Meet Wil Sylvince - My Favorite People

On this week’s episode, comedian Wil Sylvince, one of Trevor’s favorite people, joins Trevor and Dave for a loose, funny conversation about comedy, soccer, wearing your own merch, and the strange routes people take into stand-up. A longtime friend, Wil brings the kind of chemistry and storytelling that only comes from years of friendship and life together on the road.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Trevor Noah?

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• 0:50Speaker 01

  I felt like I always thought out the box. Does that make sense? Kind of like, because I was very close to my grandmother, right? Because my dad used to always tell us like,

• 1:03Speaker 01

  everybody's equal, right? There's no such thing as gender roles. You learn how to cook, clean, wash. You know, also you learn how to fix electrical appliances. You learn how if a socket is broken, you learn what to do. You know, um, um, also my dad, my dad used to do this thing where, so you know, you know the, when the gas come into the house?

• 1:27Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:27Speaker 01

  Right? And there's a meter that.

• 1:29Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  So my dad figured out how to, to, to beat the company. He would just unscrew the thing and turn it backwards. And so now the meters would run the other way. But he made sure they go all the way down. Like, what? You guys, you guys didn't use any gas?

• 1:46Trevor Noah?

  You guys use anti-gas?

• 1:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48Trevor Noah?

  You guys use negative gas?

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Right. So he knew, he knew just the amount and the gas, our gas bill was pretty low. And, um, uh, he knew how to, also with the electric. And the cheap and the, he used, so these different, uh, fuses. He'll get the ones with certain amount of resistance and, you know.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  No wonder the white people didn't want the black people doing these things.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Look at what they're doing with their engineering knowledge.

• 2:22Trevor Noah?

  This is What Now with Trevor Noah.

• 2:30Trevor Noah?

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• 3:15Trevor Noah?

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• 3:48Speaker 01

  The difference is-

• 3:50Trevor Noah?

  But I'm saying, did you see what you did there?

• 3:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:52Trevor Noah?

  You said, "Is Haiti still in the World Cup?"

• 3:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:56Trevor Noah?

  I said, "Haiti." Then you were like, "Why'd you say it like that?" Then you said, "Dave, is Haiti in the World Cup?" Then he said, "Haiti." Then you said, "Why'd you say it like that?"

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Right.

• 4:04Trevor Noah?

  Then Sanal said, "Did you take Iran's spot?" And then you said, "Iran? Why did you say it like that?"

• 4:09Speaker 01

  Because I know you're talking about a personal place.

• 4:12Trevor Noah?

  You thought you were talking about a person?

• 4:14Speaker 01

  There's people named Iran.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  So I wanted cle- I wanted clarity.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  Haiti's in the World Cup.

• 4:22Trevor Noah?

  For the first time in 50 years.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Is that a question or a statement?

• 4:24Trevor Noah?

  Congratulations.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Congratulations.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 4:26Trevor Noah?

  Congratulations.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  You guys did not hear about that?

• 4:28Trevor Noah?

  Are you, you didn't, you barely heard about it. Do you even watch soccer?

• 4:32Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't. That's why I wanted to know. I don't watch soccer, but I heard, you know, I heard the whispers.

• 4:36Trevor Noah?

  You're supposed to, if you're from a small country like Haiti, you should just support everything they do.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  I do, I do, I do. That's, that's why I'm like, you know.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  You know what's cool about Haiti being in the World Cup? Is that it's almost like you decided as a country that, guys, being a country is hard, but I think we can get back in the World Cup.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean? Like, if we use our, our, there's too, too many, do you know what I mean? There are too many pieces, but it's like this particular, it's just to get in a tournament.

• 5:09Trevor Noah?

  I just want to apologize and say, this podcast was not supposed to start like this, alright?

• 5:13Speaker 01

  Oh, I know we started.

• 5:14Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, we started.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  I thought it was yah, but dabba doon.

• 5:16Trevor Noah?

  No, that's why, I mean, we're always yah, but dabba doon. I, I thought I was gonna start this from like a really sincere place, and we were gonna get into it, and then, but then as usual, when we're in the same space, things devolve and they go off track. You know what's actually gonna be really interesting, Dave? Maybe you'll, you'll, you'll let us know if this throws you off as the man on the street. Is it at all weird for you that Will has himself on his shirt? Cause it throws me off, I'm not gonna lie. It is very weird that I'm talking to a person, and then I, when I look down, cause you know, sometimes when you're talking to someone, you don't look in their eyes, you look away. But then I look down and then he's looking at me as well.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 5:51Trevor Noah?

  And then I look up and then you're looking at me as well.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  Well, you think this is me? You think we all look alike?

• 5:57Speaker 01

  Is that what you think?

• 5:59Trevor Noah?

  And why are you naked in the, in the top?

• 6:00Speaker 01

  I'm not naked.

• 6:01Trevor Noah?

  You're naked.

• 6:02Speaker 01

  I, I got jump ropes around my neck. I have a tank top on.

• 6:04Trevor Noah?

  You're naked. You're wearing one of those yellow, like spandex things.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  No, that's a, that's a jump, yellow jump rope around my neck.

• 6:09Trevor Noah?

  That's not a jump rope.

• 6:10Speaker 01

  That, that's a jump rope.

• 6:11Trevor Noah?

  That's one of those yellow, the, like the, you know what I mean? Like the, the, you know those things that like, who, who was like, Sachar Baron Cohen wore something like that in one of his movies.

• 6:20Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't, I don't know who that is.

• 6:22Trevor Noah?

  But the guy who played like Borat and stuff.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:24Trevor Noah?

  That's what you're wearing.

• 6:25Speaker 01

  Don't you see the, the, the ropes?

• 6:26Trevor Noah?

  I don't see ropes.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Medication? You can't see the rope?

• 6:29Trevor Noah?

  I don't see ropes at all. I don't see it. Welcome, welcome to the podcast, Will.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Oh, well, thank you for having me. I'm, I'm happy to be here.

• 6:35Trevor Noah?

  This is good, man.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is really good.

• 6:36Trevor Noah?

  What you been up to?

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Um.

• 6:38Trevor Noah?

  Did you sleep today, by the way?

• 6:38Speaker 01

  I probably got three hours, four hours.

• 6:40Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, I can tell. I can always tell when you, why don't you sleep?

• 6:43Speaker 01

  I don't know. Because I sometimes I get home, I'd be excited to go to bed.

• 6:47Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  I get home, I'm driving, I'm gonna go to bed early. Be like, be like one thirty, I'm going, I'll be in bed by two. I get home, take my stuff off, you know, get online or start watching a TV show. And I'm why, I'm wired.

• 7:02Trevor Noah?

  Okay, hold on, I'm just so I can help you for real is. Explain why it is that, no, this is legit, explain why it is that you are getting home at two.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  Oh, I do shows at night, I do shows at like one thirty, two o'clock, or sometimes I get home at three, three, three thirty, four o'clock. Because the shows go, go late.

• 7:20Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but, yeah, but I mean, we, we've, when we first met, how many years have we known each other now? What are we fif- fifteen years, maybe?

• 7:27Speaker 01

  Fifteen.

• 7:28Trevor Noah?

  Maybe even more.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:29Trevor Noah?

  Funny enough. When I first met you, like, so when I first came to New York, I met Will. Uh, at the Comedy Cellar, right? And you and I would be there until three AM, four AM, when the shows would go like. We, we, we'd run the shows all the way from seven PM until like four AM.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:46Trevor Noah?

  Right?

• 7:46Speaker 01

  So Janet to come out.

• 7:47Trevor Noah?

  Yeah. But I would go sleep. You don't sleep.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:53Trevor Noah?

  I don't understand why you don't sleep, like, what is it about, like, do you, is it like anxiety, is it like a?

• 7:58Speaker 01

  It could be FOMO, fear of missing out.

• 8:01Trevor Noah?

  Of, of what?

• 8:01Speaker 01

  Because when I was younger, we had to be in bed by ten.

• 8:04Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  Right, ten, and sometimes there was a TV show, it was like a special TV show that lasted two hours to eleven. My brothers and I would put the cover over the TV. And one would watch out for, see my parents, it's coming. And we'll watch TV till eleven and we thought, I always, maybe not we, but I always thought there was something special's happened at the, after eleven. You know, the only two times we were allowed to stay up past eleven past was uh, uh, Christmas and New Year's Eve. Because Christmas we stayed to, the, December twenty fourth, we stayed up to.

• 8:36Trevor Noah?

  December twenty fifth, yeah.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  Twenty fif- twenty fourth at night, and then when it becomes twenty fifth at twelve midnight, we open the gifts and we play for them for an hour, we go to bed. Then New Year's Eve was another time.

• 8:46Trevor Noah?

  Already all of us is, is, uh, yes.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  Sorry. I know that you're telling a story that seem is normal to you because it's your life, but but it's not that normal to other people.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  But I didn't know that though as a kid. I didn't know that. I didn't know what's going on. I should I should look at the I remember one year at New Year's Eve, I was just looking out the window. I'm like, what's going on out there?

• 9:09Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but what I want to know is, sorry, the thing that got me was you saying we played with the toys for an hour.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  We got tired. We're not used to staying up that late. And we, you know, we said, uh. Okay, go to bed, go to bed, go to bed. I want to play some more. Go to bed.

• 9:27Trevor Noah?

  Was this like a was this a typical Haitian parent thing? Or was it just like your parents who were doing this? Did you grow up in like a big Haitian community? Was it?

• 9:35Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 9:36Trevor Noah?

  Like, no, it wasn't. It wasn't like a big Haitian immigrant community.

• 9:39Speaker 01

  No, it was. We was the only Haitian family in on that neighborhood, in that neighborhood.

• 9:43Trevor Noah?

  Where did you grow up?

• 9:44Speaker 01

  In East New York, Brooklyn.

• 9:46Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, and three, four blocks away with my cousins. But we never, you know, it was hard for us to to connect like that because, you know, you know, I felt like the world was anti Haiti.

• 9:57Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but I mean, like, because most immigrant groups in the world will will sort of track the first person, you know what I mean? One person goes, they tell their brothers and sisters, hey, I came here. The next group comes, the next group comes, and then everyone starts to settle in the same place. That wasn't, was that not like a big?

• 10:12Speaker 02

  Can I ask a question? Sorry, sorry.

• 10:14Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, always.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  Back to.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  Okay, as you know, in Star Wars, is it Star Wars?

• 10:19Trevor Noah?

  Well, you're the one who just asked it and then asked us a question.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Sorry, in Star Wars, where they have that thing, as the movie starts, there there's like a.

• 10:27Trevor Noah?

  Oh, the scroll, the crawl, the crawl, I think it's called.

• 10:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  Oh, the credits?

• 10:31Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, no, no, no.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  Right at the beginning.

• 10:32Trevor Noah?

  Beginning is not the credits. I think that thing, I think it's called a crawl, I think.

• 10:36Speaker 01

  Oh, that.

• 10:36Trevor Noah?

  The Star Wars crawl, yeah, what it comes from, the empire has built out its forces.

• 10:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:41Trevor Noah?

  The rebel alliance is growing stronger, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  This, does this show, does this podcast have that?

• 10:48Trevor Noah?

  I feel like you're tricking us into.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  No, I'm asking a real question.

• 10:51Trevor Noah?

  No, it does not.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  Okay, the reason why is because you guys are talking as if that thing was going to be put in. Do you see what I mean? Haiti, for for us in the street, Haiti is not like just an easy country to deal with, you know what I mean? And not to deal with, but to. It's not like saying, I was, my parents are from France and, and, and, you know, we need some.

• 11:13Trevor Noah?

  Why did you bring France into it? You see what, you see what the French have done to Haiti?

• 11:16Speaker 02

  Because Haitians speak French.

• 11:17Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but you see what.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:19Trevor Noah?

  You see what he, you see what he did there? That was, that was what they call a microaggression, I believe.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. It's a trigger for us.

• 11:25Trevor Noah?

  That was a trigger.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  It was a trigger. I know it's a trigger. Do you know why I knew you would say something like that? Because now you're taking me off. Now you're gonna say I went off. But while we're here, this is what I'm trying to say. You guys have jumped into the conversation and you're very loving people. You've jumped into the conversation, but we don't know where you are.

• 11:43Trevor Noah?

  Okay, I'll, do you want me to do a crawl?

• 11:45Speaker 02

  Oh, yes, almost, but before.

• 11:47Trevor Noah?

  They're hard, though.

• 11:48Speaker 02

  Sorry?

• 11:49Trevor Noah?

  They're hard. Like, I'll try, I'll try.

• 11:50Speaker 02

  Completely, but just give us a bit of a setup, a little bit of your relationship with him, just so that we're like, oh, okay. This is this guy.

• 11:57Speaker 01

  He said we knew each other for X amount of years and.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  Yes, doing what? Doing shows at mid, what's, what's happening? Do you know what I mean?

• 12:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, we do, we're doing shows at the Comedy Cellar.

• 12:07Trevor Noah?

  I'm trying to think, how do you even do a crawl?

• 12:09Speaker 02

  Just a little bit, not completely.

• 12:10Trevor Noah?

  Walk up to you at a party.

• 12:17Trevor Noah?

  And then the crawl starts and you go, Will and Trevor are sitting at a table together. They reminisce on how they were friends sixteen years ago.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  From doing what?

• 12:27Trevor Noah?

  In a comedy club. They performed comedy shows at the Comedy Cellar in New York City.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  Yes, great.

• 12:33Trevor Noah?

  From seven P M. until three to four A M. Will Silvins was the kindest comedian Trevor met, and over the years, they got to know each other. Will Silvins, from a Haitian family, Haiti, a small but powerful nation that resisted the French occupation and was one of the first colonies to free itself from enslavement.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  Going a bit far.

• 12:56Trevor Noah?

  Whoa, you, you can't tell me.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  No, no. Now we know. Okay, cool. You guys are comedians. Great buddies.

• 13:02Trevor Noah?

  Have you ever watched a movie with this guy? He's the worst.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  You'd be talking during, during the movie?

• 13:05Trevor Noah?

  He does this during the movie as well.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  You talk during the movies?

• 13:07Trevor Noah?

  He does this exactly during the movie.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  I'm, I'm, please.

• 13:09Trevor Noah?

  George Lucas put the crawl because of him.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Now that we know, okay, you guys are great buddies. You you you knew each other from comedy. Now, how now you can go and you have a sleep problem. Now.

• 13:24Trevor Noah?

  But do you think it's a sleep problem?

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Now we can go into it.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  I never thought it was a sleep problem. I I you know what? I never went to the doctor for any specific reason.

• 13:30Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  I do I when I when I got older, when I found out like my white friends have a specific doctor, not just a doctor that tells you everything about your body, but the eye doctor, the lip doctor, the skin doctor. I'm like, there's a doctor for that? Like, I didn't know I didn't know that was a thing. Like, you know, a therapist. I thought therapy was just for, you know, in the black community, we just thought therapy was for crazy people.

• 13:52Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. No, no, you're right. You're right, but it's true.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  For crazy people.

• 13:55Trevor Noah?

  When we were growing up, they'd say that like in in Zulu or something, they'd just be like, you're just crazy.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:00Trevor Noah?

  There was no ADHD, there was no, do you know what I mean? Anything, autism, this, that, no, you're crazy or you're not crazy.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 14:07Trevor Noah?

  So, yeah, it's it's a similar thing in in like South African and I would argue most African culture as well.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you don't go to the doctor, you just figure things out. You just figure it out.

• 14:15Trevor Noah?

  You're sick or you're not sick.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. But what I'm saying, if you were sick, you figure out how to not to get be sick on your own.

• 14:20Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  That make sense?

• 14:21Trevor Noah?

  Or or you go to like a doctor because you're like dying sick.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  That's different. That's like, now you need a doctor.

• 14:26Trevor Noah?

  You wouldn't go to a doctor because you you can't sleep.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:28Trevor Noah?

  Yes, that I agree with.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  Because you're thinking about um other women when you're married.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  There's a doctor for that, right? Or a therapist.

• 14:37Trevor Noah?

  Therapist, yeah.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  Like a a a couples therapist. Right, which I which is crazy. I want you to talk to your wife.

• 14:44Trevor Noah?

  Because it's awkward to say to your wife that you're thinking about other women. That that's why the therapist exists.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  So you could so you could so it's not awkward when you, your wife and a person you don't know, you're talking you're talking to that person, almost like how people talk to dogs. They share strange with a dog like, hey buddy, how you doing? And you know, they talk to a dog like, is he treating you good? Is he giving you feeding you right? You ever see that happen?

• 15:07Trevor Noah?

  You know what I've noticed?

• 15:08Speaker 01

  What?

• 15:09Trevor Noah?

  People in most parts of the Western world, you know, like so in the United States and England and all these. People don't really like to talk to a stranger. But I've learned the trick is if you, especially like white people, they can get very uncomfortable if you just try to talk to them. But if you talk to their dog, they'll answer all your questions.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:26Trevor Noah?

  So I do that thing, but to the dog. So I'll be like, hey, how you doing today? And then they'll answer, oh, doing good.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:32Trevor Noah?

  And I'll be like, oh, you guys live around here? And then they'll be like, yeah, we live around there. I'm like, oh, what's your plan for today? And they'll answer on behalf of the dog. And then you use, so that's, it's the same principle. That's what therapy is. Basically, you use the therapist as a conduit.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  A dog.

• 15:45Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, so that you don't, you don't say to your partner, this is my problem with you. You say to the therapist, this is my problem with my partner.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:54Trevor Noah?

  And then the therapist can pass it on.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  Why they sitting right next to you?

• 15:57Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you become like a conduit.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Right.

• 16:00Trevor Noah?

  You know what I mean? So you can do the same thing for like sleep.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  Wait, what?

• 16:04Trevor Noah?

  I'm saying you should go talk to somebody about your sleep.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  Oh, I see what you're saying.

• 16:07Trevor Noah?

  Cause you don't sleep.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  Here's a question about sleep, a real one. Do you, are you tired?

• 16:14Speaker 01

  I, I'm tired on the way home.

• 16:17Trevor Noah?

  No, Will's always tired.

• 16:18Speaker 02

  No, I'm saying in life, like in, you know, the day.

• 16:21Trevor Noah?

  He's tired.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  I, I think something about my house energized me. Cause when I get home, I'm like, I should paint the house.

• 16:29Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but Will, you are always, I know few human beings who will sleep anywhere the way you do. I've been on the road with you. We've been to different countries together. We've been to different cities. We've driven to different states. We've driven to different, you, you name it. We've been on drives, trains, planes, everything.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:53Trevor Noah?

  Without fail. If we stop moving, you sleep.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:57Trevor Noah?

  Without fail. You sleep before the plane takes off.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 17:02Trevor Noah?

  You sleep when the plane lands. You sleep in the flight. You sleep, like, Will, you are always tired. That, and I only say this because I'm worried about you. I always go like, you know me, I can even tell you when you've slept and when you haven't slept.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Right, now you see me in planes, trains.

• 17:16Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  Automobiles, but you not have to see me in my house when I'm wired up and wired.

• 17:21Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  Fair, fair?

• 17:23Trevor Noah?

  This is true. No, this is true.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  Also, on top of it, the part I'm trying to go with, like, okay, if, if you're sleeping in places.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Is it like, isn't that just like, almost like a different way of getting sleep?

• 17:37Trevor Noah?

  No, it's a bad way of getting sleep.

• 17:38Speaker 01

  It is?

• 17:38Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, it's a, it's definitely a bad way of getting sleep. Because remember, so your sleep is divided into different stages, right?

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 17:44Trevor Noah?

  So you have, uh, rapid eye movement, that's R E M. You've got light sleep and you've got deep sleep.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:50Trevor Noah?

  The, the, the thing is, you need each period of sleep to take up a certain amount of time. So you can have a little bit of sleep the whole day, but then you're never gonna get into deep sleep. And each one is doing a different thing for your brain.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 18:03Trevor Noah?

  Right, and each one's doing a different thing for your body as well.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  I find in your brain, when you're in deep sleep, the brain get rid of the bad cells out the brain. Do you know that?

• 18:09Trevor Noah?

  How would you know? You're never in deep sleep.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  I, I, I read about it.

• 18:12Trevor Noah?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, okay. You were reading about sleep. You're like, oh, this sounds interesting. Have you, have you always had this as like a thing?

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, again, I think it comes from when I was little, I was very curious about what's, what. The whole reason why I became an engineer, I, I, I used to look at a digital clock and wondering, what is, why, how it's going from one to two to three? What's making this digital clock work? And, and I got into, you know, you know, electromechanical engineering.

• 18:36Trevor Noah?

  You know, the first time you told me that you used to be an engineer, I thought you, you were just saying this is like a, like a comedy bit.

• 18:41Speaker 01

  Because I'm black?

• 18:43Trevor Noah?

  No. No, that's, that would be the most logical conclusion. Yeah, any like immigrant, doctor, lawyer, engineer. That would be the most logical. No, I just, I just thought you were making a joke. Like, like the first time Will said to me, he was like, yeah, as an engineer, then I just thought he meant like metaphorically in life.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, well.

• 19:01Trevor Noah?

  No, because Will, I've never known you as an engineer.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 19:05Trevor Noah?

  I've only met you as a stand-up comedian.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  And engineers all see, have a, like a stereotype.

• 19:10Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, they like, they like.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  It's like an accountant has a stereotype.

• 19:12Trevor Noah?

  Yes, exactly.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  What's the stereotype?

• 19:14Trevor Noah?

  They don't wear their face on their shirts.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  That's generally how engineers roll.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  Good point.

• 19:26Trevor Noah?

