Ep 270: Kathleen Madigan

Mark and Sam are joined by Kathleen Madigan for a wide-ranging, boozy, old-school comedy hang that hits everything from whiskey gifts and bad wallets to sports ownership disasters, late comics, road stories, and why some people should never be in charge of anything. Kathleen talks about growing up Midwest, touring Europe, quitting cigarettes, loving bars that still feel human, and why stand-up takes as long as it takes. The conversation bounces through football, comedy specials, sitcoms, podcasts, vaping, parenting, aging legends, and the strange pressure of modern comedy, with plenty of classic shop talk and unfiltered opinions along the way. Sponsored by: Upgrade your wallet today. Get 10% off Ridge with code DRUNK at https://ridge.com/DRUNK IQ Bar Text DRUNK to 64,000 to get 20% off all IQ Bar products, including the ultimate sampler pack. Message and data rates may apply. Raycon Go to https://BuyRaycon.com/mightbedrunkOPEN to get 15% off Raycon Essential Open Earbuds. Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #KathleenMadigan #MarkNormand #SamMorril #Ridge #IQBar #Raycon #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Sam Morril?

  Hey, we're back. We got Kathleen Madigan here. This has been the works for a while.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. We keep, uh, kinda missing each other.

• 0:13Sam Morril?

  I'm pumped you're here.

• 0:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, I like this, um, this is a fun vibe.

• 0:17Mark Normand?

  Hey, thank you.

• 0:18Sam Morril?

  I think you're one of the first people to bring booze.

• 0:20Mark Normand?

  Oh, my god.

• 0:21Sam Morril?

  She brought us both a bottle.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  You should always bring a gift.

• 0:23Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 0:23Sam Morril?

  Richard Jefferson, NBA player, brought, he got fucking hammered on Lagavulin. He brought some scotch. Who else came?

• 0:29Mark Normand?

  Burt Kreischer brought shitty vodka.

• 0:33Sam Morril?

  Stan Hope, Stan Hope brought Trader Joe's wine. That was pretty cool.

• 0:37Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, that was fun. That was a nice touch.

• 0:39Sam Morril?

  Is this like a special Jack Daniels?

• 0:40Speaker 01

  Yes, yes, it's a special one from Nashville.

• 0:42Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 0:44Sam Morril?

  We gotta try some of this, dude.

• 0:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'll have a swig. He brought two?

• 0:48Speaker 01

  One for you.

• 0:50Sam Morril?

  We'll keep them in studio. We'll drink them.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Take them home, whatever you want.

• 0:52Mark Normand?

  I wish you were my mom. Look at that.

• 0:55Speaker 01

  You each get your own.

• 0:57Sam Morril?

  Matt, can we get some glasses? Oh, no, should we drink a neat on the rocks? What do you think?

• 1:01Mark Normand?

  I like a little cubeage.

• 1:02Sam Morril?

  A cube?

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm a cube person too, but I don't know if it's a bad day. I don't want the ice cube. I just wanna feel it.

• 1:09Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:10Sam Morril?

  Are you a whiskey drinker?

• 1:12Speaker 01

  Occasionally, if things are, well, I love JMo.

• 1:15Sam Morril?

  I love JMo.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  But like a shot. I don't really wanna drink it all night or anything like that. A shot.

• 1:20Mark Normand?

  It's sponsored by McLaren, which seems a little, uh...

• 1:23Sam Morril?

  Elitist?

• 1:24Mark Normand?

  Inappropriate. No, just like it's a car company. Let's get drunk and drive.

• 1:28Sam Morril?

  Have you ever been into McLaren?

• 1:29Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:30Sam Morril?

  I know a guy who had one. He drove me around in one. It's fucking amazing.

• 1:34Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:34Speaker 01

  I wouldn't know it if I saw it.

• 1:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, you pull up a McLaren, they're wild.

• 1:38Sam Morril?

  You feel, so you can be going 40 and you feel the breeze in your face.

• 1:41Mark Normand?

  Wow. I just watched F1. That's a fun with Brad Pitt.

• 1:46Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah, but it's two hours and 40 minutes.

• 1:48Mark Normand?

  Is it that long?

• 1:49Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 1:49Mark Normand?

  Boy, it flew by.

• 1:50Sam Morril?

  That movie should've been two hours.

• 1:51Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:52Sam Morril?

  It was fun.

• 1:53Speaker 01

  Yes, they used to, um, when I lived in LA, they would park those in Beverly Hills on Rodeo Drive.

• 1:59Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  To like get people to come over and then go in the store. But it was like clickbait for rich people.

• 2:04Mark Normand?

  Totally, totally, yeah.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  Like go look at the, but I mean, I went over and looked at it and I don't even care about cars, but it was like, what's that?

• 2:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 2:11Speaker 03

  422,000.

• 2:12Sam Morril?

  Oh, my god.

• 2:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it was, uh...

• 2:13Speaker 01

  220?

• 2:14Speaker 03

  422,000.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  420.

• 2:16Sam Morril?

  And it's not practical. Like you can fit nothing in there.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Well, isn't it one of those things too? You kinda gotta know how to drive it?

• 2:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  Like, are you just gonna die?

• 2:25Sam Morril?

  Well, also, also, they have this special technology, I think. Look this up, if it flips.

• 2:30Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 2:31Sam Morril?

  Look up the technology for McLaren flips. I think it's supposed to be like insane.

• 2:35Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 2:35Sam Morril?

  Cause they're crazy safe. Well, that doesn't look good.

• 2:38Speaker 01

  Oh my god, it's horrible.

• 2:39Sam Morril?

  Maybe I'm an idiot. I'm like, no, they're safe. First picture that comes up, there's a baby's head cut in half.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  Jesus. Yeah, those people are definitely dead.

• 2:49Sam Morril?

  Cheers, by the way.

• 2:49Mark Normand?

  Hey, cheers.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  My 420 sweet water.

• 2:53Mark Normand?

  Mazel tov.

• 2:57Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, that's like smooth as hell.

• 3:01Mark Normand?

  Geez, this is a problem.

• 3:02Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's the problem.

• 3:03Mark Normand?

  Too easy.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  It's a problem in a bottle.

• 3:05Mark Normand?

  I could, I could drive a McLaren after this. That's good stuff.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  Can I video it from my YouTube? I just wanna make the money.

• 3:15Mark Normand?

  I think a DUI is a good thing for a comic to get and like go public with, cause it's, it's, you didn't like diddle a kid, like it's a good problem for your publicity. You know what I'm saying?

• 3:26Sam Morril?

  Maybe John Reed does have a DUI, though.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, I don't even know about all that. Yeah.

• 3:34Sam Morril?

  No, but what is, yeah, what is the deal with, uh, why is it good? It's not good.

• 3:39Mark Normand?

  I'm not saying it's good, I'm saying like if you're gonna get in trouble for, as a comedian, a DUI is, is kind of a funny crime.

• 3:45Sam Morril?

  As long as you didn't do, as long as you didn't hit anything.

• 3:47Mark Normand?

  Well, that's a good point. I didn't think about that. I didn't think about that part.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, I think he's saying it compares into child molestation.

• 3:54Sam Morril?

  Well, most things are comparative.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  Or like breaking and entering, like your ex's house.

• 3:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah, or hitting a woman.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  It's crazy shit.

• 3:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it is better than hitting a woman.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Just go to my fantasy football league and look at my team. I'll tell you things that were not good. You shouldn't have done.

• 4:06Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  Rice, you don't leave the scene of the accident. Yeah, I mean, there's, yeah.

• 4:10Sam Morril?

  That was crazy.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  And then even Metcalf, really? You punched a fan?

• 4:14Sam Morril?

  That was crazy.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  What is wrong with you?

• 4:15Mark Normand?

  Was that a punch, though? I thought he flicked the hair.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Nah, I do not care. You shouldn't be over there talking to them for god's sake. You're the football, stay over here. You don't need to, it, two games.

• 4:26Mark Normand?

  Two games, and now they're hurting. They're losing.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Well, they're done.

• 4:30Mark Normand?

  Was he looking at a huge contract right before this?

• 4:32Sam Morril?

  Metcalf?

• 4:33Speaker 01

  I know.

• 4:33Mark Normand?

  He was their star player.

• 4:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah, how long is he suspended?

• 4:36Mark Normand?

  It's a hair flick, hold on.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  That's a punch.

• 4:39Sam Morril?

  That's not good.

• 4:39Mark Normand?

  He tried, yeah.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  That's a punch.

• 4:41Mark Normand?

  Apparently, then he said he said the N-word, which was a lie.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, that guy didn't say it.

• 4:45Sam Morril?

  Apparently, the guy called his wife G.I. Jane right before.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  But he's getting old anyway. See, I don't know how old he is, but I...

• 4:53Sam Morril?

  But he's still a stud.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  Thirty or something.

• 4:55Sam Morril?

  But they're out of the playoffs anyway now.

• 4:56Mark Normand?

  Damn!

• 4:57Speaker 01

  Right, it's all...

• 4:58Sam Morril?

  Are you a Titans fan?

• 5:00Speaker 01

  No. I go to the Titans game a lot because all my friends are down there. There's a Moonshine tent, there's a Jack Daniels tent, and that's right before you get in, in, in. So you're already having fun. Like, but we go to see the other teams that come to town. So like, I'm a Chiefs person because I'm from Missouri, like by proxy. I'm not, I'm a bandwagon. I'm really lame. And if they go to Kansas, I'm out. My fan ship is up for sale again, the third time in my life. I was a Cardinal fan, I was a Rams fan, and boom, now the Chiefs are gonna go to Kansas? I don't know that I can cross that state line.

• 5:32Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  I was raised to hate Kansas.

• 5:35Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Yes, but I don't even know why. It's got something to do with the Civil War, and I don't know. And then it turned into basketball, and I don't even watch college basketball really. So I'm like, yeah, I don't know. But I know they're better than us as a rule.

• 5:48Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  So we're kind of jealous, I guess.

• 5:50Sam Morril?

  Well, the lines are so murky because if you say you're from Pittsburgh, you don't have an NBA team, but you can't root for the Sixers, that's Philly.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  You can't.

• 5:57Sam Morril?

  So what do you do? I guess you go to New York?

• 5:59Speaker 01

  Kansas City, too, it divides in the middle of the city.

• 6:02Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 6:02Sam Morril?

  Right.

• 6:02Speaker 01

  So you think you're in Missouri, but ah, you just went to Kansas where you got your mail! You just went, yeah, it's...

• 6:09Mark Normand?

  It's like the vagina in the butthole. Sometimes you slip in.

• 6:15Mark Normand?

  Right?

• 6:15Speaker 01

  And they're leaving us with a hundred and fifty million dollar cleanup of Arrowhead. They're not paying for that.

• 6:20Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  We gotta demolish it and clean it up and take your trash out.

• 6:24Mark Normand?

  Well, that's fucked up.

• 6:24Sam Morril?

  Isn't that crazy when that happened, like Buffalo just built that new stadium? And it's like, you guys have like a really bad homeless problem. They're like, nah, we'll work on the stadium, you know?

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:31Sam Morril?

  All the money, just put it in the stadium.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  And the Titans are getting a new one. Somebody had a great meme they put up, can we leave the Titans in the old stadium and get a new, new team? For the new stadium, I'm like, that would be so great if we had two teams. We'll make the other one NFC.

• 6:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  And put them in a better, better division.

• 6:49Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 6:49Speaker 01

  I mean, I'd go, but they're so bad. And I, I, everybody thinks, I think it's the owner. I didn't know who the problem was, cause when it's such a shit show, you don't know, is it the coach? Is it the players? Is ba, ba? It's really narrowed down to, it's her.

• 7:02Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  And I think that community is as small as stand-up. There's just not that many people involved in professional football. Once the word is out, Amy's cuckoo.

• 7:12Sam Morril?

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  Fucking, nobody good is going. You're gonna get a young person who needs an opportunity, or an old person on their way out, but somebody super talented's not gonna bother with a crazy lady. They're just gonna go, no, I'll, I'll go.

• 7:24Sam Morril?

  Well, there's only so many vacancies though, that maybe they will, but yeah, you're right. Maybe at a certain point, there's a breaking point.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  It's like, do you wanna deal with Jerry Jones? Do you?

• 7:31Sam Morril?

  Hmm, yeah.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  Grandpa's crazy. And grandpa is in your face 24/7. He's arriving in a helicopter at practice.

• 7:39Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 7:39Speaker 01

  I can't, I can't. If you're the coach, I can't do that.

• 7:42Mark Normand?

  He's got great hair.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Well, and he's like...

• 7:45Mark Normand?

  Doesn't he? Am I thinking of the right guy?

• 7:46Sam Morril?

  Jerry Jones?

• 7:47Speaker 01

  Jerry, no, his hair's terrible.

• 7:48Mark Normand?

  I'm thinking of Jimmy Dean.

• 7:50Sam Morril?

  I think you're thinking of the Raiders guy.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  You're thinking of Jimmy, uh, the other Dallas guy, the...

• 7:55Mark Normand?

  Old guy.

• 7:56Sam Morril?

  Oh, uh, Jones.

• 7:57Mark Normand?

  Jimmy Jones. Yeah, sorry.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, he has good hair. He has a lot of hair.

• 8:01Mark Normand?

  Okay, my bad.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  So, no, nobody cares about the title.

• 8:05Mark Normand?

  That guy. Look at that, man.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  Jimmy Johnson.

• 8:08Mark Normand?

  Jimmy Johnson.

• 8:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah, the old coach, my bad.

• 8:09Mark Normand?

  Full head of white hair.

• 8:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he looks, got a nice head.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  You see Jerry's hair? Meh.

• 8:15Sam Morril?

  How about those teeth? Jesus Christ.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Look at those veneers.

• 8:18Mark Normand?

  How about the blackface on that statue?

• 8:20Sam Morril?

  It's not the first time he's been around blackface.

• 8:22Mark Normand?

  That's true. Sorry.

• 8:24Sam Morril?

  See that civil rights photo of him?

• 8:25Mark Normand?

  No.

• 8:26Sam Morril?

  It's a bad photo.

• 8:27Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 8:28Sam Morril?

  It's a bad, well, it got a lot of heat.

• 8:31Sam Morril?

  I mean, the Cowboys suck, man. It's crazy. That's like the, they were America's team.

• 8:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, I do remember this.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, that one.

• 8:38Sam Morril?

  Just not a good one to be in.

• 8:40Mark Normand?

  Holy moly.

• 8:41Speaker 01

  There's a picture today on Twitter of, uh, there's two old, old, and it's, it's real. There's two old ladies. They're like eighty-five. And they were the cheerleaders the last time the Cowboys won the Super Bowl. And then they have the cheerleaders now.

• 8:55Mark Normand?

