Cristina Mariani Joins The Show!

Comedy riser Cristina Mariani (Kill Tony, Comedy Mothership) joins Santino for a rapid-fire hang on writing fearless jokes, eating a bomb with style, and turning internet heat into real tickets. We talk the HOTISTIC TOUR, crowd-work instincts, how to build an hour fast, and why brutal honesty beats “likable” every time. If you love sharp, unfiltered stand-up, this one’s a blast. Clip it, share it, and tell us your favorite Cristina bit. 🍊 FOLLOW CRISTINA • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/criimarii/ • Website: https://cristinamariani.com FOLLOW SANTINO & THE SHOW • SANTINO IG: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ • WHISKEY GINGER IG: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast #WhiskeyGinger #CristinaMariani #AndrewSantino #KillTony #ComedyMothership #TheComedyStore #StandUpComedy #ComedyPodcast ======================================================== Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS HUEL USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY SAVE 15% OFF YOUR ORDER https://huel.com/whiskey ZOCDOC BOOK LOCAL DOCTORS https://zocdoc.com/whiskey SQUARESPACE GET 10% OFF YOUR ORDER https://squarespace.com/whiskey ====================================================== Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria https://www.instagram.com/itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Need fast hydration for the summer heat? Hydrate your winds with the new Liquid IV Sugar-Free Ring Pop Cherry. It's the classic cherry ring pop flavor you grew up loving. Reimagined as a zero-sugar hydration mix that's clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're spending the day in the heat, recovering after a workout, or just looking for an easy afternoon pick-me-up, Liquid IV makes hydration simple and delicious. Shop LiquidIV.com. Save with their Buy 3 Get 1 Free offer and use promo code POD26. That's P-O-D-2-6.

• 0:36Speaker 00

  We all want to stay healthy for as long as humanly possible. It seems like a lofty goal, but it can be effortless to get started with Aura. Aura helps you tune into your holistic health with a small ring that measures more than 50 metrics, all from your finger. It looks like any other ring, goes great with any look, and is so comfortable, I never want to take it off. Aura tracks your sleep and activity automatically. It monitors your stress, heart health, and gives you in-depth insights into your cycle. Then Aura brings your personal health data into the app to show you how it's all connected, what to pay attention to, and what you can do next. The more you understand your body, the better you can live in it. Wear your best life with Aura.

• 1:20Andrew Santino?

  What up, whiskey ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. Hey, I am on the road and I want to see you, so come see me. I'm doing a bunch of new dates. I've just released, I'm going to San Francisco, playing the punchline up there. Then I'm going to the Brea Improv, Brea, show up, Southern California. The Tempe Improv, my old home, my stomping ground. Horseshoe Casino in Hammond, Indiana. Then in the new year, I'm out in Windsor, Ontario, Canada, Bethlehem, PA, Hanover, Maryland, Borgdahl in Atlantic City, Harris in Valley Center, which is down by San Diego. And finally, we just added the Wynn Casino in Las Vegas in March. Come see me, viva Las Vegas. The pre-sale code of it's still up there is Santino. AndrewSantino.com for those tickets, AndrewSantino.com.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 2:05Speaker 03

  You're that creature in the ginger beard!

• 2:07Speaker 04

  Sturdy and ginger.

• 2:08Speaker 03

  Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

• 2:11Speaker 04

  Ginger's a beauty. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, $75 for the horse. Ginger's a-

• 2:17Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests by the way, once again today, it's Christina Mariani. Ciao.

• 2:31Speaker 05

  Ciao.

• 2:31Andrew Santino?

  Ciao.

• 2:32Speaker 05

  Ciao.

• 2:33Andrew Santino?

  Good to meet you. We've never met before.

• 2:34Speaker 05

  Mm-mm.

• 2:35Andrew Santino?

  Um, I've seen you on the interweb.

• 2:37Speaker 05

  Oh, nice.

• 2:38Andrew Santino?

  I've seen you on internet. Um, you kind of got, uh, a lot of movement on the internets that I saw from my old man viewing perspective of the internet through Kill Tony, yeah?

• 2:50Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:50Andrew Santino?

  Kill Tony was kind of the beginning.

• 2:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:53Andrew Santino?

  Am I, are you nervous?

• 2:54Speaker 05

  No, I, I'm never nervous.

• 2:56Andrew Santino?

  You're, okay.

• 2:57Speaker 05

  Just kidding.

• 2:57Andrew Santino?

  Okay, alright.

• 2:59Speaker 05

  I'm a little bit nervous.

• 3:00Andrew Santino?

  You shouldn't be. Why would you be? You're fine.

• 3:02Speaker 05

  Well, um, cause I'm in deep shit, you said.

• 3:05Andrew Santino?

  You did. You showed up, you showed up eighteen minutes late.

• 3:09Speaker 05

  No.

• 3:10Andrew Santino?

  And then I got a text message from someone who helps book the show and she said, she's running late, she's in traffic. And I thought, uh, maybe she doesn't know Los Angeles or Southern California traffic. You're from Stockton, so you know California.

• 3:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:23Andrew Santino?

  No excuse.

• 3:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know.

• 3:25Andrew Santino?

  Literally no excuse. You're in, I said, you're in deep shit, pal.

• 3:27Speaker 05

  I'm staying in, at the Intercontinental. I just said that wrong. Intercontinental.

• 3:32Andrew Santino?

  That's, yeah, I think, we got it.

• 3:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, I just said it right. Fuck.

• 3:36Andrew Santino?

  The Intercontinental Hotel?

• 3:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, and, um, you have to go all the way to the top just to go back to the bottom. So that's why I was late.

• 3:42Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean, you gotta go to the top to go to the bottom?

• 3:44Speaker 05

  The lobbies at the...

• 3:45Andrew Santino?

  That's the story of the business, by the way. That's the biz, kid. Get used to it. It's gonna happen. You gotta go up to go down, baby.

• 3:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:52Andrew Santino?

  The lobby is upstairs?

• 3:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's at the...

• 3:54Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I know this, right? Where they do the, yeah, I've seen this in hotels.

• 3:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, but, so you have to go to the lobby and then to go all the way back down. And then to go to your room, you have to go up to go to the, and it sounds like a cool idea until you have to do it a few times and then...

• 4:08Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 4:08Speaker 05

  You know, you miss your lift, cause there's like a line to it.

• 4:12Andrew Santino?

  You miss your lift?

• 4:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, so then...

• 4:14Andrew Santino?

  Did your sister travel with you all the time?

• 4:16Speaker 05

  No, she lives in Stockton still, so she just came with me to...

• 4:20Andrew Santino?

  That's, that's sweet.

• 4:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's nice. She's great.

• 4:22Andrew Santino?

  What is she doing in Stockton?

• 4:23Speaker 05

  She, um, works in insurance. That's what I used to do, too.

• 4:26Andrew Santino?

  You did insurance?

• 4:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:28Andrew Santino?

  Sales?

• 4:28Speaker 05

  No, I was, uh, an underwriter.

• 4:31Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god, what a nightmare.

• 4:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, it wasn't, but it was weed insurance.

• 4:35Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's pretty cool.

• 4:36Speaker 05

  I mean, no, it's still insurance.

• 4:38Andrew Santino?

  No, it's still insurance. It doesn't, it doesn't really matter.

• 4:40Speaker 05

  It doesn't matter. I'd like to add the weed thing, so it seems edgy, but... I I just priced it. I didn't even get to.

• 4:47Andrew Santino?

  You didn't even get to like haggle and negotiate and make it fun for people that you liked?

• 4:51Speaker 05

  I didn't even get to smoke or anything like that.

• 4:53Andrew Santino?

  Do you smoke weed?

• 4:53Speaker 05

  I do.

• 4:54Andrew Santino?

  Do you drink alcohol?

• 4:55Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 4:55Andrew Santino?

  Do you do drugs?

• 4:56Speaker 05

  I mean, sometimes.

• 4:57Andrew Santino?

  What drugs do you do?

• 4:58Speaker 05

  I don't know. It depends on the occasion, you know? Like, where am I?

• 5:02Andrew Santino?

  Alright, like a funeral?

• 5:03Speaker 05

  Oh, Molly.

• 5:04Andrew Santino?

  Nice, nice.

• 5:06Speaker 05

  You know?

• 5:06Andrew Santino?

  A bir- a child's birthday party, like your friend's kid's birthday.

• 5:09Speaker 05

  Molly.

• 5:10Andrew Santino?

  Molly again? Yeah, it seems like Molly is the drug you like to do.

• 5:13Speaker 05

  I actually get, um, anxiety attacks on Molly a lot of the time.

• 5:16Andrew Santino?

  You seem like you're gonna anxiety text in general, yeah. Do you?

• 5:20Speaker 05

  Sometimes.

• 5:21Andrew Santino?

  I got, I used to get them. It's all good.

• 5:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:23Andrew Santino?

  I used to have them a lot.

• 5:24Speaker 05

  Really?

• 5:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I got, I had them a lot in my twenties, like a ton in my twenties, and then I kind of phased out of it. Once I realized that, um, you don't have to be worried about everything, cause, um, everything is terrible. So then if you kind of, if that's the perspective, you're like, oh, that's fine, it's all shit. It's not gonna get better or worse, it's just gonna keep being bad.

• 5:42Speaker 05

  Okay, that's nice.

• 5:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, just take a breath and know that it's fucking shit anyway, it's over.

• 5:47Speaker 05

  No, I, uh.

• 5:48Andrew Santino?

  The rock is gonna hit us soon and we're all gonna die and nobody gives a shit.

• 5:50Speaker 05

  No, I don't think that's gonna happen. I think it's gonna be like a nuclear war or something.

• 5:56Andrew Santino?

  Oh, nuke shit would be cool. I don't think, see, somebody said yesterday, Dermer said this, who was actually clever. Was that you and I were talking about those Waymo cars? That's what the terrorists are gonna take over. They're gonna, when we start to automate everything, they're just gonna hack into that shit and then those things will, Waymos will just be killing people at random.

• 6:14Speaker 05

  But then how are the Waymos gonna get seventy-two virgins?

• 6:19Speaker 05

  No, I shouldn't have said that.

• 6:20Andrew Santino?

  How do you know the Waymos are Muslim?

• 6:21Speaker 05

  Well, because you said the terrorists are gonna.

• 6:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but they're controlling, the cars themselves don't, aren't gonna get virgins.

• 6:26Speaker 05

  No, uh, like virgin Waymos?

• 6:28Andrew Santino?

  Virgin Waymo.

• 6:29Speaker 05

  They've never had a passenger inside of them.

• 6:31Andrew Santino?

  No one's ever been in there. Seventy-two virgin Waymos.

• 6:36Andrew Santino?

  No, I think they, I think the world is, is fine. We'll figure it out. It doesn't matter. You're twenty eight, you're four years into comedy. The world is yours.

• 6:44Speaker 05

  I, uh.

• 6:45Andrew Santino?

  And you live in Austin?

• 6:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:47Andrew Santino?

  Uh, four years in, you moved to Austin how long ago?

• 6:49Speaker 05

  Um, I moved to Austin in, uh, four years ago. That's where I started comedy.

• 6:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you moved and started?

• 6:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:56Andrew Santino?

  So that was your goal? Were you like, I gotta get out of Stockton. I'm moving to Texas to start?

• 7:00Speaker 05

  Yeah. Uh, well, actually I didn't know I was gonna start comedy. I, um, I moved to Austin because I was in insurance and it went remote, you know?

• 7:09Andrew Santino?

  You, but you go down, did you go down because of the Rogan move and all that shit and the?

• 7:13Speaker 05

  No, I just, uh, I got bored like working remote and, and so then I was like, I'm gonna travel and Texas doesn't have COVID like restrictions as bad. And so then I went to Texas and then I wanted to do stuff to challenge myself and comedy was one of those things that made me nervous. Um, public speaking. So then I did it and then I really liked it and then I've just been doing it.

• 7:35Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 7:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 7:35Andrew Santino?

