3 Reasons Why We Make Bad Decisions And How To Get In Control Of Our Lives

Happy 2020! I’m so excited to share that I'm kicking off my own podcast book club. We will be picking a book every single month & we will dive deep into the core messages of the book. Today you’ll learn how comparison, money and having multiple options influence our decision making process. With this awareness you’ll be better equipped at making choices. Much gratitude to Dan Ariely for his book Predictably Irrational. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on.

• 1:29Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:16Jay Shetty?

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• 3:00Jay Shetty?

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• 3:10Jay Shetty?

  How many times do you start doing something because your friend likes it? Right, something becomes more attractive when it's relatively attractive to someone else. Or if you can have a phone, that's slightly better. If you can have a laptop, that's slightly better. So we get attracted and tricked in this way and making decisions of when things are presented to us.

• 3:34Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. My name is Jay Shetty and this is the number one place to be in 2020. Now, I know that in 2019, we hadn't yet launched in January, which means we didn't get to start the year off together. But this year, we get to start the year off right. We get to start it together. And I know that all of you that were listening throughout 2019 and in the beginning of 2020 got so many insights from our podcast, whether it was with guests or whether it was my weekly workshops, wherever it was. But this is what I want you to know. This year, we can start the year off together, which means we can set you up for even more happiness, even more success,

• 4:17Jay Shetty?

  and most importantly, to live a life on purpose. And this year, I have got so many exciting new Podcast in store for you. This isn't just other incredible guests that are gonna be bringing their insight from culture to academia to research to personally transformational stories, but we're also going to dive deeper into new formats in my weekly workshops just like the one you're listening to now. So here's one that I'm super excited about that I wanna share with you, which is totally fresh. And by the way, if you're a new listener, make sure you subscribe so you never miss out on an episode. If you've been listening for a long time, make sure you subscribe so you never miss out on a new episode.

• 5:00Jay Shetty?

  And if you have subscribed and you listen every week, please, please, please leave a review. I'm gonna be reading out some of my favorite reviews at the end of this episode. So I'm excited. I promised you new ideas. I promised you new content and new impact. And so here it is. Every month, and this is something that's kicking off and you're a part of it. You're a part of the first ever one that I'm doing, right? I'm kicking off my own podcast book club. So we're gonna be picking a book every single month that I'm gonna dive deeply into in the podcast and share insights about with you. So I'm not just doing a review, I'm sharing with you my favorite insights and reflections

• 5:45Jay Shetty?

  and how they can help you and how you can apply it in your own life. And then it's up to you. You can read the book if you like, but you don't need to because we're actually gonna dive deep into it. But I highly recommend reading some of these books or getting them on the audiobook because these are books, I'm picking books that are books that have really had an impact on my life that I really believe are gonna make a difference in yours. And their insights are truly fascinating and truly unique. Now, why am I doing this? I used to run a show at HuffPost a couple of years ago called Follow the Reader. And I loved it because I really believe that Books have a superpower because when someone sits down to write a book, and I know this because I just

• 6:29Jay Shetty?

  finished writing my first book and it's gonna be out later this year, but when you write a book, it's such an immersive, engaging process. Right, like I was spending about five hours a day for the last twelve months working on my book. And so much of my energy went into it, the resets, the insights, the stories, the transitions, there's such a focus that when someone puts something into a book, it's it's really a unique and special effort. It's the most powerful work that someone can do because it takes everything, right? It takes all they have. And especially the books I'm gonna recommend to you. They're books that are so profoundly, deeply researched. That's what are the books that I love, that I I fell in love with when I was a teenager.

• 7:12Jay Shetty?

  And these books are books that I truly believe when you apply the insights, that they will transform the way you live and the way you think every single day. So if you're ready, I'm ready. And I can't wait to tell you about the first book that I'm going to choose this year. And it is called Predictably Irrational by Dan O'Reilly. And the subtitle is The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions. Right, the hidden forces that shape our decisions. I've got the book in my hand right now. And I'm reading off the back cover, just to just to give you a bit of an insight, this is the book that you'd like to read. So it says, why do our headaches persist after taking a cheap painkiller?

• 7:55Jay Shetty?

  But disappear when we take a more expensive one. Have you ever thought of that? Why does recalling the ten commandments reduce our tendency to lie even when we couldn't possibly be caught? And finally, why do we splurge on an expensive meal but cut out vouchers to save twenty five pence on a tin of soup? Right, when it comes to making decisions in our life, we think we're in control, we think we're making smart, rational choices. But are we, right, are we? So this is all about a book, all about how we make choices and decisions. And it's called Predictably Irrational because the author's suggesting that we make predictably irrational decisions consistently.

