Sam Tripoli Demonetized This Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 884

SPONSORS: Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold you get the third FREE with promo code YMH. You will also receive an additional 10% OFF + Free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit https://BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. We thank BlueChew for sponsoring the pod and thebedroom. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/ymh Sup, chomos! Christina holds down the Mommy Dome with Comedy Store OG and her friend of 30 years Sam Tripoli, who's in Austin to do Kill Tony and plug his free special, 30 Minutes with Sam Tripoli, from GaS Digital. Sam opens by arguing the world needs assholes again, explains why clean comics are secretly the worst people, and finally tells the story of getting robbed by the same hooker twice in one day. Plus: his Armenian dad throwing him across the room, the homemade wrestling belts he and his brother fought over, and why Christina's sons will never go to a sleepover. Then M Night Shyamalan is back on his new YouTube channel, this time doing an "ask me anything" with college students at a wing shop. Christina and Sam pause it every 30 seconds for the press-junket setup nobody needed, M Night shaking a server's hand while she's running food, him rephrasing the kid's question, and "just be yourself" advice when what the kid really needs to know is who funds your movie. Along the way they rattle off their all-time favorite movies (Fight Club, Taxi Driver, Ghostbusters, Rushmore), try to get their kids to watch Charlie Brown after the Super Mario movie, and debate whether M Night is a reptilian. Plus, Christina's Curations: a parrot putting on blush, five grown men in a meowing contest, date night at Dave & Buster's, taser boxing (Sam wants to be its Dana White), deep-fried prison burritos, a man whose family stages an intervention over his TikToks, and a Scottish lady's big day at the Doncaster races. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 884 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:04:50 - Opening Clip: I Have Diarrhea00:05:53 - Let It Rip: Why Clean Comics Are The Real Assholes00:17:45 - No Sleepovers, Park Creeps, & Furries At Disneyland00:23:26 - M Night Shyamalan's YouTube00:30:08 - M Night's Wing Shop AMA With College Students00:44:33 - Is M Night A Reptilian? & Which Athletes To Date00:51:47 - Christina's Curations: The Makeup Parrot & The Meowing Contest00:58:51 - Taser Boxing & The 80s AIDS Scare01:02:07 - Back To The TikToks01:08:32 - Closing Song - "Big Tits Fart" by Jeremy Shockley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Welcome, welcome to Your Mom's House.

• 0:11Speaker 00

  Welcome to the 50th Hunger Games. Witness the beginning of the revolution.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  Hey Mitch, you've been trying to take down these games from the start.

• 0:18Speaker 00

  Filmed for IMAX.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  Make them remember you.

• 0:22Speaker 00

  The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping, November 20th, rated PG-13.

• 0:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can I tell you something? You're right. We need assholes. And you know what we need? No more crybaby pussies.

• 0:30Speaker 03

  No.

• 0:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Do you know that I'm into fashion designers? I read about their lives. You know Saint Laurent? This, this, this guy Saint Laurent?

• 0:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 0:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  He took over Christian Dior when Dior died.

• 0:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 0:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Do you know that he was, thank you so much, Nana, he was inducted into the military, like he's got this career, went to go fight a war, came back so shell shocked and traumatized. And guess what? He still went on to become fucking Saint Laurent!

• 0:54Speaker 03

  Exactly, exactly.

• 0:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dior's sister was in a concentration camp during World War II. And he lost every, and these people still fucking went on.

• 1:05Speaker 03

  They fought through it.

• 1:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Chanel, same thing. Her nephew is in a concentration camp. She loses everything. It's like, what the fuck is wrong with people now? Like, look, life will always suck. So what are you gonna do?

• 1:17Speaker 03

  Life is always gonna suck. It's like how you deal with it. And now we got this new thing with everything's mental, mental health. Oh, you need your mental health, which is just a game to get you on pharmaceuticals.

• 1:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Which I'm on and I love them. I don't know if you're on Prozac yet.

• 1:31Speaker 03

  No, I'm not on Prozac.

• 1:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, you gotta get, what are you on?

• 1:34Speaker 03

  I'm on life. I'm on, I'm burning everything down. Enjoy the warm weather. That's what I'm on right now. It's chaos. So anyways, so we have this thing where it's like, I believe the universe tells you that get the fuck out of what you're doing.

• 1:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  And we don't want to hear it.

• 1:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  And we just want to numb ourselves and keep going down that, hey, listen, you've done a lot of great things. There's a lot of great, there's a lot of people out there that life isn't working out.

• 2:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  And they just don't want to deal with it. And it's like, the universe talks to you all the fucking time, dude. It's like, oh, mental, everyone's got mental health. It's just like, you're quirky. Like, deal with it.

• 2:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, and also too, Duncan and I were talking about this last time he was on the show. It's like, also just kind of normalize being on a bender. You know what I mean? Like when your life is in the toilet, like my life was fucking in the toilet this summer.

• 2:27Speaker 03

  Why? What happened?

• 2:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, literally, I spent the whole summer either in a pub, like I would just go get drunk alone and meet like sweet gay guys, or I would fucking be the best when you're sad.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  Like women and men deal with breakup way better. Women have a system, right? They got a gay guy tells them their fears, cut new haircut. Guys just bottom out, dude. And we end up in bum fights and we're fighting homeless people. And then it takes another woman lifting us up to get our head out of our ass.

• 3:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I don't, let's not hope for that.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  Let's, I mean, I hope not.

• 3:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's all I need is a stepmom. Yeah, please, please let Tom be dead.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  I hope you get the biggest fucking black guy and he just wrecks you and you're happy. Like I hope you get Metta World Peace crazy black, just a crazy black that just lights you the fuck up. You deserve happiness.

• 3:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can I tell you something, Sam Tripoli? I went to bed last night with a big smile on my face, knowing that you would be here in the morning.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  Oh, I love you so.

• 3:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  I, I've loved you so.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  One of the three people that still like me.

• 3:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  What?

• 3:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, everyone thinks I'm a crazy person.

• 3:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  You are a crazy person. So right.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  Last time I was in LA, I got called, last time I was in Austin, I got called anti-Semitic three times. I live with a Jew.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Weird Nazi. Like I take care of a Jewish grandma. Like I'm the weirdest Nazi ever. I just, my whole thing is like, I love to talk shit.

• 3:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  And I don't think anyone's above talking shit.

• 3:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of course.

• 3:56Speaker 03

  And when no one can talk shit for you, about you forever, and someone just bust your balls, you're like, wah. Racism. It's like, I got in a fight with somebody on Twitter about like, I think Satanism is worse than racism.

• 4:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay. Let's do this opening clip.

• 4:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm so thrilled. Sam Tripoli is here.

• 4:14Speaker 03

  Is that too much? I have racist uncles. They're entertaining. I never had a Satanist uncle.

• 4:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, you're Armenian.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're, oh, by the way.

• 4:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  You guys are the biggest genocide victims.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  100%, dude.

• 4:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, people forget it.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  My whole, my grandpa's whole, yeah, they don't even give a shit. It's like, we don't have value. Like, they killed my great grandpa's whole family, moved here and just opened up a fucking parking lot, made mad cash, come back. It's like, deal with your fucking trauma.

• 4:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, you don't, or you don't even have to deal with it thoroughly in this lifetime. You just have to get functional enough that you're not beating your kids, torturing everyone around you, and make a living. Like you're not gonna, you're not gonna solve it all in one lifetime. Okay? You're fucked. Everybody's fucked.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  The key is to turn your mental illness into fucking money. That's the key.

• 4:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Thank you. Commodify your suffering.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, 100%.

• 5:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  If you can find a way to commodify your suffering, you have won the fucking game of life. Hold on. And this guy too. You got your cans on?

• 5:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, here we go.

• 5:09Speaker 04

  I'm on the shit and I have diarrhea.

• 5:18Speaker 05

  Don't bring anyone mothering to this.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  There's something spiritual about him.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  He's just jerking off ghost dicks.

• 5:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's Sam Tripoli. He's your stepdad for two days episode. He's just as unhinged as I am, which is why I've loved him for years.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  I love the bro kid, dude.

• 6:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  But you and I really, I think it's our, it's our, what's most likable and our tragic flaw is that we just let it rip.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, let it go. Let it go.

• 6:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  We probably shouldn't let it rip as much as we do.

• 6:20Speaker 03

  No, it's the most freeing shit ever. Like imagine if you go, oh, I shouldn't say that. How fu-

• 6:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Imagine if you listen to that voice in your head.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  It's this thing that me and Steve Randolph, he's talking about, it's like, not all clean comics are assholes, but most asshole comics were clean, right?

• 6:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  100% the worst people.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  You're like, oh, he's a clean comic. Oh, he's a cocksucker.

• 6:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sucks.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, 100%.

• 6:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Bill Cosby, piece of shit.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  Jerry Seinfeld.

• 6:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Piece of shit.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Piece of shit. And it's just like, okay, because they have to make business decisions. We can just let it rip. Like I always say, like, let your freak out, talk about all your fucking, it's like authenticity. That, that is the key to everything. Being authentic and as broken as you possibly can.

• 7:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  If you don't know Sam Tripoli, you gotta check out his podcast, Tin Foil Hat.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  I once got robbed by the same hooker twice in one day.

• 7:15Speaker 03

  Like I love talking about that shit.

• 7:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, visit samtripoli.com for tickets. What are you talking about? So, oh, hey, you've got a special coming out. And then I want you to tell me about getting robbed by a hooker twice in the same day. I gotta write that-

• 7:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, my drug days. Uh, my special dropped. Luis Gomez and the people over at Gas Digital were nice enough to let me do my show. Let me do my, my special. If you love racially insensitive material, go to samtripoli.com. Or, or you remember last time, wiggar, white, white.com, you can go there too. That will take you away to the, or you can go to samtripoli.com, go to youtube.com at Sam Tripoli Comedy.