  So it was never like a dream? This was like something you were like, maybe I'll try it?

• 7:38Speaker 05

  I kinda had it in the back of my head like, but I didn't think it was something I could realistically do. Um, I grew up in a really like practical family and like my dad wanted me-

• 7:47Andrew Santino?

  Everyone's in insurance?

• 7:48Speaker 05

  No, um, no, but my dad wanted me to be a lawyer and, um, the insurance was kinda like I was gonna study to go to law school and that was just a job in the meantime, kind of like, um, but I just would have been really bored and I'm not organized at all.

• 8:03Andrew Santino?

  You're very disorganized. So you're perfect for comedy.

• 8:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 8:06Andrew Santino?

  That's like, that's like comedy heaven.

• 8:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm just like really scatterbrained.

• 8:10Andrew Santino?

  Are-

• 8:11Speaker 05

  What?

• 8:14Andrew Santino?

  I don't know, scatterbrained's like something that your parents say when you're a kid, when you're just not paying attention, but you feel like you're a well put together adult. I think maybe you're more than you're giving yourself credit for.

• 8:23Speaker 05

  You think I'm a well put together adult?

• 8:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you seem like you're a well put together adult.

• 8:26Speaker 05

  Oh, thanks.

• 8:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 8:28Speaker 05

  You seem like a well put together adult too.

• 8:31Andrew Santino?

  I'm an old guy, so at this point I have to be, I'm an old white. And when you become an old white in your forties, you gotta really get it together.

• 8:37Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 8:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, kinda. You don't think so?

• 8:41Speaker 05

  I don't know, you're...

• 8:43Andrew Santino?

  How many old whites do you know?

• 8:44Speaker 05

  I had, I mean, my dad and his friends and...

• 8:47Andrew Santino?

  These are old whites.

• 8:48Speaker 05

  And now you.

• 8:48Andrew Santino?

  And now me. How old is your dad?

• 8:50Speaker 05

  Um, he was born in fifty-nine.

• 8:53Andrew Santino?

  Oh, okay. Yeah, he's a, he's a mature old white.

• 8:55Speaker 05

  Yeah. My mom is born in sixty-eight, so they have a little bit of a age difference.

• 9:01Andrew Santino?

  Age gap.

• 9:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't know why I said that. I just overshared that. I just thought of that.

• 9:05Andrew Santino?

  Put it out there. Are they still in Stockton?

• 9:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, they're in Stockton.

• 9:07Andrew Santino?

  Hey, Margot, hey, Dave.

• 9:09Speaker 05

  No, that's not their names.

• 9:10Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's not? You don't have to say their name if you don't want to.

• 9:12Speaker 05

  Okay, I shouldn't actually. Oh, my god. What if they... What if they get harassed or something by terrorists?

• 9:17Andrew Santino?

  We're gonna put her parents' social right here on the screen right now and freeze frame on her and put the socials right there and their home address and their phone numbers, please. So you're full Italian?

• 9:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, um...

• 9:27Andrew Santino?

  And your mom is an Italian lady?

• 9:28Speaker 05

  My mom...

• 9:29Andrew Santino?

  Little Italian lady?

• 9:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, she doesn't even speak English, really. Um, Italian's my first language.

• 9:33Andrew Santino?

  Shut up.

• 9:34Speaker 05

  I swear to god, I moved here from Italy.

• 9:36Andrew Santino?

  Shut up.

• 9:37Speaker 05

  When I was eleven. Yeah, I did.

• 9:38Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 9:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, I was born here and then I moved to Italy and then moved back. And so, yeah.

• 9:44Andrew Santino?

  Your mom and dad are, so you're first gen?

• 9:46Speaker 05

  Uh, I'm one and a half, because my dad was born here, but my mom was born in Italy, so...

• 9:51Andrew Santino?

  Where in Italy?

• 9:52Speaker 05

  Uh, Corfino.

• 9:53Andrew Santino?

  Cottovino?

• 9:54Speaker 05

  Corfino.

• 9:55Andrew Santino?

  And you say, and you're fluent?

• 9:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:56Andrew Santino?

  That's wonderful.

• 9:57Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:58Andrew Santino?

  That, you don't, I don't...

• 10:00Speaker 05

  I mean, I, I know, I don't have an accent because I got bullied out of it, because I wanted to seem normal.

• 10:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:05Speaker 05

  So I, I really tried really hard to not have an Italian accent, and then I finally got rid of it. But I still act kinda foreign, you know?

• 10:12Andrew Santino?

  You definitely act foreign.

• 10:13Speaker 05

  A little bit foreign, but I don't have an accent, so now people are like, "Oh, she's autistic." So now, I wish I still talked like this.

• 10:20Andrew Santino?

  There you go.

• 10:21Speaker 05

  So I seem normal.

• 10:23Andrew Santino?

  You're not autistic, though?

• 10:25Speaker 05

  I don't know. I don't, I, I...

• 10:26Andrew Santino?

  I think...

• 10:27Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 10:27Andrew Santino?

  I think so.

• 10:28Speaker 05

  You think? Okay, thank you.

• 10:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, me think so.

• 10:32Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 10:32Andrew Santino?

  No, you're not autistic.

• 10:33Speaker 05

  I don't, how do you know? Are you a doctor?

• 10:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was.

• 10:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was a first-generation doctor.

• 10:38Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 10:39Andrew Santino?

  One and a half-generation doctor.

• 10:41Speaker 05

  That's, uh, that's nice. Um, your parents must be proud.

• 10:45Andrew Santino?

  They're not.

• 10:45Speaker 05

  Are you also Italian Santino?

• 10:47Andrew Santino?

  Santino, yeah, I'm, my dad is and my mom's, uh, take a guess.

• 10:52Speaker 05

  Uh, Viking.

• 10:55Andrew Santino?

  My mom was Viking, yeah, my mom was actually Viking, yeah.

• 10:58Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 10:58Andrew Santino?

  Big pillager, my mother, Maureen the pillager, that's what they called her back in the day. My mother's Irish.

• 11:04Speaker 05

  Irish?

• 11:04Andrew Santino?

  You could've guessed that, any of the Scottish, Irish, English, it's the, the, kind of the triangle of red sadness is.

• 11:11Speaker 05

  It's funny that that's what, um,

• 11:14Speaker 05

  you showed up as, I feel like, uh, darker features are more, um.

• 11:19Andrew Santino?

  Dominant?

• 11:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, dominant.

• 11:20Andrew Santino?

  Well, I have brown eyes, which is pretty rare for redheads, a lot of redheads have lighter eyes.

• 11:24Speaker 05

  Uh, they look lighter to me.

• 11:27Andrew Santino?

  My eyes?

• 11:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, they look kind of orange, but maybe it's because of the orange surrounding them and it's bringing out the orange.

• 11:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it could be.

• 11:33Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 11:34Andrew Santino?

  Are you colorblind?

• 11:35Speaker 05

  Um, no, I don't know.

• 11:39Andrew Santino?

  What color is your shirt?

• 11:40Speaker 05

  Uh, red. I tried to match you today.

• 11:42Andrew Santino?

  Uh, it feels very nice of you, I appreciate it.

• 11:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, I thought it would look nice.

• 11:46Andrew Santino?

  I tried to match you.

• 11:49Speaker 05

  Thanks.

• 11:50Andrew Santino?

  You got it.

• 11:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:52Andrew Santino?

  Stockton, Italy, Stockton.

• 11:55Speaker 05

  You know that nail polish that you can wear and it changes color?

• 11:59Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 12:00Speaker 05

  You, well, there's a nail polish that you can wear and then it changes color if your drink gets roofied. You, you've heard of it?

• 12:08Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 12:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:09Andrew Santino?

  There's a nail polish you wear to check your, well, what do you do? You put your finger in your drink?

• 12:14Speaker 05

  I don't know, I don't know, I'd never, I mean.

• 12:16Andrew Santino?

  This doesn't, I don't understand the math on this.

• 12:18Speaker 05

  Well, the reason I thought of it is because you said, you asked me if I was colorblind and it just made me think, that must suck to find out that's how you're colorblind.

• 12:27Andrew Santino?

  If you get roofied.

• 12:28Speaker 05

  If you get roofied and you can't tell, that, I'm sorry.

• 12:32Andrew Santino?

  No, that's great, but how does that work on your fucking nails? Is it because you're holding the glass?

• 12:37Speaker 05

  Maybe like you're.

• 12:38Andrew Santino?

  No, you have to dip your finger in it, how else would you know?

• 12:40Speaker 05

  Oh, I ju, I figured it was you drink it and then something in your, I don't know how.

• 12:44Andrew Santino?

  Well, then it's too late, that's fucking awful, that's not proactive, that's reactive.

• 12:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, but then you see it changing and you're like, I have to get out of here, you know?

• 12:51Andrew Santino?

  It's too late!

• 12:52Speaker 05

  Maybe it changes to gradients, maybe it starts.

• 12:53Andrew Santino?

  I have to get out of here, right, I have to go to the bathroom first, I'll be right back.

• 13:01Andrew Santino?

  No shit, this is bad science.

• 13:05Andrew Santino?

  And there hasn't been any new articles ever seen. Yeah, that's a bad, that's a fucking terrible idea. However, a good idea would be,

• 13:12Andrew Santino?

  a good idea would be to like, every time you do get a drink, if you could drop like a sugar pill in there and the sugar pill could tell, and it would change the color of your drink.

• 13:20Speaker 05

  Or maybe instead of roofing your drink, you put Molly in there. Then it's consensual.

• 13:24Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right.

• 13:25Speaker 05

  I think that's way better.

• 13:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you said it, not me.

• 13:28Speaker 05

  Because if when you're on Molly, I think like, then people will be just loving and in a loving vibe, right?

• 13:33Andrew Santino?

  I think evil people still break through Molly.

• 13:36Speaker 05

  Oh, you think like Molly wouldn't make them loving? It would make them more evil?

• 13:40Andrew Santino?

  I think so, yeah. I think if you're evil at your core, you're gonna be evil on Molly.

• 13:44Speaker 05

  You think anyone's really evil at their core?

• 13:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:47Speaker 05

  Really?

• 13:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. There's been a pretty good list of people that have done it pretty, pretty publicly.

• 13:50Speaker 05

  But do you think they thought they were doing some, like the terrorist thing again? They think they're doing the right thing. Do you think like Hitler thought he was doing the right thing too?

• 13:59Andrew Santino?

  And wasn't he?

• 14:01Speaker 05

  No. No, that was bad.

• 14:03Andrew Santino?

  That was very bad.

• 14:04Speaker 05

  No, it was bad.

• 14:04Andrew Santino?

  Hitler, no, I'm saying there are people who I believe are born, that born broken. I do think that's a real, I think people break, but I do think you're born, I think if a terrorist is recruited, they may not have that evil intention, but they're convinced. But I do think there's people that are born broken. Like they talk about, what's his name?

• 14:24Andrew Santino?

  Come on dude, Dahmer. That like even as a child, he was cracked. And they found him like dissecting animals all the time and killing stuff and he was cracked as a kid. Some people were meant to be broken.

• 14:37Speaker 05

  Well, cause everyone has like a darkness, like their shadow, you know?

• 14:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 14:41Speaker 05

  And then the light, and then it mediates and then that's what you are. But then some people make the shadow more like, and some people are sociopaths, so then they don't even know like the difference. They just do whatever they want, cause they can't feel like.

• 14:55Andrew Santino?

  They can't feel anything.

• 14:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, but um.

• 14:57Andrew Santino?

  What's your shadow?

• 14:58Speaker 05

  My shadow? I don't, you know, I feel bad about everything. I'm, I feel guilty all the time about.

• 15:05Andrew Santino?

  Why?

• 15:06Speaker 05

  But I grew up Catholic, so I think that like, really, you too? Yeah, yeah, so I always am like. I won't even like do any, I wanna be petty so bad a lot of the times and then I'm like, no, that's bad, I shouldn't do that. Even though it would feel so good, cuz it feels good to be petty.

