Episode 178: The Bermuda Triangle

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00November Kelly?

  Oh, I like this. I like this art. This is very nice. This is quite Eldritch horror kind of, you know, like the board game.

• 0:05Justin Roczniak?

  I got it from the same place. I got a lot of stuff, which is Google Images. Well, actually, no, I got it from DuckDuckGo Images.

• 0:13November Kelly?

  Introducing image attribution for the first time in the history of the podcast. We will respect intellectual property in the sense that we'll put a little bar up that says we got this off of searching on DuckDuckGo.

• 0:24Justin Roczniak?

  It's educational use.

• 0:27Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, you filter by commercial use only just to like fuck with the system.

• 0:35Justin Roczniak?

  Okay, wait, is everything's going right? Oh, right. We need to do a sync pipe.

• 0:39November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 0:40Justin Roczniak?

  Three, two, one, mark. Okay, close enough.

• 0:45Justin Roczniak?

  All right, well, hello and welcome to Well, There's Your Problem. It's a podcast about engineering disasters with slides. I'm Justin Rosneck. I'm the person who's talking right now. My pronouns are he and him. Okay, go.

• 0:59November Kelly?

  I'm November Kelly. I'm the person who's talking now. My pronouns are she and her. Yay, Liam?

• 1:04Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:05November Kelly?

  Oh.

• 1:05Justin Roczniak?

  No.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  The guy who got real mad at me the last time I was on is gonna be real fucking pissed. He said, the first time I was ever hurt by a comet, said, will poopy pants ever finish a fucking sentence? Well, there, I just finished one, you fucking asshole.

• 1:22November Kelly?

  I love the podcast that gets legitimately like wounded by our comments.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  So fuck you. I'm Tom Paine. My pronouns are he/him. And just so you know, there is a power that I know that Nova has where you can be unpersoned. So you can be talking in the comments, be like, oh, I can't wait to make my latest latest comments on the YouTube page.

• 1:46November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:46Speaker 02

  No, they were never made.

• 1:48November Kelly?

  Not only can, not only does it-

• 1:50Justin Roczniak?

  You were never born.

• 1:50November Kelly?

  Remove the comments. They remove all of your comments you've ever made across this channel. You don't get a notification. They just go.

• 1:57Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:58November Kelly?

  You can keep talking, but you're talking into a void, much like the void that we see here.

• 2:03Justin Roczniak?

  I was about to say, what you see on the screen is a map with a spooky triangle on it.

• 2:09November Kelly?

  Hmm, it's bad map design.

• 2:11Justin Roczniak?

  Very spooky.

• 2:14Justin Roczniak?

  So, and this spooky triangle shouldn't be like that because it's basically just like every other piece of ocean out there, you know, extremely dangerous in all the normal ocean ways, but this one has been made spooky by popular culture because people like to say horrible things happened here and like half of them happened over here at Cape Hatteras.

• 2:36Speaker 02

  Or by the Azores.

• 2:38Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Today, we're going to talk about the Bermuda Triangle.

• 2:42November Kelly?

  Ooh.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  That's the production value.

• 2:49November Kelly?

  Yeah, I mean, we'll see, we'll see.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  I could just go over and start like hitting random keys on the piano until I get it right. The piano that I, that is now where I keep my Star Trek books.

• 3:00November Kelly?

  Hell, yeah.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  And then, yeah.

• 3:02Justin Roczniak?

  If we forget a Halloween episode, we'll just re-release this one.

• 3:05November Kelly?

  I think we can come up with a second spooky thing.

• 3:08Justin Roczniak?

  Ah, yeah, the North Atlantic rectangle.

• 3:11November Kelly?

  Assuming things are still going in, in October, which we'll get to.

• 3:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, in a segment that we call the goddamn news.

• 3:25Justin Roczniak?

  Jarring shift in tone here. Very large earthquake in Myanmar and Thailand on March the 28th. Looking at like 2,700 people dead. God knows how many injured. Everyone was sending me this video, which was a huge skyscraper under construction fell down on video. I'm thinking Bangkok.

• 3:46November Kelly?

  But like, because Myanmar, Burma is a completely closed country because of the, the military dictatorship and civil war, very, very difficult to even find out what's happening, let alone to get aid in. The, I remember the Chinese Red Cross sent in a convoy that then somebody shot at.

• 4:05Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, my God.

• 4:06November Kelly?

  This is not the worst like place for getting shot at if you're in the, the Red Cross or whatever. That's still Palestine.

• 4:12Justin Roczniak?

  What are they? The IDF?

• 4:14November Kelly?

  I mean, I know that the Burmese, the dictatorship bought Pegasus spyware from Israel. So, yeah, kind of.

• 4:23Justin Roczniak?

  I guess so. I'm just wondering, like, okay, you put up a building that tall. Surely you're following earthquake codes.

• 4:32November Kelly?

  One would.

• 4:32Justin Roczniak?

  Like, I don't understand how this happens.

• 4:34November Kelly?

  I assume it's just the same way it happens anywhere else, just corruption, which is, you know, you go, yeah, we're totally, we're following the earthquake codes, not knowing or caring if the earthquake is going to happen because you're making your money now, and then, and then building fall down.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  And that kind of corruption that leads to like a spirit of corruption at the core of the nation, which leads to God's wrath.

• 4:54November Kelly?

  Oh, exactly.

• 4:55Justin Roczniak?

  This is true, yeah.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  I'm, but my name is not Tom Pangloss, by the way.

• 5:01November Kelly?

  Yeah, it was, it was like, it was a big earthquake, too. It was like 7.7.

• 5:04Justin Roczniak?

  7.7, yeah, which, I mean, okay, I, there, there are, there have definitely been earthquakes that big where the damage, you know, has not been incredibly catastrophic in quite the same way. Like, I, I just don't expect buildings this big to fall down in earthquakes, but apparently I've been proven wrong. You know, there's a certain, certain size of building where I expect you to do your due diligence.

• 5:29November Kelly?

  There's, there's, there's always a guy willing to undercut you. There's always a landlord, and I fucking hate landlords. I, I fucking hate landlords, partly because skyscraper collapsed, partly because mine's trying to kick me out of my home, but like, yeah. Also, like, I don't think of Myanmar as being a particularly, like, seismically active place, I guess. I mean, I know they have them, but like, not huge ones like you think of in, unlike the, you know, Pacific Rim or whatever, right?

• 5:59Justin Roczniak?

  Well, I mean, at least here in the United States, where we have international building code, and it's international because it's used in the United States and Canada.

• 6:07November Kelly?

  Yeah, like the World Series.

• 6:08Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. The, you know, even at places where earthquakes are comparatively rare, like, the earthquake code is still the governing code. Like, if you're putting up a new building, like, here in Philly, you're still, like, you know, preparing for it to withstand, like, a 7.0, because those do happen every couple hundred years.

• 6:29November Kelly?

  Yeah, and I guess, you know, now is the couple of hundred years. Apparently, the skyscraper was still being built, so at least there weren't, you know, people.

• 6:37Justin Roczniak?

  That, that is, there were, there were construction workers in there.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  So 70s, some are missing, 30s, some are dead.

• 6:42November Kelly?

  Jesus.

• 6:44Justin Roczniak?

  It does seem to be like a one off. There wasn't any other collapse of this magnitude to my knowledge.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  I found myself fascinated by the number of infinity pool skyscrapers and the footage of them spilling their contents out to the street. That was a weird, that's a weird thing. I don't think it's been very common in earthquakes in the past.

• 7:00November Kelly?

  It's a, that's a real like, I've seen footage kind of moment, right? Like the, the, the for you page is lit. You're seeing a bunch of infinity pools get like dumped out onto the street. I had time to be in the infinity pool.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:13Justin Roczniak?

  That's, that's, that's maybe what's saving those buildings from falling down is that the, the infinity pool is acting as a tuned mass damper. And therefore dampening the shaking of the building.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  This is a structural infinity pool.

• 7:29November Kelly?

  So on the, on the one hand, the infinity pool calls down God's wrath, causing the earthquake. But on the other, the infinity pool attenuates the, the like experience of the earthquake. I guess my other question is like.

• 7:43Justin Roczniak?

  The pool just gets increasingly more and more disgusting because you can't drain it to clean it because then the building would fall down.

• 7:52November Kelly?

  This is a, this is our building swamp.

• 7:55Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 7:55November Kelly?

  Just full of beer cans and shit.

• 7:57Justin Roczniak?

  Natural, natural ecosystem.

• 7:59November Kelly?

  What's that one lagoon that they built Legos around that is just now filled with trash? It's like that, but like 50 stories up.

• 8:08November Kelly?

  The other, the, my question was like, how, like, even if you're following the codes, right? Whatever international codes there are, if you're still building it, how, how, you know, how resilient can you plausibly make it? Or is that just, because I don't know anything about construction.

• 8:22Justin Roczniak?

  I would figure, okay, so this appeared to be a reinforced concrete structure. So probably like the top two stories were still caring. Everything else should have been pretty close to final strength. I mean, after that, it's just interior furnishings and like, uh, you know, cladding.

• 8:38November Kelly?

  And they're putting in the like one, the one like easy chair that makes the building, you know, uh, proof against earthquakes.

• 8:45Justin Roczniak?

  Well, I, I, I suppose that the top two floors like pancake, maybe that's too much weight. The whole thing comes down, but I don't know.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Steal, I don't want to like preempt Nova's question, but had they entered the rigidification stage of construction, which I imagine is how they keep it.

• 9:01November Kelly?

  The kind of Kerbal space program thing where once you've kind of constructed the frame, you put a bunch of struts on everything. So it doesn't like wobble too much.

• 9:08Justin Roczniak?

  It just looks like you duct taped the whole thing together.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  I mean, did they, did they, did they, I mean, we might find that they didn't use any duct tape. I mean, that would be pretty concerning.

• 9:20Justin Roczniak?

  Concrete and rebar, but no duct tape. Come on.

• 9:23November Kelly?

  They used the like Soviet equivalent, that like sticky blue tape that isn't as good.

• 9:27Justin Roczniak?

  Well, I mean, if, if you, if you hadn't installed the HVAC yet, then you definitely wouldn't be using any duct tape. Cause duct tape is for ducks.

• 9:37November Kelly?

  Hmm. Makes sense.

• 9:38Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  What about goose tape?

• 9:40Justin Roczniak?

  They're for geese. Yes.

• 9:42November Kelly?

  Stop taping geesey maniac.

• 9:45Justin Roczniak?

  Taping geese together into a goose king.

• 9:48November Kelly?

  Horrible, but.

• 9:53November Kelly?

  This is the sequel to Untitled Goose Game, Untitled Goose King Game. It's a lot more body horror.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Real betrayal to anarchism, the goose represented. Well, I mean, and that just goes for, for Liam's not here. We could just say, you know, that goes for par for anarchism.

• 10:08Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  Trailing the revolution.

• 10:10November Kelly?

  And speaking of body horror, this killed like, I mean, overall, what, like 5,000 people, we think?

• 10:17Justin Roczniak?

  Last estimate I saw was 2,700 dead. I had no idea how many injured. Um, again, the estimates out of Myanmar slash Burma, we don't know.

• 10:26November Kelly?

  It's just a real bad time when you're already having a civil war. Like there's never a good time to have an earthquake. But I feel like if you're, you know, dodging fucking kamikaze drones and shit. Uh, and you're like, man, I, I wish, I wish there was, you know, something other than a civil war going on right now. And then you, you, you get your wish because God saw too many infinity pools.

• 10:47Justin Roczniak?

  All I can say is, you know, thank God I don't live in a closed country. In other news.

• 10:54November Kelly?

  Uh, wait, no, fuck. Sliders.

• 11:00November Kelly?

  Yeah. So, hmm.

• 11:03Justin Roczniak?

  Donald John Trump has restored stability to America's business community.

• 11:09November Kelly?

  Oh, Jesus Christ. In a month's time, the Patreon is going to cost $200 just so we don't starve.

• 11:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, it's if we raise the price, it's because of this, I'm sorry.

• 11:19November Kelly?

  Please, please do not cancel your Patreons, even if you are reduced to wearing a barrel and like scavenging garbage. We also need money, please.

• 11:29Justin Roczniak?

  Well, honestly, it would be because Patreon increased fees.

• 11:35November Kelly?

  Also, yes. Patreon tariffs. Because Jack Conte from Pomp and Mose also needs to eat.

• 11:41Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, that's true. So, our president has introduced a large number of these uniquely tailored reciprocal tariffs to all of the countries in the world, including those that are only inhabited by United States soldiers and including those which are only inhabited by penguins.

• 12:01November Kelly?

  This is, this is very troubling to me, a Marxist, because I thought for a long time, right? That like, capital does stuff, people don't do stuff. There's, there's, you know, there's fucking deep states at work. There's material interests. And then I sat through like two months of Trump wrecking American foreign policy, like decades worth of it, without any like foreign policy deep state assassinating him. And now he's doing the same for the economy. And I don't think the economy deep state's gonna assassinate him either. So, maybe, maybe you can do whatever you want, you know, and Marx failed to account for orange man bad.

• 12:37Justin Roczniak?

  These tariffs have been just sort of arbitrarily slapped on based on a very simple mathematical formula, which is like, trade surplus minus trade deficit over trade deficit, or something like that.

• 12:50November Kelly?

  Yeah, the deputy, the deputy press secretary for the administration admitted this while trying to deny it. Because he said, no, it's not that. It's X minus Y over Z with some like Greek symbols.

• 13:04Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, with some, with, you know, there was some kind of like elasticity modifier and some kind of other economic bullshit on the denominator. It was epsilon and a fee, I remember that much. And one of them was set at four and the other one was set at a quarter, which of course multiplies to one.

• 13:22November Kelly?

  There's the other, the other thing is if you ask chat GPT how to like balance the budget, this is what it will tell you to do verbatim.

• 13:32Justin Roczniak?

  And the list of countries is equivalent to list of country top level domains.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  Can I ask about these about these countries? Because what's really, really bothering my OCD is they're not sorted by alphabet, like the alphabetical name of the country. They're not sorted by the tariff charged to the United States and they're not sorted by the tariff. There's no logical reason to the, to the sorting and that, that, that is the, to me, absolutely fucking insane. No one there was like, all right, we, can we sort this table? No one knows how to sort a fucking table in whatever Canva or whatever bullshit they use now.

• 14:14Justin Roczniak?

  I wonder if it's like volume of exports by value.

• 14:17November Kelly?

  I, I really like the, the reciprocal tariffs drop shadow. That's cool. That's graphic design to me. I, I swear to fucking god. So yeah, like China's already doing like reciprocal tariffs. The EU is going to do reciprocal tariffs. Uh, this is going to cause a recession immediately. And it, it's going to be real bad and anyone who thinks that it isn't is lying to themselves. Um, however.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  It's 10%, 10% drop already, right?

• 14:47November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stonks, Stonks bad. I mean, it's a real kind of like, uh, listen up liberal crashes the economy.

• 14:54Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, this is the, the place where I am because I, I started panicking about this a few weeks ago.

• 14:59November Kelly?

  Thanks for the heads up.

• 15:01Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, well, you know, I, I mean, I, I subscribe to very few publications I have to pay for, one of which is Railway Age, um, where I read an article about a letter that the American Association of State Highway and Transportation Officials sent to the president saying, you know, hey, we love you. We love government efficiency. We love all this stuff because Ashto is a pretty conservative trade organization overall. And then they were like, hey, could you, could you? Approve some of these environmental reviews that have to go through so we can get on with these highway projects.

• 15:37November Kelly?

  Oh boy.

• 15:37Justin Roczniak?

  And that's when I realized, oh shit, we're just doing government by Ctrl F. They just said, oh, that's environment. That's woke. We need to shut that down entirely.

• 15:46November Kelly?

  They're doing it by edit fine. They don't know how control.

• 15:48Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. So it's like, okay, no kind of approval for any kind of project. That requires federal approval anywhere in the United States is going on. And that's public and private industry. Like, how are you supposed to do anything? Unless you just like decide, okay, I'm gonna install my like multi-million dollar, you know, power generation unit. Or a transformer or a, you know, a chemical process unit or a blast furnace or something. Without getting any kind of the legal approvals you need. Cause just because they fired everyone, doesn't mean the regulations are off the books. You still have to do compliance. I mean, even if the president says, look, I'm issuing an executive order.

• 16:33Justin Roczniak?

  It says crime is legal now. You have to go then to get someone to underwrite your huge investment. So that you can get a loan for it. Which means you now have to go to Lloyds of London and say, listen, I know we can't do any of the legal compliance. Maybe this will change in four years as the administration changes. But right now, get this, guys, crime is legal now. How much to underwrite this shit?

• 16:57November Kelly?

  Fucking god, I genuinely like, so what you're suggesting here is not just the podcast costs $200 a month. But also that we have to deliver it by telegraph because there's no electricity.

• 17:09Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, this is where I am is that like, okay, it's not so much like these tariffs are going to, you know, cost the economy. Billions of dollars and you're gonna lose your retirement savings. You know, I'm looking at this and combined with the demise of the regulatory state. These people aren't even gonna be able to keep the power grid running. These people aren't gonna keep water systems running. You're gonna get cholera.

• 17:33November Kelly?

  The preppers were right, but for the dumbest possible reason, and most of them voted for the guy who made it happen. I, I, I just, so, so, okay, right, the part, we gotta keep going, right? Continuity of government, we gotta have our own kind of Raven Rock situation here. The podcast keeps transmitting through the form of telegraphs, right?

• 17:53Justin Roczniak?

  Ham radios.

• 17:54November Kelly?

  Wax cylinders, ham radios, whatever the fuck it is. And then you mail us gold, like, physical gold.

• 18:01Justin Roczniak?

  Speech travelers' checks.

• 18:03November Kelly?

  And by, and by mail, obviously, there's no postal service, so you, you do like, uh, Ancom, uh, like, not even Ancom, like, AnCap, kind of, you form a contract with a bunch of mercenaries to, uh, like, escort a convoy full of your gold to us every month. All right. And then, and then you get a wax cylinder back.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  Hear, hear me out, I'm gonna form some sort of, uh, like, organization, some sort of compact, um, maybe, maybe we can call it a company that we were gonna, I'm gonna trade, uh-huh, maybe, maybe with Britain, and since it's Britain's east of the United States, we'll call it like, the East Britain Trade Company. And.

• 18:39November Kelly?

  This sounds like a flawless idea, yeah.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  And we're going to have paid, you know, we're gonna have Black, not Blackrock, Blackrock will probably evolve too, but, uh, what is, what is Z Academy?

• 18:49November Kelly?

  Blackwater.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  Blackwater called now, we're gonna, so we're gonna have Punisher Skull guys instead of like Royal Marines.

• 18:55November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  Um, and, and we're gonna have packets again, which I'm really excited, cause packets like, like, oh, you like internet packets? You think TCP IP is nice? No, we're going back to the original packet, top-sail schooners, and, and.

• 19:08November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Just real fast, weatherly, ships that are weatherly and stiff by the board.

• 19:11November Kelly?

  Any, any, any listener of ours who lives by a coast is gonna be out on the widow's walk of their house, looking for the, the packet.

• 19:19Justin Roczniak?

  Waiting for the pod to come.

• 19:23November Kelly?

  We'll have only a marginally worse release schedule than now.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  And since tuberculosis will, will, like, the, the consumption will return, so, we're gonna have a lot of, like, you know, like, very romantic, you know, dark, dark-haired, dark-eyed, like, women on the, on the widow's, you know, we're gonna be inclusive, it's gonna be everybody.

• 19:40November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  Just, we're all gonna be like, hot goths, but, but, but we're wasting away.

• 19:45November Kelly?

  Yes, yeah, without podcasts.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  Oh, I declare if I only had just one more sec, one more listen to that podcast.

• 19:52November Kelly?

  The, the, the thing is, right?

• 19:54Speaker 02

  Just news that it was coming or not.

• 19:58November Kelly?

  The other thing is, for a long time, it was like, actually a really, really helpful thing to me, because I live in Britain, which is a shithole country in a different way, slightly. But because of the podcast, and thanks to listeners like you, NPR Voice, I get paid predominantly in dollars, which used to be great. And now, now I'm wearing the barrel of despair. So I'm not, I'm not sure what to do about that. Can we make Patreon start charging in like renminbi?

• 20:25Justin Roczniak?

  I mean, theoretically, the tariffs should be deflationary, but that has so far not played out.

• 20:33November Kelly?

  I, I, mm, okay. Well, I guess we'll have to see what happens and what my like barrel status is. In the meantime-

• 20:40Justin Roczniak?

  You might be, you might be wearing a gilded barrel.

• 20:42November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah. In the meantime, all I can ask is, please do not cancel your Patreon, no matter how desperate your finances get personally. And please do not die of cholera, or if you do die of cholera, keep it so like auto-renewed for as long as possible.

• 20:57Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 20:58Speaker 02

  I'm just, I'm on the cholera cot, like just waiting. I'm laying in bed. My wife, my wife is doing the widow's walk.

• 21:05November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Walking longingly out to sea.

• 21:07November Kelly?

  You're, you're having a horrible cholera death. You're vomiting, you're coughing, you're pissing, you're shitting, and then your phone like goes off and you're like, oh, new, well, that's your problem. And then you go back to the coughing and so forth.

• 21:17Justin Roczniak?

  Well, no, it's coming over on the package ship.

• 21:20November Kelly?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

• 21:21Justin Roczniak?

  With our, our, our privateers who all have scurvy.

• 21:27November Kelly?

  I mean, it's weird with Britain specifically, because on the one hand, weirdly, the Brexit people were right in the sense that Trump is much madder at the EU than he is at us. And so they get double the tariffs that we do. But on the other hand, when the EU invents the European equivalent to Patreon, Patreon, obviously, we are, we are not invited, right? And a bunch of rimless glasses guys in gray suits are gonna be laughing at me and my barrel.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  All those smug airport fucks.

• 21:58November Kelly?

  Yeah, like it's gonna be a bunch of smug airport fucks inventing voila, votre problème. And then I'm gonna, I'm gonna be over here starving to death like you motherfuckers.

• 22:09Speaker 02

  I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be, we're all gonna be in the airport in barrels as like some fucking Italian in a goddamn suit. Just wanders by perfectly tousled, you know, hair, you know, looks like he just got, you know, he spent eight hours on it, but it looks like he just, you know, just, just mocking us, you know?

• 22:24November Kelly?

  I really do appreciate though.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  La brutto figura.

• 22:27November Kelly?

  This will fully make Britain into Reversal and I appreciate that much. It's, it's also one thing particularly is this is a, it's a war on treats, right? Like, um, and, and guys like Lutner and Besson say this openly, like what they want is to get America off of its fix of like cheap treats, cheap debt and all the rest of it. Right. Which is a little bit like saying, I need to get away from my like, I have rigged a poker deck and being like, I gotta get off this like ace fixation of mine. But it also specifically, it's a, it's a, it's a like, uh, it's a shoe detox because, um, after the last round of tariffs, Nike, Adidas and a bunch of others moved all of their production

• 23:06November Kelly?

  out of China, cause China was getting, gonna get tariffed up the ass to Vietnam and Taiwan, which as you see here are rose three and four on the beautiful Canva charts.

• 23:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:18November Kelly?

  It's like, you can't move a shoe factory very easily. You can't hire labor for a shoe factory very easily. Americans don't wanna like sew shoes together. And it's not economical to pay American wages to do that.

• 23:34Speaker 02

  I'm gonna paperclip a bunch of Italian cobblers. They still have cobblers in that nation.

• 23:39Justin Roczniak?

  There are American sweat shafts, but they are, they're still more expensive to run and the conditions are horrible.

• 23:44November Kelly?

  Yeah, it's, it's, you're gonna have to buy exclusively American footwear, which in practice means like. Three different boot manufacturers. So if you're a big like, you know, whites, like Pacific Northwest logging boot type of guy, it's gonna be great for you. If you're a Georgia boot stan, then yeah, sure. But like-

• 24:02Speaker 02

  The Red Wing guy, the Buy It For Life Reddit guy?

• 24:05November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Oh, these-

• 24:06November Kelly?

  The smuggest man in America before he heard about this and is now kind of achieving exit velocity and heading somewhat towards fucking Venus.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  Everyday carry guys right now are just absolutely just, they're pumped, they're pumped.

• 24:21November Kelly?

  The three things that you build in America.

• 24:23Justin Roczniak?

  My meat and cheese budget is gonna go through the roof. I, you know, this is gonna seriously affect me.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  I'm not buying American pasta. Fuck that.

• 24:33November Kelly?

  Yeah, exactly. One of the dumbest guys in a crowded field, Tim Poole. I saw him tweet yesterday, "We should just ban all imports until we figure out what's going on." And it's like, okay, cool. Enjoy finding a place in America where you can grow coffee. That'll be great. Or like bananas.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  Fuck it. What did they use during the Civil War? Was it carob or some bullshit like that?

• 24:55November Kelly?

  Yeah, like chicory or something, yeah.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  Chicory, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I love, like, our life is gonna be conditioned in fucking Andersonville.

• 25:02November Kelly?

  I, I, I'm looking at Trump here, and he doesn't look great as well. He looks like a photo negative of Ronald McDonald.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, he reminds me of Mr. Popo from Dragon Ball Z.

• 25:15Speaker 02

  We're getting a little Al Jolson-y here, Donny.

