Ep 248: Harland Williams

Harland Williams stops by the pod for wild stories about Rocket Man, his new movie Wingman, and hanging with Rodney Dangerfield. Plus, Mark and Sam get surprise drop-ins from Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano, leading to chaos about art heists, shorts season, Anthony Bourdain, and whether you could kill a husband for good sex. Sponsored by: 💸 Support the show and sign up for your one-dollar-per-month Shopify trial https://www.shopify.com/DRUNK 👖 F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with code DRUNK15 https://www.theperfectjean.nyc/DRUNK15 #theperfectjeanpod 🎧 Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD 🛒 Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ 🎬 Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ 🎙️ Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD: https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #HarlandWilliams #StavrosHalkias #ChrisDistefano #RocketMoney #CornbreadHemp #ThePerfectJean #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Mark Normand?

  What do you got here?

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Mountain Dew and hot chocolate. We got Mountain Dew, we got Ready Whip.

• 0:12Mark Normand?

  What are you, Bart Simpson?

• 0:13Speaker 01

  I always want to be ready, and I got Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate.

• 0:17Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Even though it's the middle of the summer, uh, let's keep winter alive.

• 0:21Mark Normand?

  Geez.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  You don't see a lot of gray-haired dudes drinking Mountain Dew still. I respect that.

• 0:25Mark Normand?

  You got the same rider as Kevin Spacey.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. Wait, what?

• 0:29Mark Normand?

  Well, he's got a couple of the little boys around.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Ew, gross.

• 0:34Mark Normand?

  Well, to each his anal.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, Cheryl Channing.

• 0:39Mark Normand?

  That's a different actor. But yeah.

• 0:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. What's going on here? Is this your breakfast?

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's just a little, you know, like to have a, something to drink while I chit chat.

• 0:50Mark Normand?

  All right, hey, no judge.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. I respect it. Yeah, I don't see a lot of Mountain Dew anymore.

• 0:54Mark Normand?

  No, that milkshake is the size of the South Tower.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. I feel like everyone in California is like semi-health-conscious too, so it's nice to see a Mountain Dew.

• 1:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:05Speaker 01

  Delicious. Yeah, remember the old ad, "Yahoo, Mountain Dew"?

• 1:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:11Speaker 01

  I don't remember that. No one says "Yahoo" anymore either.

• 1:13Mark Normand?

  That's true. That was a website or a search engine.

• 1:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, but... Did well.

• 1:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, we stole beer, we'd yell "Yahoo".

• 1:21Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:22Mark Normand?

  "Yahoo! Did you guys do that?"

• 1:23Speaker 01

  "Yahoo"?

• 1:24Mark Normand?

  That must've been a regional thing. We're gonna go pull a "Yahoo", meaning like, everybody grabs a case of beer at the 7-Eleven, and you go "Yahoo", and you all run out together. You can't kill all of you. You never did that?

• 1:34Speaker 01

  But they get one of you.

• 1:35Mark Normand?

  They'll get one. They got my friend Paul. The guy pulled a gun on him.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and we were out of there. Never saw him again. Since.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  Jesus.

• 1:43Mark Normand?

  No, I'm just kidding.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  You've never had Mountain Dew, guys? Of course I have.

• 1:47Mark Normand?

  I love Mountain Dew.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  I like Mountain Dew.

• 1:48Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Is that your soda? Feel like I'm getting a little blowback here.

• 1:51Mark Normand?

  No! No blowback. Kevin Spacey again. But, uh, yeah, enjoy. Can I, I want to taste that frothy delight.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  We've reached out multiple times to have Kevin Spacey on the pod.

• 2:02Mark Normand?

  Love to have you, Kim.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  If his people listen to one episode...

• 2:05Mark Normand?

  I'm a big fan.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  He's sick.

• 2:07Mark Normand?

  It's warm.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's gonna have a sip, and then that's gonna kill us.

• 2:10Mark Normand?

  I don't want to kill your drink.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  I want, no, I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. Go ahead, I'll...

• 2:14Mark Normand?

  You're not gonna drink it.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  I will. Go ahead.

• 2:16Mark Normand?

  You sure?

• 2:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 2:17Mark Normand?

  What if I pour it in my mouth?

• 2:18Speaker 01

  No, that's for Kevin Spacey. These shorts are for Kevin Spacey. What the hell are you wearing here? Showing off the yams here. I'm Kevin Spacey.

• 2:26Mark Normand?

  Sorry, riding up.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, these are riding up. Let's see if Victoria's Secret is out. Holy. I know. Look at these fucking legs.

• 2:33Mark Normand?

  I know. Uncut. That's the secret.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  Just close them. It smells like Cracker Barrel meatloaf.

• 2:39Mark Normand?

  That's chicken fried. That is unbelievable.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  You like it? Have another swig.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  Go for it. I don't mind.

• 2:46Mark Normand?

  What are you? You got laxatives in here? Is there some kind of gag going on? You guys are really smirking.

• 2:52Speaker 01

  You want a swig? Nah, I don't. You don't want what I have.

• 2:55Mark Normand?

  This is unreal.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  Have the rest.

• 2:57Mark Normand?

  No, I can't have that. Patrice, whatever he had. I'll cut my toe off if I drink that thing.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  He said whatever he had.

• 3:05Mark Normand?

  Diabetes. Sorry, I'm off.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  Huge mystery. You do the math there. I thought you meant he had gangrene or something, like he was mountain climbing and had to cut his toe off.

• 3:15Mark Normand?

  They're not all in gangs.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  Well, they're all green.

• 3:20Mark Normand?

  Those dildos on the court are green, I'll tell you that.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  WNBA?

• 3:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  It's a ballsy move.

• 3:25Mark Normand?

  I know. Literally.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:27Mark Normand?

  But.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Going through security with a dildo?

• 3:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  You'd get busted with it. Someone did. Someone got busted, I think.

• 3:34Mark Normand?

  I think some fat kid. The joke is he's the better shooter, because he got it on the court every time.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Wow. They were throwing dildos on the basketball court?

• 3:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the women's basketball. Look at this fat fuck. Jesus.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  Who's this now?

• 3:49Mark Normand?

  He's the guy who threw the dildos on the court.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  Now, is that a guy or a girl? That's a great question. I can't tell anymore. What's going on? This is a boy.

• 3:57Mark Normand?

  I think that's Lena Dunham.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  Is that a guy or a girl? I'm not even joking.

• 4:01Mark Normand?

  That's a guy.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  Can we see the top off shot?

• 4:07Speaker 01

  That is a bad look.

• 4:08Mark Normand?

  That's a bad-looking man right there.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  So that is a man. You're not messing with. It's a boy. He's sixteen.

• 4:14Mark Normand?

  Holy, that's a big boy.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  They also banned backpacks and bags in WNBA games. Some people couldn't bring dildos in.

• 4:22Mark Normand?

  You're getting the dildos in now, eh, Harland?

• 4:24Speaker 01

  How? Strap him on?

• 4:27Mark Normand?

  Smuggling him up the looper.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 4:30Sam Morril?

  You can fit a vibrator in a fanny pack. There's ways around it.

• 4:33Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 4:34Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 4:34Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 4:36Sam Morril?

  I don't know.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  Could you just like, I mean, it would be a little morbid, but could you just chop your real thing off and throw it?

• 4:43Sam Morril?

  You could.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  It's very similar.

• 4:45Sam Morril?

  You're like the Van Gogh of the WMDA?

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Van Gogh.

• 4:48Mark Normand?

  Van Gogh. I think that's what they do in, um, in parts of Africa.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  They do?

• 4:53Mark Normand?

  Well, they cut the ladies, uh, part off, although when you throw it, it doesn't make as much of a splash.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  What the aks?

• 4:59Sam Morril?

  This is getting dark.

• 5:00Mark Normand?

  Alright, alright.

• 5:01Sam Morril?

  This is taking a dark, this is.

• 5:03Mark Normand?

  Get yourself a.

• 5:03Sam Morril?

  What is it, 11 a.m.? This is what we're talking about, clitoral removal here?

• 5:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, I'm on no sleep.

• 5:10Sam Morril?

  I'm on no sleep too, thanks to your fucking little shindig.

• 5:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, super spreader event.

• 5:14Sam Morril?

  Right, I'm sweating through the fucking bed.

• 5:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it got everybody. I think it's getting me right now.

• 5:19Sam Morril?

  Is it? I hope it's getting, I'm, I was pissed, he comes in all fucking cocky to the cellar the other night. I'm sweating bullets. He goes, ah, I always dodge a bullet. I'm like, fuck you!

• 5:29Sam Morril?

  I'm, I was down for the, I was hanging just because he and Veder were there.

• 5:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 5:32Sam Morril?

  But I was, I was not in my best shape.

• 5:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you seem part of the good crowd.

• 5:37Sam Morril?

  They were a good crowd.

• 5:38Mark Normand?

  Good hang, we had a good time. That was great.

• 5:41Sam Morril?

  Man, I watched, because I was sick, I watched the whole Billy Joel doc, you see that?

• 5:45Speaker 01

  Oh, that'll make you sick.

• 5:47Mark Normand?

  You're not a fan of, uh, piano man?

• 5:49Speaker 01

  His eyes are too big. Like, I picture him waking up in the morning and with his big, bulgy eyes rolling down the sidewalk on his eyes.

• 5:58Mark Normand?

  Wow, he's more rolling down the sidewalk in his car into a house.

• 6:01Sam Morril?

  Or a motorcycle. That's how, dude, that's how they came up with Big Shot? That was, it's hilarious.

• 6:05Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:05Sam Morril?

  Well, not Big Shot, uh.

• 6:07Mark Normand?

  Moving out?

• 6:07Sam Morril?

  You might be right.

• 6:08Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 6:09Sam Morril?

  Because he comes home drunk on a motorcycle and his wife's like, you're a lunatic. And he's like, you may be right. I may be crazy.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  Was he riding a motorcycle or a piano? Because I thought he was the piano man. Like, I picture him with a leather jacket on, like, sitting behind a piano stool and a, a woolitzer or whatever it is, and rolling down the highway. Like, at 90 with the wind in his hair and a dragonfly on his big, bulgy Garfield the Cat roly eyes.

• 6:36Mark Normand?

  No, you know he's 5'5".

• 6:38Speaker 01

  He's 55?

• 6:39Mark Normand?

  Wow, I think he's older than that.

• 6:41Sam Morril?

  Harlan, you're not a great listener. Is me? You're not a.

• 6:48Mark Normand?

  So what brings you to the city? Big apple?

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Ah, well, I'm, I'm doing Greg Gutfeld's show tomorrow.

• 6:54Mark Normand?

  Ah, he just did Fallon.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  And then I'm doing, uh, Kill Tony at the, uh, sold out Madison Square Garden on Saturday night. Yeah.

• 7:03Mark Normand?

  Hey, that's a good one.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:06Mark Normand?

  Any, uh, any idea who the big names are gonna be? Cause he usually brings out some kinda jelly roll or, uh,

• 7:12Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 7:13Mark Normand?

  Joey Diaz.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  I don't have clue. I don't have any idea.

• 7:17Mark Normand?

  Alright, alright.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  I was happy to be in New York. By the way, this city, you live here, right?

• 7:22Mark Normand?

  I do.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  I saw an art heist this morning. I was walking over here.

• 7:26Sam Morril?

  By, by the way, you know we live here. You're in our studio.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  You live here?

• 7:30Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 7:30Mark Normand?

  In the studio?

• 7:31Sam Morril?

  No.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  Oh, this is your studios and you live here?

• 7:34Sam Morril?

  Yes, yes.

• 7:35Mark Normand?

  Ew. I jerk off right there.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  P U. You do?

• 7:40Mark Normand?

  Yes, my ready whip. That was me an hour ago.

• 7:46Mark Normand?

  There you go. Oh.

• 7:48Sam Morril?

  Jeez. What is this, a WNBA game? Jesus. It's a real.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  But yeah, I saw an art heist. Uh, I saw a guy running down the street with a Picasso.

• 7:59Mark Normand?

  What?

• 8:00Speaker 01

  I ran after him like, hey, art thief, art thief. And it was, turned out to be a homeless guy with so many stains on his clothes.

• 8:07Mark Normand?

  That's more of a Pollock.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:09Mark Normand?

  Well, it's not add to my joke and wreck it. Alright, sorry.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  Well, you don't have to art me up.

• 8:14Mark Normand?

  I think he got framed.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Whoa, Doctor Dildo Teeth. What did you just do?

• 8:21Sam Morril?

  Jesus Christ.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  You leaned over on me.

• 8:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the joke toppled me.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  Lean back, Claire.

• 8:27Sam Morril?

  I feel like this episode's for, this is like for your son right here.

• 8:30Mark Normand?

  He's not even listening.

• 8:30Sam Morril?

  This is like for a child.

• 8:32Mark Normand?

  We'll play this for special needs kids and see if they get it.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  Well, I just saw you like lean over on me like a tree in the wind.

• 8:40Mark Normand?

  I was happy with the art, the, the framing.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  Who has seen the wind? Neither you nor I, but when the trees bend down their heads, the wind goes rushing by.

• 8:50Mark Normand?

  Woo.

• 8:50Sam Morril?

  That was beautiful.

• 8:51Speaker 01

  W O Mitchell.

• 8:52Sam Morril?

  Thank you.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  And you inspired that, cause you leaned in on me like a willow tree in a hurricane almost.

• 8:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, I like that.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  Right in and then kinda whipped back.

• 9:02Sam Morril?

  Did you like it?

• 9:03Speaker 01

  That was kinda neat.

• 9:04Mark Normand?

  I'll do it again later.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 9:06Mark Normand?

  But I'm not gonna tell you when.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  She said. Hey, there you go. You gonna get up on any comedy shows, any stand-up? I might do one. I don't know anybody in this town, really. Oh, I can hook you up. You could? Yeah, Comedy Cellar, New York Comedy Club. This guy runs like four shows in the city. I'd love to go up tonight. Tony said he might have a thing for me tomorrow, but if there's something tonight, I'd love to. Okay, I bet we can get you to stand. Yeah, okay. Somewhere. Whatever's good. All right, I'll shoot a text over. Oh, thanks, man. All right. Yeah, I don't get to play enough in this city, because I'm not here that much. Do you go up in LA? Yeah, all the time. Oh, where do you go, the Improv? The Improv, the store, the Laugh Factory. I've never seen you there. Every week. What?

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Almost every, anytime I'm in town, I usually do like two or three nights a week. Oh, great. I love it. Oh, yeah, you got some new stuff? Yep, new stuff. I saw this art heist this morning. No, but I've updated it. Oh, all right, let's hear it. Boy, you punch quick. I saw an art heist outside of the Natural History Museum, and I was like, hey, thief, stop, and I caught up to a guy. It was a homeless guy wrapped in the shroud of Turin.

• 10:25Speaker 01

  You're back. Right? Yeah, best punch-up guy in the biz right here. Right, just took, just two minutes ago, it was Picasso. Yeah. But then you pollocked me. I like pollock as a homeless guy, because you get the shit splirts. Right. Yeah. Do you like pollock more in the summer, or in the spring or the fall?

