Caitlin Peluffo, Usama Siddiquee, Joe List, Greg Fitzsimmons w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

Fresh off Netflix's Funny AF, Usama Siddiquee and Caitlin Pelufo join Mark and Sam to talk comedy competitions, roast battles, Last Comic Standing horror stories, World Cup hot takes, Knicks mania, pet peeves, and the weirdest corners of the internet. Plus, Joe List and Greg Fitzsimmons unexpectedly drop in to share stories about Norm Macdonald, Chris Rock, classic roasts, and life on the road. Check out Caitlin's Special: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M5HKgLyjcI Caitlin's Website: https://www.caitlinpeluffo.com Usama's Website: https://www.usamastandsup.com Joe List: https://www.comedianjoelist.com Greg Fitzsimmons Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCbvXBPkDe6APk8yT-Wc_fAg Sponsored by: Protect your family's future with Ethos Life Insurancehttps://ethos.com/drunk Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBDMerch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/ticketsMark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com@GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #UsamaSiddiquee #CaitlinPelufo #JoeList #GregFitzsimmons #Ethos #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:04Sam Morril?

  Roll?

• 0:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we're rolling.

• 0:06Speaker 02

  Rolling? Wow, that was so quick.

• 0:08Sam Morril?

  Let's do it in and out.

• 0:08Speaker 02

  Is this water?

• 0:09Mark Normand?

  Yes, take some water. Nice nails.

• 0:11Sam Morril?

  I'll take some water.

• 0:12Mark Normand?

  Freddie, holy hell.

• 0:13Sam Morril?

  Whoa, holy shit. Yeah, what's the... They're not practical.

• 0:16Speaker 02

  No, not at all. I need a man.

• 0:18Speaker 03

  Is that Gel X?

• 0:19Sam Morril?

  Feels nice to be needed. Welcome to We Might Be Drunk, here with Osama Siddique and Caitlin Peluffo, fresh off Funny AF on Netflix.

• 0:27Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 0:28Mark Normand?

  Just signed up for season two.

• 0:30Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  Yes, yeah.

• 0:31Speaker 03

  And you had to tag somebody to get into the show? No?

• 0:34Speaker 02

  It's not a real...

• 0:35Speaker 03

  You used to what? Dude, it was this weird thing. So we did the show. They didn't tell us about this at all. They had this thing where they had a post on Instagram. Tag a friend who thinks you'd be good at the show.

• 0:45Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 0:45Speaker 03

  And here comes all the homeless weirdos. I'm good, I can do it.

• 0:49Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 0:50Speaker 02

  And it's not even like, that account isn't associated with the show. It's just a fan.

• 0:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 0:55Speaker 03

  It was a random post out of nowhere. But then remember those comic strip lottery days?

• 1:00Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:00Speaker 03

  Where you'd see comics come out of the ground? Like, what were you for three years? That was going on. I was like, who are these people tagging who?

• 1:08Sam Morril?

  Dude, I remember when I finally got my comic strip opportunity. It's like, I drew sixth on the show. So you were like, at the end of a three-hour show. And then, and then five amateurs are going on before me. And I was like, fuck, alright, I hope I can just make it to the end, whatever. I hope the crowd stays. The crowd stays, like, 80 people. And I'm like, alright, thank God. The guy before me has a full-on nervous breakdown on stage. Like, he just starts going, "Oh, fuck, I'm bombing, I'm bad at this." He like, has a full-on freakout. And he goes, "Oh, fuck, I suck." And in my head, I'm like, "Just get off the stage."

• 1:37Mark Normand?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:38Sam Morril?

  He walks, I want to say like, all but 12 people. And I had to go on for 12 people.

• 1:42Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:43Sam Morril?

  And it went like, how well can you do for 12? But it went just enough that the owner's like, "Yeah, you didn't look like scared up there, so I'm passing you." There was a low bar after a guy nearly shits himself before you.

• 1:53Mark Normand?

  I can't believe Veder went on before you.

• 1:55Speaker 03

  Dude, I was just gonna do that joke. Was it? Was it Gary? Yeah, Rich, I remember Rest in Peace, he was like, "You're very funny, you're very good, can't use ya."

• 2:03Mark Normand?

  What?

• 2:04Speaker 03

  That was it, just all compliments at the end. We already have a tall brown guy with a weird eye, yeah.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  I think he already had a girl.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:11Sam Morril?

  They were like stuck in the past for sure. Come here, we used to manage Eddie Murphy or like, oh, you've told this story 400 times tonight.

• 2:19Mark Normand?

  If you walked in with two pies, they would have hired you. It's like, that's comedy.

• 2:23Speaker 03

  Dude, they still have the little open mic list, right? Where they have like, uh, Seinfeld's name, Eddie Murphy's name.

• 2:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's right.

• 2:29Speaker 03

  That's cool.

• 2:29Sam Morril?

  It is cool. No, the headshots, the old headshots in clubs is, it is cool.

• 2:33Speaker 03

  I think it's very cool.

• 2:34Sam Morril?

  Cause you're killing time and it's kind of like a museum in a way, you know?

• 2:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the coolest is, uh, Zany's in Chicago has Ellen, a handwritten letter from Ellen, Jerry Seinfeld gave me your address, I'd love to work your club, I'm not gay yet. Something like that. Really cool.

• 2:50Sam Morril?

  Call us back when you're gay. It doesn't sell yet.

• 2:54Mark Normand?

  But yeah, speak of crazies, I did the last comic standing wait in line, like the open casting call. Holy shit, the ghouls and goblins in that line. I mean, it was like a guy dresses Batman, is a magician, it was Judy Gold.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  It was all the same person. Dude, they had a more of a vetting process for that one. This show was not, you had to do like a questionnaire.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  We had to meet with like a psychologist.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  Psyche Val.

• 3:22Sam Morril?

  What kind of background check are we talking?

• 3:23Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 3:24Speaker 03

  Like a full criminal.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  Criminal also went through our Instagram and everything to make sure that we weren't saying like crazy shit.

• 3:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:30Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. They like vetted our social media.

• 3:33Mark Normand?

  So Cosby couldn't get in, which is kind of a shame. I'd love to see him do a set.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Pass the first round, Loki. He's like, I'm trying to come back. I love the young people.

• 3:44Mark Normand?

  But out of all the shows like this, there's been a million of these competition shows, this was definitely the most well done.

• 3:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:50Sam Morril?

  It's so nice, it's not NBC either, that you can actually curse, cause we know how hard it is. You go round and around.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  I would not be on that show.

• 3:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's a good point, yeah.

• 3:58Speaker 03

  The first word you said was smegma, I think.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  I think I said, I said pussy.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  Pussy, smegmukly.

• 4:04Sam Morril?

  Mic check.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Pussy.

• 4:09Sam Morril?

  That's what, but it's so hard. I remember on NBC back in the day, we're like, oh my God, like, I mean, we'd done a ton of late night sets, but they had a, they were stricter than late night. Cause they're like, this is on to like eight.

• 4:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:18Mark Normand?

  Squeaky.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  Cause y'all came in up in like right before us, where it was like last comic standing was that thing for y'all. And also this is like a Netflix thing. So people could watch it after it's done. So I'm getting people now being like, I watched it last week, which is not going to happen for a.

• 4:31Sam Morril?

  Are people still watching?

• 4:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. People come up to me, they're like, don't tell me how it end. And I was like.

• 4:39Mark Normand?

  Well, yeah, I did a show with you, what, two weeks ago at the Union Square Park?

• 4:42Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:42Mark Normand?

  You got a huge pop.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:44Mark Normand?

  So people are watching it.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  People are watching it. People are sweet.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  People are very nice. Yeah.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  I haven't gotten a lot of hate. I got a lot of, I get a lot of DMs and they're usually like, oh, so my face.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:54Mark Normand?

  I was drinking at the time.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  But the rest of them are like very nice. They're like, oh, we, we enjoyed you very much. And I was like, this never happens.

• 5:02Mark Normand?

  Great.

• 5:02Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 5:03Mark Normand?

  Great.

• 5:03Speaker 02

  It's usually women shouldn't vote.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  Well, they could think that and also be like, you're pretty funny out there. I think like, uh, I'm not sure if y'all had this, like after the show, was the demographic crazy? Like I'm getting like random white dude incels. We're talking like abuelita grandmas. You know, some.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  I swear to God, my audience looks like a, just a UN meeting.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  It's crazy. It's crazy. It's really crazy. And we, we've been mutual for a long time. We're friends for a long time going in. So I don't know if y'all had the same thing where y'all coming up with the rounds together with your friends.

• 5:36Mark Normand?

  I didn't make it that far.

• 5:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah, me neither. I was gone pretty quickly.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  What, really?

• 5:40Sam Morril?

  We were out.

• 5:41Mark Normand?

  Oh, they, they wanted, they wanted like a sitcom person. And then we're two guys like with 10 minutes on pedophilia.

• 5:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we didn't have, we didn't have the personalities.

• 5:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 5:49Speaker 03

  No, I remember it was you. Didn't you talk back to?

• 5:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I talked back to Keenan. That was my one cool moment is that, is that Norm after that put his arm around me. He was like, as, because we weren't supposed to cross paths, but Norm put his arm around me and he was like, I liked the shit on him. So that was a cool moment, but, but I did go home that night. So.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Why did you say to Keenan?

• 6:08Sam Morril?

  It was just like a quick zing back and forth. It wasn't like anything harsh. It was, I made a joke about one of the scary movies.

• 6:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:14Sam Morril?

  But it wasn't that hard. I mean, uh, but he, but yeah, they.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  No, there was one, I remember this line, cause I was coming up as a comic dude. I was seeing you on this episode, bro. It's a formative moment.

• 6:22Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  This guy, I'm telling you right now, this guy, uh, one of the judges was like, yeah, I don't know if you're a good guy, you're a bad guy, or you're like, I don't know, you're a stud. And then Sam goes, so I'm what, a three dimensional person? And everyone laughed. And then I think they're like, get out of this show.

• 6:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah, something like that.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  Do not have a good one on us, please.

• 6:40Mark Normand?

  They don't want any pushback.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  At all?

• 6:42Sam Morril?

  Uh, not really, but it sounds like something I would say.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's very.

• 6:45Sam Morril?

  I think women have said that to me dating. I've been like, so what?

• 6:49Speaker 03

  I cheat. I don't cheat. I'm a winner.

• 6:50Sam Morril?

  I'm keeping, I'm keeping you on your edge. It's a show, lady.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  It's part of your journey.

• 6:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you have a black eye, but I'm, I'm complex.

• 6:58Sam Morril?

  No, it was a, it was a bad experience. And, and the thing too was like, I did America's Got Talent too, which was like. It's one thing around comic energy, you're around everyone's anxious energy.

• 7:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 7:08Sam Morril?

  And you realize what a ruse it is, what we do. When you're next to like dancers, they have to stretch, they have to stay warm. I can go up drunk, you know? But I'm like, you know, I'm texting my mom, like, oh, I'm freaking out. She goes, read a book. I'm like, there's two fat people from Atlantic City dancing mambo number five next to me. There's a bird squawking. Like, I can't just get lost in literature right now. This is, this is stressful.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  When I was doing AGT, I was about to go up.

• 7:30Sam Morril?

  You did AGT as well?

• 7:31Speaker 03

  I did, I did a COVID year, right?

• 7:33Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Day before COVID started, right? So I'm in the stage, I don't know if it happened to you, we're like Terry Crews is there. I'm waiting, leukemia guitarist is on stage or something, right? I'm freaking out trying to get my set right. Terry Crews has to do like B-roll now. So I'm trying to get my set ready. He comes up, he's like, what's your favorite day of the week? And I'm, I'm like the most fearful I've ever been in my life.

• 7:52Sam Morril?

  That guy asked hard questions. I like that.

• 7:54Mark Normand?

  And you're like, he's like, if you're nervous, just watch porn. That's what I do.

• 7:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:58Mark Normand?

  He's addicted to porn.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  It was, it was truly insane.

• 8:02Mark Normand?

  Uh oh.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 8:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, we found it?

• 8:04Speaker 03

  Oh my god. We can't watch stand up on the show?

• 8:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, you better believe it, Fatty.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Is this the one where you called Heidi Klum a slut?

• 8:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is, uh, this is the day before covid.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Look at you, you're so young.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  I'm so young.

• 8:16Mark Normand?

  Oh my god.

• 8:17Speaker 03

  Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, oh my god.

• 8:19Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  No shoulders.

• 8:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, you look like a guy being forced into England.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  Oh, we graduated.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  Buddy, I was, this is, this is right before covid. I looked like a straight up.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 8:33Mark Normand?

  Mama.

• 8:34Sam Morril?

  Oh, that's cute.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  This is not cute. You guys just show stuff like this?

• 8:38Mark Normand?

  This is crazy. This is the footage of the knife attack in London. Holy shit.

• 8:42Speaker 03

  My mom, I love her. Love you, mom.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, mother's adorable. We love mom.

• 8:46Mark Normand?

  Do you have a traditional sword?

• 8:49Speaker 03

  My mom, I love my mom, guys.

• 8:51Mark Normand?

  Look at that cute.

• 8:52Speaker 03

  I love my fucking mom.

• 8:53Sam Morril?

  Wait, how far did you make it on, uh?

• 8:54Speaker 03

  I was, I was quarterfinals. I was, uh.

• 8:56Mark Normand?

  This is crazy. Slumdog Townsend here.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  What?

• 8:58Mark Normand?

  All right, let's look.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  If this is Oasis face, what are you going through here? I took her glasses.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 9:03Speaker 03

  Okay. But I love Oasis, no hate, no shade on Oasis.

• 9:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, don't bring that on yourself.

• 9:09Sam Morril?

  People love competitions. It would be awesome if it was just like showcase, but it's like, nope, they want, they wanna root for someone.

• 9:15Speaker 03

  Bro, they wouldn't watch the show if it was like funny people on a show.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  I will say, this was the, I thought it was pretty close to a showcase because no one ever got like reamed, you know?

• 9:24Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 9:25Speaker 02

  The judges were never like, you're an idiot.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  Chicago got a little reamed.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Well, Chicago, well, yeah, yeah.

• 9:31Mark Normand?

  How so?

• 9:31Sam Morril?

  You did shows in Chicago and LA, right?

• 9:33Speaker 03

  No, no, no. So we did the New York one. There's three cities, New York, LA, Chicago. With the Chicago one, the Kevin, they edited it where everyone's bombing.

• 9:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:41Speaker 03

  And Kevin's so annoyed at the bombing that he changes up the rules of the show mid-episode.

• 9:46Mark Normand?

  What?

• 9:46Speaker 03

  Y'all should watch this one. It's kind of interesting.

• 9:47Speaker 02

  I'll be honest, I didn't watch any of the episodes.

• 9:49Mark Normand?

  I, yeah, I get that.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  I can't watch myself.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  I watched everything.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  You watched everything?

• 9:53Speaker 03

  I did. I wanna see how I come off.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  How'd I do?

• 9:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I guess. Uh, people love you, man.

• 9:59Mark Normand?

  What about Mike Turner? I heard he got shafted pretty hard.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's the one. He got, he's the only one that kinda got a bad edit.

• 10:06Mark Normand?

  Then he did it like a face to camera after to explain himself.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  So you know, he just, he was, you gotta choose one bomb for the show. You can't everyone kill it.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  You have to show that it's a thing that can happen, yeah.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  As the guy who, you know, ate a fucking dick.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  But he handled it well.

• 10:19Speaker 03

  I don't know. What do you mean when?

• 10:20Mark Normand?

  He wasn't happy about it. He was pissed.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  Okay, so he goes up, right? It's a black crowd in Chicago.

• 10:25Mark Normand?

  Alright, he's kinda wiggery.

• 10:27Speaker 03

  He's fine. He's great.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  I don't know if that's great.

• 10:31Mark Normand?

  You could say bigger. One letter off.

• 10:36Mark Normand?

  You know what I mean? He's got some flavor.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  He's, he's flavored. He's, uh, but what happened? It just wasn't connecting?

• 10:41Sam Morril?

  Showcase sets are very hard.

• 10:43Speaker 03

  Dude, he had a black woman crowd in Chicago, right? Which are fun, which we love. But you don't wanna go against the grain here. So he goes up, his first thing he says was, "Man, don't we all miss Bush?" Which is like, if you're a middle-aged black lady, that's the last, that's your ultimate hater.

• 11:00Sam Morril?

  The president or the vagina? What are we talking about? I don't even know.

• 11:03Speaker 03

  Honestly, with them both, they hate, I feel like.

• 11:06Mark Normand?

  Both of them stink.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  Either way, they hate it. But it was just, he goes in, he's talking about Bush, President Bush, how, uh, it's so good for white, it's still good for white guys, isn't it? It's so good for white guys. And like, older black ladies hates all this.

• 11:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  So he just starts bombing.

• 11:20Sam Morril?

  My note would be, don't open with something that divisive.

• 11:24Speaker 03

  Boom.

• 11:24Mark Normand?

  And some of that old, Bush is what, 30 years ago? What are we doing here?

• 11:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, keep it current.

• 11:28Speaker 03

  Keep it current.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  Especially there's a much more controversial figure in office right now.

• 11:32Mark Normand?

  Right, right, exactly.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Probably not great for black ladies either.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  But then they like, they, this bomb, they like throw it from like nine different angles. They get like a, like a golly shot.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  There was a drone.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  Drone footage of him bombing. With the timer going up on the bottom line. So he bombed pretty hard and it was, it's pretty embarrassing.

• 11:49Mark Normand?

  And they said they edited it to make it look worse and worse and worse, so.

• 11:52Sam Morril?

  But you know what the hardest thing about moving on is not, I don't think even the closer, in, in my experience, I think the opening joke, it's like, you have to write an opener for every set.

• 12:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:00Sam Morril?

  How many sets did you guys do?

• 12:02Speaker 02

  We ended up doing six.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  Eight.

• 12:04Speaker 02

  Eight?

• 12:04Speaker 03

  Oh, what do you mean, sets?

• 12:06Mark Normand?

  For the show.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  Oh, sorry, sorry. Yeah, six, six.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  Six. Yeah, we did six.

• 12:08Mark Normand?

  That's a lot.

• 12:09Sam Morril?

  And how long is each set?

