Pod Insights TigerBelly Ben Schwartz & Notoriously Wild About this episode Actor Ben Schwartz (Sonic, Parks & Rec) stops by the studio & Jamie fangirls.
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Transcript 19,679 words · 8 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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1:27 Speaker 01 Buy until people make 50, so they can fly. Kind of like ironic, Mexican.
1:32 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
1:33 Speaker 01 Guess what? Nobody laughs.
1:37 Speaker 01 Oi! Oh my gosh. Wee, hell yeah.
1:49 Bobby Lee? Ben, you have to work... Ben, they're employees. You have to meet everybody, you know? He's a good guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a good guy, dude. They're employees. Don't talk to me.
2:00 Speaker 01 What's up, bro?
2:04 Bobby Lee? You play music in this?
2:06 Speaker 01 A little bit.
2:07 Speaker 00 Oh, put those headphones on.
2:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
2:19 Bobby Lee? No, hi mate, please don't sing. You want, you want to have the opening line or what?
2:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, can I introduce him?
2:24 Bobby Lee? Oh, you do?
2:25 Speaker 04 Big fan.
2:25 Speaker 00 Big fan.
2:26 Speaker 04 You're a fan of mine?
2:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:28 Speaker 04 Oh, we'll see what happens. By the song, by the intro, we'll see, we'll see.
2:33 Speaker 01 Okay. Can, uh, can I do a character reference?
2:37 Speaker 00 Are you doing the song or a character?
2:39 Speaker 04 Can you do the song as my character?
2:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:41 Speaker 04 Holy shit, I can't wait for this.
2:45 Bobby Lee? Ready?
2:46 Speaker 01 I am John Raphael.
2:47 Bobby Lee? Okay. Bro, but...
2:49 Speaker 01 He's the worst!
2:51 Speaker 04 Guys, you've stopped the music.
2:53 Bobby Lee? I know, because it, it wasn't... Let me do a couple of bars.
2:57 Speaker 01 Okay.
2:58 Bobby Lee? Right, you can just, it's gotta also be in tune, and it's also gonna be in the rhythm.
3:02 Speaker 04 But he already blew it, you know what he's gonna do and say.
3:04 Bobby Lee? What, I know, you have to come up with something else now.
3:07 Speaker 01 Okay.
3:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, that's called improv, guy.
3:09 Speaker 01 Okay.
3:10 Speaker 04 He said you're big fans, this should be easy, right?
3:14 Speaker 04 It's not just that one famous character, you know, like other things.
3:16 Speaker 01 I know, uh, uh, Milkman?
3:18 Speaker 04 Alright, take your time.
3:21 Speaker 04 Couple bars, you tell him when, Bobby.
3:23 Speaker 01 Tell me when.
3:26 Bobby Lee? Now.
3:27 Speaker 01 Okay, I'm gonna drop a couple.
3:29 Bobby Lee? Uh, do you don't...
3:30 Speaker 04 Yeah, you could start from the beginning.
3:33 Bobby Lee? Bro, bro, do you know how music works?
3:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
3:36 Speaker 04 And that was an incredible intro, too. The music was unbelievable.
3:40 Bobby Lee? But Ben, I was in the fucking zone, dude!
3:42 Speaker 04 I felt it.
3:43 Bobby Lee? You felt it, right, right, a connection, and you fucked it up!
3:45 Speaker 01 My, my head.
3:46 Bobby Lee? Uh, it's, what? My, my head?
3:48 Speaker 04 My head.
3:48 Speaker 01 My pad.
3:50 Speaker 04 My, my head.
3:51 Bobby Lee? Ben, I wanna say something to you before we get into the song. Um, we found this kid.
3:55 Speaker 04 Oh, where'd you find him?
3:56 Bobby Lee? Um, here in, in this garage. He came with a guy named Ralph Barboza.
3:59 Speaker 04 Okay.
4:00 Bobby Lee? You know him?
4:00 Speaker 04 No, but the name is great.
4:03 Bobby Lee? It's a really good name.
4:04 Speaker 04 It's a great name.
4:04 Bobby Lee? For a Hispanic, that's a top notch.
4:06 Speaker 04 Oh my god, okay, I'll let you make those jokes, but I'll be...
4:08 Bobby Lee? What do you mean?
4:09 Speaker 04 You gotta keep going.
4:09 Bobby Lee? Well, you think Ralph Barboza's not a good Hispanic name?
4:11 Speaker 04 Is it?
4:12 Bobby Lee? I met a Jose, and I'm not really, I'm not digging it. When I meet a Jose, I don't dig it. It's like, come out, I've been there, done that.
4:20 Speaker 04 Okay.
4:21 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean? It's like, you know?
4:22 Speaker 04 Be more original.
4:23 Bobby Lee? Right.
4:23 Speaker 04 How are you not playing piano under this?
4:25 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's like, meeting a Japanese guy named Yoshi. I don't like it, don't like it. Don't like it. It's like meeting a white guy named Craig. Oh. Big? Ben. Oh, Ben. Oh, yeah. Okay, good. So can we? How about not, how about not? Everyone do a line in this. We're gonna do a line. You too, Joel.
4:52 Speaker 04 Is this what the show is?
4:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what the show is.
4:55 Speaker 04 Do you sing every show? Does everybody sing every show?
4:57 Bobby Lee? This is a new thing.
4:58 Speaker 04 Oh, great. I love it. I can't wait.
5:00 Bobby Lee? It's a new, it's a new, it's a new thing.
5:03 Speaker 04 Okay. What do we sing about? You start it.
5:07 Bobby Lee? It's a new, it's a new, it's a new, it's a new thing.
5:15 Bobby Lee? My name is. It's an intro. My name is Bobby Lee.
5:20 Speaker 04 Okay.
5:21 Bobby Lee? When it's erect, it's four inches long, but it's thick. No, you can do, this is my talent.
5:27 Speaker 04 Yeah, keep going.
5:29 Bobby Lee? It's my talent.
5:29 Speaker 04 Don't interrupt that.
5:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah. It's like a spam can. The thickness of it.
5:34 Speaker 04 Yeah, I guess.
5:38 Speaker 04 Not the smell of it.
5:43 Speaker 04 Thickness.
5:43 Bobby Lee? God, you're good. You're so good, yeah.
5:45 Speaker 04 Thickness.
5:45 Bobby Lee? Go, hymen.
5:47 Speaker 01 My name is hymen. But sometimes I go by Ernie. It's a character of mine. It's in the works. It's not doing so good.
6:01 Bobby Lee? Jules?
6:03 Speaker 02 My name is Jules.
6:05 Speaker 04 Wow, and this is every episode?
6:08 Speaker 04 Yeah, let her cook, let her cook, let her cook, let her cook.
6:11 Speaker 02 You can call me Rudy.
6:15 Speaker 02 I'm from the Philippines. I have monkey feet.
6:23 Bobby Lee? Wow, that was, that's a shocker. I know you do have them.
6:27 Speaker 04 What does that mean, monkey feet? Is that a?
6:29 Bobby Lee? Time a tree really quickly.
6:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
6:31 Speaker 04 Oh, can you grip on a thing?
6:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Ben? Ben?
6:36 Speaker 04 My name is Ben.
6:39 Speaker 04 I'm sitting next to a spam can.
6:43 Speaker 04 And we're all just trying our very best.
6:47 Bobby Lee? So good.
6:48 Speaker 04 Okay?
6:51 Speaker 04 So let's try our best together today. Today.
7:01 Bobby Lee? Wow.
7:02 Speaker 01 Ben Schwartz.
7:03 Speaker 04 Ben Schwartz, everybody. Very excited to be here. Are you sponsored by one of these beverages?
7:08 Bobby Lee? No, but they're for you. We get them for you.
7:10 Speaker 04 Thank you very much.
7:11 Bobby Lee? And what a pleasure to have you on the program today. My name is Bob. I'm the captain of the ship. This is my podcast. You know, people think it's other people's, like it's a, you know, I mean, it's mine.
7:24 Speaker 04 This is your podcast?
7:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:26 Speaker 04 How does that make you two feel?
7:27 Speaker 01 I'm grateful.
7:28 Speaker 04 I'm grateful.
7:29 Speaker 02 I'm OK with it.
7:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. And I want to give you some of your credits, if I may.
7:34 Speaker 01 If I may.
7:35 Speaker 04 You want to give me my own credit?
7:36 Bobby Lee? I mean, the audience, you know?
7:37 Speaker 04 OK, great.
7:38 Bobby Lee? Audience wants to know.
7:39 Speaker 04 OK.
7:40 Bobby Lee? Although they probably do already know.
7:41 Speaker 04 No, probably not.
7:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
7:42 Speaker 04 I never assume anybody knows who I am.
7:44 Bobby Lee? Really?
7:44 Speaker 04 Yep, never.
7:45 Speaker 01 Can I do it?
7:46 Bobby Lee? OK. All right, you can do it.
7:49 Speaker 01 All right, guys, we have the one and only Ben Schwartz from College Humor, Parks and Recreation.
7:55 Speaker 04 My first credit is College Humor? All right, we're going into, we're going into, we're going into date.
8:01 Bobby Lee? Go big first, go big and then look.
8:03 Speaker 04 No, I like this. College Humor, Parks and Rec.
8:05 Speaker 01 Parks and Recs, the House of Cards.
8:09 Speaker 04 House of Lies, yeah.
8:10 Speaker 01 House of Lies.
8:11 Speaker 04 House of Cards.
8:13 Speaker 01 And the franchise that saved my relationship with my stepkids, Sonic the Hedgehog.
8:18 Speaker 04 Yeah, OK, great.
8:20 Bobby Lee? Wow, amazing. Three Sonic, right, three Sonics.
8:24 Speaker 04 You, how many stepkids do you have?
8:25 Speaker 01 Two.
8:26 Speaker 04 Two, and how old are they?
8:27 Speaker 01 Ten and eleven.
8:29 Speaker 04 Ten and eleven. OK, we can give them a Sonic voice note. Do you want that before it's over?
8:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
8:33 Speaker 04 You don't want, oh, you don't want it?
8:33 Speaker 01 No, I'm not with her no more, so.
8:38 Speaker 04 So if they're listening, or if she's listening to this podcast, you could have for free and easily said yes and given her something her kids would have loved.
8:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
8:45 Speaker 04 But instead, so the world knows who listens to this, you're saying, I don't want them to have that joy.
8:51 Speaker 01 Not right now.
8:51 Speaker 04 OK, all right.
8:52 Bobby Lee? Wow.
8:53 Speaker 01 Ben Schwartz, everybody.
8:55 Bobby Lee? Thank you. Clap, clap, clap. Very good, very good.
8:57 Speaker 04 Very excited to be here.
8:58 Bobby Lee? I mean, what happened to them? Are you still in contact with your stepkids?
9:02 Speaker 01 No.
9:03 Bobby Lee? OK. Maybe not the shout out, maybe, though.
9:06 Speaker 04 Not a good shout out.
9:07 Bobby Lee? They're out of your life, you know?
9:09 Speaker 01 At the time.
9:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah. So Ben, um... You do improv, still, we talked outside a little bit.
9:16 Speaker 04 I do long form improv.
9:17 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
9:17 Speaker 04 Do you guys, has anybody here ever done long form improv? Nope. Yes? There you go.
9:21 Bobby Lee? No.
9:21 Speaker 04 Hey, there you go.
9:22 Bobby Lee? It's boring.
9:23 Speaker 04 Oh, you think it's boring?
9:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I mean, it's, it's a lot.
9:25 Speaker 04 Okay.
9:26 Bobby Lee? I've seen Ike do it.
9:27 Speaker 04 Oh, Ike's good.
9:28 Bobby Lee? He's very good. I've seen Keegan and Jordan do it.
9:30 Speaker 04 They're both incredible.
9:31 Bobby Lee? I think you've seen Mike McDonald do it, and a bunch of people do it.
9:34 Speaker 04 You're naming some of the people who are the best at it.
9:36 Bobby Lee? The best in the world.
9:37 Speaker 04 Well, I didn't say it like that.
9:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah, alright. They're great.
9:40 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah. I don't think that's...
9:42 Bobby Lee? Wow, masters of the second city and the growlings. They did it all.
9:47 Speaker 04 And UCB, and UCB.
9:48 Bobby Lee? UCB too. What school do you come from? It's UCB?
9:52 Speaker 04 Uh, Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York. I was a page.
9:54 Bobby Lee? Woo, la la.
9:56 Speaker 04 I was an intern there, so I can afford classes.
9:58 Bobby Lee? You know Amy Poehler?
9:59 Speaker 04 Yeah, sure. I was an intern for her show, sure.
10:02 Bobby Lee? We had that bald guy on. What's his, I love him.
10:05 Speaker 04 The Bo, Barack Obama?
10:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we had Barack, no, the redhead, we love, I did the movies with him.
10:11 Speaker 04 Why are you looking at him?
10:13 Bobby Lee? He was a guest. He was in VP, Veeps.
10:15 Speaker 04 Veep? Oh, Matt Walsh.
10:17 Bobby Lee? Matt Walsh. He's not from?
10:18 Speaker 04 He's not bald, is he? Oh, he's also red.
10:20 Bobby Lee? He's red haired?
10:21 Speaker 04 Red haired, yeah, he's the best, he's so funny.
10:22 Bobby Lee? He's not from UCB?
10:23 Speaker 04 Yeah, he is, from Upright Citizens Brigade Theater.
10:25 Speaker 05 Because we're trying to figure out which one of those is real.
10:27 Bobby Lee? Well, how many people started fucking?
10:29 Speaker 05 If you're bald, you can't see.
10:30 Speaker 04 Matt Walsh, you're right.
10:30 Bobby Lee? How many people started UCB? How many people started UCB?
10:34 Speaker 04 This is what it is.
10:35 Bobby Lee? For, Amy Poehler, right?
10:37 Speaker 05 They came from Chicago.
10:38 Bobby Lee? And who has red hair amongst all of them?
10:40 Speaker 04 Amy Poehler, Matt Walsh.
10:41 Bobby Lee? There we go, look at him.
10:42 Speaker 04 Matt Besser.
10:42 Bobby Lee? He's not bald?
10:43 Speaker 04 Maybe he is.
10:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:45 Speaker 04 God, he's the best, I love him.
10:46 Bobby Lee? He's so good.
10:46 Speaker 04 When I was an intern, I helped him move into his apartment in New York. That was one of the things I had to do as an intern.
10:51 Bobby Lee? Whoa.
10:52 Speaker 04 I remember that. He was the best.
10:53 Bobby Lee? Was he, was he cool then, or no?
10:55 Speaker 04 He was the coolest then.
10:56 Bobby Lee? Sorry.
10:56 Speaker 04 And I had, I was just an intern. I was, I was a very much the lowest of the low, and he was so, all of them were.
11:01 Bobby Lee? You were nervous, were you nervous in the running room a little bit?
11:03 Speaker 04 Around him?
11:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
11:04 Speaker 04 At the beginning, all of them.
11:05 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:06 Speaker 04 They're all heroes, yeah.
11:07 Bobby Lee? Hero, hero.
11:07 Speaker 04 I hadn't been on stage yet.
11:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
11:08 Speaker 04 They had, they had created the theater that taught me how to do stuff.
11:11 Bobby Lee? Wait, you never, you didn't take any classes by then, or no?
11:14 Speaker 04 I was taking, you intern, so you can get free classes.
11:17 Bobby Lee? Hmm.
11:17 Speaker 04 So, once you intern, they allow you to take classes for free.
11:20 Bobby Lee? Well, so then you're, then you're a pro at improv, and these two kids here, they don't know much about it. So, maybe we could do like a mini class.
11:27 Speaker 04 Do you guys do stand up?
11:28 Bobby Lee? He does, yeah.
11:29 Speaker 04 How about yourself?
11:30 Speaker 02 No, never.
11:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
11:31 Speaker 04 No.
11:31 Bobby Lee? But they don't know the rules. Let me throw some...
11:34 Speaker 04 Can I tell you something that'd be so fun and really not boring? Talking about the, the rules of improv. Can I tell you something that's really gonna hit your demographic perfect? Me really breaking down step by step the rules.
11:49 Bobby Lee? Man, fuck you!
11:50 Speaker 04 Hit the song, new song, gotta be a new beat. I'll give you the rules, it's gotta be a new beat.
11:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. I only do slow music, but... No.
11:59 Speaker 04 Oh, that works?
11:59 Bobby Lee? No, it doesn't.
12:00 Speaker 04 You can't make a mistake, anything is great.
12:03 Bobby Lee? No, I don't like it. Yeah. So, so, so, ah, I'm so nervous.
12:11 Bobby Lee? Wait.
12:12 Speaker 04 Okay, I'll just talk.
12:14 Bobby Lee? Let me get, no, no, no, pa, pa, pa, pa. Oh, pa, pa, please, give you a shot.
12:17 Speaker 04 Of course, probably.
12:24 Speaker 04 Okay, get me back to the beginning, we can get there. Okay?
12:32 Speaker 04 Changing chords?
12:35 Speaker 04 Okay, I'm gonna keep going.
12:39 Speaker 04 Oh man, that's a tough progression. Can I keep going? Get me? Here are the rules of improv. I'm gonna sing to you nice and slow, you gotta yes and.
