Monty Franklin

Santino's down under! This episode was recorded on the road in the land of wallabys and kangas with Monty Franklin mate! ENJOY! Monty Franklin: Aussie comedian Monty Franklin brings a laid-back charm and razor-sharp wit to stages worldwide. Whether he's riffing on kangaroos, California, or the quirks of life down under, Monty’s hilarious storytelling and infectious energy make him an unforgettable act. Catch his laughs on stage, screen, or streaming—he’s everywhere you want comedy to be. #montyfranklin #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast #youmadeitweird ============================================ Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS SQUARESPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey BETTER HELP 10% OFF YOUR 1ST MONTH https://betterhelp.com/whiskey ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:44Speaker 00

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• 1:03Andrew Santino?

  What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. Leave a comment down below for the Algo Rhythm. Let people know. I'm down under and my guest is Monty Franklin, a Australian comedian who's been masquerading as one of us living in the United States for a while. He's great, though. And I'm still down under right now. I'm taking some time down. And next up is Singapore. If you're in Singapore, come see me and Bobby Lee. We're doing one show in Singapore. One show only.

• 1:34Andrew Santino?

  And go to BadFriendsPod.com. BadFriendsPod.com. Then I return to the United States of America, the good old US of A, where I go to New Orleans. New Orleans. San Antonio, and then it's Krimis. Krimis and Kwanzaa. Then I go Chicago Theater, Durham, Atlanta, Charleston, Philly, New York, Phoenix, San Francisco, we added a show. San Diego, we added a show. Boston, we added a show. And Minneapolis, we added another show. Go to AndrewSantino.com. Thank you, guys, for all your love. I appreciate you. Come out and see your boy. AndrewSantino.com.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 2:12Speaker 03

  You're that creature in the ginger beard! It's sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey.

• 2:30Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I'm in once again today. We are down under with Monty fucking Franklin, mate.

• 2:40Speaker 04

  Down under.

• 2:40Andrew Santino?

  Does that sound good? My accent's not bad.

• 2:43Speaker 04

  It's actually pretty good. When you did it on stage last night, I was like, alright, it's pretty good. You and Rob Schneider do a pretty good Australian accent.

• 2:49Andrew Santino?

  You're comparing me to Schneider?

• 2:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, you know, you're in the same category.

• 2:52Andrew Santino?

  You think me and Rob Schneider have the same accent ability?

• 2:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, you and one of the greatest comedic actors of all time, Rob Schneider, have a good Australian accent.

• 3:01Andrew Santino?

  Alright. I just, alright. I like Rob, I'm just saying, you know, I've been working on it a lot, you know?

• 3:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:09Andrew Santino?

  That's fine, no big deal. You come right on the show and you insult me right away and say that I'm not good enough.

• 3:14Speaker 04

  I thought it was-

• 3:15Andrew Santino?

  I'm not good enough for you.

• 3:16Speaker 04

  I thought it was a compliment.

• 3:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I guess that's true. Kind of. But we don't want to be compared to anybody. Do you want to be compared to people?

• 3:23Speaker 04

  Sometimes.

• 3:24Andrew Santino?

  Who? Who do you want to be compared to?

• 3:25Speaker 04

  Michael Jordan.

• 3:26Andrew Santino?

  You never will.

• 3:27Speaker 04

  I want you to see me play ball and you go, you know what? You know who you remind me of?

• 3:30Andrew Santino?

  You're Michael Jordan. What are you doing over there? McConaughey is testing a little bit of white balance. We're in my hotel room here.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  Why is there a yellow stain on it and a bit hard?

• 3:41Andrew Santino?

  Uh, that came like that when I got to the room.

• 3:44Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, no, these hotels come with those towels. You're right.

• 3:46Andrew Santino?

  We're broadcasting live from Australia with my boy Monty Franklin down in Sydney right now. We're doing a five-city tour here in Australia. You were nice enough to do a spot for us last night in the ICC Theatre. How was that?

• 4:02Speaker 04

  You were nice enough to give me the spot. The place is unreal.

• 4:05Andrew Santino?

  Pretty cool.

• 4:06Speaker 04

  It's what? It's an 8,000-seat venue. Doesn't it feel like it's like a perfect sort of 300, 400-seater?

• 4:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I don't know about 400, but it feels, it doesn't feel like 8,000.

• 4:15Speaker 04

  It doesn't, it doesn't feel like a chasm of a thing.

• 4:17Andrew Santino?

  It is pretty impressive to see. The one thing I'll note is, and you're not from Sydney, you're a Melbourne guy.

• 4:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, but what you'll find about Australia, and people get upset when I say this, is Australia is just Australia. If you're from Australia, you're from Australia. Americans love to say, oh, I'm from Chicago, or I'm from Boston. You guys are very town-specific. But if we go overseas anywhere, we're really, first and foremost, we're just Australians everywhere. Except when you go to Western Australia in Perth, and they will want to distance themselves from the eastern side of the country. You'll see.

• 4:46Andrew Santino?

  They've done a good job. It's, it's like 4,000 miles away.

• 4:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, Perth's the most secluded capital city on earth.

• 4:53Andrew Santino?

  It's kind of, I can't wait to go, I do want to go over there. I am excited for that. I know you, what you're saying though. We differentiate because, uh, Boston to Miami is dramatically different kinds of people.

• 5:03Speaker 04

  Uh, it's amazing.

• 5:05Andrew Santino?

  Have, yeah, it's all whites. It's mostly all whites.

• 5:09Speaker 04

  It's mostly, yeah. Well, look, they're, yeah, all right, yes.

• 5:14Speaker 04

  I was gonna try and defend us, and then I just went, no, you know what?

• 5:17Andrew Santino?

  I noticed that last night. We talked about it. Doing like, for lack of a better word, racial comedy or ra, or like, uh, racial jokes. They get a little, they get a little tight.

• 5:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:31Andrew Santino?

  A little tight, which is funny because, and we said this, this was the, my breakdown of it. Because there's not enough, um, because you're not imbued with so many other cultures, the way that America is, you know? Like, look, there's a lot of Asians down here, and there's a lot of indigenous, right?

• 5:49Speaker 04

  Look, there's not a lot of indigenous, not as many as like African-Americans in, uh, America that are sort of.

• 5:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:55Speaker 04

  So.

• 5:56Andrew Santino?

  But you guys don't have that culture.

• 5:57Speaker 04

  We have a definite different, uh, historical racial history in this country. So when you, you talked about it last night, and the kind of, um, integration of black and white and the way that we bounce off jokes with each other and give each other's culture shit and stuff like that in America, that doesn't exist here.

• 6:14Andrew Santino?

  I know, it's so weird.

• 6:15Speaker 04

  But what we do have that with is kind of with, um, Italians and stuff like that. And like, yeah, we call them, uh. Wogs and they'll call us uh skip skip was a kangaroo uh TV show when we grew up so that's what the wogs will call the Australians.

• 6:30Andrew Santino?

  What's a wog?

• 6:30Speaker 04

  A wog is an Italian, a Greek, um.

• 6:33Andrew Santino?

  What is the acronym stand for?

• 6:35Speaker 04

  Uh, phew. You know what? I tried to look that up once and now I forgot what it is.

• 6:38Andrew Santino?

  Cause you know in America, if you call an Italian a WOP, W O P, it stands for without papers. That's the.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  That's what I thought it was, but wog, uh, and look, it's not a derogatory term. Wogs will call themselves.

• 6:51Andrew Santino?

  So that's not an insult?

• 6:53Speaker 04

  Uh, no.

• 6:54Andrew Santino?

  What does wog stand for? He's gonna Google it right now. The kid's on it.

• 6:58Speaker 04

  No.

• 6:58Speaker 05

  Wog is a racial slur used for in British English to black and South Asian people and in Australia and in Australian English to people from the Mediterranean region.

• 7:09Andrew Santino?

  What does the acronym stand for? So it is racial. It's racially charged.

• 7:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it doesn't have the same connotations like uh Italian comedians I know do a big show called uh the Woggy Christmas and uh there's a movie called The Wog Boy. Like they call each other.

• 7:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but it's kinda like how if a black guy says the N word on an album.

• 7:26Speaker 04

  No, it's definitely not inward. Not even in the close realm.

• 7:30Andrew Santino?

  That thing is so squeaky and loud.

• 7:31Speaker 04

  I've just said it like, I've just said it like four times on your podcast. I'm not gonna say it if it's

• 7:35Andrew Santino?

  Well, alright.

• 7:35Speaker 04

  Close to that.

• 7:36Andrew Santino?

  Whatever, man. My ancestors will be pissed about it.

• 7:40Andrew Santino?

  It's unclear.

• 7:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:50Andrew Santino?

  Here's the deal. The fact that you don't know makes it immediately racist. Like you guys don't even fucking know. If you don't even know what it means, then clearly something's afoot.

• 7:58Speaker 04

  No, because we're so like cavalier with it and I'm said such a friendly thing that I didn't need to look into it and go, well, let's make sure this is okay.

• 8:05Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 8:05Speaker 04

  I just knew that it was alright.

• 8:07Andrew Santino?

  I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. Well, it's funny because WOP like I'm Italian, but if somebody said WOP in this, you know what it is? Racial epithets are only good for the time that they're, that they really like sting somebody. Not all of them, but like WOP, if you called an Italian a WOP today, they're not even, it's not gonna hit the same.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  No.

• 8:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, sixty years ago.

• 8:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:29Andrew Santino?

  It might've been like, ah, yeah, WAP and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they might've started a fight.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:33Andrew Santino?

  If you said that to any member of my dad's side of my family, they'd be like, what?

• 8:36Speaker 04

  They're like, what?

• 8:36Andrew Santino?

  It's so outdated. It's not even like an insult anymore.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:39Andrew Santino?

  It is interesting, but so wog is your uh. Wog is your all encompassing, non racial racial identifier, but it's not racist.

• 8:48Speaker 04

  I don't think so. Phone in if I'm wrong.

• 8:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, leave it in the comments below. It's mostly Americans. They don't know the difference.

• 8:54Speaker 04

  Everyone just, that this guy's an idiot.

• 8:55Andrew Santino?

  But I did like to see the, I did like to see how racial jokes played, um, out here. It was kind of wild to watch. Because I do know that the last time I was down in Australia, I did a show in Melbourne at that comic, um, lounge.

• 9:09Speaker 04

  Comic lounge, yeah.

• 9:10Andrew Santino?

  And it was this kind of the same vibe where there was like, I, we talked about this last night that like, people go, oh, do you, do you change your jokes? No, I, I don't change my material no matter where I go. I don't care. It's gonna be the same. It's funny everywhere.

• 9:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:23Andrew Santino?

  But there are certain references that we talked about last night. That's like, they just don't know what that is.

• 9:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they give you the benefit of the doubt and they think for a second in your head and then they put it together and they go, oh, I see what that is.

• 9:33Andrew Santino?

  They give you a little bit of love, but it just, the ref, the references are gone. So they're like, I don't even know what that means, but I think I know what it means. Like, well, you did a joke last night and I shouldn't, I don't want to do any of your jokes.

• 9:43Speaker 04

  I don't want to do any of my jokes.

• 9:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, trust me. I wouldn't either. But I, no, but you did one about happy birthday.

• 9:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:49Andrew Santino?

  And, uh, that's so funny because that, that would do well in both America and Australia. It does much better here because

• 9:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:57Andrew Santino?

  They grew, yeah, but it's still funny there. Do you know what I mean?

• 10:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:00Andrew Santino?

  We just don't have, the hook isn't as strong because for Americans, because we don't know how much that meant to you at singing happy birthday and the way you do it differently here.

• 10:09Speaker 04

  But I've found that with comedy over the last 20 years, working in the industry, for instance, I know Chris Rock is a legend. I know his comedy's unreal.

• 10:18Andrew Santino?

  But you hate that he's black. Just say it. Just say it. No, just say it, dude.

• 10:21Speaker 04

  He's a wog. What?

• 10:21Andrew Santino?

  He's a wog. Oh my God, he did it again.

• 10:23Speaker 04

  Oh my God, I said it.

• 10:24Andrew Santino?

  Number one, he's a legend and what?

• 10:25Speaker 04

  Uh, but he's, I, the, the jokes don't hit me at the same way that they hit you.

• 10:31Andrew Santino?

  Dude, I thought about that too.