• 7:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Have we been demonetized yet?

• 7:55Speaker 03

  Have we?

• 7:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  The first seven minutes, we've dropped an N-bomb, we've jacked air dicks.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  We live streaming? I thought you guys beeped the shit. What happened to beeping? I mean, you guys got a whole system. You don't beep? I got a Mexican that beeps everything. I'll get it.

• 8:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Don't worry, we've got a chew to the beeps.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  I was like, which one do you guys know how to work a computer?

• 8:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, how did you get robbed twice?

• 8:22Speaker 03

  Well, I was, I was a drug addict, man. I was like looking for drugs.

• 8:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, hold on. Where can people watch your special, first of all?

• 8:28Speaker 03

  At samtripoli.com. I won't say the other website again. Samtripoli.com or youtube.com at Sam Tripoli Comedy.

• 8:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, check him out, you guys. Trips is one of the-

• 8:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like OG comedy store, everybody loves you. You're so fucking funny. You're never afraid of saying shit and I just love you for it. And you're one of my favorite people in comedy.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  I love you so much.

• 8:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  So we, we've had a love affair going for thirty fucking years.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  Love affair.

• 8:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Love you.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  I was, uh, yeah, when the news dropped, I was like devastated.

• 9:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 9:01Speaker 03

  And I honestly, I treated you guys, and this may not be.

• 9:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  You can leave it.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  Okay, but.

• 9:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Unless it's, I don't want to talk negatively about.

• 9:07Speaker 03

  No, eh, like I treated your guys divorce like my parents divorce. I literally like, I don't want to know what happened. I love mom and dad. I just, I don't, my brother got right into the divorce. It's finding out like what my dad did. And I was like, I don't need to know. I know he's, I like, I'm my father's son. We're knuckle draggers. Okay. I don't need to know. I'm just gonna love mom and dad. That's all, that's how I had to handle it.

• 9:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think a lot of people took our divorce like that.

• 9:36Speaker 03

  Dude, it was paradigm shifting.

• 9:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  It, I think you're right. I think people were like, I feel like I got black pilled. I think my reality is.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  I've never seen a reaction to anything like that before. It's like devastating.

• 9:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I'm living it and I still can't wrap my head around my own reality.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  Crazy, cause you guys are so love. And I think they, everyone, I, I don't know if you want to hear this, but I think everyone's like, you guys are our only hope.

• 10:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  And then it was like, oh, there's no love in the world. And we were just, right, we, all of our relationships were on the verge of breaking up after we heard that.

• 10:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, you want to.

• 10:12Speaker 03

  Should I just walk out now?

• 10:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, you want to hear something really interesting that happens. I think that for twenty great years, we really were a beacon of hope. And I think for the first, we were, a- a- and I think at some point shit changes, people change. But I think, I think we had the real deal for a long time, Tommy and I.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  We really did. We really did.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  I always, you know, it's like, I, I was always like, why is, why do you guys click so well? And, and the truth of the matter is, is like, Tommy's, Tom, I've always said this about Tom, he is the smartest comic I've ever met in my life.

• 10:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Brilliant, man.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  The batting average of this dude is great. A- and everyone get mad at me, but your mom's house work, cause you are an assassin. And you're, yes.

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• 11:34Tom Segura?

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• 12:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Now that fall is finally upon us, I think it's time we all collectively admit it's by far the better season when it comes to being outside. From the crisp air to the changing leaves, fall makes me want to watch spooky movies while the darkness outdoors takes hold earlier and earlier each day. No matter where you find yourself this time of year, it'll be a better experience when paired with the American original, that is Mountain Dew. Hailing from the foothills of Tennessee in nineteen forty-eight and brought to life by two brothers who knew all about having a good time outside. It embodies the kind of simple roots you can't help but respect. I love the taste

• 12:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  of that crisp citrus kick, especially after hanging out in a hot tub or around a fire pit with my friends when it's a little chilly out. Mountain Dew is my go-to when we're sitting outside and enjoying a nice chilly evening, cause it's so refreshing and so lovely. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew, an American original. Tasting great since forty-eight. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. So how did you get robbed twice in one day by the same hooker?

• 13:20Speaker 03

  I, uh, I, I was a crippling drug addict and, uh, I wanted drugs one, because you get sober, you're like, I'm not gonna do drugs. You get rid of all the drug dealers in your, in your phone. And then you're like, I need drugs. You just drive around and you're like, oh, I know who has drugs, hookers. So I'm like, hey, can you, oh, yeah. So she gets in, she's like, I gave her forty. I'm like, twenty for you, just give me drugs. She took her purse. I'm like, oh, she's gonna rob me. I sat there for like forty-five minutes, nothing. And then I drove around a bunch of times again.

• 13:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, you just sat around for forty-five minutes in the car with her?

• 13:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, just, no.

• 13:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Just talking? Oh.

• 13:54Speaker 03

  Waiting for her to come back.

• 13:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  With drugs?

• 13:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, okay.

• 13:57Speaker 03

  And then she didn't. So then I kept driving around looking for more and I, and I saw her again. I'm like, no one will rob somebody twice.

• 14:06Speaker 03

  Nobody will rob a person twice. And she robbed me again.

• 14:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  You asked her for more drugs with, for money?

• 14:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm like, listen, things happen. You know, nobody, you know, you just didn't have your best moment.

• 14:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  You forgave her. So, so, uh, anxiously attached. You're like, I'll just, I'll just hang in there.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Just help me out.

• 14:28Speaker 03

  I'm almost six years sober, so that was a different time.

• 14:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, you've, you know, you're, you're in the parenting world now. You got kids.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 14:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Which, by the way, I, I have to pause this program in half an hour to do a parent teacher conference. What the fuck are you gonna tell me?

• 14:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, what are you gonna tell me?

• 14:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  What are we talking about? Why don't you email me when something's wrong? Why are you, don't tell me he's fine. I know he's fine.

• 14:50Speaker 03

  So the homework from kindergarten to first grade is a quantum leap.

• 14:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, my God.

• 14:56Speaker 03

  Your first one, you're just doodling in kindergarten. You're like, oh, that's cute. And then first grade, they're actually,

• 15:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  We get like eight pages of homework. I'm like, that's a lot of freaking homework.

• 15:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  And it's like Singapore math, which I don't understand.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  And I'm reading to the kids. I'm like, I don't even know what that word is, dude. And then she corrects me. I'm like, okay. I'll smack the shit. I would never, I've never hit my kids ever.

• 15:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not yet.

• 15:18Speaker 03

  No, nah.

• 15:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Did your parents hit you? You're a median.

• 15:21Speaker 03

  My dad chucked me across the room one time when I beat the shit out of my brother.

• 15:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  I grab, and then he just grabbed me. He's like, enough. And he threw me like, boom, bro, like a midget toss. You ever see where they?

• 15:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love those, yeah. I remember that.

• 15:36Speaker 03

  Hey, dog. Threw me. I'm like, won't do that again.

• 15:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Where, did you hit the wall or what? Did you land on the floor?

• 15:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I hit the wall, fell down.

• 15:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Did you break anything?

• 15:45Speaker 03

  No.

• 15:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Just bruised?

• 15:46Speaker 03

  Just, just my ego check.

• 15:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  And I think it's important.

• 15:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  For boys especially, because my boys can fuck each other up pretty bad.

• 15:54Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. So me and my brother used to fight all the time and we would make up new wrestling belts, like new federations. And I would be like, you're the A D C champion. And then I'd beat the shit out of him and I'd be like, new A D C champion. All the time, just beating the crap out, and to the, to the point that my brother knows that he's a little nervous up from me.

• 16:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's your younger, though.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. And here's something very weird, right? Me and my brother used to fight all the time as kids. And now we're like super close and super, we love each other, right? But like, a lot of people I know that were like really close with their siblings when they were younger.

• 16:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  Now are fighting with them all the time.

• 16:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah. I wonder what switched. Like, why that, why would that work out that way?

• 16:35Speaker 03

  It's very weird to me. Like, oh, I don't talk to my brothers anymore. I'm like, that's weird. I, I, I got

• 16:45Speaker 03

  Larry Watts felt me up, dude. And I almost got by Father Dan, but it didn't happen because I think, cause this is a true story, cause I'm a grower, not a shower.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  And I think it's like, it's not worth it.

• 16:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Father Dan, did you go to church or he was your school? Like, he was around you in school? How did you?

• 17:03Speaker 03

  No, he, he was this, he was this, uh, pre-Catholic priest that would just take boys out, I'm like, what they call blood baths. It was like, I'm like, that's a weird name for this shit.

• 17:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  So hold on, was your family Catholic? Did you go to church?

• 17:17Speaker 03

  My dad, something happened. My daddy hated religion.

• 17:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 17:21Speaker 03

  I think something bad happened way back in the day. Uh, my mom was like, we're cool. I, so she brought me like to a Protestant church like twice, and that was it.

• 17:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  So then how'd you get, how did Catholic guy?

• 17:32Speaker 03

  Because Father Dan, the other boys, they're like, bring any of your friends. He was like loading it up. And.

• 17:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's the blood bath?

• 17:39Speaker 03

  It, it was this thing where he'd take you out, like, and do a bunch of activities and then we'd all, we'd all jacuzzi together.

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Dude, the shit that we used to put up with before is insane. We had a football coach that would shower with us and then give awards to who had the biggest dick. He's like, oh, Billy's huge today.

• 18:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  See, can I tell you something? This is why my sons never spend the night at anybody's fucking house.

• 18:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're not doing an overnight camp, nothing, because this is how boys get.

• 18:14Speaker 03

  Diddled.

