Soda for Breakfast!? w/ Stavros Halkias

Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Stavros Halkias! You know Stavvy from stand up comedy, Stavvy's World, This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von, Hot Ones, So True with Caleb Hearon, Bad Friends, The Tim Dillon Show, Soder Podcast, Your Mom's House, Mythical Kitchen and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Lucy Goods: http://lucy.co/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage Aura Frames: Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/GARBAGE. Promo Code GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Hey gang, we have a big celebration this weekend in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, our hometown. We want to say thank you and we love you.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's our biggest show we've ever done. It's going to be at the Met in Philadelphia. Tickets still available at areyougarbage.com. Grab the homies, grab the bozos, we love you.

• 0:16Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:35H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:41Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:41H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they're good to be classy.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:46H. Foley?

  But they're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:48H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in the new addition. She just ran off to hot yoga. Wearing jeans.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  Good for her.

• 0:58H. Foley?

  To go to yoga.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  I got you.

• 1:00H. Foley?

  Whoa, that's not what people wear for yoga. Holy. That's the joke.

• 1:05Speaker 01

  I don't think it is.

• 1:05H. Foley?

  Nothing on that? My co-host is coming at you very judgmentally right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He's the international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world and I love him. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  Well, what up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify, baby.

• 1:25H. Foley?

  Hey, Don, in the charts.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  And then, obviously, the greatest website of all time. Don't got to tell nobody in this room. WWW.PATRIOT.COM/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang. And then this Saturday, we're at the frickin' Met in Philadelphia.

• 1:36H. Foley?

  Come see the boys.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  Come hang with the boys. It's a Philly celebration.

• 1:40H. Foley?

  Back on the block, baby. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. He's our brother from another mother.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:48H. Foley?

  The pride of Baltimore.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50H. Foley?

  The host of Stavi's World, one of the stars of the hit film Begonia.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:54H. Foley?

  Kids working, kids Hollywood. One of the stars.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  Quote, unquote.

• 2:01H. Foley?

  Well, my mother saw it, she audibly yelled in the theater, "My son knows that guy." She was thrown out immediately.

• 2:08H. Foley?

  He's gonna be up in Boston this weekend doing four shows.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  They weren't showing that film wherever the fuck you have movie theaters. They were showing fucking Zootopia on eight screens.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  No, she was at a European, she was at a European film festival.

• 2:19H. Foley?

  She was at Cannes with you.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  They're re-showing every Fast and the Furious movie at whatever fucking theater.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  She's camped out.

• 2:26H. Foley?

  My mom got caught bootlegging at the Venice Film Festival.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  That's the only reason, your mom's at a fucking arthouse movie. It's fucking got a camcorder like this.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  A camcorder under a trench coat.

• 2:37H. Foley?

  Coughing.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  Just shoot the thing so I can get it out on the streets.

• 2:42H. Foley?

  He's gonna be up at the Wilbur in Boston this weekend, doing four shows.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 2:46H. Foley?

  He's gonna be hitting the road hard, January and February.

• 2:49Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 2:50H. Foley?

  Get your tickets.

• 2:51Speaker 03

  Stavie Dot Biz, we're going all over the place, Florida, the Midwest, whatever, put it up.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  That's all over the place, gang.

• 2:57Speaker 03

  Florida, the Midwest, where the fuck else were we going?

• 3:00Speaker 01

  Run it. Hey, new guy Luke, run the thing.

• 3:03H. Foley?

  Ladies and gentlemen, the pride of Baltimore.

• 3:04Speaker 03

  Oh, Radio City, that's the big one.

• 3:05H. Foley?

  Whoa, what the fuck, you didn't tell us that?

• 3:08Speaker 03

  Radio City in March.

• 3:09H. Foley?

  What?

• 3:09Speaker 03

  Let's move some tickets. We'll be fine. I didn't, I didn't bite off more than I could chew, that's for sure.

• 3:14H. Foley?

  Nah, it's gonna be great.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  Neither did we, that's the Met in Philadelphia this weekend. The whole industry's down.

• 3:20H. Foley?

  You're doing radios. Ladies and gentlemen, the pride of Baltimore, Stavros Kalkas.

• 3:25Speaker 03

  Thank you, great to be back, fellas.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  Thank you for coming.

• 3:27Speaker 03

  Great to be back. My favorite podcast to do.

• 3:31H. Foley?

  Bit of a bone to pick with you.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  Oh, please.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Oh god, okay. A big one, the bigger one's going down.

• 3:36H. Foley?

  I keep coughing up food, I keep, is it asphyxiated, what's it called? Where you asphyxiate, where food goes down the, the windpipe?

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Asphyxiate.

• 3:44H. Foley?

  You never had that?

• 3:45Speaker 03

  That's just choking. Asphyxiation is choke, is a set in for choking.

• 3:49H. Foley?

  Assimilation?

• 3:49Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 3:51H. Foley?

  Asterix. I keep getting little pieces of food go down my windpipe and I cough it up. Everybody looks at me like I'm fucking nuts.

• 3:57Speaker 03

  I love how you're like, there's some medical explanation, not, you're eating too fucking fast.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  Aspiration.

• 4:06H. Foley?

  Aspiration.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  Is that right?

• 4:08H. Foley?

  I aspire to not choke on my own food.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  One day, hopefully.

• 4:14Speaker 03

  You know what? That is a better goal for you than the Met.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  Don't choke on a hoagie.

• 4:21H. Foley?

  Get out of this chair and walk again. Listen, I didn't tell Kippy that rude comment that you threw at me in the text message, but he's gonna be very upset about this.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  Oh, please.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Well, I...

• 4:31Speaker 03

  Let's get, you know what?

• 4:31Speaker 01

  The Palm.

• 4:32Speaker 03

  Let's get back in here. I'd love for this conversation to span two separate podcasts.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  That went pretty, I mean, that was very divisive.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  That was very divisive.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  No, it wasn't.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was. We almost got a deal with the Philadelphia airport. They wanted a couple of hot guys to come in and talk about showing up early and getting meals.

• 4:49H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  I scuttled that for you?

• 4:52Speaker 01

  You did. You did. You screwed us.

• 4:54H. Foley?

  It cost us $1,500 in chicken Pete's money.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  That's good for food or the arcade game.

• 5:02H. Foley?

  Anyway.

• 5:03Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 5:04H. Foley?

  Tony, it's in there.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  What do we have for lunch? Oh, man, that's brutal.

• 5:09H. Foley?

  I had a niaboo.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  A niaboo.

• 5:10H. Foley?

  With some harissa, which I can't do the hot stuff.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  Again, that's...

• 5:14H. Foley?

  I gotta pay it hard. It's bad enough.

• 5:21H. Foley?

  God damn it.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  Jesus fucking Christ.

• 5:23H. Foley?

  It's bad enough you give a shit about going to the Palm to go gun...

• 5:26Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 5:27H. Foley?

  What Stavros wrote, you giving a shit that we go to the airport early to break?

• 5:30Speaker 03

  It's insane. And by the way, I do, you caught me so off guard that I didn't have my actual answer to what I used to do.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  Is this why Aldous is sitting in on this?

• 5:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  He pulls out legal pads.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  Aldous is here with a separate recording device, just in case you try and doctor this conversation in your favor.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  Gary Vee did that, by the way. Gary Vee came in and recorded it on his own, and now he's releasing clips without us.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  We're not miked, and we're just fuzzy, like muted voices.

• 5:56H. Foley?

  I'd say become a millionaire right there.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  That's all about the grindset, stealing content you're on.

• 6:01H. Foley?

  For sure.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  Stealing content you agreed to do.

• 6:03H. Foley?

  I think he changed the background. It's just like flames behind him, too.

• 6:08H. Foley?

  God love him.

• 6:08Speaker 03

  Fuck, respect, dude. That's insane.

• 6:10H. Foley?

  When we were heading down to Charlotte last week, I sent, we got to the Palm as gentlemen as we do. We ordered our breakfast.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  Charlotte, a four, what, an hour, 40 minute flight?

• 6:19Speaker 01

  You gotta have your strength.

• 6:20H. Foley?

  First class, baby.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, first class.

• 6:23H. Foley?

  We bumped everybody up.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Flew the whole team down first class. There was no one in the back.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:28H. Foley?

  No movies, nothing like that. It was brutal.

• 6:32H. Foley?

  So I sent Stavvy a picture. He gets back to me and he says, "Are you dirtbags all drinking Diet Coke?"

• 6:37Speaker 03

  What? What was that, 9 a.m. You're drinking Diet Coke?

• 6:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, 9 a.m.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  What the fuck is wrong with you?

• 6:42Speaker 01

  I listen to-

• 6:42H. Foley?

  You're a Greek kid. You don't like having a Diet Coke-

• 6:45Speaker 03

  It's the morning, you fucking piece of- have coffee. The ones-

• 6:47H. Foley?

  We had coffee.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  You gotta get the holy trinity. You gotta get a water, a Diet Coke, but there they serve Pepsi. Shout out to the palm, Pepsi's product. And then, and then a large black coffee.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  I do all three. Anytime I go to breakfast, I'll-

• 6:59Speaker 03

  A black coffee?

• 7:00Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:01Speaker 03

  Even though you're having an indulgent breakfast, you won't throw a little cream in there?

• 7:04Speaker 01

  It's not too indulgent. Now that goes right to your hips.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:06H. Foley?

  I do a splash of cream. You do a splash of cream in your coffee?

• 7:08Speaker 03

  If I'm having- I, I like to start my day with a black coffee. And it kinda like, you know, I can fucking just, I, I don't, I'm trying not to eat. I'm just, you know, fat guys are desperate when they trying you diet every fucking four, you're like, maybe fasting is the one.

• 7:21H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 7:21Speaker 03

  So I'm kind of on that right now.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  I've done-

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Soon I'll be low carb. Once this does, once this fails, I'll cycle to low carb. But currently I'm on fasting, so I have a little black coffee and I, you know-

• 7:29Speaker 01

  I've changed mid-meal, where I've gone- I've gone, I'm-

• 7:33H. Foley?

  All carbs.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  I go, I'm doing paleo. And then I'll do a little toast and I'll go, "You know what? We'll do intermittent today." I'll eat for the next day out.

• 7:42Speaker 03

  This is now my fasting window. Yeah.

• 7:43H. Foley?

  I'm so glad you brought that up. Put a pin in toast for a second. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta big fucking beef with toast.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Uh-oh. Wow.

• 7:51H. Foley?

  You're a Greek kid. You like a diner. You like a breakfast. You don't like a diet, so, the Diet Pepsi?

• 7:57Speaker 03

  For breakfast?

• 7:58Speaker 01

  It's crazy. It's crazy. It's refreshing. It's crazy.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  No, it's not.

• 8:00H. Foley?

  You get the caffeine, you quench your thirst, it's refreshing.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  You have coffee.

• 8:04H. Foley?

  And the palm does a Diet Pepsi.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  Eggs? You're washing down fucking scrambled eggs with Diet Coke? The fuck is wrong with you?

• 8:09H. Foley?

  I had an omelet, sir.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  Okay, alright.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  Hey, that's not scrambled eggs.

• 8:13H. Foley?

  I did a mushroom cheddar.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  It comes, you cough it up full?

• 8:17Speaker 01

  It's the lens.

• 8:18H. Foley?

  It's gotta split down like that Japanese omelet. Opens up, sucks my face.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  Um, disgusting. It's fucking disgusting.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  I don't disagree.

• 8:26Speaker 03

  You're having breakfast, have a fucking coffee. Everything you guys are doing is against the laws of nature here. With the like, with the-

• 8:33Speaker 01

  That's the AYG way, gang.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  With the airport breakfast. I mean, again, unnatural to plan-

• 8:38Speaker 01

  Well, I didn't put the restaurant there. I hate that. I hate that, where you go- There's, sir, every place there serves breakfast. PF Chang serves breakfast.

• 8:45Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  This is an unnatural-

• 8:46Speaker 03

  You know what?

• 8:47H. Foley?

  This is a both natural thing. They don't, they don't serve breakfast.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  You know what, here's what I'll say.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  Shut up.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  I would rather, I would rather you go, cause that's the one piece of- What interesting happens at breakfast at an airport is, yeah, what the fuck does PF Chang serve for breakfast?

