Gabby Bernstein: How Your Childhood Shapes Your Mindset, Mental Health and Success | Mental Health | YAPClassic

Gabby Bernstein thought her mental health struggles were behind her after getting sober at 25. She became a bestselling author and successful entrepreneur, but years later, she was still battling anxiety, workaholism, and an overwhelming need for control. Then, a terrifying panic attack forced her to confront unresolved childhood trauma and discover Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, an approach that helps people process past trauma. In this episode, Gabby shares how childhood experiences influence adult behavior, why unhealthy patterns affect mindset and leadership, and her four-step method for managing emotional triggers, setting healthier boundaries, and finding inner peace. In this episode, Hala and Gabby will discuss: (00:00) Introduction (01:58) From NYC Nightlife to Spiritual Leadership (06:07) Breaking the Cycle of Addiction (08:22) Manifesting a Career as an Author (13:29) The Power of IFS Therapy in Self-Healing (20:28) How to Stop Leading From Fear and Control (25:48) Four Steps to Reconnect with Your Inner Self (35:20) Understanding Your Protective Behaviors (36:51) How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt (38:52) Healing a Perfectionist Mindset Gabby Bernstein is a prominent spiritual teacher, motivational speaker, podcast host, and #1 New York Times bestselling author. Hailed by Oprah Winfrey as a "next-generation thought leader," she has sold over 7 million books worldwide. Her teachings blend practical spirituality, manifestation techniques, and trauma recovery with mental health approaches such as IFS therapy. Sponsored By: Indeed - Get a $75 sponsored job credit to boost your job's visibility at Indeed.com/profiting Shopify - Start your $1/month trial at Shopify.com/profiting. Northwest Registered Agent - Get a complete business identity with Northwest. Visit northwestregisteredagent.com/YAPFree and start using free resources to build something amazing. HeyGen - Create AI avatar videos without constantly being behind the camera. Get your first three videos free at HeyGen.com/profiting. Life at the Speed of Play - Learn how to test ideas quickly and identify the ones worth pursuing with Mark Pincus’s book. Get two books for the price of one at getmarksbook.com/yap. Whatnot - Grow your business through live shopping, community, and real-time connections with buyers. Search Whatnot, W H A T N O T, in the App Store and start selling today. MOD - Connect with licensed medical providers for modafinil to support sustained energy, focus, and alertness. Visit MOD.com for a free consultation and get 10% off your first order plus free shipping with code PROFITING. See the website for important safety information. AG1 Next Gen - Support your nutritional foundation with vitamins, minerals, prebiotics, probiotics, and superfoods. Get a free Immune Support Bundle with your first subscription order at DrinkAG1.com/PROFITING. Resources Mentioned: Gabby’s Book, Self-Help: bit.ly/SelfHelp-GB Gabby's Podcast, Dear Gabby: gabbybernstein.com Active Deals - youngandprofiting.com/deals Key YAP Links Reviews - ratethispodcast.com/yap YouTube - youtube.com/c/YoungandProfiting Newsletter - youngandprofiting.co/newsletter LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/htaha Instagram - instagram.com/yapwithhala Social + Podcast Services: yapmedia.com Transcripts - youngandprofiting.com/episodes-new LinkedIn Creator Club - Skool.com/linkedin-creator-club Entrepreneurship, Entrepreneurship Podcast, Business, Business Podcast, Self Improvement, Self-Improvement, Personal Development, Starting a Business, Strategy, Investing, Sales, Selling, Psychology, Productivity, Entrepreneurs, AI, Artificial Intelligence, Technology, Marketing, Negotiation, Money, Finance, Side Hustle, Startup, Mental Health, Career, Leadership, Mindset, Health, Growth Mindset, Wellness, Biohacking, Motivation, Brain Health, Life Balance, Positivity, Happiness, Sleep, Diet

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Hala Taha?

  Today's episode is sponsored in part by HeyGen, Shopify, Indeed, and Northwest Registered Agent. HeyGen helps you create AI avatar videos without being constantly behind the camera. Get your first three videos for free at heygen.com/profting. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you grow your business. Start your $1 per month trial at Shopify.com/profting. Indeed helps you attract interview and hire all in one place. Get a $75 sponsored job credit to boost your job's visibility at Indeed.com/podcast. Northwest Registered Agent gives you the tools and guidance to build a complete business identity. Start using free resources at NorthwestRegisteredAgent.com/yeapfree.

• 0:45Hala Taha?

  As always, you can find all of our incredible deals in the show notes or at YoungandProfiting.com/deals. You were really spiritual even since a really young age. But then in your twenties, you kind of moved away from your spirituality.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  Being a young entrepreneur, I started my first company when I was 20. That became my new god. I think the first decade of my career, maybe I had five or six books at that point. Interviewed on Oprah, next generation thought leader. It was like sort of benchmarks that I was just going towards. And by the time I was 25, I had a serious cocaine addiction. I can't remember things. I'm not nice to people anymore. I can't go a day without using cocaine. I remember having an intern, she'd been working for me for a year and I did not remember her name. That was how bad my brain had fried from the drugs and partying. I recognized that I couldn't go on like that. And I said a prayer. In that moment, I heard this inner voice say to me, around 35, I hit a huge bottom.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  Then I had a panic attack. My whole left side of my body went numb. It wasn't until about three months after that, that I had a dream. And in that dream, I remembered.

• 1:53Hala Taha?

  What's up, yap fam? If you've ever felt completely burnt out, overwhelmed, or trapped in an endless cycle of control, today's episode is going to be your ultimate reset. In this yap classic, we're revisiting my insightful conversation with Gabby Bernstein, bestselling author, spiritual leader, and host of the popular Dear Gabby podcast. Gabby gets real about her own journey from a high functioning addiction and workaholism to finding deeper internal alignment and learning how to lead from within. She also breaks down how suppressed trauma and protection mechanisms can hold back entrepreneurs. And she shares the four step check-in framework from her book, Self Help. So yap gang, if you're ready to break these patterns and create more space for clarity, calm, and confidence,

• 2:39Hala Taha?

  let's get right into my conversation with Gabby Bernstein. I am so excited for this conversation. I feel like I've been waiting for you to come on the podcast for like years now. And finally, here you are. So thank you for joining us.

• 2:52Speaker 01

  I have arrived.

• 2:55Hala Taha?

  So when I was researching about you, I found out that you were really spiritual even since a really young age. You learned how to meditate from your mother. And these days, everybody knows you as this big like spiritual guru leader. But then in your twenties, you got into the nightlife in New York City and you started a PR firm. And you kind of moved away from your spirituality. So I want to ask you, why do you think you ended up moving away from it in your twenties? And how did you ultimately get back to it?