  That's amazing.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Great, great granddaughter. They're like, here's the last time they won. That's how, I'm like, yeah.

• 9:00Sam Morril?

  Was that a Holocaust survivor? No, that was a cheerleader in the nineties.

• 9:05Sam Morril?

  Jesus.

• 9:06Speaker 01

  But if you're stuck with them, you're stuck with them. And the bad news is, I keep telling Ron, because he's a Cowboys fan, I'm like, dude,

• 9:14Speaker 01

  there's, his kid looks like him. The grandkids look, it never stops.

• 9:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  There's more Jerry Joneses behind Jerry Jones, and they all look, they're square-headed, white guys that all look the same.

• 9:23Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 9:24Speaker 01

  It won't stop in your lifetime. Definitely not Ron's lifetime. There they are.

• 9:28Mark Normand?

  Ron White.

• 9:31Sam Morril?

  That is hilarious.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  It's so funny. And it's true. They were really the original Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.

• 9:36Mark Normand?

  That's adorable. Good for them.

• 9:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. Looking good.

• 9:41Mark Normand?

  Wow, wait. So how many kids does he have?

• 9:43Speaker 01

  Shit, I, there's two boy, the girls in charge of that show, that lady, I know he has two sons, maybe three?

• 9:50Mark Normand?

  Okay, okay.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Googled that. The one's always at his side. He's always in the booth, or two of them are.

• 9:57Sam Morril?

  That first week of, of football was insane. I mean, all those games were fucking crazy.

• 10:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:02Sam Morril?

  They were all pretty close.

• 10:04Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Charlotte's in charge of the cheerleaders, as all you would expect Jerry to do that.

• 10:08Sam Morril?

  This is like Yellowstone.

• 10:10Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  And they are enamored with him. Like, they don't ever say, when I watched that cheerleading show, because I was just mesmerized that people do this. And she, all in.

• 10:22Mark Normand?

  Low money.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  So there's a son, there's a son.

• 10:28Speaker 01

  I don't know that guy on the end.

• 10:30Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 10:32Mark Normand?

  Alright. Uh, it looks like a night at the Sizzler.

• 10:35Sam Morril?

  How about this, have you heard of this Netflix show, Heated Rivalry, the gay hockey show?

• 10:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I watched them, it's horrible.

• 10:41Sam Morril?

  It's all, I know, I was watching like, I was like, I don't think I'm homophobic. And then like 10 minutes in, I was like, I think I'm homophobic. This is pretty rough.

• 10:48Mark Normand?

  Well, the writing is so bad that it's making me hate gays.

• 10:53Sam Morril?

  And the lighting is bad.

• 10:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 10:55Sam Morril?

  Clearly you didn't get a gay set that, a designer here. This is like, tough to watch.

• 11:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  My friend Bob, who is gay, was like, can I watch this with my mom and my nieces? I'm like, not unless the whole family's into gay porn.

• 11:08Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  Because if they are, bingo.

• 11:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  There's not even a story, though. I tried to watch it. I'm like, okay, everybody's talking about it. They were the, like on Fallon, one of them went on Fallon in the line to get in that specific show was like Around the Black.

• 11:23Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 11:24Speaker 01

  They're mega stars, and I'm like, okay, well, I don't care if there's some porn in here, but there's no story.

• 11:31Sam Morril?

  No story.

• 11:31Mark Normand?

  No, they'll do head for like a minute and a half.

• 11:33Sam Morril?

  And it's more likely that this would happen in the WNBA than hockey.

• 11:37Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 11:38Sam Morril?

  But there's no WNBA version of this.

• 11:40Mark Normand?

  That's a spinoff.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  Well, we don't know.

• 11:42Mark Normand?

  Hated scissor.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  That's the problem, they gotta hide it.

• 11:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:45Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:46Sam Morril?

  That's true. But I, first and second overall pick, I don't think they're fucking.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  You can get somebody way down the totem pole.

• 11:52Sam Morril?

  I just think it's, yeah, I think you're getting, it's like a first overall pick maybe and like a 59th pick.

• 11:57Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 11:58Sam Morril?

  It's not the top two.

• 12:00Speaker 01

  That would be too coincidental, yeah.

• 12:02Sam Morril?

  The odds are insane.

• 12:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:04Mark Normand?

  But yeah, they should do a WNBA kinda softcore.

• 12:07Sam Morril?

  They should.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  I don't.

• 12:08Mark Normand?

  I think it's hot when the black lesbians push Clark around. That's kinda sexy, huh? That's my fantasy.

• 12:14Sam Morril?

  Angel Reese and Caitlin Clark, that's the story. If they're secretly hooking up, everyone's like, they hate each other, and they're like, no, they're scissoring, dude.

• 12:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:23Mark Normand?

  Lesbian marriage does not go well.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  I didn't make it past the episode of Heated Rivalry.

• 12:27Sam Morril?

  It was rough.

• 12:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  I mean, whatever, the gay, I don't care about all that, but I'm also bored, like what?

• 12:33Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 12:34Speaker 01

  What, or just if you're into that, just go rent gay porn.

• 12:38Mark Normand?

  Why do you need a fake hockey story that doesn't exist?

• 12:41Sam Morril?

  I think I prefer gay porn, it gets right to it.

• 12:43Mark Normand?

  That's a good point.

• 12:43Sam Morril?

  You're teasing me with sports.

• 12:45Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 12:46Sam Morril?

  I didn't like the bait and switch of the sports.

• 12:49Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  I really did think there would be somewhat of a story, no.

• 12:52Mark Normand?

  No, but then there's Euphoria.

• 12:54Speaker 01

  And I can't understand either one of them, and they're naked most of the time, so their mics aren't good. I can't hear what they're actually, one's supposed to be Russian, I think, and then the other one is like, uh, Canadian, something?

• 13:06Mark Normand?

  I didn't, I had the sound off.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 13:09Mark Normand?

  That's one of the visuals. But yeah, Euphoria is a great, uh, life hack to watch high school kids fuck.

• 13:15Sam Morril?

  Is that, I heard it's a good show, I haven't seen it.

• 13:17Mark Normand?

  It's pretty good, it's pretty good, but all the kids are hot, and, uh, they're, you know, in high school.

• 13:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 13:22Mark Normand?

  So you get to watch them hook up and not feel bad.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  Is this like a Netflix thing or something?

• 13:27Mark Normand?

  It's an HBO show, it's huge.

• 13:28Sam Morril?

  Sidney Sweeney, dude, I saw this video of these two guys arguing on Instagram, and one of them's like, "Hot take, Sidney Sweeney's not hot." And the other one's like, "What?", and I was like, "Yeah, no wonder we can't agree on immigration."

• 13:39Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 13:40Sam Morril?

  You don't, one of you's like, "She's ugly, sorry."

• 13:42Mark Normand?

  I know, come on.

• 13:43Sam Morril?

  She's objectively attractive, come on.

• 13:45Mark Normand?

  And then to go ugly, it's like, "Well, let's see your wife." You know what I mean? I love when they just go right to ugly.

• 13:50Sam Morril?

  That's your debate tactic?

• 13:51Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 13:52Sam Morril?

  You just call the wife, his wife ugly?

• 13:54Mark Normand?

  If you call her ugly, we gotta see what your wife, mom, and sister look like.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I can't say that lady's ugly, that's ridiculous.

• 14:00Mark Normand?

  They always go extremes, it's like when they call Sam a Nazi.

• 14:04Sam Morril?

  Who calls me?

• 14:06Speaker 01

  Tonic comments.

• 14:07Mark Normand?

  That's all. Tonic comments.

• 14:08Sam Morril?

  Now that's gonna take off.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, who's in charge of cleaning up the comments?

• 14:12Mark Normand?

  Jewish Nazi, that's a sitcom.

• 14:15Sam Morril?

  Or the Jew and the Nazi is the odd couple.

• 14:17Mark Normand?

  Ooh.

• 14:18Sam Morril?

  That's gonna be the like.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  Aw, there's your porn. There's your super porn, super porn.

• 14:23Mark Normand?

  You left the oven on.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Hot Jewish guy, hot Jewish guy, hot Nazi.

• 14:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Nazi.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  One's got dark hair, one's got blonde.

• 14:30Mark Normand?

  Ayy.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, see?

• 14:32Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 14:32Mark Normand?

  This is good.

• 14:33Sam Morril?

  Me and maybe like Frances Ellis?

• 14:34Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, exactly.

• 14:36Sam Morril?

  Railing me from behind?

• 14:39Mark Normand?

  He's hiling while fucking you. Oh, what the hell is this?

• 14:44Speaker 01

  What is that?

• 14:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, Nazi porn.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, but is it Nazi Jewish porn?

• 14:51Mark Normand?

  By the way, my son has a little bit of like hair down here and I always do Hitler comb. And then I give him a little, little ink right here and we have a good time.

• 14:59Sam Morril?

  You put a little of the poop from the diaper right here?

• 15:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly. And then I take his little hand, you know, the neighbors are terrified.

• 15:06Sam Morril?

  His first steps were very big.

• 15:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the goose.

• 15:11Mark Normand?

  He's got an Easy-Bake Oven. What too many. You don't want to adopt, huh?

• 15:18Speaker 01

  Um, no, I do not.

• 15:20Sam Morril?

  Did you, you never wanted kids?

• 15:22Speaker 01

  No. Well, because I helped raise my younger siblings. Like I, I get it. And I'm like, okay, this is fun. Like I like them. They're nice people, little people. The best case scenario, I, I've thought about it a lot, is they don't go to prison.

• 15:37Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  Like they don't kill someone, or they don't do something completely fucked up. That's the, really the best case scenario.

• 15:45Sam Morril?

  It's likely.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  Otherwise, they're just other people I know.

• 15:48Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Like you're, you're, you're a fun person. Good. My brother Patrick's fun.

• 15:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  Good. You turned out fun.

• 15:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  You didn't do anything bad. But like, would I want to do that again? Like.

• 15:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, good point.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  And then I don't know if you're thinking like, I want to go travel the world. I don't see how, how am I in some house with a fence and I take you to school? Like I see my sister has done it. The kids are in high school, they're freshmen. Eight years, every day to the same pickup spot.

• 16:16Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  I, I can't, I can't.

• 16:18Mark Normand?

  That's parenting.

• 16:19Sam Morril?

  It's almost like, it's almost like bad for the comic brain where you're like, this repetition.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  The repetition. I stayed for two weeks because she had twins. She's like, will you come back? And I go, yeah, sure. I, I did. And about a week in, I don't know, I had a look on my face. She's like, you're leaving, aren't you? I said, no, I promised I'd stay the two weeks. I go, I just, I really like them. The little twin girls and they're fun in the high chair.

• 16:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  But it's the same thing every day. We wake up, there's playtime and then feed them and then a nap. And re- repeat, until they get older. But that whole first.

• 16:49Sam Morril?

  First couple of years I hear is rough.

• 16:51Mark Normand?

  That's tough. Well, you've convinced me. I'm getting rid of them.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:55Mark Normand?

  I got an eight, 11th month.

• 16:56Speaker 01

  A baby.

• 16:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 16:57Sam Morril?

  Blood leaves him in the dumpster. He was a Nazi. I had to. I had to get rid of him.

• 17:01Mark Normand?

  Every day with a Nazi.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  I just, uh, no, not for this lifetime, maybe the next one. I'm not anti-kid.

• 17:08Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 17:08Speaker 01

  I'm the anti, I don't like the lifestyle. If I would do it the way I wanted to do it, I want to be home, I want to take him to practice. I want, as much as I don't, I do.

• 17:17Sam Morril?

  But a lot of people who do what you do actually still have a kid and they're just not good parents.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  Well, they, it's not the way I would parent, so whatever people want to do, that kid's gonna turn out as a result of your work.

• 17:28Sam Morril?

  Right, right.

• 17:28Speaker 01

  So, I, like, I would want to be home, I'd want to have the dog, I'd want to have the setup. And go, okay, here's your dad, here's a dog, here's a cat. I go to the meetings and whatever for the kid and, yeah, the PTA things and...

• 17:41Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  It's a lifestyle, I mean, it's, it's...

• 17:44Mark Normand?

  It is.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  And when you step into it, you're like, oh, wow, shit, this goes on till they can drive.

• 17:50Mark Normand?

  Yes. At least you get school, that takes a little edge off, because you get the hours of the day. Mine's at a Somali daycare right now, but, uh, yeah. It does, yeah, it gets easier.

• 18:01Speaker 01

  It's the lifestyle, that I was always just like, I don't know, and then you gotta find the right person and hope they're not an asshole and then buy a house and, you know. Well, at least in the Midwest, like, I don't know, apartment in New York, but, you know.

• 18:14Sam Morril?

  No, but you're right, a lot of things have to go right.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 18:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  Yes, and they have to go right quickly. Like, you can't be doing this when you're 45, well, you can, I mean, but it's a little late in the game.

• 18:25Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  You'll be 65, the kid, you know, the kids are 20.

• 18:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 18:29Sam Morril?

  That's the pace I'm on, I think.

• 18:30Speaker 01

  But it's weird too, because I'm from the generation where our parents had us when they were like 22.

• 18:34Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Like, I look at my parents, I'm like, it's weird, you're only 20 years older than me.

• 18:38Mark Normand?

  That's wild.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  It's weird.

• 18:39Sam Morril?

  That is weird.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  It is weird, like, when you're 50 and 70, that's not that kind of different.

• 18:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah. That's a good point.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  But I mean, people wait, but I don't know, I think all these things would have to line up, and what are the odds of that happening?

• 18:53Mark Normand?

  Hmm, whoa. Well, you're from a, you're one of the last cool comedians, I feel like comedians are all getting queefy and sober and, uh, they don't have any fun. You're still living, damn it.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  That's why I brought this, I'm like, and then if you don't drink, now I already know what to say, because so many people don't, I'm like, well, give it away.

• 19:10Mark Normand?

  Give it away.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  I'm just here with it. You can do whatever you want with it or not, what you want with it, but.

• 19:14Mark Normand?

  But you're fun.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  I mean, I still drink. I'll smoke my little cigar every now and then.

• 19:18Sam Morril?

  You're a cigar smoker.

• 19:19Speaker 01

  Well, Ron brought those and left them.

• 19:22Mark Normand?

  Ron White.

• 19:23Speaker 01

  I do like them, but because I quit smoking cigs a long time ago. That's like a nice little treat.

• 19:27Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  It's like a little reward.

• 19:29Sam Morril?

  All these studies now, people are, actually, I'm glad that that guy Scott Galloway had a thing recently, like you should drink. Yeah, you should drink. All these people are saying, young people are stopping drinking. It's like, go out and socialize. It gets you off your phone.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  Well, that's weird. They all, they don't want to go out. They don't want to talk to people.

• 19:43Sam Morril?

  I think it's also that young kids are really broke right now, though. I think that plays into it.

