South Africa Sessions: The Greatest Snake Oil Salesman ft. Sizwe Dhlomo

Sizwe and Eugene are not letting Trevor get a hair transplant without a fight. What starts as a beard debate spirals into elbow grafts, foreskin logistics, and the exact wingspan-to-height ratio you'd need after leg-lengthening surgery. Trevor makes an unexpectedly convincing case for Elon Musk as pure talent wrapped in pure bamboozlement, and the three rank which movies actually change how you see the world -- plus Trevor's borderline-scientific approach to watching them on a plane. Then it turns real: xenophobia, why nuance doesn't sell, and who a mob actually protects when it picks a target.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:04Trevor Noah?

  Because here's the thing about Elon Musk. Elon Musk is equal parts talent,

• 0:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:08Trevor Noah?

  vision and bamboozlement, which might be the perfect combination in life.

• 0:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:13Trevor Noah?

  R T D two will roast you with those sounds, bruh. Doesn't even choke. Then you're like, ah, how can you say that about my mom, R T D two? You just had literally Nigerians being like, oh, South Africa, you can't go. You can't, I don't want to hear. We're going, we're going to find you where you are performing. We're going to find you where you are doing. Then I was like, but my brother, you're doing the exact same thing that you're complaining about now. No, but on a plane, I'm a beast, bruh. You can't beat me on an airplane.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  I don't watch on a plane, yeah.

• 0:37Trevor Noah?

  Every, you watch. Yeah, you see, you sleep on a plane. Ha, bruh. While you sleep, we grind.

• 0:42Speaker 02

  That is funny. But the reason why they do it is one out of frustration, but also because they've seen that no government official is gonna come here until a school is burning. Here's the paradox about Eugene, right? Eugene is inquisitive enough to make himself interesting, but also, no, I'm serious. But also hood enough to be ignorant.

• 1:05Trevor Noah?

  Don't do that. Watch documentaries at home.

• 1:09Speaker 02

  Because also with docies, you may wanna research certain things.

• 1:11Trevor Noah?

  There you go.

• 1:12Speaker 02

  How you research, you wanna play now?

• 1:13Speaker 01

  I believe the director.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Way.

• 1:23Trevor Noah?

  This is What Now with Trevor Noah.

• 1:30Trevor Noah?

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• 2:04Speaker 03

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• 2:35Trevor Noah?

  This episode is brought to you by Verizon.

• 2:39Trevor Noah?

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• 3:24Trevor Noah?

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• 3:53Trevor Noah?

  Yo, I have a, I have a question for you guys.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:56Trevor Noah?

  I need your advice as friends. I was thinking of going to Turkey to get a beard.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  No.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:02Trevor Noah?

  Why no? Why a beard guy so quick to stop me from getting a beard?

• 4:07Speaker 02

  He thinks, he thinks we're gatekeeping the beard.

• 4:10Trevor Noah?

  Guys.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  He thinks you.

• 4:14Trevor Noah?

  Oh, you think I should go?

• 4:14Speaker 01

  400%.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  I don't think you should go.

• 4:16Trevor Noah?

  Why not?

• 4:17Speaker 02

  Because funny enough, this is your theory, right? So, you can either have hair on top of the head and then no beard, or you can have a beard and no hair on top of the head.

• 4:28Speaker 01

  Oh, you don't believe I'm a two.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  When you're old, you can't have both, bruh. Imagine if you're rolling with a fro and a beard. This is too much.

• 4:34Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but I want options. And what I've realized is, no, let me, let me tell you what happened. So, early on in my life, I gave up my beard rights because I didn't know what the future would hold. Because you guys forget this now.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  What happens to your beard? You lasered it, right?

• 4:46Trevor Noah?

  I lasered it. I lasered my beard off, right? So, what people forget is like, beards are cool now. See, you guys roll with them. But a few years ago, these things were disgusting.

• 4:55Speaker 01

  Hey, Vele.

• 4:56Trevor Noah?

  Let's, having this on your face all the time.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  I've had accounts declined because of that.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  That is funny. I'm confused at it and like, beards are just a thing there.

• 5:04Trevor Noah?

  Yes, as I said, disgusting.

• 5:12Trevor Noah?

  So, so what I'm saying is like, for a long time, beards were considered like unkempt beards. You couldn't be in corporate work with beards. You couldn't be on TV with a beard.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:21Trevor Noah?

  You couldn't be a president with a beard. You couldn't be like, beard was just not considered, you know what I mean?

• 5:26Speaker 01

  You look suspicious.

• 5:27Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, then I think pandemic was probably the last step. But before that, beards started like coming into the game, coming into the game. You, you, you get what I'm saying?

• 5:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:34Trevor Noah?

  Then you saw like, Will Lederman with a beard, Jon Stewart, Colbert, etc. Yeah, so you started seeing like people rocking beards, rocking beards. Now, I feel like I've given up my, my legacy and inheritance.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Too soon.

• 5:48Trevor Noah?

  Not too soon. It's just like, I don't have the option.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  You should have considered us before you went for laser, to be, to be honest.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  I didn't know us then.

• 5:54Trevor Noah?

  But how was I supposed to know then?

• 5:56Speaker 01

  But also you were a kid.

• 5:57Trevor Noah?

  Guys, it didn't seem possible that beards would ever be something you would want to own in a society.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 6:05Trevor Noah?

  Like, and I'm, I'm not even lying, genuinely.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  To be quite honest, you know what?

• 6:09Trevor Noah?

  I could not have seen a future.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I, I hear you. It's like the same thing with circumcision.

• 6:13Trevor Noah?

  Wait, tell us more.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  No, I'm just saying like, if somebody was like, bro, do you think we're gonna need this jacket ever? They're like, no, leave the jacket at home, right? Then you decide to leave the jacket.

• 6:24Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  Now it's cold, you're like, yo, I want my jacket back.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  You get what I'm trying to get you?

• 6:30Trevor Noah?

  Jacket being worn in this case. The jacket, I understand.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  The jacket is obviously the.

• 6:33Trevor Noah?

  I wanna go back to circumcision to understand.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  But the jacket is a foreskin, ain't it?

• 6:37Trevor Noah?

  Yes, but who, who has ever?

• 6:42Trevor Noah?

  And this is a.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  I've never come across a guy talking about, I miss my foreskin. Never, ever, ever, ever.

• 6:46Trevor Noah?

  Yes, okay, okay, then we're on the same page.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  That's my point.

• 6:48Trevor Noah?

  Okay, then we're on the same page.

• 6:49Speaker 01

  So, I guess maybe. Why would a guy say that, Vele? Plangity, why is the guy missing his beard?

• 6:53Trevor Noah?

  This is what we're talking about, the beard. He's right, Caesar's right.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  Why is the guy missing his beard?

• 6:55Trevor Noah?

  Caesar's right.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  You chopped off his beard?

• 6:58Trevor Noah?

  When you started, yes, when you started, you sounded a little crazy.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, the beards, like you said, are now in fashion.

• 7:03Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  No one is having conversations about foreskin.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  What if jackets come back? What if jackets come back in the game now?

• 7:08Trevor Noah?

  That's what Caesar's saying. Caesar's saying, when you live in a world where it seems impossible, I'm glad he's at least seeing my point of view. You see what you just said.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  Always remember who he is, ne? The guy who said, don't go to tech.

• 7:20Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but now we're gonna get into why.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Before defending on my jacket, lah.

• 7:23Trevor Noah?

  No, I'm not defending, I'm, I'm just asking. So, I'm saying, at least you see my point of view. You understand why I did it.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, something coming, yeah.

• 7:30Trevor Noah?

  Now, my question is, why should I not go?

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Get a foreskin.

• 7:34Trevor Noah?

  You see now, the way you put it, nah.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  So, let me tell you why, right?

• 7:39Trevor Noah?

  That's not what we're talking about.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, let's keep with this analogy. I imagine to reattach your foreskin would be so weird, first of all. Because now you're gonna have like a stitch around your joint.

• 7:51Trevor Noah?

  I mean, we can just, we can just talk about beards.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  Wait, no, but also. But the beard, no, but the beard is also the same. Because now when they plant hair, like follicles in your, in your, in your face.

• 8:01Trevor Noah?

  They do that.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're gonna get scars, bro.

• 8:04Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, you won't.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  You won't?

• 8:05Trevor Noah?

  You don't. It's like a machine that just like, po, po, po, po, po, po, po, po, po. It just puts them in.

• 8:11Trevor Noah?

  There's, there's, there's different types of, there's ones where they like have to do incisions, but then there's another one where it just goes like, po, po, po, po, po, po.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Where else for a foreskin to pay corner?

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Thinking I get lapo because.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  That's funny. Now that I think about it, where would they get the flat?

• 8:28Speaker 01

  That's what I was saying.

• 8:30Trevor Noah?

  They have to do a graft, just like with hair.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  Really?

• 8:33Trevor Noah?

  Pick a part of your body, bruh.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  No, my man.

• 8:35Trevor Noah?

  Pick a part, I'll tell you where, from your elbow.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:38Trevor Noah?

  Let me tell you something. From your elbow. Guys, you know. From your elbow.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  Well, not the same, it's like a ball texture.

• 8:44Trevor Noah?

  Guys, guys, guys, guys. I like how everyone is holding their elbow right now. But guys, before you think I'm crazy, tell me another part of your body that you would have to use for a graft to get a foreskin.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  But remember, you know why you can't use an elbow?

• 8:58Trevor Noah?

  Who's pointing to their, your armpit? Are you crazy?

• 9:01Speaker 01

  You know why would?

• 9:02Trevor Noah?

  Guys, where you gonna get skin from the armpits?

• 9:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, but also armpits has like cilia. You don't want hair on your, on your, on your thing.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  Now you're putting a shield on your foreskin.

• 9:11Speaker 02

  If anything, you can use the skin from the armpits for the beard.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Now you're playing soccer. You're sweating in the wrong part.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  In.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  What is funny?

• 9:30Trevor Noah?

  You know when someone wants to zoom in with their smell, they go like this. They retract this.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  You know when now you cheat, now you that guy putting roll on on your face every morning? Now you there.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  That is funny.

• 9:43Trevor Noah?

  Thank goodness for Rexona.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  Rather your face though, imagine putting roll on your penis now in the edge.

• 9:55Trevor Noah?

  Oh, man. Guys, can we just talk like ball on ball?

• 9:57Speaker 01

  Hold on, hold on.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Different, different, you see, you see to show that skin, I think skin is like the biggest living organ.

• 10:05Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  And different parts of your body, have different parts of skin and different parts of skin has different sensations.

• 10:12Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  Apparently the elbow has the least amount of sensation.

• 10:15Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  So I wouldn't wanna put this where I need the most amount of sensation.

• 10:19Trevor Noah?

  But you don't need it on the skin.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  No, everything that touches the sun is yours, my man.

• 10:25Speaker 01

  Why would I wanna have dead patches of network?

• 10:27Speaker 02

  Everywhere the light touches.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  There's gonna be parts where there's no cellphone reception.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  That's funny.

• 10:36Speaker 01

  When, so my thing is, I would.

• 10:38Trevor Noah?

  I think, I think it will provide an enjoyable contrast.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  Also, you know that like.

• 10:43Trevor Noah?

  You know like hot cold therapy.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  Sometimes they lose sensation on the.

• 10:46Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, that's quite common.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 10:49Trevor Noah?

  That's quite common.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  Look, Mina, I would go.

• 10:51Trevor Noah?

  But I think it depends, it depends on the type of boob job you get, right?

• 10:54Speaker 01

  Or if you remove what?

• 10:55Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  No, it depends, it depends, it depends how they insert the.

• 10:58Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, how they insert the silicon or whatever they're putting in.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  But Mina, before I would go and get a foreskin to pee.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  The person I would consult.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  We made this point already.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  No, no, but now this is part, now I wanna get a tattoo artist.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  No one knows skin pain and sensation like a tattoo artist.

• 11:19Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, you're not wrong.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  So I'd go, which is the most delicate part to tattoo? Cause I know this part is hard.

• 11:25Trevor Noah?

  Fingers, no?

• 11:26Speaker 01

  No, here, here.

• 11:27Trevor Noah?

  Inside of the finger?

• 11:28Speaker 01

  My hair is not because of the skin, it's because of the bone.

• 11:30Trevor Noah?

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  So here, the skin.

• 11:32Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  Sensitive as hair, nalane. Nala. So, ikraftiam would mainly consist of.

• 11:40Trevor Noah?

