Ep 210: Fortune Feimster & Josh Wolf

A Chelsea Lately reunion with Josh Wolf and Fortune Feimster coming together again. We talk about sports, comedy and so much more. Check out Fortune's new special on Netflix and Josh's new special on YouTube! Josh Wolf YouTube Special: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGVUxQCEC_c Support the show and get a one-dollar-per-month trial period of Shopify at https://www.shopify.com/drunk Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD WMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ WMBD Clips Page: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Josh Wolf: https://www.comedianjoshwolf.com/ Fortune Feimster: https://www.fortunefeimster.com/ Sam Morril: YouTube Channel: @sammorril Instagram: https://instagram.com/sammorril/?hl=en Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: YouTube Channel: @marknormand Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand/?hl=en Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets We Might Be Drunk is produced by Gotham Production Studios https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ @GothamProductionStudios Producer Matt Peters: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters/?hl=en #wemightbedrunk #marknormand #sammorril #podcast #drunkpodcast #comedy #comedian #funny #gothampodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, we are rolling. Alright, hey, we might be drunk. Sam's making a drink.

• 0:09Sam Morril?

  Should we do Paper Planes, maybe?

• 0:10Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, sure. I didn't want to put you to work here.

• 0:12Sam Morril?

  Can we get a...

• 0:13Mark Normand?

  And hand me that seltzer. Were you there, Matty?

• 0:16Speaker 02

  What's in here?

• 0:17Mark Normand?

  That's yours. Just a seltzer. Don't work.

• 0:20Speaker 02

  Oh, perfect, okay.

• 0:21Mark Normand?

  I'll take that one there.

• 0:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we're literally, we're here with Josh Wolfe. We're literally just talking drug stories with you.

• 0:27Mark Normand?

  Hell yeah!

• 0:27Sam Morril?

  I did not know you were a drug guy.

• 0:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, a big, way, like, I stopped drinking years ago, but I, I've been taking drugs for 30 years.

• 0:38Mark Normand?

  Hell yeah!

• 0:39Speaker 02

  And not a little bit of drugs. Like, I like, and I, not like coke and stuff like that, I don't like that, but I like drugs that change your brain.

• 0:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah, same.

• 0:48Speaker 02

  Mushrooms, I like ecstasy, I like acid. I did, I did jump on that ketamine train for a little while.

• 0:55Mark Normand?

  Choo choo!

• 0:56Sam Morril?

  Isn't that the bad shit?

• 0:57Mark Normand?

  Special K!

• 0:58Speaker 02

  It's not, I hated it.

• 1:01Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:01Speaker 02

  I didn't like it at all.

• 1:02Mark Normand?

  Is it an upper? Or is that a tranquilizer?

• 1:04Speaker 02

  It's like a, yeah, it's like a tranquilizer. It's a dissociative, and I don't, I don't, I like mushrooms, because I like seeing things, or I like my brain thinking about things that it wouldn't normally.

• 1:15Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  So, I was...

• 1:17Sam Morril?

  So you're like, you're doing drugs to kind of like, go somewhere interesting. You're not trying to just disconnect from society.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  I would take three grams before my Friday night shows.

• 1:25Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 1:26Speaker 02

  And I would just, I have a lot of them recorded and on YouTube, and they're just, at some point, there was a one show where I really was, I kept talking to somebody over my shoulder, and finally, somebody in the audience was like, "Who are you talking to?"

• 1:41Mark Normand?

  Ohhh!

• 1:43Speaker 02

  And I thought, because I tour with my son, I thought he was up there with me.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  He was not.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  He was not...

• 1:52Sam Morril?

  By the way, there's a lot of people in cities doing that right now. Most of them aren't charging to cover.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57Sam Morril?

  Not great, not great to be in that situation.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  This whole city, man, it's hard, sometimes I don't know if it's homeless people or somebody live streaming.

• 2:06Mark Normand?

  That's true, it's a fine line.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  This whole city walking around, I can't, this is the, I don't come here enough, it always reminds me, there, it's like a, such a mix between homeless and high fashion.

• 2:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and they're not that far off.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  Somebody's using a scarf to look good and somebody's using it to wipe their ass.

• 2:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's a good point.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  It's not that different when they're walking down the street.

• 2:30Mark Normand?

  There's a fine line between a hobo and dirty Elmo. And they're pretty much the same thing.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  If you didn't know who Leonardo DiCaprio was, when he showed up in public, you'd be like, is that dude homeless?

• 2:41Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 2:42Speaker 02

  Skinny fat with the belly, you know?

• 2:44Mark Normand?

  Loose clothing.

• 2:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:46Sam Morril?

  Well, the scarf looks good and then you're like, fuck, auto erotic asphyxiation.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:50Sam Morril?

  Not good.

• 2:51Speaker 02

  I've never been into that kinda shit. Is that, either one of you guys?

• 2:55Mark Normand?

  No.

• 2:55Sam Morril?

  No.

• 2:56Mark Normand?

  Don't eat potatoes. Just give me a hand job.

• 2:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:59Sam Morril?

  The choking is crazy.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  I'm with you.

• 3:01Sam Morril?

  David Carradine going out like that, being the Kung Fu guy and going out like that is kinda rough.

• 3:07Speaker 02

  Although feels kind of appropriate. I mean, to get choked out to death.

• 3:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  And being the Kung Fu guy.

• 3:17Mark Normand?

  I guess.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Feels like it should be.

• 3:19Sam Morril?

  Just a, it's a sad, it's, but it's on your own.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  It's a tough legacy.

• 3:23Sam Morril?

  It's a tough legacy because it's like, you were jacking off? That just sucks.

• 3:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true. Not even a hooker? Nothing?

• 3:31Speaker 02

  I, I, I'm not into, I don't think, any weird sex stuff. I don't mind looking at it. But I've never been a guy, like, I think the furthest my weird is, is a finger in the ass.

• 3:44Mark Normand?

  Alright, that's not, that's not crazy.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  Right? Although I did have a friend of mine tell me, he lived in Germany for a while. And he was like, he's like, Germany's crazy, dude, because first dates, these women are putting their fingers in my ass. I'm like, first date?

• 3:58Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 3:59Speaker 02

  Like, the first time we're messing around.

• 4:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  He goes, every woman in Germany, that first time we're messing around, their finger goes right in my ass. I'm like, first?

• 4:06Sam Morril?

  Make sure they wash their hands before dinner.

• 4:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. Out of the box?

• 4:10Mark Normand?

  Germany, Germany's weird. At least it's one finger, not nine.

• 4:13Sam Morril?

  You're the best.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  Hey!

• 4:15Mark Normand?

  But, yeah, but wow, that's, uh, the Germans are fucked.

• 4:19Speaker 02

  I think first date finger in the ass is feels like one step farther than I'd go.

• 4:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  I need to see, I need to know you well enough to actually have looked at your fingers.

• 4:30Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  How are your nails? What's the cleanliness?

• 4:35Mark Normand?

  And what if you propose? You slide a ring on that dirty, that dirty index?

• 4:39Sam Morril?

  By the way, I said finger in the ass means nothing before, but I'm like, I have told black friends of mine that are like, you're gay, dude.

• 4:45Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 4:46Sam Morril?

  You ever tell Wills Sylvance? They're like, what?

• 4:49Mark Normand?

  Well, as soon as Vince sees me eating an apple, he's like, oh, that's fucking gay.

• 4:51Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 4:52Mark Normand?

  So.

• 4:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, there are some people who are like, if you eat a hot dog, it's gay. I mean, if you, if you stick it in your asshole.

• 4:58Mark Normand?

  All right, all right.

• 4:59Speaker 02

  Like, eating a hot dog.

• 5:01Sam Morril?

  That's a big asshole.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Maybe eye contact.

• 5:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  It's like eye contact with a straw. I don't love, I think that's something I could probably.

• 5:10Mark Normand?

  How about you try to be sexy and you can't find the straw?

• 5:13Speaker 02

  And you're doing that?

• 5:16Mark Normand?

  Doing that whole thing?

• 5:17Speaker 02

  I'm, I've never tried to be sexy with a straw, though.

• 5:19Mark Normand?

  I haven't either. I haven't tried to be sexy, period.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, trying to be sexy doesn't feel like your move.

• 5:25Mark Normand?

  Nooo. What are you kidding? No way. This voice already, the whole thing. Me dirty talking.

• 5:31Speaker 02

  I would love to hear, your dirty talk must be terrible, dude.

• 5:35Mark Normand?

  It's terrible.

• 5:36Sam Morril?

  You're a whore.

• 5:38Mark Normand?

  And my wife likes it, too. And I'm like, ah, don't make me do this. She's like, be mean to me. And I'm like, ah, you retard.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  That's your dirty talk?

• 5:46Mark Normand?

  I don't want, well, that's, I don't want to be called a retard, I guess. So I thought that, yeah, you fucking idiot.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's not dirty talk, dude. That's just, your dog looks like Paulie from Rocky.

• 6:00Sam Morril?

  Finish the drink, champ.

• 6:02Mark Normand?

  I want you to eat a streetlight in shit red, green, and yellow.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'll do like the sweater, though. That's a good touch.

• 6:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, I did the coach. Yeah, that's a different guy.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  What are you guys making?

• 6:12Sam Morril?

  Well, this is a little paper plane. This is something we, we've been doing this on the pod for, I want to say years now, right?

• 6:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah, oh, yeah.

• 6:18Sam Morril?

  This is kind of our go-to cocktails. It's pretty simple. It's little bodega cat whiskey, Aperol, Amaro Nino, and lemon juice. Fucking good.

• 6:27Mark Normand?

  We like to think we put it on the map. This, this thing was slept on, this cocktail.

• 6:31Sam Morril?

  I like the old school cocktails that no one really, like, you know, obviously the classics are classics for a reason. I love a Manhattan. I love a.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  Did you bartend at any point in time?

• 6:38Sam Morril?

  I did catering for like a minute, but I was, I was a shit bartender.

• 6:41Mark Normand?

  I didn't know that.

• 6:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I was a shit bartender.

• 6:42Mark Normand?

  What? Sam with a job? Can't believe it. I had no idea you ever worked.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Did you ever have a day job?

• 6:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, you kidding? Yeah, I, I moved furniture. I was a busboy. I worked on a gopher as a, on a construction site. I did data entry. I did temping.

• 6:57Sam Morril?

  I worked as a hamster for Richard Gere. I don't know.

• 7:02Mark Normand?

  I was a janitor, yeah. P. Diddy, I did cleanup.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  Did you? By the way, man, that, people have been outing everybody who's ever been at a P. Diddy party. And I, let me just say, if in 2017, P. Diddy had been like, do you want to come to a party? I'd have been like, yeah.

• 7:19Mark Normand?

  Of course. Same.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:21Mark Normand?

  Or Epstein's plane, by the way.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:24Mark Normand?

  I'd go on a private jet to an island. Hell, yeah.

• 7:26Sam Morril?

  They're trying to sell Diddy's place, and it's like, over 60, they're asking him, like, that's pretty steep. But what we know happened in there.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  Although, for some people, probably are like, deal.

• 7:36Sam Morril?

  Maybe.

• 7:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, maybe.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  For a gro-.

• 7:38Sam Morril?

  You gotta do a whole gut reno, though, for that shit.

• 7:41Speaker 02

  You gotta blacklight it.

• 7:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Do you get the oil? Maybe they leave the oil in.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Ah, that thing with the oil.

• 7:47Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 7:48Sam Morril?

  Cheers.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  Cheers.

• 7:50Mark Normand?

  Mazel.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  I, if I walked into a party, and the first thing they handed me was baby oil, I'd been like, this is probably not my party.

• 7:58Mark Normand?

  Or is it?

• 7:59Speaker 02

  No, it's definitely not. Everybody gets their own baby oil. That's a lot of lube.

• 8:05Mark Normand?

  It's a party favor. Well, here's my thing with the Diddy shit. I got the hall, the hallway fistfight with the girl. We got that on video. Everything else is hearsay, speculation, J. Lo, and Leonardo, and Bieber. I'm like, give me something concrete.

• 8:20Speaker 02

  Well, you did hear that Ashton Kutcher came out, like, last week or the week before?

• 8:24Mark Normand?

  No, I didn't hear this.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  This is maybe the worst thing. He came out and said-

• 8:29Sam Morril?

  This guy's on a cold streak, by the way.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 8:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 8:31Sam Morril?

  He just wrote, he just wrote the Danny Masterson judge a letter?

• 8:34Speaker 02

  This is getting him colder. He comes out and says, hey, Diddy might spread rumors about me, and they're not true. I'm like, dude, this is-

• 8:42Mark Normand?

  Shouldn't have said that.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  That means guilty.

• 8:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he got ahead of it.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  That's like you're going home to your girlfriend, being like, somebody might call you and say they gave me a blowjob.

• 8:50Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  Never happened.

• 8:52Sam Morril?

  Sounds like he's getting punked in the end, though.

• 8:53Speaker 02

  This is, this is not-

• 8:56Sam Morril?

  That's, that's the worst, the longest punk, uh-

• 8:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 9:00Sam Morril?

  He's like, I made you look stupid on camera. He's like, oh, yeah, well, I outed you as a possible rapist.

• 9:05Mark Normand?

  Oh, they separated over this. Oh, that's horrible.

• 9:08Sam Morril?

  How much can you sit through? I mean, that's

• 9:09Speaker 02

  For her, you mean? How much can you sit through?

• 9:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 9:11Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 9:12Sam Morril?

  That's a, there's a breaking point. Cause I'm sure, I'm sure that Danny Masterson note wasn't her idea.

• 9:18Mark Normand?

  Ah, good point.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  It is a, that's a bad look to know a guy's going away for rape. Have him reach out to you and go, will you give me a character reference? And you're like, yeah.

• 9:31Mark Normand?

  That's a friend.

• 9:32Speaker 02

  That is a dumb friend. Who you have something on. That's, that's

• 9:37Sam Morril?

  And it's also not, it's not gonna help.

• 9:39Mark Normand?

  It's like, it's like voting for Trump in New York. New York's gonna go blue.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:42Mark Normand?

  You know, but like, that doesn't help. It's, he's still going to jail.

• 9:45Sam Morril?

  Yeah. It's like, like the judge is gonna be like, nah, you raped these women, but Ashton Kutcher is a fan.

• 9:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  I agree with you. How much do character references help with certain crimes?

• 9:57Sam Morril?

  I think it's narcissism. I think it's like, I'm famous, this will help.

• 10:01Mark Normand?

  That's good.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  I think we found out recently, it hurts.

• 10:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  The famous part, I think we found

• 10:08Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 10:09Sam Morril?

  Like a celebrity endorsement ain't what it used to be.

• 10:11Mark Normand?

  No.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  At all what it used to be. No, as a matter of fact, it's almost a negative now.

• 10:17Sam Morril?

  Still works with companies though. Like it seems like if someone, like if you see a commercial, you're like, oh shit.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  Works with Japan.

• 10:22Mark Normand?

  George Clooney's Nespresso.

• 10:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  Japan commercials, they still work. Like if Brad Pitt tries to sell something in Japan, I think that probably still

• 10:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay. Interesting. Japan's 30 years behind. They still like baseball.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  I'm a huge baseball fan.

• 10:36Mark Normand?

  I'm just joking. Well, the, the Yankee, the World Series over there was, they watched it a million times more than we did.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  I heard that it was viewed more in Japan than it was over here.

• 10:46Mark Normand?

  Way more.

• 10:48Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 10:49Mark Normand?

  They got Otani.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, but there's only seven people in Japan. There's maybe more than seven.

• 10:54Sam Morril?

  After World War II.

• 10:57Mark Normand?

  15.2.

• 10:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  That is a crazy amount.

• 11:01Mark Normand?

  And how many watched it here? Oh, I think it said 14. So actually, that's not a giant jump.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  Consider how many people live here.

• 11:09Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  300 million people here and there's probably only 55 million there.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  And then I wonder how many of the people here were Japanese.

• 11:16Mark Normand?

  Ah, another good point.

• 11:18Sam Morril?

  I still like baseball too, though. I'm with you.

• 11:20Mark Normand?

  How many Japanese?

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Here's what I like about baseball. To me, it's my favorite sport to see live. I don't love it on TV, but you go out to the park.