• 19:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I was broke when I was a kid.

• 19:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I guess you find a way.

• 19:50Mark Normand?

  You find a way. Yeah, crackheads are broke. They make it work.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  There's a shitty biker bar by.

• 19:54Sam Morril?

  They don't have a roof over their head. They're not thinking.

• 19:56Speaker 01

  Shitty biker bar by my house in Nashville. Beers are three bucks. You can't, come on. And guess who's in there? Me and a bunch of old guys.

• 20:04Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  That's who's it. Where are the kids? Where are the youngsters? Like, I don't know.

• 20:08Mark Normand?

  You gotta get laid. You gotta have fun.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  But I think they all want to vape.

• 20:11Mark Normand?

  Ugh.

• 20:12Sam Morril?

  I see. It's such a turnoff. I was out with a girl and we're having a good time. She took the vape out and I was like, ugh.

• 20:17Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  See, I don't even care. I don't understand why they're so weird about it. Like, they're always hiding, like.

• 20:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  But I, like, I don't, I don't know why, like, my sister-in-law is always, she's like my age, she's always in a cloud of strawberry vape.

• 20:33Sam Morril?

  Well, that's the problem is like when you're drunk, you're like, this is fucking cool. You're like, strawberry? Fuck, yeah.

• 20:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 20:37Sam Morril?

  But then you're sober, you're like, that's fucking nasty. It's weird.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  If you were a real smoker or a weed smoker, that shit.

• 20:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 20:43Speaker 01

  No, I don't want my cigarette to taste like fruit. It's a cigarette. It's supposed to taste like the earth.

• 20:49Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Like dirt.

• 20:51Sam Morril?

  No, it's like, it is like the Mike's Hard Lemonade to a beer.

• 20:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:55Sam Morril?

  I never liked the premium malt beverages. I always wanted a beer.

• 20:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  Just a beer.

• 20:59Sam Morril?

  Well, I don't want a fucking green apple whiskey.

• 21:01Speaker 01

  No, no, once you start putting fruit or vegetables or you altering the rawness of whatever it was, you lost me.

• 21:09Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  Me, but not the kids. Look at the vaping. And I think it's better, honestly, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a doctor, but I think you should smoke cigarettes over vaping.

• 21:18Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  Because vaping, the pictures of that popcorn lung, so you're basically inhaling a hot coil with shit in it from China you bought at a gas station. You don't know what the fuck is in that. Versus, I know that Marlboro had to go through a chain of inspection, I know there's still cyanide and stuff, I get it.

• 21:40Sam Morril?

  Tar, rat poison.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's still rat poison, but they told me, it's up to me now to decide.

• 21:45Sam Morril?

  Exactly, at least you're upfront about it.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  They're upfront, because they had to be, in the seventies, they held them to the, feet to the fire, but I just think the vaping, that instant heat in your lungs, if you've ever, see if there's a picture of popcorn lung. Because it never goes away.

• 21:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that right?

• 22:00Speaker 01

  It never heals.

• 22:01Sam Morril?

  I had a joke in my last special, but if you see a detective with a vape, he's not finding your kid.

• 22:05Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's great.

• 22:07Sam Morril?

  You know what I mean, like, the cigarette does give you some ease, you know?

• 22:10Mark Normand?

  It does, yeah, yeah.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:14Sam Morril?

  Why do they call it popcorn lung?

• 22:15Speaker 01

  Because it looks like popcorn.

• 22:17Mark Normand?

  There's little bulbs on there.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  See, like, well, that one's not real, but...

• 22:21Mark Normand?

  It was a real lung.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  It looks like white polyps.

• 22:23Mark Normand?

  There it is. Oh my god, looks like my dick after spring break.

• 22:27Sam Morril?

  That makes me want to go back to the cinema.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Irreversible, irreversible.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  In the sixties and seventies, the cigarette companies put asbestos in the filter tips, so the smoke wasn't as harmful to your lungs.

• 22:38Mark Normand?

  Woo, good times.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 22:41Mark Normand?

  Also, I've never seen a guy...

• 22:43Speaker 01

  So we were inhaling asbestos.

• 22:44Mark Normand?

  I've never seen a guy with a vape with this picture of his daughter on it, just saying. Remember that was a big thing, you put a picture of your kid on the cigarette pack and you go, ah, maybe I shouldn't smoke.

• 22:52Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 22:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 22:53Speaker 01

  I've never heard of that.

• 22:53Mark Normand?

  What?

• 22:54Speaker 01

  How did I miss that?

• 22:56Speaker 03

  It was a picture of you on a pack of cigarettes?

• 22:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and he smoked more.

• 22:59Sam Morril?

  I put a picture of a limp dick on my phone so I don't call my ex.

• 23:04Mark Normand?

  That gets me to stop drinking.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  I bought a whole convent in St. Louis, there's only five nuns left. I smoked enough Marlboros that I got him a kayak. And I got them those red jackets. They're like farmer jackets with the brown collar. They're like, you know, like a Martha Stewart farm jacket.

• 23:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 23:20Speaker 01

  It did say Marlboro in tiny letters, but the nuns don't care. They all smoked anyway.

• 23:24Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 23:25Speaker 01

  And I'm like, hey, I'm gonna collect every Marlboro mile in America. So I'd go to like Columbus Funny Bone or whatever. And then I'd tell all the servers, save your Marlboro miles. I'm saving them. Cause people would leave them, packages, nobody cared. Yeah, that's how many I got.

• 23:39Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  The kayak was 50,000 miles.

• 23:41Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  And I did it. And they took a float trip in Missouri.

• 23:44Sam Morril?

  That is hilarious.

• 23:45Mark Normand?

  Amazing. Three nuns drowned. Thank you.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  And Louis smoked Camel. They had the Camel bucks.

• 23:51Mark Normand?

  Louis Black.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  So I would save all his Camel, cause he didn't care.

• 23:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  I'm like, dude.

• 23:55Sam Morril?

  Did Louis smoke cigs too?

• 23:56Speaker 01

  Oh, all of them.

• 23:58Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 23:58Speaker 01

  Louis smoked all the Camel Lights. There's no more left.

• 24:01Sam Morril?

  I love that. Yeah, when I'm drunk, I do crave a cigarette. There's something about it.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  There's something, well, it's terrible to say, I shouldn't, but like, I just like fire. I like ashtrays, like old ones, like stand up ones that are super cool. You can find it like any thrift store.

• 24:15Mark Normand?

  You should move to Malibu.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  The smoky atmosphere.

• 24:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  But you have to just be the right kind of person to say, I'm in.

• 24:24Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  Like, I love it.

• 24:25Sam Morril?

  There's something hot too, like, you know, you like walk outside the bar in the winter in New York, you meet a girl, you're both smoking a cig. There's something kinda hot about that interaction. I don't know.

• 24:33Mark Normand?

  Sure, yeah. Well, you're both ruining your lives together. You both have, you know.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  We both don't give a shit. That's the message. It's a fuck it. It's a big fuck it.

• 24:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I like that.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  But I don't even think we thought that back then. Like, I don't know.

• 24:46Sam Morril?

  You just did it.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause my parents, everybody in the house smoked.

• 24:49Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  That's why when people are like, I know there's something to secondhand smoke, but really then, all me and my siblings should be dead. Like, my parents smoked in the car, windows rolled up, in the house.

• 25:02Mark Normand?

  I don't believe it.

• 25:02Sam Morril?

  We came up at the, there was a couple of clubs we got at the end.

• 25:05Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 25:05Sam Morril?

  Like the St. Louis Funny Bone, where you could still smoke in that cloud of smoke. I remember. But there weren't that many clubs left by the time, when we were doing it, that, but that, I remember seeing the cloud of smoke, like, oh, this is crazy.

• 25:17Mark Normand?

  Crazy, the smoke eater.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  They would allow it a lot more than the north. Like, you could still go down to Charlie Goodnight's or something and. Cigs everywhere, nobody cared.

• 25:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  But I smoked, so I didn't care. I didn't even think it was an issue. Like, I mean, I knew that like my clothes smelled really bad. After a week in the club, you're like, oh shit, like, yeah, I gotta go home.

• 25:36Mark Normand?

  But you never heard an autopsy, like, he died of secondhand smoke. That's never happened.

• 25:40Sam Morril?

  I mean, people get lung cancer who don't smoke. It is, you know, it is possible.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that doesn't mean they were around secondhand smoke. You could just be a person.

• 25:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I don't know the data on it. I don't know.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  I don't either. We're talking about things we don't know about, but it sounds right.

• 25:53Mark Normand?

  It sounds good. Give me a cigarette.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  Sounds right.

• 25:58Sam Morril?

  A tell lighting up in front of the Rizler was an all time moment on this.

• 26:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, that was great.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  Sean Penn at the Golden Globes.

• 26:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 26:04Sam Morril?

  I saw that.

• 26:06Mark Normand?

  Geez, he looks rough.

• 26:07Sam Morril?

  He looks like an ashtray.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  There are so many things you could do besides have that cig at that moment.

• 26:12Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 26:13Speaker 01

  I could take off your shirt. I'll throw seventeen nicotine patches on your back. You'll fly like an eagle. How about some gum? Like, I got everything that's got the nicotine in it.

• 26:21Sam Morril?

  He doesn't care. He's been famous for too long.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  Smoking.

• 26:23Sam Morril?

  But he's also been famous for too long. The thing where like Chappelle will just light up in a club and he's like, he knows he shouldn't, but he's also like, I don't care.

• 26:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 26:30Speaker 01

  There was, there's a comic, Rick Kearns from Denver, and I, we checked into some hotel back in the day on the road and the lady's like, it's a $250 fine. And we're there for the week, like Wednesday through Sunday. $250 fine if you smoke in the room. And Rick goes, nightly?

• 26:47Speaker 01

  He's right. I might pay $250 to smoke in my room all week. Like, if you could.

• 26:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  And the lady was like, didn't even get what he meant. Like, I'm like, he's kidding, but he's kind of not.

• 26:57Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 26:57Speaker 01

  He wants to know if he gives you $250, can he just smoke all week? But I don't know. We didn't think about it. We just, our parents smoked. We all smoked.

• 27:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 27:06Speaker 01

  I don't think it got out that it was bad news till I was probably, well, I was probably 16.

• 27:11Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 27:11Sam Morril?

  My parents don't smoke or drink. I'm the problem, I think.

• 27:13Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 27:14Sam Morril?

  They'll have like a drink. You, your parents don't smoke.

• 27:17Mark Normand?

  No, my dad did when he was young and then, but they all drink quite a bit. But I'm from New Orleans. I remember where you could smoke in bars. And the hangover was so much worse with that stink on my clothes.

• 27:28Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 27:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a headache.

• 27:29Sam Morril?

  Oh, my God, I was just in Berlin and we were, we're in a smoking bar. And we're all zapping cigarettes. We're all getting fucked up. Goddamn, that hangover is another level.

• 27:38Mark Normand?

  Another level.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  Drinking enough water. You gotta super hydrate if you're in the smoking area.

• 27:43Sam Morril?

  I know, but you, you know that, but in the moment, you're like, I'm fucked up.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  And water sounds gross.

• 27:49Mark Normand?

  It's like we're in a condo.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  Well, water sounds gross. Drunk. Water just sounds like, that's just one more thing I'll throw up later. Need all that.

• 27:58Sam Morril?

  You put it off. Why do you, why do we put it?

• 28:00Mark Normand?

  Cause it takes the fun out of it. We're trying to get fucked up. You're gonna hand me a safety net of water.

• 28:04Sam Morril?

  We're drinking whiskey and smoking a cigarette. Being responsible isn't, it's not in us at that moment.

• 28:08Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  Wasn't in us to begin with.

• 28:11Mark Normand?

  Eat this apple while you're eating a birthday cake.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  Were you around for the tail end of the comedy cocaine years?

• 28:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I didn't do it, like. No, seriously. I'm too, I get, I would get addicted too fast. Like, I worked at a restaurant and bar from the time I was thirteen to twenty-three. Stuart Anderson's cattle company. I was a bus girl. I was a server, a barback and a bartender. That whole period. I watched people that were ten years older than me. Get addicted to coke. I called it the devil's drug, cause it was just affordable enough that, say we made seventy-five bucks each bartending. They'd spend forty-five on blow. And then that would be gone. So you really only made thirty. It was affordable enough to get it, but affordable enough to break you over time.

• 28:57Speaker 01

  So then they'd be like, well, and then, then you want more blow. So that forty-five dollars, that initial buy-in of forty-five bucks is now sixty-five bucks. And then it just keeps going. I just saw so many lives like smoked by that. I'm like, no, no, because I know I would probably like it.

• 29:13Mark Normand?

  Of course. Well, that jacket says cocaine.

• 29:16Speaker 01

  It says Tony Montana, bring on cocaine.

• 29:21Speaker 01

  But they were still doing it. Like, I remember the Funny Firm in Chicago.

• 29:24Mark Normand?

  Funny Firm.

• 29:27Sam Morril?

  John Grisham's Club.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  Oh my god. Fucking owner, and it was just blow all over the desk.

• 29:35Speaker 01

  Bags of blow. Cause my friend Diane, she goes, how much did he tell you you're making? I said, I don't really remember. I think six, six hundred and fifty bucks. She goes, go up there right now before the week starts and say, hey, we agreed on nine fifty, right? And he's so high, he'll just say yes. And I did, and it worked.

• 29:52Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  Wow, I just got a three hundred dollar raise.

• 29:54Sam Morril?

  You never hear about the good side of the drugs.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  Right, there's a wonderful side of drugs. If you're not on them at the time, you need a raise.

• 30:00Mark Normand?

  You can take advantage.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  I was like, wow. Yeah, there was still a lot of that, but it kind of faded quickly. I'd say by like ninety two, gone, ninety three, people just, I think they just did all the cocaine and then they ran out of money.

• 30:14Sam Morril?

  And they were burnt out probably too.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 30:17Sam Morril?

  No, you think they had to cut down?

• 30:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, like somebody I worked with, her nose actually fell in.

• 30:21Sam Morril?

  Ooh.

• 30:21Speaker 01

  And I was at the Funny Bone years later and somebody said, hey, they came from the restaurant. They're like, did you say hi to Pam? I go out and see Pam. She's, no, she's at the bar. I go, ah, no, she ain't. Yeah, she is, she's at the end. I'm like, oh, fuck. And if you get to the point where you've done so much blow that your nose collapses, trust me, you didn't save eight grand for a nose job. You don't have a reserve to fix that. You have to live with that now.

• 30:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  Or work your way back, like.

• 30:47Mark Normand?

  We were all thinking it.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  Weed, all that other stuff, I've never seen as much destruction as I do.

• 30:53Sam Morril?

  It's why Jews don't do cocaine, the nose would collapse too hard to the face.