• 12:10Speaker 02

  Five minutes and then the last one was seven.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  Seven. It is six late nights.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  Well, one was a roast and the other one was crowd work. But it was still, you had to open with a joke.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:18Sam Morril?

  Got it. Who were you roasting?

• 12:20Speaker 02

  Marshawn Lynch.

• 12:21Sam Morril?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  It was crazy.

• 12:22Mark Normand?

  Why him?

• 12:23Speaker 03

  We all had some good ones. I think it was tough, though. That was like eight months of like pain and fear. Cause we were just terrified of like, you know, you're going up to Netflix, millions of people. I'm first on the show. Terrified. They don't, they don't tell Marshawn that we're roasting him.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  No.

• 12:37Mark Normand?

  What?

• 12:37Speaker 02

  He didn't know. What?

• 12:39Speaker 03

  He starts talking back to me while I'm roasting. I'm like, buddy, buddy. He's like Oakland's coming out.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  He's in Oakland's coming out.

• 12:45Sam Morril?

  Why would they not tell him?

• 12:46Speaker 03

  Buddy, I think they did tell him, but you know, he don't be listening to shit.

• 12:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  He's on media or not there up, right?

• 12:50Speaker 02

  He had his, he had his, his, uh, drink Hennessy and then he was sitting there and he had a microphone here.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  His drink slash Hennessy.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  He had his drink, his Hennessy.

• 12:58Speaker 03

  I mean, it was Hennessy.

• 12:59Speaker 02

  And then he, for me and you.

• 13:01Sam Morril?

  It's a great guy to roast. A guy who took a lot of shots to the head with a drinking problem.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, right.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  The DUI still pending.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  He would get genuinely upset. Like some of the things we would say, he would be like, I'm gonna kick your ass.

• 13:10Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 13:11Speaker 03

  Well, you know, he might have been in Oakland back and forth, but.

• 13:13Mark Normand?

  Jeez.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  He was not joking.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  The first couple of roasts, it was like, hey, yo, bruh, he did the side mic where you're kind of like.

• 13:19Sam Morril?

  Who roasted the whole dais or just him?

• 13:22Speaker 03

  I, everybody.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  Everybody.

• 13:23Mark Normand?

  Who else was out there?

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Well, we got to do.

• 13:25Mark Normand?

  All the comics.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  He's so cute.

• 13:27Speaker 03

  Are we on Google Images?

• 13:28Sam Morril?

  Oh, my God.

• 13:29Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 13:29Mark Normand?

  Uh, is that Reg?

• 13:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:31Mark Normand?

  Uh, he's funny.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  It was, um, sis, this is literally my Instagram. That's so funny.

• 13:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, Winston.

• 13:36Speaker 03

  This is the day before. How terrifying. I'm like back there.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, our faces are like, oh, my God.

• 13:41Mark Normand?

  Is that Fury?

• 13:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:42Mark Normand?

  Oh, nice.

• 13:43Speaker 03

  So this is the top 10, I think, right?

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:45Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 13:46Sam Morril?

  So the judges were Segura, Chelsea.

• 13:49Mark Normand?

  Kumeil.

• 13:49Sam Morril?

  Kumeil, Nikki.

• 13:51Mark Normand?

  That's a good group of actual comics. It's not like, uh, when I do contests.

• 13:55Sam Morril?

  Chris Rock was there. How was Rock?

• 13:57Speaker 03

  You know.

• 13:58Mark Normand?

  No. I heard he was tough. I heard he was a little scary.

• 14:01Speaker 03

  Well, he's a legend. He's a legend and uh...

• 14:04Mark Normand?

  He keeps it real.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  He uh...

• 14:06Speaker 03

  Well, he was one of the last ones? He was the one for the um, what the fuck was it? The semifinal. He was...

• 14:12Sam Morril?

  Were you annoyed that you're like, "I don't have my best material at this point. I'm feeling a bit handicapped and I gotta go in front of fucking Chris Rock?"

• 14:17Mark Normand?

  The best comic.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  You could've given the best joke of your life to him.

• 14:20Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 14:21Speaker 02

  They had to stop cutting to his face.

• 14:23Speaker 03

  But he's not like a laugher. He's not like a...

• 14:24Mark Normand?

  No, no.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Guy.

• 14:26Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  If he's a good joke, he'd be like, "That's a great joke." But he won't, he's not like a giver.

• 14:29Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  As opposed to Nicky.

• 14:30Mark Normand?

  He's computing the premise.

• 14:31Speaker 03

  He's a very, he's a very smart guy.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  This was his face. It was literally like...

• 14:37Speaker 03

  Every time. If you went knock-knock, he'd be like, "I don't even know what to say to him."

• 14:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  I wouldn't even know the next... So he was tough, but you know, I guess it's part of it.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  That's the most, people come up to me afterwards and they're like, "How was Chris Rock?"

• 14:50Speaker 03

  He's an obvious legend. He's an amazing comedian, but he's not someone I would be like, "Hey, tutor me."

• 14:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 14:55Speaker 03

  I wanna, you know, so he was kinda tough and he can't be not, he can't be fake. He's like...

• 14:59Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 14:59Speaker 03

  He's basically unable to like, change his face in a way that he's not trying to, right?

• 15:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, it's totally...

• 15:04Mark Normand?

  Even there's a, there's a video of him coming in when you guys are all in the green room. He's like, "All right, guys. It's gonna be great. You gotta give it extra." And even that looked weird. I was like, "What are you doing?"

• 15:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  It was.

• 15:14Mark Normand?

  It's a weird clip. It went viral, but it looked very strange.

• 15:17Sam Morril?

  But it is weird that the bigger the stage, it's like, you're like, I have let... Did you open on your favorite jokes?

• 15:22Speaker 03

  Uh, on the first set? I did, some of my favorites.

• 15:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  But by the semifinal, I was doing some of the older bits. And then the last set I just did, the set I was doing in the clubs.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  Same.

• 15:32Mark Normand?

  Perfect.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I saved my most recent stuff for the end. Cause I was like, if I make it to the end, then you know, I'll burn that stuff.

• 15:39Speaker 03

  It's so weird. I was working on it. I wasn't done with those bits.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  Same.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  And now I'm gone. I don't use them anymore. So it feels like a weird, like I strangled my baby in the fucking...

• 15:48Mark Normand?

  I think Marsha Lynch did it.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  That's my, that's what I did. And it feels wrong.

• 15:55Mark Normand?

  We had a roast Aaron Hernandez on last comic. It was, uh, it was really tough.

• 15:58Speaker 03

  He didn't take it well. Yeah, he didn't take it well.

• 16:00Mark Normand?

  It was tough. He killed my wife, you know, the whole thing.

• 16:04Speaker 03

  Not a good combo on the roasting the year thing.

• 16:07Sam Morril?

  But it was weird. It was weird because none of those people were in the, like, I don't like a roast when the people aren't in the room. So we kind of made it a point to be like, we're just gonna roast like Diddy and Luigi, cause they're in prison.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 16:17Sam Morril?

  So it makes sense they're not there. But you feel weird being like, hey, Machine Gun Kelly's in the news.

• 16:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 16:22Sam Morril?

  But he's not here.

• 16:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we got Stephen Hawking pretty good, cause he was dead and a pedophile.

• 16:26Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 16:26Mark Normand?

  It's a double whammy.

• 16:28Sam Morril?

  Well, we don't know for sure.

• 16:30Mark Normand?

  That's true. That's true.

• 16:31Sam Morril?

  He never came out as a pedophile, though. Does anyone?

• 16:34Mark Normand?

  Ah, good point.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  You get found out.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  I mean, he was on the, he was on the island. Platinum membership, I think. He was, he was.

• 16:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:41Speaker 03

  He was going there.

• 16:42Sam Morril?

  He had club access?

• 16:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:43Mark Normand?

  He's a gold member.

• 16:44Speaker 03

  They gave him the towel before he walked in.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  He was taken to the island. He didn't know. He was taken.

• 16:48Speaker 03

  Get a hot towel?

• 16:49Mark Normand?

  Holy shit, what the hell's going on?

• 16:52Sam Morril?

  Everybody.

• 16:53Mark Normand?

  What is it? St. Patty's Day parade? Look at these pics.

• 16:57Mark Normand?

  Hey, pull up a seat if you can.

• 16:58Sam Morril?

  I stand literally right here.

• 17:00Mark Normand?

  Thanks for bringing food.

• 17:01Sam Morril?

  Where are the cameras?

• 17:03Mark Normand?

  Where are the cameras?

• 17:04Sam Morril?

  There's no camera here.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 17:07Sam Morril?

  But it's not pointing at us.

• 17:08Mark Normand?

  You gotta turn around. Turn around.

• 17:10Sam Morril?

  Oh, this way?

• 17:11Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 17:14Sam Morril?

  Anyone want a slice? It's a giant slice.

• 17:16Mark Normand?

  I'd say no.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  Thank you. You brought cookies.

• 17:19Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 17:20Speaker 03

  What's up, Greg? You're Samma.

• 17:21Speaker 04

  Hey, how are you, man?

• 17:22Speaker 03

  How are you, buddy?

• 17:22Sam Morril?

  You know what I realize? Accidentally.

• 17:25Speaker 04

  What race are you?

• 17:25Speaker 03

  I'm, uh, I'm black.

• 17:27Speaker 04

  Are you?

• 17:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm black Asian.

• 17:30Speaker 04

  You could be anything. That's, that's, you could go in any neighborhood.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  Grew up in, uh, my parents are from Mangalish.

• 17:36Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 17:37Sam Morril?

  This is really inappropriate.

• 17:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was like, are you gonna ask me?

• 17:40Speaker 03

  She's like, I'm black too.

• 17:42Sam Morril?

  I feel like I'm blocking your cameras.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  It was with love, I thought.

• 17:45Mark Normand?

  We got enough.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  Those never, it wasn't too negative.

• 17:47Mark Normand?

  You guys done already?

• 17:49Sam Morril?

  We started. We did an hour and a half.

• 17:50Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 17:53Mark Normand?

  Well, what's up? Big guy come behind you.

• 17:56Speaker 05

  You know what I discovered, Mark, that could be useful to you by accident? Carrying a pizza, great way to get out of a hug.

• 18:03Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 18:04Speaker 05

  He tried to hug me like a homo and I had a pizza, so I was like, sorry.

• 18:08Mark Normand?

  That's good.

• 18:09Sam Morril?

  You could have just put it down for a second.

• 18:11Speaker 05

  Nah.

• 18:11Mark Normand?

  Nah, I'll bring a pizza to my, my parents' house.

• 18:14Speaker 05

  That's what I said, I'm like, I'm just bringing up two pizzas.

• 18:16Mark Normand?

  Never have to hug my dad.

• 18:17Speaker 05

  Oh shit, I can't.

• 18:19Mark Normand?

  My dad hugs like this.

• 18:21Sam Morril?

  Oh yeah, same.

• 18:21Mark Normand?

  He does that one.

• 18:22Sam Morril?

  Same, same.

• 18:23Speaker 04

  Is that why punk rockers wear like spikes all over their jackets?

• 18:26Mark Normand?

  I don't think that's why.

• 18:27Sam Morril?

  That's hilarious.

• 18:28Mark Normand?

  But yeah, I think that's for the mosh pits, they get in there.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:31Mark Normand?

  They can do some damage.

• 18:33Speaker 04

  I feel like I saw these punk rocker girls on the subway yesterday and they had dyed hair, the, the spikes, the combat boots, it was like, you're a rebel, right? So why are you wearing a fucking uniform?

• 18:47Mark Normand?

  I know, it's a lot of work.

• 18:49Speaker 04

  But I mean, it's been 50 years of the same uniform.

• 18:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, good point.

• 18:53Speaker 03

  Y'all, when I see like tattoo sleeves and the, and the sleeves are like this, I'm like, you're just, you're trying to show the sleeve, you're trying to show the tattoo, which kind of ruins the coolness factor of it, no?

• 19:02Mark Normand?

  You're saying they cut off the sleeves so you can see the tattoo?

• 19:04Speaker 03

  No, no, no, they have the whole sleeve of tattoos. Then their shirts like this, I'm like, not cool anymore, cause you're trying to show the tattoo, now you're lame.

• 19:10Sam Morril?

  It's like an addiction too, you see some people get like, they do one arm, then they just do the other arm, then the leg, and you're just like, this is like an expensive thing.

• 19:17Mark Normand?

  Very expensive.

• 19:18Sam Morril?

  That was the most Jewish reaction too. Like, I mean, the money you waste, Jesus Christ.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  And then I went hepatitis and I was like, we're both our, our race right now.

• 19:27Mark Normand?

  But yeah, these guys were just on a big Netflix show, uh, did you see Funny AF?

• 19:33Speaker 05

  You know about Netflix, Greg?

• 19:34Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 19:35Speaker 05

  New network.

• 19:36Sam Morril?

  It's a streaming service. Have you heard of this? It's like the new Last Comic Standing, but it's, I think it's bigger.

• 19:41Speaker 04

  It was just Kevin Hart thing?

• 19:42Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 19:43Speaker 04

  Oh, congratulations, that was big.

• 19:45Sam Morril?

  That was good, it was cool.

• 19:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who, who won?

• 19:48Sam Morril?

  Ron Taylor.

• 19:49Mark Normand?

  Pull him up.

• 19:50Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, I like Ron, he's a Comedy Store guy.

• 19:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah, fun guy.

• 19:53Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah?

• 19:54Speaker 02

  Very funny.

• 19:55Speaker 05

  A lot of like him, as much as I like you guys.

• 19:56Sam Morril?

  Thanks.

• 19:57Speaker 04

  Hey.

• 19:58Speaker 03

  He was funny, cause he was like annoyed the entire time, he was, I don't know why I'm here, man. And he kept getting through.

• 20:04Mark Normand?

  He's a throwback, he's like one of Red Fox's friends.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  He lives in his van.

• 20:07Speaker 03

  No, I think that's done, but that was, that was.

• 20:09Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Although he did say, he said, if I win, I'm going to buy a new van.

• 20:14Sam Morril?

  And go back to the van.

• 20:14Speaker 02

  And I was like, don't do that.

• 20:16Sam Morril?

  He's the most like annoyed man.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's pissed that he won.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  He's pissed when he wins.

• 20:20Mark Normand?

  Look at that turtle, it looks like he's singing soul.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  Netflix, buddy. A Netflix special.

• 20:24Speaker 05

  Do they give you money on top or just the specials?

• 20:26Speaker 03

  No, I mean, there was a SAG day.

• 20:28Mark Normand?

  That's a great prize.

• 20:29Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 20:30Mark Normand?

  Netflix special?

• 20:31Speaker 05

  But it's a hard prize because you're like, I just did all my material on Netflix.

• 20:34Mark Normand?

  I know, I know.

• 20:34Speaker 05

  You gotta give me some time.

• 20:35Mark Normand?

  Push it back five years.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  They, uh, they gave, I think they were trying to get them the next month, like, hey, man, do the special.

• 20:40Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 20:41Speaker 03

  And they, and they pushed it back, but Jesus Christ, right?

• 20:44Speaker 02

  I know. And I had a, I had taped a special beforehand, so I was just sitting on a special and then I just did all of the material from that special. And so I was like, I'm just gonna throw this on YouTube.

• 20:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  Here you go. Prosciutto Rose, please watch it.

• 20:55Mark Normand?

  Check it out.

• 20:56Speaker 05

  Prosciutto Rose.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:58Speaker 06

  So Kaitlyn finished second, is that correct?

• 21:00Speaker 02

  No, third.

• 21:02Speaker 06

  Third?

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Third. Osama finished second.

• 21:04Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 21:05Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:05Speaker 05

  Second is the best, third is the nerd.

• 21:07Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 21:08Speaker 03

  The hairy chest.

• 21:09Speaker 05

  First is the worst.

• 21:09Speaker 03

  First is the best.

• 21:11Speaker 05

  Second is the best, third is the nerd.

• 21:13Speaker 02

  The nerd?

• 21:13Speaker 05

  Fourth is the one with a hairy chest.

• 21:15Mark Normand?

  Around the corners.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  What if you have both?

• 21:17Speaker 03

  Oh, wait, that's.

• 21:19Speaker 06

  Osama, did you save any bullets for like the last, for the finale?

• 21:23Speaker 03

  Uh, I, I had one that I was like, that Tom liked. He was like, I wish I wrote that joke.

• 21:27Mark Normand?

  Tom Segura.

• 21:27Speaker 03

  Which was a big, that was like, they got that on screen. I was like, that's gonna really help.

• 21:30Mark Normand?

  That's a good clip.

• 21:32Speaker 03

  It was good. So there, I, I saved some, some heat, but Ron had this five minute dick bit that I think was like, the world loved.

• 21:39Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 21:40Speaker 03

  When you're on TV, it's, you're doing it for the world, you know, it's not just the crowd.

• 21:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  So going as broad as possible is probably in your best interest.

• 21:46Mark Normand?

  A hundred percent.

• 21:47Speaker 03

  I was doing like Europe versus America type stuff for like, uh, just random, I, I had like eight different topics for like one set, which I kinda wanted to do my, my way.

• 21:56Speaker 05

  And how did they vote? Who decided?

• 21:58Speaker 03

  It was that moment.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  Them.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  The judges voted. No, no, no, it was the, the world.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  It was the world. They literally put on their Roku remotes.

• 22:04Mark Normand?

  The world.

• 22:04Speaker 03

  And it was just like, yeah.

• 22:05Speaker 02

  For the semifinals and the finals, they could go on their Roku and, not Roku, but like their, they could pick.

• 22:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:11Mark Normand?

  Really? You can do that?

• 22:12Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 22:12Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 22:13Speaker 04

  And there was a roast, right?

• 22:15Speaker 02

  There was a roast. We roasted Marshawn Lynch and Kevin and Nikki Glaser.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  So that kinda stepped on, cause then they roasted Kevin Hart literally two weeks later on the same network.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  I think that's why they brought in Marshawn, because they were like, oh, we can't do two roasts of Kevin Hart.

• 22:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  And so they brought in Marshawn like two weeks before we were supposed to film. I don't know if I'm supposed to be saying this, but.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. Yeah, I'm sort of like.

• 22:36Mark Normand?

  You put it together.

• 22:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. And so then we had to rewrite all of our jokes for Marshawn.

