Thomas Lennon w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

Thomas Lennon joins Mark and Sam for a hilarious deep dive into Hollywood, comedy, and some unbelievable celebrity stories. They talk about visiting Eddie Murphy's house, the origins of Reno 911!, Broadway adaptations, Dennis Rodman, Matthew Perry, Night at the Museum, audition heartbreak, YouTube's takeover of entertainment, and why Bob Fosse somehow becomes the running theme of the entire episode. Sponsored by: Order now at https://drinkwillies.com and use code WMBD for 20% off of your first order + free shipping on orders over $95, and enjoy life in the high country. To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/DRUNK. Text DRUNK to 64000 for 20% off all IQBAR products + FREE shipping Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #ThomasLennon #MarkNormand #SamMorril #Reno911 #NightAtTheMuseum #ComedyPodcast #standupcomedy 00:00 Promoting Projects & Trading Places Musical 03:01 Writing Highlights and Hollywood Connections 10:00 Stories about Eddie Murphy & Hollywood Security 16:00 Comedy Musicals & The State’s Origins 23:00 Stage, SNL, and Broadway Talk 30:00 Classic Comedy Albums & Cult Sketch Shows 35:00 Living in Wisconsin & Life by the Lake 40:00 Rumors, Urban Legends, and Broadway Musings 46:00 Basketball Legends & ’90s Bulls vs Knicks 53:00 Working with Celebrities & TV Auditions 01:00:00 Showbiz Realities: Auditions, Setbacks & Success 01:07:00 Streaming, YouTube vs Netflix, and Comedy Shifts 01:14:00 Career Highlights, Reno 911! & Pitching TV 01:21:00 Residuals, Side Hustles, and Closing Plugs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Sam Morril?

  So you're in town promoting a new David Wayne movie?

• 0:09Speaker 01

  I was actually in town. I also wrote a musical.

• 0:14Sam Morril?

  Trading Places?

• 0:15Speaker 01

  I wrote the musical Trading Places.

• 0:16Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 0:17Sam Morril?

  You're like, you have a sweet writing resume.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  I do a lot of stuff.

• 0:22Mark Normand?

  What made you want to...

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Class. Yeah, we took the song by Usher and we made it into... There you go. Shit. You guys just have everything. You can just look at everything as it comes up.

• 0:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah!

• 0:34Sam Morril?

  This is the future, man.

• 0:35Speaker 01

  I know both those guys. Actually, I know all... I know three out of four of those guys.

• 0:39Sam Morril?

  Which, who do you not know?

• 0:40Speaker 01

  The only one I don't know is Ackroyd.

• 0:41Mark Normand?

  What?

• 0:42Sam Morril?

  You know Eddie Murphy?

• 0:43Speaker 01

  I've been to Eddie's house.

• 0:44Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Are we going or are we...

• 0:46Sam Morril?

  We're going.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  Oh, we're already going?

• 0:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  Oh, shit. I didn't know we were going. I would've puffed up my cheeks and stuff. Yeah, I got to go to Eddie Murphy's house one time. It was very cool.

• 0:54Mark Normand?

  What? Do tell!

• 0:55Speaker 01

  All right, uh, what do you want to know?

• 0:57Mark Normand?

  Was it a party? Was it at Thanksgiving?

• 0:59Speaker 01

  No, no, no. It was just a little quiet hangout.

• 1:01Sam Morril?

  Just you two?

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Getting some notes on a script that never happened.

• 1:04Mark Normand?

  Whoa, Norbit 2?

• 1:05Speaker 01

  It was... Obviously, it was Norbit 2, which did happen.

• 1:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, it did?

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Didn't it?

• 1:10Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:10Mark Normand?

  I was joking.

• 1:11Speaker 01

  Isn't Norbit just a spin-off of Nutty Professor Show on the Board?

• 1:14Sam Morril?

  No, no. He's just being big again, I think.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  How much do I get if I win all the questions?

• 1:17Sam Morril?

  You get a glass of red wine.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  Wait, how is a picture of Eddie Murphy's house?

• 1:20Mark Normand?

  Oh, there it is. Wow!

• 1:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was in the dock. I've never seen a photograph of it.

• 1:24Mark Normand?

  It's like a resort.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  All I know is, uh, it is like a resort. And I think they got, you know, like, heating a pool that big?

• 1:30Sam Morril?

  Damn. It's like Epstein without the guilt.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  Guys, this is great. Can you imagine heating a pool that big?

• 1:34Sam Morril?

  I mean...

• 1:35Speaker 01

  These are Norbit problems.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  Uh, I don't know. Okay, that seems like it's right. I was not invited to the pool area to like splash around or anything.

• 1:44Mark Normand?

  Ouch.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  I was kind of there working.

• 1:46Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  Thirty-two million.

• 1:48Mark Normand?

  Thirty-two. No, that's very low. That's not it.

• 1:49Sam Morril?

  What was the script you were working on?

• 1:51Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 1:52Mark Normand?

  Can you say?

• 1:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can say. It never, it never happened. We were writing, uh, a version of The Incredible Shrinking Man.

• 1:59Mark Normand?

  Ah!

• 2:00Speaker 01

  For Eddie. It was a remake of the old idea for Eddie. And the idea was that he was a Vegas... You're not gonna cross through frame with this?

• 2:08Mark Normand?

  Thank you. Your love handles are really killing me. Good lord, that belt is ruined.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  Um, it's not the worst wine I've ever smelled, but.

• 2:16Sam Morril?

  Joel McHale's wine?

• 2:17Speaker 01

  Joel McHale's wine. Joel McHale's, uh, Joel McHale's a wine enthusiast.

• 2:21Mark Normand?

  I didn't know that.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  Of the highest order. McHale's, yeah. Uh, McHale's a, uh, expert on wine. You must know that, right?

• 2:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, he's good.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  So, we were working on a, um...

• 2:29Sam Morril?

  It's pretty good.

• 2:31Speaker 01

  If it's from McHale, it's gonna be good. I play his brother on a show we don't have to plug.

• 2:35Mark Normand?

  The, the animal control.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 2:37Mark Normand?

  Ding ding ding.

• 2:38Speaker 01

  Ding ding ding.

• 2:39Sam Morril?

  And Mike Lowland's on that show too. Mike Lowland from the, uh, comedy cell.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  Very funny dude. I like that guy a lot.

• 2:44Mark Normand?

  Cute kid.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  He's a very cute kid.

• 2:46Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  He's a real cute kid.

• 2:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  We're not gonna talk about the big, the man just dressed in my outfit?

• 2:51Mark Normand?

  Well, it's, uh, a lot.

• 2:52Speaker 01

  Let's address it.

• 2:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah, are, are you flattered? Are you creeped out? What's the feeling?

• 2:56Speaker 01

  I like it a lot.

• 2:57Mark Normand?

  I would wear that if you bought me one.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  So, we're out at Eddie's house. We get out to Eddie's house. To get to Eddie's house, to, for starters, there's a, there's like a gate like Jurassic Park.

• 3:07Mark Normand?

  Uh-huh.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  You know? Like, to keep out of T-Rex or something like that. So, we get to the gate and the guy asks you like, um, he's got his hand on his Glock.

• 3:16Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  The security guy. It's not like lightweight security guys. You know, sometimes there's security guys, like Trader Joe's security or something is like, not a big deal.

• 3:24Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  The, when you go, how were these pictures existing? When you go to Eddie's house, there's a...

• 3:30Mark Normand?

  It's Google Maps or whatever.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  The guys already have their hand on the weapon.

• 3:33Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  And they're like, "What are you doing here?" And you say like, "Oh, I'm going to see Eddie Murphy." And they're like, "Why?"

• 3:40Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like, we're working on, uh...

• 3:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I'm not in a book or something?

• 3:44Speaker 01

  We're, uh, we're working on, uh, we're working on a, a, a version of The Incredible Shrinking Man for him. And they're like, "Do you think that's a good idea?" Hand on a gun. And we're like, "Yeah." And we're like, "He's like a Vegas magician. He's like David Blaine. So, everybody thinks he's doing it as a bit, but it turns out he's been like cursed by a real magician." And they're like, "Okay. If you think that works, we'll let you in."

• 4:04Sam Morril?

  You gotta pitch the security.

• 4:06Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  No, they did ask what we, what was our business with Mr. Murphy?

• 4:10Sam Morril?

  Hmm. Damn.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Good for them. And then you get to Eddie's house, and then there's another gate the size of Jurassic Park.

• 4:15Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  And that one just kinda opens. I don't know how that one opens.

• 4:19Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  And then there's another armed guy, I think, and then the third guy.

• 4:22Sam Morril?

  He's Tony Montana, what a fucking line.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  The third boss, if you're playing like, if it's like final bosses of going into Eddie's house.

• 4:28Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Is Arsenio Hall.

• 4:33Sam Morril?

  As the Jewish guy coming to America.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  There's no way Arsenio Hall's hanging out at Eddie's house, is he? 100% yes.

• 4:39Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Third boss we meet, right before Eddie, was, uh, Arsenio Hall.

• 4:45Mark Normand?

  What are they, did it Sexual Chocolate, remember that, that church group in Trading Places? Is that what it's called?

• 4:50Speaker 01

  That's in, uh, actually, although that does.

• 4:52Mark Normand?

  Coming to America.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Coming to America, although it has two characters from Trading Places. The Duke Brothers reappear.

• 4:57Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  Remember?

• 4:59Mark Normand?

  Mortimer.

• 5:00Sam Morril?

  That's right.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  Mortimer and Randolph show up again.

• 5:03Mark Normand?

  That's funny, I don't.

• 5:03Sam Morril?

  As hobos, right?

• 5:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, and, uh, Eddie gives them like, a pile of riches sometimes.

• 5:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, sitting in a McDonald's bag. We're back. Yeah, a nice little callback in a movie, which is, you don't see anymore.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Can you think of one other movie callback?

• 5:18Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  To a completely different franchise where they reference a completely different movie where a character appears?

• 5:24Mark Normand?

  You got one? I think in, uh.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  I don't know if I have one.

• 5:28Mark Normand?

  Forty Eight Out, no, Beverly Hills.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  Cop?

• 5:31Mark Normand?

  Cop. Not Ninja. They do a shot.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Let's watch them both to find out.

• 5:36Mark Normand?

  Of, uh, him walking by in a leather, a guy walking by in a leather suit, and it's a red leather suit, and Eddie goes.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Oh, it's, uh, it's Delirious.

• 5:43Mark Normand?

  He laughs at them walking down the sidewalk, and I think it's a callback to his special.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, it's a great reference.

• 5:48Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 5:49Sam Morril?

  I would not have gotten that.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  So it seems like most, the, most of the references are Eddie references, Eddie's referencing other Eddie movies.

• 5:54Mark Normand?

  Well, we couldn't get Eddie, so, we gotta talk about him.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  I forgot, there's a guy in a, in a Delirious jumpsuit.

• 5:59Mark Normand?

  Come on.

• 6:00Sam Morril?

  What's the vibe with Eddie when you're, when you're hanging with him?

• 6:02Speaker 01

  Very cool, it was very cool.

• 6:04Mark Normand?

  There it is.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, oh yeah.

• 6:07Mark Normand?

  So he's laughing, look at this, look at these idiots, but he's, he's making fun of himself.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Well, is that not a white dude in the Delirious jumpsuit?

• 6:13Mark Normand?

  It is, maybe that's why he's laughing.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  That's the fun joke of it.

• 6:15Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Oh, it's slightly homophobic.

• 6:21Sam Morril?

  If you think that's homophobic, do not put on his old stand-up.

• 6:25Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 6:25Sam Morril?

  Cause that will fucking, holy shit.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  True, that was very cool, I meant, so you meet Eddie and he comes out and he's very cool.

• 6:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  And I said, uh, I said, uh, it's an honor, you know, I said it like the way you would meet royalty, and Eddie went like, mm-hmm. Correct. Well, you didn't say correct, but the vibe was like, that's the perfect thing to say to me.

• 6:43Mark Normand?

  We went to the Netflix brunch and he was there and he like levitated in and the whole, you know, it's Sandler, Letterman, Seinfeld, all these guys.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  I saw the photo.

• 6:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Yeah. Were you there?

• 6:54Speaker 01

  No, I'm not. I was not at that one.

• 6:55Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  It's interesting because it's.

• 6:58Mark Normand?

  Old Jew.

• 6:59Speaker 03

  This is track listings for Delirious.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  Is that the Delirious?

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:02Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 7:03Mark Normand?

  I don't remember that.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  I don't remember. I don't remember these by the titles.

• 7:07Mark Normand?

  I don't either.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  The titles don't.

• 7:09Mark Normand?

  There's no F-bomb track.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  The titles don't remind me of the bits as much as you would think.

• 7:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Because I know all the bits.

• 7:16Sam Morril?

  I remember hearing this. I mean, I remember consuming stand-up as just like audio as a kid. And it was like, kind of more intimate, kind of cool.

• 7:23Mark Normand?

  It's better. I think it's better.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  There's a couple of records I can do probably the whole record.

• 7:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:28Sam Morril?

  I remember listening to Skank for the Memories as a kid and being like, this is the greatest thing I've ever heard.

• 7:32Mark Normand?

  It's incredible.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  I can do almost all of the best of Bob Newhart if I probably have to.

• 7:36Mark Normand?

  Driving instructor. I tried to get through a Cosby, I fell asleep.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  I can do the, I can do Cosby's, um, Driving in San Francisco.

• 7:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, the windy.

• 7:45Speaker 04

  Somebody put a stop sign at the top of the hill and everything to do. To put, to go to straight in San Francisco called La Barca Street. And somebody put it at stop sign. He just said it with a binoculars. We got another one.

• 8:00Mark Normand?

  Wow, that was a great cause.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  So, if you know one thing about me, I think, it's that my Cosby's. None, there is no equal.

• 8:10Mark Normand?

  Just the later work.

• 8:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can do, uh, I can do most of Bob New, the best of Bob Newhart.

• 8:15Mark Normand?

  Hit me.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Uh, I mean, you know, you could do Abe Lincoln versus Madison Avenue, but it's. Abe, you changed, changed Forrest Gump seven years ago to, to eighty-seven?

• 8:30Speaker 01

  No, no, Abe, see, I, no, I understand that they mean the same thing, but...

• 8:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow! We're gonna get Bob up here.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  If it ever comes up, Abe, you were a rail splitter and, and then an attorney.

• 8:41Mark Normand?

  (laughing)

• 8:42Speaker 01

  You see, nobody quits, nobody quits being an attorney to become a rail splitter, Abe.

• 8:45Mark Normand?

  Whoa, I think that won an Emmy, that, that album.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  I've lost three Emmys, guys.

• 8:49Mark Normand?

  Or a Grammy. What happened?

• 8:51Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 8:51Mark Normand?

  The state?

• 8:52Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, uh, what are they for? Uh, they're, here's, when Reno 911 started getting shorter, we got into a new category, which was like, short form Emmy.

• 9:01Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  We never really got nominated in the nor- normals.

• 9:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 9:06Speaker 01

  You know, in the normals.

• 9:07Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure. It was county central.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  But as soon as we dropped weight, we dropped a ton of weight, and we got into short form.

• 9:13Sam Morril?

  How, how long, what's the minimum, or maximum, rather?

• 9:16Speaker 01

  I think a short form has to be like, under 12 minutes or something.

• 9:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow. Okay, so...

• 9:21Speaker 01

  If you're ever looking to try to get an Emmy, go short form.

• 9:24Mark Normand?

  I didn't know that.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, little secret. It's the same size Emmy, if you get it.

• 9:28Mark Normand?

  Can we talk about the state?

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:30Mark Normand?

  Cause I used to watch that in high school.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:31Sam Morril?

  That's a crazy group of talented people.

• 9:33Mark Normand?

  Crazy group.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Interesting cats.

• 9:35Mark Normand?

  How'd that start, and how'd you get it on MTV?

• 9:38Speaker 01

  That was interesting. So, should I do a plug for the picture here, and then we don't have to plug it again?

• 9:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, here it is, right?

• 9:43Speaker 01

  Alright, we're doing, uh, David Wayne's got a, David, Ken Marino and David Wayne have a picture coming out

• 9:47Mark Normand?

  Uh.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  Called, uh, Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass.

• 9:51Mark Normand?

  Check it out.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Check it out.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  Trailer, is that alright?

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Uh, it's fine by me. Do we just hang out while the trailer plays?

• 9:56Speaker 03

  It's actually short.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  She's great. She's great. That's Carrie Kenny.

• 9:59Sam Morril?

  Oh, okay.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Carrie and I went to theater, can we talk over this as a...

• 10:03Mark Normand?

  Please, please talk over it.

