  And where you feel like you're completely wrong for it. It, you feel dirty in your soul. Like it was horrible.

• 56:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. You're already worried you're not good enough to do this job. And then when you go in and try to put your square peg in that round hole, it just is like, oh my God.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  Mixed with, no, you think, sometimes you think you're too good to do it. You're like, I'm better than this horrible piece of shit. And then you don't book it.

• 56:20Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  And you're like, oh my God, what is this like?

• 56:23Speaker 08

  Yeah. And then you get from there to being like, well, I'm clearly not better than this horrible piece of shit.

• 56:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:29Speaker 08

  I'm so wrong for it. And I know I'm not going to book it, but I still have to go into that room and be humiliated.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:36Speaker 08

  So I, yeah. Well, the first couple of years I went out with a bunch of friends from Sweden. And we kind of had a little, we, first we rented like a little pool house in Santa Monica. So four of us lived in a small pool house of this Swedish lady.

• 56:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 56:48Speaker 08

  And then we're renting a, a small apartment. But so we had each other. I didn't know anyone else out here.

• 56:53Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 56:53Speaker 08

  So, and we were definitely not plugged into the city or the nightlife or like.

• 56:57Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 56:58Speaker 08

  We would, yeah, on, on Saturdays, we would like play ping pong in our pool house in Santa Monica and drink beer. And then take a cab into Hollywood to try to get into a nightclub, knowing that we wouldn't get in.

• 57:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:12Speaker 08

  Four dudes.

• 57:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 57:14Speaker 08

  Get Turner out and then happily get back in the cab and go back to Santa Monica.

• 57:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:20Speaker 08

  And keep drinking beer, play more ping pong. So that was like our weekend routine.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  Having done that, do you ever now, like, this happened to me. I went to Craig's and I, you know, there's so, do you ever go to Craig's? Have you ever been to Craig's in what, West Hollywood-ish? It's a restaurant. There's always paparazzi there and it's always like.

• 57:37Speaker 08

  It's a hotspot.

• 57:38Speaker 01

  It's a hotspot. And I just imagine you going to Craig's now or coming out, like it'd be a frenzy. It'd be like a whole to do. And I wonder how you can, can sort of reconcile that as someone who would just like stand in the line at the club and never be able to get in. And now they're like, they would die for you to come in. Is that, can you like integrate that?

• 58:00Speaker 08

  No, I just remember after a couple of years, we met a Swedish girl out here who like, and, and she was plugged into the city and she was so nice. Yeah, she moved out of here when she was like 20, but she was very plugged into the city.

• 58:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 58:14Speaker 08

  And she would take pity on us. So she would like, I remember like we would try to get into a nightclub, couldn't get in and my buddy called her and like, Helena, do you know anyone here at the club? Can we get, and she's like, I'll be right down, boys. And then she would come down in her sweatpants to just like,

• 58:32Dax Shepard?

  Get you in.

• 58:33Speaker 08

  Sell the pointer to be like the bouncer. It was like, hey, can you let these guys in? And he's like, oh, all right, Helena. And then she would go back home. So she wouldn't even go out. Like, that's so sweet of her.

• 58:42Speaker 01

  That was nice.

• 58:43Speaker 08

  She knew that we spent years going like into clubs, not getting in, back to Santa Monica to play ping pong. So a couple of times we did like,

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:51Speaker 08

  Have the luxury of getting in somewhere.

• 58:52Dax Shepard?

  I can tell you how I integrate it. I wanted that.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:56Dax Shepard?

  And I have it and I love that. I love that when I drive by all these places that for years kind of haunted me. Like I'd be afraid to even try to get in.

• 59:06Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 59:07Dax Shepard?

  Just knowing as I drive by, oh, they would let me in.

• 59:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:10Dax Shepard?

  I love that.

• 59:11Speaker 08

  But I can't, and again, this is the yandere log, the Swedish thing. I can't walk up to a bouncer. Like if there's a line, I can't walk up and be like, what's up?

• 59:20Speaker 01

  Let me in.

• 59:20Speaker 08

  Google me.

• 59:21Dax Shepard?

  Succession bitch.

• 59:22Speaker 08

  Dude, Google me.

• 59:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:24Dax Shepard?

  Google me. I dare you.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  But you wouldn't have to. As soon as you get out of the car, they're gonna be like, oh, oh, Alex is here. We gotta get him in.

• 59:33Speaker 08

  Yeah, but the Swedish me would be like,

• 59:35Speaker 01

  I'm gonna wait.

• 59:35Speaker 08

  Look down, back of the line.

• 59:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 59:37Speaker 08

  Shut up, wait for your time, your turn to get in.

• 59:40Dax Shepard?

  It's all wasted on you, really.

• 59:42Speaker 08

  It is.

• 59:43Speaker 01

  It really is.

• 59:44Dax Shepard?

  Cause I don't do it, but I do, I do, I do know what it was like to be so on the outside. And when I drive by, I'm not even going to the places, but I just go like, oh, you could. You moved here and you were looking at it and you couldn't have it and you can't, you have it now.

• 59:58Speaker 08

  What that was, I remember it being a conversation that we often had as we were like waiting for the cab to take us back to Santa Monica. We would be like,

• 1:00:07Speaker 08

  In 10 years.

