Ep 247: Mark Normand & Sam Morril Might Be Drunk

No guest this week, just Mark and Sam back together again. Jet lag, black Manhattans, paddleboard disasters, Aussie rules on booze, Beach Boys vs. Beatles, Burt Kreischer crying, comedy vs. rock ‘n’ roll, and why nature is boring compared to getting hammered in the Village. Sponsored by: 💊 Start your free online Hims visit today: https://www.hims.com/DRUNK 🧘 Get 30% off your first Cornbread Hemp order (code DRUNKS) https://www.cornbreadhemp.com/DRUNKS 💨 Support the show & get 20% off your first Lucy order (code DRUNK) https://www.lucy.co/DRUNK 🎧 Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD 🛒 Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ 🎬 Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ 🎙️ Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD: https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #Hims #CornbreadHemp #Lucy #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Sam Morril?

  We're rolling, it's just the boys today.

• 0:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we needed a solo.

• 0:09Sam Morril?

  We don't see each other enough.

• 0:11Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 0:12Sam Morril?

  And then we start catching up, and then you say something, I'm like, "That'd be a good pod story."

• 0:16Mark Normand?

  Ahahaha.

• 0:17Sam Morril?

  And we kinda slow down.

• 0:18Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah. Well, first of all, we got Herman on the ones and twos over here, this is our bodega distributor.

• 0:24Sam Morril?

  He's our guy.

• 0:25Mark Normand?

  Is that what you call it?

• 0:26Speaker 02

  No.

• 0:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, sorry.

• 0:28Sam Morril?

  What's your title?

• 0:29Speaker 02

  I work for you guys.

• 0:31Sam Morril?

  Alright.

• 0:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, I didn't want to say that. This is our slave.

• 0:33Sam Morril?

  Nice to meet you.

• 0:35Mark Normand?

  What's the word there?

• 0:36Speaker 02

  I represent your brand.

• 0:37Mark Normand?

  Alright, a representative.

• 0:39Sam Morril?

  That's good, well, how can people contact you if they want Bodega Cat or Fine Rye Whiskey in their bar or liquor store?

• 0:46Speaker 02

  Oh, they can reach out to [email protected], or just [email protected]. Probably easier that one.

• 0:56Sam Morril?

  Or DM you on Instagram, right?

• 0:57Speaker 02

  Or DM us on Instagram.

• 0:58Sam Morril?

  At Bodega Cat Whiskey.

• 0:59Mark Normand?

  Send them a dick pic.

• 1:01Sam Morril?

  Oh my god. San Francisco Chronicle. Black cock.

• 1:05Mark Normand?

  Ah, yeah.

• 1:06Sam Morril?

  Let's get them in there. And what are we drinking today? We're going to a little Black Manhattan?

• 1:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're drinking a little Black Manhattan, a little Bodega Cat Whiskey.

• 1:12Sam Morril?

  Thicker than a white one, right?

• 1:13Mark Normand?

  Black Manhattan, or as I call it, the Harlem.

• 1:17Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:18Sam Morril?

  You made us a drink that was a little sweet. It was a little sweet for my liking. I like a Black Manhattan. I think originally that was the most fucked up I got on this podcast. It was when we, it was back in the day on a Halloween app, we did Black Manhattans, and I was pretty lit up.

• 1:32Mark Normand?

  What's the difference between the regular and the black?

• 1:35Sam Morril?

  Can I guess?

• 1:36Mark Normand?

  Knowing his father? Alright, alright.

• 1:40Sam Morril?

  It's just Amaro and whiskey, right?

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, substituting Amaro for like, sweet vermouth instead, yeah.

• 1:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:47Sam Morril?

  So it's got, it's a little soft in the stomach.

• 1:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, great, like a little liqueur, a little liquorish. I like it.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  I'd like to make a correction. I think the drunkest I've ever seen you was the Richard Jefferson episode.

• 1:56Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:57Speaker 02

  You guys drank a whole bottle.

• 1:58Sam Morril?

  No, that was him though, I wasn't that fucked up.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  You weren't fucked up?

• 2:00Sam Morril?

  I was fucked up on the bachelor party episode.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  Oh, yes, yes.

• 2:03Mark Normand?

  And the Burt Kreischer one was up there too, the first one with the Kool-Aids.

• 2:06Sam Morril?

  Oh god.

• 2:07Mark Normand?

  Holy shit, I think you yacked, or somebody yacked. Burt cried, it was crazy.

• 2:12Sam Morril?

  He did cry.

• 2:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 2:14Sam Morril?

  I've never seen someone cry and then just go right back into laughing like three minutes later. Like if I'm in a relationship and she starts crying, she ain't smiling for a while.

• 2:22Mark Normand?

  No.

• 2:22Sam Morril?

  But Bert will be like, "Hoo hoo hoo hoo." Anyway, uh, here's the time I worked with Will Smith. I'm like, "What the fuck? What's happening?"

• 2:29Mark Normand?

  Well, his crying, his laugh aren't that different. It's like, "Dee."

• 2:36Mark Normand?

  So, yeah. Uh, but yeah, it's good to be back. I'm jet lagged as hell. I'm wonky.

• 2:39Sam Morril?

  I missed you, dude.

• 2:40Mark Normand?

  I'm uptown, I'm black, I'm white.

• 2:42Sam Morril?

  We had some weird drunken texts where it's like you get older and like, "I fucking miss you."

• 2:45Mark Normand?

  I know. I missed you too. And I was on the other side of the world. It was probably 10 in the morning over there, it was 10 at night there.

• 2:50Sam Morril?

  I was still drunk.

• 2:51Mark Normand?

  Okay, yeah, so was I.

• 2:53Speaker 03

  Did your kid recognize you when you got home after two weeks?

• 2:55Mark Normand?

  Yes, I was nervous. Cause my, my wife left for like five days to go to a, a thing. Yeah, bring it on in.

• 3:01Sam Morril?

  Ooh, and you garnished it?

• 3:02Mark Normand?

  Those look great. Jesus, Herman, you fucking brand rep.

• 3:06Sam Morril?

  Look at that. Here, let's toast this up. Hey, to, to, to being together again?

• 3:10Mark Normand?

  Yes, reunited, and it feels so gay.

• 3:17Sam Morril?

  That's nice.

• 3:18Mark Normand?

  Wow, that's damn good.

• 3:20Sam Morril?

  A Black Manhattan.

• 3:21Mark Normand?

  This is better than a regular, I think.

• 3:23Sam Morril?

  Ooh, let's not get carried away. A regular is a classic.

• 3:26Mark Normand?

  I know, but I'm digging this, or the way he made it. It's just subtle.

• 3:29Sam Morril?

  It is very good.

• 3:30Mark Normand?

  Ooh, that's good.

• 3:31Sam Morril?

  So your, your baby sees you, you come home, it's been, how long? Two weeks?

• 3:35Mark Normand?

  15 days.

• 3:36Sam Morril?

  Oh my gosh.

• 3:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's a long 15. 24 hour flight, had to connect in Hong Kong on Cathay Air. Brutal. No wifi. I watched five movies.

• 3:47Sam Morril?

  What movies?

• 3:48Mark Normand?

  I watched The Last Boy Scout.

• 3:51Sam Morril?

  Oh, that's a fun one.

• 3:51Mark Normand?

  It was so fun.

• 3:52Sam Morril?

  Damon Wayans and Bruce Willis?

• 3:54Mark Normand?

  I mean, it's got some cheese on it, but, but man, is it fun.

• 3:57Sam Morril?

  The scene where, uh, he knows his wife is cheating on him?

• 4:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 4:01Sam Morril?

  And he's about to shoot through the fucking doors?

• 4:03Mark Normand?

  The closet, yeah.

• 4:03Sam Morril?

  God, I fucking love Bruce Willis.

• 4:05Mark Normand?

  He's so, uh, it's very noir. It's a million lines.

• 4:07Sam Morril?

  It's shameless, bro.

• 4:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know that. The, the lines are great.

• 4:14Sam Morril?

  Fuck, if we ever bring back Patreon, it should just be us watching awesome scenes.

• 4:18Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 4:18Sam Morril?

  Cause that's, that's- What we wanna do all the time on here, we can't cuz of, you know, copyright shit.

• 4:24Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 4:24Sam Morril?

  What else you watch?

• 4:25Mark Normand?

  Some, some, some rough language in there too, by the way.

• 4:27Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah. A lot of homophobia in the early 90s action.

• 4:31Mark Normand?

  Yes, tons of homophobia.

• 4:32Sam Morril?

  They're like, we don't have a punchline, just call him a homo.

• 4:35Mark Normand?

  They didn't say homo.

• 4:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah, oh no.

• 4:36Mark Normand?

  But, uh, yeah, great movie. Then I watched The Elephant Man.

• 4:41Sam Morril?

  I've never seen it.

• 4:42Mark Normand?

  I'd never seen it either, and I was embarrassed by it, and I said, I'm putting it on. And holy shit.

• 4:47Sam Morril?

  Good?

• 4:47Mark Normand?

  It is good, it's eerie, it's weird, it's dark. David Lynch.

• 4:51Sam Morril?

  Yeah, legend.

• 4:52Mark Normand?

  There he is.

• 4:53Sam Morril?

  That's after, that's me after a few drinks.

• 4:57Mark Normand?

  Looks like my ex. But, uh, yeah. That looks like Rihanna after Chris Brown got to her.

• 5:04Mark Normand?

  A couple of, uh, wallops there. But yeah, then I watched the, uh, Beach Boys documentary, which is incredible.

• 5:10Sam Morril?

  God, I love the Beach Boys so much.

• 5:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, so good.

• 5:13Sam Morril?

  I, I, you know what's funny? I was talking to a friend recently who lives in California, and she was like, uh, she's like, I, I never liked them cuz I feel like they were like singing about a thing that didn't exist here. But to me, as like a city kid, I was like, this is the best fucking music. Like,

• 5:26Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 5:27Sam Morril?

  Pet Sounds is like the best album.

• 5:28Mark Normand?

  Best album.

• 5:29Sam Morril?

  That's like a top 10 album ever.

• 5:30Mark Normand?

  And it's cool, the guy's a legitimate genius. Genius. Like just staying in the studio, wacky sounds going through his head, dad beat the shit out of him. The coolest part of the whole doc, though, is how they, uh, they were feuding with the Beatles.

• 5:43Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 5:43Mark Normand?

  The Beatles would put an album out that all listen and go, oh my god, this is incredible, we gotta beat them. Then they would put out an album, the Beatles were like, what the fuck is this? Nobody knows. You know? Incredible. So they were all trying to top each other, and that, they say that's probably why some of their music was so good.

• 5:59Sam Morril?

  I heard an interview with Brian Wilson where he was like, I don't like Johnny Cash. And I think it was Charlie Rose, like, you don't like Johnny Cash? He's like, yeah, the voice is like not real to me. He's like putting it on. But it was like, look, I mean, I love Johnny Cash, but it's kinda cool to hear a guy who's just like, he can't help but be, he almost got that autistic level of honesty.

• 6:15Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 6:17Sam Morril?

  Where he's just like, nah, it's not for me.

• 6:18Mark Normand?

  He definitely had mental health shit before anyone thought about that, and he was a, he was a mess. He also did a ton of acid and fucked his brain up.

• 6:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but they have some fucking insane songs, man.

• 6:28Mark Normand?

  Beautiful.

• 6:28Sam Morril?

  I love the Beach Boys.

• 6:29Mark Normand?

  Great harmonies, incredible, yeah, just cool sound. He brought dogs into the studio to bark and use that. I mean, the guy was nuts.

• 6:36Sam Morril?

  I also love that stretch in Boogie Nights where they play God Only Knows.

• 6:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:40Sam Morril?

  Fucking, when you, when you nail the right song to the right montage, you're like, oh my god, this is fucking perfect.

• 6:47Mark Normand?

  That's true. That is so true. Uh, that song bombed too. It's crazy.

• 6:51Sam Morril?

  It's one of the best songs ever.

• 6:53Mark Normand?

  He put his heart and soul into that album and it bombed.

• 6:55Sam Morril?

  You open with, "I may not always love you."

• 6:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 6:58Sam Morril?

  What a fucking first line.

• 6:59Mark Normand?

  I know. Heavy, heavy. And all that, all the Beach Boy, he didn't even surf. He's like, "I hated the beach." It was all branding.

• 7:07Sam Morril?

  It's crazy.

• 7:07Mark Normand?

  Crazy. Um, what's that, Salakies?

• 7:11Speaker 03

  This is my favorite Rolling Stone cover of all time.

• 7:13Mark Normand?

  Of all time?

• 7:14Speaker 03

  All time.

• 7:15Mark Normand?

  Wow. Brother Brian.

• 7:17Speaker 03

  Yeah. Look how his toe comes off under the border there.

• 7:20Mark Normand?

  How about that? Alright.

• 7:22Sam Morril?

  So, that's three movies. What else we got?

• 7:24Mark Normand?

  Hold on, I'm blanking now.

• 7:26Sam Morril?

  We got Elephant Man, Last Boy Scout, uh...

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Beach Boy Duck.

• 7:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, Alien, the original Alien.

• 7:31Sam Morril?

  That's fun as hell.

• 7:32Mark Normand?

  Never really, I saw it as a kid, but never really, I was too scared to open one eye.

• 7:36Sam Morril?

  What a cast, too.

• 7:37Mark Normand?

  Great movie.

• 7:38Sam Morril?

  The great Harry Dean Stanton makes a little pop-up.

• 7:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Ya'fek Koto.

• 7:42Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  Uh, Ridley was written originally for a man. And, uh, Sigourney Weaver, uh, was so good.

• 7:50Sam Morril?

  Ripley, isn't it?

• 7:51Speaker 03

  What did I say? Ridley?

• 7:52Sam Morril?

  Ridley.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  Oh, Ridley Scott, did he? No, who directed it? Oh, yeah, Ripley. Ripley was originally written for a man. He liked her so much, he was like, "You're the man."

• 8:01Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  And that's why she's known by her last name only. She doesn't have a first name.

• 8:05Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 8:06Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 8:07Mark Normand?

  Well, it's also one of these movies where it's obviously a female lead, but you don't care. It's not like shoved on you. It's just, it's just a good movie.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  It was written for a man, that's why.

• 8:14Sam Morril?

  And she's a badass.

• 8:15Mark Normand?

  And she's a badass. Is she, though?

• 8:18Sam Morril?

  Kind of.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:20Sam Morril?

  I just dealt with a rat. I, I was not as composed when she dealt with a fucking alien, so. Who else? Uh, great cast. I'm missing some people. By the way, speaking of Ripley, it was on TV the other day. I just watched Talented Mr. Ripley start to finish. Such a, it's just an incredible fucking movie. And Philip Seymour Hoffman's cameo.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:39Sam Morril?

  I don't know if you call it a cameo. It's a smallish role, but he's such a funny, rich asshole. He just nails that type of douchebag.

• 8:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, that movie's great.

• 8:47Sam Morril?

  And they're so mean to him. I mean, he's still fucked up. He's murdering people, but like, you're like, I mean, they are pieces of shit.

• 8:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were all so good-looking. Like, young Matt Damon is ripped, and Jude Law, hubba hubba.

• 9:02Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I feel like that's the best he ever was too. I feel like he's really good in that.

• 9:05Mark Normand?

  He was great. He was great in Closer too, or Closer.

• 9:08Sam Morril?

  Closer's awesome.

• 9:09Mark Normand?

  Look at that. Boy, that is a handsome man. Look at that guy.

• 9:12Sam Morril?

  Damon, dude, I looked it up because I was watching my friend. He was like, Damon must have won the Oscar for this, right? I looked up, wasn't even nominated, dude. It was a bunch of like heavyweights. So he was going up against like Denzel and like Kevin Spacey, all these people who were like in their fucking bag at the moment, you know? But, uh.

• 9:28Mark Normand?

  But yeah, that flight was, uh.

• 9:30Sam Morril?

  We were missing one. What's the?

• 9:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, I can't remember the other movie. I was in and out. I took a lot of pills. Because I was trying to sleep through the whole fucking flight.

• 9:37Sam Morril?

  Sometimes it's nice to not have wifi though, because you're like, I have to pay attention to these movies.

• 9:40Mark Normand?

  That's true, and I loved it. I was like, I loved every movie. I was loving Alien. I loved Elephant Man is amazing.

• 9:45Sam Morril?

  And you're emo- I'm gonna watch it. You're also more emotional on a flight. When you're watching a movie, like, I'll fucking, I'll fucking cry and I feel like, you hit me, I'm like, oh fuck, I'll be that guy. Also, probably drunk. I mean, it's like, it's everything. You have a few drinks and you watch a classic movie, like, do I want Kramer versus Kramer on a flight?

• 10:02Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 10:03Sam Morril?

  And see what the fuck happens to you.

• 10:04Mark Normand?

  Forget about it. Well, it was one of the, you ever have this on a flight where you go over a certain country and you get, you get a bunch of texts, your texts just pop up, you're like, wait, wait, what? And you have one little bar and I got your text.

• 10:16Sam Morril?

  Uh.

• 10:16Mark Normand?

  And I was like, oh, you know, life outside of this plane. And then you were like, boy, you're really, uh, gay and emotional right now. And I was like, oh, maybe I am, but I was all drugged up.

• 10:27Sam Morril?