• 10:32Speaker 04

  So the, um, uh, you know, the, the whole, uh, bring back the pain. That was his one, was it?

• 10:38Andrew Santino?

  Bring the pain.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  Bring the pain.

• 10:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 10:39Speaker 04

  Uh, I remember sitting there going-

• 10:41Andrew Santino?

  It's like a polite Australian way. Bring back the pain.

• 10:42Speaker 04

  Bring, bring back the pain if you could. Oh, that pain was all right. I'll have some more of the, I'll have some more of the-

• 10:48Andrew Santino?

  Bring the pain. Bring the pain.

• 10:50Speaker 04

  I remember watching it thinking, this is great.

• 10:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 10:53Speaker 04

  I get the, this is awesome, but it wasn't hitting me like the same way that it would hit, uh, an American who grew up in that culture.

• 10:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it just doesn't have the, I think, I, I thought about that, um, when we were talking the other night about like, Ameri, great American comedians. And I was like, I wonder- Especially someone like Chappelle or guys that are kind of polarizing in their approach in a great way where they talk about stuff that's so like inherently American issues.

• 11:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:19Andrew Santino?

  I wonder if that even, how it lands here, you know?

• 11:23Speaker 04

  It lands in the way that we want to be part of that conversation and feel like we do, but we don't know it on the same level that you do.

• 11:31Andrew Santino?

  Right, you didn't grow up, you didn't see it growing up.

• 11:33Speaker 04

  You didn't see it, so you didn't, you don't instantly relate your friend blah blah to the thing when, oh, cool, and you feel it at much deeper. We feel it on a, we're watching a movie and oh, this is America thing. I understand America. You don't, really, because you weren't there. You didn't grow up with it all around you, but we grew up with it on TV and stuff, so we know enough of it to relate, but not enough that it's, it's, you know, really ingrained in us and we're like, got it.

• 11:58Andrew Santino?

  It doesn't really do the thing for you. All right, what's your, by the way, you revealed yourself last night as a true American. I, of course, know you-

• 12:05Speaker 04

  Revealed myself on stage.

• 12:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, as a true American. Yeah, he pulled his penis out, like a true American. That's what we do when we come down. But you, you did something last night that I found is funny, because I've known you for, I don't know, I'd like to say, it's gotta be 10 years now, right? At least. And you've lived in LA for, or you've lived in America at least for long enough now where you've experienced both cultures so much that you kind of have a little bit of American in you. What's the thing you miss the most about Australian culture? And what's the thing you, you've found that you love the most about American culture that you're like, yeah, that's cool that they have that, we don't have it, and vice versa?

• 12:42Speaker 04

  There is a laid back nature here to people in general, and I think that's something-

• 12:49Andrew Santino?

  More so than Los Angeles, you think? You think they're more laid back than the laziness of LA?

• 12:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. There is. I like going into a random bakery here and there's a nice Australian, like, motherly woman there who's genuinely concerned about me. Like, she goes, what do you, and I go, I live in LA, and she goes, oh, you be careful over there. Like, actually cares about me. And that's a, that's a thing in Australia that I really, I do miss. I miss the culture of the people when they're caring for each other, because they can also be dickheads and turn on you pretty quick.

• 13:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was gonna say, we saw that a lot last night, too. A lot of dickheads.

• 13:26Speaker 04

  There's a lot of dickheads here.

• 13:27Andrew Santino?

  A lot of dickheads.

• 13:28Speaker 04

  There's dickheads everywhere around the world, but they were, there was a lot at your show.

• 13:32Andrew Santino?

  You guys are the most fun dickheads, though. I will say that. Australians are fucking fun. They don't take themselves that serious. They know how to take a joke, which I love.

• 13:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:42Andrew Santino?

  In America, a lot of times, people are quick to be offended is not the right word, but they're quick to be off-put.

• 13:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:48Andrew Santino?

  And you're like, let it go, dude. It's not real. It's all fake. This is all a joke.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  That's the laid back that I'm talking about.

• 13:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I like that a lot.

• 13:54Speaker 04

  Alright, mate, just, we're all here having fun. And there's a lot of that going on.

• 13:59Andrew Santino?

  Right. Alright, what's the thing you found in America that you're like, man, I do really like this, and we don't do that in Australia?

• 14:03Speaker 04

  I tell you what Americans do that is good, that we don't do here, is you will build an individual up and encourage them to succeed at the highest level they can. For instance, you will build up a Tom Brady. My god, he's the GOAT. You love to build up someone.

• 14:20Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 14:20Speaker 04

  Here, we cut people down. It's called tall poppy syndrome. So if you try and do something out of the grain, everyone goes, ah, look at this dickhead wearing a shirt that's not the same as all our other shirts.

• 14:30Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Or look at this dickhead trying to... So when I first started doing stand-up here, my mates all cut me down as opposed to being supportive. We were in our early twenties and no one's ever supportive in their early twenties of their friends.

• 14:43Andrew Santino?

  It's the exact same thing back home.

• 14:45Speaker 04

  Oh, it is? Oh, okay.

• 14:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:47Speaker 04

  Um, so, but I do like that Americans will encourage individuals and talk them up. Whereas here, you get shut down a lot. So unless you're Hugh Jackman, who's the king of the country, where everyone goes, it's Hugh, everyone else has to be the same.

• 15:04Andrew Santino?

  Well, how did he make it through then? How's he one of one?

• 15:06Speaker 04

  He's so good.

• 15:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but so many people, there's gotta be more talented people here.

• 15:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they've all gotta go over to America. You think about it, like, the talent that stays here can only be capped at so much. And then, yeah, put it this way, Margot Robbie couldn't get work here. She had to go to America to become Barbie.

• 15:24Andrew Santino?

  Margot Robbie, yeah. She's so good, too.

• 15:26Speaker 04

  She's so great.

• 15:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, she's so talented, and she's so beautiful.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  All the Australians that go over and have the opportunity to excel in fucking Disneyland, let's just, that's what America is. The whole of America is Disneyland for us. Like, you think, oh, my god, there's glitz and glam, and you do, and you go there and it's big, and everything's there. It's so cliche, but there is opportunity everywhere. I mean, shit, you can build a podcast and sell out bloody arenas.

• 15:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Well, we're entrepreneurs. We promote entrepreneurial. That is like the number one American thing is like... Hustling is what I love about that. I see that. I see it other places, but what does, what I do love is you go to a major metropolitan area, a big city.

• 16:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:08Andrew Santino?

  People are making money so many different ways.

• 16:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:10Andrew Santino?

  And it's kind of cool to watch.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:12Andrew Santino?

  No one has to do shit. Like, go to New York.

• 16:15Speaker 00

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• 16:50Andrew Santino?

  So many people are making money so many different ways. And it's a constant funneling of economy. And whether or not you like that, it depends on if you're a capitalist or not. But I think it's fucking great because people have the opportunity without having all of the resources to still make money. You don't have to be a brilliant person to make a lot of money in America. You don't even have to be fucking educated. You can find a way to make money in the slot that you're good at.

• 17:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:13Andrew Santino?

  That's what's kind of, that's what I find to be cool. Whenever I go to big cities in America, I'm always like, isn't this crazy? How many people are making money hustling a million different ways?

• 17:20Speaker 04

  I always think that. I look at stores and stuff and I'm like, there is so many different things. See, we don't have the population here. We've got the population of California and the whole country.

• 17:28Andrew Santino?

  No shit?

• 17:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. So.

• 17:30Andrew Santino?

  What, what's California is what, 29 million or something?

• 17:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, and that's what Australia is.

• 17:33Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 17:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. And so you think about it, and you've been here. There's Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane, and then Perth, and then there's nothing.

• 17:41Andrew Santino?

  You don't want to say Adelaide at all, huh?

• 17:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they're small. Their population's small.

• 17:44Andrew Santino?

  Shout out to Adelaide. You know I like you very much.

• 17:46Speaker 04

  I'm doing a show there next week.

• 17:48Andrew Santino?

  Killing your own show.

• 17:50Speaker 05

  Australia's population is 26 million.

• 17:52Speaker 04

  Oh, there you go.

• 17:53Speaker 05

  California, 38.9 million.

• 17:55Andrew Santino?

  We're 38. I thought we were only 30 million.

• 18:00Speaker 04

  There you go. So you think about, uh, if you were here and all you could do in America is just tour around California, which is actually kind of viable.

• 18:09Andrew Santino?

  You could actually do that.

• 18:09Speaker 04

  You could actually do that.

• 18:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 18:11Speaker 04

  But that is, uh, the cap of what you can do in this country. So if you're a comedian touring around, you got, you got a few major cities, whereas you could literally, uh, tour around Florida for the whole year and there is enough, uh, work to sustain 50 weeks of comedy.

• 18:27Andrew Santino?

  You could do it. I don't know if you'd want to do it forever. You'd probably want to spread your wings. But there's a guy, do you know, do you know who Bob Marley is? Do you know who that is? Not, not, yeah, man. Not that Bob Marley.

• 18:35Speaker 04

  No, I don't know who you're talking about. Yeah.

• 18:37Andrew Santino?

  Bob Marley, for people that don't know, is a very, very famous, uh, comedian in our world who's been around for, I don't know, 40 some odd years. I don't even know now. But he specifically only tours, from what I know, I could be being ignorant, but in the, in, in the, um, in the northeast part of the country, right? Like he stays around the New England, New York. He stays in the northeast and he is the king out there.

• 18:57Speaker 04

  There's a few who would do that. Would you say Dave Attell would do the same thing?

• 19:00Andrew Santino?

  No, Attell's everywhere, man.

• 19:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:01Andrew Santino?

  Attell's all over the place. Attell just bases out of New York and, and because the East Coast is so condensed, you can make a lot of money touring around just the East Coast, right? Like you can do, there's a million spots to get to that are easy, but because we live on the stupid West Coast like idiots, it takes us forever to get anywhere. So we don't, you can't, between California and the mid, middle of the, and the Midwest, you know, how many shows are in fucking Colorado and that's it.

• 19:26Speaker 04

  You do Colorado Springs and then.

• 19:27Andrew Santino?

  Can't do Montana, can't do the Dakotas.

• 19:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:30Andrew Santino?

  You know what I mean? Like there's not, not enough to sustain, but there's guys like Bob Marley who make, who just want to plant over there and they can do it. But I know what you mean. Every Australian I know, they all say the same thing. Um, is that once you've gotten some momentum here, you gotta get out. Like you have to go to America and

• 19:47Speaker 04

  If you want to do bigger things, otherwise you, uh, are comfortable here doing a, a nice radio show and you've got a, a little bit of a presence and a bit of money in the bank and you're, you're happy and content and, uh, and you do that.

• 20:00Andrew Santino?

  Nothing wrong with that.

• 20:00Speaker 04

  But if you've got aspirations, I've always wanted to make a movie. That's all I've ever wanted to do since I was a kid.

• 20:06Andrew Santino?

  You're making one. We talked about it. We're not going to give it away, but you're. Making one.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  I am. It's taken, you know, this long, but it took me, I had to go to America to do it on the scale that I wanted to do it and get the people involved that I want to do it. Like, you just can't do that from here. So.

• 20:19Andrew Santino?

  Isn't that the irony that I came down here to shoot a movie?

• 20:21Speaker 04

  I know.

• 20:22Andrew Santino?

  It's like you fucking, you make it in America only so you can leave to shoot movies everywhere else. Vancouver, Budapest, here. I fucking, I don't do anything in America anymore. I mean, that's a, that's a huge, that's a whole nother issue, but what's funny is, um, you know, like I found that everyone that I've met that has come from Australia. Oh, actually, side note. Do you guys claim Mel Gibson or no?

• 20:46Speaker 04

  Uh, I do.

• 20:46Andrew Santino?

  He is.

• 20:47Speaker 04

  I, I do. Well, he was born in America, but then raised in Australia.

• 20:51Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 20:51Speaker 04

  So, and if you look back at a film called Gallipoli, uh, he has a thick Australian accent in that and he's fantastic. Yeah.

• 20:58Andrew Santino?

  Do you know this movie? I gotta look this up. Gallipoli.

• 21:00Speaker 04

  Gallipoli. It's about, um.

• 21:01Andrew Santino?

  He's a young guy in this movie, obviously, like in.

• 21:03Speaker 04

  World War. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:04Andrew Santino?

