Pod Insights What Now? with Trevor Noah WORLD CUP Bonus Episode: The Finals About this episode The FIFA World Cup 2026 has come to an end. In this final bonus episode, Trevor and Joe break down Spain's dramatic extra-time victory over Argentina to become world champions. They also look back at the tournament's biggest moments and standout players, pull no punches in their critique of England's football culture and France's tactical shortcomings, and look ahead to the sport's next generation. Closing out their six-week run, Joe gets emotional reflecting on his broadcasting debut, and he and Trevor express their gratitude for an unforgettable summer of football.
Transcript 11,572 words · 2 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Trevor Noah? This episode is brought to you by Fabreeze and we're coming to you from the official Fabreeze sponsored boot room, which if you know anything about soccer is usually the last place you wanna hang out.
0:15 Speaker 01 This is What Now with Trevor Noah.
0:19 Trevor Noah? 104 matches, 48 teams, 30 something, 32 maybe knockout games.
0:28 Trevor Noah? Six weeks, a feast of football. How do you feel right, how do you feel right now? Are you, are you full? Or, or do you wish this was your new life?
0:39 Speaker 01 Man, I could always go for seconds when it comes to football. I could always go for seconds.
0:42 Trevor Noah? This was insane, man. First and, first and-
0:44 Speaker 01 Are you not entertained?
0:45 Trevor Noah? Yeah, are you not entertained for sure. First and foremost, Spain are the world champions again.
0:50 Speaker 01 Spain are the world champions, worthy champions, deserved champions.
0:54 Trevor Noah? And I don't wanna say, I don't wanna say it's because of me, but I will say, I will say, every time I've been at a final, Spain has won it.
1:05 Speaker 01 Also, they did win their first big major championship.
1:08 Trevor Noah? South Africa.
1:09 Speaker 01 No, no, their first major championship, 2008, that jersey, the man you're wearing right now.
1:13 Trevor Noah? Oh, this one. Oh, yeah, yeah. Not talking about the World Cup only.
1:15 Speaker 01 He scored, he scored the goal that set them on a path, on a path.
1:19 Trevor Noah? Let's, let's talk about it. I mean, first and foremost, the World Cup, the final, like, everybody who was watching the game in the stadium, on TV, said the same thing. Spain was stifling Argentina. Watching it in real time was even more impressive, you know, because we were lucky enough to be at the game.
1:38 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:39 Trevor Noah? Seeing how the Spanish team completely pressed every single player on the opposing team, seeing how they attacked together, seeing how Rodri, can I tell you? Rodri, I don't think has won a single man of the match at this tournament.
1:54 Speaker 01 No.
1:54 Trevor Noah? And I think it's because the man of the match was voted for by fans. And I think the fans, not that they don't, they didn't know the game. I think because when you're watching the game on TV, you miss out on so much of what's not happening on screen. When you're watching the game live, it's easy to say Rodri's man of the match.
2:12 Speaker 01 He was a colossus. He was a colossus today. He was everywhere. If you just kept your eye on him, you could see the whole game. You didn't have to watch the whole game to see him. He gave us Sergio Busquets vibes. He was everywhere.
2:24 Trevor Noah? But almost like a, like a stronger.
2:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, a stronger, bigger, taller. He's, he's, he's quite a unit. But it was like, just watching him, how casual he was. We talked about this during.
2:33 Trevor Noah? You said, you said it's like a grand.
2:35 Speaker 01 He was like a grandpa playing in his slippers, in his backyard. It wasn't a World Cup final for him. He was immense. The interceptions he made, fully deserved, fully deserved, play of the tournament, fully deserved in my.
2:45 Trevor Noah? Who, who are you happy for? Baby goat or the goat?
2:47 Speaker 01 I'm happy for Baby Goat, because winning it at nineteen, winning, the World Cup sometimes, not winning the World Cup can become like some kind of albatross around your neck.
2:57 Trevor Noah? You're not wrong.
2:57 Speaker 01 We saw it with Ronaldo.
2:58 Trevor Noah? Yeah, you're not wrong.
2:59 Speaker 01 They, if you win it, now you get it out of the, out of the way.
3:01 Trevor Noah? Yeah, yeah.
3:02 Speaker 01 Now you can play your international career. You're already a hero.
3:04 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
3:04 Speaker 01 So I was really happy for him. Of course.
3:06 Trevor Noah? All, all Lamina's to do is win a Champions League now, which is way easier, I would argue.
3:11 Speaker 01 Yes, for, yeah, for the club.
3:12 Trevor Noah? Than winning, because you have a chance every year.
3:14 Speaker 01 He already won the European Championship and was instrumental in that. I, I, part of me wanted, because there were so many Barcelona boys in that team, in that Spanish team. I wanted Pedri to win. I wanted the Lamina mal of defenders, Paul Kubasi.
3:27 Trevor Noah? But you didn't, but you didn't Pedri had a good World Cup?
3:30 Speaker 01 Uh, he had a good World Cup. He didn't have the World Cup he expected. Pedri expects to always be a starter, but he was unseated by Fabian Luiz. I thought Fabian Luiz, and I, I can get why, and I can get why he took over. Fabian Luiz is a lot taller, he's a lot bigger, and I think Luis de la.
3:46 Trevor Noah? He's also a lot more progressive in this tournament, at least.
3:48 Speaker 01 But he was very imprecise. That's the thing. He was progressive, but he was very, very imprecise. And I think when Pedri came on, you saw how Spain now took an even bigger stronghold on the game. Because it's all about control. But Fabian Luiz gives you something that Pedri doesn't give you, which is physicality.
4:03 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
4:03 Speaker 01 In the middle. So I get why he wanted him there. But Paul Kubasi winning young player of the tournament? He was a colossus in defence. He was incredible in defence.
4:13 Trevor Noah? Man, it was, it was so wild as well, like being there in the stadium, because like. The Argentine fans.
4:20 Speaker 01 They don't know when they're beaten.
4:22 Trevor Noah? Yo.
4:22 Speaker 01 They don't know when they're beaten.
4:23 Trevor Noah? The whole stadium was Argentina.
4:25 Speaker 01 Hmm.
4:25 Trevor Noah? Like, I'm talking from the first minutes.
4:28 Speaker 01 It felt like you were watching the game at La Bombonela.
4:30 Trevor Noah? Yo, until the, until the, um, the handing of the trophy, they were still singing, they were still chanting.
4:37 Speaker 01 During the hanging, yeah.
4:37 Trevor Noah? They were, it's like, you couldn't tell if they'd won or lost.
4:41 Speaker 01 I'll say this.
4:41 Trevor Noah? And watching them with Messi stand in front of them.
4:44 Speaker 01 Hmm.
4:44 Trevor Noah? Did it feel like a farewell to you? Do you think Messi's gone?
4:46 Speaker 01 No, I don't think he is. I think they steal a last dance in him. I watched him. So the funny thing about that image is I never thought. In a, in a hundred years, I never thought Messi would reach that kind of status with these Argentine fans. They were burning his jazzes. And burning his effigies just ten years ago, when they forced him into retirement, when they used to call him the Catalan. When they went like, you don't feel the way Maradona used to feel. Because remember, the reason Maradona is so adored in Argentina is he tagged on the emotional cords of the fans. And Messi, Maradona was literally a fan playing the game. That's what he was. He wasn't a soccer player. He was a fan who just happened to be gifted enough that he could play the game.
5:28 Trevor Noah? Do you remember, actually, do you remember, have you seen that video where Pele's talking to Maradona, they're at some event? And they're outdoors and they don't realize that their microphones are on or they're hot.
5:37 Speaker 01 Hmm.
5:37 Trevor Noah? And there's like a ceremony happening around them. And then they start talking. And then Pele says to Maradona, he says, he's like, hey, have you met this guy Messi?
5:45 Speaker 01 Hmm.
5:46 Trevor Noah? Messi, have you met him? And then Maradona's like, yeah, I've met him before. And Pele's like, he's really good, but I've never met him. Then Maradona's like, yeah, he's phenomenal. Then he goes, yeah, what's he like? Then Maradona goes, look, he's, he's, he's really, really talented. He's like, but he has zero personality.
5:59 Speaker 01 Yes.
6:00 Trevor Noah? He's like, he'll never be great because he has no personality. He doesn't make the fans feel anything. He doesn't make the team feel anything.
6:07 Speaker 01 Argentines are very passionate people. They're a very fiercely emotional people. And so Maradona, even with the things he used to do, the way he used to talk to the opponents, the way he used to talk to referees. You could go like, oh, that's what I would do as a fan. Just that most fans are not gifted enough.
6:21 Trevor Noah? To be on the pitch, yeah, yeah, yeah.
6:22 Speaker 01 And so Messi, for the longest time, part of the reason why they accused him of being Catalan is they said, you don't feel. Remember, he never played in the Argentine league.
6:29 Trevor Noah? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, which is rare.
6:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, so he never had that bond with the fans. And so to see him cry as they were singing and like, they were chanting at him and they were serenading him.
6:40 Trevor Noah? He just.
6:41 Speaker 01 That emotion, yes. Crying.