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Well, I definitely know that having a spiritual foundation as a child was really crucial for me in my life, as the through line of my life. And my mom brought me up visiting ashrams and I was named by the gurus. And it was just a very natural thing for me to meditate, to talk about spirituality, to have an open dialogue about what that meant, because it was in my home. But by the time I was in my twenties, I was really looking for my self-worth in all the wrong places. Being a young entrepreneur, I started my first company when I was 20. And I was representing nightclubs as a publicist. And that became my new god, really. It was like, let me get past the velvet ropes.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Say Gabby at the door. It was, it was all about how much I could push and how hard I could go to get to the levels of success that I was seeking. And really what I was looking for was that feeling of that spiritual connection, but looking for it in all the wrong places. So looking for a feeling of self-worth, looking for a feeling of connection inside, looking for genuine, genuine value, but in an external world. I'm sure you've had this conversation with many entrepreneurs of, of when they're, when they're searching, searching, searching and doing a lot of muscling and forcing, it often leads to not only burnout, but in my case, addiction.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  And so that outside search became so extreme that now it wasn't just about workaholism or trying to be seen or trying to force myself into the, the best, the best rooms or the best locations. But it started to turn into using drugs and alcohol to start to kind of numb that void inside. By the time I was 25, I had a serious cocaine addiction and was my own boss, right? So I'd been, been running my PR business for five years and I had a business partner. But I was the one bringing in all the business, so like I kind of ran the, ran the shots, right? I could be like, I'm showing up at noon and who gives a shit, right? I'm here when I want to be here. And I remember being at my desk and having an intern.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  And I didn't remember, she'd been working for me for a year and I did not remember her name. Like that was how bad my brain had fried from the drugs and from the partying. And then I just started getting to a very dark place of just being mean and just, and just, and just, even though my external circumstances were still functioning, right? It was like a very high functioning addiction where I was still making money. I was still having success, but my successes were in this really dark place of, of, of the nightlife scene. By the grace of God, I got, I got myself sober. So October 20, October 2nd of 2005, I recognized that I couldn't go on like that. And I said a prayer and I just to return to my spiritual roots.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  And I said, God, universe, whoever is out there, I need a miracle. And in that moment, I heard this inner voice say to me, you can get clean and live a life beyond your wildest dreams. That was the day I got clean. It's been almost 20 years now. And in that 20 years, I've, I've just, just gone headfirst into what it means to live a spiritual life and live a life of faith and trust that there is a presence of energetic support within us and around us. And use the power of, of, of spiritual principles as a guiding force in my career and in my life.

• 6:51Hala Taha?

  I just spoke to Rachel Hollis a couple of days ago and she's got this new book. And she talks about this never again principle. And basically it's like a line in the sand moment where you tell yourself, never again, I'm going to break this pattern. And it's a promise to yourself and, and it's, it's a way to self, strengthen your, your self-integrity so that you never do the thing that you decided, like this is the day I'm never doing this again. So it reminded me of that. And I'm just curious, like, I'm sure you wanted to quit drugs before that moment. So why do you think that was your line in the sand, never again moment?

• 7:28Speaker 01

  I remember having this psychic reading about five months before I got sober. And the psychic said to me, you're struggling with drugs and alcohol. And I was like, it's not that bad.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  And then she said, well, you're going to have two choices in this lifetime. You can, you can stay on the path that you're on and we all really struggle. Or you can get sober and make a major impact on the world. And I, I had this cassette tape recording, I kid you not, I'm 45 now. So we're really dating 20 years back. I had a cassette tape in my white beat up Toyota Corolla. And I would put that cassette tape into the, you know, when I'd be like hungover, doing alternate side of the street parking in New York City. And I would just press rewind and play and rewind and play, just listening to her say that, you can get clean and make a major impact on the world. And I heard those words and I think in my heart, I knew that to be true. And I, because I had that spiritual foundation as a child, I knew there was more.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  And even in the midst of my addiction, I had these stacks of self-help books next to my bed. And I had big dreams and visions of, of a career, but really a, a mission, a mission. And I think that that knowing is what allowed me to decide that that was my last moment. That was my last day. I also had hit my bottom. I'd hit enough of a bottom for myself. Thankfully, I wasn't in jail. Thankfully, I wasn't near death. I mean, who knows, you could have, could have gotten there. But at this stage in my life, I was at my bottom. And my bottom was, I can't remember things. My bottom was, I'm not nice to people anymore. My bottom was, I can't, I can't go a day without using cocaine. And that was enough of a bottom for me to make that decision.

• 9:11Hala Taha?

  Your vision of your career, did you think about writing books and speaking? Did you know that that was the path that you wanted to take? Or did that unfold more organically?

• 9:21Speaker 01

  I always knew. I always knew. When I was 14, I was the, the president of the Jewish youth group in my community. And it was the regional youth group. So I'd lead like hundreds of kids through these like spiritual weekends at the temple. And when I was in, in my drug and alcohol addiction, I would have these after hours parties and they'd have these books next to my bed, like, you know, all these spiritual books of Wayne Dyer and Louise Hay. And I would tell the people that I was doing drugs with, I'd be like, I'm going to be a motivational speaker and a self-help book author. And they'd be like, nice fucking try. But I, but I knew that this is what I wanted to do. And, and I, I'd been introduced to all these teachers, like, like Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer,

• 10:02Speaker 01

  my, my predecessors and I, who then became my friends and mentors and publisher. And that was what I knew I was here to do.

• 10:14Hala Taha?

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• 10:57Hala Taha?

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• 11:20Hala Taha?

  What's up Yap gang? So I recently caught a really bad summer cold at the worst possible time. It was right before my interview with Gary Vee. Everything turned out okay, thankfully, but it did remind me how quickly getting sick can throw off your plans, especially when you're running a business. So I've been taking my health routine way more seriously. And one habit that I'm sticking with, it's AG1. It's a daily nutritional drink with 75 plus ingredients, including vitamins, minerals, adaptogens, pre and probiotics, and superfoods, all in one scoop. I just mix it in with cold water every single morning. Plus AG1 Next Gen is backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials with key nutrient levels improving within three months of consistent use. There's also AG1 Pro, designed to support performance and recovery.

• 12:04Hala Taha?

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• 12:33Hala Taha?

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• 13:16Hala Taha?

  the premium status it deserves at indeed.com/podcast. Just go to indeed.com/podcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring now, this is a job for Indeed Sponsored Jobs. You hustled really, really hard from 25 to 35. You wrote five books. You were named by Oprah as like, you know, like one of these like really important people to listen to and all these kinds of things. When you were hustling, what kind of season were you internally? Like, what were you dealing with internally? Were you completely recovered and who you are today? Or what was it like for you?