• 18:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  And people think I'm an uptight mom. Oh, oh, what, you don't want him to do sleep? No, your kid can sleep in my house, but I'm not letting my kid sleep at your fucking house. No sleepaway camp, none of that shit.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  And it's really weird, like, our reaction to the diddlers. Like, we're, we're, oh, no, no, man.

• 18:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's that?

• 18:32Speaker 03

  Why is my kid calling me? She's only six.

• 18:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Call, answer it.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  I don't even know who that is, dude. Sorry about that.

• 18:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  It never rings. That's the weirdest thing. I have it on vibrate. Um, uh, silent, actually.

• 18:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  I got it, yeah.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's really weird how we react to diddlers.

• 18:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, I don't know.

• 18:48Speaker 03

  We hate guys who, like, make white actresses uncomfortable.

• 18:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right, but not children.

• 18:52Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, he, he touched my butt, and then they're just, he just completely ran out of society. But a diddler, like, everyone's, I don't know if it's too dark.

• 19:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think people are so, it's so vile, child, and so shameful, and so horrible, that we don't even want to look at it as a society.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  It makes us really uncomfortable.

• 19:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  But that's why Eastern European moms do.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  And especially, you know, women are encouraged to be polite and nice and not say no and not be like, that guy's a fucking creep. Keep your kids away. I'm not nice, and I don't give a fuck, and I'm gonna, I tell women, if, even if I'm walking in the park, there's a creeper. I go, hey, there's a creeper up there. Stay the fuck away from that guy.

• 19:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you'll be like, why, be like, why are you here? I've done that at the park. Like, hey, man, how's it going? Where are your kids?

• 19:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 19:38Speaker 03

  Oh, you have no kids here? So why are you hanging out at Kids Park?

• 19:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 19:42Speaker 03

  I have to, I have kids. I wouldn't be here.

• 19:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  I wouldn't be here if I, why are you an adult in the fucking park anyway?

• 19:48Speaker 03

  Why are you on the fucking seesaw right now? Like, what, what are you doing?

• 19:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  But I think too, and this is very politically incorrect, is that isn't it the men's job to regulate creeps? This is what dudes used to be able to do.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  About, we need assholes again.

• 20:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  We've been through the sixties years, the sixty years of the hippie movement, of love and all that. It's gotten us nothing. It's gotten us nothing but chaos.

• 20:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, not, not, like, women's movement, that's good, racial stuff, that's good. Don't you think society's evolved?

• 20:20Speaker 03

  It's, it's never enough. It's like, everyone should be treated equal, everyone should be, I don't care what you do in your, in your own home. You can get as weird as you fucking want, you can shove whatever you want, as long as you're not hurting kids, I don't give a fuck. Two adults can do whatever the fuck they want. I, I really don't care, as long as it's consensual.

• 20:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  But in society, at the food court, at the, at the town hall, chill the fuck out. I don't need to be a Jamba Juice and know you're a fucking furry, okay? I don't give a shit. Just shut the fuck up. I'm sorry.

• 20:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  But that is culture, and not only that, like, these grown adults that dress up and go to Disneyland without children, and they're like, no, they're just, like you said, furries, or they're just Disney adults. It's like, really, are they?

• 21:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why the fuck are we, like, celebrating? You don't know what they're into. Why the fuck are you at a park with kids and you ain't got no kids?

• 21:12Speaker 03

  One hundred percent.

• 21:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  But it needs to be the job of the men, the elders, to correct these assholes again. Remember back in the day when there were, I think Louis CK has a bit about this, that you go, yeah, that's that creepy guy so-and-so. Stay the fuck away from his house.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, one hundred percent.

• 21:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  You just knew. Everybody knows, that's a pervert, stay away from a pervert. You can't even call somebody a pervert now because you're kink shaming.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  I tried to call some, I'm not gonna get into names, but I pushed back on some people in Hollywood, and the, people got pissed.

• 21:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's weird.

• 21:42Speaker 03

  It's, it's, especially in Hollywood, nobody wants to upset the system. So they're so afraid if they say something, that they'll, they'll, they'll be excommunicated.

• 21:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  It's a dying altar. You're worshiping a dying altar that.

• 21:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's gone.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  It's gone. And you're, every, the problem with LA is that everyone's still stuck in 2010. They're in, they're in a time capsule, and they're still playing the 2010 game, and it's dead. Everyone's moved on.

• 22:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  The 2010, what was happening, remind me?

• 22:11Speaker 03

  Political correctness, you don't say words, trans are magical animals. You know, all that shit. It's like, dude, I have trans friends. Trans are the only hot chicks who still hit on me, you know what I'm saying? So like, who, I don't hate anybody, live your life, fly your freaks.

• 22:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Trans are magical. It's true, because I have to say that from, like, the mom community. There's a heck of a lot more trans kids in LA, uh, not so many in Austin, that actually, not one that I've heard of at the schools my children go to. So that's kind of weird, societally.

• 22:44Speaker 03

  Young cousin, my cousin's kid went to school, and they had to put a kitty litter box in the bathroom because a kid thought he was a cat.

• 22:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Is that true?

• 22:54Speaker 03

  I, hand to God.

• 22:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's not just one of those stories on, you know this person?

• 22:57Speaker 03

  The little cousin told me, he's like, yeah, they had a kitty litter box in the bathroom.

• 23:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  You gotta move to Texas. Texas, Texas, don't play that shit, Sam.

• 23:06Speaker 03

  I'm not, I'm.

• 23:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Texas is done. We, they don't, Austin's liberal, it's liberal enough, it's like, nice.

• 23:10Speaker 03

  Austin is what LA used to be.

• 23:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Exactly.

• 23:13Speaker 03

  Where progressives and conservatives just hung out with each other.

• 23:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's right.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  They didn't see the world the same way.

• 23:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's right.

• 23:19Speaker 03

  They had their little pockets over here, they had their little pockets over there.

• 23:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, you can be whatever you want here, no one gives a shit.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Just fucking, I know.

• 23:25Speaker 03

  Not in the most, not in the, it's amazing how the most open-minded people get really angry if you don't see the world the same way they do.

• 23:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, that's, can I tell you something? That's just some LA shit, though. You come out here, I feel like you're gonna, you're gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  I would, I would do it tomorrow.

• 23:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yo, do we have any more M. Night Shyamalan? If you've been sitting on a business idea, Shopify is here to make it actually happen. And I'm here to tell you that the time to launch is now before the holiday rush sets in, because it really is going to be here before you know it. With Shopify, you don't have to spend all your spare time learning how to be an e-commerce expert just so you can launch a site and start selling. From the store to checkout to analytics, Shopify houses everything you need to get your business up and running all in one place. Shopify is the backbone of so many brands and businesses you know and love. Not only did I turn to them when I started Christina P. Cosmetics, our merch store here at YMH is powered by Shopify.

• 24:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  I cannot tell you how much I love Shopify as a business owner. It gives you all the information in real time. I can just, I look at my phone and I know how many sales I've done, who bought it, if it's been fulfilled, all the stuff that you need as a business owner. Get that idea off the ground before the rush of Black Friday and the holiday season hits. If you're ready to launch your business before Black Friday, go to Shopify.com/ YMH to start your free trial. That's Shopify.com/ YMH. Go to Shopify.com/ YMH today to hear your first.

• 25:02Speaker 07

  Welcome to the 50th Hunger Games.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  Witness the beginning of the revolution.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Hey Mitch, you've been trying to take down these games from Star.

• 25:09Speaker 00

  Film for IMAX.

• 25:11Speaker 01

  Make them remember you.

• 25:13Speaker 00

  The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping, November 20th, rated PG-13.

• 25:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're gonna die.

• 25:19Speaker 03

  Is this a weird show?

• 25:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, it's the best show ever. This is how, like, but just by the way.

• 25:25Speaker 03

  I come here and wreck everybody's shit.

• 25:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, can I tell you why? Because I think why good podcasts work is, like, you know the person that you're sitting across from. They're not just some celebrity who you know nothing about. Like, you and I have thirty years of rapport.

• 25:39Speaker 03

  Thirty years.

• 25:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 25:41Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 25:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's like, I'm gonna talk shit with you because you're my fucking homie. If the mics weren't on, this is exactly how we'd be talking.

• 25:47Speaker 03

  One hundred percent.

• 25:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  So this is more interesting, like Joey Diaz says, this is the Wyatt Tap, people want to listen to the Wyatt Tap.

• 25:53Speaker 03

  Oh, I love that, dude.

• 25:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  All right, you're gonna die. So you know M. Night Shyamalan?

• 25:59Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 26:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's decided to become accessible to us now on YouTube, and he's been sharing his.

• 26:05Speaker 03

  Already beat me on YouTube, four videos, surpassed me.

• 26:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  But, but, can you show him an example of the deep stuff that he's sharing with us?

• 26:13Speaker 05

  I'm M. Night Shyamalan. I'm a filmmaker, make movies for a living.

• 26:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  We know asshole.

• 26:18Speaker 05

  And this is my YouTube channel.

• 26:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, oh.

• 26:25Speaker 05

  What I hope it is. Is an opportunity.

• 26:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck, I'm bored.

• 26:31Speaker 05

  To reflect and get to know each other deeply.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  Two million people.

• 26:34Speaker 05

  Probably the main thing I think of.

• 26:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Who's watching this shit? We are.

• 26:38Speaker 03

  Is this OK Cupid? Like, what are we doing here? Are you trying to date right now? Like, what?

• 26:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's wrong with the hem of his pants, too? He can't afford pants that fit. He had to undo the bottom. What's wrong with this guy?

• 26:50Speaker 03

  What, you got scarecrow pants on? What is that?

• 26:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  The messiness. It's so messy. Look how messy he's been right now.

• 26:58Speaker 03

  Look at that log. It's perfect.

• 27:00Speaker 05

  Not great.