• 25:18November Kelly?

  Yeah, he looks like Roger in season one of Mad Men. It's uncomfortable. Like, yeah, no, it's, it's real bad is the thing. And I, I don't know what's gonna happen because like, logically, think, this has already crashed the economy, right? And everybody who knows is like, this is gonna cause a recession. The, the Trump thing to do would be to back down off this after a month, right? But he's done this whole, like, liberation day thing. He had a chart made. And so now it's like an ego trip as well. Because if he like backs down off of it, it's his fault. He can't blame somebody else for it.

• 25:52Justin Roczniak?

  You know, again, three or four months from now won't matter because we'll have died of cholera.

• 25:57Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, the cholera. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we're already dying of measles. I mean, that's happening.

• 26:03Justin Roczniak?

  That's true. Well, RFK is gonna come out and a worm is gonna say cholera is good for you. And, you know.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  It's gonna use that instead of, instead of Ozempic because we can't import anything from Denmark anymore.

• 26:14Justin Roczniak?

  That's a good point, yeah.

• 26:16November Kelly?

  Not to, not to fixate on myself, but it's just, I, I, I don't know everybody else's situation, but it's a, it's really shitty timing for me that the economy collapses right as I'm about to get kicked out of my apartment. I really don't like that because not only do I have to wear the barrel, I also then have to live in the barrel. And while that's convenient in one sense, it's like, it also sucks, you know?

• 26:38Speaker 02

  That, that, that does suck that, that these, these sort of situations like put people on the spot.

• 26:44November Kelly?

  Yeah. I mean, the worst is it, I guess the worst off besides Nike is if you're a guy who like runs a, like a small business that exports a lot to the US in like, I don't know, Vietnam, right? Or whatever the one beneath Malaysia is, it's getting a 49% tariff. The fucking McDonald Islands with all the penguins or whatever. Cause, cause that's basically just like, God has seen your metaphorical infinity pool and has, has like shattered it, right?

• 27:16Justin Roczniak?

  Here, here's the other thing.

• 27:18Speaker 02

  We're taxing the islands. Oh, sorry.

• 27:20Justin Roczniak?

  Because of the rise of craft beer and especially barrel aged beers, barrels are expensive now.

• 27:26November Kelly?

  Fuck. What am I, what the fuck am I gonna wear?

• 27:30Speaker 02

  Listen, it's a shame that the, that the, that the beer supply company I worked for back in the day is out of business now. I think they're like, I think they sold the building to a Zionism store. So.

• 27:42November Kelly?

  Getting, getting a great deal on like a used barrel, like a Herman Miller chair that you just find dumped on the sidewalk after a beer business has gone bankrupt.

• 27:50Speaker 02

  And there's gonna be like, like, what I like is, is the barrel is gonna also show your status. So like, you know, you have a claret battle, a barrel, you know, you have a Malmsey. Do you have weird names for wines over there that like, no, it's Bordeaux. I don't know why, like, I know why you call it claret, but it's, it's fucking Bordeaux. Like, it's like, um.

• 28:08Justin Roczniak?

  If I used bourbon barrel, uh, that hasn't been used for stout.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  It's gonna be too expensive.

• 28:14Justin Roczniak?

  No, this one was used for stout like six times over.

• 28:17Speaker 02

  You're gonna have to get sherry barrels. You're gonna have to use Hungarian oak, you fucking libyanas.

• 28:21November Kelly?

  I'm gonna have to have cholera inside like an oak barrel.

• 28:26Speaker 02

  But it's not even gonna be good oak. It's Hungarian oak. It's the, the one that no one wants. It's not French. It's not American.

• 28:32Justin Roczniak?

  Nah, it's gonna be too expensive due to the tariffs.

• 28:37November Kelly?

  Well, the Hungarian Hungarian oak is going to be cheap because Orban, right? So we'll have the oak connection. Jesus fucking Christ, dude. I don't, I don't. Something, something needs to, to happen. Otherwise, it really, it really, I, there's something needs to happen, it happen in between me and the barrel. You know, like, because otherwise it's a straight line. Please, please continue to value comedy podcast in your budget. Pushing the button that resurrects Lennon, Lennon, just like burning my finger out, tapping that fucking button. I've, I've had that shit taped down since I was a teenager. Please come back. Go, go to the mausoleum and getting like kicked out by the guards because I'm trying to shake him and both of his shoulders are coming off.

• 29:22Justin Roczniak?

  You, you go in there with a defibrillator.

• 29:26November Kelly?

  Has anyone tried it? It might work.

• 29:30November Kelly?

  No one's tested if there's an upper time limit on those things.

• 29:33Speaker 02

  If you ever make that joke, you get you, of course, this is what you fucking get in response to go, you know, Lennon, Lennon deserves his rest. It's time for, for you to, to.

• 29:42November Kelly?

  No, I can't. I can't. The conditions are too different. I, the, the conditions are different. It's hard. I like treats. And also I was told by a poster once that Lennon lived, Lennon lives and Lennon will live forever. And I choose to take that 100% literally. Please stop touching Lennon. I'm about to defibrillate him. Yeah. Clear. I played Battlefield 2 as the medic class at an impressionable age.

• 30:08Justin Roczniak?

  Yep.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  Listen, I grew up Catholic. I know what incorruptibility of the saints means.

• 30:16November Kelly?

  God, we didn't even touch that on the Catholicism episode. We should have done.

• 30:19Justin Roczniak?

  Fuck.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  Saint Lennon.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  That's a cool band name, by the way. You can thank.

• 30:26November Kelly?

  Saint Lennon is like a belief that like a bunch of South American grandmas have, I think. Like equally radicalized by liberation theology and Che Guevara. So you're like, well, I'm pretty certain that like Lennon was the same.

• 30:39Speaker 02

  I, you know what? I fuck with that. Like, let's go make some handles.

• 30:41Justin Roczniak?

  That sounds good. Yeah.

• 30:42November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  We can make them in America until we run out of bees. Which will probably happen.

• 30:48November Kelly?

  That's happening too.

• 30:49Justin Roczniak?

  It's also happening too. Yeah.

• 30:51Speaker 02

  We're, we're all going to be fucking, we're going to evolve fingers with, with bristles at the end because we're going to pollinate by hand.

• 30:59November Kelly?

  From, from reaching out from our barrels to.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  We're gonna become turtle. You know what? It's, it's gonna be the, the, the cancerification. You know, we're gonna become crab.

• 31:10November Kelly?

  You know, it's, yeah, yeah. As, as Donald Trump said, he went out there and he said liberation day or like all hail the new flesh. I, I mean, it's really funny looking at what stocks have gone up as well because it's Philip Morris.

• 31:27November Kelly?

  And Bev and Campbell's Soup. So it may as well, it may as well get futures in like United Bindle.

• 31:35Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Um, you know.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  Making the mice a man real.

• 31:38Justin Roczniak?

  Probably some barrel manufacturers, uh, Coopers, excuse me. Yeah.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  There's like six of them left.

• 31:44November Kelly?

  In, in, in a gold rush, sell picks and shovels, uh, in a recession, sell barrels.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  The people, they told me they're gonna live in barrels. And I said, it's gonna be tough, but sometimes you have to do it.

• 31:59Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, my, my portfolio is 50% Coopridge.

• 32:02Speaker 02

  I don't even, I don't even wanna look at what the, what the.

• 32:05November Kelly?

  The calendar, 1850?

• 32:07Speaker 02

  You know what? I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to the, to the Peasers, uh, the Pennsylvania State Education Retirement Fund, uh,

• 32:14Speaker 02

  meeting and say, hey, we should be probably getting the barrels right now.

• 32:17Justin Roczniak?

  Get into, get, get into Coopers, get into burlap sacks, get into, um, uh, what else?

• 32:24November Kelly?

  Stop burying gold in your yards. Uh, stop getting into, start getting into shoes that are comic, like comically coming apart at the sole in their, their.

• 32:33Speaker 02

  Weird, weird depression shit, like saving, saving scraps of bat from meat that. Yeah. My, oh, my grand had tubs of that shit in the freezer. Reusing aluminum foil.

• 32:45Justin Roczniak?

  You can make a nice stock out of them.

• 32:47November Kelly?

  A hearty stew?

• 32:49Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. You could, um.

• 32:51Speaker 02

  Saving, saving, saving dirty under, like old underwears for, uh, for rags.

• 32:57Justin Roczniak?

  This is gonna be, this is gonna be a great time if you're a cobbler. Um.

• 33:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, learn a trade.

• 33:03Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Shoe shining, maybe? Uh.

• 33:07Speaker 02

  The Dutch are gonna, really gonna do well.

• 33:10November Kelly?

  Great, great to be an urchin.

• 33:12Justin Roczniak?

  It's a good time to be an urchin.

• 33:14Speaker 02

  Newsy caps, like invest in like Mukros, like the Irish weaving.

• 33:18Justin Roczniak?

  You could be a muckracker. You could be.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Yellow journalism is back. Boys who can yell extra, extra riddle about it. We're getting fun more of those. That's the future.

• 33:31Justin Roczniak?

  I was thinking the original sense of the muckracker where you're, you're trying to find valuable items that people dropped in the Thames.

• 33:38November Kelly?

  Oh, yeah. It's all, it's all clay pipe stems. What the fuck?

• 33:42Speaker 02

  It's all old turds. The ones that when they, when they sent Queen Victoria out in her Thames cruise, they were like, oh, it was a shoot her eyes from the turds.

• 33:50November Kelly?

  Bashing it away with an oar.

• 33:53Justin Roczniak?

  What is it? Anything good? Nah, just another Docless e-bike.

• 33:58Speaker 02

  Some of that I was thinking of, speaking of like the Lennon button, it's, there's going to be a button somewhere in the stock exchange once like the New York, uh, what's the name of the fucking stock? Is it New York City Stock Exchange? I don't remember.

• 34:09Justin Roczniak?

  New York Stock Exchange, yeah.

• 34:10Speaker 02

  Thank you. Yeah. NYSE. Uh, when it drops below a certain number, they're going to push a button and then in the triangle shirt waist building, like they're going to flip over and there's going to be women that they're knitting, uh, and machines chained to their desk. All, all, the entire building, all the exits will become sealed. Yeah. The bathrooms are locked.

• 34:29Justin Roczniak?

  Yep.

• 34:31November Kelly?

  Manufacturing is coming back. I mean.

• 34:34Justin Roczniak?

  Isn't that, that building's, uh, that building's currently, uh, like.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  NYU apartment.

• 34:38November Kelly?

  Fucking WeWork or something.

• 34:40Justin Roczniak?

  It's, it's owned by.

• 34:41Speaker 02

  I like the WeWork in the haunted, the haunted fucking sweatshop.

• 34:45November Kelly?

  It is, it is the worst week for US stocks since COVID.

• 34:49Justin Roczniak?

  Well, this is, this is, you know, the result of policies developed by people who have never done anything other than send emails. Um, they don't know what works.

• 34:58Speaker 02

  Post about woke, post about the, the, just the, the, these are, this is the like reaction vids, like, well, like I watched Star Trek and there was a black person and I got like, now Star Trek's woke and like getting 300,000 likes from people who've never watched Star Trek. I'm, I'm just, I'm shoehorning Star Trek into the thing today. But, um, first contact days tomorrow.

• 35:19Justin Roczniak?

  Look, we're gonna, I, I, I guess we're going to increase the tariffs and then AI will tell us how to bring back manufacturing.

• 35:25November Kelly?

  I mean, first contact day, really funny time for it to happen for real. Just like, we were just about to like fuck ourselves into barrel apocalypse and intelligent life shows up as just like, hey guys, how's it going?

• 35:40Justin Roczniak?

  Whole society of people wearing barrels and they're like, strange, strange customs they have here.

• 35:46November Kelly?

  Yeah, you're like in their Star Trek as like monster of the week barrel planet for the rest of fucking like intergalactic history. You're trying to shake it. You're like, it was a one time thing when you did first contact. It's not, it's not fair, but they don't, it doesn't matter. You're barrel people to them.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  It's the real, it's the real first contact because in the film, he launches on what appears to be a modified Titan II. And the Titan II using its extremely toxic hypergolic propellant would have killed everybody in like that little shitty shanty town around. So they might, they might have to live in barrels after that. No one really talks about, you know, talks about, you know, shit like that.

• 36:26November Kelly?

  One of my favorite original series episodes, piece of the action, Kirk drops down to gangster planet, 1930s gangster planet, where they're all like, yeah, see? And he has to get him to like, join the Federation by being like, the Federation is like Al Capone. That's so like aliens showing up in the Trump administration in like 2025, that's a very similar vibe, I feel to like, you have caught us at a bad time. You are catching our planet in the nasty comedy gangster era.

• 37:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's the same strategy I use to teach my students poetry. It looks like me sitting down, like I sit backwards on the chair, like, all right, we're gonna learn about poetry, but you know what? The real poetry is of the streets, man. You guys like hip hop? You know, but you know what? Chaucer had bars too. All right. And let's, we're gonna work on this real rap, right?

• 37:22Speaker 02

  I hope I killed some, I hope I killed some zoomers with that.

• 37:25November Kelly?

  Hmm. You know, you know who else was no cap for real, for real?

• 37:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, keep it the bean.

• 37:31Justin Roczniak?

  Fucking James Joyce.

• 37:35Speaker 02

  Alright kids, let's, we're gonna read some letters James Joyce wrote.

• 37:37November Kelly?

  Oh, no, no, oh no. Don't do that. If you don't know what that's about, don't do that.

• 37:43Speaker 02

  Don't, don't, don't.

• 37:44November Kelly?

  Don't, don't read James Joyce's letters.

• 37:48Speaker 02

  So, don't, don't, yeah.

• 37:49November Kelly?

  To Nora, whatever.

• 37:51Speaker 02

  Nora, the particle, whatever her fuck.

• 37:53November Kelly?

  Yeah, the man wanted to do some things and have some things down to him that you don't need to read about. You don't need that knowledge in your life.

• 38:01Speaker 02

  They were happy together with that, and that's great for them.

• 38:03Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, exactly.

• 38:05November Kelly?

  I don't even know if it is. I, yeah.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  I mean, you're gonna get pink eyes, that's all I'm just gonna say.

• 38:13Speaker 02

  And that's gonna be lethal now, because we won't have antibiotics.

• 38:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. Well, you already have the cholera and be in the barrel. That's what's gonna happen when the Federation shows up. It's gonna be like, it's a planet full of people wearing barrels, they all have cholera.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  Imagine that's the first.

• 38:27Justin Roczniak?

  They don't even have electricity. They clearly had it recently, but they don't now.

• 38:30Speaker 02

  We're gonna set up an observation post here on Planet, Planet Soul 3, and they're like, you know, let's look at their cultural documents.

• 38:39November Kelly?

  Never mind, yeah.

• 38:41Justin Roczniak?

  You'll be like, well, this is clearly was a culture worth, you know, exploring like a few weeks ago, but I think we're just gonna go in and steal a library and, you know, be done with it.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  We're gonna, we're gonna hear the Prime Directive here. They're clearly not advanced enough, but you know, sometimes we save the ones, like, remember that one, like, with the volcanoes? You know what? That was a mistake. We're gonna call Mulligan on that. This one, Prime Directive. The planet's melting, we're just gonna have to, you know what?

• 39:08Justin Roczniak?

  You're gonna have to.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  I read those fucking letters. Goddamn this universal translator.

• 39:12November Kelly?

  Begging them to violate the Prime Directive.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  The word fart, the word fart is universal. It's in every fucking species in this fucking galaxy. We all have a word for fart.

• 39:23Justin Roczniak?

  Alright, well, that will be the consequence of Trump, again, restoring stability to America's business community.

• 39:32November Kelly?

  Thank you, President Trump.

• 39:34Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 39:34Justin Roczniak?

  Thank you, President Donald John Trump.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  You're welcome.

• 39:37Justin Roczniak?

  I hope you enjoy.

• 39:41Justin Roczniak?

  That was the goddamn news.

• 39:45November Kelly?

  By following on from that, we got some tour announcements.

• 39:48Justin Roczniak?

  Tour announcements, tour announcements.

• 39:50November Kelly?

  We're doing a tour, we're doing a tour of the northeastern United States. However, as you may be aware, the United States border, um, worst to cross than ever. To the point that.

• 40:02Justin Roczniak?

  That's because the business environment is so stable.

• 40:05November Kelly?

  Yeah, the business environment is so stable that I have had multiple people ask and some beg me not to try to come to the US and I was.

• 40:16Justin Roczniak?

  To quote a, um, to quote a lawyer with a podcast on the internet, uh, stop emailing me.

• 40:24November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so I mean, we, we did seek legal advice on this and some like expert advice from people who are in a position to know. And for a while we were going to try and tough it out and be like, well, fuck it. We're gonna, you know, go to the embassy, they're gonna misgender me, whatever the fuck. Now we denote to the point that like, I really don't want to get like a Salvadoran involuntary haircut. So.

• 40:47Justin Roczniak?

  It's kinda, it's, it's kinda like, you know, if, if you're, well, Riley said this on Trash Feature, but I was thinking in parallel. You know, it's like, okay, if you're like 99% certain you're not going to go to Salvadorian prison.

• 41:01November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 41:02Justin Roczniak?

  You don't go.

• 41:03November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 41:04Justin Roczniak?

  That's a bad number.

• 41:05November Kelly?

  Yeah. Um, so we will figure out some Edward Snowden telepresence shit.

• 41:11Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, exactly.

• 41:12November Kelly?

  We'll put a little barrel on the robot to represent my like attire at the time as well. Um, and.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  I'll just have to bring the guns over to you.

• 41:20November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 41:20Speaker 02

  I'll just have to smuggle my firearms into the UK.

• 41:24November Kelly?

  It's always, it's always fun to see me on the watch list for a change. Yeah.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. We'll probably have to bleep that.

• 41:31November Kelly?

  Yeah, but so, um, yeah, we, we, I'm just gonna remote in for the shows and it fucking sucks because.

• 41:37Justin Roczniak?

  It's.

• 41:39November Kelly?

  Like what a fucking piece of cognitive dissonance apart from anything else to be like, yeah, I'm gonna get out of bed today. I'm gonna walk into like, you know, assuming I'm still in this apartment, I'm gonna walk into the like office. Uh, and I'm gonna, gonna call in to, to Broadway. Like, I might be the first person to play like a Broadway theater and not have to wear pants, which is. I I don't know, maybe maybe some kind of an achievement, but it fucking sucks real bad. And I I really hope.

• 42:08Justin Roczniak?

  What about Daniel Radcliffe?

• 42:11November Kelly?

  Ah, yeah, that's true. But yeah, so.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  Why not take your barrel, right? You so you go to Canada, being in a Commonwealth nation, you'll be welcome there.

• 42:20November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 42:21Speaker 02

  And then you use your barrel to go over Niagara Falls.

• 42:23November Kelly?

  Ah.

• 42:24Justin Roczniak?

  Oh.

• 42:25November Kelly?

  And and just hope I end up on on like the US side on the bottom. Yeah, interesting. Border Border Patrol couldn't do shit to me. Like.

• 42:32Speaker 02

  No, it's I don't think that's ever been addressed. So it's like a legal gray area.

• 42:36November Kelly?

  Hell, yeah.

• 42:37Speaker 02

  Like killing somebody in Yellowstone.

• 42:39November Kelly?

  It's it's simple. You just you just have to you just have to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Um, yeah, no, I I I someone I I I wish that things were different. And I wish things became different in a hurry. Um, due to this fucking sucks and I am sorry.

• 42:56Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, you know, I'm hoping that at some point in the future, we get a political thaw where, you know, this is not so risky.

• 43:04November Kelly?

  For real. Um, I mean, I I also want to get you guys out to.

• 43:08Justin Roczniak?

  We need an American cruise shop.

• 43:12November Kelly?

  Yeah. Um, but like.

• 43:14Justin Roczniak?

  Who will be America's cruise shop?

• 43:17November Kelly?

  I I am gonna pitch a European tour just so we can actually be on stage all at one time.

• 43:23Justin Roczniak?

  That'd be nice, yeah.

• 43:23November Kelly?

  Um, because so far we're an extremely resilient podcast in the sense of like the two Coke executives who aren't allowed to fly on the same plane. Um, but, uh, you know, other than that, there are there are some drawbacks. So.

• 43:36Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 43:37November Kelly?

  We we will do the shows as planned, but, uh, I'm I'm gonna be I'm gonna be a laptop, probably, or one of those telepresence robots.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  I'm I'm looking forward to because of the prices in the UK being what they are, like the tour of like the WTYP live in Bradford.

• 43:53November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, live in, I don't know, what's a shitty, what's another shitty town?

• 43:58Justin Roczniak?

  Blackpool.

• 43:59November Kelly?

  Just name any. Just open up Google Maps.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  I'm looking, I'm looking.

• 44:02Justin Roczniak?

  We're gonna go to Great Yarmouth. Crew. We're gonna go to Neustock.

• 44:07November Kelly?

  Clacton.

• 44:09Speaker 02

  Telford. There's a Telford near me.

• 44:11November Kelly?

  Hmm.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  That's probably.

• 44:12November Kelly?

  It's colonization, probably.

• 44:14Justin Roczniak?

  Folks, we're gonna go to Everness.

• 44:16Speaker 02

  Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Colonization?

• 44:19November Kelly?

  Yeah, like the reason why, uh, like all of your place names are all the same as our place names. Uh, and so you have a bunch of like shithole towns named like new shithole town.

• 44:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:29Justin Roczniak?

  Wow, that's fucking wild. Cycling tour of North Cornwall.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  Yo, I thought it was the other way around. Actually, I would fuck with that. And my, and the, I, I, uh, I'm not gonna say, but there are people with my last name in, in power in Cornwall that I'm wondering are related to me.

• 44:46November Kelly?

  Like the shadow government?

• 44:48Speaker 02

  Like, like in some like town council in like south, like far southwest, like Cornwall.

• 44:54November Kelly?

  Okay.

• 44:54Speaker 02

  And I'll be like, hey, we have the same last name. It's not very common, so I'm wondering. So right now, are there any pains in Cornwall? You know, Googling furiously to try and find and get a step ahead of me. I'm on to you.

• 45:08Justin Roczniak?

  Anyway, so, um, tickets are still available, uh, for our show in beautiful New York City on April 29th. Those have been discounted. Um, tickets are still available for our show in Philadelphia at the Fillmore, where we do have to fill more seats. Um, again, we do have to do this in the complicated way where there may be technical difficulties. I apologize, but you should blame the president and also all the conservative members of your family.

• 45:33November Kelly?

  This is true.

• 45:33Justin Roczniak?

  Go yell at them right now.

• 45:34November Kelly?

  This is absolutely true, and I want you to make a huge problem about it at Thanksgiving.

• 45:39Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, that will be your problem.

• 45:41November Kelly?

  Yes.

• 45:41Speaker 02

  You can, if you listen, if you're also a 10,000 Lawsons listener, we have a masked quite the goon squad on our Discord, so, um, we will be, um, sending escorts. Not that kind of goon squad, no.

• 45:53November Kelly?

  You say Discord goon squad to me.

• 45:56Speaker 02

  I mean, listen, a couple of these guys, uh, I would probably make a stay. Shouts out Charlie. What's up? Um, shouts out Wayne. Probably, I mean, maybe, I don't know. But, uh, yeah, we could, they could stand there and look tough at wearing their like SC Celtic gear.

• 46:10November Kelly?

  Hell, yeah. Yeah. I, I, I just, I just need like the goon squad will already come into, into its own when executive power in the US declines to the point that like, there's no border patrol. It's like a series of militias and you just get the like Pennsylvania secret service to like muscle me through whatever checkpoint. Um, that, that's going to be ideal. Aside from the civil war part. Um.

• 46:32Justin Roczniak?

  Well, we just got it. We just got to boost the Patreon so you can fly private across the Atlantic Ocean.

• 46:37November Kelly?

  Oh my fucking god.

• 46:39Speaker 02

  Or take some sort of, you know, packet.

• 46:41November Kelly?

  Yeah. Yeah. Do you, do you think airport security is like cooler than airport security?

• 46:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:48Justin Roczniak?

  They gotta be.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  Take the next packet out of court. I mean, that's still part of the empire, right? You know?

• 46:57Justin Roczniak?

  I arrived on a trap steamer.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  Do you have to come in through Ellis Island?

• 47:02November Kelly?

  Show up four weeks late.

• 47:05November Kelly?

  Well, they, they changed my name at Ellis Island, not for any like ethnic reasons, but because they like believed it was dumb as hell and they were right.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  Just hopefully your packet doesn't go through a certain body of water.

• 47:18November Kelly?

  Oh god.

• 47:19Justin Roczniak?

  Oh yeah. Which is the subject of today's podcast, which.

• 47:23Speaker 02

  Fifty minutes in.

• 47:23Justin Roczniak?

  Fifty minutes in, yeah.

• 47:27November Kelly?

  We had a lot to talk about. The economy crash. We were all going to be wearing barrels.

• 47:31Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, we're all going to have cholera. Um.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  It's a lot. It's a lot to take in at like once, you know?

• 47:36Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 47:37Speaker 02

  One at a time.

• 47:38Justin Roczniak?

  Hmm.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  We got the, we got the guy, the guy who's.

• 47:41Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 47:41Speaker 02

  Image attribution. I stole this from the civilization.

• 47:45November Kelly?