• 11:28Mark Normand?

  Same. It's great. Get a beer, a hot dog.

• 11:31Speaker 02

  You don't have to watch the whole game.

• 11:32Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Even if you can fuck around with your friends.

• 11:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  I hate football live. It's not a fun sport.

• 11:39Sam Morril?

  Not a good experience.

• 11:40Mark Normand?

  Really? You don't think?

• 11:41Sam Morril?

  Well, especially in New York, just getting there is a pain in the ass.

• 11:43Mark Normand?

  True.

• 11:44Sam Morril?

  Like the bus or the train.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  It's never good weather.

• 11:46Mark Normand?

  The stadium sucks.

• 11:48Speaker 02

  And like, there are some things, like, I like the close-up aspect of the football.

• 11:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  Slow motion. But there's not, are there any good seats at a football stadium?

• 11:58Mark Normand?

  Nah.

• 11:58Sam Morril?

  I like, I like hockey, basketball, and baseball live.

• 12:01Mark Normand?

  Good energy.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  Hockey's the best.

• 12:02Sam Morril?

  Hockey's incredible live. It's the biggest jump in improvement.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Not even close, because on TV, you can't see how fast they move, and you can't appreciate how fucking big those guys are.

• 12:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  Those are huge dudes.

• 12:16Mark Normand?

  With the skates on, too.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. And the hard-ons. Mostly me, but, but, but like, they're, the, the speed and the size, like, on TV, you're like, okay.

• 12:27Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 12:28Speaker 02

  But when you see them hit each other, you're like, oh, I would be dead right now.

• 12:31Mark Normand?

  I saw UFC live, and I didn't love that, because we had good seats. It was me and Theo. We went to some fight. He knew Poirier. They're like old friends or something. So I was like, you kind of see their feet and their thighs moving, but you can't really get a good grasp. You're behind that cage. I didn't love it. I'd rather watch it at home.

• 12:48Speaker 02

  So it kind of looks like missionary?

• 12:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. It's like you're watching somebody fuck in their apartment. Like, don't, don't go behind the pillow.

• 12:56Sam Morril?

  Like rear window.

• 12:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:58Sam Morril?

  Did someone just get murdered?

• 12:59Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 13:01Speaker 02

  So you really, because you're below the ring?

• 13:03Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, exactly. So you're kind of looking up, and you miss a lot, and then they go to the other side of the cage, and you're like, oh, what's happening over there? It's, it's not great.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, did, I, I, I, did you, what is that, a picture?

• 13:14Sam Morril?

  That's our buddy Gary Vider. He used to be, his dad was a con man.

• 13:18Mark Normand?

  Any metal these celebrities.

• 13:19Sam Morril?

  And he would take them to sports games pretending they were Sports Illustrated for kids.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  What a crazy hairline that guy has.

• 13:25Sam Morril?

  That's Gary with Mario Lemieux.

• 13:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's how big hockey players are.

• 13:29Speaker 02

  That's Lemieux's hairline? Look at that, dude.

• 13:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  That looks like a backwards wig. That is a crazy look.

• 13:37Mark Normand?

  Well, that was, this back when celebrities met something.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:40Mark Normand?

  If you had a picture with Michael Jordan.

• 13:41Sam Morril?

  Autographs back then meant way more.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  Listen, man, I remember, this is how old I am.

• 13:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  I remember being real, real, real, real, real young, and you would write a letter to an athlete, and they would send you an autographed picture in the mail.

• 13:56Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 13:57Speaker 02

  And it was the coolest, now, they probably weren't autographing them, but it was the coolest.

• 14:02Sam Morril?

  Who do you think's doing it? Some intern?

• 14:03Speaker 02

  I, but, yeah.

• 14:04Mark Normand?

  Probably.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  I had, I was, I'm a Red Sox guy.

• 14:07Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  So I had written for Jim Rice and Fred Linz, those are old, like, Red Sox dudes.

• 14:13Sam Morril?

  Sure, yeah.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  Autographs. And they send them back, and I remember asking Jim Rice later about it. I was like, dude, I got your autograph in the mail, and he was like, that wasn't.

• 14:24Sam Morril?

  That's hilarious.

• 14:24Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 14:25Sam Morril?

  I did that when I was a kid to Saturday Night Live for Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon.

• 14:29Mark Normand?

  No way.

• 14:29Sam Morril?

  Molly Shannon sent me an autograph.

• 14:31Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 14:31Sam Morril?

  Probably not her.

• 14:32Speaker 02

  What picture did she use?

• 14:33Sam Morril?

  She was like Mary Catherine Gallagher.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  That's the one you want.

• 14:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah. No, I thought she was hilarious.

• 14:39Mark Normand?

  She is funny.

• 14:39Sam Morril?

  She's awesome.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  She's, for me, top four, especially, without a doubt, women who have ever been on SNL.

• 14:47Sam Morril?

  She's just always funny.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:49Sam Morril?

  And, and a, just, she's just good in everything.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. I felt that same way about Kristen Wiig.

• 14:54Mark Normand?

  Wiig was insane.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  That, the first time I saw the baby hand sketch.

• 14:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  I, I, that's one of those, I can be like, I'm, hard to remember laughing that hard at a sketch live.

• 15:07Mark Normand?

  Both attractive, too, if you really get down to the.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  That's my guy right there, Jim Rice.

• 15:11Mark Normand?

  There he is.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  That, I'll tell you what that was. He had hit a ball that hit that kid in the stands.

• 15:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, shut up, that's a Vietnam photo. Golly.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  Right after they had dropped napalm?

• 15:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  And he was in his uniform, that's the way he went over there.

• 15:27Mark Normand?

  He's a patriot.

• 15:28Sam Morril?

  He's running the chopper like Defoe in Platoon, just getting gunned down.

• 15:32Mark Normand?

  Oh wow, that kid looks fucked up.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  They went, he went and grabbed him and brought him through the dugout. I remember that.

• 15:38Sam Morril?

  That happened to a friend of mine at a game once. We were at a game, we were kids, and Mike Lowell played for the Red Sox, but it was when he played for the Yankees, briefly, fouled a ball off, went like deep, hit a fucking, uh, one of those pole things, hit my friend right in the head.

• 15:53Speaker 02

  Woo!

• 15:54Sam Morril?

  We were young, we were really young.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  Huge bump, or did he have the laces in?

• 15:58Sam Morril?

  All I know is we didn't get to see the end of the game.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:00Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 16:01Sam Morril?

  Fucking pussy with his big head.

• 16:03Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 16:03Sam Morril?

  Ruined, ruined a hot ticket.

• 16:05Mark Normand?

  Ah, that was the funeral.

• 16:08Sam Morril?

  Well, I didn't say those words exactly.

• 16:10Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  That's it. You, you, that's basically the picture.

• 16:12Mark Normand?

  I mean, come on, that shit.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Basically the picture.

• 16:15Sam Morril?

  That's amazing that he grabbed the person he hit.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:18Mark Normand?

  That's a photo op.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  I, I, I always used to think about that, those screaming line drives into the stands. And the announcer would be like, there's a lucky fan. I'm like, how lucky it really is that? Cause even if they try to catch it with their hand.

• 16:32Sam Morril?

  It hurts.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, it's just a ground ball with your hand.

• 16:35Sam Morril?

  Think about now, people on their phones, like that. Back then, you paid attention to the game.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 16:40Sam Morril?

  Now it's like you're on your phone, bam, you know?

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Well, they put up the screens, I think, in every stadium now.

• 16:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  Right? Down the, I think they put up the screens down on every stadium. Because people were getting hit in the fucking head with a hardball.

• 16:54Mark Normand?

  Well, you saw that, I know it's old news now, but the scene where the guy was pulling the ball out of that guy's glove?

• 16:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:00Mark Normand?

  That was, I mean, in Japan, that wouldn't fly. They would cut that guy's hand off.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  That was, it wasn't that, it was in the World Series.

• 17:07Sam Morril?

  Which one?

• 17:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it was in the World Series, but it was so egregious.

• 17:10Sam Morril?

  That was hilarious.

• 17:11Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 17:11Sam Morril?

  That was a classic Yankee guy.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  Exactly, dude.

• 17:15Sam Morril?

  That was so funny, though.

• 17:16Mark Normand?

  Ah, you gotta love the crack of that bat.

• 17:18Sam Morril?

  And you saw Gronk said he knew this guy.

• 17:20Mark Normand?

  Oh no, look at this. Oh!

• 17:23Speaker 02

  He said he went to college with his friend. Can I tell you, now as a Red Sox fan? Can I tell you what my favorite part of this World Series was? And in the last few playoffs that the Yankees have been in?

• 17:38Sam Morril?

  Them choking?

• 17:39Speaker 02

  There's nothing that as a Red Sox fan that I like more than cutting to sad Yankee fans in the stands. They are the sad- the saddest. There's no group of people that looks sadder. And let me tell you something else that's crazy because my generation and this young generation. So after the Yankees lost, right? I was actually in LA at the time and there was a Yankee fan in the hotel lobby and there were some Yankee, uh, Dodger fans. And, um, the Yankee fan said something about 28 or 20, however many rings they have. And the Dodger, he was a kid, like 20, he goes, what are you talking about? The Yankees are like the 49ers. They can't win the big one.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  That's how long ago it was for this generation of people since the Yankees have won. And my thing about the 28 sad-

• 18:27Sam Morril?

  Five in my lifetime is pretty good.

• 18:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, but dude, even dinosaurs walked the earth. Like-

• 18:32Sam Morril?

  That's a reach right there.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  Look at this dude!

• 18:37Sam Morril?

  We're going from five in the last 30 to the Big Bang now?

• 18:41Speaker 02

  Is it five? But it's the late 90s, man.

• 18:44Sam Morril?

  And they won one in 09.

• 18:45Speaker 02

  You look at people that my son's age, he's 27, right? That 09 one, yeah, but mostly it's-

• 18:54Speaker 02

  This is my favorite, man.

• 18:56Mark Normand?

  I thought that was Parkland.

• 18:57Sam Morril?

  You know what? That builds character. That's good for the kid.

• 18:59Speaker 02

  Dude, as a Red Sox fan, I understand that picture very well.

• 19:03Sam Morril?

  And also, pull up, pull up the Jeffrey, uh, what's his name? The guy, the Baltimore Orioles game?

• 19:08Speaker 03

  Oh, Jeffrey-

• 19:09Sam Morril?

  Jeffrey Mayer.

• 19:10Speaker 03

  Wow, good pull.

• 19:12Sam Morril?

  Cause this is a fucking hilarious one. This is, this is Yankee fans being absolute people of the shit. But this kid, this kid was a hero-

• 19:20Speaker 02

  He was.

• 19:20Sam Morril?

  For a few days because look at this. I mean, this is-

• 19:23Mark Normand?

  What year?

• 19:23Speaker 02

  96. Dude, I remember this so well.

• 19:27Sam Morril?

  Me too. I was, I was 10 years old.

• 19:30Speaker 03

  This is before our instant replay, Mark, so this, this stood.

• 19:33Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 19:35Sam Morril?

  Tony Tarasco.

• 19:36Mark Normand?

  Pops it back to the wall. Kid stole it.

• 19:40Sam Morril?

  That's a homerun.

• 19:43Speaker 02

  And he was a, he was a hero.

• 19:46Sam Morril?

  He was a hero.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  He was a hero. Look at this kid right there. Look at that.

• 19:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, that was interference. That's totally interference.

• 19:54Sam Morril?

  Every moment as a kid you want, you're like, I helped the Yankees win.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  By the way, a thousand percent that kid has a podcast right now.

• 20:02Sam Morril?

  I gotta ask, I gotta, remember Jim Larrats?

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 20:05Sam Morril?

  I got, he was like the Yankees hired assassin. Do you remember him?

• 20:08Mark Normand?

  Jim Larrats, a third baseman?

• 20:10Sam Morril?

  He was a DH toward the end. He was the guy they just called up because he was clutch. Like, he didn't do shit in the regular season, but he would always hit the big shot. He wiggled the bat. So, I got hit up to do his podcast years ago and I'm like, man, I wonder what Jim Larrats has been up to? And I was like, he killed someone in a drunk driving accident. So I guess he lost the clutch gene.

• 20:31Mark Normand?

  Drink bodega cap, folks.

• 20:34Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  Was that the name of the podcast?

• 20:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, man.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  Shit.

• 20:41Sam Morril?

  But he was a fucking-

• 20:42Speaker 02

  Isn't he the guy who hit the homerun off the Braves, off of Mark Wallers? I, I-

• 20:47Sam Morril?

  He was clutch as hell.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, this was not, I'd hate this.

• 20:50Sam Morril?

  This dude always hit the big one, though. I mean, he was like-

• 20:53Speaker 02

  And this was the last game-

• 20:54Sam Morril?

  Look at his stance, too, is so cool. Jimmy Larrats.

• 20:58Speaker 02

  Jim, Mark Wallers.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 21:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, nice.

• 21:03Speaker 02

  And Mark Wallers, up to that point, was as money-

• 21:06Mark Normand?

  Lights out.

• 21:07Speaker 02

  As any closer ever, and he never had-

• 21:09Sam Morril?

  Great pitching, dude.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  Never had a good game, like, a good, he, he broke him. That game fucking broke him. I faced him in high school.

• 21:16Mark Normand?

  Come on.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  Wallers.

• 21:17Sam Morril?

  You were, so you were a good baseball player?

• 21:19Speaker 02

  I was alright.

• 21:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 21:20Speaker 02

  I faced him in high school. I played some college baseball. And, um, I faced him in high school. And he pitched for Holyoke, and I grew up in Amherst. And man, it was like thirty-four degrees. And with those metal bats, and he was pumping ninety-two, ninety-three. Nobody even wanted to, the first kid who swung a bat, that foul ball, he walked back, he was like, it hurts so much. We were all like, Mom, I'm not even gonna try to touch the ball.

• 21:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  He was, it was crazy how hard he was thrown.

• 21:50Sam Morril?

  That's what I see baseball players get hit by 100 mile per hour balls.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  There's a

• 21:53Sam Morril?

  I'm like, how do you not just break a bone?

• 21:56Speaker 02

  Especially in the back or the ribs or the wrist. I played for a school called Trinity, but there's an actual guy named Josh Wolfe. I think he got drafted by the Mets.

• 22:05Mark Normand?

  Oh, damn.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  Um, but.

• 22:08Sam Morril?

  Just live in a different li- I, there's a guy in the cast.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  This is, you know, I was, I played baseball for a school before the internet.

• 22:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 22:19Speaker 02

  But I was, I can pull up a picture on my phone if you want to see it, but.

• 22:22Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  Um, but yeah, man, I, uh.

• 22:25Mark Normand?

  How was the, the trim with the, the college baseball? Were you just cleaning up?

• 22:29Speaker 02

  No, okay, I went to school at a, a school in Texas and I had really long hair at the time.

• 22:37Mark Normand?

  Okay, all right.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  And, uh, my, first of all, my coach was casually racist. He was this dude named Slim. We called him Slim and he was, he, okay. So he was trying to, every time he would give us, he would prep us for what team we were playing.

• 22:53Mark Normand?

  Uh huh.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  And he was like, so guys, this next team we're playing, um, they got a lot of skill players. And we were like.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Skill players.

• 23:03Mark Normand?

  That doesn't sound so bad.

• 23:04Speaker 02

  And he was like, you know, skill players, you know, like five tool skill players. And I was like, we were all like, what are you talking about? He was like, a lot of them are black. And I was like, oh, all right.

• 23:14Sam Morril?

  By the way, that's an complimentary racist.

• 23:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 23:16Sam Morril?

  I had a coach and he was way, he would go way harder, but like he would fuck with all of us. That was his thing. We loved him, but it was a black kid. Good friend of mine and he, he would call him California raisin. And I was like, ooh, that it. And then, and then when he would call him on it, he goes, you're fucking racist. He'd be like, oh, I'm racist? I played high school ba- uh, college baseball at this school. This many black kids, this many Christians, one Jew.

• 23:38Mark Normand?

  Nah.

• 23:39Sam Morril?

  I don't think that's doing the work.

• 23:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, right.

• 23:42Sam Morril?

  But God bless him, he was the best.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:44Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  By the way, I was the one Jew. I went to college in San Antonio.