• 13:57Speaker 01

  No, I was not recovered at all. I think the first decade of my career from 25 to 35, you said it about right, but that point, maybe I had five or six books at that point. I had been interviewed on Oprah, you know, next generation thought leader. It was like the sort of benchmarks that I was just going towards. And a lot of that happened quite effortlessly because I was in the service of the work I was doing. And that all was working, right? So the successes were there because I was in the joy and the light of my work. But all the while, I was having extreme anxiety, extreme workaholism, extreme issues around the belief that if I don't do it, nobody else is going to do it.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  So just, just doing, doing, doing, and trying to control everything and real controller aspects of myself driving my, driving my life. And major gastro issues, just constantly in, in physical pain, you know, couldn't have the inability to be present. And it was up until I was 36 that this was such an extreme problem for me. I remember around 35, when my husband left his job at JP Morgan to come work with me because my career was skyrocketing and I needed, he's a lawyer and he was a banker and I needed that foundation, right? I needed that everyone deserves a Zach if you're an entrepreneur. And so he came to work with me. It was like around the same time that we were family planning and trying to have a child.

• 15:22Speaker 01

  And I just, I hit a huge bottom where I started saying very regularly, I can't go on like this, I can't go on like this, I can't go on like this. And then I had a panic attack in a yoga class where I was doing Kundalini yoga and my, my whole left side of my body went numb. And I thought, you know, I called the doctor, the doctor said, well, this could be MS. Or like, they just started like scaring the shit out of me. And I did all these MRIs, everything was fine. And she said, you're having panic attacks, like you're, you're, you're sending your body into these psychosomatic conditions, right? You're having psychosomatic condition. And it wasn't until about three months after that, that I had a dream. And in that dream, I remembered abuse from my childhood.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  And it was a dissociated memory that I, that I tucked away, that I had shut down. And it made so much sense to me when this, as terrifying as it was to recall this memory and as earth shattering as it was, it was tremendous relief because it was, I could knew now, I said, okay, that's what I'm running from. That's what I've been drinking over. That's what I've been using over. That's what I've been loving over. That's what I've been eating over. That's what I've been, been, been starving over. That's what I've been working over. And recognizing that core wound as the impetus for my addictions and for the reasons that I was running. And that was a turning point in my life.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  It was interesting, my big turning points were 25 and then 36, like these decade moments. And in fact, a decade later now, 45, I'm having another turning point. I think it's these decades, I think it takes me about 10 years to get to the up level. But here I am, you know? And, and so I spent the last decade up until this point, doing extraordinary trauma recovery, just transformational trauma healing, babe. Like the greatest accomplishment of my fucking life is the work I've done on myself. And to get to a place now where I feel so safe inside and I've unburdened the belief that if I don't do it, nobody else will. And I really have the ability to lead with more clarity and lead with more confidence

• 17:34Speaker 01

  and get what, get my needs met by just asking for it and, and just being able to be in this foundational energy where an entrepreneur must be in order to grow and excel, which is just unburdened from the younger parts of myself that were so protective for so long.

• 17:51Hala Taha?

  IFS, something that you talk about a lot now, internal family systems, was a big part of you actually uncovering that memory, is that right?

• 17:59Speaker 01

  Well, actually, yes. It was the therapy that I was doing at that time. And I've been doing it now for about, about a decade, yeah. And it was also what has been probably the greatest therapy in my trauma recovery. It's called internal family systems therapy. Such a great transformation for me that I went on to get the training in it. So I'm, I'm a practitioner in IFS, even though I'm not a therapist. I was one of the last people to get to go through the level one and level two training in this, that wasn't a therapist. So I've got this training. I'm very dear friends with the founder, Dr. Richard Schwartz.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  And in my latest book, my 10th book, Self Help, it is all about how to, it's democratizing and demystifying and, and translating this, this therapy into a self-help practice.

• 18:52Hala Taha?

  Yeah.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  So that folks that may not ever get to this, by the way, if there's ever been the best, I think the best entrepreneurial book is this book. Like, like if you're an entrepreneur and you want to up-level your career.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  Read this book.

• 19:07Hala Taha?

  Yeah, I agree. I found so many tidbits that could help us and I can't wait to kind of unpack all the different things. But first, I want people to get a good foundation of it all because it's a little complicated. There's a lot of things to kind of learn about it. So first of all, when I heard the word, I thought like family members, it had something to do with family members, but it's actually like about your internal parts. So can you talk to us about internal family systems and all the different parts that we have of ourselves that we need to be aware of?

• 19:37Speaker 01

  Yep, and I'm going to teach it to you from the self-help perspective because I'm going to make it easier for people to begin to understand. So we all have a lot of different aspects of ourselves and maybe there's times in your life where you've said like, a part of me feels like if I don't do it, nobody else will. Or if a part of me feels like I have to control, or a part of me gets outraged when my spouse does XYZ, or when I don't get that deal at work, I go into this shame part of myself. We have these different aspects of ourselves that we're aware of. Our workaholic, our, I'm just speaking to the entrepreneur, right? Our achiever, our people pleaser, these are like some of the entrepreneurial parts,

• 20:18Speaker 01

  right? Our controller. And these parts of ourselves are actually very young. They've been around, if you asked yourself, like, okay, do you have any of those parts, Hala?

• 20:26Hala Taha?

  Oh, yeah. Controller, for sure. People pleaser, for sure.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  So how long has your controller been around?

• 20:34Hala Taha?

  Forever. It's also one of the reasons why I'm so successful, I think, but it's something that I need to tame now, that I have such a large team and I need to be the energy leader of our organization.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  I'll help you. We're here today to learn, to befriend that part of us. So in IFS, really what happens is IFS is talking about the inner family of parts of us inside. So it's like we're this multiple little people inside of us, like little children, inner children inside. And why are they there? They're protection mechanisms. These parts of us are protection, your controller, your people pleaser, they're all protection mechanisms, called protector parts. Who are these protectors protecting? Very, very young, exiled parts of ourselves. So for me, it was the little girl who felt like her parents weren't caring for her and she felt totally alone and she felt like, if I don't do it, nobody else is

• 21:26Speaker 01

  going to do it. So at a real young age, she learned that. I've got to be in control to feel safe. If I'm not in control, I will die. Literally, that's like, that was like the inner dialogue. Or the, you know, the people pleaser might be like, well, I have to make sure everybody else is okay so that I'm still loved. You know, these are young moments in time where we experience trauma, big T or small T trauma, could be something extreme like mine with abuse, or it could be something less extreme, like being bullied on the playground, or, you know, in the case of my son, my son is neurodivergent, we just got this diagnosis and he's really struggling with his learning and this is a big moment for him. And if we don't step in as adult figures, which we are, to get him the support and to see him and to hear him. Most kids don't have that, right? Their parents will