  Wow. Okay. Looking, looking real airbrushed. Uh, drop the skincare routine.

• 47:49Justin Roczniak?

  What is the Bermuda Triangle? Well, take it away, Tom.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  Well, uh, it, it's, uh, there's this like island called Bermuda, right?

• 47:59Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  And it's named after this guy named, uh, Jose de Bermuda, um, which, um, I never.

• 48:06November Kelly?

  Awful haircut.

• 48:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. Real, real smug.

• 48:10November Kelly?

  Hmm. He got, he got the bob, uh, which is a weird combination with that beard texture.

• 48:15Justin Roczniak?

  He looks like, um, the new Willy Wonka, but with a beard.

• 48:21Speaker 02

  He's got the blush going on. Yeah.

• 48:23Justin Roczniak?

  Hmm.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Maybe he's, maybe, maybe he's just encountered, remember the goon squad and he's a little intrigued.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  So, so Jose de Bermuda is a Spanish name, which comes from the old Spanish Bermuda, which comes from the Suebian Gueramund, which comes from the Proto Germanic, it's a compound of Proto Germanic words, uh, wehas and mundo, which wehas mundo, which means sacred protector. And this comes from Proto Indo-European. Uh, this comes from way, oh shit, I forgot to look up, pronounce the Laryngurials. Uh, we have a way, way, waycos plus, plus the, the ending, uh, manta, um, sure. And this is an interesting thing. It kind of translates to hand that sifts those who would be sacrificed.

• 49:11November Kelly?

  Damn, significantly cooler name.

• 49:13Speaker 02

  No, kill them all and let God sort them out. And it's cognate with the Latin.

• 49:17November Kelly?

  This guy sort them out.

• 49:19Speaker 02

  And it's cognate with the Latin victim. So maybe for, for some, like God is, has a sense of irony, or the, or the Proto Indo-Europeans did. And anyway, so that's where Bermuda comes from. Um, and then triangles, um, those are shapes.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  And, and. I'm learning so much. Yeah. Yeah. So I, I, you know, pull this one up for me, Jamie. Um, my mind's blown, learning this thing. Triangles, three sides, right? 180 degrees. Wow. Wow. That's, that's wild, man. Uh, um, and that comes, that, so it comes from, from Latin, uh, triangulon, uh, that is how you actually would have pronounced it. Uh, that's where, that's, you know, I don't know if Latin nerds know that. I'm not doing any fucking ecclesiastical pronunciation. Fucking Italians, fuck out of here.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  And, uh, yeah, it's a naze that you am, so it's the imperial Romanor, uh, fucking the yell of Romans. Winnie Weedy Wiki. It, it sounds, it sounds better, in my opinion. It kind of, it kind of makes sense that French came from that bullshit, you know? Oh yeah. They just add extra letters at the end. You just naze lies the fuck out of everything. Yeah. So, so, uh, it comes from Latin. It's a compound. Trez, uh, plus angulus. All right. Well, what do each of those mean? Uh, three in angle.

• 50:36November Kelly?

  Ah, fuck, okay.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  And that comes from proto-

• 50:38Justin Roczniak?

  Where do those come from?

• 50:39Speaker 02

  That comes from proto Indo-European Trez, and then, uh, we don't know exactly how it was pronounced, but like, uh, Hongo- Hongo-los.

• 50:49November Kelly?

  I'm not, I'm not mentally recasting every, every kind of Roman in my head as sounding a bit French. I'm not doing that.

• 50:55Speaker 02

  You have to, though, that's-

• 50:56November Kelly?

  I'm not, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna fucking like, come up with like a Cicero, you know?

• 51:02Justin Roczniak?

  All right, listen, I have seen a lot of films from the 1960s about Romans. And they all sound like Brits, yeah.

• 51:10November Kelly?

  Yeah, they're, they're, they're British, they're English people.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  And the, and the, and the Patricians sound very posh, and the Plabeans sound like, like, you know, real geezers.

• 51:18November Kelly?

  Yeah, I, I, I saw that documentary they made in ancient Rome called Rome.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:23Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, and, um, uh, Ben Hur-

• 51:25Speaker 02

  Shouts out Polly Walker, what, what do you have to? Uh, hey, geez, great. Anyway, so both of these, all these, what's really kind of cool is these proto Indo-European terms, they all come from Turkic, um, which is the original language, so, uh, that's really-

• 51:39November Kelly?

  Okay, sure. So, so what I'm learning is that Bermuda is the rightful territory of Turkey.

• 51:44Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 51:45Justin Roczniak?

  I guess so.

• 51:46Speaker 02

  You know, shouts out to my gray wolves, let's, uh, let's go through that.

• 51:50November Kelly?

  I don't know if we can shout out the gray wolves. I think there's already a podcast that does that.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  Oh, we're, oh, I was accused of stealing Come Town bit, so I guess I'm now stealing Chapo Valor too.

• 52:00November Kelly?

  Yeah, it's, it's like a combination of like, we get cancelled for the, the like fascist terrorist organization, and we get cancelled for like biting Chapo.

• 52:08Speaker 02

  By the way, Felix, I'm better at Flight Simulator than you.

• 52:12Speaker 02

  I'm much better at it.

• 52:13Justin Roczniak?

  My Andrew Cuomo impression is stolen, it's an impression of Nick Mullen doing Andrew Cuomo.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  To be fair, that's half my-

• 52:20November Kelly?

  I have Felix blocks, and I don't even remember why I did that. I don't remember what I was mad at him about.

• 52:26Justin Roczniak?

  All right, I, I, well, you know, I, I still listen to their podcast.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  That's, that's one of the few I still listen to as well, although, although, uh, um, yeah, Matt Christmas, shouts out. Uh, I hope your, I hope your brain's doing good.

• 52:38November Kelly?

  If you don't know the context of that, that's a really funny thing to say.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  I don't mean, I mean that unironically.

• 52:45November Kelly?

  No, no, no. If you didn't know the, like, why you were saying that, it'd be like, you know, who the fuck is this guy?

• 52:53Justin Roczniak?

  This is, this is, you know, I, it's happened to enough people in the podcasting sphere, the left wing podcasting sphere, that I'm like, we all gotta be on the lookout.

• 53:04November Kelly?

  I'm, I'm concerned.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  Anyone with, anyone with like, one of those like, sound, sound guns? Like, at the NFL sidelines, if they're pointing that at you, you fucking, that's the heart attack gun, that's the...

• 53:14November Kelly?

  Oh yeah, the fucking Havana syndrome, no question.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  That's gonna fucking clot your blood from 20 paces.

• 53:20November Kelly?

  No, no, no joke, when I was recording No Gods No Mares, uh, nogodsnomes.com, uh, in, uh, earlier in the afternoon, I had a little like, kind of fucking neurological event thing where I got like a, like a weird headache on one side and I felt a bit loopy for a second. I was like, this is it, this is it. They fucking, they got me, they got me with the fucking, uh, like Havana syndrome gun.

• 53:41Justin Roczniak?

  Podcaster brain is happening to me.

• 53:45November Kelly?

  Which, and like I said, it'd be a very like, on brand way to go out, um, and it would spare me the barrel, which I would appreciate, but, uh, you know, I, I am keen to live a long and healthy life.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  Spare the barrel, spoil the podcaster.

• 53:58Justin Roczniak?

  I wanna see, I wanna see the barrel times. I, I just think it'll be, you know, I, I gotta live longer just to see how it ends.

• 54:05November Kelly?

  Genuinely, it's like, I, I came in at like, you could have walked into the theater at any point in this movie, but you came in and you got to see the ending? Like, that's kinda cool.

• 54:14Justin Roczniak?

  Oh yeah, exactly.

• 54:15Speaker 02

  So, yeah, but anyway, I mean, I guess we're an hour in, that's where the Bermuda Triangle, that's where it comes from.

• 54:20November Kelly?

  Okay, cool, good podcast, thanks Tom.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's safety third?

• 54:23November Kelly?

  Yeah, sure.

• 54:26November Kelly?

  Yeah, I'm sorry, I keep getting mixed up, cause I sort of the drop of Eric Adams comparing himself to Jesus and getting booed by everyone in New York. I, I can do that instead of shake hands with danger.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  You know, when Jesus was on the cross, he said, "God forgive them, for they know not what they do."

• 54:40November Kelly?

  Oh, he fully says the word in there. Oh, yeah.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  All right.

• 54:45November Kelly?

  I forgot that he said that. Well, we're gonna have to cut that, I guess.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, we clicked the next slide. Oh, look.

• 54:50November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 54:50Speaker 02

  There's a, there's a, all right, so this is the Bermuda Triangle.

• 54:53November Kelly?

  Yeah, so those, those are the points of the triangle are Miami, Bermuda, San Juan. That's bullshit, first of all, because if you like drown off the waterfront in Miami Beach, that means you die in the Bermuda Triangle.

• 55:06Justin Roczniak?

  Well, technically, that one, that probably that one train that derailed and killed everyone on the overseas railway was a Bermuda Triangle accident, except it wasn't because, again, most of the accidents and disasters attributed to the Bermuda Triangle actually happened at Cape Paveras.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  And the issue here with the Bermuda Triangle is it's non-Euclidean.

• 55:30November Kelly?

  Yes.

• 55:30Speaker 02

  And that's, that's where you get some Cthulhu shit, because that's, that's clearly non- Yeah, yeah.

• 55:36Justin Roczniak?

  Well, yeah, because it's spherical geometry, right? The angles, the angles are going to add up to more than 180.

• 55:42Speaker 02

  Which is my favorite thing when he's like in the mountains of mad, at the mountains of madness, when he's describing, oh, the weird non-Euclidean geometry of this, of this alien base in Antarctica. That just means it's got circles, you idiot. It's got fucking globes.

• 55:54November Kelly?

  Euclid didn't know what a circle was.

• 55:57Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 55:58Speaker 02

  So, yeah, you have-

• 55:59Justin Roczniak?

  It'd be hyperbolic geometry, it could be.

• 56:01Speaker 02

  It could be-

• 56:02Justin Roczniak?

  It could be radial geometry, which is just the same, but, you know, the coordinate system's different.

• 56:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, two pi r squared or whatever. I don't, I'm not a math guy. The, this is also known as-

• 56:12Justin Roczniak?

  Or radian.

• 56:14Speaker 02

  Also known as the Devil's Triangle, which is also known as the Eiffel Tower. And, uh,

• 56:21Speaker 02

  but the term is coined, you can click, by this guy named Vincent Gaddis.

• 56:25November Kelly?

  Whoa.

• 56:26Speaker 02

  There we go.

• 56:27November Kelly?

  Hairline like a puzzle piece.

• 56:29Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, this is, this is, that, he's got the same hairline I do. And if I- If I was a coward and wouldn't surrender, recognize what nature, what God has designed for Dane for my hair, what my ancestors have given me, I would look like that, but I'm not a coward. Um, also, so also I don't write dumb shit in art in the February 1964 issue of Argosy Magazine.

• 56:51November Kelly?

  The fuck is Argosy Magazine?

• 56:53Speaker 02

  It actually, it's a magazine that lasted from the 19th century till 2016.

• 56:58November Kelly?

  Jesus, it was like the Atlantic or whatever.

• 57:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, but for like pulp shit.

• 57:02November Kelly?

  Huh, okay.

• 57:04Speaker 02

  So it was in its pulp era, um, kind of like, have you ever heard of like the 14 times, like Charles?

• 57:10November Kelly?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like weird occultist shit.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, kind of. Parasychology and ancient aliens and, uh, yeah, so he's, he's, um, kind of in that ballowick. I don't know why that was the first word that came to my mind, but, um, he was like, so he, he coined the term Bermuda Triangle, but he wasn't the first like person to come up with it.

• 57:30November Kelly?

  But he, he, he did it in this magazine. So this is a post, basically. This is a,

• 57:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:35November Kelly?

  This is a, an ex post, right? Like it's, it's a conspiracy threat.

• 57:41Justin Roczniak?

  They used to pay you for them.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 57:44November Kelly?

  Oh, you used to be able to make a living as a crank in this country.

• 57:47Speaker 02

  Oh, for sure. And you know, his big thing was like the Bermuda Triangle and his other thing was spontaneous human combustion.

• 57:53November Kelly?

  Whoa.

• 57:54Speaker 02

  So real good brain on this guy.

• 57:56November Kelly?

  You ever, you ever find a case of spontaneous human combustion in the Bermuda Triangle?

• 58:01Speaker 02

  Oh shit.

• 58:02Justin Roczniak?

  They, that's always been like, you know, I didn't realize that was fake until fairly recently.

• 58:08November Kelly?

  I want spontaneous human combustion.

• 58:10Speaker 02

  I have an aunt who, if she, if she listens to that song, the incubus song that mentions it, she like starts freaking out. She's like, turn it off. Like she genuinely is afraid if she thinks about it's going to happen to her.

• 58:20November Kelly?

  Oh, I mean, I, I used to get that when I was a kid because I like, I read about it and I was like, oh,

• 58:24Speaker 02

  She's 70 though.

• 58:25November Kelly?

  That's, yeah. Well, I mean, 70 year olds are like children in a lot of ways.

• 58:29Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, well, actually no, that was probably just someone smoking in bed.

• 58:34November Kelly?

  She also one time. The mark.

• 58:36Speaker 02

  That's what they all were.

• 58:37November Kelly?

  You, you, you look into this and it's, it's like some, some like person who's like, well, time to douse myself in kerosene, as is my habit, and then get into this big easy chair and smoke my, my evening cigarette and then fall asleep.

• 58:51Speaker 02

  My kids are trying, my kids are trying to take my cigarettes away. And I told them that I don't, I don't, no, no.

• 58:56November Kelly?

  My, my, my grandma.

• 58:58Speaker 02

  I'll die without my cigarettes.

• 59:00November Kelly?

  I think my grandma could have spontaneously human combusted if she had been a bit less careful because when, when she had the cancer, she, uh, she was on an oxygen tank and she was also a lifelong chain smoker and like, she did not stop smoking when she had the oxygen tank. It was just like a mask. I'm just like, if those two sort of like actions had ever like done, order of operations happened in the wrong order, uh, I, I worry that she would have like blown up the house, which she did not do mercifully. That's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Uh, that just shouts out.

• 59:35November Kelly?

  Shit. Real, real daredevil shit, you know, like.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  Shouts out to people like that. Shouts out. I might've mentioned this girl before on the previous episode. Shouts out to the girl who used to sit on the can of trichloroethylene next to the oxygen and hydrogen tanks while she was pregnant and smoked cigarettes.

• 59:49November Kelly?

  Hell yeah. That's, that's excellence.

• 59:52Speaker 02

  Can't just, wow, wow. Like what a woman.

• 59:56November Kelly?

  Um, I think, I think women can do anything.

• 59:59Speaker 02

  I, me too. Especially go to space unintentionally. That's what would have happened.

• 1:00:07Speaker 02

  I actually wonder what was more dangerous to that child than sitting on the can of trichloroethylene or the cigarettes?

• 1:00:13November Kelly?

  I feel like there's, there's, there's stuff in that that like make the cigarettes pretty like mild.

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:19November Kelly?

  You know, like entire generation survived being brought up with like chain smoking wombs, you know? Up and out.

• 1:00:29November Kelly?

  So it used to be like, you know, fucking four out of five gynecologists be like, yeah, fuck it, you know, the smoke, don't care, it'd probably be good for you, baby, I'm making cool.

• 1:00:38Speaker 02

  Four out of five doctors say Virginia Slims prevents hysterical, what was it called? When the womb was supposed to move around?

• 1:00:45November Kelly?

  Oh, like hysteria, literally.

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  Prevents hysteria in the fairer sex.

• 1:00:50November Kelly?

  Hmm.

• 1:00:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, although that's kind of crazy, like, imagine like, like you're having sex and then she starts getting hysteria, it's like, holy shit, took my dick off, what the fuck?

• 1:01:01November Kelly?

  Where the fuck did it go? I mean, that is a mass delusion of like penis theft, like, it's a, it's a thing. By the way, in the course of reading about spontaneous human combustion, one of the like skeptical, one of the skeptic things that I read is like, you know, pretty easy to disprove in the sense that there's like eight billion people walking around and you don't see somebody like burst into flames at Starbucks very often, in fact, ever. And I'm like, no, but it would be fucked up if that did happen though.

• 1:01:30Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, that would be pretty funny.

• 1:01:31Speaker 02

  Was that Rational Wiki, were you on Rational Wiki?

• 1:01:34November Kelly?

  No, I was on the regular, normal irrational type Wiki, but there's a, there's a quote in there from Benjamin Radford, and suggests explanations.

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  Let's bring them back, we're bringing back the skeptics, Rational Wiki, I'm right, I'm right, but I'm really gonna be a really a fucking annoying prick about it.

• 1:01:50Justin Roczniak?

  No, I was on Conservapedia.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  That's all, it's a real, the real encyclopedia.

• 1:01:55November Kelly?

  Yeah. We, we need a really like partisan and to both Conservapedia and Rational Wiki, because I don't want to be rational and be like abject propaganda, I want Wokepedia. I want, I want the like, you know, most like left wing take on any possible thing.

• 1:02:12Justin Roczniak?

  Well, I assume because it's a left wing project, there's 45 of them.

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  And, and, and the most complete won't be fucking trots. That's the one that's gonna be the most complete.

• 1:02:25November Kelly?

  Seventy-six book Fire From Heaven, UK writer Michael Harrison suggests that SHC is connected to poltergeist activity.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  Oh, I didn't consider that.

• 1:02:34November Kelly?

  No.

• 1:02:34Speaker 02

  That makes sense though.

• 1:02:35Justin Roczniak?

  That makes a lot more sense, yeah.

• 1:02:37November Kelly?

  I, I, I, I hope the poltergeists don't think that I'm like taunting them.

• 1:02:42Speaker 02

  Well, you are in a, like a, like a, like, any, any nation that has like a building that where you describe it that has, as having rising damp is severely haunted.

• 1:02:50November Kelly?

  Oh, no question. Whole country is haunted, I think.

• 1:02:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  Oh, absolutely.

• 1:02:54November Kelly?

  So anyway, this, this guy invented spontaneous human combustion and the Bermuda Triangle. He's like Thomas H. Michely for like, you know.

• 1:03:02Speaker 02

  I don't know if he invented SHC, but you know, I, he was like a proponent of it.

• 1:03:08November Kelly?

  I shouldn't have called it SHC, like abbreviating, it makes it sound like a, like a real, like, like a syndrome, you know, like.

• 1:03:13Speaker 02

  That's probably what they call it on like their like Facebook pages.

• 1:03:15November Kelly?

  Oh, yeah, a hundred percent. Cause you can't just be saying spontaneous human combustion all the time.

• 1:03:20Speaker 02

  No, it's too many words. Yeah. It's all fucking Latin too.

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  Roz, you can go to the next slide.

• 1:03:27Justin Roczniak?

  Okay.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  It's your slide. I mean, I put the image on there.

• 1:03:30Justin Roczniak?

  You put the image and yeah, the weather in the Bermuda Triangle, where one of the things is, you know, it's, it's, it, generally speaking, this, this is where the hurricanes go. You know, it's pretty bad a lot of the time, or at least during hurricane season, you know, the weather can change very rapidly. Now, this is also the case with a lot of the rest of the ocean. Should not be surprising that there's a lot of incidents with ships and airplanes here. Because you know, this is where the storms are, especially when the forecasting is bad.

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  My favorite ones are like the ones that like the one that goes over the UK and does a little loop-de-loop and just like, fuck you Denmark.

• 1:04:07November Kelly?

  Just like stunting on us.

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. It does the little fucking loop, like you have, well, got a little, got some moves there, doing some acrobatics.

• 1:04:14Justin Roczniak?

  Exactly. Well, yeah, it's gonna go and fuck up a little bit Oslo first and then.

• 1:04:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's like a bunch of like, like Danish grandmas, like with memories of like the great, what, what, oh, the, the most funny, the funniest named disaster in the world, the, the Grota Mandrinka or whatever.

• 1:04:31Justin Roczniak?

  The Great Damp.

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:34Justin Roczniak?

  It drizzled a little more than normal.

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Like, if you want, like, if you think Dutch is funny, try out Low German. That's another really funny sounding one, too. It's almost English, but just extra funny.

• 1:04:49Speaker 02

  But yeah, look, there's a lot. Those are tracks of tropical storms.

• 1:04:52Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, they, they, they have really big storms. They come through, they make a loop, they go out to Europe. Usually they dissipate before they make it there. Sometimes they do fun stuff like, you know, they go fuck up the islands pretty frequently. They fuck up Florida. Sometimes they come up the East Coast and fuck us up. You know, and maybe they go and hit Montreal for some reason.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, they go, they go, for some reason they form like it's punished Spain.

• 1:05:17Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, exactly. They go to Spain.

• 1:05:19November Kelly?

  I, I feel like being like the Bermuda Triangle is real is like the wrong conspiracy guy angle to take. If I wanted to be a conspiracist here, the one I would do is what you were looking at is a history of like US weather control experiments, you know, like.

• 1:05:36Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, like, yeah, they all just sort of, most of them bend away.

• 1:05:40November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:40Speaker 02

  How convenient.

• 1:05:42November Kelly?

  Interesting.

• 1:05:42Speaker 02

  Convenient.

• 1:05:43Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  This fucking conspiracy theory. First off, the earth is flat, so Westerlies and Hadley cells are not real.

• 1:05:49November Kelly?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  It's, it's all emanations from the firmament.

• 1:05:53November Kelly?

  Plus, of course, the US is well-known enmity to Spain. You know, dating back to the Freemasons and stuff.

• 1:05:59Justin Roczniak?

  The problem with this theory is that what you're saying is United States has a secret weather machine. And get this, they're using it to benefit us.

• 1:06:09Speaker 02

  Well, that would explain why America's, America's oldest ally, Morocco has only been like hit once.

• 1:06:16November Kelly?

  Yeah. Whereas the perfidious Spaniards, on the other hand, any number of times.

• 1:06:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. And the Irish, the Irish get it too for some fucking reason.

• 1:06:26November Kelly?

  It's some kind of wasp weather machine.

• 1:06:30Speaker 02

  It only, it only hits like, like, like now it will only hit Northern Ireland. It flies, it flies the same corridor over like into like, uh, what's the fucking lake up in Donegal?

• 1:06:43November Kelly?

  Oh, Loch Neve?

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  Uh, Loch, Loch Ern, like that little Loch Ern corner over Ballyshannon. And, uh, where, where the, that's like the, the easiest way to get, that's where the hur- anyway, it's the hurricane. That's how that works.

• 1:06:57Justin Roczniak?

  The United States has a secret weather machine and they're using it to punish ulster unionists.

• 1:07:04November Kelly?

  Uh, President Biden, come back. I'm sorry. I said all those things about you.

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  We were actually using the hurricanes. We were timing our, our shipments of, of funds for the, for the widows and orphans. For the good cause there, uh, to speed them along. They were going ahead of, ahead of it, that they were taking the fast packet.

• 1:07:22November Kelly?

  But Biden munching block of Kerrygold butter.

• 1:07:27Justin Roczniak?

  Another hurricane.

• 1:07:29Speaker 02

  You know, I do have a, I do have a Kerrygold butter conspiracy.

• 1:07:32November Kelly?

  Oh, yeah?

• 1:07:33Speaker 02

  Okay. The, that his drafting quality in the United States. So they're keeping the good shit. They, they got it. There, there's no way they're sending all that. Listen, I've been to fucking Ireland several times. I've commented before on the toilets. I know what this fucking country is like. There's not enough cows to make enough butter for Americans. I've been to Costco. You can buy like four pounds of Kerrygold. There, there is probably a ton, in each Costco in the United States, there's probably a ton, like 2,000 pounds of fucking Kerrygold. That, where is that coming from? There's not that many cows in Ireland.

• 1:08:03Justin Roczniak?

  Probably Wisconsin.

• 1:08:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's not enough land.

• 1:08:07November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  You have cows fucking growing on the cliffs of Mower, like falling over, dumbass cows. No sense of self-preservation.

• 1:08:17November Kelly?

  Cow falling off a cliff.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  I'm sure it happens. I'm sure it fucking happens. I, I took the cliffs of Mower path, path, uh, last summer. Dude, like we did, like, I'm like, oh my God, I will die. And then like, like two days later, it felt like, and they closed it off. So I got in like before, before that shit happened. I was like, dude, this is like dangerous and there's electric fences on the other side. So if I were to like jump at the escape, I'm going to get zapped.

• 1:08:43Justin Roczniak?

  I was always very confused. Um, I took a, I, I was, went to Norway a long time ago. We took some of the cruises up and down the fjords on the Hertha Gruten Line.

• 1:08:54Speaker 02

  Were you pining for the fjords?

• 1:08:56Justin Roczniak?

  I was not pining for the fjords because I was there in the fjords. I pined when I got home.

• 1:09:03Justin Roczniak?

  And you could see the farmhouse at the top of the cliff and you could see they had a bunch of cows up there. And there was no roads or anything up there. And you could see they had some cows. And at the bottom of the cliff, there was a boat, like a small rowing boat. They clearly belonged to the farmer and it was not at all clear how you got from the house to the boat, like a thousand feet down.

• 1:09:27Justin Roczniak?

  Just like, okay, these people have some magic going on.

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  Some of that fucking elf door shit.

