Pod Insights Happy Place I still get triggered! Fearne on how to heal, cope with hangxiety, and having an empty nest About this episode Fearne isn’t a massive fan of the relentless pressure to reach a definitive state of happiness. It’s just not realistic, so she’s dropping into your feed every week for some chat about what’s making her – and you! – feel great, and what’s making us feel completely crap.
This is the cosy corner where there’s no judgement allowed! All of us can explore what’s been on our minds, what’s been getting us down, inspiring us, and making us laugh. Want to join the chat? Send us a voicenote, DM, or comment on Instagram @happyplaceofficial!
In this chat, Fearne covers:
-Why walks are the best for deep and meaningfuls
-Going clubbing and feeling 18 again
-Why you’re only ever as happy as your unhappiest child
-How to make the ‘sexiest salad’ ever (according to Fearne)
-Coping with The Fear that comes with a hangover
-A plea to stop chatting on speakerphone on the train
-How to say goodbye to your child when they leave home
-Dealing with triggers when you’re trying to heal
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of The Best One Yet.
0:02 Speaker 01 Behind every episode, there's research, emails, spreadsheets, and our shared Google Doc, the headline hammer.
0:07 Speaker 00 With Google Workspace with Gemini, Google's AI is built right into the premium versions of tools we already use, like Gmail, Docs, and Sheets. No new tools or extra logins, just personalized AI for the way we work.
0:18 Speaker 01 That means less time on the work around the work and more time finding the stories worth talking about.
0:23 Speaker 00 Get AI tools for work. Upgrade to Google Workspace with Gemini at go.o.gle/workspacewithGemini.
0:30 Speaker 01 That's go.o.gle/workspacewithGemini.
0:33 Speaker 02 The youth mental health crisis is growing, and social media is a major driver. Kids are spending up to nine hours a day on screens, often unsupervised, and studies show a direct link to anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. That's where Gab comes in. Gab offers safer phones and watches for kids with no social media, tailored to every age, offering the right tech at the right time, or Tech in Steps. From GPS-tracking-enabled watches for younger kids to phones with parent-enabled apps for teens, each device allows kids to more safely grow their independence. Visit gab.com/getgab and use code GETGAB for an exclusive offer. That's G A B B dot com forward slash get gab.
1:18 Speaker 02 Gab: Tech in Steps. Independence for them, peace of mind for parents.
1:25 Speaker 03 Hello, I'm Joanna Fletcher.
1:27 Speaker 04 And I'm Marco Bortella.
1:28 Speaker 03 And this is Boots Off.
1:31 Speaker 04 We are friends who have spent a decade together walking up mountains, across deserts, and along coastlines with some seriously awesome groups of humans.
1:40 Speaker 03 And something happens when you're out there, feet on the ground, surrounded by nature. The conversations just spill out of you.
1:46 Speaker 04 This series is about the adversities that lead to adventure.
1:49 Speaker 03 The adventures that lead to adversity.
1:51 Speaker 04 And how life can be one big adventure in itself.
1:54 Speaker 03 Listen every Thursday. Just search for Boots Off.
2:02 Fearne Cotton? What was I thinking? This is the sexiest thing you've ever seen. What I was thinking was, the sun's out, Ryland's coming over, I'm gonna drink shitloads of tequila. Hangxiety can go in the bin. We had this sort of like sanity saving walk last Friday night after dinner. And he got a bit emotional and said, "I'm gonna go now." And I was like, "Yep, love you." And like my throat was kind of cracking. And I think it's so tricky to stay on your path of getting better when you're pulled back. And he walked out the door and I shut the door and cried for about half an hour. Hi everyone, welcome to Happy Place with me, Fern Cotton. How are you all today? We're gonna go through our likes and our dislikes. So Mills, have I got chocolate in my mouth? No.
