Ask Jay: How Do I Find My Purpose?

Jay answers three listener calls about rebuilding when life doesn’t go according to plan. He explores how to separate your authentic voice from old survival patterns, pursue a creative passion without putting your financial stability at risk, and manage overwhelm when everything feels equally important. Jay shares practical ways to recognize real growth, balance stability with passion, and prioritize what matters most instead of trying to do everything at once. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Mazda crafts cars for people who do more than simply move. Visit Mazdausa.com to learn more. Consumer reports does not endorse products or services. Your future is waiting, and Walden is here to help you achieve it. https://WaldenU.edu JAY'S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What I Discuss: 00:00 Introduction 00:24 Purpose as Direction, Not a Destination 01:22 Rebuilding After A Crisis 02:24 Survival Patterns Vs. Authentic Inner Voice 07:13 Balancing Financial Stability With Creative Passion 08:29 Rejecting The Either/Or Trap 15:15 How to Prioritize When Everything Feels Like a Priority 16:41 You Don’t Have to Do Everything at Once Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process. And once something sells,

• 1:30Jay Shetty?

  Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees. So you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. And if you've been thinking about a wardrobe refresh, this can make it feel a little more worthwhile. You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees. So you keep every dollar you earn.

• 2:02Jay Shetty?

  Hey, it's Jay. I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute. And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself because you deserve it. And yeah, I'll talk to you soon.

• 2:25Jay Shetty?

  Some feelings are too big, too messy, too complicated to fit in a text. I know you don't know what I'm talking about. So you stop typing, hit record, and just talk. That's what you sent me and I'm grateful for it. Today, we're opening up a conversation about purpose. We often treat purpose like a finish line. We think if he just reached that big goal, get that promotion, or finally find that one thing that makes everything click, we'll be satisfied. But purpose is not a trophy you collect at the end of a race. It is the fuel you use while you are running. Whether you're feeling stuck in the middle, burnt out by your own success, or searching for meaning that lasts longer than a single achievement, you are not lost. You're just learning how to build a mission

• 3:09Jay Shetty?

  that matters more than a milestone. What you're about to hear are real stories from real people who are part of this community. Maybe you could be one of them in the future. I can't wait to dive in.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  I'm in my mid 40s and within a pretty short period of time, I faced breast cancer at the end of a long marriage. And also a realization that the career path that I worked so hard to build no longer suits me or feels like what I want. For most of my life, I've been the reliable one for everyone else that worked and personally and appear pretty capable before me, even when I was feeling completely depleted. Those traits that helped me succeed. I became really good at meeting expectations, keeping everything together. But in that process, I lost touch with what I really wanted for myself. Kind of examine my life and where I want to go while recovering physically and emotionally.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  Sometimes I struggle to know whether the pull is genuine inner guidance or if it's simply another attempt to prove myself. So my question is, how do you tell the difference between your authentic inner voice and the survival patterns that you've been guiding your decisions for years?

• 4:22Jay Shetty?

  Well, thank you for that question. I want to start by just acknowledging the courage it takes to even ask this question. I find many people survive what you've survived. But they never stop to ask whether the life they're returning to is actually the one they want. And that's fine because sometimes the pain can be so overbearing. But you're doing something really hard. You're examining not just what happened to you, but who you've become because of it. Now, there was something you said that really stood out to me. You said, "What I called strength was actually adaptation." And that's an incredibly profound reflection. Adaptation can keep us alive through difficult seasons.

• 5:08Jay Shetty?

  But the strategies that help us survive aren't always the ones that help us truly live. Right? You can develop a tool or a habit because it helps you get to the top of the mountain. But that doesn't mean that same tool or habit will help you get to the core and the depths of yourself. And so I want you to think a bit broader about this. And this applies to everyone who's ever been in this position of finding, is this their authentic path? Is this their passion? Is this their purpose? The question isn't whether writing or speaking or coaching are the right path for you. The deeper question is, who is making the decision? Is it the part of you that believes your worth comes from being useful and productive? Or is it the part of you that feels most alive

• 5:53Jay Shetty?

  when you're helping people from a place of wholeness rather than expectation? I want to draw a bit of a difference for you between what survival patterns look like and what your authentic voice looks like. I've found that survival patterns usually are a bit urgent. They're full of pressure. They're like, figure it out now. Do more, become more valuable, don't fall behind. Keep proving yourself. You've got more to show. And your authentic voice is often a little gentler. It's a little more quiet. It doesn't demand that you earn your worth. It's more of like an invite into, hey, I think this might be right for you. It's like a little nudge, like a gentle friend.