• 1:09:34Justin Roczniak?

  Troll magic, yeah.

• 1:09:37Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. So, weather is bad in Bermuda Triangle. And the other thing of course is, again, I was looking through just cursory research. Something like half of the Bermuda Triangle incidents actually happened near Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  Treacherous, very treacherous.

• 1:09:58Justin Roczniak?

  Very, very treacherous, yeah. You can go see the lighthouse.

• 1:10:02Speaker 02

  Graveyard of the Atlantic.

• 1:10:04Justin Roczniak?

  Which is interesting. They actually took this whole lighthouse, put it on rails and moved it like a thousand feet inland. Cause the erosion is really bad.

• 1:10:15Justin Roczniak?

  I've been to the top of this. I was terrified.

• 1:10:18Speaker 02

  I, I buzzed.

• 1:10:19November Kelly?

  In case they put it on rails again?

• 1:10:21Justin Roczniak?

  Oh yeah, well.

• 1:10:23Speaker 02

  Ross is just up there like, they're gonna put it back on the train. I know. This is gonna be the fucking sickest thing ever happen.

• 1:10:30November Kelly?

  Precision scheduled railroading.

• 1:10:32Speaker 02

  You have Rodney Kintorski like outside like filming, just incoherent as the, as the fucking, the lighthouse goes by at 60 miles per hour.

• 1:10:45Speaker 02

  This fucking door's all southern colors.

• 1:10:47Justin Roczniak?

  Nah, you're driving around like SpongeBob driving a rock.

• 1:10:55Speaker 02

  Dude, the loading gauge though, man. Shit, that on this thing, you can't take this anywhere.

• 1:10:59Justin Roczniak?

  No tunnels on that one, yeah. Um, yeah, so this is, um, Cape Hatteras, uh, North Carolina. It's out on the Outer Banks. Um, it is, uh, you know, fantastic vacation destination. That was always where my family went. Well, usually we were closer to like Kitty Hawk or somewhere around there. Um, but, uh, this is, uh, well, it was between Cape Hatteras. I don't remember exactly where, cause it's been a long time since we went. Anyway. So, um, you know, it, it, it seems like a lot of, you know, these Bermuda Triangle disasters of which we're going to discuss several. It's like, well, they went through the Bermuda Triangle and then they wrecked at Cape Hatteras, which is a known location for people to wreck.

• 1:11:39Speaker 02

  Like, if you look at, at the chart, my favorite thing is it says, like, the Shoals, it just says variable. Like, it doesn't give you a depth. It's constantly shifting. Yeah. Just don't go here.

• 1:11:52Justin Roczniak?

  Just don't go here. It's a bad idea.

• 1:11:54Speaker 02

  Danger area. See note, like, yeah, please don't. But, but, listen, the East Coast United States, we, I, we talked about it when we, uh, when we did the, uh, the last one I was on.

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  The fucking Pendleton Rescue.

• 1:12:07Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:12:08Speaker 02

  These, these look like placid, you know, shores you go, yeah, you were going down the shore or crack a few brewskis, you know.

• 1:12:14Justin Roczniak?

  Great beaches, fantastic weather, most of the year.

• 1:12:18Speaker 02

  I'm gonna put my, listen, you guys, meet me at, uh, Wawa Crest. Um, I, I'm the one with the Trump flag and, uh, it'll be really easy to find me there.

• 1:12:28Speaker 02

  The, the, the.

• 1:12:29Justin Roczniak?

  Whatever the North Carolina Wawa is.

• 1:12:34Speaker 02

  Uh, the, it, it is a, it's treacherous. And if you, like, I'm a history, history nerd, you know, you can look up nautical charts from, you know, back when the first, when the first colonizers were here and they, the, the same spots are dangerous. Like, we haven't changed it. Nature will fight you every chance you get, make, make you sick. It's, it's very treacherous. And the reason that Cape Hatteras is treacherous is you it's shallow and it has shoals that drift off. It's a point of land and it catches sand like the Longshore drift. When you, when you decide to like include a triangle that has the Bahamas in it. Go see the El Faro episode, which was the victim of the triangle. You know, hey, this is like kind of hard to navigate it, but uh.

• 1:13:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. So, you know, anyway, uh, maybe we should rename it the Bermuda Quadrilateral. Yeah.

• 1:13:22November Kelly?

  The Bermuda.

• 1:13:24Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:13:25Speaker 02

  Ooh, look at, look at the, look at the spanker on her.

• 1:13:28Justin Roczniak?

  Big, big sailboat.

• 1:13:30November Kelly?

  Ooh.

• 1:13:30Justin Roczniak?

  HMS Acelanta.

• 1:13:33Speaker 02

  It looks like, it looks like it says the missing training ship.

• 1:13:36Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, it does, actually. I love JPG compression.

• 1:13:40Speaker 02

  Oh, these guys fucking misspell Atlanta. Fuck the break, dude.

• 1:13:45Justin Roczniak?

  This was launched as HMS Juno. It's a 26 gun, six, three, eight frigate.

• 1:13:51November Kelly?

  Imagine. You can study too much classics is the thing with the naming schemes for.

• 1:13:56Speaker 02

  That, that's the entirety of the 19th century.

• 1:13:59November Kelly?

  I, I guarantee you there's an HMS Meliaga as well. Um, yeah.

• 1:14:05Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Still don't know what happened to HMS Pinafore. Um. Is there an HMS Hippomanus?

• 1:14:11Speaker 02

  Listen, like, look, just open a Patrick O'Brien novel randomly.

• 1:14:14November Kelly?

  Oh, I do. Yeah.

• 1:14:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. Uh, I fuck with them so much. I'm almost, I'm on, I'm on nutmeg of consolation now. I'm getting so close. I'm getting so close to the end. I'm just gonna read them over again.

• 1:14:25November Kelly?

  You can, you can, you can do the Hornblower novels, which are themselves kind of the nutmeg of consolation for you having run out of Aubrey Matur.

• 1:14:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's true. Hornblower, I find, I find the box.

• 1:14:35November Kelly?

  Hmm.

• 1:14:36Speaker 02

  He's like a cat, but not as cool.

• 1:14:39Justin Roczniak?

  This guy's 131 feet long, 40 feet beam. That's the width if people don't know here. I don't know what the draft is. Uh, it was converted to a training ship in early 1878, which will be a, training will be a theme.

• 1:14:56Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, she's a bit of like a, like a, in 18, 1878, she's a bit of a dinosaur. Well, I mean, beautiful ship.

• 1:15:02November Kelly?

  The nineteenth century, the, the first time in, in the Navy that you're like, we gotta train these guys. As opposed to just learn on the job. If you fall off something and break your leg, then that's your problem.

• 1:15:13Speaker 02

  Wait, we shouldn't, we shouldn't have like a specific rate just called landsman of guys we, we stole from like the shore. At violence and they're really, really, really mad that they're on this fucking ship and this fucking shit sucks. I had to eat fucking salt beef. Fuck this.

• 1:15:31Justin Roczniak?

  Scurvy now.

• 1:15:33Speaker 02

  That's why whenever like, listen, talk about reading Patrick O'Brien novels. We, all of us who read it, we do not imagine ourselves as a, as a formist jack. We, we imagine ourselves on the quarter deck.

• 1:15:43November Kelly?

  Of course, yeah.

• 1:15:44Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, no, I'm, I haven't been stolen from the bar at like two o'clock in the morning. Next day I'm hungover and they're like, okay, go climb the main mast.

• 1:15:53November Kelly?

  I, I, in a, in a couple of months' time, I'm doing a, a, a larp, uh, set in the Battle of Britain. Like I, it's kind of like half larp, half reenactment, which is what interested me in it. Not, not a, not a Patrick O'Brien one. Uh, I would, I loved that. I would have loved it if they had. Um, but my first question was, uh, can I be an officer? And they, they let me, the stupid.

• 1:16:15Speaker 02

  Yes. If, if there is ever Nova, a Patrick O'Brien larp, you let me know, cause I'm gonna, I, I won't even ask my wife. Like, can we afford this? I'm go, I'm buying.

• 1:16:25November Kelly?

  Yeah, you, you're like, why, why, why, you know, why has all of our money gone into like frock coat expenses? And it's like, listen, you have to be properly attired to be on the quarter deck.

• 1:16:36Speaker 02

  I'm, I'm just convinced I'm, listen, listen, it's 1808, the American and British accents didn't diverge so much yet. You really couldn't distinguish an American accent from, from, from a.

• 1:16:46November Kelly?

  True. The, the vowel shift hadn't happened yet.

• 1:16:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, we, the, the, the, um, the BBC English, what's the received pronunciation hadn't really formed it.

• 1:16:55November Kelly?

  If anything, like we sounded American, so I should be doing an accent.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, it would be, I, I would give you guys elocution lessons.

• 1:17:04Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:05Justin Roczniak?

  So HMS Atalanta set sail from Bermuda on the 31st of January, 1880 for Falmouth, England, and disappeared without a trace.

• 1:17:16Speaker 02

  I mean, I would too.

• 1:17:17November Kelly?

  Up see, whoop see.

• 1:17:19Justin Roczniak?

  Yep, that just, just disappeared. No, no to happen to it. There was an investigation afterwards and it was complicated owing to a total lack of witnesses.

• 1:17:29Speaker 02

  Well, that tends to happen when a boat disappears.

• 1:17:31November Kelly?

  Yeah. How to disappear completely and never be found? Sink boats?

• 1:17:35Speaker 02

  Be born before satellites.

• 1:17:36November Kelly?

  Yeah. You can still do this if you're a submariner.

• 1:17:40Justin Roczniak?

  There was an able seaman named John Varling. He testified that in his experience onboard the ship, he was not onboard during this voyage. The ship was generally overweight, tended to list a lot. And the timid new sailors were afraid to go aloft and mess with the sails, or they were too incapacitated by seasickness.

• 1:18:03November Kelly?

  I, I love the training ship where this, all of the like safety critical stuff has to be done by the people being trained who are terrified and there is like one guy to teach them.

• 1:18:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:15Speaker 02

  And I'm imagining that, that like in this, in this photo, like, oh no, we just have every fucking sail out. Like, because the guys are too scared.

• 1:18:24Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. It's like, oh damn. I mean, can we, can we get our, uh, you know, okay, all the guys are too terrified to do this. Can we get like the, they had 11 experienced seamen in a crew of 300.

• 1:18:38November Kelly?

  Oh my fucking god.

• 1:18:39Speaker 02

  This is why you have Royal Marines. I mean, right? I mean, all right, go up there or I'm going to shoot you down here. Please, we're all going to die if you don't go up there and fold those fucking sails.

• 1:18:51Justin Roczniak?

  So the, uh, the gunboat, the gunboat HMS Avon, uh, reported, or is it Avon? I don't know.

• 1:18:59Speaker 02

  It's the one where it's, it's the multi-level marketing one. Your mom in the nineties.

• 1:19:03Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:03Speaker 02

  It's about our moisturizer.

• 1:19:05November Kelly?

  It's the company that makes all the gas masks.

• 1:19:07Justin Roczniak?

  Right. They reported they saw a bunch of wreckage floating around near the Azores after they arrived in England in the middle of April. That, so this boat, like many of the boats we're going to talk about, probably didn't actually sink in the Bermuda Triangle. It did pass through. This will be a theme.

• 1:19:24Speaker 02

  That's it. And the Azores notably are not, uh, within the Bermuda Triangle, I believe.

• 1:19:28Justin Roczniak?

  No, they're quite, quite a ways away. Yeah. And yeah, as again, the the times, the times of London, I guess, muse that it was maybe was a bad idea to have 11 experienced seamen total in a crew of 300.

• 1:19:44Speaker 02

  It's probably like what they said, like stiff upper lip as the ship was going down.

• 1:19:49Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, it's like, well, damn, we got, we got 10 officers and one guy who's willing to go.

• 1:19:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:19:55Justin Roczniak?

  For the sale.

• 1:19:56Speaker 02

  I mean, I mean, I mean, usually, usually it would be like, if you look up like how like the on the age of sail vessels, like the landsman would be like. Center of the crew at most.

• 1:20:07November Kelly?

  Yeah, I mean, it like you read, you read the novels, right? And it's like, oh, we, we stole a bunch of guys and they don't know how to like reef or steer or whatever, but like, um, some of them will become good enough in time, right?

• 1:20:21Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:20:22Speaker 02

  The rest will, you know, break their legs.

• 1:20:24November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then we get them on a pier somewhere and then there's someone else's problem.

• 1:20:28Justin Roczniak?

  You become a broken man on a Halifax pier, yeah?

• 1:20:31November Kelly?

  That's right.

• 1:20:32Speaker 02

  And Aubrey makes some sort of joke, doesn't Noah stay from a halyard, you know, and everyone in the, in the, in the fucking wardrobe just starts thumping the tables and all that.

• 1:20:41November Kelly?

  And you hear that as they sail away with mangled legs and you're just like, I really thought I would be an officer in this one.

• 1:20:49Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:20:50Justin Roczniak?

  Uh, well, landsman, all wherever you may be, if you want to rise to the top of the trees, stay close to your desks and never go to sea. You all may be rulers of the Queen's Navy.

• 1:21:01November Kelly?

  It's, it's, it's like when I did, um, uh, well, actually my dad did like the family genealogy. And nothing notable has ever been done by us or have like happened to us. We, we are the like most statistically probable. Like family in history and it's mostly, it's all like peasant, um, which is like, of course it is. Why would it be anything else? Most people were. It's like peasant, peasant, peasant, peasant, peasant, works on the computer, podcaster.

• 1:21:29Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. So you've become the most notable member of your family.

• 1:21:34November Kelly?

  I hope to God that isn't true, but I guess I will leave some kind of genealogical like record behind. Despite the fact, well, no, because my family ends with me, I guess. Like, I've got cousins, I guess, but like, I'm probably not gonna have kids. So, and the world's ending.

• 1:21:54Justin Roczniak?

  Sisters, cousins, aunts, continuing, continuing Ben of Four theme.

• 1:21:59Speaker 02

  My most, my most, my most famous ancestor fucked over the Lenape and helped William Penn's sons screw them over in the walking purchase. I mean.

• 1:22:09Justin Roczniak?

  Wow.

• 1:22:11November Kelly?

  Guy on the walking purchase on a Segway.

• 1:22:14Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, basically, that's what they were doing. They were running.

• 1:22:17Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, the fastest runners in, in Southeast Pennsylvania.

• 1:22:22Speaker 02

  If they were on Segways, they would have fallen into a creek and died. Better than the Segway, which is still the funniest fucking thing ever. Oh, this one spooked me.

• 1:22:34Justin Roczniak?

  All right.

• 1:22:35November Kelly?

  This is a spooky looking chip.

• 1:22:37Speaker 02

  I genuinely, I put a note in here. This, I used to have a book of like maritime mysteries and for some reason, this picture used to scare me as a kid. I would like hold like, I would like, turn the page, like not look at it. I don't know. It is, it is a spooky photo, but for some reason that one just hit something in my brain.

• 1:22:56November Kelly?

  It's the ghosts. It's the poltergeists.

• 1:22:58Justin Roczniak?

  Tom Crane here, terrified of cranes.

• 1:23:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're unnatural. I only like inclined planes.

• 1:23:09Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I, you know, whenever I see a cell phone, cell phone loading bulker, oh boy.

• 1:23:16Justin Roczniak?

  So USS Cyclops.

• 1:23:18November Kelly?

  Creepy name.

• 1:23:19Speaker 02

  It is a creepy name. It's, don't, don't name your ships after shit like that.

• 1:23:23November Kelly?

  Again, you can study too much classics.

• 1:23:25Justin Roczniak?

  Yep. 542 feet long, 65 foot beam, 27 foot 8 inch draft, two boilers, two triple expansion steam engines, 19,360 long tons displacement.

• 1:23:40Speaker 02

  Same.

• 1:23:42Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, come on. Don't, don't, don't put yourself down like that.

• 1:23:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're not, you're not the, I mean, they, you're not, first off, you're not the Cyclops. You know, I'm going to name my next, my ship, I'm going to name it like something like really like with like good, good omens like HMS that creepy Caravaggio painting of Medusa.

• 1:23:59Justin Roczniak?

  Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:00Speaker 02

  That would be pretty cool.

• 1:24:02Justin Roczniak?

  USS Skilla and the USS Caribnis.

• 1:24:06November Kelly?

  HMS Halophanes.

• 1:24:08Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:10Justin Roczniak?

  So this is a kind of ship that we don't really use anymore, at least in the Navy, which is a Collier, right? So.

• 1:24:19Speaker 02

  Wait, that, that newspaper, when, or the magazine, when, uh, when, isn't it gone? When out of business?

• 1:24:23November Kelly?

  Colliers, yeah.

• 1:24:24Justin Roczniak?

  Colliers, yeah. This brings the coal to various refueling ports for the United States Navy.

• 1:24:32November Kelly?

  Yeah, remember when you used to have to have coaling stations, which is how you got Guantanamo Bay?

• 1:24:37Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, and they can even refuel ships at sea.

• 1:24:40November Kelly?

  Guy throwing a big sack of anthracite at you over the side.

• 1:24:43Speaker 02

  I'm just imagining Felix playing like ship simulator and in, in flight, in mission, recollerying, recalling. And he's going to start talking about that on Chapo.

• 1:24:56Justin Roczniak?

  Yep, you, you know, I, I mean, this, this would be a very useful ship in, let's say, the Russo-Japanese War.

• 1:25:03Speaker 02

  Yes. Yes, it would.

• 1:25:06Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, so, anyway.

• 1:25:08November Kelly?

  We'll talk about the Battle of Tsushima on an episode at some point, mostly because I just really want to.

• 1:25:13Justin Roczniak?

  This ship puts to sea on the 16th of February, 1918, from beautiful Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, right?

• 1:25:22Speaker 02

  Brazil mentioned.

• 1:25:24November Kelly?

  Well, that's your problem, come to Brazil.

• 1:25:26Justin Roczniak?

  306 crew, I wrote down here. I think there might have actually been a bunch of passengers as part of that. Uh, compliment. Um, they're heading for the port of Salvador, Brazil to take on 10,800 tons of manganese ore. Now, this ship, this ship was only raided for 8,000 tons, but the manganese ore is heavier than coal. So they just went in and filled the bunkers up to the top.

• 1:25:53November Kelly?

  Sensing a theme again of heavy ships mysteriously disappearing.

• 1:25:58Speaker 02

  I feel like manganese comes up like when I'm on this.

• 1:26:01November Kelly?

  Is manganese bauxite? Is that what that is?

• 1:26:04Justin Roczniak?

  No, manganese is, it's a separate metal. I believe this was, this is used for like ammunition in some way. Manganese is in stainless steel, but they didn't have stainless steel yet.

• 1:26:15Speaker 02

  And, and well, the, the lack of, one of the, one of the like lesser known reasons why the Third Reich collapsed, besides the fact that like they were losers and they suck, uh, was they ran out of manganese. So their steel became a brittle.

• 1:26:27Justin Roczniak?

  Right. Okay. That makes sense. So I guess it's a for, for increased ductility. You know, uh, which is a useful thing to have.

• 1:26:36Speaker 02

  Is that what, that, does that make it more rigid or less rigid?

• 1:26:39Justin Roczniak?

  It makes it less rigid.

• 1:26:40Speaker 02

  Oh, that sounds bullshit. I think, yeah, I went over on this one.

• 1:26:45Justin Roczniak?

  So from beautiful, fabulous Brazil, they set sail on the 22nd of February for fabulous and exotic Baltimore, Maryland.

• 1:26:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's your first mistake, yeah.

• 1:26:55November Kelly?

  Brazil, Brazil, Baltimore. Baltimore.

• 1:26:59Speaker 02

  Yo, let's, we're going to go down the ocean, try, watch these ships come in, see these little girls come off.

• 1:27:06Justin Roczniak?

  They put in at Barbados for coal and provisions. They set off again at March 4th, um, and they never arrive.

• 1:27:14November Kelly?

  Tough verdict on Baltimore as a destination.

• 1:27:17Justin Roczniak?

  Yo, anywhere, please, anywhere. Hey, I, I, I've heard leaving is difficult as well.

• 1:27:24Speaker 02

  Oh, we'll get there.

• 1:27:25Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, so the ship was expected in, but you know, just because it's like, okay, you're not going to start the search until it was expected in. So they don't start searching for the ship until March 23rd, right?

• 1:27:39Speaker 02

  That's when the first consumptive like wife was like, I sent something happened to my husband at sea. Cause I don't had to had.

• 1:27:47Justin Roczniak?

  On a pier on the inner harbor next to the aquarium. Yeah.

• 1:27:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, my God, my husband, he ain't, I feel like something bad happened to him out in the ocean. And I'm going to walk here until, until either the O's win the World Series or my husband come home. Uh, no, uh, what was I going to ask? There was actual real question there before I started, uh, doing dumb shit. They'll come back to me.

• 1:28:11Justin Roczniak?

  So there's a bunch of commercial vessels on the lookout, right? There's, um, you know, the, the, the Navy is intercepting communications between German U boats. Right? Uh, they don't know anything. They haven't reported, you know, uh, shooting a big Collier, right? No one had seen the Cyclops, except there was a purported sighting by a molasses tanker.

• 1:28:35Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:28:36Justin Roczniak?

  Near the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay, which is notably not in the Bermuda Triangle, right?

• 1:28:41Speaker 02

  Right. I think.

• 1:28:42Justin Roczniak?

  And the captain of that tanker also said, I didn't actually say that.

• 1:28:47November Kelly?

  Really big triangle.

• 1:28:50Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. The, the. No rec, no, maybe the triangle encompasses the entire ocean.

• 1:28:57Speaker 02

  If you expand the triangle out like wide enough, I wonder like what math nerd shout out in the comments. What's the biggest the triangle can be?

• 1:29:05November Kelly?

  If you put one point of it at like one of the Lagrange points, right? Then technically, if you believe this, every naval accident in human history has happened in the Bermuda Triangle.

• 1:29:17Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:18Speaker 02

  So and so did Columbia and Challenger. Wait, shoot, oh shit. Did Challenger happen in the Bermuda Triangle?

• 1:29:24Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah, sure.

• 1:29:25Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 1:29:26November Kelly?

  Edmund Fitzgerald.

• 1:29:29November Kelly?

  The whole of World War II.

• 1:29:32Speaker 02

  The big lake they call Bermuda Bermuda Triangle.

• 1:29:36Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:38November Kelly?

  Big Muta.

• 1:29:40Speaker 02

  I apologies to the to any Ojibwe listening. I just butchered your language.

• 1:29:43Justin Roczniak?

  You ever have a you ever have a goldfish die?

• 1:29:47November Kelly?

  Bermuda Triangle.

• 1:29:47Justin Roczniak?

  Bermuda Triangle.

• 1:29:49Speaker 02

  Plot the plot continues. My third my third eye is really I'm like the I'm a cover of a Tool album right now.

• 1:29:54November Kelly?

  If you if if you if you stretch the oxidation out on a timeline, then everybody, every human has spontaneously combusted after they died.

• 1:30:02Speaker 02

  The heat death of the universe happens in the Bermuda Triangle.

• 1:30:07November Kelly?

  Jesus fucking Christ.

• 1:30:10Justin Roczniak?

  No wreckage from this ship was ever found, not even some flotsam, right? There were a bunch of rumors that the ship had like put into port in Barbados to refuel to set sail for Germany and defect.

• 1:30:24November Kelly?

  My God, it's the hunt for Red October, but with Prussians.

• 1:30:29Justin Roczniak?

  The captain was, after all, a damned Dutchman.

• 1:30:33November Kelly?

  Ah, he's Lithuanian.

• 1:30:35Justin Roczniak?

  Eyewitnesses reported a ship named Cyclops in the Keel Canal in Germany, which turned out to be just a different ship with the same name.

• 1:30:45November Kelly?

  Just a German Collier kidnapping would be a really good bit for them to do immediately after losing World War One.

• 1:30:52Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:30:52November Kelly?

  To be like, how can we get back on the world stage? It's easy. We steal a ship full of manganese.

• 1:30:59Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:31:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's it's like the mirror universe, the Terran Empire comes back in time to ensure Nazi Germany has enough manganese to to secure the gross Deutschland and.

• 1:31:11November Kelly?

  Pretty good idea for a story, yeah.

• 1:31:13Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, we could probably, you know, do this with some kind of high tech fashion.

• 1:31:17Speaker 02

  Alex, we'll reach out. I'll delete all the bad things I said about Discovery.

• 1:31:23Justin Roczniak?

  The Cyclops was declared officially lost with all hands on the first of June by the Secretary of the Navy Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

• 1:31:31November Kelly?

  I gotta, I gotta do FDR's suicide fleet as a, as a bonus. I'll write that.

• 1:31:38Justin Roczniak?

  We had that, we gotta wait a little while because Lyons, led by Donkeys, just did that.

• 1:31:43Speaker 02

  Did you? Fuck.

• 1:31:44Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:45November Kelly?

  I knew, I knew there was a reason why I was thinking of it, but I couldn't think why. And I was like, oh yeah.

• 1:31:51Justin Roczniak?

  We had to wait some time between.

• 1:31:53November Kelly?

  Down.

• 1:31:54Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:31:55November Kelly?

  Just, just cut that. I embarrassed myself.

• 1:31:57Justin Roczniak?

  No, no, start the, start the clock going, start the clock going.

• 1:32:02Justin Roczniak?