• 10:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah, mute it, just mute.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  Carrie Kenny and I went to theater camp. We met, we were sixteen years old. So I've known Carrie since nineteen eighty-six, eighty-seven.

• 10:14Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, and we've worked basically together, almost, you know, not every day since, but as close to every day since as you could, as you could really do, you know? Because then we did, so, we went to NYU, we did, uh, we were just a regular comedy group called The New Group.

• 10:30Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  And we actually got founded, cause the guy who started our group had been kicked out of a different comedy group.

• 10:35Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:36Speaker 01

  Uh, an NYU called The Sterile Yak.

• 10:39Mark Normand?

  Ha.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  Uh, Todd, who's in the front of that picture there, he founded the state. And then, uh, we were actually, we were called the new group and we were, you know.

• 10:49Mark Normand?

  That's a lot of guys.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  Way too many, way too many. There's eleven members of the state.

• 10:53Mark Normand?

  Whoa. Where's Joe Walter? Oh, there he is, the hat.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  He's there, backwards hat, looking. Look how angry we all look.

• 10:59Mark Normand?

  I know. What's the nineties? It was grunge.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  Well, we're also pretty angry.

• 11:05Mark Normand?

  Man, that guy.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Look how angry Joe looks in the front. We looked just pissed off.

• 11:08Mark Normand?

  Joe's in a ton of movies.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  And we, I would say that we were weirdly, we were a sort of, and we're not angry people, but I think we, we viewed ourselves as, um...

• 11:22Mark Normand?

  Cool?

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think we viewed ourselves as like a sort of a punk band or something. You know, we felt like we were react, like we were reacting to

• 11:32Speaker 01

  sort of what we thought was sort of mainstream sketch that we...

• 11:35Sam Morril?

  What did you look at? You were like, "I don't wanna be."

• 11:37Speaker 01

  We didn't wanna be SNL.

• 11:38Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  That era, for sure. We wanted to not be that.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  In fact, we'd rather, I think the reason, you know, the work holds up, cause we, instead of doing, if we ever did something that felt like it was covered before, we just wouldn't do it.

• 11:52Mark Normand?

  Nice.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  So we just ended up doing, but that's why a lot of the stuff is just sort of, is pretty absurd stuff that we were doing, you know?

• 11:59Mark Normand?

  Well, the nineties had a run of this. It was like this, Kids in the Hall, Mr. Show. It was kind of that, uh...

• 12:05Sam Morril?

  Ben Stiller Show, for a second.

• 12:06Mark Normand?

  Ben Stiller Show, In Living Color, to an extent.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Stiller Show also hit some amazing, have you ever seen Stiller's, uh, true stories about Bruce Springsteen?

• 12:16Mark Normand?

  No.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  It's a fucking great sketch from the Ben Stiller Show. It's always, you know, you hear stories about Springsteen. "Springsteen showed up, he played for four hours, he recobbled my shoes." Like, the stories just keep getting more amazing about, like, he burst through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man. It was a great recurring character.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I'd say, actually, weirdly, those four shows in particular are sort of of a a piece, you know, I mean, I feel like... There's a lot of overlap and sensibility, I know, between Bob and David and, you know. We're all, we're friends with all the kids in the hall at this point in our life.

• 12:52Mark Normand?

  Nice.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  I played Dave Foley. In the, uh, in, um, Kevin from Kids in the Hall has a musical about his life.

• 13:01Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 13:02Speaker 01

  I got to play Dave Foley.

• 13:03Mark Normand?

  Kevin McDonald.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz Dave Foley passed. So I-

• 13:07Mark Normand?

  He did?

• 13:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, he didn't wanna do it.

• 13:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, I thought he died.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no, he passed on the project.

• 13:13Mark Normand?

  Holy shit.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Once you see the project, you're like, oh, I know why Foley passed. He wouldn't play this version of Dave Foley. But I was like, yeah, I'll play that version of Dave Foley, fuck it.

• 13:20Sam Morril?

  Did you ever go out for SNL or no?

• 13:23Speaker 01

  I did not, no. Um, no, I never did.

• 13:26Sam Morril?

  Did you, did any part of you want to, or you always like, fuck that?

• 13:29Speaker 01

  I would've probably loved it, but it just never, never came up. I met Lorne Michaels one time. At like the Village Gate, seeing some other sketch show, but, oh, we were seeing,

• 13:42Speaker 01

  I think a group called Live on Tape. But, um, no, I never went up. I don't know if I would've made it. I've never, I don't have a ton of great impressions, other than my impeccable Bill Cosby.

• 13:53Mark Normand?

  Cosby and Newhart.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  Which, I don't know, that's a Newhart impression, I can just recite it.

• 13:58Mark Normand?

  Uh-huh.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  But, I've never, I don't know how I would've done it at an SNL audition, you know?

• 14:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I think you'd nail it, you're a funny guy.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  Ah, that's not always the full criteria though.

• 14:08Sam Morril?

  You play a good gay guy?

• 14:09Speaker 01

  I do, do, I guess.

• 14:10Sam Morril?

  You get cast as a gay guy a lot.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  I know, that comes up a lot.

• 14:13Sam Morril?

  How do you feel about that?

• 14:14Speaker 01

  It's fine by me, I mean, I just seem, you know, I'm not, I've always been a sort of Bob Fosse enthusiast.

• 14:22Sam Morril?

  I can see that, a little Fosse in there, yeah.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  A little Fosse.

• 14:26Mark Normand?

  He's straight.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  I happen to be, Bob was straight too.

• 14:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, he just sort of seems like me, you know, there's a lot of jazz in his hands.

• 14:31Sam Morril?

  It's like drama straight.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 14:33Mark Normand?

  Drama straight.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  I'm theater schooled.

• 14:36Sam Morril?

  I mean, the whole opening to All That Jazz is just all the women he's banging. That's like a five-minute montage of like, let's get out of here.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  That is the crazy thing about All That Jazz, yeah.

• 14:43Mark Normand?

  Great movie.

• 14:44Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Maybe the best.

• 14:45Sam Morril?

  Maybe the best ending to a movie ever.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  Ever.

• 14:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 14:48Sam Morril?

  Crazy.

• 14:49Mark Normand?

  Good opening too, with the pills.

• 14:50Sam Morril?

  Great opening.

• 14:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  When has anybody else made a movie where they're so- Honest, like, he's right, he's telling you the story of how

• 15:00Sam Morril?

  Dave Foley would have played that version of himself.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  How he's going to die. I know.

• 15:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah, by the way, Michael Jackson stole everything from Fosse. Pull up some of Fosse's moves.

• 15:09Speaker 01

  Don't do that. I just saw that exact

• 15:11Sam Morril?

  And you know what, black people stole from Elvis.

• 15:13Speaker 01

  I saw that exactly.

• 15:15Mark Normand?

  No, I'm serious.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  And it is

• 15:16Mark Normand?

  Watch his moves.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  It is Bob Fosse in a very specific movie, oh, it's the movie of the little prince.

• 15:23Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Oh, there it is, you got it.

• 15:25Mark Normand?

  Look at it, this is Fosse.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  That's Fosse doing little prince stuff.

• 15:28Mark Normand?

  Come on, this is, this is ripping, he's ripping off Fosse completely.

• 15:33Sam Morril?

  I do feel like the type of straight you are though

• 15:35Speaker 01

  I'm not here when this goes viral for you saying

• 15:37Mark Normand?

  I'm calling it, but, look at that, every move.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  He also does flash a lady, which is also pretty weird there.

• 15:43Mark Normand?

  Alright, that's kinda Michael too.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  Look at that, look at Fosse killing this.

• 15:46Mark Normand?

  I mean, that is a

• 15:47Speaker 01

  Maybe I am gay, man, this looks really cool.

• 15:49Sam Morril?

  No, but the type, the type of straight you are gets a lot of women, I think, don't you think?

• 15:53Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Probably in the era.

• 15:55Sam Morril?

  Cause there's like a safety thing, I think that you disarm them with your

• 15:58Speaker 01

  Back in the era?

• 15:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  I don't know, it could, we'll never know.

• 16:03Mark Normand?

  I mean, that's crazy.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  That is crazy.

• 16:05Mark Normand?

  And I'm not the only guy saying it, I'm just

• 16:07Speaker 01

  Is this the first time people talk about, uh, there's a lot of, uh, uh, New York Knicks gear on the show today?

• 16:13Sam Morril?

  They're in the playoffs.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  And we're talking, and we're talking Bob Fosse.

• 16:15Sam Morril?

  We get, we get a lot of range, dude.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  I can talk Bob Fosse with you guys all day long, now are we saying Beyonce stole from Bob Fosse? Cause I do not want to, oh no, she, that's different.

• 16:23Mark Normand?

  That's very different.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  Oh, no, it is not, no.

• 16:25Mark Normand?

  Mexican breakfast.

• 16:26Sam Morril?

  We're men of, we're men of many interests, but I gotta ask a question.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  But mostly Bob Fosse.

• 16:31Sam Morril?

  We love Fosse.

• 16:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:32Mark Normand?

  Fosse man, Fosse bear.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  His birthday is June 23rd, Sam is the day of my son, that's the way I know.

• 16:36Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 16:37Sam Morril?

  Well, so, I know you're buddies with Nick Swartson, so I text him right before and I said, what do I ask him? And he said, he said to ask, what's it like going in character to Comic Con?

• 16:48Mark Normand?

  Whoa, pull it up.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Uh, so, my feeling, yeah.

• 16:52Sam Morril?

  You're going as Dangle.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  I do him some, Swartson and I do them together sometimes.

• 16:56Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Now, he's not, he doesn't put on the terry cloth shorts and stuff. But my, here's my thing, my thing is, I don't do stuff I don't really do anything. Oh, go to the Reddit one. Go to the Reddit one.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  I can't.

• 17:08Speaker 01

  Oh, you can't? Reddit won't allow you?

• 17:09Mark Normand?

  Sign in.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  And everyone will know my name then.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. Um, but, uh, so I don't do anything halfway, you know?

• 17:18Mark Normand?

  I love it. Look at that.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  If you're going to a fan convention, be the impulse buy, you know?

• 17:24Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 17:24Speaker 01

  You want to be that pointless candy that they get at the front, you know?

• 17:28Mark Normand?

  The virgins must have gone nuts when they saw you. Or are you aged out?

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Who's that?

• 17:33Mark Normand?

  Like the guys at Comic Con when they saw the real Dangle.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  It does, it does have a certain, yeah, it has a certain effect. I got touched by a lot, like a lot of

• 17:41Mark Normand?

  In cells? Oh.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no. A lot of, a lot of older ladies want to just kind of feel around a little bit.

• 17:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  They want to let their hands do the talking. There we are. Look, there's.

• 17:50Sam Morril?

  Hey, you're low-key fit. Like, look at that.

• 17:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:53Sam Morril?

  You kind of have to be to pull that outfit off. Sorry, Peters. But, uh...

• 17:57Speaker 01

  I think you, I think you look great. Also, by the way, it's like 105 degrees outside New York City today.

• 18:02Sam Morril?

  It is.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  Did you wear it on the train here? Sure.

• 18:04Sam Morril?

  Oh, you're, you're amazing, dude.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  You want to go goof around later and I'll just go with you?

• 18:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, that would be amazing.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  If you meet, we go down to the West Village, you ain't never paying for a drink.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  We're just talking Bob Fosse.

• 18:17Mark Normand?

  Uh, red wine.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  We're having some red wine.

• 18:19Mark Normand?

  Looking like a park ranger.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Bob Fosse stuff.

• 18:22Sam Morril?

  So those, I mean, the lines must be crazy at those places.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  Uh, it depends. I'll tell you, if you ever have a slow moment at a convention, it's the, it is truly the long, dark tea time of the soul.

• 18:32Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  When you like have a minute to just think to yourself.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  And you're standing in go-go shorts.

• 18:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  You know, and you're next to Danny Trejo. And you're like, "Hey, Trejo." And he's like, "Hey, Thomas." And you're like, "Do we, is this, how do we end up?"

• 18:48Sam Morril?

  You're in the good section if you're with Trejo.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm, I spend more time with Trejo at this point in my life than I maybe would have expected.

• 18:55Mark Normand?

  Hey, do you throw, do you throw a sock in there or is it all natural?

• 18:58Speaker 01

  It's mostly natch.

• 18:59Mark Normand?

  Mostly?

• 19:00Speaker 01

  But, well, no, what I, I will say what I do is I do double underwear.

• 19:03Mark Normand?

  That's smart.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  I wear two sets of underwear and I just, I realized that at some point. Like, if you're in that level of small thing,

• 19:10Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  just do double underwear.

• 19:11Mark Normand?

  And you don't want a ball hanging, you know?

• 19:13Speaker 01

  That, and there's a lot of just touchy stuff.

• 19:16Mark Normand?

  Ah-ha.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  Also, what if you dribble or something? I don't know. You're just like, what? Double britches.

• 19:21Mark Normand?

  I get it.

• 19:22Speaker 01

  Has been a new thing that I learned at the conventions.

• 19:24Mark Normand?

  Mm.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  And I'm pretty happy about it.

• 19:26Mark Normand?

  Here, here.

• 19:26Sam Morril?

  That pose is unbelie- that's perfect. That's what you want out of a picture.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  I was walking, so I'm walking out of a convention early in the morning. It's, you know, ten o'clock in the morning. And a rascal scooter comes by. And it's William Shatner.

• 19:36Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, Shatner's at the conventions a lot. And I, he's coming by and this felt really good. Shatner's zipping by me on the rascal scooter and he goes, "Great legs."

• 19:49Speaker 01

  I was like, "Fuck yeah, that was cool."

• 19:51Sam Morril?

  That's impression three, by the way. You're cooking.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  Let's get Lorne Michaels on the horn.

• 19:59Sam Morril?

  Were you a big Star Trek guy?

• 20:00Speaker 01

  No.

• 20:01Sam Morril?

  Me neither, but it's still, Shatner still has this like, gravity to him.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  When I see one of those, I'm like, "Oh yeah, this is great."

• 20:06Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 20:07Mark Normand?

  I think he's a hundred.

• 20:08Sam Morril?

  He's super old.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  No, he's ninety-six.

• 20:11Sam Morril?

  Whoa!

• 20:11Speaker 01

  I think he's ninety-six years young.

• 20:12Sam Morril?

  That is great.

• 20:13Mark Normand?

  And still with, just went to space.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  He looks great. He looks great.

• 20:15Mark Normand?

  Ninety-five, sorry.

• 20:16Speaker 01

  Ninety-fa-? Wait. March twenty-second, nineteen thirty-one, till now, ninety-five.

• 20:22Mark Normand?

  So that's, his birthday is in like, you know, two days.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  March.

• 20:26Mark Normand?

  Shit.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  That's-

• 20:27Mark Normand?

  I don't know where we are with dates.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  Where we are. When is this, this coming out? This year?

• 20:31Mark Normand?

  I'm sorry.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  Are we in twenty-six, or?

• 20:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 20:33Mark Normand?

  Peter's body is throwing me off.

• 20:34Sam Morril?

  Can I go back to Trading Places for a sec? I mean, what made you, I love the movie, obviously. I mean, it's, that was a huge, getting an Eddie Murphy as a child was like,

• 20:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 20:43Sam Morril?

  That was like, incredible, because you get so many in a row.

• 20:45Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 20:46Sam Morril?

  But Trading Places was like-

• 20:48Speaker 01

  You know, I was talking about this the other day. We're, we're doing a musical of Trading Places. It's been a lot of fun, but when, when Trading Places came out, and Trading Places in Beverly Hills caught this run of Eddie Murphy movies.

• 20:58Mark Normand?

  Forty-eight hours.

• 20:59Speaker 01

  Not only is there no one in the world that famous right now, I don't know if there ever will be. As-

• 21:05Sam Morril?

  I want Forty-eight Hours the musical, though. All those slurs, a lot of rhymes.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  But, uh, like, when, the amount of famous that Eddie was then.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Is that achievable?

• 21:16Mark Normand?

  No.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  Now? I don't know if it is.

• 21:18Mark Normand?

  Not with the landscape.

• 21:19Sam Morril?

  It's too spread out.

• 21:20Speaker 01

  When there was four TV stations.

• 21:22Mark Normand?

  And everybody saw the movie.

• 21:24Speaker 01

  Everybody saw any, every movie.

• 21:25Sam Morril?

  We're more connected now. It's like, it's cool because there's more of a middle class.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  How did we all see Delirious?

• 21:31Mark Normand?

  True.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  Did we see Delirious on like HBO? Oh no, we rented the VHS.

• 21:35Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 21:35Speaker 01

  We rented it because it was pretty dirty.

• 21:38Mark Normand?

  You got that right.

• 21:39Sam Morril?

