Episode 194: Broken Arrow: A Compilation

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Justin Roczniak?

  Okay, I got a local going. I got the OBS going. And the ZenCaster is going. I'm gonna say, oh.

• 0:14Liam McAnderson?

  Hang on. There we go.

• 0:16Justin Roczniak?

  Okay, here we are. I'm gonna say three, two, one, mark. Three, two, one, mark. Close enough.

• 0:24Liam McAnderson?

  Crispy. Scooter, turn your camera on.

• 0:26Speaker 02

  I don't have one.

• 0:27Liam McAnderson?

  Scooter, get a camera.

• 0:29Justin Roczniak?

  I don't have a camera either.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  I promise, if I'm welcomed back, I'll do it next time.

• 0:33Liam McAnderson?

  You've been welcomed back plenty of times. This is not acceptable.

• 0:38Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, only I'm not allowed. Only I can have not a camera.

• 0:42Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 0:42Justin Roczniak?

  Only I cannot have a camera. Only.

• 0:44Speaker 02

  If you're doing great, I'd go get my damn laptop and fire it up, but I don't have any space on it.

• 0:52Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, this, the Justin G. Rosiak Institute of Computing has welcomed its newest student.

• 0:59Justin Roczniak?

  How, how do computer, how to compute?

• 1:01Liam McAnderson?

  You have an engineering degree, my guy.

• 1:03Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, civil engineering. There's no computers involved in that. You're supposed to be able to do it all on paper.

• 1:10Liam McAnderson?

  I remember when I was a.

• 1:11Justin Roczniak?

  And your brain.

• 1:12Speaker 02

  Return with a V. Return with a V.

• 1:15Liam McAnderson?

  When I was a, in, in whatever, CompSci, one of three of my freshman year at Drexel, they made us do all the, all the CS exams by hand. You just had to run out the code. And I was just like, big frowny face. And then I decided to be a math major because I could do less damage that way.

• 1:33Justin Roczniak?

  They made the, the mechanical engineering students do finite element analysis, but on paper.

• 1:39Liam McAnderson?

  Oh.

• 1:40Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, no, that's, that's, those are some scary numbers right there.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  I had a, I had a CompSci professor who made us write OpenGL on paper for the exams, which in retrospect was kind of insane.

• 1:54Liam McAnderson?

  Victoria, did you major in CompSci?

• 1:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, my degree is in computer science. Guess you tell with how much I love computers and.

• 2:01Liam McAnderson?

  Well, you're a trans woman, so I figured they just give you one to ponder transition.

• 2:06Speaker 03

  Here's your order of valiant transition medal, and here is your computer science degree.

• 2:12Liam McAnderson?

  Here's your, here's your degree. You have fun. All right. Now manage a PolyKills Plex server. Hope you guys like Marty Supreme.

• 2:22Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I'm not wrong, am I?

• 2:24Speaker 03

  I don't manage the Polycyle Plex server. My girlfriend does that. I'm just dating the person who manages like the greater Seattle, like genuinely like a third of the Seattle like transom and television shows watched go through this one woman's closet.

• 2:39Liam McAnderson?

  Mine is just on the floor of my wife's office because it's me and Roz doesn't know how to use Plex.

• 2:45Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I don't know how to use it. I have access to it. I don't know how to use it.

• 2:48Liam McAnderson?

  You do. And then I guess I'm never switching to Jellyfin, so all of you can just suck a fuck. I've already sunk the, I've already sunk the money into Plex. I'm not getting rid of it now. I'm sorry. I know subtitles don't work, but that's okay. Use your imagination.

• 3:05Speaker 03

  Do, do better audio like setup inside your.

• 3:09Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, exactly. That's not my fault, but your responsibility.

• 3:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:12Liam McAnderson?

  All right, why are we here?

• 3:13Justin Roczniak?

  Hello and welcome to Well, There's Your Problem. It's a podcast about engineering disasters with slides. I'm Justin Rosnick. I'm the person who's talking right now. My pronouns are he and him. Okay, go.

• 3:27Speaker 03

  Shit, I guess, I guess it goes right to me. Damn.

• 3:31Liam McAnderson?

  No, it's, no, wait, no, Victoria, you go.

• 3:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

• 3:35Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, you're Nova now.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 3:37Justin Roczniak?

  You are Nova today.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  It finally, I've, I've, I've finally usurped her.

• 3:41Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, because you sent that car to kill her.

• 3:45Liam McAnderson?

  Which we thought was very rude.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  Look, you know, this is the way of the car, you know? One day you're driving, the next day you're getting run flat. My name is Victoria Scott. I am the person who's talking right now. My pronouns are she and her. Yay, Liam.

• 3:59Liam McAnderson?

  Yay, Liam? Question mark. Hi, I'm Liam McAnderson. My pronouns are he, him, his. That's right, bitch. I've outwoken all of you. And, uh, and with us, we have returning, uh, featherweight champion.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  That's a little much.

• 4:15Liam McAnderson?

  Okay, what weight class you want to be a scooter?

• 4:17Speaker 02

  Well, featherweight counts, but that's about it. Uh, I am angry scooter pronouns he they. Sorry, grace. Um, and that's it. We don't have five guests like last time.

• 4:31Liam McAnderson?

  No, unfortunately. Noticing the conspicuous absence of one voice. Angels we have heard on high. November is sick, we think, question mark. And she didn't respond to the discord. So here we are without her. This, this show is gonna suck, but we're putting it on anyway, because Nova is the glue that holds us together. And we're, and we got three dudes here and most of them are incompetent.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  We'll see. We'll see if we can do a sequel of shit from my first time.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  Oh, God. I will be here to inject some degree of trans humor, although admittedly it will not be as funny. That's okay. All right.

• 5:08Justin Roczniak?

  We need, we need some about, we need at least one trans person on every podcast or else it's just not gonna work.

• 5:15Liam McAnderson?

  No, otherwise it's just me and you talking, which I lived with you for a number of years. I see you fairly regularly. It'll just be that.

• 5:21Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, it'll be confusing.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  That's okay. This whole episode is supposed to bomb.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  I get it.

• 5:29Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, that hurts my voice so fucking bad.

• 5:34Justin Roczniak?

  My, yeah. What, what, what am I looking at here, Scooter?

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Yeah. So you're looking at the Crane Naval Weapons Depot in Indiana. And a forklift driver has done a small oopsie. Uh, that's not a broken arrow, actually, I found out, but it's close. But it's not a nuclear warhead, so.

• 5:57Justin Roczniak?

  So simply a nuclear capable weapon.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  It's no, it's just some asshole dropped a forklift off a dock. I just thought it was funny. That actually is the first picture that has been shown to me in the forklift safety briefing. In my old jobs, uh, weapons handling, safety briefing. And I have heard it has been shown at like almost every air force bases, safety briefings. So I had to put it in here as the first. It's just chef's kiss. But it's actually a, an airdropped submarine mine.

• 6:32Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I can see that it was airdropped scooter. You don't have to insult me.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  Sometimes they they mislead you.

• 6:39Justin Roczniak?

  I can't believe Klaus did this.

• 6:45Speaker 02

  So, so what we're talking about today is continental United States Broken Arrows, which is where we'll get into it later. But the reason I'm here and Devin, for the love of God, please bleep this comedically if you can. I'm sorry to ask a favor. I was a

• 7:04Speaker 03

  Seven minutes, thirty four seconds.

• 7:07Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, you do the thing I do. That's, that's the thing I do on, uh, ten thousand losses too, when I like threaten, threaten Tom. And it's just like, and I'm just like, oh yeah, you know, Neil X elected official over Y ditch.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  But I'm not allowed to talk about that.

• 7:22Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. All right, all right.

• 7:24Speaker 03

  So the rest of the slideshow is gonna be a little challenging then, isn't it?

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Oh, this is all history. It's fine.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  I have the book that says declassified on the front sitting next to me. We're good.

• 7:35Liam McAnderson?

  I had a boy.

• 7:37Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, today, today's, uh, today's subject is Broken Arrow. Some of the greatest hits of Broken Arrow, some of the, the various, uh, the, the, uh, what's the word? The guffaws, the whoopsies, the oopsie doopsies, as you will, of handling nuclear weapons. But first we have to do the goddamn news.

• 8:00Liam McAnderson?

  Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  Oh, this is, the vibes are catastrophic. If Nova's ever worried of it, like, oh, what if, what if, what if people don't want me on the show? Or she just needs to listen to this. We're in shambles. This is not working.

• 8:19Liam McAnderson?

  There, there is an episode that was never released. Where it's just Roz and I and a guest who will remain nameless. And without Nova, it was like, I feel fine with us doing it with like four people, especially because Victoria, you're a, a host now. Basically, I feel fine doing it. But it's also like, we, we scrapped that Roz and I sat there in basically silence for three and a half hours. And we're just like, we can never release this.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  We can't let people know how we live.

• 8:49Liam McAnderson?

  It's just like dip can after dip can after dip can like, oh yeah.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  Was that back when you had the vice news?

• 8:59Liam McAnderson?

  I I looked that I yeah, I looked up that email and I realized that like still in on email from those boys. But now there's the de minimis is over, so it doesn't matter. But, uh, yeah, I they were like the subject line of their email to us. If you go into the, the, well, there's your pump inbox is, is it finally happening?

• 9:21Liam McAnderson?

  They were like, we would like, we understand you've been trying to get ahold of us for quite some time.

• 9:27Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, God. I didn't, you know, I, I, I said no ads on the, on the podcast, but like, you know, I mean, if they actually want to sponsor us, sure. I support tobacco products as a concept, even though, uh, you know, I don't partake.

• 9:43Liam McAnderson?

  Smoke one cigarette every 18 months and look like you're gonna die doing it. Yeah.

• 9:47Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  I, I quit smoking repeatedly and I'm still currently quit as of the recording of this podcast. However, I do think I, the thing is that cigarettes are cool is the problem.

• 9:58Liam McAnderson?

  Cigarettes.

• 9:59Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 9:59Liam McAnderson?

  Cigarettes are cool.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  So like.

• 10:01Speaker 02

  I have to endorse them because my father-in-law used to work as to sell them. So.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, the thing is, is like, I, I suppose it's kind of like, I know that the tobacco industry is evil, kind of like in the same vein as like BP is evil.

• 10:15Liam McAnderson?

  The tobacco industry episode actually is coming. I have started gathering research for that, uh, inspired by.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  Just 40 slides of like the best cuts of snoo- of my snoo.

• 10:26Justin Roczniak?

  We're just gonna do the Marlboro train episode a second time.

• 10:32Liam McAnderson?

  No, I, I, I, if you look, the very first episode of 10,000, on the 10,000 losses speed is me just talking about snooze for like eight minutes. Hell, I bought a book about it and like the history of it. But yeah, we're gonna do the tobacco industry episode. So if anyone out there is a MPH or a doctor of public health, uh, get at me, I guess, because I'm not competent enough to know what lung cancer is.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, like, but it's a deeply evil industry, but that was never good enough motivation for me to quit. Cause I was like, I wake up every day in America, you know, like I've already used six evil industries by the time I walk out the front door.

• 11:08Speaker 02

  I have diesel exhaust fumes, so it was really hard to be like, I know it, you know, it's bad for my lung.

• 11:16Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, no, no, I had to do like, the mental gymnastics required were unbelievable to get me to quit smoking. And a lot of it is because it is cool. And I was like, I don't know if I, my reputation can suffer this kind of pain. Where I'm just like, standing around like, um, like Han from Tokyo Drift endlessly eating from a small bag of Fritos to satisfy my oral cravings.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  What got me to quit was I stopped lighting the cigarette, but still putting it in my mouth for the oral fixation.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  And I kept doing that at, at work and on jobs. And finally somebody was like, I say finally, because this went on for months. Somebody was like, you look like a fucking idiot. I'm like, got it, done.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  Shortly after the events of, of the Deepwater Horizon, uh, episode was recorded, um, and we had that goddamn news. I was so mad that I literally like went for a run around my block at 10:30 PM with a cigarette just dangling from my lip and a lighter in my pocket that I kept flicking to be like, this would feel really good, but you don't get to have it. Just for like an hour. It was insane. It was the most deranged shit I've ever done. And then I found out afterward that I was like, this is a pretty cool story. And then I found out later that like, that is a John Green, uh, novel character trait. Where somebody walks around with an unlit cigarette and I guess it's played. Yeah. And I, I felt, again, I thought I was being cool and then it's like, no, you should have kept smoking if you wanted to be cool. Anyway.

• 12:43Liam McAnderson?

  You have to light the thing. I, I, I, it is not lost on me. I was talking to my wife about this today. So we're, uh, going to location redacted and there's goats there. Uh, and she was like, we're not going to have a repeat of the incident where she got very allergic to horse dander or horse fur, or whatever the hell horses have. And she had to go to bed at like 6:54 on a Wednesday. Uh, and I was like, the, the irony that you married a former smoker is not lost on me. Like a person who can't breathe the air because it has too much allergens. It's just like, and then there's me like, uh, I invented something called triple decking, right? Where you smoke with a lip in and then you take a drink of whiskey, right? That's triple, that's, that's triple crowding.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  The Edward Forty Hands of cigarettes.

• 13:25Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, you you know, you pack a lip, right? And then you have to smoke and then you have to get Roz to hand you the drink of whiskey because your hands are occupied.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  You know, the picture of the spy with all the cigarettes in his mouth? I did that as a joke at Poller and then lit them all to try it. Do not recommend.

• 13:49Liam McAnderson?

  Don't do that.

• 13:51Justin Roczniak?

  I was recently able to pull an Uno reverse card on my landlord, right? Because the foyer of my building constantly smells.

• 14:03Liam McAnderson?

  Ricks of cigarette smoke, yeah.

• 14:05Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, she thought I was smoking in the apartment, which I am not. I don't smoke.

• 14:11Liam McAnderson?

  Right.

• 14:12Justin Roczniak?

  And so after she complained to me about the smoking, I was like, no, I don't smoke. Also, the cigarette smoke is awful. Could you please fix?

• 14:23Speaker 03

  I thought you when you said you pulled an Uno reverse on your landlord.

• 14:26Liam McAnderson?

  Stuff a cigarette into this poor lady's mouth.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  I thought you figured out some way to get her to pay you rent.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Went up, went up in her apartment, just started smoking and lighting it up. Your, your apartment smells like smoke.

• 14:42Justin Roczniak?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 14:43Speaker 03

  Anyway, I don't know what you're talking about with this slide, by the way. I just.

• 14:46Justin Roczniak?

  So here, here is.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  Fifty five degrees outside right now.

• 14:50Justin Roczniak?

  Here is something that is cooler than smoking and that's outdoors right now. Holy shit. It's been like two, two or three weeks at this point here in Philly, like underneath, like 20 degrees. It's been crazy. It's been bizarre. Here you can see all the snow that accumulated up against my purple door enough that, you know, there's an indent there from the door.

• 15:18Liam McAnderson?

  Has the, is, how's the deck holding up? Has it collapsed yet?

• 15:21Justin Roczniak?

  It has not collapsed yet. No, it should have collapsed, but you know.

• 15:27Justin Roczniak?

  It hasn't done that yet. This is the first time in my life I've been mad at snow.

• 15:31Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, normally you like weird weather.

• 15:33Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I love, I love when it snows, but then when it sticks around for like three weeks, it's, it's, and it never goes above freezing that entire time. This has been awful. Oh, my God.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  You know what sucked on our end is the sun would come out, melt the top layer, and then it would go down to negative 20.

• 15:54Liam McAnderson?

  Yep. So you get the ice where it freezes. Yeah.

• 15:57Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  Not to like rub it in, but we've had like false spring for like the past two and a half weeks.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  We've had false spring.

• 16:04Speaker 03

  In the, in the Super Bowl champion city of Seattle.

• 16:08Liam McAnderson?

  That's great. That's great. You know what? Cutter.

• 16:12Liam McAnderson?

  No more.

• 16:13Justin Roczniak?

  Off the podcast.

• 16:18Justin Roczniak?

  You always regret charity in the end.

• 16:20Speaker 03

  Door under my own desk.

• 16:25Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, it's been, it's been, uh, the, the, the, the lack of snow plowing has been pretty crazy. Um, just, uh, the, the, the general, it's not been good snow vibes. This is the first time I've experienced like really bad snow vibes in my life.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  Has every asshole in Philly forgotten to plow their sidewalk?

• 16:45Liam McAnderson?

  Yes. Yeah. Yep. Yep.

• 16:47Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, naturally. But also usually like it snows a bunch and then it's like 40 degrees for a few days. Now I was like, I don't know. Three or whatever.

• 16:56Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, it was not fun.

• 16:58Justin Roczniak?

  It's very bad. It was very bad. I, today, when I went out to, to, to go to the grocery store, it was like, holy shit, it's a puddle of liquid water.

• 17:08Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, my God.

• 17:10Justin Roczniak?

  I haven't seen that in weeks.

• 17:13Speaker 03

  Now, when I, the, the only, it's been a while since I had like bad vibes of snow, but the, the last time I experienced it was living in rural Idaho. Because.

• 17:20Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, yeah, that tracks.

• 17:21Speaker 03

  You get that first one in like late October, November, and you're kind of like, oh, this is gonna be kind of nice. Like, the mountains look so pretty. And then it just stays below 10 for four fucking months. And there's just always more snow. And like, you know, it's like, it's a town of 3,000 people, so they don't know how to snow plow things or, you know, maintain like infrastructure. So it's just hateful.

• 17:44Justin Roczniak?

  I probably can't even can't even walk somewhere too, you know, I mean, that's that's definitely I the loose is I I you couldn't walk anywhere like just trying to get off the bus or the trolley. It was like you're you're gonna fucking immediately be dumped into a snowbank and die.

• 18:01Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. It's just only Victoria's on camera. They're. Hi.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Something's happening.

• 18:10Justin Roczniak?

  What is happening?

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Something's happening on Liam's side.

• 18:14Liam McAnderson?

  Love you and I'll see you in four to six hours.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  I promise I cut this down so it's not like that.

• 18:24Liam McAnderson?

  I I so here's the thing, right? Here's the thing with that.

• 18:31Liam McAnderson?

  Scooter, you've met my wife. You you've met.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  Yep, yep.

• 18:35Liam McAnderson?

  My wife yelled. Hi, Grant. Hi, hi, sweetie. Anyway. So my wife, my the highest compliment, I think my mother has ever ever given my wife. And this is true is that my wife would make an incredibly effective dictator.

• 18:51Liam McAnderson?

  She runs this house like we're the goddamn Navy. It's fucking hor like for a guy who's not especially detail oriented, you know, I'm just like, oh, yeah. Like I'm fucking go bubbling through life with my pants down. Then my wife is like, why are you doing the things that you're doing? I don't understand.

• 19:11Liam McAnderson?

  It's a very, it's very DIY podcast. It is.

• 19:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 19:16Speaker 02

  Shall we move on?

• 19:17Justin Roczniak?

  We do it ourselves. Well, I mean, so it's cold in other news.

• 19:27Speaker 02

  I see your head shake, Victoria. I know it's bad.

• 19:32Justin Roczniak?

  There there were more more Epstein files released and unfortunately.

• 19:38Liam McAnderson?

  Every noun verb.

• 19:39Justin Roczniak?

  Some of our faves were implicated.

• 19:42Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 19:46Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 19:47Liam McAnderson?

  J K Rowling, who turned off her yacht's transponder and erased all the, the, uh, what's it like a dock record or something?

• 19:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:55Liam McAnderson?

  Uh, that's against the law, by the way.

• 19:57Speaker 03

  Um, it was a mistake, you know?

• 20:00Liam McAnderson?

  It was not a mistake. Uh, look, the sooner we just fucking kneel J K Rowling over a shallow ditch and put.

• 20:05Justin Roczniak?

  Say it with me if you know the words. You can't say that on YouTube.

• 20:11Liam McAnderson?

  And Noam Chomsky, apparently. Yeah, and Noam Chomsky, because, uh, all men are misogynistic dickheads who don't care who they harm.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  The, the only thing that I've discussed about the, the thing about the, all of the Epstein case, right, is like, it, it crossed into tabloid information, like, I don't know, in 2019, probably. And nothing really has been treated differently since then, even though it should be kind of one of those scandals that sort of rocks America to its core.

• 20:39Liam McAnderson?

  Right.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  But America has no core, so there's nothing to be rocked. It's just like, wow, can you believe that all these people do this? And it's like, well, yeah, I kind of can. We should probably make it, we should probably punish them for the crimes they have committed.

• 20:50Liam McAnderson?

  Probably execute them.

• 20:50Speaker 03

  But since that's off the table, we're all just kind of like watching, uh, human suffering. So the only information that I pulled out of this that I was able to like wrap my mind around and process, uh, is that Jeffrey Epstein tried to import a Toyota Century and failed.

• 21:06Liam McAnderson?

  How did he fail?

• 21:07Speaker 03

  Which is really funny.

• 21:10Speaker 03

  The guy literally is like one of the, like, all time evils of America, which is insane. Cause like, that is, like, Kobe Bryant of pedophilia and could get away with basically any crime in the entire world and, uh, still could not import a non federally legal car without the 25 year law getting in his way.

• 21:32Liam McAnderson?

  That's, I, I have no words.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  Is that how we got away with getting an A class?

• 21:38Speaker 03

  What?

• 21:39Speaker 02

  Well, my, it's a very long story, but my boss bought a Mercedes A class off an auction that had been imported recently, right after.

• 21:48Speaker 03

  Yes, it's

• 21:49Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  The, the law in the United, the law in the United States is Yeah, you, you have to wait 25 years after a car was made. There is a short list of cars that you can get a show and display exemption for, which is like, if you see somebody bring in like an R34 Z tune or something. Well, I guess six now is like close. Yeah. Uh, but like, you can bring in stuff sooner. Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates actually advocated for that law because they wanted to bring in their nine five nines and those were never federally legal. But like Toyota Centuries do not qualify, generally speaking. And I, it also puts very strict limits on like how many miles you can drive it and stuff. Um, and like, I guess that wasn't good enough for him. I don't know. I just saw the emails and I was like, wow. Okay. I could actually, this, this one I can wrap my head around.