  Um, this investigation continued into 1922 with the Navy investigating reports that a man in a Philadelphia prison reported that a spy had set off a charge in the hold. That it was sunk by a U-boat and just no one told anyone.

• 1:32:20Speaker 02

  Yo, yo, no one, no one knows, but that, that, remember that, that fucking John that sank? That never showed up? Yo dude, I, I, I knew, I saw, I got a guy, there was a guy in another cell, he was telling fucking spy.

• 1:32:34November Kelly?

  Jailhouse snitching extending to ships is really good.

• 1:32:38Speaker 02

  It was a fucking, one of the fucking U-boats, dude. I told you.

• 1:32:45November Kelly?

  And U-boat, U-boat getting perp walked like this is bullshit.

• 1:32:49Speaker 02

  I told you.

• 1:32:50Justin Roczniak?

  There was a man, a man claimed he had constructed an enormous underwater cannon several miles off the coast of Cuba.

• 1:33:01November Kelly?

  Okay.

• 1:33:01Justin Roczniak?

  Leaked to the shore by a tunnel and he had heard that the captain was defecting. So he fired his underwater cannon at the Cyclops.

• 1:33:11November Kelly?

  Let's fucking go.

• 1:33:14Speaker 02

  No, this rules. Well, this, this is, yeah, this is like fucking, uh, this is like Star Wars shit. Like, we're gonna test this fully operation underwater cannon on the, you know, no, don't fire the Cyclops. It's a peaceful vessel intended to only to provide coal to the people of Baltimore. Do you have a target? A military target? We'll name the vessel. Um, yeah, then, you know, they, she says the name and then they blow it up anyway. And then somewhere, somewhere in Baltimore, a fucking O's fans, ew, I just felt shudder like a fucking like forty eyes. Cried out and then we're silenced, dude, dude, this fucking spooky is like there's ghosts or something.

• 1:33:50Justin Roczniak?

  So anyway, none of this proved to be true. Um, you know, and it was kind of like, oh, well, maybe, maybe it's just bad weather and overloading. Nah.

• 1:33:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:33:58Justin Roczniak?

  Underwater cannon.

• 1:34:00Speaker 02

  Underwater, that is my favorite. I had not heard that theory. We just have fucking Big Bertha, like.

• 1:34:06Justin Roczniak?

  But underwater.

• 1:34:08Speaker 02

  Underwater with, with, with nineteen eighteen metallurgy.

• 1:34:11Justin Roczniak?

  Yep. No, it's still air.

• 1:34:13Speaker 02

  It's, it's a fucking sea dragon, but, uh, fifty years too early.

• 1:34:17Justin Roczniak?

  That's what's actually doing all the Bermuda Triangle sinkings.

• 1:34:21Speaker 02

  There's a fucking, there's a bunch of fucking Prushens underneath there, like still with the picklehova and like just shooting.

• 1:34:31Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:34:31Speaker 02

  Listen, if you know what a World War One, the World War One U-boats, if you do what it was like in them, I mean, you would do, you would go in an underwater cannon, but fuck it, anything's better than this.

• 1:34:41Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, probably. Shit, there's, there's wet Prushens. Castro, what are you doing about the wet Prushens?

• 1:34:48Speaker 02

  They're ruining shipping. Dude, that's how they stop Bay of Pigs.

• 1:34:51Justin Roczniak?

  I guess so. They use the wet Prushens.

• 1:34:55Speaker 02

  They're just like really old decrepit down there. For some reason they're still alive. I mean, I guess it's not unreasonable that some eighteen year old from nineteen eighteen still be alive. And yeah, for Bay of Pigs, that makes sense.

• 1:35:06Justin Roczniak?

  So anyway, yeah, it turns out there was, uh, bad weather that day and you notice supposed last location of Cyclops here. Barely close to Cape Hatteras, by the way. Oh, shit. Certainly pretty far from the Bermuda Triangle.

• 1:35:21Speaker 02

  That looks like, that looks like a, like an extratropical low, kinda like the last one we had in the other episode.

• 1:35:26Justin Roczniak?

  Man, yes.

• 1:35:27Speaker 02

  It's almost like that happens like every day, like in the winter.

• 1:35:30Justin Roczniak?

  And they also had, um, one of their engines was malfunctioning. So, you know, you have asymmetric thrust on there, you know? Um, so, you know, probably just rolled over in bad weather.

• 1:35:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. And probably somewhere deep where you can't find it. And then like the other thing is like, this is like the Gulf Stream. And so like, if there is a shipwreck, it could get moved around fairly like quickly if it's still floating.

• 1:35:52Justin Roczniak?

  Oh yeah. And then, you know, some reports indicated it was difficult even to get out of the harbor at Salvador. Cause it was so overloaded, right?

• 1:36:00November Kelly?

  Just this thing limping away and everybody is like, yep, looking good.

• 1:36:04Justin Roczniak?

  Looking good.

• 1:36:06Speaker 02

  Me, me after fifty cent wing night.

• 1:36:08Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:10Justin Roczniak?

  Contemporary reports indicated the ship was loaded to the point where the flimsoll line, which are these various lines here, uh, was submerged, which is the line that indicates the maximum safe draft. Like, once that's underwater, the ship's overloaded. You should not, you can't use it, right? Um, so yeah, just, just some fuckery happening here. Um, not a mysterious disappearance. It just turns out, no, people were dumb.

• 1:36:39Speaker 02

  And it wasn't in the triangle.

• 1:36:41Justin Roczniak?

  It was not in the triangle.

• 1:36:42Speaker 02

  Like probably when it's like, yeah.

• 1:36:43Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, probably. Okay. I almost tripped on some stuff leaving the chair.

• 1:36:48November Kelly?

  Well, don't do that. Don't die.

• 1:36:51Justin Roczniak?

  No, that would not be good during the Bermuda Triangle episode. Think of all the conspiracies.

• 1:36:56November Kelly?

  Yeah. I, I think often about the funniest episode for one of us to die during.

• 1:37:01Justin Roczniak?

  During the middle of it.

• 1:37:02November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:03Justin Roczniak?

  You could fall asleep during the anesthesia episode.

• 1:37:07Justin Roczniak?

  Oh shit, it happened.

• 1:37:11Justin Roczniak?

  Uh, you could, um, uh, shit, what else?

• 1:37:16November Kelly?

  Just get bifid dolphin during the bifid dolphin episode.

• 1:37:19Justin Roczniak?

  You could get spontaneously human combusted.

• 1:37:22November Kelly?

  Oh God.

• 1:37:23Justin Roczniak?

  During a spontaneous human combustion episode.

• 1:37:25November Kelly?

  Hate to get spontaneously human combusted. It would suck.

• 1:37:31Justin Roczniak?

  Adult onset sudden infant death syndrome.

• 1:37:40Justin Roczniak?

  She died for no reason.

• 1:37:42November Kelly?

  I mean, you can do it like terrifying as it is, you know?

• 1:37:47Justin Roczniak?

  It's just I missed a couple beats, dead.

• 1:37:50November Kelly?

  Hmm. Trying not to think about it. Not very successfully.

• 1:37:53Justin Roczniak?

  You could get, um, I don't know, maybe the house, maybe we talk about an earthquake and the big one hits the east coast, the rumored big one, the nude Madrid fault goes.

• 1:38:04November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:04Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Uh, Carrington event, house catches fire.

• 1:38:10November Kelly?

  We all get killed by our headphones simultaneously, like touching a metal plate. Yeah.

• 1:38:14Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. It's like touching the stove.

• 1:38:17November Kelly?

  Hmm. So all podcasters killed at once.

• 1:38:20Justin Roczniak?

  Oh my God, I can't believe we had every podcaster in the world recording simultaneously.

• 1:38:27November Kelly?

  The, the Carrington event too, waiting for some kind of like podcast convention strike.

• 1:38:32Justin Roczniak?

  Everyone's gonna have to go back to listening to radio.

• 1:38:35November Kelly?

  Hmm.

• 1:38:36Justin Roczniak?

  Most left wing content out there will be NPR.

• 1:38:39November Kelly?

  Jesus. Well, they're trying to defund that. So, you know?

• 1:38:42Justin Roczniak?

  They'd make basically none of their money from the government at this point. That's the other thing. I mean, I, it's nominally funded by the government, but it's really funded by the Annenberg Foundation.

• 1:38:53November Kelly?

  By, and by listeners like you.

• 1:38:55Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's the original Patreon, isn't it?

• 1:38:59November Kelly?

  Hmm. They really need to invent Chinese Patreon or European Patreon. I'm not picky. So long as it isn't like dollar based, because the whole global reserve currency thing.

• 1:39:09Justin Roczniak?

  What if we had a phone drive and gave people pay tote bags?

• 1:39:14November Kelly?

  Pretty good. That's a pretty good idea. So long as they pay in gold, like one, one ingot of gold is get you a tote bag.

• 1:39:21Justin Roczniak?

  Well, we'd have to get everyone, everyone in the same room, right?

• 1:39:25November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:26Justin Roczniak?

  And we'd all be working the phones.

• 1:39:28November Kelly?

  I mean, the first bit's already difficult.

• 1:39:30Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. And then, well, we would need also to get our friends in there too, because we need to work all the phones.

• 1:39:36November Kelly?

  Hmm.

• 1:39:37Justin Roczniak?

  Right. And then ask them to pledge support and then send them a will, there's your problem tote bag.

• 1:39:43November Kelly?

  Yeah, just just use the kind of language of fundraising and be like, you know, with with your help, we can end the problem of me having to pay rent and I can like buy a house.

• 1:39:54Justin Roczniak?

  Exactly. We could have some celebrity guests. We could have, I haven't watched NPR or PBS telethon before.

• 1:40:05November Kelly?

  It's we get Ira Glass on.

• 1:40:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, you gotta get the mouth noises for NPR. I don't know how they don't filter those out.

• 1:40:12Justin Roczniak?

  It's very, it's very difficult to go on NPR because the one time I was on NPR, it was like, yeah, call in for the interview, five o'clock in the morning.

• 1:40:21Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:40:22Justin Roczniak?

  Use this terrible app. I was like, yeah, sure, I can do that. And I woke up at five o'clock in the morning. I was like, I can't do this.

• 1:40:31Speaker 02

  I, I, I got to be on once for, I won't even say for what.

• 1:40:36November Kelly?

  I'm the only one who hasn't been on fucking NPR.

• 1:40:39Justin Roczniak?

  We'll get you on NPR.

• 1:40:41Speaker 02

  We got shooters, we'll get you on.

• 1:40:42November Kelly?

  All right, all right, all right.

• 1:40:43Speaker 02

  Let's see what Terry.

• 1:40:44November Kelly?

  Let's go.

• 1:40:45Speaker 02

  It's in Philadelphia, right? No, but like, I actually got to go to the studio, but this was all before code. So, but they took a 30 minute interview and then condensed me down to 30 seconds.

• 1:40:54November Kelly?

  Fuckers.

• 1:40:55Justin Roczniak?

  I would have preferred that. I got the live five minute interview and I was just so blurry, I couldn't do anything.

• 1:41:04Speaker 02

  I was like, what, what? Mr. Rizak, you can't say that sucks dick on NPR.

• 1:41:12November Kelly?

  Yeah, it might be a mistake to give a live interview to the woman who impulsively played a drop of Eric Adams saying the N word.

• 1:41:24November Kelly?

  Who has access to that technology and is irresponsible enough to do that by accident?

• 1:41:29Speaker 02

  Going, I'm going to try and get you canceled by saying, well, well, she played it so that she could say it.

• 1:41:36November Kelly?

  Wish for those using Eric Adams as my like a man you answer.

• 1:41:39Speaker 02

  That's that's gonna if you leave that in, that's gonna be on Tumblr. Someone's gonna say.

• 1:41:44November Kelly?

  The only thing that's on Tumblr is is like a bunch of people telling me about bad times they had watching movies. And one guy who's mad at me about Ukraine, which is kind of like every other social network.

• 1:41:56Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, you know, I I mean, there's no way people will be happy about you about Ukraine.

• 1:42:04November Kelly?

  You think Ukrainians might be, but you know.

• 1:42:07Justin Roczniak?

  I don't know. We're all gonna get held hostage by some Azov guys. Kind of like, well, maybe we deserve this in a way.

• 1:42:18Justin Roczniak?

  So anyway, yeah. Once again, the ship, you know, sort of was last reported near Cape Hatteras, notably not in the Bermuda Triangle. But let's go on to one of the most famous ones, which is Flight 19.

• 1:42:32November Kelly?

  Oh, this one used to scare the shit out of me. This one was the one that scared me because I used to read about this and a bunch of like unsolved mysteries things. And I was like, hmm, dawning horror.

• 1:42:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. Nova, did you ever play the Flight Simulator X mission?

• 1:42:46November Kelly?

  No, because I was too scared.

• 1:42:48Speaker 02

  Oh, it was cool. It was cool. There's a there's a plane. You can find on YouTube, but there's a plane. Like, your mission is you're flying a Learjet. There's like a company yacht that's like stuck off Bimini Island. You have to like set it drop pod, which looks either like a, you know. But if you stay in it, you can't, if you don't find the yacht, weird shit starts to happen and you like your systems start to turn off in the plane. And then you see like in as the night sets, there's like, you see the Cyclops out in the distance and then you see Flight 19 will circle past you.

• 1:43:17November Kelly?

  Fuck.

• 1:43:18Speaker 02

  Ghosts.

• 1:43:22Speaker 02

  That's that was that was spooked. Whenever that came out, whenever I played that, that was spooky.

• 1:43:27November Kelly?

  God, they they really didn't. They underutilized all of the flight simulator's capacity for storytelling, I feel like.

• 1:43:33Speaker 02

  Truly. I mean, now it's just AI voices like.

• 1:43:37Speaker 02

  Flight Simulator 2024, like, wow, it is, I can see by house from here over Percasi. Just pronouncing local names, the ship.

• 1:43:46Justin Roczniak?

  It makes you, it makes you, you know, it makes you wonder what Microsoft Train Simulator 2 could have been, you know, if they still had creative people in there.

• 1:43:55November Kelly?

  Drawing the train into the Bermuda Triangle.

• 1:43:58Justin Roczniak?

  Well, yeah, I mean, if you did the, I mean, the Key West extension would be hilarious. Microsoft Train Simulator route.

• 1:44:05Speaker 02

  The bright, the, the part of the bright line that's in Miami, like, like the, that's, that's the part of it. Every time it goes to pull into Miami, it just disappears.

• 1:44:15Justin Roczniak?

  Well, you see the ghost of the old station and all the old, um, all the old trains there. And then there's a ghost of, uh, you know, a, a, a bunch of Pinkerton's just beating your ass.

• 1:44:27Speaker 02

  There's a, there's a ghost of, uh, with Jack Ruby making the deal with the casinos to, uh, blow up, uh, kill Oswald to make sure they don't know that they were on it.

• 1:44:39Justin Roczniak?

  Well, I would say, uh, Florida East Coast Railroad is one of the most cursed railroads out there because they're, they're the only ones that successfully broke their union.

• 1:44:48Justin Roczniak?

  Although they came back just with U T U as opposed to the various railroad craft unions. Anyway, um.

• 1:44:55Speaker 02

  Uh, Devin, go bleep me saying, should, should, should, uh, should we have Devin bleep me saying casinos? That's slur.

• 1:45:01November Kelly?

  It's fine. It's, it just means worm, you know, whatever.

• 1:45:05Speaker 02

  Ah, fuck it. You assholes fucking suck. Shade.

• 1:45:12Speaker 02

  That's much more offensive. All right. Go ahead. Sorry, Rob.

• 1:45:15Justin Roczniak?

  December 5th, 1945, we have to talk about navigational problem number one.

• 1:45:21November Kelly?

  Oh, God.

• 1:45:22Justin Roczniak?

  This is a routine training flight involving navigating to a reef using Dead Reckoning, bombing that reef and then returning to base in Fort Lauderdale, right?

• 1:45:34November Kelly?

  Yeah. Cause I mean, you used to have to, even in like the Pacific in World War II, you had to do so much fucking navigation, uh, with no landmarks, just over like open ocean. Um, and then, uh, if you fuck up in any way, sharks eat you.

• 1:45:50Speaker 02

  It sucks and your fucking compass like there's like on the lines. Yeah, it's a gyro called gyroscopic drift. So you have to like every oh shit, I hope I forget to reset my fucking compass so that while I'm over the open ocean, you know, it's it's if you've I'm gonna talk about flight really again, try to try find it fly an old plane with just radio nav, like delete all the other shit. Don't use the GPS. It's genuine, especially if there's any weather or it's at night. It's genuinely terrifying. You don't know where you are.

• 1:46:17November Kelly?

  Crabs, crabs will eat your bones like Amelia Earhart.

• 1:46:19Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. So Lieutenant Charles Carroll Taylor was the leader. There were five Grumman TBF Avengers, but they were made by GM instead of Grumman. So they were TBM Avengers.

• 1:46:36November Kelly?

  Yeah, I should say, uh, Taylor had like two and a half thousand hours of flying like experience, whereas all of the other guys, his little ducklings had like 300 total each and like 60 in in the Avenger, which is not a lot.

• 1:46:55Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. And the these planes are they're torpedo bombers, right? They're very good at killing submarines. They're also pretty heavy.

• 1:47:03Speaker 02

  It's if you've never seen what like these like naval bombers look like they're they're while they're here you go. There are pictures on the fucking screen. I'm not looking at it. Uh, they're they're big boys. They're chunky.

• 1:47:13Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. So Taylor, whose callsign was, uh, what Foxtrot Tango two eight, right?

• 1:47:20November Kelly?

  They haven't even invented the NATO. Yeah.

• 1:47:23Speaker 02

  It would be what? What was that?

• 1:47:25November Kelly?

  It'd be like some fucking like city names like fucking, I don't know, like Phoenix Tacoma or whatever. Actually, yeah, actively unhelpful phonetic alphabet.

• 1:47:36Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, Philadelphia.

• 1:47:38Speaker 02

  Foxtrot, would it be Foxtrot? Oh, native.

• 1:47:40November Kelly?

  The allied allied military phonetic alphabets. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. It would be Fox and um oh fuck, I confused myself. Fox tear. They didn't change until until nineteen fifty six.

• 1:47:58Justin Roczniak?

  Fox tear two eight. Lieutenant Taylor, he was late. So and he requested actually not to fly this mission. And it was denied because he didn't give a reason.

• 1:48:09November Kelly?

  Yeah, they they don't let you not go to work in the military because you don't want to, which kind of sucks.

• 1:48:14Justin Roczniak?

  That kind of sucks. Yeah, I'm not sure I'd be good at that job.

• 1:48:18November Kelly?

  They should. They should change that if they want to recruit anyone, I think.

• 1:48:20Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. I don't feel like fighting today. I'm gonna stay in bed.

• 1:48:25November Kelly?

  Do this. I mean, like, what what is fucking Altrak's tactic if not like trusting a guy to be like, this seems like a bad idea?

• 1:48:33Justin Roczniak?

  You know, I I I mean, having seen geopolitical strategy recently by certain countries, I do believe sometimes doing nothing is a good idea.

• 1:48:45Justin Roczniak?

  So this flight sets off around two ten P M. Instead of the scheduled one forty five P M. There's beautiful, clear weather. You know what can go wrong here other than usual horrific training apps accidents? Each of these aircraft is fully fueled. All of them lacked clocks, right?

• 1:49:05November Kelly?

  Which was just we neglected this one aspect in the war economy to turn one of G M's factories into a clock factory.

• 1:49:13Justin Roczniak?

  This would seem important for doing Dead Reckoning, right? Where you figure your position based solely on your speed, heading and time elapsed. These these clocks were apparently very popular with souvenir hunters in the Navy.

• 1:49:29November Kelly?

  So they're just like, I'm gonna get myself a desk clock by like trying one out of the cockpit of one of these.

• 1:49:34Speaker 02

  I'm sending I'm sending a a a Brum and Avenger back home a bit by bit.

• 1:49:44Justin Roczniak?

  And it didn't cost me a dime.

• 1:49:49Justin Roczniak?

  Well, apparently they they were 24 hour clocks, which were hard to get otherwise. And I was like, all right, that's fine.

• 1:49:57Speaker 02

  The American mind.

• 1:49:58Justin Roczniak?

  Everyone's got to watch. It'll be fine, right? Or do they?

• 1:50:02Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:50:03Justin Roczniak?

  So they fly out of Fort Lauderdale and they go to this place. Hens and chickens reef, right? And and they start bombing it, right? This was evidently completed successfully around 3 o'clock in the afternoon.

• 1:50:18Speaker 02

  They've been out for less than an hour. That's a it's a little Sunday drive.

• 1:50:21Justin Roczniak?

  I was about to say, this seems like a pretty easy mission. You know, this is these, these guys are about to have a real Gilligan's Island experience.

• 1:50:29Speaker 02

  And and you're not, you're like hens and chickens reef. Am I on the right one? Because there's the hens and chickens reef.

• 1:50:36Justin Roczniak?

  The hens and.

• 1:50:37Speaker 02

  Off is off the keys, right?

• 1:50:39Justin Roczniak?

  Off, yes, there's one, there's one near Delaware. But apparently there's also one in between Fort Lauderdale and like Grand Bahama.

• 1:50:50Speaker 02

  OK, because there's also one, there's also one off of Plantation Key, off the Florida Keys.

• 1:50:56Justin Roczniak?

  Well, it might be where the confusion came from.

• 1:50:58Speaker 02

  There's why, why, why are we naming this? Who named this?

• 1:51:03Justin Roczniak?

  Probably the hens and the chickens.

• 1:51:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. Commonly called chicken rocks.

• 1:51:08Justin Roczniak?

  Chicken rock. It's like you get, you get, you get a chicken out of the freezer. That's a chicken rock.

• 1:51:14Speaker 02

  In the Bahamas, so 56 miles east of Florida.

• 1:51:18Justin Roczniak?

  This was completed successfully around 3pm. They finished bombing the Shoals, the reefs, according to radio transmissions heard at base, right? And so they keep going west, right? East, excuse me. And then they made the turn and immediately got lost.

• 1:51:34Speaker 02

  God fucking damn it.

• 1:51:36Justin Roczniak?

  The compasses on Lieutenant Taylor's plane both went out. Lieutenant Robert F. Cox was on a following training run. He was, what's the, what's the F and the T again?

• 1:51:48Speaker 02

  Fox Terror.

• 1:51:50Justin Roczniak?

  Fox Terror 74. He picked up radio from flight 19 around 340 ish. He made contact asking if they could be of assistance. Cause it was like, they were clearly talking about, I think we're lost. And Taylor was for whatever reason entirely sure. They had somehow flown to the Florida Keys and he was now attempting to find Fort Lauderdale. He was advised to put the sun on his port wing because you know, the sun sets in the west and it was afternoon. And fly north along the coast, right?

• 1:52:24November Kelly?

  Hmm.

• 1:52:25Speaker 02

  You, and you would like, if it's clear weather, like you're flying over the Florida Keys. You'd see, be able to see like, you wouldn't do, oh, where's Fort Lauderdale? You just have the whole fucking Florida north of you. You could see it from the air.

• 1:52:37November Kelly?

  Yeah, you could see Florida, yeah.

• 1:52:39Speaker 02

  It's, it's, it's, it's very shallow. Listen, I, I, I took my, my, my Comanche all the way from Doylestown Airport. Down, down to, uh, down to Key West in flight simulator. I don't have a plane in real life. You're not allowed to fly a plane if you have diagnosed, treated ADHD.

• 1:52:57November Kelly?

  Really? That's, that's bullshit.

• 1:52:59Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, you have to lie about it. You have to lie about it.

• 1:53:01Justin Roczniak?

  Jesus, they're gonna be, it's gonna be a major pilot shortage pretty soon. They, they already is. Planes, yeah.

• 1:53:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, but like, uh, like obviously like, I'm not a pilot. I play, it's flight simulator, but you, you could see what you would see in real life. And if there's no weather, you can see, even from like 2,000 feet up, you could see fucking see Florida from the Florida Keys. It, it's not that hard.

• 1:53:24November Kelly?

  It's just, it's, it's like one of a bunch of different like kind of command brain problems where you get in like an E day fix, right? You get something stuck in your head and you're like, well, this is my basic assumption. I'm not going to like question that. So like my, my whole fucking decision loop thing or whatever is going to be oriented.

• 1:53:41Speaker 02

  Hasn't been disrupted yet.

• 1:53:43November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. My, I've, my, my, my, oh, my first O and my Oodal loop is wrong. And so I've, I've just like, oh, second O, the second O in my Oodal loop is fucking wrong. Um, and so now all of my loops are going to be fucked.

• 1:53:57Speaker 02

  Oh, I hate when all my loops get fucked. And right now just, you know. We bet the mention of Oodaloo, the EDC guys who are still listening just came in their pants. They fucking love the Oodaloo, you know, they love to make a decision.

• 1:54:09Justin Roczniak?

  Hmm. The Naval Air Station contacted, uh, Taylor, asked if he could turn on the YG transmitter, right? Which is what we now call IFF or Identification Friend or Foe. That's so you know if you should shoot at a plane or not, right? So they could triangulate their location.

• 1:54:28Speaker 02

  The US Navy famously good at that with airliners.

• 1:54:31Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:54:32November Kelly?

