H. Foley & Kevin Ryan w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Garbage Podcast

Are You Garbage hosts H. Foley and Kevin Ryan join Mark and Sam for a hilarious and unexpectedly honest episode. Mark reveals his new hair transplant, Foley opens up about relapse, recovery, and rebuilding his life, and the guys get into Shane Gillis, Billy Joel, celebrity kids, weight-loss drugs, bad plastic surgery, and the questionable choices that make someone truly garbage. H. Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/Kevin Ryan: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/Are You Garbage: https://areyougarbage.com/Are You Garbage on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AreYouGarbage Sponsored by: Prepare for a night out with ZBioticshttps://www.zbiotics.com/drunk — code DRUNK for 15% off Make your picks with UnderdogDownload the Underdog app Start your free Shopify trialhttps://www.shopify.com/drunk Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBDMerch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/ticketsMark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com@GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #AreYouGarbage #HFoley #KevinRyan #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Speaker 00

  We getting a sneak peek here?

• 0:07Mark Normand?

  Well, I'll show you off, kid. It's so gnarly. We'll get deleted off YouTube, yeah.

• 0:11Speaker 02

  We monetized.

• 0:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's bad.

• 0:13Sam Morril?

  It's not as bad as you're saying.

• 0:14Speaker 00

  Faces of death.

• 0:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so for the folks at home, got the hair surgery, got the Soder, the Mateo, the Hamilton, the list goes on, but nobody's doing pods.

• 0:24Sam Morril?

  Are they all out?

• 0:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, good question.

• 0:27Sam Morril?

  For the hair thing?

• 0:28Speaker 02

  I know Mateo and...

• 0:30Sam Morril?

  Mateo came out twice.

• 0:32Speaker 02

  Wait, Hamilton.

• 0:33Speaker 04

  He could come out one more time.

• 0:34Mark Normand?

  Good question on Hamilton. Maybe bleep Hamilton. It's a good play.

• 0:37Sam Morril?

  Nah, he doesn't care. I'm sure it's fine. Did this come of the Joel McHale episode? Because we had Joel McHale on the show and Joel, Mark asked him about the hair transplant.

• 0:44Speaker 02

  Oh, I saw. I get all bald content. My algorithm knows I'm thin, baby.

• 0:49Mark Normand?

  Sinead O'Connor's his background.

• 0:52Speaker 04

  It's our most viral clip ever.

• 0:54Mark Normand?

  You're not gonna like it?

• 0:55Speaker 05

  Or should we just wrap it up?

• 0:58Mark Normand?

  We can always edit.

• 0:59Sam Morril?

  Go weird.

• 1:00Mark Normand?

  So, I'm 41.

• 1:02Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 1:03Mark Normand?

  And I am gonna do the hair...

• 1:05Speaker 05

  You didn't just touch me when you said...

• 1:07Mark Normand?

  Sorry.

• 1:07Speaker 05

  It's gonna be a weird question.

• 1:08Mark Normand?

  I think he kinda hated this.

• 1:09Speaker 05

  You touched my shoulder.

• 1:10Sam Morril?

  Nah, he touched my shoulder.

• 1:11Mark Normand?

  Okay, okay. Alright, so I'm gonna do the hair transplant, I think.

• 1:15Sam Morril?

  Why?

• 1:16Speaker 05

  Is that weird?

• 1:16Mark Normand?

  Well, you know, we have the internet, we can see Kimmel, we can see Seth MacFarlane.

• 1:21Speaker 05

  Everybody.

• 1:21Mark Normand?

  Everybody. And your hair looks amazing.

• 1:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm fully bald. This is, yeah.

• 1:25Mark Normand?

  Okay, I didn't want to broach it. Four?

• 1:29Sam Morril?

  You got four?

• 1:29Speaker 05

  Yeah. I did it way back when it was a strip.

• 1:31Sam Morril?

  Got a kidney, too.

• 1:32Speaker 05

  Uh, painful.

• 1:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:34Speaker 05

  Uh, don't do this work.

• 1:35Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:35Speaker 05

  Uh, do the bucking.

• 1:36Mark Normand?

  The back of the hair strip, you're talking.

• 1:39Sam Morril?

  So that's where they took it from?

• 1:40Mark Normand?

  No. There's two ways to do it. They can just go from the shave, you shave the side and the back, which I did, as you can see.

• 1:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:47Mark Normand?

  And they put it up here.

• 1:48Sam Morril?

  This looks like your Make-A-Wish podcast, right here.

• 1:51Mark Normand?

  And then, or you can do the strip.

• 1:53Speaker 00

  Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Jackson.

• 1:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so they took it all from the back. Eight-hour surgery, in a dentist's chair. They watched Emily in Paris the whole time while they did it.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Are you not sleeping for that?

• 2:04Mark Normand?

  Huh?

• 2:05Speaker 02

  They don't knock you out?

• 2:05Mark Normand?

  They knocked me out. They gave me two Ambien and two Xanax, and I was out.

• 2:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah, so we had to re-watch Emily in Paris.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  Would you get this under the barber shop? That's what they gave you, two Ambien?

• 2:13Mark Normand?

  I know, it was great. I was in and out the whole time. I cut a little bit of Emily.

• 2:17Sam Morril?

  Damn. Great program, by the way.

• 2:18Mark Normand?

  Fun show.

• 2:19Sam Morril?

  Is it a good show?

• 2:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, why not?

• 2:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, she's cute.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  She's hot, she's cute.

• 2:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, but the upkeep is way worse. I gotta do it. Two Epsom salt baths every day, two shampoos a day. I gotta massage the back with a cream, I gotta put an Aqua Gel in there, I gotta sleep on my back.

• 2:36Sam Morril?

  You're like a Real Housewife right now.

• 2:37Mark Normand?

  It's a nightmare.

• 2:38Speaker 00

  I've never seen you like this.

• 2:39Mark Normand?

  I feel bad for...

• 2:40Speaker 00

  You're very de-poofed.

• 2:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, whoa, whoa.

• 2:44Mark Normand?

  I'm not Newman.

• 2:44Speaker 00

  Norman?

• 2:45Mark Normand?

  I'm not Norman. Yeah, it sucks.

• 2:48Sam Morril?

  This is, yeah, this is a different you. This is crazy.

• 2:50Mark Normand?

  I'm in hell. The upkeep. I don't shower, I rarely shave, I don't wipe my ass, I don't wash my hands, so this is a nightmare for me.

• 2:58Sam Morril?

  What the ass wiping had to do with it?

• 3:00Mark Normand?

  I was just, I was adding stuff. I was heightening.

• 3:03Speaker 00

  Buddy.

• 3:04Mark Normand?

  But yeah, it's hell, man. It's hell.

• 3:05Speaker 00

  You're gorgeous.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  How many days out are we?

• 3:08Mark Normand?

  Third day.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 3:10Mark Normand?

  I told the doctor...

• 3:10Speaker 02

  We're back doing pods.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  Were you in Turkey?

• 3:12Mark Normand?

  No.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  Nah, a guy in New York does it. It's pricey.

• 3:15Mark Normand?

  It ain't cheap. Right by the Guggenheim.

• 3:17Speaker 00

  Can I get a number?

• 3:18Mark Normand?

  Sure. You got a great hair.

• 3:20Speaker 02

  I know how much. I know how much.

• 3:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, I see, I see. A number? I don't know, $4.50?

• 3:26Speaker 00

  $3.25, baby. You're down. You're down a little.

• 3:29Mark Normand?

  You're looking good.

• 3:29Speaker 00

  I'm down.

• 3:30Sam Morril?

  Are you on the needle or no?

• 3:31Speaker 00

  No, I'm just working out and eating right. Yeah, I'm on the fucking needle. What are you, nuts? This is all bone marrow I lost. You kidding me?

• 3:38Mark Normand?

  I told the doctor I was doing, he's like, "You doing podcasts?" And I'm like, "Well, wait, I got eight sold-out shows in Pittsburgh this weekend." He's like, "That's insane, you gotta cancel." But I, I'm going.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  Is there like, well, are you a lot of like sweating stuff?

• 3:49Mark Normand?

  No, can't, can't sweat.

• 3:50Speaker 00

  Can't cry.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  You're gonna be up there shucking and jiving.

• 3:52Mark Normand?

  I don't shuck, I don't jive.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  Never shucks, never jives.

• 3:55Speaker 00

  Keep the AC real low in Pittsburgh.

• 3:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm gonna go black guy stool.

• 3:58Sam Morril?

  Why do they say not to be active?

• 4:00Mark Normand?

  Because you can't sweat. You can't sweat and you can't get the heart up.

• 4:03Sam Morril?

  You better do well on stage.

• 4:04Mark Normand?

  Oh my god, you're right. No do stuff.

• 4:07Speaker 00

  Hope the pilot's not in the audience.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  The doctor's in the audience.

• 4:10Mark Normand?

  I was a real turkey out there.

• 4:12Speaker 00

  Would you, were you able to, knowing you, did you try to finagle a little free ad?

• 4:17Mark Normand?

  I did, yeah. That's why I'm talking about it now.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  And he's wearing that, literally wearing that hat.

• 4:22Mark Normand?

  I'm wearing the hat. His name's Carlos.

• 4:24Speaker 00

  Oh, let's go.

• 4:24Mark Normand?

  Carlos Wesley. He's great. He did Mateo and Soder.

• 4:27Sam Morril?

  Did you really get a deal on this?

• 4:29Mark Normand?

  We're working on it.

• 4:31Mark Normand?

  I came up with a coupon.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Got points on the back end.

• 4:34Mark Normand?

  If you get a reference, you get a cheaper deal.

• 4:36Speaker 00

  Let's go.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  Well, hit me up.

• 4:37Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  Nah, I can't do it.

• 4:39Mark Normand?

  Just take time off.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  He said it sucks.

• 4:41Mark Normand?

  This part sucks.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, which I'm like, I'm sold on. I don't...

• 4:44Mark Normand?

  It's hell. It is hell.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  Dude, I'm fucking pretty successful. I'm married, I got the kid, I got, it's like, I don't know.

• 4:51Mark Normand?

  You wear it well. I got curly hair. It's different. I'm a youthful guy. You're an old curmudgeon.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  This has been happening a little while. Would you say I'm old curmudgeon?

• 4:59Mark Normand?

  Well, you're like, you, you, you, you work with it well.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 5:01Mark Normand?

  I'm fun.

• 5:02Speaker 00

  You, you're ugly. I'm attractive. I could be in the movies. Can I say this?

• 5:08Mark Normand?

  Please.

• 5:08Speaker 00

  I never, I'm shocked. I never noticed anything.

• 5:11Sam Morril?

  He's complained about it for like 15 years to me, and I never noticed.

• 5:14Mark Normand?

  When it's wet, it's bad.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:17Mark Normand?

  It's bad. And again, curly, you can do some fluffing.

• 5:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 5:21Mark Normand?

  But without, if I was straight, wait a minute.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  Were you doing, were you doing the pills and stuff in the crate? Like, were you doing any...

• 5:29Mark Normand?

  I was doing finasteride.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, the pill.

• 5:32Mark Normand?

  The pill, which keeps it.

• 5:33Speaker 00

  Sounds like a roller coaster.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn't grow back up.

• 5:37Mark Normand?

  Uh, yeah.

• 5:37Sam Morril?

  I was shocked when you sent me the photo.

• 5:39Speaker 00

  Because you didn't know anything about this?

• 5:41Sam Morril?

  No, he, he told me, Peters was like, "Mark has a elective procedure," and I was like, "What?" I was like, "Is he getting fake tits? What the hell?" I don't even know what's going on. So then I reached out, "You okay?" So, yeah, I didn't, I didn't know. He's talked about it for years.

• 5:56Mark Normand?

  I had to wear a turban. They give you a bandage because your whole head's all bleeding.

• 6:00Sam Morril?

  Don't fly with that.

• 6:01Mark Normand?

  And I got an Uber and the guy gave me one of these.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  Never forget?

• 6:07Mark Normand?

  There it is, that's my joy.

• 6:08Speaker 00

  Holy shit.

• 6:09Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 6:10Mark Normand?

  Did you plan that? No, it's Uber.

• 6:12Speaker 02

  That's Doug Key in a turban.

• 6:13Speaker 00

  The Sichuan candidate. Look at you.

• 6:15Sam Morril?

  You should, you should have got this procedure on 9/11.

• 6:19Mark Normand?

  Also, you have the same shirt on in the picture. I know, I've got to wear a button-down. I've been wearing this for three days.

• 6:23Speaker 00

  Why do you have to wear a button-down?

• 6:25Mark Normand?

  Because you can't pull it over the head and burn.

• 6:26Speaker 00

  You have to dress like a Turkish guy?

• 6:29Mark Normand?

  I'm trying to grab an ice cream cone. I'm selling cologne.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Wow. That's fucking...

• 6:35Sam Morril?

  Your head was, your head was fucking red, too.

• 6:37Mark Normand?

  Oh, it hurts.

• 6:38Sam Morril?

  You look like a Native American at the end of a John Wayne film.

• 6:40Speaker 00

  Can I say this from, with the hat? You look good with a high and tight. You look good. I've never seen your hair that close.

• 6:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, thanks, yeah. I had to buzz it. But it hurts.

• 6:49Sam Morril?

  What's, so what's the timeline?

• 6:51Mark Normand?

  Uh, about 10 days, I'll be alright.

• 6:53Sam Morril?

  And then, but then, how long are you wearing a hat?

• 6:55Speaker 02

  There's like, it's a, it's a pretty brutal process.

• 6:58Speaker 00

  What are you doing to them?

• 6:59Mark Normand?

  It's bad.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  You already did it.

• 7:00Mark Normand?

  Well, I'm not wearing a hat at all. You're not really supposed to wear a hat. That's why I got a high hat, because I gotta keep...

• 7:04Speaker 02

  Do they give you the high hat?

• 7:05Mark Normand?

  They give you the high hat with the sides open.

• 7:07Speaker 00

  Is your head completely shaved right now?

• 7:09Mark Normand?

  No, no, the top still has some hair.

• 7:10Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 7:11Mark Normand?

  But it's all wonky and wet and gross. It's got chemicals in it. But I took the hat off with the kid, and he gave me one of these.

• 7:18Speaker 00

  That's like when the dad shaves his beard.

• 7:19Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 7:20Speaker 00

  That's gotta be 10 times worse.

• 7:21Mark Normand?

  Way worse. Hopefully he forgets, blocks it out, but he ran away.

• 7:24Sam Morril?

  He's pretty young.

• 7:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, he's young.

• 7:27Sam Morril?

  Damn, dude.

• 7:27Speaker 00

  You got another one on the way?