  Twenties or something?

• 21:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's World War One and, um, it's about these two sprinters that, uh, go and work as, um, runners to relay messages on the battlefield, right? And so, uh, it's him and his mate and yeah, it's a obviously tragic war story and stuff, but he's full Australian in it.

• 21:24Andrew Santino?

  Outside of all the death and.

• 21:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, outside of the horrific death of nature.

• 21:27Andrew Santino?

  Other than that, it's a great film. Fantastic movie.

• 21:30Speaker 04

  Gibson in Gallipoli.

• 21:30Andrew Santino?

  Gallipoli. Yeah, we claimed Mel Gibson as ours until the, um.

• 21:34Speaker 04

  Incident.

• 21:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the, the, the, what was it? Sugar Tits? The Sugar Tits Jew Cop thing, whatever? Then we gave him back to you. We're like, no, no, he's Australian. Don't do that.

• 21:41Speaker 04

  Well, we did that a little bit with Russell Crowe too, cause he's, uh, he was born in New Zealand, but then raised here.

• 21:47Andrew Santino?

  Right. He lives here now.

• 21:48Speaker 04

  Uh, yes, yes.

• 21:49Andrew Santino?

  I went to his house.

• 21:50Speaker 04

  Did you really?

• 21:51Andrew Santino?

  Crazy story that we'll never tell. We know. We've actually told it on the podcast on Bad Friends a few times, but we've taken it out every time.

• 21:57Speaker 04

  Really?

• 21:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I don't need it. I don't need the bullshit.

• 22:00Speaker 04

  I don't need that in my life.

• 22:01Andrew Santino?

  Crazy, but a crazy, weird, wild night of like.

• 22:05Speaker 04

  You'll be telling me that afterwards, that's fine.

• 22:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, 100%. He's a polarizing guy, I will say that, like, that's not negative or positive. He is very much, you know, back in the day when someone would be like, a star walks in the room, you knew that that was a movie star or whatever?

• 22:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:17Andrew Santino?

  With him, it's, we walked into his room, in his house, and it's very clear that he is the puppet master. Like, it's all, you know what I mean?

• 22:26Speaker 04

  Really?

• 22:27Andrew Santino?

  Everything is his.

• 22:27Speaker 04

  Really?

• 22:28Andrew Santino?

  It's him, it's me, this is my party.

• 22:30Speaker 04

  Do you think to some degree, to have that level of Oscar, to have that level, like, again, to Michael Jordan and stuff, you, you, you have to be that kind of person, perhaps?

• 22:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I mean, that is kind of always the, people say that all the time, is like, well, you gotta kind of be insane to like, get to the, the top. And to some degree, you do.

• 22:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:47Andrew Santino?

  Hold on one second. Someone knocking at the door?

• 22:49Speaker 04

  I don't know if that was his door.

• 22:50Andrew Santino?

  Joe, hold on and cut. Go answer and see who it is. That's funny. He's gonna record it, that's my favorite part. Watch this.

• 23:03Andrew Santino?

  Towels, we'll, we'll.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:07Andrew Santino?

  But can you come back in a li, in like, an hour? Thank you. He thinks we're shooting a fucking porno, I bet now. And by the way, we are. After this, I told you, you are sucking when this is over.

• 23:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:18Andrew Santino?

  No, but the, the, the, uh, the building up of these, like, monolithic people, I do think you do need to be, I wouldn't say you need to be like, it, it's the old cliche of like, you need to be depressed to be a good comedian. That's completely untrue.

• 23:29Speaker 04

  No, that is not true.

• 23:30Andrew Santino?

  That's a bullshit cliche.

• 23:31Speaker 04

  No.

• 23:31Andrew Santino?

  You need to have some sort of, um, uh, uh, you need to be, comedians are very intelligent, like, extremely intelligent. Like, I've met guys that I'm like, wow, this guy, you can tell that their brain works at the speed of light.

• 23:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:44Andrew Santino?

  Or, you're kind of a broken idiot, like us.

• 23:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:46Andrew Santino?

  You're a broken moron.

• 23:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:47Andrew Santino?

  You're one of the two, to be good. And so, you don't need to be like, you don't need to have trauma or so much pain in your life to be a good comic, but you need to have. You need to have a viewpoint on the world that comes from something kinda specific. Could be trauma, could be, could be brilliance. It could be, you know, a complete disconnect from reality. You feel like you're not like everyone else. So, yes, to be the best at something, you must be a little different. You can't be a run-of-the-mill person.

• 24:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:14Andrew Santino?

  And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying, you can't be like a normal archetype in society and excel at whatever you're doing because that wouldn't make any sense. You'd have to be a little bit more unique than everybody. Doesn't mean it's better, because by the way.

• 24:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:26Andrew Santino?

  Usually it's a curse.

• 24:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:27Andrew Santino?

  Right? You look at someone like Hunter S. Thompson.

• 24:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:29Andrew Santino?

  Who's a fucking genius, but what a broken brain.

• 24:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:32Andrew Santino?

  And he was brilliant. He saw the world in this really distorted lens, showed it to everybody, and then we were like, "You're the man." And he was like, "I'm dying on the, like, I'm..."

• 24:41Speaker 04

  Most artists are like that, that are struggling and they've got, and then we have their art in museums everywhere, marveling at it, and they were terribly fucked up people.

• 24:50Andrew Santino?

  Well, 100%, and you don't need to be like shattered, but I do think you need to be, you need to be off-kilter. You're definitely not normal. And that's okay. Like, you're not normal. I'm not nor, we're not normal. That's fine. We do normal shit.

• 25:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:03Andrew Santino?

  I went to the gym, I get a coffee. Like, I do normal stuff, but the way that this thing works and the way you, the way we think doesn't make us superior, just, we're diff, we're weird. It's, we're a little off.

• 25:13Speaker 04

  But that's why it's really...

• 25:14Andrew Santino?

  We said the thing when we were a kid that our parents were like, "Why would you say that?"

• 25:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then we, when you get to this level and you start meeting other people like that, and the conversations that we can have in the green rooms.

• 25:26Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 25:26Speaker 04

  That is a very different conversation than you can have with any of your funny friends, too.

• 25:31Andrew Santino?

  Right, yeah, you, yeah, it's different.

• 25:32Speaker 04

  You can't. They just, they're not, I was talking about it with someone, and it's almost like playing tennis. And you're playing tennis against one of your very funny friends, right? But they're just, they're a different level, and you have to lower your game so that you have a good game with them, right?

• 25:46Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 25:46Speaker 04

  But then when you get to hang out with, you know...

• 25:49Andrew Santino?

  With another pro.

• 25:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, or Theo Von's here or something, suddenly your game's lifted, and you're like, "Oh, shit, I'm playing tennis, come on."

• 25:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's right. You're playing pickleball with your funny friends, you're playing tennis with us.

• 25:58Speaker 04

  You're playing tennis.

• 25:59Andrew Santino?

  By the way, you don't do this. Do you do pickleball? This has swept the world.

• 26:02Speaker 04

  Nah, nah, nah.

• 26:03Andrew Santino?

  I can't, I can't.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  No, I can't.

• 26:05Andrew Santino?

  I haven't even tried it, and then everyone's like, "You gotta try, you have to do it."

• 26:07Speaker 04

  I don't wanna try it in case I do turn into one of these pickleheads.

• 26:10Andrew Santino?

  You will, though.

• 26:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, probably. It'll probably be unreal.

• 26:13Andrew Santino?

  You'll be a pickleman in no time. I've, tennis, I'm fine with. Tennis, I can do, but I... I have no interest in that game because I, I don't know, the challenge of tennis is hard enough. I think tennis is extremely difficult to be good at. So even that is the challenge that I like. Cause I don't, I'm nowhere near being good at tennis, but I'm good enough to play, just play it.

• 26:33Speaker 04

  Me too, but you're like a pretty all around sports guy.

• 26:37Andrew Santino?

  I, yeah.

• 26:38Speaker 04

  You can do everything decently.

• 26:39Andrew Santino?

  Lucky that I was athletic my whole life. So like tennis to me is the one that is the hardest.

• 26:44Speaker 04

  Oh, it is?

• 26:44Andrew Santino?

  Well, because my instinct, I played baseball and golf.

• 26:47Speaker 00

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• 27:22Andrew Santino?

  So my instinct is to hit the fucking shit out of it.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 27:25Andrew Santino?

  You know what I mean? But tennis is so much finesse. So it's power and finesse.

• 27:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:29Andrew Santino?

  Which baseball and golf are too, but it does something about tennis. When you play a really good tennis player, it shakes your world how, how, how precise you have to be to be good at tennis. You're like, holy fuck, how did you get that over the net right to that spot?

• 27:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:44Andrew Santino?

  It's remarkable.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  It is good.

• 27:46Andrew Santino?

  When you play someone good at tennis, like I play a million guys, I played with pro golfers. I have friends that are pros.

• 27:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:51Andrew Santino?

  And it's impressive. Not like when I've watched a.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  Really?

• 27:55Andrew Santino?

  A ranked tennis player play.

• 27:56Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 27:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because the power and strength and, and the targeting of it, for some reason, because you can see it with golf. Someone hits a great golf shot on accident, an average idiot can hit a phenomenal golf shot on accident once in a while. You know how many people have holes and ones that are terrible at golf?

• 28:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 28:13Andrew Santino?

  I got a buddy whose dog shit, he has three. Do you know what I mean? Like it happens, it just can happen. In tennis, that's not a real thing. You can't be dog shit and hit a phenomenally perfect. You know, 75 miles an hour shot to one little corner. That's never gonna happen.

• 28:30Speaker 04

  That's interesting. I've always thought about 10 pin bowling that way. When I watch it and they're getting strike after strike, I'm like, this is good, but. By mistake, my mum can get a strike in bowling.

• 28:39Andrew Santino?

  Exactly.

• 28:40Speaker 04

  My mum would never in her life be able to shoot a three pointer in basketball, you know? She's just, if my mum would just like, never. But she could accidentally get a strike.

• 28:49Andrew Santino?

  That is true.

• 28:50Speaker 04

  So to watch them get struck after a strike, I'm like, this is good, but I think it's the same when I watch kite surfing. They're not doing enough.

• 28:58Andrew Santino?

  What did he just say? Jesus Christ.

• 29:01Speaker 04

  You don't know what I just said?

• 29:03Andrew Santino?

  Russell Cr- no, Mel Gibson. Jesus, get out of here.

• 29:07Speaker 04

  No, no, kite, kite.

• 29:09Andrew Santino?

  Kite surfing, thank you.

• 29:11Speaker 04

  Uh, the other one.

• 29:12Andrew Santino?

  No, kite surfing, what about it?

• 29:14Speaker 04

  Well, I look at it and it doesn't impress me enough to go, oh my God, this is incredible. I think you need to be jumping over like, um, uh, cruise ships, uh, on those things. Yeah, you do. You need to up it a bit.

• 29:23Andrew Santino?

  That's true.

• 29:24Speaker 04

  When I watch snowboarding, cause I don't snowboard and they're doing massive, I'm like, wow, that is incredible. But, uh, no one on a kite surfer yet, uh, have gone, oh my God, I can't believe they're doing that. You need to step it up.

• 29:35Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's cause you're also like, you're still tethered to a kite. So the freedom isn't there, right?

• 29:39Speaker 04

  You're still, you're still flying a kite.

• 29:41Andrew Santino?

  You're still flying a kite at the end of the day.

• 29:43Speaker 04

  Mary Poppins at heart.

• 29:45Andrew Santino?

  Put a lolly in your fucking mouth while you fly the, while you fly your kite surfing. Do you ski then? You don't snowboard, but you ski?

• 29:51Speaker 04

  No, no, no, I don't really like the snow. Uh, I've done snowboarding a couple of times, but I think I've got to a point in my life where I'm just pretending for my friends that I like it. I don't, don't need it.

• 30:02Andrew Santino?

  I love that.

• 30:02Speaker 04

  I don't need that.

• 30:03Andrew Santino?

  You drop, uh, uh, by the, by the time you reach 40, you start to go, I actually don't like doing that and I'm not gonna do it anymore.

• 30:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't need to fulfill you. We can go do something else, you're my mate, but I don't need to go to the mountain with you.

• 30:13Andrew Santino?

  Where does it snow in Australia? There is a couple of spots that it will snow.