6:44 Trevor Noah? Crying in front of them?
6:45 Speaker 01 As they sang, it was beautiful. It was beautiful, Trevor. You know, cause normally in the world, normally in any story, drama or otherwise, you want to see that redemption arc. And to see them serenading him for fifteen minutes straight.
6:59 Trevor Noah? Yeah, it was fifteen minutes.
7:00 Speaker 01 In front of them crying. I wonder, oh, that's the stuff that legends are made of.
7:04 Trevor Noah? You know who's also a legend?
7:05 Speaker 01 Yes.
7:06 Trevor Noah? Enzo Fernandez. Let me tell you why Enzo Fernandez is a legend, bruh. He's a legend because he celebrates his goal. Like, remember, he's got that famous celebration. Cups his ears, and he does the thing, cups his ears, does the thing, does the thing, standing there. So now it's a great meme, like everyone's got that meme, right? Then, did you also see that press conference that he gave?
7:27 Speaker 01 Okay.
7:27 Trevor Noah? So, um, cause he, he put out, he had like a post on his social media where he played Wonder War.
7:35 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
7:35 Trevor Noah? And like laughing faces, little laughing emojis and everything. So then they asked him in one interview, they're like, yo, bruh, why are you insulting England? You live there and you play football there.
7:47 Speaker 01 You get paid.
7:47 Trevor Noah? Aren't you worried about it? And then he was like, no, no, no. And he says this in Spanish, he's like, no, you know, I think people might be a little confused. I didn't wanna insult anybody in England. He's like, I have a lot of respect for the English. Uh, he's like, you know, my housekeepers are all English and I respect them. I respect them. I was like, yo, bruh.
8:03 Speaker 01 My friends are all black.
8:04 Trevor Noah? What a crazy.
8:05 Speaker 01 Them, yes.
8:06 Trevor Noah? What a crazy statement that you think will get you out of it, to be like, no, I, I have a lot of love for these people. A lot of them, like, are my housekeepers.
8:15 Speaker 01 I pay them minimum wage.
8:16 Trevor Noah? You know what I mean?
8:16 Speaker 01 Yes. No, I'll say this.
8:17 Trevor Noah? And then, and then he goes and he gets a red card in the World Cup.
8:20 Speaker 01 I, I think, I think, I think both red, both yellow cards were silly. I think the first one, you can't get a yellow card for dissent in a World Cup final, especially against a team as good as.
8:29 Trevor Noah? Yeah, but this, can I tell you why?
8:31 Speaker 01 Yes.
8:31 Trevor Noah? Because Argentina was used to not getting cards.
8:33 Speaker 01 No, no, no, no, no.
8:35 Trevor Noah? I'm telling you.
8:35 Speaker 01 He genuinely thought he was, he was fouled. He genuinely thought he was fouled.
8:38 Trevor Noah? It doesn't matter, Joe. What I'm saying is this, this is what happens to teams.
8:41 Speaker 01 Players talk back every time.
8:42 Trevor Noah? Nah, man, let me tell you something.
8:43 Speaker 01 Players talk back.
8:44 Trevor Noah? If they felt like.
8:45 Speaker 01 Yes.
8:46 Trevor Noah? They couldn't do it, they wouldn't do it. But he felt, they, he felt emboldened and then he met a ref who was like, oh, here's a card.
8:52 Speaker 01 I disagree with the whole premise of Argentina being favored. I disagree. I've watched all the games. There's no decision where you could go like, oh, there, they favored them.
8:58 Trevor Noah? What?
8:58 Speaker 01 No, there were so many.
8:59 Trevor Noah? Are you crazy?
9:00 Speaker 01 Yes. People were.
9:02 Trevor Noah? I'm glad that you said yes when I said, are you crazy?
9:04 Speaker 01 People were cherry picking. I'll say this, I'll say this. The second yellow. Was even sittier than the first one.
9:10 Trevor Noah? Why?
9:10 Speaker 01 When you're on a yellow, you can't go diving in.
9:12 Trevor Noah? Yeah, you can't.
9:13 Speaker 01 You can't go diving in.
9:13 Trevor Noah? But you know why? It's because he forgot that he was on the yellow.
9:15 Speaker 01 No, no, no, no, because remember, Argentina had to take off Lisandro Martinez.
9:19 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
9:19 Speaker 01 Because he was on a yellow, because you know, against a team like Spain, at some point, you're going to have to tactically foul. You can't do that when you're on a yellow. So they took off Licha, who was one of their best defenders. And now he goes and does that. Now he's left them with ten men. Messi doesn't press, Messi doesn't track back. Now you've left us essentially with nine men.
9:38 Trevor Noah? Guys, you can't, but even if you have ten men, ten men against Spain.
9:41 Speaker 01 You're going to work.
9:42 Trevor Noah? Guys, forget work, it's finished, man.
9:44 Speaker 01 No, no, but I'll say, I'll say they gave a better.
9:45 Trevor Noah? Can you think of a team?
9:46 Speaker 01 Yes.
9:47 Trevor Noah? That can play Spain with ten men on the field?
9:49 Speaker 01 Yes, Argentina. It's the only team. Because I'll tell you one thing, they made, they gave a better account of themselves than France with eleven men.
9:56 Trevor Noah? Against Spain?
9:56 Speaker 01 Yes.
9:57 Trevor Noah? Yeah, that's true.
9:58 Speaker 01 They gave a better count. And the thing is, when I started out, and, and if you watch the live stream, I end up being a very pro Argentina at the end because I love a good defensive performance. I haven't seen the teams defend like that since Italy.
10:12 Trevor Noah? They were men.
10:12 Speaker 01 In two thousand four, Euro two thousand four, when they defended like that, Alessandro Nesta, uh, Fabio Canavaro.
10:19 Trevor Noah? Maldini.
10:20 Speaker 01 Francesco Toldo, against the Netherlands at home. Netherlands missed two penalties, Italians were reduced to ten men. They defended like their lives depended on it, took it to penalties, Francesco Toldo stood up tall, they advanced to the finals. Now I'll say this, I love a good defensive performance. I love a good attacking performance, but I love when the defense goes like, today we are throwing everything, we're putting our bodies on the line. And I felt Argentina did that. I feel like Alberto Pasar, uh, Pasarera, their famous defender from seventy eight, if he was watching, he must have been impressed. They gave it everything. It was a good way to lose. You give a battling performance, Argentines have that.
10:54 Trevor Noah? Yeah, except when they started punching people after the game.
10:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, I, I don't know why they did that, because for me, I felt like they were gallant losers.
11:00 Trevor Noah? They were gallant, and then like at the end, it just turned into a brawl.
11:02 Speaker 01 Yeah, because they.
11:03 Trevor Noah? Like it was a full on brawl.
11:03 Speaker 01 Because Argentines are also sometimes sore losers. But the thing is, they give a better, if you see how, what Spain did to France. If you go out like, if you go out like that, that's disappointing. Today, they gave a battling performance. They were looking, they were waiting for that one moment and they almost got it at the end twice.
11:20 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
11:20 Speaker 01 Yes, so that's the only way you can beat this Spain team. You can't try to fight them man for man. No one can play soccer like them. You can't try to fight territory by territory. No one can counter territory like them. You can't try to fight them possession by possession. They are filled with Barcelona players and then they are adding people like Lodi. You said something about their wing backs.
11:37 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
11:38 Speaker 01 Their wing backs play like wingers.
11:39 Trevor Noah? Yeah, they do.
11:40 Speaker 01 Everyone is comfortable on the ball. You can't go toe to toe with them, which is what France tried to do. And they learned a very painful lesson.
11:46 Trevor Noah? I don't even think France went toe to toe with them. I think France made the mistake of thinking.
11:52 Speaker 01 They were equals.
11:52 Trevor Noah? That they didn't know, that they didn't need to play as a team.
11:55 Speaker 01 Yes.
11:55 Trevor Noah? Right? Because with Spain, the left back and the right back are as important in the attack.
12:00 Speaker 01 Yes.
12:00 Trevor Noah? As the left wing and the right wing are in defense.
12:03 Speaker 01 Yes, yes.
12:03 Trevor Noah? But with France, the attackers do the attack, the defenders do the defend. You know, an example of, you know, this is something, it's going to be interesting to see how Zinedine Zidane takes over the French team. Because you even saw it in the England game. I know it was a third place game.
12:16 Speaker 01 Hmm.
12:16 Trevor Noah? And I know people are saying the game doesn't count, but I think it started counting towards the end.
12:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, it did, it did.
12:20 Trevor Noah? And if you look at that game, look at, look at the moments where England was coming forward. What is one of the main things they had?
12:26 Speaker 01 Hmm.
12:27 Trevor Noah? They had one of their defenders leading the attack.
12:29 Speaker 01 Yes.
12:30 Trevor Noah? Jed Spence.
12:30 Speaker 01 Yes.
12:31 Trevor Noah? Right?
12:31 Speaker 01 Hmm.
12:32 Trevor Noah? But what is the thing that France never had? A defender leading their attack.
12:36 Speaker 01 You're right, yes.