• 1:00:08Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:00:09Speaker 08

  If we stand here on Santa Monica Boulevard, you think we could get into any of these clubs? One day. That's the dream. Will one of us be able to get the others in? Can we leave Elena alone? Can we let Elena sleep? Can we take her off the clock? Yeah.

• 1:00:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a weird thing to get to a certain, to get to that place here.

• 1:00:29Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 1:00:31Dax Shepard?

  From episode 960 with Jennifer Aniston.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  We're talking about kids and this might be a no-no, but I, I'm, I'm curious.

• 1:00:42Speaker 09

  Hit it. You can ask me anything.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  Okay. I froze my eggs.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  Twice. It went very badly. I did a podcast about it. It was, you know, following the journey. It was a whole thing. And I'm 38 and I am single and I'm, you know, feeling like time to start making some big decisions. It's kind of feels like now or never-ish, ish, to even try with some of those eggs. And I'm starting to just feel like, I think it's, I think it's never.

• 1:01:17Speaker 09

  And why?

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  Because now, like.

• 1:01:22Speaker 09

  Can I ask you a bigger question?

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  Yes, please.

• 1:01:25Speaker 09

  Are you doing that, the freezing?

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:27Speaker 09

  Have you always wanted children?

• 1:01:29Speaker 01

  I've always not known.

• 1:01:32Speaker 09

  If you wanted them?

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  Yes. So it's not, it's not like we had Chelsea on that podcast, Chelsea Handler, who I know we both love. And she, you know, she's kind of always been like, no, I don't.

• 1:01:42Speaker 09

  Very cut and dry. Nope. Not my thing.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Not her thing. And I like, I, I respect it and I wish I had that because it's not that. It's very much like, oh, but I do, like, I, I'm very close with their kids and it's like, oh my God, to have one of these that's mine, you know, you get, you get kind of wrapped up in it. But also, my life is also very full. What you just said about all your friends and, and your life, I have the same thing. So it kind of feels like, I, maybe it's okay that I don't. And I, I, I wonder, you've said like, you know.

• 1:02:14Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  You're on the other side of that and I wonder if there's peace there.

• 1:02:17Speaker 09

  Oh, it's so peaceful.

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  You have, you're like, it's, I'm good.

• 1:02:21Speaker 09

  So peaceful, but I will say, well, there's a point where it's like, it's out of my control.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:02:27Speaker 09

  There's literally nothing I can do about it.

• 1:02:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:29Speaker 09

  And my, when people say, but you can adopt. I don't want to adopt.

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:34Speaker 09

  I would, I want my own DNA in a little person.

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:02:37Speaker 09

  And that's the only why selfish or not, whatever that is. I wanted it to come, but is there the moments of? Hmm.

• 1:02:50Speaker 09

  Well, this goes around into it's probably a topic I don't really want to talk, but discuss. But when you meet someone and you go, God, I would have, we would have made some good kids.

• 1:02:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:02:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:59Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:03:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:03:01Speaker 09

  So that might come up and then that'll pass within three seconds.

• 1:03:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:03:06Speaker 09

  And then you're like, but I tell them, but guess what?

• 1:03:08Dax Shepard?

  You'll plan a trip to Mexico?

• 1:03:09Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:03:10Dax Shepard?

  You'll be on that trip.

• 1:03:11Speaker 09

  Just take a look at that vacation for five minutes and you're like, oh, good night. Bye. See you later. What are we gonna watch?

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Yes. Okay.

• 1:03:18Speaker 09

  But you know, so it's, it's, it's because it's, it's like a, it's a romanticizing. But once you are on the other side of it, there is definitely a, um, yeah. Cause it's out of your, out of your control.

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:32Speaker 09

  Just wasn't in the plan, whatever the plan was.

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  Exactly. I do think some people though, like can't.

• 1:03:40Speaker 09

  Let it go.

• 1:03:40Speaker 01

  Let it go. And I, I worry, I guess that would be me, but may, but hope, but.

• 1:03:45Speaker 09

  Come over and I'll help you let it go.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  Okay. I'll take that invite.

• 1:03:49Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot.

• 1:03:52Speaker 09

  It is a lot. And by the way, it's very emotional, especially in the moment when you get, when they say, oh, it's, that's it.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:59Speaker 09

  It's that, cause there is a weird moment when that happens.

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:02Speaker 09

  It's getting too dark for this, I guess.

• 1:04:03Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 1:04:04Speaker 09

  But it's like, it's, there's a moment when you are, it's actually, oh yeah, this is not even viable.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:04:09Speaker 09

  So.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Time is up.

• 1:04:10Speaker 09

  Oh.

• 1:04:11Dax Shepard?

  That's probably a blessing and a curse. It probably hurts really bad.

• 1:04:14Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:04:15Dax Shepard?

  And probably you move into acceptance mode and it probably is liberating on the other side.

• 1:04:19Speaker 09

  Totally.

• 1:04:19Dax Shepard?

  I would guess.

• 1:04:20Speaker 09

  Yeah. I ran into Sandler and Spade in the room right outside and I knew Sandler from forever.

• 1:04:27Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh. You knew him pre friends?

• 1:04:29Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 1:04:30Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:04:30Speaker 09

  Cause he was very good friends with Charlie Schlatter, who played Ferris Bueller in the television version of Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

• 1:04:38Speaker 01

  Wow. You guys go so far back.

