Matteo Lane and Nick Smith Survive the Rainforest

Matteo Lane and Nick Smith enter the TigerBelly jungle, and Khalyla appears with a puppy. We chat panda cubs, Coachella culture, anti-animal agenda, surviving a rainforest apocalypse, gay mafia conspiracies, eating habits, zombie survival plans, spiraling into an identity crisis. Join the membership for where you live at www.joinbilt.com/belly http://www.joinbilt.com/belly. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit www.hims.com/belly http://www.hims.com/belly See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:29Bobby Lee?

  I'm on my finally tour, and come check me out. You're near a city. I have a graphic novel out called Bobby Lee Deadweight. It's on gutner.com, also available on Amazon.

• 2:06Bobby Lee?

  Can you turn it up a little bit?

• 2:12Speaker 03

  Am I singing like an intro to the show?

• 2:15Bobby Lee?

  Whatever you want to talk about.

• 2:16Speaker 03

  Um, welcome.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  It's been two ye-

• 2:24Speaker 03

  And I'm back on the show. And I brought my fragile thing. Hello, everybody.

• 2:35Bobby Lee?

  Hello.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  Hi.

• 2:36Bobby Lee?

  We have Nick Smith and Mateo Lang. Give them a round of applause, everybody. It's been a while. It's been a couple of years since we've had you on, Mateo. You're new, Nick.

• 2:44Speaker 04

  I am.

• 2:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:45Speaker 03

  I forgot how powerful your voice is.

• 2:47Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 2:48Speaker 03

  Like, it just is like-

• 2:50Bobby Lee?

  I know, it's too much.

• 2:51Speaker 03

  No, it's not too much, but inside, it's like I feel the vibration.

• 2:54Bobby Lee?

  Well, I think you have dictator vibes. You know what I mean? Like a Kim Jong-un-y.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  But just the vibes.

• 3:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I only have the vibes. Excuse me?

• 3:02Speaker 04

  I was like, do I need these?

• 3:03Bobby Lee?

  You don't need them. Am I too loud?

• 3:05Speaker 03

  No.

• 3:05Speaker 04

  Actually-

• 3:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. What does this mean?

• 3:08Speaker 04

  It's too much.

• 3:11Speaker 04

  You're already at an 11.

• 3:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could go back to a 9.

• 3:16Speaker 04

  Could you?

• 3:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't think I can. I don't, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's too much. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Nick, you're new to the podcast. Welcome.

• 3:22Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 3:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you guys have a podcast as well?

• 3:24Speaker 04

  We do, unfortunately.

• 3:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. What is it called?

• 3:27Speaker 03

  I never lied to you.

• 3:28Bobby Lee?

  I never lied to you. But you guys do like each other?

• 3:30Speaker 04

  No. Debat. Contractually, we love each other.

• 3:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. What is something that you guys disagree on?

• 3:35Speaker 03

  Almost. There's a lot we do agree on, but we do agree-

• 3:38Speaker 04

  It's not necessarily-

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Disagree on everything.

• 3:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:40Speaker 04

  Well, when we first met each other, we did not like each other.

• 3:44Bobby Lee?

  Right. The way you shower.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  Well, because we're-

• 3:46Bobby Lee?

  12.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  He's 6'7". He must be so miserable in every shower, but-

• 3:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  No, we met through Bob the Drag Queen, and then he brought him in. Bob's like, oh, he has no gay friends. And then we met him, we're like, yeah, now we know why.

• 3:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so the gays don't even like you, Nick?

• 4:01Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 4:01Speaker 04

  Well, these gays, apparently.

• 4:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, there's, are there different types?

• 4:05Speaker 04

  There are a lot of different types, buddy.

• 4:06Bobby Lee?

  I don't know the world. I'm-

• 4:07Speaker 04

  Don't act like you do.

• 4:08Speaker 03

  How I've lived and lost and lived in the entertainment industry this long, and you've been friends with me, and suddenly you have no idea there's different types of gays?

• 4:16Bobby Lee?

  I don't know the-

• 4:16Speaker 04

  You're wearing those glasses, and you don't know types of gays?

• 4:19Speaker 03

  Evidently, you know Elton John, so you know one type of gay.

• 4:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, all right. I know Brian Singer.

• 4:25Speaker 04

  Well, that's- That's a different.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  That's a different type of gay.

• 4:29Bobby Lee?

  That's a different type of gay, right? Right, right?

• 4:31Speaker 03

  Of all gay people that existed, you jumped to Brian Singer.

• 4:36Bobby Lee?

  I'll tell you why.

• 4:37Speaker 03

  Why?

• 4:37Bobby Lee?

  Can I tell you why?

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 4:38Bobby Lee?

  Because a long, long time ago, right? I, and this, I don't wanna, I'm just gonna say it, okay?

• 4:44Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 4:45Bobby Lee?

  All right, so every Friday night, I would go to the IHOP next to the Comedy Store.

• 4:49Speaker 04

  I love.

• 4:49Bobby Lee?

  Which you love, right?

• 4:50Speaker 04

  I love IHOP.

• 4:51Bobby Lee?

  And I would see the gay mafia there.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  And who was involved?

• 4:54Bobby Lee?

  It was Singer.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:56Bobby Lee?

  Spacey.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 4:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was all.

• 4:58Speaker 03

  They hung out?

• 4:59Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  You think they were plotting at IHOP? Do you think like you, like, you know, sometimes you're like, post AA meetings are always at like a diner?

• 5:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  Like you get vibing and stuff like that.

• 5:08Bobby Lee?

  That's what it is.

• 5:08Speaker 03

  Right, but that's like a positive talk? And then you go to IHOP and they're just plotting the demise of.

• 5:13Bobby Lee?

  The meeting after the meeting.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Right.

• 5:15Bobby Lee?

  Are you, are you in 12 steps?

• 5:16Speaker 03

  No, I'm not.

• 5:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:17Speaker 03

  But every single one of my friends, of, yeah, of course, Bobby.

• 5:20Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  Every, this isn't shocking.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  But, but all my friends, literally all my friends are in the program.

• 5:29Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  To the point where I'm always like, there's no crosstalk. So I just, I'm very much, yeah. I always wanna bother, you know Evan Williams, right?

• 5:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:36Speaker 03

  I wanna, I wanna humiliate him, cause he's always so proud of himself for the speeches he gives, but in front of me, he can't. So I wanna like sneak into one of his meetings and be like, oh, what's up everyone? Uh, TJ, oh, gosh. Uh, there's, uh, and I wanna be like, sir, there's no crosstalk, ma'am.

• 5:55Bobby Lee?

  Okay, you know stuff.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's called a pitch.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  Right.

• 5:59Bobby Lee?

  Right, so when I'm in an AA meeting, right?

• 6:01Speaker 03

  It's so Hollywood.

• 6:01Bobby Lee?

  It's so Hollywood, but I have, when I, I've been asked to be the main speaker and I know, it's like a set. I know exactly what I'm gonna say, but none of it's real.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  But do you feel?

• 6:13Bobby Lee?

  None of it's real.

• 6:14Speaker 05

  Walk that back.

• 6:15Speaker 04

  How many times have you done these steps? Cause that doesn't seem.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  Run that back.

• 6:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, run it.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  It does not seem like it's doing.

• 6:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I never talk about the steps, ever, cause I don't know much about them.

• 6:25Speaker 03

  You, you must, like.

• 6:27Bobby Lee?

  I've done them, but I don't know much about them.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 6:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:30Speaker 03

  The point is, is you're sober, that's all that counts.

• 6:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm sober, I go to the meetings.

• 6:34Speaker 04

  Good.

• 6:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but, but sometimes I'll, they'll go, can you be the main speaker? So I have a comedy, also a real spit, it's gross, I know.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  Hold on, is it, how much time are you doing?

• 6:44Bobby Lee?

  Forty-five minutes.

• 6:45Speaker 03

  Forty-five minutes?

• 6:47Bobby Lee?

  Getting paid. I'm headlining.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  But are you doing the same thing every time? Do you ever just like?

• 6:51Speaker 04

  In the back of a church?

• 6:52Bobby Lee?

  Yes, in the back of a church.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  But are you ever finding yourself like subconsciously soliloquing into your act?

• 6:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  You're like, and that's when I was, has anyone ever been to TGI Friday on Tuesday?

• 7:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes there's pockets where your gut goes, this is where you put a joke.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course.

• 7:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'll get a laugh.

• 7:09Speaker 03

  I do that, I don't know if you guys do that in therapy? Like, I'll be in therapy and I'm like, well, I have to insert a joke.

• 7:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:15Speaker 03

  You know, the timing is perfect.

• 7:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, here's what happened one time. I was main speaking at a club, at a, right? They had a podium, right?

• 7:23Speaker 04

  The club of Christ.

• 7:27Bobby Lee?

  So there was a podium, right? And they had like, you know, a booklet, like, it was like a, um, where you do the, um, uh, how it works? And people read off of it, birthdays, it's like a folder. And it dropped. And I, I'm speaking and I went down to pick it up, but I did 45 seconds of just not being there. And then I came up, I finally got it and that got a laugh.

• 7:48Speaker 04

  And they still didn't see you above the podium?

• 7:49Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  God.

• 7:52Bobby Lee?

  See, this is why.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  Sorry, Nick. Sorry, not everyone, sorry, all they would see of you is your ankles, you fucking freak. Jesus Christ.

• 7:59Bobby Lee?

  Mateo, now I get Nick.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's a monster.

• 8:02Bobby Lee?

  With that comment, I get it. Yeah, you're a monster. All right, but I love you.

• 8:05Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  You don't have to say things you don't mean.

• 8:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  You can just say, be me.

• 8:08Bobby Lee?

  When I say types of gays is in.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  Oh, I forgot that.

• 8:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I remember everything.

• 8:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, you said Brian's there.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  The memory of a bear trap.

• 8:18Bobby Lee?

  All right, so, um, for, are there like, like Silver Lake? Is there like?

• 8:23Speaker 03

  We live in New York.

• 8:24Speaker 04

  I was gonna say, LA, we're not super familiar with, other than WeHo.

• 8:27Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay. But it, uh, I don't, I want.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  You're not gonna offend us.

• 8:32Bobby Lee?

  Oh, oh, oh, oh.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  What could you possibly say in this that's not been uttered? You had Ari on earlier. This is child's play.

• 8:39Bobby Lee?

  Or common gay body types.

• 8:42Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 8:42Bobby Lee?

  Work. I know the bear.

• 8:43Speaker 03

  Now, hold on a second.

• 8:45Speaker 04

  Let's determine which one Bobby is.

• 8:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:47Speaker 06

  He's, well, he's more in the last couple of lines.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Question, no. Where, where's Slenderman for Nick?

• 8:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:59Bobby Lee?

  You are Slenderman, oh my god.

• 9:00Speaker 04

  Was that funny?

• 9:01Bobby Lee?

  It was to be funny, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a spooky look in the night. Yeah, yeah, like if I was in a house and it was dark, you would have a spooky, like the, like the, um, Ring Girl. You know what I mean?

• 9:14Speaker 04

  I do know what you mean.

• 9:14Bobby Lee?

  Samara, Samara.

• 9:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:16Bobby Lee?

  If I, there was a Japanese girl that I was living with in the dark, I would be scared. And if I had Slenderman living with me, I'd be scared as well.

• 9:22Speaker 04

  Alright.

• 9:22Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so let's look at the body type.

• 9:26Bobby Lee?

  I had, yeah, yeah. Well, you were gonna tell me what I had.

• 9:29Speaker 03

  I don't think the twink is following exactly what it's.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  There are bears, but this will be useful. They call Asian bears pandas.

• 9:40Speaker 04

  So Bobby could be like a panda cub, because you're not quite a bear.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  Is that true, Nick?

• 9:46Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 9:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so I'm a panda cub in the scene?

• 9:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and now, um, is there, are they attractive to me?

• 9:54Speaker 04

  Who attractive to you?

• 9:56Bobby Lee?

  If I'm at a club, I'm at, you know what I mean?

• 9:58Speaker 04

  Everyone has people that they're attracted to.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  Have you danced?

• 10:02Bobby Lee?

  Like a panda?

• 10:03Speaker 04

  Like that, no.

• 10:04Bobby Lee?

  Like a panda, dude.

• 10:05Speaker 03

  Raindrops keep falling on my head.

• 10:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude, I'm in a zoo, I just was born, you know what I mean? There's an audience, it was born.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  I do like those videos of pandas.

• 10:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Like pick them up.

• 10:16Bobby Lee?

  I'm chewing on bamboo. You imagine, I'm at the club with a bam bam bam bam. Oh, he can.

• 10:21Speaker 04

  You got bamboo in your mouth.

• 10:22Bobby Lee?

  I just, yeah.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  Bamboo?

• 10:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, whatever.

• 10:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:24Bobby Lee?

  And so, um, yeah, I don't know how to do it, but my, um.

• 10:28Speaker 04

  Wait, you did it right the first time. I don't know how to do it.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  I don't know how to do it.

• 10:32Speaker 04

  I'm throwing it at the first time.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  Meanwhile, a mime trying to do it with blush at the fact that you did it so perfectly.

• 10:38Bobby Lee?

  I have done it before.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Good.

• 10:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, anyway.

• 10:41Speaker 03

  Wait, when, where?

• 10:42Bobby Lee?

  In high school.

• 10:43Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, a couple of times.

• 10:44Speaker 04

  Willingly?

• 10:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, willingly.

• 10:46Speaker 04

  Okay, great.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  Good for you.

• 10:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because I'm, I'm an explorer.

• 10:49Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 10:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I'm sort of.

• 10:50Speaker 04

  So is Magellan.

• 10:50Bobby Lee?

  Magellan, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was gonna say Columbus. Yeah, yeah. But you took it. You went on the same.

• 10:55Speaker 04

  You were exploring.

• 10:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so, so men would find me attractive, like, would I get some action?