  Well, that's what happens when we travel like this. Like, I'll get texts from you though, I'm like, oh, this doesn't sound like Mark. But that's cool. It's kind of cool that like, I think this much travel and lack of sleep and like, it kind of opens like some level of vulnerability that maybe not all friendships have.

• 10:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and some booze.

• 10:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, and some booze, but you're like, I feel the same way. I'm traveling sometimes. I'm just like, fuck, it hits us how fortunate we are that we're just doing what we love and we're just, fuck, we're just having a good time.

• 10:52Mark Normand?

  You, you always say, you always, this life, man. You always write that. And I completely agree. You gotta be grateful. We, we did it.

• 10:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah, because I'm usually bummed when I write that, but I stand by it. It's, you know, you're just like, you're having a good night. I was just like, bombed at the cellar and just like having fun.

• 11:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:08Sam Morril?

  It's a good time, man.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  Mark has a great analogy where he says, uh, I came to New York with nothing. I played the game on hard and I won.

• 11:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. It's like the video game on hard.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:18Sam Morril?

  It's fucking incredible.

• 11:19Mark Normand?

  But yeah, Australia, I got a lot of thoughts. This place is a fascinating place. First of all, you don't tip there.

• 11:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 11:25Mark Normand?

  But the service is better. Isn't that interesting?

• 11:28Sam Morril?

  Hmm.

• 11:29Mark Normand?

  It's, it's like a psychology thing, like.

• 11:32Sam Morril?

  Like a girl who treats you like shit and you're like, please date me.

• 11:34Mark Normand?

  Right, yeah, yeah, well, I think because the tip is mandatory, so there's like an entitlement, like, who cares if I'm a piece of shit waiter, I'm gonna get tipped. Over there, they're like, this is just my job. So they do it, they do their job right. Here, I'm like, I'm scared to act, like, if they fuck up my food at a restaurant, I'm like, I'll just eat it. I don't, I don't want to fuck with waiters.

• 11:55Sam Morril?

  You go to a lot of places here and like, you know, it is, it's not mandatory, it's you give what the performance was, right? So you're like, I never give a bad tip, but if it's like, but if it's really good, I'll be like, oh, here's fucking extra. You know, so I think, I think some people bring it, you know?

• 12:09Mark Normand?

  Some people bring it, but, uh, I feel like over there, the, the customer service is just nicer, there's no crime, there's no garbage.

• 12:16Sam Morril?

  Well, they outlawed the guns over there.

• 12:17Mark Normand?

  They outlawed the guns after one shooting.

• 12:19Sam Morril?

  Kids.

• 12:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 12:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I think it was kids, wasn't it?

• 12:24Mark Normand?

  Pussies. I mean, we have kids die every day at a school shooting, these quitters. But, uh, yeah, it's great, Port Arthur, yeah, that was it, I put that in the act, of course. It would get an applause break every time, they, they're sick fucks. Now, here's the other crazy thing about.

• 12:39Sam Morril?

  It wasn't kids, I guess.

• 12:40Mark Normand?

  Other crazy thing about Australia is.

• 12:42Sam Morril?

  No, that was us.

• 12:43Mark Normand?

  That was us, yeah, that's our thing.

• 12:45Sam Morril?

  Jeez.

• 12:46Mark Normand?

  Don't, don't appropriate. But, uh, they, they, it's a kind of a nanny state, like, they have cameras everywhere, and if you don't wear your seatbelt in the car, they just send you a ticket. If they see you on your phone in your car, they send you a ticket.

• 13:00Sam Morril?

  Very passive aggressive.

• 13:01Mark Normand?

  They're very rule following there, like, I couldn't get drunk in Australia, because you go to a bar, and they do that, that horse shit where they measure it before they make a cocktail, I'm like, come on, just pour it, baby, live your life, and they're like, we can't, I'll get fired. And I yell at it, I was so annoyed at a bar after like the third night, I was like. You're supposed to be criminals. You were all criminals that were sent here.

• 13:21Sam Morril?

  By the way, this is a sign you have a drinking problem where you're like, you're measuring the alcohol? Shame on you.

• 13:27Mark Normand?

  Shame on you.

• 13:28Sam Morril?

  But I've done the same thing.

• 13:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and Americans-

• 13:31Sam Morril?

  You're like an Applebee's and you're like, where's the heart?

• 13:33Mark Normand?

  Yes, it's like, wear the condom, come on, put it in my ass, raw, dry anal. Give it to me dry, but they measure everything and it's all a bunch of rule-following sticklers over there. But I was like, you're supposed to be the, you're born from criminals. You were pushed, what do you call that, when you're exiled out to this island?

• 13:53Sam Morril?

  Forgot which battle it was, but I think it was MacArthur took, in World War II, they had to hide in Australia for a while. Remember, look it up.

• 14:00Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 14:00Sam Morril?

  They had to fucking hide, he escaped.

• 14:04Sam Morril?

  Maybe it wasn't World War II, maybe, look when it was, when MacArthur had to pull him out. They hid in Australia.

• 14:10Mark Normand?

  There you go. Did escape to Australia from the Philippines.

• 14:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 14:13Mark Normand?

  By the way, very close.

• 14:14Sam Morril?

  It was World War II, yeah, in March 1942, facing imminent capture by the Japanese. He was ordered by President Roosevelt to leave the Philippines and relocate to Australia. He famously declared, "I came through and I shall return upon arriving in Australia."

• 14:28Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 14:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah, would go.

• 14:31Mark Normand?

  And it's also crazy, the whole, the whole country is on the coast. The middle is just arid, death, desert shit. And it's all coastline.

• 14:39Sam Morril?

  What was your favorite part of Australia?

• 14:42Mark Normand?

  I gotta say, Melbourne is the most cool, culture-y, fun, cafes, it's almost kinda European. Sydney is like LA where it's like botox, blonde, rich people.

• 14:52Sam Morril?

  Right.

• 14:53Mark Normand?

  But Brisbane is the Florida, they say, and Brisbane might have been the most fun.

• 14:58Sam Morril?

  Brisbane, they call it Bris-Vegas, don't they?

• 14:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Brisneyland, too, they call it.

• 15:02Sam Morril?

  Well, yeah, that was probably my least favorite show I did there.

• 15:05Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 15:06Sam Morril?

  But I had fun there, I think Melbourne's my favorite.

• 15:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Melbourne might be the best city.

• 15:10Sam Morril?

  Melbourne's just so fucking cool.

• 15:11Mark Normand?

  Sydney might be the prettiest with that opera house, the bridge, the harbor.

• 15:15Sam Morril?

  On the water?

• 15:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but-

• 15:17Sam Morril?

  It's next level.

• 15:18Mark Normand?

  But yeah, Melbourne was the coolest, you go like down these alleys and there's a little coffee shop or a chocolate place or a croissant thing, it was so cool.

• 15:26Sam Morril?

  I think it just reminds me a little bit of New York, too.

• 15:29Mark Normand?

  Definitely.

• 15:29Sam Morril?

  It's got like a New York flavor, you walk everywhere, yeah, Australia's great, it's just such a fucking pain to get to, but-

• 15:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and then we had, we had great shows, we did the last one in Perth.

• 15:38Sam Morril?

  Perth. Never been.

• 15:40Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, Perth is a whole nother world. It's, they say you take one right turn and you're on Mars. That's what Perth is like.

• 15:47Sam Morril?

  Did you hit any New Zealand action?

• 15:48Mark Normand?

  I did, I went to Auckland.

• 15:49Sam Morril?

  Never been there either.

• 15:50Mark Normand?

  I started in Auckland, Auckland's wild.

• 15:52Sam Morril?

  Did you get a straight shot to Auckland?

• 15:54Mark Normand?

  Straight shot.

• 15:55Sam Morril?

  That's, I think that's the one straight shot there.

• 15:57Mark Normand?

  I think it is, yeah. Eighteen hours, not bad.

• 16:01Sam Morril?

  And it was, uh, that was a good time there?

• 16:04Mark Normand?

  It was great. I had this guy Keegan open for me out there. He's like the local funny guy and he brought me some drugs. And he crushed it up top and, uh, well, for sleeping, for sleeping. And it's hard to get shit out there, you know, you gotta know like a pirate because it's, look at that, it's in the middle of nowhere. I always say it's the aggressive Hawaii. It's like they're Hawaii, but they're like fucking scary. Hawaii, they hand you a lei, they go luau, this place, they're doing the haka, they got face tattoos. It's a whole different world, but they're nice people and I made fun of their whole thing and they love it.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  Which one has the Maori?

• 16:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the Maoris.

• 16:40Speaker 03

  Which is, which one, is that Australia or is that New Zealand?

• 16:41Mark Normand?

  That's New Zealand, that's the haka, they do it in the soccer game.

• 16:44Sam Morril?

  Cause you were there, I'm getting messages now, like, "When are you coming?" I'm like, "Fuck, I gotta, I gotta figure that out." Cause I, it wasn't that long ago, but I-

• 16:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you were quick, you were in and out. Everybody kept saying that. We had Sam here, he disappeared like Batman.

• 16:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I was fucking in and out, man. I, you know how these agents are, they just fucking bam bam bam. Also, I was, I think I was on the road so hard the year I went that I was just like, "I can't do a long..."

• 17:06Mark Normand?

  It's a lot.

• 17:06Sam Morril?

  I think I did it all in like a week or something, which is not, which is not how you're supposed to do Australia.

• 17:10Mark Normand?

  That's impressive.

• 17:11Sam Morril?

  But I still, I got like an extra day in each city, I think. But yeah, you want, you want a little, when you go that far, you want a little extra time.

• 17:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, I brought the lady out, we really, we made a meal out of it.

• 17:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 17:20Speaker 03

  Oh, this is Singapore right here?

• 17:22Mark Normand?

  It's so close.

• 17:23Speaker 03

  No wonder Ronnie has like a beef with like Australians in Singapore. They're like neighbors.

• 17:29Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, Jakarta is the closest city to Australia, isn't that crazy? Ours is like fucking Montreal or Mexico City, theirs is Jakarta.

• 17:37Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 17:37Sam Morril?

  So you, uh, you come home, you see the baby.

• 17:40Mark Normand?

  Yes, the baby gave me this one. Cause it's a little scary, cause he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions. He's only six months old, so he'll sometimes spaz out. But I show up and he goes-

• 17:53Mark Normand?

  It was one of those like, who the fuck are you? And then, oh yeah. And then I talked and he was like, ah! Boy, we hugged, we danced, we zerbert. I flipped him around, I did one of these, you know?

• 18:05Sam Morril?

  You shot him to a basketball hoop?

• 18:07Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 18:08Sam Morril?

  Nothing but net?

• 18:09Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, we had a great time. So I just couldn't let go of that baby. So I bathed it, I put it down, we had a good day.

• 18:17Sam Morril?

  I did the same thing with my rat. I said, oh, it's been a few hours. Come here, buddy. There he is, piece of shit. Fuck you dude. Fuck you.

• 18:26Mark Normand?

  We gotta name him.

• 18:28Sam Morril?

  Raul.

• 18:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, Raul. There you go. I like it.

• 18:30Sam Morril?

  So we, I went away for a few days. I just, you know, I never get out of the city and it's like, sometimes in the city it gets a little hot. My buddy Chase and I were like, let's just fucking go to like a weird, let's go to like a lake and just fucking chill. And I'll work, I'll like write and I'll chill and paddleboard and do some, we'll do stuff that's just chill.

• 18:48Mark Normand?

  Imagine telling you this eight years ago. You would never believe it. This is gross.

• 18:51Sam Morril?

  Well, wait to hear how long, wait to hear how long I lasted there.

• 18:54Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 18:55Sam Morril?

  So I go there, you know, it's a nice place, but it's all fucking old people. Cause I'm like, this is what I was like, I'll just do this. We're on the lake and I was like, let's paddleboard. That's a good thing to do is to paddleboard. We'll do that. So some guy gives me an oar and you know, we're on there, we're paddling. I realize, five minutes in, I'm like, this fucking oar is broken. He gave me a broken fucking oar. I can't paddle. It doesn't like, it's flimsy. It breaks. So I was like, fuck, this could be an issue. All right, whatever. I'm fine. I'll just figure it out. The current takes us so fucking far. I shit you not, we're a mile and a half out.

• 19:28Mark Normand?

  This is the one where you stand on it?

• 19:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:29Mark Normand?

  Okay, yeah.

• 19:30Sam Morril?

  Well, you can also just sit on it. You can do whatever, but it's kind of fun, but.

• 19:33Mark Normand?

  It's fun.

• 19:33Sam Morril?

  Fun when you got a paddle that works. The current takes me all the way, it's a fucking strong current. Takes me all the way out. Chase is there with me and he's like, dude, I have a working paddle. This current's pretty brutal. I think we're kind of fucked.

• 19:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 19:45Sam Morril?

  So I was like, what do we do? So, uh, yeah, I literally, by the way, he wouldn't wear a fucking life preserver. And I mentioned Malcolm Jamal Warner and he was like, fine. That's how I got into the life reserve. I'm like, the fucking Cosby guy just died, dude. Just fucking throw on a life reserve. He's like, fine. And then when we were stuck out there, he was like, thank God you talked me into that. Could have been bad. We're stuck out there. We can't get to this. The waves are so strong. We can't get to fucking, even with his working one, he's like, this is pretty tough.

• 20:11Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 20:11Sam Morril?

  We can't get back.

• 20:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 20:13Sam Morril?

  So I'm like, just, I'm screaming. I'm, I'm getting taken away further because I have no working thing. I have no paddle. So I'm like, just fucking get to shore. We'll figure it out. Just get to shore. That's the move here. So he makes it and I'm like, fuck, I have to put the paddle down. It's broken. I just start swimming on the fucking paddleboard. And I'm swimming like a motherfucker, you know, like, I'm like, thank God, because I'm not a fast swimmer. I'm a city kid, but, you know, I, I'll do laps on the road sometimes. So I at least have endurance there. So I'm fucking fighting and I somehow get to the fucking, I get to the shore.

• 20:43Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 20:44Sam Morril?

  And we're just like, that fucking sucked. And there's a construction guy and he's like, here's a, here's a two by four you can get back with. I'm like, dude, I'm not. I'm not getting back with a two by, I'm like, I, and he's like, all right, fine. I'll fucking, I'll, I'll drive you back on my boat. And we're like, thank you, dude. Thank you so much. Drives us back. He's, at first he's like, fuck these guys, these dumb city hick idiots. But then I was like, has that ever happened to you? He's like, yeah, the current's a bitch out here. Like, it has happened.

• 21:09Mark Normand?

  No warning from the guy that fucking gave you the paddles?

• 21:11Sam Morril?

  Nothing. And he gave me a broken paddle.

• 21:13Mark Normand?

  Damn, you're up Shit's Creek.

• 21:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah. So he gets us back and I was like, dude, I owe you big time. Can I, can I go to my room and get, I don't have cash for me. I'm in a bathing suit. But can I get you, like, can I give you money? And he was just like, just leave me a bottle of something. And I was like, all right. We left him three bottles, you know, appreciate it. Left it on the dock. That was his dock. And I get back. No, they left their shit in the room. I had like a vodka, I had like a wine. I just left some. But I was like, uh, I see the guy. And it's like a kid doing a summer job. He doesn't give a fuck. So I was like, dude, you gave me a broken paddle. And he goes, oh, yeah, all right. I'm like, there's nowhere for my rage to go.

• 21:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:49Sam Morril?

  He doesn't care.

• 21:50Mark Normand?

  I hate that.

• 21:51Sam Morril?

  I hated that. But then I was like, but then we're there another, so we're there like two nights and we got there late one night, then another night. Then the third day, we're supposed to have been there another night. And I'm like, I'm fucking bored, dude. It's raining. I was like, you want to just drive back to the city and get fucking hammered in the village? And he was like, yeah. We left immediate. We made it two nights.

• 22:07Mark Normand?

  Ah, two is pretty good.

• 22:08Sam Morril?

  Two's not bad, but that's fucking, that's, that's my travel, that's my non-comedy travel for this year.

• 22:13Mark Normand?

  That's like a near-death experience, I have to say.

• 22:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's not, it's not, it was just, I wasn't.

• 22:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, was it a lake?

• 22:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Oh. No, I wasn't panicked. I wasn't pan- I wasn't like scared. I was just like, this is fucking annoying. Oh, it's annoying. Yes, okay. No, no. Ocean, ocean, I would have been fucking dead. That's what I'm saying. No, no. Lake, I was, it was just annoying. I was just like, this paddle isn't working. I can't get back. No, it wasn't fucking like.

• 22:34Mark Normand?

  That's the worst horror movie of all time. We're stuck in the lake on a paddleboard. We, the paddle was broken.

• 22:41Sam Morril?

  No, even in the movie Lake Placid, they had to throw in like a wild animal.

• 22:44Mark Normand?

  Yes, of course.

• 22:45Sam Morril?

  It wasn't just a lake.

• 22:46Mark Normand?

  I saw a guppy.

• 22:48Sam Morril?

  No, no, no. It was just fucking annoying. That's all it was. But, uh, but yeah, I came back. We just got fucking lit up in the, that's what I was.

• 22:54Mark Normand?

  You're gonna get hammered in the village. I love that.

• 22:56Sam Morril?

  Go back to the city and just get fucking lit up. He's like, yeah.