• 23:50Sam Morril?

  You don't seem Jewish.

• 23:50Mark Normand?

  You hide your Judaism like a Anne Frank.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Can I?

• 23:55Mark Normand?

  I mean.

• 23:55Speaker 02

  I am, I'm whispering in the attic.

• 23:58Mark Normand?

  The camo hat, the hoodie, the high top.

• 24:01Sam Morril?

  I never would, I see Wolf.

• 24:03Speaker 02

  Hundred percent Jewish, got bar mitzvah. When I was in college, my roommate had, I went to his house for Thanksgiving and he had a relative who had never seen a Jew before and he was just staring at me. And I was just, I, over, he was the whole week, like.

• 24:22Sam Morril?

  The Annie Hall scene?

• 24:23Speaker 02

  So one day I just look at him and I go, what's going on? He goes, I just never, I just never seen a Jew before.

• 24:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but you don't look particularly Jewish.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  That's what I said, I go, what do you think? He goes, not what I thought you'd look.

• 24:33Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  So are you saying, by the way.

• 24:35Sam Morril?

  Think we need vegan food and you're like, yeah, it's kinda.

• 24:38Mark Normand?

  But you're like a black albino where somebody could be like, these fucking heaves, I'll tell you. And they're saying it to you and you're like, you don't know that I'm one of them.

• 24:45Speaker 02

  I get a lot of Jew jokes. I, I love the fact, when people say you don't look Jewish, when people ask me, does that bother you? I'm like, no, I take it as a compliment. I know what they mean.

• 24:55Mark Normand?

  I mean curly hair and, you know.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  Big nose and no chin and saggy face. Yeah, I get it.

• 24:59Sam Morril?

  What do you say I take as a compliment though? You don't look Jewish, thank God.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. That to me is a huge compliment.

• 25:05Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 25:06Speaker 02

  No the.

• 25:06Mark Normand?

  Adam Brody is very attractive.

• 25:08Sam Morril?

  This is the classic.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:14Sam Morril?

  So good.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  I don't wanna look like that.

• 25:20Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 25:21Sam Morril?

  You don't wanna act like that either.

• 25:24Sam Morril?

  God damn, is that a great movie.

• 25:26Mark Normand?

  Great fucking movie.

• 25:27Sam Morril?

  So good.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  Great, it's, I'm with, like, I, watching his movies is kinda like listening to Michael Jackson's music for me, it's like, fuck.

• 25:35Mark Normand?

  I still love it.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  I, right?

• 25:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's great. Though I mean, the talent is talent. I don't, you know, if we could separate.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  That's right, I don't have to watch him diddle.

• 25:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly, I know Roethlisberger was, uh, doing who knows what, but he could still play.

• 25:51Sam Morril?

  We know what.

• 25:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  Are you, were you a Steelers fan?

• 25:54Mark Normand?

  No, I'm just, I'm just using an example of a-

• 25:57Sam Morril?

  If you're a Steelers fan, you just have to be like, that's our guy.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  If it had happened now, it had been such a much bigger deal with social media. Like, some of that stuff, those dudes who got away with shit, it just kinda went away.

• 26:10Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 26:11Sam Morril?

  Pre me too. I mean, look at Clinton, pre me too versus after. It's like, I guess it's settled down a little, but the vibe is-

• 26:17Speaker 02

  Dude, look at Bill Cosby.

• 26:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 26:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:21Speaker 02

  I, I said it, I said to somebody once, they were like, who's one of your favorite comics? I said, Bill Cosby, pre rape. And I was like, well, actually, there's no pre rape. During rape.

• 26:29Mark Normand?

  Probably.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  We are knowledge.

• 26:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, but we are knowledge. But like, it, it, people got away with shit, or it just kind of went away.

• 26:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 26:40Speaker 02

  There was no way for it to spread like wildfire, like there is now.

• 26:44Mark Normand?

  True.

• 26:44Speaker 02

  All it took is Hannibal to tell what to go.

• 26:47Mark Normand?

  Right. Well, it makes you wonder who's next. Like, is the Tom Hanks shoe gonna drop, or, uh?

• 26:52Speaker 02

  Light your tongue.

• 26:54Sam Morril?

  Tom Hanks thing is bullshit.

• 26:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm just saying.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  What Tom Hanks thing?

• 26:57Sam Morril?

  That's what I'm saying. I don't think it's real.

• 26:58Speaker 03

  QAnon thinks it's a pedophile.

• 27:00Mark Normand?

  But I was just throwing out an example of a beloved guy.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  QAnon thinks a lot, dude.

• 27:04Sam Morril?

  Why are we like, QAnon reports, like they're fucking-

• 27:08Speaker 02

  This is what I'm saying. The problem is right now, is that you can be any news source and report, and then somebody's gonna be like, I believe it.

• 27:17Mark Normand?

  Yes. Well, you wanna believe it. You, it's juicy. Like, oh, this could-

• 27:20Sam Morril?

  I don't wanna believe it with Tom Hanks.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  Me neither.

• 27:22Mark Normand?

  I'm not saying I want to either, but I'm saying people enjoy that.

• 27:24Speaker 02

  Dude, that's like saying something bad about Dolly Parton.

• 27:27Mark Normand?

  People have schadenfreude. I'm telling you, like, when Ellen gets popped for being a [BLEEP], everybody's like, woo wee! And I'm like, well, she was never a [BLEEP] to you. But they love it.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  And in a way, everybody, who's boss hasn't been an asshole sometime?

• 27:39Mark Normand?

  I know, I know.

• 27:39Sam Morril?

  I love Dolly Parton, human trafficking aside.

• 27:45Mark Normand?

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• 28:26Mark Normand?

  at Shopify.com/Drunk, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com/Drunk to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com/Drunk.

• 28:41Sam Morril?

  I got you, got you a drink right there if you want.

• 28:43Speaker 04

  I'm so sorry.

• 28:44Sam Morril?

  Hey, great to see you.

• 28:46Mark Normand?

  It's funny, we talked about a Dolly Barton and a lesbian shows up. It's like, it has to happen.

• 28:52Speaker 04

  Here I am.

• 28:53Mark Normand?

  How the hell are you?

• 28:54Sam Morril?

  You came, did you come straight from Kelly Clarkson?

• 28:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:56Mark Normand?

  Whoa, you got a lot of range.

• 28:58Speaker 04

  Listen, you know, Kelly.

• 28:59Sam Morril?

  I hear she's, I hear she's awesome. Is she the coolest?

• 29:02Speaker 04

  She's really, she's really cool. I love.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  Do you remember sharing a Kelly Clark, love for Kelly Clarkson?

• 29:07Speaker 04

  Absolutely. We talked about her all the time.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  On Chelsea's show.

• 29:10Speaker 04

  I've now done her TV show 10 times.

• 29:12Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 29:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, I love her. I want to be able to see you.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  Have you sung with her?

• 29:19Speaker 04

  No, I tried. I angled for it today.

• 29:22Speaker 02

  And?

• 29:22Speaker 04

  She was like, "That's so funny."

• 29:26Speaker 04

  We talked about I sing with Alanis Morissette.

• 29:30Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 29:30Speaker 04

  Stage, and I've sung with the chicks on stage.

• 29:33Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 29:34Speaker 04

  We talked about that, and I was like, "And if you ever want me to sing?" And she was like, "Those are the funniest stories."

• 29:41Mark Normand?

  I didn't know you sang. Are you a, are you a talented singer?

• 29:44Speaker 04

  That was, the mic was hitting my man boob.

• 29:49Speaker 04

  I'm a shower singer, like karaoke, I can carry a tune.

• 29:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 29:53Speaker 04

  But yeah, that was it right there.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  This is amazing.

• 29:56Mark Normand?

  Nicely done.

• 29:57Sam Morril?

  This is you singing?

• 29:58Speaker 04

  That's me, I, I, well, that's me coming out on stage. There's a whole lead up to it.

• 30:04Sam Morril?

  Let's get to it.

• 30:05Mark Normand?

  Who's this?

• 30:06Speaker 04

  What is this?

• 30:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 30:07Sam Morril?

  Paper plane.

• 30:08Speaker 04

  Oh, I like paper planes. Thank you.

• 30:10Mark Normand?

  I love Alanis.

• 30:11Speaker 04

  That's me right there singing, guys.

• 30:14Mark Normand?

  Oh my god.

• 30:15Sam Morril?

  Good.

• 30:16Speaker 04

  Thanks, Sam.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  You know, you played it down.

• 30:20Speaker 04

  Cause you gotta lower the bar.

• 30:21Mark Normand?

  Are you nervous?

• 30:22Speaker 04

  So nervous.

• 30:22Mark Normand?

  Eye contact, singing with one of the greats.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  They told me to sing it to her, so I like stared into her eyes.

• 30:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, are you guys gonna make out or scissor?

• 30:30Speaker 04

  I mean, we're close.

• 30:30Speaker 02

  That would be amazing.

• 30:31Speaker 04

  My wife wouldn't like that. Actually, my wife would be like, "Good for you."

• 30:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  She's ironic.

• 30:36Speaker 02

  I sang with Jewel.

• 30:38Mark Normand?

  Oh, you sang with Jewel?

• 30:39Speaker 02

  I sang, um, a Backstreet Boys song with Jewel.

• 30:42Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 30:44Sam Morril?

  Oh, please.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, it, um...

• 30:46Speaker 04

  Winnie.

• 30:47Speaker 02

  Joshua Jewel, yeah.

• 30:49Mark Normand?

  She's underrated hot.

• 30:51Speaker 02

  Jewel is one of, in person, was one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen in my entire life.

• 30:58Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  I could not...

• 31:00Speaker 04

  There you are. Look at us just singing with people.

• 31:03Mark Normand?

  I didn't have to do anything.

• 31:04Speaker 04

  Joshua's a very good singer. He's, uh, look at that.

• 31:09Speaker 02

  It's like the bad room at the Diddy party.

• 31:14Mark Normand?

  What is going on here? Why are you dressed like this?

• 31:16Speaker 02

  I had a, um, talk show for a minute, and we had people come on to sing their guilty pleasure songs.

• 31:22Mark Normand?

  Wow. What?

• 31:23Speaker 02

  And so Jewel's, this was her guilty pleasure song, one she had always wanted to sing, so we dressed up and, uh...

• 31:30Mark Normand?

  I wish I'd never seen this.

• 31:33Mark Normand?

  You with the durag, the vice theater.

• 31:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, your outfits are pretty intense.

• 31:38Speaker 02

  Not as Jewy as you.

• 31:39Mark Normand?

  No, no. The Jew is supposed to manage the boy band. Not be in it.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was an interesting time.

• 31:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, she's great. I watched the whole documentary on her, how she slept in her car.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  Her story is amazing.

• 31:54Mark Normand?

  Incredible story.

• 31:55Speaker 02

  And, and what happened when she, when her mom managed her and her mom taking her money.

• 31:59Mark Normand?

  That never works, by the way.

• 32:01Speaker 04

  Oh, I didn't know about that.

• 32:02Speaker 02

  Amazing. Her story is amazing.

• 32:03Sam Morril?

  It's never a good story with the parent managing.

• 32:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 32:05Speaker 04

  My mom could never be in charge of my money.

• 32:08Speaker 02

  That would be hilarious.

• 32:09Speaker 04

  She'd be like, "This is mine, right?"

• 32:11Speaker 02

  She'd be like, "Is this how much you're making?"

• 32:15Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 32:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, my dad was an educator his whole life. He would not believe, he was like, this is one weekend?

• 32:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  He would not be able to wrap his head around.

• 32:25Mark Normand?

  Same. My mom be like, you have to save this. This is going into savings.

• 32:27Sam Morril?

  My mom says to me every, like, you're investing this? I'm like, no.

• 32:31Speaker 02

  I guess.

• 32:32Speaker 04

  Not anything?

• 32:33Sam Morril?

  No, I invest.

• 32:33Speaker 04

  Okay, good.

• 32:34Sam Morril?

  I'm a Jew, I gotta do it.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  See, now, you don't look so Jewish.

• 32:38Sam Morril?

  Neither do you. We're undercover Jews.

• 32:41Mark Normand?

  He's got the hair.

• 32:42Speaker 02

  That's our next TV show.

• 32:47Speaker 04

  You're telling each other, you don't look so Jewish.

• 32:49Speaker 02

  It's such a compliment.

• 32:51Sam Morril?

  I know. Thank you.

• 32:52Speaker 04

  Is it?

• 32:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, look how Jews really look.

• 32:55Sam Morril?

  Ellen the Generous has moved to Great Britain.

• 32:57Mark Normand?

  See, that's so mean of this lady.

• 32:59Speaker 04

  Uh, for real?

• 33:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's in the news.

• 33:01Mark Normand?

  Good for her, get out.

• 33:02Speaker 04

  Well, if it's in the news, it must be true.

• 33:04Sam Morril?

  Why is she doing it? Cause of Trump?

• 33:05Speaker 03

  I think it's, yeah.

• 33:07Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 33:07Sam Morril?

  Probably still got a good life.

• 33:08Speaker 04

  She probably got five houses in the US. There's no way that she's moving full time.

• 33:14Speaker 02

  She's just not living full time here.

• 33:15Speaker 04

  Right.

• 33:16Mark Normand?

  You watch her special?

• 33:17Speaker 02

  I did, I wa-

• 33:18Mark Normand?

  I watched it too. It was funny, but there was too much applause.

• 33:21Speaker 02

  I, I think, I think as soon as she really started talking about what was happening with her, was when it fucking really kicked in, as I was like, oh, this is super interesting.

• 33:30Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  You can tell, her feelings were hurt. Like, that was-

• 33:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  It was such a, from that spot, was so good for me.

• 33:37Mark Normand?

  Well, you gotta, it's progress that she was fired for being a lesbian, and then she got fired, no one cared about the lesbian thing, then she got fired for being mean. That's progress.

• 33:46Speaker 04

  That is progress.

• 33:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 33:47Speaker 04

  You don't care if you're gay, just don't be a dick.

• 33:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Well, she's a cunt, you are what you eat.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Well, you know, uh.

• 33:56Mark Normand?

  I had to get that out.

• 33:57Speaker 04

  Come on, no.

• 33:58Sam Morril?

  Well, I guess we're not cunts, Mark.

• 34:01Speaker 02

  You know what I was thinking about? There are so many things that we did on Chelsea Show, that it's such a good thing they aren't on the internet.

• 34:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I thought you in blackface was a bad look, but, uh-

• 34:13Speaker 02

  Dude, we did-

• 34:14Speaker 04

  I'm like, did that happen? There was a lot of things, I, I feel like, a lot of things, jokes she made-

• 34:20Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 34:21Speaker 04

  That probably are good that they're not-

• 34:22Speaker 02

  Do you remember the sketch we did?

• 34:24Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  Where we had, it's not on the internet, they wiped the internet of her show.

• 34:29Speaker 04

  But like, a long time ago, not in recent times.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  We did a sketch, remember where the, the two Asian people who worked at the office carried us around on rickshaws?

• 34:38Speaker 04

  Now, we did not, you did.

• 34:40Speaker 02

  I did.

• 34:43Speaker 04

  I was not in that one.

• 34:45Speaker 02

  They carried us on rickshaws. They dubbed the Asian people's voice with white people's voices and the name of the sketch was "Arive Me Arone" and then a gong with him.

• 34:57Speaker 04

  I think I had forgotten that from my memory.

• 34:59Sam Morril?

  What were the sketches you shut down?

• 35:01Speaker 02

  None. There were none. If she, this is what was great about that, especially the first couple of years. It was such a, it was one of the lowest rates.

• 35:09Speaker 04

  Josh over there, the good old days.

• 35:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that show was huge, by the way.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  But there was no notes those first couple of years because it was so lowly rated.

• 35:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:17Speaker 02

  That they were just like, yeah, do whatever.

• 35:19Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  And she pushed the envelope.

• 35:21Speaker 04

  But then the show became huge.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 35:24Speaker 04

  When I joined, they were like The Beatles.

• 35:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 35:28Speaker 04

  And I was like, what's happening?

• 35:30Mark Normand?