12:37 Trevor Noah? That extra man overlapping or giving you like the little undercut, the undercut.
12:42 Speaker 01 Yes, yes, yes, yes.
12:43 Trevor Noah? It makes such a world of difference in a world where everyone's man on man, one on one, because then you don't, you just don't have an extra person.
12:49 Speaker 01 Yes.
12:50 Trevor Noah? Do you get what I'm saying?
12:51 Speaker 01 The thing I'm saying about, so for me, the thing that impressed me most, and again, people might not understand it, is if you're a student and a historian of the game. You know that Argentines love battling defenders. Let it be Roberto Ayala, let it be Sensini, let it be Alberto Pasarela, let it be Oscar Ruggeri. They love defenders who give their all. And so if I was an Argentinian watching that, I would go like they fought for the shirt.
13:14 Trevor Noah? They did.
13:14 Speaker 01 Sweat, blood, tears, they fought for the shirt, they didn't wilt. I've seen teams, I'm a Barcelona fan. I've seen teams, Barcelona, how many times we get a red card?
13:22 Trevor Noah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:23 Speaker 01 And we wilt and wither. And then we lose the game that we should have won.
13:26 Trevor Noah? But it's also kids, you also got to be fair though. This Barcelona team has been like, it's kids versus like, this, this felt like a team of men.
13:32 Speaker 01 Of men, yeah, of men.
13:33 Trevor Noah? And it did feel like the lost of men, because we won't see them again. What will be interesting is, is gonna see, is seeing what's gonna happen now to England going forward.
13:41 Speaker 01 Before we talk about England, let me say something about Spain super quick. As a Barcelona fan, I loved this, I loved this because it, it, it had, it, it had so much like in common, so many parallels with twenty ten, twenty ten, a Barcelona midfielder, Andres Iniesta, scores the only goal to give Spain their first World Cup in South Africa in extra time against the Dutch.
14:04 Trevor Noah? It was one nil as well, right?
14:05 Speaker 01 It was one nil as well. Today, what happens? A Barcelona striker, much maligned by Barcelona fans like me and Spain in general, scores the only goal in extra time to give Spain that extra star on their jersey. This, look, when they named this team.
14:21 Trevor Noah? And so they, so they have two now?
14:22 Speaker 01 They have two now.
14:23 Trevor Noah? Argentina has two.
14:24 Speaker 01 Argentina has three.
14:25 Trevor Noah? Oh, yeah, three, yes, because of Messi's third one, yeah, yeah.
14:27 Speaker 01 So, when they, when, when Luis De Fuentes, who is another much maligned manager, he didn't come in with the best credentials and actually for, for the longest time, people thought Spain was winning despite him, not because of him. Despite him, so, or in spite of him. So today, there's nothing can say to him. He has the Euros, he has the World Cup, but, but, he named a Spanish team without a Real Madrid player. Now, there was only one Real Madrid player, technically because of, because of Kukurela, who was moved from Chelsea.
14:55 Trevor Noah? But, but let's also look, but let's also.
14:56 Speaker 01 This is a Barcelona victory. For a Barcelona fan, this is a Barcelona victory.
14:59 Trevor Noah? Yeah, but also, if we're gonna be fair.
15:01 Speaker 01 Yes.
15:01 Trevor Noah? How many Spanish players are in the Real Madrid team?
15:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, it's not fair enough, but remember.
15:05 Trevor Noah? So to say, to say there's no Real Madrid players.
15:07 Speaker 01 No, but remember.
15:08 Trevor Noah? No, no, no, but wait, wait, wait.
15:09 Speaker 01 Yes.
15:09 Trevor Noah? Let's go through the Real Madrid lineup.
15:11 Speaker 01 Dean Hauser was supposed to make the team, Carreras was supposed to make the team. Some people thought that Raoul Asensio should make the team. Some people thought that Gonzalo Garcia should have made the team.
15:21 Trevor Noah? Oh, Carreras?
15:22 Speaker 01 Yes, Carreras, the, the, the left back.
15:23 Trevor Noah? Yeah, okay, okay.
15:24 Speaker 01 Yes, so there were a number of players who they thought who Madrid fans thought should make the team. They didn't.
15:29 Trevor Noah? Above the players they had though.
15:30 Speaker 01 Yes, this Madrid fans, okay, okay, Madrid fans, I feel many Madrid fans were waiting for this. When they drew against Capet, many Madrid fans were like, that's what you get. That's what you get for bringing Barcelona.
15:40 Trevor Noah? But Joe, man, it, you know.
15:43 Speaker 01 So this is for me as a Barcelona fan, this is a victory that for me. Spain always has to build around Barcelona.
15:49 Trevor Noah? People say it over and over and over again. And every single tournament, you think it's not gonna be true. I mean, I know I fall victim to this, man. I fall in love with the attacking flash. I fall in love with like the the prowess up top. I fall in love, man, defense wins championships. Defense wins.
16:08 Speaker 01 It's a cliche, it's a cliche, but it's true.
16:10 Trevor Noah? Spain barely scored goals in this World Cup. I know they had one big game, was it like five one?
16:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, that was Saudi Arabia, doesn't count.
16:17 Trevor Noah? You know what I mean?
16:17 Speaker 01 Hmm.
16:18 Trevor Noah? But like they barely scored games.
16:19 Speaker 01 That's how they won in twenty ten.
16:21 Trevor Noah? But the amount of clean sheets they got in this World Cup.
16:23 Speaker 01 Yes, they conceded one goal, just the Cataria of Belgium, they had against.
16:28 Trevor Noah? That's pretty crazy when you think about it.
16:30 Speaker 01 That's what they did in South Africa as well. And for me, is that that's why I'm so, that's why I'm crediting the Argentine defense so much. Cause there's that thing called garra, the Argentines call it garra, claw. Claw where you claw your way, you know, where you're beaten, but you claw your way back. And they showed this today, Spain, normally teams like Spain, who are very pretty and they're they they will pretty patterns are always very, they have a soft underbelly. Barcelona has a soft underbelly because they they know how to play pretty football, but when the pressure is on, they collapse.
16:59 Trevor Noah? You know what it is though? There are, there are some countries where they're lucky, we we basically get to glimpse into an alternate universe.
17:05 Speaker 01 Okay.
17:06 Trevor Noah? So for me, what I love about the World Cup for certain countries like um Spain, Argentina, et cetera. With Spain, we get to see what would Atletico Madrid be like with Messi, right?
17:16 Speaker 01 With Argentina, yes.
17:17 Trevor Noah? Sorry, what would, yeah, what would, no, no, what would Atletico Madrid be like?
17:21 Speaker 01 With Messi.
17:21 Trevor Noah? With Messi, when we watch Argentina, okay? And then with, oh, yeah.
17:25 Speaker 01 That was a typical Diego Simeone performance.
17:27 Trevor Noah? Right, and then with Spain, we get to go, what would Barcelona be like if they had Rodri?
17:33 Speaker 01 Yes.
17:33 Trevor Noah? Like, it feels like that's the one thing Barcelona is missing now is a Busquets type.
17:36 Speaker 01 Yes, yes, yes, yes.
17:37 Trevor Noah? And you get to see it, you're like, oh, yeah, this would make a big difference for them.
17:41 Speaker 01 We have a kid coming, Mark Bana.
17:43 Trevor Noah? Oh, yeah, you've you've talked about him for a long time.
17:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, he's like.
17:45 Trevor Noah? Like England, Joe, let's talk about England, bro. We're gonna continue this conversation right after this short break. We're coming to you from a boot room sponsored by Fabreeze, which if you know anything about soccer, is usually the last place you'd want to hang out. Because this is where all the gear lives. The cleats, the jerseys, the socks, the bags, everything that probably never sees a washing machine until it's too late. But right now, it actually smells fresh in here. That's because Fabreeze Fabric is built for exactly this kind of odor. The stuff trapped in fabrics that you can't just throw in the wash. It doesn't just cover it up, it actually fights the odor.
18:29 Trevor Noah? And I have to say, this is one of the more confident sponsorships I've ever seen. Usually brands want to put their names on the nicest room in the building. The VIP lounge, the luxury suite, the hospitality area. Fabreeze looked at the boot room and said, "No, no, no, put us in there." And honestly, I respect that. Because this room contains decades of bad decisions. Wet cleats, forgotten gym bags, socks that should have retired years ago. The kind of smells that don't just enter a room, they sign a long-term lease. And yet somehow it smells fresh. Yeah. Can you smell that, Joe?
19:11 Speaker 01 Smell what?
19:12 Trevor Noah? Exactly! That's what is so impressive about this. Because a lot of the things in here are exactly the things that you can't throw in the wash. None of it, the cleats, the bag, the car seat after practice, that's the whole point. Fabreeze Fabric is for the things the game touches that the washing machine can't. And it's made with no dyes, no formaldehydes, and uses a 100% natural nitrogen propellant. If your soccer gear is starting to smell like its own locker room, it's time for Fabreeze Fabric. It doesn't just mask the odors, it fights them!
19:46 Trevor Noah? Find Fabreeze Fabric at Walmart.