• 22:58Mark Normand?

  You couldn't even get hammered there.

• 22:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but it was boring. You get hammered around fun people in the village.

• 23:02Mark Normand?

  I'm with you. That, that nature shit, me and the lady during COVID were like, hey, the world shut down. Let's get a cabin upstate in the woods. We'll, we'll fuck. We'll, we'll get drunk. We'll make meals.

• 23:13Sam Morril?

  If I had a woman with me, it would have been different.

• 23:15Mark Normand?

  Well, two days in, there was no. You've, you've gone in every hole. You've done every position. You're like, what are we doing? Sorry, this cousin. But, uh, alright.

• 23:26Sam Morril?

  Mark's just trying to fuck her ear. He's like, hold on, let me see. See if I can come real quick.

• 23:30Mark Normand?

  And then here's the clinker. There was no TV in the fucking cabin. So I was like.

• 23:33Sam Morril?

  Oh my god. What are you supposed to do when you're coming back reloading for the next round?

• 23:36Mark Normand?

  I know. It was like misery.

• 23:38Sam Morril?

  No TV in my room either.

• 23:39Mark Normand?

  Breaking her legs.

• 23:40Sam Morril?

  Oh dude, we, we were playing ping pong. We were trying to be like, we were trying to be, we went to town there. There was like a nice little town. The food was pretty good.

• 23:46Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 23:46Sam Morril?

  But like, yeah, I'm just there with my buddy. At a certain point, I'm like, I want to get fucking hammered around like people.

• 23:51Mark Normand?

  They didn't have a local dive you could go to with a bunch of fishermen?

• 23:53Sam Morril?

  It was, it was fucking, it would, no. If there were fishermen, I would have gotten fucking hammered with the fishermen. But it was dead. It was all dead.

• 23:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I, I'm the same way though. If it's boring, it's boring. Like, what are we doing? I'm just looking at my phone in the cab. I can look at my phone in my apartment.

• 24:05Sam Morril?

  I saw Colin Quinn at the cellar and we were talking about it and he was just like, you're a fucking city kid. You can't manage without like a ton of stimulation. It's like, you're, you're not why, you, you, he's like, I'm the same way. I can't do it.

• 24:17Mark Normand?

  I'm the same way. I'm with you. I have no, no like, uh, like, well, they, we went hiking in, uh, New Zealand called the Blue Mountains. It was beautiful. But I'm just hiking and I'm like, well now what do we do? We're just walking? It's just a walk. What is hiking? Then we call it hiking, like it's this big thing. It's just, you're just walking through the woods. I hate the term hiking.

• 24:36Sam Morril?

  I went on the, on the Bluetooth. Mountain, I'll tell ya. Said you wanna fuck it.

• 24:39Mark Normand?

  Your orc could've used a blue chew. That thing was limp, but yeah.

• 24:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it was awful.

• 24:44Mark Normand?

  It was great, the hike was great.

• 24:46Sam Morril?

  No, I was, I, I, I'm cool with, yeah, if I hiked, it would've been cool. We, we actually were driving back and there was like some cool mountains. I'm like, if we did this shit, it would've been more fun. I fucked up. I, I'm not good at planning stuff.

• 24:56Mark Normand?

  I'm not either, I hate planning.

• 24:58Sam Morril?

  You need a woman to plan stuff. But then she plans bad shit.

• 25:00Mark Normand?

  That's true. We're going to jazz brunch.

• 25:02Sam Morril?

  Jazz brunch, oh my god.

• 25:05Mark Normand?

  Jesus Christ.

• 25:06Sam Morril?

  Can, can I do heroin?

• 25:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 25:08Sam Morril?

  Awful.

• 25:09Mark Normand?

  So, yeah, yeah. The, the hike was cool, but again, it's one of those things where you're like, so now what?

• 25:15Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 25:16Mark Normand?

  You know, and it was, he's like, look at the landscape. I'm like, I got it.

• 25:19Sam Morril?

  I know, but god, think about how fucking, it, it's only gonna get worse. I mean, we're just overstimulated. You're, you're literally around nature, you're on a hike and you're like, and?

• 25:27Mark Normand?

  I, exa- and, it's the same with the beach.

• 25:29Sam Morril?

  But it's, but it's literally, you're taken in nature, you're supposed, that's what it's supposed to be.

• 25:33Mark Normand?

  That's true, that's true.

• 25:34Sam Morril?

  We're fucking, we're, something's wrong with us.

• 25:36Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, yeah, we're, we're, we're a mess, but. My thing is with the beach, I sit down with all the shit, I look at the ocean, I go, got it, let's go. And they go, no, we gotta build a sand castle, we gotta swim, we gotta collect rocks and.

• 25:49Sam Morril?

  We're the worst. Dude, we literally showed up to like, we showed up to a beach in Sydney, we're like, yeah, I get what you're doing here, let's get out of here, let's get fucking hammered at some bar.

• 25:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. No, I'm with you, I mean.

• 25:59Sam Morril?

  Let's get shitfaced in the hotel lobby.

• 26:01Mark Normand?

  Well, it's the same.

• 26:02Sam Morril?

  We literally flew around the world to get drunk in a lobby.

• 26:04Mark Normand?

  That sounds great. Now that's a night. But you remember when List would set up those, uh, those Central Park hangs?

• 26:10Sam Morril?

  Do I remember? You fucking bailed on one.

• 26:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I, I couldn't do it.

• 26:14Sam Morril?

  This is, do you know this story?

• 26:15Mark Normand?

  I went to a couple.

• 26:16Sam Morril?

  Mark, Mark, he threw a birthday.

• 26:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, this was bad.

• 26:20Sam Morril?

  List throws a birthday party for Mark in Central Park and everyone shows up except Mark.

• 26:26Mark Normand?

  I didn't wanna go.

• 26:27Sam Morril?

  Mark, Mark took a flight to some gig and Joe's like, Mark, where are you? And you're like, oh, I left town.

• 26:33Mark Normand?

  I was in Buffalo.

• 26:33Sam Morril?

  And he was like, I threw a birthday for you. We were all cracking up, cuz he was so fucking upset.

• 26:38Mark Normand?

  He was pissed.

• 26:39Sam Morril?

  But we were like, doc, we're like, this is hilarious. You're like, Mark didn't want a fucking birthday?

• 26:43Mark Normand?

  No! I wanna go do a gig, eh, upstate. But yeah, he was, he was, that was a fight.

• 26:49Sam Morril?

  I know, I fucking, yeah.

• 26:52Mark Normand?

  That was like our first big fight, bro. But, uh, but yeah, yeah, that, that, that's, I don't know, I get to the park and I go, now what? We're just sitting here. Like, we could've done this at the cellar. Where there's food and drinks.

• 27:04Sam Morril?

  Well, that's the thing is like, we're nocturnal creatures.

• 27:07Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 27:07Sam Morril?

  When people, I've had people say like, they're shocked to see me during the day. I'm not like a out in the day. They're like, oh my god, you in shorts? I'm like, yeah, it's rare.

• 27:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, that, that's true. But that's what's good about women. Like, my wife will be like, "We're going to Portsmouth this weekend."

• 27:21Sam Morril?

  Portsmouth is nice.

• 27:22Mark Normand?

  Portsmouth is very nice.

• 27:23Sam Morril?

  A little bougie, too.

• 27:24Mark Normand?

  Is it?

• 27:25Sam Morril?

  It's a little bougie.

• 27:25Mark Normand?

  A little bougie, but alright. But I'm like, oh, it's a cute town. I'm Googling, eh, this is really pretty. And then you get there and you're like, "Alright, now what?"

• 27:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you're like, you feel, you feel a little bit, uh, duped.

• 27:36Mark Normand?

  A little duped?

• 27:36Sam Morril?

  You're a little duped. You're like, yeah, I'm just fucking you in a different location.

• 27:39Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 27:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  How about that, Herman?

• 27:43Mark Normand?

  Well, it's like that, uh, that, was it Sandler? Who had that great bit about how, when you go to Hawaii, you still have your brain?

• 27:49Sam Morril?

  Oh, it's, it's an SNL thing with Sandler.

• 27:50Mark Normand?

  It's an SNL thing, that's a great point.

• 27:51Sam Morril?

  You're still gonna be you.

• 27:53Mark Normand?

  You're still you. You think, "I'll go to Hawaii, I'll figure it all out, I'll relax, I'll have a Corona with the waves and the palm tree." You still hate yourself.

• 28:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah, well, that's the thing is like, I mean, I remember being in Greece with a woman I was dating.

• 28:04Mark Normand?

  I remember this.

• 28:05Sam Morril?

  And I was reading a fucking book on Putin by the pool in Santorini, and she's like, "What's wrong with you?" And I was like, "This is how I am, I guess. I don't know, I guess I'm joyless."

• 28:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 28:14Sam Morril?

  "I'm sorry, I'm fucking joyless. You got me."

• 28:16Mark Normand?

  In The Beach Boys, Doc, this was the cool part, is Brian Wilson, "These guys are blowing up, they're making millions of dollars, they're going on the road." All the brothers, they're all related. They're all getting laid, they're like, "This is crazy, we're fucking every chick in the world, we're getting screamed at." He's like, "I wanna go back home." And like, "Are you nuts? You wanna go home?"

• 28:33Sam Morril?

  Brian Wilson?

• 28:34Mark Normand?

  Brian Wilson. He's like the leader, the old brother, and they're, he's like, "I just wanna go home and write music." And they're like, "We got it made! We got the world by the pool, we're in a jumbo jet, we got whores everywhere."

• 28:44Sam Morril?

  The band needs that. You need that guy who's that fucking committed and obsessed with music, and that's why they're good.

• 28:50Mark Normand?

  So he convinced him, he goes, "I'll go home and write all the music, you guys go get laid and get drunk. When you come back, you'll have the music ready, and then you'll have a new hour when you go tour." So it kinda worked out, but...

• 29:00Sam Morril?

  I remember hearing a story back in the day about the actor William Peterson, you know? Like Man Hunter and uh.

• 29:05Mark Normand?

  Pull him up.

• 29:06Sam Morril?

  He's in a lot of great movies. He's uh fucking To Live and Die L.A.

• 29:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 29:10Sam Morril?

  He's awesome actor, but I guess he got offered Platoon.

• 29:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, that guy.

• 29:14Sam Morril?

  The role Platoon that Charlie Sheen took and he was like, fuck that shit. And he did some like crappy L.A. movie. Cause like, no, I just, you would think I want to go to Vietnam or wherever the hell they're filming, filming. I'll just fucking bang models and film movies in L.A. I don't care if they're good. And, and, and I'm at the age where I'm like, I get it.

• 29:31Mark Normand?

  I totally get it.

• 29:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 29:32Mark Normand?

  You're not only gonna be able to do that, uh, you know, when you're young, like, my parents, I hope they never hear this. They went to Paris. They're like, we're going on a family trip to Paris. And my first thought was, I'm gonna get out of this, this trip and have a party at the house. And I faked sick like.

• 29:47Sam Morril?

  Your dad's like, perfect. I'll fuck her ear hole. This'll be awesome.

• 29:51Mark Normand?

  I faked sick like Ferris Bueller and I had a big rager at the house. It was awesome.

• 29:55Sam Morril?

  Your risky business moment.

• 29:57Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly.

• 29:58Sam Morril?

  I did the same thing. When I went to Tulane, uh, freshman year, Katrina hits. And my parents had like a fucking first vacation forever planned. They go to Europe. I have the house to myself. So thank God for Katrina. I got to have some parties.

• 30:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 30:14Sam Morril?

  It all worked out.

• 30:16Mark Normand?

  Wait, you went into New York and had a party?

• 30:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, nice.

• 30:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it all worked out.

• 30:20Mark Normand?

  Damn, that's great. Alright, have a good one, guys.

• 30:23Sam Morril?

  See ya.

• 30:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that, that party, it had to happen, but it just shows your priorities in life.

• 30:30Sam Morril?

  Well, when you're a kid, you're very immature. Yep.

• 30:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and you wanna get drunk.

• 30:34Sam Morril?

  You wanna get drunk and you wanna get laid and you don't, you have no space.

• 30:38Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 30:38Sam Morril?

  One of the great objectives in life is getting your own space.

• 30:42Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 30:43Sam Morril?

  So you get space, you know, when you have your own place, but you have roommates for years.

• 30:47Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 30:48Sam Morril?

  Then you get your own space.

• 30:49Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 30:49Sam Morril?

  And then you're just like, this is fucking amazing. But then eventually, you probably get married.

• 30:55Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 30:55Sam Morril?

  You lose some of your space.

• 30:56Mark Normand?

  That's true. Then you have a kid, you lose even more space.

• 30:58Sam Morril?

  So you gotta get your space back. So you have, that's why people like romanticize a fucking dumb thing like a man cave. You're like, well, this is a, a place just for me. This is my thing.

• 31:07Mark Normand?

  Yes, good point.

• 31:09Sam Morril?

  But you know, uh.

• 31:10Mark Normand?

  I hate that term, but it's true.

• 31:12Sam Morril?

  It's such a dumb term.

• 31:14Mark Normand?

  I hate it, it's embarrassing.

• 31:15Sam Morril?

  It's awful.

• 31:15Mark Normand?

  But it's a good, it's a good thing to have.

• 31:17Sam Morril?

  But I'm like, I realized like my apartment is like, is a total bachelor pad. It's made for just a dude alone. It's not made for like.

• 31:24Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 31:24Sam Morril?

  You know, it's like.

• 31:25Mark Normand?

  That's a great apartment though. Every guy walks in there and they go, oh, this is awesome.

• 31:28Sam Morril?

  It's fun, it's fun, but.

• 31:30Mark Normand?

  You got the big TV, you got the, the fold out couch, you got the bar, you got the home theater, you got it all.

• 31:36Sam Morril?

  It's fun, it's fun. But it's also like at a certain point that, that gets old too. You need to keep mixing it up. So at a certain point, I'd love to be in a relationship again, you know?

• 31:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, my, my house now, I built a, an office. And that office is like, it's kind of my man cave, but also an office, but also a getaway.

• 31:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah, what's the setup like?

• 31:53Mark Normand?

  Oh, it's great. I got a big couch in there. I got a big desk. I got all my shit on the walls, all my memorabilia, photos of us and albums and everything. And I got a big closet full of, uh, video stuff. We shoot my, uh, we shoot Tuesdays in there. So it's just a.

• 32:08Sam Morril?

  Nice.

• 32:08Mark Normand?

  It's a great little getaway. And also if you say, I'm going to my office, people are like, oh shit, leave him alone.

• 32:13Sam Morril?

  He's working.

• 32:14Mark Normand?

  He's working.

• 32:15Sam Morril?

  Meanwhile, you're fucking, you lock the door, you're rubbing one out.

• 32:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly, exactly. So you gotta have it. You gotta have a space.

• 32:21Sam Morril?

  You need space. I mean, but it is amazing, like, you know, I remember those parties when you're growing up, you just need, you're just like, oh my God, the house is mine for this moment. You feel like a fucking adult.

• 32:34Mark Normand?

  I know, and that's why guys go to like lookout mountain or whatever with their girl and they neck in the car or, uh, you know, you.

• 32:41Sam Morril?

  Lookout Mountain.

• 32:42Mark Normand?

  That, that was a big thing in like the west coast, you know, they drive to like some point and make out in the car.

• 32:46Sam Morril?

  You get stabbed by the Zodiac Killer.

• 32:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 32:48Sam Morril?

  But you might get your dick sucked.

• 32:49Mark Normand?

  You might, it was worth it.

• 32:50Sam Morril?

  Gotta roll the dice.

• 32:51Mark Normand?

  That's how much guys wanted to get away and get their dick sucked. They're like, look, there's a killer out here, but I'll roll the dice.

• 32:57Sam Morril?

  You gotta.

• 32:58Mark Normand?

  But yeah, so yeah, you need a, you need to spend, that's why guys, we would hang out in like parking lots when I was a kid, just cause you're like, I need to get somewhere.

• 33:04Sam Morril?

  Smoking blunts in Central Park, wherever the fuck we could get away with it, just fucking whatever is.

• 33:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 33:09Sam Morril?

  Wherever we're not gonna be seen.

• 33:11Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 33:12Sam Morril?

  You just wanna be away from shit.

• 33:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, when I first moved to New York, it was all roofs. We'd go up on the roof of every building. It was always, we were always on the roof drinking.

• 33:18Sam Morril?

  Roofs are still cool.

• 33:20Mark Normand?

  I love a roof.

• 33:20Sam Morril?

  I love a roof. I love it cause you get a view. It's a party with a view.

• 33:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and you're reminded like, oh shit, I'm in New York.

• 33:27Sam Morril?

  And it's kinda seasonal. You don't get a roof year round unless you're one of those places that drops crazy money on like heating lamps and shit.

• 33:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, no, we didn't have that.

• 33:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah, no, I mean, like, but some like bars do that shit.

• 33:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, true.

• 33:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but like, no, a roof is seasonal, or you just throw on your jacket. I remember doing roofs during COVID, you're just like, I'm fucking doing stand up in like a winter jacket.

• 33:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 33:47Sam Morril?

  Everyone here is freezing. A lot of pressure to be good, and I wasn't. So.

• 33:53Mark Normand?

