Colin Quinn & Jim Norton

Colin Quinn and Jim Norton join Mark and Sam for a deep dive into the wild early days of New York comedy, from brutal road gigs and dangerous hecklers to the rise of the Comedy Cellar. Plus, Colin revisits Tough Crowd, Jim looks back on the O&A years, and the guys trade stories about Patrice O’Neal, Woody Allen, Bruce Willis, Bill Hicks, Pat Cooper, and the comedians who shaped them. Sponsored by: Smalls: Get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life https://www.smalls.com/DRUNK Mars Men: Get 50% off for life, free shipping, and three free gifts https://www.mengotomars.com/ Ethos: Get your free life insurance quote https://www.ethos.com/DRUNK Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Colin Quinn: https://www.colinquinn.com/ Jim Norton: https://www.jimnorton.com/ Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #ColinQuinn #JimNorton #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey0:00 Opening banter and fart talk 3:10 Comment cards and bad reviews 8:56 Brutal venues and strip clubs 13:23 MSG stories and Madonna stand-up 18:45 Bill Hicks memories and old peers 25:16 Old Comedy Cellar atmosphere 32:25 LA, driving, and road stories 44:58 Woody Allen movie and acting stories 51:29 Kevin James, Governors, Bobby Collins 54:28 Dangerous gigs and audience threats 1:06:47 O&A memories and Patrice legacy 1:21:07 Comedy pet peeves and stage intros 1:27:40 Tour dates and outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Speaker 00

  I'm turning off my phone.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Smart move.

• 0:08Mark Normand?

  Good man. This guy's done a pod before.

• 0:11Sam Morril?

  This guy's a pro.

• 0:13Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 0:14Sam Morril?

  Should we start?

• 0:14Mark Normand?

  Let's do it.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  Oh, you've had a funny story.

• 0:21Mark Normand?

  Hey, we're here. We might be drunk. We're back. I'm sweaty. It's hot as balls. But we got some, uh, some funny guys here. Colin Quinn?

• 0:33Speaker 00

  Remind him.

• 0:34Speaker 01

  Hat off.

• 0:34Mark Normand?

  Kevin Brennan.

• 0:35Sam Morril?

  This is your problem. You never prepare for the podcast.

• 0:37Mark Normand?

  I know. I don't prepare.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  If you and Norton have a fart off, I'm walking out.

• 0:41Mark Normand?

  Oh, you fart too?

• 0:43Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Yes. How did you not know?

• 0:46Mark Normand?

  You've never farted on me.

• 0:47Speaker 00

  He farted. I used to, we'd be sitting on O and A for years and then suddenly one person would just go, "What? Oh, mother..." And we'd all be like, and the room would just be cursing.

• 0:56Sam Morril?

  Oh, you have the silent smell, he was.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  I like to cup them in my hand and gently open the gift.

• 1:01Speaker 00

  He would smile. And it was, it was a great smile. And just watching, all of us realize, "Motherf..."

• 1:09Mark Normand?

  See, I'm more of a loud farter.

• 1:11Sam Morril?

  But they say that's healthier.

• 1:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, great.

• 1:13Sam Morril?

  Loud and no smell is good.

• 1:14Speaker 00

  Either way, it's lowbrow, but we don't want to see it here in the podcast. Alright, Sam?

• 1:18Sam Morril?

  Nah, I like that.

• 1:19Speaker 00

  Sam, stop trying to be a regular guy. We look down on it.

• 1:24Mark Normand?

  The term is goy.

• 1:25Speaker 00

  We look down on it.

• 1:27Mark Normand?

  Alright, well, what's shaking, boys?

• 1:29Speaker 00

  What's happening?

• 1:30Mark Normand?

  Lowbrow can be fun.

• 1:32Speaker 01

  I was, uh, I was, it was so hot that I sat in traffic, an extra block, just to enjoy the air conditioning in the cab.

• 1:40Speaker 00

  That's funny.

• 1:41Mark Normand?

  Good banter.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  I just wanted to open with that.

• 1:43Speaker 00

  It's a good opener, but it's too local. Nobody else cares.

• 1:46Mark Normand?

  Too local.

• 1:46Speaker 00

  When I first started in comedy, I, I only had like Subway, like real New York material. And my first road gig, I never told you this one, it was a road gig and I was opening for somebody in North Carolina, Nags Head. Great club. And I bombed every show, but we were staying at the owner's house.

• 2:05Mark Normand?

  Oof, that's awkward.

• 2:06Speaker 00

  And I thought this was normal, because this was my first gig, you know. I, every, this is a passive aggressive on their part. The owner and his wife, and me and the headliner are sitting on couches every afternoon. And they would go over all the comment cards.

• 2:21Mark Normand?

  Oh my God, what a nightmare.

• 2:23Speaker 00

  And we would sit there and read 150 comment cards. And I thought, he goes, "This is how we do our business." But every one of them was like, "The middle act was terrible. He's not funny." I mean, nobody cursed in North Carolina in the 80s.

• 2:37Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure.

• 2:38Speaker 00

  "He's terrible. You should get rid of him. He doesn't have one joke."

• 2:40Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 2:41Speaker 00

  And I was bombing every night. It wasn't like I could be like, "That person." Everybody, "The headliner was good. This guy's..." And I'd just sit there every day and I was like, "This is tough." But I thought it was like, "This is what they do."

• 2:53Speaker 01

  I think that's what they should do. I think that's great. Why should you be deluded into think you're doing well?

• 2:58Mark Normand?

  Well, he knows he bombed.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  I knew I bombed.

• 3:00Sam Morril?

  That's YouTube comments, but in the 90s.

• 3:02Speaker 00

  Yes, exactly. And we'd sit there and read them all afternoon. Luckily, I smoked. I was happy sitting there smoking going, "This is a rough business."

• 3:10Sam Morril?

  I used to have that at like Crackers in Indianapolis. I remember, I would read the comment cards, because they would just show you. Liz at The Cellar will just forward me when I get a shitty comment.

• 3:17Mark Normand?

  No.

• 3:18Sam Morril?

  She would just, I, she sent me one the other day. It was like, "Four stars. Great show. Samorell sucks." And that was the whole email.

• 3:26Mark Normand?

  Well, even if you kill, you'll get a bad comment card. So it doesn't really mean anything.

• 3:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  They won't like what you talk about. It's always something.

• 3:32Mark Normand?

  I liked everything but that religion joke, whatever, whatever.

• 3:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, I get a lot of like, that I'm doing TED Talks now comments.

• 3:38Mark Normand?

  Ooh.

• 3:39Speaker 00

  Hey, you didn't say, "That's not true."

• 3:41Mark Normand?

  That's crazy.

• 3:44Speaker 00

  That's a target.

• 3:45Mark Normand?

  It hurts when they cut to the bone, you know, and they really nail it.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  They should have kept that to themselves.

• 3:52Speaker 00

  Oh, well.

• 3:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah, comic cards.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Did you do Club Casbah in, uh, Jersey? In Wildwood?

• 3:57Speaker 00

  No.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  You'd stay above the club?

• 3:58Speaker 00

  Oh, no.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was like one of those, it was like one of the first like condos, but it was, he just built it, had a plywood above the club.

• 4:05Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 4:05Sam Morril?

  And that club was a story that Tony Woods was staying upstairs and still late for his set.

• 4:09Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 4:12Mark Normand?

  That's the famous story of him and Aruba.

• 4:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 4:14Mark Normand?

  Aruba Ray's like, "Hey, they just gave Nattam in the light." He goes, "Alright, I'll get in the shower."

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Have you done that gig? I've not done Aruba Ray's gig.

• 4:22Mark Normand?

  I did it years ago.

• 4:24Speaker 00

  You did it?

• 4:24Mark Normand?

  I did it. It's super fun. You bring a lady out there, it was a great time.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, Natalie.

• 4:29Sam Morril?

  Holloway.

• 4:30Mark Normand?

  Oh, thank you, thank you. I don't know the victim's by first name, Jim. Sorry.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  I didn't want to oversell it with Holloway. It was too much.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Thank you, though. I didn't realize it would just, yeah, I should've said that.

• 4:43Mark Normand?

  Vander Sloot over here.

• 4:44Speaker 00

  That was a great save right there.

• 4:45Mark Normand?

  Good save. That was like a, that was a tip in by what's his face.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 4:48Sam Morril?

  It's better that you didn't have to say Holloway.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, I didn't want to overdo it.

• 4:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Yeah, those clubs where you have to stay right next to, or even the condos, I did one gig, I think it was comedy. What was the one that, like the Sea Room in Minneapolis?

• 5:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, in the mall?

• 5:03Sam Morril?

  No, it was even worse.

• 5:04Mark Normand?

  Joke joint?

• 5:05Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 5:05Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 5:06Sam Morril?

  And you stayed in, you stayed in the guy's, I didn't know I was in his house. I was like, "I'm in the condo." And then I'd go out and see him. I'm like, "Oh shit, I'm in..."

• 5:12Mark Normand?

  He's blowing the law.

• 5:12Speaker 00

  The worst.

• 5:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 5:13Mark Normand?

  The worst is a cruise, because you bomb and then you're just with them.

• 5:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 5:18Mark Normand?

  You can't escape them. It's like living in a neighborhood.

• 5:20Speaker 00

  Unless we do cruises, you act.

• 5:22Mark Normand?

  You know, it's like Impractical Joker's Cruise, or Burt Kreischer Cruise.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  I did the Kreischer Cruise and it was like, the shows were okay, but you're just stuck on the boat. I don't like boats.

• 5:30Sam Morril?

  And he also lives for that. He lives for the socializing.

• 5:33Mark Normand?

  He lives for it.

• 5:33Sam Morril?

  Because he's drinking and I'm like, "I just want to hide after the show."

• 5:36Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 5:37Speaker 00

  Serge, you're both right for doing that goddamn thing. Kreischer Cruise.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Well, I figure if somebody's...

• 5:41Speaker 00

  Me and Sam turned it down.

• 5:41Mark Normand?

  A lot of fun. That was a good time. You don't drink.

• 5:44Speaker 00

  No.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  Neither do I.

• 5:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  I'm just desperate for work.

• 5:48Mark Normand?

  But I'd see Jim out there, you're on the plank with fucking full black jeans on, black t-shirt.

• 5:53Speaker 00

  On the plank.

• 5:53Mark Normand?

  Or whatever, the poop deck? What do you call that?

• 5:56Speaker 01

  The boat, yeah, just the middle of the boat, yeah.

• 5:58Mark Normand?

  Middle of the boat. Everyone's wearing like Hawaiian shirts and shorts and you're wearing a burka.

• 6:02Sam Morril?

  You never did cruises starting out, ever?

• 6:04Speaker 00

  They didn't really have, in those days, there was no like celebrity, like people that you knew. It was just like, cruise was like the death of your career.

• 6:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 6:13Mark Normand?

  Well, Burt, he'll take any bad show and make it a Burt show. Outdoors! We all hate outdoors, but he's like, "But I got the Burt outdoors."

• 6:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:21Mark Normand?

  "I got the Burt boat."

• 6:21Speaker 01

  People who do cruises have shame. I just talked to someone last night and she's like, "Yeah, I'm going to start doing cruises." But you know, it's not the same as it used to be. Like people are just embarrassed and they have to admit they're doing cruises. But I'm like, "Well, make your money. What do I care?"

• 6:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah, sure.

• 6:34Speaker 00

  We didn't need your charitable...

• 6:35Speaker 01

  You're right. You're right. I probably didn't need to throw that.

• 6:39Speaker 00

  Guys, I just want to step in.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  You're right. That was unnecessary. I should have just cut it as a, go ahead, do the votes, hope for...

• 6:44Speaker 00

  King Solomon.

• 6:45Sam Morril?

  I did the, I did the, uh, I did the Impractical Joker's Cruise with Voss. Were we on the same one or no?

• 6:51Mark Normand?

  I don't think so.

• 6:51Sam Morril?

  And Voss afterwards, someone came up to me and she goes, "You were our favorite." And Voss goes, "Oh yeah? Well, your other friend is prettier than you."

• 7:01Speaker 01

  The next time Voss does a cruise, they should treat him like Leon Klinghoffer.

• 7:05Speaker 00

  Should've just said Leon.

• 7:07Mark Normand?

  Should've said Leon.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  No, I had to Klinghoffer it. I couldn't.

• 7:12Mark Normand?

  You had to. I don't know who, I don't, I still don't know who that is.

• 7:14Speaker 00

  You know Leon Klinghoffer?

• 7:15Mark Normand?

  No.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Was it true?

• 7:17Sam Morril?

  The PLO threw him off a boat.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  He was in a wheelchair?

• 7:20Mark Normand?

  What?

• 7:20Speaker 01

  Jewish guy, they threw him off a boat?

• 7:22Mark Normand?

  What? Wheelchair?

• 7:23Speaker 00

  It's a famous story back in the 80s.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  In the 80s, yeah.

• 7:25Mark Normand?

  Did they throw the chair as well or just him?

• 7:27Speaker 01

  No, no, they didn't want to litter. They kept the chair.

• 7:31Sam Morril?

  Holy shit, looks like Paulie Walnuts.

• 7:33Mark Normand?

  What happened? What'd he do? Did he bomb?

• 7:37Speaker 00

  You don't remember this? This is like the one...

• 7:38Mark Normand?

  I've never heard of this.

• 7:39Speaker 00

  That's how old we are. It's the most famous story back then.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:42Sam Morril?

  There he goes.

• 7:42Mark Normand?

  What'd he do?

• 7:43Speaker 00

  Was it one, he was doing comedy.

• 7:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, it was a Jewish thing?

• 7:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:46Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 7:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, they found out it was Jewish, then threw him off.

• 7:49Mark Normand?

  Whoa, what year? 88?

• 7:51Speaker 00

  I'd say, I'm going to guess 86.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm going to guess 83, but you guys can...

• 7:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, I was joking. I thought this was like the 40s.

• 7:57Speaker 00

  Damn it, we're all wrong.

• 7:58Mark Normand?

  Wow. He must have complained a lot or something must have happened. It couldn't just be a, a throw off for Jewish. That's wild.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  I'm guessing the PLO came onto the boat by force. I'm doubting...

• 8:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think that's what it was.

• 8:10Speaker 01

  We're taking a cruise.

• 8:11Sam Morril?

  What's the PLO?

• 8:11Speaker 00

  No one's ever killed a Jew for no reason.

• 8:14Mark Normand?

  What is it?

• 8:14Speaker 01

  Yes, we are fat Palestinian Liberation Organization.

• 8:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, jeez. This is all news to me.

• 8:20Speaker 00

  It's all news because it doesn't get to Brooklyn anymore, but there used to actually be some hostile Palestinians too.

• 8:25Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 8:27Sam Morril?

  That's a bit overboard.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  There was a joke, uh, because I think they shot him first, and some comic on a boat did a joke, "I'm going to order a Klinghoffer. It's two shots and a splash."

• 8:41Mark Normand?

  That's a great joke.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  I don't know who the comic is, but it's a...

• 8:44Mark Normand?

  That guy's on a roll. Oh, give him the chair.

• 8:47Sam Morril?

  That sounds like DePaulo's voice.

• 8:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 8:51Speaker 00

  Oh, DePaulo definitely had to cut like King Klinghoffer. Pro ways.

• 8:54Mark Normand?

  Of course. He's still doing them.

• 8:55Speaker 00

  You know?

• 8:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah, what were the bad gigs when you were starting out? Just like, see clubs?

• 9:00Speaker 01

  Uh, places that did, like their music, dance, dance places sucked, like where there was like, uh, just, you know, they would just put the chairs on the side. You want a dance floor? Those were always fucking horrible.

• 9:09Speaker 00

  People in the middle of dancing and they stopped dancing. They didn't even know there was a comedy show.

• 9:13Mark Normand?

  Ooh.

• 9:13Speaker 00

  They go, "Now comedy, they're talking, they want to kill us."

• 9:15Mark Normand?

  The ambush.

• 9:16Speaker 00

  And the most famous was Betty's Fireside. You know, remember that one?

• 9:19Speaker 01

  I do. I did Betty's once and it wasn't as bad as everyone said it was.

• 9:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, that speaks more to your acting tone.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  No, but by then, hold on, can we cut this? By then it had improved.

• 9:31Speaker 00

  Betty was an old battle axe and she was just standing there chain smoking, but you went there and the ritual, like even the people that went there, it was all like bikers in the middle of Denville, New Jersey. And they would just boo, like you were on like a stripper stage. It was an old strip club.

• 9:45Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 9:45Speaker 00

  And it would boo, like the first two acts just destroy you, just because that was their, it was a Wednesday night.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was notorious. It was, it was, it was, uh, in Denville, New Jersey.

• 9:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  And, uh, the, did you ever do the, the Boxcar was a hard one. Bob Levy booked it. It was a totally nude strip club where you bring your own liquor. And you would do four sets a night, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, in front of the same audience. One at seven, one at eight, one at nine, one at 10. You have to do 10 minutes.

• 10:10Sam Morril?

  Only Godfrey's having a good set there.

• 10:12Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  Killing every time, different material. That was a rough day.