• 10:47Speaker 01

  I guess the fall. Yeah, do you have allergies? No. Okay. But. So pollock doesn't affect you?

• 10:56Speaker 01

  I get it.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  Sorry, I'll shut up. You guys asked the question.

• 11:02Mark Normand?

  No, no.

• 11:03Sam Morril?

  No, this is a...

• 11:04Mark Normand?

  Comedy pod.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  I didn't mean to shut your podcast down.

• 11:07Mark Normand?

  Shutting it down.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  If this is the last one, I want to say sorry.

• 11:10Sam Morril?

  This might be it.

• 11:11Mark Normand?

  This is it.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  I think it is. I feel like it might be the end.

• 11:14Mark Normand?

  If you, if you drink that, you're gonna, you're gonna shut down. This is a lot of sugar here. I'm worried about you.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  Well, I'm just having this.

• 11:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, what about that? Who's that for?

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Well, you put your formelga glites in it, so I'm not touching it after you put yours...

• 11:27Mark Normand?

  I think I'm just tired. I don't think I'm sick. My baby was up all night gambling.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  You have a baby?

• 11:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  How old?

• 11:32Mark Normand?

  Six months.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  Still covered in placenta or clean?

• 11:35Mark Normand?

  I cleaned it and drank it.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  The placenta?

• 11:38Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  Ew, like a shake?

• 11:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:40Sam Morril?

  That's why we all got stick in this party. We were chugging the placenta.

• 11:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Did you eat the umbilical cord?

• 11:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I tried.

• 11:48Sam Morril?

  He garnished, garnished in the drink.

• 11:49Mark Normand?

  There you go. And the foreskin.

• 11:51Speaker 01

  You can use the umbilical cord as a straw to drink the placenta, and then you're getting all the... And if you just eat the whole baby, you'll get all the nutrients you're looking for. You'll really bond with it.

• 12:02Mark Normand?

  That's true. Well, I'm gonna fatten it up and get him big and then kill him.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  Why do you, why do people drink the placenta?

• 12:08Mark Normand?

  It's got nutrients.

• 12:08Sam Morril?

  It makes you strong.

• 12:09Mark Normand?

  Iron and fiber.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  You really did this?

• 12:12Mark Normand?

  No.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  I know a guy that did. He made milk smoothies with his wife.

• 12:16Mark Normand?

  What?

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:18Mark Normand?

  Yuck.

• 12:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is for real.

• 12:20Sam Morril?

  I know, it's hard to tell what's real.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  This is for real, this one.

• 12:23Sam Morril?

  All right.

• 12:24Mark Normand?

  Wow. Well, yeah. I put it in a shake, and I shake the baby. There it is.

• 12:30Speaker 01

  How old's your... Six months, huh?

• 12:32Mark Normand?

  Six months, so yeah.

• 12:34Speaker 01

  Look at that.

• 12:35Mark Normand?

  That looks like a regular smoothie.

• 12:37Sam Morril?

  I mean, it looks good. It looks like a, look at, it looks like a berry smoothie.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  You should have those at Dairy Queen.

• 12:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:41Sam Morril?

  Placenta.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:42Mark Normand?

  Well, they'd be like $800, probably.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  Like a Peanut Buster Baby Parfait or whatever.

• 12:47Mark Normand?

  Are you, are you a peanut in the smoo, peanut butter smoothie guy?

• 12:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah, of course.

• 12:50Mark Normand?

  I love a smoothie.

• 12:51Sam Morril?

  Who doesn't like peanut butter and...

• 12:52Mark Normand?

  Not everybody likes it.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  I don't.

• 12:54Sam Morril?

  So what don't you like about peanut butter?

• 12:56Speaker 01

  Uh, when I was four, my priest molested me while I was eating a peanut butter sandwich.

• 13:01Sam Morril?

  That makes sense, actually. That's a good reason, yeah.

• 13:05Mark Normand?

  Geez.

• 13:06Sam Morril?

  Did he, did he use the peanut butter to molest you, or just while you were eating it?

• 13:09Speaker 01

  Uh, both.

• 13:11Sam Morril?

  Okay.

• 13:12Mark Normand?

  Wow, that's pretty nutty.

• 13:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 13:15Sam Morril?

  That was not the time for a commentary. He got raped, dude.

• 13:18Speaker 01

  Trauma. I didn't, I didn't get arred, I just got.

• 13:22Sam Morril?

  Molested.

• 13:22Speaker 01

  Just got sort of molested.

• 13:24Sam Morril?

  What, what's the difference?

• 13:25Speaker 01

  Well, he, uh, I was eating it.

• 13:29Sam Morril?

  He had a big R in him when he was getting molested.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  I was eating it and some of it dripped down on my inner thigh and he just rubbed right there.

• 13:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, was it smooth or chunky?

• 13:39Speaker 01

  It was smooth, but.

• 13:40Sam Morril?

  The penis.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  And maybe it wasn't a molest, maybe he was just cleaning it off, but I took it as a molest.

• 13:45Mark Normand?

  Well, did he use his tongue?

• 13:47Speaker 01

  No.

• 13:47Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  He used a cloth, like a cloth and there's, everyone was in the room and.

• 13:52Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  But I still took it as a molest.

• 13:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, might as well get it when you can.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, oh.

• 13:58Mark Normand?

  Well, I'm just saying, you know, you can get the victim points if you got molested. You can do a one man show.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 14:04Mark Normand?

  Well, you can use that on Gutfeld.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  Whoa, too soon.

• 14:09Mark Normand?

  He, he just did Fallon, did you see that?

• 14:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, what did you think? Did you like it?

• 14:13Mark Normand?

  I mean, I don't really watch late night anymore because I'm always running around on stage or whatever, but, uh, it was, they were old bar drinking buddies, so they got along really well.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  Oh wow, that's good, I love that.

• 14:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 14:24Sam Morril?

  What's that?

• 14:25Speaker 01

  Oh, here we go.

• 14:26Mark Normand?

  Uh, I see what's going on here.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 14:30Mark Normand?

  I see what's going on here. Real smooth, very smooth.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  What is it?

• 14:35Sam Morril?

  Uh, just the soda.

• 14:37Mark Normand?

  Bottle of beer, soda.

• 14:40Mark Normand?

  Um, how about these tariffs?

• 14:44Speaker 01

  Whoa, what about them?

• 14:46Mark Normand?

  There's a new tariff in town.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  Whoa, I shot the tariff.

• 14:50Mark Normand?

  But not the, not the deputy.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 14:53Sam Morril?

  God damn it!

• 14:55Speaker 01

  Oh wow, man.

• 14:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, that went down the back of the shirt there.

• 15:01Sam Morril?

  Sorry.

• 15:02Speaker 01

  Anger management.

• 15:03Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 15:04Sam Morril?

  Sorry, that tariff joke really got to me.

• 15:06Mark Normand?

  Now, let's say we were gonna do Kill Tony as a panel. You got any tips? Cause you're one of the best panel guys.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  Well, you've done it.

• 15:13Mark Normand?

  I've done it, but you know, just for the people at home.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  Ah, any tips for?

• 15:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, cause you're so good at the panel.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 15:20Mark Normand?

  You get, people try to roast you, you zig 'em back.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 15:24Mark Normand?

  You're always quick with a quip.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  I, I just, I don't know, I just, uh, just have fun. That's my motto.

• 15:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I like that.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, just have fun. I don't know that there's any tips or anything.

• 15:35Mark Normand?

  You ever get nervous up there? I mean, it's a garden. You get the maddest, you got the arena here with the 20,000 people gawking at you.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I thought it would be, I thought I would be nervous, but I'm, I'm not just cause it's, uh, the, the, the people there are so in love with the show and the experience that you're just sort of walking out into a sea of love and admiration and so you feel that energy and so, don't really get nervous by it.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  Are you aware that there's a video with over 3 million views of you destroying someone's career on that panel?

• 16:10Speaker 01

  Oh, did you?

• 16:11Mark Normand?

  I don't know about the career.

• 16:12Speaker 02

  The, the video's saying he destroyed his career.

• 16:15Mark Normand?

  These thumbnails like to really blow it up with the drama.

• 16:17Sam Morril?

  What does that mean? What is, it's someone's first time, isn't it?

• 16:20Speaker 02

  No, it wasn't.

• 16:20Mark Normand?

  No, no, a guy went at him and he went at the guy.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  He went, uh, David Lucas went at you?

• 16:25Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  And then he's supposed to be some like great insult.

• 16:29Mark Normand?

  Well, that's when he's a roast guy.

• 16:29Speaker 02

  A roast guy.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  David Lucas, yeah. I, I didn't know who he was and I, I didn't know much about the show. I went out to do.

• 16:37Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 16:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd never done it. I'd never met Tony.

• 16:40Mark Normand?

  What?

• 16:40Speaker 01

  I'd never watched it. And so I didn't know hardly anything about this show. And then I was out doing Rogan's Club.

• 16:48Mark Normand?

  Uh huh.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  And Tony asked me to do, uh, Kill Tony.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  And so I said, okay, and I went out and this guy David Lucas came out. I didn't have a, I didn't know who anybody was. Sure. Well, who were you on with? I didn't even know Tony. It was the first time I met him. Was this Tony Hawk episode? I guess so. Yeah, yeah. Okay, keep going, sorry. And then this, the comics were coming out and I was like, okay, having fun. And then this guy David Lucas comes out and starts coming at me. Yeah. And I'm like, well, this ain't gonna happen. Whoa! And, you know, you come at me, I'm gonna come back at you. Yeah, why not? So that's what happened.

• 17:29Sam Morril?

  What did you say to him?

• 17:31Speaker 01

  I just, we just, he started making comments, so I just started hitting him back, like roast com. I guess they just, yeah. He's a portly fellow, so I think he started attacking his, uh, figure. Yeah, I just went after everything and the same way he was doing it. Yeah. And then I did it again in LA and he, they brought him out again. I didn't know. And now I knew his shtick, so I said, okay, I'm gonna machine gun this guy. And I just, I just was relentless and I just kept going and going and... It's got millions of views. It does, yeah. I think what's great about you is you don't, you're not nervous because you don't know what the fuck's going on. No. So you have no nerves. You're just, you're just flying off the scene of your dick. Well... Or whatever that is. What is it?

• 18:16Speaker 01

  Dildo. Dildo. Yeah. Dildo baggins. But, uh, yeah, so it just, it just came out of nowhere and it was fun. And I don't harbor any animosity towards the guy, but I was just like, if you're gonna come at me, I'm gonna give it back. That's good. That's entertainment, folks. Yeah, it was fun. Hell, yeah. Well, I'm excited.

• 18:35Sam Morril?

  Was it, was it good afterwards or no?

• 18:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. He came and did my podcast and, yeah. Look at that. I have no, there's no... I didn't know you had blacks on. Wait, what?

• 18:48Speaker 01

  I, uh, yeah, it's just a good time for me. I didn't, uh, no, no sour grapes.

• 18:54Mark Normand?

  No.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:55Mark Normand?

  All right, great.

• 18:55Sam Morril?

  Just, uh, just sugar-covered grapes for him.

• 18:58Speaker 01

  Sugar-covered grapes, raisin bread, whatever, yeah.

• 19:01Mark Normand?

  Grape soda, yeah. Yeah, I get it.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  Why, now, why did you smash the bottle? What were you so angry about?

• 19:06Sam Morril?

  I don't know, he just handed me the bottle. I felt I had to use it.

• 19:09Mark Normand?

  I like.

• 19:10Sam Morril?

  I panicked. I fucking freaked out.

• 19:12Mark Normand?

  Well, it's, that's an avant-garde show. Anything can happen.

• 19:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  Wild.

• 19:16Sam Morril?

  Did he not like it?

• 19:17Speaker 01

  I loved it. I just, I just wondered where the, the emo- sudden emotional outburst came from.

• 19:22Sam Morril?

  I was, I didn't want it to be discovered that it was a, did you know it was a sugar bottle? Damn it. All right. I figured he knew, so I was like, let me just toss it.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  It was a prop bottle, obviously. They call it, uh, glass candy.

• 19:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, breakaway glass.

• 19:36Sam Morril?

  It tastes good.

• 19:37Mark Normand?

  No, no, I just tasted it.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Doesn't taste good.

• 19:39Mark Normand?

  What is it? What is this bottle? It's not sugar anymore? Oh, it's resin.

• 19:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, this.

• 19:44Mark Normand?

  Well, you try one.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  Hollywood prop, yeah.

• 19:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah, dude. This show's fucking Hollywood.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  The only thing you ought to be careful is not to get any in your eyes. That, that's a.

• 19:54Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Potential hazard.

• 19:56Mark Normand?

  I had a real egg on my head last time. He, he got me good on the top.

• 20:00Sam Morril?

  Hmm.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 20:01Mark Normand?

  I had just like a cartoon bump.

• 20:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  Oh, he hit you over the head with it?

• 20:06Mark Normand?

  We hit each other.

• 20:07Sam Morril?

  He was passed out. Then I stuck a bottle up his ass while he was passed out.

• 20:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 20:11Sam Morril?

  It was fucking weird.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, oh, jeez.

• 20:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  Yikeses.

• 20:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But hey, you know, it's part of doing business.

• 20:20Sam Morril?

  It's fun. It's funny.

• 20:21Mark Normand?

  We're having fun.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  My gosh.

• 20:22Sam Morril?

  Funny gag, dude.

• 20:23Mark Normand?

  Hey, how's your movie doing?

• 20:25Speaker 01

  Oh, Wingman?

• 20:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  Thanks for asking. It's, uh, we're getting real close to, uh, real close to, uh, getting distribution and I think, uh, I think, uh, October, November, it's, we should have it out.

• 20:38Mark Normand?

  Oh, my lord.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  And we're also gonna do one of those pages like Shia LaBeouf just did it where you can, you can put your movie on a page and just go there and, and download it for like 10 bucks.

• 20:50Mark Normand?

  Like it, I like it.

• 20:51Speaker 01

  Versus having to, you know, join a, a whole subscription service or join Netflix and.

• 20:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  And, uh, so we're gonna do that too. And once it's up there, I'll let you know where you can see it and.

• 21:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, boy. I can't wait.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  Excited, yeah.

• 21:04Sam Morril?

  That's a cool move.

• 21:05Speaker 01

  Thank you. We're excited, yeah.

• 21:06Sam Morril?

  We got a call today about. Potential financier for a movie we're making, so we're trying to.

• 21:11Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 21:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we're trying to. We wrote one.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 21:14Sam Morril?

  Right now, he said it's a little long, and he's not wrong.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  How many pages?

• 21:18Sam Morril?

  A hundred and twenty. We overwrote it, for sure.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  You had it down to ninety-five.

• 21:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we will. We will. I mean, that's.

• 21:23Mark Normand?

  That much.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Ninety-five pages.

• 21:25Sam Morril?

  That's an hour and a half, right?

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:27Mark Normand?

