Contentment, The M.A.S.K. movie and Steven Bartlett

Why Is Tom Pitching a M. A. S. K. Movie To Romesh? Strap in, this one is is exactly as unhinged as it sounds. In this episode of Wolf & Owl, a chat about Terry Pratchett somehow turns into a full-blown debate on contentment, imposter syndrome and why winning an award never fills the gap. The boys then argue over whether Coco Pops are a justifiable expense if you’re living in a park. Then, Tom introduces Mister Fart and pitches Romesh a live-action M. A. S. K. movie... Got a question, dilemma or poem? Email [email protected] If you've been thinking about therapy, BetterHelp can help you take the first step. Sign up and get 10% off at https://www. BetterHelp.com/wolfowl A Ranga Bee Production. Chapters: 00:00 Intro02:02 Terry Pratchett03:32 What is contentment?06:03 Social media and comparing yourself08:08 Imposter syndrome14:51 The Back to the Future ending22:36 Mister Fart28:12 Pitching a M. A. S. K. movie39:56 Tom’s closer: Megan Fox and the squirrels42:30 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hello and welcome to the Wolf and Owl Podcast. It's the poddy pod for all the podders who love to pod.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  This is my favourite version of you ever. This is your Terry Pratchett.

• 0:11Speaker 00

  If you like podcasts, I've got good news for you. We've got oodles of it.

• 0:19Speaker 02

  Yo, yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred? Just kidding. Every word in his songs about two grown men dressed up as a bad in the dark.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Now, some of you guys know that I run a business, Mandrill Protein. And when I started it, the thing I didn't want to do was spend six months trying to figure out how to build a website before I'd even sold anything.

• 0:44Speaker 00

  Gosh, Tom, I didn't know you ran a business.

• 0:46Speaker 01

  Rum, you do not run a business.

• 0:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, I do. Carry on.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Shopify made that bit genuinely straightforward. The templates, the AI tools, you get a proper looking store up and running fast. No coding needed.

• 0:59Speaker 00

  Oh, we know how much you hate coding, Tom.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I loathe coding. And when I saw it there looking like an actual credible thing. You know what, Rum? That's the moment Mandrill felt real.

• 1:11Speaker 00

  So it looks like a proper business rather than something you knocked up at midnight on a laptop?

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. And the checkout side of it matters too. Shopify checkout means customers can actually complete a purchase without giving up halfway through. Returning customers can do it in a single click across multiple stores.

• 1:28Speaker 00

  Which is good because people absolutely give up halfway through if you make it complicated, Tom.

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• 2:02Speaker 00

  Start your free trial at Shopify.co.uk. That's Shopify.co.uk.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  You must have loved Terry Pratchett when you were a kid.

• 2:11Speaker 00

  Correct.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:13Speaker 00

  My favourite was the, I think it's called Mort.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  What was that about?

• 2:17Speaker 00

  Mort. That guy called Mort.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:20Speaker 00

  I've not read them for ages, but I did like it. I mean, the Discworld thing was a bit, I mean, it was, the whole, all those books were good.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  Did you read them?

• 2:29Speaker 01

  No, no, I'd sort of.

• 2:30Speaker 00

  No, so why are you going, yeah, yeah? Like we're having a shared experience.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Some kids in my class, they'd read them. Sort of listening to sort of.

• 2:39Speaker 00

  I read them once and then left it, so I'm not really an expert. So I don't want to upset.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  What was Pratchett in your mind? What did Pratchett bring to the world of books that no one else did?

• 2:47Speaker 00

  Why are you doing this?

• 2:50Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:51Speaker 00

  No, because you're shaming me for reading.

• 2:53Speaker 01

  I'm not shaming.

• 2:55Speaker 00

  You are, and bearing in mind that.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  What, what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  A lot of young people.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  No, can I just say, this is what you've done. If you've pulled up, I'm genuinely interested what Pratchett brought to the, I know that he had like this incre- incredible imagination.

• 3:08Speaker 00

  It was, it was funny fantasy stuff.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  He was very good. I think, yeah, more people should, I've not read enough of them.

• 3:14Speaker 00

  No. What are you reading at the moment?

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Uh, I read a lot of sort of like self-help books.

• 3:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, I do as well, actually.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do.

• 3:22Speaker 00

  Um, what are you reading? Can you think of anything?

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Do you know what I've read recently, which is incredible, is about, oh, fuck, the words are going out of my mind. So it's all, everything's set around that Japanese word, word, word about living, so.

• 3:35Speaker 00

  Ichigai.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  Ichigai.

• 3:37Speaker 00

  Ichigai, yeah.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  I've just read that. That's what I read on holiday. Incredible.

• 3:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  It just makes you think about everything differently.

• 3:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  It literally is like, oh, okay. They've got it sussed. We, we, we overcomplicate everything.

• 3:50Speaker 00

  Here's my thing. I, I've become fascinated with, uh, the idea of what contentment is and how we live our lives and the constructs that we've put in place in order to give us some sort of sense of purpose and all that.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  Do you think that we've now, contentment is a thing that's harder to find than it was generationally, like our parents' generation before, before, like, my, my mum and dad always felt, although they didn't have hardly anything, very content. Like, oh, this is, we, we've worked hard and we work hard to have a life that's, we're providing, but, you know, they didn't feel like, they, they were aspirationally looking for more and more and more. They felt like they were like, oh no, you know what? We're fit, we're, we're able to feed the family, we're able to, you know, they didn't feel like the, the world is now where everyone's constantly looking for more.

• 4:38Speaker 00

  Well, I, I, I think some of it is, I'm oversimplifying here, but some of it is expectations management and like what you actually want. Cause, cause I think if you'd have said to me, I was going to get to even a point five years ago in my career, for example, I wouldn't have been, I wouldn't have believed.

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• 5:49Speaker 00

  You, right? I wouldn't have thought that, so beyond the realms of possibility. But once I got there, I started thinking, what, what bigger thing, well, not bigger, I don't, bigger's the wrong thing. What different thing, what new thing can I do? Right? And that's kind of what you end up being driven by. And sometimes if you just go, how I'm going to live my life is, I'm going to do whatever I can to make today great. And then tomorrow, great. And you build up, and you build up and you get rid of the things you don't enjoy doing and don't, that don't serve you. And you focus on the things that do serve you, make you feel good. That to me is contentment. And, and I'm not talking about just career, I'm talking about have I, have, have I got, if I look across this month, have I got enough time with my family?