• 6:38Jay Shetty?

  And so the question I want you to ask yourself is, if no one ever praised me, paid me, or recognized me for this, would I still feel drawn to it? I remember in my own life, when I was wondering what I wanted to do, I was doing this in rooms of three to five people. I would spend three hours a night, sometimes three nights a week, just helping people. I didn't get paid for it. I didn't get praised for it. Didn't have any followers, but it was beautiful. I loved it. And so I carried on doing it. So if for you, the answer is yes, I'd do this if I didn't get paid, praised, or recognized, you're probably getting closer to something genuine. Another clue is what happens when you're preparing to do the work and after you do it.

• 7:23Jay Shetty?

  Survival leaves you feeling like you have to keep running just to stay relevant, just to stay enough. Authentic work, it can still be difficult and challenging. But underneath the effort, there's a sense of peace, alignment. So you really have to observe yourself in the moment. I kind of think about it like when you go to a restaurant, when you walk out, you know whether you like the ambiance of the restaurant. You know whether you like the service or the food because you check in with yourself. So sometimes you have to do the act, not just think about it. You actually have to do it. Maybe you try some coaching, try some writing. And then you check in with yourself and ask, how did this feel? Did it feel authentic and real? Or did it just feel hard? Did it just feel fake or put on? And I want to share one more thing.

• 8:08Jay Shetty?

  You don't have to solve your identity in your head. Right? Clarity doesn't come from thinking. It comes from living. So write before you become a writer. Coach before you become a coach. Speak before you become a speaker. Let the experience teach you what thinking can never do. Arthur Brooks' "Success Trap" is the exact mechanism you're naming. The reflex to reach for the next achievement as a way to feel like enough, mistaken for a calling. In his bestselling book, "From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life", Arthur Brooks talks about how chasing external rewards

• 8:51Jay Shetty?

  raises your wants faster than your achievements, leaving you perpetually unsatisfied. And so I don't think you sound like that at all. I think you're somebody who wants to work from a place of purpose and fulfillment. But that's the way to know. Are you simply chasing a version of how you want people to see you? Or are you pursuing how you want to see yourself? This episode of On Purpose is presented to you by Mazda. Peace of mind doesn't happen by chance. It's created through the habits we build before we ever need them. That's the philosophy behind every Mazda. With proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged, Mazda helps you feel ready for whatever the road brings.

• 9:33Jay Shetty?

  It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any other car brand. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit mazdausa.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  Hi. I recently left my corporate career to put focus on my mental health. I've been a creative director working in corporate marketing for over 10 years. And I started feeling like I really lost my personal and unique creative perspective. And so I left my job. When I did that, I decided that I should give myself six months of working on a passion project. And so I started a podcast. It's been really, really fulfilling. It has allowed me to express my creativity in the way that I want to. But I'm approaching that six-month mark pretty soon. And I know that things take time.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  And the podcast has developed this like small, very loyal fan base that seems to be growing. But I have also never had this level of financial instability before. I'm wrestling with looking for a corporate job and just like diving back into that world, letting the podcast be a beautiful way for me to find my creative voice again. So my question is, what are the things that I need to ask myself in order to make the right move here?

• 11:14Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much for that question. I can relate to so much of what you said. So I'll be sharing some of my personal reflections as well. But I want to start by saying, well done for having the foresight and the vision to pull away from your work. Because when you've been doing something for 10 years, it's really, really hard to step away. And so the fact that you had the courage to actually say, I want to protect my mental health. I want to pursue creative things. I want to follow my instinct and my intuition is an incredible step forward. It isn't a step behind. So well done for taking that step, truly. I see so many people who keep pushing themselves, maybe reach burnout or close enough,

• 11:58Jay Shetty?

  and only take time when they break to do it proactively is a phenomenal step in self-awareness and moving forward. Now, what I'll say to you is, you initially did this knowing you wanted six months out. And what's beautiful is that it sounds like it's been beneficial. I feel like you sound like you feel good about this decision. You also have discovered the podcast, which I'm so happy. You're building a small, loyal following. It means you're really having an impact on people. And I'm so glad that you're getting to see the value you have to bring others as well. And the questions I'd be asking are actually not so much about, do you go back into your job? Do you work on the podcast? Do you have to choose either or?