• 22:35Speaker 03

  This feels like something that is like actually comedic. Everything else is like, cool. Wow. Um, I love living in a culture that just treats human beings as disposable.

• 22:47Liam McAnderson?

  As commodities. Yeah.

• 22:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:48Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah. There's, there's a, there, there, there's a lot of nasty stuff in there, but um, thank God we stopped that Toyota Century from coming into the country.

• 22:58Liam McAnderson?

  Pedophiles don't deserve nice things. I would hope.

• 23:01Justin Roczniak?

  I would hope.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  The thing is, is like, they don't, but they keep having them.

• 23:05Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, we gotta, we gotta execute these fucking people.

• 23:08Speaker 02

  I'm looking, cause I don't remember, I don't remember what this looks like. I wanted to just make sure this joke will work. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Nevermind. That won't work.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  What were you trying to look up?

• 23:20Speaker 02

  The Toyota Century. My brain mashed it with a Mercedes for some reason.

• 23:26Liam McAnderson?

  Toyota Century is better than a Mercedes.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  I know, but it's, I, I was thinking it was a totally different car.

• 23:32Liam McAnderson?

  Lovely. With a V12 that makes like 190 horsepower for reasons beyond me.

• 23:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. You could also get a Hemi in them.

• 23:37Liam McAnderson?

  Why?

• 23:39Speaker 03

  I've driven one that had a Hemi, a hemispherical head V8.

• 23:43Liam McAnderson?

  This one makes 198 horsepower.

• 23:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, there, there, it's kind of like, I don't know, platonic ideal car. I've driven it like a 94. Somebody imported. It's absolutely amazing. Wool upholstery is awesome. More people should do it, but we live in hell. So instead you can get the $110,000 Ram E-Rev. I'm going way off track. That's a different podcast. Sorry.

• 24:10Justin Roczniak?

  Check out Tran Gurizma.

• 24:14Justin Roczniak?

  But, uh, yeah, I guess that that is the main takeaway from the Epstein files is not even Jeff.

• 24:21Liam McAnderson?

  These fucking people.

• 24:22Justin Roczniak?

  Can import a Toyota Century.

• 24:28Justin Roczniak?

  That was the goddamn news.

• 24:34Liam McAnderson?

  All right, Scooter, go.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  All right, here we go. Okay, so the Cold War, am I right?

• 24:41Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah, no, it's fucking cold out right now. I don't think it ended.

• 24:47Justin Roczniak?

  No, that's not true. It was like 40 degrees then. They need to open the pools.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  Oh, the Cold War went hot. That's not good.

• 24:53Liam McAnderson?

  Open the pools.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  No, uh, so like I'm expecting like maybe 40% of the listeners to have actually lived through this.

• 25:06Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, we have, we, I, 40% is probably being a little generous, but we got some old heads on here.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  I know, I know. I get yelled at if I said nobody. But the Cold War and I'm going.

• 25:20Liam McAnderson?

  I'll be right back.

• 25:22Speaker 02

  Jesus, man.

• 25:23Justin Roczniak?

  We never saw Liam again.

• 25:25Liam McAnderson?

  I gotta poop. What?

• 25:26Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, okay.

• 25:29Liam McAnderson?

  I gotta, I'll shit my pants.

• 25:34Liam McAnderson?

  It's not presented to you in solace. What do you care if I shit my pants?

• 25:36Speaker 02

  I have, you have your camera on. I'm going to watch this and hide down.

• 25:39Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 25:42Liam McAnderson?

  This is a crime in some jurisdictions.

• 25:47Liam McAnderson?

  All right, I'll be right back.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  Okay. Thank God. So the Cold War. I'm going to start off this whole presentation with, if you don't have any inkling of what happened between 1945 and 1991, and also don't understand what a nuclear bomb is, you're going to have a hard time. But to try and like, simplify it, is the Cold War was a time where the United States hated Soviet Union because they were communist. The Soviet Union hated the United States because the Soviet Union was right and they were wrong.

• 26:31Speaker 03

  I'm glad you waited for the anarchists to get up to land that bit.

• 26:36Justin Roczniak?

  The base, the base situation was that FDR and Stalin were great buddies and FDR died too soon.

• 26:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:48Justin Roczniak?

  And then the next guy was like, I don't, I, you know.

• 26:52Speaker 02

  Maybe not.

• 26:52Justin Roczniak?

  Thinking maybe he's a fake friend, you know?

• 26:55Speaker 02

  Maybe not, yeah. There's a lot that goes into it, but simply USSR, which was a bunch of countries that, that Russia had made friends with sometimes. And America, who was a bunch of country, states that are all friends and friends with other countries called NATO, sometimes friends, that didn't like each other, but were too afraid of what each other had to do anything about it. And what they had was nuclear stuff. This is the thing that the United States came up with in 1945. The thing, you know, if you don't know what a nuclear bomb is.

• 27:37Speaker 03

  Moving pictures in this slideshow?

• 27:39Speaker 02

  I can't believe it's fucking working.

• 27:41Justin Roczniak?

  This is the first time a GIF has worked on, on this podcast. Yeah.

• 27:46Speaker 02

  Hallelujah. So in the 1940s, the United States hated a country called Germany. And Germany was bad for a lot of reasons.

• 27:56Justin Roczniak?

  And still is.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was gonna say.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  But mainly because they were doing horrible genocide.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  Every time I drive a Volkswagen, I'm like, Morgan thought was right.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  But we were afraid they were gonna make their own bomb to fuck us. So we made our own bomb to fuck them. But then the war was over in Germany before we could fuck them, about two months early. So in July, we tested that bomb. It worked. And then we took it to Japan to fuck them and we fucked them hard.

• 28:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, we we do it. I think I think bombing, okay, I I'm gonna push back slightly and just say, I don't really think that the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki was necessarily to win the war in Japan.

• 28:42Speaker 02

  I never said that.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Well, I'm just saying, I think that it was mostly to show the Soviets, hey, we got this thing. Check this out. That's crazy. And just like Japan happened to be there and like, you know, quote unquote, an acceptable target to show off to the world.

• 28:58Speaker 02

  Well, we had no problem firebombing the shit out of them right before it. So it was kind of like, you know.

• 29:04Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying. It's like, at this point, it was, you know, eh, oh, I got, I got disconnected because I was pushing back on Harry Truman too hard. Oh, no. Zencastr is a pro Harry Truman software. I think it's still going. Keep going.

• 29:20Justin Roczniak?

  Okay, it's still going, yeah.

• 29:21Speaker 02

  Says you're still here.

• 29:22Speaker 03

  No, it just told me it was kicking me out. Anyway, yeah, you go on. I just wanted to be clear that, like, you know, I I I don't think it was quite a necessary strategic maneuver. I think it was more of just like a kind of America doing what it does best and blowing up seventy to one hundred and ten thousand people per city up to as a flex.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  Every nuclear person on the internet's gonna yell at me for this, but yeah, yes.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  Why would they yell at you?

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Because there's two theories and not a third. Theory one is the bombs won the war. The bombs sold Japan.

• 29:57Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  I didn't say it was right. It's just theory one.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  Theory two is that Russia invading Manchuria was what won the war because Japan went, oh, fuck no. We ain't gonna be with them. We'll go with the United States. The, the reality is somewhere in between is not the right answer, but your answer is the one I agree with.

• 30:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I, I again.

• 30:19Justin Roczniak?

  You probably, probably didn't have to do that.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, that was, it was pretty, I mean, it was pretty clearly gratuitous in every history I've read of it, but you know, I mean.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, yeah. And, but again, so was the firebombing beforehand, like.

• 30:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, again, this is why, before we started recording this episode, I was like, you know, when I was, when I was a kid, because I have, you know, I'm on this podcast, I read a ton about World War II history. And I made it to about age 12, when I stopped reading like sanitized children's books and started reading like, you know, actual history books where I was like, I can't read about the air war with bombing anymore because it makes me upset.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:54Speaker 03

  So that was, I am less good at that side of things. And I don't know if I'd be able to clearly delineate when exactly the air war over Japan went from like gratuit, from necessary to gratuitous. I don't think I'm quite qualified for that, but I feel like I'm pretty qualified to say like, I don't think that they, I think I'm gonna state, have a very controversial opinion today. I think Hiroshima and Nagasaki were bad.

• 31:20Speaker 02

  Well.

• 31:20Speaker 03

  If that's what gets me canceled on this show, so fucking be it.

• 31:24Justin Roczniak?

  This is, this is, this is in a hard contrast with our previous bonus episode. Um, the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were good, actually. Oh, yeah. Along with Israel is good, actually. Yeah.

• 31:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, that Pennsylvania GG one conversation got really derailed.

• 31:42Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, so to speak.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  I mean, a lot, a lot of the scientists that built the bomb traveled on the PRR, so.

• 31:53Justin Roczniak?

  We'll get to them. Oh, yeah.

• 31:57Speaker 02

  Um, long story now long is those bombs were created to wipe out Germany. They didn't need them, so they wiped out Japan instead. Uh, after they already wiped out Japan with a bunch of firebombings and then we went a little crazy with thinking that it was fine to continue using these bombs. Uh, in 1946, they did atomic testing in Bikini Atoll, which is all stolen land in the Pacific Islands.

• 32:28Justin Roczniak?

  Mm hmm.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  That we saved them from the Japanese, why did I air quotes Japanese, whatever. Um.

• 32:37Justin Roczniak?

  We saved them from the Japanese.

• 32:42Speaker 02

  But we saved them and then moved them to a whole different island so that we could blow the shit out of their native land. And through that atomic testing program, everybody decided, uh, nuclear bombs good in the military. Everybody wanted them after that.

• 32:57Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, yes.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  So we go into this disagreement with the Russians, planning to just bomb the ever loving shit out of them if they ever come west. And they get a little upset about that. So they took all their intelligence and started making their own bombs.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  Yeah. And if I can just share my favorite anecdote about this, this sort of like early Cold War era, um, in like 1946 or 1947, GE started building the, um, what became known as the Little Joes, the electric locomotives for the Soviet railways.

• 33:30Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  Uh, based off of like their own specifications, what they were going to run, they like what they were going to run for their, uh, you know, overhead lines. Um, and by the time the locomotives were done, five years later in like 1952, uh, the US State Department was like, you can't export things to the Soviet Union. It had gone bad quicker than you could build an electric locomotive.

• 33:53Liam McAnderson?

  Yes.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  Um, so then they get mentioned into service in Brazil and then also the

• 33:57Liam McAnderson?

  The Milwaukee Road episode.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  Milwaukee Road, which is a bonus episode I have to write because it's my obsession. It's like, what if, what if things had gone differently? That's like, there are a couple of like inflection points in American history. I love to think about like, what if the world were not as bad as it is? And that is definitely one of them.

• 34:13Speaker 02

  Well, if there's anybody that knows anything about exporting locomotives to a currently a hostile to American country, it would be me. Um,

• 34:29Speaker 02

  so anyway, uh, Justin, can you go back a slide?

• 34:33Liam McAnderson?

  Yes.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  So anyway, there's kind of a really bad primer about the history in what, seven minutes? But the thing I wanted to implicate is everything that was made to make fun of the Cold War is a hundred percent accurate.

• 34:49Speaker 02

  And this slide is on the right is the headquarters of Strategic Air Command, which is who ended up taking all the air deliverable nuclear weapons and plant, planning and plotting how to use them against the Soviet Union. And they had the big board where they would show where and what everything was doing in the 1950s. And on the left is Dr. Strangelove, where they have the big board where all the planes are going in the 1950s.

• 35:18Justin Roczniak?

  Well, I, I, is, is this like a, this, this is like a, a move, a scaffold that goes up and down, right? So you can, I don't know.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. And the guy has the pull queue that, that moves the planes that are magnetic to the board.

• 35:31Justin Roczniak?

  Oh my God.

• 35:34Speaker 02

  It's so fucking cool. It's so 1950s. I love it. But yeah, there was a guy in the air force that his entire job was to have the highest security clearance possible. Take a pool queue and just move stuff on the big board.

• 35:47Speaker 03

  God, you ever see a job that you were just born a little too late to have? Like, sure, the US military is kind of evil, especially like the 1950s. We're about to transition from, oh, we beat Hitler to, oh, we're going to invade Korea. But also you get to push around little magnetic airplanes with pool queue. I could do that.

• 36:06Speaker 02

  The whole point of this presentation is, man, the air force is kind of fucked. And so is the military, but it's also so fucking cool. That's like all of my interests, but also my ex job.

• 36:20Speaker 03

  Yeah. Again, this is why, you know, in order to remove the moral complexity from the things I'm interested in. Uh, that's why I just got into fighter planes after I turned about 15.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  Oh, that's.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  Because like fighter planes are the most consensual war has ever been. Those two guys up there who are trying to blow each other out of the sky are living for that shit. That, that is pure distilled dudes rock.

• 36:45Speaker 03

  And as long as you do it over kind of like a non-populated area, so your flaming carcass doesn't take out an apartment building, that that's just pure clean fun.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Until you get into the 1960s and we have air deliverable fighter to fighter nuclear weapons.

• 37:01Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, I mean, that's the thing, right? It's like you just you just read the best era of like fighter plane warfare to be really, really into, in my opinion, is the Korean War. If you just strip away all context from your mind and become like perfectly smooth brained, and you just look at like F-86s and MiG-15s fighting it out and forget about all the geopolitical context outside of it and like mass death, you're just like, okay, it's about these two planes right now. It's it's I watched a lot of dogfights in the history channel as a kid.

• 37:33Justin Roczniak?

  And they have ejector seats, so no one even gets killed.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, sure, you know, yeah, we can go with that.

• 37:42Speaker 02

  This is the best War Thunder game I've ever played.

• 37:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, the the MiG-15 was actually, I think, the latest airplane that was ever produced that still had the World War I fighting strategy of eh, don't worry about it. We got more guys.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  Oh, God. Oh, okay. So we should move on. So that's that's kind of your recap. Two slides, please.

• 38:07Justin Roczniak?

  Two slides.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  That's the one. So the bomb that you saw falling in the gif a minute ago is this one. The last big one, the largest bomb we ever built, the Mark 41, the spikes on it make it more menacing.

• 38:24Liam McAnderson?

  Is that truly it?

• 38:25Speaker 02

  No.

• 38:26Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, okay. I was just like, all right, it seems like something the Nazis built.

• 38:32Liam McAnderson?

  Who gives a shit? We're gonna annihilate the planet.

• 38:36Speaker 02

  I only put this in here before we get into the subject because it always pisses me off when people talk about this. This is the biggest bomb. This is the biggest bomb. No bitches. This is the biggest bomb we ever dropped from a plane. And it is the last one we ever dropped from a plane and actually detonated. Sorry, ran over, next slide.

• 38:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 38:54Speaker 02

  So we're here to talk about broken arrows. What is a broken arrow? Well, the movie Broken Arrow came out in 1996 and John Travolta facing off against Christian Slater, where John Travolta steals the B3 bomber, a bomber that doesn't exist, but might now because he said what the two little raider bomber is, and he steals and steals the nuclear weapons to go bomb, bomb Salt Lake City. But that's not what we're talking about today.

• 39:20Liam McAnderson?

  We, we should have bombed Salt Lake City. The 2002 election had never happened. Mitt Romney wouldn't be alive right now if we had done the right thing and nuked, nuked the Mormons.

• 39:31Justin Roczniak?

  I was, I was about to say, I thought, you know, you bombed Denver, but you have to do that with a train.

• 39:37Speaker 02

  Well, they get on a train. The movie has a train. It's not right, but it's.

• 39:40Justin Roczniak?

  I didn't know there was a train in them. Okay.

• 39:42Speaker 02

  You'll have to watch.

• 39:43Justin Roczniak?

  I was thinking about the atomic train.

• 39:45Speaker 03

  What was it with this kind of like 90s spate of sort of like, oh, the cold war's over. We have to reinvent all the anxieties now for the movies.

• 39:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:54Speaker 03

  Cause it was like this.

• 39:55Liam McAnderson?

  The sum of all fears.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  This is the same kind of like genre as the Harrison Ford movie where he has to like fight a bunch of people on Air Force One.

• 40:02Liam McAnderson?

  Air Force One?

• 40:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:05Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, clear, it is clear and present.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  No, is it?

• 40:07Liam McAnderson?

  No, is it Air Force One?

• 40:08Speaker 03

  I think Air Force One is the one where Harrison Ford is on Air Force One.

• 40:12Speaker 02

  What am I, fuck am I doing?

• 40:13Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  Whatever.

• 40:14Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 40:14Speaker 02

  My bad.

• 40:15Speaker 03

  I just feel like there were a bunch of movies where they were like, okay, well, we can't make every movie bad guy be the Soviets now. So we have to figure out a new bad guy. And they were just like, it was about like the anxiety of having to fight somebody within the United States.

• 40:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  Which it didn't really materialize at all, or become oddly prescient about how America treated a, you know, polar world. Anyway.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, no kidding. So this is a scene from the movie and it's the under secretary of defense with secretary of defense. And for some reason, the under secretary of defense doesn't understand what the fuck a broken arrow is. Broken what? We call it, we call it a broken arrow. It's what we call when we lose a nuclear weapon. I don't know what's scarier, losing a nuclear weapon or that it happens so often that there's actually a term for it.

• 41:03Liam McAnderson?

  Uh, both is bad.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 41:05Liam McAnderson?

  Yes. I'll go with both here.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  So it was defined in the 1960s as a broken arrow because the military needs a code word for everything or an acronym for everything. And I'm surprised it's not like a B R A nuclear, whatever, you know, but.

• 41:22Justin Roczniak?

  The nuclear separation event.

• 41:27Liam McAnderson?

  Conscious uncoupling.

• 41:30Speaker 03

  Nuclear separation event, otherwise known as my parents getting a divorce.

• 41:34Justin Roczniak?

  No.

• 41:37Speaker 02

  Uh, shit.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  The.

• 41:40Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  It's so sad. Um, so this, this is a term used mainly for paperwork, but it, it has been in a lot of the, the research I've done is somebody has quoted like, sir, we have a broken arrow. Oh God, like that actually fucking happened a bunch. So I can't really make fun of it, but, uh, there's other terms that would, that are also used in this and people might've heard, um, a nuke flash is when like a broken arrow has gone so bad that it might start nuclear war, which we'll get into later. Uh, there's also a bent spear, which is like the first slide where a forklift knocked, fell off and the, knocked the bomb

• 42:28Speaker 02

  over. There, there could be thousands of bent spears. They just have not declassified them. Uh, like there's, there's just so many incidents of like a carrier, uh, weapons carrier moving and the hydraulics fail and the bomb slam into the ground and.

• 42:45Speaker 03

  Well, and also, also like, isn't, I assume that the guys move around the bombs are like, you know, 20 year olds that, you know, enlisted.

• 42:51Liam McAnderson?

  That have been so shitfaced drunk for the past nine days. Yeah.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  It's like, you know, they're doing their best, but also you've given a 20 year old a forklift with a nuclear bomb on it. And so like, you know, that's just gonna happen.

• 43:04Speaker 02

  Well, especially in like the 50s and 60s, like there.

• 43:08Speaker 03

  Oh my God. Yeah.

• 43:09Speaker 02

  And, and then.

• 43:10Justin Roczniak?

  I'm forklift circuit certified.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  Well, and you get into like the post Vietnam era and these, these incidents were like constant because everybody's on drugs, everybody's drinking, nobody believes in the armed forces anymore. So like they were firing guys left and right for like, oops, I dropped the nuke. Oh, you're also high, fly, you know? So there's quite, quite a few very hard to find data on them other than what.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  I feel like, I feel like personally being drunk would make me better at operating a forklift, but being high would make me worse.

• 43:45Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 43:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, agreed. Can't, can't attend to that, but.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  So there's also the empty quiver, which is a seizure or theft of a nuclear weapon. There are none declassified, but you never know. I'm just gonna leave it at that. And then faded giant, which is what I was on here for a full episode last about, which is a non-weapon military radiological incident. And that's your SL1 disaster where the army was operating a nuclear reactor and it became very nuclear suddenly.

• 44:22Justin Roczniak?

  Had a Looney Tunes incident.

• 44:27Speaker 02

  Which, speaking of Looney Tunes, next slide, please.

• 44:30Speaker 03

  Reached its projected power output in point oh one.

• 44:33Justin Roczniak?

  A mere second.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  So now it's time to talk about the apparatus that built why there's so many of.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  If, if you know anything about military history, you've heard the name Curtis LeMay. He was a bomber general in World War, or bomber Colonel in World War II that led the firebombing campaign against Japan. And then he left, left Japan, came to the United States and built the Strategic Air Command and took it from its early years where it was just a clusterfuck. To being the most capable military organization on the face of the earth.

• 45:14Justin Roczniak?

  It went from a clusterfuck to just psychopaths.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  Yes. Cause in the beginning, when there were only a few bombs, nobody really treated it seriously. And there was no real like urgency because the Russians didn't have a bomb yet. It wasn't until late 1940s. So everybody treated it like, oh, we're here just to go nuke North Korea when that kicks off. You know, we're just going to go bomb Moscow for the fun of it. Which we should have done.

• 45:44Justin Roczniak?

  Oh God. Okay. Now, now, now we're getting, now we're getting into. Now, now we're getting into some strange politics.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  It was good that you said what you said earlier when the anarchist wasn't on the episode.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  So Curtis LeMay turned it into the machine, but if you go back to the world war two, there was this guy. General Thomas Sarsfield Power. That middle name is correct. I did not make that up. He is, he is the craziest man in the military by 1960. And I say this because he went to, he didn't have a high school degree and then he got a GED equivalent and went into the military and became a general, the last general since to not have a college education. I'm sure this will come back to bite us.

• 46:39Speaker 02

  Well, he went to like every air force school ever. He'd be, he went to, I mean, I listed them all in the notes, but it doesn't matter. He went to like the air corps training school, the commanding school, the air mail corps school. He learned engineering and armament at the bombardment squadron.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  He's just like a very early military version of those people that like go get a bunch of like masters degrees.

• 47:03Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 47:05Speaker 03

  He's just doing that in the air force.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  He, he became a flight instructor. He learned, he did tactical air, air school. And then he was sent to, he was sent to the Pacific to carry out LeMay's firebombing campaign of Tokyo. So like he, he was crazy good at managing operations because he had done everything. Right.