• 6:33Speaker 00

  Have I got, is the things, are the things that I'm doing at work fun things? Let's put paying your bills and stuff to one side. Let's assume that you're, that's one of the goals that you've got to achieve. But I'm talking about like, is the ratio of good, fun, nice things in my life right? And if it is, then I think that's contentment. But, but I think that you get caught up in like social media and are being across more stuff that's happening in the world means that, uh, you start looking at other people and thinking, I should be doing this and I should be doing that. It leads to like envy and you sort of think, oh, this person's doing this and maybe I should be moving more in that direction. When actually, if you didn't have those outside influences, you might just be happy where you are. And I don't mean that in a derogatory way.

• 7:15Speaker 00

  I mean, like, I think the biggest enemy to your happiness and contentment is manufactured dissatisfaction. I think.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  Do you think it's sort of now like the, everything that we, the world was like, without being like.

• 7:34Speaker 00

  Well, you're about to say without getting wanky, I'm afraid that ship has sailed from what I've just said. So we're on wanky waters now.

• 7:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it was a lot, a lot of a smaller place, like place, right? So if you think like, uh, parents in their generation, if someone down the road got a new car, that was the aspiration of, oh, that, that person's doing well. So it's very small in, in the basis of like, you know, you weren't really looking outside your social, so like television, films felt a million miles away from, from anything. And you.

• 8:02Speaker 00

  I know you're a fucking movie star.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  No, but you look at like social media now, the lie and, and everything that, that we're, we're constantly showing of people who, influencers. I think, I've nothing against influencers, crack on, do what you're doing. But I think when you're peddling what is a lie of like, well, I've spent this much money to spend 15 minutes in a private jet to get 20 photos to make it look like I'm living this kind of life. That's seductive and for any young person, they go, yeah, they, they, they go, I'd like to live that life. That's something I'd like to do. And that is, feels quite attainable.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  For me, that's the thing that's, like, contentment, I think is a, like you, I, I, I, like now, let's sit in a place where I'm like, not, everything I, I do is a complete, it's, it's mad, insane that I've got to a point where I do things. So there's a lot of, most of my day is spent with imposter syndrome or worrying, how, or thinking.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  Those are your two best friends.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, that's what I sit with. So it's not like contentment of me going, oh, I wish I could achieve more. It's more like just me going, am I worthy of what I'm doing? Which is, I think, a different thing.

• 9:13Speaker 00

  Well, I, I think like it's sort of, I mean, this is getting so, but, but.

• 9:17Speaker 01

  It's not at all how I saw this episode going.

• 9:19Speaker 00

  No, no, me neither, but.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  I'm going to do a role play about.

• 9:21Speaker 00

  I mean, it started off, I mean, it started off just talking about reading. But, um, you and I have this in common. I don't know if you have this, but I think what you're trying to do is you're just desperate for some sort of, for the validation that makes you feel worthy of things, right? And that's why people get so obsessed with winning an award or, or, or for what they do. Because what that is, is that is somebody else going, you're really good at this. And I want to, and I think you're so good at this, I'm going to give you an award for it, right? And what you think is going to happen is that award is going to fill like the gap that you've got in yourself and suddenly you're going to be validated, but you won't.

• 10:02Speaker 00

  Uh, and, and, and, and that is because, in my opinion, in my uneducated, poorly read opinion, that is because there is something else that needs fixing. Uh, uh, uh, and you have like a, a thing where. You get into this cycle of I don't deserve to be doing the things I'm doing. And and I'm not talking about work in isolation either. I'm talking about you're not deserving of your wife, you're not deserving of your kid, you're not deserving of the whatever your home life is, right? And so then you're just on this treadmill of looking for like validation from, so you're looking elsewhere for validation. It's why when we walk off stage, we need somebody to go, that was really good.

• 10:47Speaker 00

  Because we can't tell ourselves that. You you you're not in a mental state to be able to go. The ideal, the paradise is you go, that was good enough for me and I don't give a fuck what anybody else thinks, right? So, but that's tricky. It's tricky, it's very difficult to get to that point, but that is kind of where where contentment lies. Welcome to the comedy podcast Wolf and Al.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Someone was telling me the other day though, because I was questioning this on a thing I'm doing where I'm like, was just saying about worthiness and, you know, questioning yourself, da da da. And the person, the person turned around and he said to me, well, the flip of it is that you walk into every situation like this or anything, situation that you, but you get something,

• 11:27Speaker 01

  you know, that's a big job or a big moment or, and you go, no, fucking dudes have this. We should essentially make you a bit of a narcissist if you turned up and went, well, no, I can have, this should be happening to me because I'm fucking brilliant. Which is another flex. It's all fucking confusing.

• 11:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, but those people aren't happy either.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  No.

• 11:44Speaker 00

  Because like, because they think that thing is gonna make it, you know, you, you, you, you think about the number of times you've gone for a job, right? Let's see, I'm keep using work as an example, but it's not, because it's easier to apply work to this, right? You think about a job that you've really wanted, right?

• 11:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:59Speaker 00

  And in your head, you convince yourself that if I get that job, right? I'm gonna feel so fucking great.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:05Speaker 00

  And it's gonna, I'm, I, I, and I can't believe that I'd get that job, right? Imagine, that's the thing, audition for example, right? And then you do get it. And what I imagine happens is, I don't know, seven to eight minutes of elation, right?

• 12:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  Followed by nonstop anxiety about your ability to do that job that you've just got, right? And so there's all of these things where you, we have these like false dawns where we think, if this happens, I will be happy. It's like me and Walshy, Sean Walshy used to call it the swimming pool moment, where you're sat in a swimming pool going, I did it, right? Like, that moment cannot be given to you by the outside. I just don't think it'd be given to you by external factors. It's something you have to find within yourself and it's as easy and as difficult as that, in my opinion. But the point I was gonna make is, is I um keep thinking I wanna read about this and then as soon as I read a really deep philosophy book, I'm fucking lost.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, of course.

• 13:01Speaker 00

  So I go, so I, I, I wake up in the morning, I think, so I, I start looking online, what's a good book to read about this? And then I'll read about a page of it. And then I managed to give myself a new hang up about that I can't understand shit. And then that's a new thing for me to worry about.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  What's the guy Hubbard?

• 13:17Speaker 00

  Old Mother Hubbard?

• 13:18Speaker 01

  No, who's the guy who, who, he's always on John.

• 13:20Speaker 00

  L Ron Hubbard?