• 22:40Sam Morril?

  Were you guys zinging each other in the rounds? Like, would you go on after someone and zing him? Or is that kind of?

• 22:44Speaker 03

  What? I had some Caitlin jokes.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I had some Osama jokes.

• 22:47Speaker 03

  We've been talking about, what's the best joke about me?

• 22:49Speaker 02

  We know each other for so long.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  Olivia was like, Osama looks like he eats pussy with his hands.

• 22:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:55Speaker 03

  Pretty good. Brown.

• 22:57Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 22:57Speaker 03

  Brown. Osama's an Indian fuckboy, so he can charm a snake and then ghost it.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  Ooh, fun, fun, fun.

• 23:04Mark Normand?

  I love it.

• 23:04Speaker 03

  Best joke of the night was Ron's. He was like, Kevin, you look like a slave you get for free when you buy Marshawn Lynch.

• 23:09Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 23:10Speaker 03

  Bam. Cause he didn't have a great sense. That joke actually saved him in the, in the whole round.

• 23:14Mark Normand?

  That's good.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  That joke was so good, it saved his ass for the whole.

• 23:17Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 23:18Speaker 04

  Did anyone tank? Because that's not a sport for every comic.

• 23:22Speaker 02

  No, I think everybody had a good set. Some people just didn't roast Marshawn, and I think that's what got them.

• 23:27Mark Normand?

  What? How do you not roast him?

• 23:29Speaker 03

  Dude, Ray didn't, uh, I'm saying actual names.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:32Speaker 03

  Ray Lau.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  You can see it. Yeah, they said it. Yeah.

• 23:34Speaker 03

  Ray didn't roast Marshawn. He got the email. He didn't check it.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:38Speaker 03

  Brother, biggest day of your life.

• 23:39Sam Morril?

  He just, he just went with the, you know, you know who I miss? Bush.

• 23:44Sam Morril?

  Michael Turner Ghost wrote, uh, some of his jokes.

• 23:47Mark Normand?

  Wait, Ray Lau's a tough name for an Asian. That is a curse to give an Asian that good name.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  Which one's the L?

• 23:52Mark Normand?

  Which one's the L? Which one's the R? That's a, that's a meme.

• 23:56Sam Morril?

  I think he figured it out probably at some point, but yeah.

• 23:58Mark Normand?

  I feel for you, Ray Ray. Or Lei Rao. Either way.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  And if he likes Frito Lays, that's even, so now it's Ray Lau likes Frito Lays. I mean, what do you even say anymore?

• 24:08Sam Morril?

  That is, that's crazy to, I mean.

• 24:10Mark Normand?

  The name?

• 24:11Sam Morril?

  Seven rounds. It's crazy. I mean.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  Dude, it was, it was the most harrowing experience of my life. And dude, the roast, you, you're, your call time is 9 a.m. You're not coming in at four.

• 24:19Mark Normand?

  They always do that.

• 24:20Speaker 03

  Put you in the fucking pen. You're just like stewing.

• 24:22Mark Normand?

  What is that?

• 24:23Speaker 03

  I don't know. The, and the roast is the craziest one, cause we don't have anything, uh, tested.

• 24:27Speaker 02

  No.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  So it was just gonna be on Netflix film.

• 24:28Sam Morril?

  You didn't run it by any crowds at all?

• 24:30Speaker 03

  Dude, Steve Fury blew up pictures of the, I was like, what? We could do that?

• 24:34Speaker 02

  I ran it. I went to.

• 24:36Speaker 03

  She ran it. I didn't run it. I didn't run it once.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  Comedy Cellar, the new joke nights. I would have pictures of people on my phone. And they're like, look at this.

• 24:41Mark Normand?

  Good move.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  And then I would run the jokes.

• 24:43Speaker 04

  Help you, because most roasts, you got like eight people writing for you.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  That's true. I met with friends.

• 24:47Speaker 04

  You did?

• 24:47Speaker 02

  I met with friends. I went with Ronon Hirschberg. I met with.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  He's an angry little fucker.

• 24:51Mark Normand?

  He's the king. He can write.

• 24:53Speaker 05

  The best roast joke writer, most underrated, too.

• 24:55Mark Normand?

  Tell him the Big Jay joke.

• 24:57Speaker 05

  The Big Jay joke was, uh, Big Jay doesn't seem Jewish, except that he chains his wallet to himself. And I was like, that's the joke I get complimented the most, and I feel like that was one of them. Yeah.

• 25:08Sam Morril?

  You know who's got one of the craziest roast jokes ever? You know Dina Hashem's joke?

• 25:12Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 25:12Sam Morril?

  She was roast battling a guy whose mother died in a motorcycle crash. And, and she goes, his, his mom died the way he lives, an unrecognizable road feature.

• 25:22Speaker 02

  Woo!

• 25:23Speaker 03

  That joke will, a hundred years, it'll be talked about.

• 25:27Speaker 05

  It's like one of the best jokes ever.

• 25:28Sam Morril?

  That's so good.

• 25:29Speaker 03

  That's one where you're like, oh my god, ugh!

• 25:31Sam Morril?

  But the craftsmanship, like, you go back and forth, you're like, it's so fucking vicious.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  That joke is so good, even if you don't know the word feature, you kind of know what it means.

• 25:39Mark Normand?

  Yes, you put it together.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  You put it together. It's like, you learn something in the joke.

• 25:43Sam Morril?

  I told it to a tell once, he goes, Jesus, keep it surface.

• 25:48Speaker 05

  I think one of the most underrated roast jokes ever is, um, I think it was Florentine, he goes, Bonnie McFarlane, living the American dream, she moved to America and got stupid rich.

• 25:57Sam Morril?

  That's great, that's great.

• 26:00Speaker 03

  That's the Rich Fox roast, right?

• 26:01Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, that's a good joke.

• 26:02Speaker 05

  She also, yeah, Bobby, at that point, that was when Bobby was his heaviest, he was like 380 pounds. She goes, hey Bobby, it's one more than you, so if you want to start making your way up there.

• 26:11Mark Normand?

  That roast is underrated, it's like wall-to-wall bangers.

• 26:14Speaker 05

  Oh, it's incredible.

• 26:15Mark Normand?

  I think my favorite roast joke is, uh, Ice T, you're so old, the first thing you bought with your money was your freedom.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  Boom.

• 26:20Sam Morril?

  Is that Geraldo?

• 26:21Mark Normand?

  That's Geraldo, yeah.

• 26:22Speaker 05

  Which means it might have been Jesse Joyce.

• 26:24Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  Wait, Jesse Joyce was writing a lot of jokes?

• 26:26Sam Morril?

  Jesse Joyce and Geraldo together.

• 26:28Mark Normand?

  He wrote the pizza joke. Ralphie May, you're so fat, when you're watching porn, you come when they deliver the pizza.

• 26:33Sam Morril?

  That's a perfect joke.

• 26:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:35Speaker 05

  And there's a clip of Ralphie standing and applauding, which you know that took a lot from him.

• 26:39Speaker 04

  Oh my god. Well, he got annihilated in a roast battle with, you ever seen it?

• 26:43Sam Morril?

  Lawrence.

• 26:44Speaker 04

  Steve Lawrence?

• 26:45Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 26:45Mark Normand?

  Oh my god.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Did you know that was gonna happen?

• 26:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, he knew.

• 26:50Speaker 03

  He didn't prepare any jokes?

• 26:51Mark Normand?

  He just like, oh, this guy's nobody, I got him.

• 26:53Sam Morril?

  Mike is an unbelievable writer, I should say.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  But it's like you got to pair with the best, also top five roast writer of all time, and you came with nothing. You came with schoolyard stuff.

• 27:02Mark Normand?

  He bought a Febreze bottle, that was his big move, and that just looked worse.

• 27:06Speaker 05

  How about Topol, Robin Quivers, yeah, you would too if your father finger fucked you when you were six.

• 27:14Sam Morril?

  Those old Howard Stern roasts are fucking, you were on some of those.

• 27:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, I roasted Baba Booey one time and I go, I said Gary's teeth look like a row of urinals at Shea Stadium.

• 27:28Mark Normand?

  What was that, was it DiPaolo who said, um, oh, he goes, Lisa Lampanelli's fucked so many black guys, she calls him on her sickle cell? Was that DiPaolo?

• 27:37Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 27:37Mark Normand?

  Sickle cell.

• 27:38Speaker 05

  That's pretty good though.

• 27:39Mark Normand?

  I think that was Nick.

• 27:40Sam Morril?

  But they're cool, they're really dumb, that's why they're so funny.

• 27:42Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 27:43Sam Morril?

  It's great.

• 27:43Mark Normand?

  Schoolyard shit.

• 27:44Sam Morril?

  It is.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  Have you guys done roasts?

• 27:46Mark Normand?

  Many times.

• 27:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 27:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:48Speaker 04

  Who'd you roast?

• 27:49Mark Normand?

  We more roasted each other, we roasted Nate Bargatze, we roasted, who, Yanis?

• 27:54Sam Morril?

  Remember Eric I?

• 27:54Speaker 05

  The Yanis roast, yeah.

• 27:55Sam Morril?

  Eric I, geez, I forgot.

• 27:57Mark Normand?

  Nobody knows that.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  What was a good Nate roast that y'all had?

• 28:00Speaker 05

  That was, it's so crazy.

• 28:01Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 28:02Speaker 05

  We just didn't film it, there's like, it feels like we're from like the 50s.

• 28:06Mark Normand?

  What a time.

• 28:07Speaker 05

  We did a roast of Nate Bargatze, whatever it was, 50 years ago.

• 28:10Mark Normand?

  Michael Che, all these stars.

• 28:12Speaker 05

  Nobody thought to be like, should we roll camera on this? It was just a literal private roast.

• 28:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, for fun, it was Michael Che, Sal Volcano, Big, it was all these killers, Soder, and yeah, no film.

• 28:23Speaker 05

  We did a Nate one and a Yanis one.

• 28:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 28:26Speaker 04

  I roasted Chevy Chase on Comedy Central.

• 28:28Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 28:28Mark Normand?

  That was a, that was a good one.

• 28:30Speaker 03

  You got, the one that got cancelled?

• 28:32Speaker 04

  Fame, I did, I went on three, I went in three hours in.

• 28:37Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 28:38Speaker 04

  And it was back when it was still the Friars Club roast, so like the audience was like all these old Jews from the Friars Club. And they started at like noon and I got on at like 3 o'clock and Chevy wouldn't say hi to anybody, like backstage he, he had sunglasses on and it was like he hated being there, so he sat there with the sunglasses on.

• 28:57Sam Morril?

  Did he just do it for money? I mean, why'd he do it?

• 28:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, for his wife's charity, he said he did, I guess they donate like a million dollars to them. And so, uh, I went on and I mean, I got cut, Kevin Meany got cut, uh, Marin, like, yeah, like all these people that went on towards the end and it was, it was famously the worst roast of all time.

• 29:17Sam Morril?

  He cried, didn't he cry?

• 29:19Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 29:20Speaker 05

  Let's say it, why not?

• 29:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:22Speaker 05

  Sound like a bitch.

• 29:23Sam Morril?

  I remember, remember Maren had that joke from that roast where he said, he kept, Chevy Chase kept saying, "Who are these nobodies?" And he goes, "We're nobodies at the beginning of our career."

• 29:31Mark Normand?

  Ooh, that cuts deep.

• 29:34Speaker 05

  That's great.

• 29:35Sam Morril?

  Was that, was Colbert on that one too?

• 29:36Speaker 04

  Colbert was on it.

• 29:37Sam Morril?

  He had a pretty great set.

• 29:38Speaker 04

  He did, and so did, um, Al, uh...

• 29:44Mark Normand?

  Lubel?

• 29:45Speaker 04

  No, who is the guy? Al Franken.

• 29:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 29:48Speaker 04

  Al Franken was great.

• 29:49Mark Normand?

  I've never heard that since.

• 29:51Speaker 04

  Al Franken was great.

• 29:53Mark Normand?

  Really? He always sticks it up.

• 29:55Sam Morril?

  Never heard that since.

• 29:56Mark Normand?

  Yikes.

• 29:57Sam Morril?

  Geraldo was on that too, though, right?

• 29:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:59Sam Morril?

  Wasn't Todd? Todd Barry?

• 30:00Speaker 04

  Todd Barry.

• 30:01Mark Normand?

  Todd was on there, young Todd.

• 30:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, Jeff Ross, Lisa Lampanelli.

• 30:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Ross had hair.

• 30:05Speaker 05

  This was before diversity was a thing.

• 30:07Sam Morril?

  Back in the day. Oh my god.

• 30:09Speaker 04

  And then some of the old timers like, uh, um, Freddie, Freddie, uh...

• 30:14Mark Normand?

  Roman.

• 30:15Speaker 04

  Roman.

• 30:16Mark Normand?

  Alan King.

• 30:16Speaker 04

  Dick Capri. Alan King might have hosted.

• 30:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I think he did.

• 30:20Speaker 04

  No, no, no. Um, uh, Paul, Paul Shaffer.

• 30:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's right, Shaffer.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  And I said, "Dr. Phil with AIDS, everybody." And people were bummed out.

• 30:29Mark Normand?

  What?

• 30:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:32Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 30:32Sam Morril?

  With AIDS is the classic add-on to the...

• 30:35Mark Normand?

  Was that the famous one where Geraldo had the, the, the drug-infused meltdown?

• 30:40Sam Morril?

  No, that was Larry the Cable Guy.

• 30:41Mark Normand?

  Okay, then Artie Lange. Artie Lange had to help him get two, which is crazy. Artie Lange is the guy like, "You gotta get your shit together."

• 30:49Sam Morril?

  Well, yeah, the whole story is Artie helped Greg get on a flight. He was like freaking out. He took care of him this whole time and, and he like held his hand through security because he was bugging out. And then Greg shows up for the roast and his first line is he goes, "Artie Lange, you fat fucking drug addict." He just turns to like...

• 31:09Mark Normand?

  That's show business.

• 31:11Speaker 05

  Paul had a great Larry the Cable Guy. He goes, "His real name's Dan Whitney, but he had to change it because it had the word wit in it."

• 31:18Sam Morril?

  It's too good.

• 31:18Mark Normand?

  Clever.

• 31:19Sam Morril?

  It's too good.

• 31:22Sam Morril?

  That was a good roast. The Cable Guy roast was phenomenal.

• 31:24Mark Normand?

  That was a great one.

• 31:25Sam Morril?

  There was some hair, there was some anger on that one.

• 31:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 31:27Sam Morril?

  It was good.

• 31:28Mark Normand?

  That was the one where, uh, he said Geraldo like lost it. He was like, "Why are you so famous? I don't get it."

• 31:33Speaker 05

  He was like, "This one broke me."

• 31:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:37Sam Morril?

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• 32:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:58Sam Morril?

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• 33:02Mark Normand?

  That's the best wool.

• 33:02Sam Morril?

  That's that wool keeps your feet nice and warm in the winter.

• 33:05Mark Normand?

  Very nice.

• 33:06Sam Morril?

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• 33:29Mark Normand?

  No.

• 33:30Sam Morril?

  Is it ethical, right? Uh, no animal testing, probably ethical.

• 33:33Mark Normand?

  Very good.

• 33:34Sam Morril?

  I, I wear their shit all the time.

• 33:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, I love Quince.

• 33:36Sam Morril?

  I love it, dude. It's quality, it fits right, and it's not expensive. I, I love it. And I like what, like, it's not the logo everywhere on it.

• 33:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, true, true.

• 33:45Sam Morril?

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• 34:05Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 34:06Speaker 07

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• 34:36Sam Morril?

  Rates may vary.

• 34:38Mark Normand?

  I think he said Jeff Foxworthy was Magnum P.I. with AIDS? I could be wrong there.

• 34:43Speaker 03

  Dude, those era where everyone had an AIDS metaphor.

• 34:46Mark Normand?

  AIDS was big.

• 34:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:47Mark Normand?

  Because it still killed people.

• 34:48Speaker 03

  I hope you hit with an AIDS truck, I hope, and AIDS, the bird flies into your face. AIDS was a...

• 34:53Mark Normand?

  AIDS was big.

• 34:54Speaker 03

  Hot word.

• 34:55Mark Normand?

  Well, it killed like a couple million gays.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:59Speaker 03

  Some straights, too, actually.

• 35:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:01Mark Normand?

  That's a rumor. It's a myth.

• 35:03Speaker 04

  Hemophiliacs and homophiliacs.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  Dog addicts.

• 35:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:08Mark Normand?

  Hey, there you go.

• 35:09Speaker 05

  I heard a story. I went to the, what do you call it? STD clinic, whatever. And in the waiting room, there was a video, and it was like a 15-minute video about how AIDS was ravaging the black community. And then it turned over into a drug community. And then it was like 10 minutes on the gay community. And then it looped back to the black community. And I was like, I guess I'm all right.

• 35:30Speaker 05

  They just addressed the three.

• 35:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 35:32Speaker 03

  And then it was a MASH rerun.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  Imagine you got the disease and you're like, I'm white, why? That's, check it again, doctor.

• 35:41Speaker 04

  I'm so old.

• 35:42Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 35:43Speaker 04

  I'm so old. When I used to work as a teenager at a hospital delivering the food to the rooms. And then this disease came out, and nobody knew what it was. But they told us that when we delivered to these rooms, it was like all disposable utensils and plates. And I had to wear a mask and gloves. And they, but they still sent me in. And they, this is like in the first year of the disease.

• 36:04Speaker 03

  The fuck?

• 36:05Speaker 04

  They even had names.

• 36:05Speaker 03

  Whoa!

• 36:06Speaker 05

  Were you scared?

• 36:07Speaker 03

  Whoa, whoa!

• 36:08Speaker 04

  That is fucking hot.

• 36:12Speaker 06

  What do you call grids then? Gay-related immunity?

• 36:14Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 36:14Mark Normand?

  Whoa, grids.

• 36:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:17Speaker 05

  Is this a roast joke?

• 36:18Speaker 03

  Roasting the victims in the name.

• 36:22Speaker 05

  They're like, bring this to three S's, don't fuck anyone in the room.

• 36:27Speaker 05

  They don't look hungry.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  This is pre AIDS protocol, you're going in with just like a gas mask. That's terrifying, oh my god.