  I guess so.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  And even though you're gonna shoot ninety-five, my Wingman was ninety-five pages, and the final full edit was two hours and twenty minutes.

• 21:35Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  So, because you gotta remember, you know, if someone says, hey, I'm going to the car.

• 21:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  Well, that's, that's a line in the script, and they say each page is a minute. But then, if you decide to show the guy walk into the car and getting in.

• 21:50Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  He does something on the way, picks up like.

• 21:52Sam Morril?

  So you did, you made a comedy that's two hours and twenty minutes?

• 21:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I cut it down to one forty.

• 21:58Sam Morril?

  Oh, okay, good.

• 21:58Speaker 01

  So the final product will be one forty, and, and it's, that's why I'm saying, go out of the gate short, because then you don't have the pain of cutting all this extra stuff. And I'm assuming nowadays, like, you know, we shot Rocketman back in the nineties.

• 22:14Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:15Speaker 01

  We shot it in over three months.

• 22:17Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  And we shot Wingman in two weeks.

• 22:20Mark Normand?

  Holy hell.

• 22:21Sam Morril?

  Why do you think that is?

• 22:22Speaker 01

  Because that's the, that's the way everything is now. Even big productions, studio productions, Netflix, they, it's, it's wild if you shoot a movie over thirty days, like most places.

• 22:33Sam Morril?

  What are you doing for those three, over three months when you're shooting a movie? Because Rocketman's a short movie, isn't it? It's like an hour.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  It's a standard movie, but it was, we were shooting a page, a page and a half a day.

• 22:43Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  On Wingman, we were shooting upwards of nine to twelve pages a day.

• 22:48Mark Normand?

  Well, that's the name of the game now.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  It's insane.

• 22:50Mark Normand?

  Back then, you had a craft service queef, you had to do like all these overtime laws. Oh, we gotta stop production. Oh, we went too long on lunch. We gotta shave a day, whatever.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  It's not that, really. It's just that they had the money, and movies were more of an investment, and there was a limited amount of studios.

• 23:06Mark Normand?

  Got it.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  So when you made a big movie, it got a lot more play, because it's kinda like when we only had the three TV networks.

• 23:15Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 23:15Speaker 01

  It was like, this is where you have to go to see things. But now. The spectrum is so vast to see material. That production companies and producers are cranking stuff out almost overnight.

• 23:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  And they can't afford it to do it any other way. So, yeah, we shot Wingman in 15 days, for god's sake.

• 23:34Sam Morril?

  That's awesome, though.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  We were doing some, a lot of movies you do maybe one location a day, maybe two. We were doing up to four locations a day. Full, full moves.

• 23:45Mark Normand?

  Jesus Christ.

• 23:45Speaker 01

  Nonstop. It was insane.

• 23:48Mark Normand?

  Boy, it must be nice to be done.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  It's, it's, it's nice to be done, but when you're in it, it's sort of like, if you're passionate about it, if you, if you believe in the project and you're passionate about the material, it's almost like a fever dream. Like, you're just in it. It's like you're on a, you're in a marathon and you're running and, and your, your heart's going and everything is like fluid.

• 24:11Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  It's, it's a beautiful thing. You're exhausted at the end of the day, but.

• 24:16Sam Morril?

  Was there one particular day where you were like, fuck yes? Where like, we really got something cool here?

• 24:20Speaker 01

  You know, because I directed it, I wrote it, and I starred in it as the lead, I didn't have time to think about anything.

• 24:28Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  So we, it was just, it was just, I got there and it was nonstop. And at the end of the day, I'd go, why do my feet hurt?

• 24:36Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  I realized I didn't sit down all day. Because if I'm not directing or acting, I'm directing.

• 24:44Sam Morril?

  I thought it was the amount to do.

• 24:46Speaker 01

  The amount dude kept me going.

• 24:47Mark Normand?

  That's why I was gonna get sliced off. But, that's so cool, but let me ask you. You're, you're barreling through this movie, four locations a day, shoot, shoot, shoot.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:57Mark Normand?

  What happens if you fuck something up? You gotta reshoot. You gotta do pickups. Is that included in the 15 days?

• 25:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, we had one, we had one day where we had to go back to another location because we didn't get everything we needed.

• 25:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  And luckily, we were able to, like, scooch it in. But it was a nightmare. It costs a lot of money every time you go back and rent a location.

• 25:18Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  So, but luckily, we got it. And, and even after going back, we still didn't get everything I needed. So then you get into the editing bay and you go, okay, I've got 70%

• 25:30Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  of what was on the page. Now you gotta get creative with the cutting and the editing and hope that you can assemble a scene.

• 25:38Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 25:38Speaker 01

  But if you had had, you know, a day for each scene or a day for each page, you could, you could get everything you need. So.

• 25:46Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you guys.

• 25:47Sam Morril?

  You cut 40 minutes though. So, I mean, you must've cut a few scenes.

• 25:51Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I cut scenes that I didn't want to cut.

• 25:53Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 25:54Speaker 01

  Like elaborate scenes. Like I cut some scenes that were like really complicated and elaborate and, and funny.

• 26:01Mark Normand?

  That sucks.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  You just, it's like you have to, you know?

• 26:04Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 26:05Speaker 01

  It's brutal.

• 26:06Mark Normand?

  That is brutal.

• 26:07Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying. If you guys are gonna do a movie, shorten it so, so you know what you're getting.

• 26:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  And you don't have to go through the pain. You're still gonna have to cut a whole bunch.

• 26:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's all right.

• 26:17Mark Normand?

  We got some great jokes in there. You don't want to lose them.

• 26:19Sam Morril?

  I know, but you do. You lose. You have to.

• 26:21Speaker 01

  I cut tons of jokes.

• 26:22Sam Morril?

  Think about how many jokes don't make you special though, dude.

• 26:25Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. So if, if you, if you try and, you know, compact everything at the beginning, it's less painful surgery at the end.

• 26:34Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  So, piece of advice.

• 26:37Mark Normand?

  Now, it's nice that we, you can shoot quick. Like we've gotten to a point, Rocket Man took, what, two months, you said?

• 26:42Speaker 01

  Three months.

• 26:43Mark Normand?

  Three months. This took 15 days.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:45Mark Normand?

  Wouldn't it be nice if we condensed the producing time? All the meetings, the phone calls, the zooms? That's the part that stinks.

• 26:52Sam Morril?

  We have a lot of cooks in the kitchen on this one.

• 26:55Mark Normand?

  Yes, it takes forever.

• 26:56Sam Morril?

  This is not normal, how many people we have involved in this.

• 26:59Speaker 01

  Why do you have so many?

• 27:00Speaker 04

  What's up pussies?

• 27:01Sam Morril?

  Oh shit, who the hell is this?

• 27:05Sam Morril?

  Oh shit.

• 27:07Speaker 04

  Just here for a second.

• 27:08Mark Normand?

  Look at this.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  What's up my guy?

• 27:10Speaker 04

  What's up baby?

• 27:11Mark Normand?

  Look at this, what's up? Hey! What's up?

• 27:17Mark Normand?

  Looks like a before and after photo, but I hit the gym.

• 27:19Sam Morril?

  Wow, look at this.

• 27:20Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 27:21Sam Morril?

  Look at this.

• 27:22Mark Normand?

  Hell yeah.

• 27:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're not staying. We just need to kind of derail.

• 27:24Mark Normand?

  It was want to. Doral.

• 27:28Mark Normand?

  You're the dildo of the WNBA court. Coming right in.

• 27:31Speaker 04

  That's it, man. Now the show's gone, gone down to La Croix's. Used to be drinking whiskey.

• 27:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 27:36Sam Morril?

  Someone gave us neurovirus at his fucking barbecue.

• 27:38Speaker 04

  Oh, are you guys still sick?

• 27:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  Oh, great. Thanks for having us come in. He's not inviting us to the barbecue.

• 27:46Sam Morril?

  No, you should, you should be thankful for that.

• 27:48Speaker 04

  I know. I saw it from my hotel room in Tulsa.

• 27:53Speaker 04

  You do look thinner, Mark. Oh, thank you, thank you. I mean, you were never fat, but yeah. Yeah, thanks.

• 27:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, the thighs are looking nice, dude.

• 28:01Sam Morril?

  Look at this, this is weird.

• 28:03Speaker 04

  You're not usually a shorts guy, are you? No, it's just so fucking hot.

• 28:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, for respect, dude.

• 28:08Speaker 04

  Harland.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  How are you?

• 28:10Speaker 04

  Last time I saw you, we were alone in your bedroom.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  Whoa, easy guy.

• 28:15Speaker 04

  Come on, tell them the truth.

• 28:16Speaker 01

  Well, my studio, my studio.

• 28:19Speaker 04

  Which is in your bedroom.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Well, okay, yeah.

• 28:22Speaker 04

  That's a great house out there, huh? Oh my god, amazing, yeah. That view is unreal. Yeah, absolutely.

• 28:26Speaker 05

  That Rocket Man money, dude.

• 28:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude. He's got that, yeah, me, myself and Irene money. Dumb and Dumber.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, me, myself and Irene.

• 28:35Speaker 04

  You were in also me, myself and Irene too.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 28:39Speaker 04

  They all blend together, those Jim Carrey movies. No, it's the one where you, where you. Dumb and Dumber was just the guy. I love Serial Kill, you know, Seven Minutes.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  Something About Mary, yeah.

• 28:51Speaker 04

  Yes, totally different movie.

• 28:54Sam Morril?

  Good character, Meathead Access Hollywood guy. He's like, you were in fucking 90210, right?

• 29:01Speaker 01

  I saw an art heist this morning on the way over.

• 29:06Speaker 04

  He's a pre-written bit he's done six times.

• 29:08Sam Morril?

  Six times.

• 29:10Speaker 04

  Tell us where we're about. Dude, anyway, we gotta go.

• 29:17Sam Morril?

  Wait, no, Harland, start it one more time, did I?

• 29:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, go on. Dude, the funny, I've told, I think I said this on your pod the last time, but the funniest, something that I actually go to and like laugh at when I'm feeling bad, like when I need a pick-me-up as a comedian, I watch when you and Andrew Santino, that clip when you hit, they hit him with, kept hitting him with lotion, the lotion, why did you instantly feel better? Harland blowing lotion, I'm sorry, Santino blowing lotion all over Harland's face. It's amazing.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  Give you a hand lotion.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  Oh dude, and I sat in that seat.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I just randomly had it there and that came out of nowhere. That was bizarre. Yeah.

• 29:54Sam Morril?

  By the way, Stavi in the Bourdain movie, dude.

• 29:57Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Salute. Mazel tov.

• 30:00Sam Morril?

  Eight twenty-four, Stavi's in the new Anthony Bourdain movie.

• 30:04Speaker 05

  I hope he ends up like him.

• 30:07Speaker 05

  I play him in flashbacks in kindergarten. I play young Bourdain.

• 30:15Sam Morril?

  That's a great promo shot.

• 30:16Speaker 05

  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

• 30:18Speaker 04

  Stavi's a hell of an actor. Good actor.

• 30:20Speaker 05

  I'm okay.

• 30:21Speaker 04

  Boy, so he does it all.

• 30:22Speaker 05

  I do it all.

• 30:23Speaker 04

  We're eating tiramisu with our hands out in the lobby.

• 30:25Speaker 05

  That's right.

• 30:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's right.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  Bourdain was the chef, right?

• 30:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, heroin addict.

• 30:29Sam Morril?

  You know who Anthony Bourdain is.

• 30:31Speaker 04

  No, he doesn't. Harland doesn't. He's Canadian, dude. Yeah, yeah, with the drugs.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  To Thailand and stuff, tattoos.

• 30:38Speaker 04

  He was the one, yeah, he used to go bam. Yeah.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, that guy.

• 30:42Speaker 04

  Right, yeah, Poligassi, right. Yeah, he's Paula Deen. There you go. Yeah, dude. He only got famous at forty-three years old. Is that right? That's what, yeah.

• 30:50Sam Morril?

  The book is great, the Kitchen Confidential book.

• 30:53Speaker 04

  If you watch the documentary Road Runner, I watch it on planes a lot, he says like when he was forty-three, he was like, I thought, like six months before he got famous, wrote Kitchen Confidential, he was like, oh, I thought the best years of my life had happened already. I was forty-two, about to be forty-two. I thought all the fun I was ever gonna have in my life had happened, because I was already in my early forties, but he was like, I didn't realize my life was just about to begin. And it was a happy ending.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 31:15Speaker 04

  That's it. Covered, come.

• 31:17Speaker 05

  You've got the job, Mark.

• 31:18Speaker 04

  Oh, sorry, sorry.

• 31:19Sam Morril?

  I saw him in a Knicks game once, and I watched Larry Johnson, the basketball player, go, oh my god, that's Anthony Bourdain. It's just crazy to see an NBA player starstruck, but it was like he had that.

• 31:29Speaker 04

  Bourdain is awesome. He was one of the best guys ever.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  What do you play in the movie, if you don't mind me asking?

• 31:34Speaker 05

  Bourdain.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  Young Bourdain?

• 31:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, about seven years old, a big lollipop, I got a big heavy wig.

• 31:41Speaker 04

  Little red balloon.

• 31:42Speaker 05

  In a sailor suit.

• 31:43Speaker 04

  There's Stavros's influence.

• 31:49Speaker 04

  He was tall, right? Was he 6'5"? Big jujitsu guy. Yes. Took up jujitsu later in life, like in his late 40s.

• 31:56Sam Morril?

  He was in Me, Myself and Irene as well.

• 31:59Speaker 04

  Seven minute act.

• 31:59Sam Morril?

  Very good.

• 32:01Speaker 04

  Look at Ben Stiller hailing Hitler. Huh? Oh shit. That's a bad high. See, I knew he was one of us.

• 32:08Sam Morril?

  That's one the Republicans are using when Elon got that. They're like, Ben Stiller, Ben Stiller did it, look.

• 32:17Speaker 04

  Crazy high from a jujitsu. I mean, that's wild, right? Yeah.

• 32:19Speaker 05

  That is actually, that's a tough one to even out of context.

• 32:23Sam Morril?

  It's not.

• 32:23Speaker 05

  It's a tough one, yeah.

• 32:24Speaker 04

  Because there's no reason to have the hand open like that.

• 32:26Sam Morril?

  That's from Along Came Polly. She's like, you never take any risks. Stick hell in the game.

• 32:32Speaker 04

  Hank Azaria's on the side like, who Ben?

• 32:35Speaker 04

  Weird thing to do Along Came Polly to Elon there.

• 32:37Speaker 05

  No, no, Hank Azaria was ripped in that movie.

• 32:39Sam Morril?

  Dude, he's always ripped.

• 32:41Speaker 04

  I appreciate.

• 32:41Sam Morril?

  We tried to get him on this pod and he will not come on.

• 32:44Speaker 04

  Who? Because of the title.

• 32:45Sam Morril?

  Because of the title.

• 32:46Speaker 04

  Who won't come on?

• 32:47Sam Morril?

  Hank Azaria. His sobriety is like a big part of who he is. We're like, you don't have to drink.