• 13:21Speaker 01

  No, no, the guy, Huberman. Huberman.

• 13:24Speaker 00

  Huberman, yeah, yeah.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, Huberman. He, he, he writes in a way that I think you'd understand.

• 13:29Speaker 00

  Um, I don't know what's more patronizing, the tone of voice or the hand?

• 13:33Speaker 01

  No, just like, he writes in a way.

• 13:35Speaker 00

  He writes in a way that you'd understand.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  No, but he writes.

• 13:41Speaker 00

  Have you read the work of Roald Dahl?

• 13:44Speaker 01

  He writes in a way that you'd understand. No, but you, Huberman, right, I think, I mean, I, I, I'm not a big, I, some of his stuff, I, I sort of buy into some of it, not so much, but he, I think he's more simple. I read those books and yeah, I'm lost.

• 13:57Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Have you, has anyone here watched Pursuit of Happiness before this?

• 14:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  I've never watched it. What, what's?

• 14:05Speaker 00

  Fucking hell, what have you brought into the conversation then?

• 14:08Speaker 01

  Because that's what we're talking about. What's, what, what does he find? Because I'm guessing at the end of it, he pursues happiness and gets it.

• 14:13Speaker 00

  Well, I mean.

• 14:14Speaker 01

  It's not a very good film.

• 14:16Speaker 00

  He does get happiness, but thi- thi- this is the whole problem that we're talking about. The pursuit of happiness is he's destitute for most of the film. And he like grinds and grinds and grinds.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  Explain it for someone who might not know what destitute is.

• 14:28Speaker 00

  He's, he, basically, he's got no money at all, right? And he's trying to raise his kid. And um, he, he buys into, my recollection of it is he buys into this.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  Like a pop machine?

• 14:39Speaker 00

  No, he's a sale, he's a sewing machine salesman or, no, an X-ray machine. It's some, some piece of like, he's like a door to door salesman for this stuff. And that's one of the things he buys into, but he starts, he starts just getting super broke. There's a really horrible scene where he's got nowhere to stay the night. And so he starts to sleep in a train station like toilet with his kid. And they're lying on the floor, his kid falls asleep and they're trying to kick him out of the toilet. So they're banging on the door and he's just crying, holding on to his kid, trying to keep his kid, it's so bleak. And anyway, the, the, the film is, it takes you through like an emotional.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  But at the end of it, he finds happiness.

• 15:19Speaker 00

  Well, this is the contentious bit, in my opinion. It's not seen as contentious.

• 15:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:23Speaker 00

  He gets a great job.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:25Speaker 00

  And he makes loads of money. It's based on a true story, right? So that is, does he achieve happiness? He achieves an external signifier of what happiness is supposed to be, do you know what I mean? My god, I'm fucking on fire today. But you know, you know, um, Back to the Future?

• 15:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:43Speaker 00

  Do you know the guy that played his dad? Do you know he got booted off the second film because of this whole thing?

• 15:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:48Speaker 00

  Because at the end of Back to the Future, Marty McFly comes back to nineteen eighty five.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, George McFly.

• 15:55Speaker 00

  He's got the truck.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:57Speaker 00

  His dad's a successful author.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:59Speaker 00

  His sister and his bro- like his brother's in the corporate world, his sis, I don't know what his sister's doing, but like it's.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  So many fashion.

• 16:05Speaker 00

  Biff is working for them or whatever.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  He's like washing cars.

• 16:08Speaker 00

  And so Crispin Glover, who plays George McFly.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  By the way, always remember him being like quite needy, he was actually really handsome.

• 16:14Speaker 00

  I thought he was handsome in the, I actually.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, he is at the end, but they, they make him look quite dweeze.

• 16:18Speaker 00

  He said, I don't agree with this being the version of, like the better version of life. Like he had a big problem with the ending of that film. And he said, why is this the happy ending to this film? That suddenly they've got money and Marty's got a nice truck and all of this, like, I don't agree with that message. And I, I don't know if it's, that is part of it, but he wasn't in the second film.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, but what, they, didn't they use special effects and a look alike?

• 16:45Speaker 00

  Well, he was upside down for most of it, wasn't he?

• 16:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can't remember.

• 16:47Speaker 00

  Because he was in this like hover thing and it's like, it was faulty or whatever. But yeah, so that, i- i- it's like that happy ever after. It's like, now you find yourself thinking, well, what does, what exactly does that look like?

• 16:58Speaker 01

  What's your, what's your, like, if there's one thing that always just, you know, aside family, spending time with the boys, Lisa? What's one thing that always gives you a smile? Do you feel genuine happiness about?

• 17:10Speaker 00

  I, I, it's difficult to think something that isn't family. I, I, I, I, I think like,

• 17:16Speaker 00

  when I cut, this is so, this is gonna be so wanky. When I come downstairs and the boys are having breakfast,

• 17:23Speaker 00

  um, because they're very readily help themselves now. But when, when I come downstairs, the boys having breakfast, have a chat with Lisa, that's my favorite part of every day.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  Yes, oh yeah.

• 17:31Speaker 00

  That's great.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:32Speaker 00

  Unless Lisa's on the phone to that guy again. But, but for, for the most part, that's the happiest part. Like, I, I, I think that, um, yeah. But there's so many other things that had to have happened in order for me to get to that point, right? Like, I have to be in that house. My kids have to be comfortable because I've made enough money to make them, do you know what I mean? There's, so, so the, the idea that I'm presenting a simple idea or a simple, that's my idea of happiness, right? There's lots of things that have had, that are holding that up, you know what I mean? If I, if, if we were living in a park, would that be my favorite part of the day?

• 18:04Speaker 01

  No, it'd probably be quite bleak.

• 18:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think, well, maybe it would or maybe it wouldn't, but.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  I think it would be bleak if you, you.

• 18:11Speaker 00

  I think, you know, you're living in amongst the squirrels, I'm not a stick man.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  By the way, squirrels are getting outlandish. They're getting a lot of confidence. They're coming to people, we talked about this the other week, they got people's windows that, you know.

• 18:21Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're not eating, you're probably eating, you're, you're fighting squirrels for nuts. Your boys, it's not the same thing as you coming down again.

• 18:29Speaker 00

  We, we, we rarely, um, I don't know what Lisa's told you about our last stuff, but we're not foragers.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  No, no, but if you're living in the fucking park and the.

• 18:38Speaker 00

  Oh, I see, if we're living in the park, yeah.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you're living in a park, you haven't got like a, you, there's nowhere to keep your cornflakes and rice grisbees.