• 30:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's a couple of spots. There's a closest to here is, oh, the Blue Mountains will get a bit of snow and stuff, but there's, um.

• 30:23Andrew Santino?

  Not enough to ski though.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, yeah, but oof, no. You know, like, uh, you know, when you go to Big Bear and it's the end of the season?

• 30:30Andrew Santino?

  It's wet.

• 30:30Speaker 04

  That's the best that we'll get.

• 30:32Andrew Santino?

  It's slushy.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  Yeah. But New Zealand's two hour flight and that's world class.

• 30:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's different, but that's way more south than here, right?

• 30:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I mean, a two hour flight to go ski, perfect conditions is probably worth it if you're gonna do it.

• 30:43Andrew Santino?

  That's kind of what most people do in America anyway, right? Like we.

• 30:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:46Andrew Santino?

  We can ski, you can drive in California, we can drive up to, uh.

• 30:50Speaker 04

  Well, Mammoth Mountain.

• 30:51Andrew Santino?

  To Mammoth, yeah.

• 30:52Speaker 04

  That's pretty good.

• 30:52Andrew Santino?

  But you'd rather just jump on a plane for an hour and 40 minutes and go to Colorado if you're really, or Utah. I mean, if you really want.

• 30:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:58Andrew Santino?

  You really want the fun. See, I love it. I fucking love it.

• 31:00Speaker 04

  You do what, snowboarding?

• 31:02Andrew Santino?

  I've done both. I mean, my whole, as a kid, the first thing I learned was snowboarding, oddly enough, because a bunch of my, you know, teenage friends.

• 31:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, right.

• 31:09Andrew Santino?

  Did it. And then I learned how to ski, but now I'm an old man. I probably should just ski, but I do love snowboarding.

• 31:16Speaker 04

  Was that when you first started, when you were a kid, was that when snowboarding first started too?

• 31:21Andrew Santino?

  Well, yeah, right. We're like the same, we're the same age. So like the popularity of snowboarding that like really, it was because of skateboard culture.

• 31:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, right.

• 31:27Andrew Santino?

  When I was a kid in the nineties, skateboarding lent itself so easily to snow, that every kid that skateboarded wanted to snowboard.

• 31:34Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 31:35Andrew Santino?

  Because it was also, it was very like anti-authority. It's against the ski world. And ski culture was like rich.

• 31:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:42Andrew Santino?

  You know, snooty, fucking Aspen.

• 31:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:44Andrew Santino?

  And snowboard felt like rats on the mountain. Like you, you were a rat in the street on a skateboard, you were a rat on the mountain with a board too.

• 31:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:50Andrew Santino?

  Even though, snowboarding is unbelievably expensive. I mean, it's a fucking ripoff.

• 31:55Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, it's ridiculous.

• 31:56Andrew Santino?

  The gear, the lift passes, the flight, the hotel.

• 31:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:58Andrew Santino?

  It's, it's all a ripoff. You have to have money to do it anyway.

• 32:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, that is a, that is an elite level sport.

• 32:04Andrew Santino?

  Where skateboarding is, was so cheap.

• 32:06Speaker 04

  No, you get a hundred dollar deck and you're, yeah, we all ratbag skaters here for sure when we were kids, but that lent into surfing as opposed to the snowboarding side of things.

• 32:13Andrew Santino?

  But also surfing, one, the board is expensive. After that, it's not expensive, but the board is expensive as shit.

• 32:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, but you gotta travel to surf. You can't, you can't really, uh, stay at your home break and, and, and just, uh, surf every day. You gotta spend money on trips. Yeah, you have to.

• 32:28Andrew Santino?

  Well, see, it's funny because like guys like Malibu guys that I know, there's a bunch of Malibu guys that are comics. They surf every morning and they've been doing it for, I don't know, seven, eight years since I've been hearing about it.

• 32:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're shit.

• 32:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wow. You hear that? Daniel Tosh?

• 32:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:42Andrew Santino?

  And all your friends?

• 32:42Speaker 04

  I'll, I'll surf, I'll surf.

• 32:44Andrew Santino?

  Daniel Tosh, Eddie Ift, listen up. Monty Franklin says you're shit.

• 32:47Speaker 04

  Eddie, Eddie, I'll surf, I've surfed with Eddie before.

• 32:50Andrew Santino?

  How about Tosh? Is Tosh good or no?

• 32:51Speaker 04

  Tosh is, uh, Tosh is all right, but he's still, he, he's.

• 32:54Andrew Santino?

  What about Lachlan Patterson? He's great?

• 32:56Speaker 04

  No.

• 32:57Andrew Santino?

  Whoa, I love this shit.

• 32:58Speaker 04

  I come from Australia, no.

• 33:00Andrew Santino?

  So you're better than all these guys?

• 33:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:02Andrew Santino?

  Whoa, I love this shit dude. I fuck it, because I don't surf, so I just hear them talk about it all the time and I have no connection to it.

• 33:10Speaker 04

  Here's the thing.

• 33:11Andrew Santino?

  Monty Franklin calling out the boys.

• 33:13Speaker 04

  I'm gonna get so much trouble for saying this.

• 33:15Andrew Santino?

  If you're better, you're better.

• 33:16Speaker 04

  California for surfing, you think, oh, California is where the surf is. California surf is shit. It is terribly shit.

• 33:22Andrew Santino?

  No, no, I think people that live in California know the surf is not that great.

• 33:25Speaker 04

  A lot of them, a lot of them think Malibu, for instance, is perfect, but it's tiny. The surf is this small, the waves are weak. If you really want to surf in America, you gotta go to Hawaii, which is, that's the best in the world. That's kink shit.

• 33:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's, that's, I've heard.

• 33:39Speaker 04

  That's, I'm not even gonna compare myself to anyone there.

• 33:42Andrew Santino?

  What about like Central, Central America? Have you ever been there?

• 33:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, I surfed in Nicaragua and around Costa Rica and stuff.

• 33:48Andrew Santino?

  Costa Rica is the shit.

• 33:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:49Andrew Santino?

  I went to, I went, I went down to Costa Rica and he showed me this, um, the guy who was showing us around showed me this area and I'm so dumb because my, my brain always forgets. But it, in translation, it means, um, uh, uh, Death Bay or not Death Bay or like, um, fuck, something like that, because all these tourists will come from all over the world and they think they can surf this shit. And even expert surfers are like, I'll, I'll fuck that shit up. And the locals are like, okay, okay.

• 34:18Speaker 04

  Really?

• 34:18Andrew Santino?

  Okay, because it's so, I guess the break is so fa, it's by, um, it's by, uh, Manuel Antonio. Do you know Manuel Antonio on the, on the west side?

• 34:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:28Andrew Santino?

  Uh, I, well, I'll look up the beach later, but the guy said the break is so quick and hard and the angle is so tough, you know? Coming off of the rocks, I guess?

• 34:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:37Andrew Santino?

  That people get fucked up real bad from it.

• 34:40Speaker 04

  Well, there's places here that are probably worse than that, in Sydney in particular.

• 34:44Andrew Santino?

  Danger wise.

• 34:45Speaker 04

  Danger wise. They are breaking onto like, uh, there's a place called, um, The Rocks here, I think it's called.

• 34:51Andrew Santino?

  Pretty literal.

• 34:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, quite literally, but I'll, I'll show you footage of this wave. It's, you're actually like, oh, I can't believe they're doing this.

• 34:58Andrew Santino?

  Right, foolish almost.

• 35:00Speaker 04

  Completely foolish.

• 35:01Andrew Santino?

  That's the one where they go out with the, um, with the wave runner and they tow you out on a wave runner?

• 35:05Speaker 04

  But guys paddle into it too.

• 35:06Andrew Santino?

  Fucking nuts.

• 35:07Speaker 04

  There's a group of guys here from Marubra that go and surf this spot and it's death. It is crazy that I wouldn't surf it.

• 35:14Andrew Santino?

  What do you do?

• 35:15Speaker 04

  I'm here talking myself up at a level, but there's most people that surf in Australia that are doing it properly are really very good surfers.

• 35:23Andrew Santino?

  What size waves do you do?

• 35:25Speaker 04

  Me?

• 35:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 35:26Speaker 04

  I like, you guys measure them differently, so I like about a four to six foot wave.

• 35:33Andrew Santino?

  Why do we measure differently? What does that mean?

• 35:34Speaker 04

  We in Australia and Hawaii both measure the waves from the back of the wave and most Californians and stuff will measure it from the front. So they say the face of the wave was 12 foot, the actual wave is four and a half foot and that's what it actually is.

• 35:49Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 35:50Speaker 04

  So it's kind of confusing sometimes, but the easiest way to say is like double overhead. So I like a wave that's about double overhead, yeah.

• 35:57Andrew Santino?

  So 12 feet, 12 foot?

• 35:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, but from behind the wave it'd probably be about six, so.

• 36:01Andrew Santino?

  Let's cut it in half.

• 36:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:02Andrew Santino?

  So it's just your regular height?

• 36:04Speaker 04

  Kind of, yeah.

• 36:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's so fucking confusing for no reason.

• 36:06Speaker 04

  It is a bit confusing for no reason.

• 36:07Andrew Santino?

  And why isn't it globally just accepted that it's one size?

• 36:10Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 36:10Andrew Santino?

  Like how would you, if you went to Central, if you go to Central America and you surf, do they say it your way or American way?

• 36:15Speaker 04

  They kind of say both. They'll say it's six foot, 10 foot face and stuff like that.

• 36:19Andrew Santino?

  10 foot face, right.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  Very annoying.

• 36:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, just fucking pick a side.

• 36:22Speaker 04

  Just pick a fucking wave size. But Hawaiians and Australians do the same, so that's kind of generally what it is. So if you're surfing, but then in surfing terms, if you say like a solid six foot, that means it's six, but there's eight, nine, 10ers coming through. But the baseline is six. So if anyone says to you it's a solid six foot out there, it's a big day.

• 36:43Andrew Santino?

  That's a good day.

• 36:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, and that's a little bit of shit yourself because oh fuck, here comes a 10 footer.

• 36:48Andrew Santino?

  What's the biggest freak out though is that you're gonna be, when you, the throw under, when you get crashed under, that sucks the most?

• 36:53Speaker 04

  No, that's not too bad. I think just normal shit goes through your head, like if the board smacks you in your head and you're unconscious and you drown or you're gonna hit the reef and.

• 37:03Andrew Santino?

  Normal shit dude, just regular ass shit.

• 37:06Speaker 04

  Regular shit.

• 37:07Andrew Santino?

  Knock myself unconscious, lose my teeth.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:09Andrew Santino?

  No teeth, you ever had tooth loss? Anybody you know? Knock out a tooth from the board?

• 37:13Speaker 04

  Uh, no.

• 37:14Andrew Santino?

  So I feel like that would be my fear is knocking out my fucking teeth.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  Really?

• 37:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, just because I.

• 37:18Speaker 04

  The vanity!

• 37:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, they're terrible already. I don't need them even fucking worse. I have shitty teeth. I don't need worse teeth than they already have. I'm at a basement level. I don't need to go subterranean with my mouth.

• 37:29Speaker 04

  You're a solid six.

• 37:30Andrew Santino?

  I've chipped up my teeth so much for so long. I'm a seven, but thank you.

• 37:34Speaker 04

  But I said solid. You didn't, that means.

• 37:36Andrew Santino?

  I know, I got the reference, but the tens are coming.

• 37:43Andrew Santino?

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• 38:27Andrew Santino?

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• 39:12Andrew Santino?

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• 39:39Andrew Santino?

  To do, Andrew, well, it's very, very simple.

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• 40:21Andrew Santino?

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• 41:06Andrew Santino?

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• 41:19Speaker 03

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• 41:57Andrew Santino?

  No, I've chipped up my teeth so much over the years in sports, so much. I've had, I have bonding on four of my teeth, you know, capped.

• 42:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. What sports are knocking your teeth out?

• 42:08Andrew Santino?

  Well, basketball. I played basketball my whole life and that was always-

• 42:10Speaker 04

  Basketball, what? Elbow in the face?

• 42:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, elbows, a lot of elbows when you're down under. I mean, I was aggressive. I loved to be down under. I, I, I love banging boards. I, I've, I thought it was so fun being in the gut of it all. Then you get older and you're like, I don't want to fucking catch a black eye. Like, it's just annoying.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  Wow, I never thought about basketball like that. I guess when you're gritty and gruff and doing it on the streets of New York, you're gonna get smacked in the, should I not have done that?