  Well, COVID was a tough time. I mean, tough time for comedy. Um, just, you had to go to like, do video content, like, you, you did it great, you put out a special. And, uh, you just had to get creative. It kinda separated the, the men from the boys a little bit of like, who's gonna step up and figure something out here?

• 34:12Sam Morril?

  Just gotta keep fucking, gotta keep working, man. I mean, it's also like, what else are we gonna do? It's like, life is so fucking boring without stand up. I love doing this shit. You also think about like, what these ancients settlers back, way back in the day, like, what did they do for entertainment before they had phones and all this shit? They, they gathered around and they played music and shit. It's the same thing when you're not allowed to get together. That's why I think we had this boom after COVID. People were like, holy shit, I get to go out again. That's why we were all selling tickets through the roof.

• 34:42Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 34:42Sam Morril?

  And that's why it's kind of, you know, hit a plateau a little bit, but I think it'll, it'll come back at some point.

• 34:48Mark Normand?

  Totally, totally. And I think there was, uh, the, the government's crazy, just the world got kinda crazy, and so they wanna hear someone joke about it. Which is healthy.

• 34:58Sam Morril?

  We need that shit.

• 34:59Mark Normand?

  And I think HR kinda went up. HR went up, fun went down, so comedy, I have a theory, and I, hold on, buckle up. Tell me what you think about this.

• 35:08Sam Morril?

  I'm fucking buckled, dude.

• 35:09Mark Normand?

  I think, I've been watching a lot of these old, these old rock documentaries, like Led Zeppelin and whatnot, Beach Boys. The early 60s is Mad Men. It's buttoned up, it's fucking gel cream, or what, a brill cream in the hair. It's, uh, get a haircut, shave, you know, tuck your shirt in.

• 35:27Sam Morril?

  Do your job.

• 35:28Mark Normand?

  Yes. And then, it was very Christian, puritanical, and then it became, so then these kids like broke out and they're like, "I got, I'm getting long hair, I'm rock and roll, I'm free love, I'm fucking everybody, I'm doing acid." And that became this cultural, "Holy shit, everything's changing." Comedy, rock is dead. Who's going to see, who's, who's the last rock band? The Strokes? That was 15 years ago.

• 35:52Sam Morril?

  Are there no new rock bands? I mean, I'm fu- now I sound, I sound like a fucking old person.

• 35:55Mark Normand?

  I'm sure there are, but they're not, they're not what they were. They're not like grabbing you by the balls. Look at that.

• 36:01Sam Morril?

  Wow, that's crazy, because everything that comes up is older.

• 36:04Mark Normand?

  This is old shit. Green Day? Get out of here. Coldplay? I don't even count that as rock. Alright, we got some fat lady with dreads. Eh, I'm talking about, give me some fucking, uh, something that really rocks the nation. So I think comedy came in and just swooped that up because back then, taboo was, uh, you know, counterculture, the devil, having long hair. Yeah, a lot about the devil, leather pants, weird clothes, a beard. Now taboo is words. And I think comics come in and say some, I'm not saying you just go up there and go fucked up words, but...

• 36:44Sam Morril?

  There's also ways that comics can reach their audience in ways that musicians can't, because, you know, how many musicians have a podcast? How many musicians are like direct to consumer like that? You know, like, we can only, you know, musicians, how many, how many albums can you put out? Whereas, we're the same way. It's, it's, a special is what? An hour, an hour and a half, two years if you're fucking really on top of it? Right? But you know, you can kind of do other stuff.

• 37:09Mark Normand?

  You can do other stuff, and we can talk. I think if you got Metallica in here, it wouldn't be that funny.

• 37:13Sam Morril?

  I think we got Pitch somewhere. I think a Metallica guy could probably talk.

• 37:17Mark Normand?

  I would like to have Metallica, don't get me wrong.

• 37:18Sam Morril?

  But they don't need to either. They're probably just like, I'll tour and just make way more money.

• 37:23Mark Normand?

  But to your point, I think-

• 37:24Sam Morril?

  But they're grandfathered in. It's like what you're talking about.

• 37:27Mark Normand?

  We can, you get Theo in here and he just, he's riffing and rapping, he's bullshitting, it's funny. So, you can grab an audience now, you got a parasocial, parasocial relationship. Is that the word?

• 37:41Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay. I heard this documentary is amazing about Metallica. I forgot the name of it.

• 37:46Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah.

• 37:47Mark Normand?

  If you said the name, I'd know it. Metallica Doc. Some kinda monster. Everybody says it's amazing Doc.

• 37:53Sam Morril?

  I never really got into it.

• 37:54Mark Normand?

  I don't like the band that much either.

• 37:56Sam Morril?

  They have a couple of songs I love, but I just, yeah, never really got into it heavy.

• 38:00Mark Normand?

  It's too heavy for me. It's too like. Enter die.

• 38:05Sam Morril?

  That's the song I liked though, because Mariano Rivera from the Yankees used to come out to it.

• 38:09Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 38:09Sam Morril?

  That was his entrance song. We were like, oh shit, Enter Sandman.

• 38:12Mark Normand?

  It's a great song. It's just, it's just too cringy for me. I'm like, eh, it's too dark and whatever.

• 38:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, there's a lot of bands like, look, I never got into, and I feel like, I feel like embarrassed I don't know more about Ozzy, because he seems cool as fuck.

• 38:25Mark Normand?

  Ozzy I love.

• 38:26Sam Morril?

  Everything I've heard I really like, but I just don't know him like, you know, a lot of people do. I never got into like Kiss. I never got into like, a lot of the, the heavy shit, but I don't, I feel, I cringe even talking about music, because I'm such a, like, I love movies and comedy so much. You know, but if I talk about music, I'm like, someone listens, this guy doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.

• 38:44Mark Normand?

  Right, right. Same. But like Ozzy, uh, the song Paranoid is like one of the great rap songs.

• 38:51Sam Morril?

  Oh, it's incredible.

• 38:52Mark Normand?

  Incredible, yeah. He was, and you know what's weird about Ozzy? He's the prince of darkness, quote unquote. If you listen to the, the song Crazy Train, it opens by saying, "We gotta learn how to love and forget how to hate." It's all about like progressive get together, like let's be friends and stop hating each other.

• 39:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah, his message isn't dark. He's just dark.

• 39:12Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 39:13Sam Morril?

  Like, his vibe is dark.

• 39:15Mark Normand?

  Very lovey dovey message.

• 39:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he seemed like a lovely guy for everything I hear. I mean, like.

• 39:20Mark Normand?

  He did.

• 39:21Sam Morril?

  I mean.

• 39:22Mark Normand?

  Although, you ever see that Howard Stern with him where Sharon, he brought Sharon to China for the first time. He was on some tour. And she's like, "And then Ozzy disappeared for five hours and he came back, turns out he was a hooker. He was with a hooker." And Howard's like, "Doesn't that bother you?" And he's like, she's like, "Well, he's a rock star. That's what they do." And then Ozzy's like, "I don't even remember."

• 39:44Mark Normand?

  It's hilarious, but she was a very, very freewheeling, very lax.

• 39:49Sam Morril?

  I think when you're with someone like that, you just fucking, you make your peace with it.

• 39:53Mark Normand?

  I guess so.

• 39:54Sam Morril?

  I mean, how about George Harrison and, uh... Eric Clapton, man.

• 39:58Mark Normand?

  What is that?

• 39:59Sam Morril?

  Well, he just, Layla, that's the woman he stole from him. And they stayed friends.

• 40:03Mark Normand?

  I didn't even know that.

• 40:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 40:05Mark Normand?

  Holy shit.

• 40:06Sam Morril?

  I mean, I think you're just like, yeah, we're fucking rock stars, this shit happens.

• 40:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:10Sam Morril?

  I mean, comedians, we are not the same.

• 40:12Mark Normand?

  No, that does not work with us.

• 40:15Sam Morril?

  You get some good material out of it, though.

• 40:17Mark Normand?

  That's true, that's true, yeah.

• 40:19Sam Morril?

  But Layla, that's like fucking, you know.

• 40:22Mark Normand?

  But yeah, what a, what a, we had a threeer, three banger there. Malcolm Jamal, Hulk Hogan, and Ozzy.

• 40:27Sam Morril?

  Fuck.

• 40:28Mark Normand?

  One week.

• 40:29Sam Morril?

  Hogan, that was, wrestlers just don't live long.

• 40:33Mark Normand?

  He lived less than Ozzy.

• 40:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah, 71.

• 40:36Mark Normand?

  And Ozzy was doing drugs and drinking for 50 years.

• 40:38Sam Morril?

  But Hogan's doing drugs, dude. You don't get that big at that age.

• 40:40Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 40:41Sam Morril?

  Whatever you're putting in your body to be that big at that age is not fucking that. Like, I don't look at Hulk Hogan as the picture of health.

• 40:47Mark Normand?

  Nah, true.

• 40:48Sam Morril?

  Like, I'm like, he's jacked, he's huge.

• 40:49Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 40:50Sam Morril?

  But I'm not like, that's good.

• 40:51Mark Normand?

  No, it's a lot of roids, a lot of pain pills, I'm sure.

• 40:55Sam Morril?

  I mean, yeah, pull him on shirtless, like an old Hogan shirtless. It doesn't look right. You're defying nature to a point that it's like, this is not good.

• 41:04Mark Normand?

  He's also gotta be, what, 6'7"?

• 41:07Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 41:07Mark Normand?

  Taller people tend to not last.

• 41:09Sam Morril?

  Fuck.

• 41:10Mark Normand?

  Oof. Well, you're, I'm talking tall, tall. Like, you're a normal tall.

• 41:15Sam Morril?

  Alright.

• 41:15Mark Normand?

  I'm talking like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

• 41:17Sam Morril?

  He's still going.

• 41:18Mark Normand?

  Is he?

• 41:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Kareem's alive.

• 41:20Mark Normand?

  I don't want him to die, I'm just saying. I think tall people die quicker, sorry, Peters.

• 41:24Sam Morril?

  Bill Russell made it to the mid 80s.

• 41:27Mark Normand?

  Who?

• 41:27Sam Morril?

  Bill Russell, the basketball player? Yeah, he looks, yeah, zoom in here. What are we looking at here?

• 41:34Mark Normand?

  I just feel like you rarely see a, like a 6'7" guy at an old folks home.

• 41:39Sam Morril?

  That's fair.

• 41:42Mark Normand?

  Oh, that looks bad.

• 41:43Sam Morril?

  I mean, what is with the beard? What was he doing?

• 41:46Mark Normand?

  I think he bleaches the mustache and he just kinda let it go for a few days.

• 41:51Sam Morril?

  It's funny, I saw that guy Bubba the Love Sponge, you know, he had beef with, and it's just funny that like, when you die and you live in Tampa, you got people called Bubba the Love Sponge, like, "I wish we passed it up, man."

• 42:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, the Hulkster and Bubba.

• 42:04Sam Morril?

  Bubba the Love Sponge.

• 42:06Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 42:06Sam Morril?

  "Ah, man, we should've put our egos aside."

• 42:10Mark Normand?

  What is a love sponge? What does that mean?

• 42:11Sam Morril?

  I don't know.

• 42:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, he's 59.

• 42:14Sam Morril?

  What is a love sponge? But you're really looking, God bless you.

• 42:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 42:18Sam Morril?

  A person who's charming and attractive soaking up attention and affection.

• 42:21Mark Normand?

  Ah, that makes sense.

• 42:22Sam Morril?

  Or a radio show hosted by Bubba the Love Sponge. Known for his controversial and outrageous content. Alright.

• 42:28Mark Normand?

  Well, Shock Jock was big in the name of you. Stern and Opiate Anthony and Love Sponge. That was, uh, Don Imus. That was big back then.

• 42:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 42:37Mark Normand?

  Feel like we've taken over that mantle?

• 42:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I guess. It was never something that appealed to me.

• 42:42Mark Normand?

  No, no. Well, I did like some ONA, cause you got like a young Quinn and Patrice and Burr and Louis Norton.

• 42:49Sam Morril?

  Geraldo.

• 42:50Mark Normand?

  Geraldo, then like Norm would pop in, or, uh, Artie, or what's his name?

• 42:55Sam Morril?

  We got stuff? You wanna give us some stuff? We got packages?

• 43:03Mark Normand?

  Oh shit, this is gonna be porn and guns.

• 43:06Sam Morril?

  It's gonna be a woman's hair.

• 43:08Mark Normand?

  Did I miss anything, by the way, in, uh, in New York? Anything go down?

• 43:12Sam Morril?

  Did you miss anything?

• 43:12Mark Normand?

  I know I missed the shooting.

• 43:14Sam Morril?

  That was fucking weird. Midtown, man.

• 43:16Mark Normand?

  Whoa, the godfather of music. Oh.

• 43:19Sam Morril?

  White Man Can't Jump, that's kinda fun.

• 43:21Mark Normand?

  That's cool, we can hang these up.

• 43:22Sam Morril?

  These are kinda fun.

• 43:23Mark Normand?

  Both movies I love. Hey, classic.

• 43:27Sam Morril?

  Ooh.

• 43:27Mark Normand?

  Look at this.

• 43:28Sam Morril?

  Ooh, Sandler. We listened to some Sandler on the drive up. Wow, this guy's got good taste. Chris Rock, Bigger and Black are... One of the most influential.

• 43:35Mark Normand?

  Giving you that.

• 43:35Sam Morril?

  What is this?

• 43:37Mark Normand?

  Hey, Goodfellas VH.

• 43:39Sam Morril?

  Oh shit, a Bernard King card. Love that.

• 43:43Mark Normand?

  Wow. This is like my whole childhood right here.

• 43:46Sam Morril?

  Wait a second, no, this is Charles Oakley. Well, it says rebound king, never mind. Charles Oakley, good ol' Oak.

• 43:51Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 43:52Sam Morril?

  Go Knicks, thank you.

• 43:53Mark Normand?

  I feel like this guy could've put half this shit on eBay and made about eighteen dollars.

• 43:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah, this is like kinda cool shit to just... I feel like we're running a thrift store here, but...

• 43:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 44:00Sam Morril?

  Pulp Fiction soundtrack, pretty iconic.

• 44:02Mark Normand?

  Laughing out loud. Norm, Bill Maher, Ray Romano, Drew Carey.

• 44:07Sam Morril?

  Whoa, what the fuck?

• 44:08Mark Normand?

  I feel like Drew Carey doesn't get his due. He's a funny guy.

• 44:10Sam Morril?

  He is a funny guy.

• 44:11Mark Normand?

  Jack Daniels, this is like a little tin.

• 44:14Sam Morril?

  Man, this is like...

• 44:16Mark Normand?

  I know Mark has trouble falling asleep, throw this puppy on, it works like a charm.

• 44:22Sam Morril?

  Good joke. Will Cosby, good stuff.

• 44:25Mark Normand?

  Ivan, I like this guy. Drinking through it. Drink through it.

• 44:29Sam Morril?

  This is, this is a fun package.

• 44:30Mark Normand?

  Hang that up right there.

• 44:32Sam Morril?

  Hey, Hanukkah came early, you're alright.

• 44:34Mark Normand?

  And a Carson box set. Okay. Look at that.

• 44:39Mark Normand?

  He had a few boxes in his day. Is that the, just comedians, or is it the whole show?

• 44:44Sam Morril?

  I don't even know. It looks like it's all comedians, man. It is weird that, you know, you think of Nicholson in The Shining. Here's Johnny. It's weird to have that reference, like you're that fucking iconic.

• 44:55Mark Normand?

  He was that famous.

• 44:56Sam Morril?

  That you're, you made The Shining.

• 44:58Mark Normand?

  The whole country watched that show every night. Crazy.

• 45:01Sam Morril?

  Different times, man.

• 45:02Mark Normand?

  Different time, that's all they had.

• 45:03Sam Morril?

  No more Colbert, no more, uh...

• 45:05Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:05Sam Morril?

  You did Colbert, right?

• 45:06Mark Normand?

  I did.

• 45:07Sam Morril?

  I did it once, too.

• 45:08Mark Normand?

  I had an okay set. I saw one guy commented, "This is a bad set from a good comedian," and I was like, "I'll take it."

• 45:13Sam Morril?

  I think I got the same response. I was, I think, the first comedian on there.

• 45:17Mark Normand?

  I think you were.

• 45:18Sam Morril?

  I think it was Maria Bamford, like, that he wanted on, so it was like his, like, "She's my favorite comedian, I want her on," and then the Booker, I was the first comedian, so, uh... Yeah, I don't think it was a great set. It was kinda like, they neuter it till it's not funny when you do CBS or NBC usually. Although you got some edgy shit in a Fallon set once. I remember you got that girlfriend Walker bit on a Fallon set.

• 45:38Mark Normand?

  Uh, that was a fight.

• 45:39Sam Morril?

  And them being like, "That's pretty fucking cool."

• 45:41Mark Normand?

  Thank you. Yeah, that was not easy. I had to push for that. I also had to push for boner.

• 45:46Sam Morril?

  Gosh.

• 45:46Mark Normand?

  They wanted me to say erection.

• 45:47Sam Morril?

  Well, the problem is, you know, look...

• 45:51Mark Normand?