  You even think about movie stars now.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  What a beautiful girl like you doing in the islands crying boot.

• 21:44Mark Normand?

  That's number four.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  So what a beautiful girl, you know, your girl goes to the islands, the guy is swinging his dick?

• 21:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  What a beautiful girl like you doing in the island crying boot.

• 21:53Sam Morril?

  I do it with that a girl.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Throws his dick over his shoulder.

• 21:56Mark Normand?

  Is that your owner? Is that, is that the bodega guy?

• 21:59Speaker 01

  No, that's Eddie.

• 21:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's Eddie, oh.

• 22:00Speaker 01

  Is that Delirious or is that, that might be?

• 22:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, I don't remember that bit.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  That's Raw.

• 22:04Mark Normand?

  Ah, I've blacked out Raw.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  It's when your girl.

• 22:06Sam Morril?

  Raw is great too.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, your girl goes to.

• 22:08Sam Morril?

  Raw's got great bits.

• 22:09Mark Normand?

  It's got great moments.

• 22:09Sam Morril?

  The Rocky bit is so fucking funny.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  Your girl goes to Jamaica or someplace and she meets an island guy, yeah, it's a great bit.

• 22:17Mark Normand?

  Great bit.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  And he walks up with his dick swinging in the breeze. It's a terrific bit.

• 22:22Sam Morril?

  Are you just watching Trading Places? Like, I can make the, like, how does that?

• 22:25Speaker 01

  No, no, that was, uh, the way that worked is the guy who, um, the producer of that is the guy who used to own Final Draft, the screenwriting software.

• 22:35Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  I know, it's a weird, boring story, but, uh, he thought it would make us a great musical.

• 22:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  And now we've been working on it for like seven or eight years. Musicals take a real long time. Uh, just ask our friend Bob Fosse, but boy, they take a fuck long time to get a musical going.

• 22:51Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 22:51Speaker 01

  I thought movies were slow? No. Broadway musicals are very, like, it's like being a passenger on an aircraft carrier that's like making a real slow left turn.

• 23:01Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 23:02Speaker 01

  For like a miles.

• 23:03Mark Normand?

  So like Book of Mormon, Hamilton, all that took forever to make?

• 23:06Speaker 01

  Those, I know, some of those, you know, I don't know how long. I know they took a while and usually like you sort of stand them up, like, we actually, Trading Places ran in Atlanta.

• 23:16Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then we did a huge rewrite after that and now it's completely different, so it's all happening again, but, um, uh.

• 23:25Mark Normand?

  Did you watch Blue Moon?

• 23:26Speaker 01

  Oh, here it goes.

• 23:28Sam Morril?

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• 24:07Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 24:08Sam Morril?

  This is good stuff, and Willie's sold out three times in the first six months with over 50,000 happy customers, and they just restocked.

• 24:15Mark Normand?

  Whoa, yeah, let me get a hit of that.

• 24:17Sam Morril?

  That's good stuff. Order now at drinkwillies.com and use code WMBD for 20% off your first order, plus free shipping on orders over $95, and enjoy life in the high country.

• 24:28Mark Normand?

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• 25:12Mark Normand?

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• 25:54Mark Normand?

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• 27:24Speaker 01

  His name's Dexter St. Jacques.

• 27:26Speaker 05

  Dexter St. Jacques.

• 27:29Speaker 05

  Walk up swinging his dick.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  What a beautiful girl like you.

• 27:38Speaker 01

  Bahamas, yeah.

• 27:50Sam Morril?

  What you-

• 28:01Sam Morril?

  Constantly.

• 28:03Speaker 01

  If he was my woman-

• 28:14Mark Normand?

  Still hits?

• 28:15Speaker 01

  So, you gotta be really good at stand-up to rock that outfit.

• 28:18Sam Morril?

  That's right.

• 28:19Mark Normand?

  Of course.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  That is actually-

• 28:20Mark Normand?

  If you bomb that outfit-

• 28:21Speaker 01

  I would argue this outfit's better than the red jumpsuit, I think.

• 28:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, you like the purple and black?

• 28:26Speaker 01

  It's a little, I don't know, it's a little more-

• 28:28Mark Normand?

  Subtle?

• 28:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, it's still, it's a purple paisley jumpsuit.

• 28:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  Oh, look, people debate which ones-

• 28:38Mark Normand?

  I think the red was sexier.

• 28:40Speaker 01

  I like the raw outfit.

• 28:41Mark Normand?

  The red was a little more-

• 28:42Speaker 01

  It's also fitted kinda better.

• 28:44Mark Normand?

  Hmm, but his ass-

• 28:45Speaker 01

  I like the scarf a lot.

• 28:47Mark Normand?

  The ass in the red, though.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, but look at that, the scarf hanging with the purple outfit? Come on.

• 28:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, alright, I do like the scarf.

• 28:54Speaker 03

  And he's wearing driving gloves.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  Fucking badass. Is he wear- is he wearing driving gloves?

• 28:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's doing nothing.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  Is that in raw? He's got-

• 29:00Speaker 03

  No, yeah, in raw, he's wearing driving gloves.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 29:02Mark Normand?

  You ever heard that old story where the Eddie Murphy's on a elevator with like six of his bouncers, giant black dudes?

• 29:08Speaker 01

  That is apocryphal. There's no way that story's true.

• 29:10Mark Normand?

  Well, I'm just telling the story.

• 29:12Speaker 01

  I've heard it my entire life.

• 29:13Sam Morril?

  What, what, what did it go?

• 29:14Mark Normand?

  Alright, try to tell it.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  Tell it, tell it.

• 29:16Mark Normand?

  Alright. So, he's on the elevator with like, he's like in some LA high-rise, going to see his agent or whatever, one of these big old skyscrapers, and he's in there with six giant black dudes, sunglasses, they're all wearing black trench coats, and a blonde lady just happens to get in on like the sixth floor, they're going up to the 30th floor, and she's like, "Oh geez, what the fuck did I walk into?" And then she's just standing there, and they're all surrounding her, and Eddie Murphy goes, "Get her!", and she goes, "Oh my god!", and she hit the floor, and she's like, "Please, don't rape me, don't hurt me!", and they all start laughing.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  Okay, here's the original version of that apocryphal story-

• 29:47Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  That I've heard is that it's in a casino, and it's Eddie Murphy and a bunch of like his bodyguards,

• 29:53Mark Normand?

  Uh-huh.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  And the lady gets in and she's just won a bunch of stuff, she's won a bunch of chips.

• 29:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  And she's going up to the room, and she- Gets in the elevator and he says, hit the floor. And she drops her chips and falls down on the ground. And he said, hit the button of the floor that you want to go to. That was the original version of the Eddie Murphy.

• 30:10Sam Morril?

  That makes more sense.

• 30:11Speaker 01

  Which makes a little more sense.

• 30:13Sam Morril?

  A misunderstanding over a gang rape, I think that's.

• 30:15Mark Normand?

  It's a game of telephone.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  It's a game of telephone.

• 30:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 30:18Speaker 01

  But I believe even the slightly more polished version is still not true.

• 30:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Do we think that there's no? That's like the Phil Collins in the air tonight.

• 30:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 30:29Mark Normand?

  Wait, what's that one?

• 30:30Sam Morril?

  Oh, you don't know this one?

• 30:31Speaker 01

  That's in Eminem even talks about it.

• 30:33Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 30:34Speaker 01

  Phil Collins in the air tonight.

• 30:35Mark Normand?

  I know the song.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  You know the?

• 30:37Sam Morril?

  The woman was drowning and he saw a guy.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  And then Phil put the spotlight on the guy and the audience at a show.

• 30:43Sam Morril?

  Cause he didn't save her?

• 30:44Speaker 01

  Heard that one?

• 30:45Mark Normand?

  No, no. Do tell.

• 30:47Sam Morril?

  And like, that's how you confront him instead of just calling the police?

• 30:49Speaker 01

  Wouldn't that, but that's where it doesn't, that's where it falls apart.

• 30:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 30:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, he's drowning a woman?

• 30:53Speaker 01

  No.

• 30:54Mark Normand?

  Or is it also a gang rape?

• 30:56Speaker 01

  This woman's being raped at sea.

• 30:58Mark Normand?

  Okay, now we're getting somewhere.

• 31:00Speaker 01

  And Richard Gere's the only person who saw it.

• 31:03Mark Normand?

  And then a gerbil comes out.

• 31:04Sam Morril?

  He saw it too.

• 31:06Speaker 01

  No, there used to be, we used to have like great stories like, you know, we used to have like apocryphal stories that we all knew.

• 31:11Mark Normand?

  Well, there was no internet, you couldn't look it up.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, you just had to hear about someone blowing a whole soccer team.

• 31:18Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 31:18Speaker 01

  Or something like that.

• 31:19Sam Morril?

  Now it's a meme. Now it's like, have you seen this meme?

• 31:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 31:23Sam Morril?

  It's not the same.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  It's not the same. As spoken, as our beautiful spoken memories like rock star blows a whole soccer team.

• 31:31Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 31:32Speaker 01

  Guy has gerbil.

• 31:34Mark Normand?

  In ass.

• 31:34Sam Morril?

  In his ass.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  We used to have beautiful stories we told each other.

• 31:38Mark Normand?

  What about the Dave Thomas?

• 31:40Sam Morril?

  How sick of that story?

• 31:41Speaker 01

  Why did we tell each other such fucked up stories?

• 31:43Mark Normand?

  It's fun.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  It was fun.

• 31:44Mark Normand?

  It's, it's storytelling.

• 31:46Sam Morril?

  How much do you think Richard Gere could ask that to his fans?

• 31:48Speaker 01

  Somebody started, somebody started both of those stories.

• 31:51Mark Normand?

  You better believe it.

• 31:52Speaker 01

  Like, who's the person out there in the world that was like, wait, I got one, I got one, I got one.

• 31:55Mark Normand?

  If you can write Harry Potter, you can write that.

• 31:58Speaker 01

  What?

• 31:59Sam Morril?

  You think it was her?

• 32:00Speaker 01

  I've never, I've never heard the Dave Thomas.

• 32:02Sam Morril?

  She got Dumbledore in the gerbil?

• 32:03Speaker 01

  What's the Dave Thomas?

• 32:04Speaker 03

  I don't know, I can't find that. Was it Dave Thomas?

• 32:06Mark Normand?

  Maybe it wasn't Dave Thomas. It was somebody where he would shit on a glass coffee table and he would lay under the, somebody would shit on the coffee table and he had got off on that.

• 32:17Mark Normand?

  Not the Wendy's.

• 32:17Sam Morril?

  That's an expensive fetish.

• 32:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 32:19Sam Morril?

  You gotta keep replacing coffee tables?

• 32:21Mark Normand?

  Ah, you clean it.

• 32:22Sam Morril?

  No.

• 32:23Speaker 01

  Was it the guy? I don't think it was. It can't have been the little guy from Wendy's, was it?

• 32:26Mark Normand?

  Glass coffee table. I forgot the guy's name. Danny Thomas. That's it. Danny Thomas.

• 32:31Sam Morril?

  Who's that?

• 32:32Mark Normand?

  I got the Thomas wrong. He's like a Broadway guy.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  Marlo Thomas's father. I'm not gonna get anywhere into this story.

• 32:37Mark Normand?

  There he is.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  There is no way this story is true and I'm not affiliated with it.

• 32:41Mark Normand?

  How do you know?

• 32:42Speaker 01

  Well, there's a, there's apparently- I'm not affiliated with this story on the show.

• 32:45Sam Morril?

  They say Charles Laughton ate poop sandwiches.

• 32:47Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 32:49Sam Morril?

  That was like a thing he was into.

• 32:50Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 32:51Sam Morril?

  Great actor, by the way.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  Laughton?

• 32:52Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 32:53Sam Morril?

  Witness for the prosecution. Check that one out.

• 32:54Speaker 01

  Captain Bligh?

• 32:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 32:56Mark Normand?

  He's full of shit.

• 32:56Sam Morril?

  That's what they say. I don't, cuz it's like a weird fetish. I don't know. It's, it's hard to find the internet. I have a friend who swears by it.

• 33:02Mark Normand?

  Pooper nickel.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  Well, but.

• 33:06Sam Morril?

  It's, it's on there, Charles Laughton?

• 33:07Speaker 03

  I'm getting there.

• 33:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, we, we-

• 33:09Speaker 01

  Gotta remind you. Guys, one day, one day we're gonna be dead and somebody will be able to Google us with shit sandwich. They'll be like, no, it's totally true. You know that guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:18Mark Normand?

  There's already an AI video.

• 33:19Speaker 01

  He used to squeeze his balls. He'd find a book and squeeze his balls in it and then he'd let the elevator door take it up. Like, there's gonna be-

• 33:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but it's funny when it's like a classy actor like Charles Laughton.

• 33:29Mark Normand?

  Right. Oh, there he is.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  It's, it did say it's in the story or somewhere.

• 33:34Sam Morril?

  It will, you know-

• 33:35Speaker 01

  Well, no, I can read the control F that shit. And love to eat poop sandwiches.

• 33:39Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, uh, no.

• 33:41Sam Morril?

  He was disappointed by the commercial failure of Night of the Hunter and he decided to eat poop. It all adds up, guys.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  Night of the Hunter's a great picture.

• 33:47Mark Normand?

  That's a great movie.

• 33:47Speaker 01

  Oh, we gotta get into Night of the Hunter. It's the, the first ever appearance of the Love Hate film, right?

• 33:52Sam Morril?

  Class, Robert Mitchum, dude.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  I think he was closet homosexual and that sounds like a nasty rumor you would make about a closeted-

• 33:58Sam Morril?

  Wow, that makes sense. Damn, so I'm part of the problem.

• 34:00Speaker 01

  Why is that the natural extrapolation of that? That feels weird.

• 34:02Mark Normand?

  You'll play him in a movie.

• 34:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. What, is it saying the same thing about Danny Thomas? Is that what we're saying?

• 34:06Mark Normand?

  Let's get to the Thomas.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  Is that why we're starting terrible rumors?

• 34:08Mark Normand?

  The ADD in this room is out of control. We gotta focus.

• 34:11Speaker 01

  Guys, by the way, I just looked at Danny Thomas's real name and I thought I had a stroke. Can you go down to Danny Thomas's real name, please?

• 34:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, one thing at a time.

• 34:17Speaker 01

  Just go down.

• 34:18Sam Morril?

  Oh wow.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  That's a lot.

• 34:20Mark Normand?

  Whoa, Amos Muzian Yakub Karuzi.

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Scrabble and I could never make anything out of it. I didn't know I could have made that with it.

• 34:27Mark Normand?

  That feels like a terrorist.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  That's a fucking name.

• 34:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 34:30Speaker 01

  That is some Ellis Island shit.

• 34:32Sam Morril?

  What, what's your name? Let's go with Danny Thomas.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:37Mark Normand?

  Abu Wazu Yakub Karaz is dead. Died like a dog.

• 34:45Sam Morril?

  Which by the way, that's not how dogs die.

• 34:46Speaker 01

  It's not how dogs, dogs.

• 34:48Sam Morril?

  Dogs get euthanized, they get put down.

• 34:49Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 34:50Sam Morril?

  They'll get just bombed to death.

• 34:52Mark Normand?

  Never thought of that.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  This is not true either. We're just doing this. There is no known public scandal.

• 34:57Mark Normand?

  How do you know? People do things.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  To the word poop.

• 35:00Mark Normand?

  Oh no.

• 35:01Speaker 01

  Who paid for this? So if, I guess if you throw money at it, you don't have to.

• 35:05Mark Normand?

  Alright, see, he, he controls his own Wikipedia, clearly.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  You can't, you can't put stuff in your Wikipedia, guys.

• 35:10Sam Morril?

  When is Trading Places gonna be a thing, you think? Like, when do you think it's gonna actually preview?

• 35:14Speaker 01

  What we just did was the, like, the staged, uh, reading, you know, Broadway's a whole thing. There's like forty theaters, but they're only owned by like three organizations. So, you know, the mafia's five.

• 35:26Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 35:27Speaker 01

  But Broadway's three.

• 35:28Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  There's just not that many, yeah, so.

• 35:30Mark Normand?

  Titanic is killing it.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  I hear it's great. I hear it's really good. It seems fun.

• 35:34Mark Normand?

  My wife loved it.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  I saw, did you see, I saw, um, Operation Mincemeat?

• 35:38Sam Morril?

  No.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  One of the best musicals I've ever seen.

• 35:40Sam Morril?

  Wow, pull it up.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  Pull it up.

• 35:41Mark Normand?

  Never heard of that. Is this a gay code?

• 35:43Speaker 01

  Straight up the street. It's like ten blocks away.

• 35:45Mark Normand?