• 12:43Jay Shetty?

  The question I'd actually be asking yourself is, how do I do both in a way that allows me to feel good about myself and what I'm doing? How do I allow myself to not experience financial instability, but also not experience creative breakdown? Right before this moment, you had financial stability, but you didn't have a creative outlet. You didn't have that sense of balance and calm that I assume you're experiencing right now. And what you don't want now is that you have the calm, you have the outlet, but you don't have the financial stability. We want to live in a world where these two can coexist because both of them have an impact on your mental health. Right? I think often we live in a time right now that says, work's really stressful,

• 13:27Jay Shetty?

  and I just need a break for my mental health. Not realizing that not having work, the financial stability, the routine, the rhythm, the colleagues, some sort of pattern, that can also be hard for our mental health. And so what we have to look at it and say is, what type of work? How many hours could you work a week? What type of colleagues do you need to be around? What type of workplace environment do you want to function in in order to not feel that desire to run away, get away and escape? What does that look like? What are your new standards that you're going back to the world of work with, where you won't settle for less, where you won't compromise on your needs? Those are the types of questions I'd be asking yourself.

• 14:09Jay Shetty?

  That job exists, that work exists, you being clear about that exists. And you knowing what you won't settle for is going to make all the difference. At the same time, you have to choose some work that doesn't stop you from doing this podcast. You found a sense of purpose, you found meaning, you found value and fulfillment in it, and you don't want to give it up. You've created patterns and rhythms and habits right now that seem like they're suiting you. How can you prioritize them in your life so that you don't forget to incorporate them when you go back? This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs.

• 14:53Jay Shetty?

  Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need them most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast. That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.

• 15:36Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweetness and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. Back into work. Don't make your purpose responsible for your paycheck. Don't put pressure on your passion to become your paycheck right now.

• 16:20Jay Shetty?

  It's okay to work a job that pays the bills. A job is what funds your life. It doesn't have to be the place where your soul does its best work. It can do good work, wonderful work, but it doesn't have to be the thing you dream of doing. I remember when I was in a similar position to you, where I was working a corporate job, and at the same time, I was creating videos online. And at the same time, I was coaching people offline. And at the same time, I was doing keynote speeches, all on top of my work. And my work allowed me to explore all these other avenues. And I also brought my passions into work. I remember becoming a mental health ambassador at work.

• 17:05Jay Shetty?

  I remember teaching mindfulness and meditation at work, which made work more meaningful. Take your passion into the workplace. Find your purpose in the workplace as well. Take this mental health podcast and make it useful to wherever you go so that you get to integrate your life, not disconnect it. What's really fascinating to me is that if you try and make your podcast your paycheck right now, it can put so much pressure on the creativity. The thing that currently brings you so much joy can very quickly turn into a source of pain. I've seen this time and time and time again, that when someone quits their job, they're doing their passion that brings them joy, and all of a sudden, their passion isn't paying the bills, and now their passion becomes a pain and a source of pressure.

• 17:50Jay Shetty?

  You want to allow it to continue to be a passion, continue to grow organically, continue to develop, and keep building a beautiful fan base. And at the same time, have a source of income that doesn't cause you too much stress, that isn't causing you too much imbalance. Now, I know you're thinking, Jay, that sounds like a perfect scenario. Of course, I'd take that. And you're right, there is not going to be a job that gives you the perfect amount of stress and the passion that keeps being possible to do all the time. There's going to be a little bit of a give and take. There's going to be a little bit of a compromise. But what you want to do is go in with your eyes wide open. You want to go into a workplace and be really clear about the questions you ask. Be really confident about what you bring.

• 18:30Jay Shetty?