12:51 Bobby Lee? Yes and!
12:53 Speaker 04 Everybody's eye. Uh, see, tough chord progression.
12:56 Bobby Lee? No, it's not, it's really not, right? You gotta add information.
13:01 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's right.
13:02 Bobby Lee? You gotta always agree, which is yes and, which is yes and, that's all.
13:06 Speaker 04 Don't say no to the scene, wanna build it together.
13:11 Bobby Lee? Together.
13:11 Speaker 04 Tough progression.
13:14 Bobby Lee? Jose.
13:15 Speaker 04 Right, you're going back to your joke?
13:16 Bobby Lee? Yeah, back to it, yeah. Jose. I don't know what else to say. Yeah, you always did agree, right?
13:21 Speaker 04 You have an agree, you're trying to... You want me to keep going?
13:24 Bobby Lee? Yes.
13:26 Speaker 04 And. Yes and.
13:28 Bobby Lee? Yes and.
13:29 Speaker 04 The hardest thing is not saying no to anybody's idea. When something comes up, you're building it together and you're creating it, uh, together.
13:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah, for instance, if I said to you, Jaime, right, uh, you're doing a TED Talk. Okay? And we're gonna give you some arbitrary, uh, is that the right word? Arbitrary job, right? You have to be professional, even though you don't know the, the, the, you know, the, the, the, the, the job.
13:50 Speaker 04 Yeah.
13:51 Bobby Lee? I have speech impediments.
13:53 Speaker 04 Do you?
13:53 Bobby Lee? No.
13:54 Speaker 04 Oh.
13:55 Bobby Lee? And, um, but you gotta commit to it. And you gotta convince us. What would be, uh, Jaime's, um, profession, you think?
14:02 Speaker 04 Okay, so what you're doing is short form improv.
14:04 Bobby Lee? Oh, we have to do long form now?
14:06 Speaker 04 Short form improv is when you kinda give everybody everything and say, go.
14:09 Bobby Lee? Oh, I see.
14:09 Speaker 04 What we do, which I think you'll love.
14:11 Bobby Lee? Give me long form.
14:12 Speaker 04 So what I do is I tour with a show called Ben Schwartz and Friends. Like, this week when we're playing The Beacon, we're playing Sydney Opera House. We're playing these big fun venues, which long form improv has never gotten to play before.
14:20 Bobby Lee? Sydney Opera House.
14:21 Speaker 04 I know, it's all very silly.
14:22 Bobby Lee? How many people go?
14:23 Speaker 04 Um, to, to, I think, you probably played The Beacon before. Beacon's probably twenty-six-hundred, or, we do Chicago Theater. We did, uh, did Radio City Music Hall, first time for improv, which was very exciting.
14:33 Bobby Lee? Wow.
14:34 Speaker 04 Very exciting.
14:35 Bobby Lee? Me and Andrew sold fourteen thousand seats in Sydney.
14:37 Speaker 04 Whoa! Which venues?
14:39 Bobby Lee? I mean, if we're gonna do this game.
14:41 Speaker 04 Do you guys play together? Do you guys go on stage together? Does one go out, the other one go out?
14:44 Bobby Lee? No, I do it in two thousand twenty-three, and then he does it three years later at the same place. But at the same time, what are you talking about, dude?
14:50 Speaker 04 No.
14:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we do it together!
14:52 Speaker 04 Do you do it at the same time? Or one person does their set, the other person does their set, and you come on together? Like, a jam band or something?
14:57 Bobby Lee? No, we, no, we just kinda absorb each other, and we become one person. Anyway, my guys, no, we do-
15:01 Speaker 04 Wait, I have a question. Now I wanna ask a question about this.
15:02 Bobby Lee? That was so rude.
15:03 Speaker 04 Who cares? I have a question. I wanna know, when you guys go up though, because your, your podcast is very much in the moment, right?
15:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
15:09 Speaker 04 So, when you're on stage, is everything written, or no?
15:13 Bobby Lee? Well, Ben, you know, we're not as talented as you, so we have-
15:16 Speaker 04 No.
15:17 Bobby Lee? I'm sorry.
15:17 Speaker 04 You guys are both very good off the cuff.
15:19 Bobby Lee? No, we're not from these institutions that you come from.
15:22 Speaker 04 Do you do the same show in every city, or it changes?
15:24 Bobby Lee? We do twenty minutes of stand-up each.
15:26 Speaker 04 That's, that's what I just asked! That's what I, you acted like I was crazy!
15:30 Bobby Lee? I know, but it's like your tone!
15:31 Speaker 04 You're like, what are you, in state?
15:32 Bobby Lee? I didn't like your tone!
15:33 Speaker 04 Okay, alright. Twenty minutes each.
15:35 Bobby Lee? My bad, my bad.
15:35 Speaker 04 Do you switch off who opens?
15:37 Bobby Lee? Well, some say, yeah, we get mad about each other, that.
15:39 Speaker 04 Of course.
15:40 Bobby Lee? We kinda fight about it in the back.
15:41 Speaker 04 Of course.
15:42 Bobby Lee? I mean, sometimes he goes, you know what? The next four shows, you're closing.
15:45 Speaker 04 Okay.
15:46 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean? But then you have to-
15:47 Speaker 04 What would you prefer?
15:49 Bobby Lee? I prefer going before him.
15:50 Speaker 04 You prefer going first?
15:51 Bobby Lee? Cause we're both good stand-ups, so it's like, it's hard, like, you know, when he goes up, you could just hear, Andrew Santino, and then the, you know what I mean? The wall, you know what I mean?
16:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
16:01 Bobby Lee? And I, I'm sitting there back there, it's like, you got it, you got it, you got it, you know what I mean? And then you go up there, and then the first joke isn't as raucous as any of his stuff.
16:11 Speaker 04 Okay.
16:12 Bobby Lee? So then you're like, oh nooo, my ego!
16:15 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:16 Bobby Lee? It's hard, he's a great stand-up.
16:17 Speaker 04 So, you said you were too?
16:19 Bobby Lee? I, I am.
16:23 Speaker 04 This is what happens on our show.
16:24 Bobby Lee? I had a burger on my lip, sorry.
16:25 Speaker 04 We start the show by, I ask the audience about what the most exciting day or night of their life is, and then I interview an audience member. So it's basically a crowd work off the beginning for 15 minutes.
16:34 Bobby Lee? Mmm.
16:34 Speaker 04 We take that information and we make up a whole play or a whole show.
16:37 Bobby Lee? Wow.
16:38 Speaker 04 And that's what the show is.
16:39 Bobby Lee? Wow. And Katie, and Katie does it sometimes.
16:42 Speaker 04 Dipple does it. Katie Dipple to work on Mad TV.
16:44 Bobby Lee? Well, I know all these guys.
16:45 Speaker 04 That's Eugene Cordero, Filipino. Eugene Cordero.
16:48 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I know him.
16:49 Speaker 04 Drew Tarver.
16:50 Bobby Lee? Drew, he's great.
16:50 Speaker 04 And Mary Holland.
16:52 Bobby Lee? How do I know Drew? I know Drew. He's from UCB here.
16:55 Speaker 04 Yes.
16:55 Bobby Lee? I think I met him through Betsy Sadara.
16:57 Speaker 04 Yes, he's close friends with Betsy, and he is in that show Running Point right now on Netflix, and he was in a great show called, um...
17:03 Bobby Lee? It's not about him.
17:04 Speaker 04 Say it again?
17:05 Bobby Lee? It's not about him.
17:05 Speaker 04 Oh, right, it's about him.
17:08 Speaker 04 I'm bad at talking about myself.
17:09 Bobby Lee? Wasn't he on that MTV show? Not MTV show, it was like a show about him being a celebrity or something?
17:13 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was an HBO Max show. I can't believe, I literally, when I bring him out, the, uh, not The Last of Us, my god. Although, the other two, the other two.
17:19 Bobby Lee? The other two, yeah. He was good on that.
17:20 Speaker 04 It's great. But that was like The Beacon, so that's...
17:22 Bobby Lee? And then what's her name? Again, I know her.
17:24 Speaker 04 Mary Holland.
17:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah, she's great, too.
17:25 Speaker 04 Unbelievable improviser.
17:26 Bobby Lee? Yeah, um...
17:26 Speaker 04 They're all the, everybody I bring is, I think, some of the best improvisers in the universe.
17:29 Bobby Lee? Well, can I tell you what Katie Dipple did to me?
17:31 Speaker 04 I can't wait. I love, should we get her on the podcast? Should we call her up?
17:35 Bobby Lee? If you came over here, if she came over here.
17:37 Speaker 04 We can call her up, no?
17:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we can call her, but let me know what she did first. I've talked about this on this podcast years ago.
17:44 Speaker 04 You're saying she did this to you?
17:46 Bobby Lee? She fucked me.
17:47 Speaker 04 Okay.
17:47 Bobby Lee? So she was a writer at Mad TV.
17:49 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
17:50 Bobby Lee? Okay.
17:50 Speaker 04 Oh. This is the story? This is her?
17:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, this is the...
17:53 Speaker 04 I already know. Do you know this story? No, I don't know. They don't.
17:55 Bobby Lee? All right, so check this out.
17:56 Speaker 04 The young...
17:56 Bobby Lee? So back then, we, you know, you know, when you do a table read, now they email you the table read, right?
18:01 Speaker 04 Email you the script.
18:02 Bobby Lee? The script, I mean.
18:03 Speaker 04 Yep. I'm just trying to help you.
18:09 Speaker 04 Just trying to make it work.
18:09 Bobby Lee? All right.
18:10 Speaker 04 I'm just here to make it work.
18:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Thank you, Ben. So they email you the script, and, um, but back in the day, they would have a guy deliver the script.
18:19 Speaker 04 Yeah.
18:19 Bobby Lee? On a Monday night. And this poor guy would have to go to fucking, what, 40 houses?
18:24 Speaker 04 Oh.
18:24 Bobby Lee? It's terrible, right? And so you would get it, and so this is the last table read for Mad TV, and I'd been on...
18:31 Speaker 04 The last ever one?
18:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
18:32 Speaker 04 Oh, wow.
18:33 Bobby Lee? And I'd been on the show for eight years, the final table read. And so what you do is you rifle through, because it's not like a sitcom, you're not in every sketch. And sometimes you're only in like four. Out of 20 sketches you're gonna-
18:48 Speaker 04 Are you writing some of the sketches too, or performers didn't really write them?
18:51 Bobby Lee? No, I just, at that point, I was just like, "Oh, they're not gonna write for me anyway," so I just might as well just accept what they give me, you know what I mean?
18:56 Speaker 04 Okay.
18:56 Bobby Lee? They usually gave me a showcase, one showcase one, where I started it.
19:00 Speaker 04 Okay, great.
19:00 Bobby Lee? Anyway, um, but there was one sketch, I don't, it was called Cottage Life or something, it was with, um, either Christoph Flannick and Arden Marine, you know Arden?
19:09 Speaker 04 No, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do, very funny.
19:11 Bobby Lee? And so, I'm never in the sketch. For the last four years, they've been doing this sketch, never been in it, but I found my, my character in it, right? And I'm like, "Oh, interesting." But my character in the sketch didn't make any sense.
19:25 Speaker 04 Oh, Katie told me this story! Keep going, this amazing story, go, go, this amazing story, go, go.
19:32 Bobby Lee? I told you!
19:34 Speaker 04 No, no, Katie told me, go, go.
19:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah, right.
19:36 Speaker 04 If people don't know, this is a great story.
19:38 Bobby Lee? It's a great story, right? So it's like-
19:39 Speaker 04 This is a great story!
19:41 Bobby Lee? I know. So, um, so-
19:50 Bobby Lee? Helix for your back. Helix for your back. You guys, Helix is fantasy stuff.
20:00 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
20:00 Bobby Lee? It's where dreams make, come from.
20:02 Speaker 04 Uh huh.
20:02 Bobby Lee? And I love sleeping on dreams, dude. You know what? I have Helix mattresses all over my house.
20:07 Speaker 04 Whoa.
20:07 Bobby Lee? And, um, you know, when a guest come over, they go, "Hey dude, I slept like the best night of my life." And I go, "What do you mean?" And they go, "I have, is that the Helix?" I go, "Yeah, that's right." And then they get it themselves, and it goes on and on and on, you know?
20:20 Speaker 04 Oh, you're an ambassador.
20:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah. The reason why I partner with Helix, um, Jaime-
20:24 Speaker 04 What?
20:24 Bobby Lee? Um, is because it's great aid the best.
20:27 Speaker 04 Yeah.
20:27 Bobby Lee? Helix mattresses. You can take a quiz, Jaime, and it matches you with your perfect mattress. What do you sleep on, Jaime?
20:32 Speaker 01 A floor mat.
20:33 Bobby Lee? You do?
20:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:33 Bobby Lee? Well, you know who also sleeps on floor mats?
20:35 Speaker 01 Who?
20:36 Bobby Lee? People that don't sleep on Helixes.
20:37 Speaker 01 Ooh.
20:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and, and I'm gonna say that, I'll, I'll bet your money, dude, that people on Helix mattresses sleep 10 times better than floor mats.
20:44 Speaker 01 Well, I have sleep amniotic-
20:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, and I think it will help you, dude.
20:47 Speaker 01 Yeah?
20:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you just take a quiz, and it'll help you.
20:49 Speaker 01 Okay.
20:49 Bobby Lee? Okay?
20:50 Speaker 01 I'll take it.
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23:01 Bobby Lee? In the sketch, he, this character is just interrupting these people. And there are, the lines don't make any sense, like, "I gotta go to the bathroom," or like, you know what I mean? But toward the end of the sketch, it gets crazier, like, "I'm gonna kill everybody in this room."
23:16 Bobby Lee? "I'm a bird," you know what I mean? "Quack, quack, quack, quack," right? And it does not, it's in between lines, right? And at the end, "I'm losing my mind, fuck this place, you know, everyone dies," stuff like that, right? And so, we show up at the table read now, everyone in-
23:31 Speaker 04 In person, everybody-
23:32 Bobby Lee? Everyone in person, the network of Fox, the network, right? The producers of the show, all the writers, all the actors, no one knows, they don't have a copy of what I'm saying.
23:45 Speaker 04 And you are the longest-running cast member?
23:47 Bobby Lee? No, I mean, Mike McDonald was.
23:48 Speaker 04 But you were up there, top five.
23:51 Bobby Lee? And so, um, so no one knows that I'm in the sketch, right? So when they're hearing it, so now, when you go to the table read, it's probably ten people from Fox, a bunch of producers, so you, you have a hundred people in the room. Okay, with staff and everybody, right? And I'm reading it, and every time I say my line, you can see, hear chairs squeak or back up.
24:16 Bobby Lee? Like, you know what I mean, like, "Ah, fuck this place, man, fuck this," you know what I mean? And people just, or, you know, leaning back. And as it goes on, like, "I'm gonna shoot everybody," you know what I mean, "I'm gonna go out of my mind," I would look up to everybody, and people were like sweating.
24:31 Speaker 04 Cast members too, right?
24:31 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah, people are like emailing, you know what I mean, emailing, like, "What the fuck is going on?" Somebody's leaving the room to get security, I, I don't know. And at the end, I'm going, "Quack, quack!"
24:43 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean, and doing bird noises. Right, right? And people think I'm losing my mind. And the only one laughing is Katie.
24:54 Bobby Lee? Katie's buckled over, laughing, because no, no one knows, except for her.
25:00 Speaker 04 Wait, you gotta explain. She, only in your script is your lines like that. He was not in the sketch at all. You didn't explain that part.
25:08 Bobby Lee? Oh, I didn't, yeah, yeah.
25:09 Speaker 04 No one has a different script.
25:10 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:10 Speaker 04 So, basically, everybody has the same script except for Bobby.
25:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
25:14 Speaker 04 And Bobby, it just looks like Bobby is ruining every moment of the sketch.
25:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
25:18 Speaker 04 And the only person that knows that you have that script is Katie.
25:21 Bobby Lee? The writer, yeah.
25:22 Speaker 04 And you think this is what everybody has.
25:24 Bobby Lee? I think everyone has it, and I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, oh, it's not working.
25:28 Speaker 04 Oh, God.
25:28 Bobby Lee? And I'm ruining this long-lasting sketch, you know what I mean? And I read it wrong. I should have asked before.
25:34 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
25:34 Bobby Lee? Like, hey, I should have went to Katie and go, so I don't know, it doesn't make any sense. Why would I even be there? There's no description.
25:41 Speaker 04 Why don't I want to kill people?
25:42 Bobby Lee? What?
25:42 Speaker 04 Why don't I want to?
25:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no description of why I'm there, and like, idiot, I didn't like, ask her.
25:48 Speaker 04 So, the whole place, even the cast members, like, this fucking asshole.
25:51 Bobby Lee? He's gonna kill everyone in the room.
25:52 Speaker 04 Quacking like a dog, like a duck.
25:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah, exactly.
25:54 Speaker 04 Oh, great bet.
25:55 Bobby Lee? Call her.
25:55 Speaker 04 Great bet.
25:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
25:57 Speaker 04 Let's see if we can get her on the phone.
25:58 Bobby Lee? Oh, my God, it'd be great if she...