• 7:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 7:29Speaker 00

  Congratulations.

• 7:30Mark Normand?

  Congrats.

• 7:31Speaker 00

  I just saw a picture of you down the beach somewhere. Was that, was that old?

• 7:34Mark Normand?

  That was Nantucket. Went to Nantucket for the week.

• 7:36Sam Morril?

  You said it's unreal.

• 7:37Mark Normand?

  It's unbelievable. I get it now.

• 7:39Speaker 00

  You go in the water?

• 7:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I went in the water. What am I?

• 7:42Speaker 00

  I don't go in the water up there.

• 7:43Sam Morril?

  You don't go in the water?

• 7:43Speaker 00

  Jaws. That cold Atlantic?

• 7:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, get out of here.

• 7:47Speaker 00

  We're gonna find sharks everywhere.

• 7:48Mark Normand?

  You beach.

• 7:49Speaker 00

  They just put...

• 7:51Mark Normand?

  You don't swim?

• 7:52Speaker 00

  They gotta blow me up.

• 7:55Speaker 00

  They just found a shark in the Hudson.

• 7:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 7:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, jeez.

• 7:59Speaker 02

  It was on a wave runner, Dominican.

• 8:01Mark Normand?

  It's a lone shark.

• 8:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, the sharks are going crazy right now. I'm out of there.

• 8:05Mark Normand?

  How many sharks do people, kill people a year? Take a guess.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  It's like five. It's, it's crazy. It's like, it's single-digit.

• 8:11Mark Normand?

  It's less than police.

• 8:12Speaker 00

  I'd rather it kill me than have to go through that experience and then...

• 8:15Mark Normand?

  Are you kidding? You get the story.

• 8:17Sam Morril?

  I'm more scared of the gators than the sharks.

• 8:19Mark Normand?

  Gators are no joke.

• 8:20Speaker 00

  Where are you hanging out?

• 8:21Sam Morril?

  Well, I have a gator bit. It's like an eight-minute bit, so if I die at the hands of a gator, it's ironic.

• 8:27Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 8:28Sam Morril?

  I don't want that.

• 8:29Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  You're even going out with a joke. That's pretty good.

• 8:32Mark Normand?

  True comedian.

• 8:33Speaker 00

  Saltwater crocodiles, I don't like them.

• 8:35Sam Morril?

  The United States averages roughly one shark attack fatality every two years. That's nothing.

• 8:39Mark Normand?

  That's nothing.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  That's half a death a year, it says.

• 8:41Mark Normand?

  It's all stigma.

• 8:42Speaker 00

  That's bullshit. I guarantee you that's a lie. Remember the mayor in Jaws? He wanted to keep the beaches open. I'm telling you right now, that's a fucking cover-up. It's way more than that. They, people just disappear in the ocean. They say, "Oh, the riptide got him." Shark, for sure. Give me that? Give me that? That's a closed case.

• 8:58Sam Morril?

  And that's deaths. How many people get like a bite? You see people like, missing a little chunk here?

• 9:02Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  A thousand human deaths each year.

• 9:05Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  But that's worldwide.

• 9:07Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but where, yeah, where is this happening, Sal?

• 9:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's in Africa and shit.

• 9:10Speaker 02

  That's in Tallahassee. Most of that's Tallahassee.

• 9:12Sam Morril?

  Where is it?

• 9:13Speaker 04

  I'm saying, they're still people.

• 9:15Mark Normand?

  And when they showed up with a raft around Foley, they said, "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

• 9:18Speaker 02

  How many shark attacks annually worldwide?

• 9:21Speaker 04

  Fatal crocodile attacks do not occur in the United States. I don't think we have crocodiles. We have alligators, right?

• 9:26Mark Normand?

  We got gators. Crocs are South America.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  They're probably getting those Floridians left and right.

• 9:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:32Sam Morril?

  How many alligator deaths?

• 9:33Speaker 02

  Dozens over the last several decades.

• 9:35Mark Normand?

  They end up in the pool and shit. You never see a shark in a pool.

• 9:38Speaker 04

  Shark in a pool.

• 9:39Speaker 00

  Seen a lone shark in a pool.

• 9:41Mark Normand?

  There you go. Upper pool.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  That's a lot of wordplay.

• 9:46Speaker 00

  Dolly!

• 9:47Mark Normand?

  By the way, oh, RIP Dolly. Let's get it out of the way. Good shout out for this.

• 9:51Sam Morril?

  Beloved by everybody.

• 9:52Mark Normand?

  Beloved.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:54Sam Morril?

  Legend.

• 9:54Mark Normand?

  Here's how you know Dolly was beloved. She's a big-titted, blonde, hot chick, and women still like her.

• 10:00Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 10:01Speaker 00

  Classy broad.

• 10:02Mark Normand?

  Classy. Gave a lot of money away, charity.

• 10:05Sam Morril?

  Could've had way more money.

• 10:06Mark Normand?

  Could've had, to the book club.

• 10:09Speaker 00

  What a nice eulogy that was.

• 10:10Sam Morril?

  Well, she was a great singer too, Sal. Let us build. Let us build to this.

• 10:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we're building.

• 10:14Sam Morril?

  Great songwriter. So many bangers.

• 10:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:17Speaker 00

  Jolene?

• 10:18Sam Morril?

  Jolene, Nine to Five.

• 10:20Speaker 00

  Nine to Five?

• 10:21Sam Morril?

  So many bangers. The best tweet I saw was, it was that rap bitch, Jolene, who did it. I don't know who posted that, but pull that up. Give the person credit.

• 10:30Mark Normand?

  Really good. I saw Greg.

• 10:32Sam Morril?

  Eighty's not old enough.

• 10:33Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 10:34Sam Morril?

  I can't believe she was only eighty.

• 10:35Mark Normand?

  How did Biden beat her? And Trump?

• 10:39Speaker 00

  I don't know when this goes out. Tim Curry just died.

• 10:40Mark Normand?

  I saw that too. What a day.

• 10:43Sam Morril?

  A lot of, a lot of the Home Alone Two cast.

• 10:44Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:45Sam Morril?

  Catherine O'Hara, the pigeon lady.

• 10:48Mark Normand?

  You know who this sucks for is Haley Hayden Pettit Terry. She was the dead hot lady for a while.

• 10:53Speaker 00

  That's the third.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  But not the guys that...

• 10:55Speaker 00

  These things come in threes.

• 10:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, jeez. You're right.

• 10:58Speaker 00

  That's the third.

• 10:59Sam Morril?

  Henry the Vacuum, add Henry underscore sucks, S U X. All right, good, good tweet.

• 11:04Mark Normand?

  Good tweet. You gotta get in right when it's hot. That's the key.

• 11:08Speaker 00

  Comedy's all about timing.

• 11:11Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 11:12Speaker 00

  So I've heard.

• 11:13Mark Normand?

  Speaking of comedy, you killed it in Tires.

• 11:15Speaker 00

  Oh, thank you, buddy.

• 11:16Mark Normand?

  Dude, it got like six hundred billion views.

• 11:18Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 11:20Sam Morril?

  You're a good actor.

• 11:21Speaker 00

  Thanks, buddy.

• 11:21Sam Morril?

  You've always been a good actor.

• 11:22Speaker 00

  Thank you. Habitual liar, so.

• 11:25Speaker 06

  Acted his whole life.

• 11:26Speaker 00

  Plus I'm playing a scumbag.

• 11:28Mark Normand?

  Definitely the best season. Soder has a great role. You Kill It, Pope Kills It.

• 11:32Sam Morril?

  Stavi.

• 11:33Mark Normand?

  Stavi's on fire.

• 11:34Speaker 00

  Whole squad.

• 11:35Mark Normand?

  The boner in the van. I mean, it's killer.

• 11:37Speaker 00

  We were just talking, uh, earlier, the monologue that Kyla Fox delivers in that scene where she's yelling at the old volleyball team.

• 11:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  She's incredible.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  She's such a character.

• 11:48Speaker 00

  She's incredible.

• 11:49Mark Normand?

  She's great.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  Everybody's amazing. Gerben, the chemistry between Gerben and Gilly, amazing. McKeever, everybody.

• 11:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah, McKeever's become this, like, serious comedy director.

• 11:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:58Speaker 02

  We were, we were just talking about it. He had it when we were in open mics in Philly.

• 12:02Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  Dude, he was shooting stuff that we were like, we were like, we always say, we were like rubbing two sticks together, come up with like a fucking bad Mentos sketch, you know? And then he would put these things together, it would go viral in like a weekend.

• 12:14Sam Morril?

  Well, he and Tommy Pope were this close to having that Comedy Central show back in the day.

• 12:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. What was that called?

• 12:20Speaker 00

  Delco Proper.

• 12:21Sam Morril?

  It was funny. It was good.

• 12:22Mark Normand?

  It was very funny.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:23Mark Normand?

  I did.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  The funeral with the kid in the lacrosse, the lacrosse thing.

• 12:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 12:27Mark Normand?

  I did helium back in, I don't know, two thousand sixteen, and he was my opener. And I was like, who's this fat bearded pussy?

• 12:34Speaker 02

  Killer.

• 12:34Mark Normand?

  He came in with a track jacket on. He looked like, like a wrestling coach. Murdering. Every night I couldn't follow him.

• 12:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:41Mark Normand?

  And then he just doesn't do stand-up.

• 12:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's one of those guys that's like so good, and then he's just like, eh, I just don't like you. And I remember being like, what?

• 12:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:48Speaker 00

  Brilliant actor, brilliant comedian, brilliant director.

• 12:51Speaker 02

  He's great.

• 12:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:52Mark Normand?

  Got it all.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  Triple threat. Hell of a dancer, I hear.

• 12:54Mark Normand?

  I could see that.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 12:56Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 12:56Speaker 00

  What'd you say?

• 12:57Speaker 02

  He's a hell of a dancer.

• 12:58Mark Normand?

  He could move.

• 12:59Speaker 00

  Johnny Mac's a great looking kid.

• 13:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's underrated looking. Pull him up if you can. Let's, John McKeever.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  Johnny Mac.

• 13:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, how's that feel? I mean, are you getting DMs? You getting hit up by the ladies?

• 13:12Speaker 00

  No. What, DMs? There he is. Look at him.

• 13:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, rugged guy.

• 13:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah, rugged, huh? He's got like a, like a Slater vibe, Christian Slater or something.

• 13:22Speaker 00

  He's the best. We all started together. Isn't that crazy?

• 13:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 13:25Sam Morril?

  Philly.

• 13:25Mark Normand?

  Well, Shane told me, uh, you know, he was a very famous comedian, getting a lot of nice, uh, ladies swarming the DM, but he said, once Tires came out, it was like here to here. It was just crazy celebrities, athletes, you know, you name it. Angel Reese, whatever. Brittany Griner.

• 13:42Sam Morril?

  And he still responds to texts.

• 13:44Mark Normand?

  And he does respond.

• 13:45Sam Morril?

  Shane's a good text responder.

• 13:47Mark Normand?

  He is.

• 13:47Sam Morril?

  A lot of your friends, some of your friends get, they get a little big.

• 13:50Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 13:50Sam Morril?

  And they're like, and I get it, they're busy.

• 13:52Speaker 00

  He doesn't call me back.

• 13:53Sam Morril?

  But Shane's a good text responder.

• 13:55Mark Normand?

  The only problem is, he quit, he quit drinking hard.

• 13:59Speaker 02

  He gotta at some point. He gotta pull it in a little bit.

• 14:02Mark Normand?

  Don't pull up his ex. She's a psycho. Don't pull her up.

• 14:04Sam Morril?

  He's pushing forty. You can't do it forever, man.

• 14:05Mark Normand?

  Hey, well, so am I. I'm forty-two.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  Now you got a hairline of a twenty-year-old. What are you talking about?

• 14:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but he was going on another level.

• 14:13Speaker 00

  Get them Jägerbombs back in here.

• 14:14Mark Normand?

  He was going hard.

• 14:14Sam Morril?

  That's the thing is like, you and I always kinda connected over the fact that like, I never wanna have to quit.

• 14:19Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 14:20Sam Morril?

  He's drinking at a, like, there was like eighteen Bud Lights in a sitting.

• 14:23Mark Normand?

  Well, we did Protect Our Parks, and we all went out for DeRosa's celebration, cause he got a Netflix special. Shout out to DeRosa.

• 14:28Speaker 00

  Shout out to Joey DeRosa.

• 14:29Sam Morril?

  Great special.

• 14:30Speaker 00

  Amazing in Tires as well.

• 14:31Mark Normand?

  Yes. And Shane was like, was like twelve thirty, he's like, all right, boys, I'm packing it in. We're like, what? You're paying for everything.

• 14:39Speaker 00

  The check hasn't come.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  My wallet's gone.

• 14:41Speaker 00

  I didn't, I didn't know that. I know he's pulling back.

• 14:43Mark Normand?

  Well, he still drinks. He's just not a psycho like the rest of us.

• 14:46Speaker 00

  I'm off the booze.

• 14:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 14:48Speaker 00

  Sobies.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  Big man's off the sauce.

• 14:50Mark Normand?

  You too.

• 14:50Speaker 00

  Still on the french fries, though.

• 14:51Mark Normand?

  All right, you don't say.

• 14:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm done.

• 14:55Sam Morril?

  You get older, you gotta choose.

• 14:57Mark Normand?

  I guess so. He's got a career.

• 14:58Sam Morril?

  Unhealthy food, yeah. And he's busy as fuck.

• 15:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true. That's true.

• 15:02Speaker 00

  You make me wanna drink the most.

• 15:03Sam Morril?

  Why?

• 15:04Speaker 00

  Cause you're a good drinker.

• 15:05Sam Morril?

  Thank you, man.

• 15:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:06Sam Morril?

  I try. I, I'm, I, you wouldn't, well, I take pride in the fact that I'm a good drinker.

• 15:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 15:11Sam Morril?

  You don't wanna be bad energy when you drink.

• 15:13Speaker 00

  You're the one that says, being in a New York bar in the winter and walking outside and feeling that cold, crisp air hit ya.

• 15:20Sam Morril?

  I romanticize it. I romanticize like a good cocktail, a, a good drink.

• 15:24Speaker 00

  You see even say cocktail good.

• 15:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  There's something good to it around the winter. Like a bar like Patty's or something, you pile, it's already buzzing, but like there's enough place to, it's crowded, but you can still move. You're not waiting for a drink, and then you like bundle up with the crew, and you go like, oh, let's go. We're walking to the stand or whatever. You all like mosey on that way.

• 15:41Mark Normand?

  It feels like that, that Goodfellas scene where they're all, they, they got the Lefanza heist and they're all hanging out.

• 15:46Speaker 00

  Lefanza.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  Lefanza.