  Can I tell you, the shand here, here is also good, I'll say, I will say that.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  But it could grow hair.

• 11:45Trevor Noah?

  Okay, then we have a problem.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  Means it goes slightly lower.

• 11:48Trevor Noah?

  Then we do, you do have a problem then.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:49Trevor Noah?

  Okay, can we now go back to my issue?

• 11:52Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 11:52Trevor Noah?

  Now that we've gone on this tangent, so why are you saying I shouldn't go?

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Well, first of all, like I said, I thought it was gonna definitely give you scars.

• 11:59Trevor Noah?

  No.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  But you guys are saying no now.

• 12:01Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  It most likely will not, you never know.

• 12:03Trevor Noah?

  No, it won't, it won't. Yeah, but it, there's nothing guaranteed in life, so ninety-nine percent, whatever chance, no, it won't scar.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  And then where are you getting the follicles from?

• 12:10Speaker 01

  From my hair. My man, do you, hey, deuce.

• 12:14Trevor Noah?

  Boy, but listen. But my point is, it's different type.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  No, back of the hair. In fact, when I go to Turkey, people are gonna be like, is he the, is he the main one? You know what, I'm gonna be like Neo from The Matrix in Turkey. Guys are gonna be like, wow, he, he's the one. You know where I'm gonna walk into the clinic?

• 12:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  And the, the guy there is gonna be like, Morphe is gonna be like, I've been waiting to meet you for a long time, brother. You don't know me, but I've known you my entire life. That's gonna be me, bro.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  Different type of hair though.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  No, usually, don't they take it from the back usually?

• 12:44Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, they take it from.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  No, what I'm saying, it's different type of hair, like your beard is not the same type of hair as hair on the head.

• 12:49Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but they can find, so that's another thing that.

• 12:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:52Trevor Noah?

  That we.

• 12:52Speaker 02

  Now you're getting braids, yeah.

• 12:53Trevor Noah?

  But that's.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Talking about a bro.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  No, just look at his hair and then look at his beard.

• 13:02Trevor Noah?

  But Caesar, wait.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  It's not even the same color.

• 13:03Trevor Noah?

  But wait, let me explain.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:05Trevor Noah?

  You look for the part of the hair and the part of the head that has the hair, so your hair is not, is generally not the same everywhere on your head.

• 13:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:12Trevor Noah?

  Right? So my hair, for instance, the hair right here at the front and the hair on the sides, the hair at the back, the hair at the crown, all different hair.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:19Trevor Noah?

  All completely different hair, right? So I'm assuming.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  But it's not scratchy enough to be beard hair, beard hair is like very tough and scratchy.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  Probably lela, closer to the face could cover, I can't you know, as our evolution, this is the only part that cleared.

• 13:32Trevor Noah?

  Oh, really? Is that how it happened?

• 13:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, like.

• 13:36Speaker 01

  Mara.

• 13:36Trevor Noah?

  Wait, why did that, why did, wait, why did that happen?

• 13:39Speaker 01

  I don't know, it's out of my pay grade.

• 13:45Trevor Noah?

  Were you watching a documentary and then you just stopped?

• 13:47Speaker 01

  No, I just thought so.

• 13:49Trevor Noah?

  Oh.

• 13:49Speaker 02

  Okay, talk us through your, your, your process.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  Because remember.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  The ape said.

• 13:56Trevor Noah?

  So we had hair all over our faces.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  Yes, because I, I always think of, no, I'm buying it from that theory, I'm, I mean, I'm coming from that theory of utility zones of hair.

• 14:03Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, okay, cool.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  Which obviously lana, the hair, even, even when you're getting a lineup, lana, it looks like the hair can go. Do you know what I mean?

• 14:12Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, it looks like it wants to come down your face, yeah, okay, that makes sense, yeah.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Your hair gets gentler as it gets lower, that's what I'm thinking.

• 14:18Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  Because like Caesar was saying, ipata inwela is the coarse and tough and put it here, it will not match the whole setup.

• 14:25Trevor Noah?

  What, actually, I've never known this.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  Cause a beard is much more.

• 14:27Trevor Noah?

  What is your guys beard hair like versus your hair? You can't answer this question, answer there, you G. You are the one of the rare, you, you are gifted to have both, you, Caesar and I on each side of the conversation, you, my friend, are in the middle, tell us there.

• 14:40Speaker 01

  I think there's three zones of hair texture.

• 14:42Trevor Noah?

  Yeah?

• 14:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  Pubic hair?

• 14:44Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Softer.

• 14:46Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  And then lana, in between.

• 14:49Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  And then lana coarse.

• 14:51Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, okay.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  So that's why I'm thinking with my evolution is like.

• 14:53Trevor Noah?

  So you think front hair?

• 14:56Speaker 01

  Do you know what I mean?

• 14:57Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 14:57Speaker 01

  Because even, even like leg hair is not rough, like you never see people. Abana my dreads in your way.

• 15:04Trevor Noah?

  That's true, I don't think I've ever seen dreads on legs.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 15:07Speaker 02

  I'm trying to think if your characterization, characterization rather.

• 15:10Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 15:11Speaker 02

  Is accurate, because I feel like beard hair is coarser, right? But shorter than head hair.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  It does feel coarser to me.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  It's way coarser, bro.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  To me, it feels coarser.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  This feels like steel wool.

• 15:26Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  And then your hair though.

• 15:28Trevor Noah?

  Just in my opinion, mine is like.

• 15:35Trevor Noah?

  I don't have a beard to put anything on.

• 15:37Speaker 02

  Dude, dude.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  No, but even with you, look, look at your beard.

• 15:39Trevor Noah?

  Imagine if me.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  It looks coarser.

• 15:41Trevor Noah?

  Imagine me going to a store and buying beard things, you know when I'm buy, when I'm checking out, the person's looking at me like.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, but if you commit a crime.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  You know how I know, you know how I know this is G?

• 15:51Speaker 01

  Afro and the what?

• 15:52Trevor Noah?

  They wouldn't say beard.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  They'll say what?

• 15:54Trevor Noah?

  They wouldn't say beard.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  Caesar, if.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  Because you know what else?

• 15:56Trevor Noah?

  They wouldn't say beard. If I committed a crime, no one would say, and a beard. They would just say, he had an Afro.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  No, they wouldn't.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  If you put him next to my nigga over here, they'll be like.

• 16:05Trevor Noah?

  Nope, nope, they would say, they would say, maybe they'd say like light facial hair.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:09Trevor Noah?

  But they would never say beard.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  It's very sparse.

• 16:12Trevor Noah?

  They would ne, let me put it this way.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Moustache?

• 16:14Trevor Noah?

  If aliens were coming down to earth and they were like, yo, guys, there's too many of you, we need to have full lela here.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  And then they said the people that have with the beards are dying.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  Why are you English from Mamas Kral?

• 16:26Trevor Noah?

  No, why, why, why must they speak English? Aliens download all the languages, bro. Aliens are like, yo, we know where we're gonna invade, we're gonna download all the languages, so now they're not gonna come to South Africa and only speak, they want you to feel comfortable as well.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 16:37Trevor Noah?

  Cause they're advanced beings.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  That makes sense.

• 16:39Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, so when the aliens come here.

• 16:40Speaker 01

  They've been studying us.

• 16:41Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, they've been studying, so every country they'll go to, they'll speak, so in South Africa, they'll learn and they'll be like, yo, guys, there's too many of you on the planet, we need to have full lela here. So we've decided to make it fair amongst the guys, we're just gonna say beards one side, no beards one side, then me. They'll be like, what's happening, they're like, where are the beard guys, they are alive, the other guy is out, then I'll go this, they'll be like, hey, Baba, we think you got confused. One side.

• 17:08Speaker 01

  Which side is this, the beard side?

• 17:10Trevor Noah?

  Non beard, they, they, bro, I'm dead.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Okay, no, no, no, when it's marginal like that.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, when it's, yeah, we're again, samba now.

• 17:16Trevor Noah?

  I appreciate, I'm beard guys, I appreciate this.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Marginal like that.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  Me and Caesar will vouch for you, huh? We'll be there going, no, bro.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  But, no, hold on, listen, hold on. When it's marginal like that, you be with the beards. But when you get there, you're getting roasted for your beard though, we're like, ah, what is this?

• 17:31Trevor Noah?

  Let me tell you guys, let me tell you guys something now.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  Yeah?

• 17:35Trevor Noah?

  You are thinking too, you know if you want honesty, ask kids, no kid has ever told me I have a beard, you know what they've asked me? They've said, are you trying to grow a beard? That's what kids have told me.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  Did you kick them in the chest?

• 17:54Trevor Noah?

  That's what kids have told me.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  And ask them, are you trying to breathe?

• 17:56Trevor Noah?

  That's what kids, Uncle Trevor, are you trying to grow a beard?

• 17:59Speaker 02

  It sounds like a lucky.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  Man, I feel like.

• 18:03Trevor Noah?

  So, so what I'm saying is, so.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:05Trevor Noah?

  So I, I, I don't even have an issue with it, what I just feel like is I've lost options. That's what I feel like, I feel like I've taken away some of my options.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Oh, but why are you saying I should go to Turkey so quickly? No, because, I mean, I think if there's a solution for something, let's make it happen quick, ah, you taught me that shit.

• 18:22Trevor Noah?

  Actually, you're not wrong.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  If there's a solution for something, instead of now, we're here.

• 18:25Trevor Noah?

  You're not wrong. No, no, you're not wrong.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  And so on, but my worry is, I think whenever I see those people who've done those procedures, like in Kamby.

• 18:32Speaker 02

  You can always tell, right?

• 18:33Speaker 01

  No, I mean, I worry that the hair growth might be too aggressive.

• 18:39Speaker 02

  I've never seen that.

• 18:40Trevor Noah?

  What do you mean?

• 18:41Speaker 01

  So for example, if they.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  It's always weak, look at Lewis Hamilton.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  Damn, he he got that shit done?

• 18:46Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 18:47Trevor Noah?

  Oh, she's come on, what do you mean?

• 18:48Speaker 02

  What are you talking about?

• 18:49Speaker 01

  I didn't know.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  In his rookie year.

• 18:51Trevor Noah?

  Do you remember Lewis's hair?

• 18:51Speaker 02

  Lewis was bald, bald, bald.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  He had a hairline like his dad.

• 18:56Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, exact same hairline, exact same hairline, basically.

• 18:59Speaker 01

  I didn't know.

• 19:00Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, go back and look at Lewis Hamilton in two thousand and six, two thousand and seven. And then now look at him again in two thousand and nine, two thousand and ten.

• 19:06Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, now it's fresh, bro, fire.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:08Trevor Noah?

  Fire, fire, fire.

• 19:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I need to, essentially, I'm saying in the face, don't you think maybe if you wanna have the option of shaving off? Won't your hair be too?

• 19:16Trevor Noah?

  No, no, it works, it works really nicely.

• 19:17Speaker 02

  I've never seen it come back aggressively.

• 19:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  If anything, it comes back weak. If you look at LeBron, he must have, he's tried like ten times.

• 19:24Trevor Noah?

  No, but shame what he, I don't know the actual procedure, but like.

• 19:28Trevor Noah?

  That's the thing about technology that's tough as well, in medicine or in anything.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:32Trevor Noah?

  When to adopt is as important as adopting.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Don't go too early, nah?

• 19:35Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, so if you look at like, but you, it's always too early, you you just don't know when the next jump will be.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  Like L E B B L kinda thing, yeah.

• 19:41Trevor Noah?

  Think about that, think about, so with the, with the hair, the, that transplant was like they take a strip out of the back of your head.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Like a carpet.

• 19:49Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, they'd cut a strip out of your head and then they would like peel the hair out of, it was a completely different process, that it's almost considered barbaric now, when, when, um, when you look at the, uh, the procedures that are out now.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Cause they literally cultivate your head.

• 20:01Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, whereas now they, they take out the follicle itself, they pull those out, and then the one that was considered advanced, the incision one, is now semi-barbaric versus the, the precise, like pokey poke one. So I think.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  I think you want the pokey poke one?

• 20:16Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, we're in the, guys, we're in the golden age of, what is it called? Looks maxing.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  But also, we are shaya gone here or laucho takon?

• 20:24Speaker 02

  But that's another thing, right?

• 20:25Speaker 01

  Because, what?

• 20:25Speaker 02

  Because with beards, right? You need a lot of hair to make it look like it's together.

• 20:31Trevor Noah?

  Do you know how much, it's an eight hour procedure.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  That's long. And it's more than one person.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  But what are you harvesting? That's what I wanna know.