• 10:17Sam Morril?

  That's a hell, how the fuck do you do that?

• 10:18Speaker 01

  You just, the, the guys just got sick of the dancers, so the bouncers and stuff just wanted comedy. No, the guys that worked there wanted something different.

• 10:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, the workers?

• 10:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, so they had comedians come in, they'd pay you decent.

• 10:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's how they, you used to saw it was all strip clubs, remember?

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:33Speaker 00

  The last one they did was Jay Leno. Remember he used to, he did strip clubs?

• 10:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  That's Jay Leno doing strip club comedy?

• 10:37Mark Normand?

  Crazy. The, the rumor is he'd put a 50 on the bar and said, "If I bomb, keep it." I don't know if that's true.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  To who the whole, who?

• 10:44Mark Normand?

  To the owner. He's like, "Let me do a set here." And they were like, "We don't really do comedy." He's like, "Here's 50 bucks. Let me do a set. And if I bomb, you can keep the money."

• 10:51Sam Morril?

  That's the most confident comedian that's ever lived. That's insane. You can't put, that can't be true.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  No.

• 10:56Mark Normand?

  Pull it up. Give it a goog.

• 10:57Speaker 00

  And 50 in those days. Sure.

• 11:00Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 11:00Speaker 00

  Good boy call.

• 11:04Speaker 00

  I'm here to add the boomer perspective on this.

• 11:09Mark Normand?

  Did you ever, you guys ever think comedy would get this big? When you're out in strip clubs, you're in the Boxcar, did you ever think it would go this nuclear?

• 11:16Speaker 01

  I didn't, not only did I not think it would get this big, but I didn't think that if it did get this big, I would be on the outside of it.

• 11:25Speaker 00

  I heard you're at Veterans Stadium this weekend. Isn't Shane this weekend?

• 11:29Mark Normand?

  I got the text, you coming by? And I'm like, ah, I got a gig, but it's gonna be quite a scene.

• 11:33Sam Morril?

  Where's, where is that?

• 11:34Speaker 00

  Philadelphia.

• 11:35Mark Normand?

  Philadelphia, the Eagles.

• 11:37Sam Morril?

  Eagles, yeah.

• 11:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's gonna be crazy. Crazy, that 80,000 seats.

• 11:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and they added seats.

• 11:42Speaker 00

  What?

• 11:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's doing a 4pm show. No, I'm kidding.

• 11:47Mark Normand?

  But he told me like the lineup of surprises and it's a real who's who.

• 11:51Sam Morril?

  This is coming out after, can you say?

• 11:52Mark Normand?

  I don't wanna.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  When's it coming out?

• 11:54Speaker 00

  So who's who?

• 11:55Mark Normand?

  Huh?

• 11:56Speaker 01

  When's it coming out?

• 11:57Mark Normand?

  This?

• 11:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:57Mark Normand?

  I don't know.

• 11:58Sam Morril?

  Couple of weeks.

• 11:58Speaker 01

  It'll be, oh, it'll be over then. So who was it? What are you, keeping a secret for?

• 12:02Mark Normand?

  Well, they're all black and rappers.

• 12:04Speaker 00

  Oh, boy.

• 12:06Mark Normand?

  No.

• 12:07Sam Morril?

  They turned it down, right?

• 12:08Mark Normand?

  Did they?

• 12:09Sam Morril?

  Oh, I don't know. I thought, I thought that's what you said.

• 12:11Mark Normand?

  No, no, uh.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  Diddy.

• 12:15Sam Morril?

  Diddy and R. Kelly's comeback.

• 12:16Mark Normand?

  Right. I know Chappelle and then Meek Mill.

• 12:19Speaker 04

  Meek Mill's in Philly.

• 12:20Mark Normand?

  Okay, and then another guy. Oh, 36 Mafia.

• 12:23Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah, cuz they got bangers. They got like hits, they can just play like, like three quick hits. Yeah, he mentioned this, I totally forgot.

• 12:30Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 12:32Mark Normand?

  It's gonna confuse his fully white audience.

• 12:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Should be like Morgan Wallen.

• 12:37Mark Normand?

  I was like, you gotta get some white guys on the show. He's like, we got McCusker. I was like, oh, okay.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  But honestly, guys, we joke, but diversity is never bad.

• 12:47Mark Normand?

  He prepared to edit that just in case I got in trouble for doing a thing with Shane already.

• 12:51Speaker 01

  What'd you do with him?

• 12:52Mark Normand?

  Well, he, he did a music video and I outed it before.

• 12:56Sam Morril?

  Oh, the Drake?

• 12:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I didn't know it was a secret. He never told me it was a secret, so then I said it.

• 13:00Speaker 00

  It's a secret too.

• 13:01Mark Normand?

  I know, but this comes out after.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Afterwards.

• 13:03Mark Normand?

  Supposedly, but just, just cover my ass here.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:06Speaker 00

  You can't help yourself, can you?

• 13:07Mark Normand?

  Well, you guys asked.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  We did push him, we did kind of push.

• 13:11Mark Normand?

  You pushed me.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  He tried to hold out.

• 13:12Speaker 00

  I didn't push him, I didn't give a damn who the hell's opening for Shane. I can put that on the damn podcast. As long as Matt McCusker and Big Jay is there.

• 13:20Mark Normand?

  Big Jay is there?

• 13:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:21Mark Normand?

  And you did the garden with him, right?

• 13:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:23Mark Normand?

  How was that?

• 13:24Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 13:25Mark Normand?

  It's crazy.

• 13:26Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 13:26Sam Morril?

  Crazy.

• 13:27Mark Normand?

  Was that your first time gardening?

• 13:28Speaker 00

  No, I did one, uh, 9/11 thing with, uh, Pete Davidson and, and 9/11 was, uh, remember they had the thing?

• 13:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Springsteen or, uh?

• 13:39Speaker 00

  No. Pete Da- everybody was there. Pete Davidson, Chappelle.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  McCartney.

• 13:44Speaker 00

  Phil Burr.

• 13:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow. That's fun.

• 13:47Speaker 00

  That was fun.

• 13:48Mark Normand?

  Damn. Yeah, the garden's wild. I did it once with Madonna. Madonna did a set.

• 13:53Speaker 00

  What?

• 13:54Mark Normand?

  She went on first, thank God.

• 13:56Sam Morril?

  How long did she go?

• 13:57Mark Normand?

  She did five and ate a big bag of cheese.

• 13:59Speaker 00

  She did the garden?

• 14:00Mark Normand?

  Did the garden with Schumer.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  With Amy, yeah, yeah.

• 14:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, she was trying to do standup for a minute. Remember she did The Cellar a few times, she did Night Show, she did Fallon? Pull that up, pull up Madonna and Fallon.

• 14:10Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 14:11Sam Morril?

  Does it, how's it go over? I don't think I ever saw this.

• 14:13Mark Normand?

  Uh, she's likable, obviously a performer, but the, the jokes aren't great.

• 14:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 14:17Mark Normand?

  Obviously.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  I kinda respect the fact she's doing it though, cuz why would you put yourself through that at 60? Everyone loves you, you've had a great life, you're having a great career. Just humiliate yourself.

• 14:27Mark Normand?

  I think the yes people, they think, uh.

• 14:29Speaker 00

  Oh, look.

• 14:29Sam Morril?

  No, people tell her she's funny in a circle. They're like, you're so funny, and then you get.

• 14:34Speaker 04

  Anyways, I just always think that it's good to talk about what you know. That's what, that's what I do. I just talk about what I know, right? So, I'm gonna, um, start with, um, dating younger men.

• 14:50Speaker 04

  You guys think that's funny? Yep. You think that's funny? Yeah, you do, don't you? Okay. Anyway, so, it's true, I date younger guys. Um, and I have my reasons, but I'm not gonna go into them.

• 15:05Sam Morril?

  It's a long setup.

• 15:05Speaker 04

  But I did find myself, very strangely, the other day at breakfast with my son Raul, go thinking,

• 15:13Speaker 04

  I haven't had a date in a couple of weeks, and I looked at my son without thinking, and I said, um, do you have any friends you could introduce me to?

• 15:20Sam Morril?

  We knew where that was going.

• 15:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I have to say, she's dressed like Colin in his first HBO special. Pull that up. Boy, were you hip.

• 15:28Sam Morril?

  Oh, the pirate's jacket and the mullet and the cigarette?

• 15:32Mark Normand?

  Sitting on the stage.

• 15:35Sam Morril?

  You had some great jokes in that one.

• 15:36Speaker 00

  I had some good jokes, thank you. You know, I did it with the whole thing with homeless about it, and I was like, you know what? Now I stand by that set. Even though I was brutalized for years afterwards, one man, who I didn't even know that well, hammered me every time he saw me. How was your set? I saw you HBO half hour. I was like, who the fuck, I barely know you.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was very abrasive.

• 15:57Speaker 00

  He gave me a nice beating.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:58Speaker 00

  Deservedly so.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, the outfit.

• 16:00Speaker 00

  This girl.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  The material was good, but the outfit was.

• 16:03Speaker 00

  The outfit was fine, so was the haircut.

• 16:05Mark Normand?

  Nice necklace with the.

• 16:06Speaker 00

  The necklace was a little strange, but some girl gave that to me, and this girl in the front was hanging out afterwards, but I, oh.

• 16:12Sam Morril?

  You look like Jacob Elordi.

• 16:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, good point.

• 16:15Sam Morril?

  You're a handsome dude, Colin.

• 16:16Speaker 00

  I look like, I look like Christian Bale in, in The Fighter.

• 16:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 16:19Mark Normand?

  There you go. After the.

• 16:23Mark Normand?

  Now, what, where are we here? Is this?

• 16:25Speaker 00

  Miami.

• 16:26Mark Normand?

  Whoa, why the fuck would you choose Miami?

• 16:28Speaker 00

  I didn't. They were shooting eight in Miami. I didn't wanna fucking be in Miami. And then anytime I were, I just.

• 16:35Speaker 01

  Oh, this, come on, this fucking casual guy just shows up. Shut up.

• 16:44Speaker 00

  I couldn't get on. I had to shoot this dumb show, so I couldn't get on for a month beforehand.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 16:49Speaker 00

  I was fucking.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  And what'd you forget that the stage is where you're standing?

• 16:53Speaker 00

  What is this, what is this giant thing behind me?

• 16:57Sam Morril?

  That lean is amazing, dude.

• 17:00Speaker 00

  I'm biting my finger in that girl.

• 17:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, my God, look at this.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  Where's your mic? Are you just, uh, oh, it's your wireless?

• 17:06Speaker 00

  No, I think I have, I think I have a mic on.

• 17:07Mark Normand?

  It's on the jacket.

• 17:12Speaker 00

  I mean, look, I look good.

• 17:14Sam Morril?

  You do. You do look good.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  I wouldn't say good.

• 17:17Speaker 00

  So, what's that?

• 17:18Mark Normand?

  You were the original Matt Rife. You're handsome, cool, good jawline.

• 17:21Speaker 00

  I told you I was a hot seventy.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  I disagreed completely. You look like Swiggy.

• 17:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, I could see it. I could see it.

• 17:28Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 17:28Sam Morril?

  Were you sober at this point? How many years sober are you here?

• 17:32Speaker 00

  Uh, a few.

• 17:34Mark Normand?

  Crazy to go Miami. You're like the quintessential New York guy.

• 17:37Speaker 00

  I smoked like, it wasn't my idea.

• 17:39Mark Normand?

  I know, I know, I'm just saying.

• 17:40Speaker 00

  I realize my ears are a little large, but.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:42Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, quite the lobe, but.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  Did I know you when you smoked? I don't remember. When did you quit?

• 17:47Speaker 00

  No.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 17:48Speaker 00

  I quit in 1991 or 92.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, I didn't know you.

• 17:51Mark Normand?

  Can you justify that necklace?

• 17:53Speaker 00

  I smoked all day, every day.

• 17:55Mark Normand?

  Can you justify that necklace you're wearing?

• 17:57Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 18:00Mark Normand?

  Holloway.

• 18:01Speaker 00

  Talk to your boy, yeah, talk to your boy Jim like that, we just met.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:05Mark Normand?

  Now, who was the guy then? Was it, was it like Dennis Miller or was it Bill Hicks?

• 18:10Speaker 00

  It was Dennis Miller, Bill Hicks, Dice, Kinnison.

• 18:15Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 18:16Speaker 00

  Um, yeah, they were, they were the biggest names. Brett Butler, Brett Butler was great.

• 18:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, she killed.

• 18:22Speaker 00

  Brett Butler was great. Um.

• 18:24Mark Normand?

  Herself.

• 18:25Speaker 00

  Dom Araro was big, Alan Havy was big.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  Barry Sobel.

• 18:30Speaker 00

  Barry Sobel was big. Um.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  George Wallace.

• 18:36Speaker 00

  No, he wasn't that big, he was, he was.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  Mario Joyner.

• 18:39Speaker 00

  No, he was.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  Jerry Seinfeld.

• 18:41Speaker 00

  Seinfeld was big.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  Jake Johansson.

• 18:44Speaker 00

  Jake Johansson was kinda big.

• 18:45Sam Morril?

  Did you guys ever work with Bill Hicks?

• 18:47Speaker 00

  Sure, I knew Bill, I knew Bill pretty good.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  Never met him.

• 18:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah, what was he like?

• 18:51Speaker 00

  Great guy. Great guy, like a fucking, you know what I mean? Like, no, not, nothing like his acts. I mean, he was just a nice guy. He was like a real comedian that would just hang out and, you know, he had no shitty attitude. He was funny.

• 19:05Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 19:06Speaker 00

  And all the guys that started with him, like T. Sean Shannon, those guys, they said, you guys didn't see, how could we? When he was like 17 at Houston, comedy, he did no political stuff, it was all just set up punchline, and they said he had like the best surreal, like funny.

• 19:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, he did impressions of his teachers.

• 19:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, and they said he was amazing, like just.

• 19:25Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 19:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and there documentary about him, I think it's American Scream?

• 19:29Sam Morril?

  Something like.

• 19:30Mark Normand?

  Something like that. They show him as a kid and he's killing cuz he used to work at a shoe store, and he's talking, doing a whole bit about shoe store, and it's, it's silly and weird and big act outs. But then he just turned into like, you know, the social commentary guy.

• 19:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, he got, he got mad, but he was, uh, yeah, he was really a funny guy.

• 19:47Speaker 01

  How's T. Sean? He, he did the, uh, the Tough Crowd pilot, wasn't he on that?

• 19:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  Um, what's he doing?

• 19:54Speaker 00

  He lives in Houston, he does standup down there, he does like a whole, he has a whole little side, comedy related business and stuff.

• 20:00Sam Morril?

  How often are people hitting you up to bring back Tough Crowd?

• 20:03Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 20:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, my God.

• 20:05Sam Morril?

  A few times a week, right?

• 20:06Speaker 00

  No, not, they only do it now just to fucking troll me because I was on Jim and Sam and they kept bringing it up. And then, so I was like, stop bringing it up, it annoys me, so of course now, you know, every douchebag on social media and it's like, hey, you ever thought about bringing back Tough Crowd?

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Or as a podcast.

• 20:21Speaker 00

  As a podcast.

• 20:23Sam Morril?

  You know, someone called me, he's like, I, I have this idea for Colin, I'm like, if it's bringing back Tough Crowd, you, you don't, and he was like, he was just silent, I'm like, you fucking idiot.

• 20:31Speaker 00

  It's unbelievable, like they think I, it hasn't crossed my mind, like, what a radical idea.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  You should, you should have egged him on and go, dude, you gotta turn it off. He doesn't think anybody wants it.

• 20:44Mark Normand?

  Seriously, you should bring that back. That would be cool.

• 20:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I know we're joking, but it actually was a great show.

• 20:48Mark Normand?

  That was a great show, it was a good time.

• 20:50Speaker 00

  Yeah. I mean, honestly, if I knew comedy's gonna be like popping the way all you guys were gonna come up, I might've thought about it. But at the time, I just thought, you know, I didn't even think about comedy being, who knew comedy's gonna blow up the way it's blown up?

• 21:03Mark Normand?

  That's what I'm saying. Now, we asked the audience for some questions, cuz they're, they're big fans here. How many are gonna be like, when is Tough Crowd coming back?

• 21:11Speaker 00

  None of them.

• 21:12Mark Normand?

  All right, we'll see.

• 21:14Speaker 01

  By the way, was I invited here and I'm crashing Colin's episode?

• 21:17Mark Normand?

  No, these were you two.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 21:19Mark Normand?

  Jesus, Jim, you low self-esteem weirdo.

• 21:21Speaker 01

  I didn't know if I was gonna be able to do it.

• 21:22Speaker 00

  Jim, why'd you crash my episode?

• 21:24Speaker 01

  That's what I feel like, my infringing. Now you have one average episode instead of two shitty ones.

• 21:31Sam Morril?

  One of them said, ask Jim about Lucky Louis.

• 21:34Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, you were all over that.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:37Mark Normand?

  You were the friend.

• 21:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah, how was that?