• 27:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's not great. Don't worry. Success.

• 27:03Speaker 05

  Well, for you guys and for me and.

• 27:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, for you, too?

• 27:06Speaker 05

  You know, it's like thirty years making movies and I wanna

• 27:11Speaker 05

  undo it a little bit.

• 27:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh.

• 27:13Speaker 05

  You know, undo whatever stigmas are in my head or.

• 27:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  What are you talking?

• 27:17Speaker 03

  So you're bigoted.

• 27:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Shut the fuck. Turn it off. I can't.

• 27:19Speaker 03

  Listen.

• 27:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's insufferable.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  Indians. Indians from Indians. I gotta say something's gonna probably get people. Indians from India annoy the fuck out of me.

• 27:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why?

• 27:29Speaker 03

  They're just like, they're, they're, have you seen India?

• 27:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Uh, my stepdad was Indian. Yeah, but they come to America because it's better than India.

• 27:37Speaker 03

  And then the second generation, they're like Wiggers. They become like SoundCloud rappers and bang white chicks. Like, Indians are now the, the, the acceptable ethnic to bring home to your dad.

• 27:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hey, I'm down with India. I love India. My stepdad was Indian. I have three Indian stepsisters. I'm so down. I'll tell you why. I like those Indians that come here because they're like, fuck my country of origin. I'm gonna come to America where shit fucking happens.

• 28:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you gotta show, listen.

• 28:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like that.

• 28:05Speaker 03

  I love.

• 28:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like any immigrants that come here.

• 28:08Speaker 03

  I love big cities because you get a flavor of everybody.

• 28:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, but you don't like their flavors.

• 28:12Speaker 03

  No, it's, you can bring your flavor. I'm fine with that. It's just, you gotta simulate us.

• 28:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Assimilate.

• 28:19Speaker 03

  You got, yeah, simulate. What did I say? Simulate?

• 28:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  You said simulate.

• 28:22Speaker 03

  You gotta stimulate us. You gotta get us hard, quick, or you're fucking out. If I'm not rock hard within six months of being here, I want you to fuck out of my country.

• 28:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is, you can't talk to normals like this, Sammy. You cannot talk to regulars.

• 28:43Speaker 03

  I'm gonna lose this whole show.

• 28:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  God, I missed you.

• 28:47Speaker 03

  My special.

• 28:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love you.

• 28:48Speaker 03

  No, I.

• 28:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, but wait, it's not his Indian-ness. I think it's, for me, what's, and I see what you're saying. I get it. You don't like their culture. You don't like their smelly food.

• 28:55Speaker 03

  It's just like they have a class system. They, they believe in like, you're born in something, you can't get out of there.

• 29:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sort of the English.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  It's not how we do it, dude.

• 29:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  You come over here, you work hard, and they're cool. I get it. Here, they're fine. Over there?

• 29:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  It's like, they got a, they're like, all the tech guys.

• 29:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  Are ran by Indians.

• 29:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  And they're all politically correct, yet their god is like Sheba the Destroyer, who's got eight arms and rips dicks, but they're sensitive over here. Like, get out of here.

• 29:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, listen. Here's the thing. I, I see what you're saying. I agree to disagree. Because I, I, I love the Indians. Yeah, exactly. Thank you.

• 29:32Speaker 03

  Indians. I want to be on the record.

• 29:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  Okay, I just, you can't come here and then set up your own. Don't bring, don't, don't, this is the same thing for Mexicans. I love Mexicans.

• 29:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  We gotta cut all this out. Sammy, I'm saving you from yourself.

• 29:45Speaker 03

  No, you can put it out. I'll say it to anybody. Like, come here, be cool. I love it. Assimilate.

• 29:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  I do, but that's an old school.

• 29:53Speaker 03

  Don't come here and bring, and then just do the same thing here.

• 29:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, that's true. That's what my parents believe, which is like, you come here and.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  Know Armenian.

• 30:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  Because my, my, my grandparents are like, no, dude, you gotta be, you gotta be American.

• 30:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  American, but that was the, the way that you did it. Because I know for fuck's sure, if you go over to the Arab world, you think they're gonna cater to your bullshit.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  Hey, dude, let's open a trans bar here.

• 30:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, here's the best part. So.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Am I losing everybody?

• 30:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, not at all. Not at all. M. Night Shyamalan, he's very boring and he's insufferable. And he's got so many subscribers and people that are interested in listening to him talk about absolute nonsense. I'm so jealous and resentful. It took me years to get as many subscribers as he got in two weeks. What is he sharing with us now? Let, let's hear the latest.

• 30:44Speaker 04

  This is the latest. So he's talking to college students.

• 30:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, boy.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  Great.

• 30:48Speaker 05

  I'm gonna make movies, and when we promote a movie, we go on a thing called a junket, which is kind of, you sit in a room and then reporters kind of rotate in and they ask you questions. And they only have a few minutes and they fire questions away. We do this all day long.

• 31:00Speaker 07

  That you want to do something new with every film by doing something that nobody's ever done before. So what was that for Splint?

• 31:06Speaker 05

  And I kept thinking, well, wouldn't that be fun to do with students, like college students? So this is that. I went to Villanova University.

• 31:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  I get it. No, no, no. Press pause. Press pause. You don't need to set it up with what a press junket is and then show clips of a girl kissing your ass. You're an amazing filmmaker. You can just say, I want to interview college students. Intro, done. And he's a fucking filmmaker? I'm not a director of hit movies. I can tell you right now, that was way too long.

• 31:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  All right, well, okay, let's, so, so the point of the story is, I'm going to talk to college kids. Period. Okay, next. I mean, how long does it take to get into the fucking?

• 31:50Speaker 05

  They all hang out, and I got in a booth and I let the kids ask me whatever they wanted.

• 31:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's called Ask Me Anything. AMA. Okay, you retard. You never heard of fucking? Oh, I gotta watch him put in the directions now?

• 32:03Speaker 03

  Why is he dressed like a valet?

• 32:08Speaker 05

  It'll be weird. We'll see.

• 32:13Speaker 05

  And I'm sure some, some of them will be just more open and ready than others.

• 32:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Ew.

• 32:20Speaker 05

  I will do if there's a question that isn't coming from someone's heart.

• 32:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, what's he gonna do? Sorry, press pause. Wait a minute. What's he gonna do if a question doesn't?

• 32:31Speaker 03

  That doesn't sound like it.

• 32:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, I wanna fucking kill myself listening to him talk. I wanna fucking kill myself. Could you imagine listening to this asshole? You're married to this?

• 32:43Speaker 03

  His subscribers go down because they've all off themselves.

• 32:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  And also, wait, what is he gonna do if he doesn't want to answer a question that's from, not from someone? What are you gonna do? Sam, how would you?

• 33:01Speaker 03

  Just start slapping him. I don't know, man. I, I, I'm dying to see what happens.

• 33:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, let's see, let's see. I'm gonna kill myself getting, I don't know. I've never been suicidal in my life.

• 33:12Speaker 05

  Chat GPT thing, you know?

• 33:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, God forbid.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  I wanna be on pharmaceuticals.

• 33:18Speaker 05

  Do you think that they're

• 33:20Speaker 05

  asking AI what to ask me?

• 33:22Speaker 03

  This guy's like acting like he's walking into a clan meeting, like he's about to ask the Grand Wizard about Indians.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  Let's go to a wig shop.

• 33:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  He needs diarrhea before the show. What? This place is great. I'm Gina. Very nice to meet you. Why is he shaking?

• 33:49Speaker 04

  My name's Andrew DeJonda.

• 33:51Speaker 05

  Say it again?

• 33:52Speaker 04

  Andrew DeJonda. It's nice to meet you.

• 33:55Speaker 05

  What year are you?

• 33:55Speaker 04

  I'm a, I'm a junior this year.

• 33:58Speaker 05

  And what's your field?

• 33:58Speaker 03

  Can we get some non-binaries in?

• 34:02Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 34:03Speaker 03

  I'm always suspect of guys who have good skin.

• 34:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  All right, put, press pause. Again, he has to show us, first of all, he's shaking the waitress's hand as she's running food out. And if you've worked as a server.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  Hold on, did you just touch that Indian?

• 34:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Left hand or right hand?

• 34:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's the problem with that scene.

• 34:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, fuck, you're a server. You're running food out. She's got trays in both hands and he's like, I'm M. He doesn't even say his stupid name. Why are you just shaking a random server's hand, stupid? Nobody wants to shake your hand, dummy. She's working.

• 34:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  God, what a fucking idiot. Yeah, help her, dummy.

• 35:03Speaker 03

  Clean up her section.

• 35:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  You know how much fucking, how hard it is?

• 35:07Speaker 03

  It's impossible.

• 35:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's, she's stacking plates.

• 35:09Speaker 03

  Did you ever weigh tables?

• 35:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of course.

• 35:11Speaker 03

  Oh, the worst, dude.

• 35:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's such a hard gig.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 35:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's the hardest. Okay, and then he has to, what, how old are you? What are you made of? Just get to the question. I'm nuts. This guy's so nervous, too. This kid with this stupid haircut. He should be like, what's wrong with your haircut? Jesus. Well, they both have stupid haircuts.

• 35:31Speaker 05

  You come here, first of all, tell me.

• 35:33Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, I come here.

• 35:33Speaker 05

  So this is your spot.

• 35:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, you come here. This is your spot. Yeah, no shit.

• 35:37Speaker 04

  Actually, the mac and cheese bites.

• 35:38Speaker 05

  You know, this is crazy.

• 35:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow. He looks like he's eating a turd. He's never had a mac and cheese bite in his life.

• 35:49Speaker 04

  No. I think all of my money and, um, goes to this place.

• 35:54Speaker 05

  Separate the damn good, by the way.