• 32:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they're drinking La Croix.

• 32:54Speaker 05

  I love how you guys believe that's why he won't come on.

• 32:58Speaker 05

  He's like, ah, yeah, the title.

• 33:01Sam Morril?

  It's the same reason Robert De Niro won't come on. He's like, what the fuck?

• 33:06Speaker 05

  Oh, fuck. All right, well, listen, we have to, fuck it, we're substituting Two Bears One Cave. We got it.

• 33:11Speaker 04

  Oh, nice.

• 33:12Sam Morril?

  Good to see you guys.

• 33:13Speaker 05

  We're on our break. We have to go back to our summer job.

• 33:15Speaker 04

  Yeah. We're on that show into the. Even better than Bert and Tom have. Yeah, right? Trying to ruin it. We did a pretty, I think this, these last two episodes are gonna do it, so. The very last episode we're doing, we're gonna talk exclusively about comedy and the vaccine, and that should really.

• 33:33Speaker 04

  If you do a high pitched laugh for no reason, you shit on poor people.

• 33:39Sam Morril?

  Stavros becomes a bleeding alcoholic on air.

• 33:41Speaker 06

  I could, I could. I have my own vices. You know, since we're here, London, September 7th.

• 33:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, there you go.

• 33:48Speaker 06

  I have a second show, gotta sell that one.

• 33:49Sam Morril?

  Oh, hell yeah, dude.

• 33:50Speaker 06

  Yeah, we're at the Shepherds Bush Empire or something.

• 33:53Sam Morril?

  Oh, I'm doing that in October. Yeah, it's a good one.

• 33:55Speaker 06

  That's a good show.

• 33:56Sam Morril?

  It's a good one.

• 33:57Speaker 06

  London.

• 33:58Mark Normand?

  London, Connecticut.

• 33:59Speaker 06

  London, Ontario.

• 34:00Speaker 04

  London, Ontario. And then I'll be Chicago, September 5th, and then September 11th, Theater at MSG, and then September 27th, Saudi Arabia with...

• 34:08Speaker 06

  Oh, you fucking, you fucking pieces of shit. You're all fucking pieces of shit.

• 34:13Speaker 04

  We're in a stone sand.

• 34:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 34:16Sam Morril?

  Oh, come on. Jessica Carson's getting it first. What the hell?

• 34:19Mark Normand?

  She's not leaving, I'll tell you that.

• 34:20Speaker 06

  Oh, fuck.

• 34:21Mark Normand?

  It's gonna be hard to do crowd work with a burka.

• 34:23Speaker 06

  Everyone doing your, all the people cleaning your sheets are just Filipino slaves.

• 34:27Speaker 04

  They're doing it too, right?

• 34:29Sam Morril?

  I am.

• 34:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

• 34:31Sam Morril?

  October 8th. I figured the 7th would have been important, so I'm doing the 8th.

• 34:37Speaker 06

  What?

• 34:38Speaker 04

  Jesus, it takes place on October 7th. You guys are in Riyadh on October 7th.

• 34:45Mark Normand?

  I didn't realize that.

• 34:46Sam Morril?

  I'm on the 8th. I'm there on the 8th.

• 34:48Speaker 06

  What's going on on the 7th? You're gonna be doing remembrance posts from Saudi Arabia?

• 34:56Speaker 06

  Yeah, from Saudi Arabian airspace?

• 34:58Sam Morril?

  Sal, you're...

• 34:59Speaker 06

  Hold on, hold on. You need to scratch your foot.

• 35:06Speaker 06

  Alright, that'll do it for us. Alright, ladies, Sal, use your Jessica candy corn.

• 35:10Mark Normand?

  From the river to the sea, I'll see you. River to the sea later. There you go. See ya. Yeah, yeah.

• 35:18Mark Normand?

  Okay. Wow, what a trip. Nice popping.

• 35:20Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 35:21Mark Normand?

  Good to see you, boys.

• 35:22Sam Morril?

  Ball of energy.

• 35:23Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 35:24Sam Morril?

  Love that.

• 35:25Mark Normand?

  Stavros is an anti-fat-er.

• 35:27Sam Morril?

  Is he?

• 35:28Mark Normand?

  No. Alright.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  River to the sea later was very good, Mark.

• 35:31Speaker 06

  Thanks.

• 35:31Sam Morril?

  We were talking about the movie, that's what it was.

• 35:33Mark Normand?

  Let me hear about your movie. What's your movie about, can you say? Yeah, what can we say?

• 35:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, the brief thing is we're liquor salesmen, because we have our liquor and we're struggling with the business, basically. It's loosely based on what we're going through here, but we're not comedians in it. We're just liquor salesmen.

• 35:50Mark Normand?

  So what's the hook? What's the objective? Well, the new generation doesn't drink. They all vape and, you know, are queefs. Okay. So we're like a couple of old-school douches who try to come back in there and... Uh, sell some liquor and it's not going great. He meets a lady and uh, we gotta figure out how to finagle the business and get back on our feet. There's a lot, a lot of layers.

• 36:11Sam Morril?

  We're not, we're not good at pitching. The script is good. It's a good script, yeah.

• 36:14Mark Normand?

  It's really a joke bag. It's a vehicle for the humor.

• 36:18Speaker 01

  And it shoots in New York?

• 36:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and we got all, we got Stavros, Atel, we want Colin Quinn. We got some ideas.

• 36:24Speaker 01

  You got your locations?

• 36:25Mark Normand?

  No.

• 36:26Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:27Mark Normand?

  We're gonna sell it first.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  Does a lot of it take place like in the liquor store? Or?

• 36:32Sam Morril?

  Uh.

• 36:32Mark Normand?

  In a bar?

• 36:33Sam Morril?

  A lot of it's in a bar, yeah.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Oh, so you're selling liquor in the bar, not a liquor store?

• 36:37Sam Morril?

  Well, we're trying to get the liquor in the bars.

• 36:40Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 36:40Sam Morril?

  And we're doing it ourselves. We don't have a distribution or anything, so it's.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we're kinda, I don't know.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  So you haven't sold the movie yet?

• 36:48Sam Morril?

  No.

• 36:48Mark Normand?

  No, but we're meeting today with a financier who looks promising.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  Oh, good. How, what's your budget?

• 36:54Mark Normand?

  I don't know, three, five mil?

• 36:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:57Mark Normand?

  Three to five.

• 36:58Speaker 01

  And you wanna shoot in New York?

• 37:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 37:01Sam Morril?

  But hey, if it's like Hoboken, that's great too. It's a shit.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  Well, you, you, you learn to make good with what you got. Like, Wingman technically takes place in New York, sort of in the outer, like, not in Manhattan, but like out on the, I don't know New York that well, so.

• 37:17Sam Morril?

  Mark and I are in Somalia. We're like, man, the city is kicking, man.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  Like Yonkers or I don't know.

• 37:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we can do all that.

• 37:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 37:24Speaker 01

  But Wingman's New York, but we shot in a small little like mining town in Ontario.

• 37:29Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Up by Green Bay.

• 37:31Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Across the lake.

• 37:32Sam Morril?

  But it worked.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  And it works, you know, so you sorta miraculously you find what you need, like.

• 37:38Mark Normand?

  You finagle.

• 37:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, you just, you just, a big part of it is learning to be able to adjust and adjust on the fly and don't get married like to something, like just learn how to adapt quickly and, and move along and it helps.

• 37:53Mark Normand?

  Jeez, okay, okay.

• 37:56Speaker 01

  Cause sometimes your ego or your, your work, you can go, well, I wrote it that it takes place in a grandiose glass ballroom. Well, we don't have that and if we do have that, it costs $4,000 a night. So then you have to, you have to learn to adjust on the fly and go, well, what, what, how can I make this work and still make it feel and look, so.

• 38:17Mark Normand?

  Can I ask what you spent?

• 38:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it was just over two, two million.

• 38:21Mark Normand?

  Wow, that's cheap.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:24Mark Normand?

  Now, what if we kind of, uh...

• 38:26Sam Morril?

  Did you use your own money, if you mind me asking?

• 38:28Speaker 01

  No, we, we got, part of it was grants from the Canadian government and then the rest was private investors. So I'd say half and half, yeah.

• 38:37Sam Morril?

  That's amazing, man.

• 38:38Mark Normand?

  What if we kind of ride dirty a little bit and don't get, uh, you know, we just shoot and run and gun?

• 38:44Speaker 01

  No permits?

• 38:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  Uh, I don't know the legalities of that, but you could get in trouble, especially if there's an accident. Like if there's, someone get, remember the kid on the train tracks in that one movie? A train came and they didn't have permits and...

• 38:59Mark Normand?

  What movie is that?

• 39:00Speaker 01

  This happened a few years back, but it was, uh, I think Jeff Daniels was in it or somebody, but there was an indie movie where they were shooting on a train track and they didn't have permits and the girl got caught and hit by the train. So if there's an accident and you don't have permits, that could be a big liability. So I would just, yeah.

• 39:20Mark Normand?

  According to Alec Baldwin, accidents never happen on a movie.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  Right, but, so, it sucks, but...

• 39:25Mark Normand?

  Different kind of shoot.

• 39:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can, you can go, I'm not saying don't do it, but just remember there's, could be ramifications, that's all.

• 39:32Mark Normand?

  Okay, okay, well, we got no trains, we got no guns.

• 39:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I don't think there's any guns in the movie.

• 39:37Mark Normand?

  No, just boozing and partying and jokes.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  Like just, you know, sometimes you just gotta go for it.

• 39:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's like an old school comedy, I think it's, it's pretty fun.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 39:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  It sounds like it leans on the writing, like the comedy writing a lot.

• 39:52Sam Morril?

  It's a great, for sure, yeah.

• 39:54Mark Normand?

  Naked Gun, no one remembers the plot of the heist or whatever.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:00Mark Normand?

  You know, it's, I mean, sure, it's the baseball game or whatever, but it's just a joke.

• 40:04Sam Morril?

  You remember the jokes, I think you remember, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's what got us into this stuff, is movies like that.

• 40:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  That's exciting.

• 40:11Mark Normand?

  Well, we're gonna have a sequel about an art heist.

• 40:13Speaker 01

  Wow, full circle. All art.

• 40:21Mark Normand?

  Boy, those guys came in, I feel like I got diddled. They just came in and put a finger up my ass.

• 40:26Sam Morril?

  Chris with his mic in the backwards cap.

• 40:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah. They really, October 7th, in there, they came in and left.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  Tsunami, yeah, just a little hour slammed.

• 40:36Mark Normand?

  Tsunami, that's what got Gilbert fired.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  It was?

• 40:39Sam Morril?

  Aflac.

• 40:39Mark Normand?

  Aflac.

• 40:41Sam Morril?

  He lost the Affleck job. What was it?

• 40:43Speaker 01

  Why?

• 40:44Sam Morril?

  He made a tsunami joke, right?

• 40:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, what was the joke? Pull that up, buddy, if you can. But yeah, that was one of the early.

• 40:51Sam Morril?

  Were you pals with Gilbert?

• 40:52Speaker 01

  The irony is the ducks can swim.

• 40:55Mark Normand?

  That's true. But Filipinos can't.

• 40:58Speaker 01

  I knew him a little bit. I did one movie with him. We did Rodney's final movie, Back by Midnight.

• 41:05Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  I was in that and Gilbert was in it.

• 41:08Sam Morril?

  How was Rodney?

• 41:09Speaker 01

  Rodney was great, but he was in sort of the final throes. You could tell. He was, he was, he was, he was excited and working hard. But you could tell he was, he was sort of.

• 41:23Mark Normand?

  Kind of fading.

• 41:24Speaker 01

  His health was fading a little.

• 41:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  That, that light, that, that spark, even though inside it was there, you could just see age was catching up to him. So that was a bit tough to see, but he, he was, I loved him. He was great.

• 41:38Mark Normand?

  He's a brilliant comedian.

• 41:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:40Mark Normand?

  Was he doing bathrobe, no underwear? Was it that, that period?

• 41:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean.

• 41:46Mark Normand?

  Smoking weed?

• 41:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would go to his place and he would have a. We'd just sit in his living.

• 41:54Mark Normand?

  Rodney's house?

• 41:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:55Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 41:56Speaker 01

  He really liked me after that movie. He became, after I did Back by Midnight, he became really, we became pretty close. He just loved me in the movie and so he'd have me over and.

• 42:08Sam Morril?

  Honestly, I've never even heard of the movie. That's crazy.

• 42:10Speaker 01

  It was kind of a straight to DVD type of deal, but there was a lot of comedians in it. I think Joey Diaz was in it.

• 42:18Mark Normand?

  Jeez.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  I think he was in it and, and I'd go to Rodney's place and he had a pill bottle.

• 42:27Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  With the thinnest little joint you've ever seen.

• 42:30Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  We'd sit there and talk for hours and he'd finish one and light the next one on the roach.

• 42:37Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Like he would chain smoke the.

• 42:38Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 42:39Speaker 01

  And he just said it helped him. He said he suffered from depression sometimes and he, and he said it just helped him. And yeah, I think he was wearing that, that robe.

• 42:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 42:49Sam Morril?

  But he was nice to you.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  Oh, he was really nice. He asked me to write Caddyshack 3.

• 42:53Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 42:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. I couldn't believe it. Yeah. He literally asked me to do it and it was, it was very bittersweet because I, I was like, wow, I'd love to, but I, like I said, not to be morbid, but you could tell he was sort of, he'd already had some pretty bad health issues and so, but it was amazing because he just, yeah, and he, he just, he would sit there and just show me project after, he goes, I'm doing this, and I'm, I got a thing I'm doing in Vegas, and I got this movie, and like, he just, and it was, it was sort of incredible to see that his creative spirit just was non-stop, yeah.

• 43:30Mark Normand?

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• 43:40Sam Morril?

  Gonna make that bigger.

• 43:41Mark Normand?

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• 44:23Mark Normand?

  at Shopify slash drunk. Go to Shopify.com slash drunk. Shopify.com slash drunk. Cha-ching.

• 44:33Sam Morril?

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• 44:54Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 44:55Sam Morril?

  When, when you're wearing the wrong shape, you're just like, what the hell is this? What, what are we doing?

• 44:59Mark Normand?

  And then pants are like, we're in the skinny, we're in the baggy now. You gotta keep up, so just send us what, what's good. These are great jeans. I love their tech.

• 45:06Sam Morril?

  They look awesome. I can't wait to try him. You need to dress it up a little more, throw on a pair of the Denkhakis. They've got everything you already love about jeans, but in a chino-style fabric. That's kinda like what I'm wearing right now here. So, they're a little more polished while keeping all the comfort. It's finally time to stop crushing your balls in uncomfortable jeans by going to theperfectjean.nyc. We might be drunk fans. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping, free returns, and free exchanges with code DRUNK15 at checkout. That's 15% off for new customers at theperfectjean.nyc with promo code DRUNK15. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about him. Support the show, tell them we sent you.

• 45:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah!

• 45:49Sam Morril?

  Fuck your khakis, get the perfect jean.