• 11:01Speaker 04

  You were the one sucking and you got sucked.

• 11:02Speaker 03

  Bobby, you're good looking, why wouldn't you, why would you have trouble?

• 11:04Bobby Lee?

  Because I'll tell you this, if I'm at a straight club, right?

• 11:08Speaker 03

  A nightmare.

• 11:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really don't get, I've never gone to a club and went, oh, I got somebody's number.

• 11:16Speaker 03

  But also, you're a comic. You want to go to a club and get someone's number?

• 11:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  Those are the people you want to get a number from. They're waiting for two hours outside.

• 11:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:25Speaker 03

  They're waiting outside. You have to drive by and you're like, oh, God.

• 11:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I mean, I've done it and it doesn't work.

• 11:32Speaker 03

  But you are, you're like, if you're at a comedy club, it's so much cooler.

• 11:35Bobby Lee?

  It's easier.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  You're onstage, they wait to come see. Yeah.

• 11:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's much easier.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  You're like a successful comic.

• 11:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  Run down with a bunch of 21-year-olds and be like, this is my moment to meet some hot chick. Like, what's wrong with you?

• 11:46Bobby Lee?

  Well, let's segue to Coachella. You had questions about it?

• 11:48Speaker 03

  I do have questions.

• 11:49Speaker 04

  We have lots of questions.

• 11:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we just, we were just, oh, you didn't actually go?

• 11:53Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 11:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:54Speaker 06

  I was there with the intention of going, didn't end up going, but I was still in Palm Springs with a, with a gang.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  Had you been before?

• 12:00Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:01Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 12:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So she has some life experience?

• 12:04Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 12:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. What are your questions about Coachella?

• 12:06Speaker 03

  Well, because I've never been to Coachella, but it's so fascinating to watch like the post Coachella reaction on YouTube and like, obviously it's like the sensational stuff of like, like this person spent $34,000 and then they show these clips, she's like, so like, yeah, um, Coachella cost me about like $78,000. First of all, I got, then I'm watching some gay guy, like rearrange, he's like, all right, so obviously, he's dressed like he's going to the fucking Hamptons and he's in a fucking tent.

• 12:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:32Speaker 03

  And he's like, so I thought last year I put in mattress and I thought, no, no mattress this time. To save space, I have a corner couch that's blow up now. You have to give it accessory. And after that, I put a director's chair. Now, if you look down here, and I'm like, hold on a second. This guy is like, and it's amazing.

• 12:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's amazing.

• 12:49Speaker 03

  Like, good for him. I heard it blew away.

• 12:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  Which is kind of, you know, but the video exists and that I can get behind.

• 12:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  But it's like, what, is this the experience or it's either that?

• 13:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  Kylie Jenner is either in like a private jet flying down for four hours to fly back or people are shitting on themselves in the mud and eating pizza that's $48.

• 13:09Bobby Lee?

  I got more of a Kylie Jenner situation.

• 13:10Speaker 03

  How? How'd you hook it up?

• 13:13Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 13:14Speaker 03

  He's got money. How did you hook it up?

• 13:15Bobby Lee?

  No, it's not about, I didn't, no, it was the director of the, the whole festival happens to be a fan.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  Well, then I need to be next. I need to be a fan of us.

• 13:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  No, but I want to see what it's about.

• 13:28Speaker 04

  What do they do during the daytime?

• 13:29Speaker 06

  It's really up to you. I would say.

• 13:31Speaker 04

  There's music during the day.

• 13:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like.

• 13:33Speaker 04

  But like of food.

• 13:34Bobby Lee?

  Did you do stand up, Nick?

• 13:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. So you would be at during the day and he would be at night.

• 13:42Speaker 04

  So no one's coming during the day.

• 13:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's on the main stage or in some tent in the far, you know what I mean?

• 13:46Speaker 04

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:48Speaker 04

  So there's music during the day, but it's nobody, right?

• 13:51Bobby Lee?

  No, there are people that have an audience.

• 13:53Speaker 04

  Nobody.

• 13:54Bobby Lee?

  But they're not.

• 13:54Speaker 04

  I mean, like, the headliners aren't during the day.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, Sabrina and Madonna are going at night.

• 13:59Bobby Lee?

  At night, yeah. Was that one, one in the morning?

• 14:01Speaker 03

  Did you see Justin Bieber?

• 14:02Speaker 04

  One in the morning?

• 14:03Bobby Lee?

  He finished at one in the morning.

• 14:05Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 14:05Bobby Lee?

  And that's why I left.

• 14:06Speaker 03

  Finished.

• 14:07Speaker 04

  No.

• 14:07Speaker 03

  Finished, as if, as if he's at the end, like.

• 14:12Speaker 04

  YouTube?

• 14:13Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ. He did what I did to watch him. I mean, that's not a performance.

• 14:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what happens is, what happened was.

• 14:21Speaker 06

  Bobby loves the whole singing to himself to his old YouTube videos, Justin said. You loved it.

• 14:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 14:27Speaker 03

  I don't hate it. I mean, I don't hate it, but it's like, what else am I expecting?

• 14:31Bobby Lee?

  You're not gonna wait at one in the morning to do it.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  No.

• 14:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  Oh, that's usually when gays sit around showing each other their favorite YouTube videos anyway.

• 14:37Speaker 04

  Not of Justin Bieber.

• 14:38Speaker 03

  Well, no, sure, but it's the same, like, we like sitting around showing each other YouTube.

• 14:44Bobby Lee?

  Sure, yeah.

• 14:45Speaker 04

  Who's been your favorite performer you've ever seen at Coachella?

• 14:48Speaker 06

  Um, honestly, I don't think anyone can top Beyonce.

• 14:52Speaker 03

  No, she's, that's.

• 14:53Speaker 06

  Beyonce Coachella was like, like, it was insane. And it was just the tempo and the, the effort. It was like non-stop for three hours. I was, I was exhausted standing up just watching.

• 15:05Speaker 04

  Yeah. How many people are in the audience? Like, how many are attending?

• 15:08Speaker 06

  Um, like, if it's like you're, if you're in gen pop, you're. Jump pop, you know, with the, the rest of the crowd.

• 15:14Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 15:15Speaker 06

  Thousands.

• 15:16Bobby Lee?

  Not just thousands, you're talking about a hundred thousand.

• 15:20Speaker 06

  Uh, yeah, but then you can be off to the side and VIP and have your little, you know, section. Um, and then you can be like Bobby where you're like right up on the fence with your artist pass.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  Where?

• 15:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So I saw the strokes and, and my, so what you said Beyonce, she's trying, right?

• 15:36Speaker 03

  Beyonce doesn't try, she does.

• 15:37Bobby Lee?

  Okay, she, what do you mean?

• 15:39Speaker 03

  Just does. She, she's like a.

• 15:41Bobby Lee?

  Everyone does.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 15:42Speaker 04

  No.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 15:43Bobby Lee?

  Nick, what?

• 15:44Speaker 04

  You, be honest, you think Beyonce and Justin Bieber are doing the same thing?

• 15:50Bobby Lee?

  They're doing, but not the same thing, but they're still doing.

• 15:54Speaker 03

  Okay, that might have been the worst.

• 15:56Bobby Lee?

  No, it's not, it's not.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  That was the worst response ever.

• 15:59Bobby Lee?

  No, no, you're saying they're doing.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  What other verb am I going to use to describe the action of creating something? Do you find them equal in their performance?

• 16:07Bobby Lee?

  No, no, there's effort now.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  Who?

• 16:10Bobby Lee?

  So there's, there's effortless and effort. There's people that are, you know, you know, as comics, right? There are low energy comics that just kind of, and they don't move, right? And they have people like me who's a performer.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, but Todd Barry wasn't 20 years ago.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Do you see what I'm saying?

• 16:28Bobby Lee?

  Todd Barry's.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  Todd Barry's like.

• 16:29Bobby Lee?

  Like Steven Wright, you know what I mean?

• 16:31Speaker 03

  Right.

• 16:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  Like the chill, like funny guys, you know, that that energy would come to you.

• 16:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:35Speaker 03

  That's, it's always been that way. It's not like it evolved.

• 16:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but Bieber's doing a Todd Barry is what I'm saying.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  That would be amazing.

• 16:41Speaker 06

  On a Sunday, you had Carol G.

• 16:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:43Speaker 06

  And she was all effort. She brought out.

• 16:47Speaker 04

  Well, the women usually are Sabrina and Carol.

• 16:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I saw Sabrina, all effort.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  With Madonna?

• 16:52Bobby Lee?

  With Madonna.

• 16:53Speaker 03

  Did people cheer?

• 16:53Bobby Lee?

  All effort.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  Did cheer, people cheering when Madonna came out? Cause the rumor is that everyone kind of stood around watching.

• 16:58Speaker 06

  Well, I'll tell you why.

• 16:59Bobby Lee?

  No, I'll tell you.

• 17:00Speaker 06

  Well, my nieces were up front. My nieces are young girls and they, not only did they not know that it was Madonna, one of them asked, is that Charli XCX?

• 17:10Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 17:11Speaker 06

  Yeah, that they were, they were that lost about who this person was. And I'm like, oh my God.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  Who doesn't know Madonna?

• 17:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I would.

• 17:17Speaker 04

  Well, kids don't know.

• 17:18Speaker 06

  Yeah, kids don't.

• 17:19Bobby Lee?

  Why wouldn't they? Because if Paul McCartney went up there, everyone would know it was Paul McCartney.

• 17:23Speaker 03

  No.

• 17:23Speaker 06

  No, I don't think so.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  Although, you know what's great about?

• 17:26Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, wait, Nick, go.

• 17:27Speaker 04

  I don't even know if I could pick Paul McCartney.

• 17:30Bobby Lee?

  Are you fucking crazy?

• 17:32Speaker 04

  Compared to Madonna?

• 17:33Bobby Lee?

  Are you crazy? If you saw Paul McCartney walking down the street, you wouldn't go, oh, there's Paul McCartney?

• 17:39Speaker 04

  Maybe, but if I saw Madonna, I'd be like, there's fucking Madonna.

• 17:43Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  But that's the fag in me.

• 17:46Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay. And there must be gay in me because when Madonna came out, I had goosebumps.

• 17:52Speaker 04

  You gasped?

• 17:53Bobby Lee?

  Because I had no idea. It was a surprise. I gasped first.

• 17:56Speaker 04

  Clutched your pearls.

• 17:57Bobby Lee?

  I clutched my pearls, right, right, right? You know what I mean? I started shaking, right? And then I had goosebumps. And I go, because you first heard Vogue, the music.

• 18:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:08Bobby Lee?

  In your head, as a logical person, you're going, oh, she's

• 18:10Speaker 06

  Something's covering it.

• 18:11Bobby Lee?

  She's gonna do a cover of it, right? But then when you see Madonna come out, it was screaming.

• 18:18Speaker 04

  Right.

• 18:19Bobby Lee?

  Ah, ah, you know, like, I was, ah!

• 18:22Speaker 04

  But was everyone around you reacting this way?

• 18:24Bobby Lee?

  No, there were girls going, what's going on? Which disturbed me. Maybe that's a lot of it, too. No.

• 18:30Speaker 06

  I think a Sabrina Carpenter fan is very young.

• 18:34Speaker 04

  They're like Gen Z general.

• 18:35Bobby Lee?

  It's AI music, what she's doing.

• 18:37Speaker 06

  No, it's not.

• 18:38Speaker 04

  No, Sabrina Carpenter's talented.

• 18:40Speaker 06

  There's AI music, it's not that, I promise you.

• 18:42Bobby Lee?

  Don't put your finger at me.

• 18:43Speaker 06

  I'm sorry.

• 18:44Speaker 04

  Point it.

• 18:44Speaker 06

  But I'm gonna defend Sabrina. That is not AI music.

• 18:48Speaker 04

  Point two at him.

• 18:48Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 18:49Speaker 06

  You think that Sabrina is, she can actually do things.

• 18:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's the talented music.

• 18:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's very talented.

• 18:54Bobby Lee?

  May I make up my argument then? Sure.

• 18:56Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 18:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 19:13Bobby Lee?

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• 19:48Speaker 00

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• 20:06Bobby Lee?

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• 20:08Speaker 00

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• 20:10Bobby Lee?

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• 20:12Speaker 00

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• 20:14Bobby Lee?

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• 20:18Speaker 00

  It does not.

• 20:18Bobby Lee?

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• 20:45Speaker 00

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• 21:06Speaker 04

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• 21:23Bobby Lee?

  For Hims.

• 21:25Speaker 07

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• 21:57Speaker 00

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• 22:29Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 22:29Bobby Lee?

  Okay. You're not gonna, you know, can I just say something, Nick? Your attitude right now is because of Slenderman, you shifted. All right.

• 22:37Speaker 04

  You're gonna win me back, Bobby.

• 22:38Bobby Lee?

  Your ghostly look, right?

• 22:40Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 22:41Bobby Lee?

  All right. We were just pointing out the obvious, right?

• 22:44Speaker 04

  And I'll be on TV studios after this.

• 22:46Bobby Lee?

  All right. And you called me a baby panda.

• 22:48Speaker 03

  He's, he's Slenderman. I'm giving Jafar.

• 22:53Speaker 04

  Jafar at a deli.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  Jafar, Jafar at a deli. Like if Jafar worked at a deli. That's me, you know, I would have the.

• 23:00Speaker 04

  No, wait, I do want to hear your argument on why you think Sabrina's AI music.

• 23:04Bobby Lee?

  Okay, because even when I was a kid, right? I was more of a punk rock head.

• 23:08Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 23:09Bobby Lee?

  You mean, my roots start stem from the Velvet Underground to the Stooges and, you mean.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  The Three Stooges?

• 23:17Speaker 03

  Imagine.

• 23:18Bobby Lee?

  Hey, Mo.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  I like it's not underground.