  It broke, I mean, Joe Coy and Moshe Kasher and not Natasha Leggero and you guys, I mean, Sarah Colonna, Heather McDonald.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was kind of crazy and she really, in the room, especially the first couple of years, it got different as it, but in the room, if it was weird and she thought it would be kind of funny, she'd be like, yeah, let's do it.

• 35:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was just kind of like, whatever you came up with, ended up on TV.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:56Speaker 04

  I played a lot of, um, I did a lot of celebrities.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 04

  I played Adele.

• 36:03Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 36:03Speaker 04

  Obviously.

• 36:04Mark Normand?

  Zinger.

• 36:05Speaker 04

  Christina Aguilera, Honey Boo Boo.

• 36:09Speaker 04

  Honey Boo Boo's mom.

• 36:12Sam Morril?

  Honey Boo Boo is you kids are listening, pre-Rizzler.

• 36:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:18Sam Morril?

  That was kind of what that was.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  I played Amanda Bynes.

• 36:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:21Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 36:22Speaker 04

  I played a lot of people that I looked nothing like.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  And the men, it was reversed. However sexually harassed or exploited she had felt women had been, is what she was doing to dudes. So we were the ones in short skirts. Shirtless. We were the ones who were being sexualized and she did not, she did one show, man.

• 36:43Sam Morril?

  But for you, you're like very fit. I feel like it was all right for you.

• 36:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was fine to do it.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  I was fine to do it.

• 36:48Speaker 04

  I got a shirt, I'll take my shirt off.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  She did things like, she would humiliate dudes. There was one show, she didn't like Bobby Lee's first two jokes. So she, she was like, Bobby, get under the desk for the next, I don't like these jokes. Tell your jokes from underneath the desk.

• 37:01Sam Morril?

  And then, and then carry the rickshaw.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:04Speaker 02

  But yeah, she was, she was. The first thing she said to Ryan Lochte when he came out for an interview.

• 37:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, he was hot, the swimmer.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  But he was not the brightest.

• 37:14Sam Morril?

  And he was also like the other, Michael Phelps was the guy.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:17Sam Morril?

  No matter how good you were, you were kinda in his shadow.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  And he was not known to be the brightest person. He sat down for the interview and the first thing she said to him was, "So do you think you're stupid?"

• 37:28Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 37:29Speaker 04

  I don't remember that either.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  God.

• 37:32Sam Morril?

  What'd he say?

• 37:32Speaker 02

  I forget. I was laughing too hard.

• 37:34Mark Normand?

  I can't, you've gone to be kidding me. She said that?

• 37:37Speaker 02

  She, uh, yeah, she was.

• 37:39Speaker 04

  The only impression I didn't get to do, which I thought was a good idea, and they had pitched me the idea of playing, um, Girl Fi- Fiery.

• 37:47Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's fun.

• 37:49Speaker 04

  Uh, the girl version of Guy Fieri. And they ended up being like, taking, they pitched it and I was like, that's a good idea. And then they had somebody else play Guy Fieri. I'm like, well, that's not funny.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  Right.

• 38:00Speaker 04

  You're just having someone play Guy Fieri, but he has a sister with a goatee named Girl Fieri? That's funny.

• 38:06Mark Normand?

  That's funny.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  And the thing that she, that we would have Chewie, which was her little Mexican sidekick do.

• 38:15Mark Normand?

  Little, little guy?

• 38:16Speaker 02

  Dude, first of all, he would always ask, "How much does the Holocaust?"

• 38:21Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's fun.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  Which was fun.

• 38:23Mark Normand?

  Fun line.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Always, and then we would always put him in a diaper. Remember he would dress up like a baby and put him in a little diaper?

• 38:30Speaker 04

  This feels like 50 years ago.

• 38:31Sam Morril?

  Where did Chewie come from? What hap- where did she come from?

• 38:34Speaker 02

  He had done porn before.

• 38:35Mark Normand?

  No.

• 38:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:36Speaker 02

  He is still on the internet.

• 38:38Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, he is still on the internet. Yeah.

• 38:41Mark Normand?

  Chewie?

• 38:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was in.

• 38:43Sam Morril?

  This guy's had a real Forrest Gump-like life.

• 38:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 38:46Speaker 04

  But he, when he was on this show, he was still so popular with girls. They threw themselves at him.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  You remember walking through the airport with him?

• 38:55Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:56Speaker 02

  It was like walking through with Elvis.

• 38:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:58Mark Normand?

  What?

• 38:59Speaker 04

  And, and he'd just.

• 39:00Mark Normand?

  Or like Elvis.

• 39:01Speaker 04

  Have his hand on his butt.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  Remember where he would put his hand? He went, if he was standing next to a woman, his hand would come.

• 39:08Speaker 04

  Oh, wow. Here we are.

• 39:11Mark Normand?

  He's not just on a.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  I would do Chuy Bravo. C H U Y.

• 39:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, make sure you get the spelling right on Pornhub.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  C H U Y Bravo.

• 39:20Sam Morril?

  Don't act like you've never searched for that.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  No grammatical errors on Pornhub, please.

• 39:24Mark Normand?

  Wait, I cut you. What were you gonna say about Chuy?

• 39:27Speaker 04

  Just that he was always, he was right in line with ladies' butts. So, which is naturally land on the butts.

• 39:34Speaker 02

  It does feel like a different lifetime.

• 39:36Speaker 04

  I mean, it feels like a thousand years ago, for sure.

• 39:38Mark Normand?

  But now, here's the annoying question that I gotta bring up, because I'm a cunt. This is still funny. The rickshaw thing is funny. What do we do now? Because you can't have this on TV, but it's still, we still find it funny. Like, Chelsea is still this person. But I know she can't be that person in the public eye. So what do you do now to be funny? Do you just go on the internet?

• 39:59Speaker 02

  Ah, you mean for her?

• 40:00Speaker 04

  Oh, like you do it on YouTube?

• 40:02Sam Morril?

  I think you mean for the audience, right?

• 40:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah, because the audience is still like this kind of humor, but you can't do it on TV anymore. So now what?

• 40:10Speaker 02

  It's such.

• 40:11Sam Morril?

  It'll be back. It all swings back.

• 40:13Mark Normand?

  You think?

• 40:14Sam Morril?

  I think it's all coming back. I mean, look, Reverend shit always swings back around, I think.

• 40:19Speaker 02

  I think it is swinging back right now.

• 40:22Sam Morril?

  Because in the end, all they care about is money.

• 40:24Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 40:24Sam Morril?

  So if that's making money, they're gonna be like, let's try it.

• 40:27Mark Normand?

  But if that's the case, can we stop going, hey, this is immoral, this is inappropriate? You're like, well, if it's gonna come back anyways, why waste the time of yelling at everybody and?

• 40:35Speaker 02

  Did we, I don't ever remember thinking in the joke room, we can't do that.

• 40:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. That's how I used to be.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think, I think it was, uh, pretty much anything goes. I just kinda sat quiet until people told me what to do.

• 40:49Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 40:49Speaker 04

  Go play this person, go do this sketch, do this thing. And I was like, okay.

• 40:55Speaker 04

  Because there was a lot of big personalities in that room. I don't think I talked for the first year and a half.

• 41:00Speaker 02

  You did.

• 41:01Speaker 04

  I was very like, you know, minding my Ps and Qs. They were all very loud and very like, one-upping each other in the room. And I just was like, I'm just excited to have a paycheck.

• 41:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah. That show sold tickets.

• 41:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:16Speaker 02

  But it put us on the road, a lot of us, before we should have been in front of audiences.

• 41:20Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 41:22Speaker 04

  Oh, you think?

• 41:23Speaker 02

  I, I think, when I look back at the comedy, I can only speak for me.

• 41:26Speaker 04

  I was like, I was ready.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  I can only speak for me, but when I think about the stand-up that I was doing at that time in front of the size crowds that we were, it was a little disproportionate.

• 41:38Sam Morril?

  Right.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  For me, I mean, I think people were so just happy that we were there.

• 41:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 41:42Speaker 02

  It was one of those situations, but it's.

• 41:44Sam Morril?

  But you look back now that you've kind of done the work and you're like, and you see it. I get what you mean.

• 41:48Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 41:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:49Sam Morril?

  Well, no, because I, because I, I was the opposite. I wasn't like the papered funny bones for so many, like, but you know, by the end of it, you're like, it's, I mean, you probably have a different audience now than you did then.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  Way different.

• 42:00Sam Morril?

  But that's kind of cool that you've kind of, you didn't just fall down. Like it didn't take you out. You kind of grew with an audience, you know?

• 42:07Speaker 02

  I, I actually had to change my audience because I really, so the Chelsea glow was off of me and I wasn't talking about the things on stage that Chelsea's on.

• 42:20Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 42:21Speaker 02

  Was interested in listening.

• 42:22Sam Morril?

  Interesting.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  So it was like, oh, I better find a group of people that actually want to hear what I'm talking about.

• 42:29Sam Morril?

  But it's hard to figure that out for like rooms that, that size or that kind of pressure.

• 42:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 42:35Sam Morril?

  Cause you don't want people to pay that kind of cover and not get a good show.

• 42:38Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 42:39Sam Morril?

  But yeah, it's, that's, that's a dilemma.

• 42:41Mark Normand?

  You gotta be you.

• 42:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 42:42Mark Normand?

  Damn, that is tough. But I, I opened for all those people. So selfishly I loved it because I, I got to do a full room at Gotham with Sarah Cologne.

• 42:50Sam Morril?

  Same, I opened for her once too.

• 42:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah, nice lady.

• 42:53Speaker 02

  Great.

• 42:53Mark Normand?

  Hit on her, but.

• 42:54Speaker 04

  Did you really?

• 42:55Mark Normand?

  I hit on everybody in the early 2000s.

• 42:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I saw her and she was like, not you again. I was like, I'm not Mark Normand.

• 43:03Mark Normand?

  I was like Judy Gold, what's up?

• 43:08Speaker 04

  I would, what is your version of hitting on people?

• 43:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah, what are you doing after? You want to get a drink?

• 43:14Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 43:14Mark Normand?

  Let's hang out after.

• 43:15Speaker 04

  Oh, gotcha.

• 43:16Mark Normand?

  You know, 50/50.

• 43:17Speaker 04

  Okay, you got to shoot your shot.

• 43:19Speaker 02

  A one through 10, how effective would you feel like you hitting on somebody is?

• 43:24Mark Normand?

  Well, I think with ladies, it would really depend because I'm not a hot guy. So it would depend on the set. If I killed, it was a lot easier to, to hook up.

• 43:33Speaker 04

  What about with guys?

• 43:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, you did say with ladies.

• 43:37Mark Normand?

  Oh, oh, well, with guys, they'll just beat me in a bathroom. Guys are easy. You and ladies are the ones putting all the roadblocks up.

• 43:43Speaker 04

  You guys are making me buy you dinner.

• 43:46Mark Normand?

  Exactly, exactly. So much work. But guys, yeah, my friend is gay and he's on the, what is it, the Sniffler?

• 43:53Speaker 04

  Oh, what's that?

• 43:54Mark Normand?

  Sniffies. It's a new app.

• 43:55Speaker 04

  I don't know what this is.

• 43:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, Sniffies.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  What does that mean?

• 43:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, what is it?

• 44:00Speaker 03

  I don't know what it means. I know what it is. It's like a way dirtier grinder.

• 44:05Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 44:06Speaker 02

  Grinder was toning it down?

• 44:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was like, was that not dirty enough?

• 44:10Mark Normand?

  This is quicker than grinder. It's a

• 44:12Speaker 04

  Banging in the bathroom?

• 44:13Mark Normand?

  Meet me in this bathroom at this bar in five minutes, and that's it.

• 44:16Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 44:17Speaker 04

  I don't know. It's dirtier. I don't want that.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  There's a little, uh, thing you can hit on the thing. It's called a cum dump.

• 44:25Speaker 04

  Oh, what's that?

• 44:26Speaker 03

  You might have to bleep this. There's just a gentleman in a stall, and then he says, "I'm here. Find me."

• 44:33Speaker 02

  It's like, where's Waldo?

• 44:35Speaker 04

  And then what?

• 44:36Speaker 03

  And then you have sex with him. He's

• 44:38Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  In the bathroom.

• 44:39Speaker 02

  Cum dump?

• 44:41Speaker 03

  That's what it's called.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  By the way, can't they designate a stall for that so I know that I'm not?

• 44:47Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 44:48Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like, this is the cum dump stall. Cool.

• 44:51Speaker 04

  Just stick to the urinal.

• 44:53Sam Morril?

  Josh is taking a shit. He's eating a little too much jerk chicken. He's like, "God damn it, I'm next to the cum dump."

• 44:58Speaker 02

  What is the cum dump stall?

• 45:00Mark Normand?

  Why is it sticky? The floors are sticky.

• 45:02Speaker 04

  That's crazy.

• 45:03Sam Morril?

  That's the worst.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  That is, that, but what is?

• 45:06Mark Normand?

  Well, that's men. If you leave men to their own devices, you get a cum dump app.

• 45:10Sam Morril?

  It just shows you that men just get right to the point.

• 45:12Mark Normand?

  They really do.

• 45:13Sam Morril?

  They do. I mean, for better or worse, that's like, it is pretty cool.

• 45:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's a win-win. It's pretty cool. Like what you fellows are doing over there.

• 45:22Sam Morril?

  But lesbians, I mean, this is, so that's a gay

• 45:24Speaker 04

  Oh, it's a lot of talking.

• 45:25Sam Morril?

  It's a lot of talking, yeah.

• 45:26Speaker 04

  A lot of talking. A lot of sharing feelings. Where are we going? What does this mean?

• 45:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, get out of here.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  Is it mutual sharing feelings?

• 45:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  Or is there one who's more like, let's get close?

• 45:37Speaker 04

  There are those that are like, let's get to it, but mostly it's emotional stuff first.

• 45:42Sam Morril?

  Why is that?

• 45:43Speaker 04

  Because I think that's just how ladies These are wired, you know.

• 45:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:46Speaker 04

  Some of them wanna just, you know, get to it. The, the real slutty ones. But yeah, for the most part, women like that connection.

• 45:54Mark Normand?

  Where are you at, honey boo boo?

• 45:56Speaker 04

  Oh, um, this honey boo boo likes, I like a little bit of a connection.

• 46:00Mark Normand?

  Okay, okay.

• 46:02Speaker 04

  I was never like going wild in my, even in my single days.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  I remember your single days.

• 46:07Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, it was just, I just didn't date seri- a lot of serious, uh, I didn't have a lot of serious relationships. Cause I was always working and touring and.

• 46:16Speaker 02

  Kills you nice.

• 46:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, and that, and so I just kinda had fun.

• 46:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, good for you.

• 46:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I wasn't like, it wasn't a lot of girls. It was just like, you know, here and there.

• 46:26Mark Normand?

  I don't wanna be a party pooper, but I think the lesbian divorce rate is through the roof.

• 46:31Speaker 04

  Is it? No way. Do you know, do you know the stat?

• 46:35Mark Normand?

  I read divorce rates every day.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  How is that a stat?

• 46:38Speaker 04

  Oh, what's happening?

• 46:38Speaker 02

  That's a hilarious stat to just throw out there.

• 46:40Speaker 04

  I bet I, I bet I know why.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  Higher than gay?

• 46:43Speaker 04

  I, oh, I, I think I, I think I know why.

• 46:47Mark Normand?

  Wow, that is high.

• 46:48Speaker 04

  A lot of gay men have open relationships.

• 46:51Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 46:52Speaker 04

  So they are not, um, but it's more sex. It's not like, I, I, some of them have like a husband and a boyfriend, but a lot of it's, I'm married and both of us also, if we wanna sleep with someone, we sleep with someone. Lesbians get what's called lesbian, um, bed death.

• 47:11Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  That sounds.

• 47:13Speaker 04

  Something like that.

• 47:14Mark Normand?

  I've heard of this.

• 47:15Speaker 04

  And so that, cause you become best friends, you ha- it's like your family, you stop boning as much.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  That kinda happens in heterosexual marriages too.

• 47:24Speaker 04

  Oh, does it?

• 47:25Sam Morril?

  Lesbian bed death sounds like the worst death on Oregon Trail or something. That's rough.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  What happened in the back of that wagon?

• 47:37Speaker 02

  We lost her.

• 47:39Mark Normand?

  Good punk band though, lesbian bed death.