• 15:48Mark Normand?

  Sorry.

• 15:49Speaker 00

  Talking about the coffee company?

• 15:50Mark Normand?

  Never seen the movie. Uh, but you know what I mean.

• 15:53Sam Morril?

  Is that airline?

• 15:55Mark Normand?

  What is it?

• 15:56Speaker 02

  Lefanza.

• 15:56Speaker 00

  Lefanza.

• 15:57Mark Normand?

  What did I say?

• 15:58Speaker 00

  Lefanza.

• 16:00Mark Normand?

  It's the air plugs. I get the, I want a lot of medication. Take an Ambien like, uh, fucking Roseanne over here.

• 16:06Speaker 00

  Really? Did they give you any pain pills?

• 16:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I went through them in like ten minutes.

• 16:09Speaker 00

  My man.

• 16:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 16:10Sam Morril?

  Are you really out of pain pills?

• 16:11Mark Normand?

  I'm out of pain pills.

• 16:12Speaker 00

  What'd they give you? Perk?

• 16:13Mark Normand?

  Just those, those crazy Tylenols, you know, those like...

• 16:16Speaker 00

  Tylenol with codeine?

• 16:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 16:17Speaker 00

  That's what they gave you?

• 16:18Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 16:19Speaker 00

  What the fuck's going on out here?

• 16:20Sam Morril?

  Should you have like perks or something?

• 16:21Mark Normand?

  At least, at least, something. Vicodin, something.

• 16:25Speaker 00

  Give you a light bulb and a bag of meth, something. Fucking take the edge off. What are we doing here, Sal? The guy just had fucking eight hours surgery. You give me a fucking Tylenol with codeine?

• 16:34Mark Normand?

  Took the subway home, baby.

• 16:35Speaker 00

  Woo.

• 16:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:37Speaker 02

  Well, and who was that guy? The taxi driver?

• 16:39Mark Normand?

  That was a different ride.

• 16:42Mark Normand?

  That was a good couple of beers.

• 16:43Speaker 02

  You took this subway home?

• 16:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, you did.

• 16:46Mark Normand?

  Nah, I'm joking.

• 16:47Speaker 00

  Must've been an expensive procedure.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  Did you ever see the, the pictures from the flights from Turkey?

• 16:51Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  There's like fifty bald guys all over.

• 16:54Sam Morril?

  Vider's got a great bit about it. He's on, he's on the plane, he had to come back through Turkey, and, uh, he looked like the only guy who like went there and got cold feet.

• 17:04Speaker 00

  I don't wanna do it, man.

• 17:06Mark Normand?

  My friend did the Turkey, came back swollen.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  Dude, they swell up to like, it looks like, you look like Megamind. It's crazy.

• 17:11Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  I'd be so afraid of swelling up, and then I'd panic.

• 17:17Mark Normand?

  All right, easy. He's right here.

• 17:18Speaker 00

  If you swell up, take the SATs again, see how you do.

• 17:22Speaker 06

  They're calling it Turkish hairlines.

• 17:24Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 17:25Speaker 00

  Ah, that's pretty good. Who's saying that? Who's saying that? Hot chicks? Fucking, what do you want from these guys? They're trying to get fucking their shit together.

• 17:31Mark Normand?

  Chick couldn't think of that. That's gold.

• 17:34Speaker 00

  That's... Dolly could've thought of it.

• 17:35Mark Normand?

  Dolly, we miss you.

• 17:36Speaker 00

  Only in Turkey. Full flights.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Somebody offered us, the flights out, put up, and his like dad owns the biggest one in Turkey or something, and he's like, I'll do the hair for free.

• 17:47Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 17:47Sam Morril?

  They just want, they're just fans, they wanna do that?

• 17:49Speaker 02

  I guess, and I think if you probably say, you know...

• 17:52Speaker 00

  I'm gonna stay to the Middle East for a little while.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  I know, that's crazy. I'm like, I can do it in Midtown.

• 17:56Speaker 00

  I do wanna go to Turkey, though. Go to Istanbul.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  Go by the...

• 17:58Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  That's cra- I would, I would, if you woke up like that...

• 18:01Speaker 00

  Are you still doing Pittsburgh?

• 18:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  Hair transplant.

• 18:07Sam Morril?

  You just gotta commit to being a supervillain.

• 18:09Speaker 00

  That's like when you put the rubber bands around a watermelon to see if it blows up.

• 18:11Mark Normand?

  I know, right? Jesus.

• 18:13Sam Morril?

  You gotta walk around doing a lot of these.

• 18:16Speaker 02

  You gotta pet a cat.

• 18:17Speaker 00

  I'll get you, Morril. And you too, Salacuse.

• 18:21Mark Normand?

  He's wearing a cock ring. Look at that.

• 18:23Sam Morril?

  That is.

• 18:24Speaker 06

  It didn't get better.

• 18:25Sam Morril?

  Oh, my god.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 18:26Sam Morril?

  Looks like his sunglasses are under there somewhere. Look at that shit.

• 18:29Speaker 02

  They sewed them in there.

• 18:30Sam Morril?

  That is brutal.

• 18:31Speaker 00

  The doctor's in the parking lot going, wait a minute.

• 18:35Speaker 00

  What the fuck?

• 18:35Mark Normand?

  My blue blockers.

• 18:37Sam Morril?

  That is crazy.

• 18:38Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  They seem, they seem rough in Turkey.

• 18:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, what, I mean, how much money is they, are they bringing into Turkey? They must be killing it just cause of the hair thing.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:47Mark Normand?

  Cause didn't, uh, what's his face? Uh, Adams? Did he go to Turkey?

• 18:51Speaker 00

  Who's Adams? Mayor Adams?

• 18:53Sam Morril?

  Isn't he bald? Isn't he still bald?

• 18:55Mark Normand?

  Maybe he went for some other nefarious...

• 18:58Sam Morril?

  What?

• 18:58Mark Normand?

  Operations. He got in trouble going to Turkey.

• 19:01Speaker 02

  Oh, never mind. Uh...

• 19:03Speaker 00

  I think he was using CityFrost or something like that.

• 19:05Sam Morril?

  Laser hair removal.

• 19:06Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 19:08Speaker 00

  Laser hair removal.

• 19:10Mark Normand?

  Put Turkey...

• 19:11Speaker 00

  Laser in Turkey? You get that done on Long Island. I used to do laser hair removal.

• 19:15Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 19:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, I was a driver for them.

• 19:17Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 19:18Sam Morril?

  What, what does that do?

• 19:19Speaker 00

  The forefront of the industry. This is back fucking, this is before nine eleven.

• 19:22Mark Normand?

  Are we talking vaginal?

• 19:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, the girls, the broads would get, would get it done. This guy that I worked for, he sold, uh, fake boobs, and he had ins with all the high-end plastic surgeons in the tri-state area. His wife worked for a laser company. They had just come out with this laser hair removal and varicose veins laser. They were too expensive to buy if you were a doctor's office, so they came up with the idea to own a company where you rent them to a doctor's office, do it once a month, knock everybody out, fucking cleaned up.

• 19:50Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 19:51Speaker 00

  Got it, got it. He did so well, he got his face painted at the Palm, cause they ate there so much.

• 19:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, my god.

• 19:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:57Sam Morril?

  How do you get rid of a varicose?

• 19:58Speaker 00

  Shout out to Rocky and Gino.

• 20:00Sam Morril?

  Sal, pull it up.

• 20:01Speaker 00

  That's a lot of shrimp cocktail.

• 20:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you got that right.

• 20:04Speaker 00

  But, yeah.

• 20:05Mark Normand?

  I have a whole new respect for fake tit ladies, nose job ladies, all that shit now.

• 20:10Speaker 00

  BBL?

• 20:11Mark Normand?

  BBL included.

• 20:12Sam Morril?

  How many women are dying from these BBLs, though?

• 20:14Speaker 00

  I don't like them.

• 20:15Sam Morril?

  I feel like there's an influence of dying once a week from this shit.

• 20:18Mark Normand?

  Well, they get them done in, like, a back alley.

• 20:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's not where you wanna get a discount.

• 20:22Mark Normand?

  No.

• 20:22Sam Morril?

  Your fu- your ass?

• 20:23Speaker 00

  Let me ask you this, Mr. Mark Norman.

• 20:25Mark Normand?

  Please.

• 20:26Speaker 06

  You think you're watching somebody who's really good at therapy. This is actually an FDA-approved detergent with safe injection into the superior superior veins. It provides pain relief and of course...

• 20:37Speaker 00

  I got varicose veins.

• 20:38Sam Morril?

  Do you really?

• 20:38Speaker 00

  Oh, okay, one way to bingo.

• 20:39Mark Normand?

  Pull him up.

• 20:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. You won't be able to get them too bad, but they're, they're not great.

• 20:44Mark Normand?

  You're like a science teacher.

• 20:48Speaker 00

  I'm not gonna be able to get him down now.

• 20:49Mark Normand?

  Those poor pants. Get a, get a scissor.

• 20:53Speaker 00

  God damn it.

• 20:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, boy.

• 20:54Sam Morril?

  I can't believe you did it, man.

• 20:56Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 20:56Speaker 02

  That's a big step. How long were you contemplating?

• 20:59Mark Normand?

  Years.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  Years.

• 21:01Mark Normand?

  And it takes so long. This guy's got a list like Epstein. I mean, it's just so many names and I had to wait a good two years to get it done.

• 21:07Speaker 02

  Really?

• 21:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  No shit?

• 21:09Mark Normand?

  Finally, my number came up, so I had to take it.

• 21:11Sam Morril?

  You weren't a list for two years?

• 21:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:13Sam Morril?

  Holy shit.

• 21:14Mark Normand?

  Maybe a year and eight months or something like that, but it's been a while.

• 21:17Sam Morril?

  Damn, why is it, why is it so hard to get on a?

• 21:19Mark Normand?

  He's in demand. This guy's the best, Jerry.

• 21:21Sam Morril?

  Is there anyone else in the city who does it? Is this who, so this who Mateo went to?

• 21:24Mark Normand?

  This is Mateo's guy.

• 21:25Speaker 00

  Does he carry himself like a rich doctor?

• 21:27Mark Normand?

  He does, yeah. Good, good.

• 21:28Speaker 00

  Little bit of flash?

• 21:29Mark Normand?

  Good head of hair, nice watch, couple of rings.

• 21:32Speaker 00

  Tan, is he tan?

• 21:33Mark Normand?

  Earring, uh.

• 21:34Sam Morril?

  An earring?

• 21:35Mark Normand?

  No, I'm just kidding. Uh, yeah, he's tan.

• 21:37Speaker 00

  What are the broads in the office like?

• 21:38Mark Normand?

  Very high end.

• 21:40Speaker 00

  Let's go.

• 21:40Mark Normand?

  And I had to make a joke after I had my bandage on. I go, alright, now it's time for the penile implant. And they went, we've heard that one.

• 21:50Speaker 00

  Sold out shows, Pittsburgh. Let me ask you this.

• 21:53Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 21:54Speaker 00

  Now, this is for this, you did this for you to, to feel good, this career thing? Is this?

• 22:00Mark Normand?

  I think career, I think I'd look bad bald. Uh, I'd, I'd like to.

• 22:05Speaker 00

  You know how good looking of a guy you are, right?

• 22:06Mark Normand?

  No.

• 22:07Sam Morril?

  Your hands are good.

• 22:07Speaker 00

  You're crazy.

• 22:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, get out of here.

• 22:09Sam Morril?

  I will say that curly.

• 22:11Speaker 00

  I've always said that.

• 22:12Sam Morril?

  Curly and bald is a rough look.

• 22:13Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 22:14Sam Morril?

  It is. Like, name one dude other than Kelsey Grammer who's pulled it off.

• 22:18Speaker 00

  Larry David.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  He's not curly, is he?

• 22:21Mark Normand?

  Bald, his whole thing is I'm a bald guy. You gotta make it your thing. I didn't want to be the thing.

• 22:25Speaker 02

  It's also, he's on, I mean.

• 22:29Sam Morril?

  He had a comb over, I think.

• 22:30Speaker 00

  He was famous.

• 22:31Sam Morril?

  He was famous.

• 22:32Speaker 02

  He's gotta see himself every day. Larry David didn't have to see himself.

• 22:34Speaker 00

  I gotta see myself every day. That's a treat?

• 22:36Speaker 02

  No, but I'm just saying that you're, you're aware of it more.

• 22:38Mark Normand?

  Oh, that is me. Son of Sam.

• 22:41Speaker 00

  I know it's Berkowitz!

• 22:42Mark Normand?

  Son of Sam Morril. Look at that.

• 22:45Speaker 00

  Um.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he was not a, he was not a looker.

• 22:48Mark Normand?

  Huh?

• 22:48Speaker 00

  Where does this stop? Twenty years from now?

• 22:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 22:51Speaker 00

  Are we getting, uh, are we getting a tuck?

• 22:53Mark Normand?

  A facelift, a little toddler? No, no, just hair. I'm not gonna go surgery.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  Dude, Michael Jackson started with, I'm just gonna get the nose. He died a white lady.

• 23:00Mark Normand?

  Well, he also fucked kids.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  He'll start fucking kids.

• 23:03Mark Normand?

  Alright, fine.

• 23:05Sam Morril?

  It is also, yeah, it's facial, like, anything facial with comedians, you're losing expressions.

• 23:11Mark Normand?

  I agree. I'm already embarrassed enough about this. I don't wanna go.

• 23:14Speaker 00

  Don't be embarrassed, you crazy?

• 23:15Mark Normand?

  Nose and cheek and all that shit.

• 23:17Speaker 02

  What you saying now? It's a slippery slope.

• 23:19Speaker 00

  I've thought about my under eyes from my, uh, uh.

• 23:25Mark Normand?

  Drug use?

• 23:26Speaker 00

  Okay. Um, has, they're noticeable. I never had that. Now they're.

• 23:31Mark Normand?

  Nah, I don't see it.

• 23:32Speaker 00

  I might get a little Botox.

• 23:33Sam Morril?

  Don't.

• 23:34Mark Normand?

  Don't do it.

• 23:35Speaker 00

  Definitely that penile implant. I'm gonna give that a couple of years. Get a hog on me. Fucking go back and bang a bunch of ex-girlfriends. Be like, see, who's scrawny now?

• 23:43Sam Morril?

  Are you, are you single?

• 23:45Speaker 00

  No, I'm, I'm dating somebody.

• 23:46Mark Normand?

  Hey! Who is he?

• 23:50Speaker 00

  Kelsey Grammer.

• 23:51Mark Normand?

  Alright, you can do worse.

• 23:54Mark Normand?

  Tell me why I love you like I do.

• 23:57Speaker 00

  He was a partier back in the day.