• 23:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  These three guys, the Stooges, have you heard of them?

• 23:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I, um, no, I liked, you know, Iggy Pop and the Stooges, you know what I mean? So it's punk rock based, right? And when, when eighties pop came across, like Depeche Mode and the Smiths, right? They were kind of poppy. The Cure was kind of poppy, you know what I mean? And then when Madonna came out, it's, I mean, my punk rock, you know what I mean? Guy was resisting.

• 23:46Speaker 03

  Bobby is 41 or 70.

• 23:49Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 23:50Speaker 03

  I can't, because you don't age and you look great, but you're talking like, "You're back in my age." Like, when Madonna came out, like, if you had musical taste by the time Madonna came out, how old are you?

• 24:02Speaker 04

  Literally.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  What is this? Are you five pretending you're punk rock and you get the roots? Like, what is happening?

• 24:09Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I'm 54.

• 24:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, you look really good.

• 24:12Bobby Lee?

  Thank you.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  God damn, are you really 54?

• 24:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm 54, I'm 55 almost.

• 24:16Speaker 04

  Maybe you are gay, because we don't age either.

• 24:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's the gay Asian. The gay Asian part of me.

• 24:23Speaker 04

  Maybe.

• 24:23Bobby Lee?

  Maybe, yeah.

• 24:24Speaker 03

  I'm gonna be 40 in two months.

• 24:25Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 24:26Speaker 04

  We can tell.

• 24:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Yeah, you look in your, like, in your twenties.

• 24:31Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 24:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:32Speaker 03

  I'm so mad that you said that.

• 24:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:35Speaker 03

  Because he's been trying to convince everybody that he's 24 years old for a solid three, and he's 35.

• 24:41Bobby Lee?

  I would buy 24.

• 24:43Speaker 04

  Thank you, Bobby.

• 24:43Bobby Lee?

  I would buy 40 for you.

• 24:48Speaker 03

  Let's go to Grandpa. Let's go back to your musical taste.

• 24:52Speaker 04

  No, no, he's buying 40 because of the three hair transplants.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is a lot of hair transplants.

• 24:56Bobby Lee?

  You have hair transplants?

• 24:58Speaker 03

  Yes, we talked about this.

• 24:59Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't, I forgot, and I don't even know that.

• 25:01Speaker 03

  To be fair, it was fully two years ago, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:04Bobby Lee?

  So, anyway, back to Madonna and Sabrina Carpenter, to me...

• 25:09Speaker 04

  When Madonna came out.

• 25:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, to me, you mean, when she sang Vogue and Just Like a Prayer, right? Catchier, hookier, iconic, and I had never heard of Sabrina Carpenter, and when I was listening to her music, I was trying to get into it, and there was nothing there for me.

• 25:26Speaker 06

  Really?

• 25:27Speaker 03

  I think it's just generation.

• 25:28Speaker 04

  I will say, in Bobby's defense...

• 25:29Bobby Lee?

  Okay, thank you.

• 25:30Speaker 04

  When Madonna came out, she really was doing things you had never heard of before. Like, she really was a trailblazer in that sense of that kind of pop that she was doing, and she was doing songs and singing things that, like, felt new, where Sabrina is incredibly talented, but it's not necessarily new.

• 25:48Speaker 06

  Right.

• 25:49Bobby Lee?

  Like, she is cute, that's what I'm, that's what, when I said, I, yeah, go ahead.

• 25:53Speaker 03

  I think I have to remember too, like, Sabrina is pandering to a younger audience, and for them, that sound is new.

• 25:58Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 25:59Speaker 03

  You know, we have to remember each generation, like, to us, Britney, Christina, Backstreet Boys, like, "Oh, my God, this is so new." Well, okay, in the 80s, they had their version of the same thing, the 70s vice versa, so it's a kind of like a rehashing, sorry, what was 1958 like? You want to tell me what that was like? What was it like before phones were invented? Fucking Christ.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:20Bobby Lee?

  Okay. You look young too.

• 26:22Speaker 03

  How big is the text? How big is the font on your phone?

• 26:26Bobby Lee?

  You look thirty-two.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  I wonder how big the font is.

• 26:29Bobby Lee?

  I know, I'm sorry.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  Bobby.

• 26:30Bobby Lee?

  I know, but he's getting hostile.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  I wanna, no Bobby, I wanna know how big the font is on your phone. Is it one letter you scroll? Takes forever.

• 26:39Speaker 00

  Uh, this is for Nick. Can you point out Paul McCartney?

• 26:42Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:42Speaker 03

  How the fuck did you come up with this so quickly?

• 26:44Bobby Lee?

  Real quick.

• 26:45Speaker 04

  Okay, number one.

• 26:46Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  But that was all of them.

• 26:48Speaker 04

  That was easy. Number three, I've never seen in my life.

• 26:50Bobby Lee?

  Okay, zoom in on number three, please.

• 26:52Speaker 00

  You guys don't know number three?

• 26:53Bobby Lee?

  Zoom in on number three, cuz I can't really see it.

• 26:56Speaker 03

  Is that from Coldplay?

• 26:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's Chris Martin.

• 26:58Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 26:58Speaker 06

  But that's a bad.

• 26:59Bobby Lee?

  That does not look like Chris Martin.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  And then number four is Sharon Osbourne.

• 27:03Speaker 00

  I mean, he.

• 27:04Speaker 03

  Madonna and Leo DiCaprio. All these musical legends and Leo? What is this list?

• 27:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  Wait, this is fun. I wanna keep doing this.

• 27:12Bobby Lee?

  Gene Simmons is two.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  How many lakes did you dry up to pull this up? I mean, this is ridiculous.

• 27:19Speaker 04

  Too many.

• 27:19Bobby Lee?

  Eh, too many lakes.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  I, I wanna kinda know why they're getting arrested, though. That's my favorite. Like, what would they all be doing together to be getting arrested? Were they at IHOP?

• 27:28Speaker 04

  They're all in skinny jeans.

• 27:29Bobby Lee?

  Oh, they're at IHOP Friday nights.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  What?

• 27:31Speaker 04

  They're all in skinny jeans in 2026.

• 27:33Speaker 03

  Ah.

• 27:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So can I make an argument about the musical thing, about what you just said?

• 27:38Speaker 03

  I don't remember what I said.

• 27:40Bobby Lee?

  You did a 1958 thing that I was old, so old.

• 27:42Speaker 03

  I still think it was funny.

• 27:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's very funny.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:44Bobby Lee?

  And I laughed, you know, I mean hysterically at that, you know what I mean? And then I had to go back and go, "You look thirty-two."

• 27:50Speaker 03

  I don't. I look my age. I look almost forty.

• 27:52Bobby Lee?

  But you do look twenty-four.

• 27:53Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 27:54Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  And I believe you.

• 27:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I, I honestly do. You know what I mean?

• 27:59Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 27:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, your length, though, is obscure.

• 28:02Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 28:02Bobby Lee?

  And unusual.

• 28:03Speaker 03

  But he's tall. He has cataracts, so it's hard to make.

• 28:06Speaker 04

  And that's fair. I, I don't disagree on all of those points. But the twenty-four?

• 28:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:11Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 28:11Bobby Lee?

  Maybe get into the sun.

• 28:14Speaker 04

  No.

• 28:14Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  I have to, we have a video we need you to see of Nick on the beach.

• 28:17Speaker 04

  I have a three-foot sun hat that I wear.

• 28:19Bobby Lee?

  Okay, let me see.

• 28:20Speaker 03

  It's the size of this table.

• 28:21Bobby Lee?

  Let me see.

• 28:22Speaker 03

  It's the size of this table. I could just, I probably have to scroll through my Instagram to get it. We can show it.

• 28:25Speaker 04

  I so much don't go in the sun. The Uber dropped us off at the wrong house.

• 28:29Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 28:29Speaker 04

  And I walked in and crawled under the awning of one of your neighbor's homes.

• 28:34Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow. You're a Japanese person.

• 28:36Speaker 04

  Cuz I wouldn't see the sun.

• 28:37Speaker 03

  But also, we're on the beach, and I was like, "Nick, that is a ridiculous, I don't want the sun to get on my skin." And I said, "Okay, but what about the rest of the beach? We also want sun."

• 28:48Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 28:49Speaker 04

  I don't.

• 28:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Why? Why?

• 28:52Speaker 04

  Well, that's A, how you age.

• 28:54Bobby Lee?

  That's what they say.

• 28:55Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, there's Nick.

• 28:56Bobby Lee?

  There's Nick.

• 28:59Speaker 04

  It's subtle.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  There I am.

• 29:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, there you are. Yeah, like a normal person. Yeah, yeah.

• 29:06Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 29:06Bobby Lee?

  Wow, okay, so. What beach is that? Is that Malibu?

• 29:10Speaker 04

  This is in Puerto Vallarta.

• 29:12Speaker 03

  DJ Mitch Corino, we went to Mexico a year ago for New Year's.

• 29:15Bobby Lee?

  Gay beach, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:16Speaker 04

  Before the cartel.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  But Nick was walking around with that sun hat. My butt looks great. Nick was walking around with that sun hat.

• 29:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  Someone messaged him on Grindr and said, I just want you to know you are the topic of the beach right now. And also, he can't, there's another video, he can't walk in the water.

• 29:31Speaker 04

  Well, to be fair, also, the sun is hotter on the West Coast.

• 29:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:36Speaker 04

  I think that's true.

• 29:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:38Speaker 03

  That doesn't make any sense.

• 29:41Speaker 04

  Well, the waves are stronger in the Pacific.

• 29:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:44Speaker 04

  Right?

• 29:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:45Bobby Lee?

  Why, why would I know?

• 29:47Speaker 04

  I'm saying, agree with you.

• 29:48Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not how you win an argument by telling somebody to agree with you. You remember Pearl Harbor or something? Well, you do.

• 29:59Bobby Lee?

  It was a sneak attack and I apologize.

• 30:02Bobby Lee?

  They were sleeping. But anyway, um, when I went, my musical point was this.

• 30:06Speaker 06

  Wait, sorry, but how's your vitamin D?

• 30:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God.

• 30:09Speaker 04

  Oh, well, how would I check that?

• 30:11Speaker 06

  You just, you, doctor? I'm really curious, because I do think you do look young.

• 30:15Speaker 04

  I take a multivitamin every day.

• 30:16Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 30:17Speaker 04

  Does that have my vitamin D in it?

• 30:18Speaker 03

  Let me tell you something right now, inside it's gray.

• 30:21Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, I'm rotting already.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  Why don't you ask, why don't you ask him what his daily?

• 30:25Speaker 04

  No, you know I've been healthier this year.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  What is his daily routine of eating?

• 30:30Speaker 06

  Okay, let's start with breakfast.

• 30:31Speaker 04

  I get Dunkin' Donuts every morning.

• 30:32Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 30:33Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 30:34Speaker 06

  Every morning.

• 30:35Bobby Lee?

  What donut?

• 30:36Speaker 03

  Exaggeration.

• 30:36Speaker 04

  No, not a donut. I get an iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts every morning.

• 30:39Speaker 03

  What kind of iced coffee?

• 30:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:41Speaker 04

  A large iced coffee, four pumps of unsweetened hazelnut, four pumps of cream, two sugar.

• 30:45Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 30:46Speaker 04

  Every morning.

• 30:47Bobby Lee?

  You don't get cold foam, the sweet cold foam that they use, okay.

• 30:50Speaker 03

  And then doesn't eat to the full.

• 30:51Speaker 04

  And if I'm in L.A., I'll have it delivered.

• 30:52Speaker 03

  He's had no food, no protein, nothing, and then at 12 o'clock every single day, what do you have?

• 30:56Speaker 04

  Chipotle.

• 30:58Speaker 06

  What are you getting? What, what, from Chipotle?

• 31:00Speaker 04

  A bowl.

• 31:01Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 31:02Speaker 04

  Extra white rice.

• 31:03Bobby Lee?

  Never been in there.

• 31:04Speaker 04

  No, be, what?

• 31:05Bobby Lee?

  Never been in Chipotle.

• 31:06Speaker 04

  Are you doing a bit right now?

• 31:07Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not doing a bit. It's like a Subway. I've never been in it.

• 31:09Speaker 04

  You've never been to Subway?

• 31:11Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no. I refuse. It's against my moral, ethnical rights.

• 31:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, but Chipotle.

• 31:18Bobby Lee?

  I was gonna say ethic, but then it came out ethnic. And I committed to it, so I'm gonna commit to it. My ethnical rights.

• 31:26Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 31:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never been to a Subway. I've never been to a, what's it called?

• 31:30Speaker 04

  Chipotle.

• 31:31Bobby Lee?

  Chipotle. And I've never been.

• 31:32Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 31:33Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 31:34Speaker 03

  What did you just say?

• 31:35Speaker 04

  Chipotle.

• 31:36Bobby Lee?

  Chipotle. I've never been to a Panera Bread.

• 31:39Speaker 04

  What?

• 31:40Speaker 06

  That's crazy. Okay, these are all lies, number one.

• 31:43Speaker 04

  So you don't go to chain restaurants?

• 31:44Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever seen me in a Panera Bread?

• 31:46Speaker 06

  I've seen you in many Chipotle's, so already.

• 31:49Bobby Lee?

  No, you've never seen me.

• 31:50Speaker 04

  Gag it.

• 31:51Bobby Lee?

  Are you fucking?

• 31:52Speaker 04

  Lock him!

• 31:53Speaker 06

  Are you crazy?

• 31:55Bobby Lee?

  You're gaslighting me.

• 31:55Speaker 06

  I am absolutely not. You have dementia. You have fucking dementia if you think you have a good Chipotle.

• 32:01Bobby Lee?

  What do they serve there?

• 32:02Speaker 06

  In Chipotle.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  That's how I... Bobby, what do you mean, what do they serve there? Have you existed for so long and you've never even heard of a Chipotle?

• 32:10Speaker 06

  Okay, I'm so sorry. I have.