• 15:23Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes, depend on who, are you petty about people that have like done you wrong or said something rude or mean to you or something?

• 15:29Speaker 05

  Okay, so, for example, one time, this guy, he um, he asked if I wanted to go see Adam Sandler cuz that's my favorite comedian. And I was like, yeah, sure, I'll go with you and, you know, he was like this millionaire or something like that and um, and then he um, you know, he did something because I, I didn't wanna hang out with him more than just going to see that. And so then he like kinda like dangled it in front of me like a carrot, like, oh, I guess we won't go and see that then and I was like, okay, that's fine cuz I don't wanna like, I didn't wanna do it that bad and, but he like really rubbed it in my face, so, so I bought

• 16:08Speaker 05

  Adam Sandler tickets right in the front row, like uh, they were like a grand, they were so expensive, I did not have that money. And I drove three hours and then he sent me a picture of uh, oh, look at the seats like that I have and my seats were way better. So then I, I sent him a picture back and I sent the Adam Sandler meme, somebody's closer, you know, from Happy Gilmore.

• 16:29Andrew Santino?

  That's very good.

• 16:29Speaker 05

  And it was so worth it, then I felt so good and I blocked him and uh, I think that's like one of the pettiest things I've ever done.

• 16:35Andrew Santino?

  But that's rad.

• 16:36Speaker 05

  But it felt great.

• 16:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 16:37Speaker 05

  I couldn't make rent that month, but I was like, I got that guy, I fucking got him.

• 16:41Andrew Santino?

  You got that guy, dude.

• 16:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, I felt really good about it.

• 16:43Andrew Santino?

  Fuck rent.

• 16:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:44Andrew Santino?

  But now you're fine, aren't you, are you making good money in comedy now? Like you're making a living?

• 16:48Speaker 05

  Oh, uh, yeah, now, I live on, off of comedy.

• 16:51Andrew Santino?

  Comedy?

• 16:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:51Andrew Santino?

  That's amazing.

• 16:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:52Andrew Santino?

  Well, how, how into it, how far into it did you quit your job?

• 16:56Speaker 05

  Um.

• 16:56Andrew Santino?

  Right away?

• 16:57Speaker 05

  No, when I went on the road with Theo, that's when I, and I got fired, I didn't quit.

• 17:02Andrew Santino?

  What, Theo fired you?

• 17:03Speaker 05

  No, no, um, my insurance company fired me, as they should, they should've done it sooner, um, to be honest, I wasn't very good at my job. Hopefully there's some terrorists that aren't very good at their jobs, not to go back to that.

• 17:18Andrew Santino?

  You do keep going back to it.

• 17:19Speaker 05

  I didn't mean to.

• 17:20Andrew Santino?

  No, you can do.

• 17:21Speaker 05

  I'm sorry, my brain is uh.

• 17:22Andrew Santino?

  If you love terrorists, man, just, just get it all out.

• 17:25Speaker 05

  No, no, no, I, I just, a terrorist that's bad at his job is a good person.

• 17:30Andrew Santino?

  That is true.

• 17:31Speaker 05

  I think.

• 17:32Andrew Santino?

  A bad terrorist is a good guy.

• 17:33Speaker 05

  A bad terrorist is a good guy.

• 17:36Andrew Santino?

  Do you hang a lot around terrorists at all?

• 17:38Speaker 05

  No, I don't think so.

• 17:40Andrew Santino?

  Who's your network of people in Austin now? Like who have you found? Have you created good friendships in the comedy world? Do you prefer to stick outside of it?

• 17:47Speaker 05

  Um, I usually am around comedians, but I'm also very, um, I kinda keep to myself a lot. I have a few people that I'm close with, but I don't really hang out too much, you know? I kinda just, I do my spots and then I, I go home and I write and um, I have just a few close friends that I hang out with.

• 18:05Andrew Santino?

  That's good.

• 18:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:06Andrew Santino?

  You got any animals?

• 18:07Speaker 05

  No.

• 18:08Andrew Santino?

  Let's get you an animal.

• 18:09Speaker 05

  No.

• 18:09Andrew Santino?

  You don't like animals?

• 18:10Speaker 05

  Ah.

• 18:13Speaker 05

  I, I like them, but I, I just, I would, I would accidentally kill it.

• 18:17Andrew Santino?

  You think?

• 18:18Speaker 05

  All my plants have died. So, that's a good test that I probably shouldn't have an animal.

• 18:23Andrew Santino?

  If you can't keep a plant, you can't keep a dog?

• 18:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, if I can't keep a plant, I can't, yeah, keep a cat or a dog or, maybe a cat.

• 18:29Andrew Santino?

  Cats are pretty self-sufficient.

• 18:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, but. Yeah, I don't think I would want an animal. My mom never let us have pets growing up too, so it's kinda like soda. I was never allowed to drink soda, so now I don't have a taste for it, you know? Now I don't have a taste for pets.

• 18:45Andrew Santino?

  Thank God.

• 18:49Andrew Santino?

  Your mother never let you have soda at all?

• 18:51Speaker 05

  No.

• 18:52Andrew Santino?

  That was a big no-no, huh?

• 18:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, it was a big no-no.

• 18:54Andrew Santino?

  No-no from the no-no. What, what, what? You were like embroiled in the church as a kid and then did, at some point, did you like tell them, I don't wanna do this anymore?

• 19:03Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, one time, I, when I realized I didn't wanna go to church anymore, it was a huge deal, like my dad got really mad at me.

• 19:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what do you mean you don't want to go to church?

• 19:14Speaker 05

  No, my dad, my dad speaks, like without, he's.

• 19:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but for the sake of the best.

• 19:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're right. You're right.

• 19:24Andrew Santino?

  Why don't you want to go to church? I'm your dad.

• 19:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, okay.

• 19:27Andrew Santino?

  Why wouldn't you not to go to church?

• 19:30Speaker 05

  That's it.

• 19:33Speaker 05

  It's silly. I don't believe in it.

• 19:37Andrew Santino?

  You don't believe?

• 19:38Speaker 05

  I believe, I said there's something there, but I don't want to feel guilty all the time.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 19:48Andrew Santino?

  Hey, for me, in the mornings, they're very chaotic. I don't have time to sit down and eat a breakfast, nor do I really love having a full, big meal when I start my day. Thanks to Huell. Look at this. They sent me this big bag. This is awesome, man. This is nutritionally complete food, huh? You're hungry? Get yourself some Huell. Also, Huell got themselves something new, the Daily Greens, apple, cucumber, and mint. Do I love all three of those? I do. Forty-two vitamins and minerals and superfoods, super greens, adaptogens, lion's mane mushroom. Love mushrooms. Four grams of fiber, electrolytes, and antioxidants. You need it, you got it, thanks to Huell. Just when you thought Huell had everything covered, man, the super greens drink, this elevates. It's incredible, man. Ready to drink right now. It is so good. Forget those pills and powders and all that nonsense. This is your daily greens. Start your day with this. It fits in my hand, huh? Like, it looks like a shack with a thing.

• 20:33Andrew Santino?

  Huell is incredible. No mixing, no mess. Quick and convenient, delicious. Apple and peach, blueberry, delicious flavors. This one is actually phenomenal, by the way, the apple, cucumber, mint. Very, very good. Forty-two vitamins and minerals, like I said, 25 calories, that's it. No big deal. And one gram of sugar. One gram of sukkah, alright? It's made by dietitians. So together, Huell makes healthy eating simple. Try both today with 15% off your purchase for new customers with our exclusive code WHISKY. Go to huell.com/whiskey, huell.com/whiskey. Use my code and fill out the post-checkout survey to help support this show.

• 21:13Speaker 05

  So now I'm like really into crystals.

• 21:15Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 21:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, I went from Catholicism to

• 21:18Andrew Santino?

  To crystals.

• 21:19Speaker 05

  To the universe and stuff like that.

• 21:20Andrew Santino?

  Spencer Pratt, dude. Shout out Spencer P. He's the crystal guy. Do you know about this dude?

• 21:24Speaker 05

  No.

• 21:24Andrew Santino?

  We were talking about him yesterday. He's from The Hills. The TV show The Hills, and he's big crystal guy. But he's suing the city of LA because his husband's down in Malibu. Crazy fun story.

• 21:34Speaker 05

  I'm not a crystal for that.

• 21:36Andrew Santino?

  There's not a crystal for that, dude.

• 21:38Speaker 05

  That's fucked up. I'm really sorry about your house, sir.

• 21:41Andrew Santino?

  Well, I mean, you don't, we don't know him.

• 21:42Speaker 05

  Oh, okay, I didn't.

• 21:43Andrew Santino?

  No, God bless. I hope he's fine. Give me a crystal.

• 21:47Speaker 05

  A crystal?

• 21:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, can I have one? Do you have them with you?

• 21:50Speaker 05

  No, I don't have any with me.

• 21:52Andrew Santino?

  Do you collect them though?

• 21:53Speaker 05

  Um, I have crystals, like, it depends, sometime, and it's not, now I seem like weird, but if I go into a crystal shop because there's one around, you know, I'll like, I'll vibe with a certain, I'll be like, oh, this one, and it depends too, like, around my period, I get more crystals because I'm feeling more antsy and emotional, you know, so I'll be like, oh, this one gives you love, let me grab a few of those, you know?

• 22:16Andrew Santino?

  Are they expensive crystals? I don't know anything about them.

• 22:18Speaker 05

  Some of them are expensive and some of them aren't as expensive, but.

• 22:22Andrew Santino?

  Right, what's the most you've paid for a crystal?

• 22:24Speaker 05

  I don't know, like, uh,

• 22:26Andrew Santino?

  Like Adam Sandler tickets?

• 22:28Speaker 05

  No, oh my god, that's, no. See, I wasn't gonna go to that either if he didn't make me feel like, oh, I'm doing, you know?

• 22:36Andrew Santino?

  He was trying to hook up with you and you were like, I'm not interested, and he's like, well, if you don't hook up with me, you can't come to the show.

• 22:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I'm like, you think that I can't do this by myself?

• 22:44Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 22:44Speaker 05

  And at the time, I really was financially not.

• 22:46Andrew Santino?

  You're like, I really can't do this.

• 22:47Speaker 05

  I really can't do this by myself, but I will, just to prove a point, you know?

• 22:51Andrew Santino?

  Petty shit is rad sometimes.

• 22:53Speaker 05

  Sometimes petty stuff is good.

• 22:54Andrew Santino?

  Because if it's deserved, that deserved for you to be petty?

• 22:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, I didn't feel like I was hurting anyone, that was more just like.

• 23:01Andrew Santino?

  That guy ended up killing himself, by the way.

• 23:03Speaker 05

  You think so?

• 23:04Andrew Santino?

  Because of that, yeah, a hundred percent.

• 23:05Speaker 05

  I don't know, I.

• 23:06Andrew Santino?

  I can't believe she got closer!

• 23:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:09Andrew Santino?

  Bitch!

• 23:11Andrew Santino?

  Fuck him. Who cares, dude, we don't need that guy. And you blocked him, that's pretty rad. Imagine listening to the show, he follows your every step, and now he hates me by proxy because of her?

• 23:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, now he comes and finds you somehow, I don't know.

• 23:23Andrew Santino?

  And then takes me to an Adam Sandler concert.

• 23:25Speaker 05

  He's a compulsive liar.

• 23:27Andrew Santino?

  Oh yeah, so this was bound to not work.

• 23:29Speaker 05

  Well, yeah, yeah.

• 23:31Andrew Santino?

  Well, fuck that guy, he's in the past, we don't need that guy around. Bad energy, dude.

• 23:34Speaker 05

  No, no.

• 23:35Andrew Santino?

  And we got good energy with crystals.

• 23:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, good energy with crystals. Some crystals are more intense than other crystals, but, but we don't have to keep talking about crystals, I'm really not that into them, I mean, I think they're cool, but, uh, you know.

• 23:48Andrew Santino?

  What's your thing, then?

• 23:49Speaker 05

  What's my thing?

• 23:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, like, what do you do outside of comedy? What is your kind of like?