• 18:44Speaker 00

  What if it make, yeah, that's true.

• 18:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, so it's like Lisa would come down and go, right, boys, yeah, scavenging time, let's hope squirrels haven't got to the nuts.

• 18:51Speaker 00

  Sparrows made a nest out of your Cocoa Pops.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, no, you wouldn't have Cocoa Pops. You're, if you're living in the park.

• 18:58Speaker 00

  You can go to the shop though, can't you?

• 18:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it's insane thing to spend like four pounds on Cocoa Pops when you.

• 19:03Speaker 00

  What if, what if that's, what if that's our one thing, like, in all of this horrible life, the, all the kids says, you know what, dad, this is so bleak, but the one thing that keeps me going is Cocoa Pops. And so that's the only thing that we buy. That's feasible.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  Take your finger out your arse. That's really like, you, you need to aspire to more than bringing Cocoa Pops.

• 19:22Speaker 00

  Well, that's where we're at now, man. We're at Cocoa Pops now.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  I'm just saying, also then you've got the milk to buy. It's like, you, you probably share a Snickers between all of you.

• 19:31Speaker 00

  I guess so, yeah.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it's cheaper.

• 19:34Speaker 00

  You, you've been quite judgmental with this hypothetical scenario.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  Well, I'm saying you're living in a park and you're like, living on bougie.

• 19:39Speaker 00

  What would you do?

• 19:40Speaker 01

  I certainly wouldn't be that bougie, I'd be going out going, oh brother, oh, let's get the old Cocoa Pops in, I think. I'd be like, right, let's scavenge together a little bit more money, like we could live off the land.

• 19:50Speaker 00

  Live off the land?

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like, there's animals around, you're up against, you would not be able to be a vegan for long, because you'd be able.

• 19:57Speaker 00

  No, I'd be full carnival.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:59Speaker 00

  Apart from the Cocoa Pops, that I think is a legitimate purchase.

• 20:02Speaker 01

  It's insane that you think.

• 20:04Speaker 00

  I'm not talking about buying lots and lots of Cocoa Pops, but I'm saying.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  Own brand.

• 20:07Speaker 00

  Pardon?

• 20:08Speaker 01

  Could go own brand.

• 20:08Speaker 00

  No, fuck that, John, I'm not a savage. I'm living in a park, but I'm not a, what the fuck do you think I am?

• 20:14Speaker 01

  Maybe once a year at Christmas, you get Cocoa Pops.

• 20:16Speaker 00

  Cocoa puffs or whatever the fuck they're called, no, don't care.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  I think.

• 20:19Speaker 00

  Not, not in my name.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Those squirrels, you'd be setting traps for them, eating them.

• 20:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:23Speaker 01

  Be care, you have to do, like buy a book.

• 20:25Speaker 00

  You could leave Cocoa Pops out as a little bit of bait.

• 20:27Speaker 01

  No.

• 20:27Speaker 00

  They're useful as well as delicious.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  Throwing the Cocoa Pops away. You have to get a book on mush, wild mushrooms and foraging.

• 20:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  Going into people's bins and stuff.

• 20:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  Oh, crisis.

• 20:37Speaker 00

  I'd be like Fantastic Mr. Fox.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  That's a, that's a sad old life, that, isn't it?

• 20:43Speaker 00

  What is?

• 20:44Speaker 01

  Park dwelling, park living.

• 20:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't, I don't, that's not the hottest take you've ever given on this.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  No, but it's, I've never really thought about it.

• 20:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, because I don't think it happens, is it? Do people live in parks?

• 20:54Speaker 01

  I'm sure there's somewhere.

• 20:55Speaker 00

  But I, I, you get moved on, don't you, if you're in a park? If I stay, if you stayed in a park as a family of five with two dogs, which I think we probably get rid of.

• 21:03Speaker 01

  No, but, yeah.

• 21:08Speaker 01

  I'm not sticking around, you remember we used to live in that pig house?

• 21:10Speaker 00

  Imagine, imagine eventually, eventually Reggie and Ivy just like, we're not coming back.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:16Speaker 00

  Throw the stick, but we ain't bringing it back.

• 21:19Speaker 04

  Sad fuck.

• 21:22Speaker 04

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• 22:20Speaker 00

  Thanks.

• 22:23Speaker 01

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• 22:25Speaker 00

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• 22:34Speaker 01

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• 23:59Speaker 01

  Genuinely scared me.

• 24:01Speaker 00

  Okay, but I don't think it's in your immediate future.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  No, no, not in the media. I mean, to be fair, I think it would just be, I don't think Grace has got a part, part living in her house, in a, in a, in a.

• 24:08Speaker 00

  She's got a part living in a house.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  No, wheelhouse. That's not in her.

• 24:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, kids would love it.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  No, no, she'd hate it.

• 24:13Speaker 00

  Initially, she'd like it though, wouldn't she?

• 24:15Speaker 01

  Well, yeah.

• 24:15Speaker 00

  It feels like camping.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:16Speaker 00

  But then eventually.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  Did you use to bake camps with the boys?

• 24:19Speaker 00

  No.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  Really?

• 24:21Speaker 00

  No.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Oh mate, well, it's one of the things we're doing a bit at the moment.

• 24:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  Get some old sort of sticks, a little teepee thing. She goes in, I'm the doorman outside.

• 24:29Speaker 00

  That's good.

• 24:31Speaker 01

  What's great, at the age she's at at the moment, there's a lot of imaginative play. We're sort of playing sort of characters and stuff. It's quite fun. What was your favorite game with the boys when you were a kid?

• 24:39Speaker 00

  Does she, is she able to, is she able to get any characters in with the way that you roleplay?

• 24:46Speaker 00

  Or does she have to sit and watch this menagerie of different people?

• 24:49Speaker 01

  She is a, it depends. We've started playing Sylvanian Families. We've played with the little.

• 24:54Speaker 00

  Is that still a thing, Sylvanian Families?

• 24:56Speaker 01

  Girls, yeah, she loves it. So yeah, we do different voices. So there's one character I do is a, it's a snow leopard called Mr. Fart.

• 25:03Speaker 00

  Mr. Fart?

• 25:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:05Speaker 00

  Yeah. Could you give us a little burst?

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Hello, it's me. It's Mr. Fart. I'm just popping around here and hoping that nobody makes me fart.

• 25:14Speaker 00

  How do you make Mr. Fart fart?