25:59 Speaker 04 Although, she's really busy. She's...
26:01 Bobby Lee? So, Katie ended up, um, she's a great writer, and she wrote, um, Ghostbusters, the, the female version.
26:08 Speaker 04 Yep.
26:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
26:09 Speaker 04 She writes, uh, she's incredible. She wrote the heat. She wrote the heat. She's incredible.
26:13 Bobby Lee? Oh, the heat, yeah, that's right, with Adam Ray's in it, Mike McDonald's in it. And then Sandra Bullock, obviously.
26:20 Speaker 04 And Minnesota McCray.
26:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. I love her.
26:22 Speaker 04 Wait, what, what happened after that? Did she tell the entire?
26:25 Bobby Lee? So, then what happened was, there's dead silence when the sketch is over.
26:29 Speaker 04 I'll text her.
26:29 Bobby Lee? Maybe a three-second dead silence.
26:32 Speaker 04 You can't see my screen, right, with all the cameras?
26:33 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, there's no one, no one.
26:35 Speaker 04 Who cares?
26:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, uh, if you did, we would blur it out, or, yeah, um, but, um... And then Katie stands up, and she explains to the room what it is. And then everyone starts laughing, but I'm sitting there with tears in my eyes, shaking, I'm shaking. Right? Like, I'm gonna kill this bitch.
26:55 Speaker 04 I'm gonna shoot this place up.
26:59 Speaker 04 Wait, did she come clean during the thing?
27:00 Bobby Lee? No, after the sketch was done, there was a dead silence. Cause the sketch bombed, right?
27:06 Speaker 04 Of course, you ruined it.
27:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah, a five to seven silence.
27:10 Speaker 04 Okay, here she comes. You wanna finish your story?
27:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, go.
27:14 Speaker 04 Dippled, you're on the podcast, is that okay?
27:16 Speaker 06 Oh my god, I guess so, yes.
27:18 Speaker 04 Okay.
27:19 Bobby Lee? Katie!
27:20 Speaker 04 Oh, can you hear Bobby or no?
27:21 Speaker 06 Hi Bobby!
27:22 Bobby Lee? Hi Katie, so explain to Ben what you did to me at Mad TV with that sketch.
27:28 Speaker 06 Okay.
27:29 Bobby Lee? What was the sketch called?
27:31 Speaker 06 Oh...
27:32 Bobby Lee? Cottage, it was a cottage, it was art.
27:34 Speaker 04 Cottage Life, she knows it, by the way, she knows everything about it.
27:40 Speaker 06 So, there's a lot of nuance, there's a lot of nuance to this story, okay? Now, first of all, someone came on and they wanted to do a prank on Bobby and they wanted to just send like...
27:52 Speaker 04 Do you not know this part?
27:53 Bobby Lee? No.
27:53 Speaker 04 Oh, Bobby doesn't know this part?
27:55 Bobby Lee? I don't know this part.
27:56 Speaker 06 Okay, this was, oh god, someone wanted to do a prank where they just sent Bobby like a fake bad sketch. And that was, and just that.
28:07 Bobby Lee? I fucking hate it!
28:10 Speaker 06 And I just came alive.
28:17 Speaker 06 Every creative muscle I could use towards the show went to this. I said, "Hold on, what if we send Bobby a sketch that's like an existing sketch everyone has, only his is different?"
28:34 Speaker 06 And so, okay, you have to, this was really scary for me because I was so excited about this. But then, for the first time ever, I love Bobby, Bobby you know I love you so much.
28:45 Bobby Lee? I love you so, too much, too much of us.
28:47 Speaker 06 It was so much fun, like the time of my life, he's a scoundrel.
28:51 Speaker 07 But in the best
28:54 Speaker 07 I was always delighted, but for some reason on this one day, he never did this before. But before the table read, he came up to me and he was like,
29:01 Bobby Lee? Oh, I did?
29:02 Speaker 07 Yes.
29:03 Bobby Lee? Oh, I thought I didn't. Okay.
29:05 Speaker 07 And he's like, how am I, how do you think I should read this? And I suddenly felt so guilty.
29:12 Speaker 07 To make this work. And I'm like, oh, God, this is terrible. I shouldn't have done this. And now I'm like shaking. And
29:18 Bobby Lee? Wow.
29:19 Speaker 07 It's also like a table read. It's like the network is there.
29:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
29:22 Speaker 04 Yeah.
29:23 Speaker 07 Everyone.
29:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
29:24 Speaker 04 He said it was the final, was it the final one of the Okay, great.
29:28 Speaker 07 Yes.
29:28 Speaker 04 Great.
29:29 Speaker 07 So at least we were already getting canceled. So you had that.
29:34 Speaker 07 And it's so it's Krista and Arden.
29:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
29:37 Speaker 07 And Keegan.
29:38 Bobby Lee? Keegan Michael Keegan, yeah.
29:40 Speaker 07 And so I specifically changed Bobby's lines. I added Bobby's lines so that it seems like he's commenting on the sketch. If that makes sense.
29:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:51 Speaker 07 So like when Krista's character is in love with Arden and Arden doesn't realize it. I had Bobby say, fool, she's in love with you.
30:00 Speaker 04 Oh, like he's on the outside commenting on it.
30:03 Speaker 07 Yes.
30:04 Bobby Lee? Oh, that's what it was.
30:06 Speaker 07 Yes.
30:06 Bobby Lee? I forgot. It's years ago.
30:07 Speaker 07 Kind of like, okay, all right, sure, Bobby. Yes.
30:15 Speaker 07 And so the first time it happens, to be honest, I didn't know how far it would go. Like the first time it happened, I kind of thought we'd, everyone would figure it out quickly. But it, no one did. No one knew what was happening. Bobby just committed to this part. And I'm like, oh, my God, this is working too well. I, this is, what have I done?
30:34 Bobby Lee? What was it my, Katie, what was my face like?
30:37 Speaker 07 You're, you were like, you had your kind of, you know, when you kind of put your head in your hands and you're reading a sketch sometimes?
30:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
30:44 Speaker 07 I think you seemed, you're going along with it. Like, okay, let's see what happens.
30:48 Speaker 04 He was committing. He was committing.
30:50 Speaker 07 He was committing.
30:51 Speaker 04 Yeah.
30:51 Speaker 07 And so that was killing me.
30:56 Speaker 07 And so the lines are like, uh, they're so, someone, Keegan made a joke. Like there's some moment of Keegan and Bobby goes, Oh, here we go. And so like he's just consistently commenting on the sketch. And then finally it's
31:10 Bobby Lee? At the end, I start losing my mind, no?
31:13 Speaker 07 Yes, and I never thought we'd get that far.
31:18 Bobby Lee? Oh, I see.
31:20 Speaker 07 I was sweating.
31:22 Bobby Lee? Okay, but also Katie, what's the room like? Like, are you looking at the executives or?
31:27 Speaker 07 Yes.
31:27 Bobby Lee? What are they, what are they doing?
31:29 Speaker 07 I, I feel like, cause I also, I didn't really tell, like I mentioned to our head writer, Jim Wise, like a second before, like, hey, just so you know, I did a little prank.
31:38 Bobby Lee? Oh, so Jim knew?
31:39 Speaker 07 It's a crazy thing to do.
31:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
31:41 Speaker 04 On the very last one where everybody's just trying to like get out and be happy.
31:45 Speaker 07 Yes, and so then, um, he has this whole monologue at the end, which it's like, okay, enough, enough of this, you know, it's my time to shine. Like, I have something to say.
31:57 Bobby Lee? Oh, I see, that's what it was.
31:58 Speaker 04 Did you do that?
31:59 Bobby Lee? I think so, yeah.
32:00 Speaker 07 Yeah.
32:00 Bobby Lee? So there was no violence. In my mind, there was some sort of violence or they, they thought I was gonna do something in the room, but maybe that I
32:06 Speaker 07 Oh, I'm sorry, to answer your question, yes, I was looking around the room and it was just, people looked confused.
32:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
32:12 Speaker 07 Stressed out, kind of like snickering to each other, like, what the fuck is Bobby doing?
32:17 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
32:17 Speaker 07 That was the vibe.
32:18 Bobby Lee? Wow, okay.
32:19 Speaker 07 And it delivers this monologue to the level of commitment I've never seen before.
32:24 Bobby Lee? Wow.
32:25 Speaker 07 Just like, and it reaches the very end and everyone is quiet, like laughing, like, what is happening?
32:32 Bobby Lee? Wow.
32:33 Speaker 07 And it's, I finally just, I just muttered out, that was only in your script.
32:37 Bobby Lee? Oh.
32:38 Speaker 04 Did people go crazy?
32:40 Speaker 07 Then they got, went crazy, everyone finally got what was happening.
32:43 Bobby Lee? What was, what was I like?
32:45 Speaker 07 It took you a couple moments to process what I mean.
32:49 Speaker 04 Do you wait, Katie, do you remember what the blackout line was? That like his last one after the end of his monologue, what he ended on?
32:54 Speaker 07 Honestly, he was like cawing.
32:57 Bobby Lee? The bird, the bird, the bird. Yeah, I remember there was a bird part. I was caw, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what it was.
33:04 Speaker 07 And then you, uh, and then I ran over to like hug you, but then you, you was just laid down on the floor.
33:10 Speaker 04 Katie, that's an incredible story.
33:12 Bobby Lee? Thank you Katie, I love you.
33:14 Speaker 04 I appreciate it.
33:14 Bobby Lee? Hey Katie, I also want to see you one day, like get coffee or something, whatever. We'll figure it out. I love you so much, Bobby, I really do. Give Katie Dipple a round of applause.
33:21 Speaker 04 I did, love it. Talk soon. Oh my gosh. I mean, what else, that's the best.
33:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah, well, I mean, no, I mean not, because it's like, it's like, I relived, I just relived it.
33:33 Speaker 04 You must have been mortified.
33:34 Bobby Lee? I was mortified.
33:35 Speaker 04 Mortified.
33:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, it's, and also you don't know what's going on, like when even, when she's trying to explain it, in my mind, I'm like, I don't, like you're not fully grasping what it is.
33:44 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:45 Bobby Lee? Until it finally hits you, and then you're like, I mean, it was, it's a network, regular TV show with real, like, you know, execs and, you know, people with suits, and you know what I mean, the whole fucking thing, you know what I mean?
33:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
33:55 Bobby Lee? And you don't want, you don't want to embarrass yourself, it's also stressful. You like table reads, you like them?
34:01 Speaker 04 Um, I think it's like, when it goes well, they're fucking great.
34:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
34:06 Speaker 04 When it goes well, it's the most exciting thing in the world, or if you find like a bit that works, or like, you know what I mean? And if you can make the writer's words look awesome, then the writer's like so thankful, and you know?
34:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
34:15 Speaker 04 But if it goes poorly, and it's, and like the episode's going a little bit slow, you're like, oh, it feels like it's taking forever.
34:21 Bobby Lee? Sometimes you're drowning almost, I feel like.
34:23 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:24 Bobby Lee? I mean, I've done table reads where I looked at the writer, I went, I'm so sorry.
34:27 Speaker 04 No.
34:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done all kinds of weird things.
34:30 Speaker 04 That's so funny.
34:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, I mean, I've, what, I was on a sitcom called, sorry, Ozempic burps.
34:36 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
34:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
34:38 Speaker 04 Are you on Ozempic?
34:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I am.
34:39 Speaker 04 What does it feel like?
34:40 Bobby Lee? What's, we govy, so I feel, I feel great.
34:43 Speaker 04 Oh, it's a candle. Wait, so how, how much lost, how much weight have you lost?
34:46 Bobby Lee? Probably 20 pounds now.
34:47 Speaker 04 Really?
34:48 Bobby Lee? Oh yeah.
34:48 Speaker 04 Do you feel different?
34:49 Bobby Lee? I feel great, it doesn't get any more women, I did it for women, but it seems to go against, yeah.
34:55 Speaker 04 Is there a certain weight that you're trying to cap at?
34:57 Bobby Lee? I want to dwindle down to Ken Jeong.
35:01 Speaker 04 The person, not the weight.
35:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the person.
35:03 Speaker 04 Okay.
35:04 Bobby Lee? I want, you know, cause he has like a Gollum-esque body.
35:07 Speaker 04 Yeah. He does?
35:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, skinny arms, but a belly, a little bit, yeah, mythological. Yeah, I want to go mythological.
35:13 Speaker 04 Love Ken.
35:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, he's a great guy.
35:15 Speaker 04 Great guy.
35:16 Bobby Lee? Although he tried to punch me once, but.
35:17 Speaker 04 They got in a fist, they got in a fistfight. Really?
35:20 Bobby Lee? Well, he swang, I didn't.
35:22 Speaker 04 God, all this is like weird stories.
35:26 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, I've, no, I've had a tumultuous.
35:28 Speaker 04 Ken Jeong is like the nicest.
35:30 Bobby Lee? I know, that's the problem.
35:31 Speaker 04 Bro, this is MySpace day. What else, who else, you said what? This is MySpace days. What, you got in a fight because of MySpace stuff?
35:38 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. I've been in fights with everybody, I'm going to give you an example, this is, oh, I don't know if I should show this. Um, let me, maybe we can blur it out, or we can cut it out.
35:46 Speaker 04 Can you show me?
35:47 Bobby Lee? I can show you, yeah, so, um, a writer from Mad, right? Goes, this is what you did to me every day. Right? And if I, well, let me, I'd walk into his office like this every day.
35:59 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, you, you'd be done, that's it.
36:02 Bobby Lee? Now, right?
36:02 Speaker 04 It's a rap.
36:03 Bobby Lee? In today's, in today, yeah, I know, I know.
36:06 Speaker 04 Hundred percent.
36:07 Bobby Lee? It's a rap.
36:07 Speaker 04 It's a rap, you're done.
36:08 Bobby Lee? But back in the day, you could do this.
36:10 Speaker 04 Wow.
36:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:11 Speaker 04 Don't show the camera, you're done.
36:13 Bobby Lee? No, I used to walk into people's office naked.
36:16 Speaker 04 Really?
36:16 Bobby Lee? Go, hey, what are you writing for me today?
36:18 Speaker 04 Cock, cock.
36:20 Bobby Lee? I mean, it was like, you know, I think that a lot of the reasons why I don't work as much as I think I should, or whatever, is because of my reputation a little bit, although.
36:29 Speaker 04 You think you're a very different person now than you.
36:30 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, so, you know, in the last three or four years, you know, I did Sex and the City, Reservation Dogs, Borderlands.
36:37 Speaker 04 As a person. He's talking about your character.
36:39 Bobby Lee? No, what I'm saying is, no.
36:42 Speaker 04 Do you care my credits? Yeah, I was like, what are you pitching right now?
36:45 Bobby Lee? No, Ben, Ben.
36:45 Speaker 04 You cover IMDb. My star meter is fucking changed.
36:50 Bobby Lee? No, Ben, that's not what I was.
36:51 Speaker 04 You said you made a lot of mistakes when you were a kid, are you different now? You're like, well, you have a three-episode arc in Sex and the City. What?
36:58 Bobby Lee? No, Ben, Ben, Ben, fuck you for a second.
37:00 Speaker 04 You've done three ads for.
37:01 Bobby Lee? But what I'm saying is that when I'm on sets now, right?
37:05 Speaker 04 Okay.
37:06 Bobby Lee? I'm the complete opposite guy. I show up an hour before.
37:10 Speaker 04 Okay.
37:10 Bobby Lee? I know my lines, I'm dressed, I don't complain, I know everyone's names. I play it completely different. But in the beginning, in 2000 is when I booked Mad.
37:20 Speaker 04 Wow.
37:20 Bobby Lee? I was straight from the open mics at The Comedy Store.
37:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
37:24 Bobby Lee? I was a stand-up, never done sketch. I don't know how TV works. I don't know how anything works. I've never been in front of a camera, right? So I had to learn how to like, what a mark is. I had to learn what a jib camera is. It's gonna be years to learn how to do it.
37:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
37:38 Bobby Lee? And I was very wild, like, you know what I mean? I was crazy.
37:41 Speaker 04 Notoriously so. I feel like a lot of stories that I've heard, I've never met you before, but a lot of the stories that I hear are that. But also, they are always followed up with, he's the funniest fucking dude.
37:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I mean, I learned how to, you know, I'm in, you know, through therapy and dealing with my trauma and all that stuff. What?
37:57 Speaker 01 AA.
37:58 Bobby Lee? AA.
37:59 Speaker 01 AA.
38:00 Bobby Lee? AA, bro. Is that Hispanic? Oh, you're saying AA though?
38:02 Speaker 01 AA.
38:03 Bobby Lee? Oh, I mean AA.
38:04 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay.
38:05 Speaker 01 Alcoholic.
38:07 Speaker 04 I think you got it.
38:09 Bobby Lee? I don't know what AA is. You know what I mean? Yeah, but I think that, you know, anyway, I don't want to talk about me. I don't want to talk about me. But, um, yeah, I was a little wild.
38:15 Speaker 01 Let's talk about Ben. Get to know Ben. Let's get to know Ben. I don't want to get to know Ben.
38:22 Bobby Lee? Okay, let's, dude.
38:24 Speaker 01 I'm fanboying, my bad.
38:25 Bobby Lee? I know, but, hi, man. Can I just say something?