• 30:57Mark Normand?

  That's a big avalanche.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  Be a way more expensive nose job.

• 30:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, right. That's a lot of coke to break that.

• 31:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a lot of blow.

• 31:03Sam Morril?

  Already looked better the last time we saw him. He looked like he, like he fixed it, yeah.

• 31:07Speaker 01

  Did he fix it?

• 31:08Sam Morril?

  I think so.

• 31:09Mark Normand?

  Somewhat, yeah, as much as you can.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  It's not easy to fix either. Cause it's just all cartilage like a shark. It just, there's no bone here. It just, so we gotta redo.

• 31:18Mark Normand?

  You know his story, right?

• 31:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:20Mark Normand?

  With the hooker?

• 31:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:21Mark Normand?

  And the sha- the glass shattering?

• 31:23Speaker 03

  Can you tell us?

• 31:24Mark Normand?

  Well, basically he was cra- crunching up some coke or some pills with a, a salt shaker, a glass salt shaker. The salt shaker cracked, he didn't realize it. So now he's pounding glass into the pills and the powder and then he sorted it. And then he said the hooker took a shower, or he took a shower and he said, keep clapping while I'm in the shower. So I know you don't steal anything.

• 31:44Mark Normand?

  So she had a clap.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  Good relationship.

• 31:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  It's built on trust.

• 31:51Sam Morril?

  It's hilarious that you'll fuck someone that you trust that little.

• 31:54Mark Normand?

  Well, it's a hooker.

• 31:55Sam Morril?

  I know, but.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  It's also applause. He's getting.

• 31:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah, applause break.

• 31:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, but still, that hooker wasn't gonna do that. Why are you judging her so harshly? Just because she has a shitty gig, doesn't mean she's a shitty human.

• 32:07Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  Doesn't mean she's gonna steal.

• 32:09Mark Normand?

  Hey, you never know.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, but would you do that to a non-hooker? Like, let's say you went out with a woman and you're on your third date and you say clap while I'm in the shower because I think you're stealing. No.

• 32:20Mark Normand?

  I should have once.

• 32:20Speaker 01

  That would be weird. That would be like, she'd be like, dude, fuck you. I'm not stealing your, your zany sweatshirt.

• 32:30Mark Normand?

  I love this one.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  I have my own.

• 32:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I don't know. I knew a friend, I'm not gonna say his name, he's a fellow comic, we all know him. He got a prostitute and they did their deed. The whole thing lasted eight minutes and then he went to the bathroom and he saw in the mirror that she was going through his duffel bag and he just went, could you not do that? And she was like, oh, sorry. So then she left. So it happens.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  That's all it took. Could you just not do that? It's very polite.

• 32:54Mark Normand?

  I guess so.

• 32:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I guess you just gotta keep everything in sight.

• 32:57Mark Normand?

  Exactly. Bring it all in the shower, the wallet, everything.

• 33:01Sam Morril?

  Jeez.

• 33:02Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 33:02Mark Normand?

  All right, well, hey, did you ever get shit? Because you've been doing comedy, what?

• 33:07Speaker 01

  Seventy-five years.

• 33:08Mark Normand?

  Seventy-five years? So you started with Bob Hope and Shelley Berman? No.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  You know, I actually did it at Bob Hope's show.

• 33:13Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 33:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was called Ladies of Laughter. It was me, Wendy Leavitt, Margaret Cho, Carol Montgomery, I think.

• 33:20Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 33:21Sam Morril?

  It's a good lineup.

• 33:22Speaker 01

  It was a good show.

• 33:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  Um, but he was so old, he was like eighty-eight at the time.

• 33:26Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:27Speaker 01

  My mom and dad came out for some, I don't know why, because they didn't really attend. There's seven of us, they don't.

• 33:34Sam Morril?

  But he's Bob Hope, it's a big deal.

• 33:35Speaker 01

  Focus on us individually, ever. I don't know why, oh, I know why, because my little brother was in love with Brooke Shields and she was supposed to be on the show. And he canceled a soccer tournament and they, Brooke Shields canceled and they switched her out for Crystal Bernard, the lady from Wings.

• 33:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, no.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, my brother ruined his whole life over that. But, so my mom.

• 33:53Sam Morril?

  Are you in this photo?

• 33:54Speaker 03

  Is that you?

• 33:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm on the back left.

• 33:57Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  But that's, no, those are the hosts, though. That's not the comedians that were on there.

• 34:03Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 34:03Speaker 01

  They were all on the show. See, there's the lady from Wings.

• 34:06Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  That's Anita Wise. She, I think she passed away.

• 34:09Mark Normand?

  That's Rue McClanahan.

• 34:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's Bob. Pull up, see if you can find the comedians.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  These are like the, um, host people.

• 34:18Mark Normand?

  What a pull.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  No shit, I didn't even know that was online.

• 34:21Mark Normand?

  Is he, is he touching your buttocks there?

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 34:24Mark Normand?

  Oh no, I can see his hands.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  He, he was having eye explosions.

• 34:31Mark Normand?

  Eye explosions.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  While I was talking to him, my mom, my mom was the nurse forever and she's standing right there. I'm like, mom, I go, what's going on with his eyes? She goes, oh, it happens to old people all the time, blood vessels burst. And I go, is that hurting him? Does it hurt? No. She goes, he doesn't even know it's happening, except everything's gonna get very foggy for a few minutes, and then somebody will come out with drops. But, like, I didn't know that you could live long enough. That like your, the whites of your eyes, all of a sudden a vein would show up and it just goes, pew.

• 35:00Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 35:00Sam Morril?

  Time to pack it in. That's rough.

• 35:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  All the cue cards were like the size of a wall. They brought them in on trolleys. It would say like, hi. This is how smart he was, though. He negotiated for 50 years with NBC that they had to give him three specials a year.

• 35:16Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 35:16Speaker 01

  For 50 years they had, agreed to that. So that's why when he's 88, he's still doing the Bob Hope Christmas special in his 1994. That originated 50 years ago. They were so great.

• 35:28Sam Morril?

  They're like, we did not think you'd live this long.

• 35:30Speaker 01

  No, nobody did.

• 35:32Mark Normand?

  Norm MacDonald says he's the best comedian of all time.

• 35:34Sam Morril?

  Bob Hope?

• 35:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 35:35Speaker 01

  What?

• 35:36Mark Normand?

  That's what Norm says.

• 35:37Sam Morril?

  Norm's a contrarian, though, sometimes.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:39Sam Morril?

  Cause I think like, I, a lot of people towards the end said he got a little corny and stuff.

• 35:43Mark Normand?

  Definitely, definitely.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  It was all corny. I mean, at least to our, no. Even my, even my parents were like, well, you know, he's the gag guy, like he has writers. Like they even knew he's just a vessel of delivering whatever. He's not really what we would call a comedian.

• 36:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  He's an entertainer.

• 36:04Mark Normand?

  Yes, he's an MC.

• 36:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, a ho- yeah.

• 36:08Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  He was funny enough, though. I, I mean, he was, somebody gave him a $20 bill and said, can you sign this? And he did, and he goes, there you go, nine towards five, ha ha. Like old timey, corny.

• 36:19Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  Jokey jokey.

• 36:21Mark Normand?

  He was America's grandpa.

• 36:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, but like.

• 36:25Sam Morril?

  That's a cool lineup to be on, dude. Wendy Leibman, funny shit.

• 36:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, so funny.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. Our HBO one, like Women of the Night, I think it was called. I think it was like me, Wanda, Wendy.

• 36:36Sam Morril?

  Oh, wow.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  It's the same six of us.

• 36:38Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 36:38Speaker 01

  In that era, it was, we just kept getting a gig.

• 36:41Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 36:42Speaker 01

  And they would go, okay, well, they're like, that's why back then there was HBO Young Comedian Specials. HBO Women of the Night. Well, which one am I gonna audition for? There's only 50 women showing up to the audition, max, max.

• 36:54Mark Normand?

  You got a good shot.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  There's 350 good guys showing up over here. Well, I'm not going to that.

• 36:59Mark Normand?

  No.

• 36:59Speaker 01

  Over here.

• 37:00Mark Normand?

  Smart odds.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  And yeah, play the odds. I don't care if you wanna say, oh, you got it because you're a woman, whatever. I got it.

• 37:06Mark Normand?

  I got it, I'm on TV.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  I'm on, you're not.

• 37:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 37:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but your shit's always been strong, though.

• 37:11Mark Normand?

  Killer.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  Well, they picked good peo- I mean, Wanda's still fucking funny, Wendy's still funny, Margaret Cho's still funny.

• 37:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah, she is.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  And solid. Like, I would pay to see anybody I just mentioned.

• 37:22Mark Normand?

  Did you have a lot of the, it could always hear, like, it's hard for women? Did you find that?

• 37:26Speaker 01

  No.

• 37:26Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 37:28Speaker 01

  I did not. If anything, every dude that was a headliner, like when I was an ONG, was nothing but nice.

• 37:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  And helped.

• 37:35Sam Morril?

  To me, though, the, the one, the one, the one big disadvantage is for women headlining, especially early on, is like just the griminess of the road and, and the clubs and stuff. To me, that's what I've heard, at least from female friends.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  Well, there are women that quit because of that, because they don't like the road part, but I liked it. But I also have a lot of brothers and I'm used to living with slobs and pigs. Like, I don't care about all that.

• 37:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 37:57Speaker 01

  I think the only disadvantage was, and I can prove it statistically, is uh when it came to, do you get a sitcom or not?

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Female, the only, the only reason Brett Butler and Roseanne, it was because of Marcy Carcy Warner over at Warner Brothers and they gave, Marcy Carcy was a big advocate for women can handle their own sitcom, but if you go back before that, oh.

• 38:21Mark Normand?

  Mary Tyler Moore?

• 38:22Speaker 01

  I love Ray Romano, I think he's very funny, but that's who was getting them, Kevin James, Ray Romano, keep going back. Yeah, mostly white guys too.

• 38:30Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  And if you were black, they put you on back then.

• 38:33Mark Normand?

  You had Martin, you had a couple of Cosby.

• 38:35Speaker 01

  Crazy channel, I don't think, it doesn't.

• 38:37Sam Morril?

  UPN?

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Not UPN, it might have been.

• 38:40Sam Morril?

  WPIX?

• 38:41Mark Normand?

  4chan?

• 38:42Speaker 01

  It doesn't, I don't think it exists anymore, but they put all the black sitcoms on that network.

• 38:46Sam Morril?

  The WB?

• 38:47Speaker 01

  What'd you say?

• 38:48Mark Normand?

  I think it was UPN.

• 38:49Sam Morril?

  Oh, UPN?

• 38:51Speaker 01

  I don't know. Might have been the WB. Um, but I'm saying, so if Cedric the Entertainer, I'm friends with him, he's funny, funny, you know.

• 38:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, he got a show?

• 39:00Speaker 01

  A show, then they would, back then, they would go, you're over there.

• 39:04Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  And then white guy goes to, and the other drag, I don't want the gig, so it doesn't bother me that much, but female late night talk show host, forget it.

• 39:14Sam Morril?

  That never appealed to you though?

• 39:16Speaker 01

  I don't want it, but why couldn't Wanda do it? She wanted to.

• 39:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, sure.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  She's great.

• 39:20Sam Morril?

  What about, but did a sitcom appeal to you back then?

• 39:23Speaker 01

  No, it just never did, never will, I can't, I went one time to the Big Bang Theory with Louis, because he, he had a part at the end as a crazy professor or some horseshit.

• 39:33Sam Morril?

  He's a good actor.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  Louis is a very good actor, and he enjoys the process, like, I don't have the patience for it. We went there at four in the afternoon, we didn't leave till 11, me and his assistant drank a bottle of white wine, I memorized his lines. My, the, I memorized the whole script.

• 39:48Mark Normand?

  That's hilarious.

• 39:48Speaker 01

  What are you getting paid for this, Lou? Do you even know?

• 39:50Mark Normand?

  Scale.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, scale, it was like the whole day, it was like forty five hundred bucks, minus everybody got to pay, blah, blah, blah. I go, was this worth it to you? He goes, yeah, I love it.

• 39:59Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 40:00Speaker 01

  We've been here seven fucking hours. I know, but he doesn't care. Any kind of acting is fun to him.

• 40:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 40:06Speaker 01

  Like, I go, this, truly, because we've been best friends for a hundred years, you truly think this was a fun day compared to if we went golfing? And then had a bunch of wine.

• 40:15Mark Normand?

  And some steaks.

• 40:15Speaker 01

  You think this equals that? In a different way, yeah. He's very serious. He's very, he's not kidding.

• 40:21Mark Normand?

  So, if you want to do that, Not the Road, for sure.

• 40:23Speaker 01

  Dude, I will never, ever return to this lot and watch you do anything. You're on your own now, buddy. I came once. I ate with you in the commissary. It was horrible. Seven hours.

• 40:33Mark Normand?

  I'm with you. You do The Tonight Show. You gotta get there at two. You don't leave till seven. You're like, what the hell was this?

• 40:38Speaker 01

  Right, and that was only five hours.

• 40:40Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  I'm talking eight on a lot that I couldn't get on because they don't have the IDs right and I gotta fight with the people. And meanwhile, I have Jokey the Clown here who's on the fucking show. Nobody believes that. And I'm like, no, he's in it. I'm just a driver.

• 40:54Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 40:54Speaker 01

  I don't wanna, no.

• 40:56Mark Normand?

  I think you're right about the sitcom, though. That's true. Because a lot of guys, you know, Bernie Mac, Jamie Foxx, Damon Wayans, they all got sitcoms, all the white guys.

• 41:02Speaker 01

  What was the network? You?

• 41:04Mark Normand?

  I think it's UPN.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  Maybe UPN.

• 41:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think I found the clip as well here, local TV station, if you want to see it.

• 41:10Mark Normand?

  Please.

• 41:11Speaker 03

  I'll pop one.

• 41:11Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 41:12Sam Morril?

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• 41:43Mark Normand?

  Evil.

• 41:44Sam Morril?

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• 41:58Mark Normand?

  Same. We can spot pay.

• 42:00Sam Morril?

  And then, uh...

• 42:00Mark Normand?

  Look at this thing. This thing's killing my back.

• 42:02Sam Morril?

  And I don't have, yeah, I need a thing for my cards. I'm getting on one of these.

• 42:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 42:06Sam Morril?

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• 42:20Mark Normand?

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• 43:05Mark Normand?

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• 43:15Sam Morril?

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• 43:17Mark Normand?

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• 43:21Sam Morril?

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• 43:24Mark Normand?

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• 43:24Sam Morril?

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• 43:30Mark Normand?

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• 43:58Sam Morril?

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• 44:35Mark Normand?

  Very good.

• 44:36Sam Morril?

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• 44:38Mark Normand?