• 25:15Speaker 01

  Someone says something or bites and knocks him and he farts and then he goes up in the air. But then we have.

• 25:22Speaker 00

  I bet she laughs the head off.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  And then we have like Mr. Fart's birthday party. That's the favorite thing at the moment where he doesn't get invited to his own party.

• 25:29Speaker 00

  That's sad. Why? Because of the farting?

• 25:31Speaker 01

  The fart and he's quite an annoying character.

• 25:33Speaker 00

  Right.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:33Speaker 00

  And where did you draw on that for that story?

• 25:36Speaker 01

  So he'll turn up.

• 25:37Speaker 00

  What experiences did you?

• 25:38Speaker 01

  Whose birthday party is this? And she'll go, it's your party. I wasn't invited. And you're like, yeah, because you stink of fart.

• 25:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, because you're a [BLEEP].

• 25:47Speaker 00

  Fuck off, Mr. Fart, you sad old prick.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  That's the, yeah.

• 25:50Speaker 00

  That's Grace's bit. That's Grace's.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  That's Grace's bit.

• 25:54Speaker 00

  That sounds really lovely. What a great dad.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  Did you used to play figures with the kids?

• 25:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:59Speaker 01

  That's one of my favorite things. That's my, that's my happy place.

• 26:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  We'll play. Sometimes the three of us will use to play figures.

• 26:05Speaker 00

  Do you think it'd be difficult for Grace when she grows out of it and you're still eyeballs deep in it?

• 26:09Speaker 01

  Do you know what? That is one, oh, that's interesting. I sometimes think it's one of the, it's a good thing for our imagination. But playing with toys is actually, like, I've got a friend who still, I think, does it. He won't admit to it, but I'm almost definitely adamant he does.

• 26:21Speaker 00

  How do you know?

• 26:22Speaker 01

  Because like when I've been around his house, he's, he's got like figures out and they look like they've been doing, like playing a game with.

• 26:27Speaker 00

  Yeah. Is he not doing it like Elf on the Shelf and just putting them in different positions?

• 26:30Speaker 01

  No, maybe for pictures. But I've never seen the pictures.

• 26:33Speaker 00

  Right.

• 26:34Speaker 01

  But don't you think it's, it's one of my, yeah, I actually, now you've said it, I'm not really thought too much about it because she's at that age. I've probably got a couple of years of doing that. Maybe me and Catherine would just be at Sylvanian Families downstairs, sort of doing their different voices and stuff.

• 26:47Speaker 00

  Well, I, I remember, this is a bit embarrassing now, but as soon as we're talking about this. I remember like, did you ever do things where like you'd,

• 26:55Speaker 00

  you would not even be playing with toys, but you'd imagine that you were in like a show, like, I don't know, Action Force or something like that.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:02Speaker 00

  Right. So I used to do, I was a Transformers fanatic. So I used to pretend I was one of the Autobots. And I'd be like on my mum and dad's bed, pretending I was in, you know, you're sort of like a kid. I remember like the day where I thought, I'm too old to be doing this. Like, yeah, and it's a sad day, right? And actually.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  You have to hang up your imagination at that point.

• 27:23Speaker 00

  Well, so that's where, that's what I think you are trying to lock back into when you're being a creative.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:29Speaker 00

  It is actually, you shut this thing off and then what happens is we get taken over. But oh God, what has happened to me today? It's like I've taken a fucking, do you know what I feel a little bit like? I've turning into Stephen Bartlett.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  I think you're more Bartlett stroke Rogan.

• 27:41Speaker 00

  I'm spouting, I'm spouting just half-assed, uneducated theories about stuff.

• 27:46Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be quite honest because you're very sincere in this world and it all wrote, roads seem to lead to sort of like, you having these really moments of enlightenment.

• 27:53Speaker 06

  Your third eye is open.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:55Speaker 00

  My fucking second one barely. We're back.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  So hold on, go on, because I am quite interested.

• 28:02Speaker 00

  Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is, is like when you're a kid.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:05Speaker 00

  You're probably, you're probably, you're probably about to come up with your most interesting storylines.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:11Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? And then, and then you close all that off. And then when you're like writing a sitcom or writing stand-up, you've got to break or you've got to try and break all that down.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  I think I probably went longer than I should have with that kind of world.

• 28:23Speaker 00

  When did you stop? Just before you had Grace?

• 28:26Speaker 01

  Not far off. I, I'd go in the garden on my own and bear in mind I was terrible at football and pretend that I was a footballer or, or yeah, like, have some mask I was obsessed with.

• 28:36Speaker 00

  Mask Crusaders.

• 28:41Speaker 00

  I don't know the next bit.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  Track is gonna.

• 28:42Speaker 00

  Lead the mission and venom.

• 28:45Speaker 01

  It's got us supervision.

• 28:48Speaker 00

  Mask. Mask. The leader of the bad guys in that, what was the, what was the bad organization called?

• 28:56Speaker 01

  Miles Mayhem, his name was.

• 28:57Speaker 00

  Miles Mayhem. Looks like he was mid 50s, I think.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  He did, yeah.

• 29:01Speaker 00

  It was a bit mad that he was involved in all of that shit. You would have think by the time you get to mid 50s, you're operating from an office.

• 29:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:07Speaker 00

  And you're sending other people out to do that shit.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  But all of them look just, yeah, they've, yeah, it's never even been mooted as coming back, has it?

• 29:14Speaker 00

  No, and it was never, live action was never talked about, was it, for Mask?

• 29:18Speaker 01

  It's too, it's too long ago now.

• 29:20Speaker 00

  But Mask is a stupid idea.

• 29:23Speaker 01

  What?

• 29:24Speaker 00

  Like, what I mean is they put on a mask and their vehicles change. Like, what the fuck?

• 29:29Speaker 01

  No, they put on a mask. The masks have power.

• 29:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, I know, but it's like.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  And then the vehicle, so it's basically Transformers and like fucking Action Man, all in one cool thing. Mask was my favorite thing.

• 29:39Speaker 00

  Okay, listen, I didn't know that you were involved in the Mask PR team. But what I mean is, how do you, okay, pitch me a, a realistic Mask movie storyline.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  Okay, what, I'm going into your office?

• 29:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, okay, cool. Let's do it. So I'm, I've got, I don't know, you've, I've put out a memo to all creatives.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 30:02Speaker 00

  I've got £130 million burning a hole in my pocket and I want to spend on a high budget new franchise.