  It's just, it's, it's like, you know, the, the old military joke about how the most dangerous thing in the world is a lieutenant with a compass? The most, the most dangerous thing in the world is not a lieutenant with a compass. It's a lieutenant without a compass.

• 1:54:44Speaker 02

  Or a clock.

• 1:54:45November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:47Justin Roczniak?

  Fox Terror 28 replied, he did not. Fox Terror 74 decided, all right, I'm gonna fly south and try and meet you and lead you back to land, right?

• 1:54:58November Kelly?

  Oh, to, to like get lost with like two different like guys on the phone with you, trying to talk you in and you're getting more lost.

• 1:55:06Justin Roczniak?

  Getting more lost.

• 1:55:07Speaker 02

  I, this reminds me of a time when I was working retail. We had someone trying to find the store I was working at. And I said, well, I need you to, I drive west on this road. They're like, well, what direction is west? It's like, well, I can't, I can't. If you don't know what direction you're facing, I can't help you. Like that's, I don't know where west is. She was like getting all frustrated too. Like, sorry.

• 1:55:26Justin Roczniak?

  This is what GPS is doing to people.

• 1:55:29Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:55:29November Kelly?

  Yeah, for real.

• 1:55:31Justin Roczniak?

  That's why I don't use that shit. Instead, I just get lost like an adult.

• 1:55:35November Kelly?

  I mean, honestly, yeah, like.

• 1:55:38Justin Roczniak?

  Around 4:26, Fox Terror 28 reported they had sighted a small island, but no other land in sight. And this was probably Grand Bahama or the, oh, come on, the Abaco Islands, right? Nevertheless, the lieutenant was convinced this is the Florida Keys. We have somehow flown into the Florida Keys. And at this point, the Air Sea Rescue Task Force in the Florida Everglades was alerted. And they started to try and locate Fox Terror 28's YG transmitter, right? Civilian merchant ships were also told to be on the lookout.

• 1:56:19Justin Roczniak?

  More than 20 ground-based facilities were also looking for the planes, uh, in the wrong place.

• 1:56:26Justin Roczniak?

  Complicating matters was that the radio frequency Fox Terror 2.8 was using experienced heavy interference from Cuban radio stations.

• 1:56:36November Kelly?

  Not even, not even like communist sabotage because it's 46. You're getting like Maya Lansky's Radio Havana. Like you're getting Cuban bops while you're trying to listen out for this guy.

• 1:56:49Speaker 02

  Oh my God, there's too much rumba. I can't understand.

• 1:56:53November Kelly?

  Yeah, he said something about the Florida Keys and then he got cut off by the Maracas.

• 1:56:56Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, they play the flute too goddamn good. How do you, how do you play guitar like that?

• 1:57:05Justin Roczniak?

  Now it's the three straight minutes of Bacardi advertisements.

• 1:57:10Justin Roczniak?

  And some cigars as well. RC Rescue suggested a plane with a good compass should take over navigation because you know, again, there's.

• 1:57:19Speaker 02

  Well, let's get the one with the good compass. Get that one, that one plane we have.

• 1:57:22Justin Roczniak?

  There's four planes here. All these guys have done this training procedure several times before, but let one of them go ahead. Come on.

• 1:57:31November Kelly?

  Crew, crew, crew resource management, not a thing yet. I mean, think about it. It's worse, like worse than being one of the other like aviators is being one of the gunners because you're just along for the ride. You'll wait and you're just like chilling in the back as it becomes increasingly apparent that the four guys up front have no idea what they're doing.

• 1:57:50Justin Roczniak?

  You're just watching.

• 1:57:51November Kelly?

  Eating your bag lunch. You're just like, there's nothing, there's nothing for me to do here. Uh, like I can.

• 1:57:56Justin Roczniak?

  Except watch Florida get smaller and smaller and smaller.

• 1:58:01November Kelly?

  This is one of the things that used to make me really anxious. Yeah.

• 1:58:07Justin Roczniak?

  Say, guys, I think we could probably turn around and make it.

• 1:58:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. Why don't we try, why don't we just try heading west? Let's just try it. Like, come on, like.

• 1:58:15Justin Roczniak?

  You know what? Hold that thought.

• 1:58:16November Kelly?

  One of us. The problem is that the guy up front is the guy up front because the first question he thought to ask is can I be an officer? And you didn't think to ask that question.

• 1:58:26Speaker 02

  You said yes, way too fast. Go take backsees.

• 1:58:32Justin Roczniak?

  Fox Terror 28 acknowledged, but the transmission was so garbled, no one could figure out if he actually did that.

• 1:58:38November Kelly?

  It was garbled often enough.

• 1:58:40Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Fox Terror 74 loses contact while flying south to meet the planes which were flying north. So standard procedure at Naval Air Station Fort Lauderdale for lost aircraft was to fly directly towards the sun until you reach the mainland and then navigate via landmarks. That's west. Sun sets in the west. I suppose in the morning they'd fly away from the sun. I don't know.

• 1:59:07November Kelly?

  It's just this weird terror to be like, I am over the keys. If I fly west, I will be flying to my certain doom in the Gulf of Mexico. Sorry, the Gulf of America, I guess.

• 1:59:19Justin Roczniak?

  America, I guess, yeah.

• 1:59:21November Kelly?

  It's like, surely easier to get found if you're lost in the Gulf of America, I guess, than in the fucking Atlantic.

• 1:59:29Speaker 02

  Like, but if you were gonna be, I looked at where the shawl is, the chicken rocks, you would have had to hit Florida. You would have had to fly over like Biscayne Bay to get yourself like over the keys, like.

• 1:59:39November Kelly?

  It's like, maybe I missed it.

• 1:59:41Speaker 02

  It doesn't make any sense. Like, it's a total, like, who is this motherfucker? Was this like some fucking Boston Brahmin dumbass? Like, legacy admit to the Naval Academy.

• 1:59:53November Kelly?

  He's Naval Reserve.

• 1:59:57Justin Roczniak?

  Wow, they're really dipping into the bottom of the barrel here.

• 2:00:01November Kelly?

  Born 1917 in Nueces County, Texas.

• 2:00:06Speaker 02

  That's, that's a problem there.

• 2:00:10November Kelly?

  So not only, not only are you like, you're, you're in the back of one of these, you're in your gun turret, you've eaten your bag lunch. There's a bunch of like frenzied radio calls with like rumble music and meanwhile, the, the guy who's getting you all killed is this foghorn leghorn motherfucker.

• 2:00:29November Kelly?

  Oh my god.

• 2:00:31Justin Roczniak?

  A Foxtrot 28, that's over the radio, since they think they're in the Gulf of America.

• 2:00:39Justin Roczniak?

  Well, I say, I say I will fly ahead in 030 for 45 minutes to ensure I'm not in the Gulf of Mexico.

• 2:00:47Speaker 02

  I do declare, I did on my most recent overflight, observe out of my window.

• 2:00:54November Kelly?

  Fuel starvation hits in mid-sentence.

• 2:00:57Speaker 02

  The very shape and appearance of the keys attached to the, to the, to the peninsula of Florida.

• 2:01:06November Kelly?

  If, if, if the Confederacy had run, had won the war, the entire Confederate state's air force would be like this.

• 2:01:14Speaker 02

  That's why Pickett's charge failed. He was too busy doing a speech.

• 2:01:20Speaker 02

  Every officer, every fucking like lieutenant in Cornet or whatever fucking bullshit they had back then, was giving his own version of the speech, you know? Well, I, I do declare that you are the very sons of Lassandra, oh, the damn Yankees. Just immediately, immediately ripped apart.

• 2:01:36November Kelly?

  All of your guys have been getting shot through the brain pan by a guy who used to run a general store in Ohio.

• 2:01:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yes, you must charge like they, like they had done so. And just a guy on the other side, yo, fucking load them up.

• 2:01:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, you, this is like the, the, this, you know, we're the 69th. Nice. Uh, fucking Philadelphia Phillies battalion. We got the, they got the fucking Phillies flag on the fucking gun.

• 2:02:06Speaker 02

  Dude, I put triple shot in that fucking thing. Dude, it's like Miller Lite, Triple Hops brewed, fucking triple shot.

• 2:02:13Speaker 02

  Just imagine, that's your last thought is like some fucking, like fucking proto hoagie mouth dipshit. Yo, I fucking, fucking dude, I'm gonna stab him in the dick.

• 2:02:28November Kelly?

  Alright, fuck a World War II reenactment. We gotta start. We gotta start drafting the first Pennsylvania Secret Service regiment of infantry.

• 2:02:39Speaker 02

  Oh, hell yes.

• 2:02:41Justin Roczniak?

  So, Fox Terror 78, you know, Lieutenant Cox, he's in the previous training flight. Uh, or no, he's now called Lieutenant Cox because he's on the ground, right? He strongly suspects that this training flight is lost just around Bahama Bank. And Air Sea Rescue concurred. They're like, yeah, they're probably lost there. Let's go out, send out the plane to go get them, right? We're gonna dispatch the, uh, the ready plane, uh, at a heading of 075 to intercept them, right? We're gonna establish a radio relay and we're gonna get them back, um, before anything stupid happens, right?

• 2:03:22Justin Roczniak?

  These radio transmissions from Flight 19, they're starting to get fainter. Um, they're starting to have problems. They try and get Fox, uh, what is it again?

• 2:03:31Speaker 02

  Fox Terror?

• 2:03:32Justin Roczniak?

  Fox Terror 28 to switch to a different frequency that doesn't have Cuban radio on it. He's like, no, I'll lose contact with my other planes. Um, so he doesn't do that. So they're, they're stuck with the maracas the whole time.

• 2:03:51Speaker 02

  At least you have a nice soundtrack as you die.

• 2:03:53Justin Roczniak?

  This is true, yeah. The transmissions from Flight 19, again, they're getting fainter, but they do hear at least two of the student pilots saying something like, damn it, head west. We'll get home if we head west.

• 2:04:05November Kelly?

  Oh, you, you motherfuckers.

• 2:04:08Speaker 02

  Break formation.

• 2:04:10November Kelly?

  Yeah, you control the buttons you press, right? Like, that guy might be mad at you. He's in another plane. You can just fly away from him.

• 2:04:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's gonna, he, alright, he can die. He can go off. He's, he's thinking about Faulkner. He's doing the Faulkner thing, right? He's trying to, he's thinking about Pickett's Charge. He's, he's daydreaming about this and, yeah, just fucking turn west, dude.

• 2:04:35Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. They, they knew where they were. Go, go the other way.

• 2:04:39Speaker 02

  It's so obvious. And this is what frustrated me. I like, I know, like, uh, like, obviously we're like self-selected nerds here, but like, I have a geography brain. You think you need a geography brain to be a pilot? Like, I can just tell from a map in my mind where these things are. Like, it ma- I do declare, I'm over the Cape. No, you were not over the Cape. You were bombing in the Bahamas.

• 2:05:01Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. Ask the gunner, he can see land.

• 2:05:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's got, he's got the reciprocal view behind you. Yeah.

• 2:05:08Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:05:10Justin Roczniak?

  It's now about five o'clock in the evening, right?

• 2:05:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, so it's almost night probably because it's like in December.

• 2:05:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:05:15November Kelly?

  Jesus fucking Christ.

• 2:05:16Justin Roczniak?

  Just before the plane was about to send out, be sent out to intercept them, the air station got to, got a fix on the flight, right? And it was far, far off course, but there was good news. Foxterr 28 had come to his senses. They'd fly due west until they hit the beach or ran out of gas. So they didn't send out the plane. Anyway, so an hour later, he changed his mind.

• 2:05:39Speaker 02

  Motherf-

• 2:05:44Speaker 02

  Twenty-nine north, seventy-nine west, is that what it said?

• 2:05:47Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 2:05:47Speaker 02

  That's fucking off of Daytona Beach.

• 2:05:50November Kelly?

  This, this guy, he, he graduated from, from Naval Air Station Corpus Christi, Texas. So this is an all Texas failure.

• 2:05:59November Kelly?

  Born in Texas, raised in Texas, trained in Texas. We teach our officers real instinctual navigation. We don't have need for numbers. This is what it's gonna be like when they purge woke out of the military. It's gonna be like this again.

• 2:06:14Justin Roczniak?

  Flight 19, yeah, they'd been triangulated to a position within a hundred miles of twenty degrees, twenty-nine degrees north, seventy-nine degrees west. No one had actually thought to tell Foxterr 28 that, though. They hadn't, they had not told him that. Or to tell his students that in case the lieutenant was too stubborn or stupid. So by six twenty, the transmissions were getting more and more garbled. Uh, Foxterr 28 tells his men, all planes close up tight. We'll have to ditch unless landfall. When the first plane drops to 10 gallons, we all go down together.

• 2:06:49November Kelly?

  Oh my God, this fucking Decemberist ass piece of shit. Romantic notions having, oh, Jesus Christ.

• 2:06:58Justin Roczniak?

  No, this is your own stupid asshole. Come on.

• 2:07:01November Kelly?

  If I'm the gunner, I'm willing the gun to traverse 180 degrees.

• 2:07:06Justin Roczniak?

  I was about to say, yeah.

• 2:07:09Justin Roczniak?

  And they're ditching in what is becoming increasingly stormy weather, right?

• 2:07:15Justin Roczniak?

  So, you know, command back on land says, all right, it's time to dispatch the search and rescue planes because they overhear this transmission, right? So there's a PBY Catalina dispatched at six o'clock. They didn't find them. They had a bunch of transmitter trouble.

• 2:07:31November Kelly?

  I love those Catalinas, beautiful planes.

• 2:07:34Justin Roczniak?

  And then at the Naval Air Station in Banana River, there were two PBM five mariners, that's this guy up here, who were not affectionately nicknamed the flying gas tanks.

• 2:07:48November Kelly?

  Is that good? Are we about to see some spontaneous human combustion?

• 2:07:53Justin Roczniak?

  They were diverted from a nighttime navigational training mission and instead sent on a search and rescue mission for the presumably downed planes. Shortly after takeoff, one of them explodes and crashes into the ocean.

• 2:08:06Speaker 02

  So, yes.

• 2:08:08November Kelly?

  Fuck. A sudden onset, adult onset, spontaneous human combustion.

• 2:08:13Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 2:08:15Speaker 02

  Maybe we should do something about the pilot smoking.

• 2:08:21Justin Roczniak?

  This is, this is in a lot of recountings, this is mystified as they never saw or heard from that plane again. But there was a passing ship that saw it happen in front of them. And in fact, went to go to the huge oil slick and look for survivors.

• 2:08:35Speaker 02

  I just imagine like this thing explodes and just like into bits of like, oh my God, they disappeared.

• 2:08:43Speaker 02

  Where did they go?

• 2:08:47November Kelly?

  It was replaced by this huge explosion that I don't know what it is.

• 2:08:53Speaker 02

  God damn it, it's the underwater gun.

• 2:08:55Justin Roczniak?

  They went into a time warp.

• 2:08:56November Kelly?

  Jesus Christ, I've just had an extremely chaperone moment because I went to look up the PBM mariner and the one, two, three, four, fifth picture on that page is a PBM being hoisted aboard the seaplane, ten the USS Curtis. But the plane has a name and the name painted under the ball turret in front is hot to go. So, uh, marketing campaign getting everywhere.

• 2:09:22Speaker 02

  Oh, I, I thought it said hot dog, which would be like, that's my plane. We're going to like fucking hamburger.

• 2:09:27November Kelly?

  No, it says hot to go. It's just misspelled. It's H O T O G O.

• 2:09:32Speaker 02

  Hot toga. That was what the Greeks were really into for, for like.

• 2:09:37November Kelly?

  Yeah, the fucking like, um.

• 2:09:39Speaker 02

  Instead of yoga pants, they're wearing togas.

• 2:09:42Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:43Speaker 02

  Doing yoga with your foreskin tied in a ribbon. So your glands wouldn't get exposed because that's gauche.

• 2:09:49Justin Roczniak?

  Chap Chapel around if you're listening, come on a podcast.

• 2:09:52November Kelly?

  Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah. I mean, fucking she might be. We do have people everywhere.

• 2:09:57Justin Roczniak?

  That's the truth. That's true. Yeah, we got shooters. Anyway, so a lot of times in a lot of the literature, this is mystified as, yeah, they never saw the plane again. Now, I already said this, didn't I? Okay. But yeah, these planes were known to suddenly explode for no reason. This was a known problem with them.

• 2:10:17November Kelly?

  Shit. Yeah, that happens sometimes.

• 2:10:19Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. That's, that's just American engineering for you. Thank God Trump's bringing it back.

• 2:10:26November Kelly?

  I mean, Tesla's.

• 2:10:28Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, that's true. That's true.

• 2:10:31Justin Roczniak?

  The search for survivors continued for five days, came up with numerous other wrecks of similar planes, but not anything from flight 19. I mean, they.

• 2:10:41November Kelly?

  Fuck is really crashing into the ocean.

• 2:10:43Speaker 02

  It's the entirety of the fucking Corpus Christi Naval Academy detachment.

• 2:10:48November Kelly?

  Graduating class just.

• 2:10:50Speaker 02

  The Corpus Christi Naval Community College.

• 2:10:59Justin Roczniak?

  You're a rank lower than the Merchant Marines.

• 2:11:04November Kelly?

  America's 76th line of defense.

• 2:11:07Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:11:08November Kelly?

  Between Naval Air Station Corpus Christi and the League of Women Voters.

• 2:11:13Speaker 02

  Hey, I think the, the Coast Guard Women's Auxiliary is still there. Yeah. The waves, the waves, they're there. They're, they're a little ahead.

• 2:11:20Justin Roczniak?

  The final report initially blamed Taylor.

• 2:11:25November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 2:11:26Justin Roczniak?

  Cause he was now, he's now named Taylor because he's not in the air anymore. He's underwater.

• 2:11:31Speaker 02

  He's meeting the Russians.

• 2:11:33Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Upon protest by his mother, this report was amended to cause unknown since Taylor's compass was out and there was no physical evidence to be found.

• 2:11:44November Kelly?

  It's really cool how one woman being like, don't call my son a useless piece of shit. Is enough to like spark decades of conspiracy theories.

• 2:11:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:11:53Speaker 02

  I gotta tell you, if I had a kid, if I had a son who did this, I'd be like, nah, he was a fucking idiot.

• 2:12:00Speaker 02

  I fucked up. All this time, I put it into this fucking idiot, teach them directions. Do you know how many maps he has in this fucking room?

• 2:12:10Speaker 02

  The incre- well, this is nineteen, like, so he's like a, like a, you know, when was he fucking born? Like nineteen seventeen? Yeah. He was always on that, he was always on that fucking radio, listening to, you know, the, the Proctor and Gable Soap Hour. Yo, never looking at his maps. Yeah.

• 2:12:27Justin Roczniak?

  Be sure to drink your Ovaltine?

• 2:12:33Justin Roczniak?

  Anyway, that's what his compass said.

• 2:12:37November Kelly?

  And this guy got the, the most lost anyone has ever gotten.

• 2:12:41Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:12:41Speaker 02

  And that's like, there's also like, wasn't it like the tech TV guy who got lost? Or am I thinking of a different guy? There was, there was a game, there was like a game, the guy got lost in Oregon following his GPS. And he drove over a forest, like a nat, like a forest service road in the middle of winter. Because his GPS told them.

• 2:13:01Speaker 02

  I'm laughing, it is actually a tragedy.

• 2:13:03Justin Roczniak?

  People gotta learn to navigate.

• 2:13:06Speaker 02

  You, you, you, you should know where, you should know what direction you're facing. If you step outside and you look where the sun is, you know what time of day you should be able to go, oh, I know the general direction.

• 2:13:17Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, especially if you've gone somewhere remote. Or you're in an aeroplane.

• 2:13:24Justin Roczniak?

  Fourteen men on Flight nineteen were lost, as well as all thirteen crew of the Martin PBM that decided to explode that day.

• 2:13:32November Kelly?

  Jesus.

• 2:13:33Speaker 02

  Poor bet.

• 2:13:34November Kelly?

  Don't, don't smoke in the red barrel room of the flying boat.

• 2:13:38Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. To this day, people have tried searching for Flight nineteen and they've come up with dozens of other wrecked aircraft, but not the five in this incident.

• 2:13:48November Kelly?

  Making it the US Navy's most effective operational use of camouflage.

• 2:13:52Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I mean-

• 2:13:53November Kelly?

  They were painted blue. Aircraft, they were on that shit early.

• 2:13:56Speaker 02

  I mean, it's got to be somewhere, like, I mean, the, the, the, the fucking coastal plane goes pretty far out.

• 2:14:05Speaker 02

  So, it's, it's gotta be somewhere.

• 2:14:07Justin Roczniak?

  I keep sending Grumman TBF Avengers into, uh, the ocean and they keep disappearing. Well, it sounds like you're just feeding the ocean TBF Avengers.

• 2:14:19Speaker 02

  That's, that's actually why sea level's right. Yeah. I'm still sending them out to this day.

• 2:14:27Speaker 02

  You'd think they would have learned their lesson by now. No. Fucking Corpus Christi pilots, goddamn, how many are there?

• 2:14:35Speaker 02

  It's amazing, Texas has positive growth rate.

• 2:14:40Justin Roczniak?

  So now we have to talk a bit about the two incidents that really resulted in the formation of the myth of the Bermuda Triangle, right? Which were two planes.

• 2:14:50November Kelly?

  I see the bad flag, I see the bad flag on the airplane, on the rotor. That's, this is our fault.

• 2:14:55Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:14:56Speaker 02

  You get the urge to do a weird, the weird salute.

• 2:15:00November Kelly?

  Getting the urge to eat an entire stick of Kerrygold.

• 2:15:04Justin Roczniak?

  We gotta talk about British, South American Airways. There's a bunch of pilots from World War II. They decide, fuck it, let's start an airline.

• 2:15:13November Kelly?

  Yeah, BSAA's in-house specialty was weird disappearances.

• 2:15:18Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 2:15:19November Kelly?

  There's, there's another couple specifically that I want to talk about in future episodes because they are spooky. This is spooky too.

• 2:15:26Speaker 02

  The, the planes all had rising damp for some reason.

• 2:15:29November Kelly?

  Yeah. The, the planes all had rising damp, the pilots all had like massive PTSD.

• 2:15:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:15:35Justin Roczniak?

  You know, there's this whole bunch of ex-military transports around you can get for a discount, you know, starting the airline right now. It's cheap, easy and fun.

• 2:15:43November Kelly?

  Right? And just buy a Dakota for like nothing.

• 2:15:46Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. In this take, in this case, we're talking about BSAA Star Tiger, right? Which is an Avro Tudor IV. Uh, this is not the same aircraft, but it is a similar aircraft, right? This is based on a Lancaster heavy bomber, right? Or is it Lancaster? Cause it's British.

• 2:16:03November Kelly?

  Lancaster, yeah.

• 2:16:05Justin Roczniak?

  Lanc, Lanc, okay.

• 2:16:07Speaker 02

  The Lanc, the Lancaster heavy bomber.

• 2:16:08Justin Roczniak?

  The Lancaster heavy bombers.

• 2:16:11Speaker 02

  We're just dropping whoopee pies.

• 2:16:13Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, no, there's a bunch of horses in there on treadmills.

• 2:16:16Speaker 02

  A puppy farm inside. Yeah, we're taking that. We're taking the Pennsylvania Dutch regiment or wing out.

• 2:16:24November Kelly?

  Rumspringa, holy shit. We found a companion to the Pennsylvania Secret Service, the Pennsylvania Dutch Air Force. Yeah, they're just like a buggy with wings badge on the like emblem. Fuck, I gotta, okay, well, I gotta make that now and there'll be a T-shirt link in the description. Yes, please.

• 2:16:44Justin Roczniak?

  It's a stealth, it's a stealth unit. It's got no lights, but it does have the orange reflector on the back.

• 2:16:51Speaker 02

  They were, they were providing close air support to Battle of Gettysburg.

• 2:16:59Justin Roczniak?

  They could put an airfield up in a day.

• 2:17:04Speaker 02

  They were, they were doing, they were doing Wild Weasel because they were trying to avoid the underwater Prussian gun.

• 2:17:10November Kelly?

  I hate having to go to the Pennsylvania Dutch Air Force's control tower raising.

• 2:17:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's no electronics inside.

• 2:17:22November Kelly?

  We've just invented cargo cults again from first principles.

• 2:17:25Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. Well, no, there's, they're, they're, but they actually have aircraft as a thing.

• 2:17:29November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:17:30Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. You know, there's like, you know, there's people churning aircraft fuel, you know, there's.

• 2:17:37November Kelly?

  Everybody has a cargo cult, but theirs works.

• 2:17:40Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 2:17:41Speaker 02

  They're real hardworking guys. I mean, they're kind of annoying, but you know, they, they do, you know, you don't want to do any union problems when you hire these guys, you know what I mean? They're just gonna do the work, you know? Build a hell of a fake fireplace. Every, every single, every single plane's got a fake fireplace inside.

• 2:17:58Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 2:17:59Speaker 02

  Nova, I don't know if you're familiar with this.

• 2:18:02November Kelly?

  Oh, not at all.

• 2:18:03Speaker 02

  So they used to sell on, on like infomercials, Amish-made fake fireplaces, like electronic fireplaces.

• 2:18:13November Kelly?

  Uh huh.

• 2:18:14Speaker 02

  Amish-made.

• 2:18:15November Kelly?