38:28 Speaker 04 I could talk to just hi, man.
38:29 Bobby Lee? I know.
38:30 Speaker 01 Wait, the thing is that.
38:31 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, but let me just finish. I, I, I know, but.
38:34 Speaker 04 Are you gonna explain what AA is?
38:35 Speaker 01 No, no, no.
38:36 Bobby Lee? It's a long, it's a long pod, right?
38:38 Speaker 01 Long form.
38:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's long form pod.
38:40 Speaker 01 Improv.
38:40 Bobby Lee? It's long form pod, all right? And he still hasn't even taught us about long form yet. So we're gonna get there in a second.
38:46 Speaker 04 No.
38:46 Bobby Lee? So do you have some questions? Yes!
38:48 Speaker 04 I've mostly just been listening.
38:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah. So do you, do you have any questions for Ben then, that you're curious about?
38:53 Speaker 04 Bobby, does this mean that you have none prepared?
38:55 Bobby Lee? I never prepare.
38:56 Speaker 04 I mean, but you know nothing.
38:57 Bobby Lee? Well, I know your credits.
38:59 Speaker 04 Give me two.
39:00 Bobby Lee? Parks and Rec.
39:01 Speaker 04 Nope, he already said it. Give me two of them.
39:02 Bobby Lee? Um, um, I think you were in that Renfield.
39:05 Speaker 04 Okay, all right. Okay, there you go. Hi, man, let's go.
39:07 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, fuck you, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:11 Speaker 04 Yeah, I can give you one.
39:11 Bobby Lee? You did a Lego movie, I think, remember?
39:13 Speaker 04 I did do a Lego movie.
39:14 Bobby Lee? Because I was in a Lego movie, I didn't Google it, I don't know.
39:16 Speaker 04 Were we in the same Lego movie?
39:17 Bobby Lee? No, I was in the ninja one.
39:18 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
39:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, the bad one. I was in the one that no one watched.
39:22 Speaker 04 Yeah, I didn't watch. Yeah, I was in that too.
39:24 Bobby Lee? What else have you done? You don't know a lot of animation, I know.
39:26 Speaker 04 Who cares?
39:27 Bobby Lee? I know, but my point is, is that you wanted to ask me if I knew you.
39:30 Speaker 04 Yeah.
39:30 Bobby Lee? And I'm just saying that you were being rude.
39:33 Speaker 04 Go ahead, Hymen. I thought I was gonna catch you in you.
39:35 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, go ahead, Hymen. No, I'm a huge fan, I've been trying to get you on this for years.
39:38 Speaker 04 You're so nice.
39:39 Bobby Lee? I'll go.
39:40 Speaker 01 You forgot one, Duck Tales?
39:41 Speaker 04 No, you don't have to talk about Chris, I'm sorry. But I do wanna talk. Hymen, what do you, tell me what you got.
39:45 Bobby Lee? Duck Tales, really?
39:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:47 Bobby Lee? What did you play in Duck Tales?
39:48 Speaker 04 I played Dewey in Duck Tales.
39:48 Bobby Lee? Go ahead, other questions?
39:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, man.
39:50 Speaker 04 Are you an animation fan?
39:53 Speaker 01 Somewhat, but more live action.
39:55 Speaker 04 Well, live action, okay.
39:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, go, questions, go, come on, Larry King.
39:59 Speaker 01 Well, it's because I never thought I would meet you, that's why.
40:01 Bobby Lee? Okay, go ahead.
40:02 Speaker 04 Wow.
40:02 Bobby Lee? This is your time.
40:03 Speaker 01 So I was watching Parks and Rec, and, um, I was like flipping through the channels, I was like in high school when it came out.
40:10 Speaker 04 Yeah.
40:10 Speaker 01 You know what episode caught me was the, um, uh, I love that episode of when Andy and April get married.
40:16 Speaker 04 Yeah, great episode.
40:18 Speaker 01 You, yeah.
40:18 Speaker 04 I remember it.
40:19 Speaker 01 And I was like, what is this?
40:20 Bobby Lee? Well, he was on the show, so.
40:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, no, I know, but I'm like, because I never watched shows like that, and I was like, what is this show? And I just got hooked on because it was so funny, you and Aziz, and, um, like improv, like.
40:32 Speaker 04 He's getting nervous.
40:34 Speaker 01 I am getting nervous because like, you know, I was like, oh, I'm watching this show, I don't think I'll ever meet this guy. But, yeah, I'm here with you now.
40:43 Speaker 01 No, so like, um.
40:44 Speaker 04 You don't have to be nervous at all, who ca, look at me.
40:47 Speaker 01 It's like, so your scenes were improvised or scripted?
40:50 Speaker 04 Oh, all the scenes are scripted, and then we would do something called Fun Run. You ever have one of these where you do?
40:55 Bobby Lee? Dude, I'm king Fun Run.
40:56 Speaker 04 Hell, yeah. So you do, there's literally.
40:58 Bobby Lee? I invented it.
40:58 Speaker 04 Yeah, there's a, there's literally takes after we have it in the bag where they're like, alright, we got it, do whatever you want. And we would all go nuts, and that's kinda like, that's where I get to really improvise, stuff like that.
41:08 Speaker 01 And most of your scenes, like?
41:09 Speaker 04 There's a bunch of Fun Runs in there. That's a great question, there's a bunch of Fun Runs in there, and also, as we did it more and more, I'd like, you could see my character kinda comes, becomes a cartoon a little bit, because I get more comfortable and stuff like that, and then I just kept going, and they just let me keep going. So if you look at the beginning of Parks and the end of Parks, I'm like a normal person, and I'm a straight up cartoon.
41:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:27 Speaker 04 That's it, yeah.
41:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
41:28 Speaker 01 But I enjoyed it.
41:29 Speaker 04 Thank you, man, I appreciate it.
41:31 Speaker 01 Don't be suspicious, don't.
41:33 Speaker 04 This is great.
41:33 Speaker 01 No, I just remember, and it's just, there's a lot of scenes to remember. This is like Vince Wong, just do Fred Claus for the wedding.
41:43 Speaker 00 Sure, yeah.
41:44 Speaker 01 That's what, that's just how I remember, my bad Bobby.
41:47 Speaker 00 This is great.
41:47 Speaker 01 This guy's good.
41:54 Bobby Lee? Rocket, rocket money. Woo hoo. Rocket money. Yeah. Rocket money. Woo hoo. Rocket money. You guys, um, I don't know about you, but I'm bleeding money. You know how I'm bleeding it?
42:08 Speaker 00 How?
42:08 Bobby Lee? Through my subscriptions.
42:10 Speaker 00 Come on Bobby.
42:10 Bobby Lee? On my apps. I have so many meditation subscriptions, right? Game subscriptions, I don't even play. They charge you monthly fees, right?
42:19 Speaker 00 Yes.
42:19 Bobby Lee? And it's blind. I don't know what's going on. But you know what Rocket Money does?
42:22 Speaker 00 What?
42:23 Bobby Lee? It consolidates all that, right? So you can see whatever that you're bleeding, you can access. You're right, and, and, and, and stop the bleeding. Like if I stabbed you, would you stop the bleeding?
42:32 Speaker 00 Yes.
42:32 Bobby Lee? Exactly. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over five million users and has saved a total of five hundred million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to seven hundred and forty dollars a year when using all of the app's premium features.
42:55 Speaker 00 Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com/belly today. That's rocketmoney.com/belly. Rocketmoney.com/belly.
43:14 Bobby Lee? Hims, here for your life. Here for Hims. Hims provides you with all the convenient access to a range of hair loss treatments that work all from the comfort of your couch.
43:27 Speaker 00 Wow, wow.
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43:38 Speaker 00 Mm-hmm.
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44:16 Speaker 01 Hims here for your life.
44:26 Speaker 04 This is great.
44:27 Speaker 01 This guy's good.
44:29 Speaker 01 And I like, I'll watch it and I like, I want to.
44:30 Speaker 04 The podcast? Cause it was going so well. You and I were vibing. Now everybody doesn't like each other.
44:35 Bobby Lee? It's, it's the piss break. Go ahead.
44:38 Speaker 04 What's the piss prank?
44:39 Bobby Lee? The piss break.
44:40 Speaker 04 Break. Oh, this is the piss prank.
44:41 Bobby Lee? Like when it, sometimes when.
44:42 Speaker 04 People gotta take a piss.
44:43 Bobby Lee? When you're doing a stand up like with 20 people and there's always one comic, people just walk out to go to the bathroom.
44:48 Speaker 04 Oh my god.
44:49 Speaker 01 I'm the comic?
44:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
44:50 Speaker 04 Is that a phrase that you're like, oh, that comic's a piss break? Oh my god, that's brutal.
44:55 Bobby Lee? Oh, the other night I was on stage.
44:56 Speaker 04 20 comics? Is there ever a lineup with 20 people go on? Is that a real number?
45:00 Bobby Lee? There's probably 12. I exaggerated, maybe 12 to 15.
45:04 Speaker 04 So four, three hours?
45:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
45:05 Speaker 04 Wow.
45:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah, the comedy store goes from like eight to two in the morning.
45:09 Speaker 04 Wow, man.
45:09 Bobby Lee? It's a constant show, but sometimes it's a piss break and I feel bad for the guy. I've been to piss break many times.
45:15 Speaker 04 Really?
45:15 Bobby Lee? Oh dude, one time I followed Sebastian Manoskalko. This is when he first found his voice. Cause he was a bad comic in the beginning.
45:22 Speaker 04 Okay.
45:22 Bobby Lee? And then once he found his voice, I remember in being in the OR and I followed him and I was so cocky. I'm like, I'm gonna follow, you're right.
45:29 Speaker 04 Wait, what's the OR?
45:30 Bobby Lee? Original room at the comedy store. And then I remember people just getting up and then other people going, bring back Sebastian. And I remember, oh, he's improved. I took him lightly.
45:42 Speaker 04 Wow.
45:43 Bobby Lee? Anyway, any other questions?
45:45 Speaker 01 Uh, what advice would you give?
45:47 Bobby Lee? Oh my god.
45:49 Speaker 01 What?
45:50 Bobby Lee? Oh my god.
45:52 Speaker 01 Cause I kinda wanna try improv, I like.
45:54 Speaker 04 Oh yeah, if you want it for improv?
45:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:56 Speaker 04 Yeah, I take, take classes and go do it. I think get on stage. The only way, same, you're gonna say the same thing for standup, I assume. The only way to get better at that stuff is to do it and fail. Like, I failed so much. I feel like you go up there, you take a risk, you fail, you learn from that mistake, and then you get up again. You keep trying to get up, and taking classes is the way you kinda learn the form, and then you kinda go and go and go. But that's, I mean, that's probably same as standup. It's like you just gotta fail so much. And just want it, you gotta love it so much.
46:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
46:22 Speaker 04 That you're okay with it being hard for a while.
46:25 Bobby Lee? Here's what I say to young people that are starting. I go, um, don't live in the results. Which means, don't be doing standup because I'm gonna get this, this, and this, and that. You gotta do it for the love of the thing.
46:38 Speaker 04 That's a great line.
46:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. So just do it, not expect anything, and do it because of the craft, okay? And secondly, um, it is a, um, I can't believe we're getting into this fucking.
46:48 Speaker 04 You're doing really well.
46:49 Bobby Lee? But what I'm saying is.
46:50 Speaker 04 I feel like I've never seen you do this before. This is amazing.
46:51 Bobby Lee? So Ramsey, you know, the guy that, you know, he was on the pod.
46:54 Speaker 04 Gordon Ramsey.
46:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
46:57 Speaker 04 Gordon Ramsey.
46:58 Bobby Lee? Um, so Ramsey, who opens for me, he did Long Beach with me and Andrew, and it was, we talked about when he was on it, and it was like twenty-three thousand people, I don't know. And his last joke, the mic fell off.
47:11 Speaker 04 The bottom, so nobody heard what he's saying?
47:13 Bobby Lee? So he struggled to put the thing back into the mic thing, and he kinda bombed at the end. Cause it let it affect him. But I told him afterwards, I go, dude, you gotta come with a bit, right? When that happens, cause you know it's gonna happen. We all have bits when that happens.
47:29 Speaker 04 Is that true?
47:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
47:30 Speaker 04 What's yours? Can we hear it?
47:32 Bobby Lee? Don't worry about it, my people made this shit. I don't, whatever, you know what I mean, whatever it might be, you know what I mean? But they're, uh, or I'll do.
47:38 Speaker 04 I'll get back to it.
47:38 Bobby Lee? Or I'll do a cappella jokes. I don't need a mic.
47:41 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:42 Bobby Lee? And I'll go into the audience, do my, whatever it might be.
47:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
47:44 Bobby Lee? But it's like, um, there are ways around. So improv is the same way. I mean, you trial and error, you know? And so, um. Long form. Can we go back to long form real quick? Cause I wanna know. So you do one premise and then um you just.
48:00 Speaker 04 A series of scenes. So we talked to somebody. Well, so like there one, I just posted one on Instagram, which is we talked to someone and they're like, I sn- I I say, what's the most exciting night or day of your life? And they said, we snuck into a John Legend concert. And I was like, amazing, tell me how you did it. And we found out and the whole show was kinda like a play. Where we'll do a bunch of different scenes in a row and they all call back to each other. And in the end, if we do it right, it feels like one complete piece.
48:21 Bobby Lee? Wow, that's incredible.
48:22 Speaker 04 Yeah.
48:22 Bobby Lee? When it's done right, yeah.
48:23 Speaker 04 When it's done perfect, it's like ma- it feels like a magic trick. It feels like, how the hell did they do that? How do they call that? But it feels like everything was exactly where it should be for the whole show.
48:31 Bobby Lee? Wow.
48:32 Speaker 04 When it felt random at the beginning and then we tie it all together.
48:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah, even you saying it made me super nervous.
48:38 Speaker 04 You gotta come see a show.
48:39 Bobby Lee? I've seen, I already told you, I've seen fucking long.
48:42 Speaker 04 How long ago?
48:42 Bobby Lee? And I get, uh, 20 years ago.
48:44 Speaker 04 Yeah, come, come to a show.
48:45 Bobby Lee? I used to go to Improv Olympic and see all those guys do.
48:47 Speaker 04 Oh, they're.
48:47 Bobby Lee? Like, like, you know, like, you know, Jordan and Keegan. I used to hang out with those guys every night.
48:52 Speaker 04 Yeah.
48:53 Bobby Lee? And I used to go and watch them do it and it's like, um, wow, they've, what a career they've had.
48:58 Speaker 04 Wait, Ben, have you done stand up? I tried stand up at the very beginning. So at the very beginning, I tried stand up and improv and sketch at the same time to see which one I wanted to do. So I went up at Boston Comedy Club in New York a couple times.
49:09 Bobby Lee? Good room, yeah.
49:10 Speaker 04 I think it's probably gone by now, but then Stand Up New York I went up at. But it did bringer shows and then I did well enough in a bringer show that they let me come up, not get paid, but come up without bringing people. And I was like, oh, my god.
49:22 Bobby Lee? That's good.
49:22 Speaker 04 So I went up and I, I bombed and it was the worst feeling in the world. I mean, I bombed in improv before starting up and it's different because I'm with my friends and we're bombing together and we could talk about it afterwards, how bad that felt and what we could do better.
49:36 Bobby Lee? Hmm.
49:36 Speaker 04 But I was like, these are the things that I find funny. I'm gonna say them and see what happens. And this time, nobody I know is in the audience because it wasn't a bringer show.
49:43 Bobby Lee? Right.
49:43 Speaker 04 And so it was just like, I was excited that I got there quick, but then I was like, and then I learned that I just love creating with people. I love being in a scene with someone and we create something out of nothing. I love not knowing what's gonna happen and then we create a whole fucking show. So that stuff was exciting to me.
50:00 Bobby Lee? But Ben.
50:00 Speaker 04 I think stand up is harder.
50:02 Bobby Lee? It's not.
50:03 Speaker 04 I think.
50:03 Bobby Lee? I think it's easier.
50:04 Speaker 04 I think because you have to write, you have to rewrite a thousand times. It's a different muscle.
50:09 Bobby Lee? It's a different muscle, but it's also going into a thing where you, you don't know at all what the fucking topic's gonna be or anything. It seems very scary to me.
50:16 Speaker 04 Yeah.
50:17 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean? It's like, you know, right?
50:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
50:20 Speaker 01 No, I just had a thought in my head.
50:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah, what was the thought?
50:22 Speaker 04 What scene were you thinking about?
50:23 Bobby Lee? What were you thinking?
50:25 Speaker 04 What TV show?
50:26 Bobby Lee? What the fuck were you thinking, dude? That's insane.
50:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, I was referencing another scene from him.
50:31 Speaker 04 I knew it!
50:32 Bobby Lee? What are you doing?
50:33 Speaker 04 He's in love with him, dude.
50:35 Bobby Lee? Are you uncomfortable?
50:36 Speaker 04 No, I'm fine.
50:37 Bobby Lee? It's so weird!
50:38 Speaker 04 I was trying to do a bit like you didn't know anything. Now I felt bad from there and I didn't know what the fuck was going on. I thought you really took offense. I was like, oh no, I don't know well enough. Did that really make you unhappy? That's what I'm thinking.