• 1:04:40Speaker 09

  We met at Jerry's Deli in like 1912.

• 1:04:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay. 12.

• 1:04:44Speaker 09

  And then.

• 1:04:45Dax Shepard?

  Just before the Spanish flu.

• 1:04:46Speaker 09

  Just before.

• 1:04:48Speaker 09

  So, yeah, so I don't know why I had this self righteous attitude of like, I don't know if women are treated the way they should be treated on this show. It's a very male dominated. And I mean, I would love to be here if it was like in the Gilda Radner Day. I mean, this is what I my semi, the brain that semi remembers things that are back that far.

• 1:05:09Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:05:10Speaker 09

  Something like that.

• 1:05:11Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I got, okay, that makes sense.

• 1:05:12Speaker 09

  And then, and then it was like, well, I don't remember what happened in there. And then I can't remember, but I just remember Friends then happened. And then that's where I went.

• 1:05:22Dax Shepard?

  You really fucked up. You chose wrong.

• 1:05:24Speaker 09

  You think so?

• 1:05:25Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God, yes.

• 1:05:26Speaker 09

  Well, shit. People say regrets.

• 1:05:31Dax Shepard?

  I could be interviewing you and I could be going, so you turned down Friends for SNL? And people would be like, oh.

• 1:05:38Speaker 09

  That would be the saddest story of all time.

• 1:05:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:41Speaker 09

  It all works out ultimately. I don't think there's ever, everything is sort of, and meant to be.

• 1:05:51Dax Shepard?

  From episode 846 with Adam Scott.

• 1:05:59Dax Shepard?

  So obviously, since then, you have done a ton of stuff, but Severance is like the most spectacular thing. And as you know, because Chris and I sent you voicemails. Yes. Almost after every episode. Yes. I'd like to play a couple of them. Please.

• 1:06:17Speaker 10

  Hey, so we're in bed and we just had a quick question.

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  Hi, we just had a quick question.

• 1:06:22Speaker 10

  Are you guys fucking drawing this new season? Is that what's taking so long?

• 1:06:27Speaker 01

  What in the goddamn hell is taking so long?

• 1:06:31Dax Shepard?

  These are the kind of messages you would receive after a period.

• 1:06:33Speaker 10

  You son of a bitch. You wanted the compliments, or here comes the fucking complaints. Belle and I just sat here on the edge of our seat, waiting to find out what happens when you guys come to.

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  You fucking prick.

• 1:06:48Speaker 10

  You piece of shit prick. And that goes for Ben, too.

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  Losers.

• 1:06:53Speaker 10

  Oh, buddy. Are we fucking pissed that this episode just ended when the switches were thrown? So you wanted the fucking cake? And now you gotta take the rat poison, too, you piece of shit.

• 1:07:08Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so that's kind of an

• 1:07:09Speaker 11

  Was that for the finale?

• 1:07:11Dax Shepard?

  It was, I think, one before

• 1:07:12Speaker 11

  Oh, the one right before, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:14Dax Shepard?

  And I just ended up being

• 1:07:16Speaker 10

  Oh, another thing, it's gonna be a long fucking week for us and for you.

• 1:07:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, because we're waiting.

• 1:07:22Speaker 10

  So either block my number or get used to this shit.

• 1:07:25Speaker 03

  Fuck you.

• 1:07:26Speaker 10

  You piece of shit.

• 1:07:29Dax Shepard?

  Okay, and then the last one.

• 1:07:30Speaker 10

  Big update, you'd probably find funny, my wife just ran through a play glass window off the second story of our home and was rushed to the hospital. You probably want to know if she's still alive. I will tell you next week.

• 1:07:45Speaker 11

  I have all those on my phone as well.

• 1:07:47Dax Shepard?

  Um, I want to play your response, just, uh, one of your responses, which is, is so good.

• 1:07:53Speaker 10

  You can't imagine how much pleasure it gives me to have the both of you over a barrel like this. I may as well tell you now that the entire season was created just to frustrate and destroy the both of you. Eat shit.

• 1:08:09Speaker 03

  They're so fucked.

• 1:08:12Speaker 11

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:08:12Dax Shepard?

  And Naomi popped in, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  Oh, that's cute.

• 1:08:15Speaker 11

  Yeah, there's a scene in the show, actually, where we were on the side of the road at the site of my wife's car accident.

• 1:08:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:22Speaker 11

  In like, the seventh episode. And just by sheer coincidence, because we shot the whole season at once, it was on the one year anniversary of my mom dying.

• 1:08:32Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:08:33Speaker 11

  Which was completely, and I didn't realize it till that day. And so there were things like that where I could pretty directly just

• 1:08:44Dax Shepard?

  Let out how you were feeling.

• 1:08:45Speaker 11

  Yeah, and process.

• 1:08:48Dax Shepard?

  When you shut the door to the apartment and you go, hmm.

• 1:08:51Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:08:51Dax Shepard?

  We got some dealing to do.

• 1:08:53Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:08:53Dax Shepard?

  Are you overcome with fear for that process? Or what's your reaction to knowing that? Like, oh, we're gonna go through some stuff now, and we're gonna be by ourselves.

• 1:09:05Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:09:06Dax Shepard?

  And we're gonna get into this.