• 23:59Mark Normand?

  Toss salad and scream.

• 24:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah. I don't know if it was partying, though. It was demons, I think. I don't think it was fun.

• 24:04Speaker 00

  No.

• 24:04Mark Normand?

  No, no, no, no.

• 24:05Speaker 00

  It's seldom is, I'll tell you.

• 24:06Sam Morril?

  Dark, dark Kelsey Grammer at a bar would be something.

• 24:09Mark Normand?

  Did he have a, a bad, like, voicemail go out or something? Or is that Pat O'Brien?

• 24:14Speaker 02

  Pat O'Brien had one.

• 24:15Sam Morril?

  How the hell do you confuse those two?

• 24:16Mark Normand?

  Well, they're both raging alcoholics from the nineties.

• 24:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but I don't, I think it was Pat O'Brien.

• 24:21Speaker 00

  Kelsey had trauma.

• 24:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, hell yeah. Wow, that's a full flip there.

• 24:27Speaker 00

  He had trauma, though. His sister was, like, murdered or something.

• 24:29Mark Normand?

  Is that right?

• 24:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, horrible trauma. And dad, I think.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  He's like fucking Billy Joel. Tiger Woods.

• 24:36Speaker 00

  Doesn't somebody do a, oh, no, that was in the Charlie Sheen documentary.

• 24:39Sam Morril?

  Dude, the Billy Joel story about how he came up with, you know, when he, in the dock, he's driving back drunk on a motorcycle? And his wife's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're a lunatic. And, and that's when it hit him like, you may be right, I may be crazy.

• 24:51Speaker 00

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 24:52Sam Morril?

  I just might be the lunatic you're looking for. And it's like, oh my god, in a blackout, he's coming up with song lyrics.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  Killers.

• 24:58Sam Morril?

  And then she said that when she heard the song and he, uh, she heard the, the line, turn out the lights, don't try to save me, she knew it was over.

• 25:05Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 25:07Sam Morril?

  Crazy.

• 25:08Speaker 00

  You're ready to hit like that, I'm sticking around.

• 25:10Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 25:11Speaker 00

  The piano man? Fuck that.

• 25:13Mark Normand?

  Also, he made it sound so chipper.

• 25:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 25:15Speaker 00

  You may be right.

• 25:18Sam Morril?

  She's packing her bags, crying.

• 25:20Speaker 00

  I killed a homeless guy.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  They're playing at a weddings and shit. I ran over a kid.

• 25:25Mark Normand?

  Damn, alright, Billy. That was a great doc.

• 25:27Sam Morril?

  That was a great doc.

• 25:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, when he, uh, he's going out in the Hamptons and he's paying for bills and they're like, hey, that was a nice, uh, house you bought there on the lake. He's like, huh? I love that Ferrari you got there. He's like, who? And they're like, oh, that was a great yacht you had. And he's like, huh? His accountant was stealing everything?

• 25:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  That scares, yeah, that scares.

• 25:43Speaker 00

  I have a theory about this, though.

• 25:44Mark Normand?

  Please.

• 25:45Speaker 00

  Might be an unpopular opinion. Uh, Billy Joel was Billy Joel, obviously, in the seventies and eighties, right? That's about the time when that happened, right? Wasn't it like in the nineties where this guy ripped them off?

• 25:56Mark Normand?

  The nineties.

• 25:57Speaker 00

  Blow my whole thing.

• 25:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 25:58Speaker 00

  CDs were becoming big. Everybody was going out and getting their tapes and their records on CD.

• 26:05Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:05Speaker 00

  Okay? Billy Joel's greatest hit, one and two, double album. I don't care if you were fourteen years old or you were ninety years old. That was getting bumped everywhere.

• 26:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 26:15Speaker 00

  That guy ripped them off. He went on the, that, he toured relentlessly and became Billy Joel.

• 26:22Mark Normand?

  Sure, that's right.

• 26:23Speaker 00

  So, if that didn't happen, he might have kicked it in neutral.

• 26:27Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 26:28Sam Morril?

  Same thing happened to Leonard Cohen in his seventies. His manager ripped him off for like five mil. That was Leonard Cohen, the singer? Uh, five mil, manager rips him off, and he was like, I guess I gotta go back on tour. I don't have any money left. And in his seventies, he toured and it was like the best shit he ever, best shows he ever did. But he was very, you know, he was like, living in a monastery, Leonard Cohen. He was very zen. He was kinda like, oh.

• 26:51Speaker 00

  See, it's good I blew it all. We're gonna be together for a long time, baby.

• 26:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but it's your money, you should get to blow it. Huh? It's your money, you should get to blow it.

• 26:59Speaker 00

  And I did.

• 27:00Mark Normand?

  But it goes to show you, when your back's against the wall as an artist, that's when you do the best shit. That's why when you're a young comic, you're pumping it out, cause you're, you're broke.

• 27:08Speaker 00

  Einstein did his best work as a patent clerk. What's that from? Salacuse? Ghostbusters.

• 27:13Mark Normand?

  Ah, I knew that. Zbiotics, I gotta tell you about this game-changing product I drank before a night out with drinks. It's called Pre-Alcohol by Zbiotics. Zbiotics Pre-Alcohol. Probiotic drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was engineered by PhD microbiologists to break down acetylhyde, an unwanted byproduct of alcoholic, of alcohol metabolism. Make pre-alcohol your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly and enjoy your next day activities. Zbiotics has sold more than fourteen million bottles and earned the trust of thousands, including us.

• 27:48Sam Morril?

  I use it all the time. I never leave home without it. I pound one of these. I feel a little better going into a hard night of drinking.

• 27:54Mark Normand?

  You feel cool. They're little. You, you take them down. You feel like a scientist or something.

• 27:58Sam Morril?

  I love it.

• 27:58Mark Normand?

  I like that it fits in a, into a responsible routine. You drink pre-alcohol as your first drink of the night. Pace yourself, drink in moderation, and get a good night's sleep. It is about thinking ahead so you can enjoy drinks with friends while still being intentional about what you put into your body. Try for yourself today. And if you are unsatisfied, they will refund your entire order, no questions asked. Head to zbiotics.com/drunk. Code DRUNK for fifteen percent off your first order. Zbiotics is a partner of mine.

• 28:27Sam Morril?

  You ever notice how the second you lock in your pics, you completely change as a person? Before kickoff, you're chilling, relaxed, maybe a little bored. Then you lock your pics in. Now you're standing three feet from the TV because somehow that's helping. You're Googling weather reports for stadiums eight states away. You're screaming, just throw it to him. You know, like you got a direct line of the quarterback, you know? Honestly, I think that's the best part of sports. Not the outcome, the sweat, the being a fan. The stretch between making your pick and finding out you're a genius. That's why I play. And those of us who watch and sit up not all the way in the back, it's gotta be Underdog. For this season, don't just watch. Lock in with Underdog and give every game a pulse.

• 29:09Sam Morril?

  Download Underdog to play. Keep your million. Start with one million dollars. Make it all through twenty picks and walk away with whatever is left in the bonus funds. Underdog. Unleash your dog. Trading involves risk, including a total loss of positions. Content is promotional and not a recommendation to trade. Terms apply. Promotion issued by affiliate. Starting a business can feel overwhelming. You needed a website, inventory management, checkout, payment processing, and about ten other systems before you've even made your first sale. Shopify puts everything you need to start and grow your business in one place. Shopify's templates help you create a professional-looking website quickly with no coding required.

• 29:50Sam Morril?

  If you need help along the way, Shopify's built-in assistant Sidekick can help you build, troubleshoot, and keep moving. Shopify Checkout makes it easier for customers to complete their purchases, and returning customers can check out with a single click because Shopify handles the setup and checkout. You have more time to focus on actually growing your business. Shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide, from household names to people making their very first sale. If you hear, if you're ready to hear the Shopify cha-ching on the very first sale today, head over to Shopify.com/Drunk to start your free trial today. That's right. Start your free trial at Shopify.com/Drunk. That's Shopify.com/Drunk. Sucker.

• 30:30Sam Morril?

  Quince. Getting dressed for the fall should be easy. A good sweater, pants that fit, a jacket that keeps you warm. Somehow, buying those three things can cost you more than your vacation. Quince makes high-quality staples using premium materials like one hundred percent Mongolian cashmere. That's a good cashmere, I guess.

• 30:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:48Sam Morril?

  Organic cotton, merino wool. You know I love merino wool.

• 30:51Mark Normand?

  That's the best wool.

• 30:52Sam Morril?

  That's that wool. Keeps your feet nice and warm in the winter.

• 30:55Mark Normand?

  Very nice.

• 30:56Sam Morril?

  Love merino wool. Their cashmere sweaters start at sixty bucks. That's wild. They also have premium down jackets, classic wool outerwear for when the temperature drops. Everything at Quince is priced fifty to eighty percent less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen, so you're paying for quality instead of the brand markup. That's right, no kid labor, I would, I think. Sounds like no kid labor. Is it ethical, right? Uh, no animal testing, probably, ethical?

• 31:23Mark Normand?

  Very good.

• 31:23Sam Morril?

  I, I wear their shit all the time.

• 31:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, I love Quince.

• 31:26Sam Morril?

  I love it, dude. I, it's quality, it fits right, and it's not expensive. I, I love it. And I like what, like, when it's not the logo everywhere on it.

• 31:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah, true, true.

• 31:34Sam Morril?

  It's got, it's got everything going for it. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five day returns, now available in Canada and the UK as well. And when Quince asks, well, you heard about him? Let him know it was We Might Be Drunk. It's the best way to support the show. Quince!

• 31:54Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 31:56Speaker 00

  I'll see you guys later.

• 31:57Sam Morril?

  You either do your best work when your back's against the wall, or you kill yourself.

• 32:01Speaker 04

  True.

• 32:01Mark Normand?

  It's a, it's a, it's a fine line.

• 32:03Speaker 04

  It's a fight or flight.

• 32:04Sam Morril?

  That's a, that's a top reason people commit suicide. It's relationship, it's money troubles.

• 32:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Yeah, cuz you know it's-

• 32:10Speaker 00

  I got the deck stacked against me.

• 32:13Mark Normand?

  His lady left him too, when these money got stolen, which is pretty fucked up. Billy.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  Christie Brinkley?

• 32:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 32:18Sam Morril?

  I think she left-

• 32:18Speaker 00

  Stepped out on him? Uptown girl?

• 32:20Mark Normand?

  Uptown.

• 32:21Sam Morril?

  She left over other shit, probably.

• 32:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, maybe the drink in.

• 32:24Sam Morril?

  The drink in's probably the-

• 32:25Mark Normand?

  A little coincidental. Mark goes off on Billy Joel. Did you guys see that?

• 32:30Speaker 00

  No, what, you getting hit pieces?

• 32:31Mark Normand?

  I made one joke about Tom Segura, and this guy made a whole video, 10 minute video about how I went off. Cut that.

• 32:38Sam Morril?

  Cut that.

• 32:39Speaker 00

  That's funny you pull up this young lady, cuz I just saw her walk in, uh, in the US Open.

• 32:45Mark Normand?

  You saw her?

• 32:46Speaker 00

  No, no, no. I saw her on the internet, walking to the US Open. I thought it was her mom.

• 32:50Speaker 04

  With Richard Gere's son.

• 32:53Speaker 00

  Is that who that was?

• 32:53Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 32:54Speaker 00

  Wearing the regular jeans?

• 32:55Speaker 04

  They're both in a show called Shards right now, which I just recommended to you.

• 32:57Mark Normand?

  I'm loving it.

• 32:58Speaker 00

  They're both on a show?

• 32:59Speaker 04

  They're both on a show called Shards. It's a Brett Easton Ellis thing.

• 33:02Speaker 00

  I like the jeans that kid was wearing. They look like old school jeans.

• 33:05Sam Morril?

  Let's see.

• 33:05Mark Normand?

  I'm writing a show called Shards. It's about farting on celebrities in this pod.

• 33:09Sam Morril?

  It's about the gerbil that was living inside him.

• 33:13Speaker 00

  Um, I, we ruined her dinner one time.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, her, Heidi Gerber, Austin Butler.

• 33:20Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 33:20Speaker 02

  Randy Gerber and Cindy Crawford were behind us at dinner. We had no idea. We were, I didn't know.

• 33:25Sam Morril?

  How'd you ruin the dinner?

• 33:26Speaker 02

  We were just loud drunk assholes.

• 33:28Speaker 00

  Elbowed Austin Butler.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  Pumping into their chairs.

• 33:30Speaker 00

  But I got beef with Gerber. Gerber and I don't get along.

• 33:33Mark Normand?

  Is that the baby food?

• 33:34Speaker 00

  That, no.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  That's her daughter?

• 33:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 33:37Speaker 04

  And that is Richard Gere's-

• 33:39Sam Morril?

  How tall are we talking?

• 33:41Speaker 00

  That's a cool pair. I like that. Let's see, that's the kinda look I'm talking about.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  That's very Billy Joel.

• 33:45Speaker 00

  You got this guy Jacob Malorty wearing all these fucking crazy, and, and Timothy Chalamet, no shot against him, they're wearing all this fashion stuff. This kid's walking around in a pair of jeans and a crisp button up, and he looks fucking great.

• 33:54Mark Normand?

  He looks like Gere.

• 33:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:55Mark Normand?

  It's a throwback.

• 33:56Speaker 00

  That's what we gotta get back to. Look at that right there. That's a classy kid right there.

• 33:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:00Speaker 00

  Sharp.

• 34:01Mark Normand?

  Jerry.

• 34:01Speaker 00

  That's probably a pair of fucking Levi's.

• 34:03Mark Normand?

  That's the 90's all over again.

• 34:04Speaker 00

  Let's go.

• 34:04Speaker 02

  There's no way it's Levi's.

• 34:07Speaker 00

  Wrangler?

• 34:09Mark Normand?

  Lee jeans?

• 34:09Speaker 04

  Dungarees?

• 34:10Speaker 00

  I don't like Randy Gerber. We gotta, me and him gotta-

• 34:12Sam Morril?

  Who's Randy Gerber?

• 34:13Mark Normand?

  He's a cunt. I watched the doc on him.

• 34:14Speaker 00

  Is that true?

• 34:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, he's very cocky.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  Guy. He's one of the, he, he made Casamigos with Clooney.

• 34:20Mark Normand?

  Wait, he's the music guy?

• 34:22Speaker 04

  No.

• 34:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, who am I thinking of?

• 34:23Speaker 04

  He's a restaurant guy.

• 34:24Mark Normand?

  I'm thinking of Burger. Who's the, who's the king? The, the music guy. He does all the producing. The producer. I love Randy Newman.