50:48 Bobby Lee? Yeah, no, no, no, that was...
50:49 Speaker 04 You're fine.
50:50 Bobby Lee? I'm P?
50:51 Speaker 04 We're great.
50:51 Bobby Lee? You and I are great.
50:52 Speaker 04 Great, okay. So it's timing.
50:53 Bobby Lee? I feel like a connection.
50:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
50:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
50:55 Speaker 04 We can do this.
50:56 Speaker 01 Are we great?
50:58 Bobby Lee? It's getting weird now, I think.
50:59 Speaker 04 No, we are great.
51:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:00 Speaker 04 I would love to answer it.
51:01 Bobby Lee? Also, he opened for me in Houston. And so I had some ladies come in the back.
51:05 Speaker 04 Who did?
51:06 Bobby Lee? Jaime did.
51:07 Speaker 04 You did?
51:07 Bobby Lee? I was just there this weekend.
51:09 Speaker 04 How'd you do? How'd he do?
51:10 Bobby Lee? He did great.
51:11 Speaker 04 Oh, come on, man.
51:12 Bobby Lee? And one day he went, between shows he goes, "Can I go longer?"
51:16 Speaker 04 Oh, that doesn't sound like him. What did he sound like?
51:19 Speaker 01 I was like, I was like...
51:20 Speaker 04 Can I go 12 minutes?
51:22 Speaker 01 I was like, can I go 12 minutes?
51:24 Speaker 04 It's a little different. I think, I think. But wait, do it again. Maybe do, say the same sentence, it'll be easier.
51:29 Bobby Lee? I mean, no, no, hold on. I think you're being rude.
51:32 Speaker 04 Okay, I might be, I might be. I just want to hear your impression of him. I just want to hear your impression. Before you, I just want to hear your impression.
51:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead.
51:38 Speaker 04 Say one sentence.
51:39 Speaker 01 Hey Bobby, can I do 12 minutes?
51:40 Speaker 04 Okay, great, now you.
51:42 Bobby Lee? Hey Bobby, can I do 12 minutes?
51:43 Speaker 04 How do you...
51:44 Speaker 01 Does it sound insane?
51:45 Speaker 04 It's, he's getting closer.
51:46 Bobby Lee? I, I, I think what you're doing is you're being a little racial, because I think you're looking at my little Asian face. I think that's what you're doing. I think I was...
51:53 Speaker 04 I'm not looking at your LAF. I'm not looking at your LAF. I'm not looking at your LAF.
51:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing exactly the way he's doing it, but you're looking at my Asian eyes.
52:00 Speaker 04 I'm not looking at your AEs.
52:05 Speaker 04 It just seems like you were really pushing his act.
52:07 Bobby Lee? Can I be honest with you? Since you've been here, you've been looking at my AEs?
52:10 Speaker 04 I'm not looking at your AEs. I'm not looking at your LI.
52:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
52:13 Speaker 04 Okay, but you crushed, you had a great set.
52:15 Bobby Lee? He did very good, but he's not good socially. He won't shut the fuck up.
52:20 Speaker 04 You mean afterwards?
52:21 Bobby Lee? So I had these four girls come backstage.
52:23 Speaker 04 Okay.
52:24 Bobby Lee? Right, and I wanted to get them out. But this guy becomes Larry King again.
52:28 Speaker 04 Wingman.
52:28 Bobby Lee? And I'm like, shut the fuck up. And you're like, so, you like your jobs?
52:31 Speaker 04 Yeah, different accent, yeah.
52:33 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know what, man? You fucking do it!
52:35 Speaker 04 Sure, go. Just say any sentence.
52:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it was his sentence.
52:38 Speaker 04 Say any sentence.
52:39 Speaker 01 So, what line of work do you guys do?
52:41 Speaker 04 So what line of work do you guys do? Actually, that's pretty good. Right?
52:46 Bobby Lee? Oh.
52:47 Speaker 04 That's what you sound like. Do you want to hear it? No, you do it. Do that line.
52:49 Bobby Lee? You say it again.
52:50 Speaker 04 No, yeah.
52:51 Bobby Lee? You say it again.
52:51 Speaker 04 Okay, great.
52:51 Speaker 01 What line of?
52:52 Speaker 04 And really, and really try to, really try to
52:55 Bobby Lee? Oh, this is the
52:55 Speaker 04 Hear how he speaks.
52:56 Bobby Lee? This is the last time we do this, Ben.
52:57 Speaker 04 Okay.
52:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
52:59 Speaker 04 Go ahead.
53:00 Speaker 01 What line of work are you guys in?
53:02 Bobby Lee? What line of work are you guys in?
53:03 Speaker 04 That's great. That's great. You've become a perfect impersonation. Now do, um, do Morgan Freeman in Shawshank.
53:10 Bobby Lee? You do it first and I'll do it.
53:11 Speaker 04 No, no.
53:14 Bobby Lee? Andy Frame.
53:15 Speaker 04 Oh.
53:18 Speaker 04 Actually, pretty good.
53:18 Bobby Lee? What's his last name?
53:19 Speaker 04 Andy Dufresne.
53:19 Bobby Lee? Oh, I said Frame.
53:20 Speaker 04 Yeah. Andy Dufresne. Has Morgan Freeman been on the?
53:24 Bobby Lee? No, he'll never, no, we don't get, you know, me and that. Who's the biggest, who's the biggest thing we've had?
53:29 Speaker 04 That as in celebrity?
53:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, no, wait, wait. Who's the biggest thing we've had?
53:32 Speaker 04 God, it would be so funny if Morgan Freeman was here and was like, "Yeah, so, um, Driving Miss Daisy, there's a couple scenes."
53:38 Bobby Lee? Oh, my God.
53:39 Speaker 04 "I want to talk to you about a couple scenes in Driving Miss Daisy."
53:41 Bobby Lee? There's no way.
53:42 Speaker 04 What?
53:42 Bobby Lee? I couldn't have you and Morgan on the same.
53:45 Speaker 04 First name basis.
53:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, there's no way.
53:46 Speaker 04 You and Morgan?
53:46 Bobby Lee? Um, yeah, I think the biggest one is, ah, we've had pretty big people.
53:51 Speaker 04 I'm sure you've had a billion big people.
53:52 Speaker 01 You're pretty big, though.
53:53 Speaker 04 Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm small potatoes. I'm small potatoes.
53:57 Bobby Lee? But you're one of those guys, though, that are like, everyone knows you.
53:59 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
54:00 Bobby Lee? I think Lisa Gilroy talked about you once. I mean, just people talk.
54:03 Speaker 04 She's very funny.
54:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah, people talk about you all the time.
54:05 Speaker 04 She's crush on this pocket. She probably crush.
54:07 Bobby Lee? She's done it.
54:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
54:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, she's done it.
54:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I feel like, you know, I was talking to Jenna Fisher. I had dinner with Jenna and Angela from The Office, ladies.
54:14 Speaker 04 Yeah.
54:14 Bobby Lee? Last week. And, you know, it
54:16 Speaker 04 Oh, you would have so many questions for them.
54:17 Bobby Lee? No, there was no way that's ever gonna happen.
54:19 Speaker 04 Yeah, come on.
54:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah. But, um, you know, we treat it like we're on a show, TV show.
54:24 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
54:24 Bobby Lee? That's what it feels like.
54:25 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
54:26 Bobby Lee? You know, um, it's, and the numbers are as good as a lot of TV shows, even more. So it's like, um,
54:33 Speaker 04 It's so exciting. And you have influence now, Bobby. You can do it.
54:36 Bobby Lee? You have a pod?
54:37 Speaker 04 No, I haven't done a podcast yet. I've guessed it in many of them.
54:39 Bobby Lee? Why?
54:40 Speaker 04 Uh, it's a lot of work, isn't it?
54:42 Bobby Lee? Not really.
54:42 Speaker 04 It seems like a ton of work. Fifty-two episodes a year? That seems like so much fifty-two hours.
54:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but like, if we first started-
54:48 Speaker 05 Not for the talent. You can just show up for one hour a week, you're good.
54:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you get people to do it.
54:52 Speaker 04 One hour a week is still fifty-two hours.
54:54 Bobby Lee? I know, but I wake up, walk downstairs, they're all set up, everything's going.
54:58 Speaker 04 It's in your house.
54:58 Bobby Lee? Right. And then I do it, and I go back upstairs, and that's it.
55:02 Speaker 04 It's pretty ma- your setup is pretty incredible.
55:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I mean, it was always like that, no?
55:05 Speaker 04 Yeah.
55:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, in the beginning. We've been doing this for what, ten years?
55:07 Speaker 04 Ten years.
55:08 Speaker 05 Wow.
55:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
55:09 Speaker 04 That's amazing.
55:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah. So, um, you could do it, but if you don't want to, don't. There's a lot of people in the game, too.
55:14 Speaker 04 There's a lot of people now.
55:15 Bobby Lee? Right?
55:15 Speaker 04 A lot of people.
55:16 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
55:16 Speaker 04 Uh, so because I do Ben Schwartz and Friends, I have control of that. I get to figure out where I'm gonna tour, I get to pick who I wanna perform, and then I'm like, I feel like a lot of stuff in our industry, we don't have control of. Like, I don't get to control what auditions come in.
55:28 Bobby Lee? Hmm.
55:29 Speaker 04 I can write movies and I can, you know, sell them, but I don't get control if they get made. And this is, I control my tour, and then I control what I do with the audio. What you're doing is you have complete control of your career now. You can make your money through that. You can do ads through that. It's your- I feel like more and more people are learning that we can kind of-
55:46 Bobby Lee? But Ben-
55:46 Speaker 04 -take control-
55:47 Bobby Lee? I get what you're saying.
55:48 Speaker 04 -of our careers a little bit more.
55:49 Bobby Lee? Bingo. Right on.
55:50 Speaker 04 That's what I'm trying to say. Instead of just being up to everybody else.
55:53 Bobby Lee? What I'm saying is, this is back to what I was gonna say. You're right. Is, is that I feel like I was, and Andrew and I felt like this, we were forced into doing it.
56:02 Speaker 04 Oh, interesting.
56:03 Bobby Lee? Like, where it's like, you know, like, where you get probably- how many auditions a year do you get?
56:09 Speaker 04 Auditions are so weird now. Let's say before-
56:10 Bobby Lee? Before, uh, before the pandemic.
56:12 Speaker 04 Quite a bit, yeah.
56:12 Bobby Lee? How many a year, you think?
56:14 Speaker 04 Um, I don't even know. Offers and auditions, I don't know. They kinda like-
56:18 Bobby Lee? Hundred?
56:19 Speaker 04 No, less than that.
56:20 Bobby Lee? Sixty?
56:21 Speaker 04 Sure. In a year, let's say sixty.
56:23 Bobby Lee? I would get three.
56:24 Speaker 04 Okay, let's say I get five.
56:28 Speaker 04 Do you know what I mean?
56:30 Bobby Lee? I think five.
56:32 Speaker 04 Five.
56:33 Bobby Lee? So I would get three to four, right?
56:35 Speaker 04 Five.
56:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah, no, no, no. And so, and everyone else was getting, you know, because I have a lot of friends.
56:40 Speaker 04 It's very different now. There's very few additions.
56:42 Bobby Lee? I get zero now. I get zero now. You know what I mean?
56:44 Speaker 04 Yeah, the industry is very injured.
56:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I get one or two now, right? So my point though being is, is that me and Andrew are in the same boat. So we're like, what do we do? Cause we just do stand up.
56:53 Speaker 04 Yes.
56:54 Bobby Lee? So we were forced into the space. Sometimes now people are like high level actors and stuff like that, that are already working their, you know, I mean, in every fucking thing. They do it too. So that kind of makes me, it's like, we were like forced into the situation, man.
57:07 Speaker 04 Well, you took control of your career. I think that's what it is.
57:10 Bobby Lee? Out of desperation. You don't think that I want to be like Ken Jeong flying first class?
57:14 Speaker 04 I think, I think it's out of you seeing that you have a skill set.
57:17 Bobby Lee? I, I fly first class. I know.
57:21 Bobby Lee? I know, I know. Yeah, yeah.
57:22 Speaker 04 Only light on seats. Only light on seats. Uh, no, but I think it's you saw that you guys could do this and so you did it. You have the skill set and you're, you'd be good at this.
57:30 Bobby Lee? Hmm.
57:31 Speaker 04 So you do it because of that.
57:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
57:32 Speaker 04 Cause a lot of people would love to be able to do this.
57:34 Bobby Lee? I don't want to talk about me.
57:35 Speaker 04 All we've done is talk about you.
57:37 Bobby Lee? I know, and it feels, it feels weird.
57:38 Speaker 04 This entire thing.
57:39 Bobby Lee? So Ben, let's go back to you. Jules, you haven't said shit.
57:43 Speaker 02 Um, hello.
57:44 Speaker 04 How are you?
57:46 Speaker 04 How are you? How's everything?
57:47 Speaker 02 Good.
57:48 Speaker 04 Good.
57:48 Bobby Lee? So let me explain Jules real quick. So then, um, Jules, um, is, um, my ex-girlfriend's Khalyla's niece.
57:54 Speaker 04 Okay, cool.
57:55 Bobby Lee? Now, Jules.
57:56 Speaker 04 How old are you?
57:57 Speaker 02 Twenty-three.
57:58 Speaker 04 Twenty-three, wow.
57:58 Bobby Lee? But when she was in high school.
57:59 Speaker 04 How old are you?
58:00 Bobby Lee? Fifty-three.
58:01 Speaker 04 Oh my God. Okay, great.
58:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah. So when she was in high school.
58:04 Speaker 04 Twenty-eight. Good.
58:05 Bobby Lee? We didn't, really didn't ask.
58:06 Speaker 04 And I want to hear what your closing joke is before we're done.
58:08 Bobby Lee? Okay. But in high school, she moved here from the Philippines and she went to, you know, high school here. You know what I mean? And so, um, she doesn't like podcasts. She doesn't want to do them, but people seem to really love her.
58:20 Speaker 04 Because you don't want to be here.
58:22 Speaker 02 I guess.
58:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Over a hundred thousand now. Well, how many followers do you have on Instagram? Hundreds of thousands?
58:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
58:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
58:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
58:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and she doesn't post, she doesn't give a shit about it, she doesn't want...
58:33 Speaker 04 What are you passionate about? Like, if someone gave you a microphone and let you talk about whatever you want to talk about, what would you talk about?
58:38 Bobby Lee? Surfing.
58:39 Speaker 02 Maybe anime?
58:41 Speaker 04 Anime?
58:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
58:41 Speaker 04 Which anime are you into?
58:43 Speaker 02 Uh, right now, One Piece.
58:45 Speaker 04 One Piece, not, I thought you were gonna say One Punch Man, One Piece.
58:47 Speaker 02 I als- you watch One Punch?
58:49 Speaker 04 I have, yeah, yeah, yeah.
58:50 Speaker 02 Are you, you like anime?
58:51 Speaker 04 I, I am not, I learned who people, people who are into anime are really into anime. And I am not that. I wish I put the hours in, but my hours are put into like Simpsons and all my cartoons when I was a kid. To start anime from where I was and to like start drag, there's so much stuff. But I, I watch like, I've seen that, but I don't know the one that you're talking about.
59:11 Speaker 02 You should try it, it's really good. But there's like a thousand epis-
59:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that's why, that's why I'm scared of it, because there's a thousand-
59:16 Speaker 04 That's what I can't do.
59:17 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I can't do it.
59:17 Speaker 04 It's just-
59:18 Bobby Lee? A thousand?
59:18 Speaker 04 I like completing things too.
59:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, me too.
59:20 Speaker 04 So I'm like, if I have to keep going, I'd lose my mind.
59:22 Bobby Lee? Me too, yeah.
59:23 Speaker 02 But you're not gonna die anytime soon, so you have time.
59:26 Bobby Lee? Thank you. Thank you, Dr. Jules.
59:29 Speaker 04 Thank god for Ozempic, right?
59:31 Bobby Lee? Do you play, uh, video games, Ben?
59:33 Speaker 04 Love video games.
59:34 Bobby Lee? What do you play?
59:34 Speaker 04 Oh, wait, we're probably, I'm 43, you're, oh, okay, so what did you grow up with? Oh, I can talk video games.
59:39 Bobby Lee? Okay, okay.
59:40 Speaker 04 Don't do this unless you really wanna do this.
59:41 Bobby Lee? No, I'm already doing it.
59:42 Speaker 04 What were your consoles growing up?
59:44 Bobby Lee? Growing up?
59:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
59:45 Bobby Lee? Well, oh, you wanna go back? In television.
59:47 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
59:48 Bobby Lee? That's way back-
59:48 Speaker 04 Were you playing Pitfall?
59:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, in the 70s.
59:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
59:51 Bobby Lee? I'm, I'm, I started with Pong.
59:52 Speaker 04 Pong, and yeah, you ever play Zork, that word?
59:55 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, Zork was fun, yeah.
59:56 Speaker 04 I played that one, I was okay.
59:57 Bobby Lee? And so, and then, you know, when you, in my twenties, I was poor, so I didn't play at all.
1:00:02 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:00:02 Bobby Lee? I couldn't afford anything.