• 9:00H. Foley?

  They serve-

• 9:01Speaker 03

  What does the cheesesteak place serve for breakfast?

• 9:03H. Foley?

  They saute what they serve, cause we've had breakfast at PF Chang's. They serve orange chicken.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  With a side of hash-

• 9:10H. Foley?

  Am I right? Didn't we eat breakfast in that wa-

• 9:12Speaker 01

  It's like a modified, it's a little bit of, it's a little bit of breakfast.

• 9:15H. Foley?

  There's no eggs.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Mostly lunch.

• 9:16H. Foley?

  You're not getting granola, I can tell you that.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  No eggs, that's fine. Look, I, I'm, I'm interested in some kind of like, yeah. I'll take some fuck, uh, an omelet with some fucking Beijing beef or whatever the fuck they have. That's it. Give me whatever the fuck they got. Like, I, I stopped at a, I was at a, at an airport and I had some kind of weird breakfast hoagie at a cheesesteak place. That was great. You know what I mean? Now, I am, I am having-

• 9:37H. Foley?

  Stobby's got what I got now.

• 9:38Speaker 03

  That's in a, I've caught it. It's airborne.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  It's gonna transfer to me now. Oh my god, I've caught fat ass. Lock the doors.

• 9:45Speaker 03

  Sympathetic fat guy burps.

• 9:47H. Foley?

  Cough of a breakfast hoagie?

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Oh, there it is.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  It's like when someone yawns, you get it?

• 9:53Speaker 03

  Fat guys do that with burps and diarrhea.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  I got gird.

• 9:57H. Foley?

  We cycle up like two women when they get their diarrhea together?

• 10:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:01H. Foley?

  Man, I got heartburn real bad.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  The fat guy's cycle is just diarrhea. Yeah.

• 10:05H. Foley?

  We're going up to each other privately like, "Do you have a Nexium on you?" "Of course I do, I keep one in my purse."

• 10:11Speaker 01

  Do you have any Preparation H? Shaw, be in the bathroom.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Do you have the to-go wipes?

• 10:15Speaker 01

  The tux?

• 10:16H. Foley?

  I don't get that. I don't get the hemorrhoids.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  Ah, that's just great.

• 10:19H. Foley?

  You get roids?

• 10:20Speaker 03

  You're, of all the people on earth, I would be willing to bet-

• 10:22H. Foley?

  No.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  You would, wow.

• 10:24H. Foley?

  That would freak me out. I don't like them.

• 10:25Speaker 03

  Really? You've never had hole pain whatsoever?

• 10:27H. Foley?

  No, never had hole-

• 10:27Speaker 01

  I roll with them pretty much exclusively.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  Right, right, right. Yeah, well-

• 10:31H. Foley?

  I've had it itchy before.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  You've had it itchy?

• 10:33H. Foley?

  But I take care of that.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  Warning sign.

• 10:34H. Foley?

  Homeopathic way.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  That's a set of worms or you got right there.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're probably, that's probably, probably worms. But, I don't, I just think, uh, the coke is cra- like, it's just-

• 10:42Speaker 01

  I don't disagree.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Carbonated before 11 a.m. I can't do.

• 10:45H. Foley?

  A kid from diner culture.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  I'm just Greek, by the way.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  You dirty diner guys.

• 10:51Speaker 03

  Diner culture. That's the, that's what.

• 10:53H. Foley?

  Like you were born in a bus straight?

• 10:54Speaker 03

  People, not ancient Greece, not the Olympics. He says he's just diner culture and you're not wrong.

• 11:00H. Foley?

  I don't give you credit for the Parthenon, what are you talking about?

• 11:05Speaker 03

  Uh, no, I don't think Coke, I don't think Coke with breakfast is fucking, is the way to go. That's ridiculous.

• 11:10H. Foley?

  I'll give you.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  And by the way, here's what you do, and I thought about this, cause I was like, what did I? I'm not, I don't wanna sit here and put on airs, pretend I'm better than these fucking pieces of shit.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  What?

• 11:19Speaker 03

  That I haven't been at my lower than you are now. What, when I was in the grips of food addiction? What would I do? And this is exactly what I would do. I would go to a sandwich shop in Astoria, get a hoagie to go, put it in my bag.

• 11:35Speaker 01

  You rat fink.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  And eat that.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  Cause that's a good fucking breakfast, that's an actually good breakfast.

• 11:40Speaker 01

  That's trashier and fatter than anything.

• 11:42H. Foley?

  Take it back to the house?

• 11:42Speaker 01

  No, take it to the airport.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  To the airport, on my wedding airport.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  He's putting that shit through the security.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  I'm, I got my fucking, I got my carry on rolling, I got the wheels touching, touching plain fucking sidewalk.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  You got the hoagie in a stainless steel fucking.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. The nuclear football, yeah, yeah, I have a hand up to myself. And what I would do very oftentimes, eat half, right there, then and there.

• 12:03Speaker 01

  At the deli?

• 12:04Speaker 03

  At wherever, deli, on, you know, maybe it's a nice day, maybe I sit on a park bench. I'm taking in the sights and the sounds.

• 12:10H. Foley?

  Before you go to the airport?

• 12:11Speaker 03

  Yes. If it's, if it's like a, if it's like a 1pm flight, well, would I rather spend it in fucking, at the Palm? Or would I rather have an actual good fucking meal?

• 12:19H. Foley?

  How much of a CIA meetup does that look like? You sitting there eating a hoagie with luggage next to you? Is some guy in a, in a trench coat and a hat sitting next to you?

• 12:27Speaker 03

  Opens up a newspaper, he's like, is that pastrami? How much, is that garlic mayo or regular mayo?

• 12:33H. Foley?

  There's an X on your suitcase? Is that a Sal Christian Charlie's that you're, that you're talking about?

• 12:37Speaker 03

  I would go to, um, uh, fuck, what's the place where I bought, the place, uh?

• 12:42H. Foley?

  The Italian joint?

• 12:43Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 12:43H. Foley?

  That Timmy D likes?

• 12:44Speaker 03

  On, yes, yes, yes.

• 12:45H. Foley?

  Cerisos. Cerisos.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  Great stuff, ceri, shout out to cerisos. They have a wonderful, they have a wonderful breakfast. They put a little, specific potato in the thing, great stuff.

• 12:55H. Foley?

  So let me ask you this, you're eating on the park bench?

• 12:57Speaker 03

  That's crazy, but fucking, planning to. Eat at a shitty overpriced restaurant, that's not true.

• 13:01H. Foley?

  Are you, hold on, are you sitting in a random?

• 13:03Speaker 01

  There's nothing fatter to me than having your food x-rayed so you can eat it. That's fucking insane. And that's not just you, that's anybody.

• 13:10Speaker 03

  I have.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  You're going, run this, I'm so fat. I gotta eat this over there, run this through security.

• 13:17H. Foley?

  You put it in the x-ray machine?

• 13:18Speaker 01

  They have to.

• 13:19H. Foley?

  It turns the turkey into ham.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  Bacon with x-rays on it.

• 13:22Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 13:23Speaker 03

  I have ingested x-ray, that's a great point.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  You're in the woo woo machine?

• 13:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, in my hoodie pocket is a full sub, like, what's this, sir, we're gonna have to pat you down?

• 13:33Speaker 01

  That's crazy to me.

• 13:34Speaker 03

  To me, listen, but no, we're both being fat and indulgent.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 13:38Speaker 03

  I'm at least having a high-quality meal when I'm doing it.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  See, this is where I gotta push back, you're shitting on the palm.

• 13:43Speaker 03

  You are out of your fucking mind.

• 13:44H. Foley?

  I'll tell you the one thing I have a beef with the palm with.

• 13:46Speaker 03

  Please, here we go.

• 13:47H. Foley?

  And I want all you upscale breakfast spots.

• 13:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:51H. Foley?

  To take warning on this, okay?

• 13:54Speaker 03

  Fucking airport, he keeps talking about an airport restaurant is upscale, it's fucking insane.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  Is the palm upscale or not upscale?

• 13:58Speaker 03

  Not in the airport it's not. Is the fucking, what if it was, are the restaurants at Disney World upscale?

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, that STK, yes. Dude, go in there, go in there with a family of four, you're spending twelve hundred.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  As soon as it left my mouth, I knew I made a mistake.

• 14:10H. Foley?

  Say what you want, but you go to Goofy's, you get a nice steak up lob.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  Pull up, pull up STK Downtown Disney. You wanna see me turn out?

• 14:18H. Foley?

  What are you talking about? We got banged out in there for like a thousand bucks.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  You ate at the fucking steak restaurant at Disney?

• 14:24Speaker 01

  STK.

• 14:25H. Foley?

  It's off campus.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  It's Downtown Disney, right?

• 14:29H. Foley?

  Downtown Orlando.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  No, it's downtown, it's in Disney, it's on Disney property.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  You're fucking idiots. You're so fucking stupid. If you leave and go to a different steakhouse in Orlando, the meal costs half as much and is twice as good.

• 14:42H. Foley?

  Wait, is he talking to us?

• 14:44Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 14:44H. Foley?

  Rude, invite you to have a nice night.

• 14:46Speaker 04

  I just gotta say, four point seven stars, thirty-two thousand reviews.

• 14:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz it's fucking mouth-breathing Disney fans that go there.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  What the fuck am I?

• 14:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 14:55H. Foley?

  You don't like Space Mountain? You don't like Space Mountain?

• 14:57Speaker 01

  Buddy, I'm going, I'm going to Orlando in two weeks with my family, you're nuts if you think we're not going to STK and everyone's gonna be dressed the fuck up and we're gonna complain about how much.

• 15:05H. Foley?

  I guarantee there's a picture of you as a little kid with the fucking ears on.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  No, there's.

• 15:08H. Foley?

  There's gotta be.

• 15:09Speaker 03

  No, I wanted to go. We were too poor to go, but that's the, you know, that's part of it. I am, but also just go to a, anytime you go to a restaurant in a complex, it's worse and more expensive. That is fact. We can't argue that. There are an STK outside of Disney or an airport, a Palm outside of an airport is better. We can at least start there, right? You won't fucking sit here and look me in the eyes and tell me that they're of equivalent, of equivalent status. A restaurant outside of an airport or amusement park.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  We'll be right back.

• 15:41H. Foley?

  We turned your mic off five minutes ago.

• 15:44Speaker 03

  You will at least give me that.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  I'll.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  You will, you will give me that.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  I'll entertain the idea.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  Oh, you'll entertain it. You will not, that has to be entered into fat.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  I'll give you that. I'll give you that. Listen.

• 15:54Speaker 03

  In the fat record.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  It's well, it's well.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  I want the stenographer to fucking write that down.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  It's well documented. I call balls and strikes. I'm an honest man.

• 16:01H. Foley?

  Elvis is asleep. What are you talking about?

• 16:02Speaker 03

  Not Elvis.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  That is true.

• 16:03H. Foley?

  Can I, can I point out something that's gonna bring us together?

• 16:05Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 16:06H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, no. Nice try. I need you on the record. Is a restaurant outside of an airport or amusement park?

• 16:13Speaker 01

  He's not gonna give you this.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  Better, is it the same quality or better than a restaurant inside of an amusement park?

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Do that thing where you lie to everybody.

• 16:23H. Foley?

  Can you repeat the question?

• 16:23Speaker 03

  Are they, is a restaurant better outside of an airport or amusement park?

• 16:27H. Foley?

  The same restaurant?

• 16:27Speaker 03

  The same.

• 16:28H. Foley?

  Like, for example, the Palm. Am I gonna get the same meal, dinner?

• 16:32Speaker 03

  The same quality meal.

• 16:34H. Foley?

  At the Palm.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  At the Palm on whatever, isn't there one downtown or something over here?

• 16:38H. Foley?

  It's over there.

• 16:38Speaker 03

  One downtown here in Manhattan.

• 16:40H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:40Speaker 03

  Is that the same quality as the one in JFK?

• 16:44H. Foley?

  John F. Kennedy Airport.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 16:46H. Foley?

  Which I believe is an international airport.

• 16:48Speaker 03

  It is an international airport.

• 16:49H. Foley?