• 30:09Speaker 01

  Okay. And who am I playing? Me?

• 30:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, let's do that. And three other people that you make up as we're going, I imagine.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  And so are you you or you're like a?

• 30:18Speaker 00

  I'm a.

• 30:21Speaker 01

  Like a tech billionaire?

• 30:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, my name's Steve Rickson.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  Steve Rickson, okay. And I'm lowly Tom Davis. Okay.

• 30:31Speaker 00

  Well, you're just Tom Davis.

• 30:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:33Speaker 00

  And you've had, have you had the career that you've had?

• 30:36Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah.

• 30:37Speaker 00

  Okay, okay.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  Wow. What a place, Mr. Rickson.

• 30:41Speaker 00

  Thank you so much for, for coming to see me, Tom.

• 30:43Speaker 01

  Thank you for seeing me, seriously.

• 30:45Speaker 00

  No problem at all.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  No, seriously.

• 30:46Speaker 00

  Yeah. How was the journey in?

• 30:48Speaker 01

  Uh, very interesting, actually. Very interesting.

• 30:53Speaker 00

  In what way?

• 30:56Speaker 01

  Um, oh no, it was, the train was a little bit late and, yeah, it had been raining. So there's that sort of humid sort of feeling in the air.

• 31:04Speaker 00

  And that's what you, is that?

• 31:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:07Speaker 00

  Well, at least you've got an anecdote out of it.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, someone was eating some smelly crisps. But anyhow, I'm not, I'm not here to talk about trap, Mr. Rickson.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  I'm not here to talk about travel, Mr. Rickson.

• 31:23Speaker 00

  Uh, sorry.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  Mr. Rickson, you're on.

• 31:25Speaker 00

  Yes, yes, go for it.

• 31:26Speaker 01

  I'm here to talk about something far more interesting.

• 31:29Speaker 00

  Yes, look, I've been excited about this. I, I heard from your agent, you've got an idea that apparently is gonna blow my socks off, so.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  Well, yes, I think it might, Mr. Rickson, knowing your background.

• 31:40Speaker 00

  I was in socks, that's how, that's how.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  Uh, yes.

• 31:43Speaker 00

  It was, it was the sock app.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:45Speaker 00

  Sock X.

• 31:46Speaker 01

  Socks, and also you like cars, right? Am I wrong in saying that you like automobiles?

• 31:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, I love automobiles.

• 31:52Speaker 01

  So imagine if you had.

• 31:53Speaker 00

  Is this, is this, has the pitch started?

• 31:55Speaker 01

  No, no, don't put it on the clock yet.

• 31:57Speaker 00

  Oh, right. It's not a clock, I'm just, I'm just, I might be, I'm just, I'm just trying to ascertain, am I now being pitched to, you know, it's got, it's got exciting.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  If you will, that your car would change into something completely different if you put on a cool mask.

• 32:09Speaker 00

  Transformers?

• 32:10Speaker 01

  Yes, but imagine the Transformers didn't have personalities, but the people who drove them did.

• 32:16Speaker 00

  So it's people?

• 32:17Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 32:18Speaker 00

  In Transformers?

• 32:19Speaker 01

  Yes, basically.

• 32:20Speaker 00

  Right.

• 32:20Speaker 01

  And their cars change where they go on a.

• 32:22Speaker 00

  Into a robot?

• 32:23Speaker 01

  No, not a robot, just into something, like a car that would change into a battering ram car or a flying car.

• 32:28Speaker 00

  So a car that changes into a car?

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, like a flying car.

• 32:31Speaker 00

  A flying car?

• 32:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, so it would be like a, a NASCAR that turns into a flying car.

• 32:35Speaker 00

  Right.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  Uh, that would probably be driven by a character you might know called Matt Tracker.

• 32:41Speaker 00

  You're talking about Mask?

• 32:42Speaker 01

  I am talking about Mask. I'm talking about a live action Mask, Mr. Rickson. Uh, I believe that if we can get, which I think I've almost definitely got Matthew McConaughey to play.

• 32:54Speaker 00

  You've got Matthew McConaughey agreeing to play Matt Tracker?

• 32:57Speaker 01

  I sent Matthew McConaughey an email and he hasn't refused the part. I got his email from a friend of mine.

• 33:01Speaker 00

  And he hasn't refused the part?

• 33:03Speaker 01

  I've got an email from a friend of mine who's very interested in playing another part.

• 33:08Speaker 00

  Who's that friend and what's the part?

• 33:12Speaker 00

  Because.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  So, I don't know if you're aware.

• 33:16Speaker 00

  Did you email yourself saying I'm willing to play Miles Mayhem?

• 33:18Speaker 01

  No, I think you might know him from some of his comedy work over in a whole place we call the United Kingdom. Mr. Romesh Ranganathan is very interested in playing the part of T-Bob.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  So it will be, it'll be, he'll be, he's the comedy.

• 33:36Speaker 00

  So T-Bob is like the little leg shaped robot?

• 33:38Speaker 01

  Yes, who's like the comedy.

• 33:39Speaker 00

  How would Romesh Ranganathan play? Is that, is he just doing the voice?

• 33:41Speaker 01

  He's doing the voice, but we'd probably put him in the robot for a laugh.

• 33:43Speaker 00

  You'd put him in the robot?

• 33:44Speaker 01

  For a laugh.

• 33:45Speaker 00

  But it's that high, isn't it?

• 33:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, he'd squeeze in, um.

• 33:48Speaker 00

  But it doesn't feel necessary.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, but what I'm saying, this is T-Bob here, um.

• 33:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, I know, I know, I know Mask. Yeah, it's, it's, I, we used to call it in my house, the unfilmable cartoon.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, that's where you're wrong, because I've got some of the best people in the business.

• 34:03Speaker 00

  Who have you got?

• 34:04Speaker 01

  Um, Chloe Simmons.

• 34:07Speaker 00

  What's Chloe gonna do?

• 34:08Speaker 01

  Uh, Chloe's great for making cars into other things, so.

• 34:11Speaker 00

  That's her specialism?

• 34:13Speaker 01

  Yep, and.

• 34:14Speaker 00

  Her specialism is making cars into other things?

• 34:17Speaker 01

  She's like a converter. She convert, converted her, um, minivan into a house, so she is.

• 34:23Speaker 00

  That, that's, that, that sounds to me like somebody whose circumstances have led them to live in their minivan.

• 34:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, but also she's learnt a long, lot along the way, so she could, so I basically showed her a mood board, which is what we show different people pictures to go, oh, look.