• 32:11Bobby Lee?

  I've heard of Mestros. I've heard of Boa Steakhouse.

• 32:13Speaker 06

  Sorry, I have.

• 32:14Speaker 04

  I don't know either of those places.

• 32:15Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 32:16Speaker 06

  Wait, wait, wait. Pause, pause, pause.

• 32:17Bobby Lee?

  What's wrong?

• 32:17Speaker 06

  Can we take a pause?

• 32:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, okay.

• 32:19Speaker 06

  I have to, weird story, but I have to, um, um, receive a dog I'm fostering right outside.

• 32:24Speaker 04

  What kind of dog?

• 32:25Speaker 06

  I'm, I think she's a mix, but let's find out. But continue talking. I'll be right back.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 32:30Bobby Lee?

  Well, after you accused me of being going at Chipotle.

• 32:32Speaker 06

  By the way, it's not an accusatory thing. I'm, I'm, this is a fact. You're fucking lying. I can, there's so many pictures of, of you just like fucking gargling Chipotle.

• 32:41Speaker 04

  Pull it.

• 32:42Speaker 06

  I'll pull it up. From early in our relationship, that's all you ate. That's all you ate.

• 32:46Speaker 04

  Clock it. Clock it.

• 32:47Bobby Lee?

  I know, but as a, let me just say that. I, I think you're right. All right, but let me, secondly, I want to say this, right? As my co-host, right, you're supposed to defend me in the, in the improv.

• 32:57Speaker 06

  Not about Chipotle.

• 32:58Bobby Lee?

  It's called improv. It's called improv.

• 32:59Speaker 04

  Under no circumstances. I don't ever defend him.

• 33:02Bobby Lee?

  Were we trying to zip, zap, zop? Oh, zip, zap, zop, zop, zop.

• 33:05Speaker 04

  Yes, sand. Yes, sand.

• 33:06Bobby Lee?

  And you weren't, you weren't yesanding.

• 33:08Speaker 06

  I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

• 33:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and, and, yeah, I've been to Chipotle. I, I apologize.

• 33:13Bobby Lee?

  I lie, I'm a liar. You know what I mean?

• 33:15Speaker 03

  Love you, Bob.

• 33:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To cause, you know what I mean? Rift.

• 33:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:20Bobby Lee?

  Right, and to cause chaos. I sometimes lie.

• 33:22Speaker 04

  And I appreciate that, actually.

• 33:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, thank you.

• 33:24Speaker 04

  Keeps me on my toes.

• 33:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I apologize for that.

• 33:27Speaker 04

  No need to apologize, actually.

• 33:29Bobby Lee?

  And I've been to Subway.

• 33:31Speaker 04

  Well, that you should apologize for.

• 33:33Speaker 03

  I was like, how, how as a working comic have you not been to Subway?

• 33:37Bobby Lee?

  I've been to every national restaurant.

• 33:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:39Bobby Lee?

  In my life.

• 33:40Speaker 03

  So what's your favorite one?

• 33:41Bobby Lee?

  Um, I like Wendy's a lot.

• 33:44Speaker 04

  Really?

• 33:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:45Speaker 03

  If I'm going for a burger.

• 33:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's a national one, fast food, go ahead.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  Although I love Shake Shack.

• 33:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, Shake Shack's great.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  It's so good.

• 33:52Bobby Lee?

  It's so good.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  Always satisfying.

• 33:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and they open later, so on the road, you can usually get it.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, and they're a little, like, they always give you a bit of attitude to remind you you've made a mistake somewhere.

• 34:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  That you go and it's like.

• 34:05Speaker 04

  Taco Bell just always slaps, though, I feel like.

• 34:07Bobby Lee?

  It slaps. Taco Bell, you can't go wrong.

• 34:09Speaker 03

  I actually don't like Taco Bell.

• 34:10Speaker 04

  And it's everywhere.

• 34:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:11Speaker 03

  I know, I'm, I don't like Taco Bell.

• 34:13Bobby Lee?

  But you don't do Del Taco?

• 34:15Speaker 03

  No.

• 34:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:15Speaker 03

  I don't live here, so.

• 34:16Bobby Lee?

  Thank you so much for even saying that.

• 34:18Speaker 03

  No, I think it's only a west coast thing.

• 34:20Speaker 04

  Is it a west coast?

• 34:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:21Bobby Lee?

  It's a west coast, it's like a knockoff Taco Bell. The people, and I see lines next to a Taco Bell, and I go, and the Taco Bell has no line? And I'm going, what the fuck is going on here?

• 34:33Speaker 04

  No.

• 34:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:34Speaker 04

  Prison.

• 34:35Bobby Lee?

  So I apologize for lying, and, but I, I still didn't forget.

• 34:39Speaker 04

  We still haven't gotten to your musical point.

• 34:41Bobby Lee?

  I'm still gonna get to that point, because my mind registers and computes.

• 34:45Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 34:45Bobby Lee?

  And I have a good memory. Okay? So my nineteen, so your argument was.

• 34:50Speaker 03

  I don't even remember.

• 34:51Bobby Lee?

  I, I'm gonna tell you what it is.

• 34:53Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 34:53Bobby Lee?

  You're saying it's a generational thing.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  Well, I didn't say it like that.

• 34:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but that's why, how I hear it.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 35:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, it's snotty.

• 35:02Speaker 04

  He did say it like that.

• 35:02Bobby Lee?

  And Coachella-like.

• 35:04Speaker 04

  With your fag sound.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  Even though you went to Coachella in private jet.

• 35:07Bobby Lee?

  I didn't go to private jet, I drove there.

• 35:09Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 35:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:10Speaker 03

  That humanizes you a bit more.

• 35:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and I parked.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Where'd you park?

• 35:14Bobby Lee?

  Close.

• 35:16Speaker 04

  Did you walk or golf cart?

• 35:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, uh, golf cart.

• 35:19Speaker 03

  That's cool.

• 35:20Bobby Lee?

  To the entrance.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Are you gonna invite me next year?

• 35:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you could totally come.

• 35:23Speaker 04

  You would go to Coachella?

• 35:24Speaker 03

  If I'm going with Bobby, that'd be fun.

• 35:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:26Speaker 03

  There'd be plenty of stories.

• 35:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you get an artist pass, the whole thing.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  Really?

• 35:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would totally take you.

• 35:31Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 35:32Speaker 04

  Who did you think was better, Sabrina or Justin?

• 35:35Bobby Lee?

  I didn't watch Justin, it was too late.

• 35:36Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought you, oh, you would like.

• 35:37Bobby Lee?

  So, what happened was The Strokes played.

• 35:40Speaker 04

  Gotcha.

• 35:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I have my argument, I have two arguments, okay?

• 35:43Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 35:44Bobby Lee?

  One of the arguments is because you're saying that you're defending Sabrina and saying that she is a great singer, great performer, et cetera, et cetera, right? And I agree with that, those points.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 35:54Bobby Lee?

  Okay, but, um, the lead singer of The Strokes did more my thing, which he did anti-performance. And I thought that that was cool.

• 36:05Speaker 04

  But...

• 36:06Bobby Lee?

  What's so confu- what are you doing?

• 36:08Speaker 03

  I'm just listening.

• 36:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what's with your fucking...

• 36:10Speaker 04

  But what about, what about that is cool, though? Cause people come to see someone perform, they spent seventy-eight thousand dollars to go.

• 36:20Speaker 03

  That's a lot of money.

• 36:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:22Speaker 04

  And you are there to see this person perform and they go, are we done? Can...

• 36:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I love...

• 36:28Speaker 04

  You wouldn't be disappointed by that?

• 36:30Bobby Lee?

  No, because it's like, I wanted to leave.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  You wanted to be anti-Coachella.

• 36:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. His sentiment onstage is exactly how I felt, like...

• 36:39Speaker 04

  It was mirroring your feelings.

• 36:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like, I think we're done, but he wasn't done.

• 36:43Speaker 03

  Do you think he's so jaded, though, like, at some point when he's onstage and he's turning his back and like, it's a sort of attitude, like, let's get this over with? Do you think he believes it, or it's an affectation to be like, I'm still this person, I'm still punk rock, I'm still cool, I'm still, you know?

• 36:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:58Speaker 03

  Do you see what I'm saying?

• 36:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  Isn't that in itself a kind of drag? Like, what's genuine?

• 37:03Bobby Lee?

  Because I don't like genuine performance where it's like, um...

• 37:07Speaker 04

  You can see them crying.

• 37:08Bobby Lee?

  Right, so at one point Sabrina Carpenter, just like, tears coming out of her eyes, you mean?

• 37:15Bobby Lee?

  Just tears, right?

• 37:17Speaker 04

  See, I would eat that up.

• 37:19Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 37:19Speaker 04

  I would eat that up.

• 37:20Bobby Lee?

  And it's like, there's things going on and she's 100% performing, right? And I'm like, fuck off.

• 37:27Speaker 04

  Oh, I would eat that up.

• 37:29Bobby Lee?

  You wouldn't be there. This song.

• 37:31Speaker 04

  I wouldn't be there. You're right. And I'd watch it on YouTube and I'd eat that up.

• 37:35Bobby Lee?

  You can't eat it up via YouTube. You have to be there.

• 37:39Speaker 04

  But that's talent, though.

• 37:40Bobby Lee?

  It is talent, and I didn't say that. I go, I said to my, I'm saying to you, I mean, is that she has the performance skills, the charisma, the beauty, right? She has it all.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 37:52Bobby Lee?

  And I get why there's a sea of kids singing, right? But just for me, it didn't hit.

• 37:59Speaker 04

  You've seen it before.

• 37:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just taste, is what you're saying.

• 38:01Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm just saying, I'm a man of historical.

• 38:05Speaker 03

  Well.

• 38:05Speaker 04

  It's like what I said earlier.

• 38:06Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm sorry. I'm gonna, what's going on?

• 38:13Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  So cute.

• 38:18Bobby Lee?

  So cute.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  He, she? She. She looks so soft. Nick, do you like dogs? You're staring at it.

• 38:24Speaker 04

  I don't like it.

• 38:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, the way you were looking at it.

• 38:28Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  Nick's face was insane.

• 38:30Bobby Lee?

  That was insane. Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Mateo.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:35Bobby Lee?

  Forget the music.

• 38:36Speaker 03

  Oh, you're right.

• 38:37Bobby Lee?

  This is more urgent.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  This is.

• 38:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck?

• 38:41Speaker 03

  He doesn't like dogs.

• 38:42Bobby Lee?

  It's insane.

• 38:43Speaker 03

  He doesn't like animals in general.

• 38:44Speaker 04

  No.

• 38:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. This says a lot.

• 38:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:47Bobby Lee?

  You wear a.

• 38:48Speaker 04

  It's a no wonder why I'm single.

• 38:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You wear a pull-pot Cambodian hat on a beach.

• 38:56Bobby Lee?

  Like you're an emperor.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  And I am.

• 38:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like, I don't want the sun, right? Right? Please protect me, right?

• 39:03Speaker 04

  100%.

• 39:03Bobby Lee?

  And you don't like animals.

• 39:06Speaker 04

  Right.

• 39:06Bobby Lee?

  Right, right. What is it about animals you don't like?

• 39:10Speaker 04

  They're unpredictable. They...

• 39:13Speaker 00

  That is a good point.

• 39:15Speaker 04

  They...

• 39:16Speaker 06

  I got it, I got it, I got it.

• 39:18Bobby Lee?

  I gotta write this down. I gotta write this down.

• 39:20Speaker 00

  They're unpredictable.

• 39:22Speaker 03

  No, I wanna pet her.

• 39:24Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so, um, let's see.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  Little sunflowers.

• 39:28Speaker 06

  I know.

• 39:29Bobby Lee?

  They're unpre- unpredictable.

• 39:31Speaker 04

  Unpredictable.

• 39:32Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 39:33Speaker 04

  They're dirty.

• 39:35Bobby Lee?

  Dirty? Okay.

• 39:36Speaker 04

  They are vicious or like can hurt you.

• 39:42Speaker 03

  What about the companionship?

• 39:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, we're not talking about a Black Panther in the Amazon.

• 39:49Speaker 04

  I mean, but dogs can still attack.

• 39:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're not talking about...

• 39:53Speaker 04

  And they don't speak, so you don't know when they're going to attack, and I don't like that.

• 39:57Bobby Lee?

  So like, when you look at that dog right now, do you think it's in attack mode?

• 40:01Speaker 04

  It could though.

• 40:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, anything, well then in your logic, anything can happen.

• 40:06Speaker 04

  And that's how I go through life.

• 40:07Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so a piano can fall in your head?

• 40:10Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 40:11Bobby Lee?

  I see, you live your life, hence the hat. But that hat doesn't protect you from a piano, but anyway, um...

• 40:17Speaker 06

  She's up for adoption. Her name is Bella.

• 40:19Bobby Lee?

  Well, I'll tell you who's...

• 40:19Speaker 04

  Bella from Twilight.

• 40:21Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 40:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, um...

• 40:22Speaker 04

  Edward, if you're watching.

• 40:24Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so, um, you, you didn't grow up with animals?

• 40:27Speaker 04

  No.

• 40:28Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I think that's the problem.

• 40:29Speaker 04

  Well, that's not true.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  His parents just got a dog, and he was like, his mom was like, Nick is...

• 40:35Bobby Lee?

  No, what, what?

• 40:36Speaker 03

  Nick really doesn't like the dog.

• 40:38Bobby Lee?

  I've never met someone like you.

• 40:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, Nick is a strange...

• 40:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, you may be Slenderman. You have Slenderman.

• 40:48Speaker 04

  Have you ever seen me and them in the same room? No.

• 40:50Bobby Lee?

  Okay, that's very good.

• 40:51Speaker 03

  But what about, what are you like with your mom's dog? What infuriates you about that dog?