• 1:09:08Speaker 11

  I think that I'm a person who tries to compartmentalize and push things to a later date.

• 1:09:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:17Speaker 11

  And so I think I busied myself with the getting ready for the show and the election was about to happen. And so I was preoccupied with that. And, and so I closed that door and was like, oh shit. And really felt the, the loss right there. Like, oh, there is a giant elephants in this room with me, but it'll be there. I'm here for eight months or whatever. I'll be fine. And eventually after a few weeks and just hours of alone time because no one was socializing really and restaurants, you know, it was so weird.

• 1:10:02Speaker 11

  That I, that I really did have to figure it out there. And I didn't talk to a therapist while I was there and I really should have. I did kind of, in a way, sort of come to terms with it and come to terms with the fact that grief is something that is a flat circle in one way or the other. It stays with you and sometimes it feels like it happened 10 minutes ago. And sometimes it feels like it happened 50 years ago.

• 1:10:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:31Speaker 11

  And sometimes it's surreal that that person is no longer in your life. It's just like unbelievable.

• 1:10:38Dax Shepard?

  It's really hard to imagine someone exists and they don't. As dumb and simple as that is to say, it is so weird that you can exist and then not exist.

• 1:10:47Speaker 11

  Yeah. And someone that is so instrumental in who you are. You know, I, one thing I did kind of realize is that as, you know, this thing that, that I'm doing for a living. One thing I realized is that

• 1:11:04Speaker 11

  when she was gone, I, I realized that

• 1:11:10Speaker 11

  part of the reason I was

• 1:11:15Speaker 11

  doing this in the first place

• 1:11:19Speaker 11

  was for her to see it.

• 1:11:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:22Speaker 11

  You know?

• 1:11:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, of course. Yeah.

• 1:11:23Speaker 11

  And so when that was gone, I was sort of like, well, who am I? Who am I going to impress?

• 1:11:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:33Speaker 11

  You know?

• 1:11:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:34Speaker 11

  So I had to

• 1:11:36Speaker 11

  straighten that out and, and, and sort of come to terms with the fact that. These feelings and this love that you have for a person and their love for you is, you know, doesn't go anywhere. It's, it's still, it's still here.

• 1:11:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. It's kind of what you're made of.

• 1:11:57Speaker 11

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:11:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Yeah. The structure of you is that.

• 1:12:00Speaker 11

  That's right. And a parent dying is sort of a big, it's like part of the sky going away or something. It's sort of a big thing.

• 1:12:09Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's the thing you're most tethered to.

• 1:12:11Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:12:12Dax Shepard?

  So when my dad died, I had these conflicting feelings of like, A, he had become a dependent of mine. And so we were in this relationship.

• 1:12:20Speaker 11

  Taking care of him.

• 1:12:21Dax Shepard?

  Supporting him.

• 1:12:22Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:12:22Dax Shepard?

  So unfortunately, a lot of our conversations over those last few years were like, I need this. Or it's, it's just not a great dynamic.

• 1:12:31Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:12:31Dax Shepard?

  And then, you know, I lived with my mom primarily my whole life.

• 1:12:34Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:12:35Dax Shepard?

  And he, when he was dying, it was a lot of work for me. So I had this conflicting, I felt a sense of relief when he died.

• 1:12:42Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:12:43Dax Shepard?

  And I was like, okay, this battle's over. We got him through it without too much carnage. That's, that's a win. And so I think I had like, I had a misleading sense of relief for a few months. And then opened up the door to like, oh, I'm never going to chat with him again, or I'm never gonna, he's not going to see anything I do, you know? But through all of that, I was like, also thank God it's not my mom.

• 1:13:07Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:13:08Dax Shepard?

  Cause my mom for me is the thing you're talking about. Like Dax wants to live in the woods and fuck and be annihilated drunk all day. And anything I've ever done positive was because my mom believed in enough.

• 1:13:20Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:13:21Dax Shepard?

  That I was a good boy.

• 1:13:22Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:13:22Dax Shepard?

  And I needed to make her happy.

• 1:13:24Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:13:24Dax Shepard?

  And so I've often thought like, if she's not around for me to even think, what would she think? That feels like a very scary place for me to be in.

• 1:13:32Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:13:33Dax Shepard?

  I really rely on her to almost be my super ego.

• 1:13:36Speaker 11

  Yeah. Just like in the back of your head, your mom is this very unique station that.

• 1:13:43Dax Shepard?

  It's so fucking thankless. Like, do you watch Naomi and I watch Chris and I go, my God.

• 1:13:48Speaker 11

  Jesus Christ. And meanwhile, I'm walking around like, you know. And they're like, dad. Yeah.

• 1:13:56Speaker 01

  I know, you know that Nick Kroll special where he's just like,

• 1:13:59Speaker 11

  Yes, yes.

• 1:13:59Speaker 01

  Moms are annoying.

• 1:14:01Speaker 11

  Yes.

• 1:14:01Speaker 01

  And it's like, they are. Why? It's so unfair.

• 1:14:05Speaker 11

  Because they know you so well.

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:14:09Speaker 11

  In a way that no one else does. Not your dad, no one. They just know.

• 1:14:15Speaker 01

  They were in your body.

• 1:14:16Dax Shepard?

  Well, they're who you are able to be scared in front of, vulnerable.