  Elvis, am I right on that? For the record, Elvis is not a yes.

• 16:53Speaker 03

  Listen, I'll give you that. It is an international airport.

• 16:55H. Foley?

  It's an international airport.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  I'm answering your question.

• 16:57H. Foley?

  One of the busiest, largest airports in the world.

• 17:00Speaker 01

  Eight terminals.

• 17:00H. Foley?

  That millions of people travel all around the world.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  Right. Yes. Is the restaurant there as good as the one outside of an airport?

• 17:09Speaker 01

  I've never been to the other one, I can't comment.

• 17:11H. Foley?

  Now, when you say outside of an airport-

• 17:13Speaker 01

  He has palm written down twice here.

• 17:15H. Foley?

  Hey, give my notes away. He don't know that.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  You were about to agree with me. You were saying balls and strikes.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Listen, I gotta agree with you. I have to agree with you.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  Let's just, let's just live in a world of truth.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  I'll agree on that, but if you think-

• 17:26H. Foley?

  I've never had dinner at the Palm at JFK, so I can't really comment, to be quite honest with you.

• 17:31Speaker 03

  Really?

• 17:31H. Foley?

  No, I've not.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  Any-

• 17:33Speaker 01

  We did land that one time and grab steaks.

• 17:36H. Foley?

  No, we didn't.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  No, I'm kidding.

• 17:39H. Foley?

  There's a hot bartender.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  Good-looking guy.

• 17:42Speaker 03

  Alright, what I look, thank you, Kevin, at least you're fucking with me here. You can at least admit-

• 17:47H. Foley?

  Yeah, flip-flopper? You gonna get me in the whip?

• 17:50Speaker 03

  He just lives in reality, Foley. But anyway, I just- I need you guys, I needed that on the record.

• 17:55H. Foley?

  Do they have a palm there?

• 17:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, they do.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  If you admit that X-Rain half a ho- half a hoagie is crazy.

• 17:59H. Foley?

  I need a hoagie on a park bench like a weirdo is.

• 18:02Speaker 03

  Okay, the park bench, no. The park's a beautiful thing to do.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  No, not when you have shit to do that day.

• 18:08H. Foley?

  Yeah, you're on your way to the airport-

• 18:09Speaker 01

  You're carrying love.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  How about setting a fucking, uh, how about setting a fucking alarm three hours early so you can eat at the fucking Palm, you idiots? Mine's right outside my fucking door, I don't go through security to eat there. Sure, is X-Rain fucking stupid? Yes. But is what you're doing more stupid than that?

• 18:23Speaker 01

  No.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  Yes! Yes, it fucking is!

• 18:26H. Foley?

  Eat the sandwich on a park bench? What are you, Paddington Bear?

• 18:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm out. What's so fucking wrong having a whimsical little fucking morning? That's how I like to start my day. You're fucking rushing, you're fucking checking, you're like, oh, are we gonna have enough time for fuck-

• 18:38H. Foley?

  We don't rush, I leave at 6 o'clock to beat the traffic.

• 18:41Speaker 01

  I did do that on my way to Charlotte, cuz I live very far from JFK.

• 18:45Speaker 03

  Are you out of your fucking minds?

• 18:47Speaker 01

  And I got there, I got there an hour before we were supposed to meet.

• 18:49Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  So I went to the Amex Lounge, hung out in there, did a little peruse and a coffee, maybe a croissant. Waited, then we hit the Palm.

• 18:56Speaker 03

  Pre-game for the Palm.

• 18:57H. Foley?

  Listen, Kevin, let's talk about Lucy.

• 18:59Speaker 01

  Shout out to Lucy, gang.

• 19:00H. Foley?

  Gang, we're talking about number one in your hearts, Lucy. Talking about Lucy Breakers, 100% pure nicotine, always tobacco-free. Lucy Breakers are nicotine pouches with a little extra surprise. Each pouch holds a capsule that can be broken open to release extra flavor, and here's the caper, little extra hydration, which is- Important when you're taking your nicotine, send yourself over to the subscription and have Lucy delivered straight to your door.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, Lucy's one of the, uh, one of the companies when they send the package to the old studio, the boys are claiming they're

• 19:32H. Foley?

  Snipping at it.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  I mean, they're, they're, they're, they're, everybody, that's the first box it gets ripped open, everybody, I want this, I want that, give me the breakers.

• 19:39H. Foley?

  Christmas morning.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  I mean, it's, it's crazy. The boys are loving it. Um, right now, uh, let's level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to lucy.co/garbage. Use the promo code garbage to get 20% off your first order, baby. That's 20% off your first order at lucy.co/garbage. Lucy has a 30-day refund policy if you change them on. Again, one more time, lucy.co. Use the code garbage to get 20% off. And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

• 20:14H. Foley?

  Okay, we gotta talk about Shopify.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  Shout out to Shopify.

• 20:18H. Foley?

  Are we a Shopify family?

• 20:19Speaker 01

  Uh, let me, let me pull up. Yeah, we're a Shopify family.

• 20:22H. Foley?

  Shopify family. So when you buy merch from us at the shows, we're using Shopify.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 20:27H. Foley?

  And on the website, too?

• 20:28Speaker 01

  Of course, the web, the website's the main thing.

• 20:30H. Foley?

  That's awesome. I love Shopify. And if you're out there hustling, which we know you are, starting a side business, or your main business, you want to upgrade it, go to Shopify. You want to hear something funny?

• 20:40Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 20:41H. Foley?

  I was at the snack shop for my niece's swim meet. They only took cash. I was like, you know what you need? You need Shopify.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Promo code garbage.

• 20:48H. Foley?

  And some Goldens mustard, okay? Shopify, gang, do yourself a favor. You're starting a new business, you got brick and mortar, get Shopify. It's the best way to enhance your business.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, Shopify's point-of-sale system is a unified command center for all your retail business. It brings together in-store and online operations across up to 1,000 locations, daddy-o. Imagine being able to guarantee that shopping is always convenient. Endless aisles, shipped to customer, buy online, pick up in store, all made simpler so customers can shop how they want. And that's important. Now, you got, customers are shopping how they want, and you got to be able to accommodate that. Um, acquiring new customers is expensive. With Shopify POS, you can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experience and first-party data that gives you Your marketed teams, the competitive edge. 22% better total cost of ownership and equivalent benefits of an 8.9 uplift in sales on average relative to the market set surveyed. Listen, I don't know what that means, but that means something.

• 21:43H. Foley?

  That just blew my mind.

• 21:44Speaker 01

  Figure that out and get it going, baby. Get all the big stuff for your small business right with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com/garbage. Go to Shopify.com/garbage. One more time, Shopify.com/garbage.

• 21:56H. Foley?

  Do it. I'm gonna bring this all together right now.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  Okay, go ahead.

• 21:59H. Foley?

  First of all, I just want to say for anybody out there, if you hate the taste of halls, which a lot of people do, this is what you do. You piggyback it with a Ludens and it balances it out.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  This guy's doing Ludens. Ludens chasers.

• 22:13Speaker 01

  Fucking snake bite.

• 22:15H. Foley?

  It really balances it out. It gives you like, almost like a strawberry lemon, or cherry lemonade flavor.

• 22:19Speaker 03

  You can tell how bad Foley wants to do fucking speedballs.

• 22:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:22Speaker 03

  He's doing, he's creating cough drop speedballs.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  He's got one on a spoon, he's melting it down.

• 22:27H. Foley?

  I always told myself.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  You have an alcohol swab and a rubber band by any chance?

• 22:32H. Foley?

  When I found out that was like Belushi's thing.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 22:35H. Foley?

  I always told myself that, yeah, that's, I'm definitely gonna try that one. I just never got to it.

• 22:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, don't.

• 22:41H. Foley?

  There wasn't enough time.

• 22:41Speaker 03

  Don't.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  Only if I had.

• 22:44H. Foley?

  Now it's all behind me.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, good for you.

• 22:46H. Foley?

  All you upscale breakfast restaurants out there, unfortunately, including the Palm.

• 22:54H. Foley?

  One slice of toast is not in order.

• 22:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 22:58H. Foley?

  It's two slices of fucking toast.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  I agree there.

• 23:00H. Foley?

  One slice of toast is not in order.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  Now, is that, are you saying you order specifically a side of toast, or is that what comes with your meal?

• 23:07Speaker 01

  Comes with, comes with the, with the American breakfast.

• 23:09Speaker 03

  Comes with?

• 23:10H. Foley?

  Whoa, what are you doing?

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Should be two pieces of toast.

• 23:13H. Foley?

  Stavvy!

• 23:13Speaker 03

  You're at the, that's what you guys get. You want to eat at the upscale fucking Palm. You don't want to eat at a diner where you might get two fucking pieces of toast. You're prisoners of your own making here.

• 23:22H. Foley?

  You go to a diner, you're getting two pieces of toast.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying.

• 23:25H. Foley?

  You have to give it CPR when it gets there, because it's drowning in butter.

• 23:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Go where you belong if you want two pieces of toast. Don't eat at the fucking Palm. You get what, you get what you deserve. One piece of toast, I think at upscale, I agree with you.

• 23:37H. Foley?

  You might have a point.

• 23:38Speaker 03

  Is it right? No.

• 23:39H. Foley?

  No.

• 23:39Speaker 03

  It's not right.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  I don't like this whole, I don't like this whole get what you deserve bit, and he's not wrong. Dude, I saw you making that connection and I got so mad.

• 23:50H. Foley?

  Stavvy post-media training is dangerous.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, what the fuck? Bullshit.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  I'm just saying, fellas, you know, eat at a fucking diner.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  We do, Bubby's, or whatever, Bubbles.

• 23:59H. Foley?

  I'm gonna Bubby's at LaGuardia.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  At LaGuardia, the new one.

• 24:02H. Foley?

  Maybe we gotta switch it up, maybe we gotta let go of the pom.

• 24:04Speaker 03

  Also, how about this, you know what that might be? You're eating at a fucking airport, you fucking idiots, and they don't treat you with baseline human respect, because they know you have to eat there.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  You can say that about the pom, you don't say that about Bubby's, okay? I'm gonna bite your tongue.

• 24:14Speaker 03

  Every restaurant in Shinnier is an airport.

• 24:16H. Foley?

  I just coughed something up and I chewed it and put it back down. I'm not sure what it was.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  It's probably a bottle cap or something.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  A piece of your esophagus?

• 24:25Speaker 03

  Your own tonsils?

• 24:30H. Foley?

  Foley, you're missing a Lernix.

• 24:32Speaker 03

  Lernix?

• 24:32H. Foley?

  It's pronounced Lorax.

• 24:36Speaker 03

  But listen, I agree with you, and of course, two pieces. Now, if you were to order toast and they give you one piece...

• 24:42H. Foley?

  I'd fucking riot.

• 24:43Speaker 03

  You should flip the fucking table.

• 24:45H. Foley?

  Yeah, but they do do that. You go to a real nice place, they'll do that. They'll hit you with one, like, you know, 19 multi-grain, thick piece of toast.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  Now, if it's thick, if it's the thickness of two pieces, I...

• 24:58H. Foley?

  That's why I want two. I cannot do one piece of toast.

• 25:01Speaker 01

  I will not.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can, you probably should.

• 25:06H. Foley?

  My mom gets that.

• 25:07Speaker 03

  Some might say you should do zero piece of toast, but you don't want to.

• 25:10H. Foley?

  My mom gets this, that 357 toast, what's it called?

• 25:13Speaker 03

  That's good stuff.

• 25:14H. Foley?

  You know what I'm talking, dude?

• 25:15Speaker 03

  I do, yeah.

• 25:15H. Foley?

  That stuff.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  Another fat, another fat staple, hoping diet bread will...

• 25:20Speaker 01

  There's that German stuff, fitness bread, did you ever bite that?

• 25:23H. Foley?

  You fuck with that?

• 25:23Speaker 01

  I might as well be running a marathon after that.

• 25:25H. Foley?

  You get that crispy?

• 25:26Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm, it's not bad.

• 25:27H. Foley?

  That's alright.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  I just had burger, I had turkey burgers with that, with buns, those 150, whatever the fuck it is.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  Now, here's the thing I wanted to ask you, I don't know if we ever talked about this.