• 34:32Speaker 02

  Rick Rubin.

• 34:33Mark Normand?

  No, he's a hot guy, he's tall. He had a documentary.

• 34:37Speaker 00

  Michael McDonald.

• 34:37Mark Normand?

  L.A. guy.

• 34:38Speaker 00

  She came from somewhere.

• 34:39Mark Normand?

  He's a producer, not a singer. Maybe he's a singer. He's piano.

• 34:43Speaker 00

  Phil Spector.

• 34:44Mark Normand?

  Similar.

• 34:45Sam Morril?

  He was a, he was a bad guy.

• 34:46Mark Normand?

  No, white guy.

• 34:47Speaker 00

  Norman!

• 34:47Mark Normand?

  He was banging a, a hot lady. Oh!

• 34:50Speaker 00

  They're all banging hot ladies.

• 34:51Mark Normand?

  He's a music producer.

• 34:52Speaker 00

  Leonard Bernstein.

• 34:53Speaker 02

  Is he young?

• 34:54Mark Normand?

  Eh, he's probably 55, 60. He's been around. He did all of Taylor Swift. He does all of, uh, you know.

• 35:02Speaker 00

  Oh, you're talking about the guy that she sued? What's his name? That's dating, um, uh, Sydney Sweeney?

• 35:07Mark Normand?

  Not Geffen.

• 35:08Speaker 04

  Geffen, oh, sure.

• 35:08Speaker 00

  Not Geffen.

• 35:09Mark Normand?

  Not Scooter.

• 35:10Speaker 00

  The other guy. The guy I bombed in front of at Schultz's show.

• 35:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Oh, I can't think of this guy.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  Scooter Braun.

• 35:15Mark Normand?

  He's got a whole documentary on him. He's older than that.

• 35:17Speaker 04

  What songs has he made? Give me one, give me one song he made.

• 35:18Mark Normand?

  I don't know.

• 35:19Speaker 00

  Neil Shadakis.

• 35:20Mark Normand?

  No, no, no.

• 35:21Sam Morril?

  The comments are going crazy.

• 35:22Speaker 00

  Rod Stewart.

• 35:23Mark Normand?

  I thought it was Gerber. Berber. Burger. I think he's dating a supermodel, housewife.

• 35:29Sam Morril?

  I think you're getting dementia from that fucking transfer.

• 35:30Mark Normand?

  Maybe you're right.

• 35:31Sam Morril?

  You've slone, you're the tortoise in the hair right now.

• 35:33Mark Normand?

  I can't think of the guy's name. Sorry.

• 35:35Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 35:36Mark Normand?

  Ah, he's a hunky guy. He's tall as-

• 35:39Speaker 00

  There is Foster! Come on, he's some LCD sound machine, isn't he?

• 35:43Mark Normand?

  No.

• 35:44Sam Morril?

  Why, why don't you like him? I don't know.

• 35:45Mark Normand?

  I watched the doc. He was just a cocky asshole. But he's put out some good music. That was it. But I think he was dating or married-

• 35:52Speaker 02

  All the way to get there to be the wrong guy.

• 35:53Speaker 00

  He's a billionaire music producer. What do you, what do you, wanted to be humble?

• 35:56Mark Normand?

  Well, go to the, go to the dating history. Go to the, the wives. Sorry, I haven't seen anybody for three days. I've been alone.

• 36:04Speaker 00

  Been in a dental chair.

• 36:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 36:06Speaker 04

  Spouses. BJ Cook, Rebecca Dyer, Linda Thompson, Yolanda Hadid, that's why.

• 36:13Mark Normand?

  Hadid?

• 36:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:14Speaker 02

  Oh, Hadid.

• 36:14Speaker 04

  She has daughters that are supermodels.

• 36:16Mark Normand?

  Okay, okay.

• 36:18Sam Morril?

  He's a young guy to be married that many times.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  That's what we got. He's not young.

• 36:21Mark Normand?

  He's a prick.

• 36:22Speaker 04

  He's born in 49.

• 36:23Speaker 00

  Those high school ladies seem like, uh, they seem like down earth people. I'm being serious. The Hadid, the, the, the daughters.

• 36:30Sam Morril?

  Do they?

• 36:30Speaker 00

  I saw, they got caught, like paparazzi or somebody caught Cooper and her going in somewhere, and she seemed like super cool.

• 36:36Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 36:37Speaker 00

  And we know Cooper's cool.

• 36:38Sam Morril?

  I just saw a guy on the subway on my way here, and he kinda looked like very handsome, older guy, like really together, and you're like, oh shit, he's like, you're like admiring an older man being handsome. And then I got a good look, and he had a little soul patch. I was like, ooh, you were so close.

• 36:51Mark Normand?

  Soul patch, flavor saver.

• 36:52Sam Morril?

  A soul patch is really just, it's never been good.

• 36:55Mark Normand?

  It's like a Hitler on the bottom.

• 36:56Sam Morril?

  It is.

• 36:57Speaker 00

  You gotta be a rusted root to pull that off.

• 36:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 36:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 37:00Sam Morril?

  We need a soul patch guy to pull a genocide, so we can stop that.

• 37:04Mark Normand?

  But yeah, sorry to go off on Foster, but yeah, that, that Gerber, she's, uh, she's alright.

• 37:08Speaker 04

  Five, nine.

• 37:10Sam Morril?

  Oh, she looks taller in the picture.

• 37:12Speaker 04

  Got the heels.

• 37:12Mark Normand?

  Perfect guy.

• 37:13Sam Morril?

  It's also probably that all these people around her are probably short.

• 37:16Mark Normand?

  All these daughters are getting hot. I mean, uh, Johnny Depp's daughter's getting hot.

• 37:19Sam Morril?

  Easy, easy.

• 37:21Speaker 02

  This is going into sweet territory. Cindy Crawford.

• 37:24Speaker 00

  You're gonna be back on that list.

• 37:25Mark Normand?

  These are of age. Who else got a hot daughter?

• 37:28Sam Morril?

  Next episode Mark's like, these kids are fucking hot, man.

• 37:31Mark Normand?

  How old is Jolie Pitt?

• 37:33Speaker 04

  Uh, probably 18.

• 37:34Mark Normand?

  Oh, alright. That's, you never clean.

• 37:37Speaker 00

  Hats down on that one. Um.

• 37:39Sam Morril?

  I don't even know who this is.

• 37:41Speaker 04

  Oh, Maddox, he's 24. Jolie Pitt is 22.

• 37:43Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 37:44Sam Morril?

  It's too young, Mark.

• 37:45Mark Normand?

  Alright, alright. I'm not, I'm not dating her, I'm just saying.

• 37:48Speaker 00

  How would you not be? You're in, you're in Hollywood, you're going to Arowan every day, you got a trainer, you're working out.

• 37:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but the bones are there, fatty. I mean, it's more than just the Arowan. Oh, oh, uh, Michael Jackson's daughter's a real piece.

• 38:01Speaker 02

  Don't scroll back too far.

• 38:02Speaker 00

  Sonic Youth, Jesus Christ.

• 38:04Mark Normand?

  Is that a diaper?

• 38:04Speaker 02

  Yearbook picture.

• 38:05Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 38:06Speaker 00

  Tried growing up in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania on a steady diet of Detroit style pizza.

• 38:09Mark Normand?

  Woo! What is that, the cheddar?

• 38:12Speaker 00

  No, where is that? Alcachus. Why don't you ease up there, Cristalia? Jesus Christ.

• 38:16Speaker 04

  He said, bring up Michael Jackson's daughter.

• 38:17Speaker 00

  Alright.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  She's beautiful.

• 38:18Mark Normand?

  How old is she?

• 38:19Speaker 04

  I don't know. Let's see.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Shouldn't she be African American?

• 38:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, she's stunning.

• 38:25Speaker 00

  Kevin.

• 38:26Mark Normand?

  Genetically?

• 38:27Speaker 00

  Kevin.

• 38:27Mark Normand?

  28.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  Dump it.

• 38:30Mark Normand?

  Take it from the top.

• 38:31Speaker 00

  Sonic Youth hit the cough button.

• 38:34Sam Morril?

  We're older fellows. Let's go, let's go 26 up, minimum.

• 38:39Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  I love how we're sitting here looking at 22 year olds and Norman has fake hair. I'm like, oh, yeah, what do they look like?

• 38:45Sam Morril?

  You're gonna turn that Beamer in for a Corvette, buddy. This is getting rough.

• 38:50Speaker 00

  Six weeks, I'll be cruising by fit, hey ladies?

• 38:52Speaker 02

  How old are the Olsen twins now?

• 38:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, they gotta be 30.

• 38:55Speaker 02

  Gross.

• 38:56Sam Morril?

  No, they gotta be our age, right?

• 38:58Mark Normand?

  This is me outside Equinox.

• 39:04Speaker 00

  Can I say this? I walked by a, a Pilates class, the, the big window.

• 39:11Mark Normand?

  Jerking off. Did they wave you in? Come on, buddy, come on. They got a cheeseburger under a box.

• 39:17Speaker 00

  I felt like I should've put a dollar in the window or something. This was crazy.

• 39:20Mark Normand?

  Unreal.

• 39:21Speaker 00

  I went like this real quick and kept it moving. I don't think I was a creep.

• 39:24Mark Normand?

  Hot women are back.

• 39:25Speaker 00

  Then I crawled back.

• 39:27Mark Normand?

  We had a rough, we had a rough eight years with the Big is Beautiful, the Lizzo's, the whole thing. We all had to pretend, but it's back, baby.

• 39:33Speaker 00

  Big is beautiful.

• 39:34Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 39:35Speaker 00

  Right?

• 39:35Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 39:37Speaker 00

  I'm attracted.

• 39:37Mark Normand?

  The guy on Ozempic. How's that? Would you go needle or pill?

• 39:42Speaker 00

  I like the needle.

• 39:43Mark Normand?

  Oof.

• 39:44Sam Morril?

  Is it fun to put it in?

• 39:45Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah, I like the act.

• 39:47Sam Morril?

  Where, where does it go?

• 39:48Speaker 00

  Uh, I use the salad dressing.

• 39:51Speaker 00

  Salachus?

• 39:54Mark Normand?

  I don't get it.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  That's the clip.

• 39:56Speaker 00

  It sucked.

• 39:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 39:57Speaker 00

  It's a bad joke.

• 39:58Mark Normand?

  But you go, you go side, anal, thigh?

• 40:01Speaker 02

  You only go here.

• 40:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, I go-

• 40:03Speaker 02

  I'm shooting up.

• 40:03Speaker 00

  Opposite sides of the stomach.

• 40:04Sam Morril?

  You're doing it too?

• 40:05Mark Normand?

  You're shooting up?

• 40:06Sam Morril?

  You are down a lot of ways.

• 40:07Speaker 02

  Once the baby was coming, I was, dude, I was so unhealthy, and I was just like, I have to.

• 40:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  I, and, yeah, it was just-

• 40:12Speaker 00

  That's when I put the weight on, when the baby came.

• 40:15Mark Normand?

  Biologically, men hold weight when a baby comes.

• 40:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:18Mark Normand?

  Give it a go.

• 40:19Speaker 04

  So wait a minute, is this a lifetime thing? And just be honest with the rest of your life?

• 40:22Speaker 00

  No.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  No, it also like, you're supposed to use it to change your, like, lifestyle, you know? I started working out more and, you know.

• 40:29Sam Morril?

  Are you going to the gym more?

• 40:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:31Sam Morril?

  That's good.

• 40:33Mark Normand?

  It's Pilates window.

• 40:34Speaker 00

  I'm walking.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  He's at a curve.

• 40:37Speaker 00

  I'm just walking a lot. And my lifestyle has changed.

• 40:40Sam Morril?

  What, like, how has it changed? What are you eating differently?

• 40:42Speaker 00

  I had gone through a divorce. I live in Ian's basement. I gotta walk to the subway, this and that, those kinda things.

• 40:47Mark Normand?

  Wait, you're living in Ian's basement?

• 40:48Speaker 02

  Things aren't great.

• 40:50Mark Normand?

  Whoa, Ian Fidance?

• 40:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, no.

• 40:53Speaker 00

  No, Ian Fleming. Yeah, Ian Fidance.

• 40:54Mark Normand?

  I know, but-

• 40:55Speaker 00

  What? Nothing on that?

• 40:56Speaker 04

  I'm not saying another word.

• 40:58Mark Normand?

  I like Ian Fleming.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  Fucking Sonic Youth has hot Pilates pictures up. We know what boards look like.

• 41:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know what it is either. He's in the background.

• 41:06Speaker 00

  I thought it was, I thought it was a rowing machine.

• 41:09Sam Morril?

  I was living in Ian's basement. Isn't that where the podcast is?

• 41:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:13Sam Morril?

  You're sleeping on the podcast couch?

• 41:15Speaker 00

  I'm next to the set. I'm writing the action.

• 41:19Speaker 00

  I'm writing Hollywood.

• 41:19Sam Morril?

  You waking up to Jordan Jensen calling him a bitch?

• 41:23Speaker 00

  They have, they have, they have a respectable recording schedule.

• 41:26Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 41:27Sam Morril?

  Is that, is that?

• 41:28Mark Normand?

  That's not a big role.

• 41:29Speaker 00

  It's awesome.

• 41:29Mark Normand?

  You stretch out, you knock over three Ghostbusters.

• 41:31Sam Morril?

  What do you get you in place? You're doing well?

• 41:33Mark Normand?

  On TV.

• 41:34Speaker 00

  I was doing well.

• 41:35Mark Normand?

  The hottest show in town.

• 41:36Speaker 00

  Hottest show in town, yeah. But I do my best work with a gun to the back of my head.

• 41:40Mark Normand?

  That's what they're telling him not to kill himself.

• 41:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 41:42Mark Normand?

  You may be crazy.

• 41:43Speaker 00

  No, um, I blew a lot of that last summer.

• 41:46Sam Morril?

  On what?

• 41:48Mark Normand?

  And a little bit this summer on blue.

• 41:52Speaker 00

  Where you been? Did you crack a newspaper? What do you mean? I'm a goddamn drug addict.

• 41:57Mark Normand?

  What the hell? Have you been to Hampton's all week?

• 41:59Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 42:00Sam Morril?

  What newspaper? Alright. Daniel Foley's a piece of shit? What the hell? Damn it.

• 42:06Mark Normand?

  He started the Penn State coke ring.

• 42:07Speaker 00

  No, I didn't.

• 42:08Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 42:09Speaker 00

  But I put a lot of those kids through college.

• 42:12Mark Normand?

  How cool was that story, by the way, huh?

• 42:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:14Mark Normand?

  I mean, look, it's not, it's not ideal, but better than kid rape.