• 20:37Trevor Noah?

  Guys, are you not paying attention to the top of my head?

• 20:39Speaker 02

  No, I heard you, I heard you, but.

• 20:41Trevor Noah?

  This here can cover all of this, three times over.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  I've got hair in my hair, son.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  Ah, okay.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  Wait, so you're shaya, are you gonna go everywhere? Like even where you have a moustache and they're going to your shaya?

• 20:55Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, I would just like do it like.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  No, but you see, that's what my problem is.

• 20:58Trevor Noah?

  And then what?

• 20:59Speaker 01

  Then this hair might grow longer than this hair that exists already.

• 21:03Trevor Noah?

  That's fine.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  Because also, no, my man.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  He's right about that though, you know what I have, have you seen people with uneven beards?

• 21:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, boy.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  Like naturally, so guys have got like, it's growing heavier and then yeah, it's patchy. Have you seen those homes?

• 21:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  That look like a mad scientist. No, for real, cause they even comb it out here.

• 21:19Trevor Noah?

  No, you're not, no, you're not funny. Because, because you did it like this, I saw the person.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Like that, that, like that evil guy from Sonic.

• 21:28Trevor Noah?

  Okay, what's, what's the limit you would do for like changing your looks as a person?

• 21:33Trevor Noah?

  Would you do the, would you do the leg lengthening surgery?

• 21:36Speaker 02

  Never, I wouldn't do that.

• 21:37Trevor Noah?

  No, this is not about.

• 21:38Speaker 01

  No, never.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  Oh, I see.

• 21:40Trevor Noah?

  You're asking somebody who would like benefit from it.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  Never, never, never.

• 21:43Trevor Noah?

  Why?

• 21:44Speaker 01

  Because I think if you can't match it everywhere else, let's leave it.

• 21:48Trevor Noah?

  What do you mean?

• 21:49Speaker 01

  Because if my legs are longer, cause right now I feel like proportions.

• 21:52Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, your proportions work.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, what if my torso now starts looking off so and so and much?

• 21:56Trevor Noah?

  No, you just have a smaller torso, it always looks good to have a smaller torso. No, have you not seen, you know who you look at? Models. Models will have like super tiny torsos, long legs, it works.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  I've never heard that before.

• 22:08Trevor Noah?

  Basketball players, a lot of them will have super tiny torsos, long legs, it works. You actually want like a tiny torso and long legs, you can, you can pull off anything, your, your clothes will look great, your looks, you know what doesn't look great? Long torso, short legs, it's over for you in life.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  But we've never seen that one.

• 22:23Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but my point is it's over, we've seen some, I've seen people like that.

• 22:26Speaker 01

  With a longer torso and short legs?

• 22:28Trevor Noah?

  Some people have mega long torsos and short legs, and there it's rough, like mega long, mega, mega, mega long.

• 22:34Speaker 02

  I don't think the torso is a big deal, but your limbs are a big deal. So for example, you know the whole wingspan is like roughly your height?

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 22:42Speaker 02

  Because now you're not gonna extend your arms, so your arms will still be short, but now your legs are long.

• 22:47Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but guys, that has nothing, what do you, what do you care?

• 22:49Speaker 02

  Dude, now your arms are swinging at the top.

• 22:51Trevor Noah?

  You know, why are you walking like this now that you got the surgery?

• 22:53Speaker 02

  You're looking like Ma Uduana.

• 22:54Trevor Noah?

  Guys, what are you talking about?

• 22:55Speaker 01

  And first of all, Ma Uduana.

• 22:56Trevor Noah?

  What are you guys talking about?

• 22:58Speaker 02

  And also, you wouldn't be able to tie your laces, would you?

• 23:01Trevor Noah?

  You would.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  No, you would.

• 23:02Trevor Noah?

  What do you mean? Bend over?

• 23:06Speaker 02

  You wouldn't be able to bend over and touch your, touch your toes though.

• 23:08Trevor Noah?

  It depends on where your flexibility lies.

• 23:12Trevor Noah?

  But you also can't bend down and touch your toes now.

• 23:14Speaker 01

  I'm trying, I'm trying to think. The thing I'd cause is something that would reverse age me.

• 23:20Trevor Noah?

  What?

• 23:21Speaker 01

  Like anything, that would be like.

• 23:22Trevor Noah?

  Oh, that's what you do.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, that thing I would, I would pay, pay money, money for.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  Really?

• 23:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:28Trevor Noah?

  I mean, that's what billionaires are all paid for.

• 23:29Speaker 01

  Because remember, remember that there's an, there's an age where you like, you don't care about yourself.

• 23:33Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 23:34Speaker 01

  Then there's an age where you start caring about yourself, nah?

• 23:36Speaker 02

  I don't know about reverse age, I just care about health.

• 23:40Trevor Noah?

  That's what I think what he's saying.

• 23:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that's what I mean, but I need to remember that.

• 23:43Trevor Noah?

  Reverse the whole process.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  Your outside matches your inside. So.

• 23:47Speaker 02

  Well, not necessarily, so you can, you can, you can age and just remain healthy. Like, so certain features will change, you go gray, right? Maybe you get wrinkles, but you're still healthy. I'd take that. I don't wanna look like I'm twenty five.

• 24:00Trevor Noah?

  So you wanna, you wanna look like, you wanna look like those. Caesar wants to look like those videos where like, like athletes go undercover as an old man to a park. That's what Caesar wants.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:09Trevor Noah?

  Caesar wants to be showing people up in the old age home.

• 24:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't wanna look like I'm twenty five again.

• 24:13Trevor Noah?

  Let's, let's see who can jump the highs.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  I'm not interested in that.

• 24:15Speaker 01

  No, but that's what, that's what, that's where I was going, I was like, there's a, there's a age where you don't care what you look like, cause you're a kid. Your mom, dad dresses you.

• 24:22Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  You don't care, then you become a teenager, you're like, yeah. Then, but the physique of a teenager and the stamina and how your organs function.

• 24:30Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, not fine.

• 24:31Speaker 01

  You don't appreciate it when it's happening.

• 24:33Trevor Noah?

  No, you don't.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  Because you don't have the means to exploit it. Do you know what I mean? The only, the only.

• 24:38Speaker 02

  In theory, I think.

• 24:39Trevor Noah?

  Only athletes do.

• 24:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, the only way you can exploit the optimal level that your body's performing is by being sent by other people.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  Okay, she will land a, and can land a, they didn't lay a fast.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  Give her a lapo, everyone else sees the use.

• 24:53Trevor Noah?

  In a young body.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  Of the young body, and then you get old, then you're like, okay, my mental maturity is matching my physique, cause now I can defend myself. Cause remember.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:02Speaker 01

  At that young age, you're useful because you can't defend yourself.

• 25:06Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? You're at school, you're young, at your house, they can send you because you can't fight them, you can't provide for yourself.

• 25:12Trevor Noah?

  Right, right, right.

• 25:12Speaker 01

  So when you reach an age where you can provide for yourself, you can think for yourself, you can defend yourself, that's where you feel like you can freeze time. But there's also a mystery of what it would feel like if I got just a little bit older. Because I think there's all people that are older than you that are getting more things than you.

• 25:27Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Because they've had more time than you, and I feel like that age is like forty, forty-five. You've maxed out your talents, you've maxed out your abilities, and your organs are fine, you know when you go to the doctor, they're like, yeah, everything is fine. Blood pressure is fine, are you working out?

• 25:42Trevor Noah?

  Well, within the range.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  Yes, there, you want shit to stop there.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  I'd agree with that.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  Not at fifty-five, when like you look good for fifty-five.

• 25:50Trevor Noah?

  When, that, that reminds me, when was the last time you tried to jump over something?

• 25:54Speaker 02

  I jump over things all the time, but to his point, and maybe to your point as well. I haven't reached a point where I feel like my body's betraying me yet.

• 26:05Trevor Noah?

  Oh, not yet?

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Not yet.

• 26:06Trevor Noah?

  So when, when you jump over things, what are, what is the height, what are you jumping over?

• 26:11Speaker 02

  I don't know, like small fence or.

• 26:14Trevor Noah?

  How do you jump? Do you jump like two feet same time, or do you do like the eh eh one one?

• 26:20Speaker 02

  No, I can do like two feet same time.

• 26:21Trevor Noah?

  So you can just do like hurrah, hurrah?

• 26:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:23Trevor Noah?

  Do you do like a static wrap over it immediately, or do you do like a little run up and then jump?

• 26:27Speaker 02

  I can do both, depending on the height.

• 26:29Trevor Noah?

  Oh no, so you're still, the farm is probably keeping you younger.

• 26:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, so, so that's the thing, but also.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  For the forty day, that's the one.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, but also, I, I also feel like it depends on how you're treating your body.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 26:40Speaker 02

  So I don't like overexert my body. I've never been a guy who's like, you know, running twenty Ks a day or anything like that, I've never done that. So it's not like I need to, I'm not an endurance athlete.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:52Speaker 02

  You know? But if I was doing that, then I'm pretty sure like my body would be giving in right now, so okay, we can no longer do this. But it can definitely walk as often as I used to walk when I was younger.

• 27:01Speaker 01

  You know what you're explaining makes sense, cause I was watching this thing about people from Hawaii, like it was a documentary, but it was not about the people. Someone was just filming something and I was like, Polynesian people actually.

• 27:10Trevor Noah?

  I like that you put that, because before that point, it could just be anything. I was watching this thing about people from Hawaii. And it's like, what, what is it? So, uh, there's some CCTV footage, uh, that I somehow hacked into. I got a login, I thought it was my ring doorbell, but it turned out to be someone else's, and it's in Hawaii. So I watched this thing about these people in Hawaii, and yeah, it's quite interesting, actually.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  You're gonna get me arrested.

• 27:37Trevor Noah?

  Stephen, Stephen gets about three packages a week.

• 27:39Speaker 02

  It's funny you say that, cause I was thinking, you see, this is my dang a testimony again.

• 27:42Speaker 01

  This guy's gonna get me arrested, I'm like.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:45Speaker 01

  Let's listen to all of his friends' comments. So I'm like, Polynesian people, they are healthy.

• 27:51Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 27:52Speaker 01

  But they're not thin. You know what I mean?

• 27:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  So like they've got six packs and, but they're strong, they're.

• 27:58Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  They move around, the food that they eat, you know, they're stout.

• 28:02Trevor Noah?

  That's the same as like Samoan.

• 28:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, Polynesian people, yes.

• 28:04Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, okay, that, okay, that whole region.

• 28:06Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 28:06Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  So that's why I'm saying, Gucci, what you're saying, it makes sense, because their, their pace is, they swim, they dive, they walk.

• 28:14Trevor Noah?

  They climb.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  They climb, they farm, so they, their physique is much like yours. Do you know what I mean?

• 28:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  They're like, they don't overexert themselves, but they're maximum health, but they're not skinny thin. It's not their thing.

• 28:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, and some of that has like to do with genetics as well. I'm sure you feel, like there's some people when you feel them, they feel sturdy.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  Right? There are people who feel soft.

• 28:36Speaker 01

  Hey, how many men are you feeling, Gunthwin?

• 28:37Speaker 02

  No, it doesn't have to be a man, women as well.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 28:41Trevor Noah?

  When you said you had five guys at your farm, I was like.

• 28:44Speaker 02

  That is funny.

• 28:44Trevor Noah?

  Let them.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  No, dude, even even women.

• 28:47Trevor Noah?

  Outing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:49Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 28:49Speaker 02

  There's women like.

• 28:50Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  You don't even need to feel them. You can just look at the body like.

• 28:53Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's other ones here like, okay, seeming pudgy. Not like in a judgmental way. No, not in a judgmental way, but like even guys are like that also.

• 29:02Trevor Noah?

  Not in a judgmental way, just in a pudgy way. Okay, guys, guys, guys, guys, there is positive pudgy.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  You see, this is why I was.

• 29:11Trevor Noah?

  There is negative pudgy.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  Guys as an example, because they.

• 29:14Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no.

• 29:14Speaker 02

  It's less judging.

• 29:15Trevor Noah?

  By the way.

• 29:15Speaker 02

  Why did you move away from guys? I did that.

• 29:17Trevor Noah?

  Wait, wait, wait.

• 29:18Speaker 02

  I'm sorry.

• 29:18Trevor Noah?

  I'm the one. Wait, I'm I'm I'm not even against these were here.

• 29:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:22Trevor Noah?