  But tell like, tell me a little bit about like, young Wills Sylvans. Because you see like, that that story about you and your brothers. I feel like you grew up in the strangest world. And it's made you the comedian and the person that I know you as today. Because every every time we hang out, you tell like a new story about growing up. And I'm always like, what like, what world did you grow up in? You know, like, how? So wait, let's go back to the beginning. So your your parents were born in Haiti.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  Born in Haiti?

• 19:54Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Yep, they moved to America because of Papa Doc. You know Papa Doc?

• 19:59Trevor Noah?

  No, I don't know Papa Doc.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  Papa Doc, Francois Duvalier, he was the president of Haiti in the early sixties, nineteen sixties. And he he promised a lot of changes and stuff. And then he actually became very bad. And within a month, to like, he started killing Haitians that disagreed with him within like immediately. I wonder, how quick do dictators do that?

• 20:23Trevor Noah?

  It depends on the situation.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  When they promise to do good for the country, they get elected. Then how quick do they start like?

• 20:29Trevor Noah?

  It literally depends on the situation. Some take years, some it'll be like within a few months. I I think I think maybe, I'm not a historian, but I think maybe it has to like, Dave reads a ton of history books. Because like, he's just doesn't have friends, but like.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  That is, that is an incorrect reason.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  Which which which part? He said that so many things.

• 20:50Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no. But but I think it's, I genuinely think it just depends on the, I think it depends on the structures within the country. Maybe I'm wrong, I could be completely wrong. But I think depending on how entrenched certain like systems are in a country. That's how quickly you can turn into like a murderous dictator.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  Hmm. You know what I mean? Well, maybe that was your plan all along. And then when you got in power, you decide, because you, because dictators don't start out like, hey, if you just go.

• 21:20Trevor Noah?

  No, never, never, never, never.

• 21:21Speaker 01

  They never start out like that, right?

• 21:22Trevor Noah?

  Never, never.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  They start out like, hey, bodies, we're gonna help everybody out.

• 21:26Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, I would argue most dictators have the have the best messaging.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 21:31Trevor Noah?

  Like, I don't think there's a single dictator whose speeches you can see. Before they were a dictator.

• 21:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:36Trevor Noah?

  Where you will you'll disagree with it. They say, we need to feed the people. We need to make our land what it was. We need to, we need to rein- reinstate pride. We need, you know what I mean?

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Right, right. One thing, one, one of the campaigns Francis de Waal was running on was he's gonna, he's gonna equalize blacks, the dark-skinned blacks.

• 21:53Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Cause for so long, whites and light skins was, was like the top of the shelf.

• 22:00Trevor Noah?

  Oh, this was in Haiti?

• 22:00Speaker 01

  In Haiti, yeah.

• 22:01Trevor Noah?

  Damn.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  And even, even after Haitians won the war, somehow the colonization still seeped in there.

• 22:07Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:08Speaker 01

  And, um, and, and, and the, the white was the high, was the highest thing to be. And so Francis de Waal was like, yo, we're gonna, we're gonna kill that. The dark skin's gonna be the rulers. Uh, I'm paraphrasing.

• 22:20Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, of course, of course. I figured, I figured.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  And, um, and, and we, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna put the whites in their place or anybody that, that, you know, with that mentality.

• 22:28Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  And obviously there's more dark skins than, than whites in, in Haiti at the time. So the black people, Haitians like, yes, yes, let's do it.

• 22:37Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  You know, and then, you know.

• 22:39Trevor Noah?

  And then he flipped it and he became.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, he didn't care about that.

• 22:42Speaker 02

  The thing that I'm surprised about, actually, it's, it's an interesting question you brought, is the speed, but it is interesting that it took months.

• 22:49Trevor Noah?

  But that's, but that's why I'm saying I think it's.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  Wait, what took months?

• 22:52Speaker 02

  That he's. From, from, from, I'm gonna, I'm gonna save you to I'm a dictator.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  Well, as soon as he got elected, I think within a month, he got elected like August, that, that, something that year.

• 23:04Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  And September, he started, he started executing people.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  That's quick.

• 23:08Trevor Noah?

  That is really quick.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, yes, September, yeah.

• 23:11Trevor Noah?

  I sometimes, I sometimes, I sometimes think it's, I think, sometimes think it's a shame that.

• 23:19Trevor Noah?

  I'm, I'm gonna try and phrase this as, as delicately and eloquently as I possibly can.

• 23:25Speaker 01

  You should give it to his war and then, and then rephrase it.

• 23:28Trevor Noah?

  Oh, okay, cool. Okay, I'll, I'll do it that way. I I sometimes wish that like dictators and evil people. I wish we could use them for good because they they're very efficient.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:41Trevor Noah?

  Do you do you know what I mean?

• 23:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:42Trevor Noah?

  Like, like Papa Doc comes into power and just starts killing people. He doesn't go like, ah, man, I want to kill people, but it's so hard and, you know, there's so many things I've got to get right. And so I think of like apartheid in South Africa. When you look at what the apartheid government did in the country, it's pretty amazing. You know, like how they were able to build systems. You know that they invented new ways to create fuel because they were sanctioned by the world. So they couldn't get fuel from other countries like most countries can.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  You know what I'm looking for? You know what I'm looking forward to?

• 24:13Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 24:13Speaker 02

  Is the the non-royal version of this, but continue.

• 24:18Trevor Noah?

  No, no, but you get what I'm saying?

• 24:19Speaker 01

  Who's the they?

• 24:20Trevor Noah?

  Uh, the the the white apartheid government. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so. They were saying, they were sanctioned, so yeah, there were sanctions on South Africa.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  Allah won't do business with you.

• 24:29Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 24:29Speaker 01

  So they figure out, well, we'll figure out how to.

• 24:31Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, they were like, it's fine, we'll we'll keep the racism going.

• 24:33Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 24:34Trevor Noah?

  And we'll just figure out our own thing.

• 24:35Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 24:35Trevor Noah?

  And they developed new ways. One of the most like impressive was they found a way to make fuel from coal.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  What's that phrase? Pressure creates.

• 24:44Trevor Noah?

  Uh, pressure creates?

• 24:46Speaker 01

  Something creates you to be like when you're up against the wall.

• 24:50Trevor Noah?

  Is it pressure or is it necessity is the mother of invention? I don't know, I've never heard a pressure one.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  The one when you, when you, it's almost like a pressure cooker and it it it it figures out how to cook.

• 25:00Trevor Noah?

  I don't I don't know that one.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  I think you just thought of like coal and diamonds.

• 25:04Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  No, no, it is a it is a phrase like.

• 25:07Trevor Noah?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that I that I know of, but I can't think of like a.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Under pressure diamonds, so you guys made diamonds.

• 25:13Trevor Noah?

  Racist diamonds. They made very, very good racist diamonds.

• 25:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, out of lemons, racist lemonade.

• 25:18Trevor Noah?

  Yes, if life gives you lemons, say something racist and make lemonade. No, so so what I mean in in like a i i i in the non-royal version is this. I.

• 25:30Trevor Noah?

  I I I wish we could harness the determination that evil people have in the world to do good things. Because they never seem to be blocked by the things that like quote unquote, good people are blocked by.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  That's the same thing with with naughty children, so to speak. You know, if you, no, no, when you, no legitimate, when you're like, if you if you focus, if you use all the energy using on the bad thing to the naughty child on a good thing, it would, you know, the parents say that all the time.

• 26:00Trevor Noah?

  I, yeah, I hear you, but that's different because like being naughty is actually easier than being good.

• 26:05Speaker 02

  It is?

• 26:05Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, it's way easier. So when I was a kid, if they go do your homework.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  Right.

• 26:10Trevor Noah?

  Versus go play outside in the mud, playing outside in the mud is easy.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  Oh, oh, that, okay, I thought, there's other naughty things that's easy, like, don't put your hand in the fire, don't put the the fork into the electric outlet.

• 26:22Trevor Noah?

  These are, these are dangerous, these are not, the difference between naughty and dangerous. There's a complete difference here. No, no, so what I'm saying is like, um, like.

• 26:32Speaker 02

  I know what you're saying.

• 26:32Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, so naughty naughty kids, they're sort of choosing the easy way out. I can say this as a kid who was naughty. I was going, this is more fun and it was easy.

• 26:40Speaker 02

  Yes, that's true.

• 26:41Trevor Noah?

  What I'm talking about with the adults is it is very difficult to do like the evil things. It's actually quite difficult. When you think of the systems that the Nazis set up, you're like, man, this was so intense. You could have spent this energy like curing cancer.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 26:57Trevor Noah?

  The apartheid system was so complicated, Will, complicated. What is a black person and what kind of black person and who counts as black and who doesn't and where do people live and where don't they live and how are they treated in prison and how are they not treated? What you're saying about Haiti, like the, like, it it it's such a complicated system.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  But then, in that sense, I would say that you, they are, you you want to change their definition of what a good thing is, because to them.

• 27:24Trevor Noah?

  Yes, that's what I, that's what I wish I could do.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  They're using energy for a good thing.

• 27:28Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  In their minds.

• 27:29Trevor Noah?

  That's what, that's what I wish it could be.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 27:31Trevor Noah?

  You know what I mean? Like, if Papa Doc had that same determination, that he did the evil things with, but he did it with good, imagine where Haiti could have been.

• 27:40Trevor Noah?

  You know?

• 27:41Speaker 02

  It's like people use solar energy to power up their house, and then people use solar energy to power up their solar powered guns.

• 27:49Trevor Noah?

  I was with you for the first part. And then you, you went off completely.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  I was thinking of something solar powered that's bad.

• 27:57Trevor Noah?

  Are you sure you were an engineer?

• 27:59Speaker 01

  You know what, actually, I came up with, what year was that, ninety four? I came up with solar powered paint. So you know how solar panels are on top of your roof?

• 28:10Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  And I was still like, why don't they just paint the whole house out of solar paint? Put solar panels all over, so no matter where the sun is, it collects the energy from the sun and turn it to, you know, stored energy later. And I'm like, oh, they should just paint the house in solar power.

• 28:27Trevor Noah?

  And?

• 28:28Speaker 01

  Panels.

• 28:28Trevor Noah?

  Is that a thing now?

• 28:30Speaker 01

  It was, when I was coming up, I actually created it on paper. So the thing about technology, the hardest part is to get it to work on paper. You get it to work on paper, you forgot to get it to work in the real life.

• 28:42Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, okay.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  So I forgot how to make it work on paper. At the time, it was three coats of paint, nano ground and anther, and then paint the whole house. And then you had these huge capacitors in your basement that collects energy and stores it for later. And this other system that dissipates the energy slowly throughout the rest of the house. It doesn't, because capacitors, once you use energy, it depletes completely. So this other device that slowly released the energy to the rest of the house as you needed.

• 29:16Trevor Noah?

  This is one of those situations where I don't know enough about electricity.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  Well, actually, there's a company now.

• 29:21Trevor Noah?

  To be able to call you or not.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  There's a company now in Australia.

• 29:23Trevor Noah?

  You could be completely bullshitting me right now, and I don't know. No, no, you could be, and if you've done it, well done.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:28Trevor Noah?

  Congratulations to you, Will.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  I've been talking about it in podcasts and radio shows, blah, blah, for a long time. Then I found out there's a company in Australia, twenty fourteen, they started developing a solar powered paint.

• 29:40Trevor Noah?

  Did you reach out to them and tell them that they stole your idea?

• 29:42Speaker 01

  No, I didn't. I didn't have the money to patent it, so I couldn't afford to patent it at the time.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  Okay, question. Who are your parents? How old are they when they are?

• 29:54Trevor Noah?

  Leaving Haiti.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  Oh, early twenties.

• 29:57Trevor Noah?

  Early twenties?

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Early twenties, yeah.

• 30:00Trevor Noah?

  Wow, that's young.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, they they left Haiti early twenties.

• 30:03Trevor Noah?

  Was it easy to get out?

• 30:05Speaker 01

  No, because Papa Doc um would not let people leave. Like, you could go visit, but but you had to come back. You you know, like like in North Korea, they're like, oh, so we see what other countries did, they let let them leave. And so now, what, North Korea don't let their people leave.

• 30:19Trevor Noah?

  Right, yeah.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, so so I think places like North Korea learn from places like Haiti. Oh, no, just don't let them leave.

• 30:26Trevor Noah?

  Just don't let them go and then.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:28Trevor Noah?

  So how, wait, how did they escape?

• 30:29Speaker 01

  So the thing is, if you leave and then your visa expired and the country send you back, then Haiti were like, oh, you, oh, did you try to leave?

• 30:39Speaker 01

  This this visa expired two years ago. What would you, did you forget?

• 30:44Speaker 01

  And they're like, oh, you gotta go to, you gotta go to boot camp. Boot camp is jail.

• 30:52Trevor Noah?

  Oh, man, I'm just picturing them at the boardroom office, just being like, oh, did you try to forget?

• 31:01Trevor Noah?

  But but how did your parents get out, Rick? What did they do? Did they?

• 31:04Speaker 01

  So my, so my dad and my mom got together um because my dad was in the military.

• 31:09Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  And and the reason why my dad, they, how they met, uh uh.

• 31:16Speaker 01

  My mother's father, my grandfather, was always talking shit about Francois Duvalier.

• 31:22Trevor Noah?

  Oh, wow.

• 31:22Speaker 01

  Before he got elected, right? Because he saw, he saw it before, because Francois Duvalier was in politics. And then and my grandfather kind of said, like, look, once you, once you have a taste of that, you, it's like, once you, once you have cocaine, you're always gonna be coked up. Right? I I I never did cocaine. I'm just saying.

• 31:42Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Someone that, someone that told me.

• 31:43Trevor Noah?

  For those of us, Francois Duvalier is Papa Doc.

• 31:46Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 31:47Trevor Noah?

  No, I'm saying just so.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, Francois Duvalier, AKA Papa Doc.

• 31:50Trevor Noah?

  So your grandfather was always talking. Smack about.

• 31:53Speaker 01

  About and say yo, don't, this guy is a, you know, and people, people was against my, my, my grandfather saying like, no, that's not true.

• 31:59Trevor Noah?

  So he was like publicly saying this stuff?

• 32:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, because this is before he was elected, before Papa Doc.

• 32:04Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:05Speaker 01

  Was elected. And so he was like, don't vote for him, you know, he didn't, uh, uh, Fensel Devine didn't have one hundred percent of the votes. But there was some people that was against him.

• 32:13Trevor Noah?

  Right.

• 32:13Speaker 01

  Said, no, vote for this person instead. And then, and then, and then Fensel Devine was like, you know, no, I'm doing, going to do all these things and the, my grandfather did see through that, through, through the BS that he was spitting. And, um, so when Papa Doc got elected, um, he just remembered all the people that was talking smack.

• 32:30Trevor Noah?

  Oh, damn.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  He went and had them arrested. So my grandfather was one of those people that, that got arrested. And, uh, when my mother, my, my grandmother, my, my, the, the wife of my grandfather.

• 32:42Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, okay.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  Went to go to prison to go out and try and see him, they wouldn't let us, they wouldn't let them see him. They, for many months, weeks, they try, they try to see him. And so they got the word that they killed my grandfather. That's the, that was one of the early killings. Where he didn't just come out, start killing people, just quietly killing people. And so they started talking smack and where they were living, like, yo, they, they killed, they killed so and so, can you believe that? They killed so and so. And so, um, so, so then the word got back to Papa, like Papa, like, you know what? Go kill the whole village. I don't care about that.

• 33:15Trevor Noah?

  Wait, and they, they actually killed your grandfather?

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, they killed.

• 33:18Trevor Noah?

  Oh damn, I didn't know that.

• 33:19Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, it's, it's a long time ago.

• 33:21Trevor Noah?

  No, no, but still, I did, I genuinely, I didn't know that. I, I, I don't know why I assumed he just like lived his life and then.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:28Trevor Noah?

  Wow.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  And so then he got.

• 33:29Trevor Noah?

  So this was like a, so this was a real thing for the family then?

• 33:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so that was the, and so they got, he sent a group of soldiers to that village to go and kill him.

• 33:38Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  And my dad was one of the soldiers. And then when my, when they got to that village, they just started killing anybody. But my, when my dad got to the house, my dad was like, no, you guys gotta, he, my dad was not about that life, you know? Another thing is like. When you vote for someone and you realize they're bad, like, ah, man, I messed up. You know, and then, and then, ah, he got me too, you know?

• 33:59Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  And so, it's not like, he was a nice person, then he became a dictator. And his father's like, yeah, we should dictate, you should be a dictator.

• 34:07Trevor Noah?

  Right.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  No, they was like, ah, yeah, it was too late, you know? Um, and so, and so, my dad allowed that, that family to escape. And then they got, they got, they met at some, some, um, at a market in Haiti. And they recognized each other immediately and, and, you know, they fell in love. But my dad, my mom was like, we can't really get together because, you know, it's a conflict of interest. You, you work for the man, because also, if you was in the military, you were not allowed to leave the military. Because that's nothing that happened. When he became president and became a dictator, so many people in the military wanted to, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna work for this guy.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  But then he wrote a law saying that, well, you can't leave the military, otherwise you'll, you'll get arrested and executed.

• 34:53Trevor Noah?

  I think, I think most militaries in the world, you're not allowed to leave when you want to.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, what, AWOL?

• 34:58Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, pretty much.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:59Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, so, so it's like, um, um, so my dad was stuck. But then also, he wanted to go with my mother, and it was like a conflict of interest. Like, you know, you, you guys killed my, my dad. And then so.

• 35:13Trevor Noah?

  Phew.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  And at the time, my dad had five houses in Haiti. He was planning on opening a mechanic shop, where he's gonna fix cars and stuff. He, he was a mechanical engineer, you know? Uh, and in fact, my dad was, um, my dad would, so while he was in the military, he would sabotage some of the trucks. So they, when they sent them out to a village to go and kill people, the trucks would break down.

• 35:38Trevor Noah?

  No.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  Not close enough to the village, to the base, where they could go get new trucks. And, but not close enough to the village where they could walk. So they had to like, oh, it's close to walk back to the base. By the time they got back, they were tired. And like, we'll try tomorrow. And he would sabotage also some of the weapons, the guns would get, would jam up. You know, after a while, they started looking back, who worked on this truck last?

• 36:02Speaker 01

  So he had to like, he had to chill on sabotaging the weapons and trucks.

• 36:08Trevor Noah?

  So, so how long was he, was, was he in the military? How long was your dad still in Haiti?

• 36:13Speaker 01

  So, so once he met my mother, they started dating, they started, you know.

• 36:18Trevor Noah?

  This is like Haitian Romeo and Juliet for real.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, and, and, and they, and then my dad decided to like, so my dad told my, my mother said, hey, you know, really, we, we have no future together.

• 36:31Trevor Noah?

  Right.

• 36:31Speaker 01

  Because you're working with this guy, what, what future do you see? He killed my dad. So my dad said, well, I'm just gonna leave. And my mother, you can't leave, you, you, he's gonna arrest you, you leave. She says, no. My dad said, no, I'm gonna leave the country. My mother, like, leave the country? But you got your houses, your business, and, you know, and even if you leave successfully, your family's here.

• 36:52Trevor Noah?

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  Because, because another thing, they will, they'll come after your family.

• 36:55Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  If you leave. So, you know, they'll teach you a lesson through your family. Oh, yeah, you can leave, but your family.

• 37:00Trevor Noah?

  That's what North Korea does, apparently.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, my dad got everybody out.

• 37:05Trevor Noah?

  No ways.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  His, his family, my mother's family, the cousins, everybody out. Yeah. And he was like one of the last ones to leave. You know, because obviously, you know. And, um.

• 37:18Trevor Noah?

  This is like a, this is like a Haitian action movie meets like love story.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  I thought it was Romeo and Juliet. I thought it was a Haitian movie.

• 37:23Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, but you didn't tell me he was escaping.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  Now it's a Haitian Terminator? I be back.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Or, or better, I be back, okay?

• 37:34Speaker 02

  What were your, um, what did your dad say that? Because they came, did everyone come to the United States?

• 37:41Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 37:42Speaker 02

  What did he say? He was, what did he tell the United States government? Refugee or was it?

• 37:48Speaker 01

  At the time, the US was actually giving visas. They was accepting people. It was not like how it is now. They were letting people in if you had a skill.

• 37:56Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 37:56Speaker 01

  You know, my mother, she went to school for, to be a seamstress. You know, and she also went to school, culinary school. So she had those two skills, so it was easy for her to get a visa. You know, and my dad was a mechanical engineer, so it was easy for him to come in. And, and so you, you just had to have a skill. I, I can't remember what my cousins, or, or, or what, you know, what their story was, but, but once you had the skill, it was easy. You know, early sixties, they was accepting people like crazy here.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  You know?

• 38:24Trevor Noah?

  Damn.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:25Trevor Noah?

  So your parents come over to the US, settle in Brooklyn.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:30Trevor Noah?

  And then.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  Before that, my dad, my dad interviewed people. Cause the main places to go when you leave Haiti was Dominican Republic.

• 38:37Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Miami.

• 38:39Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  Montreal, Boston, and New York. Those are the main places. Now, there was other places like Chicago and um, but but those are the main places Haitians was fleeing to.

• 38:49Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  You know, Dominican Republic was kind of like out of the question.

• 38:52Trevor Noah?

  Well, you didn't mention New York in those, right?

• 38:54Speaker 01

  New York, yeah, yeah.

• 38:55Trevor Noah?

  Oh, you did, sorry.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Dominican Republic.

• 38:56Trevor Noah?

  Dominican Republic.

• 38:56Speaker 01

  Montreal.

• 38:57Trevor Noah?

  Montreal, Miami.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  New York, Miami.

• 38:59Trevor Noah?