19:53 Speaker 01 England, I don't think.
19:55 Trevor Noah? Let's talk about England.
19:56 Speaker 01 English fans, please look away. This is going to be very brutal. Please look away. Don't just, you know, trigger warning, look away. I'll say this about England.
20:04 Trevor Noah? Six goals against France, Joe.
20:06 Speaker 01 I'll say this about England. England has one problem, and there's only one way they're going to fix it. England is a small footballing country. England is a football major. And the sooner they accept that, remember what they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is the first step.
20:22 Trevor Noah? Step, yeah.
20:23 Speaker 01 England has won one World Cup, nineteen sixty-six. Ever since then, they haven't made a single World Cup final. Argentina has been to six. Germany has been, I think, to six. England thinks they are the same level as Germany and Argentina. They are not. They are at the same level as Diarra Congo, Malawi, Senegal is a bit higher. England, England has to look in the mirror, Trevor. England has to take it.
20:48 Trevor Noah? Yo, what an outlandish claim.
20:49 Speaker 01 I'll tell you this. No, no. Okay, okay. You think it's outlandish. England has one World Cup more than Uganda. And England has as many World Cup final appearances as Uganda since nineteen sixty-six.
21:00 Trevor Noah? That's a, that's a crazy way to win an argument. I would rather, I would rather say this. Here's, okay, here's, I.
21:04 Speaker 01 How would you put it?
21:05 Trevor Noah? When you, if you're not a troll.
21:06 Speaker 01 Okay, I'm not trolling. I'm stating facts.
21:08 Trevor Noah? I'm not saying you're trolling. I'm just saying you're a troll.
21:10 Speaker 01 Yes.
21:10 Trevor Noah? So, if you're not a troll.
21:13 Speaker 01 Okay.
21:13 Trevor Noah? If I was to give an honest assessment of England, this is what I would say. I think sometimes the English, the fans of the team.
21:21 Speaker 01 Yes.
21:22 Trevor Noah? They are confused by the quality of the Premier League, and they think that that quality will immediately translate to the national team.
21:30 Speaker 01 That's a fair assessment. That's a fair assessment.
21:32 Trevor Noah? Forgetting that a lot of the highest quality in the Premier League doesn't come from the English players.
21:38 Speaker 01 Yes.
21:38 Trevor Noah? Now, I'm not saying the English players are not great in the Premier League, but I'm saying if we look at the standouts.
21:44 Speaker 01 Okay, yes.
21:44 Trevor Noah? Every single season.
21:45 Speaker 01 They are from other countries.
21:46 Trevor Noah? Mohamed Salah, um, uh, who else?
21:50 Speaker 01 I said Rodri.
21:51 Trevor Noah? Mohamed Salah, Rodri, like if we look at the champions, Kevin De Bruyne. Just go through like the champions over the past few years. Bruno Fernandes. You know what I mean? Not even a champion, but like if we look at like top goal scorers, top assist, Erling Haaland.
22:03 Speaker 01 But I said this. I said this in our preview podcast. I remember when I said England has never produced the greatest player.
22:08 Trevor Noah? Do you, do you realize?
22:09 Speaker 01 They produce good players, but they're always better players from other countries.
22:12 Trevor Noah? But you realize until this third place came. No Premier League player had scored.
22:17 Speaker 01 England had never reached, this was England's highest performance.
22:19 Trevor Noah? Yeah, but I'm saying do you also understand that? No Premier League player had scored.
22:23 Speaker 01 Yes.
22:23 Trevor Noah? But now the drama, I don't know if you've seen the drama, it's getting spicy. So if you've seen on Instagram and if you saw after the match. So Bukayo Saka gets a hat trick, right? Shows like Bukayo Saka is, yes.
22:34 Speaker 01 Start padding in a meaningless game.
22:36 Trevor Noah? The team wasn't, do you think it's a meaningless game?
22:38 Speaker 01 It's a meaningless game. It was played at walking pace. I've seen games on a Tuesday night pickup that have far more intensity than that. It was a meaningless game.
22:46 Trevor Noah? The last twenty minutes weren't meaningless.
22:48 Speaker 01 Hmm, yeah, but.
22:49 Trevor Noah? The last twenty minutes were real.
22:50 Speaker 01 Look, I feel like the fans should have been refunded their money.
22:53 Trevor Noah? I think the fans got more value at that game than all the other games they've watched.
22:57 Speaker 01 If you're a real soccer fan, you see today's game, today's game was intense. Yesterday.
23:02 Trevor Noah? Nah, bro.
23:02 Speaker 01 Trevor, I'll say this, let me first say this about you.
23:03 Trevor Noah? No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, this is what I'm saying. You're not wrong. If we're going to talk about it in like an academic.
23:11 Speaker 01 Is England a great footballing nation?
23:13 Trevor Noah? As an academic footballing exercise, it was not great football. No one was committing.
23:18 Speaker 01 I don't want to talk about, I don't want to talk about the third place playoff.
23:20 Trevor Noah? No one was pressing.
23:20 Speaker 01 We don't have time, uh, it's like, this is like discussing Rob Kardashian. No, I'd rather talk about Kim Kardashian and the rest. I'm not going to talk about a third place playoff, I don't have time. Trevor, let's talk about England. I want to diagnose England's scoring because I want to help England become a better footballing nation. England has to admit they are not on the same level as Argentina, Germany, France, Spain, they're not.
23:40 Trevor Noah? But I think they know that.
23:41 Speaker 01 No, they don't. And you blame the fans, I don't blame the fans. I blame.
23:44 Trevor Noah? No, I'm not saying the fans, I'm not saying the fans.
23:46 Speaker 01 I blame the media. So the English media.
23:49 Trevor Noah? Yes.
23:49 Speaker 01 Is very good at bigging up English players.
23:51 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
23:52 Speaker 01 And then the English fans and the English players drink the Kool-Aid. And they come in thinking, if England came into the World Cup with the same expectations as Malawi, as Gracow, they would always overperform. But when you come in thinking you are Argentina, you always feel you underperformed. So here's the problem with England, and I'm not hating guys. I know some post say you're hating on England, I love England, guys. They gave me Shakespeare, they gave me the Beatles, they gave me Harry Potter, they gave me The Office, they gave us Mr. Bean. I love England. Our best friend Lawrence is English, one of the best stand-up dudes you'll ever see. Trevor, I won't perform in England, best comedy audiences by a country mile. I love England. Here's the problem with England. England.
24:35 Speaker 01 First of all, my beef with England is simple. England de-prioritizes players who make other countries win. A player like Pedri would never ever shine in England.
24:48 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
24:48 Speaker 01 A player like Vitinha would never shine. A player like Messi, he's too small.
24:52 Trevor Noah? I mean, no, but I mean, there's people are saying that about Kobe Maynu. They're saying, how on earth did Kobe Maynu not play? Even, even in this, in this World Cup, they're saying, why didn't Saka play more?
25:00 Speaker 01 So, so forget Saka, forget Kobe Maynu. England for the longest time, if you've watched international football, you can go back as far back as the days of Glenn Hoddle. You can go as far back as the days of Chris Waddell. You can go back as recently as Post calls. England doesn't like gifted technicians. You can look at Mesut Ozil, the way the media treated him.
25:20 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
25:21 Speaker 01 They think they are lazy. What England wants is passion and lungs. Declan Rice, Elliot Anderson, those players will never win a championship. Cause when it comes, when they meet great technicians, they always disappear.
25:34 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
25:34 Speaker 01 So, England has never treated, the last time England actually built around a great technician was Poguskoine. And when Poguskoine was playing for England, that's when England dared to dream. If you watch Euro ninety six, when he scored that goal against Scotland. Beautiful football by England, Gaza, that's majestic. I, I still remember the commentary. It's almost like Sipio Sabala's commentary.
25:57 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
25:57 Speaker 01 He got the ball, ah, long hoof forward, as always by England. Teddy Sheringham brought it down, passed it to Darren Anderton. Darren Anderton saw Gascoigne charging towards the Scottish box, passed it to him. Gascoigne looped it over the defender and hit it before it hit the ground. That's tech, that's technique. England should build around players like that. Instead, what, what does England do? England treats them with suspicion or treats them as lepers. They throw them out of the team. Look at Post calls. Post calls, you sent me something that was very interesting, where Post calls said, even when we used to win.
26:28 Trevor Noah? We never felt, we never felt like we were in control, yeah.
26:31 Speaker 01 And remember, my response to you was, Post calls is so close to the answer. He's actually the closest to the answer, but his Englishness can't make him see it. If England had built around Post calls, instead of Gerrard and Steven, ah, Steven Gerrard and.
26:45 Trevor Noah? And Lampard, yeah.
26:46 Speaker 01 Post calls was idolized by Barcelona players. Xavi had his posters, Iniesta had posters. Zidane said the one player he wanted to play with was Post calls.
26:54 Trevor Noah? But, but, but, but here's my issue though.
26:56 Speaker 01 Yes.
26:56 Trevor Noah? Here's my issue. Aren't you basically just saying that every team should try and be Spain? Because, no, no, wait, wait, because, because. When France won the World Cup.