• 8:36Jay Shetty?

  Now, this is a book that I've read pretty much close to when it probably came out. I'm just flicking through the book to see if I can find out when it came out. So it says two thousand and nine. So I probably read it around that time. I think I pretty much read it that year. And I'd I'd read behavioral science before that, but I think this was a book that really got me hooked on to the genre because I really understood what it was about. And it just it just changed the game for me because I loved learning about why we do what we do, why we make predictably irrational decisions. And how we can train our mind to stop doing that. I mean, how many of you? First of all, when you hear that, how many of you get defensive? How many of you go, no, no, no, I definitely make my own choices. I I'm in charge of my decisions. I'm.

• 9:20Jay Shetty?

  I'm really an independent thinker. How many of you? How many of you is that your first response, right? If that's your first response? Uh, let me know. I I wanna know if that's your first response. How many of you listen to that and go? Actually, that that might be true. Like, I wonder, I'm intrigued. Like, let me, let me, let me find out. Let me take a look. Let me. Let me see if there's any truth in that. Now, I'm of the second opinion. That I may have grown up, especially in my early days, and I think we're all like this. When we're growing up, we're thinking, I'm in charge of my decisions. I know what I'm doing. I'm choosing what I wear. I choose my friends. I choose the music I listen to. I choose, I choose, I choose. And we.

• 9:58Jay Shetty?

  We built up this version in our head where we feel that we are independently making choices. But as you're about to see from this book and as we see when we grow up. Our choices are actually based on so much more than what we think. So what's really happening behind the scenes is we think we're making a choice, but remember, you're choosing from the options presented. And not only from the options presented, but the way they're presented, right? The way they're presented as well. Now, now, what I want you to do is if you're listening to this episode right now. I want you to tell me your insight on this, whether you're someone who feels you make your own choices, or whether you feel that.

• 10:42Jay Shetty?

  It is defined by the options that are presented and the way they're presented to you. And I want you to send me a text right now on. Plus one, three, one, zero, nine, nine, seven, four, one, seven, seven. So that's plus one, three, one, zero, nine, nine, seven, four, one, seven, seven. Text me right now. I wanna know the way you see it. And I'm gonna try and text back as many people as I can as well. I wanna know which way you see it. But Predictably Irrational is the book we're gonna focus on for our first uh book choice of the year. And the reason why I wanna start this is because. I think we all live in this age today where. We have so many decisions to make. We are constantly struggling with making decisions. So what better way to start?

• 11:26Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colours, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance style, budget and endless options.

• 12:11Jay Shetty?

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• 12:54Jay Shetty?

  Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision-making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbour, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

• 13:41Jay Shetty?

  Now I'm gonna start, what I've done is, there's plenty of chapters in the book, I'm just flicking through the book to tell you how many. So there's around thirteen chapters in the book. I'm just picking out three chapters that I absolutely love and I'm gonna give you a deep dive on them. So hopefully you enjoy this as well. And I can't wait to hear your feedback on this episode. It's something new that we haven't done before, but I really, really think that it's gonna be a fun episode to do. Because I know you guys always ask me, what are your top ten book lists? And, you know, what have you got going on in terms of what books do you recommend? So here's a good way of doing it. So, this is awesome. This chapter is called "The Truth About Relativity: Why Everything Is Relative Even When It Shouldn't Be." Now, this is probably one of my favorite, favorite examples from Dan. He's phenomenal, he's a brilliant communicator, like he's genuinely amazing.

• 14:26Jay Shetty?

  And he does all his own studies and partners up with other researchers to do studies as well. But he talks about how like one day, when he was on the internet and just browsing, he came across the online website of The Economist. And when he looked at The Economist, they had three sets of subscriptions presented, right? So subscribing to The Economist. The first offer was just the online subscription for fifty-nine dollars, right? So for fifty-nine dollars for twelve months, I believe. The second option, which was the print subscription, was a hundred and twenty-five dollars, right? And then the third option, which was the print and the online subscription, was also a hundred and twenty-five dollars.

• 15:11Jay Shetty?