• 25:34H. Foley?

  212 bread?

• 25:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, we keep making up numbers, the 814...

• 25:37H. Foley?

  187 bread?

• 25:38Speaker 01

  Whatever your cholesterol is. 618 bread.

• 25:43H. Foley?

  My credit score.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  You mentioned burger, I don't know if we ever got your take on the proper way to eat a burger, if we didn't, let's touch on it again.

• 25:51Speaker 03

  Please.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  Are you, are you ever cutting a burger if it doesn't come cut?

• 25:56Speaker 03

  I am-

• 25:56Speaker 01

  Standard burger.

• 25:57Speaker 03

  Standard burger, no.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 25:59Speaker 03

  I would not do that.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  Now you take your bite?

• 26:01Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  How do you put that down? Do you put that down bottom down, or do you invert like that to make sure it's sustained?

• 26:07H. Foley?

  Just something I want you to know, Halkias, we're taking Aldous into the room after this, and we're gonna ask him all these questions when we're not around.

• 26:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:14H. Foley?

  We should, we should even have you in there, listen.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  All of a sudden, you're spinning this fucking classy guy.

• 26:19H. Foley?

  He eats at the pom-pom?

• 26:20Speaker 03

  I never said I'm classy. I just said you-

• 26:22Speaker 01

  You're trying to distance yourself from us, which I do not like.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  I'm not di- well, first of all, that's your doing. I would love to be, I, you surprise me at the levels of trash you maintain despite getting more successful.

• 26:33H. Foley?

  Him or me?

• 26:34Speaker 03

  Well-

• 26:35H. Foley?

  You may expect it.

• 26:36Speaker 03

  I would, I would expect Kevin to try and better himself.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  I am a little bit.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  You can't help yourself. You're a fuck, you're just, you-

• 26:42H. Foley?

  He went to the dentist a couple weeks ago.

• 26:44Speaker 01

  I got it on Groupon.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  No.

• 26:46Speaker 01

  Because the last time I was at a dentist was off Groupon.

• 26:50Speaker 03

  How bad was that cleaning? How red was that?

• 26:51Speaker 01

  It was tough in there.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  How much fucking bleeding?

• 26:53Speaker 01

  Well, they really try to upsell you. You get in there and go, "You need all this," and then, uh-

• 26:57Speaker 03

  Right, right. When was the last time you went to the dentist?

• 26:59Speaker 01

  It's probably a long time ago.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  How many years?

• 27:04Speaker 01

  Seven?

• 27:04Speaker 03

  Seven years, and you think they were-

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Pre, pre-pandemic.

• 27:06Speaker 03

  You think they were upselling you? You don't think your teeth were in, were in dire need of fucking medical attention? You think they were fucking, what were they trying to upsell you?

• 27:15Speaker 01

  The guy, the guy, the guy working the front desk, which is always bad, this guy had a fucking mouthful of metal, and I was like, "It looks like you're working off of debt." You know what I mean? He's like, "We have a payment plan." I'm like, "Is that what you're fu-" I'll be working here next week.

• 27:28H. Foley?

  Like, like when Sil got that girl braces and worked at the bottom thing?

• 27:31Speaker 03

  Yep, yep, yep. Exactly right.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  Um, how you doing the burger?

• 27:35Speaker 03

  I don't, I couldn't tell ya. Hump?

• 27:37Speaker 01

  He's gotta do the noise. Let me get into character.

• 27:41H. Foley?

  It's like an old lady dialing a phone she has to see in front of it?

• 27:43Speaker 03

  I feel, yeah, I feel like I would try and put it down bottom up.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 27:48Speaker 03

  I don't-

• 27:48Speaker 01

  Bottom up. Inverted.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm sorry.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  No.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  I think I just, in my head, but I don't know, I'd have, I had a burger yesterday, I couldn't tell you.

• 27:54H. Foley?

  Did you?

• 27:55Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 27:55H. Foley?

  What'd you have a burger yesterday?

• 27:56Speaker 03

  Made it myself, turkey burger.

• 27:58H. Foley?

  Oh, you were just saying about that.

• 27:59Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm, turkey burger with the 187 bread.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  Now, are they, are they, are they refrigerated, or are they frozen?

• 28:04Speaker 03

  They are fr- it's like, uh, yeah, I just grilled it.

• 28:07H. Foley?

  Is it that, the pack that has the, um...

• 28:09Speaker 03

  No, it's, it's meat that I make myself.

• 28:10Speaker 01

  You make your burgers out of that?

• 28:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  You buy ground turkey?

• 28:13Speaker 03

  Ground turkey, little spice blend of my own, you know, ground up, here's how to make it juicy, uh, blend a whole onion, put it in the turkey, like, mix it all together, put a little bit of egg in there, really good stuff.

• 28:25H. Foley?

  Huh, like a turkey loaf.

• 28:27Speaker 03

  It's nice, yeah, yeah, it gives it a fresh, little juicy, it's nice.

• 28:30H. Foley?

  Oh, good stabby, you cooking a lot?

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Sometimes you can throw a pepper in there, too, if you wanted to.

• 28:35H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  This guy's high class.

• 28:37Speaker 03

  Uh, uh, you know, sneak in a vegetable in your burger.

• 28:40H. Foley?

  He won't know.

• 28:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll, I have to treat myself like a dog eating medicine when it comes to vegetables, I have to blend

• 28:46H. Foley?

  Piece of cheese.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  peppers into my fucking turkey meat.

• 28:49Speaker 01

  I love how that's the big, that's the big vegetable.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, one pepper amongst 12 fucking burgers.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  So there's a nutrient dance.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  I'm eating one 12th of pepper in every burger.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Ooh, man! I am full on veggies today.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 29:07H. Foley?

  This guy has a pickle once a year, all of a sudden he's Luke Corona.

• 29:10Speaker 03

  No pickles for me, I'm not a pickle guy.

• 29:12H. Foley?

  Really?

• 29:12Speaker 01

  I'm right there with you.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  Not a pickle guy.

• 29:14H. Foley?

  Interesting.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm, I like pickled things, I don't like a pickled cucumber.

• 29:18H. Foley?

  Like pickled onions?

• 29:18Speaker 03

  I'll do pickled onions, for sure.

• 29:19H. Foley?

  Love them.

• 29:20Speaker 03

  A red onion.

• 29:20H. Foley?

  Love them.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  Good stuff.

• 29:21H. Foley?

  So good.

• 29:22Speaker 03

  But I don't know, the classic pickle, not for me.

• 29:24H. Foley?

  I never asked you to, you a coleslaw guy? Mayonnaise coleslaw?

• 29:28Speaker 03

  No.

• 29:28H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  Not really.

• 29:30H. Foley?

  Well, thanks for coming in.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Yeah. Not really.

• 29:33Speaker 01

  One of the ones, I don't know if we ever asked you, when was the first time you had, this is a piggyback off a listener's question, when was the first time you had Nutella?

• 29:39Speaker 03

  Oh, this, I had it early because it was in Greece.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  European.

• 29:43Speaker 03

  There was a brand called Merenda that was a Greek-only brand that my grandmother would, a- as she was smuggling in other Greek goods that you're not supposed to bring.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  Through the x-ray machine.

• 29:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, through the x-ray.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  This is generational for you.

• 29:54Speaker 03

  Maybe I grew up, this is what happened. I was just a child eating fucking x-ray Nutella. You know what I mean? Of course I'm gonna want an x-ray hoagie as a f- you know, the older I get. But no, I, that was like, I, I've, I was more pumped for her to come back with buckets of Merenda than I was to see my grandmother.

• 30:11H. Foley?

  Of course, she would come back, she would with a bunch of stuff.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh dude, she'd come, because it was before you could really get everything imported and shit.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  She's like Karen Hill sneaking into fucking a prison.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Essentially, yeah, essentially, she would come twice, she was, she lives in this little, uh, island, all the way up north, in a village up a fucking mountain, so it was like during the winter, an old lady could get fucking, you know, it was dangerous, so she would come here for the, she would, she would winter in Baltimore.

• 30:34H. Foley?

  No kidding?

• 30:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then go back to Greece for...

• 30:37H. Foley?

  You're bitching at us about the palm.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, that's what I'm saying, so you have grown past this. You don't have to eat at airports anymore.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  That's not good.

• 30:44H. Foley?

  Where would she stay? She would stay with you guys?

• 30:46Speaker 03

  She'd stay with us, we shared a wall. So a lot of my, a lot of my first jacking off, it's like my grandmother's on the other side of the wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:54H. Foley?

  Now I know what you were doing with the Merenda.

• 30:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh no, that was going down the gullet. I wasn't wasting a drop of that stuff.

• 31:02Speaker 01

  And then, uh, piggyback off that, when was the first ti- this is a good one, this might make it into the cycle, when was the first time you had brie cheese?

• 31:08Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 31:09Speaker 01

  Mine was real...

• 31:10H. Foley?

  What, you just see brie cheese this weekend or something?

• 31:12Speaker 01

  No, this is, this is from Mav, this is a question.

• 31:15Speaker 03

  I'm gonna guess college. I'm gonna guess college. Um, brie, yeah.

• 31:22Speaker 01

  That makes sense, I remember the first time I really saw it, and I saw someone like...

• 31:26Speaker 03

  I guess it's possible somebody brought it at a Thanksgiving or something?

• 31:29Speaker 01

  I'm sure it was around, but it came on my radar at the Mummers Parade in South Philly, I saw someone eating, and I said, "What the heck is even that?"

• 31:36H. Foley?

  At the Mummers Parade?

• 31:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, you were put, you were like mid-putting on your blackface, you were like...

• 31:41Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no. I was just there dancing.

• 31:44H. Foley?

  Boursin cheese, huh? That's the commercial?

• 31:46Speaker 01

  It's a South Philly institution!

• 31:50H. Foley?

  Before you beat up the Puerto Rican kid in the neighborhood. Have a little brie cheese.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I don't, I don't remember, but, uh, you know, probably, the first time I remember eating it, I was, my true first memory of eating brie is I was like 24.

• 32:05H. Foley?

  I was mid 30s. I remember the first time I had it, I was like, this ain't for me.

• 32:09Speaker 03

  I like it now.

• 32:10H. Foley?

  I love it now.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, because it's basically a buttery ass cheese.

• 32:13H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 32:14Speaker 01

  There was, the first time I, my wife came to visit from Germany, we had met and she came back to visit. I took her to Astoria Beer and Cheese. I don't know, are they still banging?

• 32:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, very.

• 32:23Speaker 01

  We got like a nice, we each got like a nice IPA. And I, I was trying to, I was trying to act classy. Most of my food up until that point was dollar slice and, you know.

• 32:32Speaker 03

  Beer and cheese, not even wine and cheese.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, beer and cheese.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  That's the classiest you could muster.

• 32:37Speaker 01

  I thought.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  It's beer and cheese.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I thought I was so classy, I took a picture and put it on Instagram. I remember.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  A nice IPA.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  My family was like, who do you think you are?

• 32:46H. Foley?

  We'll do the Gorgonzola plate and two Crystal Lights, please.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  I'll do the Kraft single slice.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  I brought my own cheese. Just the beer for me.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  It's just shredded.

• 32:58Speaker 03

  And whatever the lady wants.

• 33:00Speaker 01

  Well, not even up until and including $20.

• 33:02Speaker 03

  And whatever the lady orders, whatever type of cheese the lady orders, get the one under it, but the same type.

• 33:08Speaker 01

  Dude, it was the first time I had proper blue cheese, like, man, I didn't know what it was and I took.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  Cheese is sick.

• 33:15Speaker 01

  Big bite, yeah. Man, I, I, and I wanted, I had to, I couldn't puss out.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  But I was like talking with it in my mouth.

• 33:27H. Foley?

  I got caught with that on a Negiri plate. Is that how you pronounce it, Negiri?

• 33:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, and let's just, don't try any other ones.

• 33:36Speaker 03

  Let's just stick with that.

• 33:37Speaker 01

  Let's just do Marmar's break.

• 33:42H. Foley?

  I was at the dinner with my wife, this is years ago.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  They had blue cheese. Where the fuck are you eating sushi? When they're putting blue cheese on it?

• 33:50H. Foley?