• 47:31Justin Roczniak?

  His, his job is to murder civilians.

• 47:34Liam McAnderson?

  And he's real good at it.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  He's raring up for it.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:38Speaker 02

  Um, but after World War II, he gets sent to Bikini Atoll for the Operation Crossroads. And is, is the Air Force or Army, Air Corps, but whatever liaison for weapons testing. So he's setting up planes, setting up the support for the Navy who's running the operation. And he sees the atomic bomb go off for the first time and has that like, this is what changes the world.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. I was gonna say presumably he's starting to get withdrawals from mass murdering civilians at this point too.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  Correct.

• 48:11Speaker 03

  Kind of like scratching himself like, damn, you got, you got any more of those firebombs?

• 48:15Liam McAnderson?

  Ah, come on. Just, just one.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  Just one winged B-29s. That's all I need.

• 48:23Justin Roczniak?

  Hey guys. One more bomb. Just one really big bomb. Come on.

• 48:26Speaker 02

  Taking a long, a long pull on a cigarette and going, I just need one more. Just a couple of megatons.

• 48:34Speaker 03

  I know. I swear this will actually be the word to end all wars. I promise. Just, just one more.

• 48:40Speaker 02

  Well.

• 48:41Justin Roczniak?

  After this is sticks and stones, boys.

• 48:45Speaker 02

  He, he goes from Crossroads to Strategic Air Command to be LeMay's, you know, hatchet man. He's who, what takes, LeMay orders him around, but he's the one that goes from location to location. And makes the bomber force go from jerking themselves off and maybe dropping an atomic bomb one day. To having 15 minute ground alert of all aircraft that were capable, uh, at all the Strategic Air Command bases. So if the Russians came over the poles, we, we have all of our aircraft up in 15 minutes and on their way to Russia.

• 49:21Justin Roczniak?

  This is like, this is like when they, uh, they, they were, um, having all the B-52 crews. Like sleeping in the airplanes and stuff like that, right?

• 49:30Speaker 02

  We'll get there.

• 49:31Justin Roczniak?

  Oh.

• 49:31Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, good.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  But so he gets kicked out of Strategic Air Command to go run air, the air research development command. And why that's important is he, okay, the books, the, the, either the books are really pro this guy. And really, really crank or really this guy was fucked, but also really, really cranked. So it's hard to like.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  You have to clarify your usage of the word cranked here.

• 49:58Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 50:01Speaker 02

  Awful people.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  Just, just maybe not the authors, but like their, their mental image of nuclear war is not right. You know, not everything we did is a good thing.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  So, so what you're saying is like.

• 50:17Liam McAnderson?

  Invade Cuba, right? This is like one of the things I know about him. Yeah. And he ran with George Wallace.

• 50:23Speaker 03

  Okay, so what you're getting at here is that like, there's a certain subset of, uh, of military historians are like, wow, this guy was a like drug addled freak. And some of them are like, wow, what a base Chad.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 50:35Speaker 02

  But both are like, this guy did a lot of good for Strategic Air Command. Now, that's bad or that's good is the way it turns, but it's always like, what he did was a good thing. And it's like, whoa.

• 50:47Speaker 03

  He was, he was effective at his job. Whether that was a good or bad thing, it depends on the lens of the.

• 50:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. You know, he was great at his job, but the problem is the Strategic Air Command is ontologically evil and also psychopathic.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  The whole point of it is, yes.

• 51:06Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 51:07Speaker 02

  But so he ca- he's who was in charge of Research Development Command when we were developing missiles. And so a lot of sources will say like, he championed the missiles. He was better than Bernard Shriver, who did it all. And a lot are like, he was a hindrance. He won nothing but bombers. He fucking hated the idea of missiles, et cetera. That's important because he's the reason why the XB-70 supersonic bomber exists. He's who approved that product. Don't know why I'm talking about, look it up another time. It's the hottest bomber we've ever built.

• 51:39Liam McAnderson?

  Hottest isn't good or hottest isn't on fire a lot.

• 51:42Speaker 02

  Like, looks so fucking cool.

• 51:44Justin Roczniak?

  It's got the wings that like, they, they, they.

• 51:46Speaker 02

  They tilt.

• 51:48Justin Roczniak?

  They tilt down and then it rides on the shockwave. Oh, my God, it looks so pretty.

• 51:53Speaker 02

  It looks like the Concorde, but, but like.

• 51:56Justin Roczniak?

  But it goes way faster.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, it goes Mach three. It's so fucking cool.

• 52:01Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, it goes Mach Infinity. It's really cool. And it'll deliver a, a present to your best friend in like 20 minutes.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  There's a, I posted on, on Blue Sky, a picture, somebody designed it to drop a Minuteman missile for launching satellites, just because they couldn't find a reason to keep this thing, it was so expensive. So they never actually deployed it, but like, they're trying to do anything to build more. And like, one's like, we'll put a missile under it and it will launch things into space at Mach 3. It'll be really cool.

• 52:36Speaker 02

  Cool shit.

• 52:36Justin Roczniak?

  It's a good idea.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  And now I'm one of those motherfuckers that are like, he was actually cool. Oh, no, no.

• 52:45Speaker 02

  But in nineteen-

• 52:46Speaker 03

  I was just gonna open the door to this podcast, the room's gonna be on fire. What did you do while I was gone?

• 52:55Speaker 02

  In 1957, he becomes the commander of the Strategic Air Command, because LeMay goes up the military chain and becomes the chief of staff.

• 53:07Speaker 02

  And this is where he just, it's his time to shine, baby. Cause the commander of Strategic Air Command has the authority to start nuclear war without the president, if he can't get a hold of the president. So he's really fucking excited. He also fucking hates the communists.

• 53:24Justin Roczniak?

  A lot, apparently.

• 53:25Speaker 02

  A lot. So, and he has a book called Design for Survival, which I read before I came into this. And he's just like, it was published right before he died and he's just like, you just fuck them. You just nuke them. You, like, it just reads like, we will fuck them, the only way to get for us to win is for them to lose. It's bad, you know? It's so bad.

• 53:49Speaker 03

  America, America being like, we should just commit mass murder to ensure the victory of capitalism. I, what a fringe position for someone to hold.

• 53:58Justin Roczniak?

  It, it, it's very funny when you, you, you think about people who are, you know, like, anti-communist as like, uh, I don't know, a human rights thing. It's like, no, no, actually, we, we should have just nuked Moscow, because those people are ontologically evil.

• 54:16Speaker 02

  Well, what ontological evil in this episode, huh?

• 54:18Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  So this is where I get to my comparison. Cause everybody says in Doctor Strangelove, General Buck Turgisin is LeMay. And after reading this guy's book, it's like, no, this is a hundred percent general power. Like just the, you know, 20, we'll only lose 20 million people if we strike now.

• 54:42Speaker 03

  About saying we wouldn't get our hair must. Yeah.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, we wouldn't get our hair must. Exactly.

• 54:46Justin Roczniak?

  It's amazing that, that, uh, what's his name? No, I'm, I'm the, the guy who directed the moon landing films.

• 54:55Liam McAnderson?

  Kubrick.

• 54:56Speaker 03

  Kubrick.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 54:57Justin Roczniak?

  Kubrick, Stanley Kubrick, Stanley Kubrick accurately described every single archetype in the military with one guy. Peter Sellers.

• 55:10Speaker 03

  I, I, this is a, a, apocryphal, so maybe, I don't know if it's a hundred percent true, but I had read that part of the reason he made Doctor Strangelove was because he was trying to assuage his own fears about like nuclear war. And this was the best image of like the military industrial complex that he could get with from declassified information. And he was basically right about literally everything.

• 55:32Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 55:33Speaker 03

  And he was kind of like, well, I guess it's not worth worrying about because it's all really stupid.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  Yep. Well, like that scene where Turgisin's like, the, you know, will he make it? And he's like, hey, he gets down real low and he comes along the tree line and oh yeah, hot damn, he'll make it. Like that's this guy. A hundred percent.

• 55:55Speaker 02

  Like LeMay, who's, who's like Curtis LeMay was there for Cuba, for the Cuban missile crisis. And he was one of the guys telling Kennedy like, go get him.

• 56:03Liam McAnderson?

  All the, bomb him, bomb him. Yes. And yes, I thirst for blood.

• 56:07Speaker 02

  He said that power was a sadist.

• 56:11Liam McAnderson?

  Oh dear.

• 56:15Speaker 02

  A subordinate commander of powers described him as a hard, cruel individual. I used to worry about General Power. I used to worry that General Power was not stable.

• 56:27Liam McAnderson?

  Oh dear.

• 56:28Speaker 03

  I mean, that's, yeah, that's, that, that average biography of a rabid anti-communist in the US military from the beginning of the Cold War to the end of the Cold War, not being a stable individual. Yeah, that seems accurate.

• 56:42Liam McAnderson?

  Yes.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  It, yeah. So just imagine this guy in charge of everything we're about to talk about because he was. So, next slide, please. So now it's time to talk about the good guys of this presentation.

• 57:01Speaker 03

  I, I, something tells me that we are firmly into an area where God has never witnessed anything and there are.

• 57:07Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, God's witnessed it. All these people are going right to hell.

• 57:13Speaker 03

  So I just feel like this is like, occasionally we have episodes where there's like, hey, this guy was pretty cool. Like, you know, the, the guy who invented like the blowout preventer, like he seemed nice. I don't think anybody in this episode is like, oh, he seemed nice.

• 57:25Liam McAnderson?

  No, these guys are all fucking psychopaths.

• 57:28Speaker 02

  There, there is one guy.

• 57:30Justin Roczniak?

  It was Einstein and then everyone else was like, no.

• 57:34Speaker 02

  There's one guy in the, in Sandia, which is what we're about to talk about. That's actually as close to a saint as you can get as a person that developed nuclear weapons.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  Glowing reference.

• 57:52Justin Roczniak?

  The patron saint of nuclear weapons.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  But, all right, so Sandia.

• 57:57Justin Roczniak?

  Hopefully I'll get on it.

• 57:59Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 02

  Los Alamos, which I'm sure you've heard of, if you've heard of the nuclear bomb and Livable Earth National Laboratory, which you probably know if you're in California, were two bomb designing laboratories. So they would come up with the amounts, the systems, the, the way to make a nuclear explosion happen. Sandia was created in 1949 to take the design of making a nuclear bomb, an actual bomb, instead of just a theoretical operation. This was the bomb factory.

• 58:37Speaker 02

  For all United States production. They are who came up with safety systems for lack thereof. Uh, triggering systems and how to put it all together. That's not great.

• 58:50Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  But they came up with like 90% of the 3,000 to 6,500 components that made all the nuclear bombs work and happen. Um, but the problem is back in the 50s and 60s, we needed this shit now because the Russians had more shit, right? So.

• 59:11Justin Roczniak?

  Theoretically.

• 59:13Speaker 02

  Theoretically. So Sandia was in a really tough spot because they had customers. The air force was their customer, not just, and not just a government liability. So they had to deliver what the air force wanted and the air force wanted now. So safety.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  You gotta love, you gotta love American military procurement where it's like, yeah, we, no one else is allowed to do this. And there's just this one company that we've actually given the ability to handle all this nuclear material. But, uh, we're going to treat them like an actual corporation that we're going to put an order in with. Yeah.

• 59:46Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 59:46Speaker 03

  Like when you see those, like when you, I've, I've seen pictures of like the ads in DC where it's like thinking about defense. Try ordering the joint, the F-35 joint strike fighter. And it's like, that is an advertisement that somebody paid several hundred thousand dollars for to appeal to two people.

• 1:00:04Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:00:04Speaker 03

  Who will use the DC metro.

• 1:00:05Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, it's fascinating. Uh, it's just what a, what a, what a great system. You know, I totally get why it was worth killing hundreds of thousands of people for desiring a better world to make sure we could continue doing this. I'm not, I think that's, that should be the new line of the podcast, actually. That this was, this was a completely worthwhile trade off to kill like millions.

• 1:00:30Justin Roczniak?

  20 million, yeah.

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. You know, I don't know. If you, I, I was gonna say, I should probably look up like what the actual total death uh, count from like all, you know, global south incursions of Vietnam and Korea were. Uh, but I think I'd get too depressed. So.

• 1:00:44Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  Who's gonna say it was a bunch?

• 1:00:47Justin Roczniak?

  I wonder how much an advertisement in the Pentagon metro station would cost. We could probably put one in.

• 1:00:53Liam McAnderson?

  Oh. I'm on it. Hang on.

• 1:00:56Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:56Liam McAnderson?

  DC Metro advertise. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'll get back to you.

• 1:01:01Justin Roczniak?

  Okay.

• 1:01:02Speaker 03

  We should, we should turn, we should turn, well, there's your problem into the new war thunder forums. We could just get guests to come on and give us classified information.

• 1:01:12Liam McAnderson?

  God, just the.

• 1:01:16Liam McAnderson?

  God whistleblow to us, we can be trusted.

• 1:01:22Liam McAnderson?

  So.

• 1:01:22Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I'll just forget who told me the information like instantly.

• 1:01:27Justin Roczniak?

  Not like as like a kayfabe thing, like I'll actually forget it.

• 1:01:31Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, I'm like, I'm like mostly face blind anyway, like. All right, you could, you could do like deep to me in broad daylight and I'd be like, I don't know.

• 1:01:40Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, my.

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  War takes is probably about to have a stroke. Their, their whole brain must be burning right now from this conversation.

• 1:01:49Liam McAnderson?

  All right, hold up. Yeah. All right. So I gotta go to out front, but I think I can do it. Um, you want me to see how much it costs or what do you want me to do?

• 1:01:55Speaker 03

  You gotta, you gotta go halvesies. You wanna do like half? Well, there's your problem. Do half Tran Grilismo?

• 1:01:59Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:00Liam McAnderson?

  I don't see why not.

• 1:02:01Speaker 03

  Cool.

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  I'll contribute to this GoFundMe.

• 1:02:04Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I would just said one, just one side at the, well, there's your problem. Uh, the one that the Pentagon Metro, get what he wanted to say. Leak to us.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  Just like a God milk font and it just says like war thunder. Well, there's your problem.com.

• 1:02:25Justin Roczniak?

  I know a septa bus advertising campaign is not so expensive.

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  Got secrets? We're your people.

• 1:02:34Liam McAnderson?

  On leak us your state secrets, you fucking nerds.

• 1:02:41Speaker 02

  So back on topic, uh, Sandia stopped being totally evil in 1979 when they became a national laboratory, which they were so desperate for money. They started getting other projects like supercomputing and less evil stuff, but they still do the evil stuff.

• 1:03:00Speaker 03

  I was gonna say powerful computers are certainly only used for good today.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  I said less.

• 1:03:06Speaker 02

  This, this stuff ends things in a second.

• 1:03:09Speaker 03

  These guys built the Whopper.

• 1:03:11Speaker 02

  Yep, pretty much.

• 1:03:12Speaker 03

  Oh, man. Yeah, war games.

• 1:03:14Speaker 02

  War games.

• 1:03:15Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, I thought, I thought it was burger thing.

• 1:03:20Justin Roczniak?

  I was like, damn, I didn't know we had a whole laboratory to build the perfect burger.

• 1:03:26Speaker 03

  Describing military procurement to an American.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  God damn it. So anyway.

• 1:03:40Justin Roczniak?

  Home of the Whopper.

• 1:03:41Speaker 02

  There's a guy, there's a guy that comes up in all these, not all these incidents, but a couple called Bob Purefoy. And he starts out as a general technician and ends as one of the directors of the laboratory. He is in safety. He is one of the guys that's sent out when a broken arrow happens to go decide if the safety systems are intact. And if it's okay to like, proceed with the weapon. He never really felt like he did his job right and was happy with what the military ended up demanding of him. So, uh, as we go on.

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  Nuclear bomb safety guy with imposter syndrome is a really good character.

• 1:04:26Speaker 02

  Just imagine a guy that every time, every time somebody's like, you know, we should put, uh, we, we should make it so this can't detonate. If somebody drops a screwdriver or a socket and everybody, and everybody in the room's like, ah, no, no. And he just starts bashing his head against his desk. This guy, it's this guy. So anyway, next slide, please.

• 1:04:50Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:04:51Speaker 02

  So what you're looking at is the first real safety system of a nuclear weapon. And this is what was used on the bombs in Japan. This is what was used in pretty much all bombs up to late 1950s. It's called the birdcage.

• 1:05:10Justin Roczniak?

  That's reassuring.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  And what it is, is a, you would take the bomb in the casing, which has all the explosives, all of the detonators and all of the timing and radar devices that tells the bomb where it is and what it's doing. That's the bomb. Then you pull out the core, which is the part that makes the bomb nuclear and you put it in its little lockbox. Essentially, I am trying to think with the BDSM device.

• 1:05:40Speaker 03

  Chesty cage.

• 1:05:41Speaker 02

  Chesty cage. That's it.

• 1:05:44Speaker 03

  That's why you have me here. Come on.

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  That's a rot. Or, or the, uh, the vacuum cube. That also could be a vacuum cube.

• 1:05:52Justin Roczniak?

  Latex vacuum cube is what I was thinking. Yeah.

• 1:05:54Speaker 02

  Oh, God. Why not both? It's got a padlock. Move on swiftly, please.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  So for our next two incidents, this is how the bomb was rendered safe. Quotes, safe. Okay? So, next slide, please.

• 1:06:11Speaker 03

  Oh, baby.

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm so ready. This is a B-36 Peacemaker. It was designed during World War II to be a bomber that could take off from the United States, bomb Germany, and come back. Hey? Question mark?

• 1:06:26Justin Roczniak?

  Question mark.

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  I don't love TBD on getting back.

• 1:06:32Speaker 02

  The thought was, you know, it'd either go to Great Britain and refuel or question mark, depending on what happened at Great Britain. So, and...

• 1:06:41Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah, glide slope to Reykjavik.

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  A great landing is when you get to use the plane again.

• 1:06:50Speaker 02

  So, this was used, uh, or sorry, this was in service from 1946 to 1959. Cause at this point, military procurement was like, keep everything. And as this got, you know, stopped being, fuck, what's the word? Operational? No.

• 1:07:10Speaker 03

  Relevant?

• 1:07:10Speaker 02

  Relevant. Relevant word. So when this stopped being relevant, you still had to keep it because it's the only plane that could deliver certain bombs. And it, they had it, so why not keep it? Use it for, it can fall behind the B-52 and just clean up the mess, right?

• 1:07:27Speaker 03

  And by clean up the mess, you would make the mess considerably worse.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  So, I could, I could talk about this thing for hours. I love this plane, but it's not the point of this.

• 1:07:39Speaker 03

  This is back when Boeing used to make planes that fucked.

• 1:07:42Speaker 02

  Convair.

• 1:07:43Justin Roczniak?

  It's a convoy.

• 1:07:44Speaker 03

  It's a convoy. Okay, my apologies.

• 1:07:46Speaker 02

  It's magnesium. It's the magnesium overcast. They had recon variants of this.

• 1:07:52Justin Roczniak?

  Flammable metals.

• 1:07:53Speaker 03

  I was gonna say, magnesium, that's stable metal from everyone's favorite season of Le Mans.

• 1:08:01Speaker 02

  But it had recon variants. It had a version that had parasite fighters that could go into the bomb bay and fall out and go fight off fighter aircraft and come back. It had, they built the XC99, which was like the KC one, or sorry, the C5 of its day, which was this just huge cargo plane that they used a little bit and then stopped using because who cares about moving shit around? We just want new shit. And they made a nuclear variant that was propelled by nuclear reactor, a nuclear reactor.

• 1:08:34Speaker 03

  I'm beginning to see how the writers of Fallout created the world that they, that they wrote into every transmat's favorite video game.

• 1:08:42Justin Roczniak?

  Accurately depicted the world as it was if they had gone a little bit further.

• 1:08:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:08:48Justin Roczniak?

  Just a tiny bit.

• 1:08:50Speaker 02

  Yes. It's, this is famous for, and I'm taking a statement from a former pilot. There's many ways to put this. This is famous for six turning, four burning, because it had six prop engines and four jet engines, but it also was known as two turning, two smoking, two sputtering and two burning.

• 1:09:08Liam McAnderson?

  That, that sounds about right.

• 1:09:09Speaker 02

  That's not enough. What about the other two?

• 1:09:14Liam McAnderson?

  Two unaccounted for. Just keep tack, more engines, more engines, more good. This thing's gonna get to Great Britain if it kills us, man.

• 1:09:21Justin Roczniak?

  Two are, two are doing nothing. They're just relaxing.

• 1:09:24Speaker 02

  They might have fallen off. You never know. But it was so fucking cool. It is the largest plane at the United States Air Force Museum. It is like that one that scared me shitless when I was a child. I love this plane. But it's also the coolest plane because next slide, please. The engines on top of this fucking thing came off that plane.

• 1:09:47Liam McAnderson?

  Jay Sate, I regret to inform you, I have to hand it to you. This is cool.

• 1:09:51Speaker 02

  The M497, the still fastest self-propelled railcar, still to this day, flew with J47 engines on top of the damn thing. They took them off a decommissioned bomber and bolted them on top and went for it in 1960.

• 1:10:10Speaker 03

  Dude's fucking rock.

• 1:10:12Justin Roczniak?

  Still has the North American Railroad Speed Record to my knowledge. Also very funny that they have a, is this a pitot tube?

• 1:10:20Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:10:21Justin Roczniak?

  Oh my god.

• 1:10:23Speaker 03

  I I'm just, now I'm just rotating in my mind the concept of this, but with a Penn Central livery on it.

• 1:10:29Speaker 02

  We got damn close.

• 1:10:32Speaker 02

  God, that's, I just, I had to have the green hat simp time after the GG one episode.

• 1:10:39Liam McAnderson?

  You're disgusting. I hope you and Jay are very happy together.

• 1:10:44Liam McAnderson?

  Dickhead.

• 1:10:46Speaker 02

  One hundred and ninety-three mile per hour. Eat it.

• 1:10:48Liam McAnderson?

  Uh, okay, I'll eat it. Whatever, man. I'm I'm I'm already taking L's this episode.