  Okay, got it, got it. Okay, cool.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  So Dominican Republic was out the question, out the question for my dad, cause it's like Dominicans was anti Haitian.

• 39:06Trevor Noah?

  Okay, got it.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  They, you know, they was, they was killing Haitians also. You know, in nineteen thirty-six, there was the, so there was a word that if you could say, they would come up to dark-skinned people in Dominican Republic and say, say, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, something where you the tongue bow. Haitians can't, can't move the tongue. They say, why you do this?

• 39:25Trevor Noah?

  I shouldn't be laughing.

• 39:26Speaker 01

  You are my, I want to run down the block. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna run down, I'm going to run down the block, okay? I'll be back. So you can't say that, that word. They will, uh, Dominican.

• 39:36Trevor Noah?

  I'm not laughing at, please, please don't get me wrong.

• 39:38Speaker 01

  Oh, no, laugh all you want.

• 39:39Trevor Noah?

  No, it's the way you did it, please.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  Oh, why?

• 39:41Trevor Noah?

  Cause the situation you just laid, you just laid out was terrible. It was very terrible. But the way you did it, the way you did it, you know, when someone is recounting a very tragic story.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean.

• 39:53Trevor Noah?

  But the way he said it made it seem very funny. It is not funny at all. I want you to know that the way I reacted.

• 39:58Speaker 01

  Right.

• 39:59Trevor Noah?

  Has nothing to do with the content of what you said.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  Right.

• 40:02Trevor Noah?

  As your friend, I hope you know that. Alright, sorry. So Dominican Republic was out of the question.

• 40:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:07Trevor Noah?

  Cause they were anti Haitian.

• 40:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:09Trevor Noah?

  Okay. Miami?

• 40:10Speaker 01

  He interviewed someone from Boston and the person in Boston.

• 40:15Trevor Noah?

  This is your dad like asking other people?

• 40:16Speaker 01

  Asking people, yeah.

• 40:17Trevor Noah?

  Oh, could you say interview like?

• 40:18Speaker 01

  Interview. Well, well, you, you, you try and figure out where, where, cause. Also, you know, back in those days, people would just leave.

• 40:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  And just figure things out, you know. Uh, for Haitians, it was, you, you know, you want to leave, but let me figure, figure it out. I don't want, my dad was like, pretty like, aware and smart about things. Let me just ask a few people, see which way. His, his main thing was education and, and, um, as you, what was it? Education and, and jobs.

• 40:47Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  You know, what, what, where can he go?

• 40:49Speaker 02

  Okay, so where are the opportunities?

• 40:51Speaker 01

  Opportunities, yeah.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  So, education, opportunities for the kids, and then opportunities for the family?

• 40:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  All right, got it.

• 40:56Speaker 01

  Um, and so Montreal was not good, cause he met, he, he, he talked to someone where, where they were, they were pretty, they were pretty mean to him, I can't remember the details of it. I'm, I'm getting the story from my aunt. Um, um, Miami would just know real opportunities.

• 41:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, that makes sense.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  The weather was nice like Haiti, but it was, you know. Um, Boston was, was pretty racist. He met, he met a la- uh, um, a lady. He talked to her and her sister, and the sister's husband moved to Boston.

• 41:28Speaker 02

  And you don't have to explain, sorry, continue.

• 41:30Speaker 01

  Oh, they were, they were doctors.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  You just said Boston in the sixties. A Haitian. Should, should, is Boston in the sixties welcoming to Haitians?

• 41:45Speaker 02

  We can, uh.

• 41:46Speaker 01

  So, all three were doctors, when they went to Boston, they got reduced to nurses. So, you had to take a test. You just can't be, just cause you're a doctor in your country, you gotta take a test. And so, the test was expensive, but then, then, then, um, she found out, the lady that my dad was talking to, how racist they were, you know, with, um, the way they was treating. So, there were, one time she said there was two, two patients that got hit by a car, right? On the corner, it was a black lady and a white lady. The black lady was, was way more pain, the white lady had scrapes and stuff, and, um. The white lady asked me stay, can I stay in the hospital? I'm still not feeling well. Well, the black lady was really in pain. They discharged her early. The doctor was like, oh, you can't stay here, you gotta leave. You know, and she left, she went home.

• 42:32Speaker 01

  She was feeling bad again, she came back. Also, they didn't have ambulances back then. So the police will pick you up in a paddy wagon or in a police car. And the police took their time to taking her back to the hospital and she died on the way there.

• 42:47Trevor Noah?

  Aw, man.

• 42:47Speaker 01

  So she realized, oh, wow, they discriminating. Also, there was a lady who was, a black lady who was, she was about to get birthed. And they made her fill out all these forms and stuff and they made her walk to the room. Instead of putting her in a wheelchair and wheelchair into the room. And she got to the, she got, when she got to the room. The doctor wouldn't give her pain medication, saying these people are exaggerating. And he didn't realize, like, she was black also and saying these people. Also Haitians, when they came to America, racism was not a thing because everybody was just human beings. Is when they got here, they realized, oh. And also, another thing about Haitians, they thought like, oh, they talking about African Americans. Well, I'm Haitian.

• 43:28Trevor Noah?

  That's so funny, man.

• 43:29Speaker 01

  Another thing she think, oh, they must be talking that African Americans don't feel pain.

• 43:33Trevor Noah?

  That is so crazy.

• 43:35Speaker 01

  And then, and then she realized after so many instances. And then when it happened to her, because she told the head nurse, I'm gonna become a doctor, I'm gonna take the test. The head nurse loved her, white lady, loved her. Then when she realized that she's gonna be a doctor. The nurse, the nurse was like, what would you wanna do that for? You're a great nurse, why would you leave to be a doctor? There's no joy in that. You're doing so well here and I'm taking care of you. And then she said, well, I'll do it. So when she convinced the head nurse that, hey, I wanna take the test. The nurse said, well, listen, you'll always be a nigger. Don't think you'll ever be above me.

• 44:12Speaker 01

  She knew what the word, N word meant, you know, like, all right, you know.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  I mean, that would get you to cross it off the list.

• 44:20Trevor Noah?

  Boston? No, thank you.

• 44:24Speaker 01

  So uh, so.

• 44:25Trevor Noah?

  You know, you know what's what, as you're saying these things, the, the, the, the two thoughts that come to my mind. One is how similar the stories of racism are around the world. Like, I, I don't know what it was like, like for your dad and stuff. I don't know when, like when he came to South Africa. But I think of my mom, when my mom was um, trying to be qualified. She, she was, she was doing like a typing course and she was doing just courses in and around like secretarial skills. But then also things that required like managerial expertise. I don't know what, like what they were, she was actually studying. Cause I don't think it was like a fixed course, you know? And my mom went in and no joke, she was being qualified to do certain things that were only for managers.

• 45:07Trevor Noah?

  And the person who was her boss at the company or at this training institute said to her, what is the point of studying what you're studying? Because at the end of the day, you'll always be, and then they use the word in South Africa, kaffir. He was like, you're going to be a kaffir. So what's the point?

• 45:22Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 45:22Trevor Noah?

  But it's, it's crazy that you're saying this.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  She's also a woman, remember?

• 45:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, she's a woman.

• 45:26Speaker 02

  I'm saying so it's double.

• 45:27Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but that's what I mean. Like it's, it's, it's crazy that you, you're telling me about a story in Boston.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:32Trevor Noah?

  And then I'm going like, oh yeah, my mom told me this story from South Africa. And then the, the, the, the compounded thing of it all is the um, the pain and the.

• 45:43Speaker 02

  The time, you know who gets this kind of story is when you listen to, to like white, uh, like aspiring white rappers. They sort of tell the story as well.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  Which rapper?

• 45:56Speaker 02

  Javi.

• 45:57Trevor Noah?

  Do you hear what this guy?

• 45:58Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no.

• 45:59Trevor Noah?

  Do you hear what this guy?

• 45:59Speaker 02

  Just name the rapper.

• 46:00Trevor Noah?

  Do you hear what this guy?

• 46:01Speaker 02

  There's only one who.

• 46:02Trevor Noah?

  Do you hear what this guy just said?

• 46:04Speaker 02

  Do you hear what this guy just said?

• 46:08Speaker 02

  They do have the same story.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  It's the same.

• 46:16Trevor Noah?

  Yes, I mean, in many ways, white rappers are the black women.

• 46:23Speaker 01

  Oh, you said white rappers?

• 46:24Trevor Noah?

  Of rap.

• 46:25Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 46:27Trevor Noah?

  Everyone said to them, you don't belong here. You're never gonna be nothing.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Yes. Some of them rap well, but we're like, but you're right.

• 46:36Speaker 01

  Oh, man. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Can we pause my story real quick? So wait, that were people from Africa go, migrated to South Africa?

• 46:44Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  Even though they knew how they were treating the blacks?

• 46:47Speaker 02

  It's a complicated story.

• 46:51Trevor Noah?

  But they were.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  Because we didn't know how they were treating the blacks in America. We didn't know that.

• 46:56Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 46:56Speaker 01

  So Haitians would go to America, but but you guys knew how they were treating South Africans.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  No, but remember they had the the number one of, because I didn't want, you don't want to make it like a dictator off. But Papa Doc versus Idi Amin.

• 47:09Speaker 01

  It sounds like you're making a dictator off.

• 47:10Trevor Noah?

  But he's but he's not wrong.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  Papa Doc versus dicta versus Idi Amin.

• 47:14Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  Who's the real G here? No one knows Papa Doc. I had to tell people. Francois Dubois, Idi Amin, people know him. So if you're escaping Idi Amin, apartheid is is.

• 47:27Trevor Noah?

  Racism is almost charming by comparison.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  In a in a way.

• 47:30Speaker 01

  It's it's playland.

• 47:31Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 47:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, because oh, because these.

• 47:33Trevor Noah?

  You're just going to say bad things to me. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Does this interaction end with me still alive? Ah, ah, ah, ah. Wow. What a quaint form of hatred this is, eh?

• 47:47Speaker 01

  Ah, okay, that makes, okay, that makes, my dad should have gone to South Africa then.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, could have, could have.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  And and so um, once she realized how bad it was treating, like, not just Haitian, uh, black people, Haitians as well. She moved back to Haiti.

• 48:03Trevor Noah?

  She moved back to Haiti?

• 48:05Speaker 01

  But she would, my dad actually talked to her in Haiti.

• 48:06Speaker 02

  Yo, what?

• 48:07Speaker 01

  Because her thought, her thought was, well, as long as I stay out of polit, the thing about Haiti, as long as you stay out of politics, Papa Doc won't mess with you. People was going to the movies, just have a good life.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  You know what an indictment this is of racism in Boston, that this person was like, I'm going back to Haiti. No offense to Haiti, but yo, Will, what?

• 48:25Speaker 01

  A number of people came back.

• 48:25Speaker 02

  You're saying Haiti is going through the worst period ever, where thousands of people are being killed. And this person was like, goodbye, Boston. I am going back to Haiti.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, she went back to Haiti and she was actually selling things at a market.

• 48:37Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  And that her sister was sending her to Haiti to sell, like, products they didn't have in Haiti. There was, so she just went back. She said, you know what? I'll just stay out of politics. I won't even talk about politics.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  Who's this again? Sorry, just follow.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  Just a lady my dad interviewed about about Boston. Should he go to Boston or not?

• 48:53Speaker 02

  Great.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  You know, and then.

• 48:54Trevor Noah?

  Damn.

• 48:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, so he actually talked to her, a- a- and um, and um, the Toto Makut, you know Toto Makut?

• 49:01Trevor Noah?

  No, what is that?

• 49:02Speaker 01

  So when, when Papa Doc became president, uh, he, he, most of the presidents, they get, they got ousted by a coup.

• 49:10Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  So he got smart, he's like, you know what, I'm gonna get the, my own secret service.

• 49:14Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  And they call him Toto Makuts. And the thing with Toto Makuts, they would, they would blend with the people in the streets, so you know who was the Toto Makut. So they, they'd, they'd be listening, see if you're talking about Papa Doc, or talking about, you know, you know, and they'll, and they'll shoot you right there on the, on, in the street. So there was a time when my dad was talking to this lady in Boston at the market, and then, and then he heard, he, he, he, they thought they saw someone that, the Toto Makut, and, and then the guy said, hey, don't move, stay right there. And so he's talking to this lady like, oh shit, oh shit. And then he went past my dad to someone else, and they got him on the floor and say, hey, what you think you're doing? What you think you're doing?

• 49:55Speaker 01

  And then it wasn't, it wasn't my dad. So they learned not to talk in, in the streets anymore like that.

• 50:01Trevor Noah?

  This is a, this is a crazy time. I mean, I'm, I'm picturing your dad, I'm picturing your mom, planning to leave.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  Toto Makuts?

• 50:09Trevor Noah?

  Toto Makuts, which again, it, it, it's, it's really wild that every single authoritarian regime around the world has the same playbook.

• 50:17Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 50:17Trevor Noah?

  People in the community who listen to you, spies, spying, like, family spying on family. Oh, same in Russia, same, you know what I mean? Any place that there's been like an authoritarian regime.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 50:28Trevor Noah?

  The same rules apply.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 50:31Trevor Noah?

  The government finds ways to get the people to spy on each other on behalf of the government, so that you don't trust each other. And if you don't trust each other, then the only thing that has absolute power is the government.

• 50:45Speaker 01

  Same way with America, house negros and field negros.

• 50:48Trevor Noah?

  Today more?

• 50:49Speaker 01

  So, so if you, if you're a slave owner in America, right?

• 50:53Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 50:53Speaker 01

  You got your wife, you, your, maybe two kids and a dog. But you have eighty slaves. How you, how you put, how you get, how you, how, how you get protection from eighty slaves from storming your house? What you do is you divide them, you, you reward.

• 51:08Trevor Noah?

  Oh, yeah, divide and conquer, yeah, yeah.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  You, you reward the ones that, that tell you, hey, they must, they planning on coming to your house tonight or leaving the field and, and so, so that, oh, good, good, you get to sleep in the house. Oh, thank you, my, I get to sleep in the house, you know?

• 51:20Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 51:21Speaker 01

  And so the, the same thing, so that was their tota makuts. The house, the house Negroes.

• 51:27Trevor Noah?

  Damn.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  Dave, can you say the other N word for me, please?

• 51:30Speaker 02

  The which word?

• 51:31Speaker 01

  House Negroes is.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I was just thinking, well, I mean.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  You're thinking that?

• 51:36Speaker 02

  No, no, the, the way I was thinking, I was thinking that I would have been a.

• 51:41Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, what would you have been, a house Negro?

• 51:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would have probably been house.

• 51:45Trevor Noah?

  A house Negro? No, you wouldn't, he, he says that.

• 51:47Speaker 02

  No, no, the thing, you know why?

• 51:49Trevor Noah?

  Why?

• 51:49Speaker 02

  It's just. At that, and I'm being genuine now.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  Uh, like. I don't know if you could have convinced me.

• 52:03Speaker 02

  To forego. Like comfort.

• 52:07Trevor Noah?

  I don't think this is true. I don't think you know yourself well enough.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  I think pressure make diamonds.

• 52:11Trevor Noah?

  You are too, you know, no, this guy, did you just remember the quote now? This guy just remembers the quotes like deep in the conversation. I think pressure makes diamonds. You've been waiting to say that, now that it came back to you. No, so he, he has, he says that. But here's why I disagree with you. I don't know anybody who is more charitable than you are. I don't know anybody who's more helpful than you are. I don't know anybody who is like friends with more homeless people than you are. And look, I don't know everybody. But what I, no, no, no, but what I'm saying is you say that about yourself.

• 52:42Speaker 02

  But I'm having a comfort time.

• 52:44Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, I hear you, but I don't think, I think you are more like revolutionary than you.

• 52:50Speaker 02

  Okay, maybe it should be this. Maybe it should be this.

• 52:52Trevor Noah?

  I genu-, and I genuinely, I don't, I'm not even saying that to gas you up. I just, I don't think you'd be that guy.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 52:57Trevor Noah?

  I think you would be, you would be there helping formulate escape plans.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 53:02Trevor Noah?

  With people.

• 53:02Speaker 02

  But, okay, okay. Maybe, cause we don't know, but I'll say this, is when I was offered it. I'll say that.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  You know when you were offered what?

• 53:12Trevor Noah?

  When it was this? What are you talking about?

• 53:14Speaker 02

  When they make me.

• 53:14Trevor Noah?

  How old are you? What is happening here?

• 53:16Speaker 02

  What I'm saying, cause when they come to me and they say, can you spy on the rest?

• 53:20Trevor Noah?

  Okay, got it, got it.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  Cool, when I'm offered it, some people would be like, hell no. Others would be like, yes, definitely.

• 53:27Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 53:28Speaker 02

  Okay, give me this much.

• 53:30Trevor Noah?

  Wait, wait, wait, I wanna hear his ending. Yeah, I wanna hear his ending.

• 53:33Speaker 01

  Wait, wait, wait, let me just say the third. The, uh, yes, I'll be a spy, but actually I'm spying on you to, to tell them information.

• 53:40Trevor Noah?

  Okay, the double agent.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  The double agent, yes. I'll say, okay, I'll do this. Can I, can I think about it? So, if, you see what I'm saying? If it's.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  You think they were like, hey, look, listen, listen here, Edward. You got two weeks to think about this offer I'm giving you.

• 53:59Speaker 02

  Can I come back?

• 54:02Speaker 01

  You got two weeks, Negro.

• 54:03Speaker 02

  No, that's, so I'd be at least, so I'm my, cause remember I'm minding my own business, then I get called. I get called in.

• 54:10Speaker 01

  You think picking cotton is minding your own business?

• 54:12Speaker 02

  No, I'm not, I, no, don't do this.

• 54:15Speaker 01

  Picking cotton, mind my business.

• 54:16Speaker 02

  No, no, no, don't do this, because this is a very delicate subject. Just, no, no, no, no. I'm saying, no, don't do that. I'm saying, don't do that. I'm saying that my own personality, I don't think that I would directly be this revolutionary that you think. And maybe, maybe, you know, I would. But what I'm saying that certainly, when you make the offer, I wouldn't, I would, I would have to think about it. And then maybe to gather myself, gather myself, then I'd come back and say, no, I can't do this. I have to be, I can't. So now, cause I'm not making light of the issue.

• 54:58Speaker 02

  Because that, because whenever I read about people who do these kind of things, who go against the system.

• 55:05Trevor Noah?

  The Totem Akuts, oh, no, no, the people who go against the system.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  Yes, Harriet Tubman, Nelson Mandela, these kind of people. Like, you know, no, cause you genuinely go, oh, you know, like if, you're like, wow, would I do it?

• 55:18Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  And then if, cause would I do it if I had the offer of not, you see what I'm saying?

• 55:23Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:24Speaker 02

  Is if I, if I didn't have an option.

• 55:27Trevor Noah?

  Yes, if I was offered an easy life, in exchange, in exchange for the hardness of my people, would I take it or not?

• 55:33Speaker 01

  I don't think it's worded that way at, at the moment. I think it's like, hey, go clean my, go clean my bed.

• 55:38Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, no.

• 55:39Speaker 01

  And then they clean the bed, oh, you did a good job, Missy. Well, you know what? Eh, or, or maybe a, a slave saw another slave, were you supposed to be leaving? I'mma tell master. And he go, went and told master, I'm like, oh, thank you for telling me, Rufus. You know what? You get to sleep in the house. May- maybe it wasn't offered, maybe it was a, another slave did it because they're like, you gonna get us all in trouble.

• 55:59Trevor Noah?

  I think, I think, I think all of those things are probably true. I think all of those things are probably true at the same time.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  You think slave, slave master just came and offered them?

• 56:06Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, no. I think all of them are true at the same time. I don't think there's one.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  A basketball deal?

• 56:10Trevor Noah?

  I don't think there's one fixed example. Does that make sense?

• 56:13Speaker 01

  Right.

• 56:13Trevor Noah?

  So I don't think there's one. I'm sure there, there are some that were implicit. I'm so, sure there were some that were explicit. I'm sure there were some that, does that make sense?

• 56:21Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 56:22Trevor Noah?

  And I think that's how these.

• 56:23Speaker 01

  So, there's no rhyme or reason to what, what slave owners did.

• 56:27Trevor Noah?

  No, I, the, the reason I think is, is, is pretty, uh, obvious. You know? You, you, you become very rich and very powerful and you don't pay the people around you.

• 56:37Speaker 01

  Right. Well, the, the main thing I said was how you get eighty people from watching your house.

• 56:41Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, but what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, I think it's a combination of things. Right? When you terrorize people, one of the things about terror that makes it particularly powerful is you need very few acute acts to have a long lasting effect on a group. Do you, you get what I'm saying?

• 56:57Speaker 01

  To, for the fear.

• 56:58Trevor Noah?

  That, that's, that's, that's another reason authoritarian regimes have very public floggings, very public beheadings, very public. All of you have got to see what we do to somebody who steps out of line. And, and you just need to cut off a few people's heads or hang a few people or stone a few people for everyone to now be like, ah, man, we gotta get in line. You, you get what I'm saying?

• 57:25Speaker 01

  When my parents used to whoop one of my brothers who didn't do their homework and be like, oh, I better do my homework.

• 57:30Trevor Noah?

  I mean, that's one way to think of it, yes. That is. We're gonna continue this conversation right after this short break.

• 57:39Trevor Noah?

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• 58:23Trevor Noah?

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• 59:07Trevor Noah?