• 22:11Speaker 01

  go, good luck with that, or, you know, get over it, or whatever. Then it becomes a part of them that they run from for the rest of their life. And so we've been running, all of us have been running for our lives, protecting ourselves from these impermissible experiences from our childhood. And so the goal of IFS, and particularly self-help, is to befriend these younger parts of ourselves and to help these protection mechanisms feel calmer. And remember I was saying earlier, like, now I can lead my team from a place that's less controlling, from a place that's clear, from a place that's courageous and confident

• 22:48Speaker 01

  and calm. So what I am now is a self-led leader. And this is what's called self in IFS. Self is an energy inside of us. Self is the presence of that calmness in us, the courage that we have, compassion we have, the confidence, the clarity, the C qualities, the creativity. So Hala, when you're like, you know, designing your next podcast and you're just like in it and you're super, and time is flying and you're not thinking and just stuff is super creative, that's self, right? When I'm clear with my team, hey, guys, this is what I

• 23:27Speaker 01

  need and I would love for you to help me get there. That's self. When I'm controlling, you know, for many years, I ran my business like my 10-year-old part, right? Little girl. It was like, I remember my therapist being like, don't you think it would be helpful if you didn't run your business like your 10-year-old? And I was like, mhm, yes, yes, I do. So what I want people to understand is that these parts around the show, particularly in entrepreneurs and folks that are running a business, because you've got pressure, you've got a lot of triggers throughout the day, you've got a lot of people that rely on you, you've got people that you have to deal with. Like entrepreneurship is very people-y, okay? Unless you're just like, you know, doing some code in the corner and you're

• 24:12Speaker 01

  not going to, you know, grow a team, but that's not, you're just working with robots, but we're not there exactly yet, right? People need people. And that can create a lot of triggers. And so our work as entrepreneurs often is a breeding ground for our protection mechanisms to get really out of control. And there's probably times at work when people are like, I don't know what came over me, or, you know, a lot of my entrepreneurial friends, they all have the similar quality of the control, right? Or the workaholism, or the drive. And to your point, these parts of us have very valuable roles, right? My controller wrote 10 books in 14 years and has served a lot of souls. But she also, for most of those years, did it at her own expense, right?

• 24:58Hala Taha?

  Yes.

• 24:58Speaker 01

  Did it without joy, did it with glimmers of joy, but not freedom, no ease, no calm, no courage, no connection, just a lot of like, just running, running, running. And the beautiful thing is if we really want success in our career, we have to tend to the parts of ourselves that are still in those child protection modes.

• 25:22Hala Taha?

  What's up, yap gang? So I recently caught a really bad summer cold at the worst possible time. It was right before my interview with Gary Vee. Everything turned out okay, thankfully, but it did remind me how quickly getting sick can throw off your plans, especially when you're running a business. So I've been taking my health routine way more seriously. And one habit that I'm sticking with, it's AG1. It's a daily nutritional drink with 75 plus ingredients, including vitamins, minerals, adaptogens, pre and probiotics, and superfoods, all in one scoop. I just mix it in with cold water every single morning. Plus, AG1 Next Gen is backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials with key nutrient levels improving within three months of consistent use. There's also AG1 Pro, designed to support

• 26:04Hala Taha?

  performance and recovery. It includes five grams of creatine for muscle strength, C, A, H, and B for muscle protection, and zinc, carnecine for gut health. I can't control when a cold hits, but I can keep my morning routine consistent. For a limited time, visit drinkag1.com/profitting and get a free immune support bundle, including omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D3 K2 with your first subscription of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/profitting.

• 26:35Hala Taha?

  Yap, bam. I've interviewed some of the world's leading health experts and those conversations have really changed how I think about my health. I stay active and I eat well, but you know what I realized? There's still so much I don't know about what's actually going on inside my body. And I've been hearing so much about body scans lately, so I finally did it. I got my whole body MRI at Prenuvo. The scan is radiation-free, which I love. There's no needles and it takes just about an hour. Prenuvo evaluates major organs and systems, including your brain, spine, abdomen, pelvis, and more. And they give you a full, detailed picture of your health. I just got my results back and nothing serious, thankfully, just a little scoliosis. I'm looking forward to reviewing my results with my Prenuvo provider, where I can ask questions and better understand all my results and what's going on in my

• 27:20Hala Taha?

  body. So I'm really curious about that and I'll keep you guys posted. To learn more about Prenuvo and get $300 off your whole body MRI, go to prenuvo.com/hala and use code HALA. That's prenuvo, P-R-E-N-U-V-O.com/hala, H-A-L-A. Terms and conditions apply. Receive $300 off Prenuvo whole body scans and executive and comprehensive memberships through January 31st. For full details, visit Prenuvo's website to read their terms and conditions and privacy notice. Prenuvo gifted me a whole body scan. A Prenuvo scan is a screening service, not diagnostic. Diagnosis and treatment are determined by your healthcare provider.

• 27:59Hala Taha?

  Yap fam, these days it feels like I'm starting a new LLC every month. In fact, I recently bought a commercial property that has tenants and I wanted to keep that venture separate from Yap Media and my personal assets, which means another LLC. So of course I turned to Northwest Registered Agent. That is my go-to for business formation and registered agent services. I can get an LLC application started online in less than 10 minutes and their filings have been super quick. Northwest also helps you build your complete business identity. They give you a business address, operating agreement, website, professional email, phone number, and built-in privacy. And when I missed a step, a real person from Northwest actually texted me to help. Starting another business should feel exciting and not like another full-time job.

• 28:42Hala Taha?

  And Northwest has a lot of free resources that you can leverage for starting your business. Don't pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for what you can get for free from Northwest. Visit northwestregisteredagent.com/yapfree and start using free resources to build something amazing. Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at northwestregisteredagent.com/yapfree. I know a lot of successful people and I can picture them in my head, like who really has this under control and is connected to self, just on my interactions with them and like how they present themselves and how everything just seems to manifest for them and is easy and they're always joyful, whereas there's other folks that I know that are still

• 29:22Hala Taha?

  in this controller mode and seem like they're controlled by all their little traumas from when they were children.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's nice too to have friends, entrepreneurial friends that you can track with, right? So like two of my really dear friends are my brothers Jay Shetty and Lewis Howes. And Lewis in particular, you know, I would talk with them for years because they've seen me in these sort of iterations of being in my parts. And I remember like 15 years ago or something, 12 years ago, I was with Lewis and his partner, Matt, and I was like, you guys, I'm like freaking out, like I just can't build a team and I'm just like, you know, losing my shit and I just don't know what to do. And then like, you know, a decade later, we were at Lewis's wedding in Mexico and he's just like, girl, you're chill right now. Like you're still right now. You're, you're, you're in such a good presence and remember when, you know, remember when?

• 30:11Speaker 01

  And so it's really nice to revisit our younger selves when we've done this work and to be able to be like, oh, the work works.