• 47:45Speaker 04

  But women aren't capable, I, I don't think women are as, are as capable of the open stuff to the extent men are.

• 47:53Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 47:53Speaker 04

  I feel like men can really compartment, compartmentalize sex and love. They're two different things.

• 47:58Mark Normand?

  Yes, it's an oil change.

• 48:00Speaker 04

  For women, they're very intertwined because there are physical things that happen with a woman's body. You're, that connects you to a person when you have the sex.

• 48:08Speaker 02

  Can you explain a couple of those things to me so I?

• 48:10Speaker 04

  No, it's just like, it's like, um, it's a chemical thing.

• 48:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 48:15Speaker 04

  With women. So, yeah, but I don't know what happened. But, yeah, I guess with your, if you're with anybody for many, many years, that stuff gets stagnant, right?

• 48:24Speaker 02

  You know what's helped, honestly, I think what's helped my marriage the most is that I'm gone so much.

• 48:29Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:29Mark Normand?

  I completely agree.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  And so when I, it's not like, oh, fucking you again.

• 48:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:35Speaker 02

  But I'm gone for three or four days and when I come back, we're like, oh, hey, I really kind of, I kind of like you.

• 48:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:40Mark Normand?

  And you have stuff to talk. What'd you do? What did I miss when I was gone?

• 48:43Sam Morril?

  You don't fall into that gossip trap or just watching shows.

• 48:47Mark Normand?

  No.

• 48:48Sam Morril?

  You're just like, Rachel Feinstein has that great bit where she's like, you know, is this, she's in a toxic relation, but she doesn't even realize it because we're watching Breaking Bad. You know, it's like, but it's just so relatable. You're like, oh shit, no, the relationship's not good. The show is good.

• 49:02Mark Normand?

  Yes, that's how, that's really funny.

• 49:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 49:05Mark Normand?

  That's so true too. Those shows are keeping a lot of Marriage on Life support. Just beep, beep.

• 49:10Speaker 02

  Because you sit down, you don't talk to each other.

• 49:12Mark Normand?

  But you're doing something, but you're not.

• 49:15Speaker 04

  Quality time, but, but yeah, the, the gay men are just still banging.

• 49:20Mark Normand?

  They're still banging.

• 49:20Speaker 04

  They're married and banging still.

• 49:22Sam Morril?

  For, are you familiar with the term U-hauling?

• 49:25Speaker 04

  I do know U-hauling, yes.

• 49:26Sam Morril?

  Explain it to these gentlemen, because they don't.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  Gentlemen, U-hauling is when you start dating, uh, two lesbians start dating, and the joke is, what does a lesbian bring on the second date? A U-Haul.

• 49:39Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 49:39Speaker 04

  They're ready to like shack up, get married, lock it down. That's why lesbian bars are, um, few and far between. Because once lesbians pair up, they stop going out.

• 49:50Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 49:51Speaker 04

  Whereas guys are still on the prowl.

• 49:53Speaker 02

  Guys are bike messed.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, even, even, yeah, even if guys are in a relationship, they're still going to the bars, they're still trying to meet people, they're still hanging out. Lesbians are like, well, I'm done, I'm off the market, let's stay home, why don't we want to go get a cheap drink?

• 50:05Mark Normand?

  Don't sell toilet seats, sell toilet paper.

• 50:08Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 50:09Mark Normand?

  You want to keep, the toilet seats last 20 years, toilet paper.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  Not the way I use them.

• 50:13Mark Normand?

  Wow, you don't say it. It's the same with lesbians.

• 50:16Speaker 04

  You cracked over there.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  Do you know, I was at, a long time ago, I was at a barbecue at Ralphie May's house, long time ago, in the Hollywood Hills. And I said to him, I go, Ralphie, and I had to go poop, I go, Ralphie, I gotta go to the bathroom. He goes, Joshua, go up into my bathroom, the second floor, nobody's gonna bother you up there. So I go up there, and I sit down, and I fell in.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  Wait, you fell in the toilet?

• 50:38Speaker 02

  In the toilet, and I, I go downstairs to Ralphie, I'm like, Ralphie, he goes, did you fall in? I go, yeah, he goes, yeah, I knew you skinny ass would, I had to buy an extra big toilet, he had, he bought an extra big toilet, and I didn't know that, so the hole was bigger.

• 50:50Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  So I fucking fell, and I was like, I didn't know they sold extra big, he goes, yeah, they can sell them extra big. So they were extra big and wa, like, they were sturdier, because he would break.

• 51:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 51:01Speaker 02

  Toilet seats, a nor, a normal size, so, so that one, they had the, the extra si, extra large toilet seats they got.

• 51:09Mark Normand?

  Wow, you fell in?

• 51:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, I went right through.

• 51:13Speaker 04

  Went swimming.

• 51:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah, hopefully, at the beginning.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  Very beginning, yeah, at the very beginning, yeah, but I had, I was like a two-year-old holding onto the side.

• 51:22Mark Normand?

  You're like Brad Williams.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:24Sam Morril?

  He's doing tricep dips, trying not to fall, Jesus Christ.

• 51:27Mark Normand?

  Damn, you hear your shit goes out, it's like.

• 51:32Mark Normand?

  It takes like 30 seconds.

• 51:33Speaker 02

  Like that coin toss of a boonie?

• 51:36Mark Normand?

  You make a wish. Damn.

• 51:39Sam Morril?

  What was a barbecue like at Ralphie May's? I mean, that must have been legit.

• 51:42Speaker 02

  He cooked, he cooked great.

• 51:44Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 51:44Mark Normand?

  There it is.

• 51:45Speaker 02

  He cooked a great barbecue.

• 51:47Mark Normand?

  I hope so.

• 51:48Speaker 02

  And, man, man, Ralphie May.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  Ralphie May, he was the first one of us who made money.

• 51:55Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  And so, and he was an incredibly generous dude. And I remember we were going in his car to Jack in the Box to get food for everybody in his little apartment complex. And he ordered for everybody and then he ordered a separate bag. He was like, yeah, can I get a, whatever he ordered. But it was like a legit bag of food. And I go, what's that for? And he goes, that's for me on the drive back. And he goes, he goes, open up the glove box. And I opened the glove box and he had his own condiment robe.

• 52:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's gross.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  And yeah, he was like, he was like, I need the Cholula, I need that. And I was like, you have your own condiments? He had his own condiment, a custom-built like glove box with.

• 52:37Mark Normand?

  Wow, that's.

• 52:39Sam Morril?

  Pimp my ride for, for diabetes.

• 52:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:43Mark Normand?

  Damn, it's like, uh, like my grandpa with the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, the drug thing.

• 52:48Speaker 02

  He also, he used to watch After My Kids sometimes and he pretended to be a pinata. So when they hit him, he would throw candy at him.

• 52:58Speaker 04

  That's fun. That's really fun.

• 53:01Sam Morril?

  That is funny.

• 53:02Mark Normand?

  That's a great friend.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  Well, he and Joey Diaz both were the, for a while, my kids babysitters because they would do it for free.

• 53:10Sam Morril?

  That is hilarious.

• 53:11Mark Normand?

  Your kid's like, cocksucker motherfucker.

• 53:14Mark Normand?

  The worst part though is your kids learn to do this with a fat guy. They see some dude on the subway and they're like, no candy, what the hell? The fat guy's like, what the hell, man? I'm obese.

• 53:25Mark Normand?

  Like, you're ruining my day.

• 53:27Speaker 04

  You're ruining my day.

• 53:29Mark Normand?

  Getting punched by a little kid.

• 53:30Speaker 04

  You are ruining my day.

• 53:35Sam Morril?

  Joey Diaz gave him candy and edibles in it.

• 53:39Mark Normand?

  All right, cocksucker, here you go. He's a Chinese star, motherfucker.

• 53:44Mark Normand?

  What do they call that? Oh, Star of Death.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  Star of Death.

• 53:46Mark Normand?

  Star of Death, yeah.

• 53:47Sam Morril?

  So you guys, you guys have known each other for a long time.

• 53:49Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm, 2011.

• 53:51Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 53:51Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 53:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  When did you move to LA?

• 53:54Speaker 04

  2003.

• 53:56Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 53:57Speaker 02

  What were you doing?

• 53:57Speaker 04

  Twenty-one years.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  What were you doing before Chelsea Lally?

• 54:00Speaker 04

  Uh, I was a journalist. I was an entertainment journalist for eight years. That was my day job.

• 54:06Sam Morril?

  Hmm.

• 54:07Speaker 04

  And so I would write during the day and I started taking Groundlings, like improv classes at night. And I, I started my own group, so we were doing shows around town. And then 2007, I started, uh, in the Belly Room at the Comedy Store.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  And so who saw you to get on that show?

• 54:25Speaker 04

  Joe Coy had seen me do, um, I had this character, a Hooters waitress named Darlene Witherspoon.

• 54:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, that blew up.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  You were her on the show.

• 54:34Speaker 04

  So that was like, uh, I put that on YouTube and it was like early days YouTube.

• 54:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 54:39Speaker 04

  Uh, and he saw it and showed it to Chelsea, but nothing came of it for like a year. And then I submitted a writing packet when they were looking for a new writer. And, um, she remembered me from that.

• 54:53Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, I was trying to get on the roundtable.

• 54:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, right.

• 54:57Speaker 04

  And they would, oh. Darlene Witherspoon.

• 55:03Speaker 02

  Witherspoon, okay.

• 55:04Speaker 04

  Look at that grainy video. It feels like it.

• 55:09Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 55:10Speaker 04

  I was trying to get on the roundtable back then before I was a writer and they, uh, said I was too low energy.

• 55:15Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 55:15Speaker 04

  So I was on the radar, but not, but not enough to be on the show.

• 55:19Sam Morril?

  Do you think you would have been ready if you went on then, or you?

• 55:22Speaker 04

  Probably not. I was still, I was still pretty green. When I, when I submitted the writing packet, I thought, there's no way I'm gonna get this. They had like 300 submissions and they narrowed it down to like 10 of us. And they came, I was more of a sketch performer, even though I was doing, uh, stand-up. I had just done Last Comic Standing. Um, they came to my Groundlings shows, uh, and I didn't know when they hired me, they were kinda hiring me more for sketch. I, and I, cause I had no, even though I was an entertainment journalist, I had no writers. Room experience. So I felt pretty like lacking in the, in the writers room for a while.

• 55:59Mark Normand?

  It's a whole different animal.

• 56:00Speaker 04

  Yeah. And so, and then finally someone pulled me aside and said, we actually, we hired you more for your sketch comedy skills and to be on, on the show more than your writing skills. I was like, thanks for telling.

• 56:14Speaker 02

  The writers room though, like if you've never been in one, even if you're a great writer, it's an intimidating place.

• 56:20Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  To get your joke in.

• 56:22Speaker 04

  They yell jokes.

• 56:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:23Speaker 04

  Over each other. And I don't, I, I was like.

• 56:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:27Speaker 04

  Can't do that. I don't like competing for.

• 56:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's weird.

• 56:31Speaker 04

  Even on the round table, I kind of would like sit, sit, sit, boom. I like, I would always sort of, uh, time out the, the, when to punch in and then I would kind of sit quiet again.

• 56:42Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 56:43Speaker 02

  Well, also on that round table, it depended on who you were there with. Some people were competitive with you.

• 56:49Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 56:49Speaker 02

  And just wanted to get your joke in.

• 56:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:51Speaker 02

  And some people really just wanted it to be more of a conversation and just kind of let it be almost podcasty, let it be. Those are my favorite ones.

• 56:59Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 57:00Speaker 02

  When it was very flowy.

• 57:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:02Speaker 02

  And like a topic would come up, but nobody really, nobody really talked about it.

• 57:07Speaker 04

  And some, and sometimes you would say a joke and then a person would act it out and that was their whole thing was just acting out your jokes.

• 57:18Speaker 04

  You're like, wait a second.

• 57:21Speaker 04

  You're just repeating my joke.

• 57:23Speaker 02

  I just did that in verbal form.

• 57:27Sam Morril?

  That's a fucking pee, by the way, when you say a joke and then someone else, like no one hears it and someone repeats it and they get the laugh.

• 57:33Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 57:34Sam Morril?

  Oh, that's a fucking peeve.

• 57:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:35Sam Morril?

  I think we were on Spade's show together once and it was like, you were, I liked being on with you because you just kind of did your joke. I did my joke. We all kind of like got our lines and it was, it was chill, you know?

• 57:44Speaker 02

  That was a fun show also.

• 57:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, that was fun.

• 57:47Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 57:47Speaker 04

  Cause I don't like them competing with other comics.

• 57:50Mark Normand?

  It's weird.

• 57:51Speaker 04

  I'm like, I want you to have your joke. I'll have my joke. You have your joke. And then everybody, you know, instead of like the person that doesn't shut up.

• 57:58Mark Normand?

  I know, I know. And you ever had a, I've been a few writers rooms. You ever had a joke bomb in a writers room? Boy, that stinks.

• 58:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:06Mark Normand?

  Cause you're amongst your peers and everybody's like, ooh.

• 58:08Speaker 02

  It's even, it's worse when nobody even comments on it.

• 58:11Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 58:12Speaker 02

  They just go right past it. You're like, that bad? Huh? Okay.

• 58:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's the worst.

• 58:16Speaker 02

  I'll tell you what I, you know what I love about Spade and Bargatze, both of them? To me, the way they deliver their jokes, their throwaways are sometimes their best. Like, they're like modern day Bob Newhearts.

• 58:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, completely. Especially Nate.

• 58:29Speaker 02

  Nate especially, where he throw, some of his throwaways are like, that's the best. That's his best, it's crazy. That's such a different way to deliver jokes.

• 58:37Mark Normand?

  I know. And I love that he's so successful, because people kept, they've caught it. They get what he's doing, which is so refreshing.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  It's so different. I don't know anybody else who does anything even close to what he does.

• 58:47Mark Normand?

  No, no, he's great. And he's so prolific. It's insane.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  You mean the amount of?

• 58:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it just pumps it out. Like, a thing will happen to him, and he's got like an eight-minute story on it, and it's killer.

• 58:56Sam Morril?

  It's crazy, yeah. It's, he's setting the bar high.

• 58:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. And clean!

• 59:01Sam Morril?

  It's, the clean part is where I'm like, holy shit. It's like, I can, I can churn it out, but I ain't fucking clean.

• 59:06Mark Normand?

  No, no. And by the way, clean doesn't just mean cursing. It means like, there's no racial, there's no like, uh, sexual innuendo, nothing.

• 59:15Speaker 02

  It's great. It's not, it's clean, but it's not vanilla.

• 59:18Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 59:18Speaker 02

  There's, there's a huge difference between being just like clean. You're like, that's the most boring, uh, non-thought-provoking.

• 59:27Mark Normand?

  A hundred percent.

• 59:27Speaker 02

  It's still great jokes.

• 59:30Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 59:30Speaker 02

  I saw him in Vegas, and his dad opened for him, which was amazing.

• 59:34Sam Morril?

  I heard his dad crushes.

• 59:35Speaker 02

  His dad crushes, and then he, when he was intro, when Nate, he was crying, and I go, that's touching. He goes, he does it every show.

• 59:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  I was like, oh, got it, got it.

• 59:45Mark Normand?

  He hates that Nate's bigger. He's like...

• 59:47Sam Morril?

  He does a Denzel tear. He works it up.

• 59:52Speaker 02

  But Nate opened with 10 minutes of crazy Vegas jokes.

• 59:56Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 59:57Speaker 02

  That, I asked his dad, I'm like, he does this, is it, are these his Vegas jokes? He goes, no, these are new this weekend.

• 1:00:03Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:00:03Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Crushed.

• 1:00:06Mark Normand?

  I saw him at Radio City. He had a punchline. He went, golly. And I was on the floor. That was the punchline. But he makes it, he's so good at making it funny. It's, it's really great.

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  I remember a long time ago... He opened for me at Zany's.

• 1:00:20Mark Normand?

  Oh, boy.

• 1:00:21Speaker 02

  And I was like, this kid's kind of funny. And then at fucking Bridgestone, it's, I'm like, well, he's definitely.

• 1:00:30Speaker 04

  This kid's got something.

• 1:00:32Speaker 02

  My gosh, this kid's onto something.

• 1:00:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Are you in Nashville?

