Conan O’Brien Wants Jason Bateman to Be His Friend

Jason recently joined Conan on his podcast “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend” to talk about everything from the intense pressures of child acting to the iconic actor who wanted to play him in the "Arrested Development" movie. Listen to the full conversation between Jason and Conan on “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend” wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey there, Smartless listeners. Conan O'Brien here. Wanted to let you know I recently had your very own Jason Bateman on my podcast, Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. We talked about Jason's roots as a child star, his breakout role on Arrested Development, and of course, his fellow Smartless co-hosts Sean and Will. Here's a little taste of what we got up to.

• 0:20Jason Bateman?

  You know, the question is, are you Conan O'Brien's friend if you aren't invited to his, to his Christmas party? And you know, there's so many hundreds and hundreds of people.

• 0:28Speaker 00

  We've straightened this out.

• 0:29Jason Bateman?

  You don't, no.

• 0:29Speaker 00

  No, thousands are invited to the Christmas party. I invite thousands and about 50 come. Listen, we're gonna just, because this has been a thing, and then I went on Smartless recently, uh, you know, about you coming to the Christmas party. And it was a thing for a while. You, you, you claim you weren't invited, but...

• 0:46Jason Bateman?

  I was shocked that there was a Christmas party. That, that the Christmas party had been going on for years.

• 0:52Speaker 00

  But you were, I think you were shocked that Christmas was celebrated. Because you're such a Grinch.

• 0:57Jason Bateman?

  That Christmas had something to do with your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It's like...

• 1:06Speaker 00

  Well, listen, the point is, you, you know, let's talk about Smartless. It's a juggernaut. You guys are a...

• 1:12Jason Bateman?

  It's a pretty hard pivot. It's a real, I mean, that was a four-wheel slide.

• 1:16Speaker 00

  Can I say something?

• 1:17Jason Bateman?

  Right?

• 1:18Speaker 00

  I just, I just broke my hip pivoting.

• 1:22Speaker 00

  But no, the point I'm trying to make is, of you three guys, you got Will Arnett, you got Sean, is it Hayes?

• 1:29Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I think it's H-A-Z-E.

• 1:31Speaker 00

  Okay. And then you're Jason?

• 1:35Jason Bateman?

  Bateman.

• 1:35Speaker 00

  Bateman. Okay, there's the three of you, and you're the one that I have trouble getting a beat on. I gotta say, you're the one, you're squirrely. You're squirrely, Bateman. I've always had a problem getting a beat on you. A huge fan of yours, I adore you, but I can't get a beat on the guy. I can't.

• 1:54Jason Bateman?

  Because you can sense that I'm not sure why I'm there? And I don't really, I'm not really sure if I, well, I don't get it. I don't understand why people listen to it. I, I get that Will and Sean are appealing fellas, that's why they're two... My best friends and we're not doing anything more than just the drivel that happens when we're in a car together or at a dinner or how I just don't think that that's monetizable.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  Right.

• 2:22Jason Bateman?

  That you should ask for people's attention to listen to that.

• 2:25Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 2:26Jason Bateman?

  That you can monetize.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  I agree with it about your podcast. I agree because I've checked it out and I'm I'm like, I can't believe that this is something people, I mean, this, what we're doing here.

• 2:38Jason Bateman?

  You've got a full, you've got an array of talent here.

• 2:41Speaker 00

  I'm looking, hold on a second, let me put my glasses on. Even we would disagree with that.

• 2:45Jason Bateman?

  You've done some prep, right? I can see questions there.

• 2:49Speaker 00

  No, no, this is your medical history.

• 2:52Jason Bateman?

  You've got a handsome studio, you've got cameras around. This is very professional.

• 2:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, also.

• 2:57Jason Bateman?

  We're on a Zoom.

• 2:58Speaker 00

  Also, can I just point out, I've been interviewing people around the clock since 1993. I'm a seasoned professional. What Muhammad Ali was to boxing, I am to interviewing.

• 3:10Jason Bateman?

  We can cut all this out. You need lifts.

• 3:15Speaker 00

  But you, yeah, you guys with this, you know, R and N.

• 3:22Jason Bateman?

  But, but in, in, yes, but.

• 3:24Speaker 00

  So I agree with you.

• 3:25Jason Bateman?

  At least Will has just sharp dagger humor. He's got a darkness that's fun to follow.

• 3:32Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 3:32Jason Bateman?

  A voice that's not bad to listen to.

• 3:34Speaker 00

  No, I buy whatever truck he's selling.

• 3:37Jason Bateman?

  Right?

• 3:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:38Jason Bateman?

  I mean, as long as it's professional grade.

• 3:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:41Jason Bateman?

  And he's got, he's got an opinion and he'll let you know it.

• 3:45Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 3:46Jason Bateman?

  Sean P. Hayes is sure is is just pure sunshine and, and is curious and is warm. And I don't, I don't, I'm trying to find the lane that I'm supposed to be in, which is the, the area in between those two, which I guess is just sort of listening and asking questions that I think the normal guy wants to know.

• 4:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:09Jason Bateman?

  You know?

• 4:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:10Jason Bateman?

  And so I'm, I feel I'm easily replaceable.

• 4:13Speaker 00

  Yes, yes, I was gonna say the same thing. I was gonna say, I'm glad you said it. No, no, I, you know, I think you could come, you could go.

• 4:21Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 4:21Speaker 00

  You know, whatever.

• 4:22Jason Bateman?

  Which is kind of what I do in whatever the hell I do on camera too. I'm trying to just kind of be us.

• 4:27Speaker 00

  To hear the rest of the episode, as well as other great conversations I've had with folks like Amy Poehler, Adam Scott, Ben Stiller and more, check out Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever you get your podcasts.