  No, it wasn't blue cheese.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  Oh, oh, just the, just you, the raw fish.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  This is a mouth feel.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  Okay, I see, I see.

• 33:57H. Foley?

  It was, uh, it was the first time they hit me, I was like, "Yeah, I'll try whatever." And they hit me with raw calamari.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  Oh, I like that, actually.

• 34:04H. Foley?

  Whoa, dude, that's like chewing a foot.

• 34:06Speaker 03

  But it is chewy, yeah.

• 34:07H. Foley?

  Oh my god. And I was like, I was chewing on like, big league chew.

• 34:10Speaker 03

  It takes a lot of chewing, it does.

• 34:11H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  There's a point for me, mouth feel, where if I can't get it in a couple chews, it ain't happening.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:17Speaker 01

  And I can't get it down. I don't care how much, how much fucking IPA I got in front of me.

• 34:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:23Speaker 01

  There's not enough for it to go.

• 34:24Speaker 03

  Are you sure it's not a teeth thing? Are you sure it's not back to the teeth?

• 34:27Speaker 01

  It's not back to the teeth?

• 34:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, you need two easy, soft chews?

• 34:30Speaker 01

  I got a couple.

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Or you have to spit it out?

• 34:32Speaker 01

  I got a couple of stingers in the back.

• 34:34H. Foley?

  Chew it, chew it on one side because you have a bad tooth on the other side?

• 34:37Speaker 03

  Oh dude, when I, when my tooth, when I fucked this tooth up, uh, I spent three days, I was like, "It's fine, I don't need to get it out." And it was excruciating pain, to the point where I just like, would place food, I would take a little bite, and put it

• 34:51Speaker 01

  All the way in the back.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  In my back left corner and go like

• 34:54Speaker 01

  What is going

• 34:55H. Foley?

  It's like Tom Hanks?

• 34:56Speaker 01

  What is the prognosis of that tooth? Are you getting that fixed?

• 34:58Speaker 03

  It's too, what are you talking about?

• 34:59H. Foley?

  It is fixed.

• 35:00Speaker 01

  It's chipped.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, I chipped the fake one, but whatever.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:03H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  I was asking about the chip tooth.

• 35:04H. Foley?

  That didn't get knocked out? That was, that went bad? Is that what happened with that?

• 35:08Speaker 03

  It went bad, and then it got knocked out, and then I took it out.

• 35:11Speaker 01

  This guy judging me for working it out.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Again, I am not, that's what, you need to look in a mirror if a man like me is disgusted by your actions. That's not what, I'm not here to claim I'm above you. I'm just saying, you need to, well, I am, unfortunately.

• 35:24H. Foley?

  He had a telling in his twenties.

• 35:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:28H. Foley?

  Like a Kennedy.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  Um, but no, I, it got, it went bad.

• 35:31H. Foley?

  What does that mean, exactly?

• 35:32Speaker 03

  It was called tooth resorption. And it's when you're fucking, it's when you're fucking, you break your, you're, literally your body starts absorbing the tooth. For real.

• 35:41H. Foley?

  Gets hungry.

• 35:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, for, and I, yeah, I had a, I had a joke, I don't think I ever put it on anything, where it was like, my body was so fat, it was just like, "All right, man, we gotta take his teeth."

• 35:48Speaker 01

  You take your teeth?

• 35:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  He's not gonna learn that.

• 35:51Speaker 03

  It felt like that's what happened with my body.

• 35:53H. Foley?

  I have that?

• 35:53Speaker 03

  Take his teeth. Nah, I'm still working on it, don't worry about it. Yeah.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  You pull your tooth out to do the bit?

• 35:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  That's my new closure.

• 36:02H. Foley?

  How's everybody doing today?

• 36:05Speaker 03

  Self-holing my toothless stuff?

• 36:07H. Foley?

  So it wasn't a cavity? It was like receding into your gums?

• 36:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't exactly know what the fuck it was.

• 36:11H. Foley?

  And then you pulled it out by yourself because it hurt so bad?

• 36:13Speaker 03

  I went to the dentist, they took it out. And I thought-

• 36:16H. Foley?

  RuPaul?

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, literally like a friend's, a friend's uncle who I had to drive an hour and a half to Jersey. Mm-hmm. Tough stuff.

• 36:22H. Foley?

  How good does that feel though, when they pull it out, when they numb ya?

• 36:25Speaker 03

  It felt good.

• 36:25H. Foley?

  I had two, two teeth that went like bad from bad root canal.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  Mmm.

• 36:29H. Foley?

  And they were killing me, they yanked them out.

• 36:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:32H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 36:32Speaker 03

  Not bad. You got replacements, you still?

• 36:34H. Foley?

  Uh-uh.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 36:35H. Foley?

  Uh-uh. I'll wait.

• 36:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:38H. Foley?

  I'll wait till a co- I'm not getting the fucking back ones replaced.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  Shoutouts to all the ladies still tuned in.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:44H. Foley?

  Well, here's the thing.

• 36:45Speaker 03

  Right.

• 36:45H. Foley?

  If I get a fake tooth put in, they gotta drill it, put the screw in, then you gotta wait like six months for that.

• 36:51Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 36:52H. Foley?

  And then get the tooth put in.

• 36:53Speaker 03

  It's quite the process.

• 36:53H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 36:54Speaker 03

  But your whole mouth is fucked up. Like, you need to do that because your just teeth, you know.

• 36:58H. Foley?

  They're moving around.

• 36:59Speaker 03

  They move around.

• 36:59H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  You're fine with that.

• 37:01H. Foley?

  I floss every day and I brush every day.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 37:03H. Foley?

  I haven't been to a dentist in probably 20 years.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  You should go to a dentist.

• 37:06H. Foley?

  Nah. They bang you out with that shit.

• 37:09Speaker 01

  We have dental, don't we?

• 37:10H. Foley?

  But dental insurance is the biggest scam in the world.

• 37:13Speaker 03

  Just go to the dentist, you fucking animals.

• 37:14H. Foley?

  It doesn't matter, they don't cover nothing.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Do we have dental?

• 37:17Speaker 03

  Eat at the pub outside of security and go to the dentist's office.

• 37:21H. Foley?

  It doesn't cover anything.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  So pay out of pocket!

• 37:24H. Foley?

  I'm not going to pay a fucking four grand for a fuck, for that bullshit?

• 37:29Speaker 03

  Why not? No, it's about your mouth, dumbass.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  What about it?

• 37:33Speaker 03

  You just, you're okay with it being, I mean, you do have weird teeth to begin with.

• 37:37H. Foley?

  You can't see my teeth anyway.

• 37:38Speaker 01

  He's on a back nine, too.

• 37:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess you're right.

• 37:41Speaker 01

  He's on the 18th, he's on the 18th green if we're being honest.

• 37:43H. Foley?

  Going to get the bumper fixed now?

• 37:45Speaker 03

  What are you gonna get for eight years? What are you gonna get, you teeth?

• 37:47H. Foley?

  Yeah, for the final, for the final eight years of your life? It's not worth it.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  That's a bad, that's chasing bad money right there. Any financial advisor worth his weight in salt, I'll tell you that.

• 37:58H. Foley?

  Yeah, I might as well start a 401K.

• 38:02H. Foley?

  I'm a fucking idiot.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  Crazy? Which I think they did, and you're gonna be real mad when you find out.

• 38:08H. Foley?

  What, are you kidding me?

• 38:10Speaker 01

  I think they did.

• 38:11H. Foley?

  Does that come out of a d-

• 38:15H. Foley?

  Call JB.

• 38:17Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  Foley likes to invest in scratch offs. He gets most of his, that's his retirement fund.

• 38:23H. Foley?

  Hey, I'm a short-term guy. Laundry mats. Nick Rochefort told me about gravel. Thinking about getting into gravel.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  We did a, we had a, we had a real realization. I don't know if it was on Patreon or what, where we started, we had what you need to get ready for retirement.

• 38:40Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck.

• 38:41Speaker 01

  And the fact that how close he is.

• 38:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:43Speaker 01

  To retire, like to normal retirement age.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  Four years.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  And how little he has ready for that. It's like, he's gonna have to work till he's like ninety-two years old.

• 38:52H. Foley?

  Yeah. I'm five years away from a fifty-five and older community.

• 38:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  We were looking to get him in one of those.

• 38:57Speaker 03

  That would be awesome. You should go.

• 38:58H. Foley?

  Clean up.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  We should, we should get him down in Boca. Move the whole operation down there.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. Save a lot on taxes that way.

• 39:05H. Foley?

  I know. What I just saw too on a commercial, I was watching, I was watching Goonies the other day when I was home.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  Jam-packed day.

• 39:12Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, God forbid you have to keep up this job till you're eighty.

• 39:18H. Foley?

  And they did one of them, uh, consumer cellular commercials.

• 39:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:21H. Foley?

  You know? Fifty and older.

• 39:23Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 39:24H. Foley?

  Fifty?

• 39:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:26H. Foley?

  What the fuck?

• 39:27Speaker 03

  I mean, that's, yeah.

• 39:27H. Foley?

  Fuck that. Johnny Depp's like sixty-five. He's doing cologne commercials with a mountain lion.

• 39:31Speaker 03

  Right.

• 39:32H. Foley?

  It's all how you look at it.

• 39:33Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  It's one way to look at it.

• 39:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:35H. Foley?

  Savage.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:37Speaker 01

  We're coming out with garbage.

• 39:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, that, you should.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  I think we are.

• 39:40Speaker 03

  You should. That'd be great.

• 39:41H. Foley?

  Kimmy, this is Aura Frames.

• 39:43Speaker 01

  Aura Frame, Aura Frame, Aura Frame.

• 39:44H. Foley?

  Wait, you know Aura Frames?

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Do I know Aura Frame?

• 39:46H. Foley?

  Have you ever bought an Aura Frames as a present for somebody?

• 39:48Speaker 01

  About ten times. Every lady in my life has gotten an Aura Frame and it's the best gift I've ever given, the best gift they've ever gotten.

• 39:54H. Foley?

  Of course, you're talking about Aura Frames, the digital, uh, digital.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  Frame.

• 39:58H. Foley?

  Frame.

• 39:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:59H. Foley?

  That you put on the thing and you put, upload the pictures and everybody gets to see.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  I got one for you. You can even preload it with pictures. So when they open up the box on Christmas Day, oh my God, what the heck? And they plug it in, boom!

• 40:09H. Foley?

  Really?

• 40:10Speaker 01

  Dick pic.

• 40:10H. Foley?

  So that means the grandparents, the aunts, the uncles, they can keep up and know what the kids are doing and all that kind of stuff.

• 40:14Speaker 01

  All easy peasy.

• 40:15H. Foley?

  Now, if you ever jammed up for a last-minute gift idea, would you recommend getting an Aura Frame?

• 40:20Speaker 01

  I wouldn't only recommend it, I would demand it. If you came to me, you said, oh, my God, Kippy, I need help. I got a mother-in-law that won't get off my back. I'm trying to stay in a will to have a couple of bucks to buy a shore house. I'd say, get them, get them the frame, get them the Aura Frame.

• 40:38H. Foley?

  So you'd recommend Aura Frames this holiday season?

• 40:40Speaker 01

  Uh, not only would I, it was named number one by Wirecutter, the best-selling Carver Mat Frame. And right now, for a limited time, uh, save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35, $35 off the best-selling Carver Mat Frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code garbage at checkout. That's A-U-R-A. Frames.com promo code garbage. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames will sell out. So order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Dead.

• 41:09H. Foley?

  Kim, let's talk about Chime.

• 41:10Speaker 01

  Chime!

• 41:11H. Foley?

  As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 41:14Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 41:15H. Foley?

  Things start adding up. You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, if you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money, make sure you do it right, watch out for bank fees, all that kind of stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish. I could go back and say, hey, I wish I had Chime.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  I know. Listen, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is. Then you got these big corporate banks coming after you.

• 41:44H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 41:45Speaker 01

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• 42:27Speaker 05

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 42:39H. Foley?

  Uh, that's crazy that I'm that old. I'm 15 years from retirement.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  No, you're not.

• 42:44H. Foley?

  I know.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  No, you are not.