• 1:00:35Speaker 02

  No, I'm in Vegas now.

• 1:00:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, you're in Vegas? Whoa.

• 1:00:38Sam Morril?

  Do you like Vegas?

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  More than any place I've ever lived.

• 1:00:40Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:00:41Sam Morril?

  What is?

• 1:00:42Mark Normand?

  No tax, right?

• 1:00:43Speaker 02

  It's not even that. It's not just the Jew part.

• 1:00:46Mark Normand?

  Ah, I wasn't going there.

• 1:00:48Speaker 04

  That's what you were trying to say.

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  For a little while.

• 1:00:51Mark Normand?

  Oh, sorry.

• 1:00:51Speaker 04

  I know, I was like, he's, he's holding on to that.

• 1:00:54Sam Morril?

  Followed by this. That was kind of weird.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  Followed by the home.

• 1:00:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, but I love it. I have a residency there every Monday night.

• 1:01:04Sam Morril?

  Where at?

• 1:01:05Speaker 02

  At Kimmel's.

• 1:01:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, nice.

• 1:01:07Speaker 02

  And so what I love about performing there every Monday is, okay. It really, Vegas is the one place, especially on a Monday, where I know if a joke works, because when I'm on the road, I'm in front of people that know me and like me. So it's, sometimes it's really hard to tell, is that joke funny?

• 1:01:25Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:01:26Speaker 02

  Or, or they just know me, or they already know my stuff.

• 1:01:28Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  They know, right? But in Vegas, 50% of the people don't know me every show. So when it only, it only hits half the crowd, I'm like, that's a joke for my crowd.

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  But when it hits everybody, I'm like, oh, this joke is funny.

• 1:01:42Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  It's such a great litmus test for me to go out and try all my new shit. And it's a Monday at 7:30.

• 1:01:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  So there's like zero pressure.

• 1:01:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:51Sam Morril?

  We do, we do similar stuff here at the Comedy Cellar, but like I, I was doing my show, My Name Build, and it was going well because they're my people. And I was like, these jokes aren't that good. I know it. So I started doing Unbuild and it was, it's way more productive.

• 1:02:05Mark Normand?

  Way more.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  Because you can tell, you're like, oh, they didn't just laugh because they know my cadence.

• 1:02:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  Or because they know.

• 1:02:11Sam Morril?

  You get away with a lot with that cadence.

• 1:02:13Speaker 04

  That's true.

• 1:02:13Sam Morril?

  They know your rhythm.

• 1:02:14Mark Normand?

  They really do.

• 1:02:15Sam Morril?

  They know you're like, this is where they should laugh.

• 1:02:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:17Speaker 04

  They're on, they're just excited to see you, yeah.

• 1:02:19Mark Normand?

  And they know, if you do a darker joke, they're like, he's not a bad guy. But if it's a new audience and you do a dark joke, they're like,

• 1:02:26Speaker 04

  Bad guy.

• 1:02:27Mark Normand?

  And you're like, no, no, I'm just saying. But they don't know you yet. So you have to like earn that.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  Damon Wayans told me once, when I first got to LA and he was doing a lot of stand-up, he was like, these 15-minute sets are really dicey. I said, why? He goes, because you have a 15 minute grace period as a famous person.

• 1:02:43Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:02:44Speaker 02

  After 15 minutes, the longer sets, if you're not funny, they're, but the 15 minutes, they're just happy to be this close to.

• 1:02:50Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  So sometimes it's really hard to tell what's funny and what they're just laughing because.

• 1:02:56Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:02:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:57Speaker 02

  I'm Damon Wayans.

• 1:02:58Mark Normand?

  He's underrated as a funny guy.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  So underrated.

• 1:03:00Mark Normand?

  I was a huge fan as a kid because he was on TV more.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  But his special, I, I think he's very underrated.

• 1:03:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  No doubt.

• 1:03:08Mark Normand?

  You're still in LA.

• 1:03:09Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 1:03:09Mark Normand?

  How's that going?

• 1:03:10Speaker 04

  It's good.

• 1:03:11Mark Normand?

  Can you get up when you wanted to work on shit?

• 1:03:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, I, my last two tours were just so crazy. I did.

• 1:03:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:18Speaker 04

  Hundred cities, hundred and fifty shows.

• 1:03:20Sam Morril?

  I love that.

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  You did?

• 1:03:21Speaker 04

  Back to back.

• 1:03:22Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:03:23Speaker 04

  In three years.

• 1:03:23Sam Morril?

  You do the bus or do you fly?

• 1:03:24Speaker 04

  I flew everywhere.

• 1:03:25Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 1:03:26Speaker 04

  Well, I fly to like a place on like a Thursday and then drive in between.

• 1:03:30Sam Morril?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:03:31Speaker 04

  Till Sunday and then I fly home.

• 1:03:32Sam Morril?

  You do like runners and stuff?

• 1:03:33Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 1:03:34Sam Morril?

  And it, does it, does it stress you out losing the day or do you leave the night of or how do you do it?

• 1:03:39Speaker 04

  Um, I, if it's a changeover, I leave the night before. If it's direct, I'll leave probably morning of. Um, but, uh, do you mean runners like a sprinter man?

• 1:03:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:50Speaker 04

  No, I rent a car.

• 1:03:51Sam Morril?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:03:51Speaker 04

  It's just me.

• 1:03:52Mark Normand?

  I did the same.

• 1:03:52Speaker 04

  Putting around, yeah. Um, and.

• 1:03:54Speaker 02

  Jacks go everywhere?

• 1:03:55Speaker 04

  Uh, she used to, but that, uh, she got, I wore her out.

• 1:03:59Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:04:01Speaker 04

  As, yeah, I haven't stopped in three years. So I ended my last, the first tour started at the beginning of 21, year and a half. Hundred cities, hundred fifty shows, uh, stopped it.

• 1:04:12Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 1:04:12Speaker 04

  Went to Toronto for five months to film FUBAR, filmed a special in between, came back, had a month off.

• 1:04:19Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 1:04:19Speaker 04

  Started the new act in the clubs, another hundred city, hundred fifty shows, ended in May, was in Toronto for another five months filming.

• 1:04:28Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:04:28Speaker 04

  FUBAR season two.

• 1:04:29Sam Morril?

  How long, how long do you have to stay in Toronto a month?

• 1:04:32Speaker 04

  Five months.

• 1:04:33Mark Normand?

  Five months.

• 1:04:33Speaker 04

  Almost about four and a half.

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  For how many shows is five months?

• 1:04:37Speaker 04

  Eight episodes.

• 1:04:38Sam Morril?

  Is that, that's kind of, so you had to stay there without coming back?

• 1:04:41Speaker 04

  I mean, I would visit here and there, but, and my wife would come out and stay with me at different times. Um, and I would do like some Saturday night, Saturday night shows here and there, but yeah, I got, I just got home at the end of September and I was like, holy cow.

• 1:04:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:55Speaker 04

  So my next tour will start April 1st, like the theaters, but I'm gonna have to do clubs.

• 1:05:01Speaker 02

  I love.

• 1:05:01Speaker 04

  Work up to it.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  I love, love, love how conversational you are.

• 1:05:07Speaker 02

  On stage, like I love watching you.

• 1:05:09Speaker 04

  Oh, thanks.

• 1:05:09Speaker 02

  I love watching you perform. It's so, if you, have you guys seen?

• 1:05:14Mark Normand?

  Seen the specials.

• 1:05:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  It's so, it's so.

• 1:05:18Speaker 04

  Live, I don't do a lot in New York, so.

• 1:05:20Sam Morril?

  Right. I've seen a lot of your stuff.

• 1:05:22Speaker 04

  Thank, yeah, thank you. I, um, yeah, I think for me, I'm just like, let's have a good time, you know, let's just chat and hopefully be funny, you know, and I'm not trying to like, put on this whole like facade or something. It's kind of what you see is what you get. So everything I'm talking about is like stories from my life and talking about, you know, my mom, my wife, just like dumb stuff that's happened to me.

• 1:05:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:46Speaker 04

  Um, but yeah, I think, I think it maybe feels very casual because of my accent and I talk slow. So it feels like we're just kind of moseying on stage. Like, what do you guys want here? Let's talk about something.

• 1:05:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, because it's so relatable. Because it's your life, it makes it conversational.

• 1:06:04Sam Morril?

  Look at that.

• 1:06:04Mark Normand?

  That's great. Is that the Ryman?

• 1:06:05Speaker 04

  The beacon.

• 1:06:06Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:06:08Speaker 04

  The end of this last tour. That was fun.

• 1:06:10Speaker 02

  Is that a vest?

• 1:06:11Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:06:11Speaker 04

  What's that?

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  Is that a vest?

• 1:06:12Mark Normand?

  Like a bowling shirt.

• 1:06:13Speaker 04

  No, it's like a, yeah, it's a bowling shirt.

• 1:06:18Speaker 04

  It's like a Ben shirt, but it definitely looks like a bowling shirt.

• 1:06:22Mark Normand?

  That's a nice shirt.

• 1:06:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, this, this last tour was really cool.

• 1:06:25Sam Morril?

  Like Walter in The Big Lebowski.

• 1:06:29Speaker 04

  That was me dressing up.

• 1:06:32Sam Morril?

  How great is the beacon?

• 1:06:33Speaker 04

  Oh, it was really cool. That one in the Chicago theater were like, uh.

• 1:06:38Mark Normand?

  Just did it.

• 1:06:39Speaker 04

  They were bucket list ones for me.

• 1:06:41Mark Normand?

  Incredible. Top five in the country.

• 1:06:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:43Sam Morril?

  That's so cool.

• 1:06:44Mark Normand?

  Man.

• 1:06:45Sam Morril?

  So how was that show with Arnold? Is that fun?

• 1:06:47Speaker 04

  Really fun, yeah.

• 1:06:48Sam Morril?

  He's a cool guy?

• 1:06:49Speaker 04

  Very cool. Yeah, he's, he loves comedians.

• 1:06:52Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 1:06:52Speaker 04

  Loves, um, loves just like, uh, picking up, like, he likes to, you know, rib people, like his friends and stuff, and they're always, uh, talking smack, but he's a very cool guy. Like, we went to Oktoberfest with him, uh, in Munich.

• 1:07:06Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:07:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, that was really fun.

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  A great person to be.

• 1:07:10Speaker 04

  I know, right? He can't walk three feet without a hundred people descending upon him in Europe. It was wild, but.

• 1:07:17Mark Normand?

  But he fucks with you?

• 1:07:18Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's great.

• 1:07:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, we fucked, no.

• 1:07:23Speaker 04

  No, no, no. No, yeah, he, we're, yeah, we're buddies.

• 1:07:26Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:07:27Speaker 04

  He's super cool.

• 1:07:29Mark Normand?

  Lesbian bed death.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  Was that your Arnold impression?

• 1:07:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I can't do impressions.

• 1:07:35Speaker 04

  Robotic, yes.

• 1:07:36Speaker 02

  I don't know why I went robot.

• 1:07:37Mark Normand?

  I did the Terminator.

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  Now I know why you don't do accents in your act.

• 1:07:44Mark Normand?

  Chill out.

• 1:07:45Speaker 04

  That's always better. That's good, there you go.

• 1:07:47Sam Morril?

  Okay, good try.

• 1:07:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'll do this accent to him all the time. I'll be like, it's Arnold, let's go, come on, get down.

• 1:07:54Speaker 02

  We love this. Beth and I watch the show. It's a lot of fun, man.

• 1:07:57Speaker 04

  It's fun. It's like, you know, one of those shows that it's entertaining.

• 1:08:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:01Speaker 04

  You watch for an hour and you don't think about anything. And yeah, we've just wrapped season two, so that'll come out, I think, in the spring or something.

• 1:08:07Sam Morril?

  Oh, nice.

• 1:08:08Speaker 04

  I'm like, I get to do like, I'm a CIA agent. I mean, who would have thought?

• 1:08:12Sam Morril?

  And you work with Arnold.

• 1:08:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, it's wild. I'm like, shooting guns and running from explosions.

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  You also get to be a little more sarcastic.

• 1:08:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  And a bit of, that's different than other things that you've got to do.

• 1:08:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm hitting guys in the nutsack.

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's very bro-y. My, my character's very bro-y.

• 1:08:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:31Speaker 04

  Um, but I love it just because it's so different. I was doing sitcoms before that, my family. So it was such a departure to get to like, be shooting guns and in that action kind of world.

• 1:08:43Sam Morril?

  Are you good with a gun in real life?

• 1:08:44Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:08:47Speaker 04

  I am not.

• 1:08:48Sam Morril?

  Either's Alec Baldwin, it's not him.

• 1:08:49Speaker 04

  Oh, no.

• 1:08:50Speaker 02

  Or he's really good.

• 1:08:51Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  Look at it, yeah.

• 1:08:53Mark Normand?

  There you go, hole in one.

• 1:08:57Mark Normand?

  Wait.

• 1:08:59Mark Normand?

  Sorry.

• 1:09:00Sam Morril?

  Apparently those tickets are flying off the shelf.

• 1:09:02Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:09:02Sam Morril?

  Rust.

• 1:09:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:09:04Sam Morril?

  People want to see it.

• 1:09:05Speaker 04

  Oh, is it coming out?

• 1:09:06Sam Morril?

  I think so. Let's pull it up.

• 1:09:07Speaker 04

  Oh, I didn't know that.

• 1:09:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, I'd like to see it, just for that one scene. Very realistic.

• 1:09:12Sam Morril?

  You have to wait till the end. It's one of the bloopers.

• 1:09:13Speaker 04

  We, we did go to this, uh, we went to this, uh, charity event at Luke Bryan's and they had, you could, um, they had like a little mini shooting range with these professionals. Everything was very, uh, well done. And I, my wife gets up there. It's one of these guns that shoots from like, you know, a shit ton far away.

• 1:09:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:35Speaker 04

  And she's just, there's five targets and she goes, "Pew, pew." I'm like, what is this? Like, she just nailed all five in a row.

• 1:09:44Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:09:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:45Speaker 02

  Just to show you that if you ever leave, it doesn't matter how far away you get.

• 1:09:49Speaker 04

  She, she did not miss five in a row.

• 1:09:52Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 1:09:52Speaker 04

  And this was a long target.

• 1:09:54Mark Normand?

  A lesbian shooter, she's got to go to the WNBA.

• 1:09:57Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:10:00Mark Normand?

  Sorry.

• 1:10:00Speaker 04

  Thank, no, no, that was a good one.

• 1:10:05Sam Morril?

  Oh dude, I just saw this movie, I gotta wreck it. It's called A Different Man. Have you heard of this?

• 1:10:09Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:10:10Sam Morril?

  With Sebastian Stan and Adam Pearson. Have you heard of this shit? Look at this guy, Adam Pearson. He's got this face disorder.

• 1:10:16Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 1:10:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's his real face.

• 1:10:18Mark Normand?

  Holy Moses!

• 1:10:20Sam Morril?

  Dude, it's-

• 1:10:20Speaker 04

  I've not heard of this.

• 1:10:23Mark Normand?

  Sorry.

• 1:10:25Speaker 04

  You guys.

• 1:10:26Mark Normand?

  Got it!

• 1:10:28Sam Morril?

  No dude, this movie, this guy, Adam Pearson, is incredible in the movie.

• 1:10:32Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 1:10:33Speaker 02

  Which one's Adam Pearson?

• 1:10:35Mark Normand?

  That guy.

• 1:10:35Speaker 02

  Right, I got it.

• 1:10:36Sam Morril?

  And then, uh, yeah, yeah, it's a good-

• 1:10:39Mark Normand?

  The Trump one?

• 1:10:40Sam Morril?

  He's played Trump in a movie too.

• 1:10:42Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 1:10:43Sam Morril?

  It's called A Different Man. It's weird. It's like an 824 movie.

• 1:10:46Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 1:10:47Speaker 02

  What's that condition called?

• 1:10:49Sam Morril?

  Neurofibromas something. Pull it up. I don't know. It's-

• 1:10:52Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:10:54Sam Morril?

  It's-

• 1:10:54Speaker 02

  By the way, if you go in and audition for that role, you either got it or you don't. There's no like, "Well, let's see him again."

• 1:11:01Speaker 04

  Says benign tumors appear on your face.

• 1:11:03Speaker 03

  Neurofibromas.