• 23:54Speaker 05

  Um, I, I write, but that's comedy related.

• 23:57Andrew Santino?

  Comedy still. What's outside of comedy for you?

• 23:58Speaker 05

  Um, I, I used to run. I ran half a marathon earlier this year.

• 24:03Andrew Santino?

  Nice.

• 24:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, cuz I was really, really anxious and like going through it. But uh, then when I feel happier, I don't feel like I even need to do that. I like, I like going to the movies. I have a month pass to Alamo Drafthouse. I don't know, do they have it in LA?

• 24:19Andrew Santino?

  We do. We have, they're all over the country. Those things are pretty fucking rad.

• 24:22Speaker 05

  But it's nice. Sometimes I like to go to the movies by myself.

• 24:25Andrew Santino?

  Solo, yeah? Solo movie is way better than solo, than with friends.

• 24:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 24:28Andrew Santino?

  Solo to me, I've learned is way better. I like, I just think it's nicer. You really get to enjoy it and you don't have to talk to anybody about it.

• 24:35Speaker 05

  Oh, it's, it's super nice. And then I can take a nap. Sometimes I'll go and I don't even like, I don't even care about what the movie is. I just like to be in the chair and like get food and then I like kinda pass out and it's just nice. Yeah.

• 24:48Andrew Santino?

  You miss the movie.

• 24:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, I miss the movie, but it's okay. It, it, you never know if you're gonna like the movie, so if you don't, then you can take a nap cuz the seats are so comfortable.

• 24:56Andrew Santino?

  That's why they started doing that. Cuz movies are getting shittier, so they're like, just make them nice seats, so in case they fucking pass out, it doesn't matter, I'm not gonna complain.

• 25:03Speaker 05

  What's the last movie you watched that you liked?

• 25:06Speaker 00

  Need fast hydration for the summer heat? Hydrate your wins with the new Liquid IV Sugar-Free Ring Pop Cherry. It's the classic cherry ring pop flavor you grew up loving. Reimagined as a zero-sugar hydration mix that's clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're spending the day in the heat, recovering after a workout, or just looking for an easy afternoon pick-me-up, Liquid IV makes hydration simple and delicious. Shop LiquidIV.com. Save with their Buy 3, Get 1 Free offer and use promo code POD26. That's P-O-D-2-6. Let's be honest, you don't go to the family holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, get a gift that'll cause a stir.

• 25:50Speaker 00

  A KitchenAid Stand Mixer. It's not just an appliance, it's a present to help them with the making. Year after year, recipe after recipe, you're enabling the family to whip up new traditions. 'Tis your season to mix it up. Gift a KitchenAid Stand Mixer this year and make more than meals.

• 26:10Andrew Santino?

  The more, the last movie I saw was Honey Don't, the Ethan Coen movie. Um, I just saw that. And then, uh, I wanna go see, I think I'm gonna see Weapons tonight.

• 26:21Speaker 05

  Oh, I heard that one's really scary, so I haven't seen it.

• 26:24Andrew Santino?

  You don't like scary movies?

• 26:25Speaker 05

  No, I love scary movies. I do. Um, but I just got, I, I read the description and was like, it had to do with kids, so stuff with kids kinda like.

• 26:34Andrew Santino?

  Is it, is it? Oh.

• 26:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, so things with kids, I'm like, like, uh, that one movie with Jennifer Lawrence where there's the baby and the baby dies at the end. Spoiler alert.

• 26:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I don't know, you just ruined it for me, whatever it is. Mother?

• 26:48Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:49Andrew Santino?

  I don't remember that.

• 26:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, but at the end, the baby dies and they pass it around. And, uh, I don't like stuff like that. I don't like seeing babies die.

• 26:59Andrew Santino?

  No, kid stuff, dead kid stuff is weird, that stuff's bad.

• 27:01Speaker 05

  I don't like that kinda stuff.

• 27:02Andrew Santino?

  Well, they inject kids in a lot, in horror often because kids, when they're creepy, are creepier. A creepy child is weirder than a creepy adult because.

• 27:10Speaker 05

  The juxtaposition between the innocence of a kid and like the evilness of like.

• 27:14Andrew Santino?

  And cause they're, they're not fully developed, so their faces look weird, so when they make a weird face, you're like, ew. It looks even scarier. When a little kid's like, yeah, you're like, oh my god.

• 27:24Speaker 05

  It's kinda like the Smile movies too, it's so like creepy because a smile's supposed to be something inviting and like nice, you know? But then the eyes are like evil and then the smile and it's just like, that doesn't go together and so you feel uncomfortable on the inside.

• 27:39Andrew Santino?

  Do you like feeling uncomfortable?

• 27:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, I do.

• 27:44Speaker 05

  I do, I'm always uncomfortable, but I think I need to be or else I'll find something to get, like, if I don't have, if I'm not constantly stressed out. I'll do something to stress, I'll, I'll find something in the catalog of memories that I'm like, oh, what about that thing a few years ago that? Like, hurt your feelings or like that's this problem that never got resolved, you should probably fixate on that. So, it's nice to always be stressed out on the road and like performing.

• 28:10Andrew Santino?

  That's nice.

• 28:10Speaker 05

  I kinda like that, yeah.

• 28:11Andrew Santino?

  Are you on the road right now?

• 28:13Speaker 05

  Um, yeah, uh, I'm going to New Orleans next.

• 28:17Andrew Santino?

  Oh man, I fucking.

• 28:19Speaker 05

  You like it?

• 28:20Andrew Santino?

  Hate it.

• 28:20Speaker 05

  Oh, why?

• 28:21Andrew Santino?

  Absolutely hate it. I hated my time down there, didn't I? Something didn't line up, I just didn't like it. Where are you playing?

• 28:28Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 28:30Speaker 05

  No.

• 28:31Andrew Santino?

  That disorganized thing really is kicking in.

• 28:33Speaker 05

  I told you, and I'm very ADHD and scattered too.

• 28:37Andrew Santino?

  Scatterbrained.

• 28:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, scatterbrained.

• 28:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we said that. No, I had a fun time in New Orleans. It was just a dip. It was just, it's a, it's an interesting city. It's an odd city. I can't put my finger on it.

• 28:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:48Andrew Santino?

  Like, you know Mark Normand?

• 28:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:49Andrew Santino?

  He's from there.

• 28:50Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 28:51Andrew Santino?

  Do you see what I'm saying?

• 28:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:53Andrew Santino?

  Like, the guy makes no sense. And he's a good friend of mine. I can't even figure that guy out at all. He's New Orleans. If New Orleans is a person, it's Norman. Hey.

• 29:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, he-

• 29:02Andrew Santino?

  I'm gay.

• 29:03Speaker 05

  He does act pretty black.

• 29:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he does. He thinks he's black.

• 29:08Speaker 05

  I'm like, oh, that's what I do. Instead of, I don't act Italian, I'm Amer- that's the disconnect, you know? It's like, oh, he's acting so black, but he's a white guy. What is that about?

• 29:17Andrew Santino?

  Where's the connection, Mark? Yeah, New Orleans, you'll have fun. Are you solo on the road?

• 29:24Speaker 05

  No, I travel with, with my, my, he's a comedian, Ridge Hirschburger. He's my feature and I take him on the road with me everywhere. And then I alternate with people that open for me sometimes.

• 29:36Andrew Santino?

  Ridge Hirschburger?

• 29:38Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm. Yeah. He's been on Kill Tony a few times too.

• 29:41Andrew Santino?

  Ridge Hirschburger. I thought of, is there a kid named Ran, Ron Hirschberg? There's another kid named Ran Hirschberg, or?

• 29:48Speaker 05

  I, I only know the, the one, but I'm sure there's others.

• 29:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I think that name is from, and it's not the same guy, I don't think. Ridge Hirschburger.

• 29:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 29:56Andrew Santino?

  Not Jewish, surprisingly enough.

• 29:58Speaker 05

  No, not Jewish. No, yeah. He's, he also is not Jewish. Maybe it is the same guy. I don't know.

• 30:04Andrew Santino?

  It's the same guy.

• 30:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:06Andrew Santino?

  How is this guy not Jewish?

• 30:08Speaker 05

  Um, I don't know.

• 30:09Andrew Santino?

  Hirschburger?

• 30:10Speaker 05

  I know, I don't know.

• 30:11Andrew Santino?

  He's running away from something.

• 30:12Speaker 05

  Actually, I think he might be German. He might be the opposite.

• 30:15Andrew Santino?

  No, Ger- there's a lot of German Jews, actually.

• 30:17Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 30:18Andrew Santino?

  I should've just let you land that joke, but that genuinely-

• 30:20Speaker 05

  No, there wasn't a joke.

• 30:24Andrew Santino?

  There's a lot of German Jews, there's a lot of German Jews.

• 30:26Speaker 05

  Are we supposed to be joking?

• 30:27Andrew Santino?

  No, not at all. You should take this a little bit more serious.

• 30:30Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 30:30Andrew Santino?

  Being on time would have been a good way to start.

• 30:32Speaker 05

  I'm so sorry.

• 30:34Andrew Santino?

  So you go with ridge?

• 30:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:36Andrew Santino?

  Rich or ridge?

• 30:37Speaker 05

  Ridge.

• 30:38Andrew Santino?

  Like the ridge of a...

• 30:39Speaker 05

  Like a mountain. Like, that's what he says. He has a joke where he says ridge like the mountain.

• 30:44Andrew Santino?

  And you guys are, and you guys are old friends, or do you meet in the Kill Tony scene?

• 30:47Speaker 05

  No, we met in a hostel in Austin. When I moved to Austin, he moved to Austin and we were in the same hostel.

• 30:53Andrew Santino?

  And you were like, "Hey, I'm doing comedies like me too," and then you became Besties?

• 30:56Speaker 05

  Actually, a lot of comedians kinda...

• 30:58Andrew Santino?

  Lived in that hostel?

• 30:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think, I don't know, maybe it was a... I wasn't doing comedy when I moved there, but a lot of them were like there because of the ro- you know, the...

• 31:08Andrew Santino?

  The Rogan, the club, yeah.

• 31:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, then I, I kinda got lucky. It was something I always like kinda thought in the back of my head, like, "Oh, comedy would be cool," you know, but uh, and so then I wanted to try it and then I finally did it and they were all... One of the comedians actually took me to my first open mic.

• 31:24Andrew Santino?

  Who was it?

• 31:24Speaker 05

  I don't remember.

• 31:25Andrew Santino?

  Good, it's nice. They're gone, they're in your rearview now, man. Fuck them, dude. You move up and on.

• 31:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 31:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, forget where you came from. You know what I mean?

• 31:34Speaker 05

  No, no, no.

• 31:36Andrew Santino?

  Are you gonna be, are you gonna be, has anyone come out of Stockton? Has there ever been any comics that come out of Stockton?

• 31:40Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 31:42Andrew Santino?

  Look that up, I'm kinda curious to know. You could, what if you become the Stockton comedian, the most famous comedian from Stockton? That's kinda rad.

• 31:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, that would be, that would be awesome.

• 31:51Andrew Santino?

  It'd be fucking great.

• 31:52Speaker 05

  That would be cool.

• 31:53Andrew Santino?

  Cause Stockton is, uh, nobody, right?

• 31:56Speaker 05

  I mean, uh, the Diaz brothers, but they...

• 31:59Andrew Santino?

  No, they're fighters.

• 32:00Speaker 05

  I know they're, I don't know, I know, but uh, you know, the Stockton slap's kinda funny, like, when did he like, I assume?

• 32:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it is very funny, actually.

• 32:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's a kind of a funny like thing to do, to make...

• 32:10Andrew Santino?

  I went out with them one time with Nate and Shane and it was fucking...

• 32:14Andrew Santino?

  It was insane, cause he travels with like thirty dudes and they party as hard as anybody's ever partied. But yes, the fighters from Stockton, the bros, but you're the only comic. We're gonna stamp you as the greatest comedian from Stockton.

• 32:26Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 32:26Andrew Santino?