• 35:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, oh yeah, for sure. But, so, um, I guess I really, like, was thinking about asking you was, um, like, what advice do you have for young filmmakers, like, coming up in the industry?

• 36:05Speaker 03

  Have rich parents that fund everything.

• 36:08Speaker 05

  I mean, it's so interesting, when you ask me that question, I go, I feel like rephrasing your question to say, what is it you knew when I was your age that I forgot?

• 36:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Press pause. Okay. First of all, he didn't even assess that the question was from the kid's heart, okay? So.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  But is this from your heart?

• 36:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, could you fucking, yeah, asshole. And all he's asking is, would, do you have any advice for kids coming up? And then he has to rephrase the question to his liking. Did you hear how he did that?

• 36:36Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  What you're actually asking is...

• 36:38Speaker 03

  This is not Crossfire. This is not. Listen, my favorite thing is the kid's like, so what would you tell young filmmakers? He's like, well, what I wanna say is like, what did I forget when I was your age? And it's like, I don't wanna know what you knew when I...

• 36:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  No!

• 36:54Speaker 03

  I don't know what you know if you made fucking one great movie and five stinkers, right? Like, ah, like, hey dude, why do you think the last five movies you did were dogshit compared to the first one?

• 37:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  God. And I'm just, I'm still not sure I understand why he needs to be Mr. Relatability right now. Cause clearly, he doesn't even know how to dress to go into a wing place or eat pizza.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  Who wears a vest at a wing place?

• 37:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, what the fuck are you doing?

• 37:19Speaker 03

  Exactly, dude.

• 37:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't know why he needs to show us that he's relatable, because he's not.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  I think he thought I was going to a hookah place.

• 37:28Speaker 03

  And they're like, hold on, I thought we were doing hookah. Now I'm at a fucking wing shop with a pasty white?

• 37:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  And they're not even eating wings. He got the pizza. Okay, let, let's hear what M. Night Shyamalan llama, and then I gotta do my fucking parent teacher call and come right back.

• 37:42Speaker 05

  From my selfish point of view, why I'm doing this, all of this and doing this.

• 37:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Your selfish point of view. Yeah, why, why?

• 37:47Speaker 05

  I wanna do this around the world, is I wanna remember again. You already know something.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:51Speaker 05

  That I've forgotten.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's that?

• 37:54Speaker 05

  But what I...

• 37:55Speaker 03

  Why, though?

• 37:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's not answering the question.

• 37:59Speaker 05

  Just intuitively, maybe it was the way I was brought up, or whatever it was, or the movies that I saw and the things like, you know, that my voice is the only thing that's worth anything.

• 38:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, there, that's the answer, dummy.

• 38:11Speaker 05

  And being honest to that voice, you know, is the critical part.

• 38:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, finally. Now, this is the first fucking thing this guy has said that's been real in all the videos that we've watched of him. Just be yourself. Do your own voice.

• 38:24Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 38:26Speaker 03

  But I feel like people have been hearing that for fucking ever. How about, hey dude, I would go, hey man, how'd you get money for your movies?

• 38:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, money, money. Where do I get money?

• 38:34Speaker 03

  How do I get money to make my movies?

• 38:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, who funds your films?

• 38:37Speaker 03

  Who's your dad? Are they, is your mom single? Does she have cash? If I knock the bottom of it, would she fund my movie?

• 38:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Because you're right, that's such like a rich, spoiled person's answer of like, just be yourself. Just have fun out there. It's like, no, no, no, this kid's broke.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, this kid, he's spending all his money at a wing shop.

• 38:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 38:56Speaker 03

  He wants to make his movie. How, how do I get my first movie made?

• 39:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can I tell you what we did to get, uh, successful? Whatever the fuck Joe Rogan did, that's what we did.

• 39:05Speaker 03

  I respect the shit out of him.

• 39:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  A hundred times. Ever in your life, yeah, I could give you all the advice. Find the person that's got the life you think you want, and copy whatever the fuck it is they did. Ask as many questions, and if they're opening willing, copy the formula.

• 39:19Speaker 03

  Pablo Francisco gave me that advice in stand-up. It's like, you're funny, you're way too dark. But, find the comic that you like, emulate him, and then go, and then you'll find your own way.

• 39:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  You'll find a way to make your living.

• 39:33Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 39:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, so let's see if he's gonna be honest about money. There's no way this guy's gonna be honest about money and funding. Okay, let's see.

• 39:42Speaker 05

  Saying that's honest to what I, I am, with all the bad stuff in that. Don't try to, you hide the bad to pretend you don't have it.

• 39:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:51Speaker 05

  It's gonna have no power, right?

• 39:53Speaker 04

  It's like an honest, honest...

• 39:54Speaker 05

  Genuinely, you know, the, the thing that you have to develop is an ear for yourself.

• 40:00Speaker 04

  Yes, yeah.

• 40:01Speaker 03

  Listen.

• 40:01Speaker 05

  But that's the big thing, that you're trying...

• 40:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sammy.

• 40:04Speaker 03

  You could just write a script that is so true to you. I could write a script about almost getting [BLEEP] by Father Dan, right?

• 40:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  In the bloodbath?

• 40:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, in the, like, just call it Bloodbath.

• 40:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 40:15Speaker 03

  Everyone thinks it's a Vonda movie, but about me almost getting [BLEEP] by Catholic priests. And, and if I can't find money, nobody's gonna make it.

• 40:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of course, sweetie. This is the, this is the only fucking answer this asshole needs to give this kid.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Money.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. How do you get money?

• 40:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  How do you get someone to give you money to make the shit you wanna make, dummy?

• 40:38Speaker 03

  That's what this kid needs to know.

• 40:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, let's see if he's gonna even remotely be normal.

• 40:42Speaker 05

  The time we're trying to fit in, we're trying to code switch.

• 40:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Code switch.

• 40:45Speaker 05

  This person, that person, the pretty girl, whatever it is, we're code switching when, when we can figure out what they want us to be. And that's beautiful in, in and of itself, but we'll, we, we lose all our power if we betray ourselves.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  Right.

• 40:58Speaker 05

  So, having that ear, you write a scene, you know, and the scene goes in here.

• 41:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, skip forward. I mean, he's still...

• 41:05Speaker 03

  There is something to what he just said.

• 41:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  There is.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  But none of that means anything if you can't get funding.

• 41:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of course, but you can also read the book, The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. If you wanna be a creative person, the book is tiny, tiny, and Steven Pressfield says all the same shit that M. Night Shyamalan llama is saying to this ass, poor kid, okay? This poor kid, he's so nervous.

• 41:25Speaker 04

  But yeah, for sure. Well, I'm, I'm kinda interested, I mean, we're talking a lot about movies, what are your, what are your top four movies?

• 41:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  No! He's gonna say his own. He's gonna say his own. Hitchcock? Hitchcock?

• 41:36Speaker 05

  I have eight hundred on the shelf.

• 41:37Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 41:37Speaker 05

  Right now.

• 41:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:38Speaker 05

  The shelf is a literal shelf in my house that has...

• 41:41Speaker 03

  Whoa!

• 41:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow!

• 41:42Speaker 03

  That's crazy! It's a real shelf!

• 41:45Speaker 05

  But, and there's probably another eight hundred that I, I, I didn't get, put on there.

• 41:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, wow!

• 41:50Speaker 05

  If you came and saw, they're, they're buried all, all over the place.

• 41:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, so what is it, stupid?

• 41:55Speaker 05

  This year, which ones have you, have you liked?

• 41:57Speaker 03

  Oh, he didn't even answer it!

• 41:59Speaker 05

  Me too.

• 42:00Speaker 04

  Very well done.

• 42:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hey, Sam! Push pause. Sam, what's your favorite movies? Gimme, gimme top movies.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Fight Club.

• 42:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  There you go.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Taxi Driver.

• 42:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Perfect. Great. Same, same.

• 42:10Speaker 03

  Everything Everywhere All at Once.

• 42:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Very smart, loved it.

• 42:14Speaker 03

  That's a great fucking movie.

• 42:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. See how easy that question is to answer?

• 42:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, Ghostbusters.

• 42:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Ghostbusters is my tip.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  I'll throw it out there, dude.

• 42:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Love Ghostbusters, Coming to America.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  I saw Five Dollar, oh yeah, great.

• 42:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  So good. Uh, Royal Tenenbaums, I watched that once a quarter. Rushmore.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  Oh, by the way.

• 42:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Star Wars.

• 42:31Speaker 03

  Super Mario is fire. Have you ever tried to get your kids to watch the dogshit you grew up with? You're like, hey, let's watch Charlie Brown, where this guy took his shit on the screen after we watched Super Mario, which is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life.

• 42:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's so good, that new movie. Yeah, the new one, it's so much better.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  It's so beyond anything we ever grew up with.

• 42:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  My kid, I try to get them to do Charlie Brown, and they're like, what the fuck is this? Their, their mouths aren't even moving.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  It looks like a snuff film. It's very weird when you're, you're, you, you have this thing, there's a couple moments in your life as a parent, you're like, like, I've come to the conclusion, my kids aren't going pro in any sport. My daughter runs like a, like, I just, she's, she's, she's very athletic, but she's not gonna go pro. And I, you know, which is great. Uh, and then it's like the reading thing, it's like, they don't get, they don't get, and then they get it, and it's like the most magical thing in the world.

• 43:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, it changes everything. Now they...

• 43:30Speaker 03

  So my daughter reads at like a second, third grade level.

• 43:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  And then we're, you know, getting math is like, you gotta work on it, man.

• 43:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  And you're like, get, it's easy. And she's like, I don't, this is too much. I'm like, this is the easiest it gets.

• 43:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  First grade homework is the easiest it gets.

• 43:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. And can I tell you, though, it, they have to master those fundamentals, and then the rest is much easier. You know, cause I didn't master shit.