  And then, the next thing I know, I'm watching an interview with a woman who trains parrots. Twenty minutes later, I know the average lifespan of a macaw. I've forgotten where I'm supposed to have dinner, and I'm wondering whether I have what it takes to raise a bird that might outlive me. Enough with digital rabbit holes. Thankfully, my Google Pixel eleven is designed with Gemini Intelligence. Helpful suggestions pop up right in the text thread when I'm making plans, proactively pulling up restaurant details, calendar availability, or live-flight info. The info you need, right when you need it. Learn more about what the Google Pixel eleven can do at googlestore.com. These AI features are available in select countries and languages for users eighteen and older. Make sure to check responses.

• 59:53Trevor Noah?

  I think one of the things you realize when you start caring about clothes is that simple doesn't have to mean basic. Because a t-shirt is a t-shirt. Until you find the right T-shirt. Ooh, then suddenly you're talking about the cut, the fit, the weight, the way it falls on your body. Then you're like, no, no, no, you don't understand. Look at the sleeve. And that's what I've really enjoyed about Quince. One of my favorite things is their Pima Cotton Lux Touch T-shirts. And it's become one of those pieces I keep reaching for. The cotton has this really smooth, premium feel to it. The fit is great and it just lays really nicely. And I think that's what you sometimes take for granted with simple clothes. When they're done really well, they become the foundation of an entire outfit.

• 1:00:38Trevor Noah?

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• 1:01:24Trevor Noah?

  So wait, wait, but let's go back because I want to get to like how we get to this, Will Silvins. So your dad gets everyone out of Haiti. He's chosen, he's chosen New York.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  New York because the job opportunities and he feel like they're very fair to everybody.

• 1:01:39Trevor Noah?

  Okay, cool. So your dad comes out, your mom comes out, now you guys are in Brooklyn. Which, where are you in the brothers? How many brothers?

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  Four brothers. I'm third.

• 1:01:47Trevor Noah?

  You're third?

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:01:48Trevor Noah?

  Okay, and so were they, were you all born in the US?

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  No, two born in Haiti.

• 1:01:53Trevor Noah?

  Damn, so your mom had to come with kids as well? Wow. How different are you from the Haitian brothers? I'm not saying you're not Haitian, I'm just saying like from the like

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  From the

• 1:02:03Trevor Noah?

  From the born in Haiti brothers.

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  I don't know, I felt like I always thought out the box, if that makes sense? Kind of like, because I was very close to my grandmother, right? Because my dad used to always tell us like, anybody's equal. Right, there's no such thing as gender roles. You learn how to cook, clean, wash, you know. Also, you learn how to fix electrical appliances. You learn how if a socket is broken, you learn what to do, you know.

• 1:02:36Speaker 01

  Also, my dad, my dad used to do this thing where, so you know, you know the, when the gas come into the house?

• 1:02:43Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  Right, and there's a meter that

• 1:02:45Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay.

• 1:02:46Speaker 01

  So my dad figured out how to beat the company. He would just unscrew the thing and turn it backwards. And so now the meters would run the other way. But he made sure they go all the way down, like, what, you guys didn't use any gas?

• 1:03:02Trevor Noah?

  You guys used anti-gas?

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:04Trevor Noah?

  You guys used negative gas?

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  Right, so he knew, he knew just the amount and the gas, our gas bill was pretty low. And he knew how to, also with the electric, and the cheap and the, he used, so these different fuses. He'll get the ones with certain amount of resistance and, you know.

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  No wonder the white people didn't want the black people doing these things.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  Look at what they do with their engineering knowledge.

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  Well, look what they're doing to us now.

• 1:03:35Trevor Noah?

  Oh, man, there's all the people in Boston watching this podcast and they're just like, what I tell you about them Haitians? Now you see why we didn't want them here.

• 1:03:43Speaker 01

  Well, wait, look what they're doing now. The AI companies building these massive places and they charging the people for the electricity. You know about that, right? So your dad was getting revenge?

• 1:03:53Trevor Noah?

  Before the He was he was getting future revenge on behalf of humanity.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  And so my dad was like, everybody got to learn everything. So I know how to sew, I know how to cook, I know how to fix electrical stuff. And um, and so my dad used to always say, you know, if you if you have a good woman in your life, whether she's a a girlfriend or a relative or friend, always pay, you know, if you got to always pay because the world treat women like shit. And they don't realize women are really the the one, the backbone of society. And so I I'm so I was so close to my grandma because of this. You know, my grandma was also also nice. So, you know, I was probably going to be close to her anyway, but my dad saying that and putting that into us.

• 1:04:41Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:42Speaker 01

  About treat women, you know, treat women with respect and all that. At as as a kid, I respect, what does that mean? You know, like, I'm not gonna hit my grandmother. I'm not gonna curse her out. You can't curse, you couldn't curse to, you know, you couldn't even curse to your friends when your parents was around.

• 1:04:58Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  Your ass whoop, you know, um, so um, I just remembered that, you know, and and um, and I became close with my grandmother. So when actually my grandmother died, I was the only one at the funeral not crying. Cause I was like, you guys didn't see this coming? She was old. You know.

• 1:05:15Trevor Noah?

  Is that how your brain processed it?

• 1:05:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, like, yeah, guys, like, yeah, you guys, you know, she was old, right? You know, this is gonna happen.

• 1:05:21Trevor Noah?

  How old was she when she passed away?

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  Sixty five.

• 1:05:26Trevor Noah?

  Alrighty. Well, yeah, I don't know how to put this to you, but that's not particularly old.

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  For black people, that's like ninety five, ninety eight.

• 1:05:38Trevor Noah?

  But that's not really not that old.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, my mother, well, then if you think that, if you think that's bad, my mother died at fifty five, my dad died at fifty five. My my grandfather got shot at fifty five, well, allegedly, if Papa Doc come back in power, um.

• 1:05:54Trevor Noah?

  Everyone at fifty five?

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  Everybody died at fifty five.

• 1:05:58Trevor Noah?

  Mom and dad passed away.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  My, my dad. My dad had a chest cancer, but he never smoked. So what happened was, you, you heard of Drystan to clear your nose.

• 1:06:12Trevor Noah?

  The spray?

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  The spray.

• 1:06:14Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  So he, so one, one day he had a cold, he took Drystan. And but the thing with Drystan, when you take it, it'll clear your nose.

• 1:06:22Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  You're actually breathing more, better than when you without.

• 1:06:25Trevor Noah?

  Before you got sick.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. And um, the thing about Drystan, after a while, your nose get clogged up, you gotta let it clog up all day and you, you get your breathing back. But my dad kept taking Drystan.

• 1:06:37Trevor Noah?

  They call it rebound.

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you know, when they, in the eight, eighties, they had the shirts with the pocket right here.

• 1:06:42Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  So he kept the Drystan in his pocket.

• 1:06:44Trevor Noah?

  Oh, man.

• 1:06:45Speaker 01

  And just kept taking it.

• 1:06:46Trevor Noah?

  Oh, man.

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  For many years.

• 1:06:48Trevor Noah?

  That thing is, till even now, like, all those nasal sprays. If you're on it longer than I think, like fourteen days, maybe even less, you're in big trouble.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  Well, talk about ten years, ten years, maybe seven years, seven to ten years, my dad was, you know, taking it.

• 1:07:03Trevor Noah?

  He just needed that to breathe at some point.

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  He just, yeah, he just, he just kept taking it every day and then, you know, he developed a form of cancer in the chest. But they, you know, the, the doctors never tell you, you know, they just wanna know if you got money.

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  That's not funny?

• 1:07:19Trevor Noah?

  No, I mean, it's not in this moment.

• 1:07:22Speaker 01

  And then my dad, my mom died of a, of um, she, she had moved to Florida, she came back to New York. And she got stung by a bee and she developed an allergic reaction, she had a stroke and um, yeah.

• 1:07:36Trevor Noah?

  Damn, I'm sorry, man. That's a, that's a crazy period to go through. For you and your brothers, it's like, how, how far apart were, was it between your parents dying?

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  Oh, like ten years, a, a, also, no, no, like seven years. Also, my, my um. When my mother died is when I realized the truth about hospitals. Cause I, I used to always think hospitals and doctors and nurses, well, not, not nurses are still amazing, but. They were all about wanna help and save people.

• 1:08:06Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  So when my mother had a stroke. And she was in a coma. She went, she went in coma. And she was, she had, she went without oxygen for like, I think like eight, eight to thirteen minutes. You know, by the time they called the ambulance to the house and they, they. Resuscitated her. And um, but she was without, so she, they was not sure if she do come out of the coma. Yeah. How much brain activity she'll have. So, so we, my brothers now were at the hospital. And the doctor came out and say, hey, uh, your mother's in a coma, but we're not sure how long she's gonna be. We're not sure how much brain activity she has, but she cannot stay here. She could, oh, no, no, first he said, uh, you guys have insurance? Said, no, we don't have insurance. He goes, you cannot, she can't stay here.

• 1:08:51Speaker 01

  She gotta leave. She can't stay here. Um, and then, and then he kept, this went on for like five minutes, he about, she can't stay here. Then we said, well, can we just find a place? So my brothers and I went, went back to the house, went through my mother's paperwork. And we found she had insurance. Through a credit card. She had insurance, as long as she uses credit card, she has, I think, a, a, a million dollars worth of insurance. Wow. So we went back to the hospital the next day, we say, yo, the doctor, doctor came, might said, did you find a place for your mother to stay? We said, yes. Oh, uh, also do, we showed him the paperwork. Do you think this, this facility will take this insurance? He looked at the paper and lie, he goes, your mother can't leave. If she leaves here, there's a risk of her dying.

• 1:09:39Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, okay. Oh, man. Like, like, we knew what was happening, but at the same time, like, what if he's, what if it's real? Right? Cause the first thing he said, did you find a place for your mother? Yeah. Look at the paper, she can't leave. Okay. So she's, she stayed at the hospital to like eight months and the doctor was like, the money was running out. Your mother can't stay here.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  That's not funny.

• 1:10:04Trevor Noah?

  Man.

• 1:10:04Speaker 02

  No, I mean, it's it's insane.

• 1:10:06Speaker 01

  Too soon. So then we found a place for us to stay. We moved into this facility. Um, uh, this home and um, and then me and my brothers had a talk like, man, you know, this happened to me, dude, pull the plug like there's no brain activity like I don't want to come back. You know, I can't say hello. I can't, I can't, I barely could blink like, dude, pull the plug. Let me, let me leave. So once we all decided that, we just said, yo, so we, we unplugged. I think she, she passed away like later that day or day later.

• 1:10:41Trevor Noah?

  Damn.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:47Speaker 02

  No wonder you can't sleep. This stuff you're telling us.

• 1:10:50Trevor Noah?

  I mean.

• 1:10:53Speaker 01

  That's not funny. I thought it was funny.

• 1:10:54Trevor Noah?

  Oh, I mean, it's very funny. I'm still, yeah, I, I, I don't know.

• 1:11:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:01Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, I, I don't know. I'm trying to put myself in your, in your shoes in some of those moments and, and process it.

• 1:11:08Trevor Noah?

  I, I can't imagine what a lot of that is like.

• 1:11:10Speaker 01

  So after that experience with the hospital, I'm like, doctors are full of shit. Hospitals are full of shit. It's just all about money. It's all about business. But then I met some amazing nurses. They, they, nurses really want to help. I'm not saying all doctors are like that, but, but, but that doctor, he, you know what I'm saying? He, he, he wasn't about that.

• 1:11:31Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, the, the thing, the thing that's tough from everything I've read, let's say specifically in American healthcare, it's, it's funny because it, it depends on the country you live in. Um,

• 1:11:46Trevor Noah?

  in, in South Africa, when my, my mom was shot and we were in the hospital, they said the similar thing to me. They said, uh, Does you, does, does she have insurance? And I was like, I don't think she has insurance. And it was so crazy because my mom, she always had insurance. And then, I wanna say like six months before the incident. She was like, I don't need insurance. She's like, this makes no sense. I'm just paying for this thing and nothing happens. Then I said, that's what insurance is for. It's not, if something, it's, it's because something might happen, not because it does happen.

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:12:19Trevor Noah?

  She was like, no, I don't need insurance.

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  My friend who gave up his, um, fire extinguisher, he said, yo, I don't, I won't use this. You could, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna hold on to it? We could, we could, I, I have it for one month, you have it for one month. Like.

• 1:12:33Trevor Noah?

  So, um, so I'm in the hospital and, and they said the same thing. They said, yeah. We, uh, it was the closest hospital to where it happened. And then they were like, oh, we, we've got to move her. And then the hospital they were gonna move her to was gonna be like forty five minutes to an hour away.

• 1:12:48Speaker 01

  Oh, damn.

• 1:12:50Trevor Noah?

  And I was lucky that I, I was like, I'll just, I'll pay. I was like, I've got a credit card. I'll, I'll just pay. And they were like, oh, it could cost a lot of money. I was like, yeah, it's my mom. I'll never forget that interaction with the doctor, cuz I was just like, what? The, the way, you know what I mean? The way he said it to me was very like, he's like, he's like, oh, it could cost a lot of money.

• 1:13:08Speaker 01

  It's like a leather jacket. You know how much a leather jacket costs? Yeah. I was like, yo, brother, it's my, it's my mom. Yeah.

• 1:13:13Trevor Noah?

  And he's like, okay. And he was still like, oh, I mean, all right.

• 1:13:20Speaker 01

  Your mother was white, would that, would he have said that?

• 1:13:23Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, I'll be honest with you. That's, that's the one thing that I find has now united people a- across color lines. And that is that like, the medical industry in many places in the world has become one

• 1:13:38Trevor Noah?

  that has allowed itself to become so controlled by money.

• 1:13:43Speaker 01

  They don't care about.

• 1:13:43Trevor Noah?

  That it doesn't necessarily allow them to care about health first, right? And, and in, in America, it's interesting, right? So in America, how it, how it works, not everywhere, but in a, in a, in a lot of America is. There are companies that have bought out doctors' practices. So the doctors don't even sort of work for themselves anymore.

• 1:14:05Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:14:06Trevor Noah?

  And then there are also companies that own hospital groups. So the hospitals also are part of a company, right?

• 1:14:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:14:14Trevor Noah?

  And then they need to make money. And then the doctors that are in as part of this thing, so they feed into the hospital. They're also, their money is also going somewhere. So the doctors working a lot, but they're not necessarily earning the money of working a lot. Right? And then the hospital is in cahoots with certain providers for certain procedures or certain medicines. And so, and it just becomes this weird world where everyone seems like they're being held hostage by somebody else. But they're also the hostage takers. I, I, I don't know, I don't know if I can explain this. It's, it's like, it's like a weird rabbit hole where like the hospitals themselves will be like, we're barely making a profit. And the doctors will say, we, we barely make any money and we work, we work countless hours.

• 1:14:55Trevor Noah?

  And then the people who are in the hospitals are like, we don't have any money and we're treated like shit. Or we spend all our money. Who's making the money?

• 1:15:03Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:15:04Trevor Noah?

  And it's generally these big organizations that are, um, that they've designed systems that put an undue pressure on the medical industry. And unfortunately, the stories are a lot like what you're saying.

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  So who, who's, there's got to be somebody up top, right? Like, like, it's, it's true like a company, like there's a CEO.

• 1:15:24Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but it's generally the big, the big companies. Like, there's a few, I, I don't know them by name, so I won't like say the wrong one and then, you know.

• 1:15:30Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:15:31Trevor Noah?

  Get in trouble or whatever. But I, no, no, but I know this big.

• 1:15:33Speaker 01

  So it's one like a, like a.

• 1:15:35Trevor Noah?

  Yeah. Yeah, the, no, but there are actual big companies that own these groups. And they, and they're trying to consolidate more and more. And that's what's leading to the systems being worse and worse and worse and worse. But then there's also weird things in American medicine, like. Um, like when it comes to prescription medications, for instance, you have these things called pharmacy benefit managers, I think it is, I think it's pharmacy, yeah, but. But basically what they do is they're like the middleman between you and your prescription. But they can also like decide a price that your insurer pays. Which also determines the price that you pay, which also determines the price of the medicine and it determines the price of what the medicine maker is getting. It is as convoluted as I'm, as I'm saying it right now. You know what I mean?

• 1:16:19Speaker 01

  It's not like it was in demand, like, like when you buy, when you try to buy a ticket to a concert.

• 1:16:24Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:24Speaker 01

  Right? You, you realize that they'll, they'll jack the, the price up.

• 1:16:27Trevor Noah?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, it's very similar to that. Yeah, it's very similar to that.

• 1:16:31Speaker 02

  It's, this is one of the reasons why I didn't get a BBL, because.

• 1:16:36Trevor Noah?

  What, what were the other reasons? I'd like to know what the other reasons were beyond cost.

• 1:16:39Speaker 02

  Okay, this is the main reason. And then also because the cost of one, this whole thing, and then the cost of changing all of my pants.

• 1:16:47Speaker 01

  Wait, BBL is big butt lactose? What's BBL again?

• 1:16:54Trevor Noah?

  I think it's a Brazilian butt lift.

• 1:16:55Speaker 01

  Oh, Brazilian butt lift, okay.

• 1:16:58Trevor Noah?

  That's what it is. But I like.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  Your guess was pretty.

• 1:17:01Trevor Noah?

  It was fantastic.

• 1:17:02Speaker 01

  Big butt lactose.

• 1:17:03Trevor Noah?

  Butt lactose. Hey, you got that big butt, big butt lactose over there, man.

• 1:17:09Speaker 01

  So wait, you, you was gonna get a BBL for real?

• 1:17:11Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:17:12Speaker 01

  Oh. I'm like, damn, how bad is it was in this country? The girls got.

• 1:17:18Trevor Noah?

  No, you see, Dave's dad told him when he was very young, he said, there are no gender roles in this house. Men can get BBLs and women can get BBLs. And Dave was very close to his grandmother, so Dave was like, I'm gonna get a BBL as well.

• 1:17:37Speaker 01

  So that, that was a guy who invented insulin, you know the story about the guy who invented the insulin for, for diabetic patients?

• 1:17:44Trevor Noah?

  I think I know, which story?

• 1:17:46Speaker 01

  Well, he wanted it to be, to be cheap for everybody.

• 1:17:50Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:52Speaker 01

  Some company bought it and he said, hey, you can buy it, but as long as you make, make it available for everybody and really cheap. They say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they actually jacked the price to like three hundred, four hundred, even thousand dollars.

• 1:18:03Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, it, it, it's, it's one of the most frustrating things about healthcare in general is that. Everyone gets frustrated by it. And really no one needs to be. But then the quote unquote bad guys are very good at obscuring their role in in making the system worse. Does that make sense?

• 1:18:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:23Trevor Noah?

  So there's people who buy patents on drugs, for instance, or they buy the companies who own the patents on the drugs. And then they can just jack up the price. So they'll know there's one medicine that treats a specific disease that's very niche. Like they go, this disease. You you have to have the medication. It's not an option. But then they'll buy the company that owns the patent and then they just jack up the price.

• 1:18:42Speaker 01

  So what did that guy with a hold on to it?

• 1:18:45Speaker 02

  Oh, I have a question for you.

• 1:18:48Speaker 02

  Cause he's.

• 1:18:51Speaker 02

  Where? No, no, it's a real question. I'm just trying to think of how to phrase it correctly. Where, when did you start to think, sorry, it's a bit of a, when did you start to think that you were a funny person because? Of the electrical engineering?

• 1:19:07Trevor Noah?

  Actually, that is a good question.

• 1:19:09Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean?

• 1:19:12Speaker 01

  When I was young, two things out there was amazing, was eating and laughing. I remember laughing my ass off. I'm like, there can't be nothing better than this.

• 1:19:24Speaker 01

  Like I was just, and and you know, laughing and then you laugh so much and then eating good foods. As I got older, it was eating healthier foods was better and laughing was still in the game. And and so I always thought laughing was um was the best thing in life.

• 1:19:38Speaker 02

  But what I mean is because remember you've just, your family has come from quite a. Trying circumstances like you've. In terms of you didn't, we've spent a lot of time telling us not a funny story. So now, was the hu- was there any humor in your family because of all this kind of stuff was happening?

• 1:19:59Speaker 01

  Even in Haiti, people were still enjoying their lives. People not not having is not. Your life is like you still laugh, you still have a good time, you still go to the movies, you still cook good foods. So so being poor was not like, oh, we poor, no, people don't think like that. They just think like, hey, we we. We do with the best that we have, but we still enjoy our lives. There was a lot of laughter in my house. My dad used to make jokes. As strict as my dad was. He would make jokes, my mother would make jokes, you know, there was, you know, laughter and, you know, but at the same time, you gotta do your homework, you gotta go to church. You know, but, but, you know, laughter was a, was a, a good, good, you know, we'll, so we used to always have dinner together.

• 1:20:39Speaker 01

  And, um, uh, and, and my dad would say a few jokes, never hardly say jokes, but we, we like, we, we'll laugh and stuff. So I just remember those are good times, you know? That was a, that, but my dad was also solid, like, does that make sense? Like a hardcore, strict disciplinarian guy. Like a, like, like he never really showed emotion.

• 1:21:00Trevor Noah?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, we know those guys. Yeah.

• 1:21:01Speaker 01

  Never showed emotion.

• 1:21:02Trevor Noah?

  There, there's, there is like a very specific generation.

• 1:21:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. So my mother would go around the table, how was school today? Any stories happen? How was school? What happened? And then got to my dad, my dad, my dad said, yeah, I was, I was, uh, downtown. Someone came with a gun, put it in my face, asked me for my wallet. I gave it to him and then he go away. It was like, and my dad was like, anything, anybody else have stories? It was like, and then he, by the way, he pistol with my dad, he hit him in the face with the gun, but he's telling this story. Like it's like, oh yeah, I went to the park and I swung, swung on the swings. That's how he told the story.