  A lot of things.

• 35:46Sam Morril?

  I heard the new, uh, Death of a Salesman is unreal.

• 35:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 35:49Sam Morril?

  I hear it's unreal.

• 35:51Mark Normand?

  Alright, it's a classic.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Lost Boys is one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

• 35:53Sam Morril?

  I've heard that's amazing too.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  One of the coolest things I've ever seen in my life. That show, Mincemeat I just saw the other day, it's incredible. But, uh, Lost Boys.

• 36:02Mark Normand?

  Tony winning.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  Do you think they fly around in Lost Boys?

• 36:05Mark Normand?

  I would hope so.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  They do.

• 36:07Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Do they fly around so, unbelievable how much they fly around in Lost Boys.

• 36:13Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  You'll feel like you're hallucinating.

• 36:15Sam Morril?

  I took my niece to Book of Mormon a couple of months ago. She's thirteen. I don't know how.

• 36:18Speaker 01

  How do you feel about it?

• 36:20Sam Morril?

  I think it's great. I love it. I love it. I, I wonder how much she got. As I'm watching, I'm like, does a thirteen year old, she's super smart, but does a thirteen year old fully get this?

• 36:29Speaker 01

  My, my wife's very Baptist parents to Book of Mormon and I was a little worried about how it was gonna go, you know, like right when you get to Hasidic Eba wine and stuff.

• 36:39Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 36:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's his Danny Thomas name.

• 36:43Mark Normand?

  Bang. That was tight.

• 36:45Sam Morril?

  That was good.

• 36:45Mark Normand?

  That was very tight.

• 36:46Sam Morril?

  That is the greatest song, though. I mean, that was...

• 36:48Speaker 01

  It's incredible.

• 36:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 36:49Mark Normand?

  Uh, but, uh... No knock on Lost Boys. I like the film. But how did they decide to make this amusing? What goes through the, the channels and the grinder to go, hey?

• 37:00Speaker 01

  I swear to God, you're gonna love it.

• 37:01Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  Especially if you're on Grindr, because there's some, there's some sexy dudes flying around.

• 37:06Mark Normand?

  But you know what I mean? There's a billion movies from 30 years ago, 40 years ago. How did they decide that one will make money on Broadway?

• 37:11Speaker 01

  You're gonna like it. You're gonna like it.

• 37:12Mark Normand?

  I know, I'm just asking how they get that to...

• 37:14Speaker 01

  Everybody's flying around and their shirts kinda are a little bit oily. I don't know, jury's still out on me, I guess. I don't know.

• 37:21Mark Normand?

  That's true. Red wine, mustache.

• 37:23Sam Morril?

  That's what it is. A cultured straight.

• 37:26Mark Normand?

  That mustache smells off.

• 37:28Sam Morril?

  But that's, I think that's a good thing.

• 37:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, very.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Because what are we talking about? Great old rumors about people.

• 37:33Mark Normand?

  Wait, you live in Wisconsin?

• 37:34Speaker 01

  I live, uh, we mostly live in Wisconsin. Yeah, we still have a house in Los Angeles that we go to sometimes. But for quality... Quality of life, knock on... I haven't seen it.

• 37:45Sam Morril?

  What part of Wisconsin?

• 37:47Speaker 01

  Uh, we live at a place called Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.

• 37:49Mark Normand?

  Ooh, very nice.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  Ninety minutes from Chicago.

• 37:52Sam Morril?

  Oh, wow.

• 37:53Speaker 01

  It's a sweet little spot. And, you know, people rag on it as the, it's the, the place that Chicago people go in Wisconsin.

• 38:00Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  But that's, that's me, too. I'm a Chicago person, that's where I come.

• 38:04Sam Morril?

  I love Chicago.

• 38:05Speaker 01

  Across the lake from me is the Wrigley's. You got people like that. It's a sweet spot.

• 38:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, the gum fortune?

• 38:10Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 38:10Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Uh, they used to own the Cubs for a long time. Yep.

• 38:14Mark Normand?

  Look at that. But you're gonna get two months out of the year out of this with, with the Cubs, let's be honest.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  No, no, we actually live there a lot. It's beautiful. But, uh, you gotta, if you're gonna go there, that's, that house is, uh, that's called, uh...

• 38:23Mark Normand?

  It's Eddie Murphy's.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  That's, uh, called, uh, Stone Manor.

• 38:29Mark Normand?

  Got a pool on the roof there.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a cool place. It looks a lot like, uh, yeah, that's, that's down the lake from me.

• 38:35Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 38:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. But, uh...

• 38:37Mark Normand?

  Of all the places, what are you, a Chicago guy?

• 38:38Speaker 01

  I'm a Chicago guy.

• 38:39Mark Normand?

  There we go.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  So we grew up in Chicago and then I, this is the lake I grew up to going to as a kid. That's, uh, Stone Manor.

• 38:44Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  One of the big old spooky house. It's probably the spookiest house on the lake.

• 38:47Mark Normand?

  Beautiful.

• 38:48Speaker 01

  There's stuff that's less spooky.

• 38:50Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can go to Lake Geneva and see more. You pick the one really spooky looking house.

• 38:54Mark Normand?

  Ah, it's pretty. It's really pretty.

• 38:56Speaker 01

  That's a boat called the Lady of the Lake. Drives around the lake. Yeah, it's a sweet little spot.

• 39:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Uh, we actually love being there in the winter, but you just have to be, the lake freezes.

• 39:06Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  And you gotta be... Okay with the idea that, you know, for a couple of weeks at a time, it'll be like fifteen below.

• 39:11Mark Normand?

  Duh.

• 39:12Speaker 01

  For a couple of weeks.

• 39:13Sam Morril?

  That's crazy.

• 39:14Mark Normand?

  That's when you go to LA.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 39:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 39:16Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 39:17Sam Morril?

  You like the cold?

• 39:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, get some riding done.

• 39:19Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 39:20Sam Morril?

  I'm not, see, I'm not against it either.

• 39:22Speaker 01

  I stare long in the window.

• 39:22Sam Morril?

  I'm okay with the winter.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 39:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but fifteen below is tough.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. But I get, I get a good, I like, I love to stare out a window, you know?

• 39:29Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  And get, you know, get a little sad. You know, I like the Smiths and stuff.

• 39:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah, same.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  I'm a good window stayer.

• 39:35Mark Normand?

  Uh-huh.

• 39:36Speaker 01

  Just think about, you know, the way things were. So, how are you feeling?

• 39:41Speaker 03

  Did you see that Morrissey's hosting the, uh, or, or the final act of the CBGB's Fest? CBGB's is having one show.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  And he's doing, is he doing twenty minutes of stand-up?

• 39:49Speaker 03

  And he's doing...

• 39:51Speaker 01

  I'm gonna tell you some another thing about, about the dog meat festivals.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  Wow, that's number five.

• 39:57Mark Normand?

  Hey, you're on roll, man.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  I'm doing five impressions, none of which would get me on Saturday's night.

• 40:02Mark Normand?

  You know the famous Morrissey story?

• 40:04Sam Morril?

  You see a lot of famous Morrisseys.

• 40:06Mark Normand?

  Well, apparently he's, uh...

• 40:07Speaker 01

  I've met him a couple times.

• 40:08Mark Normand?

  Very horrible to work with. There's that story where...

• 40:10Speaker 01

  I don't know that.

• 40:11Mark Normand?

  Hold on.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  He said, trying to extricate himself from this part of the conversation. I've never heard that specifically. He said, and then he leaned back in the car. Kind of moved the microphone away a little bit.

• 40:22Mark Normand?

  It's all me again, not Tom.

• 40:23Speaker 01

  I don't know anything about this.

• 40:24Mark Normand?

  So, uh, there's that old story where he's on the tour bus, they're pulling up to somewhere, I don't know, Detroit. Big theater, says Morrissey on it. They missed, they took one S out, they misspelled it, and he said, keep on driving. Sold out around the corner, they drove by in the bus, one S was off, and he said, fuck it, keep driving.

• 40:41Sam Morril?

  My own agent misspells my names.

• 40:42Mark Normand?

  Exactly, yeah, me too. They call me Mike.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  There's two fucking S's, people.

• 40:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  No, two Rs, two S's.

• 40:49Mark Normand?

  Sorry, Bor.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  I feel like that's justified, though, a little bit.

• 40:51Mark Normand?

  Ah, I disagree.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Guys, pay attention to the details.

• 40:55Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 40:55Speaker 01

  If they fucked up the, the marquee, what's it gonna be like back? Yeah. Could be bad.

• 40:59Mark Normand?

  All right, we get it, you like Morrissey.

• 41:02Sam Morril?

  You're a window stayer.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  I'm gonna defend him on a lot of weird stuff.

• 41:05Mark Normand?

  What else you got for Morrissey?

• 41:07Speaker 01

  Uh, no, no, no, I don't, I, I've met him twice, and he was absolutely, couldn't have been nicer.

• 41:10Sam Morril?

  Oh, wow, okay.

• 41:11Mark Normand?

  Again, I don't know if this is true.

• 41:12Speaker 01

  Couldn't have been nicer.

• 41:13Sam Morril?

  No, we have, we have some areas where we will not delve into.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's stuff...

• 41:16Sam Morril?

  You trash a Nick, I'm like, I can't.

• 41:18Speaker 01

  Not gonna trash the Knicks, even though I'm from Chicago, and it was kind of fun for me, because I lived in New York from the late eighties through all of the nineties.

• 41:27Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 41:28Speaker 01

  And I just wanna thank... The Knicks fans, specifically Ken Marino. He's got a picture coming out called Gal Daughtry in the Celebrity Sex Pass.

• 41:36Mark Normand?

  Funny guy.

• 41:37Sam Morril?

  Love Ken Marino.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  We love Ken Marino.

• 41:39Sam Morril?

  But we gotta get, we tell him to come on here. We're fans.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  One thing that was really great is being a, a Chicago person and a Bulls fan during that era during the nineties in New York. Is it was like my second job. Cause Ken Marino would always, always bet on the Knicks. No matter what. Like, didn't matter. Like, you know, you guys had Starks and you had everybody and I used to do a John Starks impression.

• 42:03Mark Normand?

  Ah, number six.

• 42:04Speaker 01

  Are we doing John Stark?

• 42:06Speaker 04

  When I was this shopping bag grocery, I was the best. I decided I would be the best shopping bagger that there ever was.

• 42:11Sam Morril?

  It's too high. He's too high.

• 42:13Speaker 04

  Too high?

• 42:14Mark Normand?

  Pull up Stark. I gotta hear Starks now.

• 42:16Sam Morril?

  No, he's lower. He's lower for sure.

• 42:18Speaker 04

  Starks is lower than this? I don't think so.

• 42:21Speaker 04

  This is a pretty perfect John Stark's impression. Okay, let's hear about John Stark.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  Okay, okay. Your money back.

• 42:28Mark Normand?

  You might be right about the SNL on this.

• 42:31Sam Morril?

  Lord Michaels, why is he closing with Starks? What the hell is this?

• 42:34Speaker 04

  I'm gonna do a quick little John Stark.

• 42:36Mark Normand?

  Starks, Morrissey, we gotta update these.

• 42:41Sam Morril?

  It's deeper.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  I think he's doing it wrong now. Well, he's fucking, fucking not as good at it as he used to be.

• 42:48Sam Morril?

  Then he's the nicest dude too, by the way.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  He's great and he's a lovely guy, but.

• 42:52Sam Morril?

  I, I had a rough one at a gig at MSG once for, for the NYPD and he, as I'm leaving, he put his arm around me. He's like, that was fucking hilarious. When Starks does that, you're like, all right, I don't feel that bad.

• 43:02Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:05Sam Morril?

  That's a little higher.

• 43:09Speaker 04

  No question.

• 43:12Speaker 01

  Guys, I'll tell you what, at this point in my life, I'm not gonna put any more work into my John Stark.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  I'm calling it. I'm considering it perfect. I'm gonna let it exist the way it exists for space and time.

• 43:27Sam Morril?

  Got it.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  So, so it was a great era because, you know, the feeling is that the Knicks were always with Ewing and everybody gonna, um, gonna finally beat the Bulls at some.

• 43:38Sam Morril?

  We hoped.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  And guess what happened? You didn't.

• 43:41Sam Morril?

  I remember.

• 43:42Speaker 01

  It was so great.

• 43:43Mark Normand?

  Nineties Bulls were unstoppable.

• 43:45Speaker 01

  Well, Jordan would have the flu and he'd score fifty-five.

• 43:47Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  It was crazy.

• 43:49Sam Morril?

  He's the GOAT. I mean, it was crazy. Jordan, Pippen, Rodman, it was unfair.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  I met Pippen.

• 43:53Sam Morril?

  How was Pippen?

• 43:54Mark Normand?

  He banged his wife?

• 43:55Speaker 01

  He was great. That great, here's what it is and I'm gonna go on the record here.

• 43:59Sam Morril?

  Jordan's son!

• 44:00Speaker 01

  I'm moving the microphone away.

• 44:02Mark Normand?

  Morrissey!

• 44:04Speaker 01

  As I talk about my relationship.

• 44:07Sam Morril?

  Jordan's son married her.

• 44:08Mark Normand?

  What?

• 44:09Sam Morril?

  Seven rings.

• 44:09Speaker 01

  Is that true? That is, is that?

• 44:12Mark Normand?

  Nuva ring.

• 44:12Sam Morril?

  He did.

• 44:13Speaker 01

  Is that true?

• 44:14Sam Morril?

  He did, yeah. I think they got divorced though.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  I thought I heard that too, but.

• 44:16Mark Normand?

  Man, she's a looker.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  So I met, I met, here's, here's what happened. I met Scottie Pippen because we were both in first class on United.

• 44:23Mark Normand?

  Nice.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  Well, let me clarify. Fine for me, I'm in first class. He's Scottie fucking Pippen.

• 44:29Sam Morril?

  And he's like six-eight.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  Shouldn't Scottie be on somewhere thing nicer than what Lieutenant Dangles on? I think he should, I think he should be, like, I assure you, there's no chance Dangles bumping into Jordan anywhere I go.

• 44:42Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  He's at nicer places than I'm allowed. But Scottie Pippen and I are allowed at all the exact same places, which is a sad sign about the contracts he had to sign.

• 44:51Sam Morril?

  He got fucked over.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  He got fucked because now he has to live like me, an ordinary millionaire.

• 44:55Sam Morril?

  He's not, he's not broke. He's, I mean, he's, but yeah. He got, he got a big deal with the Blazers at the end, but a lot of Jordan's money is from the shoe deal. I mean, that's.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Jordan's, Jordan's basketball money was never even, it was a drop in the bucket.

• 45:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 45:08Speaker 01

  I mean, he had armor, he had, uh, what was the hot dogs? He had Jockey, Nike.

• 45:14Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. He had a restaurant or two. Bunch of steak houses.

• 45:17Sam Morril?

  Steakhouse, a cologne.

• 45:18Speaker 01

  He had a bunch of steak houses. What was the fucking hot dog he had?

• 45:22Mark Normand?

  He had a hot dog?

• 45:23Speaker 01

  Jordan had a hot dog.

• 45:24Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  Show to me. Hot dog ads.

• 45:28Mark Normand?

  Bam.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Michael Jordan's famous.

• 45:30Speaker 01

  Ballpark Franks.

• 45:31Mark Normand?

  No way.

• 45:32Speaker 01

  They plump when you cook them.

• 45:33Mark Normand?

  Was he Sprite too? Or am I a racist?

• 45:36Speaker 01

  You are, you definitely did McDonald's.

• 45:38Mark Normand?

  McDonald's.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  Both could be true.

• 45:40Mark Normand?

  That's true, that's a good point.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  The fact that you are, probably are a racist.

• 45:43Mark Normand?

  That's a good point.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  Uh, they plump when you cook them, Michael Jordan.

• 45:46Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  Uh, Ballpark Franks, uh, would get a little, they get a little excited when you cook them.

• 45:51Mark Normand?

  Did he do milk as well, or am I gay?

• 45:53Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  Yes and yes.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  Both could be true.

• 45:56Sam Morril?

  Got milk.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  Both could be true.

• 45:57Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  They're not.

• 45:59Mark Normand?

  I remember the mustache.

• 46:00Speaker 01

  Joel McHale for this wine, by the way.

• 46:01Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 46:02Sam Morril?

  Uh, this is good wine.

• 46:03Speaker 01

  It's actually, this is McHale?

• 46:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 46:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, he doesn't fuck around at all.

• 46:06Sam Morril?

  Yeah. He called us out, I think. We had like a shitty selection and since then we've upped our game.

• 46:11Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  Did he send you this? No, you got Ewing.

• 46:13Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 46:14Sam Morril?

  God, I love Ewing so much, dude.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  We all love Ewing.