  Hey, folks, We Might Be Drunk is brought to you by Hemp, Cornbread Hemp. If your current CBD isn't hitting, it's time to switch to Cornbread Hemp. Made from just the flower of the plant, this stuff packs a punch. And is ready to help fix what ails ya. They make THC gummies, THC drinks, CBD oils, capsules and creams, and even CBD for anxious pets who take after their parents. We love Cornbread Hemp. I don't know, it just makes me feel better, makes me calm down. It's right up my alley. Just evens me out, and I love cornbread. Whether you're looking to relieve stress or soothe aches and pains, Cornbread Hemp is what you need.

• 46:34Mark Normand?

  Right now, We Might Be Drunk listeners can save 30% on their first order. Head to cornbreadhemp.com/drunks and use code DRUNKS at checkout. That's cornbreadhemp.com/drunks and use code DRUNKS. Hey, hey, folks, We Might Be Drunk. Drunk is brought to you by Hims. You've already tried pretending nothing is wrong and you've tried making weird excuses that your partner doesn't buy. Now try Hims. Prescribed by licensed providers. Hims gives men access to personalized ED treatments that don't even need to leave the couch to get. With options like Hard Mintz and Sex RX Plus Climax Control. The whole process is totally online and brings expert care straight to you.

• 47:17Mark Normand?

  Stop with the awkward excuses and get some results already. To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more. Hims.com/Drunk. That's Hims.com/Drunk. For your free visit online. Hims.com/Drunk. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Featured products include compounded drug products with the FDA. FDA does not approve or verify safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. Hims. Get on it and fix that dog. Hey, hey, folks. We might be drunk is brought to you by Lucy.

• 48:00Mark Normand?

  It's time for a seriously big favor with Lucy Breakers nicotine pouches. These nicotine pouches are awesome. Each one has a little capsule inside. Just break the capsule to release a wave of flavor and hydration. Get your fix literally anywhere with flavors like apple cider, mango, mint and berry citrus. You can mix and match every day. I love that mint and berry citrus. That's my favorite. This stuff packs a punch. It tastes good. It works. I feel exhilarated. I'm ready to go. I love it. Right up in the gum. Lucy Breakers comes in four, eight, and 12 milligrams of nicotine.

• 48:44Mark Normand?

  So you get to decide how much of a kick you're looking for. Let's level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to Lucy.co/Drunk and promo code DRUNK to get 20% off your first order. Lucy has a 30-day refund policy if you change your mind. Again, that's Lucy.co and use code DRUNK to get 20% off. And here's the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Lucy.

• 49:18Sam Morril?

  It was fun to do. It's fun as hell to be in the Ed Sullivan Theater.

• 49:21Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 49:22Sam Morril?

  But, uh, it was a tough one for comics, as we all know.

• 49:27Mark Normand?

  It really was, yeah. Although, we did it when Colbert was still there. Remember, he would walk out?

• 49:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah, they would just have like six comedians at a time.

• 49:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 49:36Sam Morril?

  And just record, and he wasn't there, which is like, it really takes the thrill away.

• 49:41Mark Normand?

  Completely.

• 49:41Sam Morril?

  You want to meet the host, you want the handshake, you want the job well done thing.

• 49:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you want the whole experience.

• 49:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 49:47Mark Normand?

  Otherwise, it's just a stage.

• 49:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's like, who gives a shit? Yeah, they would just plug and play it, like, they'd kind of hold it and be like, here, we'll put it in when we feel like it.

• 49:56Mark Normand?

  The rumor was he didn't love stand-up?

• 49:58Sam Morril?

  I don't know, yeah. I'm sure he doesn't like the type of comedy we do, would be my guess, but, uh...

• 50:04Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 50:04Sam Morril?

  Maybe, I don't know. I mean, I had a ton of respect for Colbert, like, you know, growing up, I, you know, I interned on Colbert Report, I loved fucking... I loved, uh, Stranger with Candy, I loved, you know.

• 50:14Mark Normand?

  His, uh, was it White House?

• 50:16Sam Morril?

  Oh, it was incredible.

• 50:17Mark Normand?

  Incredible.

• 50:18Sam Morril?

  He did a roast set on Chevy Chase, and it's one of the most vicious roast sets I've ever seen. It was...

• 50:23Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 50:24Sam Morril?

  It was incredible.

• 50:24Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 50:25Sam Morril?

  He, it was the Colbert voice, when he did Colbert Report, so it was all very cutting and sarcastic.

• 50:31Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:32Sam Morril?

  And that was, so he was like fake praising him.

• 50:34Mark Normand?

  Ohhh.

• 50:35Sam Morril?

  But it was vicious.

• 50:35Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 50:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it was very good, um...

• 50:39Mark Normand?

  Maybe we can play, I don't think I've ever seen this.

• 50:41Sam Morril?

  Are we allowed to play that, or, yeah, I don't know? Yeah, you'll have to find, uh...

• 50:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow, Paul Shaffer.

• 50:47Sam Morril?

  Paul Shaffer.

• 50:48Mark Normand?

  Those roasts were like a big deal.

• 50:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean, oh yeah, here he is, here he is.

• 50:52Mark Normand?

  There he is.

• 50:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah, let's see, let me probably watch.

• 51:16Speaker 04

  You could never take back. And I just, I will not be pardoned to it. I'm sorry, I've gotta draw a line because who am I? I'm not Chevy Chase. I don't know Chevy Chase. I have never met Mr. Chase. I'm actually uncomfortable calling him Chevy. The only thing I think of when I look at this man is there but for the grace of God go I. Why would I tempt the comedy gods to strike me down like this? To leave me pale and pear-shaped? By humorless husk of my former self? Haunting halls of Hollywood like some sort of walking, waking cautionary tale?

• 51:59Speaker 04

  Shapeless and overless and colorless, gray on beige? A comedy lampshade of silence and joy.

• 52:09Mark Normand?

  Wow. This was a risk and it worked.

• 52:14Mark Normand?

  He committed.

• 52:19Mark Normand?

  Ah, the sink is off.

• 52:24Sam Morril?

  It's very good.

• 52:25Mark Normand?

  Very good. Man, he's a pro.

• 52:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 52:28Mark Normand?

  Even Chevy responded, which that whole, I remember that whole roast, he was just like, whatever, shut up.

• 52:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah, well, I guess that roast is when he found out people didn't like him. It's a weird way to find out. You're like, I guess you ask all the big dogs to do it and they're like, no, fuck that guy.

• 52:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, everybody hates him. I met him at the Adam Ray, um, Dr. Phil.

• 52:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah, what was the vibe?

• 52:49Mark Normand?

  Not great. I, it was just like, I got the limp handshake and he was in a wheelchair, which was awkward. And then, uh, he walked out, did the show, didn't say much with Adam.

• 52:58Sam Morril?

  He's in a wheelchair, but he did walk out.

• 53:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he has the wheelchair just to get around, but he can still walk.

• 53:03Sam Morril?

  That's a weird move.

• 53:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I think he needs it a little, but, uh...

• 53:08Sam Morril?

  No one respects a half a wheelchair.

• 53:11Mark Normand?

  No, they really don't.

• 53:12Sam Morril?

  It's weird to be like, I'll do the wheelchair for this part. And then you're like, I'm good for, I'm good for him. It's strange.

• 53:18Mark Normand?

  There he is, yeah. No energy, didn't, didn't bring anything to the table, but still pretty cool to have him there, I guess. I mean, I grew up with the guy.

• 53:26Sam Morril?

  Done a lot of shit.

• 53:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah, there he is.

• 53:30Mark Normand?

  He's a legend, of course.

• 53:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 53:32Mark Normand?

  But, yeah. Did not say much on stage. He really kinda left Adam hanging. Adam had to do all the the heavy lifting.

• 53:38Sam Morril?

  It's a whole new world. I mean, I'm sure these guys are looking at this like, what is this?

• 53:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 53:43Sam Morril?

  Like, they came up at such a different time. They came up when it was just like movies, and then it's like, okay, so he's not Dr. Phil, but he's pretending to be Dr. Phil.

• 53:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 53:52Sam Morril?

  And it's in a theater this big?

• 53:53Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 53:54Sam Morril?

  Like, it must be just, like, jarring as fuck.

• 53:57Mark Normand?

  I know, I know. They don't understand it. There's a lot going on. Well, we have to put out our own content. I think that's, most people are like, where's the camera? Where's the crew? Where's craft service? This is all pretty guerrilla.

• 54:09Sam Morril?

  They were treated so well.

• 54:10Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 54:11Sam Morril?

  These movies are like, you do a bit part in a movie and you're like, oh, this is crazy.

• 54:16Mark Normand?

  It's crazy.

• 54:17Sam Morril?

  It's crazy how they treat, they were like, this is like, I did a bit part in a movie recently, and, very small part, and there's like 400 people there.

• 54:26Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 54:27Sam Morril?

  They're like, they're like, can I get this? Okay, you want this? Sure. And I'm like, this is why these don't get made.

• 54:31Mark Normand?

  I know, it's millions.

• 54:33Sam Morril?

  They think this is what it takes to make a movie.

• 54:35Mark Normand?

  It doesn't, we don't need this much. There's a lady on the corner in jean shorts like, yes, sir. Okay, everybody, can't come in this area. She's gotta lock up a whole area. It's, all of it's unnecessary.

• 54:46Sam Morril?

  At least 40 redundant producers.

• 54:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 54:48Sam Morril?

  That's why the shows like Cobra, everyone's saying it's political, which, I don't know, maybe it is political, but you have to also admit that, uh, you look at the credits and you're like, that's a lot of people.

• 54:58Mark Normand?

  For a guy talking on stage and a guest in a band. That's a lot of grips.

• 55:03Sam Morril?

  A lot of people.

• 55:03Mark Normand?

  Extras, uh,

• 55:05Sam Morril?

  And, and it's, it is an old model, you have to admit.

• 55:08Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 55:08Sam Morril?

  And like, when you go and do Rogan or something, there's like, four people there. And this is the most top grossing show.

• 55:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 55:15Sam Morril?

  You have to look at like, okay, I hope these shows don't always go away, because, oh, forever go away, because I, I love the idea of like, an interview with a crowd. I think it's awesome.

• 55:22Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure.

• 55:23Sam Morril?

  I love that shit. But you do have to find a way to do it in an affordable way.

• 55:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 55:27Sam Morril?

  And then also, it fucking breaks my heart, because you think of the people who, like, post-strike, like, man, how many writers we know that can't work?

• 55:34Mark Normand?

  Can't work.

• 55:34Sam Morril?

  Can't get a job, and now it's you're gonna throw all these other people. It's gonna be fucking hard, dude.

• 55:39Mark Normand?

  It is, yeah. But it's, uh, times are changing. It's kinda like,

• 55:43Sam Morril?

  I mean, we just have Matt Peters here, and we pay him in M&Ms. It's crazy, you know, it's,

• 55:47Mark Normand?

  But it's like the, uh, you know, that's how everything goes. It's like, the saddle guy, when the car comes out, he's fucked. The horseshoe guy's fucked. The barn guy's fucked. The horse tame guy's fucked, you know, it's just, Things change. Now we got, uh, self-driving cars coming. So the trucker's like, well, what do we do?

• 56:02Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 56:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 56:04Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 56:04Mark Normand?

  What are the Uber drivers gonna do when Waymo kicks up all the way? Waymo's coming.

• 56:09Sam Morril?

  Waymo, man. Yeah, what do you think of that? Would you take one home?

• 56:12Mark Normand?

  Uh, I've done it a few times.

• 56:13Sam Morril?

  Really? What?

• 56:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 56:15Sam Morril?

  Where? Where'd you take a Waymo?

• 56:16Mark Normand?

  I got one in Austin. I just was like, oh, I'm drunk at this bar. Boop, boop, boop, boop. Got a Waymo.

• 56:20Sam Morril?

  You call an Uber and it was a Waymo this year?

• 56:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah. The Waymo was like eight dollars cheaper. You know, it's like Uber X, Uber Black, Uber whatever. Got the Waymo. I'm just in a car with, uh, Rachel Feinstein and the wheel is turning. It was crazy.

• 56:34Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 56:34Mark Normand?

  Somebody has a joke that said, uh, they made a whole company just so you don't have to be with an Indian. That's not my joke, but somebody had that. Um, Metzger always says, it's great you can jerk off back there. No one cares.

• 56:46Sam Morril?

  I, I used to have a bit about how, true story, a girl, we're in the back of her company car and we're both hammered. She was a lawyer. And we're fooling around and she pulls my pants down, just takes my dick out in the car and I let her do it because I was shitfaced. I was like, alright. And then, and then there's a guy driving. You know, there's a person driving this car. And in my head, I'm like, perfect ad for driverless cars.

• 57:07Sam Morril?

  But you know, that's, I mean, that's kind of, I wonder, are there cameras in there?

• 57:11Mark Normand?

  There's gotta be. There's gotta be. Or else you could just like rip up the place.

• 57:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 57:16Mark Normand?

  There's gotta be. But yeah, I'm sure guys are getting blown back there constantly.

• 57:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, on camera.

• 57:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:23Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 57:23Mark Normand?

  Ah, you take the risk.

• 57:25Sam Morril?

  You ever gotten blown in like a taxi cab?

• 57:27Mark Normand?

  I have. I got kicked out of one. I got blown in one of the cab vans years ago.

• 57:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 57:31Mark Normand?

  And, uh, the guy was like-

• 57:32Sam Morril?

  What was his name?

• 57:36Mark Normand?

  Ironically, it was Waymo. Jeff Waymo. No. But I was getting blown and this guy goes, no, no, no, no, no, no. And he's freaking out. He pulls the car wherever we were. We were at Union Square, right in front of the, uh, the Whole Foods. He's like, get out, not in my cab. You, you hook her. And she was like, I'm not a hooker. It was a whole thing.

• 57:52Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 57:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:53Sam Morril?

  Damn, that must've killed the mood.

• 57:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, it was bad. And I'm like, you know, you're shoving the bone her back in in public. It was brutal.

• 58:00Sam Morril?

  I had it once. Yeah, it was, it's great.

• 58:03Mark Normand?

  It's great. I mean, that's what cabs are for.

• 58:05Sam Morril?

  They are.

• 58:06Mark Normand?

  We've all seen Taxi Driver. The whole, the beginning of the movie is wiping Jizz off the seat.

• 58:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Fuck, that movie's so good. That the, uh, I mean, that, that is, look, in a world with no ratings, it is the Wild West. We should be able to get blown.

• 58:19Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 58:20Sam Morril?

  Why not?

• 58:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, good point.

• 58:22Sam Morril?

  Live a little.

• 58:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Now, is that a...

• 58:26Sam Morril?

  They're talking on speakerphone, I don't love that.

• 58:30Mark Normand?

  That's a good point.

• 58:31Sam Morril?

  Oh, boy.

• 58:32Mark Normand?

  Wait, is this a second black?

• 58:34Speaker 02

  This is a, I had, uh, the robots make this one. This is, uh...

• 58:38Sam Morril?

  Did you really have the machine make it?

• 58:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, so this is called a cherry wood Boulevardier with a little rinse of Nick Offerman's Lagavon.

• 58:46Mark Normand?

  Whoa, I got sets tonight.

• 58:48Sam Morril?

  And another rinse of Mark Norman's jizz. From Taxi Cab. Oh, my god, that smells so good. That is smoky, dude.

• 58:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, my god, that's smoky.

• 58:58Sam Morril?

  Nick Offerman, we gotta get him back on, he canceled on us.

• 59:00Mark Normand?

  Petey.

• 59:01Sam Morril?

  But we'll get him back. Great guy.

• 59:07Sam Morril?

  It's, you know, it's a little smoky.

• 59:10Mark Normand?

  Possibly, but I don't mind Petey.

• 59:12Sam Morril?

  It's still good. It's just, I've never had, I've never had a, it almost feels like a waste to use Lagavon in a cocktail.

• 59:18Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 59:20Speaker 02

  It probably was a little bit, you guys give it free, right?

• 59:22Sam Morril?

  No, we don't, it was a very expensive bottle, Matt. You're reckless.

• 59:25Mark Normand?

  I like the, the ice, though.

• 59:27Sam Morril?

  I like it, too. A robot made this.

• 59:29Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 59:30Mark Normand?

  We're fucked. Jesus Christ. Waymo.

• 59:41Mark Normand?

  Wait, what do you mean chat GPT?

• 59:42Sam Morril?

  A robot can't have a conversation with you, and I like a bartender that will chat you up, and I like, uh, an old school... And also, part, part of going to a bar is like, you want a hot bartender.

• 59:51Mark Normand?

  True, true, you can't make a robot that.

• 59:54Sam Morril?

  Not yet.

• 59:54Mark Normand?

  Also, I had a thought the other day. My wife was talking, she's like, ah, I need to, I wanna lose weight, I'm always worried about my weight, and then her phone now is sending her, like, workout equipment, spin, spin classes, SoulCycle, and I'm like, see, the phone is smart to listen, but it doesn't know that it's insensitive. That's where we come in. She goes, eh, I feel like I'm gaining weight, I go, nah, you look great. The phone can't do that. You can't bullshit. So, we still have the bullshit factor.

• 1:00:23Sam Morril?

  You've started feeding the phone info, that's what I'm feeling.

• 1:00:26Mark Normand?

  That was the joke, yeah. It's like, you gotta help me out, phone. She's huge, no.

• 1:00:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I gotta get a fucking, uh... She should blow me more, the phone's like, I'm on it.