• 40:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:56Speaker 06

  Wait, did your mom love her dog more than, like, because usually when I, I find if I dig deeper, there's usually a parent who is obsessed with their animals, and the kid feels like they're second or third place.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  No, I'm absolutely first place in my mom's life.

• 41:10Speaker 06

  Okay, okay.

• 41:10Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 41:11Speaker 03

  Well, that's...

• 41:11Speaker 04

  That's not the issue.

• 41:12Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 41:13Speaker 04

  No, we had a dog when I was younger, but my mom is allergic to dogs and cats, so the dog ended up having to live sort of outside in our yard or in our, like, screenroom porch area.

• 41:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  She was allergic, so then we eventually had to get rid of the dog because she was allergic, and we just never had animals.

• 41:28Bobby Lee?

  And you never bonded with that animal?

• 41:29Speaker 04

  Not really, no. And then I had a turtle, but I didn't take care of it. My dad took care of it.

• 41:33Speaker 06

  What kind of turtle?

• 41:34Speaker 04

  Uh, what kind of turtle?

• 41:36Speaker 06

  Yeah, like a big one or a small, ready spider, like a tank?

• 41:40Speaker 04

  It was just small in a tank?

• 41:41Speaker 06

  Okay, okay. Not like a big tortoise.

• 41:44Speaker 04

  No. I didn't touch it or take care of it. My dad did, and then we like, put it in a creek. You're just so funny to me. So anyways-

• 41:52Bobby Lee?

  Like, fuck that turtle.

• 41:53Speaker 04

  Literally.

• 41:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:54Speaker 04

  It smelled.

• 41:55Bobby Lee?

  The cutest thing imaginable.

• 41:56Speaker 04

  Then we just-

• 41:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, we threw it in a creek one day.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  He grew up in a town of like 50 people, too.

• 42:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see.

• 42:03Speaker 04

  700.

• 42:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, 700 people, right.

• 42:05Speaker 06

  But like, who do you love?

• 42:06Speaker 04

  Uh, my friends.

• 42:08Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 42:08Speaker 03

  You do?

• 42:11Speaker 04

  I, you know that I love my friends and I love my family.

• 42:14Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay. You do love your fa- your parents?

• 42:16Speaker 03

  We called his mom to see if me and Bob the Drag Man were hanging off a cliff and, oh no, I'm sorry.

• 42:21Speaker 04

  No, if you and me.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  If me and Nick were hanging off a cliff and his mom had to pick someone to save so she could survive, she picked me.

• 42:30Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 42:31Speaker 04

  In her defense. The question was posed. You have to save someone to help you survive and find safety.

• 42:41Speaker 03

  We have the video.

• 42:42Speaker 04

  And she said, "Well, obviously, I'm gonna choose Mateo."

• 42:45Speaker 03

  If you wait, Bobby should watch this. If you go to my Instagram-

• 42:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 42:48Speaker 03

  It's like the, it's a recent reel, but I just, you need to hear what his mom said because-

• 42:54Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 42:55Speaker 07

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• 43:24Bobby Lee?

  All right, go home when you're listening. Yeah, let's listen to it now.

• 43:28Speaker 03

  If you go to my reels, it's pretty recent.

• 43:31Speaker 04

  Mountain somewhere. You, me and Bob. All of a sudden, you turn around and Bob and I slipped and we're both hanging on to that cliff.

• 43:37Bobby Lee?

  I'd pick Bob.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  Bob will be so much more helpful to get us out of that situation.

• 43:43Speaker 04

  In what way?

• 43:45Speaker 03

  Every single way.

• 43:48Speaker 04

  Gut answer, who are you saving, me or Mateo?

• 43:51Speaker 05

  First of all, if I grab you, you, I will have to do all the lifting. Be indicative of what would happen once you get back on the cliff. Mateo would actually help me do things around it. I'm gonna pull Mateo out, I'm gonna grab Mateo.

• 44:05Speaker 04

  Hang up that phone right now.

• 44:08Speaker 04

  Easy. Mom, you're on the podcast. Who are you saving that you think can do that? That can help you find safety and survive and be rescued. Mateo, hands down. So fast.

• 44:21Bobby Lee?

  No process of thinking. Yeah, yeah.

• 44:24Speaker 04

  Understanding the situation. Now just wait because we call his mom. Your son is hanging from a cliff. And he can help me save you. I've died at that moment. You watched your baby boy plummet to death. You don't have any arm strength, so.

• 44:40Bobby Lee?

  Okay, go ahead.

• 44:42Bobby Lee?

  That's great.

• 44:43Speaker 04

  Call your mother.

• 44:44Bobby Lee?

  Fine.

• 44:45Speaker 03

  An Italian mom's gonna pick her son.

• 44:47Speaker 04

  Call your mother. Sorry, Nick, you're falling to the bottom of this.

• 44:52Speaker 04

  You think your son would be able to find safety and rescue you on a stranded cliff over me? Of course I'm saving my son. Okay, don't say of course. My mother chose Mateo. My mother.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  That's it.

• 45:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, okay, all right, all right, so. I don't know you that well, Nick. Okay?

• 45:13Speaker 06

  Okay, I do want to get to the bottom of this because even though you have a certain level of self-belief about your own survival skills.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  But he has, but you need to, I need you to pride him on, he has none.

• 45:24Speaker 06

  So I want to.

• 45:25Speaker 04

  That's not true.

• 45:27Speaker 03

  We had, we were talking to.

• 45:28Speaker 04

  No, that's, I could survive.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  No, no, we were talking to Otsko and he literally said, well, if we're gonna be stuck in a forest, we have to, we have to kill chickens. And I said. And I go, you think, I thought you think there's chickens running around?

• 45:41Bobby Lee?

  Get that finger out of my face.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  And he goes, well, I see free range chicken at the grocery store. I said, you think that free range chicken means a bunch of hunters wake up at 4 a.m.

• 45:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  Get their echo, look for 30,000 chickens in a forest for the fucking grocery store?

• 45:56Speaker 04

  And I will have you know, there was someone that responded.

• 45:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:59Speaker 04

  With a bunch of chickens in a forest.

• 46:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  That were.

• 46:02Speaker 04

  And they have them in Hawaii.

• 46:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, in Oklahoma City.

• 46:05Speaker 03

  Locked in.

• 46:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. All right, so here's the deal, dude.

• 46:08Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 46:09Speaker 03

  But you need to ask about his survival.

• 46:10Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna give you a scenario, all right?

• 46:11Speaker 04

  Yeah. Actually, give us both scenario, we'll pitch who you want to.

• 46:16Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, I'm gonna tell you, just, just you specifically.

• 46:18Speaker 04

  Okay, all right.

• 46:20Bobby Lee?

  Cause I already think he knows.

• 46:23Speaker 04

  You think this one's gonna rough it?

• 46:24Bobby Lee?

  He knows more.

• 46:25Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 46:26Bobby Lee?

  Okay, all right, and I, and I apologize, you know what I mean?

• 46:28Speaker 04

  No need to apologize.

• 46:29Bobby Lee?

  But even watching the scenario, right? It's so clear to me. You know?

• 46:34Speaker 04

  What's clear to you?

• 46:35Bobby Lee?

  That he would navigate better.

• 46:38Speaker 04

  Navigate what better?

• 46:39Bobby Lee?

  Anything, anything. Survival tactics.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  Do you feel the same?

• 46:44Bobby Lee?

  Regime.

• 46:45Speaker 06

  That's what I'm trying to get to the bottom of this. I wanna know what exactly.

• 46:49Bobby Lee?

  Don't lie.

• 46:50Speaker 06

  Okay, okay, let's just, I'm trying to give Nick a chance to tell me what exactly, if we were in a survi- we're, we're cast away on a.

• 46:58Bobby Lee?

  All right, it's a zombie apocalypse.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  Oh, we've done this. Don't even get me started.

• 47:02Speaker 06

  I don't, I don't want even zombie apocalypse.

• 47:03Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 47:04Speaker 06

  I want a basic, basic.

• 47:05Bobby Lee?

  I was gonna ask.

• 47:06Speaker 03

  But real quick, I said, in a zombie apocalypse, what would you do? Well, I'd probably go to the airport to get out. I said, no, there's a zombie apocalypse. He goes, well, the airplanes are still working. I said, what are you not understanding about zombie? He thought it meant just one zombie.

• 47:22Speaker 04

  It's not that I thought one zombie, but like, it's not like all of a sudden, all nine billion people are zombies. Slowly trickle.

• 47:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, it doesn't slow.

• 47:32Speaker 04

  No, I haven't seen it, and you know it.

• 47:34Bobby Lee?

  Okay, you've never seen any zombie movie?

• 47:36Speaker 03

  He's scared of those.

• 47:36Speaker 04

  I scare very easily.

• 47:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you scare very easily? Okay, so here's.

• 47:39Speaker 04

  You're not surprised.

• 47:40Speaker 06

  Already, already not a great start.

• 47:42Bobby Lee?

  Already not a good start, all right? So here's the situation.

• 47:44Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 47:44Bobby Lee?

  All right, Mateo and you, right? You guys are. Stranded, right, and you see a river, right?

• 47:49Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 47:50Bobby Lee?

  And sometime, and you're very thirsty.

• 47:51Speaker 03

  In a forest?

• 47:52Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 47:52Speaker 03

  In a forest. Okay.

• 47:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're like in the Amazon.

• 47:55Speaker 06

  It's a warm, humid place.

• 47:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:57Speaker 06

  And there's a body of water next to you.

• 47:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, next, how, how do you clean the water?

• 48:02Speaker 06

  No, not even that.

• 48:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. How do you drink the water?

• 48:04Speaker 06

  Where are you, what, where are you drinking your water from?

• 48:07Speaker 04

  Okay, so this I know, you have to boil the water to clean it.

• 48:11Bobby Lee?

  You don't have, you don't have, you don't have it.

• 48:13Speaker 03

  Fire in a pot, Nick.

• 48:14Speaker 04

  Oh, you can't make fire out of fucking sticks?

• 48:19Speaker 04

  We're in a forest.

• 48:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:21Speaker 04

  Get some sticks.

• 48:22Bobby Lee?

  You don't know how to make.

• 48:23Speaker 04

  Get a fire.

• 48:24Bobby Lee?

  You don't know how to make a fire, Nick.

• 48:26Speaker 03

  It's rainforest.

• 48:27Speaker 04

  I could make a fire.

• 48:27Speaker 03

  Nick, it's a, Nick, it's a rainforest, so everything is wet. There's no dry sticks to be able to do this together.

• 48:33Speaker 04

  There are dry areas in rainforest.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  Where?

• 48:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, where?

• 48:36Speaker 03

  It's a rainforest.

• 48:37Speaker 04

  The sun just doesn't come out?

• 48:39Bobby Lee?

  No, because of the fucking canopy.

• 48:41Speaker 03

  They have, they have their own weather.

• 48:43Speaker 04

  It's a what?

• 48:43Speaker 06

  A canopy.

• 48:44Bobby Lee?

  A canopy.

• 48:45Speaker 06

  Of just foliage.

• 48:45Bobby Lee?

  Foliage.

• 48:46Speaker 03

  Nick, they have.

• 48:47Speaker 04

  There's no sun.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  Nick, rainforests have their own weather systems because.

• 48:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, ecosystems.

• 48:52Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 48:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, Nick, check this out, in the Amazon, right? There's the ground level animals, mid-level animals, and then the animals that live on top. They're completely different civilizations.

• 49:04Speaker 04

  Want to be on top.

• 49:08Bobby Lee?

  I get it. But my point is, is this, I'm a bottom, but my point is, is this, okay? Is that how do you get the water?

• 49:14Speaker 06

  If you don't have fire.

• 49:15Bobby Lee?

  You don't have fire, you don't have a pot. How do you drink? Will you drink it straight from the water source, or what do you do?

• 49:20Speaker 04

  You don't have fire.

• 49:21Bobby Lee?

  You don't have fire.

• 49:22Speaker 06

  No fire, can't boil it.

• 49:23Speaker 04

  Do you know what you would do?

• 49:24Speaker 03

  I would probably try and collect, like, either moisture or, like, the rain.

• 49:30Speaker 04

  I was gonna say, don't you, like, spick it from the tree?

• 49:33Speaker 03

  Are we in Canada getting maple syrup?

• 49:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:36Speaker 04

  I've seen that on Naked and Afraid.

• 49:38Bobby Lee?

  It's not cactus. Oh, you've seen someone spick it?

• 49:41Speaker 04

  Something, or like a leaf or something. Yeah, he knows.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  He's right.

• 49:45Bobby Lee?

  Okay, all right. So you're getting little.

• 49:51Speaker 04

  So far, I'm nailing this.

• 49:53Bobby Lee?

  You're nailing it. I mean, yeah, that is good.

• 49:56Speaker 06

  If it's a moving river.

• 49:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 49:58Speaker 04

  As opposed to a still river.

• 50:00Speaker 03

  There's a video of him, and he can't walk in water.

• 50:01Speaker 06

  If, if the body of water is still, you never want to collect from there.

• 50:05Speaker 04

  Right, right, right.

• 50:05Bobby Lee?

  So what do you do? I know what to do in that situation.

• 50:08Speaker 06

  What?

• 50:09Bobby Lee?

  What you do is you see the body of water, right?

• 50:12Speaker 04

  The still body of water.

• 50:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:15Speaker 06

  No, because we talked about it.

• 50:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:19Speaker 04

  Nick. Okay.

• 50:20Bobby Lee?

  A still body of water.

• 50:21Speaker 04

  No, I want you to enlighten me on whatever you're about to say. Teach me, Bobby.

• 50:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it's your.

• 50:27Speaker 04

  Teach me your survival.

• 50:28Bobby Lee?

  Your energy, dude, right, is very Friday night IHOP.

• 50:32Speaker 03

  Did you just say, did you just say, hold up?

• 50:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:34Speaker 03

  Did you just say, dude?