• 34:37Speaker 00

  I know what a mood board is, thank you.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  And she was like, oh, I can do that. I went, okay, Chloe Simmons, you're hired. So Chloe Simmons is on board.

• 34:43Speaker 00

  Have you seen any evidence apart from the minivan that she is able to do that?

• 34:46Speaker 01

  The minivan was enough for me to guarantee her the job.

• 34:49Speaker 00

  Okay, but you're not putting any money in, are you? You're asking me for.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, but I'm writing the script, so it's sort of fifty fifty, you're the money.

• 34:56Speaker 00

  You are fifty fifty with who?

• 34:57Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, you, if you put the money in, it's my idea and my humour, uh, and my script and you, I then put the money in. So that's sort of where brains meets cash.

• 35:09Speaker 00

  Well, they don't make that, you, you couldn't even do it with your fingers.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  Like that, so you've got, that's your end, that's mine.

• 35:16Speaker 00

  Right, okay.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  So, yeah. So it's a very exciting prospect, um, uh, I'm happy to give you fifty percent of the, uh.

• 35:23Speaker 00

  You're happy to give me fifty percent of the?

• 35:25Speaker 01

  We will need to go and get the IP, which is.

• 35:27Speaker 00

  Okay, so I, I'd assumed that when you were coming in to pitch for the money, that you had, you'd, you'd got some IP, but what you have got is the confirmation that someone in a minivan is willing to be involved.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  And also the Romesh Ranganathan, Matthew McConaughey link.

• 35:42Speaker 00

  Okay, two things. First of all, one, I don't believe you've got Matthew McConaughey, and two, is there something that Romesh Ranganathan has said no to in the last decade?

• 35:50Speaker 01

  That's actually the funniest thing you've said for a while, but to Rickson. But Romesh Ranganathan is someone that everyone admires and likes, that's why he's in so much stuff.

• 35:58Speaker 00

  Not in movies.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Well.

• 36:01Speaker 00

  I mean, I'd say you're a bigger film star than Romesh Ranganathan.

• 36:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I'm directing it and writing it, I wouldn't be able to be in it, and unless I've sort of probably played like one of the bad guys for a little couple of scenes.

• 36:11Speaker 00

  Miles Mayhem?

• 36:12Speaker 01

  No, no, no, we've got someone very interesting for Miles Mayhem. Mayhem.

• 36:16Speaker 00

  It's Mayhem.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  Yes, Al Murray.

• 36:19Speaker 00

  Al Murray is going to play Miles Mayhem?

• 36:21Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 36:22Speaker 00

  As in the pub landlord?

• 36:23Speaker 01

  Uh, he's trying to get away from that, right, and I think this would be bad.

• 36:26Speaker 00

  I don't think this is the route away from it.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  So Al Murray is definitely in, um.

• 36:32Speaker 00

  Al Murray?

• 36:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:33Speaker 00

  Romesh Ranganathan, Matthew McConaughey, and Chloe who lives in her minivan.

• 36:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, she's not in the film.

• 36:40Speaker 00

  No.

• 36:40Speaker 01

  She's just making the cars into.

• 36:42Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 36:42Speaker 01

  Spaceships and stuff.

• 36:43Speaker 00

  Yeah. I, I've watched Mask, none of the cars turn into spaceships. Do you know the IP?

• 36:48Speaker 01

  So, so then we've got Boulder Hill, that'll be, we'll probably need to use one of your properties for that, so, but it's really.

• 36:54Speaker 00

  Well, I don't have a property that looks like Boulder Hill.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Would you like my associate, John Monster, to send over some of the little sort of mockups that we've made from the figures? We've basically brought all the figures and then we've done some mockups of scenes.

• 37:08Speaker 00

  Well, that sounds to me like you and John have been playing with action figures. I don't know, I, I don't know what that.

• 37:14Speaker 01

  Well, this is how this all started. We're playing with action figures, uh, John had had a couple of drinks, as he does, he's going through a bit of a tough time at the moment.

• 37:21Speaker 00

  Is he still into feet?

• 37:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, he is, and John just sort of lay on his back, um, laughing because I'd said something funny, as is my way, Mr. Rickson, and, uh,

• 37:31Speaker 01

  and John went, this would make an incredible movie. I lay next to John.

• 37:35Speaker 00

  Were you high? I did, that, that, this has no bearing on.

• 37:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, we had both been smoking quite a lot.

• 37:39Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  And we'd lay next to each other, and I was like, wow, this would make a good movie, and then we just started talking about scenes, and that's.

• 37:46Speaker 00

  When you, when you said this would make a good movie?

• 37:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:48Speaker 00

  Did you mean Mask or two guys who'd been playing with action figures that would had a joint and were lying next to each other on the floor?

• 37:55Speaker 01

  To be fair, both of them make good movies, but Chloe Simmons.

• 37:57Speaker 00

  Because I'll be honest with you, as a movie idea, I think I prefer that.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  If you prefer that.

• 38:02Speaker 00

  Two guys, the, the, two guys that have both got an interest in action figures, they find each other.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:08Speaker 00

  Because it's sort of socially unacceptable.

• 38:09Speaker 01

  Let's do that one then, I'd say.

• 38:11Speaker 00

  Well, I don't need you for that, that's my idea.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  Well, me and John are the main characters. You've based it off our lives.

• 38:17Speaker 00

  You and John are not going to, I'm not gonna get the two fucking losers at the inspiration for it, to play the characters.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  Would you want Romesh or Matthew McConaughey to play either of those characters?

• 38:25Speaker 00

  I don't want either of those.

• 38:26Speaker 01

  Really?

• 38:26Speaker 00

  Well, Matthew, yes, Romesh, I think.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  Al Murray's dying to do something.

• 38:29Speaker 00

  Al Murray.

• 38:32Speaker 00

  And scene.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:34Speaker 00

  Okay, you didn't really pitch a story line, did you?

• 38:36Speaker 01

  No.

• 38:36Speaker 00

  I, I.

• 38:37Speaker 01

  If I'm honest with you, what happened there is, as sort of the eyes of Steve Rickson, by the way, a formidable person to be in front of, uh, started bearing down on me, I completely forgot, I, I remembered like three characters' names, and I couldn't remember a lot of what actually, actually happened.