• 1:14:20Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:14:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:21Speaker 11

  I mean, even as an adult, you know, something would happen.

• 1:14:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:26Speaker 11

  I would call her and no matter how embarrassing, you know that that call is there.

• 1:14:33Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:14:34Speaker 11

  You know?

• 1:14:34Dax Shepard?

  To your point, guaranteed, I'm feeling better when I

• 1:14:39Speaker 11

  Yeah.

• 1:14:39Dax Shepard?

  get off the phone with my mom.

• 1:14:41Speaker 11

  Hundred percent.

• 1:14:42Dax Shepard?

  She'd somehow find the silver lining in this horrific.

• 1:14:45Speaker 11

  And give you the kernel of advice, whatever it is.

• 1:14:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:53Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've thought about trying therapy with our long-term partner, BetterHelp, insurance options may now be available nationwide with an average copay for eligible members of just $23 per session. October 10th is World Mental Health Day, but you don't need a day on the calendar to give yourself permission to talk to someone. I've been in therapy for a long time and the stuff rattling around in my head always just quiets down the second I say it out loud. And it doesn't have to be some big life crisis. Maybe it's a work thing that's taking up too much space or hard relationship moment, or just a feeling that something's off. That's enough. That's worth talking about.

• 1:15:37Speaker 01

  You know, I love therapy more than anything. Gets me through. Often I'll want to cancel because I'm like, I don't really have anything to talk about. And then I'll go and I have some major revelation.

• 1:15:48Dax Shepard?

  You know, I was just talking to a friend who has just started it. And I said, one of the most powerful elements of it is just hearing yourself say out loud, the thing that's been ruminating in your head and how different it sounds. Once it's out into the world, you gain perspective immediately just by hearing yourself say it.

• 1:16:03Speaker 12

  Yeah, you do.

• 1:16:04Dax Shepard?

  If you've been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Don't have insurance or live outside the US? You can still get 10% off your first month. Do yourself a favor and just try it. Future you will be grateful. Visit betterhelp.com/dax to explore your payment options. That's better H E L P dot com slash DAX.

• 1:16:35Dax Shepard?

  From episode 864 with Mindy Kaling.

• 1:16:43Speaker 12

  So interesting. I worked in the office for eight years, loved the experience, largely male cast. What I want to write about is about women who are ambitious and lust after people that they're not interested in.

• 1:16:54Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:16:54Speaker 12

  Because then every subsequent show, The Sex Life with College Girls, this new Kate Hudson show, it's all just about women who are trying to make the most of what they have and have sex and be successful. The correlation from how I was in high school and what I didn't have is just expressed in those shows that I was able to do after The Office. But it's really interesting to me. My shows have a lot of horny women. My friend BJ Novak makes this joke that every trailer for any Mindy Kaling show has a hot man's torso in slow motion. And I was like, how dare you? That's incredibly reductive. That's not true. And then it is true.

• 1:17:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:28Speaker 12

  Every trailer.

• 1:17:29Dax Shepard?

  It's great. It's your turn.

• 1:17:31Speaker 12

  It's like Pauline Chalamet, Kate Hudson, Mitra Ramakrishnan, their head is turning. And it's just like those eighties movies that they can't make anymore. The National Lampoon movies where it's like a guy is following a bouncing girl on the volleyball team.

• 1:17:43Dax Shepard?

  And running point, she enters the coach's domain and he happens to be shirtless doing pull ups. I do a lot of pull ups, almost never shirtless.

• 1:17:52Speaker 12

  I mean, that's a good point.

• 1:17:53Dax Shepard?

  You can give it a try. It's a solid point. Might be better.

• 1:17:56Speaker 12

  It was Jay Ellis. So Jay Ellis. On your show and he's like, could I wear my sweatshirt for my pull ups? You'd be like, whatever makes you comfortable, Jay. But if it's all the same to you for the story.

• 1:18:07Dax Shepard?

  It's like having Jordan there and there's two sports on the table. You could either film him playing ice hockey or play basketball. We should have him probably play basketball.

• 1:18:15Speaker 12

  We should have him play basketball.

• 1:18:17Dax Shepard?

  We should get that top off and see how many pull ups we can do.

• 1:18:19Speaker 12

  For the record, Jaelis, he is a very funny part in this. He's more than just a hot guy, but for the trailer.

• 1:18:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, you gotta, you gotta hook him.

• 1:18:26Speaker 12

  I'm still thinking about when Dax called me hot at the beginning.

• 1:18:29Dax Shepard?

  You're very hot. I follow you on Instagram and I often look at pictures of you and I go, she's so hot.

• 1:18:33Speaker 12

  That's like really nice.

• 1:18:34Dax Shepard?

  I've told Monica that I'm not doing this for your sake.

• 1:18:36Speaker 01

  New information for me.

• 1:18:38Speaker 12

  The outcome you hope for when you post those photos.

• 1:18:40Dax Shepard?

  Of course.

• 1:18:41Speaker 12

  And you think, oh, the best, some anonymous pervert in the middle of the country thinks that. But to think a celebrity is thinking you're hot, that's pretty good.

• 1:18:49Speaker 01

  I would guess many, in fact, most people think that about you.

• 1:18:53Speaker 12

  That's new and that feels nice. Thank you.

• 1:18:55Dax Shepard?