  I, but, but, but how? Do you have like a, like a Shabbos glyph that like?

• 2:18:21Speaker 02

  I think they made the wood, the wood like frame of it. And then I guess the electronics were someone else took, yeah, took care of that.

• 2:18:29Justin Roczniak?

  They are, they're, they are allowed in for certain reasons, dealing with the English to use technology. Yes.

• 2:18:37November Kelly?

  Uh huh. Gotcha.

• 2:18:38Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:18:39Speaker 02

  Oh, here we go. Here, I'm going to put it, it's, it's, this is the website. It's called Dutch Crafters. Uh, here you go. You can, they're only $2,000.

• 2:18:47Justin Roczniak?

  For the listeners outside of Pennsylvania, um, the English is how the Amish refer to everyone who's not Amish.

• 2:18:55Speaker 02

  And they're not Dutch, they're German. They're fucking weird.

• 2:18:59Justin Roczniak?

  This is also true. They are Anabaptists, in fact.

• 2:19:02November Kelly?

  Fantastic.

• 2:19:03Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. So.

• 2:19:04November Kelly?

  Download weirdly high resolution USAF wings dot JPEG.

• 2:19:11Justin Roczniak?

  The Avro Tudor four was based on a Lanc- Lancaster heavy bomber. It was Britain's first pressurized airliner. And so said BSAA chief pilot and operations manager Gordon Starr. The Tudor was built like a battleship. It was noisy. I had no confidence in its engines and its systems were hopeless. The Americans were 50 years ahead of us in systems engineering. All the hydraulics, the air conditioning equipment and the recircling fans were crammed together under the floor without any thought.

• 2:19:47November Kelly?

  Land of hope and glory.

• 2:19:51Justin Roczniak?

  There were fuel burning heaters that would never work. We had the floorboards up in flight again and again.

• 2:20:01November Kelly?

  Like an apartment with rising damp. Yes.

• 2:20:05Speaker 02

  Hearts of a far art.

• 2:20:08Justin Roczniak?

  And did those feet in ancient times.

• 2:20:13Speaker 02

  Well, going back to like the William Blake archive, he has, he has one of these in his fucking fever dreams.

• 2:20:21Justin Roczniak?

  Twenty-five passengers, six crew, board Star Tiger on the 28th of January 1948 in Lisbon. Then they were kicked off while they worked on the port inner engine.

• 2:20:31Speaker 02

  Probably running a rat line throughout.

• 2:20:34Justin Roczniak?

  Then two hours later, they were let back on again and the plane departed for refueling at Santa Maria in the Azores.

• 2:20:42Speaker 02

  Part of the Bermuda Triangle we've established.

• 2:20:44Justin Roczniak?

  Apparently, yeah.

• 2:20:45November Kelly?

  First, first time looking at this, this point of the Bermuda Triangle. We've all been on the other side so far.

• 2:20:52Justin Roczniak?

  The weather was absolute garbage, so they waited until the next day to depart for the main leg to Bermuda, a distance of 2,300 miles, which was just at the outer edge of the airplane's range. Oh, 30% in reserve is a rule for a reason.

• 2:21:07November Kelly?

  Listen, I, I didn't survive, uh, like terror bombing Germany.

• 2:21:14Justin Roczniak?

  For you to ask me to have 30% reserve, come on. I didn't need 30% reserve.

• 2:21:22November Kelly?

  When the firebomb gunner doesn't get killed.

• 2:21:24Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. The weather improved, but the headwinds were still very strong. Um, hold on, right? Did I, did I miss a paragraph? No.

• 2:21:34Speaker 02

  You're good.

• 2:21:35Justin Roczniak?

  Okay. Yeah. They waited until the next day. The weather improved, but the headwinds were very strong. Captain Brian McMillan decided to fly low at 2,000 feet to avoid the worst of the wind.

• 2:21:47Speaker 02

  Flying low famously good for your fuel efficiency.

• 2:21:51Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:21:51November Kelly?

  Yeah, no, it's great. And people love it. They can see stuff out the windows.

• 2:21:55Justin Roczniak?

  Uh, it's true. Like the water and the water.

• 2:21:59November Kelly?

  Increasingly close.

• 2:22:01Speaker 02

  And Flight 19 and all the other ghosts in the Bermuda Triangle.

• 2:22:04Justin Roczniak?

  He kept in radio contact with the flight ahead, which is another BSAA flight, uh, with, uh, flown by Captain Frank Griffin. Uh, that was on an Avro, uh, Lencastrian, which is a, a, a converted bomber.

• 2:22:18November Kelly?

  Yeah, like even more of a converted bomber.

• 2:22:21Justin Roczniak?

  Now, this is based on the bomber. That one actually was a bomber.

• 2:22:24Speaker 02

  You accidentally can ditch your, you could actually ditch the passengers.

• 2:22:29November Kelly?

  Yeah, the passenger R A M sits up front.

• 2:22:32Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. So yeah, he is keeping in radio contact with the flight ahead of him to determine the weather conditions, but the Tudor four was also slightly faster. So over about 10 hours, he closed the distance, right? Now by that time, Frank Griffin on the, the Lancasterian realized, okay, we've been blown about 60 miles off course. He did this through celestial navigation.

• 2:22:56November Kelly?

  And yeah, because the Lancasterian had a dome that you could look out at the stars through.

• 2:23:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. Planes had this, but like you didn't have radio range for like a VOR or whatever, like any of the other radio navigation. Yeah. So you had a, you said a guy to the dome with the Sexton, literally is what they did.

• 2:23:14November Kelly?

  Back to Aubrey Maturin again.

• 2:23:16Speaker 02

  Yep. That's, it's all, it all goes back to the sea.

• 2:23:18Justin Roczniak?

  So he, he relays this back to the, the.

• 2:23:23November Kelly?

  To Star Tiger.

• 2:23:24Justin Roczniak?

  To Star, Star Tiger. Yes.

• 2:23:26November Kelly?

  Cool code name.

• 2:23:27Justin Roczniak?

  And so, well, it's the name of the airplane.

• 2:23:30November Kelly?

  It's a cool, cool airplane name.

• 2:23:32Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. And so the navigator on the Star Tiger figures out a new course, which get, puts them directly into a gale to get to Bermuda. Captain McMillan was like, ah, we'll probably still land with about an hour's worth of fuel left though. We're fine. Right? So later that night, a merchant ship about halfway between Bermuda and the Delaware Bay.

• 2:23:56Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 2:23:56Justin Roczniak?

  Side of a low flying aircraft heading directly towards Cape Hatteras.

• 2:24:00Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 2:24:04November Kelly?

  So far, it's not even the Bermuda Triangle, it's just Cape Hatteras.

• 2:24:07Speaker 02

  Just Cape Hatteras.

• 2:24:08November Kelly?

  They keep avoiding the Bermuda Triangle.

• 2:24:10Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. You pass through the Bermuda Triangle and then something bad happens. Contact with the aircraft was lost about three o'clock in the morning from land. Griffin's flight was approaching Bermuda around four o'clock in the morning. He radioed Star Tiger to say he was switching to the, the telephone to contact Bermuda Approach Control. He received no response. There was no contact with the flight from that point onwards. The search lasted five days and just got off. Weather turned up absolutely nothing.

• 2:24:44November Kelly?

  Adds to list of mysterious disappearances.

• 2:24:48Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, you know, there's a couple. There's a couple theories as to what happened here. One of which is that they forgot they were only at 2,000 feet and started descending from 20,000 feet.

• 2:24:58November Kelly?

  Whoops.

• 2:24:58Speaker 02

  That's a, that's a pretty like, I don't like, that's a hard.

• 2:25:02Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I would hope so. Um, you know, the other one is, of course, they're just way off course. You know, the weather's too bad. Yeah, the planes weren't that good back then.

• 2:25:11Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:25:12Justin Roczniak?

  Uh, BSAA's tutors were all grounded, but upon protest from officials from the airline, a formal investigation was held and it was completely inconclusive. So they started flying the planes again.

• 2:25:26November Kelly?

  Okay, sure.

• 2:25:28Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, we don't know what happened. Uh, it's put them back in service. So BSAA Star Aerial was another Avro Tutor Four.

• 2:25:38Speaker 02

  Is it four or six?

• 2:25:40Justin Roczniak?

  Did I copy that wrong?

• 2:25:41Speaker 02

  I don't know, because they're both, they're both exist.

• 2:25:44Justin Roczniak?

  I think they're both fours and then I did the Roman numerals backwards.

• 2:25:49Speaker 02

  Fuck Romans, they don't even, they're not even around anymore. So fuck.

• 2:25:52Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:25:52Speaker 02

  Those smart guys.

• 2:25:53Justin Roczniak?

  On January 17th, 1949, it was pressed into service when another aircraft's engine failed on landing. To take the passengers from that aircraft from Bermuda to Kingston, Jamaica, right? Uh, this is not such a long flight, right? The weather was excellent. The flight was taken at a high altitude because you go, you have efficiency up there and the weather's good enough to do it. And after exactly two radio transmissions to Kingston, uh, the, the flight went completely silent and never showed up. They had six days of searching, turned up nothing.

• 2:26:30November Kelly?

  Whoops.

• 2:26:31Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, so. You know, there's some questions that day about radio reception allegations of sabotage of the plane, right? Nothing firm. Some other later theories include, you know, since the heaters were burning fuel and located in between the hydraulic lines.

• 2:26:47Speaker 02

  Oh, good.

• 2:26:48Justin Roczniak?

  Maybe there was a leak in the hydraulic line and then the plane just exploded, right?

• 2:26:55Speaker 02

  Oh, the, the old PVM Mariner.

• 2:26:58Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I, maybe some of these planes just exploded, you know, it's a bad design. There's a reason they don't fly them anymore.

• 2:27:05Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 2:27:06Justin Roczniak?

  But these two incidents with very similar airplanes in the region, the, these are the incidents that sort of led to the conspiracy of the Bermuda Triangle, which is again fairly recent, as Tom discussed earlier.

• 2:27:21Speaker 02

  These two shitty planes crashed in circumstances easily explained by other things. It must be a vortex.

• 2:27:29Justin Roczniak?

  Probably.

• 2:27:31Speaker 02

  It must be Atlantis.

• 2:27:33Justin Roczniak?

  Wow, it's the vortex of capitalism.

• 2:27:37Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. We weren't meant to sail west. Tolkien was right. You're trying to, to fly a plane, the Numenorians are trying to fly a plane, the Valinor, to bomb, you know, the, the seat, the seat of the, the, uh, the Vellar. And, uh, as a consequence, they were destroyed for the hubris.

• 2:27:55Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. And a lot of these mysterious Bermuda Triangle stuff, it's like, you know, it's more mysterious because no one survived. Let's talk about one where people did.

• 2:28:04Speaker 02

  There we go. Well, let's talk about that. Finally, a good fucking ship.

• 2:28:09Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:28:09Speaker 02

  Look at that topsail schooner. That is so, I, this is like, oh, beautiful. I'm doing the chef's kiss. People can't see.

• 2:28:17Justin Roczniak?

  This is the pride of Baltimore.

• 2:28:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is my, this is my pride and joy, yo.

• 2:28:23Justin Roczniak?

  The pride of Baltimore was laid down in April of 1976. It was launched in February 1977. It was commissioned by Mayor William Donald Schiefer on May 1st, 1977, as a global goodwill ambassador for the charm city, for the state of Maryland, and most importantly, for the Chesapeake Bay area, you know, the land of pleasant living.

• 2:28:49Speaker 02

  Just imagine like for Fleet Week, the pride of Baltimore coming into your fucking port to like, spread good, we are, we're spreading goodwill, yes, what's up?

• 2:28:57Justin Roczniak?

  Like, just tossing natty bows out.

• 2:28:59Speaker 02

  Here's, yo, guys, try some crab cakes.

• 2:29:03Justin Roczniak?

  It's a replica Baltimore Clipper, 90 feet long, 23 feet beam, nine foot nine inch draft. Did we lose November?

• 2:29:12November Kelly?

  Uh, no, I'm here. I just, I was, I was muted because I was busy trying to Photoshop an Amish buggy onto, uh, onto a pair of Air Force Navigator wings. Sorry.

• 2:29:24Speaker 02

  Oh, yes.

• 2:29:26Justin Roczniak?

  Uh, this, this, this is some real municipal goodness here. I was just, uh,

• 2:29:31November Kelly?

  I appreciate a mayor commissioning a sailing ship and I don't think enough mayors do that.

• 2:29:35Speaker 02

  No, and I,

• 2:29:35Justin Roczniak?

  This is entirely paid for by the city of Baltimore.

• 2:29:38Speaker 02

  I assumed that, I assumed that Nova was just struck in awe. Yeah. Like I can't say enough. This is a fucking beautiful ship. I, I want, I, I want it.

• 2:29:49Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, this is a, a topsail schooner, right?

• 2:29:52Speaker 02

  Topsail schooner, yeah.

• 2:29:53Justin Roczniak?

  This is built at tremendous expense to be as accurate to the original as possible with the original methods of craft, craftsmanship in full view of the public, um, adjacent to the Maryland Science Center, right there in the middle of the inner harbor, complete with demonstrations and tours of the construction, all paid for by the city.

• 2:30:17Speaker 02

  I'm just imagining, yeah, we're here, we're here at the Maryland Science Center and it's like a guy in a lab coat, but it's like, he's got a Ravens jersey on underneath. And we're here trying to figure out ways to, uh, get fucked up quicker. Uh, we've developed a natty boat with twice the alcohol.

• 2:30:33Justin Roczniak?

  Uh, give me, give me a second here, guys. My recording just stopped.

• 2:30:37Speaker 02

  Uh oh.

• 2:30:38Justin Roczniak?

  Fuck. I think I know why.

• 2:30:40Speaker 02

  Uh oh.

• 2:30:41Justin Roczniak?

  Let's see if I can, I can beat the, uh, clock here. Um,

• 2:30:46Speaker 02

  Your audio recording or your?

• 2:30:48Justin Roczniak?

  The audio, not the video, but the video will stop soon. Um,

• 2:30:52Speaker 02

  It, it's showing, it's showing on like, dang, disconnected.

• 2:30:57Justin Roczniak?

  Uh, but the local stopped due to lack of hard drive space. I think I beat it.

• 2:31:02Speaker 02

  Do you want it?

• 2:31:02November Kelly?

  Fingers crossed.

• 2:31:03Justin Roczniak?

  Yep. 20 gigabytes left. Says it's still recording. All right, let's go.

• 2:31:08Speaker 02

  So anyway, we're at the Maryland Science Center. We're trying, trying to develop advancements in crab cakes.

• 2:31:17Speaker 02

  Advancements in having an accent pretty similar to Philadelphia, but not quite.

• 2:31:25Justin Roczniak?

  All right, I got a second local going.

• 2:31:28November Kelly?

  Oh my god.

• 2:31:29Justin Roczniak?

  I knew I should have checked that before I started. I figured I had space though. Damn. Anyway, uh, you know, now it's gonna be impossible to buy hard drives owing to the, um, tariffs, but you know.

• 2:31:40November Kelly?

  That's true.

• 2:31:40Speaker 02

  You're just hot swapping hard drives as you're.

• 2:31:43Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 2:31:46Justin Roczniak?

  So yeah, they, they built this as sort of a, um, you know, a, a, a, a public service, right? As sort of, you know, we, we're going to have this as goodwill ambassador. It's also going to be an exhibit for the bicentennial. We're gonna build this Baltimore, we're gonna build this Baltimore Clipper. You know, we're gonna bring people around to see it. You know, this, this, this is entirely for the people. It's rare that you see like, um, civic mindedness like this anymore. You know, I, I mean, you know, these days people be like, why are you spending all that money on a boat when you could spend it on police beating up black people?

• 2:32:24Justin Roczniak?

  You know? This, uh, it's an incredible thing that they did. So it spent nine years sailing the seas and visited ports all over the Americas and Europe. It racked up about a hundred and fifty thousand miles. And on May fourteenth, nineteen eighty-six, while sailing home from Puerto Rico, she sailed into a microburst and capsized basically instantly and sank, killing three of the crew and the captain.

• 2:32:52Speaker 02

  They must have caught, caught it with like out like, like in a compromising position where you could like, like breathe the sails fast.

• 2:32:59Justin Roczniak?

  Nah, it was, it was really fast, apparently, according to the, the, the folks who survived. It was like there, it, it was, you know, cause this boat was known to, this ship was known to, you know, it was wet, as they say.

• 2:33:12November Kelly?

  Getting, getting like Barrett's privateer, but for the city of Baltimore in the seventies, in the seventies of like the twentieth century.

• 2:33:20Justin Roczniak?

  The, the, the mid eighties.

• 2:33:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:33:23Justin Roczniak?

  Jesus.

• 2:33:25Justin Roczniak?

  The storm was so violent, there was not even time to send a distress call, right? It just flipped over. Um, the remaining eight crew, uh, managed to cling to a partially inflated life raft for four days, uh, or I think five days. They were in a busy shipping lane and they at least had flares and they sighted about half dozen ships who didn't respond to the flares.

• 2:33:54November Kelly?

  It's like, fuck you don't want to, don't feel like it.

• 2:33:57Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:33:57Speaker 02

  I just, there's a, there's a special place in boat hell for you. Not rendering aid.

• 2:34:03Justin Roczniak?

  They were eventually picked up in the middle of the night by a passing Norwegian tanker who happened to spot them. Cause everyone's wearing a high vis stuff. They managed to somehow, they were out of flares.

• 2:34:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:34:17Justin Roczniak?

  But somehow this tanker spots them and, and the tanker picks them up and, you know, gives them food and shelter. The one guy was like, damn, we smelled really bad.

• 2:34:29Speaker 02

  The, the, there's actually flare strategy. I don't know if you know that there's, there's, there's like, when you're doing like your search and rescue training, there's like a, or any like boat operations training. There's like, yeah, you, there's like a certain way you use your flares. Like you're supposed to like, well, if you have aerial ones, you're supposed to use them first and then like signal your like fighter location with the handheld, but like, yeah, like you're not supposed to burn them all at once. I'm not saying they did, but like.

• 2:34:55Justin Roczniak?

  Nah, I don't think they did. I think it was just like.

• 2:34:59Speaker 02

  People are assholes.

• 2:35:00Justin Roczniak?

  People are assholes, I guess. Well, it was all like cruise ships and stuff. So, you know.

• 2:35:05Speaker 02

  It's probably a bunch of fucking Colts fans.

• 2:35:07Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 2:35:10Justin Roczniak?

  So this is, you know, ultimately I think the, the lesson of the Bermuda Triangle is like, okay, sometimes shit just happens. And, you know, that shit just happens to happen in the Bermuda Triangle. And the other thing is.

• 2:35:22November Kelly?

  Where low stuff occurs.

• 2:35:24Justin Roczniak?

  They immediately started building Pride of Baltimore too.

• 2:35:27Speaker 02

  Hell yeah.

• 2:35:28November Kelly?

  Hell yeah.

• 2:35:28Justin Roczniak?

  Which I believe is, uh, laid up at the moment. Um, they're, unfortunately it was, it's, they're transferring it to a nonprofit rather than having it owned by the city.

• 2:35:38Speaker 02

  Laid up in ordinary, her captain on half pay.

• 2:35:42Speaker 02

  That sounds like a Patrick O'Brian novel.

• 2:35:43November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 2:35:45Speaker 02

  Bring her back, bring her back. Every, every city should have a ship.

• 2:35:49Justin Roczniak?

  That's a good point, yeah.

• 2:35:50Speaker 02

  Like Philadelphia should, well, I like, alright, Philadelphia should have like a, like a frigate.

• 2:35:54Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, we got the Moschulu. I don't think that's seaworthy.

• 2:35:57Speaker 02

  Uh, no, we should have is a reproduction of the USS Philadelphia.

• 2:36:02Justin Roczniak?

  Hmm.

• 2:36:03Speaker 02

  Which I think was one of the original six. Was she a full ship? Uh, yeah, she was a full ship thirty six gun frigate. So she would have been like a, a six or eight, I guess, by British standards. How's the Photoshop going Nova?

• 2:36:16November Kelly?

  Yeah, real, real good, real good. I'm trying to, I'm trying to do like a tail section on a, on a, on a Pennsylvania Dutch buggy. Um, which it's going pretty well.

• 2:36:26Speaker 02

  Get the, get the, get like the SVG or like, so that way people can like put it on Blender and, and make liveries for Flight Sim.

• 2:36:34November Kelly?

  Hell, yeah.

• 2:36:36Justin Roczniak?

  So, yeah, even to this day, you know, things are still happening in the Bermuda Triangle, probably because it's part of the ocean.

• 2:36:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, like we said, the SS, the SS El Faro happened in the Bermuda Triangle.

• 2:36:47Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:36:48Speaker 02

  Because it's like part of the ocean.

• 2:36:49November Kelly?

  How deep does this conspiracy go?

• 2:36:52Speaker 02

  All the way to the underwater gun.

• 2:36:55Speaker 02

  All the way to Atlantis. Um, and here on this slide, I put this in here. This is just a, uh, uh, this is a nineteen fifty, um, Associated Press article. It popularized the idea before it was named the Bermuda Triangle. And you could see, and also, um, beautiful handwritten, uh, lettering here describing the different vessels that disappeared.

• 2:37:15November Kelly?

  Oh, that is lovely, yeah.

• 2:37:16Speaker 02

  Flight nine, Flight nineteen is on there. Um, I'm trying to see, oh, Star Tiger's on there.

• 2:37:20November Kelly?

  I love how that turns into like a PBM rescue plane with thirteen aboard was also lost as opposed to exploded mid-flight. Because like all of the pipes were made out of like cardboard and leaked kerosene everywhere.

• 2:37:35Speaker 02

  I'm reading the captions. This map made by a staff artist. Remember when they used to have those?

• 2:37:40November Kelly?

  Oh, my God.

• 2:37:41Justin Roczniak?

  Many moons ago when these old folks were young, yeah.

• 2:37:44November Kelly?

  We used to. Plane, plane carrying thirty two persons flew nearly a thousand miles toward Miami but never arrived.

• 2:37:51Justin Roczniak?

  Mysteries of air, see, remind moderns, the shrinking world still swallows up men.

• 2:37:57Speaker 02

  What a headline. No one's gonna foot rate a fucking, no, with the headlines now are, are, uh, train runs into people. Like, oh, we jumped on it, did it? You could still disappear forever and never be found. Yeah.

• 2:38:10Justin Roczniak?

  I like, uh, moderns as a derogatory term.

• 2:38:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Remind feckless moderns.

• 2:38:16Justin Roczniak?

  Feckless moderns.

• 2:38:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, whoever wrote this was like a big in the celestial navigation. This radio thing will never serve. Never serve. You have to know your stars. You have to know your Canopus and Arcturus.

• 2:38:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I, but it, no, it's a great headline because yeah, even though it's a shrinking world, so you have like a nice, you have like, you have nice figurative language. You know, it swallows up men because you're not, we think, we think we're the master of the world. I really do. We still do. Like, and we're not that far removed from, from, from fucking steam engines and, and, and having to pop up to the fucking navigation dome.

• 2:38:53Justin Roczniak?

  Hmm. Yeah, and we, but, but we did develop the weather machine to send hurricanes away.

• 2:38:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:39:00Justin Roczniak?

  But they'll still have to go through here. We're not that good yet.

• 2:39:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, we could, they have to, they have to gain a little momentum before we can push them. Yeah. Um, all right, you can go to the next slide. This one fucking drives me nuts. So.

• 2:39:13Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:39:14Speaker 02

  I, I was looking for a map of common, uh, seagoing routes of trade in the Bermuda Triangle. You'll see that somewhere in this gallery of bullshit is, uh, is that somewhere. Never came back. What really happened? Did he survive this? Did he survive? Uh, yeah, let's, let's look at these. Uh. I hate YouTube. I've, just pilot survive. This is what he said. We saw, he saw what? A plane, a fucking like Mooney flying into a, a vortex or lightning underneath. I like how the one, the sec, like, like column one, row two, which is like a, it's, it's the AI generated instead of like a whirlpool, like a triangle shape.

• 2:39:55Justin Roczniak?

  It's a triangle whirlpool, yeah.

• 2:39:58Speaker 02

  Just ships being sunk. Did he survive this? This was the last time I saw them. Unlocking Bermuda Triangle's darkest secrets. Bermuda Triangle.

• 2:40:08November Kelly?

  Bermuda Triangle.

• 2:40:10Justin Roczniak?

  I like the idea that the Bermuda Triangle is actually just a small, triangle-shaped depression in the ocean.

• 2:40:16Speaker 02

  That's.

• 2:40:16Justin Roczniak?

  And no one was able to avoid this.

• 2:40:18November Kelly?

  Yeah, you, you, you, you see it and you're like, oh, fuck. It's over.

• 2:40:23Speaker 02

  It, it's sucking in an A380. It's pulling an A380 from 40,000 feet down into it.

• 2:40:30Justin Roczniak?

  If Skila and Chiribnis were like modern navigational obstacles that you just say, all right, just don't go near them.

• 2:40:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's pretty easy.

• 2:40:41Justin Roczniak?

  It's like, okay, about six dotical miles out, um, you know, when you get near the sirens, put your earplugs in, um, you know, we would have procedures about this.

• 2:40:53Speaker 02

  Oh, I, I should have clicked on this. This says Bermuda Triangle Miracle Silence, and it's an AI-generated image of a whirlpool, but also like a water spell inside the whirlpool. And it says the Bermuda Triangle, and it's a PowerPoint.