• 45:51Mark Normand?

  Hell yeah. Yeah, he was one of the best. One of the greats.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. One of the funniest. His wife Joan was wonderful, just a beautiful, wonderful woman, yeah.

• 46:01Sam Morril?

  I talked to her once on the phone, cuz I was driving with Whitney. I'd just done her podcast and she was just driving me to a spot. And she's like, "Do you wanna talk to Rodney's wife?" And I was like, "Yeah."

• 46:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:11Sam Morril?

  And we chat, and she was so cool. And she was like, "You wanna hear a joke that no one has ever heard that Rodney did?"

• 46:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:17Sam Morril?

  Fuck, I'm gonna butcher this now.

• 46:18Mark Normand?

  Oh my god, I can't wait!

• 46:20Sam Morril?

  Fuck, what is it? I'm trying to remember it now.

• 46:22Mark Normand?

  Get it together, so they don't butcher it.

• 46:24Sam Morril?

  Um...

• 46:25Speaker 01

  I was at her house once. She invited me over and she played an old cassette tape of about an hour's worth of Rodney just reciting jokes into the tape recorder that he either used or didn't use. But she said there were all these jokes no one had ever heard.

• 46:42Mark Normand?

  We gotta get those.

• 46:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was pretty amazing. Yeah, she has a whole bunch of them, like...

• 46:47Mark Normand?

  If you go to the mothership, there's like six placards on the wall of his jokes written out.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:54Mark Normand?

  And Whitney brought it in and Joe framed it.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, he's just so funny.

• 46:59Sam Morril?

  I don't know. I told her on some fucking podcast, I don't remember.

• 47:03Mark Normand?

  Give it a shot. Hum a few bars. Come on. A little comedy, we'll punch it up.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:08Sam Morril?

  I don't even remember. This never happens. Holy shit, I'm sorry. Maybe I'm in the final throes. This is fucking terrible.

• 47:16Mark Normand?

  That's a diary.

• 47:17Sam Morril?

  Holy shit. No, I'm a little slow for sure today.

• 47:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:22Mark Normand?

  Wow, you hung out with Rodney. Where's his house? Or where was it? Was it in LA?

• 47:26Speaker 01

  He lived on Wilshire Boulevard in one of these big, giant, fancy condos.

• 47:32Speaker 01

  There's this one area on Wilshire, just before you get to Westwood. And he lived in this, it was sort of a bronze green, really beautiful, um, you know, high-rise on Wilshire Boulevard, and he had a big walk-in.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  He said, I, he was, "Oh, and I, let me show you my sho-" he loved lions and he loved, he loved showers. And he took me into his big bathroom and showed me his, had this big walk-in shower with statues of lions.

• 48:02Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 48:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, just a real interesting guy.

• 48:05Mark Normand?

  Interesting, yes. Seinfeld said that he'd go out to dinner with him when he was a young comic.

• 48:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:10Mark Normand?

  Rodney couldn't wait for the food. It would, it would piss him off. He'd be like, "We want eight lo mains, two, uh, hot sours, uh," and then he'd go, "Where the hell's the food?" And they'd go, "We gotta cook it, Rodney."

• 48:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:19Mark Normand?

  But he was like, "We've been here one minute. You gotta give us a chance to go get it."

• 48:23Sam Morril?

  I remember the joke.

• 48:24Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 48:26Sam Morril?

  I fucking hate myself.

• 48:27Mark Normand?

  You gotta do the voice too, though.

• 48:27Sam Morril?

  Alright, fine. So, he was going into surgery and his wife told me, like, he was so nervous he was gonna lose his mind. His whole thing was about being sharp, you know? Like, if I lose my mind, I have nothing. And, you know, and he was like, "Alright, well hopefully you're alright." Comes out of it, he looks really woozy, and the doctor goes, "Uh, Rodney, did you cough anything up?" And he goes, "Yeah, 500 last week to a whore." That was his first line out of surgery, and they're like, "Well, he's still got it, I guess."

• 48:55Mark Normand?

  Hey, that's good.

• 48:57Sam Morril?

  Rodney Dangerfield.

• 48:58Mark Normand?

  You nailed it.

• 48:59Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 49:00Mark Normand?

  Cough up. That's fun.

• 49:03Sam Morril?

  God, one of the funniest dudes to ever live.

• 49:05Mark Normand?

  Easily. Like, who is writing that many jokes, you know, at that clip? Uh, Joan? I'm saying now. Oh, today? Yeah, yeah. A-tell, I don't know. Oh, maybe a-tell, yeah.

• 49:16Sam Morril?

  A-tell is kinda, yeah.

• 49:18Mark Normand?

  A-tell might be it. Good call. But, see, that's the problem is like...

• 49:22Sam Morril?

  A-tell's almost like, it's almost like a hip type of Dangerfield, where he's like doing Honey Boo Boo references and shit.

• 49:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:28Sam Morril?

  Throwing like random, like, you know, like, I feel like you know A-tell knows who the Rizler is.

• 49:32Mark Normand?

  Right, right. But he was in a suit where A-tell's dressed as a, like a forklift driver.

• 49:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  Poor Rodney. I was with him eight hours before he died.

• 49:43Mark Normand?

  Holy hell.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  I was one of the last people to be with them in the hospital.

• 49:48Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  Yep, he was, uh, held his hand and he was there. He was just like truly sad, had tubes coming out.

• 49:56Mark Normand?

  Ay, yai, yai.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was really heartbreaking.

• 50:00Mark Normand?

  Ooh, and you just standing there sipping a Mountain Dew.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  Just sipping, sipping a Mountain Dew, saying a prayer, holding, you know, holding his hand and, and, uh, and then later that night he passed away.

• 50:11Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:13Mark Normand?

  What was that, ninety-nine, something like that?

• 50:15Speaker 01

  I forget, but yeah, it was, uh, it was tough, man. He, good, good guy. Brought a lot of joy to people.

• 50:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah, one of the best. And helped young comedians. He literally had a young comedian special where he threw everybody a bone.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  He really liked doing that, yeah.

• 50:30Sam Morril?

  Two thousand four.

• 50:31Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 50:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah, was that kind of surreal? Just, I mean, hanging with him, you must have been like, this is crazy. This is fucking.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was very surreal because, uh, I, I didn't know him that well. And then when I did the movie, he, he'd see me a few times at the clubs. And then when I did his movie, he, he just called me up out of the blue one day. I forget what I do. He's, "Holland, it's Rodney." And I go, "Hey, man." He goes, "You stole the movie, man." And I was like, and then after that, he was like, "Come hang out" and just things like that. And, uh, so I sort of got close to him and, and Joan and, uh, yeah. So it was a real honor just to be around that kind of legendary guy, you know?

• 51:13Mark Normand?

  Would you say he's your favorite?

• 51:15Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 51:16Mark Normand?

  Who's your favorite comic ever? Who really grabbed ya?

• 51:21Speaker 01

  I like guys like Steven Wright, who are like really clever, sort of.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  Um, there was a guy from Montreal named Sean Keane.

• 51:31Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  That should have been a star, but never got there. And you, you wouldn't know him, but.

• 51:36Mark Normand?

  What happened?

• 51:37Speaker 01

  He, uh, he was a real kind of introvert and he didn't really understand his, he didn't understand. He was very bad at the business side.

• 51:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  But he was, he was so funny. He, he, he had this whole kind of body language he did. And after every joke, he'd go, "Mmm," like he, he had this whole thing and his jokes were like. My girlfriend told me to stop finishing her sentences and I said, "Period."

• 52:09Speaker 01

  He'd say stuff like, "I woke up this morning, there was a little baby on my doorstep." "I got home tonight, the little bastard was still there."

• 52:21Speaker 01

  He just had, he just had this kinda thing. Interesting. One-liners, but they were so good and he passed away unfortunately, but right from when I started my comedy career, he was one of my favorites. Yeah, see, that's the, that's the problem with the gatekeeping system back then. Now he could just put his shit on YouTube and he might catch.

• 52:41Sam Morril?

  I still don't believe that the cream always rises to the top, though. I still think it's tough, like, cause you could say that now, but then, a guy like that, he doesn't understand the business. Is he gonna understand like, social media?

• 52:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. He was, he was, it was tough to watch, cause he, he of all the people I've met, I thought should have been a star, you know? Wow. And I think he knew it too, which, not in a conceited way, but he just, he, he just knew that he, he was a prolific writer. Yeah. And he just knew he had something different, but he, he, he was also paranoid about people stealing his stuff and that held him back. Right.

• 53:18Sam Morril?

  So he wouldn't release stuff?

• 53:19Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 53:19Sam Morril?

  So he wouldn't release specials?

• 53:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, he just, he, Interesting.

• 53:22Sam Morril?

  His stuff doesn't live anywhere or anything? We can't?

• 53:24Speaker 01

  There's a few little things. I got him on a Canadian talk show once. Whoa. And he did a set, and he did an Evening at the Improv once. He actually came to Hollywood and did an Evening at the Improv. But he just, Hit it on YouTube, maybe it's out there. But it's also one of those guys too, to see him live was so much more rewarding than, you know, any footage would tell, but, Sure, sure. He was definitely one of my faves. Oh, wow. And I love Nick DiPaolo, because he's, um, he's just, some guys pretend they're angry. Yeah, yeah.

• 54:03Sam Morril?

  He's not pretending.

• 54:04Speaker 01

  But he's just, he's just angry and edgy and, Right. I really love that about him. Well, there he is. Okay, Evening at the Improv, that was you. Yeah, and I was in the crowd, watching him. Are we, where are we, in LA? This is on Hall, in, uh, this is in, uh, yeah, in LA.

• 54:21Sam Morril?

  It's just one joke, I guess.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  Clip is only 19 seconds long. Alright, great, perfect.

• 54:27Speaker 01

  Just chicks who have yet to meet me.

• 54:31Mark Normand?

  Chick who what?

• 54:32Sam Morril?

  Have yet to meet me.

• 54:33Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  Let's see how he moves. He's just like...

• 54:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, wow, that's hilarious.

• 54:41Speaker 01

  Uh, he just had this rhythm and...

• 54:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 54:44Speaker 01

  They didn't have it there, but usually after every joke, he'd go...

• 54:48Speaker 01

  Like, he'd accent every joke with these grunts.

• 54:51Mark Normand?

  Give me one more. Give me one more.

• 54:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, see if there's another one.

• 54:54Mark Normand?

  Put one joke at a time.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  I think my grandmother's stuffs her bra.

• 54:59Speaker 01

  At least it feels that way.

• 55:07Mark Normand?

  I loved it. I loved the movements. I loved the look.

• 55:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:10Mark Normand?

  He's got me. I'm a fan.

• 55:12Sam Morril?

  Anything else? Do we have any more?

• 55:13Mark Normand?

  I love how he posted one 18-second joke at a time. That's hilarious.

• 55:17Sam Morril?

  That's what I mean. I don't think it was just the gatekeeper's holding this guy back. This is...

• 55:21Speaker 01

  I'd love you to see one where he does the grunt.

• 55:24Mark Normand?

  Get all the way to the beginning.

• 55:25Sam Morril?

  You got it.

• 55:28Mark Normand?

  There we go.

• 55:31Speaker 01

  I met my wife in a nightclub. She was sitting across the bar, and I started to come on to her, you know? I didn't know I could squirt that far.

• 55:44Mark Normand?

  Classic.

• 55:45Speaker 01

  Look at him dance.

• 55:48Sam Morril?

  What the hell?

• 55:53Mark Normand?

  It's like an Elvis thing.

• 55:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:59Speaker 01

  That's his other thing. He'd always go, "Thank you. Thank you."

• 56:04Sam Morril?

  How'd he pass away? Passed away young?

• 56:05Speaker 01

  Well, what was the killer is he had had a heart surgery when he was young. I think he had a hole in his heart, and he was so paranoid that he would swim and he would run nine to 15 miles a day and swim like...

• 56:22Speaker 01

  Eight miles a day, like just all, every day, that's what he did.

• 56:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 56:26Speaker 01

  And apparently, he um, he was just at home, he was very quirky, still lived with his dad.

• 56:32Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 56:33Speaker 01

  And he was, you know, I think he was in his 50s, and then he um, they just found him at the keypad on the computer, like face down.

• 56:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, giant writing.

• 56:45Speaker 01

  Went in the room and he was, from what I heard, he was just sitting at the computer, yeah.

• 56:49Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 56:50Speaker 01

  But had boxes of jo- like Rodney just said, he'd write all these jokes down and had boxes of jokes and...

• 56:56Sam Morril?

  And you were very close with him?

• 56:57Speaker 01

  We were pretty close, he was a hard guy to get close to, but, but we had a sort of a kindred spirit and I was always, he'd phone me and we'd talk for hours, he'd go, Shaun, come to LA, you can stay at my house, so, you can stay here for three months, I'll, I'll help you, I'll introduce, oh, well, you know, and he would never, he was like his worst enemy, you know?

• 57:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, man.

• 57:17Speaker 01

  But it just broke, and then finally, I just gave up on trying to help because I, I could see it was never gonna happen and it broke my heart, but...

• 57:26Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 57:26Speaker 01

  Um, I just, he, he to me should have, he was just great, just the performance, the aura, the, and he's one of the guys, when you met him in real life, there was kind of a, sort of like Norm had, like this sort of aura around him, you know? It was really magical, so...

• 57:42Mark Normand?

  Damn, was he Canadian?

• 57:43Speaker 01

  He was Canadian, from Montreal, yeah.

• 57:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, Montreal, man.

• 57:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, just loved him, yeah, Shaun Keane.

• 57:48Mark Normand?

  Put him on the wall, why, what's with the funny guys dying?

• 57:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:51Mark Normand?

  You know, it's never, uh, I don't wanna say anybody, but, cause it's mean, but you know, it's always the Norms or the Patrices or the...

• 57:58Sam Morril?

  Look at the fucking whole wall here.

• 57:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the Jones.

• 58:00Sam Morril?

  I told you, I was watching a Bernie Mac movie the other day, it's not even a great movie, but I loved it, cause he's so great in it.

• 58:05Mark Normand?

  He's amazing.

• 58:06Sam Morril?

  He's so fucking great in it.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  He's great in um, Bad Santa.

• 58:10Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, dude, every time I watch Bad Santa though, it's like him and John Ritter, you're like, holy shit.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:16Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 58:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that was another great one.

• 58:18Speaker 01

  Great movie, yeah.

• 58:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but Bernie Mac's another dude with that, you're like, holy shit, this guy's got aura, like...

• 58:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:23Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, oh yeah, he was, he was the best on Kings of Comedy, nobody could follow him.

• 58:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 58:28Mark Normand?

  He was too good.

• 58:28Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 58:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but I mean, yeah, so many people, dude, so many great comedians.

• 58:34Mark Normand?

  Greg Giraldo, Mitch, you know, it's crazy. Kirtup.

• 58:40Sam Morril?

  Did you know Greg or Mitch at all, or no?

• 58:41Speaker 01

  I knew Mitch, um...