• 1:00:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I know, I've been working on a bit and that's, that's the ending.

• 1:00:39Sam Morril?

  Really? Holy shit.

• 1:00:42Mark Normand?

  But yeah.

• 1:00:42Sam Morril?

  We're fucking finished, we've written too many hours.

• 1:00:46Mark Normand?

  But, the point is, the phone isn't smart enough to be full of shit.

• 1:00:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:51Mark Normand?

  And that's the other thing about AI.

• 1:00:52Sam Morril?

  It's a good angle, it is a good bit.

• 1:00:53Mark Normand?

  AI can't lie to himself. We look in a mirror, we go, hey, I look pretty good, I'm alright, I'm doing great, AI's like...

• 1:01:00Sam Morril?

  You're a 6.7.

• 1:01:01Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:01:02Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:03Mark Normand?

  In, in our heads, we're a 9, or whatever.

• 1:01:06Sam Morril?

  After a few drinks, it's like that Homer Simpson thing where you're like, you have, he's doing like the, the flexing in the mirror and he's shredded.

• 1:01:11Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:01:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:13Mark Normand?

  Right, your brain really does lie to you, I think, uh, people think they have a inflated sense of themselves. Everybody thinks they're smart, everybody thinks they're a good person.

• 1:01:21Sam Morril?

  Everyone thinks they can fight.

• 1:01:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:23Sam Morril?

  Everyone thinks they're a better fighter than they are.

• 1:01:25Mark Normand?

  But I think that helps humans in a way, because we wouldn't... The Wright brothers are like, I could fly. I could make it work, we're like, dude, you're gonna die out there, it's crazy, there's gravity, he's like, I got it. And now we have flight.

• 1:01:36Sam Morril?

  If only Amelia Earhart had AI. Would've said, you're a woman, what are you thinking?

• 1:01:41Mark Normand?

  I know. We lost a good lesbian that day. She had to be a lesbian.

• 1:01:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah, look it up, let's ask.

• 1:01:49Mark Normand?

  I'm putting everything I got on it. But, how do they know? Let's see how good, uh, ChatGPT really is.

• 1:01:59Sam Morril?

  While there's no definitive proof, some speculate that Amelia Earhart may have been a lesbian or bisexual, possibly due to her unconventional marriage and close relationship with Eleanor Roosevelt. However, her sexuality remains a topic of debate, with some suggestion she wanted, she, uh, was more focused on adventure and accompaniment than romantic relationship, accomplishment, sorry, than romantic relationships.

• 1:02:21Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:02:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:23Mark Normand?

  I think I got something there.

• 1:02:23Sam Morril?

  She was married to George Putnam in 1931 with a prenup agreement-

• 1:02:27Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 1:02:28Sam Morril?

  That allowed for an open marriage.

• 1:02:29Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 1:02:30Sam Morril?

  That's not normal for back then.

• 1:02:31Mark Normand?

  Very rare back then.

• 1:02:32Sam Morril?

  Emphasized her independence.

• 1:02:34Mark Normand?

  Thank you. Close relationship with Eleanor.

• 1:02:37Sam Morril?

  She chowed box. You heard it here first, folks.

• 1:02:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:40Sam Morril?

  Come on. Close relationship to Eleanor Roosevelt. Earhart and Roosevelt were known to have a close friendship, with some suggesting she chowed each other's box. Okay. Could be said. I mean, look, she never came out of the crash. All right. Anyway. I stink.

• 1:02:56Mark Normand?

  Apparently, Lincoln was gay. Have you heard this?

• 1:02:58Sam Morril?

  I've heard this. Soder's got a great bit about it.

• 1:03:01Mark Normand?

  He does, yeah.

• 1:03:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah. I've heard that rumor.

• 1:03:05Mark Normand?

  He was at the theater.

• 1:03:06Sam Morril?

  He was at the theater. I had a bit about that. It was special. I did, yeah. He, uh, yeah. Damn, dude.

• 1:03:13Mark Normand?

  I mean, you think, now, here's a question. We've had, what, 47 presidents? Statistically, one had to be gay. Or three had to be gay. Four. What is it? One in 10?

• 1:03:23Sam Morril?

  One in 10?

• 1:03:24Mark Normand?

  You had that great bit. One in 10. I think it's one in one.

• 1:03:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:29Mark Normand?

  Was that it?

• 1:03:29Sam Morril?

  That was old school. That was like early Sam.

• 1:03:31Mark Normand?

  Early.

• 1:03:32Sam Morril?

  They say one man and 10 men is gay. I said, no, I think it's one man and one man is gay.

• 1:03:35Mark Normand?

  That's a good joke.

• 1:03:36Sam Morril?

  Got a nice laugh back in the...

• 1:03:37Mark Normand?

  That's a good joke.

• 1:03:38Sam Morril?

  It was a nice, clean joke.

• 1:03:40Mark Normand?

  Well, clearly Hoover. Who was the guy who was wearing the women's clothes?

• 1:03:43Sam Morril?

  Uh, that was J. Edgar Hoover, though. He wasn't president. He was FBI.

• 1:03:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's right. That's right.

• 1:03:47Sam Morril?

  Uh...

• 1:03:49Mark Normand?

  JFK was gay. No way. He was a poon hound. Barack Obama, I've heard. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, Lincoln.

• 1:03:56Sam Morril?

  But I've also heard Obama's a poon hound. Like, who the hell knows?

• 1:03:58Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:03:59Sam Morril?

  I mean, I think he's into that celeb world. I mean, there was a rumor he was dating Jennifer Aniston for a while.

• 1:04:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's true. That's true.

• 1:04:06Sam Morril?

  Abe Lincoln.

• 1:04:09Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 1:04:09Sam Morril?

  Bill and Hillary.

• 1:04:10Mark Normand?

  No way, Bill.

• 1:04:11Sam Morril?

  Bill's not, Bill wishes he was gay.

• 1:04:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's the straightest president of all time.

• 1:04:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah. If Bill was gay, he fucking, that might save his, I mean, you know he's on that list.

• 1:04:20Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Dare I say, the first black president. Has that been done? Okay. Every comic had that. He's got the weed, he's fornicating, he's playing the saxmo. That's first black president.

• 1:04:34Sam Morril?

  Have you already had an LGBT president?

• 1:04:36Mark Normand?

  Probably.

• 1:04:37Sam Morril?

  Ooh, let's see about James Buchanan?

• 1:04:39Mark Normand?

  What did he do?

• 1:04:39Sam Morril?

  A lifelong bachelor?

• 1:04:41Mark Normand?

  Bachelor.

• 1:04:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but he might have been getting poon, dude. Didn't he have a weird, what was, yeah, go, let's go into him for a sec. Go, zoom in.

• 1:04:50Sam Morril?

  Go down, yeah, not a, not a looker.

• 1:04:52Mark Normand?

  Not a handsome man.

• 1:04:53Sam Morril?

  Of all forty-six presidents, all forty-six have supposedly been heterosexual. However, only three have presided over the United States that accepted home, openly accepted homosexuality, meaning most presidents would not have been free to come out of the closet had they ever been in it, to begin with.

• 1:05:08Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 1:05:08Sam Morril?

  There's significant evidence that James Buchanan, known as a lifelong bachelor, was possibly gay. He lived for more than a decade with his close, personal friend and future vice- Man, this is like going to Lake Placid with your friend Chase. This is some gay shit.

• 1:05:23Mark Normand?

  Now, wait a minute, this is a stupid question. There's a lot of female presidents and prime ministers, I think Italy has a female, a couple of other places, Australia. Has there been a gay leader? Openly gay leader?

• 1:05:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, there has.

• 1:05:39Mark Normand?

  Has there? What country?

• 1:05:41Sam Morril?

  I don't know, look it up, there must be.

• 1:05:43Mark Normand?

  I know we probably had some gay mayors, we got some lesbian-

• 1:05:45Sam Morril?

  Well, we talked Koch already, it's definitely a gay mayor, yeah, but who-

• 1:05:49Mark Normand?

  Has there been a lesbian, gay, governed-

• 1:05:51Sam Morril?

  Gay leaders of countries, let's see what we got.

• 1:05:53Mark Normand?

  Of countries. And I'm not talking speculace, I want open.

• 1:05:59Sam Morril?

  Open butthole.

• 1:06:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Johanna Sigurgudater.

• 1:06:04Sam Morril?

  Who served as prime minister of Iceland.

• 1:06:06Mark Normand?

  Alright, alright.

• 1:06:07Sam Morril?

  In two thousand nine, alright, something. Officially out?

• 1:06:11Mark Normand?

  Okay, Luxembourg.

• 1:06:12Sam Morril?

  Other examples include, okay, Luxembourg, Ireland.

• 1:06:16Mark Normand?

  Wow, Ireland, that's surprising.

• 1:06:17Sam Morril?

  Prime Minister of Serbia.

• 1:06:18Mark Normand?

  Wow, that's really surprising.

• 1:06:20Sam Morril?

  You don't expect that shit.

• 1:06:21Mark Normand?

  Jeez.

• 1:06:24Sam Morril?

  Latvia.

• 1:06:26Mark Normand?

  France.

• 1:06:27Sam Morril?

  France, you could say.

• 1:06:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, they're close already.

• 1:06:32Mark Normand?

  Zamora, Prime Minister of Andorra.

• 1:06:34Sam Morril?

  Is this right? I don't know if this is right, we need like another, I don't know, I don't trust ChatGPT all the time.

• 1:06:39Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:06:39Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean, fuck, you know it's bad when you're like, go to Wikipedia. They're more trustworthy.

• 1:06:44Mark Normand?

  That's true. Alright, well shit, more than I thought, that's good.

• 1:06:51Mark Normand?

  We got a trans, or we had a trans, uh, what was it, Levine?

• 1:06:57Mark Normand?

  What was she in charge of? Some kind of, some war thing? Attorney General? Remember Levine? She was ugly? Remember her? Admiral, Admiral Levine. What was she the head of?

• 1:07:12Sam Morril?

  Rachel Levine?

• 1:07:13Mark Normand?

  Rachel.

• 1:07:16Mark Normand?

  Public Health Commissioner, okay, there you go.

• 1:07:18Sam Morril?

  She looks like Bernie Sanders, holy shit.

• 1:07:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it looks like Rick Chrome.

• 1:07:21Sam Morril?

  Holy shit.

• 1:07:23Mark Normand?

  That's a deep cut.

• 1:07:25Sam Morril?

  That was literally for us and one comic in his class who's listening to this.

• 1:07:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Uh, there you go. Alright, just curious. Looked some openly gays out there.

• 1:07:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean, obviously Harvey Milk, that's the famous one.

• 1:07:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, Milk, yeah.

• 1:07:41Sam Morril?

  But that wasn't, uh...

• 1:07:42Mark Normand?

  That didn't end well.

• 1:07:43Sam Morril?

  Nah, fuck.

• 1:07:44Mark Normand?

  Was he shot?

• 1:07:45Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:46Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:07:48Sam Morril?

  In his office, I think. Fucked up.

• 1:07:50Mark Normand?

  Oof.

• 1:07:51Sam Morril?

  Fucking SF, man.

• 1:07:52Mark Normand?

  I know. Very gay city.

• 1:07:55Sam Morril?

  Very gay city, but that, you know, that's where you maybe make the start, but then...

• 1:07:59Mark Normand?

  Dare I say, a lesbian better than a straight woman.

• 1:08:05Sam Morril?

  For what?

• 1:08:05Mark Normand?

  For office.

• 1:08:07Sam Morril?

  Why do you think?

• 1:08:08Mark Normand?

  Ah, a little more brass tacks.

• 1:08:11Sam Morril?

  A little tough?

• 1:08:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah, they're not worried about the, the, the male gaze. They're just like, "I'm doing my shit, I'm not worried about men, I'm worried about the, the business." I feel like a lot of females can be like, "Oh, does this guy think I'm cute? Does he like me?"

• 1:08:25Sam Morril?

  I hear what you're saying, a little lesbian action, yeah, it could work.

• 1:08:28Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:08:28Sam Morril?

  Why not?

• 1:08:29Mark Normand?

  Ah, I think it's better.

• 1:08:30Sam Morril?

  A little lesbo.

• 1:08:31Mark Normand?

  Same with comedians.

• 1:08:33Sam Morril?

  Lesbian comedians are good.

• 1:08:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:35Sam Morril?

  Lesbian WNBA players.

• 1:08:37Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:08:38Sam Morril?

  When you see a straight one, you're like, "Really?"

• 1:08:40Mark Normand?

  That's true, that's true.

• 1:08:41Sam Morril?

  I mean, they're fucking, there's a couple of straight ones, but you're like, it's a surprise.

• 1:08:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Kaitlyn Clark, but she's maybe the best.

• 1:08:48Sam Morril?

  She's good.

• 1:08:49Mark Normand?

  She's good, and she's, she's a hetero.

• 1:08:52Sam Morril?

  No, there's some good heteros in there, for sure.

• 1:08:54Mark Normand?

  Uh, what's up with that dildo?

• 1:08:56Sam Morril?

  It's happened a couple of times. By the way, who's bringing dildos to... It'd be the most embarrassing thing to get stopped through security with.

• 1:09:04Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:09:05Sam Morril?

  You're going through that fucking thing, and they're like, "What the hell?", and you're like, "Sorry, I was gonna throw it at a player."

• 1:09:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Damn, neon green as well, like, they really wanted that to be seen.

• 1:09:16Sam Morril?

  Who, yeah, who did it? Did they find out who did it?

• 1:09:20Mark Normand?

  How do they not catch that guy?

• 1:09:22Sam Morril?

  Game delayed by sex toy. Knights climax put on pause.

• 1:09:26Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's fun. That's a good time.

• 1:09:29Sam Morril?

  It is hilarious. They're like, "We deserve to get paid more." And then they're like, "Someone threw a dildo on the court. This is fucked up."

• 1:09:33Mark Normand?

  And they're like, "You can have that if you want that. Does that help? Keep it. There it is."

• 1:09:37Sam Morril?

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:09:41Mark Normand?

  I like how the cop has to come out, like it's contraband.

• 1:09:43Sam Morril?

  And it's a tight game, too. That's some fucked up thing. We got a tie game with 51 seconds left. We should be talking about the score, but instead they're like, "It's a fucking dick on the court."

• 1:09:52Mark Normand?

  Tie game, you know, the score of 11 to 11, fourth quarter. Holy hell.

• 1:09:59Mark Normand?

  Well, you see, this is, I know these women are upset, but this is good for business. This is all press. Now I'm gonna go to a game just to hope there's a dick thrown on the court.

• 1:10:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:10Mark Normand?

  That helps. Everything helps.

• 1:10:12Sam Morril?

  Have you, you live right by there. Have you been yet or no?

• 1:10:14Mark Normand?

  I haven't, but, but I'll tell ya, when that, that game is over, it's just, it's Lilith Fair on my fucking block. It's just, uh, boy, Diker Heights.

• 1:10:24Sam Morril?

  Holy shit. Talk about an audience that would not recognize us. They put me on the screen at one of those games once. You could have heard, you could have heard a pin drop. Then they put some lesbian artist on right after me and they were like, "Yes! Yes!"

• 1:10:37Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah. Every girl walking by my house looks like Sam Jay. It's just a thousand of them.

• 1:10:40Sam Morril?

  I was so embarrassed they put me on this. I was like, "Why are they putting me on there? I got nothing."

• 1:10:44Mark Normand?

  That's fun. By the way, they throw fucking bananas on the field. Oh shit.

• 1:10:50Sam Morril?

  True story. Julian Edelman, he told me this story once. His favorite game as a player was the Bills threw dildos at him.

• 1:10:55Mark Normand?

  Ah, alright.

• 1:10:56Sam Morril?

  They do it to men, too.

• 1:10:58Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:10:59Sam Morril?

  It's a different implication with men.

• 1:11:02Mark Normand?

  Definitely. I mean, it's gay.

• 1:11:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're calling him a homo, right? I mean, that's what they're doing.

• 1:11:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:08Sam Morril?

  Buffalo, Buffalo fans are fucking funny.

• 1:11:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, wild. I went to one game in the winter. I'll never do it again.

• 1:11:14Sam Morril?

  Throwing dildos at dudes doesn't seem as bad.

• 1:11:18Mark Normand?

  No, no. There's no gender thing.

• 1:11:21Sam Morril?

  Also, you got a helmet on.

• 1:11:23Mark Normand?

  True. True.

• 1:11:25Mark Normand?

  That's a good point.

• 1:11:26Sam Morril?

  Also, they're getting paid way more money.

• 1:11:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:30Sam Morril?

  It does suck to get like 72 grand a year and someone throws a dildo at you.

• 1:11:34Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:11:34Sam Morril?

  Like, there's no other job. You're not gonna be like an executive assistant and someone's like, "Hey, heads up." Dildo. You know?

• 1:11:41Mark Normand?

  But it is funny to throw at a guy and a woman, it feels like a hate thing.

• 1:11:44Sam Morril?

  That's what I mean, yeah.

• 1:11:45Mark Normand?

  But as a guy, it's a goof.

• 1:11:47Sam Morril?

  But I think also, part of that, like, you need to get the heckling to a higher... Because right now, the heckling at women's games are a little more positive. They're not quite as mean, because you feel like you can justify being a bigger dick when you're like, "Well, he's making 40 million." I could be like, "Fuck you."

• 1:12:04Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:12:05Sam Morril?

  But, uh, with these games, I think it's like, it's still very supportive, but once it gets to that level, it's a good sign for the sport.

• 1:12:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, good point.

• 1:12:14Sam Morril?

  If you're really trashing them, you're like, "Fuck you!" You're like, "No, I'm a fan."

• 1:12:17Mark Normand?

  That's true. I think you got something there.

• 1:12:19Sam Morril?

  I think it's true.

• 1:12:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah. The more hate, the bigger you are. What did, uh... What's that guy? Reggie Jackson. He said, "You're nobody till somebody hates you."

• 1:12:28Sam Morril?

  Man, he was a badass.

• 1:12:29Mark Normand?

  He was.

• 1:12:30Sam Morril?

  Reggie, dude.

• 1:12:30Mark Normand?

  Was he in Naked Gun?

• 1:12:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he was the guy who almost shot the Queen. Amazing, dude. Amazing book. If you're, uh, The Bronx Is Burning.

• 1:12:40Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:12:40Sam Morril?

  It's about like, everything in New York in the 70s, like, uh, Son of Sam, David Berkowitz, the killer, the Yankees, the mayor. Uh, it's a fucking great book.

• 1:12:52Mark Normand?

  They should make that a movie.

• 1:12:53Sam Morril?

  They made it a show. I didn't see the show, but, oh, Oliver Platt as Steinbrenner, that's pretty... He's fucking...

• 1:12:58Mark Normand?

  That's fun.

• 1:12:58Sam Morril?

  We tried to get him on this pod, and he wouldn't come on because he doesn't drink, but we're like, "Dude, we'll fucking not drink with you," right? Wasn't that what happened with him? I love Oliver Platt.

• 1:13:05Mark Normand?

  The title of this show is killing us. We lost Hank Azaria because of it?

• 1:13:09Sam Morril?

  Well, they're like best buds.

• 1:13:10Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:13:11Sam Morril?

  I'm sure they're telling you, like, "Fuck that show."

• 1:13:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Maybe we can get them on together.

• 1:13:15Sam Morril?

  Let's have coffee with them. We'll have tea. We'll drink whatever you want, for fuck's sake.

• 1:13:18Mark Normand?

  Yes. We'll have coconut water, you queefs.

• 1:13:20Sam Morril?

  I would love Turturro, man.

• 1:13:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, I love Turturro.

• 1:13:22Sam Morril?

  Turturro's a fucking beast.

• 1:13:24Mark Normand?

  Miller's Crossing, Lebowski.

• 1:13:26Sam Morril?

  Quiz Show?

• 1:13:27Mark Normand?

  Quiz Show.

• 1:13:28Sam Morril?

  Quiz Show's fucking epic!

• 1:13:30Mark Normand?

  So good.

• 1:13:31Sam Morril?

  That's so underrated, that movie.

• 1:13:32Mark Normand?

  Cohen? No.

• 1:13:33Sam Morril?

  No, Robert Redford, dude.

• 1:13:35Mark Normand?

  Redford. He had a run.

• 1:13:37Sam Morril?

  Bringing heat. And, uh, fuck, I mean, you said Miller's Crossing, but, I mean, obviously Lebowski.

• 1:13:43Mark Normand?

  Barton Fink.

• 1:13:44Sam Morril?

  Oh, that's a great one. Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

• 1:13:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, Mr. Deeds. I forgot. He can do comedy, too.

• 1:13:49Sam Morril?

  Dude, he's fucking, he's great in Mr. Deeds. He's hilarious in that movie.

• 1:13:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, he's in Do the Right Thing. He's the waiter, the busboy or whatever.

• 1:13:56Sam Morril?

  Rounders.

• 1:13:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Totoro. That guy can act.

• 1:13:59Sam Morril?

  He's a fucking legend, dude. New York ledge. Um, yeah, we gotta get him on here.

• 1:14:05Mark Normand?

  Trying to think more about Australia. We had a, we had a wild time.

• 1:14:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah, give us some more.

• 1:14:09Mark Normand?

  I couldn't get drunk there, cuz it's a beer, it's really a beer country.

• 1:14:12Sam Morril?

  We're not big beer guys.

• 1:14:13Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:14:14Sam Morril?

  I'll, I'll have a beer, but like, I don't like getting drunk on beer.

• 1:14:17Mark Normand?

  I don't either.

• 1:14:18Sam Morril?

  The amount of pissing bothers me. I'm already a coffee guy. I can't do beer and coffee and pee eight times a night, you know?

• 1:14:24Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, and it's just so much just fluff.

• 1:14:27Sam Morril?

  Did you do a shoeie?

• 1:14:28Mark Normand?

  No, but they, the last show, we had a great run of shows. I was killing in Perth, and then some guy goes, "Shoeie!" And I go, "All right, man, shut up," and then-

• 1:14:37Sam Morril?

  They won't let it go?

• 1:14:38Mark Normand?

  It just started like a wildfire. The whole place is yelling "Shoeie," and I just had to walk off.

• 1:14:42Sam Morril?

  So a shoeie, for those that don't know, is, I'm reading it here, a tradition where a person drinks an alcoholic beverage, usually beer, from a shoe.

• 1:14:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah, which I did last year.

• 1:14:53Sam Morril?

  I'm not doing it.

• 1:14:53Mark Normand?

  I did it. Well, when they yelled at you, they were yelling "Jewie," but-

• 1:14:58Sam Morril?

  And I said, "A little bit, a little bit." No, but no, I, I'm not doing, like, I've done enough unsanitary shit in my life.

• 1:15:05Mark Normand?

  Well-

• 1:15:05Sam Morril?

  By the way, when people play beer pong now, did you know that they, they do water in all the cups, and you just drink a beer?

• 1:15:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, like sip your own beer?

• 1:15:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah, because we were so, growing up, we were so unsanitary, when we played beer pong, you shoot it in to the beer, you drink the beer, and then you throw the ball on the floor, you hit it in the beer, so-

• 1:15:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:15:25Sam Morril?

  So it's fucking, if you think about it, it's pretty gross, but we didn't think about it. We just did it. But I was at a beer pong bar. I was fucking wasted one night.

• 1:15:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:32Sam Morril?

  We start playing, I'm like, "What's up with all the water? Like, this is how we play now."

• 1:15:35Mark Normand?

  Huh.

• 1:15:35Sam Morril?

  So you just, every time you hit a shot, you just, you have a beer in the side, you drink that.

• 1:15:39Mark Normand?

  That does make sense.

• 1:15:40Sam Morril?

  It makes way more sense. We were living, we were doing disgusting shit.

• 1:15:43Mark Normand?

  But that's why we were stronger. We didn't have autism. Like, oh, you queef now. You're neurodivergent. But yeah, no, that makes sense. That's actually a great point.

• 1:15:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:56Mark Normand?

  I never thought about the ball dropping on the ground, and it's in everybody's hands all day.

• 1:15:59Sam Morril?

  It's fucking disgusting.

• 1:16:00Mark Normand?

  Ah, shit.

• 1:16:01Sam Morril?

  But I mean, it is weird, right? Are you bummed that it's changed? Did you play beer pong a lot?

• 1:16:06Speaker 02

  I'm pretty sure that's how I got mono in college.

• 1:16:08Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:16:08Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:16:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, everyone sharing the cups and stuff. I wish I got it the cool way, but I got it from beer pong.

• 1:16:13Sam Morril?

  Kissing, right? That's how you're supposed to get it?

• 1:16:15Mark Normand?

  Kissing disease. My friend got, uh, what's that, laryngitis from a shoeie. Cause you gotta think, your foot, your dirty, gross, sweaty, nasty ass hoof is in a Nike all day, and then you fucking hit that shit, it all goes down your throat.

• 1:16:29Sam Morril?

  I'm not a fan.

• 1:16:30Mark Normand?

  No. And then what are we doing here? I'm a comedian, I'm trying to tell jokes, stop trying to fuck with me.

• 1:16:36Sam Morril?

  There's always something. I feel like America, it's a little bit, like, you go to Boston, they want, uh, uh, Boston, Chicago, they want you to do a shot of Malort.

• 1:16:43Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:16:44Sam Morril?

  I can handle Malort.

• 1:16:45Mark Normand?

  I can do Malort.

• 1:16:45Sam Morril?

  It tastes like shit, but I don't mind something tasting like shit.

• 1:16:48Mark Normand?

  Sure. The shoeie is almost like, uh, this weird humiliation ritual, where I'm like, I don't wanna do it, you do it.

• 1:16:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Also, I'm doing a show.

• 1:16:57Mark Normand?

  I'm doing a show!

• 1:16:58Sam Morril?

  It's how low, it's how low what we do is on the entertainment pole.

• 1:17:01Mark Normand?

  That's our dildo on the court, is the shoeie. And I get it if I'm from there, but it just became like, do a shoeie, shoeie mate, what's shoeie, shoeie? And it just was coming from everywhere, and I was like, alright, I'll see you guys later. And I got a million DMs, like, sorry about the shoeie guy, those guys are idiots, blah, blah, blah.

• 1:17:17Sam Morril?

  Which city was that in?

• 1:17:18Mark Normand?

  That was in Perth, right at the end, last show of the tour.

• 1:17:21Sam Morril?

  My drunkest crowd was definitely Brisbane.

• 1:17:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, they're, they're animals.

• 1:17:25Sam Morril?

  They're drunk, they're drunkers, for sure. But yeah, I mean, you had a fucking amazing time, though?

• 1:17:30Mark Normand?

  I had a great time, and, uh, I'm, I'm ready to be back, I'm happy to be back, but, uh...

• 1:17:35Sam Morril?

  I could tell at the end you were fucking spiraling a little.

• 1:17:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, well, I think my manager was like, we're gonna get you out there in Australia, we're gonna give you some real time to chill, which, I'm like you, I'm like, these are too many days off. I'm like, how many days off do I have in Sydney? Three? Ah, jeez, give me one day off.

• 1:17:50Sam Morril?

  Did you really?

• 1:17:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Three in Sydney, two in Melbourne, two in, uh, Auckland, so it was, it was a little too much time off.

• 1:17:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's hard to plan that right, where you're either feeling like bored, senseless at a certain point, or, or you're rushed. It's really, it's really hard to plan a trip to Australia.

• 1:18:07Mark Normand?

  That's true, yeah.

• 1:18:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:08Mark Normand?

  I think one day off is plenty, but, uh, I also got a shadow band, or whatever.

• 1:18:14Sam Morril?

  Oh yeah?

• 1:18:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm in, I'm in Instagram jail right now.

• 1:18:17Sam Morril?

  What, what happened?

• 1:18:17Mark Normand?

  So I put up a, an Australia video and it was one of those videos where you're like, oh, this is cooking. It's at five, 500K in like 10 seconds, we're gonna go to a million, here we go.

• 1:18:25Sam Morril?

  Whoa, what was it?

• 1:18:27Mark Normand?

  It was just me fucking around and making fun of their, um, uh, land acknowledgement. And apparently that over there is like sacred, so no one makes fun of it. So I made fun of it and it was like, ahhhh, they were going nuts because they're not allowed to. So when someone else does it, they're going ape shit. And it killed it. And so all the Australians are sharing it when I posted it and then, you know, a bunch of people, uh, downvoted it a million times, like, what do you call it, reported it. And, uh, so it got taken down.

• 1:18:55Sam Morril?

  Damn, well, don't do that in Saudi Arabia.

• 1:18:57Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:18:58Sam Morril?

  Don't push the envelope there.

• 1:19:00Mark Normand?

  I mean, tickets are moving. Have you looked?

• 1:19:01Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's going alright.

• 1:19:02Mark Normand?

  It's going really well. I think they're like starved for a, a chuckle out there.

• 1:19:07Sam Morril?

  There you are.

• 1:19:08Mark Normand?

  What night am I?

• 1:19:09Sam Morril?

  The 2nd?

• 1:19:10Mark Normand?

  Alright, cool.

• 1:19:11Sam Morril?

  What am I, the 8th?

• 1:19:12Mark Normand?

  Alright, well, well, maybe we'll...

• 1:19:14Sam Morril?

  I wish we overlapped, man. That would've been fucking epic.

• 1:19:15Mark Normand?

  I know. I'm going to Greece and you're going to...

• 1:19:19Sam Morril?

  Uh, Barcelona.

• 1:19:20Mark Normand?

  Barcelona. Boy, what lives we have. We're all, we're jet set.

• 1:19:21Sam Morril?

  It'll be good.

• 1:19:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah, no, it's crazy. I'm...

• 1:19:26Mark Normand?

  Had paycheck. Look at me, comics. Jesus Christ, Zarnagarg, Gabriel Fluffy, Bobby Lee, Bill Burr. Boy, I hope to hang out with some of these people.

• 1:19:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Fuck.

• 1:19:38Mark Normand?

  Joe Coy, Jimmy Carr, Jim Jeffries.

• 1:19:40Sam Morril?

  Good old Bobby Lee.

• 1:19:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:42Sam Morril?

  I bet I'm overlapping with nobody. I'm at the very end.

• 1:19:44Mark Normand?

  Whitney, Santino, Schultz, uh, Kevin Hart. My god, this is quite a who's, they must have some cash over there.

• 1:19:51Sam Morril?

  Oh, they do. That's what they got.

• 1:19:53Mark Normand?

  If they're paying us that much, imagine what they're paying Kevin Hart.

• 1:19:58Mark Normand?

  Crazy.

• 1:19:59Sam Morril?

  He ain't flying commercial.

• 1:20:00Mark Normand?

  No. Yeah, my agent told me, they were like, we had a certain so and, uh, I'll tell you later, certain so and so, he flew to Australia private, flew the whole thing private and then flew home private. I was like, wow.

• 1:20:12Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:20:12Mark Normand?

  That must've been a couple mil.

• 1:20:15Sam Morril?

  Damn. Not too shab.

• 1:20:18Mark Normand?

  Not too shabby.

• 1:20:19Sam Morril?

  It would almost scare me to fly to Australia private, though.

• 1:20:21Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:20:22Sam Morril?

  Fucking small plane. You're like, are we, are we good?

• 1:20:25Mark Normand?

  Super bumpy.

• 1:20:26Sam Morril?

  Good problem to have, I suppose, but...

• 1:20:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah. I don't mind first class. It's just the airport that sucks. It's just that... I like, I don't mind first class.

• 1:20:34Sam Morril?

  No, my, my, my, my fear is when you connect internationally and you have to get the bag.

• 1:20:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:41Sam Morril?

  You checked and then you're like, am I gonna get, you know, so I'm more scared of the, oh, fucking we going through customs, that's more the thing.

• 1:20:48Mark Normand?

  Right, right. That's true. That's true.

• 1:20:51Sam Morril?

  Yeah, no, I mean shit.

• 1:20:52Mark Normand?

  Do you have the Global Entry?

• 1:20:54Sam Morril?

  I do, but it only works when you come home.

• 1:20:56Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's good though.

• 1:20:58Sam Morril?

  You gotta get all that, dude, that shit expires. Get on that list ASAP. Get on it like when it's a year before it expires. It takes for fucking ever.

• 1:21:06Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:21:06Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah. You gotta have all that shit. If you travel like you do, you gotta have, you, you don't wanna be waiting on all these long lines.

• 1:21:11Mark Normand?

  The lines are crazy.

• 1:21:12Sam Morril?

  When you travel like that.

• 1:21:14Mark Normand?

  Well, I did the, I looked in the Global Entry. You need like a passport, a birth certificate, a, I, I don't have any of that stuff.

• 1:21:21Sam Morril?

  You have to give them a penis stamp?

• 1:21:22Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:21:23Sam Morril?

  It's getting pretty intense now. No, they really are, they're, they're asking for more and more. Yeah, no, I, I did it just because you got it. It just, one less line. Who gives a fuck?

• 1:21:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, cuz when you land, you're like, oh, I'm home. Oh shit, we gotta walk in a three hour line.

• 1:21:35Sam Morril?

  It's insane.

• 1:21:36Mark Normand?

  It's insane. And then I watch people at Global Entry just breezing by and there's no one in line. I'm like, ah. I would pay like three hundred dollars just to get through that line, but.

• 1:21:45Sam Morril?

  It ain't fun.

• 1:21:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but I don't know how to get it. I don't have all the paperwork.

• 1:21:49Sam Morril?

  You could do it easily.

• 1:21:50Mark Normand?

  My parents didn't keep any of this shit, these records.

• 1:21:52Sam Morril?

  You could figure this shit out.

• 1:21:54Mark Normand?

  Alright, I'll give it a look.

• 1:21:55Sam Morril?

  You'll, you'll find it out.

• 1:21:56Mark Normand?

  PPTP, TTP account? What the fuck is this?

• 1:22:00Sam Morril?

  I don't fucking know.

• 1:22:01Mark Normand?

  God damn it.

• 1:22:02Sam Morril?

  Trusted traveler program. Yeah, who gives a fuck?

• 1:22:04Mark Normand?

  I just got pre-check like a month ago, so I'm way behind.

• 1:22:07Sam Morril?

  No fucking way. Shut up.

• 1:22:08Mark Normand?

  I really did, yeah.

• 1:22:09Sam Morril?

  You didn't have clear pre-check?

• 1:22:10Mark Normand?

  I had clear cuz I could just sign up at the airport, but I got pre-check. I had to go to Staples.

• 1:22:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:14Mark Normand?

  And get it. And that, that's been a game changer. By the way, that's the other thing.

• 1:22:18Sam Morril?

  Staples is kinda fun. You pop into Staples. I'm like, hey, you got like all these notepads and pens. I kinda like it. It's kind of a good time.

• 1:22:24Mark Normand?

  Nerd alert.

• 1:22:25Sam Morril?

  Well, I haven't been there in a while, but like I like handwriting shit out.

• 1:22:27Mark Normand?

  Me too.

• 1:22:28Sam Morril?

  I like the legal pads. They're nice on the eyes. It's a nice whole situation.

• 1:22:32Mark Normand?

  A good pen is a game changer.

• 1:22:33Sam Morril?

  It's fucking amazing.

• 1:22:34Mark Normand?

  You know what's overrated? Those pens that are like fountain? I don't like a fountain pen. It's too much ink. Too much ink.

• 1:22:40Sam Morril?

  It's like, what, what am I, giving my life to this? Fucking pen?

• 1:22:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:43Sam Morril?

  You have to commit, you always have to like carry the ink, they always fuck up. You have to get the right angle.

• 1:22:47Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:22:48Sam Morril?

  I fucking hate a fountain, fuck a fountain.

• 1:22:49Mark Normand?

  Fuck a fountain, if you leave it on the page, it gets like a bubble of ink, it's or uh.

• 1:22:53Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 1:22:54Mark Normand?

  Blots out, it's just blotting.

• 1:22:55Sam Morril?

  God forbid you wear khakis, it's in your fucking pocket, you're like now it looks like I fucking came black.

• 1:23:00Mark Normand?

  Ballpoint all day.

• 1:23:02Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I just like, I love it, you know what I love is one of those like precise pens, the black ones. Precise P, yeah, that right there, that right there, that one.

• 1:23:09Mark Normand?

  Oh really, that one, even that one's too much ink for me.

• 1:23:12Sam Morril?

  I like that one, I like the Uniballs, I like a nice pen.

• 1:23:14Mark Normand?

  I like a Uniball as well.

• 1:23:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah, unless you're Lance Armstrong, but uh.

• 1:23:18Mark Normand?

  Or Hitler.

• 1:23:20Sam Morril?

  I like, I like one of those, uh, I like a nice moving pen.

• 1:23:25Mark Normand?

  Uniball, that was quick.

• 1:23:26Sam Morril?

  Alright, I'll tell ya.

• 1:23:28Mark Normand?

  Uniball.

• 1:23:31Sam Morril?

  I like, uh, I like writing by hand, there's something about it. All the fucking legends do it, fucking Rock, Louis, they always have their legal pads and I like, I get why they do it, it is nice to write out.

• 1:23:41Mark Normand?

  It is, it's, you remember it more too, like sometimes if I can't remember a bit, I'll just write it down on a scratch pad in the hotel and I'll remember it.

• 1:23:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah, when you write out an actual, I always handwrite a set list.

• 1:23:52Mark Normand?

  Same, same. I was at a, years ago when I first went to Louis's apartment, I remember he had this big desk and had all these Emmys behind it and shit and I like, I think it had an Oscar. And I was like, oh, I was just staring at his desk, just thinking like chewed up, all these jokes and shows were written on there. And, uh, he walked by and he's like, everything I wrote on that desk, and I was like, wow.

• 1:24:15Sam Morril?

  That's pretty cool, man.

• 1:24:16Mark Normand?

  Crazy.

• 1:24:17Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:24:18Mark Normand?

  He had an amazing apartment, he had a wine cellar, in the West Village, a wine cellar, he had a backyard with a dog running around, he had a couple floor, it blew my mind.

• 1:24:27Sam Morril?

  Damn, well you got a great fucking apartment, man.

• 1:24:29Mark Normand?

  I gotta go, he's staying at my house.

• 1:24:31Sam Morril?

  It's a nice spot to stay, right?

• 1:24:32Mark Normand?

  I don't even notice him.

• 1:24:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's, I mean, that's a flex in New York City.

• 1:24:35Mark Normand?

  That's a good sign, yeah.

• 1:24:36Sam Morril?

  And you got that little backyard area?

• 1:24:38Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 1:24:39Sam Morril?

  You set up that cold plunge yet?

• 1:24:40Mark Normand?

  No, I did the hot tub, you got a come over, I can't do it.

• 1:24:44Sam Morril?

  I gotta, I, I, it's been a few days for me, but it's kinda nice to have out there.

• 1:24:48Mark Normand?

  It is, and it's summer, it would be great to get a dip.

• 1:24:50Sam Morril?

  Oh, I get a dip, you freeze, you feel great.

• 1:24:53Mark Normand?

  And the, the, the health benefits are really good, I hear.

• 1:24:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I think you feel good.

• 1:24:58Mark Normand?

  You wanna, you wanna help me with the cold plunge?

• 1:24:59Sam Morril?

  It's not that hard to set up, dude.

• 1:25:01Mark Normand?

  We can look into it, all we gotta do is just get those instructions and really.

• 1:25:06Sam Morril?

  It's fun to have a project sometimes.

• 1:25:07Mark Normand?

  That's true, that's true.

• 1:25:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:10Mark Normand?

  Buckle up.

• 1:25:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:12Mark Normand?

  We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. Are you here this weekend?

• 1:25:15Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:25:15Mark Normand?

  When do you leave?

• 1:25:16Speaker 02

  Thursday. We'll figure it out.

• 1:25:18Sam Morril?

  We gotta do some more Bodega Cat stuff. We gotta take it to the next level. It's doing well at Comedy Store, right?

• 1:25:23Speaker 02

  Doing really well at the Comedy Store.

• 1:25:24Sam Morril?

  The Whiskey Sour?

• 1:25:26Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:25:26Sam Morril?

  I'm going, I'm going to LA in a couple of weeks. I'll probably, I'll hit you up and I also, I might do, I might do a show at the Comedy Store. I'll figure something out.

• 1:25:32Speaker 02

  Do it, yeah. They've been really good to us.

• 1:25:34Sam Morril?

  Alright, I should be okay with that.

• 1:25:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, so, that was, that was awesome. Mark performed there. That was, that was great.

• 1:25:38Mark Normand?

  They did a show in the main room. They did a Bodega Cat special. We sold a thousand of those cocktails. It was great.

• 1:25:43Sam Morril?

  I love it.

• 1:25:45Mark Normand?

  So yeah, thank you Comedy Store. The improv is giving, getting weird. I did the set there too and they were like, "We want Bodega."

• 1:25:52Sam Morril?

  But they, but they won't do it, right? "Hey improv, what the hell? We wanna be at the improv too."

• 1:25:56Mark Normand?

  We're trying.

• 1:25:57Sam Morril?

  Melrose Improv. What the, what the, uh, hell?

• 1:26:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:01Sam Morril?

  "We wanna have Bodega Cat there. We'll come by. We'll say what's up."

• 1:26:04Mark Normand?

  Where else needs some love? Who else is that?

• 1:26:06Sam Morril?

  How about Laugh Factory? How we doing?

• 1:26:08Speaker 02

  Uh, it's work in progress still. I think you know, yeah, we've talked about it.

• 1:26:12Mark Normand?

  What about Gotham? Have you tried Gotham?

• 1:26:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, so we're gonna be, I gotta check with Vinny, but yeah, anything we can do. They, they're ordering.

• 1:26:18Sam Morril?

  That's Stress Factory.

• 1:26:19Speaker 02

  Oh, Stress Factory. So, shoot, who's Gotham?

• 1:26:22Mark Normand?

  Sean or, uh, Bazili?

• 1:26:24Sam Morril?

  We should talk about this off air.

• 1:26:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, probably this is gonna be really boring.

• 1:26:27Sam Morril?

  Sorry about that, guys. We're trying to make this liquor move to the next level and we're trying to figure it out and as you probably guessed, Mark and I are not good businessmen.

• 1:26:35Mark Normand?

  Nooo. We're working on it.

• 1:26:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Wow, look at that dumb shot of me. I really think I'm cool. Fuck me, ugh. I look like I'm narrated. It was my fourth drink of Bodega Cat that night and I knew the dame was near. Problem was, I was gonna get drunk. Yeah.

• 1:26:53Mark Normand?

  You're doing, yeah, you're doing a lot of international.

• 1:26:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I'm going hard, buddy. I'm going like fucking, starting in, uh... Saudi Arabia like you, then Barcelona, Milan. I'm gonna pop in a Rome and see what's up there. Maybe there's a show there.

• 1:27:06Mark Normand?

  Wow, listen to you, pop in a Rome.

• 1:27:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Do a little poppin', do uh, do Dublin, Liverpool, uh...

• 1:27:16Mark Normand?

  Have you done Dublin?

• 1:27:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's great, I love it.

• 1:27:18Mark Normand?

  I'd say one of the best crowds in the country. Oh, we did that festival?

• 1:27:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:27:22Sam Morril?

  Uh, I've done, yeah, I've done it a couple of times. Uh, I got London, Liverpool, Paris, Amsterdam and Berlin.

• 1:27:29Mark Normand?

  Jesus, this is a great run.

• 1:27:32Sam Morril?

  So we better backlog some fucking episodes.

• 1:27:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we gotta back.

• 1:27:35Sam Morril?

  Cause we're both never here. Luckily, we're kinda going away at the same time, though.

• 1:27:38Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:27:39Sam Morril?

  That does help.

• 1:27:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and, and I'm back, that's in October, right?

• 1:27:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:44Mark Normand?

  Alright, so we gotta go two months.

• 1:27:45Sam Morril?

  I've got most of October, yeah. But we'll go hard, man.

• 1:27:49Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, I wanna just get this special down so I can move on from it.

• 1:27:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean, what, like, what's, where's it at right now?

• 1:27:55Mark Normand?

  It's done, it's, I mean, it's, uh, the hour is ready to go.

• 1:27:58Sam Morril?

  Is it an hour and a dot, or you're doing like fifty, what are you thinking?

• 1:28:00Mark Normand?

  I think, I have about like an hour five, but I think I'm just gonna give like a fifty-five.

• 1:28:05Sam Morril?

  I like that.

• 1:28:05Mark Normand?

  You know?

• 1:28:06Sam Morril?

  It's great.

• 1:28:06Mark Normand?

  Just hold on to some of it, um...

• 1:28:08Sam Morril?

  Do you know what the set's gonna look like?

• 1:28:11Mark Normand?

  Like the order, or the, the set set?

• 1:28:13Sam Morril?

  Both.

• 1:28:13Mark Normand?

  Uh, yeah, the order's already down, and, uh, I think the set, I'm gonna keep it simple. I'm gonna do lights of green, yellow and purple.

• 1:28:22Sam Morril?

  Get a good lighting guy, though.

• 1:28:23Mark Normand?

  We got a great lighting guy, great sound guy. Beautiful sound, great sound. And, uh, yeah, so I'm pumped, I got a couple ideas for the intro, and, uh...

• 1:28:34Sam Morril?

  You do a little sketch, or you just go straight in?

• 1:28:36Mark Normand?

  I'm gonna go straight in, but it's a, it's a weird idea.

• 1:28:39Sam Morril?

  I'm, I'm pumped to hear about this.

• 1:28:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so we'll, we'll see what happens there, and then I just wanna put this thing down. I wanna have that, that, that magic period, that grace period of like, once the special's down, and you're still touring it for a while, and no one knows yet, before it comes out.

• 1:28:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:53Mark Normand?

  I love that moment.

• 1:28:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's fucking beautiful, but it, it doesn't last long, and it...

• 1:28:58Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:28:58Sam Morril?

  And it, it creeps up on ya. I don't know, I'm gonna write another fucking hour after this. I'm kinda like, I'm good with it, I think like this hour's kinda working, but like, I don't know how I'm gonna do it again, I'm like, I'm, I'm bone dry, buddy.

• 1:29:09Mark Normand?

  We say that every time, though.

• 1:29:10Sam Morril?

  But I'm fucking bone dry for real this time, it's, it's too many, it's too many of these.

• 1:29:14Mark Normand?

  You put out a lot, but it's no rush, there's no rush.

• 1:29:16Sam Morril?

  No, I know, I know, but I'll probably, I'll probably burn it next year.

• 1:29:20Mark Normand?

  What the hell?

• 1:29:21Sam Morril?

  What?

• 1:29:22Mark Normand?

  I'm not gonna put an hour out, nah, next year.

• 1:29:24Sam Morril?

  Well, I mean, I'm kinda sick of the jokes, you know?

• 1:29:26Mark Normand?

  Already?

• 1:29:27Sam Morril?

  Well, it's, I put one out last July. It's been over a year.

• 1:29:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, is it last July already?

• 1:29:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's been over a year.

• 1:29:33Mark Normand?

  Geez, I thought it was like, yeah.

• 1:29:34Sam Morril?

  At a certain point, what are we doing? A year and a half, two years max? I kinda like...

• 1:29:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, shit.

• 1:29:40Sam Morril?

  I'll probably take a little more time with the next one. I definitely will take more time with the next one.

• 1:29:43Mark Normand?

  Damn, so it's already close?

• 1:29:45Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:46Mark Normand?

  Wow, that's incredible.

• 1:29:47Sam Morril?

  I think, we'll see.

• 1:29:49Mark Normand?

  That's incredible.

• 1:29:50Sam Morril?

  We'll see.

• 1:29:51Mark Normand?

  I think, yeah, for the next one, just take your time.

• 1:29:54Sam Morril?

  I'm gonna take my fucking time, dude.

• 1:29:56Mark Normand?

  Cause, uh, there's no rush.

• 1:29:57Sam Morril?

  No rush.

• 1:29:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, geez.

• 1:30:00Sam Morril?

  What do you got coming up, Mark?

• 1:30:01Mark Normand?

  Alright, I'm at the, uh, yeah, when's this, geez, when's this come out? Later in the year.

• 1:30:07Mark Normand?

  Akron, Ohio, baby. Dayton, Ohio. Halifax, never been there. I'm excited to go. I think that one's...

• 1:30:14Sam Morril?

  Smoked salmon, is that what they're known for?

• 1:30:15Mark Normand?

  Smoked salmon, uh, cream cheese and lox.

• 1:30:18Sam Morril?

  Woo!

• 1:30:19Mark Normand?

  It's a, I hear it's like a cool, hip, kinda crunchy town. I can't wait.

• 1:30:23Sam Morril?

  Send some pics, I wanna, I wanna know what it's like.

• 1:30:24Mark Normand?

  Ottawa, Huntsville, Hattiesburg, San Jose, Boulder, we gotta sell that one out. We added a show. Riyadh in Saudi Arabia, that one's moving. Greece is moving. Oslo is tough. Pick up the Oslo, Oslo tickets. Helsinki, Stockholm, Dublin, Valley Center Casino, Magoob's outside Baltimore, Rochester, New York, Niagara Falls, San Diego, at the Observatory.

• 1:30:50Sam Morril?

  Have you been to San Diego Chili? Twice last year.

• 1:30:53Mark Normand?

  Twice last year.

• 1:30:56Sam Morril?

  What do we got? Uh, this comes out when?

• 1:31:00Sam Morril?

  Of August? Oh, so I got, um, September 19th, I'm at the Venetian in Las Vegas. Can't wait, it's gonna be really fun. You know, I was gonna get there a day early to go to the Sphere and see the Wizard of Oz, but everyone's saying it's not, movies, music there is the best ever, but movies, they haven't quite figured out, but we'll see, I guess. I kinda just wanna go.

• 1:31:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I would go. My friend went and saw Backstreet Boys, just as a goof, and said it was amazing.

• 1:31:24Sam Morril?

  That's amazing.

• 1:31:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:25Sam Morril?

  Now he's gay. Anyway, Rochester, New York, September 25th through 27th. The Comedy at the Carlson Great Club. I got the Chicago Theater, October 4th, Winnipeg, the 5th, Saudi Arabia, Riyadh, October 8th, Barcelona, Spain, on the 10th, then Milan, Italy, Dublin, the 16th, the 17th, Liverpool, then London, the 19th, the 21st in Paris, then the 22nd in Amsterdam, the 25th in Berlin, then November 14th through 16th, I'm going back to Wise Guys in Salt Lake City. I've already been there this year, but I love the club so much, I figured, what the fuck, Salt Lake crowds, you're the best. November 29th, Reno, Nevada, at the Atlantis Casino, and December 4th, Carnegie Motherfucking

• 1:32:08Sam Morril?

  Hall, I'll see you there. Punchup.live slash Mark Norman, Punchup.live slash Sam Morril. Bodega Cat Whiskey, hit up Matt, hit us all up, Bodega Cat Whiskey on Instagram, DM him, or what's the...

• 1:32:23Speaker 02

  I got it wrong the first time, [email protected].

• 1:32:27Mark Normand?

  There it is.

• 1:32:27Sam Morril?

  So we'll fix that and post there.

• 1:32:29Mark Normand?

  That's the guy, the guy behind the bottle.

• 1:32:31Sam Morril?

  Perfect, and we love you guys, we'll see you very soon.

• 1:32:35Mark Normand?

  Hell yeah, keep drinking, queefs. Freakin' queefs.

• 1:33:26Speaker 05

  We need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, theHouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.