• 30:19Hala Taha?

  Yeah.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  I am a living testament to it. I actually, Hala, you know, I've had some successes in my career, but I don't even think I've even scratched the surface.

• 30:27Hala Taha?

  Do you think that this is gonna help accelerate you? Like, how is doing this kind of work gonna help manifest more for you?

• 30:36Speaker 01

  It already is. It already is. So being a more self-led leader rather than a leading from a child place and having befriended these younger parts of myself, which I'll teach people how to do today, and really making it my biggest commitment, my highest, my number one job. I am now much more trusting, much more clear. Let's start with clarity, okay? So the clarity is something that I really lacked when I was in that controller part, right? Because the controller is like, do more, do more, do more, get this done, da-da-da-da. And the clarity was, the clarity's emerged so greatly that I can, I was able to step back and say, whoa, my energy is being focused in the wrong place.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  Or my, you know, I have to tweak the team so that I get the support that I need. Unburdening the part of myself that believed if I don't do it, nobody else will, has now put me into a place where I have so much confidence saying, you gotta do the work, guys, you know? Like, like this is what I need, here's the clarity, and here's the courage and the confidence to say, I need it. And if you can't do it, I love you, God bless you, but this ain't gonna work, right? And so that's a different energy. The clarity also is helping a lot with deciding what to do and what not to do. Because I think that one of the things that held me back so much was trying to do so much.

• 32:01Hala Taha?

  Yeah.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  And in now, you know, just a few weeks ago, I called my team, I said, oh, that thing, that, that, that, that, that book course that we're gonna do in, in, in, in May, we're not doing that. Like, scratch it, you know, done, take it off the table, you know? Let's focus on Australia, let's focus on our app, and let's focus on this one or two things, not that. That was, that was life-changing for me. Calmness is everything, right? So I can show up to my team calls and I can be much more calm because I'm not in that hypervigilant state of trying to force things to happen around me. And then I think that, I think that the clarity also begets more clarity, self begets more self.

• 32:45Speaker 01

  So me being in self, as the leader, as an entrepreneur, we're the, we're sort of the mothership energy, right? Mothership, I mean, that's a bad word because it's male, female, whatever, but we're like, we're like the, everyone's kind of co-regulating with us.

• 32:58Hala Taha?

  Yes.

• 32:59Speaker 01

  And so if we're showing up without clarity, without confidence, with, with a lot of, you know, a lot of like, just, just, just lacking in that, that creative force and lacking with the direction and just feeling all over the place, we're gonna create more of that. We're gonna manifest more of that in our team. Not calm, right? If we start to feel calm inside, we start to believe and know we're taking, we're truly taken care of, that we can, we can ask for what we need, we can have the courage to speak up, we can have the confidence to, to lead in the ways that we know we should, the clarity to make the right choices, the team starts to open up to their self-energy. Self begets more self. And so they feel more calm. They are more clear.

• 33:43Speaker 01

  They can stick to the plan, right? I also put my big girl pants on, right? I was like, I realized I was the one I've been waiting for.

• 33:51Hala Taha?

  Hmm.

• 33:52Speaker 01

  I kept being like, you know, maybe my, my CEO husband's gonna step up. It's like, no, no, my CEO energy's gotta step up, right? Or like, maybe my chief of staff is gonna fix all this. No, I'm the one to fix this, right? And so what did I do? You know, we use OKRs at our company. I went in, I went, I went hard into the OKRs. I was like, the, the, the tagline of OKRs is like, if your team isn't sick of talking about OKRs, then you haven't really even begun talking about OKRs. So they just, they hate it. I'm like, every week, I'm like, let's go back to the annual OKRs, let's go back to the quarterly OKRs. Like, are we on track? Are we, does everybody memorize the OKRs? Do we know what our goals are? Do we know what our key results are? Are we tracking people? And realizing that I was the one I've been waiting for allowed me to become my own internal parent, right?

• 34:36Speaker 01

  My own internal CEO, step up, do, do the great things that I need to do. And then as a result, do so much less, Hala.

• 34:42Hala Taha?

  Hmm.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  Because now I'm getting my needs met. People are able to do the work because I've asked them to.

• 34:48Hala Taha?

  Yeah.

• 34:49Speaker 01

  Because I've created the plan. Because I'm not, you know, just pissed off that no one's reading my mind.

• 34:54Hala Taha?

  I love that. I mean, you're speaking directly to me. I'm like, I really need to take heed to all of this. And, because when you're running a big company, it can get easy to kind of just point fingers and be like, do this, do that, do this. And especially as things get bigger and bigger and you're not on the ground as much as you used to, it's easy to kind of just feel like directing everybody from afar instead of just being super clear on the plan. And you were just referring, just so everybody is clear, you were referring to the eight essential qualities known as the eight Cs that self has.

• 35:25Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 35:26Hala Taha?

  Right? So that's curiosity, calmness, connectedness, clarity, compassion, creativity, courage, and confidence.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  And let me define what self, and that's why the book is called Self Help. Because when you start to turn inward, you start to tend and give curiosity and compassion and connection through my four-step practice. You give this, this, this curious inquiry, which we can do together, towards these younger parts. And as you start to offer them that, that connection, self, the energy of self, that inner teacher, that internal parent, it starts to emerge naturally.

• 35:58Hala Taha?

  Hmm.

• 35:59Speaker 01

  Okay? So what happens is, I'm not gonna even talk too much about it because you're gonna experience, I wanna do it with you.

• 36:05Hala Taha?

  Okay.

• 36:06Speaker 01

  But self, there's a beautiful quote in the book that's from an IFS practitioner called Stephen Krantz, and he says that self is like the sun behind the clouds. And when the clouds begin to dissipate, the self-energy of the sun can emerge naturally. So it's already here. The adult, resource, undamaged self, the part of us, the essence of who we are, the God within us, the love within us, the creativity, the spirit, the confidence, the courage, it's here. You've just built up these protection mechanisms that we've, that have been masking it like the clouds.

• 36:38Hala Taha?

  Hmm.

• 36:39Speaker 01

  And so this is about calming and connecting and compassionately connecting to these protection mechanisms so that self can emerge naturally.

• 36:48Hala Taha?

  Okay. So let's do this exercise.

• 36:51Speaker 01

  Wait, let's do it. What part would you like to work with? You mentioned too already the controller. You mentioned the people pleaser.

• 36:58Hala Taha?

  Let's do controller, because I feel like that is probably the most one that I have.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  And all female entrepreneurs that I am friends with, most, we all have such a similar through line. And I just, you know, I just, I just know this part so intimately, so I'm excited to help her. Okay? Or I don't wanna gender the part. Sometimes they don't have a gender, you know, sort of like an energy or something. So, but we're gonna do it with Hala, and then if you're listening, you can kind of follow along or you can come back and do it on your own with the book. But here we are. So the first step, Hala, is to choose to check in with the part. And the thing that happens often is when the controller is activated, let's say somebody didn't do something at work, what activates the controller in your life?