• 42:32Andrew Santino?

  Just the way you say it. Gritty, gruff, the streets of New York. Hardcore. Hardcore New York. No, you know what, you know what it really is? Basketball has had this bullshit attachment to like, not being a tough sport.

• 42:46Speaker 04

  Well, it's, they say it's not a contact sport.

• 42:48Andrew Santino?

  It's fucking insane. Go play it. Go play it with talented ball players.

• 42:51Speaker 04

  It's like water polo. You ever done that?

• 42:52Andrew Santino?

  They'll beat the shit out of you. They'll beat, same thing. They beat the shit out of you. Yeah.

• 42:56Speaker 04

  They beat the shit out of you.

• 42:57Andrew Santino?

  But any, any basketball that's at a high level, here's the problem. At street ball level, it's more aggressive because it's unhinged. They're not talented enough to control their bodies.

• 43:05Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 43:05Andrew Santino?

  So people more, you'll get way more injuries at amateur basketball because people don't know what the fuck they're doing.

• 43:10Speaker 04

  Right.

• 43:11Andrew Santino?

  Right? Like, I had a, I had a bruised vertebrae. I almost broke my neck when I was in high school. I fell on my neck. I went up for a rebound and a guy took out my legs because he was out of control.

• 43:21Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 43:21Andrew Santino?

  And I smashed on my, I landed on my neck and I got a severe concussion. I vomited and I lost my vision for a couple hours. It was fucking wild.

• 43:29Speaker 04

  Jeez.

• 43:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I almost broke my fucking neck. Also, my buddy, Tom, called my mom and he's like, uh, he's like, um, don't freak out. But Andrew's in the hospital and he threw up everywhere and there's blood. And my mom was like, don't freak out? What a shitty fuck.

• 43:44Speaker 04

  You're gonna start with, don't freak out.

• 43:46Andrew Santino?

  I didn't have the smartest friends when I was a kid, you know?

• 43:48Speaker 04

  Tom, you idiot.

• 43:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Tom, Tom, Tommy. Anyway, but basketball is a super aggressive, super aggressive sport and the more talented people are around you, the more like in-control aggressive you can be, but the-

• 44:03Speaker 04

  That's one of the sports where I've watched down at, you know, Santa Monica Beach. When I first went to America and it blew my mind.

• 44:10Andrew Santino?

  Down at Venice Beach.

• 44:10Speaker 04

  How good they were.

• 44:12Andrew Santino?

  Oh, bro.

• 44:12Speaker 04

  And how orchestrated it was and the passes and it was choreography, it was buddy dance. And I was just sitting there going, this is incredible. It's like white men can't jump.

• 44:23Andrew Santino?

  But that's why.

• 44:23Speaker 04

  Good movie.

• 44:24Andrew Santino?

  That's why black people are so good at it because it is like dance. It's like dancing.

• 44:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:29Andrew Santino?

  It's dancing with a ball.

• 44:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:31Andrew Santino?

  We had a guy last night. We had a guy from the Sydney Kings. Is that with the team? We had a professional basketball player at the show last night. I called him. He was in the front row.

• 44:38Speaker 04

  Australian guy or was he American?

• 44:39Andrew Santino?

  No, no.

• 44:39Speaker 04

  Cause a lot of Americans come here and play.

• 44:41Andrew Santino?

  Oh, no, he was, he actually, no, no, no. He was from, uh, what did he say he was from? Do you remember? Not from Australia. Not an American, no.

• 44:49Speaker 04

  No, there was a few Europeans and stuff. He might've been.

• 44:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he came over here and his, uh, uh, he played for the NBL.

• 44:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:55Andrew Santino?

  Which is your league.

• 44:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's not, it's.

• 44:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he was the only black guy in the entire show.

• 45:01Speaker 04

  I don't think it's a, I don't think it's a very elite league, although we do very well at the Olympics. We, we kind of come in the top.

• 45:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you do get a couple, you do always have a couple of guys show up.

• 45:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:10Andrew Santino?

  It's kind of weird, but then we import them and then they're gone, you know, you don't get to enjoy them.

• 45:14Speaker 04

  They go and play. Like we've had a good few, few good players that have gone to NBA, but that, we've had more NFL players, a lot of punters kicking the ball.

• 45:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, this is a big thing.

• 45:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:23Andrew Santino?

  The punter, the new, the punter revolution, which I don't know if you follow the NFL at all, but.

• 45:28Speaker 04

  No.

• 45:28Andrew Santino?

  I, I.

• 45:29Speaker 04

  I don't think I follow anything anymore.

• 45:30Andrew Santino?

  I'm really anti kicking in football.

• 45:33Speaker 04

  But they gotta do it.

• 45:34Andrew Santino?

  No, I don't think they do. I think they should take it out completely.

• 45:36Speaker 04

  Really?

• 45:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we've changed the rules a lot so much around kickoffs now where it has to, you know, the.

• 45:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, you can get rid of it actually.

• 45:43Andrew Santino?

  I think we should be gone.

• 45:44Speaker 04

  My buddy played 10 years Dallas Cowboys and was getting six mil a year or something and he kicked the ball one, once maybe.

• 45:51Andrew Santino?

  Six mil a year for that?

• 45:52Speaker 04

  Crazy.

• 45:53Andrew Santino?

  It's a joke. We need to be, yeah, I don't like kicking in football. I don't like that these, you know, these, these men on the field are busting their ass. And then it all comes down to one dickhead kicking who isn't even a football player.

• 46:03Speaker 04

  Well, they do it in rugby sometimes. People got upset. A few years ago, they did the World Cup and there was an English player called Johnny Wilkinson, who just kept kicking goals as opposed to running.

• 46:12Andrew Santino?

  Running them in.

• 46:12Speaker 04

  Running them in. And the whole country was in arms. They. Hated him.

• 46:17Andrew Santino?

  But that is inherently a part of the game. It's such a kicking is such a big part of the game where I think football you could remove it. I know it's historically, but you could remove it. The only reason we have kicking in football. I'm ignorant, but I'm guessing, but I think I might be right is because of you guys, right? Or because of not you guys, but because of rugby, because of right, because of football sports that predate American football. We stole that and added elements.

• 46:42Speaker 04

  Added that element.

• 46:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  But all the punter does is kick the team out of trouble, right? That's all they're doing like you're so far back. They're like, I'll get the guy and kick it as far as.

• 46:50Andrew Santino?

  It's gotta be far away.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, so that's all that is. It's a shitty thing.

• 46:53Andrew Santino?

  What you could do is you could do a thing you could. There was a guy who did an article about it. It's called a surrender, right? Like if you're too far in your, in your danger zone and you need to kick it away. You do a surrender. You take a statistical average of how many times kicks would go to where they would go. And you do a surrender, then they get the ball at that side, on their side of the field, but with an advantage.

• 47:10Speaker 04

  They do a similar thing in rugby. There is a thing of what you're saying.

• 47:13Andrew Santino?

  Surrender.

• 47:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, why the fuck don't we do that? Then we, then you eliminate kicking. And by the way, then after you score a touchdown, instead of kicking an extra point or going for a two point conversion, you have to go for, you have to go for it. And a run is worth one to me and a pass is worth two. That's what you do.

• 47:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's more fun.

• 47:28Andrew Santino?

  It's way more fucking fun than it's football again all the time.

• 47:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:32Andrew Santino?

  And then on a kickoff.

• 47:33Speaker 04

  And then there's no foot being used at all in your football game.

• 47:35Andrew Santino?

  It's just called ball.

• 47:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's just ball.

• 47:37Andrew Santino?

  Let's go fucking play ball.

• 47:38Speaker 04

  Let's go ball.

• 47:40Andrew Santino?

  Can we just play ball today? No, but I do like, I do actually like, um, I went to an Aussie rules football game in Melbourne. I went to go.

• 47:50Speaker 04

  Australian rules is great.

• 47:51Andrew Santino?

  It was wild.

• 47:52Speaker 04

  It's the fastest game on earth, they say, like you would have seen it. It just goes around constantly.

• 47:57Andrew Santino?

  It's nonstop.

• 47:57Speaker 04

  It's nonstop and it's player on player stuff. So as opposed to NFL, that's team on team driven up.

• 48:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 48:03Speaker 04

  It's almost like basketball in that respect. You have one player that you just chase around the field.

• 48:07Andrew Santino?

  I love that.

• 48:08Speaker 04

  And it's constantly going and they are running uh, 20 to 30 Ks a game, which uh, miles, um, 40, 40 miles, no.

• 48:17Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, it's like 12 miles.

• 48:19Speaker 04

  Okay, so they're doing that flat out sprinting the whole game. It's crazy.

• 48:23Andrew Santino?

  It's fucking insane.

• 48:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the shape that those guys are in is funny because you know. No offense, but there was a rugby guy at the fucking gym this morning and the rugby thing is funny.

• 48:31Speaker 04

  Guys are different.

• 48:32Andrew Santino?

  Well, you can be jacked as a rugby guy, you could also be fat.

• 48:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, you can.

• 48:35Andrew Santino?

  Like this guy was fucking fat as shit and he's strong, right? No doubt.

• 48:39Speaker 04

  But they're NFL guys like that, aren't they? The front, the.

• 48:41Andrew Santino?

  A hundred percent, a hundred percent. It's the same thing, but rugby guys are funnier to me because.

• 48:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:46Andrew Santino?

  Our, our, well, look, let's put it this way. Football guys, like NFL sized guys, like those linemen you're talking about.

• 48:52Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:52Andrew Santino?

  These are specimens to behold.

• 48:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:55Andrew Santino?

  Where these rugby guys like this guy and a lot of guys I've seen, they're, they don't have to be super tall and big. Our guys are tall and fucking big.

• 49:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's true.

• 49:01Andrew Santino?

  Rugby guys could be five nine, but be a brick shithouse.

• 49:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:06Andrew Santino?

  Most of the time in the NFL, if you're a lineman and you're under six feet, you're never gonna fucking make it.

• 49:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:10Andrew Santino?

  Like, good luck. That's no chance.

• 49:12Speaker 04

  Rugby guys are just tough. You know, when you see a guy that just has a thick neck, they don't need to be big and everything, but you're like, oh, that guy's tough.

• 49:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's been sitting in this machine all day.

• 49:21Speaker 04

  That's what rugby guys are. They're just tough. Like you will punch him and they, their face won't even move.

• 49:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they're tough as nails.

• 49:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:27Andrew Santino?

  I think that, that's why I think because rugby's has made such, I mean, those, those guys are fucking animals. Football, NFL, another thing, and we're stuck on this, but they should do no helmets. No helmets.

• 49:38Speaker 04

  In football?

• 49:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 49:39Speaker 04

  That will help with the concussion thing that's going on?

• 49:42Andrew Santino?

  It actually will tremendously. They've actually done research to find out it will because once you teach people how to tackle the right way, they won't fucking use their heads to stop the ball like.

• 49:49Speaker 04

  What do you mean? They, they're running in and just using their head?

• 49:52Andrew Santino?

  But rugby guys, they're, the concussions in rugby are significantly less than in, in football. Because men lead with their head when they tackle because you have a protection played on.

• 50:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 50:01Andrew Santino?

  So if you remove the helmet, just like rugby, your instinct is to make a more concise tackle.

• 50:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:06Andrew Santino?

  So you don't hurt yourself and you don't hurt them. Football is just like, I'm gonna fucking kill that guy. I'm gonna run as fast as I can. They lower their helmet and a lot of them do it instinctively on accident and then they get a fucking concussion.

• 50:18Speaker 04

  They used to have no helmets in football, right?

• 50:20Andrew Santino?

  Well, yeah, they had a leather, leather, it was like almost a leather. It wasn't really a helmet. It was almost like, it was like a hat.

• 50:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:27Andrew Santino?

  It was actually just because they, because their hair would get messy. So they just wanted a hat on.

• 50:30Speaker 04

  They wanted to look good.

• 50:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah. It was vain. It was all vanity.

• 50:33Speaker 04

  Was the game then of a different tackling nature because of what you.

• 50:37Andrew Santino?

  Well, I mean, you got, I mean, you look back, it's like also the men are half the size, right? Like you're talking.