• 21:38Speaker 01

  It was great. I mean, and it did a lot of, a lot of viewers. I wish they would have brought it back. HBO was a mistake they made. They should have done season two.

• 21:44Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Every week Louis would go over the, he goes, we're actually getting more viewers each week, which is rare.

• 21:51Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  Usually you lose viewers, but.

• 21:53Mark Normand?

  Well, we had Louis on. He was like, that show was dead in the water. They hated it out of the gate.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  They did, yeah. The, the critics didn't like it.

• 21:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 05

  So our first question is from Isaac to Colin. Why won't you reboot Tough Crap?

• 22:04Mark Normand?

  I told you, right there.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  Oh, God. What's the answer? How about an answer?

• 22:10Speaker 00

  Answers I.

• 22:11Mark Normand?

  It's a lot of work.

• 22:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:12Speaker 00

  No, the answer is, I did it once. I didn't want to be one of those people that does a fucking show I already did twenty years later.

• 22:20Sam Morril?

  And also it was so, I mean, you know, Geraldo and Patrice, all those, that was like the perfect mix, you guys, you know?

• 22:27Speaker 00

  It was good.

• 22:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  But it would be.

• 22:31Speaker 05

  Sorry, this guy Chad asked Colin, I'm a big fan of the block by block videos you've been doing.

• 22:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:37Speaker 05

  Fascinating to hear. What neighborhoods are you considering for your upcoming videos?

• 22:40Speaker 00

  Um, I don't know. I mean, I'd like to do, I really was more, I should be more ambitious with it and do, I'd like to do it. In my dream world, I would do every neighborhood in New York before I drop dead.

• 22:51Mark Normand?

  Hmm. Damn.

• 22:54Speaker 01

  Hope you don't make it past second half of you.

• 23:01Mark Normand?

  Aren't these neighborhoods changing though? Like, do you go back and go, they used to be like this? Is that the whole thing?

• 23:05Speaker 00

  You can't even say that because it's exactly, yeah, it's all completely different.

• 23:08Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 23:09Speaker 00

  Just talk about the old days, but yeah, you can, you know, there's nothing there.

• 23:12Sam Morril?

  Which block depresses you the most that has changed?

• 23:16Speaker 00

  Um, the only block that hasn't changed is McDougal Street, by the way.

• 23:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, alright.

• 23:20Speaker 00

  Exactly the same.

• 23:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 23:22Speaker 00

  As it always looked.

• 23:23Sam Morril?

  It is amazing. I was watching that movie Inside Lewin Davis and it's just like, oh, that's, uh, they played right next to, they didn't change any of it. It's campy lots. Yeah, it's pretty cool.

• 23:31Speaker 00

  But I mean.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  Bleecker Street's different?

• 23:33Speaker 00

  No, Bleecker Street's the same. Oh, I didn't know I was getting called out on it.

• 23:38Speaker 00

  You're right.

• 23:39Mark Normand?

  I thought, I lived.

• 23:40Speaker 00

  Bleecker Street is the same.

• 23:40Mark Normand?

  I lived on Bleecker. It was, it feels very rich now. Wasn't it kind of like record stores and guitar shops? Now it feels kind of high end.

• 23:49Sam Morril?

  There's a couple of those blocks that have been like that, that one weird block with the, uh, the funeral home right next to the coffee place, right next to the, uh,

• 23:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:58Sam Morril?

  The record store. Yeah.

• 23:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:59Sam Morril?

  That, I feel like that's been there forever.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  There's a place called The Fantastic. There's a place there too on Thompson. There was a good sushi place. Weren't there chess, chess shops?

• 24:06Mark Normand?

  That's still there. That's still there.

• 24:07Speaker 01

  The chess shop?

• 24:08Mark Normand?

  The chess is still there.

• 24:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's where the, what'd you call the, you know, the mob, the, the big gigantic had his, the guy that walked around the bathrobe.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:16Speaker 00

  That was him right across the street.

• 24:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Jimmy the Chin?

• 24:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  The Chin, yeah.

• 24:20Speaker 00

  That was his place right by the, next to the chess plot.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  Really?

• 24:22Speaker 00

  Across the street, yeah.

• 24:24Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 24:25Speaker 00

  He was always out there. You see him all the time with the guys walking around.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  You saw him?

• 24:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:29Mark Normand?

  Doesn't it kill you when those old places go away like that, what was that, Soup and, Soup and Burger?

• 24:33Speaker 00

  Oh, you're cozy.

• 24:35Mark Normand?

  It kills me. I don't know why that makes me so sad.

• 24:37Speaker 00

  I know.

• 24:38Sam Morril?

  We were shooting, we were shooting for my movie. We did, uh, We Need a Restaurant and we're hitting up all these places and every place was like twenty grand. And we hit up Soup and Burger. They're like five hundred bucks in cash and we're like, alright.

• 24:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 24:49Sam Morril?

  Not a great sign though, that they were so willing to just say, yeah, use it, whatever.

• 24:52Speaker 01

  What's up?

• 24:53Sam Morril?

  Uh, I mean, I think like a month ago, dude, that place, I love that place.

• 24:57Mark Normand?

  I know, classic.

• 24:58Sam Morril?

  Great soup.

• 24:59Speaker 00

  Well, I remember when Joe's Pizza was on the corner of Common and Bleecker. Like that, they moved that location away.

• 25:04Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  It used to be like five stores down.

• 25:06Mark Normand?

  I didn't know that.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  I love a good classic piece of Ray's.

• 25:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 25:12Speaker 00

  The original, I assume.

• 25:16Speaker 00

  But you also used to smoke. Like when I first went to The Cellar, we walk in and we're just, every place was full of smoke.

• 25:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 25:22Speaker 00

  So it reminded you of like the old days, like, just, it was great. It had a different, whole different vibe. Everybody's smoking, SD's at the table, all the customers sitting there, everybody just smoked on stage, there was ashtrays.

• 25:34Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  I look back at pictures with fucking ashtrays at the table. It's like, how did anybody smoke in that upstairs when we were eating?

• 25:41Speaker 00

  We loved it.

• 25:42Mark Normand?

  All the time.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  No, I know.

• 25:43Speaker 00

  If you complained, people would be like, the fuck's your, your problem? There's a non-smoking section. It's like two.

• 25:48Sam Morril?

  Two seats over.

• 25:49Speaker 00

  The first time I went to The Cellar, I was with my friend. We were on a double date, but I wanted to check out comedy now. And we go with these two girls. So Dom Arera's on stage. And so my friend, Dom Arera has a glass of cranberry juice. And so he's drinking cranberry juice. So my friend goes, he goes, drink it before it clots. You know, like his blood. So Dom Arera goes, what'd you say? And he goes, nothing. He goes, no, no, what'd you say? Seriously, I want to know. And he goes, I said, drink it before it clots. And Dom Arera goes.

• 26:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, man.

• 26:32Speaker 00

  Cause it's.

• 26:35Speaker 00

  I mean.

• 26:37Speaker 00

  Drink it before it clots. And he acted, it was so.

• 26:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's painful.

• 26:40Speaker 00

  He made my friend this big. He brought it back like three times.

• 26:45Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 26:46Sam Morril?

  And, and the making repeat on top of it is such a.

• 26:49Speaker 00

  And then acting like, his reaction, I can remember the heck of a response. He was laughing so hard. The whole crowd knew, like, he was just humiliated.

• 26:57Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 26:58Speaker 00

  He was great.

• 26:59Speaker 01

  Maybe he genuinely enjoyed your friend's.

• 27:01Speaker 00

  I don't think so.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 27:02Speaker 00

  He brought it back three times and he goes like this and no, exactly.

• 27:07Speaker 00

  And in those days, you'd do like twenty-five at The Cellar.

• 27:10Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 27:10Speaker 00

  The Cellar was great. When The Cellar first started, it was like getting in there was like all the club, it was the small club. It was a club where no industry, everybody would end their night there.

• 27:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 27:21Speaker 00

  And.

• 27:21Sam Morril?

  Catch a Rising Star was the hot club, right?

• 27:23Speaker 00

  What's that?

• 27:24Sam Morril?

  Catch a Rising Star was the hot club then, right?

• 27:26Speaker 00

  Catch a Rising Star was the hot club. The Improv still had a name, but the, the club for like the real, the people that could really do time and like was The Cellar. So it wasn't really prestigious, but yeah, the catch in those places, industry.

• 27:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 27:39Speaker 00

  And everybody come down late and hang at The Cellar. And you do twenty-five minutes. They just leave you on there. And just.

• 27:46Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 27:47Speaker 00

  You had to be able to do twenty-five and there was no crowd.

• 27:50Sam Morril?

  How did they audition that?

• 27:52Speaker 00

  How did they audition you?

• 27:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah, because it's like five, you could get away with passing for five minutes, but then.

• 27:56Speaker 01

  I forget. Well, didn't you move into Food Spots first? When I started there, you were doing Food Spots.

• 28:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, you get paid.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  Food Spots.

• 28:02Speaker 00

  Before the Food Spots, you know what I mean?

• 28:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. I got there in like ninety-six or ninety-five. So there was Food Spots, uh.

• 28:07Speaker 00

  You're right, right, right.

• 28:08Mark Normand?

  I heard it was BYOB too. Is that true?

• 28:11Speaker 00

  No.

• 28:11Mark Normand?

  That feels crazy.

• 28:12Speaker 00

  There was that drinks.

• 28:14Sam Morril?

  Now that was a strip club that went up.

• 28:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, that was the boxcar.

• 28:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, they would make you do twenty-five.

• 28:19Mark Normand?

  Twenty-five is crazy.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  It was twenty, I think, when I started.

• 28:21Mark Normand?

  What?

• 28:22Speaker 00

  Your audition was twenty minutes.

• 28:23Mark Normand?

  That's insane.

• 28:24Speaker 00

  Well, there weren't that many comedians. It was a whole different world.

• 28:26Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 28:27Sam Morril?

  She must have been so pissed though, if you, if you wrecked someone's shit.

• 28:30Speaker 00

  She didn't do it. She did Bill Grunfest audition.

• 28:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:33Speaker 00

  I passed with Bill. Did you pass with Bill?

• 28:35Speaker 01

  No, it was SD. I got into The Cellar and Danger Fields the same day.

• 28:39Mark Normand?

  Hey, that's a cool day.

• 28:40Speaker 01

  But it wasn't, it wasn't like as, as big a deal then. Like it wasn't the place, everyone wasn't like, fuck you, you're in The Cellar. It was before all the documentaries and stuff and before Louis and Seinfeld's documentary.

• 28:49Speaker 00

  Well, I feel like that's what I was kind of saying and you're just hitting on.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  I'm just reiterating.

• 28:52Speaker 00

  But if you had said, as Colin said, it really wasn't the place, it might have been a little less awkward for me.

• 28:57Speaker 01

  It wasn't necessary to say as Colin said.

• 28:59Speaker 00

  It was necessary because you were literally acting like you, it was Erasure.

• 29:04Speaker 01

  On your part, as we say these days.

• 29:05Speaker 00

  What is Erasure? You erased, you, you erased Erasure Head, like you.

• 29:14Mark Normand?

  Do you kind of get annoyed by the prestige as guys who've been there forever that you're like, I just want to work out here. I don't want, I don't want to be stared at by a bunch of industry or comics or anybody. I just want to work on stuff?

• 29:26Speaker 00

  No, what are you kidding me?

• 29:27Mark Normand?

  You like, I mean, it's great that it's cool every night, but.

• 29:29Speaker 00

  Well, I'm just glad none of you guys noticed. When I started, after a couple of years, the old fucks like us would move to LA and become writers. We, we won't give up our spots. When I started, all those guys moved and we were the next generation. We didn't move.

• 29:43Mark Normand?

  Well, that's fine. You don't want to go to LA.

• 29:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I'm just saying, so you know.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  He posing for a trophy. That's a terrible fucking.

• 29:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, weird.

• 29:50Speaker 00

  I gotta stretch my leg.

• 29:50Sam Morril?

  I'm actually worried you have blood clots now.

• 29:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:53Sam Morril?

  Are you alright?

• 29:54Mark Normand?

  You want to repeat that?

• 29:57Speaker 00

  Is this a Richard Gere joke?

• 29:59Sam Morril?

  I think it was.

• 30:00Mark Normand?

  I think it was, actually.

• 30:01Speaker 00

  Oh. A little jerk. Oh.

• 30:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 30:06Mark Normand?

  Well, I've just heard guys go up and be like, ah, you guys, this crowd has changed. It used to be more fun and gritty.

• 30:12Speaker 00

  No.

• 30:13Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 30:14Speaker 00

  I mean, Cellar's The Cellar. I mean, it changed, it always changes. But like I said, there was no fucking crowd. We used to drag people in. You remember which is face?

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Louis Shaffer.

• 30:24Speaker 00

  He was great.

• 30:25Mark Normand?

  Was he a Barker?

• 30:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, but he was, he, you know, he was the best Barker in history.

• 30:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:31Speaker 01

  He would, they weren't great crowds, but I mean, he would get, he would fill the room. It's crazy.

• 30:35Mark Normand?

  So how do you think these other clubs, which you guys say prestigious, whatever, uptown, those closed, but The Cellar lived?

• 30:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:41Mark Normand?

  How about that?

• 30:41Speaker 00

  I think it's also because The Cellar was such a comedian's club.

• 30:45Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 30:45Speaker 00

  Like even back then, when the industry was just starting to pop, the rule was no industry, like every other club's like NBC's coming, like ten.

• 30:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 30:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:54Speaker 00

  Chisel. And The Cellar was like, you come through a comedian or we don't want to, like you couldn't be like, we're NBC.

• 31:00Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 31:01Speaker 00

  At the table, a comedian had to recommend you.

• 31:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, damn.

• 31:04Speaker 00

  Even back then. So that set a good tone, I feel like.

• 31:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:08Mark Normand?

  Good for them.

• 31:09Speaker 01

  I never did catch, I never did catch on, uh, eighty, what was it? Eighty Second and Sixth Strip. Where was catch? It was on First Avenue.

• 31:15Speaker 00

  Seventy-eighth and First.

• 31:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, I went in there a couple of times, but I never did a set there. I kind of wish I had worked there once.

• 31:20Sam Morril?

  Who were the comics working catch back then?

• 31:22Speaker 01

  Sweeney.

• 31:23Speaker 00

  What's that?

• 31:24Speaker 01

  Wasn't Sweeney hosting?

• 31:25Speaker 00

  Well, you wouldn't know. You just said you'd never worked there.

• 31:27Speaker 01

  No, but I went in there. I would have, I would have my eyes closed and fucking caught my eyes.

• 31:31Speaker 00

  You were outside the window, Mike.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  That's not true. I went in there and I went, hi, I'm from New Jersey.

• 31:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, Sweden is the MC towards the, yeah, later. But I mean, it depends what years you're talking about. When I first came there, it was like, oh, you guys, nobody would, there was a guy named Gary Lazar who was big. There was a guy, like, the improv comics was Havy, um, Havy was, Havy was huge in the early nineties.

• 32:02Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 32:03Speaker 00

  Domarera, they were all like the improv guys. Ken Ober, Lou DiMaggio, Sue Kalinsky.

• 32:08Sam Morril?

  I heard Lou DiMaggio is hilarious.

• 32:09Speaker 00

  He was really funny.

• 32:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 32:11Speaker 00

  Sue Kalinsky, ever hear of her?

• 32:12Sam Morril?

  No, I haven't.

• 32:13Speaker 01

  She was a ra- I, didn't she do radio?

• 32:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  I knew her, I knew her from radio. I knew her name from radio. I didn't know her.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, she was funny.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:18Speaker 00

  And then Cash was like Brett Butler.

• 32:21Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 32:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, she was there and, um.

• 32:25Mark Normand?

  You guys made the LA move, didn't you, at one point?

• 32:27Speaker 01

  Never.

• 32:28Mark Normand?

  Never did it?

• 32:28Speaker 00

  I was there for a few years.

• 32:30Mark Normand?

  Not for you?

• 32:30Sam Morril?

  So hard to picture you in LA. Can you drive?

• 32:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:34Sam Morril?

  Not well, though, right?

• 32:35Speaker 01

  No, you don't drive well. I've driven with you.

• 32:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah, his book says you're a shitty driver.

• 32:39Speaker 00

  It's ridiculous. I just.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  Did I talk about that in my book? I don't even remember.

• 32:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, you did. You said you were hoping I could run over and then you'd, what was he saying? Something about the Book of Lee? Well, I was, because I was trying to show, I was trying to show him the foliage.

• 32:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:55Speaker 00

  But I'll tell you the best move I ever made with Jim driving, and it's one of my proudest moments, is he wanted his cappuccino and we're passing a Starbucks. And he'd done it to me earlier. He'd fucking driven by when I was trying to get whatever I was trying to get. And then he forgot about that. A couple of gigs later, he wanted to stop at Starbucks on the way home. It was cappuccino. And I drove into, you know, the, and then just zoomed back on the highway.

• 33:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do remember that. Yeah, it was very unsatisfying.