• 43:58Speaker 03

  My biggest fear is my daughter will be me and be held back in first grade.

• 44:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  She could be.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  I'd be like...

• 44:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's not bad, though, because then she's the leader of the pack.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 44:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Do you know what I mean? It's kinda good for their self-esteem. They used to push kids forward if you were born. You know, like, those kids that were a little bit older, they used to, uh, push you into the next grade, and now they hold you back, which I think is better.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  I, uh, now these kids are going to college, they can't even do basic math. And everyone's blaming teachers. It's hard to be a parent, cause you gotta work so much. And then on top of that, you have to, like, focus on your kids. It's not a lot of, it was so, I went to col, I don't even know how I got into college. I was...

• 44:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  I didn't know you went to college.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, I graduated from UNLV. I, I, I don't even know how I did it.

• 44:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah, Las Vegas, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:42Speaker 03

  But, so I, I, I went to, uh, college, and they put me in like a special English class for idiots, and it was just me and hot chicks.

• 44:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Perfect.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Just nothing but smoke shows. I've never been so happy to be so retarded in my life. It was great.

• 44:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  All right, let's see what else this, what, what pearls of wisdom, M. Night?

• 45:02Speaker 03

  I would love to interview this kid after. Like, what'd you get out of it?

• 45:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  What it, what, what pearls of wisdom did you come away with?

• 45:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  And can I tell you, too, when I look at M. Night's face, I don't see the lights on. Do you know what I mean? There's no soul. Like, I don't see the person.

• 45:21Speaker 03

  There's no fire.

• 45:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, like, where are you, dude?

• 45:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Who's in there? I don't trust this shit.

• 45:27Speaker 03

  There's no like, crazy passion for something. Like, when you see Quentin Tarantino talk about movies, he's just like, ah, you know, it's like, ah, you're like, oh, this guy loves what he does.

• 45:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's a filmmaker, yeah. It's a weirdo, it's cool.

• 45:39Speaker 03

  Where are the outlaws?

• 45:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know, man.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  Can we be provocative again? I mean, I got this show kicked off of YouTube. I mean, it's like, can we just say provocative things again?

• 45:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  You can. You just have to take the heat for it now. You gotta take responsibility.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  I'm crispy burnt.

• 45:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. Okay, right, come on, come on, let's...

• 45:57Speaker 04

  Did a great job.

• 45:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:59Speaker 04

  I just watched, like, the Odyssey, I thought was, um...

• 46:01Speaker 05

  You love that, yeah. Well, Chris is great.

• 46:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's, he's a great job.

• 46:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love Chris, he's great.

• 46:05Speaker 03

  Waiting on the limb.

• 46:07Speaker 05

  Me too, by the way.

• 46:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  By the way.

• 46:09Speaker 04

  I thought it was like, that was a human story. I was like, what we were talking about, it felt so human.

• 46:12Speaker 05

  I thought they did a great job. They're so quirky, right? So those guys are so quirky. They're perfectly, that's what we're talking about. They're slightly calibrated.

• 46:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  They're slightly calibrated. What's wrong with his voice?

• 46:24Speaker 05

  Kinetic with them.

• 46:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hyperkinetic.

• 46:26Speaker 03

  I, I would love if that to be, if this is like...

• 46:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Press pause, Sammy's...

• 46:30Speaker 03

  He's like, if I'm going to go hang out with human beings, and try to connect, this is, like, have you ever seen this in like a sitcom or something? Or like, in Entourage, where like, go hang out with the normies?

• 46:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 46:42Speaker 03

  And act like you're a normie person.

• 46:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, it's like Young Sheldon.

• 46:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, he's like, oh, da, da, da, da, you're like...

• 46:47Speaker 03

  We're doing human stuff. Exciting. And then a fly comes by and his tongue comes out and eats it.

• 46:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  The reptilian that he is. He's definitely a reptilian.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  Oh, it's just.

• 47:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's definitely, but his movies didn't do well enough to be reptilian.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  Well, the first one crushed.

• 47:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes, amazing.

• 47:06Speaker 03

  Weird one with Mel Gibson, back when Mel Gibson.

• 47:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  When he got racist, he went crazy.

• 47:11Speaker 03

  He went crazy. He yelled the most unholy shit.

• 47:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  On the phone.

• 47:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I think I wrote many jokes about him on Chelsea Lately. I think, thank you, Mel Gibson.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  And then, you know, but like, it's just two interesting people.

• 47:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, these are two dorks. Two nerds.

• 47:30Speaker 03

  Wouldn't you love to just, if we could jump in their heads?

• 47:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  And talk for them?

• 47:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Or just to even like, just to say what's really in your heart. Just, just be honest, M Night.

• 47:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  What do you really, can I tell you what it is? And this is Meghan Markle's problem, too.

• 47:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think they're demons, reptilian demons. Like you said, in real life, they're rich, they're entitled, they're shit people, but they're pretending to be nice.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 47:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  And that's when you get fucked.

• 47:58Speaker 03

  That's.

• 47:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cause it reads inauthentic. You know what? Be a.

• 48:01Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 48:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  I would rather he go in there and be like, fuck Odyssey.

• 48:05Speaker 03

  We love a villain, dude. Give us a villain.

• 48:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Just anybody with, be, be honest. If you want to be a.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  Be a.

• 48:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Get Martha Stewart. She's a.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  Joan Rivers had.

• 48:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Best.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  Worked forever.

• 48:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Best.

• 48:20Speaker 03

  People want authenticity, and even if you're a fucking asshole.

• 48:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 48:26Speaker 03

  Everyone's trying to be nice.

• 48:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  You don't, don't try to be nice. This is boring.

• 48:30Speaker 03

  And that's where you lose yourself and you actually become a bigger asshole, when you can't be your true self.

• 48:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  And everyone's true self is a different, gets you in different levels, but it's like, it's just like, it's, it's this Thomas Sowell quote, and it's like, in a, in a culture that demands perfection, only liars can make it.

• 48:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 48:51Speaker 03

  And that's what they're, they're playing the game of what they think people want.

• 48:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm dying. Okay, a little bit more and then I'm gonna throw up.

• 48:59Speaker 05

  Even in the craziness of shooting with cameras and this and that and all that stuff. So that's when you have a superpower. Can you, like a singer on stage, be authentic right on stage, right on?

• 49:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's still talking about this?

• 49:12Speaker 05

  That's become, then you become, that's, yeah, boom, shoot to the sky.

• 49:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah.

• 49:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:18Speaker 05

  Come to meet you. You're so.

• 49:20Speaker 04

  Very nice meeting you.

• 49:21Speaker 03

  Imagine if you were like.

• 49:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hold on, he said, come to me, dude. Do you think he's gonna give this kid a job?

• 49:26Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 49:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, right.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  Does, does, Shyamalan look like he just pounds puss all the time? Like, he's just, or does he look like he could be like?

• 49:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, he, he, he wears the big wedding ring, like to let the world. Well, he's got a wedding ring on and, and he's very big and chunky, which is, I think, always real sauce.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  Really?

• 49:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. The bigger the wedding ring, you know what I mean? Like really signifying what a, what a.

• 49:54Speaker 03

  Oh, God. I've mated with women. Women like me.

• 50:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why would you, can I just say, if you're this rich, why would you even get married as a man? Why the fuck would you do this?

• 50:06Speaker 03

  All the time with these pro athletes. They're like 21, they're like, we're getting married. I'm like, why?

• 50:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why?

• 50:12Speaker 03

  What are you doing? You know who did it right? Derek Jeter. Played his entire career, retired, then got married.

• 50:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Great. When you're done fucking.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 50:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  And, and the money, you got, you got enough money to get a hot, young one, and you just peace out.

• 50:25Speaker 03

  When you're too tired to fuck.

• 50:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 50:27Speaker 03

  Get married.

• 50:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 50:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sage wisdom.

• 50:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. When you just bolt for a nap, that is love.

• 50:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  If you're a man. Now, if you're a woman, the game is totally opposite.

• 50:39Speaker 03

  And that's, nobody wants to hear that.

• 50:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Totally different.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  Get it early, dude. Get it early, get it out of the way. Be a young, crazy, hot mom.

• 50:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I know.

• 50:50Speaker 03

  It's right?

• 50:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. I'm trying. We'll see.

• 50:52Speaker 03

  Fucking quality blacks. Just quality fucking wreck your ass blacks. Just angry, angry, angry.

• 51:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Which blacks? Who am I gonna?

• 51:05Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, depends. Like, if you, if you want to like a stable black, you go Major League Baseball. Yeah.

• 51:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  But they're not in good shape.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  No, Major League Baseball players are in phenomenal shape.

• 51:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  They have fat bellies and stuff?

• 51:17Speaker 03

  No, I mean, there's like two pitchers that are fat. The rest of them are quality.

• 51:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cause I want them, I want in shape now. You know what I mean?

• 51:23Speaker 03

  See, the problem is the best isn't NHL. My brother used to run a hotel and he's like, the nicest ones are the NHL. The nicest guys.

• 51:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  The nicest, but they're in Canada.

• 51:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, and there's only three blacks in the NHL, so it's like, good luck getting that. There's a waiting list for that.

• 51:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's true, but I need a, I need an athletic black, is what you're saying.

• 51:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, so you go NBA.

• 51:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  And NBA.

• 51:45Speaker 03

  NBA, yes. They're just gonna wreck you. They don't know anything about pulling out.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  I mean, they're knocking up porn stars, these guys.

• 51:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, then maybe that's a little too gnarly. Like, what if I did, like?

• 51:59Speaker 03

  Football's nice.

• 52:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Football's nice. Those guys are.