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• 44:49Sam Morril?

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• 45:06Mark Normand?

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• 45:25Mark Normand?

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• 45:26Sam Morril?

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• 45:30Mark Normand?

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  Very nice.

• 45:34Sam Morril?

  Love merino wool. Their cashmere sweaters start at 60 bucks. That's wild. They also have premium down jackets, classic wool outerwear for when the temperature drops. Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality instead of the brand markup. That's right, no kid labor, I would, I think. Sounds like no kid labor. Is it ethical, right? Uh, no animal testing, probably. Ethical?

• 46:01Mark Normand?

  Very good.

• 46:02Sam Morril?

  I, I wear this shit all the time.

• 46:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, I love Quince.

• 46:04Sam Morril?

  I love it, dude. I, it's quality, it fits right, and it's not expensive. I, I love it. And I like what, like, I mean, it's not the logo everywhere.

• 46:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah, true, true.

• 46:12Sam Morril?

  It's got, it's got everything going for it. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns, now available in Canada and the UK as well. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was We Might Be Drunk. It's the best way to support the show. Quince!

• 46:33Mark Normand?

  Thank you. Is this it?

• 46:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was it.

• 46:37Speaker 04

  That was Phil Stiller.

• 46:39Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  That was supposed to be Brooke Shields, my brother Quinn, his son.

• 46:43Mark Normand?

  We got the B squad.

• 46:48Mark Normand?

  Are you still with it?

• 46:50Sam Morril?

  He's 88 here?

• 46:51Mark Normand?

  I assume, wow. Hey, look at that.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  Oh, I've never seen it.

• 47:04Mark Normand?

  Nancy Reagan.

• 47:16Speaker 04

  Looked at him. He looked at a cassette.

• 47:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 47:25Sam Morril?

  The classic misdirection.

• 47:27Mark Normand?

  She, she created that whole thing.

• 47:33Speaker 04

  I can't watch myself.

• 47:37Speaker 04

  Felt like calling Unsolved Mysteries and going, yeah, I found everybody.

• 47:41Mark Normand?

  Wait, pull up the Caroline's wall and then her sweater. I gotta compare the two. That sweater was right out of Caroline's.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  That, that, yeah, exactly.

• 47:50Sam Morril?

  Oh shit, that is the Caroline's.

• 47:52Speaker 01

  I should've worn it on Caroline's.

• 47:53Mark Normand?

  Oh, you would've blended in like camo.

• 47:55Speaker 01

  I would've been wallpaper.

• 47:57Mark Normand?

  Ah, this is gonna take a half hour, god damn it.

• 48:00Sam Morril?

  Damn, that's cool, man.

• 48:01Mark Normand?

  How cool is that?

• 48:03Speaker 01

  I don't know, is it?

• 48:04Mark Normand?

  What'd you get paid for that, 50 bucks?

• 48:06Sam Morril?

  What were like the first big gigs you did? The first like big, like what was your first special on?

• 48:11Speaker 01

  Uh, well HBO, cause the, and then I got HBO Half Hour, me, Chappelle.

• 48:17Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  Warren Hutchinson. That's one of the only things I have a poster of in my house.

• 48:22Sam Morril?

  That's pretty cool.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  I'm like, you know what, that was cool. Um, Patton Oswalt, there were five of us. The one skinny guy, maybe it was Warren, passed away?

• 48:31Sam Morril?

  I don't know Warren.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  Warren Hutchinson? Skinny black guy?

• 48:35Mark Normand?

  No.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  I think he died.

• 48:36Mark Normand?

  I don't care for that kinda humor.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, Hutchinson.

• 48:41Mark Normand?

  We just got the wall, there you go.

• 48:43Speaker 01

  I could be saying he's dead and he's not even dead. I don't know, but that's what I heard.

• 48:46Mark Normand?

  Uh oh.

• 48:47Speaker 01

  Um, but there was a fifth on that that I'm not thinking of.

• 48:55Mark Normand?

  Is that Warren?

• 48:55Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:56Mark Normand?

  There he is.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, does it say, did he pass away?

• 49:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, God.

• 49:03Sam Morril?

  Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

• 49:05Mark Normand?

  He was on UPN for a while.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  That'd be enough. Um, that was like the big, to get an HBO half hour.

• 49:14Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Was way better than a Comedy Central half hour. I got one of those too, but that had more, like, just between comics. That had more, because they didn't give that many. Like Comedy Central, at one point, I think it was like 25 a year. Like, what the fuck?

• 49:27Sam Morril?

  It was crazy.

• 49:28Speaker 01

  It was completely crazy.

• 49:29Sam Morril?

  By the time Mark and I did it, we, uh...

• 49:31Speaker 01

  It was...

• 49:33Sam Morril?

  It did nothing.

• 49:34Mark Normand?

  It was nothing, yeah, it was a waste.

• 49:35Speaker 01

  No, but it was almost a waste by the time I did it, where you're like, okay. And then Comedy Central, we filmed it somewhere here in New York, right off Times Square, one of those theaters, the Hudson Theater.

• 49:44Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  And nobody asked me, and I don't really care, but I'm like, huh. I go out and the background is a prairie with a windmill. And I'm like, what?

• 49:56Mark Normand?

  Well, you're Midwestern.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  I'm from St. Louis, we don't have windmills.

• 50:00Sam Morril?

  How about The Arch or something?

• 50:02Speaker 01

  I'm not from Kansas, my Kansas starts all that, not Missouri, and I was like...

• 50:05Sam Morril?

  A lot of funny people from St. Louis, by the way.

• 50:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, we, we have a lot of funny black people.

• 50:09Sam Morril?

  Tommy John again, you, Nikki Glaser.

• 50:12Mark Normand?

  Greg Warren.

• 50:12Sam Morril?

  Greg Warren, a lot of funny comics out there.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  And then the black side's even funnier. Cedric.

• 50:17Mark Normand?

  JB Smoove?

• 50:18Speaker 01

  Uh, I don't know about that.

• 50:21Mark Normand?

  Piles Davis.

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Lavelle Crawford. Lavelle and I grew up like two streets away from one another. And I go, now that I see you, I know you were the fattest kid at the swimming pool. There was a public swimming pool. He goes, oh, baby, that's a lot of fat, baby. I go, yeah, but now with a tiny pinhead. You have that pinhead, Lavelle. I go, I know I saw you as a kid, like, we never knew each other till later, but I'm like, it had to be... We're not that far apart in age, I'm like, it had to be you. And he's like, I'm sure, I have Ferguson.

• 50:49Sam Morril?

  He murders.

• 50:50Mark Normand?

  Murder, might be the hardest kill I've ever seen.

• 50:52Sam Morril?

  Good actor, too. Do you see, when he was on It's Always Sunny?

• 50:55Mark Normand?

  And Breaking Bad.

• 50:55Sam Morril?

  As Landslide, the diarrhea comic? It's fucking great.

• 50:59Mark Normand?

  Landslide.

• 51:00Speaker 01

  He's good at serious shit, too. He was good in the, um, the drug one.

• 51:04Mark Normand?

  Breaking Bad.

• 51:06Speaker 01

  Breaking Bad, but then there was another one, where it was like a Mexican cartel thing.

• 51:11Mark Normand?

  Narcos?

• 51:11Speaker 03

  It's, uh, yes, on Breaking Bad.

• 51:14Mark Normand?

  That had cartel in it.

• 51:16Speaker 01

  Red Fox is from St. Louis?

• 51:17Mark Normand?

  Whoa, I love Red Fox.

• 51:20Speaker 01

  And I love that the kids.

• 51:21Sam Morril?

  How about that Provel Pizza? What do you think?

• 51:22Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 51:23Sam Morril?

  It's pretty good.

• 51:24Speaker 01

  Emo's.

• 51:24Sam Morril?

  Emo's is good.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  I do or die, Zany's dwarf every time. I tell him, his kids play hockey and they're in St. Louis. Get an Emo's pizza. Matty, I've tasted it, it's your thing. It's not, you either love it or hate it.

• 51:35Mark Normand?

  I don't love it.

• 51:35Sam Morril?

  I don't love or hate it. I like it. It's, I'm a New York pizza guy. New Haven's my number one, but like, I like it. I get it when I go there.

• 51:43Mark Normand?

  Ew.

• 51:43Sam Morril?

  That's it. That and the toasted raviolis. That's the St. Louis thing.

• 51:46Speaker 01

  And then, once you try toasted ravioli outside of that, outside of that perimeter, it's gross.

• 51:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 51:52Speaker 01

  Like, I can't, I don't know where it originated, clearly not. Well, maybe, we have an Italian neighborhood that's pretty famous. I mean, Yogi Berra, all those guys are from.

• 51:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 52:00Speaker 01

  Joe DiMaggio.

• 52:01Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  They were all from that one neighborhood.

• 52:03Sam Morril?

  But DiMaggio grew up on the West Coast, so he was on SF, I think he was on the Bay.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  The St. Louis, it's, uh, like, the most famous Yankees. There was like, four of them from St. Louis.

• 52:15Mark Normand?

  You said that, right?

• 52:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:16Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 52:17Speaker 01

  And then, if you Google.

• 52:18Sam Morril?

  But DiMaggio's father was, I think he was like a fisherman off the coast in the Bay. So maybe, so maybe he grew up in the Bay after that. I don't, I don't know.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  It's, uh, you'll know him.

• 52:27Mark Normand?

  There we go. AI, do your thing. Yogi Berra, Paul Goldschmidt, Luke Voigt.

• 52:31Sam Morril?

  No, these are not good ones.

• 52:33Speaker 01

  No, it's a Yankee, for sure.

• 52:35Mark Normand?

  Joe Garciaola.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, Joe, right.

• 52:38Mark Normand?

  That's Italian.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  They were all from the hill. So maybe they did invent.

• 52:41Sam Morril?

  Jason Tatum, St. Louis.

• 52:42Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 52:43Sam Morril?

  Who's the guy in the Florida Panthers is, uh, St. Louis. A lot of good, yeah, the Kachaks. Yeah, they were, oh, man.

• 52:49Mark Normand?

  Look up JB Smoove just for me. I just want to know if, uh, JB Smoove was, uh, St. Louis.

• 52:54Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 52:55Mark Normand?

  Alright, what about Miles Davis?

• 52:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 52:57Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 52:58Sam Morril?

  That's a big one. St. Louis has fucking some nice contributions, man. Holy shit.

• 53:03Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 53:04Sam Morril?

  That funny bone was good for years.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  You can kind of say Tina Turner. That's where Ike and Tina became a thing.

• 53:10Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  But she's technically, I think, from, like, uh, Tennessee. Where's he from? I don't think so.

• 53:15Speaker 03

  See, early life, North Carolina.

• 53:16Mark Normand?

  God damn it.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:18Speaker 03

  Also, I think we've done Mr. Hutcheson a disservice here because we were like, um, is he alive or dead?

• 53:24Speaker 01

  He's alive.

• 53:25Speaker 03

  Can we listen to one of his jokes?

• 53:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, let's listen to a joke.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  I hate when he'll be like, "They're talking about you on a pod."

• 53:29Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, but I don't.

• 53:30Speaker 03

  They want to know if you're alive.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  I don't know, I just heard that, that's what I said.

• 53:32Speaker 05

  Because you have to wonder, "Well, what's number one?" You know? How did you get all the way to 187?

• 53:37Mark Normand?

  You cut right to the setup.

• 53:38Speaker 03

  Oh, sorry.

• 53:39Speaker 05

  He said, "Hey, Murd, put that on."

• 53:40Speaker 03

  I just put it in.

• 53:41Speaker 05

  It's, uh, hey, this is 187. 187, that's the code for murder.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  Here we go.

• 53:45Speaker 05

  Which bothers me because you have to wonder, "Well, what's number one?"

• 53:49Sam Morril?

  That's good.

• 53:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 53:50Speaker 05

  You get all the way to 187. Then somebody said, "Hey, Murd, put that on the list."

• 53:56Sam Morril?

  That's solid.

• 53:57Mark Normand?

  That's true, that's a good point.

• 53:58Speaker 01

  He had a great half hour, and he was fun. Um, oh, I know the other guy, uh, oh, God, Jeff Garland, who I wanted to murder.

• 54:05Mark Normand?

  We all do.

• 54:06Speaker 01

  Because he was so fucking late every day, and we all had to do this shit together.

• 54:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's his least problem.

• 54:11Speaker 01

  And as comedians, we're not used to any of that anyway. I don't want to rely on you, or you, or you, I just want to do my shit and leave.

• 54:16Sam Morril?

  Why do you have to wait for him, though?

• 54:18Speaker 01

  Uh, well, because it would be like a taping thing, or we're doing an intro thing for the stupid special, HBO, whatever they made us monkey do, monkey, you know, monkey behave, those banging cymbals. Fine, fine, Chappelle made it.

• 54:31Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  He's had 18 bags of weed, and he's fucking here.

• 54:34Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  He is fucking here. Like, come on, man, yeah.

• 54:38Mark Normand?

  Come on, Jeff.

• 54:39Speaker 01

  And then he would show up like laughing.

• 54:40Sam Morril?

  He's making that face when he shows up late.

• 54:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're an hour and a half late, it's hilarious, it's hilarious.

• 54:46Mark Normand?

  Well, at least he's gotten funnier. All right.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  I know, whatever, love you, Jeff, but you can't be late like that, it's not nice.

• 54:55Mark Normand?

  No, it is not.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  Just not consider it.

• 54:56Sam Morril?

  Punctuality, I would say punctuality is at the top, it's, it's just disrespectful to be late.

• 55:01Mark Normand?

  Disrespectful.

• 55:01Sam Morril?

  If I have friends who are late, I make comments of it. I got in a big fight with a close friend of mine because he was late, like, repeatedly, and I was like, I said it very respectfully, like, hey, I just, the late thing is...

• 55:11Speaker 01

  Can't do it.

• 55:12Sam Morril?

  I don't, I don't care for it, it's disrespectful, and he, and he pushed back, and then a while later, he was like, "You're right."

• 55:17Mark Normand?

  Wow, good.

• 55:18Sam Morril?

  But I do think lateness is fucking rude. Without a text, at least give me a text.

• 55:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah, everybody, shit happens, I get it, but every time?

• 55:25Speaker 01

  Well, back then too, he's not just, you know, it doesn't matter about me, but like, what about the HBO executive people? You're not worried that they'll be mad?

• 55:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's doing fine.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  I don't know, but I'm Catholic school rule follower. Like, you give me rules, I follow them.

• 55:37Sam Morril?

  When it affects other people?

• 55:39Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 55:40Sam Morril?

  If you're just late and it's, you're the bad guy, whatever, but when it affects other people, and it does, it's annoying.