• 33:26Speaker 00

  You ever hear of John Mulrooney, R.I.P. John Mulrooney story about, in LA, when he's, uh, these two kids, like Crips, are robbing, he had a Porsche.

• 33:37Mark Normand?

  Uh-oh.

• 33:38Speaker 00

  So the kid goes, so one of the guys is holding a gun to John Mulrooney, and the other guy's, you know, trying to start his car. And, and the guy goes, I can't start. He goes, because it's a Porsche, it's a stick. And looks at John Mulrooney and goes,

• 33:56Speaker 00

  see what I have to, like, basically saying, see what I have to deal with. While he's holding a gun to him.

• 34:01Mark Normand?

  Holy shit. What did he, what was his claim to fame? Was he a writer?

• 34:06Speaker 00

  He died, um, he died last year.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  What did he, he hosted the show Comic Trip Alive, right?

• 34:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, he was a, he was a comedian. I, I happened to do a gig with him about a year and a half ago, an Irish thing, and he was, he was a comedian that was famous for, he did crowd work, but he was fearless. I mean, he got attacked on stage, I mean, he would never back down and he was, he would get a crowd. You'd never wanted to follow John Mulrooney.

• 34:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 34:33Speaker 00

  He would go and just go through the crowd the whole time, but it was so goo- he was so funny at it. It was crazy.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I did a police benefit with him because he always wanted to be a cop. He loved the cops.

• 34:45Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, he became a cop, yeah. But I did it in like the early nineties and he just did an hour on, on cops.

• 34:50Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 34:50Speaker 01

  It was all cops in the audience. It was really amazing.

• 34:52Speaker 00

  Was he killing? Yeah.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  Killed, yeah.

• 34:55Mark Normand?

  Is he a New York guy?

• 34:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's from Brooklyn.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 34:58Sam Morril?

  I'd heard of him. I remember, people talked about him back in the day.

• 35:01Mark Normand?

  I don't know this guy.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  Did you work Pips?

• 35:04Speaker 00

  Sure, didn't I ever tell you my, I told you guys my big Pips story, didn't I?

• 35:07Mark Normand?

  Please.

• 35:08Speaker 00

  I'm sure I told, I, I can't believe I didn't tell. My first night at Pips.

• 35:12Sam Morril?

  That's in Brooklyn, right?

• 35:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, it was, it's the first comedy club before the improv. It's the first comedy club in the history of the world, probably, yeah.

• 35:20Mark Normand?

  Appetow, get on the dock. We need a Pips dock.

• 35:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, it's closed now, but.

• 35:25Speaker 01

  And everyone's dead.

• 35:26Speaker 00

  But I was there a bunch of times, but, but the first time I went, I go to audition, it's a Wednesday. I came, I must have, so outside, on the outside on tape, it says, you know, like, Nicky Talamundo will not be here tonight.

• 35:40Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 35:40Speaker 00

  So I'm like, I've told you this, right?

• 35:42Mark Normand?

  No, no.

• 35:43Speaker 00

  So I go, oh, that's weird, you know, something that.

• 35:45Mark Normand?

  Is that it? That can't be it.

• 35:47Speaker 01

  No, that's not it.

• 35:48Mark Normand?

  All right, sorry.

• 35:49Sam Morril?

  It's literally like a wall, isn't it?

• 35:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's.

• 35:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, there was stores next to it.

• 35:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 35:54Mark Normand?

  Sheep's Head Bay, that's so far out.

• 35:56Speaker 00

  So far. David Brenner used to go work his material out there.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was like sixty seats. It was very small.

• 36:02Mark Normand?

  Whoa, sixty seats.

• 36:04Sam Morril?

  Didn't Dice work there?

• 36:05Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, he, he's definitely working there. I saw one in Georgia.

• 36:10Mark Normand?

  Man, comedy was so niche. It was so underground.

• 36:13Speaker 00

  It was so underground. But isn't it weird? This is the first comedy club in the whole, probably in the whole world.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  So what happened? You got there?

• 36:21Speaker 00

  Oh, so I get there, so it says whatever the guy's name is, Frankie, whatever. So I go in, waiting like three hours, finally get up. These guys come in from Ever New X, which is like a big Italian name from back then, all tatted up, and nobody would, had tattoos. Start throwing chairs, goes, oh, fuck, and the show's over. Show's outside. Everybody, I was like, what the fuck? They go outside. They, apparently their friend, whatever his name was.

• 36:48Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 36:48Speaker 00

  Had not passed the week before audition. Wednesday was audition night. So I stood with Seth Schultz. I stood next to him like, yeah, I'm ready, like, I was gonna fight with him against these guys, because I was so addicted to comedy. I go, I'll get my ass kicked. Who cares?

• 37:02Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 37:03Speaker 00

  And it worked because he gave me a spot on that Friday night.

• 37:05Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 37:06Speaker 00

  Which I bombed and didn't get back by. But we walk outside, this is when I should have left comedy. It's fucking beast.

• 37:13Mark Normand?

  Is that McGregor?

• 37:14Speaker 00

  Fucking McGregor, baby.

• 37:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, with the leg.

• 37:17Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 37:18Mark Normand?

  So what happened?

• 37:19Speaker 00

  So I go outside.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  Your one nipple is bigger than the other, by the way. It's annoying.

• 37:24Speaker 00

  No, it's just I'm twisted a little.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  No, it's not.

• 37:26Speaker 00

  Um, it's just the angle.

• 37:29Mark Normand?

  Jim knows men's nipples.

• 37:30Speaker 00

  Don't be jealous of that fucking Bruce Lee wingspan. Look at that.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  You do have a good wingspan. Your left nipple, your nipple is out of shape, like out of place.

• 37:37Speaker 00

  No, it's not like that.

• 37:38Speaker 01

  It's not. It looks weird.

• 37:40Speaker 00

  No, that's just the picture.

• 37:41Sam Morril?

  The dude looking on is the best part of this picture.

• 37:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 37:44Sam Morril?

  The dude just staring.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  He can't believe your muscles. It's like, god damn, he packed them on. He can't get over it.

• 37:50Speaker 00

  Pretty fucking beastly. Um, so I go outside, so the, they're, they have a flatbed truck set up. And their friend is up there doing his act. And here's when I should have quit comedy, about, maybe, how many, maybe it's twelve people in the whole place. About six of them leave like, oh, god, that was scary, you know, because these guys throwing fucking chairs. They're threatening everybody. And the other six people are like this, around the truck. And this guy's doing his dumb act and they're kind of laughing like, hey, this is pretty good comedy. That would just, they were customers in the show.

• 38:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, my god.

• 38:23Speaker 00

  That's when I should have left the fucking business. They were like, eh, I guess the show's this guy. And he's like, eh, you have a fucking crack. Pretty good.

• 38:32Mark Normand?

  Well, Italians love it.

• 38:33Sam Morril?

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• 38:54Mark Normand?

  That's the best wool.

• 38:55Sam Morril?

  That's that wool keeps your feet nice and warm in the winter.

• 38:58Mark Normand?

  Very nice.

• 38:59Sam Morril?

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• 39:26Mark Normand?

  Very good.

• 39:26Sam Morril?

  I, I wear this shit all the time.

• 39:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, I love Quinn.

• 39:29Sam Morril?

  I love it, dude. I, it's quality, it fits right, and it's not expensive. I, I love it. And I like what, like, when it's not the logo everywhere on it.

• 39:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah, true, true.

• 39:37Sam Morril?

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• 39:57Mark Normand?

  Thank you. Italian comedy. You go to Sebastian's show, it's all wops and guineas.

• 40:03Speaker 00

  But I told you the other one, right about the time we did, when Pips closed. So Ray Garvey, you remember Ray Garvey?

• 40:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:09Speaker 00

  He was this retired cop where he, he talked to, but he said, would you do a show if I get Woody Allen to do stand-up and bring you on stage? I go, Ray, stop. And then he told you that. He goes, will you be on? I go, of course I'd be on, but it's not gonna happen. Um.

• 40:25Sam Morril?

  This is the eighties?

• 40:26Speaker 00

  No, this is like nineteen ninety-nine or something.

• 40:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 40:30Speaker 00

  Nineteen ninety-nine, a month later, I'm literally watching Woody Allen onstage at Pips, bringing me onstage.

• 40:38Mark Normand?

  What?

• 40:38Speaker 00

  Doing a couple. Woody Allen.

• 40:40Sam Morril?

  The same wise guy threatened him?

• 40:42Speaker 00

  No, I don't know. I feel like he.

• 40:44Sam Morril?

  How do you get Woody Allen to do stand-up?

• 40:45Speaker 00

  I mean, he was connected to this guy, one of the Hamels from, you know, there, this family from Brooklyn. I, and he was a photographer. Woody Allen was always like, connected to like, like he, he had Tony Suriro and a bunch of his stuff, like Tony Suriro was there, like.

• 41:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's in Bullets Over Broadway.

• 41:01Speaker 00

  He was always connected with a lot of stuff. So Woody Allen goes on and does jokes. They have it on film. Yeah, that's Ray Garvey right there in the middle.

• 41:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's Johnny Sacks.

• 41:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, but on the other side.

• 41:12Speaker 00

  Um.

• 41:12Speaker 01

  Vincent Curtolo, I think.

• 41:13Mark Normand?

  This is Haber.

• 41:15Speaker 00

  Who's that?

• 41:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, Vince.

• 41:16Sam Morril?

  Vincent Curtolo. What, uh, is that the first time Woody was on stage and like, did stand-up in how many years?

• 41:22Speaker 00

  So Woody goes on and does a few jokes, but he, I, anyway, but he.

• 41:28Sam Morril?

  Are they bits from like the old album or?

• 41:29Speaker 00

  No, no, just him doing some bit for, it was like a condom, some condo bit or something. I forget.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Was it funny?

• 41:36Speaker 00

  No, he's just kind of, he, he didn't work on it. He just, this is his first time on stage. I'm watching Woody Allen do stand-up.

• 41:42Mark Normand?

  Holy shit.

• 41:43Speaker 00

  So then I go on and then they, so Ray Garvey, every, you had Danny Aiello was in it. Uh, what's his face, Pat Cooper's in it.

• 41:53Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 41:54Speaker 00

  So Danny Aiello, so they bring in Danny Aiello, he comes in. And he drives his Jaguar and this is, it's all on film somewhere. And then he goes.

• 42:06Speaker 00

  Pat Cooper pulls up in a car service. So Pat Cooper, Pat Cooper's Pat Cooper. He goes, what? Danny Aiello's in his own car. He goes, they send a fucking Jaguar for Danny Aiello? Car service for me? So they go, Pat, no, it's his own car. So Woody Allen, Pat Cooper goes on, they go, Pat, we're just gonna film Pat. Pat goes on and does like thirty minutes just riffing. Like this movie's like, it's hard, everybody's like kind of making it up as they go along. So Pat Cooper just starts riffing. But everybody in there and just life in general, and I'm telling you, it's on film somewhere. It's fucking brilliant.

• 42:45Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 42:46Speaker 00

  Pat Cooper riffed, he was brilliant. And everyone's la, I mean, you know, it's not a great crap, was it? People working and he was just brilliant.

• 42:56Sam Morril?

  I don't really know what Pat Cooper's standup was like. Was it, was it hilarious?

• 42:59Speaker 00

  It was funny. Late, you know, like he never rewrote, in those days they didn't rewrite, you know?

• 43:06Sam Morril?

  But he was just a funny guy.

• 43:07Speaker 00

  When he riffed, he was fucking brilliant.

• 43:08Mark Normand?

  Well, he did tough crap.

• 43:09Speaker 00

  And he did tough crap.

• 43:12Speaker 00

  So funny. So anyway, he finishes his set and he goes, and they go like this. So he finishes, we all start applauding, it was crazy. Woody Allen sitting in the audience and they're filming and he goes, um, and they go, Ray Goff, he goes, thanks, uh, Pat. Um, okay, Woody, thank you for staying for, to get some reaction shots. And he goes, Woody, you can, uh, you know, Woody's leaving now. He just stayed for like, and he goes, thanks, Pat, could you do it again? Now we're gonna.

• 43:40Mark Normand?

  You can't recreate it.

• 43:42Speaker 00

  They're gonna film you. And Pat goes, Pat goes, what? He goes, you know, we just need to, we had to get Rudy's reaction against the leaving us. You want me to, uh, adlib what I just did here? You mean the brilliance that you just did? You weren't filming that. You want me to just do that again? And he goes, oh, you know, Pat, don't be like that. Don't be like what? You know what? Fuck Ray Goffey, fuck Woody Allen.

• 44:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, my god.

• 44:11Speaker 00

  Everybody in this fucking production. You, fuck you. He leaves, goes over to Randazzo's. Uh, Jackie Martin's there, like this is a random, Jackie's like, Pat, gotta go back. Don't tell me, Jackie, fuck you. And all the people are eating lunch at Randazzo's, like Pat Cooper, and all laughing because they're Pat Cooper fans, they know he's great. But it was really funny, it was really.

• 44:34Speaker 01

  Did he go back?

• 44:36Speaker 00

  I don't think he went, I'm, I can't remember. I don't think he did. He might have. But either way, he was never gonna do what he did. What he did was amazing.

• 44:43Mark Normand?

  Man.

• 44:43Speaker 00

  And it never became a film, it was called One Night at Pips, that's the name of it.

• 44:48Sam Morril?

  You're confident it exists somewhere?

• 44:50Speaker 00

  I guess so. Mo, I'll tell you, it does exist. This idiot's movie he made was like, remember that movie with the other comedians?

• 44:59Speaker 01

  I mean, which one? I did a few.

• 45:01Speaker 00

  The one with the porn, where you're making out with a porn star and it's, remember it's like.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  Oh, it was with, that was with Nina Hartley, yeah.

• 45:06Speaker 00

  That was called One Night with something too, I think that's.

• 45:08Speaker 01

  It was, um, I don't know, it was with Brewer and, uh, Otto and George was in it. It was about Otto.

• 45:16Speaker 00

  Jim was in that one.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, uh, it was a short, Adam Dubin directed. I don't remember the name of it, American Dummy, it was called.

• 45:22Speaker 00

  Oh, American Dummy, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, there's a trailer for this, this Pips movie or?

• 45:26Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 45:27Sam Morril?

  No, I think this is just the club.

• 45:29Mark Normand?

  Woody Allen's in this.

• 45:34Mark Normand?

  Did he own it or something, or is he a comic?

• 45:38Speaker 00

  That's his brother. Yeah, Ray, Ray was also a fighter.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  Wasn't he a cop, ex-cop?

• 45:59Speaker 00

  He was an ex-cop. He got fired, he got fired for selling swag back in, back in his police car or something. He had to go to jail for a little while too.

• 46:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, damn.

• 46:10Speaker 01

  Not the best trailer, audio wise.

• 46:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 46:13Speaker 00

  Not a great trailer.

• 46:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, look at that. There he is.

• 46:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's a photo.

• 46:23Sam Morril?

  Weren't you gonna do a Woody Allen movie, Colin?

• 46:25Speaker 00

  I was in a Woody Allen movie, yeah.

• 46:27Sam Morril?

  Which one?

• 46:28Speaker 00

  New York Stories.

• 46:32Speaker 00

  But every day I showed up, cause I didn't, I only knew comedy. The six, six AM call, first day I show up at eight thirty. The second day he goes, who the fuck you think you are? It's eight thirty. I was like, did they get to me? Shit, that's not the fucking way it works. Next day, he goes, you better be here at six. Seven o'clock. Fuck, what the fuck is wrong with you? Third day I show up late. They finally get to me and shoot it, but it was like, it was, it was kind of cool, it was like, to be directed by Woody Allen in the middle of New York, Union Square.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  What was your part?

• 47:04Speaker 00

  I was a cop talking to the mother character, which was a big, with the whole, it was that short film they all did. Wine and Scorsese and somebody else did.

• 47:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and a cop, right?

• 47:15Speaker 00

  So bad they had to cut me out.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  What, what was your dialect? Do you remember any of it?

• 47:20Speaker 00

  I don't. I don't remember, but it was.

• 47:23Sam Morril?

  But weren't you gonna do another one too, when you tore your ACL playing ball on grownups?

• 47:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I was trying to get out, I did, I got out of that. He want, he was gonna use me anyway.

• 47:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 47:32Speaker 00

  And I just got out of it.

• 47:34Mark Normand?

  Why? You felt uncomfortable?

• 47:36Speaker 00

  I don't know, I just felt weirded out.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  About the first performance?

• 47:40Speaker 00

  No, I wasn't embarrassed by that performance. That's a valid question.

• 47:43Mark Normand?

  Were you worried about the controversy of being in a Woody Allen movie?

• 47:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:46Mark Normand?

  I gotcha.

• 47:47Speaker 00

  And I just, it wasn't a great part, it was just like this weird script.

• 47:52Mark Normand?

  Gotcha.

• 47:53Sam Morril?

  What was the part?

• 47:54Speaker 00

  Some sidekick of Jim Belushi, I think.

• 47:56Speaker 01

  Oh, I think great.

• 47:59Speaker 01

  Two peas in a pod.

• 48:00Mark Normand?