• 1:21:38Speaker 02

  But you're having a very, um, I don't wanna say, you're having like a very well-grounded family's life. You know, sitting at the table, not, I mean, in the sense of your, your upbringing, sitting at the table with the whole family, mother saying each person tells the story. You know, that kind of thing. So this is a very, like, almost like a, the family that we, that TV has told us as a family, you had that childhood in a way. For a certain portion of it.

• 1:22:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I guess, yeah. I mean, eating together was like a, was the norm. I never, I ain't, I ain't even think it would not, I thought all families eating together.

• 1:22:15Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, no, that's not normal. Or no, rather, or rather, it is not as ubiquitous as it may seem. Not everyone is doing it.

• 1:22:23Speaker 01

  Hmm. We used to pray together also.

• 1:22:25Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, all these things. Dave's right, this is very wholesome. So were you the, were you the funny kid in? The family?

• 1:22:30Speaker 01

  I was to my to to my brothers, my my dad, you know, you you get your ass whooped. But I was, I used to do practice, I used to like hide and scare them or like I used to like switch their plates. You know, remove the burger and put like more lettuce in there when they bite it. And and and I'll be holding the burger, are you looking for this? You know.

• 1:22:51Trevor Noah?

  What was what was the first thing you remember seeing that made you think? I want to get into comedy, like specifically comedy. Because I know every comedian has something they saw that made them think.

• 1:23:03Speaker 01

  Two people.

• 1:23:04Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:05Speaker 01

  Ronnie Dangerfield.

• 1:23:06Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 1:23:07Speaker 01

  And Joan Rivers.

• 1:23:08Trevor Noah?

  Interesting.

• 1:23:09Speaker 01

  Because Ronnie Dangerfield was the first one I saw. He talked about himself and it was okay. Hey, the girl said, come on over, Ronnie, come on over. Nobody's home. I went on over, nobody was home. I get no respect. I remember that, man. I was laughing, man. Joan Rivers is another one.

• 1:23:25Trevor Noah?

  How old were you when you when you were listening to this for the first time?

• 1:23:28Speaker 01

  Oh, I can't remember how old I was, too young. But I just remember like those two were like so funny. I didn't get into Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy till later.

• 1:23:37Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:38Speaker 01

  You know, um, because we were not allowed to, but those two was on TV.

• 1:23:42Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:42Speaker 01

  So I got to see those two a lot. Uh, Eddie Murphy was not really on TV. And and also he was on SNL and that came out on too late, so.

• 1:23:52Trevor Noah?

  That was after the ten P M. curfew.

• 1:23:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. Um, and and Richard Pryor was was in the movies and stuff. So I didn't really get into those two like to later later on and stuff.

• 1:24:05Trevor Noah?

  How did you start stand up?

• 1:24:07Speaker 01

  Uh, I ran into a comedian named Dougie Doug up in Harlem. Uh, Dougie Doug was in the in the movie, um, the Jamaican bobsled movie.

• 1:24:17Trevor Noah?

  Oh, Cool Runnings.

• 1:24:18Speaker 01

  Cool Runnings.

• 1:24:18Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was one of the, and then I said, yo, man, you're amazing, man. What's? And he invited me to his club, the Uptown Comedy Club, and then I just went there and that's that was it.

• 1:24:29Speaker 02

  Like a fan, you said, you're amazing. Then he said, you must come and be a comedian.

• 1:24:33Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no, no, no. I asked him, I said, how did you go? I was kind of like interviewing him. How did you get into it? How to do it?

• 1:24:38Trevor Noah?

  I was like, Dougie Doug, Dougie Doug was having a tough time at his comedy club. People were like, hey, man, can I get a selfie? He's like, yo, if you if you're gonna do five minutes tonight, man, we we need an act. No.

• 1:24:49Speaker 01

  No, but I was interviewing him and it seemed like all the questions about how did you get into comedy?

• 1:24:53Trevor Noah?

  I love that you say interviewing him. You said this about your dad as well. You said this like your definition of interview is very different.

• 1:25:00Trevor Noah?

  Anytime Will sees one person asking another person any questions, Will's like, "Yeah, that's an interview right there."

• 1:25:10Trevor Noah?

  I bumped into Dougie Doug and I interviewed him. And my dad was interviewing my mom that one night about why the potatoes seemed a little less tasty than usual.

• 1:25:21Speaker 01

  So Dougie Doug was the one that got me, like got me.

• 1:25:25Trevor Noah?

  So he said, "Come through."

• 1:25:25Speaker 01

  He said, "Come through the comedy club," yeah.

• 1:25:27Speaker 02

  At what point in your life is this?

• 1:25:29Speaker 01

  Actually, my boss, I used to work at a company called International Robotics. We used to build robots. In fact, one of our robots was in the movie Rocky IV. Did you see the Rocky movies?

• 1:25:39Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:40Speaker 01

  You saw the Rocky movies? Remember that robot came out with the cake for the birthday?

• 1:25:44Trevor Noah?

  No, I don't remember this.

• 1:25:45Speaker 01

  So you didn't see Rocky IV?

• 1:25:46Trevor Noah?

  No, I saw Rocky IV. I just don't remember the robot.

• 1:25:49Speaker 01

  Did you see Rocky III?

• 1:25:50Trevor Noah?

  Yes, I've seen all the Rockies.

• 1:25:51Speaker 01

  You don't remember Big Robot?

• 1:25:53Trevor Noah?

  I don't.

• 1:25:53Speaker 01

  With the big round head?

• 1:25:54Trevor Noah?

  I don't. That's not like the thing.

• 1:25:55Speaker 01

  Did you see Rockies?

• 1:25:56Trevor Noah?

  I did.

• 1:25:57Speaker 01

  Do you remember the robot?

• 1:25:59Speaker 02

  I can say that.

• 1:26:01Speaker 01

  Is it a yes or no question?

• 1:26:02Speaker 02

  It's a no. I do not remember it.

• 1:26:04Trevor Noah?

  I'm gonna look this up right now.

• 1:26:05Speaker 02

  But I may remember the party. Do you know what I mean? Like I.

• 1:26:07Trevor Noah?

  I'm gonna look this up right now.

• 1:26:09Speaker 01

  The robot's name is Cisco.

• 1:26:11Trevor Noah?

  Cisco Speltow.

• 1:26:12Speaker 01

  S I C O.

• 1:26:14Speaker 02

  Is this when you're an engineer?

• 1:26:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was working at that company.

• 1:26:18Speaker 02

  Where did you go to school?

• 1:26:20Speaker 01

  I went to school in New York Tech and City College.

• 1:26:24Speaker 02

  And then you be, and then.

• 1:26:25Speaker 01

  I got a job at.

• 1:26:27Trevor Noah?

  Oh damn, here it is. Paulie and his robots.

• 1:26:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:30Trevor Noah?

  The robot comes out.

• 1:26:31Speaker 02

  Brother-in-law.

• 1:26:34Speaker 01

  See?

• 1:26:38Speaker 01

  Where's the word?

• 1:26:38Trevor Noah?

  Happy birthday, Paulie. Oh yeah, I don't remember the scene at all.

• 1:26:48Trevor Noah?

  I don't remember this at all.

• 1:26:50Speaker 01

  You see?

• 1:26:50Trevor Noah?

  I would be lying if I said I remember this.

• 1:26:52Speaker 01

  But you said you saw the movie though, right?

• 1:26:53Trevor Noah?

  I've definitely seen the movie. This I don't remember.

• 1:26:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:58Trevor Noah?

  So that was your robot?

• 1:26:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I worked on that robot.

• 1:27:00Trevor Noah?

  No ways, Will. You were in Rocky?

• 1:27:03Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:27:06Speaker 01

  No, I worked on that mobile after, like, I came to that job after that was

• 1:27:11Trevor Noah?

  Okay, got it.

• 1:27:12Speaker 01

  But, but that mobile was still at the job I was working on. And so my boss at that job, he's the one that actually told me, you should do stand-up.

• 1:27:20Trevor Noah?

  Was this his way of soft firing you?

• 1:27:23Speaker 01

  No, actually, he allowed me-

• 1:27:24Trevor Noah?

  Hey, Will, I've, I've seen some of the work that you've done. You should think of comedy, man. You should, uh-

• 1:27:30Speaker 01

  You should quit the day job.

• 1:27:32Trevor Noah?

  I saw the way you connected those cables. You would be a very funny guy.

• 1:27:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, he said, quit your day job.

• 1:27:38Trevor Noah?

  So he said you should be a stand-up comic?

• 1:27:40Speaker 01

  Don't quit your day job.

• 1:27:40Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, he said, he said, quit your day job. So he was a stand-up comedian.

• 1:27:44Speaker 01

  So he gave me a CD, um, Robin Harris CD, and I listened to it every day for a year straight. I couldn't, I couldn't stop laughing. I laughed almost every time I listened to that CD. I'm like, yo, wha- is this happening somewhere? Where can I go see comedy like this? Then, then, um, a few months later, that's when I went to Dougie Doug in Harlem, and he invited me to do-

• 1:28:08Trevor Noah?

  What was it like the first time? So you get to Dougie Doug's club?

• 1:28:11Speaker 01

  Um, uh, I was just, I was just like a student-ish or a customer.

• 1:28:16Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:16Speaker 01

  And then, and they knew that I wanted to be a comic, you know, the, the people that was running the show. And one day they had no comedians, because all the comics was playing some celebrity basketball game. And they say, hey, you wanna be a comic, right? I'm like, yeah, but I'm not ready. They say, yo, you on tonight? And I went on that night and I bombed.

• 1:28:34Trevor Noah?

  What did you, what did you talk about?

• 1:28:36Speaker 01

  Uh, I, I think one of the jokes were, uh, I, I don't necessarily, because my, my, my English is pretty bad, bad now. I say I don't necessarily pronounce words properly. I made a list of all the words that I don't pronounce, and I pulled out the dictionary and I threw it on the floor.

• 1:28:52Trevor Noah?

  That's a funny joke, actually.

• 1:28:54Speaker 01

  And, uh-

• 1:28:54Trevor Noah?

  Did you show that it was- Dictionary.

• 1:28:56Speaker 01

  I I just.

• 1:28:58Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, that's probably why it didn't work. Cause I think that's the kind of gag where everyone has to see that it says dictionary. And then you. That joke can work very well. And that's also like more of like a comedy festival joke than a comedy club joke, I think.

• 1:29:13Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:29:14Trevor Noah?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:29:14Speaker 01

  I mean, I I didn't know any brother.

• 1:29:15Trevor Noah?

  No, no, I I'm just saying, I'm just saying that you you go back in time and you tell Will that was a good joke.

• 1:29:22Trevor Noah?

  You might have bombed, but it was a good joke.

• 1:29:23Speaker 01

  But yeah, I I I bombed, I so but I real I remember that night.

• 1:29:30Speaker 01

  After that show. No, no, they didn't understand that. I gotta find a way to make them understand. One thing that that that that that that would that blew my mind, I was watching a Richard Pryor, right? I'm like, man, this guy's funny as hell. Then they showed the audience, it was an all white audience. I'm like.

• 1:29:49Speaker 01

  I I just assumed the audience is black, cause he was telling blackish jokes. And so when I saw, I'm saying, oh. Comedy is for everybody, shouldn't just be for a group or or, you know.

• 1:29:59Trevor Noah?

  Just your people.

• 1:30:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, or your people, you just gotta find a way to get, it's all about language. How do I interpretate this? You know, this this.

• 1:30:07Trevor Noah?

  How do I what? It's funny that he said in, he said, he just said it's about language and then Will pulled the will and said, did you say interpretate?

• 1:30:15Speaker 01

  Interpretate.

• 1:30:18Speaker 01

  Dave, Dave don't, he's not.

• 1:30:21Speaker 02

  I I know what you're saying.

• 1:30:22Trevor Noah?

  Cause you interpreted it in your.

• 1:30:23Speaker 02

  I did interpretate.

• 1:30:25Trevor Noah?

  Have you always done that, by the way? That's probably one of my favorite things about you as a human being. Is that like you you've just substituted words in your head.

• 1:30:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, my my brain look for for the nearest word.

• 1:30:36Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but you like, you've done this with, you just say like the craziest word where I'm like, but it's always adjacent.

• 1:30:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, we know what you're saying.

• 1:30:45Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, like interpretate, I'm like, yeah, that's correct. If it was a game show, I would accept it.

• 1:30:53Speaker 01

  So what's interpretate?

• 1:30:54Trevor Noah?

  I don't think that's a thing at all.

• 1:30:57Trevor Noah?

  But what I love is I always understand it.

• 1:31:01Trevor Noah?

  I do speak fluent well.

• 1:31:03Speaker 02

  That's a word, um, that's one of those words that should have been a word, interpretate. It's not, you know, it's not so.

• 1:31:10Trevor Noah?

  It's not, it's not a bizarre word.

• 1:31:11Speaker 01

  Like conversate, I heard conversate is not a real word.

• 1:31:13Trevor Noah?

  No, conversate is a word. Converse is a word.

• 1:31:17Speaker 01

  Or is it politicking?

• 1:31:20Trevor Noah?

  Politicking is now a word, I think.

• 1:31:21Speaker 01

  No, conversate wasn't a word, it became a word.

• 1:31:23Speaker 02

  I think it became, when I.

• 1:31:25Trevor Noah?

  All words weren't words and they became words.

• 1:31:26Speaker 02

  No, no, but, but people, when they use their slang in a way and then it be.

• 1:31:31Trevor Noah?

  So you should just do interpretate more.

• 1:31:33Speaker 01

  Right, like, like, like, yo, I was politicking with this girl, but politicking is.

• 1:31:38Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:31:38Speaker 02

  You know, we used to converse.

• 1:31:39Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 1:31:40Speaker 02

  Not conversate.

• 1:31:40Speaker 01

  Converse is another one, right?

• 1:31:42Speaker 02

  No, I'm saying converse.

• 1:31:43Trevor Noah?

  Was the word.

• 1:31:44Speaker 02

  Then conversate is like a cool way of saying it, I imagine.

• 1:31:48Trevor Noah?

  I guess.

• 1:31:48Speaker 02

  And then it be, it then, you know, but.

• 1:31:52Speaker 02

  I don't, if I had to bet like Webster's dictionary or whatever for conversate, I would go.

• 1:32:00Trevor Noah?

  You willing to bet on that?

• 1:32:01Speaker 02

  I would go.

• 1:32:05Speaker 02

  No, no, because I didn't hear conversate when I was growing up.

• 1:32:08Speaker 01

  You didn't hear conversate?

• 1:32:10Speaker 02

  I heard converse.

• 1:32:12Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, yeah, you're correct. Converse is a proper way.

• 1:32:14Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:32:14Trevor Noah?

  Yo, conversate goes back to the nineteenth century.

• 1:32:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:20Trevor Noah?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:32:21Speaker 02

  No, no, no, so.

• 1:32:21Trevor Noah?

  Conversate, conversate's been a thing.

• 1:32:23Speaker 02

  Okay, cool, conversate.

• 1:32:24Trevor Noah?

  Used for over two hundred years.

• 1:32:26Speaker 02

  Okay, but you see conversate, okay, this is actually, sorry, this is my point.

• 1:32:31Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:32Speaker 02

  You see, interpretate.

• 1:32:34Trevor Noah?

  Mm-hmm. Well, actually, here, this, this actually is you, you, funny enough. Conversate, they say here, conversate is a valid word, so converse is the standard widely accepted verb for engaging, engaging in conversation. Conversate is a valid word, but it is often viewed as a not real word by strict usage guides and is labeled non-standard. That is one of the craziest thing ever.

• 1:32:53Speaker 01

  That's what I said.

• 1:32:54Trevor Noah?

  It's a valid word, but it is often viewed as a not real word.

• 1:32:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:32:57Trevor Noah?

  Wow.

• 1:32:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause my, I'm on my teacher, he's telling me, oh, conversate is now a real word. Cause kids will be like, yeah, I was conversating with, and the teacher stopped the whole class, that's now the word, you, it's converse.

• 1:33:08Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:33:09Trevor Noah?

  That is a, but it is a real word.

• 1:33:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, look, look.

• 1:33:11Speaker 02

  Every word is sort of like a real word, but, but, but, so, but what I'm saying is, is that certain words sound like they could be a word.

• 1:33:20Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 1:33:20Speaker 02

  Conversate, interpretate, yeah, some are like, are like wrong.

• 1:33:24Trevor Noah?

  I think he's just ahead of your time, Will.

• 1:33:25Speaker 01

  Also, a word, a, a, a word is misused for a number of periods of time, it becomes a word.

• 1:33:31Trevor Noah?

  Yes, that's true.

• 1:33:31Speaker 01

  Right? Except for Pacific or specific.

• 1:33:36Trevor Noah?

  Well, Pacific is cause it's an ocean.

• 1:33:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, but Pacific, people use as specific.

• 1:33:44Speaker 01

  I was having a stroke. Bruce says, you know what I'm saying, but that never became.

• 1:33:49Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, because it's Pacific already.

• 1:33:51Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:33:52Trevor Noah?

  It's got to be a new word.

• 1:33:53Speaker 01

  So.

• 1:33:54Trevor Noah?

  We've already got Pacific.

• 1:33:55Speaker 01

  So can't say Pacific. Are you in Pacific?

• 1:33:57Trevor Noah?

  I'm saying Pacifically. That word won't work. That's what I'm saying.

• 1:34:01Speaker 01

  Say it again.

• 1:34:02Trevor Noah?

  Pacifically, that word.

• 1:34:04Speaker 01

  You, but you say specifically.

• 1:34:06Trevor Noah?

  No, I'm saying specifically.

• 1:34:09Speaker 01

  Why you say it?

• 1:34:10Speaker 02

  I won't say any of this stuff that you guys are saying, but.

• 1:34:17Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:34:21Speaker 02

  Because you're just butchering the Queen's English. Do you know what I mean?

• 1:34:24Trevor Noah?

  We are indeed.

• 1:34:24Speaker 01

  He's so colonized. Look at him, the Queen's English.

• 1:34:27Speaker 02

  That's why I told you that I wouldn't be saving people.

• 1:34:29Speaker 01

  He would be a house negro.

• 1:34:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's what I told you. I told you.

• 1:34:33Trevor Noah?

  So wait, so you, okay, you get on stage, you bomb. How long did it take before you got like your first laugh?

• 1:34:38Speaker 01

  The next time I went on.

• 1:34:39Trevor Noah?

  Oh, so you, you went back?

• 1:34:40Speaker 01

  I waited six months.

• 1:34:41Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:42Speaker 01

  It was September.

• 1:34:42Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:43Speaker 01

  And I went up again in December, January.

• 1:34:46Trevor Noah?

  What did you change?

• 1:34:47Speaker 01

  I, I made sure that in the stew I was saying. And then I opened up with a different joke.

• 1:34:52Trevor Noah?

  And what was the new joke?

• 1:34:53Speaker 01

  The new joke was, uh, if I ever make it to the top, if I ever come across some money, no more ugly girls for me. Because I'm ugly too. Too longs don't make a right.

• 1:35:06Speaker 02

  That's a good joke.

• 1:35:07Trevor Noah?

  That's a great joke.

• 1:35:08Speaker 02

  Now.

• 1:35:11Speaker 02

  Now in between.

• 1:35:12Trevor Noah?

  That's a nice one.

• 1:35:13Speaker 02

  In between bombing, cause and, uh, and this whole thing, what happened? No, I mean, in the sense, did you, because you obviously did not go on stage.

• 1:35:22Speaker 01

  I kept replaying that, that moment, even though it was like, it was like trauma.

• 1:35:27Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:27Speaker 01

  Getting booed, but I kept replaying in my head.

• 1:35:30Trevor Noah?

  You got booed?

• 1:35:31Speaker 01

  The first time.

• 1:35:32Trevor Noah?

  Oh, I didn't, you said bombed. You didn't say booed.

• 1:35:34Speaker 01

  Boo, in the black neighborhood, you, you bombed, you booed.

• 1:35:37Trevor Noah?

  Okay, no, cause bombing is, when I hear bombing, I think silence, like when comedians be like, oh, I bombed hard, it means silence.

• 1:35:44Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 1:35:45Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, when you get booed.

• 1:35:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, booed is different.

• 1:35:47Trevor Noah?

  Booed is like, hoo wee.

• 1:35:48Speaker 01

  That's what, that's how you get, that's how you bomb in the black.

• 1:35:51Speaker 02

  Yes, that is true.

• 1:35:52Trevor Noah?

  No, I mean, that's true, but I'm saying you didn't say that before. That, that, this is now, I feel even more for you.

• 1:35:57Speaker 01

  So you thought I was at a white club in Harlem?

• 1:35:59Trevor Noah?

  No, I just.

• 1:36:00Speaker 01

  Cause white people, the ones that like, they, that's in your definition booed, bombed.

• 1:36:05Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, bomb is just silence. Yeah, they just.

• 1:36:07Speaker 01

  No, no, black people gotta let you know, yo, this ain't happening.

• 1:36:10Speaker 02

  You know, even like you talk about. Uh, Japanese people, um, they will stay silent. No, no, no, I mean will because they're so respectful. We'll stay silent when you're killing.

• 1:36:20Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, killing or dying, you won't know.

• 1:36:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, you'll be doing well and.

• 1:36:23Speaker 01

  I'm just gonna make a connection with bond and Japanese people.

• 1:36:26Trevor Noah?

  No, damn.

• 1:36:29Speaker 02

  I'm not trying to, no, well, I'm just saying that the, the respect, because they don't, they don't. Well, now it's a bit different, but before culturally, because it's like, I don't want to. Oh, this one I've heard at least, I don't want to interrupt your.

• 1:36:41Trevor Noah?