  I actually like what you've just brought up. I think in society, we must acknowledge that sometimes the correct word is being used for something.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 29:30Trevor Noah?

  It it is not implying any judgment. So when Caesar's saying somebody is pudgy, the reason pudgy exists is because there was pudginess that had to be addressed.

• 29:39Speaker 02

  I'm describing the person.

• 29:40Trevor Noah?

  He's describing the pudginess.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  Judging them.

• 29:41Trevor Noah?

  At all.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  No, no, I feel you.

• 29:43Trevor Noah?

  You get what I'm saying? So Caesar's going.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  I judged him, but he said he feels men and I was like, then he came out, he was like, no, not just men. I was like, hey. I'm an open minded.

• 29:51Trevor Noah?

  That's why you have that walkie talkie in your room.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  I'm an open minded dude.

• 29:54Trevor Noah?

  About no fit thirty minutes. So guys, so guys, what are you guys thinking about right now?

• 30:02Trevor Noah?

  Eh, guys, guys.

• 30:05Trevor Noah?

  Do you ever lay awake and wonder? Just like, just like how the universe would be if like, you know, what if we're not alone, guys?

• 30:16Trevor Noah?

  What if, what if we?

• 30:18Trevor Noah?

  We've got more What Now after this. I mean, imagine the first Zulu guy who said he saw white people coming from the ocean. Guys must have been like, bruh.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:30Trevor Noah?

  Bruh, come on.

• 30:36Trevor Noah?

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• 31:21Trevor Noah?

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• 32:05Trevor Noah?

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• 32:49Trevor Noah?

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• 33:34Trevor Noah?

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• 34:19Trevor Noah?

  Get free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty five day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. Hello over there. Oh, and if Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was What Now with Trevor Noah. It's the best way to support the show.

• 34:45Trevor Noah?

  Yo, by the way, uh, what was I before ninety five percent? I think I'm ninety percent now on the aliens.

• 34:51Speaker 02

  You're getting there.

• 34:53Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, I think I'm five percent.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Wait, what happened?

• 34:55Trevor Noah?

  What do you mean? What do you mean what happened?

• 34:57Speaker 02

  Okay, maybe Phil Caesar in. Yeah, because I'm confused.

• 34:59Trevor Noah?

  Okay, so Eugene.

• 35:01Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 35:01Trevor Noah?

  Eugene told the story about how in New York, he was, uh, he went for a walk and then he saw an alien. Uh, that's the short version.

• 35:09Speaker 02

  By the way, remind me to come back to Eugene in New York, but carry on.

• 35:12Trevor Noah?

  So Eugene saw an alien. Then he wasn't sure, but he's like, I think that's an alien, followed the person, the alien. They went into a bodega. They were like leaking. They were super pale. They were translucent. They were struggling to breathe. It was like an apparatus thing. They were wearing like a hoodie. They were.

• 35:29Speaker 02

  When you say leaking, were they sweating?

• 35:31Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, man, but I'm just giving you, yeah, but I'm telling you the details.

• 35:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:34Trevor Noah?

  Then Eugene faked buying a bottle of water in the bodega so that he could like, you know, seem like he was doing something. After he paid, left the bodega right behind the alien, turned, alien was gone. Both sides of the block were empty. Alien was gone. So Eugene was like, okay, I I've encountered the alien. So I said to Eugene, and as my friend, I'm honest with him, I said, and you know this, so Eugene, I don't believe you saw an alien. Okay, that's what I, but I have to acknowledge the possibility that you saw an alien. Because I do believe that one day an alien may or may not appear on Earth.

• 36:09Speaker 02

  If they haven't already.

• 36:10Trevor Noah?

  If they haven't already, right? So I can't say to you that you didn't see an alien. I mean, imagine the first Zulu guy who said he saw white people coming from the ocean. Guys must have been like, bruh.

• 36:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:23Trevor Noah?

  Bruh, come on.

• 36:24Speaker 02

  That is funny.

• 36:25Trevor Noah?

  No, let's be honest. Imagine you were the first, the first Zulu guy standing at the beach. And a ship came, guys, I don't even, the Zulu nation didn't even have ships. They didn't need them. So from the ocean.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  And then, and then white people took time.

• 36:39Trevor Noah?

  Guys.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  To come to shore.

• 36:41Trevor Noah?

  A floating house.

• 36:41Speaker 02

  Imagine now how crazy you were for weeks.

• 36:43Trevor Noah?

  Then a smaller one comes out of it. So how are you even describing this to your friends?

• 36:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 36:48Trevor Noah?

  Nah, because it's a thing you've never seen.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 36:50Trevor Noah?

  That comes out of a thing you've never seen.

• 36:52Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 36:52Trevor Noah?

  And from it come creatures, like you've read the Zulu, you you know this, I mean, you're Zulu, but like when I'd read like the history books, Zulu people were like, yo, these people are sickly and not even human looking.

• 37:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:05Trevor Noah?

  Their skin color, they're like, yo, man, it's weird. Because remember, these people, there's no sunscreen.

• 37:09Speaker 02

  Well, they were sickly because they were malnourished.

• 37:11Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but that's what I mean. But they were malnourished, their skin was pale, it was burnt from the sun.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:16Trevor Noah?

  They had red hair, they had, so the people were like, the Zulu people were like, yo, man. Whatever those are, they're like human adjacent, but imagine being the first guy to bump into them.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 37:28Trevor Noah?

  And then now you run off to tell everybody what you've seen.

• 37:32Trevor Noah?

  I wouldn't be shocked if people were like, yo, bruh.

• 37:34Speaker 02

  No, I can believe it.

• 37:35Trevor Noah?

  You know what I mean?

• 37:35Speaker 02

  But now wait, so now to your, to your point.

• 37:38Trevor Noah?

  So what I was saying to Eugene.

• 37:39Speaker 02

  Are you saying that you feel like aliens would come in the future, just maybe not now?

• 37:44Trevor Noah?

  Uh, okay, mine is more complicated. So here's how I feel about the alien thing.

• 37:49Trevor Noah?

  I don't believe that we are alone in the universe forever.

• 37:54Speaker 02

  Neither do I.

• 37:54Trevor Noah?

  However, I do believe there's a possibility that we are in the universe alone for the time that humans have existed. Cause I think sometimes as humans, we make the mistake of thinking that the time we are in is always the most important time and the most significant time.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 38:06Trevor Noah?

  But the truth is all time is significant to anyone who is considering it for themselves.

• 38:10Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 38:11Trevor Noah?

  So, think of it like in the simplest way. You go to a person's house, you knock on the door. Nobody answers. For all intents and purposes, there's nobody there.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:22Trevor Noah?

  Right? You would walk away. Let's think of it before cell phones. You'd walk away. And then you'd meet the person two days later and be like, yo, I was at your house. Where were you? Then they're like, I was there. Then you're like, no. Then they're like, oh, I stepped out. I went to the shops. Ah, you were there just after I left and then I came back just after you left.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 38:40Trevor Noah?

  So.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  And you missed each other.

• 38:41Trevor Noah?

  In that time.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:43Trevor Noah?

  You, you both existed.

• 38:45Speaker 01

  Parallel timelines.

• 38:46Trevor Noah?

  Didn't exist, if that makes sense.

• 38:47Speaker 01

  Yes, parallel timelines.

• 38:48Trevor Noah?

  Right.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  I'm glad you bring that up because that leads me to my thoughts.

• 38:51Trevor Noah?

  So what I'm saying is, I believe there's a possibility that we think the aliens are in the same time as us.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 38:57Trevor Noah?

  But we are such a speck of time relative to time.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 39:01Trevor Noah?

  That I wouldn't be shocked if like the aliens, the aliens might get to earth and we're gone. The aliens might have come to earth and we're gone. And they're like, ah, bro, there's no one here. And then they're gone. Or they're gonna come and be like, there's no one here. And then they're gone. And we're like, ah, they're out there. Maybe they've already existed and gone as an, as an, as a civilization.

• 39:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, maybe they're us in the past.

• 39:20Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, like they might be gone already. They might be finished.

• 39:22Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 39:23Trevor Noah?

  Or they might be going to arrive and haven't, does this make sense?

• 39:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent.

• 39:27Trevor Noah?

  So that's how I feel about aliens.

• 39:28Speaker 02

  So I agree with you fully, but I then also feel like if the aliens do exist and they are more advanced. Then they've got the ability to, I guess, exist on two different time planes.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 39:44Speaker 02

  So if, for example, you're not on this particular time continuum.

• 39:48Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  But if you've got the ability to time travel, wouldn't you wanna come to this time?

• 39:54Trevor Noah?

  But time travel is impossible.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Well, you know, it's impossible now.

• 39:58Trevor Noah?

  I mean, yeah.

• 39:59Speaker 02

  You don't know if it's impossible in the future. You also don't even know if it's impossible in the past.

• 40:03Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, I mean, you're not wrong, but I, but it's just everyone's like, it's just, but I guess you're right. The way we understand science right now, it is impossible.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  And the way we've understood the concept of time traveling.

• 40:12Trevor Noah?

  You're not wrong.

• 40:13Speaker 01

  Cause I think we always think about it as the past or the future.

• 40:15Trevor Noah?

  Yes, you're not wrong. Yeah, you're not wrong.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  Since people introduced the theory of quantum leaping, they always go, people who think positively quantum leap easily. Because you could be in a situation right now and you're feeling horrible.

• 40:28Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 40:28Speaker 01

  Everything looks horrible.

• 40:29Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  But when you start thinking positively, everything looks great.

• 40:32Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  You've, you've quantum leapt. So if you saw me thirty minutes ago before I started thinking positively. You would come back with a notion that I am thinking negatively and I see everything clear.

• 40:42Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  And then I go, I read a book, I heard a thing, I had a phone call, I changed my mind, everything is great. I've quantum leapt. I've left you in that time zone. I've left you in a timeline where I believe the one thing so much.

• 40:54Trevor Noah?

  Yes, but that, that, I understand that and I understand it theoretically, but that to me is still like perspective. I'm talking about the physical shifting of matter. Moving backwards or forwards in a timeline. And, and again, like I say, you're not wrong. Guys, there were things that were beyond impossible.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  But again, you're only thinking about it with our limited understanding.

• 41:16Trevor Noah?

  That's what I'm, that's what I'm agreeing with.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  Whatever is not matter, whatever is just.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  Or backwards.

• 41:19Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, that's, that's, that's where I'm agreeing with you on all of it.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, because we also, even, even, even when we imagine aliens, we imagine that have a body.

• 41:26Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  Why would aliens have a body?

• 41:28Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 41:29Speaker 02

  What if aliens are the air that we breathe in right now?

• 41:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? So then.

• 41:37Trevor Noah?

  You think that's air you're breathing?

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. So then, so, so, so when I think of it like that, then I think if aliens do exist or did exist, then they are here now. Or they could be at any point.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  Because why wouldn't they wanna go back? Dude, going back into the past is like the easiest cheat code of anything.

• 41:56Trevor Noah?

  Why do we always assume that they'd be more advanced than us though?

• 41:59Speaker 02

  I don't know. It's just an assumption, I guess. Because we always assume that they'd come to us. Nobody ever goes, we are gonna go to aliens.

• 42:05Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, because we haven't even come close to like.

• 42:07Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 42:08Speaker 01

  But remember, we are.

• 42:09Trevor Noah?

  Remember, remember when Elon Musk said he's gonna go to Mars and then now he changed it. Then he's like, ah, guys, you see the moon? You see the moon, guys?

• 42:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:17Trevor Noah?

  If we can just, guys, there's no, in life.

• 42:21Speaker 02

  Because it would take something way greater.

• 42:22Trevor Noah?

  I pray that I can achieve fifty percent of the skill that Elon Musk possesses in bamboozling people. Cause here's the thing about Elon Musk. Elon Musk is equal parts talent.

• 42:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:33Trevor Noah?

  Vision and bamboozlement, which might be the perfect combination in life.

• 42:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:37Trevor Noah?

  Right?

• 42:38Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 42:38Trevor Noah?

  Cause I was thinking about this the other day. Uh, what was I, what was I thinking about? Oh, I was thinking about like, um, like electricity itself. And I was going, when you read the stories about like Nikola Tesla and all of those guys. Bro, for all intents and purposes, like a lot of them were dirtbags, you know what I mean? Or we would consider them dirtbags by today's standards.

• 42:55Speaker 01

  They were even considered then, even worse.

• 42:57Trevor Noah?

  When you look at, uh, who's the guy who was competing? Edison.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:00Trevor Noah?