  Live on this show.

• 32:27Speaker 05

  Alright.

• 32:29Andrew Santino?

  How does that feel?

• 32:31Andrew Santino?

  Did anything change?

• 32:32Speaker 05

  I don't know, I felt a little good on the inside, a little less anxious, so it's good.

• 32:36Andrew Santino?

  What makes you feel the least anxious?

• 32:38Speaker 05

  What makes, um, well, you know, when I smoke weed now, when I first started smoking weed, I get panic attacks. Um, but then you, I just like persisted, you know?

• 32:47Andrew Santino?

  You gotta push through?

• 32:48Speaker 05

  I just pushed through it and then I just like...

• 32:52Andrew Santino?

  You feel good? Are you high right now?

• 32:53Speaker 05

  No, I kinda wish I was though, so I could like be looser.

• 32:57Andrew Santino?

  You're loose. You're fine.

• 32:59Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 32:59Andrew Santino?

  I mean, I think so. You know, you've been on a podcast run. I've seen you on a few. You did gyms, right? You did gym. Did you do gyms more than once?

• 33:05Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I did gym the one time, but...

• 33:08Andrew Santino?

  He's the best.

• 33:09Speaker 05

  He's the best.

• 33:10Andrew Santino?

  Did you meet his wife?

• 33:11Speaker 05

  No, I didn't.

• 33:12Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 33:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:13Andrew Santino?

  She's more fun than him.

• 33:14Speaker 05

  Really?

• 33:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, she's, well, she's just, she's bolder and louder and says more wild shit. Jim says wild shit, but she says wild ass shit too.

• 33:25Speaker 05

  Oh, cool. That makes sense why they're together.

• 33:26Andrew Santino?

  They're phenomenal. Yeah, they're both fucking great. But you're on a, you're doing a bunch of different podcasts and I think you're killing. I think you think you might be, you know, not what you want it to be, but next time I should have told you just get high.

• 33:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, maybe we could get high together.

• 33:42Andrew Santino?

  I would love that. I would love to get high with you.

• 33:44Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 33:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Do you do edibles or do you smoke weed?

• 33:47Speaker 05

  Um, well, you know, with edibles, it's kinda like a waiting game, like, oh, how is this gonna hit me, you know, and when?

• 33:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 33:53Speaker 05

  Sometimes it's hours before I feel it with an edible.

• 33:56Andrew Santino?

  Hours, yeah, usually I get within the first hour usually gets me.

• 33:59Speaker 05

  Usually, yeah. Usually it's not that long, but sometimes you think you're not high and then it hits you when you're like...

• 34:05Andrew Santino?

  Hard.

• 34:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, when you're in TSA and you're like, fuck dude.

• 34:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, but like when I smoke, I can pretty immediately like, so usually I'll smoke.

• 34:14Andrew Santino?

  I like to smoke, see? That's me too. I like to smoke. I've always preferred smoking a joint over all the... I also don't like the vape pens. I don't like those, the like weed vape pens.

• 34:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:23Andrew Santino?

  It tastes weird. It doesn't taste the way I want weed to taste. Even sometimes good edibles taste like you smoked weed.

• 34:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:30Andrew Santino?

  And you're like, this is kinda nice. It reminds me of what I do. The vape pens, every time I smoke one of those weed vape pens, I feel...

• 34:36Speaker 05

  It doesn't give you the same kinda high either. Like, it's not as a...

• 34:39Andrew Santino?

  It feels electric high. I feel like I'm, it's a...

• 34:42Speaker 05

  Kinda feels like...

• 34:43Andrew Santino?

  Synthetic high.

• 34:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, kinda like it's Delta or something.

• 34:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, like the shit from the gas station?

• 34:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, which isn't as...

• 34:49Andrew Santino?

  Dude, I did that one time. I hit, that stuff's fucking yuck. Have you ever done that shit? The worst. Never again.

• 34:54Speaker 05

  It still gets you really high, but it's not a nice...

• 34:56Andrew Santino?

  It's uncomfortable. It's not a high I like.

• 34:58Speaker 05

  No, me either. It's super high.

• 35:00Andrew Santino?

  I'll get stoned with you.

• 35:01Speaker 05

  Right now?

• 35:03Andrew Santino?

  I don't have any weed on me right now.

• 35:04Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 35:04Andrew Santino?

  I'm sorry. Did I let you down?

• 35:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 35:06Andrew Santino?

  We might have weed in the studio somewhere if I'm being honest. There's so much drugs and nonsense in this studio. Not illegal drugs.

• 35:13Speaker 05

  Okay, good.

• 35:13Andrew Santino?

  There's mostly prescription drugs because of me being an old white. There's statins out there. There's all sorts of stuff out there for me. You're not on any prescription medication, are you?

• 35:23Speaker 05

  No.

• 35:23Andrew Santino?

  Too young, too healthy, too alive.

• 35:25Speaker 05

  I I take vitamins.

• 35:28Andrew Santino?

  Flintstone?

• 35:28Speaker 05

  No.

• 35:29Andrew Santino?

  Which ones?

• 35:30Speaker 05

  I take like the the fish one. What's the fish one? Omega three fatty.

• 35:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, oh yeah, that's really good for you.

• 35:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think it's been helping with the brain fog that I get.

• 35:40Andrew Santino?

  Do you really get bad brain fog?

• 35:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, sometimes I'll like start a sentence and then I'll forget kinda like, oh, what were I, what was I going with that, you know, or like?

• 35:48Andrew Santino?

  That's, see, I have this problem because I get worried about my memory.

• 35:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, me too.

• 35:52Andrew Santino?

  But I talked to my doctor and he said it's more about, uh. He said it's more about like manic thoughts. Like if I've got a lot of stuff going on, it's clogging up the portion of my brain that usually functions in a smooth path. So he's like, that's because your anxiety is making you feel like you're forgetting stuff, but you're really not. Cause you know how like the next day you'll remember it very clearly?

• 36:10Speaker 05

  No.

• 36:11Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you won't go back to that?

• 36:12Speaker 05

  No, maybe I have mem- now I'm worried again. Uh, you made me feel better and now I'm like, oh.

• 36:17Andrew Santino?

  Shit, I'm sorry.

• 36:18Speaker 05

  No, I don't.

• 36:19Andrew Santino?

  Forever.

• 36:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, but maybe what if I do remember it, but I just didn't know that I, that was the thing from yesterday. But it is because I forgot it. Does that make sense?

• 36:27Andrew Santino?

  But if you live in the now, it doesn't matter then.

• 36:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's true.

• 36:30Andrew Santino?

  Remembered it for the moment being, right? Do, when you said you run, how far do you typically run?

• 36:35Speaker 05

  Well, now I'm like.

• 36:36Andrew Santino?

  You're not running?

• 36:37Speaker 05

  Now I'm like walking and running like kinda thing, like a few miles, like maybe like two miles, but um, when I did the half marathon, that was like.

• 36:46Andrew Santino?

  We can put it together, can't we?

• 36:47Speaker 05

  Thirteen miles, I think.

• 36:49Andrew Santino?

  Thirteen point.

• 36:49Speaker 05

  Thirteen point something, one.

• 36:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 36:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:52Andrew Santino?

  That's good. That's fucking long. I used to run long distance. I quit when I got hurt, but I used to run like seven mi- five to seven miles a day. Well, I'd skip a day sometimes, but I got, it got, it's my body got, it just, I used to love that though. That, if I felt depressed or anxious, that was my favorite thing to do.

• 37:07Speaker 05

  Oh, so great.

• 37:07Andrew Santino?

  And I ran at night. I know that's tougher for you.

• 37:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't think I.

• 37:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I'm sorry. I know. That's a very, that's a privileged thing.

• 37:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:14Andrew Santino?

  I run at night in a bad neighborhood.

• 37:16Speaker 05

  With my shirt off.

• 37:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, with my shirt off.

• 37:19Speaker 05

  Well, now you're just kinda like, maybe you want something.

• 37:21Andrew Santino?

  Rubbing it in, yeah, I do, and I wear short shorts.

• 37:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:25Andrew Santino?

  You know why they attack Santino night running? What was he wearing? And that's what the press always says, what was he wearing? Did he deserve it? Now, I used to run at night in my neighborhood, I used to really enjoy it, especially because in the summer it gets so hot in LA and then when it, like, right when it gets dusk. Ah, night run, it feels so nice. I'm sorry to brag.

• 37:43Speaker 05

  No, no, it's okay.

• 37:44Andrew Santino?

  Move to a nicer place and you won't have to worry about it. Austin's not too sketchy.

• 37:48Speaker 05

  Well.

• 37:48Andrew Santino?

  Unless you're on Sixth Street.

• 37:49Speaker 05

  Compared to Stockton, nothing's that sketchy.

• 37:51Andrew Santino?

  That's fact. That place is a little heavy, huh?

• 37:53Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, but, um, everybody says that Austin is sketchy and there's a serial killer that's going around.

• 37:59Andrew Santino?

  I know, I heard about this, right? The Sixth Street Strangler?

• 38:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:02Andrew Santino?

  Has he gotten anybody that you know?

• 38:03Speaker 05

  No, not anyone I know, but, um,

• 38:07Speaker 05

  maybe if you run there at night with short shorts, you would be prime.

• 38:11Andrew Santino?

  That'd be hard to catch, I'm pretty quick.

• 38:12Speaker 05

  Really?

• 38:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I mean, if he's got a gun, I'm done, but I'd love to have a chase against a Strangler.

• 38:20Speaker 05

  Hey, that would be fun to watch, in the distance, with binoculars.

• 38:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Is that Santino? Oh, that's a guy with a knife. Rad. Yeah, this, no, Austin Sixth Street is the only part that's like truly kinda sketchmagedge, but it gets that way just because everyone comes in to party there. So there's drugs and alcohol and

• 38:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:38Andrew Santino?

  Black Israelites and, uh,

• 38:39Speaker 05

  There are a lot of those.

• 38:40Andrew Santino?

  So a lot of black Israelites on there, dude.

• 38:42Speaker 05

  Black Israelites.

• 38:43Andrew Santino?

  I think I was like yelling the N-word at me over and over and I was just going to the mothership. And so I was like, fine, I'll join, so I joined.

• 38:49Speaker 05

  You said, saying the N-word, or?

• 38:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Well, I wanted to be able to say it, I was like, for crying out loud, can I do it?

• 38:54Speaker 05

  Well, well, I heard someone say that gingers are black, so.

• 38:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's this pervasive rumor on the internet, I just don't know if that's true yet.

• 39:02Speaker 05

  Can I say ginger, or should I say ginga? Just kidding, that's so bad.

• 39:06Andrew Santino?

  Take it back or we're gonna cut that out.

• 39:10Speaker 05

  I didn't mean that, it was so stupid, I'm sorry.

• 39:14Andrew Santino?

  Gingers are bla, gingers are not black, I think what that woman was trying to say was we were treated Socially differently, whites always treated gingers differently.

• 39:25Speaker 05

  Okay, but whites treated other whites differently, like Italians weren't even whites for a while.

• 39:30Andrew Santino?

  It's not the same.

• 39:31Speaker 05

  But it was the same.

• 39:32Andrew Santino?

  Irish were the poorest people in the world, they couldn't get jobs. There was signs that said Irish need not apply. Wait a minute.

• 39:38Speaker 05

  Who wants to hire a drunk Irish guy?

• 39:40Andrew Santino?

  Who wants to hire a little annoying Italian guy, a little stinky, no showering Italian guy? I come in here innocently looking for a job. Well, you stink, Mario, get the fuck out of here. Well. There are signs that used to say Irish need not apply, all over New York, and in fact, they're still up. Certain places kept them, there's ones that say Irish and dogs out back. How crazy is that?

• 40:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's insane.

• 40:05Andrew Santino?

  You don't even like dogs. So you don't like Irish people either?

• 40:07Speaker 05

  No, no, Irish are fine, I'm just saying that.

• 40:10Andrew Santino?

  Fine?