• 1:11:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but a lot of people have it and it's not that severe at all. Like, you won't even know they have it, but he has- And his brother's his twin and he looks totally different.

• 1:11:13Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 1:11:14Sam Morril?

  He looks totally-

• 1:11:14Speaker 04

  It says soft pea-sized bumps under the skin.

• 1:11:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:18Speaker 04

  So maybe for some people, it's under the skin, it doesn't surface.

• 1:11:21Sam Morril?

  But it's worth checking out the movie. It's pretty cool.

• 1:11:24Mark Normand?

  Is it, it's got a sad story?

• 1:11:26Sam Morril?

  No, it's a dark comedy.

• 1:11:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow! Alright. Ah, jeez. Alright, I'm eating here. Good lord!

• 1:11:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah, so it's, yeah.

• 1:11:35Mark Normand?

  That looks like me when I'm hungover.

• 1:11:36Sam Morril?

  You guys have any peeves?

• 1:11:37Mark Normand?

  I got one.

• 1:11:39Sam Morril?

  What do you got?

• 1:11:39Mark Normand?

  I was in a restaurant the other night with the wife. We're having a nice romantic dinner. She's pregnant, so I'm trying to really-

• 1:11:45Speaker 04

  Oh, I didn't know that. Congrats!

• 1:11:47Mark Normand?

  Seven months.

• 1:11:48Speaker 04

  That's exciting.

• 1:11:48Mark Normand?

  Thank you. It's not mine.

• 1:11:52Speaker 04

  Maury?

• 1:11:55Mark Normand?

  You don't know me. Alright, so, uh, we go to this nice dinner and all the tables are taken. I forgot to make a res. And I go, "Well, sit at the bar." So we sit at the bar, we're eating at the bar, and we're chit-chatting, and the waitress, I mean, the bartender walks over, this nice lady, she goes, "I was eavesdropping. I gotta say this, this, this, and this." And I'm like, "What is that? You're just listening to our conversation?"

• 1:12:17Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, that's weird.

• 1:12:18Mark Normand?

  "You're spying on us? And then you try to make it a cute thing, like, 'Oh, I gotta, I was eavesdropping, I can answer that question.'" And I'm like, "Well, what else did you hear?" You know, the N-word, who knows?

• 1:12:29Speaker 04

  You know how you get at a bar?

• 1:12:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:33Mark Normand?

  Foo bar. "I don't care for this, I was eavesdropping," like,

• 1:12:36Sam Morril?

  I was listening.

• 1:12:37Mark Normand?

  "I'm spying on you."

• 1:12:38Sam Morril?

  Eavesdropping's a sweet way to say, "I was listening."

• 1:12:41Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes!

• 1:12:42Speaker 04

  And maybe if they're gonna say, like, say one thing that you heard, but not like,

• 1:12:46Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:12:48Speaker 04

  Things that you heard.

• 1:12:50Sam Morril?

  That's a good peeve.

• 1:12:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:51Mark Normand?

  I don't like it.

• 1:12:52Speaker 02

  I'll give you a restaurant peeve.

• 1:12:53Mark Normand?

  Please.

• 1:12:55Speaker 02

  When you, if I sit down at a table, and you take that dirty rag that's wet out of the dirty bucket, and you wipe my table, and then you don't dry it off, so it's just covered with the wet, dirty water.

• 1:13:09Speaker 04

  That is gross.

• 1:13:10Speaker 02

  I fucking hate that.

• 1:13:12Speaker 04

  But we're still gonna eat there.

• 1:13:13Speaker 02

  I'm gonna eat there.

• 1:13:14Speaker 04

  We're gonna eat there, but it's gross.

• 1:13:15Speaker 02

  But I'm gonna dry it off with my napkin. But that one, to me, is...

• 1:13:18Speaker 04

  I mean, if we're, if it's a restaurant situation, another one is if you walk in without a reservation, there's like 20 empty tables, and they're like, "Do you have a reservation?" I'm like,

• 1:13:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:30Speaker 04

  "Really, what?" And then they're like, "Hmm."

• 1:13:34Speaker 02

  Full sit.

• 1:13:34Speaker 04

  "Where are we gonna sit?"

• 1:13:37Speaker 04

  And then it's like the tiny ass table on the corner where you're like this, and you're like, "There's like 20 booths here."

• 1:13:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah, no, that's a good one.

• 1:13:46Speaker 04

  I don't know what that's about.

• 1:13:47Mark Normand?

  I've, I've used to be a waiter, and I could answer that.

• 1:13:50Speaker 04

  Okay, what is that?

• 1:13:51Mark Normand?

  But it's just because either they're short-staffed and they can't handle that many tables,

• 1:13:55Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:13:55Mark Normand?

  Or there's sections. So this girl's got six tables, I've got five, but you see four empty, and people are like, "What the hell?" And you're like, "If I take that table, it'll take me an hour to get to you."

• 1:14:04Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 1:14:05Mark Normand?

  But, it's still annoying.

• 1:14:06Speaker 04

  Right. Alright.

• 1:14:08Mark Normand?

  Trying to shit on your peeve.

• 1:14:08Speaker 04

  No, I'm glad, I'm glad to see the other side of it, thank you.

• 1:14:13Sam Morril?

  That's a peeve, people making sense out of my peeve. I got a peeve too. You ever have a conversation with someone and then you get away and as you're away, they try to rope you back?

• 1:14:24Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:14:26Sam Morril?

  I'm halfway down the hallway and he's like, "Well, there's another thing." I'm like, "I'm by the elevator." I was like, "I was this close to getting out." And he was like, something about the Knicks, he was like, "When does this guy come back?" And I'm like, "I..."

• 1:14:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, that happens at parties too.

• 1:14:39Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:14:39Speaker 04

  You've finally gotten out of a conversation, you're like, "Oh, well, I guess I should check on the sliders over here." And then you meet again at the sliders and you're like, "Oh, my God."

• 1:14:49Speaker 02

  I just tried to walk away from you.

• 1:14:52Mark Normand?

  That was my out.

• 1:14:53Speaker 02

  I just didn't want to say, "I'm trying to walk away from you to your face."

• 1:14:56Speaker 04

  Now we're back in.

• 1:14:57Sam Morril?

  Sometimes, this is when I'm trying to avoid, like, there's a great Seinfeld episode where George said when he's just not working, just always act annoyed and people think you're busy. I will do that to myself. I'll like walk in, I'll just be like, "Oh, good." I'll just, I'll pull the door.

• 1:15:11Mark Normand?

  That's good, that's good.

• 1:15:12Sam Morril?

  The George is the move.

• 1:15:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'll do a fake phone call. "What the fuck? 9/11?"

• 1:15:18Mark Normand?

  No one stops you.

• 1:15:18Sam Morril?

  She's pregnant. "What the fuck?" Oh, my God, I got it.

• 1:15:25Speaker 04

  I just did a little part in a movie with Will Ferrell that is coming out, I think in January. And we were filming in Atlanta and we went to the bar at the hotel. And there was like no one in there when we got there, maybe like two people. And then all of a sudden, within 30 minutes, there were like 50 people staring at Will.

• 1:15:45Sam Morril?

  Sure.

• 1:15:45Speaker 04

  He's a very popular guy. But it was so funny because he was like, once dinner was finished, he's like, "How am I gonna get out of here?" Because all these people were just like staring at him. So he picks up his phone, he goes, "What's that? What happened to your cat? Oh, no. I gotta take this." He walks out going, "Your cat? Oh, my God." And so all these people were like, but he's like, "I can't, I'm on the phone." I was like, "Oh, that was a good one."

• 1:16:13Mark Normand?

  That was great.

• 1:16:14Speaker 02

  You see the doc that was on Netflix with him and his friend?

• 1:16:18Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:16:19Speaker 02

  That was fan-

• 1:16:20Mark Normand?

  I heard it's great. I haven't seen it. Jim and Carol.

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  What was it called?

• 1:16:25Speaker 04

  Will and Harper.

• 1:16:26Mark Normand?

  Will and Harper.

• 1:16:27Sam Morril?

  It's incredible.

• 1:16:28Speaker 04

  It's really good.

• 1:16:29Sam Morril?

  Is that a rec?

• 1:16:31Mark Normand?

  That's a rec, baby.

• 1:16:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was so good. But there's a scene in that where they go to a restaurant. The two of them, but they're in Texas, man.

• 1:16:40Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:16:41Speaker 02

  And, um.

• 1:16:43Speaker 04

  Well, cause Will's friend is trans and so the journey was like kind of relearning who my friend is as a trans person and understanding the world and just like sort of reconnecting his friends and trying to learn and ask questions.

• 1:16:56Speaker 02

  And as, as his trans friend as a man, used to take these trips across country.

• 1:17:03Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:17:03Speaker 02

  And she wanted to know if it was still, and she liked those small.

• 1:17:06Speaker 04

  Still safe to do so, yeah.

• 1:17:07Speaker 02

  She liked going to little tiny rodeos and small diners and dive bars.

• 1:17:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:12Speaker 02

  But she wanted to know if it was still safe for her to do that.

• 1:17:15Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:17:16Speaker 02

  As a trans woman. And they sat in this restaurant. And Will Ferrell said.

• 1:17:22Speaker 04

  Well, he, so Will, he did a bit where he dressed as Sherlock Holmes.

• 1:17:26Speaker 02

  That was it.

• 1:17:27Speaker 04

  Thinking it would be funny.

• 1:17:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:29Speaker 04

  In the restaurant. And, um, and they sat them in like a table in the middle of everyone and, uh, the, the hate coming their way was palpable.

• 1:17:38Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:17:39Speaker 04

  And Will, you could see him in, in this crazy costume, realizing like the reality of the situation and that being silly and funny wasn't.

• 1:17:50Speaker 02

  He even said that after we said, I've been in the public eye forever. I've never felt more stared at.

• 1:17:57Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:17:57Speaker 02

  It was a great, it was a great, it was a really cool story.

• 1:18:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:00Mark Normand?

  That would be funny if they came up and they're like, we don't hate her. We're more mad about Blades of Glory.

• 1:18:07Mark Normand?

  Semi Pro sucked, but damn, that's crazy.

• 1:18:11Speaker 02

  Funny.

• 1:18:12Mark Normand?

  That is very funny. I do too. I needed an example. Talladega Nights was great as well.

• 1:18:19Sam Morril?

  It's hard to pull bad ones.

• 1:18:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Semi Pro was, was forced.

• 1:18:23Sam Morril?

  Semi Pro was not my fave and we watched it on the tour bus last year.

• 1:18:26Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:27Sam Morril?

  We all kind of got a pick and James, who directed my special was like, you guys are gonna love Semi Pro's basketball. And Vida and I kind of looked at each other like. You lost a lot of credibility.

• 1:18:39Sam Morril?

  I love Will Ferrell, but it's just not, it's a lot of misses in that one.

• 1:18:42Mark Normand?

  Saw him on the street about a month ago on Bleecker Street and he was full jogging, he had the jogging shorts, the sneakers on, the, the, the tank top and he was just getting astride and I went, "Will!" And he went. And that was it.

• 1:18:55Speaker 04

  He's gotta be so, I mean, he's gotta be one of the most recognized people, right?

• 1:18:59Mark Normand?

  He's tall, curly hair, yeah, big guy.

• 1:19:01Sam Morril?

  I was in LA for like, just a week last time I was there and I, I was staying downtown and you got access to that Equinox in the hotel, so I was just in there and it's like fucking Will Ferrell. I was like, this is the most.

• 1:19:11Mark Normand?

  Whoa, crazy.

• 1:19:14Speaker 02

  He seems like the type of dude, and I don't know him at all, but that would, is gonna say hello if you say hello.

• 1:19:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's so nice.

• 1:19:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he gave me a.

• 1:19:23Sam Morril?

  How was the movie you were doing with him, was that fun?

• 1:19:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, I only did a, I was only there for a few days, um, it's him and Reese Witherspoon.

• 1:19:31Speaker 02

  Did you get to, in, in the scene, did you have a scene with him?

• 1:19:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, I got to, we got to improv, improvise quite a bit. I'm only in like, two scenes I think, but, and probably a lot of that is on the cutting room floor, but it was just so cool to like, sit there and bounce stuff off of him.

• 1:19:46Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:19:46Speaker 02

  How does he work with that? Do you, do you do it as written first and then you're like, hey, let's just fuck around?

• 1:19:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, do it as written first and then just kinda go nuts, a couple takes.

• 1:19:57Speaker 02

  That's gotta be a dream.

• 1:19:58Speaker 04

  But you know, he plays those very serious characters, so it's kinda, you have to try not to break, cause he's just looking at you like, very intensely, but he's so fun and cool and I was like, uh, coming from the gym when he was going to set and he rolled his window down and stuck his head out the window and was like, "I'll see you later." He's just like.

• 1:20:20Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 1:20:21Speaker 04

  There's always bits, you know, this is, he's just fun.

• 1:20:24Mark Normand?

  Funniest scenes of all time.

• 1:20:25Sam Morril?

  He's one of the best characters ever.

• 1:20:27Speaker 04

  Oh, is that Eastbound and Down?

• 1:20:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:31Speaker 05

  I know I can, I can feel it all the way down in my plums.

• 1:20:34Speaker 04

  Right, plums.

• 1:20:37Speaker 05

  The light blue hue to them, fresh and juicy red fruit.

• 1:20:47Speaker 05

  That plum looks good. You could I trade it for your Twinkie? No, these are mine.

• 1:20:52Speaker 04

  Craig's just trying to crack up.

• 1:20:54Mark Normand?

  None of this is written. He's just going.

• 1:20:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, for sure.

• 1:20:57Sam Morril?

  Putting him in an R rated scenario is almost unfair. Like, how do you just keep a straight face?

• 1:21:02Speaker 04

  Talladega Nights was...

• 1:21:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, brilliant.

• 1:21:05Speaker 04

  Going to pray to the baby Jesus.

• 1:21:08Mark Normand?

  I saw Anchorman in college with friends at the theater. It blew our faces off.

• 1:21:12Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:21:13Sam Morril?

  I miss that experience. I know, like, part of it is...

• 1:21:15Speaker 02

  The theater experience?

• 1:21:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I know part of it is why we're all able to sell tickets on the road. So you gotta be grateful that people are coming to see Stand Up. But like, I do kinda miss...

• 1:21:22Speaker 04

  I do. I miss that too.

• 1:21:23Sam Morril?

  I remember seeing The Hangover in the theater, being like, "This was fucking awesome."

• 1:21:26Mark Normand?

  Amazing.

• 1:21:26Speaker 02

  What do you think was the hardest you've laughed in a theater? Do you remember?

• 1:21:31Mark Normand?

  Yes. Wow, I don't want to cut you off.

• 1:21:33Speaker 02

  No, what was yours?

• 1:21:34Mark Normand?

  I saw American Pie, which is not the funniest movie of all time, but I saw it in a black theater, and it was insane. It was like, the commentary was killing more than the movie, and we were all in for it. You know, like, when they showed the pie that was all mangled from fucking it, and some black guy yelled, "Damn, he tore that shit up!" And I mean, popcorn flew in the air, everybody was dying. It was, it was the funniest thing.

• 1:21:59Sam Morril?

  Why has there not been black Mystery Science Theater?

• 1:22:01Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 1:22:02Sam Morril?

  That's a, that's a million dollar idea right there.

• 1:22:05Mark Normand?

  That's brilliant.

• 1:22:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:07Mark Normand?

  I love it.

• 1:22:09Speaker 02

  I think Tropic Thunder.

• 1:22:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, that was a big one, big.

• 1:22:11Speaker 02

  Tropic Thunder, those first fifteen minutes in the movie trailers.

• 1:22:15Sam Morril?

  That was big.

• 1:22:16Speaker 02

  Was like...

• 1:22:17Mark Normand?

  Huge.

• 1:22:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:22:18Speaker 02

  Crazy funny.

• 1:22:19Speaker 04

  Zoolander 1 killed me.

• 1:22:21Mark Normand?

  Zoolander 1's unreal.

• 1:22:22Speaker 04

  That was unbelievable. And for a, a female comic, Bridesmaids killed me.

• 1:22:27Mark Normand?

  Big.

• 1:22:27Speaker 04

  That was a good one in the theater.