• 1:10:55Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, I just, I had to. So next slide, please. So the big fuck off plane existed to carry the big fuck off bomb. This is the Mark seventeen thermonuclear bomb, which thermo means fusion hydrogen bomb.

• 1:11:13Speaker 02

  It had a fifteen megaton yield, so a thousand times more powerful than the bomb dropped on a thousand. Yeah, I did math, I did math wrong.

• 1:11:24Justin Roczniak?

  Fifteen million tons of TNT. So imagine a big crate of acby dynamite.

• 1:11:35Justin Roczniak?

  Right? And then fifteen million of those. That's this.

• 1:11:39Speaker 02

  That's this. Yeah.

• 1:11:41Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:11:41Speaker 02

  You can see it makes the guy look really small on both pictures. Uh, that's because it's also the heaviest thing we've ever dropped out of a plane. As a wep, as a nuclear bomb. Uh, it was in service from fifty-four to fifty-seven. So like, for three years, this was the spicy boy we had. Our first incident, we don't really have a picture of, but imagine New Mexico Mesa's desert, it's about it. Coyotes, road runners. In 1957, that's it. Maybe an air force base, maybe some trains. That's about it. We're in Kirtland, New Mexico, which is the air force base Sam Diaz up against and where all the, all the spicy boys here are stored for either getting built or decommissioned

• 1:12:25Speaker 02

  because the Pan Texas is still in progress. On May 22nd, there is a B-36 ferrying one of these bombs to Kirtland Air Force Base. And as it comes in for approach, just about noon o'clock, they're four miles out, about 1,700 feet up, coming down. And there's a rule when it came to nuclear weapons and planes. And that rule was that when you take off or you land, you have to pull the locking pin out of the, there's a, like a bicycle chain and a hook, quick release. If you've ever seen Mythbusters, it's almost literally the, the black quick release that they had on that show. You had to pull a pin out of

• 1:13:09Speaker 02

  the quick release so that if you needed to drop the bomb for any reason, an aborted takeoff, a crash, a potential crash, et cetera, you could. So.

• 1:13:22Speaker 03

  So they deemed it was, so just, just because I want to make sure I'm getting this right.

• 1:13:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:13:26Speaker 03

  Uh, they deemed it safer to drop the bomb from 2,000 feet in the air and make sure it was thrown clear of the burning magnesium wreckage, basically.

• 1:13:35Speaker 02

  Correct.

• 1:13:35Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:13:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:37Speaker 03

  I mean, that makes sense, honestly, since the plane is magnesium.

• 1:13:41Speaker 02

  Well, it's, it's just general. It's whether it's magnesium or not, the, the thought was it, there's a better chance the crew survives if the thing full of plastic explosives is not in the plane.

• 1:13:53Speaker 03

  The US Air Force was a, was a no seat belts type of institution. I understand this.

• 1:13:58Speaker 02

  Yes. Yeah.

• 1:13:59Speaker 03

  Slapping my, slapping my Punisher belt buckle to get the chime to stop so I could land my B-36.

• 1:14:07Speaker 02

  So, so they, they have to pull a safety pin out. And because it's you put in when you're in flight, you take it out when you're landing or taking off. They go to take it out and they pull it and bomb goes straight through the bomb bay doors and straight to the ground. Hits the ground and goes off. Now the core is in the birdcage because there is fair unit, but it still hits the ground and detonates and all the plastic explosives in the bomb just for three miles. Just throw shit everywhere, blows out windows, makes Kirkland Air Force Base shit their bricks bad. Very, very surprising and bad. Apparently the plane lifted up like 20, 30 feet instantly.

• 1:14:49Speaker 02

  And then like an extra hundred as it like coasted up from the weight loss scared the shit out of the crew. And just generally was bad.

• 1:14:58Speaker 03

  I do imagine that, yeah, the, the shock experienced by accidentally dropping a nuclear bomb somewhere over rural Texas probably is pretty bad.

• 1:15:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, and luckily again, desert, it just falls into the desert by the air force base.

• 1:15:13Liam McAnderson?

  And turns it all into glass. Easy peasy.

• 1:15:16Speaker 03

  And then a glass factory. Even, even if you're, even if you're in the air force and you don't care about anybody else on the ground. Flying 1700 feet above a detonating nuclear bomb is not a survivable situation. No matter how good your airplane is, I don't think.

• 1:15:33Liam McAnderson?

  You gotta go fast. Just, just, just. Yeah. It's the SR71 approach. Fly faster.

• 1:15:40Speaker 02

  So this is, this is like the first broken arrow in the continental United States that gets any kind of press. Cause like, well, those like everybody in Kirkland knew something had gone off. So, cause there was a, the first broken arrow, a plane crashed into a mountain in, in Canada. This was the one that was like, oh, oh, fuck, this can happen here, but it gets.

• 1:16:03Speaker 03

  But the birdcage worked. So, you know.

• 1:16:05Speaker 02

  The birdcage worked.

• 1:16:07Speaker 03

  That guy with imposter syndrome should be like, not as quite as hard on himself, honestly.

• 1:16:11Speaker 02

  It's a start, but we move on. Next slide, please. This is the B47. This is what was, what was in, essentially being built to fill a gap between the B52 and the B36.

• 1:16:24Liam McAnderson?

  Well, good thing we retired all those B52s, huh?

• 1:16:29Speaker 02

  Replace everything with the A-10. I know who's gonna yell at me on the TV and show us what kid I don't care. Give the A-10 news.

• 1:16:36Justin Roczniak?

  I like, um, it's three engines on each side, but it's on two pods.

• 1:16:42Speaker 02

  Stress Yallow?

• 1:16:43Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:45Speaker 03

  One of my favorite, one of my favorite things is that we have a B-52 here at the, um, the aviation museum that like at Boeing airfield here in Seattle. And they have to leave it parked outside uncovered to comply with nuclear disarmament treaties. So you can, you can fly a satellite overhead and be like, yep, they're not using that B-52 because we still use them all the time. And so that one is decommissioned. So for it to not count is one of the active bombing force. We couldn't put it under the covering that we made for the Concord and the 747 and stuff. Um, a friend of mine took me there and told me that. I thought that was pretty funny because it is, they don't look like they should still be flying at all. B-52s, that is, I mean, they just, they did, they, they do not seem like a 21st century technology.

• 1:17:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, but they're so fucking cool.

• 1:17:29Speaker 03

  I don't know. I think the thing is, is like, you know, I, I was talking about, well, I was talking about like my strategic disengagement. You know, kind of making my brain smooth to enjoy specific airplanes. And I think the thing is the B-52, I have never been able to achieve a level of smoothness where I can be like, oh yeah, that's cool. It's just like, oh man, we're still using this thing. That's dark.

• 1:17:52Speaker 02

  Well, cause it's, it's can carry so fucking much.

• 1:17:55Speaker 03

  I mean, I understand why we use it, but also like, you know, you see a B-29, like you see a B-29 and you're like, well, there's, there's, you can, you can convince yourself that like at some point this, you know, beat the Nazis or whatever, right? Like you see a B-52, this was exclusively used for the world's like most, uh, cold blooded anti-communist freaks to murder entire, like raised villages full of civilians. Because you know, they didn't want the red venus to encroach on land 5,000 miles away from America. Um, and we just keep doing that forever. And so it's like, I don't know. I, that one, I, I think the B-52 is a little difficult for me to be like, it's cool. Plus it's goofy.

• 1:18:35Speaker 02

  It's goofy. That's why it's cool.

• 1:18:36Speaker 03

  No, I think that the, I, I like, this is a silly looking airplane.

• 1:18:40Speaker 02

  It is a silly looking airplane. We're gonna get to it. There's a bunch of slides about it.

• 1:18:46Speaker 03

  I just.

• 1:18:47Speaker 02

  But you know what's sillier?

• 1:18:48Speaker 03

  The center wheels are really silly looking.

• 1:18:50Speaker 02

  This is a B-47. That's why it's the dumbest fucking jet in plane we've ever made. And I know I'm going to catch flak for that, but it's on bicycle gear. So if you break one of the little wheels off on the side, it goes tumbling over and skidding out. It didn't have enough power when loaded to get off the fucking ground. So they had to put J-DO and R-DO engines on these things.

• 1:19:13Liam McAnderson?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:19:14Speaker 02

  The, the famous picture of this is one with the Rados going off. But I like this one because it shows the other problem with this fucker. It's got a parachute because it doesn't have enough ability to stop.

• 1:19:26Liam McAnderson?

  Good.

• 1:19:27Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, gas, no brakes.

• 1:19:29Speaker 02

  Oh, gas, no brakes. But there's not enough gas to get off the fucking field.

• 1:19:35Liam McAnderson?

  No gas, no brakes. It's balanced. We've achieved harboring.

• 1:19:39Speaker 03

  How did the US put up the kill counts it did with airplanes like this?

• 1:19:44Speaker 02

  Lots of them.

• 1:19:44Speaker 03

  This is insane.

• 1:19:46Speaker 02

  This, the worst part is this never bombed anything conventionally.

• 1:19:50Speaker 03

  I mean, I, no, I think that's good, actually.

• 1:19:53Liam McAnderson?

  No, it's the worst.

• 1:19:53Speaker 03

  I think that's the good part.

• 1:19:55Speaker 02

  Well, the, the problem is they made thousands of this fucking thing. I think it was like 1100 and change.

• 1:20:01Speaker 03

  So this is, this is the one post-World War II unproblematic fave for bombers. Cause it, it, its kill count is measured solely probably in pilots.

• 1:20:10Speaker 02

  The B-36 is the same way. The B-36, same thing. It only dropped conventional bombs once, and that was for an airshow.

• 1:20:19Speaker 02

  Dude's wrong.

• 1:20:20Speaker 03

  Wow, we used to be a country that could drop bombs.

• 1:20:24Justin Roczniak?

  You could drop bombs at an airshow.

• 1:20:28Justin Roczniak?

  We're gonna take out some sheep for you.

• 1:20:30Speaker 02

  That was my, I was reading the book on the fucking thing. And that was like, one of those like, wait a minute. It's, you know, I forget what airshow, but it just like dropped for, you know, to prove a point at airshow. I'm like, what?

• 1:20:44Justin Roczniak?

  Today we just crash civilian air.

• 1:20:46Speaker 03

  I, oh my God. We, we should.

• 1:20:47Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:48Speaker 03

  We could finally get rid of all of the excess office space problem in Bellevue. If we just made Seafair a little bit cooler.

• 1:20:57Speaker 03

  Everybody's like, what are we gonna do with all these vacant buildings that we're never gonna be able to use it for anything else? There you go.

• 1:21:03Speaker 02

  Oh, god, fuck. Um, so, B forty-seven is the dumbest fucking plane we've ever built. And it also has like, a problem when it comes to doing its fucking job. And we're gonna go to March eleventh nineteen fifty-eight in Georgia.

• 1:21:19Liam McAnderson?

  Oh dear, a date.

• 1:21:21Speaker 02

  Second date. This is in Savannah, Georgia. I don't know why the fuck I kept thinking Caroline.

• 1:21:27Justin Roczniak?

  I get those confused as well.

• 1:21:29Speaker 02

  It's the south, it's all the same. All the same place, it just goes on for miles. So this thing takes off at four thirty-four PM as part of an operation because the B forty-seven can refuel in the air. But they're trying to move these aircraft to Britain to be closer to the Soviet Union because we're not doing air alerts yet, getting there. So they wanna have it at RAF Bruntingthorpe.

• 1:21:58Justin Roczniak?

  Bruntingthorpe.

• 1:22:00Speaker 02

  Base. Uh, that's where they're headed to and they're gonna fly partially over the continental United States, then go out over the ocean. Aerial fuel on the way, and then land.

• 1:22:10Speaker 03

  You saying RAF Bruntingthorpe really made me miss November.

• 1:22:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, that was one.

• 1:22:16Speaker 03

  I feel like she would know something about this.

• 1:22:18Speaker 02

  Yes. That's why it's in the notes, cuz it doesn't matter cuz they never made it.

• 1:22:23Liam McAnderson?

  Oh dear.

• 1:22:24Speaker 03

  Hi Bert.

• 1:22:25Liam McAnderson?

  Hi Bert.

• 1:22:26Justin Roczniak?

  Hi Bert.

• 1:22:26Speaker 02

  Oh, where's, anyway.

• 1:22:29Justin Roczniak?

  That's the problem with the, the, the, the, I have to have the slides up, I don't get to see Bert.

• 1:22:33Liam McAnderson?

  Oh.

• 1:22:34Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:22:35Justin Roczniak?

  Well.

• 1:22:35Speaker 02

  Got to hear him though.

• 1:22:36Justin Roczniak?

  This is true.

• 1:22:37Speaker 02

  So, so this dumb fucking thing is up in the air on its way. Next slide, please. It's carrying the Mark VI nuclear bomb. This is essentially what was dropped on Japan. But just upgraded a little bit, sensors, safe, quote unquote, safety systems. And contact views on the front.

• 1:22:59Speaker 03

  Sorry, what's a contact fuse? What do you mean?

• 1:23:01Speaker 02

  It's the, when it hits the ground, it goes off.

• 1:23:04Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 1:23:04Speaker 02

  It goes boop.

• 1:23:05Speaker 03

  Yep, makes sense.

• 1:23:06Speaker 02

  Boop, boom.

• 1:23:07Speaker 03

  So not an airburst?

• 1:23:08Speaker 02

  No. It could be, but it's not. That's the yellow dish on the front.

• 1:23:13Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:23:14Speaker 02

  Somebody's gonna yell at me for that, I don't care. Um, but. The policy still at this time is to pull the locking pin when you take off, put it back when you are in the air, right? Twenty-five minutes after they take off, the, they have a device that puts it in now. You don't have to have a guy go back there while the device isn't putting it back in. It's not locking.

• 1:23:35Liam McAnderson?

  Oh.

• 1:23:36Speaker 02

  So they send back Air Force Captain Bruce Colka, who's the navgear bombardier. It's his, his problem anyway, right? Since he's the bombardier. Uh, they sent, say, go back, knock out the fault light and put the fucking thing back in manually. So he crawls through and if you look on the right, there's like that little hatch panel there. That's, he's crawling down through the aircraft and he's short. He's a short king.

• 1:24:01Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, no.

• 1:24:02Speaker 02

  And he can't actually get up to the, to the locking pin to shove on it. So he has to lean up against the bomb to try and, try and get the pin in. This is, you know, a couple thousand feet up in the air. Uh, the bomb weighs about seventy-six to eighty-five hundred pounds, depending on the bomb. And he goes to pull himself up to get to the, the pin, grabs a cable. And next slide, please.

• 1:24:30Speaker 02

  The cable he grabbed was the release cable.

• 1:24:32Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, no. That's got poorly. Oh, dear.

• 1:24:36Speaker 02

  The bomb falls onto the bomb bay doors. He shits himself.

• 1:24:41Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I would, I would be, I would be breaking loose.

• 1:24:44Speaker 02

  Puts both hands on the release cable and the bomb pushes the bomb bay doors open and falls out of the plane.

• 1:24:52Liam McAnderson?

  Falls out of the plane?

• 1:24:53Speaker 02

  He does not. He is hanging on for dear life to that release cable until the doors, because they were just pushed open. The bomb didn't fall through them. They just closed and he walks back into the cockpit.

• 1:25:08Justin Roczniak?

  Guys.

• 1:25:08Speaker 03

  The worst walk of shame ever completed.

• 1:25:12Liam McAnderson?

  I have an announcement.

• 1:25:14Justin Roczniak?

  Guys, you have no idea what happened. I, I'm sorry.

• 1:25:18Speaker 02

  Well, they had an idea because the plane lurched up like fifty feet.

• 1:25:23Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, I seem to have been a whoopsie doozy.

• 1:25:27Justin Roczniak?

  This could happen to anyone, guys. I. Listen. Someone call the president.

• 1:25:36Speaker 02

  Well, well, so.

• 1:25:39Speaker 03

  Walking in like, do you promise you won't be mad at me?

• 1:25:42Speaker 02

  No, I do not promise that.

• 1:25:46Justin Roczniak?

  Well, then I'm not gonna tell you what happened.

• 1:25:52Justin Roczniak?

  You wanna go back there and check? I don't think so.

• 1:25:57Speaker 02

  Hey, is the pin back in? Doesn't matter. So a couple of seconds go by, next slide, please. And the crew hears the boom from the plane.

• 1:26:07Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, good. Well, look out the window, there's the end of civilization assholes.

• 1:26:12Speaker 02

  Well, this is, this is a birdcage bomb, so luckily they didn't vaporize Mars Bluff. But it fell down onto a house in Mars Bluff, which is near Florence, South Carolina.

• 1:26:25Liam McAnderson?

  Long South Carolina.

• 1:26:27Justin Roczniak?

  Long South Carolina.

• 1:26:29Liam McAnderson?

  You could do better than I can, cause you're from below the Mississippi.

• 1:26:32Speaker 02

  So it falls down about a hundred yards from this guy's house. Walter Gregg, and it goes off when it hits the ground, contacted, right?

• 1:26:44Speaker 02

  And he says it's like an artillery shell went off next to their house. But his family was there, his kids were out playing. And it just boom, suddenly. And knocks his whole house almost over, like blows out the roof, knocks his garage over, destroys his car. How his kids survived, I will never know, because if you look at the picture, like it vaporized the trees nearby.

• 1:27:13Justin Roczniak?

  Look, no one wants to admit it, but like kids are pretty durable.

• 1:27:18Speaker 03

  I forget what movie it is, it's like, I don't, I can't recall, but like, there is a movie where it's some kid like runs out into traffic and like gets hit by like six different trucks. And just gets up and keeps running.

• 1:27:32Speaker 03

  It is kind of the average kid.

• 1:27:34Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Yeah, like right about you hit like, you hit like eighteen and, you know, that then you become a delicate little flower.

• 1:27:42Speaker 03

  It's a testament, it's a testament to how poorly designed American trucks are and like SUVs, they kill so many kids. Because generally speaking, like a kid gets hit by a Honda Civic, they just walk that off.

• 1:27:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:27:55Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, he's yawning. Get some coffee, Roz. I could hear it in your voice there, bud.

• 1:28:01Speaker 02

  So, so house becomes house and and the crew, so the crew gets transferred overseas after they like land debrief. Everybody gets like, you're a communist spy. And they're like, no, Colca is just an idiot.

• 1:28:17Speaker 02

  But they get transferred overseas for another assignment as a in Strategic Air Command. And they all wrote letters to Walter Gregg saying, we're sorry. Which I thought was adorable. Like, sorry, you're house anymore.

• 1:28:33Speaker 02

  But

• 1:28:33Justin Roczniak?

  Good things your, your kids can survive a nuclear bomb.

• 1:28:38Speaker 02

  So, so he sues the air force for obvious damages. And they gave him $54,000, which is like 600,000 in today's money.

• 1:28:50Liam McAnderson?

  It's not that bad.

• 1:28:51Speaker 02

  That's pretty good for your house getting house leveled, your car getting blown up, your kids never.

• 1:28:57Liam McAnderson?

  Not getting vaporized, not getting vaporized.

• 1:29:00Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, all, all that stuff was a lot cheaper back then, especially.

• 1:29:04Speaker 03

  I mean, really, like

• 1:29:06Liam McAnderson?

  Control.

• 1:29:07Speaker 03

  These are, these are some policy suggestions. The US military should write a, a, a letter apologizing for everybody's house that they blow up. And they should give them $600,000. Like, that would be a notable improvement in like US foreign policy.

• 1:29:20Speaker 02

  Right? Well, my favorite little fun fact at the end of all this is in 1958, the family went on CBS for this show, I've Got a Secret. You know, one of those where they like ask questions to figure out why you're famous. And their secret was our house was hit by an atom bomb.

• 1:29:36Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, dear.

• 1:29:36Speaker 02

  It's like, back then, like, nobody's gonna fucking believe you.

• 1:29:41Speaker 03

  I mean, to be fair, I don't think that's necessarily a back then type deal. I don't know if I'd believe it if somebody came up to me now and was like, my house was hit by an atom bomb. I'd be like, okay.

• 1:29:53Liam McAnderson?

  Show me the video.

• 1:29:56Justin Roczniak?

  Well, this is going, this is going on TikTok immediately. Yeah.

• 1:29:59Speaker 02

  So, so next slide, please.

• 1:30:03Liam McAnderson?

  So This Sabrina Carpenter dance is just like that.

• 1:30:07Liam McAnderson?

  Vaporized in front of you. Your house is turned into fucking piles of brick.

• 1:30:14Speaker 02

  So like you can go see this still technically not really um they there used to be like this really nice the the crater is still there and there was this like little nice like um information thing and signs pointing to it.

• 1:30:29Speaker 03

  Does that say crater road?

• 1:30:31Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:30:33Speaker 02

  They named the trailer park road crater road.

• 1:30:37Speaker 03

  I I fucking love the south. That's awesome.

• 1:30:39Justin Roczniak?

  I like the Federal Highway Administration, you know, styled sign that says atomic bomb crater site.

• 1:30:45Speaker 02

  Yes. So all this has been taken down since the trailer park disappeared um and now it's trespassing to go back there. So you really shouldn't. Uh, some of us have not saying who uh but the metal highway sign is still there. So you got an idea where it is. But in the Florence County Museum, they have pieces of the bomb like that was found after the accident and a congressman kept them and then donated them to the museum. Um, I.

• 1:31:14Speaker 03

  Every story about a 50s congressman is insane.

• 1:31:18Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:31:19Speaker 02

  Segregation forever. Here's some atom bombs.

• 1:31:23Speaker 03

  If it if it falls in your district, it's legally yours.

• 1:31:27Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah, it's public property.

• 1:31:29Speaker 02

  Well, like, I also I also know somebody that has a piece of it with paint on it still. I'm not going to say who, but it might be the same idiot in the picture with the pieces the congressman gave. Uh, I just love the the the museum did this like whole thing with like the bomb falling towards the house and they're just so proud that this happened in their little county. Like, come look at our museum. There's nothing else, but we almost got nuked.

• 1:32:00Justin Roczniak?

  Trying to think what else happened in Florence County, South Carolina.

• 1:32:04Liam McAnderson?