2:47 Fearne Cotton? Okay, good, because I've just had a hot chocolate. That's going on my making me happy list. I, there is nothing better than a hot chocolate. Heaven, I'll tell you why I drunk that in a minute, not just yet though. What's making me feel happy? Well, one thing that's making me feel really happy is going for very specifically, an after dinner walk, which we can do now it's light late in the winter. I couldn't think of anything worse. I am hibernating from 4pm, but at this time of year, me and my daughter are going for post dinner walks and it is the highlight of my day. We had this sort of like sanity saving walk last Friday night after dinner. And it was a perfect golden sunset where the light, like she's got bright red hair
3:31 Fearne Cotton? and it was sort of illuminating her hair, it looked like fire, it was so beautiful. And I think also if you've got kids and sometimes you find it hard to get anything out of them, like on the school run, the way back from school, here's me, I'm driving. "How was school kids? Guys, how was school?" Huh? "Yeah, it was alright." "What happened?" "Don't know." "What do you mean you don't know? You've just been, like, tell me one good thing that happened." "I can't remember." "Like, anything, what did you eat for lunch?" Dunno, was it pasta? I dunno, like it's like pulling teeth. You get nothing at all, but something about going on a walk, not necessarily just with your kids, but even with a mate, where just things start to naturally unfold.
4:14 Fearne Cotton? And me and Honey, my 10 year old, have had such amazing chats in the last couple of weeks on these post dinner walks. We've been picking buttercups and putting them under our chin. We've been making wishes and blowing dandelion fluff, which is so cute. And then that starts a little conversation about something. I'm very lucky, I live near the River Thames, we walk down to the river, have a little look what's going on there, see if people are kayaking, canoeing. And it is just such a lovely reset at the end of the day. And if like me, you're a crap sleeper, I sort of need that processing time to just like, let the day bed in, chat about it with somebody, my daughter, and just, and let her have the space to do the same.
4:57 Fearne Cotton? And you know, if you've got daughters, you'll know this, there's often friendship dramas or dynamics that need to be discussed and that's the chance to do it. And I think if you're walking, you're not necessarily sat over a table looking at each other. Sort of easier to open up and, and talk about what you need to get off your chest. And also if like, you know, I have quite long days in our gorgeous fluffy happy place studio, where I just sit on my arse all day. And actually getting my step count in at the end of the day feels like a major tick. So that one for me is for the win. And if you're, I dunno, feeling a bit like meh at the moment, not good about stuff, I'm not telling you anything you don't know, but you will never regret having an after dinner walk.
5:42 Fearne Cotton? It is just bliss, absolute bliss. I'm trying to do it every day at the moment, so that for me is a huge thumbs up. Let's have a look first of all at some listener thumbs ups, things that people are feeling very happy about. Lauren very sweetly says, time with my new partner and how nicely things are developing. That is so adorable. I love that. Helen says, hopefully a turning point with my 21 year old son who's going through a tricky time. Oh my God, Helen, I absolutely love that because I think that old fashioned phrase of you're only as happy as your unhappiest kid is so true. And you can try and override it and think, no, I can't
6:26 Fearne Cotton? base my happiness on where they're at. But when one of your kids is having a tough time, it is so all consuming. So I am over the moon for you, Helen, that there's a turning point, you're feeling a bit of relief, like that is a big breakthrough for you and I'm over the moon about that. Right, I want to know what is making team happy place feel good. Penelope says going clubbing. I can't think of anything worse. But I love that. I'm here for you, Penelope, and your clubbing. She says she feels 18 again. I just don't know if I've got it in me.
6:57 Speaker 06 I would not like to be 18 again.
7:00 Fearne Cotton? I would hate to be 18 again. I can't think of anything. I mean, I was an absolute dickhead at 18. I might still be now. I mean, some people do like to tell me that on social media. Lana is the most organised person you've ever met. Methodical, logical, logistical. She's on it. It will come as no surprise to anybody that what's making her happy this week is a new Hoover. I hear you on that though, because do you know what I treated myself to on Saturday? Best thing I bought myself all year?
7:32 Speaker 06 What?
7:33 Fearne Cotton? New vegetable peeler. Just a bog standard, cost two quid. But I was, you know, when you put up with shit that doesn't work? I was trying to peel carrots for, I'm not even exaggerating, five years with a peeler that didn't work. That was sort of taking out great big chunks of a carrot or a cucumber. So the salad that I made with my new vegetable peeler, this is the sexiest thing you've ever seen. That is a salad exclusively made of vegetables. Peeled with my new vegetable peeler. I think you call it like, isn't it like Julien peeling? Or Julien, like it's the thin strips of courgette and cucumber and carrot.
8:13 Fearne Cotton? It is the fittest and radish. It's such a sexy salad and that is all because I treated myself to a new vegetable peeler. If you're making do with shit knives for chopping veg, a shit vegetable peeler, you know what I've got to upgrade next? Cheese grater. Again, if I'm like grating a carrot with the grater, it's literally like, it's barely working. Forget zesting a lemon, you ain't getting no zest. I'm treating myself to a new grater, everyone. So that's making everyone at Happy Place very happy. New bog standard utensils and household devices. Shall we swiftly move on to things that we want to put in the bin? Things that are making us feel like crap. Mine is quite literally happening to me as I sit here now and that is a hangover.