• 36:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm right, Hpi Lory, famously, this virus you get from eating ass. But I went to the doctor and I was like, I have AIDS, I know it, I was kinda having a real breakdown. And he goes, you gay? And I go, no. He goes, use needle? I go, no. He goes, you don't have AIDS. That was the doctor, in lab coat, told me that, and I left.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  You use needle?

• 36:53Sam Morril?

  Is he a Japanese?

• 36:54Mark Normand?

  He was Indian, he was Indian, I can't do the accent.

• 36:57Speaker 03

  You use a needle?

• 36:58Mark Normand?

  There I was, look how puffy, that was me in the throes of illness.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  God, oh my god, this is what I found, all y'all.

• 37:06Speaker 05

  It's horrible.

• 37:06Mark Normand?

  Horrible.

• 37:07Speaker 03

  You look like Nick Turner with AIDS. Hit by an AIDS drug.

• 37:13Speaker 05

  You look like you need AIDS there.

• 37:15Mark Normand?

  Pull up Nick Turner.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  Pull that up so they realize it was a good joke.

• 37:20Mark Normand?

  I want the people at home to appreciate it.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  Remember that?

• 37:24Mark Normand?

  You nailed it.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 37:25Speaker 05

  Good call.

• 37:27Mark Normand?

  Good call. He went to LA, I think he does a lot of acting.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  Okay, okay.

• 37:31Mark Normand?

  He got AIDS.

• 37:33Sam Morril?

  So you guys now, you burned how much, like 35 minutes?

• 37:36Speaker 03

  Was it 20?

• 37:37Speaker 02

  It's like 20, 25.

• 37:38Speaker 03

  20 of the best, of the, it was fine. If you've done it for like 14 years at this point, right, so it's like we have some extra stuff. If I was to five years in, this would be a terrifying moment.

• 37:47Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 37:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think we were lucky, because I had Dirty Bird 2, my previous album, so like the semifinals, I was like, I'm just gonna do everything from Dirty Bird. And then the crowd work, we didn't have to, I didn't, I think I burned one joke.

• 37:59Sam Morril?

  There was a crowd work set?

• 38:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:01Speaker 05

  That's brutal.

• 38:01Speaker 03

  It was crazy, you had to work in crowd work and topical, so it was random.

• 38:04Mark Normand?

  What?

• 38:05Speaker 03

  Just do any topical and also have some crowd work in there.

• 38:08Mark Normand?

  This is a lot of work.

• 38:08Speaker 03

  What the thief is this?

• 38:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was the one I was the most nervous about, because they did the roast, and then we didn't get a day to practice or to run our set. We had to do the next day, show up, 9am.

• 38:18Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  And then do crowd work.

• 38:21Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 38:21Mark Normand?

  This was a hellish week.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  It was the hardest week of my life.

• 38:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, we were terrified, we were terrified the entire time.

• 38:26Speaker 05

  And where were you filming this? Sorry, I missed the.

• 38:28Speaker 03

  Is New York the first round?

• 38:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:31Speaker 03

  We did, I don't think me and Kayla can give a fuck that first round. We were like, oh god, blah. And then we got in and actually it hit you more and more. You're like, well, okay, now I truly give a fuck.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  I need this. Uh, but it was fun. It was like, thank god you were there, because every time I was feeling too much, I would,

• 38:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:45Speaker 03

  I would pour myself into you.

• 38:47Speaker 02

  There's really a great picture of us, uh, it was after we were waiting to find out the results from the roast. And we're sitting there in a corner, just huddled together. And then he said something stupid. I don't remember what you said. And we're just doubled over laughing and then panic sweating and just like, this, never again.

• 39:02Speaker 03

  It was crazy. It was crazy. Cause I, I think we, everyone was from New York and some people from New York. But I think me and Kayla, we started together, like auto-shrunk and head. We're talking like, the shittiest mics on planet earth.

• 39:13Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 39:14Speaker 05

  Been there.

• 39:14Speaker 03

  The third friend in New York, basically I met her immediately when I came here.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, so that was, and then we were, we made it to the finale together and that was nice.

• 39:21Speaker 03

  That was like, that was the best part of the whole thing, actually.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  Have you found your draw on the road picture?

• 39:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:25Speaker 04

  Did you notice a difference?

• 39:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:27Speaker 05

  It's great.

• 39:28Speaker 03

  I mean, immediate. I think before-

• 39:30Speaker 05

  Are your agents paying way more attention to you?

• 39:32Speaker 02

  But, yes.

• 39:32Speaker 04

  I'm like, hey pal.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  I don't know, it's a different menu for the sellouters.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:37Speaker 03

  Buy meats and cheeses at the clubs. A little charcuterie. Um, before I, I was doing, maybe I'll do the same way. Friday, early, say 50%, 60%. Friday, late, 30% sold. Saturday, 80%. Saturday, late.

• 39:51Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  50, right? All that. Barely struggling in.

• 39:54Speaker 05

  I know.

• 39:55Speaker 03

  Definitely gotta kill or else they hate you, right?

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:57Speaker 03

  And now it's all sold out. Everything's sold.

• 39:59Speaker 05

  Now, are they still accepting the applications for this program?

• 40:02Speaker 02

  Well, we'll put you on the main. Yeah.

• 40:04Speaker 03

  We'll tag you in the post.

• 40:05Speaker 02

  Tag you in the post.

• 40:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, I remember those days too.

• 40:11Speaker 05

  A few days ago.

• 40:11Speaker 03

  You were literally insane. I think everything's, everything's selling out.

• 40:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, adding shows, stuff like that.

• 40:16Speaker 04

  Me and Bob Richvoss is like, Sunday at 6.

• 40:22Mark Normand?

  I'll be selling CDs out of my trunk.

• 40:25Speaker 03

  I saw it recently, he just still doing that riff, it was like, "You ever been to a Hampton Inn?" I'm like, "He's still doing that one." He still kills, still hits.

• 40:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah, boss's thing where he's like, "What's up, you middle?" I'm like, "Come on, man." I've been headlining for 10 years.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  I mean, a riff that lasts 40 years still works.

• 40:39Speaker 02

  How many specials do you need?

• 40:40Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 40:41Speaker 02

  You're still a middle.

• 40:43Mark Normand?

  But you let him have it, you're like, "Ah, you got me there."

• 40:45Speaker 05

  No, you gotta, once you're over a certain age, respectfully, you just gotta go, "All right, you got me."

• 40:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah, "You got me there," I'm just wiping spit off my face, like, "Good one."

• 40:54Sam Morril?

  He's like, "Everybody's gonna wheel him in, he's gonna be like, 'You fucking middle.'"

• 41:00Mark Normand?

  "Nupedora, you're 90."

• 41:03Sam Morril?

  He will be in a wheelchair, gray hair, in Air Force Ones.

• 41:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, for sure. Now, did you guys have, uh, cause when I did Last Comic Standing, when you got kicked off, you had to talk to a psychiatrist.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:14Mark Normand?

  They had that still?

• 41:15Speaker 02

  What?

• 41:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:16Speaker 05

  I've never had a psychiatrist.

• 41:18Mark Normand?

  Well, I did.

• 41:18Speaker 03

  They had a psyche eval person therapist before you even got on the show. So they would run through your shit, and you'd be like, "So, you ever suicidal?" And we're comics, you're like, "Only after a bad set." And they're like, "Ha ha, right?" And they're like, "So after you felt suicidal, did you harm any?" And it's like, there was no riffing.

• 41:33Speaker 05

  Oh, jeez.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  So I riffed a couple times, and I was like, "That's out, I'm done, I'm gone."

• 41:37Mark Normand?

  I like my comic suicidal, I want a Hedberg or a Lavelle.

• 41:41Speaker 03

  You want a better show, you want a couple crazies.

• 41:42Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 41:43Speaker 05

  I am after you said your numbers.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  I think some comics we know were in, and then last day, they were like, "No."

• 41:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, they found out the day before we were supposed to shoot that they didn't get it.

• 41:54Sam Morril?

  What does that, what does that mean?

• 41:55Mark Normand?

  That means they're the-

• 41:55Speaker 03

  The psyche eval, they were crazy.

• 41:57Speaker 02

  The background checks, psyche eval.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  The psyche eval, they failed, yeah. So they had a good set, and then it's like- We can tell you after, yeah.

• 42:03Mark Normand?

  Whoa, I'm gonna hear this.

• 42:05Speaker 05

  The jokes hit, but their mental state got them off.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying, like, that's crazy.

• 42:08Sam Morril?

  Everything was set.

• 42:10Mark Normand?

  Should be funny, funny, funny.

• 42:11Speaker 04

  I think Uncle Vinnie's in Jersey should have a psychiatrist.

• 42:17Speaker 05

  So was Yamadika furious when they kicked her off?

• 42:23Speaker 03

  It was crazy.

• 42:25Sam Morril?

  They did that. Who's idea is that to have a therapist?

• 42:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:27Mark Normand?

  Also, if your cop is crazy, then you might get mad that you got kicked off. Then you might shoot somebody or something.

• 42:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, I thought it was, I mean, my best interest to be a little crazy. That's what I did. I was like, I'll be a little suicidal. Uh oh.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  I was trying to play it cool the whole time. I was like, you're not gonna get my ass.

• 42:45Mark Normand?

  It's like Catch 22.

• 42:46Speaker 02

  I'm a nice lady.

• 42:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was weird. Then we got in and then it was the, it was a VU. That was the first round.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  And it was.

• 42:53Speaker 02

  That was awesome.

• 42:53Speaker 03

  People go crazy on, I don't know if like friends you know, who are not the same people.

• 42:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, totally, totally.

• 42:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, they lose their mind.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  Good friends, angry people.

• 43:04Speaker 02

  I know, we're like.

• 43:05Speaker 03

  Ripping their mics off, like, that's a nice, light-skinned guy. I don't know why he's being so dark-skinned, right?

• 43:12Mark Normand?

  Anyone have a snap set? Anyone just go, fuck this, fuck you, Kevin Hart, you, you, N-word beep.

• 43:18Sam Morril?

  Did it make it?

• 43:18Speaker 02

  No.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  There was a couple, a couple or two that had some crushes.

• 43:23Mark Normand?

  So how many did it start with? How many people were?

• 43:26Speaker 02

  There was 15 people in each city and then it went to.

• 43:29Sam Morril?

  How many cities?

• 43:31Speaker 02

  Three.

• 43:31Sam Morril?

  I missed all of them.

• 43:32Speaker 02

  And then the top five, five or seven were gone.

• 43:34Speaker 03

  First round was me, you, who's from New York? Who else?

• 43:37Speaker 02

  Eva Evans, Eva Evans.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  Leclerc was in it, Winston.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  Winston.

• 43:42Speaker 03

  Um, Reg.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, Andrea, Jen.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  Jan, yeah.

• 43:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, cause she didn't want to do the roast. She was like, this is not me.

• 43:50Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 43:51Speaker 06

  Even though she made the top 10.

• 43:53Mark Normand?

  Might as well try it.

• 43:54Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 43:54Speaker 03

  Oh, she was doing like opening, can I say this? I don't know, how many NDS have we?

• 43:59Speaker 02

  I took the first one, you have to take the second one.

• 44:02Speaker 03

  Uh, she was only from Mulaney at the time.

• 44:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 44:04Speaker 03

  She was paying way more money.

• 44:06Mark Normand?

  Sweet gig.

• 44:06Speaker 03

  And he has a production deal, I think, with Netflix. So she was like, why don't I just devote to.

• 44:11Mark Normand?

  He got Robbie Hoffman a special, I believe. Mulaney. Yeah, so she's like, I'll be fine with this guy.

• 44:17Speaker 03

  She is good.

• 44:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think she also just didn't want to do the roast and then this opportunity came up and she was like, yeah, I'm gonna do that.

• 44:23Sam Morril?

  It's weird, it's weird that you have to be like, you have to hit every beat. Cause not every comic is a crowd work person.

• 44:27Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 44:28Sam Morril?

  The roast person is.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  Dude was crazy.

• 44:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, but you're creative. You do, you go, alright, I'll do the roast, and you go, you know what? I don't like being mean to other people, so I'm gonna roast myself.

• 44:37Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 44:37Speaker 04

  You just do, you know?

• 44:38Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 44:39Speaker 04

  But survive, go to the next round.

• 44:41Mark Normand?

  Right. That's a good point.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  That was the one everybody wanted. They were like, just get me past the roast, and it doesn't matter, I'll be happy. And then, we said that with every round, but like, the roast was the, the roast was the one where we're like, just don't embarrass yourself.

• 44:53Mark Normand?

  But yeah.

• 44:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, it was like, I wanna do it myself, so I didn't want any writers too. I was like, let me, if I'm gonna die on this, let me just die on my own.

• 45:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  So I just, I watched every roast I could possibly, I watched every single Comedy Central roast.

• 45:04Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 45:05Speaker 03

  Slowly figured out how to fucking do it. It took me forever.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I, I met with people.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:10Mark Normand?

  Big team.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  I'm busy, so.

• 45:12Speaker 03

  Ron, I'm sweating, please.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:15Mark Normand?

  Did you throw him some money? Cause he needs it.

• 45:18Speaker 02

  It was before the baby was born, so.

• 45:20Mark Normand?

  Alright, look at him. Yeah, well, I opened for a Last Comic winner, I'm not gonna say who, and I gotta tell ya, he would do these shows, sold out, big theaters, and I would open for him, and you could see people slowly walk out. Ten minutes into a set, twelve, cause then they'd heard it all.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 45:35Mark Normand?

  They'd heard it all, so they were like, we've seen this, fuck this.

• 45:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:38Mark Normand?

  They were so excited to see him, the same act, every time, and they hated it.

• 45:42Speaker 02

  Really?

• 45:42Sam Morril?

  But enough about Daffan.

• 45:43Mark Normand?

  Anyway.

• 45:46Speaker 03

  It wasn't.

• 45:46Mark Normand?

  It wasn't Daffan.

• 45:47Sam Morril?

  Okay, alright.

• 45:48Speaker 02

  I can't wait to find out.

• 45:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:50Sam Morril?

  I opened for him once.

• 45:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 45:52Sam Morril?

  He was a ni- what? He was a nice guy.

• 45:54Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 45:54Speaker 05

  Do you know that Daffan story at the, uh, I think it was the store? Where did he come up? Was he from the store?

• 46:00Sam Morril?

  I don't know.

• 46:01Mark Normand?

  I don't know. He's probably.

• 46:02Speaker 05

  I think it was the store. Daffan was like a door guy at the, at the store, and everyone kinda like busted his balls, he's like this nerdy guy, and wasn't funny in their perceptions, they're like, you know, you bust a guy's balls, and it's like, yeah, fuck you, Daff, you suck, whatever, and then he goes and does Last Comic Standing, he wins, and he's coming back, and it's his first time coming back to the store, where he was a door guy, and this kinda nerd that everyone, you know, punked, or whatever the term, and he's walking in, and everyone starts applauding, and he's like, oh my god, he's like, moved, he's like, this is like the greatest moment of my life, everyone's clapping, people are like emotional, and he's like, wow, he's really taking it in, he, he looks back, and Rodney Dangerfield has a cane, and he's...

• 46:46Speaker 03

  That's too funny.

• 46:50Speaker 05

  There is a version of that that is true, and I think that's pretty close to the story.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  That's that fan, he doesn't get no respect, I'll tell you.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  No respect to him.

• 47:00Speaker 05

  Rodney's in a bathrobe.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  That fan is dead.

• 47:04Mark Normand?

  No, I saw him in a casino, I saw his poster at a casino not too long ago.

• 47:10Speaker 03

  I have a feeling he died.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  I think he's dead.

• 47:12Speaker 03

  Someone told me he died.

• 47:14Speaker 05

  Maybe on stage.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  No.

• 47:17Speaker 03

  Boom.

• 47:18Mark Normand?

  Still working.

• 47:19Speaker 05

  Oh, D75, there you go.

• 47:20Mark Normand?

  I met him once, he told me he gets his pants tailored so he can high kick during his set. So his pants don't rip.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  Good for him, that's commitment.

• 47:28Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 47:29Speaker 03

  He beat Raffi May, right?

• 47:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah. And in life.

• 47:34Speaker 03

  Oh, Raffi May is dead.

• 47:35Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 47:37Speaker 05

  Wasn't Voss third on that season?

• 47:39Speaker 03

  Oh shit.

• 47:40Mark Normand?

  Is that right?

• 47:41Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 47:42Mark Normand?

  No wonder he's alive.

• 47:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, because that was the first year.

• 47:44Speaker 03

  Didn't y'all have the crowd work episode too? I saw y'all have like, wasn't there a crowd work episode on the last Comic Standing season? Where April Macy gets like destroyed or something?

• 47:53Mark Normand?

  Not on my year.

• 47:55Speaker 05

  No, I did the last year, they didn't do it then.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  That's wild.

• 47:58Mark Normand?

  You had a good year because you had Norm and Jezzlenek. So more real comedians.

• 48:03Speaker 05

  Well, it was a very exciting year, Jezzlenek was there and Norm was a judge. But it was the first year that they didn't do the challenge and then it aired at 10pm instead of 9pm. So nobody watched it.

• 48:14Mark Normand?

  And you got pretty far.

• 48:15Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  The more I did comedy, I was watching it and I was like, oh, this Joe Lisco.

• 48:19Speaker 05

  Thank you, I was in the top 10, yeah.

• 48:20Speaker 03

  That's what I found out about you.

• 48:21Speaker 02

  You did the baby joke with the itching.

• 48:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, I had a great set, but it was one of many things that I was like, now it's, now, here we go. And they were like, yeah, ratings are bad.

• 48:32Speaker 04

  Did you run out of clean material?

• 48:35Speaker 05

  No, no, I did great.

• 48:39Speaker 02

  I remember.

• 48:39Sam Morril?

  Well, it's hard.

• 48:40Mark Normand?

  It was hard.

• 48:42Sam Morril?

  Netflix, they can say whatever.

• 48:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 48:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:44Speaker 05

  Were y'all three on the one that Joe was on?

• 48:46Sam Morril?

  No, I was on the season Joe was on, and I think, Marv, you were on the year before.

• 48:49Mark Normand?

  The year before, yeah. I had Roseanne.