  Go to Myrtle Beach. You go to that uh parties I used to manage. I know they call it party artists.

• 1:32:09Justin Roczniak?

  Is is Myrtle Beach in Florence County?

• 1:32:11Liam McAnderson?

  No, I think so.

• 1:32:12Justin Roczniak?

  No, I I think I've been to this fucking horrible county. Hold on.

• 1:32:17Liam McAnderson?

  Why?

• 1:32:18Speaker 02

  It it has.

• 1:32:19Liam McAnderson?

  Why have you been there?

• 1:32:20Speaker 02

  If it was a Dow or a Monsanto plant was like the other big thing in the.

• 1:32:26Liam McAnderson?

  Myrtle Beach is a.

• 1:32:28Justin Roczniak?

  Like, no, I think this is where I went to crew camp.

• 1:32:31Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, you poor son of a bitch. Horry County, South Carolina. It's Myrtle Beach.

• 1:32:35Speaker 02

  Gotcha.

• 1:32:36Liam McAnderson?

  I love Myrtle Beach, man. I I will never surrender my love trash.

• 1:32:41Speaker 02

  My wife's from there, so I.

• 1:32:44Speaker 03

  My family did Hilton Head as a kid.

• 1:32:46Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, you went to Hilton Head? Oh, that's nice. Hilton Head's nice. Yeah, this is not what we're talking about, Victoria.

• 1:32:52Speaker 03

  That's the only thing I know. I don't know what Myrtle Beach is like.

• 1:32:55Speaker 02

  So.

• 1:32:56Liam McAnderson?

  A shithole. It rules.

• 1:32:58Speaker 02

  For time's sake, I had to leave off the time that we almost nuked Hilton Head.

• 1:33:03Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:33:04Speaker 02

  When a B-47 broke up over top of Tybee Island and dropped the bomb that we still haven't found.

• 1:33:12Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:33:14Speaker 03

  A fun prize for the listeners of this show.

• 1:33:18Liam McAnderson?

  Tybee Island fucking rules, by the way. You get so goddamn drunk there.

• 1:33:21Speaker 02

  I, I, I left it out because that's pretty much the whole story is plane, plane hits an F-86, falls apart, bomb goes into the sand, never found again. Um, but had I have known you went to Hilton Head, I would have included.

• 1:33:34Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, Tybee Island. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been fucked up drunk there. It rules.

• 1:33:37Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, what better place?

• 1:33:39Liam McAnderson?

  And then they have Fort Scraven where they're like, oh yeah, the brave men of the Confederacy. You're like, maybe not.

• 1:33:47Liam McAnderson?

  Maybe we should have nuked it.

• 1:33:48Justin Roczniak?

  Our boys in gray.

• 1:33:49Liam McAnderson?

  All right, bud. Reel it in a little bit.

• 1:33:54Speaker 02

  I like the thought that that bomb has dissolved in the saltwater by now. But there's also a part of me that's like, man, I wish it would just go off.

• 1:34:05Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, you can go to the, uh, what's the bar I'm thinking of down there with the, uh, the daiquiris that got me fucked up drunk and my wife had to drive me home because I was just like, oh, I had one of these. Now, nope.

• 1:34:16Speaker 03

  That's a good daiquiri. One can get you like that.

• 1:34:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, no fucking kidding. Next slide, please.

• 1:34:21Liam McAnderson?

  Everclear. My, my, my muse and mortal enemy.

• 1:34:26Speaker 02

  Oh, my computer just glitched hard. Uh, okay, we're good.

• 1:34:29Liam McAnderson?

  Ross might not be. He's tired. He's a sleepy baby.

• 1:34:33Speaker 02

  I'm going as fast as I can.

• 1:34:34Liam McAnderson?

  I know. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at Ross.

• 1:34:35Justin Roczniak?

  I got, I got, I got, I got, uh, I got fucked up last night making chili.

• 1:34:40Liam McAnderson?

  Did you save me some of those?

• 1:34:42Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, no, there's plenty of chili left.

• 1:34:43Liam McAnderson?

  Thank you. I'll be over soon.

• 1:34:45Speaker 02

  Chili sounds so fucking good. I know what I'm doing tomorrow. Okay. Uh, sealed pit weapons. So probably should have a thing earlier about how nuclear weapons work, but I didn't want to have to do this twice. So here we are.

• 1:34:58Liam McAnderson?

  That's fair.

• 1:34:59Speaker 02

  A, a standard plutonium nuclear weapon is a sphere of plutonium with a neutron initiator, but right in the center of the sphere, surrounded by a soccer ball, essentially of plastic explosives. And when all those explosives go off at the same time, it takes that sphere of plutonium, makes it itty bitty, makes all the atoms hit each other, makes all the neutrons go out, and then the whole bomb goes, woo! And you have your nuclear explosion.

• 1:35:28Liam McAnderson?

  The whole bottom goes, woo, talk to me about Pride Night.

• 1:35:30Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:35:33Speaker 02

  So that is your standard system. Looney Tunes shit. Yeah.

• 1:35:38Liam McAnderson?

  I love that we've created a way to annihilate civilization with Looney Tunes shit.

• 1:35:44Speaker 02

  Well, true.

• 1:35:45Justin Roczniak?

  You take, uh, you take an amount of, you know, plutonium and it's like, well, this is not a critical mass, but if we make it smaller, it is. And so you explode a bunch of stuff around it and then, yeah, and then, and then, and then, then there she goes.

• 1:35:59Speaker 02

  Off, off, off to the races. So, but that's how, because it's that simple, that's how you can get the birdcage style weapons where you pull the whole core out and you're just left with the explosives, right?

• 1:36:11Liam McAnderson?

  Hmm, okay.

• 1:36:12Speaker 02

  As weapons design gets more intense and you start coming out with what's called boosted weapons, which is where you put like deuterium or tritium gas inside the core for a detonation, which gives you a little bit of a, a fusion boost instead of fission. Um, or you have your thermonuclear weapons, which you use a primary, which is your.

• 1:36:38Speaker 02

  Fusion weapon to start a secondary which creates your nuclear fusion. Things get too complicated to where you can pull the core out like as a guy. Like you have to dissemble whole fucking thing to do it. So on the right kind of shows you how these worked where there was a gas reservoir. The teal thing that would pump the gas into the core, which is, you know, a mixture of plutonium and other alloys. And then you still have the soccer ball of plastic explosives and detonators set to a timing unit. That's called the X unit, which is essentially the flashbulb system to flash all the detonators at once. Makes sense enough to get us over the road.

• 1:37:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, the Winston link bomb.

• 1:37:19Speaker 02

  Yes, but this in front of six 11 perfect.

• 1:37:24Speaker 02

  My problems in.

• 1:37:26Justin Roczniak?

  Wouldn't, wouldn't be the first time six 11 killed someone.

• 1:37:33Speaker 02

  So that's, we're now on that system where they're not pulling the cores out there entirely reliant on the safety systems in the bomb, which are little to none in the 1950s. So next slide, please.

• 1:37:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, but like, obviously all of these planes are incredibly reliable and would never crash. So it's not gonna be a

• 1:37:51Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:37:52Speaker 03

  Serious concern. That B 36, that looked like a solid piece of engineering that would

• 1:37:57Speaker 02

  Don't worry about those two engines. Well, we're in the, we're in the age of a different kind of plane. So power is always

• 1:38:05Justin Roczniak?

  I'm going to use the restroom.

• 1:38:07Liam McAnderson?

  Get some coffee while you're there.

• 1:38:09Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. Well, I have to brew it is the problem.

• 1:38:12Liam McAnderson?

  Okay, so do that.

• 1:38:13Speaker 02

  Get an energy drink.

• 1:38:15Liam McAnderson?

  He doesn't drink them. He thinks they're gross.

• 1:38:16Speaker 02

  Get some cocaine.

• 1:38:17Liam McAnderson?

  I keep telling him.

• 1:38:20Speaker 03

  Roz, we're at the halfway point. I think you're safe to brew some coffee.

• 1:38:23Speaker 02

  We're at the half. Are you fucking kidding?

• 1:38:25Speaker 03

  There are 20 more slides.

• 1:38:27Speaker 02

  This speeds up. There's like four that are like.

• 1:38:30Liam McAnderson?

  No, it doesn't scooter. Why are you lying?

• 1:38:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was gonna say, this is my first, this is my first episode where I've actually, you know, co guested with scooter. But like, I think I've learned at this point that that's not true.

• 1:38:43Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 1:38:43Speaker 03

  Appreciate it. Yeah, absolutely. You're thorough.

• 1:38:46Liam McAnderson?

  You want to see what I can do? Watch this. Can you see the back of my chair? Ready?

• 1:38:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:38:50Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, boy.

• 1:38:55Liam McAnderson?

  So one of the comments is like, I appreciate that Leah makes visual only jokes that we never get to see. And I was like, yep.

• 1:39:01Speaker 02

  Here comes another.

• 1:39:02Liam McAnderson?

  That's right, dickhead.

• 1:39:05Speaker 02

  Well, I didn't say it earlier, but when Corinne was standing in the, in the hallway behind you.

• 1:39:10Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:10Speaker 02

  It looked like fucking Slender Man was about to get you from the, the picture in picture I've got right now.

• 1:39:17Liam McAnderson?

  If, if only.

• 1:39:25Speaker 02

  All right. Well, I, I will do my best to keep this under three hours.

• 1:39:28Liam McAnderson?

  It's not.

• 1:39:29Speaker 02

  Oh, it's not gonna be under three hours. Come on. I said my best. Don't worry. I cut out 12 slides.

• 1:39:37Liam McAnderson?

  Fuck you.

• 1:39:39Speaker 02

  There, if things go well.

• 1:39:42Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, he's doing.

• 1:39:43Speaker 02

  There's a whole nother episode.

• 1:39:45Liam McAnderson?

  All right. So if Roz is gonna do god knows what, I'm going to also, uh, I'm gonna grab some more beverginos because we're gonna be here a fucking minute.

• 1:39:53Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:39:53Liam McAnderson?

  It's my scooter. Scooter are not mad at you. Keep talking. I don't give a fuck.

• 1:39:56Speaker 02

  Can we take a quick break?

• 1:39:58Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:58Speaker 02

  Hit me.

• 1:39:59Liam McAnderson?

  Okay, go.

• 1:40:00Speaker 02

  I have to pee.

• 1:40:01Liam McAnderson?

  All right. So pee, I don't, do it on stream, so to speak.

• 1:40:06Speaker 02

  If only I had my camera just for you.

• 1:40:08Liam McAnderson?

  Hang on.

• 1:40:11Liam McAnderson?

  All right, I'll be right back.

• 1:40:12Speaker 02

  All right. Philadelphia Flyers. Three seconds.

• 1:40:15Liam McAnderson?

  I, Victoria, do you know where I live?

• 1:40:18Speaker 02

  I do, but just like, I don't know.

• 1:40:19Liam McAnderson?

  It's, it's, uh, Teen Dating Violence Awareness Day. We're supposed to wear orange. So this is the one orange thing I own. It's a Lindros jersey. I'm a social worker, man. Be right back.

• 1:40:31Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:40:39Justin Roczniak?

  Hi, it's Justin. Uh, so this is a commercial for the podcast that you're already listening to. Uh, people are annoyed by these, so let me get to the point. We have this thing called Patreon, right? The deal is you give us two bucks a month and we give you an extra episode once a month. Uh, sometimes it's a little inconsistent, but you know, it's two bucks. You get what you pay for. Um, it also gets you our full back catalog of bonus episodes so you can learn about exciting topics like guns, pickup trucks, or pickup trucks with guns on them. The money we raise through Patreon goes to making sure that the only ad you hear on this podcast is this one.

• 1:41:22Justin Roczniak?

  Anyway, that's something to consider if you have two bucks to spare each month. Join at patreon.com forward slash W T Y P pod. Do it if you want, or don't. It's your decision and we respect that. Back to the show.

• 1:41:46Speaker 02

  Oh, cool. I'm the only one here.

• 1:41:50Liam McAnderson?

  Yep, it's just me, Victoria.

• 1:41:52Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm here too.

• 1:41:54Liam McAnderson?

  Hey, Scooter.

• 1:41:55Speaker 02

  Thank, thank you for the break. That was much needed.

• 1:41:58Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, don't piss your pants. That would be bad.

• 1:42:01Speaker 02

  You wouldn't know.

• 1:42:02Liam McAnderson?

  Daddy.

• 1:42:05Liam McAnderson?

  I've got a lot to piss my pants on air now.

• 1:42:10Liam McAnderson?

  I live under tyranny. I, I don't know. I, you know, I, no, I'm not even gonna make that joke because someone's gonna get way too into it.

• 1:42:19Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:42:19Liam McAnderson?

  Someone, someone here is gonna have a piss fetish.

• 1:42:21Speaker 02

  Oh, guaranteed.

• 1:42:23Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:23Speaker 03

  In the audience or?

• 1:42:24Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, the audience, which is fine. You know, concerning adults and all that, but yeah.

• 1:42:31Speaker 02

  Not me.

• 1:42:31Justin Roczniak?

  Hello?

• 1:42:31Speaker 02

  Not with me.

• 1:42:32Liam McAnderson?

  Not me. No, I don't have a piss fetish.

• 1:42:34Speaker 02

  I, I know that.

• 1:42:35Liam McAnderson?

  I, I was just waiting for Ross to just like turn around and be like, no, I don't.

• 1:42:38Justin Roczniak?

  Came in at the wrong time.

• 1:42:44Liam McAnderson?

  All right. Well, we're ready when you are handsome.

• 1:42:46Justin Roczniak?

  So what I'm getting from this image is that Iceland is just island.

• 1:42:53Speaker 02

  Wait a minute. Oh, shit. Oh, okay. Well, this, this fucking image is used everywhere for this. So that's funny.

• 1:43:02Liam McAnderson?

  It literally just says island.

• 1:43:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's island.

• 1:43:05Justin Roczniak?

  Just island. Yeah, that's, that's an island. We don't, we don't give a shit. You don't give a shit about Reykjavik.

• 1:43:10Liam McAnderson?

  I like that Elsir Island is labeled, but Iceland is not.

• 1:43:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay. Well, I shows how much I've added it. Um, so we're here, speaking, speaking of fetishes, we're here to talk about Chrome Dome.

• 1:43:23Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, yeah. Love bald guys. Fuck daddy. Fill me up.

• 1:43:28Justin Roczniak?

  I thought it was Golden Dome. I thought that was how President Trump was gonna protect us.

• 1:43:32Speaker 02

  You want this to last seven hours? I'll start talking about that, but not today, buddy.

• 1:43:38Speaker 02

  Oh buddy, I I've written papers on how mad I am about fucking going dome. Uh, but not today. I'll be good.

• 1:43:46Liam McAnderson?

  But not today.

• 1:43:48Speaker 02

  So Chrome Dome is powers is like magnum opus. It takes bombers that are saying on runways with weapons loaded, ready to go with 15 minutes warning. They can get from on the runway to up in the air and away from the base to there is always a bomber in the air at all times, less than two hours away from the Soviet.

• 1:44:11Liam McAnderson?

  That is psychotic.

• 1:44:12Speaker 02

  Yep. And there's three different routes there on two.

• 1:44:15Speaker 03

  Yeah. So I, I just as like a side note is like an American kid who had a grandfather who served in Korea. This was like one of the things he was happiest about when he would talk to me about like, uh, the American military. Um, this is a weird point of pride for a certain generation and a certain mindset of person.

• 1:44:35Liam McAnderson?

  This is boo bananas.

• 1:44:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I don't think it was good. I mean, I love my grandfather, but I think his opinions about American foreign policy were bad.

• 1:44:46Justin Roczniak?

  You gotta hang on to that. A complicated and elaborate system.

• 1:44:50Liam McAnderson?

  Yes, you do.

• 1:44:51Justin Roczniak?

  I'll be honest with you.

• 1:44:53Speaker 02

  This was buddy. So there were Chrome Dome was keeping 12 planes in the air at all times with aerial refueling. And they'd leave from United States bases, go to what was called a fail safe point, hang out there for a minute, and then come back. Fail safe point is the point to where they're saying they're waiting for a go code, which is Strategic Air Command, getting the authorization from the president, or whoever the hell sends it that's got permission at the time to go nuke the Soviet Union.

• 1:45:27Speaker 03

  God, this is psychotic.

• 1:45:28Liam McAnderson?

  This is boo bananas.

• 1:45:30Justin Roczniak?

  It's even crazier. There were some pilots who were like, damn, I hope we get it this time. I hope we finally get to do it.

• 1:45:36Liam McAnderson?

  Oh yeah. It's like one big, you're like, come on, Mr. President, come on Nixon, you son of a bitch. Let's go, let's cook.

• 1:45:41Speaker 02

  This will be it, buddy. This will be it.

• 1:45:44Justin Roczniak?

  All right, Johnson. Just because the president's drunk doesn't mean it's not a valid command.

• 1:45:49Liam McAnderson?

  You go as I say.

• 1:45:53Liam McAnderson?

  I am the superior.

• 1:45:55Speaker 02

  So, so with with this operation, right? There's a lot of aerial refueling. We'll get to it. And also, there are a lot of planes just constantly shuttling around in the United States to make sure there's enough bombers at the bases these... Yeah, moving this, moving these guys around was a nightmare for you. Yes, yes. And keeping the planes maintained and keeping the bombs armed and maintained? Absolute fucking nightmare. And during the Cuban Missile Crisis, sixty-six B-52s were on these routes at once.

• 1:46:32Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 1:46:33Speaker 02

  Sixty fucking six. Like, there would, if you were in, like, Plattsburgh, New York, one would be taking off, like, every ten minutes. I've been there. Yeah, but...

• 1:46:43Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, imagine, imagine you're like, I, I have to instigate the nuclear holocaust, and also I have to live in Plattsburgh, New York.

• 1:46:50Speaker 02

  Ross, I have been there. We, we have, we get to say it.

• 1:46:54Justin Roczniak?

  They, they won't even let me go, go take the ferry to Burlington.

• 1:47:00Speaker 02

  So, there's also one other that we'll talk about coming up, but there's also that little figure eight up there, Tully. We'll get to that later. So, next slide, please. So, for these missions, they're used, I keep waiting for the slide to change, like, no dumbass.

• 1:47:16Speaker 02

  So, the plane that they had to use on these was the B-52. It's the, the big fuck-off bomber that we came up with in the, in the early or late forties and put into service in the early fifties. And it went through, like, iteration after iteration after iteration to keep adding bullshit to this bomber. Yeah, what are you on now? B-52H? Ah, yes.

• 1:47:39Justin Roczniak?

  Something like that. I mean, the airframes are still, like, a million years old.

• 1:47:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:47:44Justin Roczniak?

  As I said, Amfleet of the skies.

• 1:47:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, no kidding. Yeah, but you can loiter forever.

• 1:47:49Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:49Speaker 03

  So, my great-grandfather flew this plane.

• 1:47:54Speaker 03

  My daddy flew this plane.

• 1:48:02Justin Roczniak?

  His son will fly this plane, and so on and so forth.

• 1:48:07Speaker 02

  Twenty forty. Twenty forty.

• 1:48:10Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. Yeah.

• 1:48:11Speaker 02

  Fuck you, America.

• 1:48:12Speaker 03

  Really nice, at least, is these planes will finally get the retirement they deserve when America no longer exists.

• 1:48:19Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, sister, you're wrong about that.

• 1:48:22Justin Roczniak?

  So, oh, I mean, they'll they'll get displayed at like various Chinese air museums. I mean, you know.

• 1:48:30Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, the Museum of American Exceptionalism I was gonna fund with our Pentagon dollars.

• 1:48:35Liam McAnderson?

  Leak it to us.

• 1:48:37Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, these things are fucking everywhere already, man.

• 1:48:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, we got the one sitting outside here in Seattle.

• 1:48:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48:43Speaker 03

  It's a, you know?

• 1:48:44Speaker 02

  They're like every Air Force base there ever was because there were so many fuckers. Uh, anyway, the one we're looking at.

• 1:48:52Speaker 03

  Luckily, they were only ever used justly to advance the cause of democracy.

• 1:48:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, unlike all the other planes, these were unfortunately used with conventional weapons a lot.

• 1:49:03Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm aware.

• 1:49:06Speaker 03

  Again, I was the one who earlier in this up in this very episode was like, yeah, I get a little nauseous whenever I see a B-52 because I just think about like what the kill count is.

• 1:49:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yep, they were secret Cambodian bombings. They didn't really happen.

• 1:49:20Speaker 02

  Operation Linebacker. Oh, God.

• 1:49:22Speaker 03

  No, I I fully admit that like, you know, America's kind of like cool plane overwhelms my sort of like anti-imperialism sometimes because like the Super Bowl was this weekend. They had a B-1 go over?

• 1:49:33Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:49:34Speaker 03

  And that I was like, oh, damn, that's pretty fucking cool, honestly.

• 1:49:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, one of my.

• 1:49:39Speaker 03

  That's a it's a slick looking airplane. I don't know. I mean, like, sure, we commit atrocities, but like, damn.

• 1:49:45Speaker 02

  One of my high school, like, best friends flies the B-1 now, and it's one of those like, goddamn, man, how you do that? Also, goddamn.

• 1:49:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know, that that was that was definitely complicated feelings arose. And then the Seahawks one. So I was like, okay.

• 1:50:00Speaker 02

  Oh, good. Oh, good. So what we're looking at is the B-52D. This is, you know, they're building iterations as like the production's going, they're finding flaws and and fixing them, kind of, maybe. Boeing's not really, how do I put this? The Air Force doesn't give a shit if there's flaws, but they're fixing them as they think about. Um, the important part about the D model is take a look at that big fuck off tail.

• 1:50:27Justin Roczniak?

  It's very tall. It's very, very tall.

• 1:50:28Speaker 02

  It's very tall. That is very important because the 52 flies by spoilers instead ailerons. So it'll just instead of the little flaps on the side that like turn up and down, these just go down depending on which direction you want to go and steers you. I'm not, I am an airplane fanatic, not an airplane engineer. If I'm getting this wrong, yell at me in the comments. I don't care. But it uses spoilers and that's like, you know, it's kind of like putting your foot down on one side. If you're on a skateboard, it'll help turn you a little.