• 37:43Hala Taha?

  Somebody did something wrong, like didn't, didn't do what they were supposed to do or missed something or already said it three times and...

• 37:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. Okay. Somebody does something wrong, the controller gets activated. What happens is often you might, we, I'll just speak for myself, become blended with the controller and then we double down on the control. We check out, right? We literally like check out. And so the point of the first step is instead of checking out with the controller, we choose to check in.

• 38:07Hala Taha?

  Hmm.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  Okay? So knowing that there is a beat that we can take, just a little pattern interrupt, and that's the first step. Choose to turn your attention inward. That's number one. We've already done that because you said I wanna check in with the controller. Okay?

• 38:19Hala Taha?

  Okay.

• 38:22Hala Taha?

  What's up, Yap Gang? So I recently caught a really bad summer cold at the worst possible time. It was right before my interview with Gary Vee. Everything turned out okay, thankfully, but it did remind me how quickly getting sick can throw off your plans, especially when you're running a business. So I've been taking my health routine way more seriously. And one habit that I'm sticking with, it's AG1. It's a daily nutritional drink with 75 plus ingredients, including vitamins, minerals, adaptogens, pre and probiotics, and superfoods, all in one scoop. I just mix it in with cold water every single morning. Plus, AG1 Next Gen is backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials with key nutrient levels improving within three months of consistent use. There's also AG1 Pro, designed to support performance and recovery.

• 39:06Hala Taha?

  It includes five grams of creatine for muscle strength, CAH and B for muscle protection, and zinc carnecine for gut health. I can't control when a cold hits, but I can keep my morning routine consistent. For a limited time, visit drinkag1.com/proffiting and get a free immune support bundle, including omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D3 K2 with your first subscription of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/proffiting.

• 39:35Hala Taha?

  Yap, bam. These days, it feels like I'm starting a new LLC every month. In fact, I recently bought a commercial property that has tenants, and I wanted to keep that venture separate from Yap Media and my personal assets, which means another LLC. So of course, I turned to Northwest Registered Agent. That is my go-to for business formation and registered agent services. I can get an LLC application started online in less than 10 minutes, and their filings have been super quick. Northwest also helps you build your complete business identity. They give you a business address, operating agreement, website, professional email, phone number, and built-in privacy. And when I missed a step, a real person from Northwest actually texted me to help. Starting another business should feel exciting and not like another full-time job.

• 40:18Hala Taha?

  And Northwest has a lot of free resources that you can leverage for starting your business. Don't pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for what you can get for free from Northwest. Visit northwestregisteredagent.com/yapfree and start using free resources to build something amazing. Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at northwestregisteredagent.com/yapfree.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  Step two is curiosity. So I'm just going to ask you, you can keep your eyes open, closed, whatever feels good for you. And just for a few moments, just notice where that controller energy lives inside of you. Where does it live in your body?

• 40:51Hala Taha?

  My stomach.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Okay. Is there any shape or color attached to it?

• 41:00Hala Taha?

  Probably red, I guess.

• 41:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:04Speaker 01

  And if there's any images or thoughts or sensations connected to it, you can just ask it some curiosity questions. What else do you want me to know?

• 41:15Hala Taha?

  I don't know. I think it's, I think it's a result of, I don't know if you're asking this, but I feel like it's probably because I just always have to work so hard for everything.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  Okay, so it's saying, I feel like I have to work so hard for everything. Thank you, okay. And how long has that part been around?

• 41:31Hala Taha?

  Forever.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Do you feel you have a little connection to it right now?

• 41:36Hala Taha?

  Yes.

• 41:37Speaker 01

  Are there any images that come to mind when you think about this part? When you tap into it?

• 41:42Hala Taha?

  Maybe just long nights or rejection, things like that.

• 41:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, yeah. Anything else that it wants us to know right now? Any more connection that we can make?

• 41:55Hala Taha?

  I don't know. I feel like sad.

• 41:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, that's true.

• 41:59Hala Taha?

  Probably just working really hard, I don't know, just for a long time.

• 42:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, this part's been working really hard for a long, long time. Yeah, I understand.

• 42:09Speaker 01

  Can you connect a little closer to that part right now in this third step and compassionately connect? And just, now you have such nice access to it, can you ask that part, what does it need? What does it need right now?

• 42:23Hala Taha?

  Better support from the team.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Anything else?

• 42:30Hala Taha?

  More organization, maybe?

• 42:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 42:33Hala Taha?

  A vacation?

• 42:35Speaker 01

  Support, a vacation, a break, yeah?

• 42:38Hala Taha?

  Yeah.

• 42:39Speaker 01

  Okay, can you put your hand on your belly where you feel it and just give it some breath right now? So take a really deep belly breath in, Hala, and just extend your diaphragm.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  And then just let it go. And just connecting to this part, just let it know that I see it and that you see it, right? That we're with it right now. Also, that I really, really can have a lot of compassion and understanding because I've been there too. I understand that part a lot, okay?

• 43:07Speaker 01

  And now with another deep breath, take one more deep breath.

• 43:14Speaker 01

  How do you feel right now?

• 43:16Hala Taha?

  Good. Not sad anymore.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  Okay. How does that part feel inside of you?

• 43:21Hala Taha?

  Good.

• 43:24Hala Taha?

  More, more, more resolved, I guess, just.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  More calm?

• 43:29Hala Taha?

  More calm, yeah.

• 43:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. A little clarity about it?

• 43:32Hala Taha?

  Yeah.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:34Hala Taha?

  Yeah.

• 43:34Speaker 01

  Are you a little bit more curious about it, maybe? Like, would you like to get to know more about it?

• 43:37Hala Taha?

  Yeah.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  Okay. Do you have a compassion for it? Sounds like you did when you got sad a little bit.

• 43:44Hala Taha?

  Yeah, definitely.

• 43:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, some compassion to it. And maybe some confidence to get to know it a little bit more, yeah?

• 43:53Hala Taha?

  Mm-hmm, for sure.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  And you felt a lot of connection to it. I mean, I saw it in your whole physical body.

• 43:59Hala Taha?

  Oh, 100%.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. A lot of self-energy here, Hala. So in those four steps, instead of checking out and going and overriding yourself and just going into control, control, control, we checked in. We gave the part, which is a little girl inside of you, or a little, little part, little person inside, girl, I don't know if it's gender or no gender, whatever, but it's a little part of you inside, and we gave it compassion, curiosity, connection.

• 44:29Speaker 01

  What do children who are distressed need?