• 48:51Speaker 05

  What was amazing about it was it was union, because I was doing, last time we stayed, the exact same time that Vider was doing America's Got Talent, which was a non-union. So he was like, on the show all the time, making no money and flying himself to LA.

• 49:04Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 49:04Speaker 05

  And I was getting paid like, hundreds of dollars an hour to just fart around.

• 49:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 49:09Speaker 05

  So he got like, a hundred thousand followers, I got none, but I made like, seventy-five thousand dollars or something. What the fuck?

• 49:15Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 49:16Speaker 05

  I'm guessing on the number, but it was a bunch.

• 49:18Speaker 04

  I just added up how much he makes a year, you know, he's making half a million dollars a year.

• 49:23Mark Normand?

  Whoa. Blow it down.

• 49:25Speaker 05

  This is good podcasting. No, this is him assessing. Do that, do these guys. I feel like that's a lowball for Joe.

• 49:36Speaker 04

  I think it is, after I said it, I went, no, he's making more.

• 49:39Mark Normand?

  Pull up the Google on him.

• 49:41Sam Morril?

  Do this all the time, why are we doing this?

• 49:45Speaker 05

  I'm not all that comfortable with this.

• 49:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's like women's weight on Tinder.

• 49:53Speaker 05

  That's actually hurtful.

• 49:56Speaker 05

  Not the 1.2 million from Florida, holy shit. Thank you.

• 49:59Mark Normand?

  There you go. Now, who was your judges?

• 50:01Speaker 05

  Hey, I just made eight hundred thousand dollars, look at that. Whoa. Scroll down one more, let's see if I can get to three. Oh, Jesus, don't click on that.

• 50:11Speaker 04

  Over five hundred thousand.

• 50:13Mark Normand?

  Easily.

• 50:14Speaker 05

  Wow. A lot of people are thinking about this.

• 50:18Mark Normand?

  Well, Regs is paying.

• 50:22Speaker 05

  What is this?

• 50:23Mark Normand?

  This is Alex's home screen.

• 50:25Speaker 05

  What's wrong with you?

• 50:29Speaker 02

  Oh god.

• 50:30Mark Normand?

  Now who were your judges? You had Norm, uh, who's the other guy? Norm?

• 50:35Sam Morril?

  Keenan and Roseanne.

• 50:36Speaker 05

  And Roseanne, that's right, yeah, yeah. And Norm was incredibly nice to me and then the entire country took it as very insulting. He's like, "You're an amazing writer, your future's gonna be in writing." And everyone's like, "He just said he's ugly, he's a piece of shit." And I was like, "Oh, I think, I think he was being nice."

• 50:51Mark Normand?

  Oh, let's see, Plouf's feet.

• 50:54Speaker 05

  What are you doing?

• 50:54Speaker 03

  It's there.

• 50:55Speaker 05

  This is Kayla Plouf's.

• 50:56Mark Normand?

  They got everybody.

• 50:57Speaker 06

  On WikiFeet.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm on WikiFeet?

• 50:59Mark Normand?

  You are.

• 51:00Speaker 03

  This is crazy.

• 51:01Mark Normand?

  Who's looking at her feet when Matt Taylor's there?

• 51:03Sam Morril?

  We finally get a woman on the show and you have to make her uncomfortable. What the fuck?

• 51:06Speaker 02

  It is crazy that you're pulling up a bikini pic of me right now.

• 51:09Speaker 05

  Well, it's on- Right after he pulled up my net worth. What the fuck?

• 51:12Speaker 06

  I looked up your WikiFeet. I looked up his WikiFeet first and he's not on there.

• 51:16Speaker 05

  This is insane.

• 51:17Mark Normand?

  Now pull up Greg's dick.

• 51:20Speaker 06

  He's on bigger TV.

• 51:21Speaker 05

  Before you do that, send me the link to that site, but that is inappropriate.

• 51:25Speaker 03

  No, Greg's on WikiFeet.

• 51:26Sam Morril?

  Who are the judges, who are the judges in your final round?

• 51:29Speaker 03

  It was, uh, Leguizer.

• 51:31Mark Normand?

  And Tom.

• 51:32Speaker 02

  Tom Segura.

• 51:33Mark Normand?

  Real comedians.

• 51:34Sam Morril?

  So they had to choose, oh, the country chooses.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  No, the country, they had no say.

• 51:37Sam Morril?

  But, but, they must have some say, because they're, they're commenting on it before people vote, right?

• 51:41Speaker 03

  There was a, there was a-

• 51:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, they commented, but they were nice to everybody.

• 51:45Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 51:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it looks a bad look if you're like, "You fucking hack, kill yourself."

• 51:49Speaker 04

  Norm could be a little rough, though, right?

• 51:51Mark Normand?

  Norm could be rough.

• 51:52Speaker 05

  He got into it with Harrison Greenbaum, I remember.

• 51:54Speaker 02

  Oh, I do remember that.

• 51:55Speaker 05

  Because he did some anti-Christian stuff.

• 51:57Mark Normand?

  And it got heated. It went back and forth on Twitter after that, too.

• 51:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 52:00Mark Normand?

  Didn't end on screen.

• 52:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 52:02Mark Normand?

  Norm really couldn't let it go.

• 52:03Sam Morril?

  That's crazy.

• 52:04Speaker 04

  No, Norm, I remember he was on my podcast once and I said something about priests and he fucking laid into me.

• 52:09Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 52:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was a big defender of the, uh, the Christian Catholic.

• 52:12Speaker 03

  Was he Christian or Catholic?

• 52:13Speaker 02

  Really?

• 52:14Speaker 04

  I think it was Catholic.

• 52:14Mark Normand?

  I think it was Catholic. He fought with Dawkins online once.

• 52:18Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 52:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 52:19Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 52:20Mark Normand?

  They went at him. I think he got the best of him a little bit. And on Atheists.

• 52:23Speaker 03

  The Nuggets?

• 52:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 52:24Speaker 03

  Nuggets had all the stuff locked in, though. He was, he was good.

• 52:27Mark Normand?

  He had one that Dawkins didn't, he couldn't, he's like, "I can't answer that one." And Norm was like, "I think I got you there, dickless." So, very exciting. Then he died, so maybe God got him.

• 52:37Sam Morril?

  Both died, I guess.

• 52:39Mark Normand?

  Dawkins died?

• 52:40Sam Morril?

  Is he dead?

• 52:41Speaker 02

  I, buddy, you gotta stop saying this thing. I don't know what you're doing, but you can't swing again.

• 52:48Speaker 03

  Sam's like, Daryl Dawkins is dead?

• 52:50Sam Morril?

  Christopher Hitchens is dead.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  A couple of God hater novel guys.

• 52:54Mark Normand?

  That's true. That's a good point.

• 52:56Speaker 03

  They all, same to me.

• 52:58Speaker 05

  Whether the, the new atheist people. Is Dottie Parton dead? Why is she up there?

• 53:04Mark Normand?

  She's been dead.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  Let me see her feet, Mike.

• 53:06Mark Normand?

  Wait, no, she is alive.

• 53:08Sam Morril?

  No, she's alive.

• 53:09Speaker 06

  Yeah, she has a WikiFeet.

• 53:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, pull up her WikiFeet.

• 53:12Sam Morril?

  Fucking guy.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  I didn't even know that existed.

• 53:15Mark Normand?

  Stand by your man.

• 53:17Sam Morril?

  That's not her.

• 53:18Speaker 05

  That's a different lady.

• 53:19Sam Morril?

  That's not her song. This is goof. Uh, who sang Stand by Your Man?

• 53:22Mark Normand?

  I'm sure she did a rendition.

• 53:23Sam Morril?

  Tammy something, I think?

• 53:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, Tammy, uh, Peskettelli.

• 53:26Sam Morril?

  This is real upside, this is.

• 53:27Speaker 05

  Tammy Womack.

• 53:29Speaker 06

  Tammy Wynette.

• 53:30Speaker 05

  Wynette.

• 53:31Sam Morril?

  Opening to the great, opening to what movie? Sal Akkus?

• 53:34Speaker 06

  Which one?

• 53:34Sam Morril?

  Stand by Your Man.

• 53:37Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 53:37Sam Morril?

  Five Easy Pieces.

• 53:38Speaker 06

  Oh, shit.

• 53:40Sam Morril?

  Nicholson.

• 53:41Speaker 05

  Also amazing, uh, role played in Blues Brothers. Stand by Your Man.

• 53:45Speaker 06

  Right, they sang it on stage.

• 53:46Sam Morril?

  That's upside, this is good.

• 53:48Speaker 06

  Yeah?

• 53:48Sam Morril?

  I might.

• 53:48Speaker 06

  Oh, you can't do this?

• 53:51Mark Normand?

  What are we doing here?

• 53:54Mark Normand?

  When did you get all into WikiFeet?

• 53:56Speaker 06

  I look up every guest when they come in. I apologize to you, but I looked up Joe first.

• 53:59Mark Normand?

  Are you a feet guy?

• 54:00Speaker 03

  Am I in there?

• 54:01Speaker 06

  No, I'm not a foot guy.

• 54:01Speaker 03

  Am I?

• 54:02Speaker 06

  I don't think so.

• 54:03Sam Morril?

  I think I keep my feet pretty.

• 54:05Mark Normand?

  I have a theory that.

• 54:06Speaker 02

  Well, men's feet is gross. Men's feet are disgusting.

• 54:07Sam Morril?

  Maybe I'm hanging an episode or three.

• 54:09Speaker 05

  I think foot fetishism is more shame than pedophilia.

• 54:12Mark Normand?

  Well, he's a big, uh, proponent.

• 54:14Sam Morril?

  I would rather be a foot fetishist.

• 54:16Mark Normand?

  But people react.

• 54:17Speaker 02

  I'm gonna put a toe in my mouth, honestly.

• 54:18Mark Normand?

  People react like, hey, hey, I'm not a foot guy. Whoa, foot, what are you, a foot guy? People act like it's like, this crazy thing.

• 54:24Speaker 03

  Bring it up, people will start looking.

• 54:27Speaker 05

  At feet.

• 54:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:28Mark Normand?

  You're a foot guy.

• 54:28Speaker 04

  I'm not, I'm not a fetishist, but like, I'm not afraid to say I like a nice pair of feet.

• 54:33Speaker 05

  I like a foot too.

• 54:34Speaker 04

  You know, like if a girl's got flip flops on and, you know, it's a nice rounded, like an Asian foot. Where it's, where it's very.

• 54:42Speaker 03

  Specific fetish.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  Turning a corner.

• 54:46Mark Normand?

  I'm not.

• 54:46Speaker 03

  Binding or whatever.

• 54:48Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw that.

• 54:50Mark Normand?

  This is fun.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  Oh, where they got, yeah.

• 54:52Speaker 02

  Oh, I hate this. I can't even watch it.

• 54:54Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 54:55Speaker 02

  This is so.

• 54:55Speaker 03

  Caitlyn, Caitlyn.

• 54:56Mark Normand?

  And that's a midtown.

• 54:57Speaker 02

  I know what's happening.

• 54:58Mark Normand?

  Midtown foot right there.

• 54:59Speaker 02

  Against my will.

• 55:00Speaker 05

  That's really gross.

• 55:01Speaker 03

  Like a city foot.

• 55:02Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 55:03Speaker 03

  Been on the subway train.

• 55:04Speaker 04

  Were you at the parade, Sam?

• 55:06Sam Morril?

  No, it's too much for me. I, I celebrated from home. I.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  No, I was there. I loved it.

• 55:10Sam Morril?

  It's too, it's too small an area. You gotta get out of the Canyon of Heroes and put it somewhere else.

• 55:15Speaker 05

  I agree. It's in my neighborhood. It's horrible.

• 55:18Speaker 03

  You sent me that video early.

• 55:19Speaker 05

  I was leaving for the airport like five forty-five and like the, the, what do you call it? They were coming in. They were like bringing the floats in.

• 55:25Speaker 04

  My son works on that street and he couldn't go to work that day.

• 55:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 55:29Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 55:30Sam Morril?

  My brother works down there too. He couldn't go in.

• 55:32Speaker 04

  So I, I feel like all comedians watch the series through you. I really do. Like I was happy for the Knicks, but I was happier for you.

• 55:41Speaker 03

  It was crazy. It was a good time, man.

• 55:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:43Speaker 05

  You're a better man than me because Stavros is, I would have to be, I'd be unfriends with him. I couldn't handle it. Cause he rooted for the Bucks like three seasons ago. He's posting like a carousel of the Knicks. I'm like, get out of here. This is my day.

• 55:55Sam Morril?

  He was, he came here and became a Knicks fan because he didn't have a team growing up, but he rooted for Giannis. He loves Giannis.

• 56:00Mark Normand?

  Green Creek.

• 56:01Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 56:01Speaker 05

  I can't abide. I don't accept it.

• 56:04Speaker 04

  Did you go to every game?

• 56:05Sam Morril?

  No, I wouldn't go to, not every game, but I went to a few.

• 56:07Speaker 05

  Look up his, look up his net worth real quick. Let's see.

• 56:12Sam Morril?

  I'm not paying for those seats, so.

• 56:15Sam Morril?

  But no, that was, uh, that tipping game was the greatest thing I've ever seen.

• 56:18Speaker 03

  It blew my mind.

• 56:19Speaker 02

  So cool. You were there?

• 56:20Sam Morril?

  I wasn't at that one. I was.

• 56:21Speaker 03

  You know, I was in LA doing shows. I had it playing streaming while I was doing stand-up. So I was like, I.

• 56:26Speaker 05

  Oh, the audience loved that.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. They, they, they were.

• 56:29Speaker 02

  Sold out crowd. Hot ticket.

• 56:31Speaker 03

  It was my fucking twenty-five people.

• 56:34Mark Normand?

  What club?

• 56:34Speaker 03

  Uh, La Petri.

• 56:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 56:37Speaker 03

  It was fine. It was fine. Who, listen, it's like a Thursday show.

• 56:40Mark Normand?

  That's worse than Kramer.

• 56:41Speaker 03

  Tuesday.

• 56:43Speaker 04

  I was in the city for game three and it was so weird because I'm, I'm out on the street and it's all black people, you know, by Bryant Square Park. And then you watch the game.

• 56:55Sam Morril?

  Well, they live there.

• 56:56Speaker 04

  And you watch like the inside.

• 56:57Sam Morril?

  Sorry.

• 56:58Speaker 04

  The in, what did you say?

• 56:59Sam Morril?

  They live in the street. It was a joke. I feel horrible. Cut that. Jesus Christ.

• 57:03Speaker 04

  But like, everybody in the street is black and then you cut to inside the arena and everybody's white. Then you cut to the floor and all the players are black.

• 57:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:13Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 57:14Speaker 04

  It is interesting.

• 57:16Speaker 03

  Liberal.

• 57:19Mark Normand?

  Cuck, cuck alert. So what you're saying is the hockey team needs to win. Get some fights out in the street.

• 57:26Speaker 04

  Did the Knicks have any white players?

• 57:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we got Colek.

• 57:29Speaker 03

  Colek's white.

• 57:30Speaker 04

  Did he play?

• 57:31Sam Morril?

  He played in the, he's a good player. We, we're just that deep that Alvarado took his minutes, but no, Colek's really good.

• 57:37Mark Normand?

  He got snubbed at the parade. You saw that?

• 57:39Sam Morril?

  Amazing.

• 57:39Mark Normand?

  That's racial profiling. They're like, who's this twink out here?

• 57:43Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:44Mark Normand?

  And then all the cops grabbed him and he's like, I'm on the team, dick.

• 57:48Mark Normand?

  That's kinda fucked up. That was reversed on a hockey team?

• 57:51Sam Morril?

  That happened to, uh, what's his, the tennis player there, uh...

• 57:55Mark Normand?

  Serena Williams.

• 57:55Sam Morril?

  James Blake. He got like tackled and tased at the US Open one.

• 57:59Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 57:59Sam Morril?

  I don't know about tased, but you know.

• 58:01Speaker 03

  I was gonna say, James Blake hater.

• 58:02Mark Normand?

  I was about to get him. I mean, in their defense, he, he looks like a guy who works at Buffalo Wild Wings or something like, he's just a regular guy.

• 58:09Speaker 03

  I'll give a wing stop.

• 58:10Sam Morril?

  That's amazing. This would be literally the biggest news story.

• 58:13Mark Normand?

  That's what I'm saying. This was reversed. But.

• 58:17Speaker 03

  He, he was moving kinda Gen Z. I'm not gonna lie. He was moving kinda goofy.

• 58:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was skipping.

• 58:22Speaker 03

  He was not a championship.

• 58:23Speaker 02

  He was skipping.

• 58:24Mark Normand?

  Well, he just won.

• 58:24Speaker 03

  Championship moving like that.

• 58:25Mark Normand?

  You're allowed to skip. He won a championship. Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 03

  It was crazy.

• 58:29Sam Morril?

  I, I ran into Michael Cox from, from Fallon, uh, last night and he said, man, I was there when the whole team was there, they were lit up. And I was like, they deserve it, man.

• 58:37Mark Normand?

  Let him be lit up. Let him be lit up. They wait all year.

• 58:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:40Sam Morril?

  They, they, 10 weeks of just grinding.

• 58:42Speaker 04

  Think of the 86 Mets.

• 58:44Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 58:44Sam Morril?

  They were more than lit up.

• 58:45Speaker 04

  They were lit before and after.

• 58:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, during.

• 58:49Speaker 04

  During.

• 58:49Speaker 03

  I, I was, the switch up of the commentators is crazy. So like the, the hate Brunson was getting before.

• 58:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 58:56Speaker 03

  And now the way they're like, you know, uh, shitting on anybody who's not ranking him higher immediately. It's it's so quick how they change up.

• 59:04Speaker 04

  Are they gonna trade anybody out in the offseason?

• 59:07Speaker 03

  Well, it's about who you can get. Giannis is in the heat now.

• 59:09Sam Morril?

  Giannis to Miami is pretty big.

• 59:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:11Speaker 05

  Did that happen?

• 59:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, it happened, yeah.

• 59:13Speaker 05

  What?

• 59:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:14Speaker 05

  No shit?

• 59:15Speaker 03

  He's the Bucks a lot of years, I feel like.

• 59:16Sam Morril?