• 50:42Speaker 04

  Watching Babe Ruth and thinking that he could hit a homer today and he just gets struck out like in a second.

• 50:47Andrew Santino?

  Right, they were throwing the ball like 52 miles an hour, yeah.

• 50:50Speaker 04

  He's the greatest baseballer alive.

• 50:52Andrew Santino?

  No, Shohei Ohtani, now that's a fucking guy, but that's the progression of every sport is going to be better and better. But those guys weren't, these guys are so big now, like I'm friends with a couple of pro football players. They're so fucking big.

• 51:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:04Andrew Santino?

  If they push you joking around.

• 51:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:06Andrew Santino?

  You'd fall to the ground and maybe twist an ankle. If they push you, you know what I mean? You'd be like, fuck, that hurts. Their sheer force is so different now that the helmets aren't doing shit.

• 51:16Speaker 04

  Well, I had a, I had a friend growing up who played AFL, elite level, and won two Brownlow medals, which means he was the MVP twice. Like he's Tom Brady.

• 51:25Andrew Santino?

  Brown line medal?

• 51:26Speaker 04

  Brown low.

• 51:27Andrew Santino?

  Brown low medal?

• 51:28Speaker 04

  Brown low medal.

• 51:28Andrew Santino?

  What's Brown low?

• 51:29Speaker 04

  Uh, it's some bloke's last name, uh, so it's named after.

• 51:32Andrew Santino?

  Shout out to Bob Brownlow out there.

• 51:34Speaker 04

  Mr. Brownlow.

• 51:36Speaker 04

  So, but when we were growing up and teenagers and everything, he was four times stronger than any of us. But he looked exactly like me, like I'm, I've got the build of like an AFL player, uh, like six foot one, sort of lean. It's rugby players are like you said, shorter and much stockier and strong as fuck. But he was my exact size, just four times stronger. So like we'd just be mucking around and he'd just go boom and you'd, yeah, fall to the ground.

• 52:01Andrew Santino?

  It shocks you how much like central, they have such like a good center force. There's something about when you meet someone that has that, you know, that's like, well, that's someone, that's God. You didn't, something gave that to you. You have another level of like.

• 52:15Speaker 04

  Another level.

• 52:15Andrew Santino?

  Supreme gifted being. Who's that? There's, there's Mr. Brownlow.

• 52:19Speaker 04

  Is that Brownlow?

• 52:20Andrew Santino?

  Chaz Brownlow.

• 52:21Speaker 04

  Chaz, look at him.

• 52:23Andrew Santino?

  Send that to Joe, that's so funny. Chaz Brownlow, he does look like JP Morgan.

• 52:27Speaker 04

  Look at that.

• 52:27Andrew Santino?

  See, you guys have the Brownlow and we have banks, we did banking.

• 52:31Speaker 04

  We made the banking industries.

• 52:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, exactly right, dude. What made Mel so mad? You're gonna pull me over, sugar tits? By the way, every time I'm on Malibu and I go to Moon Shadows, Moon Shadows will inherently be, that was the place he left to go when he was getting drunk. That is always in my mind. Every time I drive by Moon Shadows, I'm like, that's fucking sugar tits.

• 52:49Speaker 04

  Who was he calling sugar tits?

• 52:50Andrew Santino?

  A cop.

• 52:51Speaker 00

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• 53:27Andrew Santino?

  He got pulled over.

• 53:28Speaker 04

  Oh, that bit, I'm sorry.

• 53:30Andrew Santino?

  We went back because he said that's what Mel's so mad about. We, uh, he got pulled over by a cop. He called her. He said, uh, "Hey, sugar tits." And then he mentioned, he was like, "You're not a Jew, are you?" Right? Isn't that what he said? Something like that? Yeah.

• 53:42Speaker 04

  When did this all go down?

• 53:44Andrew Santino?

  Oh, God, this is like 15 years ago.

• 53:45Speaker 04

  Right, that is the one that I'm thinking of. I thought maybe there was a new one.

• 53:48Andrew Santino?

  No, he's bounced back. No, he's, he made Passion of the Christ revitalize the guy. He'll find the exact, the exact quote that he did. Also, I don't think he should have been given all the flak that he got because of that. That's a, that's a lapse in a man's timing and judgment under the influence. You should be able to apologize and move forward.

• 54:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:06Andrew Santino?

  Like, like, like, he didn't beat a child to death, right? He didn't like assault some, he said some dumb shit.

• 54:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:12Andrew Santino?

  Shouldn't have said it.

• 54:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:13Andrew Santino?

  You're an asshole.

• 54:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:14Andrew Santino?

  Say my bad and then let's move on.

• 54:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:16Andrew Santino?

  What'd he say? Here we go. "What are you looking at, sugar tits?" That's what he said to the cop. What?

• 54:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, with a sunset?

• 54:27Andrew Santino?

  That is, that's, that is-

• 54:28Speaker 04

  What are you looking at, sugar tits? Still a coffee's pretty funny.

• 54:31Andrew Santino?

  It's very funny dude. It's just funny. Like, but not cool also, alright, let's move on. But they, dude, they lashed him so hard for that, I remember. It was also the, they, the antisemitic stuff is where they clipped him. They were like, oh, he did, well, whatever the Jew quote was, that's what they really got mad.

• 54:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:46Andrew Santino?

  Sugar tits was just, was bullheaded.

• 54:47Speaker 04

  Sugar tits is round of the mill, that's pretty good.

• 54:49Andrew Santino?

  By the way, you see how people talk to cops now, now that everyone has a cellphone? And they're recording cop, you know, people record them talking to a cop now?

• 54:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:56Andrew Santino?

  They say wild ass shit. There's videos of guys in New York, for some reason NYPD gets fucked with the most, because they know they're always being recorded, so they don't want to do anything crazy.

• 55:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, right.

• 55:05Andrew Santino?

  But you'll see guys go up to New York, there's a guy on TikTok who goes up to like cops and just fucks, talks shit. And they just, they're like, shut the fuck up, get the fuck out of here, because they deal with it all day long. But you're like, man, that's so funny. Hey, what are you looking at, sugar tits? Compared to this guy just trolling cops? This guy would walk up to cops, he's on TikTok, I don't know his name, but he walks up with, with donuts, he goes, "You want a donut, you fat pig ass motherfucker? You want a donut bitch?", and he'll shove it in their fucking face. It's insane. Yeah, but they, they don't have the time of day to deal with it, and also, he's on his phone. So what are they gonna do? They're not breaking any laws, they're just being rude. You know what I mean?

• 55:39Speaker 04

  We have a very different relationship to cops in this country than you do in America, obviously.

• 55:44Andrew Santino?

  Well, we, we all have a different relationship with cops, even in our country.

• 55:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, that's true.

• 55:47Andrew Santino?

  You ask one person how they feel, it's not, it's not a universal feeling.

• 55:49Speaker 04

  Alright, no, that's true.

• 55:50Andrew Santino?

  Do you know what I mean? Like, we're so-

• 55:52Speaker 04

  I, this is something I've never seen before, uh, it was years ago when I first moved to America, and I went to a college party.

• 55:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, like a frat party?

• 55:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, and I was, I was probably thirty, but I was, I was, it was, it was on the street that I was on, and I just went, and I said, "I wanna go and, and experience what a college party."

• 56:10Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 56:10Speaker 04

  So these, these young kids said, "Come in, we'll play beer pong and stuff", and it was fun. But the cops came, and the kid who owned the, I've never seen someone talk to police like this, he opened the door and he, he just was like, "I know my rights, you can't come in", and like, everything like, to the cops faces.

• 56:24Andrew Santino?

  You know who my fucking dad is?

• 56:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, he was doing that one, and he's like, "Do you know who my dad is? Like, I know my rights, I don't need to do this and stuff", and I was there going, "This is ridiculous."

• 56:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 56:32Speaker 04

  What happens in Australia, if you're having a party and the cops come around, is someone- Answer the door, the cops will come. They'll have a conversation with the cops like they're mates. They'll become friends with the cops and then they will become the police representative in the party and they'll go around and go, now keep it down guys, those were good guys, those were nice cops, alright? No, no, come on Jimmy, turn the music down, they were nice guys, okay? And they'll start getting angry but turn into the authority.

• 56:56Andrew Santino?

  They'll become the cops.

• 56:57Speaker 04

  Because they just were mates with the cops for a second, so it's very weird.

• 57:00Andrew Santino?

  Police pyramid scheme.

• 57:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, it is.

• 57:01Andrew Santino?

  Right, you're selling cops like you're selling fucking Tupperware, door to door. I think I'll become a cop. Yeah, they just get.

• 57:10Andrew Santino?

  But cops here, every, any cop I've ever met here, the demeanor is different, right? Like our demeanor in America, most city police I'm referencing, right? Like Los Angeles, Chicago, New York. If you're a city cop, your demeanor is you're on the defense. Like every cop kind of feels like.

• 57:27Speaker 04

  You should be.

• 57:28Andrew Santino?

  Right, they're on the defense.

• 57:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:29Andrew Santino?

  Out here, it feels like they are kind of just milling about, waiting for something to do.

• 57:37Speaker 04

  They're kind of rallying and making sure everyone doesn't get too out of hand, is what they're doing.

• 57:41Andrew Santino?

  They're just kind of like.

• 57:42Speaker 04

  And they're like, alright, easy, easy, easy.

• 57:44Andrew Santino?

  Right, exactly.

• 57:44Speaker 04

  You keep doing what you're doing and whatever you're doing is illegal, but just, easy. Come on, and then as soon as it gets out of hand, then they can go, okay, that's too far. And that's happened to me plenty of times when I've been thrown in the back of the car and taken home and stuff.

• 57:56Andrew Santino?

  Like in the drunk tank?

• 57:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they're, they're, they're nice about it. There's like, alright, you've gone too far, get in the car and I go, alright, I've gone too far. So I get in the car and I get driven home.

• 58:05Andrew Santino?

  Such a sweet way to go to jail. Cops in Australia kind of feel like, you know, the, you know, when you're at the airport and you're in the, in the security line and that, that roped off part? But you know how you can just pull up on the thing and just skip through it? That's kind of how it feels as a police here where you're like, I mean, I'll obey it, but I also could just fucking not.

• 58:22Speaker 04

  That's what the whole of Australia is like.

• 58:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, just pull up the thing and skip the line.

• 58:25Speaker 04

  I'll obey it to a point, but I'm not gonna, and then you, yeah.

• 58:28Andrew Santino?

  You do what you want.

• 58:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, you kind of do what you want, but we do kind of listen to authority a lot and I think that comes from convict heritage and.

• 58:37Andrew Santino?

  Fucking England.

• 58:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, you don't want your shit taken away, so you're like, alright, I won't be too much of a scallywag so that I don't get in more trouble than I need to. But I still want my shit and I still want to do a little bit of illegal stuff. We're all criminals slightly. So, you know, I'll, I'll steal shit, just small stuff, but.

• 58:54Andrew Santino?

  What do you steal? By the way, scallywag's such a British phrase. Scallywag?

• 58:59Speaker 04

  Scallywag, such an old term as well.

• 59:01Andrew Santino?

  What do you like to steal?

• 59:02Speaker 04

  Just, you know, some grapes at the supermarket when you're walking around and just, you know, enjoy your life, you know, put some underwear on in Target and fucking walk out, you know.

• 59:09Andrew Santino?

  Okay, no, never done that, but I get it.

• 59:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, live.

• 59:13Andrew Santino?

  What's the last thing that you stole recently?

• 59:14Speaker 04

  Uh, at Chipotle, they forget to charge me for guacamole and I just don't say anything about it.

• 59:19Andrew Santino?

  Like that, yeah.

• 59:20Speaker 04

  And you get your nice little $2.80 of guac and in your heart, you're like, yeah, fuck you guys.

• 59:25Andrew Santino?

  Suburban thievery at its finest.

• 59:27Speaker 04

  Just small crimes.

• 59:28Andrew Santino?

  But this place is easy to steal from, uh, it just feels like no one's really watching you here for some reason. Like everywhere I've been, every-

• 59:35Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. In America, there is Big Brother and you feel it.

• 59:38Andrew Santino?

  Fuck, yeah, they're all over you.

• 59:39Speaker 04

  You know what it is, is you've got levels, you've got City Cop and then you've got feds and then you've got other ones that you don't even know and then there's elite Illuminati and who knows what's going on there.