  Competing, bro.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  But apparently he wasn't a nice guy as well.

• 43:03Trevor Noah?

  But that's my point. Tesla's electricity was doing great things. We've seen it, you know what I mean? What, how he saw electricity and how we should use it. Edison wasn't con, uh, wasn't confident that he can compete head to head. So then he went on a smear campaign.

• 43:17Speaker 01

  Shut him down.

• 43:18Trevor Noah?

  Shut him down, said, yo, that electricity is gonna kill you. In fact, showed, he convinced prisons to use, uh, A C, right?

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 43:29Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, alternating current.

• 43:30Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 43:30Trevor Noah?

  And he was like.

• 43:31Speaker 02

  To shock people to death.

• 43:31Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, to shock people to death.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  See?

• 43:33Trevor Noah?

  Then he's like, do you see what that guy's electricity does?

• 43:35Speaker 02

  And he's like, direct current is way safer.

• 43:37Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 43:37Speaker 01

  And then don't put your finger in the plug.

• 43:39Trevor Noah?

  And then I was going, if he had a social media account back then.

• 43:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:43Trevor Noah?

  We would probably think of him.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  He'd be the troll.

• 43:45Trevor Noah?

  He would be the Elon Musk of now in a way. And then I was like, oh.

• 43:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 43:49Trevor Noah?

  So then I, I went like, maybe people think, not, I want, I don't wanna say wrong about Elon Musk, but I go. He just is how he is.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 44:00Trevor Noah?

  And I go, the electric cars, the way he scales up a company, the way he thinks of building systems, brilliant. Don't take things away from him because you hate him in that way. Don't be like, he's, he's an idiot, he's this, he's this. But there's many other parts. Uh, social interactions, uh, general, you know, disposition.

• 44:18Speaker 01

  Fashion sense.

• 44:19Trevor Noah?

  Uh, I, sense is even a strong term to use.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  That is funny.

• 44:23Trevor Noah?

  Um, and then, and then his, he's like, his ability to bamboozle.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 44:28Trevor Noah?

  That's what I put in the other category.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  So he's a snake oil salesman.

• 44:32Trevor Noah?

  Yes, but, but the oil is also real.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, yeah.

• 44:36Trevor Noah?

  Does that make sense?

• 44:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:38Trevor Noah?

  So here's how I think about it. If a snake oil salesman is selling you an oil.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  He's a snake salesman.

• 44:44Trevor Noah?

  No, it is snake oil, but it's like, the oil does work for certain things and it will work in certain ways.

• 44:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's not an Alexa for everything.

• 44:51Trevor Noah?

  That's where, that's where the snake oil part comes. So Elon will come out and say, guys, I'm gonna make a car that drives itself and it'll do it by this year. And we're gonna make this happen where the advancements he's made, we can't scoff at. However, you shouldn't forget the fact that he bamboozled you about all the other shit. It still doesn't drive itself. It's not, people are like, no, have you seen self-drive? No, no, no, no, guys, guys, guys, we've, that's what I'm saying. This bucket, we've gotten very far, way further than most people would have.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  Got you.

• 45:17Trevor Noah?

  Anticipated. However, the thing he promised, you get what I'm saying?

• 45:21Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 45:21Trevor Noah?

  Same thing with Mars. He was like, guys, we're going to Mars. Uh, we're leaving at four P M. Everyone's like, oh, get ready for Mars. And then four P M came and then he was like, uh, you guys heard about the moon? Then you're like, what, what just happened here? What, what just happened here, Elon?

• 45:35Speaker 01

  What are Mars clothes, everything?

• 45:37Trevor Noah?

  Right? That's what I'm saying. He's bamboozled. He's brilliant with that. Brilliant, brilliant. Sells people, even SpaceX now, when they were, when they were listing like the, the I P O. If you read the prospectus, it's like to conquer the stars and the moon and to be an intergalactic species that explores the possibilities. Bamboozlement.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:55Trevor Noah?

  But you cannot deny SpaceX's fire. Like the actual product that you use. That thing is, uh, what's it, uh, what's it called?

• 46:03Speaker 01

  Starlink.

• 46:04Trevor Noah?

  Fire. Starlink is fire. And the rockets, fire as well. Amazing. All of these things are great. But that bamboozlement level, I'm like, ah, man.

• 46:12Speaker 02

  But, so here's the thing, right?

• 46:13Trevor Noah?

  But maybe you need the bamboozlement.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 46:15Trevor Noah?

  To make the thing happen.

• 46:15Speaker 02

  Hmm. So the people that work in the tech space understand that you can only get any kind of advancement if you have a lofty goal.

• 46:25Speaker 01

  Ah, so even if it gets shut down.

• 46:27Speaker 02

  So you reach for the stars and then maybe you fall short, right? And land on the moon.

• 46:32Trevor Noah?

  Right.

• 46:33Speaker 02

  But that's what it takes. You almost have to be crazy first to go, I wanna do this.

• 46:39Trevor Noah?

  Right.

• 46:39Speaker 02

  There you go. That's not possible. Then I'll go, okay, but now let's sit down and think about if it was possible, how would we be able to do it? A lot of the things when they start out, it's like, dude, this thing is not gonna work. They need crazy enough people that are going like, yes, but if it was gonna work, how would it work? And then you start there and then you build. Because there's a lot of things that you wouldn't even attempt if you just looked at the end goal and said nah.

• 47:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:03Speaker 02

  Never gonna work, we done go.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  You see, what you're explaining explains exactly how people are starting to accept that aliens might be real. And now with the recent disclosures, it's not even about the flying craft anymore. It's about who's in the flying craft.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:17Speaker 01

  Cause remember before, it used to be a thing, when jet propulsion got better and technology got better and communication got better. Then we started applying our minds to thinking that this thing could exist.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  But if you go a hundred years back, you'd find it very hard to convince someone that there's things flying above them.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  So you've lost there.

• 47:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:35Speaker 01

  Now we go, things do fly at supersonic speed and you can communicate with someone while going at supersonic speed.

• 47:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 47:41Speaker 01

  So we go, okay, what are these type of crafts? Then we go, okay, there's things that fly like this, there are things that fly like, so now we've, we know there's a tic tac shape, we know there's a disc shape, we know there's a, you know.

• 47:51Speaker 02

  Mm hmm, mm hmm.

• 47:52Speaker 01

  I mean, I mean, when you see how, what was that, um, British Airways and Air France had it? Concorde.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  Concorde, yeah.

• 47:59Speaker 01

  Was way ahead of its time.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  It was. Hundred percent.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  Way ahead of its time. So now if you, if you go fast forward to now, what we know about intercontinental ballistic missiles and um, Starlink and how people can easily communicate. I always say to people, if you wanna see how far technology has moved, for five rand, you can talk to someone in another continent in real time.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:17Speaker 01

  And hear the sound of their voice.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  Cause there's kids who don't know what a telephone line sounds like.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  So I'm saying, now that we know that all of these things technologically have advanced to that level, now we go, can you please see what this whole thing is made of? So it's not that we think they're more advanced than us, we go, they might know something that we don't know.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, that makes sense.

• 48:37Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? They're not gonna come in abductors and take us to the sky, cause the sky is no longer our goal now. Or other planets are no longer our goal, because now we understand we're in a solar system. And if you think about how small we are in the solar system and how small our solar system is, we're like, we don't wanna go to the dark. We don't wanna go there, we're going, show us what you look like. We've grown to love Earth so much because we have so much. Like Earth sometimes feels like now, to someone who's lived a hundred years ago, would feel like a house with aircon and a fridge that has endless food. There's no reason to leave it.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Right.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  So now we're going, we don't wanna be abducted, cause we know there's nothing there.

• 49:13Speaker 02

  You don't know that.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  No, no, I'm saying, if you look at Earth.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:16Speaker 01

  And you look at our solar system.

• 49:18Speaker 02

  We know.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  And you look at our Milky Way.

• 49:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:20Speaker 01

  You're like, no, I don't wanna go to the dark. When Elon Musk goes, we've landed in Mars and we've seen things crashing in the moon, we're like, no, even there, I don't wanna go. Do you know what I mean? We know that other planet, what other planets in our solar system look like. And we don't wanna go there. So when you go, my neighbor's already struggling. Why would I wanna go to another country to live there? Does it make sense? We don't wanna go to Mars, we don't wanna go to Pluto, we don't wanna go there. And it's the closest in our solar system.

• 49:44Speaker 02

  Then, it's only because of your limited thinking. And I don't mean limited in a negative way or disrespectful way.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  It's just where we are. Only envision life the way you've always known it, right?

• 49:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:56Speaker 02

  But if there's another type of life, that perhaps is more conducive to the environment.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  Here's, here's a good, no, but here's a, no, and I think you're saying the same thing, and to put it this way.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  Correct.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  Who would have thought that they would ever go live in Dubai?

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're right. Think of that on a low level, right?

• 50:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  Yes. This place was literally nothing. It was sand.

• 50:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 50:17Speaker 01

  Sand, and in our, in like our general lifetimes we're talking about, we're not even talking about hundreds of years. It was sand. People discover oil, some parts they discover gas. The next thing you know, they embark on the most impressive building campaign. We've probably never seen anything like that in the modern era.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  Never, yeah. Well, you will now.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  Roads, highways, water systems, skyscrapers, living, manmade islands, you, they just go. If you told somebody, to your point, back then, hey, we're gonna make, we're gonna make land come out of the ocean, and then we're gonna put houses on it, and you'd be like, yo, that's alien technology. You can't, you can't, you can't do that. You can't, you can't live in the Middle East. And then we're gonna have trains that like fly above the ground.

• 51:07Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  On a, you, you, you get what I'm saying? So I'm agreeing with you in that like, we wouldn't want to go live in Dubai, because that's what Caesar's saying is like.

• 51:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:15Speaker 01

  What we've seen, we go like, you can't live on Pluto. Then they're like, why not? Then you're like, because Pluto doesn't have uh, the atmosphere. Then they're like, why, why don't you just make the atmosphere? Then we're like, ah, we didn't know you can make atmosphere.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  And even that is still limited thinking.

• 51:28Speaker 01

  No, but I'm saying, we didn't, you know what I'm saying, we didn't even know, they, they might be like, yo dude.

• 51:32Speaker 02

  But aliens are like, guys, you guys are living on the earth?

• 51:34Speaker 01

  But remember that.

• 51:35Speaker 02

  We live in the planet.

• 51:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, you see now. We, we take for granted how,

• 51:41Speaker 01

  you know, the word physical limitation is used loosely, but if you think about in a broader spectrum, we want to take our bodies everywhere. So the only reason why we won't survive elsewhere is because this thing won't take us there. You know what I mean? Won't see it with our own eyes. So if you think about.

• 51:55Speaker 02

  Rick, when I say to you, do you wanna use my VR, you say no.

• 51:59Speaker 02

  See, I like how you understands these concepts when you're doing it now.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:02Speaker 02

  But when I say Eugene, when I'm like Eugene, do you want, then Eugene is like, what am I doing with this? But wait, why, why, why don't you wanna use VR?

• 52:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, why? This guy, just like Eugene, will just be like, ah, yeah, some things he's just like, you know, I wanna feel it, I wanna. So that's why I'm saying, we think, Asimov was one of those writers, right, who wrote about um, the future in technology and robots way backward.

• 52:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  In fiction sense, but there's one thing that he said, he said, we must just be careful that our human body limitation makes us, makes us want everything to look like a human.

• 52:32Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  So one thinks to have limbs.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:33Speaker 01

  And so even when we're writing aliens and fiction, we want them to have. But he says the perfect, the perfect robot or alien will not have a human torso shape, because that's already limiting.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 52:43Speaker 01

  So you take um, so someone who did that well and used it, but without telling us that he's using it, there's um, George Lucas when they were doing Star Wars.

• 52:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:50Speaker 01

  So if you think of C three P O versus R two D two.

• 52:53Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 52:53Speaker 01

  Hmm. C three P O is, R two D two is the perfect robot, one who looks like a vacuum cleaner.

• 52:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:59Speaker 01

  He doesn't have legs, he's round and he can scan and look everywhere, but you see how clumsy. Uh, uh.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  Even Interstellar with like, with Taz, right?

• 53:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause like this body.

• 53:07Speaker 02

  Taz was actually a great one.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:09Speaker 02

  That, cause it's just three blocks that just. Like modular.

• 53:13Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  But.