• 50:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:37Speaker 03

  To this?

• 50:37Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 50:38Speaker 04

  It's ma'am.

• 50:40Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it's a ma'am? All right, excuse me, ma'am, all right? So stagnant water, what you do is you build, you dig another hole next to this body of water.

• 50:50Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 50:51Bobby Lee?

  And the water will eventually go through the soil and filter out a lot of the bad stuff. And then you drink out of that other hole.

• 51:01Speaker 04

  You would.

• 51:02Bobby Lee?

  You're supposed to.

• 51:03Speaker 06

  Okay, how are you with insects?

• 51:04Bobby Lee?

  I would, to survive, yes.

• 51:06Speaker 06

  Insect, insect.

• 51:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you with insects?

• 51:09Speaker 04

  Um, surprisingly, not.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  Why are you lying? Why are you lying right now?

• 51:16Speaker 04

  No.

• 51:17Speaker 03

  Why are you?

• 51:18Speaker 04

  Meow.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  Who is this for?

• 51:19Speaker 04

  No.

• 51:20Speaker 03

  Who is this for?

• 51:20Speaker 04

  If I've seen a spider in an apartment or a cockroach, I'd kill it.

• 51:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand that, but we're in the Amazon, guy.

• 51:27Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 51:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, there's an army of red ants that will eat your flesh.

• 51:32Speaker 04

  You're also all saying this as if you all will swimmingly survive the Amazon.

• 51:36Bobby Lee?

  Okay, all right, can I say this then to you, Nick? I will, okay, all right? You bastard.

• 51:42Speaker 04

  Do it.

• 51:42Bobby Lee?

  Ma'am.

• 51:43Speaker 04

  Bitch.

• 51:43Bobby Lee?

  All right, bitch, all right?

• 51:45Speaker 03

  I'm a bitch.

• 51:46Bobby Lee?

  Her and I, right, we were in Mexico.

• 51:48Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 51:49Bobby Lee?

  We swam a river, and in the river was a living crocodile, probably 50 feet away, staring at us, right, from a little rock ridge.

• 51:59Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 51:59Bobby Lee?

  Right, and what we did was, we stood still. And eventually, maybe 20 minutes later, the crocodile turned away and went the other direction.

• 52:07Speaker 06

  Well, for starters, it was an alligator, not as aggressive.

• 52:10Bobby Lee?

  Okay, whatever, what?

• 52:11Speaker 06

  Crocodiles will...

• 52:13Bobby Lee?

  Whatever, I was, I shit my pants.

• 52:15Speaker 04

  They both could bite.

• 52:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:17Speaker 06

  It was like a resident...

• 52:18Bobby Lee?

  Whatever it was, I shit my pants.

• 52:19Speaker 06

  It was a resident alligator, and he was totally tame.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  Don't they say you're supposed to run in zigzags because they, or run straight because they can only move in zigzag?

• 52:29Speaker 00

  You are correct, boom.

• 52:31Bobby Lee?

  Are you being real?

• 52:32Speaker 04

  Right there.

• 52:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you, I thought that was...

• 52:34Speaker 04

  Read it, Bobby!

• 52:36Speaker 00

  I got you, Nick.

• 52:36Speaker 04

  Fucking read it! Put your glasses back on and read it!

• 52:41Speaker 00

  I got you, Nick.

• 52:42Bobby Lee?

  Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:43Speaker 03

  But they're fast, they can run like 30 miles an hour.

• 52:46Speaker 00

  I gotta help with the... Thank you.

• 52:48Speaker 06

  I'm actually more impressed than I thought.

• 52:51Speaker 00

  Don't, you're a little deeper.

• 52:53Speaker 06

  I'll tell you why.

• 52:54Bobby Lee?

  I understand, but can I just say that, let me defend myself real quick, okay? All right, that's on land. Right? You're not zigzagging in the water.

• 53:02Speaker 04

  No, no, yeah, not in the water.

• 53:03Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, so we were in the water, your question was...

• 53:06Speaker 04

  What did you get to the land?

• 53:07Bobby Lee?

  What I'm saying to you, Nick, is that you questioned like, well, it's not as if like you guys would be in the Amazon, uh, right, right, right? We, when we dated, were adventurers.

• 53:16Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 53:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Tomb Raider-ish.

• 53:17Speaker 04

  Were adventurers, okay.

• 53:18Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 53:19Speaker 06

  The "we" part is very...

• 53:21Speaker 03

  I went to Tomb Raider temples in Cambodia.

• 53:24Bobby Lee?

  That's what, that's the type of person you are.

• 53:26Speaker 03

  They were cool.

• 53:27Bobby Lee?

  And that's why your, your mother would rather have him be pulled up.

• 53:31Speaker 06

  Well, the truth has really is who can tolerate, the reason I asked about insects, who can tolerate a mosquito bite the best?

• 53:37Speaker 04

  Oh, I can't do that.

• 53:41Speaker 04

  For some reason, and I don't know why, and you know this, mosquitoes bite me a lot.

• 53:47Speaker 06

  You probably have a skeeter blood.

• 53:49Speaker 04

  I don't know why, like...

• 53:50Speaker 06

  And you get like the big inflating...

• 53:51Speaker 04

  All the time, I had a mosquito bite my dick recently, remember?

• 53:56Speaker 04

  It was in New York, and it just turned hot, you know how sometimes the turn of the weather, a mosquito gets in your apartment or something?

• 54:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't know that.

• 54:04Speaker 04

  Okay, well, I'm telling you.

• 54:06Bobby Lee?

  Okay, all right, it seems unlikely, unlikely, but continue.

• 54:09Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 54:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 54:10Speaker 04

  Anyways, it got in, and I woke up, and I had a mosquito bite on my dick, on my shoulder, and on my face, they just bite me. I don't know why.

• 54:18Bobby Lee?

  So are you just free balling it, walking around your apartment?

• 54:21Speaker 04

  Well, it was really hot, and I hadn't, didn't have my AC in yet, and it was like 85 degrees in New York.

• 54:27Bobby Lee?

  They still wear underwear? To protect your dick from the bite?

• 54:30Speaker 04

  Well, I didn't think it was gonna bite my dick.

• 54:32Bobby Lee?

  Okay, did it hurt?

• 54:34Speaker 04

  I was asleep, I didn't know. I just woke up and all of a sudden I was like, wait a minute.

• 54:37Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 54:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:39Bobby Lee?

  Okay, and you told them, what did you say when that happened?

• 54:42Speaker 03

  I frankly don't remember this story.

• 54:44Speaker 04

  He doesn't.

• 54:45Bobby Lee?

  Because he just made it up? Because he just made it up?

• 54:47Speaker 03

  No, Nick's not a liar, of all things.

• 54:49Speaker 04

  I know, I told you.

• 54:50Speaker 03

  But Nick does have a way of seeing himself that's not real, like. You think you can survive all these things? You think you can survive in the forest?

• 54:59Speaker 04

  No, I don't think that I could survive.

• 55:01Speaker 03

  A pigeon flew by us one time. You're walking in New York, a city full of pigeons, a pigeon flew by us, geez, Nick goes, "Jesus, goddamn Christ, oh my."

• 55:11Bobby Lee?

  I understand that, I understand, I understand.

• 55:13Speaker 04

  Again, I know I'm not surviving. I know I'm not surviving the Amazon. All I'm saying is I think I could survive better than you.

• 55:21Bobby Lee?

  Ooh. Oh, I really.

• 55:23Speaker 04

  Neither of us would survive, but I would survive slightly longer.

• 55:26Bobby Lee?

  There's no way.

• 55:27Speaker 03

  I'm going to play the audio of Nick on a child's roller coaster.

• 55:30Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 55:31Speaker 03

  And you guys can just, it was literally eight-year-olds waiting in line to go on with them.

• 55:36Speaker 04

  They were thrills, they were adventurers.

• 55:40Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 55:43Bobby Lee?

  I love to hear it. Yeah, and I will determine. I have my own opinion, I have ears, I will determine.

• 55:49Speaker 04

  Also, in my defense, I have the liar.

• 55:51Bobby Lee?

  Let me listen.

• 55:56Speaker 03

  Wait, ready? This is Nick on a roller coaster.

• 55:58Speaker 04

  Oh wait, no, this isn't the right one.

• 55:59Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 56:08Speaker 04

  Oh, is he the one in the?

• 56:17Bobby Lee?

  Turn it off, turn it off. Are you in a Gulag?

• 56:21Speaker 04

  I was being choked, in my defense.

• 56:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, in your defense.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  Look at Simmer!

• 56:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:26Speaker 04

  Oh, this one won't go away.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  We actually have another one.

• 56:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, and turn that off, please. Um, I got the audio, I got the audio.

• 56:33Speaker 04

  I can't, I can't do it.

• 56:34Bobby Lee?

  I got the audio, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, I would literally buy a million doll, I could spend a million dollars on a bet, right, that he would be able to survive in any circumstances more than you.

• 56:44Speaker 03

  Nick, you don't know how to cook. You barely know how to make a smoothie.

• 56:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:47Speaker 03

  You don't understand.

• 56:48Speaker 04

  You being able to cook carbonara is not gonna save you in the rainforest.

• 56:53Speaker 03

  All right, let me make something.

• 56:55Speaker 04

  Where are you fucking getting Dwan Shalay? In the Nile River?

• 57:01Speaker 00

  Good point, Nick.

• 57:02Bobby Lee?

  We're in Egypt now?

• 57:03Speaker 03

  Let me just say-

• 57:03Speaker 04

  You don't know how to cook? Okay, I don't know how to flip a fucking frittata. But I can spear a fish.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  That is true.

• 57:11Speaker 04

  What?

• 57:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:12Speaker 04

  I can spear a fish.

• 57:14Speaker 03

  You hold on a second. We go for me cooking carbonara, you can spear a fish?

• 57:19Speaker 04

  I could.

• 57:20Speaker 03

  You're a moron.

• 57:21Bobby Lee?

  You're a moron.

• 57:22Speaker 04

  Nick, you are- Bobby, don't care him, you don't know.

• 57:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, because you don't know how to build a spear. Can I just say-

• 57:27Speaker 04

  I could build a-

• 57:28Speaker 03

  You don't. First survival, first survival mode, right? We're in New York City, and the city's shutting down, the pandemic, blah blah. So I call Nick, I say, Nick, you know, they're gonna close down Dunkin' Donuts, you have to make your own breakfast. What? I said, yes, and I said, so let's start, what do you have for breakfast? I'm wearing Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee. I said, okay, you can make your own iced coffee. He goes, I am not Laura Ingalls Wilder.

• 57:52Speaker 04

  I'm not. It's 2020 at that time.

• 57:56Speaker 03

  Okay, okay. Ultimately, he has zero survival skills.

• 57:59Bobby Lee?

  They're pretty much the 1700s.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  In any-

• 58:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was the 1700s.

• 58:02Speaker 03

  That you thought you could spear a fish? Nick, we have a video of you not able to walk in waves. You can't-

• 58:08Speaker 04

  The Pacific is more aggressive than the Atlantic.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  The stupidest thing I've ever-

• 58:14Speaker 04

  No, it's true.

• 58:14Bobby Lee?

  That's true.

• 58:15Speaker 04

  Google it.

• 58:16Speaker 03

  Oh, right here, Bobby, wait, watch.

• 58:18Bobby Lee?

  Watch.

• 58:18Speaker 03

  And watch.

• 58:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:19Speaker 03

  It gets worse and worse and worse. Hold on. It gets even worse, Bobby, you need to watch that, look, look.

• 58:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, let me look, let me look.

• 58:26Speaker 03

  Then it's fine, right?

• 58:27Speaker 04

  In my defense, I didn't want to-

• 58:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, wait, everybody else is standing up completely normally, and then watch, when the water recedes, it's even worse than Nick.

• 58:36Bobby Lee?

  Okay, is that in slow mo?

• 58:37Speaker 04

  It pulls.

• 58:38Speaker 03

  Oh, you missed, you took it out, it pulls.

• 58:40Speaker 04

  You took that hard out on your insert.

• 58:42Bobby Lee?

  All right, all right. Based on what I saw, you look like a Pixar character.

• 58:46Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 58:47Bobby Lee?

  No, that's not a good thing. All right, you don't look human there, in that situation.

• 58:51Speaker 03

  You both look like you could be inside a movie.

• 58:54Bobby Lee?

  A monster, both.

• 58:55Speaker 04

  Monsters, Inc. 2?

• 58:57Speaker 03

  Mine was wild, gee.

• 59:00Speaker 04

  No, no, you're the, you're, uh, Mike Wazowski and I'm the, who's the villain? The purple one, the salamander one.

• 59:06Bobby Lee?

  The salamander one, yeah, very good reference.

• 59:07Speaker 03

  But Nick, you have no, I, I, I love you. You're great, you're a wonderful friend, you're a smart business person.

• 59:13Speaker 04

  I, I'm not clip that, that is the first time I have ever heard him say I love you.

• 59:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow, this is the first time he's ever.

• 59:21Speaker 03

  But I'm saying that you have absolutely.

• 59:23Speaker 04

  In Bobby's garage, the first time you're gonna tell me you love me?

• 59:27Speaker 03

  Because I'm trying to, to emphasize a point here that you have no skills. You would not survive, you would die immediately, you are malnourished. You have no idea how to cook, you have no idea how to collect things, you don't understand nature, you don't understand anything. You would not do well.

• 59:44Bobby Lee?

  You know what you, like, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, look at me. You know those photos of Ukrainian soldiers coming back from the war? That's your look now.

• 59:53Speaker 04

  And that's what I was going for.

• 59:55Bobby Lee?

  All right, they're malnourished.

• 59:57Speaker 04

  What are your skills?

• 59:58Speaker 03

  It doesn't matter because it doesn't even matter.

• 1:00:00Bobby Lee?

  I, I can answer it for him.

• 1:00:02Speaker 04

  Do it.