• 40:11Speaker 05

  They're good.

• 40:12Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wow, okay, thank you, Ms. Mariani, we just got the fine pass from you. No, redheads were just treated, what I'm saying is, yeah, whites treated all whites differently. Whites treat each other subset differently, but gingers were always this outlier, we always were kind of. All the whites could agree, that's the, we don't like that.

• 40:32Andrew Santino?

  Touching the hair, touching of the hair, yeah, touching of the hair.

• 40:34Speaker 05

  Well, I think they thought you guys were, like, because red, you know, that's the devil.

• 40:40Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 40:41Speaker 05

  So I think maybe, you know, because they'd burn witches and stuff, they'd burn, like, people that. Gingers probably just give off that vibe of, like, evilness.

• 40:52Andrew Santino?

  Devil evil, yeah, I understand.

• 40:54Speaker 05

  But, like, people are, like, weird like that, you know?

• 40:56Andrew Santino?

  So you associate color with good, so white is good and black is bad, is that what you're saying, Christina?

• 41:01Speaker 05

  No, I'm saying red is bad.

• 41:03Andrew Santino?

  Right, so any darker color shader than white is bad.

• 41:06Speaker 05

  But it's not even bad, it's just fire.

• 41:08Andrew Santino?

  Black is bad and red is bad, is what you're saying?

• 41:10Speaker 05

  No, no, no.

• 41:10Andrew Santino?

  So Christina said, red is the devil, black people are evil, and you said brown people are dirty, is that what she said?

• 41:18Speaker 05

  I didn't say any of that, I didn't say anything of the sort, I.

• 41:22Andrew Santino?

  You got plans, January 6th?

• 41:23Speaker 05

  This is why, probably, because, see, this is evil.

• 41:29Speaker 05

  That makes sense.

• 41:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we just have a, we look wrong, we look wrong. So whites see us, they go, that's wrong, that's not what we're supposed to look like.

• 41:36Speaker 05

  You know, people do that to animals too, though, not just other people.

• 41:41Andrew Santino?

  Well, some animals are ugly.

• 41:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, and the ugly animals are the ones that get like, you know, there's a species in Africa of lemurs that's like really ugly, they're called the aye aye lemurs and they, the villagers just get so freaked out by the lemurs that they're just killing them, they're going extinct just because of how ugly they are. They didn't do anything, they're just existing.

• 41:59Andrew Santino?

  But they're ugly.

• 41:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, but they're ugly, so people just kind of have the prejudice, but not the gingers are, you're not a, you're a good looking guy. They're just fucking.

• 42:08Andrew Santino?

  You know, how mean is this?

• 42:09Speaker 05

  I'm not trying to say it like that, but.

• 42:10Andrew Santino?

  Jeez, do you see the way she just did that twice, just being mean? See, that's not that ugly, I don't think.

• 42:15Speaker 05

  They have, look at their fingers.

• 42:17Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's their hands that give it away?

• 42:18Speaker 05

  Their hands is like the creepy part, they have a really long nail that gets like the ants.

• 42:24Andrew Santino?

  I mean, I actually think that's kind of rad, I don't know why I like that thing. Maybe because I'm an outcast and I feel the pain from that thing. Someone like you who's been good looking your whole life, you didn't feel what we felt. As an ugly little redheaded boy.

• 42:34Speaker 05

  You think I, what?

• 42:35Andrew Santino?

  You don't understand the pain that we had to go through. So I see that and I go cute.

• 42:40Speaker 05

  No, I was, I, no, I, you think I, I get like this because, because of how hot I've been?

• 42:48Andrew Santino?

  I didn't say.

• 42:48Speaker 05

  Do you think my personality is?

• 42:49Andrew Santino?

  I'm saying, you don't know the pain of being an ugly outcast.

• 42:54Speaker 05

  Yes, I do.

• 42:55Andrew Santino?

  You were an ugly outcast?

• 42:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, dude, what do you mean?

• 42:58Andrew Santino?

  When were you an ugly outcast when you were a kid?

• 43:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, I've been just, I think when I was twenty one, twenty, a guy in college was hitting on me and I was just like, this guy's really nice. And I had no idea like that he was hitting on me, you know? And um, that was the first time that like, I felt like guys showed interest. In, in high school, do you want to know, my nickname was Awkward. I'd walk down, hey Awkward, and I'd be like, hi, oh, fuck, don't say hi back, you know, like kind of thing.

• 43:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but awkward is not ugly.

• 43:30Speaker 05

  No, but uh, but also I, no, I had acne and I was like a bigger, not that being-

• 43:36Andrew Santino?

  You were heavy?

• 43:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, I was, not heavy, it dispersed okay, but my, my, you know, my dad said I was fat.

• 43:42Andrew Santino?

  Sweet father.

• 43:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, but he was, in a funny way, he wouldn't say it like, in a way that was mean, he would be like-

• 43:48Andrew Santino?

  Get ready for school, fatso.

• 43:50Speaker 05

  No, no.

• 43:51Andrew Santino?

  The bus is leaving, fatass.

• 43:54Speaker 05

  No, one time like I wore a dress, right, and uh, and he was like, it looks like you got two hogs fighting under a blanket. And um, that was funny, you know, that's like-

• 44:03Andrew Santino?

  That's mean?

• 44:03Speaker 05

  It's really funny though, like-

• 44:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it is though.

• 44:05Speaker 05

  Right, cuz it's like my, walking, it looks like there's just-

• 44:08Andrew Santino?

  Two hogs fighting, yeah.

• 44:09Speaker 05

  The image was really funny, I thought, it was hurtful, but funny.

• 44:12Andrew Santino?

  But if moms say it to daughters, I hear that that's, that's where a lot of that body image stuff stems from with women, is their mothers are mean.

• 44:18Speaker 05

  Oh, uh, no.

• 44:19Andrew Santino?

  Was your mom mean about that stuff?

• 44:20Speaker 05

  No, my mom is so sweet, but like, she would be honest though, um-

• 44:24Andrew Santino?

  Was your mom a bigger lady?

• 44:25Speaker 05

  No, no, my family, they, they all look healthy, they're-

• 44:29Andrew Santino?

  Tiny people.

• 44:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, tiny, tiny Italian.

• 44:33Andrew Santino?

  Tiny little Italians.

• 44:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, but she-

• 44:34Andrew Santino?

  But you're kinda tall, how tall are you?

• 44:35Speaker 05

  I'm tall, yeah, I'm five eight and a half, five nine, uh, something along those lines.

• 44:41Andrew Santino?

  Don't put a question mark on it, I don't know.

• 44:42Speaker 05

  No, I, I'm, I'm around that area, in that ballpark, you know, the-

• 44:46Andrew Santino?

  The shoes are big, that, that's five nine then.

• 44:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, yeah, with these, it's five nine or, five six, if I was a guy.

• 44:59Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 45:02Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I'm here to tell you about Zocdoc, look at this, I got a wiggly eye, my, my right eye is wiggly waggly, I found out I got blepharitis, that's just an eye infection, don't get weird about it, mom, it's not that big of a deal. Thank you to Zocdoc, I found myself and booked an appointment on Zocdoc with a brand new doctor. Look, a lot of times, uh, we don't know where to turn and Zocdoc is there, it's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. You could book in-network appointments, over a hundred thousand doctors, mental health, the dental health, they really got it all, no matter what you're looking for. Once you find that doctor, you get to see their actual appointments, you know, not some vague weird- Rogue thing you have to click through. No, you can see what's open. And by the way, you can even score same day appointments if you're lucky.

• 45:43Andrew Santino?

  I have done so myself and they typically happen within 24 to 72 hours. So that's very fast and you can see actual doctors near you, actual patient reviews, not some weird AI computer generated nonsense. So stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to zocdoc.com/whiskey to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z o c d o c dot com slash whiskey, zocdoc.com slash whiskey. This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace helps you do everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place. Look, I've been talking about Squarespace for a long time because I developed my site on there and they are so incredible.

• 46:28Andrew Santino?

  The analytics that they provide for you, the SEO tools to help you show up more often to people that are searching for you are, I mean, it's unmatched. They also have a video section on there. They have a payout section on there. So you can, you can sell content if you'd like, whatever you're doing, no matter what it is, they can help you grow your business, grow your brand, grow whatever it is. Or by the way, you want just donations, maybe you're raising money for something. They can help you over there at Squarespace. It genuinely is the best way to build a site. Back in the day, it was way harder. Now you can do it. Thank you to Squarespace. Go to squarespace.com/whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using the code whiskey. Once again, squarespace.com/whiskey. Save yourself 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain and use that code whiskey.

• 47:15Andrew Santino?

  Have you dated short little guys like that, little five sixers?

• 47:17Speaker 05

  Actually, most of the guys I've dated have been like kind of around my height. Like I think the last guy I dated was a little bit shorter, maybe. I don't mind. I don't really care about stuff like that. I think I'm more of a vibes person.

• 47:30Andrew Santino?

  What's your vibes?

• 47:31Speaker 05

  If I can like riff with somebody or like connect with them emotionally, then, and if they make me laugh, if they're funny and they get the same kind of fucked up sense of humor that I have, then that's what I like. I like more of a...

• 47:44Andrew Santino?

  A dark humor.

• 47:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, like a darker, they just like go there and then we can laugh about it. Like, I don't know. That's what I enjoy. I didn't really care too much about. Physical appearance that on a, you know, it just depends if we vibe.

• 47:57Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 47:58Speaker 05

  I don't think guys have that. I don't think guys.

• 48:01Andrew Santino?

  I think men get that. Men do when you get older. I think men care much more about the connection. I think when you're a young lad, yeah, guys are more. I think you're more superficial when you're younger and then you get older and you kind of really care about uh connection because you've already lived through the time of, you know. Oh, I want to get this hot chick. And then you guys get older and they're like, I want to be able to talk to somebody who cares about me.

• 48:25Speaker 05

  Well, it's weird because I feel like um, you know, like I've been on dates with really attractive guys and they're, you know, like really tall and good looking or whatever. And then I talk to them and um.

• 48:37Andrew Santino?

  And they're stupid?

• 48:37Speaker 05

  I can't find, yeah, and then I can't find them. I don't see them anymore. Like something changes where they change, like they morph into like, oh.

• 48:44Andrew Santino?

  What's the first thing they say that turns you off? Like when a tall dumb guy says something to you?

• 48:48Speaker 05

  Um, I'll say something kind of unhinged. Like I usually don't like doing the small talk thing. I'll just say an unhinged thing right away and see how they take it. And if they just like kind of ignore it and then they ask me like, oh, so what's your family like? And then I'm like, hmm, now I'm bored. You know, like it's like we'll find out about that stuff later, but like. I don't know. You know what I mean?

• 49:09Andrew Santino?

  What's your icebreaker question? Do you have like an icebreaker thing when you go on a date?

• 49:13Speaker 05

  Um.

• 49:14Speaker 00

  Need fast hydration for the summer heat? Hydrate your winds with the new Liquid IV Sugar-Free Ring Pop Cherry. It's the classic cherry ring pop flavor you grew up loving. Reimagined as a zero sugar hydration mix that's clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're spending the day in the heat, recovering after a workout, or just looking for an easy afternoon pick me up, Liquid IV makes hydration simple and delicious. Shop LiquidIV.com. Save with their buy three, get one free offer, and use promo code POD26. That's P O D two six.

• 49:50Speaker 00

  We all want to stay healthy for as long as humanly possible. It seems like a lofty goal, but it can be effortless to get started with Aura. Aura helps you tune into your holistic health with a small ring that measures more than 50 metrics, all from your finger. It looks like any other ring, goes great with any look, and is so comfortable, I never want to take it off. Aura tracks your sleep and activity automatically. It monitors your stress, heart health, and gives you in-depth insights into your cycle. Then Aura brings your personal health data into the app to show you how it's all connected, what to pay attention to, and what you can do next. The more you understand your body, the better you can live in it. Wear your best life with Aura.

• 50:35Speaker 05

  No, I just, I'll say something like-

• 50:37Andrew Santino?