  And he says he read it twice before his eye ran back to the previous options. And he was thinking to himself, like, who would want to buy the print option alone, right? He was wondering, like, why would anyone want to do this? Like, why would anyone just wanna buy the print option? And obviously you would go ahead and buy the print and online, because it was more value. So, just to get you the prices again. The first offer for the online subscription was fifty-nine dollars. The print subscription on its own was a hundred and twenty-five, and you could get both for a hundred and twenty-five. Now... This is the fascinating thing that it's like these three options presented there. Made him wanna call the economist and he says, wait a minute, why would anyone get the print on its own for a hundred and twenty five dollars?

• 15:54Jay Shetty?

  When you can actually get the online and print for a hundred and twenty five dollars, like, why would you do that to yourself? Obviously, you would get both. Now, this was crazy because he says when he made the call to the economist, right? They actually took off that option, they took off the second option. And they, it was, it was weird, like, he says it literally, you know, they told him it was an error or something like that, and it disappeared that day. And it's interesting because he suggests that the marketing wizards, as he called them, behind the economist. Actually knew that by putting that middle option in, you were more likely to go for the hundred and twenty five dollars. Because you'd be like, wow, what a bargain, than go for the fifty nine dollars only.

• 16:37Jay Shetty?

  So the, the, the learning here is we don't, and this is, this is from Dan's words, we don't have an internal value meter. That tells us how much things are worth. Like, for example, if someone just showed you a car without a logo, like it didn't have a Mercedes or an Audi or a. You know, or a Porsche or a Toyota or a Honda or a Nissan, like, if it didn't have the logo on it. How would you define its worth? Right? How would you know how much it was worth as a car? Imagine you'd never seen a car before. So we don't have an internal value meter. That tells us how much things are worth. Rather, he says, we focus on the relative advantage of one thing over another.

• 17:20Jay Shetty?

  And estimate value accordingly. So we compare things next to each other. And that's why when things are presented like this, we think, oh, well, fifteen dollars for the online, that makes sense. But actually, if I could get the print and the online for a hundred and twenty five dollars, because the print alone is a hundred and twenty five dollars, then I must have to take it. Right? It sounds like it makes sense. And so he went forward and actually started doing these studies. With his students, so he gave them these options as well. So he gave the same economist study to his students at university. And this was at MIT's Sloan School of Management. And he did it with a hundred students. So he gave them the three options.

• 18:03Jay Shetty?

  So internet-only subscription of fifty-nine dollars, print-only subscription for a hundred and twenty-five dollars, and print and internet subscription for a hundred and twenty-five dollars. Sixteen students chose just the online. Zero students chose the print only. And eighty-four students took the print and the internet. And that made sense. They they went for the deal where they thought they were getting the most value. But now what he did is he took out that middle option. He took out the option of print at one hundred and twenty-five dollars. And he thought, okay, well, who's going to go just for the online? And who's going to go for the print and the online? And he found sixty-eight percent now went for just the online as opposed to sixteen percent before.

• 18:47Jay Shetty?

  And now thirty-two percent went for the print and web, where there is eighty-four percent before. So simply removing that middle option switched to more people buying the cheaper option of just the online. They were now less tempted to go for the full package, which makes perfect sense because you're now not comparing that value. So notice how when we think we're making choices, so much of it is about the way things are presented to us. And he went further to do a really funny example where he he gave people the choice of two people, whether they'd want to go for person A or person B. So if you walked into a bar and you looked at two people and you were asked, you know, who do you want to be with, A or B? And he showed them computer versions, not real people.

• 19:32Jay Shetty?

  Obviously, you wouldn't want to do that to real people. And people had to pick whether they'd choose A or B. And people would decide, okay, I'll choose A or I'll choose B. And then he added a third option, which was a slightly less good-looking version of A or B. And every time he did that, people went for the slightly better-looking version of A or B. So if he he jokes, he jokes that if you're going to take someone out with you, choose a slightly less better-looking version, a good-looking version than you, because you're always making things relative. We're always comparing things next to each other. It's how the mind tricks us. We think that something is more attractive when it's put next to something close but less attractive. This is messing us up.

• 20:18Jay Shetty?

  How many times do you choose something just because your friend thinks it's attractive right now? How many times do you start doing something because your friend likes it? Right, something becomes more attractive when it's relatively attractive to someone else. Or if you can have a phone, that's slightly better. If you can have a laptop, that's slightly better. So we get attracted and tricked in this way and making decisions of when things are presented to us. So this is something we can be wary of and watch out for when we're making decisions. As to are we making decisions based on what we're looking for, what's really important to us? Because otherwise, you actually, you might just want the online subscription for fifty nine dollars. But you end up spending a hundred and twenty five dollars. Right, you end up spending a lot more.

• 21:00Jay Shetty?