• 58:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was a little awkward because he opened for me once. And his girlfriend was there, and I used to date his girlfriend before, before he did.

• 58:56Mark Normand?

  Lynn?

• 58:57Speaker 01

  Lynn, yeah, yeah.

• 58:58Mark Normand?

  She got around, huh?

• 58:59Speaker 01

  Well, this was way back in the early, like in the 90s or maybe even the 80s, yeah.

• 59:05Mark Normand?

  I think she was banging John Doerr for a while as well.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was even before that.

• 59:09Sam Morril?

  What are you doing?

• 59:09Mark Normand?

  I'm just saying, this lady's got a...

• 59:11Sam Morril?

  I know, I don't think you should be saying that.

• 59:13Mark Normand?

  Alright, alright.

• 59:13Speaker 01

  I don't know who, but I remember it was, I think there was a little bit of, me and Mitch liked each other, we worked together, but I think there's a little tension, not, not that I caused, but I think...

• 59:24Mark Normand?

  Girlfriend tension.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I just sort of gave him his space and I didn't push it and, uh, but I, I loved him, he was great. I, I actually, I was mad at him, to be honest, because I didn't...

• 59:36Mark Normand?

  He didn't share the heroin?

• 59:37Speaker 01

  No, I didn't, I didn't like that he abused himself. It made me mad and, and it, it, like, some people tried to make it seem like it was charming and, oh, that's Mitch, he's on heroin, but I, I was, I was actually like, inside, I was very mad that he

• 59:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 59:56Speaker 01

  He did that to himself. He obviously probably couldn't help it, but it, to me, there was no charm. It was just like, just stop, but guys like that can't, I guess.

• 1:00:05Sam Morril?

  If you care about someone, it's awful.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, so it was tough to watch him.

• 1:00:09Sam Morril?

  I feel with you and the Mountain Doom, man.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:12Mark Normand?

  That's your heroin.

• 1:00:13Speaker 01

  He's got a Yahoo it up right to the grave. He's gonna be on my gravestone, Yahoo.

• 1:00:18Sam Morril?

  He couldn't help himself.

• 1:00:19Mark Normand?

  You're gonna be shooting that in between your toes, too.

• 1:00:24Speaker 01

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:00:25Sam Morril?

  Pour some Ready Whip on his grave.

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, spray it, doctors.

• 1:00:28Mark Normand?

  This is unbelievable, by the way.

• 1:00:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, have some more.

• 1:00:30Mark Normand?

  Alright, alright.

• 1:00:32Sam Morril?

  I think I'll be alright by tomorrow. I got fucked up from your thing, dude.

• 1:00:35Mark Normand?

  Everybody did. I think it was the sushi that got you.

• 1:00:38Sam Morril?

  You think so?

• 1:00:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:39Sam Morril?

  I mean, that got out of me quickly. That was...

• 1:00:42Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  You seem a little perkier than we, than when we started.

• 1:00:46Sam Morril?

  I'm a little perkier. I feel better.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  Your color's a little more back, too.

• 1:00:49Sam Morril?

  Thank you. I feel, I'm back.

• 1:00:51Mark Normand?

  Alright, we're back. How about that Sydney Sweeney, huh? Nice, uh, cans on that.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  You like her?

• 1:00:58Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:01:00Sam Morril?

  What kind of question is that?

• 1:01:01Mark Normand?

  Homosexual man? Yes, yes, I'm a fan.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  Okay, okay.

• 1:01:04Mark Normand?

  You know what I don't like about her is that she does the dumb hot girl voice. These are just my jeans I wear.

• 1:01:13Sam Morril?

  That's not her voice at all.

• 1:01:14Mark Normand?

  Pull it up, pull it up.

• 1:01:16Sam Morril?

  You sound like fuck it, you sound.

• 1:01:17Mark Normand?

  I sound like Cartman.

• 1:01:18Sam Morril?

  You sound like, yeah, you sound like Cartman as like a slow person.

• 1:01:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm telling you, I just don't know what else to do, cuz I.

• 1:01:27Sam Morril?

  That's not.

• 1:01:28Mark Normand?

  My tits.

• 1:01:29Sam Morril?

  If that were her voice. This is like how you wean someone opposite in Swainy, by the way, is just mark, alright, let's hear it.

• 1:01:35Mark Normand?

  I think she's cool, I like her, she's very attractive, good for her for killing, I just, I just hate the hot girl voice.

• 1:01:41Speaker 07

  They're the most comfortable jeans I've ever worn.

• 1:01:43Mark Normand?

  Cause my jeans.

• 1:01:43Sam Morril?

  Wow, holy shit.

• 1:01:45Speaker 07

  They make your butt look amazing.

• 1:01:47Mark Normand?

  Amazing.

• 1:01:48Sam Morril?

  I prefer her voice to yours right now.

• 1:01:52Speaker 07

  But if you said that you wanna buy the jeans, I'm not gonna stalk you, but just so we're clear, this is not me telling you.

• 1:01:59Sam Morril?

  Vocal fry.

• 1:02:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I hate that shit, it's, it's put on, it's like when you meet a gay guy who's like, hello? And you're like, what are you doing?

• 1:02:10Sam Morril?

  But I like that.

• 1:02:10Mark Normand?

  I mean, it's fun, but let's not pretend like.

• 1:02:13Sam Morril?

  That's not a good time though.

• 1:02:15Mark Normand?

  It's a fun time, for an hour and a half.

• 1:02:18Sam Morril?

  The flaming gay voices are fun than the hot chick vocal fry.

• 1:02:22Mark Normand?

  Yes, it's fun, at least it's fun and upbeat, this is like, I just had a little fentanyl.

• 1:02:29Sam Morril?

  Maybe if you're, maybe if you're attracted to men.

• 1:02:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:32Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 1:02:32Sam Morril?

  Holy shit.

• 1:02:35Sam Morril?

  I don't know dude, you, you and this voice in the shorts, I'm getting kinda turned on right now.

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  You should do an American Eagle commercial, bro.

• 1:02:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, maybe I will.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  They have a shorts line?

• 1:02:43Mark Normand?

  American Keagle.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  Line crosser.

• 1:02:49Mark Normand?

  Cut it, print it, clip it.

• 1:02:51Sam Morril?

  Dude, uh.

• 1:02:55Mark Normand?

  I just have good jeans.

• 1:02:57Sam Morril?

  What the fuck is happening?

• 1:02:59Mark Normand?

  I don't know what to do with my tits.

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  Dr. Pepper.

• 1:03:08Sam Morril?

  So who, what's like a hot lady voice?

• 1:03:11Mark Normand?

  Uh, what do you mean, that is, that's what I'm saying, that's what she's doing.

• 1:03:14Sam Morril?

  You think that's hot?

• 1:03:14Mark Normand?

  No, I don't like it, but hot girls do that, I'm saying.

• 1:03:18Speaker 01

  Oh, the hottest voice was, um. That movie Body Heat, the uh, the star of-

• 1:03:23Sam Morril?

  Kathleen Turner.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  Kathleen Turner had the sexiest voice.

• 1:03:26Sam Morril?

  That's a good, that's a good pull right there.

• 1:03:27Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, you ever see Body Heat?

• 1:03:29Sam Morril?

  It's a great movie, dude. Sexy, a little Florida noir.

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  The opening scene where they're watching the music and she just walks up smoking a cigarette.

• 1:03:37Sam Morril?

  That's a good movie rec if you haven't seen it. Go, go watch Body Heat. That's a fucking, William Hurt.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  Body Heat, yeah.

• 1:03:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Hurt's always good.

• 1:03:43Sam Morril?

  It's got vibes of like Postman Always Rings Twice type of feature.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  Jesus, talk about.

• 1:03:49Sam Morril?

  Hot chick that wants you to kill her husband.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, just powerful, sexy.

• 1:03:52Sam Morril?

  And you're like, that pussy's so good, I might. That's the vibe.

• 1:03:56Mark Normand?

  Eighty-one, huh?

• 1:03:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, just really sexy voice.

• 1:04:04Speaker 08

  You're not too smart, are you?

• 1:04:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:04:08Speaker 06

  What else do you like? Lazy, ugly, horny? I got them all.

• 1:04:13Speaker 08

  Lazy?

• 1:04:16Speaker 08

  Tell me, does chat like this work with most women?

• 1:04:19Speaker 06

  Some of them aren't around much.

• 1:04:21Speaker 08

  I wondered, thought maybe I was out of touch.

• 1:04:24Speaker 06

  I'll buy you a drink.

• 1:04:26Speaker 08

  I told you, I've got a husband.

• 1:04:29Speaker 06

  I'll buy him one too.

• 1:04:30Sam Morril?

  Woo! Killer dialogue. It's like, it's like Double Indemnity or something. You're like, oh, this is smooth.

• 1:04:36Mark Normand?

  I'm hooked. Can we play that or is that gonna kill us? Okay. Yeah, I like, she's got a normal lady voice. I'm very, very into it.

• 1:04:43Sam Morril?

  But it's got a little bit of like old timey, sophisticated.

• 1:04:47Mark Normand?

  It's got that North Atlantic uh, twang.

• 1:04:50Sam Morril?

  Kind of worldly a little bit.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  And it goes with her look. It matches her look, you know?

• 1:04:54Mark Normand?

  No, weirdly no tits.

• 1:04:57Sam Morril?

  No tits.

• 1:04:57Mark Normand?

  Compared to the Sweeney of it all.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:00Mark Normand?

  But still sexy.

• 1:05:01Sam Morril?

  Why is that such a hot plot, Murder My Husband? It's just like Murder My Husband and Fuck Me is like the-

• 1:05:07Mark Normand?

  That is pretty hot.

• 1:05:08Sam Morril?

  That's like classic noir right there.

• 1:05:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:11Mark Normand?

  Cause it's how bad you want it.

• 1:05:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:14Mark Normand?

  She was also a serial mom. Remember that?

• 1:05:16Sam Morril?

  It's so good.

• 1:05:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, I hated that movie.

• 1:05:19Sam Morril?

  Oh. But think about how much you regret fucking most people and then you're like, I killed their husband too?

• 1:05:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's true.

• 1:05:25Sam Morril?

  That's a fucking bad move.

• 1:05:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's a double whammy.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  Could you do it? Could you kill a husband?

• 1:05:30Sam Morril?

  I think I could. I don't think I can get away with it, but I think I could kill someone.

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  You could?

• 1:05:34Sam Morril?

  Probably.

• 1:05:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, geez.

• 1:05:35Sam Morril?

  Not actually, in theory. I don't think I could go through with it, no.

• 1:05:38Mark Normand?

  Only husband here. And the other one, the voodoo queen.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  She was Jessica Rabbit. Remember she had the voice of-

• 1:05:43Mark Normand?

  She was?

• 1:05:44Sam Morril?

  Yes. That's how you pulled that. You know who's got a hot voice too, actually? Scarlett Johansson.

• 1:05:49Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:05:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:50Mark Normand?

  A little deep.

• 1:05:51Sam Morril?

  Did the voice in the movie Her, though. Think about voiceover. Who can pull a good voiceover?

• 1:05:55Mark Normand?

  Good point. Pull her up.

• 1:05:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, shoot.

• 1:05:58Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:05:58Sam Morril?

  Who's doing Roger Rabbit?

• 1:05:59Mark Normand?

  I didn't know that.

• 1:06:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:00Mark Normand?

  And I love Jessica Rabbit. Good for her.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  I'm not bad. I was just drawn that way.

• 1:06:07Mark Normand?

  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  Right?

• 1:06:09Mark Normand?

  That was a sexy lady.

• 1:06:10Sam Morril?

  That's an underrated movie, too, dude. What, Bob Hoskins?

• 1:06:13Mark Normand?

  Zemeckis, yeah. I saw it in the theater.

• 1:06:15Sam Morril?

  That, uh, that scene with Betty Boop, where she's like, "I still got it, though," and he's like, "Yeah, Betty, you do."

• 1:06:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Shaving a haircut.

• 1:06:23Sam Morril?

  Did you ever hear that Bob Hoskins story where De Palma asked him to do, uh, The Untouchables? But he's like, "I want De Niro, but like, I'll, but in case he can't do it, I want you." And he was like, "All right, whatever," like.

• 1:06:33Mark Normand?

  Ha.

• 1:06:34Sam Morril?

  And then the movie comes out, he sees De Niro's in it, he's like, "All right." He gets a check for $200,000 in the mail from De Palma, like, "Sorry it didn't work out, but here's for wasting your time." And he was like, "Do you have any other movies you don't want me to do?"

• 1:06:49Mark Normand?

  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

• 1:06:51Sam Morril?

  It's like the talk show bit he would do, but.

• 1:06:53Mark Normand?

  That's funny.

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:06:54Mark Normand?

  You know, a similar story. Louis had a bit about, "Wouldn't it be nice if you were just an asshole? That'd be cool to be an asshole."

• 1:07:01Sam Morril?

  Ooh, I know what it's going.

• 1:07:02Mark Normand?

  And he'd tell it in Boston back in the day, you know, before he was famous. And Dennis Leary was like the big hot comic, and he heard it. He made it into, "I'm an asshole, yo." Whatever. Louis brought it up on a podcast or something, Opie and Anthony, one day randomly. It came over, he's like, "Yeah, what are you gonna do? People steal your bitch. You gotta write new ones. That's how it goes." I guess Leary heard that, sent him 20 grand.

• 1:07:25Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:07:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:27Sam Morril?

  He's made way more off that song.

• 1:07:28Mark Normand?

  I know, I know.

• 1:07:29Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:07:29Mark Normand?

  He got a, he's still got a deal, but.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:07:32Mark Normand?

  Crazy. I guess, nice to send the check, but maybe don't steal people's jokes.

• 1:07:37Speaker 01

  I got a check for a movie that I wasn't even in. Oh. Yeah, a couple of them, actually. I did, uh, I got a check from an animated movie called The Wild. Okay. I was supposed to do the voice of a snake and they ended up giving it to George Carlin. Wow. And I still get a, a, a royalties from it for some reason. I mean, you don't, you don't want to ruin it. Yeah. Don't say this out loud, Har. And then I get one from, uh, it's the only movie I ever got fired on. I did, uh, Elmo in Grouchland. I was supposed to be the villain and I got fired and they still send me, uh, royalties.

• 1:08:17Sam Morril?

  Why'd you get fired?

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  Uh, I, uh, the, uh, the guy Henson, the guy, the, the.

• 1:08:22Sam Morril?

  Jim Henson?

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  Jim Henson's kid who took over. Uh, I had the part and, uh, and I came to New York. It, the, there's a bunch of songs. So I had to go in a studio and sing a bunch of the songs. And then the, uh, we sang all day and then Henson's son, I think his name's Brian or something. He goes, come to the studio. I want, I want you to improv with the puppets. And I go, well, I already have the part, but okay. So we go and we, I had to improv with Elmo and a few of the other Muppets. And it was okay, but I don't know if it was bad or good, but it wasn't, I can improv pretty good. Yeah. And they called me that, that night and said, yeah, you're done. And they, they fired me. Whoa.