27:06 Speaker 01 Mm hmm.
27:07 Trevor Noah? They didn't play that way.
27:08 Speaker 01 They built around Zidane, a technician, a great technician.
27:10 Trevor Noah? No, no, in Mbappe's World Cup?
27:12 Speaker 01 In Mbappe's, they had, Griezmann was a great technician. He wouldn't play in England, he would be considered too small.
27:17 Trevor Noah? Okay.
27:18 Speaker 01 Considered, like, all people would bully him. So the thing is, post calls, if you grew up in France, if you grew up in Jokol. I'll give you Jokol, he's not the best player.
27:26 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
27:26 Speaker 01 If Jokol grew up in Spain, or grew up in France, or Italy, or Germany, look at Musiala. They would build around such a player. But England likes bullies. England likes power, person power.
27:37 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
27:37 Speaker 01 And so, the last player they built around was Gaza. Before that, Glenn Hood was thrown to the side, Chris Ward.
27:42 Trevor Noah? Okay, wait, so who would you build around now then? Let's look at the England team now.
27:45 Speaker 01 I'll build around, I'll build around Cole Palmer. Great technician. I'll build around.
27:48 Trevor Noah? Consistent?
27:50 Speaker 01 He had an injury, played.
27:51 Trevor Noah? No, no, I'm just asking, I'm just asking questions. I'm not saying, I'm just asking questions.
27:54 Speaker 01 I'll build the team around him, I'll build the team, I'd rather build. Phil Foden hasn't delivered for England, but if they built the team around him, he's a great. Phil Foden would play in Spain. He's a great technician, great in tight spaces, but England likes Elliot Anderson and Declan Rice. Now, it's not Declan Rice's fault that he has a horrible first touch. He can't turn. It's not Elliot Anderson's fault that he treats any ball as an unpinned grenade. He just kicks it away. This is not their fault. If Declan Rice and Elliot Anderson grew up in Spain, they would be stacking shelves. They wouldn't be on the football pitch. Football is about technique. Football is about how you do it. Did you see Omar today?
28:32 Trevor Noah? Yeah, yeah, he was special, man.
28:34 Speaker 01 The way he would receive the ball on the half time, in half spaces. England doesn't have that player.
28:37 Trevor Noah? Today's whole game was tight.
28:38 Speaker 01 It was incredible.
28:39 Trevor Noah? Like, it was tight in terms of, like, where the player received the ball and where they moved from there.
28:43 Speaker 01 Space is at a premium.
28:45 Trevor Noah? So, so, so precise, yeah.
28:46 Speaker 01 How can you turn? Jude Beningham, for me, is the one player in England who, as I said last week, takes out his balls, slaps them on the table. Is he a technician? No, he's not. He's not Pedri, he's no, he's even no Gavi. Spain is overflowing with technicians, you saw today. They take off Rodri, they bring on Subi Man.
29:05 Trevor Noah? Yeah, no, the whole team, man, the whole team.
29:07 Speaker 01 They take off Fabian Ruiz, they bring on Pedri. People can't, when, when England was under pressure against Argentina, remember what I kept telling you? They kept hoofing the ball away.
29:15 Trevor Noah? Yeah, they did.
29:15 Speaker 01 When they needed someone.
29:16 Trevor Noah? Did you see the difference today?
29:17 Speaker 01 Yes.
29:17 Trevor Noah? Difference today? Spain is up, ball goes to Argentina, what did the Spanish do? They went to them. They didn't, man, that was the, that's all I'm saying, I was looking for from the English team. Don't retreat into your box when the ball is in the other team's half. And now you go wait for them, because here's a few things that you you you you do without realizing it. I know it seems safer, but first of all, you allow them to think. Because they get to look up, they get to scan the field, they get to like assess the situation. When a man is on you, and that's why I'm not good at football. I know when you when you're on me, I have to just think about the ball.
29:56 Speaker 01 You've seen when I play, it doesn't matter if three guys on me. Just I tell you, no, these are shirts, pass me the ball.
30:01 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
30:01 Speaker 01 These are non-existent shirts, because I know I can control the ball.
30:04 Trevor Noah? It makes a big difference.
30:05 Speaker 01 They can't go through me, so the thing the thing.
30:07 Trevor Noah? It makes a huge difference. So what I'm so what I'm saying though about the English team is I go, when you looked at this team that played France, I know you don't count it. But did you see anything in this team from any of the players where you'd go, actually, there's something there?
30:18 Speaker 01 It was a meaningless game, so which means English players will turn up. Declan Rice was incredible in that game because it was meaningless. English players always disappear, beat Hurricane, beat Declan Rice, they disappear in high-pressure games. Because they they simply don't have the technique to take them through. I'll tell you this, and again, we're going to go like, Joe, you're being harsh. How much money did Declan Rice cost? One thirty million dollars, right? How much money did Elliot Anderson cost? One fifty million dollars, for me?
30:44 Trevor Noah? And now they're saying.
30:45 Speaker 01 For me, listen.
30:45 Trevor Noah? And now they're saying Morgan Rogers also like a hundred and.
30:48 Speaker 01 Morgan Rogers is a winger, he's not like, he's like a ten sometimes, I don't mind him. I'm saying for me, when I look at Elliot Anderson and Declan Rice, they are two butt cheeks of the same ass. Two butt cheeks of the same ass.
30:59 Trevor Noah? Chicks of the same ass.
31:01 Speaker 01 I can control the ball better than them under pressure.
31:03 Trevor Noah? My goodness.
31:04 Speaker 01 Two butt cheeks of the same ass.
31:06 Trevor Noah? I don't I don't know what's worse.
31:08 Speaker 01 So much money.
31:08 Trevor Noah? I don't know what's worse.
31:10 Speaker 01 They cost so much money, Trevor. Now, I'll tell you this again.
31:13 Trevor Noah? Two butt cheeks of the same ass.
31:15 Speaker 01 Trevor, I'm going to take you back to the fifties. Why did England win the World Cup in nineteen sixty-six? England won the World Cup in nineteen sixty six because in nineteen fifty, England thought they were the best team in the nineteen fifties. Then they met that Hungarian team, the Magical Magas, led by Frank Puskas. And they taught them a footballing lesson. England was still playing four four two. These guys were playing three five two. They taught them a footballing lesson. A footballing lesson so painful, England went back to the drawing board. And it was like, we need to modernize our game. Now, the problem with England these days is they come to World Cup or they come to European Championship. And they perform or perform to their talents. And instead of having a long hard look in the mirror.
31:57 Speaker 01 Instead of asking themselves questions, you know what happens? Because the media has been beating up the players. The media can't go like, no, the players are mediocre. What do they do? They look for scapegoats and they blame game stats. And then it's like a vicious cycle every time. England thinks they're better than they are, underperform, blame game stats. They never take a hard look in the mirror. And go like, what do we need to change? We need to change our footballing culture. We can't build around players who are strong. Football is not about hard work. Look.
32:26 Trevor Noah? Can I, can I, can I tell you?
32:27 Speaker 01 Trevor, if I wanted hard workers in my midfield, I would go get Amazon warehouse workers. I would go get Kenya marathon runners. I would go get a cardiologist. Football is not cardio. Football, the ball should always move faster than you. That's what Pedri does. Pedri's not that fast. Rodri's not that fast. Oh, but good luck getting the ball from him. And England lacks that kind of player.
32:48 Trevor Noah? What does, what does, what does France lack right now? Because I don't know if you saw the, the, the post-game interview that Adrien Rabiot gave.
32:55 Speaker 01 Okay.
32:56 Trevor Noah? I don't know if you saw.
32:58 Speaker 01 He shouldn't be playing for France, for starters. He's not gifted enough.
33:01 Trevor Noah? It's sparked a lot.
33:02 Speaker 01 He's not gifted enough.
33:03 Trevor Noah? Can I tell you? It has sparked a lot of controversy because like, from what I've been seeing online, French fans are torn. Some are saying like, Rabiot should be the last one to speak.
33:13 Speaker 01 Yes.
33:13 Trevor Noah? Other people are saying, yes, he's calling out something that was terrible because they're saying even though. So he said that he had never seen something so disgusting and people are saying, because he didn't, you know, uh, he didn't call people out specifically. But he was, people are saying, he was commenting. On what Turkey did during the match.
33:31 Speaker 01 Okay.
33:32 Trevor Noah? So, uh, during the first hydration break.
33:34 Speaker 01 Incredible technician, Shaqy.
33:36 Trevor Noah? But during the first hydration break.
33:37 Speaker 01 I love him so much.
33:38 Trevor Noah? Didier Deschamps comes to him and says basically something to the effect of.
33:42 Trevor Noah? Move the ball along faster. That's all, like, move it along, and Turkey basically like dismisses him and just walks away, carries on doing what he wants to do.
33:49 Speaker 01 Last day on the job. I wouldn't listen to my, to my boss if he's heading out of the door.