  You're like, "Israel or Palestine, dude, go." See how the date shakes out?

• 50:42Speaker 05

  No, just something that I'm thinking about, like, I don't know. It's different every time, like, I had this thought the other day, like, um... They say, you know how they say Jesus is black? That's something that people say.

• 50:58Andrew Santino?

  They do, yeah.

• 50:59Speaker 05

  I wonder if that's the first time that happened, you know? Where the baby came out black?

• 51:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh yeah.

• 51:05Speaker 05

  And then just, "What the fuck is this?"

• 51:07Andrew Santino?

  Mary?

• 51:08Speaker 05

  Mary?

• 51:09Andrew Santino?

  What have you been doing?

• 51:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, like, "No, it's God." I swear, it's just God.

• 51:13Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 51:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you've been traveling a lot, Mary.

• 51:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:20Andrew Santino?

  To Sub-Saharan Africa pretty often. I don't really like it when you go on those long trips down south.

• 51:28Andrew Santino?

  Mary's been going to that, uh, sporting event a lot recently. What's been going on over there? That is a great joke, though.

• 51:37Speaker 05

  No, I don't-

• 51:37Andrew Santino?

  Jesus was black-ish, blackish, on ABC. Do the plug now, run the ad. Um, no, I think, uh-

• 51:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, virgin is what a bad weird lie. That was my problem with churches. When I was a kid, I wanted out because everything they told me, I was like, what are you talking about?

• 51:54Speaker 05

  I had a lot of questions.

• 51:54Andrew Santino?

  She got pregnant and she never had sex?

• 51:56Speaker 05

  Do you know how much that freaked me out when I was a kid?

• 51:59Andrew Santino?

  That you could, it could actually happen?

• 52:00Speaker 05

  It could happen to me, yeah. You know, and kids think they're like special. And so I thought like, oh my God, what if God picks me? I'm a pretty cool girl, you know? I don't do anything bad. I'm always nice.

• 52:12Andrew Santino?

  That was the prerequisite, by the way.

• 52:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, no, I never got my name on the board in school. You know, the bad kids got their name on the board.

• 52:18Andrew Santino?

  I don't know anything about it.

• 52:20Speaker 05

  Okay, well, bad kids, when they talked in class would get their name on the board and then they get like tallies. And I never got my name on the board. I was such a good kid. And so I was like, maybe God will like impregnate me because I'm such a good kid.

• 52:32Andrew Santino?

  You're pregnant now, no tallies.

• 52:34Speaker 05

  Exactly. I had no idea. By the way, no one ever told me about getting a period either.

• 52:39Andrew Santino?

  Your mother never had the conversation?

• 52:40Speaker 05

  No, never. Very avoiding about that.

• 52:42Andrew Santino?

  Maybe she doesn't get hers?

• 52:43Speaker 05

  No. No, she gets her period.

• 52:47Andrew Santino?

  Let me tell you about my mom's period.

• 52:49Speaker 05

  No, no, no, ask my dad. My dad avoids her like the plague when she's on her period. She always says, oh, your mom's on the rag again. That's what my dad says.

• 52:56Andrew Santino?

  That's not how he says it though.

• 52:57Speaker 05

  No, I swear. He's like, she's on the rag.

• 53:02Andrew Santino?

  Your mama, she's on the rag again. Ay, mama mia, we cannot come aside where you bleed.

• 53:08Speaker 05

  She's on the rag, Tony.

• 53:09Andrew Santino?

  You bloody bitch, she's on the rag, Tony. Mama mia. What is wrong with you, bloody lady? Hey, bloody lady? All the boys in the street, hey, bloody lady?

• 53:27Speaker 05

  No, but no one told me so. When I got my first period, you know, I was freaked out, of course. I didn't know what was happening. And I thought I was like, you know, like I still think I could maybe get, I was like, oh my God, it's a miscarriage. Oh, fuck, I lost the baby.

• 53:45Andrew Santino?

  God's gonna be even more mad at me now.

• 53:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, I was like, God, why? You gave it to me just to take it away? What's this game we're playing?

• 53:53Speaker 05

  But I swear to God, it fucked me up in the head.

• 53:55Andrew Santino?

  It did, it shook you down.

• 53:56Speaker 05

  A little bit, yeah, like, uh.

• 53:58Andrew Santino?

  But we done, the church did that though. I had a ju- my like first album, I had a joke about, it's a true story. I used to flip a coin to determine whether or not I was gonna be able to masturbate that day. Like it used to fuck me up, that when I was a teenage boy, like learning to jerk off. I would flip a coin, cuz I'd be like, God's gonna be fucking so mad at me if I jerk off. So I'd say, heads, I can do it, he's okay with it, and tails, he says no. And I'd flip it and I'd get tails, and I'd be like, best two out of three, I have to try again, he's not. I'm gotta bet against God. But that's a true story, I literally used to flip a coin cuz the guilt was weird, cuz it was like, I don't remember where I learned it, but someone was like, masturbation is like against God's will, like you are, you're poisoning, you're poisoning yourself or some, whatever the scam they told us was.

• 54:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but they said like if you do it, you're like killing, you're killing the future chances of having children. And now I can't have kids, so maybe they were right, dude. Fuck, they were right, I got rid of all my jizz too early.

• 54:55Speaker 05

  Too many heads, you just get the coin that has just heads on both sides.

• 54:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, double head coin, like from a magician shop?

• 55:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:00Andrew Santino?

  You got a double head coin in here?

• 55:02Speaker 05

  How would that make you feel not guilty, like, because you're giving yourself a fair shot, like a fifty fifty?

• 55:08Andrew Santino?

  Almost like saying like, God would make the coin go to no if he didn't want me to do it. It was also, it's not logic, it's like horny fucking.

• 55:16Speaker 05

  It's like the magic conch shell in SpongeBob.

• 55:19Andrew Santino?

  I don't know it, but I bet that's right.

• 55:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:21Andrew Santino?

  What is that? What is the magic conch shell? He speaks into it?

• 55:24Speaker 05

  He, just like they ask it questions, and if this, if the conch says yes, then they do it, and if it says no.

• 55:29Andrew Santino?

  That was my little magic conch.

• 55:31Speaker 05

  That was, you had the magic.

• 55:33Andrew Santino?

  It's a magic eight ball, oh, that's pretty cool.

• 55:35Speaker 05

  God, can I jerk off today? God says no.

• 55:38Andrew Santino?

  It's literally what I would do, I'd go, fuck, he said no.

• 55:41Speaker 05

  Are you sure, God?

• 55:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. No, come on dude, maybe? But just, no one's home. Nobody's home, Lord, please. And then finally I get it, I'd be like, alright, he's on my team.

• 55:51Speaker 05

  I didn't even know that you could, um.

• 55:53Andrew Santino?

  Flip a coin?

• 55:54Speaker 05

  No, masturbate, like I didn't know about it.

• 55:56Andrew Santino?

  That, that I could masturbate?

• 55:57Speaker 05

  No, I didn't know girls could masturb- I knew guys, I, I, yeah, I didn't know you could.

• 56:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 56:02Speaker 05

  Either.

• 56:02Andrew Santino?

  I can't. Barely.

• 56:06Andrew Santino?

  The blood flow's different these days, kiddo.

• 56:08Speaker 05

  I bet you're great at it. That's a weird thing to. No, I'm sure. Don't give yourself more credit than that, you know?

• 56:16Andrew Santino?

  Ah, shucks.

• 56:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:17Andrew Santino?

  Thanks.

• 56:17Speaker 05

  Yeah. Is that your thing? Your thing you do for fun?

• 56:20Andrew Santino?

  Is jerking off?

• 56:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:22Andrew Santino?

  Uh, it's a thing that we all do. Yeah, we all do it.

• 56:26Speaker 00

  Need fast hydration for the summer heat? Hydrate your winds with the new Liquid IV Sugar-Free Ring Pop Cherry. It's the classic cherry ring pop flavor you grew up loving. Reimagined as a zero-sugar hydration mix that's clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're spending the day in the heat, recovering after a workout, or just looking for an easy afternoon pick-me-up, Liquid IV makes hydration simple and delicious. Shop LiquidIV.com. Save with their Buy 3, Get 1 Free offer, and use promo code POD26. That's P-O-D-2-6.

• 57:01Andrew Santino?

  You didn't know you could? You thought you were not supposed to?

• 57:03Speaker 05

  No, no, I just didn't know girls masturbated too. I thought that was a guy thing.

• 57:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 57:09Speaker 05

  I didn't know about it. And then, and then, on accident.

• 57:13Andrew Santino?

  You masturbated on accident?

• 57:15Speaker 05

  On accident. Like, like I...

• 57:17Andrew Santino?

  Pillow?

• 57:17Speaker 05

  No, no, no. It wasn't, it wasn't intentional, though. It was like, uh...

• 57:24Speaker 05

  I was in bed and I was like, reading, and I think I was just like shifting around or something. And then I had like an orgasm, and it just happened, and I felt... I was like, what the fuck was that? What did I just do?

• 57:38Andrew Santino?

  What was the book?

• 57:39Speaker 05

  Um, I don't know. It was...

• 57:43Speaker 05

  Mein Kampf. I'm just kidding.

• 57:45Andrew Santino?

  I was giving you a setup, dude. I was like, go for it. What's the book?

• 57:48Speaker 05

  I wish I said something else.

• 57:49Andrew Santino?

  No, Mein Kampf was right.

• 57:50Speaker 05

  Mein Kampf was okay. It was...

• 57:51Andrew Santino?

  You were shifting around and you had an orgasm, and it was the first time when you're reading in bed?

• 57:55Speaker 05

  I didn't know. I didn't know that, that, it felt like, like I... But good? Like, yeah, like an orgasm, yeah. But I never, I didn't know that, but then I figured later.

• 58:04Andrew Santino?

  Did you feel bad about it or something?

• 58:06Speaker 05

  No, I was just like, whoa, what was that? And I've been chasing that ever since, kind of.

• 58:12Andrew Santino?

  You gotta get you that book again.

• 58:13Speaker 05

  It's never been, like, quite like that.

• 58:15Andrew Santino?

  So who did you talk to then? Your sister? Sisters?

• 58:17Speaker 05

  No, no, I just, uh, I took note of it, and I was like, oh. And then when, um, you know, you know, I, I had a more intentional one. Oh, that's what that was.

• 58:28Andrew Santino?

  There it is.

• 58:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:29Andrew Santino?

  You said that right as you come. There it is.

• 58:31Speaker 05

  Like, oh.

• 58:32Andrew Santino?

  What, is she looking for something all the time? There it is.

• 58:35Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, that, yeah, but kind of, because... Nothing was like that.

• 58:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I never felt like that for, right, that first time?

• 58:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:44Andrew Santino?

  I had an, I had an associate, like a Pavlovian association with,

• 58:50Andrew Santino?

  the song, "The Heat Is On" was in Beverly Hills Cop.

• 58:56Andrew Santino?

  And that song would like ro- rope through my head when I was jerking off. Isn't that crazy when I'm jerking off? Because one of the first times I jerked off, that was playing in the background when I was in my, in my mom's basement. So "The Heat Is On" was like in my head. So what I would be jerking off is like, "The heat is..." And it, so, it would like loop in my brain. And now to this day, if you play Beverly Hills Cop, wherever I am, I have to stop and drop and jerk off. Yeah, I have to come.

• 59:20Speaker 05

  You don't even need to jerk off, it just...

• 59:22Andrew Santino?

  I just come immediately. It is very, it was very weird that that like stuck in my head as a kid. But also, uh, when you're like finding out about yourself as a young teenage person, you, I think the reason the coin thing or the guilt stuff or like the shifting around in bed and finding it out is because you think whatever it is is wrong. For some reason, someone was like, "That's not right."

• 59:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:46Andrew Santino?

  And then so it like lays in your brain and you're like, "I guess I'm bad. Am I bad?"