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  But I still get royalties. So it's like, okay. I guess that's part of the SAG thing. If you have someone on something, but then you change it, I guess maybe you still get paid or something.

• 1:09:18Sam Morril?

  On the crew list here.

• 1:09:19Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Put on the resume, fuck it. I get fired. It's the only movie I got fired from. Damn. Who's the villain? Who's the main guy in there? He's the. By the way, that guy was diddling kids, I think, Elmo. Yeah, afterwards I found out. He didn't get fired. So he must've really sucked.

• 1:09:37Sam Morril?

  He diddled kids. Allegedly.

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  Allegedly. Yeah.

• 1:09:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but the allegedly doesn't help much. Oh. Was it, uh, Mandy Patinkin?

• 1:09:44Speaker 01

  I'm not sure it was, that might've been him.

• 1:09:47Sam Morril?

  If you lost out to Mandy Patinkin, that's pretty, you've lost roles to some pretty legit.

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:09:52Sam Morril?

  You lost to Carlin and Mandy? I think so, yeah. Whoever the villain was, there's only one villain, so.

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:10:00Mark Normand?

  The villain's the pedo.

• 1:10:01Sam Morril?

  Look up, yeah, look up Elmo. What the fuck is Elmo? What is, how did he get away with that shit?

• 1:10:06Mark Normand?

  Who else was a pedo? Blue's Clues?

• 1:10:08Sam Morril?

  Texting teens. I don't think he actually did it. That's pretty fucking weird.

• 1:10:11Mark Normand?

  It is?

• 1:10:12Sam Morril?

  I mean, obviously, it's not as bad as other stuff, but.

• 1:10:14Speaker 01

  What, Elmo, the puppeteer was a pedo?

• 1:10:17Sam Morril?

  No, no, texting is not as bad as touching, but it's still bad. Especially if you're like, working in a kid's form.

• 1:10:23Speaker 01

  That's where the term came from, Geppetto.

• 1:10:27Speaker 01

  Pinocchio.

• 1:10:29Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 1:10:31Sam Morril?

  Lie to me?

• 1:10:32Mark Normand?

  Tickle me, Elmo. That's good stuff. Geppetto, you gotta tweet that.

• 1:10:37Speaker 01

  No, thanks, I'm busy.

• 1:10:43Mark Normand?

  Kevin Spacey. So, yeah, you're gonna put your movie like on your own site, or on some site, and ten bucks? Wingman, check it out, folks.

• 1:10:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, thank you. We don't have the, the site built out yet, but when we do, you know, in today's world, and I hope this applies to you guys too, like, everything's getting, everything's changing so quickly.

• 1:11:05Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, Colbert's gone, Stern's gone.

• 1:11:06Speaker 01

  And I feel like with, with the audience we sort of capture in the podcast world, if you had just, you know, ten thousand fans, download your movie for ten bucks a pop, that's like two hundred and fifty grand or whatever, right there, or two hundred grand. So, it's like, it, it's like, I think fans of ours who do this podcast world are excited to see us do our own projects.

• 1:11:32Mark Normand?

  Yes!

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  I get the feeling that, that they would support those movies.

• 1:11:37Mark Normand?

  A hundred percent.

• 1:11:38Speaker 01

  Because they don't, they don't get them in, in the theaters, because they're giving them to other people, so, I think, I'm hoping that Wingman can sort of be a platform that works and, and fans come out and order it, and then it sort of paves the way for all of us to start doing more of our own movies, which I think people want.

• 1:11:57Mark Normand?

  I think they want it too. Colbert did the Old Dads, that blew up, people loved it.

• 1:12:02Sam Morril?

  I talk about this a lot too, where it's like, we did- This was stand up specials for a while.

• 1:12:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:05Sam Morril?

  Next thing is, I guess we have to do it with TV and movies.

• 1:12:07Mark Normand?

  Good point, good point.

• 1:12:09Sam Morril?

  It's so damn hard to sell stuff.

• 1:12:10Speaker 01

  It's like Shane with tires.

• 1:12:12Mark Normand?

  Tires.

• 1:12:12Speaker 01

  You know, like, I think, I think people wanna see, like, funny comedians, men, girls, guys, they wanna see us do our, cuz they know we're creative and we have a lot of funny projects.

• 1:12:23Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:12:24Speaker 01

  And it's so hard to get them through the studios and the networks. So, to do them on our own now, I think we have way more avenues to, to, to present it to people. So that's what I wanna do with Wingman, is really get it out there.

• 1:12:37Mark Normand?

  I love it.

• 1:12:37Sam Morril?

  It's crazy, I make, I made a, I'm not done with the movie yet, but I shot a bulk of my movie on tour. And this movie idea I had for like, a, a mockumentary of a tour.

• 1:12:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:47Sam Morril?

  And it is insane how smooth shit goes when there aren't 80 people being like, what if we do this? Let's set a meeting. It's like, no, oh no, we're just gonna shoot this.

• 1:12:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, it's not gonna-

• 1:12:56Sam Morril?

  I called up, well, should we get, no, no, he's doing it. I got this guy to do this part.

• 1:12:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:00Sam Morril?

  We're good.

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:01Sam Morril?

  You know, obviously, people help, like managers, agents, they help, they, they got, they pass people for me and stuff, but like, you know, uh...

• 1:13:08Speaker 01

  That's the key, you just want people that help.

• 1:13:10Sam Morril?

  Just people who are good.

• 1:13:12Speaker 01

  You don't want people that just in the way and muddy it up.

• 1:13:13Mark Normand?

  Make decisions, yeah. I literally have a meeting, I have a general meeting with Jason Bateman's production company, whatever that means.

• 1:13:19Speaker 01

  Oh, good.

• 1:13:20Mark Normand?

  He couldn't do it two days ago, so I go, alright, and he go, here's some potential dates. One of them is in November. I'm like, I could make a movie by November. What are we doing here? This is so stupid.

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  That's what we're up against. And then, and then you get the meeting, and then, how many months or years till they get back to you?

• 1:13:37Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:13:37Speaker 01

  And you're at their mercy, and that's why I think if, if guys like us and girls like us can make more of our own stuff, and fans can directly decide to, to support it, we can make more. Like, I'm hoping people come out and, you know, support Wingman, cuz I'm already writing the sequel. And if they like Wingman, I wanna be ready to put the, the sequel in action.

• 1:14:01Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:14:01Speaker 01

  Give them another one. And, and a studio would never do it, cuz Wingman's edgy, and it's non-woke, and it's, and, and so, you know, I think we're all feeling the same. We don't wanna wait for people to tell us yes or no.

• 1:14:14Mark Normand?

  God, no. And people want comedy.

• 1:14:16Sam Morril?

  As long as the jokes are funny, like, who gives a shit? I think if it's funny, I'm almost like sick of hearing woke. I, I don't wanna hear it, I don't wanna hear it. Woke, non-woke, I'm sick, it, it's funny or not funny to me.

• 1:14:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:27Sam Morril?

  It's like, that's all that really matters.

• 1:14:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 1:14:30Sam Morril?

  So, uh- Yeah, I think we just kinda have to make stuff, but it's good. It is honestly kinda cool, like, making this movie on the road. I was like, oh, I just learned how to make a movie. This is education that you just like, people go to school for this shit. I just was like, oh, I'll just make it. And I was like, yeah, we made mistakes. I fell on my face with some shit. We had to reshoot some stuff. I'm still learning some stuff, but like, I was like, oh, I know how to make a movie now. And you can't fucking, you know, you can't learn it any other way than to just do it.

• 1:14:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, jump in, yeah.

• 1:15:00Sam Morril?

  It's like stand-up. You really just have to do, like, how do I do it? Get a mic.

• 1:15:04Mark Normand?

  Go onstage.

• 1:15:05Sam Morril?

  Find some fucking people. Talk and see if it works. I mean, it's gonna be bad at first and it's gonna get better or it's not.

• 1:15:12Mark Normand?

  And if we keep making enough stuff that gets traction, these studios will have to go, hey, we'd like to work with you. We'd like to buy some. You kinda wanna go, fuck off.

• 1:15:21Sam Morril?

  Or they won't even be around.

• 1:15:23Mark Normand?

  Or they won't be around.

• 1:15:24Sam Morril?

  I don't even know if they're gonna, some of them will survive. I'm sure they'll figure it out, because there's some really smart ones. But then there are some that you're just like, well, you're, everything you make is shit. Some have kinda built a brand of like, we're cool and artsy, and that's cool, you know? But then there's some that are definitely not gonna be here in a few years.

• 1:15:40Mark Normand?

  No, and now, we live in this world where like, like Happy Gilmore 2, I never saw it.

• 1:15:44Speaker 01

  Me neither.

• 1:15:45Mark Normand?

  Whatever. That's the only way to get views now, like this nostalgia, oh, big, oh, Adam Sandler's in it. Oh, this guy's in it. I'll watch that, but what about an original idea?

• 1:15:56Mark Normand?

  No one wants to take a chance on that, because no one has any fucking vision, because they just wanna make money.

• 1:16:00Sam Morril?

  Well, you just told me you saw Weapons and you loved it, though.

• 1:16:02Mark Normand?

  What the hell's Weapons?

• 1:16:03Speaker 01

  I loved it. It's sort of like a new horror movie.

• 1:16:05Mark Normand?

  Okay. Alright, great.

• 1:16:06Sam Morril?

  It's got buzz. It's got a lot of buzz right now.

• 1:16:08Speaker 01

  Well, horror's cheap. But I mean, like, you two guys with your followings, your followings together and your separate followings, I would have to believe that if you made your liquor movie and you built your own site and said, hey, ten bucks to own it, and seven bucks to rent it or whatever. I would have to imagine it, you know, you guys probably get three to 400,000 views an episode. I would bet at least 10,000 of your fans rented and that would help pay for it, you know?

• 1:16:37Mark Normand?

  Guaranteed.

• 1:16:37Speaker 01

  You can make more, you know, so.

• 1:16:39Mark Normand?

  That's the plan. People want comedy.

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  It's a cool new world out here right now.

• 1:16:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:45Speaker 01

  I hope it empowers us to do more of our own stuff, yeah.

• 1:16:48Sam Morril?

  It's just good, I mean, because I feel like the conversations, I think for a while, were a lot of people feeling like really down. And I feel like there's like an energy now when I talk to people and they're like, no, we can like, there's more positivity.

• 1:16:59Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:17:00Sam Morril?

  You know, like, oh, no, we can do this.

• 1:17:02Speaker 01

  Because I think that the studios and the networks, you know, it was such a powerful wall.

• 1:17:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:08Speaker 01

  That we all know what we want to do in the entertainment industry, but to get up over that wall is so daunting and

• 1:17:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:15Speaker 01

  the odds are so low.

• 1:17:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:18Speaker 01

  But now I feel like the walls are starting to collapse and come down where now guys like us are in a world where we can hopefully get stuff directly to consumers and not have to be at the mercy of these big entities, you know?

• 1:17:33Mark Normand?

  100%. Let's flip it. Let's have them call us. What are you working on?

• 1:17:37Speaker 01

  I think that's happening, you know?

• 1:17:38Mark Normand?

  I think so too.

• 1:17:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:40Mark Normand?

  Every show is crumbling, like the traditional stuff is all seems to be dying.

• 1:17:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:44Mark Normand?

  It's, we're in the middle of a crazy shift. Starwyn is gone, Colbert is going away, Seth Meyers publicly said, I have five years left, I definitely won't make it.

• 1:17:53Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 1:17:54Mark Normand?

  And you're like, holy shit, yeah.

• 1:17:55Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, no one's watching them anymore, you know? It's like.

• 1:17:58Mark Normand?

  No, I'm not.

• 1:17:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I remember there was a time, you know, probably even 10, 11 years ago where every comic you met was like, I'm working on my

• 1:18:08Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:18:09Speaker 01

  show set, you know, or my Conan set. And now you go to a comedy club and nobody's, you never hear it. None of the comics are worried about getting on late night. They're more excited to get on a podcast.

• 1:18:21Sam Morril?

  We've said it a million times, but like, I don't think I could put together a falcon set right now. I put together a set for Saudi Arabia, but not for Fallon.

• 1:18:30Mark Normand?

  It's hilarious.

• 1:18:31Sam Morril?

  But I mean, you know, we've talked about it. You go on Fallon, but, and it's not like, I get that he's nice, but then they're like, well, you gotta be nice too.

• 1:18:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:39Sam Morril?

  But that's not how my stand-up is.

• 1:18:40Speaker 01

  You're not offensive.

• 1:18:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly. I'm different than you.

• 1:18:42Sam Morril?

  And it's not even offensive. It's just, I'm not like a nice guy in my, I'm not like all bubbly in my stand-up, so.

• 1:18:49Mark Normand?

  And you change a word, the whole joke is different, you know?

• 1:18:51Sam Morril?

  It's shot.

• 1:18:52Mark Normand?

  They're like, we want a set from you. I sent him a set. He's like, this won't work, this won't work. Change that. I'm like, what's it, that's a different comedy show.

• 1:18:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:58Sam Morril?

  It's also, to me, to do a set these days is like, it's kinda stressful. It's like, it's more, more can go wrong than well, almost.

• 1:19:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I remember the last time I did Letterman, they, they beeped me like four or five times.

• 1:19:14Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:19:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'd never been beeped. I flew to New York from LA. They, they took me around, you know, the, the two nights before, and they watched your set. And I did the, the exact set like probably seven or eight times in front of the producers who were with me.

• 1:19:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:31Speaker 01

  And I even asked them, there was a few edgy, I said, are you sure you're okay with this one? They said, yep, yep. So I did the set that night. It killed. And I watched it and they beeped like three or four times.

• 1:19:43Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 1:19:43Speaker 01

  And then they gave me shit for it. The Letterman people, I gave, and I said, wait a minute, your guys approved all of it.

• 1:19:49Mark Normand?

  You approved it.

• 1:19:49Speaker 01

  I said, well, Dave wasn't having, I go, but, but it's not on me, you guys. So they made it look like I just went off and I didn't, but it was funny because what they beeped was a reference to Disneyland.

• 1:20:02Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:20:03Speaker 01

  To Pillsbury and towards, um.

• 1:20:06Sam Morril?

  Oh, it's all sponsors.

• 1:20:07Speaker 01

  Like, like, like brand names, you know, or, or big corporate people.

• 1:20:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. Now, is this on the couch or stand-up?

• 1:20:13Speaker 01

  This was stand-up, yeah.

• 1:20:14Mark Normand?

  Oh, shit.

• 1:20:14Speaker 01

  I don't know if it's there, but, but I never did Letterman again after that.

• 1:20:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, man.

• 1:20:20Speaker 01

  Luckily, it was towards the end of, of his run, but, but I was sort of like, well, I don't wanna do it. Like, after you treated me like that, like,

• 1:20:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:29Speaker 01

  you told me to do it, and then you turned around and tried to blame, like, they kinda phoned me and go, yeah, we weren't really happy with what you did.

• 1:20:36Mark Normand?