  And you want to go and continue to do your passion, recognizing that you get to do it with your full creativity. This isn't an either/or issue. I think what the mind does is it creates tension by saying, you have to do this, or you have to do this. And in effect, what the healthiest answer is, is to find the middle path. The path that balances both, the path that allows both to coexist, the path that allows both to be important parts of your lives. So this is more of a syncing up issue than it is a either/or issue. And don't let the mind trick you into believing there's one right path or wrong path, or there's a straight trade. There is a way of creating a collaborative opportunity

• 19:14Jay Shetty?

  for being financially stable and continuing to pursue your passion. Wishing you all the best. Move to this next chapter, not with fear that work will be overwhelming again, but that your standards have been raised so that you know what aligns with you. This episode is brought to you by Walden University. Balancing work, life, and big goals isn't easy. That's why Walden University helps working professionals get the W with Tempo Learning, so you can earn your degree at your own pace while gaining practical skills through real-life scenarios. You'll also learn from faculty with real-world experience and have support start to finish. Walden University, set a course for change. Ready to start?

• 19:57Jay Shetty?

  Visit waldenu.edu today. Certified to operate by CHEV, Tempo Learning, available in select programs.

• 20:10Speaker 03

  Right now, I'm in the middle of running a new business that opened up back in November. I will give a little bit of a backstory of myself. I am finishing my bachelor's degree right now. I also opened up a care business where it's in demand of services of pet sitting, babysitting, tutoring, and homesitting. I am now under the pressure of many things in terms of it's affecting my work, life, my study life, my family life, and my relationship life. I have in my head that it's going to succeed, it's gonna do great, everything's going well. But I also feel the challenges and that burden on myself that if I do any wrong move, that my relationship's gonna fall apart, or my family's gonna be disappointed.

• 20:53Speaker 03

  I mean, I have in the back of my head right now that I would like to close the business because I also want to focus on my career. But I'm also at the standstill of I need to move my apartment, I need to find my new career as soon as I get my degree. My question is, what is the right decision to make in terms of priorities? Because there, of course, are the five priorities in life. But what is the one that matters most? And how can one not feel overwhelmed and burdened by just little decisions in terms of work, life, relationship, life, and family life?

• 21:33Jay Shetty?

  I want to say that what you've built is something to be proud of. You're finishing a degree, you start a business, and you're trying to show up for the people you love. I mean, you're winning right now, like, that's unbelievable. Congrats, like, that's truly brilliant. And the fact that you feel overwhelmed doesn't mean you're failing. It just means you're doing a lot, you're carrying a lot, right? And the biggest advice I would give you is this: Don't make a permanent decision while you're in a temporary state of exhaustion. Right now, it sounds like you're asking, like, do I keep the business? Or do I give it up? But the real question might actually be, what version can I sustain right now with everything I've got going on?

• 22:17Jay Shetty?

  And it's important to remember, of course, that a business is supposed to serve your life, not consume it, for sure. And you don't have to prove your worth by keeping something alive at the cost of your health, your relationships, or your future. But you also don't have to abandon something you created just because this season feels difficult. And that's the important word there, season. There are seasons of life. Think about nature. You have spring, you have summer, you have autumn, and you have winter. Nature is doing something entirely different in each season. Does it mean that it doesn't prioritize growth in winter when the trees are bare? Does it mean that it doesn't prioritize beauty in certain seasons because it's going through a state of regeneration?

• 23:02Jay Shetty?

  No, we recognize that nature needs to do different things at different times in order to stay in sync, to stay coordinated. And so there will be seasons in your life where you focus more on your business than everything else. And there will be seasons in your life you focus more on your family than everything else. And there'll be seasons in your life that you focus more on your career than everything else. That's how life functions. And what you want to do, especially with your relationships, is communicate. What you said to me, if you could say to the people that you love, "Hey, I'm really struggling trying to figure out how to do this. I hope you know how much you mean to me. I hope you know how this is a temporary thing I'm working on.

• 23:44Jay Shetty?

  And once I figure out my career, I'll be able to put my business aside." We don't ruin our relationships with the people we love because we're working too hard. We ruin them because we don't communicate about the work we're doing, and we never stop to also prioritize them in different seasons. Trying to balance everyone and everything perfectly every day is a recipe for failure. Imagine nature said, "Today, we're gonna have lightning, rain, wind, sun, flowers, bare trees, leaves falling off like in fall." Imagine you tried to do that all in 24 hours. I mean, maybe L.A. kind of does that sometimes. But if nature tried to do that every day, it would be exhausting.

• 24:28Jay Shetty?