• 2:41:05November Kelly?

  That rolls.

• 2:41:06Speaker 02

  Oh, I should, I should have, I should have looked that up. But, um, yeah, it's, or we have, we have like a toxic sign and this, that plane, that's a 787 that looks like to be, uh, coming out of the ocean. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just.

• 2:41:19Justin Roczniak?

  All right, you want, you want like a, you know, a horrible bizarre like, uh, phenomenon in terms of the ocean, look at the Bay of Fundy. I mean.

• 2:41:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's some weird shit.

• 2:41:30Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 2:41:32Speaker 02

  Listen, I've, I've flown over the Bermuda Triangle several times in actual real life. I, I am not dead yet.

• 2:41:38November Kelly?

  I think, I, I think a lot of people have.

• 2:41:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:41:40November Kelly?

  It's the thing.

• 2:41:41Speaker 02

  Anyone who's.

• 2:41:41November Kelly?

  The mystery is, is not, it doesn't have hands anymore.

• 2:41:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:41:45Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:41:45Speaker 02

  We have, you, we have like live 24/7 coverage of the ocean.

• 2:41:51November Kelly?

  You can pull up Flight Radar, you can pull up, well, in fact, uh.

• 2:41:54Justin Roczniak?

  MarineTraffic.com.

• 2:41:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That might be, uh, oh, here's my rant. God, I fucking hate AI, fucking hate the internet. The internet should have been Wikipedia email. We peaked in 93, just end this pilot, this fucking planet already. Look at these titles and thumbnails. This is the stuff that teachers, teenagers watch instead of reading at school. This is why hacks like Brandon Sanderson have jobs. This is why people are writing books with info boxes in them, describing character stats and like their power rankings and shit in the middle of a fucking book.

• 2:42:23November Kelly?

  There's, there's, there's a real darkness in Brandon Sanderson. I read, I read a long piece about him that like. Got some of the surface weirdness, but I think missed some of the like real there's, there's, I don't know. I, I, I felt brushed by the wings of something dark with Brandon Sanderson.

• 2:42:42Speaker 02

  Was that the one where the guy lived with him for like a couple of days?

• 2:42:45November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:42:46Speaker 02

  If you, I, I, I've said this to you before, if there's ever anyone, though, if you want to do a takedown in this motherfucker, I watched all of his lectures. Hate watch them.

• 2:42:56November Kelly?

  Uh huh.

• 2:42:56Speaker 02

  Uh, I, I, I, I hate that he sucks. He's so fucking feckless.

• 2:43:00Justin Roczniak?

  I don't know who this person is.

• 2:43:02November Kelly?

  He's like, he's like a Mormon science fiction author.

• 2:43:05Speaker 02

  Uh, and there's gonna be people who are like, and then when like, but like, but Tom, you suck. Cause like I read in the book, when it, when like the, the, the ghost, like that floats around that tells you what emotion you're supposed to feel said sad. I cried and it made me feel really important and like, like, like, like the racism, like where it's your eye color. That really like stood in for like the racism of like your skin color. Um, and I thought that was really good world building. Read adult books. Stop reading Harry Potter.

• 2:43:36Speaker 02

  Fucking read, God, read, read, but you want, you want to be sad, read anything a Russian's ever written.

• 2:43:41Justin Roczniak?

  I was, um, over last weekend, I, I watched, uh, it was part of Adam Curtis's, uh, I forget what the documentary was called. I got really mad because it looked really anti-nuclear. And then, you know, at the very end, there was an interview with one of the Soviet scientists. And he was like, well, our reactors sucked because our scientists never read Dostoevsky and Tolstoy. And I was like, oh shit, no, this is entirely right.

• 2:44:09Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:44:09Justin Roczniak?

  My opinion has gone 180 degrees.

• 2:44:13Speaker 02

  You need a broad education.

• 2:44:16Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:44:17Speaker 02

  You can't just have STEM.

• 2:44:18Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, no, you, you, you read good literature, not young adult novels. That's trash that's supposed to go into garbage.

• 2:44:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, this is the most cancelable thing. I, I have said stuff like this back when I was still active on Twitter and I had had people like go off on. You want to read it for fun? Fucking go ahead. But it's like, like I like, I'm going to eat a cheesesteak. I'm not going to eat a cheesesteak every fucking day. I gotta get some vegetables and, and you know, yeah, go, go, go read literature. That's a vegetable of the brain. It's kind of fucking wild.

• 2:44:51Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. Yeah, you have to, you have to get, get some good fiction in you. I, I mean, yeah, this is also like a danger of reading too much nonfiction books.

• 2:45:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:45:02Justin Roczniak?

  It's like, damn, I got World War II pilled because I read too many dad books.

• 2:45:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, you had, it's a balanced diet, you know, and you need your Star Trek technical.

• 2:45:10Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, this is also true.

• 2:45:12Speaker 02

  I have to need, I need to know how, how the holodeck collects the come, uh, that's clearly covering the floors. And using that in the replicators, because it's, to break it down to constituent matter, you can go to the next slide.

• 2:45:25Speaker 02

  Whoa, whoa, not linger. Look, here's, this was a snapshot taken today by, by me, uh, looking at marine traffic. Look at all those boats going through Bermuda Triangle.

• 2:45:35Justin Roczniak?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:45:35Speaker 02

  I, I, I wonder how many of them made it safely home. Probably all of them, because we would have heard about it.

• 2:45:39Justin Roczniak?

  That's a lot of boats. Except for the ones up here in Cape Hatteras. All these guys are dead.

• 2:45:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:45:44November Kelly?

  Oh, God, terrifying. Yeah, you just can't ship anything through that.

• 2:45:48Speaker 02

  Listen, it's called the graveyard of the Atlantic for a fucking reason.

• 2:45:53Justin Roczniak?

  I can't believe they sent people there.

• 2:45:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. We, nominative determinism sometimes, you know, uh, is real, especially if the name came after the thing that happened.

• 2:46:03Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 2:46:05Speaker 02

  So, so I, I have like, so what's the real cause? Is it like the spooky vortex? And we didn't even touch the, the methane, uh, was, how do you say, ferret?

• 2:46:14Justin Roczniak?

  Clathrates.

• 2:46:15Speaker 02

  Clathrit theory where, where, uh, methane is bubbling out of, because of global warming, out of the seabed. And it's reducing the density of the water and these like boats are just sinking.

• 2:46:26Justin Roczniak?

  That wouldn't make sense even 50 years ago.

• 2:46:29Speaker 02

  It's, it's, it's, it's called, it's called hurricanes. It's called hurricanes.

• 2:46:33Justin Roczniak?

  Once that problem gets bad enough, we're already dead.

• 2:46:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. Or, or is it like a case of cherry picking data from a high traffic area that's also prone to severe weather?

• 2:46:43November Kelly?

  Uh, probably.

• 2:46:44Speaker 02

  It's probably.

• 2:46:45November Kelly?

  You can never, can you ever be sure? I don't think so.

• 2:46:48Speaker 02

  I, it could be the ghosts that are driving the weather. I mean.

• 2:46:50November Kelly?

  Hmm, hmm.

• 2:46:51Speaker 02

  God's way.

• 2:46:52November Kelly?

  We're forced to, we're forced to assume so and, uh, panic.

• 2:46:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, here's, and here's the most important like fact, right? If you, if you own a ship, you don't have to pay any extra insurance for going through the Bermuda Triangle. If it really was a thing, they would be charging you up the ass.

• 2:47:06Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 2:47:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. Why are you going to take that into the death zone? You know, like, please don't do that. We don't, you're, you're actually, your contract is void now because you, it would be like a right, like, like a clause in it, like, all right, you can't take your ship to Bermuda Triangle unless you pay the money because, uh, everyone dies there.

• 2:47:22Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, it would be like conducting any business in the United States six months from now.

• 2:47:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. Like if I, if I.

• 2:47:32Justin Roczniak?

  What are you doing? Get out.

• 2:47:35Speaker 02

  Like, I'm sure there's like a clause in my, in my life insurance that if I, if I built like my own, my own space rocket and, and blew myself up, they might be like, yeah, that was fucking idiot. Like, we're not paying. This is for, this is for a heart attack, not for, not for trying to become like, not trying to build a rocket.

• 2:47:53Justin Roczniak?

  Not trying to be Elon Musk.

• 2:47:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. Uh, yeah. So, and, uh, there was a quote from Noah. I'll, I'll leave that. It says, there's no evidence that mysterious disappearances occur with any greater frequency than Bermuda Triangle, any other large, well-traveled area of the ocean.

• 2:48:08November Kelly?

  That's fine. They, they fired the guy who wrote that. So like now Noah's gonna be like, ah, no, draw your own conclusions.

• 2:48:14Speaker 02

  You dropped, you jumped on me there. That's what I was gonna say next.

• 2:48:16November Kelly?

  Sorry, sorry.

• 2:48:17Speaker 02

  It's okay. It's okay. Um, yeah. So, uh, what's the verdict? I guess Bermuda Triangle, uh, real? Is it fake? Uh, Devin, can you put in the, the, um, Jonathan Frakes? Um, it's fake. We made it up.

• 2:48:33Speaker 02

  It's fake.

• 2:48:34November Kelly?

  It's, it's real, but really selectively like it did the like British airplane, but none of the other ones.

• 2:48:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:48:41Justin Roczniak?

  It's gonna be like 50 years from now, like Flight 19 is gonna come back in.

• 2:48:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:48:46Justin Roczniak?

  You know?

• 2:48:47November Kelly?

  Sorry, guys.

• 2:48:48Speaker 02

  Well, maybe, maybe like, there's like some weird Antipode thing. So like Flight 19 will come out of the Indian Ocean and then like Malaysian Airlines Flight was 370 will pop up out of the Bermuda Triangle.

• 2:48:58Justin Roczniak?

  And they crash into each other.

• 2:49:00Speaker 02

  Oh, shit.

• 2:49:01Justin Roczniak?

  God.

• 2:49:03Justin Roczniak?

  Just like, yeah.

• 2:49:04Speaker 02

  It's because it, it's because they don't teach celestial navigation anymore.

• 2:49:07Justin Roczniak?

  Exactly twice.

• 2:49:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. That would have been a fun episode of, uh, what's that episode of Star Trek? Yesterday's Enterprise where the Enterprise C comes out of the time vortex. But imagine that, that the Enterprise D just like run into it. They just both explode and see it.

• 2:49:22Speaker 02

  It just end credits.

• 2:49:26Justin Roczniak?

  End of the series.

• 2:49:27Speaker 02

  End of the series.

• 2:49:28Justin Roczniak?

  It's not a time loop. Uh, that's just the end of the series. Five minute episodes. Go to commercial.

• 2:49:35Justin Roczniak?

  That would be a really funny way to end the Star Trek series. They cry and they all die. That's it.

• 2:49:40Speaker 02

  I hope that's how they, I hope that's how they end Discovery.

• 2:49:43Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:49:45Speaker 02

  That show fucking sucks. Oh, it's the mycelium. Fuck, fuck, shut the fuck. And you go into the 32nd century and you had ships with the cells that aren't attached to the ship. They look, they look like, like, like fucking, just, I don't know. They just fucking look stupid. Make the ships look cool. Yeah, fucking, fuck you.

• 2:50:01Justin Roczniak?

  Ah, we found out a spatial anomaly. We better go into it. Oh, it turns out it was a black hole.

• 2:50:07Speaker 02

  Shit.

• 2:50:09Speaker 02

  Or, or, yeah, they called it a black star in the, in the, uh, the, uh, original series. Like, oh, what do they mean by that? Oh, black.

• 2:50:17Justin Roczniak?

  Well.

• 2:50:19Speaker 02

  All right.

• 2:50:20Justin Roczniak?

  So, yeah, Bermuda Triangle is fine.

• 2:50:23November Kelly?

  Bermuda Triangle disproved conspiracy theorists in pieces.

• 2:50:28Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, exactly. We've debunked it finally.

• 2:50:31Speaker 02

  On the thumbnail.

• 2:50:31Justin Roczniak?

  Don't go to Cape Hatteras unless you're on the beaches.

• 2:50:35Speaker 02

  The thumbnail needs to be Roz doing like a Ben Shapiro like, yeah.

• 2:50:41Justin Roczniak?

  Don't go into the Bermuda Triangle or do go into the Bermuda Triangle.

• 2:50:45November Kelly?

  Let's say for the sake of argument, the, the Oramo flight of US Navy, uh, uh, torpedo bombers. And let's say for the sake of argument that you don't know what you're doing. Um, and let's say hypothetically, the compasses on your aircraft break.

• 2:50:57Justin Roczniak?

  What would you do?

• 2:50:58Speaker 02

  Well, you're supposed to have compasses on your airplane. The airplane's compasses are tied into the clocks. So why would you get rid of them? It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any logical sense. These are men in World War II. They knew how, what they were doing. This sounds to me like some sort of woke smear campaign designed to make us think that men from Corpus Christi can't fly planes. And I don't believe that.

• 2:51:19November Kelly?

  We, we are scared by the fact that this Texan man didn't have pronouns.

• 2:51:23Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 2:51:25Speaker 02

  The only man without pronouns, pronouns in existence.

• 2:51:28Justin Roczniak?

  Wow.

• 2:51:29November Kelly?

  You can't refer to him.

• 2:51:31Justin Roczniak?

  My pronouns are well and I see. My pronouns are sweet and tea.

• 2:51:41Justin Roczniak?

  Now, we have a segment on this podcast called Safety Third. Trying to do Eric Adams, eh?

• 2:51:50Justin Roczniak?

  Ahoy, Nova, Liam and Roz. That's a good greeting. The ahoy was well chosen, I thought, yeah. No Liam, unfortunately. And various awesome guest hosts. Ah, saved it. I would like to share a story about aviation safety. Yes. And a hastily thought out and very stupid idea. I once worked as a mechanic for a small flying service. We operated a fleet of small seaplanes. Oh, my God. One of which is the subject of this story. I hope that's the seaplane.

• 2:52:23Justin Roczniak?

  This is a gorgeous truck. I got to start playing snow runner again. On the very first day on the job, my first task was assisting in beaching a seaplane from the ocean onto a poorly maintained homemade trailer and towing it across the airfield to our hangar where it needed to be serviced. This was normally done with a well-worn and very rusty pickup truck owing to the fact that it was regularly driven into the ocean. This rules, this rules. And then also used to spread salt on icy winter roads. Oh, it had never had a chance.

• 2:53:03Justin Roczniak?

  On this particular day, a large amount of slimy seaweed had washed ashore and this truck, which had most of its bed underwater and was blowing bubbles out the tailpipe like a kid with a straw and a cup of Coca-Cola, had become buried up to the axles in seaweed, unable to move and unable to disengage the attached seaplane, which was sitting on the trailer, holding it to the seafloor. The floats were only partially floating. Nightmare. A fellow mechanic and I were dispatched in another pickup truck with a chain and a handheld

• 2:53:44Justin Roczniak?

  radio. Since we had to keep two-way communications with everyone else using the airfield lest we cross into the path of an arriving or departing aircraft. In hindsight, this was a really stupid mission.

• 2:53:59November Kelly?

  As I say, nothing I haven't done in Snow Runner or Spent Tires.

• 2:54:03Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Hook a truck to a truck to a trailer to a 70-year-old airplane and tow it out of the ocean.

• 2:54:12November Kelly?

  When I used to play Kerbal Space Program, this is how all my space missions tended to end.

• 2:54:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, just fucking go out there and pull it back. I just, your capsule accidentally like gets sent to the bottom of the ocean. You start freaking the fuck out of the last of both of you.

• 2:54:30Justin Roczniak?

  You ever seen like the specially modified like sea plane, sea plane specific pickup trucks?

• 2:54:36November Kelly?

  Oh yeah, they were all the really high ones that you can like crank upwards.

• 2:54:40Justin Roczniak?

  No, like they cut, they cut the bed off and then they put an extension on the front.

• 2:54:45Speaker 02

  Oh shit, that's pretty cool looking.

• 2:54:47November Kelly?

  Let me, let me Google this real quick.

• 2:54:49Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. This is evidently not one of these, but.

• 2:54:52Speaker 02

  It's very funny looking. It's like a backwards truck.

• 2:54:55Justin Roczniak?

  It's a backwards truck, yeah. When we arrived at the beach, we parked the second truck on wet grass and we attached it to the half-submerged seaweed-encased truck with a 20-foot-long chain. I got out with a handheld radio to act as the safety observer, which was not very effective, owing to the insane cacophony that was about to commence. What I saw still blows my mind to this day. The mechanic in the second truck took up the slack and began to pull with two four-by-four trucks pulling with all their might and spinning their tiles, tires wildly

• 2:55:35Justin Roczniak?

  against wet vegetation. This convoy went nowhere. The pilot had the idea to utilize the thrust of the sea plane.

• 2:55:45November Kelly?

  Reverse thrust.

• 2:55:46Justin Roczniak?

  Reverse thrust.

• 2:55:48November Kelly?

  The sound of this seaweed being ground into nothing.

• 2:55:53Justin Roczniak?

  To utilize the thrust of the seaplane as a third source of power to push the trailer and attached truck up the beach.

• 2:56:02Speaker 02

  This is me.

• 2:56:03November Kelly?

  Yeah, sure, why not?

• 2:56:04Speaker 02

  This is me getting yelled at in playing bat in Bat Sim and Flight Simulator because I use reverse thrusts to back away from the terminal. You can't do that. You're not allowed to do that.

• 2:56:16Justin Roczniak?

  I do what I want. We established radio communications between the three vehicles and myself and began the maneuver, which with each operator having independent throttle control over their respective vehicle, much like old timey steam train engineers had to do to start moving a multi-unit freight train.

• 2:56:39November Kelly?

  Push-pull, right?

• 2:56:41Justin Roczniak?

  The driver of the stock truck gave it full throttle instantly and dug it deeper into the mire, while the other two operators applied steadily increasing power as they began to inch forward. Progress was not fast and the amount of power to complete the maneuver needed to be increased.

• 2:57:03November Kelly?

  You are going to crush the middle guy like into a cube.

• 2:57:07Justin Roczniak?

  At first, it started to look like the dumbass express would solve the problem of getting on an airplane with no wheels unmired from the seaweed and onto dry land as this corrosion-riddled mechanical centipede inched very slowly up the beach. And then all hell broke loose with the combined horsepower of the two trucks with their eight spinning wheels with essentially no traction and the aircraft pushing now at full takeoff power with its float shoved against the front bulkhead of the trailer. There was over 1,000 combined horsepower now engaged in an effort to move about 20 feet.

• 2:57:50Justin Roczniak?

  When the stuck trucks rear wheels had finally breached the surface of the ocean, they suddenly broke through the seaweed and dug into the beach surface, which was made of sand and medium sized rocks.

• 2:58:03November Kelly?

  Oh, God.

• 2:58:04Justin Roczniak?

  The chaos that erupted sounded like a miniature version of a World War II air battle as a nine cylinder, 450 horsepower radial aircraft engine in the rear and two V8 truck engines in the front roared and the second truck sprayed fist sized rocks towards the airplane, which was, again, I cannot stress this enough, at full throttle takeoff power, spinning an eight foot metal propeller. Rock and sand instantly began to bounce off the trailer and the hollow metal floats of the airplane, which, if you know anything about acoustics, sounded like a death metal drummer on acid.

• 2:58:46Justin Roczniak?

  People across the bay told me they heard it from up to a mile away.

• 2:58:53Justin Roczniak?

  Miraculously, none hit the aircraft itself, as far as we know, as it sat approximately four feet above the floats. So I guess gravity kept it safe. The semi-submersible truck driver essentially dirt bike style roosted a pickup truck at an airplane full power with beach sand and rocks.

• 2:59:12November Kelly?

  Jesus.

• 2:59:13Justin Roczniak?

  When I thought about the carnage that even a single, let alone hundreds of rocks, kicked up by spinning tires hitting a propeller spinning at 2,400 RPMs could have done, I vowed never to do anything like this again.

• 2:59:25November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 2:59:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:59:29Justin Roczniak?

  Had the truck been better maintained and equipped with better tires, there likely would have been a shredded wreck of an airplane. Or maybe it wouldn't gotten stuck in the first place. I guess we'll never know.

• 2:59:38November Kelly?

  I'm falling out of love with seaplanes, which is a difficult thing to say as someone who loves the movie Porcaroso.

• 2:59:45Justin Roczniak?

  Sometimes they just explode for no reason. I mean, yeah.

• 2:59:48November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 2:59:49Justin Roczniak?

  In hindsight, we should have coupled the first truck to one of the many tractors or construction vehicles on or around the airfield, which likely would have snapped it in half. But time is money, so we used a short daisy chain of medium duty rotten pickup trucks with poor traction instead and nearly destroyed a $500,000 aircraft.

• 3:00:11Speaker 02

  Why don't we have a pickup truck multiple units? I mean, that would be.

• 3:00:14Justin Roczniak?

  That would make a lot of sense to me, yeah. How do the, how do the, how do the guys who do like the high and wide loads do it? You know, they, they can pitch up multiple like tractor trailers together, you know? So when the dumbass express, which had traveled only approximately 80 feet, was finally on dry level ground. We pulled all the rocks and slimy seaweed off the trailer and the seaplane floats. And the rusty wreck of a pickup truck successfully pulled the rickety monstrosity to the hangar. From whence it still flies to this day. I'm assuming that's seaplane and not the pickup truck.

• 3:00:54Justin Roczniak?

  I greatly enjoy your podcast. It helps keep stupid crap like this from occurring while also keeping smiles on thousands of faces. Thank you. Please don't cancel your Patreon. All the best from Piper. He, him, they. Thank you, Piper. Thank you, Piper.

• 3:01:09Speaker 02

  I was, I was sort of hoping that the, the plane that will take up power would, would start lifting the truck and towing, towing the truck. Like it starts to fly, but it's like barely airborne. It's just the truck is just getting dragged.

• 3:01:24Justin Roczniak?

  It pulls the trailer up with it and the truck's just dangling from the edge.

• 3:01:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's just like knocking shit over. And the plane's just flying on its own. There's no one in there.

• 3:01:37Speaker 02

  That would have been very, that would have been horrible.

• 3:01:39Justin Roczniak?

  Flies directly, flies directly to the Bermuda Triangle.

• 3:01:43Justin Roczniak?

  Dro, a kind of drone seaplane.

• 3:01:45Speaker 02

  And like actually the spinning action caused by the, the, the fugly flight, uh, shape actually creates the vortex. And then like, you know, a, a full A380 flies out of it just in that thumbnail.

• 3:01:57Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. And then the plane from the vert vortex, the course has changed and it flies directly into the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse.

• 3:02:07Speaker 02

  Just, just as they're loading it on the train and knocks it over.

• 3:02:12Speaker 02

  And the whole time it's going.

• 3:02:19Justin Roczniak?

  All right, well, that was safety third.

• 3:02:25Justin Roczniak?

  Our next episode will be on Chernobyl. Does anyone have commercials before we go?

• 3:02:30Speaker 02

  Go listen to 10,000 losses podcast. It's the only Philadelphia sports podcast that exists and.

• 3:02:37Justin Roczniak?

  Learn all kinds of exciting things from the last episode, such as why all sex in space will have to be BDSM.

• 3:02:48Justin Roczniak?

  Cause otherwise you just float away.

• 3:02:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. Unless, unless, unless that's being a bratty sub.

• 3:02:58Speaker 02

  She keeps losing the straps, goddammit.

• 3:03:02Speaker 02

  No, yeah, go listen to that because Roz had to step in because the same reason I'm, I'm in here because Liam's off gallivanting in a place.

• 3:03:11Justin Roczniak?

  Wow, who would do that? Typical. Yeah.

• 3:03:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. Go listen to that podcast. Uh, you want to find me Tom Paine on Blue Sky. Um, and yeah, go listen to that podcast. Bad Roz on, we've had Nova on, um, and one of our bonuses and it's tangentially about sports at this point.

• 3:03:31Justin Roczniak?

  You have the sports in the middle to add structure and then you just, you know, you talk about things.

• 3:03:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. And our like, our, our success or whatever is entirely tied to how good the sports teams are doing. You get, we got like a thousand first week downloads on like one with the Super Bowl. I guess people were just like, ah, fuck it. I'll listen to this one. They're talking about the Super Bowl. They're actually talking about sports.

• 3:03:51Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 3:03:51Speaker 02

  But, uh, yeah, no, go, go check that one out.

• 3:03:54Justin Roczniak?

  In short, go Phil's.

• 3:03:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, go Phil's. Beat the Dodgers.

• 3:03:58Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 3:03:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. So we missed that, but you, we gave the Dodgers their first loss. I think these Phillies, I think these kids are good.

• 3:04:04Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 3:04:05Speaker 02

  They might be good at baseball.

• 3:04:07Justin Roczniak?

  Perfect. All right. Sounds good.

• 3:04:09Speaker 02

  All right.

• 3:04:09Justin Roczniak?

  Let's hope it was perfect.

• 3:04:11Speaker 02

  All right. If my face is in this dev, then please delete it.

• 3:04:14Justin Roczniak?

  How do I? All right. No, that's the wrong button.

• 3:04:16Speaker 02

  You have to hit the stop button.

• 3:04:17Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I have to hit the stop.