  Okay. So you liked boys, but did you not have a boyfriend through high school?

• 1:18:59Speaker 12

  No, not even through college.

• 1:19:01Dax Shepard?

  Now, this is really personal, but we just talked about mine and I gotta bring you into it, Monica.

• 1:19:04Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:19:05Dax Shepard?

  It becomes a point when I met Monica, she was 27, eight.

• 1:19:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:11Dax Shepard?

  And as she was approaching 30, I just started getting the sense maybe Monica hadn't.

• 1:19:15Speaker 01

  I probably told you.

• 1:19:16Dax Shepard?

  Well, I asked you ultimately, I said to Kristen, I don't think Monica's been with a dude. And she's like, yeah, I think she has. And I'm like, I don't think so. And then I needed resolution to that kind of argument.

• 1:19:26Speaker 12

  Professionally, you needed to.

• 1:19:27Dax Shepard?

  Well, luckily she didn't work for me.

• 1:19:28Speaker 01

  That's true. At the time.

• 1:19:30Dax Shepard?

  We were just friends. We argued about podcasts all the time. She hadn't. And then my first thought was, is it a religious thing?

• 1:19:38Speaker 01

  Right. Waiting for marriage.

• 1:19:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I was like, do you want to be married? Is it a religious thing?

• 1:19:44Speaker 01

  You kind of want to say yes. There was a part of me that wanted to say, yeah, there's a real reason that I haven't. And there's a reason nobody wants to have sex with me. It's because I'm waiting for marriage. But no, I was just like, no, it's just hasn't happened.

• 1:19:58Dax Shepard?

  But then it becomes a thing, as Monica explained to me, where it's like now you've passed some point where you're like, oh my God, people are going to think this is weird about me. Were you starting to have any of those fears?

• 1:20:08Speaker 12

  Yeah, we're describing the premise of The Forty Year Old Virgin. My first movie, which is good to hear that besides being just a funny comedy or like a speaking to a truth. I, in my mind, I said, this has to happen before I'm 24. And I don't know whether I heard this afterwards or not, but I remember one of the great gifts that Tina Fey, I think, has given to us, besides just being really funny. And I love 30 Rock and just being such an amazing joke writer is I think at some point, and she's not someone who is super open, but she said in a book or something that she lost her virginity at age 24. And I remember thinking, that's like a very nice thing to do.

• 1:20:43Dax Shepard?

  It's a gift.

• 1:20:44Speaker 12

  To give some guideposts to nerdy women. She's beautiful, smart, happy marriage, beautiful daughters. And I thought that was great because we can't all be Dax.

• 1:20:55Speaker 01

  We can't all be 12 and fucking.

• 1:20:57Dax Shepard?

  Well, hold on, guys. Don't make me the enemy.

• 1:20:59Speaker 12

  No, no, no.

• 1:21:00Dax Shepard?

  I was in a hick town and I was super large and we were bored.

• 1:21:03Speaker 12

  No, no, no. And I feel like I keep making you feel self-conscious about it. But so I remember thinking that then it happened before then.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  Good for you. You're way ahead of me.

• 1:21:10Dax Shepard?

  Did you, Monty had this too. There is an ambition. So if you do decide you're gonna do something, anything in the world, you will figure out how to do it.

• 1:21:17Speaker 12

  That's true.

• 1:21:18Dax Shepard?

  And I think you pretty much were like, I'm doing this.

• 1:21:21Speaker 01

  It was like a ticking clock. At one point I was like, it really is time. I wasn't like, I don't care who.

• 1:21:27Speaker 12

  Doesn't have to be the love of your life. That was similar to how I felt.

• 1:21:29Speaker 01

  I didn't need that, but I didn't want to have a random hookup. And then I was never in a relationship. So I was like, how am I gonna do it?

• 1:21:38Speaker 12

  So one thing I think that's tricky about Indian culture is this idea that in my house, dating or any of that was pretty much forbidden. In high school, no one is dating. By the way, not that anyone was coming after me or anything, but I also knew that it was not an option. And then you're expected to sort of like go to college and then meet someone and know how to date and then fall in love and get married, but with what skills?

• 1:21:59Dax Shepard?

  And everyone's already had five girlfriends that you're gonna meet.

• 1:22:02Speaker 12

  I've not yet kissed somebody.

• 1:22:03Speaker 01

  Right, exactly.

• 1:22:04Speaker 12

  Or even know how to be normal in romantic intimate situations. Forget even about sexual situations. Situations when someone wants to go to the movies with you and you're like, I only know how to do this with my female friend. Yeah. Like, I know how to go to the movie with my cousin.

• 1:22:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, what do we eat when I'm with you?

• 1:22:21Speaker 12

  Right.

• 1:22:21Dax Shepard?

  Am I getting the popcorn and the Milk Duds?

• 1:22:23Speaker 12

  You've seen this probably, people go into, I think I just need to have sex right now. Right. And so I didn't go through that, but I, now that I have three children, definitely want to de-stigmatize this. You know, I do feel pretty Indian and Hindu in a lot of ways, and I really want to instill that in my kids culturally. But I do think what I want for them is to be like, yeah, you can go on a date or you can like somebody and talk to me about it. Because I didn't love going into college being like, does a kiss with someone then mean we have to then take this all the way to its completion? Yeah. I didn't love that. It's also a source of a lot of my comedic storytelling. Never have I ever is literally about a nerd who asks the hottest guy at school, would you have sex with me? Growing up in the eighties and the nineties, and I think Dax were about the same age.