• 46:17Sam Morril?

  You know what, that's the thing too, it's not all about winning, like.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  It better not be.

• 46:21Sam Morril?

  No, but, but as a kid, there's value in loving a thing that doesn't work out.

• 46:25Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 46:26Speaker 01

  There is that. Like the 90's Knicks. Oh. By the way, but the 90's Knicks, well here's the thing about them, they're a magnificent team.

• 46:31Sam Morril?

  They were awesome.

• 46:32Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  But, then there had to be something that could come along to be the foil of a team that amazing.

• 46:38Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 46:39Sam Morril?

  Jordan was, it just was unfortunate to be going against the greatest ever.

• 46:43Mark Normand?

  That whole team.

• 46:43Sam Morril?

  I mean Barkley missed out, Stockton, Malone, all these great players missed out. Malone did not miss out on impregnating a 12 year old, but he missed out on a championship, so.

• 46:52Mark Normand?

  Is that right?

• 46:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  I got to hang out with Rodman recently.

• 46:54Sam Morril?

  You did?

• 46:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:55Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 46:56Sam Morril?

  First class United? No, coach on United.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Economy plus. I was actually just sitting on, uh, Carmen Electra's lap.

• 47:03Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 47:04Sam Morril?

  How was Rodman?

• 47:05Speaker 01

  If you go to, maybe who posted it, maybe Weird Al, there's a picture of me, Weird Al, Rodman, Holy shit. Jared Pilecki, and Jennifer Grey.

• 47:13Mark Normand?

  That's a fever dream.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  It should be.

• 47:16Sam Morril?

  And Richard Gere's hamster.

• 47:18Speaker 01

  And, obviously, not pictured, but there. It was, uh, but Rodman, it's hard to put into, uh...

• 47:29Speaker 01

  Uh, there's photos somewhere, it's gonna, it'll turn up.

• 47:30Mark Normand?

  Images.

• 47:32Speaker 01

  Boom, no.

• 47:33Mark Normand?

  There's you and Weird Al.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, no.

• 47:35Mark Normand?

  There's Patton Oswalt.

• 47:36Speaker 01

  Patton, no, no. It'll be, it's probably on Al's, uh, I don't know where it was, somebody's Instagram.

• 47:40Mark Normand?

  Private Instagram.

• 47:41Speaker 01

  But, uh, oh, that's Lake Geneva again. There's me and Al on my boat.

• 47:44Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 47:45Sam Morril?

  Is Weird Al the man?

• 47:46Speaker 01

  He's the man.

• 47:46Mark Normand?

  I met him once, he's probably the nicest guy I've ever met.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  Probably the nicest guy I've ever met.

• 47:50Mark Normand?

  Sweet guy. We zinged him, cause it was, I did Opie and Anthony with him, and everybody zinged me, he's like, what are you doing, guys?

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Why are you zinging?

• 47:55Mark Normand?

  Thinking, why, why are you being so mean? And we're like, oh, you're like a nice, normal guy. We're animals.

• 47:59Sam Morril?

  Um, yeah, every other word on that show was, ugh.

• 48:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I know. He was like, what are you guys so mean for?

• 48:05Speaker 01

  Rodman's interesting, cause like, you know, he's six, seven.

• 48:10Mark Normand?

  Six, seven?

• 48:11Speaker 01

  Acts exactly kinda like the Rodman you're thinking about.

• 48:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 48:14Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 48:15Speaker 01

  He has not like, he hasn't like, mellowed.

• 48:18Mark Normand?

  I like that.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  A lot.

• 48:19Mark Normand?

  Well, he's hanging out with Gigi Ping, or no, Kim Jong-un?

• 48:21Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, he's the only guy who ever gets to go to North Korea, apparently.

• 48:25Sam Morril?

  Well, he brought, he brought a bunch of players with him on that one trip.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 48:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  Didn't they make a, they made like a...

• 48:31Mark Normand?

  A music video?

• 48:32Speaker 01

  There was a new show about him going to...

• 48:35Mark Normand?

  My ex-girlfriend had a huge crush on him. I had to break up with her.

• 48:39Speaker 01

  Right. Dennis was, didn't Madonna dated Dennis for a little while?

• 48:41Mark Normand?

  Of course. Madonna.

• 48:43Sam Morril?

  And Pippen.

• 48:44Speaker 01

  Carmen Electra.

• 48:44Mark Normand?

  Electra.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  Wait, did Madonna date Pippen?

• 48:46Sam Morril?

  I think they hooked up.

• 48:47Mark Normand?

  No.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  Could we have footage of that?

• 48:49Speaker 03

  Mark, can you tell me about, uh...

• 48:50Speaker 01

  I can watch that.

• 48:51Speaker 03

  Rodman's father?

• 48:52Mark Normand?

  No.

• 48:53Sam Morril?

  Absent father, right?

• 48:54Speaker 03

  No.

• 48:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, he had Philanderer.

• 48:56Speaker 03

  His name is Philanderer. He has something like...

• 48:57Speaker 01

  His name is not Philander.

• 48:59Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 48:59Speaker 03

  Something like Twenty Four Kids by Nineteen Women.

• 49:02Mark Normand?

  I think it's, yeah, I think it's Twenty Kids.

• 49:04Speaker 03

  Christian name is Philanderer.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  That's impossible.

• 49:06Speaker 03

  I'll look it up.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  That is impossible.

• 49:07Mark Normand?

  Things can be true, Tom.

• 49:09Sam Morril?

  This sounds like a Charles Louden type of story right there. Let's see.

• 49:12Speaker 01

  Well, I forgot about the smiley face hair. That was genius. The weird smiley face Dennis did with the hair. You know that, remember that guy?

• 49:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Philander. Not Philanderer.

• 49:22Mark Normand?

  Close enough.

• 49:22Sam Morril?

  Philander's close.

• 49:23Mark Normand?

  Philander, yeah, that's up there.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  Do you guys know that, remember Rodman left and just went to Vegas for a while?

• 49:28Mark Normand?

  Twenty-nine children.

• 49:31Sam Morril?

  And it was so cool that they just let him do it. They were like, he just needs this.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  I have a theory about it.

• 49:34Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 49:35Speaker 01

  I have a theory about why they let Dennis do everything they let Dennis do, and it makes, it makes a lot of sense. Like, when there's a guy on the other team that people think is crazy...

• 49:46Speaker 01

  Like, that's so helpful.

• 49:48Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 49:48Speaker 01

  Like, imagine, like, so, when even the Bulls are like, "Hey, Dennis is fucking crazy. We can't control him."

• 49:54Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  So imagine how you feel if you're the Knicks, and you're like,

• 49:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  "If he won't listen to Phil Jackson, and Jordan, and Pippen, and anybody else, and he'll just fuck off, like, watch out for that guy."

• 50:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  He doesn't fucking care.

• 50:07Mark Normand?

  And you gotta let a guy that crazy be crazy.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Let him be crazy. Let him be so crazy. There we go.

• 50:11Mark Normand?

  Wedding dress.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  Look at how little I am, next to little Rodman.

• 50:13Mark Normand?

  Ah, you're cute.

• 50:15Speaker 01

  Look at me.

• 50:15Mark Normand?

  What a crew.

• 50:16Speaker 01

  That is a fucking posse.

• 50:17Mark Normand?

  Who's the white guy with the...

• 50:18Sam Morril?

  Is that Jennifer Grey?

• 50:19Speaker 01

  Uh, is it me or Jennifer Grey? There's three white guys in the picture that I can tell.

• 50:22Mark Normand?

  The one on the right that I've never heard of.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  That's Jared, oh, he's the most famous guy in the photo by far.

• 50:26Mark Normand?

  Huh? Who's Pulecki?

• 50:27Speaker 01

  That guy's Jared Pulecki. He's from a show called Supernatural.

• 50:30Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  They have their own fan conventions, just for that show.

• 50:34Mark Normand?

  I've never even heard of it.

• 50:34Sam Morril?

  I don't know it.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  Uh, we watch it at home, we call it Ghost Hunks.

• 50:38Mark Normand?

  Ghost Hunks?

• 50:39Speaker 01

  Cause it's two guys looking for ghosts, and they're hunky as fuck.

• 50:42Mark Normand?

  I love it.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  They're really, really dreamy.

• 50:44Mark Normand?

  You're not gay, though.

• 50:44Sam Morril?

  He fathered twenty-nine children with sixteen different women.

• 50:47Mark Normand?

  See, take that, Nick Cannon. And Elon, that's more than both.

• 50:51Speaker 01

  I did not know anything about this, and I did read Bad As I Wanna Be.

• 50:55Sam Morril?

  How was that?

• 50:56Speaker 01

  It's a terrific book, Dennis's book.

• 50:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah?

• 50:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, it talks about sitting outside the palace at Auburn Hills with a shotgun in his mouth in the car.

• 51:03Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 51:04Speaker 01

  He had some really troubled moments.

• 51:06Mark Normand?

  You never hear about the dark side. You always think, "Oh, what a cool life."

• 51:08Speaker 01

  You always think Dennis seems fine.

• 51:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 51:11Speaker 01

  You always look at Dennis, you're like, "You know what? If anything, he seems fine."

• 51:15Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 51:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:16Sam Morril?

  But there's a beauty to that selfless type of player, the guy who's just like, "I don't need the ball, I'm just gonna run amok."

• 51:22Speaker 01

  Imagine if you're fighting for a ball.

• 51:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 51:24Speaker 01

  With that guy.

• 51:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 51:26Speaker 01

  Let him have it.

• 51:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 51:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 51:28Speaker 01

  Fuck it.

• 51:29Sam Morril?

  As a kid, too, like, "No, take my toy."

• 51:30Speaker 01

  Take it, take it.

• 51:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah. He's got green hair and a nose ring.

• 51:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, Dennis has proven that he, it doesn't, like, he's got bigger stuff on his mind.

• 51:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 51:39Speaker 01

  As opposed to bonking his head with you.

• 51:41Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 51:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:42Mark Normand?

  Well, we all had that friend in high school, when you got into a fistfight, he would go, "Ah!", and break a bottle over his head. And everybody else is like, "Oh, jeez, alright, I'm not going after you."

• 51:49Speaker 01

  You can't really fight crazy.

• 51:50Mark Normand?

  Can't fight crazy. Which, you could say Trump is a little of that, but, uh, Iran's crazy too. So, they're like, "Fuck it, we'll go after you."

• 52:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah, both reality stars, both a little crazy, both kind of peaked in the early.

• 52:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 52:05Speaker 01

  Was Dennis ever on, uh, Dennis must have been on.

• 52:08Mark Normand?

  He was on something.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  He must have been on the Trump show, right?

• 52:10Sam Morril?

  I think so.

• 52:12Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 52:13Speaker 01

  There's no way Dennis was not on that show. Had to be, right?

• 52:16Mark Normand?

  I can see them getting along.

• 52:17Speaker 01

  I know Meatloaf was.

• 52:19Mark Normand?

  If he likes Kim Jong-un.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  Dennis was, yeah, season eight.

• 52:22Mark Normand?

  Bam!

• 52:23Speaker 01

  Did he win?

• 52:24Mark Normand?

  Camp, what was he?

• 52:25Speaker 01

  How do you, do you win?

• 52:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  He famously misspelled Trump's name.

• 52:28Speaker 01

  He famously misspelled Melania.

• 52:30Mark Normand?

  Morrissey.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  Oh, Melania, sorry.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  He made memorable firings. Oh, he misspelled Melania's name.

• 52:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, we gotta re-watch that season.

• 52:37Speaker 03

  Invited back for season thirteen.

• 52:39Mark Normand?

  Wow, that ran that long?

• 52:41Sam Morril?

  Speaking of, was it NBC? Was the show you, uh, with Matthew Perry, The Odd Couple, was that NBC?

• 52:46Speaker 01

  The Odd Couple on CBS.

• 52:47Sam Morril?

  CBS.

• 52:48Mark Normand?

  What? They remade that?

• 52:49Speaker 01

  I was, not only did they remake it, I was in it.

• 52:52Mark Normand?

  You were which one?

• 52:53Speaker 01

  I was Felix Unger number five.

• 52:55Mark Normand?

  How's that work?

• 52:56Speaker 01

  Uh, let's see, the play?

• 52:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, Mathow.

• 52:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, uh, the play is, uh, uh, it goes Jack Lennon. There's the play, the movie, the series.

• 53:07Mark Normand?

  The TV show from the seventies.

• 53:08Speaker 01

  The Black Odd Couple, My Odd Couple.

• 53:10Mark Normand?

  What was the black?

• 53:11Speaker 01

  The Black Odd Couple?

• 53:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I don't.

• 53:12Speaker 01

  It was called Black Odd Couple.

• 53:13Mark Normand?

  Wait, really?

• 53:15Speaker 01

  It's called The New Odd Couple. If you go to New Odd, go New Odd Couple.

• 53:19Sam Morril?

  But everything is ripped off The Odd Couple. Like, even a great show like Peep Show is kind of The Odd Couple.

• 53:24Mark Normand?

  That's a good point.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  There you go, there's The New Odd Couple.

• 53:26Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 53:27Speaker 01

  So I'm on, I'm, I would be the guy, I'm the guy on, I'm the mustache one.

• 53:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, the almost gay one.

• 53:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, even, but still, even, even in the one I was in, I'm still the almost gay one, I'm Felix.

• 53:40Mark Normand?

  Even right here.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  Is that Lamont?

• 53:42Speaker 01

  Uh, that is, yes.

• 53:44Mark Normand?

  What, from Sanford and Son?

• 53:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  You guys have Lamont on the right, and that's the guy from Barney Miller on the left.

• 53:49Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah. Um, no, that was a fun run. We did, uh, like, three half-seasons of The Odd Couple.

• 53:56Mark Normand?

  How cool is Matthew Perry? He's a funny guy.

• 53:58Speaker 01

  We had a great time. We were very close. Well, we did that, we did a movie called, uh, Seventeen Again together.

• 54:04Mark Normand?

  Easy.

• 54:04Speaker 01

  We did, uh, Nobody Remembers, I did, uh, did a couple of episodes of Friends with, uh, Matthew.

• 54:09Mark Normand?

  Did you?

• 54:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:10Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 54:11Speaker 01

  I'm, uh, Joey's hand twin. Obviously you remember I'm Joey's aunt twin.

• 54:15Mark Normand?

  I don't remember.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Aunt twin. I was in the Friends reunion.

• 54:18Mark Normand?

  How you doing? Hand twin.

• 54:20Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 54:21Sam Morril?

  What was it like with Matthew Perry?

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Uh, we had a lot of fun. I mean, Matty's a complicated guy. I, you know, we, he, you know, there's always ups and downs with Matty, but like when he was in his, I mean, he, you know, you, like Matty wanted to be like a serious playwright and he was like kind of a,

• 54:40Speaker 01

  he was a heavier personality than, than a lot of people I know. I mean, his like, if left to his own devices, I think he would be like mostly just kind of writing slightly sad plays. Like this is real vibe.

• 54:51Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 54:52Speaker 01

  And then he kind of accidentally became a, a TV, you know, like a primetime heartthrob.

• 54:58Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 54:59Speaker 01

  You know.

• 54:59Mark Normand?

  Dated Julia Roberts, for Pete's sake.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  Dated, uh, yeah. Yeah. He was dating Julia Roberts when she was work, I, I know that he, he was dating her when she was working on her Irish accent for, for Michael Collins from one of those pictures.

• 55:12Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 55:13Sam Morril?

  It's like the worst time to date her.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, you don't want to, you don't want to date.

• 55:16Speaker 03

  Was his father in the business?

• 55:17Speaker 01

  Uh, Matty's dad is, I thought like a Canadian news guy or something.

• 55:22Mark Normand?

  Ah, a Canuck.

• 55:23Speaker 01

  Or am I thinking of his stepdad is, his stepdad is the famous guy. Anyway, we had a lot of fun.

• 55:30Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 55:31Speaker 01

  We both smoked cigarettes at the time. We smoked a million cigarettes together.

• 55:34Mark Normand?

  I could see that.

• 55:34Speaker 01

  Do you like smoking cigarettes in a Porsche?

• 55:36Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 55:37Speaker 01

  We did a lot of it.

• 55:39Mark Normand?

  How fun was LA back then?

• 55:40Speaker 01

  Porscheing around.

• 55:41Mark Normand?

  Nineties LA must've been the tip top.

• 55:44Speaker 01

  Knocking, burning darts in a Porsche. Yeah. We had a lot of fun. Yeah.

• 55:50Mark Normand?

  Do you worry about TV, the state of TV, movies and all that?

• 55:53Speaker 01

  No.

• 55:53Mark Normand?

  You're not worried?

• 55:54Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 55:55Mark Normand?