33:53 Trevor Noah? Yeah, but still, and then Deschamps was like, it might be my last day, but you forget I've still got one more half. So he took Turkey off. And then Turkey goes and like lounges like it's a picnic, very Turkey, I'm not gonna lie, lounges like it's a picnic on the bench. And then France turned it around. You saw Didier Deschamps puts in like the real French team. They start getting goals back, they start playing, it becomes something different. But now, people are asking. It's like, it's interesting. The question people are asking is, does France also need to think about what it is trying to build towards? Versus just having the right talent to do something?
34:27 Speaker 01 No, I think France has a good team. They're just unlucky that they have a bogey team as well.
34:32 Trevor Noah? What do you mean?
34:33 Speaker 01 They have Spain, it's their bogey team. France can beat every team in the world, I feel.
34:37 Trevor Noah? Except Spain.
34:38 Speaker 01 Apart from Spain, cause Spain's style is totally at all.
34:42 Trevor Noah? So you wouldn't change anything for, for France?
34:44 Speaker 01 Here's what I would have done. And France can't do this because it's not their style. If I was facing Spain. I wouldn't have played all four attackers, cause then you have passengers. So Oris is a passenger.
34:53 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
34:54 Speaker 01 Doue, Bakola, passengers.
34:55 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
34:55 Speaker 01 Dembele is a passenger, Mbappe is a passenger. What you need against Spain is you need hard working players, like we saw today, like we saw with Kep Vard. You need poor going to work hard to chase the ball. Mbappe, Doue, Bakola, sorry, Dembele, they can't chase the ball. So what he should have done, he should have played the midfield of Kone, Kante. And maybe Rabiot and Choumeni, and then just had Dembele and Mbappe four.
35:20 Trevor Noah? As outlets.
35:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, so that every time you get the ball, you hit those space men. That's what he should have done, cause then you'd have two passengers instead of having four. You can't play against Spain when you're four men down. Why did Argentina succeed? They had one passenger.
35:33 Trevor Noah? Messi.
35:33 Speaker 01 Messi.
35:34 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
35:34 Speaker 01 Even when they went down to ten men, they still, they still held on to that.
35:38 Trevor Noah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:39 Speaker 01 Cause they were working hard as a team.
35:39 Trevor Noah? Yeah, yeah, you saw Messi on the field.
35:41 Speaker 01 Yes.
35:41 Trevor Noah? Would just stand.
35:42 Speaker 01 Yes.
35:43 Trevor Noah? By himself, waiting for the game to develop and come to him.
35:45 Speaker 01 Yes.
35:45 Trevor Noah? And then the team would play for him.
35:47 Speaker 01 That's the only way to beat Spain. So Argentina, rather, so.
35:50 Trevor Noah? I also think, I also.
35:51 Speaker 01 Every country.
35:51 Trevor Noah? I also think the mistake they made though is.
35:52 Speaker 01 Okay, you, how, what would you change?
35:54 Trevor Noah? It's not what I would change, but I think it's something that I think France maybe took for granted. And it's only it's only evident when you play against a team like Spain.
36:03 Speaker 01 Okay.
36:03 Trevor Noah? Or when you play against opposition that is closer matched to you.
36:07 Speaker 01 Yes, yes, or that are technically.
36:08 Trevor Noah? And I think in a way they got a warning shot from Paraguay, but but they didn't see it, right?
36:14 Trevor Noah? When they played against Paraguay, what did Paraguay do particularly well? They just put two men in every position to defend.
36:19 Speaker 01 Yes.
36:20 Trevor Noah? So, Olicé was up against two, Dembele up against two, Mbappe up against two. Uh, everyone is up against two, Bakula up against, Doue up against two, it's always up against two. So, yes, you might beat one, but can you beat two? You beat one, but can you beat two? You beat one, but can you beat two?
36:34 Speaker 01 Who changed that game?
36:35 Trevor Noah? The difference is, though, Paraguay didn't have.
36:37 Speaker 01 You don't remember, yeah, didn't have an outlet.
36:38 Trevor Noah? Didn't have an outlet.
36:39 Speaker 01 That game?
36:40 Trevor Noah? Who changed the game?
36:41 Speaker 01 Doue, great technician in tight spaces.
36:43 Trevor Noah? Yeah, he is, yeah, yeah, fantastic.
36:44 Speaker 01 And he beat like so many guys to get that penalty.
36:46 Trevor Noah? Right.
36:47 Speaker 01 If Doue was English, he wouldn't be anywhere near the English team.
36:50 Trevor Noah? But what I'm saying is, though, if if you look at the team, though, it's not about like good or bad. I think from when I watch it, this is how it seems. The French team, you might take for granted that every player in that team is used to playing in a team where they don't necessarily have to work as hard. So.
37:11 Speaker 01 They're the tip of the spear.
37:11 Trevor Noah? When Olicé is playing for Bayern Munich, he doesn't have to work that hard in in getting the ball. Because because they always have the ball.
37:18 Speaker 01 He has Kimich Pavrovich working for him.
37:20 Trevor Noah? They have the ball, right? They have the ball. And Harry Kane, oftentimes you'll be watching Bayern Munich and Harry Kane will be further back than Olicé.
37:27 Speaker 01 Yes, yes, yes.
37:28 Trevor Noah? You look at Dembele, Dembele has Vitinha, Jean Neves, Fabian Ruiz. He has all of these guys working for him, Hakimi, Núñez, everyone working for him on the ball, which is great. You look at.
37:39 Speaker 01 And also PSG again dominates the ball.
37:41 Trevor Noah? You look at Mbappe, everyone's working and he gets to wait up front.
37:45 Speaker 01 Tip of the spear, yes.
37:45 Trevor Noah? Tip of the spear, right? Now you had three or four players who are used to not working.
37:50 Speaker 01 Yes.
37:50 Trevor Noah? All not working at the same time, and then you notice it.
37:53 Speaker 01 I think the the comparison I drew, I I drew from France in that game was, it's like if you took a kid from the suburb to the hood. And now he's like, wait, what's happening? I thought you get milk from the fridge. And no, you need to go and forage for it in the streets.
38:06 Trevor Noah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:07 Speaker 01 That's why they didn't know how to handle that. But for me, I think France just has to be lucky. And one team knocks out Spain, then they walk to the championship.
38:15 Trevor Noah? Ah, can I tell you?
38:15 Speaker 01 Any team, anytime, anytime they don't miss Spain.
38:18 Trevor Noah? They'll, they'll, they'll walk it.
38:19 Speaker 01 France will win, yes.
38:20 Trevor Noah? I'm, I'm so excited, man, for this next generation. If it happens the way they're saying, so it'll be Zidane for France. It'll be Jürgen Klopp for Germany.
38:27 Speaker 01 Germany, yes.
38:28 Trevor Noah? It's gonna be Andrea Pirlo. Apparently, this is allegedly, I'm not saying it is, but it could be Pirlo for Italy.
38:33 Speaker 01 But he's not a good coach, he hasn't, he hasn't yet.
38:35 Trevor Noah? Yeah, but I'm just saying it's exciting.
38:37 Speaker 01 Yes, no, but.
38:37 Trevor Noah? I'm just saying it's exciting.
38:38 Speaker 01 He was an amazing technician, yes.
38:39 Trevor Noah? You know what I'm saying?
38:40 Speaker 01 He understands the game.
38:41 Trevor Noah? Um, there's one more, I feel like I'm forgetting, one more of the teams. There's just one, wow, one more name I might be forgetting. But like to see that next generation, that's gonna be like properly exciting.
38:51 Speaker 01 It's gonna be very competitive.
38:52 Trevor Noah? But that's a joke.
38:53 Speaker 01 And then for England, it's still Thomas Tuchel.
38:58 Speaker 01 Look, man, I, I, I, a player like Kobe.
39:00 Trevor Noah? And Ronaldo's gonna be at the next World Cup. Let's bet on that now.
39:03 Speaker 01 No, he won't be. I don't think.
39:05 Trevor Noah? You don't think Cristiano Ronaldo will be at the next World Cup?
39:07 Speaker 01 Jorge Jesus loves him, uh, he coached him at Al-Nassr. But I think Jorge Jesus is also very ruthless. I think he's going to build around the new crop, so.
39:14 Trevor Noah? You think so?
39:14 Speaker 01 Yes, he loves, he loves Ronaldo. They had a good relationship at Al-Nassr, uh, in Saudi Arabia. But I don't think he's, I think he's too smart. I think he's too smart. And I think because now Gonzalo Ramos, remember, has left PSG.
39:27 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
39:27 Speaker 01 He's gonna be getting playing time, so he's going to be able to claim. Part of the reason why Ronaldo kept playing was Gonzalo Ramos was always on the bench at PSG.
39:35 Trevor Noah? I mean, I hope, because if, if we're honest, there's only one player who really lost at this World Cup from this crop of names, and it's Ronaldo.
39:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, it is, it is.
39:45 Trevor Noah? You know, because, because, um.
39:46 Speaker 01 He did score a knockout goal though. That's something to take away.
39:50 Trevor Noah? A knock, a knockout goal from a penalty that really wasn't a penalty.
39:54 Speaker 01 Yes.