• 42:18Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 42:19Sam Morril?

  Is that, is that what drove the, I'm sorry if I'm prying too much here.

• 42:22Speaker 00

  No, please pry.

• 42:22Sam Morril?

  Is that what drove the marriage apart?

• 42:24Speaker 00

  No, it was, uh, that, that was.

• 42:26Speaker 02

  That actually brought them closer together, believe it or not, Sam.

• 42:29Speaker 00

  Uh, that was, uh, wasn't the problem, it was a bad solution.

• 42:35Mark Normand?

  Ah, I don't know what that means.

• 42:36Speaker 00

  That's what they say in rehab. Drugs weren't the problem, they were, they were a bad solution.

• 42:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, I see, I see.

• 42:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. No, I did that all on my own, driving the relationship apart.

• 42:44Mark Normand?

  So how much, how much of that went up your nose financially?

• 42:47Speaker 02

  What's a Patreon do a month?

• 42:49Speaker 00

  A good amount, yeah. I had to work through some stuff. But I was in, uh, I moved out and I was living in Hell's Kitchen and Ian's in recovery, I'm in recovery, and it was a good idea for me to stay with him for a little while. Shout out to my buddy Cousin Ian Finance.

• 43:03Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 43:03Speaker 00

  Hell of a guy.

• 43:04Mark Normand?

  And if you're gonna relapse, you could do better than, you could do worse than Ian.

• 43:07Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 43:08Mark Normand?

  He's a fun dude.

• 43:09Speaker 00

  But I already got my one relapse.

• 43:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, you did?

• 43:11Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 43:12Sam Morril?

  When was it?

• 43:12Speaker 00

  Austin, Texas, March, March 6th, 2026. Everybody at the Creek in the Cave. I apologize. Still a pretty good show.

• 43:19Sam Morril?

  Did you get a bad report? Some people tell stories?

• 43:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:22Mark Normand?

  Any highlights, lowlights?

• 43:24Speaker 00

  Wasn't the best show in the world, I would say.

• 43:26Mark Normand?

  Well, I'm not worried about the show.

• 43:27Speaker 00

  Kevin had a rough weekend.

• 43:29Speaker 02

  It was a bumpy ride for everybody in love. Well, yeah, I mean.

• 43:33Speaker 00

  I got busted cold.

• 43:34Speaker 04

  Foley, can I ask you about that moment?

• 43:36Speaker 00

  What moment?

• 43:36Speaker 04

  That you were like, I'll just do this drug, or I'll just do this thing.

• 43:39Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 43:40Speaker 04

  What was that?

• 43:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah, what, what brought that on?

• 43:42Speaker 00

  Uh.

• 43:43Mark Normand?

  Saw Kevin sit?

• 43:45Speaker 00

  This guy stinks.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  I mean, the Dominican guy in the back.

• 43:49Mark Normand?

  Austin, is it evil in Austin, right? When I landed in Austin, you just wanna.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  It was pre-Austin.

• 43:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Oh, okay.

• 43:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, it was pre-Austin.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  Cause we got to the air, we've never really discussed this publicly. We got, or privately even, we got to the airport for like a 7:00 AM flight.

• 44:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:05Mark Normand?

  In New York.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  In New York, JFK, and he's on the phone with somebody at 5:00 AM.

• 44:10Mark Normand?

  Bad sign.

• 44:11Speaker 02

  And I was just like, whatever, I've never, we've been at the airport.

• 44:14Sam Morril?

  You've either got a great agent or an even better dealer.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  I'm like, well, the other five people you know are here. So that was, you're like, oh, just give me a minute. Like, you were like, conducting business at the fucking.

• 44:24Mark Normand?

  Could you hear her?

• 44:25Speaker 02

  We all walked in, we were like, this is, this is bad.

• 44:28Sam Morril?

  What, did you say anything to him or what?

• 44:30Speaker 02

  No, what do you, I mean, what do you, we, you know.

• 44:32Speaker 00

  They rope-a-doped me.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  What?

• 44:34Speaker 00

  They said they waited.

• 44:35Speaker 02

  No, we, no, well, we, okay. I mean, this is all.

• 44:39Speaker 00

  Let's go.

• 44:39Speaker 02

  This is all real pay, this is typically stuff we withhold for Patreon.

• 44:42Mark Normand?

  He's a changed man.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, and then, uh, it was wa, that first show was, the vibes were wa, it was also kind of funny, on the flight down there, we had a conversation. We were up front.

• 44:52Speaker 00

  Great conversation.

• 44:53Speaker 02

  Everybody else is in the back, and I swear to God, this is how I know my fucking rods and cones are all screwed up. We land, I'm talking to one of the producers, I go, he seems really fucking locked in right now. And they were like, are you fucking crazy? Like, he's all, he's out of this world.

• 45:05Sam Morril?

  Did you just talk yourself into that?

• 45:07Speaker 02

  I don't know. Yeah, it was also just like, that wasn't the, this wasn't the first thing, you know?

• 45:12Speaker 00

  I think I was drinking. Oh, no, I wasn't. Cause I wasn't supposed to be drinking.

• 45:15Mark Normand?

  We gotta break this down. So you landed and got right to your coke guy?

• 45:18Speaker 02

  I think, I don't know.

• 45:19Mark Normand?

  Or you got at the airport?

• 45:21Speaker 00

  No, I didn't get at the airport. That would be a federal crime.

• 45:25Mark Normand?

  Nark? Sorry. Hunter Biden's on next week.

• 45:29Sam Morril?

  Knowing that's not great if you're not a cop.

• 45:31Speaker 00

  The.

• 45:33Mark Normand?

  That's a good point.

• 45:34Speaker 00

  It's a Rico statute 621.

• 45:37Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, it started in New York. I ju, I was, I was re-going through.

• 45:40Sam Morril?

  You didn't fly with it though, did you?

• 45:42Speaker 00

  No.

• 45:42Sam Morril?

  Oh, good, good.

• 45:44Speaker 00

  In my system, maybe, but.

• 45:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah. It's fine.

• 45:46Speaker 02

  Little in his nose.

• 45:48Speaker 00

  I don't know a dog that can smell that high. That sucked too. Fuck.

• 45:54Mark Normand?

  Cut that. They gotta get this guy back on blow.

• 45:57Speaker 00

  Tank it over here.

• 45:58Sam Morril?

  So you get there and what happens?

• 46:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, it started in New York and continued there. It was about a 48 hour to 72 hour relapse.

• 46:06Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 46:06Sam Morril?

  How much do you sleep during a binge like this?

• 46:08Speaker 00

  Zero hours.

• 46:10Sam Morril?

  Fuck.

• 46:10Speaker 02

  He came in, he let, we left the show, at the, at that point, we were all kind of, we were just like, well, like, what do we, you know, what do you do?

• 46:18Mark Normand?

  You could tell he was yipped up all day. And then the show comes.

• 46:22Speaker 02

  My, yeah, so like, I had friends, yeah, I have friends in Austin who were, you know, they.

• 46:25Mark Normand?

  Partake.

• 46:26Speaker 02

  They dabble in, you know, a good time and they.

• 46:28Sam Morril?

  Devil knows his own.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  They like walked out, they were like, what's that? Like, that's, you know, I was just like, yeah, you know, we're, I don't know.

• 46:34Speaker 00

  I can't be happy?

• 46:35Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, I just went.

• 46:38Speaker 02

  Uh, and then, yeah, you were like, I'm gonna go meet.

• 46:40Sam Morril?

  I can't be happy? How much did you spend to be happy today?

• 46:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  Then you left under some real bad story. I don't know, you know?

• 46:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:48Mark Normand?

  Pre-show or post-show?

• 46:49Speaker 02

  Post, but like right after.

• 46:50Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 46:51Speaker 00

  I'm not Red Fox.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  You were like, alright, you know?

• 46:53Mark Normand?

  Disappear before the show.

• 46:54Sam Morril?

  Fuck.

• 46:54Speaker 02

  And he was, he's like, well, we're good, we're good. I'm like, ow.

• 46:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, and you knew. You've never seen Foley run. That's when you knew something was up.

• 47:03Speaker 02

  His legs were moving, he wasn't.

• 47:04Speaker 00

  I gotta go, guys! Yeah.

• 47:06Mark Normand?

  Puff of smoke, yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I disappeared off into the night.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  Showed up at 9:00 AM back to the Airbnb.

• 47:10Sam Morril?

  So, did you do the show together or?

• 47:11Speaker 02

  So we did two shows, yeah, we were at the Creek, we did two shows at the Creek, and then he fucking.

• 47:15Mark Normand?

  I'm sure you killed it. You were like prior up there.

• 47:17Speaker 00

  No.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  No.

• 47:18Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 47:19Speaker 00

  I was on fire.

• 47:22Sam Morril?

  Did you, did you, did you know it was going badly at the moment or?

• 47:26Speaker 00

  Not that first one.

• 47:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 47:28Speaker 00

  The second one, I knew it was pretty bad.

• 47:30Mark Normand?

  Sweating.

• 47:31Speaker 00

  Sweating, off kilter.

• 47:33Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 47:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:34Sam Morril?

  And what are you accusing?

• 47:34Speaker 02

  You accused one guy in the crowd of relapsing. Do you remember that?

• 47:37Speaker 00

  I do.

• 47:37Speaker 02

  He's like, I'm clean. You're relapsing, you're not relapsing right now? And we were all like, well, this is pretty bad.

• 47:41Mark Normand?

  Projecting.

• 47:42Speaker 02

  And then at one point, the woman's like, we're like, oh, what do you do? She's like, I'm a nurse. She's like, how do I look right now? Do I look okay? And she's like, what? And I'm like, um.

• 47:49Speaker 00

  She was hot. I liked her.

• 47:52Mark Normand?

  So you went to the strip club?

• 47:53Speaker 00

  No.

• 47:54Mark Normand?

  Where'd you go?

• 47:55Speaker 00

  Phew, those files are.

• 47:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 47:59Mark Normand?

  He's just some.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  Torch's tacos?

• 48:02Speaker 00

  What'd you say?

• 48:02Mark Normand?

  Torch's tacos?

• 48:05Speaker 00

  It wasn't a donut pub. Um, yeah. And then I rolled back in around nine o'clock in the morning.

• 48:10Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 48:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:11Mark Normand?

  Pretty reasonable time.

• 48:12Speaker 00

  I'd like to get a fresh start in the day.

• 48:14Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 48:14Speaker 00

  And I was in my room for about a half an hour, and then there was a knock at the door, and, uh.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  It was more than a half an hour.

• 48:21Speaker 00

  Okay. Time moves quick.

• 48:23Sam Morril?

  It was Voodoo Donuts, so like, you owe us $1,200.

• 48:28Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, and then I walked out to some, uh, some long faces in the living room.

• 48:33Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 48:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:34Sam Morril?

  And what, and how do you handle this?

• 48:35Speaker 00

  It was like the screening room of a bad movie.

• 48:37Speaker 02

  At this point, this was, yeah, my, you know, full.

• 48:41Speaker 00

  Are you okay with this?

• 48:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you? I didn't, I didn't.

• 48:45Mark Normand?

  You're the victim here.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was okay. I was, I had, this was not the first kind of incident we had had specifically on the road.

• 48:54Speaker 00

  LA and Austin.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  In a, you know.

• 48:56Mark Normand?

  Hmm. Well, you used to open for Mulaney.

• 48:59Mark Normand?

  Okay, cut that.

• 49:02Mark Normand?

  Alright, keep it.

• 49:03Speaker 00

  Which endeared me so much, so much to him.

• 49:05Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 49:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:06Mark Normand?

  I agree, that was fun.

• 49:07Speaker 02

  Now, do we have confirmation, like, when did he start using again? That's like, was like, new in town? That's all clear.

• 49:11Speaker 00

  I'm right here, ask me.

• 49:13Sam Morril?

  Hold on, hold on, we're, we're.

• 49:16Mark Normand?

  One coke out at a time here.

• 49:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was kind of resigned at that point. Like, there were, you know, the whole team was there, and I was just like, I mean, we had, this is stuff we, I've said to him, obviously, it was just like, hey, man, you gotta, this is the second conversation in a handful of months where it's like. The product, the shows are like, we're not, I'm like, I have a kid, we're all flying down here, we're spending a shit ton of fucking money to put, like, we're living like.

• 49:38Speaker 00

  I was in a bad spot.

• 49:39Speaker 02

  We're blowing the whole fucking check in like a $5 million house with a cold plant, like, you know, I'm like, we're doing this for fun and to like, shoot content.

• 49:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 49:47Speaker 02

  Now, you're not shooting con, we can't do, you know, you're tanking the shows, there's no fucking content being made, we don't need to fly six guys around for the fuck of it. You know, I'm like, we're coming home with no money, no fucking episodes, no nothing. If you wanna go to Austin and get all fucked up, by all means, but.

• 50:02Mark Normand?

  The irony is that this would be great content, if you could film this fucker. Put a, put a body cam on this motherfucker, let him just hit the town. And it's a big body cam, but you know what I mean?

• 50:11Sam Morril?

  Your mind is going to, to get a Patreon, he's killing himself with this shit.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's also like.

• 50:16Speaker 00

  I'm trying to kill myself.

• 50:17Mark Normand?

  I'm not promoting, I'm just, he's doing it anyway. He'd wanna put a GoPro on the bastard.

• 50:21Sam Morril?

  You sound like one of the demons at fucking CAA or something. Like, okay, if you're gonna kill yourself, we need, we need a camera crew.

• 50:28Mark Normand?

  Let me call Mr. Beast.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  I'd be lying if we didn't try to hook one up while he was sleeping.

• 50:32Mark Normand?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  He kept falling out.

• 50:35Speaker 00

  He didn't sleep.

• 50:36Sam Morril?

  Foley, how do you respond when he, when he says this to you?

• 50:38Speaker 00

  What?

• 50:39Sam Morril?

  Like, when, yeah, the shows aren't going right.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  I think it would be funny if you.

• 50:42Speaker 00

  We've had long discussions of what I've put them through. It's fucking, yeah, the guilt and all that stuff is brutal, which I'm in that, you're in, you're in that now in recovery of.

• 50:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 50:50Speaker 00

  You know, like I said, the drugs weren't the problem, they were a bad solution, and now you're figuring out what the problem was and going through all that. And I was just at a, I was just, um, yeah, it was the, was the worst time of my life.

• 51:04Sam Morril?

  I'm glad you're sober now, man.

• 51:05Speaker 00

  Huh?

• 51:06Mark Normand?

  About a year?

• 51:06Speaker 00

  About a year ago. It ran for about 18 months and then, uh, went into rehab, outpatient rehab in October.

• 51:12Sam Morril?