• 59:49Speaker 05

  Well, you know, it makes you feel like guilty, like you get all, they call this guilt. You, you're Catholic too?

• 59:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we were, we were, yeah.

• 59:57Speaker 05

  I just, you just feel guilty. You're like, "Oh, this is wrong. I shouldn't be..." You know, like after you, you masturbate, um, and then you're just like, "Ah." I mean, I've gotten over it now, but like, and in the moment you feel, "Okay," but then afterwards, you're like, "Ah."

• 1:00:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it feels like a bum, it feels like you bum, yeah, you're bummed out.

• 1:00:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, you did something bad, you know?

• 1:00:17Andrew Santino?

  Ah, clean this up.

• 1:00:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:20Andrew Santino?

  But it's not bad.

• 1:00:22Speaker 05

  It's, I, people say it's healthy.

• 1:00:25Andrew Santino?

  Depends on who you ask.

• 1:00:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:27Andrew Santino?

  Depends on who you ask, you know?

• 1:00:29Speaker 05

  Yeah. It depends. Like if you ask a priest, they're like, no, it's not healthy.

• 1:00:35Andrew Santino?

  They gotta do it. They're not allowed to, I mean, yeah, I mean.

• 1:00:38Speaker 05

  They have their ways.

• 1:00:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they really do. They really found a loophole.

• 1:00:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:43Andrew Santino?

  Those are bad boys.

• 1:00:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:45Andrew Santino?

  I'm glad I was never, uh, in the church at that age. I was never like a young.

• 1:00:49Speaker 05

  They wouldn't have touched ya.

• 1:00:50Andrew Santino?

  That's what I thought.

• 1:00:51Speaker 05

  It would have been like, it's the devil. Look at that hair.

• 1:00:54Andrew Santino?

  No, they could have tried to fix me.

• 1:00:56Speaker 05

  Oh, you think so?

• 1:00:59Speaker 05

  You'd be the bad boy.

• 1:01:00Andrew Santino?

  Get over here, you little bad devil boy.

• 1:01:03Speaker 05

  Actually, yeah, maybe. It would have been like hot.

• 1:01:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:06Speaker 05

  I mean, in a, you know, in a kidding way.

• 1:01:08Andrew Santino?

  Am I priest hot?

• 1:01:09Speaker 05

  I think you're priest hot, yeah.

• 1:01:10Andrew Santino?

  Hot for the priest?

• 1:01:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, they're like, wow, we can't, we can't get him to shut up. He's gonna tell people immediately.

• 1:01:16Andrew Santino?

  That's a hundred percent. I wouldn't shut the fuck up as a kid.

• 1:01:18Speaker 05

  Even though confession, it's like you're not, it's a sin if you tell anyone what happened in here.

• 1:01:23Andrew Santino?

  Except for me.

• 1:01:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm the only one that gets to know. Also, why are confessional booths like glory holes? That's what they.

• 1:01:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they really are.

• 1:01:32Speaker 05

  What's going on?

• 1:01:33Andrew Santino?

  Put your hand through that hole and shake my hand. No, what's, what's in there? I never, that, that, the confession, all that stuff always tripped me out. I never, we never were in the church in that degree, so I never really got to like feel the sadness of how weird it is to tell someone all the bad things that you did.

• 1:01:49Speaker 05

  Oh, man.

• 1:01:50Andrew Santino?

  You had to do it, huh?

• 1:01:50Speaker 05

  I was so anxious every time. I was like, the priest is gonna judge me so hard. And I didn't even do anything that bad. I had to make things up sometimes because.

• 1:01:59Andrew Santino?

  You'd make up bad shit?

• 1:02:00Speaker 05

  Sometimes I'm like, I have nothing. I got nothing. I lied to my mom, maybe? And then I get in my head like, I don't know, I'm kind of nuts. I was always nuts. Ever since I was a little girl, I've always been nuts.

• 1:02:10Andrew Santino?

  You're not nuts now.

• 1:02:11Speaker 05

  I'm a little nuts.

• 1:02:12Andrew Santino?

  Are you really?

• 1:02:13Speaker 05

  I feel like I have OCD or something, or like, see, I don't know. I haven't gotten diagnosed for anything. I don't.

• 1:02:18Andrew Santino?

  Well, don't go get diagnosed.

• 1:02:20Speaker 05

  No, it doesn't matter. It'll be like, uh, you know, the cat in the box, I'm gonna pronounce it wrong, sh- shirts.

• 1:02:27Andrew Santino?

  The Cheshire Cat?

• 1:02:27Speaker 05

  No, no, the, what's it called? The cat that's in the box and you don't know if the cat's dead or alive? Schrodinger. I never know how to say that word. It'll be like Schrodinger, um, OCD or autism or whatever it is that's going on. That way you don't know if I have it or not, because then I'd have it and then what? That's my identity? Then I'm, now I'm just a little odd. That's okay.

• 1:02:47Andrew Santino?

  You're not odd. I don't think you're odd. Stop projecting that. You're not odd. You're nice, you're funny, you're cool.

• 1:02:53Speaker 05

  Thanks.

• 1:02:53Andrew Santino?

  You got the whole world on your shoulders.

• 1:02:55Speaker 05

  Wow, thank you.

• 1:02:56Andrew Santino?

  Lot of pressure. But just do your thing.

• 1:02:59Speaker 05

  No, no, I mean, I'm not saying it like. This is, this is fun, you know, like when I'm not anxious, it's fun. It's a great time.

• 1:03:06Andrew Santino?

  Have you leveled out some of your anxiety on this show? Has it, has this show made you more nervous? Was it, was this easy to do or hard?

• 1:03:12Speaker 05

  Oh, uh, I don't know.

• 1:03:13Andrew Santino?

  I hope this was easy.

• 1:03:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, I feel like I'm a little like more anxious today for some reason, maybe I'm, I don't know.

• 1:03:20Andrew Santino?

  Were you nervous to do the show? Cause we've never met before.

• 1:03:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, a little bit, but like your vibe is really nice and cool, like you're making me feel at ease, I think I'm just.

• 1:03:28Andrew Santino?

  Win.

• 1:03:29Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 1:03:30Andrew Santino?

  I said it's a win.

• 1:03:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:31Andrew Santino?

  It's a win for us both.

• 1:03:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, I was worried that you were gonna be mean.

• 1:03:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, you started off on a bad foot.

• 1:03:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know, I know.

• 1:03:37Andrew Santino?

  I was gonna beat you up.

• 1:03:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:39Andrew Santino?

  I was gonna fucking give you an old sockeroo. No, I knew you'd be late.

• 1:03:43Speaker 05

  You did?

• 1:03:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I had a feeling you'd be late.

• 1:03:45Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:03:46Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes I can, I've, I tell him, I go, they'll be late, sometimes I can tell who will be late.

• 1:03:49Speaker 05

  Wow, really?

• 1:03:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:51Speaker 05

  What about me that gave like, oh.

• 1:03:53Andrew Santino?

  I might be late?

• 1:03:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:54Andrew Santino?

  Like the anxious jittery jumpiness, you're either gonna be early or late, you're never gonna be on time.

• 1:03:58Speaker 05

  That's so true, because I almost left at eleven and then I was like, ah, that's weird, I'm gonna show up like thirty minutes early. And then the elevator got me and then I was late.

• 1:04:08Andrew Santino?

  It'll get ya.

• 1:04:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, then it was like.

• 1:04:10Andrew Santino?

  Intercontinental hotels, the elevator will get ya. You gotta be careful out there, kids.

• 1:04:16Andrew Santino?

  Well, continued success to you for real, I think you're very funny and you and, uh, Edgberg Hershner.

• 1:04:22Speaker 05

  Rich Hershberger.

• 1:04:24Andrew Santino?

  Rich Gershgerger, uh, I hope the tour is gonna be fun.

• 1:04:27Speaker 05

  Thanks, yeah.

• 1:04:27Andrew Santino?

  You have dates all over the place.

• 1:04:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:29Andrew Santino?

  Um, what's your website, plug your website.

• 1:04:32Speaker 05

  Oh, okay, Christina Mariani dot com.

• 1:04:34Andrew Santino?

  Christina Mariani dot com, um, she has all of her dates up there, go see her, if you're in Austin, she'll be at the mothership pretty often when you're in town, right? You're always there.

• 1:04:44Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, I'm at the mothership whenever.

• 1:04:46Andrew Santino?

  That's your home, that's your club?

• 1:04:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:04:47Andrew Santino?

  It's a pretty great home, home club.

• 1:04:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:49Andrew Santino?

  Is Joe nice to ya?

• 1:04:50Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, Joe's great, everybody's great.

• 1:04:52Andrew Santino?

  I texted him, I asked him about ya.

• 1:04:54Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 1:04:54Andrew Santino?

  I said, what do you think of her? He goes, not, not aware of who that is.

• 1:04:58Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 1:04:58Andrew Santino?

  I said, she's at the club pretty often and I sent a photo of you from a mothership post. And he wrote, not a fan.

• 1:05:05Speaker 05

  Oh, well.

• 1:05:07Andrew Santino?

  And then I was like, really dude, I feel like she's there a lot and he said, not interested in continuing to support her comedy career.

• 1:05:13Speaker 05

  I probably made him feel awkward. Somebody told me that whenever I think I'm being awkward, that really they're probably blaming themselves. So that made me feel a little bit better, like in a fucked up like way, kind of. Like, yeah, this guy was like, no, I leave interactions with you thinking that I make that that weird. And I know it's me, you know, but then it's kind of nice where I'm like, oh, he's probably blaming himself right now. He thinks he made that weird, but really it's me.

• 1:05:37Andrew Santino?

  It's you, yeah.

• 1:05:39Speaker 05

  So that's kind of nice. So hopefully you blame yourself after this.

• 1:05:45Andrew Santino?

  No, I'm never gonna think about this ever again.

• 1:05:46Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:05:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:49Andrew Santino?

  No, you're at the mothership killing it all the time. I do see clips of them posting you. I'll be down there. I'm gonna come, I'll come say hi when I'm down there.

• 1:05:54Speaker 05

  Oh, cool, yeah.

• 1:05:55Andrew Santino?

  We'll get stoned.

• 1:05:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, when are you coming?

• 1:05:58Andrew Santino?

  I come down in September, at the end of the month, right? I go down to twenty something, twenty-two, twenty-one, twenty-two, something like that.

• 1:06:04Speaker 05

  Oh, cool.

• 1:06:04Andrew Santino?

  Are you in town? No, you're probably on the road.

• 1:06:07Speaker 05

  No, I, I'm gonna be in town.

• 1:06:08Andrew Santino?

  Okay. We'll get high, I'll hold you to it.

• 1:06:10Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:06:11Andrew Santino?

  And then we'll go to a spot. Do you get, do you get high and go to a spot, or no?

• 1:06:13Speaker 05

  Sometimes, yeah.

• 1:06:14Andrew Santino?

  I like to get high and do a spot.

• 1:06:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, me too. That, it, it makes me calm down a little bit more. A lot of times I want to say something and then I overthink it. Like, I'll be in my head and then I, I don't, I don't say it, because, you know, the voice, the, the judges, the censors inside your brain are just like, no, no, don't say that. And then when I'm high, they kind of are also high, they're like, well, let her do it.

• 1:06:33Andrew Santino?

  Nah, fuck it, dude. Say it, say mind comp, who cares? Go see her, Christina Mariani, go to cristinamariani.com, go see her if you're around Austin at the mothership. Continue to kill it, continue success. You're very funny, so I hope your career only keeps going. And you seem like a good human being.

• 1:06:48Speaker 05

  Thanks, you do.

• 1:06:49Andrew Santino?

  Shout out to Stockton, California. The greatest, uh, living comic from Stockton, California, Christina Mariani. We end the show the same way. Look into that camera, say one word or one phrase to end the episode. One word or a phrase, if you have, want to impart wisdom, or you just want to say one word, it's your call.

• 1:07:09Speaker 05

  Now it's waited too long. Now it's like too much of a buildup. Fuck, is that gonna be good? Ginger.