39:55 Trevor Noah? Come on, guys, let's be honest.
39:56 Speaker 01 Yes.
39:56 Trevor Noah? I'm, I'm saying, if you look at the names coming into this World Cup. Jude Bellingham.
40:01 Speaker 01 Yes.
40:01 Trevor Noah? Dembele.
40:02 Speaker 01 Yes.
40:03 Trevor Noah? Erling Haaland. Lionel Messi.
40:05 Speaker 01 Harry Kane.
40:06 Trevor Noah? Harry Kane. Kylian Mbappe. Even Lamina Mal, they showed up when they were on the ball.
40:13 Speaker 01 Hmm.
40:13 Trevor Noah? Yes, Lamina Mal only got one goal.
40:15 Speaker 01 Hmm. He was struggling with any hair.
40:17 Trevor Noah? Yeah, but no, no, no, forget that.
40:18 Speaker 01 Hmm.
40:19 Trevor Noah? Go and watch every moment where he's on the ball.
40:21 Speaker 01 Creating moments of danger every time, yes.
40:22 Trevor Noah? Two players have to mark him.
40:24 Speaker 01 Hmm.
40:24 Trevor Noah? He's creating chaos, he's getting corner kicks, he's doing things. And then go and watch Ronaldo's highlights and you're just like.
40:31 Speaker 01 But I told you this about Ronaldo. And for me, sometimes, again, people go like you're being harsh. If you're the greatest goal scorer the game has ever seen, which he is, right now, when you got the records. You can't go six World Cups without scoring a knockout game. Birmingham can't outscore you four times in one World Cup.
40:47 Trevor Noah? Yeah, that was crazy.
40:48 Speaker 01 That's insane. So for me, when I look at Ronaldo's record, again, great goal scorer. Ronaldo performs in the Champions League, he's Mr. Champions League. I want that Ronaldo when he puts on the Portugal shirt. I don't want excuses. Cause great players don't need excuses. So.
41:01 Trevor Noah? Yeah, but it's age, bro.
41:01 Speaker 01 No, no, even, even in his prime, even in his prime. Even in his prime, Ronaldo never delivered for Portugal. So people go like he was forty, but even when he was twenty six.
41:09 Trevor Noah? Oh, yeah, okay, okay. I see what you're saying. So you're saying regardless of the age.
41:12 Speaker 01 Yes. So it's for me, it's the same thing with Hurricane. Hurricane, you can't score three goals from open play. And the two are against Dara Congo and the other one is against Senegal. No, Hurricane, I need you to show up. When I look at Hurricane and Ronaldo, for me, they have to use a meme. We use, we use a lot in football, a copy pester. They have mastered the art of start bad, start bading against footballing midgets. You know, the casuals love it, their fans love it, uh, even the analytics guys fall for it. But I see through them. I see through them. For me, they're just tapping merchants.
41:43 Trevor Noah? So let's wrap it up.
41:44 Speaker 01 Merchants, uh.
41:46 Trevor Noah? Let's wrap it up. Uh, team of the tournament for you.
41:48 Speaker 01 Team of the tournament, without a doubt, for me, Spain.
41:49 Trevor Noah? Cape Verde for me.
41:50 Speaker 01 No, the one of Spain.
41:51 Trevor Noah? Now, for me, Cape Verde, team of the tournament.
41:53 Speaker 01 Cape Verde.
41:53 Trevor Noah? Player of the tournament.
41:54 Speaker 01 Now you see, now you see, okay, can I, can I just, you see, if England came in with the hopes of Cape Verde. They would always overperform. Because Cape Verde came in going like if you just make the knockout rounds, England is at the same level as Cape Verde. They should first admit that, then they'll be on a path.
42:10 Trevor Noah? England is in multiple semifinals, you can't say that.
42:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, they've never made a final.
42:13 Trevor Noah? So for me, team of the tournament, Cape Verde, uh, player of the tournament?
42:16 Speaker 01 Player of the tournament, I'll go with, man, you know, people will sound biased, I'll go with Messi.
42:21 Trevor Noah? Nah, I agree with you.
42:22 Speaker 01 Thirty-nine.
42:22 Trevor Noah? Nah, Lionel Messi, come on, guys.
42:23 Speaker 01 Guys, Messi is competing with kids.
42:26 Trevor Noah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:26 Speaker 01 Who was supposed to replace him.
42:28 Trevor Noah? Clearly, clearly, clearly. Player of the tournament, goalkeeper of the tournament?
42:31 Speaker 01 Uh, Unai Simon, without a doubt, Unai Simon, you know, the way he was playing, you saw him today, you were shocked by how high.
42:37 Trevor Noah? He was like a, he was like a vintage sweeper keeper.
42:39 Speaker 01 And also remember, there were doubts about him coming to the tournament. Because people were going like, yeah, but David Raya has won the Golden Glove in uh, England.
42:47 Trevor Noah? Nah, he was fantastic.
42:48 Speaker 01 Is great for Barcelona and the coach, Luis Dela Fuente, went like, I stand by my man.
42:53 Trevor Noah? Nah, he was fantastic. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go with Vozinha though, just because he had to face so many more shots.
43:00 Speaker 01 You love these underdogs.
43:01 Trevor Noah? No, no, no, no, no, I'm being serious. Like for me, like you said, if Cape Verde didn't meet Argentina, I think we're telling a very different story about them. And I think Vozinha, his positioning, his decision-making, his ball-playing ability and his composure.
43:13 Speaker 01 And also his age, if you're talking about thirty-nine year olds.
43:15 Trevor Noah? You're not wrong as well, on top of that.
43:16 Speaker 01 Forty-year-old, yeah. Vozinha did say he was single, that was funny, when they asked him in the Good Morning America interview, I went like, Forty, Vozinha, you've dropped, you've just dumped someone. I know how you move. I know how players move.
43:28 Trevor Noah? Team to look out for in the next World Cup?
43:30 Speaker 01 I think the team to look out for again, I'll, I'll, it will be Spain. Man, they're, they're such a young core. Pau Cubas is nineteen years.
43:37 Trevor Noah? I think Morocco can, can do something.
43:39 Speaker 01 Morocco is also a young team, they'll be hosting, you know, sometimes, actually, you're right, you know, I'll give it to you, I'll give it to you. But the thing is, they'll have to go past Spain and they'll have to go past France. France has their number, remember?
43:49 Trevor Noah? Yeah, man, France really has their number.
43:51 Speaker 01 Look, Morocco, I haven't been this excited about a Moroccan team since the days of, I don't know whether you remember, Youssef Chipo, Mustapha Haji.
43:58 Trevor Noah? Oh, Haji.
43:58 Speaker 01 N'Golo Kante.
43:59 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
44:00 Speaker 01 That team was the golden generation and I never thought Morocco would produce such a team. Morocco came in twenty twenty-two with a great team, most of them, Roma Seis, Roman Seis, their captain, most of their players. All of them got replaced by younger players and now the coach who is coaching them, Mohamed Ouad, who for me actually, with the Cape Verde coach, are the two coaches of the tournament. He used to manage, last year, he coached their under twenty-one team to the world championship, I don't know, their under twenty team, so he trusts the youth. And remember, he got paracuted into this world cup three months before.
44:32 Trevor Noah? Oh, yeah.
44:32 Speaker 01 So now he's going to have enough years, four years to work with them. Morocco, you're right, you're right, I concede, I concede, Morocco is going to be the team to look out for.
44:40 Trevor Noah? And.
44:40 Speaker 01 I concede on Vosnia, I concede on Morocco, yes.
44:43 Trevor Noah? Infantino?
44:44 Speaker 01 Yes.
44:44 Trevor Noah? Do you think he's gonna make it to the next world cup? When's the next, when's the next election for FIFA?
44:48 Speaker 01 Infantino is never leaving, forget about elections. Infantino is more secure than a tinpot dictator. Because what Infantino does is this, remember, FIFA doesn't allow.
44:57 Trevor Noah? He put him in a great world cup, you gotta admit.
44:58 Speaker 01 Forget the world cup, FIFA doesn't allow political interference into the running of the national federations.
45:03 Trevor Noah? Okay.
45:04 Speaker 01 And they don't do that because they want to stop the corruption of the game. They do that to actually safeguard corruption. Because they know, FIFA knows, FIFA knows, because the people who vote for Infantino, who vote for president, are the national federation presidents. So Infantino is like the godfather and he goes like, you're my capos, right? You're my street capos.
45:22 Trevor Noah? Yeah.
45:22 Speaker 01 I'll protect you so long as you also rub my back when it comes to it. Infantino is never leaving. I can't, I want him to live so badly. Guys, let's stop leaving.
45:32 Trevor Noah? If it wasn't for him, we don't get more teams.
45:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, but it's not also a benevolent thing. Remember, he expands the world cup, but he also makes ticket prices go up.
45:40 Trevor Noah? I, I, that's the one thing that's gonna change. No, but tickets, tickets are gonna go down in the next one.
45:45 Speaker 01 Ah.
45:46 Trevor Noah? You know why? Because scalping, no, but scalping laws are different.