• 1:00:03Bobby Lee?

  He's way more muscular.

• 1:00:06Speaker 04

  That's gonna slow him down.

• 1:00:07Bobby Lee?

  No, no, he can lift things, I'm sorry, he can lift things, right?

• 1:00:11Speaker 04

  What are you lifting?

• 1:00:12Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 1:00:13Speaker 06

  Well, he does have a point.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  Nick thinks he's walking through a Disney forest, by the way. He thinks he's.

• 1:00:20Speaker 06

  I do think that the upside to being malnourished is that you are used to being malnourished. So therefore not eating for long periods of time and fasting.

• 1:00:29Bobby Lee?

  He would cease to exist.

• 1:00:31Speaker 06

  Yeah, but big muscles need a lot of calories to like sustain.

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  I lived on a six floor walk up. And every time Nick came up, I'm not making this up, no, and his Corelleville coat, it was literally this.

• 1:00:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:52Speaker 04

  You're not wrong.

• 1:00:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:53Speaker 04

  In my defense.

• 1:00:54Bobby Lee?

  Okay, there is, there's always a defense, okay, go ahead.

• 1:00:57Speaker 04

  I have been healthier this year.

• 1:01:01Bobby Lee?

  Everybody.

• 1:01:02Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:01:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, everybody.

• 1:01:03Speaker 06

  What have you changed?

• 1:01:04Speaker 04

  I worked out for the first time in my life.

• 1:01:08Speaker 06

  What did that look like?

• 1:01:10Speaker 04

  I did Pilates.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  We have a video of it.

• 1:01:12Speaker 04

  And I now have been going three to four times a week.

• 1:01:14Speaker 06

  Oh, my God.

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  One in his bathing suit from 1912. It's online of his Pilates class. And he kept saying, now, people say I have birthing hips. Will this help me in the Pilates class? And the woman didn't have an answer for him.

• 1:01:29Speaker 04

  But that's progress.

• 1:01:30Bobby Lee?

  It is progress. And that's, you know, I quit smoking a month ago. And that's progress. Yeah, yeah. Is that you doing?

• 1:01:36Speaker 04

  No, that's working out with Bob.

• 1:01:37Speaker 03

  There's a bit, no, no, no.

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  The Pilates, I'm in like a green one.

• 1:01:40Speaker 03

  There is a video of Nick on YouTube. There's a video of Nick trying to lift.

• 1:01:45Speaker 04

  Right there.

• 1:01:45Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:01:48Speaker 04

  Now, I thought that it would make me limber.

• 1:01:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:52Speaker 04

  It's a very flexible outfit.

• 1:01:53Speaker 03

  He's like, oh, God, this is a lot. She was like, well, this is just the warm up.

• 1:01:56Bobby Lee?

  Are you in the movie Dune? What is going on here?

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  Dude four. This is his outfit, Nick.

• 1:02:01Bobby Lee?

  We're watching Dune four, ladies and gentlemen.

• 1:02:04Speaker 04

  It was very comfortable.

• 1:02:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's insane. Okay, good. Look at your legs. Wow.

• 1:02:12Speaker 04

  But for the first time in 24 years, I was.

• 1:02:14Bobby Lee?

  That's amazing. That's amazing. Yeah, yeah. And, and I have to say this, that you do look young. So something's working.

• 1:02:22Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:02:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I think that Mateo has a point that in every single survival situation that you can ever imagine, you would be the last person picked.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  If we called all of our friends right now and your mother, everyone would say the same thing. You would not survive.

• 1:02:39Bobby Lee?

  You would not survive.

• 1:02:40Speaker 03

  If we called Bob, if we called Monet, if we called Taylor.

• 1:02:43Speaker 04

  But you also all say that because you all like.

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  Know you.

• 1:02:46Speaker 04

  Just go.

• 1:02:47Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 1:02:47Bobby Lee?

  No, that's not it.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  We know you.

• 1:02:49Bobby Lee?

  No, Nick, Nick.

• 1:02:50Speaker 04

  Deep down, you all know.

• 1:02:52Bobby Lee?

  Nick, you, you are.

• 1:02:54Speaker 04

  I'm like Reba, and I'm gonna survive.

• 1:02:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:02:57Speaker 06

  You know, I just, not because I'm playing devil's advocate, I see it.

• 1:03:02Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:03:03Speaker 06

  I see it.

• 1:03:04Bobby Lee?

  I can't fucking believe it.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  You need to, you need to experience.

• 1:03:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:07Speaker 03

  One flight of stairs with him.

• 1:03:08Speaker 04

  He sees something.

• 1:03:10Speaker 06

  And you know what it is? Is that he has what you have, Bobby.

• 1:03:13Bobby Lee?

  That's what I was about to say.

• 1:03:14Speaker 06

  The weasely nastiness of just the.

• 1:03:18Speaker 04

  Is that what you guys were thinking? I was thinking autism. I was thinking autism.

• 1:03:23Bobby Lee?

  No, I was thinking easily nasty.

• 1:03:24Speaker 06

  Usually, it's kind of like the na- like, it's like the cockroach syndrome.

• 1:03:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's a cockroach.

• 1:03:29Speaker 06

  You can live without your head for 20 days.

• 1:03:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:32Speaker 06

  And I think that really takes you far. Because if you watch any of these shows, right?

• 1:03:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:37Speaker 06

  It's like, the villains survive.

• 1:03:39Bobby Lee?

  I know, but it's that's, forget the word villain, alright?

• 1:03:42Speaker 06

  Okay, not that you're a villain, but I just like, you have an inner gr-.

• 1:03:44Speaker 03

  He is. And also, you have to remember, it's not just the surviving, it's the complaining. He won't even make it with other people because they'll kill him because he's complaining so much.

• 1:03:55Speaker 04

  You don't think they would kill you?

• 1:03:58Speaker 03

  No. I would do great.

• 1:03:59Bobby Lee?

  Mateo, listen, I've known you for a while, right? I have nev- I've never had a complaint. Yeah, in fact, when I see, I'm just being real and honest with you, okay? And whenever I see you, I go, I literally go, oh, this guy's a hard hitter. This guy's one of the best comics.

• 1:04:15Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:04:16Bobby Lee?

  On planet Earth, he's a destroyer.

• 1:04:18Speaker 04

  Incredible comic.

• 1:04:18Bobby Lee?

  No, he's a destroyer, right? And he's-

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  Is that keeping him alive in the rainforest?

• 1:04:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because what I'm saying is, is that to have that-

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  You're calling Lyle Lyle Crocodile the fucking joke? What?

• 1:04:30Bobby Lee?

  What, listen to me.

• 1:04:31Speaker 04

  Lyle Lyle Crocodile.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  What are your references? Wish phone? Like, what the hell are your goddamn references? You're like, what's wrong with you?

• 1:04:45Speaker 04

  Not wish phone.

• 1:04:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's- What's Lyle Lyle Crocodile? I've never even heard of it before.

• 1:04:51Speaker 04

  Shawn Mendes voiced it, okay?

• 1:04:53Speaker 03

  Our Bardem?

• 1:04:53Bobby Lee?

  Lyle Lyle Crocodile, okay, okay.

• 1:04:57Speaker 03

  Great reference.

• 1:04:58Bobby Lee?

  It's a pure reference.

• 1:04:59Speaker 03

  Wait, Nick, I've never even heard of this.

• 1:05:00Speaker 04

  Your team likes me, at least.

• 1:05:02Speaker 03

  Nick, I've never heard of this. Why do you know a Lyle Lyle Crocodile?

• 1:05:07Speaker 04

  To your point, he's a hard hitter.

• 1:05:08Speaker 03

  It's a jungle out there.

• 1:05:10Bobby Lee?

  He's a hard hitter.

• 1:05:10Speaker 03

  Nick, your brain went here?

• 1:05:15Speaker 04

  What a cast, though.

• 1:05:16Speaker 06

  Have your Bardem Constance, whoa, look at this cast.

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  It's a great cast. Why, how did your brain go this so fast?

• 1:05:25Bobby Lee?

  It's a very good cast.

• 1:05:26Speaker 04

  I'm a hard hitter.

• 1:05:26Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:05:28Speaker 06

  Now, if, okay, should Bobby, for some reason, break a leg or open flesh wound? Would you be able to carry him out of the-

• 1:05:37Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  Nick, why don't you show everybody one push up?

• 1:05:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:46Speaker 03

  Go ahead, Mr. Survival, one.

• 1:05:49Bobby Lee?

  Like Forrest Gump, remember Forrest Gump? He ran back to...

• 1:05:52Speaker 06

  Multiple times.

• 1:05:54Bobby Lee?

  Multiple times, right? Would you run back for me in a war?

• 1:05:57Speaker 06

  Or Lieutenant Dan for...

• 1:05:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:59Speaker 04

  Well, no.

• 1:06:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, why?

• 1:06:02Speaker 04

  You don't, you leave the weak.

• 1:06:04Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:06:06Speaker 03

  Hey, survival, survivor.

• 1:06:07Bobby Lee?

  It's a survival instinct, yeah, yeah, you leave the weak, yeah.

• 1:06:10Speaker 03

  You're not gonna the Purple Heart. The second someone gets a flesh wound, like, drop 'em.

• 1:06:14Speaker 04

  But that's nature, it's just, I watch a lot of nature documentaries, and in The Wolf Pack, they always say the weakest one trails behind and eventually it dies off. They don't stay behind.

• 1:06:22Bobby Lee?

  I know, but, but Nick, I'm right here and you're literally right here and I'm like, hey dude, can you pick me up? And you would still run away.

• 1:06:29Speaker 06

  Would you be able to...

• 1:06:30Speaker 03

  Can you try and pick him up to see if you can?

• 1:06:33Speaker 04

  Under, no, sir.

• 1:06:34Speaker 03

  Try.

• 1:06:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, can you try to pick me up now?

• 1:06:36Speaker 04

  I would be able to pick. I can't pick, I could probably barely pick, I would never.

• 1:06:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  Maybe go underneath and just pick him up.

• 1:06:44Bobby Lee?

  Where's the best place to do it?

• 1:06:45Speaker 04

  Right there, right there, right there.

• 1:06:46Speaker 03

  Just like a hug?

• 1:06:47Bobby Lee?

  Right here.

• 1:06:48Speaker 03

  You can just stand up.

• 1:06:48Bobby Lee?

  Well, I'm like, I'm wounded.

• 1:06:49Speaker 04

  What's the best way to pick someone up?

• 1:06:51Speaker 03

  Wow, I see that your whole outfit is on.

• 1:06:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, just try to, your arms around me, right? And try to pick me up.

• 1:06:58Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:06:58Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 1:06:59Speaker 04

  Wait.

• 1:06:59Speaker 03

  Right, like that, just hug.

• 1:07:00Bobby Lee?

  You can go this way.

• 1:07:01Speaker 04

  But you have to make yourself...

• 1:07:02Speaker 03

  It looks like a praying mantis trying to eat it.

• 1:07:04Speaker 06

  No, you have to be here, Bobby, you have...

• 1:07:06Speaker 04

  You have to make yourself...

• 1:07:07Bobby Lee?

  My leg is gone from a war.

• 1:07:09Speaker 06

  He, he cannot be stiff or use his core, he's injured. He's gonna be dead weight.

• 1:07:14Speaker 04

  Okay, so you're putting it all on me?

• 1:07:16Bobby Lee?

  Yes!

• 1:07:17Speaker 03

  That's the whole thing.

• 1:07:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I would go, you can go under too. My crotch, I'm fine, okay?

• 1:07:24Speaker 03

  He can do it.

• 1:07:25Bobby Lee?

  You can do it.

• 1:07:25Speaker 04

  This is how those blowjob...

• 1:07:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 1:07:28Speaker 03

  Always, always, come on, come on, come on, Nick, come on!

• 1:07:30Speaker 04

  No, hold on, I think this way.

• 1:07:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, okay, go ahead.

• 1:07:35Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:07:38Bobby Lee?

  Now do that for seven miles.

• 1:07:41Speaker 04

  That's the Pilates. That was the Pilates.

• 1:07:46Bobby Lee?

  That was insane, dude.

• 1:07:49Bobby Lee?

  That was insane. Are you okay?

• 1:07:52Speaker 03

  Can I defend Nick a little bit, though?

• 1:07:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 1:07:55Speaker 04

  Oh, now you want to defend me?

• 1:07:57Speaker 03

  He has no survival skills, but he is one of the smartest people that I know.

• 1:08:00Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good.

• 1:08:01Speaker 03

  I really mean that.

• 1:08:02Bobby Lee?

  And we need that.

• 1:08:03Speaker 03

  And he's an incredible business person. Like, we worked together on our podcast. He is smart. He gives amazing advice as a friend. He is incredibly intelligent. He's a really good friend. He just absolutely, under no circumstances, has any skills outside of his own apartment.

• 1:08:19Bobby Lee?

  I see, I see, I see.

• 1:08:20Speaker 03

  That's it.

• 1:08:21Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:08:23Speaker 03

  But you are, Nick, and you're a really, really, really good friend. You're loyal.

• 1:08:27Bobby Lee?

  And he loves you.

• 1:08:27Speaker 03

  You're dependable, you're smart, you're very funny.

• 1:08:29Speaker 04

  But?

• 1:08:30Speaker 03

  You're a wonderful asset to my life. But if we were in a forest together, I would want you dead, so I can use your bones to float myself to freedom.

• 1:08:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. You know what?

• 1:08:41Speaker 04

  I just don't understand what skills you think you're bringing.

• 1:08:44Speaker 03

  The thing is, even that I just look like I would do better, I'm already ten.

• 1:08:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:49Speaker 03

  Steps ahead of you.

• 1:08:50Bobby Lee?

  He looks like he knows what he's doing.

• 1:08:51Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:08:52Bobby Lee?

  Okay, go ahead.