• 42:45Speaker 03

  You're 40 years from retirement.

• 42:48H. Foley?

  No, I think I'd be gone before that. Oh, you think?

• 42:51Speaker 01

  You're not gonna make it to ninety?

• 42:55Speaker 01

  What?

• 42:56H. Foley?

  Listen, I love you guys, but I can't stay around here forever.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  I gotta let you guys go out on your own.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  You are weirdly getting to the point of like, isn't it fu- cuz the people that live the longest either take care of themselves, or they don't to such a degree. That God lets them live as a joke.

• 43:11H. Foley?

  It's always an old, it's always an old British woman that drinks, uh, Tullymore every day.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 43:15H. Foley?

  Lives to a hundred and fifty-two.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  And you could be that, I mean, you won't be, but there's a possibility. I say this point, you're not gonna do it the right way, so just lean in.

• 43:22H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 43:23Speaker 03

  Keep, keep smoking.

• 43:24H. Foley?

  Yeah, I like having him here.

• 43:26Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 43:26H. Foley?

  I like the way he thinks.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  And you might break through to the other side. You're the meme with the diamonds or whatever, that guy with the mu- diamonds and the hammer.

• 43:33H. Foley?

  Who?

• 43:33Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? You ever see that meme where the guy's like?

• 43:35Speaker 01

  Uh, like, right, cuz that, the perseverance.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Perseverance, yeah. Keep smoking, keep fucking doing drugs.

• 43:39H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  You know?

• 43:40H. Foley?

  You're not kids? Don't listen to your know-it-all dentist.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  When's the last time you even talked to them?

• 43:47H. Foley?

  When's the last time you were to dentist, other than the tooth?

• 43:49Speaker 03

  A year ago?

• 43:50H. Foley?

  You get the fluoride?

• 43:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I get checkups, I get the fluoride, I get it all.

• 43:53H. Foley?

  Bubble gum? What do you get?

• 43:54Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 43:55H. Foley?

  What do you get?

• 43:55Speaker 03

  I don't, see, that's not, you, that's not, you went to the dentist.

• 43:58Speaker 01

  I was bubble gum.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  It was when they had bubble gum flavors cuz your parents took you.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  And what did you pick out of the treasure chest?

• 44:04H. Foley?

  What, it's all that flavor.

• 44:06Speaker 03

  Which He-Man toy? Cuz that's how fucking old you are too.

• 44:11H. Foley?

  You're way off. They wouldn't be giving away He-Mans. Those are like twenty dollars retail.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  I went to the dentist, then we saw Goonies in theater.

• 44:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  You auditioned for Chunk?

• 44:22Speaker 01

  He was like a, he's a, he's a lawyer, right?

• 44:24H. Foley?

  Big entertainment lawyer.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  Chunk's a big, uh, yeah.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:27H. Foley?

  And I didn't realize Sean Astin was the son of the guy who, uh, John Astin, who played the original Gomez in The Addams Family.

• 44:33Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 44:34H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 44:34Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:35H. Foley?

  That kid's Hollywood royalty.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  Last time I was here, you made a, you made a, uh, comment about another black and white television show. Didn't you talk about fucking Green Gables or some, Green Acres or some bullshit?

• 44:44H. Foley?

  Is that Green Acres? Maybe Hogan's Heroes.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  Hogan's Heroes.

• 44:47Speaker 01

  Green Eggs and Ham.

• 44:47H. Foley?

  Which was not in black and white.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm sorry.

• 44:50H. Foley?

  It was a Technicolor.

• 44:55Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, it's really weird you're 50. Yeah.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  You guys, can you believe it?

• 45:02Speaker 03

  Great stuff. You're gonna live forever, Hank.

• 45:04H. Foley?

  There is a, my dad has a huge map of, um, of the world from his office when he, when he worked.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  It's Pangaea.

• 45:14Speaker 01

  You are here.

• 45:15H. Foley?

  It's Flat Earth, it's the ice shelf around it. No, and it's, it's, it's the United States, South America, the Soviet Union.

• 45:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:25H. Foley?

  Huge. Man, they had a lot of real estate.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  They did.

• 45:27H. Foley?

  How'd you fuck that up? You got all them minerals, you got all that oil.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 45:32H. Foley?

  It's crazy.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:33H. Foley?

  How you fuck that up?

• 45:35Speaker 03

  I don't know. You think this is the show to talk about the fall of the USSR?

• 45:39Speaker 01

  I love how the guy with, I love how the guy with no teeth and no money, he's like, how you fuck that up?

• 45:44H. Foley?

  I guarantee they were doing one piece of toast over there.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  How do you have everything going for you and still fumble the ball? How does that happen?

• 45:54Speaker 01

  I keep spitting up food.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  A podcast millionaire who refuses to go to the dentist.

• 46:00H. Foley?

  No dentist.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  Listen.

• 46:03H. Foley?

  It's all a hustle. You go in there. Yeah, they covered the cleaning.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  You spent a thousand dollars at STK Disney, but you won't.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  The company did that.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  You won't go to the fucking dentist.

• 46:15Speaker 01

  Oh, hey, if you're, if the IRS is out there watching, that was for content purposes.

• 46:19H. Foley?

  Of course. We were down there filming something.

• 46:21Speaker 01

  That was team building.

• 46:22Speaker 03

  Fucking film it then. That would be good video, how fucked up your teeth are after not going to the dentist for 20 years.

• 46:28H. Foley?

  I think they're pretty good.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  Well, it's the only one way to find out.

• 46:31H. Foley?

  I got a hole in one. And I'm not talking about golf.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  Uh, alright. Let's, uh, let's get to some.

• 46:40H. Foley?

  Any more hard hitting questions?

• 46:42Speaker 01

  This one, this is very of, um, this is of Stavvy's world a little bit, a little bit of a longer.

• 46:47H. Foley?

  Please.

• 46:47Speaker 01

  Narrative.

• 46:48H. Foley?

  Please.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  This is, uh, from the last generation of white trash, $10 homie, still kind of a bozo, never had one red. Showed us all in Richmond, loved it. Thank you. You hear that, Philadelphia?

• 46:57H. Foley?

  Thanks, guys.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Uh, are you garbage, if a song on the radio prompted your dad to give you the sex talk, it was Paradise by The Dashboard Light by Meatloaf. We were heading home from the Kmart where his girlfriend worked. He would disappear into the back of the store with her for when she was on break. I was left to hang out in the electronics department for 20 or 30 minutes. That's when you could still hang out in the electronics department. I never was able to get anything and I had no idea what was going on and he was still married to my mom at the time. Is that trash? Yeah, I mean, that's fucking-

• 47:29Speaker 03

  Is it trash?

• 47:30Speaker 01

  At every turn, that's trash.

• 47:31Speaker 03

  You had us at Kmart.

• 47:34Speaker 03

  Girlfriend, your adult father having a girlfriend that works at Kmart. Instantly, you're trash. Sure. No, with no other qualifications. You know, that's trash. Cheating, yes.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  Banging her out of work is nuts.

• 47:47Speaker 03

  The question, did my father-

• 47:49Speaker 01

  I think it was more of a statement.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  Cheating on my, uh, mother, taking me along, uh, not even bribing me with a toy, but just letting me hang out while he fucked some disgusting woman.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  She could have been good looking.

• 48:02Speaker 03

  I guess it's-

• 48:03H. Foley?

  Tell you what, I'm gonna go talk to Linda. You watch the same thing on 17 TVs.

• 48:09Speaker 03

  I mean, yes, it's trash.

• 48:11Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 48:11Speaker 03

  That's one of the most trash situations I've ever heard of and it has nothing to do with, uh, ostensibly, the Meatloaf song.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  No, not at all. That's actually the classiest thing of the whole story.

• 48:22H. Foley?

  But it's funny you mention that. I remember kinda piecing things together with that song too. With the Phil Rizzuto, he rounds first, he goes for second. That's him trying to score.

• 48:31Speaker 03

  I'm not, I'm, yeah, yeah.

• 48:32H. Foley?

  Are you kidding me?

• 48:33Speaker 03

  I don't know that song.

• 48:34H. Foley?

  Paradise by the Dashboard Light.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  What year, what year did that come out, Luke?

• 48:38H. Foley?

  It doesn't matter. I was listening to it in the early 90s.

• 48:40Speaker 04

  1977.

• 48:42Speaker 03

  Dude, 1977?

• 48:44Speaker 01

  Fucking 10 years before I was born.

• 48:45H. Foley?

  I didn't listen to it then. I was a year older in 1977.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  I understand.

• 48:49H. Foley?

  I wasn't getting laid yet, but thank you for the compliment.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  I was advanced for my age.

• 48:53H. Foley?

  It was in the 90s when they reissued everything on CD.

• 48:56Speaker 03

  I do feel like Meatloaf did have a big comeback, cause I remember him as a child.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  Bad Outta Hell was-

• 49:01H. Foley?

  It's a great album.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  We, I went to, that was, uh, just kind of one of the original questions.

• 49:04H. Foley?

  Two out of three ain't bad?

• 49:05Speaker 01

  That was the first concert I ever went to was Meatloaf, cause I loved that. I'll Do Anything For Love Song. So my mom took me, my brother and my sister, and he was so drunk and dirty and he's like, he had this girl singing on stage like his backup stage, he's like, "This fucking slut!" And then dude, he only did like half the, half the concert and then like, Ticketmaster came out and was like, "We'd like to apologize on behalf of Meatloaf and all Meatloaf subsidiaries." It was wild.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 49:29H. Foley?

  Talking about learning the birds and the bees.

• 49:30Speaker 03

  How old were you?

• 49:31Speaker 01

  Seven, eight. I mean, it was crazy. Yeah, I was just like, "This guy seems upset about something."

• 49:37Speaker 03

  That's so sick.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're incredibly trash. This guy's one of the trashiest guys I've ever known.

• 49:43Speaker 01

  Were you a Kmart family?

• 49:44Speaker 03

  We would dabble.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  Value City?

• 49:46Speaker 03

  We were Value City. We would dabble in some Kmart.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  We were never a Walmart family.

• 49:50H. Foley?

  I don't think Walmart existed back then.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, Walmart's from, I mean, I don't know if it was by us.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  It wasn't around by us. I think it was more of a southern thing.

• 49:57H. Foley?

  I think they took Kmart over.

• 49:58Speaker 03

  They took Kmart, yeah, they ate Kmart's lunch. But yeah, we were, we were a Kmart family for a while. Value City, definitely. Uh, I do remember there was a Kmart with a Little Caesar's inside of it.

• 50:08H. Foley?

  Very nice.

• 50:09Speaker 03

  And that was big.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Very nice.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  The advertising for Little Caesar's really worked on me as a child.

• 50:13H. Foley?

  For sure.

• 50:13Speaker 03

  The pizza pizza guy.

• 50:14H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 50:15Speaker 01

  They weren't around us enough. I would see the commercials, but we would never see like, we were Domino's or Pizza.

• 50:19H. Foley?

  It was so good back in the, when they just did the square pizza. It was so good.

• 50:23Speaker 03

  I remember that actually being the first time I understood, I understood how misleading advertising could be. Cause I was like, I was like, for like my fifth or sixth birthday, I was like, "I demand Little Caesar's pizza." And then I was like, "This is gonna be the best fucking pizza. Fucking, this cartoon loves it. It's fucking awesome." And it came, it fucking sucked. It like, compared to our local like pizza place where it was like, what I was used to.

• 50:45H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 50:46Speaker 03

  And I was like, "The fu-"

• 50:48Speaker 01

  This stinks.

• 50:48Speaker 03

  They let this on TV? TV betrayed me?

• 50:51Speaker 01

  Somebody called the president.

• 50:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, they do. My favorite thing, television lied to me.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  Offer profits?

• 50:57Speaker 03

  This pizza sucks.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  Took my parents' hard-earned money? This is crazy.

• 51:01Speaker 03

  It really pissed me the fuck off.

• 51:03Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:04H. Foley?

  Mom, these advertising guys, they might not be good people.

• 51:07Speaker 03

  I'm starting to not, I'm starting to trust this stuff.

• 51:09H. Foley?

  But I, I thought it was really good, back in the day when it came in the big box and it was square.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:14H. Foley?