• 1:51:01Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:51:02Speaker 02

  So that makes sense.

• 1:51:03Liam McAnderson?

  I don't make any bones about pretending to know how planes work. I have no fucking idea.

• 1:51:07Speaker 02

  Well, the best I can describe with that.

• 1:51:10Justin Roczniak?

  Podcast is, uh, it's several times in the past, uh, fucked up on airplanes.

• 1:51:14Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, we do that.

• 1:51:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:16Speaker 02

  I'm doing my best here. Cause like.

• 1:51:18Liam McAnderson?

  You're doing great, handsome.

• 1:51:19Speaker 02

  Very complicated.

• 1:51:21Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:21Speaker 02

  To like imagine. But anyway, that's how they turn these fuckers is power in the spoilers instead. And this big fuck off tail helps keep it, you know, everything in line. Uh, this design was what was used. This is like the famous picture of the ones used to bomb Vietnam. Cause they did the black paint. So you couldn't see them versus the, the, the silver and white for nuclear flash protection. So there you go. Um, we're going to January 13th, 1964. Uh, one of these is coming back to Turner Air Force Base from Westover Air Force Base, Massachusetts.

• 1:51:59Speaker 02

  Where it landed and needed maintenance to go back to Turner. Um, and it is carrying two B-53, uh, nuclear bombs. So this is.

• 1:52:08Liam McAnderson?

  I'm sure nothing bad will happen based on this episode so far.

• 1:52:11Speaker 02

  This is the second largest bomb ever fielded. It's a nine megaton yield. So the first one, the one at the very beginning, the 41 was in short service. This one was designed in 1955. It was retired by Obama.

• 1:52:26Liam McAnderson?

  That's not real, is it?

• 1:52:27Speaker 02

  That's real.

• 1:52:28Justin Roczniak?

  Personally.

• 1:52:29Speaker 02

  That's real.

• 1:52:30Liam McAnderson?

  I've had enough of you.

• 1:52:35Justin Roczniak?

  Like Barack Obama came to the bomb and said, I relieve you of your duty.

• 1:52:40Speaker 02

  He came to the, he came to the retirement ceremony.

• 1:52:43Justin Roczniak?

  Really?

• 1:52:44Speaker 02

  I'm pretty sure there's, I either he like did a signage, signature or he's there. I can't remember, but like.

• 1:52:50Speaker 03

  I'm just imagining Barack Obama signing the bomb personally.

• 1:52:55Speaker 02

  Just pulling the core out himself. Well, there it is.

• 1:52:58Speaker 03

  No, just like, just like pulling out a Sharpie and just like.

• 1:53:01Speaker 02

  Be Obama.

• 1:53:02Speaker 03

  Let me be clear. I relieve you of your duties. Signing his name across it.

• 1:53:07Speaker 02

  But anyway, so this is, these things are in fairy con- configuration, which they have the electrical connections pulled so that the arming switches on the bomber can't arm them. Right? So technically they should be safe, but not really. Because like, anything can happen, right? Well, speaking of anything happening, next slide please. Over.

• 1:53:29Justin Roczniak?

  Something's got, something's gone poorly here.

• 1:53:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, over Big Savage Mountain in Western Maryland, near the Western Maryland scenic railroad. Yeah.

• 1:53:38Justin Roczniak?

  That's where they got that big steam locomotive.

• 1:53:41Speaker 02

  1309. And like, like three of my train friends is, you know, hi Cameron, I know you're listening.

• 1:53:47Speaker 03

  I will say, somebody reached out to me to be like, hey, I'll give you a tour of the Snoqualmie Railroad Museum, because I was on the show and talked about how much I love it. Like, my wife and I, like, you know, we had our first date there. That was a perk of being on here. I never realized. Was it just like railroad museums would reach out and be like, hey, you want to come check out trains? I think I probably would have signed up to be a host much sooner if I had known that was kind of like one of the perks of the job.

• 1:54:11Speaker 02

  They have the train plushy, the squishable train. Highly recommend you go just to get that. I ordered one. It's adorable. I had to support them. We donated a Talgo to them.

• 1:54:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I have the, on my laptop, I've got the Train's Pride Trans Flag colored steam locomotive sticker that they designed there.

• 1:54:31Speaker 02

  Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah. Okay, back to the tail getting ripped off this fucker. So they're over Big Savage Mountain. They're having problems with turbulence, so they're going up and down trying to like, find a good spot in the air to be. And they drop down from 33,000 feet and all of a sudden the plane just like, stops planing and starts to like spin and roll. That's good, right?

• 1:54:56Speaker 02

  What had happened was the tail.

• 1:54:59Justin Roczniak?

  What was?

• 1:55:03Speaker 02

  The tail was too big and Boeing knew about it. This had been happening a lot and just three days before one did this in its like in like testing. They called it shake rail and roll testing where they're like trying to get into turbulence and low altitude, high speed, you know, stuff. And it just, these things, the tail would just shear off due to turbulence because it wasn't properly, it wasn't properly um supported.

• 1:55:31Speaker 03

  Are you telling me that Boeing knew about an issue with an airplane and didn't publicize it?

• 1:55:36Liam McAnderson?

  Fuck you.

• 1:55:37Speaker 02

  The air force also knew and then publicized it to their crews because they knew how to arrest this. That's why this one's still flying.

• 1:55:43Liam McAnderson?

  Jesus, Jesus.

• 1:55:48Liam McAnderson?

  I'm not surprised, but I am annoyed.

• 1:55:50Justin Roczniak?

  Just put it back on, just put it back on.

• 1:55:52Liam McAnderson?

  Slap it back on, what are you whining about? Get in there.

• 1:55:55Speaker 02

  Just have the guy get out of the bomb bay, go get it.

• 1:55:57Speaker 03

  Okay, so the thing is, is like, I, you know, I think usually on this show, you know, pictures are just kind of like the illustrative things to the audience. But occasionally one picture is so incredible that I think about the mindset of the photographer that took it. This is one of those photos, like.

• 1:56:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is in a chase plane.

• 1:56:14Speaker 03

  How the fuck did you get this shot, man?

• 1:56:16Speaker 02

  This is a chase plane, the pilot's probably just going, holy fucking shit.

• 1:56:21Speaker 02

  Holy shit, are you guys okay?

• 1:56:24Justin Roczniak?

  Hold it steady for a second, I need to get a photograph so we're gonna be in a podcast 50 years from now.

• 1:56:29Speaker 03

  You know, this is obviously like solidly in the film era and like my grandfather, who I've mentioned previously in this episode, uh, did, was a photographer for the US Army, during the Korean War era. And he told me about how he would like mess up shots sometimes because he was a 22 year old guy with a film camera. Um, and I just can't imagine the tension of going up in the air with a, with a film camera and being like, hope I got that.

• 1:56:57Speaker 02

  It'll be fine. So, speaking of being fine, it's not fine with the guys in Western Maryland because it's snowing, it's shitty out. They just, they're just over a mountain. They hit turbulence of the mountain. That plane spins out and goes down into a field near, oh God, did I not put it in the fucking notes?

• 1:57:17Liam McAnderson?

  You did not.

• 1:57:18Speaker 02

  Oh, it's not.

• 1:57:20Speaker 03

  You are, of everybody, of everybody who's ever been on this show, you have the most seat of the pants notes I've ever seen, I think.

• 1:57:28Speaker 02

  Because I used to write about this show. Salisbury. It's in Salisbury, Pennsylvania. Just south of that.

• 1:57:35Liam McAnderson?

  Salisbury, Maryland.

• 1:57:36Justin Roczniak?

  Salisbury, Maryland is on the eastern shore.

• 1:57:39Liam McAnderson?

  You're right. That's why I was confused.

• 1:57:40Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:57:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, Salisbury, PA.

• 1:57:43Liam McAnderson?

  Okay, sorry. Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:57:45Speaker 02

  Right there near Grantsville.

• 1:57:47Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, okay, Somerset County. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. My fault, my fault, my fault.

• 1:57:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, it goes down south of Grantsville. Salisbury is where it like breaks apart.

• 1:57:57Liam McAnderson?

  Also coincidentally where Flight 93 went down, basically, not totally there, but close.

• 1:58:02Speaker 02

  It's north, northeast of that. So, anyway.

• 1:58:06Justin Roczniak?

  It's all connected. I can't believe Epstein did this.

• 1:58:09Liam McAnderson?

  I gotta tell you, I'm gonna be in Dallas briefly, and I was like, oh, see you, connect. I'm gonna go to the JFK. I'm gonna see where JFK. I said, I'm gonna Dealey Plaza. I'm gonna be like, Justin Roziak did JFK's assassination. Please link to us.

• 1:58:24Speaker 02

  I thought North Carolina barbecue did that too.

• 1:58:26Liam McAnderson?

  What do you got? I just did that.

• 1:58:29Justin Roczniak?

  No, I didn't do that. And the nuclear weapon isn't mine.

• 1:58:32Liam McAnderson?

  No, no. It's not a broken arrow. It's in one piece, motherfuckers.

• 1:58:39Speaker 02

  How do you think they got it?

• 1:58:40Justin Roczniak?

  I don't look at it. I don't, I don't know what the status is.

• 1:58:45Liam McAnderson?

  Just going to the base of like averting your eyes.

• 1:58:48Speaker 02

  So, so next slide, please. So, plane crashes, surprise, surprise. And we'll get to what happens to the crew. But when the plane goes down, the bombs stay in the bomb bay. Good, right? Well.

• 1:59:02Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:59:02Liam McAnderson?

  Called Mumbai now, dude.

• 1:59:04Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:59:04Liam McAnderson?

  Called Mumbai now, dude.

• 1:59:07Speaker 02

  The first person to show up is the sheriff. Oh, they were. And he's trying to like, look over the crash site to see like, what's going on? And he climbs on top of something in the field. And he later described it as the big silver round object that looked like a fuel tank. He was standing on one of the bombs. Oh my god, you fucking moron.

• 1:59:35Speaker 02

  So. Hey, you seen what it looked like?

• 1:59:37Speaker 03

  Believe it or not, he was actually the smartest cop America had ever had.

• 1:59:44Speaker 02

  So, all right, so planes just shattered all over the place. Bombs are there, it's snowy.

• 1:59:50Speaker 03

  Just as an aside, is this the one where they can still like, go visit the tail? Like, there's still like, a tail somewhere, a horse somewhere? Oh, okay.

• 1:59:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're all the parts, like, all the big parts are gone from this one. Oh no, my can. So, it's like, super fucking snowy, because it's western Maryland in January. And it's really bad out, so the, of course, the air force like, freaks out, panics, and sends the bomb squad of the army instead, just because they're close. And they get there and find the two bombs, just kinda like, chilling in the middle of this plane crash. And they're like, we gotta get this moved now, because the, the, the news is gonna see this. And we need to get these bombs out of here. So, they go to the local quarry owner and go, hey, you have heavy equipment that can get us through the snow. We're borrowing it. And he's like, cool beans, I'd love to help. And they're like, okay, we'll help.

• 2:00:43Speaker 02

  So they go and start loading this shit on his, like, tractor trailers and stuff with like, bulldozers, right? This is so fucking raggedy ass. But they're worried. Anderson engineering shit. But they're worried that, like, the rough ride might fuck with the bomb. So they go and get mattresses from the local boys camp.

• 2:01:05Speaker 03

  What?

• 2:01:07Speaker 02

  Yes. I am dead serious. This is in the documentary.

• 2:01:11Speaker 03

  My big printer.

• 2:01:12Speaker 02

  This is in the book.

• 2:01:16Speaker 02

  They go get mattresses to put on the tractor trailer and on the bulldozer to help push onto the trailer. Now, the guys from Sandia earlier fly out to this and show up and see this mess and they're like, is it, are the bombs safe? And they're like, what? Are the bombs safe, you idiots? Are they damaged? It's the internals. Okay. Well, no, we just want to get them out of here. We'll look at them at the airport. What?

• 2:01:45Speaker 03

  What? I do really appreciate that this truck trailer has a sign on it that says explosive.

• 2:01:50Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:01:51Speaker 03

  Possibly the greatest understatement in the history of America.

• 2:01:54Speaker 02

  What though? So, so they trailer this thing up from, if you look at Google Maps, like south of Grantsville is just space. And this is pre-highway. So they're trailing this thing through the mountains and they take it to the Fuck that dude. Cumberland Airport, which if you've ever been to Western Maryland, one of the like three restaurants that's actually good is the Hummingbird at the Cumberland Airport. And I've been there a lot and I can tell you one thing. I have no fucking clue how they landed a military plane there and took off with these heavy ass bombs. Very carefully. Out of that fucking airport on top of a mountain.

• 2:02:32Justin Roczniak?

  Janos, just Janos.

• 2:02:33Speaker 02

  Janos.

• 2:02:39Speaker 02

  Just, just some Eddie B.

• 2:02:41Justin Roczniak?

  Forward and backward.

• 2:02:42Speaker 02

  C47, just like, yeah. A great one is where you get to use the plane again. Don't worry about that, boys.

• 2:02:49Justin Roczniak?

  It had to have Janos for the landing and the cargo bay was entirely Janos for the takeoff as well.

• 2:02:58Liam McAnderson?

  Whatever happens to you is happening to you. Don't worry about it.

• 2:03:01Speaker 02

  Oh, that's.

• 2:03:01Speaker 03

  Roz Airlines does does not turn a profit, but it does get you to some crazy fucking destinations.

• 2:03:09Justin Roczniak?

  Very fast takeoff.

• 2:03:10Speaker 02

  That's some we're gonna get some hostages level shit.

• 2:03:12Speaker 03

  Roz is putting down a 747 on fucking Catalina Island.

• 2:03:17Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. Yeah. You know, you're like one of those airports with the sloping runway in the Alps.

• 2:03:23Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 2:03:24Justin Roczniak?

  Except it's the Appalachians because I serve the people.

• 2:03:30Speaker 02

  Okay, next slide, please. So the Air Force knew about this problem and was fixing it on the G and H model. And it was already like being put on new planes. So they they started like adding kits to the old tails that like reinforced the tail. And that was it. They just reinforced the bolts and shit.

• 2:03:52Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, okay.

• 2:03:53Speaker 02

  And then told the pilots, like, if it rips off, here's how you fly it. That's it. I'm dead serious. They did this all the way through fucking Vietnam.

• 2:04:04Speaker 02

  It's great. So the the pilot, co-pilot survive. The radar navigator dies in the crash, couldn't eject. The navigator gets stuck in a tree, drops 30 feet, walks three miles, dies of exposure.

• 2:04:20Liam McAnderson?

  Jesus.

• 2:04:21Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, God, in Maryland.

• 2:04:22Speaker 02

  In Maryland.

• 2:04:23Justin Roczniak?

  God, I know. I don't like that.

• 2:04:26Speaker 02

  The gunner has it the worst. He he has a broken leg. He walks up a river embankment with the leg and dies 800 yards from a Salisbury streetlight.

• 2:04:36Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, that is undignified.

• 2:04:38Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. The there's a good movie called Buzz 14 on Amazon about this. And there's still a website about this, so you can go see and see everything.

• 2:04:49Speaker 03

  Dying of exposure seems shitty.

• 2:04:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:04:52Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna lie.

• 2:04:53Speaker 02

  Well, so.

• 2:04:53Liam McAnderson?

  Yes.

• 2:04:54Speaker 02

  That's why I forgot is they didn't have their winter gear because they were just flying a transport flight.

• 2:05:00Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, no.

• 2:05:01Speaker 02

  They ended up having like their cold weather parkas and gong.

• 2:05:03Liam McAnderson?

  These poor sons of bitches, that sucks.

• 2:05:05Justin Roczniak?

  You should not die of exposure east of the Mississippi, except in Lake West Virginia. I'm sorry.

• 2:05:12Speaker 02

  Or Maine.

• 2:05:14Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:05:14Speaker 03

  Or Maine, yeah.

• 2:05:15Liam McAnderson?

  Washington, D.C. and Maryland are next to each other. You have been through these mountains, man. I took you.

• 2:05:21Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 2:05:21Liam McAnderson?

  You were asleep in the back of the car, but you weren't there.

• 2:05:27Justin Roczniak?

  Maybe parts of eastern Tennessee as well.

• 2:05:29Liam McAnderson?

  I remember just thinking like this son of a bitch and I remember I was driving a rented Ford Fusion Hybrid. Fucking Ross falls asleep and I slam the brakes and I'm just like absolutely fucking not. If we if we die, we die together.

• 2:05:50Speaker 02

  Continue. All right, so that's what happens with them. You can go see these sites, you can, there's a good memorial in Grantsville. Very interesting. There's a lot I left out for time, so do your own research if you want to see see more.

• 2:06:07Speaker 03

  Do your own research, broken arrows, inventing a completely new conspiracy theory brain. For the late 2020s collapse.

• 2:06:16Justin Roczniak?

  Place called Politically Incorrect on 4chan, go look it up.

• 2:06:22Speaker 02

  Next slide. So now we get to talk about aerial refueling, which pretty simple. KC 135 or KC 97 has a big boom because the air force for some reason likes the boom instead of like a basket with a hose. So you have a boom, extends down to a hole on top of the plane, plane flies up, connects to the boom, locks on and transfers hundreds of thousands of gallons of fuel a minute.

• 2:06:50Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 2:06:52Speaker 02

  We're talking like the the B 52 has like 300,000 gallons capacity and in a refueling, they'll get like 110, 125,000 pounds. Sorry, this is in pounds, not gallons. It's like insane numbers and remember they did this with 12 planes, 24 7, 365 from 61 to 868.

• 2:07:16Liam McAnderson?

  God, it feels like a tremendous loss of resources.

• 2:07:19Speaker 03

  Could you imagine if we applied this kind of like energy to building housing?

• 2:07:24Liam McAnderson?

  No, shut up. Back into the content, mind you, go, Vicky.

• 2:07:27Speaker 02

  Everybody, everybody. Like all the carbon dioxide in the air, it's like, dude, it was bad back then. One of these was doing like what my car does forever.

• 2:07:40Justin Roczniak?

  You know what, the food must have been terrible after like day three.

• 2:07:44Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. Do you guys also have just avgas?

• 2:07:50Speaker 02

  So, so this is important because a couple of incidents happened with aerial refueling. But before we get there, next slide, please.

• 2:07:59Liam McAnderson?

  Finally.

• 2:08:01Speaker 02

  The air force was really fucking horny about aerial.

• 2:08:06Liam McAnderson?

  Our goal is your hole. Absolutely.

• 2:08:11Speaker 03

  I mean, I know like the Navy is kind of like the, the gay branch, quote unquote. I don't think that's true. I think it's the air force.

• 2:08:20Liam McAnderson?

  Look, I, and I, I want to be very clear on this. Any holes a goal, except for aerial refueling. Did I say any holes a goal or any goals a hole?

• 2:08:29Speaker 03

  That is.

• 2:08:30Liam McAnderson?

  What did I say?

• 2:08:30Speaker 03

  That is absolutely some like proto furry art.

• 2:08:38Liam McAnderson?

  They're trying to fuck the plane.

• 2:08:39Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:08:39Speaker 03

  Well, of course they're trying to fuck the plane, but this is like, some pilots want to fuck the plane heterosexually. This is homosexual.

• 2:08:48Liam McAnderson?

  This is, this is, yeah, this is, this is plain bottoming.

• 2:08:51Speaker 02

  This is, this is the kind of shit that started all of that. I fucking love it. I found that on my, like literally researching this, like.

• 2:08:59Justin Roczniak?

  The French call it for Todd.

• 2:09:04Speaker 03

  That's crazy. I have no other words.

• 2:09:08Liam McAnderson?

  This is magnificent. I was waiting two and a half hours to get these jokes off.

• 2:09:15Justin Roczniak?

  You know how they have male gays, lesbians. This is male gays, gays.

• 2:09:22Liam McAnderson?

  Have you guys heard of my queer philosophy club, Gaze Into The Abyss?

• 2:09:28Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Roz. That was, that was, fuck you, actually.

• 2:09:35Speaker 02

  Y'all got out of your system yet?

• 2:09:37Liam McAnderson?

  No.

• 2:09:38Speaker 03

  No.

• 2:09:40Liam McAnderson?

  Our goal is your hole. Come on, like, we gotta, we gotta start selling bootleg shirts that just say,

• 2:09:46Speaker 03

  Can you imagine how much less fucked up America would be if like we had not made homosexuality a career ender for the first like 50 years post World War II?

• 2:09:57Justin Roczniak?

  We'd have a much stronger Navy.

• 2:09:59Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. Our Navy would be unfucking, we're already blue water. We, you can't even imagine the nuclear capacity we would have.

• 2:10:10Speaker 03

  I thought you were gonna say, we're already blue water. You can't imagine what we'd be blowing.

• 2:10:17Liam McAnderson?

  The sky's the limit because we have submarine launched ballistic missiles, but that's.

• 2:10:22Speaker 02

  Oh, that's a whole nother nightmare. We'll save that for another episode.

• 2:10:26Speaker 03

  Do they have gay patches for that, too?

• 2:10:28Speaker 02

  I'm sure they do. I didn't find any on the way, but I'm sure there are.

• 2:10:32Justin Roczniak?

  Show me your blowhole.

• 2:10:33Speaker 03

  So I know, I know a decent number of trans men who are in the military at this point, just because like that's a pretty common career path. You be, you regress, you go join the military and then you're like, wow, this sucks.

• 2:10:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:10:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. Uh, but like, it's amazing to me that troops are considered heterosexual at all, from what I've heard.

• 2:10:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:10:54Speaker 03

  Next slide, please.

• 2:10:56Justin Roczniak?

  There is a question before we go.

• 2:10:58Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, bud.

• 2:11:00Justin Roczniak?

  Well, they have, you know, our goal is your hole.

• 2:11:04Liam McAnderson?

  Sure.

• 2:11:04Justin Roczniak?

  On the poster and they have sexy, attractive women who are presumably going to peg you?

• 2:11:11Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:11:11Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, what do you care?

• 2:11:12Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:11:13Speaker 02

  Do you not see the hose that they're going?

• 2:11:15Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. The Air Force is made up of chasers.

• 2:11:19Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:11:20Liam McAnderson?

  The rectum will expand.

• 2:11:23Justin Roczniak?