  According to Jim. Two. Damn, that's crazy.

• 48:04Sam Morril?

  If you see the, if you see the Colin highlights in Grown Ups, Colin can hoop.

• 48:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, that's what I've heard.

• 48:09Sam Morril?

  Colin's got some game.

• 48:11Speaker 00

  They cut out two of my best moves.

• 48:17Sam Morril?

  I was on the, on the road one day, just threw it on, it was on TV and I was like, holy shit, Colin's got a jumper.

• 48:22Speaker 00

  Sure I did.

• 48:23Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 48:24Sam Morril?

  Didn't you guys all used to play like late night tough crap?

• 48:26Speaker 01

  I would never play though.

• 48:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, we did.

• 48:27Speaker 01

  Go, but I would, there was, and those weird guys from the project showed up, it was like Patrice, Kevin, you would play, who else would go?

• 48:34Speaker 00

  Big Jay.

• 48:34Speaker 01

  Big Jay.

• 48:35Speaker 00

  By the way, Big Jay against Patrice was not that bad of a fucking. Big Jay had a little spin, like for a center.

• 48:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 48:43Speaker 00

  He had that little center spin, he was good.

• 48:45Mark Normand?

  Plus he hits you with that chain wallet.

• 48:49Speaker 00

  And then, um, who else is good? But Kevin could play.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  Didn't Bobby Kelly used to go to that?

• 48:54Speaker 00

  I don't think so.

• 48:54Speaker 01

  Wasn't he there?

• 48:55Sam Morril?

  Bobby Collins has a jumper.

• 48:57Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 48:58Sam Morril?

  Bobby Buckets.

• 48:59Speaker 00

  Bobby can hoop.

• 48:59Sam Morril?

  Dirty ass player, Bobby Collins.

• 49:01Speaker 00

  Bobby can play.

• 49:02Mark Normand?

  I heard Goldman's pretty good.

• 49:03Speaker 00

  Goldman's good.

• 49:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's big.

• 49:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, and he wasn't part of that.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  Kelly used to come to those.

• 49:10Speaker 00

  Maybe just to hang out on the sidelines and, and smoke.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:13Speaker 00

  Bob was not welcome there.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  No.

• 49:16Speaker 00

  You know, um, somebody else who was really good. I can't remember, somebody who was.

• 49:22Mark Normand?

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• 50:07Mark Normand?

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• 50:38Sam Morril?

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• 51:20Sam Morril?

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• 51:56Mark Normand?

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• 52:40Mark Normand?

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• 52:55Sam Morril?

  Kevin James, I feel like, plays sports.

• 52:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 52:57Speaker 00

  Kevin James?

• 52:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's an athlete.

• 52:59Speaker 00

  What do you mean? He was a fucking high school wrestling star.

• 53:01Sam Morril?

  Was he?

• 53:02Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 53:02Speaker 00

  You know, Mankind McFoley?

• 53:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 53:05Speaker 00

  He was idol in high school, went to the same high school, was Kevin James in wrestling.

• 53:09Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 53:09Mark Normand?

  He was a bouncer, I believe, at a nightclub.

• 53:12Speaker 00

  Who was, Kevin James?

• 53:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah. In Long Island.

• 53:14Speaker 00

  Well, he also did comedy, and he forgot, the famous time I met him, outside of, Governors used to have a, a hopping disco in the 80s. I forget what it was called, but it was Uncle Sam's.

• 53:27Mark Normand?

  Hopping disco. I love the new lingo.

• 53:28Speaker 00

  It was popping.

• 53:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:30Mark Normand?

  Popping, baby.

• 53:31Speaker 00

  It was like a real old-school Guido disco in like 1987 and 88. One time I left Governors, I just worked, I was excited, opening for my buddy Bobby Collins, and there was a fucking bat fight outside.

• 53:45Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 53:46Speaker 00

  I saw Kevin James, I go, "You see that?" He's like, "Oh shit."

• 53:49Mark Normand?

  Bats?

• 53:50Speaker 00

  And I brought it up to him, he doesn't remember.

• 53:51Mark Normand?

  Ah. How do you forget a bat fight?

• 53:53Speaker 00

  I mean, yeah. But Bobby Collins used to go to Governors. First time I opened there was for Shirley Hemphill. Do you know who that is?

• 53:59Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 54:00Speaker 00

  She was a comedian.

• 54:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, big black lady?

• 54:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:03Speaker 01

  She was in What's Happening? She played the waitress.

• 54:05Speaker 00

  And she goes on stage in her opening bit, and I was like, "Wow, I can't wait to see, like, for a celebrity do comedy." And she goes, "I love this place. I was driving down here and I stopped at White Castle, and I've been taking White Castle shits all night." I was like, "Oh my God."

• 54:20Mark Normand?

  That's a good opener.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  That's what Shirley Hemphill should open with, though.

• 54:24Mark Normand?

  Yes, that's true.

• 54:26Speaker 01

  That feels right.

• 54:27Sam Morril?

  I'm a diehard fan, though, I hope she does a White Castle shit chunk tonight.

• 54:30Speaker 00

  I was hoping she'd close with that. Even the crowd was like, "Whoa."

• 54:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 54:34Speaker 00

  Ah. But Bobby Collins would go up in Armani, nobody even knew what Armani was, and he'd kill, I mean, I saw him get standing ovations, literally.

• 54:45Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 54:45Speaker 00

  He would look at you halfway through his show and wink. Like, take it up a notch. He would take it up a notch, and by the end of the show, he'd get a fucking standing ovation anytime he wanted, without saying, "Give me a standing ovation." Nobody killed like that fucking guy.

• 55:01Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 55:02Speaker 00

  I worked with him 50 times.

• 55:03Speaker 01

  Would you think that he wasn't gonna follow you?

• 55:05Speaker 00

  Was that?

• 55:06Speaker 01

  Would you think he wasn't gonna follow you?

• 55:07Speaker 00

  You know, it's funny you said that, of course I did. Like, several times, early on, I was like, "He can't follow the shit I just did." That would get your middle is killed.

• 55:16Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 55:16Speaker 00

  Being a middle is the best fucking thing in comedy.

• 55:19Mark Normand?

  Easiest spot.

• 55:19Speaker 00

  People don't realize.

• 55:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, no checks.

• 55:21Speaker 01

  You don't have to warm them up.

• 55:23Mark Normand?

  You don't have to warm them up?

• 55:24Speaker 01

  You don't have to worry about tickets, you just go up there and get big laughs.

• 55:28Speaker 00

  And you think to yourself, "I'm better than the headline."

• 55:30Speaker 01

  Sure, he ain't gonna follow this.

• 55:32Speaker 00

  So funny.

• 55:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, see, comedy felt like, it felt like when it started was kinda Nebbishy, you know, the Woody Allens? And then around the 80s and 90s, it got kinda tough guy. Like, you go to Boston, it was like these Don Gavins, these Lenny Clarks, and then out in Pips, it's these mob guys that had a toughness, and now it feels kind of nice again.

• 55:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, I know what you're saying, it's definitely, it's definitely got like a bloodsport atmosphere to it.

• 55:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah, back in the day.

• 55:59Speaker 00

  You know, and still, I mean, look.

• 56:01Sam Morril?

  Did you feel with their gigs where you guys were like, "I'm in, I'm in trouble"? Like, "This could, this could go bad"?

• 56:06Speaker 01

  I only had one, and that was when I was already established, it was in New Mexico. And I did it, and there were Mexican bikers ran it, and they didn't wanna pay me, and I marched into the office.

• 56:16Mark Normand?

  Uh-oh.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  Um, and I was like, yeah, I was just really being aggressive. I think the guy had a gun on the table.

• 56:22Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 56:23Speaker 01

  And the bouncer came in, it was, "Hey, man, we'll just wait outside." And I realized in that moment, like, "Oh, he's trying to protect me, like, I'm in a bad spot here, 'cause Kenny wasn't with me." So that was the only time I actually felt like, "This could be a fucking problem."

• 56:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  I got the money.

• 56:36Mark Normand?

  You got the money?

• 56:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:38Mark Normand?

  Oh, good.

• 56:38Speaker 00

  Oh, you did?

• 56:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:39Speaker 00

  You feel like they didn't pay you 'cause you look like their little brother?

• 56:43Speaker 01

  No, I don't feel my appearance had anything.

• 56:44Speaker 00

  You look like a small Mexican.

• 56:45Speaker 01

  I understood what you meant. I said they were Mexicans, and you said your little brother.

• 56:50Speaker 00

  I had a few gigs where they attacked me.

• 56:54Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 56:55Speaker 00

  The famous one, when I started, I was opening, I had to follow this music act up in, outside of Rochester, New York, or Buffalo, outside Buffalo, North Tonawanda, and the music guy was this local, upstate kid, and he fucking killed.

• 57:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:15Speaker 00

  But I mean, killed.

• 57:16Mark Normand?

  Music kills.

• 57:17Speaker 00

  He, yeah.

• 57:18Sam Morril?

  Like musical comedy?

• 57:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:20Mark Normand?

  Oof. That's hard to follow.

• 57:21Speaker 00

  Oh my God, did he kill.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Song parodies?

• 57:23Speaker 00

  They changed the, the room.

• 57:24Mark Normand?

  Of course, of course.

• 57:26Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? And then I went up and I bombed, and so halfway through, like, I'm like, "Fuck you, fuck this town." And it's like all the local guys in town, and I'm like, "Fuck this town."

• 57:36Sam Morril?

  You're calling him stupid.

• 57:37Speaker 00

  And they go, "You motherfucker, you're gonna kill me." I go, "Fuck you." And then the owner's like this, or whatever, the booker, "Come here, come here." And I'm like, I come offstage, he had to hide me in the car, on the bottom of the car, they were out there with bats.

• 57:51Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 57:52Speaker 00

  Bat me to death, and I'm on the floor of his car, like, he'd drive me to the airport hotel, and then they didn't pay me, and, you know.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  Didn't get the money.

• 58:00Mark Normand?

  You ever heard that, you remember that book, I Killed? Was that what it's called? Where all the guys tell stories about getting beat up or whatever? The Seinfeld one was crazy.

• 58:07Sam Morril?

  What was that?

• 58:08Mark Normand?

  He was doing a gig, I think it was in New York, and I, he made a joke, and he was kind of struggling, and a guy threw a bottle, and it hit the wall behind him, and he was like, "I'm gonna wait here until they kick that guy out." And the owner goes up and goes, "Come on, get offstage, get offstage, we're gonna sneak you out the back." Apparently it was like a mob guy.

• 58:25Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 58:26Mark Normand?

  And they're like, "We are more scared of him than worried about you."

• 58:29Sam Morril?

  That happened to me at Caroline's once, I was like, struggling, huge asshole, keep talking shit to me in the front row, and then I just said, like, "Throw this fucking guy out," and I think it was Ray Goots was running it back then?

• 58:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, geez.

• 58:41Sam Morril?

  He's not a big guy, and he went over and whispered to him, and the guy just went like this, he went, and I was like, "All right."

• 58:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, what'd he do there?

• 58:47Sam Morril?

  So I said to just keep, like, you have no respect from the crowd after that. Get rid of this guy, no? All right?

• 58:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 58:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it was brutal.

• 58:55Speaker 00

  I was in Ohio once, and this big, he was drunk, this big, like, he looked like an ex-football guy, he just, I was busting, he started talking too much, I started fucking, you know, I was in a cranky mood, and I'm like, "Shut the fuck up, fuck you." He rushed to the stage, fucking grabs me. Luckily, a couple of the owner friends were there that were also big, there was no bouncer, grab him, and he's, they're dragging him off, and he goes, "Fuck you, Colin Quinn." He said my name.

• 59:23Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  I certainly understand the emotion.

• 59:29Sam Morril?

  Those gigs, I remember Late Night at Comics were back in the day too, they would just be like, you're going on like three hours into the show, those crowds suck.

• 59:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, the night.

• 59:36Sam Morril?

  And I remember, there was a table of seven dudes, I'm just, five minutes, I'm bombing, they're just shit talking me the whole set. And they're just like, "You fucking suck." And then one of them goes, "I'm gonna kick your fucking ass." And I was like, "No one's gonna do anything." One of the bartenders comes in the room, I was like, "Can someone do something?" And he was like, "He said he didn't say that."

• 59:55Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 59:56Sam Morril?

  That was it, he goes, "He said he's gonna fucking rush me," and he goes, "He said he didn't." And I was like, "Alright."

• 1:00:00Mark Normand?

  I mean, how many times you get fucked with and you see the bouncer? Cause the problem with comedy, it doesn't happen that often where a guy charges a stage, and the bouncer's like, "This is a sweet gig, I can dick around on my phone." I see the bouncer all the time, and I'm like, "What are we gonna do here?" And then they wait till you get tackled before they do anything.

• 1:00:14Sam Morril?

  You've seen the bouncer's just sitting down, just playing like video games.

• 1:00:17Mark Normand?

  All the time.

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  Danger Fields was the worst, they would never defend the comic, they just wanted you, cause I heard that there were some illegal influences that perhaps were involved.

• 1:00:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:00:27Speaker 01

  And they just didn't want the police involved at all, so Chario, who was the waiter there, if people were talking, he would go, "Here's what you tell them." "Hey, don't bother me, pal, I'm doing my act." That was the advice he gave the comedian.

• 1:00:40Speaker 00

  Sage advice.

• 1:00:41Mark Normand?

  Don't bother me.

• 1:00:42Speaker 00

  Sometimes you have to say the obvious.

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. But that's why I stopped working there, they would never protect you if people were fucking talking, they would just leave them there.

• 1:00:51Mark Normand?

  Jesus Christ. The worst is I hate the, you get heckled, and then you go, "Hey, will you shut the fuck up?" And the guy goes, "You're a comedian, you can't handle it?" And I'm like, "Well, I'm handling it, right now, I hate this."

• 1:01:02Sam Morril?

  Then you go to plan B, "I'm trying to do my act."

• 1:01:04Mark Normand?

  Yes, "Don't bother me."

• 1:01:06Speaker 00

  Hey, pal.

• 1:01:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:07Sam Morril?

  Hey, pal.

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  That was the worst advice from somebody who just didn't wanna help.

• 1:01:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  I'll tell people sometimes, like, "Hey, these people paid to hear me."

• 1:01:17Speaker 00

  I'll tell you the guy, my friend always does a service, some guy in Denver that was drunk, and he went on stage, he's doing his act, but he's drunk, and the crowd starts heckling him, he goes,

• 1:01:27Speaker 00

  he just started crying, a comedian crying on stage.

• 1:01:31Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:01:32Speaker 00

  Like, he just was drunk, so he's, for some reason, the heckling got to him, and he just started crying.

• 1:01:36Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  I get it, though, I fucking get it.

• 1:01:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I mean, I've done that later, but you don't do that on stage, Jesus Christ.

• 1:01:44Speaker 00

  The one thing you can never do, crying.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  That's also fucking phenomenal, like, I would love to have a good crying on stage.

• 1:01:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  It's humiliating.

• 1:01:53Sam Morril?

  The first time a heckler's like, "Alright, I'm sorry, dude."

• 1:01:55Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:01:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's insane.

• 1:01:58Speaker 00

  Well, how about DiPaolo? He's punched two hecklers, one in Seattle, one in Boston, both the clubs are named Giggles.

• 1:02:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, really? Coast to coast.

• 1:02:07Speaker 00

  How funny is that?

• 1:02:08Sam Morril?

  Didn't he knock one of them out?

• 1:02:09Speaker 00

  People came for Giggles, well, one guy, he broke his leg, he didn't break his leg, some other customers took the guy outside and broke his leg, and then,

• 1:02:18Mark Normand?

  Had giggles.

• 1:02:19Speaker 00

  Like, two years later, he DMs DiPaolo or something, and he goes, "Hey, remember me, I'm the guy you got, he, the heckler you had a fight with." And then he broke my leg.

• 1:02:30Speaker 01

  Was he mad at him, or was he going, "Hey?"

• 1:02:31Speaker 00

  No, he was just like, "Hey."

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:02:33Sam Morril?

  I was drunk.

• 1:02:34Speaker 00

  "Remember me, old pal."

• 1:02:36Mark Normand?

  I love the guys who are tough as shit, who are like, "We're going to Giggles tonight."

• 1:02:39Speaker 00

  Yes, exactly.

• 1:02:40Mark Normand?

  "What are you doing later?"

• 1:02:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I had a story in my act, like, back in the day, about a guy who tried to beat the shit out of me, and then, he had my number somehow from a drunken night, and he messaged me, he's like, "Oh, that bit's pretty funny, man." And I was like, "You know you're like the bad guy in that bit."

• 1:02:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:02:55Sam Morril?

  You know, you like tried to fucking, yeah, yeah, it was definitely him.

• 1:02:58Speaker 00

  But he knew that he was the guy?

• 1:03:00Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah, he knew he was the bad guy in the bit, but he messaged me like we were.

• 1:03:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, "How'd they get your number?"

• 1:03:06Sam Morril?

  Because I was trying to hook up with some girl he was with.

• 1:03:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, I know the story.