1:00:03 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:00:03 Bobby Lee? But then when I started making money, you know, when Halo started happening, we used to like hook up all our-
1:00:07 Speaker 04 So you missed all Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Genesis-
1:00:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah, all that stuff.
1:00:10 Speaker 04 N64 PlayStation, and you only came back when Xbox came out.
1:00:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but is that okay?
1:00:15 Speaker 04 It's great.
1:00:15 Bobby Lee? Thank you.
1:00:16 Speaker 04 You're just missing my golden years.
1:00:17 Bobby Lee? I know, but in the last 10 years, what's your favorite games?
1:00:19 Speaker 04 Oof, okay, uh, Inside, you ever play Inside?
1:00:22 Bobby Lee? No.
1:00:22 Speaker 04 Oh, my god, it's so good.
1:00:24 Bobby Lee? What is Inside?
1:00:24 Speaker 04 Inside is developed, one person, I believe, made the whole thing, or two people made the whole thing. It's a side-scroller, it's so interesting and dark, and has, you beat it in four hours, so you can finish it in the night. And it has the weirdest ending of any video game ever made.
1:00:37 Bobby Lee? Really?
1:00:38 Speaker 04 The guy who made it also made a game called, uh, Limbo, which is-
1:00:40 Bobby Lee? I love Limbo.
1:00:41 Speaker 04 Dude.
1:00:41 Bobby Lee? I play Limbo.
1:00:42 Speaker 04 This is better than Limbo.
1:00:43 Bobby Lee? It's not better than Limbo.
1:00:44 Speaker 04 It is.
1:00:45 Bobby Lee? I don't like side scrolls all.
1:00:46 Speaker 00 Looks like.
1:00:47 Speaker 04 Dude, it's a, you're gonna go crazy. It's such a good game.
1:00:49 Bobby Lee? Oh my god.
1:00:51 Speaker 04 And it's so weird and unique, and it's scary and it's spooky.
1:00:54 Bobby Lee? I just played one like this where I'm in a yellow rain jacket and I couldn't do it. I was so scared.
1:00:58 Speaker 04 Oh yeah, that's more like, I know what you're talking about. That's a, it is a scary one. You have to like do puzzles and stuff?
1:01:03 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:01:03 Speaker 04 And time, you can change time a little bit?
1:01:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, it was too scary. But this like seems great.
1:01:07 Speaker 04 Dude, it's great.
1:01:08 Bobby Lee? This is a side scroller still though.
1:01:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, I love side scrollers.
1:01:11 Bobby Lee? This is side scroll?
1:01:12 Speaker 04 It is, yeah.
1:01:12 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:01:13 Speaker 04 It is.
1:01:13 Bobby Lee? And there's puzzles, there must be puzzles.
1:01:15 Speaker 04 Uh, kinda, yeah. It's more like figuring it out.
1:01:17 Bobby Lee? Do you ever play Stardew Valley?
1:01:19 Speaker 04 No, what's that? I don't play PC games. Is it all kind, what kind of games you play?
1:01:25 Speaker 00 He loves a good farming simulation.
1:01:27 Speaker 04 Oh, is it just a farming simulation?
1:01:28 Bobby Lee? It's not just, man.
1:01:29 Speaker 04 I'm sorry.
1:01:30 Bobby Lee? I didn't grow up, man.
1:01:31 Speaker 04 Is it like the, what's the game where you cook, overcooked? Do you love that too?
1:01:35 Bobby Lee? No, man.
1:01:36 Speaker 04 Sorry, you don't know.
1:01:37 Bobby Lee? So I wanna?
1:01:38 Speaker 04 Yeah, but get it out, tell me.
1:01:39 Bobby Lee? I'm gonna.
1:01:39 Speaker 04 This is great. Take your time, take your time.
1:01:41 Bobby Lee? Alright, so, um, I think Stardew Valley is as.
1:01:44 Speaker 04 Can we see that?
1:01:45 Bobby Lee? I think Stardew Valley is as good as Red Dead 2.
1:01:48 Speaker 04 Oh wow.
1:01:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I think Stardew Valley.
1:01:50 Speaker 04 Do you play RPGs? You play roleplay games?
1:01:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, Skyrim, any Bethesda game, I think.
1:01:53 Speaker 04 But you never played Chrono Trigger or any of the other ones?
1:01:55 Bobby Lee? No.
1:01:56 Speaker 04 Chrono Trigger I think is maybe the best.
1:01:57 Bobby Lee? You have to text me these.
1:01:58 Speaker 04 I will, and then Final Fantasy, American Title III. You do any, any Final Fantasies? Seven, what is it PlayStation?
1:02:03 Bobby Lee? Are they turn-based? I don't like turn-based fighting.
1:02:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, where it's four people and you choose to attack.
1:02:08 Bobby Lee? No, I don't like, I don't like that. I want one guy fighting.
1:02:11 Speaker 04 The whole time?
1:02:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:02:12 Speaker 04 Wait, I have to see what you're doing.
1:02:13 Bobby Lee? So this is Stardew Valley?
1:02:16 Bobby Lee? I know, okay. It's what's up.
1:02:18 Speaker 04 Is it like SimCity or Actraiser?
1:02:20 Bobby Lee? Okay. Uh, okay.
1:02:21 Speaker 04 Do you guys know what Actraiser is or no? No.
1:02:23 Bobby Lee? Push pause for a second, okay.
1:02:25 Speaker 04 Is this so boring to you guys?
1:02:26 Speaker 02 No, I like it.
1:02:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, it, this, okay, this game on surface, it's, looks weird, alright?
1:02:31 Speaker 04 Right.
1:02:32 Bobby Lee? But it's really an RPG.
1:02:35 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:02:35 Bobby Lee? Because this is, it's, yeah, one, it, it's, it is a farming simulation where you have a farm.
1:02:42 Bobby Lee? It is that, right? But it's ol, that's only 10% of the game. That's only 10%. There's fighting, there's, there's a lot of grinding.
1:02:50 Speaker 04 Show me if, I wanted to see what the fighting looks like.
1:02:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that, you, you, there's, you, you could upgrade weapons.
1:02:54 Speaker 04 Did you ever play Link to the Past?
1:02:55 Bobby Lee? No.
1:02:55 Speaker 04 Oh god, Jesus.
1:02:57 Bobby Lee? And, and, okay, so this game, right?
1:02:59 Speaker 04 You got, okay, so this looks like a game called Actraiser. I don't know if you've ever seen Actraiser. Actraiser is you get a plot of land, you have to like use lightning and everything to make it so you can farm. You farm, you build houses.
1:03:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:03:08 Speaker 04 And then, once you get enough people that follow you, then you go and fight people as this big warrior.
1:03:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:03:13 Speaker 04 And you're like their god.
1:03:14 Bobby Lee? So, anyway, this game is so in-depth.
1:03:17 Speaker 04 I get it, I get this. I totally get this.
1:03:19 Bobby Lee? And today, after the second, this podcast, the creator's coming.
1:03:23 Speaker 04 Oh, how cool.
1:03:24 Bobby Lee? But, anyway, um, so what else do you like?
1:03:28 Speaker 01 Hey, you ever seen that movie, um?
1:03:30 Bobby Lee? Oh, here we go.
1:03:30 Speaker 04 This is good.
1:03:31 Bobby Lee? Here we go.
1:03:32 Speaker 01 Uh, I love, I think it's called The Wizard?
1:03:34 Speaker 04 Oh, my god, I love that game. They intro Mario 3 on that.
1:03:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:03:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:03:38 Bobby Lee? What is that?
1:03:38 Speaker 04 And they also intro the power glove.
1:03:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:03:40 Bobby Lee? Oh, well, so then, maybe I'm not as big as you.
1:03:44 Speaker 04 No, but I'm, I'm in the years that you didn't play.
1:03:46 Bobby Lee? Oh, you are?
1:03:47 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in the years, because I got a console. I got Nintendo and Super Nintendo. My friend had Genesis.
1:03:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so I did all the Bethesda games, like, you know, I mean, Morrowind and on and on and on.
1:03:56 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:03:57 Bobby Lee? So I've done all the, um, you know, the Rockstar games, you know what I mean, like Red Dead and, um?
1:04:01 Speaker 04 Did Grand Theft Auto.
1:04:02 Bobby Lee? Grand Theft Auto, right? So I do all the big ones.
1:04:04 Speaker 04 I've never played Red Dead. I heard it's amazing. I get addicted to games now, so if I start one, and like, I just played, uh, the new Zelda, which was like, I beat, it took like 150 hours.
1:04:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:04:14 Speaker 04 Breath of the Wind? No, the next one. That's the first one. The next one is not Twilight. It's, what is it called?
1:04:20 Speaker 04 I forget what it is, but I beat it. But it's like, I put so much time into it that it was amazing.
1:04:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:04:25 Speaker 04 It was amazing. Same with those Final Fantasy games. Chrono Trigger is also, I think, the best.
1:04:29 Bobby Lee? Chrono Trigger, right.
1:04:29 Speaker 04 Dude, if you could find it.
1:04:30 Bobby Lee? I don't like turn-based.
1:04:31 Speaker 04 It is, but you'll love it. It's emu, you get an emulator. Do you have any, you have any like nerdy little?
1:04:36 Bobby Lee? No.
1:04:36 Speaker 04 So when I travel, I have a, I have a little handheld console that I can put everything on it. So I have like PlayStation, Genesis, Super Nintendo, Nintendo.
1:04:44 Bobby Lee? What's it called?
1:04:45 Speaker 04 I'll, I'll send you.
1:04:46 Bobby Lee? I'll send it to you.
1:04:47 Speaker 04 And then I got a friend to put every single thing on it. So every game for everything is on it.
1:04:51 Bobby Lee? So you could play Skyrim on it?
1:04:53 Speaker 04 I wonder if you play PC. Can you? Probably. It matters how big the file is.
1:04:57 Bobby Lee? But Skyrim is a Xbox game. You could probably put.
1:04:59 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, because you have.
1:05:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:05:00 Speaker 04 Something like this. Yeah, I have like a different version of it. It's like a thousand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:05:04 Bobby Lee? No.
1:05:04 Speaker 04 But then I also got like they're the, you know, the game grumps. Do you guys know who they are? Yeah. They're a big YouTube guy. They're, they play video games. They know everything about video games and they helped me put like everything on there and change the system of it and like all.
1:05:14 Bobby Lee? How do you do? I don't know. Do I know? Do we know people? DJ, you must be a nerd. Okay, okay. I gotta get, yeah, we gotta do all that.
1:05:22 Speaker 04 We're on flights all the time and sometimes I like, I try to write on flights, but I'm like, that's how I unplug and relax by playing those video games.
1:05:27 Bobby Lee? Oh my God, we gotta, we gotta figure all that out, man.
1:05:29 Speaker 04 And I can tell you what games to play. You'll have the best time.
1:05:31 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to change my, like, I gotta change my life with that.
1:05:35 Speaker 04 You deserve it.
1:05:36 Bobby Lee? I deserve all of it.
1:05:37 Speaker 04 You deserve it.
1:05:38 Bobby Lee? I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Yeah, yeah.
1:05:39 Speaker 04 Celeste was good. Celeste is a new game. I'm trying to think of a new game.
1:05:41 Bobby Lee? Celeste or Celeste?
1:05:42 Speaker 04 Celeste.
1:05:43 Bobby Lee? Oh, Celeste. Okay.
1:05:44 Speaker 04 And it talks about depression and like.
1:05:45 Bobby Lee? No.
1:05:46 Speaker 04 You're like this character that's fighting, but then also gets into deep conversations. It's amazing.
1:05:50 Bobby Lee? Oh my God.
1:05:50 Speaker 04 I know.
1:05:51 Bobby Lee? You gotta do all that stuff. I can afford it, right? Yeah, I want to be able to afford all of it.
1:05:55 Speaker 04 What's the craziest thing you bought with your money that you made? You've made enough money now. What's the silliest thing you bought?
1:06:00 Speaker 05 He bought a cat, a whole cat entertainment console outside and like a little.
1:06:04 Speaker 04 A cat? What do you mean?
1:06:05 Speaker 05 Twenty thousand dollars, a cat, yeah, catio.
1:06:08 Bobby Lee? A cat, a cat, cat, catio.
1:06:10 Speaker 04 What does that mean?
1:06:11 Bobby Lee? So I have an outside, you know, I have an outside part, right? And I drilled a hole, not me, but engineer, what do I call them? Construction people.
1:06:20 Bobby Lee? Right? And, and it's out, it goes Lisa outside, but it's.
1:06:22 Speaker 04 Oh, this is great. This is, you have one of these?
1:06:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I do.
1:06:24 Speaker 04 Oh, I love it.
1:06:25 Bobby Lee? And they've never been out there. Tools, how many times have you seen the people, the cats in the catio?
1:06:30 Speaker 02 I think the last time was like two years ago.
1:06:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. They will not go out there.
1:06:34 Speaker 04 That's so funny.
1:06:35 Bobby Lee? It's a waste of money.
1:06:36 Speaker 04 That's such a funny bit.
1:06:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Also, I bought them, I buy them beds. They don't sleep in there. I caught Bojo sleeping.
1:06:42 Speaker 04 They never come inside?
1:06:43 Bobby Lee? No. I saw cat, uh, my cat Bojo slept in the inside of a rolled yoga mat once.
1:06:49 Speaker 04 What if it's like raining or something?
1:06:50 Bobby Lee? They will not go out there.
1:06:51 Speaker 04 They won't go to the catio?
1:06:52 Bobby Lee? Unless I open the backyard, they'll go out there.
1:06:54 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:06:54 Bobby Lee? Yeah, they don't like the fencing system. Do you have animals?
1:06:56 Speaker 04 I have a dog. Oh.
1:06:59 Bobby Lee? What's this right here?
1:07:00 Speaker 04 Oh, it was a page at Letterman. Yeah, what were you doing? And yeah. Oh, yeah, they cut that part on top. So I was a page in the bottom. So I worked at Letterman. And what I did in Letterman was I showed people to their seats and like I helped them to the bathroom. Wow.
1:07:14 Bobby Lee? How old were you here?
1:07:15 Speaker 04 Uh, 2003. So I was, uh, was right out of college. So it's probably 20, 22. Damn. So.
1:07:22 Bobby Lee? What was he like?
1:07:23 Speaker 04 I barely got to talk to him.
1:07:26 Speaker 04 But then, uh, before he retired, I was a guest on it. In my head, I was like, man, if one day I get to actually be in that thing. Uh, so right before he retired, I was on a show called House of Lies with Cheadle and Kristen Bell.
1:07:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:07:38 Speaker 04 And I got to be a guest on it. And so it was like one of my bucket list things. So although, uh, I put so much, so much pressure in my head to get to that show that when it happened, it was just not as, I thought it was gonna feel different. Like I was just like, oh my God, I, I did it. I did this thing. I've always wanted to be a guest on the show. I was a page here. And when I was on stage and when it was over, it just didn't feel like I thought it was gonna feel.
1:08:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:08:01 Speaker 04 But it was one of my, it was one of my things. And then, uh, since then, since Colbert's hosted, I've done it twice, but Colbert is like an improviser. He's from Second, he's from Second City.
1:08:10 Bobby Lee? Did you, did you know him from Second City or no?
1:08:11 Speaker 04 No, I didn't know him until I did his show.
1:08:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:08:13 Speaker 04 And then we did, we had such a good first episode and then he invited me to interview him for Paley Fest.
1:08:18 Bobby Lee? Oh, wow.
1:08:19 Speaker 04 And we basically just did an hour and a half long show of me playing around with him. And then, um, so when I did his show last time, we just went bananas. Now anytime I go on the show, I get to, it's just, we get to go bananas.
1:08:28 Bobby Lee? Oh my.
1:08:28 Speaker 04 Which is like a dream for any comedian when you go on a talk show because it's very much regimented.
1:08:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:08:33 Speaker 04 You're trying to get the person comfortably enough to let you go. Like the people that I love, like Robin Williams coming on the air when I was a kid. Or like Farley or Bill Murray. Those are the people that when they went on, I was like, oh my God, I can't wait. I have no idea what's gonna happen. This is gonna be amazing.
1:08:45 Bobby Lee? I've only done one talk show.
1:08:46 Speaker 04 Really?
1:08:47 Bobby Lee? In 2000.
1:08:48 Speaker 04 What did you do?
1:08:49 Bobby Lee? I did stand up on Leno and, and they've never, no one's ever asked me back on any of them.
1:08:53 Speaker 04 You did stand up on The Tonight Show. That's insane that you're only one.
1:08:55 Bobby Lee? Ben, don't do this. All right. Why can't we do this? Why can't I be not, why can't I not have things going on? Why, why can't I just go, I was not doing.
1:09:04 Speaker 04 Hi, mate. Do you wish you went on The Tonight Show and did stand up?
1:09:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:09:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:09:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. One day, one day.
1:09:09 Speaker 01 One day.
1:09:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah, one day you will. Yeah, yeah. I did that, right?
1:09:13 Speaker 04 What's that impression? What are you doing right now? Tell me that joke. I bet you know.
1:09:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I'll go, oh, you, you're some Asian thing.
1:09:18 Speaker 04 Actually, that's probably.
1:09:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, probably.
1:09:19 Speaker 04 For real?