• 53:14Speaker 01

  Cause all, all you really, yes, all, if we're honest, all you really need is to be able to like move.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:20Speaker 02

  And then you must be witty.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  Now, witty-ness, that's necessary though. Let's be honest, all of them, C three P O witty, witty, uh, R two D two, R two D two will roast you with those sounds, bro. Doesn't even talk.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  Then you're like, ah, how can you say that about my mom, R two D two? Bro, R two D two will roast people in Star Wars with beeping sound. Do you know how witty you have to be?

• 53:49Speaker 02

  Yo, R two D two could cock block you on a date, son. You'd be there, rolling with R two D two. Someone would be like, oh, so what do you do for a living? Then it'd be like.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  And she's like, uh, actually, I don't think I wanna talk to you.

• 54:03Speaker 02

  Yo, that's wit. Do you know what levels of Taz is the same thing? Taz is three blocks. But I'm telling you now, after like an hour of hanging out with Taz, you're like, no, Taz, actually, I wanna introduce you to my human friend. Run, swim.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 54:16Speaker 02

  Everything.

• 54:17Speaker 01

  But wait, who's Taz? Do you remember Interstellar? Remember Interstellar?

• 54:21Speaker 02

  No, I haven't watched it.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  You've never watched Interstellar?

• 54:23Speaker 02

  No.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Um, Fana, you know what I love about you? You give me the opportunity to watch my favorite movies again.

• 54:27Speaker 02

  I was thinking about this, here's the paradox about Eugene, right? Eugene is inquisitive enough to make himself interesting, but also, no, I'm serious. But also hood enough to be ignorant.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  For real, bro. Cause this guy will tell you, why don't you like VR? Just.

• 54:51Speaker 02

  Nigga, what?

• 54:55Speaker 02

  What is this?

• 54:58Speaker 01

  But then he'll tell you about the Polynesian people.

• 54:59Speaker 02

  Bruh.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. Eugene, that's so funny, bro.

• 55:03Speaker 02

  No.

• 55:04Speaker 01

  Okay, tell me about Interstellar.

• 55:06Speaker 02

  No, I'm, we're gonna watch it.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  Uh, you're saving it?

• 55:08Speaker 02

  We're just gonna watch it, we'll watch it. It's, it's one of. Let's watch it today. It's one of the best movies. We're not leaving here until, well, we're leaving here, but we're not leaving.

• 55:16Speaker 01

  Okay, we're watching it. Yeah, Hail Mary was fire as well. Hail Mary? You haven't seen it? But it just came out, but it just came out.

• 55:23Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  And I don't think it's on the scale of Interstellar. I don't think, like, let me put it this way, I don't think Hail Mary will change your life. I think Interstellar can change your life.

• 55:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:31Speaker 01

  Or your perspective on life, or the way you see things, et cetera. Hail Mary is a fantastic movie. But I don't think it's a, you know, there's movies that.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  Now I've got a question.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  There's, there's movies that like shift your, your perspective, they shift the way you see the world, they even, they can shift the lexicon, they can shift the, the Overton window, they, like, I argue The Matrix did that.

• 55:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:51Speaker 01

  The fact that people.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  You turned me back onto that thing and I was like, Jesus, I watched it.

• 55:55Speaker 01

  People still talk about red pill, blue pill, and they don't even know what The Matrix is. You've been red pilled, you've been blue pilled. It's like, have you watched The Matrix? No, what, what's that? You're like, that's what you're, literally what you're talking about.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  So The Matrix did that, um, I would argue Interstellar did that.

• 56:12Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  I actually think uh, uh, Batman, Dark Knight Rises did that.

• 56:16Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 56:17Speaker 01

  Do you know what I mean?

• 56:17Speaker 02

  And then it's obviously like. That reintroduced like superhero movies.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  But there's also like old movies, obviously, I'm, you know, now it's recency bias, cause I've been rewatching these. Which, by the way, actually, that's something I wanna talk to you guys about, yo, but.

• 56:30Trevor Noah?

  When you you you look at these movies, Interstellar is one of those where once you've watched it, it'll occupy some part of your brain forever. And something will always trigger that memory or that thought. You'll be like, ah, this this reminds me of Interstellar. Like, it'll it'll always do that. Always, always, always.

• 56:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, can't wait.

• 56:47Trevor Noah?

  Always, always, always.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  Do you ever wonder where this guy gets time to watch this much TV and movies?

• 56:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. He wakes up at twelve, so in between, this was cut less.

• 56:56Speaker 02

  Because I'm I'm really, bro, like him and Anneli, these guys know every character in every show. They've seen every movie. I'm like, where do you get the time for this?

• 57:07Trevor Noah?

  No, but on a plane, I'm a beast, bro. You can't beat me on an airplane.

• 57:11Speaker 01

  I don't watch on a plane, yeah.

• 57:12Trevor Noah?

  Every you watch. Yeah, you see, you sleep on a plane. Ha, bro. While you sleep, we grind.

• 57:16Speaker 02

  That is funny.

• 57:18Trevor Noah?

  Guys, let me tell you my system. When I get on a plane, the first thing I do, obviously, I go to movies, new releases. Then, the new planes now, most of them, they let you choose your favorites.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:28Trevor Noah?

  So I go and I put bookmarks on all of them. I go bookmark, bookmark, bookmark. I plan it out.

• 57:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 57:33Trevor Noah?

  And then I'll even go, okay, you can always start with this kind of movie. Because you know, like, you must remember, you got you you're gonna be you're gonna be experiencing less oxygen on the flight. So you don't want to concentrate later on. That's when you're gonna struggle.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  Sequencing, sequencing is important.

• 57:45Trevor Noah?

  Sequencing is very important in your movies on a plane. Ah, really important.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 57:49Trevor Noah?

  I see people fall asleep all the time, watching like a movie.

• 57:52Speaker 01

  That's me.

• 57:53Trevor Noah?

  Like, five hours in, they put in a complicated movie. Then I'm like, haha, amateur, amateur. Emmet, there you are sleeping now, the plot's moving. Then you wake up with the spoiler. Oh, it was his father.

• 58:06Trevor Noah?

  Bro, you're an amateur, bro. You're an amateur. So what you do is?

• 58:09Speaker 01

  You don't start with high concentration at the beginning.

• 58:11Trevor Noah?

  What you do is you start with the most complicated, difficult movie, the drama, the sci-fi, whatever that movie is that's gonna require your your capacity. You start with that movie.

• 58:19Speaker 01

  Because you're still fresh.

• 58:20Trevor Noah?

  Right. Then the food is gonna come while that movie is on. So the food is also gonna, you remember, get your system going. Your body doesn't want to sleep just like while you're eating.

• 58:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:28Trevor Noah?

  So your furnace goes, your brain's also like, I'm getting fuel. Concentrate, concentrate, concentrate. Movie's gonna end generally around after the meal.

• 58:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 58:36Trevor Noah?

  Then, your sugar's gonna start crashing now.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  Right.

• 58:39Trevor Noah?

  Now, dif- difficult time to start another movie. Now people get confident. They go, I just watched this movie. Let me jump to another complicated one. Big mistake. Blood sugar's crashing, buddy. What you do now is, you put on a simple, light comedy, something that doesn't require your brain.

• 58:53Speaker 01

  Gee, light work.

• 58:54Trevor Noah?

  Light comedy, good times, enjoy it, have a good time, superhero film, crash, boom, bang. Your brain is not concentrating too hard. You're gonna enjoy yourself. If you are able to stay up past that movie, then you can start getting into like indies. You start getting into a film that like is is got like a different pace, got a different vibe.

• 59:13Speaker 01

  What do you put documentaries in all of this? Because before we get to the end.

• 59:15Trevor Noah?

  Ah, my man, I can't watch documentaries on a flight. Oh, I love them. I can't leave the earth to go back to it. Come on, brother. Come on, bro. I'm free. Now you want me to know what?

• 59:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, but now, why would you want to watch a documentary now?

• 59:28Trevor Noah?

  Now, I'm here learning about the gangs of of Brazil.

• 59:30Speaker 01

  Because I need to, in the sky. I'm in the sky, bro. The problems are on the ground, bro. When I get back to the ground, that's when I watch documentaries. I like to watch documentaries because I'm like, yo, this shit is happening outside. When I'm in the sky, in the clouds. Gula ma kati goringa, na, pito, like, where would I, let's say, because I need you guys.

• 59:46Trevor Noah?

  At home, nigga, that's where. Don't watch documentaries on a plane. Don't be that guy. Don't be that guy.

• 59:50Speaker 01

  You don't watch documentaries?

• 59:51Trevor Noah?

  Why would you do that?

• 59:52Speaker 02

  Well, I don't watch anything.

• 59:53Trevor Noah?

  You're spoiling the plane vibes.

• 59:54Speaker 02

  But like, Doc's definitely not.

• 59:56Trevor Noah?

  Not not on a plane, bro. Don't watch documentaries on a plane. There's a reason they're even like in a weird category. You have to scroll multiple pages. Don't do that. Watch documentaries at home.

• 1:00:06Speaker 02

  Because also with Docies, you may want to research certain things.

• 1:00:09Trevor Noah?

  There you go.

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  How you research, you wanna pay?

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  I believe the director.

• 1:00:15Trevor Noah?

  Nah, bro, don't don't watch, don't watch a documentary. Don't watch.

• 1:00:17Speaker 01

  Because I mustn't, I mustn't even get.

• 1:00:19Trevor Noah?

  No. Don't press anything. We've got more. What now? After this? But the thing I go to is I'm like, you're going to run around beating foreigners for being in South Africa. People who are undocumented, let's say, illegal, whatever you want to say, okay? And legal, but let's let's focus on the illegal part of it. But then you're not beating the people who are letting people come into the border with fake papers or not even, you you get what I'm saying?

• 1:00:48Trevor Noah?

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• 1:01:33Trevor Noah?

  But Rula is one way to make that first step feel a lot more doable. Offering accessible, affordable therapy that fits your needs. Sign up in just a few minutes and get matched with a therapist who fits what you're looking for. Need to talk to someone quickly? Appointments are often available as soon as the next day. And with insurance, sessions average around a fifteen dollar copay. You can also see estimated costs upfront, so there's a lot more clarity going in. And in terms of outcomes, ninety-three percent of Rula patients report symptom improvement. If therapy's been sitting in the back of your mind, Rula is a pretty simple way to take that first step. So, turn off the talk track that's keeping you from progress and head to rula.com.

• 1:02:18Trevor Noah?

  That's R U L A dot com to find a therapist the easy way.

• 1:02:23Speaker 03

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• 1:03:01Speaker 01

  Yo, what's your question about Eugene with New York?

• 1:03:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I actually wanted to find out, how much do you enjoy it? Because your vibe is, I guess it's kind of New York vibe, right?

• 1:03:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:03:12Speaker 02

  So how do you feel in the city?

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  You know what I've realized about that place is

• 1:03:19Speaker 01

  it becomes everything, anything that you want it to become.

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:03:22Speaker 01

  Bap, bap, ba-da-bap. Sorry, sorry. Carry on, Eugene. Sorry.

• 1:03:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  I don't need you as my friend anymore. I need you as a business partner.

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  So it feels like, um, anything that you want it to be can be. If you want to work, you can work. If you want to hang out, you can hang out. If you want to do nothing, you can do nothing. You know what I mean? There's few places that, unless you live in an estate and you're well off, that you can have that type of freedom.

• 1:03:59Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  Not even, but I hear you.

• 1:04:00Trevor Noah?

  Does that make sense?

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think you can't even, but carry on. Yes, but there, it almost feels like everything is happening now. So if you, there's things that I I stop myself from doing because I'm like, no, I've done too much now.

• 1:04:11Speaker 02

  But you hate concrete jungle vibes. You love like endless drives. You like riding your bike and seeing nature and outdoors and all those things.

• 1:04:20Trevor Noah?

  Central Park, this guy's always there.

• 1:04:22Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, actually.

• 1:04:23Trevor Noah?

  When you're inside Central Park, you don't even know a city exists.

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:28Trevor Noah?

  There's there's literally parts in New York where you you forget. And not because you you're faking it. You cannot see a a building. You cannot see like the trees completely engulf you. It's, yeah, no, what you said is, I think, the most accurate way to describe it.

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  And you see, for people like you and I, we love the outdoors. But then the reverse happens with people like us. We love the outdoors, but we also prefer the comfort of being inside. That place forces you not to prefer the comfort of inside. Do you know, do you know what I mean? Like, I never thought it would make sense for people to live in a in a one-bedroom apartment in New York.