• 1:03:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, it was like a whole thing, but in Cleveland, but yeah, I remember, he was like, he got in my face, and was like, "I'll fuck you up," and I completely backed down, I was like, "Yeah, I don't wanna."

• 1:03:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's a local guy, there's nothing worse than a local guy getting mad that you're trying to fuck a local girl.

• 1:03:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:24Sam Morril?

  They weren't together, but they were like,

• 1:03:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's the guy friend.

• 1:03:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:27Mark Normand?

  Right, that's a tough move.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  Stinks, yeah.

• 1:03:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but it was hilarious to do, like, "Oh, he has my fucking phone number, this lunatic."

• 1:03:35Speaker 00

  I remember, yeah, when Stand, when Stand Up New Yorker first opened, there was a comedian, some guys were in the crowd from the 80s, and this guy walks out, and he goes, "That was really rude, we just, my girlfriend." And, and the guy's like, "Fuck you, it's comedy, it's my act," and he starts walking, he goes, "No, wait," he goes, bang, and just fucking quartered him in the butt, and the guy just dropped.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  This is all he caught at the bar?

• 1:03:58Mark Normand?

  Damn. Yeah, I've heard, tell me if this is lore, but I heard somebody answered the phone, like a flip phone, in front of DiPaolo while he was doing a set, and he took the phone, and he goes, "Fuck you," closes it, and put it in the guy's Diet Coke.

• 1:04:12Sam Morril?

  That's real.

• 1:04:12Mark Normand?

  Is that real?

• 1:04:13Sam Morril?

  I mean, that's from List, he was there.

• 1:04:14Mark Normand?

  Okay, that's a crazy story.

• 1:04:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and then the guy wanted him to buy him a new phone, and he was like, "Alright, fine," and then he said how much, and he was like, "No, fuck you, I'm not spending that."

• 1:04:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:04:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but he took the guy's phone, dunked it in his rum and coke, and started sipping it on stage.

• 1:04:27Mark Normand?

  That's pretty masculine.

• 1:04:28Speaker 00

  I mean, when you said it, there's no, for no second did I think it was not real.

• 1:04:33Speaker 01

  I thought, maybe, the only thing maybe is you got the beverage wrong.

• 1:04:36Sam Morril?

  It was a Jack and Coke.

• 1:04:37Mark Normand?

  Sorry, sorry.

• 1:04:40Mark Normand?

  That's gotta be pretty sad.

• 1:04:41Speaker 00

  But don't you guys feel like it's gotten, like, now the crowd's chomping at the bit for crowd work?

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:46Mark Normand?

  Sometime, not my crowd.

• 1:04:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah, not on the road, I do like an hour, and then I'll do like, questions at the end, like, fuck around a little at the end, but I gotta get the jokes out, you know?

• 1:04:54Speaker 00

  I feel like they want it, though.

• 1:04:56Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:04:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:57Sam Morril?

  At the Cellar?

• 1:04:58Speaker 00

  No, just in general.

• 1:05:00Mark Normand?

  I hope not, but, I hate all the content, everybody has to get content, you gotta get to hire a guy all the time, but I do wish those Diet Coke, DiPaolo moments were on film. Wouldn't that be great, if that was just out there?

• 1:05:11Speaker 00

  Like the famous guy who's Mexican, you know that one?

• 1:05:13Mark Normand?

  That's a great one.

• 1:05:14Sam Morril?

  Oh, Jesus Christ. What's a grandpa moment?

• 1:05:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, you got the light on, too.

• 1:05:18Speaker 00

  See?

• 1:05:20Mark Normand?

  This guy turned his phone off immediately.

• 1:05:22Sam Morril?

  Phone's giving him the light?

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  What was that? What was that, is that Siri? I don't know.

• 1:05:32Mark Normand?

  I think it was Directions of some kind.

• 1:05:34Speaker 00

  That was a real Bruce Willis moment.

• 1:05:39Mark Normand?

  Afasia.

• 1:05:43Mark Normand?

  Got old Joe's Pizza here.

• 1:05:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah, how was it?

• 1:05:45Speaker 00

  Bruce Willis is a love comedy, yeah.

• 1:05:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:47Speaker 00

  He used to go to the Rock in LA all the time.

• 1:05:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, cool.

• 1:05:49Speaker 00

  He was friends with Domarera.

• 1:05:51Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  He lived in my building on the west side.

• 1:05:54Speaker 00

  He did?

• 1:05:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I did one scene in Cop Out with Tracy, and him, and he was apparently very difficult on set, but when I met him, I'm like, "Yeah, we live at the," I gave the address, he goes, "Oh," and he was very, was very nice to me. My one experience with Bruce Willis was very kind, I'll tell you, he has a giant dick.

• 1:06:11Mark Normand?

  He's very nice now.

• 1:06:11Speaker 01

  He has a giant penis.

• 1:06:12Mark Normand?

  He never talks back.

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, I heard that too.

• 1:06:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I was in some Korean deli once, and he just walked in and took photos with everybody, he was like, super friendly to everybody.

• 1:06:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's like a nice guy.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:06:21Mark Normand?

  Is that Will?

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  Is that him?

• 1:06:23Mark Normand?

  What you talking about?

• 1:06:24Sam Morril?

  That's Bruce Willis's penis.

• 1:06:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow, that was easy, that you could find, this, we couldn't find Woody Allen all day, we got Bruce Willis's dick in two seconds.

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  He's packing, that's good.

• 1:06:32Speaker 00

  That's not Woody Allen, I mean, that's not Bruce Willis.

• 1:06:35Sam Morril?

  You don't think so?

• 1:06:35Mark Normand?

  Scroll up.

• 1:06:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, let's see his face.

• 1:06:38Mark Normand?

  The mouth looks the same.

• 1:06:39Speaker 00

  Maybe it could be, yeah.

• 1:06:43Sam Morril?

  I feel like it shouldn't be that easy.

• 1:06:45Speaker 00

  I'll tell you what, pal, what about the,

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  That was good Bruce Willis.

• 1:06:49Mark Normand?

  He's die soft.

• 1:06:53Mark Normand?

  Sorry.

• 1:06:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, he's got a gun in his ass.

• 1:06:56Speaker 00

  He died soft, that's funny.

• 1:06:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, thanks. Alright, alright, alright, alright, come on, what is this, O and A? Take it easy.

• 1:07:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I like that you found one of them spread eagle, what the fuck was that? That was horrible.

• 1:07:09Speaker 00

  Bruce would never do that.

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  My greatest moment, my greatest moment on O and A was Bobby was in studio, and he gets nauseous looking at certain things.

• 1:07:16Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:17Speaker 01

  And,

• 1:07:18Sam Morril?

  Salads?

• 1:07:23Mark Normand?

  That was a one-two.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  No, but like, he can't handle like a pink socked, open asshole.

• 1:07:30Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, I get that.

• 1:07:32Speaker 01

  And I got him to puke, he was talking about something, I just caught him off guard, and he went, Bobby puked, there's nothing funnier than Bobby telling Bobby.

• 1:07:39Speaker 00

  You also got him with Two Girls, One Cup.

• 1:07:42Speaker 01

  Did we?

• 1:07:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:43Sam Morril?

  You used to get everyone with that, though, right?

• 1:07:45Mark Normand?

  That's heavy, I don't like it.

• 1:07:46Sam Morril?

  I don't like that shit, it's disgusting.

• 1:07:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, fucking sitting there with a hard on.

• 1:07:51Speaker 00

  Vile, vile.

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  That doesn't bother me at all, like, it's not sexy, but it's like, bleh.

• 1:07:57Speaker 00

  Wait, what movie is that from?

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  Dog Day.

• 1:08:01Speaker 00

  No, it's not.

• 1:08:01Speaker 01

  Yes, it is.

• 1:08:02Sam Morril?

  Yes, it is.

• 1:08:02Speaker 00

  It's from Bobby, it's from Bobby Deerfield.

• 1:08:04Sam Morril?

  Nah, it's Dog Day.

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  He wore a racing helmet in that one.

• 1:08:09Mark Normand?

  That's Grown Ups 2.

• 1:08:12Speaker 00

  Did you saw it?

• 1:08:13Mark Normand?

  You ever miss the old O and A days, or was that, was that a lot?

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  Every minute of every day.

• 1:08:17Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:08:17Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:08:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, seriously? That's a lot of work, getting up that early.

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  It was fun, yeah.

• 1:08:21Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:08:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but you stay, like, you're up early, and you're still, you're at the Cellar every night, I mean, that's pretty, that was pretty impressive.

• 1:08:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, we'd get up at five at one point.

• 1:08:29Sam Morril?

  It's crazy.

• 1:08:30Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:08:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, it sucked, but it was great, it was fun.

• 1:08:33Mark Normand?

  I mean, it's some legendary moments.

• 1:08:34Speaker 01

  It was a fun time.

• 1:08:35Speaker 00

  It was great.

• 1:08:36Mark Normand?

  And that's where Patrice got to really, what do you say, have two specials? But we have, we have so much, so many hours of him on the radio.

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  Talking, yeah.

• 1:08:44Mark Normand?

  Getting him and Louis together, him and Burr together, I mean, Maren and Joe Rogan fight, there's so much.

• 1:08:49Speaker 01

  Did they fight on the show?

• 1:08:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:08:51Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't remember.

• 1:08:52Mark Normand?

  Well, it was a phone call.

• 1:08:53Sam Morril?

  I remember, I remember where Biglia and Vos fight.

• 1:08:55Mark Normand?

  Yes, that was great. That was great.

• 1:08:58Speaker 01

  I think where Biglia's hated me ever since.

• 1:09:02Mark Normand?

  Bill Burr and him, yeah, went out of,

• 1:09:03Speaker 01

  Bill Burr and who?

• 1:09:05Mark Normand?

  Burbiglia.

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  Did they?

• 1:09:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  Maybe I wasn't in, a lot of times, Bill would fill in if I was gone, if I was on the road, Bill would do it, but Bill and Patrice would go in, but, yeah, so many, I never listened to it, but there's so many moments.

• 1:09:16Sam Morril?

  I feel like Patrice being alive now, like, he would have had so many just awesome takes on everything, it's just, it's such a, it's such a loss.

• 1:09:22Speaker 00

  It's only because we make fun of these fuckers.

• 1:09:23Sam Morril?

  I know, but I, I know I do, but,

• 1:09:26Speaker 00

  What if Patrice were here? We have to deal with it every goddamn.

• 1:09:30Sam Morril?

  I know, but, but losing him and Geraldo is crazy, though, it is, him and Geraldo being gone is crazy.

• 1:09:35Speaker 00

  It is crazy.

• 1:09:35Sam Morril?

  Cause we, as young comics, were like, "Oh, we wanted to know them."

• 1:09:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:09:40Sam Morril?

  But,

• 1:09:40Speaker 01

  He would like, I always think he would love that, though, knowing that we're still being tortured with people telling us.

• 1:09:46Speaker 00

  Everything we do, there's one person like, "Patrice would rip you apart."

• 1:09:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, imagine if Patrice heard this? I was, my wife had people over, and one of her friends,

• 1:09:56Speaker 00

  For the Norway game?

• 1:09:57Speaker 01

  No, it's funny you should say that, it was just for a get-together, and one of the guys was just telling me how, while he was drunk, he just kept talking about Patrice, and how much he loved Patrice.

• 1:10:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, the Scandinavians always run their mouths about Patrice.

• 1:10:08Speaker 01

  But he wasn't, no, he wasn't Scandinavian, he was someone who you look at, "Oh, yeah, he likes Patrice."

• 1:10:12Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:10:13Speaker 01

  Patrice, I thought, he would really enjoy this, knowing that I'm being tortured all these years.

• 1:10:18Sam Morril?

  Every podcast you go on, people bringing up Patrice forever.

• 1:10:21Speaker 00

  They don't say, "You're the first person that said that to us."

• 1:10:25Mark Normand?

  But he was a scary guy, I met him once, and I steered clear.

• 1:10:28Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, he was a funny, he was, He could be mean.

• 1:10:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:32Sam Morril?

  I mean, you fired him from Tough Crowd, right?

• 1:10:34Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:35Speaker 01

  Did you fire him or was it, I remember when the show started, he wasn't on.

• 1:10:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, I fired him.

• 1:10:39Speaker 01

  You guys were in a fight, yeah.

• 1:10:40Speaker 00

  Cause we had a fight.

• 1:10:41Sam Morril?

  What was the fight about?

• 1:10:43Speaker 00

  I forget, but it wasn't show related, it was just at the table. I was like, fuck you, and I fired him, and then.

• 1:10:50Sam Morril?

  How'd you fire him? You just said, you're fired?

• 1:10:51Speaker 00

  I just said, you're never gonna be on the fuck show, go do your own fuck. Oh, I know what it was. These ingrates, I don't know if Jim was part of this. They were complaining about the money they got paid on the NBC show. These dummies who never even understood how much you make. They didn't understand the concept, it's not a fucking sitcom.

• 1:11:08Mark Normand?

  It's scale.

• 1:11:09Speaker 00

  It's a late night show. So like, so Patrice and a couple of other dudes, I don't know if Jim was.

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  You're not talking into the mic.

• 1:11:16Speaker 00

  What's that?

• 1:11:16Speaker 01

  You're not talking.

• 1:11:17Speaker 00

  He's probably part of it, Jim was probably part of it.

• 1:11:19Mark Normand?

  I get you.

• 1:11:20Speaker 00

  They started bellyaching about their money, Keith, you know, and. So I go, fuck you then, you've, you're fucking, you're fired from the fucking new show. And then he brought his mother up, and I had to sit with him and his mother. And then I rehired him that day.

• 1:11:38Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:11:40Speaker 01

  The money, Tough Crowd was supposed to pay a certain thing, I think like a grand an episode. But then the network cut it, and I remember you took me upstairs from the cellar. And you're like, look, I know we discussed this, but this is what it was gonna be. It wasn't your fault, and this accountant I had at the time, I told him, he goes, I wouldn't do it if I were you.

• 1:11:58Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:11:59Speaker 01

  I was just crazy, I'm like, I didn't listen to him, of course. Which I wouldn't do it, and I never cared about them.

• 1:12:04Mark Normand?

  Was it cut in half?

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  Almost, yeah.

• 1:12:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, jeez.

• 1:12:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, but he brought his mom to this thing, that was the funniest thing, I'm sitting there going, it's fucking, and she goes, I don't know what to do with him.

• 1:12:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow, but you can't fire a guy in front of his mom, that's tough.

• 1:12:18Speaker 00

  No, I re, this is why I rehired him, he brought him in for the rehire.

• 1:12:21Mark Normand?

  Oof.

• 1:12:22Speaker 00

  And everybody was like, saying, you gotta bring him back, you know?

• 1:12:26Mark Normand?

  For a tough guy, that's kind of a bitch move, let me get my mom in here, she'll get me rehired.

• 1:12:30Speaker 00

  It wasn't a bitch move, it was more like, he saw me as like, you know, the white, uh.

• 1:12:35Mark Normand?

  A presser.

• 1:12:36Speaker 00

  Uh, no, no, like, like just some figure in, where you bring your mom to the school to get back into the.

• 1:12:41Mark Normand?

  Oh, you were the principal. Got it.

• 1:12:45Sam Morril?

  It is a kid move.

• 1:12:46Mark Normand?

  It's kid move.

• 1:12:47Speaker 00

  But his mom was great, she was, you know.

• 1:12:50Mark Normand?

  She got it.

• 1:12:50Speaker 00

  She wasn't like begging, she was just like, hey, I don't know what to do with him either.

• 1:12:54Mark Normand?

  He's a nightmare.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  Was the show on the air already when you fired him, or was it just, was it on the air already?

• 1:12:59Speaker 00

  No, it was between the episodes on NBC and then it became, so he wasn't on for the first.

• 1:13:05Mark Normand?

  Wait a minute, the show went to NBC?

• 1:13:07Speaker 01

  It started on NBC.

• 1:13:08Speaker 00

  It started on NBC, three episodes.

• 1:13:09Sam Morril?

  I didn't know that.

• 1:13:10Speaker 00

  I mean, that was the real show, forget Tough Crowd was called The Colin Quinn Show. That's a catchy title.

• 1:13:14Speaker 01

  It was, uh, yeah, it was a real, it should have gotten picked up, it was very funny.

• 1:13:18Speaker 00

  It was really funny, but they were, they hated it.

• 1:13:20Speaker 01

  Did they? It was live on a Monday night on.

• 1:13:22Speaker 00

  People don't realize, even in those days, ethnic, it was such an ethnic show, they were horrified. Horrified.

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  And we would do a million of our act, with the town hall, or town square, whatever it was called. Was the segment that we would do, we would just sit there and do a minute.

• 1:13:37Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:13:37Speaker 01

  It was pre-planned material into camera.

• 1:13:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:41Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:13:41Speaker 00

  And then they, uh, yeah, they, they didn't like that at all.

• 1:13:44Speaker 01

  Rosie was on right after she came out of the closet, and you guys were, you wanted to do, she's like, I just came out, I can't say this stuff.

• 1:13:49Speaker 00

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:13:51Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:13:52Sam Morril?