  That was no, it was, it was like that when I did, when I did shows in Japan. Then there were a lot of Japanese people in the audience and I, I thought I was just not connecting with them at all. And then there were a lot of expats as well, so people from all over the world who live in Japan. They were having a good time. And then I remember after the show, I, I met a bunch of people in the streets, this was in Tokyo. And then a lot of Japanese people came up after the show and they're like, oh, you know, can I get a selfie? Can I get an autograph, etcetera? And then there were a few people and you know how it is as a comedian, you remember the people. And I was like, yo, you didn't laugh once. And then he was like, oh no, he's like, I couldn't laugh. He's like, I didn't want to laugh while you were there. It was very funny, but I didn't want to interrupt you. And I was like, man, that is the exact opposite reaction that we were looking for. This is the exact opposite reaction.

• 1:37:24Speaker 01

  You know, I was in China, right? Uh, this is how amazing Chinese people are. I did shows in China and there would be Chinese people sitting in the audience, not laughing, right? And then they'll come, and then so there was this one Chinese guy. He followed me to all my shows, by the seventh show, I'm like, dude, you come to the shows, you're not laughing. He goes, I'm learning English. Oh, wow. They would just come to the show to learn English. That's how dope Chinese people are, they just, I just, and then he said, the first show, he didn't speak any English. By the seventh show, he was having a, a fairly good conversation.

• 1:38:00Speaker 02

  He was going around saying your act.

• 1:38:02Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 1:38:05Speaker 01

  He said, he, he was just figuring out at my show. I'm like, oh.

• 1:38:09Trevor Noah?

  You know what I'm, I'm loving right now is the idea that there is a Chinese man somewhere, maybe still in China. Who's walking around saying, interpretate. Interpretate and Pacific.

• 1:38:21Speaker 01

  I'm just gonna say, no more ugly girl for me.

• 1:38:25Speaker 02

  But sorry, so you you're replaying this thing in your head, but you didn't go on stage?

• 1:38:30Speaker 01

  I didn't go on stage, no, no, no.

• 1:38:31Trevor Noah?

  So you're still back at the robotics firm?

• 1:38:33Speaker 01

  I was, I, I say that, I worked at robotics for a long time.

• 1:38:36Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:36Speaker 01

  You know, um.

• 1:38:37Trevor Noah?

  How many years?

• 1:38:38Speaker 01

  Because my boss allowed me to, oh, man.

• 1:38:44Speaker 01

  Maybe seven, ten years?

• 1:38:45Trevor Noah?

  Oh, yeah, this is a full leg job, job.

• 1:38:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And my, my boss allowed me to do shows. And I, because sometimes my shows will, you know, and he, he gave me the keys to the shop, he said, I'll just leave a, a, a work order, you come in, you come in three o'clock in the morning, you just come after my shows, work on the robot, check off the list on, on things I did.

• 1:39:05Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:39:06Speaker 01

  And so that, that made it.

• 1:39:07Trevor Noah?

  That's a great boss, man.

• 1:39:08Speaker 01

  That was, it made it easy until someone told me, he said, man,

• 1:39:13Speaker 01

  you, you would never take comedy far, because he asked me, comedy or, I'm not, I, I'm really loving comedy. He said, you'll never take comedy far as long as you have that safety net.

• 1:39:25Trevor Noah?

  Who said this to you?

• 1:39:26Speaker 01

  Some dude.

• 1:39:28Trevor Noah?

  Some dude?

• 1:39:28Speaker 02

  The same Chinese guy who learned.

• 1:39:32Trevor Noah?

  Yo, what?

• 1:39:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, so because, because you would never.

• 1:39:35Trevor Noah?

  And you believe this person?

• 1:39:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I quit my job.

• 1:39:37Trevor Noah?

  That is the worst advice anyone could ever give anyone.

• 1:39:41Speaker 01

  As long as you have a safety net, you won't take, you won't.

• 1:39:43Trevor Noah?

  I, I think the exact opposite is true.

• 1:39:46Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:39:46Trevor Noah?

  If you want to enjoy your comedy and you want to be a great comedian, just have it as your hobby. Do it as like, I, I think there's nothing worse for an audience than the smell of desperation.

• 1:39:57Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:39:59Trevor Noah?

  You know, when a comedian gets on stage and the audience is like, this person needs us to laugh at the jokes or their rent won't be paid.

• 1:40:05Speaker 01

  I thought.

• 1:40:05Trevor Noah?

  There's a different, there's a different feeling in the room.

• 1:40:07Speaker 01

  I thought only animals could smell dumb.

• 1:40:09Trevor Noah?

  No, humans can as well.

• 1:40:10Speaker 01

  Fair and desperation.

• 1:40:11Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, humans can as well, trust me.

• 1:40:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:40:13Trevor Noah?

  Trust me. When a comedian gets on stage and they're doing it for the love of comedy, like really for the love, like when, when Dave and I started doing comedy shows in South Africa, like Dave would put this, he put this room together. It was weird, it was hard at first, it was this whole thing. But there was no money and we did the room for the room.

• 1:40:29Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:40:30Trevor Noah?

  We did it for comedy and then we like had jobs and we'd get money from other things. But I, I, I've always felt the comedy that comedians make from passion is far superior to the comedy they make from survival.

• 1:40:43Speaker 01

  From, yeah, that's true.

• 1:40:45Trevor Noah?

  There's just like a joy, man. There's a different type of, you know?

• 1:40:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, you go out because you want to go out.

• 1:40:50Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, the, the, you, you're not pandering to an audience because that's your livelihood. So you don't go, let me make this joke because this joke works. You're going, I like this joke. Let's figure it out. And I can afford to like this joke.

• 1:41:06Speaker 01

  That is true.

• 1:41:07Trevor Noah?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 1:41:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because when, when you're, when you're doing it because you had to survive, you'll, you do everything you gotta do to get for the last.

• 1:41:15Trevor Noah?

  Exactly.

• 1:41:16Speaker 01

  So you could keep getting work. Versus like, I'm just, you know, hey, didn't work, we'll, we'll try another time.

• 1:41:21Trevor Noah?

  Exactly. That's, that's genuinely my opinion. But I mean.

• 1:41:24Speaker 02

  Sorry, question. No, no. In, while you're doing this kind of comedy and stuff, no, no, I mean, work slash comedy, work slash comedy. How long is this work slash comedy going for?

• 1:41:36Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:41:37Speaker 02

  No, I mean, you know, is it like from day one of working at the, at the engineering or is it like towards the end? You know what I mean?

• 1:41:44Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no. Towards the, um, the middle-ish.

• 1:41:48Speaker 02

  Middle-ish. Okay, cool. And then are your family seeing you?

• 1:41:53Speaker 01

  No, because my, it was, we were not allowed to do, because comedy was like, my, my dad, my mother was like, no. Just make us laugh if that's the case. You know?

• 1:42:05Trevor Noah?

  You're throwing your future away.

• 1:42:06Speaker 01

  You know, you had to be engineer, you had to be a doctor, you had to be a lawyer, you know? And, and because, because the thing was, you know, education, good job, then you get a family, then you take over the house.

• 1:42:17Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:17Speaker 01

  You know, only in America, where you, you, when you turn eighteen, you leave the house. In, in a Haitian household, well, at least when I was growing up, no, the family always stayed together. When you become eighteen, then you get a job, but then when you get a good job, you get a wife, then you, then the, all right, now you're the, you're the head of the house.

• 1:42:37Trevor Noah?

  Oh, you just take over the household?

• 1:42:38Speaker 01

  Take over the household, yeah.

• 1:42:39Trevor Noah?

  There's a version of that in sort of every culture, yeah.

• 1:42:42Speaker 01

  They take over that, their wife's household or, and, and vice versa, you know? But, but, you know, you don't leave the family, ever.

• 1:42:51Trevor Noah?

  It's like, it's like fastening. Furious.

• 1:42:54Speaker 01

  It's all about family. It's all about family. So, um, so family was a big thing.

• 1:43:01Trevor Noah?

  So you saying comedy is basically like saying I don't give a shit about family.

• 1:43:05Speaker 01

  No, we, we, cause they didn't see value in, in doing stand up. You know, where they come from, a doctor, a engineer, or a lawyer was the way. Cause, cause the, one of the most important things is how you gonna support, how you gonna make money. And the top things to make money was doctors, lawyers, engineers.

• 1:43:25Trevor Noah?

  What did they do when they discovered you were doing comedy, like you were moonlighting as a comedian?

• 1:43:30Speaker 01

  So one day my, I did a show that came on late at night, I didn't think it was gonna, you know, and my mother being, my mother normally goes to bed by ten. And so my little brother came and she said, hey, Ma, I saw you on TV.

• 1:43:41Trevor Noah?

  Oh, man.

• 1:43:46Speaker 01

  What she say? You'll see when you get home. And then, um, my mother's in the living room talking to her friends and I walk in, we had the, the, the living room with the beads on, as a door.

• 1:43:56Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:43:57Speaker 01

  I walked in, they, they all heard me coming through the beads and they just look and they all start talking and one of them go, is that the comedian there? And they just started laughing. I ain't say nothing. They just started laughing. And my mom, yeah, that's, that's my, that's my favorite son.

• 1:44:16Speaker 01

  Come on, Ma. And then, uh, and then, and then it was acceptable. I, I, I guess when they see there's a, there's a way to make money, there's a, is a living. Or, and then laugh also, it brings people together. So there's so many things happening. I guess when my mother first saw me on TV for the first time. She was like, she, first of all, she was like, is that, is that weird? You know, I, I, I try to picture like what was going through her mind when she was, you know, first of all, she, is that, it's one AM. What is she doing up at one AM, you know? You know, that's number one. Number two, she's just flipping through the channels, look, look, probably looking for the news.

• 1:44:51Trevor Noah?

  That's wild and she bumps into you. What was, do you remember what the show was?

• 1:44:55Speaker 01

  Uh, some show about the, the Apollo, not the Apollo. It's another show that Apollo was producing and, um. And and and then my my brother told me, cause not my mother, but she was flipping through channels. And then she stopped and and what made her stop was cause she is that weird? And she just, you know, watched it, you know, and then.

• 1:45:21Speaker 02

  That's insane.

• 1:45:22Trevor Noah?

  That's really amazing.

• 1:45:23Speaker 01

  It is?

• 1:45:24Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, just think of all all the variables that have to come together for that to happen.

• 1:45:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:29Trevor Noah?

  Your mom has to be up past her bedtime.

• 1:45:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:32Trevor Noah?

  Which she isn't normally.

• 1:45:33Speaker 01

  Very, yeah.

• 1:45:34Trevor Noah?

  Your mom is flipping through channels. Remember, there's no TV guide when this is happening.

• 1:45:37Speaker 01

  She's making tea.

• 1:45:38Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:38Speaker 01

  She's on the phone.

• 1:45:39Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, so now she's flipping channels.

• 1:45:41Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:45:41Trevor Noah?

  She bumps into you. I'm assuming you're not doing a long set on this show.

• 1:45:45Speaker 01

  Five, five minutes.

• 1:45:45Trevor Noah?

  Five minutes. So she has a five minute window to catch you.

• 1:45:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:49Trevor Noah?

  She catches.

• 1:45:50Speaker 01

  Show.

• 1:45:51Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:51Speaker 01

  And that within that five minutes.

• 1:45:52Trevor Noah?

  And so she catches this five minutes of her son and he's not bombing.

• 1:45:56Speaker 02

  You know what? Yeah. You know what this is saying? You know what that's the same of? Cause you're an engineer at this point, a Haitian engineer. So it's like.

• 1:46:04Speaker 01

  Why not just an engineer? What's the Haitian engineer versus a Chinese engineer?

• 1:46:08Speaker 02

  No, no, I'm trying to put it in the sense of like, you're not a engineer from Long Island and your family's Jerry Seinfeld. And we talk about comedy all the time and Ben Stiller, you know what I mean? People who are or the Priors or or Murphys who are comedy could happen. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like, no, or LeBron and flipping and he sees one of his cousins or someone playing basketball. I'm saying you are firmly not comedy people. It's the same as like if you if she flipped and you were doing like the Rocket Launch.

• 1:46:43Speaker 01

  Or playing basketball for the Knicks.

• 1:46:45Trevor Noah?

  Yes, yeah, actually, that would be.

• 1:46:48Speaker 02

  But he had no idea.

• 1:46:49Speaker 01

  Is that weird doing a slam dunk?

• 1:46:55Trevor Noah?

  This is just like.

• 1:46:56Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 1:46:57Trevor Noah?

  I'm really happy that that happened for you guys though, cause I I wonder if you ever would have had the guts to tell her.

• 1:47:02Speaker 01

  But most cultures from these small countries or these whatever countries.

• 1:47:08Speaker 01

  In those days, information was not that readily available.

• 1:47:13Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 1:47:14Speaker 01

  You know, and the thing that most of them knew is like, you know, you gotta make money. The reason why, what's the number one reason why people migrate to America in those days?

• 1:47:22Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, it's money.

• 1:47:23Speaker 01

  From opportunity.

• 1:47:24Speaker 02

  I would assume what Trevor's saying is that, let's say you had a tape of that, of that um thing. Firstly, you were never gonna tell her in a way, and if you had a tape of that and gave it to her. A tape is two, but you gave me the tape.

• 1:47:37Trevor Noah?

  That's exactly what I mean.

• 1:47:39Speaker 02

  You, not staged, but you gave me a tape.

• 1:47:42Trevor Noah?

  That's exactly what I mean.

• 1:47:43Speaker 01

  The fact that she saw it on live TV.

• 1:47:44Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:45Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:47:46Trevor Noah?

  That must have been amazing for her, like genuinely, genuinely amazing, and for you as well.

• 1:47:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, for, I was still absorbing the fact that she saw me on TV, like what's gonna happen, like, you know.

• 1:47:56Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:57Speaker 01

  Um.

• 1:47:58Trevor Noah?

  Did that change your relationship afterwards?

• 1:48:00Speaker 01

  With my, with my mother?

• 1:48:01Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:02Speaker 01

  Um, no, I, I, I always like, I, she was always on a high pedestal.

• 1:48:07Trevor Noah?

  No, but I mean like from her to you, like, did she like now be like, you know, like, where's my comedian going? Or, you know, what are you doing these days, comedy boy, or, you know?

• 1:48:14Speaker 01

  She, she.

• 1:48:16Speaker 02

  In a good way.

• 1:48:17Speaker 01

  She always viewed me as like the number one son somehow.

• 1:48:20Trevor Noah?

  Oh, that's beautiful.

• 1:48:21Speaker 01

  But I didn't learn that.

• 1:48:22Trevor Noah?

  Except for your bro.

• 1:48:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, except for three other people.

• 1:48:24Speaker 01

  I didn't realize until later, I thought my older brother was the number one son for a long time.

• 1:48:28Trevor Noah?

  Do you, do you ever wonder if she just said this to all of you in a different way?

• 1:48:31Speaker 01

  I know, like, are you saying this, cause no other son is ever around when you said I'm the number one son.

• 1:48:35Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, cause I feel like that's a, like, great parent.

• 1:48:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48:38Trevor Noah?

  Will just pull your side and be like, you know, you were always my favorite.

• 1:48:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:41Trevor Noah?

  But don't tell your brother.

• 1:48:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48:42Trevor Noah?

  You know, you were always my favorite, but don't tell your brother. You just tell every brother and then they just go like, man, I feel bad for my brothers.

• 1:48:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48:49Trevor Noah?

  Cause I was always the favorite.

• 1:48:50Speaker 01

  But I did have a connection with my mother because I was close to, with her mother.

• 1:48:54Trevor Noah?

  And you were also her son.

• 1:48:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause my, my grandmother.

• 1:48:58Speaker 01

  No, my grandma was like very close.

• 1:49:00Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:49:00Speaker 01

  We were like best of friends.

• 1:49:02Trevor Noah?

  Right.

• 1:49:02Speaker 01

  And so my mother was like, oh, out of all of them, I'm him.

• 1:49:05Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:49:06Speaker 01

  And my, my grandma was like, no, he's amazing and stuff. And, and so I think that, you know, when my, my grandmother died, my mother was, my mother must have cried every day for a year straight.

• 1:49:16Trevor Noah?

  Oh, man.

• 1:49:17Speaker 01

  And then, and then she looked to me like, like, you know, did she tell you anything, or any stories you could share, like? No, just the same stories she shared with anybody else.

• 1:49:26Trevor Noah?

  Ah, you were, yeah, you were the connection.

• 1:49:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, so um, so I think that's why she could start connecting with me more and more, you know.

• 1:49:34Trevor Noah?

  Don't press anything. We've got more. What now after this?

• 1:49:46Trevor Noah?

  When would you say comedy like clicked in your life? Like, and I mean like click, because I mean,

• 1:49:52Trevor Noah?

  you know, already when I met you, you know, you were a regular hosting shows at the Comedy Cellar. And the Comedy Cellar is one of the most discerning comedy institutions in the world. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't matter if you have 10 million followers on social media. Esti is not going to put you on stage at the Comedy Cellar. But you could have five followers and she'll put you on stage.

• 1:50:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, that's the thing about Esti. But what a lot of people know the Comedy Cellar, one of the, one of the, one of the most successful comedy clubs happening right now.

• 1:50:24Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:24Speaker 01

  And I blame Esti. Esti.

• 1:50:27Trevor Noah?

  You blame her?

• 1:50:28Speaker 01

  In a good way.

• 1:50:28Trevor Noah?

  Or you credit her?

• 1:50:29Speaker 01

  I credit her.

• 1:50:30Trevor Noah?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:50:31Speaker 01

  You said one of those words I'm using.

• 1:50:32Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, okay, okay.

• 1:50:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. So she's the reason why, because she does, she just don't put a lineup up. She actually watched the videotapes at all the shows. And then she determines, okay, I gotta put this guy on first. I gotta put this person after, because this person, I can't follow this person. She actually studies comedy.

• 1:50:51Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, and you can tell, man.

• 1:50:51Speaker 01

  And she puts an amazing lineup up, which is why we get all these shows happening at the Cellar and we get more work.

• 1:50:58Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, and you, and they, they care about comedy itself.

• 1:51:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:51:01Trevor Noah?

  And you see it in the product and then the people feel it when they come in. But what I mean about clicking is like.

• 1:51:06Speaker 01

  Then you have, then you have Liz, the manager.

• 1:51:08Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:08Speaker 01

  Who do, doing an amazing job, because they was going through different managers and they couldn't get it together. When they got Liz in, it all clicked in amazing lineup and amazing management. You know? But then back to what my dad said about women, good, having a good woman in your life.

• 1:51:23Trevor Noah?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:51:23Speaker 01

  I think the owner of the Cellar, he has two great women in his life. And they doing amazing things. It's like, you know, people will always, let me not say people, I don't know. But the world discredit women so much. They put women down, you know, you know, and women gotta work.

• 1:51:40Trevor Noah?

  Twice as hard.

• 1:51:41Speaker 01

  Twice as hard.

• 1:51:41Trevor Noah?

  For half the recognition.

• 1:51:42Speaker 01

  Women are way smarter than men, I feel like. But, you know, we got the guns and power.

• 1:51:48Trevor Noah?

  I don't have any guns.

• 1:51:50Speaker 01

  No, you know, saying that's.

• 1:51:51Trevor Noah?

  No, I'm not, no, I'm joking, Will. I'm joking. The, yeah, but what I mean about the clicking though is like I go. When you look, I don't wanna say back, cuz it's not like your life is finished. But when you look at your career in comedy now, you have to admit it's pretty crazy that you you you've done shows with like, you know what I mean, you you are touring with like the Wayans Brothers.

• 1:52:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, Wayans Brothers, Damon Wayans, Wayans Brothers.

• 1:52:16Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:17Speaker 01

  Cat Williams.

• 1:52:17Trevor Noah?

  Cat Williams.

• 1:52:18Speaker 01

  Cat Williams amaz- by the way, don't listen to none of the stuff about Cat Williams. He's he that dude is amazing.

• 1:52:23Trevor Noah?

  Oh, that's the stuff I heard. What do you mean?

• 1:52:24Speaker 01

  Oh, oh.

• 1:52:25Trevor Noah?

  What's the other stuff?

• 1:52:26Speaker 01

  That he's he's he's nuts. He's not, he's not. Cat Williams, he's the only person that I know, you might know someone like this. He's the only one that I know, when he gets to a town, he'll get the local paper and read the whole paper. And his first ten fifteen minutes or twenty minutes will be on that town. The crowd go crazy. It's almost having like a local open to open.

• 1:52:48Trevor Noah?

  But it's Cat Williams.

• 1:52:49Speaker 01

  But it's Cat Williams. That's telling jokes about your people. He's one of the one of the most fascinating people I ever met.

• 1:52:56Trevor Noah?

  Loves comedy, man.

• 1:52:57Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:52:57Trevor Noah?

  That man loves comedy.

• 1:53:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:53:01Trevor Noah?

  Loves comedy. One of my favorite things that ever happened in my life was it's I I I probably like credit Cat with even giving me an opportunity in comedy in in in Los Angeles. I used to try and get spots at the um.

• 1:53:15Speaker 01

  Comedy Store?

• 1:53:16Trevor Noah?

  No, the Laugh Factory. Couldn't get any spots. They were always just like, yeah, come back next week. Yeah, come back next week. Yeah, come back next week. Now, the funny thing was, I was doing pretty well in South Africa, but these guys didn't know who I was. Uh, and they didn't need to know, there there there's no reason they should have known who I was, you know? So I'd just show up every week. And because South Africa's comedy scene was so intimate, you could just show up and say, hey, can I perform? And people would be like, alright, get on. It was like Dougie Doug's Club.

• 1:53:40Speaker 01

  It was like the black clubs in America also. You just walk in.