  I'd heard you partied down the road. I didn't know it was this serious, man, I'm sorry.

• 51:15Speaker 00

  Well, it wasn't really on the road. We didn't party on the road.

• 51:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, this was all like.

• 51:18Speaker 00

  We have a very strict business, yeah.

• 51:21Mark Normand?

  Was it the divorce?

• 51:23Speaker 00

  The.

• 51:23Mark Normand?

  Is that what sparked it?

• 51:24Speaker 00

  No, it was my, my marriage was falling apart.

• 51:30Mark Normand?

  We gotta pay for that, you guts.

• 51:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we can't use this, we can't use this.

• 51:35Speaker 00

  That was great though.

• 51:36Mark Normand?

  It's funny.

• 51:37Speaker 00

  Um, yeah, my, my, man, my life was just falling apart and I was incredibly sad and depressed and uh, I'd lost my father. I'd never processed that.

• 51:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, I didn't know that. Jeez, I'm sorry.

• 51:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, and uh, childhood trauma, shit like that. I just, I was just fucked up and I thought uh, what we had achieved would save me and.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  Realizing you have all of this stuff and it's like not.

• 51:59Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  I'm still, you're still putting your head on the pillow at the end of the day of like, well, the success and sold out shows and whatever doesn't make you happy.

• 52:09Speaker 00

  Which we appreciate.

• 52:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course. It fulfills you like, do it like from a creative standpoint and stuff like that.

• 52:13Speaker 00

  That was, that was the thing. It's why, why aren't I happy?

• 52:16Mark Normand?

  But can we just say?

• 52:18Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 52:19Mark Normand?

  That moment where you go, I'm doing it. That's a great feeling. What are you doing? I'm just saying.

• 52:25Speaker 00

  Doing what?

• 52:26Mark Normand?

  When you, when you're kinda going down that hole and you're like, I'm already, I'm three lines deep. I got seven whiskies in me. I know it's wrong, but woo, baby, let's live. There's no better feeling.

• 52:38Sam Morril?

  Don't remind him that it's great to fall off the wagon, Mark.

• 52:41Mark Normand?

  No, no, he knows. He knows, he knows what he did.

• 52:44Speaker 00

  Well, another thing that they.

• 52:45Sam Morril?

  So you've been, you were sober, you have one, May, it was March this year that you fell off?

• 52:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 52:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:50Sam Morril?

  So, but other than that, you've been sober for how long?

• 52:53Speaker 00

  Since March. Since March 6th was the last time that I.

• 52:55Sam Morril?

  Okay, that's good.

• 52:56Mark Normand?

  Relapse, now lap band.

• 52:58Speaker 00

  They give you one, or whatever. That was, that was, that was a mistake, not their mistake, but they told, I heard, I heard that in rehab. They were like, you know, relapse can be a part of it. And in the back of my head, I was like, no.

• 53:09Mark Normand?

  So no sauce, no, obviously no drugs, and Ozempic.

• 53:13Speaker 00

  And Ozempic, and walking and all that kinda stuff.

• 53:16Mark Normand?

  Big 180.

• 53:17Speaker 00

  Uh, group therapy, therapy, uh, meetings.

• 53:21Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 53:22Speaker 00

  You know.

• 53:23Mark Normand?

  Wow. And finances couch will wake you up too. That'll snap you back in there.

• 53:28Speaker 00

  He's been, he's been awesome. I mean, Kevin has been, he saved my life.

• 53:33Sam Morril?

  I'm so happy that you, that you didn't take it further, man.

• 53:35Speaker 00

  Not to, not to bring this comedy podcast.

• 53:37Sam Morril?

  No, no, dude, we love you. We don't want, we don't want something bad to happen to you.

• 53:40Mark Normand?

  We need you.

• 53:40Speaker 02

  That's also like, that's like the, the tough, where you're like, talking to a guy where you're like, you're so mad because you're like this fucking, like you're ma, you're kinda making this all fucking suck. Like, you know, but you're like, it's like your best friend at the end of the day and you're like, I want, what's best for you. I, you get to a point, at one point I remember yelling, I'm like, dude, I'm not a drug counselor. I don't know how to fucking, deal with, like, I don't know, I don't know what the answer is, but like, you can't, you know, you try to, try to help them and try to be there and it's like, it's a bumpy, you know, bumpy road.

• 54:09Mark Normand?

  Can't imagine.

• 54:10Sam Morril?

  Well, you know, we have a lot of friends, you know, like Dan Saint Germain's a close friend. I know he's had struggles and stuff and, and working at night, being by a bar, like this does not lend itself to.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  And we're like aware of that now. Like we, like we're aware of like the triggers and stuff and not even like, we just, you know, we just move.

• 54:29Speaker 00

  I'm sorry, mine was all, it was all internal. It was all, everything inside of me. It wasn't, I can fucking, you know, you guys could have beers and fucking hang out and stuff like that. Uh, there was a bag here that might be a little whatever, but that wasn't a social.

• 54:44Speaker 00

  That wasn't a social thing by any stretch of the imagination. And we're just so far past all that now where, that, you know, I've played that tape all the way through and yeah, that, it doesn't do it for me anymore.

• 54:55Mark Normand?

  So what is the key? Cause you know, you're saying you're trying to fill a hole, internal trauma, childhood trauma. What is the, is it just leaning in and owning it? And just accepting it and moving on? What, what's the move there?

• 55:07Speaker 00

  Um, it's dealing with the issues that were below the surface that I never, that I never dealt with.

• 55:13Mark Normand?

  Got it.

• 55:15Speaker 00

  Changing uh, how I, well first learning what it was doing and why I was doing it.

• 55:22Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 55:23Speaker 00

  Synapses, the cycle of it, um, self comfort, all that kinda stuff. Um, you know, I didn't know anything about that.

• 55:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Would you say?

• 55:33Speaker 00

  Very bad human.

• 55:33Mark Normand?

  And tell me if this is insensitive, but most.

• 55:36Sam Morril?

  It will be. It will most certainly be insensitive.

• 55:39Speaker 00

  I want my money back.

• 55:39Mark Normand?

  Classic Norman.

• 55:40Speaker 02

  Just trying to learn here.

• 55:42Speaker 00

  Now as a fat pig.

• 55:45Mark Normand?

  Well, as a, as a big guy.

• 55:47Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 55:48Mark Normand?

  Is.

• 55:48Speaker 00

  That was the biggest I was.

• 55:49Mark Normand?

  Do you think most big guys are doing that for a healing thing? Most fat guys are trying to push something down?

• 55:58Speaker 00

  What, like with the?

• 55:59Mark Normand?

  Like with trauma.

• 56:00Speaker 00

  I've always been an addict.

• 56:01Mark Normand?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 56:03Sam Morril?

  Well, Mark, there's different forms of addiction, you know, like some people, it's alcohol, some people are chain smokers, some people do heroin, you know, it's like, uh, uh, every type of addiction, you're pushing something down, I think.

• 56:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, I, I, I had an, I have an addiction to everything.

• 56:16Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 56:17Speaker 00

  I've never been content, happy, or at peace with myself my entire life. So I do think that, I mean, I, I, I, I don't know, is this anti-fat or whatever, but I look at bigger guys, not bigger guys, but guys that are fucking like, that are like me. You're chasing something away.

• 56:37Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 56:38Speaker 00

  You're not happy.

• 56:38Sam Morril?

  Not physically, of course, but uh. No.

• 56:44Speaker 00

  No, yeah.

• 56:45Speaker 04

  Doesn't Ozempic help you with compulsive behaviors?

• 56:47Speaker 02

  But also a lot of times, I mean, we were talking, Yanis told us when we were talking about this and I've always like kept it in the back of my mind of like, it removes the overeating, which you use to self heal.

• 56:58Mark Normand?

  Uh huh.

• 56:59Speaker 02

  And then you go, oh, well, fuck.

• 57:01Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 57:02Speaker 02

  And so a lot of people start drinking and, cause you're like, you're not solving.

• 57:06Sam Morril?

  But a Prozac can kill your craving for alcohol too.

• 57:08Mark Normand?

  Ansect.

• 57:09Speaker 02

  It can, but they, but they say like, if you're using it just to cope completely, you then lose that tool.

• 57:15Speaker 00

  Somebody butchered told me. Uh, yeah, so you're asking what, yeah, going, dealing with all this stuff, which is like a raw nerve now, cause there's nothing.

• 57:26Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 57:27Speaker 00

  There's nothing to numb it or make it go away or whatever. And on the, does that bound the, you know, food that was um, comforting, isn't comforting anymore?

• 57:36Sam Morril?

  What do you look for, for comfort now? What's something that can help?

• 57:40Speaker 00

  A hug from you?

• 57:41Sam Morril?

  I'll, I'll give you a big hug, dude.

• 57:42Mark Normand?

  Get up there.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  No, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Get out of here.

• 57:49Mark Normand?

  There we go. Well, it takes a lot, a lot of real courage. I'm really impressed. Doing the work, like, like Joe List, when, you know, I knew him when he was.

• 57:59Speaker 00

  Shout out to Jolt and Joe.

• 58:00Mark Normand?

  You know.

• 58:00Sam Morril?

  Oh, Joe was such a, it was, he was.

• 58:03Mark Normand?

  It was a problem, obviously.

• 58:04Sam Morril?

  Joe and I are so close now and I remember drinking Joe and I was like, this, this is a bummer. Cause I, I loved him and I still love him. But that was like the only times we'd fight.

• 58:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 58:14Sam Morril?

  We'd get in each other's face.

• 58:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. And, and to just deal with all that shit he went through and all this, and then you just, own it, swallow it and be a man about it. I mean, to me that takes.

• 58:24Sam Morril?

  And Sodu, you know, Sodu.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  So much ahead of you.

• 58:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  Like, you know.

• 58:28Mark Normand?

  Killing it. Funny than ever.

• 58:30Speaker 02

  Every, like in every avenue.

• 58:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 58:32Sam Morril?

  Dan Sodu, I remember how much Dan used to drink. And Dan's, you know, he's open about this, but I remember we used to hit the bar with, like Barcelona bar, any of those bars with him. Shot in the beer guy and you're like, man, so, you know, yeah, I think there, everyone's, you're chasing something for sure.

• 58:46Speaker 00

  The good news is, for Kippy and the boys, I was always a tough hang when I was drinking, so I, I wasn't.

• 58:52Mark Normand?

  Is that right?

• 58:54Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah. I mean, it was like good, it's like good till it's kinda not, you know what I mean?

• 58:58Mark Normand?

  Right, right. Tough on the hookers. I mean, you gotta, you gotta hit it on the bottom. Yeah.

• 59:03Sam Morril?

  Follow the strangler.

• 59:05Mark Normand?

  And on the flip side, you know, I think Nate Bargatze, maybe have a beer every now and then, you tight son of a bitch. Guy could use a hug and a, and a, and a highball.

• 59:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, we, we and the boys, we went through it uh, uh, this last year and they've been fucking unbelievable to me and fantastic. And then we turned around and did our special down in fucking Tampa.

• 59:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, shout out, we're plugging uh, American garbage on our YouTube channel.

• 59:31Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 59:32Speaker 02

  That was also, goes back to Austin. Austin was the, we booked a weekend at the creek as like a tune up game before the fucking.

• 59:38Mark Normand?

  We got tuned up.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  We're like, let's get on the same page. We'll fucking, you know, we'll, we'll get the, we'll, for the creek, we'll get flowing, we'll roll right into the special. And that's what I wake up to and you're like.

• 59:50Speaker 00

  Then we turned around and knocked it out of the park in true, are you garbage fashion?

• 59:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:53Speaker 00

  Shout out to SideSplitters.

• 59:54Mark Normand?

  When's that popping?

• 59:55Speaker 00

  September 13th, our YouTube page. American garbage.

• 59:58Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah. Check that puppy out.

• 1:00:00Speaker 04

  This comes out September 13th.

• 1:00:02Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  Go check it out. Right now.

• 1:00:06Speaker 00

  I could be gone by now. Check out this.

• 1:00:08Speaker 02

  We're gonna have to put uh, in memory of.

• 1:00:11Speaker 00

  I'm not going anywhere.

• 1:00:12Sam Morril?

  You better not, yeah. I can announce this too now. This is the day I can announce Netflix special, uh,

• 1:00:18Speaker 00

  Let's go.

• 1:00:18Sam Morril?

  September 29th. So I hope you watch it.

• 1:00:21Speaker 00

  Make it everybody win it.

• 1:00:22Sam Morril?

  Sam Morril Incorrect, also filmed in Tampa. So big, big month for Tampa, baby.

• 1:00:27Speaker 00

  Norman, any plugs for you?

• 1:00:31Mark Normand?

  Get out of here.

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  Well, he's back, baby.

• 1:00:32Speaker 00

  I'm back, baby.

• 1:00:34Mark Normand?

  Uh, doing a special called Dolly Fartin.

• 1:00:38Sam Morril?

  Featuring Nate Bargatze.

• 1:00:39Speaker 00

  I'm sorry if that was too serious.

• 1:00:40Mark Normand?

  That was amazing. That was, we want you to be around forever.

• 1:00:43Sam Morril?

  That was heavy, man. That was beautiful. I'm, I'm glad you're okay. I mean, that's.

• 1:00:46Speaker 02

  And we, okay is a fucking stretch.

• 1:00:49Sam Morril?

  Well, you're on the.

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  We were literally fighting on the walk here and the guy's like, are you garbage in the living room? And I'm like, shut the fuck up.

• 1:00:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but you're on the road to being okay and you're gonna get there.

• 1:00:58Speaker 02

  He's making a lot of great, a lot of great, yeah, this is literally what I was saying. It's like.

• 1:01:02Speaker 00

  I'm in early recovery.

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  You're facing all of this stuff and I'm like, I can't imagine waking up every day being like, just getting hit in the head with a fucking shovel of, you know.

• 1:01:10Speaker 00

  I, I bit off a lot. You know, I could, I could have done this in the slower process, but I, I bit off a lot.

• 1:01:16Sam Morril?

  But dude, call, you know, you gotta know our number. Call us if you're like on the road and you're like.

• 1:01:19Speaker 00

  Wanna get a beer or something?

• 1:01:21Sam Morril?

  No, seriously.

• 1:01:22Speaker 00

  Bodega cat.

• 1:01:23Sam Morril?

  Call us, man.

• 1:01:24Speaker 00

  Of course, of course. I mean, yeah, all the, all the boys, Jolt and Joe has been fucking amazing.

• 1:01:29Mark Normand?

  Great, great.

• 1:01:30Speaker 00

  And uh, Ian, obviously.

• 1:01:32Mark Normand?

  Yep, yeah.