1:09:21 Bobby Lee? Or something like that. A version of that. Yeah, yeah.
1:09:23 Speaker 04 His dad.
1:09:23 Bobby Lee? Do that once. Do that once.
1:09:25 Speaker 04 I'll do it as Morgan Freeman.
1:09:27 Bobby Lee? Very fast.
1:09:28 Speaker 04 You must remember your five minutes in that, because if that's the only time you did it, you must have been so nervous.
1:09:32 Bobby Lee? I remember them going, "You can't do that, you can't do that."
1:09:35 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:09:36 Bobby Lee? And me fighting for some, like, so one was like...
1:09:38 Speaker 04 What Joe killed, do you remember?
1:09:41 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I don't know how it goes.
1:09:42 Speaker 04 Wait, and you said that your first special's coming out, so that's probably one of the only times people can see you...
1:09:47 Bobby Lee? I've done a couple of five-minute sets on a variety of, like...
1:09:50 Speaker 04 Or like Premium Blend?
1:09:51 Bobby Lee? Yes, I did Premium Blend, I did all those, but, um, yeah, I've never done... So the special is very stressful, because it's like, there's a lot of...
1:09:57 Speaker 04 It's exciting.
1:09:57 Bobby Lee? Expectation...
1:09:58 Speaker 05 Kim's a comedy, probably, the longest?
1:09:59 Bobby Lee? Kim's a comedy, maybe, yeah, I did a thing with Ken and, um...
1:10:04 Speaker 04 Ken Jeong, who you punched in the face?
1:10:05 Bobby Lee? No, he punched me. Okay, but I love, we're good now.
1:10:08 Speaker 04 Did you deserve it?
1:10:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:10:09 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:10:11 Bobby Lee? And, yeah, you know what, dude, I deserve a lot of things.
1:10:14 Speaker 04 Hey, there you go, man.
1:10:15 Bobby Lee? You've never been punched in the face?
1:10:18 Speaker 04 No, no, maybe playing basketball, I've gotten headbutts.
1:10:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, but not like, "Hey, Ben, come over, you owe me money."
1:10:24 Speaker 04 I'm terrified, I'm terrified of that. Have you been in a lot of fights?
1:10:27 Bobby Lee? I've been beaten up a lot, yeah.
1:10:28 Speaker 04 Really?
1:10:29 Bobby Lee? In showbiz, yeah. Yeah, but you know, it's, calm down.
1:10:31 Speaker 04 Oh, when I play characters, I always get beat up.
1:10:33 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, that was good.
1:10:34 Speaker 04 Whenever I'm in a scene, like, my character's usually the one that gets his ass kicked.
1:10:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:10:39 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
1:10:40 Bobby Lee? Wow, so, um, you've done it all, then? I mean, I mean, look at your life, if you look back at your life, from fucking being a page...
1:10:48 Speaker 04 Oh, it's insane.
1:10:49 Bobby Lee? Right?
1:10:49 Speaker 04 I would not be able to comprehend, I truly...
1:10:52 Bobby Lee? And then the Matt Walsh, you see?
1:10:53 Speaker 04 My parents had no money growing up, like, I was lucky enough, we grew up middle class, but we knew nobody in the industry. This is, if I look back, it is ludicrous, even any modicum of success, but it's like, the things I've done, I love video games, I get to play Sonic. I love cartoon, Duck Tales is my favorite show when I was a kid, I got to play Dewey.
1:11:10 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:11:10 Speaker 04 I got to play Leonardo in Teenage Mutant Turtles. I got to do all these things that as a kid, I would never in a million years. And then improv, there I am.
1:11:18 Bobby Lee? Oh, my god.
1:11:20 Speaker 04 In the Bronx, and then me...
1:11:21 Bobby Lee? Are you Jewish?
1:11:22 Speaker 04 No.
1:11:23 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:11:23 Speaker 04 No, I'm very Jewish. What did you think he was? I'm literally, you can see, there's like a- Are you Puerto Rican? There's a dreidel in my mouth.
1:11:33 Speaker 04 I'm literally sucking on a dreidel right there.
1:11:35 Bobby Lee? Uh oh.
1:11:36 Speaker 04 But there's, for improv, the biggest thing for me for improv was that we only performed for 90 people at UCB. That's what it was. Nobody ever really went beyond that.
1:11:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:11:43 Speaker 04 And then we, I built it out and then different people, we all did these things. And if you told me that I was playing any of the venues I'm playing now, it would not even make sense because long-term improv never got to play those venues.
1:11:55 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:11:55 Speaker 04 So we are the first people to break into 90% of these venues.
1:11:58 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:11:58 Speaker 04 So for me, that's the biggest thing where it's like, this is insane. I can't believe, none of it is real. I was not expecting any of this. I just always worked really hard.
1:12:07 Bobby Lee? You didn't live in the results.
1:12:08 Speaker 04 I lived in the moment.
1:12:09 Bobby Lee? I think this should be the title of this episode. You didn't, you did it because you loved it.
1:12:14 Speaker 04 Yes.
1:12:15 Bobby Lee? And there's another thing to it too is that-
1:12:16 Speaker 04 You have to be willing to fail, right? You have to be willing to-
1:12:18 Bobby Lee? Willing to fail.
1:12:19 Speaker 04 To not make money on it.
1:12:20 Bobby Lee? But also, I was walking down the street, I saw an-
1:12:22 Speaker 04 Congrats, by the way.
1:12:26 Speaker 04 Because you usually take a moped, right?
1:12:29 Speaker 04 Isn't that your thing?
1:12:31 Bobby Lee? That was so funny. God, you still got it, kid.
1:12:34 Speaker 04 Thank god.
1:12:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but um, I was walking down the street in La Jolla and I walked by the Comedy Store, La Jolla. There was a "Help Wanted" sign and I got a job there as a barback.
1:12:46 Speaker 04 This is at the beginning?
1:12:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and I um, and I just crawled from open mics. My parents are immigrants, they had no, obviously no connections to, you know what I mean? Even America, really. You know what I mean? They only spoke Korean. And I kinda just crawled my way up. I mean, I did a lot of backstabbing and cockroachy behavior.
1:13:05 Speaker 04 Did you?
1:13:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah, to climb up. Oh my god, so many cockroachy behaviors of like sabotage and-
1:13:10 Speaker 04 Really?
1:13:11 Bobby Lee? Oh yeah, and like, people turned their back on, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Not literally, but like-
1:13:17 Speaker 04 No, I get it. But he's used this podcast-
1:13:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I'm a big fan and then, you know what I mean, that kinda thing. But it's like, I, you know, I got here, you know what I mean?
1:13:25 Speaker 04 Yeah dude.
1:13:25 Bobby Lee? Without any connections at all.
1:13:27 Speaker 04 You worked your ass off.
1:13:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I just, you know, I remember my agent I met at the Comedy Store in the patio. He was a mailroom guy at O'Gersh, right? And now he's the head of the comedy department at CAA.
1:13:39 Speaker 04 Wow.
1:13:40 Bobby Lee? Right? But I remember meeting him in the 90s and he was like, he's a kid from Bakersfield and I kinda got in that way with, I grew up with people.
1:13:49 Speaker 04 Yeah dude.
1:13:49 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean? And so I look back at my life and I go- Yeah, even though you're a scoundrel, you know what I mean? I've done some good things too. I hope a bunch of people get sober.
1:13:57 Speaker 04 It seems like you've grown is the biggest thing involved.
1:14:00 Bobby Lee? Thank you, thank you.
1:14:00 Speaker 04 I don't think you're backstabbing people now.
1:14:03 Bobby Lee? And I think I exaggerate. Like, for instance, you know, that Kitty Dipple thing.
1:14:06 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:14:06 Bobby Lee? I don't think, I think I exaggerated that. I don't think there was any of like, I'm gonna shoot up the room or anything like that. You know what I mean? So it's like, there's a lot of exaggeration going on. I think that at the end of the day, I'm a decent dude and I did it the right way. And I feel, there's a sense of pride with that. I'm sure you feel the same way.
1:14:23 Speaker 04 There, there is the, and also it's the same thing. I couldn't afford class at UCB, so I asked to be an intern. I did the garbage there and recycling there and gave out tickets. And that's how I, that's how I got classes and then I took the classes, you know what I mean? And Amy was a part of like, I took class at UCB because I loved SNL and I loved Amy on SNL. And I was like, okay. And I took class at Second City, New York and that at the same time. And UCB really made sense to me. And when I was doing stand-up, I was still like, ah, stand-up? I, I wish I was amazing at this, but I really love this. This is what I'm better at, I think. So I leaned towards improv. But I, same thing. I didn't know, I was doing the garbage and the recycling to get classes. And then, and then you slowly build. Dying to get a commercial agent, dying. Finally took a class that they forced commercial agents to come at the end.
1:15:08 Speaker 04 And then they saw me, I didn't get an agent. I did do it again. I finally got a commercial agent. I started booking commercials, but they never aired. But I made just enough money to like, just have enough money. Like, I would eat pizza, plain pizza slices, but take all the free toppings. Like, the red peppers and the Parmesan and pile of months. They felt like they were special. I went to Wendy's, I knew the dollar menu by heart.
1:15:26 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:15:26 Speaker 04 You learn, you just, you just, but it was the best time. The beginning is always the best time. What are the items in the Wendy's dollar menu? Oh, you'd get a burger. Well, by the way, also, if you do McDonald's, there's two things. If I had enough money, I'd get the two burger, the two cheeseburger meal at McDonald's. Um, and then, but Burger King, I'd also get like the 99 cent pies. Remember they had chocolate, they had different pies? But Wendy's, it would be, uh, chicken nuggets, a burger by itself and a fry by itself.
1:15:49 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:15:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, and then I would have tap water at home.
1:15:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah. I used to eat that. Really?
1:15:54 Speaker 04 Yeah, of course.
1:15:55 Bobby Lee? Me and my roommate, Calista, we live in Silver Lake. And we used to split a BRC burrito at El Pollo Loco.
1:16:01 Speaker 04 Oh.
1:16:02 Bobby Lee? Bean, rice and cheese burrito. And we would argue about who got more beans.
1:16:08 Bobby Lee? And that's how poor.
1:16:08 Speaker 04 But I think about that time as maybe my favorite time of in comedy of my life.
1:16:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:16:14 Speaker 04 For real.
1:16:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:16:15 Speaker 04 The stuff when I had nothing and we were just, nobody was watching us. We'd be so excited if anybody came. It was me, Adam Pally and Gil Ozeri. We were a team called Hot Sauce.
1:16:22 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:16:23 Speaker 04 And nobody knew who we were and nobody would come to our fucking shows and.
1:16:26 Speaker 05 Come on, you're a cage match.
1:16:28 Speaker 04 Say, oh yeah?
1:16:28 Speaker 05 Nobody came to your shows.
1:16:29 Speaker 04 Did you see, you saw that?
1:16:30 Speaker 05 Yeah, I was in New York at the time.
1:16:31 Speaker 04 Oh my god.
1:16:32 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:16:33 Speaker 05 There was one where you guys didn't even stand on stage once. You like went into the audience.
1:16:37 Bobby Lee? How many people were there?
1:16:38 Speaker 05 You know about this?
1:16:38 Bobby Lee? How many people were there?
1:16:39 Speaker 05 I was there for that one.
1:16:39 Bobby Lee? How many people were there?
1:16:40 Speaker 04 That's when we were selling out.
1:16:41 Speaker 05 Probably forty.
1:16:41 Speaker 04 That's when we were selling out.
1:16:42 Speaker 05 Yeah, it was a hundred, yeah.
1:16:43 Speaker 04 Wait, that, so wait, that's amazing that you're saying it.
1:16:45 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:16:46 Speaker 04 The beginning of that was, I was still an intern and then I became a bartender at UCB because I needed money.
1:16:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:16:51 Speaker 04 And then there's a show on Sundays called Ask Cat and that's where Amy and all those guys performed, the best people. They would get offstage and we would beg the manager of the theater because it's over, the show's over, we cleaned up. I mopped the stage, I mopped the stage.
1:17:04 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:17:05 Speaker 04 And I said, can me, Gil and Adam just get on stage in front of nobody and just, just do scenes? And the manager's like, come on, we gotta go home. I go, please, please, please.
1:17:13 Bobby Lee? Wow, wow.
1:17:13 Speaker 04 And for fifteen, twenty minutes, the three of us, nobody would come see us perform. So we just performed for nobody when the theater was closed. And we would laugh and it was the best time. And then we started doing more shit together. And then we started, we did a cage match, which is one team shows up, another team shows up. You both perform, whoever has the best, the audience decides who comes back.
1:17:30 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:17:31 Speaker 04 And we won and we kept winning. And that's how people started to notice us because we were so, we did scenes that were like ten seconds long sometimes. We were really quick. And then we wanted to make it unique. So every show we invented a new form. So the form you're talking about was, we never went on stage, all three of us stayed in the audience and pretended that we were heckling different things. Like thirty minutes?
1:17:51 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:17:52 Speaker 04 For thirty minutes. Were you at that or no?
1:17:53 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:17:54 Bobby Lee? That's so good.
1:17:55 Speaker 04 Nobody's seen that, I cannot.
1:17:56 Speaker 05 Straight from like a baseball stadium.
1:17:57 Speaker 04 That's exactly right.
1:17:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.
1:18:00 Speaker 04 Dude, I can't, I almost want to talk to you because I don't remember it and I can't wait to hear about it. But it was like, literally that, we're at a baseball stadium and then like we would sometimes would know each other. Hey, John! But we sat on, the audience was three pieces, one and two here.
1:18:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:18:12 Speaker 04 Someone sat there, someone sat there, someone sat there. And we would yell at each other or yell at whatever we would pretend is happening on.
1:18:17 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:18:18 Speaker 04 That's your, that's a very unique show. And we're all Jewish.
1:18:21 Bobby Lee? I, I know, I love that.
1:18:22 Speaker 04 We all, we all have a little humming-toshin inside our mouth.
1:18:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but I'm, yeah, yeah.
1:18:27 Speaker 04 Do you want to do a Jewish, a Jewish accent right now or no? Oh my god. Sounds like an Asian joke.
1:18:34 Bobby Lee? Why come on my butt?
1:18:35 Speaker 04 Do all of your accents have a little hint of Asian?
1:18:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I think you're looking at my A's, dude, again.
1:18:39 Speaker 04 Oh, sorry.
1:18:40 Bobby Lee? Yes, I'm looking at my A's, you know what I mean? But, um...
1:18:42 Speaker 04 I can't believe you're at that show. That means, I can't believe that, because for improv, once it's over, it's over. For you, you could do jokes from that set and take it to other sets. We never do the same shit, so it's...
1:18:52 Bobby Lee? That's bullshit.
1:18:53 Speaker 04 You had to be there.
1:18:53 Bobby Lee? I'll tell you why that's bullshit.
1:18:54 Speaker 04 Tell me.
1:18:55 Bobby Lee? Right, because you know...
1:18:56 Speaker 04 Because you haven't seen the show in 20 years, tell me.
1:18:57 Bobby Lee? No, no, no. What I'm saying is, I know how it works.
1:19:01 Speaker 04 Tell me.
1:19:01 Bobby Lee? So, what I'm saying is, you're telling me that something you did in LA, four years later, let's say you're in like Oklahoma City or whatever, that you don't say the same lines?
1:19:10 Speaker 04 Never.
1:19:11 Bobby Lee? Ever?
1:19:12 Speaker 04 No, you, you might see me saying, playing same characters.
1:19:14 Bobby Lee? Exactly, but there's some nuances, you know, you're my...
1:19:17 Speaker 04 I like being asshole character, or like, I'll be a waiter, but that waiter's gonna, if you probably, if you were at that show, it means you went to see a lot of shows.
1:19:22 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:19:23 Bobby Lee? So, never you're, you're like, oh, I, I, I...
1:19:25 Speaker 04 We might say, let me...
1:19:26 Bobby Lee? There's a line from six years ago in, in Fort Lauderdale I can do right now. You don't do that?
1:19:30 Speaker 04 Never.
1:19:30 Bobby Lee? Oh, really?
1:19:31 Speaker 04 No, but sometimes like if a troll appears, he'll ask you to answer his riddles, but like...
1:19:35 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:19:35 Speaker 04 It won't, it won't be like, it won't be like, you know, like, even if I'm playing a wizard or a magician, I make sure that is a totally different thing than...
1:19:44 Bobby Lee? Kind of wizard.
1:19:44 Speaker 04 I'll never try to do the same exact lines, yeah, never.
1:19:46 Bobby Lee? Be wizard now. Be wizard.
1:19:48 Speaker 04 What would you like me to do? Go.
1:19:49 Bobby Lee? Uh, talk about, um...
1:19:50 Speaker 05 You should improvise with him, just be a person talking to a wizard.
1:19:52 Speaker 04 Great, I'm a wizard, go.
1:19:53 Bobby Lee? What am I then?
1:19:54 Speaker 04 No, don't say anything, just do it, go. Nothing. Oh, here, I'll help you out.
1:19:57 Bobby Lee? No, no, I, I, no, I don't need your help.
1:19:59 Speaker 04 I'll be out.
1:19:59 Bobby Lee? I don't need your help.
1:20:00 Speaker 04 Bob, you play yourself, you play yourself.