• 44:32Hala Taha?

  Good parents.

• 44:34Speaker 01

  Curiosity. When you say good parents, right, good parents. That's right. They need compassion, curiosity, and connection. They need good parents to co-regulate with them. So self is compassion, self is connection, self is that curiosity. So these self-like qualities, offering them to this part, allowed the part to settle. And in that moment of settling, where you had the, had a nice little cathartic release, you had some breath, you had compassion, you had connection emerged, clarity emerged, self-energy emerged, Hala, okay? The bottom line here, babe, is rinse and repeat. Every time you have enough awareness of that, that part, so the next time you notice, oh

• 45:19Speaker 01

  shit, the controller's here, I want you to challenge yourself to say, guys, I'm going to step away for a second, okay? And then I'm going to give you my app, because in the app, I can take you through this like a meditation, you don't have to do it yourself, but you could also do it with the book. And I want you to take yourself, let me take you through the four steps, or take yourself through the four steps. And then access a little self through the four steps, and then return to the team. That will change your career.

• 45:46Hala Taha?

  So much better than doing like a stream of consciousness on Slack, you know? This, this, I feel like will prevent a lot of that, you know, just kind of just rattling off what's in my brain and being able to like step back and come back. And how would that impact your, is this contagious with the team?

• 46:03Speaker 01

  Very, yeah. You know, one of the things that I do with my team is I, what I'll do is I, I speak for my parts rather than as my parts as often as possible. So the other day, I was like stepping on somebody's toes on a call, and the next day I was like, I noticed a part of me that was like a little controlling, stepping on your toes a bit, and I just wanted to speak for that because I think that there's a part of me that still doesn't totally trust this new relationship with the paid team or whatever it was, you know what I mean? And speaking for the part, right? And then what that does for them is it lets them start to use the language as well. And it allows me to, I have some team members where we'll talk about, you know, we'll speak for our parts, right? So they'll be like, oh, part of me got really triggered here.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  But more importantly, the more self-energy I show up with, the less activated their parts get and the more self they have. So it's not even like we have to deal with, because remember, we are, we are the energy that they're regulating with. It's just, it's just the dynamic. There's nothing, there's no way around it, right? And so when we show up in self, we give them permission to be in self. And if they're not in self, our self-energy can hold that and realize, okay, I'm not responsible for you, but I can acknowledge you.

• 47:18Hala Taha?

  Yeah.

• 47:18Speaker 01

  And have compassion towards you and have clarity to tell you, you know, here, here's what we can do next, right?

• 47:22Hala Taha?

  Yeah.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  So this is, it's called self-led leadership. And I'm super passionate about this. I really want to teach as many entrepreneurs this, the style of, of living, but also the style of working, because I think that so many entrepreneurs are, are really, are really good, doing good in the world. A lot of your podcasters that work with you and just a lot of what you're doing is really good people doing good work. And man, do they need, do they all need, do we all, do we all need that access to self?

• 47:51Hala Taha?

  Yeah. Let's go deeper on these protector parts and how to speak to them. So I know that there's managers, there's firefighters, and you say we should be speaking to these protector parts when we're checking in, right? Can you help us understand all of that?

• 48:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, so in IFS, there's different levels of protectors. And I don't really get too heavy, I explain it in the book, but I don't go too heavily into it because these more extreme parts, like the protect, like the firefighters, which is often the addicts, right? The suicidal ideation, the dissociation, the addict, that's a part that I would say you really want to work with in therapy or in a 12-step program or, you know, in a recovery center or things like this. But for the sake of your own self-help work, connect to the, what it's called managers, right? The protector parts of yourself that are sort of the day-to-day, always on kind of first responders, the controller in your case, or for me, the controller as well, the first responders, right?

• 48:49Speaker 01

  So maybe you have a first responder that's like the people pleaser, or the first responder that's like, you know, that goes, nums out on YouTube, or the protection mechanisms that you have that are the ones that are around on a day-to-day basis. And that, that advice, I think, is very, very cautious, because it's not saying, oh, you're a drug addict, go start checking in with your drug addict part. It just might feel that that part is too stuck in shame or too hard to access. And so I would say really doing that work with the therapist would be a better, better next step. So the managers are, we check in with the manager of the protection mechanisms that are the parts of us that are on high alert all day long. The ones that are just on repeat throughout the day.

• 49:27Hala Taha?

  So let's talk about boundaries. What kind of role does boundaries play when it comes to protecting our energy? And how can we set them as entrepreneurs without having guilt?

• 49:38Speaker 01

  When you, I'm gonna sound a little bit like a broken record, but when you start to access more self inside, once again, remember you have more clarity. So as you start to heal the burdened parts of yourself and you start to access more of that self energy, you are just, just more clear about what you need.

• 49:59Speaker 01

  And I can speak for this very authentically because I'm living it right now.

• 50:03Hala Taha?

  Yeah.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  So now with that total newfound clarity of what I need, I have very clear boundaries. I can write reviews, I'm writing reviews for my team right now, and I can be very specific in the incidences where that thing that happened isn't actually what I want, right? Or what, or what's gonna fly for me. It's like, you know, somebody doesn't get a, get back to somebody quickly. It's like, this may sound like a strange boundary, but it's like, you know, I have a hard line in the sand. That's really important for me that we return emails within 24 hours to people that are outside the business because I want to be respectful, right? So if, unless you have a really big reason, like, let's make sure that's a, that's a clear boundary, right? It's like, but I can say that not being an asshole.

• 50:43Hala Taha?

  Yeah.

• 50:43Speaker 01

  And so when you have that clarity and you have that confidence and you have that courage, boundaries become effortless. They become, they become almost like second nature. They become, it's almost strange if you wouldn't be creating boundaries because you just have so much clarity that we wouldn't override it. And so it's not like, it, it becomes more effortless. And so it's gonna sound like a broken record, but keep coming back to these steps to keep connecting to self. And the more self you're in, the easier it is to create those boundaries. Like, if you have a boundary you want to create with a person in your life, go do the four step check in, get back into self, then go and say what you need.

• 51:18Hala Taha?

  Yeah, that's really good advice.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  Don't say what you need, don't create a boundary from a part, from a protection mechanism.

• 51:23Hala Taha?

  You've gotta get clarity first and know what you're doing.

• 51:26Speaker 01

  You gotta get calm, you gotta get clear, you gotta get confident, you gotta get courage, you gotta get, you know, you gotta get out of the, the trigger.

• 51:34Hala Taha?