  I thought it was, I thought it was all alright.

• 51:15Speaker 03

  We're more of a pizza, a Pizza Hut or a Papa John's family.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  Where would you do your back-to-school shopping? Would you do Kmart, Value City?

• 51:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, for sure.

• 51:23Speaker 01

  That's where it would go.

• 51:24H. Foley?

  What's his Value City you keep talking about?

• 51:25Speaker 03

  Value City's like a Burlington Co. factory sort of.

• 51:29Speaker 01

  They took over Clover in my hometown.

• 51:31H. Foley?

  Oh, really?

• 51:32Speaker 01

  Off street road. It was Clover and then Clover turned into Value City. It was like a, like a, like a boss, yeah, like a bad standalone department store.

• 51:39H. Foley?

  Never seen it.

• 51:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, like a mar- like a shittier Marshalls, like a TJ Maxx.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:44Speaker 03

  It was in that, it was in that family of stuff.

• 51:46H. Foley?

  When our Clover closed, they just shut it down. Sucked. Did you have a Clover down in Baltimore?

• 51:51Speaker 03

  No, we never got Clover.

• 51:52H. Foley?

  You know what's great about that Kmart is right in the middle of the store, they had the fucking Icy stand. You could see it. It was like a, like a fuck.

• 52:00Speaker 01

  In the center?

• 52:01H. Foley?

  It was a North Star. You could just see the polar bear and that cup just going around. Going around.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  I was in black and white and we're going around.

• 52:09Speaker 03

  Interesting, interesting.

• 52:10Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 52:11Speaker 03

  I did like the Icy. With the, with the bear. That was good shit.

• 52:14Speaker 01

  The Slurpee with, dude, the Coca-Cola flavored Slurpee. When that hit, that and a soft pretzel, fucking forget about it.

• 52:21Speaker 03

  That is good stuff, fellas. We have, we, we can build common ground there for sure.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  And I always hit it.

• 52:26H. Foley?

  And that's what it shows all about. Find a common ground.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  Bringing, bringing idiots together.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, being a fat child throwing a temper tantrum until your mother gave you a Slurpee. So you could, so she could, you know, uh, barely get enough to fucking clothe and feed you.

• 52:40H. Foley?

  Sure. I, I think to myself, if they just would've gave in and made it not a big deal. Would I have grown up to be, to have the tendencies that I have?

• 52:51Speaker 03

  Right.

• 52:52H. Foley?

  If they, "Yeah, you want a Slurpee?"

• 52:53Speaker 01

  If you were ungoverned?

• 52:55H. Foley?

  I'm not saying ungoverned. I'm saying if they did, because I'm the kind of person, if you want to make it a fight, I'll make it a fight.

• 53:02Speaker 03

  You'll dig your heels in.

• 53:03H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'll dig my fucking heels in.

• 53:04Speaker 03

  Well, I, I'm gonna say no. There's something about your genetic makeup that you would've been a mess no matter what.

• 53:10H. Foley?

  Right.

• 53:11Speaker 03

  But.

• 53:11H. Foley?

  I got you.

• 53:11Speaker 03

  There is the thought, you probably would've, no matter what parenting, you're this guy.

• 53:16H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  It's kind of my guess, right? The fact that you refuse to go to the dentist. Is anyone fighting you on the dentist fully?

• 53:22H. Foley?

  Not anymore.

• 53:22Speaker 03

  Are you just not going because you don't want to?

• 53:23H. Foley?

  Not anymore.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  Right, exactly.

• 53:25H. Foley?

  I mean, the only dentist that I've ever gone to is the office that my mom worked at when I was, when I was younger.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  Emotional connection.

• 53:31H. Foley?

  And then when she stopped working there, the hygienist, Michelle, who I always saw growing up, she went to another office. That's the only dentist that I think about going to. I'm not going to some fucking dentist in Astoria. What are you fucking nuts?

• 53:45Speaker 03

  What about Manhattan?

• 53:47H. Foley?

  New York City?

• 53:49H. Foley?

  Yeah, they bang you out.

• 53:50Speaker 03

  Again, that's fine.

• 53:52H. Foley?

  I'm not going to some dentist on Park Avenue. They give you like a scotch while you're waiting.

• 53:58Speaker 01

  This is the 50s?

• 53:58H. Foley?

  No.

• 54:00Speaker 01

  You're in there smoking.

• 54:01H. Foley?

  Where do you go?

• 54:01Speaker 03

  But I know, I go to a good, a good dance, but I know, actually, there is a school of thought that it's like, if you raise your kids to actually not, you don't make like candy a big deal. You don't make desserts a big deal.

• 54:12Speaker 01

  They'll make the better choices.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  They'll just fucking eat it till they, they'll just have like fucking couple scoops, be like, "That was good."

• 54:17H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 54:18Speaker 03

  And, but it's just, you know, it's so hard for me to fathom that.

• 54:21H. Foley?

  That's the way Luke was raised, right?

• 54:23Speaker 04

  Yes, sir.

• 54:23H. Foley?

  See? You act like you don't need this shit, they give it to you for free.

• 54:27Speaker 03

  Interesting.

• 54:27H. Foley?

  To quote Mr. Vince Vaughn.

• 54:28Speaker 03

  And we, did you ever go over, did you ever, was there anything you ever gorged on Luke?

• 54:32Speaker 04

  I think college is where you figure that out. You lock that in and then you, hopefully you're on to greener paths.

• 54:38H. Foley?

  He had a little pill thing in college.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:41Speaker 01

  His parents watched the show.

• 54:42H. Foley?

  Penn State.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  I mean dude, when they-

• 54:44H. Foley?

  Grown man?

• 54:44Speaker 03

  When I got the fucking unlimited meal plan, that was a big problem.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  I remember finding out-

• 54:49Speaker 03

  I did the freshman 50.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  What fourth meal was.

• 54:52Speaker 03

  What's that?

• 54:52Speaker 01

  Fourth meal, I didn't know it was a thing. I did, I was eating four times before.

• 54:56Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  But I didn't know was, "Oh, we'll go to fourth meal." I was like, I, once I learned that I had access to that.

• 55:01Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  I didn't fucking miss, I'd leave a party and go eat.

• 55:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, of course.

• 55:05Speaker 04

  Loved it.

• 55:05Speaker 01

  Later, bitches.

• 55:06Speaker 03

  Set an alarm on your fucking phone.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:08Speaker 03

  To be like, "Oh, fourth meal, got it, I'll be back."

• 55:11H. Foley?

  You skanks aren't giving it up, I'm getting out of here.

• 55:13Speaker 01

  I'm gonna go make a chicken finger sandwich.

• 55:15Speaker 03

  Time for a shitty pizza, yeah.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  Took a couple chicken fingers, put them on a Kaiser roll, slice of cheese, out the door.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  That's good stuff.

• 55:22Speaker 01

  Um, ah, it's fucking brutal.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, they had a fucking soft serve machine.

• 55:27H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 55:28Speaker 03

  I just had soft serve after every meal. Every meal.

• 55:30H. Foley?

  You had a soft serve machine?

• 55:32Speaker 03

  In college.

• 55:32H. Foley?

  Where'd you go, Harvard?

• 55:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, University of Maryland, Baltimore County.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  Yikes. Um, we just, uh, I remember the first time we had fountain, we had Gatorade fountain drinks. Like, you know, get Gatorade out of the fountain, so you'd get like two or three of them, put it on a tray, probably a wild cherry Pepsi, put that on a tray.

• 55:51Speaker 03

  Love that.

• 55:51Speaker 01

  No water in sight.

• 55:52Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 55:53Speaker 01

  And I'm going, I got like three or four drinks on the tray, small, like 12 ounce cups or whatever. And, uh, I remember sitting down and there was this kid I became friends with, he was like really in shape. We went to high school together, but he wasn't in, we weren't boys in high school, but we linked up in college.

• 56:05Speaker 03

  That happens a lot in college, yeah.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  And he was like going to the gym every day and I was just fucking smoking and eating, drinking. And, uh, he goes, "Hey, man, I notice you, I notice you drink Gatorade with every meal."

• 56:17H. Foley?

  Yeah, let's say hydrated. You know?

• 56:20Speaker 03

  I noticed.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  This is like, this is like, six weeks into college.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  Couldn't help but notice, man.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  Couldn't help but notice. You're drinking, you're drinking a lot of Gatorade. He goes, "That's typically reserved for like, when you exercise and need to replenish."

• 56:36Speaker 03

  Just giving you the benefit of the doubt as if you're that stupid.

• 56:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  I was, I never thought of it. It was, I had never, I just thought I was gonna be in better, like, in case something did break out.

• 56:48Speaker 03

  Well, it's healthy. Well, yeah, I'm drinking what an athlete drinks, I'll become an athlete.

• 56:53H. Foley?

  What if some chick wants to see me dunk?

• 56:58H. Foley?

  I don't wanna cramp up like an ass.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  That's fucking awesome.

• 57:04Speaker 01

  Ah, and I remember, it rattled me to the core, it was like, huh?

• 57:08H. Foley?

  Did you not know?

• 57:09Speaker 03

  No, no, I'm with Kevin here, cause like, no, you're right. No one knew. No one knew. Exactly. No, the concept of a drink like I'm having sugar in it. Yeah, yeah. Sugar in Gatorade didn't even cross my mind.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  No, not once.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  No, absolutely, yeah, I'm with you.

• 57:25Speaker 01

  Absolutely not. I used to do the thing, I was so fat and I lied to myself so much that like, I remember one, I remember I went one time with my boy Pat, who was like tiny, like, just regular kid, to McDonald's and I went, "Oh, he eats McDonald's?" It can't be, like, I can have it four times a week. Where there, he has it once a month or whatever. Yeah, and I'm like, that, I, I.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  Once a month throws away some of the fries.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  You remember, fuck, the first time you ate McDonald's with someone, you saw some fries left? You're like, what?

• 57:54H. Foley?

  He must've ate just before he came.

• 57:57H. Foley?

  Like, I did.

• 57:59Speaker 03

  I, for the first time, I, for Thanksgiving, my brother hosted, and so I didn't have access to leftovers.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  Just now?

• 58:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, just now. And I left my, like, tin, you know, you just kinda make a little plate, but I left it there. So I did, this is, you wanna hear trash? And I freely admit this, right? I went to a McDonald's drive-through on Thanksgiving at like eight o'clock to watch the Ravens lose. I was like, I don't have leftovers.

• 58:25Speaker 03

  It's Thanksgiving. You know, you give yourself like, listen, you give yourself Thanksgiving, act a fucking fool. So I fucking, and even then, full off Thanksgiving dinner, didn't want to finish my fucking fries. I had, I finished, I fucking stuffed them.

• 58:38H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 58:39Speaker 03

  I wasn't hungry, I, you know.

• 58:40H. Foley?

  You did it though.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  I had a very modest quarter pounder, 10 nuggets and fries.

• 58:44H. Foley?

  Like the pilgrims did.

• 58:45Speaker 03

  Exactly, yeah. Very modest order, nothing wrong there.

• 58:49H. Foley?

  You know, a cornucopia.

• 58:52Speaker 03

  But yes, I remember the first time eating fast food to someone and just seeing like, a bite of sandwich and some fries go into the trash and it fucking pissed me off.

• 59:01H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 59:01Speaker 01

  We were telling this story.

• 59:03H. Foley?

  Where's the apple pie? That's what I want to know.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't get an apple pie.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  In the car on the way home from the road yesterday, this, I was, my all time card getting denied, I was in line at a McDonald's. I had ordered and then went to pay, 681 or whatever, got denied. And there was a curb, so I couldn't pull out. So I had to wait until they get to the next window and he's like, I don't have your order. I'm like, yeah, I don't, I ain't got it.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  Fuck, dude.

• 59:27H. Foley?

  Changed my mind, I'm gonna go grab a Gatorade.

• 59:31Speaker 03

  You're like, you should've just been like, surely there's a mistake.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  Sure, oh, that, this is, what a segue. This is from AG Willockers. When you go through a drive thru, at what point does the size of the order become rude to the people behind you? And someone piggyback, now there was a comment on this, is it just easier if there's five people, you go, just give me five burgers, five nuggets, five fries, five drinks? Or does everybody get to go their individual, what's the, or do you not take account into that at all?