• 55:46Speaker 01

  It's one of my top, I had to sit a friend down, but I will say, it was like a family thing, his whole family's always late. So they, they run like that, and he was like, he, when he'd get real nervous, he'd go like this, he'd like pat his own head. He'd be like, I go, Jim, here's the thing, I can't, you can always be 10 minutes late with me, maybe 15, 30, no. I'm not gonna wait anymore, I'm gonna drive out to the Brea Improv without you, I'm not stopping by while you're fucking ironing your shirt.

• 56:16Sam Morril?

  Was this a comic?

• 56:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:17Sam Morril?

  He was opening for you, and he was late.

• 56:19Speaker 01

  And he's a good friend.

• 56:20Mark Normand?

  That's crazy. And then they get mad at you, you left me? Like, yeah, motherfucker.

• 56:23Sam Morril?

  And you're driving your opener.

• 56:25Speaker 01

  I'm driving him, yeah, I pick, he's on my way, so no problem, I'll pick you up.

• 56:29Sam Morril?

  You're a better person than either of us.

• 56:30Speaker 01

  One time his roommate answered the door, I'm like, Ty, where's Jim? Ah, think he's ironing his shirt.

• 56:37Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  Ah, no, no, no, no, no, dude, this is not, but I will say, I had to talk with him, and from that day on, Jim was on time.

• 56:46Mark Normand?

  Okay, I mean, the 9/11 terrorists made it on time.

• 56:48Speaker 01

  Sometimes you just gotta let people.

• 56:50Sam Morril?

  Not all of them, some of them fucked it up.

• 56:51Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that right?

• 56:51Sam Morril?

  I think some people overslow.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  Sometimes you just gotta let people know it bothers you.

• 56:54Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 56:55Speaker 01

  Maybe it didn't bother, because Jim's like, my whole family's late all the time, like, nobody thinks anything of it. I'm like, well, the rest of the world isn't necessarily, um, on board with that.

• 57:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:06Speaker 01

  But he'd made awesome adjustments. So just when you think you can't do it anymore, just tell them.

• 57:12Sam Morril?

  Oh, when people are OCD and they're like, oh, I'm OCD, I'm like, I don't give a shit.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't give a shit.

• 57:16Sam Morril?

  Wash your hands 14 times before you meet, before you're supposed to meet me, how about that?

• 57:21Mark Normand?

  Exactly. There's a famous story about a guy.

• 57:23Sam Morril?

  Show up with a wrinkled fucking shirt, I don't give a shit.

• 57:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I love a wrinkled shirt. There's a story about a guy.

• 57:27Speaker 01

  Does anyone care?

• 57:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  No, no, we're doing a benefit for Tippi Hedren and her weird animals. Just get in the car, get in the car.

• 57:34Sam Morril?

  Which one is Tippi Hedren again?

• 57:36Speaker 01

  She's Melanie Griffith's mom. She was the lady in The Birds.

• 57:40Mark Normand?

  The Birds.

• 57:41Sam Morril?

  God, that is a whole lineage of famous hot chicks, huh?

• 57:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, who grew up with like lions and tigers in the house.

• 57:47Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 57:49Sam Morril?

  Melanie Griffith is so hot.

• 57:50Speaker 01

  Can you pull up a picture of Melanie Griffith?

• 57:52Sam Morril?

  Dude, Something Wild, you like that one? Ray Liotta, that's a wreck. If you haven't seen Something Wild, Ray Liotta, Jeff Daniels, Melanie Griffith.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  Oh, I've never seen it.

• 58:00Sam Morril?

  Great fucking movie. It's Jonathan Demme too, who did Silence of the Lambs. It's fucking awesome movie.

• 58:06Mark Normand?

  Holy shit.

• 58:06Speaker 01

  There it's the swimming pool.

• 58:08Mark Normand?

  That is not fun.

• 58:09Sam Morril?

  That's Melanie Griffith. Yeah, but that will prepare you well for Hollywood with dudes trying to grab you like that, so that's...

• 58:14Mark Normand?

  That's true. That's Harvey.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  There she is, and there, there's pictures of it in the house, like in the, oh, there it is in the kitchen on the bottom left.

• 58:21Sam Morril?

  To me, that's like...

• 58:22Speaker 01

  Look at that, look at it, they're coming through the window.

• 58:24Mark Normand?

  This is like Tiger King.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  It was the first Tiger King.

• 58:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 58:27Sam Morril?

  This is abusive, I think.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  I don't, I would have loved it.

• 58:30Sam Morril?

  A tiger?

• 58:31Speaker 01

  Fuck, yeah, if I was a little kid and somebody told me it was fine.

• 58:34Mark Normand?

  You can't have nice things.

• 58:35Speaker 01

  I would have trusted my dad's opinion on that.

• 58:37Sam Morril?

  A lion?

• 58:37Mark Normand?

  You smoking, you'd like that they got fire on accident, eat ash on.

• 58:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would be an excellent ashtray.

• 58:43Sam Morril?

  I don't care for this.

• 58:44Mark Normand?

  No.

• 58:45Speaker 01

  So this is the greatest, one of the greatest comic moments I've ever seen somebody fucking do. There's a comic from Houston named Jeff Burkhart, and he's very funny. And we all went out to do this benefit. I didn't even know what it was for. It was one of those last minute calls, can you guys all just show up at the Irvine Improv? It's for an animal. I didn't know it was animal based, like, don't, but Jeff didn't know. And he got there late, and he has like a two minute bit about running over his neighbor's cat. And he, he didn't mean to run over the cat, like it wasn't like on purpose. But it's kind of funny, like funny that, I, I can't explain it, but Tippi Hedren was there. I didn't even know who this person was. She stands, stands up and bangs her glass with a spoon, like we're at some sort of royal reception,

• 59:30Speaker 01

  and says, remove this man from stage. Like she's a queen of something. And all of the comics in the back, I'm like... Like, who's that? And they're like, it's Tippi Hedren, like, Melanie Griffith's mom, like, she was probably eighty at the time.

• 59:43Mark Normand?

  Oh my god.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  And he's like, I'm sorry ma'am, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not getting offstage. She goes onstage and tries to grab the mic out of his hand, he goes, oh no. Do you know how many open mic nights you need to go to get a hold of this mic lady? You need to go, and he gives her this laundry list of what you need to do to be a comedian. And he walks, she then went to the improv on Melrose the following day and told Bud Friedman she wanted him fired.

• 1:00:08Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  From every club, which, you know, Bud doesn't even know who we're talking about.

• 1:00:12Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure.

• 1:00:13Speaker 01

  Oh, I'll look into it, what's his name, you know, I'm like, well, it was Jeff Burkhart, but...

• 1:00:17Mark Normand?

  They should have thrown like fifty birds at her.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  She was very mad, but it's like, lady, it's just a joke about running over a cat, like...

• 1:00:23Mark Normand?

  I know, when you hit her cat, you're gonna wreck your fucking truck.

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  Your little precious piece of shit.

• 1:00:29Sam Morril?

  Freeman's like, can we remove this lady real quick? Fucking kook.

• 1:00:33Mark Normand?

  Wow, what a nut.

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:35Mark Normand?

  Entitlement.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  She grew up with all that, she still has, if we, if we Google LA Tippi Hedren Animal Park. She's still...

• 1:00:43Sam Morril?

  She's still cooking?

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  I don't know that she's still alive, but the park is, you can spend the night there.

• 1:00:48Mark Normand?

  Weird.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  It's...

• 1:00:50Mark Normand?

  We got hobos that do that here. Look at that!

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  She's still pretty.

• 1:00:54Mark Normand?

  What, Toblin, Lily Toblin?

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  Lily Toblin.

• 1:00:57Sam Morril?

  Love her.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  I love Lily Toblin.

• 1:00:58Mark Normand?

  They love pussy. All these lesbians, okay.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  Look how pretty she still is, though.

• 1:01:03Mark Normand?

  She looks amazing.

• 1:01:04Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, beautiful, yeah. Remember in Nashville, she was hot, dude?

• 1:01:08Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, Nashville.

• 1:01:09Speaker 01

  In what?

• 1:01:10Sam Morril?

  Remember the movie Nashville, Robert Altman movie, great flick.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Never saw it.

• 1:01:13Sam Morril?

  From the seventies, oh my god.

• 1:01:15Mark Normand?

  You'd like it.

• 1:01:16Sam Morril?

  Musical, but it's like dark and fucking seedy about showbiz, it's awesome.

• 1:01:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  I didn't realize how much Melanie looks like her until I just saw that.

• 1:01:24Mark Normand?

  You can see it.

• 1:01:25Sam Morril?

  That's, they've got some hot genes in that family.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  Who was the dad?

• 1:01:29Mark Normand?

  Good question.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  Was he someone famous?

• 1:01:31Mark Normand?

  I hope he liked animals.

• 1:01:34Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, can you imagine she doesn't drop this, she'd get married? By the way, I want tigers in the house, you're like, fuck.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  I hope you're not allergic to cats.

• 1:01:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  Cause there's a lot of cat, who?

• 1:01:43Speaker 03

  Tippi Hedren's husband, sorry.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:47Mark Normand?

  Husband.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:01:50Mark Normand?

  Uh oh.

• 1:01:53Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:01:53Sam Morril?

  Now, keep it in your pants, Alex. Here's Jesus.

• 1:01:55Speaker 01

  Who is he?

• 1:01:56Mark Normand?

  Peter Griffith.

• 1:01:57Speaker 01

  Oh, Peter Griffith.

• 1:02:02Sam Morril?

  And her brother was baby Stewie.

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 1:02:06Mark Normand?

  How about that?

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  Well, he's cute, too.

• 1:02:08Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Cute kids.

• 1:02:10Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 1:02:11Sam Morril?

  Melanie Griffith had a hot chick run.

• 1:02:14Mark Normand?

  Oh, Milk Money.

• 1:02:15Sam Morril?

  For sure. Oh, my god.

• 1:02:16Mark Normand?

  Don't get me started on that.

• 1:02:17Sam Morril?

  Charming, too. Like, very cool.

• 1:02:19Mark Normand?

  Cool gal.

• 1:02:20Sam Morril?

  You know what? She was like sixteen in that movie Night Moves with Gene Hackman.

• 1:02:23Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 1:02:24Sam Morril?

  Fuck.

• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  Gene Hackman was probably sixty-eight.

• 1:02:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:27Sam Morril?

  It's a good flick.

• 1:02:28Speaker 01

  They always, and nobody cared.

• 1:02:29Mark Normand?

  Simpleton.

• 1:02:29Sam Morril?

  No, he was pretty young in that. That was like seventy. That was pretty young. Yeah. I mean, poor Gene Hackman. Jesus Christ.

• 1:02:35Mark Normand?

  Brutal.

• 1:02:35Sam Morril?

  I mean, it's like one, you make it to ninety-five, whatever the hell he was, and then you just die like that. What the fuck?

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  What happened again? Rats all over the property.

• 1:02:42Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:02:43Sam Morril?

  Well, he just, you don't think about that, do you? But like, that, you die alone. Some animal's gnawing on your fucking skull.

• 1:02:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:50Sam Morril?

  Which I guess I'm dead, but I don't like it.

• 1:02:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you think of your Gene Hackman, it's not a rat. It might be your cat.

• 1:02:55Sam Morril?

  I, yeah.

• 1:02:56Speaker 01

  Or.

• 1:02:57Mark Normand?

  Thank god she didn't die in her home. She'd be mauled to death. Well, those big Pumas.

• 1:03:04Speaker 01

  That was a weird, weird death.

• 1:03:06Mark Normand?

  What happened again? Heart attack?

• 1:03:07Sam Morril?

  Well, I think she was his caretaker, and he must have had some sort of dementia, and she died.

• 1:03:11Speaker 01

  She died.

• 1:03:12Sam Morril?

  And then he had no one to take, and he, yeah.

• 1:03:14Mark Normand?

  Oh, god, oh, mighty.

• 1:03:16Sam Morril?

  Not good.

• 1:03:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah, hope for fettle.

• 1:03:18Speaker 01

  How about, though, when somebody has dementia, if I'm the caretaker, I have a checker in her every day just in case something happens to me? What happened to that, like, plan?

• 1:03:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah, good point.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  Like, because if I go, he'll be ape shit and not know anything, I don't know, there should have been Catholic rules, rule follower. I would have had, I would have had a backup plan.

• 1:03:36Sam Morril?

  He was a fucking ledge. I love, I love Gene Hackman.

• 1:03:39Mark Normand?

  Popeye Doyle, baby.

• 1:03:41Sam Morril?

  Oh, man, French Connection?

• 1:03:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:43Sam Morril?

  Fuck, yeah.

• 1:03:44Mark Normand?

  Now, how are you dealing with all this new age comedy shit with the clips and the pods and the editing?

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  I love the podcasts.

• 1:03:51Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  I love them all. I love, I have my own.

• 1:03:54Sam Morril?

  Which part did you just do? I just saw you on something recently.

• 1:03:55Speaker 01

  Birds.

• 1:03:56Sam Morril?

  Bird, it was something else, too.

• 1:03:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, Bert.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  Uh, I don't know, I did a bunch. Tom, Papa.

• 1:04:01Sam Morril?

  That was Tom Papa. That's what it was.

• 1:04:03Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:04:04Speaker 01

  I'm really close with Tom.

• 1:04:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's, we love, we love Bert and Tom.

• 1:04:07Speaker 01

  Uh, they're both great. Um, I love the podcast part. Um, I don't really get the, post the clip of me dealing with the heckler thing.

• 1:04:17Mark Normand?

  It's just engagement. You don't have to burn material.

• 1:04:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah, just a way to.

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  The whole burn material thing, I think, is just an idiotic argument. Do you think because I have done a million jokes, I've done, I have a regurgitated set of Olympic jokes that I've done on like a hundred shows and nobody knows it except me and one guy, Bob. Bob has booked me doing it numerous times, but they're funny enough. It works, you know, for the ti- it's a timing thing. Like, hey, it's the Olympics.

• 1:04:42Sam Morril?

  Lucky you bring them back.

• 1:04:42Speaker 01

  And then it looks like I just wrote it all yesterday, but it's ten years or whatever.

• 1:04:45Sam Morril?

  I love when that happens though.

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  I have done a million jokes on TV. Do people not come anymore because they've seen it? Of course not.

• 1:04:51Sam Morril?

  I just think there's a pressure now, though, that you really have to just turn over hours like never before.

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  Well, that is weird. Like, there's.

• 1:04:57Sam Morril?

  It is weird, but I think that is the expectation. Like, I did a show at the Chicago Theater recently, and I got all, I thought it went really well. This guy wrote me this long message, like, "I'm so disappointed that I've heard that closer before."

• 1:05:08Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 1:05:09Sam Morril?

  And I was like, and I was like, I'm, I'm like, I don't know what the fuck you want me to tell you. It was like, I had like fifty new minutes before that.