• 1:22:29Sam Morril?

  I love that one. I'll say, there's something about Mary.

• 1:22:32Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:22:32Sam Morril?

  And, because I was a kid, and like, all those dirty jokes kill me.

• 1:22:35Mark Normand?

  Frank's a bitch.

• 1:22:36Sam Morril?

  And, yeah, incredible. And so many jokes. But, uh, there's a weird one, but Nutty Professor.

• 1:22:42Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 1:22:43Sam Morril?

  I saw it with my dad.

• 1:22:44Speaker 04

  Hercules?

• 1:22:46Sam Morril?

  During that fart scene, my dad, I watched my dad, who's like a polished lawyer, losing his shit. Eddie Murphy just farting as multiple characters. I'm like, "This is fucking crazy."

• 1:22:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:55Speaker 02

  I think the, the, the... The craziest theater, two craziest theater experiences I ever had. One was Blair Witch. Because we had never seen anything like it, and you walked out of there like, wait, was that? What did we just watch?

• 1:23:09Speaker 04

  Real, yeah.

• 1:23:09Speaker 02

  But also the same thing was the first Jackass.

• 1:23:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, great one.

• 1:23:13Sam Morril?

  That's a big laugh.

• 1:23:14Speaker 02

  We, we were in there, like, and we had never seen anything like it, and that first opening scene with them just punching each other in the face was just like... The whole theater on both of those was such a huge... But Blair Witch walking out of there, people didn't know if they were supposed to like it, if they were supposed to be worried. The, that type of shooting had never, we had never seen before.

• 1:23:36Mark Normand?

  It's similar to comedy. It's very, it's a big reaction from the audience. You're, you're on the edge of your seat. I saw Borat in the theater, and it was, when he ran through naked with the fat guy, oh man, the place went nuts.

• 1:23:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:49Sam Morril?

  Maybe it'll come back. I don't know.

• 1:23:50Mark Normand?

  And then you talked about the movies. Remember after Some About Mary was like, you see Some About Mary? How about that scene, that scene when they zipped it up, and oh, that was crazy, and then the, the Brett Favre showed up at the end.

• 1:24:00Sam Morril?

  When was the last time you quoted a movie to a friend?

• 1:24:02Mark Normand?

  Exactly. Those days are over.

• 1:24:04Speaker 04

  I know, that's a bummer though, because that shared experience made the movie even funnier.

• 1:24:09Mark Normand?

  Yes. Well, now we have memes.

• 1:24:10Speaker 02

  Comedies aren't bringing people to the theater. You got, it's gotta be like a $200 million dollar.

• 1:24:14Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:24:15Speaker 04

  It's gotta be, if it's com- if it's gonna have comedy, then it has to have action in it.

• 1:24:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but don't, are you sick of seeing the same fucking trailer again and again?

• 1:24:23Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, of course.

• 1:24:24Sam Morril?

  How many times are they gonna make the husband and wife who both kick ass movies?

• 1:24:27Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:24:28Sam Morril?

  It's like, alright, we get it. You guys are like former assassins. I've seen this 400 fucking times, this trailer.

• 1:24:34Mark Normand?

  Go back to the old ways, where the husband would beat the wife. That was a movie.

• 1:24:38Speaker 04

  Oh, we all missed those.

• 1:24:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:40Speaker 02

  Or the old sitcoms where it was like, how'd that fat dude get that beautiful? Like, it was always so like, that's just the most unbelievable.

• 1:24:48Speaker 04

  That's still happening.

• 1:24:50Speaker 02

  This is what I don't believe. Yeah, there you go.

• 1:24:54Mark Normand?

  He's a UPS driver and he's bagging this hot Italian broad.

• 1:24:57Speaker 02

  There's a 0% chance that that's happening.

• 1:24:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:59Sam Morril?

  Damn, RIP Jerry Stiller.

• 1:25:01Mark Normand?

  Ahhh.

• 1:25:02Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 1:25:02Mark Normand?

  Shit.

• 1:25:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:04Mark Normand?

  RIP Aliyah Remini's Scientology career.

• 1:25:07Speaker 04

  Remini.

• 1:25:08Speaker 02

  Remini.

• 1:25:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, sorry.

• 1:25:09Speaker 04

  Remini.

• 1:25:11Mark Normand?

  I've only read it, I've never heard it that loud.

• 1:25:14Sam Morril?

  That was a fucking aggressive fact.

• 1:25:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:25:17Speaker 04

  You're like, that's not her name, that's not, pronounce her name.

• 1:25:19Speaker 02

  He sounded offended. That's not how you say it.

• 1:25:21Mark Normand?

  He's a dirty guinea.

• 1:25:24Speaker 02

  Is there any other kind?

• 1:25:26Mark Normand?

  It's greasy and it's dirty. They go both ways.

• 1:25:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:33Mark Normand?

  Alright, I think we gotta wrap this thing up.

• 1:25:34Sam Morril?

  Plug some, you both have new specials out.

• 1:25:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:38Sam Morril?

  Where can we find you guys, not just specials, but tour dates?

• 1:25:41Speaker 02

  Go ahead, Fortune.

• 1:25:42Speaker 04

  Uh, I, my third hour on Netflix just premiered, uh, December 3rd. It was called, it's called Crushing It. Um, I wear a pink suit. I mean, come on, that's reason enough to tune in.

• 1:25:55Mark Normand?

  You gotta watch.

• 1:25:56Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, so that one's really fun. Check that out on Netflix. Um, and yeah, I'm starting a whole new tour, so I'm in club dates right now, kinda just working out material, and then the theaters start April 1st, so.

• 1:26:09Mark Normand?

  Hell yeah.

• 1:26:09Sam Morril?

  Look at all these dates.

• 1:26:10Speaker 04

  fortunefeimster.com.

• 1:26:11Mark Normand?

  Ooh, Alabama.

• 1:26:12Speaker 02

  Maybe I should've gone first.

• 1:26:16Speaker 04

  But definitely watch my special.

• 1:26:17Mark Normand?

  Watch?

• 1:26:18Speaker 04

  Just cuz I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm not funny, you guys.

• 1:26:21Mark Normand?

  Well, lesbians are funny.

• 1:26:23Speaker 04

  Lesbians don't count, I was female.

• 1:26:28Speaker 02

  I, um, my special's on YouTube. I've always put my specials on.

• 1:26:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you're a pioneer.

• 1:26:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:34Sam Morril?

  When I, before I put my first special on YouTube, my agent was like, you should see what Josh.

• 1:26:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, same.

• 1:26:39Speaker 02

  You and I talked on the phone.

• 1:26:40Mark Normand?

  We did.

• 1:26:40Speaker 02

  You were like, what do you think about putting it on YouTube?

• 1:26:42Mark Normand?

  I was intrigued by it.

• 1:26:43Speaker 02

  Um, so my, this special is actually, I'm so proud of it because I, here's a couple things that I wanna do different. I, I didn't do any wide shots. The people coming in didn't know, most of them, that it was a special.

• 1:26:56Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:26:57Speaker 04

  Oh wow, really?

• 1:26:58Speaker 02

  I wanted it to feel pretty, pretty authentic to a comedy show experience. All close up, right? And I didn't... Edit. This is one-

• 1:27:08Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:27:09Speaker 02

  Okay, so I had to kick somebody out.

• 1:27:11Mark Normand?

  Ohhh.

• 1:27:12Speaker 02

  I kept it in.

• 1:27:13Mark Normand?

  Nice.

• 1:27:13Speaker 02

  I kept all of, I kept everything in because I wanted it to feel like a real authentic show. And I did exactly how-

• 1:27:22Sam Morril?

  The owner stiffed you at the end, you kept that in?

• 1:27:24Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:27:25Mark Normand?

  Will Smith slapped you.

• 1:27:27Speaker 02

  I, I, I, um, and I did, I did something, look, it's called four stories because I tell long stories.

• 1:27:35Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:27:35Speaker 02

  And so I wanted it, my, my, my people were like, you can't just tell four stories. I'm like, but this is what I-

• 1:27:41Mark Normand?

  Ah, fuck your people.

• 1:27:42Speaker 02

  So I, I, I did-

• 1:27:44Mark Normand?

  Do what you do, man.

• 1:27:45Speaker 02

  But it's four stories. If you like stories and that's the kind of comedy you like, this is a great special, man.

• 1:27:51Sam Morril?

  Awesome. Check it out.

• 1:27:52Speaker 02

  And so four stories comedy.

• 1:27:54Mark Normand?

  Your old stuff is like 18 million, it's crazy views before anyone else was getting those numbers.

• 1:28:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, man, I, I, well, I appreciate that. And I'm, I'm all over on the road and I'm, I tour with my son now.

• 1:28:05Mark Normand?

  Woo!

• 1:28:06Speaker 02

  And he opens for me.

• 1:28:07Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:28:08Speaker 02

  It's, it, listen-

• 1:28:09Speaker 04

  Keeping that money and that family.

• 1:28:11Speaker 02

  That's right, dude, I take 10%.

• 1:28:16Speaker 02

  But it's so much fun. He opens, he tells stories about me. I do my stand-up. And because so much of my stories have been about him in the past, he, he and I do a Q and A.

• 1:28:27Speaker 04

  I love that.

• 1:28:28Speaker 02

  It's a ton of fun.

• 1:28:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:28:29Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:28:29Speaker 02

  So, yeah, it's been, this is the most fun I've ever had on stage, just traveling around with him. It's-

• 1:28:33Mark Normand?

  How, how old is he?

• 1:28:34Speaker 02

  He's 27.

• 1:28:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, he's 27?

• 1:28:36Speaker 02

  I got five grandkids, dude.

• 1:28:37Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 1:28:38Speaker 04

  I know, can you believe it?

• 1:28:39Mark Normand?

  Ooh, you're white.

• 1:28:40Sam Morril?

  You're a fucking gilf.

• 1:28:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:44Speaker 04

  He sure is.

• 1:28:45Mark Normand?

  Wow, that's crazy.

• 1:28:47Speaker 04

  Hottie toddy grandpa over there.

• 1:28:48Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:28:49Mark Normand?

  That's insane.

• 1:28:51Speaker 02

  But, but, yeah, yeah, but it's a ton of fun. If you, like, and the show right-

• 1:28:54Speaker 04

  Oh, you're talking about, oh, his wife is hot too. She's-

• 1:28:57Mark Normand?

  Pull her up?

• 1:28:57Speaker 04

  She's definitely-

• 1:28:58Sam Morril?

  You guys are both keeping it fucking together. It's crazy.

• 1:29:01Mark Normand?

  How do you do it? What's the secret?

• 1:29:02Speaker 02

  Um, I-

• 1:29:04Speaker 04

  You work out?

• 1:29:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I work out. I, I live in, uh-

• 1:29:07Speaker 04

  You eat right?

• 1:29:07Speaker 02

  And Vegas is so stress-free.

• 1:29:10Mark Normand?

  Sober.

• 1:29:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, look at, look at her.

• 1:29:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I've never heard about anyone being stressed in Vegas.

• 1:29:15Speaker 02

  Well, I don't get, I'm not a, I don't get-

• 1:29:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, you guys-

• 1:29:18Mark Normand?

  Holy moses!

• 1:29:19Speaker 04

  Jeez, that's hot.

• 1:29:20Mark Normand?

  Hubba hubba!

• 1:29:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:21Mark Normand?

  DSL.

• 1:29:23Speaker 02

  And she-

• 1:29:25Mark Normand?

  Well done. Jeez. That's unbelievable.

• 1:29:31Mark Normand?

  Kudos.

• 1:29:32Speaker 02

  She's also a writer-director, man.

• 1:29:34Mark Normand?

  I don't care.

• 1:29:35Speaker 02

  She's got a movie set up on Netflix right now.

• 1:29:37Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 1:29:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, so with the DSL.

• 1:29:40Mark Normand?

  You got that right.

• 1:29:41Speaker 02

  Thank you very much.

• 1:29:42Mark Normand?

  Mama Sita.

• 1:29:43Sam Morril?

  All over the road.

• 1:29:44Speaker 04

  Mama Sita.

• 1:29:45Sam Morril?

  Josh Wolf Comedy.

• 1:29:46Speaker 02

  ComedianJoshWolf.com.

• 1:29:48Sam Morril?

  JoshWolf.com.

• 1:29:48Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:29:49Sam Morril?

  Check him out all over the road.

• 1:29:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and Four Stories is a special. I'm going back to the clubs as well to polish this hour. Houston Improv, Dallas Improv, Phoenix Stand Up Live, then we're doing the Ryman. Hey, that's in Nashville.

• 1:30:04Speaker 02

  Great theater.

• 1:30:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm excited about that one.

• 1:30:06Sam Morril?

  One of the best in the world.

• 1:30:07Mark Normand?

  Hopefully can sell that out. Then the baby's coming, so I'm taking off.

• 1:30:10Speaker 04

  Oh, how long are you taking off?

• 1:30:12Mark Normand?

  I'll probably take like two months.

• 1:30:13Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:30:13Mark Normand?

  Really get to know that drug rat.

• 1:30:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, spend a little time with your...

• 1:30:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, two months.

• 1:30:18Speaker 04

  Not your child.

• 1:30:20Sam Morril?

  A few clubs to warm up for theaters here. We got San Antonio, January 3rd and 4th, then we got Liberty Township, Ohio. Then we got Pittsburgh in January, and then it's all theaters pretty much here on out. We're going, you know, Charlotte, Richmond, D.C., Bethlehem, on and on. But Austin, Dallas, Tulsa, Houston. Samrel.com/shows. I'm coming to your city, and if you don't see it there now, it'll be in the fall, but...

• 1:30:44Speaker 02

  I love the Tabernacle.

• 1:30:45Sam Morril?

  Oh, so good.

• 1:30:46Mark Normand?

  Great room.

• 1:30:46Sam Morril?

  Atlanta rules. I love, yeah.

• 1:30:48Mark Normand?

  I love it.

• 1:30:48Sam Morril?

  So many great cities that I'm hitting, so I can't wait to come. Buy Bodega Cat Whiskey, bodeagacatwhiskey.com. People are loving it. We're making waves.

• 1:30:56Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:30:57Sam Morril?

  Peter Luger Steakhouse.

• 1:30:58Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 1:30:59Sam Morril?

  Strip House.

• 1:31:00Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 1:31:00Sam Morril?

  Fucking everywhere.

• 1:31:01Speaker 04

  You are. Nice.

• 1:31:02Sam Morril?

  So...

• 1:31:02Speaker 04

  Is it in here?

• 1:31:03Sam Morril?

  It's here, yeah.

• 1:31:04Speaker 04

  It's in the Paper Plains.

• 1:31:05Sam Morril?

  Yes, you're drinking it.

• 1:31:06Mark Normand?

  You gotta believe it.

• 1:31:07Speaker 04

  Not as tasty, y'all.

• 1:31:07Mark Normand?

  It's in you.

• 1:31:08Speaker 04

  It's in me right now.

• 1:31:10Sam Morril?

  Comedy Cellar is going through like 15, 20 cases a week of this shit.

• 1:31:13Speaker 04

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 1:31:14Mark Normand?

  Selling out.

• 1:31:15Sam Morril?

  We're cooking with this, so...

• 1:31:16Speaker 04

  Good job, guys.

• 1:31:17Sam Morril?

  Love you guys for getting it, and yeah, check out Fortune and Josh's stuff. Both very funny people, and keep listening to the pod.

• 1:31:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:25Speaker 04

  Thanks for having us.

• 1:31:26Mark Normand?

  You're a lesbian with the U-Haul.

• 1:31:27Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 1:31:28Mark Normand?

  You're back in the bus. Jew-haul.

• 1:31:31Sam Morril?

  On that note.

• 1:31:34Mark Normand?

  We'll be right back.

• 1:31:34Speaker 04

  Mark's like, let me get this one in.

• 1:31:36Mark Normand?

  I had to get that Jew-haul joke in.

• 1:31:46Speaker 06

  I've had a little too much bourbon And Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like the cops are coming And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way

• 1:32:15Speaker 06

  We might be true

• 1:32:25Speaker 06

  Welcome to the 50th Hunger Games Witness the beginning of the revolution Hey Mitch, you've been trying to take down these games from Star Film for IMAX Make them remember you The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping, November 20th, rated PG-13