  That's why they have to do all the evangelicalism because they, they're, they're ashamed of it. But here they are out in the open.

• 2:11:30Liam McAnderson?

  Imagine, imagine a big, thick Italian hoagie, right?

• 2:11:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:11:35Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I'm imagining that right now. It's delicious.

• 2:11:38Liam McAnderson?

  In your butt.

• 2:11:42Liam McAnderson?

  That's.

• 2:11:42Speaker 03

  See, here's the thing. If I imagined it with a trans man behind it, then I'm kind of with you.

• 2:11:47Liam McAnderson?

  Don't want to eat a butt hoagie.

• 2:11:51Justin Roczniak?

  Well, no, you're not.

• 2:11:51Speaker 03

  That's where you and I differ, buddy.

• 2:11:53Justin Roczniak?

  You're booing a hog.

• 2:11:57Liam McAnderson?

  With the hot, with the hot relish too.

• 2:12:00Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:12:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, can I get a salami, a ham, a capicola and progesterone?

• 2:12:07Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 2:12:08Speaker 02

  I call this one the ring burner.

• 2:12:14Liam McAnderson?

  All right.

• 2:12:14Speaker 03

  Wow, this is the most two hours and 30 minutes into a podcast I've ever been in my life.

• 2:12:22Liam McAnderson?

  I do, I do like that, uh, not to brag or, you know, be meta or whatever the hell, that this podcast is like, we're, we're never serious, except for very specific times, like, um, uh, Bo Paul, stuff like that. And it's just like, oh, here's, here's someone who like, has like, deep in, like in-depth knowledge of nuclear weapons, and we're going to derail that by talking about booing hoagies. And you're going to sit there and listen to it, you ungrateful hogs. Eat your slop.

• 2:12:48Speaker 02

  That's why I brought this here, is it's funny as hell. That's why. Like, all of this is funny as hell, no matter how horribly the people around it died, unfortunately. It's, it's.

• 2:12:59Speaker 03

  I mean, that's the only way you keep living, right?

• 2:13:01Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 2:13:02Speaker 02

  Anyway.

• 2:13:03Justin Roczniak?

  A nuclear weapons program is an inherently funny thing.

• 2:13:07Liam McAnderson?

  Hey, what if we, what if we made a portable son and dropped it out of an aircraft? That would be pretty good, right? All right. See you in the morning.

• 2:13:16Speaker 02

  There are two people on Blue Sky, and if, if you know these people, you'll know who I'm talking about. They're going to be screaming that we made fun of this and didn't take it seriously. I'm so ready for their comments.

• 2:13:28Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm pretty sure that like, that's kind of the point of the podcast though, isn't it?

• 2:13:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, but because it's nuclear weapons.

• 2:13:34Speaker 03

  I mean, if you notice, a lot of the episodes that I've tried to write in my career, well, there's your problem, is, uh. You know, I try to pick ones that are at least either we can pick somebody to be really mad at, or they're very low fatality. But I do kind of feel like the vibe of the show is, hey, a bunch of people died. We're gonna try to laugh about it because living is horror.

• 2:13:56Speaker 02

  Yes. Yeah. Speaking of horror, we're on to the bad one, the worst one.

• 2:14:01Liam McAnderson?

  Okay, great.

• 2:14:01Speaker 02

  The scary one. Uh, so we're on to the B-52 that had wet wings. Now, wet wings.

• 2:14:08Liam McAnderson?

  Shit is so. Does that say bad fuel cells between ribs?

• 2:14:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:14:13Liam McAnderson?

  Okay, alright.

• 2:14:14Speaker 02

  So that's, that's when they were putting rubberized filling of the wings to get as much fucking fuel as you could physically get in this plane. So like.

• 2:14:25Liam McAnderson?

  Sounds good. This thing goes down, it's, it's, it's lighting up like a Zippo is what I'm hearing.

• 2:14:29Speaker 02

  Wait, well, wing fuel is like totally normal, but like this isn't putting in steel tanks. This is like literally putting it anywhere you can fucking fit it.

• 2:14:40Liam McAnderson?

  Okay, that sounds terrific.

• 2:14:41Speaker 02

  That's the best way I can put it. Like, again, yelled me airplane people.

• 2:14:45Justin Roczniak?

  Bunch of grocery bags full of gasoline and the wings, you know.

• 2:14:49Liam McAnderson?

  Actually about my Thursday night hopping.

• 2:14:51Speaker 03

  The always sunny episode where they fill up the back of the land rover with air cans full of gas.

• 2:14:57Speaker 02

  Yes, this is strategic air command's version of that.

• 2:15:02Speaker 02

  So in 1961, right before Chrome Dome started, they were doing qualifying flights for, for crews to get qualified to do the long trips out, long trips back, right? Including aerial refueling, excuse me. So we have a, an air, uh, B-52 that takes off midnight of January 1961, on the 23rd, leading into the 24th, right? And it leaves Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, takes off and goes north to Wellington, North Carolina, which is where it's going to meet up with a tanker that's, that's orbiting, waiting for them, and refuel for the first time, and then it's going to start its trek over the ocean, right? While they're refueling in the middle of the night, the, the boom operator from the KC-135 looks down

• 2:15:46Speaker 02

  and sees the right wing is like. Spewing fuel out the side.

• 2:15:51Liam McAnderson?

  Oh.

• 2:15:52Speaker 02

  Right around the engine pylon, between the engine pylon and the end of the wing, it's just like all over and spreading. So they tanker tells them like, you guys, you guys need to abort and go. And on the gauge, it was like thirty seven thousand gallons in three minutes they lost.

• 2:16:12Liam McAnderson?

  Oh dear.

• 2:16:12Speaker 02

  To just like, you know, like taking your V eight car and stepping on the gas and just watching the fuel gauge go like.

• 2:16:19Liam McAnderson?

  I've seen my G T I a few times. Yeah.

• 2:16:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, so they, obviously the crew's like, huh, where's all this fuel going? Uh, let's, let's check, let's inspect the plane. So they send the, uh, they send the, the navigator bombardier back down into the hold and where the bombs are. And not only is where, okay, sorry, let me back up and get into ahead of myself. To get there, you open a hatch and you go into the wheel well of the plane. So if the wheel wells open, you fall out the plane, but you can't do that. It has to be closed. Then you climb over the landing gear and climb into the bomb bay to get to the bomb bay. When he climbs into the bomb bay, it's full of fuel. When he climbs into the wheel well, it's full of fuel. So he climbs back into the cockpit and goes, hey, guys, we're fucked.

• 2:17:05Speaker 02

  There's a lot of fuel back there. We need to like kill every, like shut all the electronics off on this plane, right? So they do, they start turning everything off. They start flying back to Seymour Johnson after being told to orbit and lose as much fuel as they can before they land. So if it's a crash, it's not horrible, horrible. Well, it gets so bad that the, the base commander is like, fuck it, just get back here before you go down, right? They're, they're just over Pharaoh, North Carolina. And all of a sudden, the, the plane starts going in a horizontal spin. Next slide, please.

• 2:17:37Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, oh geez.

• 2:17:39Speaker 02

  So it's, it's in a horizontal spin, you know, it kind of going ass over tea kettle sideways, you know? So the forces are in play now as it spins. The pilot ejects, the co-pilot ejects, the evaluator goes, or sorry, I mean, I'm starting to get way too ahead of myself. I apologize.

• 2:17:59Liam McAnderson?

  That's all good.

• 2:18:00Speaker 02

  Pilot goes up out the top, co-pilot goes out up the top with ejection seats, right? By the diagram. The evaluator seat is in the middle of those two, and that's where Lieutenant Adam Matox is. He becomes important later. He's the third pilot for these chromedome missions. You had to have three, so one could take a break as they went through. He doesn't have an ejection seat.

• 2:18:22Liam McAnderson?

  So he just what? Climbs out?

• 2:18:23Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 2:18:24Liam McAnderson?

  What?

• 2:18:25Speaker 02

  That is exactly what they're expected to do.

• 2:18:30Liam McAnderson?

  Don't look to God, let's do this.

• 2:18:31Speaker 02

  As the plane's spinning, he goes for the hatch and gets thrown out it by the forces.

• 2:18:38Liam McAnderson?

  Oh.

• 2:18:39Speaker 02

  The...

• 2:18:41Liam McAnderson?

  Fucking no thanks.

• 2:18:42Speaker 02

  The electronic warfare officers behind them and facing backwards, they go up out up the top and both of them go out the top and then the gunner goes out the top because they're back facing backwards, right? Going down, you have the radar navigator and the navigator bombardier. They're in the two front seats and then in the back you have a rider. So if you're like just the guy getting shuttled somewhere, you're in the back sitting on a jump seat that's above the hatch.

• 2:19:11Speaker 03

  I adore.

• 2:19:12Speaker 02

  You climb into the...

• 2:19:13Speaker 03

  I adore the idea they have a jump seat, a nuclear bomb equipped to be 52.

• 2:19:18Speaker 02

  Well, it's over the hatch to get out of the plane.

• 2:19:21Liam McAnderson?

  Give this guy a real seat.

• 2:19:23Speaker 03

  The idea of being like, oh my God, I'm waiting standby at the fucking air force base. So you get aboard this nuclear bomb equipped B-52 is insane.

• 2:19:34Speaker 02

  No one's gonna stop us. So... I'm getting priority landing. So the navigator and bombardier eject, their ejection seats go down. So if they're like on a runway and they have to eject, they're fucked. They get shot into the ground. But in the air, they go down and then this poor bastard has to climb his way forward and crawl out and go out under the plane. It's great, isn't it? So the gutter never ejects and it's the suspicion per the one book I read was he had been in other accidents and he probably had PTSD kick in. Yeah, unfortunately. And then the radar navigator that goes down broke

• 2:20:17Speaker 02

  his neck as he came out of the plane. So he was found in a tree parachute into the tree. The guy in the in the jump seat never made it out of the plane. He was found in the wreckage. Maddox, the guy that made it that crawled out the top thinks because of the way the plane was spinning, this guy got sucked back in and pushed up against the ceiling of the plane. Horrible scene, horrible. But that's all important for the next part. Next slide, please. So it's January 24th, 1235 a.m. Plane spreads out around Pharaoh, North Carolina, just like pieces shatter everywhere. The the body comes down in cartwheels when it hits the ground because of the weight because it had been spinning the whole way down, right?

• 2:21:00Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 2:21:00Speaker 02

  These, the guys that make it out land and land in farm fields and all around this thing. And because they're near base, but had no radio because they shut everything off, the base doesn't know they crashed. So now I have to find a phone or get back to base to tell them that there's been an accident. So

• 2:21:20Justin Roczniak?

  Hey, yeah, I, you know, you saw me on the plane. Um, no, yeah, it's, uh, yeah, we crashed the plane. I'm sorry. You won't get mad at me?

• 2:21:31Speaker 02

  It's worse.

• 2:21:32Liam McAnderson?

  It's bad news. It's in pieces. Good news, I am not.

• 2:21:35Speaker 02

  It's so much worse than that. So Maddox and Lieutenant Rar, or I'm sorry, Captain Rar.

• 2:21:43Justin Roczniak?

  I'll be right back.

• 2:21:44Speaker 02

  Ah, you're gonna miss the best part. So they they get out, they get found, right? They get rides back to the base to the front gate. Once they get to the front gate, nobody has told the base that something happened, right? Oh, no, cuz they couldn't. Cuz they couldn't. So they get to the gate, get dropped off. Maddox is black. Oh, dear. Maddox is an African American. We're in segregation, North Carolina. We're in segregation, North Carolina in nineteen sixty-one. He walks up in an Air Force uniform, carrying his parachute and and his helmet. And instead of, hey, man, are you OK? What the hell happened?

• 2:22:27Speaker 02

  He gets arrested by base police. Wow.

• 2:22:31Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:22:32Speaker 02

  For stealing a parachute. What?

• 2:22:35Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, God.

• 2:22:36Speaker 02

  Meanwhile, he's like, our plane went south. We're a nuclear bomber.

• 2:22:44Speaker 02

  What? What? You're not seeing?

• 2:22:48Speaker 02

  I'm like covered in shit from this. I I literally what? Victoria, to catch you up. Do you see the burning wreckage behind me, dickhead? Maddox is an African American man who gets a ride back to base and gets arrested by ba- base police.

• 2:23:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, that tracks.

• 2:23:06Speaker 02

  For stealing his parachute. Yeah.

• 2:23:08Justin Roczniak?

  I you can only imagine what what the the precise phrasing that the MPs used.

• 2:23:15Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:23:16Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:23:17Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. So Raridan shows up in the same way. He gets a ride back.

• 2:23:22Speaker 03

  Evil? Dating so?

• 2:23:24Speaker 02

  Raridan gets a ride back. He shows up.

• 2:23:27Justin Roczniak?

  But look, ACAB includes MPs.

• 2:23:33Speaker 02

  So Raridan gets a ride back. He shows up and they start doing the same shit to him. He is not African American. He is white. They still don't fucking believe either of them. And they're both screaming out like.

• 2:23:45Justin Roczniak?

  You saying you fell out of a flying machine?

• 2:23:52Speaker 02

  So like they're like running through.

• 2:23:53Justin Roczniak?

  Is that what your big napkin is from?

• 2:23:56Speaker 02

  They're like running through everything like dude, dude, it's I swear to God, call the tower and they don't again, they're like, we're not calling the tower. You guys like, no, call the tower. And then he gives them the go code that would have been their code to fly and go bomb Russia. Like tell the tower this, they will believe you. He does. They get let in almost instantly. Tower has that moment of like, oh, what happened? And the worst part from everything I've read, they could actually see, because it's night, like light from the fire in Pharaoh. Cause it was so big. So that happens, right?

• 2:24:36Speaker 02

  Meanwhile, all of the volunteer fire departments and in like the whole area of Goldsboro, Pharaoh, et cetera, all start coming out because big plane there. They start going through the wreckage because they're afraid somebody's in it. There was, but they obviously didn't make it. One volunteer fire department sees a parachute in a tree and runs up to it, looks around, doesn't see anybody and leaves. That parachute wasn't attached to a person.

• 2:25:04Speaker 02

  Next slide please. Jesus Christ almighty. So this is the mark 39 mod two nuclear bomb. It is a contact detonation bomb, same thing where it's the yellow nose plate that crushes and it goes off. It cannot go off any other way as a yield of 3.8 megatons, which, you know, big bow, very, very, very big bow. If this went off in Goldsboro, fallout would be all the way to DC and Philadelphia with prevailing winds. On the nose.

• 2:25:35Justin Roczniak?

  Sounds about right.

• 2:25:36Speaker 02

  Painted on the nose, it says reject if dented or deformed because of the contact use. Cause if you are, the parachute opens, it would just go off.

• 2:25:48Justin Roczniak?

  Attach orbiter here, no black side down.

• 2:25:54Speaker 02

  So next slide.

• 2:25:55Justin Roczniak?

  Please note, do not do this.

• 2:25:59Speaker 02

  All right. So this is the procedures this thing has to do to, to go off. When you want to drop it, there's, this is before like permission of action links and any kind of like sync code from bases. This is literally just the aircraft commander and the bombardier throw a couple of switches. You flip the T380 readiness switch, which turn, which is what the captain does. That tells the bombardier, he can turn on his switch, which is the T249. That's the one in the left-hand bottom corner, right? Turn the power on, you turn it to air or ground, bomb's ready, right?

• 2:26:38Speaker 03

  Could you imagine the intrusive thoughts you would have?

• 2:26:41Justin Roczniak?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:26:42Speaker 03

  As that guy constantly?

• 2:26:45Speaker 02

  Well, and so you have to do that to electrically arm the bomb. Then there's a rod, rods in the bomb that you have to pull a lanyard from the cockpit and it pulls arming rods out. So that's your like safe inside the bomb bay. With those in, it won't even think about turning power on or anything else. That's on a lanyard, I remind you. After that, when it falls, when it's released from the bomb bay, the parachute has to be deployed. So you have a drogue parachute and then a big hundred foot big parachute. That pulls out the back and that starts arming everything else in the bomb. So it has a barometric switch that confirms that it's out of the plane and dropping. It has a timer to make sure that you have enough time to get the

• 2:27:29Speaker 02

  fuck away, which is why there's a parachute there. So it gives the time for the plane to get away. And then it's got a thermal battery that turns on and starts charging the X unit, which I said earlier was the flashbulb. And then when that nose is crushed, off it goes, right?

• 2:27:45Justin Roczniak?

  Right. I, I, I did want to note just for a second here. Um, I appreciate that all the, the font on this unit here is it's all Futura. I bet you like that, you fucking nerd. It's wonderful. Um, yeah. I like a nice geometric font. It's the same one we put on the moon.

• 2:28:06Speaker 02

  God, I love the military.

• 2:28:08Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:28:10Speaker 02

  So in the upper left corner is the MC 772 arm safe switch. This is actually what's in the bomb and it's a rotating, uh, what's it called? It's a dynamo, so it turns safe arm, right? And shows you the little flag in the window.

• 2:28:28Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, good.

• 2:28:28Speaker 02

  If it turns and the red's facing the window, that bomb is ready to go and just needs the falling procedure to happen, right?

• 2:28:38Justin Roczniak?

  This means the bomb is Scandinavian air service. That's not a, that's not a good joke. Don't acknowledge that one. Excuse me. I, I just saw that and I immediately, that went through my brain and I had to say it.

• 2:28:51Speaker 02

  Had to say it.

• 2:28:52Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, no, but it's, yeah.

• 2:28:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:28:54Speaker 03

  Next slide.

• 2:28:54Speaker 03

  Three hours in, all jokes are funny.

• 2:28:56Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, it doesn't matter anymore, man.

• 2:28:58Speaker 02

  We're so close.

• 2:29:00Liam McAnderson?

  No, we're not, you fucking liar.

• 2:29:01Speaker 03

  No, we're not. What are you talking about? You wrote the slide text.

• 2:29:05Speaker 02

  I know where we are. All right.

• 2:29:08Speaker 03

  Hold over.

• 2:29:08Speaker 02

  Next slide.

• 2:29:12Speaker 02

  So bomb two falls out of the plane as it's spinning. It gets like yeeted out, like shot out the side. The parachute doesn't deploy. It just takes off and hits the ground as hard as it can, right?

• 2:29:27Justin Roczniak?

  Right.

• 2:29:28Speaker 02

  Drills a crater 25 feet down. When the bomb squad came out, they were flown out from Wright Patterson Air Force Base, Dayton, Ohio, where I used to work. Jack Revel is like the, the main technician. He's 25 years old and he arrives on scene. They, they realize like it's buried, buried. So they have to start calling in construction crews to help dig it out. They have to dig like a hundred foot wide crater and then kept going down. They go down 25 feet and they find the parachute pack and the primary. That's the, the part that initiates thermonuclear explosion. With it is the arm safe switch.

• 2:30:11Speaker 02

  And to quote the man himself, they pull the switch out and his sergeant that's digging says, Lieutenant, we found the arm safe switch. He goes, great. And the, the sergeant goes, not great. It's on arm.

• 2:30:25Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 2:30:27Justin Roczniak?

  Should've just covered it back up and abandoned the area, you know?

• 2:30:32Speaker 02

  Just kick some dirt on it like that, that, that, that, that, that.

• 2:30:36Justin Roczniak?

  No longer our problem.

• 2:30:37Speaker 02

  You gotta remember with the parachute not out and the, uh, the parachute not out, nothing else happened. So in theory it should be okay. What actually happened was because of all the forces, it spun that little dial and didn't actually activate the bomb. And there's no electrical signal. So it just looked like it was unarmed.

• 2:30:58Speaker 03

  Oh, well, in that case, we can all laugh about it.

• 2:31:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:31:00Justin Roczniak?

  It just looked like it was armed. It's not, it's fine. Don't worry about it.

• 2:31:03Speaker 02

  He said it's funny in, in the aftermath.

• 2:31:06Speaker 03

  Prank.

• 2:31:08Justin Roczniak?

  Just a prank, bro.

• 2:31:09Speaker 02

  God sexual YouTube face.

• 2:31:14Speaker 02

  So they found the primary, right? They haul it out. Next slide, please. But they can't get the secondary because it drilled itself down a hundred and eighty feet estimate. The water table's really high here, so they keep trying to dig for it. And it just fills with water. They try and pump it out, turns to mud. It's, it's bad, right? So what does the air force do? Bury it.

• 2:31:36Justin Roczniak?

  Hell yeah, my problem.

• 2:31:38Speaker 02

  Cover it all back up. We'll just get a lease on the land and they did. For ninety-nine years at a time, this two hundred and fifty foot piece of property is the air force's problem and not yours.

• 2:31:50Justin Roczniak?

  At thirty, forty-five, Big Daddy's Road.

• 2:31:57Speaker 02

  I love the South.

• 2:32:00Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, that's, that's, uh.

• 2:32:02Speaker 02

  Those cheerwine ass North Carolina barbecues, motherfuckers.

• 2:32:08Justin Roczniak?

  You know, that's, uh, it's up there with Big Daddy's Liquor Barn.

• 2:32:11Speaker 02

  Big Daddy's Liquor Barn, yeah.

• 2:32:12Justin Roczniak?

  Kentucky.

• 2:32:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a great start.

• 2:32:14Justin Roczniak?

  That was, that was a good story, yeah.

• 2:32:16Speaker 02

  I'm just trying to piss off my wife at this point. I make fun of her for shit like this all the time. Um. So the Air Force leases the property, but like there's still a big uranium piece of metal drilled down into the ground in probably the water table. And they say they check on it, but nobody ever sees them out there drilling.

• 2:32:39Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, they fucking don't, bud.

• 2:32:42Speaker 02

  So that's, that's bomb two.

• 2:32:43Speaker 03

  Well, the US in all of its kind of like Eagle Tarion beliefs. It doesn't care about the US. So just like it doesn't care about the global. So, so, you know.

• 2:32:54Justin Roczniak?

  This is true.

• 2:32:55Speaker 02

  Fuck it. That's fine. Well, it's not like it could be a nuclear explosion. It'd just be a nuclear accident. It'll be fine.

• 2:33:01Speaker 03

  I mean, like, come on. I grew up drinking Teflon in my water supply and look at how normal and well adjusted I am. I am the picture of health.