  They're they're gonna be thin though, cuz you know, it depends who they can afford to keep. We'll see.

• 59:20Speaker 05

  Well, Stavros will have to go to Miami parade next year.

• 59:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, too warm. He can't handle it.

• 59:26Speaker 06

  I got a joke.

• 59:27Speaker 05

  Oh, so anyway, this is this is something that happened with a tennis player, James Blake, the thing that we're talking about.

• 59:32Mark Normand?

  Where was he?

• 59:33Speaker 05

  But we've moved on at this point, but.

• 59:35Speaker 06

  He got arrested. He just happened to be a black guy.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey!

• 59:39Mark Normand?

  What happened?

• 59:40Speaker 03

  You didn't even do anything.

• 59:41Speaker 06

  He he they mistook him for a criminal.

• 59:44Mark Normand?

  Oh, he fit the description.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:47Sam Morril?

  Did he get a lawsuit out of this?

• 59:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:50Speaker 05

  I've really got my Jew cap on today.

• 59:52Mark Normand?

  It's all the yarmulke.

• 59:53Sam Morril?

  You're gonna sue.

• 59:55Mark Normand?

  What what uh what ethnicity is this cat?

• 59:58Speaker 05

  I think he's black.

• 59:59Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 59:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, no.

• 1:00:01Speaker 04

  And he's light-skinned.

• 1:00:02Speaker 05

  Tennis hair.

• 1:00:03Mark Normand?

  I can go either way.

• 1:00:03Speaker 03

  James Blake is a very.

• 1:00:04Sam Morril?

  He was a good player.

• 1:00:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:06Mark Normand?

  Not anymore. They ruined his arm.

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  That's cool.

• 1:00:08Mark Normand?

  He was a.

• 1:00:10Speaker 05

  It's called play up. This is ten years ago.

• 1:00:14Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  Did he win anything else?

• 1:00:16Sam Morril?

  Sports at all?

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:18Sam Morril?

  What what's your sport, Kay?

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  Soccer. I'm watching the World Cup right now.

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm going in.

• 1:00:21Speaker 02

  USA is doing pretty good.

• 1:00:23Sam Morril?

  I like the games.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  Pretty good. They're great. I'm so excited.

• 1:00:26Mark Normand?

  It's fun seeing all the stereotypes come to life. You know, the Scots are drinking.

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:30Mark Normand?

  The Norwegians are rowing up an escalator.

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  The Japanese are cleaning up after them. I mean, it's very sweet. It's lovely. Everybody's getting along. We love it.

• 1:00:39Speaker 03

  The Japanese people are coming in like they didn't have they didn't have internet for the last ten years. What the uh barbecue? It's like you Googled it before Hiroshi.

• 1:00:48Speaker 04

  That's true. It's so weird, though. The fucking Iranians finish their games, they get flown to Tijuana immediately, that night.

• 1:00:55Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:00:56Speaker 04

  Pretty gross in this country.

• 1:00:58Mark Normand?

  Is that right?

• 1:00:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:00Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:01:00Speaker 03

  It's pretty bad. They're they're it's like deported almost.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:04Speaker 03

  You know, basically.

• 1:01:05Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 1:01:06Speaker 03

  I mean, and they also got a goal taken away from them. You know this?

• 1:01:09Speaker 02

  Oh, I didn't know.

• 1:01:10Speaker 03

  The Iran the Iran team, they took away a goal from them and they said sorry later after the game. My bad, it was a goal. Ha ha.

• 1:01:15Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:01:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. They're they're they're fucking them up a little bit.

• 1:01:18Mark Normand?

  Thank God they don't have nukes.

• 1:01:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  That we know of.

• 1:01:23Speaker 03

  Anymore.

• 1:01:24Mark Normand?

  Good point. Nukes hazard.

• 1:01:27Speaker 03

  No, it's crazy.

• 1:01:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, also the, oh, sorry, but there was a Norwegian guy in Bucky's filming and he was just like, this is insane. This is what a country.

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  Every French person in a Costco or Walmart is a video. I am double tapping.

• 1:01:38Mark Normand?

  Ah, yeah, same.

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  They're so happy.

• 1:01:39Mark Normand?

  Bring it on.

• 1:01:40Speaker 02

  Everything is so much.

• 1:01:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah. You can buy a bed here.

• 1:01:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  Sure, they would never go to like Biloxi, Mississippi.

• 1:01:48Mark Normand?

  Of course.

• 1:01:48Speaker 03

  It's always New York or LA. It's another really seeing.

• 1:01:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:51Speaker 03

  America. It's kind of just, I kind of like it.

• 1:01:53Mark Normand?

  It's great.

• 1:01:53Speaker 04

  Well, Kansas, they say the people in Kansas are kind of welcoming to all the different people.

• 1:01:57Mark Normand?

  KC.

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, the Algerian team, they're like out there with signs being like, welcome.

• 1:02:03Speaker 03

  I know there's one, one guy who's really mad the whole.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  Oh, of course.

• 1:02:07Speaker 03

  What the hell is this shit?

• 1:02:08Speaker 02

  They're not showing that on TikTok.

• 1:02:10Mark Normand?

  You couldn't get Sweden here?

• 1:02:13Speaker 05

  I find the World Cup to be the most underwhelming trophy in the history of sports. It's like.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  It's a bad trophy?

• 1:02:19Speaker 05

  It's a terrible trophy.

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  It's like.

• 1:02:20Speaker 05

  It looks like a cup.

• 1:02:21Speaker 03

  Small.

• 1:02:22Mark Normand?

  I need him to pull up his trophy.

• 1:02:23Speaker 05

  Sal Cus went to take a shit.

• 1:02:25Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:02:25Speaker 05

  Or look at the Wicca. The Wicca. Hey, we need to see the World Cups trophy.

• 1:02:30Speaker 03

  He rubbed one out in the bathroom.

• 1:02:32Speaker 05

  Particularly if you could get it next to the other famous trophies.

• 1:02:36Speaker 03

  It's a small, that's ball.

• 1:02:37Speaker 05

  It's little.

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  It's like the size of a bottle of whiskey.

• 1:02:41Speaker 05

  And it's like a, it's like a little ball.

• 1:02:43Mark Normand?

  It's a World Cup, the world.

• 1:02:45Speaker 05

  It's terrible.

• 1:02:47Speaker 03

  It's pretty good.

• 1:02:47Mark Normand?

  It should be like an Epcot Center. What is that thing in Queens? A big old globe?

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. See, like it's like a little.

• 1:02:54Speaker 05

  Yes, shitty. It looks shitty.

• 1:02:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're right. You're right.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:03:00Mark Normand?

  That's it?

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  That's it?

• 1:03:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, if it's in your hand.

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  It's, it's lame, yeah.

• 1:03:03Mark Normand?

  That's worse than the MTV popcorn win. You know what I mean? When you win the, uh, the MTV Awards?

• 1:03:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:09Speaker 03

  Do they still do those?

• 1:03:11Mark Normand?

  I think so.

• 1:03:12Speaker 05

  No, they don't do those, do they?

• 1:03:14Mark Normand?

  I don't know. That was a good trophy.

• 1:03:15Speaker 02

  VMAs?

• 1:03:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the VMA.

• 1:03:19Speaker 03

  I mean, that's like, the Stanley Cup is the coolest trophy in my opinion.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:22Speaker 03

  It's a big cup. It's actually, and you can drink out of it.

• 1:03:25Speaker 05

  And the hardest to win.

• 1:03:26Speaker 03

  That's a party.

• 1:03:28Speaker 05

  And the Rangers are pissed at it.

• 1:03:29Mark Normand?

  At least of the astronaut.

• 1:03:30Speaker 03

  So lame.

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  The moon man?

• 1:03:34Speaker 03

  I think people would watch the Oscars more if the trophy was bigger.

• 1:03:36Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  That's my, that's my take on how to get the Oscars more watched. Huge trophy.

• 1:03:41Mark Normand?

  Peter Dinklage is out there.

• 1:03:44Speaker 03

  It's a Peter Dinklage sized trophy.

• 1:03:45Speaker 05

  Now, this is one of the most depressing things in society to me, because I had what Matt just had. If you Google the Stanley Cup, you get pages and pages of the stupid coffee cup Stanley cup.

• 1:03:56Speaker 03

  Why is that cup so popular?

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  Well.

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  As the token lady, um, it's just very insulated. It's cute. It has a straw. It goes all the way to the bottom. And it's, and it doesn't spill. It's spill proof.

• 1:04:08Speaker 03

  But doesn't every, doesn't every straw do that?

• 1:04:11Speaker 02

  No, it does not. Okay?

• 1:04:12Speaker 05

  Sam, you shut your mouth.

• 1:04:14Speaker 02

  It fits in every cup holder.

• 1:04:16Mark Normand?

  No, no, I'll tell you what it is. This cup is like Pete Davidson. Women only like it because other women like it. It's not because the cup is that great. Other women like the cup.

• 1:04:25Speaker 02

  Well, it had this viral video.

• 1:04:27Speaker 05

  The mug is round. The cup is round.

• 1:04:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, I saw a Kardashian.

• 1:04:30Mark Normand?

  The jar is round.

• 1:04:34Mark Normand?

  I think I have a point.

• 1:04:35Speaker 03

  What is that?

• 1:04:38Mark Normand?

  Pete Davidson, good guy, other women, funny guy.

• 1:04:42Speaker 03

  Matt is trying to save it?

• 1:04:43Mark Normand?

  We're back. I'm not saying this cup is bad either. I'm just saying other women go, what's up with this guy?

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  It's a good cup. It's a fine cup.

• 1:04:50Mark Normand?

  It's a hell of a cup.

• 1:04:51Speaker 05

  It's a good cup.

• 1:04:51Speaker 06

  Two-fister.

• 1:04:53Speaker 05

  Got some good bits. Very nice.

• 1:04:55Speaker 03

  It's a deadbeat cup over here.

• 1:04:57Speaker 02

  No, it's a good cup.

• 1:04:58Mark Normand?

  Great cup.

• 1:04:59Speaker 03

  I like the cup like that, but I just don't understand the hysteria.

• 1:05:02Mark Normand?

  You don't know the cups?

• 1:05:04Speaker 03

  Wait, why, why is there some that's 40, 20, 300? Why the price range is so crazy?

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  I mean, that I don't, I don't know.

• 1:05:10Mark Normand?

  It's like Beanie Babies.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think there's a collector item.

• 1:05:14Mark Normand?

  Oliver references are from 1999.

• 1:05:18Speaker 03

  It's like POGS.

• 1:05:21Speaker 03

  The mass reference coming to be crazy.

• 1:05:26Speaker 03

  Anyone got peeves?

• 1:05:27Mark Normand?

  I got a peeve. I actually have a peeve.

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 1:05:30Mark Normand?

  I'm proud of this peeve.

• 1:05:31Speaker 03

  Peeve.

• 1:05:31Mark Normand?

  Alright. I hope we haven't done this one. You go to a rental car place, or someplace where you need help, you need a guy at the desk. Right when you're in line, you got the fucking, you know, the mouse maze, you're waiting in line. I'm next. Here we go. That guy goes on break. You ever have that, right when you're next, and the guy goes, "I'm going to break," and you go, "Ah!" There's like four people, you know, and you're like, "Ah, that guy's, he's closing up." He's finishing with the computer guy, and then he goes on break, right when you're next. Drives me crazy.

• 1:06:01Speaker 03

  I agree. Also, the person left is never the A-team.

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  It's always, it's always B-team Betty.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  B-team and they're pissed that they're still there.

• 1:06:09Mark Normand?

  They're getting sister.

• 1:06:10Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, that one's amazing.

• 1:06:11Speaker 05

  I need to get rid of labor laws.

• 1:06:13Speaker 04

  I was checking into my hotel yesterday, and there was a huge line, and one person checking people in. And then the concierge guy is standing right there behind his little concierge desk, I'm like, "Dude, grab, grab a fucking beer."

• 1:06:26Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes!

• 1:06:27Speaker 04

  Let's work as a team here.

• 1:06:28Mark Normand?

  It's a barrage. You're like, "Oh, there's another guy." Nah, he's a different guy.

• 1:06:32Speaker 03

  Oh my god, you're so right. When a, when a barback is in the bar, and he's like, "Ah, buddy, take the towel off."

• 1:06:38Mark Normand?

  Rack of Bud Light.

• 1:06:39Sam Morril?

  You can pop a beer cap off, yeah.

• 1:06:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you can open up a beer.

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  That's so true. I hate that.

• 1:06:44Mark Normand?

  That barback is a, yeah, Gaffigan has a great bit about that.

• 1:06:47Speaker 02

  I love a barback.

• 1:06:48Mark Normand?

  Why?

• 1:06:49Speaker 02

  Oh, I date a barback.

• 1:06:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, you're saying a barback.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  I dated a lot of barbacks.

• 1:06:52Speaker 03

  Cause they're strong.

• 1:06:52Speaker 02

  Cause they're strong, they're fun, they still get free drinks, it's fun.

• 1:06:56Speaker 03

  They have no future, kind of.

• 1:06:57Speaker 02

  None. Lots of tattoos, yeah.

• 1:07:00Speaker 03

  You want, you want the, you want the rag on them?

• 1:07:02Speaker 02

  Absolutely, yeah. I want them with a list and a pencil in their hand. I want to go into the mason.

• 1:07:07Mark Normand?

  You want a lisp?

• 1:07:08Speaker 02

  No, a lisp.

• 1:07:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, oh, oh. You're talking about specific fetishes.

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  I'm literally thinking of one guy, yeah.

• 1:07:17Mark Normand?

  I need a man with a lisp. Joe Lisp.

• 1:07:20Speaker 03

  That's a great peeve. I really like that.

• 1:07:22Mark Normand?

  Thank you. Appreciate it.

• 1:07:24Speaker 03

  I had that in Portland, had that in Seattle a couple of years.

• 1:07:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the hotel's a big one. When you're just waiting, there's like three desks.

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  Also, it's like, you know the person just traveled to get there.

• 1:07:32Mark Normand?

  They don't care. They don't care.

• 1:07:34Speaker 02

  Or when you do the, the walk up, and they go, "Actually," and then they make you step back.

• 1:07:38Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 1:07:38Speaker 04

  Actually is never good.

• 1:07:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, that actually.

• 1:07:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:42Mark Normand?

  You know what else I don't love, if no one else is chiming in? The bell on the hotel desk? They hate when you hit that ding.

• 1:07:49Sam Morril?

  That's right.

• 1:07:49Mark Normand?

  They don't put it out there. I'm dying to hit that bell. Everybody wants to go and go ping. It's sitting right there teasing you like a stripper you can't touch.

• 1:07:57Speaker 04

  It's like the flight attendant. You got the fucking light.

• 1:08:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, they hate that light.

• 1:08:01Speaker 04

  They hate it.

• 1:08:02Sam Morril?

  Oh, right.

• 1:08:02Speaker 04

  And I overuse it. Like, if I have two people sleeping next to me, because I would get the window. If I want a cup of coffee, ding. Coffee, one frame. I'll do it twice in a flight.

• 1:08:12Sam Morril?

  I used to love, remember on Virgin Airlines, you could, you could just do the, on the fucking, on the, on the little screen, you could just be like, coffee.

• 1:08:19Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:08:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:21Sam Morril?

  It was the greatest.

• 1:08:23Mark Normand?

  I've never knew that.

• 1:08:23Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, I miss that airline.

• 1:08:25Speaker 04

  This Virgin was the best.

• 1:08:27Speaker 03

  An airplane pet fever saying, you know what, the lights don't aim right anymore. So I'm trying to sleep, the person next to me got a, got a reading thing, but that light's hitting me in the eyes. Why, why is his light hitting me in the fucking eyes?

• 1:08:38Speaker 04

  It's got a lazy eye.

• 1:08:41Mark Normand?

  Easy Greg.

• 1:08:44Mark Normand?

  Close to home there.

• 1:08:47Speaker 03

  I hate that. I hate that a lot.

• 1:08:48Mark Normand?

  That's a good one. That's a good one.

• 1:08:50Speaker 04

  I hate trying to watch an in-flight movie, because you're always like, oh, you know, I got one on my phone, but I can now watch it on the screen, I'll do that. And then, on your left, you can see the gra-

• 1:09:01Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 1:09:01Speaker 04

  And then it freezes.

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  It's always a pivotal scene.

• 1:09:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:04Sam Morril?

  Someone posted recently, they were watching, I forget who it was, but someone posted, uh, it was literally the scene where Joe Pesci's about to get murdered.

• 1:09:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:11Sam Morril?

  In Goodfellas, and it was like, you've been interrupted by your pilot. You're just watching the gun up.

• 1:09:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:09:18Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:09:19Speaker 03

  They, they don't censor the movies anymore. In the other-

• 1:09:21Sam Morril?

  No.

• 1:09:22Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:09:22Mark Normand?

  No, it's all out there.

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  You watch people full on fucking-

• 1:09:24Speaker 03

  Straight up fucking, this kid's watching like Basic Instinct on, on Delta Plus or something.

• 1:09:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:30Mark Normand?

  Remember this?

• 1:09:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:33Sam Morril?

  Kind of a fun movie, actually.

• 1:09:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:35Sam Morril?

  All the nudity aside, it's still kind of fun.

• 1:09:37Mark Normand?

  Wayne Knight.

• 1:09:38Speaker 06

  Uh, Greg, you remember Plane Rise, where everyone would watch the same movie?

• 1:09:41Mark Normand?

  Yes, we used to be the country.

• 1:09:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:09:44Mark Normand?

  Communal.

• 1:09:46Speaker 06

  And you'd have to all watch the same movie.

• 1:09:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:48Speaker 04

  Well, did you see when the Knicks won, the reaction on the flight?

• 1:09:51Speaker 03

  That was cool.

• 1:09:51Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:09:52Speaker 04

  Because everybody had it streaming on their screens, and the fucking flight went bananas.

• 1:09:57Mark Normand?

  Wow. If you muted that and put 9/11 footage, the same thing.

• 1:10:04Sam Morril?

  You're not that big a fan, though, if you're flying during that game. Cause there's a chance you wouldn't have a fucking, there's a chance you wouldn't have a TV and if you're willing to take that.