  Another issue that entrepreneurs specifically have is perfectionism. And you've said before, you don't need to be perfect, you just have to show up. So talk to us about perfectionism and entrepreneurship and, and all your advice there.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  You know, I'm kind of the wrong person to ask about perfectionism because I think one of my greatest virtues, even in my most difficult moments in my life, is just my ability to be like, fuck it, let's go. And in some ways, I've almost had to, to become more methodical and more, more pristine about things as I've, I've trained myself to be. But, but I, I think that perfectionism, just like control, just like workaholism, all of it, is just another form of protection. If it's not perfect, and I see this particularly right now, even in like my young child, for instance. It's like, if he's not perfect at it, he won't do it. Why? Because he's so afraid of the feeling of not being good enough, right? Not doing it perfectly, not being, not being, being inadequate.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  And so these are young, young parts that were established at a very, very young age. And so we need to be very gentle with them. And so do the four step check in with the protection, with the, with the perfectionist. But recognizing first also that that perfectionist is very young. If you ask your perfectionist part, how long have you been around? It's gonna be like, forever. And why is it there? You know, because at some point in time, you realize if I'm not perfect, I'm not good enough. Or I'm not perfect, I'm inadequate, or if I'm not perfect, I'm not safe.

• 53:00Hala Taha?

  So remind me, do the four step check in again, like, give me an example of, aside from what we went through with me, the controller, give me an example.

• 53:07Speaker 01

  Let's just do it with the listener, okay? So let's do it with the listener right now, or the viewer. Anyone that is, take a moment to think about any pattern, thought, or behavior that's on repeat in your life. It's just pretty, pretty up for you. And we gave some examples, like, maybe you're getting to control mode, or rage mode, or maybe you're a perfectionist, or maybe you check out and you numb out, maybe you, you know, just YouTube to, to avoid. All the things that you do to, to, the, the beliefs or the feelings or the behaviors that are sort of undesirable and on repeat. It could also be something like anxiety.

• 53:41Hala Taha?

  I was gonna say anxiety.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  Could be a belief, like, I, I can't get to the next level, or just think about that undesirable thing that's just kind of up for you all the time that you just can't kick. And we're gonna check in with it instead of check out. So the first step is to choose to check in. So choose to focus your attention inward if it feels safe for you in this moment. If not, just listen. But if it feels safe for you in this moment, choose to check inside and check in with that part of yourself. The second step is to become curious. And so you're gonna ask a few questions. What do you, where does it live in your body? Where does this part live in your body? And just notice what you notice. And maybe ask the part, how long has it been around? And just notice what you notice.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  And notice if there's any thoughts or feelings or sensations attached to it. So we've offered it some curiosity. And as soon as you get a few answers and you start to have those, those answers, bud, you're getting connection. And that's when you offer the third step, which is compassionate connection. And you offer this part the question, what do you need?

• 54:46Speaker 01

  And listen, you know, Hala, what you said was beautiful. I need, I need a break, you know, you're like, I need a, I need to rest, I need support.

• 54:53Speaker 01

  And then once you do that, just take a deep breath and breathe into the space where that part lives in your body. And notice any shifts inside. Notice if you feel a little connection to the part. Notice if you feel more curious about it. Notice if you feel some compassion towards it.

• 55:09Speaker 01

  Notice any courage or any creative energy moving through you.

• 55:15Speaker 01

  Just, just pay attention and notice what you notice inside. And likely you've noticed a little bit of calmness or a little bit of clarity in that self. And those are the four steps. Rinse and repeat. Throughout the book, I give you a lot of different ways to use these steps. I'm gonna tell you, this is an absolute game changer for an entrepreneur if you actually apply it. Like, if you do one minute a day of checking in with your parts, that will change your career. It will up-level you. You'll manifest way, way more. Because you're gonna be a calmer point of attraction. And then that's when you start to effortlessly manifest.

• 55:52Hala Taha?

  Okay, so my last question to you, now that you've been an entrepreneur for almost two decades, right?

• 55:59Speaker 01

  Over two decades, 25 years.

• 56:01Hala Taha?

  Wow, over two decades. And you've been through all these transformations. Like you said, you feel like you're kind of a new person every 10 years in terms of how you view the world. What's your mission now? And, and how has it evolved over the years? Like, do you feel like your mission has changed?

• 56:15Speaker 01

  My mission hasn't changed, it's just up-leveled. So right now, my mission is to serve as many souls as I can. I've always known I'm one to many. I am welcoming the support of the universe, I'm welcoming the support of the, the team. I'm welcoming all the energy within me and around me to, to create the environment with which I can effortlessly do my, do my good work. Because my work is healing. And it's a reminder to others of the light that is inside of them. And that is what's needed now to combat and to balance the energy of the times that we're living in. And it's very, very clear to me.

• 56:59Speaker 01

  So I'm, so here right now, thank you, Hala, for being part of that. You know, just, just care, helping me carry the message, helping me do that in this moment.

• 57:06Hala Taha?

  Of course. So I asked two questions to end my show with all of my guests. The first one is, what is one actionable thing our young improfitters can do today to become more profitable tomorrow?

• 57:17Speaker 01

  Check in with your parts.

• 57:19Hala Taha?

  Check in, do the four step check in. We did it, we did it a few times, so you guys are pros now. Second one, which you can answer, doesn't have to do with today's episode, just answer it from the heart. What is your secret to profiting in life?

• 57:33Speaker 01

  Focusing on my inner world and healing, healing myself. Feeling safe inside.

• 57:40Hala Taha?

  Okay, any last advice to the entrepreneurs out there today?

• 57:43Speaker 01

  You are the one you've been waiting for. Know that you, that, that your energy and your sense of, of connection inside is, is the secret.

• 57:56Hala Taha?

  Gabby, I know everybody can find you online, you're really easy to find, but where do you want to send everybody to as a first step?

• 58:01Speaker 01

  Well, the book is called Self Help. This is your chance to change your life. You can find me at deargabby.com. My podcast is Dear Gabby, at Gabby Bernstein on social. I'm all over the place. You'll find me, you'll find me if, if it's resonating.

• 58:17Hala Taha?

  Awesome. Gabby, thank you so much for joining us today on Young and Profiting.

• 58:20Speaker 01

  Such a good episode, thanks.

• 58:25Hala Taha?

  Hey, Yap fam, if you're growing an audience on social media but struggling to turn those followers into actual customers, I've got a podcast recommendation for you. It's called Build Your Tribe, hosted by social media expert and entrepreneur Brock Johnson, right here on the Yap Media Podcast Network. Brock shares practical strategies to help entrepreneurs and creators grow their online presence and turn engagement into revenue. Whether you're trying to create content that gets noticed, grow your email list, launch a digital product, or figure out how to monetize your audience, Brock breaks it all down into simple, actionable steps you can start using right away. Because growing a following is one thing, building a profitable business around it? That's a whole different game. If you're ready to grow your audience and turn that attention into something bigger,

• 59:09Hala Taha?

  check out Build Your Tribe. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen or watch podcasts.