• 2:33:10Justin Roczniak?

  Look.

• 2:33:11Speaker 02

  You're better than me.

• 2:33:12Justin Roczniak?

  She says wiping her nose. It's got flurrying in it.

• 2:33:15Speaker 03

  There's cat hair all over it.

• 2:33:16Justin Roczniak?

  Fucking with your system, you would notice.

• 2:33:19Speaker 03

  Because we have 55 degree weather in Seattle, it is shedding season. I am, everything is coated in it currently, including my nose.

• 2:33:28Speaker 02

  Okay. Next slide. Bomb one. This is the bad one. So that parachute those guys found was attached to bomb one. And if you remember the, the diagram, the parachute pulls and the rods pull out. The only thing stopping this thing from going off is the arm safe switch, right? And I included the table from Wikipedia, just to like drill, drive it home. The arming wires were pulled, the pulse generator activated, the explosive actuator fired. That's what kicks the parachute out. The timer started and ran down all 42 seconds. The differential presser switch, the barometric, the barometric switch fired.

• 2:34:11Speaker 02

  The low voltage batter, thermal battery activated, the high voltage thermal battery activated. The rotary safing switch did not get operated. The X unit did not charge, but the nose crystals crushed. So the only thing that kept this bomb from going off was a 28 volt signal.

• 2:34:32Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 2:34:32Liam McAnderson?

  Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

• 2:34:36Speaker 02

  In a crashing plane that's falling apart, 28 volts. It could have been from anywhere. If those wires got crossed, 28 volts and this bastard would have second touched the ground.

• 2:34:49Liam McAnderson?

  God damn.

• 2:34:51Speaker 02

  Mm hmm. So you want to know?

• 2:34:52Justin Roczniak?

  I love nuclear weapons.

• 2:34:55Liam McAnderson?

  I wouldn't.

• 2:34:55Speaker 02

  So, yeah, everybody freaks out about the one in the ground and then they and then the the EOD saw this and they're like, wait a minute. When they open it up, we got really close then. Yes, we did, sir. But you know what's even scarier?

• 2:35:13Liam McAnderson?

  I don't like that.

• 2:35:14Speaker 02

  Next slide, please.

• 2:35:18Speaker 02

  One year after this happened, they pulled my-

• 2:35:21Justin Roczniak?

  We failed to learn our lesson. Oh, we sure did, bud, bro.

• 2:35:25Speaker 02

  They pull these Mark 28 bombs out of the bomb bay of a B-52. They're very similar in design. They're actually a little worse, but that's not the point. They use the same armed safe switch and and circuits because it's B-52, right? Pull them out, go to put them in storage and one of the techs look at them and they're all armed. They're all ready to go.

• 2:35:48Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, why'd you put them on the plane otherwise?

• 2:35:50Speaker 02

  Not like they're like, if you drop them off the plane, it'll they'll go off. But don't do that. Well, don't do that. Yeah. What had happened?

• 2:35:59Justin Roczniak?

  It's like the fucking, what is it? The the the Fremen with the knife, you know, you gotta you gotta draw blood before you put it back in the sheet.

• 2:36:09Speaker 02

  Well, what had happened was a nut fell out of the plane, fell down onto the conduit and shorted the two wires from that safety switch and armed all four bombs.

• 2:36:21Speaker 02

  Had that have happened in the previous plane, Goldsboro, North Carolina would be gone. Washington DC would be having a lot of problems right now. To this day, and not the kind we're dealing with.

• 2:36:35Justin Roczniak?

  The radioactive swamp.

• 2:36:36Speaker 02

  Destroyed the east wing of the White House?

• 2:36:38Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Oh, my God.

• 2:36:41Speaker 02

  So Goldsboro is in the past, right? In 1960.

• 2:36:46Speaker 03

  Presumably it's in the South.

• 2:36:50Speaker 02

  So in 1966, these Mark 28 warheads become the focus of an accident in Pallo Morez, Spain. I can't say it right. I was anyway, that is another time. It is a the worst we've ever done to another country nuclear wise, except for next slide, please. Greenland.

• 2:37:15Justin Roczniak?

  Canada.

• 2:37:16Speaker 02

  Greenland.

• 2:37:17Justin Roczniak?

  Ah, yeah.

• 2:37:19Speaker 03

  I mean, I still feel like there was one other time that we did something worse to another country in a nuclear fashion, but you know.

• 2:37:24Justin Roczniak?

  Shut up.

• 2:37:28Speaker 02

  Good point.

• 2:37:32Speaker 02

  Spreading wise, spreading material.

• 2:37:34Justin Roczniak?

  Time it was, this is the first time it was accident.

• 2:37:37Speaker 02

  Accident. That's the way to put it. Yes.

• 2:37:41Speaker 02

  Three hours in, I'm doing my best here.

• 2:37:44Liam McAnderson?

  You're doing fine, Scooter.

• 2:37:45Speaker 02

  So this is another, not today, but we accidentally made bombed Greenland.

• 2:37:53Liam McAnderson?

  Well, no.

• 2:37:55Speaker 02

  I figure this is a good, a good for the Greenland episode that's going to have to happen one day because of current events. But.

• 2:38:03Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I gotta, I gotta see if Deacon Corpi is available.

• 2:38:07Speaker 02

  That would be so good.

• 2:38:08Liam McAnderson?

  That would rule.

• 2:38:11Speaker 02

  But, but the point is, is we had a chrome dome mission that would go up to Greenland and fly around Thule Air Base in Greenland. And that was to make sure that Thule Air Base, which is where our early warning system was for missiles, wasn't evaporated and the bomber could call back and say, hey, it's fine if like the power went out or, you know, some phone lines went down or something. So we knew we weren't starting nuclear war yet. The problem with that is, is what happens if the bomber crashes into the airbase?

• 2:38:45Liam McAnderson?

  I guess we're hosts.

• 2:38:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, that is a problem. You got me there.

• 2:38:49Justin Roczniak?

  And hadn't thought about that one.

• 2:38:52Speaker 02

  We got really close to that, like really close with those same bombs from the last slide. But again, that's, that's for a future episode. That, that could be its own thing.

• 2:39:03Justin Roczniak?

  It goes to show the resilience of the Greenlandic people that we could crash a bomber full of nuclear weapons into their island. And um.

• 2:39:13Liam McAnderson?

  I still kinda wanna be friends with those.

• 2:39:15Justin Roczniak?

  Part of the United States.

• 2:39:16Speaker 02

  They were really fucking pissed.

• 2:39:20Speaker 02

  Cause we weren't.

• 2:39:20Speaker 03

  You know, that's fair, actually.

• 2:39:22Speaker 02

  We weren't supposed to be flying planes over them at all. So oops, loaded nuclear planes, but yes.

• 2:39:30Speaker 02

  Next slide.

• 2:39:32Speaker 03

  I like how this, that, that plane departed from Minot, Minot. I don't know how it's pronounced again.

• 2:39:38Justin Roczniak?

  I.

• 2:39:39Speaker 03

  The place I have been through there because the, I think it's the Amtrak Empire Builder goes through there.

• 2:39:45Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 2:39:45Speaker 03

  And it's like the town where nothing happens. It's like where you get sent if you're in like air force hell.

• 2:39:50Speaker 02

  Yes. Yeah, Minot's a place. So there's one more broken arrow after Thule. Thule is, kills Operation Chrome Dome. There is no more airborne alert after that. And even though we have a nuclear weapon buildup, it's mainly focused on missiles and not on bombers. Except we came up with the cruise missile. And the cruise missile was a standoff weapon. So the B-52, which there's no chance in hell it get past radar and SAM missile, surface air missiles. This is a standoff weapon. So they can shoot the bomb into them, low altitude, eliminate them, and then keep flying into, into country. And then start shooting standoff weapons at their target. We came up with.

• 2:40:32Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, we, we, we converted Russia to capitalism and then we decided, well, we still have to like be able to bomb them though, you know?

• 2:40:39Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, just in case. We'll get too comfy with that Burger King.

• 2:40:42Speaker 02

  Most of these weapon systems, like the latest.

• 2:40:45Speaker 03

  What if the Pizza Hut falls?

• 2:40:47Justin Roczniak?

  Oh shit.

• 2:40:50Speaker 02

  Like the latest weapon systems until Sentinel comes out, it was like, everything was like built in the eighties and it has just been modded since. There's not really been a lot that's like original since then, which is not great. Um, including this.

• 2:41:06Justin Roczniak?

  Watch out if Yeltsin sobers up, you know?

• 2:41:11Speaker 02

  So it's not a broken arrow, but it's pretty damn close in 2007 in August. A B-52 was loaded with what was supposed to be training warheads, left out on the runway, and then flew over the United States to Barksdale Air Force Base. It was loaded, it had 12 AGM-129 cruise missiles, which are like stealth cruise missiles, six of which, which were loaded on a pylon, but had, instead of having training warheads in them, had W-80 dial-a-yield nuclear warheads. The problem was the warheads, the warheads built for training were stored in the same

• 2:41:54Speaker 02

  where, the same bunker as the warheads that were live.

• 2:41:58Speaker 03

  This is the most Bush-era problem that you could possibly create. This feels like a Colbert Report bit.

• 2:42:05Speaker 02

  This, this got out by like pure chance. There could be hundreds of these incidents that just never got out. But this is the one that like completely wrecked the Air Force and created the Air Force Global Strike Command.

• 2:42:18Justin Roczniak?

  You gotta watch out, there could have been like a bunch of Albertan separatists, you know, ready to receive those missiles when they get.

• 2:42:26Speaker 02

  Any idiot could have just gone out there and fucked with them. Like, it was just at the end of the runway. Like, they didn't have any guards, so like a fucking truck could have like accidentally driven into the plane and caused a radiological incident, anything.

• 2:42:41Speaker 02

  But like.

• 2:42:42Speaker 03

  This is a reminder to all of our listeners, if you see a B-52 sitting at the end of the runway unattended, you should go check it out.

• 2:42:48Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, they don't tell you, they don't tell you that the B-52s at the Air Force Base are free, you could take them home.

• 2:42:55Speaker 02

  If they're sitting on the Christmas tree, you can, you can just fly one out of there. Cartridge, start that bitch and go.

• 2:43:01Justin Roczniak?

  That's public property, that means it belongs to you.

• 2:43:06Speaker 02

  It's pretty much what they do. They have cartridges, explosive cartridges that spin the engines up instantly. It's great.

• 2:43:13Speaker 03

  Ah, yes, the aviation equivalent of hitting the starter with a hammer.

• 2:43:16Speaker 02

  Yes. So.

• 2:43:19Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, we could probably steal a B-52, yeah.

• 2:43:21Speaker 02

  It can still happen. Like, it's, this isn't gone away because the Cold War's gone away. It's dead in 2007, it's probably since, but, um, possible. You never know. Until we can make all nuclear weapons disappear, or at least calm the fuck down with them any day, but.

• 2:43:37Speaker 03

  Live show idea, actually, if you're, if you're receptive to it. Live show from a B-52 armed with nuclear missiles.

• 2:43:44Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah, actually, that'd be, that'd be a lot of fun. Hey, are you in the Air Force? Leak to us.

• 2:43:53Speaker 02

  So.

• 2:43:54Speaker 03

  You think Clearview would let us do that on the sign?

• 2:43:57Justin Roczniak?

  No.

• 2:43:59Justin Roczniak?

  Fuckers.

• 2:44:00Speaker 02

  So there's one more incident that we haven't talked about. Next slide, please.

• 2:44:05Justin Roczniak?

  This, this is, this is, um, the craziest one, and it deserves its own episode. That's why we're not talking about it.

• 2:44:12Speaker 02

  It's the last broken arrow officially reported. It was the only one that had an incident with a missile that's in any of the reports. Like, there's little ones with missiles, but it's not a broken arrow. It's Ben Spears. The only time we fucked one so hard that we lost the warhead. Um, happened in Damascus, Arkansas, and we'll have to talk about it in another episode, and I.

• 2:44:35Justin Roczniak?

  Folks.

• 2:44:36Speaker 02

  I only mentioned.

• 2:44:37Justin Roczniak?

  Drop the socket.

• 2:44:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, don't drop the socket. I only mention it because I know everyone would lose their minds if we didn't. We'll save it for another day.

• 2:44:48Speaker 02

  There we go. Broken arrows, a little teaser.

• 2:44:51Justin Roczniak?

  What, what, what did we learn about nuclear weapons? Oh, my God.

• 2:44:56Speaker 03

  I learned that this podcast is very difficult to do without November on it.

• 2:45:00Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, thanks, fuck ass.

• 2:45:04Speaker 02

  I

• 2:45:05Justin Roczniak?

  I

• 2:45:06Speaker 03

  Am I the fuck ass?

• 2:45:07Liam McAnderson?

  Are you the fuck ass? I don't know.

• 2:45:09Justin Roczniak?

  I don't know.

• 2:45:10Speaker 02

  This is one that that she's gone hopefully be upset she missed because you know, Air Force.

• 2:45:15Speaker 03

  I don't want her to be upset.

• 2:45:16Liam McAnderson?

  I want her to be upset.

• 2:45:17Speaker 02

  Not like upset, upset, just like.

• 2:45:20Liam McAnderson?

  Kind of upset. Yeah, I got you.

• 2:45:21Speaker 02

  You know, I mean.

• 2:45:23Justin Roczniak?

  I learned that nuclear weapons are a good idea, which is beneficial to society. And God bless America. You know, I love my country.

• 2:45:36Liam McAnderson?

  Do you see by the dawn's early light? What so proudly we have from the twilight's last. Who's rock drives?

• 2:45:55Liam McAnderson?

  All right, that's it.

• 2:45:56Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:45:56Liam McAnderson?

  Safety third.

• 2:45:57Justin Roczniak?

  Bombs bursting in air. That's right. It's an air burst.

• 2:46:05Justin Roczniak?

  All right. Yeah. I mean, now since November's gone, we can confidently say God bless America.

• 2:46:14Speaker 03

  No, that's why you have me here.

• 2:46:17Speaker 03

  That's how I keep from getting away with it.

• 2:46:22Speaker 03

  I mean, one staunchly anti-American trans event on this podcast at all times. To turn the keys to begin the podcast.

• 2:46:30Speaker 02

  Oh, I get I get it.

• 2:46:33Justin Roczniak?

  We have a segment on this podcast called.

• 2:46:35Speaker 02

  Oh, shit.

• 2:46:36Justin Roczniak?

  Safety third.

• 2:46:42Justin Roczniak?

  Dear Justin, November, yay, Liam, Victoria, and maybe guest.

• 2:46:48Liam McAnderson?

  Yes.

• 2:46:50Speaker 02

  Maybe not.

• 2:46:50Justin Roczniak?

  Maybe not. As a shop teacher who paid his. As a shop teacher who paid his dues in industry, starting at 15, working in a machine shop full of Vietnam vets and Gen Xers. I have more safety third stories than I can count on my 10 fingers.

• 2:47:10Speaker 02

  At least they're all there, buddy.

• 2:47:12Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I was about to say, surprise, you still got all 10.

• 2:47:16Justin Roczniak?

  This one, however, focuses on my time in college, specifically one near where Liam grew up.

• 2:47:22Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 2:47:23Justin Roczniak?

  In training to become a shop teacher, it is essential to become a jack of all trades and very much a master of none during your college years. The coursework is so varied that it's difficult to get in depth on a lot of the equipment and processes you learn. You are flying by the seat of your pants a lot of the time. One morning might be pouring molten bronze while hoping you don't cause a molten metal explosion somehow with an afternoon figuring out how to incorporate an ultrasonic sensor into a product designed to assist someone with a disability and inhaling soldering fumes because dorms aren't very well ventilated.

• 2:48:09Speaker 02

  All right, go buddy.

• 2:48:10Justin Roczniak?

  This particular incident focuses on one of the 100 level courses I took my freshman year. The course was designed to get you comfortable in the woods and ceramics labs. It's a, it's a fun, the wood lab, I, that's very funny.

• 2:48:26Justin Roczniak?

  It's not a wood shop, the wood lab. It consisted of many small projects, so the time in the lab training on all of the multi-step processes was very rushed and students had to rely on each other to understand what the hell was going on.

• 2:48:42Speaker 02

  Prepping them for real life.

• 2:48:43Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. My background was in metalwork, so I was out of my element, but a few of us 19-year-olds can figure this shit out, right?

• 2:48:51Speaker 02

  Oh, boy.

• 2:48:53Justin Roczniak?

  One cold February evening, I was in the ceramics lab having gotten a 10-minute tutorial on how to make an RTV or room temperature vulcanizing rubber mold of a part of our choosing, and then to create a ceramic mold investment cast at a later date. Um, I'm not sure what that means. Someone who knows about this probably does. I unmolded the ring I had cast into the RTV, that's the room temperature vulcanizing rubber mold, by carefully splitting it with the razor knife. Then replace the RTV mold into its PVC pipe housing. PVC pipe, that's like a plumbing pipe, right? The next steps, yeah, the next step seems so simple.

• 2:49:38Justin Roczniak?

  Fill the mold with jeweler's wax using a wax injector. See figure one. This is a scary device. It looks like something out of Doctor Who. It looks like a Doctor Who prop for like a much scarier device than what it is. But it's scary to begin with. Where was I? By using a wax injector, see figure one by placing the open end of the RTV against the brass nozzle and giving the injector a few seconds to fill the mold. This is usually a very low temperature and low pressure operation. The professor did not spend any more than five seconds discussing this machine and therefore had not told us any of the recommended injection pressures or temperatures, nor did it seem

• 2:50:23Justin Roczniak?

  like that was a concern. Monkey see, monkey do on this one. I walked up to the machine with all the confidence a college freshman shouldn't have. Yep. And pressed my mold up against the brass nozzle and bam, my whole world was hot and pink. I rushed to the bathroom to cool off my face and figure out what the fuck just happened. Upon removing my now 100% wax coated safety glasses, I saw in the mirror, I had been blasted by pink jeweler's wax from my chest up. I looked like an X-Train in Ghostbusters 2. I was just thinking that.

• 2:51:05Speaker 03

  Somebody said it to force them.

• 2:51:10Justin Roczniak?

  My face was almost fully covered. Some of it was in my mouth and a lot was stuck in my hair.

• 2:51:17Speaker 03

  Stand by my statement.

• 2:51:20Justin Roczniak?

  Upon return to the lab with just a few minor red marks and a lot of wax in my hair and clothes, I walked over to the machine where I saw the professor hastily adjusting the air regulator down, way down from where it was. Someone had jacked the air pressure so high that it had blown my entire RTV mold out of the PVC pipe housing, and the split in the mold directed the hot wax up at my face. Oh my god. From that point on, I didn't trust anyone to set a machine other than myself. Lesson here, demand proper training, and when in doubt, read the goddamn manual, kids.

• 2:52:03Justin Roczniak?

  I'm told my pink wax coated safety glasses are still on display as a safety lesson.

• 2:52:10Speaker 02

  Hell yeah, game mentioned in the briefing. There you go, buddy.

• 2:52:14Justin Roczniak?

  That's good that you're in the safety manual and you lived.

• 2:52:19Justin Roczniak?

  Thanks for all the laughs helping me to keep me level headed during these times. Reminders to keep my students safe through good practice. Hopefully, things will thaw soon. I saw a puddle today. It was amazing. Anyway. Sincerely, a proud union teacher. Alright, yeah, so check the pressure on, I'm still confused at what the thing does. Don't spray hot wax in your face, folks. That was safety third.

• 2:52:54Speaker 03

  Always check your machinery to make sure it's not set to force them.

• 2:52:58Speaker 02

  I had the exact same.

• 2:53:00Justin Roczniak?

  Unless you like that sort of thing. It was fun.

• 2:53:03Speaker 02

  I had the exact same thing happen to me with septic trucks. I totally get this guy's plight.

• 2:53:08Justin Roczniak?

  That's force, no, that's just spraying a lot of poop in your face.

• 2:53:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:53:12Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, that's not even like, I mean, I don't know, probably for some like Germans or something, that's a sex thing. We were talking about pee fetish earlier.

• 2:53:23Justin Roczniak?

  This is this is like a septic tank fetish. That's I don't know. I don't like that at all.

• 2:53:29Speaker 02

  No, it was awful. But yeah, no, I'm glad he survived.

• 2:53:33Justin Roczniak?

  Our next episode will be on Chernobyl. Does anybody have commercials before we go?

• 2:53:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, if you like cars, you should listen to Tran Girlismo, which is my podcast, my friend Jordan. And we're doing the, uh, boy, we sure like cars. Too bad about the society we built around them. And also the collapsing empire that makes us, we can't afford them.

• 2:53:51Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, it's a good podcast. You should go listen to it.

• 2:53:55Speaker 03

  Our first guest, which will be launching like later tonight after I upload it is November.

• 2:54:01Speaker 02

  Hell, yeah.

• 2:54:02Speaker 03

  If you missed November here, as you should have, you can go get more of her on Tran Girlismo. We talked about Jeffrey Epstein's Toyota Century, or lack thereof.

• 2:54:12Justin Roczniak?

  Lack thereof, yeah.

• 2:54:14Speaker 02

  Perfectly. I, I just have the fundraiser for Heather Polley, if you don't mind putting it in.

• 2:54:22Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah, I was gonna ask about that. Yeah, that's probably a good thing. She was a M-Track contributor. She is an M-Track conductor who got pretty fucked up on the job and had difficulty paying medical bills.

• 2:54:37Speaker 02

  Got fucked up on the job by a, by a passenger who attacked her, tried to fight her off. And she didn't have an assistant conductor. So she was on her own and that really put her down. So she's trying to get her, trying to deal with only having disability and get around all the physical therapy and trying to get back on the job. So I appreciate everybody who's donated and can, or at least share it. He's a good friend.

• 2:55:07Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, donate to that. That link is in the description.

• 2:55:10Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 2:55:10Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. Um, crap. Well, I guess, yeah, that was, that was a podcast. I don't know. I don't know how to end this. There's no November here. It's very confusing. Bye, everybody.

• 2:55:24Speaker 03

  Nova, we missed you.

• 2:55:25Justin Roczniak?

  We missed you, Nova.