45:49 Speaker 01 In Europe, and, and trust laws as well.
45:51 Trevor Noah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, so in, in America, you could resell your own tickles, you could have dynamic pricing. I think it's gonna change a lot.
45:56 Speaker 01 No, I think if you, if you dream of Infantino leaving, yeah, you're in La La Land. That man, we're stuck with him.
46:01 Trevor Noah? Infantino's the Spain of FIFA president.
46:03 Speaker 01 He's never lea-, but you know, not even, he's, yeah, man, he has us, he has us in a chokehold. It's as simple as that. He has us in a chokehold and we just have to make the deal with the devil. He has the game, he puts on us.
46:16 Trevor Noah? Infantino is the Spain of Shakiras.
46:20 Speaker 01 His hips, his hips do lie.
46:22 Trevor Noah? People who've got the world cup in a chokehold.
46:24 Speaker 01 No, before we go, can I say something?
46:26 Trevor Noah? Yeah, say it.
46:26 Speaker 01 Yeah. Guys, this guy here, I want to talk to you. Whatever you do, uh, if you're watching, if you watch our podcasts, if you watch our live streams, guys, get yourself a friend. And I know he's going to hate me for saying this, he probably will never forgive me for saying this, but I'm going to give you too many timeouts, don't interrupt me. You've been handing out timeouts like a dictator, I'm handing out one now. Guys, get yourself a friend like Trevor Noah. Uh, because this guy brought me from Africa, took me to The Daily Show, and he told me, normally when they bring Africans to America to work, it doesn't end well. He brought me to The Daily Show, a dream come true. Uh, Trevor helped me win my first Emmy.
47:06 Trevor Noah? Oh, man.
47:07 Speaker 01 And he spent the last six weeks paying me to watch the World Cup and talk about football, guys. Uh, if you, look, look, this is, if you're ever choosing cocktails to ride, choose very carefully. Because if you choose the right ones, you'll go far. Trevor didn't just bring me here to talk about the World Cup. Every after livestream, he used to take me aside and give me tips, give me advice. Because this was the first time I was ever being in front of the camera. First time I was ever broadcasting, and he gave me tips to become a better broadcaster, gave me tips to become a better streamer. If you saw me in their first livestream, you could see I was rough around the edges. I'm still rough around the edges.
47:44 Trevor Noah? Yeah, I was about to say, nothing's changed, Joe.
47:46 Speaker 01 But he made me a better streamer. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, if I open an OnlyFans after this, this man is to blame. Uh, but the thing I appreciate most about Trevor, and I have to say this, is despite all the advice he gave me.
47:57 Trevor Noah? Do I have to sit here for this?
47:58 Speaker 01 You have to see it, you're only two minutes, you're only two minutes, I'm going to lengthen it to five. The thing I appreciate about Trevor is.
48:03 Trevor Noah? Do I have to sit here for this? What am I doing?
48:05 Speaker 01 He tried to make me a better broadcaster, but he, one thing he didn't try.
48:07 Trevor Noah? This is why I wish I could just give myself a red card.
48:10 Speaker 01 One thing he didn't try to do was change me. He didn't try, he didn't try to make me a better listener. He knew that was a lost cause. So that's what good friends are all for. But no, seriously, guys.
48:18 Trevor Noah? We accept you the way you are.
48:19 Speaker 01 Seriously, Trevor, this has been a pleasure.
48:21 Trevor Noah? It's been dope, my friend.
48:21 Speaker 01 This has been a dream, man.
48:23 Trevor Noah? It's been dope.
48:23 Speaker 01 This has been, and you're paying me minimum wage, but I'm not complaining. I could have paid you to do this. No, guys, seriously. And I know he hates me, he's probably going to never forgive me for saying, he's laughing now. But he's going to give me, uh, what they, what did they used to call it? The hair dryer treatment once you get out, but no, guys, seriously, get yourself.
48:40 Trevor Noah? It was too much fun, man. This was great, Joe.
48:41 Speaker 01 He'll open doors for you, he'll do things, yeah.
48:43 Trevor Noah? But I told you this, we, we were in Russia together.
48:45 Speaker 01 Yes.
48:45 Trevor Noah? We were in Qatar together, now we're in America together.
48:47 Speaker 01 Now you've reminded me, you know, he has taken me to Barcelona, got me.
48:51 Trevor Noah? Think about it, bro.
48:52 Speaker 01 Trevor has, you've seen me, I'm not like, used to, I'm not someone you bring around polite company. Polite company, sorry. I'm not someone you trust around polite company. He's taken me to meet Shakira, he's taken me to meet Beyonce, risking everything.
49:04 Trevor Noah? By the way, after that, we've never met those people ever again. I'm just gonna tell you that now.
49:08 Speaker 01 They put out restraining orders, yes.
49:09 Trevor Noah? That was it.
49:09 Speaker 01 And then he put me, you made me host a livestream, not once, not twice.
49:13 Trevor Noah? My circle has shrunk over the years.
49:15 Speaker 01 This man risked demonetizing his channel. And that's what I think good friends are for, Trevor, this, this.
49:21 Trevor Noah? It's been too much fun, man. Thank you.
49:22 Speaker 01 You've done so many things, this, this was a dream come true.
49:23 Trevor Noah? Thank you, Joe. This was fun. And thank you, everyone for joining us. World Cup is done.
49:27 Speaker 01 The chat, please, stay together, they built a community, I think we have to, to thank them.
49:31 Trevor Noah? Yeah, it'll be big.
49:32 Speaker 01 They have a Discord and all that, yeah, stick together, guys.
49:34 Trevor Noah? Alright, I'm gonna go rest. This was great, Joe.
49:35 Speaker 01 You deserve it, brother.
49:41 Trevor Noah? This segment is brought to you by Febreeze. You know, everyone is talking about this being the biggest soccer summer in American history. There's more fans, there's more games, there's more kids playing, more adults suddenly deciding that they're soccer experts because they watched one match and learned what offside is. But nobody talks about the hidden cost of soccer's growth. The smell. That's right, people. More soccer means more cleats, more bags, more jerseys, more car rides home after practice, more gear getting thrown into corners and left there for way longer than anyone wants to admit. Which brings us to today's confession booth.
50:26 Trevor Noah? Joe, it's time to be honest. What is your worst odor crime?
50:32 Speaker 01 Wow, let me see. So I went to an all-boys school.
50:36 Trevor Noah? Oh, it's bad already.
50:37 Speaker 01 And I was part of the soccer team and we were all teenagers, so you talk about odor crimes, I've witnessed odor crimes against humanity. Some people lost their sense of smell during the pandemic, I lost mine long before.
50:52 Trevor Noah? Okay, I'm ready for my confession.
50:53 Speaker 01 What's your confession, Trevor?
50:56 Trevor Noah? I did not know that clothing is meant to be removed from a washing machine after it has been washed. So, at the tender age of twenty-seven, I placed clothes into a washing machine, and I pressed "Wash", and then I left it, and I left the house for three days. When I returned home, I thought that somebody had been murdered in my living room. There was no person, no murder had taken place, Joe.
51:29 Speaker 01 It was there.
51:30 Trevor Noah? I followed the smell to my washing machine, and then I was like, "Wait, did my washing machine kill somebody?" I opened the door, Joe, and the only murder was what happened to my nose. Have you ever smelled clothes that have not been removed from a washing machine after being washed?
51:46 Speaker 01 Never had the pleasure.
51:47 Trevor Noah? I had to move out of that apartment, Joe. I didn't get my security deposit back, and those clothes will never be spoken of again until this moment, right here. And that's why, my friends, this room is so confusing to me. Because despite my experience, we are sitting in a professional boot room. You see it. This should smell like every overtime game, every rainy practice, and every pair of cleats that got left in a trunk over a long weekend, but instead,
52:19 Trevor Noah? it actually smells fresh. That's because Fabreeze Fabric is designed for all the things you can't just throw in the wash. The cleats, the gear bags, the car seats, all the places where sports tend to leave a lasting impression. If your soccer gear is starting to smell like its own locker room, it's time for Fabreeze Fabric. It doesn't just mask odors, it helps fight them.
52:53 Trevor Noah? Find Fabreeze fabric at Dollar General. You nailed that. It got even fresher in here. Now I don't even know if we were in here.
53:01 Speaker 01 Did you get it?
53:04 Trevor Noah? What Now World Cup bonus episodes are produced by Day Zero Productions in partnership with Sirius XM. Executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin, Ryan Harduth and Rebecca Shane. Music mixing and mastering by Hannes Brown. Thank you so much for listening. Join us every Monday during the World Cup for bonus episodes of What Now with Trevor Noah.
53:37 Trevor Noah? Thanks again to Fabreeze for sponsoring this episode. Fabreeze is the official odor fighter of Major League Soccer. That's the point. Fabreeze fabric is for everything the game touches that the washing machine can't.
53:50 Trevor Noah? You're not changing anything. It was really fresh after the first spray. I feel like you're just, you're just having fun with the bottle now.
53:55 Speaker 01 I just have too much.
53:57 Trevor Noah? No one man should have all that power.
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