8:57 Fearne Cotton? Okay, I'm recording this on a Monday. What was I thinking? What I was thinking was, the sun's out, Ryland's coming over, I'm gonna drink shitloads of tequila. It was a terrible, terrible idea. And are you like me? Have you always, since you started drinking at whatever age that was, do you get the fear? I get the fear so bad, even in my mid 40s, I should have outgrown it, surely. The day after, the hangxiety is so real. I woke up this morning and I was like, I'm a terrible person. I am an awful person. I need to do some charity work. I need to ring all my friends. I need to be a better human. I was literally self-flagellating for hours.
9:40 Fearne Cotton? Now I'm just in the kind of aftermath of that where I just feel a bit dodgy. So I've just necked a hot chocolate, which the sugar infusion that I've just necked is, thank you for getting that for me, Amelia. That was very kind slash essential. But hangovers are getting so much worse. I don't drink a lot and I don't drink particularly regularly. Yesterday was a bit of a over excited, it's sunny one off. And I am regretting it. I know tomorrow I'll be like, I'm over it. It was really fun. I don't regret it. But today, hangxiety can go in the bin. Be gone with you. I've been pep talked by four friends today. One sent a voice note going, don't believe it. Don't spiral.
10:22 Fearne Cotton? Don't go down that path of thinking you're a shit human, a shit mum, that you shouldn't have had a couple of tequilas. Don't do it. That was my friend Ella. Thanks for the pep talk, girls. I love you. Did you get the fear mills?
10:33 Speaker 06 I actually don't.
10:37 Fearne Cotton? You don't get hangovers? What do you mean?
10:42 Fearne Cotton? That's my problem. That's where I went wrong. It was the, it's always the last drink that you didn't need.
10:51 Fearne Cotton? Always a strong guy. I was on the sipping tequila. Just neat tequila.
10:57 Fearne Cotton? I actually feel sick. I can't talk about it. I'm moving on to other people's because I actually feel ill. Jenna, who does Happy Place's PR, so she gets the word out on the street that we've got a festival coming, that we've got a book club, that we've got a marketplace, all this great stuff that we're doing. Jenna shouts about it and we really, really need her to do it and she's so good at her job. Jenna's dislike this week is people on trains having deep and meaningful conversations with no headphones on. No one wants to hear it. I was literally front and centre with this the other day. I was on the tube going into town and there was a couple of ladies sat in front of me. And it wasn't so much a deep and meaningful. They were talking about interiors because one of them had just got a new flat and she was talking about
11:39 Fearne Cotton? the colour scheme, but I left knowing the dining table that she's just gotten, the chairs that she wants to get, like, you know, and I'm not like that. I've been sort of whispering, feeling slightly embarrassed. I knew every detail of this woman's flat by the time I got off the train. It was crazy, but I guess if it's a deep and meaningful, especially if you're trying to read on the train or the bus, wherever you may be travelling, that's annoying. I can't read with people chit chatting.
12:09 Fearne Cotton? Oh, it's well annoying. It's so annoying. Anonymous says, My son's leaving for Australia. Do you know what? This is personally one that's going to get me because on Saturday, my stepson came over because he's going to Australia to live for a year or two. And my stepson is 24 and I have been in his life since he was eight, this tiny little guy. And I've been there for all of these wonderful milestones and had so many incredible experiences with him. And all of that hit me on that day of saying goodbye to him.
12:52 Fearne Cotton? And he got a bit emotional and said, I'm gonna go now. And I was like, yeah, love you. And like my throat was kind of cracking and he walked out the door and I shut the door and cried for about half an hour. Because it is such a huge deal. I mean, first of all, Australia is really far away and I hope that Anonymous, you get out there and you can go and see your sons and go and look at their adventures and what they're up to. But I think also that moment where whether it's your kid goes to uni or your kid moves from where they've grown up, it's such a massive deal. Like you're bombarded with every memory of bringing them up, of the milestones they've reached,
13:33 Fearne Cotton? of everything you've been through. I started looking at old pictures. I really like tortured myself with it. And of course, like I'm sure you are, I'm so proud of my stepson and I'm so glad that he's going off as a 24 year old man to live his life and make decisions for himself. I am bursting with pride. But with that comes this deep sense of sorrow because they're, they're going, they're going off to do their own thing. So my heart goes out to you and I'm sending you all the love because I'm sure when that day comes, when they do actually move, it's gonna be so full on for you. So be surrounded by great people that love you, who you can lean on.