• 52:02Speaker 03

  Depends on what you're looking for. If you're looking for fast and slick, you want a wide receiver. If you want just a, a mountain of a man, you go, and they can't run away that fast, you can catch them, you go, you go defensive lineman. They're slow, they're fat, they're happy, you're just, you're there.

• 52:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Ah, all right. Come on, let's do my TikToks. This is my absolute favorite bit.

• 52:24Speaker 03

  I can't find the crazy.

• 52:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, because you know why? You're on the wrong side of the TikTok. You're looking at normie stuff. You're looking at girls doing dances and shit. I've not been on my stories on Instagram. That's why.

• 52:35Speaker 03

  I'll go with you. I gotta get in there. It just sucks my IQ points out.

• 52:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I know.

• 52:39Speaker 03

  I just feel dumber.

• 52:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  How cute is that? A parrot?

• 52:48Speaker 03

  Adorable.

• 52:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Putting blush on?

• 52:50Speaker 03

  Then eating the makeup?

• 52:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, that's fucking quality talk. Look how sweet that bird is. You ever had a bird for a pet?

• 53:02Speaker 03

  I want one bad.

• 53:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  They shit all over your house. Right now, that bird's gonna shit all over that.

• 53:07Speaker 03

  Don't you keep him in a cage?

• 53:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  So mean.

• 53:10Speaker 03

  You let him fly out? He just shits?

• 53:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. It'll land on your curtains and shit on your curtains.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  I shit all over my house. Me and my daughter both shit our pants on the same day.

• 53:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Isn't that nice?

• 53:23Speaker 03

  It's like, I feel like a bond.

• 53:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Synergy. Yeah, I do like the poop stuff in our house, too. Like, we're so open, you know? Like, the boys.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  Blow it out.

• 53:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Shard or fart, and they're like, mommy, I shit my pants. Just get in the shower, dude.

• 53:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, wash it down. My daughter loves to wash, shower. It's like, oop, shower, get in there.

• 53:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, just shower, dude.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  You just wash down the holes.

• 53:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Here, here you go. You'll like this.

• 53:48Speaker 00

  I am Tulio, and I'm a big fan of Latina women that like and enjoy.

• 53:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 53:54Speaker 00

  Making snarling faces in video clips and pictures.

• 54:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  What? Now you like TikTok? Come on.

• 54:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I need to get on your algorithm.

• 54:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is amazing. He likes the making snarling faces, which they totally do.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, they, Latinas do make snarling great. They're, they're very much the pit bulls of the human race.

• 54:33Speaker 03

  The, the most painful part of this video for me is this guy sells more tickets than I do.

• 54:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  There's a problem with this show. It's only popular for 10 seconds. You're like, I got it. I can't listen to five guys meowing, beat it. Can you imagine listening to 10 guys meow, beat it?

• 55:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fucking, I don't know.

• 55:06Speaker 03

  This is when I'm like, aliens, please come. Probe all of us. Wrap it up. A grown man is like, the guy who looks like he's a manager at Verizon Wireless is meow, meow, meow, meow.

• 55:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  But still, I'd rather watch this than all the M Night Shyamalan.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  Unbelievable. Emma, come to the meowing thing. Get a personality. Learn how to, like, I would watch M, Mlamshyamadamma Ding Dong at a meowing contest.

• 55:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  All day.

• 55:36Speaker 03

  All day.

• 55:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Now, that's right. Now you let him meow.

• 55:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Beat it? I'm in, dude.

• 55:41Speaker 03

  And now suddenly, his movies are good. He goes, I got it. I, I finally got it. The meowing brought me to the next level.

• 55:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, and also too, don't you find that the older you get, just the, the, the more fun you have? Cause you realize, like, why am I, what have we taken this seriously? Nobody cares about you.

• 56:05Speaker 03

  My kidneys giving out. Like, being old is great, dude. It is. There's no pressure.

• 56:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 56:11Speaker 03

  I did a show in Lawrence, Kansas, and all these young kids are like, you gonna come out with us? No. I'm going home, beating off and going to bed.

• 56:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Truth.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  Call it a day.

• 56:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Call it a day.

• 56:24Speaker 03

  I'm over it. I did all, I got robbed by a hooker twice. I don't need to go to Dave and Buster's with you tonight.

• 56:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  By the way, why the fuck are adults going to Dave and Buster's? That's another one. Like, your kids are playing there and there's drunk assholes with beers in their hands, spilling beer.

• 56:39Speaker 03

  Commercials, it's only interracial couples, too. I don't know what it is, but black guy, you want to be a nice black coat at Dave and Buster's?

• 56:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  I should go to it, but I want athletic black.

• 56:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's what we're talking about.

• 56:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, there they are.

• 56:58Speaker 03

  Interracial couples.

• 56:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  They're so happy together.

• 57:00Speaker 03

  And look who showed up, M9 Shabadon's in the back.

• 57:06Speaker 03

  He's just a man of the people.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  Interracial couples love Dave and Buster.

• 57:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm so glad.

• 57:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  I wouldn't go.

• 57:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  If they worked for this diverse.

• 57:21Speaker 03

  Imagine being you went, you're like, oh, sorry, you're not interracial.

• 57:27Speaker 03

  Fire quality black.

• 57:34Speaker 03

  Oh, that's what you should get.

• 57:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 57:36Speaker 03

  You should get. You can bust the rhymes, let them light you up. Oh, yeah.

• 57:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude.

• 57:42Speaker 03

  Oh, I would.

• 57:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  I need a rapper.

• 57:44Speaker 03

  Internet would explode.

• 57:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  I need a rapper.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  If you started, oh, yeah, dude.

• 57:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  I need a rapper.

• 57:48Speaker 03

  Just with a bad breath and gold grills.

• 57:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  I need a rapper. I'd date Fiddy.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  Oh, that'd be great.

• 57:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  He likes horns. He likes Chelsea, remember?

• 57:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 57:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like Bust the Rhymes. I like Snoop, but Snoop's married. I really love Snoop.

• 58:03Speaker 03

  Snoop Dogg is great.

• 58:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's the best.

• 58:05Speaker 03

  The real one was DMX. That's why they took him. Oh, the best. He's like these homo thugs, just couldn't stop singing about gay rappers.

• 58:17Speaker 03

  Isn't it crazy? They're all gay.

• 58:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. I know.

• 58:21Speaker 03

  We thought gang banging was, it's a different gang bang.

• 58:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's a totally different story. All right, here we go. I got some more for you, Sammy.

• 58:29Speaker 03

  Down to 20 minutes?

• 58:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 58:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's called fun. We're having it.

• 58:38Speaker 03

  Fun.

• 58:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  I found my.

• 58:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's athletic as shit.

• 58:47Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. Did we see that again? I didn't see it.

• 58:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  You missed it.

• 58:51Speaker 03

  Powerful.

• 58:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, watch, watch, dude. You don't even know what the.

• 58:54Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, he's got bigger cans than I do.

• 58:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, watch, watch.

• 58:57Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 58:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're gonna like this.

• 59:01Speaker 03

  Master something. That's what I said.

• 59:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  Master, find a skill, master.

• 59:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  But again, I would rather watch this than M Night Shyamalan talk about anything.

• 59:10Speaker 03

  100%. And there's a whole ecosystem of like that. People will show up.

• 59:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 59:16Speaker 03

  Probably more people than the Meow Meow people. And they would just see who can hop on their ass.

• 59:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  With your ass. But I would watch that.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  Ass skipping.

• 59:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like, do we have any more taser fighting in, in, in alleys? Hold on, let me show you this. Tell me how much would you pay for a ticket? Where is it, kiddos?

• 59:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, this is, okay, taser boxing.

• 59:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's amazing.

• 59:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, look at that. Now, here's the thing.

• 59:54Speaker 03

  You need to start a pro league.

• 59:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's what I was just gonna say.

• 59:57Speaker 03

  You need to start a pro league.

• 59:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like the W.

• 59:59Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 59:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Your mom's house is gonna sponsor.

• 1:00:01Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:00:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  We're gonna create, just like WWF or whatever, get this sanctioned. Do I have to get this sanctioned or done?

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  We're underground.

• 1:00:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like Fight Club, but with tasers. It's so good.

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  The Russia of America, Idaho, where they have no laws and we just go fucking nuts. And you can just taser each other.

• 1:00:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  The Russia of Americas, Idaho.

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  Do it, dude.

• 1:00:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Isn't it Shreveport?

• 1:00:27Speaker 03

  Oh, Louisiana too, dude. Oh, yeah.

• 1:00:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, there's parts of the South we can do this.

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  There's some parts of South where there are no laws. So go to Louisiana, set up your laser. What is it called, laser?

• 1:00:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's called taser fighting.

• 1:00:40Speaker 03

  Taser fighting. Do it, dude. You could be the Dana White of that.

• 1:00:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  I would love to be the Dana White of taser boxing.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:00:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Look, free for all. Go ahead. Now watch these animals go. This is amazing.

• 1:01:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is so fascinating.

• 1:01:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  I forgot, I forgot who pointed it out last time that it's not so wise that they're doing this in water.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, that's not good.

• 1:01:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, but imagine someone.

• 1:01:14Speaker 03

  We're gonna electrocute. It's almost like they picked that place.

• 1:01:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, because of that. Now, see, that's what I gotta do too, when I open.

• 1:01:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, you gotta be like, where's a body of water that someone could get electrocuted in just to raise the stakes?

• 1:01:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, somebody dies.

• 1:01:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's an extra.

• 1:01:28Speaker 03

  Somebody dies, you got some legal problems, but your next views will be fucking huge. Everyone will show up to watch somebody, a bunch of fucking nerds.

• 1:01:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, I gotta say, I'm shocked that taser boxing is new. Like, don't you think they should have come out in the 90s? I feel like our generation should have.