• 1:10:12Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 1:10:14Speaker 03

  A lot of old school New Yorkers do not like the sort of bandwagoners. I'm like, you know, bad bitches are at the show, like, yeah, girls are hot, they're hanging out. Not you, I'm saying, I'm saying like, it's fun when girls are into the stuff, you know?

• 1:10:25Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 1:10:26Speaker 03

  I like, I like the vibe.

• 1:10:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, also the streets are full.

• 1:10:29Sam Morril?

  I'm happy, I'm happy at how much Nick's, this is like a little like weird utopia I'm living in right now. We're just, everyone's walking down the street in Nick's stuff and I was like, oh my God, I thought I'd never see the day.

• 1:10:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, people are licking toes out here.

• 1:10:40Speaker 05

  We're so, we're so different. We're so different. I'm like outraged. I see girls with pink Red Sox hats on and I want to just smack them in the face. Get the fuck out of here. Get out of here. No, I was just trolling Caitlyn on that one, but you know what I mean?

• 1:10:55Speaker 03

  I'll never wear a Red Sox hat. A Hawk Road means nothing to you.

• 1:10:59Speaker 05

  No, this is my pet peeve is on this stuff. You can, you can enjoy the Nick, hey, I moved to New York, uh, you don't get a carousel post and to march at the parade.

• 1:11:09Sam Morril?

  This is just stock.

• 1:11:10Speaker 05

  From fucking Baltimore.

• 1:11:14Speaker 05

  Or many other people. I love Stavi, I love, he's a great guy and to go to your house, give you a hug. I texted you, congrats buddy. But I, this idea of like, well, I loved the Bucks six months ago, but today I'm gonna do a carousel. And by the way, you go to the comments and there's plenty of people lighting them up with the same.

• 1:11:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:11:33Speaker 05

  Someone's like, you wrote three paragraphs to say you're a bandwagon fan and there's a few others like that.

• 1:11:37Speaker 03

  A pet peeve is a human being is.

• 1:11:40Mark Normand?

  We've been grouped, you know, Jews.

• 1:11:42Speaker 05

  I'm just saying, like, you gotta, if you weren't a fan as a child.

• 1:11:48Sam Morril?

  Well, he was in Baltimore, so we didn't have a team. So I, I'm with you, like, but he is, and then when I had a show on MSG, you, you had a role in that show, so did he.

• 1:11:57Speaker 05

  Oh, the TV, the channel. I see what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you meant the Madison Square Garden. I was like, I didn't do that show.

• 1:12:04Mark Normand?

  And we've gone to some games with Staub.

• 1:12:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:06Mark Normand?

  So, yeah.

• 1:12:07Sam Morril?

  Staub is a Ravens guy, huge Ravens guy. So if you're a super fan of one team, I kind of respect you.

• 1:12:12Speaker 05

  Now, how do you feel about Ari Shaffir is a Yankees and Cowboys fan from Maryland?

• 1:12:17Sam Morril?

  I didn't know he was a Cowboys fan.

• 1:12:18Mark Normand?

  It's a little cheating.

• 1:12:19Speaker 04

  I went to a Cowboys game in Dallas with him one time.

• 1:12:21Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:12:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, he went fucking crazy.

• 1:12:23Sam Morril?

  I don't trust, I just don't trust people with those allegiances because you just grew up picking the best. So it's like, you're gonna fuck, I, I, that's like, you're gonna fuck someone over at some point.

• 1:12:32Speaker 04

  It feels like Dallas, though, is their America's team. And I do feel like there was a certain time where, you know, Roger Staubach, and it just was a team that the country came together for. And I kind of feel like it's like that with the Knicks right now.

• 1:12:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:47Speaker 04

  And people don't like to like New York teams, but they have.

• 1:12:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:50Speaker 04

  And it's funny that like, somebody like you who, you know, proselytizes about their team, the Knicks are great, Knicks are great. And then too many people like you, and you go, nah, it's fucking, you're not allowed to like.

• 1:13:01Sam Morril?

  I don't feel, he feels that way. I don't feel that. I think, I think if it makes you happy, I'm happy that this is what it takes to get you into basketball. I'm okay with it because I love it. So I love that other people are getting into it. But, uh, yeah, I mean, this team, like, it definitely feels better when you suffer, you know?

• 1:13:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:17Sam Morril?

  When this hit, but it almost hit too hard. Like, this 10 weeks for me was like, what the fuck?

• 1:13:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:23Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:13:24Sam Morril?

  It was the biggest nut ever. That when I finally, that when it was released, I was just like, uh, uh.

• 1:13:31Sam Morril?

  I didn't know how to conduct myself. I was like, I, I don't know. That post-nut Knicks clarity. It was crazy. You know?

• 1:13:38Speaker 05

  What's crazy, though, is then you feel, you feel that way and you're like, nothing can ever, and then the next April, round one, game one, you're like, fuck you, you motherfucker. You're like, you just won. Goes out the window. But it just comes back.

• 1:13:50Sam Morril?

  I'll let you know. I'll let you know, probably.

• 1:13:51Speaker 05

  It comes back.

• 1:13:52Sam Morril?

  You're all Boston.

• 1:13:54Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I got no respect for these other.

• 1:13:59Speaker 03

  But Boston's always the most like intense about their.

• 1:14:02Mark Normand?

  Philly's up there.

• 1:14:03Speaker 03

  Philly's up there. Uh, I grew up in Dallas, so it was a big Cowboys town. Uh, but Mavs, I was there when Nowitzki won.

• 1:14:11Speaker 05

  That was an awesome.

• 1:14:11Speaker 03

  And it was crazy. It was the first time people were outside in Dallas.

• 1:14:14Speaker 05

  They were down, they were down 02, weren't they?

• 1:14:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:17Sam Morril?

  Down 02 and, and Dirk had already lost to that Heat team. And people say that's the heaviest ring ever because he had to go through like Kobe, the OKC with Durant and Wes Burden Harden. And then he fucking took down the, the Heedles, the LeBron Heat.

• 1:14:29Speaker 03

  And they were evil. LeBron was evil back then. He was like a young hater and, yeah, Dirk was sick the first game. They were like.

• 1:14:36Sam Morril?

  And they mocked him.

• 1:14:37Speaker 03

  Mocked him. And that was like the whole world came on our side.

• 1:14:41Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:14:42Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 1:14:42Sam Morril?

  They were so likable that man.

• 1:14:43Speaker 03

  It was great. It was great.

• 1:14:44Sam Morril?

  They were.

• 1:14:44Mark Normand?

  Was that Mark Cuban out there too?

• 1:14:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:14:48Speaker 03

  Uh, great team.

• 1:14:49Speaker 05

  Well, that's a good, the, I had this experience, but then also everyone turns you like the Patriots in 2001, 2002 Super Bowl. The whole world was rooting for them. As it was post nine 11, they were the underdogs. Rookie quarterback, the Rams had already won. It was this nine 11 thing. And so the world. Why could they took off in Boston? Hilarious.

• 1:15:09Speaker 03

  What's that?

• 1:15:09Mark Normand?

  Cause the planes took off in Boston, people were.

• 1:15:11Speaker 05

  No, you dummy, cause they're the Patriots.

• 1:15:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but.

• 1:15:14Speaker 05

  Red, white and blue Patriots. No, no, everybody was rooting for, America was rooting for them. They were an underdog. We'd just been attacked. The Rams.

• 1:15:22Mark Normand?

  They're in America.

• 1:15:22Speaker 05

  Pipe down if you don't know the second team, but the Patriots, patriotic patriot, you dummy.

• 1:15:28Sam Morril?

  And the Rams already won one, right?

• 1:15:30Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:15:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I hear you.

• 1:15:31Speaker 05

  They're the Patriots.

• 1:15:35Speaker 05

  You're missing the point here.

• 1:15:38Speaker 03

  Look at Tom Brady's feet or something.

• 1:15:39Sam Morril?

  Do something about from Logan.

• 1:15:42Mark Normand?

  One of the places. Plastic mugs again.

• 1:15:45Speaker 05

  I just can't believe this isn't getting through. The Patriots, red, white and blue.

• 1:15:49Sam Morril?

  I gotta pee.

• 1:15:50Mark Normand?

  All right, we gotta pee.

• 1:15:51Speaker 05

  Here we go. I thought you said you have to pee.

• 1:15:53Sam Morril?

  That too.

• 1:15:54Mark Normand?

  He always, he peed three times already.

• 1:15:56Sam Morril?

  He peed like crazy, but that's another reason I go to that parade. I need a, I need a bathroom nearby. I need access to pee.

• 1:16:02Speaker 05

  I remember we went to the movies together and you and I both went to the piss like three times. You made me feel better about my life. I was like, I think I have cancer, prostate cancer. And you're like 10 years younger than me and you peed like twice as much. And I was like, I'm good. Yeah, true.

• 1:16:16Speaker 03

  I'm a big movie pisser.

• 1:16:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:16:18Speaker 03

  One time I was watching Black Swan, they filmed the, so I, all dude friends were watching it because we heard about the scene, right? And then I go to piss, I come back, dude, you missed the bucket. I missed the eating out scene. It was one bathroom breaks worth of time.

• 1:16:32Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 1:16:32Speaker 03

  Was that scene.

• 1:16:33Sam Morril?

  Get on it, get the crap.

• 1:16:35Speaker 03

  I come back, dude, you fucking.

• 1:16:36Speaker 05

  You know, there's a website that does this. They watch the movie and then they post the best time to piss.

• 1:16:41Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 1:16:41Speaker 05

  I forget the name of the website, but yeah.

• 1:16:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, best time to piss?

• 1:16:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:44Mark Normand?

  Not the nudes.

• 1:16:45Speaker 02

  I thought, yeah, I thought it was gonna be Dr. Skye or whatever.

• 1:16:47Speaker 05

  No, no, when you can piss without missing anything.

• 1:16:49Mark Normand?

  Wow, that's great.

• 1:16:50Speaker 05

  Sorry, I want to hear your peeve. I got excited about us peeing.

• 1:16:52Sam Morril?

  It's movie related, actually. When you're seeing someone and they're just fucking tough with it, like you can't find a middle ground on movies. And I'm pretty easy, but she's hit me with like three gay movies in a row and I'm like, I could do one.

• 1:17:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:17:04Sam Morril?

  I can't do only gay movies. So now, to like, now I don't know what the equivalent is for women, but I'm like trying to get revenge with my picks. So I'm picking like Seagal movies, just to throw her. I don't even really enjoy these movies. I'm just trying to get back at her the only way I can.

• 1:17:17Speaker 03

  Actually.

• 1:17:18Speaker 05

  By the way, give me her number. I'll, I'll watch gay movies all day.

• 1:17:21Speaker 03

  I'll just piss in.

• 1:17:22Sam Morril?

  I can do one. I just can't do only gay.

• 1:17:24Mark Normand?

  What are we talking, Brokeback, Call Me By Your Name?

• 1:17:26Sam Morril?

  I've seen Brokeback. No, it was a single man, which was like, it's a good movie, but I.

• 1:17:30Mark Normand?

  I don't know, Single Man.

• 1:17:31Speaker 05

  What about Stranger By The Lake?

• 1:17:32Mark Normand?

  No, that's very gay.

• 1:17:34Sam Morril?

  Don't give my ideas.

• 1:17:36Speaker 05

  Dude, no, but if you show her this movie, it's, it's super gay, but it's an amazing, we watched it on our Patreon. It's a great, great movie, but it's like, it's like pulling out and coming on the guy gay.

• 1:17:46Mark Normand?

  You're watching it like that.

• 1:17:48Sam Morril?

  Oh, it's gay.

• 1:17:48Speaker 05

  Have you seen it, Kay?

• 1:17:49Speaker 04

  When I was 15, we used to go to this mall in White Plains, you know, the gallery and mall in White Plains? It was like where every kid in Westchester would kind of converge on the weekends. So me and my buddy Sneaky Pete smoked some tie sticks.

• 1:18:00Speaker 05

  Sneaky Pete.

• 1:18:01Speaker 04

  And then we meet these two girls from Yonkers and we're 15 years old and we go, do you guys want to like go see a movie? So we go to the movie theater and the next movie playing was a film called Cruising with Al Pacino. So we walk in and we, we have no fucking idea what it is. We just know it's Al Pacino. So we sit.

• 1:18:21Sam Morril?

  This sounds like one tough movie.

• 1:18:23Speaker 04

  It's about, it's about guys in leather cruising and fucking each other up the, and so we watched the first gay scene, and me and Sneaky Pete go, we gotta go to the bathroom, and we just fucking bailed. And these two 50-year-old girls are just sitting alone in a movie theater.

• 1:18:41Mark Normand?

  Classic Sneaky Pete.

• 1:18:44Sam Morril?

  I love that you're wearing that hat and have a friend named Sneaky Pete.

• 1:18:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:47Sam Morril?

  That took us all back.

• 1:18:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:49Mark Normand?

  On paper, this movie sounds great. Cruisin's a cool word, and it's Pacino. Look, he looks tough.

• 1:18:54Speaker 04

  I thought it was about cars.

• 1:18:56Speaker 05

  It's not a good movie.

• 1:18:56Speaker 04

  I only know the first nine minutes.

• 1:18:58Sam Morril?

  Okay, I gotta watch.

• 1:18:59Mark Normand?

  It bombed in the theaters.

• 1:19:00Speaker 05

  It's silly.

• 1:19:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:01Sam Morril?

  I loved the Palma, dude. Pacino has a couple of gay roles. He was never above it, right? He did Doggy Afternoon, where he was trying to get the money for surgery.

• 1:19:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, true, true.

• 1:19:09Sam Morril?

  Uh, the cowboy one, Gigolo? That's a sneaky gay.

• 1:19:12Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:19:12Sam Morril?

  A Sneaky Pete type of sneaky gay. Doggy is a sneaky gay. Sneaky skeet.

• 1:19:19Mark Normand?

  Sneaky dick.

• 1:19:19Speaker 05

  Sarah and I saw The Master in the theater, and there was a bunch, there was like a family of black people behind us, and then there's a scene where everyone's just naked, like full nudity, and they're dancing around, just dicks everywhere, and they all got up there, "No, hell no. No way. No way."

• 1:19:33Sam Morril?

  Why would, why would, that would even be billed as a black family movie? Like, why would they even?

• 1:19:36Speaker 05

  I think this is long enough ago that people just went to movies. Whoa, I'm looking at somebody's pub.

• 1:19:41Mark Normand?

  Richard Gere, which I think he should have fluffed. I, I watched that when I was a kid even. I was like, oh, he fucked up.

• 1:19:46Speaker 05

  It looks severed, doesn't it?

• 1:19:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:48Sam Morril?

  Well, it didn't tell about Terrence Howard either, like, you know.

• 1:19:51Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:19:51Sam Morril?

  It won't, he has a small one.

• 1:19:52Mark Normand?

  Pull up, pull up Howard.

• 1:19:54Sam Morril?

  Wasn't Terrence Howard, uh?

• 1:19:56Speaker 06

  Terrence Howard penis?

• 1:19:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:57Mark Normand?

  I'm sure it's better than, uh, Gere.

• 1:19:58Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, what's the biggest schlong shot in a movie?

• 1:20:01Speaker 02

  Anything from Any Given Sunday.

• 1:20:03Sam Morril?

  Fake work, fake. Oh, yeah, the dicks in Any Given Sunday.

• 1:20:05Speaker 02

  Any Given Sunday, they're.

• 1:20:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:20:08Sam Morril?

  It's rough.

• 1:20:09Mark Normand?

  Wow. No wonder he's out of movies.

• 1:20:11Sam Morril?

  Fuck.

• 1:20:12Mark Normand?

  He has, he never worked again.

• 1:20:13Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 1:20:14Mark Normand?

  It's hard out here for a pimp.

• 1:20:16Sam Morril?

  It looks like a pug's nose.

• 1:20:18Speaker 02

  Right, me.

• 1:20:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's rough.

• 1:20:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, man.

• 1:20:21Speaker 04

  He doesn't care his balls. That's a bad song.

• 1:20:24Mark Normand?

  Who's that behind you?

• 1:20:25Sam Morril?

  A grower, you don't know, but like, yeah.

• 1:20:26Speaker 02

  No one grows that much.

• 1:20:29Speaker 03

  It's a, it's a clit.

• 1:20:30Mark Normand?

  Also do a sit up or something. Right out of there. He's so smooth.

• 1:20:35Speaker 02

  Yikes.

• 1:20:36Mark Normand?

  So shiny and smooth.

• 1:20:37Speaker 02

  It gets lost in the bush.

• 1:20:39Speaker 03

  He's a real actor. That's a real actor.

• 1:20:40Mark Normand?

  He's a great actor.

• 1:20:41Speaker 03

  I am an actor.

• 1:20:41Speaker 02

  I thank God he's good at something.

• 1:20:44Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:20:45Mark Normand?

  Holy moly.

• 1:20:46Speaker 05

  Huey Lewis is gonna be.

• 1:20:48Sam Morril?

  No, any given Sunday locker room scene.

• 1:20:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:20:51Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:20:52Speaker 02

  That's one where you go, oh.

• 1:20:52Speaker 03

  I know, I'm giving you ammo to serve. What about Barry, Barry Cogan in Saltburn? Was that his real dick?

• 1:20:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I wasn't that impressed. Everybody's like, he's got a huge hog. I was like, eh, it's a normal hog.

• 1:21:02Sam Morril?

  Well, he's six eight, so maybe it's like.

• 1:21:05Mark Normand?

  Barry Cogan?

• 1:21:05Sam Morril?

  Oh, they said Hulk Hogan.

• 1:21:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, no, no, Barry Cogan. I think he's five seven.

• 1:21:10Speaker 05

  Saltburn penis.

• 1:21:11Sam Morril?

  At the end of, uh.

• 1:21:13Mark Normand?

  You know, that was a riff.

• 1:21:13Sam Morril?

  He's dicking around, yeah.

• 1:21:15Mark Normand?

  That, that fucking the grave scene was a ad lib.

• 1:21:18Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 1:21:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:18Speaker 03

  You fucking the grave?

• 1:21:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, that was him being like.

• 1:21:21Sam Morril?

  I should be impressed by that.

• 1:21:22Mark Normand?

  I know, I know. That was not in the script and they just kept it.

• 1:21:25Sam Morril?