  Now, subscription sites aren't doing the three tiers. You know, most subscription sites just do one tier these days. But it's important to think about where in our life we get certain options like this. And we don't always make the best decisions. So anyway, that's one of my favorite chapters. Highly recommend watching Daniel Riley's talk on this as well. It's brilliant. Now, the the second chapter I want to focus on is chapter four. And it's called the cost of social norms. Why we are happy to do things, but not when we're paid to do them. Listen to that carefully. Why we are happy to do things, but not when we're paid to do them. Now, you may think, well, I actually like getting paid to do my work. And you might be quite right there. You know, I think most of us would like to get paid to do our work.

• 21:45Jay Shetty?

  But there are certain things we don't want to get paid for, like the example that he gives is, you know, so your family cooking a Thanksgiving meal for you. Or you helping your friend move, right? Imagine you helped your friend move and at the end of it, your friend goes, oh, here's your tip. Or how much will that be for the hours you spent with me? You'd find it weird, right? You'd find it strange. You'd be like, no, but I really wanted to help you. I wanted to go out my way for you. Or let's say you had a, I don't know, you had a friend who got an injury and you helped them in hospital. Or you had a friend who had a project and you helped them prepare for their interview. Imagine they were like, okay, I'm going to give you your fees. Like, you wouldn't want to accept that. You know, it would feel weird to accept that. You probably would choose against it.

• 22:25Jay Shetty?

  And so what he talks about is how there are social norms that include like friendly requests that people make of one another. Right, those are called social norms. But there's also market norms which are governed by money and a transaction. And he goes that it gets messy when they get mixed up. So what they did, listen to this carefully, uh, just to make sure that makes sense to you. So there are social norms, like you don't wanna get paid to help your friends. And then there are transactional norms where you want to get paid when you're asked to do something. And what he was measuring is when do we do more, when do we actually go above and beyond? So in this experiment, this is re- reading from the book, in this experiment, a circle was presented on the left side of a computer screen

• 23:07Jay Shetty?

  and a box was presented on the right side of a computer screen. The task given to the participants was to drag the circle using the mouse of the computer onto the square. So dragging the circle from the left to the right. Once the circle was successfully dragged to the square, it disappeared from the screen and a new circle appeared. So they've chosen a really, this is what I love about scientific studies, they choose a really abstract task that doesn't have any meaning attached to it so that you can really measure human behaviour because there's no emotional connection to circles and squares, there's no mysterious emotional intellectual connection here. So just, just to throw that out there. He goes on to say, "We asked the participants to drag as many circles as they could

• 23:51Jay Shetty?

  and we measured how many circles they dragged within five minutes." He says, "This was our measure of their labour output, the effort that they would put into this task." Now, let's see what people did, so, so listen to this carefully. Some of the participants received five dollars for participating, right? There's five dollars for getting into it. Uh, the second group were presented with the same basic instructions, but for them the reward was much lower, fifty cents only, right? In one experiment and ten cents in another. And then there was a third group and for that third group it was social norms. So they didn't offer a participant anything, but they just didn't mention money and it was a favour just for help. So you've got that, you've got three groups taking part in the same activity.

• 24:35Jay Shetty?

  The first one's getting five dollars, the second one's getting fifty cents, and the third one is getting nothing, but is told it's a favor, it's really helping people out. Now, think about this, how hard did the different groups work? In line with the ethos of market norms, those who received five dollars dragged on average a hundred and fifty nine circles. And those who received fifty cents dragged on average a hundred and one circles. So those making less money performed less than those who made more money. Now, remember, these are people of similar intellect, similar background. It's not, and it's not, it doesn't, it's not a task that requires brain, it's speed, right? As expected, more money caused our participants to be more motivated and work harder by fifty percent. That's huge if you think about it.

• 25:18Jay Shetty?

  So people getting paid five dollars outperformed those getting paid fifty cents or ten cents. Now, listen to this, though. What about the group that did it for social norms as a favor with no money? Did these participants work less than the ones who got low monetary payment? Or what happened? This is what the results showed, that on average, they dragged one hundred and sixty eight circles, much more than those who were paid fifty cents, and just slightly more than those who were paid five dollars. He says, in other words, our participants worked harder under the non-monetary social norms than for the almighty buck, he says. So perhaps we should have anticipated this, he said. There are many examples to show that people work more for a cause than for cash.

• 26:02Jay Shetty?