14:14 Fearne Cotton? Have a good cry, never feel bad about having a good cry and feeling all of your feelings. And I wish your sons the best on their incredible adventure to Australia. And Arthur, love you, Arth. Also Lisa, who's contacted us at Happy Place, said on her go in the bin list, still being triggered by things I'm trying so hard to heal from. Oh my God.
14:39 Fearne Cotton? Yeah, look, that's a hard one. And I find that one such an interesting conversation because I don't think we should hide from everything that triggers us. I'd certainly get triggered all the time from things I see on social media or certain conversations that you overhear. And they might not trigger anybody else, but they hit you. And I think it's so tricky to stay on your path of getting better when you're pulled back. And I think there's a fine line between hiding from everything because it all feels too scary and actually just being in pain for the sake of it, you know, just constantly being triggered by things. So I totally hear you and I hope that whatever you were triggered by, you're able to talk to someone about it.
15:22 Fearne Cotton? That's what I always do. If I'm triggered by something that I've seen, I'll talk about it in therapy or I'll call my mate Claire, who's like my free therapist, sorry Claire, and say, I'm feeling this, what do I do? Get her take on it, allow myself to feel all the feelings and then hope that you can kind of move past it down the line. But I hear you and I'm sending you loads of love, Lisa. And I'm so grateful for you sending in your, your things that are making you feel great and the things that are making you feel like shit. We're open to all of them. Send them in. We want to hear it. We want to chew the card. We want to chat about all of the good stuff. So what's making you feel great? Let us know. Just head to our Happy Place Instagram at Happy Place Official or tell us what's making you feel like crap. There is space for all of
16:06 Fearne Cotton? it. Thank you so much for listening to this week's Happy Place. I'm sending you all a bunch of love for the rest of your day. I hope you have a good one.
16:42 Speaker 01 Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of the best one yet. Behind every episode, there's research, emails, spreadsheets and our shared Google Doc, the head. Headline hammer.
16:50 Speaker 00 With Google Workspace with Gemini, Google's AI is built right into the premium versions of tools we already use, like Gmail, Docs and Sheets. No new tools or extra logins, just personalized AI for the way we work.
17:01 Speaker 01 That means less time on the work around the work and more time finding the stories worth talking about.
17:05 Speaker 00 Get AI tools for work. Upgrade to Google Workspace with Gemini at goo.gle/workspacewithgemini.
17:12 Speaker 01 That's goo.gle/workspacewithgemini.
17:15 Speaker 02 The youth mental health crisis is growing and social media is a major driver. Kids are spending up to nine hours a day on screens, often unsupervised, and studies show a direct link to anxiety, depression and even suicidal thoughts. That's where Gab comes in. Gab offers safer phones and watches for kids with no social media, tailored to every age, offering the right tech at the right time, or tech in steps. From GPS tracking-enabled watches for younger kids to phones with parent-enabled apps for teens, each device allows kids to more safely grow their independence. Visit gab.com/getgab and use code GETGAB for an exclusive offer.
17:56 Speaker 02 That's G A B B dot com forward slash get gab. Gab, tech in steps. Independence for them, peace of mind for parents.
18:07 Speaker 03 Hello, I'm Joanna Fletcher.
18:09 Speaker 04 And I'm Marco Burchella.
18:11 Speaker 03 And this is Boots Off.
18:14 Speaker 04 We are friends who've spent a decade together, walking up mountains, across deserts and along coastlines with some seriously awesome groups of humans.
18:22 Speaker 03 And something happens when you're out there, feet on the ground, surrounded by nature. The conversations just spill out of you.
18:29 Speaker 04 This series is about the adversities that lead to adventure.
18:32 Speaker 03 The adventures that lead to adversity.
18:34 Speaker 04 And how life can be one big adventure in itself.
18:37 Speaker 03 Listen every Thursday. Just search for Boots Off.
Previous Sex scenes are liberating! Nafessa Williams on Rivals, racism, and self-belief Next Fear can be wonderful or destructive! How to negotiate with doubt, with Joseph Fiennes Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated