Ep 216: Blake Griffin

Big man Blake Griffin joins us in studio this week, we talk basketball, stand up comedy, and much more. This was a really fun episode, hope you enjoy it. Watch Blake Griffin, Dirk Nowitzki coming up as analysts for new Prime Video studio show for the NBA. Chubbies is here to help you take on 2025 in style. Get 20% off @chubbies with the code DRUNKS at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/DRUNKS Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD WMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ WMBD Clips Page: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: YouTube Channel: @sammorril Instagram: https://instagram.com/sammorril Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: YouTube Channel: @marknormand Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets We Might Be Drunk is produced by Gotham Production Studios https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ @GothamProductionStudios Producer Matt Peters: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #wemightbedrunk #marknormand #sammorril #podcast #drunkpodcast #comedy #comedian #funny #gothampodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Mark Normand?

  Hey, hey, maybe our earliest episode yet.

• 0:09Sam Morril?

  Got to appease the guest sometimes.

• 0:11Mark Normand?

  You got that right, fatty. Here we are.

• 0:13Sam Morril?

  Mixed it up. Went whole milk in the coffee today.

• 0:15Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 0:17Sam Morril?

  I like oat better.

• 0:17Mark Normand?

  I'm an oat man.

• 0:18Sam Morril?

  Eh, I just figured we'd mix it up.

• 0:20Mark Normand?

  Alright, well, don't get married. You like mixing it up. Those days are over.

• 0:25Sam Morril?

  She's pregnant. That's mixing it up a little.

• 0:27Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 0:27Sam Morril?

  You have to fuck a pregnant chick.

• 0:28Mark Normand?

  That's true. It's not mine, but yeah. Yeah, pregnant. We had pregnant sex the other night. It's pretty wild, because I think they feel more.

• 0:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 0:36Mark Normand?

  They're more sensitive.

• 0:36Sam Morril?

  I've always wanted women to be more sensitive. That's my...

• 0:39Mark Normand?

  Well, physically, physically.

• 0:41Sam Morril?

  I love Nikki's joke at the Globes where she goes, uh, what was it? Fuck, I'm butchering the joke I'm bringing up, but it's like, you know, night bitch, queer.

• 0:51Mark Normand?

  Oh, yes.

• 0:52Sam Morril?

  Just things Ben Affleck says during sex.

• 0:54Mark Normand?

  Wicked, yeah, yeah.

• 0:56Sam Morril?

  I love that one.

• 0:57Mark Normand?

  Boy, she brought out the twins on the writer photo, by the way. Good lord.

• 1:01Sam Morril?

  I love that our friend Mike Lawrence in the top right is the only one who's not in a tux or a suit.

• 1:05Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's right.

• 1:06Sam Morril?

  Everyone else is dressed to the nines. He's in a Fantastic Four shirt. He's the best.

• 1:11Mark Normand?

  He looks like the homeless guy that got in for the bagels. Uh, we gotta give a shit. What a, what a set.

• 1:17Sam Morril?

  That was great.

• 1:17Mark Normand?

  And I'm not talking about the tits.

• 1:18Sam Morril?

  I know. I thought you were, but...

• 1:20Mark Normand?

  I'm talking about, is that Bonnie?

• 1:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, Bonnie McFarlane.

• 1:23Sam Morril?

  A lot of great writers in here.

• 1:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:25Sam Morril?

  Great writer. A lot of great writers.

• 1:27Mark Normand?

  I saw JP last night at a New York Comedy Club, and I just was like, hey, and he goes, hey, and I go, "Congratulations!" And he was like, "Thank you." He was waiting for it.

• 1:35Sam Morril?

  He wanted it.

• 1:36Mark Normand?

  You know, she ran the set 130 times.

• 1:38Sam Morril?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:39Mark Normand?

  130. I mean, this is a workhorse.

• 1:42Sam Morril?

  Do the math there. So that's like, uh... She had, what, a month? She had a month? No, it'll math out. Say if a month, 30 times, what, 5?

• 1:53Mark Normand?

  Is...

• 1:54Sam Morril?

  Is what?

• 1:54Mark Normand?

  150.

• 1:56Sam Morril?

  So, and you said 130?

• 1:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:58Sam Morril?

  So that, yeah, that makes sense.

• 1:59Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 2:00Sam Morril?

  You bounce around. I could see that. Maybe she had longer than that.

• 2:02Mark Normand?

  I think she had a little longer. She's been known about it for a while, but yeah, that's, she's... JP was telling me it just kept changing and morphing, and I was like, "We had the same thing with the roast."

• 2:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah. I did the same thing with my kid.

• 2:14Mark Normand?

  Transitioning?

• 2:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah. I went for it. Uh, no. Look, uh, I totally get it, cuz you're like, what is it, a four-minute set? And then you're like, 130? I get it, 140 sets?

• 2:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you gotta run it. You got to run. If I learned anything from that Jelly Roll Bomb, you gotta run it.

• 2:30Sam Morril?

  The infamous Jelly Roll Bomb.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  Have you seen this taken off online?

• 2:33Mark Normand?

  I have! Some fucking chooch made a YouTube video like, "Mark Norman has meltdown." I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, I brought it up, dickless." You're not uncovering-

• 2:42Sam Morril?

  You have footage of it?

• 2:42Mark Normand?

  No, no. They don't, right? No footage?

• 2:45Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 2:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, thank God. I can't have that out there.

• 2:47Sam Morril?

  It's like Epstein's suicide.

• 2:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, I'd rather that. I'd rather be on the island. Put me on that list.

• 2:53Sam Morril?

  He had a more graceful death, from what I've heard.

• 2:55Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly. Exactly. At least he got off. Uh, but yeah, yeah. So, uh, she killed it, and she looked great. Even like, the little silly stuff, the Adam Sandler Shalhoub thing. You see that?

• 3:07Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:07Mark Normand?

  Shalaboo, shalaboo! I mean, Sandler was ready to go.

• 3:11Sam Morril?

  It's a risk to do the voice. Cuz she hadn't done an act out to that point. It was all kinda just straight jokes.

• 3:17Mark Normand?

  Totally.

• 3:17Sam Morril?

  And then she's like, "Woo-hoo, ha-ha." You know, the Sandler thing, and you're like, "Oh shit, there's a risk." But it worked.

• 3:21Mark Normand?

  It worked, cuz it wasn't killing, and then he saved it.

• 3:24Sam Morril?

  But then she kept going, and then he brought it in. And then she took another risk with that Pope thing. I respected it.

• 3:29Mark Normand?

  Wait, what was the Pope thing?

• 3:30Sam Morril?

  She did the Conclave Wicked Musical thing.

• 3:34Mark Normand?

  I didn't see the Pope.

• 3:35Sam Morril?

  Oh, it was cool.

• 3:35Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 3:36Sam Morril?

  You know, it was just silly.

• 3:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 3:38Sam Morril?

  Like, she did a little bit of like, that combination, and then she started singing it, and it... And she did like, a mic in her ear, like, "Oh, this is terrible? It's bombing." And she was just trashing herself.

• 3:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's good.

• 3:50Sam Morril?

  Like, "I'm making a fool of myself in front of Elton John?"

• 3:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 3:54Sam Morril?

  It was fun. It was silly.

• 3:55Mark Normand?

  The only person who I know didn't like the monologue was Joe Coy. All right.

• 4:01Sam Morril?

  Holy shit, dude.

• 4:02Mark Normand?

  That was a year ago.

• 4:02Sam Morril?

  I totally forgot about it.

• 4:04Mark Normand?

  That was January 2024, yeah.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Joe Coy's a great comic.

• 4:07Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 4:08Speaker 02

  How hard this gig is.

• 4:10Mark Normand?

  And how much you gotta prepare. I mean, 130 sets. Look at that writers' room. What is that? 20 guys? How many people is that?

• 4:17Sam Morril?

  I think it takes a certain type of comic, though, to host it.

• 4:20Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 4:20Sam Morril?

  Just cuz you kill in one- Area doesn't mean you're the right fit for this, you know?

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Well, what did she bring that he couldn't?

• 4:27Mark Normand?

  She's a jokey kinda comic, and I think he's more persona, act out, yeah, stories, likeable. She's more cutting and she knows a good joke. She's done a million roasts.

• 4:40Sam Morril?

  Conan's doing the Oscars. Maybe this is a sign that that funny is back. It's not about anything but funny now.

• 4:46Mark Normand?

  That would be great. What a concept.

• 4:48Sam Morril?

  Funny.

• 4:49Mark Normand?

  A funny host, a funny comedian.

• 4:52Sam Morril?

  I want to hear more about the war. That's what I want to hear. I want more war references.

• 4:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, I know.

• 5:00Sam Morril?

  More celebrities saying, "We need to do something." I mean, that was one of her best jokes is the one that like, "You guys can do anything except tell people how to vote." Cause it's like, kinda like, that's the tone now and that kinda, you know?

• 5:12Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 5:12Sam Morril?

  Whatever. Alright.

• 5:13Mark Normand?

  Well, Whitney went for it too. Whitney had a little more of a QAnon bent, but she had a, she had a crazy joke-heavy rant as well.

• 5:23Sam Morril?

  At the end, she said Sandy Hook wasn't real, which I thought was weird, but uh, I thought, I thought what Whitney did was really funny because um, up top, she's just like, I mean, to me, it reminds like the shit we would do on morning TV, but you're on CNN New Year.

• 5:38Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 5:38Sam Morril?

  So you're playing really to the people at home. You're not, you're gonna, you have to just accept you're gonna bomb.

• 5:42Mark Normand?

  Right. That was a tough scenario. She, she stayed in the pocket. I couldn't believe it.

• 5:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 5:48Mark Normand?

  I mean, Anderson Cooper wanted to kill her.

• 5:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 5:50Mark Normand?

  He just got a pay cut too, so that must've been awkward. Like, "You're shitting on my network right after I got a pay cut."

• 5:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah, well, he'll be alright, I think.

• 5:57Mark Normand?

  He'll be fine.

• 5:57Sam Morril?

  He's made a lot.

• 5:58Mark Normand?

  And he's a, he's a Vanderbilt as well.

• 6:00Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:00Mark Normand?

  He also looks like he's made of icing, doesn't he? He's like too white. It's bothering me.

• 6:05Sam Morril?

  I thought you said you wanted to eat him.

• 6:08Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 6:08Sam Morril?

  He is, he is uh, that doc on him was brutal. Did you see that?

• 6:13Mark Normand?

  No.

• 6:13Sam Morril?

  I mean, he watched his brother kill himself.

• 6:15Mark Normand?

  What?

• 6:16Sam Morril?

  He's had a, he had a dark life.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  Did his brother commit suicide at Dalton?

• 6:20Sam Morril?

  I think he was at home. No, he jumped out the window. Whatever he saw, you can look it up. I'm pretty sure we watched him. This is uplifting stuff.

• 6:27Mark Normand?

  Holy hell.

• 6:28Sam Morril?

  I brought it up. I'm sorry. It's my fault.

• 6:30Mark Normand?

  I had no idea.

• 6:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 6:32Mark Normand?

  Andy Cohen's a fun guy. I'd like to hang out with him.

• 6:35Sam Morril?

  He's a saucy dude.

• 6:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Big fan. He gets after it. He drinks. Uh oh, is that the brother?

• 6:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 6:42Mark Normand?

  Ooh. "The 35 years yesterday since my brother Carter Cooper died, I think of him and miss him every day." Well, there you go.

• 6:51Sam Morril?

  Man, man.

• 6:51Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 6:53Sam Morril?

  It's depressing.

• 6:53Mark Normand?

  Well, that's my rec for the week. That documentary. No.

• 6:57Sam Morril?

  I got a rec, by the way.

• 6:59Mark Normand?

  Please.

• 6:59Sam Morril?

  And it's, I know we got emailed this rec when we used to do more Patreon stuff and when we would take user emails. It's a movie called, uh, fuck, I can't believe, Another Round.

• 7:11Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 7:12Sam Morril?

  Danish movie, Matt Nicholson. Dude, it's amazing.

• 7:15Mark Normand?

  With the booze.

• 7:16Sam Morril?

  It's about these, uh, teachers who are all miserable. And they decide that, you know, they're talking about this philosopher who says, uh, your blood alcohol level is .5 too low, so if you can maintain an alcohol level of .5, then you're gonna be better at your job.

• 7:32Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 7:33Sam Morril?

  And this guy's a bore. Everyone can't stand him. He used to be interesting.

• 7:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 7:36Sam Morril?

  But now he's just become boring. And now at school, the kids are loving him, he's engaging, his wife is fucking him again, you know, but then it's like, of course, it spirals out of control.

• 7:48Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 7:48Sam Morril?

  So it's, uh, there's parts that are a little slow, but you gotta give it a minute to build and, dude, the ending's amazing. It's awesome.

• 7:55Mark Normand?

  I saw half of it on a plane. I remember enjoying it, but I haven't seen the ending.

• 7:59Sam Morril?

  Gotta finish, man. Yeah, our buddy Ronon Hirschberg, who by the way, made a short horror film that is amazing.

• 8:05Mark Normand?

  Come on!

• 8:06Sam Morril?

  I loved it.

• 8:07Mark Normand?

  Well, he shits on every goddamn movie.

• 8:09Sam Morril?

  So he better bring it.

• 8:10Mark Normand?

  He better bring it. So I can't wait to see it in trash.

• 8:12Sam Morril?

  It is very good.

• 8:13Mark Normand?

  Okay, great.

• 8:14Sam Morril?

  It is very good.

• 8:14Mark Normand?

  And he liked this?

• 8:15Sam Morril?

  He loves it.

• 8:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, great, okay.

• 8:17Sam Morril?

  Hey, that's what he said. He's like, "You should watch this." I'm like, "Alright, slow down." He goes, "I hate everything, so my rec should carry more weight." And I go, "You know what? You got a point."

• 8:24Mark Normand?

  I guess so. He carries weight. But, uh, yeah, he's one tough heeb to please, so I'm excited now.

• 8:31Sam Morril?

  He really is.

• 8:31Mark Normand?

  He's a tough cookie. Uh, he's Ebert. He's our Ebert.

• 8:34Sam Morril?

  He is our Ebert.

• 8:35Mark Normand?

  Eat-bert.

• 8:38Mark Normand?

  But, uh... I was gonna say one more thing about Nikki, but I'll move on.

• 8:43Sam Morril?

  Alright, no.

• 8:43Mark Normand?

  I'm growing up. Well, it was gonna be about her boobs. But, uh, so I'll move on. Look at me, moving on. Huh? Count it. Uh, but yeah, you're talking Rex. Squid Game is blowing my tits off. The thing about Squid Game is it's wildly violent, crazy murder. See, she was all legs before, and I feel like she's finally bringing the ladies out.

• 9:05Sam Morril?

  The problem with the thing is like, we already have ADD, him doing the things. You were in the middle of another story.

• 9:10Mark Normand?

  I know, and he brought the cans out.

• 9:12Sam Morril?

  You're talking about Squid Games, he's looking at pictures of Nikki's legs.

• 9:14Mark Normand?

  Literally Googled Nikki Glaser's boobs.

• 9:16Sam Morril?

  The problem is, this is like when your friend's ignoring you while he's on your phone, but you see his phone.

• 9:21Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly. This is sound like he's a screensaver, is Nikki's tits, but...

• 9:26Sam Morril?

  He typed in her legs, it was already up there for some reason, he already been searching this.

• 9:29Mark Normand?

  She's a friend. I'm not, I'm saying this as a friend, obviously, but she's always been the leg gal. Hey, look at me in high heels, hey, look at me in the short skirt, look at me, legs crossed. But she's always had a, a, a great pair.

• 9:44Mark Normand?

  And, you know, I've known her for years, and, uh, I've been waiting for this reveal of like, hey, one of the, look, see, it's all leg, leg, leg, leg.

• 9:51Sam Morril?

  You're right.

• 9:52Mark Normand?

  And, uh, finally, I feel like the, the cans are coming out, and it's, it's right on time, if you ask me.

• 9:57Sam Morril?

  I was gonna say, I thought she's grown as a comedian. Yeah, you know.

• 10:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't, I don't care for her.

• 10:03Sam Morril?

  No, you're right. She, she, she's, she's definitely, uh, it's like when a player starts rebounding, too.

• 10:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 10:10Sam Morril?

  Not just the score anymore, you're doing all the other stuff.

• 10:12Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 10:13Sam Morril?

  Good for you, Nikki. Wow, look at that.

• 10:14Mark Normand?

  Yes, that's what I'm saying. It was legs for days, and look, the legs are great, nice set of stems.

• 10:19Sam Morril?

  Are you a leg man, a butt man, or, or a breast man?

• 10:22Mark Normand?

  I like all of them, that's my problem.

• 10:23Sam Morril?

  Me too. I, I, I kinda, I resent when people ask, but I, I felt I needed to ask.

• 10:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, you know what's underrated? Hip to waist ratio.

• 10:31Sam Morril?

  Ooh.

• 10:32Mark Normand?

  That's what nobody talks about, but that's what hits the, the, the caveman.

• 10:35Sam Morril?

  You want that, like Jessica Rabbit type.

• 10:37Mark Normand?

  Yes, you want the hourglass, 'cause sometimes you see a hot lady, but it's like this.

• 10:42Mark Normand?

  And that really doesn't hit the primal passion like the

• 10:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 10:47Mark Normand?

  You know, and hips are great too.

• 10:49Sam Morril?

  Well, that is a part, kind of a part of having a great ass sometimes.

• 10:52Mark Normand?

  That's true. That's true. You need the in and the out and the waist. But yeah, alright, I'll move on.

• 10:58Sam Morril?

  It is funny though when you're like, you're just so obsessed with, for me, like tits is the first thing you're into when you're young. Like ass you appreciate as you're a little older.

• 11:06Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 11:07Sam Morril?

  But when you're really young, tits are, it's all about, oh my god tits.

• 11:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:10Sam Morril?

  And then you hold them, you're like, they're just tits. You know what I mean? But on like, you see all these movies and you're like, oh my god, the reveal of the tits where you build it up so much.

• 11:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:19Sam Morril?

  But then, same with like fake tits. You expecting this amazing thing, you're like, no, they're just, they don't move a lot. It's kind of hard.

• 11:24Mark Normand?

  They're hard tits, yeah. They're fake tits.

• 11:26Sam Morril?

  They make nicer ones now than, you know.

• 11:29Mark Normand?

  I think tits are like wrestling. Yeah, we know they're fake, but I'm still on board.

• 11:35Mark Normand?

  And then pro, uh, real wrestling is great too.

• 11:38Sam Morril?

  Nah, real wrestling's not as good.

• 11:39Mark Normand?

  That's true. That's true. Good point. It's a good point. Well, at least it's real.

• 11:43Sam Morril?

  Fake took real, made it better.

• 11:45Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 11:45Sam Morril?

  There's a storyline.

• 11:46Mark Normand?

  There's a storyline, there's a folding chair, there's uh, pink tights.

• 11:50Sam Morril?

  I went to wrestling at MSU, it was fun as hell, man. Did I tell you that?

• 11:54Mark Normand?

  No, no. Oh, with the lady?

• 11:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:56Sam Morril?

  Fun.

• 11:57Mark Normand?

  That's awesome.

• 11:57Sam Morril?

  It's on Raw now, or it's on uh, Netflix now.

• 12:00Mark Normand?

  Do you get into it? Do you go, ahhhh?

• 12:02Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's fun. And the people, you see some people around you, you're like, oh, these people like, they fucking need this. I like that.

• 12:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:08Sam Morril?

  I like that there's like some hardcore people that are like, I don't know.

• 12:12Mark Normand?

  I'm with you. I, this is gonna be a leap, but I think it's similar to kiddie porn.

• 12:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 12:17Mark Normand?

  Where...

• 12:18Sam Morril?

  In that they're both awesome.

• 12:19Mark Normand?

  They're, they're both great, but I think uh, these guys go to these fucking nerds and psychos, go to these shows and they get it out. They get their, their evil out, you know? Kiddie porn, I'm not saying I approve of it, and I'm not saying you should go out and make any, but if it already exists and a guy watches it, maybe he's getting it out. Okay, let's change this.

• 12:44Mark Normand?

  A victimless crime.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 12:46Sam Morril?

  I'm sure these wrestlers who gave everything to their life are really happy with the comparison.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  A, D, whatever.

• 12:50Mark Normand?

  AI.

• 12:51Speaker 02

  AI version, no one's hurt.

• 12:53Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 12:53Sam Morril?

  AI.

• 12:54Mark Normand?

  He likes kids anyway.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 12:56Mark Normand?

  He can.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  Hurt in the one you're talking about.

• 12:58Sam Morril?

  I'll take it further, wrestling, and that might be better than wrestling, because wrestling, people get hurt.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 13:03Mark Normand?

  People die, suicide, drugs.

• 13:05Sam Morril?

  It's tough.

• 13:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the health, health bills, the healthcare bills are crazy.

• 13:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 13:10Mark Normand?

  I mean, how fucked up are wrestlers these days?

• 13:12Sam Morril?

  The still shots are pretty funny, though, because he looks like he's just like laying down.

• 13:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he does.

• 13:17Sam Morril?

  He's like, hey, you need to lay down for a second, buddy? Doesn't look painful.

• 13:21Mark Normand?

  No, but they're all addicted to opioids and steroids.

• 13:24Sam Morril?

  Dude, think about how sore we are just flying.

• 13:26Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 13:27Sam Morril?

  We're just flying to like a road gig, I'm like, fuck, I'm stiff. These dudes are doing that and then just like jumping off a top rope, they're older than us.

• 13:33Mark Normand?

  Yes, and they're huge men. I mean, like, just to stay in that kind of shape and they're drawing all kinds of roids and T and testosterone, Ozempic, who the fuck knows?

• 13:45Sam Morril?

  I don't think they're taking Ozempic.

• 13:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah, maybe not.

• 13:47Sam Morril?

  Maybe they're really fat guys.

• 13:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but some people want to be a fat wrestler, like, that's their thing.

• 13:53Sam Morril?

  That's the whole thing.

• 13:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, like Butterbean or whoever.

• 13:56Sam Morril?

  God, remember Bam Bam Bigelow?

• 13:57Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:58Sam Morril?

  King Kong Bundy?

• 13:59Mark Normand?

  No.

• 13:59Sam Morril?

  I guess they all had to have three names.

• 14:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 14:01Sam Morril?

  They're like school shooters.

• 14:04Mark Normand?

  Thomas Matthew Crooks. Look at this fucking guy, Jesus. That guy's got zero muscle.

• 14:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's not a good look.

• 14:13Mark Normand?

  Nah.

• 14:14Sam Morril?

  Also, they could have picked a more flattering outfit.

• 14:17Mark Normand?

  I think that was the point.

• 14:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, oh, man, look at that. He looks like the fucking sloth from Goonies.

• 14:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, no neck.

• 14:23Sam Morril?

  Brutal.

• 14:23Mark Normand?

  Yikes. That other guy looks great.

• 14:26Sam Morril?

  Razor Ramon, dude, that guy was cool.

• 14:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's a hunk.

• 14:30Sam Morril?

  Fucking dead, dude.

• 14:32Mark Normand?

  See?

• 14:32Sam Morril?

  Died young.

• 14:33Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 14:33Sam Morril?

  They all do.

• 14:34Mark Normand?

  How'd he go?

• 14:35Sam Morril?

  I don't know, he was a drug addict and an alcoholic for year, for years, and, uh, I think DDP got him healthy. Like, Diamond Dallas Page is like an incredible guy, and he just gets people, he'd had this yoga program where he would let these guys live with him, and he just got them sober.

• 14:50Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 14:51Sam Morril?

  He saved a lot of lives, and that was one of them, but I think.

• 14:53Speaker 03

  He did a doc with Butterbean, where he rehabbed Butterbean.

• 14:56Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 14:56Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 14:57Sam Morril?

  No shit.

• 14:58Mark Normand?

  What's he called now? Marjorie Bean?

• 15:03Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 15:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah, his parents shouldn't have named him that.

• 15:07Mark Normand?

  I think the whole thing's a crock. Country crock. Alright. Uh, but yeah, Squid Game.

• 15:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 15:12Mark Normand?

  It's very good. It's very, see, everybody thinks it's murder, it's Asians, it's, uh, there's no diversity, but...

• 15:19Sam Morril?

  By the way, it is all three of those things.

• 15:20Mark Normand?

  That's true, but it's more, it's, it's got meaning, it's got symbolism, it's all about capitalism and society and greed, and here's the cool thing, I don't, I don't give anything away, but

• 15:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 15:31Mark Normand?

  in the show, in the show, they all have to play these games. Whoever doesn't win the game gets killed. But all the games are kids' games that they all grew up playing, so it's kinda like, "Hey, you greedy cunts, go back to your childhood where you were pure."

• 15:44Sam Morril?

  Ooh.

• 15:45Mark Normand?

  And, and if you can't, you're gonna die. And that's the symbolism, it's like, "Hey, we gotta get out of this rat race and just go back to when we were happy."

• 15:52Sam Morril?

  You're right. That's interesting. Yeah, I mean, it, I kinda was like, they kinda nailed season one, I was kinda like, what are they gonna? It also, also the problem with some of these turnarounds with these big budget shows is like, by the time the second season comes out, you're like, "Oh, yeah."

• 16:05Mark Normand?

  I know, I know.

• 16:06Sam Morril?

  It's so, like, what's it been, two, three years since this show's out?

• 16:09Mark Normand?

  But it's such a big production with these sets and the killing and the violence, it's all these actors they have to write for, I mean, it's a lot of, a lot of moving parts.

• 16:17Sam Morril?

  This guy's aged like Obama, look at that, he doesn't even look the same.

• 16:20Mark Normand?

  I think it's a hairpiece, but he's doing, he had, he won the money, he won the last season, so...

• 16:24Sam Morril?

  He has to go back?

• 16:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, he goes back, he's like, "I'm gonna end this fucking thing, I gotta go into the inside and, and end it."

• 16:31Sam Morril?

  Interesting.

• 16:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, there he is, yeah.

• 16:34Sam Morril?

  Yeah, the hair is all different.

• 16:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 16:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah, alright, I, look, I thought the first one was pretty incredible.

• 16:39Mark Normand?

  I mean, it's worth it just to put on while you're, while you're shaving or jerking it or whatever, cause, uh, it, it's, the, the games are incredible, it's like a Tarantino movie where the dialogue is great and everything, but you're really there for the, for the Brad Pitt beating up hippies.

• 16:53Sam Morril?

  Right.

• 16:54Mark Normand?

  In, in Hollywood.

• 16:55Sam Morril?

  God, that was fun.

• 16:56Mark Normand?

  That was a good time. Cause that one was a little drawn out more than the rest, you know, Pulp Fiction got some shootouts and some heroin, this one was a little more drawn out, but then once Brad Pitt gets in there, and then he, they light the lady on fire in the pool, it's great.

• 17:10Sam Morril?

  Mike, it's Mikey Madison, right? From menorah. It's a girl from menorah he lit on fire in that.

• 17:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 17:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 17:18Mark Normand?

  I gotta see this.

• 17:19Sam Morril?

  Oh, we gotta get Sean Baker on here. I think he'd come on, right? Si- Simon's our boy, maybe he could hook us up.

• 17:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, Florida Project.

• 17:27Sam Morril?

  Dude, this is an awesome movie.

• 17:29Mark Normand?

  It's kind of uncut gemsy, I hear.

• 17:31Sam Morril?

  Anora?

• 17:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah, like it's fast-paced and tense.

• 17:34Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's, it's, and it's kind of funny like that was too, but then also it's, yeah, it's, it's great. I loved it.

• 17:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, I'm into her. Anora. Not a great name. She's a hooker?

• 17:49Sam Morril?

  Stripper.

• 17:50Mark Normand?

  A stripper, okay. Alright, I'll check it out.

• 17:52Sam Morril?

  Check it out.

• 17:53Mark Normand?

  Thanks for, thanks for going with me on my kiddie porn idea.

• 17:56Sam Morril?

  Hey.

• 17:56Mark Normand?

  I'm not, if we get AI, we're good.

• 17:59Sam Morril?

  I'll follow you anywhere, buddy.

• 18:00Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 18:02Sam Morril?

  Next week, two comedians arrested for kiddie porn. Shit. I shouldn't have followed him there.

• 18:07Mark Normand?

  Follow me anywhere. I'm getting a truck, we're going on New Orleans next year, it's gonna be fun.

• 18:13Speaker 02

  My rec is Beast Games, it's tagging on your.

• 18:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, your kid has got you all up in the beast, master.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  This shit is so good.

• 18:23Mark Normand?

  He is really amazing.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. So Mr. Beast did a Squid Games thing with 1,000 contestants vying for $5 million.

• 18:31Mark Normand?

  Holy shit.

• 18:32Speaker 02

  And it follows the Squid Games, like, theme of like, they're not killing people.

• 18:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 18:37Speaker 02

  Like, you get eliminated over nothing.

• 18:39Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 18:40Speaker 02

  And it is dramatic.

• 18:42Mark Normand?

  What, let me just, let me take a guess at how many views this has.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, I'll go.

• 18:47Mark Normand?

  I'm gonna guess the latest episode of this, uh, Beast Games has

• 18:59Mark Normand?

  58 million.

• 19:01Speaker 02

  So, um, the first episode was on YouTube as a teaser to get you to watch, the rest are on Amazon.

• 19:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  First one, I think, has 151 million.

• 19:09Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  137 million.

• 19:12Mark Normand?

  I was way off.

• 19:13Sam Morril?

  He got kind of trash, though, last time he did this, right?

• 19:15Speaker 02

  That's, this one, over this one.

• 19:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah, because they were like, i- it's just lacking in creativity.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  No, no, this is not. This one's not.

• 19:23Sam Morril?

  But the other one was?

• 19:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, a lot more money and effort.

• 19:25Sam Morril?

  But the other one was.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  Yes. He's getting sued for like, people are suing him for like, emotional damage.

• 19:30Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, you put me through shit that I wasn't really supposed to go through.

• 19:34Sam Morril?

  Like what?

• 19:36Speaker 02

  Like, here's the trailer.

• 19:39Mark Normand?

  We gotta get him on.

• 19:46Sam Morril?

  Four will be dead.

• 19:52Sam Morril?

  Yo, what's up dude?

• 19:54Mark Normand?

  Hey, hey.

• 19:54Sam Morril?

  Thanks for coming through.

• 19:56Mark Normand?

  Hey, hey folks, We Might Be Drunk is brought to you by Chubbies. Stop living in your old tattered clothes, upgrade your wardrobe with Chubbies. No matter what your style is and no matter what you're up to this winter, Chubbies has got something for you. Check out their Everywhere Pants, that'll take you from the couch to the casino, or their comfy polo shirts that are perfect to dress up or down. I love Chubbies, I wear their jacket, jean jacket with the fur lining, I wear their pants every day, you've probably seen videos of me in those pants, they're the best going. Comfortable, they don't look too, too sluggish, that's not a word that I was looking for,

• 20:37Mark Normand?

  but you know what I mean, they don't look horrible, they look great and they're comfortable. And the shirts are killer, the sweaters are great, I wear their bathing suit, I'm all in on Chubbies. So get on it. For workouts, throw on a pair of their Ultimate Training Shorts, they have split side seams and extended liner, so you'll stay cool and comfortable on leg day. Chubbies is here to help you take on 2025 in style, starting with the comfiest, most versatile gear you'll ever wear. For a limited time, our friends at Chubbies are giving listeners 20% off with the promo code DRUNKS at chubbyshirts.com. That's 20% off your order with the promo code DRUNKS. Support the show and tell them we sent you, no matter where the new year takes you, Chubbies

• 21:22Mark Normand?

  has the gear to keep you comfortable and looking your best. Ah, you're good.

• 21:28Sam Morril?

  Hey, how are you, man?

• 21:29Mark Normand?

  We're hungover.

• 21:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I think I met you in Montreal back in the day, yeah. How are you, man?

• 21:34Speaker 02

  What's going on? Hey, Matt, it's me.

• 21:37Mark Normand?

  Matt?

• 21:38Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 21:39Mark Normand?

  Hey, what's up, Mark? Nice to meet you. Hey, hey.

• 21:44Speaker 04

  What's up?

• 21:45Mark Normand?

  Good to see you again.

• 21:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah, sit down, sit down.

• 21:47Mark Normand?

  We got you a coffee if you want one.

• 21:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he said no, but I figured.

• 21:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 21:53Speaker 04

  Were we watching some best plays?

• 21:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:57Sam Morril?

  Watching some Blake Griffin dunks.

• 21:59Mark Normand?

  Some highlights.

• 22:00Sam Morril?

  You know, you...

• 22:01Speaker 04

  Pop this back.

• 22:02Mark Normand?

  Take it off!

• 22:03Sam Morril?

  Off, man. Canadian tux.

• 22:05Mark Normand?

  That's a lot of denim, Jay Leno.

• 22:09Mark Normand?

  By the way, Jay Leno might be the toughest guy on the planet. He got himself caught on fire.

• 22:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 22:14Mark Normand?

  Doing fine, then he fell down a hill, quote unquote. That's what he says.

• 22:20Sam Morril?

  But they, but they looked into it and they, and the story does check out. I know.

• 22:23Mark Normand?

  And he's still going, still ticking.

• 22:25Speaker 04

  What was he doing rolling down a hill?

• 22:27Mark Normand?

  He-

• 22:28Sam Morril?

  Tripped, I think.

• 22:29Mark Normand?

  He was doing a gig in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania and he was walking down a Hampton Inn hill to get to the parking lot and he said-

• 22:38Speaker 04

  A million?

• 22:39Sam Morril?

  Cause I think it was the only hotel in that area.

• 22:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 22:44Speaker 04

  He's gotta be close to a billion.

• 22:46Mark Normand?

  Probably.

• 22:47Sam Morril?

  Well, cause he never touched that Tonight Show money, they said.

• 22:50Mark Normand?

  And just his car collection alone has gotta be worth a lot.

• 22:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:53Sam Morril?

  He and Jerry with the cars.

• 22:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, they love them.

• 22:56Sam Morril?

  I don't give a fuck about cars.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  And he's a pirate, too?

• 22:59Speaker 04

  That's cool.

• 23:00Sam Morril?

  Looks like number two in like the second Austin.

• 23:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:03Speaker 04

  Number three?

• 23:04Mark Normand?

  Number three.

• 23:07Mark Normand?

  Look at that, another TV show host in blackface.

• 23:12Sam Morril?

  He's, this is rough.

• 23:14Mark Normand?

  He doesn't drink, he's had the same wife since high school. I mean, he's like the most straight edge guy. But he has, I think the cars is like, I wanna get laid, but I can't.

• 23:22Sam Morril?

  You just fix shit.

• 23:23Mark Normand?

  So you just fix shit and buy cars. That's my theory.

• 23:25Sam Morril?

  Are you a car guy, Blake?

• 23:27Speaker 04

  I'm not really.

• 23:27Sam Morril?

  Me neither.

• 23:28Speaker 04

  I like, I just, I don't know, yeah. I appreciate people who have like nice cars, but I just like, I don't know, am I gonna just drive an old car? Like, I don't know, it just seems like inconvenient.

• 23:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 23:41Mark Normand?

  It is. I have an old car and it's a bitch.

• 23:43Speaker 04

  What kinda car do you have?

• 23:44Mark Normand?

  I got an old Beamer, a 1973, and it's a cool ass car. It runs great, but it just, in New York, I gotta maintain it, I gotta garage it, it's hell.

• 23:53Speaker 04

  I do have an, I have a 72 Bronco.

• 23:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, those are great.

• 23:59Sam Morril?

  What they look like up, they look really cool.

• 24:01Speaker 04

  Which is, it's really fun to drive, but it's also kinda like, every time I hit the gas pedal, I'm like, this, it's, this is the last drive.

• 24:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly. You can enjoy it.

• 24:11Speaker 04

  Make it, yeah.

• 24:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 24:12Sam Morril?

  Those look awesome.

• 24:13Mark Normand?

  That's a beauty. God damn.

• 24:15Sam Morril?

  I don't know, we're just trashing, now we're just like, that's fucking.

• 24:19Speaker 04

  I don't really like car, old cars, man. God.

• 24:23Mark Normand?

  Can't go wrong with that one. It's funny how OJ happened.

• 24:25Speaker 04

  Oh, look, there's a, wait, how did that work? Oh, that's the, what's going on here? Why is there a picture of me?

• 24:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, was there?

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Plus Bronco.

• 24:32Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 24:33Speaker 04

  Oh, gosh.

• 24:34Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, there you are.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  I was looking for yours.

• 24:36Mark Normand?

  OJ happened, the Bronco went away, and then enough time went by, and we're like, eh, I'll bring the Bronco back.

• 24:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:43Speaker 04

  I moved to Brentwood, and I was like, you know what I need? A white Bronco.

• 24:46Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 24:47Speaker 04

  I got a white Bronco.

• 24:49Mark Normand?

  Fuck it.

• 24:50Sam Morril?

  You play, how long do you play in LA? It was like eight years?

• 24:52Speaker 04

  Nine years in LA. Uh, yeah, two and a half in Detroit.

• 24:58Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 24:59Sam Morril?

  How does that trade feel?

• 25:01Speaker 04

  Um.

• 25:03Sam Morril?

  What was the trade again?

• 25:05Speaker 04

  It was me, eh, for, uh, Avery Bradley, uh, Boban, you know, the seven?

• 25:14Sam Morril?

  I love Boban, yeah, John Wick.

• 25:15Speaker 04

  Uh, and Tobias Harris, and like a pick or two.

• 25:19Sam Morril?

  Damn, though, you're worth more than that, though.

• 25:21Speaker 04

  And I, thanks, man, I appreciate that. I actually needed to hear that.

• 25:25Mark Normand?

  Tobias, these, these players don't like Amish people.

• 25:28Sam Morril?

  No, Tobias Harris is a good player.

• 25:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 25:30Sam Morril?

  But Blake was, I mean, still putting up crazy numbers, man.

• 25:32Speaker 04

  Thanks, man.

• 25:33Sam Morril?

  It was.

• 25:34Speaker 04

  I needed that, too. Thank you. How about the Knicks last night, huh?

• 25:38Mark Normand?

  You're on a.

• 25:38Sam Morril?

  Don't fuck it.

• 25:39Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  I don't know, let's talk about it.

• 25:40Mark Normand?

  You were on a run. You had a good run.

• 25:42Speaker 04

  Just the most miserable fans in all of Spex.

• 25:44Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 25:46Speaker 04

  Always, always upset, always angry.

• 25:48Sam Morril?

  I'm thrilled, dude, upset now. We got Jalen Brunson and Cat. I, I love this. I love Josh Hart.

• 25:54Speaker 04

  I know.

• 25:54Sam Morril?

  This is the coolest team since the 90s.

• 25:57Speaker 04

  No, it'll be one of the best teams to lose in the second round and.

• 25:59Sam Morril?

  Do you really think we're gonna lose in the second round?

• 26:02Speaker 04

  I mean, it depends on your matchup, but yeah.

• 26:04Mark Normand?

  Woo, you heard it here first.

• 26:05Speaker 04

  They're all gonna be dead tired. I'm sorry.

• 26:08Sam Morril?

  Well, you're gonna be on Amazon next year with Dirk. Congrats, by the way.

• 26:12Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 26:13Sam Morril?

  But like, don't be another fucking show that just trashes my Knicks. Barkley and Shaq are such haters, man.

• 26:19Speaker 04

  I'm not gonna, I, my plan is to not trash the Knicks, or, or any team for that matter. You know what I will do? I will go at GMs, I will go at owners, and I will go at coaches to a certain extent.

• 26:31Mark Normand?

  That's fair.

• 26:32Speaker 04

  Because I'm just tired of like, and this is probably like the former players just being like, I'm just like, I was sick of those guys just shitting on us every opportunity.

• 26:40Sam Morril?

  The Clippers.

• 26:41Speaker 04

  Well, no, just players in general. Like, I think that's just what the TNT guys do, and that's probably the best sports show. Maybe of all time.

• 26:48Sam Morril?

  It might be the best show of all. It's insanely.

• 26:50Speaker 04

  It's incredible.

• 26:51Sam Morril?

  But you and Dirk is, is, that is an awesome. Dirk is, I love Dirk.

• 26:55Speaker 04

  I'm excited to hear his like, just like his, we don't hear him like.

• 27:00Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 27:01Speaker 04

  That much, right? Like you don't hear him like, especially since he's retired, you don't hear his like analysis, but his like, his brain, his, his basketball IQ is insanely high. I'm excited to like, hear him give takes.

• 27:15Mark Normand?

  Insights.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 27:17Sam Morril?

  I gotta ask you, cause you said you're not gonna, you're gonna try not to shit on players. Like, what, what do you make of this Shaq versus Dwight Howard beef that just won't die?

• 27:24Speaker 04

  I just like, I don't know. So I had this same thing about when LeBron went to Miami. I was just like, you know, and everybody was just shitting on everything he did, right? And it was just kinda like, it kinda sucks, cause you guys aren't appreciating how good he is. And that was like, truly the height of his career, right? Like he was, he was unbelievable in Miami and people were just shitting on.

• 27:47Sam Morril?

  I was one of the people. I hated him.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  I, I mean, I, I, I guess I get it to a certain extent, but it's also like, separate what he did to like who he is as a player.

• 27:58Sam Morril?

  I get that.

• 27:58Speaker 04

  And just appreciate how good he is.

• 28:00Sam Morril?

  I did, I, see, I think, I felt like I was doing both of those things. I was like, fuck this guy, but also like, oh my God, that's incredible, you know?

• 28:06Speaker 04

  Yeah. Which is like, I don't know. I feel like people lost like three, four years of his career where people were just like, they hated, hated him.

• 28:15Sam Morril?

  That's true. I think that's a good point.

• 28:16Speaker 04

  And it's like, you kinda gotta like, I get that you don't like the guy for like what he did, but like, also like appreciate how good he is.

• 28:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 28:25Speaker 04

  It's, it's like, it's two sides.

• 28:27Mark Normand?

  I still think Bronny's better.

• 28:30Speaker 04

  Dude.

• 28:31Mark Normand?

  Than LeBron.

• 28:32Speaker 04

  Sleeper.

• 28:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 28:33Speaker 04

  Sleep for a while, but. He's gonna get out, he's gonna.

• 28:38Mark Normand?

  He's trying. He's got some hot girlfriends.

• 28:42Mark Normand?

  I don't know if it's been hurt.

• 28:43Speaker 04

  It's never great when that's like the first.

• 28:47Sam Morril?

  Oh man, I want, I wanted to ask you about that FX show. Did you watch it? The one about the Clippers?

• 28:51Speaker 04

  I, so, I was, uh, I became friendly with, with Wayne Gretzky.

• 28:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, nice.

• 28:57Speaker 04

  He, he thinks that show is the best show that came out on TV. And he's like, he's like, you gotta watch it. You gotta watch it. So we're in, we're out at this, uh, this golf tournament. And he's like, hey, just, just come here.

• 29:11Sam Morril?

  Wait, that's supposed to be Doc Rivers, right?

• 29:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, no, no. Oh yeah, that's Doc.

• 29:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 29:15Speaker 04

  Ed O'Neill is, um.

• 29:17Sam Morril?

  Donald Sterling.

• 29:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 29:20Speaker 04

  This is like a real, that was like a real clip. Like that, that, that was actually the one thing that I watched that like actually happened. That, that white party that, that Donald Sterling has.

• 29:30Mark Normand?

  Right. Oh, this looks fun. I haven't even heard of this.

• 29:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, but.

• 29:35Mark Normand?

  Was it bad?

• 29:37Speaker 04

  Well, so like, obviously Ed O'Neill and, um, Laurence Fishburne were great.

• 29:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 29:43Speaker 04

  After that, it, it takes a sharp.

• 29:46Sam Morril?

  Cause you gotta cast basketball. Guys can't play.

• 29:49Speaker 04

  DeAndre Jordan's character is 6'1". He's like, this is almost 7 foot guy.

• 29:55Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 29:56Speaker 04

  You're looking at like a dude who's just clearly, you know, just a, a very average height guy.

• 30:01Mark Normand?

  It looks well, like, like big production, like high quality, but.

• 30:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, I honestly, I, I watched 15 minutes of the first episode with Wayne and I was like, I can't watch.

• 30:10Sam Morril?

  Damn. Wait, Wayne Gretzky made you watch with him?

• 30:12Speaker 04

  Yeah. And by the way, that was his third time watching the show.

• 30:16Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 30:16Speaker 04

  He's like, you gotta watch this.

• 30:19Sam Morril?

  Well, the thing is like, I'm like the target audience for a show like this. And I was like, I don't want to fucking watch this. I listen, I listen to the, I, there was one podcast I listened to. I think you were on it.

• 30:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, Ramona Shelburne did it.

• 30:30Sam Morril?

  That was good.

• 30:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:32Sam Morril?

  But it's like.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  So that's how they sold the show.

• 30:34Sam Morril?

  Of course. Cause no one will buy anything without IP now, but, but that's funny that, uh, like this show didn't need to be made.

• 30:41Speaker 04

  No.

• 30:41Mark Normand?

  Well, Winning Time, I think, did pretty good.

• 30:43Speaker 04

  Winning Time was great.

• 30:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that was good.

• 30:45Sam Morril?

  But the basketball scenes were still like, you know, but the, but the, somehow they cast a guy that looked like Magic and Kareem.

• 30:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:51Mark Normand?

  Like, that's great.

• 30:52Sam Morril?

  Those two guys were amazing.

• 30:54Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, and you see the thing, the behind the scenes for how they shot the basketball?

• 30:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah, they were on skates or something?

• 30:59Speaker 04

  Roller blades. And he was like, he's really, I don't, I thought. Uh, Winning Time, uh. Yeah.

• 31:06Sam Morril?

  That book is awesome, too, that, uh.

• 31:08Speaker 04

  I didn't read it.

• 31:09Sam Morril?

  That Jeff Pearl book is like, it's cra- I mean, any stories about Pat Riley are fucking. There were rumors about you going to the Heat for a while. Were you ever like, did you ever want to go to Miami or no?

• 31:20Speaker 04

  A little, yeah, a little bit.

• 31:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow, look at these unroller blades.

• 31:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:24Mark Normand?

  That's kind of a cool idea.

• 31:26Speaker 04

  So I think that like, I don't know, I think, I think, to be honest, like, I'm a tough critic on, on sports scripted shows.

• 31:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 31:35Speaker 04

  And I, I thought that it was like, it was, it was better than anything I've seen recently.

• 31:39Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 31:40Speaker 04

  Basketball wise.

• 31:41Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:42Mark Normand?

  I feel the same way about stand-up movies. Anytime you watch a movie with stand-up and you're like, ah, that would never happen. No one has lockers in the green room.

• 31:51Speaker 04

  Good set out there, man.

• 31:55Speaker 04

  Why aren't they changing clothes?

• 31:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah, just, it's a hard thing to write. It, it's hard to write comedians.

• 32:02Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:03Sam Morril?

  Cause it just feels like you're forcing them to like rib on each other too much.

• 32:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:07Sam Morril?

  No, we, we also can just hang out.

• 32:09Mark Normand?

  And they're all doing blow and hookers and you're like, ah, we're all crying and sad.

• 32:15Mark Normand?

  Miss Maisel did a pretty good job, but that was about it.

• 32:18Speaker 04

  That was actually pretty good. That was a good show.

• 32:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I mean, a funny woman.

• 32:24Mark Normand?

  What is this, Lord of the Rings? Come on.

• 32:27Mark Normand?

  Just kidding. Nikki did great.

• 32:30Speaker 04

  Was this fantasy?

• 32:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Nikki killed it. I assume you hooked up with her.

• 32:37Speaker 04

  No, no, no.

• 32:39Mark Normand?

  Come on.

• 32:39Speaker 04

  Got a lot of respect for her, though. She's a great gal.

• 32:42Mark Normand?

  Great gal. Very funny.

• 32:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, she's, she's just been on a run.

• 32:46Mark Normand?

  Killing it.

• 32:47Speaker 04

  I mean, she's always been like roast, she's always killed it. And then like the Tom Brady roast like put her.

• 32:52Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 32:53Speaker 04

  And now, you know, like, I, I assume like she's just on the fast track to whatever she wants now.

• 32:59Mark Normand?

  Arenas, I think is, she's gonna be doing arenas. She's gonna be huge, I think.

• 33:03Speaker 04

  I honestly like, I don't see much of her stand-up. But I see all of her like roast.

• 33:09Sam Morril?

  On HBO. They fucking hide everything.

• 33:12Speaker 04

  Or Max or whatever, yeah.

• 33:14Mark Normand?

  She has a ton of stand-up spe- I think she has like six specials or something?

• 33:17Speaker 04

  I just don't see, like, you know, you see like clips of everybody, right?

• 33:21Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 33:22Speaker 04

  I just don't see much of her stand-up, but I see all of her roast stuff.

• 33:25Mark Normand?

  It might be geared towards the ladies more, maybe not hitting your algo, because it's a lot of like, "So then I swallowed the guy's jizz and..."

• 33:33Speaker 04

  Like, "Yeah, yeah, I'm following, yeah."

• 33:35Sam Morril?

  No, I'm looking stuff like that up all the time.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  Your search, your search history is just full of just swallow.

• 33:43Mark Normand?

  Wow, 1.7 billion.

• 33:45Sam Morril?

  It's insane.

• 33:46Speaker 04

  I heard that, um, their budget for the Tom Brady live roast was like 40 million.

• 33:52Sam Morril?

  That makes sense.

• 33:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, they gotta pay all those players.

• 33:56Speaker 04

  But like, those, the people in the roast don't get paid that much.

• 33:58Mark Normand?

  No, that's true.

• 33:59Speaker 04

  Tom got paid a lot, but then they, they blew it out for like, marketing for, you know, I, I assume that doing live stuff on Netflix is insanely expensive.

• 34:08Sam Morril?

  What do you think the budget for the one we just did was, 500?

• 34:10Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 34:11Sam Morril?

  500,000?

• 34:12Mark Normand?

  Easily.

• 34:12Sam Morril?

  That was rough.

• 34:13Mark Normand?

  Bad.

• 34:13Speaker 04

  Was, uh, was that, uh, Jeff Ross's like thing?

• 34:18Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 34:18Sam Morril?

  End of the year thing, yeah.

• 34:20Mark Normand?

  He directed it pretty much. He was high the whole time. It was, it was a mess.

• 34:25Sam Morril?

  But yeah, it's hard to roast people who aren't in the room, so we just focus on like Diddy and Luigi, because we're like, you gotta, you gotta pick people in prison if you're not gonna, if they're not here.

• 34:34Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 34:35Sam Morril?

  What are we gonna do, roast Machine Gun Kelly? We don't give a shit, you know?

• 34:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, punch down. People who can't, who can't say anything back.

• 34:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 34:41Speaker 04

  Diddy and Luigi.

• 34:42Mark Normand?

  It did feel like the Taylor Swift jokes got a little like, "All right," from the audience. Like, "Hey, hey, that's our girl," yeah.

• 34:48Sam Morril?

  We had a bunch written and, uh, we were working them out and they were not working. People were like, "What the fuck?"

• 34:53Speaker 04

  Really?

• 34:54Sam Morril?

  On Taylor Swift. It is hard to segue Diddy to T-Swift, though.

• 34:57Mark Normand?

  That's true, true.

• 34:58Sam Morril?

  In our, in their defense, I was like, "We could've worked on that."

• 35:01Mark Normand?

  Both have screaming girls at their parties.

• 35:03Sam Morril?

  That was one that we cut. What was it? I had another one like, "Yeah, she, she crossed more ba-, she broke more barriers than a girl from Oklahoma trying to get an out-of-state abortion." That didn't make it. They cut a lot of ones.

• 35:14Speaker 04

  Oh, that's pretty.

• 35:15Sam Morril?

  We had a bunch of T-Swift ones that didn't make the cut.

• 35:17Speaker 04

  They cut, how much did they cut?

• 35:19Sam Morril?

  A good amount.

• 35:20Mark Normand?

  Good amount.

• 35:21Speaker 04

  Like, how many minutes did you guys do?

• 35:22Mark Normand?

  We probably did eleven.

• 35:23Sam Morril?

  Eleven, probably like seven or?

• 35:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so not bad.

• 35:26Sam Morril?

  Not bad.

• 35:27Mark Normand?

  Better than most.

• 35:27Sam Morril?

  Do you, do you get tapped to do a lot of comedy stuff? Cause you did like Broad City.

• 35:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:31Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah.

• 35:32Sam Morril?

  You're good in comedy.

• 35:33Speaker 04

  I also, I just love, I love, I love comedy, love it. I will always like, you know, do any, I, I just, I watch, I watch insanely like, uh,

• 35:47Speaker 04

  random comedies.

• 35:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, cool.

• 35:48Sam Morril?

  Well, give, give us some, what do you watch?

• 35:50Speaker 04

  I mean, like, I, I follow like stand-up, like a, a lot. And like my whole algorithm is probably like every, every fourth video is just like a random comedian.

• 36:00Mark Normand?

  Hey, I love it.

• 36:00Speaker 04

  I'll just go down the rabbit hole and, and, and, I don't know, I just, I love it.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  What are the other three things in the algorithm?

• 36:09Speaker 04

  Sports, uh, fantasy football, uh, and huge titties.

• 36:16Mark Normand?

  You go to my explore page, it's just twerking tits and Norm MacDonald.

• 36:19Speaker 04

  Should we just, should we just take a, should we take a gander? Oh, Norm, Norm is just all over my, my for you page.

• 36:25Mark Normand?

  The king, yeah, but you did my show at New York Comedy Club, I don't know, two thousand nineteen? Yeah, and that was, that was fun to watch.

• 36:33Speaker 04

  That was, uh, yeah, I was doing, I was going to Just for Laughs right after that, so I was like trying to work out some stuff for it and, um.

• 36:40Mark Normand?

  Surprisingly great delivery, you had timing and you could tell you worked it out.

• 36:45Speaker 04

  That means a lot.

• 36:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it was good, and, and not to mention, it's a bunch of fat, bearded, dopey guys, and then you show up and it, and it's a comic and it's, uh.

• 36:53Speaker 04

  I think that said, I was like really leaning into like, I under, I get it, it's, I, I understand. It's so weird that I'm here right now.

• 37:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 37:01Speaker 04

  Also, like, the fact that somebody would be like, and, you know, up to the stage, Blake Griffin, and people would clap, I'm like, why are you clapping? Like, I could be horrible.

• 37:09Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 37:10Speaker 04

  It's like going to an NBA game and like, they're like, alright, now starting at center, Kevin Hart.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  You should clap for that. You're like, I got screwed.

• 37:19Mark Normand?

  Patton Oswalt, everybody.

• 37:21Sam Morril?

  Didn't Kevin Hart beat Draymond in a shooting competition?

• 37:23Mark Normand?

  Get out of town.

• 37:24Sam Morril?

  I think we could pull it.

• 37:25Speaker 04

  They did that All-Star, All-Star.

• 37:27Sam Morril?

  Draymond's, I mean.

• 37:28Mark Normand?

  What?

• 37:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Kevin Hart's not bad.

• 37:31Mark Normand?

  That's embarrassing.

• 37:31Sam Morril?

  I mean, look, I don't want to see him in an actual, I did the, the charity game at MSG this year, dude. I gotta give you guys credit. Walking, going up and down the court is fucking, I had like retired NBA players being like, dude, pick it up on defense.

• 37:44Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 37:45Speaker 04

  It's for charity.

• 37:46Sam Morril?

  I know. Tim Thomas was like, dude, get back. And I was like, I'm sorry I didn't play in the fucking.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  Jamal Crawford playing that?

• 37:52Sam Morril?

  Dude, he was on our team. He carried us. He's still incredible.

• 37:56Speaker 04

  He's insane.

• 37:56Sam Morril?

  He's incredible. And he also, I mean, my mom wanted to come, so she's like sitting, you know, she's at courtside. I'm just like playing horribly in front of my mother, which is, but Jamal Crawford's doing like spinning, spinning threes. And she was like, this guy's incredible. I'm like, it's Jamal Crawford.

• 38:11Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 38:12Speaker 04

  I mean, Jamal, we were, I was talking about this with my brother. He has to have the, he, he, his last game of his career scored 51.

• 38:22Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 38:23Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 38:23Speaker 04

  Like he was 39. Well, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. So, yes.

• 38:26Sam Morril?

  But, but.

• 38:27Speaker 04

  For last games of your career.

• 38:29Sam Morril?

  Dude, Jamal, I was such a fan of his and, uh, I mean, you played with him for that whole time, right? That's crazy.

• 38:36Speaker 04

  He's awesome. He's just, he's.

• 38:38Sam Morril?

  He's calling Knicks games and he's doing such a good job. Like, none of us want to see Walt Frazier go, but, you know, cause we love him, but like if, eventually he will, and it's like, we're, we're spoiled with him and Alan Hahn, who are both great.

• 38:50Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, you guys have Walt Frazier and, and, and Breen, like just.

• 38:56Sam Morril?

  The best ever.

• 38:57Speaker 04

  Like, that's like an unreal regional or a, a team specific like broad, like it's insane.

• 39:03Sam Morril?

  It's unreal. I've, I've gotten Mark into basketball in like the last like couple of years and, and I have to like explain Walt Frazier, him, like how cool Walt, like.

• 39:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 39:12Sam Morril?

  Like the outfits.

• 39:13Speaker 04

  Where, where, is that, I don't, I don't, how does he keep coming up with this stuff?

• 39:18Speaker 02

  If it's not embarrassing, can I play some of your highlights for Mark?

• 39:21Speaker 04

  Uh, sure.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 39:26Sam Morril?

  Oh shit.

• 39:28Sam Morril?

  Oh my god. He was a stud Darren.

• 39:31Speaker 04

  Oh dude.

• 39:32Sam Morril?

  He was a.

• 39:33Speaker 04

  You talk about. You talk about.

• 39:39Speaker 04

  Oh, was this blah, wow, couple of, couple of defensive highlights. I don't really get that too often. Wasn't really known for.

• 39:46Mark Normand?

  Oh. Damn.

• 39:51Sam Morril?

  Oh, this is, that's on my Knicks. I remember that.

• 39:54Speaker 04

  Tim O'Fay.

• 39:55Sam Morril?

  I watched that in a bar.

• 39:57Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 39:57Sam Morril?

  And you were like, super young here, right?

• 39:59Speaker 04

  That was my rookie year.

• 40:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 40:00Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 40:02Sam Morril?

  Cause I remember, I remember being like, who the fuck is this guy?

• 40:06Speaker 04

  That game right there is like, the game that I, I always kinda liked to help you like, my life completely changed after that game.

• 40:13Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 40:14Sam Morril?

  How did it change?

• 40:15Speaker 04

  It just went, like, you know, like, you, you play in college, you get drafted, you start playing, you, you know, you think like, alright, like, you know, like, people, the basketball world like, knows who you are. And then that game was just like, it just went like, through the roof.

• 40:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 40:32Speaker 04

  Like, you just like, walking around, like, people would just come up to me talking about that dunk, or like, that game. And it was like, by the way, it kinda goes unnoticed, but like, Amari, I think Amari had like, 47 on me that game. And it was just, I, I could do nothing with him. That was when he was just on a.

• 40:47Sam Morril?

  I loved him, dude. So, I remember that game, cause I remember you had another, like, spinning dunk that game?

• 40:53Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:53Sam Morril?

  And Amari, like, kinda, it cut to Amari at the free throw line, like, like, his way of being like, oh shit, this kid's awesome.

• 41:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:00Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 41:01Speaker 04

  But he was also just, I mean, he, he dunked on me, something vicious.

• 41:05Sam Morril?

  Amari was so good that year.

• 41:06Speaker 04

  Oh dude, he was.

• 41:07Sam Morril?

  I loved him.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  He was, he was.

• 41:09Sam Morril?

  Best Jewish basketball player.

• 41:11Mark Normand?

  Hey, is that right?

• 41:12Sam Morril?

  Oh yeah.

• 41:13Speaker 04

  He converted.

• 41:15Mark Normand?

  There we go, I knew something was up. Thank you.

• 41:19Speaker 04

  Wasn't born into it.

• 41:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 41:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I think our next best is Dolph Schayes from the 50s.

• 41:25Speaker 04

  Omri Caspi?

• 41:27Sam Morril?

  Oh yeah, he's good. Jordan Farmar, Jew?

• 41:30Speaker 04

  Jordan Farmar.

• 41:31Sam Morril?

  Our first team Jew is not as bad as you think it would be.

• 41:34Mark Normand?

  It's like saying Dave Chappelle's the coolest Muslim.

• 41:36Speaker 04

  What I just realized is, you know, Denny Advia?

• 41:39Sam Morril?

  Oh yeah.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  He's, he's from Israel, not Jewish.

• 41:42Mark Normand?

  What?

• 41:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, I just learned, oh, by the way, I should probably preface this with, the person that I heard this from is a complete idiot, so I don't, I don't know if I can trust him.

• 41:52Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 41:54Sam Morril?

  He's under Jewish players.

• 41:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:56Sam Morril?

  Maybe it's, maybe it's a...

• 41:57Mark Normand?

  Maybe he converted out.

• 42:01Mark Normand?

  The Gaza shit, he flew the coop.

• 42:03Speaker 04

  Wait, hold on, Amari Bailey, how is he Jewish? Is he Jewish?

• 42:07Sam Morril?

  We're just adding people at this point.

• 42:09Mark Normand?

  Stoudamire?

• 42:10Speaker 04

  I don't think anybody's gonna notice, just throw him in.

• 42:13Sam Morril?

  Kevin Garnett, wait a second.

• 42:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, you got a lady in there.

• 42:17Speaker 04

  Who is that? Camila?

• 42:20Mark Normand?

  A lady and a Jew? This could be tough.

• 42:23Speaker 04

  That's, that's a, that's a, oh, Blake Peters, a fellow Blake.

• 42:28Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  That's a short list.

• 42:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:33Mark Normand?

  What's that joke in Airplane? Here, I need some light reading. Well, here's a pamphlet on Jewish athletes.

• 42:41Mark Normand?

  You know what was cool for me, watching you back in those days, was I thought you were full white. So I was like, holy shit, we got one! Here we go!

• 42:49Speaker 04

  Nope, a little bit of a facade.

• 42:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it was exciting for a while.

• 42:54Speaker 04

  Sort of a chameleon that way, just kind of blends in.

• 42:56Sam Morril?

  Everyone's claiming you.

• 42:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:58Mark Normand?

  That's kind of cool.

• 42:59Speaker 04

  I always, I, I had a joke in stand-up, it was like, I'm like, uh, like undercover boss, but only for finding out who's racist.

• 43:08Speaker 04

  Like, especially on airplanes, people are like, hey, brother, how you doing?

• 43:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 43:12Speaker 04

  Gets to talking, and they're like, yeah, I mean, you know, it's just fucking, you know, they're taking over. You're like, you're like, oh, he doesn't realize that I'm half-black yet.

• 43:22Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 43:22Sam Morril?

  That's all.

• 43:23Mark Normand?

  Have you had an N-bomb?

• 43:25Speaker 04

  Uh.

• 43:26Mark Normand?

  Where they didn't know?

• 43:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 43:27Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 43:28Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 43:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, geez.

• 43:29Speaker 04

  Well, I don't, yeah, I don't.

• 43:30Mark Normand?

  From a white guy, I mean. Yeah.

• 43:32Speaker 04

  Well, I've had, I've had plenty of N-bombs.

• 43:35Sam Morril?

  Mark used to have a great joke about when someone's racist to you, it's like a weird feeling because you're like, well, this is fucked up, but I can't believe how much he trusts me.

• 43:43Mark Normand?

  Yes, that's true.

• 43:45Speaker 04

  It is, it is nice.

• 43:47Mark Normand?

  It's kind of comforting, but also, ugh.

• 43:50Speaker 04

  You know, when like, when, when a black dude calls you, calls you N-word for the first time, you're like, oh.

• 43:57Mark Normand?

  Great feeling.

• 43:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah, one of my best moments.

• 43:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 44:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, you always remember your first time.

• 44:03Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 44:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:04Mark Normand?

  That is nice.

• 44:05Speaker 04

  It's a big thing.

• 44:05Sam Morril?

  I love that, that, that.

• 44:07Speaker 04

  The whites.

• 44:07Sam Morril?

  The Chappelle Show sketch where he did the, uh, black-white supremacist, you know?

• 44:10Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 44:11Sam Morril?

  And he calls, he calls the kids the N-word and they all high-five.

• 44:14Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 44:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:18Mark Normand?

  That might have been Bill Burr.

• 44:20Speaker 04

  Bill Burr.

• 44:21Mark Normand?

  I think he was in the, in the car, the convertible.

• 44:23Sam Morril?

  Maybe.

• 44:23Speaker 04

  Yes, it was.

• 44:24Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 44:25Speaker 04

  Yes, that's Bill Burr.

• 44:25Sam Morril?

  He was in a ton, he was in the racial draft, too.

• 44:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 44:30Speaker 04

  Yeah. Uh, what's he say? Uh, he's like, so-and-so, white again, and they go like.

• 44:38Speaker 04

  So good.

• 44:39Mark Normand?

  So good.

• 44:40Speaker 04

  Bill Burr was in a, yeah, he was in a decent.

• 44:41Sam Morril?

  Burr with hair.

• 44:42Mark Normand?

  I think that was a Neil Brennan joint, the, uh, Clayton Bigsby, that's.

• 44:46Sam Morril?

  He's your buddy, right?

• 44:47Speaker 04

  Neil, yeah, I, I met Neil, um, fuck, 2000, I think it was 2011, ESPYS, he was writing for, uh, Seth Meyers.

• 44:56Mark Normand?

  Uh-huh.

• 44:57Speaker 04

  And I met him doing a sketch, and then after that, I just, we just, you know, he kind of became my, like, mentor.

• 45:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:05Speaker 04

  Like, he just kind of like, took me under his wing. He was like the one person that was like, you, you got, you gotta start like writing stuff, like, start, just write, write jokes. And so he convinced me to kind of like keep a notes folder of like jokes, and I had nothing to do with it forever. And then I decided to like do some stand-up, which is like an insane idea.

• 45:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:25Speaker 04

  Terrifying. Terrifying.

• 45:27Mark Normand?

  Well, you took it seriously.

• 45:28Speaker 04

  Does it get easier?

• 45:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, it does get easier.

• 45:30Speaker 04

  It gets easier.

• 45:31Mark Normand?

  You still can't ever crack it 100%, but it does get easier.

• 45:33Sam Morril?

  But also, you, but you still bomb. Like, I, I feel bomb all the time, because I'm, I'm trying new shit, which, and you're like, oh, my gosh, still. I did three, the, I did New Joke Night, The Cellar, last night, and I just watched Louis bomb.

• 45:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:46Sam Morril?

  Like, a hard, but we all bombed. I mean, it was like, they were, they were a tough crowd, and we, and if you're doing new shit, you're gonna bomb, but it's like, man, what a privilege to get to watch Louis eat shit.

• 45:55Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 45:55Sam Morril?

  One of the best minds ever, and some of them were hilarious, but they're just, they'll be great in like a week or two.

• 46:00Mark Normand?

  They're not ready yet.

• 46:01Speaker 04

  Yeah. How, uh, like, how often are you guys going up? Like, right, like, this week, how many times will you go up?

• 46:06Mark Normand?

  I did two last night, I got three tonight.

• 46:09Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 46:09Sam Morril?

  I think three last night, two tonight for me. I'm up, I'm up every night this week, but, uh, yeah, I just, I'm, I'm in writing mode, because I'm going hard on tour next month, so.

• 46:18Speaker 04

  Doing a new, yeah.

• 46:20Sam Morril?

  So, I just got, I mean, I'm starting like a 50-city tour, so I gotta, it's gotta be new and good.

• 46:25Speaker 04

  And are you like, are you like, I thought of this on the, the walkover, or the car ride.

• 46:32Mark Normand?

  Sure, yeah.

• 46:32Speaker 04

  I'm just gonna, I'll just, I'll, I'll do it.

• 46:34Mark Normand?

  Definitely. And sometimes that does better than the shit you worked on for six hours.

• 46:38Sam Morril?

  I saw you on Norm's show back in the day.

• 46:40Mark Normand?

  Whaaat?

• 46:41Sam Morril?

  You, it was you and, and DeAndre.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:44Sam Morril?

  Is DeAndre a funny guy?

• 46:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, oh, he's hilarious.

• 46:46Sam Morril?

  He seems like a cool dude.

• 46:48Speaker 04

  DeAndre was like the guy who like, is like, so, he just, it's like effortless for him to like, walk into a room and like, make these people feel like, he's like, connected with them and make a joke, and then walk into like, a completely different demographic of a room, and like, fit in there, and he's, he was like the guy that kinda like, kept us all together, kept things light. He's, he's very, very funny.

• 47:12Sam Morril?

  Is this a clip? Oh, this is a great clip. Yeah.

• 47:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, this went viral.

• 47:16Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 47:16Speaker 05

  Is this a really good question, Norm?

• 47:19Mark Normand?

  You're already into it.

• 47:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:22Speaker 05

  Now, it's a question from, uh, from Blake's good friend, Norm.

• 47:28Speaker 05

  Now Blake, it's fun watching you this year, wasn't it cool? And I was wondering like, there's a kind of a curse with Rookie of the Year, nobody's ever repeated it.

• 47:42Mark Normand?

  That's cute.

• 47:42Speaker 05

  I'll try as hard as I can next year. I don't know, I don't know, thank you for that question.

• 47:48Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 47:49Speaker 04

  He just showed up to, that was my Rookie of the Year like press conference, like when I got the award. He just showed up.

• 47:57Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 47:57Speaker 04

  No one was like, hey, Norm's coming. He just showed up and just sat in the audience and just raised. They're like, does anybody have any questions? And he's just like, boom, first one.

• 48:09Mark Normand?

  Did you see him ahead of time?

• 48:11Speaker 04

  I don't even think I did.

• 48:12Mark Normand?

  Wow, that's crazy.

• 48:14Speaker 04

  Cause I had no, I didn't, I didn't realize, maybe I saw him like from a distance, like before everybody sat down, but yeah.

• 48:22Sam Morril?

  Were you a big Norm guy?

• 48:23Speaker 04

  Huge, I mean, he's like one of my all time favorites.

• 48:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah, same.

• 48:28Speaker 04

  He is, he is. The, I, you know what's crazy? I just heard, you know that moth joke that he told?

• 48:33Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 48:34Speaker 04

  I just heard, was it Colin Quinn?

• 48:36Mark Normand?

  Yes!

• 48:36Speaker 04

  Told him the joke and it was just, it's a very short.

• 48:39Mark Normand?

  It's like 30 seconds.

• 48:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, and he made it into a 10 minute joke.

• 48:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 48:44Speaker 04

  It was eight minutes, whatever.

• 48:45Mark Normand?

  Cause Conan was like, oh, we gotta stretch a little bit, somebody didn't come, a guest didn't show up, so he's like, I got it. And he just pulled that shit like five, six minutes.

• 48:53Speaker 04

  I can't imagine trying to just turn a 30 second joke into eight minutes of, and it was all funny.

• 49:00Mark Normand?

  I know, it's crazy.

• 49:01Speaker 04

  I mean, I guess, yeah, some of it you're just like, what the?

• 49:03Sam Morril?

  What's happening?

• 49:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's a kook.

• 49:06Speaker 04

  Um, speaking of Neil Brennan, he's the one who, remember when he takes, when Clayton Bigsby takes his hood, his hood off?

• 49:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 49:12Speaker 04

  Neil's face is the one that blows up. Do you remember that at the end of the sketch?

• 49:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah, well, can you get to that?

• 49:18Mark Normand?

  I forgot about that.

• 49:32Speaker 04

  I didn't realize.

• 49:35Mark Normand?

  Maybe that wasn't Bill Burr.

• 49:35Sam Morril?

  Imagine going out for that casting part as a white dude.

• 49:38Speaker 04

  Bill Burr is in this.

• 49:39Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 49:40Speaker 04

  He's in this sketch.

• 49:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 49:42Speaker 04

  You wanna see my face? Oh, yeah, right.

• 49:56Sam Morril?

  This was the pilot.

• 49:57Mark Normand?

  There he is, that's right, that was a young, young Brennan.

• 50:00Speaker 06

  There is cookie and punch for us to enjoy and we can mate, talk about white brotherhood.

• 50:08Mark Normand?

  That's incredible.

• 50:09Sam Morril?

  Imagine putting this in the pilot, I mean, this is like ballsy.

• 50:12Mark Normand?

  That was fun.

• 50:13Sam Morril?

  It's a great sketch.

• 50:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I watched this in college with like 18 friends, it was huge.

• 50:17Speaker 04

  Dude, so this came out when I was in high school and it was like one of those shows that like if you didn't, it was, it came out on Wednesday nights, if you didn't watch that.

• 50:26Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 50:27Speaker 04

  Thursday, you were left out of the conversation.

• 50:29Mark Normand?

  Totally.

• 50:30Speaker 04

  Everybody was just repeating and quoting that show.

• 50:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 50:35Sam Morril?

  Oh dude.

• 50:35Mark Normand?

  Ashy Larry, when Wayne Brady said the N-word.

• 50:38Sam Morril?

  Charlie Murphy, dude.

• 50:39Mark Normand?

  Charlie Murphy, yeah.

• 50:40Sam Morril?

  Paul Mooney.

• 50:41Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:42Sam Morril?

  I mean, that was, that was a fun show, man.

• 50:45Speaker 04

  He.

• 50:45Sam Morril?

  We were watching it last time on the tour bus and we're like, all these sketches hold up Player Haters Ball, like, they all hold up.

• 50:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, Prince.

• 50:52Sam Morril?

  Prince, oh my god, that one was incredible.

• 50:54Speaker 04

  Even the ones that they, like, said, like, didn't work out as well, remember when they had the Player Haters Ball where they time traveled?

• 51:00Sam Morril?

  I don't remember.

• 51:00Speaker 04

  And they ended up turning it into like, uh, uh, I think they were doing like sketches that like didn't work out. Even those were just like incredible.

• 51:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it was such a loose show, too, there was one scene where Chappelle, he talks up front and then a girl's tit pops out.

• 51:17Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 51:17Mark Normand?

  And they did a whole thing on that.

• 51:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:19Mark Normand?

  It was like a blooper.

• 51:20Speaker 04

  He's like, "Come on, titty, come on, titty."

• 51:25Sam Morril?

  What are your like all time comedy like if you're if you were on the road as a player and you need like a comfort watch before bed, what were you throwing on?

• 51:33Speaker 04

  Kind of depends like, I mean, I love The Office. I love Arrested Development. I love like, I could just kind of go down. I've always been a huge SNL fan.

• 51:43Speaker 04

  Even like I was like just powering through like the bad years of just like I'd watch every episode and just like hope that like there was.

• 51:52Speaker 04

  I mean, I think I think this season is is as good as it's been and.

• 51:56Mark Normand?

  It's it's cooking right now.

• 51:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 51:58Speaker 02

  Were you ever on the shortlist to host?

• 52:00Speaker 04

  Uh, it's it's really hard for a basketball player because you you basically have to like host the first episode of the year and that's like always like LeBron did, I think, the first episode.

• 52:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 52:12Speaker 04

  And that's, you know.

• 52:13Sam Morril?

  You made for it though, man.

• 52:15Mark Normand?

  I know, right?

• 52:16Speaker 04

  I I love SNL. Love sports comedy.

• 52:19Sam Morril?

  If you listen, we've had we've had SNL people on the list, fucking Blake Griffin, man.

• 52:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, come on, guys. Lorne.

• 52:26Sam Morril?

  Now you could do it, Amazon, right? You got some of them.

• 52:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:30Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 52:30Speaker 04

  Come on, guys.

• 52:32Mark Normand?

  What the hell?

• 52:32Speaker 04

  You got some good ideas.

• 52:34Sam Morril?

  Who besides you, who's a really funny NBA player?

• 52:37Speaker 04

  Um, all right. So there's like, there's tiers, right? There's the guys who aren't trying to be funny that are funny.

• 52:42Sam Morril?

  Like Kawhi?

• 52:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say like everybody's everybody had that run of like, man, Kawhi's hilarious. And it's kind of like, you're like, is he though?

• 52:57Sam Morril?

  Pull up a clip of Kawhi's laughing. I mean, he's like awkward funny, right?

• 53:01Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, yeah, and I honestly don't know him personally really well.

• 53:06Sam Morril?

  I mean, I love I freaking love his game. This is great.

• 53:11Speaker 04

  Have you seen this?

• 53:14Speaker 04

  I'm a fun guy. Obviously, I love the game of basketball.

• 53:21Speaker 04

  I mean, it's just more question you have to ask me in order for me to tell you about myself. I just can't give you a whole spiel.

• 53:31Speaker 04

  What the hell?

• 53:37Sam Morril?

  One of the best, one of the most talented players.

• 53:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 53:40Speaker 04

  Oh, he's insane.

• 53:41Sam Morril?

  I mean, he's insane.

• 53:41Speaker 04

  I mean, I've heard, like, from his teammates, like, he's, he's fun and funny and, like, loose and, but like...

• 53:47Sam Morril?

  But it's awkward.

• 53:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Motto autistics are great.

• 53:53Sam Morril?

  Who, who else is funny?

• 53:54Speaker 04

  Uh, you know who's really funny? Jamal Crawford is hilarious. He's, he speaks in like, he always has like these sayings where he's like, mm, he goes, mm, fam. Did you talk to him at all when you were playing?

• 54:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah, a little bit.

• 54:07Speaker 04

  He probably, he probably didn't give you the whole, but he's like, mm, fam, uh, you know what, you know, there, there's lines on the highway for a reason, so everybody doesn't go, like, and he just says stuff and he's like, how did you come up with that?

• 54:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 54:19Speaker 04

  He just like has all these like, kinda old man sayings, and he always starts like, mm, fam.

• 54:25Mark Normand?

  He's got a catchphrase.

• 54:26Speaker 04

  Dude, he is, he's hilarious. Um...

• 54:29Mark Normand?

  It's hard to beat Barkley as a funny guy.

• 54:31Speaker 04

  Dude, Barkley is...

• 54:32Sam Morril?

  So funny.

• 54:33Speaker 04

  He's just so good. I was, I was, I, I was at a, a golf event and he was there and we would go, like, excuse me, sit at the bar at night and he would like, he just like entertains. And people come up to him and he's so good with, like, he's just like, hey, yeah, but, and he makes people feel special and he goes back to his thing. It's like, it's, it's like a true talent.

• 55:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 55:01Speaker 04

  He goes, it, it's like, it's truly incredible, like, how good he is with people.

• 55:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that show is special.

• 55:07Speaker 04

  Oh, it's insane.

• 55:08Sam Morril?

  I mean, Ernie is like, one of the great hosts at anything, I mean, it's, it, that's another skill too, to make, put everyone at ease, you know?

• 55:14Speaker 04

  Dude, so at this golf thing, TNT was putting it on and I got to be on the desk, like, when Chuck, when Chuck was out playing, like, I kinda filled in for him.

• 55:23Sam Morril?

  And that was with Nate too, right?

• 55:24Speaker 04

  Nate, yeah, yeah, I was playing with Nate and, um... Watching Ernie navigate just like the dull moments and just bring people in and ask a question and throw it to this and read a sponsorship like it was insane.

• 55:39Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 55:40Speaker 04

  He's so good at it. It's like such a special skill that like I don't think people realize how good he is at it.

• 55:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well Shaq is funny, but he wants to be funny. So to me that takes him out of it a little bit. Whereas Barkley seems funny naturally.

• 55:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree. And Shaq is just like just shitting on guys.

• 56:00Sam Morril?

  It's insane. I kind of feel bad for Dwight Howard.

• 56:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:03Sam Morril?

  Really? He's killing his feelings are.

• 56:05Speaker 04

  You're like, leave him alone.

• 56:08Speaker 04

  Dude, he's actually a nice guy.

• 56:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he is.

• 56:12Speaker 04

  He can't, he can't, he ain't, he ain't no like handle to me. That's funny, but also like, God, dude.

• 56:20Sam Morril?

  But it's tough when a dude who like has all the accolades Shaq has is just shitting on people who have so many less.

• 56:26Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 56:27Speaker 04

  Probably the most, I mean, he's the most dominant player of all time.

• 56:30Sam Morril?

  I think so, yeah. I mean, and then Dwight is, was a great player, but.

• 56:34Speaker 04

  Dwight was unbelievable.

• 56:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 56:36Speaker 04

  Dwight used to, the first time I really like got my like bell rung like hard. Dwight Howard like went up and goaltended one of my shots and came down and he used to like, when he would like jump and come down, I don't know if he was doing it on purpose, but he would just, he would just let his elbows just fly. And I took a Dwight Howard elbow like to the temple. And I remember like just kind of like going back and it was the first time I saw like actual stars.

• 57:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:03Speaker 04

  And I was kind of like, whoa, like I was just like completely taken aback. He was so strong. It was like, it made you feel like a little kid.

• 57:14Mark Normand?

  Oh, geez.

• 57:15Speaker 04

  Like where you're just kind of like a little bit helpless.

• 57:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:18Speaker 04

  Just like, he could pick you up and my feet would just be dangling. Like, no, put me down.

• 57:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:23Speaker 04

  He was, it was, it was nuts playing against him and it's like prime.

• 57:28Mark Normand?

  What about the craziest game of the last 10 years? Jimmy Kimmel versus Ted Cruz. You guys see that? You didn't see this?

• 57:36Sam Morril?

  See, this is rough. I mean, both of them are rough, but Kimmel's really gets lit up here. It's unfortunate.

• 57:42Mark Normand?

  He grew up in Brooklyn. He's a, he played ball.

• 57:45Sam Morril?

  Who did?

• 57:45Mark Normand?

  Kimmel.

• 57:46Sam Morril?

  Oh, really?

• 57:47Mark Normand?

  Um, but...

• 57:48Speaker 04

  Ted Cruz?

• 57:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:50Speaker 04

  Mixing it up with the Brooklings?

• 57:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:52Sam Morril?

  Ted Cruz used to rock on West Fourth.

• 57:54Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 57:54Speaker 04

  What was this for?

• 57:56Mark Normand?

  Jimmy Kimmel shit on him on his show, and Ted Cruz is like, "Well, I'm in better shape than you." And he's like, and then they went back and forth, and they're like, "Let's do a game."

• 58:03Speaker 04

  Uh...

• 58:04Mark Normand?

  And Cruz won.

• 58:05Speaker 04

  That's embarrassing.

• 58:06Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 58:07Sam Morril?

  I mean, but this is not good. I mean, look, I played with the Rizler, and even I can say, "This is bad basketball."

• 58:17Speaker 04

  I mean, that was...

• 58:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, man.

• 58:21Speaker 04

  Wheelchair basketball has more, has more action than this.

• 58:26Sam Morril?

  Cruz has got kind of a...

• 58:27Speaker 04

  Also, did they do it in Texas?

• 58:29Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah.

• 58:29Mark Normand?

  Uh, looks like it.

• 58:30Speaker 04

  There's no way Cruz, no way Ted Cruz had that many fans.

• 58:35Sam Morril?

  This is a home game.

• 58:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:36Sam Morril?

  Oh, man, poor Isaiah Thomas has to watch this.

• 58:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, man.

• 58:40Sam Morril?

  What, uh, any, um, good drinking stories with players, like even off Night in the City, and you're like, "We're getting, we're getting lit up"?

• 58:49Speaker 04

  Um, yeah, yeah. Uh, trying to think, okay, what can I say? Come on, PR, come on.

• 58:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 58:56Speaker 04

  Come on, uh...

• 58:58Sam Morril?

  You don't have to name names.

• 58:59Mark Normand?

  No, no.

• 59:01Speaker 04

  Um...

• 59:02Mark Normand?

  Britney Spears.

• 59:02Speaker 04

  God, I'm trying to think. So me, Brittany Griner, and...

• 59:07Sam Morril?

  Crazy Night in Moscow.

• 59:08Speaker 04

  We're on our way to Russia. Things took a turn after that. It was actually my hashish oil.

• 59:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 59:16Speaker 04

  Just took it away in her bag.

• 59:19Speaker 04

  Took the fall.

• 59:20Mark Normand?

  Woo! Can you imagine seeing her in a Russian prison as a woman? That would have just been a sight.

• 59:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can imagine. Uh, yeah, that was, uh, what a time.

• 59:30Mark Normand?

  I know, that was dark.

• 59:32Speaker 04

  Then we traded her for, uh...

• 59:33Sam Morril?

  An arms dealer?

• 59:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 59:35Speaker 04

  The, uh, the merchant of death?

• 59:36Mark Normand?

  That's it.

• 59:38Speaker 04

  Quite possibly one of the coolest nicknames of all time.

• 59:41Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 59:41Speaker 04

  You know, if it wasn't for him, you know?

• 59:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, it's up there.

• 59:45Speaker 04

  Being a...

• 59:46Speaker 02

  Probably okay to play, right? It's on the internet.

• 59:47Speaker 04

  What?

• 59:48Sam Morril?

  Why? Because she's topless, you mean?

• 59:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:50Sam Morril?

  Uh, yeah, if you say so.

• 59:51Mark Normand?

  It's online. It's on YouTube.

• 59:55Mark Normand?

  Wait a minute.

• 59:55Speaker 04

  Actually, really good form.

• 59:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 59:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, boy. Anyone else hard?

• 1:00:03Mark Normand?

  This is strange.

• 1:00:05Speaker 04

  Wait.

• 1:00:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, boy. It's like we're showing Blake JFK footage.

• 1:00:14Mark Normand?

  Back and to the left. Rewind that.

• 1:00:17Speaker 04

  Oh, there's the shooter.

• 1:00:18Mark Normand?

  Isn't she?

• 1:00:22Mark Normand?

  Isn't she dating a guy now?

• 1:00:23Sam Morril?

  No.

• 1:00:24Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:00:24Mark Normand?

  No, okay. I thought she was, she had a relationship with somebody.

• 1:00:27Sam Morril?

  Mark, that's, Mark, I'm not saying I have the best gaydar, but. That is, that is a lesbian right there.

• 1:00:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, got it.

• 1:00:35Sam Morril?

  WNBA is having a moment, though, I feel like. I mean, you know.

• 1:00:37Speaker 04

  I mean, Katelyn Clark is.

• 1:00:39Sam Morril?

  She's awesome, right?

• 1:00:40Speaker 04

  She's unbelievable.

• 1:00:41Sam Morril?

  It's pretty cool.

• 1:00:42Speaker 04

  It's also like, it's, it's just kinda crazy to watch her like come in and it was like the thing that the WNBA has been waiting for.

• 1:00:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:50Speaker 04

  Like, there's great players in the WNBA, but like, she's been like the, like, she is, she's like transcended basketball.

• 1:00:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:59Sam Morril?

  And the.

• 1:00:59Speaker 04

  And then everybody was just like, well, we didn't want it like this.

• 1:01:06Speaker 04

  You know what? We wanted to be in the spotlight, but, uh, hold on.

• 1:01:09Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:01:10Speaker 04

  It was just kinda like, why aren't you guys just like lifting her up?

• 1:01:12Mark Normand?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:01:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:14Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:01:14Mark Normand?

  It's awkward. It's, it's like, I know she's a white lady, but it's like Tiger Woods. It's where you never see a white person in basketball doing this well. Especially a lady. I mean, he's, he's, what is he, Thai? Thai and black?

• 1:01:25Sam Morril?

  Thai and black.

• 1:01:26Speaker 04

  Tiger Woods?

• 1:01:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:27Speaker 04

  Is he Thai?

• 1:01:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:29Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:01:29Sam Morril?

  You didn't see the, the racial draft?

• 1:01:33Mark Normand?

  I think he's Thai.

• 1:01:34Speaker 04

  I've always wanted to say this. Per shizzle.

• 1:01:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, Caitlin, I mean, dude, she is, holy shit.

• 1:01:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:45Sam Morril?

  Do you, when someone's doing that, do you ever reach out? Like, oh, you're killing it or something? Do you ever send a message?

• 1:01:50Speaker 04

  Um, I, I feel like people, uh, it doesn't really hit the same way when you're retired.

• 1:01:56Mark Normand?

  No, come on.

• 1:01:57Speaker 04

  I don't know, I mean.

• 1:01:58Sam Morril?

  You're gonna make the Hall of Fame.

• 1:02:00Speaker 04

  Ah, I hope.

• 1:02:01Sam Morril?

  You're going to.

• 1:02:01Speaker 04

  I'll see.

• 1:02:02Sam Morril?

  I think you're, you're in.

• 1:02:03Mark Normand?

  Rock and roll?

• 1:02:05Sam Morril?

  Right after the Ramones, this guy's. No, I think you're making it, dude.

• 1:02:10Speaker 04

  I don't know, we'll see. It's not one of those things I truly don't like think about it very much. And like if it happens, that's awesome. But if it doesn't, I'm not like, I'm not, you know.

• 1:02:19Sam Morril?

  If you need some guys to look at your speech.

• 1:02:22Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:02:23Sam Morril?

  Throwing a joke.

• 1:02:24Speaker 04

  By the way, if I do, that speech will just be, it will just be riddled with just, just probably the worst jokes you ever heard. But it's just gonna be a, it's gonna be a set.

• 1:02:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:36Sam Morril?

  It was set, man.

• 1:02:36Speaker 04

  It's like, I'm, you know, what, what am I gonna, basketball gave me everything. I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna do that, you know?

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  Michael Jordan's speech?

• 1:02:46Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, he just.

• 1:02:47Speaker 02

  Hear it out.

• 1:02:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:49Sam Morril?

  That's like that Shaq shit where it's like, dude, you reached the mountaintop and you won. Why are you so angry?

• 1:02:54Mark Normand?

  Ever enough.

• 1:02:56Speaker 04

  He's calling out like people, players that people forgot about. He's like, Detlef Shrimp, I remember what you said.

• 1:03:05Speaker 04

  But like, I mean, that's also like, those guys can't turn it off. That's what made him so good.

• 1:03:10Sam Morril?

  Have you met MJ?

• 1:03:11Speaker 04

  Oh yeah.

• 1:03:12Sam Morril?

  And what's that like?

• 1:03:13Speaker 04

  He's awesome. He's just the cool, like, he's just a guy's guy. He's just, he's, I mean, I've been, I was a Jordan athlete for years.

• 1:03:22Speaker 04

  And he's just, he's probably one of the coolest people. That's what like adds to his like GOAT thing.

• 1:03:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:28Speaker 04

  Is he's just awesome.

• 1:03:29Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 1:03:30Speaker 04

  You don't see many clips where you're like, nah, it was corny. You know what I mean? You'll be like, oh god, he really kinda went at those people, you know, like that. But like, you're never like, yeah, I was, he's just awesome.

• 1:03:41Mark Normand?

  I mean, in The Last Dance when he's playing quarters and they're like, hey, you gotta go on. Quarter, like throwing quarters.

• 1:03:47Speaker 04

  Spoken like a true stand-up, you gotta go on.

• 1:03:51Mark Normand?

  That's a good point.

• 1:03:52Speaker 04

  It's like, your set's up in five minutes.

• 1:03:55Sam Morril?

  Michael, they're calling your name.

• 1:03:58Mark Normand?

  But yeah, he was an animal with the gambling.

• 1:04:01Speaker 04

  He is awesome. For years, my Michael Jordan story that I would always tell was the Dennis Rodman story that he told in The Last Dance where he went to Vegas. It was like always my go to, like, you know, what's a Michael Jordan story? And he told that on Last Dance and now I don't have a good story.

• 1:04:22Mark Normand?

  Ah, damn.

• 1:04:24Speaker 04

  It was always like my like, you want to hear something cool?

• 1:04:26Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  I told that story and then he told it. I was like, fuck, well, I got nothing now.

• 1:04:30Sam Morril?

  What was it like, I mean, we see he's got the Kobe pickup. What was it like being in LA at the same time as Kobe and having to, I mean, you guys were the team. It's weird to be the Clippers, but you guys were the team.

• 1:04:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, you'll never take LA away from the Lakers.

• 1:04:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:46Speaker 04

  Or the Lakers or whatever, you guys get it.

• 1:04:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:50Speaker 04

  But like, yeah, there was a good stretch of like, the Lakers kind of being pretty down and like him getting hurt and stuff. But like, dude, Kobe was, it's, in LA, it's, he is just, he's God.

• 1:05:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:04Speaker 04

  He is, he's untouchable. It was like, truly like, like, I don't know how to describe it. Like, the first time I actually met him, I was doing rehab. My, my, my first year I got hurt, I was doing rehab. And the lady who was doing my rehab was his, um, his like PT. And so I'm sitting there in the PT clinic and I remember kind of just like sitting there. I had like heat, you know, you do ice and heat to start. And I'm sitting there and I kind of like look up and like, like the energy in the room shifted. I'm not like a big like, the energy has changed. And I was just like, what's going on? Everybody got a little quiet and I look over and Kobe's like standing at the door.

• 1:05:47Speaker 04

  And I was just like, oh, this is like, this is, this is different.

• 1:05:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:52Speaker 04

  Like, he just like, everywhere he went, it was just like, uh, it was, it was so, I don't know, it's like, it was like seeing God.

• 1:06:01Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:06:01Speaker 04

  You know, it was, it was, it was nuts.

• 1:06:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he was, he was a god. I mean, I do, I would do a theater in LA and I'd be doing great. And then I would do one Kobe joke and they would boo me.

• 1:06:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:11Mark Normand?

  So like, I just couldn't, even with all that momentum.

• 1:06:13Sam Morril?

  In their defense, the joke was about his death.

• 1:06:15Mark Normand?

  Well, that's true. It was about a helicopter, but yeah.

• 1:06:19Mark Normand?

  But I really had him in the palm of my hand and then gone. Can I ask you, oh, sorry.

• 1:06:24Sam Morril?

  No, no, go ahead.

• 1:06:24Mark Normand?

  Can I ask you a weird racial question?

• 1:06:26Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Dude, I've been waiting for this.

• 1:06:28Mark Normand?

  All right, all right. So you're what, half and half?

• 1:06:31Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah.

• 1:06:32Mark Normand?

  Okay, I don't know what the term is, mulatto, but, uh...

• 1:06:35Sam Morril?

  No, you gotta write the first time. I think the second's bad.

• 1:06:38Mark Normand?

  Do you find that in the, uh, the throes of it, do you kind of go, uh... Like, if you're in an interview, do you white it up? And then if you're in the locker room, do you black it up?

• 1:06:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think the term now, what the kids are saying is code switching.

• 1:06:50Mark Normand?

  Yes, that's it.

• 1:06:52Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, I definitely, uh, yeah, like it...

• 1:06:55Mark Normand?

  You gotta adapt.

• 1:06:56Speaker 04

  I'm doing Mello's podcast right after. By the way, if you wanna see a stark contrast, it's gonna be me with, like, glasses on, and I have, like, a tan on, like, "Yeah, Kobe was dope as fuck."

• 1:07:10Speaker 04

  Here, I'm like...

• 1:07:11Mark Normand?

  Dude, it's like seeing Jesus.

• 1:07:14Mark Normand?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:07:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know. You kinda like, you know...

• 1:07:19Mark Normand?

  It's natural.

• 1:07:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know. For me, it's like, it was kinda, kinda natural. Now, there's a term for it, code switching, but...

• 1:07:24Mark Normand?

  Thank God for the term, so I don't have to...

• 1:07:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're still racist, but...

• 1:07:30Sam Morril?

  No, we had Richard Jefferson on here, and I think that was the first time he mentioned the code switching thing. I think you might have asked him the same question.

• 1:07:35Mark Normand?

  Is he mixed?

• 1:07:36Sam Morril?

  No, but...

• 1:07:36Mark Normand?

  No, okay.

• 1:07:37Speaker 04

  He's just black, but he's...

• 1:07:40Mark Normand?

  He's on TV.

• 1:07:40Speaker 04

  Might as well be mixed.

• 1:07:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:42Sam Morril?

  He's a pretty funny guy.

• 1:07:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's great.

• 1:07:44Sam Morril?

  I think he's a cool... That was a great, uh...

• 1:07:46Mark Normand?

  Great, uh, he drank a bottle of scotch.

• 1:07:48Sam Morril?

  Oh, dude, he showed up to the cellar that night, and he left his wallet here, so I was... He was...

• 1:07:53Speaker 04

  Oh, he was missed.

• 1:07:54Sam Morril?

  He bought a bottle of Lagavon, and I was like, "Oh, I guess, I guess we're finishing this bottle."

• 1:07:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:00Speaker 04

  That's pretty awesome.

• 1:08:00Sam Morril?

  That was pretty cool.

• 1:08:01Speaker 04

  You recorded where?

• 1:08:02Sam Morril?

  I was here.

• 1:08:03Speaker 04

  Oh, here?

• 1:08:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:04Speaker 04

  All right.

• 1:08:04Sam Morril?

  He was great, man.

• 1:08:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, I imagine this is probably the earliest episode you've ever recorded.

• 1:08:08Mark Normand?

  I think it is. We mentioned that up...

• 1:08:10Sam Morril?

  But we're happy to get you in, man. What, uh... Yeah, I wanna ask you a couple more things. I know you got a heart out, but, uh... Any, any like, what was your favorite team to be a part of? I'm guessing it's the Clips that, but that team always seemed like there was like a dysfunction to it.

• 1:08:25Speaker 04

  See, that was kind of like the thing that was like in the media.

• 1:08:29Sam Morril?

  Exactly, yeah.

• 1:08:30Speaker 04

  Like, we, I was actually, I was talking to JJ Reddick about this, like, not, not that long ago, like, a month ago. And, and it was like, we were, we were close.

• 1:08:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:39Speaker 04

  Like, we all, we liked each other, we like, enjoyed spending time. It's just like, years of like, losing in the playoffs, like, kind of eats at you. And then like, the spotlight and people just trying to tear you apart, like, it, it takes its toll.

• 1:08:54Sam Morril?

  So you weren't as bad as they made it seem?

• 1:08:55Speaker 04

  No, no. Like, people tried to make it seem like we hated each other, we had bad, like, we, we, it was like one of the, my, like, all-time favorite teams, like, those years.

• 1:09:06Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:06Speaker 04

  We, we had it down, we just never, we never won.

• 1:09:10Sam Morril?

  It was a sick team. I mean, it was like, that's like a, looking back, that's like a pretty crazy starting line.

• 1:09:14Speaker 04

  I mean, CP, JJ, DeAndre Jordan, Jamal Crawford.

• 1:09:19Sam Morril?

  Barnes was a great defender, you know, yeah.

• 1:09:22Speaker 04

  We had, we had unreal, I mean, and there was a stretch too where we had like,

• 1:09:28Speaker 04

  Lamar Odom, Grant Hill, like, we had Chauncey Billups, we had like insane names.

• 1:09:34Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:34Speaker 04

  And it was like, it was a, it was a fun run.

• 1:09:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:38Mark Normand?

  It's gotta be bittersweet to be on a team with great players, because you're like, this is awesome, we're gonna win maybe, but also, I gotta step it up.

• 1:09:46Speaker 04

  I mean, honestly, yeah, but it's, it's, it's great because it raises your,

• 1:09:50Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:09:50Speaker 04

  You know, you have to be great.

• 1:09:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:53Speaker 04

  Because otherwise you feel like you're letting people down.

• 1:09:55Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:09:55Sam Morril?

  I mean, I mean, the Sterling thing, I'm sure you've talked about this to death, but like, I remember that happened during the playoffs. Like, that's when he got, the, the tape was leaked. That's insane that you're in the playoffs. Did you feel like that really brought you guys together, where you were like, alright, we're playing for something?

• 1:10:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. It was like an emotional, it like, just, it was an emotional drain. We, so we were playing, uh, we were playing Golden State. We lose game one at home, win game two, go to Golden State, win game three. So now, you know, it's, it's 2-1. And Friday night, uh, we get a text like, hey, um,

• 1:10:33Speaker 04

  Like, not emergency meeting, but like it was a random meeting. So we go downstairs. And Doc is like, uh, you know, something, uh, we, we got word that someone's coming out tomorrow about Donald Sterling. They got some, something, you know, whatever, you know, business as usual. And we're like, all right, all good. I wake up Saturday morning and I think it came out, you know, at like eight o'clock East Coast time. So I wake up eight o'clock West Coast time. I have like a hundred and seventy-four texts.

• 1:11:00Sam Morril?

  Shit.

• 1:11:01Speaker 04

  And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And Reverend Jesse Jackson had texted me like, you guys got it. You guys, you guys got a, you guys got a boycott. And we're just like, all these people were calling for us to boycott. And we're like, we, we just went the whole season to get to this point. Like, why would we, why would we boycott now?

• 1:11:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:24Speaker 04

  It's not like we're like lining up and being like, all right, Donald Sterling on three. We're just, we're playing for ourselves. We're playing for our families, fans, like, and it like, we went out and we, we lost game four. Went back home, won game five, went back to Golden State, won game six, and then we won like an emotional game seven. And then, uh, who do we play? Oh, Oklahoma City.

• 1:11:47Sam Morril?

  That was like KD, right?

• 1:11:48Speaker 04

  KD's MVP year. Went to Oklahoma City, won game one.

• 1:11:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:54Speaker 04

  Uh, lost game two, and then we ended, we were like up seven with like forty something seconds to play in game five in Oklahoma City. And like, yeah, just complete meltdown. But it was just like, we were like emotionally drained from that. Like, that, that Donald Sterling thing was like insane.

• 1:12:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:14Speaker 04

  I've never heard Staples Center louder than game five when we came back home. Fans were there forty-five minutes before tip off.

• 1:12:23Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 1:12:23Speaker 04

  We ran out of the tunnel. They had blacked out all the logos. Everybody was wearing black, which is kind of funny now.

• 1:12:31Sam Morril?

  Sterling was wearing it on his face, but uh.

• 1:12:34Speaker 04

  Sterling's like, oh, sweet. Okay, we're doing this.

• 1:12:37Sam Morril?

  Who do you think's more racist, Donald Sterling or just your average fan in Boston?

• 1:12:42Speaker 04

  I, I got a, I got a sweet, I got a soft spot for, I love.

• 1:12:45Sam Morril?

  Obviously, I taped my last special there. I love Boston. I just have to throw shade at them. I'm a Knicks fan.

• 1:12:50Speaker 04

  Yeah. It's a, yeah, they're. Yeah, you guys have a great team, by the way.

• 1:12:54Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 1:12:55Sam Morril?

  Can you give me some positivity? I mean, like, I really, do you really think they're a second round exit team? Because I think.

• 1:13:00Speaker 04

  Well, it depends on their matchup.

• 1:13:02Sam Morril?

  I think the only team that is definitively better than us right now in the East is the Celtics. But, but like, you know.

• 1:13:09Speaker 04

  The Orlando Magic with everybody hurt, they're better.

• 1:13:13Sam Morril?

  I'll be honest with you, they scare me because they, they play, that coach is really good.

• 1:13:17Speaker 04

  Oh, he's great.

• 1:13:18Sam Morril?

  And, and dude, Wagner, the Wagner bros, that sucks, Mo is out this season, but like, Franz Wagner is incredible.

• 1:13:25Speaker 04

  He's nasty.

• 1:13:26Sam Morril?

  Uh, he's, Bonchero is incredible. Um, Suggs is incredible, you know? It sucks all these injuries they have, but that's, that team actually is like a playoff nightmare because of how they, we're losing Hartenstein ripped my fucking heart out.

• 1:13:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:39Sam Morril?

  Because of how he played, man. I loved him, losing Dante really hurt. Randall, I've made peace with losing him. I, I was a Randall supporter until the end. We support ours here in New York, but like, Cat is ridiculous.

• 1:13:50Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you guys, you guys have a lot of talent. I just, you know what's gonna happen probably in the playoffs? Like, they're, they're all gonna be dead tired.

• 1:13:59Sam Morril?

  Because of Tibbs?

• 1:14:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're just gonna be tired. And he's a great coach. They're just gonna be fucking tired.

• 1:14:05Sam Morril?

  We just need some depth and then we're, we're okay if we get some depth this time.

• 1:14:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, my buddy last night was like, we, uh, we statistically have the best, uh, we have the highest scoring starting five of all time. And my brother Taylor was like, and how's their bench? And he's like, god awful. It's like, yeah, it's like, sweet.

• 1:14:22Sam Morril?

  But if we get a bench, I think, if we get a couple guys.

• 1:14:25Speaker 04

  So what are you gonna do to get that?

• 1:14:27Sam Morril?

  Trades? We still got.

• 1:14:28Speaker 04

  So who are you gonna trade?

• 1:14:30Sam Morril?

  We'll figure it out. We, we get Mitchell Robinson back, you know? Bring up TJ Warren from the G League. Why, I, I think, do you think he could still play? He's only 31.

• 1:14:39Speaker 04

  I haven't seen him play in, in a couple of years, so I don't, I don't know, but he's talented, yeah.

• 1:14:43Sam Morril?

  He's talented and then we get, you know, I think we bring up Tyler Colick, give him some more minutes. I, I know he's a rookie, but I like.

• 1:14:49Speaker 04

  We're getting real deep right here.

• 1:14:50Sam Morril?

  I know. Healthy, healthy Deuce makes a big difference. That guy, I love Deuce McBride.

• 1:14:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:56Sam Morril?

  I, look, I, the Celtics were only a starting five for a minute too. It took them a second to figure out the bench. I think just give us a minute. We didn't know Peyton Pritchard was gonna be this good. We didn't know.

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  I did.

• 1:15:09Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:15:10Speaker 04

  He's.

• 1:15:10Sam Morril?

  Well, I didn't know.

• 1:15:11Speaker 04

  My first, uh.

• 1:15:12Sam Morril?

  He looks like a Rick and Morty character. I didn't think he'd be torching everybody. Pull up a picture of this guy. He's incredible.

• 1:15:18Speaker 04

  Peyton Pritchard. He, my first like week in Boston after practice, they're like, you wanna play, you wanna play ones? Like, which is one on one at the end of practice, you know, and one on one in the NBA is like, you get two dribbles and like, it's very controlled, you're from a certain spot.

• 1:15:36Speaker 04

  So like Peyton gets the, Peyton gets the ball and like, I'm up on defense and he's just like, and just, I was like, you know what? I'm good. I, I, I don't need this. I don't need, he's so good.

• 1:15:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:49Speaker 04

  This kid like, works so hard, like, just, just the hardest no. Like, he's one of those guys where you watch him play and you're like, oh, he's, he's got like that, that thing.

• 1:15:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:00Sam Morril?

  I didn't know that. Like, I didn't, I didn't see this for him. I, he's surpassed what I thought he was gonna be. He's incredible. Do you think they're gonna win it all again, or do you think OKC?

• 1:16:08Speaker 04

  If they stay healthy, I think they're, they're the, they're the, by far the favorites.

• 1:16:13Mark Normand?

  This is who Sterling wants, hanging out with his.

• 1:16:16Speaker 04

  That's Sterling's dream right there.

• 1:16:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:16:19Speaker 04

  Just Peyton, Peyton Pritchard's starting at all five positions.

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  I've never asked this question of a non-comic on the show. Are you working on any bits?

• 1:16:29Speaker 04

  Um, I'm like always writing stuff down.

• 1:16:32Mark Normand?

  You got anything noodling in the head? Is some of you dying to try out?

• 1:16:36Speaker 04

  Not really. I mean, this is, this is not gonna go well.

• 1:16:38Mark Normand?

  It never does. We do it with each other and it's always awkward.

• 1:16:42Speaker 04

  So I have this like notes folder that I've had since probably 2000.

• 1:16:46Mark Normand?

  This is exciting.

• 1:16:46Speaker 04

  I mean, it's, it goes, it goes on and on and on. And it's just, some of it's like, I've worked it out. Some of it I've worked out and some of it's just like, it might just, like, I, I, you go back and read it and you're like, what the fuck was I thinking?

• 1:16:59Mark Normand?

  Of course.

• 1:16:59Speaker 04

  That was so dumb.

• 1:17:03Mark Normand?

  See, I have one too. Just to make you feel less weird, cause I got the same notes.

• 1:17:07Speaker 04

  Okay, here's a good example of like things that aren't funny, but it was just like a thing in my head, like, and I don't know where I'll ever use it. Like, this isn't for like stand-up, but like, so the, the, what I wrote down was Jamaican man named Joffrey Up and last name Steen.

• 1:17:25Speaker 04

  It's like Joffrey Epstein. No, no, from the islands, Joffrey Epstein.

• 1:17:30Mark Normand?

  That's funny.

• 1:17:31Speaker 04

  So like, I don't know how I'm ever gonna use that.

• 1:17:33Sam Morril?

  I think it's a character in a script.

• 1:17:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:35Sam Morril?

  It's great. You gotta make that guy, yeah.

• 1:17:37Mark Normand?

  That's good.

• 1:17:37Speaker 04

  That's a good example of like, just like shit where if you read this notes folder, you'd be like, that's the stupidest, like, this is all dumb.

• 1:17:44Sam Morril?

  You gotta laugh in this whole room with that.

• 1:17:45Mark Normand?

  That's clever. There's something there.

• 1:17:47Speaker 04

  Joffrey Epstein. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big ups to Joffrey Epstein. Joffrey Epstein.

• 1:17:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like stuff like that. Where it's like, it might not ever, um...

• 1:18:01Mark Normand?

  How about this one? My idea for an abortion clinic name? Don't kid yourself.

• 1:18:07Sam Morril?

  That's pretty good.

• 1:18:08Mark Normand?

  I'll tweet it.

• 1:18:09Sam Morril?

  It's a good tweet.

• 1:18:10Mark Normand?

  That couldn't go in my act, but it's a tweet.

• 1:18:12Speaker 04

  Or like, I have like, what I need to work out is like substitutions and timeouts at regular jobs, not just sports. So it's like, the idea is good, but I don't have any jokes for it.

• 1:18:22Sam Morril?

  That could be, that could be a sketch, I think.

• 1:18:25Speaker 04

  Where it's just like, time, like, this is, and a lot of my stand-up is like, early on, I tried to like shy away from writing sports stuff, because I was like, that's hacky. I don't wanna, I wanna like, write real jokes. And I saw this Seth Rogen interview one time, where, you know, he was doing stand-up when he was like 13.

• 1:18:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:42Speaker 04

  And he talks about how he came offstage one time. He was like, I went out and I did okay. And he's like, this older comedian, established comedian in Canada, was like, how old are you? And he's like, 13. He's like, well, write about 13-year-old shit. And I, I saw that and I was like, you know what? I, I should write sports stuff.

• 1:18:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:59Speaker 04

  You know?

• 1:19:00Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 1:19:01Speaker 04

  It's like the one thing I know and it's more authentic.

• 1:19:02Sam Morril?

  And it's interesting.

• 1:19:03Mark Normand?

  And it sets you apart.

• 1:19:04Speaker 04

  Yeah. So I, I always had, like, so I, I always had this like thought, it's honestly probably in my notes folder way back, but it was like, um, you know, when like, I would like walk down the street and people would be in, in LA, and people would be like, from across the street, be like, go Lakers! And I was just like, how, how insane is that? Like, I, I don't see my UPS guy and be like, go FedEx!

• 1:19:27Speaker 04

  Like, why are you yelling that at me? I don't care who you cheer for.

• 1:19:30Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:19:30Speaker 04

  It'd be insane to think that everybody has to like be a fan of the team that I'm on.

• 1:19:34Mark Normand?

  When I see him, I go Hamas.

• 1:19:38Speaker 04

  Don't we all?

• 1:19:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm sorry. Can we cut?

• 1:19:42Sam Morril?

  I think your sub in could be a sketch thing. I think the idea of like a surgeon, he's having like a bad day. He's killing someone. They're like, get a sub in here.

• 1:19:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:19:51Speaker 04

  That, but also like thinking about calling a timeout in the middle of surgery.

• 1:19:54Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:19:55Speaker 04

  It's like, it's like, oh, phew, phew.

• 1:19:57Sam Morril?

  Get the music going to you.

• 1:19:58Speaker 04

  You sit on, you sit on like a bench and you're just like,

• 1:20:02Speaker 04

  this guy's like flatlining.

• 1:20:04Sam Morril?

  You have to get the TNT music, na, na, na.

• 1:20:08Mark Normand?

  A therapist too. And the guy's like, yeah, then I diddle my third kid. Timeout.

• 1:20:14Sam Morril?

  I had one last night that got something about like, I have this whole like Luigi CEO chunk working and out. One of the things that bugs me is the, uh, the CEO. Everyone was like, he was a father. And I'm like, well, that's sad, but that doesn't make me care more.

• 1:20:27Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:20:27Sam Morril?

  Like if a single person dies, I'm not like, well, luckily he had no. He had nothing.

• 1:20:32Speaker 04

  I'm like, how, how, how do you, I want to hear your take on the Luigi.

• 1:20:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:37Speaker 04

  Cause I'm like, I get it. Insurance companies are, they're, they're awful.

• 1:20:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:43Speaker 04

  But it's also like, I, I, I, I can't be the one that decides who lives and dies.

• 1:20:48Mark Normand?

  Of course.

• 1:20:49Sam Morril?

  But it's crazy. That's our take, I think.

• 1:20:51Speaker 04

  He's just, he's like a vigilante. It's cra- it's, it's like.

• 1:20:53Mark Normand?

  It's bananas. And he's a hot guy, six pack, valedictorian. I mean, there's so many layers.

• 1:20:59Speaker 04

  He's more than hot.

• 1:21:01Speaker 04

  I don't know, there is, there's so many layers to it. I don't know how to feel about it, to be honest.

• 1:21:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:05Speaker 04

  One of those things I can't decide.

• 1:21:07Mark Normand?

  I think those McDonald's, I mean, and everything's wacky about it.

• 1:21:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I think.

• 1:21:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, he, he, he ate in at McDonald's.

• 1:21:15Speaker 04

  He didn't, he didn't go just pick it up and he didn't, he didn't postmate.

• 1:21:18Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:21:19Speaker 04

  He's just like, yeah, I'll have the number four.

• 1:21:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:22Speaker 04

  And I'll be right over here at this booth.

• 1:21:26Speaker 04

  Like, we got him.

• 1:21:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I think it's hard when the people who are like celebrating a murder, but it's tough also because protests don't do shit.

• 1:21:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:21:35Sam Morril?

  It's not gonna change healthcare, you know, so it's.

• 1:21:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, he brought light to a situation that is clearly fucked.

• 1:21:41Sam Morril?

  But nothing's gonna change also.

• 1:21:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, the, by the way, he, the CEO answers to a board and then they're also just gonna appoint a new one.

• 1:21:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:49Sam Morril?

  And we're not gonna know who it is. They're not gonna put him on the website.

• 1:21:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:21:53Sam Morril?

  So the new vigilante is not gonna know who to kill.

• 1:21:55Speaker 02

  And you know about the healthcare system is that they held that meeting after he was killed. He was there for a meeting. The CEO.

• 1:22:02Mark Normand?

  Uh.

• 1:22:04Speaker 02

  They held that.

• 1:22:04Speaker 04

  By the way, what a great point. They're like, well, uh, obviously, what was his name?

• 1:22:10Mark Normand?

  Brian Thompson.

• 1:22:11Speaker 04

  Obviously, Brian's not gonna be here today. But I think we, he would have wanted us to, to go on.

• 1:22:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, keep scamming people.

• 1:22:20Speaker 04

  By the way, that's such a great point. That's all you need to know about that situation.

• 1:22:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:24Speaker 04

  I don't know. I'm like, I'm like, I kinda like struggle with like the thought of it. So I'm just like, I get it.

• 1:22:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:31Sam Morril?

  That's more than most Americans are doing, I think, right now. I think most people are like calling him a hero.

• 1:22:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:36Speaker 04

  Which like, I get it. He brought light to like a fucked up situation, but also it's just like, oof.

• 1:22:42Mark Normand?

  Well, we, we had the Boston bombing kid. Remember? He was like a hot kid. He was a cover of Rolling Stone. No, no, we didn't have him on, but I'm like, we had him in America. He was a big deal. He was like, uh, some people thought he was a hero. But that was way different.

• 1:22:54Sam Morril?

  He's actually gonna be played very soon by Timothy Chalamet. It's his next character.

• 1:22:58Mark Normand?

  There he is.

• 1:22:58Sam Morril?

  He looks like him a little, right?

• 1:22:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I could see it.

• 1:23:00Speaker 04

  He must got the mustache going. He was the cover of Rolling.

• 1:23:03Mark Normand?

  I'm telling you, people were blowing this guy.

• 1:23:05Sam Morril?

  Hitler was on the cover of Time.

• 1:23:07Mark Normand?

  That's, well, that makes sense.

• 1:23:09Sam Morril?

  We, we did, uh, there was another thing on the news where they're like, he's a fucking coward for shooting this guy in the back. And it's like, well, it's shooting him in the front that much, is it that much better?

• 1:23:18Speaker 04

  Hey, excuse me. Turn around, turn around. I have morals. Turn around.

• 1:23:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:23:25Speaker 04

  There it is.

• 1:23:26Sam Morril?

  It's all bad.

• 1:23:27Speaker 04

  Adolf.

• 1:23:28Mark Normand?

  I mean, he was timely. You know, this was a big deal. So I kinda get it.

• 1:23:32Sam Morril?

  Checks out.

• 1:23:33Mark Normand?

  We're weird about our covers. We actually, if you're on the cover, it's like, oh, we love you, but it could be a bad guy.

• 1:23:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:38Speaker 02

  He won Man of Earmark.

• 1:23:41Mark Normand?

  Did he win Sexiest Man for Time?

• 1:23:43Speaker 04

  Well, hold on, what year was it? Let's talk about what else was going on. That's not what, a lot of people don't talk about that.

• 1:23:51Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:23:51Sam Morril?

  I mean, look, Nick Nolte won Sexiest Man. Shit, looking back on stuff.

• 1:23:55Mark Normand?

  Did he really?

• 1:23:56Sam Morril?

  He was sexy back then, though.

• 1:23:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I guess that's true. Not, not that mugshot.

• 1:23:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, let's pull up Nick Nolte, Sexiest.

• 1:24:03Speaker 04

  I mean, I see, I get it.

• 1:24:05Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:24:06Sam Morril?

  He was on the way down, but they got him right at the...

• 1:24:10Mark Normand?

  I guess.

• 1:24:12Speaker 04

  I mean, uh, I feel like now Sexy's Man of the Year, they're just like, they're trying to make a splash.

• 1:24:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:18Speaker 04

  You know what? We're gonna pick the guy who no one's expecting.

• 1:24:21Mark Normand?

  A hundred percent.

• 1:24:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean, that's not a great look.

• 1:24:24Speaker 04

  Oh my god, I thought that was Gary Busey.

• 1:24:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah, similar.

• 1:24:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah, they look alike, they're...

• 1:24:29Mark Normand?

  You never saw this?

• 1:24:31Speaker 04

  I mean, I have seen it, but I kinda forgot that he looked like, wow.

• 1:24:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:35Sam Morril?

  It always blows...

• 1:24:36Speaker 04

  What happened? What was his...

• 1:24:37Mark Normand?

  Drunk night, cocaine, hookers.

• 1:24:41Speaker 04

  Tuesday.

• 1:24:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:43Sam Morril?

  I think he threw hookers in.

• 1:24:44Mark Normand?

  I threw hookers in. I always do.

• 1:24:50Sam Morril?

  We don't wanna keep you, we know you got another pod, man, but thanks for coming by and, uh, great to have you, dude.

• 1:24:55Mark Normand?

  Fun as hell.

• 1:24:56Sam Morril?

  Thank you, man. Appreciate it.

• 1:24:58Mark Normand?

  Thanks for bringing Andrew Tate on, that was exciting.

• 1:25:02Mark Normand?

  I'm sure you hear that seventeen times a day.

• 1:25:06Speaker 04

  What was the, uh, the USA goalie? Tim, Tim Howard, yeah.

• 1:25:10Mark Normand?

  Pull him up?

• 1:25:11Sam Morril?

  Oh shit. I could see that.

• 1:25:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:25:13Speaker 04

  During the World Cup, he was like, "Ti- Tim Howard?"

• 1:25:17Mark Normand?

  You got a thing out?

• 1:25:18Sam Morril?

  I would get Michael Phelps with Down Syndrome. They threw in the second part, always.

• 1:25:21Mark Normand?

  Oh shit, I could see it. I could see it.

• 1:25:25Speaker 04

  A little darker.

• 1:25:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:26Mark Normand?

  I would get Angel Reese, I don't know why.

• 1:25:28Sam Morril?

  I could see it.

• 1:25:30Speaker 04

  Annie.

• 1:25:31Mark Normand?

  What is she, six-three?

• 1:25:33Speaker 04

  She's, she's, I don't know how tall she is, but she is, she's tall.

• 1:25:37Mark Normand?

  Damn, that's crazy.

• 1:25:38Speaker 04

  I saw her one time in person in heels, and it was just like, six-eight.

• 1:25:42Mark Normand?

  Wow. Damn!

• 1:25:45Speaker 02

  So who would win? Angel Reese versus Bronny, one-on-one?

• 1:25:48Mark Normand?

  Ooh, that's a match.

• 1:25:50Sam Morril?

  Bronny's winning that, right?

• 1:25:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:53Speaker 02

  Just 'cause of physicality, or...?

• 1:25:55Mark Normand?

  Biology.

• 1:25:59Speaker 04

  History?

• 1:26:02Mark Normand?

  Reality.

• 1:26:03Speaker 04

  It's just, it's just like...

• 1:26:07Sam Morril?

  Strength?

• 1:26:08Speaker 04

  Well, it kind of blows my mind that we're having these talks.

• 1:26:12Mark Normand?

  Ah, of course.

• 1:26:12Speaker 04

  Because it's just like, I mean, yeah, sure, everybody's like, you know, Bronny sucked. Dude, he, like, if you, he's, yeah, I mean, it'd be, it's tough to guard.

• 1:26:23Sam Morril?

  But is he, is he in the NBA without LeBron?

• 1:26:27Mark Normand?

  That is the question.

• 1:26:28Speaker 04

  Uh, thanks for having me, Gary.

• 1:26:34Sam Morril?

  Like, Jake Busey's the fine actor, is he in movies without Gary?

• 1:26:38Speaker 04

  Could he get there? Yeah. I think, like, being one and done in college, I mean, it probably would have served him better to, like, you know, but like, if you can get drafted, go get drafted.

• 1:26:48Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:26:49Speaker 04

  I have zero issues with him getting drafted at the 56th pick.

• 1:26:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:54Speaker 04

  I have, uh, zero issues with the, at the Lakers being like, oh, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna do this. The, the, the thing that they, kind of, I think that they probably messed up on is like, don't give him 8 million guaranteed.

• 1:27:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:06Speaker 04

  Like, give him what is normal for that big. And then, and, yeah.

• 1:27:10Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:27:11Speaker 04

  Oh, he made 10 times that in NIL.

• 1:27:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:14Speaker 04

  So, like.

• 1:27:14Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:27:15Speaker 04

  I mean, maybe not 10 times, but he was making, he's, he's made his own money.

• 1:27:18Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:27:19Speaker 04

  Right? And he also doesn't ever have to worry about money.

• 1:27:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:21Speaker 04

  So it's like, just give him the normal thing and you'll get everybody off his back. Let him just like,

• 1:27:27Mark Normand?

  Earn it.

• 1:27:27Speaker 04

  Have him play the G League and like, I don't know.

• 1:27:29Sam Morril?

  Was he flying private for the G League games?

• 1:27:32Speaker 04

  I don't, I have no idea.

• 1:27:33Sam Morril?

  If that's true, that's crazy. I heard, I don't know if that's confirmed, but.

• 1:27:36Speaker 04

  Well, by the way, he was, I mean, he only played a certain amount of road games, so, no, I, I honestly, he probably wasn't.

• 1:27:43Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:27:44Speaker 04

  Like, I don't know, like.

• 1:27:45Sam Morril?

  Wouldn't you want to be with the guys? I don't, I just think it's weird.

• 1:27:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, I agree with that. But it's like, can you imagine being like, just like standing there waiting to board and you're like,

• 1:27:55Speaker 04

  Is that fucking Bronny James?

• 1:27:59Mark Normand?

  That'd be crazy.

• 1:27:59Speaker 04

  Bronny James, right? Yeah, what, what, I don't know, I mean.

• 1:28:02Mark Normand?

  So basically, he's the Hunter Biden of NBA. Powerful dad, lot of money.

• 1:28:08Speaker 04

  Did a few things illegal.

• 1:28:12Mark Normand?

  He'll get pardoned.

• 1:28:12Speaker 04

  Got pardoned, yeah.

• 1:28:15Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:28:16Mark Normand?

  Alright, well hey, thanks for coming on.

• 1:28:18Speaker 04

  Thanks for having me, guys.

• 1:28:19Sam Morril?

  See you, man.

• 1:28:20Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:28:20Mark Normand?

  Thank you. I can't wait to hear the code switching on the next, uh...

• 1:28:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah, so I was with these white boys.

• 1:28:28Speaker 04

  And they're talking about the Knicks. Can you believe that? I'm just doing like a death.

• 1:28:34Mark Normand?

  So there's black people and there's, alright. Blake Griffin, everybody. Thank you so much. That was great.

• 1:28:40Speaker 04

  Guys, thanks for having me.

• 1:28:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah, starting the bus tour, folks. Charlotte, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Philly, DC, Bethlehem, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Austin, Dallas, Houston, NOLA, Memphis, Knoxville, Nashville, Birmingham, Atlanta. We're going hard. It's all February. Durham, New Haven, Providence, Portsmouth, New Hampshire. I'm gonna sell it to there. I can't wait. Portland, Burlington, Montreal, Toronto, Buffalo, Albany, Columbus, Royal Oak, Grand Rapids, Milwaukee. This could go on forever. You guys get it. I'm coming to the west coast too. I'm coming all over. So if you didn't hear your city there, it is probably there, or it's coming in the fall. Punchup.live/samorell/tickets, or just samorell.com/shows. Mark, where you gonna be, man?

• 1:29:25Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:29:26Sam Morril?

  That's true, shit.

• 1:29:26Mark Normand?

  I'm knee-deep in baby shit. I'm crying. I haven't slept, but just got a couple biggies to bring up, and then I'll leave you guys alone. Doing casinos, because they're a big money grab. You get in, you get out. So I'll see you in Reno and Atlantis. Then the big one in Nashville, Ryman Auditorium.

• 1:29:45Sam Morril?

  As good as it gets.

• 1:29:46Mark Normand?

  Can't beat that. Very exciting. We're moving some tickets. And then the Thomas Wolfe Auditorium in Asheville. Gotta make up the date because of Helene, that cunt.

• 1:29:56Sam Morril?

  Is that Tom Wolfe the writer?

• 1:29:58Mark Normand?

  I assume.

• 1:29:59Sam Morril?

  That's pretty cool. Asheville.

• 1:30:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah, cool city.

• 1:30:02Sam Morril?

  Dude, uh...

• 1:30:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah, very cool. Well, thanks to Blake Griffin. That was a great episode. He's awesome.

• 1:30:09Mark Normand?

  You know the drill.

• 1:30:11Sam Morril?

  Dude, I think we just got in San Antonio. We're moving. We're moving everywhere. Uh, new merch coming too. We're changing up the merch a little bit.

• 1:30:19Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 1:30:20Sam Morril?

  It's a lot of cool stuff coming with Bodega Cat.

• 1:30:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:24Sam Morril?

  Bodega Cat Whiskey.com. Order a bottle, but also like, dude, we're gonna have a big year. A lot of cool shit cooking. Mark and I got cool shit cooking.

• 1:30:32Mark Normand?

  We tweaked the movie a little bit. We did a little rewrite, so things are happening. Wheels are in motion.

• 1:30:37Sam Morril?

  Wheels are in motion, baby. We're moving.