• 59:47Andrew Santino?

  God bless, well, we do, don't we?

• 59:48Speaker 04

  Eh?

• 59:49Andrew Santino?

  Hey, hey, hey.

• 59:50Speaker 04

  After this.

• 59:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we are going to a Diddy party tonight, actually.

• 59:53Speaker 04

  Fuck, yeah.

• 59:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he flew in just for this.

• 59:55Speaker 04

  Is that why there's 10 gallons of lube next to your bed?

• 59:58Andrew Santino?

  That's 12, actually, but yeah, that's a big one. I got the super sized one.

• 1:00:01Speaker 04

  You got the big.

• 1:00:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we're going to a Diddy party down under.

• 1:00:05Speaker 04

  What is happening there?

• 1:00:06Andrew Santino?

  Uh, he's-

• 1:00:07Speaker 04

  Can you tell me in layman's terms exactly what's happening because I haven't figured it out yet?

• 1:00:10Andrew Santino?

  He, he is, he is absolutely, um, unequivocally going to go away to prison for a very long time for trafficking. They're gonna get him for trafficking.

• 1:00:23Speaker 04

  Right. But is he the, is he the head or is he just the one that they're taking down?

• 1:00:27Andrew Santino?

  Well, he's one of the heads.

• 1:00:28Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:00:29Andrew Santino?

  Right, it's almost like in a crime family. You're never gonna get like-

• 1:00:32Speaker 04

  You're never gonna get the guy.

• 1:00:33Andrew Santino?

  The top, but you're gonna get one of the top, you're gonna get one of the captains, as they call him, right?

• 1:00:37Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:00:37Andrew Santino?

  So you may not get like the main guy, but you'll get-

• 1:00:39Speaker 04

  But he's the head of a family.

• 1:00:40Andrew Santino?

  Well, he's 100% the head of a perv family, for sure. I mean, enough people have talked about it for years that the guy was, he would have these insane parties where, look, I would say probably 90% of the shit that was going on at that party was normal. 90% of it was just coming over drinking with beautiful people who are famous and rich.

• 1:00:58Speaker 04

  And trying to hook up.

• 1:00:59Andrew Santino?

  That's a normal thing.

• 1:01:00Speaker 04

  That's a normal party.

• 1:01:00Andrew Santino?

  10% of it was like after hours, who's staying? For some wild ass bullshit.

• 1:01:05Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:01:06Andrew Santino?

  And that's, and who stayed for the wild ass bullshit? We're gonna see because the papers are gonna come out. And they say Jay-Z's name is all over it.

• 1:01:15Speaker 04

  Isn't it funny the clips that are coming up of Diddy doing something on a show and then, but watch their reaction next to him? And Jay-Z's just there going, like fuck.

• 1:01:24Andrew Santino?

  The this did not age wells for Diddy where he's like, he's patting down Justin Bieber for a wire. It's like the weird, that's like the weirdest feeling.

• 1:01:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:32Andrew Santino?

  And when you see something like that, you obviously would never recognize it at the time. You're like, oh, he's goofing with him or something.

• 1:01:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:37Andrew Santino?

  But man, how creepy.

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  Did you see the Tyson one?

• 1:01:39Andrew Santino?

  Uh-uh.

• 1:01:40Speaker 04

  They're sitting on a, a couch.

• 1:01:42Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yes. And he's like trying to hold his hand.

• 1:01:43Speaker 04

  Trying to hold his hand and Tyson just puts his hand down and just sits like there like, I, I will kill you. I will kill you. And Diddy kinda just goes, oh, shouldn't have grabbed his hand.

• 1:01:54Andrew Santino?

  But that's funny. Uh, uh, the Tyson clip that just I saw resurfaced now was the, um, yeah, I'm voting for Trump, so what? And, and this is from the first time, not from this time, right? They've resurfaced it, but the best part is like, I don't know, he's on a radio show. I don't know who it was and he was like, well, I don't, I don't like that you're doing that. He goes, I don't give a shit. So what? What are you gonna do about it? When Mike Tyson says to you, what are you gonna do about it? It's, that's end game. That's checkmate. What do you, what would you say back? Nothing, not at all.

• 1:02:21Speaker 04

  Do you know, uh, you know, when he did his stand up for a little while?

• 1:02:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I saw that, his live show, yeah.

• 1:02:26Speaker 04

  Did you ever see him at the Comedy Store? He was working two stuff?

• 1:02:28Andrew Santino?

  No, he did, he did a couple of, um, yeah, he was warming up for the Broadway version. So I never saw it. I know he was there, um, but it was extremely like, um, produced and coordinated. They were like really testing out to see how it would feel.

• 1:02:42Speaker 04

  Definitely.

• 1:02:43Andrew Santino?

  So I never saw it, but I did hear that like.

• 1:02:45Speaker 00

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• 1:03:13Andrew Santino?

  You know, the unfortunate thing is like being behind the curtain for us sometimes.

• 1:03:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:19Andrew Santino?

  Is a detriment because you're like, oh, I don't, I don't want to see, I know how the sausage is made. I don't want to watch somebody else making sausage.

• 1:03:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:25Andrew Santino?

  I'd rather just see it when it's done in the store.

• 1:03:27Speaker 04

  Well, I walked into the comedy store one night and you know how it is and I walked down into the back hallway and there was no one around and it was 10pm and I'm like, what is happening? And I went back there and it was just Mike Tyson in that hallway.

• 1:03:39Andrew Santino?

  Oh shit.

• 1:03:39Speaker 04

  He was about to go on in the, um, original room. And, uh, I walked in and he just looked at me and he went, like that.

• 1:03:46Andrew Santino?

  Fuck off.

• 1:03:47Speaker 04

  He, I'm serious. He just went like that. Like he was so nervous because he was about to do stand up for the very first time.

• 1:03:52Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 1:03:53Speaker 04

  It was the first time that he did it and now I realize why no one was around in the hallway and stuff.

• 1:03:57Andrew Santino?

  He's been hissing, he's been hissing at everybody all night.

• 1:03:59Speaker 04

  He's been hissing at everyone and I just kind of went, ah, and walked back out and went, what's happening in there?

• 1:04:04Andrew Santino?

  Did your Monty pissed himself in the hallway? Yeah.

• 1:04:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:07Andrew Santino?

  Why? I don't, I think Tyson hissed at him.

• 1:04:09Speaker 04

  I hissed at him and then Monty just urinated all down his leg.

• 1:04:12Andrew Santino?

  A hiss is such a, um, it's not even a masculine thing for him to do.

• 1:04:17Speaker 04

  No, it's terrifying.

• 1:04:18Andrew Santino?

  But it's terrifying. Right.

• 1:04:19Speaker 04

  So he's so nervous, his instant reaction is, what are you doing here? And he just went.

• 1:04:24Andrew Santino?

  It's so creepy. If he flexed on you, you'd be really scared. The hiss is like, oh, he's going to eat me alive.

• 1:04:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. I'm going, I need to back away from this terrifying animal.

• 1:04:33Andrew Santino?

  He is, he is, um.

• 1:04:35Speaker 04

  I love him.

• 1:04:35Andrew Santino?

  What a bounce back story that guy. Guy goes to prison, comes out, now he's God. Everybody loves the guy.

• 1:04:40Speaker 04

  I love him.

• 1:04:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Well, he is going to lose, he's going to lose, I think, that fight.

• 1:04:44Speaker 04

  Ah, just.

• 1:04:45Andrew Santino?

  Well, this will be out. This will already have happened by the time that fight's over. So I am curious because the fight's in two days, right? Or in three days?

• 1:04:51Speaker 04

  No, it's next Saturday.

• 1:04:53Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it is?

• 1:04:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:53Andrew Santino?

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 1:04:54Speaker 04

  So, uh.

• 1:04:55Andrew Santino?

  He is going to lose that fight.

• 1:04:56Speaker 04

  We should go, we'll be in Melbourne. We should go and watch it somewhere.

• 1:04:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I'm down.

• 1:04:58Speaker 04

  Um, it's on Netflix. That's crazy. It's crazy this has happened.

• 1:05:01Andrew Santino?

  One of the best deals of all time. I mean, I love Mike Tyson. He's to me the greatest fighter ever, but also, um, he's, the age gap is absurdist. I mean, it's insane. You're fighting a kid, like, and a kid who is in phenomenal shape.

• 1:05:12Speaker 04

  And he's a pro, like he's good.

• 1:05:14Andrew Santino?

  He's very good, but even if he wasn't that good, the other forces, age is the fucking.

• 1:05:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:20Andrew Santino?

  Age is the thing that's going to get all of us. You can't deny it. You weren't Mike Tyson when you were 24 years old.

• 1:05:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:25Andrew Santino?

  He's what? 50, how old? 53 or something like that? It's undeniable.

• 1:05:29Speaker 04

  And he's in phenomenal shape and he looks great and he looks powerful and everything, but he's still old, isn't he?

• 1:05:33Andrew Santino?

  He's still 53. Yeah, or whatever. I mean, at some point. It gets you. Fifty-eight, that's insane.

• 1:05:38Speaker 04

  That is insane.

• 1:05:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's probably the strongest fifty-eight-year-old in the world.

• 1:05:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:42Andrew Santino?

  But that's not.

• 1:05:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, like he'll kill me with one punch, but you know.

• 1:05:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but we don't, we don't fight for a living.

• 1:05:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:47Andrew Santino?

  I, I'd hope he wins, but I think he will lose unfortunately. I think that was my prediction is that if I'm a betting man, I think I'm gonna, he, I don't want him to lose, but I think he will. You know what I mean? Like in the same way that you're like,

• 1:06:00Andrew Santino?

  I'd like to see a fair fight.

• 1:06:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:02Andrew Santino?

  But I don't even know how much, like I went to the Mayweather McGregor fight.

• 1:06:05Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:06Andrew Santino?

  In Vegas. It was fucking awful.

• 1:06:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:07Andrew Santino?

  Terrible. It was bullshit. It was all for show. So I'm afraid that this will also be.

• 1:06:11Speaker 04

  I think it might be.

• 1:06:12Andrew Santino?

  Tempered, yeah.

• 1:06:12Speaker 04

  I think it might be. Cause when Tyson fought, um, who did he fight recently? Or it was probably a few years ago now. And they did like a exhibition thing. Was it? It was, uh, well, it was another famous boxer who I can't bloody remember because I'm dumb.

• 1:06:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I'm so stupid.

• 1:06:25Speaker 04

  But they came out and they both kind of were, they were dancing. They weren't fighting.

• 1:06:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because they don't want to anymore. Like who wants to fucking get hit in the face?

• 1:06:32Speaker 04

  Yeah. I don't know if he's gonna knock Tyson out or anything.

• 1:06:35Andrew Santino?

  No, I don't think he'll knock him out. But I do think he's gonna fuck. Roy Jones Jr., yeah. Roy Jones, yeah. That's right.

• 1:06:41Speaker 04

  Shit, I saw Roy Jones Jr. Get knocked out here by an Australian fighter called Danny Green in like.

• 1:06:45Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, Danny Green.

• 1:06:46Speaker 04

  Thirty seconds. And it was huge. It was so crazy.

• 1:06:49Andrew Santino?

  That was after he retired and came back or whatever, right? Yeah.

• 1:06:51Speaker 04

  But he was, you know, he was still good. He wasn't fifty-eight, but you know.

• 1:06:54Andrew Santino?

  Fifty-eight years old. Can you imagine?

• 1:06:56Speaker 04

  It's crazy.

• 1:06:56Andrew Santino?

  I'm forty-one. If a twenty-five-year-old who's strong was like, I'll fight you. I'd be like, listen dude, I gotta go. I can't. I said who's strong, not you. You're a fucking bitch boy. I'll beat the living shit out of you. I'm talking about a strong kid. Should've seen this kid in the fucking gym this morning.

• 1:07:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:11Andrew Santino?

  Six minutes and then he went home. Six minutes. Pathetic. I was working out and I'm like, let's work out. He goes, he does like three things. He got on his phone. That's such a generational thing too. You're on your phone the whole fucking time.

• 1:07:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm checking. I don't, I haven't worked out in so long. Converting things from kilograms. I don't know.

• 1:07:27Andrew Santino?

  So stupid.

• 1:07:28Speaker 04

  Just throws you. You're like, I can't do this.