  What are you talking about?

• 1:20:37Sam Morril?

  That's a real bummer, man.

• 1:20:38Speaker 01

  It was really weird.

• 1:20:39Sam Morril?

  Well, those, those shows like, that's what I mean, those shows. There's such a tightrope and you're like, stand-up's kinda messy dude.

• 1:20:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:47Sam Morril?

  This isn't how it's supposed to be. You know, part of what I love is like, you go to a play and something goes wrong in the play, they can't break character.

• 1:20:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:55Sam Morril?

  We can kinda, if something goes wrong on TV, we have to address it.

• 1:20:58Mark Normand?

  You have to.

• 1:20:59Sam Morril?

  And that's kinda the beauty of stand-up is that, you know, these shows are fucking messy.

• 1:21:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:04Sam Morril?

  So when they make you walk this tightrope and it's clean, they sense something's false. They sense that bit is, I don't you feel when you do those sets that they sense you're being watered down?

• 1:21:13Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure. And the audience on the, at the club can sense it. You know, when you run your Tonight Show set at a club?

• 1:21:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:19Mark Normand?

  It's so weird. You can feel that they're, it's, it's fake and robotic and everything.

• 1:21:23Sam Morril?

  I also don't like it, like, they'd like it if you wear a suit. Maybe not every comic wears a fucking suit.

• 1:21:28Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:21:28Sam Morril?

  I'll wear a suit, cause I don't mind wearing a suit, but I, I think some comics that takes away from what they do.

• 1:21:33Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure.

• 1:21:34Sam Morril?

  And they look weird in a suit. I just think these weird rules, just, why don't you let the fucking individual be the individual?

• 1:21:40Mark Normand?

  I know. Well, that's the reason it's crumbling, it's the reason Chris Rock doesn't do any of them. He's like, why would I do that?

• 1:21:44Sam Morril?

  Does he never go on even on couch or anything?

• 1:21:46Mark Normand?

  No, he does that, but not really anymore, but he, he never did stand-up, I don't think. Maybe once, thirty-five years ago.

• 1:21:53Sam Morril?

  Well, Chris's bits are so just like, this is the bit. Why would he change it?

• 1:21:56Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:21:57Speaker 01

  But nobody does it anymore. Like, I, I don't know one comic that's striving to get on a late-night talk show.

• 1:22:03Sam Morril?

  If you're a young comic, you are still.

• 1:22:04Speaker 01

  They are?

• 1:22:04Sam Morril?

  I think if you're young and, yeah, you, it's a cool, I think it's a cool thing for your parents to see if you're a young comic.

• 1:22:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I haven't, I haven't heard of it.

• 1:22:11Sam Morril?

  They moved to New York, he did Fallon. It's, it's a, it's a nice, I always felt those were like nice things for my folks or something.

• 1:22:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:17Sam Morril?

  But.

• 1:22:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:19Sam Morril?

  But I don't know, yeah, I don't, you, you, I don't think they're, what, they definitely weren't what they were.

• 1:22:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:23Mark Normand?

  No, god, no. I think you can get more on a TikTok.

• 1:22:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:27Mark Normand?

  View-wise.

• 1:22:28Speaker 01

  I think you're right.

• 1:22:30Mark Normand?

  To the Fallens of the world.

• 1:22:31Sam Morril?

  But there was a period where clubs were like, no, he's been on Fallon. I say, I'm still selling forty tickets this weekend.

• 1:22:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:22:37Sam Morril?

  But, uh, you know, there was a period, there was a period where that like did help a little bit.

• 1:22:41Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure. It looks good on a poster, but then it gets weird when they're like, he was on Netflix, Conan. You're like, well, Conan's over. Maybe we, we stopped saying that in the intro.

• 1:22:50Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:22:50Mark Normand?

  The show is not existing.

• 1:22:53Sam Morril?

  That was the most fun one to do, though.

• 1:22:55Mark Normand?

  And how about Conan? This, this, the, the ultimate metaphor or symbolism. The guy got fired, started a podcast, which at the time was like, ugh. Guy really demoted to a podcast? Holy shit, these guys are all on 30 Rock and all this shit. Now, he's gonna be the one to, to be swimming away from the Titanic sinking. They're all gonna sink.

• 1:23:15Sam Morril?

  It's a lifeboat.

• 1:23:16Mark Normand?

  Lifeboat, that's the term.

• 1:23:18Sam Morril?

  You don't wanna be swimming away from the Titanic sinking.

• 1:23:20Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 1:23:21Sam Morril?

  Wait, who's swimming away?

• 1:23:22Mark Normand?

  Conan. Cause he had a podcast, early. And he looked like, kind of, not I wanna say loser, but he looked like he lost that round. And then now, the whole thing's gonna topple, and he's gonna be glad I had a podcast.

• 1:23:34Sam Morril?

  Oh, cause the other guys are gonna be gone.

• 1:23:36Mark Normand?

  Probably.

• 1:23:37Sam Morril?

  And maybe they'll do something else, but maybe they'll do a podcast.

• 1:23:40Mark Normand?

  Maybe, but, you know.

• 1:23:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:42Mark Normand?

  Just cause you do a podcast, doesn't mean it's gonna be a hit. Obama had a podcast, it got cancelled. Bruce Springsteen had a podcast, it got cancelled. The Kardashians had a podcast, it got cancelled.

• 1:23:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but they'll be alright.

• 1:23:51Mark Normand?

  I'm not saying, that's not the point.

• 1:23:53Sam Morril?

  It's not for everybody.

• 1:23:54Mark Normand?

  They couldn't do a podcast, but saying you start a podcast, doesn't mean it's gonna work.

• 1:23:57Sam Morril?

  But not everyone should be doing a, a podcast.

• 1:24:00Mark Normand?

  I agree, but that's not, that's not the argument. The argument is, they could start a podcast, but it could fail.

• 1:24:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:05Mark Normand?

  That's what I'm saying. Cause, you know, Obama, come on.

• 1:24:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:11Mark Normand?

  Biggest.

• 1:24:11Sam Morril?

  Obama, a, a known podcast legend. Isn't it his wife? Isn't it his wife?

• 1:24:16Mark Normand?

  She has one as well. Hit, hers is still going, his got cancelled.

• 1:24:19Sam Morril?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:24:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:22Sam Morril?

  I mean, Obama's a great public speaker, but he had speech writers. That doesn't mean you're gonna be a great, oh, every president has writers.

• 1:24:28Mark Normand?

  My point's not everybody can do it. But I think everybody's like, oh, I have nothing going on, I'll be a podcaster, but doesn't mean it's gonna work.

• 1:24:35Sam Morril?

  Also, I think Obama's a good podcast guest. I don't think he's a great host.

• 1:24:39Mark Normand?

  Yes, I agree.

• 1:24:40Sam Morril?

  I think that guy could talk like, you know, I'd hear him on podcasts, and be like, oh shit, this guy watches like Basketball on the Wire. That's like, cool for a president.

• 1:24:45Mark Normand?

  Sure, smoking cigarettes.

• 1:24:47Sam Morril?

  But then, I don't think he's a guy that, I don't think Obama, like, can you imagine us, him having us on his show, and he's like, so tell us, uh, you know. He, he, he's more of a guy you wanna hear from than like, a host.

• 1:24:57Mark Normand?

  Agreed.

• 1:24:57Sam Morril?

  You know?

• 1:24:58Mark Normand?

  Agreed, yeah, he's a guest, for sure.

• 1:24:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Am I a guest?

• 1:25:02Mark Normand?

  You can do both. You are, you're one of the rare talents.

• 1:25:06Sam Morril?

  Thanks, bud.

• 1:25:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you're a rare breed.

• 1:25:11Speaker 02

  I think you're our guest we had back the most recently, like the least time in between guests.

• 1:25:17Mark Normand?

  Outside of Ari.

• 1:25:18Speaker 02

  Outside of Ari.

• 1:25:19Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:25:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but Ari just wanders.

• 1:25:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's a wandering.

• 1:25:22Sam Morril?

  Half the time we don't even know Ari's gonna show up. That's not on us.

• 1:25:24Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:25:25Speaker 01

  I wanna come back when Wingman's out and play the trailer and clips and all that.

• 1:25:30Sam Morril?

  Send it, send it to us too. I wanna see it.

• 1:25:32Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:25:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. There's no trailer yet?

• 1:25:35Speaker 01

  There is a trailer. I just got cut last week, but I don't know if I'm allowed to release it yet.

• 1:25:39Sam Morril?

  Oh, cool.

• 1:25:40Mark Normand?

  Well, we'll put it on our page and all that.

• 1:25:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, we'll promote it.

• 1:25:43Speaker 01

  Thank you. I'm excited.

• 1:25:45Mark Normand?

  Are you doing any tour dates?

• 1:25:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got, if you go to harlanwilliams.com, you can see my tour dates.

• 1:25:53Speaker 02

  11th, can you see this?

• 1:25:54Speaker 01

  Starting in September, yeah.

• 1:25:56Mark Normand?

  I would love to see you live.

• 1:25:58Speaker 01

  You haven't?

• 1:25:58Mark Normand?

  I don't think I ever have.

• 1:26:00Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:26:00Mark Normand?

  Isn't that crazy?

• 1:26:02Sam Morril?

  My friend was telling me how funny you were one, like years ago, like he's, our friend Phil Hanley, a Canadian comic.

• 1:26:07Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, Phil.

• 1:26:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and he was, he was like, uh, texting me, he's like, "Man, I'm watching Harlan Williams in Vancouver. I'm laughing so hard," or whatever.

• 1:26:13Speaker 01

  Ah, awesome, yeah.

• 1:26:15Sam Morril?

  And he's, and he's filled with hate, so for him to say that.

• 1:26:18Speaker 01

  I don't know if I've seen you guys live either, now that I think of it.

• 1:26:22Mark Normand?

  Gee, we've never done shows together.

• 1:26:24Speaker 01

  We're on the coast, yeah.

• 1:26:26Speaker 02

  Well, maybe tonight?

• 1:26:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:27Speaker 02

  Tonight?

• 1:26:28Mark Normand?

  I gotta go to Long Island, but I'm, I'm here all weekend, if you are.

• 1:26:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I might do something Friday.

• 1:26:33Mark Normand?

  Friday, I'll, I'll set you up with something.

• 1:26:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:36Mark Normand?

  Okay, we'll get you something. I'm gonna set you up just so I can watch.

• 1:26:39Sam Morril?

  I'm with old Shane Gillis this weekend. I'm doing a couple of his dates.

• 1:26:42Mark Normand?

  Oh, we're, we're from cities.

• 1:26:44Sam Morril?

  Grand Rapids and Detroit.

• 1:26:45Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah, that's a, that's a fun time.

• 1:26:48Sam Morril?

  I had an open weekend. He hit me up. I was like, "Why the fuck?"

• 1:26:51Mark Normand?

  Why the hell not? Make some money, do an arena, have a, have a drink. It's gonna be a great time.

• 1:26:55Sam Morril?

  Hope I can have a drink. I think I'll have to.

• 1:26:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:57Sam Morril?

  He's a beer watcher. He notices how much you have in your race. He's like, he's like, "You're, you're almost done. Get another."

• 1:27:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. But I always go, "I'm doing liquor, you fat, lay off me."

• 1:27:09Speaker 01

  What'd you call him?

• 1:27:12Mark Normand?

  Ballock. But, uh, he's, uh...

• 1:27:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah, beer is not equal to like a mixed drink.

• 1:27:17Mark Normand?

  Bud Light. It's like drinking a, you know, a soda. Alright, so go see him in Poughkeepsie. That's a fun room. Reading, PA, Boston at the Wilbon.

• 1:27:27Speaker 09

  It's Jeff Ross, the roast master. I'm coming to Broadway with my new solo show. Take a banana for the ride. Folks, I promise you a night of crazy jokes, touching family stories. It'll be different every night. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll take a banana for the ride. I hope we have enough. Tickets on sale.

• 1:27:46Mark Normand?

  Alright, where you gonna be there, Sammy the Bull?

• 1:27:49Sam Morril?

  Oh, I'm in Vegas at the Venetian. I'm excited. Yeah, Rochester, New York at, uh, Comedy at the Carlson. Fun club. Chicago Theater, October 4th.

• 1:27:59Mark Normand?

  Holy shit, that's crazy.

• 1:28:01Sam Morril?

  Uh, October 5th. Then I got Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, baby. Let's go.

• 1:28:05Mark Normand?

  Holy...

• 1:28:06Sam Morril?

  Barcelona, Milan, Dublin, Liverpool, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin. Back, second time this year, it's Wise Guys in Salt Lake City, because I love this club so much.

• 1:28:18Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:28:18Sam Morril?

  Uh, and then we got, uh, yeah, that's in November. And then Reno, November 29th. In New York City, Carnegie Hall, December 4th. I hope you guys come out. I'm trying to add some shit, too, but, uh, yeah.

• 1:28:28Mark Normand?

  You're going all over the world.

• 1:28:29Sam Morril?

  I'm going hard, man.

• 1:28:30Mark Normand?

  Good for you.

• 1:28:31Sam Morril?

  I took the summer kinda light, so...

• 1:28:33Mark Normand?

  Good for you. Congrats.

• 1:28:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Punchup.live slash Mark Norman, punchup.live slash Sam Morril.

• 1:28:39Mark Normand?

  Hey, I'm coming to your home country.

• 1:28:42Speaker 01

  Where you going? Halifax. I was just there.

• 1:28:45Mark Normand?

  I've heard it's a cool-ass, like, fishing town.

• 1:28:47Speaker 01

  Best, yeah. Fishing, seafood, friendliest people in Canada on the east coast.

• 1:28:53Mark Normand?

  Can't wait. Well, the first show's sold out, so let's pop into that second one. And we got Ottawa. I think Norm's from there.

• 1:28:59Speaker 01

  Norm's from there, yeah. Norm MacDonald's from there.

• 1:29:03Mark Normand?

  Huntsville, Hattiesburg, San Jose, Boulder, Calorati, Riyadh, Oslo, Helsinki, Stockholm, Dublin, The Valley Center, Timonium in Baltimore, back in Magoob. Remember that place?

• 1:29:17Sam Morril?

  Uh, do I remember?

• 1:29:19Mark Normand?

  I gotta build a new hour. DC, Rochester, make-up date, Niagara Falls, and San Diego, Chile.

• 1:29:27Sam Morril?

  San Diego, California.

• 1:29:31Sam Morril?

  See you guys on the road. Buy some Bodega Cat at bodeagacatwhiskey.com. Message Bodega Cat Whiskey on Instagram if you want us in your bar.

• 1:29:38Mark Normand?

  Art heist.

• 1:29:41Sam Morril?

  I'm literally plugging our whiskey.

• 1:29:42Mark Normand?

  Sorry, sorry. It was a timing issue.

• 1:29:46Sam Morril?

  Message us on Instagram. Matt, we'll get back to you and we love you. Keep listening. Check out Wingman, Harland's new movie. We'll see you very soon.

• 1:29:55Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:30:43Speaker 10

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