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, because the internet wasn't, I mean, I'm sure there were people just tasering each other and nobody was watching. They just did it for the love of the game.

• 1:01:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  There's Jackass, yeah.

• 1:01:57Speaker 04

  You go to bed with that person, you're not just going to bed with that person, you're going to bed with every other person that person has ever gone to bed with.

• 1:02:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Remember that?

• 1:02:04Speaker 04

  Before in their life. So just picture it's as if you're all crawling into one bed together.

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  A lot of people. You're gonna have sex before I get married.

• 1:02:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 1:02:13Speaker 04

  Well, I guess you just have to be prepared to die.

• 1:02:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  That, that was our, our childhood, right? Remember? Fucking AIDS. You wanna die? This bitch ruined all my college years, all my fucking high school. I could have been the biggest whore. And I wasn't because I was afraid of catching AIDS.

• 1:02:30Speaker 03

  Yes, that was so funny.

• 1:02:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  God, dude.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  When they convince white, uh, uh, straight people they could get AIDS, that was so funny.

• 1:02:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, give me a break, please.

• 1:02:40Speaker 03

  That is hilarious.

• 1:02:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Oh, this is prison fried burritos.

• 1:02:44Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 1:02:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Prisoners show us how they cook stuff. I mean, that's ingenious.

• 1:02:51Speaker 03

  I mean, humans will find a way. That's what I've learned about prisons.

• 1:02:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  To fucking to eat.

• 1:02:55Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, you'll be in an all male prison and still find a woman. That's like the, the ability to do that when there are no women to find a woman. Just like, like you're bitching about your life. Try going to jail and find a fucking woman. If they can do it, you can do it.

• 1:03:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  But how do these fools, so look, they created a, a deep frying grease, a deep frying whatever pan out of what, cardboard box? And then they put two little zappers in there for the electricity. I mean, this is ingenious.

• 1:03:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean.

• 1:03:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Imagine devoting this much mental energy.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  The question is, how many people died developing this technology?

• 1:03:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's the real question.

• 1:03:32Speaker 03

  Right?

• 1:03:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's the real question.

• 1:03:34Speaker 03

  Dude was so close, died. The guy's like, oh, if you just turned it here, oh, it works, you know? Right? How many people have to die for a prison burrito to happen?

• 1:03:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  But I, I bet that fucking burrito's.

• 1:03:45Speaker 03

  I bet you it's fire, dude.

• 1:03:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Good, yeah, dude.

• 1:03:47Speaker 03

  The only guy that doesn't have to worry about getting S A'd in prison is the prison burrito guy. I think I'm gonna take that. Hey, dude, he makes a burrito.

• 1:04:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, I would give any, I'm gonna see what's inside of that fucking delicious.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  Guys, when I get out in 25 years, I'm gonna have my own burrito truck.

• 1:04:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hell, yeah, he is, dude.

• 1:04:08Speaker 03

  Making prison burritos.

• 1:04:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck, yeah, he is. Damn.

• 1:04:13Tom Segura?

  Send this to your bully. Stop bullying. Like, actually, if you keep bullying, keep bullying this person, you're gonna have a mean wife to deal with.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  Oh, man.

• 1:04:23Tom Segura?

  It's not cool. Not cool to bully people, dude.

• 1:04:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Whoa.

• 1:04:27Speaker 03

  This weebalwobble's gonna show up.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  And all you have to do is run five feet and he can't catch it.

• 1:04:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, and also, are they gonna buy plane tickets to come and, you know what I'm saying? Like, I gotta.

• 1:04:40Speaker 03

  Show up.

• 1:04:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Show up, douchebag. You really gonna do this for these kids?

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  We need to bring back bullying.

• 1:04:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  God, yeah, come on.

• 1:04:48Speaker 03

  A little bit, a little bit, yeah.

• 1:04:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is nonsense, but here we go. All right, guys, I got burned. I got burned really bad. Turns out that family dinner night. Yeah. Was actually a setup. Oh. After the dinner was over, the non-family members left, and I was getting ready to leave too, and I was asked to stay back. And I had no idea, but my sister, my niece, and other family members, they've all seen my TikToks, so. I thought I'd, I'd been a secret. I didn't let any family members know that I have TikTok. Yeah, well, the world knows. My TikToks, and they're very concerned. Yeah. My sister wants to go with me to the doctor tomorrow because I do have an appointment tomorrow. And they're, uh. This guy. They're riding me pretty hard.

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  Is it your dead buddy shirt you got on?

• 1:05:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, yeah. To kind of breathe. What brand is this that he's wearing?

• 1:05:33Speaker 03

  What is the dead buddy brand?

• 1:05:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't know. So he went on and he was, he had like a full breakdown on TikTok and was like, my girlfriend left me, Jenny, or whatever. Do you guys remember what his girlfriend was? And he, he had like a meltdown because his girlfriend left him. And he didn't realize that TikTok was like worldwide.

• 1:05:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  So the family. Take a break, but, uh. The family's upset with him right now. Currently having a, an intervention. They're intervening. I'm listening to him. I'm not, I'm not fighting against anybody. No, don't fight them. You know. Yeah.

• 1:06:08Speaker 03

  I mean, with that hair, you're always in the game.

• 1:06:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  It was like a trap that was sprung on me. I don't like that.

• 1:06:11Speaker 03

  I mean, you could be mentally shish kebab. If you had that hair.

• 1:06:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, he's amazing.

• 1:06:16Speaker 03

  You're still in the game.

• 1:06:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's amazing.

• 1:06:17Speaker 03

  He's lost no hair.

• 1:06:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  None. And it's beautiful and it, I love the wave. No, he's, he's got.

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  Just go to the old home, dude. You'll be cracking.

• 1:06:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck, dude. This is so funny. All right, one last one. Uh-oh, what's this one? Oh, you're good. Well, just pulled up, but we'd take, hurry up, don't catch the races, ladies day today. I'm just going for me, I don't for a. Plotted, so we're going to see our Ryan. So keep watching peeps. It's gonna be a good day. What the fuck is she even saying?

• 1:06:49Speaker 03

  It took me thirty seconds, even though she had an accent with the robot voice she has. I didn't even know it was a Scottish robot voice.

• 1:07:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know, same. I was like, damn, she smokes.

• 1:07:02Speaker 03

  Bro, just drill the hole. Just drill the hole. It's time.

• 1:07:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's try to hear if we can understand what she's talking about. Well, just pulled up. We're going to carry on Doncaster Race's Ladies' Day today. Doncaster Race. Was going for me hair done for a plotted. So we're going to see our Ryan. So keep watching peeps. Fuck. It's gonna be a good day. That was gnarly, dude.

• 1:07:24Speaker 03

  She went to something day. She saw somebody.

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  Something good happened and it's gonna be a good day. That's all I got from that.

• 1:07:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I have to say, for someone that smoked as much as she has, her skin looks pretty damn good.

• 1:07:38Speaker 03

  I mean, that, that's, that almost, she has so much makeup on.

• 1:07:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:43Speaker 03

  It's almost a mask at this point. Like one of those CIA masks you put over your face.

• 1:07:50Speaker 03

  Doesn't he look, it looks like something's behind the mask.

• 1:07:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, yeah. Fuck, dude. That's not, I gotta quit smoking. I took it up again and I'm out. I'm done.

• 1:08:01Speaker 03

  Oh, I, I'm doing too much nicotine, dude.

• 1:08:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  What are you doing? The zins?

• 1:08:06Speaker 03

  Zins.

• 1:08:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:07Speaker 03

  Lucy's. I just love it.

• 1:08:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:10Speaker 03

  Gives me coke blowouts.

• 1:08:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's, that's a dude thing. I don't know a single woman that's into this.

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's very weird because it's, it's, I love it.

• 1:08:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:18Speaker 03

  But you need your nicotine.

• 1:08:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  You need your, I need, I need.

• 1:08:20Speaker 03

  Nicotine's actually, I, I don't want to get too deep into conspiracies, but nicotine's very good to help keep you from getting sick.

• 1:08:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I believe that.

• 1:08:30Speaker 03

  Yep. And well, I could go deep off.

• 1:08:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  But let's not. Not today.

• 1:08:35Speaker 03

  Lose everybody.

• 1:08:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not today. We, I gotta go. We gotta go. I gotta go. Um, Sam Tripoli, thank you so much for coming to Austin. Um, have fun doing Kill Tony today.

• 1:08:44Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:08:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Thank you. Listen to him on his Tinfoil Hat podcast. See his new special, uh, at Poop Tube? The Poop Tube.

• 1:08:53Speaker 03

  SamTripoli.com or youtube.com slash at Sam Tripoli Comedy.

• 1:08:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's fine.

• 1:08:59Speaker 03

  I think you'll enjoy it.

• 1:09:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think you'll enjoy it. Go see him live. And, uh, yeah, that's it. Okay. I love you. Bye.

• 1:09:14Tom Segura?

  One, two, three. You triple D slut of a wife.

• 1:09:26Tom Segura?

  How come you won't eat that scrum? Don't you like your life? Show him how those big tits fart. If you want into his heart. Show him how you really care. Remembering to melt that bear. Show him how those big tits fart. I know it can be so scary.

• 1:10:08Tom Segura?

  Your husband is so hot and hairy. Listen up, I'll tell you what. Put a finger, just one, in his butt. Show him how those big tits fart. If you want into his heart. Show him how you really care. Remembering to melt that bear. Show him how those big tits fart.

• 1:10:52Speaker 00

  Welcome to the 50th Hunger Games. Witness the beginning of the revolution.

• 1:10:57Speaker 01

  Hey Mitch, you've been trying to take down these games from Star.

• 1:11:00Speaker 00

  Film for IMAX.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  Make them remember you.

• 1:11:04Speaker 00

  The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping, November 20th, rated PG-13.