• 1:23:08Dax Shepard?

  Four years older than you, but thank you.

• 1:23:10Speaker 12

  You are?

• 1:23:10Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes, yes, 75. Sorry, you go ahead and say sorry.

• 1:23:14Speaker 12

  Sorry.

• 1:23:14Dax Shepard?

  Sorry.

• 1:23:15Speaker 12

  Sorry for your... So sorry.

• 1:23:17Dax Shepard?

  I'll be late.

• 1:23:18Speaker 12

  Are you 50?

• 1:23:19Dax Shepard?

  I just turned 50.

• 1:23:20Speaker 12

  Congratulations.

• 1:23:21Dax Shepard?

  Thank you.

• 1:23:21Speaker 12

  That's a good one.

• 1:23:22Dax Shepard?

  I made it.

• 1:23:22Speaker 12

  So in the eighties and the nineties, it felt like there was so many coming of age for this like very specific kind of guy, a geeky guy, can't buy me love. And then later, Judd did it with Superbad. And this is why I've always feel like it's crazy when people can't watch things with subtitles, because I'm like, my entire life was being able to relate to characters who look nothing like me. I can do it easily. I'm very invested in Ross and Rachel, and we were on a break, and like, I can relate to them. Yes. And so it's crazy when people are like, I can't watch Parasite.

• 1:23:51Dax Shepard?

  What if they're dyslexic? First of all, I loved Parasite, but what if reading takes so much of your concentration, you're totally missing all the visuals?

• 1:23:59Speaker 12

  That's a separate situation.

• 1:24:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:24:01Speaker 12

  And sometimes I find subtitles annoying too, when I just want to relax. So I felt like that felt really untapped and fun, this thing that I could relate to and wanting to do shows and TV about that kind of stuff.

• 1:24:15Dax Shepard?

  From episode 954 with Charlie Sheen.

• 1:24:22Speaker 13

  Will you tell her about the time that you're visibly falling asleep on camera? Yeah, no, that was, um, I don't know where that came from. I don't know, I think I do, I think it came probably from, you know, some sexual behavior that I'd heard about, right? But I'd never done it. Okay. She's like, what the hell? No, I wanna know. What are we on the doorstep of? You gotta tell us. I was filming a movie in Canada called Free Money, and I've been going way too hard. And it was like midday, and I had this scene in a cafe or a diner, right? And I was trying to get through it, and I kept, the dialogue just, you know, some days it's just, it's in a different language, right?

• 1:25:06Speaker 13

  But it wasn't, it wasn't so much about the dialogue, it was about the level of fatigue. And I thought I was keeping it together, you know, and the director, between takes, he walks up and he says, hey man, um, I, I, I see you falling asleep on camera. Oh my god. Monica in the take. Yeah, and I've never done heroin, right? And that's like a heroin thing, right? Sure, nodding off. Boom, whoa, or even Suboxone, right? Um, which is like, you know, contemporary methadone. Yes, yes. I'm telling her, and she's your co-host. No, you didn't know about Suboxone? I do, I've seen all these drug documentaries, I know about them, yeah. Okay, so, um, and over prescribed everywhere on planet earth, and needs to, right? Needs a closer look at that shit, right?

• 1:25:49Speaker 13

  And so I said, okay, oh shit, all right, uh, my bad, um, I need a, I need a cup of ice, bring me a cup of ice. He's like, okay, what do you, what do you, what do you want to drink? I'm like, just the ice. And he's like, okay, I said, give me a minute, so I go into the bathroom. I'm like, okay, I heard about this somewhere else, but for, you know, sexual reasons, I'm gonna, I'm gonna stick an ice cube up my butt. No! Yeah, and I'm pretty sure, and it was a good sized one, um, I didn't want it to melt. What if you've got one of those like big round ones they make for whiskey? Like a whiskey? If I see it in the cup, I'm like, no, no, no. I need a ragamole sized piece of ice. Oh my god. And I keistered it, like I was sneaking drugs into prison, right?

• 1:26:34Speaker 13

  And, and, and freaking, um, and was suddenly wide awake, cause it was so uncomfortable, it was so fucking, it was so cold. Not to mention the clenching you were probably doing to keep it in. Yeah, also the leaking.

• 1:26:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you're just leaking. You're not peeing.

• 1:26:47Speaker 13

  Right, but I think I was in a, um, I was in like a conductor's jumpsuit. You know, that the overall thing.

• 1:26:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, thank God.

• 1:26:53Speaker 13

  Tells you the quality of the movie, right? And I came back to set and I'm like, let's do this. You're so. Let's do this, man.

• 1:27:02Dax Shepard?

  Monica, there's footage of these takes in the movie, which is incredible.

• 1:27:06Speaker 13

  Yeah, and then I've got sort of the melty clock going, right? Like, how many takes is he going to need, right? And, and we, we got through it. And I think after that, I wasn't like, oh, I better go get the ice cube out. Because we've all, you know, thought about like the perfect crime. You know, you shoot somebody with an ice cube. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bullet. That's right. And then there's no, no ballistics, right? So I'm like, okay, it's just gonna vanish. There, there will be no ballistics in this crime scene, right? And so, and so we made the day. But when I, when I, when I, when I saw that scene in the doc, I'm like, why didn't they just send me home? Right. You know? Exactly. That's, that guy's not well. Yeah. That guy's not well.