• 1:05:02Trevor Noah?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. People are always confused about that.

• 1:05:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, we you and I would die in a one-bedroom apartment.

• 1:05:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:07Speaker 01

  But there you're like, no, there's so much, the the outside is bigger and I love it. And the inside can be small because I'm not gonna be here for long. Do you do you know what I mean?

• 1:05:16Trevor Noah?

  No, I hear what you're saying.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, for us here, the comfort is inside.

• 1:05:18Trevor Noah?

  Your abode is very different.

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  Very, very different. So I think once, once I accepted that into my head, I was like, ah, okay, I see now.

• 1:05:25Speaker 02

  I'm gonna be out in the streets.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, if I want to experience this, it's out there. So here, I I had learned over the years to create everything inside. Do you know what I mean? But there, it's like, ah, man.

• 1:05:35Trevor Noah?

  Plus, when he saw an alien, he was like, ah, this is my place now.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  I knew.

• 1:05:39Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, because Eugene was like, I'm not gonna see an alien in South Africa because an alien knows it wouldn't come here because it doesn't trust our xenophobia.

• 1:05:46Speaker 02

  That is funny. That is funny, man. Ha, ha, b.

• 1:05:52Trevor Noah?

  Would you come here if you're an alien? Ah guys, I've never been more disappointed, guys. Can I, can I tell you what disappointed me? Ooh, can I tell you what disappointed me? In both ways, nah? In both ways, what is this? This is, this is the thing, and I mean this honestly. One.

• 1:06:05Speaker 01

  Alien.

• 1:06:05Trevor Noah?

  No.

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry.

• 1:06:07Trevor Noah?

  I'm always surprised when I see like anti xenophobia campaigns, but like anyway.

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  No, xenophobic campaigns or anti xenophobic campaigns?

• 1:06:16Trevor Noah?

  Oh, no, no, like, so let's go xenophobic. Yeah, you're right, you're right. When I see like campaigns where people are just like beating up foreigners and stuff like that.

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:06:23Trevor Noah?

  Especially when the reasons people are giving, there's like the small version and the big version of the thing. So, so what I mean by it is like, I would love it if those same mobs were also at parliament beating people who steal money from the government.

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:06:37Trevor Noah?

  Does that make sense?

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:39Speaker 02

  Carry on.

• 1:06:39Speaker 01

  You want the same energy.

• 1:06:40Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, like, so, so this is what bothers me sometimes is like, I feel like, and we do this in society, is like, we will,

• 1:06:48Trevor Noah?

  we'll lash out at the people who are closest to us and the people who we feel like we can lash out the most at.

• 1:06:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  Soft targets.

• 1:06:56Trevor Noah?

  The soft targets, but we won't lash out at the people who are more responsible for the thing that is happening to us. You, you, you said this, you, you, you used, you, you, it was a beautiful saying that you said once about a black woman, for instance. You said, um, when a black man and a black woman, can you, do you remember it? How do you say it? It's like, when a black man and a black woman are in the street, stones are being.

• 1:07:16Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah, yeah, so essentially like, um, the analogy is, so you got a black woman and a black man. They're in a very safe environment, everything is cool. Then, when they walk out into the streets, they feel like they're getting pelted.

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  Right? And they're getting pelted, both of them are getting pelted. And they're rushing to get back home.

• 1:07:36Speaker 01

  Refuge.

• 1:07:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. And, and they rush, and they rush, obviously they're bleeding, and as soon as they get back into the house, the man breathes a sigh of relief. Right? But the woman continues being pelted.

• 1:07:49Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:07:50Speaker 02

  Because now, not only was she dealing with racism outside, she's now dealing with patriarchy inside the house. So she's still not safe.

• 1:07:58Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, so what I was.

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  That's deep, man.

• 1:08:00Trevor Noah?

  Yeah. And that, when he said that, that stuck with me forever.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  Makes so much sense, you're right.

• 1:08:04Trevor Noah?

  Because it's like, not as a, not as an excuse, but a lot of the time, men who are dealing with a world that they can't control.

• 1:08:12Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:08:13Trevor Noah?

  Will then lash out on the people they can control inside their house. So they'll beat their wives, they'll beat their women, they'll beat their kids, they'll beat, you get what I'm saying?

• 1:08:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:21Trevor Noah?

  But it's because, not because, I'm not, that's why I'm saying, I'm not like blaming it, I'm not trying to pathologize it. But I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that they have so little control in the world, that this is the one place where they can be like, I am the boss and I, I'll show you, and it's like, yeah, but why don't you show there? Why don't you show your boss? Why don't you show the authorities? Why don't you show the, the, the system that's oppressing you in that way? You know, you can't mess around, yeah, so what you're doing is you're lashing out on the soft targets. So, I'm saying, the thing that bothered me was just this, is like, I always find it interesting that there's all these massive campaigns. And again, I understand the nuance of it.

• 1:08:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:08:58Trevor Noah?

  Understand the nuance of it.

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  People's frustration.

• 1:09:00Trevor Noah?

  Frustration.

• 1:09:01Speaker 01

  Inequality. Crime.

• 1:09:03Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, crime, uh, abusing of a system, for instance.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:07Trevor Noah?

  Seeing systems that are already strained, uh, crap, crippling, because you see people abusing it. I get, I understand all of that. But the thing I go to is I'm like, you're going to run around beating foreigners for being in South Africa? People who are undocumented, let's say, illegal, whatever you wanna say, okay? And legal, but let's, let's focus on the illegal part of it. But then you're not beating the people who are letting people come into the border with fake papers or not even, you, you get what I'm saying?

• 1:09:34Speaker 02

  So, in theory though.

• 1:09:36Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:36Speaker 02

  Here's the thing, this is where the difference is, in theory, what you're saying makes sense. In reality, the world doesn't work like that.

• 1:09:43Trevor Noah?

  But that's why, and I agree with you, that's why I'm saying I get frustrated by it. Right, so my frustration does not negate the realities. My frustration is only an expression of how I feel when I see the thing.

• 1:09:55Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:09:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:56Trevor Noah?

  Cause I go, guys, no matter where you, and, and you know, I will say, I think I would have thought of this very differently, had I not lived in America for almost like, whatever, fifteen years, somewhere there.

• 1:10:08Trevor Noah?

  Seeing how people's views on immigration so easily sway and swing, just depending on their life situation.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:10:18Trevor Noah?

  It's pretty amazing. When America's doing well, when border towns are doing well, when employment is good, when inflation isn't high, when things are, yo, bro, immigration is like not even a concern in, in people's.

• 1:10:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was thinking about it.

• 1:10:33Trevor Noah?

  Guys in the zeitgeist, it's not a thing, it's not a thing. Then people start thinking about like ephemeral ideas, yeah, our, our security in the world, the way we, you know, our military's growth and strength. No, watch what happens when inflation goes up, when people stop caring about military and outside, they're like, yo, forget that. Uh, uh, we gotta get rid of immigrants here and where, where, where, there's too many of them, then you're like, okay, well, how are there too many now? What happened from before? And I'm arguing that they noticed something, or something becomes less easy to ignore or, or, or, or harder to accept as part of your world, because now you feel like it is the reason, the reason. It might be a contributing factor, but it's not the reason. And so that's why I'm just saying my frustration would be, seeing that.

• 1:11:18Trevor Noah?

  Now, the reason I agree with you on the reality is this, this is now the, the part of my brain, I guess that makes me a comedian, is I also see, I love nothing more than incongruencies, you know this.

• 1:11:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:27Trevor Noah?

  So I found it funny that, not what was happening, but I found it funny that while these things were happening in South Africa, Africans, Ghana, Nigeria, wherever, they were like, screw you, South Africans, you guys must leave our countries, you guys are trash, we're not gonna support your artists, you mustn't come here, you mustn't, then I was like, wait, wait, wait, my brother, are you not doing the exact same thing? That you are now, that you are complaining about? Cause you have said, why are you ostracizing and victimizing every Nigerian and every Ghanaian and every African there? We know that some Nigerians are involved in crime, we know that some of our brethren from Zimbabwe slash whatever are involved in illicit activities.

• 1:12:10Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:12:11Trevor Noah?

  But it's not all of them, so how are you going around indiscriminately beating everybody and sending them all home? Then I was like, yes, but how ironic is it that you have now turned and done the exact same thing to South Africans?

• 1:12:23Speaker 01

  That are in your country.

• 1:12:23Trevor Noah?

  But I understand the real.

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  Reasons are different.

• 1:12:26Trevor Noah?

  I understand.

• 1:12:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:28Trevor Noah?

  And you know, you and I always have this discussion about morals, is I go, if you believe in the thing, if you say you should not scapegoat an entire group of people.

• 1:12:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:12:39Trevor Noah?

  Because you are unable to, it's like burning down your entire garden because you're angry at some of the weeds.

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:46Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, they're weeds, but if you've worked in a garden, I remember when I did it with my mom, she'd be like, we have to go and find the weeds. And I was like, this is tedious, bro.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's just destroy this whole thing and start over.

• 1:12:54Trevor Noah?

  Then my mom's like, okay, so what, we're just gonna have no garden then? Having a garden comes with weeds. You can have no garden, then there's no weeds, but there's also no flowers, there's also no grass, there's also no trees, there's also nothing else. So the two go hand in hand with each other, right? So what I'm saying is, it was interesting to me that in like a, not even in a long period of time, you just had literally Nigerians being like, oh, South Africa, you can't go, you can't, I don't want to, yeah, we're going, we're going to find you where you are performing, we're going to find you where you are doing. Then I was like, but my brother, you're doing the exact same thing that you're complaining about now. The exact same thing. And I understand it on a, on a logical level, funny enough.

• 1:13:32Trevor Noah?

  But I also go, it's also funny and illogical at the same time.

• 1:13:35Speaker 01

  Well, you know, Caesar, you live in farms and you know.

• 1:13:40Speaker 02

  So here's the thing, right?

• 1:13:41Speaker 01

  They're at the farms.

• 1:13:42Speaker 02

  If we get into the minutia of it, the points that you raised, like I said, some of them stand, but then, some of them actually don't correlate, because the reason why, for example, let's say,

• 1:13:58Speaker 02

  a Nigerian or a Kenyan person would have felt that we are about a South African, is they would have said that they were provoked to get to that feeling, right? So that's why I was saying, the reason, the reason.

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I understand, they can justify it like that, yes, but everyone's justifying it.

• 1:14:12Speaker 02

  Likewise, even a South African who's saying illegal immigrants should be.

• 1:14:16Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:14:17Speaker 02

  They're not, so, yeah, they'll give you a reason about jobs, for example, and how the healthcare is getting throttled in South Africa, and how we don't have enough, just even for ourselves, right? So how now we are accommodating other foreign nationals.

• 1:14:31Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:14:32Speaker 02

  But at the nub of it is, people were saying the illegal ones don't go, no one is saying, if somebody was here, for example, with the correct papers, they were willing to accept that, right? Now, to your points about why it is that they didn't go and beat up civil rapporteurs, for example, or parliamentarians, just because they haven't got the power to, and the access to be able to do that.

• 1:14:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:50Speaker 02

  To say, exactly.

• 1:14:53Trevor Noah?

  And that's what, that's what, that's exactly what I'm saying.

• 1:14:55Speaker 02

  Where people are unhappy, they'll burn a school.

• 1:14:58Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 1:14:58Speaker 02

  It's the very same school that they need for their community, right?

• 1:15:01Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:01Speaker 02

  But.

• 1:15:02Trevor Noah?

  They complain about service delivery, but they'll burn the place that needs the service, and now there's fewer services. I'm completely with you, yes.

• 1:15:07Speaker 02

  But the reason why they do it is one out of frustration, but also because they've seen that no government official is gonna come here until a school is burning.

• 1:15:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:16Speaker 02

  And only then will I get access.

• 1:15:18Trevor Noah?

  And you're not wrong.

• 1:15:18Speaker 02

  To these people. So that's, that's why it's so difficult to lead people, right? Because there's actually no generalization, none whatsoever, not on an individual level, and even when you get there, different people have different opinions, you can change your mind between what we had and discussed today, to what we discuss in tomorrow.

• 1:15:36Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:37Speaker 02

  And how you feel about it will change, so that's why for me, it's just all is very difficult when it comes to, to matters like that.

• 1:15:43Speaker 01

  You both are absolutely right from these two different angles, and I think, um.

• 1:15:48Trevor Noah?

  It's crazy to think I was just making an alien joke, and now, hey, we, we got deep, bro, we got deep.