  You don't think it's shifting?

• 55:56Sam Morril?

  Well, you've had a lot of success and you wrote, I don't know if everyone listening knows, he wrote Night at the Museum.

• 56:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:01Mark Normand?

  You did?

• 56:02Sam Morril?

  It's a huge movie.

• 56:03Mark Normand?

  Whoa. They made three of those.

• 56:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's actually a fourth animated one. And apparently there's gonna be a fifth.

• 56:10Mark Normand?

  That's insane.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  But, you know, I, everybody's worried about everything, but,

• 56:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 56:14Speaker 01

  and I worry about stuff too, but then I also don't worry about it because it's like, You know, like when TV was invented, people worried about that and you know, it's like.

• 56:21Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  You know, and then they're like, oh, some of the people buying studios are evil. And I'm like, well, I worked for the people that used to own studios weren't the nicest people in the world either. So it's like, what, where, you know, so.

• 56:33Sam Morril?

  You're optimistic.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  I'm optimistic and everything sorts itself out.

• 56:36Mark Normand?

  I like that. Refreshing.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  Mostly, you know, and all you can do is keep doing good stuff. So.

• 56:42Mark Normand?

  Here, here.

• 56:42Speaker 01

  You can keep trying to do good work and.

• 56:45Mark Normand?

  Can we pull up his resume in just some ways?

• 56:48Speaker 01

  My resume, if you go to IMDb, it looks like a charades game of like a crazy person.

• 56:53Mark Normand?

  Right, I can see that.

• 56:54Speaker 01

  There's no logic to... Like, I'm in two Merchant Ivory movies.

• 56:59Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 57:00Speaker 01

  But I'm also in Boat Trip.

• 57:03Sam Morril?

  Is that Cuba Gooding Jr.?

• 57:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:05Sam Morril?

  Wow, I remember that.

• 57:06Speaker 01

  I'm also in a little divorce. I'm also in the Jerry Seinfeld.

• 57:08Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 57:09Speaker 03

  Eleven photos, I'm gonna go through all of them real quick.

• 57:11Speaker 01

  I get a little, little, little, oh, that's a picture called, uh, that's a Mike Jan picture also from the state.

• 57:15Speaker 03

  Which one's on?

• 57:16Speaker 01

  Uh, that's a Mike Jan movie called, uh, uh, Organ Trail.

• 57:20Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 57:20Speaker 01

  Very scary sort of western by Michael Patrick Jan from the state, director also of, uh, of, um, oh, you got three hundred and seventeen photos of me.

• 57:29Speaker 03

  I'm only at thirteen here.

• 57:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's just keep, we'll just keep fucking going through and I'll, I'll try to remember any of them.

• 57:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that Rose Byrne?

• 57:34Speaker 01

  Uh, that's a show called, uh, The Big Leap on Fox. That was great. Uh, yeah, same, same.

• 57:39Sam Morril?

  You've been on a lot of shows that went, been a lot of shows that haven't gone.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 57:42Sam Morril?

  Well, I mean, what's that like when you really believe in something and you're just like, that's it?

• 57:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I've been in shows that were canceled at the table read also.

• 57:50Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 57:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's friends. Oh, I'm, I'm doing a little too much in Friends, I feel like there. Look at that face. I'm doing too much. I'm doing too much. Turn it down. That is some cheesy, that was, I'm early in Hollywood. I haven't really been there that long. Cause I should be, I could be doing less.

• 58:05Mark Normand?

  Any audition tips? I can't nail an audition to save my life.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, no. Uh, that is Hancock?

• 58:12Sam Morril?

  Oh, that was fun, that movie, Hancock? Anything you auditioned for that you were like, I really wish I got it and, and it went?

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Everything.

• 58:17Sam Morril?

  Level, which, which is one that you thought you were really, what's one that you were really close to?

• 58:20Speaker 01

  Positive I was gonna be, uh, for like a couple of months, it seemed very likely that I was gonna be Ford Prefect in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

• 58:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, cool.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  And then I was not. Yeah, um. Uh, the guy who got it was most deaf and he's excellent in it, but I can choose you too all the time. I know, we have a, we're endlessly circling the same projects. But, uh, he's very good in the picture, but it was weird because I was positive I had it.

• 58:45Mark Normand?

  That's the worst.

• 58:45Speaker 01

  Oftentimes you're positive you have it and then, you know what? You don't.

• 58:48Mark Normand?

  Totally.

• 58:49Speaker 01

  You don't. Rodman gets scurries away with it and you're like, ah! Um, but, uh, no, there's, I mean, everything. Most auditions are heartbreaks.

• 58:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  You know?

• 58:59Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 59:00Speaker 01

  I just, I mean, I found out, I saw that I was on the list of, uh, you know, people to consider for the Michael Scott role in The Office.

• 59:06Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 59:07Speaker 01

  Which I never knew was true and they never saw me or anything, but

• 59:10Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 59:10Speaker 01

  There's a memo, I guess it's, it's in the book about The Office and I was like, oh, that would have been neat.

• 59:14Sam Morril?

  That's cool.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  But I'm happy with my life.

• 59:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, who else is on that list?

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Uh, a lot of cool people. Um, lots of cool people were on that list.

• 59:24Sam Morril?

  Wasn't Bob Odenkirk on that too?

• 59:25Speaker 01

  For sure he was. Yeah, he was for sure on that list. And he might've actually been in, in, uh...

• 59:31Mark Normand?

  Paul Giamatti, wow!

• 59:32Speaker 01

  A lot of people were on that list.

• 59:34Mark Normand?

  Martin Short.

• 59:36Speaker 01

  That seems like, that would have been an odd choice, even though he, I mean, he's amazing.

• 59:38Mark Normand?

  He's too big, I think.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's almost like he's almost too famous to play that.

• 59:42Mark Normand?

  I watched his documentary and he talks about how showbiz is 95% failure. Just audition, after audition, movies swapping.

• 59:51Speaker 01

  For me, it's about 99.

• 59:52Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 59:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. If you're hitting 95, you're killing it.

• 59:56Sam Morril?

  Is there anything, is there anything you passed on that you?

• 59:58Speaker 01

  Almost never.

• 59:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah?

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  Literally, it's almost never happened. Like, pretty much never. It would have to be so, I mean, I'm in the, I'm in Puppet Master, The Littlest Reich.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  So like, if I'm gonna be in that.

• 1:00:12Mark Normand?

  Reich!

• 1:00:13Speaker 01

  I'm in Puppet Master, The Littlest Reich. If I'm in that, what wouldn't I be?

• 1:00:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  Like, almost, you know?

• 1:00:20Mark Normand?

  You're on this podcast.

• 1:00:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. I was doing my garment shopping anyway.

• 1:00:24Mark Normand?

  I see.

• 1:00:25Speaker 01

  I'm always, I'm usually in the garment district on.

• 1:00:27Mark Normand?

  I got a glass of wine out of it.

• 1:00:29Speaker 01

  I got almost a whole glass of wine that was picked by Joe McHale and actually really solid.

• 1:00:33Sam Morril?

  Really good?

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, really solid.

• 1:00:34Sam Morril?

  Is there any type of thing that you haven't done yet that you really want to do?

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  Well, the Broadway thing was one. I've written a couple of novels. That was cool.

• 1:00:40Mark Normand?

  Wow, you're busy out there in Wisconsin.

• 1:00:43Sam Morril?

  Wisconsin, man.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  From my life, from the outside, I guess it must look like I feel busy. To me, it's always like, why am I not doing more, you know?

• 1:00:50Mark Normand?

  I get that.

• 1:00:50Speaker 01

  Do you feel that?

• 1:00:51Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  From the inside, it always feels like you're not doing quite enough.

• 1:00:54Mark Normand?

  I would say in comedy, we do more in a year than most people do in 20 years.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Probably yes.

• 1:00:59Mark Normand?

  The traveling, the writing.

• 1:01:00Sam Morril?

  A lot of travel.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  Also meeting people, staying friendly.

• 1:01:03Sam Morril?

  We did, we've done the road for the last like 15 years, how hard we've been on the road was like pretty crazy.

• 1:01:07Mark Normand?

  I've been every town.

• 1:01:08Sam Morril?

  But I love it. I really love it.

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  It is one of the hardest kind of lifestyles, too.

• 1:01:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, definitely.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:14Sam Morril?

  But it's also so rewarding. It's so fun.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  It can't, yeah, it is. It's a real high.

• 1:01:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:19Sam Morril?

  But like to build, to build a home life, it's hard, it's.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. I kind of stopped doing stand-up. Once I realized how, I really liked it. I don't know if I was good at it, but I liked doing it. But it's the kind of thing where it is not super conducive to like being home and being.

• 1:01:36Mark Normand?

  You got that right. Yeah. I got a baby boy and it's a lot.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  Very tough. Do you have a kid? I do. My son is 16 now.

• 1:01:42Mark Normand?

  Woo, you're right in the masturbation era.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:45Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  He seems pretty, I don't know. I don't.

• 1:01:47Mark Normand?

  Nah, they hide it well.

• 1:01:49Sam Morril?

  You hope they hide it.

• 1:01:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:51Sam Morril?

  That would suck if he's like, yeah, he's jerking off a lot. We've been, we've been walking in on it.

• 1:01:55Speaker 01

  But, uh, yeah, it's like, it's tough because like the, you know, comedy is just always someplace where there's tons of booze and people want to hang out. And you're like, Dangle, pick my, I'll sit on your shoulder. Just like everybody like wants to, you know.

• 1:02:11Sam Morril?

  That's how this pod started is we were just drinking buddies from back in the day and it just, you know.

• 1:02:16Mark Normand?

  And you hang out less, so you do a pod.

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  Right. And then you get, we get to meet folks.

• 1:02:20Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:02:21Sam Morril?

  But it's cool.

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  And watch, we get to watch all of Raw after this.

• 1:02:26Sam Morril?

  Is there anyone you really want to work with you haven't worked with?

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  Um, I don't know, I mean, I, I, I keep, I like, the weird thing about me is I kinda like, I like doing all the different jobs.

• 1:02:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the variety is fun.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  Like, that's what keeps me at doing this. I think it's very good to diversify the stuff that you do.

• 1:02:46Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  Like, I, as soon as I'm like, I'm never, I don't ever wanna work and write movies again, cuz it sucks.

• 1:02:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  And it's a nightmare. And then you write a novel and you're like, you know what I wanna do is I wanna adapt this book back into a movie and then like, it's just, it's good to diversify because there is so much heartbreak in movies and theater and TV and comedy. Like, so much of it is just, you know, shitty.

• 1:03:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  That it's good to diversify that heartbreak a little bit, you know, and have like,

• 1:03:18Mark Normand?

  Agreed.

• 1:03:19Speaker 01

  Have eggs in some different baskets, sometimes.

• 1:03:21Mark Normand?

  We wrote a movie and we're trying to get it made.

• 1:03:23Sam Morril?

  I think we're gonna, I think we're gonna shoot it in July, which I'm,

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  You're just gonna do it.

• 1:03:26Sam Morril?

  We got, we got independent financing, so we got, we got lucky. It's, it's very hard to pitch stuff now. You waste like six months pitching, so we, we went to independent financing, we got it, but uh,

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  Me and Marino pitched two things last year that were like slam fucking dunk.

• 1:03:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:41Speaker 01

  Like, to the top, they seemed amazing, and you find out eight days later in an email, they're like, oh no, they, they didn't want it.

• 1:03:48Sam Morril?

  Same.

• 1:03:48Speaker 01

  And you're like, wait.

• 1:03:49Sam Morril?

  And there's not even like a big like, or like, no, no, I'm sorry.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  It used to be like, the, the, the person you pitched to would call you and tell you why it didn't work. Although like, it's not for us, or at least they would say something. But we've, we've now, we're in an era of, everybody's so used to being ghosted and ghosting people.

• 1:04:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:08Speaker 01

  That like, you can go pitch a high-level studio executive and you will never hear about it again.

• 1:04:14Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  At all.

• 1:04:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  It's fucking weird.

• 1:04:17Sam Morril?

  It's rude.

• 1:04:18Mark Normand?

  It's weird.

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  It's weird.

• 1:04:19Mark Normand?

  I just pitched a kind of a reality show, page of stage, and everybody passed on it eventually, but,

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  Did they tell you they passed?

• 1:04:25Mark Normand?

  I had to ask.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  You had to ask.

• 1:04:27Mark Normand?

  And then I said to my manager, why'd they pass? And she was like, I don't know.

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  Don't know.

• 1:04:30Mark Normand?

  And so I emailed them and I said, why'd you pass?

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  I don't know, it's your fucking job to know.

• 1:04:33Mark Normand?

  No one fucking tells you. So I got the why now from them and they said, well, it's too niche, blah blah. I was like, okay, thank you. That's all I needed to know.

• 1:04:41Speaker 01

  But it actually, having closure and stuff like that. It's also the way that like the world should work.

• 1:04:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  Like if people don't like the idea that you have, say why.

• 1:04:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  Don't just be like, "I'll never talk, speaking to them ever again."

• 1:04:53Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  "I will never speak to them." Like, just fucking say what you didn't like.

• 1:04:57Mark Normand?

  I know. But that's why the internet is so, it's fun because if you get a big pop on the internet, you go, "You could have had that."

• 1:05:04Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:05:04Mark Normand?

  But you didn't do it.

• 1:05:05Sam Morril?

  That was our careers. I mean, you talk about kinda being like the anti-SNL in the 90s, but we were, you know, with stand-up specials, we got passed on by everyone and we put our shit on YouTube and it just kinda changed our lives.

• 1:05:14Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:05:15Mark Normand?

  So. Way better.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  And now, but I mean, for the, you know, for the reference, when we went to do the, like Reno and Ima wanted, Quibi. What Quibi, Katzenberg's little thing that he wanted to do with the.

• 1:05:26Sam Morril?

  Oh, we remember.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:27Sam Morril?

  We got pa- we got pa- our idea got passed on by Quibi.

• 1:05:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  And you poor things.

• 1:05:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we'd have loaded shotgun in our mouth after that one.

• 1:05:35Mark Normand?

  Sitting outside.

• 1:05:36Sam Morril?

  Quibi said no.

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  We were also at the stadium at Auburn Hills or something. But the, the, what they, they showed us what they were trying to compete with and it wasn't with Netflix and it wasn't with the movie studios and it wasn't with TV, it was with YouTube. They were trying to compete.

• 1:05:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:50Speaker 01

  With YouTube because the eyeballs, if you look at eyeball charts, like Netflix is amazing. It's, YouTube's here.

• 1:05:59Mark Normand?

  Is that right?

• 1:06:00Speaker 01

  The chart is, goes, you can't see the chart anymore.

• 1:06:02Mark Normand?

  Whoa, pull it up.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  YouTube, uh, just do YouTube versus Netflix.

• 1:06:06Mark Normand?

  Eyeballs.

• 1:06:07Speaker 01

  Like eyeballs.

• 1:06:08Mark Normand?

  Or viewers.

• 1:06:09Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 1:06:09Sam Morril?

  No, but, but you, but to talk about like your optimism, it's like, you don't know what's gonna pop for you, you don't know what's gonna hit, so just have a shitload of plates spinning.

• 1:06:17Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:06:18Sam Morril?

  Care about all those plates.

• 1:06:19Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:06:19Speaker 01

  Viewer, viewers, viewership, yeah.

• 1:06:22Sam Morril?

  But we didn't know, I mean, I thought, I thought we were like failures for doing that.

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:26Mark Normand?

  I know, so did I, but it worked out. That's kinda how it goes sometimes.

• 1:06:29Speaker 01

  All, 13% of all television screening in the United States is YouTube.

• 1:06:33Mark Normand?

  13?

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  Percent of all.

• 1:06:35Mark Normand?

  Wow, 2 billion monthly.

• 1:06:37Speaker 01

  2 billion monthly.

• 1:06:38Mark Normand?

  That's logged in, too.

• 1:06:39Speaker 01

  So like one quarter of the planet is watching YouTube.

• 1:06:42Mark Normand?

  Giaza.

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  Well, Netflix has 8 or 9%, that's pretty fucking great.

• 1:06:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  But.

• 1:06:47Mark Normand?

  Very good.

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  There, there 5, 4 to 5% under.

• 1:06:52Speaker 01

  Youtube, so you've gone right to, put your thing on the thing that

• 1:06:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  I mean, it's like.

• 1:06:57Mark Normand?

  But you can't compete, Youtube, everyone's uploading every second. Netflix, you have to wait for the new thing. Hey, here's the new special, here's the new movie out. I feel like Youtube, it's always something new.

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  On Youtube, I will say that's one thing about watching Youtube stuff is sometimes you feel like, hey, this is filler. You just put this out today because you had to put out something today. And you can feel that sometimes.