1:20:01 Bobby Lee? No, I don't...
1:20:02 Speaker 04 What my music do with the fucking...
1:20:03 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I don't need your help.
1:20:04 Speaker 05 This is crutch.
1:20:04 Speaker 04 A hat on, a hat on, a hat on that.
1:20:06 Bobby Lee? I don't need your, I don't need your help.
1:20:07 Speaker 04 You're not allowed, you're not allowed. Do a scene with me, you're not allowed.
1:20:09 Bobby Lee? I'm not allowed? Okay, okay.
1:20:10 Speaker 04 Okay, ready? You can even be yourself, you're coming to...
1:20:11 Bobby Lee? No, I, I can do character, I was on a sketch show for eight years.
1:20:14 Speaker 04 Oy. Okay, here. Here come, here comes an Asian guy yelling at me.
1:20:21 Speaker 04 No, don't, no. His mouth. I'll be the crazy part. No, no, no, no, no. Let's see you be the straight man, go.
1:20:26 Bobby Lee? Master.
1:20:27 Speaker 04 Oh, god. It works, it works.
1:20:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah, ma- master.
1:20:30 Speaker 04 Yes, yes. Bobby, good, good to see you, Bobby.
1:20:32 Bobby Lee? I can't find your orb, master.
1:20:34 Speaker 04 Well, okay, well, you know where my orbs are. You got a, I got one in my pocket. Can you reach your hand in there for me, please?
1:20:40 Bobby Lee? Okay, ma- again, master?
1:20:41 Speaker 04 Yes, please, yes.
1:20:43 Bobby Lee? Well, the last time, master, I wasn't touching your orb.
1:20:45 Speaker 04 Now Bobby. Now Bobby.
1:20:47 Bobby Lee? Alright, here we go.
1:20:48 Speaker 04 Okay, oh, the pocket's very deep, keep going. We were already halfway.
1:20:53 Bobby Lee? We're alre- we're good. That's good. What'd you think of my character?
1:20:56 Speaker 04 Tell me what you think he looks like. It seems like Igor, right?
1:21:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah, well, he's got a big, yellow face.
1:21:02 Speaker 04 Yeah, oh.
1:21:04 Bobby Lee? Squirny eyes, you know? Oh, why? I'm the one that's saying it, Ben.
1:21:09 Speaker 04 I thought it was Igor, I thought it was like a...
1:21:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, he does have a hump.
1:21:12 Speaker 04 Oh, okay, okay, yeah.
1:21:13 Bobby Lee? But, um, yeah, wow, that was good, that was fun. So that's how improv works. There, hype me?
1:21:18 Speaker 04 Yeah. Are you confident you could just get on stage and do it now?
1:21:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah, now you do one with, um, Ben.
1:21:23 Speaker 04 Oh, hell, yeah.
1:21:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah, do a character.
1:21:24 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:21:25 Bobby Lee? No, we don't even know what the premise is.
1:21:27 Speaker 04 Give me a suggestion, at least give me something so you know I'm not, so you know I'm making it up. Give me a...
1:21:30 Bobby Lee? A suggestion.
1:21:30 Speaker 04 Not a suggestion, just anything. Tell me...
1:21:32 Bobby Lee? Oh, I know, I know, I know how to do it, okay? So you're...
1:21:35 Speaker 04 I don't know, don't tell me what I am.
1:21:36 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:21:36 Speaker 04 Okay, how about this? Tell me something funny that happened to you yesterday.
1:21:39 Bobby Lee? Really? Okay, um, I was on stage and, um, some guy in my second... This really happened. Some 500-pound man...
1:21:47 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
1:21:48 Bobby Lee? Passed out in the middle of my act. There's like 500 people in the audience. He's face down, right, and I think he died. And now in my mind, I'm like, do I stop the show or do I keep going?
1:21:59 Speaker 04 Did he die? No. No.
1:22:00 Bobby Lee? No, but I got a text this morning, or yesterday, last night, a DM from a girl, she goes, "That guy, he died." So then I had to call, yeah, so that I frantically called...
1:22:11 Speaker 04 I'm of course not gonna do an improv.
1:22:14 Bobby Lee? Well, you asked me what happened. So then I kept calling.
1:22:17 Speaker 04 I said, "Say something funny to that actor."
1:22:19 Bobby Lee? I know. So I kept calling the Houston Improv going, you know what I mean? "Did the guy die? Did the guy die?" And they're like, "No." You know what happened? He passes out on my show, 500-pound man, right? They gurney him outside, right?
1:22:32 Speaker 04 So did you stop the show when that's happening?
1:22:33 Bobby Lee? I stopped. Yeah, it was terrible. 10 minutes, right?
1:22:36 Speaker 04 It's a nightmare. Literally a nightmare.
1:22:37 Bobby Lee? 10 minutes. It's a nightmare, right? They gurnied him out, right?
1:22:40 Speaker 04 Still worried about that guy.
1:22:40 Bobby Lee? He stands up and he goes, "Where does he go?" Straight to a pizza shop.
1:22:44 Speaker 04 Oh, no. What do you mean? So he passed out then?
1:22:47 Bobby Lee? In my, in my show.
1:22:48 Speaker 04 I understand that. I'm saying he passed out, then he came to and right to a pizza shop.
1:22:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:22:52 Speaker 04 How do you know he went to a pizza shop?
1:22:53 Bobby Lee? In my mind, he does.
1:22:54 Speaker 04 Oh, improv.
1:22:56 Bobby Lee? Improv.
1:22:58 Speaker 04 So that's not a real story?
1:22:59 Bobby Lee? No, he did pass out.
1:23:00 Speaker 04 Okay, but you don't know if he went to a pizza shop?
1:23:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and then he did, yeah. And then I did get the, the truth of it, I did get a direct message from a lady.
1:23:09 Speaker 04 That he's fine?
1:23:09 Bobby Lee? That he died. And then I did call the club. And then, um, he just got up and went home.
1:23:16 Speaker 04 Oh, my God.
1:23:17 Bobby Lee? I know. So do it. And?
1:23:21 Bobby Lee? And?
1:23:21 Speaker 04 I could, but I don't want to. I could.
1:23:22 Bobby Lee? All right, all right, all right. So what else happened yesterday?
1:23:25 Speaker 04 Wait, that's a crazy story.
1:23:27 Speaker 01 I have a crazy story, too, kinda. I went out last week.
1:23:31 Speaker 04 Wait, do your closer, do your closer.
1:23:34 Speaker 04 Has he done it on the air? Is this great? First time you're hearing?
1:23:36 Bobby Lee? You stand up closer?
1:23:37 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:23:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's a bullshit story. Go ahead.
1:23:40 Speaker 04 Do you need, do you need any context from the previous four minutes of the act or no?
1:23:43 Speaker 01 No.
1:23:44 Speaker 04 Okay, great. Wait, has he ever done this? This is exclusive?
1:23:46 Bobby Lee? He's gonna eat it, but let's go.
1:23:47 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:23:48 Speaker 01 All right.
1:23:49 Speaker 04 Do you need to be standing up?
1:23:50 Speaker 01 No, I can sit down.
1:23:53 Speaker 04 Bobby's heard this probably 20 times, this joke?
1:23:54 Bobby Lee? I've never seen this act. Here's what I do. When anyone's opening for me, I just listen for laughs. Right?
1:24:01 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:24:02 Bobby Lee? I don't listen to jokes. And he got laughs, so I'm just like, I just let it go.
1:24:07 Speaker 04 Oh, and you're just making sure that he's making people laugh?
1:24:09 Bobby Lee? I just want him to be happy, and I also want the room to be getting warmed up.
1:24:13 Speaker 04 Okay, got it.
1:24:14 Bobby Lee? They're doing their job. What do I, I don't care.
1:24:15 Speaker 04 We don't have a warm-up act, so we don't even, I don't even know what that process feels like.
1:24:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's a good process.
1:24:20 Speaker 04 So do you, if someone gets too many laughs, are you like, "That's too much" or no?
1:24:23 Bobby Lee? So Ramsey this weekend was crushing. Right? And I would whisper to him, like, because, you know, he gets offstage and I'm up to go on, I'm headlining, right? So I'd go, "Too much, dude."
1:24:34 Speaker 04 Really?
1:24:34 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, go, "Never outshine your master." I would say stuff like that.
1:24:38 Speaker 04 And would you talk about it onstage as a bit?
1:24:40 Bobby Lee? No, no, I would go up there and crush. What? So do you, do you ending?
1:24:45 Speaker 04 Ending joke.
1:24:46 Bobby Lee? My closer.
1:24:47 Speaker 01 From my scent?
1:24:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:24:48 Speaker 01 From my scent?
1:24:48 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:24:49 Speaker 01 Uh, hey, thanks for watching me, guys. If you guys wanna watch me.
1:24:52 Speaker 04 No, that's the very end. Go right before that.
1:24:54 Bobby Lee? No, this is the joke. There's a joke, right?
1:24:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:24:56 Speaker 04 Oh.
1:24:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that.
1:24:57 Speaker 04 I thought you were doing a bit being like at the very end.
1:24:58 Bobby Lee? Good night, hey.
1:24:59 Speaker 04 Have a good night, yeah.
1:24:59 Bobby Lee? Good night, ladies and gentlemen. No, not that.
1:25:01 Speaker 04 I thought, I literally thought you were doing. That's like, that's like me being like, uh, okay, tell me about the end of the movie. Okay, so the credits are rolling and, uh. There you go.
1:25:10 Speaker 01 Okay, well, I can.
1:25:11 Speaker 04 Sorry, buddy. No, my bad.
1:25:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, if you guys wanna watch me, I'm on a podcast with Bobby Lee. I was with Bobby Lee a couple of days ago and, uh, he gifted me a pocket pussy. And, um, he's like, you need this more than I do. And I was like, can I get a new one? And then they just laugh. And I'm like, oh, thank you, guys.
1:25:31 Speaker 04 That's your closer?
1:25:32 Bobby Lee? I like it.
1:25:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, it gets laughs.
1:25:34 Bobby Lee? That's your closer?
1:25:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, you didn't hear it? Oh, no, you didn't hear it, right?
1:25:37 Bobby Lee? That's your closer?
1:25:38 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:25:39 Speaker 04 What's your first joke? What's your first joke?
1:25:40 Speaker 01 Uh, I have lower back arthritis.
1:25:43 Bobby Lee? No, I, cause I have a pocket pussy joke that I stopped doing. There was at least some jokes in there.
1:25:47 Speaker 04 Wait, wait, wait. Give me your first one. Give me your first one.
1:25:49 Speaker 01 My lower back arthritis?
1:25:51 Speaker 04 Is this, are you in it? Is this it?
1:25:53 Speaker 01 No.
1:25:53 Speaker 04 Yeah, do it, do it, do it.
1:25:54 Speaker 01 So, um, I say that I'm getting old.
1:25:56 Speaker 04 You were asking me like, I know you're old.
1:25:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.
1:25:59 Speaker 01 Uh, I'm getting old that, uh, I have lower back arthritis on my lower left and, um, and one of the causes leading up to it, it's a lot of masturbating, standing up. And people just laugh.
1:26:12 Speaker 01 So.
1:26:12 Speaker 04 Do you say and people just laugh? You gotta say that.
1:26:15 Bobby Lee? Ben?
1:26:16 Speaker 01 No, people do laugh.
1:26:17 Bobby Lee? Ben, I should watch.
1:26:19 Bobby Lee? I think this is the fucking lesson here.
1:26:20 Speaker 04 It's the master.
1:26:21 Bobby Lee? I'm gonna watch. That's your fucking joke.
1:26:23 Speaker 01 Opening?
1:26:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:26:24 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:26:24 Bobby Lee? People laugh at it?
1:26:25 Speaker 01 And then I'll be like, so any fellas out here masturbate standing up, you might wanna lay down next time.
1:26:31 Bobby Lee? Oh, okay, there we go.
1:26:32 Speaker 04 That's a laugh. I like that.
1:26:33 Bobby Lee? That's kinda funny. Okay, there we go.
1:26:34 Speaker 04 I like that a lot.
1:26:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:26:35 Speaker 01 But I don't have lower back arthritis. It's a real thing, but one of my uncles has it and.
1:26:41 Speaker 04 Oh, so it's not real? Is this still part of the act or no?
1:26:43 Speaker 01 No, no, he has it. He was telling me and I was like, oh, that's pretty funny.
1:26:46 Bobby Lee? Okay, okay.
1:26:47 Speaker 01 But he's a hard, he's an old man.
1:26:49 Bobby Lee? You're developing, you're developing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, um, Ben, what, you wanna promote anything? I, I wanna say, by the way.
1:26:57 Bobby Lee? I had just the best time with you.
1:26:59 Speaker 04 Oh, the best.
1:26:59 Bobby Lee? The time went by so quickly.
1:27:01 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
1:27:02 Bobby Lee? You're so nice and um, I would like to exchange numbers with you afterwards. So you can give me some suggestions about the-
1:27:08 Speaker 04 I'm gonna text Katie and see if it's a bad idea to change numbers with you. And then I'm gonna exchange numbers with you.
1:27:12 Bobby Lee? Well, you know, I've had Katie's number for 20 years and I've never texted her.
1:27:17 Speaker 04 I would love to.
1:27:18 Bobby Lee? Basically, our texts would be like, you know what I mean?
1:27:20 Speaker 04 We have a lot to talk about.
1:27:21 Bobby Lee? Give me the thing and then you give me the thing and then we'll probably never see each other again.
1:27:23 Speaker 04 No.
1:27:24 Bobby Lee? So anyway, um-
1:27:25 Speaker 04 By the way, I'm good at uh, keeping things going.
1:27:28 Bobby Lee? You are?
1:27:29 Speaker 04 If it's, if you-
1:27:29 Bobby Lee? Okay, okay, okay.
1:27:30 Speaker 04 Yeah, okay. Oh, by the way, I just typed in, "recreate Igor as an Asian man."
1:27:34 Bobby Lee? That's the character I was doing.
1:27:36 Speaker 04 Oh, that's what it is.
1:27:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah, very good.
1:27:37 Speaker 04 Alright, good.
1:27:38 Bobby Lee? Okay, good.
1:27:38 Speaker 04 On April 21st, I'm announcing the rest of the tour.
1:27:42 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:27:42 Speaker 04 But for now, you go to rejectedjokes.com backslash tour. Um, I think probably what would be up is, we have those Australia dates, we're doing Sydney Opera House.
1:27:50 Bobby Lee? Wow, that's, how many seats is that?
1:27:52 Speaker 04 Um, I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't think it's, I don't think it's-
1:27:57 Bobby Lee? 3,000?
1:27:57 Speaker 04 No, it's less, it's less.
1:27:59 Bobby Lee? Oh, really?
1:27:59 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:27:59 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:28:00 Speaker 04 We're all, we're all sold out for all three of those.
1:28:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:28:02 Speaker 04 And then, um, you're gonna see a bunch, we're doing Florida, April 21st. I have, uh, I'm doing 29 shows this year, so it'll be the rest, the rest of the tour.
1:28:10 Bobby Lee? Amazing.
1:28:10 Speaker 04 And I don't think I'll tour this much ever again, cause it's a, it's a lot. I know you guys do way more dates, but-
1:28:15 Bobby Lee? Is there, I mean, is there any way to like, do a, a show for Netflix, a live show or something?
1:28:19 Speaker 04 So I have a, I have a special called "Middleditch and Schwartz" that I did with Thomas Middleditch. I have three of them on Netflix and then I have-
1:28:25 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:28:25 Speaker 04 Something brewing with Ben Schwartz and Friends Now that is unique, uh, that, uh, I'll tell you about later, but I'm not-
1:28:34 Bobby Lee? Wow, wow, wow, okay, okay, okay, okay. Um, that was, um, super fun. What?
1:28:39 Speaker 01 Oh, I thought you were gonna close up.
1:28:40 Bobby Lee? You wanna, you wanna do the closer?
1:28:41 Speaker 01 Uh, that was super fun.
1:28:43 Bobby Lee? Well, let's, let's music it.
1:28:44 Speaker 01 Hey, you have great hair, by the way, for your age.
1:28:47 Speaker 04 You're great, too.
1:28:48 Speaker 01 Oh, he does have great-
1:28:49 Speaker 04 I feel bad, you didn't get to say anything. Do you wanna talk about anything?
1:28:51 Speaker 02 No.
1:28:52 Speaker 04 Okay. There you go. I don't know why I unplugged it. Oh, a little Donkey Kong theme. Ooh.
1:29:01 Speaker 04 Alright. You gonna sing it?
1:29:04 Speaker 01 Hey, this was so much fun. We had Bobby Lee and Ben Schwartz. You can catch him on tour for 29 shows. And the franchise Sonic the Hedgehog. Give him one more time a round of applause, everybody.
1:29:25 Speaker 01 Was that good?
1:29:26 Bobby Lee? Very good.
1:29:27 Speaker 01 Are you sure?
1:29:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it was great.
1:29:29 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
1:29:29 Bobby Lee? What, because I wasn't laughing?
1:29:30 Speaker 01 No.
1:29:32 Bobby Lee? Ben.
1:29:32 Speaker 04 Thanks for having me, guys.
1:29:35 Speaker 07 (singing)
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