• 1:15:53Speaker 01

  What the media did very.

• 1:15:57Speaker 02

  That's funny.

• 1:15:58Speaker 01

  My man.

• 1:16:01Speaker 01

  Caesar, I swear, you know.

• 1:16:02Speaker 02

  We started leaking, man.

• 1:16:04Speaker 01

  If all the three of us worked in a job, no one was going to see them now. And you know what our exit interview is gonna be? They're gonna sit you and I down, Caesar, after he left the room, and they're gonna say, guys, if you guys just focus, Nj, you guys would have gone long, far in this company.

• 1:16:19Trevor Noah?

  They should say this to all my friends in school.

• 1:16:21Speaker 01

  And then his, his ass is gonna be outside going.

• 1:16:26Speaker 02

  That's funny.

• 1:16:29Trevor Noah?

  Sorry, but you were saying, no, you were saying.

• 1:16:31Speaker 01

  So what the media does, what the media does very well is to take a slogan or a line and make it the whole entire protest.

• 1:16:38Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but that's everywhere in the world. Yeah, you're not wrong. You're not wrong.

• 1:16:40Speaker 01

  What they did, what they, how they did South Africa dirty here, the media is saying.

• 1:16:45Speaker 02

  Mabahambi.

• 1:16:45Speaker 01

  No, Mabahambi is about jobs. Then you go, no, it's about the system. First of all, if you say foreigners are here taking our job, there has to be jobs to be taken first, right?

• 1:16:58Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:58Speaker 01

  But, and then everyone goes, no, if they get employed in the former sector, it's impossible to employ them because they don't have the correct papers. So therefore, that theory does not hold water. And that's what was fed to South Africans when they are upset. Until now, labour inspectors, because of whistleblowers, started going to these factories and finding illegal immigrants working there under slave labour.

• 1:17:20Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, under slave labour conditions. Yeah, I saw that.

• 1:17:22Speaker 01

  So you're like, oh, so there are in farms, there are jobs, so these are the jobs we're talking about. And then the farmers.

• 1:17:28Trevor Noah?

  The jobs you were saying weren't there are there.

• 1:17:30Speaker 01

  The farmers and the factory workers.

• 1:17:32Trevor Noah?

  They're not even being kept as jobs, they're being turned into slave labour.

• 1:17:34Speaker 01

  And the mine, and the artisanal mining. Now all of a sudden, those people turned and gaslit the whole country and said, okay, guys, they must all go, then this farm is gonna shut down eh? This, you don't like mazimbas?

• 1:17:47Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:48Speaker 01

  I'm not, I'm a keep, keep. I'm a scorpas eh? Because you know when, when I.

• 1:17:55Speaker 02

  And there was that one weekend where people were like, guys, everything is closed, you remember?

• 1:17:58Speaker 01

  Yakumud. And then when, whenever labour inspectors visit these factories and visit these farms.

• 1:18:02Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:02Speaker 01

  And say, you guys are contravening the labour laws of this country. You are fueling the problem. They would say, okay, guys, then I'm gonna shut my factory down, then everyone must just go home, and then I'm not gonna supply blankets and, you know, mazimbas.

• 1:18:14Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:15Speaker 01

  So now we were gaslit, but no one in the media came out and said, you guys were right. For the fact that legal immigrant and migrant labourers won't come to a country if there's no labour to be done. So if they're not working somewhere, they won't live in a country.

• 1:18:31Trevor Noah?

  That's actually, I would argue that's a fair assertion.

• 1:18:34Speaker 01

  Yes, but as someone who lives their country because they're looking for greener pasture,

• 1:18:38Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:38Speaker 01

  will not build a shack in Cosmo and not work anywhere.

• 1:18:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:18:42Speaker 01

  A shack is a result of someone being employed close to where the shack is.

• 1:18:47Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:48Speaker 01

  So everywhere where you see informal settlement, it's called informal set for a reason. And even farmers in certain places around here have gone so far as electrifying those places. They're the ones who put electricity there. They're the ones who put money together to get containers and put schools there. Do you know what I mean?

• 1:19:05Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:05Speaker 01

  Something like, you are the problem. So no one has come to us, South Africans, said, sorry, we characterized your protest and your anger wrongly.

• 1:19:11Trevor Noah?

  But that's what I mean is like, so, look, the main thing, and I think we can all agree on this is.

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:17Trevor Noah?

  One of the things the media has done particularly bad, especially like, if we're talking about like mainstream media.

• 1:19:22Speaker 01

  Right, all over the world or?

• 1:19:23Trevor Noah?

  And, all over the world, all over the world, not, not just here, is

• 1:19:28Trevor Noah?

  because a lot of media has to generate income and like a profit.

• 1:19:33Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:19:34Trevor Noah?

  It then unfortunately becomes subject to the levers of profits, right? What did Charlie Munga say? Show me the incentive and I will show you the outcome without fail. If you say the purpose of this institution is to make money, then it will make money at all costs. The same way we've seen with AI. If you say to an AI, do this, it will get there using a path that we never anticipated as humans. We're like, no. No, we, we didn't want you to, to do it like, we, we wanted you to pass the test by studying. It's like, oh, I just hacked the other company and now I passed the test. We're like, ah, we didn't think AI would do that. But AI is like, yeah, but you just told me to pass the test. So the same thing goes for, um, uh, media or any, any institution, if you give it an incentive, your job is to make money. Then it'll go, how do you make money?

• 1:20:20Trevor Noah?

  What does it do? It starts looking for clickbait, it starts looking for, um, stories that are interesting. I, I remember talking to, uh, a war, um, photographer. She's travelled all over the world, she's taken some of the most impactful images. She was saying this, there's pictures that she's taken from parts of Palestine, from parts of like Western Africa, from parts of Asia, that her bosses at newspapers have gone, we're just not gonna use them right now because we don't think that sells. Yeah, no, but even beyond that, doesn't sell.

• 1:20:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:53Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, they just go, it doesn't sell.

• 1:20:54Speaker 01

  As impactful as they are.

• 1:20:55Speaker 02

  So they go, here's the thing.

• 1:20:56Trevor Noah?

  So they go, you know what sells?

• 1:20:57Speaker 02

  Why would you be surprised about that? Because you were going under the assumption that, I guess, news outlets are there to disseminate news, but they're not.

• 1:21:05Trevor Noah?

  Because they were in many ways.

• 1:21:09Speaker 02

  Disseminate news in a profitable manner.

• 1:21:11Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, and that's what it's become.

• 1:21:13Speaker 02

  So a story that doesn't sell is worthless.

• 1:21:15Trevor Noah?

  And you know what, you know what doesn't sell? You know what doesn't sell? Nuance. Nuance is the most boring thing in the world, and yet it's the fundamental foundation for society to exist. To what Caesar said, no group of people is the same. Go into a group, even go into a group, like, let's say you find a mob of people beating somebody who's done something. And you go into that mob, you're like, this mob is all in agreement. Then say to the whole mob, do you all agree we should kill them? Someone will be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we shouldn't kill them. They just stole something, we should beat them. Then you go, okay, should we beat them till they go to hospital? Someone's like, aye, that's too much. Someone's just like, yeah, they must go to. All of a sudden, the group is not a group anymore.

• 1:21:51Speaker 01

  This course has started, yeah.

• 1:21:53Trevor Noah?

  But more importantly, it's harder to now tell that story. Who are those people?

• 1:21:58Speaker 02

  Because the story leaves you in a grey area.

• 1:22:00Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, what?

• 1:22:01Speaker 02

  So a story that leaves you with no emotion is like, ah, whatever, bro.

• 1:22:04Speaker 01

  And there's no bottom line, so how do you sell that?

• 1:22:06Trevor Noah?

  Because who, who's the story? What's the story? There was a group of people who apprehended somebody who may have stolen something. They all felt like the person should be subject to justice, but each of them had a different definition of how that justice should be doled out. Some felt like it should be, uh, really extreme, others felt, this is no longer, it's easy to go, that mob was trying to kill that guy.

• 1:22:26Speaker 01

  Leave it there.

• 1:22:27Trevor Noah?

  You, you, you with me?

• 1:22:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:28Trevor Noah?

  And I think that thing, the more news becomes about profit, the more news continues to be about profit. It's going to be that. We, we even seen it on the internet. How many internet videos do you watch? Just look at the title of, of YouTube clips. Everything doctors have told you is a lie.

• 1:22:47Trevor Noah?

  Everything is giving you cancer. Football is a scam. Like, it's just like, big, yeah, but what I'm saying is.

• 1:22:54Speaker 02

  And you know what makes it even worse, right?

• 1:22:58Speaker 02

  What makes it even worse is the fact that even if you do have the right idea, so let's say there was somebody out there who was idealistic and they wanted to just disseminate news. They wouldn't be able to survive long enough.

• 1:23:11Trevor Noah?

  No.

• 1:23:13Speaker 02

  Because it requires capital to be able to do that. And you're only gonna get that sustainably if you are making a profit. If you're a news organization and you're making a loss, you end up asking for donations.

• 1:23:24Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, you're gone, bro.

• 1:23:25Speaker 02

  Oh, bro, come on.

• 1:23:26Trevor Noah?

  You're gone.

• 1:23:27Speaker 02

  What are you doing this for?

• 1:23:29Trevor Noah?

  You're gone. You, you, you're just, you're just at the mercy of the thing.

• 1:23:33Speaker 02

  Capitalism, my friend, it always wins.

• 1:23:37Trevor Noah?

  Let's go watch that movie, bro. You're gonna feel way better.

• 1:23:40Speaker 01

  You sure?

• 1:23:41Trevor Noah?

  My man, Interstellar. You're gonna realize, Eugene, that what we're experiencing already happened and is going to happen and didn't even happen yet.

• 1:23:51Trevor Noah?

  And you'll never look at a bookshelf the same.

• 1:23:52Speaker 02

  Chris Nolan, if you're watching this.

• 1:23:54Speaker 01

  On your bookshelf?

• 1:23:55Speaker 02

  The next one must be about us.

• 1:23:57Trevor Noah?

  What?

• 1:23:58Speaker 02

  Movie, something.

• 1:23:59Speaker 01

  I'm honest with you, I like the lofty thinking.

• 1:24:01Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, that's, I like that you called it lofty.

• 1:24:04Speaker 02

  Think about it, like.

• 1:24:05Speaker 01

  And Caesar said it, he said you must aim for the stars.

• 1:24:07Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 1:24:09Speaker 02

  I don't mean Astri.

• 1:24:11Trevor Noah?

  Oh, that's what I thought. That's what I thought.

• 1:24:15Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:24:15Trevor Noah?

  What do you mean?

• 1:24:16Speaker 02

  This region of the world.

• 1:24:17Trevor Noah?

  Oh, ah, that's not lofty. Yeah, we can get Christopher Nolan to make, no, that's not. I thought you were saying Christopher Nolan.

• 1:24:25Speaker 01

  Guys, guys, cut, cut away, Caesar said, Christopher Nolan must make a shit about us, let's leave the Africa. Africa can sort itself out.

• 1:24:36Speaker 02

  No, honestly, bro, why would Christopher Nolan even make a movie?

• 1:24:39Speaker 01

  That's why I thought it was lofty.

• 1:24:41Trevor Noah?

  I thought it was lofty, I thought you were doing the same thing. You aim for Christopher Nolan, you're like, yo, Christopher Nolan, make a movie about us, and then we hope it's Tyler Perry.

• 1:24:51Speaker 02

  This region of the world, Africa, everything will be disgusting.

• 1:24:54Speaker 01

  And then every time Christopher Nolan picks up the phone to dial us, you say, well, we're fine. Then he goes, oh, okay, they are fine. We're not fine, my man.

• 1:25:03Trevor Noah?

  Ah, let's do it, bro. We'll do it. Now, let's go watch the movie. This has been fun. This is dope. Let's go. Interstellar. Let's do it.

• 1:25:09Speaker 01

  Let's go.

• 1:25:14Trevor Noah?

  What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Day Zero Productions in partnership with Sirius XM. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin and Jess Hackel. Rebecca Chain is our producer. Our development researcher is Marcia Robiu. Music mixing and mastering by Hannes Brown. Random other stuff by Ryan Parduth. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next week for another episode of What Now.

• 1:26:07Speaker 04

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• 1:26:36Speaker 05

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• 1:27:00Speaker 06

  30 seconds response time requires monitoring plan with outdoor protection starting at $49.99 a month. Visit SimpliSafe.com/Licenses for alarm license information.