• 1:07:22Sam Morril?

  Which I miss, like, when you ever watch a movie from the 40s and it's like 90 minutes in airtight dialogue. And now, I mean, look, we're part of the problem on this podcast we're on right now. But we still, our movie, I feel like, is tight joke, joke, joke. Like, that's what we like.

• 1:07:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:36Speaker 01

  I've actually, I'm sure someone else has an expression for this, but I've started calling it spacing, which is streamer pacing.

• 1:07:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  Because you start watching shows on any streaming service and you're like, who decided to make this 28 minutes longer than it needed to be?

• 1:07:55Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:07:55Speaker 01

  And the answer is because they want to have 10 of them.

• 1:07:57Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  But, like, this would have been covered, you're seeing stuff on streaming shows that would have been covered in a movie, as you said, in about 90 minutes.

• 1:08:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  But if it's a streaming show, wouldn't it be great if there was eight to 10 of these?

• 1:08:11Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:08:12Speaker 01

  So let's just, um, linger and then we're gonna

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  we're gonna linger over here and then we'll linger back there.

• 1:08:22Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  Everything fucking lingers.

• 1:08:24Mark Normand?

  You're right, they make it a 12.

• 1:08:25Sam Morril?

  I ran into Nate Bargazzi last night, the seller, who told me he's coming back on the podcast, which I didn't know. But, but I go, I'll make sure Mark doesn't fart in you next time.

• 1:08:33Speaker 01

  That was really stinky.

• 1:08:34Mark Normand?

  Sorry, that was bad.

• 1:08:35Sam Morril?

  Well, Nate, I said, I'll make sure Mark doesn't fart in you, and Nate goes, thanks.

• 1:08:41Speaker 01

  It's like 100 degrees outside.

• 1:08:43Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, dude, that's fucking insane.

• 1:08:45Mark Normand?

  A burrito from a bodega.

• 1:08:47Speaker 01

  I also feel like it got into my Joel McHale wine, which is fucking

• 1:08:49Mark Normand?

  Sorry, Joel.

• 1:08:50Sam Morril?

  Hold on, let me, let me make sure, hold on one sec.

• 1:08:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, fuck it.

• 1:08:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, it's your asshole, what the fuck, dude?

• 1:08:57Speaker 01

  I would, like, I just want to make sure, you don't need to see a doctor. Because that was, that was legitimately, like, covering up a fart spray.

• 1:09:06Mark Normand?

  Fart spray.

• 1:09:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, has a doctor said that you're okay?

• 1:09:11Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:09:12Sam Morril?

  This guy worked with Matthew Perry and he's worried about you.

• 1:09:18Mark Normand?

  I'll be there for you.

• 1:09:19Speaker 01

  I think you should probably, you should probably see a doctor pretty soon.

• 1:09:21Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 1:09:22Mark Normand?

  I need a priest and a seance in here, some sage. Holy hell. Hala Akbar.

• 1:09:30Sam Morril?

  Dude, that is a really bad farts.

• 1:09:31Speaker 01

  If you say Danny Thomas's real name.

• 1:09:34Speaker 01

  Three times backwards.

• 1:09:36Mark Normand?

  Abu, Abu.

• 1:09:37Speaker 01

  He asked to appear.

• 1:09:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, holy shit.

• 1:09:40Speaker 01

  I ate a poop sandwich there.

• 1:09:43Sam Morril?

  That is brutal.

• 1:09:44Mark Normand?

  Alright, I think it's passed. Jesus Christ.

• 1:09:47Speaker 01

  It's not all the way gone. I mean.

• 1:09:50Mark Normand?

  Woo wee.

• 1:09:51Sam Morril?

  Usually your cartoon farts don't smell.

• 1:09:52Mark Normand?

  No, that was a whopper. That was a burrito I had.

• 1:09:56Speaker 01

  From a, a store?

• 1:09:57Mark Normand?

  A bodega.

• 1:09:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:59Mark Normand?

  Right down the street.

• 1:10:00Speaker 01

  Was it made out of cat food? What, what happened?

• 1:10:05Mark Normand?

  Oh man.

• 1:10:06Speaker 01

  Do they have a letter grade in the window and the answer is, we know that the answer is no?

• 1:10:09Mark Normand?

  Yes. Woo.

• 1:10:11Sam Morril?

  That is, that candle ain't gonna help.

• 1:10:13Speaker 01

  I'm just trying to smell the wine now to get away from it.

• 1:10:17Sam Morril?

  Who was, someone was telling me they do coffee grounds on a plane in case they're next to someone stinky.

• 1:10:21Speaker 01

  Somebody farts, you ever, the, the flight attendant will walk down with an open bag of coffee grounds?

• 1:10:25Sam Morril?

  Smart.

• 1:10:26Speaker 01

  And kind of like squeeze it, give it a little like.

• 1:10:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, activate it.

• 1:10:30Speaker 01

  It'll kill a lot of, uh.

• 1:10:32Mark Normand?

  I had a fat, a fat lady on a flight, she had the worst BO.

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  Why we gotta, why we gotta, wait, wait, wait.

• 1:10:38Mark Normand?

  Oh, she's painting a picture.

• 1:10:39Speaker 01

  That was her only characteristic.

• 1:10:41Mark Normand?

  Well, there was more, I held out, I held back. She was a fat, heavyset woman of color.

• 1:10:46Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:10:46Mark Normand?

  And she had like a tight body, so she had the worst.

• 1:10:49Speaker 01

  She was both fat and heavyset?

• 1:10:51Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:10:52Sam Morril?

  Mark, this and Morrissey in the same episode, we're making a lot of enemies.

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  You're literally ripping farts.

• 1:10:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:58Speaker 01

  Starting feuds. Is the podcast called Ripping Farts and Starting, and Starting Feuds? Holy shit.

• 1:11:05Mark Normand?

  That's a good title. Farts and Feuds.

• 1:11:08Speaker 01

  Farts and Feuds, welcome back.

• 1:11:09Sam Morril?

  We pitched that to Quibi too, they wouldn't buy it.

• 1:11:12Mark Normand?

  You're gonna end up with a shotgun in your mouth outside the stadium in Auburn Hills, listening to Daughter by Pearl Jam.

• 1:11:19Sam Morril?

  Quibi was cra, I mean that was a crazy.

• 1:11:21Speaker 01

  I almost had two Quibi shows.

• 1:11:23Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:11:24Speaker 01

  Almost.

• 1:11:24Mark Normand?

  Quit bragging.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  Quibi and CISO.

• 1:11:30Sam Morril?

  I had one.

• 1:11:31Speaker 01

  What was that too?

• 1:11:31Sam Morril?

  CISO?

• 1:11:32Speaker 01

  I had to produce the show for CISO.

• 1:11:33Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:11:34Mark Normand?

  Oh wow.

• 1:11:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:36Mark Normand?

  Anything else?

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  Quibi and CISO, that's when we ran out of names, remember?

• 1:11:39Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:11:40Speaker 01

  We just took anything from Danny Kaye and we put it.

• 1:11:43Mark Normand?

  It was Vimeo as well, remember Vimeo?

• 1:11:45Speaker 01

  Vimeo's still around.

• 1:11:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that?

• 1:11:47Sam Morril?

  Vimeo's good.

• 1:11:48Mark Normand?

  Now there's Tubi.

• 1:11:49Speaker 01

  Vimeo's where you like, if you make a video that's too d- geez, come on man.

• 1:11:53Mark Normand?

  Oh, give her the kiss.

• 1:11:54Sam Morril?

  We lost him, we lost him.

• 1:11:55Mark Normand?

  Thomas!

• 1:11:58Mark Normand?

  Alright, alright.

• 1:11:59Sam Morril?

  Well, we lost him on the mic.

• 1:12:00Mark Normand?

  This is the second time Lennon's been shot.

• 1:12:03Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 1:12:05Mark Normand?

  Oh man. Alright, that's it, that's it, the chamber's empty, I had to get the last one out, it was bubbling. It was bubbled? Bubbling crude. Holy hell, sorry Tommy. No, I'm sorry. Good to have you back. It's good to be here. This is your, uh, Reno 911.

• 1:12:25Sam Morril?

  Is there any pressure to bring that show back, do people hit you up all the time?

• 1:12:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, that was a classic.

• 1:12:29Speaker 01

  I mean, we have done a fair, like, we reboot it here and there and, you know, it's sort of an evergreen thing.

• 1:12:35Mark Normand?

  Freezuit.

• 1:12:36Speaker 01

  It's not super complicated, you know?

• 1:12:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:39Speaker 01

  We, uh, one nice thing, people think that like,

• 1:12:43Speaker 01

  it's weird, it has, it's having a moment now, because people are like, it's so incorrect. You know, it doesn't give a fuck.

• 1:12:49Mark Normand?

  Was it?

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  That's, well.

• 1:12:51Mark Normand?

  I guess you said the N-word on one.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  Actually, by a lot of standards, it would be.

• 1:12:54Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  But to us, it was always just like, oh, this is just kind of who we are, we're not, we're not, we're never gross for, to be gross, and we're never.

• 1:13:02Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  You know, but we also never filter, the show's very not filtered, you know?

• 1:13:07Mark Normand?

  Same with us.

• 1:13:08Speaker 01

  So, you know.

• 1:13:09Mark Normand?

  Obviously. I had a crush on the blonde.

• 1:13:11Speaker 01

  Wendy.

• 1:13:12Mark Normand?

  Wendy.

• 1:13:13Speaker 01

  Why wouldn't?

• 1:13:13Sam Morril?

  She's great.

• 1:13:14Mark Normand?

  She's a cleavage.

• 1:13:15Sam Morril?

  She's awesome.

• 1:13:15Speaker 01

  And a ditch.

• 1:13:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:17Speaker 01

  I don't think she'd mind me saying she's a ditch, yeah, Wendy's, yeah, she's a.

• 1:13:20Mark Normand?

  Is that her?

• 1:13:21Speaker 01

  No, that's Carrie, also a dish, my dear friend, yes, Carrie, the state, I mean, our thing with the state was, nobody wanted us to do anything, no one gave a fuck. We would do live shows and things like that, and, um, MTV was doing a show called You Wrote It, You Watch It, David was an intern at MTV on some other news and stuff, and he'd heard about the show, and he said, we pitched, we said, hey, can we make some videos for this show? And they were like, no.

• 1:13:50Speaker 01

  And we're like, oh, okay, fuck. And then we did the thing that ended up changing our lives in show business and is still, I think what you were just talking about. Instead of pitching it, we went and shot three sketches.

• 1:14:01Mark Normand?

  That's the way to do it.

• 1:14:02Speaker 01

  And we gave, we walked in and gave them to them and it was like, look at this. And that, from that, we got You Watch It. From You Watch It, we got The State. Jon Stewart was the host of that. So Jon got The Jon Stewart Show, we got The State. And then from The State, you know, Via Variety in Reno Number One.

• 1:14:21Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:14:22Speaker 01

  Probably, I don't know.

• 1:14:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, Via Variety.

• 1:14:23Speaker 01

  Thirty movies of some combination of these people have made, I mean, most of these people are in Gail Daltry, the movie.

• 1:14:30Mark Normand?

  Oh, fuck, it's great. You guys are still buds.

• 1:14:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:32Speaker 03

  Anyone in here sort of not doing what they want to do today?

• 1:14:35Speaker 01

  Every single person in the group pretty much does what they, Todd does art. He does like art installations and Todd is the founder and the plaid in the front there. Todd lives in Seoul. And he does like art installations and stuff.

• 1:14:48Mark Normand?

  Whoa, interesting.

• 1:14:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:50Mark Normand?

  What the hell is?

• 1:14:52Speaker 01

  Pretty much everyone else, almost everyone in that picture directs movies.

• 1:14:57Mark Normand?

  Cool.

• 1:14:57Sam Morril?

  I thought that was young Todd Barry in that flannel first.

• 1:15:00Speaker 01

  Uh, oh, that's, uh, Tom Hallebecker and David Wayne. Showalter is one of Hollywood's biggest directors, can obviously direct and is in everything. I'm in a lot of stuff. That is Kevin Allison.

• 1:15:10Mark Normand?

  He did Risk.

• 1:15:11Speaker 01

  He has a very popular podcast called Risk. Where you talk kind of scary stories. Have you done Risk?

• 1:15:16Mark Normand?

  Uh, many years ago, yes.

• 1:15:17Speaker 01

  Did you fart on him?

• 1:15:17Mark Normand?

  Nah, didn't have one loaded. But what the hell, the guy in the middle.

• 1:15:21Speaker 01

  That's a bummer because he probably, he might be into it.

• 1:15:23Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:15:24Speaker 01

  He's probably of the state your best audience for that.

• 1:15:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay, good to know. Well, I took a risk. This guy in the brown jacket.

• 1:15:31Speaker 01

  Joe LoTruglio.

• 1:15:32Mark Normand?

  Joe, he does a.

• 1:15:33Speaker 01

  I'm often mistaken for Joe LoTruglio.

• 1:15:34Mark Normand?

  What is the scene where he's on drugs?

• 1:15:36Speaker 01

  Super Troopers.

• 1:15:36Mark Normand?

  That's it. I couldn't pinpoint it.

• 1:15:39Speaker 01

  Super Troopers.

• 1:15:40Mark Normand?

  So good.

• 1:15:41Speaker 01

  Still cold, dog.

• 1:15:42Mark Normand?

  Super Troopers.

• 1:15:43Sam Morril?

  I think he's in both.

• 1:15:44Speaker 01

  Is Joe in Super Troopers?

• 1:15:45Sam Morril?

  He might be in both.

• 1:15:46Speaker 01

  Joe's, I know, in Super Bad.

• 1:15:48Speaker 03

  What's his last name?

• 1:15:49Speaker 01

  Uh, Joe LoTruglio with a L O and then capital T again. Yeah. He is the member of the state that I'm most often mistaken for.

• 1:15:57Mark Normand?

  No, I don't see it.

• 1:15:58Speaker 01

  Otherwise, I'm mistaken for a member of the kids in the home quite a bit.

• 1:16:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, Bruce?

• 1:16:02Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 1:16:02Mark Normand?

  Or Dave?

• 1:16:03Speaker 01

  I think I'm more, I don't know.

• 1:16:04Speaker 03

  He's not in Super Troopers.

• 1:16:05Speaker 01

  Dave?

• 1:16:05Sam Morril?

  Oh, he's not? Who's the guy in Super Troopers?

• 1:16:08Mark Normand?

  Who the hell am I thinking of?

• 1:16:09Speaker 01

  You're thinking of, uh, uh.

• 1:16:10Mark Normand?

  That's who I was thinking of, though. You nailed it.

• 1:16:12Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:16:12Mark Normand?

  But that.

• 1:16:13Speaker 01

  Joe LoTruglio's in, he's in, um. Joe's in, I mean, a million movies.

• 1:16:18Mark Normand?

  Christina Hendricks. Ex-husband.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  That's not Joe's, not Joe's never married to, no.

• 1:16:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, Jesus.

• 1:16:22Speaker 01

  Joe's never married to Christina Hendricks.

• 1:16:24Mark Normand?

  That guy was married to her?

• 1:16:25Sam Morril?

  We've been through this on the pod before. We've literally done this before.

• 1:16:29Mark Normand?

  Well, we drink a lot on the podcast.

• 1:16:31Speaker 01

  I made a terrific movie with Christina Hendricks. You can watch it. It's called, uh, Pottersville.

• 1:16:35Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 1:16:36Speaker 01

  At one point, it was at an actual zero on Rotten Tomatoes.

• 1:16:39Mark Normand?

  What? Whoa.

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  I think now it's at like a sixteen. Can we go to Rotten Tomatoes, Pottersville?

• 1:16:44Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:16:45Speaker 01

  Me, Chris, uh-

• 1:16:46Sam Morril?

  Zero's crazy.

• 1:16:47Mark Normand?

  That's crazy.

• 1:16:47Speaker 01

  Zero's almost impossible because you have to have enough reviews-

• 1:16:50Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:16:51Speaker 01

  To-

• 1:16:52Mark Normand?

  To equal zero.

• 1:16:53Speaker 01

  To register fourteen percent.

• 1:16:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, right. Yeah, but look at that popcorn meter.

• 1:16:56Speaker 01

  That is... It only is good by comparison to, but again, another thing about life? Look at my, the biggest hit I've ever been affiliated with? It's just both ends.

• 1:17:06Mark Normand?

  Sorry, sorry.

• 1:17:08Speaker 01

  Uh... Look at Night in the Museum.

• 1:17:10Sam Morril?

  It's like having a baby on the podcast.