• 1:08:53Speaker 04

  Scenario: The three of us, we are stranded somewhere, okay? No one within hundreds of miles from us.

• 1:09:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:01Speaker 04

  And we have to survive.

• 1:09:03Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:09:04Speaker 04

  Who are you killing first?

• 1:09:08Speaker 06

  Oh, good point.

• 1:09:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's a good point.

• 1:09:09Speaker 03

  Very good.

• 1:09:10Bobby Lee?

  That's a very good point.

• 1:09:11Speaker 06

  If we were gonna go full, like, Lord of the Five?

• 1:09:13Bobby Lee?

  Well, it's us three.

• 1:09:14Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 1:09:15Bobby Lee?

  All right. May I say something?

• 1:09:17Speaker 04

  And then I'll ask you.

• 1:09:18Bobby Lee?

  Because I don't have an, astonishingly, I don't have an immediate answer for that. I'd have to spend four days with you to see if your mind could help me in the situation.

• 1:09:28Speaker 03

  You couldn't figure this out in 45 minutes?

• 1:09:31Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 1:09:31Speaker 03

  You need four more days of this?

• 1:09:32Bobby Lee?

  No, you just said he was bright.

• 1:09:34Speaker 03

  He's bright in the sense that, so like, he would do well on, like, Real Housewives.

• 1:09:41Speaker 03

  You understand what I'm saying? Right.

• 1:09:42Bobby Lee?

  But in terms of like, you know, how do we build-

• 1:09:44Speaker 03

  He didn't know that weather, he didn't know that clouds were made of water. He didn't, he didn't. Clouds are made of- He didn't know, he didn't know. Water, what? No, they're not. I said, yes, they are. There's millions of, what?

• 1:09:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:56Speaker 03

  Water?

• 1:09:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, okay. So I would have to spend a couple of days, like, because we're gonna build a fort? You know what I mean? We have plans.

• 1:10:04Speaker 03

  We're not in third grade, building a fort on a Saturday. We're building a home.

• 1:10:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A shelter.

• 1:10:09Speaker 04

  Got reaction.

• 1:10:10Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:10:10Speaker 04

  Who are you killing first?

• 1:10:11Bobby Lee?

  Got you.

• 1:10:14Speaker 06

  Hmm.

• 1:10:14Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 1:10:15Speaker 06

  If I'm going just on looks alone and I know nothing else, I'd have to go for what's gonna hold me over for months, in terms of the amount of meat. And I'm gonna go for the thickest person in the room.

• 1:10:29Speaker 03

  But he's also seven feet taller than me.

• 1:10:32Speaker 04

  And you still have more meat on your bones.

• 1:10:35Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no.

• 1:10:36Speaker 03

  Looking at your bubble.

• 1:10:38Bobby Lee?

  Honestly, Kalai, like, your argument, because I know you're trying to defend him, right?

• 1:10:42Speaker 04

  Her argument is solid.

• 1:10:44Speaker 06

  No, I-

• 1:10:44Bobby Lee?

  No, no, it's not solid, it's not solid.

• 1:10:46Speaker 06

  If I'm just-

• 1:10:46Speaker 04

  You could eat him for a year.

• 1:10:48Bobby Lee?

  No, I think you have a lot of leg meat.

• 1:10:51Speaker 03

  He actually does. You have big calves.

• 1:10:52Bobby Lee?

  You have big calves. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, you do.

• 1:10:54Bobby Lee?

  That's a lot, that's the best meat. That's the best meat.

• 1:10:56Speaker 04

  I have no meat anywhere else.

• 1:10:58Speaker 03

  I do have a gigantic-

• 1:10:59Bobby Lee?

  And also, day one, day one, you wouldn't be thinking about food.

• 1:11:02Speaker 06

  No, I wouldn't be.

• 1:11:04Speaker 03

  I will say I do have a gigantic ass, and that you probably could-

• 1:11:07Speaker 06

  That's where I, that's what I was going with. After I saw the Mexico vlog, I was like, oh, he's got some-

• 1:11:12Bobby Lee?

  You got a lot of ass meat.

• 1:11:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, you got a lot of ass meat. And that is, as a survivor, the first thing we look at.

• 1:11:17Bobby Lee?

  It looks like it's delicious as well.

• 1:11:19Speaker 06

  It looks very, yeah.

• 1:11:21Bobby Lee?

  Laurie's, if you go to the steakhouse, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:23Speaker 06

  It could last us weeks.

• 1:11:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:25Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:11:25Bobby Lee?

  Your ass would last a long time.

• 1:11:27Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:11:27Speaker 03

  Okay, great.

• 1:11:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. But I, I think instinctually, I can even answer for you, you would kill Nick first.

• 1:11:33Speaker 06

  Um, I'll tell you why I wouldn't.

• 1:11:35Speaker 03

  You would. After two days of complaining. Jesus, what the hell, where the hell's the Four Seasons? Is that another mosquito? What the fuck was that? Does anyone know where we're going? Jesus, goddamn Christ, aren't there helicopters out here? And where's our UFO?

• 1:11:50Bobby Lee?

  I don't understand why this is going on.

• 1:11:52Speaker 04

  And you were complaining?

• 1:11:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:54Speaker 04

  Nick, I- You're just cool, calm and collected? More than you.

• 1:12:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and now if I had an option of 10 people, you two would not be the chosen ones. I understand, I agree with that. You understand that, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if it was everyone in this room, I had to pick two, you, you guys are out.

• 1:12:13Speaker 06

  Who would you pick, two?

• 1:12:15Bobby Lee?

  Two? Alex.

• 1:12:18Speaker 04

  Meat.

• 1:12:19Bobby Lee?

  No, not to eat. He carry logs.

• 1:12:22Speaker 04

  Log carry?

• 1:12:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's gotta carry logs, you gotta, you gotta figure out the chop out that tree. You know, I'll figure it out, man. You're a yes man, right? And probably you.

• 1:12:32Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 1:12:32Bobby Lee?

  Cause I think you're the smartest one.

• 1:12:33Speaker 06

  I can spear a fish.

• 1:12:34Bobby Lee?

  She can spear a fish, she's a very good-

• 1:12:36Speaker 04

  We both can spear a fish.

• 1:12:37Bobby Lee?

  No, she's an actual deep diver.

• 1:12:39Speaker 03

  Why don't you take us through the steps of spearing a fish?

• 1:12:43Speaker 04

  You get a thick enough stick-

• 1:12:45Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 1:12:46Speaker 04

  And you whittle the end till it's a sharp point.

• 1:12:48Speaker 06

  I like that you know that it's whittle.

• 1:12:49Speaker 03

  But how do you whittle, Nick?

• 1:12:52Speaker 04

  With friction.

• 1:12:53Speaker 03

  With your hands?

• 1:12:54Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:12:55Speaker 03

  Your hands is gonna make it a spear.

• 1:12:56Speaker 04

  That's going to cause friction to whittle it down.

• 1:12:58Speaker 03

  Tell us.

• 1:12:59Speaker 04

  I don't know, other wood, something that's rough that can do it.

• 1:13:04Speaker 03

  Okay, and now you've got your stick- You've got your heavy stick with your whittled end.

• 1:13:08Speaker 04

  I go to the river and I look for bubbles where the fish will be.

• 1:13:12Bobby Lee?

  I'll get it.

• 1:13:13Speaker 04

  And I fucking-

• 1:13:14Speaker 00

  Find the bubbles?

• 1:13:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you throw it?

• 1:13:17Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, you can't see in a river.

• 1:13:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you could also-

• 1:13:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, you can.

• 1:13:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you can. And also, you can also be in the river.

• 1:13:24Speaker 04

  Turned against him.

• 1:13:25Bobby Lee?

  You can go knee deep into the river with the spear and-

• 1:13:28Speaker 04

  You could go knee deep, I'm not going knee deep in the river.

• 1:13:30Bobby Lee?

  Why, why would-

• 1:13:30Speaker 03

  Well, knee deep for both of you is a very different-

• 1:13:34Speaker 03

  I'm just gonna point that out.

• 1:13:36Speaker 06

  Really, I just wanna say, Nick, I really tried for you and I-

• 1:13:39Speaker 04

  I appreciate it.

• 1:13:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:41Speaker 04

  I appreciate it.

• 1:13:42Bobby Lee?

  And Nick, I would, I would have you on this podcast solo.

• 1:13:45Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:13:47Bobby Lee?

  I think you're very interesting and I, we could just make fun of each other.

• 1:13:50Speaker 04

  I would love for you to replace my podcast.

• 1:13:53Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't think so. I don't think so, but, and if you guys ever have, if I'm in New York, cause I'm doing-

• 1:13:57Speaker 03

  We would love to have you guys on if you're in New York.

• 1:13:59Bobby Lee?

  Well, I'm doing a special for Hulu that I'm, that's what, and it's coming out, you know what I mean, about five or six months.

• 1:14:04Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 1:14:04Bobby Lee?

  And, um-

• 1:14:05Speaker 04

  Have you filmed it yet?

• 1:14:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:07Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:14:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and I'm gonna-

• 1:14:09Speaker 04

  Well, I assumed.

• 1:14:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did.

• 1:14:11Speaker 06

  I do think that someone from Survivor should cast you.

• 1:14:15Speaker 03

  Oh, he would be, well, we want to do Amazing Race because we would lose the first episode.

• 1:14:18Speaker 06

  Oh my god.

• 1:14:19Speaker 04

  We do, we really want to do Amazing Race.

• 1:14:21Speaker 03

  We do. Just to lose.

• 1:14:23Speaker 04

  Do you imagine us trying to navigate some country?

• 1:14:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:28Speaker 04

  You can't even drive.

• 1:14:29Speaker 06

  Production would plot so that you stay there till the very, the very end.

• 1:14:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, as a producer, I would go, yeah, cut it, you know, make them win.

• 1:14:36Speaker 03

  Screaming at each other.

• 1:14:36Speaker 04

  We'd be tired.

• 1:14:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:39Speaker 03

  I would be good on Amazing Race.

• 1:14:40Bobby Lee?

  Naked and afraid? Naked and afraid? How many days?

• 1:14:43Speaker 03

  Well, you'd be good entertainment.

• 1:14:44Speaker 04

  How many days can I last naked and afraid?

• 1:14:46Bobby Lee?

  Naked and afraid. How about you, Mateo?

• 1:14:47Speaker 03

  I don't even know what the concept is.

• 1:14:49Bobby Lee?

  You're, you're, okay, so you're with a partner, you're completely naked, right? You only have a pot, and the other person has a machete.

• 1:14:57Speaker 04

  No, you're allowed to choose your items.

• 1:14:58Bobby Lee?

  You just choose your item, and then you go out into the middle of-

• 1:15:02Speaker 06

  Twenty-one days?

• 1:15:03Bobby Lee?

  For twenty-one days, and you have to hunt for your own food, you have to make your own shelter.

• 1:15:08Speaker 03

  You could never-

• 1:15:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, so how many days could you last?

• 1:15:11Speaker 03

  No, I'm not saying I could either, but-

• 1:15:13Speaker 04

  Both last zero.

• 1:15:14Speaker 03

  It'd be nice pictures.

• 1:15:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good photo op.

• 1:15:18Speaker 03

  Post?

• 1:15:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I, I think I could last two days.

• 1:15:22Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:15:22Bobby Lee?

  I think two days.

• 1:15:23Speaker 06

  Two days.

• 1:15:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:24Speaker 06

  If it was even a little bit cold, I'd be out in the first day.

• 1:15:27Speaker 03

  Well, I love all the white women who go on Survivor. It's now fif- like seventy seasons, and they just still can't grasp what the show is, and the first rainstorm, they sit there, I just didn't think it was gonna be this hard.

• 1:15:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:39Speaker 06

  It's-

• 1:15:40Bobby Lee?

  But in this show, most of the, I think most of the ones that survive are women. I see a lot of dudes quitting.

• 1:15:47Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:15:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:15:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and the women's, I'm staying twenty-one days.

• 1:15:49Speaker 04

  Well, cause the men always do something stupid.

• 1:15:52Speaker 06

  They do too much in the first day, one.

• 1:15:54Speaker 04

  And they get like infected, or they like-

• 1:15:56Bobby Lee?

  Alright.

• 1:15:56Speaker 06

  They want, they burn out.

• 1:15:57Bobby Lee?

  They burn out.

• 1:15:58Speaker 06

  The girls, they chill out.

• 1:15:59Speaker 03

  Women are generally smarter.

• 1:16:00Bobby Lee?

  They'll eat a seed, I'm fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's you. That's right. I think you'd be my partner in Naked and Afraid.

• 1:16:07Speaker 03

  Nick, they're about to spear right now.

• 1:16:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, here we go.

• 1:16:09Speaker 03

  They're about to spear right now, Nick.

• 1:16:10Bobby Lee?

  You have to do this?

• 1:16:11Speaker 06

  It's the electric eel.

• 1:16:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:12Speaker 04

  Like looking at a mirror?

• 1:16:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Yeah, this is no way you, Nick.

• 1:16:17Speaker 06

  You know who I'd love to see you with is my partner. He's a hunter and a spear fisherman.

• 1:16:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:23Speaker 06

  And a butcher.

• 1:16:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:24Speaker 06

  God, I'd love to see you.

• 1:16:25Speaker 03

  I actually would love to if we can set that up because it would be endlessly.

• 1:16:29Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, um.

• 1:16:30Speaker 03

  Check out our podcast. Check out our podcast. It's a lot of just this.

• 1:16:33Bobby Lee?

  And I love this. I could do this every week with you.

• 1:16:37Speaker 03

  You guys are so much fun. I'm so happy that we got to do this.

• 1:16:40Bobby Lee?

  I laugh so hard with you guys.

• 1:16:42Speaker 06

  This was honestly so funny.

• 1:16:43Bobby Lee?

  So fun. So give them a round of applause, everybody.

• 1:16:46Speaker 03

  Thanks, guys. Thank you so much.

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