• 1:05:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly. Anyone end strong? It's a good closer?

• 1:05:19Sam Morril?

  And, and the show went well. It's like, when you get off, you're like, that was good.

• 1:05:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:22Sam Morril?

  And I can, and I'm hard on myself. I'm like, I know when it's bad, but yeah, you know, people.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  I don't think seeing someone deal with a heckler is gonna propel me to want to go buy a ticket to see them.

• 1:05:31Sam Morril?

  Interesting.

• 1:05:31Speaker 01

  I need to see, what are you doing that would make me? It, it, there's a big difference between, I'll follow you on TikTok, I'll follow you on Instagram, or I'm going online to Ticketmaster and buying a ticket, or a club, like, whatever. It's a, there's another level there to push you over the edge to do that. Even as like a, um, like, I love music more than comedy. But music-wise.

• 1:05:54Sam Morril?

  What, what's your, give us some music, Rex?

• 1:05:56Speaker 01

  I love Ella Langley right now.

• 1:05:58Sam Morril?

  Okay.

• 1:05:59Mark Normand?

  I don't know Ella Langley.

• 1:06:00Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. "Choose in Texas" is like the biggest song that's happening right now.

• 1:06:04Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  She's country, but she almost sounds old school. Like, um.

• 1:06:09Sam Morril?

  Ella Langley.

• 1:06:10Mark Normand?

  I like old school.

• 1:06:10Speaker 01

  I love, she's, she's super pretty.

• 1:06:13Sam Morril?

  I wanna see, I wanna, I wanna hear it.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  But her, this song, can we play this? So we can get in trouble.

• 1:06:19Mark Normand?

  Peters?

• 1:06:23Speaker 01

  It's her voice.

• 1:06:25Mark Normand?

  I love that twang.

• 1:06:27Speaker 01

  And she's got a deep, like smokey.

• 1:06:35Mark Normand?

  Hubba hubba.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  So her.

• 1:06:41Mark Normand?

  I like it.

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  I love Morgan Wallen.

• 1:06:43Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure. God's country.

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  He's East Tennessee, yeah. This is so, the whole album.

• 1:06:52Mark Normand?

  Great. Pipes.

• 1:06:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I like it.

• 1:06:56Mark Normand?

  And Easy on the Eyes.

• 1:07:00Speaker 01

  I can tell.

• 1:07:02Sam Morril?

  So you're a country gal?

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  Not really.

• 1:07:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  But I live in Nashville, so I'm surrounded by it.

• 1:07:07Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 1:07:08Speaker 01

  You can't, but no.

• 1:07:09Sam Morril?

  Were you always in Nashville?

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  No, I'm from St. Louis and I went to LA for 20 years.

• 1:07:13Sam Morril?

  You were in LA for 20 years?

• 1:07:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:15Mark Normand?

  Jesus!

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Tanned at the beach with all the beach comics, um...

• 1:07:18Mark Normand?

  Venice?

• 1:07:19Speaker 01

  Daniel Tosh.

• 1:07:20Mark Normand?

  Oh, hell yeah!

• 1:07:20Speaker 01

  No, we were the Redondo Hermosa group.

• 1:07:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's living out there.

• 1:07:24Sam Morril?

  Did you like it out there?

• 1:07:25Speaker 01

  We had a blast. Well, I loved the beach, but then eventually the traffic got so bad you can't get in and out. So I just bit the bullet and moved into West Hollywood. I'm like, okay, I'm right here. The Comedy Store's right there. Laugh Factory's right there. You know, it's all a mile away.

• 1:07:38Mark Normand?

  Improv, yeah.

• 1:07:39Speaker 01

  I hated it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I don't miss one thing, except Barney's Beanery. I love Barney's because everyone in there was normal and wanted to watch sports. So it was a ton of like east coast and Midwest people. Not the California cocktail crowd or whatever you want to call those people.

• 1:07:54Mark Normand?

  Too real for LA.

• 1:07:56Speaker 01

  Can we just turn on the fucking Blackhawks game? I mean...

• 1:07:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:00Speaker 01

  No. There's nowhere else. They won't even have it.

• 1:08:02Sam Morril?

  So you're Chicago for hockey?

• 1:08:04Speaker 01

  Well, no, I'm Blues, but they were playing them. Usually it was the Blackhawks-Blues. But like you'd go to these other bars and there's like, the Super Bowl would be on and they don't have a fucking TV.

• 1:08:14Mark Normand?

  Ah, crazy.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  No, I'm not meeting you for drinks. No, that's Super Bowl. Like there was just that dense... I would never feel that way in Chicago or New York.

• 1:08:24Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:08:24Sam Morril?

  Chicago's an underrated, also an underrated drinking city.

• 1:08:27Speaker 01

  It's underrated drinking and it's mostly beer and whiskey, like solid, old school stuff, not weird drinks.

• 1:08:33Sam Morril?

  And just great food and good vibes.

• 1:08:35Speaker 01

  Great food, super nice people.

• 1:08:36Sam Morril?

  Underrated city, Chicago.

• 1:08:37Speaker 01

  And sports fans that will die for their sports. Like even, I don't know, like I love the 49ers, but I feel like if I'm in San Francisco and you're walking around downtown, you may not know the 49ers are in a playoff game right now.

• 1:08:48Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 1:08:50Speaker 01

  I don't feel it.

• 1:08:51Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 1:08:52Sam Morril?

  Well, I agree they're good with the Warriors, but you might be right about the Niners, yeah.

• 1:08:55Speaker 01

  Well, and then they moved too far south.

• 1:08:57Sam Morril?

  I know. And also the Warriors, they just spoiled the fuck out of that city. Four championships in like 10 years, I mean, that was crazy.

• 1:09:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, then it just becomes boring.

• 1:09:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you're just, you're spoiled.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  Uh, and then I moved to Nashville like 11 years ago. I left LA. I'm like, you know, I don't need to live here. All the late night shows moved here.

• 1:09:14Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:09:14Speaker 01

  So what am I doing here? Cause I used to go on the sign show a lot.

• 1:09:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:19Speaker 01

  And then if somebody fell out, they knew they could just call and I'll go over there and do that. Uh, Conan was there, everybody was there. And then they all just kinda started dropping off. I'm like, I don't, I don't have to live here anymore. I'm gonna sell this house.

• 1:09:30Mark Normand?

  Good for you.

• 1:09:31Speaker 01

  For.

• 1:09:31Sam Morril?

  You're one of the first, I feel like, cause a lot of the people with COVID moves.

• 1:09:35Speaker 01

  Oh, I left way before COVID.

• 1:09:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:36Speaker 01

  But I thought it was getting weird, like, there was a guy going through my trash. And I went out to like, go, dude, if you just tell me what you want, I'll actually save it, I'll save it for you. Tell me what you want. And the dude, the dude growled at me.

• 1:09:51Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:09:54Speaker 01

  I'm out. Like, I don't even know what that meant, but I've never seen a human growl.

• 1:09:59Mark Normand?

  That's crazy.

• 1:10:00Speaker 01

  And I was like, I'll save you, what do you want? Cans, bottle, like, I don't know what you're looking for, but instead of throwing trash all in my yard, how about I just save it for you?

• 1:10:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was like, I'm out. And Dorf, Zany's Dorf was like, Nashville, Maddie. Cause I wanted to be able to drive to my parents. They were getting old. And I'm like, if shit goes weird, I don't wanna be a flight away.

• 1:10:20Sam Morril?

  How far, how far a drive is that?

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  Uh, four and a half to St. Louis, all said and done.

• 1:10:25Sam Morril?

  It's so funny that comedy people influence, cause I moved downtown in the city cause of Liz at the Settle. And Tom Papa, actually. Liz was like, you gotta just fucking move downtown. And Tom Papa was like, you gotta live in the village. Move to the village. And it was like those hangouts back to back. I was like, fuck it, I'm, actually, I just moved downtown.

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  That's a message from Jesus.

• 1:10:43Sam Morril?

  It was.

• 1:10:44Speaker 01

  Came through Tom and Liz.

• 1:10:45Mark Normand?

  That's a super.

• 1:10:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. But Dorf, Dorf's like, Matt, you could golf every day. We can go fishing every day at the, I go, what lake?

• 1:10:54Mark Normand?

  Nah.

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  And he goes, just right by the airport. I go, I've been coming here 20 years, Dorf. He's always took me golfing. I go, you never took me fishing? I don't know there's a lake here. He's like, yeah, it's five minutes from the golf course. And so I-

• 1:11:07Sam Morril?

  You could have recruited me this whole time.

• 1:11:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. You could have, we could have been fishing versus golf or both, but I-

• 1:11:12Sam Morril?

  So you like, do you fish a lot?

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, every day. Well, I mean, not when it's freezing, but-

• 1:11:16Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:11:17Speaker 01

  I built a house on that lake. I'm eight minutes from the airport, 15 minutes from downtown, and five minutes from Dorf.

• 1:11:24Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:11:25Sam Morril?

  What's your, yeah, what's your situation like? What kind of house are you in?

• 1:11:27Speaker 01

  Um-

• 1:11:28Mark Normand?

  What's the address?

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  I don't know. I found it online. It was somewhere in the northwest and I just asked a builder, can you just make that? And he was like, yeah. And he was drunk every day.

• 1:11:38Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:11:39Speaker 01

  Every day he showed up with his dog and a big thing of Jack and Coke. He was hammered. It's the most well-built house.

• 1:11:44Mark Normand?

  Damn, stairs are like this.

• 1:11:45Speaker 01

  I was like, imagine what Doug could have done sober. Like, I love this house. And even do, like dudes will walk in and they'll start stomping and banging on shit. Well-built house, Kathleen, well-built. Like, I didn't even ask, unsolicited. So I don't know, I just lucked out and, uh, I'm right by Dorf and I see him like, at least, well, when the weather's nice, we golf probably three times a week.

• 1:12:06Mark Normand?

  Do you get a word in?

• 1:12:06Speaker 01

  And Nate's there.

• 1:12:08Mark Normand?

  I know Dorf.

• 1:12:09Speaker 01

  No, Dorf.

• 1:12:09Mark Normand?

  He's a talker.

• 1:12:10Sam Morril?

  He's a talker.

• 1:12:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:12:11Speaker 01

  He's one of, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt. I'm like, dude, you're like a, cause my sister goes, what's, what's your deal with him? I go, he is like having a 16-year-old friend that's a guy. Every woman needs that guy. He wants to golf, fish, and smash beer cans on our heads. And sometimes I feel like that. Not all the time. I don't want to be married to Dorf.

• 1:12:32Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:12:32Speaker 01

  But as a, as somebody in the phone, you want to go downtown right now and go see Jelly Roll? Fuck, yeah, Matty.

• 1:12:38Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's great.

• 1:12:39Speaker 01

  He's a goer, he's a doer, he's a, I like it, so.

• 1:12:42Mark Normand?

  How the hell do you, you got like so many specials. How do you write all that material? What's your, what's the move?

• 1:12:47Sam Morril?

  You are prolific.

• 1:12:47Mark Normand?

  You are prolific. And you don't get your do.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  People say that, but I don't, I don't-

• 1:12:51Sam Morril?

  You do, she's, dude, she's a fucking-

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  No, no, I do not, like, that's what you're saying.

• 1:12:55Mark Normand?

  We got a great one right here.

• 1:12:56Speaker 01

  There's somebody that's under 30 that says they're doing their fourth special. I'm like, really?

• 1:13:00Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:13:01Speaker 01

  As a comedian. Somebody yelled, well, Kathleen, you know, I mean, has had a special in whatever it was, three years. I'm like, shartay, after her hit, didn't have an album for 21 years.

• 1:13:14Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:13:15Speaker 01

  You're supposed to.

• 1:13:16Sam Morril?

  But you are prolific, I think.

• 1:13:18Speaker 01

  I.

• 1:13:18Mark Normand?

  How many specials you got? Pull it up. Well, we got, we got IMDb here.

• 1:13:22Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:13:22Mark Normand?

  It's gotta be over 10, right?

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  Well, hours or half hours?

• 1:13:27Mark Normand?

  Well, let's say a half hour. I don't know. Either way, it's a lot.

• 1:13:32Speaker 01

  Well, if you combine, there's probably seven hour ones. I don't know. And then the half hour ones.

• 1:13:39Mark Normand?

  That counts. We'll add two of those up. We get another hour.

• 1:13:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you figure, you know, that's, I don't know, one every three years. That's about right.

• 1:13:50Mark Normand?

  That's rare.

• 1:13:51Speaker 01

  I think it takes three years to do it correctly, in my opinion, for me. For me.

• 1:13:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah, same.

• 1:13:57Speaker 01

  I don't know, but I, I'm friends with Ronan Hirschberg. Ronan could write an hour in his sleep and I still like it.

• 1:14:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's a great writer.

• 1:14:04Speaker 01

  Smart and every, I can't do that.

• 1:14:08Sam Morril?

  We talked about him. We were in, I don't know, we were hanging in Nashville.

• 1:14:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's a kind of.

• 1:14:12Sam Morril?

  Shane was fucking handing Bud Lights. We were at that Post Malone thing. That was fun as hell.

• 1:14:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:14:18Speaker 01

  That was great. His album release. Yeah, I don't.

• 1:14:20Mark Normand?

  It looks like six or seven. Wow. And that's not even including the half hours.

• 1:14:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, my lord.

• 1:14:26Speaker 01

  So, yeah, that's a, that's a lot.

• 1:14:28Sam Morril?

  I think, I think every comic's different. I think you know when something's ready and I think sometimes it takes you two years and sometimes it takes you four years. Who the fuck knows?

• 1:14:36Speaker 01

  That's why it's terrible when Netflix is putting these time limits on people and says, you're gonna give me three specials.

• 1:14:41Mark Normand?

  That's crazy.

• 1:14:42Speaker 01

  But that's why we know when you click on somebody we all like, I won't name names, where you're like, that was half ass. Cause he didn't have enough time.

• 1:14:48Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  He was under some weird pressure and then you just turn it in because the money was good.

• 1:14:53Mark Normand?

  Yes, happens all the time.

• 1:14:55Speaker 01

  I get it, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't do it. I would say no.

• 1:14:59Mark Normand?

  I could name a.

• 1:15:00Speaker 01

  I would be embarrassed.

• 1:15:01Mark Normand?

  Five comics who had a great opening special. Their, their debut was amazing and then the, the heat was so pressured that the second one sucked.

• 1:15:09Speaker 01

  There's one I know right now.

• 1:15:10Mark Normand?

  I, yeah.

• 1:15:11Speaker 01

  And it makes me sad because I know that person, if he wasn't pressured and he was given more time, the second one would have been great too.

• 1:15:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:17Sam Morril?

  It's tough.