  Everything would fall apart. And a lot of the times, we're trying to be the perfect partner, the perfect professional, the perfect person, the perfect parent, all in the same day. It's impossible. So instead of asking, "What's the perfect choice?", I want you to think about this. What is my top priority, my number one priority for the next six to 12 months? It literally could be just graduating and finding a job. And then, second question, what commitments are truly necessary? And what can be reduced, or what can be paused? What if it stopped today wouldn't affect the rest of your life? And ultimately, if I remove the fear of disappointing people, what decision would I make? Because running a business doesn't disappoint people.

• 25:12Jay Shetty?

  It's how you communicate about what you're doing in your life that can let people down or let them know where you're at. This next segment is brought to you by Wayfair. Just like a peaceful mind, a home that supports your everyday life needs to be built with intention. When you fill your space with quality pieces you can rely on through life's unpredictable moments, your home becomes more than a place to live. It becomes a foundation for everything else you do. So today, we're talking about the power of making intentional choices and investing in the pieces that sustain us for years to come. Welcome to our Built to Last segment. I've been thinking a lot about this idea of a sanctuary. We usually imagine a sanctuary as somewhere we escape to,

• 25:55Jay Shetty?

  somewhere quiet and peaceful, away from the demands of everyday life. But I think one of the most important sanctuaries we can create is the place we return to every day. Because so much of our lives is spent responding to the world around us. We're answering messages, making decisions, thinking about what's next. And even when we physically stop, our minds don't always stop with us. That's why there's something so powerful about coming home. You walk through the door, put your keys down, sit in the place you always sit, and your body almost seems to recognize, "I'm home, I can exhale here." I think that's what home really is. It's not just a physical place, it's a feeling. And that feeling is often created through really ordinary things. The sofa where everyone gathers at the end of the day. The lying that makes a room feel warm.

• 26:41Jay Shetty?

  The table where you've had hundreds of conversations. Over time, those things become part of our rituals. They create a sense of familiarity, comfort, and belonging. And that's why I don't think creating a sanctuary is about creating a perfect home. It's about creating a space that supports the way you actually live. Because restoration doesn't always mean getting away. Sometimes, it's walking through your own front door and feeling your shoulders drop. So maybe the question isn't just, "What does my home look like?" Maybe it's, "How does my home make me feel? And does this space help me come back to myself?" When your home is filled with pieces you can count on, you have more room to focus on what matters most. As you care for yourself, let Wayfair help you create a home that stands up to real life.

• 27:26Jay Shetty?

  Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Remember that purpose doesn't demand doing everything at once. True fulfillment comes from understanding that when you feel overwhelmed by small decisions, it is usually because your mind has flattened everything into the same urgent bucket. The shift you need to make is to sequence, not to juggle. Instead of keeping all those balls in the air, step back and name the single domino that needs to fall first. Most of these micro decisions aren't actually equal in weight.

• 28:06Jay Shetty?

  They only feel heavy and identical because you're trying to carry them all at the exact same time. Thank you for saying all of that out loud. There's something that changes the moment you stop holding it all inside. And remember, you don't have to hold it alone. And I'm so grateful that you're being so vulnerable and sharing your truth with so many. Keep sending them in, and I-

• 28:28Speaker 04

  When fall comes back around, there's a sense of a reset. And new pieces from Lululemon's Fall Drop are an inspiration to push your goals and elevate your routines. As your calendar fills, easy-to-layer styles meet the demands of your day. And as you challenge yourself to try even more, versatile sets transition with you. The Lululemon Fall lineup brings new levels of comfort and confidence, whether you're starting something fresh or starting something over. Check out the latest arrivals in store and on lululemon.com now.

• 28:58Speaker 05

  This episode is brought to you by Netflix's new series, East of Eden, a bold reimagining of John Steinbeck's masterpiece following generations of the Trask family. Through love, betrayal, and the choices that shape humanity, starring Mike Feist and Christopher Abbott as the Trask Brothers, and Florence Pugh as Kathy Ames, the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants, no matter the cost. Watch East of Eden, October 1st, only on Netflix.

• 29:28Speaker 06

  Mr. President, my company told me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all keep the blame on me. Tom Cruise is.

• 29:39Speaker 07

  Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 29:45Speaker 08

  What would happen if I stopped going? You stall, you freeze in there, that's what-

• 29:49Speaker 07

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 29:52Speaker 08

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 29:53Speaker 07

  Digger, see the trailer online, only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R, under 17, not a middle without parent.

• 29:58Jay Shetty?

  I'll keep listening.