• 59:58H. Foley?

  Yeah, fuck them. What are you talking about?

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  I'm sort of with Foley where it's like, listen, I, I guess it depends, right?

• 1:00:03H. Foley?

  What are we, in Russia? You get what you want. What are you, out of your fucking mind?

• 1:00:09Speaker 03

  This is one of, yeah, as American society is crumbling, one of the few comforts we have is whatever you want from a drive thru menu.

• 1:00:16H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:17Speaker 03

  And I sort of, now, look, if it's the kind of thing where you're just popping over somewhere, it's like, yeah, get a bag of bur, like, if you're showing up at a party, you get a bag of fucking.

• 1:00:25H. Foley?

  I like that.

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  Bag of burgers, bag of nuggets, no one's mad, right?

• 1:00:29H. Foley?

  We've done that, I've done that before.

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  That's a great move. But if it's like, I would say if your party is. Five and un- if you're just a packed car.

• 1:00:38H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:39Speaker 03

  You're fine. Now, if it's a Sprinter van, yeah, yeah, yeah, school bus, Sprinter van, it's a little different. But yeah, and I think, I think you can say like, hey, can we simplify this? Like, if someone's getting a fucking McChicken and one guy's getting the crispy chicken, it's like, how about two? You know what I mean? Just some-

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Let's link it together a little bit.

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  To simplify, but no, at the end of the day, if somebody want, really wants something, you just-

• 1:00:59H. Foley?

  It's fast food, that's two seconds.

• 1:01:01Speaker 03

  You're looking at me like I came up with it, I'm just, you know, I'm a-

• 1:01:04H. Foley?

  I don't like the fact that you brought it up.

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  Don't shoot the messenger, what the fuck?

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, cause oftentimes, it's a real-

• 1:01:08H. Foley?

  Stop it, get him!

• 1:01:09Speaker 03

  It's a real treat. When you're, and especially when you have a car full of people, you're probably high, someone's, you know, one guy's sober, one guy's drunk. Now, that's the other thing, if you're the sober guy, doing a fucking car full of drunks-

• 1:01:20Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck everybody.

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  No, you gotta go one big bag for everybody. You, you listen to what they have to say, and you decide how close. And then, and then, when they're like, they're drunk, you're like, oh my god, can you believe they fucked up your order? Fuck them, you know what I mean? It's like, that's the other thing.

• 1:01:35H. Foley?

  Just eat it, shut up.

• 1:01:36Speaker 03

  That's what it is.

• 1:01:36H. Foley?

  I'll give you that.

• 1:01:37Speaker 03

  And all, and here's the thing, get, get one, get a couple extra things, so if you get twice, two things you didn't really want that much.

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  You're alright with it.

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  You're fine with that.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  I got the bonus nuggets.

• 1:01:49Speaker 03

  It's like, oh yeah, here's an extra fucking quarter pounder.

• 1:01:51H. Foley?

  It's McDonald's, everything's good. There's not one thing on the menu that you wouldn't-

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  And it's all the same shit, McDonald's, Taco Bell, wherever the fuck you're going, it's four ingredients.

• 1:01:58H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Switched up a little bit, you'll be fine.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  Now, when you did that Thanksgiving order, where did you eat that?

• 1:02:03H. Foley?

  What'd you get?

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  Did you pull up and park?

• 1:02:04Speaker 03

  No, I took it to my home.

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  Took it to the home.

• 1:02:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  That's crazy, I grew up like, we pull up and park and eat right there.

• 1:02:10Speaker 03

  It's Thanksgiving.

• 1:02:11H. Foley?

  And I don't appreciate the emphasis on the home. You went to McDonald's on Thanksgiving.

• 1:02:15Speaker 03

  I took it to my home, where I was alone, without, without a wife or children. I took it to my home as a 36-year-old man, my beautiful home, that I share with no one.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  My beautiful vapid home.

• 1:02:28H. Foley?

  You turn the heat off and all the lights, just my one candle?

• 1:02:33H. Foley?

  I feel bad now. What did you get?

• 1:02:36Speaker 03

  I told you already, you motherfucker.

• 1:02:38H. Foley?

  I missed it.

• 1:02:39Speaker 03

  Quarter pounder, a double, or a double quarter pounder, ten McNuggets and, uh, some fries.

• 1:02:44H. Foley?

  That you finished.

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  I did. I did finish, but they were colder than I usually would let them get. Yeah.

• 1:02:51H. Foley?

  Those McDonald's fries, when they get cold.

• 1:02:53Speaker 03

  Not great.

• 1:02:54H. Foley?

  It's over.

• 1:02:55Speaker 03

  Well, I can, because the thing is, I considered being, I considered not eating the fries as sort of like a, well, I didn't eat the whole, that's another fact I think, I didn't.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  You didn't do the whole thing.

• 1:03:03Speaker 03

  But then you always do. I'm, I'm gonna become the thing I hate. A healthy guy that only eats part of his McDonald's order.

• 1:03:10H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 1:03:11Speaker 03

  And then I just, of course, go back. The Ravens are losing, what, I'm gonna fuck it, I'm gonna fucking eat them.

• 1:03:16H. Foley?

  Come on.

• 1:03:16Speaker 03

  You know, I needed some comfort in that moment.

• 1:03:18H. Foley?

  Either die the hero, you live long enough to become the villain.

• 1:03:21Speaker 03

  That's right, absolutely.

• 1:03:22Speaker 01

  Uh, all right, one more food one.

• 1:03:24Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  This is from Aunt Rose. Ten dollar soul sister here, never had one red, no big deal. I have had one red, no big deal.

• 1:03:30H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  I just made a salad in interest of being healthy.

• 1:03:33Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  But there were no croutons left.

• 1:03:35Speaker 03

  I'm out.

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  So I crushed up some Sun Chips in there instead. Thoughts?

• 1:03:39H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  P.S. They were garden, garden salsa flavored.

• 1:03:41Speaker 03

  Ah, garden.

• 1:03:42H. Foley?

  Respect it.

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  From the garden, like the, from the, like the lettuce. The chips is, are, is a garden.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  It's crazy to me, but I get it.

• 1:03:48Speaker 03

  Well, here's what I'll say. I think if you're doing it to be healthy, if you actually meas, if you took a serving of Sun Chips, that's like, whatever calories.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  Eighty calories and whatever.

• 1:03:59Speaker 03

  And you scrumple them up, no harm, no foul.

• 1:04:01H. Foley?

  I don't think so either.

• 1:04:02Speaker 03

  You put some bacon in there, you put some, you put a little bit of cheese to make a salad worthwhile, you put a little dressing in there.

• 1:04:07Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:04:07Speaker 03

  If you're doing that, I actually like it.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  I.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  One time, I didn't have.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Great way to think about it.

• 1:04:11Speaker 03

  I didn't have salt on the road, and I crushed up Cheez-Its and used that as salt. And you know what?

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  What were you making?

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  I, it was like some kind of chicken pasta thing.

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  And it kind of worked. Kinda working. That was sixty cal- I got sixty calories worth of Cheez-Its. Not bad. Check out Stavvy Gets Ripped episode, which episode?

• 1:04:29Speaker 01

  We love it. We're, we're big fans of it over here.

• 1:04:31H. Foley?

  Talk about pushing an analogy to its limits. I like that.

• 1:04:34Speaker 03

  It wasn't even an analogy, just what happened. It's not a metaphor.

• 1:04:36Speaker 01

  That's still a cool, that's still a cool fact.

• 1:04:38Speaker 03

  I literally, I literally used Cheez-Its as salt, the way this woman used garden salsa chips as croutons. So I'm with her.

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  That's a great way to look at it. It's like, yeah, it isn't the best, and I would never do that. I would do five handfuls and then eat some before I wrap the bag up.

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  Of course, of course.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  Uh, and then throw the salad out and get a pizza.

• 1:04:55Speaker 03

  Nothing wrong with a little crunch.

• 1:04:56H. Foley?

  Yeah, a little crunch.

• 1:04:57Speaker 01

  Uh, that's brilliant though. It was like, it probably is the same calories as the fucking, a serving of croutons or whatever. You know, in the same ballpark.

• 1:05:03Speaker 03

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 1:05:04H. Foley?

  When I was living in North Carolina, all I had in my house was a, a bag of that mixed salad.

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  And crack.

• 1:05:09H. Foley?

  Balsamic dressing and, uh, um, what's it called? Saltines. And I would crush them up and use them as, uh, as, uh...

• 1:05:18Speaker 03

  That's fucking cra- that's one of the most fucking depressing things I've ever heard in my life.

• 1:05:22H. Foley?

  It's like the Italians. They didn't, they...

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  It's like the Italians.

• 1:05:24H. Foley?

  But they didn't have cheese, so they would use breadcrumbs instead. That's what fucking Tucci said on one of his shows.

• 1:05:31Speaker 01

  Tucci's full of shit.

• 1:05:32H. Foley?

  Probably one of them knows that.

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  We are anti-Tucci.

• 1:05:34Speaker 03

  Oh, you guys are not Stanley Tucci guys.

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  Hi dude, I'm, it's...

• 1:05:37H. Foley?

  Fuck Tucci.

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  Uh, well, go watch an episode. That motherfucker is lying about speaking Italian. He don't know what the fuck he's talking about.

• 1:05:44H. Foley?

  Welcome back to Pretentious with Stanley Tucci.

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  His motherfucker went, well, he went to Rome once when he was 12 years old for two weeks. And then he's like, "You're the authority? Get the fuck out of here."

• 1:05:53H. Foley?

  I went to lacrosse camp for two weeks too. You don't see me running around with a stick.

• 1:05:57Speaker 01

  And also every time...

• 1:05:59H. Foley?

  That was a bad analogy.

• 1:06:00Speaker 03

  Uh, it's not bad.

• 1:06:01Speaker 01

  Every time, the guy will just speak Italian to him, but...

• 1:06:05Speaker 01

  And go, "Ah, see." And then he cuts. He don't know what the fuck he's saying.

• 1:06:08Speaker 03

  Oh, so your beef with Stanley Tucci is overselling how Italian he is?

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:12H. Foley?

  That's one thing.

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  First, he doesn't even look Italian. He looks Jewish, the guy.

• 1:06:15H. Foley?

  Two.

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  Not that there's anything wrong with that, as you share.

• 1:06:17Speaker 03

  Can you believe it? They're tricking me into watching a Jew on television?

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. My wife's Jewish, she's also on TV.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  We gotta wrap it up here on that note. Great. Just fucking great, Stavvy.

• 1:06:30H. Foley?

  Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Stavros Halkias hitting the road hard.

• 1:06:34Speaker 03

  Please see.

• 1:06:34H. Foley?

  2026.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  Come see the tour. We're coming to a bunch of places, you know, fucking flat. Like I said, put them up here, whatever the fuck. You guys will do it, right?

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  We have a CGI budget.

• 1:06:44Speaker 03

  It's so easy to do. If Val's gonna figure it out, you guys can figure it out.

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  New guy Luke, get on it.

• 1:06:49Speaker 03

  Luke can figure it out. Uh, but yeah, I'm coming all, I'm all over the place. Uh, Boston this weekend, a couple of tickets left. We start the tour.

• 1:06:57H. Foley?

  Four shows at the Wilbur, baby.

• 1:06:58Speaker 03

  It's gonna be really fun. Then we start in Florida and I don't remember where, but you know, Buffalo, we are, I'm coming to Philly.

• 1:07:05H. Foley?

  We'll put it up for you. We'll put it up for you.

• 1:07:07Speaker 03

  Please buy tickets. Uh, yeah, listen to Stavvy's world, the whole thing.

• 1:07:11Speaker 01

  Great.

• 1:07:11H. Foley?

  Stavvy, we love you, buddy. Kippee, what do you got for him?

• 1:07:14Speaker 01

  Uh, guys, we announced our new 2026 dates. Get those tickets. A lot of fun cities planned. Tickets are already moving and then obviously Philly this weekend. Love to see you there.

• 1:07:21H. Foley?

  Stavvy, we love you.

• 1:07:22Speaker 01

  Love you, buddy.

• 1:07:22H. Foley?

  Gary, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.