  So when money is mentioned, we switch on market norms. We go, okay, how much am I being paid for this? How much effort am I putting in? When we're not asked for money, and it's a social good or it's a cause, we do more. And this is what I love about, the message I'm trying to get across to you here is, when you're doing something you love, when you're doing something you believe in, when you're doing something that's meaningful to you, you will work harder. This is why you're more likely to fail at things that you're not good at. And that you don't love, then you do love. So if you're doing something that you don't love and you don't find meaningful, you're actually more likely to fail at it.

• 26:41Jay Shetty?

  Because you will work less hard, because the only value in it is monetary. Listen to this, this is, this is my takeaway from reading this. If your only value from something is monetary. You're less likely to give it your all. And if you're less likely to give it your all, you're more likely to fail or under deliver or. Lack productivity, whereas when your heart's in it. Even if the money isn't great, and I remember I used to have this conversation with my dad all the time when I was. Thinking about quitting my corporate job and starting to do what I do today. And I used to say to my dad, I used to be like, dad, you know. I don't mind if I, if I start off making less money and it's harder because I know I'm going to work harder. And because I'm going to work harder, I know that someone's going to notice this, like this is gonna make an impact. Someone's going to see this.

• 27:27Jay Shetty?

  And, and this is what I want you to take away, that you will work harder for a cause. And so if you feel your career is a cause, if you feel your passion is a cause, if you feel your relationship is a cause. All of that, right? Like, no one can pay you to be the perfect boyfriend. No one can pay you to be the perfect husband. No one can pay you to be the perfect wife. Or whatever it is, like, no one can pay you to do that. You do it because you believe in it, you love it. And you think about parents and you think about mothers and fathers, the amount they give to their children. Without being paid, without having any monetary value. We do so much more. And so it's a really, really important point to take on. And he goes on to talk about something really fascinating about how so many companies.

• 28:10Jay Shetty?

  Pretend to have social norms, not pretend, I take that back. He talks about how many companies are trying to have. Social norms, like they're trying to tell their employees that they care about them. But as soon as there's sick leave or there's a mistake, then it goes back to market norms. So you can't basically transition and. Intervene in a relationship between market and social norms constantly. Like you can't just go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. It's it's not a good thing to do in a relationship and that's sometimes why we struggle in our social relationships because they all of a sudden become transactional. This is why it's hard to work with friends or hard to work with your partner in a in a financial relationship as well as as well as a romantic or friendship based relationship.

• 28:53Jay Shetty?

  Because you're now mixing market and social norms and so it's sometimes easier until your friendship develops and you really understand that you can keep things separate to keep money and friendship separate because it's very, very complicated if you merge the two too early on. So that was the second chapter I want to place a highlight on. By the way, I hope you're loving this episode so far and getting a lot of value from it. Dan O'Reilly's book's great, like I'm saying, I'm, you know, I'm doing this. I've I've actually never met Dan. We've been introduced a couple of times on email and I'm hoping we'll get him on the podcast as well. But he's he's just an awesome, you know, his books, his book's amazing, so highly recommend it. And the third chapter I want to shed some light on is it's chapter eight and it's called Keeping Doors Open.

• 29:38Jay Shetty?

  Why options distract us from our main objective? How many of you feel you make worse decisions because you have more options, right? Like you're looking at a menu at a restaurant. This is this is my example. You're you're at a restaurant, you're looking at the menu and you think, oh, maybe today's the day to try something new. Or sometimes you think, oh, no, maybe I should stick to what I always get. How many of you look at a menu and you go, wow, this is too many options. You've got thirty options or you've got thirty options of like a liquid cleaner like for the house. So you've got thirty options of deodorants and you're like, what? Like, what am I going to choose? And you end up getting almost paralyzed by that choice and you make a bad decision. Now, he gives the example and he says Dana, another student of his,

• 30:23Jay Shetty?

  uh, had a problem centered on two boyfriends, right? I'm guessing he means, you know, like dating two people at the same time or trying to make their mind up. So he said she could dedicate her energy and passion to a person she had met recently and she hoped build an enduring relationship with him. Or she could continue to put time and effort into a previous relationship that was dying. She clearly liked the new boyfriend better than the first one. Yet she couldn't let the early relationship go. Meanwhile, her new boyfriend was getting restless. So Dan asked her, do you really want to risk losing the boy you loved? And he says, for the remote possibility that you may discover it some late today, that you love your former boyfriend more. And she shook her head and said, no, and broke into tears. Now, listen to what he says. What is it about options that is so difficult for us?

• 31:08Jay Shetty?