• 1:53:44Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, it's just like, aight, aight, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. So I I get to um LA, go to these. Clubs, man, they just, everyone, and the thing about L A is nobody says no in that town. Right? Because everybody in that town is not sure who you are or who you may end up becoming.

• 1:54:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:02Trevor Noah?

  So they never wanna be the person who said no to you. So it's just a town of people saying fake yeses and maybes.

• 1:54:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:08Trevor Noah?

  That keep you on a treadmill of hope.

• 1:54:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. Something happens, I discovered you.

• 1:54:13Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, that's literally it. So I'd go to the Comedy Store and I'd be like, can I perform? And they'd be like, ah, what are your credits, kid? And what have you done? And what are you? I was like, oh, you know, South Africa. They're like, no, no, we mean real credits. What are your, you know? I'll go to another club and another club and anyway.

• 1:54:27Speaker 01

  You just pull out your credit cards?

• 1:54:31Trevor Noah?

  And I'll just go, this is, this is something I'm trying to do. I'm trying, whatever. I, I didn't really mind. And so one day I'm at the Laugh Factory and the comedian, um, the guy was running it, actually, Pookie Wiggington. You know, Pookie?

• 1:54:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:45Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, everybody knows.

• 1:54:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:54:46Trevor Noah?

  So Pookie would like put on a show called Chocolate Sundays and they go, hey, the comedian who was supposed to go on dropped out. You're here like every week. They're like, you gonna, you ready to go up? I was like, yeah, I'm ready. So they go, okay, you're gonna go on before the, the host, before the opener.

• 1:55:07Speaker 01

  Oh, you had to warm up for the host.

• 1:55:09Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but they didn't tell me that. They didn't explain that. Cause I don't know if you know this, Dave. I didn't know this. In some clubs in America, they have a comedian who comes on before the show starts.

• 1:55:19Speaker 01

  I did not know this.

• 1:55:21Trevor Noah?

  But that's like the worst slot in all of comedy because

• 1:55:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:24Trevor Noah?

  They don't even play music for you when you walk out. Like you are, you exist before the show.

• 1:55:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:30Trevor Noah?

  Yeah. I didn't know this.

• 1:55:32Speaker 01

  Because the host is, is a prominent name.

• 1:55:36Trevor Noah?

  Not even, not even. It's just a like, you, you, you, you know those, you know those stories they would tell in war of certain soldiers who were chosen to be on the front lines just as far down.

• 1:55:46Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:55:46Trevor Noah?

  Your job was to be killed in the front lines?

• 1:55:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:49Trevor Noah?

  So that like the respected soldiers could actually survive the fight.

• 1:55:51Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:55:52Trevor Noah?

  That's what that, that, that position is in comedy. You're gonna go up there, you're gonna talk, no one's gonna listen. But at least it sets in motion the idea that a show is going to start.

• 1:56:01Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:56:02Trevor Noah?

  And then the host comes up and the music plays. So anyway, I go on stage.

• 1:56:07Trevor Noah?

  I ask very naively, I say, is someone gonna introduce me? And then the guy's like, he's like, nah, man. He's like, you, you, you, you up first, get on stage. So I'm like, god damn, okay. So I walk on stage. No one is paying attention. They're getting food orders, they like, it is, it's the worst position you can ever be in. So I start, I start doing like my sets, you know, like telling the joke, but no one is listening, no one. I had, they gave me four minutes or three minutes. I even remember then, I was like, three minutes, like, what do you say in three minutes? Hello, and you know? So I start doing my sets. And about like a minute in, it's now just silence.

• 1:56:51Trevor Noah?

  So the room is, they've, they've, they're done taking orders, but now it's just silent.

• 1:56:54Speaker 01

  You got the attention.

• 1:56:55Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but the attention is just like, what is this man, what is happening here? No one laughing, no one doing anything. I had like a minute and a half. And then all of a sudden, you hear like, I hit, I hit a punchline, land on a punchline, and then you hear one person, the back of the room, top of the room, you know that balcony?

• 1:57:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:57:16Trevor Noah?

  One person. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

• 1:57:23Trevor Noah?

  Fifteen, twenty seconds later, hit another line. Ah, ah, oh, that shit funny. Twenty, thirty seconds later, now the room starts turning, cause they're like, the, the room has decided, this is not funny. But there's somebody who's like laughing so loud that they're almost like offended by this. So the room turned, they keep turning, everyone's trying to turn to see what's happening. And then eventually, they, they look, and I don't know if he leaned or whatever, it's Cat Williams. And he's in the balcony, and it was all like empty up there, so he's like by himself with like his crew, and he's laughing. I mean, this man was, like, he was dying, like I had paid him.

• 1:58:05Trevor Noah?

  Killing himself and the more he laughs, the more the crowd, but they're looking at him, not me. And they're like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, like, yeah, I guess we laugh now, I guess we laugh now. And then by the end of the set, thankfully, it wasn't a complete disaster. And then Cat Williams came down and I'll never forget this. Cat, Cat comes down, um, cause I walk off stage and Cat comes up to me and then he says to me, he's like, he's like, are you really from where you say you're from, young man? And I was like, yeah, and he's like, well, welcome to America, brother. And I was like, thank you, Cat, thank you very much. It's good, good meeting you and whatever, and what, you know, and we, and we chatting about comedy. He's like, come sit with me, come sit, and I go sit with him. And then he, uh, I think it was Esau McGraw was, was hosting that night.

• 1:58:50Trevor Noah?

  So Esau's hosting, they do the thing, Cat jumps onto headline, he was not on the lineup, he's just, he's Cat. So Cat jumps on at the end, does his thing, but then Cat says to the audience, he starts talking about comedy. Then he's like, you ungrateful sons of bitches don't even understand the level of comedy you were experiencing here tonight. This young man from South Africa stood on stage and he regaled you with some of the finest humor. But you ignorant people of Los Angeles were unable to comprehend what you were experiencing. And this may never happen again in your lifetimes.

• 1:59:28Trevor Noah?

  And then he looks at me in the balcony, he's like, my African brother, I apologize for the ignorance of these who were gathered here in your midst. And now I'm like, yo, bro, you don't need to do, but he just, he just went on and he killed and he did like, you know, he did whatever. He did, you know, current affairs, did low, his own material, did his own stuff, did whatever. And then at the, the way they treated me after that, I will never, like, they were like, yo, so you, you come back next week, man? Yo, yo, you, and people are giving me cards, like, yo, I got a club, you gotta come and do this thing, man, yo, the, the, the guy with. Genuinely, Cat Williams, that guy loves comedy.

• 2:00:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:00:03Trevor Noah?

  Loves comedians.

• 2:00:04Speaker 01

  Loves, oh.

• 2:00:05Trevor Noah?

  Loves the like, he's, he goes to what I'm saying about like, even when I see Cat Williams on stage, I feel like Cat Williams is doing comedy for the joy of the thing that he's doing.

• 2:00:15Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:00:16Trevor Noah?

  Does that make sense?

• 2:00:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:00:17Trevor Noah?

  He does not feel, he reminds me to do comedy for the joy of comedy, not for the business of comedy. And the thing is, the business of comedy is so powerful that it can pull you. But the joy of comedy is the thing that'll sustain you.

• 2:00:30Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 2:00:31Trevor Noah?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 2:00:32Speaker 01

  Yeah. Cat, Cat Williams.

• 2:00:36Speaker 01

  Amazing person. He, he actually, I feel like he does comedy at, for, at his level. That makes sense? It's almost like.

• 2:00:44Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, he just does his own.

• 2:00:45Speaker 01

  He doesn't care about what you do.

• 2:00:46Trevor Noah?

  He defines his own, yeah, yeah.

• 2:00:47Speaker 01

  I remember when I did the show at the Laugh Factory, I went on, I, I had an amazing set, and Cat went on after me. And, and he goes, this nigga, I was gonna come up here and just work out some jokes, but this nigga got me telling my old jokes.

• 2:01:05Speaker 01

  And right, and, and the thing is, the way he was saying it, I'm like, is, is he really mad at me? Right? So after the show, I saw, saw him say, hey, I need to talk to you, come here. I'm like, oh shit, he was mad. He's like, listen, man, he went in his pocket, he was, I'm like, oh shit, oh shit. He said, listen, man, these comedy clubs, they don't be paying what you work. They don't, they, they treat you like shit. And pulled out four hundred dollar bills. He said, here, take it. I'm like, thank you. I, I was so confused with what's happening.

• 2:01:38Trevor Noah?

  The emotions are everywhere.

• 2:01:40Speaker 01

  Thanks. He said, yeah, take it. And then, and I'm like, wow. No one ever treated me like that.

• 2:01:45Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, my Cat, he's just like, you know, he's, you need people like him in comedy.

• 2:01:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:01:50Trevor Noah?

  Like they, because they love comedy. But that's what I mean, like you.

• 2:01:52Speaker 01

  And he pulls people up, man.

• 2:01:53Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, look at your life and your career, like the Cat Williams, Dave Chappelle, the Chris Rocks, the, you know what I mean? Aziz Ansari, the, do you know what I mean?

• 2:02:02Speaker 01

  Another one, yeah. Aziz Ansari put me in his movie.

• 2:02:04Trevor Noah?

  Oh yeah, that was, that was amazing, actually.

• 2:02:06Speaker 01

  Did you see Good Fortune? I will now.

• 2:02:09Trevor Noah?

  I loved Good Fortune.

• 2:02:10Speaker 01

  Oh yeah?

• 2:02:10Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah. Can I, can I tell you what I loved about it is, um, these days, I think it's becoming increasingly rare to see a movie that you haven't seen before. And I don't just mean that literally, like IP, like so many movies are reboots of other movies or stories. But it's rare to watch a movie where you just don't know what's gonna happen because you haven't seen it before. Like, he watches movies like that all the time. If Dave ever recommends a movie to you, be very careful. You should watch it, but don't expect anything normal.

• 2:02:43Speaker 01

  Like, like how Cat Williams watched you.

• 2:02:45Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, like, like Dave watches, Dave only watches movies that have endings.

• 2:02:51Speaker 01

  That not typical ending.

• 2:02:53Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, that leave people, like you walk out of the cinema, be cinema questioning yourself.

• 2:02:57Speaker 01

  Like Sixth Sense.

• 2:02:58Trevor Noah?

  Not even. That's like, that's like a chill version.

• 2:03:00Speaker 01

  Sixth Sense was not, no one expects.

• 2:03:02Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, that's just a twist. That's, Dave would watch, okay, this is the kind of movie Dave would watch. It would be Sixth Sense. But everyone would be French. And then the child, instead of seeing ghosts, would say that like, they see the pain that the world is in. And then instead of Bruce Willis, it would be a flower. And then instead of, instead of like a two hour movie, it would be like four and a half. Those are the kind of movies that Dave watches.

• 2:03:30Speaker 01

  That's a lot of reading.

• 2:03:32Speaker 02

  No, um, the, one of the reasons is it's a version of what you're saying. Is that you, I like the thing of not knowing what's gonna happen.

• 2:03:41Trevor Noah?

  That's what I credited you. I'm not even slamming you.

• 2:03:43Speaker 02

  No, no, no. So I'm saying in an ideal world, it would be contained almost like within normal.

• 2:03:50Trevor Noah?

  Yes, I know what you mean.

• 2:03:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, like so, cause every now and then you'll see, let's say a rom com. Where you know, you sort of like know what's gonna happen.

• 2:03:57Trevor Noah?

  Yes, you know exactly what's gonna happen.

• 2:03:59Speaker 02

  Things are so refreshing within it that you're like, wow, I was.

• 2:04:02Trevor Noah?

  That's how I felt about Good Fortune, and I'm not saying that because you were in it. I'm not saying that because of Aziz. I genuinely enjoyed that somebody tried to make something, and I think succeeded. That upended a lot of the ideas that you would have of how a plot and a story are supposed to go.

• 2:04:16Speaker 02

  Yes, right. But still pulls it off.

• 2:04:18Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, completely. And I remember watching it and I was like, oh shit, this is, and then you walked in and I was like, oh shit, Will. I felt like such a, like, it's such a weird feeling, cause I know you, and then you, then the movie and I was like, oh shit, Will.

• 2:04:29Speaker 01

  You saw that dance routine I did?

• 2:04:31Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, that was very good.

• 2:04:32Speaker 01

  It took me four hours to get that dance routine.

• 2:04:35Trevor Noah?

  Is that long?

• 2:04:36Speaker 01

  I, I still didn't get it after four hours.

• 2:04:38Trevor Noah?

  Oh, that's, that's what you should mention then. You should say after. Four hours, I still didn't have it down. If you say I got it in four hours, you seem like a good dancer. If you say I didn't get it.

• 2:04:49Speaker 01

  I didn't get it.

• 2:04:50Speaker 02

  Your dancing is very interesting.

• 2:04:52Speaker 01

  You saw it?

• 2:04:53Speaker 02

  I didn't see it.

• 2:04:58Speaker 01

  Are you on medication?

• 2:05:02Speaker 01

  What's that mean?

• 2:05:03Trevor Noah?

  Aren't you supposed to be a good dancer though, because you're a good boxer?

• 2:05:05Speaker 02

  That's what I was gonna say, is that you recently became a boxer.

• 2:05:08Trevor Noah?

  No, he didn't. He recently had his first professional fight.

• 2:05:10Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought you recently became a boxer.

• 2:05:12Trevor Noah?

  No, this guy's been boxing for like fifty years.

• 2:05:14Speaker 02

  Oh, really? Is that where the speech and pepper come from?

• 2:05:17Speaker 01

  I started boxing two thousand seven, no, two thousand ten.

• 2:05:21Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 2:05:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I started, got my first professional fight.

• 2:05:25Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I thought you started boxing.

• 2:05:28Speaker 01

  But, but, but, but I never had rhythm. When I jump rope, I, I, I, I skip a lot because my rhythm is always off. My rhythm always been off.

• 2:05:35Trevor Noah?

  Huh.

• 2:05:36Speaker 01

  I can't, you know, when I dance, people think like, you must be white down, down inside. You know, I, I never had, I never had rhythm.

• 2:05:43Trevor Noah?

  Family, Haitians have rhythm.

• 2:05:46Speaker 01

  We have, yes, a lot of rhythm in Haiti. But, but, I, the, in, since we're not in Haiti, we're in America, my dad made sure, uh, focus on your schoolwork.

• 2:05:58Trevor Noah?

  So he was like, no rhythm for my kids. Your dad was a hard man.

• 2:06:02Speaker 02

  Your daughter's a hard guy.

• 2:06:03Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, your dad was a really hard man. Is that rhythm I hear in your room?

• 2:06:08Trevor Noah?

  If that, is that rhythm? Are you dancing to that beat, Will?

• 2:06:17Trevor Noah?

  That is crazy.

• 2:06:18Speaker 01

  So I, so I never really developed. No one taught me how to dance. My parents didn't teach you how to dance. You know, we couldn't really be around girls and stuff because my mother said, if you hug a girl, she'll get pregnant, so make sure you don't hug no girls.

• 2:06:29Trevor Noah?

  Wow.

• 2:06:29Speaker 01

  I didn't get my first hug until I was, uh, six, sixteen.

• 2:06:34Trevor Noah?

  You're trying to get her pregnant?

• 2:06:35Speaker 01

  My first hug outside of my fam, but you know, when your mother give you a hug is, my arms are always like, yeah, my, I love you too, I love you too.

• 2:06:41Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, because you'd already got your mom pregnant.

• 2:06:46Trevor Noah?

  I mean, you can't leave a child with that information. You can't say to a child, if you hug a woman, she'll get pregnant. And then you're like, no, can't give your mom a hug.

• 2:06:53Speaker 01

  So, so, so the thing is, my first hug ironically was from a priest.

• 2:06:58Trevor Noah?

  Oh, wow.

• 2:06:59Speaker 01

  I was very religious.

• 2:07:00Trevor Noah?

  Wow.

• 2:07:01Speaker 01

  I was born, raised Catholic.

• 2:07:03Trevor Noah?

  Should we, should we get ready for another bumshell on this show, Will?

• 2:07:05Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no.

• 2:07:06Trevor Noah?

  Okay, okay.

• 2:07:06Speaker 01

  So, so it was one of these, uh, Saturday classes, CCD. And then all the kids was greeting and hugging each other. And I was just on the side, just watching, you know. And, and Father Brennan, or Father John, one of them, came up to me and goes, "Why you not, why you not greeting?" I'm like, "I, I never hugged anybody. I don't, I, I don't know what to do." He said, "You never hugged nobody." He said, he had a big brown robe on with the big ass arms. He said, "Come here." And he opened his arms, and I just went in, and he hugged me. And I was like, "Holy shit, it felt so good."

• 2:07:41Trevor Noah?

  Aw, Will.

• 2:07:42Speaker 01

  But my penis didn't get hard. That's how I knew I was like, you know what I'm saying?

• 2:07:45Trevor Noah?

  No one thought your penis was hard.

• 2:07:46Speaker 01

  It was genuine. It was gen- genuine.

• 2:07:48Trevor Noah?

  No one, no one thought that.

• 2:07:50Speaker 01

  Huh?

• 2:07:50Trevor Noah?

  Nobody thought that.

• 2:07:53Speaker 01

  No, because, because this guy.

• 2:07:55Trevor Noah?

  You added a thing.

• 2:07:55Speaker 01

  This guy said.

• 2:07:56Trevor Noah?

  Would you like some, uh, can I have some popcorn? And we're not gonna put gravy on top. We didn't think that.

• 2:08:02Speaker 01

  No, because I hope, I hope. You get someone pregnant.

• 2:08:04Trevor Noah?

  You just said, Wilson.

• 2:08:05Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:08:06Trevor Noah?

  That's how I knew it wasn't genuine. That's how I knew it was genuine. But he's a guy. Oh, man.

• 2:08:11Speaker 01

  Because, because I'm like, okay, no one's gonna get pregnant. It, it happened to be a girl. It was just a hug. Like, wow. It was, it ain't got nothing to do with sex. It was just a hug.

• 2:08:20Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 2:08:20Speaker 01

  It felt so good. And I'm like, I gotta do this again. But it took another till I got to eighteen to do it again, but.

• 2:08:27Trevor Noah?

  Who was the eighteen hug?

• 2:08:28Speaker 01

  My first girlfriend.

• 2:08:29Trevor Noah?

  Oh, look at that.

• 2:08:32Speaker 01

  My first girlfriend, uh, but I, we, I, I avoided having sex with her. But I was very religious.

• 2:08:39Trevor Noah?

  That's good, that's fine.

• 2:08:40Speaker 01

  They had sex, I was twenty four, I was a virgin, I was twenty four.

• 2:08:42Trevor Noah?

  Wow.

• 2:08:43Speaker 01

  But I, I used to lie to girls, like, oh, oh, I gotta, I gotta go, I'm, I gotta go to work, or I gotta do some homework. I gotta go back to class.

• 2:08:50Trevor Noah?

  Oh, when, when it was.

• 2:08:51Speaker 01

  We'd be butt naked, oh, no, I forgot, and I get, and I, and I leave, leave the place.

• 2:08:56Trevor Noah?

  Damn, you were, because you were so scared of sex because you were religious, you were like, I gotta get out of this situation.

• 2:09:01Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:09:02Trevor Noah?

  Resisting temptation, essentially.

• 2:09:03Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 2:09:03Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, and then you were like, my boss gave me the keys so I can, I can clock in at any time. There's a work order waiting for me, I gotta.

• 2:09:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:09:09Trevor Noah?

  And then you'd run out.

• 2:09:10Speaker 01

  I run out, and, and girls like, okay, all right, I'm, all right, yeah.

• 2:09:15Trevor Noah?

  I wonder if one of your girlfriends thought you were like a superhero.

• 2:09:18Speaker 01

  Or.

• 2:09:19Trevor Noah?

  Because that's what like Peter Parker does. Think about it, Peter Parker will be on a date.

• 2:09:24Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 2:09:25Trevor Noah?

  And then out of nowhere, be like, I gotta go. And it's like, what happened, and it was his spidey sense.

• 2:09:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. There's a crime somewhere.

• 2:09:31Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, same Batman will be the same thing, Superman, same vibe. So maybe one of them was like, he's a superhero. And then they're gonna watch this podcast and be like, no, he, he thought he was gonna have.

• 2:09:42Speaker 01

  He was religious. He just wanted to get to heaven. Religious from hate.

• 2:09:47Trevor Noah?

  So what happened at twenty four?

• 2:09:49Speaker 01

  Twenty four, uh, I, I met this girl, got her back to my place, um, we'll call her S, in case she. Um, and we started making out, and, um, you wanna hear a story?

• 2:10:03Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, I don't, you don't have to give me the details, it's like, you know, I just wanna know what changed, rather, because.

• 2:10:08Speaker 01

  I just.

• 2:10:08Trevor Noah?

  You were always like the escape artist.

• 2:10:10Speaker 01

  I was, I was like, I got, what am I doing, I gotta, let me, let me just, you know.

• 2:10:14Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 2:10:14Speaker 01

  Make it happen, you know, and then, you know, we made it happen.

• 2:10:19Trevor Noah?

  Was this will pre, because, because there's a will that existed, like, sort of pre the healthy, pre the boxing.

• 2:10:27Speaker 01

  Oh, I was, I was, health was always in the back of my head.

• 2:10:31Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 2:10:31Speaker 01

  I, even when I was little, health was very, because actually when my grandmother passed away, I'm like, man, it, it, she was living a healthier life. She probably would have been here longer, you know, and then, you know, then, you know, uh, so health was always there. Always there, but I never really took initiative until later on, until, you know, uh, what changed my life about health was two, two things. I did a show with a tank top on. And I was dating this girl and I I did a great show and I got off stage and she said, Ava was saying, good job, good job. She said, either do, either wear a shirt or wear the tank top without the stomach. I go, what? What does that mean?