  Have you guys seen Obsession?

• 1:21:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:21:27Sam Morril?

  I'm gonna.

• 1:21:28Speaker 03

  I liked it.

• 1:21:28Mark Normand?

  It's fun.

• 1:21:29Speaker 03

  I thought it was really fun.

• 1:21:29Mark Normand?

  It's fun.

• 1:21:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, it makes no sense, but it's really fun.

• 1:21:31Speaker 04

  Do they make it for like less than a million dollars?

• 1:21:33Speaker 03

  Seven hundred and fifty K and it's, and it's broken over three hundred, right?

• 1:21:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 1:21:38Speaker 04

  That's good for people that are trying to make indie films.

• 1:21:40Mark Normand?

  You better believe it.

• 1:21:41Speaker 03

  Guys who are making stuff on Instagram.

• 1:21:42Mark Normand?

  Hey now. We're trying, we're shooting in October.

• 1:21:46Speaker 05

  So that's not trying.

• 1:21:47Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 1:21:47Speaker 05

  That's doing.

• 1:21:49Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:21:50Speaker 05

  That's not trying to make a movie.

• 1:21:52Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:21:52Speaker 05

  You're making a movie.

• 1:21:53Mark Normand?

  We're making a movie.

• 1:21:54Speaker 03

  Amazing. Call sheets are coming out and stuff?

• 1:21:55Sam Morril?

  We're working on it.

• 1:21:56Mark Normand?

  We're getting there. Slow down. I've never heard of a call sheet.

• 1:22:00Mark Normand?

  Is that that prop bet website, Calchy?

• 1:22:05Speaker 05

  No, Obsession was fun and funny and scary. It was great.

• 1:22:08Mark Normand?

  I enjoyed it. The acting was great. The girl was amazing.

• 1:22:10Speaker 05

  And I appreciate that the director came out and was like, it's massive plot hole. It doesn't hold up. It doesn't make sense.

• 1:22:15Mark Normand?

  Thank God.

• 1:22:16Speaker 05

  It's good, which is good.

• 1:22:17Mark Normand?

  It is good, cause there's a lot of them.

• 1:22:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:22:19Speaker 04

  I just saw the new Spielberg movie two nights ago.

• 1:22:23Speaker 03

  Disclosure.

• 1:22:24Speaker 04

  It's, it's so fun. I didn't hate it. I, I thought, I thought it was fine, you know, but. Thing about Spielberg is he's made the greatest alien movies of all time. And then the fucking alien comes out at the end and he's got a skinny body and long fingers and a big fucking oval. Like the same alien as every movie since the nineteen fifty.

• 1:22:46Speaker 05

  Sounds like kind of a hot body, if you ask me.

• 1:22:50Mark Normand?

  Pull up the alien? I wanna see this guy.

• 1:22:52Speaker 05

  I hated the movie. I was at the premiere and he spoke and everything, but that movie was so silly.

• 1:22:56Mark Normand?

  It's a different alien.

• 1:22:59Mark Normand?

  All right, you gonna even quill up his feet too?

• 1:23:03Speaker 02

  What kind of dick would he have?

• 1:23:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, that guy's got a crazy hog, I'm sure. You think so?

• 1:23:07Speaker 03

  But it would never be big enough.

• 1:23:09Speaker 02

  It would never be big enough?

• 1:23:10Sam Morril?

  Brunson's got a bigger hog.

• 1:23:12Speaker 03

  Strong, earthy.

• 1:23:14Mark Normand?

  Nice, healthy, heterosexual conversation.

• 1:23:18Speaker 06

  Obsession?

• 1:23:19Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:23:19Speaker 06

  The art director came out, she said Emily made $10,000 on this.

• 1:23:23Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:23:24Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:23:24Mark Normand?

  Well, it's a low-budget movie.

• 1:23:26Speaker 06

  I know, but she was like, I think I deserve a bonus.

• 1:23:28Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:23:29Speaker 03

  She made the deal before, I guess, huh?

• 1:23:30Speaker 06

  She did.

• 1:23:31Speaker 03

  Shit.

• 1:23:32Speaker 06

  And the director responded, and he said, "The people who got money back were the people that risked money upfront."

• 1:23:38Mark Normand?

  Woo, that's fair.

• 1:23:40Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 1:23:40Speaker 06

  You were sort of a day player.

• 1:23:41Speaker 03

  You were a contractor.

• 1:23:41Mark Normand?

  That's fair.

• 1:23:42Speaker 06

  A contractor, yeah. You think that's fair?

• 1:23:43Mark Normand?

  I think it's fair.

• 1:23:44Speaker 03

  I think it's fair.

• 1:23:45Speaker 05

  Well, is that, is it standard for movies, for the art director to get a percentage of the movie? I've never heard of that in my life.

• 1:23:52Speaker 03

  It is a standard thing, yeah.

• 1:23:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, I've never heard of that.

• 1:23:53Speaker 04

  Usually with a, with a limited release, which is probably, SAG-AFTRA will make a limited release deal with everybody. And I know the actors in success get more money. Like, you accept lower-than-scale because it's low-budget, but then it, it goes up as the movie makes money.

• 1:24:09Mark Normand?

  Nicholson did that on Batman and made a fortune.

• 1:24:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:12Mark Normand?

  On the back end.

• 1:24:12Speaker 03

  I think he still gets paid from Batman movies.

• 1:24:14Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:24:16Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 1:24:16Mark Normand?

  He's not dead.

• 1:24:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, still very much alive.

• 1:24:19Speaker 03

  Nicholson, no, he looks rough.

• 1:24:21Mark Normand?

  He does.

• 1:24:22Sam Morril?

  He's not looking great.

• 1:24:22Mark Normand?

  He's been doing both for 58 years.

• 1:24:24Speaker 03

  I think he's 90, dude. He might.

• 1:24:26Mark Normand?

  Pull it up!

• 1:24:26Speaker 03

  89, maybe. He's up there.

• 1:24:28Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:24:29Mark Normand?

  Let's take a bet.

• 1:24:29Speaker 03

  I saw that one rom-com recently, he was in, As Good As It Gets.

• 1:24:32Speaker 02

  Oh, it's great.

• 1:24:33Speaker 03

  Wow, loved it.

• 1:24:34Mark Normand?

  89!

• 1:24:35Speaker 04

  Oscar.

• 1:24:36Speaker 03

  Really good. I did tell you one movie, dude.

• 1:24:38Mark Normand?

  Great movie.

• 1:24:39Speaker 03

  Never heard of it. I was like, this is fun and different.

• 1:24:42Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:24:42Speaker 03

  And the script isn't normal. It's like, unique. I was like...

• 1:24:45Mark Normand?

  You make me want to be a better man.

• 1:24:50Speaker 05

  Nicholson was kind of older when he really broke.

• 1:24:52Speaker 06

  That's true. Um, so, Joe List.

• 1:24:55Speaker 05

  Yes?

• 1:24:56Speaker 06

  We do this thing on this pod called Working on Any Bits.

• 1:24:59Mark Normand?

  Well, we gotta go in a minute.

• 1:25:00Speaker 06

  All right.

• 1:25:00Mark Normand?

  There's 17 people in the room.

• 1:25:02Speaker 06

  We've got, there are all good comics here. Working on any bits, anyone?

• 1:25:04Mark Normand?

  Well, it's gonna be a while, but we didn't get any peeves from everybody else.

• 1:25:08Speaker 05

  I'm working on a bit about how the patriot, the name patriot means a lover of America, somebody that defends America.

• 1:25:16Speaker 04

  My peeve is try to get out of your Microsoft Word contract. Like I found this, I found this place where you can buy Microsoft. Microsoft Word is a fucking annual fee. What? Of like a hundred and fifty dollars a year.

• 1:25:31Mark Normand?

  Is that true?

• 1:25:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, for a piece of simple fucking software.

• 1:25:34Mark Normand?

  I didn't know that.

• 1:25:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, so if you, and then I found a place where you can actually buy it. It's like a little glitch. So I bought it and then I tried to get out of my Microsoft Word. It is impossible. Whoa. They put you into, you know, big companies, they just put you into a circle of hit one, hit five. Then you get somebody and they give you another number. And you go on the website and ask you for serial, I don't have the fucking serial number for my, my, and so that, that's my pet peeve.

• 1:26:03Mark Normand?

  That's cruel. What, what's the payment a month?

• 1:26:07Speaker 04

  It's like fifteen bucks a month.

• 1:26:08Mark Normand?

  Oh shit, that's substantial.

• 1:26:10Speaker 05

  Now you're sounding like Sam.

• 1:26:15Speaker 04

  I'm trying to clean up subscriptions. I have so many.

• 1:26:18Mark Normand?

  They add up.

• 1:26:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:20Speaker 05

  Bobby.

• 1:26:20Sam Morril?

  This is a segment of the podcast, well, that's a bad deal.

• 1:26:25Speaker 05

  Bobby Kelly, you know, what's the sponsor that goes through all your stuff and take your subscriptions?

• 1:26:32Speaker 02

  Rocket.

• 1:26:33Speaker 05

  Rocket Money. Bobby went on, he had eighty-three subscriptions.

• 1:26:40Speaker 02

  I don't know if there was anything, eighty-three things you could subscribe to.

• 1:26:43Speaker 05

  That might not be the exact, it was like something in that ballpark.

• 1:26:46Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:26:47Sam Morril?

  Subscribe to Haribo gummies.

• 1:26:49Speaker 05

  You talk about being an addict. This guy just weighs three hundred and eighty pounds. Can't drink, can't do drugs. He's like, I have ninety subscriptions.

• 1:26:56Mark Normand?

  Home and garden. Wired magazine.

• 1:26:59Speaker 05

  That's so good.

• 1:27:00Mark Normand?

  Highlights.

• 1:27:02Speaker 04

  I have a Patreon for Ralphie May's podcast.

• 1:27:10Speaker 05

  I'm not working on any bits, Matt. I love you though.

• 1:27:12Mark Normand?

  You got a peeve there, uh, Palu?

• 1:27:14Speaker 02

  I got a peeve. I got a peeve. I'm watching the World Cup and I hate it when Americans root for other countries.

• 1:27:18Mark Normand?

  Ooh.

• 1:27:19Speaker 05

  That's what I'm talking about. Now we're talking.

• 1:27:21Speaker 02

  You're American. You can't root for America in the Olympics and then it comes to the World Cup, all of a sudden you're French. Get out of here.

• 1:27:28Mark Normand?

  Here.

• 1:27:29Speaker 05

  What? Who's Stabros rooting for? Greece?

• 1:27:30Speaker 02

  I mean, they're not in it, those fucking...

• 1:27:33Mark Normand?

  To be honest.

• 1:27:34Speaker 02

  Those Hamas lovers. That's a very good one.

• 1:27:36Speaker 04

  What if you're not rooting for America as a country right now?

• 1:27:38Speaker 02

  Doesn't matter. You're American. Okay? Sorry.

• 1:27:41Mark Normand?

  I'm with you.

• 1:27:42Speaker 02

  You want Stinky Pete can get behind America. Get behind Pulisic. Alright, we're gonna do it. We're not gonna win, but we're gonna do very well.

• 1:27:47Sam Morril?

  Even if you're not a hockey person, it was so cool when they won hockey.

• 1:27:50Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 1:27:51Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you gotta get behind you.

• 1:27:52Mark Normand?

  The best.

• 1:27:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:27:53Speaker 02

  Yep. Yeah, these fucking Spanish people. Don't clip that up.

• 1:27:57Mark Normand?

  Clip it.

• 1:28:00Speaker 02

  You know?

• 1:28:01Mark Normand?

  This is a peeve I can get behind.

• 1:28:03Speaker 05

  Wow, madam.

• 1:28:05Sam Morril?

  Well, see, yeah, like, see everybody here on the road, buy tickets, uh, yeah, any quick, uh, website plugs we could do?

• 1:28:11Mark Normand?

  You gotta give them some dates here.

• 1:28:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. Kayla and Palu, I just added a Denver date. Please come to Denver. We just added the Comedy Works on a Thursday.

• 1:28:19Mark Normand?

  When's this coming up?

• 1:28:20Speaker 06

  That's the big room.

• 1:28:21Mark Normand?

  Okay, great.

• 1:28:22Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah? Okay, good. Yeah, Sacramento, we added dates. And then, um, Charleston.

• 1:28:27Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:28:27Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. I might go there, too.

• 1:28:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Raleigh and, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What am I doing in New York?

• 1:28:33Speaker 06

  Raleigh, good night.

• 1:28:33Speaker 02

  Oh, fucking.

• 1:28:34Mark Normand?

  Good club.

• 1:28:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. Good nights. And, um...

• 1:28:37Speaker 06

  Coastal Creative.

• 1:28:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, we added shows in Florida, too. So, please, buy tickets because I have, uh, student loan debt.

• 1:28:45Speaker 05

  Student loan debt?

• 1:28:46Speaker 02

  Oh, Mahoney, she's gonna die with it. Yeah.

• 1:28:48Speaker 05

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:28:49Speaker 02

  So, please buy tickets, come see me live. It's different jokes than what you saw on the show.

• 1:28:52Mark Normand?

  Hey, good for you. I love to hear it.

• 1:28:55Speaker 04

  They're not her jokes, but they're different jokes.

• 1:29:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:00Speaker 05

  She's like, there's black people and there's N-words. Whoa.

• 1:29:07Speaker 03

  What's up, guys? Come to the shows.

• 1:29:10Mark Normand?

  Look at them, sold out. Mamasita.

• 1:29:12Speaker 03

  The one that's not selling has Milwaukee Improv. So if you're in Wisconsin, please come. It's the only one that's really tough. I don't know why.

• 1:29:21Speaker 05

  The Comedy Nest.

• 1:29:22Speaker 03

  Comedy Nest, it's for Off JFL.

• 1:29:24Speaker 05

  You gotta talk to your agent.

• 1:29:26Mark Normand?

  That's a tough room.

• 1:29:27Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 1:29:28Speaker 05

  You're selling out everywhere, you're doing the Nest?

• 1:29:29Speaker 02

  The Nest is fun.

• 1:29:31Speaker 03

  It's the Off JFL, that's what they gave. They literally hand you a- Just come to Brookfield, Wisconsin. That's what I need y'all for.

• 1:29:36Mark Normand?

  I like the photo, you look like a Nickelodeon bully.

• 1:29:40Speaker 03

  Let's go, Connie.

• 1:29:42Speaker 05

  Caitlin responded to Comedy Nest like a bad answer on Family Feud. No, no, it's good, okay.

• 1:29:48Speaker 02

  Steve Harvey, Harvey of bad gigs, yes.

• 1:29:51Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 1:29:53Speaker 05

  I feel bad, you're over time. I'm in Tacoma and Portland, Oregon. Go to Punch Up for my stuff.

• 1:30:00Mark Normand?

  There you go, we're all on Punch Up over here.

• 1:30:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, all on Punch Up.

• 1:30:03Speaker 06

  There you go, Joe, give me some of those.

• 1:30:04Mark Normand?

  Greg? You getting out there?

• 1:30:07Speaker 04

  I'm out there. I don't do a lot in the summer because it's just nobody fucking comes out. But I have dates coming up in...

• 1:30:13Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:30:14Speaker 04

  And you know how they have low-ticket warnings?

• 1:30:16Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:30:16Speaker 04

  I have some high-ticket warnings.

• 1:30:20Speaker 04

  I got... Oh, this is fun.

• 1:30:21Speaker 05

  Wow, brand-new headshot, by the way.

• 1:30:23Speaker 04

  Holy shit, now that's not right. I just don't get it.

• 1:30:28Speaker 05

  Who took that headshot, Ansel Adams?

• 1:30:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, you look like the Riddler. And the old Batman from the 60s.

• 1:30:35Speaker 02

  Wow, you're really leaning into this Irish thing. Holy tarot.

• 1:30:38Speaker 04

  It's my St. Patrick's Day show. I do a St. Patrick's Day show. All right, take this shit down.

• 1:30:47Speaker 04

  My feet are on the next thing.

• 1:30:49Mark Normand?

  What you making us on, DOS?

• 1:30:51Speaker 04

  Pittsburgh, I'm coming up in Pittsburgh. Cincinnati, Columbus, and a couple of dates in LA, Oxnard, whatever. Go to Fitzdog.com, something's there.

• 1:31:05Mark Normand?

  Here, here.

• 1:31:06Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 1:31:07Mark Normand?

  I'm in Cleveland at Hilarities.

• 1:31:09Speaker 05

  I'll join you.

• 1:31:10Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:31:11Sam Morril?

  It was an inside joke.

• 1:31:11Mark Normand?

  Emerald City, uh, Seattle, what was that Tampa? And, uh, doing some show in East Hampton, coming out to that, making a weekend out of it. Cubs in San Francisco. San Francisco. Houston Improv, a lot of tickets there. Party, party. Nashville, come on by Pittsburgh Improv, that's a tough market. And, uh, the list goes on. Thank you. What do you got there?

• 1:31:35Sam Morril?

  Right now, I'm gonna add some stuff, but right now, we just got Lisbon, uh... Woo! Wow, you're cultured, fellas. Budapest, tickets very available in Budapest, holy shit. Zagreb, Vienna, added a show in Warsaw, and then we had Helsinki, uh, Stockholm and Copenhagen. I'll add some American dates very soon.

• 1:31:53Speaker 05

  Have you been to Poland?

• 1:31:54Speaker 02

  You're big in Warsaw, huh?

• 1:31:54Sam Morril?

  I have not been to Poland.

• 1:31:55Speaker 05

  Oh, you do. It's unbelievable.

• 1:31:56Speaker 04

  What's amazing is I heard you're doing it in the native language in each of these.

• 1:32:00Sam Morril?

  I am. It's gonna be fair. It's gonna be a two-minute set. And, uh, no, and buy some Bodega Cat Whiskey, bodeagacatwhiskey.com, great app. Congrats on everything, guys.

• 1:32:09Mark Normand?

  Thank you, guys. Go see him on the road.

• 1:32:11Speaker 05

  Thanks for letting us crash. I hope it's okay.

• 1:32:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, thanks for the pizza. Chilling.

• 1:32:14Speaker 05

  Blame Matt if he didn't like it.

• 1:32:16Mark Normand?

  All right, sneaky Pete.