• 1:27:48Speaker 13

  You know, dad and I go down to take part in a TV show that's pits.

• 1:27:52Dax Shepard?

  Oh, this is gonna blow your fucking mind.

• 1:27:53Speaker 13

  Actors against athletes and the card we drew was Michael Jordan. So we're, it's a two on one. It's a two on one versus Jordan. It's a three part competition itself. It's free throws, a game of horse, and then a two on one. No.

• 1:28:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh, no, wait till your hell plays out, Monica.

• 1:28:09Speaker 13

  I mean, do you want to know or you just want to watch it? No, I want to know. I want to know. I want to know this.

• 1:28:12Dax Shepard?

  She loves Jordan.

• 1:28:13Speaker 13

  We, we beat him.

• 1:28:15Dax Shepard?

  Not only did, no, no, no, no, no, not, not only did he, he.

• 1:28:17Speaker 13

  How is this possible?

• 1:28:19Dax Shepard?

  Not only did he beat him, this is where he has these, these absolute, like, mythical strokes of magic.

• 1:28:25Speaker 13

  Yeah.

• 1:28:26Dax Shepard?

  He hit eight, Charlie hit eight free throws in a row.

• 1:28:31Speaker 13

  Did you, did you play basketball? No, I played baseball, but I shot with dad in the backyard like my whole life growing up.

• 1:28:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Hit an 18 foot jumper in the two on two.

• 1:28:41Speaker 13

  To, to seal it.

• 1:28:42Dax Shepard?

  To win the game.

• 1:28:43Speaker 13

  Yeah. This is.

• 1:28:44Dax Shepard?

  But it's nuts.

• 1:28:45Speaker 13

  A normal life.

• 1:28:46Dax Shepard?

  He gets out of treatment. He is dead. He's dead. One of his times getting out of treatment, dad picks him up. He wants to just watch baseball. He loves baseball. They stop by this place and there's grown men playing a game of baseball in a league. And because they're them, they all of a sudden, they let Charlie take an at bat.

• 1:29:02Speaker 13

  Yeah.

• 1:29:03Dax Shepard?

  First swing, out of treatment, life's over. Home run.

• 1:29:09Speaker 13

  Of course you're confused. Exactly. Got a fastball and just...

• 1:29:12Dax Shepard?

  You've got like superpowers and then you're superhuman all the time. I mean, you're extra human and you have superpowers.

• 1:29:17Speaker 13

  This is too much to like be holding all at once. But on the drive back from the Jordan thing, um, I've got the scene with me. Because I know that like on Tuesday or maybe even Monday, I have to report back and do this thing. Yes. And so I read it with dad in the limo, just having done the Jordan thing, working on Bueller, right? And he, he, we read it once. I didn't do anything with it and he stopped me and said, "That's, that's it. You've nailed it." And I was confused. I was like, I, I didn't, I didn't, I did nothing. Yeah. And he said, "It took me 30 years to learn how not to do that." Yeah, it was a trip. Wow. So that's kind of what I walked in with and, and I was really hoping that Hughes was

• 1:30:00Speaker 13

  going to be okay with this giant, you know, very specific piece of advice. Yeah. You know, and, and he was.

• 1:30:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:08Speaker 13

  And he was. But of course, on the day I overslept and I was two hours late and it was like... Really? Oh, wow. Yeah, it was awful.

• 1:30:14Dax Shepard?

  He gets a job, I mean, he gets a job. This is, this is, this is again, this is an easy theory to make and I want you to tell me if you think there's anything realistic to this, which is, these things come incredibly easy to you and something about the subconscious goes, "This isn't right." And, and we're gonna fix it. And the way we fix it is we're gonna destroy it.

• 1:30:33Speaker 13

  Right. Sure. Some self sabotage. Sure. But this was, I think before...

• 1:30:39Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:30:40Speaker 13

  Yeah.

• 1:30:40Dax Shepard?

  But there's an inkling of it. It's like, how were you on time to get the job? You get the job too easy. You go win a game with Jordan. Somehow you can't fucking wake up on time?

• 1:30:48Speaker 13

  That's a good point.

• 1:30:48Dax Shepard?

  Why can't you wake up on time?

• 1:30:50Speaker 13

  You make a good point.

• 1:30:51Dax Shepard?

  You weren't late for the thing?

• 1:30:51Speaker 13

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:30:52Dax Shepard?

  You weren't late for that?

• 1:30:53Speaker 13

  Yeah.

• 1:30:54Dax Shepard?

  You know you got that too easy? And now we're like, you have a reason, but it's suspicious.

• 1:30:59Speaker 13

  Yeah, it is suspicious, even sitting here today.

• 1:31:02Dax Shepard?

  It doesn't make sense.

• 1:31:03Speaker 13

  Yeah.

• 1:31:04Dax Shepard?

  Uh, and a lot of your stuff doesn't make sense.

• 1:31:07Speaker 13

  You can't, you can't draw it up.

• 1:31:09Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:31:09Speaker 13

  You can't plan it, you know?