• 1:07:30Andrew Santino?

  It's not even that hard to figure out, but even still, it's just, it's so funny that he was like, oh, I keep looking at the exercises. And they were like, uh, cartoon images of like little exercises. I was like, just pick, pick two and do them.

• 1:07:42Speaker 04

  I feel like most 25 year olds, most, some are gonna be obscenely strong and I don't want to.

• 1:07:48Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 1:07:48Speaker 04

  I reckon I could fight because they haven't been hurt enough in life to dig deep enough.

• 1:07:53Andrew Santino?

  Right, to get that, yeah.

• 1:07:54Speaker 04

  They're still gonna be worried about how they look and if they're gonna get pussy after the fight.

• 1:07:58Andrew Santino?

  And they will, and they will by the way.

• 1:08:00Speaker 04

  And they will.

• 1:08:00Andrew Santino?

  And you'll win and you won't get laid and he will.

• 1:08:03Speaker 04

  He will.

• 1:08:03Andrew Santino?

  He'll lose to a girl, be like, baby, oh, you still look beautiful.

• 1:08:08Speaker 04

  I reckon you need to get, you need to get anger in your life to tap into that, to get to a point where you could destroy.

• 1:08:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you need to have had a loss in your belt, under your belt. You've never lost. You've never, you've never even been in a fight. No, see, that's the thing.

• 1:08:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, you haven't.

• 1:08:24Andrew Santino?

  That's what I mean. If you've never taken an L, you don't know where to find the pain of the L.

• 1:08:30Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:08:30Andrew Santino?

  To win the next fight.

• 1:08:31Speaker 04

  Dude, I got smashed when I was a kid. I got a metal plate in my face and six pins and screws all through here. They had to rip my, I got a scar from there to there where they took my face off, took my eye out and had to reconstruct the whole thing.

• 1:08:43Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 1:08:43Speaker 04

  Cause I got smashed in a park when I was 13.

• 1:08:46Andrew Santino?

  Using what?

• 1:08:47Speaker 04

  Fists. I just got beaten up.

• 1:08:49Andrew Santino?

  That was just, that was just, wow.

• 1:08:50Speaker 04

  We don't, we don't have any, anything else but fists in this country.

• 1:08:52Andrew Santino?

  People here do weapons. People definitely use weapons here.

• 1:08:55Speaker 04

  That's true.

• 1:08:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Bar fights here, I feel like is definitely glass and whatever the fuck.

• 1:08:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, but there's no guns. At least there's no guns.

• 1:09:01Andrew Santino?

  No guns, yeah. Well, you could have used a gun back then, couldn't you?

• 1:09:04Speaker 04

  Could have used a gun, yeah.

• 1:09:04Andrew Santino?

  So how old were you when you got, when your face smashed?

• 1:09:06Speaker 04

  13.

• 1:09:07Andrew Santino?

  But you can't, your face, you wouldn't even know that anything ever happened to your face.

• 1:09:10Speaker 04

  I've never broken a bone in my body, except every bone in my face.

• 1:09:13Andrew Santino?

  Wow. So from here, from, from this side over, your head was open?

• 1:09:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, they had to, they peeled all that back. It was this one dude really who, but there was a group of them, but it was one who just wailed and it was one punch too, really. Like, uh, cause I had other friends there and it was over pretty quick. Like it wasn't a, hey, let's fight. It was a, I was a smart ass. Cause obviously, and this, this guy was just bigger and stronger and just picked the shit out of me. But yeah, I've got all this, all this fucking metalwork in my face. Dunno. Probably in jail, you know?

• 1:09:43Andrew Santino?

  We should check up on that guy.

• 1:09:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, we should.

• 1:09:44Andrew Santino?

  Do you remember who it was?

• 1:09:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Where are you, bud?

• 1:09:47Speaker 04

  Where are you?

• 1:09:47Andrew Santino?

  He's listening. He's a huge fan of mine. He's so sick.

• 1:09:50Speaker 04

  And he's loving it.

• 1:09:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's jerking off to this right now.

• 1:09:53Speaker 04

  Finally.

• 1:09:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, tell him about our fight again, money. Tell him what I fucking did to you.

• 1:09:57Speaker 04

  And I fucked you up.

• 1:09:59Andrew Santino?

  I fucked you up so bad. That is, that is, that is a terrible injury.

• 1:10:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:10:03Andrew Santino?

  That's wild. They had to reconstruct your fucking face.

• 1:10:05Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:10:06Andrew Santino?

  But it doesn't even look like, like your, this side of your face doesn't look like anything ever happened.

• 1:10:09Speaker 04

  Nah, except when I was about nineteen, I got that, um, uh, Bell's palsy thing. You seen that? Where your face just drips?

• 1:10:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Because of the surgery?

• 1:10:17Speaker 04

  I, I reckon it had to be. It was that side and everything. Yeah.

• 1:10:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:21Speaker 04

  And so for about six weeks, I, I was like that. And I'm like, shit, I'm gonna be like this forever. Um, but it kinda, it just fixed itself.

• 1:10:28Andrew Santino?

  The muscles regained some sort of memory or something?

• 1:10:30Speaker 04

  Yeah. If you look up what Bell's palsy is, they don't really know what it is. It can happen for, for like weeks, uh, maybe months, but it usually fixes itself.

• 1:10:38Andrew Santino?

  Bell's palsy doesn't last forever.

• 1:10:40Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:10:40Andrew Santino?

  Can it last forever?

• 1:10:41Speaker 04

  Oof, I would suck if it did. And some people can, uh, have it and it, but it fixes a little, but not fully. Uh, John Heffron, get it? You know, comedian?

• 1:10:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:50Speaker 04

  I remember him putting a thing out and I said, dude, I had it. Just trust me. I think, I think it'll work itself out in a, in a few months.

• 1:10:57Andrew Santino?

  Is it neurological? Is that why?

• 1:11:00Andrew Santino?

  Six months. So it's a neurological thing that happens, right? It's gotta be something with your muscle memory.

• 1:11:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they don't really have any rea- I remember the doctors going, look, we, we don't know why. It just happens, but we know that it will fix itself in a, and it did.

• 1:11:12Andrew Santino?

  Wow. Causes unknown of Bell's palsy.

• 1:11:14Speaker 04

  You just wake up one morning and your face has fallen off.

• 1:11:17Andrew Santino?

  Think about having a real, think about having a big night out of drinking and you wake up like that.

• 1:11:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:21Andrew Santino?

  And you're like, what did I do?

• 1:11:22Speaker 04

  Well, that's what happened. I was eighteen, so I was drinking all the time. So I just woke up and I was like, oh, this is bad, guys. And we're all laughing. And then I'm like, this is not fixing itself. And then it's not funny. And I'm like, oh no.

• 1:11:32Andrew Santino?

  Too many logans, mate.

• 1:11:34Speaker 04

  This is too far.

• 1:11:35Andrew Santino?

  That's fucking wild. Um, well, look, I want to thank you so much for coming on the show. I appreciate you. We're doing another show tonight. You're on tour all the time. Plug some dates. Tell people where you are, cause I highly recommend my friends to go see you. Whether you're not, whether you're in America or not, uh, you're touring constantly. So tell people where you are.

• 1:11:52Speaker 04

  I'm finishing off the Australia tour. So I think by the time this comes out, I'll only have a couple of dates left in Australia. And then next year I'll be back in America doing the regular, uh, comedy works.

• 1:12:02Andrew Santino?

  USA, USA.

• 1:12:04Speaker 04

  And the Comedy Store in La Jolla and all the, the better clubs.

• 1:12:07Andrew Santino?

  La Jolla is great, phenomenal.

• 1:12:09Speaker 04

  Zany's in Chicago, you know, all the-

• 1:12:11Andrew Santino?

  You know what's so funny? I'm from Chicago and I've, I've, I've never headlined Zany's. I've only,

• 1:12:17Speaker 04

  You only do the theaters there?

• 1:12:18Andrew Santino?

  I've only popped in. Well, it's funny because I started in LA and so Chicago's my home, but I didn't start in Chicago. So people were like, oh, you started Zany's? Like, I didn't. When I went home, I was able to, I can pop into Zany's.

• 1:12:29Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:12:30Andrew Santino?

  But by the time that I was like touring in Chicago,

• 1:12:35Andrew Santino?

  I went back, I played the Schaumburg Improv.

• 1:12:37Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:12:38Andrew Santino?

  I did the improv circuits.

• 1:12:39Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:12:40Andrew Santino?

  And then, um, so that was not downtown. And then downtown at the time, they opened up a Laugh Factory. Jamie asked me to go and do.

• 1:12:47Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:12:47Andrew Santino?

  That, so I went and did that.

• 1:12:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:49Andrew Santino?

  But I would, but when I would go home, I had this anxiety about it. So I only do one offs. Like, I don't know how you feel about performing back home, but like, like in your hometown, but I wouldn't do a weekend. Other than the Schaumburg one. I just want to do like one show and go.

• 1:13:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, I wouldn't do a weekend. I'm doing one show back in Melbourne. It's, it'll be the biggest one I've ever done. The, the Hamer Hall, big, beautiful. It's like the Sydney Opera House in Melbourne. It's.

• 1:13:09Andrew Santino?

  I thought it was Hammer.

• 1:13:10Speaker 04

  Beautiful. You can call it Hammer, that's all right.

• 1:13:12Andrew Santino?

  Is it not the Hammer Hall?

• 1:13:12Speaker 04

  It's Hamer Hall.

• 1:13:13Andrew Santino?

  Hamer?

• 1:13:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, Hamer.

• 1:13:14Andrew Santino?

  It's right on the water?

• 1:13:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:16Andrew Santino?

  I know. I stayed there. When I was living there, I stayed right, right there, right on the water. And I walked past it every single fucking day. It was so funny. And I love that city so much. I can't say enough good things about Melbourne. I know you hate it, but you're from there.

• 1:13:26Speaker 04

  I don't hate it. It's just it's my hometown, so I'm like.

• 1:13:29Andrew Santino?

  It's hard, it's hard to.

• 1:13:30Speaker 04

  I get, I know it on a deeper level than you do and it's a, it's a love hate relationship.

• 1:13:34Andrew Santino?

  I love it so much, man.

• 1:13:35Speaker 04

  More than I hate it.

• 1:13:36Andrew Santino?

  I just had so much fun. It was just like fantasy town and on that water. So it's just, I don't know.

• 1:13:41Speaker 04

  Actually, it's a bit like Chicago, like that, the river running through.

• 1:13:45Andrew Santino?

  Well, we have a lake, a huge lake, a lake that's.

• 1:13:47Speaker 04

  Didn't see that.

• 1:13:48Andrew Santino?

  Didn't see that big fuck off lake? Yeah?

• 1:13:50Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:13:51Andrew Santino?

  Can't see the other side? It's so fucking big? What is it called? The Yarra Yarra River?

• 1:13:55Speaker 04

  Yarra.

• 1:13:56Andrew Santino?

  Yarra, the Yarra River.

• 1:13:57Speaker 04

  Yarra River.

• 1:13:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's great. I, I had so much fun. I can't wait to go back down there. Go see Monty Franklin, montyfranklin.com?

• 1:14:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:04Andrew Santino?

  montyfranklin.com. Good thing, cause sometimes guys get websites that are like, montyfranklin is the funniest guy alive.com. And I'm like, okay, fuck it. Just get the regular one. Just pay the guy 80 bucks.

• 1:14:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:14Andrew Santino?

  To buy the real one.

• 1:14:15Speaker 04

  Buy your name.

• 1:14:15Andrew Santino?

  Buy your name back. Go to montyfranklin.com, check them out on social media and all that good stuff. We end the show the same way. Uh, you, you say, yeah, well, if you want to. Uh, look at the camera and say one word or one phrase to end the episode. A word or a phrase of wisdom, if you have one, to end the episode whenever you're ready. Hold on one second.

• 1:14:34Speaker 04

  A word of, words of wisdom.

• 1:14:38Speaker 04

  Penis.

• 1:14:39Andrew Santino?

  Fuck.

• 1:14:40Speaker 04

  Perfect. Panic.

• 1:14:42Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:14:48Speaker 03

  Who's that creature in the ginger beard? Sturdy and ginger.

• 1:14:52Speaker 06

  Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, $75 for the horse. Ginger's, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

• 1:15:03Speaker 03

  Ginger. I like gingers.