  But they, but they canceled and Comedy Central just swooped in and grabbed it?

• 1:13:55Speaker 00

  Comedy Central swooped.

• 1:13:59Mark Normand?

  Pull up the NBC one if you can, I just wanna see what it looked like, cause I never saw that.

• 1:14:03Speaker 00

  And then the, um.

• 1:14:05Mark Normand?

  The cable's better, cause you can be a little more blue.

• 1:14:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:07Speaker 00

  Um, yeah, a little bit, but I mean, when you're doing it on net, it's like, how it started, how it started was better when it wasn't.

• 1:14:14Mark Normand?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:14:16Speaker 00

  Cause you're like, gee, you shouldn't be saying this, this is going out.

• 1:14:18Mark Normand?

  Right, I see what you're saying.

• 1:14:19Speaker 00

  So that way, it was, it was something totally different, you know what I mean?

• 1:14:23Mark Normand?

  I never knew it was on NBC.

• 1:14:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean, Comedy Central never told you not to do a bit, right? Or did they?

• 1:14:28Speaker 00

  Um, they tried to a couple of times.

• 1:14:30Speaker 01

  The act threes, they would always give a hard time with certain things.

• 1:14:32Speaker 00

  They would give, a lot of, a lot of times, they would just be like, I mean, they'd be angry about a lot of stuff. Then, yeah, they were angry about a lot of stuff, but at one point, the big one to me, was they said, we don't want anybody saying the N-word on the show. And.

• 1:14:51Mark Normand?

  Even the N-word?

• 1:14:52Speaker 00

  I said, but.

• 1:14:54Mark Normand?

  Even the N-word?

• 1:14:56Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:14:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow, that's pretty crazy.

• 1:14:58Speaker 00

  I was like, but Chappelle's on, uh, and earlier than us. And you let them say it, so then they're like, well, but still, and they, I forget, we had a lot.

• 1:15:09Sam Morril?

  It's funny that the time is the issue with the N-word.

• 1:15:12Speaker 00

  Well, for me, I was saying.

• 1:15:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I know, but it's just funny that like at 11pm, it's okay.

• 1:15:17Speaker 00

  It was the, all the drama was usually based around content, which just put me in a bad mood.

• 1:15:23Speaker 01

  You came to us and you said once that they said to you, hey, look, uh, Jon Stewart's got politics, we want you guys to do pop culture. Cause Dave, Chappelle's got race, Jon Stewart has pop culture, Jon Stewart has politics, you guys do, and you go, these guys will fucking kill me if I just come with pop culture stuff.

• 1:15:39Speaker 00

  I said, if I come on, if I come on the show and go, hey, guys, what do you think of Paris Hilton's late? They'll destroy me, rightfully so.

• 1:15:46Mark Normand?

  Of course.

• 1:15:47Speaker 00

  They'll kill me.

• 1:15:48Mark Normand?

  Were you, were you nervous to be on, I know you ran the show, but were you nervous, Jim? Cause the show is so much improvising on camera, on TV, in front of a live crowd, so you gotta, gotta be on your toes.

• 1:15:59Speaker 00

  Who's that, Muggie Wilson?

• 1:16:00Speaker 01

  Friends.

• 1:16:02Sam Morril?

  Oh, my God, look at Nick.

• 1:16:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:04Mark Normand?

  It just, and these guys are all murderers, you know, you just, you wanna kill it, you don't wanna be humiliated.

• 1:16:09Speaker 00

  Jim killed every episode.

• 1:16:10Mark Normand?

  I mean, Jim was great, I'm just saying.

• 1:16:11Speaker 01

  But you could hit as hard as you wanted with, with, Patrice got mad at me one time, on Tough Crowd, cause he thought I was trying to sabotage him. Cause I kept do, I don't even remember what I was doing, but he got really like legit angry at me, thought I was trying to make him look bad on TV.

• 1:16:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, jeez.

• 1:16:24Speaker 01

  And then afterwards, I'm like, you fucking idiot, you don't know.

• 1:16:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah, all he does is trash people on that show.

• 1:16:27Speaker 01

  I know, but it was like, he just read something wrong.

• 1:16:30Mark Normand?

  Got it, got it.

• 1:16:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:16:32Speaker 01

  I don't remember what it was.

• 1:16:32Speaker 00

  I mean, I was definitely proud of everybody, you know, like, I feel like everybody, all the regulars really listened to the mission statement, which is they weren't trying to pander. Like, there was no applause allowed on the show, this is my proudest thing at the show.

• 1:16:45Mark Normand?

  Good for you.

• 1:16:46Speaker 00

  Anybody, when I came out, I wouldn't allow applause, it's just a mistake in retrospect, but.

• 1:16:50Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:16:50Speaker 00

  So I came out at the beginning.

• 1:16:51Speaker 01

  But it wasn't a tough sell.

• 1:16:55Speaker 00

  Oh, do the monologue.

• 1:16:56Sam Morril?

  We did my favorite thing of any late night host, where you, when you'd miss a joke, you'd be like, hey, I knew that one was a stinker. Like, no one, no one ever does that.

• 1:17:04Mark Normand?

  You never saw that.

• 1:17:05Speaker 01

  We used to have to submit.

• 1:17:06Speaker 00

  I'll tell you, you used to do that, Johnny Carson.

• 1:17:08Sam Morril?

  Oh, okay. Well, no one of our era, really, right?

• 1:17:11Speaker 00

  Johnny Carson would be like, whoa, but he didn't write his own shit, everything I wrote was my own.

• 1:17:15Speaker 01

  Do you remember, it was an act three, sorry, it was an act three, we had to submit in advance.

• 1:17:20Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:17:20Speaker 01

  And there was one I submitted, which was awful, it just stunk, but you made sure that I kept it, because you knew it was gonna bomb, it was a Pac-Man going waka, waka, waka, and I. I did it, and it just absolutely bombed, and you're like, no, no, just let him, let him.

• 1:17:36Speaker 00

  The thing of the show, we would just, we had those moments inside baseball, where like, where somebody tried to get pandered to the audience, you get like clapped there.

• 1:17:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:45Speaker 00

  Oh, the crowd liked that, you're, you're a good person.

• 1:17:48Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:17:48Speaker 00

  We just fucking killed it.

• 1:17:49Sam Morril?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:17:50Mark Normand?

  I remember one time, uh, Nick bombed a joke, and Patrice goes, he'd be bombing a joke, and he took a coffee sip, and, and, uh, Patrice goes, take another sip of timing.

• 1:17:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:17:59Mark Normand?

  And that's gotta sting on TV, like, it's true.

• 1:18:04Speaker 00

  And one, and, uh, but one of the best meta, uh, inside baseball, was, I called, I called Jim and Linda, you know, Linda, the waitress from the cellar?

• 1:18:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, Linda.

• 1:18:14Speaker 01

  By the way, you're still wrong about this.

• 1:18:17Speaker 00

  Jim was, uh, she was talking about Martin Luther King and stuff like that, and Jim was being a very, a great ally to Black people. I said, this son of a bitch is trying to bang Linda, and then, so the next day, I called her up, and I said, do you wanna come on the show for an act three? And confront Jim, and we'll have like a, and so it was me, him, and her, and we sat down, and Jim didn't expect it, but he, he handled it very well.

• 1:18:44Speaker 01

  I do remember that, she was good to.

• 1:18:45Sam Morril?

  Confronted you on air about it?

• 1:18:46Speaker 00

  I brought her up, so do you feel that, she was so nice, but I go, do you feel that Jim was possibly pandering to you? Just to possibly, yeah, have sex, and she goes, I honestly did feel, it did cross my.

• 1:19:01Speaker 00

  Jim goes, well, listen, I believe very strongly what you said. It was so funny, it was a surprise, third act.

• 1:19:10Mark Normand?

  You gotta bring this show back.

• 1:19:12Speaker 01

  I just saw a picture from that episode, uh, of me, you, her, and Greg, I just saw a photo from, it was on air, yeah.

• 1:19:18Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:19:19Speaker 00

  Jim's favorite thing, he demanded, he goes, when you do the Colin episode, you have to have me on.

• 1:19:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, you did.

• 1:19:26Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:19:27Speaker 00

  Colin being on was great.

• 1:19:28Mark Normand?

  That was exciting, that, you had Carlin, Seinfeld, Chappelle, young Chappelle, young Kevin Hart.

• 1:19:33Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:19:34Mark Normand?

  You had everybody.

• 1:19:34Sam Morril?

  You did the whole thing on the show, where you would, you would ask someone a question, then slam the door in their face.

• 1:19:38Speaker 01

  That wasn't even on the show, that was just literally before the show, in the green room.

• 1:19:42Speaker 00

  Did that too, yeah.

• 1:19:42Speaker 01

  Just the other guests.

• 1:19:44Sam Morril?

  But I remember, but you said the only people you chickened out were, were Paul Mooney and, and Carlin, was there anyone else I'm missing?

• 1:19:50Speaker 01

  No, I, I think probably, I'm guessing it was just those two, Carlin, I wouldn't have done it too, but I, I just couldn't.

• 1:19:55Speaker 00

  He was, he was so funny, he would, he would ask somebody a question, this is backstage, in the green room, and then when they'd answer, he'd let the door go. And they'd be in the middle of answering, and you'd see the door, and you'd see their face.

• 1:20:07Mark Normand?

  That's hilarious.

• 1:20:09Speaker 00

  They were like, guests, like people.

• 1:20:12Speaker 00

  As the door shut, he just let it go.

• 1:20:14Speaker 01

  You always knew if someone was funny.

• 1:20:16Speaker 00

  So funny.

• 1:20:17Speaker 01

  If they, if they went with that, like.

• 1:20:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, someone would laugh.

• 1:20:20Mark Normand?

  Doesn't feel like a lot of comics would go with that now, honestly.

• 1:20:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:24Mark Normand?

  Also, you had Patton Oswalt on, you had all these, do you feel like it was just, it was just comics, it wasn't like a divide?

• 1:20:30Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:20:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:32Mark Normand?

  Now it feels way more divided, and I hate it.

• 1:20:34Speaker 01

  They weren't as babyish back then about, you know.

• 1:20:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:37Speaker 01

  Like, Janine and Nick were friends, like, you know, they were opposites.

• 1:20:41Mark Normand?

  Of course, of course.

• 1:20:42Speaker 00

  It was a different, it was. Yeah, I wonder if I, but I mean, what would I have done, they, they canceled it, it's not like it was happening.

• 1:20:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:50Speaker 00

  But you could always, uh, podcast.

• 1:20:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it was great, I remember this one, one moment, I used to get drunk and watch this, me and Soder did a gig once, and got hammered back when he was drinking, we watched like nine hours of it. But there's a scene where Patrice is just off, he's just not having a good night, and he's bombing every joke, and DiPaolo is commenting on every bomb. And it's a beautiful thing, cause you never see Patrice go down, he was always the dominant one. And DiPaolo is just zigging, he called him Star Jones at one point, I mean, it was gold.

• 1:21:24Speaker 00

  DiPaolo's very, yeah, I mean, I told you that, Patrice, I must have said that on the show now, at the time, the one time it was over, Patrice vulnerably comes up to early Tough Crowd. And he goes, my mother's a Nick DiPaolo, me and DiPaolo sitting at the table, I told you this. And I go, he was sitting at the table, me and Nick, he goes, my mother's a Nick DiPaolo fan, she thinks Nick's like a handsome guy, my mother loves Nick DiPaolo. Like this nice moment, and DiPaolo, they didn't look at him, he just looked at me and goes, great, now I know my demographic, school cafeteria work.

• 1:21:56Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 1:21:57Speaker 00

  Patrice goes, "Oh my god." Nick's an asshole. Oh my god.

• 1:22:03Mark Normand?

  Boy, his mom was around a lot, huh?

• 1:22:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, she was.

• 1:22:05Mark Normand?

  I feel like, "Quit bringing your fucking mom around. We're trying to have a good time here."

• 1:22:07Speaker 00

  She was around.

• 1:22:08Speaker 01

  She was very fun, though. Like, she was, you know.

• 1:22:10Speaker 00

  She was.

• 1:22:10Speaker 01

  They, like, when you saw her, you're like, "Yeah, that's Patrice's mom."

• 1:22:14Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:22:15Sam Morril?

  That's fun.

• 1:22:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:22:16Mark Normand?

  Got it. Fat and black. I assume, I assume.

• 1:22:22Speaker 01

  That's a great, great guess.

• 1:22:23Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:22:27Mark Normand?

  How else would you know?

• 1:22:27Speaker 00

  That's the unadorned version.

• 1:22:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:31Speaker 01

  There you are. You're not incorrect.

• 1:22:33Speaker 05

  Hey, guys, have any peeves? We do pet peeves on this show.

• 1:22:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. I don't know if they prepped you with that.

• 1:22:38Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 1:22:38Speaker 01

  No, I've done the show, but I forgot that part.

• 1:22:42Speaker 05

  All right. Working on any bits?

• 1:22:43Sam Morril?

  Oh, all right, enough.

• 1:22:46Mark Normand?

  He was trying to direct.

• 1:22:47Speaker 01

  Wait, pet peeve? I'd love to hear your pet peeve.

• 1:22:49Speaker 00

  Oh, I've got a number of them, as you can imagine.

• 1:22:52Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:22:53Speaker 00

  My latest pet peeves? Oh, I mean.

• 1:22:58Mark Normand?

  You got one?

• 1:23:00Speaker 00

  I hate, well, I'll tell you what, the number one thing I hate in comedy right now, which is the level of buildup when you're going on stage. I don't need you to go, "Let's get some..." I literally tell these road guys, I go, "Don't be bringing me up" by saying, "Let's get some energy in here."

• 1:23:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:23:20Speaker 00

  I don't need you to build me up. First of all, it's implying that

• 1:23:24Mark Normand?

  That's low.

• 1:23:25Speaker 00

  any dude, "Hey, this guy's not getting any energy."

• 1:23:27Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:23:28Speaker 00

  You don't like him, "I'm gonna make you like him."

• 1:23:31Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:23:31Speaker 00

  Second of all, then you get up and it was screaming, "Let me fucking build them with laughs." What the fuck are we cheering? You know what I mean?

• 1:23:38Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 1:23:39Speaker 00

  It's not a fucking pep rally.

• 1:23:39Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:23:40Speaker 00

  It's not a fucking Jets game. Not that they cheer a Jets game. But, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:23:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:44Speaker 00

  That's my number one.

• 1:23:47Mark Normand?

  That's a good one.

• 1:23:47Speaker 01

  My pet peeve, people who are not kind to animals.

• 1:23:50Speaker 00

  That's a good one.

• 1:23:53Speaker 00

  What about rats?

• 1:23:56Sam Morril?

  They deserve to die.

• 1:23:57Speaker 01

  They kind of, yeah, because they hit us on an instinct level. It's not conscious when you react to rats.

• 1:24:02Sam Morril?

  I've had two in my home. They deserve to fucking die.

• 1:24:05Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. That's right. You hear the rat story. Never heard that.

• 1:24:07Sam Morril?

  Brutal.

• 1:24:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we can do comedy peeves all day. I don't love, um, when they blow you too much, when they're bringing you up. This next guy, oh my god, one of my favorites, one of the best I've seen, but you're like,

• 1:24:19Speaker 00

  Builds it up too much.

• 1:24:20Mark Normand?

  Don't do it, because now they're going, "Oh, really? Let me see this guy. I'll be the judge of that."

• 1:24:23Speaker 01

  There's only one thing when you're just stopping in to do a spot, they go, "You know, sometimes a special guest..."

• 1:24:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:24:30Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's brutal.

• 1:24:31Speaker 01

  "I'm disappointed, and I know it's me."

• 1:24:32Speaker 00

  Dylan Chappelle?

• 1:24:35Mark Normand?

  Although Keith Robinson, my third or fourth time at The Cellar, he goes, he was actually hosting, and he goes, "Guys, you guys are in for a treat. Jerry Seinfeld." The crowd goes ape shit, and then he goes, "I'm just kidding, Mark Norma." And it fucked me, my whole set, for like 11, 12 minutes. I had to dig out of that hole. But it was pretty well done.

• 1:24:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I hate that, too. A big booming intro, or, "You guys are in for a treat."

• 1:24:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:58Speaker 01

  "We have special guests stop by."

• 1:24:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:25:00Mark Normand?

  I also don't love, and this, this is a me thing, and you can do it, it's just I don't love it, but every comic going, "Give it up for your hosts." Give it up. We're on the sixth comic.

• 1:25:10Sam Morril?

  Thanks for supporting live comedy. We're putting on a good show here. You don't have to thank them.

• 1:25:14Mark Normand?

  Because if you really count-

• 1:25:15Sam Morril?

  It was $10 to get in.

• 1:25:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, if you count how many people, how many times they make the audience applaud, it's kind of ridiculous.

• 1:25:20Speaker 00

  Okay, here's the other one. We have six, we have six more comics to go.

• 1:25:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good one.

• 1:25:27Speaker 00

  We have 100 more comics.

• 1:25:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that one's a lot.

• 1:25:30Speaker 00

  Right before you go up.