• 1:01:32Speaker 00

  And uh, yeah, Kippy and.

• 1:01:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:36Mark Normand?

  Ian was on the, the horse, right?

• 1:01:38Speaker 00

  What?

• 1:01:39Mark Normand?

  He was on the H for a while, I think.

• 1:01:41Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  I don't think so.

• 1:01:42Mark Normand?

  I got some bad intel. I talked to the wrong translator.

• 1:01:47Mark Normand?

  I thought he was on heroin. I'm thinking of John.

• 1:01:50Speaker 00

  You're on codeine right now. You're all jacked up on Ambien.

• 1:01:53Mark Normand?

  Who's the fat guy from Philly with all the tattoos?

• 1:01:55Speaker 02

  John Nun.

• 1:01:56Mark Normand?

  He was on, he was on the H.

• 1:01:58Sam Morril?

  Ian's losing club weekends. They're like, we heard you're on heroin, Chris and Mark. I'm clean, you idiot.

• 1:02:04Mark Normand?

  Well, either way, you're on the needle.

• 1:02:05Speaker 00

  This guy's snapping pics. What the hell? What kinda setup is this? He's like, I'm traveling with drugs?

• 1:02:14Speaker 00

  This guy's working for the Turkish intelligence agency.

• 1:02:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:17Speaker 00

  For all we know.

• 1:02:17Speaker 04

  So let me bring it down even lower. September 11th is the 25th anniversary. That happened two days ago.

• 1:02:22Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:02:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, guys have any?

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  You're a barrel fucking laugh, Alex.

• 1:02:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, right? Jesus.

• 1:02:27Speaker 02

  My dick.

• 1:02:28Speaker 00

  Let me ask you, what was it like when your father died? I was at a minivan in Springfield, Missouri on our way to the Blue Room.

• 1:02:34Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:02:35Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:02:35Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 1:02:36Mark Normand?

  Quit bragging. Yikes.

• 1:02:37Sam Morril?

  I kinda liked that room, actually.

• 1:02:39Mark Normand?

  That's not bad. The old one. I don't, I haven't, I didn't love the new one.

• 1:02:42Speaker 02

  Ah, well, we'll be there. Tickets available.

• 1:02:44Speaker 00

  Let's go!

• 1:02:44Mark Normand?

  The new room's great.

• 1:02:45Speaker 00

  Army Garbage Store.

• 1:02:46Sam Morril?

  I like it. I like it.

• 1:02:47Mark Normand?

  Well, I did the one with like a theater, a high theater.

• 1:02:50Speaker 02

  No, someone, oh.

• 1:02:51Mark Normand?

  Maybe they changed it again.

• 1:02:52Sam Morril?

  The guy who ran it was helping, uh, Kanye's presidential campaign get off the ground.

• 1:02:57Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:02:57Sam Morril?

  Weird thing to volunteer for.

• 1:02:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:59Sam Morril?

  But.

• 1:03:00Mark Normand?

  I respect that.

• 1:03:02Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:02Speaker 02

  Just going full-blown crazy.

• 1:03:04Speaker 00

  Today, the 25th anniversary of 9/11? Yeah. Huh.

• 1:03:07Mark Normand?

  Quite a show at the Garden they're putting on there.

• 1:03:09Sam Morril?

  I saw that. That's pretty cool.

• 1:03:11Mark Normand?

  It's like Jon Stewart, uh, fucking Ronnie Chang, Gillis, Nikki Glaser, Seinfeld.

• 1:03:16Sam Morril?

  Pete, I think, is on it. Yeah.

• 1:03:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:18Speaker 04

  Were you guys in New York for that?

• 1:03:20Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, I was.

• 1:03:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:21Speaker 00

  Yeah. 34th and 2nd.

• 1:03:24Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:03:24Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:03:25Speaker 00

  I was sleeping because I was fucked up the night before.

• 1:03:28Mark Normand?

  Uh-huh.

• 1:03:28Speaker 00

  Which if I would've been awake, maybe I could've.

• 1:03:30Mark Normand?

  Could've done something.

• 1:03:31Speaker 00

  Could've done something. See something, say something.

• 1:03:33Mark Normand?

  There's a lot of guys who are too hungover to get that flight, save their life.

• 1:03:36Sam Morril?

  Ooh, Seth MacFarlane was one of them.

• 1:03:38Mark Normand?

  Seth MacFarlane and Mark, Marky Mark.

• 1:03:40Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:03:41Mark Normand?

  He missed the flight hungover. Pull it up.

• 1:03:42Sam Morril?

  I, fuck, it was, uh, you know those guys Chad and JT?

• 1:03:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:46Sam Morril?

  Fuck, I forgot. It was one of them. I forgot which one. I think it was JT had the joke about how, you know, Mark Wahlberg said, you know, if he was on the flight, he, it would've been different.

• 1:03:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:54Sam Morril?

  And he goes, "But I'm not gonna lie, if I was on that flight and I, and I saw Mark Wahlberg, I'd be like, we got a chance."

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:04:00Sam Morril?

  I love that bit.

• 1:04:01Mark Normand?

  Remember that old Chappelle bit? He's like, "I think these black guys are gonna save us." Oh.

• 1:04:09Mark Normand?

  You don't remember that bit?

• 1:04:10Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:04:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, from, uh, the old, uh, Kill Them Softly?

• 1:04:14Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 1:04:14Mark Normand?

  There were two terrorists on the plane and, uh, the, the, the lady goes, she saw Chappelle and some other guy and she's like, "I think these black guys are gonna try to save us." And he went, "Mm-mm."

• 1:04:24Sam Morril?

  I remember the bit.

• 1:04:25Speaker 00

  That wasn't a Kill Them Softly?

• 1:04:26Mark Normand?

  I'm telling you.

• 1:04:27Sam Morril?

  I've been seeing that special in a minute.

• 1:04:28Speaker 02

  Norman lost his fastball in the surgery.

• 1:04:31Speaker 02

  It's not my bit.

• 1:04:33Speaker 00

  My brother worked at the American Stock Exchange and he was.

• 1:04:36Speaker 04

  Oh, wow, right there.

• 1:04:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, he was down there.

• 1:04:38Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:04:39Speaker 00

  They were just fucking brutal.

• 1:04:40Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:04:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:41Sam Morril?

  But he made it out.

• 1:04:42Speaker 00

  We lost contact with them for about five hours.

• 1:04:43Mark Normand?

  Ew.

• 1:04:45Sam Morril?

  God, you don't know what's happening? Must be fucking awful.

• 1:04:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that really brought the country together. We could use another anniversary.

• 1:04:51Sam Morril?

  Well, thanks for the prompt, Salacuse. This was nice.

• 1:04:54Mark Normand?

  Good times.

• 1:04:55Speaker 02

  Any other tragedies you wanna breeze over? Katrina?

• 1:04:57Speaker 00

  Let's go with the COVID numbers, uh, Salacuse.

• 1:05:03Sam Morril?

  Well, shit, you guys want, you got any dates you wanna plug?

• 1:05:05Mark Normand?

  Well, we got the special.

• 1:05:06Speaker 00

  We got the special?

• 1:05:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're on tour. Now, we just announced a, a tour as well.

• 1:05:09Speaker 00

  Couple of funny guys.

• 1:05:10Speaker 02

  Uh, everything's avail. It's a new tour. Everything's, will, it's not up yet. Uh, it goes on Friday. Will be available, uh, on areyougarbage.com. We're kinda going everywhere, uh.

• 1:05:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, we are.

• 1:05:20Mark Normand?

  You ever get guys trying to offer you drugs?

• 1:05:23Speaker 00

  Remember in LA?

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  Just recently, right?

• 1:05:26Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:27Speaker 02

  It was like after the relapse and I'm, I kinda had to step in.

• 1:05:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:32Mark Normand?

  Well, you know, they like to re-relapse you. Like, uh, Steve-O. I went for Steve-O once. I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but he doesn't think it was. Watch this. "Hey ladies, uh, just letting you know I'm a recovering sex addict, so don't try to fuck me." And then lines of women.

• 1:05:46Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 1:05:46Mark Normand?

  Not to ram up lines, but they would, they would line up, uh, to, to bang him and he would bang them all.

• 1:05:51Speaker 00

  You know, I'm also a psych addict.

• 1:05:54Speaker 00

  Hello, ladies. Um.

• 1:05:57Sam Morril?

  That is smart as hell.

• 1:05:58Speaker 00

  Hollywood Improv, right?

• 1:06:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, but there were somewhere even, we were just recently at a meet and greet and.

• 1:06:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, we were out front.

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  Where the fuck were we?

• 1:06:05Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 1:06:06Speaker 02

  No, but, yeah.

• 1:06:07Speaker 00

  But I thought about it. The, the, Henry in the back of my head was like.

• 1:06:11Mark Normand?

  Henry? Oh, Henry.

• 1:06:12Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh. The Hollywood Improv, a kid walked up and it looked like it was fucking straight out of the tap.

• 1:06:22Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:06:23Speaker 00

  Fish scales.

• 1:06:24Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:06:25Speaker 00

  Man.

• 1:06:26Mark Normand?

  Baggy?

• 1:06:27Speaker 00

  No, it was in a, it was in a thing and it had like a little straw in it too.

• 1:06:31Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:06:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was all ready to go. It was here.

• 1:06:35Mark Normand?

  Capri Sun?

• 1:06:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:36Mark Normand?

  What are they talking? I'm picturing the, the Pulp Fiction case.

• 1:06:39Speaker 00

  That's, I might as well go know what it was.

• 1:06:41Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:06:41Speaker 00

  The chippy was right there, but that was before.

• 1:06:43Speaker 02

  That was way before anything.

• 1:06:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  That was years ago.

• 1:06:46Mark Normand?

  Can I get that ice pack? Oh. I gotta ice, uh, every hour.

• 1:06:51Speaker 00

  The head?

• 1:06:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:52Speaker 00

  Man, like Tom the Cat.

• 1:06:55Mark Normand?

  Tom the Cat?

• 1:06:55Speaker 00

  What?

• 1:06:57Mark Normand?

  Who's Tom the Cat?

• 1:06:58Speaker 00

  Tom and Jerry?

• 1:06:59Mark Normand?

  Uh, gee, that was a, that was a stretch.

• 1:07:01Speaker 00

  This is gonna be a 12-minute podcast.

• 1:07:04Mark Normand?

  We're keeping it all in, baby.

• 1:07:06Speaker 00

  I apologize.

• 1:07:07Mark Normand?

  Might have that Chappelle bomb.

• 1:07:09Speaker 00

  Can I crack it for you?

• 1:07:10Mark Normand?

  Please.

• 1:07:11Speaker 00

  Love that.

• 1:07:11Mark Normand?

  You love crack. There we go.

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  Probably just, yeah, you just shake it.

• 1:07:15Mark Normand?

  What am I doing wrong?

• 1:07:16Speaker 00

  You don't crack them?

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  You don't pop it anymore.

• 1:07:17Speaker 00

  Oh, what?

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  That's old school.

• 1:07:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:19Speaker 02

  I'm old school, Janice.

• 1:07:20Speaker 00

  Squeeze to activate.

• 1:07:21Mark Normand?

  Ooh.

• 1:07:22Speaker 00

  I think you do gotta pop it.

• 1:07:23Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 1:07:24Sam Morril?

  Richie April, baby.

• 1:07:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Gun to the head.

• 1:07:27Speaker 00

  You gotta pop it?

• 1:07:28Mark Normand?

  Squeeze.

• 1:07:31Speaker 00

  I wanna pop it so bad.

• 1:07:32Speaker 04

  Close it to the mic, Mark. People are loving this at home.

• 1:07:34Mark Normand?

  Oh, sorry.

• 1:07:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:36Mark Normand?

  It's not getting cold, Peters.

• 1:07:38Sam Morril?

  This is great content we're doing right here.

• 1:07:41Speaker 00

  What, are we live streaming right now?

• 1:07:43Sam Morril?

  Uh, all right, yeah, so, uh, I'll be in Copenhagen September 13th, Nashville September 18th and 19th. Uh, then the following weekend, San Diego American Comedy Co., then Phoenix. This could all be moved if we get to shoot the movie as.

• 1:07:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, let's go.

• 1:07:59Sam Morril?

  Phoenix, Pittsburgh in November. Then we got Cleveland, Madison and, uh, Timonia, Maryland. That's enough for now. We don't have to go in a, in a, yeah, we got like Miami and West Palm in January. And, and of course, the special, please watch the special on Netflix, Samarow Incorrect. I, I like it. It's a good one, so I hope you enjoy it.

• 1:08:16Mark Normand?

  Incorrect? I like that.

• 1:08:17Speaker 04

  I'll read your dates since your eyes are covered. It's, Mark's in Winnipeg on September 13th, Minneapolis on the 24th of September. Then he's doing Denver, Colorado, Comedy Works on, in October 1st.

• 1:08:30Sam Morril?

  Great one.

• 1:08:30Mark Normand?

  Some of this might move with the, with the flick.

• 1:08:32Speaker 04

  Then Madison at the Comedy on State. Everyone says that's a great place to do comedy.

• 1:08:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:08:38Speaker 04

  Um, Charleston, South Carolina, Portland, Oregon.

• 1:08:41Mark Normand?

  Uh, like Rihanna over here.

• 1:08:42Speaker 04

  Uh, San Jose Improv in November, Austin, Texas on November 12th, Bethlehem, Las Vegas, Nevada, Charlotte, North Carolina. He's all over the place. Austin, Texas.

• 1:08:53Sam Morril?

  All over the place and, and, uh, and do we have the Are You Garbage Store dates?

• 1:08:57Speaker 02

  Uh, no, they're not up yet. It's all right. But yeah, just check it. Uh, we'll be in like Fort Wayne, uh.

• 1:09:03Speaker 00

  Pop it?

• 1:09:03Speaker 02

  I forget. San Jose, San Diego.

• 1:09:06Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 1:09:09Mark Normand?

  All right. Oh, yeah. Foley squeezing bags again.

• 1:09:15Speaker 00

  That's cold. Feel that.

• 1:09:16Mark Normand?

  You got it?

• 1:09:17Sam Morril?

  That's, that's good.

• 1:09:17Speaker 00

  Can't get that in Turkey.

• 1:09:19Mark Normand?

  You got that, right?

• 1:09:20Sam Morril?

  That's nice.

• 1:09:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, cold turkey.

• 1:09:22Sam Morril?

  All right. Well, you guys are the best.

• 1:09:24Mark Normand?

  Thank you, guys.

• 1:09:24Sam Morril?

  Buy some Bodega Cat Whiskey. Bodega Cat Whiskey.com. We love you. We'll see you next week.

• 1:09:28Mark Normand?

  By the time this comes out, I'll have a full head of hair.