• 1:17:13Speaker 01

  The biggest hit of my entire life? That I've ever been a part of, Night in the Museum on Rotten Tomatoes is probably what, forty-something? Maybe?

• 1:17:19Mark Normand?

  Whoa, that's crazy. Whoa.

• 1:17:22Speaker 01

  Welcome to my fucking life.

• 1:17:23Mark Normand?

  So you never know.

• 1:17:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but it's got, look at the popcorn meter. It's still not that good.

• 1:17:26Mark Normand?

  That's an F. That's an F.

• 1:17:28Speaker 01

  That's a, yeah. See, that's a terrible review.

• 1:17:31Sam Morril?

  But is that crazy when you write that? Are you like, this is gonna be so well received, or what?

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  I, I've stopped thinking that a long, long time ago.

• 1:17:37Mark Normand?

  Wow, you wrote that.

• 1:17:38Speaker 01

  And even worrying about it because-

• 1:17:40Mark Normand?

  That's impressive.

• 1:17:40Speaker 01

  You know, comedy generally doesn't get reviewed that well.

• 1:17:44Mark Normand?

  You got that right.

• 1:17:45Speaker 01

  You know, but I mean, it's about to have its fourth or fifth film.

• 1:17:49Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:17:49Speaker 01

  So it's like, you know, you gotta... Oh, thank you. Did you just rate it nicely? Thank you.

• 1:17:54Mark Normand?

  Good man.

• 1:17:55Speaker 01

  For fuck's sake.

• 1:17:55Mark Normand?

  He's not a member. Did you get to, uh, direct that as well?

• 1:17:59Speaker 01

  No, no, god, no. That's, uh, Sean Levy, probably the biggest director in Hollywood currently.

• 1:18:03Mark Normand?

  Wait, what has, uh, Levy done?

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  He just did one called, uh, Wolverine Deadpool versus Wolverine.

• 1:18:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's pretty large.

• 1:18:09Speaker 01

  Picture, yeah.

• 1:18:10Sam Morril?

  Pretty big.

• 1:18:11Mark Normand?

  Very, geez, I've never heard of him. You heard of this guy?

• 1:18:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, Sean Levy.

• 1:18:14Mark Normand?

  I'm an idiot.

• 1:18:15Speaker 01

  It's a huge deal.

• 1:18:16Mark Normand?

  I don't know Levy.

• 1:18:16Speaker 01

  You'd like him, he's a good guy.

• 1:18:18Mark Normand?

  Okay, great.

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  Don't rip a fart on him when you meet.

• 1:18:20Mark Normand?

  I won't.

• 1:18:21Speaker 03

  Quick question. So when my kid goes to night of the museum night at the museum.

• 1:18:26Speaker 01

  Do I get a little kickback from that? I do.

• 1:18:28Speaker 03

  Do you get kickbacks from this outfit?

• 1:18:30Speaker 01

  I get a very small kickback from that outfit.

• 1:18:32Mark Normand?

  Whoa!

• 1:18:33Speaker 01

  It's not as good as you would think. Yeah. No, I don't get anything from when they go to the museum. No, from the outfit, that isn't officially licensed Lieutenant Dangle outfit.

• 1:18:40Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 1:18:41Speaker 01

  Uh, I, I'm gonna tell you right now, I don't do as well as you would like. And, and I'm just gonna, can I quickly, if we're starting fucking feuds?

• 1:18:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, hell yeah.

• 1:18:51Speaker 01

  Uh, I'm gonna start a real, real, actual feud.

• 1:18:53Mark Normand?

  Bring it on, fatty.

• 1:18:55Speaker 01

  I'm gonna give a great big F you to Spirit Halloween.

• 1:18:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, shit!

• 1:19:01Speaker 01

  Now here's what I'm gonna say, if you try to find the Lieutenant Dangle outfit at Spirit Halloween, you're not gonna find it. You know why? Tell me. Cause look up Sergeant Short Pants.

• 1:19:11Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 1:19:11Speaker 01

  At Spirit Halloween, they've made up their own.

• 1:19:14Mark Normand?

  They ripped you off.

• 1:19:15Speaker 01

  They've made up their own Lieutenant Dangle outfit as if there's just always cops in shorts. There we go.

• 1:19:23Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 1:19:25Sam Morril?

  Yo, give him a bad review, dude.

• 1:19:26Speaker 01

  Uh, no, that, that might be the official again.

• 1:19:28Mark Normand?

  This is.

• 1:19:29Speaker 01

  No, no, no, Sergeant Short Pants, cop costume. Yeah, so they, they've made up.

• 1:19:32Mark Normand?

  It's a T-Mo version.

• 1:19:33Speaker 01

  They've made up their own version of it.

• 1:19:34Sam Morril?

  It's getting some good reviews, look at that.

• 1:19:36Speaker 01

  It's got great reviews, you fucking assholes.

• 1:19:38Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 1:19:40Speaker 01

  Um, this, the, the knockoff Lieutenant Dangle outfit has better reviews than Night of the Museum.

• 1:19:48Speaker 01

  Welcome, welcome to my fucking life.

• 1:19:50Mark Normand?

  Wow, Spirit, you cunts. This is why your airline went under.

• 1:19:54Speaker 01

  You guys, this is why you fucked up your airline. Oh no, you can give it a good review, it's alright. Hey, you know what, a rising tide lifts all ships.

• 1:20:01Mark Normand?

  Say you ripped a guy off.

• 1:20:02Speaker 01

  Pay my man.

• 1:20:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah!

• 1:20:05Sam Morril?

  Hey, and if you're listening to the podcast, go to Spirit Halloween and destroy it.

• 1:20:09Speaker 01

  Please, no, no, no, no, no, no, a rising tide lifts all ships. But you can also get the official one some fucking place.

• 1:20:15Sam Morril?

  Alright, don't destroy it. Hold your fire!

• 1:20:18Speaker 01

  Not that this is an ad for Amazon, but I think they have the real one.

• 1:20:21Sam Morril?

  They need a boost.

• 1:20:21Speaker 01

  You're wearing the real one over there, that's the real one over there, it looks good.

• 1:20:24Mark Normand?

  Hell yeah. I always wondered, no offense to you there, Tom. I always wonder how guys like you stay rich. And then it's stuff like this, these little nickel and dime things, there's streams of revenue coming in.

• 1:20:36Sam Morril?

  Did you just say, I wonder how guys like you stay rich?

• 1:20:39Mark Normand?

  Well, you've been in the game for six decades.

• 1:20:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:43Mark Normand?

  So you always wonder, ah, is it Peter, does it Fizzle?

• 1:20:45Sam Morril?

  I'm glad the fart wasn't the most insulting thing you've done.

• 1:20:48Mark Normand?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 1:20:49Speaker 01

  No, no, but here's what, the real secret to that is take, every time you get paid, take 10% of it and put it in the stock market.

• 1:20:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that right?

• 1:20:55Sam Morril?

  It's a good idea.

• 1:20:56Speaker 01

  Someone's telling you that right now?

• 1:20:57Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:20:58Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck. You need a time machine where I tell you that like 20 years ago?

• 1:21:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, just do that forever.

• 1:21:03Sam Morril?

  Now fuck that dude FanDuel. Go Knicks. Go Knicks.

• 1:21:08Speaker 01

  Or, or FanDuel.

• 1:21:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:12Speaker 01

  Lads.

• 1:21:12Sam Morril?

  Well, yeah, well dude, it's been, it's been awesome having you.

• 1:21:15Mark Normand?

  This is a great time.

• 1:21:16Sam Morril?

  This has been a great episode.

• 1:21:17Speaker 01

  You wanna go spend some real money in the garment district?

• 1:21:19Sam Morril?

  Yes, let's do it.

• 1:21:21Mark Normand?

  Let's make our own short shorts.

• 1:21:23Sam Morril?

  Pull up the movie one more time.

• 1:21:24Speaker 01

  Uh, Gail Daughtry, it's a great picture, G A I L.

• 1:21:27Mark Normand?

  Sex.

• 1:21:27Speaker 01

  Gail Daughtry in the celebrity sex.

• 1:21:28Sam Morril?

  Where can people see it?

• 1:21:29Speaker 01

  Oh, there's a trailer. It comes out July 10th, everywhere in the world. It's in real movie theaters.

• 1:21:33Mark Normand?

  Hell yeah.

• 1:21:34Speaker 01

  Real movie theaters, July 10th. If you like anything but the state, Camarino, David Wayne.

• 1:21:39Mark Normand?

  Love it.

• 1:21:40Speaker 01

  These are the people behind Wet Hot American Summer, obviously.

• 1:21:42Mark Normand?

  Wanderlust.

• 1:21:43Speaker 01

  Wanderlust and The Ten and, uh, you know.

• 1:21:48Mark Normand?

  All the good.

• 1:21:48Speaker 01

  It's a great premise of a picture. It's a premise so funny, I was like, are they, is this gonna get made? And then they, they made it.

• 1:21:53Mark Normand?

  Isn't that funny? It was so funny that you're worried it won't not get made.

• 1:21:56Speaker 01

  Sometimes it's so funny you worry, is it really gonna get made? Yeah. But this one did get made. Oh, it's in a 74, holy shit.

• 1:22:00Mark Normand?

  Hey, it's quite an upgrade from Night of the Mew.

• 1:22:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's almost, it's almost double.

• 1:22:06Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:22:07Speaker 01

  Almost double, The Night at the Museum.

• 1:22:10Mark Normand?

  I worry about these long titles sometimes.

• 1:22:12Speaker 01

  It was actually, I think it was longer.

• 1:22:14Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:22:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:16Mark Normand?

  You know, it's like whatever Jackie and Johnny make up porno.

• 1:22:19Speaker 01

  We're looking at your tour dates, we're plugging dates.

• 1:22:20Mark Normand?

  Plugging dates, baby.

• 1:22:22Speaker 01

  What do we got? June 7th. Let's see, where is the closest you are to anywhere I live? All right. Brookfield, Wisconsin.

• 1:22:26Mark Normand?

  I'm going to Milwaukee.

• 1:22:27Speaker 01

  You're being Milwaukee?

• 1:22:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, if you wanna, uh, do a guest set.

• 1:22:30Speaker 01

  June 6th.

• 1:22:32Mark Normand?

  At the improv.

• 1:22:33Speaker 01

  I will be very, I don't get to Milwaukee till like the couple of days after that.

• 1:22:37Mark Normand?

  Okay, that's what they all say.

• 1:22:38Speaker 01

  Milwaukee's a beautiful town, hiding in plain sight.

• 1:22:39Sam Morril?

  Love Milwaukee.

• 1:22:40Mark Normand?

  I love Milwaukee.

• 1:22:41Speaker 01

  Hiding in plain sight.

• 1:22:41Sam Morril?

  It's awesome.

• 1:22:42Speaker 01

  If somebody was very smart and they were looking for a cool place to live, that wasn't like, already crowded and a bummer.

• 1:22:48Mark Normand?

  The cold though.

• 1:22:49Speaker 01

  Milwaukee.

• 1:22:50Sam Morril?

  But it's a great city.

• 1:22:51Mark Normand?

  It's a great city.

• 1:22:52Sam Morril?

  Underrated.

• 1:22:52Mark Normand?

  I'm going in June, I'm excited.

• 1:22:53Speaker 01

  That's why Prince stayed in Minneapolis.

• 1:22:55Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 1:22:56Speaker 01

  Keeps away some of the kooks.

• 1:22:57Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:22:58Speaker 01

  Who's playing fucking Budapest?

• 1:22:59Sam Morril?

  Me.

• 1:23:00Mark Normand?

  Hold on.

• 1:23:00Sam Morril?

  And by the way, tickets still available in Budapest. That one is looking rough.

• 1:23:04Mark Normand?

  Not that many.

• 1:23:05Sam Morril?

  No, no, everything else is moving.

• 1:23:07Speaker 01

  Let's see what's available.

• 1:23:08Sam Morril?

  Hey, uh.

• 1:23:09Speaker 01

  What's the best seat I can get in Budapest?

• 1:23:11Sam Morril?

  Lisbon's doing great, Athens doing great, adding a show in Warsaw.

• 1:23:15Speaker 01

  When are you gonna be in Athens?

• 1:23:17Sam Morril?

  Uh, I don't know.

• 1:23:19Speaker 01

  It's the hottest city in the world, and I don't mean that in the best way.

• 1:23:22Mark Normand?

  Athens is warm.

• 1:23:23Speaker 03

  This is the best seats you can get.

• 1:23:24Sam Morril?

  Alright.

• 1:23:25Speaker 01

  That's the best seat I can get, right there?

• 1:23:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's twenty-eight gherkes.

• 1:23:28Speaker 01

  Twenty-eight gherkes?

• 1:23:30Mark Normand?

  That's a lot of pickles.

• 1:23:30Speaker 01

  You pay even actual pickles.

• 1:23:34Speaker 01

  Man.

• 1:23:34Sam Morril?

  Two cornishones.

• 1:23:35Speaker 01

  I knew their economy was fucked up, I didn't know it was like, like pickle.

• 1:23:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, dill dill's y'all.

• 1:23:40Speaker 01

  It's a pickle economy.

• 1:23:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we got, uh, what do I have there?

• 1:23:43Speaker 01

  You know Zagreb, you're gonna kill it in Zagreb.

• 1:23:44Sam Morril?

  Oh Zagreb, dude, we're doing well in Zagreb, Budapest not looking great, Vienna, Warsaw.

• 1:23:49Speaker 01

  But you're gonna have fun, you have fun.

• 1:23:50Sam Morril?

  Adding a second show, Helsinki, Stockholm and Copenhagen, gonna be a lot of fun.

• 1:23:54Mark Normand?

  Hell yeah.

• 1:23:55Speaker 01

  I just learned that that's how you fucking spell Copenhagen, it blew my mind.

• 1:23:58Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:23:59Speaker 01

  I didn't even know that looked like a word.

• 1:24:00Sam Morril?

  It's a great city.

• 1:24:01Mark Normand?

  Great, beautiful town.

• 1:24:02Sam Morril?

  Mark, where are you gonna be?

• 1:24:03Mark Normand?

  I'll be at the Irvine Improv, come on out, it's a big room. We got, we got, uh, one show left to sell out, then we got the Tempe Improv.

• 1:24:09Speaker 01

  I think they're picturing me backstage at the Irvine Improv, not to brag.

• 1:24:11Sam Morril?

  I think there is.

• 1:24:12Speaker 01

  Can I tell you why it's there? I think it got moved from there.

• 1:24:15Mark Normand?

  Uh oh.

• 1:24:16Speaker 01

  From the Hollywood one, and they're just like, ah, move, here you can go, yeah.

• 1:24:19Sam Morril?

  Irvine's a good one.

• 1:24:21Speaker 01

  I got moved down to Irvine.

• 1:24:22Mark Normand?

  Great, great club.

• 1:24:23Sam Morril?

  It's a good club though.

• 1:24:24Mark Normand?

  Uh, Mark Ridley's in Detroit area, Royal Oak, uh, Cleveland, Hilarities, and Seattle, Emerald City, sidespitz in Tampa, and the clubhouse in the Hamptons.

• 1:24:35Speaker 01

  Cobbs.

• 1:24:35Mark Normand?

  Coming out to that, Cobbs in San Fran.

• 1:24:37Speaker 01

  You got a couple nights, Cobbs is, um, here's the thing about Cobbs, you don't even need to be good to play Cobbs.

• 1:24:44Speaker 01

  Cobbs is such a friendly place.

• 1:24:47Mark Normand?

  Great crowds.

• 1:24:48Speaker 01

  You could just try.

• 1:24:49Mark Normand?

  I'll fart up there.

• 1:24:50Speaker 01

  You could just try stuff out, yeah. You can really try stuff out and, because San Francisco and Cobbs in particular.

• 1:24:55Mark Normand?

  The best.

• 1:24:56Speaker 01

  One of the best places in the world.

• 1:24:57Mark Normand?

  Nashville and Pittsburgh and Calgary.

• 1:25:02Sam Morril?

  You'd have to cancel some of these if we shoot that movie, but.

• 1:25:04Mark Normand?

  You better believe it.

• 1:25:04Sam Morril?

  It looks like we're shooting it, so.

• 1:25:06Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:25:06Sam Morril?

  That's what I hear, fingers crossed.

• 1:25:08Mark Normand?

  Alright, I'll believe it when I see it.

• 1:25:10Sam Morril?

  Awesome to hang out with you, Thomas.

• 1:25:12Speaker 01

  My absolute pleasure.

• 1:25:12Sam Morril?

  Nice to meet you.

• 1:25:13Mark Normand?

  This is a treat and an honor.

• 1:25:14Sam Morril?

  Cheers.

• 1:25:16Mark Normand?

  Hey, Demorsey.