• 1:15:18Mark Normand?

  You hear that, Louis?

• 1:15:19Sam Morril?

  But, but I think also the, uh, the touring is good. I mean, that's the other thing. It's like touring's fun.

• 1:15:24Mark Normand?

  You gotta get up.

• 1:15:26Sam Morril?

  You have to, I mean, I do love, I mean, I just did Europe in, in October and you're like, let's see if these work here. It's, it's, it's a fun thing.

• 1:15:34Speaker 01

  It's like a puzzle.

• 1:15:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you're like, kind of running through the mud. The only joke that didn't work in Europe was I had like a healthcare joke that was kind of specific to the US. But other than that, everything hit.

• 1:15:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, liberty?

• 1:15:45Sam Morril?

  No, that's an old joke. No, I had a joke, I had a joke about, um, how Amazon was doing discount checkups. And I said, that's how fucked we are in America that Amazon's trying to help. I said, we're like a year away from, hey, what's your health insurance? I'm with a DraftKings Silverleaf Premier. And they're like, are they good? Yeah, with the flu shot, you get 20 bucks in bonus bets. But that's not like, they don't have DraftKings in Europe. So they didn't get, but I'm like, I still like the joke. I'll still put it in the special, but it's like, you know.

• 1:16:09Mark Normand?

  That's a, yeah, that's.

• 1:16:10Sam Morril?

  It's very specific to America.

• 1:16:12Mark Normand?

  Yes. And they'll get it when the special goes over there. They'll, they'll figure it out.

• 1:16:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah. And also like, you know what? If there's one of those and I like it, it's fine. If there's like five of those, then it's a problem. But, you know.

• 1:16:24Speaker 01

  I think there's too much pressure on some of these people where I'm like, oh, here's another special. Really? We just saw one eight months ago.

• 1:16:33Sam Morril?

  If it's all you do, it's also different. Like when Mark and I started, and you know, obviously when you started, but like, I remember we talk about this all the time. Mark and I used to meet in the coffee shop and just bounce bits. We didn't have pods. We didn't like.

• 1:16:45Mark Normand?

  No, the whole day.

• 1:16:45Sam Morril?

  We were just, all we did was stand up. We didn't have people asking for scripts for a show. We were literally only doing stand up. Now there's other shit. You know, your dad and there's, and there's career stuff.

• 1:16:57Mark Normand?

  Clips, editing, wrote a movie.

• 1:16:58Sam Morril?

  You need a social media manager.

• 1:17:00Speaker 01

  It becomes another job within the job.

• 1:17:01Sam Morril?

  We have a whole thing. And, and this is still number one, but holy shit, I wish I had more time. Sometimes I have to just be like, please don't contact me to people or like, I'm putting my phone in the other room. I need it. I need a topical joke.

• 1:17:12Speaker 01

  They're also totally different audiences. Like I, I do my Madigan's Pub Cast. People come to shows and they're like, yeah, I didn't even know you were a comedian.

• 1:17:21Sam Morril?

  We get it all the time, but people didn't know we did a podcast.

• 1:17:23Speaker 01

  I don't care. Or they don't know you do this. But the podcast people are very specific. And very different than the stand up fans. They're very rarely are they crossing. So it's like if you do a podcast that people like, then there's a whole nother audience waiting out there to be had.

• 1:17:42Mark Normand?

  Totally.

• 1:17:42Speaker 01

  But it's a second job.

• 1:17:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but it's another thing.

• 1:17:45Speaker 01

  I don't feel like doing it every week. I love doing it, but when I'm swamped and the road is in a churning spin and I gotta go, and like the Amazon special, you know, I actually participate in all that. Like I pick the headshot. I tell them, I give them, I edit it myself.

• 1:18:00Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:18:01Speaker 01

  I don't do the real, I tell them where.

• 1:18:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:03Speaker 01

  Like I'm involved. So I'm busy and then, but it's almost like if you don't, I don't know. I just think you're gonna fall off the map.

• 1:18:12Sam Morril?

  You gotta stay, you gotta stay in shape. But I will say, I don't, I don't realize how busy we all are until I get like a cold or something. And I'm like, fuck, I guess I do a lot.

• 1:18:19Mark Normand?

  You gotta shut up.

• 1:18:21Sam Morril?

  When you get sick and you're like, oh shit, doing this, like.

• 1:18:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:24Speaker 01

  Who's gonna do all that I was supposed to do today?

• 1:18:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, fuck.

• 1:18:27Mark Normand?

  I always put stand up first, though.

• 1:18:29Speaker 01

  It would've been better to, it would've been better to just be like Ron White. He was famous for the time he was famous. He'll always be famous within a certain group in America that loves Ron and they'll, and he can do a casino, he sells everything out to this day and he does nothing aside from that.

• 1:18:46Mark Normand?

  Golf.

• 1:18:47Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, he golf.

• 1:18:48Sam Morril?

  But he's also, he's the type of guy that might've been grandfathered out a little bit.

• 1:18:52Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying. He's grandfathered into, if you became a big enough star in your time, whatever timeframe that was, you can still run off that.

• 1:19:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 1:19:01Speaker 01

  Like Ron's 70, people that come to casinos are still 70. He can do every casino in America, but he can still sell hard tickets. Like Knoxville, he sold out two shows. I mean,

• 1:19:10Mark Normand?

  Nice.

• 1:19:10Speaker 01

  And he is writing new jokes. He's going on to the.

• 1:19:12Sam Morril?

  That theater in Knoxville is one of the best in the country, I think.

• 1:19:15Mark Normand?

  Bijou?

• 1:19:15Sam Morril?

  The Bijou in Knoxville.

• 1:19:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's a good room.

• 1:19:18Speaker 01

  That's a, yeah, like he's in the, I'm in the Bijou, he's in the big, big, big.

• 1:19:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow. Okay.

• 1:19:24Speaker 01

  But what's the?

• 1:19:25Sam Morril?

  But that's a great theater. Knoxville's a great city. I mean.

• 1:19:27Speaker 01

  It's fun. I was there when college game day was there.

• 1:19:30Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 1:19:30Speaker 01

  I've never seen that much excitement in a town. I've also never seen that many blue tick hounds, cause that's their mascot. But you're allowed to bring yours.

• 1:19:38Mark Normand?

  I thought that was a slur.

• 1:19:39Speaker 01

  No. I was so excited. I love a hound more than anything. And I'm like, fuck, there's like a million of them. You're allowed to bring it to the game.

• 1:19:47Mark Normand?

  Pull up a blue tick hound. I don't know what that is.

• 1:19:49Speaker 01

  Oh my God, it's so cute. It looks like a beagle mixed with a Australian.

• 1:19:54Mark Normand?

  That?

• 1:19:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, those are cute.

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  So, no, no. Click on the mid- can you click on the middle one? That's like, no, next one. The other side, other side. Yeah, that guy.

• 1:20:04Sam Morril?

  Those are like very all-American.

• 1:20:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's like a hunting dog.

• 1:20:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a hunting dog, yeah. But they're just, they're also like super spoony, like beagles, like they're... But Knoxville, ah, come on.

• 1:20:18Mark Normand?

  That thing will fetch a duck for you right out of the pond.

• 1:20:20Sam Morril?

  Such a proud-looking face.

• 1:20:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:22Speaker 01

  I killed all the chickens, I just, I killed all the chickens.

• 1:20:27Mark Normand?

  Look how cute he's got a rubbit.

• 1:20:29Speaker 01

  Did you want those chickens? Because I already ate them.

• 1:20:32Mark Normand?

  Who does he look like, Reagan? I can't put a face on it.

• 1:20:36Speaker 01

  Lyndon Johnson.

• 1:20:36Mark Normand?

  Thank you, that's it, we got there. Alright, so where are you gonna be there, mad dog?

• 1:20:41Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh, well, that's next weekend, Chattanooga, Knoxville.

• 1:20:44Mark Normand?

  You're all over TN.

• 1:20:46Sam Morril?

  Chattanooga, Knoxville.

• 1:20:47Speaker 01

  Leanne Morgan's husband is coming to see me, I'm very excited, I'm his favorite comedian.

• 1:20:51Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:20:52Speaker 01

  Chuck Morgan.

• 1:20:52Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:20:53Speaker 01

  Morgan's husband.

• 1:20:54Mark Normand?

  I love Leanne.

• 1:20:55Speaker 01

  Will you get a picture made with my husband? You're his, you're his favorite comedian, I'm like, really? Because I'm, you know, I'm cussing, I'm not dirty, but I, I cuss and I, you know, I'm, yeah, I wouldn't think I would be in that ballet way, but I, I was very happy that I am. Uh, Huntsville, great city, up and coming, nobody gives it any love.

• 1:21:15Sam Morril?

  They say it's one of the best bang-for-the-buck cities, right?

• 1:21:17Speaker 01

  Love it.

• 1:21:18Sam Morril?

  That and Charlotte, they say.

• 1:21:19Speaker 01

  Charlotte, but Charlotte's almost already gone with the, they've already bought everything.

• 1:21:23Sam Morril?

  Huntsville's got the, the Von Braun exhibit, right?

• 1:21:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, all the NASA shit, the Nazi.

• 1:21:27Speaker 01

  Because all the Nazis went there for NASA.

• 1:21:29Mark Normand?

  That's where we used the village for, for Alaska.

• 1:21:32Sam Morril?

  You can tell it's still kind of a dumb museum because they still have a Papa shot in there, there's like a basketball thing, you're like, alright.

• 1:21:38Speaker 01

  Uh, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, Cleveland.

• 1:21:42Sam Morril?

  Good times.

• 1:21:43Mark Normand?

  Boy, you got quite a run, these are big theaters, good for you.

• 1:21:46Sam Morril?

  Kathleen, great comic, every, dude, seriously, prolific killer.

• 1:21:50Speaker 01

  There's my podcast.

• 1:21:51Mark Normand?

  Madigan's Pub Cast.

• 1:21:53Speaker 01

  I drink and I talk about fringe stories. I don't have any guests, I had one, I had Ron one time and they all hated it. They didn't hate Ron, they just didn't like.

• 1:22:02Sam Morril?

  They have a guest.

• 1:22:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, no thanks.

• 1:22:07Mark Normand?

  Got it.

• 1:22:08Speaker 01

  Or those are supposed to be, I was told by many people, those are supposed to be special episodes.

• 1:22:12Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:22:13Speaker 01

  So you can choose, do you want to listen to Round Light for now? Never thought about that.

• 1:22:18Mark Normand?

  Me neither.

• 1:22:19Speaker 01

  Read the comments, sometimes that helps.

• 1:22:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:22Speaker 01

  Even if they're a little hateful.

• 1:22:22Mark Normand?

  I agree, I agree.

• 1:22:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:24Mark Normand?

  Okay, where am I gonna be?

• 1:22:26Sam Morril?

  Starting the 18th here, or was this 25th, excuse me?

• 1:22:30Mark Normand?

  What, 20 who?

• 1:22:31Sam Morril?

  Here it is.

• 1:22:32Mark Normand?

  Grand Ron, I'm at Oregon, at some casino, Spirit Mountain in New Brunswick, we're back at the Stress Factory, baby, I think that's sold out.

• 1:22:39Sam Morril?

  And I think they're selling Bodega Cat now.

• 1:22:41Mark Normand?

  Yes, San Antonio LOL, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Flagstaff, Arizona, and another casino, Swaharita, Arizona, Indianapolis, and Buffalo, Portland, Maine, and Lexington, Kentucky, Providence, Rhode Island, Dania Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Raleigh, what else you got, Samo?

• 1:23:00Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh.

• 1:23:01Sam Morril?

  I got, I don't know, you gotta pull me up here, when did this come out?

• 1:23:05Mark Normand?

  8th to 28th, 18th.

• 1:23:07Sam Morril?

  Alright, so yeah, I got, oh, uh, yeah, we just added a couple nights, I'm just doing some clubs in Chicago, because I was in the...

• 1:23:15Mark Normand?

  Chicago?

• 1:23:15Sam Morril?

  There, so yeah, Rosemont on the 4th, and we got, I think those are all sold out, and then we got Stanford, Connecticut.

• 1:23:21Mark Normand?

  That's fun.

• 1:23:22Sam Morril?

  And Providence, I think they're, I think they're all sold out, so we'll add a late Thursday in Providence, and then taping a special in Tampa, February 27th.

• 1:23:30Speaker 01

  Oh wow.

• 1:23:30Sam Morril?

  And we just added 26th, so I'm gonna do three shows, but I'm not adding a 4th, so get on that 3rd show, it's at 8:30, there's not even an option to add a 4th. I wanna get it in 3, Tampa Theater, February 26th and 27th, only the 26th is available, so please buy those tickets at punchup.live/samorell/tickets, or just go to my website.

• 1:23:49Mark Normand?

  Get yourself a Blue Tick Coot Hound, and check out Madigan on the road, get some Bodega Cat.

• 1:23:53Sam Morril?

  Bodega Cat, we're now, we're doing, we're making, I just dropped the bottle off at Balabusta on Hudson Street in the Village, so hopefully we get, we, hopefully we get in there. Hopefully we're in at Analog soon, we're in at Bartuzzi Strip House Comedy Store, all over the country too, so please, get on Bodega Cat, Instagram message, Bodega Cat Whiskey.

• 1:24:13Speaker 01

  So you're taping a special. When was the last one you?

• 1:24:16Mark Normand?

  Uh-oh.

• 1:24:16Sam Morril?

  Couple years, so.

• 1:24:18Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 1:24:18Sam Morril?

  Two years.

• 1:24:18Speaker 01

  That's fair.

• 1:24:19Sam Morril?

  That's fair.

• 1:24:20Speaker 01

  That should be fine.

• 1:24:21Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 1:24:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I think it's gonna be good. I think it's gonna be fine.

• 1:24:24Mark Normand?

  It should be fun.

• 1:24:24Sam Morril?

  It'll be a fine special.

• 1:24:26Mark Normand?

  Should be fun.

• 1:24:27Speaker 01

  Like, it's not weird. It's fine.

• 1:24:28Sam Morril?

  No, two years is alright. I feel pretty good.

• 1:24:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I got...

• 1:24:32Sam Morril?

  I think I got some good bits in there.

• 1:24:33Mark Normand?

  There you go. I hope so.

• 1:24:36Speaker 01

  Yeah. Don't close with that same one at Man Hate.

• 1:24:38Mark Normand?

  Ohhh.

• 1:24:40Sam Morril?

  I am. I am.

• 1:24:42Speaker 01

  You're gonna get more hate mail.

• 1:24:42Sam Morril?

  Fuck you, dude. I'm closing on that bit. Eat shit.

• 1:24:47Mark Normand?

  I'm so disappointed.

• 1:24:51Mark Normand?

  Thank you, Kathleen.