• 1:25:30Mark Normand?

  34 more comics, folks, don't worry. Also, a new thing where they go, "Start clapping right now. Start clapping right now."

• 1:25:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's part of the whole fucking thing.

• 1:25:39Mark Normand?

  Start clapping right now.

• 1:25:40Speaker 00

  You don't have to charge them up for me. Let me do the fucking job.

• 1:25:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm with you.

• 1:25:45Speaker 01

  Just a nice tepid round of applause.

• 1:25:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:47Speaker 00

  And then I'll take it from there and build it. Wow. You're starting from here, all right. I'm saying, you're starting from here. Eh! They want somebody running around the stage like, "What's up, fucking New York?" I fucking hate that shit.

• 1:26:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:00Speaker 00

  How about that? You can't say, "What's up, in the city," ever.

• 1:26:03Mark Normand?

  What's up?

• 1:26:04Speaker 01

  What's up, New York?

• 1:26:05Speaker 00

  What's up, New York? What's up, Cleveland?

• 1:26:07Speaker 01

  Specials, starting with that shit, I hate, too. There's too much of that.

• 1:26:10Sam Morril?

  I wonder if I did that. I wonder if I've done that. I'm thinking.

• 1:26:14Mark Normand?

  Cat Williams does that. He does 20 minutes on Jacksonville.

• 1:26:17Speaker 00

  Doing material on a place is one thing.

• 1:26:19Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:26:20Speaker 00

  I'm saying, I don't want people saying, "What's up?" I'm, I'm sick of cheers. I think cheers be cut out. And comedy should only be judged by the amount of laughs you get. No fucking applause.

• 1:26:30Mark Normand?

  Here, here.

• 1:26:30Speaker 00

  No cheers.

• 1:26:32Sam Morril?

  Good stuff, Colin.

• 1:26:34Speaker 01

  If comedy had a president, I know who it would be.

• 1:26:38Mark Normand?

  You ever have that moment where you get on stage and you're like, "Good to be here in

• 1:26:43Mark Normand?

  Cleveland? Holy shit."

• 1:26:45Speaker 01

  I'll say that in a funny way.

• 1:26:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:26:47Speaker 01

  To pretend I don't remember.

• 1:26:48Speaker 00

  Jim goes, "Here at my favorite club, Funny Bone."

• 1:26:50Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's fun.

• 1:26:52Speaker 01

  I'll say, "Here in Cleveland," but I'm in Detroit.

• 1:26:53Speaker 00

  But it's so funny, like, all those hack jokes, they were funny. Whoever said them first.

• 1:26:57Speaker 01

  Whoever did them first is a genius.

• 1:26:59Speaker 00

  You know? Well, genius might be pushing it, but yeah.

• 1:27:01Speaker 01

  No, no, no, I'm gonna stand by you.

• 1:27:03Speaker 00

  The guy that goes, "Funny Bone is a genius."

• 1:27:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. The first guy who said, "I'm working and you're bothering me, do I go down to the corner and slap the dicks out of your mouth?" That guy's a genius. Whoever said that.

• 1:27:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was funny. The other guy that said, "What do you do for a living?" "Things, could you be a little more vague?"

• 1:27:20Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:27:21Speaker 00

  Yeah. I once heard two comics back in the late 80s. One guy goes, "You did vague? I do vague."

• 1:27:29Sam Morril?

  I'll go cryptic. You can have vague, yeah.

• 1:27:30Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:27:33Speaker 01

  "Hey, you bother me when I'm working, do I get down to the peep booth and slap the mop out of your hands?" That one always made me laugh. First guy to do that, really funny.

• 1:27:40Mark Normand?

  I think that was you.

• 1:27:42Speaker 01

  No, I actually did that for a living. That was actually my job.

• 1:27:46Mark Normand?

  Who was the first fat guy to do the, "Let me get the mic stand out of the way?"

• 1:27:49Speaker 00

  You know what, dude?

• 1:27:51Mark Normand?

  Was that, was that Panette or Louis?

• 1:27:54Speaker 01

  Louis, Louis is before Panette.

• 1:27:55Speaker 00

  No, before any of those guys, it was a guy named Frank, I saw the, before they even saw, Frank, uh, D'Amico was his Brooklyn comic.

• 1:28:02Speaker 01

  Oh, god.

• 1:28:02Speaker 00

  Fat guy.

• 1:28:03Speaker 01

  And she did F and F.

• 1:28:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:28:05Speaker 01

  And he had meatballs.

• 1:28:06Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:28:07Speaker 00

  It was, it was, it was around.

• 1:28:09Speaker 01

  I think Louis Anderson is the first. Well, Louis did it in the 80s. Let me move this.

• 1:28:12Speaker 00

  I bet it was a goddamn, I bet it was one of those vaudeville jokes.

• 1:28:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:16Speaker 00

  Probably, uh, Lou Costello probably did it.

• 1:28:18Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:28:20Speaker 05

  Did Richard Lewis come up with, uh, From Hell?

• 1:28:23Mark Normand?

  He says he did.

• 1:28:24Speaker 00

  He says he did.

• 1:28:25Speaker 05

  You think that's true?

• 1:28:26Speaker 00

  I can believe it.

• 1:28:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I can't think of anyone else who did it.

• 1:28:30Mark Normand?

  The mother-in-law from hell, the wife from hell.

• 1:28:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:28:34Sam Morril?

  It's one of those clams where you're like, "Yeah, fine, who cares?"

• 1:28:36Mark Normand?

  I guess, yeah.

• 1:28:37Sam Morril?

  It's like, it's not like-

• 1:28:38Speaker 01

  It's something I don't use. I, I say on crack a lot, that's really funny.

• 1:28:41Speaker 00

  We should do, we should look at all the great movie comedians, like, "How you doing, sir? Bald-headed fake."

• 1:28:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:47Speaker 00

  Remember?

• 1:28:48Speaker 01

  Raging Bull, the best.

• 1:28:50Sam Morril?

  His rock bottom in Raging Bull is, he's a comedian.

• 1:28:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's a lot of people.

• 1:28:53Sam Morril?

  That's his low point.

• 1:28:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, good point.

• 1:28:55Mark Normand?

  Same with Stormy Daniels, Chris Catan, you name it.

• 1:28:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:58Speaker 01

  He bald-headed fake.

• 1:29:01Mark Normand?

  I thought you were just talking to Jim.

• 1:29:06Sam Morril?

  Well, plug some dates. Where are you guys gonna be?

• 1:29:09Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be in, uh, South Jersey. I had a bunch of dates. Just go to Jim Dayton.

• 1:29:15Mark Normand?

  He's the box guy.

• 1:29:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, you don't have to say your dates. It's degrading. Just go on, go-

• 1:29:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah, go to their website.

• 1:29:20Speaker 00

  What the fuck? I'm not even gonna promote it.

• 1:29:20Speaker 01

  Well, you don't want to say your dates. I need to say my dates.

• 1:29:23Speaker 00

  No, you don't.

• 1:29:24Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:29:25Speaker 00

  First of all, if you're in Dayton, you have bigger problems than saying your dates. I mean, yeah.

• 1:29:29Speaker 05

  I started August 3rd here.

• 1:29:30Speaker 01

  Okay, great. All right, just go to jimnorton.com if you want to see them. I'm everywhere.

• 1:29:35Mark Normand?

  Hey, Bijou's, that's a good room.

• 1:29:37Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 1:29:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Knoxville.

• 1:29:38Sam Morril?

  Oh, that's one of the best rooms, dude.

• 1:29:40Speaker 01

  That's great. I hope they have a curtain.

• 1:29:42Sam Morril?

  It's, it's like, weirdly, the best crowd.

• 1:29:45Speaker 00

  There's a Funny Bone in Dayton?

• 1:29:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:48Speaker 05

  And then September in East Providence, Rhode Island, for-

• 1:29:51Sam Morril?

  Nice.

• 1:29:51Speaker 05

  Nice, long weekend there. In the higher ground, in Burlington, Vermont?

• 1:29:55Speaker 01

  York, Pennsylvania. Oh, oh, Skank Fest, yeah.

• 1:29:58Mark Normand?

  Ooh. You're staying pretty east.

• 1:30:00Speaker 00

  New Orleans.

• 1:30:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah. That's a, you should come to that. Have you come to the-

• 1:30:04Speaker 00

  Why can't we just talk about Confederacy of Dunces?

• 1:30:07Mark Normand?

  Best comedy book ever written.

• 1:30:08Speaker 00

  That's all I want to talk about.

• 1:30:08Sam Morril?

  I gotta read it.

• 1:30:09Mark Normand?

  And they should make a movie.

• 1:30:10Speaker 00

  What? Sam, you ever read it?

• 1:30:11Sam Morril?

  I gotta read it.

• 1:30:12Speaker 00

  Sam is the best. I can't believe I wasn't to read it.

• 1:30:15Mark Normand?

  You should read it. You're a reader.

• 1:30:16Speaker 00

  It's, Norton loves it, too.

• 1:30:18Speaker 01

  I've read half of it.

• 1:30:19Speaker 00

  What?

• 1:30:20Speaker 01

  I haven't finished it.

• 1:30:21Speaker 00

  This is shocking to me.

• 1:30:22Sam Morril?

  Colin Quinn at Comedy on Stage, great club.

• 1:30:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was two weeks ago.

• 1:30:26Speaker 01

  How was it?

• 1:30:28Sam Morril?

  How you update your site?

• 1:30:29Mark Normand?

  Didn't go well.

• 1:30:31Speaker 00

  Homeless. And my niece, Shannon.

• 1:30:33Mark Normand?

  Great club.

• 1:30:34Sam Morril?

  Helium Comedy Club in Philly, great club.

• 1:30:36Speaker 00

  That's a good one.

• 1:30:37Mark Normand?

  Love that room.

• 1:30:38Speaker 00

  Helium?

• 1:30:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:39Speaker 00

  It's a great room, right?

• 1:30:41Speaker 01

  Tile Center or Tillis? I can't remember.

• 1:30:43Speaker 00

  Tillis Center. Don't make fun of my gig.

• 1:30:46Sam Morril?

  Brooklyn, New York. Brooklyn, New York. That's in October.

• 1:30:49Speaker 01

  Is it the Mel Tillis Center?

• 1:30:51Sam Morril?

  Stafford Township Arts Center in Manahawk in New Jersey.

• 1:30:55Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:30:56Sam Morril?

  On October 10th.

• 1:30:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, I do my joke, "Manahawk."

• 1:31:00Mark Normand?

  Dead Manahawk in here.

• 1:31:01Speaker 00

  What about, um, yeah.

• 1:31:03Sam Morril?

  Bray Improv in August.

• 1:31:05Speaker 00

  Are you guys just saying this so you can promote your dates, you being polite, but putting on fucking dates?

• 1:31:09Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:31:09Speaker 00

  No, we're gonna climb them.

• 1:31:10Sam Morril?

  Is that every part?

• 1:31:11Speaker 00

  We're gonna cut them out.

• 1:31:12Speaker 01

  No, they'll leave them in to be polite.

• 1:31:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we gotta get Manahawk in, a shout-out.

• 1:31:17Speaker 05

  What do you got here, Sam?

• 1:31:17Sam Morril?

  I'm just in Bray, uh, California, August 24th.

• 1:31:20Speaker 00

  I like that club.

• 1:31:21Sam Morril?

  Great club. Then I got them all over Europe, Portugal, Vienna, Budapest. Tickets still available. Zagreb, Vienna, Warsaw.

• 1:31:29Speaker 00

  It's called Budapest. You can't say Budapest.

• 1:31:31Sam Morril?

  Helsinki, yeah, Warsaw, Sweden.

• 1:31:35Speaker 00

  Hamburg and Boris.

• 1:31:36Sam Morril?

  And then I just added Nashville and, uh, San Diego, so I'll see you on there. I'll add some more dates.

• 1:31:40Speaker 00

  Wait, San Diego where?

• 1:31:41Sam Morril?

  Uh, American Comedy Club.

• 1:31:43Speaker 00

  Is that a good club?

• 1:31:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I haven't been there in years.

• 1:31:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's a solid room. Good room. I'm a La Jolla man, myself.

• 1:31:48Sam Morril?

  I, I like that one, too.

• 1:31:50Mark Normand?

  Good, good room. Great club.

• 1:31:52Sam Morril?

  Oh, and watch my specials on YouTube now. The, uh, You've Changed, I got it back from Amazon, so it's on, on YouTube.

• 1:31:58Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 1:31:59Sam Morril?

  You've changed, yeah.

• 1:31:59Mark Normand?

  It's out of jail.

• 1:32:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah, baby.

• 1:32:01Mark Normand?

  Hey, we're at Cobb's. Love that Cobb's. San Francisco, Houston Improv, that's a big room, so please, come out. Nashville, hello. Please, we need you. Pittsburgh Improv, that's a tough, tough market out there.

• 1:32:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:32:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:17Speaker 00

  That's a big room, too.

• 1:32:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:32:19Speaker 00

  I fucking told you.

• 1:32:19Speaker 01

  What, the Pittsburgh Improv?

• 1:32:21Speaker 00

  Oh, god.

• 1:32:21Mark Normand?

  Man, that's hard.

• 1:32:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and it's not in Pittsburgh.

• 1:32:23Mark Normand?

  No, Homestead or wherever it is.

• 1:32:25Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:32:26Mark Normand?

  Hempstead.

• 1:32:26Sam Morril?

  Or Homestead.

• 1:32:27Speaker 00

  I did, I did it once. I was barely telling this guy, comes up to me and goes, "Don't feel bad. Kenny Chesey's in town next month."

• 1:32:35Mark Normand?

  Next month?

• 1:32:36Speaker 00

  A lot of people are spending their money elsewhere.

• 1:32:38Mark Normand?

  You got the Pittsburgh Pirates, uh, jacket. I didn't know if you were a Pittsburgh fan.

• 1:32:42Speaker 00

  Forget about it.

• 1:32:42Mark Normand?

  All right, Regina, come on out.

• 1:32:44Speaker 00

  How's that?

• 1:32:45Mark Normand?

  Never been, should be interesting.

• 1:32:47Speaker 00

  How's Calgary?

• 1:32:48Mark Normand?

  Calgary's great.

• 1:32:49Sam Morril?

  I gotta go there.

• 1:32:49Speaker 00

  Who's opening for you, Bonnie?

• 1:32:52Mark Normand?

  Uh, I don't think so.

• 1:32:53Speaker 00

  Is she still there?

• 1:32:54Mark Normand?

  Uh, is she?

• 1:32:54Speaker 01

  She's Edmonton.

• 1:32:55Mark Normand?

  Ah. Acme and Minnapp, and, uh, Comedy works in Denver.

• 1:33:00Speaker 00

  Nice, Acme.

• 1:33:01Mark Normand?

  But, yeah, we got a, we got, yeah, Comedy on Stage, gotta follow Colin.

• 1:33:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:33:06Mark Normand?

  Keep, keep clapping. Yeah, we got it. That's enough.

• 1:33:08Speaker 05

  Portland, Bethlehem, and Las Vegas.

• 1:33:09Mark Normand?

  Vegas, Portland.

• 1:33:10Sam Morril?

  Go see these guys on the road. They're the, two of the best, so-

• 1:33:13Speaker 00

  You guys don't fuck around, do you?

• 1:33:15Speaker 01

  I need new headshots. I gotta come up with new pictures. I like that you have new pictures for your tour.

• 1:33:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:33:20Speaker 01

  I'm using the same one from last-

• 1:33:21Speaker 00

  Get that one.

• 1:33:22Mark Normand?

  He takes a photo, yeah. That's you after a gig.

• 1:33:24Speaker 01

  Maybe you can use the picture, because I've lost weight. Not that anybody would think to compliment me on this program, but I've lost weight.

• 1:33:30Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:33:31Speaker 00

  You look great.

• 1:33:32Speaker 01

  Oh, come on, Paul.

• 1:33:33Mark Normand?

  Very nice.

• 1:33:34Speaker 01

  I mean, I do appreciate that. But, um, yeah, so I'm ready for some photos.

• 1:33:39Speaker 00

  They're trying to wrap it up, and we won't let them.

• 1:33:42Mark Normand?

  Are you doing the Ozem?

• 1:33:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:33:44Mark Normand?

  Good for you, the old-fashioned way.

• 1:33:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:46Mark Normand?

  Nice.

• 1:33:46Speaker 01

  The Ozem pick.

• 1:33:50Mark Normand?

  Came in. Holloway.

• 1:33:54Mark Normand?

  At the buzzer. Thanks, guys.

• 1:33:55Speaker 01

  They do say that a-

• 1:33:56Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:33:59Mark Normand?

  He's just keeping it going. One more drink, one more drink. You know in the morning, for sure we gonna stink. One more round, one more round. It's 5:00 AM, you pricks, the bar keep round.

• 1:34:21Speaker 06

  This is what we do, catch up for a few. We'll riff and talk some shit, and then we'll sleep till 2:00. Talk some shit, and then we'll sleep till 2:00.

• 1:34:39Speaker 06

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• 1:35:07Speaker 06

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