• 38:51Speaker 00

  I thought, oh, you remember Boulder Hill, which.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:56Speaker 00

  So the reason I said about it being, not being a great film is because Transformers.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:00Speaker 00

  Right? Robots in disguise.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:03Speaker 00

  Okay, you buy it in the cartoon. When you watch the film, you sort, you, it, it sort of occurs to you more than ever before, these are massive robots, who are they disguising themselves from? What, what, what, what the fuck's going on?

• 39:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, but they made like twenty Transformers movies now.

• 39:21Speaker 00

  I know, but what I'm saying is it doesn't make sense, it doesn't hold up to any screening.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  Do you miss like the innocence of that animation up against the CGI?

• 39:28Speaker 00

  Look, we, we, I could do a whole series of podcasts about what my issues are with the Michael Bay films, Transformers.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  Really?

• 39:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:35Speaker 01

  Well, this stuff needs more content.

• 39:36Speaker 00

  Well, first of all, none of the fighting scenes are any good at all.

• 39:41Speaker 01

  Wow, imagine if Michael Bay was here.

• 39:42Speaker 00

  There's not a single fight scene in any, oh, no, that's not fair.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  How many of them did Bay do?

• 39:47Speaker 00

  How many have there been, like five or something?

• 39:48Speaker 01

  There've been seven, I think, Transformers, seven.

• 39:52Speaker 00

  I've not watched all of them, so actually what, my statement there was ill-informed. The, the, I watched, I re-watched Transformers, the first film with the, with my youngest.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:01Speaker 00

  The shots of Megan Fox are unethical.

• 40:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:06Speaker 00

  It's insane. There's a bit where they're trying to break female stereotypes by making her be really good with cars, but they also have to have a, give, even when they're doing that, they give with one hand and take away with the other because she's got to also, her dad's really into mechanics or whatever, it's like. Just watching my dad, got to take apart a transmission and put it back together by the time I was four or some shit like that. Then she's looking at the car and then the camera just pans down her torso. It's fucking wild.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:36Speaker 00

  There's more shots of Megan Fox's body than there are of any of the fucking Transformers.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  I feel a bit sorry for Megan Fox.

• 40:41Speaker 00

  Because of, she's, she was together with MGK?

• 40:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, a bit of that, and I just always think that she's really struggling to find her place in the world. I think she always feels to me a bit lost.

• 40:51Speaker 01

  You know, whenever you're.

• 40:52Speaker 00

  In what way?

• 40:52Speaker 01

  I don't know, I just always feel like it's sort of a sadness about her. You know, in the same way that you do with certain people, you just go, you know, poor old Megan Fox. She should have it all. I mean, it's what we're talking about, earlier about the pursuit of happiness.

• 41:05Speaker 00

  Well, the whole, where this whole episode started is what is all, Tom?

• 41:08Speaker 01

  She was, just feels like Hollywood's not been kind to her.

• 41:11Speaker 00

  Right.

• 41:12Speaker 01

  I always feel, I don't know, I don't.

• 41:13Speaker 00

  Almost a victim of her beauty.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Her beauty, yeah, yeah, and her early success. I just always feel like whenever I, I think she's, she's gone out with some dodgy characters who've, who've not treated her particularly well.

• 41:25Speaker 00

  Do, do you know all this or are you speculating?

• 41:27Speaker 01

  I'm fully speculating, it's a bit of me hypothesising.

• 41:29Speaker 00

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 41:30Speaker 01

  But I just always think, oh, you know, poor, poor old Megan.

• 41:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  I know, there's people who've got it harder than Megan Fox.

• 41:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, absolutely, the guys in the park.

• 41:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, it would be bleak if you saw Megan Fox living in the park.

• 41:44Speaker 00

  Yeah. Anyway, that feels like a good way to close the app.

• 41:50Speaker 00

  Tom, could you give us a closer that involves Megan Fox, a park, and?

• 41:58Speaker 00

  Squirrels.

• 41:59Speaker 01

  Hmm. Life had been tough for old Megan Fox. One day she'd been the belle of the ball. Megan, more popcorn? Ha, I've eaten enough popcorn, thanks. You can have all the popcorn you like. You're a star of Hollywood, kid. Stars fade as the night draws to day.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  Before you know it, the mansion that you walk around in, surrounded by well doers and good gifters, has become somewhat empty. The checks that you cash so frequently, the money that will fall into your account, almost feels like nothing. Where's the happiness, Megan? Where's the happiness? Megan searched high and low for this. Sometimes in bars, frequented them with friends, rappers, singers, fellow actors, sports people. But still never really finding her place. And one summerless morning, Megan awoke and took a walk. She found herself at a park. Nay, not a big flashy park, just a little normal park,

• 43:03Speaker 01

  some trees, a slide, some swings. Megan sat on the swings and rode them up and down like you do swings. Then she went on the slide. And she looked over to the trees and saw some scampering. She sprinted over as quick as she could. And to surprise, there was a family of squirrels there, eating nuts and laughing, chasing each other. Simple, really. It's that moment that Megan thought, God, wow. By gosh, I've really made my life more complicated than it should be. She stroked on a squirrel's head who came over to her. The squirrel looked her in the eye and said, Give yourself a break, Megan.

• 43:49Speaker 01

  And that moment is exactly what Megan did. She gave herself a break. She went to another park and another park. And before you know it, she'd become addicted to being in parks.

• 44:03Speaker 01

  And the stress kind of melted away. Because sometimes when you're looking for something to do and that thing's got to be big and grand, like a new film or writing a book or maybe making an album because someone you know has made an album, that can be intense. But when all you've really got to do is find a park, some swings, a slide, and if you're lucky, some squirrels with a bit of advice. Well, friend, that becomes a little bit more simple.

• 44:28Speaker 00

  Thank you so much, Tom. Really nice.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 44:31Speaker 00

  Really nice. What do you think of these three subject challenges?

• 44:33Speaker 01

  I'm really enjoying it a lot more.

• 44:34Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  I think the audience, that our listeners should send in.

• 44:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, okay.

• 44:40Speaker 01

  They're completely random.

• 44:41Speaker 00

  Thanks for listening.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  Thank you, friends.

• 44:42Speaker 00

  And watching the Wolf and I podcast. Uh, we'll see you next time. Emails to [email protected] and we'll see you on Friday's episode.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Keep nice and keep sweet.

• 44:53Speaker 00

  It's a bit creepy.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola for everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you. Hey, Bose here. On your next track, listen for the decisions. Distortion on the bass, the vocal right up front. Every choice deliberate. With Bose, you'll hear it all. Your music deserves Bose.