  Why do we feel compelled to keep as many doors open as possible, even at great expense? Why can't we simply commit ourselves? Now, he goes on to share some really interesting research here. So what he finds when he does research into this area is that he finds that people who try and leave more doors open more often actually struggle to be successful. So in, he says that in nineteen forty-one, the philosopher Eric Fromm wrote a book called Escape from Freedom. He said, in a modern democracy, people are beset not by a lack of opportunity, but by a dizzying abundance of it. In our modern society, this is emphatically so.

• 31:50Jay Shetty?

  We're continually reminded that we can do anything and be anything we want to be. So he goes on to say that we must develop ourselves in every way possible, must taste every aspect of life, must make sure that of the thousand things to see before dying, we have not stopped at number nine nine nine. But then comes a problem. Are we spreading ourselves too thin, he says? The temptation Fromm was describing, I believe, is what we saw as we watched our participants racing from one door to another. So the conclusion that he paints here is that we shouldn't run from one door to another, it's better to commit. Now, this is my take on it, that I think when you're trying to find what you want to do, you have to move around. So the bigger mistake we make is never moving around, staying in a

• 32:32Jay Shetty?

  home or a room or a space or a job or whatever metaphorically, where you actually feel imprisoned. That's not good, that's not what we're talking about. But when you find momentum in something, go with it, roll with it. I remember when my videos first started to get traction, I was speaking at companies at that time, I was doing corporate coaching. I was obviously building my career in technology, uh, at a big corporate company, and I was making videos. And out of the three, all three were doing pretty well, but the one that really gained momentum was me making videos. Videos and so I switched my whole focus onto creating content because that's what was getting the most momentum. And so often what we do, if something's getting momentum, we move away from it because we think, oh, that's doing well already.

• 33:16Jay Shetty?

  That's a mistake. If something's doing well already, imagine how well it would do if you gave it all your energy, if you gave it all your focus. So these are the three big lessons of today. The first one is remember when you're making a choice, what are you comparing it to? And do you only like it because you compared it to something less or have you looked at it for its own value in your life? The second lesson is why we're happy to do things, but when not when we pay to do them, how can we make more things in our life a cause? How can we make more things on our life a mission and a purpose rather than making it just a monetary value where we will not perform? And not be as productive and therefore not reap the rewards. And the third lesson is,

• 34:00Jay Shetty?

  why do we let multiple options distract us? Well, why not test, test, test, see what gains momentum? And then commit to a path. Everyone, it has been amazing. I'm so excited to share. Our first book club, Read Predictably Irrational, go and grab the book. If you haven't read it before, like I said, Dana Riley, great author, has written some incredible, incredible books. And I'm so glad to be doing this type of episode with you. I hope you're all enjoying as well. And I'm going to read some of my favorite reviews from the podcast. This is from iTunes. Uh, that are coming up recently. We now have eleven thousand five star reviews, which is incredible. Thanks to each and every single one of you.

• 34:45Jay Shetty?

  So I'm taking a look. So P. Von Sorella said this twenty two hours ago from when I'm recording this. On purpose has helped me so much and I love hearing straight from Jay, the meaning and purpose behind so much human behavior in life. Your scientific yet sympathetic approach to life is sublime. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I love that. And I'm so glad that I read that out for this episode because this has definitely been scientific, uh, for sure. So thank you so much. That really, really helps. Now, this is. Clarice Gomez, Jay, host of the On Purpose Podcast, highlights all aspects of health, fitness and more in this can't miss podcast. The host and expert guests offer insightful advice and information that is helpful to anyone who listens. That's amazing. Thank

• 35:30Jay Shetty?

  you so much. This is one of my favorite ones from Jose. Jay, thank you for always making us all feel like we've known you our whole lives. You're always caring, compassionate, holding us accountable and optimistic no matter the situation. Your words are genuine, authentic, and we definitely appreciate your work. Well, I really, really appreciate this. This means the world to me. I'm going to be trying to read three to five reviews every time we do the podcast because I really, really value these reviews. Make sure you go and leave one. These were all five star reviews that I read. And I really, really can't wait for all the new exciting content that's coming this month. There are so many more exciting, these weekly workshops. I'm just going to blow your mind based on what

• 36:15Jay Shetty?

  we have. So we're adding this to the mix, the book club, and we've got something else coming soon that I'm going to add to. So thank you so much, everyone, for listening. Sending you lots of love. Really appreciate you. Can't wait to meet you all one day and really, really excited to, yeah, just to meet you all one day, genuinely. Have an incredible week wherever you are and stay on purpose.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.