• 2:11:15Speaker 01

  I have a big stomach, but nice arms.

• 2:11:17Trevor Noah?

  What did you, what did you weigh at your heaviest?

• 2:11:19Speaker 01

  Uh, two twenty.

• 2:11:20Trevor Noah?

  Have you seen Will's pictures?

• 2:11:22Speaker 02

  I have not. I've only ever seen this Will.

• 2:11:24Trevor Noah?

  If you see Will's pictures.

• 2:11:26Speaker 01

  I was two twenty, yeah.

• 2:11:26Trevor Noah?

  At his heaviest, it's, it's a pretty amazing.

• 2:11:29Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 2:11:29Speaker 01

  Transformation?

• 2:11:30Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 2:11:31Speaker 01

  I use that word correctly?

• 2:11:32Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, you use that word.

• 2:11:33Speaker 02

  When did the transformation happen?

• 2:11:35Speaker 01

  Uh, two thousand seven. I, I gave up, I gave up. In fact, every year I was giving something up. That year I gave up poultry, all, all, all types of turkeys, chicken.

• 2:11:46Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 2:11:46Speaker 01

  Gave up poultry. I thought that was gonna be very hard. And I gave up poultry. The next year I gave up, um, oh, fried things, anything fried.

• 2:11:56Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 2:11:56Speaker 01

  Right? Uh, then the year after that, I gave up, um, uh, ice cream and, and like, you know, not like a lot of sugary things.

• 2:12:05Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 2:12:05Speaker 01

  But I, sugar always kept coming back and forth. Then the forty.

• 2:12:08Trevor Noah?

  Sugar's the devil, man.

• 2:12:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:12:10Trevor Noah?

  Will sent me a, a DM this morning about sugar. That's probably like the only thing Will sends me. He just sent me like a random message out of the blue. Sugar is killing you. Let me tell you what sugar does to the human body.

• 2:12:24Speaker 01

  Uh, dementia?

• 2:12:25Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. You sent me the video. I know, I know, I know.

• 2:12:29Speaker 01

  And then, um, the, the hardest thing.

• 2:12:31Trevor Noah?

  It's almost like you know when I'm on my couch, about to have ice cream and then you DM me and I'm like, huh, what's this? Sugar will destroy your life. Sugar will make cancer in your brain. And I'm like, oh, thank you, Will.

• 2:12:43Speaker 01

  And, and so the one year, uh, that this is the fourth or fifth year, I was giving up dairy. I'm like, oh, if I give a chicken, I give a dairy, it's gonna be easy. Dairy was so hard. I, cause I love cheese. I put, I used to put cheese on everything. If there was cheese, put extra cheese. It nev- it never had cheese? Well, let's try and see what happens. You know, and, and, uh, and then I read up on why is it so hard? And that's when I first started doing research on health and is addicting, is, um, cheese, dairy is probably the worst thing you could put in your body. So much, it causes so much inflammation.

• 2:13:17Trevor Noah?

  No, but which dairy? You always say this and I always fight against this, Will. Which dairy? You gotta be specific. Cause like. It can't just be dairy.

• 2:13:24Speaker 01

  Milk, milk, milk.

• 2:13:26Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but what I mean is like.

• 2:13:27Speaker 01

  They use milk for so many things.

• 2:13:28Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but what I mean is this, right? This, this, this is like.

• 2:13:31Speaker 01

  Except for eggs. I don't think, I don't consider eggs dairy.

• 2:13:33Trevor Noah?

  Sorry to bring like the listeners slash you into the like these conversations that I have with Will. But like, so my thing with Will is this, I go, I think sometimes you are so obsessed with the pursuit of health that you will make like the unhealthy decision or the, you know, you know what I mean?

• 2:13:48Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 2:13:48Trevor Noah?

  Or a decision that isn't necessarily backed by like the.

• 2:13:55Trevor Noah?

  People have eaten dairy since forever.

• 2:13:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:13:58Trevor Noah?

  There are unhealthy ways to eat things and there are healthy ways to eat things, right? There are, there are healthier cheeses than other cheeses. There are good things you can get from cheeses that, you know what I mean?

• 2:14:08Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 2:14:09Trevor Noah?

  They were like, I, okay, here's what I'll say. I think if you, you could eat a little more cheese and sleep more and your health would be better.

• 2:14:19Trevor Noah?

  That's what I'm saying. I'm saying three hours of sleep is worse for your health than cheese.

• 2:14:24Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I mean, look, everything for a healthy lifestyle, good sleep, eating healthy, exercising, all that. You know, you can't substitute one, you can't say, oh, I eat more cheese but sleep more. Or, no, everything contributes to your health in a different form or pattern.

• 2:14:43Trevor Noah?

  But no cheese?

• 2:14:44Speaker 01

  No, because it's.

• 2:14:45Trevor Noah?

  So what do you eat now?

• 2:14:46Speaker 01

  Okay, the reason, you know why? You know why I gave up chicken? And people always say, well, get, um, um, um, what's the healthy chicken?

• 2:14:54Trevor Noah?

  What's the healthy chicken?

• 2:14:55Speaker 01

  The, you know, the.

• 2:14:55Trevor Noah?

  Organic chicken?

• 2:14:56Speaker 01

  Organic chicken.

• 2:14:57Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:14:57Speaker 01

  And, and the reason why I gave it up is because if I go someplace, right? And they don't have organic chicken.

• 2:15:03Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 2:15:03Speaker 01

  They just got the, the, the drug infested chicken.

• 2:15:06Trevor Noah?

  Like free range, drug infested chicken. This man just said drug infested chicken.

• 2:15:11Speaker 01

  Right?

• 2:15:12Trevor Noah?

  Oh, man.

• 2:15:12Speaker 01

  Chicken they put all the drugs into.

• 2:15:13Trevor Noah?

  No, I know, but I've never heard anyone call it drug infested chicken.

• 2:15:18Speaker 02

  The crackhead just rocked up.

• 2:15:19Trevor Noah?

  Man, I'm just picturing like chicken, this is like on the farm, it's just like, ah, man, come on, man. Okay, so, yeah.

• 2:15:28Speaker 01

  If I go there, they don't have the healthy chicken. If I got the craving for it, I'm just gonna eat the bad chicken.

• 2:15:34Trevor Noah?

  Because you're already eating chicken.

• 2:15:35Speaker 01

  If I give up entirely, then I won't have, I, I, the cravings will eventually leave my body.

• 2:15:40Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 2:15:40Speaker 01

  And so I won't, I won't care if I had, you know, that makes sense?

• 2:15:43Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, so what, but what do you eat now?

• 2:15:45Speaker 01

  Basically, I'm a pescatarian, fish, veggies, fruits and nuts, those are.

• 2:15:49Trevor Noah?

  Are you worried now that fish is being farmed and is?

• 2:15:52Speaker 01

  It's becoming sick now and it's not. Well, I I try not to get farm raised fish. I get my fish from a from a place that they catch the fish fresh. Yeah. And they ship it to your house real quick. Oh, wow. Yeah. I didn't know that that's a thing. Yeah, a place called, okay, shout out some places. Yeah, you can say it's a real thing. From sea to table. From sea to table. Yeah. Oh, it's like a digital service and then you order the fish. You order the fish. They should have gone with like Netfish. That would have been a better one. Oh, that, yeah. That would have been a cool name. There's a few companies, but Sea Table is one I use a lot of. Okay. And. Do you get to like pick the fish itself or you just? They have different fishes. They show you the picture of the fish. And you can pick the fish you want, yeah. And they send it to your house? Sends you house immediately, uh, with with that, that.

• 2:16:35Speaker 01

  The styrofoam packing, yeah. And um, and then you put in, yeah, I've been, so I really cook most of my foods and stuff. So fish veggies. You can't really go wrong with veggies, even though they have been making bad veggies, but you know, um. Drug infested veggies. Drug infested veggies.

• 2:16:56Speaker 01

  Fu- fruits, uh, man, I've been, one year, one summer, I decided to try different food I never had. And, you know, I got, I got into dragon fruit. I got into, um, I can't even name the fruit. So many different type of fruits. You are that guy, I will say that. And, you know, cause we we tend to use, if you think about it, people tend to eat the same five things. Whatever the five things are. For their life. Yeah. They never try, huh? Yeah, for the most part. For the most part. And I I tried different fruits. I mean, some was good, some was bad, according to the taste. Um, and then nuts and, you know, mostly almonds, um, um, cashews. What's the one that look like your brain? What's the one that looks like a brain? Look like a brain.

• 2:17:41Speaker 02

  Walnut.

• 2:17:41Speaker 01

  Walnuts. Walnuts. Yeah. Walnuts is actually good for your brain, ironically. Cause they look like your brain? I don't know.

• 2:17:51Trevor Noah?

  Are you gonna act more?

• 2:17:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wrote a movie, I Am a Reese, you know about it.

• 2:17:57Trevor Noah?

  That's the one about the Haitian boxer?

• 2:18:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, come from Haiti to America to pursue his boxing career.

• 2:18:03Trevor Noah?

  Oh, I like that. You should make him fight Rocky.

• 2:18:07Speaker 01

  And the winner get the robot.

• 2:18:08Trevor Noah?

  The winner gets the robot. And then you, what did you like about acting that you didn't get from like stand up? What is it about, like when you're doing the movie with Aziz?

• 2:18:18Speaker 01

  It's just your creativity. So these are the lines, but you be creative with how you wanna present these lines. You know?

• 2:18:25Trevor Noah?

  Your scene is really funny, man.

• 2:18:27Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 2:18:27Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, it's properly funny.

• 2:18:28Speaker 01

  Oh, thanks. Yeah, Aziz is a great writer, cuz those are his words.

• 2:18:33Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but it's fantastic.

• 2:18:34Speaker 01

  But there's some of the words I did change.

• 2:18:36Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, there were some wills in there, I could tell. I could tell.

• 2:18:39Speaker 01

  When we was on the balcony and it's like, you got me eating things I can't even pronounce, I couldn't pronounce that special dish.

• 2:18:47Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, no, it was good.

• 2:18:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, thanks, man.

• 2:18:49Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, I'm excited for you, man. I'm excited for like this next phase of you. I just, no more, no more like professional boxing. I don't think it's necessary. But that's just me. I mean, I'm happy you.

• 2:18:59Speaker 01

  No, I just wanted to get out my system.

• 2:19:00Trevor Noah?

  Okay, cool.

• 2:19:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:19:01Trevor Noah?

  Did you win?

• 2:19:02Speaker 01

  I won unanimously.

• 2:19:04Trevor Noah?

  That's what I'm talking about, man.

• 2:19:07Speaker 01

  Fist bump was that, pun intended, no pun intended?

• 2:19:09Trevor Noah?

  No, no pun intended. No pun intended. This is great. Dave, do you have any questions before I let Will go? Are you doing a set tonight? You do a set every single night?

• 2:19:17Speaker 01

  Every night at the Comedy Cellar.

• 2:19:19Trevor Noah?

  How many nights off do you take a year?

• 2:19:22Speaker 01

  I don't take any nights off.

• 2:19:23Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, almost nothing, right?

• 2:19:25Speaker 01

  Unless if I gotta travel that, like when I go to Australia, cuz you miss a day when you travel to Australia. I can't perform on the plane.

• 2:19:32Trevor Noah?

  Oh, not yet.

• 2:19:34Speaker 02

  I can ask one question, but you have to answer it in the shortest possible way.

• 2:19:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:19:39Speaker 02

  What do you like about boxing?

• 2:19:44Speaker 01

  That it allows me to defend myself, allow me to get aggression out when I hit the bag.

• 2:19:50Speaker 02

  Okay, great.

• 2:19:51Trevor Noah?

  Love boxing. Huh. It's not the question I thought you would ask, and that's not the answer that I thought you would give.

• 2:19:59Trevor Noah?

  That's who you are, Will, an international man of mystery.

• 2:20:03Trevor Noah?

  This has been fun, my friend. Thank you very much.

• 2:20:04Speaker 01

  Thanks for having me, man.

• 2:20:05Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, man, this has been dope.

• 2:20:06Speaker 01

  You're canceled.

• 2:20:07Trevor Noah?

  Why are you gonna say that? Why would you say that? Why would you say that?

• 2:20:12Speaker 01

  I'm like, you want me?

• 2:20:13Trevor Noah?

  What do you mean, man? Of course I want you. You're one of my favorite people. You know this, though.

• 2:20:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:20:17Trevor Noah?

  You know this. Come on, we've been around the world together. We've had meals together. We've watched sporting events together. We've done stand up comedy together for years. We've eaten countless meals.

• 2:20:27Speaker 02

  We almost, well, I mean, got killed together.

• 2:20:33Speaker 02

  Remember that bus driver?

• 2:20:44Trevor Noah?

  Oh, man. Every time I see a Sprinter van, I think of you now. Every single time. That journey started with you saying, this is, this is how you should travel. And then I'll never forget in the middle of it, Dave stopped. Cause to give context to anyone who's listening or watching this. Will is a big fan of Sprinter vans for long distance travel.

• 2:21:10Speaker 01

  I was calling splinters for some reason.

• 2:21:12Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, you were calling them splinters, like the ninja turtles. So you were like, you gotta get a splinter. Then I was like, what? And you're like, a splinter van. And I was like, oh, Sprinter van. So we, we, we decided, let's get a Sprinter because Will genuinely believes that sprinters are the best way to travel to and from a comedy show.

• 2:21:27Speaker 01

  Vurses, wait, wait, Tom, vurses?

• 2:21:30Trevor Noah?

  Versus what? Versus an SUV?

• 2:21:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, three hours.

• 2:21:34Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, like a car. Yeah, that's fine. I, I just go in a normal car. You were like, no, gotta get a Sprinter van.

• 2:21:39Speaker 02

  But he gave you the picture.

• 2:21:41Trevor Noah?

  He did. In his defense, Will gave me a picture of the Sprinter van that he was talking about.

• 2:21:45Speaker 02

  This was a very luxurious.

• 2:21:46Trevor Noah?

  It was a very luxurious Sprinter van.

• 2:21:48Speaker 02

  It was like, wow, this is great.

• 2:21:50Trevor Noah?

  But then the Sprinter van that turned up for us.

• 2:21:52Speaker 01

  That you hired?

• 2:21:54Trevor Noah?

  Looked like.

• 2:21:56Speaker 02

  If you were taking people, yeah, if you were taking people to.

• 2:21:59Trevor Noah?

  It looked like the, the shuttle at the airport that now, you know how they've kicked rideshare services? Now they can't pick you up at most airports?

• 2:22:05Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:22:05Trevor Noah?

  You gotta get in a shuttle bus, the small ones.

• 2:22:07Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:22:07Trevor Noah?

  That take you to a parking lot in a field.

• 2:22:09Speaker 02

  Well, in my memory, in my memory, it doesn't look like that. In my memory, it looks like if, if you were, if you were no longer, how can I put it? If you were no longer, if you had overstayed your visit in the country and they need to take you to the border, they would use.

• 2:22:25Speaker 01

  I was gonna say the prison, the one, the one they transformed the prisoners from one prisoner to another.

• 2:22:28Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, it did, it did have that vibe. It did have that vibe. Except, except they also had, it also had depressing like stripper like.

• 2:22:36Trevor Noah?

  If you remember that.

• 2:22:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:22:38Trevor Noah?

  So it it felt like we were all on a bachelor party. But of someone who's been divorced four times and now the money's run out and things are really bad. And and we're in the we're in the car. And we're driving and my favorite memory of this drive is we're two hours into a four hour drive. And Dave turned to you mid conversation and he said, Will. Cause cause the wind was blowing so hard that the van kept on tilting over. And then the driver would have to stop suddenly in the middle of the highway. And then he'd be like, sorry, guys, the wind is really bad. And then he'd start driving again and the bus would tilt over and he'd be like, sorry, guys, the wind is really bad.

• 2:23:19Trevor Noah?

  And then Dave turned to you, we were having a regular conversation and Dave turned to you and he said, Will, I'm not gonna lie. Our friendship is on a thread right now.

• 2:23:29Trevor Noah?

  He said, you and your vehicle have put our friendship on a thread and I I I don't know if we're gonna be friends after this ride.

• 2:23:35Speaker 01

  But let's be honest, the driver was a bad driver.

• 2:23:37Trevor Noah?

  I can't say that about him because it was really windy. Do you remember the truck that was uh? You don't remember the truck he showed us that was like?

• 2:23:43Speaker 01

  Little truck.

• 2:23:44Trevor Noah?

  The FedEx truck, that was a massive truck.

• 2:23:45Speaker 01

  One truck, well, I mean, like one truck going in the wind, but.

• 2:23:48Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but it was.

• 2:23:49Speaker 01

  Every car was, you know what I'm saying?

• 2:23:51Trevor Noah?

  Hey, man, I don't I'm not gonna judge the driver. I'm gonna judge the person who told us to get the splinter van. Cause you were very specific about that.

• 2:24:01Speaker 01

  Pacific, Pacific.

• 2:24:04Trevor Noah?

  Uh, Will, this was fun, man.

• 2:24:05Speaker 01

  Thank you for having me.

• 2:24:05Trevor Noah?

  So much, man. We'll see you at the show.

• 2:24:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:24:12Trevor Noah?

  Apple Card is designed to support your financial well being. With unlimited daily cash back on every purchase and the ability to track your spending on your iPhone. Apple Card helps you lead a healthier financial life. So that way you can stress less about money and focus more on enjoying your life. Cause you know what I've realized about financial health, Eugene?

• 2:24:32Speaker 03

  Here we go.

• 2:24:32Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, no.

• 2:24:34Speaker 03

  Are you gonna are you gonna give me some money?

• 2:24:37Trevor Noah?

  I'm gonna do something better. I'm gonna teach you how to keep and manage your money.

• 2:24:42Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 2:24:44Trevor Noah?

  That maybe I'll give you. Financial health is a is a feeling, right? And like most feelings, you don't notice it when you don't have it, but you notice it when you finally do.

• 2:24:55Speaker 03

  That's true, cause feelings are fleeting.

• 2:24:57Trevor Noah?

  Exactly.

• 2:24:58Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 2:24:59Trevor Noah?

  So when you've got like your financial health, it's like, it's that moment when you. You spend money and then you just don't think about it again. Do you know what I mean?

• 2:25:07Speaker 03

  Beautiful feeling.

• 2:25:08Trevor Noah?

  Exactly. So you spend money and then you're not second guessing. There's no mental math later. Oh, did I go over? Did I go under? No replaying the decision in your head. You just spend it because you know you can and then you're done.

• 2:25:19Speaker 03

  You can never be done spending, Trevor.

• 2:25:21Trevor Noah?

  Yes, but you can be done thinking about the spending, Eugene. And and and I used to think financial health was about big milestones. Like I thought financial health will be achieved when I earn more, when I save more, when I do everything right.

• 2:25:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, but that's what everyone thinks.

• 2:25:36Trevor Noah?

  That's what everyone thinks. That's the trap. Financial health can happen at any level if you are lucky enough to have finances. Because in real life, it shows up in much smaller ways. It's in the clarity, you know? You you know what's coming in. You actually know what's going out. And you're not surprised by your own life. Like, wow, I spent that much on on car rides. I spent this much on movie tickets. Wha- what am I doing with my life? Or you just know that you're you're in your budget. Because when you don't know, every decision becomes heavier. You're guessing with your life and your money. Do you know what I mean?

• 2:26:13Speaker 03

  But you know what they say? Budgets are like promises. They're meant to be broken.

• 2:26:18Trevor Noah?

  I I don't think that's correct.

• 2:26:19Speaker 03

  I made it up. Yeah, I totally made it up.

• 2:26:22Trevor Noah?

  You know what? It had a nice feeling. I I think let's go with budgets are are are like your face in a mirror. When you can actually see it, you you know what you're dealing with. I'm gonna work on this. I'm gonna work on this. The point is, it's got to be a choice. And the more you know, the better your choices can be. Does this make sense?

• 2:26:43Speaker 03

  Makes absolute sense.

• 2:26:44Trevor Noah?

  Exactly. So if people understood that they can make a choice because they know what's happening. And then when you understand it, it changes how you move. You decide differently, you pause differently, you feel more in control. Well, not of everything, right? But enough. And that's financial health to me. And over time, those small, consistent things are what make your financial life feel steady. Not perfect, just steady.

• 2:27:09Speaker 03

  You know what? I'll take steady any day.

• 2:27:13Trevor Noah?

  Oh, Eugene. I like that.

• 2:27:16Speaker 03

  It wasn't a proposal.

• 2:27:17Trevor Noah?

  Oh, I thought you were saying we should go steady.

• 2:27:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, steady fees, steady funds, steady money.

• 2:27:22Trevor Noah?

  Oh, okay. Well, regardless of that, remember, Apple Card is good for your wallet. It's designed to support your financial well-being. It's a no-fee credit card that lets you track your spending on your iPhone. Plus, you can get unlimited daily cash back on every purchase. Stress less about money and focus more on enjoying life. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from seventeen point four nine percent to twenty seven point seven four percent, based on creditworthiness. Rates as of January one, twenty twenty six.

• 2:28:04Trevor Noah?

  Existing customers can view their variable APR in the Wallet app or card.apple.com.

• 2:28:12Trevor Noah?

  What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Day Zero Productions in partnership with Sirius XM. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin, and Jess Hackel. Rebecca Chain is our producer. Our development researcher is Marcia Robiu. Music mixing and mastering by Hannes Brown. Random other stuff by Ryan Harduth. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next week for another episode of What Now.